#and once again we’re back to cas using lisa as a vessel

[dreamertrilogys]

you know how venom possessed eddie’s (ex) gf and then kisses him directly on the mouth. yeah so castiel supernatural should’ve done that

#.txt #and once again we’re back to cas using lisa as a vessel #spn #venom

[autisticandroids]

anyway ok so lets talk about ruby SPECIFICALLY in my good s6 au. this ruby concept is almost the same as @lesbiansamwinchester‘s ruby lives au but has some key differences, mainly ruby doesn’t redeem herself in s5. lucifer raises her in sympathy for the devil because she really was the best of those sons of bitches and she deserves it but she spends all of s5 conflicted in her loyalties because while she really DOES want lucifer to win she is also In Love With Sam, Unfortunately, and gets more and more uncomfortable with sam being lucifer’s vessel and shit. and then she finally betrays lucifer in like, two minutes to midnight or swan song and he IMMEDIATELY kills her (very important: lucifer must already be possessing sam when this happens). then she’s brought back like. face down in a ditch 300 miles away. that’s how ruby ends season five.

anyway watch this video to set the mood. ruby stuff in season six:

- so at FIRST she is actually running around with a ragtag group of lucifer loyalist demons led by meg. meg kind of hates her for betraying lucifer for sam but also you know sam’s dead and ruby won’t do it again and most importantly they need EVERY pair of hands on board for this. so ruby is kissing huge amounts of ass mostly meg’s, like, meg is making her wait on her hand and foot in an apron. it’s comically villain homoerotic. you know. like ruby serves meg tea in a maid outfit for no other reason then as like. ridiculous humiliation that’s also intensely, weirdly horny. like the lucifer crowley dog stuff in s11. actually meg literally makes ruby wear a dog collar with a little tag that says like, “ruby. if found, please call 666 and return to owner (meg).” i cannot stress enough that this is just STUPID horny for NO reason. you guys know what i mean. it’s basically sorority hazing but up to eleven because demons, and also forever. also meg makes ruby kiss her hand at least once. or like no she makes her kiss her boot. i am having too much fun i’ve gotten distracted.

- ruby finds out sam is alive and immediately ditches. like she just fucks off to nowhere and they can’t figure out where she went. anyway this samruby reunion takes place like, before the first episode definitely, maybe a few months.

- i do like @lesbiansamwinchester‘s thing where ruby tries very hard to be sam’s moral compass but also imo she fucks up, very bad, and a lot. and soulless sam can’t really catch her at it so they end up doing a lot of very fucked shit actually. but she tries very hard because she cares about sam and she wants him to think well of himself y’know. and she wants to be someone who sam would think was worth following.

- re: that last point. many thoughts. head full.

- when sam and dean finally see each other again ruby is there and dean is like what the FUCK. like he did see that she betrayed lucifer for sam at the last minute but also he hates her and doesn’t trust her, and he actually kind of suspects that whatever’s wrong with sam might actually be HER fault. 

- this post is relevant.

- okay but i’ve decided that the cas/meg kiss DOES in fact happen in this au because i do kind of love it and also more importantly, with the addition of the insane meg being ruby’s shitty ex vibe that i am jamming into this au with both hands, it is just. chefkiss. ruby and dean look at each other in horror while sam is just like huh? i’m sorry but imagine being ruby and being forced to watch your horrible ex get kissed dommily by castiel. god this is funny i love this. again this is all in subtext because we are imagining cw censors and i’ve used up my one allotted gay kiss for the season by having anna make out with a random woman at an orgy to prove that all angels are degenerate pansexual hedonists, you know. (is this homophobic enough for the cw? i hope so!) also: an orgy which balthazar organized and cas refused to attend, to be clear. 

- dean is actually garbage enough about the whole ruby thing that sam and ruby fuck off by themselves for a good while like, maybe three or four episodes, leaving dean alone or sometimes with cas. during this time dean gets a little bit involved with the angel revolutionaries.

- anyway when sam gets his soul back he’s like, torn, between dean and ruby. he feels guilty for how he behaved towards and thought about dean but he would ALSO feel guilty just kicking ruby to the curb.

- HOWEVER when he gets his soulless memories back he does kick her to the curb because she has done some REALLY fucked up shit while trying to be his moral compass like she is BAD at it.

- once ruby is left all alone in the world, guess who shows up in a flutter of wings and ambiguity! it’s anna! 

- she is here to ask ruby if she wants to spy on hell for the angel revolution. ruby accepts because everyone else hates her right now. if anna wants to take her in under cas’ banner (and not tell the winchesters because they’re technically on the same side but what’s a little subterfuge between friends) ruby will take it.

- ruby and anna DO get to have some fun agent runner/agent lesbian subtext, as a treat! at least when anna isn’t busy eating food out of lisa braeden’s fridge like villanelle and other nuts things. 

- like i do wanna be clear anna just. appears in lisa braeden’s kitchen, slowly, wordlessly eats her leftovers while staring her down, and then flies away. this contributes to lisa’s impending mental breakdown. MY season six is about the madness of the suburban housewife, among many other various things.

- also i want to be clear that raphael’s side is actually like, funneling weapons to the lucifer loyalist demons to try and get them to defeat crowley but it’s all very hush hush, like, raphael would NOT want his underlings to know that he has organized this, like, they can barely stand to work with naomi. the fact that raphael had naomi organize help for DEMONS is unthinkable. anyway it’s basically celestial iran-contra.

- ruby is actually one of the last people to stick by cas even when like, anna and balthazar are betraying him, because like. whomst among us has never wanted to become god a little. and also, ruby is weak to authority figures we KNOW this she might be down to accept cas as her heavenly father a little, she’s NOT a rebel. but most importantly she sticks by him because, you know, i love sam and he’s mad at me for kinda betraying him and you [REDACTED] dean and he’s mad at you for kinda betraying him like we’re all winchester derangement syndrome patients here, and also like. i get it. sometimes they don’t know what’s good for them. sometimes in order to love you have to betray a little bit.

- ruby doesn’t turn on cas until he breaks sam’s wall. but by then it’s too late and there’s nothing she can do really.

- the parallel where it was dean who stabbed ruby in lucifer rising and it’s sam who stabs cas in the man who knew too much is actually intentional this time and WAY more aggressive. actually there are tons of cas-ruby parallels. i think meg should call ruby a whore like one episode before crowley calls cas a whore just to hammer it home. i think the thing where soulless sam runs away from dean’s judgement and is running around with ruby while dean is sulking about it but also running around with cas is super aggressively obvious. god i love that ruby’s existence makes it super obvious that cas is dean’s [REDACTED]. that’s so fun. 

- this has been an intensely hypertextual romp and it’s apparently nearly fifteen hundred words, good god. anyway, special thanks to @lesbiansamwinchester, @pietacastiel, and @seragamble, all of whom brainstormed with me

#spn #good s6 au

[nancylou444]

I forgot if i sent it to u or someone else so i'm sending it again anyway

Please Read this to the end and then judge me.

I do not understand at all why you and all other anti destiels dont ship destiel and think that dean is straight and i hate you for that from the bottom of my heart. i mean cant you see how dean truely loves cas and gives no shit about Sam, his brother?and also jensen and writers ship it.

You are so stupid and do not deserve to live in this world period

Read this list below.it may help you take off your anti destiel colored glasses and Accept the truth:which in fact is that Destiel Will become canon.

Reasons Why Destiel Will Definitely Become Canon Before The Show Ends 101:

1.Jensen Ackles: Destiel Doesn't Exist.

2.Jensen Ackles: Because Dean is a lover of the LADIES.

3.Dean will always choose SAM over anyone else.

4.SAM and Dean are soulmates.

5.Castiel: you chose EACHOTHER.

6.Jensen Ackles' Unscripted Frustrated look into the camera in "Fan Fiction" episode.wink wink

7.Jensen Ackles: there wasn't a whole lot of dean and cas storylines in season 9.personally,i kind of enjoyed that.

8.Jensen Ackles: i think the whole dean and cas thing has gotten a little out of proportion.

9.Jensen Ackles: "destiel is real" is it?? Where?? Where is it real??

10.Jensen Ackles: What? What castiel? Nah just me and my pies!

11.Jensen Ackles: We sit down with the writers in a couple weeks. It boils down to these two brothers, that’s the core and the heart of the show, their journey, their fight for each other.

12. “You are homophobic if you don’t ship destiel!"

13.Dean Winchester is fuckin Straight.

14.Eric Kripke : I'm just really interested in guys, STRAIGHT guys who have a tight friendship,they are really fun to write...

15.Dean Winchester: I'm Dean winchester.i enjoy sunsets,long walks on the bitch and frisky WOMEN.

16.Dean Winchester : I dont swing that way.sorry.

17.Dean winchester : yeah sorry again pal i dont play for your team.

18.Dean sold his soul for SAM.

19.Dean died so that he could meet with Death and get SAM’s soul back which of course Castiel left in hell.

20.Dean gave away the Impala and was willing to die with a Croatoan infected SAM.

21.Dean breathed in the poisonous smoke, so that he would die with SAM.

22.Dean wanted out of an AU with Mary and Jessica alive, because AU!SAM didn’t like Dean that much.

23.SAM and Dean made promise to each other, made vows to each other really, in a church.

24.SAM and Dean choose each other over the world, anything, and everything, EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

25. Dean refers to SAM as though HE is his spouse (”does he want a divorce?”, “Lucy”...)

26.Dean would rather live in a world WITH demons than live in a world WITHOUT SAM.

27.When Dean forgot everything else, including his own name, he still remembered SAM.

28.Dean : I can’t do it without my brother, I don’t want to 

29.Dean to Sam :You’re the ONLY one who could’ve talked me out of it 

30.Dean to Sam :There ain’t no me if there ain’t no YOU.

31.Dean to Sam :“Because whatever we have between us, love, family, whatever this is, they’re always going to us it against us.”

32.Dean to Sam: “You’re my weak spot SAMMY, and I’m yours”

33.Dean or Sam i dont remember: “All that matters now, all that’s ever mattered, is that we’re together.“

34. Dean to Sam :“Don’t you dare think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you!“

35.Dean to Sam : “I made you a promise in that church, you and me, come whatever!”

36.The canon friendship between Dean and Castiel is toxic and borderline-abusive, full of lies, threats, insults, abandonment, beatings, and betrayals.

37. Sam, possessed by the devil himself, took control of his own body and beat Lucifer because Dean was there, because Dean didn’t give up even though he was hurt and covered in blood, because seeing Dean bombarded Sam with the memories of their life together.

38. Dean didn’t leave SAM’s bedside , didn’t bury him, didn’t burn his body, didn’t want to say goodbye, and how later he didn’t hesitate to sell his soul.

39.Dean decided not to go into a box, because SAM asked him not to.

40.SAM and Dean were the ones whom were mistaken with gay couple by several people if that matters.

41.SAM to Dean :“you always put me first. Your whole life”,

42.Dean to SAM: “I know where I am at my best, and that is right here, driving down crazy street next to you”,

43.Sam or Dean i dont remember:“you know what brought me back? You did”.

44.Dean’s siren-as admitted by the siren herself-was a copy of SAM.

45.Dean told a male cop "you're awsome".OMG!! He is bi!!!

46.Dean fanboyed over a male tv character.Holy Chuck!! He is bi!!

47.Jensen or Jared:“At its core, it’s the story of two brothers.”

48.Jensen or Jared:“At the end of the day, this starts and stops with the brothers.”

49.Jensen or Jared:“When it comes down to it, it’s about these two brothers.”

50.Dean told Castiel to get the hell outta bunker for SAM while he knew he didnt have his angel powers.Damn! Dean truely loves Cas!

51.Dean figured Castiel was too far gone to be convinced back into their group and bound Death to do their bidding. Dean’s order to Death was to kill Castiel where he stood.#couplegoals

52.Castiel blackmailed Dean by torturing SAM.oh dear god!!! What a True Lover!!

53.Castiel Betrayed sam amd DEAN with crowley.but that's what all lovers do Right???

54.This isnt some romantic show.

55. Castiel is a genderless celestial wavelength of light wearing a male vessel.

56.Dean's chemistry with Baby the Impala is far more noticable than the one with Castiel.

57.Sam even once asked Dean and Baby the impala to get a room.

58.The possibility of Dean and Baby the impala to get sexually involved and the two of them having sex in the finale full frontal is far more than the possibility of non existant Destiel to become canon.

59.Destiel shippers are only a tiny minority of the SPN fandom.

60.Jensen Ackles is fucking done with this shit.

61.Dean left Ben and Lisa for SAM.

62.Misha Collins is the only one who queerbaits.

63.Dean in "red meat" described SAM as the man he loved.

64.Dean sang in a colorful background.OMFG!! he is bi!!

65.Jesen ackles : because being with his BROTHER and doing that is the happiest he is.

66.Dean to SAM: "because i couldnt live with you dead"

67.What show you've been watching???

68.Jared : because that would have RUINED the show to make it about something it wasnt about.

69.Dean has kissed and had sex with an angel.her name was Anna

70.Sera Gamble said “supernatural is the epic love story of SAM and dean”

71.Cw_supernatural IG: it has always been two brothers and the open road.

.

.

.

*Manic laughter*

*Aggressively drop the mic*

*The door is over there*

*Boom! Suck it*

*It sucks to be destieheller*

You are very welcome

Btw I'm a Proud anti destiew and a logical SPN fan.

If You think I'm right,then Chuck bless your logical souls and if not,let me find some fucks to give....sorry,none was found.

The begining part was an example of a savage destieheller.it wasn't me😊ignore it.

Yours truly,anon.

=============================

Holy crap, that is one longass ask. An ask I was thisclose to deleting until I skipped to the bottom. 

💖💖💖💖💖

#i love my anons #destiehellers #destiew #dean is as straight in november 2020 as he was in september 2005 #jensen does not like destiel shit #Anonymous

[incarnateirony]

If we're looking to puzzles in past seasons, how about Zach's installation of false memories / fake selves in S+D in It's a Terrible Life? How much of it is Zach (or the show) just fucking around for fun? And how can anyone after watching it think Dean is heterosexual, or that the show thinks he is? I'd love to see analysis of all the parallel universes, false futures etc together that looks at what those eps are doing, from What Is and Should Never Be to French Mistake to The Trap

I imagine this is a followup to the time travel ask (x) which I will link here too, because it’s still important, even if this example itself is not time travel. I actually went into the OP and edited in a segment saying honestly, Time Travel takes more Universal Power than Created Spaces, from what I’ve witnessed in Supernatural.

I’m actually going to avoid the “Dean het/bi” argument here for once because, while I do espouse that Dean is now canonically bi via a series of low visibility text, the most textual nail being driven in during Last Call, I generally give that old era I just don’t see the same kind of genuine queer coding. The few episodes they crop up in tend to be Edlund’s and they were an entire universe away from modern Bobo+ episodes in delivery, and I’m just... going to go “nahhh, if you use that as part of what you see by all means, but I’m not about to dive into that with any kind of intent here.”

I did also during my edit point out some stuff in the Trap:  That is to say though, that according to this model, there IS still a future out there written somewhere that Dean had to bury Cas in a Malak Box, got overwhelmed by depression, literally gave up, turned into a monster and killed everyone he loved with Sam until he too died. But Not This Sam, Not This Dean.

But to go into the one of false memories and fake selves, we actually go closer to my Thought Boxes experiment. (x) 

Unlike The End and Edlund, we lack any kind of creative commentary or even text in the script itself to vaguely IMPLY this was an actual alternate timeline. But all timelines happen within Thought Boxes (see link) that have time installed (as opposed to many heavens being delineated/not having the Swiss Watch installed like Chuck’s worlds, but Chuck isn’t the only one that can perceive of an order.)

This is where things get a little warpy for people: stop thinking of angels as their vessels for a minute. Does Cas properly own his now, is it his own body, yes. But beyond Cas, or even before Cas had his living period(s) (which is actually a great deal of why he’s so thoroughly invested in the human perspective compared to his peers), I need people to realize that “wavelengths of intent” thing is important as fuck.

The faces we see are vessels to interact in a timeline with. They are functionaries, even if some proverbially hit a button like Anael. They are designed to pull out tasks within a universal structure, and also have lesser powers (by scale of their general grade/type) reflective of the divine that created that one. But just like Michael couldn’t actually snap his fingers and nuke them all in Dean’s Thought Box, I gesture at for example Dark Side Of The Moon where while Zachariah mocked them, he actually couldn’t pull out ubermoves on them, and couldn’t find them when they disappeared into Ash’s Thought Box. Because in here, we’re all just mental projections. And in here, we’re all the same. So you can’t. Don’t play God’s game, make him play yours. 

We also find out that God had wiped Sam and Dean’s death memories in heaven before, not too unlike Castiel did Lisa and the kid later. Memory manipulation is nothing new.

This seems like a bizarre aside to approach little things like It’s A Terrible Life in, but it’s actually key to nail in. Also, I don’t know how many of you have watched Agents of Shield, but this may help people: When uploaded to the Framework from Aiva’s system rather than an independent one, people completely had their memories messed up. This all actually applies a similar idea. And yet really, think of this as uploading to different worlds. When the Immortal Human Soul, which is timeless, is Uploaded to Earth, they also don’t know anything about their Immortal Past. Now, put a Thought Box inside a Thought Box. Be that Dean thinking he really did own a bar, or Sam thinking he’s a phone center operator, the uploaded individual to the Thought Box does not necessarily retain all they should know, even if things eat at them as right or wrong in the scale of it all until they unlock their true nature.

It’s A Terrible Life is not too different: from MichaelDean’s headbar, from Castiel’s zoned out reality with Lucifer, or whatever else. It is an alternate created space the souls have been packed into, resetting what they know despite what they Know. It too is a venture--if less immediately visibly philosophical--about the (re)discovery of the self. 

Now, in It’s A Terrible Life, respectively Zachariah was God (despite actually working on behalf of god Outside of the Terrible Life Thought Box). He designed the entire system and story and rules and regulations for them to play in, a thought box, and one he could directly intervene in, unlike in The End. Power flowed back to Zachariah in this box.

ADLER stands up and presses two fingers to DEAN's forehead. Everything goes from saturated color to dim. DEAN looks around at the office and himself.

DEAN What the hell? Why am I wearing a tie? My God, am I hungry.

And he directly influenced how their bodies reacted, such as the fact that Dean somehow felt fine eating rabbit food rofl.

DEAN Gross. No thank you. So, what? I'm just hallucinating all this? Is that it?

ZACHARIAH Not at all. Real place, real haunting. Just plunked you in the middle without the benefit of your memories.

One might argue this infers that it is a real place *on this earth*, on which neither side actually has receipts as much as “conclusion majority jumps to.” -- In the very least, Zachariah directly impacted the body-cage and its memories and function. But also for Sam and Dean to have been enrolled there, he would have had to do it to an infinite chain of people in their path that wouldn’t notice the new chief of marketing and everybody on the floor knowing Sam and all the weird influences in those people’s lives too. Which again is why I point up to how CENTRAL this Thought Box idea actually is to Supernatural, and how very much Zachariah’s “real place” is just as likely, with all other functions we’ve seen, just like any other Real Place that the characters call Not Real. It isn’t real to Them. Because it’s not their lives and their stories. It doesn’t have their people.  

It’s somewhere in an infinite ocean of thought boxes, possibly one created by Zachariah himself since he is literally positioned as a CEO there. Which is... honestly, if you get past the mental hiccup of thinking outside the (thought) box, a far easier resolution to this entire scenario than Zachariah butterfly effecting half the planet just to troll Sam and Dean. And even if he DID do that, there Is the reminder of wavelengths of celestial intent, and how easily Chuck reset the planet’s state of knowing, but Zachariah as a general angel (kerubim by his description of himself) and not God Himself would have limits in that authority, so making a divergent box makes far more sense.

This was when use of Matrix and Baudrillard and whatever else was fairly young in the show, though, so while I can’t swear that was 100% the intent when it was *made* (and again, unlike The End, we have no creative commentary on this that I’ve found), as Dark Side of the Moon came a season later and evoked it, Carver deployed it a few times, and now Dabb Era quite centrally hovers around it, in the very least modern canon and all its evolutions would easily lead to this result.

[lifblogs]

Livin In You: Chapter 11

Fandom: Supernatural Pairing: Destiel Rating: Explicit Chapter Word Count: 2130 Summary: Castiel is a mental health worker who is just fine with the way his life is. The only thing that really bugs him is how much his co-worker, and friend, Meg, mentions Dean Winchester, the most famous rock star in the modern age. Meg drags him to a concert, and he ends up getting tied into the wild and angsty life of Dean Winchester. Suddenly his old life seems boring, but so much calmer. Suddenly, it matters to him that he's still a virgin. Suddenly, this rock star that he despised the mention of, now matters to him. Dean Winchester is a rockstar who's on top of the world when it comes to music. Yet there's more that he wants. He misses Lisa and Ben, he craves connection, craves being himself. Any hope for that amidst his alcoholic life all changes when Zachariah, the head exec of Heaven's Records, pairs with a new exec, Michael Edlund -- the Archangel of Music. Under Michael's dominance, he's no longer in control of his own life. There are rules.  CHAPTER 1 | CHAPTER 2 | CHAPTER 3 | CHAPTER 4 | CHAPTER 5 | CHAPTER 6 | CHAPTER 7 | CHAPTER 8 | CHAPTER 9 | CHAPTER 10

READ ON AO3

Castiel didn’t go hide in the closet. No, he was not going to do that. He wasn’t some teenage boy who’d snuck into his boyfriend’s room and now had to hide because their dad was checking up on them. And he certainly wasn’t going to treat the situation that way.

But Dean was anxious. He had had a slight flush to his cheeks, had seemed to be breathing with his mouth open a bit more.

So Castiel listened to him for now until things could get explained.

He stayed in the bedroom, away from the doors in case his silhouette would be seen. But he stayed close enough to listen in.

Castiel didn’t even stop to ask himself why he was listening in, or if he actually wanted to stick around after to figure out just what the hell Dean Winchester had gotten himself into.

He just listened.

“Michael, wow,” Dean’s voice came from the other side of the door, growing quieter as he walked away. “I can’t believe I actually get to meet you, the Archangel of Music.”

An easy laugh left the other man, and Castiel decided he did not like it. It wasn’t dread that he felt, knowing this wasn’t his situation to deal with, but there was something off about that laugh, like it had been practiced. What kind of person needed to practice a laugh? In Castiel’s mind, that just spoke of someone being either nervous or maliciously in power. He knew it wasn’t the first option.

“Can’t believe they call me that,” he said. “No need for any of that here. I just wanted to see you with my own eyes. I’ve heard about you non-stop since I joined with Zachariah. You wouldn’t believe the praise he has for you.”

Dean sounded cautious and disbelieving when he said, “Oh, really?”

“Now that I see you, it’s like you’re practically made for me.”

“Excuse me?”

“To work for me. Perfect rock star image, and your music is just genius.”

“Oh, uh… thank you.”

Sam cleared his throat — he seemed to do that a lot when he was uncomfortable — and then asked, “Uh, can we get you anything? A drink?”

“No need. I sent my assistant out to get me a cucumber mint lemonade. All the rage a few months ago with some of my other friends, and I still just can’t get enough.”

The way Michael had said other friends made it sound as if Dean was already his friend too. There was a sense of forced ownership there. Listening to it made Castiel feel uneasy. This was bordering on abuse. Maybe it already was and he just didn’t know how deep it went.

Did all celebrities live like this? Were they all abused by the industry?

God, it’d make sense.

“Oh, those are good,” Sam said, breaking the silence that Dean had seemed expected to fill. “You try any of those kale smoothies?”

There was a quiet sound of displeasure. “Kale’s uneasy on my stomach. You get me, right, Dean?”

“Uh… um… yeah. Yeah. So that the contract?” he asked.

“Sure is. Details what you can do and what you can’t do, what work we expect from you, and your increased pay.”

There was a shuffling of papers.

“So you’re saying I actually can do stuff?”

“Of course,” Michael replied, his tone suggesting Dean’s question had been absurd. Castiel didn’t buy it. “I don’t know what Zachariah told you—”

Dean’s tone was low, dangerous, as he said, “Oh, he told me plenty.”

There was silence, but it was dripping with tension. Castiel wished he could peek his head out the door and see what was happening, observe the body language.

“I don’t know what kind of sick fetish you have,” Dean went on, “but I’m not one of your other toys. You don’t own me.”

“So you won’t sign it?” That laugh again. “Come now, Dean, you’re not a toy. Think of it as you being my vessel. I use you to give the people what they want. I reside over them as an… archangel. You get it?”

“So you’re gonna use me and live through me?”

“That’s a harsh way of putting it.”

“It’s a harsh way to do business.”

“Fine. Then you don’t want to make music?”

“You know that’s not what—”

“He’ll sign it,” Sam said, cutting Dean off.

“He telling the truth?” Michael asked. “You want to sign it, or is that just him speaking for you?”

Dean’s voice was a rough growl as he said, resigned, “I’ll sign it.”

“Excellent. End of the day, alright, Dean?”

There was a noise, a grumbling of assent, and then Michael was making his farewells.

After the door closed something banged against it. That might’ve either been Dean’s fist or his head.

“How is this legal?” he asked.

Sam offered, “You want me to do some digging?”

“I don’t know. Whatever.” Then he called, “Cas, it’s safe to come out! The evil overlord is gone.”

Castiel tentatively left the bedroom, feeling as if there’d been a weight against the doors. The air out there seemed heavier, laced with tension. A part of him hadn’t wanted to come out. But he did.

Dean slammed a packet of papers down on the counter.

“Cas, come on. We’re going for a drive.”

“Is that really a good idea?” Sam countered.

Dean brushed past Castiel to go into his room and get his keys.

When Castiel looked back at him, he was shrugging.

“I don’t know,” Castiel said. “Maybe I should get back.”

“No, I got you into this mess, I can at least try and make up for it. Come on, we can do whatever you want: stop for lunch, get some drinks, uh… whatever else people like to do for fun.”

“Dean—“

“Calm down, Sam. We’ll both wear hats and sunglasses. No one will know.”

Dean shuffled through a drawer, put a hat and sunglasses on, and then came over to do the same to Cas. A darkly-tinted Dean beamed at him as Castiel pushed the sunglasses farther up the bridge of his nose.

Castiel strangely found himself wanting to agree to all this. He even wanted to find out more about him, what made him tick, what the contract was about, who Michael was, why Sam was trying to have him be careful.

But Meg…

He’d gone with her to Kansas City. He couldn’t possibly go traipsing around it while knowing she was on her own. What kind of friend would that make him?

“I’ll have to talk to my friend,” Castiel said. Dean’s face began to fall and he added on, “Before we go out. Besides, you promised me a new phone.”

He’d meant the last sentence to be joking, if it needed to be, but Dean took it in stride.

“I sure did.”

Dean took Castiel by the elbow, which startled Cas, but after last night, he supposed their barrier for intimacy had already come down. He had Cas start walking with him to the door.

“Dean, I don’t know what I can do if Crowley or Zach hear about this.”

Dean said to his brother, “Then do something now. Go figure out what the hell is up with that thing they want signed with my blood. Alright, Cas. Let’s go.”

Tension seemed to bleed out of Dean once they left the room, and the celebrity just stood there, taking a few deep breaths.

“Are you alright?” Castiel asked, not sure what he would even do if Dean was honest with his answer. What could he do? What was even appropriate?

Dean ignored him, just started talking about their plans. Castiel let him do it for now, knowing that Dean Winchester wasn’t a good person to push. Besides, if Castiel was in a situation that seemed as abusive as that, he wouldn’t want to open up to some stranger he’d met the night before.

“So, how about I get you that new phone, then we check on the car, maybe get some lunch after.”

Castiel just looked at him, questioning, wondering. Why was Dean doing this for him? Was it a sense of guilt? Should Castiel just decide to not go through with this?

Was he just a distraction?

The answer to that was something that would probably hurt under deeper scrutiny, but he decided to ignore it, his curiosity and need to help getting the best of him. Besides, Castiel was interested in other people and how their minds worked. Seeing the mind of a celebrity was something any mental health professional would surely kill for. There weren’t any books for this stuff. It was new territory, and territory that his field certainly didn’t talk about.

Besides, it wasn’t every day that a cute guy asked him out to lunch.

Really? he chided himself. That’s what’s important to you?

“What’s wrong?” Dean asked, noting Cas’ silence as they walked through the halls to the elevator towards the back of the building.

“Nothing,” Castiel lied.

He wasn’t about to tell Dean his thoughts, even if they had talked so openly the night before. Why should he tell Dean his thoughts? It wasn’t as if he wasn’t ignoring Cas’ questions either.

Once they were in the elevator, Castiel asked, “Do you usually do this?” Dean just raised his eyebrows in question, and Cas swallowed roughly at that look. He suddenly regretted asking him that while they were in an elevator. It was large, as far as elevators went, but it still managed to keep them close to each other. Maybe too close.. “Go out with fans,” he eventually clarified after clearing his throat.

Dean grinned, and there was a rogue-ish light in his apple green eyes, matching his smile.

“Are you admitting you’re a fan?”

“No.” Dean chuckled at Castiel’s words. “Definitely not,” Castiel went on.

“Denial!” Dean sang.

Castiel just blushed, not sure how to handle this situation.

“I’m gonna make you a fan,” Dean said.

The elevator dinged! They were on the ground floor. The doors slid open with hardly a sound, and then Dean was taking Castiel out through one of the back doors to the parking garage.

“Why is me being a fan so important to you?”

Dean just turned, studying him. Their eyes met, and Castiel tried to read what was in those beautiful green depths. But he couldn’t. Dean wasn’t an open book, and though Castiel knew people from an outside perspective, he wasn’t sure what was going on here.

One side of Dean’s mouth turned down in a frown.

“I don’t know,” he eventually responded. “Come on. We should hurry. I don’t want to be seen.”

“What’ll happen if you are?”

“You really want to talk about that?”

“Do you want to talk about it? You seem incredibly on edge, stressed…”

“Thanks for the diagnosis, Dr. Phil.”

They hurried through the dark shadows of the garage, and Castiel was wondering how the hell Dean was fine seeing with those dark sunglasses on. He nearly tripped over his own feet, yet Dean was walking as smoothly as ever.

They made it to his Impala, and Castiel stared at the vehicle before getting in. Anger began to boil in his stomach at the fact that Dean’s car was fine, and Castiel’s wasn’t. They’d have to pick up his car, make sure it got the repairs it needed.

Castiel slid into the passenger’s side, Dean already in the driver’s seat. He put the key in the ignition, and twisted it. The Impala started purring and rumbling beneath them. As far as the sounds cars made were concerned, this one could almost be described as soothing.

“You won’t be spotted in this?” Castiel asked as Dean started pulling out of the parking space.

“Only the rabid fans know I drive it,” Dean said.

“And what about…” Castiel didn’t know how to ask, so he trailed off.

They were making their way out onto the busy streets.

“What about what? Spit it out, Cas.”

“Michael, that man he mentioned, Zachariah — I’m assuming they know what kind of car you drive. And Michael sounded… pretty serious” — nice understatement, Cas — “so I just want to know if you’ll be okay. You didn’t take your bodyguard with you either.”

Dean sighed, as if he didn’t really want to talk about it, but then he opened his mouth to explain, “I didn’t take Clif with me because then my manager, or whoever else has their ears to the ground, will know for sure that I’m out and about.”

“You make it sound as if they intend to keep you as a prisoner.”

Dean shook his head, face furrowing, growing serious. His jaw clenched. “It sure as hell feels that way.”

#Destiel #Destiel AU #rockstar!Dean #rockstar!Dean/Castiel #Destiel fanfiction #Supernatural #Supernatural fanfiction #spn #spn fanfiction #fanfiction #writing #my writing

[spnjediavenger]

Chapter 15: Insurance

Chapter 15: Insurance

Disclaimers: i do not own supernatural or any of its characters, nor do i own jenny; i only own elliana and anaya

@sarimaposthumous helped write some dialogue between ellie and lucifer and also the ‘flashback’ at the high priestess. And also proofread. Thanks babe <3

Time frame: Season 11-12

Warnings: angst; TRIGGER WARNINGS: brief implied sexual assault in recap, implied suicide attempt at very end (last few paragraphs) with blood mentioned

Notes: glad to be back in the swing of writing again. It took me awhile to get into this chapter and was only able to write a couple paragraphs at a time so it might suck but here it is anyway!

Please leave comments! Thank you for reading! <3

THEN

“Sam, Dean. Good to see you again. And who’s this with you? New travel buddy? I’m Lucifer, though I’m assuming you already knew that,” the devil said, talking directly to Elliana now. “What’s your name?”

“Go to hell,” Ellie said coldly.

“Oh, I just got out of there, sweetheart,” he easily countered.

“Don’t call me sweetheart,” she spat, taking a challenging step forward. Sam and Dean pulled her back, causing Lucifer to smirk.

“I like her,” he said to the boys. “Feisty.”

“Lucifer,” Ellie said a bit distastefully, though her heart dropped to her stomach. “What do you want?” she snapped.

“Now now,” Lucifer tisked. “Damon, here, wanted to just kill you. But I had him bring you here instead. So you should really be thanking me,” Lucifer said, nodding as he continued. “I thought we could chat a bit – get to know each other.”

Lucifer put his hand on top of Elliana’s head, grasping it.

Ellie blacked out for a second before a mixture of images and feelings flashed across her mind. Her parents lying dead on the ground; falling to her knees, scared, and awaiting her death; Running fearfully from a demon; starving on the side of the road with no money left to afford a place to sleep; and-

Ooooh, what’s this? Lucifer’s voice practically purred in her mind - and Ellie could hear the smirk in it. Let’s play with this a little.

“You’re too weak. You’re powerless. There’s nothing you can do to stop me,” the vamp smirked. He fed off her until she passed out.

The rest of that day was filled with feelings of fear, powerlessness, and struggling. Her body being overtaken by his. Whatever innocence she had left from her last run in with him being stolen from her.

“All I know is that damn demon that killed her folks somehow found and possessed her, poofed her to Ohio, and dropped her off with Lucifer. He messed with her head then my contact found her. Crowley said she hasn’t said a thing since. Just been up in her room, huddled in the corner, terrified. My contact doesn’t know what Lucifer did or made her see - but she said Ellie won’t even let anyone touch her.”

NOW

Pain. That was the first sensation Elliana felt. She didn’t quite wake up; she didn’t breathe first. There was just pain. And she couldn’t tell which was worse - the physical pain, or the emotional pain.

Ellie had been writing in her journal when Garth came upstairs. “Hey Ells, I hate to pull you away before dinner but do you think you could make a quick diaper run? Jim had to go out and I was gonna help Bess feed the pup,” he asked. Elliana was more than glad to go out. It was good timing, too, since Anaya was due for a walk.

On their way, Castiel had appeared looking worked up. As soon as Cas had appeared, Anaya turned around and pricked her ears up apprehensively.

“Cas? What are you doing here?” Ellie asked cautiously, wondering why the angel would come to her since she was on hiatus from hunting; and even more so without calling or texting her first.

“Sam and Dean are in trouble and require your assistance immediately. If we had another option we would take it but you are the only one available.”

Once Cas spoke, Anaya quickly stepped in front of Ellie and lowered her ears and growled lowly at the angel.

“Anaya, what’s wrong with you?” Ellie asked, thoroughly confused. “It’s Cas!” she said, extending an arm towards him. Anaya took a challenging step forward and bared her teeth, snarling now. Elliana took these cues and pulled her angel blade out of her jacket, gripping it in an offensive position towards ‘Cas’.

“Who are you?” Ellie challenged.

“I know I’m in a different suit and all, but you still don’t know me?” the imposter said with a smirk. Their irises flashed a bright red and Anaya wasted no more time in lunging forward at Lucifer.

“ANAYA, NO!!!” Ellie screamed, trying to grab the dog’s collar. It was unsuccessful.

Lucifer flicked his wrist and it was done.

Anger, sadness, depression, fury, confusion; every emotion flashed through Ellie suddenly and all at once, sending her flying at Lucifer, angel blade pulled back to stab him in the chest but instead was met with two fingers to her forehead that sent her into a deep rest.

“Wake up, Ells!” a loud voice sneered, sending a splitting headache through Elliana’s skull. She squeezed her already closed eyes, now wet with tears, and turned her face into the floor; she now realized she was laying on a cold cement floor. A foot pushed her onto her side and she groaned, planting a hand on the floor to ground herself.

Cas- Lucifer paced idly around Ellie with a smirk as she roused, taking pleasure in her contorted face and bruised body.

“Have a nice nap?” he quipped, smirking still.

Elliana, face still turned into the pavement, said to him in a cracking voice, “You killed my dog. You killed Anaya.” She took a pause to let out a silent sob. “Why did you come for me? I’m not even hunting right now.” The girl now pushed herself up begrudgingly, every limb sore, and sat up against the wall behind her. “And I’m warded,” she continued. “How did you find me?”

Lucifer chuckled a bit, as if it was a silly question. “Jenny led me to you, of course,” he said. Ellie still was unnerved with Lucifer in Cas’ vessel; speaking in his voice.

The girl scoffed a bit, eyes still closed. “Yeah, right. Why the hell would Jenny do that to me? Especially when she was the one to get you away from me in the beginning.”

Cas-Lucifer gave the girl a smug look. “Oh, she never told you? That was all just a show. Jenny and I have quite the romance going on,” he smirked again (which Elliana was quite frankly getting sick of).

Ellie finally opened her eyes to squint at Ca- Lucifer. “Why would Jenny be with someone like you?” she spat. “The one that tortured me? She’s like a sister to me, and I’m one to her. And she was the one to help me get Sam back so you weren’t let out of the cage again.”

“Ohhh that little trip. Did you like her little nickname for me?” he said, ignoring her common sense.

Jenny scoffed at Crowley. “Do you really expect us to believe you want the Winchesters back in action? I’m sure business has been booming since they shoved Luci back in the cage and Dean hooked up with Lisa.”

“That whole trip was a pretty good coverup, minus the nickname slipup. That little ‘favor’ she owed me for letting you go? She had to get me out of the cage. But it turned out not to even be an issue for Jenny; she wanted me out,” C-Lucifer explained, still pacing in front of Ellie.

“No...no,” Elliana said, slowly shaking her head. “I don’t believe you. Jenny would never do that to me,” she continued, though her voice shook with emotion. She couldn’t help but think about what Lucifer was saying. Every cell in her body reminded her that he was the father of lies. He was just trying to beat her down. But how else would he have been able to find me? She thought. The guys don’t know where Garth’s place is and I turned the tracker on my phone off. And I’m warded so Cas/Lucifer wouldn’t be able to find me...and Jenny does keep tabs on a lot of hunters…

C-Lucifer smirked deeper, sensing the uncertainty in her. “Let’s go back in time then.” He approached her and lifted a hand towards her head, making her push herself further into the wall. “Don’t worry,” he soothed. “We’re not going to your past,” he continued, kneeling down and putting a hand on her head. “We’re going to mine.”

The two end up in The High Priestess to see Jenny on her laptop at the bar. Lucifer is standing next to Ellie with his arms crossed. Lucifer, who looks like Nick again says, “I took the liberty of changing into Nick for this little show-and-tell as opposed to your little winged friend.”

Ellie turned to see Castiel enter the bar and Jenny looked up at him, slightly taken aback by this handsome stranger. “Welcome,” she says. “Can I get you anything?”

“Just a whole lot of you,” Cas winks, his eyes turning red before blinking them back to normal.

“Lucifer!” Jenny exclaimed before leaving the bar and pulling him into a hug. He grabbed her face and pulled her into a kiss. Next to Ellie, Lucifer snapped his fingers and she saw the Castiel next to Jenny transform into “Nick.” Ellie looked at Lucifer who shrugged.

“Sorry, I couldn’t bear to see that goody two shoes angel all over my girl,“ he emphasized to Ellie to try to prove his point.

“You’re finally out of the cage!” Jenny exclaimed but took a step back to look him over. “But why do you look like this?”

“I just had to ride this vessel out to get out of there as fast as I could; I couldn’t wait to see you, babe. Not that you did much to help seeing as I was in there long enough. It seems like you didn’t even try to free me.” He stepped towards her almost menacingly, pulling a fake pout.

Jenny bit her lip and her shoulders slumped. “I’ll admit, I gave a half-hearted attempt to try to free you, but Ellie got me to try and help her free Sam and it was hard to do both without her knowing….” Jenny crossed her arms, looking at Lucifer who almost looked dejected. “And after you tormented her, how could I turn around and be with you again?  I was just so torn.”

Lucifer pulled Jenny’s arms around him and held her. “So, you’re saying that without Ellie, we could be together? No uncertainties?”

Jenny slightly pulled back to look up at him, “Honestly, yeah. She’s a reckless girl who can barely keep it together to hunt properly. I’m always stuck worrying about her and yet again I am sacrificing my happiness for her,” Jenny sighed and put her forehead to his chest.

He brushed his fingers through her hair. “Don’t worry Jenny. I’ll take care of that brat for you.”

“You will?” Her question was muffled by his chest.

“Of course. Anything for you, babe.”

The Lucifer next to Ellie snapped his fingers and they were transported to Jenny’s room. They could see the two of them kissing and Ellie could tell where this was going.

“Enough!” Ellie barked, turning her head away. Lucifer was leaning against the wall watching the scene intently.

“Oh come on, this is the best part.” Ellie turns around, grabbing her hair in her hands. Lucifer sighed and said, “Ugh fine. Prude,” and snaps his fingers, taking them back to reality.

“Do you believe me now?” Ca-Lucifer asked. “She knows how much I hurt you but she still wanted to be with me. I almost hate to say this but her relationship with me seems to outweigh your safety and friendship. Guess she wasn’t who you thought she was after all. Which is all the better for me.”

Elliana closed her eyes again so Ca-Lucifer. It’s Lucifer! she had to remind herself. She closed her eyes again so Lucifer wouldn’t see the tears building up. She didn’t want to believe what she saw but...for some reason she did. And it broke her heart.

“So why haven’t you killed me already?” she asked through gritted teeth.

“What’s the fun in that?” Lucifer asked, acting shocked at the question. “Besides, I need to have something over the Winchesters when this whole battle-against-the-darkness thing is over. Don’t worry, I’ll check back regularly,” he fake-assured her. “If I can’t, I’ll have Damon do it,” he continued, his smirk reappearing. “But first, let me just take a little picture to show them...there we go.”

Then, he snapped his fingers and vanished; leaving Ellie with only her mind. And that was just about as bad as being stuck with Lucifer.

Sam and Dean were in the library of the bunker, reading through lore to try and find anything and everything on the Darkness. Sure, they had Lucifer’s eventual help, but they still needed a game plan. Both boys’ phones buzzed at the same time, Sam’s once - indicating a message, and Dean’s ongoing - Garth was calling.

Sam opened the message, seeing it was from Cas, and saw it had a picture attached but was taking time to download.

Dean picked up the phone and Sam glanced up at him when Dean greeted him.

“Woah, Garth - slow down, man. Ga-Garth! Calm down! Now, slowly tell me what’s going on,” he commanded, initially unphased by the lanky hunter fumbling over his words.

As Garth began explaining things to Dean, Sam glanced down at his phone again to see the picture from Cas had finished downloading. His heart dropped to his stomach when he pulled it up.

“Dean-”

“Sam-”

The brothers spoke over each other, frightened looks on their faces and they looked back at one another. Sam held his phone up for Dean to show him the picture. Before either of them could utter another word, the bunker’s door opened and slammed shut again. Cas sauntered down the iron stairs, his posture in itself an indicator to the boys that Cas was not the one driving at the moment.

The boys abruptly stood up, each pulling out their angel blade, and faced Lucifer.

“Now, now, boys, do anything with those little sticks in your hands and you kill your angel buddy. I don’t think you want that, do you?” he taunted.

“What did you do with Ellie?!” Sam and Dean yelled simultaneously.

“She’s safe. For now,” Lucifer said, crossing his arms with a smirk.

“What do you want?!” Dean asked, still wielding his angel blade. He knew it wouldn’t do a thing against Lucifer but he had to have some kind of defense.

“Elliana is...insurance,” he said. “I just want to be sure when this whole mess is over you don't do anything to send me back to the cage. I won’t do anything to her if you leave me be.”

Sam straightened up, still clutching his angel blade. “Yeah? And how do we know you won’t hurt her anyway?” he asked, not believing a thing Lucifer said.

“You don’t,” he answered right away. “But do you really want to take that chance?”

“Cas, come on; help us out, man,” Dean begged, voice still rough.

“Oh I’m sorry, Cas isn’t available at the moment - would you like to leave a message?” Lucifer said smugly, fully enjoying this game.

The brothers stood down, giving each other woeful glances. For now, there was nothing they could do.

Back in the cement cell, Elliana paced rapidly, running her hands through her hair.

This can’t be happening, she thought. I finally got away from it all. I was healing through therapy, I had a family life with Garth and his family, I was going to earn my degree soon. I was away from hunting.

Then her thoughts began to get darker, realizing what she was bound to be in for. Torture, extended solitary confinement, more traumatic memories connected with Lucifer and Damon.

No, Ellie thought once more. I can’t do this again.

Frantically looking around the room again, having already looked for ways out, her eyes stopped at the small mirror hung on the wall. Her heart clenched at the thoughts crossing her mind but her fear won control and she threw her fist at the mirror, shattering it into pieces. She took a moment to look at her broken reflection on the floor before picking up a piece of glass. The last thing she remembered was the warmth of the blood running from her throat and the fluttering of wings.

Chapter 16 ->

#supernatural #Supernatural fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #spn #spn fanfic #spn fanfiction #spn fandom #Sam Winchester #sam and dean #Sam and Dean Winchester #dean winchester #castiel #lucifer #Garth Fitzgerald IV

[leafzelindor]

Real, Or Not - SPN Fanfic

Sam Creations Challenge / Ultimatetrollcolinfirth

↳Prompt:  {Variation} Crazy!Sam {Word} Trust

Month Theme: Emotions

Sometimes he wondered what was him. Was he really Sam Winchester any more? Did Sam Winchester still exist inside of him? The real one, the one who had been born to Mary and John Winchester. The one who had grown up admiring his older brother and been so proud to get into Stanford with a full ride?

What had happened to the Sam who had loved Jessica? Who had wanted to be a lawyer and help people?

He didn't know any more.

Sam stared at his hands quietly and just turned them over. They’d already been so many other people’s hands. He’d been a killer, he’d been a lover. He’d been a brother. He just wanted to be Sam.

“Sammy?” Dean’s voice started him and he half looked up, blinking. Dean looked happy, It was weird, and it was good, and he also felt a flicker of fear.

“You’re not Dean,” he said sharply, he was rewarded with a laugh and suddenly another face, a far too familiar face was before him. He rubbed his hands against his eyes and shoved that one away. And then he was alone again. He shivered and shifted to lay himself down. To try and focus on something else. Something away from him, away from here. Sterile and white and lonely.

“Sam?” A soft tap. “It’s time for your pills.” He sighed heavily at that. The orderlies here were all so nice. But they couldn’t possibly understand, they couldn’t do anything to stop it. “Sam? Or is it Gadreel today?”

“It’s Sam.” He said quietly now, shivering as he made himself sit up, turn around to face the heart shaped face of the woman who usually brought his afternoon meds. She was the most patient, the most understanding. Sometimes he thought he knew her. He wasn’t sure why. She smiled and moved over to offer him the little plastic cup. The cup that held his antipsychotic medication. At the very least it helped him sleep, even if he still saw things, lost himself.

“Bad day?” She asked with a smile as he took the pills and knocked them back, he then reached for the little bottle of water to wash them down. He let her check to make sure he’d swallowed. He always made sure to, if he didn’t then Lucifer decided to come and bother him, not letting him sleep. He’d tried, oh he’d tried not taking them. It wasn’t worth it.

“...yeah,” he put the empty bottle down and then moved to lay down once more.

“You should come down to the main room Sam. I bet today Jimmy is there,” she coaxed now. Meg. Her name was Meg. Somehow that seemed right. He didn’t ask though he knew her nametag said something else. Sam stared at the wall across from his bed in utter silence for about 30 seconds now. He didn’t want to see Jimmy Novak right now, he knew that the angel inside the man was trapped there and it was painful to him.

“Just a suggestion, think about it. Come down if you think you want to socialize.”

He could hear her moving now, picking up the tray. Meg wasn’t this nice unless she wanted something from  you. What did she want with him? Not just to be social.

“She wants in your pants, like they all do.” He tried to push down that voice. That voice was the one that made his skin crawl the worst. The things Lucifer had done to him. He curled up a little bit now. “Ignore me all you want Sammy, you know it’s true.”

“Go away.” He hissed to himself, knowing it was pointless, until the medication really kicked in, Lucifer would just hang out and taunt him. That face, that smug voice, the promise of dragging him back into the cage again.

The therapist he was required to work with was sure that this cage was all in his mind, that he’d been in some sort of prison situation and his mind had warped it into Lucifer, Michael, Adam and the Cage. That he was using those visions to protect himself. He knew it was real, all of it, even this. Lucifer was in this room with him, right now.

“I am cutie pie and I won’t be going anywhere. I wish I could touch you again. You always cried so pretty for me.”

Sam shifted and pulled the pillow around his head. It didn’t really muffle the taunts but it certainly made him feel better, temporarily. Somehow, he was able to fall asleep even if his dreams were all a mess this time.

//

“Sammy.. Sammy come on. I didn’t come out here to stare at your back.”

Dean was the constant. Dean never changed. Sam didn’t know why his brother tried to come see him as often as he did. He had his own worries, his own life. Sam sighed quietly and then made himself sit up, then after a moment looking up from the sterile white of his bed to his brother in the doorway. Looking tired and yet so alive. Sam swallowed now.

“Hey Dean…” He said a little thickly. “How are you?”

“Missin my little brother.” Dean glanced over his shoulder. Nurse Meg was there she just nodded and motioned for Dean to have a seat, then she moved to step away. Dean quietly tugged the plain chair near the door at the small table and sank into it with a flop. “Nurse Joy out there says that you’ve had a run of bad days….”

“He’s been here.” Sam said glumly. Meaning Lucifer. “I had to…..Get away.” That was what he called it when Gadreel was in control and he hid in his own mind.

“But it’s Sam right now right? All yourself and nobody else?” Dean asked quietly as he watched his brother. Sam flinched, knowing that Dean had been so used to what had happened to him that it didn’t even surprise him when Sam started to fracture to pieces.

“Yeah,” the word was soft and Sam just felt so, lost, scared, wrong. “S’Cas with you?” “Castiel? I think he’s in the public meeting room,” Dean said smoothly, Sam wondered if it was just humoring him. He knew Castiel had saved his brother from hell, just as he knew that the angel would watch over him. Castiel chose to stay trapped here and watch over Sam, he didn’t have to but he did. Sam sighed and moved to stand.

“Let’s go see Cas,” Sam insisted now and then he moved to push past Dean, for the first time in a week willingly heading for the group therapy room, which during visiting hours often had visitors and games set out. Today there was a movie on the tv, but his destination was Castiel, sitting over by a window with a game box in front of him. Castiel’s blue eyes were bright as he looked up at the brothers.

“Hello Sam, Dean,” he said very politely as always. It was cute how nice he was.

“Hey man,” Dean nodded and moved to sit, he shifted to get his phone out. “Want to see the new pictures I have of Ben?” He grinned as he offered and moved to tap about on the small screen.

Sam twitched faintly as he sank down. Why was he still with that woman? Didn’t he know that it was dangerous to have a family? They’d be taken away, the demons would find them. He was quiet though as Dean showed of pictures of Ben, a cute kid, about ten years old who looked like a little version of Dean himself. Castiel smiled at that and then sighed.

“I got a new picture of Claire.” Castiel said, carefully patting the trench coat he wore over his issued cotton outfit. The only thing that made him different from the rest of the patients here. Sam watched him pull out a new looking photo of a pretty blond girl. He knew that she wasn’t Castiel’s daughter really. No that was his vessel’s, Jimmy Novak’s, daughter.

“She’s getting big.” Dean said with a nod now and smiled at Castiel. It was a polite smile. “How treatment?”

“They don’t believe I’m an angel,” Castiel shrugged and then he looked at Sam. “That I am trying to protect Sam….”

“I told you they wouldn’t,” Sam said now and then he shrugged and tugged over the game box and he started to open it up. “Let’s play a game.”

He pretended not to notice when Doctor stepped over and asked to talk to Dean. His brother quietly excusing himself and stepped away. Sam took a breath and startled as Castiel’s fingers settled over his, giving a gentle and quick squeeze. “It’s all right Sam.”

“Is it?”

The reply was soft and almost lost. He looked into bright blue eyes. He knew what the doctor was saying. Sam wasn’t getting better. Neither was Castiel. They’d come in almost the same time, and neither had improved much, though the medication did keep the worst of his own voices away. Castiel never ever answered to the name on his paperwork, he said that only Sam understood what he was. He wasn’t surprised that anyone else didn’t believe them. Most of the staff humored them, but they both heard the whispers.

“We’re going to escape,” Castiel promised now, his eyes bright. “I’ll get us out of here, I’ve spoken to the other angels….”

“I need my medication though,” Sam whispered softly. “You know it’s the only way I can keep him away.” He swallowed hard. He couldn’t let Lucifer come back. He’d done bad things when Lucifer had gotten into his head. He couldn’t face it again. He shivered a little bit.

“Hey Sammy.”

Dean’s voice was behind him now and he swallowed. Sam slowly looked at his brother, not sure what he was going to say. “Yeah?”

“Doc thinks it might do you some good to take a day trip. Come home with me to see Lisa and Ben.” Dean smiled at him. “He says your meds are really helping….”

“No,” Sam said sharply, standing up, not quite listening to how the chair clattered behind him. “I can’t, I’ll put them in danger Dean. He will know they are there and he’ll send the demons and they’ll hurt them. I can’t.” His words tumbling out of his mouth. He only fell quiet when Cas’ hand curled around his and he could sense the warmth of the angel’s wings curling around him protectively. He swallowed now. “I, I don’t want to.” Dean paused and his eyes flicked to Cas and then back to Sam and he nodded, stuffing his hands in his pocket. “Okay Sammy. It’s fine. Another time maybe.” He nodded, giving that smile that said he was just tolerating Sam’s outburst to placate him. Sam turned and buried his face into Castiel’s neck. He wanted Dean to leave. He couldn’t see him like this. He felt a broad hand slide over his back and he just clung to the trench coat hanging from the other man’s shoulders.

“I think it’s time you went, Dean.” Castiel’s voice was rumbly and protective. Sam took a sharp breath and then closed his eyes. He was safe like this. Nobody could get him. Castiel was a Seraph, he’d protect him. They stood like this for some minutes before Castiel gently nudged him back. He lifted his head and sighed, just letting his forehead press into the other man’s.

“Jimmy, I need you to step back.” It was one of the orderlies, Jim. Sam didn’t want to let go of Castiel, he didn’t like that they were using his vessel’s name either.

“Please, Jim just let me take him to his room. Then I will go to mine, I intend no trouble.” Castiel’s voice was a quiet rumble. There was a pause and then Sam assumed that Jim had nodded because Cas was nudging him to turn around and Sam did. They walked quietly now, Sam clinging still to the edge of the angel’s trench coat, at least until the doorway of his room. He slowly pried his own fingers off of it and stepped in. Letting Jim move over to give him a dose of a sedative. Castiel remained in the doorway even as Jim left and Sam sank onto the bed. He knew he was safe, with Cas watching over him, nothing could get him. Not Lucifer, not anyone else.

“Sleep well, Sam,” Castiel whispered now, and then there was a flutter of wings as Sam’s eyes sank closed. One day it would be okay. One day. After the end of the world, he’d be able to rest again.

#samcc #supernatural #my writing #sam winchester

[charlie-minion]

Dean’s cards

Dean has used the “family” card with Cas many times. Sometimes he’s used it when talking to Cas himself, and sometimes Cas hasn’t been present when Dean’s said it. In season 11, Cas was told by the angel Ambriel and Amara that he was expendable; he even let Lucifer possess him because he felt that way. If he got himself killed, “no big loss” as Ambriel put it. We know Dean didn’t feel that way about Cas because we saw him; we saw his desperation to get Cas back since he found out Cas was possessed. However, Cas never saw any of that. That’s why when season 12 started Cas still wasn’t sure whether he belonged or not.  

This is what he told Mary in 12x03:

MARY: Castiel? After you left heaven, when did it start to feel like… like you fit, like you… belonged here?

CASTIEL: Well, I’m still not sure I do.

It was really painful to think that after so much Cas has been through with the Winchesters, he wasn’t sure of his place in the family. The good thing was that season 12 was meant to correct that. It was a season for Cas to understand once and for all that he’s not an expendable tool to the Winchesters, especially not to Dean. 

However, to explain how and when exactly Cas realized that he did belong, let me show you all the cards Dean has used with Cas and how meaningless or meaningful they have been to help Cas feel welcomed and loved or not.

The first time Dean told Cas something that had to do with family was in season 6. The problem was that it seemed to be a privilege given under certain terms. If Cas didn’t do what Dean wanted him to, then he wasn’t family at all. To be put in the category of “family” he had to conform. There was no unconditional love for Cas at the time and Cas felt it. This was the interaction between Dean and Cas in 6x20:

DEAN: Look, next to Sam, you and Bobby are the closest things I have to family – that you are like a brother to me. So, if I’m asking you not to do something… You got to trust me, man.

CASTIEL: Or what?

DEAN: Or I’ll have to do what I have to do to stop you.

Cas understood the condition behind the so-called family label. “If you don’t do as I say, I’ll have to kill you if it’s necessary to stop you.”

That first use of “family” didn’t work at all. In fact, it totally backfired two episodes later when Dean used the “family” card for the second time. This happened in 6x22:

DEAN: Listen to me. Listen, I know there’s a lot of bad water under the bridge, but we were family once. I’d have died for you. I almost did a few times. So if that means anything to you… Please. I’ve lost Lisa, I’ve lost Ben, and now I’ve lost Sam. Don’t make me lose you too. You don’t need this kind of juice anymore, Cas. Get rid of it before it kills us all.

CASTIEL: You’re just saying that because I won. Because you’re afraid. You’re not my family, Dean. I have no family.

Of course Cas felt he had no family. Dean said “we were famiy” as in “we’re not anymore because you stepped out of the condition I’d given you”. A person is supposed to be loved without “ifs”, and at that point, Cas knew Dean’s offer of “family” didn’t come free of conditions. Besides, let’s notice that Cas wasn’t using the plural “you” when he said “You’re not my family”. He was using the singular “you” since he addressed Dean directly by name.

After everything that happened in season 6, it took a lot for Dean and Cas to reconstruct their relationship. Dean didn’t try the “family” card again in a very long time. However, when his feelings were too overwhelming, he made use of two different cards: “home” and “I need you”. He used both cards for the first time in Purgatory, in 8x02:

DEAN: Cas, we’re getting out of here. We’re going home.

CASTIEL: Dean, I can’t.

DEAN: You can. Benny, tell him.

BENNY: Purgatory has an escape hatch, but I got no idea if it’s angel-friendly.

DEAN: We’ll figure it out. Cas, buddy, I need you.

CASTIEL: Dean…

DEAN: And if Leviathan want to take a shot at us, let ‘em. We ganked those bitches once before. We can do it again.

CASTIEL: It’s too dangerous.

DEAN: Let me bottom-line it for you. I’m not leaving here without you. Understand?

CASTIEL: I understand.

This was the first time Dean Winchester decided to show Cas unconditional love. Dean wasn’t getting anything in return for trying to save Cas. On the contrary, they didn’t know if their escape hatch was angel-friendly, as Benny said it. Taking Cas with him was dangerous for Dean, but he didn’t care; he just knew that he would not leave Purgatory without his angel. He didn’t use the “family” card, but the cards he chose along with his actions were a lot more meaningful.

The third time Dean used the “family” card was in the crypt scene in 8x17. Cas was being mind-controlled and Dean was trying to break through before Cas could actually kill him. We all remember the words:

DEAN: Cas. Cas. I know you’re in there. I know you can hear me. Cas… It’s me. We’re family. We need you. I need you.

If you notice, Dean used the “I need you” card for the second time, too. It wasn’t the first time Dean had said those words to Cas. The first was in Purgatory and Cas knew Dean wasn’t getting anything in return back then. Dean honestly meant how much he needed Cas, just as in the crypt scene Dean wasn’t just begging for his life, he was actually confessing he needed Cas. He used the “family” card after almost two seasons because this time there wasn’t any condition attached to the label. Maybe that’s why this time it worked. Cas listened, and Naomi’s control was broken.

The third time Dean used the “I need you” card Cas didn’t hear him. It was in 9x01 when Dean was praying to him without knowing that Cas was human.

DEAN: Cas, are you there? Sammy’s hurt. He’s hurt, uh – he’s hurt pretty bad. And, um… I know you think that I’m pissed at you, okay? But I don’t care that the angels fell. So whatever you did or didn’t do, it doesn’t matter, okay? We’ll work it out. Please, man, I need you here.

That was the first time he used a new card as well, the “we’ll work it out” one. This time Dean didn’t want his words to sound like his feelings were attached to a condition. He wanted Cas to understand that the fact he might have messed up regarding the angels fall didn’t really matter to Dean; Cas still meant a lot to him… Dean still needed him and he knew they would find a way to fix things as they always did. It’s a shame Cas didn’t hear him!

The fourth time Dean included Cas as his family, Cas wasn’t there to hear either. Dean was talking to Kevin in 9x02:

DEAN: Because you’re family. After all the crap we’ve been through, after all the good that you’ve done… man, if you don’t think that we would die for you… I don’t know what to tell you. Because you, me, Sam and Cas, we are all we’ve got. But hey, if none of that matters to you, then I won’t stop you.

Cas wasn’t even present, but of course Dean mentioned him as part of the family. How could he not?

More than two years passed before Dean called Cas ‘family’ again. And Cas wasn’t even there to listen. He was possessed by Lucifer, and Dean was desperate to save his angel. This is what happened in 11x18:

DEAN: We’re not gonna send Lucifer into battle inside Cas. What if he doesn’t make it?

SAM: Dean, it’s a strong vessel. It’s held Cas for years, and we know what he’s been through. I’m guessing it can hold Lucifer.

DEAN: “It”? It’s not an “it,” Sam. It’s Cas.

SAM: And Cas wanted to do this.

DEAN: Yeah, well, there’s times I want to get slapped during sex by a girl wearing a Zorro mask. That don’t make it a good idea.

SAM: Dean, this is exactly how we screw ourselves. W-We make the… the heart choice instead of the smart choice.

DEAN: Oh, okay. Thank you, Dr. Phil. Cas is family.

SAM: Yes, and his choice deserves to be respected.

DEAN: Even if it kills him?

After the audience witnessed Amara and Ambriel saying Cas was expendable, it was refreshing to see Dean acknowledging Cas as family. The only problem was that Cas was called expendable to his face, so he needed to be reassured face-to-face that he was family. No matter how beautiful it was for us to hear Dean say it, Cas wasn’t there to listen. That’s how we got to 12x03, to the moment when Cas himself told Mary that he still wasn’t sure he belonged there (with the Winchesters).

In 12x10, Dean used the “family” card when talking about Cas again, but the angel wasn’t there to hear.

LILY: How did you find me?

SAM: We’re here to talk, that’s it. We come in peace. Just hear us out. We heard what happened to your family.

LILY: My family?

DEAN: See, Cas is our family, so we can’t let you hurt him.

By the end of the episode, Dean was given a choice between saving his life and saving Castiel’s. Cas was there to witness how Dean chose to risk his own life in order to protect Cas.  

DEAN: Don’t move *his hand hovering over the sigil to blast angels away*

ISHIM: Do it. You blast me away, you’ll blast away every angel in the room. I’ll survive. Castiel, on the other hand, he’s hurt. He might live or he might just end up a bloody smear on the wall. Roll the dice.

DEAN: *backs off*

Dean would have never done anything that could hurt Cas no matter how long they’d spent bickering in that very same episode.

All of this was leading to the big moment… the moment when Castiel would finally realize how much he meant to his family, the moment when he’d see he was loved without conditions. The moment he’d hear from Dean himself (and Sam) that Castiel wasn’t going to be left behind. This happened in episode 12x12, when Castiel got hurt and almost killed.

CASTIEL: Crowley’s right. You should go.

DEAN: Cas, come on.

CASTIEL: No, you listen to me. You– Look, thank you. Thank you. Knowing you, it… it’s been the best part of my life. And the things that… the things we’ve shared together, they have changed me. You’re my family. I love you. I love all of you. Just please… please, don’t make my last moments be spent watching you die. Just run. Save yourselves. And I will hold Ramiel off as long as I can.

DEAN: Cas, no.

CASTIEL: Yes. You need to keep fighting.

SAM: We are fighting. We’re fighting for you, Cas.

DEAN: And like you said, you’re family. And we don’t leave family behind.

The seventh time Dean used the “family” card was everything Cas needed to hear. In season 6 Castiel had told Dean specifically that he was not Cas’ family. Now 6 years later, Cas is saying the opposite. Not only is he calling the Winchesters family, but he’s also using the “I love you” card.

Dean isn’t ready to use the L word yet; the closest he got was giving Cas a mix tape. (Dean could say “I love you” to Mary in 12x22, though, so hopefully he’ll be more comfortable with the L word from now on). At least Dean’s continued to use other important cards like:

 Who knows what that crazy man was talking about. Let’s go home. (12x10)

We’ll work through our crap. We always do. (12x23)

It’s true that Cas sort of betrayed the Winchesters when he stole the Colt, but he did it to keep them safe. In 12x19, he called the angels ‘his men��, whereas Dean and Sam were ‘his friends, his family’. There’s a big difference! He started the season not sure of where exactly he belonged, but by the end of it, he was sure of something: he didn’t care about his reputation in Heaven anymore. All he cared about was protecting his family, the Winchesters. By the end of season 12, I’m sure he didn’t consider himself expendable in the eyes of the Winchesters anymore.

The only problem now is that… Cas is dead. We need him back... Dean needs him back ASAP. There are some cards Dean hasn’t used yet, but we’re getting there slowly. Facing the reality of losing Cas might give him another little push in the right direction. Let’s keep our fingers crossed for more than a mix tape in season 13!

#supernatural #spn meta #destiel #destiel meta #deancas #dean loves cas

[spncanonbigbang]

Masterpost 2017

Under the read more you’ll find the list of all the mini and big bangs from this year’s event. Enjoy and see you next year!

| 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020

MiniBangs

Shut Up and Dance, Dean Winchester by Ailuromatron | art by emmatheslayer 8,3k; Teen and Up Audiences; Castiel/Dean Winchester

Dean is not going to think about the way Cas’ sudden withdrawal overlaps with the mental feedback Dean’s been experiencing here. He wouldn’t know what to make of it anyway, whether it’d be ironic or fitting or what. But if Castiel shutting him out turned out to be because Dean is loosening up, letting ideas form in his head more clearly than before—that would burn like a hot blade, and it just doesn’t bear looking too closely. It’s not the only thing tonight that doesn’t bear close inspection for the sake of Dean’s sanity. He damn near trips over his own feet when confronted by the south side of a north-facing Cas—seriously, when and where did he get that pair of ink-black jeans and in what universe is the way they fit his thighs not illegal?—and he’s pathetically grateful for the excuse of a rough patch of asphalt to blame it on when the others turn back to see what happened to him.

Misery & Solace by theackles | art by thruterryseyes 5k; General Audiences; Dean Winchester/Castiel

It’s been a week. One long, painfully numb week. The days went by one by one until Dean didn’t know what day it was anymore. Dean can feel the ache in his bones. He can’t move, he can barely think. He’s gotta get Cas back, even if it means working with Rowena and (almost) killing himself in the process.

A Lesson in Adapting by distortedrain | art by emotionallyunstabl 5,6k; Teen and Up Audiences; Castiel/Dean Winchester

The Winchesters settle into the Bunker and learn to hunt a little less a live a little more.

Fin ad Infinitum (The End Evermore) by AmberAnnh | art by lux-tuli 8,5k; PG-13; Gen

In “The End” Dean got the chance to see the future, zapped to a 2014 where the consequences of his choices had played out. Now, it’s Sam’s turn. Transported from 2009 to 2014, he must grapple with a demonic virus from his past, angels using the remnants of humanity as disposable vessels, the devil in his nightmares, and—perhaps worst of all—why Dean said “yes” to Michael.

If These Rooms Have Memories by KelpietheThundergod | art by malallory 12k; Mature; implied Castiel/Dean Winchester

Sudden light and sound make him flinch, but then, oh—cartoons! Awesome. Except then, the tall man comes over and takes the button-thingie out of his hand and shuts the cartoons off. “Dean, listen. The witches are gone, and they’ve got the Grimoire. We’re gonna do a spell to slow down the curse to buy some time, and then—” The man cuts himself off and his serious expression turns into one of exasperation. “You forgot again, didn’t you?”

Something Special by Durenjtmusings | art by Busy Squirrel 11,3k; General Audiences; Gen

What makes something special? Special enough for people to pay any price, beyond even their lives? Welcome to Lost and Found, Ltd., experts in finding very, very special things. Things that can be yours if you are willing to trade something very special in return. Well, and often even if you aren’t. [Canon-compliant possible backstory for both characters and objects in Supernatural: Dean, Sam, Bobby, Ruby, Jimmy Novak, Daniel Elkins, the Impala, Ruby’s knife, Dean’s Colt, Sam’s Taurus, the Samulet and The Colt.]

Exit: Light by hexmaniacchoco | art by quiescentcastiel 22,5k; Teen and Up Audiences; Gen

Dean, Sam, and Cas are relaxing in the bunker when Sam finds them a case involving three college students who’ve gotten themselves into trouble while playing a summoning game they found online, resulting in a nearly fatal incident. After investigating and figuring out what people are summoning into their homes, they decide to summon it as well in order to kill it. However, things aren’t quite what they seem at first, and a misjudgement of the situation finds TFW with the disadvantage as they walk around a pitch-black bunker trying to search out the creature they’re hunting without mistaking each other for it instead.

Mirror, Mirror by Jerksarehot | art by emmatheslayer 10,6k; Explicit; Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester

A witch with a taste for human souls reveals a secret to Dean before escaping with a promise to return. The boys recruit some help from Bobby to find a way to track and kill her. Dean must now decide if he should tell Sam the truth and risk losing him, or keep his dark secret and risk Sam’s life and his own soul.

The Night Goes By by indigoneutrino | art by Loracine 8,3k; Mature; Gen

It’s a long night when Sam and Dean first arrive at the prison, separated from each other to be strip searched, manhandled and humiliated before being thrown into cramped concrete cells. The nights that follow are longer.

Some Kind Of Monster by Hermit9 | art by Dmsilvisart 6,8k; Teen and Up Audiences; Gen

After leaving the Bunker and the Winchesters, Castiel attempts to earn his penance (again) by tracking down the escaped Lucifer. Crowley tagging along is both a blessing and a curse, the silver-tongued devil an asset during the investigations. If only he didn’t drive Castiel out of his mind. Set during and around “American Nightmare” up to “Rock Never dies”

A Mother’s Love by Leahlisabeth | art by kuwlshadow 5,2k; Teen and Up Audiences; Gen

Mary loves her boys, really she does, but she can’t quite seem to click with Sam. She’ll need to figure it out when a mother’s love is the only thing that can save him from a witches curse.

BigBangs

Always Stuck In Second Gear by ThayerKerbasy | art by dmsilvisart 29k; Teen and Up Audiences; Gen

After Wendy Vincente spilled the location of her brother’s secret cabin, Agents Beyoncé and Jay-Z had a lead to follow. Tracking Lucifer while confined to a pickup truck wasn’t exactly Crowley’s preferred modus operandi, but at least he was in good company.

and by me, i mean us by puckity | art by winchesterchola 16,5k; Explicit; Sam Winchester/Dean Winchester; Very Light Sam Winchester/Castiel

After what they think was just a routine case, Sam starts feelings things that he can’t quite put a name to. Things that aren’t really his but aren’t not his either. So he does what he always does: runs some tests, collects the data, and starts drawing conclusions. And then Dean does what he always does–comes in and tangles everything, including Sam, up. Timelined in early Season 12, prior to “First Blood” (12.09).

Blue Moon Rising by Treefrogie84 | art by Mayalaen 56,1k; Mature; Dean/Castiel, Dean/Lisa Braeden, Castiel/Dean/Lisa Braeden

Dean promised Sam that he would walk away from hunting, walk away from his family, and live some normal apple-pie life with Lisa. He did his best to do that– pulled the weapons out of the trunk, turned his back on Cas and Bobby, started spending his evenings with Lisa and Ben at Little League practice. But monsters don’t stop hurting folks, Hell doesn’t stop being Hell, and Heaven doesn’t start caring about humanity just because Dean’s retired.

Thunder on the Mountain by Skitty | art by kuwlshadow 23k; PB-13; Gen

A string of strange and seemingly unrelated tragedies are plaguing the Appalachian region. Children disappear. Men go insane. Hikers are mauled by large animals. And always…traveling Northward. Sam and Dean pick up the hunt in a small town outside the national forest. The creature they’re hunting is one of legend, feared by the native tribes that once populated the area centuries ago. With the unexpected aide of a strange woman also appearing to hunt the creature, the boys must attempt to bring it down before they lose their minds completely.

An Even Trade by PaperAnn | art by GlitchedWings 42,7k; Explicit; Sam Winchester/Gabriel

You’d think being relentlessly pursued by a tall, dark and handsome hunter would be an exciting game of chase. Until it wasn’t. Gabriel was growing bored of Sam Winchester’s constant tailing, still obsessed with getting his brother back, even though the Trickster was doing the kid a favor by offing Dean, thank you very much. He had to make this entertaining again, this new merciless killing-machine-Sam was no fun. They entered into a deal: Sam would work a case under the guise of a Trickster to see the reason behind the mischief by serving up a case of Just Desserts. If Sam won? He got Dean back. If he lost…well, Sam wasn’t going to lose, no matter the cost. Except, seven days of living on top of one another made Sam see beyond the monster who ruined him and back to the witty, cute janitor he met at Crawford Hall. There was also the problem of the two men, who were clearly attracted to each other, alone in a motel room for a full week. It was an accident waiting to happen. The puzzle was, neither knew who was manipulating who, if it was all a ploy or real emotions were coming out to play. The only thing both men recognized was something real was happening. And they were running out of time.

Lock & Key by MyShipWillNeverSink | art by Gabedrawz 18k; Explicit; Dean Winchester/Castiel

Canon divergent from 9x03. Dean and Cas set off on a hunt as a distraction from the guilt Dean feels for betraying his brother’s trust (again). Things go awry when Castiel falls through a frozen river, and things aren’t at all what they seem.

Build a Home by domesticadventures | art by myukur 20k; Teen and Up Audiences; Dean/Cas; background Sam/Eileen and Krissy/Josephine

After they save the world, Dean expects Cas to come back to the bunker with them. He doesn’t.

What Went Wrong Yesterday by cinnamonanddean | art by stormbrite 16,2k; Explicit; Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester

With Broward County in their rearview and a new case in their laps, Sam struggles to come to terms with the six months he spent alone after Dean’s death - and the fact that it never happened at all. And on top of it all, he now has to deal with the feelings for his brother that have been dragged to the surface.

The Heart of Ophelia by anyrei and mugglerock | art by nonexistenz 39k; Explicit;  Dean Winchester/Castiel

Always throwing himself in harm’s way for the Winchesters, Castiel ends up getting hit with a love curse. Under the influence of fabricated emotions, Castiel learns just how dangerous unrequited love can be. And Dean learns what it means to doubt everything he’s ever believed. They have a week to find a way to lift the curse, otherwise the intoxication of “love” will kill Castiel. Literally.

When Words Fade, Music Speaks by Pinkmink | art by Dreymart 16,9k; Explicit; Dean Winchester/Castiel

The Brits have Dean running ragged all across the country. When Cas returns from his not-so-brief time in Heaven, Dean finds them a case in New Orleans. It’s supposed to feel like a Winchester version of vacation - voodoo, good food and a simple salt and burn. But the trip turns out to be a far more cathartic release than he bargained for.

Fight or Flight by ellispark | art by emotionallyunstabl 23k; Mature; Dean Winchester/Castiel, Sam Winchester/Eileen Leahy

Just when Dean’s started to feel good about his life — the end is not nigh, and his brother and his angel are safe in the bunker — Sam and Cas start keeping secrets from him. It’s not a big deal, at least not at first. Everyone needs to play some things close to the chest. But when Dean finds out what they’ve been hiding, the bubble of carefree happiness he’s carefully placed around his family finally bursts.

Long Distance by grey2510 | art by Marsjay 18,9k; Teen and Up Audiences; Jody Mills/Asa Fox, Dean Winchester/Castiel, Sam Winchester/Eileen Leahy

Losing someone is never easy, nor is having them far away, no matter how often it happens in a hunter’s life. When Jody, Sam, and Dean travel up to Canada for the wake and funeral of Asa Fox, each is forced to confront some truths about family and who is really important in their lives.

Entwined Souls by sweet-sammy-kisses | art by lux-tuli 16,3k; Teen and Up Audiences; Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester

Sam was all prepared to spend eternity in the cage trapped at the mercy of Lucifer and Michael if it meant that Dean would be safe. What no one counted on was Chuck to come back or turn out to be God. With Ellen, Ash and Jo brought back as a thank you gift for all the boys have done Dean and Sam are at a loss of what to do when Chuck announces he is taking the angels back to heaven and closing the gates of hell up. There is one thing the boys both want and that is the one thing they are afraid to go after, each other. But after almost losing each other one too many times they decide to take a chance and now the life of retirement is discovering the next step in their relationship.

Humanity's Angels by Ami Rose | art by sevenspirals 94k; Explicit; Dean Winchester/Castiel, Background Sam Winchester/Eileen Leahy, Background Original Characters OT3

To get their minds off of Kelly Kline, Lucifer, and the BMOL, Dean and Sam take a case in Northern Arizona where a rogue angel was seen flashing his wings at a film festival and ranting about blasphemy. They quickly realize that there might be more to this case than they’d initially thought. The angel fits all the characteristics of being a ghost—EMF readings, see-through body, air chilling ability, and all. A local man is found with his eyes burned out like he was the victim of a smiting keeps them in town after salting and burning the angel’s buried vessel in hopes of dispelling his ghost.

Between all of this, Dean is finding it hard to keep his feelings for Cas under wraps. Especially when everywhere he looks and everyone he talks to reminds him of how much energy he’s spent hiding his sexuality from his family over the years.

Will watching the ghost angel’s grieving best friend mourn the loss of the angel he’d loved spur Dean into confessing his own feelings before it’s too late? Will an angel from Cas’s past be able to succeed where Ishim failed? Who the hell has Sam been texting? Will someone please tell Mary what the hell is going on with her sons? Will any of Team Free Will learn to use their damn words?

#supernatural #supernatural fanfic #spn family #spn #fanfic masterpost #masterpost 2017 #masterpost

[idontneedasymbol]

The trouble with twelfth season?

Under a cut for length and because it gets critical. I’m not hating this season by any means...but I haven’t been loving it, either, and the reason why might be a fundamental shift in the show’s format. To wit -- Sam & Dean are basically being used as supporting characters.

I was one of the many fans who were really excited when Andrew Dabb was handed the showrunning reins. While he’s not my favorite writer on the show (Robbie Thompson vs Ben Edlund in a steel cage match, to the last feel?) he’s been consistently one of the best, with a lot of episodes I’ve loved and a strong sense of the characters that I really enjoy. His characterizations have always been somewhat counter to standard expectations -- from his very first ep with Daniel Loflin, “Yellow Fever,” he likes Sam being a badass and Dean being vulnerable. Which is the polar opposite of the most basic reading, and very much how I see them myself.

Actually, my one fear of Dabb taking over was that he’s take this too far and Dean wouldn’t get to kick ass anymore. Which hasn't been the case at all; instead it's an issue I didn't see coming.

For the entire run of the show, Sam and Dean have always been at center, both in terms of the story and the emotional involvement. This has its strengths and weaknesses -- the show struggles to do truly epic plots, because those require the audience to care about the fate of the world, while in SPN, whatever is happening to the universe, we tend to be more concerned about whether the Winchesters (and friends) make it out of it, because that's where our major emotional investment is. Likewise if you stop caring about Sam and Dean and their relationship, the whole show falls apart, because they, their emotional states and their interactions, are the keystone.

Every showrunner has been aware of this, but all of them handled it differently. Kripke liked to explore slowly building scenarios, in which the audience was kept in the dark as much or more than the boys themselves, being shown graphic evidence of their emotional turmoil but not understanding its source, until the dramatic reveal. From Sam not confessing the source of his nightmares in season 1, to Dean struggling with John's last order, to the demon blood and Dean's memories of hell, to them both being the chosen vessels -- the stories changed but kept you interested, because you wanted to know what was going on with the Winchesters.

Gamble kept up some of this, such as playing out soulless Sam as long as it did. This era also added in an element of dealing with more real-life issues, especially with Dean, between the Lisa story arc of season 6 and his alcoholism in season 7. But the story struggled with resolution, dropping the plot threads and then drop-kicking them far away (especially in season 7), so there wasn't as much of the eventual reveals and emotional catharsis as we'd come to expect from Kripke's run. Season 7 also has a plot that's about as far removed from the Winchesters as it gets; they have less personal stake with the Leviathans than any other big bad, as they aren't responsible for releasing them (and Cas is MIA for most of it) and don't have any special reason to be the only ones who can fight them (why they don't spend the season building a hunter army is anyone's guess.)

Then Carver went in the opposite direction -- his plots are entirely centered on testing the Winchesters and their bond. He was all about the catharsis, but less willing to do the work to build to it; instead he set them at odds from the start. Unlike Kripke, who liked to play out the 'what is really going on in their heads?', with eventual (and generally satisfying) reveals, in Carver's high-conflict era it's either clear to the audience what's up with the boys (if not to the characters themselves, who got significantly worse at communication to keep the contentious tension going as long as possible, such as with Gadreel) or else the emotional ramifications are implied but never fully explored (whether it's hashing out why Sam didn't look for Dean in Purgatory, or how Dean feels once off the Mark). In some ways this is delicious for fans, because there is so much fertile room for speculation; but it's also frustrating because it leaves space for polarized views of the characters that canon doesn't deny, even it doesn't support.

At the end of season 11, it looked like Dabb might be able to strike a balance -- while Carver was all about the interpersonal conflict (for the emotional catharsis of getting over it), Dabb seemed more interested in having the boys get along, working as partners, communicating better. Not caring about each other less, but more healthily; not demanding as dramatic tests of their relationship, but showing them working together to save the world.

Which has kept up -- and this is great for people in reality; but less great for TV show characters. We're watching for drama, and the reason why romances and all other kinds of relationships on TV tend to be so fraught is because it makes things more interesting. It's partly show vs tell -- characters who honestly say how they feel about each other can be sweet, but it doesn't pull you in as much as those who can't bring themselves to say it, but prove it in huge dramatic actions (like selling their soul, or starting an apocalypse...)

But I think this could work, due to SPN's nature -- season 11 was so satisfying because after so long of the boys so often at odds, it was great to see them finally getting along. And that still holds true -- it is a lot of fun to see them working so smoothly and effectively together, and after this many years establishing their characters, there's a lot between them that can simply be taken as a given. In 12x09 we don't need to see both Sam & Dean volunteer themselves, because we know for sure that they would, that they would never accept their brother dying for their freedom, but both would be willing to sacrifice themselves to get their brother out.

The problem the show is having now, though, is that in cutting out the conflict between the brothers, it also seems to have cut out the main part of their other emotions -- and largely cut them out of the story as well.

In the first ten eps of season 12, there are only two episodes (12x04 and 12x05) that Sam & Dean are actually proactive with the plot -- in both cases, by finding a hunt and going on it. Every other episode they are either reacting to what's happening to them, or they are pulled into a situation by another character (the BriMoL, Mary, Cas, Jody.) Even in those two eps (also the only two eps that have no other recurring characters besides Sam & Dean), a large part of both the plot and the emotional weight of the story is on the person they're helping (Magda and Ellie). Likewise in the other eps, it's often other characters who are getting the emotional storylines, especially Cas and Mary, while Sam & Dean are acting more as observers and assistants. They get stuff done, but they're not the ones making the sacrifices or other dramatic choices to do it.

Relatedly, this might be the longest period the show has ever gone that neither Sam nor Dean are being directly affected by something supernatural. (The only other time is possibly the first half of season 8, before the Trials, and that's arguable because Dean's having Purgatory flashbacks for much of it.) Usually, as well as hunting being their job, they are personally involved, with the supernatural and usually with the arc, whether it's having psychic visions or bearing the Mark of Cain.  Without that connection, they're acting more as bystanders than we're used to.

But it's more than that. Even if they aren't supernaturally compromised, it's not like the show is lacking in opportunity for personal drama now. While Sam & Dean are not at odds with each other, there is a ton going on that should impact them emotionally, both individually and together. Mary coming back, the BriMoL, Lucifer -- unlike season 7, these are all stories they should be intimately involved with. But the only one of these threads that's really been emotionally explored at all is Mary, and even that's been restricted to the single question of whether she’ll go or will hunt with them. The brothers haven't had a single conversation about what it means to them that their mother is alive again -- or how Mary feels about them; putting aside that they're hunters, does she know how many times they've saved the world, or nearly ended it? Does she know that they've both died and come back themselves? It hasn’t come up, nor have the boys shown much motivation in helping Mary find whatever it is she’s seeking on the road.

With Lucifer, Sam & Dean have seemingly been content to let Cas take point; they offer help when needed, but haven’t been doing the research themselves. And the BriMoL who tortured them and are invading their territory, are getting treated like an entirely logistical issue; the boys aren’t acting like they have any personal stake in the matter, though they've been proud to be legacies for years. Even when Sam started to call in the BriMoL in 12x08, we saw it happen, but with no exploration of Sam's feelings to explain why he thought it was a necessary step (or why he stopped) or how Dean felt about it. And he didn't actually go through with it, so them turning up was more the BriMoL's choice than Sam's -- he basically summoned them accidentally.

Some Sam fans have noted that Sam seems unusually detached these days -- the end of last season, he never was as disturbed by working with Lucifer as one might expect given their history, and likewise in this season he hasn't seemed overly bothered by that or anything else. But Dean's been almost as muted -- he still expresses some feeling (he's be wildly OOC if he didn't), but not nearly as intensely as usual. While for Dean this can be seen as character development -- he hasn't been drinking that much, he's been cranky but not violent -- for Sam, who is given to keeping calm and carrying on in dire circumstances, it comes across as an unhealthy amount of repression.

And even with Dean, his emotions have pretty much been limited to worry (expressed as grouchy anger, because Dean) for Mary and for Cas; it's as much about their stories as Sam & Dean's. The question isn't what Dean's going to do, it's what Mary or Cas are going to do, while Dean's only story arc is learning to accept it. It's more than Sam's getting, but not by much.

(Meanwhile, while the show is allowing Dean emotions, Sam is the only one with history -- there’s been mention his psychic powers, being Lucifer's vessel, oblique references to him being soulless in 12x10; while there's been almost no mention of Dean’s past (Toni did mention Benny -- but when she's describing torture techniques there's no mention that Dean 'trained' under Alistair.) This is partly because Dean hasn’t had much time to talk about himself; Sam's been the one to connect with all the people they've helped on hunts, never Dean, though usually they rotate that position.)

But maybe it's not that they're not feeling anything, but just that we haven't been shown their reactions. A major reason the boys seem so uninvolved is because one of the staples of Supernatural has always been the dramatic conversations between Sam & Dean (as the show itself references several times in the meta episodes.) Sometimes these are used to explore their relationship, other times to explore one or the other's current character arc. But while they're still talking, we haven't had a classic "boy melodrama" scene -- with Baby, talking about their feelings -- since 12x04, and that was pretty underplayed.

They haven't had a chance to express anything with other characters, either. While Mary and Cas both have had opportunities to share their feelings and emotional struggles, Sam or Dean's stay untouched. After two episodes of intense torture, not a single person asks Sam if he's okay, physically or mentally. More recently, Sam & Dean were imprisoned for weeks in solitary, an experience apparently so terrible that they were both willing to DIE to escape it...but it's not mentioned at all in the next episode. They're not asking each other about it (which is somewhat in keeping with their style, though one would hope they'd have gotten better about talking?) but neither Mary nor Cas are concerned about it, either, at least not on-screen.

Before the second half started, I blamed most of the season's issues on Bucklemming getting the episodes that should have had the most emotion and drama, as they handle resolution as well as they handle the show mythology (to the point that I wonder if they even read any other writers' scripts, or let the others read theirs). But after "First Blood" it's starting to look like Dabb is deliberately trying to avoid writing emotional moments with Sam & Dean -- that entire episode was structured such that Cas and Mary bore the dramatic weight; in order to leave the audience in the dark about the deal until the end, we couldn't see Sam & Dean talking about anything important. Even in the final confrontation with Billie, it's Mary and Cas who act, while the brothers do nothing except explain what's happened, with little emphasis on why they took such a terrible deal. (Compare to the emotional buildup of, say, Dean trading his soul to bring Sam back, or Sam deciding to use the Book of the Damned to remove the Mark from Dean.)

We'll see how this plays out as the season continues, but it's getting frustrating. The brotherly melodrama is one of the biggest draws of Supernatural for me -- it's a genre show that gives me the emotional buildup and catharsis of more classically character-oriented dramas (except non-romantic, which is the best part, for me!) I like badass action as much as the next fangirl, but my favorite part of fanning is the feels, and I've always been able to count on SPN to provide them -- maybe not realistically or healthily or logically; but for all its many flaws, it's always delivered on the emotional front with regards to the brothers. The only real exception is season 7 (and that's inconsistent, there is some great stuff.) But season 12 is sorely lacking in that element so far -- and being nearly halfway through, it seems like this might be the way Dabb wants it to be?

(I also suspect that next episode, 12x11, which has the set-up be a veritable orgy of brother feels to match "Mystery Spot," is going to skip most of them in favor of comedy -- which I'm looking forward to, we haven't had a good humor ep in a while; but I also want to see beautiful Dean angst and Sam falling apart, and given this season's track record I doubt it's going to happen.)

What I'm curious about is whether this is an intentional change, or just how it's turning out due to other decisions. I'm wondering if Dabb is deliberately trying to shift the focus of the show somewhat off Sam & Dean (because they've had the spotlight for so long he thinks it's time to shake things up, as showrunners sometimes are wont to do? Or is it possible that J2 requested some easier stuff, given their years of commitment and expanding families?) If it is purposeful, are they trying to disengage Sam & Dean from the plot and that's separated them from emotional development as well; or is the show trying to tone down their emotional involvement, and that's more easily done by reducing their role in the plot? As mentioned, Cas and Mary have been getting the more emotional storylines -- and I don't mind having them developed (am looking forward to Cas's arc especially -- a lot of his storylines before, he was off doing his own thing with angels; having him at the center of a story but with Sam & Dean along to worry about him, like in 12x10, can be a lot of fun!) But they're still supporting characters; Sam & Dean are the leads, the only ones in every episode, and if they're not as involved with the stories, it makes both the plotty and the monster of the week eps less compelling.

Which isn't to say all is lost, or even that the show is losing my interest. I've still enjoyed the majority of the episodes this season. And I've enjoyed Sam & Dean in them -- I do love to see the brothers getting along; they've been working together so well, and if Jared & Jensen did want a break, they're generally still giving it their all when they are on. And every season has its strengths and weaknesses. I just hope Sam & Dean get more involved in the arcs, both emotionally and in their impact on the plot, as the season continues. There's a lot here for them to care about and angst over and make bad decisions (or good ones!); I want to see it!

#season 12 #spn meta #winchester brothers #andrew dabb #spn speculation #meta #my meta #my post

[mycasandstarrs]

SPN 5x18: “Point of No Return”

Quite the interesting song choice. “The Man Upstairs” by Kay Starr.

Bummed out Zachariah at a bar.

“That’s all they care about upstairs, ain’t it? Results, results, results. They don’t know. They’re not down on the ground, in the mud, nose to nose with all you pig-filthy humans, am I right?”

“Absolute—filthy what?”

lmao, poor guy catching what Zachariah said.

Another gif I’d seen often without knowing what the context was.

RIP Stuart and the bartender. Killed by Zachariah’s “boss”...whoever that is.

Dean-o.

Preparing to leave.

I”m trying to pause the screen to read this letter Dean is writing. I can make out the words “you’ll look after her” which is probably referring to Baby (tho I did initially think it was about Lisa, as he had told her last episode that “they” won’t get what they want from him without agreeing to something first...aka protection for her and Ben.) Also before that statement, it looks like Dean made a Back to the Future reference (which, of course he would) “Where we’re going, we don’t need  no roads”

He also mentions someone (or something?) being an “honorary Winchester in my book” and I hope he means Cas.

[After episode edit: Supernatural Wiki is awesome and provides a transcript to a good chunk of the letter. It confirms most of my guesses except the “honorary Winchester” is Bobby; I ain’t even mad about that.]

It was about to be sent to Bobby.

“It’s not too hard to figure out the stops on the Farewell Tour.” Well thank god Sam knows Dean so well.

“How could you do that?”

“How could I? All you’ve ever done is walk away.”

“And I was wrong. Every single time I did.” 

“You know I have to stop you.”

“Yeah, well, you can try. Just remember: You’re not all hopped up on demon blood this time.”

Dean delivering some low blows here...and he’s just getting started.

Cas! 

Who is phenomenally pissed and staring daggers at Dean.

“But if Lucifer burns this mother down, and I coulda done something about it, guess what? That’s on me.” Huh, that’s still part of the reason Dean says yes to Michael in S13.

“You’re not my father. And you ain’t in my shoes.”

DEAN WINCHESTER, YOU TAKE THAT BACK IMMEDIATELY.

It would’ve been kinda hilarious if Bobby had shot Dean for that alone.

“That’s the round I mean to put through my skull. Every morning, I look at it. I think, ‘Maybe today’s the day I flip the lights out.’ But I don’t do it. I never do it. You know why? Because I promised you I wouldn’t give up!”

:(

RIP 2 angels. Killed by Cas.

Will the real Adam Milligan please rise?

Cas wards Adam.

My god, Adam sounds so much like Dean.

Whoomp, there it is. Adm was brought back to replace Dean as Michael's vessel.

Cas shading Dean, lol.

“Why would they do this?”

“Maybe they’re desperate. Maybe they wrongly assumed Dean would be brave enough to withstand them.”

“Alright, you know what? Blow me, Cas.”   

Adam even acts like Dean, whereas Ghoul!Adam was more like Sam...

“Please, just trust me. Give me some time.”

“Give me one good reason.”

“Because we’re blood.”

Yeah, that ain’t gonna cut it.

“No, John Winchester was some guy who took me to a baseball game once a year. I don't have a dad. So we may be blood, but we are not family. My mom is my family. And if I do my job, I get to see her again. So no offense, but she's the one I give a rat's ass about, not you.”

Dude, it’s not their fault they never found out about you.

Jeez, what a dick.

Not that easy to escape, pal.

“The one thing worse than seeing dad once a year was seeing him all year.”

“Do you know how full of crap you are?”

“What?”

“Really. You see, it was me and it was my mom. That's it. She worked the graveyard shift at the hospital. I cooked my own dinners. I put myself to bed. So you can say whatever you want about our dad, but the truth is, I would have taken anything.”

SERIOUSLY WHAT A MEDIUM BAG OF DICKS

 Does Adam ever stop with the smartass remarks?

DEAN WHAT THE FUCK.

“I mean, think about how many people we've gotten killed, Sam. Mom, Dad, Jess, Jo, Ellen. Should I keep going?” None of those deaths were your own fault, you’re reaching for straws here pal.

“I just…I—I don’t believe.” 

“In what?”

“In you.”

I hate Dean’s campaign of driving people away so they’ll let him go, I h a t e t h i s.

“You’re angry, you’re self-righteous. Lucifer's gonna wear you to the prom, man. It's just a matter of time.” 

“Don’t say that to me. Not you...of all people.”

Omg, an almost direct parallel from “When the Levee Breaks”.

You made Sam cry, you asshole.

I love Bobby checking in on his sons :’)

How did Dean know Cas was gonna come down to check in on him? That crash was well timed.

And Cas actually showed concern for him!!

Dean, you fucking asshole.

“Cuff him to your chair.” lmao

Adam, meet Zachariah.

The other time where I can’t even argue against Zachariah...except for the “erotically” bit.

“Trust me, kid, when the heat gets hot, they're not gonna give a flying crap about you. Hell, they'd rather save each other's sweet bacon than save the planet.” Oh wait, there’s another time he’s just...kinda right. Tho I’d kinda argue that they’ve come a long way from that.

OOOHHH HERE IT COMES. ONE OF MY FAVORITE SCENES IN THE SERIES...and the reason I started shipping Destiel full time.

El Sol!

OOOOHHH IT’S DEAN BEATDOWN TIME!!!

It is so satisfying to see Cas beat the shit out of Dean after everything he’s said and done in this episode.

Also, how are NONE of the passing civilians noticing this fight???

I just...get a huge kick out of that scene. 

And now, I attempt to explain why this scene (of all scenes) was the reason I started shipping Destiel:

To me, there were two stages of Destiel; 1. Dean’s in love with Cas and 2. Cas is in love with Dean. For whatever reason, this was the moment I realized Cas had very deep feelings for Dean. 

The level of betrayal he was feeling from Dean seemed much more personal than just ‘I went to bat for the guy and he struck out, wah wah”. 

Also, the fact that he emphasized that he did/gave EVERYTHING for solely Dean definitely came off more than platonic to me. 

(Not to mention how close their faces were to each other; almost every time I watch this scene, I half expect them to start making out with each other.)

All I know is that from there on out, I looked forward to their interactions--well, even more than I already did-- and that I was looking at them in a different light.

“Bobby, what do you mean ‘Adam is gone’?”

“Should I say it in Spanish?”

lmaoo. Knowing Bobby, he probably could.

“What the hell happened to him?”

“Me.”

ayyyy

Unceremoniously dumped on the couch, lmao.

And I also kinda love that they asked about what happened to Dean only once, then proceeded to talk more about Adam. It may be because he’s the bigger fish to fry, but it kinda reads to me that Bobby and Sam are in silent agreement that Dean had that beating coming, so they won’t even ask more about it.

The Green Room.

Oh, Persephone move there bro.

“So you lied...about everything.”

“We didn’t lie. We just avoided certain truths to manipulate you.”

Adam, you poor fool.

i wonder who carried Dean down to the panic room.

“Word to the wise: don’t piss off the nerd angels.”

“Either it’s a trap to get me there to make me say yes, or it’s not a trap and I’m gonna say yes anyway. And I will. I’ll do it. Fair warning.” No, you won’t.

“When push shoves, you’ll make the right call.” Sam’s right.

“I—I don’t get it. Sam, why are you doing this?“

“Because… you’re still my big brother.”

I am like, Sam’s #1 fan when it comes to this episode. I am rooting like hell for him.

Van Nuys, California.

I love Dean’s reaction as Cas takes off his tie; he even looks over to Sam like “you seeing this?”

“Whoa, wait. You’re gonna take on five angels?”

“Yes.”

“Isn’t that suicide?”

“Maybe it is. But then I won’t have to watch you fail.”

RIP Dean, torn a new one by Cas.

Dean looked at Cas like he thought the box-cutter was for him.

RIP angel. Killed by Cas.

One down, four to go.

What a badass move.

“You came for me.”

“Yeah, well, you’re family.”

Awww.

Crap.

Zachariah’s just twisting the knife.

“Damn it, Zachariah. Stop it, please. I’ll do it.”

“I’m sorry. What was that?”

“Okay, yes. The answer is yes.”

:(

You can literally pinpoint the moment Dean changes his mind.

“I said…before Michael gets one piece of this sweet ass…he has to turn you into a piece of charcoal.” There’s the Dean I love.

“Michael’s not gonna kill me.” Zachariah’s last words.

RIP Zachariah. Killed by Dean. Still such a satisfying death!

Whoa, just realized Dean watched Zachariah die...and he still has eyeballs.

Dean lets go of Adam to help Sam. That one little decision with such huge consequences...

“Dean! Help! Deean!” 

Poor Adam. I really do feel sorry that he got caught up in all this. I’m kinda hoping they’ll address him a bit in S14.

“You think Adam’s okay?”

“Doubt it. Cas either. But we’ll get ‘em.” aww.

“So, what changed your mind?”

“Honestly? The damnedest thing. I mean, the world’s ending. The walls are coming down on us, and I look over to you and all I can think about is, ‘This stupid son of a bitch brought me here.’ I just didn’t want to let you down.” 

ACCEPT THE APOLOGY SAM.

“Just...let me say this. I don't know if it's being a big brother or what, but to me, you've always been this snot-nosed kid that I've had to keep on the straight and narrow. I think we both know that that's not you anymore. I mean, hell, if you're grown-up enough to find faith in me…the least I can do is return the favor. So screw destiny, right in the face. I say we take the fight to them, and do it our way.”

That meant the universe to Sam.

HELL FUCKING YES DEAN. You are forgiven for the bull you pulled this episode.

#supernatural #spn summer rewatch #spn liveblog #spn 5x18 #point of no return #aka the episode i started shipping destiel full time

[salvia-plathitudes]

Not season 12 finale divergent.

"You, me, and Sam. We're just better together." Dean said it with such confidence, a surety like no other. When Dean believed something was settled he followed that ethos until it's illusion was shattered, and then he usually found it again some time later when he forgot to learn his lesson.

If a man doesn't have principles to live by and fall back to, he is aimless and can't define himself. Long term evolution has nothing on a hard head or beating heart that abides to strict decision.

Dean believed this. He also believed pop culture was that or this, and he delivered this say-so on what was cool and what was lame and what was an absurdly stupid action or phrase if anyone were doing it, but when Cas was doing it there was slightly less derision for the fact that Dean loved him. Doubtless Sam, Dean, and Castiel would exist until the end of time if that's what they wanted to do, because Dean believed them infinite to Sam's reluctant worry that they would end up dead or worse some day, overdue on cosmic repercussions as they were. No one had asked Castiel's opinion on the matter. He had one, of course. Not a single being mulled over in his head as much as Cas ran himself in circles, a creature of limited sleep and excellent coffee making abilities.

Cas thought he was going to die. He wanted to live, generally.

But on a regular basis Cas prepared to die. He made peace with it. He forgave himself for having any regrets in life and accepted that was just how it was going to be. He loved, and it was good, and he helped sme people where he was able, and let his rigidity and explosions of anger ruin or justify plans and he forgave himself for that, too. Unlike Sam who dreamed of a life worth living by dying a martyr sacrifice, Castiel imagined his own sacrifice would be purely selfish. In the end no one would have him to thank. The people of the earth would wake up, run late to work, and interact with people they'd rather run from or fall into and make coffee that might be better than Castiel ever made in his life.

Castiel has never had a caramel macchiato.

If there was anything that Cas wanted to die for most of all, it was to ensure Dean or Sam kept going. They'd given him a lot, and were hard not to love. It was an abstract, unimaginable event the night Cas spent the night alone. He could have been anywhere. If they'd been in another town... caught wind of a happening in a town nearby to somewhere else... maybe they would have stayed there for two weeks. Gone to a local coffee shop that served the best cinnamon rolls Dean had ever tasted. And so it goes, where depending on the news that filters in and catches the eye, consequently a month away from home until the day it is finally returned to. Then the closets are supplied and Sam turns two chairs into a makeshift couch for his long body to rest comfortably while he uses his tablet while he waits for Dean to shower or sleep.

They were in Ames, Iowa. They were heading back home and didn't find anything else to run to on the way. Sam bought cinnamon cocoa for himself and his family to celebrate the Equinox in a small building that had only four tables. Leaves were browning on the outside pavement, immobile until the winds would pick up the next morning, drifting lazily with the promise of crisp-tasting atmosphere. It wasn't serene inside. There had been bumping elbows and nervous grinning at the proximity and lack of conversation. Sam's face pores were impeccably detailed, perfect to the last oily stretch, a creation his Father should be proud of, and Cas took the time to drink in the details of the shop and his companion and the lacking outdoor scene with rigorous wonder just as Dean brushed his shoulder insistently against Cas' and held it there. After they paid they walked out, separately aware of the cooling weather. Two men holding hands passed them to enter the building. Not one of the three men bothered to track their movement, but Sam took two larger steps to get ahead of Dean and Cas to lead the way to the meter.

When they eventually found the underground bunker, unpacked the little they carried, and followed the ritual, a lot of time had passed since the cocoa. Dean was done showering. Cas loitered outside of Dean's bedroom. He knocked and waited for a response. Dean didn't answer, but he looked up with a grin as Cas brushed the door open some.

The man Castiel loved was soft sometimes. Hence the abstract and unimaginable.

He was lying restless-- in his own bed-- the inner machinations working so hard that when he turned his head he heard the audible creak in his forehead that usually happened when he was trying too hard to not get turned on. Too much focus. And the truth was, he'd much rather be turned on. He'd much rather Dean be kissing him than the traitorous thoughts he was compiling against the man sleeping two doors down. He didn't get to kiss him at all tonight or during the duration of the trip. Sam didn't know. Dean didn't even know. And if Dean didn't know, how the hell was Cas supposed to know? He measured everything against what Dean wanted, so how the hell was Castiel supposed to presume? He remembered the still concrete world outside of the little building and the two men holding hands who walked up to inhabit it.

Castiel remembered every single slight he'd felt in the past couple of days, whenever they'd been out of the car. He remembered old slights. He remembered pieces of pop culture he'd been made aware of. Of the promises he'd made Meg. Of the existence he'd led Before, when he was just like an impenetrable marble carving in the Galleria dell'Accademia museum to anyone who mattered. When Hell was the worst culmination of wretchedness in all of the time since its first fiercely blinding droplet was forged. When he wasn't anyone at all, to the people he mattered to, before he walked into their lives. When he wasn't anyone at all to his Host or maybe even God, who had been churning out celestial dominions as a broker shuffling cards, which is to say He gave attention to the results of the game rather than the impressively performed, but random riffle he broke to start it all. A game He abandoned rather than face up to accidentally including a Joker. Everyone he encountered insisted Castiel was the Joker. "Whenever you have to pick between us or them... you pick the Winchesters."

Castiel turned on the light and spoke into his tablet. Voice control recorded his morning vocal chord words into typed text on imitation yellow legal pad. He spoke softly.

"I'm in love with a memory. Of another time, another place."

"I have changed so much since the angel I was. I could have changed more. Differently. But I have become a man I think I am proud of. I consider myself a man now.

"Once Sam and Dean thought I would lose my vessel. I don't know what I would do without it. I could enter into a vessel whose soul is leaving it. The Winchesters would have to accept this, as would I. Or I could accept this as a signal to move on from earthly existence. I could resume the role of a guardian, for another thousand years. It would be better to return to heaven than be tempted by this. Would that be running away from my problems? Ignoring the plight of my family?" Cas chuckled. "No. My place will always be by--"

The tablet screen went dark without a voice to pen any more.

Castiel turned it on again and started voice recording. "I have changed. Perhaps my personal growth is delayed... perhaps..." Cas remembered Dean yelling at him to not do anything stupid, dammit! "Dean and Sam have led me through life. It can be hard. There are choices... consequence. I haven't known any men like the Winchesters. I... haven't...

"... known any others at all." Gabriel, Balthazar, Anna. They knew how to interact with the world. They could weave in and out of the bulk of humanity with practiced ease, gluttonous pleasure, simple life building, love for parents and pets. Before the supernatural and hunters came and crashed the reverie. Before they were killed fighting a war that is over.

Castiel stared at the room door. Quiet surrounded him, filled him with unease. He crept up to it, and watched the handle, daring himself to open it. His hand struck forward and he turned it swiftly.

The vents usually blew gentle cool air into the hallway, a comforting sound, but the turn of the season left the underground bunker at a temperature it could indulge in.

With socks on his feet, because Dean insisted he not wear shoes to bed, he stepped out and started the trek along the floor plan. He entered the war room, paced a circle around the enormous telescope, ignored the kitchen-- too many pots and pans, the image of clanking sounds was enough to turn him away from entering in the middle of the night no matter how silly the thought of accidentally disturbing something was-- the rational part of his mind did wonder, if he made noise here in front of the book shelf, if he entered Dean's room, would he be greeted with a gun in his face? Yes to the latter.

That night, in a dawning enormity of how much growth there was left to do, Castiel made his decision. It was time to stop trying to please, to become another Winchester. Hunters had given him a good start. But Dean would never hold his hand. He would never return to the man who asked questions first and tortured only with the greatest stake on the line. Oh, how ironic that it was Castiel himself who convinced him to take his technique to Azazel's rack. Where Cas had taken slow steps to gain the advantage of humanity, Dean had let his slip away behind an exterior he wouldn't let anyone into. The last person he cared for with all of the softness he had inside had been Charlie, murdered, and before that Lisa, and Cas took her away from him, too.

Maybe Castiel was the one who broke Dean.

Maybe Dean didn't even want him. Not all the way. It is not enough to love someone, Castiel surmised while sitting at the top of the stairs mere feet from the bunker entrance in his white dress shirt and black socks. It's not enough if you can't love them right. You have to let them in. You have to be capable of being soft at any moment, not abrasive.

He returned to his bed and ignored the memory what it felt like to occasionally feel the presence of Dean's former longing from this very spot. It was a homing beacon for every instance when Cas was too far away.

Castiel slept resolute.

In the morning, he told the brothers he was leaving. For a long time. Both sensed that his stressing "for a long time" was significant, and Dean always had trouble saying goodbye at the same time he feigned nonchalance. Sam, forehead creased in concern but still grinning, said, "Careful out there, Cas." He tapped his fist on Cas' arm.

Dean stood back with his coffee. "Come back in one piece. We'll call you if we need anything."

A month later, when Castiel speaks to him on the phone, Dean says, "You, me, and Sam. We're just better together." Castiel disagrees.

He is careful to speak in these phone conversations these days, his reflection in the mirror running a hand through his hair, getting it right. "If you ever want to retire... I think civilian life would suit you."

Dean is obviously panicked about the separation. "Nah. It's Halloween. Lots of stuff to do out there. You find anything?"

"Nothing has come across my path," Castiel responds plainly. "For a long time, the town has been perfectly natural."

"Well... keep an eye out."

"I will."

They both wait for the other to speak, and when neither does, Dean continues. "Some day... when Sam trains other hunters.. and Jody's got her girls.. if the nasties are under control, some days I feel like I could retire."

Cas thinks that would be a good idea. His phone pops up with an incoming call, either a telemarketer or Reina. "I have to go. Goodbye, Dean."

"Seeya 'round, Cas."

#untagged because wank #earlier someone went through my entire wank tag and I thought. o geez. that's not healthy #no one should expose themselves to a wall of negativity like that but if ur in the moodfor it I guess... #anti dean winchester #I LOVE DEAN but u gotta admit he ain't season 6 Dean anymore #this is supposed to be part 1... Need to showcase the life Cas is living now #I pumped this out from scratch with no forethought in 3 hours exactly #watchimg ocean's 8 was a huge push #i don't recommend that movie by the way but it was my evening and so to thank for this #now I get to wake up in 5 hours and go biking to be the waterer for a marathoner #grrreat #hate being up late it automatically makes anything I spat out after midnight feel incoherent and I’m self conscious about that #no proofreading we post like sleep deprived mussels

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Point of No Return: Part Two

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,914

Warnings: typical supernatural violence, language, angst, blood, you know the usual

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Any and all comments on these are appreciated. I really want to hear what you guys think about this one!

Feedback is the glue that holds my writing together.

Tags at the bottom

Instead of letting him do that, you let him get cleaned up so that he doesn’t have dirt stuck to his face and clothes. After clean clothes, a glass of water, and a shower, he’s ready to talk about what happened to him.

“Why don't you just tell us everything? Start from the beginning,” Dean orders.

“Well, I was dead and in Heaven. Except it kinda looked like my prom, and I was making out with this girl. Her name was Kristin McGee—”

“Yeah, that sounds like heaven. Did you get to third base?” Dean chuckles.

You look at him from over your shoulder, and as soon as he sees the look in your eyes, he shuts up.

“Well, these… these angels pop out of nowhere, and they tell me that I—I'm chosen.”

“For what?”

“To save the world.”

“How you gonna do that?” Sam inquires.

“Oh, me and some archangel are going to kill the devil,” Adam shrugs.

“What archangel?” Dean butts in.

“Michael. I'm his uh, sword or vessel or something, I don't know.”

“Well, that’s insane,” Dean shrugs.

“Not necessarily,” you say. “Adam may be younger than Sam, but he’s still his brother. He’s still John’s kid, so I guess Adam is the angels’ loophole.”

“She’s right, it’s not perfect, but it’s possible,” Castiel agrees.

“Well, you gotta be kidding me,” Dean scoffs.

“Why would they do this?” your father asks.

“Maybe they're desperate. Maybe they wrongly assumed Dean would be brave enough to withstand them,” Castiel thinks out loud.

“Alright, you know what? Blow me, Cas,” Dean glares.

“Look, no way. After everything that's happened? All that shit about destiny? Suddenly the angels have a Plan B? Does that smell right to anybody?” Sam questions their intentions.

“Sam’s right about this. I don’t feel strong about this at all,” you give your input.

“You know this has been a really moving family reunion, but uh, I got a thing, so—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no, no. Sit down,” Sam cuts off Adam as he tries to get off the couch. “Just listen, okay? Please.”

“It's unbelievable. How can you expect me to listen to you right now?”

“Adam, the angels are lying to you. They’re full of shit. I can sense these things. I’m a witch, and this isn’t sitting right with me.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so.”

“Really. Why not?”

“Um, 'cause they're angels?” he scoffs.

“They tell you they were gonna roast half the planet?” Sam asks.

“They said the fight might get pretty hairy, but it is the devil, right? So we got to stop him.”

“Yeah, but there's another way.”

“Great. What is it?”

“We're working on ‘the power of love’.” Dean says sarcastically.

“How's that going?”

“Mmm. Not good.”

“Look, Adam… you don't know me from a hole in the wall, but I'm begging you. Please, just trust me. Give me some time.”

“Give me one good reason,” Adam says, and waits.

“Because we're blood,” Sam finally answers.

“You've got no right to say that to me,” the younger brother glares.

“You're still John's boy,” your father says.

“No, John Winchester was some guy who took me to a baseball game once a year. I don't have a dad. So, we may be blood, but we are not family. My mom is my family. If I do my job, I get to see her again. So, no offense, but she's the one I give a rat's ass about, not you four.”

“Fair enough, but if you have one good memory of dad—just one—then you'll give us a little more time. Please,” Sam begs.

All Adam can do is sigh, but that sigh told everyone that he’s willing to give Sam just a little extra time.

“Dean, please talk to me. How many times do I have to say I’m sorry?” you ask.

He’s been ignoring you ever since you and Sam got him from his motel room. He refuses to talk to you, and it’s getting really annoying. He has to crack sometime, and you’d rather it come sooner rather than later.

“Dean, I know you’re upset, but ignoring me isn’t going to make this situation go away. You’re going to have to talk to me eventually,” you try again.

He’s getting your father’s panic room set up for him to stay there since Dean needs to keep him on suicide watch. Neither Adam nor Dean will be giving their bodies up for the archangel. He stacks some books on the small table inside and turns on the lamp. He doesn’t read, but if he’s going to be stuck in here by himself, then he might want a book or two. On a normal day, you would be stuck in here with him, but there is no way he’s letting that happen. He’s acting like if he looks at you, he’ll hurl.

“Dean! Please say something!”

“What do you want me to say, Y/N? That I’m pissed? That you made the biggest mistake of your life? That you took something from me without asking? I think you already know that,” he scoffs.

“It’s not like I did it to hurt you. You know that was never my intention.”

“Yeah, well, you got it.”

“How are we going to fix this? You want to make another child? We can do that easily, you know.”

“Why would I want a child with someone who doesn’t even want one?”

“I never said that. All I said is that I don’t want to raise a child in this life right now. I don’t want my kids being hunters.”

“You’re a fucking witch, Y/N. You’re always going to be involved! It’s either you have kids now or you’ll never have them. It’s not like you’re going to give up your powers like your mom did. You love being a witch too much. No, there’s a much bigger reason as to why you got rid of our child like it was trash. There is something you’re not telling me. If there is, better tell me now.”

“There isn’t, I swear,” you said.

It was half the truth. There is another reason why you don’t want kids in this lifetime or in this life. Amara will make your kids her vessel and use them like she’s using you. If you don’t have kids, then she can die with you. You’re not letting your kids have that life being pushed on them. As soon as your first child is born, Amara will have another person she can torment. You’re not letting that happen.

“Like I believe you,” he scoffs.

“Dean, please,” you beg.

“At least Lisa didn’t kill my child,” he mutters.

You may be standing by the door, but his voice travels throughout the room. You heard what he said, and it shatters your heart into a million pieces. If he’s already comparing you to his other baby mama, then you are in big trouble. Tears stream down your cheeks as you fled the room, and you wouldn't have bumped into Castiel and Sam on your way out if it wasn’t for your blurry vision. Sam moved out of the way so you can race up the stairs.

“Dean, what did you do?” Sam asks.

“Just told her the truth,” he shrugs.

Without thinking, you ran straight toward your dad and fell into his arms. He caught you without a second thought, and let you use his shoulder to cry on. Adam is eating in the kitchen, and he looks up at your intrusion. He decides to stay out of it, but he's close enough to hear what you have to say.

“I’m so sorry,” you sob.

“I know you are,” your dad whispers, already knowing what you’re sorry for.

“I’m sorry for murdering your grandchild,” you hiccup and get off him to give him some space.

You move from his lap to the chair across from him.

“I know why you did it.”

“I knew there would come a time where something might matter more than a mission or a hunt, but I didn’t think it would come so soon. Plus, I can’t let her win.”

“Who win?”

“Her! Amara! My mother was a vessel for her. Her mother was one too. What kind of mother would I be if I sentenced my kid’s life to that?”

“They didn’t know about Amara and/or the bloodline thing,” he sighs.

“But I do. She’s going to do to my child what she’s doing to me. Dean isn’t a witch, so who knows if my kids will have powers. If they don’t, then how will they protect themselves against her? Lucifer? Every other fucking monster out there?” you shout.

“The same way Sam and Dean do. They don’t have magical powers to help them. I never had that. John didn't either.”

“Yeah, well, look where that got him and you. No offense,” you scoff, motioning to his wheelchair.

“All I’m saying is that you’re a lot stronger than you know. And I know my daughter isn’t going to leave her kids defenseless. When and if you decide to have kids, you’ll do a great job. You both will because I know the kind of person you are. It shouldn’t matter what’s out there. All that matters is family.”

“I really wish I can see it that way, but I can’t,” you whisper.

“You will one day. Let me tell you one thing. Your mother having you? Best decision she ever made,” he smiles.

“Thanks, dad,” you give a small smile back.

Footsteps come from behind you, and you turn your head to see Sam jogging up the stairs.

“How’s he doing?” your dad asks.

“How are you doing?” Sam asks after giving a shrug in response to your dad’s question.

“Peachy, Sam. Just peachy,” you say sarcastically.

“What about you?”

“Hanging in there,” Sam answers truthfully.

Now that Dean is locked up and Adam is safe for now, all there is left to do is wait until a better idea pops into someone’s head. Until then, you could use some rest.

That poor, dumb angel. You knew it was a bad idea to let him go downstairs and check on Dean. You had a bad feeling about Dean, and knew he was up to something bad. That’s when Castiel offered to check up on your boyfriend. However, he never returned. When you and Sam went to go check on him, the panic room door was wide open, both men were gone, and an angel banishing symbol was drawn on the wall with Dean’s blood.

“Where’s Cas?” your dad asks when you and Sam return back upstairs.

“Blown to Oz. Look, Y/N and I will get Dean. He couldn’t have gone too far. Just watch Adam.”

“How? You may have noticed, but he’s got a slight height advantage.”

“Then cuff him to your chair. I don’t know. Just watch him,” Sam shrugs.

“Wait, why do I have to go? You sound like you can handle it on your own,” you chuckle nervously.

“Y/N, you’re coming. He couldn’t have gotten far.”

“Fine,” you sigh deeply and leave with the younger brother. 

Either you’re going to find Dean and he’s going to hate you for trying to rescue him, or you’re not going to find him because he’s already given his body to the archangel. Whatever the case may be, it won’t turn out well for either of you.

Wanna get tagged? Add yourself to this document! If your tag doesn’t work, find out why!

@sing4mejensen @essie1876 @gh0stgurl @redsalv20 @superrandomnatural @scarletmeii @babypink224221 @gaveherhearttotheliontattoo @akshi8278 @a--1--1--3 @kendlemariee @miraclesoflove @earthtokace​ @teamfreewillsstuff​ @fandom-princess-forevermore​ @kiwihoee​ @jennazeise​ @phantomalchemist​ @posiemax​ @22sarah08​ @tricksterdean​ @andi-mendes-barnes​ @put-my-favorite-record-on​ @countrygal17a​ @whit85-blog​ @sammypotato67​ @knowledgefulbutterfly​ @fandomoverdose666​ @sharp-cheekbones-locked​ @amotleyworld​

#supernatural fanfiction #supernatural series rewrite #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fiction #dean winchester fan fiction #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester fan fic #dean x reader #dean fic #dean fiction #dean fan fiction #dean fanfiction #dean fanfic #dean fan fic #season 5 episode 18 #s5e18 #spn #supernatural