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safely-in-vhagars-belly · 6 months

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Fire and blood (THE FANFIC!) 18+ Dark!Aemond x oc/reader and dark!aegon x oc/reader

Chapter 23: Birth.

COOL HEADER CREDITS: @) firefly-in-darkness

🔷Summary:You are the Lady Brienne Beesbury, Aegon's tutor for his Valyrian lessons. You are elegant and the beloved daughter of Lyman Beesbury, his youngest precious daughter. Needless to say, your pupil Aegon takes a interest in you, and when Aemond also takes a interest in you, things go south rather quickly. They make a deal that you are quick to accept: You will be their plaything for their dark pleasures. You just had no idea.......How far the realm would burn, and how much you all would suffer because of these choices.

🔷Author's note: Please head the warnings.

Wordcount :5000

🔷Warnings: Childloss, birth, assassins, blood, gore, angst, depression, child-birth-depression, be careful what you wish for-ism and other shenanigans MURDER GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF MURDER AND CRAZY TARGARYENS AS WELL AS TREASON WAAH ALMOST FORGOT THIS ONE, THIS ONE CRUCIAL ONE: BOOK SPOILERS, POSSIBLE SHOW SPOILERS!!!!! MDNI18

Many thoughts go through your head, causing a headache when you see Aemond Targaryen has returned from his adventures in the Riverlands. You thought you would never see him again, after he was sent away and Aegon married you, sprunging him.

You are close to losing yourself once again to emotions, as you want to hug someone, anyone. You watch in silence when Aemond nods to his brother, giving a small bow out of respect. You watch teary eyed as it happens. You always wish they would get along, but not like this. Not when one is facing what could be his final battle.

Aemond’s light blue eyes switch from Aegon’s body to your own, taking in your big swollen belly while you see many emotions reflected back in his only good eye. Jealousy, heartbreak, and finally, a gentle and timid smile grows on his pink soft lips. ‘’You mustn't be here. You must be in your rooms, resting.’’ He tells you, commanding you, as if you are still a lady and he is the prince. But the moment he hears the words leave his lips, he grabs your hands gently, lowering his voice a bit.

‘’It’s what Aegon would have wanted. You must be kept safe, no matter the cost.’’ He starts to squeeze your hands, perhaps unintentionally.

You become slightly uncomfortable under his hard, intense gaze and give an obedient nod. But you won’t leave your Aegon. You made a vow to him, unknowingly, perhaps, but you vowed you would be one soul, one flesh, one heart. ‘’My place is beside Aegon. I’m only leaving if he is brought to his ancestors, resting in the crypt.’’ You picture a funeral parade for your loved one, being paraded around the town when civilians look on, their brave king covered in green and gold, before being put to rest with his ancestors, finally free of the burdens of this world, a world that never fully and truly suited him.

Aemond sighs, as you sit down on Aegon’s bed. You lean in and kiss Aegon’s forehead, which is still warm, giving you a slight comfort. He is still in there, your Aegon. You just hope you can survive long enough on your own until he comes back out. The prince speaks, before sitting down on the other end of the bed, joining you.‘’You always were a stubborn woman.’’

You laugh, despite your tears. But that laugh slowly dies as the cold truth settles and wraps around you as a blanket, nearly choking the joy and light out of you. ‘’It’s too much, Aemond. I can’t lose him. Not after everything we have been through. I have nightmares where my child is cut from my body.’’ You look at your belly, rubbing it. You have nightmares about Helaena too. She warns you to be careful. You won’t bring her up in front of Aemond, however.

The prince is insulted you even thought he would allow such a thing to happen. As if it is not possible that you all might lose this war, become captives and die. ‘’I would never let that happen, and you know it.’’

You have your doubts. There is only so much they can do. ‘’I’m the Queen of Seven fucking kingdoms, ruling over millions of people and yet I feel completely alone.��’ You confess, without any tears running down your cheeks. You have no one. Not really. Without Aegon, you are powerless and weak. These men claim that a woman is unfit to rule, why would they even listen to what you want?

Aemond’s fingers gently reach out to touch your hands that rest on your belly, holding your hand when leaning in closer. ‘’You’re not alone…’’ He turns his head, and is reminded of his brother. He drops your hands, and you feel even more alone than before. ‘’Your grace.’’ He adds with a dutiful faint smile that hurts your heart. You love him still, of course you do. But you can’t bear to love anyone until your Aegon wakes up, for you vowed you wouldn’t love another man, and you are not sure that you can love another man.

‘’He is so peaceful, almost as if he’s dreaming.’’ You whisper, gently touching Aegon’s hands and taking them into your own. Aemond is silently hurt written all over his face. Yet he nods, dutiful. ‘’I wonder what he dreams about.’’ You murmur, a bit delusional.

Aemond speaks, whispering as well, not ruining the moment. ‘’I know, your grace.’’ He tells you, clearing his voice. You turn your head and see that you are not the only one who feels terribly lost and alone anymore.

Just seeing him cry is enough to make your bleeding heart be cut again. ‘’You do?’’ You ask, in disbelief, your voice small, breakable.

Aemond nods. ‘’Hmhm. He dreams about the only thing that he ever wanted, the only thing that ever mattered. He dreams about something that every man should thank the gods for, that they have it.’’

He turns his head and finally looks you in the eye when speaking. ‘’He dreams about you, your grace.’’

The doors of your bedroom are opened from the otherside, and a red haired green wearing woman enters with quick, precise steps, her hands folded against her stomach and her glare judgemental when she takes you and Aemon in, sitting close to one another. She even clears her throat to annouche herself. ‘’Ahum.’’ Alicent Hightower is here.

Aemond rises from the bed, quickly going to his mother. ‘’Mother, you shouldn’t have come here.’’ He tells her in a warm, hushed voice. You let them be, touching Aegon’s warm cheeks and caressing his face. You think back of the many times he was sitting in front of you, with his nose in a book he didn’t want to read, before his bright eyes wandered to your face, listening as you would read to him.

You know Alicent well, by now. She already lost her only daughter, now she is about to lose her first born son. She pushes Aemond gently aside, and once again you hear her footsteps approach you. ‘’If the gods did not want me to see my son, they would have taken him away from me already.’’ Alicent then looks at her son, sleeping quietly, his face half blackened, his eyebrows gone and his arm that is now half metal. She does not speak a single word, but keeps staring at him, her mouth forming wordless prayers only the gods may hear. When she is finished, she lifts her head before addressing you and Aemond but barely looking at you. ‘’If you both can please join us, we have a emergency council meeting.’’

—------------------------------------------------------------

The small council room is not unfamiliar to you. You have been here at various times. The first time will always be unforgettable. You had woken up after the dinner, in Aemond’s bed, and heard your father had died. You stumbled into the chamber, and found your father with his head smashed in, still sitting his seat, still wearing his pin. Today, you sit in that chair, and you firmly believe it will be your head that will be smashed in this time.

The way Alicent smiles says it all. She has a plan to make sure that the Hightowers once again prevail, and once again that means that justice, honesty and the good will have the bow for their plots and schemes. She sits in the chair of your husband, of your king. Just her, sitting in that chair is enough to cause you worry. Luckily Aemond is here as well, although you doubt it that he would pick your side over hers. Alicent speaks, looking around the room and addressing the council of Aegon II. ‘’We are here today with a sorrowful task. My son, your king, was injured in battle, possibly beyond recovery.’’ Her hazelnut brown eyes are piercing holes in yours as she speaks, clearly blaming you for the possible death of her son. ‘’We have come here today, to choose an heir.’’ You slowly raise your brows.

‘’It was my husband’s wish to see our son take the Iron throne.’’ You interrupt her sharply. ‘’To discuss anyone else would be the highest of treason. Maelor nor Jaehaera are well enough to rule the kingdoms, you know this as their grandmother.’’

‘’And yet your son is? You are still with child. We do not know for certain if the child born will be a male, your grace.’’ Maester Orwyle speaks, keeping his gaze lowered and his hands hidden in the pockets of his tunic.

The weasel that is Jasper begins interfering too, reminding you all of the ancient succession laws that have been at work longer than any of you. ‘’And aside from that, the rule of succession has been very clear. You are only a queen-consort. Should anything happen to Aegon, you have no heirs with him that can take the throne. So, the throne will pass to the eldest living descendant of the former king.’’ From the corner of your eye, you notice that Aemond almost perks up at this conclusion.

Alicent folds her hands, leaning on the table before turning to her son. You palen, following her gaze and turning your head to Aemond as well. ‘’Aemond, I know it is a lot to ask. But until your brother either recovers or dies, do you wish to take the crown and lead the kingdoms?’’ She asks him.

Aemond thinks for a moment, before giving a nod. You glare at him. This is all he ever wanted, to rule the kingdoms. He doesn't care that he has to do it over the back of his comatic brother, or you, the girl he once loved so dearly. ‘’Yes, mother. I shall carry my duty and birthright with honor and pride.’’ You slam your hands on the table.

The fragile sphere in the room changes every passing moment. Tyland Lannister comes with another proposal however. ‘’Our king is as good as dead. He has no heirs left. He started this war nearly 2 years ago now. We all lost so much. We suffered so much.’’

A hush falls over the small council as every one of you considers the words of Tyland. ‘’We must surrender now, bend the knee to Rhaenyra, perhaps she’ll be merciful.’’

Several people erupt into protest, all but yourself. Aemond is the first to talk, rising to stand when pointing in your direction with clear disgust written on his face. ‘’Surrender? Are you insane? Brienne is pregnant with Aegon’s child. Do you know what will happen to her?’’ Your child will die. Rhaenyra won’t allow another challenger to her throne to live. He will die, your son.

Alicent huffs. ‘’Nothing she did not deserve for endangering him in the first place.’’ Your blood becomes cold and Aemond has to hold you back from ripping the red curls from her skull.

Your protests are in vain. ‘’I won’t stand for this. This is treason!’’ You look around for the other members, Criston being your best shot. He owes you a favor. Multiple ones. He killed your father, he proposed the plan that led to Aegon’s demise, and he is hand now because of you. ‘’Ser Criston…’’

But one look at him and you know you won’t have his support. ‘’The prince will make a fine ruler, my Lady. You did well, as Queen. But without Aegon, you are only our consort.’’ You become teary-eyed. He took everything from you and you made him the second most powerful man in the realm, and how does he repay you for that?

Alicent smugly smiles, trying to hide it very well but her eyes shimmer with sadism. ‘’Perhaps the Queen can be removed from the small council and brought to her chambers? She should be resting this late into her pregnancy.’’ You huff, ignoring that statement.

She turns to her son for further support. ‘’Aemond, you are our King now. Decide what must be done with her.’’ What must be done with you? What will they even do, execute you?

You growl at Alicent. ‘’I carry your grandchild inside of me!’’

Alicent is unfazed or unbothered by your outcries only proving her points that you are not well because of your pregnancy. ‘’You tried to rob my other grandchildren of their birthright. You tried to outsmart me and you failed. Yield, Lady Brienne of house Beesbury.’’

Aemond Targaryen takes one look at you before nodding, turning his gaze anywhere but at you.

‘’Yes, I quite agree.’’

This is treason. ‘’Aemond,’’ you warn him with a stern glare. Aemond ignores you as the guards surround you. ‘’Aemond, I warn you.’’ You add. Aemond simply shrugs, ignoring you. As a naughty brat you are sent to your chambers. You spent the next few days alone in your rooms with maids to attend your every need. But you are not allowed to leave anymore. Not until your child is born. Finally on the 5th day, Aemond decides it's time for a visit.

He greets you with a respectful bow. You curtsy to him before walking over to him, and hitting him so hard across his face that you are convinced that for a moment, just a brief moment, the sight in his left eye came back. He hisses in pain and displeasure as you walk back to the chair you were sitting in, and sit yourself down. ‘’What do you want?’’ You demand.

He nervously folds his hands on his back. ‘’I’ve come to see you.’’ He speaks, as if he is your lover. You glare.

And then you ignore him. ‘’Oh. Am I allowed to give birth to my child or will you cut it out now that you are the king?’’ You remark.

He wrinkled his nose in pure disgust before faithfully kneeling by your side. ‘’I’m only the Prince regent. And that’s the stupidest sentence that ever left your lips.’’ He whispers. He gently lays a hand on your belly. ‘’No one, including myself, will take your child from you.’’

It breaks you, shatters you into dozens of little pieces. You break into sobs, clutching him tightly when begging to not be let go of. ‘’I’m so scared.’’

You whisper.

He tries to be as respectful as possible. ‘’I know. You are safe with me. The maester said it must be a few days before you give birth, so I’m off to attend some duties in the Riverlands. You’ll be left in their care.’’ How can you be safe with him if he’s flying to the fucking Riverlands?

You grab his hands. ‘’Please stay.’’

He coldly pushes your fingers away, almost as if your touch kills him. ‘’You know I can’t. But I will return to you.’’ He promises and for a moment you are frozen as his lips come closer and closer and finally leave a soft kiss on your hair. Aemond walks out of the room, and does not look back

The next morning, early, you awake from sharp pains in your stomach. You notice there is a puddle of water on your bed linen, together with blood. A sharp pain sends you into a cry, ending a long moan. Your baby is coming.

One of your ladies rushes in the moment she hears your cries, delighted. ‘’The Queen is giving birth! Fetch Maester Orwyle! She tells another lady, as you whirt and twist in agony and pain. The pain feels as if your child is ripping your insides to shreds. Two other ladies rush up to you, with linen and begin undressing you of your nightgown.

The wetnurses help you deliver your child, who comes into this world screaming, kicking and red faced. Your son comes into the cruel world, and you are so proud he is finally here, but mostly glad it is just over.

Your baby cries and is hushed to sleep. ‘’She is healthy, my Queen.’’ The wetnurse speaks as she dresses your child. You hear her words. That can’t be right.

‘’She?’’ You remark, beyond disappointed. The wetnurse holds your daughter, taking in your sullen expression. A she. A her. A daughter. It is a disappointment to you. An innocent baby has become a disappointment to you, because you have become a cold-blooded survivor. A girl like her will never sit the throne.

You laugh, a little deliriously as you are inspected by the worried Maester. ‘’Aegon was so excited for a son.’’ You mutter.

The wetnurse tries to hand you your baby but you refuse the child, especially when you see one set of clear blue eyes all too familiar to you looking back. Eyes that will never open. You refuse to hold your child. ‘’I don’t want to hold it.’’ You confess, stubbornly turning away from your only child.

‘’Put in the crib and be done with it.’’

Tears sting and threaten to fall. You are helped out of bed, before your linen is changed. You are given a new gown and change into it. You have failed Aegon. You will never have his son. He will never have his heir, and he will never rule this kingdom again. You are all sheep waiting to be slaughtered by Rhaenyra’s butchers. ‘’But my Queen, this is a cause of celebration…’’ The maester tries to cheer you up. You glare in his direction.

‘’There is nothing to celebrate. And I am not your queen. I’m no one’s. Not until our king wakes up.’’ After that you don’t speak a single word.

Slowly but surely, the wetnurses, the ladies that were ready to bestow you well wishes, everyone that came happily into your rooms, is turned to silence and leaves you alone. You close the curtains and lay in the dark, staring at the ceiling.

‘’Shut up.’’ You tell her. ‘’I don’t want anything to do with you.’’ You confess. The baby ignores you, crying loudly. You begin to cry as well. ‘’You were my last chance. You were my final hope to solve this madness.’’ You wordlessly mumble, rocking yourself as grief and despair take hold of you. You scream it out, kicking against the bed and hurting yourself in the process. ‘’Why gods?!’’ You take a swing at the vase at your bed stand where witherflowers are standing. Flowers Aegon gave you, the day your pregnancy was confirmed. The vase shatters as your soul, into dozens of tiny pieces.

The child keeps crying.

You let her cry.

Perhaps she won’t make it.

Finally, it becomes silent.

Peaceful almost.

A calm before the storm.

And yet you can’t sleep. Your mind wonders how your baby is doing. You stand up, your steps becoming quicker and quicker as you approach the sleeping baby. You pick her up, shake her until she opens her eyes. She looks at you, before breaking into a smile. You chuckle, despite your tears. You put her against your chest and start rocking the baby to sleep.

You saw her as a curse.

A plague.

But now you see her for who she is.

A blessing, a solution.

You kiss her head, where tiny silver hairs are growing. You walk to your favorite reading chair and sit down with her clutched to your chest, eagerly drinking by you. You smile at how easy it all goes. You’re a natural. Your mother wasn’t there for you when growing up. A fever took her. You hope that you will be there for your daughter. You want to be her friend, her mother, her guide and her counselor. You want your daughter to grow up and you want to cherish these moments. Your only regret is that Aegon is not here to see her.

You think long of a name for your princess, for your sweetest baby. You want to be her friend, yes. But she is a Targaryen. She has proved herself strong and clever already, but her name must be meaningful. It must hold importance to Aegon’s house, and sway Alicent. And just like that: You just know what to call her.

You kiss her head, putting her back in her crib as she gently sleeps. ‘’Sleep well, my Helaena.’’ You tell her, before putting the blanket around her body.

—-------

The next time you awake, Helaena is crying loudly, alarming you. You sigh before grabbing your chamberobe and rushing over to her crib. But it's empty. You rush to the sitting room, perhaps she is there. When you open the door to the hall, you notice there are 6 beheaded men outside your room, clearly killed in combat.

You don’t think rational when you hear Helaena’s cry again, opening the door and rushing in. You see two men standing near the windows, one has Helaena in his big savage hands. The other holds an axe, big enough to cut a tree. You rush to them. ‘’Let her go! She is innocent. Queen Rhaenyra and me are friends.’’ You demand them, but at the same time you try to reason with them.

The tiny one scoffs. ‘’Queen Rhaenyra said that you became the enemy the moment you slept with Aegon.’’ You gawk at him, at a loss for words.

So you do the only thing you can think of. You plead. ‘’Please, she is my daughter. Perhaps my only child. She is the light of my life, do not snuff her out.’’ You beg. ‘’I didn’t kill Lucerys. I didn’t start this war! I’m a victim, just as Queen Rhaenyra. Take me hostage and I’ll prove it to you, but don’t kill her.’’ You beg.

The two hesitate, briefly. But that moment ends.

The one with the knife brings it to Helaena’s small chest, before stabbing it right through her flesh, causing blood to spray. You watch as your daughter is murdered.

Helaena lets out one final cry, before her cries die a miserable death just as she does. Your world crumbles to ashes right in front of you as you sink to your knees, and watch as the heart of your daughter is carved out of her chest. You begin to scream and sob at the same time, but you don’t bother to run anymore. They can have you, if they must.

One of the killers moves his bloodied knife to your neck. ‘’Don’t worry lassy. There is someone upstairs taking care of your sick king. You will be with your daughter and your king soon.’’ They sent an assassin after Aegon too. At least he will be free from this misery soon. At least you will be free of this misery soon.

Until the door is opened and several armed men of the King’s guard enter the room. You are tossed in their path as a blockade before the two leave, taking your daughter’s heart with them. Your daughter remains on the ground in a puddle of her own blood. Ser Criston is the first to notice you both. ‘’Gods, it’s the Queen!’ He rushes to your side, helping you stand and quickly checks if you are unhurt. ‘’My lady, your grace? Are you unharmed?’’ You laugh, before bursting into tears, pointing at Helaena.

‘’My heart is…it’s broken.’’ You mutter, as your hands start to shake violently. You have trouble seeing as dots and worms dance over your vision, blinding you almost. Ser Criston grabs you by your hips, lifting you over his shoulders and carries you out of the room.

‘’My child…’’ You protest but Cole does not care. He carries you to the throne room, where Aemond is waiting for you. The moment he sees you, covered in blood he mutters something to the gods, likely a thank you. He rushes to you, grabbing you by your hips before holding you so tightly that you cannot breath. But you doubt that has much to do with his hug.

‘’Ser Criston. Thank you. I assume the Prince is safe too?’’ He asks. Prince. He didn’t hear. He came so early from the Riverlands too, he must have heard it and came as fast as he could.

Ser Arryk returns, carrying the body of your daughter, her body in a fresh new gown, hiding the fact that she was murdered. Arryk puts the child before your feet, as Aemond’s confused smile becomes a horrible ugly scowl, as he takes deep breaths. ‘’Who was responsible for this?’’ He demands. Arryk shakes his head.

You can’t believe this stupidity.

‘’Who do you think? Who has it always been?’’ You grit out. ‘’Your sister. That whore at Dragonstone, that Maegor with Tits!’’ The surrounding nobles take notice of you saying this but you don’t care anymore. You know it is Rhaenyra, they confirmed it yourself.

You’ll never get to see Helaena grow up, or to teach her how to sing. She’ll never fly a dragon, hold her first ball or meet the love of her life. She was robbed of it all by Rhaenyra.

Another guard drags in the two assassins, now in chains and severely beaten. ‘’The assassins have been captured.’’ He tells Aemond. Another beheaded man is brought before the prince regent as well. ‘’This scum tried to kill the King. He didn't make it very far.’’ The guard dryly comments. You nod, studying the head of the man.

You see the man that killed your daughter. You take a dagger from Aemond’s belt, before rushing at him, and slashing the assassin’s left eye open. Blood comes pouring out when he screams, but you don’t stop just yet. You drive the dagger deeply into the socket, causing the eye to completely be ruined. Then, you twist it. You rip the shirt from his chest. You make an outline with the dagger where his heart should be. ‘’May the gods have mercy on your Queen. She came for my daughter’s heart, I will send her yours in return.’’ You vow. You drag the knife deep in his skin as if he is a tree and your knife is an axe. You drop your knife before taking his own, and you carve his heart out when he still lives, cutting loose the bloodied organ. When you are finished, your hands are drained in blood and the man has fallen to his knees, dead. You give the heart to one of your ladies maids. ‘’Give it to the Dragons. It is time they start learning to eat traitors.’’ Aemond watches, a fascinated smirk on his lips.

You do feel tired, and let him kill the other assassin with an unexpected but swift slash of his sword that ends in a simple beheading. You pick up your daughter’s still warm corpse and force her to sit on your lap, holding her tightly, feeling the hole where her heart used to be.

Aemond speaks to you when all the others have left, but four guards remain to protect you both. ‘’Your son uhm…’’ He stutters, a bit uncomfortable.

You break into a tearful smile. ‘’It was a girl, Aemond. She had the most beautiful smile I ever saw. Her eyes were like Aegons, bright and blue. They were ever so bright, even when they cut her heart out of her chest.’’ Aemond boils with rage next to you. ‘’I named her Helaena, after my best friend, your shared sister.’’ You tell him. He does not even listen. He walks to the doors and two guards follow him, before he disappears leaving you alone with your child.

You prepare Helaena later for her meeting with the Gods. You wrap and prepare her for her cremation, as is custom. You go to bed, sleeping in Aemond’s olds rooms, the rooms where all of this once started. The guards are in your room now, otherwise you won’t be able to find rest. And you still can’t find rest. Your soul is broken, your heart bleeds and your life looks bleak and meaningless.

You even think of ending it all.

You have suffered and endured enough.

You have been tortured enough.

But something tells you to remain. So you do.

Something inside of you is not done yet. Something wants to continue despite your suffering, despite your heartbreak and despite the fact that you know it can all end in war any moment now.

Months pass without much improvement of your mental health, beside that. You don’t feel happy, you feel fine, but also empty. You feel that Helaena left a void that nothing can fulfill. You are still awake when Aemond comes to you, in one morning. ‘’My queen.’’ He greets you, formally. You don’t look up to meet his eye. You don’t look up for anything anymore. ‘’My regency has ended.’’ That can only mean one thing. Aegon has been declared dead.

Aemond breaks into a broad smile and you feel hope for the first time in months. ‘’Your grace, it is a miracle. Bless the gods, for he woke up.’’

You are let into Aegon’s chambers, and you are confronted with your husband, sitting in his bed, alive. His eyes are open and you are confronted with the loss of your child. His lips break into a smile when he sees you approaching. ‘’There is my queen.’’ He tells you with a sweet smile. He looks at your stomach and bends his head slightly. You silently sit by his side, just taking him in.

Aemond and the other attendees leave, giving you both rest and privacy. You gently embrace your husband, burying yourself into his sweet safe embrace. He hugs you back, smiling. ‘’I am back. I won’t go easily.’’ He jests. You have the awful suspicious feeling that he doesn't know what has happened yet.

He sees your smile and caresses your face before kissing your stiff frozen lips and whispering in your ear. ‘’Now where is my heir? Where is my son?’’

a/n:

In case ya need it:

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