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#and people kept asking if I was on Spotify
elliebartlets · 1 year
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I’m ok with this
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ghost-proofbaby · 9 months
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twenty four hours (modern!eddie munson x fem!reader)
→ tropes: enemies to lovers, forced proximity, slow burn
→ warnings: strong language, smut (oral, f receiving), overload of cheesiness, upside down does not exist, minors dni
→ wc: 11.8k+
→ a/n: this might be the cheesiest, fluffiest thing i've ever written, and i can't even be bothered to care. it might be unrealistic. it might be too much. i do not care. this has been a long time coming and i think we all deserve all the cheese after this story.
i don't even know what to say besides thank you. thank you to everyone who followed along from the beginning, to those of you joined the journey along the way, to those of you who are reading as we finish it up. thank you for all the support and love you guys have shown this fic. i will always, always, appreciate it more than i know how to say. i love these idiots, and i love you all.
if you would like to see this story continued through small blurbs, my ask box is officially open to requests from this universe. i will also probably be posting some "beyond the hours" content over the next few weeks.
thank you. i love you.
without further ado...
masterlist.
spotify playlist.
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EPILOGUE: A BET
TWO MONTHS LATER
“Why are there so many fuckin’ options?” 
Eddie stares at the line up of smartphones before him, all different models and different physical sizes, different colors and different memory amounts. 
“There’s not that many,” you murmur, wrapping your arms around him from behind as you rest your chin on his shoulder. It’s a bit of a stretch, making you lean up onto your tippy toes, “Besides, isn’t having options a good thing?” 
He scoffs as he brings a hand up subconsciously to where your arms overlap on his torso, grip gentle as he runs a thumb over your skin and gives a squeeze, “Sure, options are great. But there’s at least twenty different iPhones on display here, sweetheart.” 
The last few months had been interesting, to say the least. A new and exciting journey initially, but also a fairly stressful ordeal given all the hoops you two had been jumping through. You’re both busy people, having to suddenly figure out how to carve out a specific space for each other amongst bustling lives. It wasn’t the same as making time for friends or a weekly night out; it was figuring out times for dates, times for lazy afternoons, times for just you and just Eddie.
And, occasionally, time to take Eddie shopping for a new phone. Finally.
“Well, better pick one fast,” your fingers dig into his side playful, and he blows out an annoyed breath as he side-eyes you. You only retaliate in a fast peck to his cheek before whispering in his ear, “We’re gonna be late if you keep taking all day.” 
It was Argyle’s birthday party tonight. His actual birthday wasn’t for another week, but he’d be venturing back home to California for that. And so the group elected to throw him a preemptive party at one of the group’s favorite bars. 
Which — fine. Awesome. You were excited, you really were: you loved Argyle, you loved your friends, you even found yourself warming back up to parties.
But your friends didn’t know. 
Two whole months, and neither you nor Eddie had told a single soul of what had become between you two. Not even Steve. Not even Nancy. 
At first the excuse was to give this time to grow, to find your footing before you brought your lovable yet rambunctious group of friends into the equation. But then you two had found your footing, and you’d worried what they would say. Eddie had nearly made himself sick with anxiety over Nancy finding out he’d kept this relationship from her. They’d support you two — that wasn’t a worry. They’d proven that since the first time the entire group had hung out after the bet.
“So,” Robin started, narrowing her eyes at you and Eddie sitting on opposite ends of her and Steve’s couch. Neither of you had said a word to each other yet (Plenty had already been said that morning as you’d snuck him out of your dorm), “You two really aren’t together?” 
“Why is everyone so adamant that the bet has to end with us getting together?” you jeered.
Eddie didn’t help the cause when he was quick to take your side, “Exactly! The bet’s over. We lasted twenty four hours. We’re friends now — isn’t that what you guys wanted?” 
“I actually wanted to help you dudes plan a winter wedding,” Argyle chimed from the kitchen where he was retrieving a coke, “So I’m gonna side with Birdie on this one.” 
“Of course you are,” you muttered beneath your breath. 
Everything in you ached to be sitting next to Eddie rather than so far. You ached for his arm around you, his lips pressed to your temple. Just to share body heat, even — innocent thighs brushing with layers of denim between would have been enough.  
“It’ll happen eventually,” Nancy mused from her seat on the kitchen counter, Jonathan beside her and matching her confident energy with a sly grin, “Just give them time.” 
What they hadn’t realized is that it already did happen. The moment Eddie showed up to your dorm and the two of you said to Hell with space, it was inevitable. 
Now, it was just the challenge of letting your friends in on the secret.
“What about the red one?” Eddie asks you as you finally unravel from him.
“Of course you’re choosing the red one.” 
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he scowls, no malice behind it as you step up to occupy the space next to him, brushing shoulders for only a moment before his hand is grabbing yours, intertwining fingers like second nature. 
You recall that moment on his balcony, where he had once been so nervous and hesitant to hold your hand. 
“Nothing,” you shake your head, smiling to yourself as you look at the specific model he was talking about, “You’re just getting a little bit predictable, Munson.” 
He opens his mouth to argue, to nip back at what you always offer him, when one of the salesmen approach you two.
“Hi folks! Can I help you with anything today?”
Eddie squeezes your hand, no doubt in an effort to withhold his laughter at the man’s overly chirpy tone. You squeeze back, if for nothing more than to let him know you felt him.
Despite Eddie’s previous claim to a decision, he still chooses to entertain the man. Asking questions about different models, inquiring for recommendations as if they’d change his mind. They go back and forth, both polite enough, but the conversation easily bores you. In five seconds flat, your mind has officially wandered off.
You two hadn’t really discussed the specific details of the night to come. Whether you’d ride with Eddie there, how you’d navigate Eddie’s natural born clinginess once he got a few drinks in him, if tonight might be the night to finally tell your friends. 
The last one felt a bit obvious. It was Argyle’s night — you didn’t want to snatch the attention from him for even a second. 
But there were layers to your anxiety. Because it was more than just how to navigate how you two would display yourselves to your friends on nights out. 
It had been two months, and you still hadn’t said those three little words back to Eddie.
He didn’t pressure you. He never once brought it back up, never once pressured you. But just because he wasn’t constantly reminding you vocally that he loved you didn’t mean you didn’t feel it. You’d felt it, impossible to miss, when all those lazy morning fantasies became reality. You felt it during movie marathons and you felt it every time he’d worship your body. It was there — in the late nights, in the early mornings, in the dull afternoons. A wild thing unleashed in your gardens, all those vines you’d worked so hard to see flourish threatened to be torn up by impatient claws at the feeling growing rapidly in your chest every time you looked at him.
And slowly, surely, you knew that there was only so much longer that like could suffice in describing your feelings for Eddie. 
You were falling, whether he was aware or not. You just needed to figure out the right moment for those three little words to unstick, to go from hot honey on your tongue to easy breaths between you two. He’s given you time, he’d filled the months you’d awarded him with making up for every previously bitter exchange, and yet you still couldn’t give him this. And you’re starting to believe maybe that’s why you couldn’t imagine telling your friends yet. 
You sort of hated yourself for it.
You’re pulled back to reality once the salesman departs, no doubt into the back to grab Eddie’s choice of phone. You don’t even have to ask; you know he got the red one.
“Hey,” Eddie fully turns to you, bringing your knuckles to his lips in chaste kisses. Your stomach still kicks with flutters, your heart still warms at the gesture. Eddie’s affection has yet to lose novelty, “Where’d you go?”
“What do you mean?” you twist your face, “I was here the entire tim-“
“Not where’d you physically go,” he clarifies, letting your conjoined hands drop back to the sliver of space between your bodies, “Mentally. Where’d your mind just go?”
 You hadn’t thought he’d notice your drifting.
“Nowhere,” you shrug off.
“Nowhere? So you’re really just that interested in the newest iPhone model?” 
He pointedly looks up at the widescreen display you don’t doubt you’d been blankly staring at the entirety of his conversation with the man who had yet to return.
“Oh, absolutely. You know me so well.” 
All bark, no bite. These days, all the previous venom that had infected exchanges with Eddie prior to the bet had finally been sucked clean from the wound, long gone to make room for all the genuine affection to seep into its place. You still argued — or perhaps bantered was a better word for it — but you didn’t fight. You both still grated on one another’s nerves and managed to slither beneath the other’s skin, but not in an unwelcome way. 
It was a nice change.
It made you hate yourself even more for not saying those three little words. 
Eddie seemingly reads your mind, “Are you nervous for tonight?”
“I-“ you consider lying to him and saying it hadn’t even crossed your mind, but the look he gives you warns against it, “We just haven’t… discussed it.” 
“What’s there to discuss?” 
You hold up your interlocked hands for emphasis, raising your eyebrows at Eddie.
His mouth falls open softly, eyes widening, “Oh. Are you- Are you wanting to tell them tonight?” 
No, your gut screams, absolutely not tonight.
“Is Argyle’s birthday party really the best time to explode their minds?” 
You try to keep your tone teasing as you sense Eddie’s own nerves creeping up. Sometimes it was fun, standing in a room with everyone and pretending to be more akin to strangers than lovers. But sometimes, it was just plain painful. Sometimes, the entire group would be laughing at something, and you craved nothing more than to be pressed into Eddie’s side and feel the vibrations of his shared joy rather than just having to listen to it from across the room. 
It’s not that you wanted to tell your friends and cause a scene — you just didn’t want to have to hide anymore. And maybe you wouldn’t have to, if you’d just tell him how you felt.
“Probably not,” Eddie murmurs, “I mean, it’s his night. We can always tell them the next time we all get together.”
The issue is that’s what the two of you always say. You always brush it off for the next time. 
You can only sigh in defeat as you see the salesman finally bounding back out from the back room, a small box holding Eddie’s purchase in his grip, “Yeah. Next time.” 
You can’t even be mad at next time. It’s the same thing you tell yourself every time you felt those words on the tip of your tongue, so close yet so far from revealing the most terrifying truth you’d discovered yet to Eddie.
You let go of his hand long enough for him to check out, hardly overhearing when he questions how they can transfer all the data from his current flip phone. When he seems particularly worried about pictures transferring, you don’t think anything of it.
STEVE-O: do i need to pick you up tonight? 
You don’t see the text. You’re a bit busy with something when it comes through.
Something is currently still between your legs, curls threaded between your fingers as your back arches off his mattress and his name starts to come out as a desperate whimper rather than a chant. 
STEVE-O: ???
The initial buzz of your phone on his nightstand doesn’t phase either of you. Eddie’s tongue still works you eagerly, circling your clit as you tug particularly harshly at his roots. Each flick sends white hot pleasure through your bones, nearly making you see stars.
“Fuck,” you gasp out when he brings his fingers into the mix. You can feel his smile against you as he curls his fingers inside of you, mimicking a come hither motion and relishing in your little pants as your thighs tighten around his shoulders, “Oh, fuck. Right there, Eddie. I- Eddie.” 
The way you’re moaning his name only encourages him as he slips in a second finger, stretching you further. You feel cool metal bumping your entrance, sending shocks up your spine as his lips suction against you and he sucks hard.
He hadn’t even taken the time to remove his rings when the two of you had gotten home. He had been too eager, dragging you to his bedroom with his lips attached to your neck from the moment he’d shut the front door behind the two of you until he’d thrown you down on his bed.
“That’s right, baby,” his voice vibrates against your clit, “Say my name. Tell everyone who’s making you feel this goo-“
STEVE-O: helllooooo????
“Okay, who the fuck keeps texting you?” Eddie finally pulls back when he realizes you’re slipping out of that bubble he’d created, your head having turned towards the nightstand in curiosity, “Let me guess, it’s your other boyfriend?” 
Your head is still spinning and your chest continues to heave from that lingering pleasure he’d been offering so generously to you. He sounds annoyed, but you can guarantee you’re even more irked. 
“I don’t have another boyfriend,” you blandly reply, not taking his bait.
It only makes him wrap his hands around your thighs on his shoulder, giving a playful squeeze as you reach out for your phone. 
“You sure?” 
You squint at the notifications, but don’t properly read them, only rolling your eyes at both the fact that Steve’s the one interrupting this precious moment and at Eddie’s valiant teasing.
You slam the phone back down, eyes trailing down to his, “I am, but I can certainly find another boyfriend if you don’t get your mouth back on me in the next three seconds-“ 
He doesn’t need a second warning. In an instant, the warmth of his tongue is back on you, lapping at all the spots he’s come to memorize as of recently. That pleasure comes back into reach, edging your vision with feathery black as your eyes flutter shut and the coil in your stomach tightens.
You throw your head back into one of his pillows, one that has started to smell like your shampoo now rather than his, and let a drawn out whine escape your lips.
“You were saying?” he teases, grinning wickedly. He takes that brief moment to come up for air, turning and sinking his teeth into the soft flesh of your thigh beside his cheek. Not hard enough to draw blood, and probably not hard enough to leave indents. But it is enough to have you preening once more as your heels dig into his bare back and you try to lift your hips, desperate for his mouth again.
He was edging you. Without even meaning to, he was repeatedly bringing you to the edge only to leave you teetering. 
With your focus back on him, you can admire how pretty he looks. Mouth slick with you, pupils blown out, hair an absolute mess. You like him best this way, you think, when he looks so absolutely devoted to you. When he’s looking at you with a hunger you almost can’t place. It makes you want to scream from the rooftops about how you’ve fallen for him. How you feel so much more than like for your boy. 
STEVE-O: seriously. if you don’t respond, you can just walk. you have five minutes.
At the buzz of the phone, your hands leave Eddie’s hair to form fists, pounding them into the mattress at your side in a brief tantrum. He ceases all actions, pulling his lips away from you again, and it only makes you pout more. 
“Baby,” he coos, fingers trailing up the sides of your thighs before he reaches out to hold your fists down, “Maybe you should answer him. Tell him to fuck off-“
Eddie’s interrupted as your phone fully bursts to life with your ringtone.
You were going to kill Steve Harrington. 
“On second thought, let me answer it,” Eddie groans as you reach out and grab it once more, “Give the fucker a piece of my mind.”
“Shut up,” you hiss as you realize it’s Robin calling. You turn the screen so he can see, and his eyebrows lift in surprise.
He makes no move to remove himself from between your legs, though. He stays face to face with your aching core.
“Hello?” you snap after swiping to answer.
“Finally! My God, Steve’s been texting you-“
“I didn’t see the texts.”
“Do you need a ride?”
“Nope.” 
You’ve never been so short with your friends. 
But that pleasure is slipping from you, the flames of your impending orgasm dying down to nothing more than embers. It’s enough to piss anyone off. 
“Are you sure?” Robin asks, sounding genuinely concerned, “It’s kind of a far walk-“
“I’m running late,” you sigh, realizing that you were going to have to come up with a lie to get off the hook. Another thing you hated about the hiding — it led to your friendships being littered with dishonesty. Always a new excuse as to why you weren’t available, always feigning reasons as to why you didn’t reply to texts as timely as you used to. “With getting ready. I could- I don’t know, do you think Eddie might pick me up? Isn’t my dorm along the way to the bar from his place?” 
At the mention of his name, he perks up. His cheek settles against the exact spot he had bit just moments before, nearly nuzzling into you as your free hand comes down to gently push back his bangs. On instinct, you find yourself soothingly pressing your fingertips in slow circles against his scalp. You’re nearly melting beneath his soft gaze, those big and wide eyes locked on you with bated breath.
“You want Eddie to pick you up?” you suddenly hear Steve exclaim in the background.
Your face scrunches up, a wrinkle forming across the bridge of your nose and between your brows. It’s so damn cute to Eddie that he can’t help but press a quick kiss to the skin he continues to lay into, beginning to smile as your absent-minded head massage continues. 
So much more than like.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know I was on speaker.” 
“Why do you want Munson to pick you up?” Steve ignores your sarcasm, voice sounding closer to the phone now, “He drives a motorcycle, you know. That’s dangerous.” 
Eddie must be able to catch some of Steve’s shrill exclamation, his eyebrows raising ever so slightly. You feel his curious hum against your skin and you don’t hesitate putting your own pesky friends on speaker. 
“Motorcycles are not that dangerous,” you retort, and it makes Eddie have to hide a slight scoff into your thigh in an effort to stay silent. It was ironic that they cared about how safe it would be for you to ride with Eddie on his bike now, after that allegedly dangerous vehicle had been your main source of transportation for nearly two months now, “He has a helmet, right?” 
“Isn’t your dorm the opposite direction of the bar from his place?” Robin questions, “I mean, I’m all for you asking lover boy if he’ll give you a ride but-”
Steve interrupts her flatly, “It’s making him go out of his way. Besides, he might have already left for the bar by now.” 
You don’t know what to silently laugh at first. The assumption they were making that couldn’t be further from the truth, or Robin’s new nickname for Eddie. 
Lover boy is fitting for him in this current position. He’s still latching onto your leg, cuddling you in every way he could from where he laid, staring at you and hanging onto your every last word. The poster boy for pathetically in love, he gives your leg another kiss, starting a fiery trail with his lips until he reaches your knee. It pangs in your chest, wondering if he can see your feelings also painted so obviously across your face. 
“Steve,” you murmur, breath catching in your throat as Eddie’s lips linger in the ditch of your knee. It takes a second to remember you’re on the phone, “No offense, but Eddie hasn’t been on time to a single get together the entire time I’ve known him.” 
Eddie reacts in real time to your insult, forcing an over-exaggerated offended look before he bites you again. This time, his teeth do leave an imprint from his nip, and it makes you slap a hand over your mouth to avoid yelping. 
Don’t bite me, you mouth at him. 
Don’t be mean, he answers right back, silent as ever. 
“Technically we’re all already late,” Steve points out. It makes you sit up quickly, startling Eddie in the process. You squint at the clock across the room and- fuck. Steve was right, “Nancy just texted me that she and Jon are there, Argyle’s on his way. She said she tried texting Eddie but didn’t get any response,” there’s a long pause as you motion wildly for Eddie to get up with you, the boy watching as you fling yourself off his mattress and carry the phone with you to his dresser, “Have… you heard from him recently?” 
“Why are you saying it like that?” you jab, throwing open one of the drawers Eddie had cleared out for you to keep some clothes here in his apartment. At this point, a good chunk of the tuition you paid was going to waste considering the fact you rarely spent the night at your dorm. You were already half moved into Eddie’s space. 
You try not to think too hard about it, because just last week, you’d had a panic attack at the revelation. 
You were afraid of smothering him, even if he was the one always insisting you could leave more of your things here. He was always the one conning you into spending another night, promising soft murmurs of giving you a ride to class the next morning if you did. You rarely ever had much of the choice in the matter; once he’d wrap his arms around your waist, curl his body flush against yours, it was always game over.
Practically living together, and you still hadn’t said those words back to him. 
“I’m not saying it like anything!” Steve defends himself, “I’m just asking an innocent question!” Eddie’s snort this time is audible, and you freeze as Steve clearly mistakes it for your laughter, “Shut up. It’s a reasonable question. You guys are friends now, remember?” 
Friends. Of course, because all your friends jumped at the chance to bury their mouths against your cunt and make you cum repeatedly until you had tears streaming down your cheeks. Because you let all your friends sleep in the same bed as you, and wake you up by burying deep within you as they bite your shoulder with a moan. You and Eddie were friends. 
“Trust me,” you glance over your shoulder in your haste, looking at Eddie as he stretches out on his side and props himself up on his elbow, “I remember.” 
He gives you a knowing smile, squinting his eyes at you in entertainment. 
“Babe, it really would just be easier for you to ride with us,” Robin’s voice sounds again as you tug a shirt out of the drawer, something casual and comfortable that you could style for the night, “Unless you’re just hellbent on having alone time with Eddie for some reason-”
“I’m not hellbent on being alone with him, Robs.” 
Another lie. I definitely am. But not in the context you think. 
“You just sound like you are.”
“Well, I’m not,” you yank a pair of black jeans free from the drawer and slam it shut, standing and turning to Eddie. 
He hardly has time to react before you’re tossing your phone down on the mattress in front of him, the small device bouncing and hitting his chest. He winces and throws himself back dramatically, letting out a small oof that you pray neither Robin or Steve pick up on. 
As you dress, throwing on the random t-shirt and shimmying on your jeans, Robins laughs, “Denial isn’t a good look on you.” 
Eddie watches you, never moving to get ready himself. All he does is stare as you button up the pants. 
When you give him an expectant look, he merely mouths, bra? 
You shake your head. You don’t know where Eddie had flung your undergarment, and you’re not in the mood to frantically search for it. You’ve gone without a bra before – you can survive one night out without one. 
Eddie’s entire face and chest immediately flushes pink. Cute.  
“Now you guys are just being assholes,” you scowl despite the fact that only Eddie can see it, waving your hands to motion for him to get up and also get dressed, “I’m texting Eddie. If he has already left, I’ll just walk. Fuck you guys.” 
“Tell lover boy I said hi,” Robin teases. 
“Even if he’s already parked at the fucking bar at this point, we both know he’d jump right back on his bike and come pick you up,” Steve’s voice grumbles over the line. 
It almost makes you smile.  “Someone sounds jealous.” 
“Not jealous, just annoyed,” Steve corrects as Eddie finally stands from the bed, “When are you two going to get your shit together?”
“What do you mean?” you play dumb.
You’ve had this conversation with your friends multiple times. They were truly going to have your head once they realized what you’d been keeping from them for months now. 
“Don’t you have a 4.0 GPA?” Robin inserts herself back into the conversation, “You can’t possibly be this stupid.” 
Eddie pauses in his fumbling with pulling his jeans from the pile he’d left his clothes in at the end of the beg, face scrunching in silent laughter. You almost walk over and smack his bare back angled towards you. 
“First of all, no. I don’t have a 4.0 GPA. Thanks for the reminder,” you grab your phone back off of the bed and decide to leave Eddie behind in the room, heading into the bathroom to finish getting ready. You hate to admit it, but if you have to keep watching him giggle so cutely to himself, you’ll also probably break. And you aren’t in the mood for any further interrogation from Robin and Steve, “Second of all, I’m hanging up now. I’m going to call Eddie. At least he won’t be such a dick to me.” 
“Oh, you must see the irony there-” 
You cut Steve off, “Bye! See you in… like, ten minutes.” 
Once you’ve hung up, you put your phone down on the bathroom counter and look up into the mirror. Your hair is a mess, wild and tangled from all the writhing you had been doing before being so rudely interrupted. You give it your best effort, trying to tame it a little bit to look more presentable, but it’s a lost cause at this point. Fuck it. 
Eddie appears in the doorway behind you, fully dressed and his hair pulled back into a bun, leaning into the door frame with his arms crossed and an impish grin on display, “Oh, you’re going to call me now, sweetheart?” 
You glare at him in a jocosely manner through the reflection, “Don’t look so proud of yourself.” 
He pushes off the frame and comes up behind you, still locking his eyes only through the reflection as he leans his chin over your shoulder, “And what if I don’t want to give you a ride? You have been awfully mean – insulting my punctuality, throwing your phone at me, teasing me by going without a bra. The list goes on and on.” 
Something deep within you stirs, those embers that still ache to burst into a forest fire. You hate that you could easily spend the entire night here with him, letting him take you every which way between his sheets. And even without sinful actions involved, you would be plenty content with just his presence tonight. As a matter of fact, you might be more content with that outcome rather than heading out to see your friends.
Sorry Argyle, you think guiltily. 
“I’m teasing you?” you question just as his hands land on your hips, moving so that he was pressed firmly against the curve of your ass. Making sure you could feel how hard he was against the seam of his jeans’ zipper, “You didn’t even make me cum.” 
“Seems like we’ll both be spending the night frustrated, then,” he smiles, almost gleefully, almost devilishly, “Besides, that was technically Harrington’s fault, not mine. We both know I usually have no problems making you cum on my tongue – without interruptions, of course.”
He rolls his hips ever so slightly into you, and your mouth falls open, eyes going glossy as you continue to stare him down through the mirror.  The stirring in your abdomen is persistent now as your heart hammers against your ribs, mind melting and completely forgetting the obligation at hand. 
And Eddie knows this. He’s well aware of the effect he’s having on you, and it’s deliberate. 
Suddenly, his body completely pulls away from yours, “I’ll meet you downstairs. Don’t want to keep them waiting any longer, do we, sweetheart?” 
Damn him. Damn him, and damn his dimples, and damn how good his legs look in those jeans as he’s walking away from me right now.
You linger in the apartment, alone, for a few extra minutes to compose yourself. Trying to quelch the heat between your hips that had slowly spread across your entire body, threatening to consume you. You even go as far as to splash cool water across your cheeks, giving yourself a few smacks for good measure as you try to prepare yourself to go into public and put on the usual act. And beneath it all, you also hush the animal in your chest, the one that claws at you to tell him. The one that wails everytime you simply tell him you like him, the one that roars when you let another moment slip you by. It has to quiet, just as your flames need to settle, all for the sake of the act.
You deserve a goddamn Oscar at this point. 
After deciding that touching up your makeup would take up far too many precious seconds, you’re darting out of Eddie’s apartment, locking up behind yourself before you head down to where he’s waiting. He’s already straddling his parked bike, the engine roaring to life like the animal inside you as you exit the main doors of the building and his hands extend his only helmet. You don’t fight him on who’s going to wear it – that’s a battle, you’ve learned, you will always lose. 
We really need to just buy a second helmet. 
The thought makes you smile as you hold the clunky thing. Buying a second helmet. Something Eddie had never done before, because he had never had a regular passenger before. He had never had someone glued to his side as you had become, not even Nancy. It sounds terribly domestic; perusing aisles with him, debating which helmet fits your style best. He’d probably make a joke about your head being big. He’d probably tease you for looking at the ridiculously expensive ones and tell you to opt for a cheaper one. You’d probably end up with a pricier one in the cart regardless, and Eddie would probably refuse to let you pay for it. 
Domesticity. The image of it doesn’t ache like it had that night all those months ago. This isn’t something you yearn for hopelessly, smoke and mirrors that dissipate when you dare to reach out for it. It’s something finally in your grasp. Something tangible and something bound to happen, all you’d have to do is say the word and Eddie would comply eagerly. 
Anything to keep my girl safe, as he would tell you any time you pointed out how dangerous it was for him to go without a helmet. He’d gotten creative in saying his own version of those three little words. 
“M’lady,” he hums, nodding for you to put the helmet on before sweeping a hand over the empty space in the seat behind him, “Your chariot awaits.” 
You don’t have a snarky quip to throw back at him, only grinning at the ground as you flip the helmet around a few times to prepare to put it on. All those embers aren’t just desire for him – there’s a warmth there that always exists. A candle on the windowsill of the home you had finally found. 
You raise the clunky thing and tilt your head when Eddie suddenly says, “Oh, and babe?” 
Immediately, you lower it, eyes wide in curiosity, “What?” 
“That’s my shirt.” 
“What?” 
He motions to the t-shirt tucked carefully into your jeans, “That fine shirt you are currently wearing is mine.” 
You look down, and he’s right. It’s too late to go back inside to change, and you know he’s aware of this when you catch his amused smirk. He probably noticed the moment you had put it on, and had deliberately waited until it was too late for you to do anything about it to inform you. 
Bastard. 
“I-” you pinch the fabric between your fingers, looking between it and Eddie wildly for a second before your shoulders slumped in defeat, “It’s fine. I doubt they’ll even notice.” 
You were wrong. They do notice. 
Everyone is already waiting inside for the two of you, nestled around a table in the bar in a similar arrangement to the very first night you’d been introduced to the group. There’s only two empty seats left conveniently, right next to each other. You don’t miss that mischievous look of success on Robin’s face as she looks overly proud of herself.
They’d set it up so we’d sit next to each other. 
You’re grateful for your friends’ antics until you go to take the empty seat next to Steve.
“Is that Eddie’s shirt?” 
Robin is leaning around Steve eagerly as she says it, ridiculing the shirt intensely. 
“What?” you laugh nervously, looking down and tugging at the fabric. 
Lie. Make up a lie. Make it good. 
“That is Eddie’s shirt,” Nancy looks surprised across the table, looking up at the two of you questioningly. 
“What?” you repeat yourself. Eddie has already taken his seat, and is avoiding the stares of everyone, “No, it’s not.” 
“He has one just like it,” Jonathan adds fuel to the fire, “He literally wore it - what? Two days ago?” 
In a pathetic attempt of an excuse, you plop down in your seat and force an offended look, “People can own the same shirt. He’s not the gatekeeper of-” you look down, and nearly erupt in embarrassment when you see what the shirt is. “Deftones.” 
Ah, fuck. 
It’s not just the embarrassment of being on the verge of getting caught in your lie – it’s the memories that flood back. You, on Eddie’s lap. Your mouth and his becoming one. Steve calling, and you sucking so innocently on Eddie’s neck. 
Fuck. 
You really wish Steve and Robin hadn’t interrupted earlier. 
“It’s not like I got it at a show,” Eddie shrugs, and you wonder for a moment if he’s lying, “They’ve gotten more popular lately. I’ve seen their shit in Target.” 
“Exactly!” you exclaim a little too loudly, a little too quick to defend yourself, “Exactly. I just thought it looked cool at Target. Besides, tonight is about Argyle.”
You smile at the birthday boy, and he returns the joy as he waves a little at you. The reminder is all it takes for everyone’s attention to return to the focus of the night – everyone’s attention but Nancy’s. 
You can feel her eyes on you as conversation sparks up and debates of ordering shots begin. Everyone is busy asking Argyle what his plans for next weekend are – which are mostly composed of normal family gatherings, probably a homemade cake, etc. – but Nancy is watching you and Eddie like a hawk. In the peripheral of your eye, you watch the way she leans back so casually into Jonathan's around her shoulder, looking like she knows. You’re probably just being paranoid. You’re definitely just being paranoid. 
You try to ignore it, and instead let yourself just enjoy the moment. All your friends gathered, a group in which you finally feel like you belong to, jokes being made and laughter being exchanged that has you feeling a bit giddy. It’s nice. Even between the smoke of the room and the flickering lights overhead, murmuring chatter of nearby patrons mingling right in with your group’s noise, it’s homely. The smell of drunken cigars and fruity cocktails should be overwhelming, but you just let it wrap you up instead. 
And when you turn your head, inhaling deeply the smell of cinnamon and musk rather than all those other foreign anomalies, you find Eddie already looking at you. Soft eyes, bitten grin, a few loose curls framing his cheeks as his bangs curl up into his forehead. Even in the shoddy lighting, he takes your breath away. 
He’s looking at you. Just like that first night. Dozens of other people in this room at this moment, and he only has eyes for one – he only has eyes for you.
“So!” Argyle announces, “I think, my dudes, instead of doing what Birdie had so… excitedly suggested,” and oh, he was being generous and calling Robin suggesting he took twenty three shots for his twenty third birthday just her being excited rather than foolish, “We should just take the twenty three shots and split them up amongst the group.” 
Steve and Jonathan immediately groan, protesting how they’re driving, and Eddie only shakes his head with a chuckle. So far, he’d only ordered and been nursing on a plain coke, no whiskey. 
Somehow, sitting beside him with the group is worse than keeping distance. 
When he’d taken off his jacket, you’d silently begged for him to rest an arm across the back of your chair just as Jonathan was doing to Nancy. And he had, almost too naturally before he’d caught himself. It would have been easier to play off cooly, probably would have gone unnoticed, but your boy had practically jumped out of his bones as he’d flinched and tucked his arm back into himself suddenly. He’d even bumped his elbow against his own seat in his haste.
And Nancy had noticed. 
“That’s only three shots per person!” Argyle defends, “Four for me, since you know – birthday boy.” 
While Eddie may be avoiding alcohol tonight, you aren’t. Not unusual, but it had been odd when Eddie had told the waitress your order of an amaretto sour rather than you telling her yourself. 
Another strike. Another thing Nancy had noticed with her watchful eye.
“I’m down,” you shrug, “Hell, I’ll even take an extra shot if those two dumbasses won’t.” 
“Is that a good idea?” 
You wish Eddie had been drinking to excuse his idiocracy. Because all it takes is him saying that, not with malice but with concern, and the look on Nancy’s face told you she was officially catching on.
He hadn’t said it with the concern of a friend prepared to warn against drinking yourself sick. He’d said it with the concern of someone who would be taking care of you by the end of the night, of someone who would be dealing with the aftermath of that many shots. 
You two were bombing this whole secrecy, to put it lightly. 
You try to save the moment but laughing it off, turning to him slightly and teasing, “What, are you my keeper now?” 
Despite your best efforts, the statement doesn’t come across as friendly banter. It’s not quite fighting either. It’s a dare, you dangling something in Eddie’s face that no one else at this table quite sees. A stupid, idiotic continuation of your flirtatious game of cat and mouse from earlier in the apartment, when he’d deliberately gotten you hot and bothered. When he’d deliberately let you leave in his shirt. His palm is warm when he shifts ever so slightly, placing it on your thigh beneath the table. Out of sight from everyone else. Fueling and fanning all your growing flames. 
You two were toeing a very dangerous line tonight. 
His eyes darken a bit, and you pray no one else notices in the dim bar lighting, “I don’t know, am I?” 
Everyone is distracted enough with your idea. Steve and Jonathan were agreeing, saying they could take one shot and then others in the group could shoulder the extras. Robin was quick to also say she’ll take an extra one. But Nancy is silent, watching your quiet exchange with Eddie. 
“I don’t think you are, Munson.”
Except he is. Without a single doubt in your bones, you know that he is. 
Your playful smile betrays you. It tugs up the corners of your mouth and it’s clear to any outsider this wasn’t a brewing argument. The game was obvious if anyone was watching close enough. And Nancy, ever the smart one, was watching close enough. 
She’s playing her cards right, you realize, when she waits until the group has ordered the round of shots to say anything. 
“So, Eddie,” she begins, drawing the entire group’s attention to her best friend, “Do anything fun today?” 
He nearly chokes on his coke subtly. “I- Um-” 
“You just didn’t answer any of my texts today,” she continues on, “Must have been busy, yeah?” 
Eddie retracts his hand from your thigh, far more elusive in this action than he had been about removing his arm from your chair, before he fiddles with his hands in his lap. “Yeah – no, yeah. Sorry about that, Nance.” 
He pulls his phone from his pocket for no apparent reason. The shiny new smartphone, having not even bought a case or screen protector yet. You’d already yelled at him for that, claiming out of everyone, you trust him the least to not break the phone on the first day. He’d only laughed and shut you up with a kiss. 
His new phone is placed face down on the table, cherry red glinting, “I just had to go to the mall and-”
“Is that a new phone?” Argyle interrupts him, catching sight of the movement and the glinting, “Oh, holy shit, my dude! That’s a new phone! That is an iPhone if I’ve ever seen one!” 
Everyone – Robin, Steve, Jonathan – are rapidly leaning to catch sight of it as if they can’t believe it. Eddie continues to shrink at being the center of attention suddenly. 
“It is,” Steve laughs in disbelief, “Never thought I’d see the day, Munson.” 
Robin scrunches her face, “Does this mean we have to add him to the group chat?” 
You let out a giggle at that, lips pressed to try and contain some of that smile breaking through as you look at him and wiggle your brows. He immediately rolls his eyes, but picks up the phone regardless to give everyone a better look. 
“Yes, yes. I’ve finally joined the dark side,” he teases everyone just as the waitress returns with the tray of shots. Jonathan is the only one with enough sense to look away from Eddie’s spectacle, thanking her kindly, “Feast your eyes, my friends, for this is where my five hundred dollars went-” 
“Holy shit.” 
Nancy’s sudden whisper of an exclamation has everyone freezing. Eddie stops spinning and flipping the phone to show it off, staring at her with nothing but concerned, “What? What happen-” 
Nancy shares a look with Robin as they both grin.
Oh no. 
“Eddie,” Nancy says slowly, turning her head back his way slowly. 
“What?” Eddie frowns, eyes flitting back and forth between Nancy and Robin.
Robin is the one to ask the question rather than Nancy, “What exactly is your lockscreen?” 
Eddie goes pale. You’re confused, looking at the phone he’s currently cradling with the screen against his palm. 
Did he even change it? Wouldn’t it just be one of the default ones? 
“Guys,” you decide to come to his rescue, still impossibly confused, “It’s probably just some default screen, don’t tease him.” 
“That was not a default screen,” Nancy laughs out. 
Argyle looks around at everyone. Nancy and Robin, both with mischievous glints in their eyes. Eddie, still ghostly white as if he’s been caught red-handed. Steve and Jonathan, both just shrugging at each other. “Uh…. Why do I feel like I’m missing something here?”
“Show the class your lock screen, Eds.”
“Fuck off, Nancy.” 
“Oh my God,” Robin coos, leaning across Steve and pressing you back gently to catch sight of Eddie, who’s dipping his face down, “He’s blushing!” 
“Guys, leave him alone,” Steve insists, sharing a look with you now. But you have no clue what’s going on.
You have no clue what his lockscreen is. 
“Edward Munson, show us that lockscreen right now, or I’m Venmo-requesting five hundred dollars from you,” Robin continues to threaten. 
You look away from Steve and at Eddie immediately, leaning in closer to his space. He looks at you, clearly focusing on your presence more than everyone else’s, and smiles like a child trying to get out of trouble. 
“Eddie,” you say quietly, almost impossible for your friends to hear, “What the fuck is your lockscreen?” 
He slowly and carefully turns the screen towards you, making sure only your eyes can see it, and- oh.
It’s a low quality photo. Clearly taken on his flip phone. Details just a little fuzzy, and the darkness of the photo wasn’t helping. But you can see it clearly. You can make out exactly what it was that had Nancy and Robin losing their minds. 
It’s a picture of you and Eddie, with your head on Eddie’s chest.
For a moment, everyone else at the table doesn’t exist. You hadn’t been insane that night – he had taken a photo. A snapshot of the moment where everything had changed. The moment in which you had given up the fight and completely succumbed to just how much Eddie meant to you, how badly you pined for him and how deeply you liked him. 
“I was going to make it the one of you at Betty’s,” he whispers, “But, I just- I really liked this photo.” 
He’s still tense, as if he expects you to be upset with him. 
You’re the farthest thing from upset at him. 
“You made me your lockscreen?” you breathe out, a slow-growing smile beginning to stretch your lips. 
You’re not upset at him. As a matter of fact, you’re in love with him. You want to scream it from every rooftop, shout it to every stranger on the street – you are in love with Eddie Munson.
And you have been for a while. You just hadn’t found a way to tell him yet.
“Yeah,” he loosens up a little when he realizes you’re happy, enamored with the fact, “Yeah, of course I did. Who else am I going to make it besides my favorite…. Enemy?” 
He says it loud enough for everyone to hear clearly. All of Nancy’s teasing has come to a halt, Robin has settled back into her chair, and Steve is finally looking too curious for his own good. 
“As birthday boy,” Argyle breaks the moment, shatters away the bubble you and Eddie always seemed to end up in, “I am demanding I get to see this lockscreen.” 
Eddie doesn’t make any move to show the screen to any other person, only watching you for approval. 
Well, so much for next time. 
You give him a little nod. 
Eddie makes a dramatic show of it, sighing heavily before he very slowly turns his lockscreen to face everyone else. But even in his dramatics, you can see that weight lifting off his chest.
This, as a matter of fact, changes everything. 
No more hiding, no more lying. One simple flash of his phone screen, of a photo he had taken on a night that no one has even been gifted the details of yet, and all your friends suddenly know.
The reactions all vary. 
Argyle leans forward and squints before his face breaks out into pure joy for the two of you, “Oh, fuck yes! Best birthday gift ever. Pay up, my dudes!” 
Jonathan leans backward, digging out his wallet as he murmurs, “Son of a bitch.” 
Steve only smiles and shakes his head, also digging for his wallet as he seemingly chastizes himself, “I should have fucking known.” 
“Hold on,” you look between everyone as Jonathan digs out a couple twenties, “Wait, did you guys fucking bet on this?” 
“We did,” Robin answers you, holding up a hand to make Jonathan and Steve pause their retrieval of cash, “What do you take us for? Idiots? Now, gentlemen, before either of you payout, we’ve gotta ask the most important question,” she shoves a palm against Steve’s chest so that he’s out of line of sight, gaze set on you and Eddie, “When did this happen?” 
You don’t have any time to be mad at your friends. Because when Robin asks you this, suddenly you’re back to two months ago. You’re outside your dorm with Eddie, kissing him as if tomorrow would never be promised, and you’re home. 
You pulled back from Eddie finally, both of you gasping for breath as he held you steady. Your exchange from moments before still hung heavy in the air. 
You liked him, you liked him, you liked him. 
And the feeling was mutual. 
You’d already known, but it was nice to hear. It was nice to be reminded that this, what had happened between you two, was so very real. 
“I don’t wanna start over,” the words tumbled from your tongue before you could consider them, upheaving from your chest, desperate for Eddie to heard them, “I- I don’t need to start over. I like our story, okay? You had been right – it wasn’t all bad, and… and I don’t want to start over. I never want you to be a stranger again, and I know that sounds stupid-” 
“It’s not stupid,” he interrupted you, forehead meeting yours, “So very not stupid.” 
“I don’t care if you were a dick,” you continued on, carefully, “I was, too. We were both… shitty. I forgive you. I’ll forgive you a thousand times over, as long as you keep trying to make it up to me.” 
“Make it up to you?” he grinned playfully, “And just how do you suggest I start making it up to you?” 
“Ask me out,” his eyebrows raised in surprise, and you knew you must have looked like a wild idiot to everyone else, but you didn’t care, “To dinner, to a movie, to just hang around your apartment with you for another twenty four hours – I don’t care. Just… Just please, Munson, ask me out.” 
And so he had. A first date, a second date, a third. You two had gone through the entire ordeal of every cliche relationship despite the unconventional beginning. You’d gone to dinner, you’d gone to a movie, and you had done plenty of hanging out around his apartment and more. 
“The night of the bet,” Eddie answers as he finally brings an arm up around your shoulders, just as he had wanted to earlier. 
Immediately, both Robin and Argyle let out their own curses, pulling out their wallets just as Steve and Jonathan had. 
You look between them, all the annoyance you should feel just being run over with adoration for these idiots. Your eyes land on Nancy, and when you realize she’s the only one at the table not coughing up any cash, you ask her, “I’m assuming you guessed correctly?” 
“I did,” she nods, looking proud of herself. 
“How’d you know?” 
Nancy raises a threatening finger, before suddenly pointing it right in Eddie’s direction, “That idiot has always been down bad for you-”
“Okay, okay,” Eddie stops her, “I’ve already told her the nitty gritty details. No need to embarrass me.” 
“No need to embarrass you?” Nancy asks in disbelief, “Good God, just how many times did I have to sit and listen to you pine for her? No, no – I have earned this, Munson.” 
You look at Eddie, a glint in your eye, “You only told me about the first time.”
“I only remembered the first time,” he counters, blushing under yellow and faded lights, “I was usually dru-”
“Don’t lie,” Nancy stops him, “There were plenty of rants where you were dead sober.” 
Everyone only smiles at Eddie, a few teasing comments made his way, but none of them matter as you lean into his side, your shoulder bumping his to the best of your ability with his arm still around you.
“Aw, babe,” you coo, warm all over for the man beside you, “You had a crush on me? That’s cute.” 
His chin lowers, eyes boring into yours with unlimited affection. For a moment, it’s just you and Eddie. The guise of you two having your own bubble of a moment. 
His head tilts further, his ears brushing your ear as he whispers for just you to hear, “So did you, if I’m not mistaken.” 
“Not mistaken,” you whisper back. Money is now being exchanged, tossed across the table with grumbles that hold no heat. 
Yeah, you did have a crush on Eddie. You still do. You don’t think you’ll ever stop having a crush on him, even as he’s surrendered himself as yours. Especially not when his thumb is stroking your shoulder as it is now. 
Just like that very first night. The smoky bar fades to nothingness, your tunnel vision focused on Eddie. You know jokes are being made about the two of you by your friends, but it’s all white noise when he’s looking at you like this. Like you’re everything to him, like he’s just returned home after a long week. 
You’d really like to be his home to return to after every long week, for the rest of your lives, but there’ll be time to ponder on that later. For now, you two have time. 
The voice inside your head suddenly comes to life as it recognizes that this is your moment. You can tell him. Now that you’ve told everyone else, you can tell him those three words. Finally get them off your chest. Make it real. 
“Hey, Munson,” you say, still quiet enough for the words to only reach his ears. He perks up, eager to drink your next words. You have all his attention. You always have all his attention, “I-” and then you choke. He stares curiously for a few seconds, and the words just won’t come out. You want to scream – you wonder if it would work if you screeched the three words at the top of your lungs. Probably not, “I’m just really glad you didn’t really hate me,” a pathetic excuse at a coverup,  “And… I’m really glad they made that first bet.” 
He smiles so softly, it strikes you right in the center of your chest. Right amongst your garden that not only had you tended for him, but that he had also had a hand in watering these last few months. 
You should have told him. You love him, and you should have told him. 
“I’m really glad I didn’t hate you, too,” he remarks, squeezing your shoulder a little tighter, “Actually, I’m glad you don’t hate me. Not anymore, at least.” 
“I never really did.”
“You definitely sort of did. You tried to take me out with a glass, remember?” 
You burst into secluded laughter, hearing your friends beginning to pass around the shots but paying them no mind. 
Eddie can’t help it. He pulls you in close, placing an impulsive kiss to your temple and letting his lips linger there. Just pressed against you, breathing in the scent of you. 
That kiss sends shivers down your spine, warmth through the center of your bones. You love him. 
You love him, you love him, you love him. 
So why can’t you just tell him that?
“Aw!” Robin pulls the two out of your bubble, “Aren’t they just adorable?”
“Yes, yes,” Steve passes two shot glasses down to your end of the table, “Absolutely adorable. It’s nauseating. Also, I’d like to go on record – I totally knew the entire time. I was just giving them the benefit of the doubt.” 
“Playing the Devil’s advocate?” Argyle asks, lining up his multiple shots, “I dig it. Even though you’re totally lying right now.” 
“You’re so lucky it’s your birthday, dude,” Steve rolls his eyes, clearly holding back an insult. 
Eddie’s arm stays heavy on you, a welcome weight as you sit up straighter to take your own several shots. 
These were your friends. Somewhere you belonged, filled with people you loved and a boy you could come home to after all your long weeks. A certain happiness that is rare, and impossible to place, and can nearly bring you to tears overwhelms you as you grab that first shot. 
“Also-” Steve turns to you and Eddie, “I knew that was Munson’s shirt. The day he got it, all he did was brag about what a rare find it was. Fuck off with your Target bullshit.” 
Eddie’s hand leaves your shoulder long enough to reach out and thump Steve, laughter booming and vibrating against you, “Sure you did, Stevie.” 
“Target has some nice things,” Nancy offers with a shrug, now holding her own shot glass. 
The seven of you all hold up the first of what will probably be too many shots tonight, the beginning of a night that will probably be remembered through killer hangovers tomorrow and possibly even captured on camera by the likes of Jonathan, Steve, and Eddie. 
“To Argyle,” you take the lead on the cheers, jittery and anxious as all the love you continue to withhold buzzes in your chest, lifting your small glass in his direction, “The most lovable twenty three year old I know.” 
Everyone moves to drink, but Argyle immediately shakes his head, “Nah, fuck that. It’s not even my birthday yet – I demand a new toast.” 
He lifts his brows, staring you down and silently adding, you know what to do. 
And yeah, you did know what to do. 
“Fine,” you sigh dramatically, leaning further forward, Eddie’s arm following. You relish in the tense silence as everyone waits for what you’re about to say instead. Even Eddie is waiting with bated breath, watching your every move, a contrasting yet easy smile on his face, “To bets.” 
A booming applause from your group. Glasses tapping against the wooden table before shots are downed. Groans of disgust as the tequila hits everyones’ tongues. 
Eddie hardly waits before you’ve both swallowed to remove his arm and grab your face, turning your cheek so that his lips can capture yours. Everyone only cheers louder, Steve letting out an obnoxious whistle as Argyle claps. You’re surely going to get kicked out of the bar at this rate. But you really don’t care as you kiss your boy back. 
Next time. You have to tell him next time. 
The night ends in more of a whisper than a bang, surprisingly. 
Everyone has suddenly become a happy drunk, probably from all the love and good news passed around throughout the night. It’s all warm feelings and warm hugs, tequila on the breath and love on the mind. 
You don’t even get kicked out of the bar. Your waitress only smiles at your rowdy table from time to time, and you figure that all the good vibes must be rubbing off on her. 
Steve is the first to call it quits. Robin has drank enough to give herself the hiccups, and he says that after that, she almost always gets viciously nauseous. He wants to get in the car and home before she gets to the point, for the sake of his car’s interior not getting covered in puke.
It’s a domino effect from there.
Argyle quickly agrees, Jonathan offers a guiding arm to Nancy, and Eddie’s arm only tightens around you. The group closes out the tab, putting off worries of everyone paying Jonathan back until tomorrow. Quick, simple, painless. 
Until you all get outside. And goodbyes are exchanged – that’s not the part that gets to you – with promises of seeing each other throughout the week. Everyone congratulates you and Eddie one more time for good measure, Nancy and Steve looking the most proud of you two as Argyle and Robin giggle like children about it. And it’s fine – you laugh along and it’s all good. You let them get in all their I told you so’s and know it’s all in good fun. 
It’s all fine. Until you two branch off from the group, Eddie’s bike across the lot from everyone else’s cars. 
The moment you two are alone, you can’t tell if it’s the alcohol or if it’s the levity of suddenly having a moment that only belongs to you. Your mind wastes no time of reminding you of your pathetic cop out: I’m just really glad you didn’t really hate me. None of those words even sound akin to the real ones you should have said.
I love you. 
It’s not because your friends have found out. You know it’s not that, because just last week, right after your breakdown about whether you were smothering Eddie by half-living in his apartment, you’d had a breakdown because you realized you wanted to fully live in his apartment. You’d had a breakdown because you hadn’t grown tired of him yet, hadn’t satisfied the need to see his face every morning when you first wake up yet. You hadn’t gotten bored with all his lingering affectionate touches. You hadn’t gotten used to the way he’d kiss you in the middle of sentences. He was still taking your breath away, two months later, and you had a breakdown because you realized it wasn’t novelty or a pathetic crush making you feel this way.
You had a breakdown because you love Eddie. 
You love him, ardently so, and you still can’t find the right moment to say those words to him. He deserves to know – the entire foundation of this relationship was honesty.
It’s all you can think about as his hand finds yours and he’s walking up to his bike, practically dragging you up to his bike as your legs forget how to work amongst nerves. 
“So, I was thinking,” he carries on conversation so casually, “You want to spend the night at my place? I know you said you don’t have any class-“ 
Now. Not later, not next time. Now. 
“Hey, Eddie?” you interrupt him, stopping the two of you a few paces away from his bike. 
His face is impossibly concerned as he looks down at you, clearly reading the worry on your face, “What’s up, babe?” 
Here goes nothing – be brave.
“I-” 
Why is this so hard? 
It shouldn’t be this hard, because loving Eddie is easy. 
It’s easy when he’s looking at you like this, like he always does. It’s easy when he wakes up after you, and he comes into the kitchen to just wrap himself around you as you make him coffee, no matter what time of day it might be. It’s easy when he catches your eye from across the room during outings, sometimes winking once he knows you’ve found his gaze, just to see you laugh. It’s easy when he tries to distract you from homework when you’ve been spending far too many hours hunched over your laptop on his couch, coming and bugging you, laying his head on your lap and insisting his girl needs a break. It’s easy when he kisses you and everything just feels right. 
It’s easy. He loves you – you love him.  It isn’t hard. You’re making this hard, when it never was. 
“I love you,” you admit quietly, voice shaking as the words leave you easily. 
Loving Eddie is easy. 
“I love you,” you say more surely, voice raising in volume as you find the willpower to look into his eyes, “I love you so fucking much, Eddie.” 
Each time you say it, you gain confidence in it. It’s true – you love him. You love him so much, it encompasses every inch of your being. It entirely consumes you. You love him. 
His face falls slowly, mouth agape and eyes boring into yours.
You don’t wait for his response. You already have it – in the way he’s still holding your hand, in the way he holds you at the end of each night, in the way he knows both your orders at bars and coffee shops. In the way he will always put himself between you and the street when walking down the sidewalk, in the way when he roughly stops his bike at stop lights that his hand always flies back to hold onto you. In every soft touch and every expression of devotion he has offered you for not just two months, but for over a year. 
“You love me?” he softly asks, finally beginning to come back to life. 
You nod without hesitation, “I love you, Eddie.” 
Now that you’ve started saying it, you can’t stop it. And each time, it’s still heavy and sweet like honey, even as the confession comes as easy as breathing. It’s pouring from every crevice, filling up the night air around you. 
He takes you off guard with a harsh kiss. His teeth colliding with yours, his breath stealing yours, his entire being molded with yours. 
“Say it again,” he begs in a murmur as he pulls you in even closer, desperate as you break into a smile, “God, please say it again, sweetheart.” 
“I love you,” your cheeks begin to ache, the kiss no longer even to be a considered a kiss as you two are just mindlessly pressing your smiles together, “I love you, I love you, I love you,” with each repeat of the sentiment, Eddie drinks it in, “I’m so fucking in love with you, Eddie Munson. You and your stupid lockscreen and-”
“You do not think my lockscreen is stupid,” he pulls away, raising his eyebrows as his palms squish your cheeks, “I saw the way you looked at me. You were eating that shit up.” 
You bite your lip, trying to pull further away from him, but he won’t let you, “I was not-”
“You were,” he cheekily teases, eyes bright as he looks at you, “You were, and it was the best thing ever. Totally worth stealing Argyle’s spotlight.” 
“We didn’t steal Argyle’s spotlight,” you try to defend yourself. 
“We so did.”
You shake your head to the best of your abilities, face still between his hands, “We… Okay, we sort of did.”
He grins like a young boy, all his youth and all his love on show for you as he leans down, pausing right before pressing another kiss to your lips, “We definitely did. And it’s fair, because they fucking bet on us.” 
“They did,” you agree, not even feeling guilty anymore, too consumed by the love for the man right in front of you, “They tend to do that a lot, don’t they?” 
“They do.” 
He finally surges forward, lips sealing against yours one last time. It’s less messy this time, more meaningful. A bit more patient as he takes the time to fit his lips into yours, just as they should be. 
You have an audience. You’re completely oblivious until you hear the cheering from across the parking lot, snapping apart to both glance at where Argyle and Robin are jumping up and down, screaming their heads off. 
“Hell yeah, my dudes!” Argyle’s voice booms as Robin only produces incoherent coos to echo. 
Nancy, Steve, and Jonathan are all just watching silently, shaking their heads, but you can also see their grins. Almost as radiant as you felt.
Steve finally cups his hands around his mouth, sending his voice to you over Argyle’s continuing whooping, “Get a room!” 
Perfectly in sync, you and Eddie both throw up a hand with your middle fingers raised in their direction, still half tangled in each other. 
Your eyes find Nancy. She’s looking at you two with overwhelming pride, a certain satisfaction that breathes out the relief of finally. This may be a weight off not only your chest but Eddie’s as well, yet you can’t help but imagine just how she feels. How many nights she had stomached Eddie’s rambles about you leading up to this very moment. The pay off must be unimaginable. 
Finally. 
“Congrats on finally getting the girl, Munson!” she calls out, but her eyes are on you, winking. 
You see it now. Why they’re best friends. How all her best parts and Eddie’s best parts overlap and compliment one another perfectly. 
Jonathan is the final one to yell across the parking lot at you two, one arm slung around Nancy as the other moves to unlock his car, even his usually grumpy face showing signs of elation in that timid smile, “Now take your girl, home, dude. Spare the rest of us the gory details.” 
Eddie’s laugh reverberates against you physically from how he holds you, also making its way to burrow deep within your chest where all that liquid bliss belongs, as he throws his entire head back and makes you finally focus on just him again. Home. Not just his apartment, but him. You realize now that it’s simply wherever he goes. Where he leads, you’ll follow. It could be a shitty dorm room with a mattress that leaves your back aching, it could be a comforting apartment that holds you ‘hostage’ for twenty four hours straight – it doesn’t really matter. Wherever he is, home is. He’s your home; you love him, he knows you love him, and he’s your home. 
When his laughter finally fades, and he’s looking at you again, his dimples are prominent as ever through his whisper, “Just in case you’ve forgotten – I’m very much in love with you, too, sweetheart.” 
His lips meet yours for good measure. 
It’s been the longest week of your life, the longest year, but you’re finally home.
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ggrapeejuicee · 3 months
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„Just… Pretend.”
summary: in which harry convinces you to spend your summer in cape cod with his parents as his ‘girlfriend.’ but everything is just pretend, your not actually his girlfriend and you never have wanted to be his girlfriend, you’ve never seen him as more than harry styles, the singer… but by the end of the summer will that change?
tropes (so far) : fake dating
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part one
“It’s just for one weekend.” He pleaded, “Then you can go back to hating me. You never even have to talk to me again, I don’t care.”
You sigh, your head falling backwards with a groan. You did not want to do this at all, but he’d been persistently asking you for days.
“C’mon, please?”
You roll your eyes, “You’re on a date with a new girl every week, I’m sure any of them would be up for it.”
“I can’t just take anyone to my parent’s place.”
“Why not? Or how about you just tell them you’re not seeing anyone right now? They won’t care.”
“I just need you to come, alright? I’ll owe you one, I promise.”
“Why me? There’s a million other people you could take, besides I’ve already met your parents at a show, they’ll never believe we’re seeing each other.”
“And they really liked you!”
“There’ll be a ton of other people that they like too, Harry. Choose anyone else.”
“I can’t.” He sighs.
“You can.”
“I can’t.” He repeats.
You look at him with tired eyes, awaiting his explanation. You’d been over this a hundred times, you had no interest in pretending to be his girlfriend while he visited his parents over the summer.
“I already told them we’re together.” He says quietly, avoiding eye contact.
“What?” You scoff, “You’ve gotta be joking.”
“They just… They met you at the show, and they really did seem to like you, and they kept going on and on about how they want me to find someone who makes me happy and stuff and I shut them up by saying we’re together…”
“You’re unbelievable.” You say, annoyed.!
The fact he’d been telling his parents ridiculous lies without even telling you about it, when said lies actually involved you had pissed you off.
Harry’s parents were lovely, and a producer on his latest album you’d met them a couple times at shows- Especially during the LA residence where you and his parents sat through the concerts in a VIP booth. His mum was lovely, always smiling and knew every single lyric. She told you that she was in Harry’s 0.5% of top listeners on Spotify last year.
You thought that was cute.

You couldn’t relate though, 5 Seconds of Summer were your top Spotify artist- Harry could never find out about that.
“They’ve been asking for me to take you to the beach house for months-“
“Months?!” You interrupt, “How long have you been telling them we’re together?”
He shrugged, “Since the end of the Forum residency?”
“Harry that was SIX months ago!” You yell, “I can’t pretend to be in a six month relationship with you, that’s ridiculous.”
He sits down on the couch, hugging a pillow.
“Yes you can. You practically know everything about me already. We spent every day of the tour together.”
“Everything about you in a career aspect.”
“Everything in general.” Harry corrects, “Sometimes I think you know more about me than I do.”
“I don’t. You’re just saying this because you’re convincing yourself that this ridiculous idea will actually work.”
“Name my first pet.”
“What?” You question. He was being stupid. There is no way you’d ever be able to spend two weeks with his parents over the summer, it was never going to work. It was a recipe for disaster.
“C’mon. You know the answer.”
He just kept staring at you. He wasn’t giving up. The longer you stayed silent the more intense his stare got. When he began to raise his eyebrows you’d given up.
“Max.” You mutter quietly, unimpressed with this whole game he was playing.
“And what am I allergic to?”
“Marshmallows, but you eat them anyway.”
Harry was grinning, and it was pissing you off. He was winning and he knew it.
“My favourite Christmas song?”
You rolled your eyes, “Christmas lights by Coldplay, but you tell everyone that it’s Merry Christmas Everyone because it’s a classic.”
Harry was giving you a ‘I told you so’ look. He wasn’t going to quit until you agreed to pretend to be his girlfriend.
You sigh softly, “Even if I agree to this… It could he really damaging for my career.”
“No one will find out.” His face was more serious now, and you could tell from the way he was looking at you that he meant it, “I’ll make sure of that.”
“But if if does-”
“It won’t.”
“But if it does, because there’s always a chance no matter what you think, then everyone will only think I got hired to tour manage because we’re ‘sleeping together.’” You say, using air quotes, just to further elaborate that this was all fake.
Harry had already got his grammy, he was at the peak of his career he’d be fine no matter what happened. But you were a female music producer in a male dominated industry, if people think you were only hired for this album because you’re fucking the singer- your career was over.
“If people find out I’ll kill you.”
“Does this mean you’re gonna agree?”
You nod, reluctantly.
“Thank you!” He jumps out of his chair, “I swear I’ll make it up to you, thank you so much.”
— — —
If you were in Harry’s position you’d be vigilant of everything, everyone, everywhere. You’d be paranoid of someone jumping through your bedroom window while you were asleep. But Harry was oddly calm. Maybe he was just like that. His lips were formed almost in a smile while he slept, and his eyes were moving under his eyelids- probably from a dream he was having. He wasn’t calm very often- recently he’d been very on edge and anxious about everything, it was nice to see him look so peaceful. You hoped for that sort of peace someday soon.
You had been in the studio going on six hours, and when he’d taken a break from recording so you could go over the tracks he’d managed to fall asleep in that short period of time.
You let him sleep while you packed up the equipment, putting things back into their assigned places, and didn’t bother waking him up until you were 100% ready to go.
“Harry,” You said softly, shaking his shoulder lightly, “Harry we gotta go.”
His eyes opened and he blinked a few times to adjust himself to the light.
“Huh?”
“We only had the studio booked until six, we gotta go.”
“Oh,” He sat up, stretching his arms and cracking his neck that had went into a cramp, “Sorry, don’t even remember falling asleep to be honest.”
“Don’t worry about it,” You shrug, “We got enough done today anyways. You deserve a rest.”
There were only three days left until the day Harry had said you were leaving for his parents place, and you had skipped over the subject every time he’d tried to bring it up. You didn’t really want to think about it because you were dreading it so badly.
“I’ll give you a ride home.” Harry said as you left the studio building.
“No, it’s alright.” You say, “I’ll just get an Uber.”
Harry glared at you, “Y/N, just get in the car.”
You glare back. But it had been a long day so getting a free lift wasn’t so bad.
“So.” He said, starting the car. “We gotta go over some things.”
“About the album?” You play dumb.
“… No.” He rolls his eyes, “Stop pretending you don’t know what I’m talking about.”
“I’m not pretending.”
“Love, you gotta tell me some stuff about you. My parents are gonna ask me shit and I don’t have a clue what to tell them.”
You groan. You should’ve stuck to your gut and got an Uber.
“Like what.”
He shrugs, “What’s your favourite colour?”
“Purple.” You reply.
“Mines is blue.”
“I know,” You reply.
“What’s your favourite song?” He asked.
You laughed to yourself a little.
“Jet black heart,” You grin, knowing you’d get some sort of reaction out of this answer, “By 5 Seconds of Summer.”
“5 Seconds of Summer?” Harry scoffs, “They’re punks!”
You roll their eyes, “They turned to pop music and half of them are married, they’re hardly punks.”
“You know one of them dated my sister, right?” Harry groaned.
“Yep,” You grin, “And wrote a banging tune about it as well.”
“Don’t remind me.” He muttered.
“Look, you asked me a question and I gave you an honest answer. You can’t complain.”
“I know, I know.” Harry said, “You got any exes?”
You raise your eyebrows, “What?”
“This is the kind of stuff I need to know! Like I dunno if I’m your first boyfriend and all that.”
“Harry… I’m 24 years old. You’re not my first boyfriend.”
You said it almost as if he was your boyfriend. It sent a chill down your spine. This was going to be a long few weeks.
“Good to know.” He said.
He dropped you off outside your apartment.
“I guess the next time I see you will be for when we’re leaving, yeah?”
You nod. There was no studio session booked until after his vacation to Cape Cod, where his families beach house was, so he was right. The next time you see him would be at the airport.
“Flights at seven.” He says.
“Got it.”
The next few weeks were going to be hell.
part two coming soon…
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monzabee · 1 year
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you'll change your name or change your mind - cl16
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Summary: The one where you find your way back home, even if the journey takes longer than you think. 
Pairing: charles leclerc x fem!bianchi!reader 
Word Count: 5.9k
Warnings: mentions of jules and his accident, ANGST, talks about college acceptances in the US but it’s not accurate because i’ve never applied for US schools, mentions of alcohol and underage drinking/clubbing (only in the US though), mentions of a fake id, mentions of cheating, fighting, charles being stupid and not realising it, talks about processing grief, GRIEF, survivor’s guilt, talks of therapy, friends to lovers y’all. 
Request: “The Charles fanfic was so good!! Can you write more angsty but happy needing Charles? I think it’s be cute for a man who loves Monaco so much to got to wherever his girlfriend lives Ike London or nyc often and deal with that. Maybe she hates monaco lol” + “if your requests are still open, max or charles + “you have to promise you won’t fall in love with me.” thanks!”
Author’s Note: hi, hey, hello!! i decided to give into the whole angst thing and i can honestly say that i’m having a great time. i wanted to include Jules somehow in this one because i’ve been seeing some edits on tiktok and let me tell you proofreading was a bitch because i kept crying. also, my spotify kept bringing up lorde and hannah montana songs, so there you go. this was definitely a hard one to write and i know it’s messy, but all feedback is appreciated. thank you, anon, for the request, i hope you guys enjoy! good morning, noon or night wherever you are, xoxobee
Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms. 
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Monaco is full of memories. It’s filled with memories of your childhood, your parents picking up you and your siblings from school in Nice, and getting the train to Monaco for your brother to compete in karting races. It’s filled with laughter, and ice cream, and friends. It’s also filled with fears, loss and uncertainty, and you suppose that’s why you didn’t ever want to go back. But you find your back there every time, even if it is only for a couple of days at a time. Although it reminds you of the bad times, it’s hard to erase the good ones completely. 
Charles is just one of the people Jules brought into your life. He was right there since your birth – apparently, the Leclercs were visiting your family in Nice when your mother suddenly went into labour. You will always be thankful to Pascale and Hervé for stopping Jules from choosing your middle name to be Michael Schumacher. Neither Charles, nor you will forget the type of shenanigans you got up to as little kids, there is only a year difference between the two of you after all. There’s that one time you stole Charles’ kart and tried to go down the road, in which he caught you but instead of ratting you out to Lorenzo and Jules, who were supposed to be looking after you by the way, he helped you get it down the stairs and passed you his helmet as he explained how to go about it. Neither of your brothers were impressed by your ability to go fast or Charles’ sudden interest in maybe becoming a race engineer if the whole driver thing doesn’t work out. There was also the time when the two of you, along with Arthur, snuck out from a family friend’s wedding to only get lost in a city in the South of France; Charles got so stressed that he forgot how to speak French and proceeded to ask how to get back to the venue in Italian for the rest of the night. Needless to say, the two of you are there for each other no matter what; you stayed together through heartbreaks, wins, losses, losing Jules and Hervé, funerals, weddings and much more. The majority of your time together is spent in your family’s house in Nice. Charles doesn’t mind the half-hour journey, an hour if he decides to go back but he hardly ever does. Sometimes, he manages to convince you come to Monte Carlo for the day by bribing you with promises of sunsets and ice cream, but he will always drive you back if you insist you want to go home without any complain. 
The first time you bring up the topic of moving, you’re in your last year of high school; by that time, Charles is already racing in Formula One, so your time together is limited to breaks between the races. However he tries his hardest to be there for you, from talking you through breakdowns that occur after long study sessions, to looking up pre-med programmes for you to apply all over the world. You never wanted to live your entire life between Nice and Monte Carlo in the first place, so is he is more than happy to help you explore your options. Your application results arrive when he’s on break between the races, so the two of you sit on the small table in his Monaco apartment’s kitchen, the light from your laptop lighting up both of your faces as you open up the emails one by one. You’re most anxious about your application to Columbia, which is 3.462 miles away from Nice, and 3.993 from Monte Carlo. By the time you finish opening up all the emails, both of you are sitting there with a silence between you. The acceptance letter still open on your laptop is congratulating you for your offer to join Columbia’s pre-med program the following September. 
“Yes,” He looks at you expectantly, “Accept it, Y/N, you shouldn’t be even thinking about it!”
“Yes?” You let out a nervous laugh. “It’s not that simple, Charles–” 
“But it is!” He argues, a big smile on his face. You can tell he is proud of you by the look in his eyes and the way his emotions carry through his voice. “It’s your top choice of school!”
“It’s also in New York, it means that there will be an entire ocean between us!” 
He shrugs. “So?” 
“So?” Your eyes widen in surprise, you start staking your head a little without being aware that you are doing it. “Doesn’t that scare you?” 
“Chérie,” Charles coos, pulling your chair by its leg to bring you closer to him and wrap a supportive arm around your body. His chest rumbles from his low laughter as he presses kisses to your hair. “We’ll be fine, look at everything we’ve been through, and we’re not even that old.” 
You scoff, hitting his chest in an attempt to get away; you start furiously typing on your computer. “You are old,” you point to him with a tilt of your head, “I’m not, though.” 
He rolls his eyes and turns his concentration to the tab still open on your computer, “You’re going to accept the offer, though, right?” 
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You end up accepting the offer. Charles and his family is there alongside yours to send you off on a plane to New York City. Both your mother and Charles’ have tears in their eyes as they say their goodbyes, with your father giving you a similar look. Being the youngest of four siblings, it must’ve been hard to send their youngest all the way across an ocean, but they let you know that you have their support in every step of the way. With Charles’ schedule for the remaining races scattered all over the world, he tells you not to force yourself and to enjoy your first months as a college student. 
You surprise him in Austin, though. Arranging this surprise is definitely not the easiest, but you ask Lorenzo for his help and he is more than happy to make arrangements for you. It’s the end of Friday’s last practice session when you surprise him in the Alfa Romeo garage. He almost walks past you, to get rid of his helmet when you say his name, but once he realises it is you he quickly pulls in for a hug. “What are you doing here?” He asks you while laughing with glee. 
“Heard there’s an immunology seminar in town about the effects of talking a shower and then going out without drying your hair.” You answer with all the seriousness you can muster. 
“Really?” He asks in confusion, taking his helmet and balaclava off and trying to fix his sweat-soaked hair. 
You hit the back of his head lightly, shaking your head in disbelief. “No! I came here to see you race, you idiot!” 
He shakes head in understanding. “Oh, oh!” His eyes widen once again with recognition this time. 
“Yes, oh, now come on, we’re going out.” You’re quick to add, “To dinner because airplane food sucks. We’re going out clubbing after the race, though.” 
True to your word, you go clubbing after his race on Sunday, which Charles is not entertained by. He’s paranoid by the fact that you are in the club with them in the first place, which should not be happening because you’re underage. He keeps silent as you show the bouncer your id, which he knows is a fake, by the way; as he sends Lorenzo an incredulous look, his older brother’s reaction consisting off a shrug of the shoulders makes him more paranoid. 
“Y/N, you should not be drinking.” He voices his concern, as you’re on your second drink of the night. “This is wrong.” 
“How is this different than me drinking back at home?” You argue with your eyebrows raised. “You don’t tell me I can’t drink when we’re back home.” 
“Because it is legal for you to do so there!” Charles exclaims, somehow gathering the attention of some of the clubbers nearby, but he offers them an apological smile and then turns back to you with his voice lowered. “You’re not twenty one, ergo – you shouldn’t be drinking.” 
“Pfft,” You shrug him off, “You’re stupid, and I’m bored. You want to dance?” 
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You help Charles to move into his flat in Italy when he starts racing for Ferrari. Though he still lives in Monaco full-time, he rented a small place in Maranello to stay when he’s travelling. It’s an emotional event, which has both of you sitting on the floor of his new apartment going through boxes of old photographs. He finds one of his brothers and Jules with you, standing in front of a karting ring with big smiles in all of your faces. You fingers involuntarily trace over your brother, your eyes misting when you think about the day. 
“He was so young,” You whisper, having to swallow a sob which threatens to escape. 
Your eyes linger on the photograph for a while, and Charles quickly understands that you were not talking about the photograph as the tears you were trying to hold back find their way onto your cheeks. “He was.” He agrees; there aren’t enough words in the world to describe what losing a family member does to a person, and he understands you in a way most people cannot. 
You offer him a sad smile through your tears. “He would be so proud of you.” 
“He would be also so proud of you,” He whispers right back, leaning closer to you so that he could wipe away the few stray tears. “In fact, I am pretty sure he is.” 
“Stop it.” You laugh softly through your tears as you push yourself to get off the floor, and dry under your eyes with your fingers as you look across the room. “Oh my god, Charles, we have so many boxes to go through.” 
He gets up after you and looks around the dusty living room as he attempts to get rid of the dust on his clothes. “We do, don’t we?” He watches as you kneel in front of an unopened box and slice through the tape with a knife, and starting to go through the items in the box. He watches you go through the items silently for a while, noticing how seriously you take the task. His eyes linger on the frown on your face for a while, the way your eyebrows scrunch in question, or how you tuck a stubborn piece of hair, which escapes from the braid in your hair, to the back of your ear. He stalks closer, gently gripping one of your wrists and pulling you to your feet. “Dance with me.” He asks – which comes off less as an ask and more of a demand, which causes you to playfully roll your eyes at him. 
“Charles, the boxes–” You try to argue. 
His laugh is laced with mischief. “The boxes will still be there, chérie, just one dance won’t change anything.” 
You try to come with arguments in your head but all your attempts are quickly thrown out the window when you realise just how green Charles’ eyes actually are. “We don’t have any music.” You try to offer as a measly argument. 
Charles raises his eyebrows as he wraps his arms around your waist after making you wrap yours around his neck. “We don’t need any music, Y/N.” 
So you give up in any attempts in stopping him, as he starts to slowly sway both of your bodies from side to side. You let out a chuckle when he stars, terribly, humming to an old song you used to hear on the radio. “This is stupid.” You mumble as you keep up your pace with his movements. 
“You seem to keep calling me that.” Charles recalls, making both of you laugh in recognition. “I need to tell you something important.” 
“So tell me,” you encourage him, motioning him to continue. 
“I met someone.” He announces, a small smile playing on his lips. 
You breath get stuck for a moment, in which you remind yourself that Charles is waiting for your reaction – most likely a supportive one at that. “Wow, Charles.” You breath out and give him a smile, which you successfully manage to pass off as a supportive one, hoping he doesn’t notice the way your voice breaks off in the end. “I’m so happy for you.”
You’re not stupid – thinking that either of you could stay single forever is an unrealistic one. But it hurts to imagine him with another person while he looks at you like that makes a part of you crumble up into a ball on your bed and cry. And that’s just what you do when you go back to the hotel that night (because the house is still unliveable when the two of you decide you’re done for the day). You try to keep your sobs as quiet as possible because you know Charles is in the hotel room next to yours. As you’re looking out the window, watching the night sky light up with stars in Maranello that night, you tell yourself you, somehow, need to move on from your best friend. 
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The next time you see Charles is during Christmas time. You have a tradition – Lorenzo, Charles, Jules and you, a tradition, which Arthur joined once he was old enough. It’s a peculiar one. While it’s not uncommon for most families to watch Christmas movies during this time of the year, your choice of movie has not Christmas elements in it at all. Every Christmas, the four of you watch The Sound of Music. It’s a silly tradition which was born out of boredom and lack of movies one Christmas, but it’s a tradition you managed carried out every year. 
You can still remember Lorenzo complaining because “It’s three hours of songs about whiskers and bass clef.” 
While Jules gives his best friend an unamused glare, both you and Charles try to mimic the Frenchman who you idolise. “It has nuns, songs, Nazis and familial love, Lorenzo, what more could you ask for?” He shrugs as he turns his attention back on screen, “Plus, Julie Andrews is hot.” 
“Why would she be hot?” You remember asking, the woman on the screen not seeming uncomfortable by the weather. 
“No reason,” Jules assures you, wrapping one of his arms around you.“Watch the movie, shortcake.” 
And yes, while it might be stupid to watch the same movie, which has no Christmas value at all, every year on Christmas day, it’s a reminder that you have each other even if you’re not always together. So when you sit down to watch the movie that Christmas, there is a bad feeling in your stomach when you realise Charles is not there to watch it with you. If his brothers also find it weird that he’s not there they don’t make a comment, neither do you, for that matter. You try to push it to the back of your mind and enjoy the moment, telling yourself that even if this is a tradition between the four of you, it’s not the end of the world if you fail to do it. So you smile, and have fun throughout the day – when you’re watching the movie, or when you decide to hold a gingerbread house competition (Arthur wins, by the way), or when you sit down to have dinner with your families, and it makes you feel a thousand times better. 
It’s late when he comes home that night, Lorenzo and Arthur have already passed out on the couch with you trying to read the anatomy textbook on your lap in the low light. 
“Hi.” He greets you as he gives you a tight-lipped smile. 
“Hi.” You whisper back, trying not to wake up the boy sleeping next to you. “Did you have fun?” 
“Yeah, it was a good day.” He answers truthfully, and then motions the book resting on your knees. “Aren’t you going to go to sleep?”
“No, I think I’m going to stay here tonight.” 
He doesn’t argue as he presses a kiss on your temple. “Okay, good night, chérie.”
One thing about Charles, is that he is very secretive about his relationships – to the point where he won’t introduce someone to you or his family if he doesn’t think the relationship is going somewhere. So, when he brings over Charlotte for lunch the next day, there is a buzz around the house. The lunch goes well, you think. Charlotte is sweet, and the two of you talk about many things including your universities; she’s very impressed that you want to go into the medical field and you tell her that architecture must be a pain in the ass to study and she agrees with a loud laugh. 
When Pascale asks them what they did for Christmas yesterday, Charlotte leans against Charles’ arm as she answers, “Oh, nothing. We just stayed home and watched that old movie – what was it again?” 
“The Sound of Music.” Charles answers, his eyes are focused on his hands, and you know this, because your eyes don’t heave his frame until Arthur forces you to carry the dishes into the kitchen. 
“We’ll do them, maman,” he announces when Pascale attempts to tidy up the dishes, “Y/N will help me, won’t you?” 
“Yeah, sure.” You nod, the voice coming off from you not matching the sunny disposition you present to the rest of the room. 
You carry the dishes Arthur passes to you to the kitchen, holding your breath in an attempt to keep the tears at bay, and you succeed, too. At least until Arthur comes after you, carrying more dishes and places them next to the other ones near the kitchen sink. You start scrubbing them with intensity, your sniffles and the sound from water whooshing around in the sink filling the room. Arthur pulls you against him as you lean your forehead to his shoulder, or where you can on his arm due to your height-difference, as you start quietly sobbing. Arthur turns the tap on as he lets you cry into his shoulder. 
The two of you return to the dining room after the dishes are done, and continue the conversation as if nothing happened. After Charlotte announces that she should be on her way, you walk her to the door with everyone, the two of you exchanging numbers as she makes you promise to go shopping with her the next time you’re in Monaco. You agree with a chuckle and tell her only if she teaches you how to draw because your “Anatomy notes are seriously suffering.” After she gives Charles a kiss and leaves, Charles turns to you. 
“It’s just a movie.” He says in a low voice. 
“You’re allowed to have fun with your girlfriend, Charles.” You assure him and pat his shoulder for good measure. Then, you turn to Arthur, who is watching the exchange with a confused look on his face. “Want to play a round before I leave?” 
“Sure,” he agrees and the two of you move into the living room to play a round of F1 on the PlayStation. He sets it up for you as you try to get comfortable on the couch, trying to get rid of the feeling of unease as Charles watches you from the other side of the couch. “Who do you want to pick?” Arthur asks you, the cursor hovering over his choice – who is of course his brother. 
You stay quiet for a moment and answer him in a calm voice, “Give me Max.” 
Charles scoffs from the other side and pushes himself off, his arms crossed over his chest. “Rich, Y/N, just rich.” 
“What?” you ask him with faux innocence and a shrug of your shoulders. 
His voice is accusatory when he snaps, “Stop being childish for a moment.”  
“Oh, I’m being childish?” You ask him, getting off the couch as well. 
“Yes, you’re being extremely childish right now.” He agrees, nodding his head. “Glad we at least agree on that.” 
“What’s that supposed to mean?” You ask again while narrowing your eyes. 
He scoffs, “It’s just a stupid movie.” 
“I didn’t say a fucking word about the movie, Charles.” You point out, mimicking his pose as you cross your arms over your chest. In reality, it’s a short attempt at trying to hide your shaking hands. “But it’s not a stupid movie, it’s tradition.” 
“Traditions can be broken from time to time.” He argues.
“I didn’t say they couldn’t.” You shrug, trying to appear indifferent to the man in front of you. 
“Maybe if you tried to stick around for more than three days at a time, you wouldn’t be so upset about these type of things.” 
Your mouth hangs open in shock. “Excuse me?”
“Charles, maybe you should–” Arthur tries to stop his brother, but Charles waves him off. 
“Sometimes I think ‘Did I do something?’, but then I realise that maybe the problem is not me–”
Though you’re shocked by his words, you find yourself assuring him, “It’s not, it has nothing to do with you.” 
Both you and Arthur can see something snaps in him, causing him to raise his voice. “Then what is it? Tell me so I can fix it and you can stop running away!” 
You shake your head, your arms which are wrapped around you becoming tighter as an attempt to provide yourself some sort of protection. “You can’t fix it, Charles.” 
His arms become undone as his fists ball on either side of his body. “You don’t know that–”
“No you can’t!” You scream, somehow more tears flowing from your eyes. “You can’t bring Jules back because he’s dead, and you can’t fix me because I’m not a toy! You think I want to live this way? You think I want to go back every damn time I set foot in this city because I just hate it here? I can’t bear the thought of staying here because of the fact that my brother died while I was here and I didn’t get to say goodbye to him.” You point a finger towards him, your voice gradually becoming louder to match his. “He was dead by the time I got back to the hospital and they told me he couldn’t hold on any longer, how do you think that makes me feel every time I feel like I’ve overstayed in this city, huh?”
“You need to stop living in the past, Y/N.” He shakes his head. “Don’t you see you’re letting the past hold you back?” 
“‘Letting the past hold me back’ do you even hear yourself right now? I am trying my best to move on!” 
“By moving across the ocean?” He asks you, “By leaving the people you love you behind?” 
“You– you can do this!” You scream as you walk towards him and jab your finger against his chest. “You told me to take the offer, you told me to move away because you were so sure we’d be fine.” 
“Well maybe I was wrong.” He whispers, grabbing both of your wrists to stop you from poking him and curling his arms closer to his chest. 
Your eyes widen with a furious look in them, which makes him realise he sees more of Jules in them than before. “Screw you, Charles.” You struggle against his hold, hitting his chest with your fists with every word as you scream, “Screw you for trying to dictate how I process my grief, and screw you for acting so indifferent.” You win your struggle in the end, taking advantage of the fact that he is both distracted and speechless to get out of his hold and quickly grab your things. 
“Where are you going?” He asks you as you’re putting your coat on. 
“Anywhere but here.” You snap at him, refusing to meet his eyes. 
Arthur quickly comes near you with a concerned look, “You shouldn’t be driving right now, at least let me drive you.” 
You give him the warmest smile you can muster up, “I’ll be fine, ThurThur,” your eyes find Charles’ as you continue, “Don’t ever change, okay?”
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After the disastrous Christmas last year, you two didn’t talk for a whole year, even though the people around you tried their hardest to bring you to talk to each other. Even Charlotte tried to trick you into spending time, claiming that she had a work emergency just as you arrived at the lunch you two scheduled to find Charles sitting there – you quickly left without being seen and spent the day walking through the marina because “Fuck Charles if he thinks you can’t spend more than three days in Monte Carlo.” He spends Christmas with Charlotte again, but unlike this year, you don’t feel sad about his absence, choosing to call it growth when reality it’s actually packing it away to deal with it another time. 
The two of you eventually do make up, though, when you go to one of Arthur’s races to support him and run into Charles on the track. You talk between breaks, both of you succumbing and apologising to each other for the things you’ve said – him more than you, but you still apologise for the way you’ve acted afterwards. Arthur has a strange smile on his face when he finds you, releasing a relieved breath when you told him that you’re fine and you’re going to take baby steps. 
“Good,” he smiles, “maman was about to lock you onto Charles’ yacht.” 
Your therapist calls is ‘survivor’s guilt’. Yes, you have one of those now because although you want it to be false, you think a part of what Charles said might be right. She explains to you that it’s a natural response where someone has suffered a loss and you didn’t. This confuses you, though, because even if the loss in question is the death of your brother, you weren’t there to experience it with the rest of your family. Dr. Gambini is there to explain that “Although it implies experience, it doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t not feel the loss of something you didn’t get to suffer.” So, you go through the therapy experience to try to understand your own feelings, which makes you think maybe it is what you should be focusing on in the first place. It’s an overwhelming feeling, understanding things about yourself which you didn’t before – the things you used to feel slowly gain meaning as you go about it. You’re proud of yourself when you talk about it to your parents, and they tell you that they are proud of you for giving it a go. Charles joins you in one of your sessions – it’s Charlotte’s idea, actually. He tries to understand why, and how he can help you – he leaves the session feeling proud of you for taking care of yourself. 
A few months later, you get a phone call from him when you’re in the middle of the week when you are studying,  while all of your friends are away for spring break. His voice is thick with tears as he tells you that it’s over between him and Charlotte, but refuses to give you a reason when you ask why. It leaves you confused in New York, but when he asks you if you can come home for the weekend, you don’t hesitate to book a ticket for the next flight out. He’s shocked to find you standing in front of his door, but pulls you in for a hug anyway. Neither of you care about the duffel bag that hits the floor at your feet, even when you’re stumbling over it to get to him. You don’t talk, but hold each other throughout the night. He offers to cook for you, but you decide that ordering pizza is a better solution than trying to each what Charles attempts to cook. So, you end up deciding on pizza and a movie. 
You look at him confused when you realise which movie he’s selected, “It’s not Christmas, Charles.” 
He sits down on the couch, and pulls you under his arm as he reaches for the pizza box sitting on the coffee table. There’s a nostalgic smile on his face which you cannot understand. “I owe you two screenings of this movie, Y/N. Now eat your pizza and watch it.” 
So, the two of you watch the movie in silence – with silently laughing in relevant scenes and Charles even attempting to sing the Lonely Goatherd, which leaves you in tears because of how much you’re laughing. At the end of the night he walks you to the guest room in his apartment and pulls you for one last hug, whispering, “Thank you for coming,” into your hair. 
“Of course, Charles.” You whisper, turning your head and softly pressing a kiss to his shirt-covered chest. “Try to get some sleep, okay? I’ll see you in the morning. 
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He’s in the kitchen when you wake up in the morning, focusing so intently on something on his phone to notice you. You ruffle his hair as you make your way through the kitchen to make some breakfast for the two of you. “Good morning to you too, you grump.” You tell him, when you finish getting out the ingredients for the breakfast you have in mind. 
“Morning, chérie.” He answers, in a non-committal voice.  
“And to think I was going to make you pancakes.” You sigh as you halt the movement of your hands and lean against the counter. 
A playful smile is on your lips when Charles excitedly raises his head. “Pancakes?” He asks in a soft voice. 
“I was going to add chocolate chips, too, but you didn’t say good morning to me and now I don’t think I’m in mood to be honest with you.” You shrug, starting to put away the bowls you took out. 
He quickly comes behind the counter to tickle some sense in you, and you use the bowl in your hands as a shield as you start laughing. He gives up after a while, pressing a kiss to your temple and fixing some of your hair which fell out of place during the ‘fighting’. “Good morning, how can I help you?”
“Wow, you actually want to help me cook for a change?” You coo, ruffling his hair again and hitting his hip with yours to get him out of your way. “Go wait on the other side, you grumpy baby.” He complies to your directions to sit on the other side of the island, but doesn’t bother with his phone this time. You make a motion towards his phone on the island with your head as you crack the eggs into the bowl. “Is everything alright?” 
“Yeah, just some problem with the car.” He answers. “I might need to go to Maranello for a day or two. When is your flight back to New York?” 
“Oh– I can change it if you know the date–” You start to say, but he quickly cuts you off. 
“What? No, I don’t want you to go back.” He quickly says, shaking his head. “I just thought you might want to come with me rather than stay here.” 
“Oh,” You say, looking around. “It’s not a problem, I can stay and study.” 
There is a confused look on his face. “Stay? Here?” He asks over and over again. “Here? Stay? Alone?”
“Yes, Charles, I can manage to stay by myself.” You sigh. “I did it last summer for a month, you can trust me, alright?”
“You were in Monte Carlo for a month, last summer? How did I not catch you at all?” 
You let out another sigh, “In case you don’t realise, I’m very good at avoiding you.” You continue when he gives you yet another confused look as you start mixing the batter. “Charlotte told me to meet her at a restaurant but it was a set up for me to meet with you, so I got in the car and drove away. It was probably the closest we got to each other.” 
“Wow.” He looks at you with wide eyes. “Just, wow.” 
You roll your eyes and glare at him. “Stop looking at me like that. My classes are all online this semester and Dr. Gambini thinks it’s good for me to spend more time here; it’s supposed to help me get closure, or something.” 
He gives you a big smile. “I’m proud of you, Y/N.” 
“Yeah?” You ask him, his smile quickly mirroring on your own lips. 
“Yeah.” He breathes out. “And you can stay here all you want! And cook me breakfast, you know.” 
You let out a laugh this time. “I can get my own place, Charles.” 
“But then who will cook me breakfast?” He asks with a small pout. 
“You are a child, Perceval.” You laugh at the way he looks at you, with his elbows bent over the counter and his upper body leaning over the stove. “I’m only cooking you breakfast; you have to promise you won’t fall in love with me after this.” You joke. 
You turn around to look in the cupboard for the chocolate chips as you hear him mumble, “Too late.” 
You almost hit your head at the open cupboard door when you turn right back to look at him. “What?” You walk towards the island as you mumble out, “No, no, no, no, don’t say that. You just broke up with your girlfriend, Charles.”
“We broke up almost five months ago.” He announces, no hint of joking in his voice. “Right before the Abu Dhabi race.” 
“That’s not true.” You say, shaking your head. “I spoke to Charlotte; she told me everything was fine.” 
He shrugs, then offers you an explanation. “We announced it a couple of months later, but we’ve been broken up for a while.” 
“But then why did you call me a couple of days ago to tell me it was over?” You ask him, visibly confused. 
He looks guilty as he admits. “I– I don’t have a good answer for that.” He stalks over to the other side of the island again to trap you between himself and the marble in an attempt to prevent you from evading. “All I can say is that I love you.” 
“Oh, wow.” You say, suddenly you can find the right choice for words. “Say that again for me?”
“I love you, Y/N.” 
“Now in French?” 
“Je t'aime.”
“In Italian?”
“Ti amo.” He laughs this time, leaning down towards you to bring his face towards yours. “You done?” You nod your head with a giggle escaping past your lips. “This would be a perfect time to say something, you know.” 
“Oh, right.” You nod in acknowledgement. “Thank you.” 
“What?” He asks in horror. 
“Yeah, thank you. You know, for the–”
“Chérie!” He exclaims with his eyes wide. 
You continue your giggles as you place your hands on his cheeks and pull his face towards you, resting his forehead on yours. “I love you too, chez moi,” my home/place. The pancakes are long-forgotten when you pres your lips on his to give him a kiss, somewhere in the universe your twelve year-old is high-fiving with herself, but you are happy to be finally home. 
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hwangism143 · 1 month
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just for a moment
synopsis: you were just waiting for your bus when you were in the presence of chan, just for a moment
pairing: idol!chan x non-idol!gn reader
warnings: none!
word count: 400+ words
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"just for a moment, a moment in love"
You're sitting at the bus stop, waiting for your bus that still has about an half an hour to come. The sun's beating down on you (to be fair, it always does) and the heat is mildly suffocating. You scroll aimlessly on your phone when a man clears his throat, causing you to look up.
"Ahem, is this seat free?" the man asks.
"Yep," you say, nodding in the affirmative. He shoots you a small sign and sits down.
You take a moment to observe him. He's cute, you'll give him that. He's wearing a baseball cap with his curls sticking out. Along with that, his outfit consists of shorts, a black undershirt and an open plaid t-shirt. As he sits in silence, you try and solve the day's Wordle. Your own the very last line and are about to lose your shit when you feel a tap on you shoulder.
"Uh, not to be rude but, the word's 'adore'," said the guy beside you.
"Oh," you look in surprise, "Thank you."
You quickly punch it in and give him a grin when you pass the level. "Now that we're friends in the holy name of Wordle, I'm Y/N."
"Hey," he says, "I'm Chris. Nice to meet ya."
"I've never seen you here before. Are you new?"
"Nah mate," says Chris, "Came back for vacation, but I actually grew up here."
"Damn, where do you work?" you ask, suddenly curious.
"I'm based in South Korea. I make music."
"That is so cool," you say excitedly, "I'm just a boring old tech engineer."
"I mean, that's not that bad," says Chris with a laugh. His dimples are on full display and you feel your cheeks heating up. Why was he so hot? It was not fair.
"Gimme your Spotify, I'll listen to your music sometime," you offer.
"Oh uh, I actually produce for a group of people," Chris hesitates.
"Ohh, are they famous?" you ask, now even more curious.
"I would hope so," Chris smiles.
You both continue talking and you find out that you're a couple years apart in age and both older siblings. His easy smile and infectious laugh make the time fly by as if it's nothing.
"That's my ride," says Chris, waving goodbye. You wave back with a small smile of your own. Your attention goes back to your phone when another bus pulls up. Looking up, you see a Tommy Hilfiger advertisement on it.
Hold on, you think. Is that...
Holy shit. It was a picture of eight guys, one of them being Chris.
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a/n: ahh finally my first fic! i've just kept it short and fluffy (and i hc this happening while chan was on vacation lol). i would really appreciate the comments and reviews!
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purplepickles · 6 months
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“Under The Covers”
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Pairings: Central cee x black fem reader
Genre: fluff
Authors Note: it’s my first time writing on tumblr so bare with me I also haven’t haven’t written anything in like years I used to a Wattpad author in like 2017-2019😭 so imagine what I used to be writing. It’s not my best peice of work but it’s progress kinda messy icl in terms of storyline but it’s something anyways I hope everyone enjoys it 💗
You had just signed a contract with vogue for a new segment they were trying out for they’re YouTube channel called “Under the Covers”. It was in a podcast style in a bedroom setting hence the name and basically talking about the latest fashion trends tips or anything black girl related.
You were so grateful for this opportunity never in your life would you have imagine a little black girl from London was able to sign a massive deal with vogue. The topic of todays video was maintenance. How you maintain standards for yourself if that means relationship, mental or physical health. So instead of it being in their studio you wanted your video being a bit more homely so why not in your home. The producers had set everything up in your room making sure everything was ready for filming but this video was going to have a little extra twist. You were going to have your very first guest and they how they managed to maintain their life and overall humbleness with the fame he had gained over the years.
You kept your relationship on the down low on the respect of each other careers and not wanting to surround your relationship over it. You were actually calm with that but he wasn’t liking seeing people he fucked with in your dms with heart eyes.
Little did Yn know he was going to announce it in their video together.
“Okay I’m going to count down from 5 and we’ll start filming” said the producer
5
4
3
2
1
“Hi Vogue it’s me Yn/ln and welcome to our new segment called Under the covers where uncover beauty secrets fashion and every black girl related. But today’s video things are little different we’re in my actual bedroom and I have a special guest with us he’s one of my favourites rappers right now a current world wide sensation Central Cee”
“I didn’t know I was your favourite artist”
“Yes you did you’re also my most listened to artist on Spotify we’ve defo talked about this”
“Mhmmm”
You rolled your eyes and continued with the video
“Anyways let’s get straight into todays topic: maintenance. How to do maintain eye yourself to keep your life somewhat stable”
“I guess keeping my mum,my brothers, my fans and my girl happy innit. If they’re happy I’m happy” said central cee never straying away from eye contact from the love of his life
“And what you say is the hardest one to keep happy and why” Yn was very curious about this who knew where this could go
“My girl defo she’s says I’m annoying I think she hates me”
The way your head slowly snapped
“Did you not say at Amelia Dinner Date you like girls you hate you”
“Yh I did I turns me on but she’s just something Yk I’m just infatuated by her but maybe I’m a bit delusional when it comes to her yk idk if that’s a good thing or bad thing. Kinda new to this love thing and not messing up yk I don’t wanna get it wrong again I really like her”
That was probably the most beautiful thing he’s said in a while she didn’t know he felt like this she sometimes she can be a bit rude and her sarcasm can be taken the wrong way but she thought he knew between the lines that she didn’t hate him she lived more than anything.
“I think you should talk to her about your feeling more Yk. Don’t be shy on opening up more Yk. When you feel ready ask her what she thinks it’s possibly lacking” she smiled at him with reassurance hoping that he could through her eyes that’s it okay and she was listening
“Yh your right imma tell her right now!”
Yn chocked on her drink. He could not be serious. She should’ve known this boy was up to something
“As in right now!? I’m sure she’s busy” you said trying to get to him to change his mind
“Nah she’s not im calling her rn”
For someone who didn’t like interviews this but sure had a lot to say
Ring
Ring
Ring
Ring
Your phone was on the other side of the room Ringing none stop.
Everyone was looking at you. You knew the producers were loving this but you were not this was too much.
Ring
Ring
Ring
Ring
“Yn are you gonna pick up you phone”
you usually loved his smile but this was just devious.
“Do I have to” you were just dreading this
Everyone shouted yes. You rolled out bed and a grabbed the phone
“Hi baby”
“Hi cench, now can we get back to the video please”
“Yes Cench we can. You wanna cuddle too?”
//
The video was going well there was laughter within the whole room. You asked him the question that you were assigned to ask him everything was going great. You loved being under your lovers arms. Maybe letting people in wasn’t so bad.
“Thank you vogue for this absolutely-
A knock on the door you both looked at door and someone opened to little boy running in crying and jumping to Oakley’s arm. How many surprises could one video take you said to yourself in your head.
“What’s up little man” Oakley now went into full father mode his whole rapper persona was switched and all he cared about was understanding why his little boy was upset
“Had a bad dream” said the little one
“How about we say goodbye to vogue and make some hot chocolate” you said while trying to tickle him
“Right I think me and vogue has had enough surprises don’t forget to like subscribe and hit that notification and stay tuned for next weeks video about Motherhood and Careers with a icon mother and billionaire. Bye guys”
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writingoddess1125 · 7 months
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I Fell in love Alone
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Was on my sad Spotify and thought of this. First sad fic!
Enjoy Depression!!
Sad Angst
No warnings just sadness
Buggy x GN reader
Part 2
Sitting up from bed, you covered yourself with the large patchwork blanket still nude from the evening before and alone like every morning after.
For 6 months it had been this way with your Captian- the infamous Captian Buggy, at first it had started off as a drunken fling but he kept calling you back.. every night he called for you, had you sit close to him, whisper sweet words over how you were his only. This had continued for these 6 months but every day that passed you couldn't help but feel... empty?
It was like his words had become no better then a script that he followed in order for you to stay the night in his bed, like his touches were to only satisfy his need and not to savor you.
Sitting there in his large bed you look around, like for the first time you'd seen it. Had he ever spent a morning with you? Ever bothered to wake you up from your slumber?... had he ever kissed you? A hollowness began to fill your soul as the realization flooded you.
Getting up you dress quickly, not wanting to stay in the room any longer as that hollowness seemed to fill you further. Rushing out quickly you head out to go to the messhall for a meal, walking in you heard the place filled to the brim. No one bothered to question were you had come from- everyone knew.
Getting your food you sat with a random group of performers.
"Oh person of the month I see" Some of them giggle at you, they always did this- while they were too fearful to outright call you our of your name they would do this instead.
"You do know I heard (Y/N) his flavor of the month right? Is pushing six months- Gotta say longest Captian has had so theyve gotta be doing something right"
The juggler girl said with a laugh, the others at the table also agreeing. Some of the people there talking about their time with the Captian as well, you sitting quietly pushing around your breakfast as you felt a hole in your heart developing with each tale of passionate nights and sweet nothings he had said to your fellow crewmates that he did bed drunk or sober alike.
Their words felt like blades against paper skin and they just cut so deep.
After exiting the messhall you went to your post- continuing to do the large labor of your job, the pull from your muscles and sweat from your back not even facing you as the labor felt better then his gaze which you knew was following you. He always did like to watch you, Normally you turn back and smile at him savoring his validation but.. not now.. not ever again.
You hadn't stopped, not until the call for dinner had brought you out of your working daze. The need for food beating the emotional exhaustion, so you headed back to the mess hall to gather some food.
Making a plate you try to hide, seeing Buggy was there laughing loudly and drinking. You knew the moment he saw you he'd-
"Ah there you are (Y/N)! Come over here" He said with a laugh and waved you over. Reluctantly you did, knowing were he wanted you- seated right to his side so he could show you off while speaking with his underlings. Like a child showing off his shiny toy.
He laughed loudly, his hand finding its way to your hip as he held you close.. your skin crawling st the feeling as you felt more like an object then anything romantic at this point.
"So as I was saying- I'm sure (Y/N) doesn't mind- besides I'm sure they would wear a (least favorite color) leotard for the next show!" He laughed, his hands still on you as he spoke like you weren't even there. It felt like he had just stabbed you in the chest, as a burn of embrassment surgery through you. Looking up to see a few of your peers from afar looking at you, like for the first time you had seen the pity in their eyes and the second hand embrassment at the sight of you.
"Buggy... what is my favorite color?" You ask calmly, He looked at you with a raised brow laughing off the question as he thought it was a joke at first. It wasn't until he caught your eye that he realized you were serious and his lips sealed shut at the lack of answer.
"....When is my birthday?" You ask a different question, a realization of what you were doing set in and he gave a laugh placing his hand back on your hip.
"I know we're your birthmark is" He says with a laugh as the other crewmates in earshot laughed as well. You gently peel his hand from your hip and stand up, Walking out of the mess hall as you hear Buggy call after you which you ignored.
Humiliation shot through your system as the feeling of hot tears warmed your eyes... you were a fool- The biggest fool in this entire circus that you were apart of. Walking out onto the deck you grab one of the spare blankets that seemed to always be left out, wasn't like anyone really kept the place organized anyway..
Standing by the railing of the ship you wrapped the blanket around yourself tighter, looking out at the endless sea. At night like this when the moon was full it looked like you were sailing on stars.
"Hey There you are! What the hell was that about? You made me look like a fool in there!-" Buggy started, you could hear he was buzzed just by the jovial tone in his voice.
"Ha... you the fool.. hilarious" You say softly the feeling of fresh tears staring to run down your face-
"Aw don't be that way baby! Come on its no big deal anyway, let's say I make it up to you back in my cabin and we forget this night even happened"
You look back at Buggy, The large tears running down your cold cheeks. He froze, his heart clenching at the sight of you like this and he.. didn't know what to do- What to say. Had you ever cried in the times you had know him.
"Whats wrong why are yo-" You cut him off quick. Closing your eyes tightly in hopes to stop the tears.
"What is my favorite color?.. a food I like.. anything?" You whispered out, Biting your lip to keep a sob back.
"I...I what do you want me to say (Y/N)?.. I mean is it uh Is it Gray? Blue? Red? I mean you like... Me?" He managed to breath out a forced laugh, swallowing a lump in his throat as he gestured randomly around himself like you could understand how ridiculous this was for him.
"You don't love me do you?.. I really am just am your flavor of the month right?"
Buggy's face falls at your words. You take a shaky breath at this and wait for his answer, but he just stands there opening and closing his mouth unable to form words- A mix of a gentle sob and laugh finally escape you at his lack of answer.
You sniffles and wrapped the blanket tighter around yourself as if it could cover the vulnerability you felt and fear in your heart. Turning away from Buggy as you slowly walked past him, wiping the few remaining tears away.
"You know....I never thought I'd fall in love alone. Goodnight Captian..."
You say softly before heading downstairs, leaving Buggy standing on the deck of his ship alone and a pain he had never felt before in his heart.
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intotheficsofit · 19 days
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MDNI💀 +18 Only
-✨—✨—✨—✨—✨—✨—✨—✨—✨-
My Roommates Brother
Alright everyone be nice it’s my first fic.
We gotta classic trope today, the MC & Todo have an apartment together. Todo-Choso-Yuji all brothers vibe modern au style. Todo & MC were classmates/sparing buddies when they both ended up needing a place around the same time, they are platonic and goofy/very bro/sis vibe but the MC finally meets Choso and is smittttten.
Use of she/her pronouns as well as more feminine styled pet names, obvi this is a Reader X Choso smutty mess of a fic! Advanced apologies for any typos, I hope you find some enjoyment out of this piece💗
Oh and minors GTFO!! This ain’t for y’all 👏🏼
-✨-✨-✨-✨-✨-✨-✨-✨-✨-
The hot water soothed my aching muscles after an intense training sesh with Todo. I bopped around slightly to the beat of the ‘This is CORPSE’ spotify mix as I sudsed my sweat away. I thought I heard Todo’s voice from outside the door, I pulled back the shower curtain to pop my head out and keep my body shielded by the dark colored material.
“DO YOU NEED SOMETHING?”
More mumbles, the running shower and my loud music muffling whatever he was trying to tell me. I’m not particularly worried about Todo seeing me like this, he’s very open with his own body and we usually didn’t mind walking around in our undies around one another. It wasn’t a sexual thing, he’s not my type and I’m not his - to which looks suspicious to some people considering we live together but that’s not any of our concern.
“OPEN THE DOOR I CANT HEAR YOU DUMMY.”
A click and turn and Todo swung the door wide open, someone was behind him that I only recognized from photos.
“JESUS NOT ALL THE WAY?! WHAT DO YOU WANT??”
His eyes widened as he closed it only enough to have his head in the room. I saw his brother behind him hide his face before the door cut off his sight of me in the shower.
“My brother came to visit! We’re going to pick up dinner what would you like!”
I laughed and shook my head.
“That’s what you were trying to scream through the door about? God Todo, just get me whatever you get. Thanks bud.”
“OF COURSE! Enjoy your shower!”
He closed the door and I couldn’t help but laugh to myself, he was a big sweet dummy. I did love him like family, even if he wasn’t the brightest at times. My mind wandered to the blushing and hidden face that stood behind him…Todo had shown me many photos of both his brothers and Choso was super cute…he told me about how he’s kinda kept to himself and that they really only see one another when Yuji insists on it. Both of them were wrapped around the sweet pink haired boys finger, and I can’t blame them. Yuji was a good boy and always smiling, if anyone disliked him I’d be surprised.
I might have searched up Choso’s socials a bit after Todo and I moved in together…he was hanging up photos in his room and needed my help…I made sure to ask all the important questions. Choso was a drummer who smoked a fuck ton of weed and liked to watch anime, so in other words my perfect match. He wore dark red or purple eyeshadow a lot and liked to paint his nails…the Gerard Way type as I like to call it. I wasn’t too embarrassed about him seeing me after taking note of his reaction…it’d be nice to finally get to know him over dinner…test the waters a bit.
———
After getting out of the shower I half blow dried my curls so they looked somewhat neater than usual. Donning a little bit of mascara and smudging out my leftover liner, I threw on a white cropped tank top (that slightly showed my nipples and their piercings) and a pair of black leggings. I made my way down the hall towards Todo’s booming voice and the shuffling of bags.
“So what’s for dinner boys?”
I said as I toked on a blunt and approached them, a trail of smoke lining my previous path. I smiled sweetly at the two, Choso’s eyes widened and he grinned slightly as his cheeks turned pink. Todo of course gave me an ear to ear grin before explaining what he had ordered for us. I hovered over the counter and inhaled the delicious smells, humming in satisfaction. I took another hit from the blunt then held it out to Choso.
“Appetizer?”
He chuckled and took it from my fingers, after inhaling sexily through his mouth then nose he passed it back to me.
“Thanks..{Y/N} right?”
“That’s me.”
I winked at him as I inhaled deeply then passed it to Todo.
“You’re Choso right? It’s about time I met your other brother Todo.”
I playfully slapped at Todo’s arm, that was easily bigger than my head. He chuckled and passed the blunt across the counter to Choso before shoving me jokingly and making me stumble.
“You already kicked my ass earlier was that not enough you big oaf?”
A roar of a laughter erupted from Todo’s chest, he hooked his massive arm around my neck and pulled me to him lovingly like he would’ve Yuji. I clawed at his forearm, he was slightly choking me out.
“You’ve come so far in our spares, but you’ll never beat me little sis!”
I gagged slightly as I laughed.
“Out of everyone here I don’t want you to be the one choking me, let go!”
I jabbed my elbow into his toned gut as I struggled for freedom, not noticing how Choso reacted to my comment. He continued to laugh heartily and tussle my hair roughly before releasing me from his grasp. It wasn’t til then that we realized Choso choking on the weed smoke and poorly attempting to hide it.
“Are you okay baby brother?”
“D-Don’t…*cough cough*…don’t call me..*cough*..that I’m older…*cough cough*”
I grabbed a bottle of water from our fridge and came to Choso’s side to swap it out with the blunt. As he raised his head to drink the water he glanced at my concerned expression, his face was bright red from coughing so hard and tears pricked at the corners of his eyes.
“You gonna make it?”
I chuckled and rubbed his shoulder gently. He choked on the water…
“Goodness brother!”
Todo ran up behind him, I saw the fear ignite in Choso’s eyes as he knew what was coming next.
“Todo maybe don’t-“
My concerns were voiced too late, Todo smacked him on the back a couple times trying to help. Choso coughed a few more times but surprisingly, it did help him stop choking.
“God you brute..”
Choso mumbled as he regained his breath. I couldn’t help but giggle, covering my face in the process as he glared at Todo. The blunt was out and our food was getting cold at this point so we all convened in the living room to chow down. I snagged the remote before Todo could, we always argued on what to watch so the rule was whoever touched the remote first got dibs. Naturally, I turned on one of my comfort shows -One Punch Man- to which Todo groaned once I hit play on the first episode of season one.
“You told me you liked this one why are you moaning and groaning?”
“It’s always a different cartoon.”
“It’s anime.”
Choso and I barked at him in unison, to which we looked to one another and grinned as we found a common interest. (That I definitely didn’t already know about psssh)
“What’s this one about again?”
I proceeded to stuff my face and overdump the lore of the series, complaining about how more isn’t animated because the manga is so wonderfully complex. Todo then compared himself to that of Saitama with godlike strength, I didn’t deny him only to get him to continue to the next episode to see what would happen next. Choso ate quietly and watched us converse, I would glance to him now and then with a ‘you know what I’m trying to say’ or ‘you understand this more I’m sure’. He would smile and nod as he took careful bites, slowly clearing his plate. After a handful of episodes our bellies were full, Todo collected our trash and took it out, leaving Choso and I alone.
“Wanna smoke? I don’t know what he’s told you, but I smoke a lot so if it bothers you I can go to my room.”
“Oh no it’s fine, I do too..”
His voice was deep, slightly raspy. It made me feel the butterflies fighting in my stomach as he spoke. I smiled, standing from the couch I watched the way his eyes trailed down my body.
“Cool, I’ll go roll up real quick then. Obviously make yourself at home, you know where the bathroom is already.”
I giggled as I spoke to him, turning on my heels to head to my room and retrieve the smokeables. I heard Todo reenter our home and have a much more quiet conversation with his brother. I tried to peer down the hall to hear them but was unsuccessful. I threw on a cropped sweatshirt jacket and lit the blunt between my lips. As I tip toed down the hall, still trying to listen to their hushed conversation, the floorboards played against me as I neared the entrance of the room. The creaking made the two men dart their attention backwards towards me, I strolled in casually and tossed a blunt in front of Choso and a joint in front of Todo.
“Talking shit about me while I’m rolling up for you two?”
Choso nervously shook his head no while Todo laughed.
“Yes little sis, I was telling him how much you stink after training.”
“Oh I won’t deny that, but it’s still not as bad as when you get back from sparing with Yuji.”
I chuckled back at him as I tossed him a lighter. I nodded to the back door, that lead to our small balcony patio, while toking heavily. Todo nodded and rose from his seat, motioning his brother to follow us. The back door would stick shut now and then from one time when Todo ran into it and fucked up the frame, so I always had to have him open it, I was not strong enough.
Upon Todo yanking the door open, his arm swung backwards aggressively and caused me to stumble…directly into Choso. His arms wrapped around my waist and torso as I fell, his fingers accidentally brushing over my chest. For a split second I felt a tinge of fire inside me.
“Shit..are you okay?”
“Yeah, sorry for almost taking you out with me.”
“It wasn’t your fault, dumbass doesn’t know his own strength.”
We chuckled as I stumbled to my feet, Choso grabbed the dropped blunt and held it out to me with a smile. Todo hadn’t even realized what he’d done, proceeding to walk out onto our balcony and take a seat in his chair.
“You have got to be more aware of your surroundings dude.”
I spoke as I walked out and leaned against the railing to face him. He was puffing away on his tiny joint and already had some J-pop video pulled up on his phone. I scoffed and shook my head, turning to face the city and toke. Shit it went out. I went to turn around but Choso’s shoulder met mine as I spoke.
“Who has the-“
He was already holding the lighter out and wearing a beautiful smile.
“Oh, thanks ChoCho.”
“ChoCho?”
He giggled as he inhaled on his blunt, leaning over the railing beside me.
“I don’t know it just came out, that okay?”
“Yeah, thats fine. Sounds like something Yuji would say.”
He shook his head as his grin widened, I tried not to stare too long but he was very…pretty up close like this.
“He’s a sweetie, I love that kid.”
“You’ve met him?”
“He comes over a couple times a week, I school him in smash bros every time.”
He covered that gorgeous smile, laughing and turning over his shoulder to Todo before looking at me. His big brown eyes were shining with flecks of gold in the sunsets glow.
“Thanks for taking care of them..it’s not an easy task.”
“I think they’re good for me,”
I sighed, feeling the haziness settling in my eyes from the weed…maybe also from staring at the pretty emo boy.
“They remind me to not take shit so seriously all the time.”
We stared for a little too long in a sweet silence, I couldn’t help but take in all his features…I found my gaze darting to his lips and back to his eyes. He grinned, doing the same in response. Should I be doing this? That definitely ran through my head for a moment, but once he bit down on his bottom lip and looked out over the city again I felt myself pooling.
I reconnected my gaze to the horizon and puffed some more, my mind wandered to darker places..
“So what’s your favorite anime?”
“That’s a loaded question.”
I giggled, nodding in agreement.
“I’ve got time if you do.”
Spoken softly with a high smile, I peered to him from the corner of my eye. The blunt hung from his lips as he grinned, flashing me a similar look. We ended up getting into deep conversation about all our favorites and why they’re good in their own ways, all of which Todo was annoyed at. Mainly because he wanted us to play video games but we simply weren’t done discussing.
The sun had set, the chill of the night air began to nip at my skin sharply. I wasn’t sure when Todo had gone inside, but apparently we had been talking for a while. Thank god he left the door cracked at least, we trailed inside to escape the cold and to no surprise at all, Todo was passed out on the couch with some girly music mix playing semi-loudly on the tv. He could never hold his smoke, which is why I would usually give him a joint or a bowl instead of blunt or a dab. He must’ve been extra exhausted today.
We giggled at the sight, I pulled out my phone and snapped a quick picture, motioning a finger to my lips and a ‘shhh’ to Choso. He covered his mouth to muffle his laughter, I nodded my head for him to follow me down the hall. I led him to my room and closed the door behind us, finally letting out an audible laugh as I tossed my jacket onto my desk chair.
“I didn’t think he even smoked, I was surprised to see him with his own.”
“That is why he doesn’t often, he always passes out. I give him small stuff or a hit or two now and then when he’s in the mood for it.”
“Funny, that’s the first time I’ve ever smoked with him.”
“Have you not smoked with Yuji?”
“Yuji smokes?!”
“Oops.”
I covered my mouth as I stood with wide eyes.
“I wasn’t supposed to tell you that I guess.”
“I don’t care that he smokes, but I thought he’d at least come to me for it.”
“He brings his own over here and asks me to roll for him.”
“That little shit is stealing my weed.”
I erupted in laughter upon his realization, he shook his head and chuckled. I plopped down on my bed, the plush purple comforter poofing up slightly around me. I pat the spot next to be before reaching for the rolling tray and mason jar of weed on my nightstand. He gently took the seat beside me, our thighs a few inches apart, I got a whiff of his cologne when the blanket poofed around him. He smelled so fucking good…
He watched me quickly roll four more blunts and pass him one, dusting off my hands and putting the supplies back in their spot. He looked to me with a shocked expression.
“What?”
“You’re really good at that.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time a man’s told me that.”
I chuckled as I lit my blunt and passed him the lighter, once the smoke cleared I noticed the pink staining his cheeks.
“Should I be worried about your boyfriend walking in or something?”
He held the flame up, the warm glow illuminating his chiseled features.
“If I had one maybe. Kinda impossible when they find out I live with that muscle head.”
“Why’s that?”
“No one believes we aren’t fucking. Been that way since school.”
“And…you two haven’t?..ever?”
“God no, did he say otherwise?”
He shook his head profusely, worried he’d made an accusation that could get Todo in trouble.
“No, no. He told me you were pretty kept to yourself aside from training with him.”
“He say anything else?”
I leaned closer, peering into his doe eyes to question him further. He sucked in the smoke sharply as his eyes bounced from my chest to my face.
“Um, not that comes to my head..nothing bad..”
He stuttered as I studied him, my lashes fluttering at him innocently.
“What did you ask him about me?”
I grinned, reading him like an open book. His face turned red as he inhaled, coughing slightly as he released the smoke cloud.
“Just, who you are..stuff you like..”
“But you did ask him about me?”
I giggled, he looked nervous.
“Yeah..that okay?”
“Only if it’s okay that I asked about you too, a long time ago though.”
His anxiety eased and expression softened back into a half smile. He nodded his yes as he toked.
“How long ago?”
“When we moved in, I saw a few pictures of the three of you and I don’t know…you piqued my interest.”
“Any reason why?”
Fuck, alright. If living with Todo has given me anything it was confidence so let’s see where this goes, be smooth. I inhaled slowly before putting out the blunt. Leaning back against my headboard, I stretched my legs over Choso’s lap. As I exhaled I grinned and tapped my chin in thought.
“Hmmmm….dark hair, bedroom eyes, nice chains..I’m a sucker for a musician. Really if you just looked in the mirror it explains my type pretty well.”
He was looking down as his hand on my knee and smiling, smoke trailing from his lips. I swayed my knee side to side to pull his attention to my gaze.
“What about you?…What’s your type?”
His eyes connected with mine, he smiled and leaned over my body to put his blunt in the ashtray on the nightstand. His body hovering over mine he brought his face an inch away from my lips.
“Seems like you already know..”
His voice was low and hushed, my heart was racing.
“Can I be honest?”
I barely spoke above a whisper, his eyes trailed slowly along my features as he nodded.
“I want you.”
“Good.”
He cut off his own hushed tone by pressing his lips to mine sensually. He bit at my bottom lip lightly as his tongue found its way to my own, the fire inside me building rapidly. I pulled at his shirt, trying to bring him closer. He took the hint and placed himself between my legs, pushing them to the side with his knee as he leaned into me. He was muscular, but not overdone like his brother. A strong arm hooked under my waist brought my hips to his, his other hand quickly latched onto my throat as we feverishly nipped and kissed at one another. As he squeezed his fingers around my throat and the cold metal of his rings stung my flesh, a small moan escaped my lips.
He released my lips and chuckled, the pieces of his hair not tied back framing his face seductively.
“So you weren’t kidding about that?”
He squeezed tighter and watched my eyes roll back and my mouth fall open, he hooked a finger in my mouth and pulled my gaze to his, still tightly gripping my jaw and chin; his hands were massive. I whimpered at his dominant motions, his eyes piercing into my darkest desires.
“You think we’ll get in trouble for this?”
His husky tone paced with heavy breaths make me desperate for everything he was willing to give me.
“S’worth it if we do.”
He smiled devilishly and plunged his finger further into my mouth, I obediently sucked and swirled my tongue around it as he pulled it out slowly. He groaned at my actions, I felt him begin to rut against me as he kissed and nipped along my neck and down my chest. He made heavenly sounds in between light licks that trailed to my breasts. He lightly tugged at the already low neckline of my shirt, he watched my plush chest spring from the tight top, admiring the jewelry that adorned pretty pink buds. His tongue teased at them as his fingers pinched lightly at my flesh, I tangled my fingers into his hair and pulled him closer, attempting to hush my moans.
“..so pretty baby…”
His low and seductive voice hummed against my skin, sending cold chills through my body. His hands and lips continued to travel further down, he reached the waistband of my leggings and bit down on my hip, sucking and licking in a feverish attempt to leave a mark. He leaned back to review his work, satisfied and smirking at the purple mark he’d left behind. He chuckled and kissed it once more, mumbling under his breath.
“..mine now..”
He peered up to me as he hooked his fingers into my waistband, I lifted my hips for him to shimmy them down, leaving me in a pair of purple silk panties. I leaned up to grab at his shirt and yank it over his broad shoulders, feeling a little too exposed and alone. I took my top off the rest of the way after and pulled his face to mine once more, kissing him in a heated need. I pushed him backwards and fumbled with his belt, our hands both rushed to remove his pants as I realized he wasn’t wearing any underwear. His thick cock slapped up against his toned abdomen, the noise caught my attention as I pulled away from his lips. My eyes grew wide, I felt my face run hot and the pool between my legs increase. He chuckled and flipped his hair away from his face.
“Fuck…”
“You still want to?..I can eat you out if it’s too much…”
I connected my gaze with his, concern lacing his expression. I couldn’t help but smile bashfully and crawl into his lap, attacking his neck with sloppy kisses and bites.
“I need you Choso..”
I whispered as I nipped at his earlobe and rolled my hips against him. He groaned as his hands met my ass, squeezing and pushing me into him more, feeling the wetness that had already soaked my silk panties. His head rested in the crook of my neck as his voice vibrated against my skin.
“..fuck baby…mmm..need you so fucking bad…been teasing me since I got here..”
I giggled as his words, leaning back to peer down at him in all his glory.
“I knew you liked it..”
I rolled my hips against his pulsating member, precum soaking into the fabric of my panties. He groaned and bit his lip, eyeing me up and down as his hands roamed my body.
“Course I did..you’re fucking hot..can’t believe he gets to be the one to see you all the time…”
“Come visit more..”
Oh god, was I even sure what I meant by that? I definitely just confirmed that this wouldn’t be a one time thing..
“Yeah?..might have to..”
His lips attached to my chest again, fingers trailing down between us to my sopping core. I whimpered as he dipped below the thin fabric and plunged two fingers inside me, twirling them around my fluttering walls. I bit down on my lip and furrowed my brows, trying not to make much noise but he worked small moans and whines out of me rapidly.
“..so wet for me already…fuck…such a good girl f’me..”
“..Choso-O-o…ahh…please…”
“..please what baby?..”
I could hear the smirk in his voice as he fueled the fire in my core.
“..please fuck me..god I need you inside me…please…”
“..cum for me first pretty..wanna see you come undone…”
His thumb rubbed against my clit, shooting waves of pleasure through my veins. I rutted into his hand and whimpered as he bit down on my chest, his other hand attached to my throat and squeezed tightly. I clenched around his fingers as he pumped in and out of me, I couldn’t keep ahold of the knot inside me any longer. My eyes rolled back as my hips shook, I squirted into his lap and hand as his motions kept pace to ride me through my high.
“..god yes baby…that’s it keep going..fuck that’s hot..”
I began to whimper and whine at the overstimulation, he milked my juices from me aggressively causing another orgasm to take over my senses.
“..shit I need to be inside you..”
He tossed me backwards onto the mattress, propping one of my legs up on his shoulder and aligning himself at my entrance. He held my other thigh out, displaying my soaking cunt for his view. He licked his lips and rubbed his long, thick cock up and down my dripping folds collecting my wetness. He slapped my clit with the tip of his member, I squirmed and squeaked in pleasure to his delight.
“You ready pretty baby?”
God he sounded so fucking sexy, his voice raspy and lust drunk.
“Yes..please Choso..”
He smirked and began pushing himself into me, steadying himself with a hand gripping my thigh. I felt him stretching me, the pain mixing with pleasure made my eyes gloss over. I gasped and tried to grip at the sheets at the overwhelming sensation. He pressed a hand to my lower stomach, feeling himself bottom out inside of me as I panted and whimpered. He held himself there, throwing his head back and letting me engulf his throbbing member.
“..fuck you’re so tight…”
He slowly began moving, pushing in and out slowly as I clenched around him. Moans spilled from my mouth as his pace increased. He rhythmically thrusted into me, hair falling into his face as his mouth hung agape panting for air. Whimpers and low moans began to drip from his kiss swollen lips as he mumbled dirty praises.
“..oh my god baby…feels so fucking good..mmm…taking me so well..nnggh..”
“..cho-ooss-ssoo…mmmmm…”
I stuttered through his thrusts, his pace increasing rapidly as he chased his high.
“..you’re so fucking pretty…letting me stretch you out like this…mmmm…such a perfect little pussy..”
I have never been fucked like this..he was so vocal and showering me in filthy praise..all while pounding into my sweet spot so perfectly…everything about him was making me writhe in pleasure.
A hand attached to my throat while the other bruised perfect fingertips into my thigh, he was filling me up relentlessly. His grip was much rougher this time, the metal of his rings scraping against my skin as he choked me harder, I felt myself clenching around him tightly; my end nearing.
“..you love that don’t you baby?…I can feel how close you’re getting for me..”
“…s-so b-big..unngg…ch-chos…yes…yes…”
“..awe you’re taking me s’good pretty baby..c’mon you can handle a little more..we’re just getting started..”
He pumped into me furiously, my senses were fucked as my eyes rolled into the back of my head and I screamed in pleasure. His large hand quickly covered my mouth, he leaned down, my thigh now squished against my chest giving him a deeper angle as his pace slowed.
“..shhh..don’t wanna get us caught do you baby?…want me to fill you up right?”
I nodded profusely, he removed his hand and gripped my jaw tightly, an evil smile plastered across his face. Holy fuck he’s so hot…
“..I’ll make you scream my name next time I promise…bite..”
He placed his thumb in my mouth as he spoke, I gazed at him with a fucked out expression and did as he said. He had me in the palm of his hand, melted and ready to bend to his will. His paced steadily increased at the new angle, I wasn’t able to form words as my body quaked beneath him, another orgasm gushing from me. His darkness took over as he relentlessly pounded into me, my legs shook as I bit down harshly on his thumb, we were being drenched and I couldn’t stop even if I wanted to. His own whimpers and moans became louder and strained as he spoke.
“…oh fuck…yeah baby just like that…ugnnh…fuck fuck…s’fucking wet…all f’me…hmmm…”
His arms wrapped around me, his chains dragging and bouncing across my chest as he rutted into me, face buried in my neck peppering sloppy kisses and rough bites.
“..pretty girl…mmm….gonna make you mine baby…”
I clenched around him, my legs going numb at the overstimulation.
“…fuck that feels so good…cum on my cock again baby girl…mmmm…make a mess for me…”
He pulled my hands up, pinning them to the pillows with one hand while the other trailed between us and rubbed skilled circles on my clit. I gasped and whimpered at his touch, my body shaking again. I could feel him throbbing inside of me as his thrusts became rushed and sloppy, I clenched around his pulsating cock, cumming for the fourth time.
“..mmmmm that’s my girl…”
He moaned as his brows furrowed and his breaths became sharp, soft whimpers escaping his lips.
“..Ch-chosoo…feels s’good..ah!..”
“..oh god baby I’m..fuck fuck….ohhhh!”
His steady pace became staggered as he pumped thick hot ropes along my walls, he whined and moaned as his hips twitched against me riding out his high. He slowed and collapsed on top of me, both of us sweaty and covered in cum. His strong arms wrapped around my petite form and held me tight as his placed gentle kisses along my chest trying to catch his breath.
“So…can I visit again soon..”
I giggled at his innocent mumblings, sounding much softer and bashful compared to a few moments ago. He peered up to meet my gaze questioningly.
“I wouldn’t mind, how long you give it before he finds out?”
“Surely a while, he’s not that smart. Long as you stay quiet.”
I pulled his grin to mine, tangling our lips together once more softly. He hummed into the kiss, his hand coming to cup my cheek and deepen the sensual moment.
“You make it hard to stay quiet.”
He chuckled and thrusted into me once more, causing me to moan, before pulling out of me completely. We both gasped and whined at the lack of sensation, taking careful breaths to regain our senses.
He rose to his knees, placing my thighs on either side of him as he began massaging my tender muscles and taking full view of the mess he’d made of me. He smirked and bit at his bottom lip.
“You’re so beautiful baby…”
I blushed at his sweet actions and gentle tone, he had flipped a switch quickly and the butterflies swarmed once more within me.
Once we were cleaned up, (as much as we could without a shower) we clothed ourselves and ripped the soaked comforter off my bed to toss in the wash later. He leaned back on the bed, I lit a blunt and crawled on top of him, placing it between his lips. He lifted the bottom of my baggy t shirt and toyed lazily with the waistband of my fresh panties as he inhaled and stared back at me.
“What are you thinking about?”
He slightly furrowed his brows at my love struck expression as he passed the blunt back to me.
“How pretty you are..how big your cock is…”
I giggled and toked away, thick clouds rising from my lips. He smiled and lightly smacked my ass.
“S’all yours babygirl, whenever you want me.”
“Whenever I want?”
“Anything for my pretty girl, whenever she wants.”
I put the blunt between his lips and peppered kisses down his neck, we both would have some marks to cover up this week..
“I like the way that sounds…”
“Good.”
———
We smoked the other two blunts and talked before realizing how late it had gotten…I offered for him to stay and sneak out to the couch, forgetting that Todo had fallen asleep there. Around 5am when our eyes got heavy, we exchanged a few last kisses and sweet words before tiptoeing out to the living room. As we came out the hallway entrance, the goddamned floorboards creaked again. A dim light was on in the kitchen, barely illuminating the towering form we both knew well. *flick* The overhead light came on, our heads snapped to the side in unison…caught. Todo was in his workout gear stirring a cup of tea and staring at us, an eyebrow raised and smirk growing. I sighed and dropped my shoulders, covering my face in embarrassment and bracing myself. Todo chuckled lightly before sipping his tea, letting us be tortured by this awkward silence for a few more moments..
“Go to bed. We have training in a few hours.”
I looked to Choso, sad I couldn’t kiss him one last time. He peered back to me with a similar expression, he lightly touched my hand as he turned towards the front door and took a step.
“Both of you.”
“What?”
Choso stopped and looked to me then his brother, confused.
“You should stay brother, it’s dangerous to drive after staying up so late.”
Todo sipped his tea casually, peering into us innocently. I couldn’t help but let a smile creep in, I extended my hand out to Choso. He looked a bit scared to take it, but did it anyways, cautiously eyeing down his brother.
“Thanks Todo..”
I mumbled as I began to pull Choso back down the hall.
“Keep it down…and use protection!”
Choso and I giggled and scoffed as Todo’s voice echoed down the hall.
-✨—✨—✨—✨—✨—✨—✨—✨—✨-
Okie dokie, hope y’all enjoyed😉❤️‍🔥
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onigiriico · 9 months
Text
Kazui audio drama (t2) - English TL
[ links: Spotify / Youtube ]
I cannot believe my hs philosophy class came in handy as I was translating this. Thanks Milgram your references never fail to astound me
Aaanyways you know how it is,, feel free to send an ask or hit me up on Twitter if you’ve got any questions or other feedback re: this translation etc 💪 (<- sincerely hoping that Twitter DMs still work these days)
⬇️ translation under the cut ⬇️
(door opens)
E: I’ve kept you waiting, Kazui.
K: It’s been a while, Warden-kun.
E: Yeah… It has been.
K: Things have gotten pretty tough inside the prison, but… well, you’ve probably heard all about that from the others already, haven’t you?
E: Yeah… I heard that you protected other prisoners from Kotoko. I owe you my thanks.
K: That much is only natural. However… she really is strong, isn’t she? I mean, I’ve experienced some fights myself, but [going up against] a woman like her was a first.
E: Hm… Is she strong enough that even you can’t stop her from doing harm?
K: Well, in cases like this, it’s generally the heavier person who ends up winning. After all, if she really does have proper killing intent, I can’t afford to let her injure anyone. It’s difficult, isn’t it.
E: Is that so…
K: I was afraid that it’d come to this from the very beginning. There’s a lot of young kids here, too. It’d be hard for anyone to keep a decent mentality in a situation like this.
E: …You’re pretty rational.
K: I wonder. Maybe it’s because I’m used to violence. Even so… I couldn’t make it for Shiina-chan. I feel responsible for [what happened to] her.
E: …
K: Well, rest assured, though. As long as I can move, I’ll be protecting [the others]. After all, it’s pretty much just me who can fight her on equal terms.
E: Mikoto, too.
K: Ah… yeah. Like back when he went out of control, right? I can’t quite read him, though… If both of them were to attack us, it’s possible that we’d suffer a total defeat. 
E: A total defeat…?
K: If that happens, this prison game would probably come to an end as well. All of that depends on your judgment, right, Warden-kun? Who will be forgiven by you and who won’t be…
E: What are you trying to say?
K: If at all possible, I would like you to choose a method that will not get any more people hurt. That’s what I’m saying.
E: So you’re telling me to forgive you?
K: (laughs) Oi, oi…! Don’t look at me like that.
E: I’m the Warden. If I forgive you, I forgive you. If I don’t, I don’t. There’s no other factors to it.
K: (sighs) Wouldn’t it be okay? I mean, this situation with prisoners being hurt wasn’t what you wanted either, was it?
E: …
K: Just pretend that you’re looking at our sins, and make your judgment with the protection of the prisoners in mind. After all, nobody can read your mind – so that much craftiness would be fine, don’t you think?
E: Hmph. That’s a very “you” kind of pretentious solution.
K: It’s the most natural conclusion, isn’t it? Do you think it’s a sin to lie in order to protect people?
E: That would be Kant.
K: Kant?
E: A philosopher who stated that lying is inherently a sin, no matter the circumstances.
K: Huh…
E: Apparently, even if your friend is being chased by a murderer and the murderer asks you about their whereabouts, you shouldn’t lie, according to Kant.
K: That’s ridiculous. If you can save someone by telling a lie, that’s what you should do.
E: However… You killed someone with your lies, didn’t you?
K: … Ah… You forgave me, didn’t you? Aren’t you being especially strict towards me?
E: Am I?
K: Mmh, it’s obvious. You said you would figure out my murder by watching the footage of my mind. Is this the result of that?
E: You were unfaithful, right? That’s stupid.
K: Hmm…
E: The reason I forgave you was because I was lacking details. I still don’t understand your true feelings or how things got to that point, either.
K: I see.
E: It was extremely hard to understand. Even with all of that poetry, though, your self-absorbed nature was more than obvious.
K: Ohh my… That’s quite the sweeping generalization, even though you forgave me.
E: It’s a personal dislike of mine. People who act based on their sexual urges like that, that is.
K: It’s personal?
E: Yeah. That’s right.
K: That’s strange. I did think that, despite being neutral as a Warden, you had some things you dislike, but…
E: …
K: Isn’t it unusual to openly reveal a personal dislike as a personal dislike?
E: You’re splitting hairs.
K: Seems like you really disliked my crime… I get it! Maybe it was because you’re so young, which is to say… …
E: Hah? Stop staring at me so openly. It’s disgusting.
K: …
E: …! (punches him)
(clattering)
E: (sighs) Now I feel better.
K: — Ow…! What are you doing all of a sudden…?!
E: It was an instinctive reaction. Don’t take it personally.
K: Would you stop just punching me in the face without hesitation? … (sighs) Anyways… that’s how it is, huh? That’s how it is…?
E: Hah?
K: I didn’t even consider this a possibility… Personal impressions sure can be scary.
E: If you say any more things than this that I don’t get, I’m hitting you again.
K: Geez, cut out the hysterics… Hmm, if it’s like this, that explains some things, though. I don’t have kids, but I’ve heard that this is what it’s like.
E: Hey. Stop blabbering on while looking like you know it all. It’s obnoxious.
K: Hahaha! But you know what? You’re wrong.
E: …? What are you talking about?
K: You’re wrong.
E: …
K: You said I was unfaithful – in other words, that I cheated or committed adultery of some kind.
E: Yeah. That’s what I deduced from your footage.
K: It’s not true. It didn’t even turn into infidelity. It didn’t turn into anything like that. For me… In my case, you see.
E: … You’re married… You’re a married man, aren’t you?
K: Hm? Yeah, that’s right. Oh, right, I never told you, did I?
E: You’ve taken off your ring.
K: … Right… I did take it off, huh. Right…
E: Yeah.
K: Mh. … I do carry it with me, though. See? – I was forgiven. My feelings were validated. So… maybe that means that I don’t have to do this anymore? Thanks to that, I was feeling better when the second trial started… I really do feel sorry about that. Towards my wife.
E: If that ring is a symbol of punishment to you… There really is nothing that could possibly be more cruel towards her.
K: Mmh.
E: Marriage is something that both partners want equally, isn’t it? It’s something you can’t do if only one person wants it. Deciding to treat it as a punishment all on your own… You’re making a mockery out of it.
K: I really am. Ah… She must have thought so as well. My wife, that is.
E: I’ve said this before: You’re a liar. Those lies have killed a person.
K: (sighs)
E: I forgave you. While I wasn’t sure yet, I thought that it didn’t seem like you killed her directly, and with all sorts of things taken into consideration, I judged that your murder was not a sin. However. That doesn’t mean that I’m praising your nature as a liar.
K: Yeah. I believe you’re right about that.
E: In short – between love and hate, [I would say] I hate you. Remember that.
K: … I get that.
E: Huh?
K: I despise myself for lying, too. Being a liar, you see – it’s painful.
E: Heh. Then just–
K: So I’ve tried to change! I’ve tried to change. I have tried to stop lying to myself and others!
E: …
K: I’ve confided in others. I’ve tried to be myself! I’ve tried to just be the way I was born!
E: …Hey, Kazui–
K: It’s not my lies that killed her. She’s dead because I stopped lying to her! If I had just kept lying- She wouldn’t have died…!
E: Kazui…
K: I can’t live unless I lie. That’s how I was born… I’m pathetic, aren’t I?
E: (sighs) I really can’t seem to understand you.
K: …
E: Just when I thought you weren’t letting out any of your true feelings and cleverly hiding your actual emotions… Now here you are, drowning in self-loathing like this.
K: (weak laugh) An old man in unstable condition… that’s not something you’d wanna see, is it. Sorry about that.
E: You know, about Kant…
K: Ah, the one who said you shouldn’t lie even if your friend might get killed.
E: From his point of view, if your friend dies because you didn’t lie, there’s no causal connection between the two… or so I’ve heard.
K: I don’t think so, though…
E: Even if you don’t lie, your friend might survive. And if you do lie, your friend might end up dying on a different occasion. That’s the reason why you’re supposed to always tell the truth.
K: …That’s convincing.
E: It’s not really.
K: Yeah, it’s not.
E: It may not be, but… I thought that for someone who has failed in their attempts to be honest, it might be a [saving] grace so they won’t end up doubting honesty in its entirety.
K: …
E: I still don’t know what happened, but… isn’t it okay to be proud that you made an effort to be honest in the first place?
K: … You’re so kind all of a sudden.
E: I just said what I was thinking. And besides – I forgave you. I made it as if your sin wasn’t a sin at all. And yet, you don’t seem the slightest bit relieved.
K: I know right.
E: Everyone else seems more or less liberated by the fact that they were forgiven.
K: That’s right.
E: Just from that… I understand that having your feelings approved of by someone else can have a major impact on the development of one’s personality.
K: …
E: However… You have not forgiven yourself. That’s why you can’t change.
K: …
E: Alternatively, even if your lying self was forgiven… it would still do nothing to help you.
K: …Aah, you really are impressive. You think so much.
E: I am watching over ten troublesome prisoners, after all. Even if I don’t want to, I’m being relied on.
K: I haven’t forgiven myself… even if my lies are forgiven, it won’t resonate [with me]. It might just be both of these. All the lies I’ve told are tying me down. Ever since I was little, I’ve never truly opened myself to anyone. But in the end, people can’t be saved if they don’t [open up]. And by now, it’s gotten to a point where I can’t do it by myself anymore…
(machinery whirrs, bell rings)
K: I did think Milgram would be able to force its way past that, though.
E: Is that an attempt at provocation?
K: You didn’t manage to reach my sin.
E: …
K: Even though I want you to… Milgram isn’t so great after all, is it?
E: …Heh. Don’t push yourself too hard, after all that whining from earlier.
K: Ha. [This is] the wish of a liar who’s reached a dead end – come and figure out my lies, Milgram. And, Es… please, free me from these lies.
E: Yeah. Leave it to me. – Prisoner no.7, Kazui. Sing your sins.
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dilemmaontwolegs · 1 year
Text
Wild Nights || CL16 {4}
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x songstress!reader Voice claim: Ashe <- link to her Spotify here if you want to listen to the songs Summary: It's time to say goodbye to Monaco but not to Charles. Warnings: 18+only, phone sex WC: 2.4k
F1 Masterlist || One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Epilogue
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You had arrived in Monaco heartbroken and angry but somehow some of those broken pieces had been glued back together in just a few short nights. Now, as you walked through the airport for your flight to Los Angeles you felt a different ache entirely. You were off on a new adventure and following your dreams, but it had come at a cost. 
You turned and blew one last kiss to Charles as he stood still in the busy terminal, a few people waiting patiently to get his attention and an autograph. He smiled sadly and pretended to catch it, holding it to his chest until you disappeared inside the security area.
“Tell me I’m doing the right thing,” you murmured to Bea as she hooked her arm in yours and kept you walking when your feet stopped moving.
“This is your dream and I don’t need to remind you that you can’t waste this opportunity. There aren’t second chances in this industry. You know it and he knows it.” She placed her bags on the belt to be x-rayed and you put yours behind it. “Stop doubting yourself.”
You stepped through the metal detector and jolted when alarms went off. The security guard pointed to your arm and you remembered the charm bracelet that Charles had clasped to your wrist before you left for the airport. The miniature race car hanging was a reminder of your time together and the empty spaces were the promise of more to come if your schedules allowed it. It hadn’t seemed like a big ‘if’ at the time but now you wondered if it was a gentle way of saying goodbye.
“Hello?” Bea asked as she waved a hand in front of your face. “Take it off.”
You swallowed down the emotion that had tightened your throat and fumbled with the clasp until she rolled her eyes and did it for you. “What’s got into you?”
“Nothing,” you uttered as you passed back through the machine without setting it off and grabbed your bags back from the x-ray. You couldn’t put the bracelet back on and felt the emotional weight of the thin chain heavy in your pocket. Bea was still looking at you oddly so you forced a smile on your face. “I’m fine.”
“Mhmm, you nearly put salt in your coffee. You can barely function.”
You groaned as you remembered tripping over your feet getting into Charles’ car. “It was just an early morning, after a late night.”
“Well get used to it, you’re going to live in the recording booth for the foreseeable future.”
“Speaking of, I have a few ideas. Here, have a listen.” You handed her an airpod and went through the recordings you had made with Charles last night. Her head bobbed along to the tune Charles had written on the piano while you played around with some word variations to see which worked best. 
“I like it,” she said with a grin. “Do you have more lyrics?”
You nodded, not needing to tell her that you were overflowing with them. Charles had been your inspiration and your muse all night as he sat beside you on the piano bench, his fingers dancing across the keys with a grace you were envious of. It was easy to imagine endless nights spent sitting right there, everything with Charles was easy - you were just two broken pieces that fit together to hide the jagged edges.
The lights on the plane had turned dark and Bea was fast asleep like most of the passengers as you crossed over the Atlantic Ocean but you had been unable to close your eyes. Your thumbs flew across the keyboard on your phone as words spilled like a torrent from your head and you looked through the collections of songs you had written. 
There was a clear definition between the ones that were written before you landed in Monaco to the ones on your mind now.
You only hoped the record label liked the direction your music was heading. The samples Bea had sent through were all snapshots of your heartache and regret but these new ones were going to show your healing. You weren’t sure what you would do if you couldn’t record them all to narrate the evolution of your growth and help you move forward.
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Album Track Playlist: Side A: Moral of the Story Hope You're Not Happy Save Myself I'm Fine ft. Bea Side B: Love You Need Shower With My Clothes On Til Forever Falls Apart ft. Finneas Love Is Letting Go ft. Bea
You were so excited that you didn’t even think about the time when you called Charles. The bracelet on your wrist chimed since you couldn’t keep still and you ran your fingers over the charms he had added when he found time to stop in LA. You had even gone to Miami for the weekend when he was racing there and experienced the explosive atmosphere that he lived for, something that was so vastly different from his calm disposition.
“Hello?” he answered, his voice raspy with sleep.
“It’s me, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
The call dropped and a second later his name popped up requesting a video chat that you rushed to answer. 
“Is everything alright?” Charles asked, the side lamp beside his bed casting a warm glow across his bare chest as he sat up against the headboard.
“I did it,” you squealed as you held up the large vinyl album you had spent months working hard on. “I fucking did it!”
The sleepy glazed look in his eyes disappeared in an instant as he sat up straighter and leaned in to get a closer look at the album art, a proud smile bright on his face. “I knew you would, I never doubted you. Now can I finally listen to it in full?”
“Hold on,” you said as you crossed the room to the record player and showed him the two sides. “Before I met you or after?”
“What’s the difference?” he asked with a smirk since he certainly knew the answer after being a sounding board for your writing process during some very late night phone calls. 
“One is morose and dark, which is kind of your favourite to listen to when you are alone in your bed.”
“You know me so well, but I want to hear you happy.”
You flipped the album to the second side and put it gently onto the tray, carefully dropping the pin onto the edge. The speakers crackled to life before the opening track began, the piano intro sparking the memory of sitting beside him as he played the tune idly at 3am on a Sunday morning. 
You sprawled in the middle of your living room floor watching Charles as he listened to the song with you. It didn’t matter that it was after midnight in Monaco while the California sun blistered outside your window, for those precious minutes where he lay with you on the other side of the world, you were connected. 
His eyes closed as he absorbed it all and you could have believed he had drifted back off to sleep with the peaceful look on his face, but his fingers danced along invisible keys. Still, those green eyes would peek open with a smile whenever you harmonised along with some of the lines but he didn’t dare to say anything and disturb the moment.
One song merged with the next, then the next, until the needle reached the centre and started scratching. You flicked it off and let the silence wash over the room before rolling onto your stomach and propping your phone up, waiting to hear the verdict. 
Charles ran his tongue over his lips and swallowed deeply before he ran his finger beneath his eye and captured the glistening tear that spilled over his thick lashes. “Magnifique, chérie. Je suis tombé amoureux de toi.” He cleared his throat and shook his head. “You made me lose my english.”
You buried your face in the cushion you had been resting your head on and smothered the scream of excitement you let out knowing he liked it. “Thank you, and I’m sorry for waking you.”
“It was worth it,” he said sincerely, “and I can sleep on the plane to Austin tomorrow. I can’t wait to see you.”
“Same, unless you were planning to wear those assless chaps again,” you teased and he groaned at the reminder.
“They told me everyone was wearing them!”
“Maybe in a Texan strip club,” you laughed. “I think you nearly broke the internet.”
He settled back amongst the pillows and pulled one into his arms, hugging it tight. “I wouldn’t mind it breaking.”
You saw his eyes turn down and you sat up, bringing your phone closer to inspect him more closely. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he said dismissively but you weren’t going to let it drop when there was obviously something on his mind.
“Charles, there’s no secrets between us, I know you better than I know myself,” you softly encouraged him. “Whatever is worrying you, you can tell me.”
He ran a hand through his hair, his biceps flexing as he did, a nervous tick of his. “My contract runs out next season and this one has been terrible. What if we don’t improve?”
He sighed and the dejection broke your heart as you wished you could reach through the phone and hold him like he needed. Tomorrow, you promised yourself, tomorrow you would hold him and tell him what he always told you - that everything will work out exactly how it is supposed to be.
“I can feel my dreams slipping away, chérie, and I don’t know what to do. This is all Jules and I talked about, winning a championship with Ferrari, and I feel like I’m letting him down, and myself.”
“A lot can happen in a year, Charles, just focus on right now and keep trying your best, that’s something that is in your control.” You could see no amount of words were going to get through to him when he was stuck in his head like he was, so you tried for something different. 
You made your way to your bedroom and closed the door behind you, the sound of the lock clicking enough to draw Charles attention back to the screen. He sat up a little as you put the phone on your drawers giving him a full view of the room he had spent dozens of nights in, whenever he could schedule a layover between flights or have a few days break from work.
“I thought this might distract you,” you smirked as you began to push the straps of your dress off your shoulders, the material pooling at your feet. 
Charles bolted upright and shuffled back against the headboard as his chest rose with the deep breath he took. “You have my attention.”
“Do I?” you teased as you ran your fingertips over your collarbone and over the swell of your breasts still hidden by the lace of your bra. “You look a little sleepy, are you sure you don’t want to sleep instead?”
“You’re driving me crazy,” he groaned as threw the sheets back and pressed a palm to his erection.
“You drive me crazy, especially when I’m in bed all alone and missing your hands on my body.” You reached for the clasp of your bra and let it fall to the floor with your dress, sighing as you teased your nipples and imagined it was him. “What would you do if you were here, Charles?”
“Everything,” he said with a smirk as his hand started to slowly rub over the tented material of his boxer shorts. “I would start with your lips, I love how soft they are on mine. I would kiss every inch of your skin and taste you on my tongue.”
Your lips parted with a moan as the memory of his touch warmed your belly and your hands drifted lower, your thumbs hooking under your panties to slide them down your legs. “What else?”
“Fuck,” he echoed your moan and pushed his boxers over his hips before fisting his cock. “Get on the bed, chérie. I want to see you pleasure yourself.”
You practically floated to the bed on cloud nine and you knew you were already wet before you parted your legs for him to see. His heavy breaths reached you through the speakers as you dragged a finger through the warmth and glided it over your clit. 
“You make me feel so good, Charles. Nothing compares to you, my fingers can’t fill me like you can.”
His abs tensed as he tightened his grip and stroked himself faster. Your cunt clenched at the sight and you fucked yourself in time to his strokes. Your eyes threatened to flutter shut as your toes began to curl but you would daren’t miss a moment of watching Charles pleasure himself.
His chest rose and fell, his lips parted with soft pants as he ran the pad of his thumb over the bead of precum leaking at his tip, his other hand cupping his balls and gently squeezing them in time. You were so familiar with the sounds he made and you knew he was close, just like you were. 
The warmth in your belly was quickly spreading across your body and your back arched as it ignited into a fire that burned through you and Charles’ name tumbled from your lips. 
“Mon Dieu, t'es trop sexy,” he moaned as his entire body tensed and his cock throbbed, thick ropes of cum shooting over his abs. He shuddered as he squeezed out every last drop before sagging back against the headboard and sighing with relief.
“Better?” you asked with a giggle.
“Beaucoup,” he replied with a lazy smile, his body completely relaxed and his mind free for the moment from the worries that had burdened him.
“You’ve lost your English again.”
His chest bounced with a quiet laugh and he reached for a dirty shirt on the floor beside the bed, wiping his mess off his skin. “You have that effect on me.”
“I pride myself on it.” You saw his eyes starting to turn heavy and remembered it was the middle of the night where he was. “You should go back to sleep. I’ll see you in Austin.”
He was already starting to drift off as he snuggled back down in his bed and it wouldn’t have been the first time that the video call had stayed connected overnight. There were bad days when one of you needed that extra comfort of knowing you weren’t alone and it was the only way you could be there for each other. 
“Sweet dreams, Charles,” you whispered as he closed his eyes.
“I love you,” he murmured and you wondered if he would remember saying those words come morning light. Your stomach tied itself in knots as you hoped he did. 
“I love you too.”
Click here for part five.
Tagging: @91vhs @alwaysclassyeagle @applespiez @ravenqueen27 @booksobsess @tempo-rary-fix @baw-sixteen 
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korvessa · 4 months
Text
Bojan & Käärijä timeline: LIVERPOOL
1.5.
They all arrive to Liverpool, Käärijä has his first rehearsal
2.5.
Joker out has their first rehearsal
Käärijä’s ja Bojan’s dinner date and intagram live. During this the rest of the Joker out were doing interviews in their hotel and Bojan very proudly tells this to Jere
Here’s some instagram stories from their date
3.5.
Käärijä’s second rehearsal. Also tiktok-live. He was asked which country he would give 12 points. First he’s so frustrated because “you can only give to one country the 12 points, that’s meaannn” but obviously his answer was:
4.5.
Käärijä had a meet & greet press conference. The birth of ”The Bojan”
may 4th was also the famous boat day!
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5.5.
Joker Out has their second rehearsal
Käärijä had a livestream with Katri. Obviously Joker Out and Bojan mentions.
Nordic party where Joker out sneaked to
6.5.
Joker Out’s interview and Käärijä living rent free on Bojan’s mind. (He was asked if people stops him on the streets to take selfies, ”not as much as Käärijä tho, I blame his hair and pants 🥰”)
Famous babyseal interview.
Käärijä, his dancers and Bojan playing never have I ever. THIS was the birth of the “ARE YOUU”.
7.5.
Turquoise carpet day!
Käärijä’s and dancers ig-live. Jere keeps saying Carpe diem when he means turquoise carpet.
Käärijä interview, wild Bojan in the backround saying hi to the dancers
8.5.
Bojan, Kris and Jan visited in Käärijä’s sauna, here’s Yle’s video, here’s some more videos
I have come to a conclusion that this video of bojan and jere doing this carpe diem -thing is from the same day as they are wearing the same clothes.
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9.5.
1st Semifinal
This fucking interview. Some highlights:
- Kris saying that Jere said to them that if Joker Out won’t get to the final, käärijä will NOT perform there either!
- live reaction when the interviewer said that Finland is on first place on Joker Out’s monthly listeners -list on spotify
- Bojan said he wanted to go to Käärijä’s sauna today too but it was too full.
- Bojan tries to say ”hyvää päivää” (good afternoon) in finnish but fails. Some people try to claim he said ”hyvää vittua” or ”hyi vittu” but I really think he accidently said ”hyvää yötä” (good night). Because I think it’s cute that jere would teach him all those finnish sayings.
- Bojan telling about the snus proposal. He was genuinely surprised and only realized that it was a joke after he saw everyone filming. Then he pretended to took the snus for the Content. Says he once tried snus but threw up the whole night. (Then tried to impress jere in Tavastia and used snus, what a loser)
- fanfiction talk… Kris asks if there’s fics about Jere and Bojan. Bojan doesn’t know. (Or so he says)
- this fucking thing that Bojan said about Jere:
”We bonded over that childish energy that we both have. Käärijä is a very nice guy. He’s been very busy in this eurovision season, everybody wants a piece of him and I think it was quite necessary for him to find someone to like, kind of relax and put his mind off stuff”
Joker out reacting to semifinal 1 qualifiers
10.5.
Bojan had this interview where he kept saying ”Jere” instead ”Käärijä” to random interviewers
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Also another interview where he talked about his and Jere’s friendship. This was his face:
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11.5.
Second semi final (SSF)
Jere watching Joker Out Bojan perform
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12.5.
Dress rehearsal
Whatever this was:
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Did Jere just hang out the whole day under the Slovenian flag?
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13.5.
Final
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redtsundere-writes · 6 months
Text
Out Of My League | Heartsteel Kayn / Rhaast
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Heartsteel Kayn / Rhaast x f!reader
Part 1: Facecheck.
Part 2. Part 3. Part 4.
Sypnosis: A chronically online girl doesn´t know that her Discord friend may be someone she already knows.
Contents: Modern AU, High school AU, a lot of bad jokes and meme references. No warnings.
Word count: 2023 (omg this year)
Author's Note: So... this gremlin's birthday was yesterday and since he has been on my mind lately. I decided to write him a fic cause why not?
Thanks to @mclovin1803 for helping me with proofreading and picking a title. (If this is out of charcater, blame him)
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You were the exact definition of an introvert. You weren't good at talking to people you didn't know, your social battery doesn't last long, and you get excited when your friends cancel plans at the last minute. You like your loneliness and spending the afternoon playing video games and your guitar.
As an introvert, you didn't have many friends aside from a few classmates and some family members you were close with. Luckily, you had several friends on Discord. Among them was someone by the username of Rhaast. You didn't chat with him often because he wasn't as chronically online as you were, but he knew you were always down to play League of Legends with him.
One night while you were comfortably playing the new Super Mario Wonder on the switch, you received a message from Rhaast.
@Rhaast: League?
It had been two weeks since you had last played together, so you put the Switch aside and accepted. You opened League and put your headphones on to hop on the call with your friend.
"Hello there," you greeted him like Obi Wan as you waited for Rhaast to enter the game. He laughed at the reference. He had a deep, kinda seductive voice. You didn't know for sure if he was pretending or if he really talked like that.
"How have you been?," you asked while looking for your nightly playlist on Spotify to set the mood.
"Great. Yesterday I went out with a girl and today I broke up with her." You rolled your eyes at the comment. You knew Rhaast was quite the heartbreaker for discarding women like they were underwear. Personally, you didn't like that about your friend.
"And now why did you break up with this one,?" you asked as you started the game.
"I only went out with her once and she was already bugging me. My phone kept ringing because of her, so I blocked her," Rhaast answered with a chuckle. “Thank God I'll never date this asshole,” you thought.
"I wish there were more girls like you. You wait for me to send you a message and you are always down to play with me." He said while locking in Zed as his champion while you locked in Qiyana.
"I’m always down to play with you because I don't have any friends, not because I like you." You kamikazed by words.
"Damn, and I thought you had a crush for me," Rhaast joked. "Come to think of it, you never tell me anything about your love life," He suggested so he could hear some gossip.
"I haven't told you because I don't have any," you said, pretending to cry. Rhaast laughed at your foolish performance.
"Come on, you must have at least a crush or something," he insisted curiously as the game began. There was no one you liked... but someone caught your eye.
You felt like a fool for getting nervous every time you saw Kayn and his group of friends walk past you in the hallways. Kayn was a popular kid from a higher grade. He was good at sports, had good grades, was a member of an upcoming band, and was always surrounded by friends, while you were the complete opposite. You knew you shouldn't be nervous seeing him around because there was no chance that he would have the slightest interest in you. The majority of girls in your class drooled over him, so he was free to choose whoever he wanted. Why would he choose you?
Also, you had no good reason to go over and talk to him. The only chance you had, you blew it. You still cringe at yourself at night when you remember that moment. In your first days of high school, you had no friends and you just started learning to play guitar. When you tried to leave the music room that day, you ran into a tall boy with pink hair, perfect black eyebrows that indicated the true color of his hair, piercings decorating his ears, a pointy nose and a magnificent athletic body. Everything about him could catch anyone's attention but his most striking feature was his beautiful eyes with heterochromia, his left eye was green and the right; red. You were a moth and he was an RGB lightbulb that demanded your attention.  
You stood paralyzed infront of him. You clutched your music sheet notebook to your chest in nervousness. He was way too attractive and you didn't know how to feel about it. You tried to greet him but only stutters came out of your mouth. It was true that you weren't good at starting conversations but you had never been at a loss for words.
"Can you move? I want to get in," he asked while looking at you as if you were an inferior being.
"Ah... Yes-s, I'm s-sorry." You couldn't help your stutter as you stepped aside so he could enter the room. The Adonis didn't say anything else, but your eyes were still glued on him. The boy saw you watching him without shame.
"Can I help you with something?" He asked directly. You quickly shook your head and ran out of the room. “You are so stupid, you made yourself look like you have never seen a man!” You thought embarrassed as you felt your face getting hot. This was definitely your canon event.
One day, Rhaast sent you an ad. Riot was hosting a promotional convention for players at the capital at the end of the month.
@Rhaast: You goin'?
You: Maybe, sounds good.
@Rhaast: Let me know if you goin'.
You: Are you?
@Rhaast: If you go, I'll go.
You: K.
Thus the days passed until the day of the event arrived. You got ready with your best clothes: A K/DA sweatshirt, freshly washed pants, and the least dirty sneakers you had. You left your apartment nervously to finally touch some grass and meet your friend in real life. After a tedious subway ride, you arrived at the convention center where the event was taking place.
You: I'm here. Where are you?
@Rhaast: Wait for me at the entrance. I'm almost there.
You saw that there were several people waiting for their respective friends at the entrance, so you decided to stay in that area. You waited patiently while playing on your phone until you heard some girls next to you get excited.
"Look, it's Kayn, he looks so good!" They whisper to each other. You looked up quickly when you heard that name and, sure enough, the Adonis was there. “What is Kayn doing here?!” you thought as you tried to hide behind your phone as if you pretended he wasn't there, but your eyes traveled quickly between the screen and him. He was wearing a black crop with a jacket on top, tight pants and silver chains on his neck, fingers and waist. “Oh no, he's hot!” You thought nervously, wanting to run away. Your heart wasn't taking it.
You felt envious when the girls next to you didn't hesitate to approach him. Seeing the confidence they had to greet and talk to him, you felt that they had already known each other before. “I wish I could do that,” you thought.
"I didn't know you played League." One of the girls commented.
"I don´t play much," Kayn answered without taking much notice. Looking cool as heck.
"Are you here alone?" The other girl asked.
"Well, I'm meeting with a friend. I'll call her, " he said while searching for his friend's contact on his phone.
*Incoming call from Rhaast*
Out of nowhere, your phone started ringing from an incoming call on Discord. It was Rhaast. “No way,” you thought as you looked at Kayn and your cell phone simultaneously. “No, this must be a coincidence” you thought before answering.
"I'm here, where are you?" Your knees felt weak as Kayn spoke the words he was hearing over the phone. “Kayn is Rhaast?!” you thought in disbelief.
Kayn quickly found you and your eyes met. The last time that happened was a year ago. You knew Rhaast for over two years. That meant that Kayn, the cutest boy in school, had heard your horrible jokes, your fangirl screams when you saw Faker at almost every World Cup, and your burps for two years. You wanted the earth to swallow you whole at that moment.
"Oh, there she is. See ya," he hung up the call and said goodbye to his friends. He approached you while you were dying internally. You were lucky a wall was holding you up because you were sure you were going to pass out at any moment. “Breathe, maybe he doesn't remember you,” you thought.
"Hey! Why didn't you tell me we went to the same school, snake girl?" he joked. You covered your face in shame with your hands. “He does remember!” You thought, defeated. You still didn't believe that Kayn was still talking to you.
"Shut up, Rhaast… I mean, Kayn." You said, pulling your face out of its hiding spot. Kayn smiled, looking at your blushing cheeks.
"So you know me," he said confidently.
"How can I not know you? My classmates can't stop talking about you," you said defensively.
"I don't mean that," he said as he brought his face closer to yours. You backed up as far as the wall would allow you.
"Just look at you, you're crazy for me." He mocked in a flirting way. You couldn't help but to blush once again.
He was right, not only did he caught your eye, you liked him. You liked him more than you thought. Not because he was the popular Kayn, who is in a band and all the girls fight over him, but because he was also Rhaast. The one guy who laughed at your horrible jokes, the one who didn't criticize you every time you screamed when you saw Faker and burped when you did to match your energy.
"Ha! Says the guy that I always carry,” you mocked him back. Kayn laughed. That laugh that made you feel better in the small corner of your room.
"That's my girl!" He said before taking your hand. You blushed at the unexpectedly intimate act. His hand gently squeezed yours to guide you to the convention entrance.
You spent the whole afternoon chatting and spending all your money on merchandise. You got to know Kayn better than you ever thought. He was a little bit blunt, but nicer than you pictured. It was like you were seeing the other side of Rhaast. Kayn also got to know you on another level when you started to feel comfortable around him. You were a girl with whom he could see himself talking for many hours everyday without getting bored, something he had not felt with anyone else.
You and Kayn said goodbye to a wonderful day together. Both felt their hearts beating like crazy for each other. You had spent the entire day together but you still missed each other once you parted ways. You arrived home and then threw yourself on the bed to start screaming about the exciting day you just had. You had finally talked to Kayn and he seemed to like you. And boy did he like you...
The next day, another school day had ended, so you decided to go to the music room. On your way, you saw Kayn and his friends heading towards the exit. Finally, you got the courage to do something you've always wanted to do.
"Hey, Kayn!" You called him from your place. He turned around to see you among the other students passing by in the hallway.
"Wanna play later?" You asked, blushing lightly for attracting his attention. His friends began to tease him that a girl was talking to him that way, but he didn't care. Kayn smiled as he saw you standing there, blushing but determined.
"You know I do!" He said before turning around and getting back with his friends. You smiled. Maybe he wouldn't have chosen you before, but now you had a chance. 
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gigisimsonmars · 1 year
Text
Reunions
Jake Seresin x F!Reader. This is my first fic, so please be nice! Dedicated to @sebsxphia - so proud of you! Thanks to @gretagerwigsmuse for reading this over. Tagging a few people who might be interested: @blue-aconite @anniesocsandgeneralstore @wildbornsiren @seresinhangmanjake @callsignvalley @theharddeck
Warnings: pregnancy scare, situationships, anxiety.
You stand on your tip-toes, peering around the heads of the people in front of you on the dock, trying to get a glimpse of the gangway. Jake will be in his camo uniform, blending into the crowd of sailors walking off the carrier. The sun is so bright, the wind blowing the sea air off the water and mixing with the smells of the crowd around you. You feel a little nauseous. You haven’t seen him in three months.
An excited little girl knocks into you, hopping up and down, tugging on her father’s hand. “Mommy! Can you see Mommy?” Her father is smiling, even as the lines of exhaustion from the past few months carve down his cheeks. “She’s almost here, baby.” You stare a little too long. The noise of the crowd, the pressure of the bodies around you, the light, it’s all pressing down on you. You’re a little lightheaded. You look again at the gangway but can’t pick Jake out.
You’re staring at a family reunion, parents clutching their gangly son – do they really let kids join this young? He looks sixteen – when Jake finds you.
He looks perfect, bronzed by the sun, sea glass eyes full of light. He asked you to come get him, and he emailed you every week while he was away and called twice, and he calls you sweetheart -  
“Sweetheart, you okay?” He’s been speaking. You should have been listening. You missed his first words to you.
“I-,” the words aren’t coming. Jake looks at you a moment, carefully.
“Too much noise?” he asks gently, so gently that it’s out of place in this boisterous scene. You nod, still unable to call up your voice.
“C’mon, let’s blow this popsicle stand.” He slings his arm around your waist and leads you back to the parking lot. Opens the passenger door for you, closes it gently. Slings his seabag into the trunk and comes around, settles into the driver’s seat.
You fold your hands tightly in your lap, braced against your stomach. It’s an old habit, to make yourself smaller. You haven’t been this tense around him since he drove you home after your fifth date.
Jake starts the car. The radio station you had on starts to play. He glances over at you as the old Garth Brooks song fills the car. You started listening to music like this with him, and kept listening when he left you. You’re pretty sure that George Strait will be in your Spotify Top 5 list this year.
The two of you head back to your place. Jake’s has been shut up for weeks, though you’ve been keeping an eye on it. He likes yours better anyway. You have soft pillows and pretty art posters on the walls, and a spice rack that you actually use. He complains that your couch isn’t big enough for a six foot naval aviator and his girl (your stomach flips again remembering when he said that), but you’ve managed okay.
Jake pulls into the apartment parking lot. There’s always a spot open for golden boy somehow, even though you usually have to circle around a couple of times and park in the back. He gets out, gets his bag, opens your door and takes your hand. You walk into the building together, take off your shoes together, bumping into each other in the small entryway to your place. You go into the living room and sit on the couch. You still haven’t spoken.
Jake joins you after he goes to the bathroom. He must have splashed water on his face, you can see the droplets on his collar. He’s tense now, too, you can tell.
“I thought I was pregnant.”
The words fall like a stone into water. His eyes widen, and drop to your flat stomach. Your hands are braced there again. You’d only been seeing him for two months before he left.
“I wasn’t – I’ve never skipped a period before, so I thought maybe – but it was probably just stress.” Stress from work, stress from family, stress from your maybe-boyfriend going to sea for three months, whatever.
But that week when you thought maybe? You’d thought about children as a hazy, dreamy someday. But this was real. You could have really had a baby – a sweet-faced baby with a round tummy and big green eyes. You could have made room in your apartment, changed your work schedule, spent Saturday mornings at the library story hour instead of sleeping off Friday night. You could have had a baby with a man who didn’t love you and probably didn’t even want to be a father.
Jake sucks in a deep breath, then exhales. “Sweetheart…” he clearly doesn’t know what to say. You’ve dropped this on him with no warning.
You stand up, pace into the kitchen. You consciously tidied up your breakfast dishes this morning even though you usually leave them for after dinner. Jake is fastidious. You run the sponge over the stovetop instead. You can never get all the grease off. Jake can.
You hear him get up and follow you. He’s leaning against the doorframe, you know without looking. You’re throwing off mixed signals, you know that. You’re not angry at him. You want him to touch you again. But you’re afraid of what he’s going to say next. If he says that the two of you weren’t serious, that it was a good thing, that he likes you a lot but he’s not cut out for fatherhood, you will either chuck the sponge straight at his head or splinter all over your kitchen floor.
“Would it have been so bad?”
What.
You spin around and gawk at him.
“I mean, we’ve only been seeing each other for a few months, but I thought you wanted kids?”
What.
“I know we’ve never talked about it but it was pretty obvious when you were playing with Payback’s kid.”
Payback’s kid is adorable. She has the entire Dagger Squad wrapped around her finger. You’re pretty sure that she has never been put down the whole time she’s been in North Island. Right before everyone deployed you all had a picnic on the beach. She was wearing the tiniest sunhat you had ever seen and punched Fanboy with her tiny baby fist when he stopped her from eating sand.
“I – what?”
Jake shifts uncomfortably. You’ve never seen him like this. He’s always so confident and smooth, whether he’s sliding up beside you at the bar or opening a car door for you or carrying you to his bedroom or kissing you goodbye and whispering for you to meet him on the dock when he gets back.
“We would have figured it out.” The light through your window dapples across his face. It must be windy, you can see the branches of the tree moving from their shadows.
You literally had never considered the conversation going this way.
“Unless you didn’t – unless I’m not the one – then I guess –”
“You are.” You didn’t even realize that your mouth had started forming the words until they were out. “I didn’t – we’ve never talked about kids, or exclusivity or anything. I didn’t want to assume…” You know that your eyes are big and hopeful and watery.
Jake’s face relaxed the second you started speaking. He crosses the kitchen to you, takes the sponge from you gently and tosses it in the sink. Blindly you grope for a dishcloth to dry your hands before they come to rest lightly on his shoulders.
“Sweetheart, it’s been you since I dropped you off on your doorstep after our first date.”
Oh. Now you’re crying.
He kisses your cheeks, kisses the tears away, then lightly sets his mouth to yours. It’s the first time in three months. You’ve missed him so, so much. The week you thought you were carrying his child you’d curled yourself around your belly every night, thinking that there was a piece of him in there. It had hurt so much more than you had expected when the test came back negative.
Jake finally pulls away, looks at you with such tenderness.
“You want a baby?”
You nod, shakily. It still feels risky to admit it. Five months together, three of those apart, isn’t long at all.
“You’d better come with me to Texas for Thanksgiving then. My dad says he’ll give me my grandma’s ring whenever I’m ready, but he wants to meet you first.”
You suck in a breath. He’s told his family about you?
“Sweetheart, I like to think I’m pretty good at reading you, but I need to hear the words.”
You tip up your chin a bit. “Oh, was that a proposal?”
He grins down at you, eyes flashing.
“Oh, you’ll know when I propose, sweetheart.”
Your smile matches his.
“I guess you also know what I’ll say, then.”
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jake-g-lockley · 1 year
Note
ooo hi!! can i request something with marc where he tells the reader a secret (any secret) while they're laying in bed together? just something cute and sweet and maybe a lil vulnerable, thank you!!
Forever Feels Like… (Marc Spector x reader)
Masterlist | Spotify Playlist | Wanna be Tagged?
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A/N: Heya lovely! Thanks for the ask, this is so pure ughhh. I added a little change but I hope you like this huhu <33 THIS GIF OF MARC LORD I WILL SIN HES SO BEAUTIFUL!! also THIS SONG UGH TAYLORRRRR
Word count: 1.4 k
One of your favourite things in the world was coming back home to a soft warm bed where no secrets are kept. It was a promise you made with the love of your life and he had intended to keep that promise, no matter how much the truth hurt. It was a difficult process, trying to get Marc to open up, but when he started doing it, he felt as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders and he realized that if he ever had secrets he wouldn’t mind sharing them with you.
Today was a particularly cold night. The city below was exceptionally silent and it wasn’t hard to get cosy in bed. You had a book in your hands, mouthing the words as Marc dried his hair off from his late shower, lighting one of your favourite scented candles before climbing into bed. He crawled towards you and settled his head on your tummy, wordlessly placing your hand in his hair and you smiled down at him, letting your fingers lazily twist his damp locks.
The silence between the both of you was something of a luxury, rich and comfortable, a silence that made you feel like everything was going to be alright whenever he was by your side. Sometimes, one of you would punctuate the silence with something that the both of you would giggle about and when your peripheral caught Marc staring up at you, you knew it was his turn today.
“Do you ever just pretend like you are in a music video when you’re listening to music?” Marc whispered.
“Huh?” you were caught off guard with his statement and you sat up a little, confused.
“Uhhh, nevermind…” Marc reeled back and your heart almost stopped.
“No, no, wait, do you?” you stutter out before you could lose your husband to his own dilemmas.
After a long pause, you finally got an answer from Marc.
“Yes…”
Your mouth twisted into a grin as Marc hides his face in his hands. You caught a blush creeping up his face and your heart fluttered at his cuteness.
“Tell me how.” you whispered, letting your hands curl around his wrist, gently tugging his hands to expose his beautiful face.
“No.” he mumbled.
“Baby, come on, you can’t spring a secret on me like that and not dwell into it. You know I will never ever judge.” you felt Marc’s vulnerability pulling at your heartstrings.
Marc takes a deep breath as you lace your fingers with his, kissing his knuckles gently. He gets up from where he is laying down and changes his position, so that now he was facing you.
“Sometimes, I just close my eyes and let the music soothe everything and it means that I eventually forget all my troubles and fall into a dream world.” he whispers, his breath fanning your face with how close he was.
You nod, egging him on.
“It’s just me alone, in a world without people and it feels safe and comfortable.”
Marc used a lot of things to cope over the years. He had believed in himself and therapy had been slowly taking the edge off things. You were glad that your husband was getting all of the help that he needed. Often you would find him doing things that would make you smile.
He’d like to seem tough around you but in reality, he was a real softy who deserved the world. Sometimes you would catch him fast asleep with his headphones on, and when you leaned down to press a kiss onto his cheek, you would catch Taylor Swift’s beautiful voice, making you giggle at his choice of music. It was endearing, the way he would smile softly in his sleep and snuggle his nose into the pillow.
“Then when I met you, you kinda changed everything, because then, all the songs had you in it.”
His statement caught you way off guard now and your heart thudded in your chest furiously.
“Me?”
“Yeah, you.” He smiled softly and you swore in that moment, you will literally do anything for him.
“Oh Marc…” you whispered, tracing your fingertips on the lines on his face.
“Winters here are cold and miserable but you make me feel warm and loved.” He whispers, his lips meeting yours softly.
Healing was something that was hard for Marc. The idea of mortality was so confusing for a man that had died and come back to life. When the songs started to sound like they had been written about you and him, Marc choose to believe that he needed to cherish his mortality, choosing to hand it to you instead because he knew that you were the only one he could trust it with.
“Sometimes I catch myself daydreaming about you and I hate being a romantic but I guess it's ok since it’s you.” He sighs and you giggle.
“Says the man who lets me steal his favourite cookies.” you boop his nose and his face scrunches.
“You and me both know that the missing cookies are the work of elves.” Marc grumbles and you barked out a laugh before kissing his forehead. “Very sexy wifey elves.”
You used to dream of a man like this, one who would give you everything without a single question. You knew his love was genuine and he had so much love to give, so much so that it exhausted him. You searched hard for years but he turned up when you least expected him to and now here he was, this beautiful man, barring his secrets to you.
“I guess it’s my turn now huh, Spector?” you say, taking a deep breath and preparing yourself.
Marc nodded encouragingly into your chest where he had settled his head in. You gently wrapped your arms around him and held him close, twisting his hair between your fingers.
“Okay, mine has been a little thing I’ve been doing for the past few weeks. I’ve stopped wearing setting spray.” You sighed and Marc brought his head out of your chest and glared at you.
“Wait! Before you say anything, hear me out.” You say before Marc could berate you about that not being a real secret.
He nodded, snuggling back into your chest.
Marc had always been a big fan of the blush you wear. Everyday you thank the goddess called Selena Gomez and slowly press the cream foundation over your foundation. Marc always noticed when you wore it and would watch you with his head perched on his palms as you skipped around the kitchen making breakfast.
One day, you had forgotten to spray your setting spray and Marc kissed your cheek before you could say anything. When he pulled away, you noticed that the blush had transferred onto his lips, the light tinge of colour making your heart swell with happiness. He left to work like that before you could say a thing and from that day on, you decided to skip out on your setting spray.
“So yea, you’ve been going to work with my blush on your lips, babe.” you say finally and almost jumped when Marc began to laugh in your arms.
“I know.” Marc stuttered out between laughs.
“Huh?”
“Yea, I know, I’ve been doing it on purpose.” He raised his head to kiss your cheek with a big ‘MUAH!’
“You looked so cute the first time I did that to you, there was a small imprint of my lips on your cheek and I pretended not to notice, but I loved it. It just gave me a reason to come back and kiss you again and again.” he said, kissing you between sentences as you writhed and giggled under him.
“What god brought you to me?” You sighed, pressing your forehead to his.
“Weirdly, an Egyptian one.” Marc murmured.
“Ok, let’s not talk about big bird and summon him here.” you rolled your eyes at the thought of your husband’s ex employer.
“Mmhm, I’d most definitely wish to be alone now with my sweetheart.” Marc mumbled as his lips dropped to yours again and his arms curl around your waist, pulling you impossibly close.
You relaxed into his touch, accepting every single path you had taken to get to this single moment. Your heart swooned as Marc hooked your legs behind him, his nose dragging gently along your neck.
Secrets had never tasted so good.
Reblogs are appreciated~~~
Tagging: @fandxmslxt69 @randomnessfangirl @bodhisattva11 @marc-spectors-wife @nyotamalfoy @steven-grants-world @whatsliferightnow @minigirl87 @wonderfulboiledcoldpotato @alexxavicry @autismsupermusicalassassin @flordelalunas @marygraceee @bloodredwolfsbane @euphoricosmo @sky-robin @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @sugarpunch-princess @violet-19999 @celiaswife @swiggy-needs-mental-help @ghostheartbeat @kierramofficial @ryebreadsworld @your-voice-is-mellifluous @lil-stark @absolutelybloodyhopeless @mintpurplemnm @spookyysilverr @bubblezuku @cookielovesbook-akie @mandoloriancookie @pimosworld @undermoonknightwalk
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fairyhaos · 8 months
Text
seventeen as seventeen songs
requested by @nishloves
notes: honestly this was hard to do 😭 i kept thinking about songs that are most iconic for that member rather than which song they fit, but hopefully it's still somewhat accurate <3
[the spotify playlist with these songs in too]
masterlist
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seungcheol
clap. if there's any song that screams "i'm the leader of seventeen and we're better than any of your lazy asses", then it's clap. it's also such an iconic song, and the hypeness and brightness and the coolness and suaveness it radiates all at once is very very seungcheol, if you ask me. it also doesn't hurt that he looked so so good with his silver hair in the mv.
jeonghan
snap shoot. okay, this one sounds really unusual, but hear me out. snap shoot gives encore song vibes, goodbye song but not quite goodbye, "today was fun and i hope to see you soon" vibes. it's like standing back and watching everyone have fun because of something that you did. it's being happy n having fun by seeing that you made others have fun. and that's jeonghan.
joshua
falling for u. it's such a delicate song, all polite and sweet and delicate and therefore it's just very very much joshua. the youthful, almost playful edge to the melody reminds me of him, along with the kind of naive, "you're so pretty so i fell in love" kind of loving that the song feels like makes me think of josh. also a bonus that he has tons of lines in this song, since it's just a duet w him and jeonghan haha
junhui
my my. the hope!! the sweetness!! the little funky music in the intro that adorably reminds me of junhui's voice!! it's all just so him. the way this song just encapsulates feelings of youth and life and being forever young and forever going towards your dreams... that never-failing optimism is so junhui it almost hurts
hoshi
hit. if you don't think the constant "woah woah woah woah woah"s and "let me drop the 음악" aren't the most hoshi things ever then idk what you're on, man. it's hype, it's powerful, it's "im better than you and even you know it" and so cocky but also so True that you can't even refute it. it's about always doing better, always going further, and that's just so hoshi.
wonwoo
lean on me. jazzy, chill, dependable vibes are a very very wonwoo thing, actually, and that's what this entire song is about. it's laid back, and yet loving at the same time, caring and comfortable and ready to be by your side. it feels like a song you'd listen to while on a walk with him at night, his camera up to his eyes, his hand wrapped around yours.
woozi
247. it's romantic, but also a little wistful at the same time? elegant, yet nostalgic, thoughtful and sweet and like dancing across a glass lake. it's what woozi feels like, with his intelligence and how delicately he feels things. to be honest, a lot of the ballad-style, romantic earlier songs of svt fit him rlly well, but 247 even more so
minghao
hit song. it's a smooth feeling song, like running a cloth over a black marble countertop. honestly, finding a minghao vibe song is really hard for me, but some of their gentler songs seem to fit him, full of devoted, almost shy love that feels very minghao to me. that devotion, that softness and yet the determination also present feels like him
mingyu
boomboom. purely based on the vibes of the song tbh, and the prominent drums and chromaticism of the melody feel like mingyu, along with the brass accents and the confidence and coolness is just all so very very there that it makes me think of mingyu practically almost instantly.
dokyeom
kidult. not only because his vocals in this song are both iconic and utterly incredible, but even its message is very dokyeom. it encapsulates his innate urge to help people, to heal people, to make sure they smile and that they know they're loved. it's a precious song, and a song about letting others know they're precious, and has me crying and smiling, just like dokyeom does.
seungkwan
'bout you. it's a devastatingly romantic song, like a simple, easy love. it's like the type of love with zero complications, just full of two people laughing and running through fields hand in hand and hearts full of love for one another. the entire song feels so fresh, almost citrusy, and never ever fails to bring a smile to my face. just like seungkwan, actually.
vernon
crush. im gonna be real with u i have no idea how to explain this one but yeah. crush gives me vernon vibes and idk, maybe it's the funky vibes of the song with its mild chromaticism that give me a vernon feeling, but yeah. vernon is crush. (maybe it's because that's what i have on him-)
chan
domino. it's a light song, like floating but not quite. almost as if bouncing on your feet in midair, leaping across clouds which just gives me chan vibes. it also gives me movie ending credits song vibes after a bright, high school-set rom com learning-to-grow kind of movie which is very very chan in my opinion
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swaps55 · 9 months
Text
I lost my friend to cancer yesterday.
I’d really like to tell you about her.
We meet people throughout our lives who change it, in big ways and small ways, and ways we will never forget. Sara/ @dearophelia was one of those people for me.
I met her here, on tumblr, about 10 years ago. I wish I could remember what piece of writing I stumbled onto first, but she was such a gifted writer that I immediately wanted to see more. I somehow wound up following her live blog of a road trip, which was full of uproariously snarky jokes about Ohio. I had the courage to reach out and tell her how funny I thought she was, and how great her username was to this fellow Mass Effect fan who lived right down the road in Kentucky and got all the Ohio jokes.
We talked. We chatted. I introduced her to a group of people I played Mass Effect 3’s multiplayer with. She grew from a level one first-timer to a total badass who could carry a team and taught other people how to do the same thing.
And then my life fell apart.
Everything fell apart for me. Turning to my family wound up being a catastrophe, and I didn’t have local “real world” friends I could turn to.
So I texted Sara. Told her I needed somewhere to go, and asked if I could stay with her that weekend.
She texted back, “Yes.” Sent me her address, and said to ping me when I got there. She didn’t hesitate. She didn’t ask why. She just gave me shelter. So I showed up on her doorstep, and she listened while I told her everything. She didn’t judge me. She didn’t think I was insane. She had every right to think both things. Instead, she gave me safe harbor at a time when I had no control over my life and didn’t know what was going to happen to me.
For the next several months, I made frequent trips up I-75 to Ohio. She kept an air mattress out for me. We played multiplayer. We talked about Mass Effect. We talked about life. We bitched about all the people who hated on one of our favorite characters. She introduced me to Babylon 5. I have so many memories of sitting on the couch in her apartment, with her cat Odo crawling around behind my head. When I eventually pieced myself together enough to leave Kentucky and start the work of starting over, it meant leaving behind that sanctuary with her in her apartment, and it was something I had to grieve along with everything else.
And now I am grieving it again, and so much more. I am so lucky I was able to fly back to Ohio a few weeks ago while I had the chance. Hugging someone goodbye, knowing it’s the last hug you’re going to get….well, it sucks.
But I got that hug.
Sara was so many things. She was a gifted storyteller with entire worlds in her head. One of the weekends I stayed with her, she had recreated the Mass Effect galaxy map on her wall with notecards and string to help her tell a story. She could create a character and make you fall in love with them in a matter of sentences. Because of her stories, I binge watched all ten seasons of Stargate SG-1.
She was also not afraid to unapologetically be herself. I had a lot of things to learn and unlearn about the world, feminism, gender, and sexuality, especially in those days. Listening to her fight for her space in the world and refuse to be told she was anything less than who she wanted to be helped me learn some of the things I needed to learn, and embrace the things I discovered about myself.   
She loved music. She made the best fucking playlists. She taped inspirational notes around her condo. She sent me a set of coasters that say, “Fuck It,” and “Nah,” and I use them every single day. Her smile was gorgeous. She lit up a room.  
And now she’s gone. I won’t see her in my tumblr notes anymore. I won’t see her on my dash. I won’t get pinged with new Odo photos. She won’t get to hear the new music I listen to that shows up in our Spotify blend. I won’t get to talk about the next Mass Effect game with her. I won’t get any more Ao3 updates in my inbox.
I wanted you to know about her – this pocket friend of mine who impacted my life in ways that I won’t ever forget.
I hope you will read her stories. Listen to her playlists. She was a brilliant human being. She should still be here. She isn’t.
And I miss her.  
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