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#and on one hand this was horrible bc time slowed down as i contemplated whether this small sentence i said
letterstomilen · 3 years
Text
i discuss the classification of igneous petrology as you fall asleep during my lecture (PART 1) (ASMR)
Childe/Zhongli, Alternate Universe (read part 2 here) When Childe's younger sister tells him about the volunteer at the library, he does not make the connection between that and his new favorite ASMR YouTuber, Rex Lapis.
Childe has a very effective method of getting through college. His little sister, who’s caught him making coffee at three in the morning on more than one occasion the past week alone, would beg to differ. 
“You’re the best older brother,” she starts off, and he’s sure she’s trying to convince herself more than him at this point, “but you need to fix your sleeping habits.” Then, because she’s his little sister, she’d flash him a smile and pat his shoulder reassuringly.
(The comment is not lost on him though. He understands his sleeping situation will eventually wear him down if it hadn’t already, but he believes if he’ll drink a coffee every morning and a Monster every night, he’ll get through three days. By the third day, he’ll hardly be coherent but that doesn’t matter because he’ll conk out for the next twelve hours and then repeat.)
“Don’t worry, Tonia,” he says, trying to sound as reassuring as possible as he contemplates whether it’s worth it or not to swallow a pill of 5-hour energy with his morning coffee. “Once break ends, I’ll get back to normal.”
“You said that six seasons ago.”
Childe frowns, trying to remember if his sleeping schedule was this dysfunctional last year. “Huh?”
“The Walking Dead seasons,” Tonia clarifies, as if she’s not twelve years old and the show is for grown adults. He thinks. He hasn’t checked Commonsensemedia ever since La Signora labeled him as a “helicopter parent” and his Netflix tab has been playing How to Get Away with Murder as background noise for the past few weeks.
Isn’t it a show about zombies though? Tonia’s sheepish smile tells it all, because it’s the same exact guilty look he had when he got caught red-handed as a kid.
(Once he remembers later, Childe promises himself, he’ll check out The Walking Dead.)
“Oh. Well. I have a lot of shows to catch up on, you know. Not to mention a ton of my professors gave me reading for over the break.”
A half lie. They did give him a lot of reading because each professor assumed that their classes were his only one, and with seven days left, he still has a textbook worth of reading to go through. But there are no shows that Childe would sacrifice his precious sleep for. As a matter of fact, he would love to sleep. He’s spent the majority of his classes back in high school sleeping and faking attention, saving his grade at the last minute — it was quite the extreme sport really, if he says so himself.
Whenever he tries to sleep recently, his thoughts run at several hundred miles per hour, and he spends several hours staring at the ceiling before succumbing to the computer at his desk and watching trashy movies. At this point, he must have gone through the entire romance comedy list on Netflix. (Not a proud point in his life but if anybody ever wanted him to give a list of best to worst romance comedy movies, he now has one.)
Tonia, on the other hand, isn’t incredibly convinced.
Admittedly, the excuse was lame. Also, he can’t easily lie to his little sister, who’s far shrewder than he takes her for at times.
“You never start your reading in advance. You like to speed read it right before your class or watch a five-minute video on the chapters while your teachers take attendance. But that’s… uh, ‘a bad work ethic.’” Tonia looks immensely proud of herself as she says this, finishing it off with, “Zhongli told me that.”
“Zhongli?” he repeats, trying to remember if that’s one of her classmates or some stranger that’s hoping to kidnap his sister.
“The guy that volunteers at the library sometimes. He recommended me a loot of good books to read, but he talks like an old man.”
“How old?” Childe can tell she’s enjoying this — talking about her new friend at the library that he’ll probably have to run a background check on.
“Like he’s in his sixties or something. But he looks… actually, he looks your age! And he’s a student too. I told him all about you.”
Well, that doesn’t sound very reassuring coming from the mouth of a twelve-year-old. He’s not sure if that translates to his social security number, his current dilemma, or just that he’s her older brother.
“Like all of the stories you told me when I was a kid. And then when Lumine came to pick me up, she stayed to show him pictures of you too.”
“Of course she did,” he mumbles, ruffling her hair. One of these days he’s going to move without telling his classmates and the twins won’t enter his apartment unannounced. (But Tonia adores their company and the stories they tell her far too much for him to actually do it. But that doesn’t mean he’s above making threats when they tell his little sister about the bet he made about white-out and how it could dye hair. The jury is still out on this one.) “She’s just mad because I get away with it and she doesn’t. But don’t do it yourself. It’s a bad habit,” he adds, remembering that he should at least try to be a good influence on his younger sister when he can.
“Okaaay,” she says unconvincingly, before shaking her hair and running off to her room with lunch he prepared for her.
Watching her close the door and no doubt continue her binge of The Walking Dead, he takes out his phone and texts Lumine.
 Childe
12:35
ur a horrible influence on tonia
 Childe
12:35
and whos this ZHONGLI
 Childe
12:35
also is twd appropriate for 12 y/os
 Twin 1
12:37
a normal person would say hi
 Twin 1
12:37
also 1. me n aether watched it when we were 12 so probably and 2. some guy at the library that also goes to our school
 Well. At least he’s somebody they know. But The Walking Dead?
 Childe
12:38
thats not very convincing
 Childe
12:38
also dont ppl DIE? get BITTEN???? what if she gets nightmares
 Twin 1
12:39
isnt she 12 r u telling me u weren’t watching R rated movies at 12
 Childe
12:42
thats very different from a 10 season long show that is hailed as “one of the greatest horror shows in history” and “paved the way for post-apocalyptic horror”
 Twin 1
12:42
well if she has trouble sleeping she could always watch asmr. that helps me during midterms idk
 Childe
12:42
whats asmr
 Childe
12:43
asking for my sister btw
 Twin 1
12:44
A feeling of well-being combined with a tingling sensation in the scalp and down the back of the neck, as experienced by some people in response to a specific gentle stimulus, often a particular sound.
 Childe
12:45
wtf?
 Twin 1
12:45
people on the internet make random sounds or just talk into a mic n its supposed to be very relaxing. how have u never found out abt this?????
 Childe
12:45
idk the only thing on my youtube recommended r greatest stunts and chapter review videos
 Twin 1
12:47
… makes sense
 Twin 1
12:47
check out rex lapis’ channel he looks like ur type
 Childe
12:48
i thought we were talking about my sister????
 Twin 1
12:50
[message screenshots.jpg]
 Twin 1
12:50
ya she told me everything
 Twin 1
12:50
have fun i need to convince aether to not commit arson bc of his TA
 Childe
12:51
hope he does it
He opens his Youtube app, typing in Rex Lapis and expecting Lumine’s suggestion to be a joke. Despite them being friends for nearly two years now, she’s never made any indication of knowing his type. And he’s sure he’s never been that vocal about it either, only shooting appreciative looks at history majors and paying more attention than necessary to the TA for ‘Tradition of Justice and Law.’ (It’s unfortunate that those short-term crushes never led to anything, but maybe that’s for the better seeing that Childe has never understood the appeal of relationships.)
It is an ASMR channel, judging by the ASMR playlist he finds as he scrolls through the account. The icon shows no face — only a microphone — which leaves him skeptical. Most of the video titles belong in a petrology lecture as well, which makes him even more convinced that it’s a joke. He finds a few readings of ancient literature and decides to pick ‘I discuss the classification of igneous petrology as you fall asleep during my lecture (PART 1) (ASMR)’ because that’s exactly what he needs. (Not the very moment — but ten hours later when he’s in the bed memorizing the pattern of his ceiling wondering why he stole from his fifth grade teacher’s candy jar during lunch.)
When Childe opens the video, he damn near gasps.
The man in the video is exactly his type. His eyes are a soft amber color, framed with long lashes, and it’s almost enough for him to lose his dignity and message Lumine a long thank you text about how she is always right and he’ll pay for her coffee for the following week.  He smiles at the screen, albeit a little sheepishly, dark hair framing his face with a long ponytail that Childe can’t see the end of. On his right ear, there are a pair of earrings with a single feather that brush against his neck when he moves his head.
Even before he speaks, Childe is mesmerized, sure he’ll already memorize his features from the curve of his nose to the way he tilts his head, displaying the expanse of his neck.
Really — he reminds him of actors in historical dramas, the way he sits regally, and how he speaks. His voice is low and slow as he adopts a careful manner of speaking, leaning into the mic.
“I’m Rex Lapis, and I’ll be discussing igneous petrology today, which is part one in a three-part petrology series. I apologize in advance, seeing that my knowledge is limited compared to many petrologists out there but my friend Venti said that many of my viewers are here for my voice, so I’m very excited to start today’s video.”
Holy shit.
For the following week, Childe learns less about petrology, the philosophy of economics, and historical revisionism concerning matters of war and more about Rex Lapis, who is not in love with his voice but often finds himself in the middle of long tangents without explanations. His favorite book series is the Legend of the Lone Sword, which he says he’ll look forward to reading out loud for the channel. (Childe replays that part of the video again and again, captivated by his excitement as he mindlessly taps the mic while he speaks, his tangent cutting off mid-word — as it usually does, much to his dismay.)
His guilty obsession is not lost on Tonia, who realizes that instead of drinking Monster every night he’s been engrossed in his phone completely, often not noticing her or when the water starts bubbling. But because his sleeping schedule has been alleviated, she says nothing until Lumine comes over as she always does, not forgetting their weekly schedule of watching trashy movies while leeching off of Childe’s food.
Because he doesn’t trust the twins with the kitchen — even if they can cook — she instead spends her time sitting next to Tonia and spreading more of her anti-Childe propaganda while they wait. This usually involves Tonia occasionally calling out Childe’s name and asking, “Is that true?” or “Did you really do that?”
This time is different though.
Worried that Lumine finally decided to show Tonia a video of last semester’s presentation, he leans over, looking at the computer screen.
And he’s wrong. Unfortunately. Maybe it should’ve been his presentation because even if he botched it and accidentally projected his work process — screaming notes and all — to the class instead of his actual presentation, it would’ve been better than the two of them watching one of Rex Lapis’ videos together.
The ‘I read Erosion: Essays of Undoing to you as it rains outside’ video, to be specific, which is where Rex Lapis is embarrassed by Venti mid video when asked if this was his idea of a date with a lover. (And then it ends with Rex Lapis asking for video suggestions from the commentors, his face still flushed from the previous comments.)
Oh God — oh fuck.
“So he is your type,” Lumine says, her expression a bit too smug for his liking. Tonia looks half awake, scrolling through articles as the video plays, more interested in ‘Top 10 Glenn Rhee Moments’ than Childe’s crush. Her expression is a bit guilty as she does so — she’s biting her lip and avoiding his gaze, but he assumes that it’s just because they went through his YouTube history.
“I can neither confirm nor deny that statement,” he retorts, but the YouTube history she pulls up once Tonia hands the computer over to her says it all. (It’s quite mortifying, really — even Tonia is giving him a look, but it’s not as bad as Lumine’s shit eating grin.)
“Well… he does have a nice voice,” Childe finally says, thinking that perfectly encompasses his most recent obsession. Because he does have a nice voice — it’s soothing and speaks to him without really speaking to him directly. (The good looks are a bonus, he assures himself. A fantastic bonus, but a bonus nonetheless.)
“He does,” Tonia confirms, smiling toothily up at him, and he resists the urge to ruffle her hair with Lumine staring at him so skeptically. “But I don’t understand much of what he’s saying. He — heh — talks like an old man.”
“Don’t worry, Tonia, your brother likes him because he’s attractive,” Lumine informs her, now fast forwarding on one of Rex Lapis’ videos. “Did you know that he lives nearby?”
“Huh?”
The knife he’s holding clatters to the floor, and the two look down and back up at him with— hold on, why does it feel like they’re in on a secret he doesn’t know about?
“Yeah, he’s working on his grad thesis I think… Aether told me it was about something on history,” she muses. “That’s why I recommended his channel to you. He’s a bit of a celebrity in his department.” Childe’s sure his jaw dropped now, trying to maintain his facial expression as he takes out a new knife to chop up the onions.
“Really,” he tries to say as calmly as possible, wondering how he should accompany Aether to his lectures without trying to seem as obvious as possible. His voice is a bit shaky he realizes but he can’t quite make the connection between Rex Lapis and actual graduate student that goes to his university.
“Yeah, actually…” Lumine is definitely pretending to think now, enjoying this far too much. “He—”
“It’s Zhongli!” his little sister yells excitedly, practically jumping up and down at this point as if she won the lottery. “Zhongli runs an ASMR channel and he talks just like that in real life! Right, Lumine?”
“Yeah.”
Childe sighs, holding a hand up to his face. The realization that he’s been obsessed with the same guy that hears about every stupid thing he did secondhand is way too much — and the fact that he’s been listening to his voice every night before he went to bed the past week is way too much. He’s sure his face is redder than before judging by the amused expressions on Lumine’s and Tonia’s faces — really, they’re mirror images of each other right now.
Not for the first time, Childe swears to himself that he’ll never let her into his apartment without signing a contract ever again.
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diagnosedblog · 6 years
Note
Pretty much anything Mileven (calling El, El not Jane) with fluff or angst or anything really but preferably while there still young (shortly post season two)
Word Count: 3k 
Rating T: Occasional language
Pairing(s): Mike/Eleven
Content:
Chill!Mike - not as nervous or fidgety 
Growing!El - has grown on her knowledge but still struggles with things
Limited telekinesis - she doesn’t want to accidentally hurt Mike so she keeps them to a minimum.
Enough fluff but probably not enough bc this is horrible and it’s my first request please spare ily anon
okay let’s DO THIS
(please enjoy it and thank you for the prompt) - Diagnosedblog
January 11th, 1985
7:40 PM
Jim & Jane Hopper Residence
“7-4-0.”
She read this and sighed. Hopper was nowhere to be found, and El was becoming very bored.
After what happened with the gate closing and the previous events, El had decided to simply relax and enjoy being able to sit down and breathe. She still had to hide for the remainder of the year so everyone made sure to keep her under wraps. However, things were no longer as hectic as they used to be and she could finally be with her family and friends. She had more time to be with Mike now and that was the cherry on top; spending time with him. Even a day without him seemed to be a struggle now that they were able to see each other. She had grown used to their separation, and she was glad it was over.
Hopper was out because apparently someone had taken a lawn mower from farmer Merrill’s shed and used it to mow obscene images into the free grass outside of his field. Merrill was absolutely furious and insisted that it was one of Eugene’s ‘hooligan friends’, and he refused to lay it to rest. Hopper went to go question Eugene, only to find out the same thing happened to him. Both men went to the station and were going off completely on one another, and Hopper had to stay to help calm them down and gather more details. He would be home at around 8:40 or 9, beeping “HOME BY NINE” in Morse code.
This left El free to do as she pleased and she didn’t mind, to begin with. She had eaten 7 Eggos, watched 10 soap operas, took 2 naps, read 4 magazines, and attempted to fix the broken radio (which proceeded to explode).
She lay there, dazed and still extremely bored. She no longer wanted the house to herself as she had nothing to do; she had no work to do because she was not yet enrolled in school, and she had already finished her daily practices (she was home-schooled at the moment). There was nothing interesting for her to (try) to read, and she had watched a majority of the soap operas on the television. Everything else was trash on a screen. El wanted Hopper to come home so he could teach her how to play board games tonight, but since he was out she had no guide. She didn’t understand the directions and playing without them was pointless, so she gave up. Board games aside, El really just wanted to call Mike and maybe talk to the Party (except Max - there was still bad blood there). She had trouble working the phone and also didn’t know the Wheeler’s number though, so there was no hope. She laid there, contemplating life.
Suddenly, there was an unfamiliar knock at the door. It wasn’t the secret knock, but it wasn’t alarming either. It was quiet yet simple. Almost as if this person was being cautious or trying to hide. El had been taught by Hopper to never open this door for anyone else under any circumstances and these rules still applied to her even after she no longer had to hide but this person didn’t seem threatening. She pondered on whether to hide and let the mysterious person leave, or just to crack the door open a  bit.
She decided to do neither and simply turned the porch light on, looking out of the window onto the porch. When she saw them her eyes grew wide and she quickly scurried to the door and opened it.
The mysterious person had been Mike. Having been grounded, he snuck out of his basement and took his bike up the trail to the woods, as he hadn’t seen El since Christmas Day in late December. They greeted each other with a hug.
“Hey, El.”
“Hey, Mike.”
Having Mike here really brightened up her mood. The boredom was starting to consume her, and she had been wanting to see him for a while, but now that he was here things were looking up; this night wouldn’t so boring after all.
“I brought you some chocolate candies since I know you like them. Maybe you can put them on your waffles.”
“Thanks, I will put them in the fridge. I’m too full to eat anything else.”
She smiled as she took them from his hand and headed to the kitchen. As she went to go put the chocolates away, she noticed Mike was still standing awkwardly at the door.
He noticed her puzzled face and grew flustered. “What’s wrong?”
“Why are you still standing? You may sit after all.”
“Oh. Right.”
She stifled a giggle. Even after knowing for 2 years he was still a nervous wreck, and she thought it sweet.
He quickly took a seat and casually watched the television. “I got the candy from Dustin - he had a bunch of chocolate left over from our last campaign.”
Dustin and leftover food was a suspicious combo. “Is it safe to eat?”
Mike laughed. “Yes, it is, this time at least. He had a bunch of other weird candy that no one wanted and tried to shove it at me, but I just threw it back at him because of no one like honeysuckers.”
This made her grin cheekily as she came up with an idea. As Mike stayed on the couch, she quietly went through the kitchen drawers until she found a pack of uneaten jelly beans. She turned back to him from behind and began to aim. A lift of her hand and a swift wave-
FLICK.
Mike felt the back of his head in confusion. It was something had been thrown at him, like a little piece of paper. He looked around and saw El in the kitchen, who had sneakily pretended to look for something in the pantry. He didn’t find any answers and decided to just ignore it. He impatiently waited for El on the couch. “Whatcha lookin’ for?”
“Oh, just potato crunches.” While she actually picked out 3 more jelly beans.
“Oh okay. I’ll just be here. On the couch still.”
“I’ll be in there just a second.”
THUMP.
Okay, now he knew he wasn’t imagining things. Three tiny objects had basically been launched at his head and he knew who was responsible.
“Hey!”
He turned to find her giggling like a giddy little girl while holding a whole jar of beans.
“Stop throwing candy at me!”
“No. It’s fun.”
She proceeded to launch 5 more beans, but Mike ducked quickly.
“Stop it!”
El just laughed. She was clearly enjoying this.
Seeing her laugh really lightened the mood for Mike. She had never laughed so fluidly before and he loved how happy she sounded. Wait, no. No candy fights - they would make a huge mess and El might break something.
Mike huffed. “Give me the bowl.”
“Nope.”
“Fine, I’ll just take it.”
He got up and walked towards, reaching for it when-
WOOSH.
The bowl was 7 feet in the air.
“El, give me the bowl.”
“No.”
Mike tried to jump for it, but she only lifted it higher.
“Please?”
Mike pleaded with his eyes, which she found charming but ineffective.
“Okay.”
He went for it as it was lowered and-
WOOSH - thump thump thump.
She had levitated it again, but tilted it, so that about 7 pieces fell on Mike’s head.
He looked at the pieces on the floor but kept his head down. He decided it was better to play along. If she wants to play dirty, we’ll play dirty, he thought, smiling to himself.
“Okay..since we’re doing this..” he said, still facing the floor.
He jolted to the kitchen, catching El off guard and thundered through the cabinet doors to find more candies. El grabbed more beans and began to hurl them at Mike but her attempts to slow him weren’t successful, as he found a whole bowl of candy.
“GAME ON!” he screamed as he threw the candy.
El shrieked as about 10 things of candy were hurled at her. At first, she was frightened because she didn’t want Mike to throw them too hard, but the fear subsided when he literally completely missed her and basically threw candy at the fridge.
She bee-lined out of the kitchen as Mike threw multiple piles of jelly beans, laughing maniacally. El suddenly remembered the whipped cream in the top drawer to the right, and she snatched it out when she got back to the kitchen. Mike’s face dropped at the speed of light, as the can was levitated and suddenly sprayed everywhere. The whole living room was soaked - it was snowing whip cream. Mike covered himself and bolted into her bedroom, slamming the door where he could shelter himself.
“Try and get me now!”
“Damn you, Michael!” She learned that one from Miss Wheeler.
She chuckled as she set the can down and sat at the door. Part of her was exhausted, but the other part of her could have done this forever.
Mike was sitting on the other side. “El?”
“Yes, Mike?”
“I just wanna say..” Suddenly the door opened and El flew to the ground.
“Hey!”
“I found the spare can!” He snickered as held it directly in front of her face. “You better run!” She quickly got off her feet and ran out of the room. That’s what she gets for sneaking the second can into her room.
They did these things all night, and Eleven was truly having a good time. Though she did love his calm and kind demeanor, she loved Mike like this too - fun-loving and wild.
They threw and used every piece of candy and junk they could get their hands on - Skittles (“Taste the rainbow sucker!”), chips, whipped cream, waffles, even a piece of cake. The floor was basically destroyed with cream and crushed candy and snacks. You would’ve thought someone sprayed the place with a fire hydrant, as the walls were splattered with everything from syrup to flour. The kids looked even worse - El was covered in everything from Eggo crumbs to cinnamon, and Mike looked even worse with sugar in his hair and a powder covered face, with whip cream up his nose. Eleven found this especially hilarious, especially when it came out whenever he sneezed. He looked so adorable when he wrinkled his nose.
“I don’t find anything funny about this.” He pouted.
“I do.”
He looked at her as she laughed and giggled. This time he was able to truly look at her. She looked so pretty even covered in sugar and messy smashed chocolate. Her smile was still infectious as hell, and Mike couldn’t help but stare. It made him happy to see her so happy and to have so much fun with her doing something so ridiculous. It amazed him that this was the girl he loved, but he didn’t regret it in the least.
El loved that Mike had gone from being the party pooper to being the life of the party in just a matter of jelly beans. She hadn’t expected him to get into so quickly, or to have so much fun. It was so adventurous; throwing Skittles and Hershey’s and expired candy that elderly people gave you and pouring flour all over the place. The whipped cream was the best part - Mike has sprayed directly at her and running all the place had been a pure blast. She was basically in confectionery bliss; the boy of her dreams was acting crazy with her and enjoying every second of it.
She happily munched on a skittle she found in her pocket while continuing to think about it.
“I thought you were full.”
“Well, I’m not anymore, so haha.”
Mike let out a weird giggle that caused her to laugh quietly. Another great thing about him - his weird giggle. It sounded very odd, but it was still contagious. It was beautiful in its own way.
“El?”
“Yes?”
“I had a really great time with you. I thought we were just gonna watch TV, but this is way better.” He pointed to the ceiling, which was dripped with fresh cake dough. They had basically used everything in the kitchen.
“It would be funny if that fell on you.”
Mike raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think it would.”
“I think it will.”
“I bet you 10 bucks it won’t.”
“I don’t have 10 bucks.”
“Better find some.”
“Hmph.”
They quietly laid there, eyeing the fan to see if the cake stuff would actually fall. It did.
Eleven was in pure giggle fits as Mike wiped soggy cake mix off his face.
“You get some too!” He laughed as he slathered some on her.
“Gross!” She exclaimed
Mike cackled. “I’ll get it off just wait.”
“No, let me get it.” She said as he attempted to get up and wipe it off.“No, I got it just let me-”
He stopped as their faces got closer together, blushing very hard. Mike hadn’t realized he was that close to her when he went to focus on the cake mix and he had crawled in between her legs. He thought of getting out of her personal space so not to seem rude, but he didn’t do this. Instead, he leaned in, slowly but surely, and placed a small peck on her lips. They were soft even while dirty, and very comforting. It tasted like sugar and passion. It sounded corny, but it was the most honest he could’ve been. He almost kissed her again and then he realized what he was doing.
“I-I’m sorry. I should’ve given you a heads up, that was rude-”
Mike was interrupted by the crashing of lips onto his. El smiled as she held him in a smooth, but short little kiss, full of affection and silliness. She’d never kissed him like this before; the kiss was either really emotional or just rushed, but this was different. It was more joyful, more giddy and playful. Mike enjoyed it.
She pulled back and saw that Mike’s eyes were closed. He must’ve really liked it because he didn’t open them until she snapped her fingers.
“Mike?”
“Huh? Oh. I’m okay.” He chuckled nervously. El frowned; she didn’t mean to make him uncomfortable.
“I apologize.”
“What? No! It was amazing. I mean.. Really good. Cool. Yeah.”
She grinned at the nervous goof in front of her. “I love you, Mike. I really do.”
Mike smiled, face as red as a tomato. “I really do, too. Love you, that is.”
El laid back down, resting herself as Mike regained his composure. All the excitement had tired her out.
She felt Mike’s fingers intertwine with her, and instantly felt at ease. His soft, warm hands served as a forgiveness for the mess they had made, and both children blissfully fell asleep.
Eleven woke up first. She had had a very good nap, albeit on the floor, and she turned to see Mike still knocked out. He was cute while he slept; the silent breathing and the way he would slightly twitch here and there. She decided to get and check the time to see if Hopper was close. She immediately panicked.
“8-3-0! No! Dad is going to be furious!”
Mike groggily awoke. “What time is it?” Then he saw the clock.
“Shit! We only have 30 minutes to clean this whole house!’
Fear started to set in as the two realized the severity of their mess. Everything was basically vandalized with dry and sticky food as well as littered with candy.
“What am I going to do?” El mumbled to herself sadly.
“I’ll help you clean up. We have to hurry though.”
She perked up. “Of course. I will get the broom.”
“I’ll get the mop. Then we’ll do what else is necessary. Let’s go!”
They spent the next 25 minutes cleaning up what they could. It was definitely grueling; you would’ve thought there was a supernatural war going on, as paper towels and brooms and cleaning supplies flew back and forth along the house. It gave Mike a lot to keep up with and Eleven several nosebleeds and a big headache, but it had to be done.
At about 8:55 PM, the work was finally finished. Mike had just vacuumed the last of the candy, and after putting back in the closet, collapsed on the now clean couch as El sat there in her blankie, popcorn in hand (the only thing not used in the food battle). He looked at her with tired eyes and scoffed. “You get to sit there and eat while I clean. I’m underappreciated.” El playfully rolled her eyes at her silly boy. He smiled at her, all teeth, as they held hands until Mike decided it was time to leave. “I love you,” he said as he enclosed her in a tight hug. “I love you too, Mike.” She returned the hug warmly, and then he quickly got on his bike and peddled home.
Hopper came home shortly after Mike had biked home so he didn’t know the boy had been there. He didn’t notice anything at first, though he did note the house seemed cleaner than usual. “Hey, kid. I trust you been good.” He ruffled his daughter’s hair and let out a sigh of relief at finally getting home. “You been anywhere today?” “No.” “Good. Don’t want you to be in any danger out there.” He said gruffly as he rummaged through the fridge. Then he noticed it - the Eggos was completely gone. He turned back to Eleven who was completely lost in the television, holding the empty box. “Did you eat this whole thing?” She turned to face him and for a brief second Hopper saw worry in her eyes. “Umm…yes.”
He grew suspicious quickly. “Why?”
“…I was hungry.”
“There was plenty of leftover food.”
“It looked gross.” A blatant lie. The food actually was delicious, but she had eaten the waffles first and was too full to get to it.
Hopper grew irritated. “C’mon kid we talked about this. You can’t not eat just because it doesn’t look good. It’s still good for you, you can’t live off of waffles, alright?”
She nodded understandingly. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright. Just eat real food next time.” He started to walk towards his room when he noticed the fan was on but was going really slowly. He flicked it off, and El heard a strange gooey noise. Then she remembered: she’d forgotten to get the fan!
Hopper took note of the house again and walked back towards her, perplexed. “Hey, kid did you clean the house-”
SCHLOOP.
Sticky, soggy cake dough. All over him. Hopper stood there for a moment, pondering whatever it was that hit him when he realized it. “My cake mix?” She stayed awkwardly silent.
“Why in the hell was this on the ceiling?” He growled, turning to his daughter accusingly.
El didn’t know whether to feel bad for him or laugh at how he looked covered in dough.
“I can explain.”
Hopper slowly wiped it from his face. “Oh trust me. You will.”
As he went to go clean himself off, El recapped the evening’s events. She knew she would be in deep trouble. She didn’t care much though.
She remembered the fun she had and how much she had loved being with Mike that whole time. Throwing food, running around, sleeping on the floor, cake dough on Mike’s face; it was all brilliant.
A word she’d learned from Flo at the station. Perfect to describe the night.
Wait.
Mike owed her ten dollars.
Fun fact: Potato crunches are her weird names for potato chips. Just so you know lmao.
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