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#and probably post in-between updates ^^
wu-does-art · 1 month
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thinking about Nico adjusting to letting himself miss and long for the people he loves. based on these bits from the sun and the star:
" As Nico and Will followed the trogs, he thought about how much he missed Hazel. He was learning to make peace with that feeling. It was okay for him to miss people because that meant he wanted them around in his life. That idea was *very* new for him- he was used to either pushing people away or watching them recoil from his presence." *
" That was the most surreal thing of all... Was he happy? Nico wasn't very familiar with the sensation, but he couldn't deny that he felt wonderful in Will's presence. He even longed for the son of Apollo when they were apart. A funny thing had happened as the two grew closer: Nico suddenly understood all those cheesy, sappy love songs he'd always hated."
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end-otw-racism · 11 months
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It's getting close to the end of day two, and we have some glorious stats for you, if you're curious!
On AO3:
There are 2,698 works that result if you search "end racism in the otw" in titles (some are locked, so you won't see them all unless you're logged in).
There are 829 works in the "EndOTWRacism" collection.
8 works in the collection are tagged as "meta."
10 works in the collection are tagged as "fanart."
13 works in the collection are tagged as "podfic."
47 works in the collection are tagged as "fanvids."
57 works in the collection were posted on or after the 16th (due to time zone differences, we're including the 16th as part of the start date of the initiative).
The most popular fandom in the collection is "Bad Buddy: the Series" with 36 works.
On Tumblr:
The Call to Action post has 4,428 notes.
This account has 679 followers.
Side note: we've received word that Tumblr is locking our posts behind a login wall, so we're looking at mirroring options elsewhere.
On Twitter:
The pinned post has 500 shares and 403 likes.
The account has 519 followers.
Overall:
The response and support from ALL OF YOU have been overwhelmingly positive, with only a handful of folks misinterpreting our intentions or spreading misinformation about us. We're grateful for everyone who's been brave enough to combat misinfo on our behalf, both here and on other sites, and would like to remind everyone to stay kind when coming to our defense. Link back to our Call to Action and FAQs whenever you need to.
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distortedmoondisc · 6 months
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Do you ever think about the parallels between Rinne and Aira
Not only they have a shared interest in protecting Hiiro and ensuring his well-being/growth as a person, (and it's extra interesting given how Aira sort of dislikes Rinne for how he dealt with Hiiro in general—by leaving him alone at their hometown and disowning him in the summer of the MDM—, so even though they have the same interests and goals regarding Hiiro, they aren't exactly friends nor like each other — though this is mostly from Aira's part, because Rinne does like Aira and even acknowledges him as someone important to Hiiro that he must keep in his life), but Aira kinda is what Rinne used to be, before his dreams of becoming an idol we're crushed by the new rules of ES.
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!! Main Story, Episode 171, "Revolution"
I've seen many people talk about how Rinne and Aira would get along because they're both idol otakus, but I believe that's a common misunderstanding of Rinne's character, because Rinne isn't an idol otaku (at least not anymore). He doesn't like the current idol system and the way Ensemble Square is running the industry. That's why he tried to change it by force in the !! Main Story by acting out. This is different from Aira, who loves the idols born from this system, and is a participant in the ES system that is going to hurt the industry in the long run (because ES is mass producing idols like a factory, stripping them from their own individuality and what makes idols especial in the first place — which is why Aira likes idols to begin with! Because they're different from ordinary people!)
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!! Main Story, episode 220, "Despair"
Aira is aware that the idol industry isn't perfect, in episode 171 he even acknowledges that the mass production of idols similar to items of consumption made in a factory is wrong and it strips idols from their beauty and value, but he doesn't have the insight and first hand experience with heartbreak as Rinne had, so he doesn't have the motivation to protest or change the way ES is running the industry. They both love idols and dreamed of becoming one, but Rinne isn't an idol otaku, because he can't be a fan of idols mass produced by the current system.
What Rinne does instead, is support underground idols that would otherwise be trampled or forced to disappear by ES because they don't fit their sets of standards (and because ES has monopoly in the idol industry, they can easily do this without much repercussions or public outcry) and gives them his protection. This is explained throughout the course of the story of Night Club.
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Nigh Club, Epilogue 2
Aira tries to impersonate an ideal idol persona, as the ones he watched when he was younger. He wants to embody a model idol and inspire others as idols inspired him in the past. Rinne used to be similar, but ES arbitrarily destroyed his solo career making him lose that dream, and that's why he embodies the wild and rebellious persona he portrays on stage, which is a complete opposite to how a traditional idol should act (and this is a constant point of conflict between him and other idols, such as Himeru; Himeru tends to scold Rinne for being so wild and doing whatever he wants because it goes against what is expected of an idol, but in Night Club he comes to understand that this is Rinne's soft way to protest against ES, despite having lost to them in the first part of the !! Main Story).
(Sometimes, I wonder if Rinne is happy being the wild and playful self he is with Crazy:B, or if he would prefer to be on stage as an ideal idol like he used to do years ago....)
However, despite their differences and the dislike/intimidation Aira might feel towards Rinne, he admits he understands his feelings and where he comes from, and that he can't help but to relate to him due to the fact that they both love idols. Aira scolds Rinne in episode 220 "Despair" to make him stop his pity party, but later in episode 224 "Flutter" he comforts and encourages him instead—telling him that he should not give up being an idol, because he recognizes that Rinne loves idols as much as he does, and that he still has a reason to live because he has fans of himself and of Crazy:B waiting for him among the crowd, meaning that he is still loved and accepted by someone, despite all the wreckage he had caused.
(And if I'm allowed to get personal for a moment, I just need to make emphasis in how important Aira is to the development of the Amagi brothers in the last arc of the !! main story, and this scene is a perfect example of that. Aira is the one who encourages Rinne to join the others on stage and sing, and after that it is Hiiro that pushes Rinne to give that step which finally leads them to perform on stage together 🥹)
So as we can see, Rinne and Aira have a lot of similarities, but they act in completely different ways due to their circumstances. They have similar backgrounds as idol lovers but they have different views and feelings about the industry and the profession, (however, they seem to share the same ideals as to what an idol should be, and love the same type of ideal idol inside their hearts). Adding to that their shared most beloved person, Hiiro, and how the two of them want what's best for him but they have a point of contention due to Rinne's bad actions in the !! Main Story, and their relationship becomes x10 more interesting, and I wish we talked about it more!
And we know Happyele hasn't forgotten about them, because Aira appeared in Rinne's recent relationship chart, just below Hiiro.
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(also, a little unrelated, bu i think it's funny that despite having a heart to heart at the ending of the main story, their relationship is still "want to tease him" and "he's a little scary" ahdks Aira, who scolded Rinne in front of hundreds of people in the MDM, regressed to feeling intimidated and troubled by him. A couple of friends commented that it was probably because Aira had a burst of courage in the MDM because of the severity of the situation, so he had the determination to call out Rinne, a senior that he particularly feels intimidated by, publicly without second thought. It is canon that after the fact, Aira admitted that looking back on the MDM he felt embarrassed for doing such a bold thing. Idk, it's just something i find very interesting and fun about their dynamic www)
So this leads me to believe that they haven't forgotten about the history these two had in the main story, and all I can do is just wait for them to expand on their relationship and dynamic more eventually in some future event.
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holocene-sims · 5 days
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very delayed and minor story update
hiiii
i kind of dropped off the face of the earth, especially in terms of everything the stars promised! i was out of town weeks ago when the last few posts went up from the queue, and then i haven't really been around too much to update the links and all, but...
that said, my plan is to update the navigation links and also not-tzr-but-also-kind-of-tzr the last few posts, even though it's been a while, just because i'm trying to be better about the whole tzr thing!
outside of that, i'm not sure when i'll be able to post more actual story content. i have about three posts in my drafts, but i'm graduating in may, and i'm down to the last month and a half-ish of college, so i'm short on free time to write and play sims. it's basically crunch time irl while i wrap up my senior thesis. but we'll see - i might drop the updates i already have finished soon, and then i'll post more when i have the time!
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bleaksqueak · 1 month
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Woah dang, waking up to 99+ notifs on tumblr almost always means that an old Homestuck piece is going around again... imagine my delighted surprise to see it was all notifs about Soli! That was a great thing to wake up to. Felt an actual flutter in my chest. Thank you so much, everyone! And apologies for how Elias' hair keeps subtly changing. You always kind of figure out exactly how a character looks and how to draw them as you go along with sequential art. It, funny enough, largely comes from figuring out their acting (so lots and lots of different angles and features that need to shift/change slightly to carry the weight of looking like they should feel, for lack of a better way to describe it ) At any rate, glad to see people are excited for chapter 3! next update will be next week, and will be a two page spread.
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muiromem · 15 days
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Just realized that next month marks 1 year since I first posted my currently in-progress Star Trek: Voyager OT3 fanfic to AO3.
That feels insane to me??? Has it really been that long???
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lilpuffyart · 4 months
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Talking about refs!! I'm gonna redo the previous ones (at least Narinder's and Sisyphus') but I'll work on the bishops as well!! At leastttt Leshy's
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gibbearish · 5 months
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it is with a heavy heart that i must announce. the five nights at freddy's movie was really good
sorry for how much of a behemoth this post is im fnaf autism just bear with me also i can't keep my thoughts straight for the life of me so this will be a bumpy ride. as an additional note i got very lucky and had literally 0 spoilers whatsoever for this movie, i haven't even seen the trailer
so first of all: i thought all the changes they made to the plot to make it work for a movie were good decisions, altho some of them did take a minute to actually feel like good changes lmao. once i thought about em a bit more though they made sense.
one of the things i really liked was that they also did include a lot of the things i wanted them to, or more specifically things that you're like "you literally can't have a fnaf movie without these, it just wouldn't be right", like we got mike schmidt, we got fucking VANESSA??? altho she might be in the trailer so that might not be the same reveal for yall as it was for me but still. they heavily alluded to vanny? (altho that's a part i'm kinda sad abt is they didn't /actually/ include vanny, vanessa just makes an offhand comment about how she "wouldn't be much help" if she was around afton and then. comes to help anyways and doesnt have any issues? lame they shouldve had him hypnotise her and then she fought her way out to help mike and abby. or alternatively they couldve used the family restructuring to make vanny be a result of afton giving vanessa osdd-2, like thats kinda functionally what he does with the mask anyways but this would make it more obvious).
also swinging back to changes they made that i liked!! VANESSA AFTON?? like this is the one that took me a while to get used to bc it feels like such a cliche from an outside perspective but it also kind of Super Isn't considering what the original plot is? like all the family restructuring they did makes pretty good sense to me, i do think it loses a bit of the weight having michael be Just Some Guy Whose Brother Happened To Be Kidnapped By Afton Forever Ago and now coincidentally has this weird guy offering him a job as a night guard, but also the og lore. absolutely would not fit into a movie lmao. so i like that they kept the characters everyone wanted around while also rearranging it to keep the spirit of "learning about all of this for the first time through the eyes of a security guard" you get from playing the games. it's fun for people who don't know the lore because it's easy to follow and it's fun for people who /do/ know the lore because they can pull apart all the differences.
oh right back to things they included that i wanted them to. we gotttt chica's cupcake murdering people, we got FUCKING MATPAT? SAYING THE ITS JUST A THEORY LINE? SOUNDING THRILLED OFF HIS ASS TO BE THERE??? i dont like the man and his opinions vis a vis addressing nonbinary characters but. goddamn was that a funny cameo. why couldnt you include markiplier too you fucking cowards. who said that. anyways. oh we kind of tangentially have a canon name for crying child? aka garrett? like idk this one could go either way because like. yeah he's mike's younger brother that died tragically and scarred him for life, makes sense that theyd be the same character in function but also it is technically a different family so who knows.
umm what else. oh this doesnt rlly fall into either category i just really liked it, the intro sequence for all the animatronics? showing what they can /really/ do with the breaking and entering dudes?? that was such a cool sequence i really liked the whole thing honestly. chica being introduced in the kitchen and the dude finding the cupcake then looking back and it's gone? bonnie in the supply closet? foxysprint??? AND FREDDY!! THE BITE!!! in case anyones reading this before watching the movie so they know what to expect: youll know when this moment is coming and if youre watching it at home with friends i HIGHLY recommend having the "was that the bite of 87" clip ready to play right after, they WILL lose their shit. i had it queued up from the very beginning of the movie cause i was like. they can't not include it /somehow/, it's the fnaf movie there has to be A Bite. and sure enough. oh also it's not at the same time but the golden freddy reveal is really good too, they did a good job of setting it up so even if youre already aware of golden freddy conceptually you still go "oh freddy's here? i mean i guess that makes sense he's the leader and all. or wait what happened to his eye why's he only got one? oh. oh i see. ohohohohohohohoho" 100/10. also very funny that they just straight up. MURDER THE AUNT? AND SHE NEVER GETS MENTIONED AGAIN SHE JUST IS DEAD??? the kid isnt like. hey what happened to aunt jane?? i get none of them liked her and with good reason but youd think at least one of em would be like "damn she sucked but she didnt deserve that, rip jane"
oh and the springlocks of course the springlocks. like as soon as we saw aftons name in the cast list we all knew he was gonna get springlocked, it's such a cherished memory for so many of us and there's no way in hell The Fnaf Movie™ wouldnt include afton getting springlocked, they just legally can't leave that out. and they do it pretty well too like yeah if you know what's gonna happen you can see it coming way ahead of time and it's kind of a slow crawl to get there but like. idk i think it still works pretty well. i don't personally like how long the actual springlocking itself took, i think they couldve milked that a little bit less cause i was under the impression that if one springlock failed they All Would Instantaneously And Your Flesh Body Will Become Occupied By A Full Endoskeleton. but no we just get very slow rib beartrap. w/e though still cool and again the leadup to it was really good even knowing exactly how it would end, like just the really slow shuffling of the animatronics towards him? like yeah it's slow and kinda tedious but its also like. theres literally nothing you can do, youre surrounded and defenseless and theyre infinitely faster and stronger than you and now they remember that you killed them. and you just have to sit there and watch them slowly slowly get closer all while trying to talk your way out of it knowing youre fucked. 10/10 they did that part well
oh and that also falls under changes i liked, i liked that instead of "afton tries to escape intangible ghosts by getting into old decrepit suit which then fails and kills him" it was "afton was already in the suit to do murders in and has brainwashed the bots to follow him" wait omg point postponed i just realized that part is from security breach. i thought vanessa was the only thing they brought over from that i didnt even notice that they werent doing the theyre-attacking-all-adults-indiscriminately thing goddamn. omg wait and the fact that the restaurants already closed in this one, it really is just a blend of all the games huh. scott do you see how much more coherent your plot couldve been if there wasnt So much going on. anyways. back to what i was saying. instead of "afton tries to escape intangible ghosts by getting into old decrepit suit which then fails and kills him" it was "afton was already in the suit to do murders in and brainwashed the ghosts into thinking he was their friend so they would help him do murders while possessing the robots. then they get their memories back and the robots turn on him and.. i think deliberately? set off the springlocks, or were just aiming to regular kill him and the springlocks failing was a happy accident? then the robots drag him away as they keep slowly one by one collapsing into him", like the first one made a lot of sense for the game and the timeline and the second one just feels right for this too. it's still his hubris that kills him, still his springlocks, it's just in one version the hubris is "trusting his springlock design to still work after however many years" and in the other its "thinking he has conplete control over the ghosts he killed", plus the ghosts finally get a bit more direct participation in his death than in the other version lol.
one change i did not like. forced het romance. like i dunno i guess im happy for them, both of those characters have certainly earned happy endings by this point so its nice they can get something cutesy. but also. like cmon man it's vanessa and mike do we have to do this she just got stabbed stop holding her hand
oh also this change wasnt really good or bad i just thought it was funny, vanessas a full on cop now? like i get they prolly just dont wanna have two security guards or something but i mean. it wouldve been really easy to just say she was the day shift guard? thatd explain why she had more information on the bots and the place's history than him, why she's always Around, it wouldve even flowed into the vanessa afton reveal pretty well too because like. yeah obviously a guy doing murders would want his main security guard to be someone he trusts and who better than his theoretically brainwashed daughter yknow? as it was she just kinda Showed Up Knowing Stuff And Ignoring Questions and later afton's like "you were supposed to be keeping an eye on him" but like of course Mike was getting dodgy about the weirdo cop loitering nearby for no reason, thats sus as hell lmao. vs "experienced security guard here to show you the ropes" he would have a much easier time trusting that she actually did have his best interests at heart. idk it just seemed like a weird change to me lmao
ummm oh my roommate pointed out the fact that when they tried to springlock abby the suit they were aiming for looked suspiciously like circus baby and abby and baby are anagrams so thats fun. it's hard to tell though if shes intended to be a rework of elizabeth or if vanessa's filling that role now. cause like on the one hand, michael's younger sister whose name is v close to baby, on the other hand, vanessa is afton's daughter. so idk i feel like it could go either way. if abby's elizabeth i guess that negates the thing about garret maybe being crying child's name bc then theyd prolly just be keeping mike's name the same. w/e
oh my god i completely forgot when i was talking about changes to the afton springlock thing, they had him deliberately put his mask on after the other springlocks started releasing and say the "i always come back" line, i thought that was an excellent touch. like he's actively dying a horrific death and is like. no no. im not leaving this bot. this shit is going to suck ass no matter what so i might as well do all i can to ENSURE my soul gets locked in this fuckin thing, go on stab me in the brain lets do this. i will however also say that having him say "i always come back"... before he's even come back the first time? is a little bit weird, i know thats another one of the "we have to include this in the fnaf movie" things so im not mad but just in the moment it def flows a bit weird. like mf you don't even have one example of that yet much less several to be saying "always" about
OH AND THE BIGGEST ONE. THE ANIMATRONICS. theyre so good. like im so glad they went all in on that, i think they probably knew that if there was one single thing they had to get absolutely 100% right to avoid a fan uprising it was those and by god did they deliver, theyre so big and so unsettling and so fun. chica's wink at abby was the best part of the movie no questions asked. or alternatively bonnie falling over after they built the fort. like theyre all just so good. OH MY GOD OR IN CHICA'S INTRODUCTION SEQUENCE WHERE YOU CAN SEE HER JUST. SCOOTING BY THROUGH THE VENT?? THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST THING OF ALL TIME HELLO???
god. but yeah i was honestly expecting it to be a lot worse than it was. also this mike is a bad brother/dad figure. but i guess in the games he also kind of is the pinnacle of bad brother so i mean it couldve been a lot worse. theres definitely some rough parts, i mightve mentioned this already but i felt like a few of the dramatic pause things were a bit too drawn out, like i said the springlocks locking is one good example of that but another that i REALLY found slow was like. in the opening we watch a guy get turbomurdered by the swirly blade mask and it takes. way longer than i feel like was necessary. also unnecessary: a jumpcut a second from scared eyes to swirly blades to hands fumbling and repeating during that. oh another thing that was weird to me, why was mike so insistent on sleeping specifically at night? to the point of deliberately sleeping on the job? like i get he wanted to revisit the kidnapping dream but like. presumably he could dream just as well during the day, no? done his night shift then once it was up rolled out a sleeping bag for a quick powernap before heading home? idk that just felt. forced to me
more random things, i am sad we didnt get a whiff of henry emily (my fringe theory was that their twist to change it from the games was they were gonna make henry be evil, rip to that idea) or the puppet/charlie, and kinda sad they changed the kid possessing golden freddy to be a boy like. we love cassidy and her Undying Rage Towards Afton's Soul smh why would you get rid of her. also loved balloon boy, kinda wish mangle had gotten like a similar level appearance but thats w/e. oh also while i did appreciate the low gore level there were also a few times where it was a bit weird how minor the injuries the dead people had were. like this man just had his face put in a blender mask and he just has like. some forehead gashes or whatever? he should look like someone stirred up jello
anyways with that gross thought i think i am out of things to say about the movie for now. if anyone else watched it already and somehow read all of this blease tell me your thoughts
#the stuff under the cut contains major spoilers so reader beweader#this post is also gonna be rambley as hell so like. strap in#update after finishing it: it is indeed very rambley and also long as hell so see again: reader beweader#fnaf movie spoilers#five nights at freddy's movie spoilers#fnaf spoilers#five nights at freddy's spoilers#fnaf#fnaf movie#my roommate said they heard they were aiming to make 3 moves total and if i had to guess#i would say the other movies will probably hit fnaf 3 and then pizzaria simulator#obviously with some massive changes to the plot regarding timelines and just resolving general world changes#but i do feel like those encapsulate the main big points of afton's arc#aka 1) getting springlocked‚ 2) being springtrap (potentially in fazbear frights and i think that would be a really cool movie#but really the location doesnt really matter so much as the He's Been Woken Up And Is Hunting Someone#and then 3) getting his ass sent to ghost hell by henry. frankly i would be happy if they just ripped his final monologue#straight from the game and didnt even rerecord it it's just so iconic#like id want them to include security breach too somehow but. the timelines gonna get real condensed real fast then#it already would be if they include 3 isnt there like 30 years between aftons death and that one? so the part thats#originally set in 2050????? yeah thatd take some serious rearranging#hmm although i am now in my head thinking of something. abt the location not mattering as long as#springtrap wakes up and hunts someone. what if they did that /in the pizzaplex/ instead of in a horror attraction#or maybe for a horror installation there#idk im just rambling more now but i think thatd be a cool way to combine those parts#oh sorry technically that thing abt afton getting springlocked is technically a spoiler#but i mean come on we all knew that was gonna happen
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polarisbibliotheque · 5 months
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Updating by writing you guys this huge post. I mean it, it's really long xD
Heeey-ho!
I know, I know, I couldn't keep my Halloween promise T-T
Tha Halloween gods are now shouting at me "HOW COULD YOU?!"
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Die Halloween gods, slowly coming after me - black and white edition
As it has happened before, I'll be posting both Dante and Vergil's part during november. I'm still working on them, so it might take a while. Do apologise.
They will be here, just with a little delay. I do think Halloween should last more than just a few days, so screw it, until Christmas, it's still legal to celebrate Halloween at the Bibliothéque \o/
Now, now, for those who don't like too much talking, I'll be explaining a little bit below why I'm taking so long. Feel free to skip it if you don't want to read it, no worries ;)
(There's a "conclusion and TL;DR for those who don't want to read this whole novel" in pink down there if you want to scroll down to that point!)
As *not* expected, my health took a crazy downturn. I know I say it all the time, but hell, I've no idea what gives this time. I literally stopped everything. I spend most of the day in pain and the rest of it sleeping. That's it.
I have an appointment with my doctor next week, but I'm not too much hopeful. Last exams showed I have two ulcers - which means scarring and bleeding in the stomach - that can be literally anything.
Not gonna lie, I'm pretty worried it can be something worse than I was expecting, although it never even appeared to exist before, but well... My anxiety isn't exactly logic.
Secondly, as you guys might not know, I'm graduated in Law, worked as a lawyer for 5+ years before having a burnout and all those health issues (yeah, yeah, don't do what I've done, all that sort of thing). But something you don't know, and honestly probably only my close family knows and cares about, is that my graduation thesis was "The Conflict of Israel x Palestine and International Law".
I researched it for 3 years before defending my thesis, got a college prize for it, the professor who mentored me made a huge speech on how I proved "we women can do it on academia and research" and that my work was really nice. I'm not saying all this 'cause I'm boasting, I'm just saying I know what I'm talking about (because you know, who has never met a man who thinks their opinion is better than yours "just because" while you have a fucking huge CV on research and graduated with honors on the same matter but, somehow, you can't beat the opinion he just pulls out of his ass?).
All of this to say, I'm devastated by what's going on. This is more than politics to me. This was my thing, you know? I had a dream, stupid ~promising young woman~ dream of doing something with my intelligence to actually help people. To actually stop massacres of happening. I wanted to work at the UN, I wanted to speak with world leaders, to show people how much I can research and how much basic human rights matter so horrid things cannot happen ever again.
When the war broke and the bombings started, I followed the news. And then the news weren't reliable anymore. I started digging to find the truth - and hells, the truth is ugly and bloody. I think that's when all those last shards of dreams came crashing down. I thought I could do something, you know? Actually do something. But in the end, my parents were broke, I had to work to help at home, I kept sending my CV to the UN but I was never enough, and I just wasted my energy and health under the boots of someone who had more power and influence than me to break me and kill my career before it even started.
I felt so horribly powerless. So horribly broken. It seems stupid, but everything that is going on out there fells personal to me, I have history with it. And it broke me. Completely. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't force myself to at least watch the horrible things going on and try to like/share so the algorithm can make it reach other people.
That's all I can do.
You know, I have a lot of Vergil in me. For the things I wrote, I think you all can see I have a thing of "I never want to feel pain again and I want power so no one can never hurt me again" - that's why I think I want to kick his ass every time I see this fucking man being so emotionally constipated and ruthless because of his trauma. It's a way to protect himself, burning every path so he never feels powerless again - and I guess we all HATE to see the parts of our own personalities we hate the most in someone elese
So yeah. I know things took a dark turn on this one, but I decided to be honest with you guys - since I'm owing so many updates: the 2 Halloween fics, Nemesis and Survivor's Blood. I'm not really well currently, and only the gods know how much effort I'm making to keep it together... At least a little bit.
Physically, I'm like V. And I'm not even trying to be funny, every time I see that lil' goth twink I want to yeet him away because, hell, I'm MAD I see myself in him (mind you, I used to be more on Dante's side of the fitness spectre xD) - and not only regarding fitness, but tiredness. Falling apart. It's so... Harrowing. I think that's the word that fits the feeling better.
Mentally, I'm Vergil. I don't want to, I want to beat him with a stick, I want to yell at his face and kick his stupid ass, but damn. I get it. That crippling fear of not wanting to feel powerless again, to have people abuse you? The feeling you're trapped in your own body? The "feelings bring only pain and suffering"? The terrifying dread of discovering you failed at everything even with all your talents and never wanting to admit it? Check all of those. I hate you Vergil, but I get you.
I'm trying, though. I use writing as a coping mechanism and as a way to resolve many things mentally, but the last months have felt SO overwhelming I went back to my paralysed state of not being able to do anything and running away from things that remind me of all THAT.
You guys might be alarmed, but there's no reason to be, though. This is a ~moment~ I'm going through and I just need to sort it all out. I'm starting to get some warning signs of numbness, vivid nightmares of past issues, the paralysis, avoidance - but I've been there before. I just haven't figured out a way to pull myself together and I don't even remember how I did that once, so it might take me some time.
I don't know why, I had some sort of weird ~boost~ while thinking in the shower today, and I might know how to give the small steps to start getting back on track and gaining that momentum I need. This weekend I had to convince my mom to celebrate her birthday 'cause she's my Samwise Gamgee carrying me up Mount Doom and she wasn't in a mood to do so - therefore on monday, I have some things in mind to discuss with her and, hopefully, things will slowly go back to their place.
Conclusion and TL;DR for those who don't want to read this whole novel hahaha
THAT BEING SAID: I'm really sorry I can't deliver everything I wanted to you, guys. I didn't expect life to get so much more fucked up than it already was, but here we are. I just have to get used to the new pace of things, but it might take a while. My output of writing will be slow, but hey, after I can get out of that paralysis phase, I'll probably be writing more and posting more - 'cause I really, really love this. With all my heart.
(also, if you people see me active on my drawing thing, posting a bunch of things, it's 'cause I'm finally getting to look at all the art I've done but never posted and actually updating it and putting my art blog to some use I haven't in a while - I won't be creating new stuff. All old stuff I procrastinated as HELL and those will be some of my small steps to get out of this rut)
Now, as a last thing, I intend to use a video from a guy I always watch on youtube as some sort of guiding light in these trying times hahahaha but seriously, he has some really sound advice and he is so down to earth. Maybe someone who's going through some fucked up times can use his advice as well and unfuck their life too :)
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That's it. I felt like I needed some raw honesty today. Like I said, small steps. This is part of it hahahaha
I hope you guys understand. There's nothing I love more than writing, creating something for people - and all of this, everyone I met here and every single person that uses their time, which is the most precious thing we have, to read something I wrote gives me the greatest gift I can be given. You guys have no idea how much I appreciate you and how much I don't want to disappoint you.
So thank you. I will work slowly and I will need some time to get my shit together, but I'll always be here. I'll update everything I need and won't leave you hanging but you know... It's like Dracula Daily. It starts in April and finishes by the end of the year, taking time to put the letters together.
Aaaaand, if you read Lord of the Rings, the whole adventure takes a year. We are very much conditioned to be given content constantly to keep algorithms happy, but I do have a view that humans (and art for that matter) can't keep up with being content.
Zygmunt Bauman said we live in liquid times, and made the theory that everything is liquid nowadays (for people who like sociology and philosophy, I highly recommend his books, I love him with all my heart), so we're not really used to things that are a little more... Constant. Earthy, perhaps. Slow, stable, never leaving.
I try my best to be like that, not like a liquid, inconstant, fleeting presence. I want the things I do to be part of something that will stay, and I like being someone that stays - and doesn't just flow away because everything has to be fast and ever moving nowadays. The Bibliothéque is to be like that, I think, a place that no matter what, you can come back after ten months and you'll still find me here, drinking some tea and writing stuff. And I'll be happy to see you again, for as much as you can or would like to stay :)
kinda like Dante in his lil' shop :')
That's it. Thank you for reading me mumbling nonsensically in order to tell you I will keep updating my fanfiction, even if at a slow pace HAHAHAHAHAHA
Hope you guys have a fine weekend and a good next week! I'll be always lurking around, but the creation process will be a bit slow.
Will still be here to mumble randomly about DMC and scream random things in the void though :D
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*me getting ready to tackle life for the next months, going like "still heeeeeeeeere bitch!!"*
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And I'd like to add that I searched for "Obi Wan" on GIFs to find some sassy defying mood too add here and one of the first hits was this:
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I'll leave you guys on this note 'cause I'm still wheezing about it, it's so friggin' on point I can't EVEN
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tellmegoodbye · 5 months
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considering taking a major break from everything rn, I've been talking about my fic for a while and my mental health has just been so shit lately that I haven't been able to work on it at all. I think I'm going to take a break from tumblr altogether and revisit this later
#I just need to focus on some things in my personal life#and after this fic (which will be posted eventually- I promise...I'd just rather it be good than be rushed)#I think I'm going to have to make some major decisions about tumblr and social media as a whole#my depression has been dogshit so that's kind of why I've been so absent lately#I'm not looking for sympathy or anything I'm very seriously considering leaving for good so.....yeah#that also means deleting discord and just getting rid of fandom from my life in terms of the social media aspect#I'll still be on ao3 and I'll still write but tumblr and social media as a whole causes me way too much anxiety#anyway if you're looking for an update on push coda...if I find the motivation sooner rather than later it will be up in november#but right now the plan is to step away and come back to it in december when I'm hopefully doing a little better and can think more clearly#there's just too much going on rn between finding a new therapist and applying to uni that I haven't been able to focus#so that's pretty much all I have to say#if I dissapear completely that just means I've deleted tumblr (as in the app...my blog isn't going anywhere)#I'll pop back up from the dead whenever I finish my fic and then after that I'll probably just switch to being on ao3 only#I think it's about time I left tumblr behind sadly#if this is just my depression talking then I'll delete this and pretend nothing ever happened#right now I just need time away from it all to really think about everything#I'm not going to do anything impulsive#but right now it is looking like this is a change I need to make in my life#har rambles
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towerofgiraffes · 2 years
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a while back i asked for destiel fics where castiel punches john winchester in the face and i received the following recs:
Fuck Around and Find Out by lizstiel
oh sooner or later it all comes down to faith by sobsicles
It's a Small World (aka the Worst Ride at Disneyland) by ireadhpinenochian
psalm 40:2 by unicornpoe
but this is not nearly enough to satisfy my hunger for castiel punching john winchester in the face. i would like more fics, please.
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shunohoney626 · 1 year
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play space
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if you've ever seen my lp's (which feels like back in the day, now) then you might be saying... fallon? fallon fallon? fallon carter, fallon? #TheCarterFive fallon? more like the carter seven now, but yes. that fallon. #TheChaoticCarters
the carters are coming to dosr. *air horns*
if you don't know, now you knowwww.
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that damn isabelle. can there really be love without chaos? not in family dynamics.
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the bambinos are grownnnn now. 😭
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like, grown grown. 😭😭😭😭
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big sis approves, lil reese. big sis approves.
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big sis (and would be heir) got her a bheeda.
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and a baby. hey, midwife! see you soon, girl.
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pocketramblr · 7 months
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ok i updated truthteller are you poll takers happy
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chiscribbs · 9 months
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Small update: Full plot overview of Disconnected is almost completely finished <3  Well, the first draft, at least 
Next, I plan to simplify it into an outline and make a list of which scenes will get illustrated! :>
I already have a few specific ones in mind, but I want to try and keep them at least mostly chronological when posting, so that it’s easier to follow.
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adara-writer · 11 months
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Okay so chapter 9 currently has 800 words and I'm going to keep working on it tonight and maybe see about posting it tomorrow! My ideal update schedule is every 3 days (which would be tomorrow) but obviously that can't always happen. Also yes I do have two finals tomorrow but I'd just post in the time in between them so it's fineeeee
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sureuncertainty · 1 year
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alright personal post time related to the last post i reblogged
soooo i’m a system! i’ve known this for quite some time now (since the beginning of the pandemic actually) but haven’t been able to be super open about it for a LOT of reasons. however we’ve become more comfortable talking about it and i’ve decided to open up about it on here bc this is something that is a (obviously) big part of our life and there are very few places where we can be open about it and this is one of those places where we can be a bit more vulnerable. 
i just reblogged a post that goes into more detail about plurality itself, aka multiplicity, being a system, etc. which essentially just means multiple people sharing a body. specifically we have a form of OSDD, which is a dissociative disorder, but not the only way to be plural (and tbh i think we might be plural even without the OSDD we’re not 100% sure) plurality is a HUGE range of experiences and no two systems are fully alike, i kinda see it like neurodivergence where it’s just like... a form of existence that’s relatively normal just not talked about much
unfortunately, there’s also a very high population of gross sysmeds on tumblr (a big reason why I kept this part of my identity hidden for awhile) so if you, my follower reading this, are one of them, pls just block and move on i’d rather not argue our existence with you thanks byeeee (sysmeds or system medicalists basically believe that systems have to exist in a certain way to be “valid” or real, like having a certain amount of Trauma(tm) or being diagnosed with a specific kind of disorder, or having X symptom, etc. which is not true)
BUT ANYWAY as for what that means for us and our blog, here are some things about our system we’d like you all to know:
- we don’t REALLY have a system name (we kinda go by Rain but that’s still a placeholder) but will answer to whatever. Win works for all of us as well. Percy, myself (the one writing this) am the person you probably already know, and am pretty much always fronting at any given time, so you can assume that i’m here most of the time.
- i use i/me pronouns a lot too bc it’s easier and more comfortable, especially since i’m basically always around. sometimes we mean it in a collective sense (which yes i know is not grammatically correct but whatever we can do what we want)
- most of our system members are, as you might have already guessed, introjects of my OCs. any OC that I’ve spent any amount of time rambling about on here most likely exists as a fully formed person in our system and are the main headmates who I interact with on a daily basis
- we also have some fictives (introjects of fictional characters) of characters that are not OCs but none of them are currently active in our system
- our frequent fronters (headmates that are around a lot or at least often enough that you’ve probably interacted with them at least a bit if we’re friends) include me, Percy, my bestie Avery (fronting a LOT of the time, we’re basically cohosts at this point), Nyx, Kat, Roma, Emma, and Angel! (and more of our characters, but those are the most actively involved in our day to day life)
- feel free to say hi to any of my headmates if you’d like! in fact, we’d all love that!! we’re not very out as plural so it’s nice to have more people see us as who we really are, instead of just as characters who don’t really exist. it also helps us with distinguishing between ourselves bc we get hella blurry sometimes. Just keep in mind that they are not just characters but real actual people with their own thoughts, feelings, likes, dislikes, personalities, etc, and even though you might “know” them from reading things I’ve posted here about them, they don’t necessarily know you (although they might know who you are if we’re friends, especially if i know you irl)
all that to say, this is NOT an open invitation to come into my inbox with invasive questions, in fact, we’ll probably be closing anonymous asks for a bit preemptively just in case (we should be opening them again later). if we are friends/mutuals, feel free to DM me if you’d like to talk about it more or have questions. if we are strangers please do not do that lol. okay i think that’s it byeeee
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