#and ppl who don't want to see or don't want their kids to see the kinky stuff need to take care of that themselves

[edge-oftheworld]

real talk though how much of their success was facilitated by the fact liz hemmings sees 'child with adhd' and thinks 'future world renowned musician' and just invested so much love and time and money into nurturing not only her own child's ambitions but also these two kids he brought home from school and the table drummer from her year 9 math class of 2009

#she's one of my heroes fr #she believed in them so much #this is exactly what every kid growing up neurodivergent needs #and she's a teacher. she knows things!! it's not blind optimism #liz hemmings #5sos #5 seconds of summer #luke hemmings #ashton irwin #calum hood #michael clifford #neurodivergence #adhd #i'm not a doctor #neurodivergent acceptance fr #long before there was a mainstream conversation about it #some people just get it so instinctively and let's appreciate them! #disclaimer this post came almost entirely from thinking about ashton's artist friendly episode. i'm not here to armchair dx ppl #i chose to post it bc we can all do with thinking a bit about what we're seeing before we judge people for their adhd traits #or infantalise them or whatever and i think the fandom is ready #again i'm not here to say who does and doesn't have adhd i don't know that. but i do know its traits and i want to call them what they are

[gibbearish]

kinda frustrating how we've spent the last few months acknowledging how a lot of well intentioned but guilt trippy social justice posts are like specifically designed to worm into ocd ppls brains and then now every single post abt palestine is "i dont care how bad your mental health is, i dont care how bad looking at all this makes you feel, if you don't read every single post you see on this topic in full you are a horrible person and directly contributing to their deaths. 'waaaah my mental health' well at least youre not being bombed, did you think about that??" and its like. i absolutely get where youre coming from but you dont get to complain that guilt tripping is bad then turn around and use it anyways because you think the cause youre using it for is worthwhile. like. everyone thinks the cause theyre using it for is worthwhile, thats why theyre using it. but its still a shit way to do it

#like when you make a tumblr post to your tumblr blog youre not guilt tripping people who disagree with you #youre guilt tripping your followers who if theyre still following you probably already agree with what youre saying #and esp on a topic with so much brutality involved like. yeah OBVIOUSLY theres people who have to look away #like. yall know a bunch of these posts and articles and videos show graphic injuries in them right? #like i physically cant watch news videos abt this bc i will spend days with my brain making me imagine #peoples deaths in graphic detail specifically because it knows that will upset me. and i would prefer not to do that #in fact me doing that helps palestinians exactly as much as finishing my brussel sprouts helps starving kids #by which i mean none. its just a cheap guilt trip to get you to do something you don't want to #which when it's brussel sprouts thats whatever but when its 'deliberately expose yourself to extremely triggering #things otherwise youre a bad person'. not so much #idk i feel like maybe its due to ppl feeling. agitated abt not being able to do anything abt it #like the government isnt listening and we're a world away so physically /all/ we can do really is sit and watch #so i can understand a) wanting to find someone to lash out at to alleviate that feeling #like if you cant stop the actual problem at the very least you can shout down the people supporting it right? #and b) seeing 'not watching' or even just 'not watching as closely as i am' as a transgression #bc well its all we can do so if youre not even doing that you must be bad #and its like. i really do get it. but the whole world is watching right now‚ like this is THE big news thing happening rn #so a few people choosing to avoid to subject will not make a single iota of difference #idk. i guess what im saying is if youre feeling the urge to yell at someone for not looking close enough #just donate some money to a support fund instead itll do a lot more

[dennisboobs]

ok at the point now where looking at an image of dennis makes me want to smash my head through a wall

#ada speaks #idk how ppl exist in this fandom who don't feel bad for him tbh #which is the last thing den wants bc being perceived as weak and pitiable is devastating to him but #chasing this mfer down to give him a hug #he is so. fucked up. he has been fucked up by every adult in his life. #i think the fandom perceives him as this spoiled rich kid who had it better than most of the gang but the reality is #he was failed just like the rest of them and it's almost worse because he doesn't – and almost CAN'T – recognize this #letting the protective ego-boosting and boasting drop leads to him having to confront SO much baggage and i don't think he is mentally able #i think he DOES know deep down that everything is a lie and he has been hurt because we see that self awareness in ptsdee and tends bar #but his relationship with everyone in the gang is so strained that i don't think he would be able to have a moment like charlie did in s15 #even in tends bar there's a moment where they all recognize something is going on with him but immediately place him at the center #because he's the problem with him. anything done to him is his fault. it's not only something he reinforces. the gang does too #this must be because *dennis* has no feelings and he hates valentines day because everyone else is unlike him which makes *him* mad #the entire gang has an issue placing blame on themselves but to not even be able to conceive of dennis being hurt by them is. telling #because he's inhuman to them. it's how he's propped himself up and yet simultaneously hopes that they will see through that act #the way he reworks things in his mind so that everything is a consequence of his grand plan #means that he is always at fault regardless of whether he brushes the blame off #so he is not a *victim* of anyone else. because this was all under his control. he wasn't raped because he was initiating it. #klinsky was His Conquest. he was fourteen and she was in her fifties but he forced himself on her so that makes it His Fault. #it was a two way road. he's fourteen. and he 'entered' her. he's fourteen. but she was uncomfortable with his advances. but he was fourteen #cw csa mention

[dmclemblems]

people before three hopes: rodrigue doesn’t care about his son

my son

my son

thank you for taking such good care of my son

how fortunate he’s my son all the same I’m glad he has you to look after him

#Three Houses #Rodrigue #rodrigue calls him ''my son'' at every possible opportunity and i think that is very nice for him #if he truly wanted to distance himself from his own child then he would use his name and not refer to him #as specifically his child bc it would remind him/others that they're father and son #don't know why yuri knows what he knows but u know what it's yuri so i won't question it he just knows shit #but look rodrigue has always wished the best for felix even if felix didn't want anything to do with him #he never stopped trying to be a father to him or have a relationship with him #even with felix being so snappy and rude rodrigue still acknowledged him every chance he got and cared abt him #he's happy that byleth is his teacher bc he feels that he can't get through to felix and he's happy someone is around felix who can #in he can't do it he just wants to know someone else is out there who can care for him in the ways he can't #imo it's always been very clear and obvious that he loves felix and i don't think he was ever a BAD father #ppl just love smacking on that bad dad label without even paying attention to what's going on #it's not even fckn subtext lmfao it's literally right in your face #it's not his fault if felix doesn't want to talk to him and pushes him away. there's only so much he can do about that #he can at least still care about him and appreciate others being there for him #if you have a child who doesn't want to deal with you then as a parent you can still cherish them and see them as your kid #you can still want the best for them and talk about them to others and see how they're doing #no matter how much grief felix would give him anything at all rodrigue was still a parent to him #he didn't just call off being a parent to him bc of felix's feelings. he just dealt with it and continued doing what he could #you don't just stop being a parent bc your kid acts like that. rodrigue certainly didn't stop even in houses

[chaotictomtom]

got teary eyes at a video abt a guy drawing dannygonzalez 100 times bc i got emotional abt someone starting to draw and pushing through how hard and discouraging it can be like this dude started right away with portraits. portraits that need to look like the person. what a mad lad. anyway idk what's wrong with me i think the beauty of life and humanity and ppl trying out art and getting back up after failing got me a lil

#idk him going “i started here!” while showing the first ever drawing right after his final portrait... #idk seeing a random dude seeing his progress in smth after beating himself up and going“wow im proud of myself for that”...sniffles #i sometimes wish i wasn't the type of artist who started since. like you're a baby and start making art #cos i don't feel like i've learned the basics of anything #i can say that i've drawn my whole entire life but. i don't feel like my art reflects it. #it's frustrating to see ppl starting like 5 years from now and getting insanely good at their crafts when. you've been doing it your entire #life but ig too much as an hobby/mindlessly/not seeking the fundamentals as a kid so now you're. stuck in-between #wanting to learn basic stuff while getting frustrated abt having to stqrt from the beginning when you have years behind you of practice #and relearning certain things you've assimilated long ago #anyway #ily art ily humans ily humans trying out arts and figuring out what's fun for them

[liquidstar]

I was thinking it would be cool if there was an ocd character bracket poll (if there is lmk?) But also I don't think there are enough characters in popular media that are actually good ocd representation 💀 so it would almost certainly have to extend to headcanon...

#because putting more niche characters in there would mean not a lot of ppl would care about the poll #plus the point of the poll is to figure out who the most iconic is right? so yeah #but like. when people think of ocd characters they think of shit like sheldon cooper #and if i made a poll like that i wouldn't want to put misrepresentations or stereotypes in... like that's not real ocd swag :/ #I mean obviously I'd still allow a bit of wiggle room for minor hiccups. or hyperbole (in characters like dtk) that fits into the universe #and it's not like i would disqualify characters just for being nerdy even though that is kind of a stereotype #like that kid from Stephen King's It. idr his name. it wasn't a fully accurate depiction and was sort of stereotypical #but it can fly by based on what did make sense #either way I'd certainly not put in characters that don't have ocd at all but ppl think they do just because they like cleaning #like the guy from att/ck on t/tan (wouldn't either way tbh) #though for some like that i can see an argument like. idk. monica geller or someone whos like neurotic enough that you can make a case for #though again a lot of these rely largely on stereotype.... so . but it's what's in the popcultural zeitgeist for ocd 😕

[angelsdean]

their sibling dynamics are so fascinating to me bc i have a similar parentified dynamic w/ my own younger sister, like to the point where it's the "joke" in the family that i'm literally her second mother / third parent like people say that about me. anyways. but we're also like, besties ??? and we have a bigger age gap than dean and sam, double their age gap actually. and we both make fun of each other and "fight" and have our own inside jokes and can make each other riot with laughter from just a single look and we can have whole conversations w/o saying a word and we have overlapping neurodivergencies that just make us go "same brain!" but then also she has sensory issues that i just do not get and vice verse and we tease each other abt them but if anyone else were to do such a thing obvs it'd be like wtf dude??? but we're allowed to be extra mean to each other (and no one else can) bc we love each other and it's unconditional and we're literally besties. but then at the same time, she'll be a huge baby and not want to do something or do it wrong and i'm just like [exasperated sigh] "give me that" and just do it myself. or she won't want to order at restaurants. or ask for help finding something in a store. and i also do not want to do that but my older sibling "mother-mode" kicks in and i'm like ok fine i'll do this for you. and i always give her the bigger portion of things if it's not evenly cut or distributed. and i'll leave the last of the pink lemonade in the fridge for her and drink water instead. and it's just, a weird complicated dynamic of "i love you like my own kid but also you are my sibling and we will have these sibling moments of getting on each other's nerves but i'm also always going to put you first in the things that really matter" and that's how i see the sibling dynamic from dean's POV really. and sometimes the show manages to show that dynamic but a lot of times it flops hard on getting the sibling-isms right and it's very frustrating lol

#not turning on rbs but i just wanna talk abt thee sibling dynamics ! #i feel like a lot of ppl just don't get it ?? esp if you don't have a sibling yourself or you're the younger sibling #OR you just have a normal non-parentified dynamic #like having an older sibling who just does stuff for you occasionally is not the same as having an older sibling who everyone including #your parents sees as a 'third parent' to them and who is treated like a parent and given parent responsibilities #and above all that IS emotionally thee main parental figure and the one ur sibling actually goes to when they need something #a lot of ppl will insist that ppl take the 'sam is dean's kid' stuff too far and that nooo they're brothers let them be brothers #but it's !!! complicated !!! when one of them is in a parentified role !!!!! #like i said w/ my own sister. we absolutely are siblings and have those sibling moments. most of the time we act like siblings #but there's always an undercurrent of. ok but she does come first in a lot of ways. and i'm responsible for her #which i think is something dean feels a lot and is actually like. the crux of their dynamic and why he constantly gives up so much #to follow his father's first commandment of 'look our for your little brother' #but crucially !! sam doesn't reallyyy see dean as his parent. he sees dean his annoying older brother. and that's where things clash a lot #between them. bc in *my* situation my sister also is aware of the parentification and we're gotten to the point were WE can joke abt it #but sam imo does Not see how dean is literally his main parental figure. bc john as his authoritarian father is so large in his mind #whew. lots of tags ajsfdkf maybe i Will have to make a proper post abt all this later but i just wanted to ramble my thoughts rn #vic.txt

[fortyfive-forty]

y'all are about to be aghast by the fic i've just written 😭

#~4000 words of something that originally was a joke and has turned into a very serious experiment in writing #but out of context it reads...very weirdly #i'm debating if i want to post it or not #because i feel like...idk i'm just self-conscious of how it will read if you don't see The Vision™ #you know? #or that ppl will just find the format arduous #but the format is the whole reason it was written you know! #i wrote it with the intention of trying out a different pov and It Fucking Worked #but now i'm like wow #i have 4000 words of undesirable nonsense #who am i kidding i'm gonna post it anyway #and just accept it won't be well read #that's fine by me it was fun to write

[ode2rin]

🥲

#if you bitches didn't announce to the whole dept #that i was the top of the batch #last sem #THEN I WOULDN'T FEEL THIS PRESSURED !!!!!!11 #don't look at me it was pure luck #now i feel like i have to keep it up or else #everyone's going to wonder what the hell went wrong #i'll tell you what's wrong #i'm literally a fucking kid who got thrown to a foreign place #because she was “smart” #look where that got me #i literally cry every night wanting to go home #pls pls just take me home #i hate it when ppl expect things from me #i'm gonna disappoint you so bad #don't ever think highly of me i'm barely getting by #good lord i want to go home. #i want to see my siblings #i want to see my mom #i don't wanna video call her #she keeps pointing how skinny i look #yeah that's because no fucking restaurant here offers your cooking #XD XD XD XD XD #LOOK AWAY THIS IS NOTHING I'LL BE FINE

[queen-scribbles]

.

#''i know i give anders shit but at least he's *interesting* carver just sucks'' #ma'am MA'AM #if you want to influence a companion so they like you better you have to USE THEM #you can joke about carver being an ass(he is) and say he sucks and never bring him along #BUT you're never gonna get friend/rivalry points to shift your relationship #it's possible to practically max his friendship in act one but you won't see that if you never bring him anywhere #doesn't help she's playing a sarcastic hawke so like #sure be dismissive and joke about his frustrations #that won't enforce his irritation at ALL #like a big part of why carver is the way he is is being an 18-19 year old KID who's had to give up what he wants for the good of the family #without even being asked his feelings on the matter #HIS WHOLE DAMN LIFE #he feels like his opinions don't matter and he has no control/choice in his own life #GOOD JOB REINFORCING THAT #i have a sneaking suspicion she's gonna wind up with templar!carver and that's just gonna exacerbate her opinion of him #it's just aggravating watching someone feed the self-fulfilling cycle #of ''carver sucks so i won't use him so our relationship stays static so carver sucks so-'' #carver is one of the most fascinating characters in the game and it makes me aklnfjsbfjksbdsjkdb when ppl miss that bc they knee-jerk #write off any comps who don't instantly kiss up to the protag without trying to figure out why they're like that :| #i stand by saying she's doesn't have to like him! i do! #it's just frustrating when half of the REASON she doesn't like him is something she could DO SOMETHING about and she ISN'T #max friend!carver is AMAZING and it makes me sad so few people actually get to see it #/sigh #/end rant #sorry #maybe i should just skip to act two in this stream >.> #(a note: mechanically speaking i get not using carver bc she's using fenris and they're the same role #but again. not using carver means no friend/rival gains so not changing the relationship)

[kyros-tha-soldier]

If you support the ongoing Human genocide in palestine, DRC and Sudan or you are a "nUWUtral cutie patootie oooooh i am so neutral I don't care 💅💅💅" type of person and STILL be a fan of one piece ...

Then I've got bad news for you

Your ass is reading too fast or you're too damn dumb to understand what the story is about. Either way get off the fandom and shut up forever

#If you don't like this post then boohoo I don't care #Human lives are precious no matter the color or gender or beliefs or religion #And that's what Oda is trying to show but some of y'all are very very dence and can't understand that #“B-But i enjoy it” yeah ok cool but you also automatically enjoy seeing people dead and seeing kids and civilians dying #I have been supporting the cause with my friends on my priv instagram and the amount of OP fans who are pro genocide like????? #Bitch get your shit together and go watch paint dry... Or don't; paint is too precious for your ass #“all lives matter” until it's about black people or native americans or Balkans or south asians or Inuit or Quechua or Homeless people or- #-Latin Americans or Arabs or Holocaust survivors or Central asians or chechens or Tatars or Rohingya or Uyghur- #I could go on forever! But y'all go “all lives matter” the moment a black person says “black lives matter” because let's be real for a sec. #You say “all lives matter” and you know DAMN well you don't give a single shit about those lives as long as they're not white #The hypocrisy is showing baby and it's on you if people hate your guts for it #Also... Support Palestinians by donating to Palestinian aid services; E-sims; Palestinian owned businesses and damilies ❤️ #Same goes for the Congolese and Sudanese ppl. Send them aid; donate; help the artists and people who speak for their cause and speak up ☝️🙏 #There are some very trusty organizations out there to help but I can't link them since I'm afraid some of them can turn out to be scammers #I'll try to find legit ones #As for anybody who wants to come and whine about me becoming “too political and whiny blah blah”- #You can eat shit for all i care 🤗🥰🤩 #Unfollow if you disagree I don't give a damn #free congo #save congo #DRC #I STAND WITH CONGO #FREE PALESTINE #غزة العزة #غزة حرة #فلسطين حرة إن شاء الله #جمهورية الكونغو الديمقراطية #الكونغو #السودان #Sudan

[subconsciousmysteries]

boomers n X'ers are mad that millennials Gen Z have woken up to all the child abusive norms in our society and we no longer give our parents respect just because they're our parents and teh bibble says so.

We also woke up to the fact that their politically passive and materialistic youth, where they took out a bunch of cheap usury loans and did nothing to stand up against central banking, has destroyed the economy for future generations. they have the audacity to call us lazy conspiracy theorists and essentially gaslight us for noticing such things.

A friend once told me she thinks that boomers and gen X are competing with their kids in this weird gross game to prove they're more successful and better, and I have to agree. They show no empathy for their own children's suffering, it's a generation full of casual and normalized narcissistic personality. I think this is a direct consequence of their culture which didn't encourage them to question their parents and see the humiliation and abuse they faced as children for what it is, unlike our culture today does. They actually believed that parents had kids out of virtue and selflessness and that the kids were obligated to repay the parents, not the other way around.

I notice a lack of individuation from the parents in most of Boomer and Gen X individuals. a "children must obey their parents" mentality. or... replace "obey" with "please" or "impress". Anyone with this mentality is primed for the narcissism demon. They will feel the constant need to prove themselves to the parents, to prove that they're successful and more worthy of praise, because in their eyes the parents can do no wrong and it is always their fault if the parent is abusing them or neglecting them. Then they project this gross mentality onto their children.

#Realizing I didn't have to obey was one step to liberation #Realizing I dont even have to please or impress or make them think anything good of me ever... is the final step #It's your job to adapt to the individual your child is #Provided they're not a monster who's hurting anyone #It's not their job to impress you and mold themselves to be something you'd like to see #Parenting is a chance for spiritual growth cuz it forces you to accept things as they are instead of how you want them to be #You must tell the difference between what is in ur power to change and what isn't #Otherwise you will cause great harm to your child #And you must expand your tolerance of diversity #Cuz your child could be anything ... Many such things which are not to ur tastes and which would trigger u as a small minded individual #Only ppl with expanded perceptions can be good parents. #Ie people who understand “conspiracies” and the importance of risk taking and don't flip out and Worry that their child is emo #And have a life outside of being a worrying parent to keep u going if ur child runs away or dies #Cuz there also comes a point in ur child's development where #(usually around 18+) #If ur giving them grief about their choices to risk death... for the reason that You don't want to see them hurt or killed #U are selfishly stifling their individuation process #For most older parents it's not about the kid's feelings and the kid's individuation #it's about me me me my feelings my fears my comfort my hysterical reactions #Regardless of how they hurt my child with said hysterias #Anyway .

[vegaseatsass]

Sam is more autistic coded in the present than in the past (her friends confirm it but the flashbacks don't), how could it be?

Anon, this is exactly why I call her autistic-coded and not just straight up autistic! Because I've noticed the same thing.

I would love to hear what other neuroatypical and specifically autistic folks have to say (to be clear: I'm the former not the latter, and really reaallly don't wanna speak over anyone!), and I'm not sure exactly what the text is going for, but for me there's definitely a masking/abusive behavior management narrative in what Sam's grandma does to her, and in the differences between what Mon saw in her as a kid and what she's like as an adult - except instead of Sam learning how to socialize/behave neurotypically, what her grandma instilled in her is a repressed non-expressiveness so that her resultant, masked behavior is what pings many of us as autistic/neuroatypical.

So it's almost like the real life direction of abusive behavior management and/or masking has been kind of flipped on its head? Adult Sam has learned to completely reconfigure how she expresses emotions at excruciating personal cost, but in the direction of being less interpretable by neurotypical people around her, and more familiar and recognizable to us neuroatypicals watching, instead of the opposite.

None of this means younger Sam and thus Sam herself CAN'T be straight up autistic - we definitely haven't seen enough of young Sam to know, Mon's memories seem to contradict Sam's friends' narration so who knows what's true, and there is so much more to autism than facial expressions - but certainly in Mon's recollection, Sam went from smiling naturally (and expressively-for-a-neurotypical-person) as a kid, to her forced fake smiles that terrorize the office. And Mon seems to bring the natural smiles back out, so regardless of whose memory of past Sam is correct, we know how Sam expresses happiness when she's not being pressured to produce a specific facial expression for other people, and it's very readable by any neurotypical person.

Like for ME Sam's textual story is one of abuse and trauma and repression, while the autistic story is in coding/subtext, but that autistic story is very very there, down to an arc about completely reconfiguring everything about how you hold your face or move your body or say your words at excruciating, exhausting personal cost, to satisfy your guardian and her determination of what society wants from you. Sam's arc feels autistic/neuroatypical, Sam's struggle to interpret everyone else around her and the blunt yet indirect/"inscrutable" ways she communicates feel autistic/neuroatypical, and I don't think there's a hard line between what's text and what's subtext. So for me, esp as a non-Thai viewer, there's so sooo much to read into and connect to about her, but I don't really have a clearcut grasp of what the text is saying about her yet.

EDIT: OKAY RIGHT AFTER THROWING THIS POST UP INTO THE ETHER it occurred to me that Sam's entire arc can be read as how abuse to try to force neurotypicality (and heterosexuality) on someone actually makes them infinitely less capable of functioning or socializing, fullstop. Like it's not that Sam expressed herself neurotypically as a kid but that she expressed herself naturally, and then her grandma came along and Fucked Her The Fuck Up and now all the things she's trying to do to meet expectations, from sexuality to neurotypicality, have left her absolutely chaotic socially/emotionally/sexually. Behavior Management DOES NOT WORK. Terrorizing your kids into straightness DOES NOT WORK. Look at queen Sam and reconsider your stupid, stupid fucking tactics, guardians of the world.

This is now my preferred reading! Apologies to anyone who had to read through the wall of text above to get to it kdlfjskdfsd I still wanna know what other folks (esp specifically autistic folks) think thooooo!

#i always call myself autism-adjacent because some ppl do think my dx is just a way of circumventing the autism stigma #when diagnosing kids who 'pass' better or wtfever #so i'm always really confused about how to talk about myself #but i have such a small piece of the most common autistic experiences so it's def good for me to NOT speak over other people regardless #very nervous about making this post b/c i don't want to spread any false shit or get taken as an authority in any way #so please feel free to rip my interpretation to shreds honestly lol i will NOT be offended!! #i'm just interested in what other folks are seeing and have to say #gap the series #asks #sam samanun anuntrakul

[trans-xianxian]

found out I don't have a fucking school year job anymore today 😐

#at the end of last school year my boss was like okay see you at the end of summer! #so I just sort of figured #but I texted her sunday just to check in and she finally got back to me today saying she's not hiring part time ppl #and is looking for ppl who can do prek and after care #which... I don't want to do #wish she'd fuckin told me sooner instead of a week and a half away from the beginning of the school year #its like stressful that I now need to find a job but I'm also just bummed out that I won't get to see my kids again #I was really excited to see them again actually and I'm just like. sad now #that job was so easy too I don't think I'll find another one like it #sigh. #ghost posts #text

[a9saga]

the gazette - daku // no idea what this song's about but it sounds really sexy

#yeah i spent 0 minutes thinking of what to post in the last week but i have been enjoying this a lot lately #i watched the premiere of bb25 last night and dickens kept honking his really loud screechy rubber chicken #so i hid the chicken and gave him his stinky (cow hoof) but then he kept dropping and throwing around his stinky really loudly and stinkily #he's just not a good guy to watch live tv with #i hope the white kid who wants to be a lawyer is evicted #im glad cory was dragged to the nether region #so is he not in the house? is cory not in fact in the house? where do you keep him? someone has to feed him #ive been awake since 5-6 am again #i got a post suggested on my dash of a bunch of random people some of which were decked in visual kei #most of them i did not recognize and neither did op supposedly #and at the bottom op tagged someone and mentioned that they've only heard like one gazette song and they don't know who they are #but they're so hot they keep looking at pictures of them and i was like... oohhhhhhh this makes nothing but sense #i feel like the only people i see talk about the gazette or its members are huge fans or so they seem #but i guess i also understand that if their big fans are obsessed with their looks then like.. random ppl.. #will also just find them really attractive. its the random person to vkei fangirl pipeline #if you're a random person here's a song rec from their last album for you #the gazette #song rec #j rock #tbt #visual kei #shut up kaily #Youtube

[beeseverywhen]

god the duality between 'I don't want someone in my house' and 'yeah I'd like my own kids and no way I'm doing that alone'

#like ppl who don't want kids should be free to live their lives without ppl being like 'watch out! your biological clock is ticking!' #that's bullshit ppl shouldn't say that. but also. i would like kids and #after so many years trying not to get pregnant and that seeming like a worst case scenario. so desperately wanting to not become my parents #now i am an age where I'd happily have a kid if i were in the right life situation & i don't feel I've got all the time in the world anymore #lol like. the space in between 'too young to have a baby' and 'old enough that i risk more health issues/ will be an older parent' #feels way way narrower than i ever would have assumed lol. esp. because all the parents in my family are so young. the idea of being an #older parent is so strange to me. I'm so aware of the things you can't do when you're older and how it's harder work to run after them #and like my body is already wearing out way faster than anyone elses. my health's only gonna get worse so. #being an older parent just doesn't seem an option. not to mention like. the older i am the less generations I'll get to see. #i want to be a great grandmother damnit. lol. #like I'm on a clock. to get over my commitment issues or it legit won't happen. but yeah. can't think of anything worse than having #to have someone in my house. if i was rich enough to have lots of space that's one thing but. I'm not lol. #and rich ppl rub me up the wrong way whenever they try and chat me up so doubt I'm gonna marry in to money looool #like i have come to terms with the fact that. if it doesn't happen it doesn't happen. id rather not get to be a mother than to settle #like that whole 'looking for a partner' dating life is not for me i can't think of anything worse. if it happens it happens #I'll either meet the right person who im willing to give up an empty house for or i won't looool #and it's not like im giving up the whole raising kids thing completely. #like I've got to play a significant hand in raising my siblings even if i didn't ask for that. I've got to see them grow and #help them reach those milestones. and whatever the circumstances I'm blessed to have had them in my life #even if i don't have my own kids I'm always gonna have kids in my life even if I'm an aunt rather than grandmother you know #I'm lucky to be in a family where raising kids is a communal thing. but yeah id love to have my own kids & have someone that looks like me #but I'm not willing to bring someone in to the world in non opportune circumstances deliberately. #like if it's up to me i want them to have 2 parents to look out for them and 2 parents that at least stand a chance of liking each other lol