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#and probably the day after if i end up binging into the night
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-cuddles!-
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featured character ☆ itoshi sae
tag(s): fluff! ☆
apologies if this is out of character.
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        No joke, period cramps hurt a lot. What's included in the monthly cycles are also mood swings, you're definitely ten times extra sensitive when it's that time of the month. Well today, you woke up quite late, maybe around eleven o'clock or so. Next to the wooden night stand, there's a white envelope. You take it and gently ripped off the cute little pink heart sticker on it. Then, you reached for the folded white piece of paper. The note read;
༊*·˚
Y/n, you probably woke up to see this note by the nightstand. Around this time I'm probably not home. I may come home around nine o'clock, do whatever you'd like for the whole day. As always, I love you.
-Sae
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        You smiled reading the note and the "I love you" that Sae wrote down in black ink. After being fully awake (maybe lying in bed for an extra 10 minutes), you straightened the bed sheets and comforter then started feeling hungry and so, you headed down to the kitchen and made some breakfast. After eating some toast with avocado and eggs, you decided to take a shower and do some skin care. Finally, you just plop on the navy blue sofa and decided to just binge watch Tales of the Nine Tailed since it seemed interesting. You got your phone and scrolled on Twitter to see if there's anything new. Maybe after one or two episodes of Nine Tailed, you got sudden cramps. It felt extremely agonizing to the point where you thought you were on the verge of death. So now change of plans. For the entire day you're not going to be binge watching some k-drama but you're simply just going to wrap yourself in a blanket, tightly clench on your stomach while lying on the couch, play dead, and wait for Sae to come home. 
༊*·˚ around 9 o'clock
        You hear the keys jingling and the sound of a door opening and closing. "I'm home" Sae calls out but it was dead silent. "Saeee..." you whine. Sae heads over to the couch and sees you lying down, wrapped in a white fluffy blanket. You sniffled, there were dry tear stains on your cheeks and he could clearly see them, your eyes were also quite puffy and red. "Angel, what happened?" Sae looks at you, a very concerned look on his face. "Cramps..." you pout. Sae gently strokes your head then heads to the kitchen to warm up some milk and a hot water bottle. A few minutes later, he then proceeds to give you a mug with warm milk and a plush-like hot water bottle. "Thank you." you then take a sip of the warm milk from the light colored orange ceramic mug. "You're welcome. Is there anything else you'd like?" "Hug..." you looked away, feeling a little embarrassed. Sae then kisses you on the cheek and embraces you in his arms for a long long time. You nuzzle against his neck, much like a cat. "Is there anything you'd like to do or watch?" your face instantly glows up. "I want to watch Spirited Away with you!!" A smile appeared on Sae's face. "Of course."
        About 50 minutes left, you fell asleep against Sae. Sae grabs the remote and turns off the TV, afraid that the sound and brightness would wake you up. This all ends when he whispers a "I love you" and slowly falling asleep next to you. 
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i have little info about sae's personality so i apologize if it's very out of character.
-fuyuko 
©fuyukohasnocreativity do not copy or repost.
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GUYS. i want to know - when season 4 comes out , how are u gonna watch it ? example - binging the hell out of it or taking ur time and watching an episode or two each day or sumn ? watching it the moment it comes out or waiting until the hype dies down a bit ? rb with what ur gonna do when it comes out
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nitewingbabi · 8 months
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↳ please respond…I showed you my cock            ⚤ ghostface x female!reader  【 18+ ONLY — Minors DNI 】 ✉ taking requests part 2 ▻ a pretty mouth
2023 was a different year for everyone. Covid was 2020's big killer, and now ghostface seemed to be claiming 2023 as his year. You were one of his taunting targets. Text messages, phone calls, notes in your locker or mail. He had even been in your room once to leave a message on your mirror.
‘I like the red ones’ which was referring to your panties that you were trying on the other day after doing some much needed retail therapy with some friends. 
Your group was getting smaller and smaller as more students were murdered, kidnapped or not heard from in weeks. Curfew was getting shorter that soon enough school was sure to be cancelled until the police solved whoever was running around killing everyone. 
It’s Tuesday night and you just finished showering, you had been blowdrying your hair for the last 20 minutes. The recent news far from your thoughts, the truck load of school work that was due was giving you a migraine. Finally your hair was dried and you were ready to slip into bed and start your assignment. You turned your TV on, immediately putting on your current Netflix show that you were binging. 
Eyes flicking back and forth from your laptop screen to your TV. You hadn’t checked your phone since you started to shower and noticed you had multiple messages from an unknown number. But it wasn’t unknown to you. You knew exactly who it was. 
Unknown Number +1**********
➤ quiet night? 
➤ parents aren’t home. 
➤ neighbours are out of town. 
You had only had one actual physical contact with ghostface which was two weeks ago. He chased you around your house until your neighbours came barging in and he ran away. Ever since you had your parents change the locks and debate whether or not to send you across the country to live with your aunt and uncle until it was all over. You pleaded that they didn’t and instead they paid for a self defence class for you. 
Your phone buzzed again, drawing your attention away from the TV. 
Unknown Number +***********
➤ i liked the little show you put on for me the other day. 
➤ wish i had been there to ruin those little red panties 
You weren’t sure what to write back, you sat there debating if you should even write anything back and entertain this creep. 
Just as you put your phone down, the screen lit up and the room echoed from your ringtone. 
Unknown Caller 
You weren’t sure if you should pick up, but something inside you made you do it. 
“Hello?” You hesitantly asked as you held the device up to your ear. Waiting to hear that deep voice that you couldn’t recognise. 
“Hello y/n. Enjoying your show?” Your eyes met your TV screen to see your show playing still on low volume. You turned the TV off, quickly standing to your feet to look out your window. It was barely lit outside from the streetlight and nothing seemed to stick out like a sore thumb. 
“Who is this? Why are you tormenting me?” You had asked the question too many times that it was just routine, you’d hope that one time he would budge and just tell you. 
“The question isn’t who I am. the question is where I am.” You heart began to race, eyes searching endlessly out your window, he had to be close by. You suddenly felt the booty shorts and crop top that you had slid into wasn’t the best attire to be wearing at home alone whilst being stalked by a psycho. 
“Look asshole, you wanna play games. I can play.” You weren’t sure what you exact plan was, but it was the first thing to pop into your head. Were you terrified of ghostface? Yes. But did it also arouse you how much he called you, texted you, the fact he had probably seen you naked countless times, even possibly pleasured himself to the sight of you. 
“Oh yeah? In the mood for monopoly?” He chuckled darkly on the other end, you could only hope he was still watching you from where he was. With your free hand you danced your fingers down your torso, dipping into the waistband of your shorts and panties and itching your way to your centre that was throbbing. You could hear a deep growl on the other end. 
You chuckled into the phone, knowing he was definitely watching you now. You breathed a soft moan as your fingertip circles your juicy clit, using your arousal as lube to slick your finger around the bundle of nerves. Your moans grew louder and your mouth fell agape as you began walking backwards onto your bed, allowing yourself to fall back into the plush mattress and send yourself into a bliss. 
You had forgotten about ghostface, your phone falling from your ear to beside your head. 
“Hey!” Your eyes popped open as you remembered he was still on the other end. You quickly grabbed it, slowing your circles to keep yourself on edge. 
“I want to hear your pretty cries when you cum, I want you to cum to me and only me. You got that princess?” His words were sharp and threatening, just like the blade he used to murder your friends. God you were getting turned on and touching yourself to a psycho killer. The unexpected happened next. A snapchat notification came through. 
Gfce23 added you on Snapchat! 
It was him. It had to be. You accepted, still working yourself and slipping a finger inside your dripping cunt to get more arousal on your clit. 
Immediately a video came through, along with a few photos. You bit your lip as you thought about what could possibly be on the other end. You had to take the chance though, you were too far down the rabbit hole. 
“Open them, I want you to see what you fucking do to me.” His voice was hoarse and breathless, you could tell he was jerking himself on the other end or something. You clicked on the purple square. Your eyes met a hard cock, veiny and thick. The tip an enraged red with a slight purple tinge. A single drop of precum oozing out the slit and his black leather glove wrapped around his cock. 
The video began playing and his hand jerked his cock slowly, throaty moans echoing as the video continued to play and that drop of precum dripped down his pinkish shaft. A small bush of pubic hair that led to a faint snail trail and a set of what you could only guess were abs. 
His hand got faster and his moans got faster as he pumped himself hard in his hand, but before you could view more you heard your parents car pulling into the driveway with their faint music blaring. 
Ghostface was in the back of your mind as you quickly closed your phone and got settled into bed. Ghostface didn’t call you back, didn’t text you and didn’t send anything else to you that night. But that does’t mean he let you off easy. 
It had only been a few days since you last heard from ghostface, but when you did you were surprised to see the message he had sent through was not his usual taunting, threatening approach. 
Unkown Number +**********
➤ i want to see that pretty pussy spread out tonight 
➤ leave your window unlocked
➤ i know your parents wont be home
➤ hope you like it rough princess
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strawb3rrystar · 2 months
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Hazbin Hotel characters longing for you.
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Pairing: Charlie Morningstar, Vaggie, Angel Dust, Husk, Sir Pentious, Alastor, Lucifer Morningstar, Adam, Vox, Valentino, Velvette x GN! Reader
Warnings: Implied breakup, Stalking, Just all around angst
Word count: 600
✰Masterlist
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Charlie will hangout with her friends to get your mind off you. This strategy works for a little while, until she starts to notice small bits of your personality in them. All the little things pile up and it brings down her mood, causing her stay away from her friends as to not get reminded.
"Sorry guys, can't hangout today, not feeling the greatest."
Vaggie will bottle up all her emotions and avoid everyone. But, being all alone causes her to start thinking about you more. All the happy memories you created together. Laughs and smiles shared. Vulnerable venting sessions that ended in cuddles. She won't be able to scrape you from her mind and end up crying angry tears.
"Why... after everything we've been through! Why.. why did you leave me..?"
Angel Dust will probably be too distracted with work to think about you. But of course he misses you and wishes to have you back. If he ever does get time to just sit and think about you, his insecurities will get the best of him and he'll think your better off without him.
"Maybe.. they're better off. More happier without me.."
Husk will drown himself in alcohol like he always does. Silently doing his job. It wasn't much of a change to most of the others. Sometimes, out of the corner of his eye, he'll see your figure. He shivers every time he realizes you're not actually there.
"Must be the alcohol makin' me see shit..."
Sir Pentious will lay awake at night thinking about you. It doesn't help that his eggs will keep bringing stuff up about you. He doesn't want to think about you, but he just can't get you out of his head. He wishes to see you one last time before he lets you go.
"I haven't asked for much. Please, just let me see them again."
Alastor will convince himself that he was perfectly able to go on with his afterlife before he met you, so he can definitely do it after you left. Although, that's a lie, because he misses your presence everyday. Even if he doesn't want to admit it, he goes over your daily schedule before you left in his head and goes to the places you used to frequent.
"I am perfectly capable all on my own."
Lucifer will dream about you every night after you leave. He'll dream about all the good times you had together. Your smile and your laugh. His dreams are so realistic that when he wakes up it takes him a minute to remember you left.
"Right.. they left.. but, my dream was so.. real.."
Adam will kinda stalk you, justifying it as protection. Whenever he sees you hanging out with another angel, though, envy will fill his veins. Even if he knows it's one of your friends, he'll still get jealous.
"You were supposed to hangout with me, not this fucking nobody."
Vox will also very much stalk you with his cameras. Nervously searching his screens whenever you leave your house. He just wants to know where you are, and that you're safe.
"My sweet would never have to worry about their safety again."
Valentino will check your past messages 50 times a day. He's just itching to text you, but if he does you might block him, and then he'll lose your conversations forever. He might throw his phone in frustration.
"God fucking damn it!"
Velvette will regularly check your social media for any updates from you. If you do post something new, expect her to be one of the first to like it.
"@Velvvette liked your post."
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Star's notes -> I've binged Hazbin Hotel like 3 times now OMG
(Requests are open!)
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Taglist -> Join the taglist
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sailortongue · 8 months
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Wingteam
pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader
wc: ~1.5k
summary: the team decides that Spencer is in need of a date and they're going to be the ones to help him. But there's just one problem that the team doesn't know about: Spencer already has a girlfriend
a/n: this is my first time writing for criminal minds so they're probably all out of character but pls bear with me. binged the first four seasons in a month and i'm completely hooked on the show and spencer so hopefully i'll write more and improve characterization. any feedback would be super appreciated!
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Spencer Reid was a rather private person, preferring to keep his private life just that: private. But it was getting progressively harder to explain why he didn't want to participate in group outings to the local bars. Truth be told, all he wanted was to get home to you and cuddle on the couch. Not that his teammates knew you even existed. It wasn't that he was ashamed of you! No, never. How could he ever be ashamed of the most wonderful thing in his life? No, it was because he knew he'd never hear the end of the teasing, especially from Morgan. And so he had decided that he would keep you all to himself, after discussing with you, of course. You had no issue with him not disclosing your relationship with his coworkers. However, it was this secrecy that led him to this horribly uncomfortable moment.
“You don't get to weasel out this time, pretty boy. You're coming with us even if I have to manhandle you there,” said Morgan. “And you're not leaving that bar without a girl on your arm,” he added, finger pointed at Reid in an accusatory manner.
It took all of Spencer’s willpower to not outwardly grimace. Like hell he was going to leave with any girl that wasn't you. “I’m not looking for a relationship right now,” he declined. It wasn't exactly a lie; he was already in a relationship, afterall.
“Oh, c’mon, Spence, don't you want to settle down one day?” chimed in Emily. “I bet you'd be an amazing husband.” She redirected her attention, “We just have to find the future Mrs. Reid, right Morgan?”
Morgan smirked, “Sounds like a plan.”
“No. There is no plan. Stop scheming. I told you, I’m not looking for a relationship. And even if I was, I don't think I’d need a team of FBI agents to help me get a date,” Spencer tried to discourage his friends, but to no avail. In fact, it just seemed to egg them on.
“Reid, I’ve never seen you go out with anyone. We’re getting you laid tonight and there's nothing you can do about it.”
“Never seen me go out with anyone? Should I be inviting you along to my dates?”
The sarcasm wasn't lost on Morgan, who rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean.” He turned to look at Garcia, “Hey, babygirl, you wanna help us land Reid a date?” The grin that Morgan had whilst asking was soon mirrored by the technical analyst in question.
“Do you even have to ask, sugar?”
A quick glance around the bullpen at his gathered teammates told him that no one was going to help him get out of this. Spencer’s expression changed to one of panic, but not for the reason that his friends assumed, i.e. that he had no experience with girls and was just nervous. Much to his chagrin, Hotch made a different deduction, and whilst everyone else was discussing their plan for later that night, he leaned down to Reid, “Why don't you just tell them you have a girlfriend already?”
Spencer, who was nowhere near as skilled as Hotch at hiding his emotions, had shock written all over his face. He opened his mouth to question how Hotch knew that, not even bothering to deny it. But Hotch answered before Spencer could even ask the question. “I’m a profiler. To be honest, I'm surprised the rest of the team hasn’t figured it out. Rossi has a suspicion, though.” And with that, Hotch stood back up to his full height and resumed conversation with the team, asking what time they had decided to meet.
I’m so screwed thought Spencer.
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“I’m so screwed,” Spencer announced to you as soon as he walked into your shared apartment, dropping his satchel in the entryway. You looked up from the book you were currently reading, “What happened? Are you okay?” You closed your book and set it on the coffee table, giving your perfect boyfriend your full attention. He sighed and joined you where you were reclined on the couch, lying down and placing his head on your tummy, wrapping his arms around you in the process. You smiled down at him gently and brought your hand up to play with his curls, eliciting a satisfied groan from him. “What's eating you, Spence?”
He tilted his head up before answering, “I have to meet the team at a bar later tonight.”
Your brows furrowed in confusion, not seeing what the issue could possibly be. “Ok? Why is that a problem?”
He adjusted himself to be propped up on his elbows on either side of you. “It’s a problem because they've all decided that I'm in need of a girlfriend,” he huffed. Despite your best efforts, you couldn't contain your laughter at Spencer’s obvious distress over the situation. You truly meant no offense, but he was just so gosh darn cute.
“Spencer, sweetheart, why don't you just tell them?”
“Honestly, at this point I just want to see how long it takes them to figure it out without me outright telling them. We're not supposed to profile each other, but it becomes second nature due to the job, so they're bound to pick up on it eventually. Hotch already knows, and he said that Rossi is suspicious. The others haven't caught on yet, but now Morgan wants to be my wingman for the night. How am I supposed to play this off?”
You thought about it for a second before an idea came to mind, a sly grin sliding across the features Spencer loved oh so much. “You're going to do exactly what Morgan wants.”
Spencer blanched, immediately objecting to your words. How could you even suggest that?
“Hold on, I’m not done. I’m not sending the love of my life out to flirt with anyone that isn't me. So what we’re gonna do is….
--------
“Oh, what's this? Did pretty boy find a pretty girl?” teased Derek. His friend practically looked like those wolves from vintage cartoons with hearts for eyes and tongue rolling out of their mouths. His question caught the attention of the rest of the table, all of whom saw Spencer with his eyes trained on a lovely young woman sitting at the bar.
“You should go talk to her!” encouraged Penelope.
“Oh, she's so pretty!” exclaimed JJ. “I agree with Pen, you should definitely go talk to her!”
Hotch watched as the rest of the team, all at least a few drinks in, hyped Spencer up with intoxicated enthusiasm. He had a barely-there smile on his face, watching the events unfold. He watched as Spencer’s face got redder and redder with the attention. As entertaining as this was for the others, it was infinitely more entertaining for Hotch, since he was certain that the woman at the bar was Spencer’s secret girlfriend.
Finally, Spencer gave in to his friends’ demands and approached the bar, seating himself beside the woman. Beside you. Knowing his friends were watching, he had to pretend as if he was meeting you for the first time.
“Can I buy you a drink?” he offered.
You glanced at him coyly before accepting his offer. At some point, the two of you fell into the usual rhythm of conversation you always had, speaking to each other in a way that betrayed how close you really were.
Back at the table, Rossi leaned over to Hotch and gestured for Hotch to lean in as well. “That's the kid’s girlfriend, isn't it?” he whispered. Hotch pulled back with an amused expression and gave the slightest nod, confirming Rossi’s question. Meanwhile, Morgan was placing a bet with Garcia about how long it would take for Reid to leave with you. Morgan was confident that it would be within the next thirty minutes, stating that Reid, who wasn't the most socially adept but was having such a lively conversation, must have really hit it off with you. They watched as Reid spoke to you, all smiles and wild hand gesticulations. And then there was you, the pretty woman who, unbeknownst to the team (minus Hotch and Rossi), was already irrevocably in love with their resident genius long before they took it upon themselves to be a whole wingteam. The radiant smile you wore matched the one Spencer had as you responded to him just as enthusiastically as he had been speaking.
Unfortunately for Garcia, Morgan won their bet. The two of them watched as Reid leaned in to whisper something in your ear. When he pulled away, there was a prominent blush on your face that the minimal amount of alcohol you had couldn't possibly be responsible for. You nodded at him, and he stood from his stool, offering his hand for you to take, which you did as you followed him to the exit.
“My man!” called Morgan from across the bar, raising his beer in Spencer’s direction. Hotch and Rossi chuckled, exchanging glances and shaking their heads. The rest would figure it out eventually. It might be when they receive a wedding invitation, but eventually nonetheless. 
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megalony · 3 months
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Stay With Me
This is an Eddie Diaz imagine, requested by the lovely @klovesreading, I hope you all like it. Feedback is always lovely.
Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@noonenuts@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @topguncultleader @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream
911 Masterlist
Summary: After an argument with Eddie, (Y/n) picks up an extra shift at work. Both of them wish she didn't when she gets shot on duty.
Enjoy.
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(Y/n) hauled off Eddie's hoodie that she had been wearing all afternoon and slung it over the back of the dining room chair before she headed through into the kitchen. It felt strange to have the house deathly quiet and barely alive like this. But she had just taken Chris to spend the night with Evan since they hadn't had a lot of time together recently and Chris was starting to miss his uncle Buck.
She loved Chris to death, he had quickly wormed his way into her heart and when he started to call (Y/n) mum, it was the best day of her life. She wasn't used to having the house this quiet without him playing his video games or dancing away to music. But it would be nice to have a night with Eddie without having to worry if Chris could hear them or if he was alright and check what he was doing.
She knew he was with Evan and having the time of his life; whenever her brother came round Chris never wanted him to leave. Last week he went as far as having a meltdown when Evan had to go on shift and leave them. At least he didn't have to be upset this time, he could spend the full night with 'his Buck' and (Y/n) knew Eddie was relieved that Chris's first night away from home- other than being with his grandparents- was with someone they both trusted.
Rounding the kitchen counter, (Y/n) tiredly looked in the fridge, trying to decide if she was actually hungry or not. She had been feeling sick today and the past few days she had no energy, even when she was at work all she wanted to do was go home to bed.
(Y/n) could hear that Eddie had put the tv on in the living room a few minutes ago when he came home and she guessed he would soon be looking for a movie to watch together. With his work pattern, whenever Eddie got an evening or a day off, he binged a few good movies because he didn't have a lot of free time to watch movies. Other than the same five cartoon movies Chris was currently obsessed with.
"When did you get this?"
Pulling away from the fridge, (Y/n) heaved it shut with a sigh and turned on her heels to look over at Eddie.
Her eyes raked over his frame, noticing the way his hair was brushed back on his head and curling up at the ends like he had run it through with wax. He was wearing a dark grey sleeveless shirt and his body was leaning up against the kitchen doorway. His arms were crossed over his chest and for a second, (Y/n) wasn't sure what he was referring to, until her eyes landed on the small box he had put on the counter in front of him.
A pregnancy test.
"Oh, uh, I don't know, last week maybe?" She leaned forward on the counter and arched her back out with her arms folded in front of her.
(Y/n) had bought so many pregnancy tests this last year that she couldn't remember when she got most of them. Usually when she thought she had one in the bathroom cupboard, she went and found she'd already used it and had to go for another. That was probably a spare one she'd bought on the off chance of needing it.
It was a sore subject to talk about at the moment.
A whole year they had been trying. A year of wanting to get pregnant and coming up empty handed with a lot of false positives. Chris had become (Y/n)'s child as much as Eddie's when they got married, he was calling and referring to her as his mum and (Y/n) was in the process of adopting him. But it didn't stop her wanting to have a baby of her own.
She yearned to have a baby and see Eddie with a baby in his arms and Eddie had as much baby fever as (Y/n), but nothing was going to plan. (Y/n) was pregnant two months after they got married but it hadn't been straight forward. (Y/n) thought she might have been pregnant, she had a suspicion but before she could take a test or book a doctor's appointment, she woke in the night with horrid cramps and found out she'd miscarried without really knowing she was pregnant.
That was as close as she came to being pregnant. For the year that they had been trying, nothing had happened and (Y/n) didn't know what to do with herself or how to get out of the slump it was putting her in.
"I thought we agreed not to do any more tests for a while?" Eddie uncrossed his arms and crossed the kitchen to reach her but he hated the glum, broken look in (Y/n)'s eyes when she looked up at him.
Without replying, (Y/n) simply shrugged and started to tangle her fingers together. She didn't acknowledge Eddie's hand on her lower back because she knew where this conversation was going to go. All she did was tilt her head to the right when Eddie's lips merged with her neck and she let herself melt into the feeling, just for a while.
"Mi amor?"
"I wasn't intending on using it, not yet anyway." She didn't remember when she bought it, she had on intentions of sitting and looking at a negative test.
"That's what you said before," Eddie rolled his lips together and took a deep breath when (Y/n) shrugged out of his touch and turned to face him with one elbow leant on the counter.
"That's not funny."
"I'm not trying to joke. We said we wouldn't take any more tests after last time."
Eddie didn't want to come home and find (Y/n) slumped on the floor, staring into the void of a negative test. Unable to move, unsure what to say. If she wanted to do a test Eddie would rather (Y/n) do it when he was home with her but that being said, he didn't want to take any more tests. Not unless they were dead certain they were within a chance of having a positive.
He was sick of seeing the negatives on the test and watching a little piece of (Y/n) break each time they took a test. Eddie would rather forget about tests all together and forget that they were trying for a baby. If they didn't overthink this, then maybe they would have a baby without having to focus and try so hard.
"And we're not." (Y/n) dragged her fingers through her hair, brushing the strands further back on her head and out of her eyes. She moved away from the counter and grabbed the dreaded test that had become her enemy rather than her friend.
"Good."
"Why is that good?" She couldn't drag her eyes away from the test to look over at Eddie. Just this once, (Y/n) wished she could tear it open, try the test and have it come back positive.
Just this once. Was she really asking too much by wanting a baby?
"Because I don't like seeing you break down every time we get a test. Hide the damn thing and forget about it. We might get lucky without all the pressure." Eddie leaned back, using his quick reflexes to catch the test when (Y/n) tossed it his way. If he wanted to hide it, he could go ahead and they would see if his relaxed way would go down well or not.
(Y/n) clamped her hand down on her hip and leaned her other side into the counter. Her eyes watched her husband with intrigue as he tossed the test from one hand to the other like it was burning hot and scolding his skin. But her heart dropped down to her stomach when she noticed him glance towards the bin. It was a quick, swift movement, barely noticeable, but (Y/n) saw. She almost expected him to toss the test in the bin but he settled on throwing it on the top shelf in the medicine cupboard.
"May as well forget about it, we won't need it."
His words were like a knife puncturing through (Y/n)'s stomach and she could feel bile creeping up the back of her throat as her stomach twisted and clenched.
"Why would you say that?" The pain in (Y/n)'s eyes matched the croak in her voice and she furiously rubbed her sleeve against her eyes to stop herself from crying. She had cried enough, she wasn't in the mood to break down about this, again.
It hurt more than Eddie could comprehend that when he and Shannon had Chris, they hadn't been trying for a baby. Chris was the reason they got married, both being Catholics and raised with the installed thought of 'doing the right thing.' Chris was a surprise, the best kind, he and Shannon didn't have to try for a year to have a baby and Shannon took that and the family she had, for granted.
And here (Y/n) was, married to the man who stole her heart from the first moment they met. She loved him and Chris and they had their own little family together, but (Y/n) couldn't seem to catch a break when it came to a baby. They had done things the way Eddie's family would have wanted, marriage first, then children. But none were arriving.
(Y/n)'s teeth started to grind down together when Eddie stared across at her with those big doe eyes that were full of panic and fright.
He hadn't meant to say that outloud.
"No, baby I didn't mean it like that."
"Yes you did."
"No I didn't." His hands moved to clamp down on his hips and his head tilted to the side as he looked at her with a hardened, unhappy expression. "We don't need a fucking test right now, we need to stop panicking. We have time and it'll either happen or it won't."
He didn't like the way (Y/n) scoffed and her lips curled into a snarky smile. Why could he not see this from her perspective?
"Why not just give up, hm? Shannon didn't even have to try to have Chris and I've been with you almost five years and all I get is a false positive and then a miscarriage. Clearly it's not happening."
"That's not what I'm saying. Do you think I enjoy seeing you upset like this? I'm sick of seeing you so broken and not being able to do anything about it. At least whenever Shannon did a test she didn't cry when it was negative,"
"Well it's a fucking shame you married me, Edmundo."
Eddie knew he had taken it too far the moment he spoke and hearing his full name from (Y/n) only made him cringe and back up into the counter. He hated the way she said his name. He knew he well and truly fucked up when (Y/n) croaked his name like that and had to fight back tears from his crudeness.
He didn't mean it.
Tears welled up in the corners of Eddie's eyes when (Y/n) bypassed him, moving as far to the counter as she could so even her arm didn't brush his chest an inch. And panic bubbled up in Eddie's chest when he watched his wife barge through the dining room, grab her bag from the table and march towards the front door.
What was she doing? Where was she going? He didn't want her to leave, he wanted to stay and talk and make up for the stupid things he had just said that he well and truly didn't mean.
"Wait- where are you going?" The panic in his voice almost made (Y/n) crumble. Almost.
With her jacket slung over her arm and her bag on her shoulder, (Y/n) grabbed her keys and unlocked the door.
"I'm going to work."
"You're not on shift. Baby don't leave, I'm sorry I didn't mean it-"
"I'll pick up the night shift and pray I won't be such a cry baby by morning." When the door slammed shut behind her, Eddie slumped his back into the wall and let himself slide down to the floor with a thud.
What had he done?
***
"Are you okay?"
(Y/n) slumped down in her seat and leaned her head against the window that felt cold and soothing against her burning temple. Night shifts always caught her off guard, they didn't make her feel great when most of her shifts were day shifts since Eddie did a fair few nights.
Every time she went onto a night shift, (Y/n) felt like she was going to collapse the moment she got home and she could never sleep during the day which made her feel even worse. But being on shift was preferable to being at home with Eddie and either sitting in silence or carrying on the argument.
"Just tired,"
"Hm. Makes sense that you'd pick up the late shift if you're tired." Athena tilted her head to the side and gave (Y/n) a knowing look, sporting her signature, calming smile.
Since moving down to LA with Evan, the siblings both felt like Athena and Bobby had taken them under their wings and become their surrogate parents. Bobby looked out for Evan at the station and was always there for him outside of the station when he needed him. And when (Y/n) became a cop, she had Athena to look out for her and be there when she needed a shoulder to lean on.
"I'd just rather be anywhere else right now." There was no point divuldging why she was here and not back at home on her day off. It was easier to try and forget the reason why she wasn't going home yet and pray that in the morning, the atmosphere would be gone by the time she walked through the door.
A bolt of relief surged through (Y/n) when the radio went off, asking for assistance. She needed something to focus her mind on because she wasn't the one driving tonight. Driving the streets aimlessly was something she and Eddie did when they or Chris couldn't sleep and it was only going to make (Y/n) break down and want to go back home.
"Anyone available to assist in a house call? Neighbours are reporting raised voices and items being thrown."
"This is Seven-two-seven-L-thirty, responding."
(Y/n) looked across at Athena as she shimmied up and sat up straight in her seat to try and liven herself up. It was strange to see Athena without her usual sunglasses she always wore when she was on shift, but she didn't wear them out on a night shift. It tended to give people the wrong impression and they didn't exactly help.
"Off we go," (Y/n) heaved herself out the car and stretched, clicking her back into place as she shut the door behind her.
As soon as she was on her feet, (Y/n) felt like the cold air was wrapping her up and suffocating her. Her stomach was still churning from earlier and she was sweating despite the cool midnight breeze.
"The side gates open, I'll take a look."
(Y/n) nodded and watched Athena move away from the path towards the right side of the house. The gate was swinging open in the wind, creaking back and forth which wasn't alarming but it could be something to worry about.
With a deep breath, (Y/n) followed the narrow path up to the front door and tried to peek into the window to see if there were any lights on or any sound of noise. The neighbours called in raised voices and items being thrown about but the house was deadly quiet right now.
"Police, could you open the door please? We're here for a welfare check." (Y/n) knocked on the door three times before she leaned towards the window when she heard some movement. "Open the door please." She tried again with another round of knocking but whoever was inside was now rummaging around. They weren't going to open up.
A sigh passed her lips as she took a few steps away from the door and moved back onto the path. Her hand curled around her radio and she did a sweep around the quiet street.
"Athena, any luck round back? I might check in with the neighbours- oh, someone's opening up."
When the door unlocked and creaked open, (Y/n) walked back up the steps but she stopped short when a woman shot out the door. She collided into (Y/n)'s shoulder, pushing her back and causing her to twist on her feet as she regained her balance. Falling on the pavement wasn't going to do her any favours tonight.
"Miss- miss wait-"
(Y/n) scrunched her hand around the girl's sleeve and tried in vain to stop her bolting away and rushing down the empty street. But just as her hand left the girl's shoulder, everything seemed to stop when a shot rang through the air.
At first, she thought Athena had come through the house and was trying to apprehend someone. It didn't dawn on (Y/n) that it was someone else in the house shooting until a blinding, horrifying pain coursed through her left shoulder.
Her body tilted backwards and she managed to stay upright for three wobbling steps back while her right hand moved to press to her shoulder without thinking. Blood soaked into her palm. The touch on her shoulder made it ignite in white hot pain. No air went in or out of her lungs and her knees caved in on her.
She didn't reach the floor before another shot imbedded in her left thigh just before her back hit the ground.
Her head smashed into the pavement, sending her vision black with little white spots like the stars had fell down to Earth and were dancing in front of her eyes.
The collision seemed to act as a button that turned her hearing off. All (Y/n) could hear was static. It was buzzing in her ears, ringing around in her head and worsening the way her body was shaking when she couldn't hear what was going on. Her eyes wouldn't focus on anything but the flashing stars blinking in front of her. How could she protect herself if all she could see were stars and all she could hear was blinding, buzzing background static.
(Y/n) couldn't help herself if the gunman came outside and tried to shoot at her or the civilian who most probably had fled the street by now. She couldn't protect Athena if she didn't know what was going on or where (Y/n) and the shooter were.
All she could do was lie there like prey, giving in and ready to be killed for sport.
"Shots fired! Officer down I need immediate back up and an ambulance to my location now!" Athena slumped down on her knees, dragging her eyes over (Y/n)'s frame. She had handcuffed the shooter to the radiator in the doorway after she entered the house through the open back door.
She could feel Athena's hand briefly grab hers to let her know who it was beside her and that she was safe.
"(Y/n), can you hear me? You just stay with me, help is on the way."
Something akin to a gurgling scream burned at the back of (Y/n)'s throat when she felt something tight strap around her thigh somewhere near the wounded area. She couldn't pinpoint where she had been shot. Her leg was tingling from her hip bone all the way down to her toes that were cold and numb in her boots.
Her head turned to the side and her hands blindly reached out while her vision slowly started to come back to her. She could just about see Athena hovering over her and she soon realised Athena had used her belt as a turniquet around her thigh to prevent the blood loss. As soon as she pulled it tighter, (Y/n) screamed and thrashed her upper body down against the concrete.
Everything started to shake. Each breath she took made her chest shudder and spit foamed at her mouth as she pushed her breaths through gritted teeth that were puncturing down into her tongue.
Everything burned. Everything hurt. She was trapped in a body that was on fire and tearing itself apart.
Why did she bother coming on shift tonight? Why didn't she stay home with Eddie? An argument wasn't worth getting shot at, she should have talked things out with him.
He begged her to stay, why didn't she stay?
"Stay with me, sweetie, stay with me."
Tears stained (Y/n)'s face and burned into her skin like acid when both Athena's hands pressed down on her shoulder. She couldn't tie anything around her arm or chest as a turniquet, all Athena could do was apply as much pressure as she could to slow down the bleeding until paramedics came to help.
The pressure made (Y/n) choke and she reached a hand out, fumbling around until she could curl her fingers around Athena's wrist.
"Eddie. Eddie."
"Sweetie let's focus on getting some medics here-"
"Eddie!"
She screamed her husband's name at the top of her lungs until she saw Athena grapple with one hand to fish her phone out of her pocket. She had to keep (Y/n) calm or else she was going to go into shock and that wouldn't do her any favours when she had two gunshot wounds.
Blood smeared onto her phone when she swiped a shaky finger across the screen and scrolled down to Eddie's contact. As soon as she clicked on his name, she returned both hands to (Y/n)'s shoulder and pushed down as hard as she could until it felt like her hands were going to burst through (Y/n)'s body.
"Athena? Everything okay?" Eddie's confused voice came through the speaker and just the tone of his voice made (Y/n)'s head loll to the right towards the phone, wishing he was here instead of on the other end of the line.
Sirens wailed in the distance before she could answer and it made her jaw clench. She shouldn't be calling Eddie yet, it was too early when all the attention needed to be focused on (Y/n), but if she didn't, she had a feeling (Y/n) would become very hard to calm and control.
"Eddie I need you to listen carefully. (Y/n)'s been involved in an accident, you need to meet us at Mercy hospital."
"No, no what kind of accident? Is she okay?!"
"Eddie," (Y/n)'s eyes dazed around in circles, unable to focus on anything except the sound of her husband's panicked voice. His name slipped past her lips again, but much quieter this time and (Y/n) found she couldn't hear his response, or anything Athena was trying to shout at her.
"(Y/n), honey you stay with me now, help is here. Eddie meet us at the hospital." She ended the call, swallowing down the guilt consuming every inch of her being when the last thing she heard was Eddie's scream of protest. She couldn't have him on the phone when she could feel (Y/n)'s pulse was starting to fade. They had to get her to the hospital and Eddie would have to drown in the same panic as Athena until he got there.
***
This had to be the one. This was the third ambulance Eddie had seen pull into the parking bay just at the side of the emergency room entrance. He hastily parked his car as close as he could get and stood to the side of the ambulance entrance to the hospital. Eddie knew if he went through the reception in the emergency room he would be pushed to the side and would have to wait for hours in agony.
Whereas if he waited here, he could see Athena and (Y/n) come through the emergency room and he could stay with them that way.
Two ambulances had parked up since Eddie got here and neither of them had brought in his wife. He was starting to lose the feeling in his fingers and feet and at any moment he was sure he would throw up. If he hadn't of started the argument, (Y/n) wouldn't have gone on shift and she wouldn't have been hurt somehow.
The only silver lining here was that Chris was staying with Evan for the night. Eddie didn't have to panic and flutter about finding someone to look after Chris and waste time driving around. He had been able to get straight in the car and drive down to the hospital.
Eddie looked down to his phone again, desperate to call Athena but he knew better. His eyes flitted between his phone and the latest ambulance and he took two steps closer when the back doors opened.
Bingo.
"Athena!" He slipped his phone back into his pocket and skidded across the path to reach them, growling when one of the medics tried to push him back.
"Sir stand back-"
"That's my wife!" Both Eddie's hands moved to tangle in his hair and he started to yank harshly on the strands, feeling a few hairs coming loose between his fingers. His elbows pressed out at his sides and each breath started to run away from him when he realised what they were doing.
One of the medics was stood on the side of the stretcher, hands interlocked, arms straight, pushing compressions down on (Y/n)'s chest. Her heart had stopped.
There was an airbag attached to her mouth and nose, pushing each breath she needed through her system. Eddie spied a turniquet on her left leg and a bundle of gauze and rolls of bandage wrapped around her upper thigh that were starting to turn crimson. Another medic was stood on the other side, applying pressure and a large wad of gauze down onto (Y/n)'s left shoulder but the blood was everywhere. Soaked into her shirt, smeared up her neck, lathering the medic's hands and wrists.
Blood was splattered all over Athena. Her shirt, her hands all the way upto her elbows. A few droplets were even dotted on her cheek from back splash when she tried to stem the bleeding.
Eddie's feet were moving before he could comprehend what was happening and suddenly he and Athena were bolting inside down the hall after the gurney. They stopped only when the gurney travelled down a restricted corridor and the pair of them were left waiting, helpless in an empty corridor.
"What happened?"
"We were doing a welfare check… a woman fled the house and the husband open fired on the lawn. We didn't know he had a gun, there was nothing we could do."
"S-someone, shot her?"
He wasn't sure why, but gunshots didn't cross his mind when he saw the blood and the gauze padded onto his wife. He thought of knife wounds or a car accident. Eddie was married to a cop and a gunshot didn't even cross his mind.
He had to call Evan. And Maddie. He needed to find someone who would be able to watch Chris so Evan could come down to the hospital, he wouldn't be persuaded otherwise once Eddie called him and told him the news. (Y/n)'s siblings were the closest people to her, they were her world, the people who raised her when their parents couldn't. They would want to be here, waiting with Eddie for news.
What had he done? Why did he let her leave?
***
A groan tumbled past Eddie's lips and he slowly brought a hand up to his eyes, rubbing forcefully to try and wake himself up and take a look around. He could of cried when he realised he was in the same spot he had been hours ago. He wasn't waking up from this nightmare, he was trapped.
The moment he tilted his head up, his neck clicked into place and sent a shudder running down the base of his spine. His legs were numb and tingling, stretched out in front of him and his back was aching from falling asleep on the floor, leant up against the wall.
The chairs had been too uncomfy to sit on for long and when a panic attack took over him, Eddie curled up on the floor and hadn't moved since.
He stretched his arms above his head but when his eyes locked on a doctor aiming his way, Eddie jumped to attention. He stood up on wobbling legs and braced himself back against the wall with his hands clasped together in front of him. In the time it took the doctor to walk across the corridor to him, Eddie's hands were dripping with sweat and the back of his neck prickled with heat and goosebumps.
"Mr Diaz?"
His throat was too tight to speak so he settled for nodding his head and moved across with the doctor to sit on the chairs a few feet away.
Suddenly, Eddie was glad he was alone. If this conversation went the wrong way, Eddie didn't want to be around friends and family when he had a break down. Evan and Maddie were on their way here as soon as they could drop Chris off with Hen and Karen. Athena had gone to get changed after her interview with the chief of police and she would be back later with Bobby.
That left Eddie to sit and panic in the corridor for the last three hours, riding out the early morning in a state of perpetual fear he had never felt before.
"Your wife is out of surgery, it went very well."
Relief washed over Eddie like the tide claiming the sand and he let his body slump forward to land his head in his hands.
Thank God. It worked. She was okay.
"We removed both bullets, the one in her thigh was less severe. I'm afraid the shot to the shoulder managed to fracture into the joint. It will take longer to heal and your wife will need physiotherapy."
"She… she coded when she arrived…" Eddie wasn't sure what he was asking but he could feel the panic swirling around in his head. (Y/n) had stopped breathing when the ambulance pulled up. She had CPR on her way into theatre, that could have had a lot of adverse affects and cause lasting problems, depending on how long she was not breathing.
"We restarted her heart upon arrival, she's had normal rhythm since then and two blood transfusions. We were rather worried surgery would push her body into a miscarriage, but so far the fetus seems fine. We will keep doing daily observations just to make sure."
"What are you talking about?"
Her expression faltered and Eddie watched the way she fiddled with her hands on her lap, grimacing at her mistake. She should have eased into that conversation and tied to gage whether Eddie had any inkling about this or not. Now she had put her foot right in it.
"I'm very sorry, I presumed you would have known. Your wife is pregnant, congratulations, you are both very lucky under the circumstances."
Eddie's hands clamped together and he leaned forward, pressing his mouth against the side of his hand with a sudden desire to bite down into the flesh and rip it apart.
What had he done?
Their argument earlier in the night had been futile and pointless and he should have stopped her from leaving. If they took the test the night would have gone very differently. If they had worked things out and stayed home together, they would have found out this news in a few weeks and everything would have been better. (Y/n) wouldn't need to be pent up on bed rest and undergoing surgery and physio and cardiac arrest. She wouldn't have gone through all of this and ended up being shot if they didn't argue.
"I want to see her."
"Of course, this way."
Eddie could barely feel his legs when he stood up. He was trembling all over and he raked his nails over his thighs to try and ward off the sudden energy and adrenaline fuelling through his system.
"Eddie," The way she said his name when he bolted through the door made him shiver. He couldn't get her voice out of his head. When he closed his eyes, he could still hear her crying out for him while he sat motionless and powerless to do anything to help his wife. He was never going to get that shrill cry out of his head, no matter what he did to try and forget.
Tears were already streaming down his face by the time he stumbled over to the bed and reached out for her.
He could see the way her eyes blinked rapidly and how she tilted her head groggily to the side to try and lock her gaze onto him. She had only just started to come round from the anaesthetic.
Eddie let himself slump down on the side of the bed and he took a second to rake his eyes over his wife's frame. Her left arm was wrapped up in a sling, bound to her chest which she seemed rather put out and confused about. And he didn't dare look under the blanket to see how badly her leg would look. He could only imagine how discoloured, swollen and sore it was going to be. Eddie had had his fair share of bullet wounds in the past.
When her fingers curled around his bicep, Eddie slipped his hands beneath her back as carefully as he could and gently pulled (Y/n) up when she tried to lean over for him. Her right arm curled around his neck, scratching her nails into his skin and her face slumped forward onto his shoulder. While Eddie wrapped one arm around her lower waist to keep her pinned into his chest and his other hand cupped the back of her neck.
He buried his nose into her hair and sighed against the side of her temple, pressing as many kisses to her skin as he could manage.
"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry."
(Y/n) turned her head until she could press a butterfly kiss against the underside of Eddie's jaw and her hazy eyes tried to focus on him when he pulled his head back to look down at her.
"Hm?" What was he sorry for? From what (Y/n) could recall, Eddie hadn't been the one to shoot her. He hadn't done anything wrong, he didn't force her out the house or make her pick up that shift. She should have gone for a drive to clear her head instead of pushing herself to go on shift when she didn't need to. It was stupid of her.
"I shouldn't have let you walk out the door. If I didn't say all those things, you wouldn't have been hurt." Eddie tilted his head to the side and swiped his cheek against his shoulder to rid the tears from his eyes. words were never going to be enough to explain how horrid and idiotic and ruthless he felt for what had happened tonight.
"Baby, I walked out… I k- I knew going to work would be a bad idea," (Y/n) leaned forward again and buried her face into Eddie's neck, groaning into his shoulder when it felt like a storm was rolling into her mind.
"We should have taken the test,"
"Hm?"
(Y/n)'s lips twitched against Eddie's neck and she curled her hand against his back and nuzzled her nose into his neck. She couldn't see what he meant by that, unless there was some secret undertone she was missing. Her eyes soon opened and her lips parted when Eddie's arms suddenly unravelled from her skin and moved to cup her face instead. He smoothed his thumbs over her cheeks and gently lifted her head up from his neck so he could look down at her.
The hazy look in her eyes made his heart melt and when she tried to smile so sweetly up at him, Eddie shivered. She had been shot, twice, and had been on the brink of death and here she was trying to smile to calm him down.
"Mi amor, you're pregnant."
Confusion flooded her face and her eyes narrowed while her smile morphed into something closer to unsettling panic.
If this was some sort of joke, it was in very poor taste and it wasn't funny in the least. But the longer (Y/n) stared up at Eddie, the sooner she realised he wasn't trying to play some sick joke on her or guilt trip her. A cry burned at the back of her throat and she choked on her breath as her head started to shake.
"But… I," (Y/n)'s hand fumbled towards her shoulder and her leg twitched at the memory of being hurt. If she was pregnant, she had put herself and the baby in danger by going on shift tonight. She had been shot, how could the baby be okay after that?
"Shh, it's okay, you're both okay." Eddie's fingers brushed across her cheeks, wiping away the tears falling down her face before he leaned down to kiss her. "And I'm gonna make sure nothing else happens to you. I swear."
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eveningepiphany · 11 months
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reconnect | h.s oneshot
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my masterlist
summary: lockdown is tough on both you and harry. you miss the feeling of physical touch so much you start chasing to fill that void in one another.
warnings: sweet and dirty smut, unprotected sex, fingering (fem rec), spitting, deep conversation, lil bit emotional, touch starved harry & y/n, lockdown and covid mentions.
a/n: something hot and sweet for y’all ily!! highkey wish I had harry during my lockdown era writing this, my god.
———
You felt entirely numb as you heard the familiar news reporter say the words you had been dreading of hearing. Tahnee was was always on at this time of the day— you didn’t even know her name however many months ago.
Restrictions had been easing just a week or so ago.
Her voice continued to echo through the lounge room as you cupped your face in your hands with a sigh.
“—we understand the effect this news may have on viewers at home. In these unprecedented times we must stick together as much as we can. Look after yourself everyone… we’ll see you next with our sporting updates after the ad break.”
She sounded glum, like she hated being the one to deliver the news to people. In the end, she too has to go home and cope with the numerous amounts of restrictions on her life.
You reached for the remote, turning off the tv and throwing it back into the duvet that now permanently lived on the couch, good for the cold nights and binge watching TV shows because you had nothing better to do.
Other than ignore your upcoming college assignments. Which you’re going to continue to do. And procrastinate finishing them and how much you hate the pressure of online schooling.
You had other shit to dwell on too.
You miss your family. You miss your friends.
You’re sick of living out birthdays and your college life on video calls.
You missed being hugged, and kissed and touched.
You were so grateful to have your best friend of all people stuck with you. But you still craved so many kinds of social interaction.
Now you just wanted to cry.
You stood up, knowing harry wouldn’t know yet. Probably in bed on his phone, and you just needed his company.
You quickly went to escape the silence of the lounge room, padding down the hallway in your sweatpants and a baggy tshirt you know for a fact you stole from your dad.
His door was only half shut, and you gently said his name.
“Harry…?” Your voice wavers.
“Yea, love?” His voice is soft, welcoming as it always is.
You push through the door to see him laying in bed, also in sweatpants and a rolled up long sleeve.
He looks at you and tears immediately start to spill over your waterline without you even realising.
He props himself up, “y/n, what’s wrong?”
You invite yourself over to his bed, and his arms pull you into his chest the moment you’re close enough.
A gesture that is just too much given the circumstances, and although the sweetest, it tips you over the edge.
You feel the tightness in your throat as his hands move to caress your back. Before you know it, your chest is rattled with a sob. You felt so dramatic but you needed to let it out.
He waited no time to wrap you straight into his tightest hug, trailing his hands up to your the back of your neck, stroking the skin there with his thumb.
“Darling.” He whispered, concerned of what had happened, but not wanting to push you to tell him. Just letting you cry.
Eventually it wracked out of you,
“We’re— we’re going back into stage four restrictions.” Your reasoning came out with a shaky voice.
You felt his intake of breath once you’d said it, and it got held in his chest for a few seconds before getting let go all at once.
“Fuck.” He cursed out defeatedly.
You sit in silence, but not once does his grasp on you loosen.
“I just want to see my family outside of a fucking FaceTime.” You whisper.
“I do too…” he closes his eyes, “I wish there was something I could do to make it better, y/n. I’m sorry.”
He grabs your hand, amending what he said before.
“I know this is shit, but we’ll get through it. We get through everything together.” He smiles, it doesn’t quite crinkle the corners of his eyes like it usually does, but it’s an attempt at the least.
“I’m so sick of feeling so alone, Harry. I’m glad i have you here, but it’s so lonely at the same time with just us.” You say quietly, hoping not to offend him.
He nods against your head, which is tucked into his shoulder, letting you vent without interruption.
“We can’t do anything. We can’t see anyone. I havent felt another persons touch outside of yours in weeks.”
He doesn’t get offended, he understands exactly where you’re coming from and you’re so grateful for that.
He just plays with your hair as you talk.
“Same here, baby.”
“I don’t mean it in a rude way, you’re very affectionate given our circumstances, but I just…”
Your sentences falls off short, and you shrug. You missed romantic touch too.
“Y’miss being touched.” He enunciates the word in a more suggestive way.
You nod, “not to sound… gross or anything. But I do miss being touched, and held, and kissed.”
He pulls you in a little closer as you speak, almost without realising he was doing it. Absentmindedly ready to do any thing to make you feel a bit better. A bit more connected.
“It’s not gross. It’s normal.” He frowns, “We have gone months without seeing our own family. I can only guess neither of us have had anything romantic going for us. Nothing wrong with missing that.”
“It seems kind of— i don’t know— weird to miss in comparison to the other things.”
“Y/n, tell me you’re not feeling guilty for missing getting kissed. Or laid.”
“I’m…” you sigh as you realise you can’t even pretend you’re not, and he rolls his eyes lightly.
“Jesus.” He let’s out a breathy laugh.
“It’s not just that, atleast, that I miss.” You shake your head, still feeling a little embarrassed.
“I miss the connection. The feeling of it.”
His facial expressions quickly get more serious as you talk. All of the words coming from your mouth can be interpreted in varying ways, but his mind can’t help but veer towards the more sexual aspect of it. Especially since you didn’t deny you missed getting laid.
“I get it. I miss having the opportunity to want someone.” He nods again, watching your reaction to what he says like a hawk.
You look away, almost shy, “To really want it.”
“Yea…” he glances at your lips without realising he’s doing it, and the feeling you’re both discussing at this very moment is welling in the pit of his stomach.
His hands reach out to wipe away the damp glaze on your cheeks from your tears.
“I’m proud of you.” He sighs.
“What— Why?”
“Because. You may think you’re not, but you’re doing so well.” He looks utterly sincere as he says it.
“Harry…” you shake your head as his name slips past your tongue, and you bury your face further into the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent, lips accidentally brushing the base of his neck.
This has him tingling, your soft mouth so close to his pulse point, he wonders if you can feel it racing.
“Y/n.” He squeezes your hip, “If you want me to kiss you, just know all you have to do is say the words.”
He swallows as you still, processing the offer he’s just put on the table.
“But—“
“I miss it too. The really wanting it.” He caresses the soft skin of your waist with the hand that’s now slid underneath your shirt.
You go quiet, suddenly the air so thick with tension you couldn’t breathe.
“If you want anything from me, I’ll give it to you.” He whispers, so softly. Like he wants you to hear him, but also not at the same time.
You’re not sure how to even react.
You’re horny. Emotional. And frankly a little bit too infatuated with his lips to breach into the territory of being able to touch them with your own.
“Harry.” You repeat, sounding unsure.
“Baby, if you wanted it, I would do it.”
He scratches his fingers down your spine, noting the absence of a bra strap.
You shudder at the sensation. Realising no one has made you feel like this in so long.
“Very sudden.” You blurt, trying not to push forward with you hips whatsoever, despite the ache that’s quickly conjured between your legs.
You fear that if you feel him, all sense of rationality will be gone.
“I know.” He says, lips dragging down your temple.
“M’beginning to realise, y/n, that i would do just about anything to keep you happy.”
Your heart pangs and you indulge a little, hands coming up to weave through his hair and pull on it gently.
And he groans, sounding so pretty.
“You deserve this too.” You carefully say. You’re not even sure where the line is between the two of you. But you continue talking anyway,
“Always so sweet… so giving. Who would I be to not make you feel loved on too.”
“Christ.” He whispers as you tug on his brown curls again, which slide against your fingers like silk.
“How far is this gonna go, H.” You ask, needing clarification before you go insane.
“Far as you want it.”
“I need specifications.” Your hands come to his cheeks, “I don’t want to be making any assumptions here.”
“Angel, If you asked me for my mouth on your pussy, I would give it. Want my cock? It’s yours. Use me, touch me, anything you want you already have.”
You feel yourself melt at the words.
You cave, leaning forward and capture his perfect lips, feeling their shape slot against yours like an art piece.
His lips feel heavenly, and you nearly black out at the sensation that overtakes your body.
“Fuck, that feels so good love.” Harry says against your mouth, his tongue jutting out to swipe over your bottom lip.
You hum in the back of your throat, and he tugs your hips so you’re properly seated into his lap.
You can’t miss his erection underneath your core. His clothed length is pressing into you and a moan slips out of you before you can even stop it.
��Need it. Please.” You start to beg, no matter how desperate it comes across.
His hand comes to your waistband, “you’re sure you want me to touch you?”
“Yes, yes.”
It dips underneath the fabric, finding you without underwear and almost dripping you were that wet.
The thing is, going so long with just your hand and a vibrator, the second any kind of prospect of getting dicked down is there— you’re immediately slick with arousal.
“Jesus fuck, y/n.” He drags his middle finger through your cunt, feeling the wetness along his finger tip. “You’re soaked.”
“Harry— oh my god—“ he slid it back down, teasing your entrance with his fingertip.
“Been that long huh. Just the thought of it works you up this much?” He chuckles.
Your hands fly to the collar of his shirt, tugging at the soft material, gripping it in your fists.
You hum in agreement. “More, please.”
“Mm, so glad you’re letting me do this.”
He pushes in further, and just his one long finger is touching places that has you clenching around him.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Praise is spilling from your lips as he curls his digit in you.
You slouch into his strong frame, hand slipping down between the two of you, palming over his erection.
He peppers your neck in open mouthed kisses, moaning at the feeling of you squeezing his clothed cock.
“Can I— fuck— get you out.” You ask, reaching to dip under his sweatpants.
“Yes. Don’t even have t’ask, pretty.”
You flush, hand moving underneath his waistband, finding him also without underwear.
Relief flooded you as you got your hands on the smooth skin of his cock.
He moaned at the contact, “Shittt. That feels amazing. S’much better than my own hand…”
He slides another finger into as you begin stroking along his length.
You both begin to move in sync with one another, the sound of your pleasure beginning to echo around the room.
“Can hear how wet you are.” Harry grunts, fingers curling inside you.
Your hand squeezes around his cock as he does that, causing you both to moan.
“Harry. I need you inside me… please.” His fingers were already close enough to making you come and you weren’t sure how he’d react if you came before he even got close to being in you.
“Can I make you come first? Want you to feel good, baby. If you can handle more than one orgasm, please?”
He wants you to feel good.
Before himself.
You realise this man in genuinely a saint. Like more than you ever could have imagined.
“Seriously?” You still don’t even believe he means it. Maybe he’s just saying it to be nice, and actually wants you to say no?
“What do you mean?” He looks a little confused, slowing down the kisses he was placing along your neck.
“I— sorry. I’m just not used to being so… looked after, I guess?”
“Have other guys not made you come first…?” He looks shocked.
“No… not usually? Occasionally, if I’m really horny and it wouldn’t take long.”
“I know there’s some scumbags out there, but with a pussy like yours… they should be begging to please you.” He shakes his head, not finished talking.
“For the record, lovie, if you weren’t so adamant in getting filled with my cock, I’d be making you come atleast twice before I fuck you.”
He pulls his hand entirely away from your cunt, allowing you to feel his absence as he talks. “Then I’d edge you with my fingers to the brink of your third. Until you’re begging me to stretch you out.”
He delivers a gentle slap over the hood of your clit once he’s done talking. Sliding his middle and pointer finger back down into your entrance to gather the arousal there, and slip it up to your clit.
“Oh.” You breathed out. A whiney noise following from your throat shortly after.
You were surprised. Not because it was Harry, if anyone would be like this it would be him. But you’re used to being a second thought sometimes. Just an aid to an end goal.
You’d become accustomed to it. Now there’s a man in front of you, who wants to please you because it seems to make him happy.
He reaffirms that thought, “I don’t think you’re aware how happy I’m gonna feel when your cunt is pulsating around my fingers in a few minutes.”
With saying that, he pinches and rolls your clit between his fingers and you struggle to find words to respond to what he said.
“Fuck— I— thank you.” You’re shaking a little as he increases the speed as he works over your clit.
“Nono. Thank you. You’re so nice under my fingers. So wet and warm.” He hums as you begin to squirm against his touch.
Your hand movements around his hard cock have gone to a lax and languid stroke, and almost stop all together when he dives his fingers back into your hole.
“Mhm— Harry!” You gasp, quickly starting to lose all your sense of self as he plays with you.
“That’s it, Y/n. Let me take care of you.”
He works you expertly, and your cunt is so unprepared for the attention from someone other than yourself. Its making it hard to hold yourself together.
You’re clenching around his fingers, and the tension in your stomach is quickly building.
“I’m gonna… fuck I’m gonna come soon, H.” You moan, followed by another curse of his name as he flicks your clit with his thumb.
Your pushing your hips against his hand, grinding into every movement. Chasing that explosion of pleasure in your abdomen.
“Wanna feel it. Come on, let it all go f’me.” He coos, keeping a hard and fast pace with his hand.
You cry out his name, nails scraping down his skin as you beg for the final push, which comes quickly.
A curl of his thrusting fingers and your movement lapses immediately, jaw going slack as you come around his hand.
It’s better than he could ever imagine, the noises coming from your lips are sinful, and you lean forward, open mouth panting over his cheek.
Hot breath fanning across his face while you’re still clenching around him.
He moves to bite your bottom lip, earning a jerk of your hips and another moan from you.
After your heart rate slows, he gently removes his fingers out of you.
“Good girl. Took it so well.” He pecks your nose with his lips.
“Can take your cock better.” You let out a breathy laugh.
He smiles, dimples popping out.
“Little minx. C’mere.”
He draws you into a hug, pulling your middle flush to his chest.
“D’ya need a minute, or no?” He asks gently, voice close to you ear.
“No, I’m ok, I’m good.” You blush.
“S’it too much to ask to take your shirt off?” His hand pulls at the hem of your tshirt.
“Can yours come off too?” You chuckle, leaning back to settle your eyes on the long sleeve covering his chest.
He nods, still smiling as he lets you take his off first. Revealing his toned chest and inked skin.
You run your hands along the ridges of his abs as he reaches for to pull off your own shirt.
Lifting your arms, you hear his little intake of breath as he remembers you don’t have a bra on.
The shirt gets tossed elsewhere as he is focused solely on your chest.
He looks transfixed as he trails a hand up to ghost over the skin on the side of your breast.
“Fuckin’ hell. Look at you, Angel. Got the prettiest tits.” He says it with such endearment.
You squirm with pleasure as he cups you in his hand, bringing your nipple to his mouth. His hot, velvety tongue slicking over the sensitive skin there.
Your back arches immediately, a moan sounding from you.
“Fuckkk…” you drawl out, letting him suck it into his mouth.
The sensation is enough to have you a mess in his hands again. The way he works his mouth over you like it’s nothing.
You take his cock back into your grip— having momentarily let go during the haze of your orgasm— and run the head of him through your folds.
His mouth falls open around you, moaning, letting his breath fan over your sensitive nipple.
“Jesus Christ, Y/n.” He groans against you.
“So hard…” you whisper, rubbing his tip over your clit.
He lifts his head away from your chest, glancing down to see the connection between the two of you.
And he moves a hand down, lacing it over the top of yours.
You felt so connected with him. Just with his hand now over yours, and his length pressed into your clit.
You can’t even imagine the state you’ll be put in when he’s inside of you.
“Harry… need you.” You plead again, without care of if he’s sick of hearing it.
You need him. Need him so bad it’s consuming you. All you can think about is him. Not even in the sense that all you want his cock.
You just need to feel like you’re close as you possible can be to him.
“I know baby, I know.” He kisses your cheek, “Y’want me to use a condom?”
“Only if you want to. I’m clean and still on the pill.”
“I trust you. If that’s what you want.” He reaffirms with you.
“H, I have to feel you. Just need to be close to you.” You lean into his neck, kissing the skin there.
“And s’this position comfortable for you?”
“Yes, yes. I’ll take you anyway, any position. Whether you want me on top, under you, bent over… don’t care. Just want you.”
“God, you’re such a good girl. So amazing f’me.”
You let him guide your hand to the base of his length. And then slowly, with his hand interlocked over yours, drag his tip to your entrance.
Your already letting out whines, free arm coming to lace into the hair at the nape of his neck.
You lower your hips down on him, feeling the head of his cock slip up into you.
You both let out a moan at the sensation, whispers of each others names falling from your lips. Gently you keep sliding him in further, soaking in every second you feel him stretch you out.
This was what you missed. The feeling of connecting with someone. Not necessarily with just the sex. But feeling intertwined. Like you couldn’t tell where your body ended and his begun.
“You’re better than I could’ve dreamed, lovely.” He praised, earning a clench of your cunt. One he wasn’t expecting, that had him moaning into the shell of your ear.
He sounded perfect. Like an Angel. And you melted further into him at the sound.
“This is perfect, Harry. Needed it so bad.” You stroked his hair as you spoke.
He removed his hand from over yours, coming to rest both of them on your hips, guiding you down further.
Once you moved your own, you could let him slide you all the way. Your clit brushing over his pubic bone once you reached the base.
“Clenching ‘round me like that—“ he hisses, “gon’ make me come too fast, darling.”
“Let me feel you for a second.” He holds you in place, letting you sit still over his thick cock.
“So wet, so warm. Made to fit my cock, hm?” He squeezes the skin of your waist.
He bucks his pelvis up to you after you moan out an agreement, “Made just for you, Harry.”
And he’s starting to thrust slowly in and out, guiding your hips through the movements.
“Lay on me.” He rearranges himself so you can lay your chest onto his, and rest your head next to his cheek.
Your breasts press up against him, and clit is now being stimulated even more by his front.
“Need you close to me.” He whispers, and you start to bounce onto his cock gently. Bum slapping on the strength of his thighs.
“Me too, H. Have to feel every part of you.” You moaned, circling yourself on him. Each rotation hitting your clit, causing you to moan.
He also is in shock at the sensation of being inside of you. It almost like a surprise to his entire nervous system.
He draws his fern-adorning hips back, only to snap them back upwards. Skin slapping at the movement.
Not to mention the sound of your wetness gliding along his cock each time you got thrusted into, which was echoing through the room.
“Listen to how wet you are. All for me.” He groans, picking up the pace.
Your lips find a spot to suck below his ear as he talks, nipping at the skin.
“I’m so… you make me so wet.” You agree, pussy pulsating around his bare cock.
“Love it. Don’t you? Us using each other like this.”
He says it, knowing the dirty talk in turning you on even more. But you both know it goes beyond getting a quick fuck.
This is everything to you both. Feeling like, for the first time in so long, you are truly not alone.
“Want you to use me, Harry.” You roll your cunt, pushing your clit onto any part of him it reaches, still clenching at the contact.
“Dirty Girl. So fucking desperate.” He laughs, kissing your hair.
“Who would I be to talk, though.” He grabs at your ass, “I’d beg you for this everyday. This sweet cunt around me. For you to touch me. Anything.”
He admits it with a moan following after it, your pussy fluttering.
You feel it building it inside the pit of your stomach.
“Want you to fill me up.” You state, panting as your thighs start to shake, and you realise in a few minutes your going to come. And hard.
“With my come, huh? Want me to put it deep inside y’baby?” He asks you, hips bucking excitedly at the prospect.
“Yes! Fill me with your warm come, Harry.” You’re starting to go delusional.
Filthy fucking words flying from your mouth as your arousal overtakes every rational part of your brain.
“Shit—“ He is pressing you flush to his body, holding you as close as he possibly can. The pace of his cock slapping into you increasing by the second.
“I wanna see it drip out of you, Y/N.” He groans, fucking into you hard and fast.
You feel amazing, your heart racing in your chest, and your whole body vibrating. You’re being stimulated in so many places. Your nipples pressed up to his toned chest, clit being rubbed by his pubic bone, god— and his cock fucking you.
“Thankyouthankyou—“ your mind is quickly turning to a mess with him swallowing you up like this.
You feel your orgasm approaching with a tension in the pit of your stomach. It’s quickly becoming the only sensation you can feel outside of the harsh thrusts Harry is giving you.
“Good little slut.” He grabs your face, lust taking over the both of you like you’re teenagers.
His pace doesn’t let up, and he stares at you with half lidded eyes.
“Spit in my mouth.” You beg, not even sure where the fucking thought was from before it came out of your lips.
“God… fuck— open your mouth.” He grunts, tilting his head to angle his lips to yours.
You open it, sticking your tongue out a little past your bottom lip, ready to catch anything that would drip given the fact you’re still on top of him.
He purses his lips, gathering up his saliva and dropping it down onto your tongue.
It was fucking feral, and you loved every second of it.
It tasted of him, and you swallowed it without even being asked.
Just watching that happen had him fucking you like it was his sole purpose in life. His thrusts became despeate for you.
You shook with anticipation, “I’m— I’m gonna come!”
“Yes… fuck yes. Come on, baby, finish all over my cock.”
His words were your breaking point, your cunt clenching so hard around him that he groaned aloud.
“Fuckfuckfuck— make me come, Y/N.” before he started to pulsate in you, putting his load deep into your pussy.
Having it happen almost all at once prolonged your orgasm, making you continue to moan and writhe in his grip for what felt like forever. Squeezing him until he had nothing left to give you.
Once you slowly both regained your awarenesses, you stayed on top of him. Sweaty and sticky, but you stayed close as possible to him.
You couldn’t fathom that just happened.
“Harry…” you whispered, and he hummed to the quiet chant of his name.
“Thank you. Thank you so much.”
“Stop thanking me baby. You did just as much for me.” He smiles into your cheek.
He brought his arms up to cage you to his chest, “and it’s so nice to be holding you.”
You move to kiss his lips, gently sucking his bottom one into your mouth. Lulling your tongue over it, letting it go with a pop.
“I haven’t felt this present in… in months.” You say quietly.
“Neither have I. Y’make me feel safe. Which might sound odd, but s’true.” He glances at you, watching you smile at his words.
“Im so glad we did that.” You make sure he knows you don’t have a single regret in following through with everything.
“Once we’re showered, gonna have a serious conversation about the fact you asked me to spit in your mouth.” He chuckles.
You flushed, not sure whether to be embarrassed about it or not.
“Got a little uhm.. carried away.” You tried to justify.
“Don’t worry, don’t worry,” he laughs, indicating he was just teasing, “thought it was so hot. Just never would have expected it.”
“I wanna know what else you’re into, yknow.” He licks his lips.
“What other dirty little secrets your hiding up in that head of yours.”
You shake your head, “shut up.”
“M’serious. We’ve got a lot of time to kill.” He’s still chuckling, hand coming to stroke through your hair.
“And I loved that. Loved feeling you so close. You’re a dream.” He pecks your cheek again.
“Make me some of your good cooking and I’ll think about it.” You joke.
“But really…” you pause, “thank you too, H. That meant everything to me.”
He didn’t reply with words, they wouldn’t be enough, so he just kissed you. Kissed you with every ounce of his being.
———
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norrizzandpia · 6 months
Text
Lacy (Part 2) (Oscar Ending) (LN4 and OP81)
Summary: It might not be the happy ending he was expecting, but it’s a happy ending nonetheless.
Warnings: language, sexual conversations
Note: guys… this might be the most beautiful thing I have ever read and while I usually dont like to gloat, THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOD GRAB THOSE TISSUES BECAUSE I WAS EVEN TEARING UP DURING THIS bro good luck to yall this is so rough
Note (part 2): ALSO this is the Oscar endgame ending, the lando ending will be published tmrw!!! I just wanted to get this one out first because i know the majority of people are waiting for the osc ending BUT ITS COMING TO THE LANDO GIRLIES I SWEAR <3
Note (part 3): also i will be posting screenshots of the anons I used for this whole storyline in a seperate post so be on the lookout for that after the lando ending comes out
There was never quiet. Quiet entailed her mind not racing with thoughts of Lando and her body to rid itself of the physical pain she was feeling. It was numbing, how hard the hurt hit her. Nothing had ever hurt her in that way. It was a sinking feeling, something that felt so incredibly serious and dark, she was too distraught to get out of bed.
The first few weeks were incredibly hard. She had a hard time eating, sleeping, and everything in between. If it hadn’t been for Lando telling Oscar to go check up on her, probably no one would have thought twice about her. The first time he saw her, the Australian quietly knocking on her door, he was terrified.
Y/n had been the first friend he made at McLaren. Surprisingly, it wasn’t Lando or his engineer, it was Y/n. Maybe it was because she was lonely herself, but the two had grown closer over the time he had been driving at McLaren, getting close enough for her to learn the real reason why he left Alpine in the way he did and him getting to understand the deep mess that was her and Lando. He never agreed with the way Lando treated her, but who was he to say anything? All he could do was sit off to the side and try to subtly comfort her when he made her feel unimportant.
Nevertheless, to walk into her apartment and see the state it was in as well as her dark eye bags and frail frame, Oscar was concerned. That morning he had coaxed her back to bed before making her breakfast, sitting with her on her mattress and making sure she ate every last bit. He had been so worried for her, he canceled his plans that day and cooked her every meal, fed her every snack, and, in between, watched the most outrageous reality TV he had ever seen.
Then, it became a routine.
He would show up at her apartment early in the morning to make breakfast with her before going on a long walk. Then, they’d come back, watch a movie and he’d have to leave, saddening, but not too much seeing as they both knew he’d be back in the night to make her dinner and lay her back in bed when she fell asleep on the couch after their reality TV show binge.
Then, somehow, feelings arose.
Oscar wasn’t sure when they developed, but one moment he was watching her laugh and thinking how happy he was to see that pretty sign of happiness on her face. After he recognized that, he continued to recognize how he always stayed late enough, no matter what time, that she fell asleep on his shoulder and he had to pick her up, wrap her in his arms, and lay her back in bed. He recognized how his hand constantly reached out for hers on walks when cars would fly so quickly past them and, for a split second, he became protective.
He wanted his feelings to stop, to not be real, because of Lando. However, the boy continued to date Luisinha even after everything that happened with Y/n, something Oscar was completely filled in on one night when Y/n began to sob to him about her inner turmoil.
It wasn’t until their feelings truly came out that Oscar realized there was no way he could push them down any longer, not when she loved him too.
It had been a peaceful Sunday night, one without the stressors of racing or work, just the two of them with full bellies glued next to each other on her couch, watching another stupid episode of Love Island.
Her head had been laying on his chest and his arms had been slung around her body, pulling her into him so unbelievably close. When a particular scene came on, the two girls and one guy yelling at each other because he had manipulated both of them into thinking he loved them both, Oscar noticed his shirt getting a bit wet. His eyes averted away from the TV, down to her, only to find her cheeks wet and her hands quickly wiping away the tears.
“Y/n, what’s wrong?” He whispered, hands rubbing her back gently.
She shook her head, sitting up to rest her elbows on her knees, “It’s nothing. Just their situation.”
It took him a moment to realize, but once he did, he was quick to wrap his arms back around her, “It reminds you of you and Lando.”
“Yeah, but not in the way you think.” His eyebrows furrowed at her response.
“What do you mean?”
She pulled away, eyes staring back at him deeply, “It’s just that- I feel so bad for the girl that had to go through all of that. I feel sad for the girl I was six months ago. I’ve moved on from the pain he caused, but I haven’t moved on from how broken that girl had been. She didn’t deserve that. I didn’t deserve any of that.”
He shook his head, his eyes watering at the thing he had been trying to convince her of all this time, “No, you didn’t. You never did.”
Their faces had been so close, with his arms still strongly wrapped around her and hers curled up in his chest. It was inevitable, truly, when he leaned in slightly, silently asking her if he could. When she nudged her nose against his, he let his body do the one thing he had been wishing for for as long as he had known her.
Kissing her was unlike anything he had ever experienced. It was soft and needy, but greedy at the same time seeing as this had been something they both had clearly been suppressing for so long. His hands tangled in her hair, he pulled away just a bit, “I don’t think we should do this.”
She tilted her head, “Why?”
“Because of him. I mean, you’re in a fragile state. I don’t want to take advantage of you.”
She shook her head immediately, “No, Oscar. You’re not. I got over what he did to me and the feelings I had for him months ago when I realized everything I ever wanted was right in front of me.”
Her eyes bore into his, inferring that he was everything she had ever wanted, yet he still seemed hesitant.
Sighing, she linked her hands around his neck, “Do you love me? Because I love you.”
Her words took the air out of his lungs, nodding vigorously, “Of course, I love you.”
Nudging her nose against his once more, “Then kiss me, Osc.”
It was the way she said his name. So gently, with so much love, that pushed him to throw caution to the wind and get his girl. He kissed her fervently, giving her everything he had, as she reciprocated every feeling. It was euphoric, the way they accepted each other, and when they had sex that night, slow and passionate, it was the exact same.
Waking up next to her, Oscar knew that he could never go back.
Lando’s opinion would never matter because the girl curled up in his chest deserved the world and the fact that Lando never saw that, well, that was on him.
LANDO’S POV
I had done this. I had pushed them together. I asked Oscar to check up on her because I was too much of a coward to do it myself.
Oscar’s voice rings in my head like a fucking reminder of everything I missed.
“I love her, mate. I hope this doesn’t change anything between us, but me and her are going to give it a try. Whether you like it or not.” His words spit out, the image of them together the only thing in my head as he tries to break the news.
Putting on my best smile and hoping the regret doesn’t seep through, I say, “Nah, it’s good, Oscar. Have fun with her.”
He’s immediately visibly taken aback.
“That’s all you have to say?” He questions, suddenly my answer feels too informal, as if he hadn’t just taken away the one thing I’ve needed my entire life.
I nod, “Yeah, what else should I say?”
He scoffs, standing up, his demeanor shifting to something I have never seen from him, “Lando, you’re a fucking dumbass. ‘Have fun with her’? That’s fucking slimy. You talk about her like you didn’t almost cheat on your girlfriend with her. You talk about her like you didn’t take advantage of the feelings you knew she had for you. How do you not care about her?”
Standing up, I yell, “What do you want me to say?! Of fucking course, I care about her, Oscar! But, do you want me to say that to you?! You just told me you’re going to date my ex whether I liked it or not! There’s nothing to say!”
He shook his head, “First of all, she’s your ex-best friend, dickhead. Don’t get that shit twisted. You never got to love her like I do. Second of all, there should be something to say. In fact, I reckon you haven’t even apologized to her yet. Where’s the fucking apology?! You toyed with her for years and dropped her like that shit was easy. You completely ghosted her after almost telling her you loved her!”
I exhaled, so fucking tired of being reminded of the ways in which I lost her, of how I treated her. I’ll never be able to articulate it well, the shit mess I created and why, but, at least, I can understand it. I know I loved her. I know I love her. I know that will never change. And I know that I had been so stupidly confused on how in love with her I was, I pushed her away to the brink of loss.
“I’ve taken your relationship announcement well. Now, please get out of my apartment. I’m not interested in hearing another person's disappointment in the way I treated her. I hear it enough from myself.”
Oscar shook his head, keys jingling in his hand as he typed a quick message on his phone and walked to the door, “It’ll never be enough. You can’t be blamed for what you put her through enough. It’s fucking absurd you sleep at night.”
With that, he shut the door.
“I don’t sleep at night,” I mumbled.
THIRD PERSON POV
Oscar’s hand yanked open the driver’s seat door. Crouching down and getting in the car, he leaned over the console and kissed his girlfriend.
His hand gently on her back, she smiled, “How’d it go with him?”
He didn’t have the heart to tell her the fight he and Lando got into, simply smiling and kissing her again, “It went as well as it could.”
Her eyebrows furrowed as she let out a giggle, “So, not good?”
Detaching from her and starting the ignition, he smiled, “That doesn’t concern you, love.”
She rolled her eyes playfully, looking out the window as he drove away, “I think it does considering it revolves around me.”
He laughed, his hand on her thigh, “The world doesn’t revolve around you,” He said in a singsong voice, joking along with her.
Her head reared to look at his side profile, faux astonishment, “Yes, it does.”
He glanced at her, his charming smile making her blush, “Yes, it does.”
LANDO’S POV
I had to find an escape somehow. I needed a way out of here. I couldn’t be here any longer and watch his hands on her, them being glued to her hips, as she laughed at his jokes and kissed his cheeks. I hate how perfect they are together. I hate how much more he makes her laugh and how much she smiles around him. I loathe how much better of a driver he is, how much everyone loves him, how much she loves him, I hate him because there’s nothing to hate about him, yet he has her, the one thing I had but stupidly lost, so I just detest the sight of him. He has everything I don’t have and more, it plagues me at night. He can give her so much more than I ever could’ve, and yet, I still find myself trying to figure out ways to get her back.
She was mine first, that should count for something right?
Nonetheless, I can’t stand it in this garage anymore. Their happiness, especially after having just broken up with Luisinha, makes me sick.
Walking the paddock, I try to spot the infamous red. Maybe Carlos can talk me out of this deep hole I’ve dug myself, maybe he can bring me back, even though no one has. The only person who could have the capability to build me back up again is her, it’s Y/n.
She’ll always be my lifeline.
I’m close to his room when I hear my name flood through the cracked door of Charles’ room.
“I just don’t understand how Lando fucked up so bad,” He says, words coming out quickly as if they had been on his tongue for so long.
Suddenly, Max’s voice pops through and the Red Bull driver says the sentence that I never wanted to hear out loud, “Yeah, exactly. It was so clear she loved him and he just threw it away because of another girl? Luisinha was sweet, but she wasn’t Y/n, and I sure as hell preferred Y/n to her. Y/n was perfect for Lando and I’m sad they didn’t work out, but have you seen how happy she is with Oscar?”
Their hurtful words continue as Charles lets out an agreeing hum, “Oh yeah. She’s been through so much, specifically with everything between her and Lando, you can tell she really loves him. You can tell he’s really good for her. I think it’s the stability and gentleness he’s showing her that makes the difference. With Lando, it was all up and down like a rollercoaster, but, with Oscar, it’s so apparent he just loves her and shows her everyday, something Lando never did.”
I feel the tears welling in my eyes as I take their analyses in.
He can’t be better for her than me. Y/n and I have always been destined for each other, how can one guy swoop in and change all of that? I will always love Y/n harder, that has to count for something.
Right?
It’s the expensive dates. That has to be the reason she’s so enthralled with him.
The pictures I scroll through on his Instagram of their quiet date night make me want to dig my own grave. A photo of his hand in hers; a photo of her smiling at the camera so big it looks as if he had said something sweet to her and caught her genuine reaction, a beautiful candid of a beautiful girl; a photo of them kissing in front of a fountain, her hand on his shoulder as she leans up to meet his lips.
It’s all too much.
I hate how much they mesh together and how big he makes her smile. I hate the fact that he has bigger muscles than me and a nicer car.
I hate it all.
As if to add salt in the wound, Oscar’s smiling face walks through the door, his body plopping down on the couch across from me as he sits next to Andrea and the two start talking.
“How’s Y/n?” Andrea asks, completely unaware of how sensitive I am to her name.
Oscar nods, “She’s great! I dropped her off at work this morning after we had breakfast in her apartment.”
Andrea wiggles his eyebrows, sexual innuendos on the tip of his tongue and I want someone to come take out my brain, so it could stop picturing him pleasuring her like he knows her body better than I do.
“So, you sleep at her house now?” Andrea says, chuckling.
Oscar laughs along with him as my heart tears straight down the middle, “We jump around between each other’s places. Some nights I sleep at hers, some nights she’ll sleep at mine. Really, it just depends on where we go for dinner the night before. If the place is closer to my house, then we end up there and vice versa.”
Andrea nods and smiles, oblivious to my presence, “That sounds like a good time.”
Oscar side eyes him and they both fall into a fit of giggles, Andrea waving his hands in the air as he says, “Not what I meant!”
Oscar nods, “No, I get what you mean. My mind is just dirtier now after spending so much time with her. My girlfriend is not for the pure. Every two seconds, she has some random sex joke ready.”
The words “my girlfriend” out of his mouth is what sends me over the edge.
“Can you shut the fuck up?” I say, standing up and causing a scene.
Oscar’s face hardens as he meets my position, “What’s with you?”
I shake my head, “You’re rubbing it in my face and you know it.”
He shrugs, “So, what if I am? A little guilt does you good after the shit you pulled.”
Finally, after the emotional build up, I yell, “I GET IT! I SCREWED THE FUCK UP! I UNDERSTAND I RUINED HER LIFE AND I RUINED MINE! YOU DON’T NEED TO SIT HERE AND MAKE IT KNOWN EVERY FIVE SECONDS! I CAN’T FUCKING STAND IT ANYMORE!”
Oscar fires back, “YOU DIDN’T RUIN HER FUCKING LIFE BECAUSE YOU NEVER HAD THAT HOLD ON HER. YOU FUCKING HURT HER. THAT’S IT. ALL ANYBODY EVER WANTED FROM YOU WAS AN APOLOGY AND YOU CAN’T FUCKING GET IT OUT. SO, YEAH, I’LL RUB IT IN YOUR FACE. MAYBE THAT WILL GET YOU TO REALIZE WHAT YOU LOST.”
Pushing him, “I DO KNOW WHAT I’VE LOST.”
He pushes me back, my feet stumbling when he yells, “REALLY? BECAUSE IT SURE AS HELL DOESN’T SEEM THAT WA-”
“ENOUGH.” My dad’s voice cuts through, his hands coming to rest on both of our chests.
His gaze is fiery as he levels us, “This has gone on for two long. You two are supposed to be a team. It’s not good for anyone when you fight this way. So, do everybody a favor and grow the fuck up. Act like the professional adults you are.”
The two of us seem to be scared enough to comply and, as my father walks out of the room, he stops in the threshold to turn around and stare at me.
“And, Lando?”
“Yes, dad?”
“Fucking apologize.”
THIRD PERSON POV
The knocking at Y/n’s door has her smiling. Feet pattering quickly against the floor, she flings it open.
“Osc! What are you doing he-” Her voice cuts off when her eyes land on Lando.
Her gaze turns icy and she closes the door slightly, “What are you doing here?”
“Please, just hear me out.”
The urgency in his voice has her sighing and opening the door, letting him in yet not letting him back into her heart.
He sets down the flowers he got her on the counter, twiddling his thumbs as his nerves swallow him whole.
“Just say it, Lando.” Her arms cross over her chest as his eyebrows furrow and he truly meets her gaze for the first time since he’s been there.
“What do you mean?” He shakes his head.
“I know you love me and I know you came here to tell me that, to see if you still had a chance.” She says slowly, flashbacks of that night out on that Monaco street falling back into their brains. However, now, the tables have turned.
He nods, “Of course, I love you. I always have, Y/n. So, do I still have a chance?”
A silence falls over them as she stares at him, her eyes seemingly challenging him for whatever reason, before she exhales a breath and says, “Instead of stringing you along like you did to me so cruelly all those years, I’ll be 100% transparent with you. I do not love you anymore. I finally have found someone who cherishes every moment with me, who loves me no matter what. I don’t feel scared everyday that Oscar’s going to wake up one day and decide he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, and I know I’ll never have to be scared of that. That’s what love is, Lando. That’s what I wanted with you a year and a half ago, but you screwed that up. None of that was ever on me. You knew I loved you and instead of talking to me about it, you harbored that information, got a girlfriend, shoved it in my face, and then tried to tell me you loved me when I was at my most vulnerable. How fucking fucked up? It doesn’t matter if you’ve always loved me or if you continue to. I’ve found someone who gives me everything I’ve ever wanted and more without ever having to ask. I won’t take that for granted like you did. I never had any of that with you and I never will, which is okay because, frankly, I don’t want it with you anymore. So, I’m going to do what you should’ve done that night when I was drunk. I’m going to tell you that I don’t love you and that it’s time to move on because we both know our friendship never would’ve worked as anything more than that. You always wanted me to be your friend, there when you needed me, however you needed me. I was never going to be that for you long term and it’s crazy you ever thought I would’ve. But, that’s not the point anymore. The point is I don’t feel the same way about you and, instead of trying to cheat on the man I love the most, the man who never deserves that, I’m going to tell you to get out of my apartment because we were always destined to be over.”
Lando stands, speechless, on the other side of her kitchen table, taking in the words that completely destroyed his being.
He seems to drown in his tears as his mouth opens and closes, searching for something to say.
“How can Oscar be better than me?” He questions, the inquiry falling from his lips before he has time to realize he doesn’t want to know the answer.
Her answer is quick, “He loves me openly.”
Nodding, Lando leaves the flowers he knows are her favorite on the surface, opting to make his way toward the door as quickly as possible seeing as he’s on the verge of a breakdown.
When they reach the door, she opens it and gives him a soft smile, “I’m sorry for what you’re about to go through. It’s absolute shit, but you’ll get through it. I did. And, maybe, you’ll be as lucky as me to find your soulmate in the healing process.”
“For what it’s worth, I’m so sorry for everything I put you through.” He states, genuinely.
She smiles back at him, “Thank you.”
His tears freely fall down his face as he memorizes her face. It’s so at peace, he finally sees why Oscar is perfect for her. In the time he was with her, Lando never saw her this calm, this happy. Oscar brings out a side of her, a healthy side of her, that he never could have, something he would just have to come to terms with.
His walk back to the elevator after she gently sent him away is heavy. His chest feels constricted and his hands feel sweaty as the steel box takes him down floors. When he reaches the first one and steps out, his eyes catch the infamous papaya colors to his side. What he finds is Oscar standing, waiting for an elevator a few ways down with flowers in his hands. Her favorite ones, the ones Lando had just brought to her. His leg bounces as he eagerly waits for it to open and, when it does, he bolts into it.
No matter how hard Lando finds it to breathe, the knowledge that that is the man he leaves Y/n to is comforting.
Truly comforting.
End.
A/N: Thank you for all the love on Lacy. It truly means everything to me when it comes to the support you guys show my writing. I want to become an author, so the love helps build my confidence with the idea of showing the other, non-fanfiction works I have to publishing companies. Truly, truly, truly, truly, truly, thank you.
Tags: @cxcewg @luvrrish @f1enthusiastsstuff @loxbbg @allabouthappiness @mirrorball-6 @mineandneveryours @tpwkstiles @gaypoetsblog @itsjustkhaos @n7ytiri @eviethetheatrefreak @hood-jabi @ushygushybaby @dessxoxsworld @minkyungseokie @prettyisntprettyenough21 @what-is-happening-helpp @im-an-overthinker @buendiabebeta @milena2928-blog @amalialeclerc @hiraishua @scopeiguess @oosnapitskat
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redr0sewrites · 2 months
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Bestie, heard your cry for requests, no worries. Adam and Lute brainrot is real 😭. Perhaps something with Adam and Lute having this sort of crush on the gn!Reader who’s probably a member of the exorcist army. Like they both develop feeling for the person separately but once they find out, it goes into the direction of polycule? Love your writing and hope this helps!
THIS REQUEST>>>> EVERYTHING ELSE
🥀Cw: poly!guitarspear x reader, fluff
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both adam and lute having a crush on you is definitely an accomplishment, and its both the best and most infuriating thing to ever happen to you
if you're in the exorcist army then you're def interacting with them alot, but no matter where you are in heaven there's always at least one of them at your side
adam would fall first, and he'd start shamelessly flirting with you
whenever you were training he would come over and bother you, he'd use the cringiest pickup lines and call you every pet name under the sun
adam lays it on THICK, he really wants you to like him
lute just couldn't understand why it bothered her so much- i mean, adam had flirted with a lot of people before, right? why did she care if it was you?
her feelings hit her like a truck
the two of you were just relaxing together, and she couldn't help but realize how truly beautiful you were
after seeing what adam sees in you, she lowkey started to get jealous
adam caught on pretty quickly that she liked you, and it soon turned into a competition of sorts
adam and lute are close friends, but when it comes to you, they definitely have a petty "rivalry" going down
adam will purposefully send lute away so he can flirt chat with you, and in turn lute will rat on him to sera about how he's not getting his work done
meanwhile you're just sitting there having a bi-panic over the two of them
eventually you sit them down and have a convo about how you like both of them, which eventually leads to them agreeing to share you
however i genuinely think that they both have feelings for eachother too, and those would probably come to light once the three of you are in a relationship
once you three are officially together, they both dote on you SO much
adam is definitely more outgoing, and his love languages are quality time and physical touch. in contrast, lute's a bit more private, and her love language is definitely acts of service through and through
this leads to interesting dates for the three of you, some nights you're all crashing at one of your apartments and bingeing shitty movies, other nights your going out to clubs and dancing your hearts out
adam is so cuddly, and while she pretends that she isn't, so is lute
yall def have full on cuddling sessions where you all just lay together (usually on top of adam)
yall have the cutest mornings together!!!!! lute is def an early riser, and she methodically gets up at the same time every morning
meanwhile adam is pretty much a wildcard, sometimes he'll stay up ridiculously late and end up sleeping in until noon, and then other nights he'll crash super early and then wake up pretty early too. then sometimes he'll just pull all nighters and you and lute will come downstairs to find him curled up on the couch
lute works out in the mornings and will probably go on a quick morning run before coming back inside and getting ready. she often will help you get ready and will lay out things you need for the day. adam is usually the last person ready, he's always begging for one more minute of sleep!
yall r literally just so domestic
yall split chores too, lute usually does the cooking, adam does the laundry and clears dishes/plates, and then you do whatever other chores that are necessary. you all rotate when it comes to cleaning tasks such as sweeping, mopping, dusting, etc and while adam will sometimes pout, he actually does clean up after himself
adam and lute are both protective in different ways, and everyone in heaven knows not to mess with you
adam is more of the jealous type, and will get protective if he thinks someone else is flirting with you
meanwhile lute is more of the "worried about your safety" type, and will get more protective if she thinks you're in danger
overall, yall are genuinely such a power couple and you really have a sweet, adorable dynamic
I WILL MAKE A PT 2 WITH NSFW HCS. ALSO PT 2 OF THE ADAM FIC IS COMING SOON I SWEAR IM SORRY FOR KEEPING YALL WAITING😭
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ayyy-pee · 10 days
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𝔼𝕡𝕚𝕤𝕠𝕕𝕖 𝟘.𝟝 - 𝕋𝕠𝕠 𝕄𝕦𝕔𝕙 𝕥𝕠 𝔻𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕜
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Discord 18+ - Twitter
Pairing: JJK Men x Female Reader
Episode Summary: After a drunken night of binge watching your (least?) favorite show, you find yourself making a grave mistake.
STORY TWIST: READERS WILL VOTE AFTER CERTAIN CHAPTERS TO CHOOSE WHO GETS A ROSE AND MAKES IT TO THE NEXT WEEK. KEEP A LOOKOUT FOR THE VOTING LINK AT THE END OF CHAPTERS
Story Warning: DRAMA, lying and scheming, REVERSE HAREM, profanity bc I can only be me, arguments, fights probably, heartbreak and tears, (more to come)
Artist Credit: momoya348, Umbra3terna, ilameys,maoyaoyao519, _0_0219 Divider Credit: Cafekitsune (Tumblr)
A/N: IT'S FINALLY HEREEEEEE! I hope you guys enjoy this ride (that you're in charge of in later chapters!!!) I'll put up Episode 1 tomorrow after proofreading!!! <3
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“God, this show is so stupid,” you mutter, shoving a handful of popcorn into your mouth while you get settled onto the couch.
“Please…It’s so bad, but I tune in to every season.”
You glance over when your friend reaches into your lap and dips her fingers into your bowl of popcorn and grabs a few kernels.
That was the perfect way to describe what was happening now. You’re currently huddled up on the couch, having spent the day binging the most recent season of The Bachelor until you’re all caught up. The new episode airs tonight and you’re eager to see who Joey ends up picking. Will it be Rachel? She’s gorgeous, funny, and her family seems to really get along with this season’s Bachelor. They have great chemistry. Or maybe it will be Daisy? Though you couldn’t see that working out. The girl is a total bore. Or it could be…what’s her name again? The one who looks a little bit like she could be his sister. Ah, whatever.
You’re not sure when you really began to even give a shit about this mess of a show. It’s corny. No one falls in love within a few weeks of knowing each other. And why does one man or woman need to date twenty people to find someone to marry? Are they that unlikeable in the real world? Not to mention, it’s totally unrealistic. Do these relationships even work out once the cameras cut off? Unlikely. You find the entire premise of the show downright stupid.
And yet, you can’t tear your eyes away as this season’s Bachelor takes each girl out on an extravagant date that…you can’t lie, you would love to be on.
Dancing in Malta? Sunbathing on a yacht off the coast of Spain? Getting to see Niagara Falls up close? Sign you up. You don’t think you would stand a chance being the object of everyone’s affection, but you could definitely milk being a contestant for free trips and good food.
“Why can’t he see that Rachel is the best pick here? Ugh, annoying. You know he’s going to give what’s-her-name the last rose.” Your friend downs her wine in one swig and you don’t bother to hold back the laugh bubbling in your chest. She’s all red faced. You’re not sure if it’s from how passionate she is about the show or from the two empty bottles of merlot she’s managed to down practically on her own, but the glowing hue it gives her highlights the thick scar across her face. A product of her line of work, and said line of work being the reason she’s guzzling wine in the first place.
“Maybe take it easy on the drinks, Utahime.”
She hiccups next to you, slouching in her seat. “I haven’t even had that much to drink!”
“You’ve had most of the wine just on your own!”
“Oh my god, you have one or nine glasses of wine and suddenly you’re wasted,” she mutters sarcastically. “I’m fine.”
You roll your eyes, because you know there’s no going back and forth with her stubborn ass when she starts drinking. 
The living room dims for about three seconds before it lights back up, the show now having gone on commercial break. The rose ceremony is next and despite shit-talking the show only ten minutes ago, you’re eager for the commercials to wrap up so you can see who goes home. It better not be Rachel. You use this brief intermission to go and get some water for yourself but mostly Utahime so she can sober up.
This has been your routine for the last few weeks. Every Monday night, Utahime comes over, peels you out of your bed and forces you on the couch to chug alcohol and watch this ridiculous show. While you find the entire premise of the show nonsensical, you’re grateful for the time it’s given you with Utahime.
You’re fairly new to the Kyoto area and Utahime was the first person you’d met on your first day at your new – how can you put this? – unique job. You see, you and Utahime both work in the field of Jujutsu sorcery. But there’s about where your similarities in the field stop.
Utahime is an active Sorcerer. She’s an instructor raising up the next generation of Sorcerers, building them up so that they can one day join the frontlines to protect the unaware non-Sorcerers of Japan. She’s strong– a grade 1 Sorcerer. Quite impressive. She could easily knock a curse’s head off if she wanted to.
But you? Well, while Utahime is at the top of the ranks of Jujutsu society, you are what some would refer to as a bottomfeeder – an unranked, unimportant, lowly Window. You’re someone who has just enough cursed energy to see a curse. But can you do anything about them? Not unless you want to end up in the nearest trauma center. So if you’re smart, you’ll do your job and whip your phone out to report it so that the real Sorcerers can handle it.
You’ve been in this field for several years now, but working outside of the major cities of Japan. Transferring to Kyoto was your idea of wanting something new and different. Utahime had quickly taken you under her wing. You were certain it was because she took pity on you. A weak, barely gifted Window. But as time went on, you came to realize that that was just Utahime. She was kind and funny, and had a good heart. Well, except when it came to –
“Hey!” Utahime calls from her spot on the couch. You can hear a slur in her words as she speaks and you know she’s opened yet another bottle of wine from who knows where. “Come here! Look at this!” You peer at the television from the doorway of your kitchen and see Utahime has it paused on a very ugly ad. It’s bright white with a background full of red rose petals across the screen. Your eyes roam over the words.
“THE SEARCH IS ON FOR THE ELIGIBLE WOMEN WHO ARE READY TO FIND TRUE LOVE! DO YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW HAVE THE CHARM, STYLE, AND PERSONALITY TO BE OUR NEXT STAR? IF SO, APPLY OR NOMINATE SOMEONE NOW!”
“Will you hurry up? Come look!” Utahime demands, messily pouring more wine into her glass. But it looks like a normal advertisement to you, so you’re not entirely sure what has Utahime’s interest so piqued.
She beckons you again, yelling “Come here!” So you quickly grab a couple bottles of water from your fridge and head back. Utahime is pointing insistently at the screen. “Look. Look really hard.”
You follow the path where her finger points, shuffling closer to the t.v. to get a clearer look. It takes a moment for you to see it, like really see it, but it’s definitely there. Underneath the last line, hidden from the eyes of those unable to see the horrors that you and those like Utahime can, is another message. You fall to your knees, eyes glued to the tiny additional message floating beneath, glowing with cursed energy that reads, “JUJUTSU SorcererS PREFERRED”. 
Confusion slowly takes over your features, the corners of your lips turning down with a frown, a brow arched and skepticism in your eyes. Were you missing something? Was this some sick joke? Were Jujutsu Sorcerers huge fans of The Bachelor or something? You spin around to face your friend who has a look of mischief twinkling in her eyes. You know it all too well, mouth falling open and a finger pointing when you scream “NO” at the exact moment Utahime yells “YOU SHOULD APPLY!”
“Absolutely not!” You must be looking at Utahime like she’s grown two more heads because she looks just as confused as you.
“Why not?! You’d be great on there!”
Maybe she hasn’t grown two more heads. Maybe her brain was swapped while you were in the kitchen because why the hell was she suggesting this?
“Well, for starters, I’m not really looking to date.”
Utahime rolls her eyes, as if that’s just not a good enough excuse. You should just ignore her, snatch the remote from her hand and hit play so you can get back to the show and see who this guy chooses to potentially get engaged to. But for some reason (could be the single drop of wine your friend allowed you to have while she downed the rest), you feel the need to keep listing off reasons to not sign up. “Secondly, I– why would I even want to go on this show?”
Utahime sips her wine, eyes low as she falls into her drunkenness, but you can still see the sparkle of mischief in those brown hues…and it scares you. So you keep talking, chatting away and listing excuse after excuse to your friend, eventually finding yourself back on the couch trying to drive your final point home.
“Besides, they want Sorcerers.” This seems to get Utahime’s attention again, makes her set her glass down as she looks at you.
“I’m sure it’s fine. You are a Sorcerer.”
“I’m a Window.”
“Semantics. You can see curses, can’t you?” Utahime argues.
“...yes.” You shift uncomfortably in your seat. “But I can’t do anything about them.”
It’s not something you should be ashamed of, but there’s just the tiniest bit of you that is ashamed. Because being able to see these monsters and not having the power to do anything about them…well, it feels like a curse in and of itself.
To this, she sighs. “Sorcerers, Windows. They’re just terms used by the higher-ups to keep their stupid, fucked up heirarchy intact.”
You know it’s the wine that’s loosened her tongue. In public, Utahime would not dare to speak so freely. The Jujutsu politics in Kyoto were a lot stricter than they were in Tokyo. Not that that said much anyway. The politics were shit regardless. But Utahime worked closely with those connected to the higher-ups, so outside of this little bubble in your apartment, she kept pretty hush hush about her true feelings.
You watch Utahime closely as she fiddles with her wine glass. She really is beautiful. You think she’d be incredible on a show like this. Which gives you the idea.
“What don’t you apply?”
Utahime leans back, a cackle so loud and abrupt leaving her tiny body.
“No way. I would never date any of these Sorcerers.”
“And you want me to?!” You ask incredulously. You don’t know whether to be offended or not.
Your friend fixes you with a deadpan stare. “You don’t know them the way I do. The only good one out of all of them is Nanami Kento…and Shoko.” She mutters the last name quietly, like it’s a secret that she thinks so highly of her. And maybe it is a secret…the way she feels about the doctor in Tokyo who you couldn’t help but notice has Utahime’s cheeks glowing red whenever she’s mentioned.
“Besides,” Utahime continues. “If I signed up for this and got paired with Gojo –” she shudders at the mere thought of being near the man. “I don’t think I’d be able to keep myself from projectile vomiting just at the prospect of having to kiss him.”
It’s your turn to laugh obnoxiously now, because – “Why the hell would the strongest Sorcerer in a thousand years sign up for this shit? You don’t think he has anything better to do? Like, you know…keep all of Japan safe?”
“Satoru Gojo does whatever Satoru Gojo wants.”
You can’t argue with that. Utahime would know best. She did grow up with him after all. She knew him well. You’ve never met the man, being just a Window, you doubt you ever will. Out of all the Sorcerers, you’ve only ever met Utahime and Principal Gakuganji. You’ve never even met any of the students. You all run in different circles, but that doesn't mean you don’t keep up with the going-ons of the Jujutsu world. Everyone knows Satoru Gojo.
“You should really sign up, though,” Utahime suggests once more. “You might meet a good person. If anything, you’ll get a good vacation out of it.” With that, she stands. It’s clear that the wine is hitting her again, because she wobbles clumsily to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.
If it’s anything like every other week before this, you’ll be peeling Utahime out of your bathtub because she will have inevitably fallen asleep.
Your eyes fall back on the hidden message on the television, reading it over and over before you finally just hit play and let the finale finish.
Joey chooses whatever that girl’s name is. You’re only halfway paying attention because against your better judgment, you’re actually thinking about applying to this. But you think the show is stupid, right? Why would you waste your time? But what if Utahime is right? What if you do meet someone? It’s not that you’re against dating. You’re just not actively in the market for romance because you’ve found that dating non-Sorcerers is more stress than it’s worth.
The constant obligation you feel to regulate their emotions so you can avoid the creation of a cursed spirit that you’ll have to call in and do paperwork for? Exhausting. Not to mention, if you ever grew to truly love this person, you’d be overwhelmed with guilt if a curse manifested and harmed them in any way and you couldn’t do anything but watch in horror as you made a phone call.
You’d never really given any thought to it, but perhaps dating a Sorcerer is what you needed. You could end up meeting an amazing man!
But also, semantics or not, you were not technically a Sorcerer. You were simply a Window. Why the hell would an actual Sorcerer want to be with you? Better yet, what were the chances of this show even choosing you as their next Bachelorette?
- - - - - -
Apparently, the chances were extremely high, because one phone call, four video interviews, a nearly five hour drive from Kyoto to Tokyo, and days of promotional video and photo shoots later, you find yourself standing outside of the Bachelor Mansion, donning the most expensive gown that money could buy.
This is not what you expected. Not at all. There is so much going on. You want to run and hide from every single camera you see being propped up. You want to curl into yourself when the lights come on and the director calls, “Action!” And you see some man you’re just meeting for the first time approaching as he speaks directly to the camera.
“...and she’ll be making history tonight as The Bachelorette’s first Jujutsu Sorcerer,” you hear him tell the camera as he stops just a few feet short of you. Tall, blonde and handsome. He looks like an American football player. “I’m Jesse Palmer, ladies and gentleman. Now, let’s meet our Bachelorette!”
He turns to you, wearing a bright smile. The cameras follow, moving closer to catch a close-up of your face, so you smile as naturally as you can and try not to flinch when Jesse moves forward to embrace you in a swift hug.
Jesse calls your name as though you’ve been friends for a long time. “So nice to finally see you. You look great.”
The camera pans down your body and back up to your face. “Likewise, Jesse.”
“How’re you feeling?” he asks.
“I’m nervous! Definitely nervous, but feeling good! I’m so excited for this,” you lie. You’re dreading this process. But it’s too late to back out now. So you just hold your smile, conversing politely as Jesse makes small talk and gets to know you before the first contestant pulls up.
And you hope that if Utahime is watching, she sees the message behind your eyes screaming that you’re absolutely going to kill her.
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Text
Before You Go
Pairing: Dean Winchester x f!reader, Reader POV
Summary: Reader is a grad student in college trying to work hard for her degree, but a certain green eyed stranger keeps showing up and turns her life upside down. Will she push him away? Or will she finally realize that he’s not going anywhere? (I’m so bad at summaries please forgive me!)
Tropes: Angst, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Age Difference (Reader is early to mid-20's and Dean is probably early 30's)
Word Count: 5.5K (I have an addiction don't judge me)
Warnings: Some swearing (once or twice), mentions of sex (not explicit at all), implied sex, self-deprecating thoughts (Dean),  Dean might be a little bit OOC.
Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. I’m not going to lie, this one is a little self-indulgent. This is only my second supernatural fic, so please be gentle. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!
Internal monologue is in italics and is in first person.
Masterlist
Part 2
********************************************
"Did you understand anything from that lecture?" Tim asks nudging your shoulder.
 The sour smell of beer and sweat fades in and out of your nose as you make your way to the Science building through the mass of students on the way to the football game. It was a Thursday night, Thursday night for everyone else meant tailgating, cheap beer, and face paint, but Thursday night for you meant four hours in the anatomy lab surrounded by the oppressive smell of formaldehyde and bent over a table examining the internal intricacies of the human body.
It wasn’t unwelcome, you knew what you signed up for when you decided to go to medical school, but you still wished that the lab was earlier in the day instead of at 6 pm.
The air is filled with the dull throb of energy, pulsing with the music from speakers all over campus, and through the throngs of people that pass you on the way to the stadium. The buzz of excitement in the air vibrated through your nerve endings. If you paid attention to how well the football team was doing, you would have known that tonight was the championship, but the closest you got to pigskin was the bag of pork rinds in your backpack and the occasional football player that asked you for help finding research materials during your shifts at the library.
"Nope." You reply jostling past a group of guys toting a giant stuffed pig wearing jersey of the school’s rival while they catcall some girls up ahead dressed from head to toe in bright red.
"Then why did you keep nodding?"
"Because Professor Drake was staring right at me!"
"You didn't have to make eye contact."
"It's a little late for that don't you think?" You smile up at him. He's taller than you, with dark hair falling forward into his glasses and a lean build. "But it's alright, I'll just binge watch YouTube videos."
Tim laughs adjusting his backpack over his shoulder. You had been lab partners since your first year, randomly assigned and forced to collaborate, but after many late night study sessions and mental breakdowns, Tim was one of your only friends.
“You seem to spend a lot of time on YouTube." He smiles.
"It's free education."
"Seems ridiculous to pay all this money just to learn it on YouTube."
"If YouTube handed out degrees for watching videos I’d be a doctor by now. I’d probably also have a degree in culinary arts.” You look down to check the watch on your wrist. You were both running late for lab. Dr. Welsh hated it when students were late, in fact, he was notorious for locking the door. Each week there was always some poor soul that banged on the door for entry, but Dr. Welsh knew no mercy. One time, you witnessed another student attempt to sneak in through the window an hour late. Dr. Welsh made them go back out the way they came, despite the lab being on the third floor.
At least the student brought a ladder with him.
“Culinary arts?”
“I like pie. Plus baking helps me cope with my stress.” You knock into his shoulder to shut him up. “What? You don’t watch anything weird on YouTube?”
“I usually start watching videos to understand the lectures and suddenly it’s been 7 hours, it’s 3 am and I’m watching a timelapse of metal rusting.”
“We’ve all been there buddy.”
"Hey doll-face!" You hear from somewhere behind you, but you ignore it, believing it to be another group of guys who splash beer over the sidewalk.
You glance down at your watch again.
"We're not going to be late." Jake says sensing your anxiety. "We've got 5 minutes."
"Early is on time, on time is late, late is inexcusable." You sing-song.
"Dr. Welsh embroider that on a pillow for you?"
"No it’s just-"
Someone grabs your backpack and pulls you back a step. What the- You whirl around prepared to cuss out a drunken frat boy, but you weren't expecting Dean Winchester.
"Dean." You say in surprise.
He looks better than you remember. Dean's wearing a red flannel covered by a black jacket, his hair tousled just the right amount to look effortless, his green eyes crinkled around the edges as his mouth pulls into a smile that makes your knees weak.
Your relationship, if you could even call it that, began your first week of classes, two years ago. You had just moved into your apartment and met your new roommate, but instead of going out to the new student mixer with her, you decided to stay in and unpack. It was past midnight when you heard a commotion in the apartment next door and when you opened your front door to investigate, you found Dean in the hallway leaning against the wall. His clothes were torn, he had a knife in his hand, blood was soaked through the front of his shirt, but when his eyes met yours, you weren't afraid. He looked so broken, so small that you had to help him. So you pulled him into your apartment and stitched him up the best you could, while he tried to lie about how it happened and explain why he looked like he'd been through a blender. Dean had never been good at lying to you, not even then. He was also the biggest baby you had ever met when it came to wound care.
In the months that followed Dean continued to show up, each time with injuries less and less life threatening asking you to help him, until one day he showed up perfectly fine and continued to show up. You would spend every minute together for a few days and then he would leave like nothing happened, only to show up again in a few weeks and it would start all over again.  Sometimes you thought that he wanted more than just a few days together, but then he would just leave, not giving you any other explanation. You hadn't expected to fall for him as hard as you did, but each time he left it broke you. You found yourself hoping each day that he would show up, only to be disappointed when he didn't. Days would drag by fading into shades of gray until finally Dean would show up and everything went back to color, only to sink back into monochrome when he left. The last time you had seen him was a month ago, when you told him that you couldn't do this anymore and told him not to come back.
But now he was here, again.
"Hey Doll-face." Dean smiles wider.
You try to ignore how your heart stutters in your chest when he smiles at you.
"Do you know this guy?" Tim asks you taking a step forward to put himself between Dean and you.
Dean's eyes trace Tim, smile slipping into confident smirk as he sizes him up. He opens his mouth, but you interrupt whatever thought was about to come out.
"Unfortunately I do." You sigh. "Tim can you give us a minute."
"Sure. But-"
"I know." You say, understanding that he was going to remind you what time it was. "We won't be late."
"I'll be over there." Tim puts a healthy distance between the two of you, far enough to give you space, but close enough that he can see you.
Dean is still smirking at him. "Boyfriend?" His eyes flit to yours, amused.
"Lab partner." You adjust your grip on your backpack unsure what to do.
I said everything I needed to say the last time. I thought that was it. Did he think I didn't mean it?
You think about the last time he was here, when you told him that you couldn't do this anymore and when he finally left, how you skipped all your classes and stayed in bed for two days clutching a pillow to your chest and wishing that it was him. It had felt like the end. The end of whatever the hell this had been. Sometimes you wished that you had defined it the first time you slept together, wished that you had told him you didn't do that ever, that you didn't just sleep with people without feelings because you knew sooner or later it would end up like this.
Then again you knew that you always had feelings for him, since the moment you locked eyes with his the night you met.
"He’s cute. If you’re into that geeky kind of thing. Though you could always date Sam-"
"What are you doing here?"
"I was in the neighborhood. Plus I didn’t want to miss the big game.”  Dean's eyes flit to the mass of people swarming around you, shouting and singing as they stumble down the cracked pavement. The dark shadows of the buildings stretch long over campus, illuminated by the lamplights that line the sidewalks.
"You should have called"
"I did. You never pick up" He arches a perfect eyebrow.
"Most would take that as a hint"
"Well Sweetheart given my profession you not picking up made me worry."
By now you knew exactly what he did. Despite Dean not acting like he wanted a relationship, when all was quiet and it was just the two of you laying in bed he confided in you, told you things about his life that made you hold him close and wish that you could make him forget all about it. You loved those soft moments with Dean, when it felt like more and you could imagine that Dean wanted to be as wrapped up in you as you were in him.
Your heart clenches in your chest as you try to forget it all, forget the day he walked into your life, and forget how much you like him.
"I can’t do this with you right now, I’ve got a lab in 3 minutes." You turn towards where Tim is standing, prepared to leave.
"Come on you can blow off one lab.”  Dean grabs your backpack turning you back to face him. “We can go to the big game. You know I can’t say no to free beer-“ The look in his eyes is joking.
He doesn't understand.
You shake him off. "No I can't Dean. This is important to me. This is my life. I can't drop everything just because you show up out of the blue."
"It wouldn't be out of the blue if you picked up your phone." His smile dips into an attractive pout that makes it very difficult to think.
"Dean why are you here?"
"I told you, I was in the neighborhood-"
"We talked about this. I can't do this anymore."
"I remember you talking about it."
"Yes and I remember you leaving." You snap as the memory of the last time you saw him rises in the back of your throat. You think about the days that followed, when you couldn't focus and flunked a test. 
"Y/n-“ Dean sighs.
"Look, I like spending time with you, but I can't keep doing this to myself. You show up, we spend every second together for days, and then you leave. It would be one thing if we were trying to do long distance, but we’re not.  All I get is radio silence for weeks and then you show  up all over again like nothing happened, expecting to pick up right where we left off, and the cycle begins all over again."
"I don't go radio silent for weeks. It’s you that doesn’t pick up your phone or text me back.”
"Yes you do and I can't do it. I won't do it. Because every time you leave I wonder if it's the last time I'll ever see you and-" You take in a breath to stop the ball of emotion that lodges itself in your throat. "It does something to me. And I'm not saying that what you do is any less important than what I'm trying to accomplish here. I’m not telling you to stop hunting. But this is my life Dean, my future. And I don’t want to put that in jeopardy because you show up every few weeks when you’re feeling restless. I want more than a few days every few weeks. I want more and I'm worth more. And if you can't give that to me that's fine, but please stop coming around and so I can find someone else who can."
The expression on Dean's face shifts, it's no longer the playful smirk or attractive pout, it almost looks heartbroken.
But that can't be right. Dean doesn't see me that way.
You look at where Tim is waiting for you to avoid Dean's gaze. He’s looking down at the watch on his wrist and you can feel his apprehension.
"I've got to get to my lab." You turn away from Dean, but stop halfway to Tim. "It was good to see you Dean. I wish you the best."
As Tim and you begin to walk away, you can feel Dean's eyes on you the whole way up the stairs into the science building, but you refuse to turn back.
"Are you okay?" Tim whispers.
"I will be. Let's just go before Dr. Welsh locks the door." You mutter while pushing down the guilt that rose when you thought of how Dean looked when you walked away.
********************************************
Despite Dr. Welsh’s attempts to lock the door, you were far too angry with Dean to let another man stand in your way, so when you and Tim arrived to lab 10 seconds before the clock struck 6, you shoved your boot in the door before Dr. Welsh could shut it. And by some miracle he let you in. Maybe it was the murder in your eyes.
Tim had been stunned, you were usually more reserved, not quick tempered. But everything that happened with Dean rubbed you the wrong way.
You couldn’t decide if you liked him or hated him. Right now the hate was winning.
How dare he? You thought to yourself, hand clenching on the scalpel so tightly that Tim backed up. How dare he just show up again after I told him not to?
“Y/n, are you okay?” Tim had asked.
“I’m fine. Don’t I look fine?” You’d snapped at him.
Even Dr. Welsh had given you a wide berth through lab.
 After you cleaned up everything it was 10:26 pm, which meant you had a little time before your late shift in the library.
“Did you want to go see if that shawarma food truck is still parked around the corner?” Tim asks hesitantly.
“No. I’m just gonna go to the library and study before my shift.” You mumble, shouldering your backpack and ignoring the urge to think about Dean.
Hopefully he took the hint and he’s gone. The thought brought a prick of guilt. Would that be the last time I ever saw him? Would those be the last words I ever said to him? You fight the urge to call him, to apologize, because the one thing you had wanted to say was that you liked him and you didn’t want him to go, you wanted him to stay in your life permanently. Sure long distance was hard, but for him it would be worth it.
“Oh.” Tim pauses for a minute. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Huh?”
“Well that Dean guy. You seemed kinda upset.”
“I was- am. But it’s okay, give me a few hours I’ll be over it. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Sure.”
“Make sure to send the link to that Timelapse of metal rusting.” You try to smile, but the joke falls flat.
“Okay.” Tim watches you go.
The library was only a 9 minute walk from the science building, but it still felt too long. You longed to be lost in your notes, to think of anything else other than Dean, but you couldn’t.
Why did he have to come back? Why couldn’t he have just let it lie? I was doing better- You think about the weeks that followed his last visit, a haze of homework, tests, and work. Well, I was doing okay.
The thrum of music is still in the air, but now less people pass you as you walk down the sidewalk, and the ones that do are holding hands and laughing. Your thoughts shift to Dean again.
I like him, but I have to get over him because it’s not going anywhere. You think about the first time you slept together. Maybe this is my fault, maybe I should have defined this from the beginning. I mean, I know the kind of person he is… That thought makes you pause. Sure the first few times you’d patched his wounds Dean was sexy and flirty, but all the times that followed he seemed, sweet, charming. It wasn’t that you spent every moment in bed, he had taken you out to dinner at the diner down the street, fought with you over the last slice of pie, took you to a bar for drinks  where he shamelessly beat you at pool, other times he waited for you to be done with your classes to make sure that you didn't have to walk home alone at night. You remember how mad he had been when you told him you did that, but gas was so expensive and it was easier to walk the four blocks.
Someone grabs your arm from behind, pulling you out of your memories, and you finally snap. Using the only self defense move you knew, besides S-I-N-G from Miss Congeniality, you knock off the hand and flip the offender over your shoulder prepared to spray them in the face with the mace in your pocket.
But then you realize who it is.
Dean frowns up at you from the ground. “When I taught you that, I didn’t expect you to use it on me.”
“Just be happy that I didn’t pepper spray you.” Your eyes narrow.
 Maybe I should. It would make me feel better.
“Would have been the highlight of my night.” He stands up from the ground brushing off the front of his clothes with a pointed look.
“Dean what are you still doing here?”
“I want to talk.”
“I’ve said all I need to.”
“But I haven’t.”
“I don’t care. You’ve heard what I need to say and I’m sick of you not listening.”
“Y/n-“
“Fine, I’ll say it one more time, but listen this time.  I've never, never depended on anyone else in my life. It's been me, me for a long time.” You poke your finger into his chest to emphasize your point. “Then you just sauntered in and changed everything. You made me care about you, worry about you, and you made me depend on you showing up in my life. Every time you leave it breaks me. Every time I’m in a funk for days. The last time you left, I cried for two days and I didn’t go to any of my classes! I'm trying to be serious about my life. And I can't do that if you show up every few weeks and make me expect something and then leave a few days later and I'm devastated.”
Dean’s eyes widen in surprise. “I didn’t know that.”
“I have to get over you Dean, and I can't do that if you keep showing up. So please just go.” You turn away from him.
His hand comes down on your arm again to turn you back to him. “I don’t want you to get over me.”
“What?”
“Do you think I like leaving you? Do you really think it’s that easy for me?” He looks hurt.
“It certainly seems to be when you walk out after a few days with a smile like it means nothing! Like I mean nothing-“ You fight the tears that burn against your eyes. You wanted to be something for him just as much as he was something for you, but you were afraid. You hadn’t depended on anyone since you graduated and moved away from home. You weren’t used to needing someone in your life this much.
"You mean everything!” Dean shouts grabbing your shoulders. “It’s me that means nothing."
You blink your eyes for a second, not comprehending what he’s trying to say. "Dean what are you talking about?"
"I didn't think you wanted that-" He looks down.
Your eyes trace the slump in his shoulders, the frown on his handsome face, and the way he won’t meet your gaze.
What is he talking about?
You try to think of a time that you’d seen him look so vulnerable, but the only time you imagine was the night you met.
"Wanted what?"
"Me.” Dean’s voice is a whisper.
"I'm confused."
His eyebrows are furrowed, lips pressed into a tight line. “I’m nothing like you.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“You’re a little younger than me and you’re smart and you’ve got this bright future ahead of you. You don’t need someone like me dragging you down-“
“Someone like you? Dragging me down? Dean what are you talking about?" You can't comprehend what he's saying. You reach up to cup his cheeks, but Dean pulls back from you, glancing away.
“I didn’t go to a fancy college, I barely finished high school. I’ve spent most of my life in motel rooms  committing credit card fraud and trying not to die.  And then I met you. You’re funny and caring and so smart, and  I just thought that you would like it more if I came by every once in a while to relieve some tension. I didn’t think that you would want me to stay.”
He didn’t think that I would want him? That can't be right. Dean is so confident usually. You search his face and see the genuine vulnerability behind his green eyes.
“Are you serious?” You ask him.
He doesn’t say anything.
“Dean, you are smart-“
“Not the same way you are”
“Dean.” You can’t help but take his hand. Dean’s green eyes focus on yours for a second, wide and open. “You don’t have to go to college to be smart. You’re resourceful and you know more about supernatural creatures than anyone else. Even the top scientists and doctors in the world don’t believe in them and they went to stuffy old colleges and fight with one another over who’s smarter. I don’t care that you didn’t go to a fancy college. What you do is important, probably more important than what I’m going to do. You protect people, you’ve saved the world more than once, and sure maybe it’s not glamorous to some people but it is to me.”
His eyes widen in surprise.
“Have you thought that maybe I like spending time with you because you’re so different than the people I see everyday?” You ask him softly, squeezing his hand.
“No.” Dean mutters.
“I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth, I don’t have lavish wealthy parents bankrolling me. My dad is a mechanic. I work two jobs and send him money so I don’t have to worry about him. Sometimes I feel like a fraud. But when you show up I don’t feel like a freak. With you I feel like I don’t have to pretend, I can just be me. And I like you, a lot. This has never just been about relieving tension or sex for me. Ever. I mean it’s nice-“
“Just nice?” Dean raises an eyebrow.
You flush bright red. “I like spending time with you without that too. All the times we spent laying in bed or went to a bar or went to get food, and we talked were equally as wonderful for me. I like talking with you. I like hearing about your life. I just assumed that you had someone in every state that you visit when you’re feeling restless and that you didn’t want a relationship.”
“There’s no one else. Hasn’t been since I met you.”
Deans eyes lock with yours as you comprehend what he just confessed.
“Really?” Your voice is only a whisper.
“Fuck I’m not good at this romantic comedy shit-“ He mutters to himself shaking his head. “I like you too. I wish that I could be here all the time. I hate leaving you. It’s too quiet. When I’m not here all I do is think about you, what you’re doing, how your day was.”
Your entire body explodes with his words, heart beating so fast you think it’ll grow wings and take flight.
“When I was younger I used to laugh at Sam because he wanted a normal life, but with you I understand.  You’re so different than anyone I’ve ever met and it hurts me when I’m away from you.” Dean continues with a soft smile that makes you lose all feeling in your legs.
He takes your other hand. “I understand that what you’re doing is important and I’m not asking you to quit school. All I’m asking is that you give me a chance. I want to make this work. I know that long distance isn’t easy, but I want to try.” His eyes search yours, begging for a answer, but you can barely breathe let alone speak. You watch his face fall as he takes your silence as your answer. “But I understand if you don’t want to, because you are worth more. You’re worth more than a few days, than a phone call or a text. You deserve someone who can be here with you all the time. You’re worth more than what I can give you. And you shouldn’t have to settle-“
You grab the front of his flannel because you can’t think of anything to say and pull him down to you for a kiss. Pins and needles trace down your spine as his soft lips move against yours. He smiles against your mouth, folding you into him, his large hand on the small of your back just under your backpack causing warmth to shoot down your spine. You lose yourself in the way his body fits around yours
“I’m not settling.” Your hands cup his cheeks as you look deep into his eyes. “I never want you to feel that way, because you are worth a hundred of any man I have ever met in my life. And if it’s my cross to bear to make you understand that every day of my life, then so be it. Because I would be lucky to spend any amount of time with you. I don’t want anyone else. I just want you, Dean. I’ve wanted you since the day we met and every day after. And I’m yours as long as you want me.”
Dean’s smile breaks open something in the pit of your stomach and goosebumps scorch across your skin. “I can’t imagine not wanting you.” He presses his forehead against yours.
You stand there with his warm hand pressed into your back trying to think of another time that you felt even a fraction of what you feel for him. You think about your high school boyfriend, about a few of the guys you dated in during your undergrad years, but you come up with nothing. Because you can’t compare him to anyone else you’ve ever met. And it hurt you to think that Dean thought so little of himself in the grand scheme of things.
He leans down to kiss you again, pulling you against his chest so tight that everything blissfully falls away.
“Are you hungry?” He whispers against your lips after a minute.
“Yes, but my shift at the library starts soon. I’m there til 2.” You tighten your hands at the back of his neck, not wanting to let him go.
“Okay. I’ll go with you.”
“Dean it’s okay if you just want to go back to my apartment and sleep. I can give you the key-“ You notice the dark circles under his eyes, but you know that Dean wasn’t one to complain about being tired.
“It’s worth being tired if I get to see you.” Dean smiles. “But I’ll go get us some food, because I’m hungry too.”
“Don’t forget the pie.”
“Have I ever?” He brushes his lips to yours one more time, but you don’t remove your arms from around his neck. “You’re going to have to let me go doll.”
“Just 5 more minutes.”
********************************************
You spend the weekend together in your apartment. All those blissful moments together solidify the thought that this is real, that this time it’s going to be different. Every night going to bed with Dean tucking you against him and waking up every morning with your head on his chest feels like a dream, and you never want to wake. Every kiss and intimate moment between you feels like more, and you have to keep reminding yourself that it isn’t just sex, hasn’t ever been just sex. Dean wants to be there with you all the time, hold you close to him and share things with you. And this time you finally understand that you do help him forget and know that you do bring him as much comfort as he brings you.
When Monday comes and Dean has to go, you try not to think of it as the end.
Dean leans back against the door of the Impala, his hands on your hips, green eyes blazing in the sun, but it’s his eyes that warm you more than the sun’s rays.
"Sweetheart-" Dean begins, sensing what you’re thinking. His thumbs rub smooth circles against waist where your t-shirt rests.
"I know." You press your face into his flannel, inhaling the scent you ascribe to Dean. He smells like oil, leather, and the spicy scent of the soap he uses that tickles your nose.
"Hey." His free hand comes under your chin to raise your gaze back to his. "I promise I'm gonna come back. I promise that we're going to make this work. It’s going to be different.” He cups your cheek, eyes soft and understanding.
“I know, but you’re still leaving.” Your tighten your arms around his chest.
“I wish I didn’t have to. But Sam called, he needs me-“
“I know.” You breathe.
You don’t want Dean to feel any worse than he does about leaving, especially when you remember what he said to you a few days ago, about you deserving more and about how he wished he could be more for you. Deep down you know that both of you are determined to make this work, so you put on a smile.
 “It’s okay.” You gently rub his back.   “You’ll be back in 2 weeks and I’ll be on spring break in a month.”
“Does that mean I’ll get to see you in a bikini?” Dean grins.
“You’ll have to wait and see.”
“Hmm. Well until I see you-“ He raises his right hand from where it rests on your hip to remove the large silver ring from his finger. "Don't panic, it's not an engagement ring." Dean's smile breaks you a little.  "Just me promising that I'll come back, that I'll call and text you so much that you'll be sick of me." He slides the ring onto your thumb, the weight comforting.
"I could never be sick of you."
“Just you wait.” He winks, holding your hand to his chest. “I bet I can prove you wrong.”
“I welcome the challenge.”
The kiss goodbye is bittersweet, but you hold yourself together, refusing to cry as Dean gets into his car and leaves. You watch the Impala disappear around the corner, taking your heart with it, but just as it does your phone rings.
“Hello?”
“I miss you.” Dean’s voice fills the line and this time you can’t stop the tears.
“I miss you too.”
“I promise I’ll be back in two weeks.”
“Okay. Please be careful.” You remember all the stories he's told you over the time you’ve known him, all the horrible things that happened to him and Sam. Sometimes you wish he hadn’t, because you can’t help but worry.
“I’m always careful.” You can hear him rolling his eyes.
“As the person who has spent the past 2 years patching you up, I can say with certainty that you are not always careful.”
“Then I promise to be more careful than usual.”
“I’ll hold you to that.” The wind picks up, pulling your hair from the ponytail at the back of your head.
“I’ll call you when I make it back to the bunker.”
“Good.”
“Bye y/n.”
“Bye Dean.”
Your gaze drops to the heavy ring on your thumb and you hold tight to the hope and belief that this time is different, allowing the memories of the past few days to brush away any doubts that threaten the thought of what the future will bring.
********************************************
Thank you so much for reading!  I am considering doing a series with this reader and Dean, but let me know what y’all think!
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auroreliis · 7 months
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Batfam would have to do research on my special interests if they want to win me over fast but also the thought of super serious Bruce and Damian watching/reading jojos bizarre adventure is really funny to me
Absolutely they would. For you, they would binge every show, play every game and read every paragraph of a book just to have something in common with you. They would all do it for different reasons, but in the end, you would have to listen to them outnerd you.
Bruce's regard for your interests is wholesome. He genuinely wants to know what makes you happy, what you do in your free time, what you could talk about for hours. In order to be able to listen to you talk for hours, he surrounds himself with your interests. You like this artist? He buys a few of their most popular albums. This game is entertaining to you? He either tries it out or watches you play it. There's this film you're excited about? He watches it with you.
Although most of your interests are different, he does actually find himself enjoying anything you enjoy. Perhaps it reminds him of you.
Dick has this one fear. He believes that no matter how persistent he is, if you aren't reciprocating his clinginess, the two of you will grow apart eventually, so he never leaves you alone, even when you beg him to. It isn't really a secret, as he makes it quite obvious, but he hopes you will one day embrace him as he embraces you. You probably get sick of him and tell him how boring he is, which shatters his heart completely.
Now he has to figure out a way to spend time with you, but he needs to make sure you are also enjoying his company, lest you hurt him with your cruelty once more, so he researches every last fact about your interests, be it an activity, a game, a book, a person, he knows everything about it. Dick doesn't want to make it obvious that he only found out this information the night prior, so he cautiously needs to start a conversation.
He most likely waits until you are occupied with your interest before walking up to you, "Hey, is that _____? Wow, I used to be obsessed with it as a kid, I'm suprised you even know it, it isn't that popular and it's quite old." He pats your head and sits down next to you, grinning as you start rambling about it to him. You are actually talking to him. It worked.
Jason is careful when sharing his interests with you. He needs to preserve his reputation as your cool older brother and usually people don't share his interests, so when he finds you reading a classic book, he seats himself nearby, waiting for you to finish reading. Once you're done, he makes sure you enjoyed the book before fanboying about it. You immediately notice how much of a nerd he is. He also recommends similar books or ones he thinks you would enjoy as well. In the end he pulls you into so many fandoms that you stop listening when he recommends books. You've already got like 40 more to read.
Tim does not have this problem. The moment he knew you existed, he educated himself and has kept up with your interests ever since. "Just in case", or ,"Just because", he said, typing a summary of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. "I might as well", he takes notes while binging One Piece. This guy is clinically insane. Fortunately for him, he can now start conversations with you very easily, since he knows everything about your interests (and everything else about you).
Side note: If you refuse to spend time with him even after he did all that for you, the following outcomes are possible:
Either you pity him and spend time with him or Dick tries and fails to guilt trip you, only to end up forcing you to spend time with poor Tim who was awake for a whole week just to impress you (Tim frantically nods along with anything Dick says).
Damian takes great pride in having things in common with you, so as soon as he notices you being fond of something, he surrounds himself with it. You have a favourite colour? He creates a few painting with specifically that colour. You like a certain animal? He will try to adopt one. Damian would, of course, never admit it to you, but he desperately wants you to notice that you two have similar interests (As in, you have an interest and he pretends to also like it just so you maybe talk to him).
If you don't talk to him, he will become more aggressive with his attempts of having you notice him, perhaps randomly coming into your room to paint, claiming that the lighting there is better. Or he asks Bruce to adopt a certain animal during dinner. His attempts are obvious to you, but he doesn't know that.
Cassandra wouldn't really need to share interests with you. She's always close to you anyway. While she does speak to you every now and then, she is perfectly comfortable with sitting in your proximity in silence. However, if you ever asked her to, she would research anything you need her to in order to rant or ramble to her. As long as she has her eyes on you, anything is fine.
Stephanie immediately goes to Tim for help, knowing that he went insane and made a bunch of summaries and notes. First, she makes fun of him, then she apologises, because he threatened to take the notes away, she then complains about how much there is to read before finishing the essays Tim wrote, giving herself about a week. Steph then talks to you as if she didn't go through all that trouble just to have a topic to talk to you about.
Dick told Barbara all about his shenanigans. She even helped him figure out what you're interested in, even researching about it herself. She isn't as intrusive as the others, instead waiting until the moment is right, not wanting to scare you away or overwhelm you. Perhaps if you're alone, she'll come up to you and start with small talk, only really mentioning your special interest if it's involved somehow. Overall, she is the least feral of the bunch (in this situation, at least).
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kkarmiic · 1 year
Note
hey hello! i'm not sure if you have witten anything like this but could you do headcanons for the demon bros with an extremely affectionate reader? like, the reader is super touchy with everyone they're close to like they need to be touching someone at all times. it can be platonic or romantic! also, would you mind doing he/him pronouns? thanks! -⭐
#’ DEMON BROS WITH AN AFFECTIONATE GN!READER
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🫐’ CONTENT AND WARNINGS
\\ synopsis: hcs of the brothers reacting to an extremely affectionate gn!reader
‘+ genre: fluff
*# warnings: lesson 16 mentions in belphies part.
// authors note: there didn’t end up being any pronoun usage at all so it ended up being GN!READER
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#’ LUCIFER
Since you wouldn’t be comfortable touching them (assumably) before you’re close to them, by the time your hyper affectionate naturals shows you’re pretty close.
The first time it happens, Lucifer has been working for hours without any breaks and you started to feel a little more touched deprived than usual.
You end up sneaking into his study, hands clasped at your sides.
He perks his head up, assuming you were his brother and ready to tell them to go away, until he saw it was you.
“Mc?” He asks, placing down his pen.
You asked for a hug, and ofcourse he obliged.
Oh. Oh.
His arms were so warm, his grip so tight and you couldn’t help but melt into his warm embrace.
You missed the affection, you got more in the human world and you hadn’t had a hug like this in so long.
The hug lasts longer than anticipated, both of you refusing to let go, and when you do, you swear you can see the faint tint of pink brushing over his cheeks.
Since that day, you couldn’t get enough, and in all honesty, even despite his efforts to conceal it, he couldn’t either.
Lucifer is a very touched starved man, nobody gives him affection (save for diavolo)
You’d walk downstairs, ready for breakfast and press a gentle kiss against his cheek.
Ofcourse he’s very taken aback.
He secretly loves it, will tell you so in private.
But not in-front of his brothers.
You’d drag him to bed after long study sessions, be practically glued to his side, he couldn’t shake you off even if he tried.
And he doesn’t want to.
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#’ MAMMON
He’d definitely be more laid back about it, but becomes a blushing stuttering mess the moment you touch him.
“Ofcourse you’d want to touch the great mammon!”
Something along those lines.
However, his greed doesn’t just encompass money, it also extends to your affection.
You’re giving one of his brothers a hug? Why would you do that when he’s right there?!
I was going to say that would be a sin; but…
The first time you hug him, one late night out, you’re so tired, eyes heavy and just wanting to fall straight to sleep.
In your drowsy haze, you lean forward and press your head into him, mumbling something about being tired.
His heart is going crazy.
Shaky hands wrap around you, a slight grin forming on his face.
Why does his chest feel so warm? Why is there butterflies in his stomach?
I mentioned peeling you off lucifer, good luck peeling mammon off of you.
He will steal random kisses (either platonically or romantically) from you, pecks when you’re cooking, when you’re getting ready, when you’re eating when-
The brothers are sick of you two.
You’re so affectionate all the time it makes them sick (light heartedly ofcourse)
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#’ LEVIATHAN
He’s probably the most bashful about affection.
You’re binging an anime with him one day when you lay your head onto his shoulder, and you can feel his whole body become tense beneath you.
His eyes go wide and just a little bit frantic, and instead of his attention being on the screen, it’s now on you, and you laying on his shoulder
His heart is going to race out of his chest.
Can you hear it? Oh god what if you can hear his heart going crazy?
He is sweating and stressing.
He will eventually get more used to it, but he’s just as, if not more, touched starved than lucifer.
Cuddles in the bathtub?
Cuddles in the bathtub.
Begs Lucifer to let you be home educated with him.
That’s not going to happen I’m sorry.
Please tackle him as soon as you get home from school.
He can die a happy man in your arms.
He’s still a mess around you, don’t get me wrong.
But he makes sure you don’t need to go to anyone else for affection.
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#’ SATAN
I feel like he’d be one of the most cool and collected about it all (unlike the messes above)
I do however think he’d be one of the most touch starved brothers.
He doesn’t have any interest in people, and even though he doesn’t necessarily have a need for affection.
However when you begin showing him affection, he does realise how touch starved he is.
He’s reading to you one night, you’re curled up next t him when you lay your head on his chest.
A smile tugs on his lips and he wraps his arms around you, continuing to read, but this time has a hand running circles on your back.
He prefers small affection displays, like a hand around the waist (either his or yours), or kisses as a greeting.
But since you’re hyper affectionate, you probably want to be holding hands, or curled up to him at all times (or vice versa)
He definitely likes laying in between your thighs while he reads, it’s just so… warm and relaxing.
I don’t think it’d ever be too much for him.
He just enjoys the simple things in life, and even though you’re far from simple, it’s simple affection and that’s what matters.
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#’ ASMODEUS
I’m so sorry but you’d be the annoying ‘couple’ at RAD.
You know the ones who are constantly blocking the halls because they’re holding hands or kissing?
Yeah.
He’s also super affectionate, and loves when you’re affectionate with him.
It’s his favourite thing.
He definitely likes linking pinkies with you.
Cuddle with him in his soft bed!
The mattress and covers are ridiculously nice.
You’re about to sleep for a whole century in that.
He also likes indirect affectionate. Like you doing his makeup, or painting his nails (or vice versa).
You’re close enough to touch, even if only slightly.
It’s oddly calming for him.
He also really likes sharing baths with you.
The really aesthetic bubble baths with roses you see on Pinterest?
Those.
He washes your back for you and your hair.
Gives you scalp massages and back rubs.
He’s really good with affection.
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#’ BELPHEGOR
This is a match made in… hell? (Positive)
You, hyper affectionate.
Belphie who sleeps all day and has been looking for a new cuddle partner.
You’re his pillow now.
You’re studying? Sorry. No, you’re coming to his bed so he can lay on you and fall asleep.
Cooking? Someone take over he wants to cuddle.
Movie nights? He’s beside you, cuddling you.
It’s also his way for making up for… everything.
It’s sad but it’s his own miniature way of dealing with it.
He doesn’t really have the energy to pepper you in kisses like the other brothers, but still.
He’s the best cuddle partner.
Belphies bed is so soft, best for sleeping. Mountains of pillows and warm fuzzy blankets.
I also headcanon he has a weighted blanket, even though he can sleep well without it it’s still nice to have.
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#’ BEELZEBUB
He likes to carry you.
No matter your weight, height etc.
He will find a way to carry you, this man is STRONG.
When you first cuddle him, you’re watching a TV show together, he’s DEVOURING a big bucket of popcorn and you just put your head into his lap.
He pauses for a moment before he starts playing with your hair.
Oh he’s a cuddle bug too.
He really loves affection as-well, he just goes with what you want, and he’s comfortable with whatever.
He will let you know if you push his boundaries, but I really doubt it.
Expect to be carried around the halls of RAD.
He also does this odd thing when you’re cuddling he will take nips (albeit affectionate) out of your hands, arms and thighs.
He really appreciates the way you show your love for people, it makes him feel valued.
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catmelonwriting · 7 days
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Oohmygofd pleaaase plsplspls write bulimic reader... As some1 who's bulimic i will die if u do (positively)
BSD Men with a bulimic!reader
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Warnings: Bulimia, not proofread, vomit type purging, very self inserted and based off my experiences, bad body image, reader is not underweight, hurt/comfort, a couple usages of (name) in akutagawa's bc I just can't see this man using pet names
Characters: Akutagawa, Chuuya
A/N: I'm sooo glad I'm not the only one who wanted this.. I was really hesitant to write it bc my blog is entirely smut and that usually does better than hurt/comfort, angst, or fluff, but if I'm not the only person who wants it I'm deffy gonna write it!! I don't really like Akutagawas I definitely didn't do him justice but I loveeeee chuuya's
Akutagawa
- Probably will not notice until you tell him.. just thinks you're sick or something when he hears coughing noises from the bathroom.
- From then on he's really concerned, he'll probably do a lot of research on it (w/o you knowing ofc)
- Will try and get you into treatment, even just IOP, but if you refuse HE is going to monitor everything your eating
- If you do end up binging in the middle of the night or while he's not there, the bathroom is off limits for the next 45 minutes.
- He will literally stand in the way of the doorway if you try to go, he's not risking anything.
- If you try not to eat too much the next day to 'make up for it' he'll sit with you while you eat and give you encouraging words here and there, but neither of you are getting up till your finished.
One shot
You're kneeled over the bathroom toilet, the back of a toothbrush nudging your throat, when you let out a loud gag. You immediately take the toothbrush out and cover your mouth.. you had learned to be so quiet after akutagawa found out about your eating disorder, how could you let that happen?
You hear footsteps approaching the bathroom door before three short knocks. "Yeah, Ryū?" You ask, your voice was raspy and you sounded like you had been crying. Fuck, he knows.
"..(Name) are you alright? Are you doing something you shouldn't?" His voice was sharp, like he was angry. You knew he wasn't, you knew he would never be angry at your for something like this.. just.. upset, but you can't help the guilt that courses through your body at his words.
"No." You choke out, shuffling to shove the toothbrush back in the holder. "I heard gagging." You clear your throat, trying to get rid of the rasp. "Um.. I wasn't. Just coughing. I'm not feeling well." You call out, quickly flushing your thrown up dinner down the toilet. "I'll be out in a second."
You dig in the drawers for your perfume, air freshener, dry shampoo, anything you can spray to cover up the smell of your throw up, but you couldn't find anything. So you hesitantly clean your hands and leave the bathroom with the overwhelming smell of vomit filling it.
"Hey, love." You mumble, sitting down next to him on the couch, your voice shaky. "..(Name), don't lie to me. I know what you were doing." He mumbles, placing his hand on the back of your head, pulling you closer to him. You blink back tears as you push your face into his chest. "Im sorry.. I'm so so sorry.. I didn't mean to.. I didn't.." you choke out, sniffling.
"Don't apologize to me, dear. I'm not mad, or even upset. Just.. concerned. You told me you would stop." His voice sounded sympathetic, something you weren't used to with him. The smell of cigarette smoke hung on your jacket, a scent you had grown to love and found comforting since meeting him. The way his lanky, boney, ring covered fingers glided through your hair, his soft voice, it all comforted you, it all told you it was okay to cry.
His heart ached at the little gasps and sniffles and whimpers you let out whilst sobbing into his chest. It made him want to start bawling with you, but of course he wouldn't. He could never appear weak to you. "I'm sorry- I'm so sorry Ryu- I just can't stop- I can't stop no matter how hard I try.." you sob, hands moving to cling onto the fabric of his shirt. "I'm so sorry!"
"Oh baby.." he sighed. You didn't want to look up, you know he's looking down with pity. Pity you didn't want. "It's alright. I don't want you to cry, it's not your fault.. I understand- well, no, I don't. I don't understand, but I want to help you." Wrapping his arms around you, he leans into your head, the scent of your shampoo filling his nose.
That's where you two lay for the rest of your night, him whispering comforting words in your ears, giving you all the love you could ever ask for, something you'd never expect from a man like him.
Chuuya
- He notices within the first month of FRIENDSHIP
- The way you get up and scurry off to the bathroom after every meal you share, the guilt on your face after grabbing a third serving at the party you two are at, how quick you shove shit down your throat before tears well up in your eyes and you excuse yourself.. all of it.
- He definitely cares, but probably won't confront you about it till later on in the friendship if you're still having trouble
- He won't just send you a lousy "have you been eating properly?" Text either, he's gonna invite you over to his house making it known you two are gonna have a serious conversation, then sit you down in his living room then prod and probe till you admit it.
- If you're still struggling w/ it when you're dating/when you move in together (which you probably are bc eds are harsh) he'll be like Akutagawa and monitor everything you eat, just a little more stealthily
- He is not afraid to tell you to slow down if you seem to be overeating.. he takes the binging just as seriously as the purging.
Oneshot
You had awakened in the middle of the night with a need for food. Anything you could get your hands on you needed inside of you asap.
You quickly and carefully slipped out of his arms and out of bed, tip toeing to the kitchen and flicking the light on. The first thing you see is a brand new box of cereal you had bought today, Chuuya hadn't had it in awhile, it was his favorite as a kid and he seemed happy while buying it. Guilt tote through you when you ripped open the box and shuffled handfuls into your mouth, before discarding the half empty box on the ground.
You reached for the cake you two had made for your birthday last week, taking fistfuls with your bare hands and shoving the icing covered cake in your mouth.
After shoving everything in vicinity down your throat, you open the fridge to find a diet coke, or a regular, just anything with bubbles.. anything with carbonation to help you get this all up better. Anything. Your eyes land on an energy drink you had bought yesterday.. you were saving it for today, but in your eyes you needed it now.
You crack it open and glug it down, before looking at the mess you made on the floor. Empty boxes, half eaten cake, a carton of half eaten cookies, an empty bowl that was previously filled with salad, an empty milk carton.. you felt sick to your stomach. You needed this out of you now. Now.
You quietly tip toe to the bathroom, turning off the kitchen lights behind you and locking the door behind you, kneeling on the ground in front of the toilet. You hated doing this, you hated how gross you felt hovering over something where your ass went.. but you needed it gone. You couldn't gain weight.. you already felt so fat as it is no matter how much chuuya tried to convince you you're average.. you just couldn't believe it. Looking in the mirror all you could see was piles of fat.
You push the back of your toothbrush down your throat, gagging almost silently as the first few things came up. You recognized some chocolate, veggies, something.. red.. you didn't want to think about it too much as you shoved the toothbrush back down your throat. You watched as everything you ate came up opposite to the order you had it in.
Finally, you recognize barely chewed lumps of cereal fall into the toilet, and after you throw up stomach acid mixed with dark blood, you sigh, wipe your mouth and stand up, flushing the toilet, and clean yourself up.
Walking out of the bathroom, you see the kitchen lights on. Fuck. You could've sworn you turned those off.
Your ginger haired boyfriend turns the corner from the kitchen, looking you dead in the eyes with disappointment on his face. You wished you could just evaporate. "Love, what is this?" He sounded.. exasperated. Tired of you, tired of your illness, tired of having a girlfriend who can't just eat normally. You were tired of it too, but the Internet made recovery seem so much easier than it really was.
Tears flow out of your eyes as you wipe the remaining spit dribbling from your mouth away. "Did you throw up?" He sighs.. you can't tell if he's being sympathetic or if he's annoyed. Maybe both. All you can muster is a nod before you fall into his chest, letting out broken sobs and choking out apologies. From where you are you can glance into the kitchen, noticing he had cleaned up the little mess you made.
God, not only did he have to deal with such an emotional, disordered girlfriend.. he had to clean up after you too? You felt like such a terrible person, like you didn't deserve his love.
"Cmon, sweetie, let's go to bed. Let me tuck you in." He mutters sleepily. "Don't apologize.. don't apologize, it's not your fault. You know I'm not mad." His whispers comfort you and make you feel worse at the same time, you didn't understand it. "I'm not mad, just worried. I could never be mad at you." He speaks softly, nudging you towards the open door of your bedroom.
You whimper and sniffle as he tucks you into bed, before getting back in himself and wrapping his arms around your waist. He leans in, whispering sweet nothing's in your ear, tracing shapes in your hip, telling you you're beautiful and it'll all be okay until you fall asleep.
When you wake up the next morning, Chuuya isn't there. He must've gone to work already. You see a small note on the bedside table next to you, and hesitantly pick it up to read its contents.
"Hey doll, I'm sorry I left for work before we could talk about this in-person, and I definitely have a plan to speak to you about it tonight. But I wanted to let you know I'm not mad at you, nor am I upset with you, I'm just concerned for your well-being and safety. I want to get you into some treatment program because I'm not trained in this, and I don't really know how to help. I know this isn't entirely about your weight or how your body looks, but baby believe me when I say you're beautiful. You are the most gorgeous girl I have ever laid my eyes on and I am so lucky to have you. You are not 'too much' and your emotional baggage is not too much for me to carry. Even if it was, it's worth it for a girl as sweet and caring as you.
Love, Chuuya"
You hold the note close to your chest and push yourself backwards into bed, draping the covers over yourself and falling back asleep with his letter held close.
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meowufff · 10 months
Text
This is my first actual post on Tumblr ever so pls bear with me. Also, English is not my first language so pls excuse any mistakes I make :)
So, this whole thing here started just as a joke bc I was curious if anyone else was feeling constantly tired all day no matter how long I sleep. But it all somehow escalated a bit and I may have started hyperfixating on it so well, now it actually became a little survey.
I also wanted to mention that I only asked the artist in my little Tumblr bubble, which is mostly tmnt content, so my results are mostly referring to tmnt artists.
In total, I asked 143 people if they could remember the last time they woke up and just felt actually rested for more than half of the day.
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I probably could have been more specific with my question but again, I did not actually planned to let it become so big. Personally, for me being rested means, having a clear head, no headache or foggy mind without consuming any caffeine.
So out of 143 people, 100 answered me and I tried my best to sort all of the answers after the criteria “good-sleep-schedule” and “bad-sleep-schedule” and also noted when exactly they last felt actually rested into either the last days, weeks, months, years or “???” when they couldn’t remember or didn’t mention anything specific.
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And let’s just say… it does not really look good. Out of 100 people, only 18 have an actual good sleep schedule. Out of these 18 people, 13 felt really rested in the last days, 2 in the last weeks, only one person in the last months and 2 in the last years.
Out of the 82 of people who have a bad sleep schedule, 10% lastly felt rested in the last days, 11% in the last weeks, 11% in the last months, 30% in the last years, and 38% couldn’t remember or didn’t specify it.
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While reading all your answers I came to realize being sleep deprived is not just bc any of them thought “Oh it would be really neat to stay up till 4 am!” or smth like that.
A lot of the artists who answered me mentioned that they have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep due to stuff like insomnia, chronic pain, other issues, or children (yeah, ok, there was just one who had a child but still).
While analyzing I mostly referred the situations to my own experience with going to sleep or rather not going to sleep...
I usually don’t have problems falling asleep but trouble actually putting my stuff away and going to bed bc I don’t want to end the day or just don’t want to go to sleep (don’t ask why, I have no idea why I am like this). While having these “episodes” I often doodle smth, binge reading some fanfics, or watch whatever I can find on the internet until I’m just falling asleep or can convince myself that it is 3 am and I really should go to bed now.
So, my personal theory about why sleep deprivation is so common among Tumblr artists is not bc they do art all night. My theory is that a lot of people who have trouble falling asleep due to insomnia, pain, or other issues are filling the time until they hopefully fall asleep with their art, doodles, writings, or whatever their creative minds can bring up, to help the time pass.
In total that would mean that not all artists are sleep deprived but more that a lot of people who have trouble falling asleep do a lot of art or creative stuff in general.
Something I could also imagine is, that if they start doing art while waiting for sleep, they start to concentrate a lot on creating more and start procrastinating sleep even if they actually get tired bc they wanna do art and fuck up their non-existing sleep schedule even more but that could also just be me projecting here.
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I know that is probably no kind of big revelation but for me it was kind of surprising to see how many people here are as sleep deprived as me and due to what reasons.
I’m not going to preach to any of you to get that problem solved or smth, I have no right to tell you what to do and would be a major hypocrite so instead I really which everyone to get some kind of good sleep schedule one day and the joy of waking up and feeling completely rested at least thrice per week.
I absolutely love all your art and thank you a thousand times for helping me with this spontaneous survey!
I would love to hear your opinions on my theory and conclusion so pls don’t be shy and feel free to point out any mistakes I may have made or tell me your own theories :D
Also, if my question is still sitting in your inbox, feel free to answer! I’m gonna keep ma big ass excel table so I can edit all the results anytime. And maybe, one day, I'm gonna continue this survey and go into more detail but for now I need to leave it like this.
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Ok, that's all I got
BYE!
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Thanks to all participants
@abbeyofcyn @angelpuns @beannary @bulbabutt @camilieroart @cementgeek @cheesyescapade @cokowiii @easterartist @frosteaart @gemini-forest @happyfoxx-art @heckitall @hellishgayliath @holy-sweetsour-milk @icepopcider @idiot-mushroom @iscreamkitty @kovalitics @laseralligator @lieutenantbiscute @matchstique @mightyanxiety @miiukkaa @mr-doodles @pezhead @probably-not-a-rutabaga @pumpkster @sad-leon @sassatello @sewercrocodileart @sheep-turtles-and-pizza @signanothername @spectra-bear @stephuart @tangledinink @tapakah0 @tasenwiththerobots @tblsomedoodles @thegunnsara @triona-tribblescore @turrondeluxe @valen-timez @vangh17a @wraenata @zinovi768 @debb987 @dianagj-art @goatedgreen @indieyuugure
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writeplace-wrongtime · 8 months
Text
The Bet
*cracks knuckles* fine, I'll do it myself.
Okay but seriously, I've only binge watched the first 6 seasons of criminal minds, so I'm probably a bit off with character personalities.
This turned into mostly the team finding out, so if anyone wants a part 2 with more scenes pre-reveal I'd love to write it!
masterlist coming soon
Word Count: 3k
CW// brief mention of kidnapping case, use of y/n (i'm sorry), not beta'd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
‘When was the last time you saw Hotch leave before the rest of us?’
The most recent case had been a relatively short one, allowing the team to get back to Quantico reasonably early. A young man caught kidnapping local women, caught easily when he appeared on CCTV taking his latest victim. Three women, three days. All had minor injuries, but all were alive. It had been the ideal end to the case and no loss of life meant the paperwork was minimal.
Emily’s voice caught the attention of Derek, who followed her gaze to the elevator, where the Unit Chief stood waiting. He raised his eyebrows, trying to think back on the last few months of late nights, week-long cases and multiple middle of the night calls.
‘Not since before his divorce,’ Spencer piped up helpfully from behind his desk, packing away the days half-finished reports and case notes before he too looked up. ‘Hey, has anyone seen y/l/n? They mentioned going for food on the jet, and I know this really nice Indian restaurant not far from here, I was going to suggest we all go.’
Now that Emily thought about it, she hadn’t seen you after you’d gone to Hotch’s office to drop off your report. Barely five minutes later, Hotch had made a beeline for the elevator, leaving unusually early compared to normal, and then you too had disappeared.
‘Holy shit.’ The dots were connecting in her head. ‘They’re totally hooking up!’
This gathered the full attention of everyone in the room.
‘Who’s hooking up?’ Penelope had her bag in hand as she peeked in the door, drawn to the gossip like a moth to a flame.
‘Y/l/n and Hotch!’
‘Oh my god!’ Penelope was quick to rush over to the group now huddled around Emily’s desk.
‘No way,’ Derek was shaking his head, arms crossed over his chest. They’d been working as a team for years, there’s no way you and Hotch were in a secret relationship, and no one had noticed. ‘Come on, you really think they could have hidden something like that from us?’
Spencer shrugged, joining the conversation fully. ‘Hotch hid the fact that Emily was alive from all of us for months, so a secret relationship wouldn’t be that hard for him.’ Emily grimaced at the comparison, searching for any hint of bitterness in his tone, though found none. He had been hurt that they hadn’t trusted him to know the secret, but that hurt had faded over the couple years since Emily had returned. He offered her an apologetic smile, as if only realising what he’d said.
‘Want to make this more interesting?’ Quick to bring the conversation back to inane office gossip, Emily reached into her bag to pull out her purse. ‘100 dollars they’re doing it.’
‘Oh, you’re on. 100 they’re not.’ Derek placed two fifties on top of Emily’s two. Another two went down, and they both looked up to see Spencer sheepishly tucking his wallet back into his pocket.
‘I think they’ve been dating for a couple weeks now, I assumed everyone else had noticed.’
Quickly, Penelope had joined, and much to everyone’s surprise, so did Rossi. Penelope thought they’d just started dating, and Rossi thought it had been at least six months. JJ scooped up the cash, promising to be a neutral party to assure the winner got the whole lot. Plus, when this inevitably went wrong, she did not want to be involved in the fallout.
‘Okay, but how do we get them to admit-‘
‘Or not admit,’ Derek cut in.
‘Or not admit, what’s going on?’ Emily mused. Everyone’s eyes instantly went to Penelope.
‘Oh no, no, no-‘
Penelope’s office felt quite cramped with some many people in it, the space only meant to house one technical analyst, not one technical analyst and five nosey special agents. Five nosey agents who were all huddled around Penelope to peer at the screen over her shoulders.
‘Oh it does not feel right tracking their phones like this,’ Penelope’s fingers danced across the keys as she brought up both locations, ‘My powers should only be used for good, not- not snooping on our friends personal lives!’ Still, she let the trace run its course, displaying the address for the others to see.
‘That’s Hotch’s apartment.’ Spencer recognised the address immediately. Two little dots blinked on the screen, Hotch’s address hovering above them.
‘So they’re together, that doesn’t mean they’re hooking up.’ Derek knew his argument was weak, but hell he had 100 dollars riding on it.
‘Oh come on, they sneak out and go to Hotch’s apartment and you think they’re what, making cookies?’
‘Kids, stop fighting,’ Dave put a hand on both Derek and Emily’s shoulders. ‘Why don’t you just phone y/l/n, invite them for food, see what happens.’
‘You think they’d lie to us?’ Spencer asked, as Penelope pulled out her phone and dialled your number.
‘They’ve been lying to us about this for weeks, if you’re bet is right anyway,’ Emily nudged him with her elbow. He nudged her back.
‘Technically it’s an omission not a lie, since none of us directly asked if they’re-‘
‘Shhh its ringing!’ The room fell to silence as Penelope put her phone to her ear.
~
Even though it had been a short case, you had been looking forward to getting back. And by how quickly Aaron had offered up his apartment for a movie night, he had been too. It was important to keep a clear line between boss and boyfriend while in the field, and it was only professional to stay in separate rooms during cases, so it felt good to have Aaron back in boyfriend mode, with comforting touches and quality time away from the office, away from the titles and roles that accompanied your positions at the BAU.
You had finished your report in record time. It was pure luck that everyone was too caught up in their own work to notice you slipping away. After dropping your report on Aaron’s desk, you had made a quick exit, waiting by Aaron’s car until he joined you in the car park. It had become routine to leave short gaps between your arrivals and exits, allowing the illusion that you had travelled separately, from different apartments, in different cars. It was a short ride back to his apartment.
You had only just settled back against Aaron’s side, a bowl of popcorn perched between your thighs when your phone buzzed.
‘Hey beautiful, where’d you run off to?’ Penelope’s sweet voice rang out from the other end of the line, ‘We’re going for food, you coming with?’
You glanced sideways at Aaron, who kept his eyes on the TV, though you knew he was listening in by the way his arm tensed around you. You gently squeezed the arm closest to you, relaxing further into his hold so he knew you weren’t planning on leaving.
‘Sorry Pen, not tonight, I’m, uh, not feeling great after today’s case…’ You trailed off, hoping she’d accept the excuse and you’d be home free. You should’ve known it wouldn’t be as simple as that. There was pause, and you could’ve sworn you could hear hushed conversation. Must’ve been the rest of the team packing up to leave. You felt almost guilty that they were still at the office, when you’d left as soon as your own report was done.
‘Oh honey!’ Her voice was laced with sympathy, ‘That’s it, we’ll bring the food to you! Nothing like good food and company to cheer up the soul!’ Your head fell back against Aaron’s chest with more force than necessary. Curse her and her kindness.
‘No, no it’s okay, really-‘ You tried to prevent your voice from giving away your panic, ‘No need to go out of your way! Tell the guys I said enjoy!’
‘Its not out of our way at all! See you in twenty, gorgeous.’ The line went dead before you had a chance to respond. You could feel the vibrations of Aaron’s quiet laugh behind you, tilting your head back to look up at him.
‘You think this funny?’ Your words were pointed, but the smile on your lips gave away your hidden amusement. In lieu of an answer, he leaned down to pepper kisses along your shoulder, the side of your neck, anywhere he could reach. You savoured the warmth of his lips against your skin, a soft moan escaping your parted lips as the kisses became more heated. Tilting your head back to give him easier access, you let out a disappointed whine when he instead detached from you, gently pushing you up until you were sitting straight.
‘They’re going to be at your apartment soon,’ He reminded you, giving your arm a squeeze before moving to stand. Your cheeks were flushed red, taking a few steadying breaths as he took the popcorn from your lap, placing it on the coffee table, before holding his hands out to you. Shooting him a mock glare, you resigned yourself to getting off the comfortable couch and getting your shoes on. As much as you loved your co-workers, so much that they were practically family, you really did not want to spend the evening with them, not when you could be curled up on the couch with Aaron, pretending the outside world didn’t exist.
‘Shit,’ You nearly tripped over your untied laces in your hurry to turn, ‘My car’s still at the office, Aaron I don’t have time to get back there, get my car AND-‘ Your words were halted by the soft press of his lips on yours. Clearly, you weren’t the only one wishing you could stay. Melting against him, your hands found purchase on the solid expanse of his shoulders, fingers digging into the soft material of his t-shirt. He pulled back, just far enough so he could press his forehead against yours.
‘I’ll drive,’ His voice was quiet in the minimal space between you, ‘Tell them your car broke down and I offered you a lift home.’ You just hummed your agreement, too caught up in his closeness to really be paying full attention. Overwhelming warmth encompassed you as you breathed in the faint smell of his cologne, trying to catalogue the feeling in your mind as your panic disappeared with the gentlest of touches.
‘Or,’ You offered mildly, blinking up at him through your lashes, ‘We could just turn our phones off, lock the door, and deal with all of this tomorrow?’ Soft open-mouthed kisses were pressed to the column of his throat in between your words, hands climbing to wrap around the back of his neck. Your fingertips teased the baby hairs at the base of his skull. You knew he wouldn’t take you up on the offer, even when his hands gripped at your waist, pulling you flush against him as he once again claimed your lips with his.
 It had been a tough decision, keeping the relationship from your team, but you had both ultimately decided that it was for the best, at least while things were still new. Then, six weeks had turned into six months, and six months into nearly a year. It was becoming harder and harder to keep a secret, and you nearly wanted the team to catch on. You’d met Jessica, and had a proper introduction to Jack, even going so far as to have gone to a few of his soccer practices at Jack’s insistence. You had been slowly moving your stuff into his room, small things like toiletries, pyjamas and a few spare work outfits. You spent more time at Aaron’s apartment than your own. You loved it. What you didn’t love, was having to hide it all from your friends.
‘We really should go,’ Aaron murmured against your lips, ‘At least you’ll get free food out of this.’
You laughed softly at that, pressing one last kiss to his lips before pulling back, cheeks dusted pink. ‘I’d rather have you.’ A rare boyish grin was your only response, before he turned to grab his keys and you quickly tied your laces. You were soon on the familiar road home.
 ~
They didn’t wait around to see if you were rushing from Hotch’s apartment, instead piling into the back of Derek’s car haphazardly. All but JJ, who had familial responsibilities, and Rossi who just wanted to go home, managed to fit into one SUV.  If Rossi had been with them to take some of the blame, Derek might’ve even thrown on the sirens and lights. Instead, he skipped through a few orange lights, and just barely stuck to the speed limits. When they arrived at the Indian restaurant, Spencer was sent to pick up the order, being deemed least likely to do something stupid like flash his badge for quicker service. Emily followed him inside to help carry it all back to the car. Even without the badge, they managed to make it in and out in under ten minutes. Luck was on their side, getting them to your apartment just 25 minutes after Penelope had hung up on you.
When they came to a stop outside your apartment complex, your car wasn’t parked in its normal spot, and they had a moment of celebration before Spencer realised the light was on inside. A light that meant you had beat them.
They all had to hide their disappointment when you greeted them at the door, not showing any sign of having rushed from one apartment to the other. Being one of the closer apartments to the office, yours was often used as a base for nights out, girl’s nights, and team movie-nights. It was the team’s apartment more than it had ever been just yours. Moving seamlessly through your kitchen grabbing plates, cutlery and glasses, Emily and Penelope set to organising the food, while Spencer and Derek moved your coffee table to the centre of the room so everyone could sit around it. It warmed you to know they felt at home here.
‘I’ll have to get someone to look at it tomorrow,’ You sounded morose enough that Emily almost believed your “car trouble” story. She just hummed her commiserations before stealing some chicken from your Jalfrezi. As much as she’d hoped to catch you and Hotch in your lie – or omission as Spencer would remind her – she enjoyed spending time with you, and this had been the perfect excuse for a team night.
‘Hotch didn’t stick around after dropping you off?’ Emily asked casually, scooping up a mouthful of curry with the edge of a poppadom. If you noticed the groups sudden interest in your conversation you didn’t show it. You shook your head, pushing the thought of his hands on your waist and his lips on your skin, out of your mind.
‘He was just being nice, he probably has better things to be doing after a case than hanging out here.’
Derek had to hide his laugh with a cough. You frowned at him, but before you could question it, Emily dragged you back into a conversation about Sergio and how he stole her bagel the other day. She glared at Derek when you weren’t looking. Conversation flowed easily after that, and it wasn’t long before everyone was on their second helping of food and the booze cupboard had been ransacked.
‘Hey babygirl, you seeing what I’m seeing?’ Derek had just sat back down with his second full plate when he spotted it; the start of your downfall. He nudged Penelope, nodding his head toward you. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, before rising nearly to her hairline. A sharp “oh my god” left her lips, before she covered her mouth. Just beneath the edge of your oversized t-shirt, a small red mark was blooming on your skin. It looked suspiciously like a hickey. A very, very new one at that. Penelope’s little outburst was quickly noted by Emily, who paused mid-conversation to notice what they had. Her shit-eating grin matched Derek’s perfectly.   
‘What?’ You frowned at her, quickly glancing at Spencer opposite you. He shrugged, offering no help.
‘Maybe Hotch stuck around for a little while after all?’ There was a teasing lilt to her tone as she reached out to tug your collar a little lower. You could feel heat rising up your neck into your cheeks, a beautiful shade of crimson. Covering the offending mark with your hand, you tried to come up with an excuse. Nothing came. Opening your mouth and then closing it a few times, you tried to look anywhere but at your friends. You were caught and you knew it. They knew it too.
‘Is there any point in me saying I burnt myself?’ You tried for a smile, but it turned out more like a grimace.
‘Nope.’ Emily said, popping the “p”.
‘Aaron and I, we, uh…’ You fidgeted with the hem of your shirt, your blush darkening, as Penelope mouthed “Aaron!” at Emily, who practically giggled. You were going to have to restock your alcohol cupboard before they came round again. You took a breath, glancing around the room. All eyes were on you.
 ‘We’re dating.’
There was an immediate outburst of “oh my god!”s and “I knew it!”s. You had expected to feel awful when your secret was finally out in the open, but all you could feel was relief. Well, and a tinge of embarrassment. Warmth bubbled in your chest, looking around the room at your team, your family, knowing you didn’t have to hide it from them anymore.
‘What ya thinking about over there?’ Emily nudged your arm, a small tendril of guilt creeping through her. You’d obviously wanted to spend your evening with Hotch, and instead they’d dragged you away in a hurry, all just to invade your privacy. A small grin broke through your façade.
‘I’m thinking, seeing as it’s not a secret anymore, I can leave you losers and go back to spending the night with my boyfriend.’ A chorus of cheers followed your words, and someone (you suspected Emily) shouted “Go get some, girl!”.
Spencer wrinkled his nose at that. ‘Gross, remember that’s Hotch we’re taking about, he’s pretty much our work dad.’ His words caused a laugh to bubble in your chest, and you leaned over Emily to plant a big kiss on his cheek.
‘Guess that makes me your new work-mom!’ He made a big show of wiping your kiss from his cheek, but the small smile that followed gave away his charade.
‘What are you waiting for beautiful? Your man is waiting for you!’ Your wide grin echoed Penelope’s as she ushered you up and out of the living room. Your overnight gear was already at Aaron’s, so all you needed was your shoes and phone. You felt almost giddy as you threw the spare key to Spencer.
‘Don’t stay up too late kiddos!’
‘Hey, hold on a second,’ You glanced at Derek, who had started stacking plates to take to the kitchen, ‘How long has this been going on?’
‘Oh… Y’know, only about 11… months.’ You shot them an abashed smile, before darting for the door as all hell broke loose.
‘You didn’t win the bet either!’ Emily and Derek’s argument floated out the door with you, and you couldn’t help but laugh. Of course they had bet on it. You didn’t have it in you to care, instead shutting the door with a sound click. Pulling your phone out of your pocket, you dialled Aaron’s number.
‘Hey handsome,’ You couldn’t help the smile that carried through in your words, ‘You want to finish that movie?’
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