#and on top of it all i’m realizing being rejected numerous times about the things most important to me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rocorambles · 3 years

Text

Reciprocate

Pairing: Akaashi x Reader

Genre/Warnings: Yandere, NSFW, Mafia AU, Kidnapping, Rape/Non-Con, Forced Impregnation, Objectification, Degradation, Humiliation

Summary: You should have known better than to think you could ever truly escape from him, especially when you carry something he treasures so dearly inside of you.

You reminisce on the early days when you had met the beautiful dark-haired man, when you had been swept off your feet by striking blue eyes and a serene composure.

Akaashi had never been just normal to you and you remember how he had made your head spin with the air of mystery he carried around him, how your heart whipped back and forth between the always surprising mixture of sharp blunt words and eloquent poetry he entrapped you with. He was a man full of surprises, truly multi-faceted and you remember watching in awe at how quickly he could go from easily and agilely maneuvering his toned athletic body in the gym to lazily reading classic literature with a hand posessively but gently wrapped around your waist as you curled up besides him on the couch.

There are many words you could have used to describe Akaashi. But dangerous? Dangerous was not one of them.

Funny how quickly things can change.

Even as careful as Akaashi is, even he can’t foresee unexpected circumstances, especially when you are more entangled in the webs of his life than he ever meant for you to be. And he is forced to reveal who he truly is to you or kill you when you get caught up in things and with people who shouldn’t have ever even known you existed.

You wouldn’t be the first woman he’s killed and his mind flickers to numerous dead bodies, corpses of prostitutes and other unfortunate women strewn about when things became too complicated, when they threatened his position and the safety of his clan. But he can’t bring himself to pull the trigger, can’t even bring himself to think about aiming at you.

You’re not like the other fleeting distractions and for the first time ever, Akaashi Keiji breaks Fukurodani policies by revealing everything to you in the hopes that you’ll accept him as everything he is, that you’ll join him for the long run.

Blue eyes storm over when you don’t look at him with the love and acceptance he expected of you, only fear and disappointment apparent in your eyes, and his hands instinctively clench into fists when you flinch away from him, scrambling to create space between the two of you when he reaches out to reassure you that underneath the terrifying family name and insignia, he’s still just him.

Fine. You’re scared? He’ll give you something to actually be scared of.

His fingers dig deeper than necessary as they roughly drag and shove you, movements harsh and rough enough to make a very clear point, but never enough to permanently mark you. He likes his possessions as pristine as possible after all. And he smiles at how quick you are to go limp in his arms, obediently letting yourself be led when Akaashi’s silky voice patronizingly tells you what a shame it would be for your beautiful body to be decorated with bullet holes.

You know who Boktuo Koutarou is, even if you’ve never physically met him. Everyone in your city knows who he is, his name whispered and murmured in the streets, tales of his erratic temperament and ruthless wildness spread far and wide. The Fukurodani clan has always been a powerhouse in the underground world, has always controlled your city with an iron fist, and Bokuto, even by Fukurodani standards, has more than risen to the challenge of continuing his family’s undeniable reign, garnering respect and fear even among the monsters that share his insignia. So even though you’ve never met him, you know exactly who you’re shoved to your knees in front of, who Akaashi reverently speaks to and asks for permission from to keep you at the base as his pet, and you don’t dare open your mouth or raise your head, absolute terror paralyzing you.

Gold eyes peer at you in interest. Whores aren’t uncommon in the base, lewd moans and slick sounds sometimes making the base seem more like a brothel than the home of illicit dangerous business and Bokuto has always encouraged and rewarded his men with the best cunts money can buy especially after particularly successful or tiresome raids. But for as long as he’s known Akaashi, he can count the number of times the younger man has partaken in those base pleasures on just his fingers and even then, they’ve always been one night stands, brief flings. So he’s surprised, to say the least, when the dark haired man asks to keep you around as his little toy and he has a gut feeling that you’ll become a permanent extension of the family, but how can he deny the man who’s resolutely stayed by his side all these years, who’s pledged his life and loyalty to him? Akaashi asks for so little and if all he wants is for Bokuto to provide protection and surveillance for one more body to be happy, then so be it.

You’re no stranger to sharing a bed with Akaashi, but this is different. You had always thought that he had been holding back with you, swearing that you saw a hint of something darker gleaming behind blue orbs only for it to dissolve away as you were swept away by sensual languid pleasure and gentle, attentive words. And you hate that you were right, voice going hoarse as you scream at the top of your lungs as you’re ruthlessly taken over and over again, a coldness in the eyes you had once loved that pierces deep within you, animalistic possessiveness in the way he marks you, long slender fingers leaving bruises in their wake as he holds your writhing body in place as he thrusts in and out of your abused lower lips.

Day in, day out. All you know is a fitful sumber that exhaustion forces you into and Akaashi. His scent, his touch, his voice. You’re drowning in his essence. Dying. No. That would be preferable. At least there would be an end. And you silently grieve, unable to even cry real tears anymore when you wonder when this will ever end, if this will ever end.

As much as Akaashi would love to permanently lay beside you, duty and appearances do call from time to time and he reclines across from Bokuto, watching the black and white haired man boisterously chat with Kuroo Tetsurou, the current head of Nekoma as scantily clad women surround the two men, dragging fingernails down their chests and shamelessly shoving their breasts into their faces in the hopes of gaining their favor. They sure do seem to be enjoying themselves and Akaashi grimaces when one of the prostitutes begins to loudly moan as she grinds against his leader’s swelling erection which doesn’t go unnoticed by sharp eyes.

“Akaashi, don’t be so uptight. Why don’t I send some of them to your room tonight to help you loosen up?”

Bokuto knowingly smiles in amusement when he’s promptly rejected.

“Ah, that’s right. You still have your cute pet. But you know Akaashi, pets are temporary. Don’t you think it’s time to make it a little more permanent? Maybe put a ring on it? Hell, I love kids. I wouldn’t mind having a few runts running around the base, especially if they’re yours.”

Their conversation is interrupted by a rude scoff and Bokuto snarls at Kuroo’s taunting words.

“Because God knows Bokuto isn’t having kids anytime soon. No woman could stand bearing his kids and listening to his loudmouth for the rest of her life.”

Akaashi tunes out their bickering as the gears in his mind churn.

He had kept you on your birth control pills, not wanting to disturb his time with you as he broke you in and figured out exactly what his plan for you is. He knows he loves you, knows there’s no life for him without you. But he wasn’t a dreamer. He’s fully aware just how dangerous his life is, how impossible it is for the both of you to be able to grow old together, how much more likely it’ll be that both of you end up dead side by side in a turf war gone wrong. Yet now all he can think of is what you��d be like as a mother, how you’d look pregnant with his children and when your pills run low, he tears your prescription to shreds in front of your eyes.

You have more fight left in you than he thought you would and he’s enraged by how much you despise the thought of carrying his children, every desperate plea for him to not cum inside of you while you’re unprotected, a direct insult to him and his love for you. All he sees is red as he breeds you over and over again, stuffing you full of his cock and his seed, never stopping until you’re filled to the brim with the sticky proof of his adoration, stomach heavy and sloshing with his declared affection.

Turbulent emotions ransack you and you wish you could blame it solely on the hormones raging throughout your impregnated body, but you know it’s deeper than that. It had been so easy to become numb to being used, being known as nothing more than Akaashi’s pretty pet, being the victim of a cold, ruthless stranger you realize now that you never really knew. But it’s agonizing to once again see the hints of the man you had fallen in love with and your heart aches at how gentle and considerate Akaashi is to you once more as your belly begins to swell, a comforting hand rubbing your back and holding your hair away from your face as morning sickness has you heaving over the toilet bowl. And you feel something break and shatter into a million pieces inside of you when one night, as your due date quickly approaches, he kneels in front of you, slipping the engagement ring of your dreams onto your trembling hand.

“I know this isn’t how you dreamed of any of this happening, but I promise you, once the child is born, I’m going to give you the wedding you always wanted and do my best to be the husband and father you deserve and want. I love you.”

You sob, tightly returning Akaashi’s embrace, burying your face in his chest, wishing with all your heart that things could have been different, that you could go back to those early days, that everything in between was a dream, a nightmare.

But this is reality and as you cradle your baby bump, you know that you need to do something, anything, now that it’s not just your life on the line anymore.

For the first time in a long time, it seems like fortune is finally on your side as Akaashi relinquishes his leash on you, trusting that your growing bump will permanently tie you to him, that you won’t even think of trying to escape in your current state. And you play your role perfectly, smiling and leaning into his careful touches, accepting the gifts and attention he lavishes you with, looking to all the world like an excited expecting mother perfectly matched with her doting fiance.

Akaashi resumes taking up longer projects and jobs, no longer seeing a need to keep as careful of a watch over you or a need to remind you of your place besides him every night. And seeing one of their higher-ups relax makes everyone else careless, no one paying you much attention, no more armed men outside your door and windows when Akaashi is away.

Really, it’s embarrassingly easy for you to escape, so easy that you wonder if this is a trap, almost expecting Akaashi to appear from around every corner and drag you back to the prison he had created for you, and you shudder when you can almost feel his hands against your skin, his voice murmuring cruel cutting words into your ear.

But no one stops you and you slowly, but steadily make the long journey to Inarizaki territory, discreetly settling in and making a new home for yourself, starting a new life. Inarizaki and Fukurodani have never dealt much with each other, their territories so far apart that it’s pointless to clash or ally with each other when there are so many other enemies and friends closer to both their homes to deal with. You pray that it’s enough to hide you, to allow you to leave your wretched past behind.

It seems like your prayers are answered as month after month passes, as your belly grows and grows, as you give birth to a beautiful baby girl. You can barely remember a life outside of motherhood, your heart overwhelmingly full of love and happiness as you watch your daughter grow. And as you watch her take her first few wobbly steps as her first birthday passes, you let yourself finally believe that you can really move on and look forward, locking the blue-eyed demon of your past behind you once and for all.

Except that demon doesn’t want to be locked up, that demon is far too strong and cunning for your flimsy padlock, and you clutch your daughter to your chest when your door slams open one night and your apartment is swarmed by men with the Fukurodani insignia, tears pooling in the corners of your eyes when one last final figure makes their way past your threshold and you stare into familiar blue eyes.

As if your daughter can sense your anxiety, your fear, your hopelessness, she begins to loudly wail and bawl, wrapping her little arms around your neck and drenching your neck and shirt with her tears and snot, reminding you just how much is at stake right now.

You do your best to fake some semblance of calmness, drawing on your maternal instincts to still the quivering of your voice as you gently whisper soothing words in her ear, telling her everything will be fine, telling her that these are just mommy’s old friends, all the while watching your ex-lover gracefully make his way towards the two of you, subtly shielding her little body with yours as he approaches.

Realistically you know there’s not much you can do if he does mean harm to her, but you’d gladly die defending her to the best of your abilities if it came down to it, already ready to beg for her to be spared and for just you to be punished for your transgressions and your betrayal. You finch when you feel his weight settle besides you on the bed as he sits on the edge of the mattress, heart pounding as you feel his familiar presence, and you quickly turn to face him, only to be completely stunned by the softness in his eyes as he gazes at your daughter.

Relief floods through you and you hesitantly shift, allowing him easier access to see her, something bittersweet trickling inside of you as long slender fingers gently reach out to caress tear-stained cheeks, as your daughter’s sobs die down and curious eyes peer at the stranger who’s touching her. And deep inside you know Akaashi won’t harm her, will fiercely love her, as he tugs her out of your arms and pulls her into his lap, a sad smile pulling on your lips as you watch father and daughter reunite.

Deep inside you also know that you won’t be as lucky and your fears are confirmed when Akaashi stands, still cradling your giggling daughter in his arms, blue eyes pinning you down with a look you recognize all too well. There’ll be hell to pay for your actions.

You feel nauseous, body already aching and throbbing in anticipation of your punishment. But you plaster on a smile for your daughter as she happily plays with one of her favorite toys in the backseat of the car between Akaashi and you, peppering her tiny face with kisses as Akaashi and you tuck her into the gorgeous nursery he’s prepared for her, and wishing her good night as Akaashi leads you back out, continuously waving until the nursery door is firmly closed. And only then does your act drop and you sob as a hand harshly grips your wrist, tears only flooding down more as you recognize the hallway you’re being dragged down, body shaking when you’re shoved into a room and a bed you had tried so hard to forget.

Clothes are being torn from your body and you thrash around as lips descend upon you, a mouth hungrily molding with yours, yelping when teeth harshly bite on your lower lip before pulling apart. You feel so exposed, so helpless, so vulnerable as icy blue eyes glare down at you, Akaashi’s body pinning you in place as he takes in your figure, scrutinizing every line and curve of your body, mapping every familiarity and difference from the last time he’s seen you. But you lay still, wincing when his grip on your wrist becomes bone crushing when you try to instinctively cover yourself from him.

“I trusted you. I love you. And this is how you repay me? Running away from me? Keeping my daughter away from me?”

You open your mouth to stutter out some feeble excuse, but gasp when a hand wraps around your neck, warningly tightening before relaxing. The weight of his palm still against your throat keeps you silent.

“There’s no excuse for what you did. But I promised you that I’d be a good husband, so I’ll forgive you if you show me how sorry you are.”

You nervously watch as he completely lets go of you, eyes trailing after him as he settles his back against the headboard of the bed, beckoning you over to him with a single finger. And you can’t help but feel like foolish prey walking into a trap as you obey, body quivering in fear as he pulls you in and positions you so that your legs straddle his thighs, back arching and a cry slipping past your lips as he teasingly captures one of your nipples in his mouth and sucks.

“Still so sensitive.”

You hate how well he’s trained your body, how easily your body betrays you even after being separated from him for over a year, how well he knows every inch of you inside and out and shame and humiliation lance through you when a long digit easily slides into your already dripping heat.

“I think you’re more than ready, darling.”

Even past your wanton moans, the clanging metal of his belt unbuckling echoes throughout the room and you whimper as something hard presses against your entrance.

“Come on, love. It’s time for you to apologize. Do you know how much effort and time I spent searching for you?”

You yelp as the hands resting on your waist dig into your flesh before relaxing and rubbing soothing circles into your skin.

“But it’s okay because you’re here now, you and our daughter are here now, and neither of you are ever leaving me again. Right?”

You vigorously nod your head as blue eyes sharply stare at you, relaxing when they soften and a small smile plays on his lips.

“Good girl. Now prove it to me.”

You almost wish Akaashi had just forced himself upon you, finding it so much more demeaning to sink down on his cock all by yourself as he impassively sits back and watches you. But you’re sure that’s the whole point of this, for you to show your submission and acceptance through your actions. After all, nothing he ever does is meaningless.

And you truly do feel broken, like nothing more than a good wife, a good pet as you wildly shake your hips, bouncing up and down on his cock in a way that makes your breasts jiggle, pussy clenching even tighter and gushing even more when he orders you to look him in the eyes all the while.

“You’re making me feel so good, sweetheart. You’re so beautiful. You were made for my cock, made for me. Tell me who you belong to.”

In hindsight you’ll be embarrassed by how quick you are to babble his name over and over again in response. But here and now? All you can think about is the warmth in your chest as he praises you, the warmth in your belly as something pleasant and overwhelming builds inside of you. And Akaashi groans at how tightly you squeeze around him as your peak nears, almost cumming from just the hazed over arousal in your lust-filled eyes, pulling you in for a sloppy kiss and swallowing your cries of ecstasy as you reach your high, body convulsing and twitching in his arms as he holds you steady, lips still locked with yours as he thrusts up a few more times before finding his own release and spilling deep inside of you.

You slump onto him, exhausted body collapsing and still twitching from the onslaught of pleasure. But as the fog from your mind begins to ebb away, you involuntarily tense at the whispered “I love you” that sounds like nails scraping against a chalkboard, hesitating too long to respond in kind. And you know you’ve made a huge mistake when blue eyes are coldly regarding you once more, shivering from both the cold and fear as he pulls back from you before shoving you onto your back and settling between your legs.

“Looks like you need a little more encouragement to reciprocate my feelings. That’s okay. We have all the time in the world for me to show you just how much I love you.”

#yandere haikyuu #yandere akaashi #haikyuu smut #yandere akaashi x reader #akaashi x reader #tw: noncon #tw: rape #tw: pregnancy #tw: yandere #tw: impregnation

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sortavibing · 3 years

Note

Since you asked for a request:

Hq boys (you can choose) and his s/o getting told, that they are a cute married couple, even though they are only dating

hi! thank you for requesting! i hope you enjoy!

oikawa, atsumu, tendou, and sugawara being told they look like a cute married couple with their s/o

oikawa: you guys are at a mall, and he is helping you pick out clothes you can wear to match a new aesthetic that you want to try. he will never let go of your hand while you guys are walking, and he offers to carry all of your stuff, even though you are very capable of doing it i’m not sure if this is cute or annoying. he will constantly give you fashion advice, as he should did you see him at the shiratorizawa vs karasuno match. and if you get the chance to pry your hand away from him to sift through clothes racks, he will wrap his arms around your waist from behind and say something like

“what, are you too afraid to be attacked by my fangirls for holding my hand? don’t worry i’ll protect you.” cue you rolling your eyes

while this is going on, and old woman notices you guys and walks up to you and says;

“you and your husband are so cute! ah, oh to be young and in love like the two of you are.”

you almost say thank you, until you realize she said husband and you just can’t function before you can correct her and say that you aren’t married, oikawa jumps in and proudly says

“thank you miss, it’s true, i am a wonderful husband and i love her very much”

and he places a soft kiss on your lips you.exe.has.stopped.working as the woman walks away, you finally come back to your senses and slap him lightly on the back of the head

“why did you say we were married!”

“because i’m just predicting the future, baby”

he just smugly stands there as you struggle to find something to say back to that. he laughs and says that once you finish shopping he’ll treat you to lunch.

atsumu: you were at an art museum, joking about the modern art and the funny faces the renaissance paintings had, and overall being a little too loud to be okay in a museum. the whole time you guys were doing this, atsumu had an arm wrapped around your back and waist, and was slowly moving closer and closer to you, and after a while, he rested his head on the top of yours. this went on for like 10 more minutes, until a museum security guard walked up to you guys and tapped your shoulder. atsumu immediately turned around, jealousy burning on his face, until he saw it was someone who worked at the museum, he calmed down. the security guard spoke up;

“um miss, though you and your husband are very cute, could you please quiet a down a bit or we will have to ask you to leave.”

you were pretty surprised that the worker thought you were married, but you got over your shock and started to respond

“um- we aren’t-”

“ just a cute husband and wife, we are fucking hot” atsumu interrupted you with a smirk i swear you almost made osamu and only child when he said that “but we’ll be quiet as we can be”

the security guard nodded and walked back to his position. you looked up at atsumu and punched him in the stomach no mercy for sangwoo reject

“what was that for?” you whispered

“hey, i saw the chance and i took it, now, let’s keep on going, and after we leave here let’s go to somewhere more private, my darling wife”

tendou: you were on a date at a local park, and you were scaring the ducks and small children. and getting hyped up on a mixture of 5 hour energy and monster (you can literally see time with that shit i totally haven’t tried it). after that, you guys went onto the playground and just vibed on the swings and the playground equipment. while you were wallking to another part of the playground, tendou ran up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, pick you up and carrying you to the top of the slides, where he dropped you (lightly-ish) and pushed you down. you grabbed his arm at the last minute and pulled him down with you, so you both tumbled down the slide and fell on each other. when you guys got up, you were met by a middle aged woman, who didnt look very happy.

“yes, i know you cute little newlyweds think it’s so funny to use property meant for children, but my kids are waiting to play and you are wasting their time.”

tendou started laughing really hard and then said;

“well, us newlyweds want to have fun too, so if your stinky little children don’t want to play with us, it’s their problem.”

the woman opened her mouth as if to say something, closed it and then dragged her kids away and stomped off. you turned to stare at him in shock.

“newlyweds?”

“yeah, that sounds right, anyways i “found” some pixie stixs! let’s add them to our drinks!”

“found...”

“i stole them.”

“from the mean mom’s kids?”

“yeah!”

“good job”

sugawara: its a quiet sunday, and you and suga are relaxing at a coffee shop, working on hw and just talking about life. numerous cups of coffee are placed carefully on your table as you guys forget that anyone else is even there, as you look into each others eyes and he rubs small circles onto your palm, which he is holding with his free hand. small jokes are cracked and you giggle softly, content to stay here forever, until you were interrupted by a barista, asking if you wanted something to eat. both of you ordered a small pastry and resumed your conversation, not wanting any more distractions. the barista stood there with adoring eyes for a few more seconds, before she decided to speak up.

“wow, i wish i could be as cute of a husband and wife as you guys are, you seem perfect for each other!”

you shyly smiled as a soft blushed formed on your face, and you were about to say that you weren’t married, when suga started talking

“actually, we aren’t married, but i hope one day i will be able to muster up the courage to ask her to be my wife.”

your face reddened even more as you struggled to remember how to speak when the waitress giggled and complimented your relationship once again, as she left to go get the pastries.

“did you really mean what you said about the proposing thing?” you asked

“you know with you i would never tell a lie”

he picked up the hand that he was holding and placed a soft kiss on your knuckles, before looking up and giving you a giant smile

“i love you”

“i love you too”

omg this man is so sweet i can’t even

thank you for reading!

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #sugwara x reader #sugawara koushi #tendou satori #tendou x reader #oikawa tooru #oikawa x reader #atsumu miya #atsumu x reader #sugawara fluff #oikawa fluff #atsumu fluff #tendou fluff

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rulerofstars · 3 years

Note

do you write in modern!au? i have an idea about an angst of him confessing/proposing to his s/o but because they were too shocked, he thought he was being rejected and he left them, (cutting their contacts off and such) then they meet again after some time coincidentally and they got to talk about it and his s/o got to finally answer him (sorry if its too long!)

Le quattro Stagioni

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x (Fem) Reader

Genre & Warnings: Modern AU, angst, fluff, swearing, mentions of alcohol

Word count: 4,950 words

Angel: I am so sorry this took so long, anon. Thank you so much for requesting, I hope you enjoy this one. Play the songs in order upon seeing the little hearts (♡) that I’ll put, but only if you guys want. All the love.

Songs:

Two is Better than One by Boys Like Girls

Back to December by Jake Coco (or TS)

You and Me by Lifehouse

The tepidity of June danced along the slightly cool breeze that blew a few strands of your hair away from your face. Numerous messages from Hanji made your phone go almost crazy and overwhelmed by the bombardment of notifications. Several questions about what would you wear, what time will you go, or should they pick you up.

A sigh escaped your lips upon opening your apartment door, the cold feeling of being alone grazed your cheek, sending shivers down your spine even though it was summer. Walking to your room, you grabbed the makeup pouch on top of the dining table along the way, replying to your friend’s messages.

Tonight is a special one. After five long years, a highschool reunion is initiated and organized by a few of your batchmates, and the venue is at a small garden event place—where everyone experienced their first prom when in third year. Your lips formed a smile upon the memories brought by the sudden reminisce, it was your first everything.

♡

Highschool is a period where people often experience every kind of shit an individual has to go through to enjoy their teenage years. We get drunk, we smoke—well not everyone, but a majority has tried taking one drag and regretting it afterwards, we lie to our parents, we cut classes. It doesn’t always happen to everyone, and not every single person can relate, but the point is, highschool brought us to situations we never knew we could get through. It introduced us to unfamiliar feelings, it gave us the chance to quench the curiosity that formed within the depths of our minds.

It doesn’t always happen to everyone in high school, but in your case, you fell in love.

Being friends with Hanji allowed you to become one with their own circle, too. The ever so responsible Erwin, Mike, Nanaba, Moblit—Hanji’s best friend, and you didn’t know if they noticed but there’s something else in the man’s eyes whenever he stares at Hanji, and of course, Levi. . . Every single one of them had their own idiosyncrasies, and it wasn’t hard to get along with them, especially with the man with the jet-black hair and slanted eyes.

As a transferee from another school, you chose to go along their group, because being with them makes you feel at ease. They weren’t intimidating at all, Levi was, at first, but their warmth and how they welcomed you in their circle will never be forgotten by your heart.

Everyone has their own “partner in crime”, except for Erwin who could ace high school on his own, but he did help anyone who needed a hand, and because of his duties as a class president, he doesn’t always have the chance to mingle with you guys. And so every time you had afterschool shenanigans, Mike and Nanaba would have their own little world, Hanji would be blabbering their rants to Moblit, sometimes Erwin too, if he’s not too busy with his responsibilities, and you are often left with Levi. It’s not that you hated it—you never hated it.

“Do you want me to walk you home?” He asked, one day. It was three months after being friends with you when he first held your hand, just because an over-speeding car almost hit you while you were walking your way towards our house. His hand felt nice on yours, and the concern that dwelled in his eyes was enough to make your frail heart dance with the crispy, orange leaves.

It was in the final term of first year when the attraction towards him grew into a little crush and little did you know how he became more fond of you than he did with the others, too.

“Do you want me to get you soup?” The busy cafeteria was filled with hungry students, lunch time only allows you to have your break within an hour. Yes, fuck school, but thank God the canteen wasn’t so far away.

“Yep,” You answered, while waiting outside of the line as you waited for Levi to finish ordering your food while you held his bag, and the utensils.

“Go find us a chair, I’ll come to you.” His bored eyes darted onto yours, nodding his head, insisting that you should go and sit. Hanji and the others found you soon after being separated for a while, they sat anywhere but the seat in front of you. Because, it’s Levi’s spot if it is across yours, and nobody can change that.

The unexpected bond of you and him had grew into a light sense of puppy love, and you really didn’t have a clue about what you were feeling, but it did feel right, he felt right.

“Do you like Levi?” Nanaba interrogated you one time when she and Hanji had a sleepover at your house, and a sleepover isn’t one if you would not talk about crushes and such. Apparently, something is really going on in between her and Mike, and she talked about how it all began in middle school. Hanji, apparently, is too caught up with fictional creatures like Titans, and they spoke about not having time for crushes.

“Yeah, do you like him? Because he liiiikes you,” They teased and you brushed it off, avoiding the question by changing the topic immediately.

“Don’t be silly.” You laughed.

Of course, of course you did.

He is the snowflakes of your winters.

It was the autumn of sophomore, when you first went into Levi’s house, along with your friends, of course. You met his lovely mom who welcomed you warmly and cooked the nicest food you’ve ever tasted outside of your house, and then you met his uncle who acts as if he’s always drunk and calls Levi a little runt.

“Tch,” Kuchel showed you his baby pictures, and you stared at his annoyed face, picturing if he had not cut his long, dark hair. Maybe he could tie it into a manbun? “Mom, stop that.” You laughed, amused how he managed to snatch the album away from the grip of his mother as he ran towards his room while everyone giggled because of his reaction.

“That brat was never the friendly type, we’re glad you were able to adopt him to your group,” Kenny snorted. Behind his harsh words were a sense of gratitude, you knew that Levi’s uncle may appear as harsh at first, but he was kind, and you were pretty sure where Levi got his attitude from.

Kuchel patted the top of your heads before sending you off that day, thanking you for how well you treated Levi, “You take care of my son, okay?” She said, and it might have appeared as usual to others, but not to you. You’d never forget how she looked into your eyes the moment she spoke, as if she was pertaining to you.

What you thought was puppy love had bloomed into something deeper, something stronger, more serious, and bigger than the both of you.

-----

It was the spring of junior year when you first made out. His room was dimly lit, the curtains were closed, his bed was soft, his tongue on yours—and how you wrapped your arms around his neck just to pull him closer to your body.

The seasons flew by quickly, you knew how well your heart and mind begs for him, and he is well aware about how a single touch of you could make him falter. You weren’t dumb, and it wasn’t that hard to figure it out, what was hard was to admit.

“What do you feel about me?” You asked, staring into his eyes and getting lost within the ardor the dwells upon his irises whenever he looks at you. “Do you love me, Levi?”

You would never forget how his ears turned red at that moment, placing soft kisses on your face while holding you in his arms, never ready to let go. “Tch, what do you think?”

“I think you do, too.” You smiled, pressing your lips against his and closing your eyes, feeling his warm breath on your face, his long eye lashes against your skin, and the scent you’ve grown fond of for years.

His eyes trailed to the necklace he gave you at prom, tracing the cold silver chain that rested upon the smoothness of your neck, “Then why’d you ask?”

And he would never forget how your eyes gleamed when he told you that, as if every star in the universe exploded and the smithereens fell onto your face. “I’m right, then?”

“Mhm.”

“I just want to hear you say it,” You pouted, kissing on his forehead and studying the cosmos in his eyes. You have always wondered how his eyes looked so pretty whenever you stare at them, never had you noticed how it only dazzles that way just because he is looking at you.

“I am in love with you.”

And it’s just a matter of time when the both of you realized that “you and me” was meant to be an “us.”

Everyone knew about your relationship when you were in high school, you were a power couple, lowkey but sweet. You never fail to capture almost everyone’s attention whenever you do the slightest things, hold each other’s bags, when you give him your food, when you share food, when you share a smile, most especially when you took every breath away at your first dance in prom. The relationship was private, but it shook everyone’s world. You kept things to the both of you, leaving people extremely curious about it.

The graduation was emotional, almost everyone was crying while they hugged their friends. And tears were flowing from your face, too, while Hanji and the others enveloped you into a group hug.

“I’m going to miss you all, oh my God.” They cried.

“There, there, it’s okay.” Erwin shushed them, earning a glare from your brunette friend.

“Shut up! You’re lucky you’d be going to the same university as Levi and Mike!”

You shook your head at them, spotting your boyfriend and walking towards where he is. A small smile formed on his lips upon seeing you approaching.

“Hey,” You smiled, kissing his cheek. Good thing, the lipstick you’ve used is waterproof.

“We made it, huh?” He kissed your forehead, and seldom are the times that he is willing to be affectionate in public. You closed your eyes for a while and caressed his cheek gently.

“We did,” You grinned, reaching out to his palm and intertwining your fingers together. “Hold my hand?”

He let out a light chuckle, and you swore, you fell in love a bit more. “Always.”

While you are the flowers of his spring.

♡

Just like how high school was, college flew by quickly. After years of being emotionally, physically, and mentally drained, you couldn’t believe how you managed to reach the last year of suffering. You wouldn’t lie, but the pressure and the amount of knowledge you’ve compressed into your brain made you doubt yourself. The path towards reality was extremely horrifying, and you felt like you couldn’t take it. You doubted your own capabilities to the point wherein you almost didn’t believe in yourself anymore.

It was the winter of senior year when Levi asked you one question that almost made your heart stop.

The snow fell from the empyrean that day, the heater felt useless because of the extreme cold that crept upon the spaces of your apartment. Your boyfriend was there while you burned your eyebrows trying to work on your final requirement.

You wouldn’t lie if you would say that the stress that had been introduced to the both of you didn’t put a space between him and you. Numerous quarrels have made you stronger, but this. . . it was as if you’re aware that you are drifting apart, and you weren’t doing anything about it, and fuck how it scared you. You wouldn’t lie if you were to say that the love wasn’t as warm as it used to, it wasn’t as fluttery as before, and you understood that it could be because of college. But the thought of letting go of the man that you love just because you are so damn scared of opening up teared your heart to pieces, and so you made your mind.

“C-can we talk?” You asked, approaching Levi who sat on your couch while scrolling through his phone. He nodded, standing up and following you to the dining table where all of your papers and laptop sat, while you shivered underneath the sweater that you stole from him.

“I have to tell you something,” Your hands gripped the hem of the sweater tight, while your boyfriend lean against the backrest of the chair.

“Yeah, me too.” The coldness of his voice added to the ice that formed because of the freezing weather. Was he this cold or were you not used to anymore?

“I-”

“Marry me.”

The ice struck your core like a billow enraged with fury and no mercy. You couldn’t speak nor react as your stared at him while time remained suspended in the frost. Your mind could not process his question, and confusion glazed your eyes while your heart pounded like crazy. The grip of your hand against the hem of the sweater weakened while you couldn’t believe what you just heard.

You thought he’s calling it off. You thought he was going to break up with you, you fucking thought you were done. But you are so taken aback that you can’t even talk. You sat frozen until seconds turned into minutes. You were sandwiched in the conundrum of stress, pressure, anxiety, and doubt.

“I see,” The words that left his mouth struck you in a different way as you watched his body walk out of your apartment. You wanted to scream, to punch yourself, to hurt yourself for not being able to function. You are trembling, but not because of the cold. A part of your soul shivered upon trying to understand what just happened.

“O-oh, my God.” You whispered, rushing outside without even bothering to put on more clothing. Winter’s kiss felt like a ghost on your skin as you sat in the middle of your snow-coated staircase, seeing how he had already gone.

Trepidation slowly crushed your heart as hot tears trickled from your eyes, down your face. Realization crept in the depths of your system as you understood that what caused you to be terrified never involved anything about the future, you’re not crying because he left, because whenever he does, he always comes back to you. What scared you the most, was how he felt before leaving. It felt like goodbye.

-----

The summer dress fitted your body perfectly, putting on a small smile while staring at yourself in the mirror. After some time, you finally finished getting ready. Pink stained your juicy lips, and you topped it off with a gloss. A spritz of perfume, earrings, mascara, everything felt like complete but deep inside, you knew that something was missing.

Your eyes darted on your neck, that is why, feeling nothing around your neck was weird, because you were so used to wearing the necklace that he gave you back when you were in high school. Sighing, you found yourself opening one of your drawers and taking out the necklace once again, you never threw it away, how could you? You just stopped wearing it. Cold and pretty, it sat on your skin. It never looked weary despite how old it was, because you took good care of it. You took good care of the presents Levi gave you.

Memories of how you broke down and how Hanji and Nanaba hugged you so tight while you sat in the middle of Levi’s empty apartment tore a piece of your heart once again. How you begged Erwin and Mike to help you with finding Levi, but they were clueless, too. It hurt so much, he left without a word, cut everything off, he was gone in the wind, and never in your life had you been so confused, so hurt, desperate for answers, desperate for chances.

Before thoughts of him could fill your mind, you forced yourself to think of something else. It has been six months since then, but you would be lying if you were to say that you don’t miss him. Because in reality, you fucking do.

A doorbell woke you out of your daze, “Coming!” You shouted, double-checking everything before heading out the door. Various thoughts filled your mind upon seeing the staircase that was once buried in deep, white, snow.

“Come in, girl!” Nanaba shouted from the backseat, and you smiled upon seeing their bright faces. In the front was Mike, and Moblit’s in the passenger seat, Hanji and Nanaba sat next to each other in the backseat, squishing you in a tight hug once you got in. You missed this so much, it has been so long. You never imagined that you could cherish a friendship like this, one that could last long. One that is worthwhile.

The garden is filled with various decorations inspired by the summer. Flowers of different kinds greeted your vision, every decoration turned the same, old, and boring venue into a decent one. You smiled at every familiar face you’ve encountered with, grinning awkwardly whenever they asked you about Levi, and your heart ache. You sought for answers, and they were never given to you.

“Where’s Erwin?” You were curious about the blonde man’s whereabouts, he’s probably busy with work. He immediately got into a company after graduating. You were in their graduation, and Levi wasn’t there. Thoughts of how you panicked that day filled your mind once again, how you cried to Erwin and Mike, telling them how you’ve ruined Levi’s life. But they were comforting, telling you how the man could have transferred when in the final semester in the last minute. Still, everything’s just a possibility, you didn’t know.

Hanji scrolled through their phone, “Probably late because he’s busy,” They answered, looking at you to check if you are okay. Their hand caressed the exposed skin of your shoulder, sending comforting warmth to fight against the cold of the night. “I’m sorry if everyone’s asking about. . .” They trailed off, and you smiled at them, assuring them that it is okay, even though it’s not. How the fuck will it be okay?

Nanaba hugged you from the side while you were sitting, you leaned your head against their shoulder, letting a few tears fall from your pretty eyes.

“I’m sorry, it’s just how they knew you. . .” She whispered, caressing your back, “You’re (Y/N) of Levi.” A bitter laugh escaped your mouth as you chewed on your bottom lip.

“Hey, don’t talk like that,” You giggled, forcing the tears to stop. Mike handed you a glass of water that he fetched from the mobile bar, and you thanked him, carefully drinking from the cup. “Thank you, for being with me.”

“Always.”

Everyone had fun with games and such, the food was great, you had to go back to the buffet table two times, not minding your diet for the night. It was in the middle of the program when Erwin came, nodding at the men and hugging you girls.

“What did I miss?”

“Everything, dude. Where the fuck did you came from? Narnia?”

The spotlight is suddenly on Erwin, shocking the man who is currently eating the food Moblit got for him while he was gone, the Microphone person, Oluo, decided to interrogate Erwin, being the class valedictorian of your batch. People laughed when he was forced to take one shot of pure tequila before making a short speech first. You weren’t sure if Erwin was one of those who organized the event, but he did told you that he was added into a groupchat by a person from another section—you think Nile was the name.

Erwin was indeed, super late when you realized that it is time to for the most fun part of every prom you had in high school—the party portion. The man ate first before he joined your group’s rowdy-ass partying, you had fun as if you were back in your teenage years, except, you had unlimited alcohol this time. You’re pretty sure that either Hanji or Mike would come home late because those two doesn’t know the word limit.

Amidst the part where everyone’s being wild, from disco music to cheesy ones that you actually danced to when you were. . .

♡

A few couples filled the dancefloor, as others went to the mobile bar, ready to get drunk. It was one of your favorite love songs which played, as if it’s mocking you for not having your long-time partner. It’s mocking you for being single, fuck, you don’t even know if you are single or not.

Your boys formed a circle, they always do this every time a sweet song plays from the blasting speakers, mimicking a cotilion, but jumping to the part where everyone switches partners by forming a circle. You get partnered with Mike first, making funny faces to him like how you used to when you were young, and as he twirled you around, you found your self in the gentleman’s arms—Moblit, he told you how pretty you looked as he let you spin, passing you onto Erwin.

His eyes darted on the necklace on your neck, smiling upon the sight of the familiar jewelry, “You look beautiful tonight,” He told you, swaying you along the rhythm of the music. Your lips formed a slight smile, knowing that the reason of his stare is because of the necklace. “Don’t even think about teasing me, Erwin I swear I’ll punch-”

“Woah, easy there, I won’t do that to you.” He laughs at your glare, this man is probably drunk, you thought. While the two never knew their limits, Erwin’s a fucking weakling when it comes to alcohol. He twirled you around with so much force that you ended up not being catched by Mike and so you closed your eyes and braced yourself for the impact, but you didn’t fall.

Warm hands caught your frail body, whoever it was wrapped their hands around you, and between the the searing touches of this stranger, you felt yourself froze, feeling the familiarity of the unfamiliar touch. The clean, musk scent that had you enticed and whipped for years is recognized by your system.

There’s something about you now. . .

His warm hands embraced you like he used to while you get lost within the music that you first danced to.

I can’t quite figure out.

“I missed you.” He whispered, and you couldn’t open your eyes. You buried your faces within his chest, and how you also fucking missed it.

While various emotions filled your core, the tears that failed to escape your eyes before the party started, found their way back into your tear ducts. You didn’t know what to feel, how to feel, what to think, you are once again clueless while you let yourself drown within his touch.

Everything she does is beautiful.

But one thing is for sure.

Everything she does is right.

You are glad that he’s back.

He is the chill that makes you shiver when autumn comes by.

“F-fuck you. . .” You cried, sobbing onto his shirt and gripping onto the fabric. Levi’s hands caressed your back, pressing you closer, harder onto his chest. Fury crept upon every crevice of your heart, but you can’t let him go, you’re scared to let him go.

The love that you have for this man is so tremendous, that you can’t stand to hate him. Slowly, you felt yourself being pulled away from the crowd of dancing couples, distance made the music sound so soft, and the only sound that blasted you to bits was the sound of your heart beats with his.

“I hate you, I fucking hate you, how dare you—how fucking dare you!” Your fists came in contact with his hard chest, the feelings you have kept to yourself for six fucking months blasted like a waterfall. The force was too much, and you let yourself get carried out. Just this once.

His soft eyes never left your tipsy state, you were perfect. Still perfect.

Levi gladly took every punch you threw, every curse you spat, every slap you gave, because nothing could ever deny the fact that he deserved it. He was so fucking dumb, as Erwin and Mike told him.

“Leaving after proposing? Are you a sick fuck? Who does that?”

He received words from his friends after knowing what happened between the both of you. Curses, advices from Erwin, words from Hanji, the disapproval of Moblit, Mike’s punches, Nanaba’s disbelief.

“How d-dare you leave me! Y-you told me you won’t leave me. Fuck you, I-I love you. . .why did you leave me. . . Y-you know that I hate it when you leave me.” You sobbed, not knowing if you should continue hurting him or if you should go and hug him.

Levi’s lips pressed softly against your forehead, holding you tight, under the unforgiving solstice of the night.

“I almost failed my major. . .” He whispers, hugging the vulnerable you, while he buried half of his face onto the crook of your neck. And fuck, how he had missed this, how he fucking missed everything about you. “I never told you, because I know how anxious you were. . . I don’t want to become a burden.”

Your breathing was unsteady as you choked on words you could never say because of what he just said, your grip on his shirt tightened as you felt more tears streaming down your pretty face.

“I felt us drifting apart. . .and fuck, it scared me, (Y/N),” He paused, breathing deeply and running his fingers through your hair. “And when you asked if we could talk, I thought you wanted us done. So I asked you to marry me.”

His warm hands found their way to caress your tear-soaked face as he brought his face closer to yours, staring deeply into your eyes. “And I really wanted to marry you, baby. Fuck, I even had the shitty ring with me that time. . .” He gulped, biting his lip upon seeing the pain in your eyes. He could feel how fast your heart beats, he could feel the ache you’ve gone through for six months. “But I freaked out, And I really thought I. . . I already lost you.” He closed his eyes, he couldn’t bare seeing you cry because of him again.

“Erwin told me that I don’t deserve you, and I realized that really fucking don’t.” The cold wind kissed your skin, contrasting the heat that his body radiates. Steel grey eyes you have fell in love with years ago and until now darted on the silver necklace that sat pretty on your skin, and how it made his heart pound faster that it does. “But I am in love with you. . . The six fucking months, I’ve spent all of it trying to make myself a better man for you.”

His eyes, the gloss that reflected the beauty of the moon stared into yours once again. It’s been a while since you’ve seen the way his eyes look more pretty whenever you stare at him, because it has been a while since he last saw you.

“And whatever decision you are going to make, I will accept.” He whispered, pressing a soft kiss on your tear-stained face once again. “I am in love with you.” A small smile formed on his lips, as if he was already assuming that you’d leave him, and you hated that smile, you hated everything.

As if you fucking could.

“Marry me.” You muttered.

Gone was the fragility that dwelled upon your starry eyes, every doubt, every question, every ounce of fear that once settled deep inside your heart vanished along every meteor that crashed into the abyss of nothingness. Gone was the hate, gone was everything else except for the both of you.

‘Cause it’s you and me, and all of the people, and I don’t know why, I can’t keep my eyes off of you.

He nodded at you, speechless upon your sudden question. And he knew that this is right, he is sure. He is sure of you.

“I’m sorry.” His kisses sent butterflies and made you grew flowers on every inch of your body as he carefully slipped a ring on your ring finger. “I will make it up to you.” His words are coated with finality, and your heavy-lidded eyes felt warm once again, his slender fingers wiped the corner of your eyes before the tears could stain your face once more.

“D-don’t you leave me again.” You choked, admiring the ring that he got you. It fitted perfectly on your finger, just like how your hand fits perfectly with his.

“I’ll stay with you, always.”

“I never stopped loving you, Levi.” Your soft voice was melody to his ears, as the summer night reminded you both of how everything started. How you first met, how you first held hands, how you slowly fell in love, how you first made love, how you both thanked the cosmos for leading you to each other’s arms.

“I’ll never not love you.”

And you will always be the warmth that completes his every summer.

#attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi x you #aot #snk #levi imagine #levi aot #levi angst #levi fluff #rulerofstars

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krnsluvvie · 3 years

Text

look my way!

summary: you’re in love with one of your best friends, great. the fear of rejection and despair bring you to the very edge of cowardice and before you know it, you’ve lost him to someone who was a bit braver.

pairing(s): iwaizumi hajime x reader, platonic matsukawa x reader, platonic oikawa x reader, platonic hanamaki x reader; Seijoh 3rd years besties w reader (basically a friendship fic with angst in the background lol)

genre: angst, fluff, crackheadassery

word count: 8.7k

warnings: unspoken feelings, reader is a coward, gratuitous amount of hugging for no apparent reason

a/n: GRRRRR i hope you’ll enjoy reading!

( *L/N = last name, F/N = first name)

masterlist

───────────────────────────────────

The grand doors to the Aoba Johsai High School barely scrape your elbow as you run through the gap straight to your class, running late and soaked in the rain.

Morning was pretty eventful to say the least - not only had you wrongly set the alarm (somehow changing AM to PM) and completely forgotten to do some revising, but you also had not checked the forecast beforehand to prepare yourself for the brutal attack of raindrops that came your way. Bothered? Perhaps, but you couldn’t afford a walk back home for the umbrella, for you’d be more late than you already are.

As you set foot into your classroom, everyone turns their head towards you, all kinds of expressions visible on their faces — from astonishment to disgust - all of it and all in-between.

You simply ignore their gazes as you take a seat behind the only person you’re relatively close to — Iwaizumi. You both share a friend circle: there’s Oikawa, Iwaizumi’s childhood friend whose annoyance pushes all of you onto the edge of a cliff, Matsukawa and Hanamaki whose jokes and presence make your life a little bit brighter. As much as you love all of them equally, there’s a different feeling when it comes to Iwaizumi. It was felt back then and it is felt now. And frankly said, you don’t really know where that leads you.

You and Iwaizumi talk sometimes - although it revolves mostly around schoolwork (as you both have the exact same classes). But it’s enough for you. It always is. Your friends pointed that years ago - how you seem to ‘favor’ him. You smacked the back of their heads.

“L/N,” Iwaizumi turns around to greet you, only to be met with a frown and wrinkles across your forehead… oh, yes, and the badly camouflaged dark circles that lay beneath your tired eyes. You’re standing there, messenger bag draped across your body, your hair wet and the droplets dripping all over the uniform jacket.

Before neither you nor Iwaizumi could say anything, the teacher enters the classroom. You raise your hand almost immediately and excuse yourself to the restroom. He quirks up an eyebrow at you and upon noticing your horrendous state, he curtly nods. You were quite lucky to have him arrive a tad later than usual.

Now that you’re standing in front of the mirror, you notice just how horrible and indecent you look. You subtly shake your head and wash your face under the running tap water, not caring if it would wash off the half-assed attempt at masking fatigue. It was snippets like this when you realized how grateful you are for the times your mom still had the urge to wake you up at exact hours repeatedly, every day; it became your habit. So, it was the hunch, the inkling that something wasn’t right when your alarm didn’t go off like it normally would. You jerked up so fast it could’ve given you whiplash.

The universe seemed to hate you and you knew it. But somehow still, your luck has pushed forward and through, and instead of being soaked wet from top to bottom, you ended up with only the upper part of your body. The weather must’ve had mercy on you as well, as it started raining half-way on your way to school.

You splash your face with water. Over and over, and over again. It won’t alleviate the heat when you think back to your luck. You might be lucky… but not in the ways you want to.

---

“I heard your morning was rough,” is the first thing Oikawa says to you as you enter the gym. Why you thought becoming a manager was a good idea is beyond you. You thought of quitting numerous of times but then there was this small voice in the back of your mind telling you to just ‘suck it up and enjoy it while you can’ (with the addition of ‘it’s the last year with your friends before you part ways’ that has been bothering you for some months now). You were holding on because you didn’t want to let go of them completely, not yet. It might’ve been only 3 years since you’ve gotten to know them, but the way they’ve grown on you is just baffling. Baffling, yet plausible.

You set your mouth in a straight line and nod regardless.

Oikawa’s teasing smile disappears from his face, “Did I say—”

You sharply inhale and shake your head. “It’s all good. If you need anything, just call me or something.” Oikawa catches your wrist before you can go any further and looks you deadly in the eyes. You hate this look so much because it’s a way of getting information out of you (in your case, it’s your love life that they love to interfere in for no apparent reason). “Is this about Iwa-chan again?”

As if on cue, Matsukawa and Hanamaki appear by each of Oikawa’s side and look at you expectantly. Cool, what are you supposed to do now? Lie? “Of course not. I just really had a shitty morning. You even said it first.”

“Okay,” Oikawa hums. You notice how both Matsukawa and Hanamaki are staying eerily quiet. “And you were avoiding him for what reason, then?”

Of course you weren’t going to lie?! Because they would have called your bullshit out anyway. “I wasn’t avoiding him…” Oikawa sends you a glare and you subconsciously wince.

“I just needed some time figuring stuff out, I think.”

Matsukawa puts a hand on your shoulder, “L/N, how long have you liked this guy?”

“Imagine liking Iwaizumi,” Hanamaki butts in. Oikawa fist bumps him and you can’t help but roll your eyes. Are those really the ones you’ll be spilling your guts to regarding your love life? Crazy shit.

“Uh, um, since first year, I believe?” You might’ve told them that you had a crush on Iwaizumi but you never specified since when and how big of a crush it was.

When those words rolled off your tongue, you knew that it barely was a crush anymore.

And it seems like the guys knew it, too - you could tell especially by their widened eyes. You check the time on your left wrist and leave no room for any of them to comment anything by yelling, “Practice starts in 10!” And so, you shake off the grasp Oikawa had on your wrist and get into the ‘indifferent L/N’ mode.

You notice Iwaizumi making his way into the gym, changed into his sports clothes and you can’t help but feel the fluttering slowly increase in your stomach. Why is it so intense today? You accidentally lock eyes with him and you turn your gaze away so fast you would have snapped your neck.

---

Practice felt insufferably long. You noticed the team’s improvement as a whole, except —as much as you don’t like to admit it— Iwaizumi who seemed a little bit more aloof than usual. His spikes, though, were as powerful as ever, you noted. As you shouldered all the necessary bags and helped the team with cleaning the equipment, Iwaizumi tapped on your shoulder, sweat trickling down his temples. His cheeks were reddened from all the jumps and spikes. “Can we talk later? I’ll… wait for you.” You widened your eyes. Your mind was screaming at you to say No, or even some type of excuse - as long as you didn’t have to face him. Much to your dismay, “Yes,” was what you let out while walking forward to the exit to the secretary. You couldn’t afford looking at him directly, who knows what would happen then, had you had stolen a glance.

On your way back to the gym to retrieve your belongings, you met Oikawa, Matsukawa and Hanamaki by the exit. You sent them a glare and went past them. “You shouldn’t waste your time. Do it while you still can.” Oikawa said as he left. Matsukawa and Hanamaki sent you a sympathetic smile before following right after him. “You’re not waiting for Iwaizumi?”

“He said he was gonna talk to you!” The thought of strangling Oikawa felt just right at the moment.

So, this is it.

Iwaizumi is looking anywhere but at you. Honestly said, if you hadn’t known better, you would’ve deemed him as the silent and shy type of guy who would shut his mouth rather than voice his own opinions. But, you do know him better and you know that’s exactly what he’s not and, you can’t help but feel envious at the thought - he was never the type to not call out any of you guys’ bullshit.

So, it doesn’t surprise you when you hear him say, “L/N,” you sharply inhale. “Is there something wrong? Or, like, did I do something wrong?”

You draw your bottom lip between your teeth. You want to blame all the feelings on him; it’s his fault for being the way he is, his fault for acting the way he does, his fault for making you fall head over heels for him - a fact you never dared voicing out until recently. Ultimately, you shake your head and say, “What makes you say that?”

Mental facepalm.

Iwaizumi laughs, you can’t really tell if he meant it or if it was done out of a sarcastic manner, “Hm, aside from avoiding me all the classes and glaring at the back of my head all day, I don’t think anything in particular happened.”

You let a small smile overtake your features. “Oh, well, I did have a shitty morning. But at the same time I don’t want to blame it all on it and I’m sorry it came out the way you perceived it, and-”

Iwaizumi catches you by your shoulders and looks you so tenderly in the eyes you feel like melting from it. You look away as he says, “L/N, you’re ranting.”

You steal a glance at him and notice how his hair is messy from practice and how his cheeks are still pink-dusted. You slowly feel the redness wash over your own cheeks and you ignore the warmth that leaves you when you push Iwaizumi away. “You dumbass, you didn’t do anything wrong, so it’s all good.”

Iwaizumi tilts his head to the side. You sure? You nod and make your way towards the school gates. “Iwaizumi,” you call out, “I glare at you every single day. I’m baffled you realized now!” He catches up to you and ruffles your hair.

“Oh, you’ll be regretting those words.” He slings an arm over your shoulder as you two walk the same path home. Your heart beats a little louder and you internally berate yourself for that. You keep reminding yourself that the boundary between you two must be visible. And even if you crossed a millimeter, you’d be sure to compensate for it - whether that took lunch break spent under the bleachers, or missed practice because you ‘felt sick’ that day.

You were a coward. You were such a coward.

---

Three months later, you’re found in the library with Matsukawa. He needed help with explaining some school stuff you understood and thus, how your study date was born. You prop your chin in the palm of your left hand, the other hand twirling with a pen you found in your pencil case. You look into the distance and your gaze lands on the huge bookshelves, and you wonder if you could find an interesting book to read.

“- do I use a comma here or not?” Matsukawa asks. You hurriedly turn to him, your face softening as you ask him to reiterate the question. You knew it was probably a bad idea to stay after school and help your friend - since you’ve been unfocused and grumpy the whole school day; this session would only add more fuel to the fire. But, then you thought back to all the times when he helped you and you felt bad for not doing anything in return.

“Uh, let me see,” you say as you grab his textbook to go over the sentence he was struggling with. Matsukawa immediately retrieves the textbook from your hands and, with a puff, closes it. Not so softly.

“L/N,” Matsukawa sighs, you notice how his hands are folded atop the textbook. “Just why are you doing this to yourself?” His voice is soft despite what he’s said. “Mattsun, we’re not here for—”

Under the intense stare he gives you, you recoil and say, “I mean, he’s going out with someone already, no? Why would I ruin that now?”

Matsukawa massages his temples and looks you dead in the eyes, his hands clasping over yours. “L/N, you’re being ridiculous now. Just look at how miserable you are!” He fixes his gaze elsewhere, the grip he has on your hands tighten a bit and you sigh in relief. He’s telling you he’s here for you. “It hurts seeing you like this, you know? The guys might not show it but, they’re hurting as much as you are. But you know it’s not our thing to say nor even our business to interfere in.”

You grin, “Fancy of you saying this while interfering in my nonexistent love life.”

Matsukawa snickers and lets go of your hand. “It’s not that nonexistent.”

You’ve always known that out of all the guys, you were a tad closer to Matsukawa. How it came to that point, you don’t really know but even without having to say it out loud, you both knew you could trust each other. You give him a smile and a reassuring nod. You’re here for him, too.

Later that night, you receive a message from Iwaizumi. The temptation to ignore it was so strong yet, somehow, you find yourself clicking on his contact and read over the message.

From: Iwa-shit (do not interact)

> L/N! emergency! what do I wear on a formal date, the first or the second one? respond asap pls

You regret… You regret clicking on the message because it hurts - knowing there’s someone who can potentially make him happy, someone that Iwaizumi will come home to, someone that can be his forever. Above all, though, what hurts the most is that you brought all this pain upon yourself.

You look at the attached pictures: in the first one, Iwaizumi’s wearing a basic black suit, with a white dress shirt underneath the blazer and dark pants that reach above his ankles. The second is more ‘daring’ - he’s sporting a blue jean jacket with a hoodie beneath it and black jeans. You snicker at it, is this really what he considers wearing to the aforementioned formal date?

To: Iwa-shit (do not interact)

< iwaaaaa ur not serious about the second one r u?

From: Iwa-shit (do not interact)

> Lmao who do you take me for? Ofc not!

To: Iwa-shit (do not interact)

< what was the reason then ?!?!!

From: Iwa-shit (do not interact)

> Bored and wanted to talk to you.

Before you could respond, though, another notification pops up on your phone, signaling someone’s messaged you, or more like, the group chat.

From: Oikawa [Seijoh’s mightiest third years]

> lmaoooo yall heard? iwa-channn is going to a wedding. now place ur bets on how long it will take him to fuck sumn up

From: Makki [Seijoh’s mightiest third years]

> five dollars for less than an hour

From: Mattsun [Seijoh’s mightiest third years]

> Stfu (read: 5 bucks for less than two hours we gotta have faith in him cmon)

From: Iwaizumi [Seijoh’s mightiest third years]

> Just why.

Oh, this is the formal date? They must’ve gotten real close if Iwaizumi will be his date’s date.

You click on the chat with Iwaizumi.

From: Iwa-shit (do not interact)

> And the guys, I guess.

Another message incoming.

From: Iwa-shit (do not interact)

> Lol, don’t you just love jinxing yourself?

You send him laughing emojis. You two end up texting for some more minutes before that turns into a call and just hearing him talk about something that makes him happy is enough for you. You notice that whenever it comes to Iwaizumi, everything suddenly seems sufficient.

You both end up talking about miscellaneous things - one of them being his date. He tells you about how he met her (through Oikawa as the date attends the same class) and what exactly led to the point where they were now. You knew he was seeing someone but hearing it directly from him made you want to rip your hair off and yell slurs at yourself, and cry into your duvets and —

And what? You need to face the reality - you’re too late now.

“L/N?” Iwaizumi asks through the phone, his voice sounding weary and tinny. You rub your eyes and yawn. “Iwaizumi, we should go to sleep. I wouldn’t want to run late to tomorrow’s date!” You try to sound as cheerful as possible. Your voice cracked at the last bit but it seems that Iwaizumi brushed it off as drowsiness. “Right. Well, thanks for talking to me, dumbass.”

“Who are you calling a dumbass? Look at you, thanking your friend for talking to you. That’s ridiculous.”

“Look at the ungodly time, dumbass.” You do, the clock reads 2:32AM.

“Shut up, just sleep.” And you hang up.

You notice another message.

From: Iwa-shit (do not interact)

> I meant it, L/N. Thanks

You smirk.

To: [Seijoh’s mightiest third years]

< five dollars it will take less than thirty minutes

From: Oikawa [Seijoh’s mightiest third years]

> GASP game on b

A day after the date, you all gather at your and Iwaizumi’s joined desks. “So,” Oikawa starts, scrolling on his phone through the numerous posts. “Little birdie posted something and tagged Iwa-chan in it! Let’s see!”

Oikawa places the phone in the middle for everyone to see and clicks on her latest post.

The caption reads: ‘Ladies and gentlemen, it took him 28 minutes to bang his head into the stand!’ Oikawa scrolls through the pictures where the said stand was not as straight as it should be. More pictures show him standing next to his date, his smile vibrant and eyes twinkling with happiness. You notice how Iwaizumi’s smile grows bigger each time Oikawa swipes to the left. It is a sequence where he and his date look at each other with so much adoration you have to bite the inside of your cheek to not break down right then and there.

“I can’t believe you dragged my girlfriend into this.” Oikawa visibly gasps, quickly stealing a glance at you and you dare say you caught the slight look of pity in the pools of his eyes. You look away. Even Hanamaki —who enjoys teasing the hell out of you— sends you a look of indescribable mix of emotions and you just brush it off by rolling your eyes at him. You can’t lie that the tears pricking your eyes aren’t present because oh, well, they are.

“Congratulations!” You find yourself saying a tad louder than you intended to. The three of them look at you with widened eyes, quizzical looks on their faces. You lock eyes with Matsukawa and you nod, silently telling him that you know, you know, you know.

The ambience in the classroom gets a little bit more suffocating. “If you’ll excuse me,” you say as you make your way towards the restrooms. Why can’t you just be happy for him? Why do you hold on to something so… trivial? Do you want to lose what you already have? You repeatedly splash water over your face.

I’m a mess, you whisper to yourself as you notice the puffy red eyes and run your hands along your cheekbones. You’re ready to curse the universe for treating you like shit because as much as you are aware of the situation, you don’t deserve to feel this way.

However, despite all of this, you know that in the end, you have no one but yourself to blame.

---

Seconds, hours, days, weeks go by and graduation seems closer than ever. Naturally, all of you have become more busy with preparing for the exams. As much as you hate to admit it, you miss them.

It felt good the first few days; you had them off your back and you didn’t have to deal with their bullshit you’ve grown accustomed to (for some reason, and very much to your dismay). But recently, you’ve been feeling empty and you haven’t been talking that much - though, not that you minded. Typically, you four would spend the sunny afternoons in your backyard, black-tinted sunglasses protecting your eyes from the scorching hot sun. You would stuff yourselves with too much ice cream, jelly sticks of all flavors and too many yogurt drinks that had no right tasting so good.

Once inside the house, Oikawa would lie on the table, fanning himself with the poor excuse of a textbook, Hanamaki and Matsukawa would solve like one and a half math problems and then rest on the table, too, cheeks pressed against the cold surface. Iwaizumi would prepare snacks and you’d help him with that.

You’d notice the way he talks so mindlessly when it came to the things he liked: it being volleyball or Agedashi Tofu. You’d play some music in the background as the two of you would work on preparing the snacks. You’d feel just how dangerously close you two are when he leans over your body to retrieve a cup from the shelf. You’d be hyper aware of everything and that was one of the things you loved and hated simultaneously.

So it was quite a surprise to get a call in the middle of your study session.

You slide to the right with your thumb, accepting the call. “L/N! My favourite person!”

“Cut the bullshit, Oinks. You need something?” You press the phone between your ear and your shoulder as you decide to cut up some fruit. “Actually, I don’t need anything.” You frown, then why did he call you? To waste your precious time? “I just wanted to let you know that the guys will be picking you up in,” a momentary pause, “like five minutes because we’ve missed you and you deserve a break from studying.”

You nearly yell at him but instead, you say, “I hate you.”

“Aw, I can feel the love!” You roll your eyes. Then comes silence. The sweet, bitter, hung-up-in-the-air silence that circles around you in vexing motions, driving you crazy.

“Look, about Iwaizumi’s relationship-”

You gasp, “Iwaizumi.” You mockingly repeat. Oikawa sighs on the other line. Right, no time for jokes. “L/N, his girlfriend makes him really happy. I honestly don’t know why I’m telling you this,” you don’t know either, “but I know you’re a good person and you wouldn’t want to ruin that. And, I know you hate people who pity you but I still feel the need to apologize-”

“You’re so embarrassing, I can’t believe you. Why should you apologize for something that was not even your fault?”

“Hm, kinda like a best friend’s duty, I dare say.” You laugh - this one’s legitimately genuine. “You can be, uh, bearable sometimes.” Oikawa guffaws so loudly you have to put your phone away from you to not get an ear-rape. “I’ll use that against you, ugly.”

“Just say you love me and go,” You jokingly say, not expecting the latter to say the words.

“Now, say it back,” he whines. All you let out, though, is an incomprehensible screech and a ‘See you there!’, and end the call.

Subconsciously, you might just have said them.

The doorbell resounds throughout the whole house and you run to the front door, peeping through the hole to see who decided to pay you a visit. You see Hanamaki and Matsukawa waving at you.

You open the door, the wind sending a refreshing swoosh to your hair and you smile upon seeing the two boys before you. “You look kinda scary when you smile,” Matsukawa says as you threaten to hit him with your palm outstretched. Hanamaki doesn’t seem unfazed by your antics as he asks,“Oikawa probably called you, no?”

You nod and get out of the doorway so that they can enter the house. “As usual, make yourself at home and you can steal some cut fruit in the kitchen.”

Five minutes later, you descend the stairs in your jogging pants and short-sleeved shirt. They didn’t tell you where you were going so you went with something casual yet comfortable.

Putting on your shoes, you lock the front door and catch up to the two that went ahead. You notice how both of them are wearing casual clothes as well - but unlike someone, they had the formality to at least wear jeans. You’re walking by Hanamaki’s left side, flanking him with Matsukawa on the other. “So, where are you two dragging me?”

Hanamaki turns to you and with a saccharinely sweet smile and elbows you lightly in the ribs. “It’s a secret~” You return the gesture with a little more strength than you wanted - hence, Hanamaki unintentionally pushing into Matsukawa’s side, nearly flying him into the fence of someone’s house if he hadn’t braced himself for the impact.

“Wow, L/N, if you’re mad, just tell us, damn,” Hanamaki rubs his ribs, dramatically hissing in pain. You roll your eyes but apologize regardless. “You good, Mattsun?” He nods at your question and you send him a contrite look of sorts.

“Is it just me or have you gotten a bit more aggressive?” Hanamaki nudges into your shoulder and you send him a questioning look - brows furrowed and a bottom lip tucked between your teeth. “Huh?”

Hanamaki sighs, “I don’t know, ever since Iwaizumi announced his relationship or whatever, you’ve been tense around him… avoiding him, too.Us, too… kinda.”

You look into the distance, noticing a building that you know all too well, “You know, Makki, you seem to notice a lot of things despite your unattentive nature.”

“I am,” Hanamaki inhales theatrically, “offended.”

“As you should be, honestly.” Matsukawa elbows him in the ribs. Hanamaki turns to him, “Just because L/N hurt my ribs from the left side doesn’t mean the right side needs to be damaged, too!”

“You spend too much time with Oikawa,” You tsk, letting out an airy laugh.

“Don’t tell me we’re gonna have to sit through Oikawa’s karaoke session again,” You slap your forehead. You knew that the two boys you are currently with didn’t propose this idea - if anything, they must’ve been forced into this… as would be you and Iwaizumi. Of course. It’s a tradition after all.

“Yep,” Matsukawa shrugs. “But look on the bright side, you can yell whatever to appease your anger you’ve been bottling up.” You glare at him and he raises both of his hands up in mock-surrender.

Hanamaki catches your wrist and motions Matsukawa to enter the building first. He complies. “Listen, we just want the squad back on its good terms, so we’ll hope you’ll talk it out today.” You slowly nod, ready to take off to the building behind Matsukawa. “One more thing,” Hanamaki loosens the grip on your wrist. “Remember that Iwaizumi was a friend first before he was your first love.”

You stiffen. Were those the words you’d always needed to hear but they’d never occurred to you? Iwaizumi was a friend first before he was your first love.

Something clicks.

How could you have been so selfish; wallow in your self-pity, run in circles because all you could do was to remind yourself that this was your fault, your reality now? How could you have been so reckless, risking years of friendship on the line?

“You coming?” Hanamaki yells, palms cupped around his mouth. You nod, slowly reaching the building.

---

Five karaoke sessions (and a very enthusiastic Oikawa-singing) later, you plump down on the couch, wiping the perspiration off your forehead. It’s tiring - watching Oikawa giving his all to convey the right feelings into the song. You must admit, he sure is passionate; it’s almost as if you were watching him play volleyball - except with a mic in his hand instead that he wouldn’t throw around… hopefully.

As the song nears its end, you all let out a breath of relief, a mix of annoyance, boredom, and tiredness hanging in the stuffy air. You let yourself sink further into the sofa, hoping it could swallow you whole and erase your existence.

Okay, maybe you should tone down being so pessimistic.

“How was I?” Oikawa asks, eyes sparkling. His hair is unkempt from all the unnecessary movements he made during the climax of the song and his cheeks are painted a rosy hue - you note even with the flashing lights casting every color across his face.

You smirk, “Not bad.”

Oikawa frowns at your response, tightening his grip on the mic. “What do you mean ‘not bad’? After everything I’ve done for you? I see how it is, you’re gonna hear me sing again—”

You steal a glance at Iwaizumi. You notice how he’s staring at the door, probably wishing he were anywhere else but here. Hanamaki comes into your line of sight and you motion him to do anything to catch Iwaizumi’s attention, thus Hanamaki getting buried alive as he slaps the back of Iwaizumi’s head. He glowers at Hanamaki, already rolling up his sleeves.

Hanamaki points in your direction and you catch Iwaizumi’s green eyes that glisten a little bit brighter in the excessively flashing-lit room. With your thumb, you point to the exit and he nods, a look of relief washes over his features.

Once outside the suffocating room, you inhale the fresh air. Summer is just around the corner and even though it was your favourite season, you can’t help but indulge yourself in the chilliness before it changes its course for the next three months.

“Uh, good day, yeah?” Iwaizumi shoves his hands into his jeans’ front pockets, admiring the gravelly ground. He’s put some distance between you two.

“Sure, if being forced into this activity with Oikawa is a good thing.”

Iwaizumi chuckles, “It’s our thing, L/N, and you know it.” You nod and purse your lips in a straight line because well, he made it awkward for no reason. Or was it you for saying something so obvious?

“How are the exam preparations coming along? Dream college or something like that?” You fiddle with the hem of your shirt, looking past Iwaizumi’s shoulder at passersby.

“Could be better but so far no mental breakdowns.” You can hear the sarcasm laced in his voice as he speaks. “Was thinking about sports science ‘cause you know, it hurts me to watch athletes injure themselves.”

“Hajime, you’re a good person.” The words tumble out of your lips before you can stop yourself; it felt too unnatural to not say it. Iwaizumi barks a laugh. “You, too, F/N.”

You grin, “Obviously.” If you truly meant it or not, you didn’t know.

Comfortable ambience surrounds you both as you let the wind carry out the unsaid words.

You were never a person of many words - you’ve alway been a little too blunt, a little too hotheaded, a little too selfish. Although in most of the cases you were not aware, it was about damn time you got your head out of your ass and looked around yourself.

“I’m sorry.” You mutter, hoping it would cover all the damage you caused (and fully knowing that would not be the case).

Iwaizumi looks up, eyes searching yours. He quirks his eyebrow in a silent question.

You reconsider your words. “I’m sorry for not spending that much time with you. I know we’re not bound to each other or anything but I just felt like… maybe it was better for the both of us? I mean, we’re graduating in less than two months and … yeah.”

“Oh, so that’s why. I thought you were avoiding me,” he scratches the back of his neck, tilting his head. “You also haven’t been showing up to practice anymore so I thought…”

Right. Of course.

“Well, I managed to lure this first year into taking over my duties for the time being that I figure my shit out, you know?”

Iwaizumi mock-gasps you. “You’re so irresponsible.” You roll your eyes as some sort of retort.

“Come here.”

You look up in horror; his arms are outstretched and there’s an evil smile strewn across his face. “What do you want to do, Iwaizumi.”

“Dumbass, just give me a hug,” he says as he steps forward and catches you off-guard by encircling his muscular arms around your shoulders, squashing your face in the crook of his neck. He pats your back in a steady rhythm, your arms unmoving by your sides. “Come to practice and let that first-year breathe, will you?”

You let a small smile snake its way onto your face. “After all, this is what you say?”

“Priorities,” he hums, holding you still in his embrace. You groan in pseudo-annoyance as you lightly punch his stomach to get him away from you, only to no avail. “Cute of you to even try, now hug your friend back or I’m not letting you go.”

You sigh, “Everyone sounds like Oikawa, just how much extra time have you all been spending together?”

“Maybe if you had tagged along, you would have sounded just like us, too.”

“Is that really a win?” You say as your arms weakly encircle his waist, ghosting over it. “Now, let me go, you sap.”

Iwaizumi infinitesimally tightens his grip around your shoulders. “I would never.”

You flutter your eyes close against his shirt, your forehead pressed against his shoulder. You notice it was quite similar to something you had with Matsukawa - some kind of reassurance that they were here for you no matter what. Whether Iwaizumi meant it in that sense or not, you let yourself drop your build-up guard as you snuggle deeper into the comfort of his embrace and mutter a ‘thank you’ you hope he caught.

---

“Hajime!” You look up, your hand with the pen halting on the clipboard sitting on your forearm.

The person in question runs up to the girl and hooks her hands around his neck as he twirls her around in front of his teammates that look surprisingly apathetic.

“She keeps coming to his practice, why does he act like it’s always the first time?” You hear Kunimi mutter by your right and you send him an eyebrow raise to which he responds with a scowl. You wince. Kids these days.

Kindaichi bows and apologizes on Kunimi’s behalf. You wave him off with a half-smile and ruffle his hair, saying how great his blocks were.

“I will do my best!” He says as he dashes off onto the court, meeting up with the rest of the teammates. You catch Oikawa’s concentrated face as he gives the second years some advice on spiking. You smile fondly to yourself; there truly was not a better captain; leader.

“L/N-san,” the first-year tugs at your jacket, you nod in acknowledgment, prodding her on. “I’ll have to go now, so if you'll excuse me.”

“Of course! Thank you so much for helping me! Have a great day!” The first-year bows and leaves the gym with a wave. You reciprocate it with an added smile.

The girl from earlier approaches you in light-weight steps, her uniform neatly ironed, you noted. She has her hair in a high ponytail and you notice how stunning she is. “These guys can be really mean on the court, no?”

It takes you embarrassingly long enough to understand that she’s talking to you. “Oh… uh, yeah. They can get aggressive.”

“How long have you been a manager?” She suddenly asks, eyes sparkling with interest.

“Ever since I became a first-year, so three years now.” You answer, noticing how she’s clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “I can’t even imagine how bad must it be for your mental health to deal with these brats.”

Oh. “Hm, if you’re used to hearing their bullshit everyday, I’m sure you’d be just fine.” She laughs genuinely. You subconsciously tighten your hold on the clipboard.

“Maybe,” she mutters, her gaze landing on Iwaizumi who spikes the ball set to him specifically by Oikawa onto the opponent’s court, adding a point to his team.

“Honestly I admire you for that.” You stay still because… what else is there to do? “As much as I’ve always wanted to be one, I don’t think I’d be good at it, and it’s too late for me, anyway.” She dry-laughs, the sadness clearly woven into her voice.

“I can show you some things if you want. It’s mostly paperwork but there’s also—” (the habit of talking before thinking was getting out of hands now)

She eagerly nods as you hand her your clipboard you’ve been writing into the whole time. The coach sends you a questioning look but you wave him off, mouthing ‘okay’, ‘no problem’ and everything in between.

As you two work in silence - you showing her the basics and the fundamentals, and her nodding everything off and asking questions (which reminds you of the first-year that you were lucky to find because, let’s be real, who would be so excited over taking the responsibilities?), you both don’t notice Iwaizumi watching you two interact, thinking how two of his favorite people are conversing.

And that’s how he gets zonked. In the head. By Oikawa.

Before you could run off to check up on Iwaizumi, she catches your wrist. “He’ll be okay in no time.”

You let your jaw drop. “W-what…”

“Just look at him, this happens all the time, don’t worry.”

“But it’s my responsibility—”

“Look out, L/N!!!” You turn towards the voice, for the first time in your life catching the ball... with your face. And as you hit the ground, blackness is the only thing that surrounds you.

Your head is spinning, the pain pounding against your skull. You’re lying on a bed, the headrest slightly raised. You bring a hand up to your face, feeling just how much it is swollen beneath your fingertips. “You’ll be okay,” the nurse says, cleaning up the supplies. “It’ll take some time healing; you got a pretty severe hit.”

“Yeah,” you let out, defeated. “What about Iwaizumi?”

“Ah, yeah, he’s just left. He’s okay, if that’s what you’re wondering.” You let out a sigh of relief. Just what the hell happened? You throw a forearm over your forehead and flutter your eyes close, indulging in the way the mattress beneath your body feels nice. Before you know it, you slip into the dreamland.

;

The practices have been less and less rigorous, considering the fact that the third years prioritized their decent marks rather than ‘some hobby’ (“L/N! How could you say that!” Oikawa whined on one fine day, tugging at your sleeve. Iwaizumi sent you a glare that day.). After all, they could’ve retired after losing to Karasuno but Oikawa was rigid, and someone had to lead the team for the little time that they had left.

You also have been seeing Iwaizumi’s girlfriend come to his practices, cheering him on or completely shattering his ego. They fit one another really well; she was there to ground him if he got too aggressive. Their natures seemed to clash in the right way. You swallow the bile rising up your throat.

No.

“L/N!” You turn to the voice, noticing it was her. You wave at her. This has become some kind of routine you both fell into, with the rest of the team as well. “How’s school?” She asks out of the blue and you weigh out the options: to answer or to digress. Why would she start a small talk, considering you two aren’t relatively that close yet?

You ignore the nonsensical thoughts your mind loves conjuring up.

“Good.”

She nods, averting her gaze as she bits on her bottom lip. You two watch the game before you.

(Eventually, these little small talks turn into full-on hangouts on Fridays with the guys tagging along. And maybe, maybe your assumptions were wrong, after all.)

━━━━━━━━━━━━

“I can’t believe we’ve made it.” You sniffle into your sleeve as you hold tightly onto the tube with the graduation certificate in it. The school gymnasium is teeming with sweaty bodies of graduates, holding onto their own tubes. Everyone’s chattering so loud it makes your head turn.

Oikawa nudges your shoulder and with a blinding smile says, “We really did, L/N-san.”

You grin and turn your body to him, catching him off-guard as you hug his middle, fake-sniffling into his uniform. “Don’t pry my hands off, this is my love language.” Oikawa gasps but you can feel him lean into the embrace, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“Hey,” you lift your shoulder he’s resting his chin on. He hums in acknowledgement. “You did really well, Oikawa-san. I respect you so much, Oikawa-san. You have worked very hard-”

Oikawa jerks away from your warmth, holding you by your shoulders at an arm’s length. “You mean this, L/N-san?” He challenges you.

You flick his forehead. “Obviously not. Except the last part.”

Oikawa gets into a ranting mode as you look around the gymnasium, spotting numerous familiar faces. You send them a smile and a wave. On the other side of the gym, you spot Iwaizumi with his girlfriend by his side. Their arms are locked as they converse with Matsukawa and Hanamaki.

You notice the way Iwaizumi snakes an arm around her waist, probably trying to keep her as close as possible. Ah yeah, of course. Iwaizumi has always been a little too overprotective when it came to the people he cared for. You smile upon the fact; he was a bit too good for this world, although it might not seem so to strangers. But that was the beauty of it all, how only you — among the others he cared for— could see his true colors.

“L/N?” You look up. “Are you sure you’re fine? I mean it makes me really sad just seeing you so… sullen.” The tears are pricking your eyes. Why is Oikawa being like this?

“Tooru, I hate you so much.” You grab onto his jacket as he instinctually grabs a hold of your shoulders, slamming you against his chest. “Why are you like this.”

He tsks, “No, why are you like this?”

You let yourself indulge in the warmth and comfort of his embrace, tuning the world out for a second. “Thank you for the years. I mean it.”

“Now, now, why are you such a sap? Look,” he points behind you, “Mattsun and Makki are here!”

You scramble away from his hold, patting at your uniform as you pretend everything prior to this was just a hallucination, an illusion. “You two, can you believe this? L/N is so emotional it makes me cry, too.”

You grumble in embarrassment. “Let me be. I do have the right to be emotional. How are you not crying? You won’t get to see me anymore.”

Hanamaki joins the conversation. “I think that’s why none of us are crying.” Oikawa barks a laugh as he steadies himself on Hanamaki’s shoulder. You turn to Matsukawa, expecting some sort of back-up. “I mean, he didn’t lie…”

You pout. “Betrayal.”

“I knew you always had a favorite!” Hanamaki exclaims with his arms crossed over his chest. Oikawa stops laughing, already rolling his sleeves up, albeit unsuccessfully. “Unbelievable. I thought we didn’t play favorites?”

“We don’t!” You exclaim with as much rage.

Matsukawa steps into your personal space as he engulfs you in a bear hug, carding his fingers through your hair. “What are you doing?”

“You don’t have to lie to them,” Matsukawa says as he too-sweetly smiles at the remaining boys.

“Scandalous,” Oikawa says, hands already clenched in fists by his side. Hanamaki catches him by his middle. “Losers.”

You snake your hands into the inside of Matsukawa’s jacket and tickle him. “Ow,” He jerks away from you and sends you a glare. You only smile in return.

“You know,” Hanamaki starts, “you have never given me a hug.”

You widen your eyes because first of all, he’s absolutely right and second of all, why did he have the need to say it out loud and so… straightforwardly? Does he have no shame? You also hate the fact that your brain tends to short-circuit every time someone’s being too explicit and your body reacts a tad faster before you can realize it - naturally, your cheeks redden and you bring the tube to your cheeks to soothe the redness that is not going away. “Takahiro, shut!”

He shrugs. “For real, Oikawa hugs you like, all the time. Matsukawa does, too, which is surprising,” Matsukawa yells ‘Hey, I can be nice!’ , “and god, don’t get me started on Iwaizumi.

It’s as if Oikawa was made for this. His ears perk up at the mention of his childhood friend as he wiggles his eyebrows at you. “What?” You roll your eyes, wishing for some silence, freedom, ‘get me out of here’s.

“You were saying, huh?” Oikawa leans into Hanamaki, their shoulders bumping. “Get off me, you creep.”

Oikawa has this whole ‘lost-puppy-in-the-streets’ look going on and you almost give in to the temptation to comfort him. But bruh, nah, he’s a big boy. “Anyway back to our Iwaizumi!

“We all know he’s not affectionate, right, he’d punch us in the guts and say something like, I don’t hate y’all. But!” You flinch upon the raised voice. “When it comes to our not-that best and not-that impressive and stupid and dumb—”

“We get it!” You say, looking awfully bothered by it (not that it actually bothered you, haha, nope).

“He’s kinda soft. It’s totally different with his girlfriend but yeah.”

The rest of you eye each other. This was so not happening. “Did you just analyze this whole meaningless shit,” Matsukawa deadpans.

“Had to justify my lack of L/N Hugs.”

You slap your forehead. “Hanamaki, what the fuck even--” In that exact moment, you’re thrown in Hanamaki’s way, his arms instinctually wrapping themselves around your shoulders as you try stopping the momentum that could possibly make you both fall onto the hard, stepped-on by not-clean shoes and totally not-dusty ground.

“Is this a new way of hugging or something?” A voice asks from behind you and Hanamaki in each other’s awkward embrace. There stands Iwaizumi with his girlfriend by his side, an ever-so-wide smile strewn across their faces. “At least I got my hug.” Hanamaki unwraps his arms around you, completely disregarding you as he drops you to the ground.

“I feel so used.” You wipe at your metaphorical tear in the corner of your eye. As you’re about to hoist yourself up, a hand appears before you.

Without any second thoughts, you take it and with the person’s help, you lift yourself up from the ground. “Thanks, ‘Zumi.”

“Hm, you never gave me a nickname.” It sounds like he’s pondering over the words except he just accidentally said them out loud. You notice your friend group a feet away, chattering animatedly with other classmates, Iwaizumi’s girlfriend somewhere in the far corner chatting with her girl friends. Great, you two, just what you wanted.

You swear to god that you caught the three close friends of yours sending you unsubtle glances, making gestures, clowning, whatever. You shake your head.

“Something on your mind, L/N?” You divert your gaze to the ground. After all this time, why does your heart skip a beat faster whenever you’re the only ones around?

“I,” you start, fiddling with your fingers, the tube safely tucked under your arm. “I never got the chance to properly thank you for the years.”

Iwaizumi raises an eyebrow. A second, two, three pass by. He’s waiting. “Uh,” you straighten your back and hold the tube with both of your hands to stop them from shaking so damn much. At this point they could become engines with which you could drive around the neighborhood. “I told the guys already,” you point at them with your thumb, “so don’t feel special or anything.”

He smiles and that encourages you to keep going. “Well, I don’t think you know but I’m like, the biggest fan of you.” He sends you a knowing look. Oh, so you’re a fan of him?

“Of you all. And I might not have shown it as much but it’s the truth. I can’t even imagine how hard you all must’ve worked to get where you are. Your strategies, your excellent thinking, your intelligence, your view on things - it’s all so impressive to me and I wanna let you know that whatever you’ll choose in the end, just know this high school time was crucial to your growth.”

Silence. Did you say something wrong? Maybe it’s taking him some time to absorb, digest the whole word vomit you just let out. What’s filtering anyway.

“L/N, you know,” Iwaizumi averts his eyes to the high ceiling, the sunlight smiling down on you two. “I don’t think you should be saying this to me.”

You shake your head. “I promise I’ve already told him and I’ll let him know later again, but now, this,” you gesture to the air between the two of you, “is about you so stop selling yourself short. I thought you were over this.”

Iwaizumi quirks his lips up in a half-smile, eyes sparkling with an emotion you could actually tell - gratefulness. “See, I didn’t lie when I said you were a good person.”

You shoot him one of your best smiles, “Could say the same about you, sir.”

“Hey, you two! You going?” Oikawa yells from the other side of the room, pointing at both of you. He’s nearing the exit with the rest of the third years, still facing you. You give him a thumbs up and the last thing you see is the undoubted significant smile that had no ulterior motives. “So, we going?” Iwaizumi points to the exit, the hall slowly but surely emptying each passing minute.

“You go ahead, I still have something left to do.” Iwaizumi looks suspicious but after relentless bickering, he gave up and said he’d be waiting outside, somewhere near the school, you’ll find him eventually.

As you’re left alone in the emptied gym, you cannot help but think of the times when you first got to know the guys that you now call your best friends.

Awkward, embarrassed, clueless.

You were reluctant to join, for: firstly, what did you know about volleyball? Secondly, you were really not looking for any friends, so how come it ended up the way you didn’t plan to, yet you were never more grateful? What would’ve happened had you not decided to join the volley club as a manager?

You’d like to believe you were in-one-way-or-another lucky. You never questioned your luck, never questioned your fate. You believed in the universe - although you knew it had a very obvious, blatant dislike to you. Ignoring all of that, you went with the flow.

People come and go. Friends come and go. You are aware.

These lingering feelings? It hurts.

It hurts but that’s only because you were never brave enough to let them out. This was a choice you could’ve chosen. You didn’t have to wait for a miracle to appear in front of you and make you say all the words you’d always felt too scared to say.

Hadn’t it been for Oikawa, Matsukawa and Hanamaki, would you have been able to even fall in love with Iwaizumi in the first place?

Right, you did attend the same class but would the bond have been as strong as it is now?

No matter what, Iwaizumi was a friend first and although it hurts, you need to move on. One way or another.

“C’mon, L/N! We won’t get to any food if we dilly-dally any longer!” Iwaizumi shouts to you from the other side and you bite your lip to prevent the megawatt smile from spreading across your face.

It hurts.

It hurts so much, but the least you can do is to cherish him in the ways you can.

Cherish him as a friend.

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akayoko · 3 years

Text

nights like these

summary: kenma falls asleep in the backseat of kuroo’s car while he waits for the two of you to finish shopping

a/n: just some soft SLEEPY kenma for the soul,, i actually listened to cavetown while writing this, hug all ur friends really made me feel things but it also inspired me a lot hehe please enjoy cuz i had a lot of fun writing this :)

pairing: kenma x gender neutral reader (and kuroo kind of, but mostly kenma)

genre: fluff!

warnings: none

word count: 1.6k

it’s another one of those nights, accompanied by muffled giggles and random banter bouncing off the walls of your cramped apartment. humming a random melody as you hold a warm cup of tea close to your chest, you lean back on the couch, glancing at your friends’ softly illuminated faces under the dim lights. closing your eyes, you listen to kuroo’s remarks at the movie you chose as he clings on to a tired kenma lying between the two of you. i could do this for an eternity, you think, inhaling the delicate scent of the chamomile tea between your palms.

“he is SO dense,” he exhales dramatically, sipping on his drink. “she obviously likes him!”

you laugh at his antics as you snuggle closer to kenma, both you and kuroo making sure to keep him warm and shower him with the love and affection he deserves. he claims he hates the kisses you occasionally place to the top of his head, but he never pushes either of you away. even if he does, he never means it anyway.

“stop that,” he mumbles when kuroo tries to boop his nose.

when he actually pulls away, kenma turns to frown at him, just as if he didn't reject him mere seconds ago. it's a lovely sight.

in the middle of the movie, you reach for the chips only to realize you have finished the third and last bag that night. kuroo looks at you knowingly, and in the blink of an eye, he’s unwrapping kenma from the pile of blankets, telling him you are going for a drive.

kenma of course protests, but you’re persistent. you grab him by the hand, promising you will cuddle him later if he comes along with kuroo and you, to which he scoffs.

“you think that’s enough to convince me?” he grumbles.

“i see you’re already putting your jacket on,” you throw his socks at him. “i think i have my answer.”

you leave the store with bags full of snacks and kuroo by your side, enjoying the crisp air biting at your cheeks. you take a deep breath as you look up at the sky sown with stars, admiring the numerous constellations adorning it. dragging your feet against the concrete, you wish you could stay in this parking lot longer. the tranquil midnight darkness reminds you to relax your shoulders, finding reassurance in the way the gloomy hues seem to engulf your senses.

a faint sound of a car honking in the distance wakes you up from your trance, bringing your attention back to the gentle winter breeze. you sigh as you watch the broken street lights flicker, barely illuminating the vehicles driving under them. midnight trips to the store have always been your favorite, and you’re more than happy you get to spend them with the people you love the most.

“bet kenma’s fallen asleep,” kuroo chuckles, breaking the comforting silence.

“you think so?” you giggle, turning your attention to your friend. the truth is, you did manage to get kenma in the car after you had somehow established a middle ground. he however refused to enter the store, saying two people were more than enough to get food. you decided not to push him anymore given the fact that he was right, so you left him in the backseat of kuroo’s car.

actually, one of the reasons he wanted to stay home was the fact that both kuroo and you were very indecisive when it came to choosing snacks, and he wanted to avoid the trouble of mindlessly walking through the store longer than necessary. so, when you tell him you won’t take too long, he doesn’t believe you one bit.

rightfully so, you think to yourself when you get to the trunk of the car and check the time, realizing that almost an hour has passed. you feel the guilt stinging at your stomach so you place the bags on the ground and ask kuroo to put them in the trunk for you.

you peak through the window to wave at kenma, only to notice that he was sprawled on the backseat of the car. just as kuroo predicted mere seconds ago, he had indeed dozed off. you grin as you tell kuroo to be quiet when entering the car, to which he laughs, realizing what happened.

you do your best to close the door behind you as silently as it is possible for, well, a car door, turning around to look at the boy you oh so adored. his lips are slightly parted, emitting soft snores, and you can’t help but notice how uncomfortable he seems in that position. just as you are about to take your jacket off to cover his shivering body, he shifts in his seat, raising his head to analyze his surroundings. when he recognizes the interior of kuroo’s car he rolls his eyes, letting his head fall again.

“hi, kenma,” you wave at him, flashing him a soft smile. “i woke you up, i’m s-”

“can you come here?” he cuts you off, meeting your eyes for a second before looking away. “i’m, uh, kind of cold.”

he doesn’t need to ask twice. you immediately move despite the urge to tease him, since this side of him was definitely not something a person could see every day. you love him too much for that, though, unable to bring yourself to make fun of him when you see the way he fiddles with his fingers. his lips are pressed in a thin line, and he looks just a tad too small in his oversized jacket. perhaps he’s blushing too, but the darkness doesn’t allow you to notice it.

the moment you step foot outside the car, kuroo finishes what seems to have been a phone call, placing his hand over his chest when you reach for the doorknob of the rear door.

his eyes widen. “you’re leaving me all by myself-“

“shut up,” you snort at him, moving quickly to sit beside kenma who has straightened himself up to make space for you. resting his head against the window, he flinches when kuroo enters the car, slamming the door shut.

you stare at him, to which he shrugs. “what? he’s up.”

ignoring his response, you extend your hand towards kenma as an invitation to your arms. he takes it only for a brief moment, before placing his head on your lap, turning his back to you. your hand immediately travels to his hair, the other rubbing his back. “sorry we’re late,” you murmur, squishing his arm.

it’s nights like these that allow kenma to let loose, relishing the familiarity of your scent. a fuzzy feeling travels all the way to his fingertips, which completes itself the moment you link your hand with his. he lets his eyes close shut, the sound of the mellow radio tune lulling him to sleep. what’s that perfume you’re wearing? it’s comforting.

somehow, everything clicks for him. he tries to recall the last time he felt this way, and he huffs when he can’t remember.

you hold his cheek before tucking his hair behind his ear, and he hums against your touch. “aren’t you uncomfortable like this?” you ask. kenma doesn’t respond, which leads you to assume he’s drifted off to sleep.

your question resonates in his ears just scarcely, that being the last thing he hears before his grip on your hand grows weaker, proving your assumptions right.

you turn to look outside the window, counting every lamp post you drive by. this time you can’t see the stars but you know they’re out there, shining in their full glory. you’re not certain if it’s because of the heating kuroo has turned on, or maybe because of kenma’s steady breathing on your lap, but keeping your eyes open gradually turns into a chore and you’re quickly nodding off, too; your heartbeat slowing down to reach a steady pace. you run your tongue over your dry lips as you part them to ask kuroo if he has a bottle of water somewhere in the car, but he doesn’t respond. wait, did you ask him anything at all in the first place?

the rest of the night is a blur; the only part you remember is kuroo practically dragging you out of the car and into the apartment, complaining about how lame his friends are.

he doesn’t let it go the following morning either as he taunts you at the dining table, claiming that falling asleep so early in the night wasn’t a part of the plan.

“let’s discuss the movie, shall we? oh right, we can’t, i forgot you two fell asleep again as soon as we opened the snacks.”

he’s exaggerating, yes, but you still apologize and lean over to give him a hug, when both your and kenma’s phones light up simultaneously. you pull away, glancing at the groggy boy as he idly rubs his eyes in the seat across you, freezing in his spot abruptly.

you reach for the napkin to wipe your hands as you hastily unlock your phone, only to be greeted by a picture of you and kenma sleeping in the car, your hand placed on his back as the other one supports your head against the window. kenma is curled up with his head on your lap, his hands resting close to his chest.

kuroo snickers at the scene unraveling in front of him, waiting for a response from either of you. kenma’s ears heat up at the sound of you chuckling, eyes boring into the wall behind you. you tilt your head just enough to catch them, playfully snapping your fingers in front of his face.

“kenma i might be wrong, but i think you’re blushing,” kuroo chimes, propping his chin on his hand.

you turn off your phone, lightly kicking kenma’s legs under the table. “we look cute though, don’t we?”

“if you say so.”

“call me crazy, but i think i’m kind of third-wheeling right now.”

“you definitely are.”

#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#kenma x reader #kenma x you #kenma x y/n #kenma fluff #kenma scenario #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #kenma

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darkhymns-fic · 3 years

Text

Of Firsts and Seconds and Thirds

They shared their first kiss underneath the shade of a church, their second at the top of a windy mountain, their third in the quiet solitude of a dwarf's home.

But how many more until the guilt finally leaves?

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters/Pairing: Lloyd Irving/Colette Brunel Rating: T Mirror Link: AO3 Notes: For Colloyd Week, Day 3: First Kiss / Confession! Not much to say about this except that I've already written too many versions of their first kisses so I struggled with this one for a bit... Hopefully, it reads okay! Slightly higher rating because I wanted to be self-indulgent.

They shared their first kiss underneath a crooked awning of the temple, situated to the side where half of it was covered by the mountain’s shade, frayed banners picked up by the wind.

It was further away from the steep stairs that was overgrown with grass stalks, with moss that climbed in-between the cracks, making it far too easy to slip. And of course, Colette had done so when she left for her church lessons, only saved from a complete fall by Lloyd’s reflexes, even as his own boots almost sent them tumbling across the top steps. Only fifteen, but his own motions at least held more surety, his arms holding her up high.

Colette had scraped her knee, biting her lip to keep out a small whine from the sharp sting. Lloyd resumed the climb up the stairs, feeling quick relief when they arrived at the top and there were no nosy priests in sight, only the cool shadows over them. “How do you go up this every day without falling?” he asked, his smile sneaking through. “Good thing I came to walk with you.”

“I don’t usually slip here,” she had said. “Not unless…” And it was soft and quiet, her words traveling just underneath his ear as he carried her. The shade was comfortable, and he had only meant to set her down for a moment before finding his lips brushing against her own. Her hair tickled his forehead, and her hands reached to wrap around his shoulders, the way they always did whenever he’d swing her up in his arms as he helped her get on top of Noishe to ride.

The shade held them close, even as he felt a sliver of the sun rise to meet his neck. His hands moved to grip her waist – to keep her steady? Or himself? – before she stepped away.

“S-Sorry,” she said, looking away. Behind her was another entrance to the temple, a place where the candles hadn’t been lit inside, where no windows had been placed, the hallway dark. “Sorry, thank you. I mean… thank you for carrying me!”

Her voice was full of guilt. It made no sense to him. And yet she smiled all the same.

He was too late to say anything before she rushed inside the temple, her scrape forgotten, her hair moving as quick as the waves bathed in sunlight. Lloyd thought about following her, but he didn’t know the way inside the temple. That and the priests always turned him away, always made him feel so badly for wanting the Chosen to come outside with him to walk alongside the shore.

“What’s with you?” Genis had asked once Lloyd came back to the schoolhouse. “Colette rejected you coming along this time?” The boy had meant it as a joke, already laughing in his seat. But even he noticed the somber look in Lloyd’s face, how he collapsed into his chair.

“Uh huh…” was all he would say, tucking his head against his folded arms on the desk. The lesson conducting ahead of him was nothing but white noise as he went over the kiss again and again. He could only remember the feel of her hands on his shoulders, and how closely she had brought him in.

They shared their second kiss in Hima, after Colette asked him to follow her to the top of the cliff.

Hima was such a small village, smaller even then Iselia, with only its inn clearly seen from the entrance, while other structures and homes were placed at lower levels of the mountain. Lloyd felt the wind tug at his coat the higher he climbed, shivering and noticing through every step how Colette didn’t flinch at each gust at all.

Her broken necklace still in his pocket, he watched as she reached for his hand. He had taken off his gloves, wanting to understand her as easily as he could. “Can I…ask a…favor?” Lloyd blinked as he read aloud, raising his eyes to her. “What is it?”

At times, he thought he’d hear something from her – or maybe it was just wishful thinking. But the way she smiled reminded him of her laughter, the quick and playful comments she’d make about him, all of it uplifting and warm. Her fingers curled inside his palm, and when she traced them next, it was, at first, just to follow the lines across his hand, until…

Can you forgive me for hurting you?

Maybe, perhaps, he should have denied it outright. But her words brought a quick flash of certain things that stung his heart; her letter in his hands, the brush of her fingers when she took the coffee from him and smiled all the while, the shade of the mountain as she leaned towards him.

Lloyd was too late to hide it, and Colette bit her lip, tracing in his hand once more. That’s selfish of me.

“Wait, no, it’s not.” Lloyd gripped her hands, but lightly, because he still wanted to hear her words. “That’s not fair to you… after everything you’ve gone through.”

Colette smiled and it was painful in its shape, in the way it was so close to him. Her fingers again in his palm, their touch feather-light. And because it was so light, he scrunched his forehead as he focused on it, the constant wind on the mountaintop forever trying to distract him with its pull on his clothes, with its sound in his ears.

“I’ll just…k…keep… Agh, sorry it’s hard now…” Even when Colette finished writing, he tried to remember the shapes she made, painting herself into his touch. “Keep…hurting…you…”

He paused. Colette lowered her face just a bit, yet he could hear the cadence of her breathing. “I don’t really understand..”

When she leaned in to kiss him for a second time, was it really that bad to be selfish, to ask something from another so carefully, both hope and fear inside of you all at once?

Her lips were gentle, fitting over his, and maybe Lloyd was more clumsy, more self-conscious than last time, but her hair still tickled him. He might have kissed her for the rest of the night if the cold didn’t keep trying to freeze his hands.

“Colette…” he whispered, letting go for just a moment. Only later would he feel the guilt, when he realized she wasn’t able to feel it, any of it, along with the biting wind surrounding them. How was that even fair at all?

But she smiled again, hands gripping his own to lead them back down the mountain to the others.

Even then, she gave him back a piece of something he had felt missing since that summer day, with the banner of the temple fluttering next to them. She had chosen that, and he couldn’t bring himself to deny her that one freedom left to her.

They shared their third kiss at Altessa’s, the night sky numerous with stars, and his present held lightly between her fingers.

“Colette?” Lloyd called out from the front door, having found her bed empty, and the snores of Genis much too overpowering. “You’re still up?”

The old fear of the angelic sickness came back, but he saw her try to hide a yawn that didn’t look forced. She sat on a nearby wooden bench, boots making indents in the dirt. “I’m okay,” she said, and he was only half-convinced, her smile just barely seen through the moonlight. “I can sleep, I just don’t know if I want to yet.”

Maybe that should have been enough, along with the way she kept flicking her gaze to him when he went to sit beside her, then back to the skies. On nights like these, she would trace the patterns of the stars with him, and in Tethe’alla, he could already tell such patterns here were different. They’d have to start all over again, but he didn’t mind, just as he didn’t mind being out in the late night, as long as he could be with her.

The path to Altessa’s house was plain, and only to the side could he see the storage of the dwarf placed near the wall of his home, in wooden crates and clay pots. “You know, I wonder if this is how dad used to live…” he said absently. “Though he said his home was more underground.”

“Do you think he still has it? His old home, I mean?” Colette’s eyes sparkled at the idea, pulling out a grin from him. “Maybe we can ask to go visit it!”

“We could! But it probably has low ceilings… We’d be hitting our heads the entire time.”

“Then can you protect my head with yours? Genis always says you have the toughest head around!”

“Heh, well, I am tough… Hey, wait, I don’t think that’s a compliment!”

When she laughed, it was radiant almost. A sound that wasn’t filtered or dimmed, that seemed to shine all the brighter when she reached to take his hand. Her thumb brushed over his Exsphere, sending a warm tingle through him, and it made him think, made him want on that word, on selfishness.

Yet as Lloyd debated with himself, Colette had shifted close, leaning in to kiss his cheek. Soft. Sudden. I’ve missed this.

He knew it had been an instinctive thing from her. For it was just the moment her lips left his cheek did he see the change in her eyes. She held her hand loosely, unsure. “I’m…sorry? That just happened…I…”

It took everything in him to not sigh then.

“You’re so stupid,” he whispered, gripping her hand, bringing her close. And she didn’t turn away, even as he kissed her – but over her forehead, her skin warm over his lips. The wind brought in the scent of her hair, strands of them brushing his cheeks. “Why wouldn’t I want that from you?”

Colette opened her mouth, then closed it, one hand reaching for the necklace and pulling on it gently, the chain crinkling and turning in on itself. “I just… I just keep making mistakes with this…” A quick blink, and she looked to the floor. “I’m taught to not want it… but I did and so that’s why I ran and… and then I was selfish and took your kiss again when I couldn’t feel anything… and I really wanted to…”

Lloyd saw how the moonlight fell down her cheek – and so he followed it, kissing her skin there and hearing her take in a breath. Lingering, all as his hands moved to encircle her. “But you can feel that now, can’t you?”

Colette closed her eyes, leaning her head against his chest. Her lips rested against the base of his throat. “I can feel…too much…” But she didn’t sound distressed – she sounded eager, excited, and yet also content as she pressed against him.

Was there something else in him to then want to kiss her fully, to give her all that had been taken away? Maybe his own selfishness too, but he waited. He just embraced her instead, giving small kisses to her forehead, her cheek, and even the tip of her nose. It made her giggle, eliciting a smile from him. Only later, after more tickling kisses did he kiss her lips, and only when she raised her head to his.

He hoped she would never have to feel that old guilt again.

They shared their fourth kiss, their fifth, sixth, seventh – all continuing as if on a chain that Lloyd was keen to follow. In Flanoir, for why wouldn’t be drawn to kissing her the moment she gently placed the figurine in his hands, her fingers shaking through not only the cold? He saw the fine edges of snowflakes as he leaned in, caught on her eyelashes, drifting back into the air as she lowered them halfway.

In Heimdall, as the moon rose, as fireflies danced around them, promising her a world that they’d never have to be alone again. It was easier to kiss now, to fall into the rhythms of her laughter after each press of his lips against skin.

In Iselia, as he lifted her onto Noishe with him, ready to set off down the road. The kiss she gave him had been so second-nature, that he rarely even thought on it even happening. Just the warmth that was left with him, and the urge to kiss her in return, so that this time, he could fully remember it.

And it was only in their seventh kiss did he finally realize he had never told her that he loved her.

It happened after they had set up camping for the night, the travels of the day weighing down his arms. He could barely set up their sleeping blankets, sighing out the exhaustion from his mouth. Colette had gone to put away their packs safely, and so he was left to this one simple task that he had done dozens of times, all to the crackles of their campfire.

His first thought was that it was just too hot, that the summer heat was quickly burning up what little energy he had, leaving him to sink. So how could he fix that? “I’ll just take this off,” he mumbled and nodded to himself. Hands that could barely roll out the blankets couldn’t unbutton that much better, but eventually he succeeded, throwing the jacket onto the grass, with his undershirt following quick.

A moment of pure relief as he stretched and felt the cool air at his bare back – and then heard the soft giggle just to his side.

“If you were hot, we could have stayed at an inn.”

Not like he didn’t expect Colette to be here, but maybe the heat really had been getting to him. He laughed nervously, knowing that this wasn’t any different to being dressed like he was going to the beach. Except this wasn’t a beach, and no body of water that size was anywhere near them. He turned to see her standing just a few feet away, arms behind her back, a great smile on her face. “The nearest inn is way too far. And I’m just a little bit hot!”

“Oh, I see.” Colette nodded, and knelt next to him to help unroll the last remaining wrinkle of the blankets. “Then maybe we should have camped at Flanoir.”

“But then it would have been way too cold…” he weakly argued.

“Hm, couldn’t we warm each other up?” she asked him, and there was something eager in the way she said it. He looked at her, at how her knees touched his, eyes on his face – with the occasional flicker at his chest. “Kisses are warm.”

Different, because even as he felt the flush on his cheeks, there was a turn in Colette’s voice that was more confident. The way she didn’t really take her eyes away to the side, how her smile never wavered. Lloyd scratched the back of his head. “Are you just asking me to kiss you now?”

“Hm…” Colette visibly pondered, then moved closer to him, so close that her hair tickled along the front of his torso. “Yeah. I want you to kiss me.”

The wind rushed against him, making him shiver just a bit. “Ah… shouldn’t I dress first?”

Colette tilted her head slightly. “Do you need to?”

He took that as a gentle way of Colette saying, Please not yet.

With a smile, he shifted closer. “Okay,” he said, relaxing, making sure that this was truly okay as he leaned forward. Her lips met his, no longer as hesitant as their other ones, falling quicker into the rhythm as if it were a dance. He felt Colette move in closer, a hand pressing just against the center of his chest.

The touch was nearly electric, making him gasp a little into her mouth before pulling away softly. “Sorry, having…trouble breathing a little.” From the hard day of traveling they had, or because of her touch? It was difficult to say.

Colette hummed thoughtfully, the same hand on his chest trailing up towards his collarbone. “Would it be better if I kissed you?”

In their first kiss, she had reached for him. Maybe only just now did he realize something, but he simply nodded, feeling the tingle on his skin where she touched. “I wouldn’t complain,” he teased.

But as the campfire slowly dwindled, as he expected her lips to find his own again – she instead leaned somewhere else. Mouth pressed against the center of his chest, right at the small dip where a pendant would usually find its place. Lloyd shuddered, a small sound leaving his throat, but didn’t pull away.

It was true that he wasn’t going to complain, but he was still surprised. “T-That tickled!” he could only say, wincing at his own words.

Colette raised her eyes to him. “So, would it be better here?” she asked, and then lifted herself up on her knees to reach him – placing her mouth against his neck, a soft kiss that made his pulse flutter just against it.

“C-Colette..” he whispered, one hand gripping her own, entwining their fingers. “Colette… I’m already really warm..”

“Oh… that’s right.” Colette giggled against his throat, her smile felt on his skin. He surrendered to her kisses over his chin, then back down, just to the top of his chest. “So it’s too much?”

Lloyd shook his head, arms embracing her, clinging tight. “I love you,” he said, the words finally imprinting in his head. How long had they done this, had they traveled, and he had never even said such words to her? “I love you so much, Colette.”

Her lips kissed his earlobe, then his cheek, until she reached his mouth, her hands tracing patterns against his bare chest. Just a few months back, she would have been too shy for any of this at all. “I love you…too… Ah!”

He wasn’t sure how she fell, but she did right on top of him, his arms instinctively clutching at her coat to keep her near. Laughter spilled from both, his back fully hitting the dry, slightly pointy grass instead of the soft sleeping blankets. “You dork!” he said, unable to stop laughing, unable to stop kissing her, his own lips traveling from her mouth to her neck. “Such a dork, I love you…”

“I…do too! Ah, it really does tickle though!”

Still, he thought back to that warm day at the temple, how hesitant and shy – but how she had kissed him first. Even from back then, she had always wanted to share it with him.

Worries and regrets can leave, little by little, and each kiss seemed to chase them away, replaced with something else. I love you, he thought, as her lips took his, knowing he would never get tired of such a thing, like the feel of the sun on his face, or the refreshing breeze from a nearby sea.

#tales of symphonia #lloyd irving #colette brunel #colloyd #colloydweek2021 #fanfiction #one shot

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animeyanderelover · 3 years

Note

Can I ask number 31 to Timber, Thompson ja Canterbury?

Timber...Thompson...and Canterbury. *fainting*

Warnings: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, delusions, manipulation, isolation, punishment, Stockholm syndrome, paranoid reader

Prompt 31: “Just remember that I’m never going to leave you. That’s a promise.”

It was dark. Dark and cold. The shadows that were visible seemed like dark and bloodthirsty monsters to you which were stretching out their claws to pierce your skin. How long had you spent in this room? You didn’t know, you only knew that it had been too long. What had you done so wrong? The only thing you had done was resisting them what every normal human would have done in your situation when finding out that they had three lovesick demons after them. It had been so easy for them to catch you and no matter how much you had struggled, they had carried you deep into the forest, bringing you into a small house where they had declared you would live in for now. Who wouldn’t have pushed them away whenever they tried to force some affection on you? Who wouldn’t have tried to run away? But now that the lack of sleep was pulling onto your brain, your stomach was growling because your last meal had been hours ago and that even the slightest noise made you jump up in panic you regretted ever doing this. How could you have ever been so stupid to reject them? They had only wanted to love you! If they would be here with you they could protect you from the creatures lurking in the shadows. They could hold you and whisper that everything was alright. But they didn’t and it was all your fault.

You jumped up and yelled scared when you suddenly heard something behind you. You didn’t know if your overtired brain was playing a joke on you, but you could have sworn that you had heard whispering in the darkest corner of your room. And then it happened. You felt a hand, cold like ice, grabbing your leg. That’s when you lost it. You stormed to the locked door, hammering against it. “Let me out!!! Please let me out!!! Help me!!!! Timber!!!! Thompson!!!! Canterbury!!!! HELP ME!!” You hit the door with your fists like crazy, your overtired brain screaming things at you that you weren’t able to process. At first you didn’t even realize when the door suddenly opened and it wasn’t the door you hammered against, but a chest. You stopped hitting around when you suddenly heard three voices asking:”(y/n)!!! What’s wrong darling?” You slowly started looking up, tears starting to drip down your face when you realized that Timber, Thompson and Canterbury were standing right in front of you, their red eyes looking worriedly at you. You couldn’t remember to have ever felt that relieved in your life. The first thing that you did was jumping in the arms of the brother that was the closest to you which happened to be Thompson. “G-guys! Th-thanks goddess that you’re he-here now. I-I was so sc-scared.”, you cried into his chest. You felt him quickly tighten his grip around you and the next moment you felt him kissing the top of your head gently, shortly joined by the lips of Timber and Canterbury. You couldn’t remember to have ever felt that greedy for someone’s touches and comforts, feeling like you were in heaven when feeling their lips traveling over your skin and hearing their hushed comforts.

“I-it was terrible in th-there. I-I haven’t s-slept for s-so long! I couldn’t! N-not with tho-those monsters in the r-room!” You buried your head into Timber’s chest and let your tears fall freely. The brothers had brought you out of the room as quickly as possible, bringing you into the kitchen to make you some tea to calm down. But you had refused to be left alone, crying for at least one of them to stay with you. So Timber had sat down with you on the couch whilst the other two had prepared you a small meal. Currently all four of you were cuddling together. You were on Timber’s lap and Thompson and Canterbury were on the left and right from you. You were wrapped up in three pairs of arms and felt safer than ever before in your life. “There are no monsters in that room (y/n).” Timber whispered into your ear. “B-but they felt so real! I could even-even hear their voices an-and feel their touches!” Even thinking about that now made you shiver in pure fear and you pressed yourself closer to Timber. You felt one of the brothers caressing your hair softly. “You don’t need to be scared anymore. We’re here for you now.”, Canterbury told you in a gentle tone. His voice sounded heavenly and you got goosebumps from the sensation of his lips near your ear. How could you have been so blind all the time? How could you have not realized how beautiful they were? How perfect they were? You were so thankful that they hadn’t thrown you away after you had acted so bratty towards them. What would you have done if they did? You were sure that you would have died with all the scary things out there. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”, you repeated over and over again. “For what are you sorry dear?”, Thompson asked you. “I’m sorry for being so ungrateful. Please forgive me. I’ll never do it again. Just don’t leave me!” “We won’t. We won’t leave our love.”, all three of them said. Your heart started fluttering in your chest. They loved you! You didn’t deserve them, they were too good for you! “I love you too.”

“No! I don’t want to sleep alone! I can’t! Please sleep with me!” You clinged onto them for dear life, refusing to let go of them. After a long and nice bath where they had cleaned you up and you had been able to calm down a bit they had brought you to your bedroom so you could finally get the sleep that you needed. But when they had suddenly started walking away and you had realized that they planned to leave you alone in the darkness you had instantly stormed towards them and clinged onto their waists. “I-I understand that you have probably other things to do, but please! At least one of you! Stay with me!” You had bursted out into tears once again, not willing to endure another night in the horrible darkness with the evil that was waiting for you inside the shadows. For a short moment the brothers glanced at each other before Canterbury stepped forwards and lifted you up in his arms. “I’ll stay with you. Is that alright?” What was that even for a question?! You couldn’t have been happier that he had decided to stay with you!! You quickly wrapped your arms around his neck, basking in the feeling of him holding you so closely. For a short moment Timber and Thompson looked almost jealous before nodding in agreement. “Good night darling.” They gave you a quick peek on your lips and then left you alone with Canterbury who had layed you in your bed and was tugging you gently into the sheets before joining you. You immediately clinged onto him, shaking when glancing with your eyes swiftly into every corner of your room. You couldn’t see or hear anything, but you knew that they were just waiting for a vulnerable moment of you where they could attack you. But when you felt Canterbury wrapping his arms around you and feeling his body against yours you kind of calmed down.

“Shh... I’m here for you. Nothing will harm you.” You looked up to see his face, his eyes having turned pink. There had been a time when you had been scared of those eyes because it had reminded you every single time that your captors weren’t humans. But now you couldn’t remember to have ever seen such beautiful eyes, seeing the deep love that was shining inside of them. All of the brothers had this look in their eyes when they looked at you. You had been so dumb for never seeing that before. “You can close your eyes. I promise that nothing will be able to touch you. You trust me, right?” You nodded eagerly. “Yes Canterbury. I trust you.” You felt a warm feeling shooting through you when you saw his happy smile. You quickly snuggled closer to him, wanting to be as close to him as possible. And that was the first time in a while where you were able to sleep safely and soundly whilst feeling Canterbury placing soft kisses all over you and whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

When you woke up you felt much more better, having finally gotten some much needed sleep. But your relief only lasted for a short moment because suddenly you noticed that you didn’t feel Canterbury’s arms around you anymore. You immediately shot up and looked panicked next to you. He wasn’t there! “Timber? Thompson? Canterbury?” No answer was heard. They always came when you called them! Why weren’t they coming?! “Timber!Thompson! Canterbury!” Still no answer. You started to panic and jumped out of the bed, slipping on the floor before quickly standing up and storming downstairs with only one goal in mind. Finding the triplets! “Timber!! Thompson!! Canterbury!!” You ripped every door open, hoping to find them in there. But there was no trace of them. Tears flowed out of your eyes and your breath was shaking. They weren’t in the house! Did they leave you?! But they promised you yesterday to stay by your side!! They had said that they loved you!! Had that been a lie?! Did they leave you because they had been angry with you?! You couldn’t bear the thought to be without them. You needed them!! By now you were turning around in circles in the dining room, your mind only spinning around the three boys. “Timber! Thompson! Canterbury! Timber! Thompson! Canterbury!”

“(y/n)!” You froze when you heard three voices calling your name and in the next moment you felt numerous pairs of arms wrapping themselves around you. Your brain needed a few moments to calm down enough to progress what had happened. As soon as it did you bursted out in even more tears, your knees feeling like jelly and their arms which were wrapped around you being the only reason why you hadn’t fallen to the floor yet. “Y-you’re here. W-where were you?” Your voice was barely above a whisper. “We apologize deeply for our stupidity. We needed to finish some business together. We thought you would sleep a bit longer.”, they apologized to you. You were still trembling, but your breathing started to calm down a bit when you felt their lips placing soft kisses against your skin. “Please just take me with you the next time you have to leave. But don’t leave me on my own.” You clinged onto them with a tight grip. “Never leave me again. I was so scared. Please promise me that you’ll never leave me again.” You felt their hot breathing hitting your neck. “Just remember that I’m never going to leave you. That’s a promise.”, all three of them whispered simultaneously. “Just tell us your wishes and we’ll fulfill all of them.” There was something that you really wanted at the moment. “Please say it again. Say that you love me.”, you begged quietly. “We love you more than anything (y/n).”

#yandere black butler #yandere kuroshitsuji #yandere triplets #yandere timber #yandere thompson #yandere canterbury

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bunnybaby-bokuto · 3 years

Text

Since highschool

You had been avoiding your best friend for over a week now. You couldn't face him, you didn't trust yourself near him. Everytime you saw him youre eyes wondered his body and you felt yourself losing control, it took all your will power not to just pounce on him. You couldn't let that happen. You knew you were risking your friendship. You knew if you lost him you'd regret it forever, but you also knew if he rejected you it would be much worse than any regret you could possibly feel.

He was sick of it. What did he do wrong? Nothing he could think of. Did you finally see all that was wrong with him? We're you disgusted by him? He was no longer bothered by what strangers think of him but you were a different story. How could he exist without you? He didn't know. It had been a week and he no longer had the will to get up, let alone go to school or play volleyball. He couldn't even eat without getting sick, so he didn't. He just stayed in bed. Maybe he could handle it if he had known the reason you left him. He didn't though, and it tortured him.

It was now week two and you hadn't seen him in class or even gotten a text from him. Part of you was relieved but part of you couldn't help but worry. It had been to long since anyone had seen him. You couldn't bring yourself to call him so you called his other best friend.

"Ushiijima.. when was the last time you spoke to Satori?" The line was silent for a moment. You assumed he was thinking carefully to be sure of his answer.

"It has been a while. I believe it's been just over two weeks." You were even more worried now. Has he really not spoken to anyone since you stopped talking.

"Can I ask you for a favor?"

"Of course."

"Can you go to his house.. I'm worried about him. He hasn't been to school and I can't check on him." You were more thankful now than you had ever been that ushiijima wasn't nosey in the slightest.

"Alright. I will go later tonight." You sighed in relief.

"Thank you." You finished the call quickly after that and went back home. Even with as worried as you felt you couldn't go see him, even thinking about him made you want him, how could you handle being alone with him.

There was a knock on your door. You looked out the peephole before throwing the door open in alarm.

"Ushiijima!? What happened is Satori okay!?" He walked into your house uninvited which only worried you more. How bad was it that he would throw manners out the door.

"Why have you avoided him? What did he do?" Was he mad? It was hard to tell at first glance but his voice was stern and insistent, something you had never heard from him.

"He.. I mean.. he didn't do anything.. what is this about?" He took a step forward, now it was obvious he was mad. You flinched slightly, had anyone ever seen him mad? Even in highschool you had never heard so much as a rumor of him losing his temper.

"Then why." It was said as a demand rather than a question. You avoided his gaze, annoyed that he would ask something so personal.

"That's none of your concern." You didn't miss how he clinched his fist in frustration.

"Tell me." You glared at him, completely losing your own temper now.

"I said it's not of your business!!" His voice was strong and steady, insistent.

"Why have you been avoiding him?" What were you supposed to say? That you were so unbelievably attracted to your best friend that you physically couldn't restrain yourself around him any longer? That your feelings started in highschool and have never left but instead gotten stronger? You shouldn't tell him, he would just tell Tendou. Then again, at least you wouldn't have to, at least he wouldn't have to reject you directly this way. Maybe this could work..

"Fine.. you want to know so bad? I'm avoiding him because everytime I see him I feel sick at the fact that I can't touch him the way I want to. I feel sick that I can't show him how perfect he is. I feel sick that I can't do what I dream of. I feel sick at the fact that I can't even control myself around him anymore. I feel sick at the fact that I want nothing more than to climb on top of him and-!!!" You finally cut yourself off. You couldn't say that part. It would hurt to much. Ushiijima stared at you, you couldn't read his expression anymore but you assumed he was considering everything you had said.

"You should leave.." you opened the door and he nodded walking towards it. He paused and looked at you.

"Tendou has not eaten in three days. I forced him and he got sick after only a few bites. He's constantly sick now. He won't move on his own. He said he only wants to know why." You were crying by now as the realization hit you. You nodded and wiped your tears away. He stepped out the door and looked at you once more.

"Tell him." With that you closed the door and locked it before going back to bed.

You woke up to knocking. What time was it? It was pitch black outside. You looked at your phone and saw numerous missed calls from your former best friend. It was 3:26 am. You pulled the blanket over your head, put your headphones in, and turned your music all the way up, successfully blocking out the sounds of knocking. 2 and a half songs passed before your blanket was ripped off of you. You closed your eyes tightly. Why had you given him a key again? You felt him grab your arms and flip you onto your back, you didn't struggle much but you kept your eyes closed. Your headphones were pulled out.

"Look at me!!" He was mad. You cringed and quickly shook your head no, squeezing your eyes closed even tighter. He growled, yes growled, and grabbed your arms forcing them above your head. He climbed over you and straddled your waist. Even with your eyes shut so tightly tears still started to spill out. He was panting and you knew it was from anger. You had rarely seen him mad but you knew what happened when he was. You knew this was the maddest you'd ever seen or even known him to be. He was losing himself more the longer you ignored him.

"Look at me!!!" You flinched at his words but your eyes opened automatically. You could barely see him through your tears but the rage in his eyes was clear enough. You mumbled softly, voice trembling.

"I'm sorry.." tears fell from his eyes now and you couldn't stop the sob from escaping your lips at the sight. You did this. You ruined your friendship and now he was paying the price.

"Tell me the truth.. please.." his words had lost their venom now, desperation coating his voice. He let go or your arms and leaned back, still straddling you but now sitting up. You wiped your tears away and forced yourself to stop crying. He at least deserved this much.

"What do you want to know..?" He visibly relaxed, not completely but more than he had been.

"What did you mean.. Ushiijima said you told him you couldn't control yourself around me and it made you sick.." a quiet sob escaped him.

"Am I that repulsive..?"

"No!!!!" You screamed without a thought and reached up to grab his face. The angle was awkward since you couldn't sit up with him on top of you but it forced him to look at you.

"Is that what you think? Satori it's the exact opposite.. i-" your voice broke and you paused to take a breath. It was better to be humiliated than to hurt him so you looked at him, forcing yourself to keep eye contact. You couldn't though, as focused as you were, as much as you wanted to tell him the truth and make his tears stop your mind distracted you again and your eyes trailed his body as you finally realized how he was sitting. Your eyes locked on his waist on top of you and you let out a shaky breath. You forced yourself to take a deep breath and look back at his eyes. He looked confused now, waiting for you to continue.

"The opposite of repulsion is attraction. Satori.. I am so unbelievably attracted to you that everytime I see you it takes everything in me not to jump you right then and there. I love you in a way I shouldn't and to make matters worse I'm so unbelievably attracted to your body that I physically can't control myself around you anymore. That's why I avoided you. Because if I hadn't I would have done something I couldn't take back." He stared at you in shock for a while and as much as you wanted to be embarrassed the only thing you could focus on was his body pressed into yours. You closed your eyes and laid back giving him time to process but he was taking to long and it was getting unbearably painful to stay underneath him. You wanted to say something but you didn't trust your voice. He still didn't move though and you know you had to get him off because your hands were starting to reach for him and you didn't want to force him to be touched in a way he didn't want.

"Satori.." it came out as more of a whine than anything else and he looked at you. You were biting your lip and looking at him with dark eyes. Your hands moved on their own now, onto his thighs. You squeezed and whined slightly once more.

"You have to get off.. it's.." you whimpered slightly as your hips twitched upward without your consent.

"T-to much..!" You cried out and gripped his thighs harder. He didn't move and your body gave in, your hips pushing up into him and rolling. You moaned out and his eyes widened. He must be disgusted. You couldn't stop though, you just had to wait for him to stop you. Until then.. you rolled your hips faster and moaned louder, gasps and pants of his name slipping past your lips. Your eyes were shut tight, you didn't want to see his face. You couldn't handle it. He moved off you and you cried out.

"No!! Please! Just once!!" You were a sobbing mess already, you had thought of this so many times and now it was happening and yet ending so fast. But then you felt weight on the bed again and you opened your eyes. You moaned out at the sight before you, he was bare before you now. He grabbed your bottoms and jerked them off in one swift motion. You would have been impressed if it weren't for the desire clouding your thoughts. You sat up for him and he helped you get your shirt and bra off. His lips attached to your skin and you cried out at the relief you felt from his touch, but it wasn't enough. You grabbed his waist and pulled him back over you. His lips found yours without a second thought and you felt tears falling, not from sadness this time. This time it was from an overload of emotions. Did he love you too? You weren't sure but it didn't matter in this moment. Right now you just needed him against you. With you. Inside you. You pushed him back enough to speak.

"I need you. Now." He didn't waste a second removing all remaining clothes. He slipped a finger inside you first, making sure you were ready for him. You cried out at the feeling, it wasn't enough.

"Please satori! I need you inside me please!" You were begging now and he was moaning at the sound, he slipped his finger out and lined himself up, even with all his desire and need he still went slow. He didn't know if you had been with anyone before and he wasn't taking the chance of hurting you. You cried and clawed at his back, even with all your arousal it still hurt. You yelled at him in frustration.

"How big are you!?" He cracked a small smile at that and rested his head against yours.

"Listen to me okay? Just focus on my voice." You whined at the pain but nodded and looked him in the eyes.

"I never thought I'd get to do this.. I always held back because I was so scared of losing you.. I was so scared.. but I need you.. I need this.." you were crying again, the pain was still there but you could barely focus on it as his words sank in

"You're not just saying that to distract me right? You mean it too..?" He kissed your lips softly but quickly before telling you yes he did mean it. You leaned up and kissed him again, putting everything you felt in it, everything you'd been hiding. You yelped as you felt a sharp pain when he had to push harder to slip in any more. He hushed you and ran his fingers over your cheek, wiping away your tears.

"I'm sorry.. the worst parts over now I promise." He only had to push a little more before he bottomed out. He moaned at the feeling and you whined at the uncomfortable stretch. He apologized again, hating that you couldn't feel the same pleasure he was yet. He kissed you sweetly and leaned his forehead against yours once again, whispering to you.

"The pain will stop soon okay? Do you trust me?" It still hurt but you nodded. You really did trust him. He pulled out partly and pushed back in, each time he pulled back more before thrusting back inside, the pain eventually subsided and you let out a soft moan. He couldn't help but smile at this. He was so happy to be the one to cause you this pleasure.

"Does it feel good now?" You nodded and bucked your hips slightly, earning a deep groan from him.

"Can I try going faster?" You nodded and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He couldn't stop his smile from widening.

"Tell me if it's to much.." he whispered before speeding up, a little at a time. Soon you couldn't stop the moans that were spilling from your lips, you held them back as well as you could though, only because you wanted so badly to hear him. His voice was so beautiful, breathy moans and occasional gasps when you tighten around him. He was straining now and you could tell, he was trying hard to get you to finish as his fingers moved to your clit. Experimenting with different movements, seeing what you liked best. He soon figured out the perfect pressure and movement. You shook below him and he let out a whimper when you tightened even more around him. He couldn't hold back anymore, he pulled out and cussed as his coming orgasm was denied, you whined and looked at him desperately, his fingers hadn't stopped moving but you felt so empty now.

"I'm sorry baby.. I want to cum together.." he blushed and moved down, lifting your legs over his shoulders he lowered his mouth to your heat and you almost screamed when his tongue touched you, he was so careful, so slow at first, once again experimenting with what affected you most. You cried out his name over and over as you lost yourself to the pleasure, hands tangled in his hair. He was observing though, making sure you didnt cum on his tongue alone. Once he could tell you were close he pulled back and you yelled at him.

"What the hell!?" He shushed you and moved back up whispering apologies before plunging his length back into you. Your head fell back on the pillow and your mouth hung open. He reveled in the sight. He was doing this. He was pleasing you. It pulled his orgasm up fast, you were already so close and now he was too. He just had to hold back a while longer. Suddenly you panicked.

"Wait! Condom!" He laughed lightly but it was covered by a moan.

"You really weren't paying.. ah! Attention! I put one on!" He grabbed your hips and you moaned loudly, he noticed and tightened his grip, earning a long drawn out whine from you, your core clinching around him. He did his best to hold back as he started massaging your clit once again, instantly going back to the motion you liked the most. Your legs shook and you screamed his name, you squeezed him so hard he couldn't stop himself as he came, you following suit immediately. You both forced your eyes open wanting to see the other at your climax. It made it so much more intense and you loved it. Afterwards he stayed inside you but was careful not to move since you were both so sensitive. He laughed out of pure happiness and you did the same, afterwards leaning up to kiss him with all the love you had.

"I love you!" He called it out in desperation. His eyes closed in fear of your rejection. You kissed him again and bit his lip playfully as you pulled back.

"I love you too satori.. I'm so unbelievably in love with you.." his smile was so bright, so pure, so filled with affection, and so was yours. He rested his head against yours and you stayed like that for a while before he finally got to tired and leaned up, slipping out of you. He pulled off the condom and got up.

"I'll be right back" he walked out of the room and you laid back reviling in the happiness you felt. He came back in and kneeled on the bed, leaning down to kiss your cheek, whispering in your ear.

"Take a bath with me..?" He was blushing which didn't make you feel any less embarrassed but you nodded and let him help you stand.

"I would carry you but I'm so tired we'd both fall." You laughed and walked with him to the bathroom. The tub was already filling, bubbles coating the water. You had never felt so apsolutley loved and cherished. You pulled him into you and kissed him, slowly and deeply. He let out a small moan as you parted.

"I love you so much Tendou Satori.." tears fell from his eyes but he was smiling. He felt the same way you did, and he told you just that. You climbed into the bath together and cleaned up, you stayed in his arms until the water got cold. Then he got out and turned on more warm water for you.

"Warm up while I get a towel and some clothes" you were confused.

"The towels are in there" you pointed at a cabinet and he just smiled and kissed you before grabbing a towel and drying off in front of you, then leaving. You sat in the new warm water wondering what he was doing. He came back with the towel around his waist and a different towel in his hand, along with some clothes. He set the clothes on the counter and tucked the towel under his arm.

"Come here my love." You blushed but drained the tub and got out. He held your hands making sure you didn't slip and then wrapped you in the towel and you smiled so wide when you realized he must have put it in the dryer for you. He hugged you and kissed your head.

"Did I do good?" His tone was smug but playful.

"Have I told you how much I love you." He pulled back just enough to lift your head and pressed yet another kiss to your lips.

"Yes.. but I'll never get tired of hearing it."

"Even when were old and grey?" you teased but he just let out a light laugh and nodded his head.

"As long as you promise to love me until then."

"I promise to love you much longer than that." You spoke so sweetly he almost didn't believe it was real. The two of you stayed like that a while longer but the warmth started to leave the towel so he pulled back and grabbed your clothes. It was his hoodie and a pair of underwear and you smiled so wide when you saw that it actually made him blush. He wanted to help you get dressed completely but you told him he could only put the hoodie on you. He whined a bit but ultimately agreed. You put your own underwear on and stuck your tongue out at him afterwards when you saw him pouting. He grabbed your face and squished it so hard you couldn't take your tongue back, you squealed as he licked your tongue and whined when he pulled away laughing.

"Satori!!!" He just kept laughing and eventually you couldn't help but join in. You went back to bed and he tossed the towel in the laundry basket and climbed in bed.

"Don't you want clothes on?" He smirked and leaned up to look at you.

"Why? Afraid you'll pounce on me again?" He teased and you blushed.

"You were on top of me it's not my fault!!" You argued but climbed in bed and curled up with him. He laughed and wrapped his arms around you. You looked at him.

"Does this mean we're dating now? Because I really want you to ask me officially so I can say yes officially.." he can't help but give yet another smile at this.

"Alright then.. will you be mine?"

"For the record.. I was always yours, but for the sake of being a couple, yes, of course I will." You kissed him once more before laying down in his arms ready to sleep. He licked your face and you screamed.

"Satori!!!! Why!?!?" He laughed like a maniac and you whined and hit him lightly.

"This is what you signed up for baby!" You blushed and hugged him tightly. He wrapped his arms around you as his laughter died down.

"Alright fine.. goodnight baby. I love you." He kissed your head and you were glad your face was still in his chest because you knew it must be bright red.

"Goodnight baby. I love you too." You'll never know how much he blushed when you said that. You both finally relaxed and fell asleep together.

The next morning you woke up still wrapped in his arms. You carefully searched for your phone, trying not to wake him. You couldn't find it anywhere and we're getting annoyed until you found his. You grabbed it happily and opened Instagram, logging onto your own and scrolling through for a while. An hour passed and your now boyfriend still hadn't moved. You were bored but also comfortable. You opened the camera and started taking pictures of the two of you. You were almost surprised at how truly happy you looked, you looked a mess sure but your eyes were shining brightly and your smile was beaming. Even Tendou was smiling softly in his sleep. You pulled up his contacts and scrolled till you found the one you were looking for. You pressed call and cringed at the slightly loud ringing, glancing behind you to make sure Tendou wasn't waking up. He wasn't and your call was answered.

"Tendou..? Are you alright?" You grinned and whispered softly.

"He's sleeping right now.. but he's fine I promise." There was a pause, he was probably surprised.

"I'm glad to hear that." You started to laugh but clamped your lips shut quickly when Tendou moved his arm. He pulled you closer to him but stayed asleep. You were careful to lower your voice more.

"I just called to thank you. You're an amazing friend and I'm so glad he has you. And I'm sorry for getting you involved and causing so much trouble." The tone that came back was soft and you assumed he was smiling.

"It was no trouble. I'm only glad the two of you are friends again." You smiled wide and it took everything in you not to jump around in excitement.

"We're not friends!" You whisper yelled but the happiness was evident in your voice.

"I do not understand." You laughed softly.

"We're a couple now." He let out a small sound and you could tell he was pleased.

"I'm happy for you." You laughed in excitement and this time Tendou did wake up. But he didn't say anything.

"Thank you. For everything. Are you busy today? You should come over for dinner tonight." Tendou felt his chest tighten. He knew you wouldn't do anything but for a second he was scared. He was scared of losing you. He didn't move, his face was hidden in your back so he couldn't see it was his phone you were on.

"Don't you want to spend tonight alone together?" He really was so sweet.

"I can have dinner with him anytime. You should come tonight, we can celebrate." You heard a whimper from behind you and thought he was having a nightmare.

"Let me call you back I think Satori is having a bad dream." You hung up and turned around. His eyes were squeezed shut and he had tears on his face. You brought a hand up to wipe his tears away and spoke softly to him.

"Hey.. Satori baby.. it's okay I'm right here." He whined again but spoke this time.

"I'm not asleep." You were shocked but even more worried now. Did he regret it? But he was holding you so tight. Did he wake up from a bad dream.

"Baby talk to me.. and look at me I'm right here." He let out a soft sob but kept his eyes closed.

"I'm scared.." you were scared now, you didn't know how to help.

"Scared of what my love?" He whimpered when you said that and finally opened his eyes. You wiped his tears and he searched your face, trying to read you.

"You won't leave me right?" You almost cried just hearing those words. You shook your head, as best you could in the position you were laying, as you answered.

"No baby of course not. You're all I've wanted since highschool. I've never even done more than kiss anyone else. I promise baby. I'm right here." He sighed in relief and nodded.

"Then what were you talking about..?" He sounded so small and you were confused, you couldn't remember your exact words so you just explained the conversation.

"What do you mean baby? I was talking to Ushiijima. I invited him to have dinner with us. He said he thought we would want to spend tonight with just the two of us and I told him we could do that anytime and that we should celebrate tonight." Tendou let out a breath of laughter at himself and buried his face in your chest.

"Baby..? I don't understand.." he took a few more moments to breath before he looked up at you.

"I didn't know who it was.. I knew you wouldn't do anything like that to me but my mind kept scaring me.. I started thinking that it was someone who wanted you, and that you were gonna have dinner with them. And then when you said celebrate I started thinking about middle school and how this girl asked me out as a joke and I know you wouldnt do that but I just got so scared I'm so sorry." You wanted to hurt that girl. You weren't sure you'd ever wanted to hurt someone so bad.

"Listen to me baby. I'm right here and I'll never leave you. And I know what that fear feels like, and I understand how your mind can trick you. I promise you I'll never hurt you. I promise that I love you. I promise that I'm apsolutley completely madly in love with you. I just need you to promise me that if you ever think this way in the future you'll come to me again. Nothing is to small. I'll never judge you or be offended if you get scared. I promise you I'll sit with you and talk things out. Just promise me you'll always come to me okay?" He nodded quickly and wrapped you in a hug, burying his face in your chest once again with a mumbled,

"I promise." You kissed his head and ran your fingers though his hair.

"Can you do the same for me if I ever get scared..?" He leans up and presses a kiss to your lips before answering you.

"I promise." You smiled and kissed him again, interlacing your fingers with his.

"I love you." he smiled at your soft words.

"I love you too." You laid with him a while longer before remembering Ushiijima and leaning back to grab the phone. You called back and put it on speaker this time since he was awake now.

"Hello. Is everything alright?" You were thankful once again for the concern he had over Tendou.

"Yes everything's alright. He's awake now. He's right here with me." He laughed and said a cheerful hello. Ushiijima sounded happy as he greeted him back. Tendou switched your positions so that you were on your back and he was laying on your chest, you laughed softly and ran your fingers through his hair, holding the phone up with the other. He finally noticed it was his own phone and his lips quirked up once again as his spoke.

"You're coming to dinner tonight! No arguments!! We have to celebrate this amazing occasion!! It's a once in a lifetime event!!!" You laughed at his enthusiasm and even heard a soft chuckle from Ushiijima.

"I'm glad you're feeling better. If you would like me to come for dinner i'd be glad to. May I bring my girlfriend as well?" Both of you shot up in surprise, yelling in sync.

"WHAT!?!?" he let out another soft chuckle and you heard shuffling on the line before a tiny voice came though.

"Hello.." you both squealed and aww'd

You got yourself together first and shushed Tendou.

"Sorry about that! We're just really happy Ushiijima found someone! We really hope you'll come tonight too, we'd love to meet you! But don't worry, I promise I won't let Satori bug you to much"

"Hey!! I would never!" You laughed at him and even heard a small giggle from the other end of the line. You grinned and pecked Tendou's lips before speaking again because you were happy and he looked cute.

"We really do hope you'll come but don't feel pressured okay? We'll let you two hang up now just send a text later and let us know what you decide okay?" You heard a small okay and then heard more shuffling before Ushiijima said hello again. You told him you'd talk later and the two of you hung up. You spent at least 5 more minutes squealing and yelling with Tendou. Eventually you two calmed down and he got up to get dressed. You squeaked, yes squeaked, and covered your eyes. He put some sweatpants on and then grabbed you and covered your face in kisses. You laughed endlessly and spent more time in bed until finally you forced him up because your stomach started growling. You got ready with him and decided to go out for breakfast. You held hands the whole time and you would swear on your life you've never felt so happy. He felt the same.

--------------------

Rules | Masterlist

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another-snape-story · 4 years

Text

More in Common Than You Thought

Chapter XX

Nothing remarkable has occurred since that strange incident during the game of Quidditch in the first days of November. Discussion of what had happened died down after a week or so without any constructive conclusion. No one seemed to recall the day when Dark Magic intruded measured life of the Wizarding school ever again. You heartily believed it was just a seeming, and Hogwarts authorities put a careful thought into solving this mystery. The only person who didn’t turn a deaf ear to your concern, the only person who was willing to hear you out, who – same as you – found disregard inappropriate, was Severus. Who in Merlin’s name it might be? Highly responsible and down-to-earth, he kept a watchful eye on one of your colleagues who – you both agreed – behaved oddly. Professor Quirrell.

On top of that, you still couldn’t get over the news you received from your previous employer, and despite of all Snape’s persuasions and convincing arguments that it wasn’t your fault, the thought you might be responsible for the accident popped up in your head every now and then. Snape knew what was weighing over you. He also knew firsthand what it was like being left alone, one on one with nothing but guilt and self-loathing. By no means was he going to let you fall into this destructive abyss of despair. Ready to give you a shoulder every time you were at your lowest, Snape assured you there was nothing worth your nerves and tears.

The two of you were getting closer. You both realized there was no need to know every single detail from your past to understand each other – the essential surfaced in form of little things spoken in relaxed conversations, grain after grain, matching the missing pieces and building a picture of who you actually were.

Snape enjoyed every minute beside you. You filled him with desire to live. Could he ever expect it? Of course, most likely, he was confusing your kindness and friendliness with affection he both craved and feared. For a man who’s never experienced true heartiness, a small gesture of amity might’ve appeared as something bigger than it actually was. Moreover, since causing you pain came across like Snape’s worst nightmare, to keep you unharmed, he convinced himself he had no right to let you too close – he only could destroy lives, and Potter’s son was the living reminder. He got used to sacrificing his life and hope for happiness anyway. Cherishing no pipedreams this cloud-world would last forever, Snape, however, gave in to temptation, too weak to deprive himself of a pleasure to cure his soul by your side even though it was destined to be broken again.

Sullen Potions Professor liked it in your office. Spacious, with high ceilings and nice furnishing, it differed greatly from his own. Variety of plants harmoniously complementing wooden paneling of its walls and numerous bookshelves added vital spirit to the exterior. But it hardly was the setting which made this place so special – the main reason that kept him coming here were certainly you.

The room seemed empty once he stepped inside, but a quick look around sufficed to spot some movement behind the shelving where your place for ‘dirty work’, as you called it, was hidden. Standing with your back turned to the visitor, you surely couldn’t notice him. Headphones on, you smoothly swayed along with the tune, a scalpel in your hand waving jauntily to the rhythm. You easily sank the blade into the carcass of a dissected creature which was now hard to identify and extracted a slimy part of its insides which joined a plenty of a kind in a half-full jar with the same amazingly hideous substance.

Snape leaned against the cupboard – a pawky smirk on his face – marveling the picture. What a wonderful being you were!

“Ahem,” he coughed slightly to catch your attention, but of course, absorbed into the process, you didn’t and couldn’t hear him.

Snape slowly approached you not to scare you too much, although he knew you’d startle either way. The scalpel jolted out of your grip as you flinched, taken aback.

“Never! Never do it again!” with an eye roll, you ripped headphones off.

“How do I do it if you don’t hear me?” he justified himself.

“I don’t know!” you waved your hand. “You’re a wizard after all!” Embarrassed, you felt blood rushing to your face. “Ugh! May I obliviate it from your memory?”

Snape chuckled as he made another step towards you.

“I have so few good moments to recall. Don’t take this one from me,” he smiled softly. “Don’t you mind if I –?” he pointed at the headphones.

You didn’t mind. You knew he wouldn’t report you for using muggle devices, but what happened next struck you dumb. Snape raised the thing to his ear heeding to the sound. The corner of his mouth twitched into his cheek.

“This band helped me through my school years,” he admitted. “The legend of nowadays… That’s a shame we reject everything muggle related – they know how to make really good music.”

Your eyes widened in disbelief. “Never expected you –”

“I’m a half-blood! Of course I do know muggle stuff,” Snape snickered.

Another surprise in a couple of seconds! “I thought you were pure…” you muttered embracing the fact. His life in this House, the House of ‘Elite’, must’ve been a raw deal. Oh, you could tell! You’ve gone through this hell as well.

“Having muggle blood is an advantage,” you stated resolutely. “Those, feeling superior in terms of origin, look so pathetic trying to perceive the purpose of a toaster!”

A laughter rumbled out of Snape’s throat. He couldn’t disagree.

“Tea?” you carelessly shoot your dirty gloves on the working surface and strode past Severus inviting him to make himself comfortable in one of your armchairs.

“Yes, please,” he leisurely followed suit.

“Muggles are cleverer than us, we must admit it,” you served two cups. “They’ve invented so many devices to satisfy their needs of all sorts which we perform with just a wave of a wand. They should be given a credit.”

“Indeed,” Snape watched you with admiration.

“There’s a whole Department in the Ministry that makes monkey work!” you continued vigorously. “Isn’t it better to have an understanding about the world which is so closely intertwined with ours than to ignore it? We could use it for our profit someday!”

“Why wouldn’t you write an article for the Daily Prophet?” Snape reached out for his cup. “I mean it. Many keep this opinion on a tip of a tongue, but have no guts to speak it out.”

“Not sure,” you sighed. “At least not now…”

The way your fingers fidgeted restlessly set the man alert. “What happened?” his face tensed as he fixed his eyes on you.

Denial was pointless. Moreover, you were going to tell him sooner or later – his question just saved you from searching for the right moment. “I’m invited for interrogation.”

The news unsettled him. “When?” Snape frowned.

“Next Saturday.” You lowered your head, regretting one of your biggest mistakes.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“No. I mean… yes! Yes, I really do want you to come!” you gave him a weak smile, “but you shouldn’t. Don’t want to drag you into this shit…”

“As you wish,” a little disappointed, Snape agreed with your decision. In situation like this he himself would definitely not want someone to pity him. You had your right for privacy. If you’d feel more comfortable on your own, he wouldn’t insist.

“Thank you, Severus,” you whispered. “Thank you for offering.”

“Everything will be all right,” Snape cheered you up. “If you change your mind, let me know,” he smiled and you nodded. Grateful for his concern, you looked Severus in the eyes. There was something so comforting about his glance, you couldn’t help believing him.

Thin drizzle which damped school grounds since dawn was now growing thicker splattering haphazardly against your windows. Soon the downpour lashed, and through the rain drenches came first long low rumbles of thunder.

“Ah, the storm,” you joyfully shrank into the backrest, while chaos raged outside. As long as Severus was here, you didn’t mind staying in your little shelter like forever.

“I guess, now I’m trapped here,” Snape assumed showing no discontent. He was happy to stick with you until it all ended, now that he had a good excuse.

“More tea?” you chuckled and Snape tossed his cup towards you.

A dim light flickered through the drops lazily sliding down your office windowpane deep in the night. Passing by, one could discern two relaxed silhouettes sitting across each other talking... or maybe sleeping? It made no difference since no one passed by and didn’t see a thing.

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forhereyesonlyyy · 4 years

Text

for you. // itzy, syn. // one-shot.

in which your childhood best friend tries to distract you from the fact that you’re totally flunking all of your classes by taking you to the places you considered were special to you when you were younger, and you remember why they were so close to your heart in the first place.

word count: 4.8k

author’s note: writing this was really fun, i hope you all enjoy 💓 i apologize for the inconsistency of my updates, i don’t have a scheduler, i literally just drop these out of nowhere and call it a day,,, as for the requests, i will get them done eventually! i am sorry for the long wait, i swear i am just,,, lacking inspiration lately lmao.

genre: high school au, fluff all the way baby, friends to lovers (although, the ‘lovers’ part isn’t specifically stated anywhere.)

tw: mild violence, brief mention of blood.

“(Y/N), I believe you have a clue as to why you're here when classes have concluded?" The guidance counselor, Ms. Jung, said as her assuming eyes traveled from a piece of paper to your eyes. You sat quietly across from the older woman, anxiously bouncing your leg and scratching the cushion you were sitting on. Being called to the guidance counselor's office was something that hasn't happened to you before and not knowing the reason why you're there makes everything just a tad bit more scarier.

On a normal day, you would be walking home with your best friend at this time of day. And speaking of your best friend, you dreaded seeing the look on her face when you meet her by the school gate so late. You had promised to treat her to some ice cream after getting the results for the important test you both took today.

Oh, yeah, that's why I'm here, you thought. You couldn't help but sigh deeply at the realization of it all. You completely butchered the test, and now you were getting the talk from the counselor.

"Your teachers always talk about how you're a well-mannered student who is loved by everyone since the day you entered this school. However," Ms. Jung pushes the piece of paper towards you. You leaned forward to look at the paper and feel your head spin at the sight of so many... failed tests. "You don't make an effort to try at all." The counselor said.

You leaned back on your chair and stared at the bulletin board behind the counselor's desk in an attempt to avoid the older woman's gaze. You could not tell her that you have been trying to get your grades up ever since the first time you got a C+ on a test because you realized that you would just sound dumber than you already look.

You felt your heart swell at your wasted efforts and oh, you just wanted to go home and shut yourself off from the world for a little bit to clear your head, but you know that it wouldn't do anything to your grades. Now you were regretting rejecting an older student's offer to tutor you.

I really shouldn't have brushed off that opportunity. There's no way Jisu can make time for me now. She's a graduating student, I know she must be busy with more important things, you thought. You dread for the time when you have to go home and show your parents your current grade. They never really showed mercy at these kind of things.

You left the guidance counselor's office with a heavy heart. What would your best friend think of you now? The two of you were competing to beat the other into getting the higher grade this school year, there's no doubt that she'll make fun of you because of this.

You can already see her big, toothy grin in your head and if you weren't so devastated, you would've laughed because your best friend's face really puts you at ease. But for some reason, it was doing the opposite at the moment.

You walked past the doors of the building and from the top of the five steps that lead to the door, you could see your best friend's tall figure standing near the school gates.

Shin Yuna, looking cute as ever, had a pout on her face as she leaned against the gates. Her long, lustrous blonde hair was pulled up in a tight ponytail and she wore a big grey jacket on top of her school uniform. It was your jacket. Her tan legs stretched out from under her plaid skirt and you still can't wrap your head around the fact that she was nearly two heads taller than you and the two of you are the same age!

As you walked closer to the gates, you watched as Yuna kicked a pebble solemnly. She hated waiting. It makes her anxious, especially if you don't say anything beforehand. But then again, it's not like you were expecting to get pulled into the guidance couselor's office at the end of the school day.

Yuna turns her head and almost immediately, her frown was replaced with a big smile, "There you are!" She says.

You try to mirror her smile, "Sorry. I got held up by Ms. Jung." You replied, letting your eyes wander to the bright pink hair tie that held Yuna's golden locks together.

"The guidance couselor? What for?" Yuna asked. You flinch at her question, you were hoping that she would whine about you being late and totally ignore how miserable you looked at the moment. You avoid your best friend’s gaze for a minute, staring blankly at the tall trees across the street. You let out a heavy sigh and flashed Yuna a lazy smile, followed by a shrug.

For most people, you were a mystery. Mainly because you never really talk to anyone except for a select few. But for Yuna, you were like an open book. You have been friends since elementary school, so of course you know everything there is to know about each other.

And when you’re being stubborn about hiding what you’re feeling, Yuna makes it her mission to bring it out of you.

Surprisingly enough, however, Yuna doesn’t say anything this time. As weird as it is, you appreciated it. You weren’t in the mood to talk about it anyway.

“Well, whatever then. You didn’t forget your promise, right?” Yuna asked, grinning as she looped her arm around yours. She started dragging you away from the school gates and the two of you were finally out into the streets. You feel the early evening breeze kissing your face as you treaded the pavement. Your tense shoulders finally relaxed as you felt Yuna resting her head on top of it.

You turn your head slightly, “Of course not. And even if I did, you’d make me remember.” You said. Yuna giggles, she knows you’re right. As the two of you walked towards the small ice cream parlor down the street, you realized that you were still holding the piece of paper that had your grades on it. No doubt that Yuna hasn’t seen it, but you still slipped it inside your school blazer. You could see your best friend staring at you from the corner of your eye but you ignore it, staring into the distance.

“Hey,” Yuna tugs on your sleeve, successfully getting your attention. “Are you cold? You can have your jacket back if you like.”

You shake your head, “I’m okay, Yu.” You replied weakly. You were close to the end of the street and across from the little stoplight there was Yuna’s favorite ice cream parlor, but all of a sudden, you felt yourself getting pulled back.

“We’re going somewhere else,” Yuna said. You can tell that she was starting to get bothered by your recent behavior. “I’m not really craving ice cream right now.”

You allow yourself to get dragged around the streets and you realized that your best friend was taking you to the underpopulated part of the town. This section of the city belonged to those who weren't doing very well in terms of money and therefore the quality of the houses, and pretty much everything else, were less than ideal.

Your family used to live here and while your childhood wasn't always pleasant, you still found ways to enjoy every moment of it. Mostly because there was this unnecessarily tall kid that never failed to make your day better just by being herself.

"Yu, why'd you take me here?" You asked as you looked around. It was quiet, but that doesn't mean that it was safe. The scariest things happen in this part of the city, you were lucky that you didn't experience any of them when you were younger. "Oh my God, did you get yourself involved with shady people now? I told you to stop hanging out with Ryujin! Like, I get that she's hot but she's bad news!"

Yuna sputters. "What?! No! Wait," She stops walking and looks at you like you grew three heads. "You think Ryujin is hot?" She asked.

You tilt your head to the side, "You don't?" You didn't get an answer. Instead, Yuna keeps walking forward, muttering something about how she didn't even know what she was trying to do at the moment. You jog up to her side and catch her hand with yours, locking your fingers together.

It's not that you hated this part of the city. The only things you really remember were the worst things. Like that time your puppy passed away, or those numerous times your parents fought, or that time when you didn't catch the string of your balloon fast enough to stop it from flying away to the sun.

The first stop was an old park that was squeezed the numerous run-down apartments in the neighborhood. The fountain at the center of the park had stopped working and vines covered most of it.

"I think... this was where I saw you cry for the first time," Yuna speaks. She staring at the fountain blankly. It was like she was reliving that exact moment on the spot. You don't remember that though. You cried a lot, and you don't exactly keep count. "You were upset because some dumb boy from our old elementary school called you names."

You chuckled lightly, "Oh, that. Didn't you get in trouble for punching him the next day?" You asked.

"It was worth it." Yuna replied with a cheeky grin.

Yuna came to your house late in the afternoon that day. There was a cut on her lip and she bled quite a lot. She tried to look tough but you didn't miss the single tear that squeezed out of her eye when your father patched up her lip. That day, you wondered why Yuna would go through such lengths for you, but that was before you realized that you would also punch a boy twice your size just for her.

“Didn’t we make this our unofficial hangout spot?” You asked as you stood on the fountain. Now you were able to see the top of Yuna’s head, for once. You remember a time where you could still look at each other eye-to-eye, but then she suddenly grew. And then she grew again. Maybe she will never stop growing!

“Yeah, but only because whenever you do that,” Yuna said and pointed at you with a smirk on her face. She suddenly put her hand on your arm and pushed you gently. You let out a yelp as you try to maintain your balance, but you failed and you feel yourself falling forward. You closed your eyes, ready to embrace the pain, only for it to never come. You slowly opened your eyes and of course, Yuna caught you in her arms. “I can do this.” She whispered with that mischievous glint in her eye.

You pushed Yuna away and hopped off of the fountain, “You suck. What if you hadn’t caught me in time?”

“That’s impossible. I’ll always catch you when you fall.” Yuna replied almost immediately, as if she predicted your previous statement. You adjusted your school blazer, making sure that not one spot was dirty, ripped, or folded. And then you reached inside, searching for a certain piece of paper. Your heart nearly dropped down to your stomach when you couldn’t feel the familiar material in one of the pockets.

You looked back at the fountain and of course it was right there for the whole world to see. You quickly snatched it, hoping to the gods that your best friend didn’t see it.

Your wishes ended up being ignored, however. “What’s that?” Yuna asked.

There was basically no point in hiding it. Even if Yuna doesn’t feel like asking you about your feelings now, there will always be that small voice in her mind that will keep reminding her that you were upset about something in this particular day, then she’ll bring it up and you will have no choice but to answer.

You slowly turn around, only to see your best friend eyeing the piece of paper that was trapped between your fingers. “This little thing? Uh, i-it’s nothing. Just... trash, haha.”

Yuna stares at you with an incredulous look on her face, and you sigh, finally giving in. You unfold the piece of paper and handed it to Yuna, your eyes glued to the ground to avoid any more humiliation.

You could see your best friend come closer to look at the paper and a second later, you hear her laughing. Your head snapped up at the sound of her beautiful laugh but you didn’t feel like laughing with her. Instead, you felt frustration building up inside you and you toss the paper towards Yuna, hitting her in the face.

You started walking away. “No! Wait! (Y/N), let’s talk!” You hear yell from behind. You ignore her calls and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t stop tears from falling down your face.

“(Y/N), please, don’t go.” You could still hear Yuna giggling and when you stop to face her again, her smile was replaced with a look of sadness mirroring yours. She immediately ran up to you and reached out her hand, attempting to touch your face and wipe your tears away. However, you don’t give her the chance to do it, you swat her hand away.

Yuna persists, reaching out again with both hands and of course, you were just as stubborn, so you pushed her hands away again. You sobbed as you dodged her attempt to comfort you, blinded by sorrow and anger.

“(Y/N), just let me hug you!” Yuna said, stepping closer. You started to push her away with more strength, but of course you had to get tired. You had to stop resisting Yuna and allow her to embrace you, and you did exactly that.

“I needed you... to say something nice but you just laughed.” You sobbed into her shoulder.

Yuna started caressing your back, “I’m sorry.”

“You can be so mean sometimes.” You added, hitting the taller girl’s hip weakly.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

After that, Yuna led you to an abandoned playground. You remember just how many... interesting things have happened in that exact playground. The one you vividly remember was the one time you, Yuna, and some other kids from the neighborhood played tag. Yuna scraped her knee when she fell while running away from the tagger and you had never seen her cry so hard. You ended up taking her to your house to clean the wound.

You thanked the gods for making your father a nurse because if he wasn’t, then Yuna would probably have a lot of scars at present. She wasn’t the most careful kid back then. Whenever you met up with her in the park or in this playground, she would always have a bruise or two because she either fell from the monkey bars, tripped on air, or got into a petty fight.

If the park was where you shed a lot of tears, then this playground was definitely where Yuna shed hers the most.

“So,” Yuna started as she watched you carefully. The two of you sat on the swings, and yes, this was one of the very many places where Yuna fell flat on her face. “Why are you so upset?” The tall girl asked.

The paper has now been discarded so you couldn't see shoved it up to Yuna's face, "Did you not see my grades? I am flunking my classes, Yu. All of it." You said.

"It's not the end of the world! You can do better next year," Yuna replied. "And you will do better! If there's one thing you can do, it's picking yourself up and pushing past your limits."

You groaned and buried your face in your hands, "Yuna, I love you, and your optimism, but can we be realistic here? I can't keep on going like this. You know that." You lamented.

You feel Yuna's gentle hands pry your hands away from your face. She was kneeling down in front you, wearing her signature goofy grin, and you felt your heart skip a bit when you saw that familiar wonder in her big bright eyes.

"Times like this is when we need to be unrealistically optimistic the most! We need to set up a goal or something! Like, if you manage to do this, then I'll reward you that!" Yuna exclaimed, holding your hands tightly.

You look away and pouted, "Well, clearly I can't do anything, so..." You sighed. You hated being a pessimist, but you really couldn't help it in this situation. Studying hasn't always been your forte, mainly because you thought that you didn't need to do it. You always managed to get decent scores on tests and quizzes without studying. It wasn't until this school year that your grades started getting lower and lower.

"I'm so stupid." You muttered.

Yuna makes a sound of disapproval, "Don't be like that! You know you're smart! You just have to get back on your feet." She said. She started listing out the things the two of you can do to bring your energy back and get you out of that sunken place you were stuck on, but you barely listen.

You thought it was cute how Yuna would gasp loudly when she thinks she thought of the best idea ever. Her eyes would just shine with excitement and she would start bouncing, then she would yell at you to get up and get going.

At that moment you just wanted to hug her tightly, but for some reason, you thought that it would be too much.

Random hugs were cute back in the day, but something about doing them now, in this time and age, makes it weird. And not the good kind. At least not for you.

When you were younger, you loved the feeling of Yuna's embrace. You still do, and you always will, but things a bit... different. You always find yourself wanting to stay close to her for at least a second more, and sometimes you just want to stay in her arms forever.

Her scent puts you at ease and the feeling of her warmth makes you think that nothing can go wrong ever again. It was a dangerous feeling, and you didn't know what to do about it.

"Wanna know how I did in my test?" Yuna asked, sitting back down on the swing beside yours. She grabbed her backpack and pulled out a paper from it with a wide grin on her face. You didn't know what you were expecting, but you definitely didn't predict that Yuna, of all people, would get a D.

Seeing how much your eyes widened, Yuna lets throws her head back laughing.

"Yuna! What the hell happened?!" You asked, hitting your best friend in the arm lightly.

The taller girl slipped the paper back inside her bag and let out a shaky breath. She anxiously fiddled with her hands, and it was almost as if she didn't want you to know. Yuna slowly lifts her eyes from the ground and onto you, "I... I wanted you to win that stupid challenge." She said.

You blinked, "So you can treat me instead? Yuna, you know that I'd buy you ice cream regardless, right?" You asked, chuckling.

"I know! But... I like seeing you smile when you win," Yuna averts her gaze to the ground again, biting her lip out of embarrassment. "God, what am I saying?" She muttered.

You shake your head, still laughing, "You really didn't have to purposely fail an important test just to see me smile, you know."

"But it's you." Yuna replied. You didn't know what to say to that. What does that even mean? As much as you wanted to ask, you were afraid that your best friend might combust at the spot, so you simply did not respond.

(Unbeknownst to you, Yuna was regretting letting those words slip out of her mouth.)

A sudden burst of wind suprises you, and you couldn't stop yourself from shivering. You let out a breath and suddenly you were being pulled to your feet by Yuna, who wore an unreadable expression on her face. "Come with me. There's one more place I want to visit before we go." She said in a soft voice.

Yuna led you to an unfamiliar street. It’s either you have never passed by this part of the area or it was just your bad memory acting up once again. Your hand once again finds Yuna’s, you hadn’t even realized that you were holding your hand until you felt your palm dampening. You look at Yuna and saw that the tips of her ears were reddening as seconds pass. Weird.

Eventually, you realized that Yuna just walked you through another road to your old middle school. It shut down weeks after your graduation and a new and better one was built near the road that connects the shabby and honorable parts of the city.

“It’s a little sad how they don’t even try to demolish these old places. They just leave them here to rot on its own,” You said as you and your best friend neared the building. There were graffiti all over the walls, they looked amazing. “At least it’ll rot with art on it.”

From the other end of the wall, you hear Yuna laughing, “Hey, (Y/N), take a look at this.” She said, waving you over. You stood beside Yuna and followed her gaze. You couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of ‘RYU was here’ written near the bottom of the wall in big dark blue letters. Yuna takes out her black marker and writes ‘Hey, Ryu :) - Yuna, (Y/N)’ right under it, snickering at the thought of her friend spotting it one day.

“So, did you take me here to commit a crime? I thought we weren’t supposed to do that until like, third year of college when we’re sad, miserable, and regretting ever being born?” You asked, following the taller girl to the back of the building. You can see the way Yuna’s cheeks hunched up, indicating that she was smiling and definitely up to something. You just hope that neither of your parents will pick you up at the police station by the end of the day.

Right. I still have to deal with their initial reactions to my petty excuse of a grade, you thought, sighing to yourself.

“We’re here,” Yuna says as she stops walking. In front of you was a small hill that you and some other students from the school used to hang around in. On the other side of the hill was just another part of the area, so there wasn’t anything special about it. But you do remember laying down with Yuna and falling asleep while staring at the clouds. You have never felt so at peace. “I kind of wrestled a lot with Ryujin here which led to a lot of detention and suspension warnings. I’m sure you remember that part!” Yuna explains while pulling you towards the hill.

You hum in agreement, “Ah, yeah. Ryujin went here too.” You said. The two of you haven’t always been on each other’s good side. Ryujin hated how you allegedly forced Yuna to do all these goody-two-shoes things and you absolutely despised how Ryujin would get in trouble and drag Yuna down to hell with her. And until today, both of you still feel the same towards one another, but you have do doubt that you’d jump to defend Ryujin with your life when someone opposes her. She would do the same too, but she doesn’t tell you that.

Yuna lays down on top of the hill, using her backpack as her pillow, and pulled you down to join her. Her sweet cinnamon scent filled your nose and you already felt your nerves relaxing as she puts her arm around you shoulders, pulling you close. She rested her chin on top of your head (where you couldn’t see her beet-red cheeks).

“Do you feel better?” Yuna asked. You nodded, although you were still unsure of what to feel at the moment. You feel your heart racing uncontrollably, almost as if it wants to break out of your ribcage and leap out of your chest. Whenever you were this close to Yuna, it always happened. You always kept yourself still, afraid of the stupid thing you might do if you even move an inch.

(Yuna feels the same.)

“You know, when we were little brats, we promised each other that we won’t keep any secrets from one another no matter how horrible they are,” Yuna says as she slowly caressed your hair, feeling each lock between her fingers. Your eyelids started getting heavy and all you could do was nod weakly while you fought against the temptation to fall asleep. “Well, there’s this one thing I’ve been hiding from you for a while.” Your best friend continues.

Your eyes snap open upon hearing her words, “How long?” You asked.

Yuna pauses and takes a deep breath, “A few years.” She admitted.

Truth to be told, you were more surprised than pissed. Yuna never shuts up once she finds something interesting to talk about, so for her to keep a secret from you, who can basically pass as her other half, is something that has never happened before, ever. You were excited to find out what your best friend could be hiding all this time. A few years is a long time after all.

A wide grin spreads across your face, “This better be good, Shin Yuna.” You said.

“That’s up to you,” The taller girl muttered. She swallows thickly before starting her little story. “Towards the end of our first year here, we were laying down on this same spot. You felt tired from all the stupid work and games we did during recess, so I told you that you can rest with me. While you slept, Ryujin suddenly came up and... teased me, but I told her to shut up because I didn’t want you to wake up... since you looked so beautiful when you’re at peace like you were back then.” She spoke softly and carefully. She has always been afraid to spill way too much emotion than needed, you knew that. But you also knew that this was probably something she has been wanting to get off her chest.

You looked up, your heart beats a little louder when you meet Yuna’s gentle eyes, “Is... that it?” You asked.

Yuna releases a silent laugh and continues, “No. While you were sleeping, I thought about... about how I just wanted time to stop at that moment so that I can keep you in my arms forever, away from all the bad things out there, from Ryujin, and everybody else. I thought that it wouldn’t be so bad if I get to... spend the rest of my days with you. It sounds ridiculous because we were like, I don’t know, twelve that time... but that’s how I felt. And that’s how I still feel.”

It was weird. The way you felt exactly the same as Yuna, the way you would occasionally get lost in her eyes, the way everything seems to slow down just for you and her. Everything was weird, and it felt surreal.

Your breath hitches when Yuna lifts her hand and pushes your hair back, her fingers grazing your skin just a little and leaving a trail of goosebumps. “Then... I kissed you. Right... here.” She taps your nose with her index finger and smiles nervously.

You take her hand in yours, intertwining your fingers, and leaned closer, “The only bad thing in all of this is that I missed that kiss since I was passed out.” You said as blood rushed to your cheeks at the realization of what you were trying to do.

Yuna pulls you closer and she embraces you tighter, now you could feel how her heart was racing as fast as yours were, “Can I do it again, then? Properly this time?” She asked.

Your eyes fluttered close and that was the only answer Yuna needed. She leans down and plants a sweet kiss on top of your nose. At the same time, butterflies invaded in your stomach, making you laugh all of a sudden and hide your face on the crook of Yuna’s neck.

Yuna laughs with you, she was just as embarrassed but hearing your laugh made everything seem a little better.

“Hey, Yu?” You lean back to look into your best friend’s eyes again. She raises her eyebrows, prompting you to continue. “Thank you.” You say.

Yuna smiles brightly, and it was like thousands of suns were shining down on Earth, “Anything for you.”

#itzy imagines #itzy scenarios #itzy reactions #itzy oneshots #yuna imagines #yuna reactions #yuna scenarios #yuna oneshots #girl group imagines #girl group reactions #girl group oneshots #girl group scenarios #itzy yuna #shin yuna #itzy blurbs #itzy fanfic

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bangtanlalaland · 4 years

Text

around the way girl | knj (m.)

synopsis ↳namjoon kim was the man you’d fallen in love with in college, while existing in a society where ambw relationships are rare.

→part of the bring it back collection!

— 1990’s!au; strangers to lovers!au

→pairing: underground rapper!kim namjoon x beauty supply store worker!black female reader

→genre: fluff, smut

→word count: 4.7k+

→contents ⨯ warnings: that beautiful, interracial love (AMBW) [if you’re racist, fuck off my page!] some major fluff action here, joon is so soft, (I stg he’s a dom but also a hopeless romantic. the DUALITY. agsgsjlldlejd), rapper joon makes an appearance, sweet love making, name calling (cute shit, I promise), also the use of DADDY, lots of kissing and caressing, body worshiping, oral (f receiving), protected sex (no glove, no love baby), fingering, over-stimulation, namjoon is so inspired by hip hop culture, y’all I tried really hard to sprinkle some 90′s vibes in there so bare with me ok,

a/n: heyyyy loves! I wanted to do something different, considering that I hardly come across any fics (specifically BTS) with a woc or simply a black reader. so here’s one to all of my beautiful, black queens out there! much love to you all & I want you to know I am here & stand with you.

song rec: “around the way girl” by ll cool j

☞ disclaimer: If any of the warnings listed above offends you in any way, please do not read. It is not my intention to start any sort of debate/argument in regards to racism, culture appropriation, etc. Therefore if any characters, settings, and/or facts/statements are incorrect, please disregard. However, this body of text is for entertainment purposes only. All characters, settings, scenarios, and dialogue are fictitious. Any similarity to events or persons, whether living or dead, is coincidental.

It was like a movie, from start to finish. Growing up, times were hard and challenges never ceased to fade. But, you pushed through — the good, the bad, and the ugly. Lost ones along the way, realized you couldn’t trust everyone, but you grew. As an independent, young, black woman living in America. And then something happened, that changed everything.

The year of 1998, when fall semester classes at your college just ended, which called for finding a seasonal job for the time being. And that’s how you ended up working at Queen Beauty Supply about two blocks from your place. You grew up knowing Mr. Park (who is the owner and now your boss) all your life. As you were a child, your mother supported his business, always stocking up on flexi rods, Just for Me relaxers, Goody brushes, and all. Even the endless amounts of barrette balls of every color you could think of, she made sure you had. And seeing that you blossomed, Mr. Park was more than honored to hire you for a seasonal gig. You loved him as if he was your family, just as well as he loved you.

It all started that one evening when you worked the register, fancy-ing some Poetic Justice-style braids, showcasing your figure with a halter top and mom jeans. A small stereo behind you blared the latest hits on the radio, Jon B currently on play. You flipped through the latest issue of Word Up! Magazine, admiring the new spread that featured Mya, Monica, and Brandy — your two in. acrylic, nails dragging across the pages. The sound of the bell jingles over the door, indicating the arrival of a customer. Your gaze turns up to greet said customer, and your eyes meet with the fellow that entered.

And damn were you blown away for a hot sec. He was cute, really cute. You hadn’t even realized he asked you something, while standing in front of you on the opposite side of the counter. He’s Asian, obviously. His eyes having told it all. They were different, not shaped like yours, but beautiful. Which was intriguing. But him simple being here in a beauty supply store was interesting, Yes, it’s ironic. The owner himself being Asian, but the intended audience is your fellow black folks. You could tell he’s obviously inspired by your culture since he sported a bucket hat and a loose, white tee that may have been just two sizes too big for him — which is rare nowadays to find on an Asian man. But, you don’t question it. Of course, you’re well aware people of all races are influenced by hip hop culture so in a way, it doesn’t surprise you as much. Okay, maybe a little. But still.

“Can I help you?” His eyes did a weird thing, but it was cute. He was cute.

“Do you have du-rags here?” Your eyebrows raise and head cocks to the side, having abandoned the magazine you were just reading.

“What do you want with a du-rag?” You question, knowing well the texture of his hair can’t form into waves, so you suppose it’s for a fashion statement. He starts blushing, his eyes shut and beautiful pearly whites on display. Damn, did he have you hooked on the spot and you didn’t even know his name yet. You had to hurry up and get him out of here for your own sake, so you took the lead. A few beats passed before he realized you were leading the way to what he needed. He stumbled a little.

“It’s uh- For my performance,” He slips, trailing behind you while passing by the rows of hair-care products, leading towards the back of the store.

“Performance? You dance?” You question, while strutting down the row of where the brushes, combs, barrettes and the jewelry wall was displayed — purposely swaying your hips back and forth just a tad too much for dramatic effect. He definitely noticed, his eyes glued to your form and wondering how your jeans could mold those curves so perfectly.

He blushes at the thought but replies, “I’m a rapper,” And that’s when you stop in your tracks, flipping your braids behind your back and placing your hand on your hip, giving him the same expression that you gave at the counter.

“A rapper?” You ask, while taking him in from head to toe. You notice his white Air Force Ones.

Damn, he is so fine.

He has style, you’ll admit that. But an Asian rapper? That’s unheard of, at least in your neighborhood.

“Do you, boo.” You shrug, while gesturing toward the wall on your left, that displayed various colors of du-rags. You step away to return to the register and then he speaks again.

“What about Blue Magic?” As if he hadn’t surprised you enough, you cross your arms, facing him.

“Well…. it depends on what you want.” You pause, and roll on your heels to walk again, he follows behind you.

“We have coconut oil, but the hair food is out of stock right now. The hair and scalp treatment is limited quantity, but we do have Castor Oil and Super Sure Gro.” You arrive at the row of hair care products, with numerous brands of oils, treatments, and more that cover the shelves. After leaving him there, you admired the way his eyes were shot wide, and you knew damn well he was not 100% sure of what he was looking at — as he searched for the product that piqued his interest.

And so it became a regular occurrence. He’d come in at least once every two weeks, buying the same thing. A du-rag and Super Sure Gro. Some days you’d even be a little extra to “up” your appearance, in hopes he’d notice or in some fantasy world, he’d compliment you. Maybe even ask about you or your day. Or if you’d like to go watch a movie with him or even hit up a spot for some good food. You ponder if he’d be into trying soul food someday. Your mom always did say that a way into a man’s heart is through his stomach. Well, more-so implying that you should know how to get down and dirty in the kitchen.

—

The bell jingles again, while you’re out on the floor stocking up the shelves with bottles of Luster’s Pink Oil Formula. Reaching below into the box to grab a few more bottles, you hadn’t noticed he was towering above you. You jumped slightly when you meet eyes with him, nearly dropping the contents you held onto.

“Don’t you know not to run up on a black woman like that? I may be little, but I can kick your ass!” You both break out into a contagious laugh. He stuffs his hands into his baggy jeans of his, that gorgeous smile spreads across his face. He clears his throat,

“I- Uh- I’m- I’m sorry, I-”

You shake it off, “You’re fine, boo.” Your hand finds its way into his shoulder, a light rub as you brush past him to head for the register. He hesitates, trailing behind you as he fights for the right words to say.

“I-I just, I-” You reach the front of the counter and turn to make eye contact with him. Your eyebrows raise slightly, taking in how he’s struggling to piece his words together. You place your hand on his shoulder again and note how he gazes at you with those same wide eyes you’d grown familiar with over the past few weeks. His lips parted slightly as if he was going to say something but didn’t.

“It’s okay-” You trail off, in hopes he’d catch on.

“Oh, right. N-namjoon. My name is Namjoon.”

You smile in response, lightly rubbing his arm with your palm.

“Is there…. Something you want to say? I promise, I don’t bite,” You state with a soft smile. You notice his shoulders easing themselves down. Part of you wonders what he was so tense for.

“You should come to my performance-” He says rapidly then pauses, looking down and then back up to you, “I would like it- I mean I think that you- You would like my performance.” He internally hates himself for being shy around you, his cheeks so tight and raised from smiling hard, and you could have literally melt in that moment. You thought it was cute to see him that way. To know you made him feel all flustered.

There was a grand amount of effort he’d built to approach you. The very, first day he arrived at the store, he wanted to say something then. He went home that night rehearsing how he’d spark up a conversation with you. He even recalls one time he’d seen you at a bus stop sucking on a lollipop, and how tempted he was to say something then. But he couldn’t. He was afraid of rejection, and he wasn’t sure how to approach you. So when he’d visit the beaut store and see your face, he’d grow warm on the inside. And when you would make eye contact with him, his heart would stop. When you would speak to him with that sweet voice of yours, he’d freeze.

So when you said yes you would be there, he cried afterwards. Not in front of you of course, but on the bus back to his place. He couldn’t believe that you didn’t reject him. Throughout the weeks, he’d contemplated because he didn’t know how you felt about people of his race. He didn’t know how your race felt about people like him in general. Although, it never mattered to him. Because he believed that love is love. As long as you’re happy with that person, that is all what truly matters. He believed everyone deserves to have that kind of love. Little did he know, you felt the same way.

And then things advanced between the two of you.

It was the night he invited you to an underground party, and it was live. Music thumped with never-ending bass, people danced and smoked, and the space felt warm and cluttered, courtesy of body heat. You gradually ease your way through the space, attempting to find some kind of “safe haven” amongst the grinding, moving bodies within the cramped atmosphere. The music settles down, which causes you to look ahead, realizing you’re in front of the stage where the DJ is posted up on the left.

“Alright, y’all! You already know what time it is.” The DJ blatantly announces through his microphone. The crowd somewhat reacts, but not to his liking you assume.

“I said… Y’all already know what time it is!” Everyone goes wild, screaming, chanting and whistling.

“Tonight, I wanna welcome y’all my boy. From the East side, he’s an up and coming rapper- Y’all check this,” He pauses for a moment, “He is a Korean rapper! Y’all feel me? What y’all know about a Korean rapper, aight?” He shakes his head throwing his hands up.

“Imma let y’all have this one, but I’m tellin’ y’all! You don’t know nothing bout this!” You smile uncontrollably, aware of who he’s talking about. Also somewhat anxious to see what the hype is about, your nerves making your stomach churn just a little too much while you’re out in public.

“Give it up for my boy, RM!” The DJ, swivels the record on his turntable back and forth. And there Namjoon was, appearing from the side of the stage, with his du-rag and bucket hat, loose tee, baggy jeans, and those familiar Air Force Ones you’d grown to recognize. You also peep the Cuban chain that adorns his neck.

And then the beat kicks in. Which was also familiar, you note that it’s the beat for “I Need Love.” Everyone starts bobbing their heads, including him. Including you.

He throws his hand up, shoving gestures to go along with the rhythm of the music, while using his other hand to firmly hold onto his mic.

“I’d like to introduce myself, The name is RM, Let’s rewind and take you back to when it first started, Very first time that I walked in the shop, I was startled and I swear I had felt my heart drop, You made me wanna get down on my knees, Begging, please, Coulda told you I was sprung the moment I seen ya,”

He makes eye contact with you and points directly in your direction. He’s talking about you, right? He’s got to be. There’s no way he isn’t. You continue bobbing your head to the beat, and you can’t fight the smile in return.

“Dang baby, how’d you fit in those jeans? Hips got a brother feeling like he’s in a dream, Couldn’t even keep my head straight, Yeah I’m Asian but damn, Somethin’ must have went left and messed up my fam, Sittin’, thinkin’, contemplatin’, and wonderin’, How could I get this fine lil shawty to blushin’? Hopin’ that you’ll say yes and lemme steal you from the scene, Treat you like a queen and show you what a real man can be,”

He stares at you for a moment too long, yet you’ve already grown too hot for the jean jacket you’re wearing over your tube top.

“I need love,” he adds before dropping the mic; everyone suddenly is hype, continuously cheering him on and giving him props for his performance.

“I told y’all! Give it up for my boy, RM!” The DJ adds, patting him on the back while smiling from ear to ear. But, his eyes are focused on you, and only you — who just can’t seem to shake off the bright smile plastered on your face, you attentively graze your bottom lip with your teeth to attempt stopping yourself from smiling so much. But, you fail. And he takes note of that, returning a smile to you. You could tell he’s blushing, his dimples appearing before he dips his head low.

So shy, yet so damn fine. How is that even possible?

—

That same week, he surprised you at work, stumbling in to rap a few verses about how beautiful you are to him, and he pulled a bouquet of roses he hid from behind his back. You remembered that day so clearly. You remembered kissing him, hugging him, holding his hand, smelling the flowers. You also remembered Mr. Park interrupting your little PDA session to scold you about: “No kissing and no sex on the clock!”

But, Namjoon loved you more than you could think. And he didn’t care who in the world thought it was wrong for you two to fall in love. Because the night you two had arrived at his apartment, lips intertwined with one another, and hands roaming each others bodies, was when everything became so clear.

You both stumble inside, too wrapped up in locking lips with one another. Namjoon guides you toward his bedroom; and being the klutz he is, he stubs his shoe on the baseboard leading to his bedroom. You both break the kiss, and you can’t help but chuckle at his clumsy ways.

“Why you laughing at me, huh?” He lifts you up and you can’t help the half gasp/half giggle that escapes your lips, immediately wrapping your legs around his waist as he carries you to his bed. He gently lies you down on your back and hovers above you. You unexpectedly snatch his bucket hat off, tossing it somewhere on the floor — his faded, white-blonde and dark brown strands on display.

“Did you have to do my Kangol like that?” He whines with furrowed brows. You tap his bottom lip, dragging your finger across the plump flesh.

“Shut up and kiss me.” His gold Cuban link chain hangs from his neck, prompting your fingers to tug it down, and you do so, his lips smashing with yours yet again. Your fingers lace themselves within his hair, admiring the feel of his oiled scalp. His lips massage yours in a way that’s beyond comforting, and you make sure to inform him how nostalgic kissing feels. Drawn-out moans spew from you, and you can’t help but wonder how in the hell could you be in this time and moment with him. Piece by piece all of your garments end up lost on the ground, along with his clothing. He had you caged in to his bed and kept himself hovered over you, planting kisses along your neck trailing down to your collarbone.

“Mmm, Joon.” You follow his lead, kissing his blush-colored lips, snaking through his silky strands. His hands travel behind your back to remove your lace bra, revealing your breasts that illuminate from the moonlight peeking through the blinds of his window, your chocolate nipples hardened and desperate for attention. His eyes are blown wide, cherishing every dip and curve of your body.

“Wow,” He admits, his erection growing behind his undergarment. He holds a few moments to etch this view of you within his memory, appreciating every trait of your being in this form. His hands find placement on your hips, pulling you to his body completely — the soft, plushness of your breasts pushed against his chest. He rubs the outline of your face, slowly dragging his index finger along your jawline.

“You are the most beautiful woman in the world. You know that?” You let out a small giggle, feeling vulnerable in this state. He kisses you, being sure to suck your bottom lip, pulling and tugging softly with his teeth. His hands roam down your back and land on your ass cheeks, gripping with force. Your breath hitches, and you find yourself wrapping your arms around his neck, in hopes to ease him in just a little more. Even though physically it isn’t possible. He teases your bottom lip with a swipe of his tongue, asking for entrance.

And you let him in, sucking and licking him back in response, both of yours saliva mixing with each others, and not a care in the world — too consumed in each other. He gropes your ass, causing a moan to slip from you. His large palms kneading the cushion-y flesh, and damn is he grateful for this moment in time with you. He pulls from your lips with an audible smack, and you relish in the sight of his thick lips all swollen and damp.

“I love you, ____” He admits with those delightful irises.

“I love you too, Namjoon.” He guides you to lie down on your back, hovering above you as he places kisses along your jawline, leading down your neck, taking his time to cherish every part of you. His hands roam along your sides, caressing the curves of your body. He kisses the area between your breasts and stops suddenly, eyeing you for approval. As if understanding, you nod. His tongue peeks out and circles your right nipple, he wraps his lips around the bud and sucks with tenderness, making sure to release with a pop each time while his other hand massages your left breast.

Your core aches as a result, needing to feel him so the void inside your walls can be filled. He repeats this with your other tit, sucking your nipple while massaging the other, pinching and rolling the bud between his fingers. Your core throbs with an intense pleasure, soaking your now soiled panties. He eases down further, planting kisses down your tummy and moving along the inner thighs of your mocha skin, praising the smooth, supple, flesh. His fingers tug the band of your lace panties, and he eyes you again for approval.

“Please,” You plead, and it was all he needed to hear to remove the garment and reveal yourself to him, treasuring the sight of your lips dripping from arousal. He wastes no time, as you feel his warm, wet muscle gliding along your folds, his nose nuzzling your clit in the process. Your fingers snake into his hair and hips buck upwards to move along the rhythmic motions of his tongue, while he devours you whole as if he’d become a man starved.

“Joon!” You praise, panting for air, Your gaze follows between your legs, cherishing the man that continues to eat you out. He watches your expressions, glaring deeply into your eyes as he does so. His fingers ease toward your folds, rubbing his digits along your drenched pussy, coating them with your wet. He watches you still, not wanting to leave your gaze as he enters a finger inside you. You moan his name in response. His finger delves deep within you, your walls sucking him in perfectly.

“So good for me,” He lashes his tongue out to lick your clit in a circular motion. The sight of him between your thighs makes your heart quiver. He deliberately adds a second finger, his lengthy digits curling themselves upwards and dragging along the walls of your womanhood. His nails dig along the flesh of your thighs, keeping you settled and under his grip, his lips suck on your clit til no end. His obscene noises send a shockwave of pleasure through you, and your toes curl at the sensation. He pulls his fingers from out of you and tastes your arousal that clings to him.

“Tastes so good,” He moans, and you can’t help your thighs from rubbing together to ease the tension that has built. Then, he blushes at the view of you, all horny and ready for him. Only him. How can he be so cute and so fine at the same time? You ask yourself this everyday. Your legs move on their own accord, struggling to draw him back in. He chuckles at your actions.

“You want more, baby?” He questions in that deep, sexy voice of his.

You nod in reply, “Yes, Joon. Please, daddy?” His famous dimples reappear, and those mesmerizing, pearly whites appear. He dives back down, trailing kisses along your tummy, leading to your mound. He worships your body as he had wanted to do since the day he met you, gripping and rubbing along your skin. He moans against you, admiring the feel of you under his fingertips. His lips encase around your clit again, and your body jerks from the sudden feeling. His tongue slides along your folds, sucking and slurping, making the most lewd noises.

His fingernails drag along your thighs, adding an odd tingle within you. You follow his motions and graze your nails on top of his hand, when an unexpected bliss washes over you — causing you to writhe underneath him. He continues sucking your clitoris until you can’t take anymore, your legs gliding up an down along his back, back arching off the mattress, eyebrows furrowing and you simply drowning in euphoria with trembling thighs as your nails drag along his scalp and your cries echo within his eardrums.

“Joon, daddy!” Your nails dig further into his hand, and fingers tug harshly onto his strands. Your core now sensitive to the touch, something you’d never experienced before. He moves his head back and forth, delving deeper and not wanting to let go. You scratch his back, now in hopes he’d give up. You’re nearly convinced he’s going to kill you with that tongue of his, and then out of nowhere, he pushes two fingers inside you. Your toes curl for what feels like the millionth time, and you whimper his name repeatedly.

He thrusts his digits into you, a loud squelching noise filling up the space. And you feel those plush lips wrap around your clit again. He ruts against the bed, wanting to feed the tension within his groin. Your feet now having fought the sheets you lay upon, twisting and turning due to the over-sensitivity. But in some strange sentiment, there’s another wave. And here you are having your second orgasm of the night.

“Fuck, Ungh- I’m cumming again!” Your body shakes violently, not having control over the orgasm that’s overtaken you. An uncontrollable scream slips out and you shove Namjoon away from you with a strained push, his chin now glistening with you. He wipes the residue from his face with the back of his hand, grinning at you fucked out and waiting on his bed. He pulls a condom from somewhere in his drawer and wraps himself up.

He was so thick, thicker than you thought. You lay flat on your tummy and Namjoon sets himself on top of you, caging you in again. He notes the glow upon your ebony skin as he coats his protected member with your drenched self, adding a line of his own saliva and finally diving into you with every inch he has, at a slow, steady pace. But the places he reaches leave you wondering what you’d done to deserve this kind of dick.

Magnificent.

“Beautiful, black queen,” he slips in between breaths, rocking his hips against yours. The position granting him a much deeper access. You gasp at his remark, clenching your walls tighter around him, he hisses in response. His warm breath fans the right side of your face, and he presses a kiss along your earlobe while adding,

“All mine. You’re my black queen, understand? Can’t nobody take that away from me.”

“Yes Namjoon,” You reply. “I’m all yours.”

His cock twitches at the sound of his name slipping from your lips within this state — having you underneath him like this, needy, desperate, and only craving him. He inches to meet your lips with his. His kisses are filled with want and desire, full of love. That sweet, sweet love.

“Give it to me daddy,” You say under your breath but audible enough for him to hear, and he takes heed to continue thrusting himself into you, his delicate, golden skin glimmering with perspiration. The sound of your bodies clapping against each other resonate throughout his apartment, as soft whimpers and moans fall from you, and he utilizes every millisecond of this moment to drown himself in your presence.

“So tight, so wet. So beautiful.” His hips buck in a gentle, yet stern manner, causing your body to jerk upward and eyes to shut close in response — his balls slapping your ass with each thrust of his hips, he continuously hits that sweet spot over and over again, your eyes rolling back due to the nostalgia. He eases his fingers in between your legs to rub circles into your clit simultaneously, and it doesn’t take long for your walls to contract for the third time that night.

“Fuck baby,” He coos with followed moans and groans, spilling himself while still buried in you. You shudder underneath him with nails dragging along the sheets, and muffled moans from burying your face, as you call out his name like it was the only function your brain could process.

He eases himself out of you, and you can’t help the low gasp that emits from you — having been so full of him and sensitive at the same time. A few moments later, and the slight shift of the bed indicates he vanished to discard the condom. You simply lay there, slowly processing that he’d given you the best sex you’ve ever had, being that his main focus was pleasuring you.

But it was in those final moments when Namjoon cuddled you afterwards, bodies attached together by sweat, gasping for air and basking himself in the warm, vanilla, sugar aroma of your essence — that he knew he was in love with you. And there was nothing anyone could ever say to change his feelings.

You break the silence having thought of Namjoon’s words you recall from his performance.

“Think you’ve found it?” He watches your form with raised eyebrows.

“Found what?” You trace circles along his chest, gazing upon his abdomen.

“Love,” You state, and a silence falls that makes your body warm up in a flash.

He shakes his head in a “no” gesture, “I don’t think I have.” The sudden pause of his sentence makes your heart drop.

“I know I have.” He kisses your forehead and draws you closer to him, holding onto you for dear life — like he’s afraid he’d lose you. You beam at his gesture, curling up into his figure. His heart thumps from the immense affection between the two of you. Your now closed eyes like an irreplaceable gift to him.

“My around the way girl,” He whispers to himself, while petting your hair and drifting off into slumber.

#houseofddaeng #ficswithluv #btswritingcafe #bangtanhq #btsgoldnet #mikrogalaxynet #namjoon fluff #namjoon smut #rm fluff #rm smut #bts fluff #bts smut #kim namjoon #ambw #bts ambw #bangtanlalaland

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currywaifu · 4 years

Text

𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: muse 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩: miyoshi kazunari/reader 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: sfw 𝐰𝐜: 3.1k words, 1 image

𝐚𝐧: got back to writing again~ how much kazu-speak is too much? sorry this took a while, but I finally got over my writer’s block!

When your phone vibrates the exact minute your class ends, you know the text can only be sent by him. As the people around you begin to step outside the lecture hall, you find time to read your boyfriend’s message before heading out as well.

With Kazunari being a year above you, in a different course more so, there were times during the week where the two of you could barely catch a glimpse of each other. Projects were beginning to pile up for both of you, and with his acting to consider you initially didn’t want to bother him, but…

Just as you picked up your bag, your phone lights up again.

Wah, where r u??? I mish u already beb 💓💕💞

Stifling a giggle, you send back a text before quickly shuffling out of the classroom.

Kazunari always made the effort to put time into your relationship and give you affection, regardless if it was eating together during mutual breaks in between classes or sending each other cute messages and memes on social media.

Of course as cute as his selfies were nothing could beat physically being beside him and hearing his voice in person, so who could blame you for picking up your pace and rushing to where you knew your boyfriend was.

He’s seated on a bench when you spot him, fiddling with his phone. Before you could call out to him whips his head to face you. Instantaneously his lips break into a smile and from the lift of your cheeks you know you’re the same.

“Heyho☆ You looking for someone?” Kazunari says as you approach him, a teasing grin settling on his face. “You look a little lost~”

“I’m here for Kazu, my boyfriend!” You reply, lifting your hand and placing it atop of his head. “He’s this tall, and… oh! Super handsome, too. Have you seen him?”

Holding back a laugh, his eyes dart from left to right before sighing. “Unfortunately, he’s nowhere to be found. Aw, but you look totes adorbs~♪ Should I steal you away from this Kazu guy? I’ll def sweep you off your feet☆”

Before you know it Kazunari pulls you into his arms, the spontaneity a surprising but warm feeling. You wrap your arms around him as well, smiling against his sweater as the two of you hug while swaying left and right.

“Alright, that’s enough, Casanova.” You say the moment the hug gets too tight, slowly escaping his embrace.

“I want more though~” He whines, reluctantly letting go of you. He didn’t actually look upset if the glimmer in his eyes was anything to go by. “Well, I needed your help with something anyway!”

Anticipation bubbles up within you, expecting a new piece he needed help with, or maybe something for you to critique. After all, your admiration for his work was one of the reasons the two of you had gotten so close in the first place.

“I’ll do my best, Kazu-senpai!” You beam at him, throwing in the honorific to potentially catch him off-guard. Needless to say, it worked splendidly.

“Senpai?! You haven’t called me that in forever!” Kazunari was buzzing with excitement, grabbing one of your hands to swing it around. “Ahhhh- it was so, so cute every time you called me that! I was like, OMG—”

You roll your eyes. “I know, you’ve said that how many times?” Nevertheless, every time he mentioned it the more fond you grew of him.

“Kazuuu,” you squeeze his hand “come on, we have something to do, right?”

Not letting go of your hand for even a moment he leads you along the hallway, eventually stopping outside one of the classrooms.

“So, like, you can totally say no if you want but I’d be hella happy if you helped me out with this.”

You frown slightly, a little befuddled on what kind of request he’d be asking of you. “Kazunari, you don’t have to beat around the bush. I’ll understand.”

Nodding and looking more sure of himself, Kazunari continues. “I’d like to paint you.”

You tilt your head in confusion. “Don’t you already do that without asking me? I’ve seen your sketchbook, I’m totally okay with it.”

“This is different. I need to submit a painting of something or someone that’s my muse, so I wanted you as my model,” he explains, silently watching your expression change as you grasp the whole situation.

Avoiding his gaze, you look away from Kazunari. “Muse? So- so that means inspiration, right?” You stammer slightly, imagining how frazzled you must look already. “Wait I’m- are you sure it should be me? I’m not really…” you trail off, unsure of what reason you were going to give at the end.

When he says your name you look back up at his face. “I’m being legit here, you inspire me more than you know. It won’t feel right to paint anything else when you were the first thing that popped into my mind.”

Your eyes widen at his serious declaration. It’s not everyday Kazunari gives you such a straightforward and earnest compliment to that degree. Despite your initial embarrassment, your heart swelled up with joy; watching his shoulder’s ease up made you realize that he was probably waiting for a reaction out of you. At this point, it was impossible for you to reject his request.

“If you’ll still have me, then you can paint me.”

Kazunari’s eyes light up again, expressive and sparkling, before opening the classroom door to lead you inside. “Thank you, and like obvi! Why wouldn’t I wanna show off my sunshine to the world! My baby! My go-“

You let out a huff of amusement as he continued to spurt out pet names for you. Looks like he was back to normal?

When he lets go of your hand you finally take the time to absorb the room. It was obvious it was an art-centric classroom, from the numerous easels, art supplies, and artsy clutter scattered around the room. You wouldn’t have noticed such a difference between this and the other “painter occupied” rooms if it wasn’t for the set-up right smack in the middle.

It made for a pretty picture- loads of white offset by its nature orientedness. A few potted plants (you weren’t sure if they were real or not) were strategically placed along the area. The white fabric was hung and draped atop what was probably a bunch of easels used as a base frame. Similar cloths were set on the floor, a pillow placed on top.

You have a good feeling, a hunch if you will, that you were meant to stay there; if that wasn’t enough proof, an easel with a blank canvas was positioned directly in front of the space.

“When’d you even get the time to set this up? Are we even allowed to be here?” You question, a little surprised how everything has already been prepared.

“Friends from the photography dept helped me out~ Plus I’m lowkey besties with the prof so it’s ayt as long as we clean up.” He replies, grabbing one of the spare fabrics on the table.

“Can you remove your jacket?” Kazunari steps closer to you; as soon as you unzip the garment and throw it aside he wraps the plain, white material around your shoulders like a makeshift shawl or blanket.

You know it’s for the portrait, but there was something domestic about the simple act that made your heart race. He stepped back, smiling at you and looking self-accomplished.

“Huhu I can’t- my baby’s so pretty? How is this possible? Like an angel, no, a deity!”

“Kazu-“

“My venus~ wahh, I need so many pics? Do I have enough space? Do I post on InstaBlam or-”

“Kazu!” You interrupt, your cheeks flaring up in embarrassment. It was literally a white drape! Still, it was always nice when he complimented you, no matter how extra he went about it, so you didn’t have the heart to complain— after a year, you knew he was always genuine with his praise to you.

“We should probably start with the painting, right? We don’t wanna stay too late.” Kazunari perks back up and you briefly watch him choose between paintbrushes before you sit down on the floor.

How do models figure this shit out? Where does your leg go? How do you angle your face? How much tilt was too much tilt? Even the way you sat down was suddenly making you conscious— should you sit cross-legged or on your heels? Legs stretched out or tucked in?

You fidget in place, picking at the stray threads of the cloth beneath you. Should you just let Kazunari do his magic and hope he somehow makes you look good? After watching him from the corner of your eye he drops his paintbrush back in the mug.

“Beb, the vibes are off. I was being legit when I said you looked good, but you look like you’re thinking too hard.”

“Sorry, I can’t figure out what pose works.”

He crouches down in front of you, quietly looking over your awkward form. His hands take action in moving your body, nudging the arm that laid limp on your lap to lay flat against the floor behind you. Then his palms are on your legs, positioning the left thigh atop the right so that your knees faced front and the soles of your feet faced the side.

‘Okay, don’t be weird about it’ you tell yourself, despite hyper-focusing on the ghosts of Kazunari’s fingertips barely seeping through your jeans as they settle on your chin, gently moving your head to the side and tilting it downwards.

Kazunari narrows his eyes, simply staring at your face without a word being uttered. A part of you almost wants him to break into his trendy-speak again if only to give you time to shake off your sudden bashfulness.

“We Gucci! You still look distracted though… oh! Can you think about something that makes you happy?”

Maybe it was because he suggested it, or maybe it was because he’s your boyfriend— either way, the first thing that popped into your mind was Kazunari.

Settling into university was tough, but you had worked so hard to get accepted into Veludo Arts that you could look past the taxing work handed by the professors. Aside from the workload, you came to really enjoy studying here— you learned first hand how talented your peers were, and that motivated you to work harder.

During one of the campus’ exhibits your eyes were immediately drawn to the canvas with a Japanese painting style. Even from afar you could tell the artist was incredibly talented, but the closer you got the more you were able to see the tiny details and how purposeful every stroke was.

‘The devil truly is in the details’ you thought, looking at the exhibit label card beside the painting.

“Miyoshi Kazunari, 2nd-year student…” you read out loud, wondering if he had more works you could look at around the school.

“I heard my name just now~♪ Could it be, I have an admirer?” You immediately turn around to face a guy with blond hair and green eyes, keeping steady eye contact with you as he grinned.

Cute as he was, you might have totally ignored him if you hadn’t absorbed what he said.

“Hello, you’re Miyoshi-senpai, then?” You ask, trying to hide your disbelief at how he just popped up out of nowhere. Had you been staring at the painting that long that you lost awareness of your surroundings?

“The one and only~♪ You like the painting?”

Abandoning your bewilderment you immediately shifted into admiration mode. “Definitely! I thought the sparse use of colour was genius, particularly how certain parts of the painting got bolder colours than others. Not only that but the title! You think it’s literal at first, but it’s actually a double entendre! I also-“

Your rambling gets caught off by your new acquaintance chuckling, looking infinitely amused by you. You feel pinpricks on your cheeks, deliberating if you had gone too far with your praise or not.

“Kouhai, you’re so cute~♪ If you ever need help, just DM me, alrighty? I’ll always answer ya piko☆”

It had started out with you asking for his advice or to borrow materials, but somehow someway a couple of selfies and hundreds of DM stickers later the conversation shifted to topics unrelated to art.

You had eagerly begun looking forward to seeing the green circle beside his icon as he logged in to tell you about his day, whether it be something he did at Mankai or some crazy shenanigans with his friends.

Becoming close friends with Kazunari, to getting asked out by him, to dating him— you’d be lying if you said the past two years would be just as enjoyable if he wasn’t there to celebrate with you.

The sound of your name made you escape your daydream, being met with the sight of the blond in front of you.

“Were you calling me for long?” You ask, smiling as he pets you on the head.

“Nah, but aside from some deets the painting’s done now!” Even though the easel was turned to you, you still stand up to take a closer look.

Leave it up to Kazunari to make a human look so… pure? Angelic? How’d he even make you look so good? It was almost as if he had put a dreamy filter over you. As expected, even though he said there was still work to do, the tiniest of details were present— from the creases of the fabric hung behind you to the slight discolourations of the monstera plant beside you.

However, easily the most impressive thing about the whole portrait was the look on your face. The slope of your eyelashes as they shaded your eyes— averted with a faraway look to them, as though enchanted by something unseen to the viewer. The corners of your lips lifted your cheeks, a closed smile holding onto words unspoken.

So that’s what you looked like in love.

“What were you thinking of here, my muse?” Kazunari breaks the silence, and when you turn to face him you notice he’s not looking at the painting. You don’t break the eye contact.

“Were you… musing about me?” He teases, though it’s a little lacking in spirit. You don’t fail to notice— neither the lower timbre of his voice nor the gentleness of his eyes escape you.

Even with all his eccentricities, you and Kazunari aren’t too dissimilar when it comes to love.

“Yeah, I was thinking about you.”

The look on his face was something you wish you could capture in a photo or painting yourself, a medley of unpreparedness, joy, and adoration. You can’t stop your small laughter when he literally clutches his chest.

“OMG my heart, I’m so? You’re so?” He takes hold of the cloth around your shoulders and pulls you closer until the only thing you can focus on is the brilliance of his green eyes. You could look only for a few seconds as he stretched his head forward and pressed his lips against yours.

The kiss was sweet and inviting, not unlike the first they shared months ago. Kazunari’s lips were warm and he tasted faintly of the candy he always liked to stock in his bag. After a moment, he brings both hands up to your cheekbones, cupping your face like he was savouring you.

Then he drops his chin, breaking off the kiss and pushing you away a fraction, so he could look into your eyes.

“Sorry,” he says with a small laugh, “Just can’t believe that expression was all for me, you know?”

You pout, poking his side. “And who else would I think about? I only have one boyfriend, Kazu.”

“Oh? Does that boyfriend happen to be a good kisser?” Kazunari asks playfully, his eyes crinkling with mirth, “I bet I’d be a better kisser~”

“Is that so?” You reply with a raised eyebrow, slowly erasing the distance until you were but a breath apart from touching. “Would you like to prove it?”

The intimacy of the moment was both strange and wonderful. You tilt your chin slightly and he immediately took it as the cue to lean in and kiss you again, drawing your lower lip between his with a light suction. If the first was gentle if not a little energetic, this time he kissed with an unexpected passion and confidence.

It was clear that missing each other plus the accumulation of little moments this afternoon led to this moment.

Kazunari traces one hand over your cheek, down your shoulder, back up again. His fingers come to rest at the back of your neck, sending a slight shiver down your spine, his thumb playing idly along your jaw as he works his mouth against yours and in the back of your head you realise the fabric on your shoulders had slipped some seconds ago. Eventually, you pull yourself closer, until you were flush against him.

Kazunari releases your mouth and starts kissing down your jawline. He presses his upper body over yours as he settles in to tease and nip at your earlobe, murmuring your name, the sensation against your ear making your whole body tingle.

You could only whimper in response as he attacks the outer shell of your ear, beginning to get overwhelmed by his warmth and his smell and you burrowed against his sweater, trying to lose yourself in all of it. At this point, you were just trying to steal as much of Kazunari’s loving warmth as you could.

You tighten your grip on his clothes when he grazes his teeth against your neck; then his lips were on yours again and you readily opened up to him, swirling your tongue against his.

When the need for air came desperately, you took to a slower pace until eventually coming to a halt, loosening the grip you had on him. You don’t immediately open your eyes, collapsing against chest once more to catch your breath. You only look back up when Kazunari lets out a loud snort that turned into a fit of laughter.

“I forgot we were still on campus for a sec,” He says, gently squeezing your forearms. You step backward, making yourself look presentable, though it serves a bit of a task without a mirror to guide you.

“We should probably clean up and leave.”

Kazunari lets out a thoughtful hum, and you can already see the grin creeping upon his lips. “Yeah, we def should… unless?”

want to order again?

#a3!#a3! act! addict! actors!#a3! kazunari #kazunari miyoshi #cafe: dessert menu #a3! game #a3! actor training game #a3! x reader #reader insert #kazunari x reader

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