#and put some examples on a piece of paper

[quokkawritesarchive]

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? — SEUNGMIN.

pairing: seungmin x reader(afab) genre: office au!seungmin, enemies to lovers, a bit of comedy, slow burn, smut, NSFW warnings: swearing; SMUT SPOILERS: biting, marks, oral (f. receiving), slapping (f. receiving), use of “whore”, edging, semi-public sex

it wouldn’t have been a normal day in the office, if you and your co-worker kim seungmin hadn’t been caught in a fight. honestly, everyone would be more surprised, if two of you survived a day without yelling at each other. and there wasn’t even any particular reason why you two were fighting - it just happened. did you accidentally bump into him and he dropped all his papers? for the next twenty minutes, you are gonna yell at each other instead of simply apologizing and forgetting about it. did he ask you a question? you will never respond to it properly without mocking him.

“can you bring me the report?”

“come get it yourself.”

“can you hold a door for me, please?”

“do it yourself.”

it just kept going. at first, your boss tried to do something about it, but then realized that it was just useless. you two won’t change your behavior, no matter what punishment he imposes.

today was no different. you were running late, because your cat kept walking on the table during breakfast and spilled coffee on your shirt and you then had to change. so now you were faster than a bullet, trying to make it in time. your boss was lenient to those who were late. except for those “general team meeting“ days, like today, when it was necessary to be on time and not even a second late, unless you wanted to burn alive under the gaze of your boss. you literally ran into an office building, scanned your card and headed straight to the elevator, hoping that it wasn’t stuck somewhere on the top floor. there were still three minutes left. if you managed to get into the elevator right now, then there was every chance to make it.

someone was standing near the elevator, ready to step inside, because the doors had just opened.

“hey, can you wait, please? i am very late! just wait a second!” you were shouting, waiving actively, trying to get that person’s attention.

but he didn’t seem to care. he just walked in, pressed the button and stood there with the most smug expression on his face.

fuck.

it was kim seungmin.

you are gonna be late.

“you dick! we both have to be at this meeting! why can’t you act normally for at least one day!” you shouted again, stopping right in front of the closing doors, exchanging glances with seungmin.

doors closed.

“fucking piece of wanking piece of fucking shit, you fuck! ugh! shit!“

a few people turned around at you, but you didn’t care. this guy was driving you nuts. you were fuming and the work day hadn’t even started yet.

minutes, that felt like hours, have passed and you were finally running to the meeting room. the wave of anxiety crushed you again, as you thought of the look that your boss will give you. but you had no other choice other than to come in. the more you wait, the worse it will be.

“sir, i am so sorry for the late arrival!” you bowed the lowest you could. “it won’t happen again! i am really sorry for the inconvenience!”

“take your seat.” boss replied after a long pause.

oh, he was not having it today.

you rushed to the empty seat, feeling that you could sink into the ground right now. the meeting was happening in one of those rooms with a big round table and long blinds on glass walls. the faces of your colleagues were as pale as ever. that meant only one thing - today everyone will get punished for some kind of oversight.

someone was burning a hole in you. and it was not your boss. the feeling was very annoying, so you turned around to find the source of it. of course, it was no other than kim seungmin. he was smirking at you. probably, very happy with the way he put you in trouble again.

“fuck you.” you mouthed and turned away. there were better things to focus on right now. for example, to try not to lose your job.

squeezed lemon - that's how you felt after that two-hour brain-blowing. the usual meeting turned into everyone being reprimanded in full. so now you just wanted some coffee. no, you craved coffee.

you sighed, when you saw the coffee machine being occupied already by your lovely friend kim seungmin. luckily, he didn’t notice your appearance and was probably lost in his thoughts. that could have been the perfect timing to scare him. but you didn’t. instead, something more intriguing caught your attention.

the open collar of his shirt revealed a view of thin collarbones and pale white skin. it looked so magical and angelic that suddenly you felt the urge ruin it with a red bruise, bite into it with your teeth, sucking harshly.

“what are you looking at?” the usual dissatisfied tone of his voice brought you back to consciousness.

“what?!” you snapped.

“i am saying - why are you checking me out? got a crush on me or sum?” seungmin grinned, buttoning the collar in the meantime.

fuck.

he had noticed you staring at his neck.

“did you melt your brain completely after the meeting or what?” you scoffed, passing him by, going to another counter to take a mug.

the beep of the coffee machine signalized readiness. you heard seungmin’s footsteps getting quieter and breathed out. finally, you will not have to stay in one room with him any longer.

as soon as you relaxed, you felt someone’s hand wrapping around your hip, as the other went past you to pick something from the counter in front of you.

“sorry, forgot to take a spoon.” he was breathing into your neck, making you freeze in place. he was that close to you, you swear you could hear him swallow.

the feel of him was scalding. his big chest pressed against your back for a brief second, until you panicked and leaned forward a bit to try to escape how firm he felt against you, how his heat radiated from him and shot through you, straight to the dull thrum between your legs. leaning over the counter now, had you pushing back against his hips. you had to mentally beat yourself into thinking he's not hard and that's his phone in the pocket, when you heard his breath hitch.

it was low, trembling mutter of your name that had the back of your neck get goosebumps. the thrum between your legs made you painfully aware of how good he would look on top of you.

you didn’t realize you almost dropped your mug until you saw him catch it from your hands mid-air and put it on the counter. his palm then found home on your other hip and squeezed it, making your breath quicken.

“be careful next time. or you will have to pay for the broken mug as well.” he whispered in your ear.

and then he was gone, leaving you with a spinning head and a blush on your cheeks.

what the fuck just happened?

it has been a few days since the kitchen incident. you two were ignoring each other completely. well, at least you were. you really didn’t want to address it, but trying to avoid the awkwardness of the situation wasn’t as easy as you thought. every time you saw seungmin in the corridor or walking to the elevator or in your direction in general - you rushed away, trying to hide from his sight. even some of your colleagues had noticed how unusual your behavior was. of course, no one yelled in the middle of a work day anymore. instead, you two have become magnets trying to push each other away.

you were scared to even exchange a look with him. confused by feelings, trying to find a explanation for what happened, you were terrified of what he would do or say if you two were left alone in a room again.

and that shouldn’t happen under any circumstances.

you were making your usual after-lunch coffee when you saw a tall figure enter the kitchen.

oh no.

the sudden heatwave rushed to your face as you headed for the door, dismissing whatever you were doing before. you won’t stay in a room with seungmin alone.

don’t look at him, just keep moving forward.

you kept your eyes locked in front of you, staring directly at the door, but it was difficult to ignore the feeling of dark-brown eyes burning into you.

don’t look that way, keep looking ahead.

you made it outside and into the corridor, running a hand over your heated face with your lips pressed tightly together. a wave of embarrassment washed over you.

you just ran away from the seungmin like a child.

running away has never been your way of solving problems. it was seungmin’s weird behavior that made you act like this. you were just doing this because he made you uncomfortable, right?

turning your head slightly, you peered back at the kitchen door you’d left ajar. the gasp trapped itself in your throat as you locked eyes with seungmin himself. he was standing a few meters away from you with a mug in his hand, seemingly searching for you.

“you forgot your coffee, idiot.” you imagined him saying last word, like he normally would’ve. but instead, he handled you a mug and went back to the kitchen.

no, you were an idiot.

it didn’t go away. the thrum between your legs was a constant reminder of how touch-starved you were. every night your mind went back to the feeling of his hand on your hip, squeezing it slightly, him whispering in your ear, while your hips touch his. the scenarios you were creating in your head were so naughty, it made you even more uncomfortable being around him in person.

this is when it finally hit you. you were not avoiding him, because you were scared of what happened. you were avoiding him, because you were scared of his possible rejection of you.

but then why would he flirt with you? just to hurt you more? just to play with you and then make fun of you like he always does?

“why do you always cause me trouble?! i need this report now!” your boss was fuming.

of course he was. you were daydreaming, thinking about seungmin between your legs, and forgot to make an important report on time. even now seungmin was affecting your work, without even doing anything purposely.

“i don’t want to make it into a high school detention, but you need to figure your shit together. so better do this today after work, or tomorrow before, i don’t care. i need the documents ready tomorrow. and you back to normal condition tomorrow as well.” boss pointed his finger at you.

you bowed and exuded yourself from the room. a sigh escaped your lips. apparently, being in the same workspace with kim seungmin affected you anyway. weeks of trying to avoid any contact led to this - problems in your own work. without any further thinking you decided to stay after work hours.

so there you were - hidden under the piles of paperwork, trying not to go completely insane. your desk was a mess - loose papers, folders, notebooks, to-do lists on sticky notes and a little note with a sketchy portrait of seungmin, that you drew some time ago, because his desk could be seen from your place. maybe you did actually have a crush on him after all. a note with a deadline right next to it made you focus again and stop thinking about this stupid kim seungmin.

“what are you doing here?”

at first you thought you were seeing things. what is he doing here? everyone left like an hour ago. but no, it was real and breathing kim seungmin looking at you smugly.

“do you only ask stupid questions?” you responded in a usual manner, rolling your eyes. it came naturally, even if you didn’t want to be rude to him right now.

“do you only know how to snap back or maybe you need some help?” he answered your question with a question.

as you were about to actually snap back at him, you paused, confused by his words. “what?”

“what?”

“did you just offer your help?” it was definitely a dream.

“you heard me.” without any further discussion, he turned the chair next to you around and sat down, looking at you in anticipation.

this was not happening.

“well… boss said i need to finish this by tomorrow.” you pointed to the mess at the table.

seungmin just nodded in response, rolling up his shirt sleeves and unbuttoning his collar, getting ready to work. this simple gesture made you wet already. the way he did that, with such elegance and calmness, completely out of his character. it also made his veiny arms and neck open to your sight. you clenched you legs, trying to calm down. it was definitely not the time to get all horny over him.

it felt weird. empty office and both of you being completely mute, with just a keyboard clicks breaking the silence. maybe seungmin thought he made you uncomfortable and was trying to bury the hatchet, pretend like everything is normal, like he didn't invade your most intimate thoughts late at night. you could see that seungmin wanted to do something, say something, but he was unsure of how you'd react.

it was talking all your force not to look at him. especially, when the collar was unbuttoned, revealing the cream canvas of skin hidden underneath. you cleared your throat and vaguely realized that he’s been talking to you this entire time. your eyes flicked up to his as you opened your mouth to ask him to repeat whatever he just said. but as your eyes met his you froze again.

“now who’s brain is melt completely?” he mocked your phrase, giving you an incredulous look, pen perched above the paperwork he was signing off.

“what were you saying?” you ignored his usual rudeness.

“do you need to sort this too or no?” he pointed to the papers in another pile.

“well, obviously, everything that’s here needs to be sorted out, then calculated and written down in an excel file.” you scoffed at him out of habit, immediately realizing what you just did, but it was too late.

“why am i even helping you…” he sighed, rather disappointed than angry and stood up.

the way his eyes were staring at you with intensity made you feel that you may have gone a bit further than your normal bickering.

“listen, i didn’t mean to-“ you were cut off by his raised voice.

“of course you don’t mean to! like you always do! it’s just a usual thing - to yell at me at every given moment, right?!”

this was it for you. did he want to argue?

oh well, no need to ask you twice.

“do i yell at you at every given moment?!” you mocked his phrase. “do i try to ruin every day at work for no fucking reason?! am i the asshole and everyone in the office agrees with that title?!”

“so you think i am an asshole…” he pursed his lips, nodding.

“oh don’t try to play the victim now!” you were furious. who does this guy think he is?! “remember last week’s meeting? i was late, because you didn’t wait for me in the elevator! why would you do that other than to piss me off?! you are an asshole!”

“because you look hot when you are mad...” he blurted.

you froze, completely forgetting what you wanted to say. “what?”

“you are right,” he continued. “i try to piss you off, because you look hot when you are mad.”

“y-you, you-“ the words were stuck in your throat.

this was not happening right now.

“you are crazy, you know that?!” you pointed finger at him.

he rolled his eyes. “so are you gonna kiss me or what?”

the mischievous smirk that appeared on his lips set your nerves on fire. feeling like a deer caught in the headlights you froze again, your face burned with embarrassment.

“i know you were fantasizing about me. the way you keep looking at my body like a starved animal, you are so obvious with your needs. i bet you’ve been wet ever since i came here thirty minutes ago.”

“shut up.” you blurted out rapidly, as he started approaching in your direction.

but he didn’t stop at your words - quite the opposite. his pace made you take a few steps back and end up being pinched against the wall, stupidly so. to confirm your helpless position, seungmin placed one hand on your right, blocking your access to escape route.

like you were planning to escape.

“so?”

he was so close to you. your faces were literally a couple of millimeters apart, so you could feel his breath on your lips. it was just like in your fantasies.

you involuntarily gasped when you felt seungmin’s soft lips press against your cheek. soon enough, he whispered in your ear. “that blush on your cheeks is really cute, should I deepen it?”

bringing his mouth closer to you, he pressed his wet tongue against the tender skin under your ear and you quietly whimpered. he wasn’t planning on kissing you yet, no. he was teasing you, like he always did, leaving sloppy kisses down your neck. a shiver went down your spine when the tip of his nose trailed back up to your ear. you let your hands tangle in his hair, while he sucked a trail of bruises down your neck.

no other person's mouth would’ve felt as good on you as his did. it was like you two were made specifically for each other. you knew it as soon as you felt his hand wrap around your hip that day in the kitchen.

his hand slid up your thigh, edging dangerously close to the hem of your skirt. you felt your cheeks flush, you knew that your face had to be red hot by now. you yearned for more contact, it’s been too long since you’ve been touched.

finally pulling away from your neck, he leaned closer to your face again, brushing his lips against yours in a silent question. in response, you closed the gap between the two of you. his lips worked eagerly against yours as his hands massaged little circles on your inner thighs.

the kiss happened to be a lot softer than you expected. maybe your yelling earlier caused your accumulated anger to go away, so now you didn’t feel the usual self while being around seungmin.

when you felt his strong hands smooth over your shirt and around to your back you slightly whimpered and instantly melted as seungmin placed his hands on your waist.

seungmin chuckled into your mouth, nipping at your bottom lip. then he was pawing at your shirt again, this time trying to get it off. in order for him to do that, you had to stop kissing him, but when he tried to pull away from you, you stubbornly followed, chasing his lips with your own.

“wait,” he said, mumbling incoherently against you. “need to get this off.”

you relented when he bit your lip a little harder, and took your shirt off yourself just to be petty. your brattiness wasn’t going anywhere. seungmin narrowed his eyes at you.

“wasn’t done kissing you.” was all you said.

he gave you a wry smile as he moved closer to place a sweet kiss on the edge of the your jaw, instantly reminding how stupidly horny you were.

despite the annoyance in his look, seungmin kisses you again deeply, getting you to moan so that he could slip his tongue into your mouth.

his open collarbones caught your sight again. god, you’ve wanted to do this for so long. breaking the kiss, you learned closer to his neck and placed a kiss on a creamy skin. it was his turn now to groan. you smiled. besides you being touch-starved for such a long time, it didn’t feel weird being intimate with seungmin. to add, it didn’t feel weird hearing his moans and whimpers, while you were sucking on his skin. his grip on your waist tightened, as a loud moan slipped out of his parted lips.

“mhm, please, bite it again-“

“bite again?” you grinned. “i knew you love pain.”

“shut up and do as i asked.” he responded, smacking your ass lightly.

you giggled quietly, following his order and placing another bite on his collarbone. there were already traces of your work on it - creamy skin turned into a burgundy-red. he groaned in a wicked tone at the feeling of your teeth against his skin.

“i need you to fuck me.” you whispered against his lips, trailing down his jaw and neck. you wanted to leave as many marks as you could.

“mhm?”

“i-need-you-to-fuck-me.” you repeated word by word.

oh, he heard you the first time. all he wanted was to hear the words from your mouth again, he needed to know he wasn’t dreaming.

the look in his eyes that he gave you was different than his usual. he wanted you just as bad, as you did. all he wanted to do right now was flip you over and fuck you. he had pictured this for so long and was happy that it was finally happening. surprisingly, you didn’t hate the idea of him fucking you too, like you didn’t hate each other for the past three years.

seungmin’s fingers trailed up your thighs pushing them apart wider. you lifted your skirt up higher for him, as he pulled down your panties.

“fuck-” he groaned seeing your pussy glisten with arousal. he couldn’t resist any longer, he needed that pussy on his tongue.

you didn’t expect him to just get down on his knees in front of you with his pretty face next to your wet cunt. even yesterday this image could be possible only in your dreams. he got closer, pressing his lips to your inner thigh, making your breath hitched at the feeling.

oh, you desperately wanted him.

he gave you one more kiss before he began licking your clit. you gasped at the feeling. your hands flew to his hair the instant you felt his tongue on you, pushing his face further into your pussy. seungmin moaned against you, which made you moan in turn. grabbing his shoulders for stability, you threw your head back. another moan slipped from your lips.

“you taste so good.” he moaned into you, sending through vibrations, helping you closer and closer to your peak.

for a split second your mind went back to the thought that you were still in the office and there must be security cameras around. but you decided to focus on the feeling of seungmin working you closer and closer to the edge with his tongue instead.

“ah-h, fuck, i am so close-“ you whimpered, gripping on his hair tighter.

but as you were about to hit your high, he pulled away from you, grinning.

“no, no i’m so close. please, why’d you stop.” you pleaded, trying to trap him in place with your thighs around his head. “please, seung, i’m right there.” you tried again.

“make me cum and i will make you cum as well.” he cut off, as he stood up in front of you.

ugh.

you obeyed when he turned you around to face the wall. just like you imagined it time and time again. you heard the sound of his belt unbuckling and his pants falling to the ground.

you whimpered, as his palm smacked your ass again.

“i knew you’d like that.” he chuckled, whispering in your neck. “such a whore for me.”

“shut up-“ was all you could say right now. gosh, you were so desperate for him that you let him fuck you in the office.

he smirked, resting his hand on your waist with a firm grip to keep you in place. you moaned feeling him trail his already leaking tip through your wet folds.

you bit your lip, feeling that delicious stretch you‘be been craving for so long. just like him, his dick was long, you felt every vein, as he filled you perfectly. this definitely wasn’t a dream, no - it was heaven. 

his grip on your waist tightened, as he began to fuck you against the wall.

“f-fuck… you are so wet for me-“ incoherent mumbling was leaving his lips.

you were hardly able to reply to him, muffled whimpers escaping your lips as he continued to hit every spot inside of you; the sweet tip of his cock bruising you inside.

“ah, faster, please-” you cried out as soon as seungmin’s thumb started circling your clit. he moved in slow, almost painful pace, compared to his dick; thumb rotating across your bud.

oh gosh, your mind was foggy now. how were you supposed to function with his dick stuffed in your cunt like that?

seungmin pulled you even closer - as if that wasn’t already possible - making you ride through his orgasm. he came hard, hands gripping your hips so tight you thought you’d bruise. you were honestly not far behind him, cumming right after.

it was nothing, but a heavy panting from two of you. after he finally pulled out of you, you turned around and took a good look at his face. it was flushed pink, a dewy sweat on his forehead and chest. he was still panting, a few strands of his hair plastered to the forehead.

you gently removed those strands from his face, receiving his soft smile in return.

“i think it’s time to get back to work now.” he chuckled.

oh shit. you already forgot why you were here in the first place.

“don’t worry, we still have some time till the building closes.” seungmin noticed your furrowed eyebrows and gently rubbed your bottom lip with his thumb, placing a quick kiss afterwards.

“right…” you responded, thinking of how you’d get back to work after feeling his dick ruin you from the inside out.

“can someone explain to me why i received an email from our security this morning with a video of you two fucking in our office?!” your boss was fuming.

of course he was. you just had sex with your coworker in front of security cameras at your workplace. even now seungmin was affecting your work, without even doing anything purpose.

if seungmin wasn’t standing right next to you, you probably would’ve cried your eyes out already. but since he was here, holding your hand, you two couldn’t help, but grin in response, trying not to laugh.

“get out now!” boss shouted at your backs. “and better stay out of my sight until tomorrow!”

as the door closed behind you, you couldn’t help, but giggle like a teenagers.

it wouldn’t have been a normal day in the office, if you and your co-worker kim seungmin hadn’t been caught fucking at the workplace…

-> reblog to support me, if you enjoyed reading this and please let me know your thoughts in the comments! ♡

masterlist | taglist

#skz smut #stray kids #skz x reader #kim seungmin #seungmin #seungmin x reader #seungmin smut #office au #seungmin office #seungmin dom

[mysacredmuse]

soft bf! aventurine headcanons <3 written with gender neutral reader in mind. fluff ! :) there is a small angsty part, but ends up fluffy ehe

let me know if you want more of this, a different character or a different (nsfw) version :3

dividers by @/cafekitsune :)

spoils you rotten. No matter how many times you tell him that it's absolutely unecessary, he insists. He wants you to have everything you want and everything you could possibly need. Pays attention to everything you say and follows every gaze of yours, keeping mental notes of what gift to give you next. At times, he makes gifts by himself. For example, writing 100 reasons why he loves you on pieces of paper that are in your favorite color(s) and putting them in a cute little box that he painted with his own hand. It may not be the best work, but you can truly see the effort <3 + he gets you flowers all the time !!!!!!!

kisseskisseskisses. As soon as he sees you - your face is plastered in countless kisses. He doesn't care if you are in public or not, he will always show you how much he loves you and give you affection. He loves kissing your hands, knuckles, your wrists. He has a habit of kissing the fingertip of your index finger and gently lifting it to your lips, pressing it softly. He also does it to his own fingertip at the times and pressing it on your lips. It's usually when the two of you are alone, simple way of sharing intimacy :3

touchy, feely, touchy, feely. His hands always find a way to be on your body. Either by holding your hand all the time, simply placing it on your lower back or resting it on your thigh when both of you are seated somewhere. If he can, he loves playing with your hair. In any case, he loves just softly running his fingertips on the back of your head.

loves to dance with you as well :3 it doesn't matter if you can't dance, he just loves to sway round and round with you, keeping your body close to his <3

gets you a matching earring <3 (with a clip, in case your ears aren't pierced) + matching rings <3

sometimes, he lets you pick his outfit. But, most of the time, he likes sending you photos and requesting your opinion about his outfit. As soon as you praise him or compliment him you will receive a message that contains 🥰 x 100

sometimes, he wonders are you ashamed of him. He is aware of the opinions of other people as well as the tattoo on his neck. He never hides it, but as soon as the two of you begin to date, he begins to wonder should he cover it up or keep this relationship a secret in case you wish to not "humiliate" yourself. As soon as you reassure him, telling him that you want this relationship to be public and that he could never bring you shame - he lights up. He was looking for the sun for so long and he finally found it in you. He will make sure to always remind you of that and express endless gratitude for being the way you are :)

I mentioned this before, but he is the type to kneel in front of you, gently hugging your legs as he kisses your thighs. It's a form of stress relief for him. Enjoying your skin being so close to him and you being his safe space <3

always leaves notes. If he is going somewhere, you will know either by a text message or by a hand-written note. He always adds a sweet message too - how much he loves you and how he will be thinking of you the entire time <3

loves when you read to him. He didn't exactly learn to write and read for some time (no jokes pls), nor had someone treat him as a child when he was one, therefore he finds you reading to him to be the epitome of safety and warmth as it gives his inner child great comfort :)

loves kids and is great with them! Anytime you go somewhere and for some reason or the other, a child approaches - he will make sure to make it an enjoyable time for them. Either by playing with them, treating them an ice cream or any other snacks or simply listening to their little rambles. He firmly believes that children deserve respect and a good treatment therefore he will always provide his best efforts to keep them happy even if it's for only 5 minutes :)

constantly praises you <3 He compliments everything about you and has genuine interest in anything that may be interesting to you. "If you like it - I love it!" is his main mantra. You will always be heard, always be taken seriously and always complimented and encouraged to be who you are and do what you love to do :)

he is an excellent listener. He may not always have the advice or the solution, but he will always listen to you and comfort you in his own ways. As I mentioned above - you will always be heard by him, no matter the topic at hand :)

he loves to sleep on your lap. It truly gives him so much comfort and warmth <3

he is always proud of you and very open about it. He proudly introduces you as his partner, he loves to switch topics that you enjoy so you can speak more if you'd so like. If you are more introverted, don't fret - he will do all the talk and manage all the conversations. He will also try to get yall home early, so you can recharge and rest <3

on that note, keeps your photos as his phone background. Even shows it to everyone, praises you to them and says that even when he is losing, he is actually the winner because he always goes home to you, his biggest supporter and his own sunshine which makes him the happiest and the luckiest man to ever be alive <3

#aventurine x reader #aventurine x reader fluff #aventurine fluff #aventurine x yn #aventurine x you #hsr aventurine #hsr x reader #hsr x y/n #hsr x gender neutral reader #hsr x you #hsr fluff #muse's writings #gender neutral reader

[sebscore]

gen z!reader is this sweet, bubbly, bright ray of sunshine who could honestly do no wrong, so I'd love to see a fic where in a driver's meeting gen z!reader loses their shit and calls out the FIA for their blatant sexism and misogyny in front of everyone and everyone is shocked cause they've never seen them gets this mad before.

NO ONE LIKES A MAD WOMAN

pairings: f1 grid x driver!reader (+ cameos from brundle, susie and buxton) 

warnings: sexism. fia is fia'ing. swearing. my own unaccurate ruling of penalties (it's for the sake of the story, just go along with it). susie mothering. it wasn't sure to me who conducted the driver's briefing during this time so I just picked a random name from the many that I came across. 

author's note: less comedic one this time, hope you enjoy it anyway! 

masterlist

• • • • • • •

''Alright, thanks for clarifying, Checo.'' Derek concluded, glancing down at his journal to see what the next topic of discussion was. 

The director scratched his voice before addressing the drivers again. ''Uhm, we also wanted to remind everyone to be wary of what they say in the media regarding our organization,'' he stated, ''the FIA has the feeling that there have been deliberate attacks on them the last few weeks and they are willing to give out penalties if it happens again.'' 

The drivers looked at each other, confused by the sudden declaration that the FIA has been receiving ''attacks'' from the drivers. ''Can you give an example, because I think I speak for everyone when I say that I'm confused.'' George spoke up, the others nodding along to his question. 

Derek flipped through his papers, trying to find the notes his colleagues had given him regarding the ''offensive'' comments that had been made against them. 

''Oh, here,'' he put on his reading glasses, holding the piece of paper farther from his face, ''the comment they're referring to was one made by… Y/N at the previous race.'' 

The young woman's head sprung up at the mention of her name, clueless as to how she could have upset the FIA. ''What? W-what did I say?'' She managed to stutter out, all the eyes on her making her feel uneasy. 

''Uh, you were asked about the diversity in the sport and you said, and I quote: 'The FIA should do more regarding women in motorsport, there are still many things that need to be changed.' End quote.'' Derek answered her, putting his paper back in place. 

Y/N frowned at the man. ''I don't see what's wrong with that, to be honest.'' She told him, failing to see how the FIA would feel this was a ''deliberate attack''. 

The director sighed, already getting the suspicion the woman would not be happy with what he was about to say. ''Certain members of the board were offended by your words, because they saw it as you accusing them of being sexist.'' 

The silence in the room was deafening, every single person awaiting Y/N's reaction to Derek's clarification. The drivers took a glimpse at her, trying to read the indifferent expression on her face that didn't give much away about how she was feeling. 

''They think I'm accusing them of being sexist? What I meant was that they should take more actions in encouraging young girls to get into racing- I don't understand how that would correlate to me calling them sexist.'' Her usual cheerful tone was replaced by a monotone voice that almost scared some of her colleagues. 

Derek took a deep breath again. ''Well, they felt like you were insinuating it and they are offended by the alleged insinuation.'' 

''Just because they are offended doesn't mean they're right.'' She bit back, not missing a beat. 

''I'm simply delivering their message, Y/N,'' the director told her politely, wanting to remind her that he's not the person she should be upset with, ''anyway- if you go up there and apologize for your comment, they're considering leaving it as a warning for you and also the others.'' He finished the list of notes they had given him. 

The reaction from the room wasn't one he was expecting; absolute outrage. 

''She shouldn't apologize for that neither should she be penalized for it.'' Sebastian was the first one to speak up, directly looking Derek in the eye. 

The drivers agreed. ''Yeah, it's called freedom of speech.'' Max added, also not seeing why Y/N should go down there and say sorry to the members of the board. 

''Like I said earlier, I'm simply delivering their message.'' Derek repeated himself, feeling the tension and frustration growing in the small space. 

''But don't you see how ridiculous this is?'' Sebastian rebutted, hoping the man at the front could at least agree with them and say that it was indeed a weird request. 

Derek shook his head. ''I'm just the middle man, Seb,'' he sighed, turning his head towards the quiet female driver, ''Y/N, make it easier for yourself and go up there after the meeting, you don't want to receive a penalty for something like this.'' 

''I'm not apologizing.'' Her voice comes out strong, not in an aggressive way, but in a manner that lets everyone know she's not backing down. ''Give me as many penalties as you want, I'm not accepting them.'' She crossed her arms, indicating she was sticking to her words, almost stubbornly. 

The other drivers looked on proudly, glad she was standing by her belief and didn't give in simply because it would make everything ''easier''. Lewis gave her a nod, subtly letting her know he supported her and had her back. 

''Alright, then that will result in a fine of a number that is yet to be determined.'' Derek picked up his pen and wrote down that she would not come by their office, already knowing his colleagues wouldn't be happy with it. 

''Just so you know- I'm not paying that.'' Y/N said, matter-of-factly. 

Derek looked up from his journal. ''If you refuse to pay the fine, we can either add a grid-place penalty or a time penalty.'' He recited the rule as if he had done it a million times before. 

''Derek, this is stupid,'' Kimi decided to voice his opinion, ''the race shouldn't be affected, because of a comment she made that had nothing to do with racing in the first place.'' He defended her, allying behind her stance to not accept any of the penalties they give her. 

''I'm just doing my job, Kimi.'' 

''I also want to just do my job, Derek, which is racing, but these ridiculous rules to silence me prevent me from doing that.'' Y/N argued his response, just wanting him to see her point of view. 

The director's hand went over his face, seemingly wiping his agitation away. ''No one is trying to silence you, Y/N.'' He quickly answered. 

''That's why all the other drivers receive penalties whenever they question the FIA, right?'' Her comment must have shut him up as he solely put his pen down without saying another word about the matter. ''Yeah, that's what I thought.'' 

Y/N felt her presence wasn't longer necessary as she stood up from her chair, ready to leave the room and join her engineering team in preparation for the upcoming race. However, Derek felt different about that. ''The briefing isn't over yet, Y/L. Sit back down, please.'' 

''I'll see you at the next meeting, Derek.'' She ignored his plea and walked towards the door. 

The director stood up from his desk at the front. ''Y/N, if you leave before it's done, the board will-'' 

''The board can kiss my ass.'' 

''Y/N Y/L RECEIVES A 20-PLACE GRID PENALTY AHEAD OF THE 2021 SPANISH GRAND PRIX DUE TO DAMAGING REMARKS AGAINST THE FIA'' 

''FIA RE-EVALUATING Y/N Y/N's PENALTY AFTER BACKLASH'' 

''FIA SUSPENDS GRID PENALTY OF Y/N Y/L DUE TO AN ERROR'' 

The day after the driver's briefing had been quite eventful to say the least. As soon as the FIA announced that she had been given a penalty, the backlash from drivers, fans and reporters started. 

Lewis had condemned their decision claiming it was based on nothing and that nothing about her comment was an attack on the organization. His teammate, Valtteri, followed him in his opinion stating: ''Drivers should be able to say what they want to say, she doesn't deserve a penalty for that.'' 

Sky Sports F1 reporter, Martin Brundle, also came to the driver's defense. ''If we're going to punish drivers for stating their opinions, we might as well get rid of the entire sport, especially if what they're saying isn't far from the truth.'' 

After finishing P5 in the race, Y/N spoke to Will Buxton in her post-race interview. ''You must be very happy with your result today, considering you almost had to start from the very back of the grid.'' 

''I'm content with today's race, obviously would have loved a podium but Mercedes was better today,'' she chuckled, ''yeah, it wasn't fun waking up to that news, but I'm happy that it was reversed and the support I received was just- wow, I'm very grateful for everyone.'' 

''According to some sources, it got pretty heated in the driver's briefing on friday- would you like to clarify?'' Will asked her. 

A sarcastic laugh left her mouth. ''I would just like to forget about it, moving on is the best thing to do right now.'' She smoothly avoided the question, figuring she shouldn't make the FIA more mad by airing out all their business. 

''Alright, thank you so much for talking to us, Y/N and congratulations on your race today.'' He nodded, bidding her goodbye. 

On her way back to her team's hospitality, she was stopped by none other than Susie Wolff. ''Lewis told us what happened during the briefing- I'm very proud of you for standing up for yourself, not everyone could have done that.'' 

''It was so awful, Susie,'' Y/N hugged the older woman, ''it's like they just wanted to give me some sort of punishment- I don't even want to know what would have happened if I went down there by myself.'' Susie rubs her back at her words, also not wanting to think about what could have gone down. 

''It's okay now, honey,'' they pulled apart, Susie's hand staying on her shoulder, ''by the way- did you really say that the board could kiss your ass?'' 

Y/N laughed at her question, excitedly nodding her head. ''At first I wanted to say something like 'the board can stick that penalty right up their ass’ but I needed a cool getaway so I opted for something shorter.'' 

''Atta girl'' 

taglist :: @i0veless @missskid @missthem @rosesintj @evans-dejong @thehistoryone @dreamycloudsworld @formulazeesworld @muushmeg @topguncultleader @the-great-adventures-of-me @love13tter @xcharlottemikaelsonx @kiwisa @starkwlkr @nora_moon @princesselle2111 @valluvsu @thatsadsmallchild @babyyoda89 @milkbreadforlife @fxllfaiiry @hc-dutch @its-ash-not-grey @princessbetsy123-blog @mehrmonga @nyenye @screechingtrashkid @ahnneyong @holybatflapexpert @itsnotgray @beautycinders @scuderialavender @rowansshit @uhhevie @revengze @nylaslife @majx00 @multi-universe21 @jaydensluv @isasalom @gentlemonsterjennie1 @appledashhh @breathinfive @lighttsoutlewis 

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#f1 fic #f1 fics #f1 x reader #formula 1 fic #f1 x oc #f1!drivers x fem!driver #f1 female driver #female f1 driver #formula one fics #formula 1 oc

[cocklessboy]

I see a lot of people saying that gender-affirming health care like top surgery for trans people like myself should be freely available (which is correct), but one of the reasons they often give is that top surgery is very safe and has a very low rate of complications compared to other surgeries. And I often see transphobes clutching their pearls over the few people who do have complications. What about them?! What if you're one of the unlucky ones?! Should we really let those transes risk it??!!!

Setting aside the fact that no one raises such concerns over other types of surgery, I'd like to use myself as an example for anyone who needs one.

In May of 2022 I had top surgery (double mastectomy). The surgery was done by a gynecological surgeon, not a plastic surgeon, because that way my insurance would cover it.

The surgeon did his job and removed the breast tissue, but he did not make it look pretty. I have dog-ears at both ends of both scars (extra bits of skin that hang off in a very unappealing fashion), my chest still looks unnaturally flat with no muscle or fat despite a lot of working out, and one of the stitches didn't heal properly and was left as an open wound through "secondary healing" for several months before it finally healed over into a very large scab (and eventually a very large scar). My nipples are uneven and irregular and look... well, just awful, really. Due to bad genetic luck, I wound up with keloid scars which, instead of getting smaller and lighter over time, have instead expanded, becoming thicker and darker. Worst of all, I now have chronic nerve pain in my chest. My GP thinks the surgeon must have hit a nerve during the procedure, and now I have random sharp pains all over my chest even now, nearly ten months later. The pain might improve with time, or it might not.

I basically had almost every possible complication one can have from this surgery short of infection or death. Some of the aesthetics might be fixable with more surgery (though plastic surgery will be expensive). Some are probably permanent. I might never feel comfortable taking my shirt off in public again. I might have to tattoo over the scars.

And pay attention to this next bit, because it's the most important part of this whole post: I do not regret the surgery. Even with all the complications and the ugly state of my chest and the pain. If someone said they could push a button and make it so that the surgery never happened and I'd have a perfect, unmarred chest with C-cup breasts again, I would tell them to take their button and fuck right off. Because even with basically the worst of all possible outcomes, that surgery was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I don't feel good about taking my shirt off in front of people now. I do think my chest is ugly. But it's a male chest now. When I put on a t-shirt, it rests flat against my chest. No one will ever mistake me for a woman again. I'll never have to wear a bra or binder ever again.

The dysphoria I felt from having breasts was so severe that a hideously scarred chest and chronic pain are vastly preferable. The euphoria I feel when I look in the mirror with a shirt on is something I never knew I was capable of feeling.

And it's my fucking body, and it's up to me what I do with it. If I wanted to tattoo myself from head to toe, or file my teeth into fangs, or have a doctor break my legs and surgically implant extensions to make me taller, that's my right because it's my body. The fact that all those things are regarded as basically acceptable (if a little weird), but I had to have a dehumanizing interview with an old cis psychiatrist who hates trans people and wants us all sterilized just to get a piece of paper giving me permission to have my tits removed, is fucking absurd.

Top surgery (of any kind) is generally very safe, and complications are rare. But even with the worst outcome, a trans person will basically never regret it.

And frankly, if a cis woman wants her tits cut off, or a cis man wants a pair of boobs to play with on his own chest, more power to them because literally who gives a fuck what people do to their own bodies? I saw a dude on TV when I was a kid who'd tattooed his whole body to look like a cat, filed his teeth into fangs, and had loads of plastic surgery to surgically implant whiskers and make his face look more feline. It was weird! But literally no one said that should be banned because he might regret it. It's his body to do whatever weird shit he wants with.

The next time someone clutches their pearls and kicks and screams about how you can't let someone permanently alter their body in a way they might regret, feel free to point to me and my complete and utter lack of regret.

(Or have a little fun with it, go hard in the other direction, and say you absolutely agree, which is why we should ban ALL non-emergency surgeries until the patient has been FULLY evaluated by three psychiatrists - along with tattoos and piercings. Oh, and ballet lessons for anyone under the age of 25, since ballet changes the structure of a child's body FOREVER.)

#transgender #transmasc #trans man #lgbtqia+ #queer #top surgery #gender dysphoria

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Amazon’s financial shell game let it create an “impossible” monopoly

I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me in TUCSON (Mar 9-10), then San Francisco (Mar 13), Anaheim, and more!

For the pro-monopoly crowd that absolutely dominated antitrust law from the Carter administration until 2020, Amazon presents a genuinely puzzling paradox: the company's monopoly power was never supposed to emerge, and if it did, it should have crumbled immediately.

Pro-monopoly economists embody Ely Devons's famous aphorism that "If economists wished to study the horse, they wouldn’t go and look at horses. They’d sit in their studies and say to themselves, ‘What would I do if I were a horse?’":

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/27/economism/#what-would-i-do-if-i-were-a-horse

Rather than using the way the world actually works as their starting point for how to think about it, they build elaborate models out of abstract principles like "rational actors." The resulting mathematical models are so abstractly elegant that it's easy to forget that they're just imaginative exercises, disconnected from reality:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/03/all-models-are-wrong/#some-are-useful

These models predicted that it would be impossible for Amazon to attain monopoly power. Even if they became a monopoly – in the sense of dominating sales of various kinds of goods – the company still wouldn't get monopoly power.

For example, if Amazon tried to take over a category by selling goods below cost ("predatory pricing"), then rivals could just wait until the company got tired of losing money and put prices back up, and then those rivals could go back to competing. And if Amazon tried to keep the loss-leader going indefinitely by "cross-subsidizing" the losses with high-margin profits from some other part of its business, rivals could sell those high margin goods at a lower margin, which would lure away Amazon customers and cut the supply lines for the price war it was fighting with its discounted products.

That's what the model predicted, but it's not what happened in the real world. In the real world, Amazon was able use its access to the capital markets to embark on scorched-earth predatory pricing campaigns. When diapers.com refused to sell out to Amazon, the company casually committed $100m to selling diapers below cost. Diapers.com went bust, Amazon bought it for pennies on the dollar and shut it down:

https://www.theverge.com/2019/5/13/18563379/amazon-predatory-pricing-antitrust-law

Investors got the message: don't compete with Amazon. They can remain predatory longer than you can remain solvent.

Now, not everyone shared the antitrust establishment's confidence that Amazon couldn't create a durable monopoly with market power. In 2017, Lina Khan – then a third year law student – published "Amazon's Antitrust Paradox," a landmark paper arguing that Amazon had all the tools it needed to amass monopoly power:

https://www.yalelawjournal.org/note/amazons-antitrust-paradox

Today, Khan is chair of the FTC, and has brought a case against Amazon that builds on some of the theories from that paper. One outcome of that suit is an unprecedented look at Amazon's internal operations. But, as the Institute for Local Self-Reliance's Stacy Mitchell describes in a piece for The Atlantic, key pieces of information have been totally redacted in the court exhibits:

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2024/02/amazon-profits-antitrust-ftc/677580/

The most important missing datum: how much money Amazon makes from each of its lines of business. Amazon's own story is that it basically breaks even on its retail operation, and keeps the whole business afloat with profits from its AWS cloud computing division. This is an important narrative, because if it's true, then Amazon can't be forcing up retail prices, which is the crux of the FTC's case against the company.

Here's what we know for sure about Amazon's retail business. First: merchants can't live without Amazon. The majority of US households have Prime, and 90% of Prime households start their ecommerce searches on Amazon; if they find what they're looking for, they buy it and stop. Thus, merchants who don't sell on Amazon just don't sell. This is called "monopsony power" and it's a lot easier to maintain than monopoly power. For most manufacturers, a 10% overnight drop in sales is a catastrophe, so a retailer that commands even a 10% market-share can extract huge concessions from its suppliers. Amazon's share of most categories of goods is a lot higher than 10%!

What kind of monopsony power does Amazon wield? Well, for one thing, it is able to levy a huge tax on its sellers. Add up all the junk-fees Amazon charges its platform sellers and it comes out to 45-51%:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/25/greedflation/#commissar-bezos

Competitive businesses just don't have 45% margins! No one can afford to kick that much back to Amazon. What is a merchant to do? Sell on Amazon and you lose money on every sale. Don't sell on Amazon and you don't get any business.

The only answer: raise prices on Amazon. After all, Prime customers – the majority of Amazon's retail business – don't shop for competitive prices. If Amazon wants a 45% vig, you can raise your Amazon prices by a third and just about break even.

But Amazon is wise to that: they have a "most favored nation" rule that punishes suppliers who sell goods more cheaply in rival stores, or even on their own site. The punishments vary, from banishing your products to page ten million of search-results to simply kicking you off the platform. With publishers, Amazon reserves the right to lower the prices they set when listing their books, to match the lowest price on the web, and paying publishers less for each sale.

That means that suppliers who sell on Amazon (which is anyone who wants to stay in business) have to dramatically hike their prices on Amazon, and when they do, they also have to hike their prices everywhere else (no wonder Prime customers don't bother to search elsewhere for a better deal!).

Now, Amazon says this is all wrong. That 45-51% vig they claim from business customers is barely enough to break even. The company's profits – they insist – come from selling AWS cloud service. The retail operation is just a public service they provide to us with cross-subsidy from those fat AWS margins.

This is a hell of a claim. Last year, Amazon raked in $130 billion in seller fees. In other words: they booked more revenue from junk fees than Bank of America made through its whole operation. Amazon's junk fees add up to more than all of Meta's revenues:

https://s2.q4cdn.com/299287126/files/doc_financials/2023/q4/AMZN-Q4-2023-Earnings-Release.pdf

Amazon claims that none of this is profit – it's just covering their operating expenses. According to Amazon, its non-AWS units combined have a one percent profit margin.

Now, this is an eye-popping claim indeed. Amazon is a public company, which means that it has to make thorough quarterly and annual financial disclosures breaking down its profit and loss. You'd think that somewhere in those disclosures, we'd find some details.

You'd think so, but you'd be wrong. Amazon's disclosures do not break out profits and losses by segment. SEC rules actually require the company to make these per-segment disclosures:

https://scholarship.law.stjohns.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=3524&context=lawreview#:~:text=If%20a%20company%20has%20more,income%20taxes%20and%20extraordinary%20items.

That rule was enacted in 1966, out of concern that companies could use cross-subsidies to fund predatory pricing and other anticompetitive practices. But over the years, the SEC just…stopped enforcing the rule. Companies have "near total managerial discretion" to lump business units together and group their profits and losses in bloated, undifferentiated balance-sheet items:

https://www.ucl.ac.uk/bartlett/public-purpose/publications/2021/dec/crouching-tiger-hidden-dragons

As Mitchell points you, it's not just Amazon that flouts this rule. We don't know how much money Google makes on Youtube, or how much Apple makes from the App Store (Apple told a federal judge that this number doesn't exist). Warren Buffett – with significant interest in hundreds of companies across dozens of markets – only breaks out seven segments of profit-and-loss for Berkshire Hathaway.

Recall that there is one category of data from the FTC's antitrust case against Amazon that has been completely redacted. One guess which category that is! Yup, the profit-and-loss for its retail operation and other lines of business.

These redactions are the judge's fault, but the real fault lies with the SEC. Amazon is a public company. In exchange for access to the capital markets, it owes the public certain disclosures, which are set out in the SEC's rulebook. The SEC lets Amazon – and other gigantic companies – get away with a degree of secrecy that should disqualify it from offering stock to the public. As Mitchell says, SEC chairman Gary Gensler should adopt "new rules that more concretely define what qualifies as a segment and remove the discretion given to executives."

Amazon is the poster-child for monopoly run amok. As Yanis Varoufakis writes in Technofeudalism, Amazon has actually become a post-capitalist enterprise. Amazon doesn't make profits (money derived from selling goods); it makes rents (money charged to people who are seeking to make a profit):

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/28/cloudalists/#cloud-capital

Profits are the defining characteristic of a capitalist economy; rents are the defining characteristic of feudalism. Amazon looks like a bazaar where thousands of merchants offer goods for sale to the public, but look harder and you discover that all those stallholders are totally controlled by Amazon. Amazon decides what goods they can sell, how much they cost, and whether a customer ever sees them. And then Amazon takes $0.45-51 out of every dollar. Amazon's "marketplace" isn't like a flea market, it's more like the interconnected shops on Disneyland's Main Street, USA: the sign over the door might say "20th Century Music Company" or "Emporium," but they're all just one store, run by one company.

And because Amazon has so much control over its sellers, it is able to exercise power over its buyers. Amazon's search results push down the best deals on the platform and promote results from more expensive, lower-quality items whose sellers have paid a fortune for an "ad" (not really an ad, but rather the top spot in search listings):

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/29/aethelred-the-unready/#not-one-penny-for-tribute

This is "Amazon's pricing paradox." Amazon can claim that it offers low-priced, high-quality goods on the platform, but it makes $38b/year pushing those good deals way, way down in its search results. The top result for your Amazon search averages 29% more expensive than the best deal Amazon offers. Buy something from those first four spots and you'll pay a 25% premium. On average, you need to pick the seventeenth item on the search results page to get the best deal:

https://scholarship.law.bu.edu/faculty_scholarship/3645/

For 40 years, pro-monopoly economists claimed that it would be impossible for Amazon to attain monopoly power over buyers and sellers. Today, Amazon exercises that power so thoroughly that its junk-fee revenues alone exceed the total revenues of Bank of America. Amazon's story – that these fees barely stretch to covering its costs – assumes a nearly inconceivable level of credulity in its audience. Regrettably – for the human race – there is a cohort of senior, highly respected economists who possess this degree of credulity and more.

Of course, there's an easy way to settle the argument: Amazon could just comply with SEC regs and break out its P&L for its e-commerce operation. I assure you, they're not hiding this data because they think you'll be pleasantly surprised when they do and they don't want to spoil the moment.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/01/managerial-discretion/#junk-fees

Image: Doc Searls (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/docsearls/4863121221/

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

#pluralistic #amazon #ilsr #institute for local self-reliance #amazon's antitrust paradox #antitrust #trustbusting #ftc #lina khan #aws #cross-subsidization #stacy mitchell #junk fees #most favored nation #sec #securities and exchange commission #segmenting #managerial discretion #ecommerce #technofeudalism

[savingcrxws]

EYES ON FIRE | maybe someday

[ prev chap ] [ next chap ]

synopsis. you and carmen just keep bumping into each other.

word count. 4.3k (gah damn)

warnings. language, hardly proofread again i'm sorry its an addiction

authors note. thank u guys so much for the support in these previous chapters! it’s really amazing to me that u guys enjoyed it so much! i would recommend listening to maybe someday by the cure for this chapter!

“Yeah, Sugar. The appointment is booked for Thursday, the reps will probably be coming in at like…three o’clock,” you mutter, flipping through the manila folder absolutely stuffed with documents and sticky notes. 

You pursue your lips at all you had to get done within this week alone–sign installation permit, permit to replace the hot water heater, permit to fix the ventilation systems, reapply for occupancy capacity signs because of the restaurants lack of other permits, and holy shit…

You completely forgot to schedule the follow-up appointment with the BACP consultant. 

You groan, slamming the thick folder into your forehead, the papers thwacking against your skull. Natalie sounds startled on the other end of the phone, no doubt hearing the sound on her end of the call. She questions if you’re okay, and you only respond with a gentle hum before tossing the folder back down on the office table. 

“Hey, Suge, do you think I can call you back later? I need to schedule a follow-up consultation with Raquel before another rep hops on my ass about the boiler replacement.” 

“Of course, hun, call me back whenever you can,” Sugar starts and you can hear some papers flicking in her side of the call as well.

You had managed to convince her to work from home more often, worried that all the stress from the demolition inside would affect her pregnancy and her overall wellbeing. After some back and forth, she had begrudgingly agreed to spend two days working on the project from the comfort of her own couch. 

And even though she complains still, you know she appreciates she has a little bit more time off of her feet. 

“Don’t work yourself too hard, okay, Bug?” 

You nod, even though you know she can’t see you. “Same for you, Bear.” Sugar hums once again before you both give your goodbyes and end the call. 

You expel all of the air out of your chest in a large puff as you slide down the office chair.

After signing onto Team Bear, your new home-away-from-home had been this tiny office in the back of the restaurant. For the most part, no one came in and disrupted your work, which allowed you to have your head shoved into piles of paperwork, be stuck on phone calls, and be forced to reread legal jargon for hours on end with little interruption. 

Well, as little interruption as there could be with the restaurant quite literally falling apart around you. 

Thankfully, everyone was very respectful of your work in helping the developing business. You were practically putting every ounce of knowledge that you learned from both college and the real-world experience (including connections within the industry) to help push the restaurant closer to the deadline. All the while still dealing with your other commitments to other businesses that you had prior to signing on to this project.

Staying at The Bear for eight hours a day had its benefits, though.

For example, there was always something entertaining going on in the background. Like last Tuesday, when Fak had decided to send a sledgehammer directly into the only remaining wall of the office–sending bits and pieces of drywall onto your clothes.

Another benefit of being stuck in that office chair is that you had an excuse to ignore everyone around you. And by everyone, you really mean Carmen.

After the awkward office run-in last week, the two of you hardly spoke to each other. Sure, there was the ‘hellos’ and ‘goodbyes’ that you threw to each other and the words you exchanged when you caught him up on the status of licensing, but you two had yet to have an actual conversation.

It was clear that the both of you were still walking on eggshells around each other—and everyone could see it. But you had an inkling feeling that Carmen had been wanting to say something, judging by the short glances you sometimes catch him throwing in your direction.

Kinda similar to the one that he’s giving you right now.

You feel the heat of his stare on your face before you see it. He’d been staring at you for a couple moments now, long enough for you to no longer consider it an inquisitive glance.

You peek up from the folder and make solid eye contact with Carmen through the hole in the wall. The man flushes almost immediately, the red color sinking past his collar. You purse your lips and give a small nod of acknowledgment and he stutters in his spot.

And then he’s turning away.

Like he wasn’t the one just staring at you a moment ago.

You roll your eyes and turn back to your original position in the seat. Picking the folder up again, you flick to the papers listing the requirements for the next fire suppression test.

“Men,” you mutter, before picking up your phone and making a phone call.

Three days later, the office is completely demolished and your work revolving around The Bear has been moved to a family-owned coffee shop two blocks over.

In the short span of time, all of the walls in the store had been busted down and the restaurant had practically turned into a hazardous wasteland. And since construction was too far out of your pay grade, you decided to leave the heavy lifting up to everyone else.

“Alright, permit done!” You throw your hands up in the air, your theatrics catching the attention of a couple next to you. You could hardly care for the stares, though, you had been working on getting that permit for the past four days straight. Slamming your laptop shut, you pack up your bags and head off to the cash register to buy another coffee before you go.

While you wait for your drink, you decide to scroll aimlessly through your phone to kill some time.

“Oh shit,” you hear a voice utter behind you, and you barely have time to process the word before something ice cold is running down your back. “Fuck, I’m fucking sorry, I didn’t even see you—“

You gasp on reflex, taking a step forward and shivering. The person who spilled their drink on you is stuttering out apologies. The liquid seeps into the jacket you were wearing and you pull it off immediately.

“Yo, what the fuck, dude,” you curse, watching the large stain of coffee spread even farther across your jacket. “Watch where the hell you’re walking—”

In the middle of trying to give the perpetrator a piece of your mind, you failed to recognize the familiar sound of the voice that was spewing apology out of apology. But in a second, your eyes met a recognizable set of blue and you halted your words.

In front of you stands Carmen Berzatto. In his signature colored sweater and a half-spilled cup of coffee in his hand.

And he looks petrified.

It seems he didn’t realize just who was the unlucky victim to his americano attack either until you turned around. His mouth agape, he utters out a jumbled apology, glancing back at you, your stained jacket, and the cup in his hand like his brain was still trying to understand what just happened.

“Uh-uh, fuck, sorry, I swear this wasn’t on purpose,” he rambles, placing his cup on the counter behind you and grabbing some napkins right after. He steps back towards you and shoves his hand of napkins to you. “Here, shit, I’m so sorry.”

You sigh, taking the napkins from him, noting the slight tremor that persisted in his hands as you did so. Taking in a slow breath, you close your eyes and count to ten before responding. “It’s okay, Carmen. Don’t worry about it.”

And even though you tried to maintain your peace, you can hear the annoyance seeping out of your words. Carmen glances around the counter before looking back at you and your soaked jacket. You know he probably wants to apologize some more, but honestly, one more apology might land him with a punch to the gut. 

Just as he opens his mouth, you raise your free hand, silencing him immediately. You shake your head in dismissal before taking the napkins offered to you and blotting the coffee out of the fabric of your jacket. Carmen simply stood in his place, watching you, seeing if he could do anything to redeem himself in this situation. 

However, after they called your name for your drink order, you dumped the used napkins in the trash, took your drink and hightailed it out of the café without one more word to the man. 

After the coffee shop incident, you swear that you started to see Carmen everywhere. 

You needed a quiet place to plan outside of your house so you went to one of the local libraries. Guess who’s walking outside the building?

You need a late night snack and decide to hit up the corner store. Guess who’s in the refrigerated section?

Hell, you decide to stay late at The Bear for some last minute checkups? Guess who forgot to grab a few things before leaving that night?

You swear that before you hopped on The Bear train, you never even saw a glimpse of the man. Sure, you lived relatively near the restaurant, but Chicago is fucking huge, there’s no way you would run into one of the few people that you’re trying to avoid. 

Absolutely not, apparently. 

Finally finishing up the weekly budget report and estimate for the following weeks till open, you decide to take a step away from work for a second and give your brain some time to breath. 

“Hey, Syd, if anyone needs me, I’m outside taking a smoke break, ‘kay,” you yell across the restaurant, receiving a thumbs up from her from the other side of the room. “Be back in 15!”

Reaching into your bag, you pull out a pack of cigs and a lighter before heading to the back entrance of the restaurant. You place the cigarette between your lips and head to the backdoor. Stepping out and around the alley to the designated smoke corner, you fiddle with the lighter switch, hearing the light sizzle but seeing no flames emerge. 

You groan, flicking the lighter again and again and still no lig–

“Umm, uh, you need a light?”

You scream, your heart almost skipping a beat and falling out on the concrete below you. In your alarm, both your cigarette and the lighter drop on to the ground. "Shit," you mutter and throw a glance over at whoever had scared the living shit out of you and, surprise suprise . . .

There was Carmen, standing in the alley a few feet away from the door. One leg was kicked up to rest his foot against the wall behind him and a cigarette hung loosely between his fingers. His eyes trailed across you for a second, then he glanced at the cigarette on the ground before taking another draw from his own and staring out the wall in front of him.

If you had half of the energy, you would tell him off for scaring the shit out of you and book it out of the enclosed space.

Lucky for Carmen, however, you really needed that cigarette.

Reaching back into your bag once more, you pull out another cig and walk slowly over to the man. Your steps gain his attention once again and when your eyes met you gestured to the lighter hanging out of his cooking apron.

He grabs the lighter and hands it to you. As you reach out to grab it, your fingers brush against his knuckles. Some quick thought in the back of your head wishes that that physical interaction lasted a little longer, but you're quick to shoo that away into the deep recesses of your mind.

Lighting your cigarette, you hand the lighter back to him before taking a drag. Blowing the smoke out, you slid down the wall until you could lean back into a squat against it.

The two of you just stand there, in complete silence aside from the occasional cough from an improper pull. This quiet isn't nearly as awkward as the first run-in the two of you had. Maybe it's because of the nicotine or maybe it's because continuously running into Carmen over these past days had subconsciously made you a little more comfortable with his presence.

. . .

Nah, it definitely had to be the nicotine.

You glance up at Carmen, who continues to smoke even though his stick had turned into a bud a while ago. You make note of the new tattoos that run down his arms and hands, eyes stopping at the rose flower tattoo on his left hand.

You remember when he got that one done with you at the parlor for his eighteenth birthday.

Subconsciously, you rub at the matching rose on your thigh before sighing and focusing back on your cigarette. Young, dumb decisions, you think.

Above you, Carmen watches your focus retreat back and purses his lips. In all honesty, Carmen usually never finishes a whole cigarette, but he really needed an excuse to stay out here longer with you.

These past couple of days had been tormenting him just as much as it had been you, albeit for different reasons. Everytime Carmen ran into you, whether it be in that cafe or that random grocery store that one early morning, he was plagued with memories of everything that he had fucked up.

Not just the relationship that he had fucked, but the happiness that he had stolen from the both of you.

And he had so desperately been trying to apologize, but every time you saw his face, you would get that look on your own. That dread, the anxiousness, that annoyance. That anger.

Whenever he saw that expression on your face, he would get too choked up to say anything of significance. A simple 'hey" would be all that would leave his mouth. Either that or he would stutter like he was a fucking kid again and embarrass himself in front of you like he seems to be doing constantly lately.

Carmen sighs, taking a final hit from his cigarette before stomping it out on the ground. By all previous experience, Carmen would book it out of the area by now, but something in his gut was telling him to stay this time.

Glancing down at you once more, he sees that you have taken to scrolling through your phone to kill the time. He bites the corner of his lip and decides to sit against the wall like you.

Instinctively, you toss him a questioning glance but when he didn't make any move to speak or gesture towards you, you shook your head and went back to whatever video had popped up on your feed.

Fuck it, he thought.

"I'm sorry."

You halt in the middle of your smoke, nearly coughing on the fumes but managing to swallow it. You look over at Carmen inquisitively, wondering where the hell that apology came from. The dirty blonde was wringing his hands, mouth opening and shutting as if he was trying to get the words out.

"Sorry for the, uh," he mutters, casting a quick glance in your direction to assure himself that you were listening. "Sorry for the, for uh-You know I didn't-I don't know how-"

"Yo, Carmen," you interrupt the world vomit that he was spewing, tossing your cigarette down before snuffing out the light with your shoe. You center your focus back on the man next to you, who seemed to only have you in his attention. "Just say what you want to say. No bullshit."

Your blunt words seem to ground Carmen long enough for him to gather his thoughts. He nods his head rapidly in that way he does when he's clearly overwhelmed before he clears his throat. He takes in a large inhale and clears his throat, ready to speak again.

"I want to apologize. For everything. For how much of an jackoff I was back then, and for how much I am right now," Carmen stars, eyes staring solidly into yours to show just how serious he is. "I didn't deserve you, and you did nothing to deserve the way that we ended."

You feel something burn the back of your throat at the mention of the end of your relationship. The total radio silence from him for the days prior, and just when you had managed to gather the courage to ask the question of just what the hell are we doing, Carmy, you were cast aside like nothing.

He was right, you didn’t deserve that.

Pushing back the feelings bubbling up in your chest, you nod your head to signal that you were listening.

"I-I, it's no excuse, but I was really going through some serious shit. And I really felt that if I cut everyone out of my life, I could actually get a second to breathe you know," Carmen pauses and you open your mouth to speak, but he continues. "I-I just know you deserved-you deserve better. But seeing you in this restaurant day-in and day-out, working away to help my sister, my crew--help me? I just felt even more like a piece of shit."

He turns fully towards you now and you can see his eyes turning red from the emotion he was clearly holding behind his words. "You didn't deserve what I did, and you definitely don't deserve to be cleaning up my messes now."

"You deserved the world, and I'm sorry I couldn't give it to you."

His last words send a sharp pang into your chest. Here you two sat, sitting next to each other, the distance between you two seemed to be filled with words unsaid. You stare into his eyes a little longer, at a loss for what to say completely.

On one hand, you wanted to reject his apology, tell him to fuck off and leave him alone in this alleyway. He would deserve it after everything.

But he has that familiar kicked puppy-dog look in his eyes and he's chewed his lip red, and he's actually sorry.

You sigh, leaning your head back to rest against the wall behind you. Staring up at the sky, you trace the shapes of the clouds above as you collect your thoughts.

"Yeah," you start, nodding your head to yourself. Carmen tenses up at the ambiguity behind both your words and your tone. He would have to have his own head shoved up his ass if he didn't realize that you had every right to refuse his plea for forgiveness. Frankly, that's exactly what he was expecting you to do.

"Yeah, okay. I can forgive you, Berzatto."

Carmen's heart sinks into his guts, mouth slightly agape in pure shock. "You-you can?"

You give a small smile, turning your head to face the man. "Yeah, Carmen, I accept your apology."

The dirty blonde opens his mouth again but you put a hand up in the space between you, effectively shutting him up for a second.

"But," you trail, "I'm gonna forward you that dry cleaning bill from that cafe, asshat. I've been trying to get that shit out for days now."

Carmen flushes a bright red at the mention of the coffee shop run-in you two had, a broken chuckle leaving his mouth at the obvious teasing tone in your voice. You were joking with him, for the first time in years, you two had managed to glimpse at the level of comfortability that you once shared.

Carmen chuckles again, running a hand through his curls. "Yeah, well, can I raincheck that until after the restaurant starts making money? I'm kinda flat fucking broke right now."

You giggle at the honesty behind his words. "Yeah, I ran those calculations by the way. Have fun being flat broke for at least three months after The Bear opens."

"Shit," Carmen mutters, a grin still on his face.

"Yeah, shit." You nod in his direction before pushing yourself off your crouched position on the ground. "Anyway, I'm gonna head inside to get back on that shit. Fak's fucking electric guy keeps flaking on us."

Carmen's eyes follow your form as you stand, holding eye contact with you when you glance back down at him. "Yeah, yeah, I should probably meet up with Syd for the chaos menu anyway."

He hurriedly stands up, wiping his hands on his work pants. After he finishes, he looks at you once again, noting the small smile on your face. For a second, he swears his heart skips a beat.

"For the record, Carmy," you play with the nickname on your tongue, having not said it in quite some time. Carmen flushes before nodding for you to continue. The small on your face falls for a second as you look at him. "You pull that shit with me again, I'm sicking the dogs on your ass. Seriously."

Carmen clears his throat, straightening up at the more serious tone of your voice. Although you were not nearly as angry looking at him as before, he knew that you were serious. There were no more apologies after this, no more fuckups.

You look at him expectantly, waiting for some form of acknowledgment.

He nods. "Yes, chef."

After the conversation outside The Bear, you and Carmen seemed to flow together much easier than before. Granted there was the occasional stray glance casted in your direction from the man, but overall, the two of you were on much more agreeable terms.

The rest of the crew seemed to notice the absence of uncertain tension between the two of you. You explained to Tina, Richie, and Sugar that you two had simply talked it out and were no longer on "spiteful ex" terms.

Richie, being the annoying man that he is, insisted that something else must've happened--to which you responded with a firm shoulder check and yet another middle finger.

Overall, the two of you seemed to only talk about business stuff, which made it easier for conversations to flow. Less personal, more concrete talks.

"Alright, Carmy, we got that certificate of occupancy, right?" You question, running down the legal checklist once again. When you heard no response, you asked again, only to be ignored again. Finally looking up from your screen, you glance up at the man, trying to figure out what could have possibly distracted him this time.

He's glancing, moreso glaring, down at his phone, watching it ring but making no moves to pick it up. He's spaced out almost, like he's lost in his thoughts.

You clear your throat and decide to try his name again. "Carmen!"

He shoots up a little and looks at you, muttering an apology out as he clicks his phone off and slides it into his back pocket. "What were you asking?"

"Umm, I was trying to see if you got that certificate of occupancy from Cicero mailed in," you raise an eyebrow at him. "You know, the one we need to get that other big, shiny certificate that shows that we can legal conduct business in the state of Illinois? That certificate?"

"Uhh, yeah, yeah. Mailed it in the other day, yeah."

You squint at his weird responses before shaking your head and diving back into your work. "Well, on another note, I've been speaking with a liason down at the office and he said we can have our second fire suppression test in two weeks instead of the project four."

Carmen walks up to the foldable chair you were sitting in, peering over your shoulder to look at your screen. He rests his hand against the back of your chair unconsciously and you can feel the heat of his body radiating off of him. You clear your throat and lean forward a little to get some distance between the two of you.

"Who's that going to?" The man points to an email that you are in the middle of drafting. Your eyes follow and land on the email you were writing to one of your school buddies. "Oh that? I'm just messaging one of my old classmates from college about an idea I had about our issues with that retail food license thing."

Carmen humms, peeking down at you as you explained the process you were thinking of going through. Though your eyes were stuck on the screen, clicking through different documents as you continued your explanation, Carmen's eyes were glued to your face.

To him, this all felt like some weird dream that he was having. His former high school sweetheart, sitting in his restaurant, talking all kinds of smart talk that he could barely understand, practically pressed against him. Although he didn't move over to your chair with the intent to press against you, he definitely noticed the proximity that you two shared.

Life had been a whirlwind these past weeks, but he felt that when he was near you that a lot of those anxieties he often has screaming in his head quieted down a little. He tried to chalk it up to the confidence that he had in your skills, but even though you are incredibly talented in your work, he knew that it was something more than that.

Something that he had to swallow down.

"Carmy, you motherfucker, are you even listening to me?" You call out, turning more in your chair and fixing him with an annoyed glare. Carmen swallows before nodding his head. "Ye-yeah, you have a plan to get that retail food license and alcohol seller's license at once right?"

You hum, giving him a once over again before turning in your seat. "Exactly. I think that my buddy Stephen can help us with that fire suppression test, he knows a thing or two--"

Carmen's eyes trace down your eyes, nose, and lips, noting the signature bite marks you left on your bottom one. He runs a tongue across his own before carding a hand through his hair to collect himself.

He was so fucked.

taglist: @grippleback-galaxy @chatitajens @rooster-bradshaws @hrrysweetcherry @whoreforbucky @notsochillnerd @jackierose902109 @how2besalty @rosewine-5 @honeybug-victoria @beansap @sincerelyrab @xxconfettiitsaparade @softsy @imafatassmess @bibliophilewednesday @chanluuvr

if you would like to be added to/removed from the taglist, just tell me below! thank you so much for reading!

*if ur @ is striked thru, tumblrs being a pain and not letting tag, imma keep trying tho!!

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto fanfic #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto x you #carmy berzatto x reader #the bear x reader #the bear season 2 #jeremy allen white x reader #jeremy allen white #carmen berzatto x you #the bear fanfic

[aethon-recs]

Themed Rec List | Tomarrymort Recs by Horcrux ⚡👑🏆🔒💍

I wanted to put together a rec list of Harry/Tom fics with a core focus on horcruxes outside of Diary Tom (the most popular horcrux) and Voldemort himself. Please enjoy these 22 fics that feature one of Tom's horcruxes and their special relationship with Harry.

There’s a ton of interesting variation that can be explored within a Harry and horcrux Tom ship — from where the horcruxes are located and when Harry can conceivably meet them in canon (for example, the Cup horcrux is harder to access than the others); to what age they were made by Voldemort and how that would shape their personalities and interactions with Harry; to the different magical properties that they might embody, depending on the vessel that was chosen.

Finally, it looks like Scarcrux and Locket are the most popular choices (after Diary Tom), and we absolutely need more Cup horcrux fics!

*

⚡ Scarcrux

Amensalism by @cindle-writes (E, 6k, complete)

Scarcrux becomes sentient after the encounter in the Ministry in Harry's 5th year and takes Harry for an adventure.

Bolide by @vdoshu (T, 3k, complete)

On October 31, 1981, a tiny piece of soul attaches himself to Harry Potter in order to survive. This is his story.

Creatures of the Dark we are by @hikarimeroperiddle (M, 28k, complete)

Banished to his cupboard at age 4, Harry learns to listen only to the Voice in his head. Its teachings warp all Harry could have become until no more than dark magic and devotion remains. Visions of a wraith with red eyes complicate matters, especially when Harry and the Voice follow it to Hogwarts so Master can get his hands on the Philosopher’s stone.

Eulogy by @meles-merrivale (E, 6k, complete)

You run through the things you have to do for the day. It is, admittedly, a very short list. Wake up. Be clean. Be ready. An empty life, some might call it. You don’t. It is the life He has given you, and so it is what you deserve.

last rites by @cindle-writes (E, 5k, complete)

Harry has an hour before he walks to his death in the Forbidden Forest. The horcrux in Harry’s scar decides to take matters into its own hands.

Look at me. by @crowcrowcrowthing (M, 1k, complete)

A dark night of the soul.

Pitch Black by @kagariasuha (E, 2k, complete)

The proximity of Horcruxes can influence anyone - especially Harry.

sandpaper kisses, paper cut bliss by @xodahafez (E, 27k, WIP)

Harry Potter survives the Killing Curse, but so does the horcrux within him. And this horcrux has been dangerously infatuated with Harry for seventeen years.

saw you in a dream by @duplicitywrites (E, 2k, complete)

Harry has had this dream before.

*

👑 Diadem

A peculiar way of fitting together by @being-luminous (T, 2k, complete)

“Aren’t you going to ask me why I’m wearing a diadem?”

Dance Me On and On by @duplicitywrites (E, 19k, complete)

In his first year at Hogwarts, Harry overhears Quirrell interrogating Binns about an artifact from over a thousand years ago. Five years later, Harry uncovers Rowena Ravenclaw's Diadem in the Room of Requirement and finds himself pulled into a kingdom in the throes of a mysterious masquerade ball.

In Just a Moment, You’ll Be Mine by @dividawrites (E, 34k, WIP)

Tom has been stuck inside the Ravenclaw's Diadem for decades, alone, with nothing but his slowly fading memories. One day he feels a pull towards someone and gets interested. And then he gets obsessed.

Death is not an Escape by @whitepinkdandelions (T, 2k, complete)

The Lost Diadem of Ravenclaw is full of endless wisdom, so it only makes sense that it gets its hooks into Harry much faster than the rest of them.

*

🏆 Cup

Thirst by @obsidianpen (E, 27k, complete)

Things go awry when the trio beaks into Gringotts. Harry finds himself trapped, locked in the Lestrange vault, wandless and alone... With a horcrux.

*

🔒 Locket

Arson by @rudehellion (M, 8k, complete)

The hunt for Voldemort's Horcruxes is going poorly. In need of some space to think, Harry offers to take the first watch over camp and slips out into the snowy night. Unable to shake his dark thoughts, Harry finds himself drifting and he begins to dream. What he sees changes everything.

knock it off (part 1) / crave gets slaked (part 2) by @theonceandfuturequeenoftarts (E, 6k, complete)

At some point during Harry's time with the Dursleys, pain got crossed with affection. A kick from Dudley or having his arm yanked by Uncle Vernon at least means they’re acknowledging his existence. It’s not love, but it’s something. Too bad for Harry he carries that through to his less dysfunctional relationships.

The Cost by Blood_Stained_Fingers (M, 8k, complete)

The cost of making a horcrux was steep and when Voldemort manages to kill Harry, destroying the horcrux within, Harry finds out the exact price of losing a piece of your soul. It made a cruel joke that if Voldemort loved his horcruxes, Harry should love them too.

The Dead of Night by @cybrid (E, 6k, complete)

An empty house. A glint of gold. A dream. Or: running away from Privet Drive goes terribly for Harry.

The Ties That Bind by @mosiva (E, 8k, complete)

Harry finds the locket at Grimmauld Place, but it has a curse laid on it. When Harry triggers it, he finds himself trapped with the locket version of Tom Riddle, both of them stuck within the enchantment until they can find the way out. Or so Harry thinks.

Whole by Emriel (E, 20k, complete)

The horcrux hunt goes wrong and Harry fails to destroy the locket horcrux. Tom Riddle hands him over to the Dark Lord as a present for they know he holds part of their soul. In their care, Harry learns that feelings, no matter how toxic, are hard to get rid off.

*

💍 Ring

Personal Assistant by @phantomato (E, 10k, complete)

“And that’s it? I call ‘Tom’ and you show up?” “Yes,” Tom answers.

shelter from the storm by @cindle-writes, @duplicitywrites (E, 7k, complete)

After being left behind by the Dursleys, Harry stumbles upon an empty shack in the middle of nowhere, where he finds a mysterious ring underneath the loose floorboards.

*

#tomarrymort #tomarry #aethon recs #tomarry recs #tomarrymort recs #hp fic recs #ao3 recs #fanfic recs #harry/horcrux #horcrux tom #scarcrux #diadem horcrux #cup horcrux #locket horcrux #ring horcrux

[flowerflowerflo]

girl's guide to academic success: part 1 ⊹˚. ♡

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ organisation

first off, have something to organise ur academic life with! i personally use notion (which i'll add later) but u can use anything as long as it's cute, convenient, unique and accessible to you, your life and your schedule specifically. especially as a visual learner, i like to have somewhere i can dump literally everything regarding a singular area in my life, so i do this for almost everything along with school and i highly recommend this <3

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ recognition of talents & improvements

analyse your strengths and weaknesses. think back on tests, exams, marks, and analyse which ones you got highest and lowest on. dont beat urself up for it, obviously; it's just to check which subjects you're doing good in and which ones have room for improvement. for example i love science but im not the best at it sometimes and we had an assessment recently and i didn't get as high as i'd like so i wrote down a little list on a piece of paper in my pencilcase for the topics i got the least in for me to study on my own to practise later.

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ laying out goals

set down specific goals; i like to do this week by week accustomed to my schedule that week in my school notion page along with images and vision boards based on the term/semester, but you can do it for the week, the month, the year, anything as long as its helpful to you

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ productive planning

plan accordingly based on ur time energy. when creating any to do list or productivity plan dont pile a ridiculous amount onto it that just leaves you stressed and overwhelmed because that defeats the entire point; this works the same for academic plans and goals and lists etc.

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ extra credit

put extra work in to the subjects you know will help you in the future. for example, for my personal aspirations i need to excel in english, history and textiles so i always try my absolute hardest and put my all into those lessons and do extra studying for them in my free time where i can. school is to prepare you for the future so take advantage of that

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ asking questions

please don't be shy to ask questions! that's what teachers are there for and you won't have them forever so take advantage of it while you can! you can even do it in that little window of time just after class if ur too nervous to ask in class. for example, on my last english exam i went to my teacher after class and asked about what i needed to improve on to get the marks i missed next time, and he told me i added too much detail and some other things so i wrote it down and am keeping a note of it to remind me to improve on that next time! (i got top of my class though so i didnt mind. still kind of pissed i added too much detail though)

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ participation

participate! ok im saying this as someone who still struggles with social anxiety a fair amount but if u wanna get higher marks and get on good terms w ur teacher i 100% recommend this. i don't do this in every class but i do it where i can and when i'm confident in my answer, and it's really intimidating at first but what i did is i did it first in the classes i felt most comfortable on and continued from there. it gets easier every time i swear, and nobody's judging you; they'll forget about it after five minutes. plus, what would they be judging you for? being smarter than them?

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ prioritising ur health

this is mentioned a lot in these types of posts but if you're tired or burnt out or overworked or just feel like you need to take a break then do. do the best you can and compromise like i said earlier if you need to, just make sure u are prioritising yourself over anything. <3

inspo ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

my notion ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

i also really recommend this layout by @honeytonedhottie, she's amazing go follow her

lots of love! <3

#girlblogging #it girl-ism ୨𖹭୧ #academic 🎀 #wonyoungism #pink pilates princess #it girl #dream girl #dream life #thewizardliz #loassumption #loa tumblr #loa blog #law of assumption #studyblr #study blog #pink academia #light academia #student #study tips #study motivation #study aesthetic #girly thoughts #that girl #it girl energy

[fairyhaos]

How To Fucking Write: a guide by fairyhaos

[masterlist]

this post details:

STARTING A STORY

PACING A STORY

hi gays and gals and welcome to "how to fucking write", a post (series) where i talk about how i brainstorm for writing, plan for writing, write the writing, and everything in between. nothing too serious here lmao, but i'm definitely planning on making at least a couple posts on this bc a) it's fun and b) i wanna help! so if you find this useful then pls lmk by reblogging + drop an ask if there are any specific things u want me to give my two cents on ^^

okok and now without further ado,,, let's look at the topics i'll talk about in today's post!

#1 - HOW TO START A STORY.

.. bullet point one : have an idea

the first big thing is that you need an idea. doesn't matter if you're a pantser and don't plan out your writing before you start. that's totally fine! but before you begin, you need at least an idea: maybe it's a vibe, a character personality, a specific journey you want the characters to go on. maybe it's a piece of dialogue. maybe it's the ending- the point you want to end up at after however many thousand words.

whatever it is, it's best to have some inspiration, some idea of what you wanna do. no point in writing if you don't know what you're writing, you know?

(of course, that brings up the issue of Having An Idea in the first place, but finding inspiration to write is a whole other can of worms we can open in another post.)

.. bullet point two : practice

okay, so now you have an idea. how do you put that idea to paper? how should you actually start your story?

it’s all to do with practice.

it’s the most annoying piece of advice in the world, but it helps so much. you just have to write lots and lots and lots, to find the way that works for you. whether you wanna start your stories with pretty scene descriptions, with dialogue, with dramatic one-liners. finding your voice, your style, what’s most comfortable for you, is really really important. and takes practice.

an example, though: for me, i prefer either a line of dialogue, or one-liners that a) help immediately establish a character’s personality or can b) introduce an interesting setting.

[chan + swingset] — one-liner example

[hoshi + silly] — dialogue example 

but of course, everyone’s style is different. so i’d recommend playing around! find a list of one-word prompts and just write a few that inspire you, writing the beginnings. it’s important, also, that you’re having fun, because if you’re already struggling with starting to write, it’ll be even harder if you’re doing it while feeling stressed.

.. bullet point three (mostly just for longer fics)

maybe you don’t find a style, in the end. maybe you’re comfortable with all of them, which is totally fine! but then you look at your writing, and you think, “oh… this isn’t as good as i thought.” 

and it makes you want to give up. what do you do, then? how do you carry on with your start?

just put words to paper. it doesn’t matter if the words are terrible, if you’re making up shit and using placeholders for description words or whatever. just carry on, get to a place you’re happy with, like the end of a scene, or maybe a dialogue exchange you really like.

because now, guess what? you’ve successfully created a first draft.

making first drafts is actually so important. seriously. first drafts allow you to fuck up, allow you to write terribly. they help you fumble and trip your way to the finish line (or at least a rest point) so that you can go back and do better.

even if your first draft is terrible, it’s helped you make your way to a point you’re happy with. now you have a vague idea of what you want, even if the description or characterisation or something is way off. because now, you can edit it, or even scrap it and use only a few words from that draft in your next one. or maybe, if you look back at it, maybe it’s even decent enough for you to use. 

whatever it is, when you first start writing that story, think of it as ‘The Worst Draft’. because it probably won’t be as good as you want it, and it’s okay. just write, with no fears of it being bad, because that’s literally fine. it’s not set in stone. the backspace button exists. after your first draft is made, make another. and another, and another, because i promise, after that first draft, it only gets better from there.

#2 - PACING A STORY.

.. bullet point one : adding things

pacing is always really tricky. however, i do think that slowing a story down is easier than speeding it up, so here we go,,,,

finding out the exact way to slow down a story really depends on what type of story you're writing, but there are a few all-round things you can do which can help pretty much any setting.

if it's a scene with loads of dialogue, and things feel like they're jumping to the end topic too quickly, add descriptions. your readers are blind, writers, and they depend on you to be able to see what's going on. are your characters having a conversation on the street? take a break to describe what they see. are they in a coffee shop? maybe someone comes in with a huge noise, or their coffee arrives at their table. are they hanging in midair with nothing around them? well, describe the actions of the character they're talking to, then.

example: (from my seoksoo fic bc it's the only long fic i'm working on rn)

by adding character descriptions, movement, thoughts, instantly everything seems to have slowed down. it thickens time, allowing you to move at a more leisurely pace.

if it's a scene full of action, you can do the exact same thing. maybe there's a high-tension moment and something significant happens. slow down time there, describe something small in great detail. talk about the thoughts they're having.

and even if it's just an ordinary scene, describing is important. the setting, the characters' actions, their thoughts. it's okay to write too much. then you can delete things which make things feel like they're moving too slowly.

.. bullet point two : delete

not gonna lie, finding out how to speed up the pacing of the story can often be really specifically tailored to the setting of the story.

with stories that have loads of action (spy, apocalypse, etc) i'd recommend adjusting sentence length. you'll want short, punchy sentences, without loads of commas and clauses, but you'll also want to experiment with having those short sentences gradually get longer. it helps with tension and suspense.

it has to be short. running fast. something to elevate fear. quick, but also desperate, before they then spill over each other, picking up pace, all of the thoughts blurring together and going faster, and faster, and faster, and then-

then the penny drops.

people use the metaphor of music a lot, and it really does work that way. it needs to ascend to its climax: gently, cautiously, before sprinting upwards and only describing things like the barest emotions (the fear they feel, the panic, anger, anything) before everything reaches its peak and comes crashing down in a flurry of action descriptions.

but of course, the easiest way to speed up something is to delete. delete swathes of setting description. delete unnecessary dialogue. delete an entire scene and rewrite with only the things you remember (which can help make sure you only have the essentials in your scene, btw. very helpful).

it might take a bit of adjusting, rewriting, moving things around, but ultimately, quickening the pace of the story depends on the way in which you write things. be concise, be dramatic, and don't dawdle.

... and that's it ! if anyone has anything else they want advice on (how to structure, how to write dialogue, how to plan etc) then just shoot me an ask, because i'd love to help however i can :)

tagging: @selenicives who asked for this in the first place hehe ^^

#a guide by fairyhaos #ngl ive always wanted to try my hand as an advice giver soooo this is fun! #i really wanna help guys. like fr #fanfic #svt fanfic #svt fic #seventeen #txt #fanfiction #writing #creative writing #writers of tumblr #writing prompt #svt x reader #txt x reader #kpop writing #ao3 #ao3 writer #ao3 fic

[dognonsense]

Question...how do you make your patches? They seem so fuckin cool. I'm working on a vest and a jacket atm, and I'd like for them to be done by the time a pride fest rolls around next month.

Main technique I use for making patches nowadays is linocut. Its best suited for mass production of patches.

Make sure to remember your carving the mirror image so you have to flip all the text. Using tracing paper to flip the design is a good trick, as well as leaving graphite marks on side, then pressing that to the lino to leave the marks in the same spot. Another trick with pencil is to view what ur carving in negative space quickly, put a paper over your design and shade over it with pencil, darker marks will be where you haven't carved yet.

I use speedball fabric ink, it takes 1 week to set then will be fine to be washed. I have magenta, violet, turqouise, and white. They have a limited range of fabric colors at the store. I have seen gold and silver fabric paint for sale and I will investigate it one day.

I use a speedball roller, i find the smaller one to be better than the big one as I can be more precise and waste less ink.

I got a fancy handle for $40 but the screws fallen out so its broken now so just get some heavy books. I used to use a mug. Whats important is pushing your whole body weight into it.

I got a speedball carving tool with different heads I can swap out so I can cut into the lino at different deepness and widths. The heads are stored inside the tool since its hollow and has a screwable removable bottom. I use linocut or dollar store erasers for my carvings. Make sure to wash the ink off your linocuts after your done using them.

A thing to increase the lifespan of you're linocuts is to use wood glue, some cork or wood pieces, and glued the lino stamps onto them. I dont do that yet so my stamps fall appart from overuse sometime and because I cut way too deep into the lino since I hate chatter.

Chatter is the term for in linocutting when theres little messy lines and stuff. It makes the art more recognisably to be linocut. My work is very clean with no chatter which is why people don't notice its linocut usually. This is a stylistic choice, with diy styles having a lot of chatter can look really cool so experiment with leaving bits of extra uncarvered lino sticking out in ur stamp. I need to experiment and buy some more lino.

You can also use multiple linocut stamps together to make a patch. Some patches ive made have like 8 different stamps. Ive made a dog nonsense patch where each letter was their own eraser stamp. You can also use different colors between the different lino stamps on the same patch to add more color. An effect I like to do is first stamp it in color, then the next day I stamp it in white over the same spot but shifted to the right and down slightly. It makes the text have a cool border 3D effect I love doing.

If making a more detailed picture with colors, i reccomend hand painting patches. I use white fabric paint mixed with acrylics for color to get all the shades i need. Acrylic paint mixed with fabric softener works too.

If doing words and you dont want a unique font reccomend using letter stamps. If you want a unique font for that i recommend hand paint for individual or linocut for mass produce.

The positive of letter stamps is the font is neat and can be done quickly. I know from lending them to my roommate that they are very helpful if you have dyslexia and have trouble getting letters right.

A visual effect of the letter stamps is that have a nice boxy edge effect, its an imperfection that adds a personally touch to it. I have both lower and upper case stamps that I got from michaels. You can use a hair band or elastic to hold a bunch of letter stamps together to make a word stamp.

You can use other stamps than letters that you find at craft stores for example my racoon print is a craftstore stamp.

You can also find big plastic letter stencils at the dollar store that you can use to do lettering by filling in gaps with a sponge or or paintbrush. They make special paintbrushes just for using stencils.

You can also get plastic stencils in the shapes of things, i got some for children and use a horse stencil for my horse smoking weed patch. Easier than drawing a horse myself.

Another technique I use for more unique clean patches is gel plating. I haven't tried printing laserprint images with it as ive seen online a lot but I will try one day. What i personally do is use it to make imprints with chains and physical objects.

Another thing i use with gelplates are any stamps or linocuts that dont have words, or words ones that i fucked up with and forgot to mirror when carving. It flips mirror image twice with the gel plate so it goes back to being right again on the patch.

Another patch making technique is using foamboard cut into shapes glued onto cardboard. This is good for a quick test of a design and is very cheap to make. It will not hold under water so is more difficult to clean.

#punk #diy #patches #diy patches #patch pants #diy punk #crust punk #crust pants #battle vest #punk fashion #punk diy #punk patch #queer art #linocut patch #gel plate #linocut #stencil #my patches #patch tips #how to make patches #patch 101

[judasofsuburbia]

So you’re looking to write some smut but feeling stuck, uninspired, or unsure where to start. Smut writing comes easily to some and not others, and that’s okay! Here are some tips I’ve gathered over my few years of writing smut to take with a grain of salt! It's my opinion; you can always do what you want!! <333

It’s fiction writing at the end of the day. So, it’s okay if you haven’t experienced what you’re writing about or maybe you have experienced it but you find it difficult to put it into words. I’ve never fought a creature from the Upside Down but I’ve written about it because that’s what fiction writing IS!! You’re creating a story from your own experiences/thoughts/emotions and applying it to a made-up scenario. So don’t feel discouraged by your own personal journey, anyone can write smut!!

When in doubt, plan it out. When I’m really stuck, just simply grabbing a piece of notebook paper and writing out each event in a sequence, even in the most basic terms, can make things so much easier. For example: making out, blow job, hand job, prep, fuck. Write down positions (sometimes limbs can get lost in the sauce and it is so hard to figure out how they’re actually doing it lmao). Write down settings. Write down if one person is leading it more than the other or if they switch off. Write down desperation levels (personally, I think it’s more fun when desperation is very high but casual fluffy smut is fun too!!) This will help the writing process feel a lot less daunting. 

More specifically, remember that prep is important. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been taken out of a smutty fic because they get to the main act (penetration, typically) way before someone should be ready to. Fingers, mouths, and lube (actual lube or something that can be safely used as lube. Blood is not lube. Blood is not lube as it is a liquid that dries quickly and offers no moisture so it will not help you penetrate anything, as hot as it would be.) Foreplay and prep can be a really good tool to establish a sexy dynamic between your characters and get the reader ramped up to read through to the end! 

If you feel like the action part is getting too technical, this is where you can add in thoughts and emotions that will give your smut some personality. It can feel very silly to write, for instance, your character A thinking “Wow character B is so hot” but it’s a thought that would probably cross their mind!! Write out any nerves the characters are feeling or maybe even the confidence they’re feeling. Write out what sensations they pay attention to. Write out what they like and dislike. Write out what actions cause an immediate response from them (moaning, bucking their hips, groaning, eyes rolling, etc.) Write out how your character would verbally respond (Are they dirty talking? Are they praising? Are they degrading? Are they stuttering through their words? Are they incoherent because the sex is so good?) It’s important that your characters still feel natural and not like sex robots. Unless your story is about sex robots, then go off!!!

The thesaurus is your fucking FRIEND!! Smut can feel ridiculously repetitive, especially if you’ve written it before. I say every time I write a blow job scene that “god blow job scene is blow job scene is blow job scene” because that’s how it FEELS! Use your resources like the thesaurus or there are a million posts with other ways to say “said”, ways to describe a kiss, etc. Just be careful that you don’t fall into using words that seem unnatural to the flow of the story (for example, a lot of synonyms for cock are simply…unsettling and can take your reader out of the story). Find ways to creatively tell the same action again and again which leads to tip #5…

Go read some smut. The tag “porn what plot” is so unbelievably helpful. Even if the writing isn’t exactly your style or your preference, sometimes reading someone else’s descriptions of sexual acts can be helpful if you’re lost! I have a few faves that I go back to read to get inspiration and I have notes about what it is specifically I enjoyed about their work. While you’re at it, if a fic inspires you and you feel comfortable doing so, leave a comment! It’ll make the author’s day, I promise. 

TAKE THIS TIP WITH AN ABSOLUTE GRAIN OF SALT but…go watch it. Or my personal preference, go listen to it. If I’m really lost, I’ll seek out audio porn that follows the same ~vibe~ of whatever I’m writing. There are many websites for this but Soundgasm is my go-to (it’s a free upload site so there are THOUSANDS of sounds and varying quality levels so it might take a second to find what you’re looking for)! Even a sexy playlist on Spotify can put you into a good headspace for writing. Just make sure you’re being safe and looking out for your own comfort levels. Never put yourself in a situation to experience something triggering for the sake of writing a good story. 

All of this to say, it is so different to write smut than it is to write a regular plot. It can feel incredibly daunting to go about it and find the perfect balance between technical actions and thoughts/feelings/dialogue and then make it all cohesive in the end. It’s hard to do but it’s not impossible! 

#i hope this is helpful in some way!! #writing #writing tips #fanfiction writing #smut #smut writing #fanfiction #archive of our own #writing tools #writing reference #references #reference

[cauliplea]

DR. RATIO X GN! READER!

────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆─── FLUFF ──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆────

"Unanswered" Love Letter...

Tags: Fluff, Crack, GN!reader

Summary: Giving a love letter to the stoic doctor, hoping for a relationship or a date, instead getting a grammatical correction. Oh, and you are colleagues because student-teacher is weird. 

☆──────────────────────☆

You felt like a high school girl, standing in front of the class Ratio taught with a love letter in your hand and a dusting of pink on your cheeks. God, you were a grown adult for fucks sake; get a hold of yourself!

 

Taking deep breaths to calm the giddy feeling inside you before you pushed the door open and peeked in to see if Ratio was there.

 

He was, in fact, there, sitting at his desk and looking at papers on his desk. The room was quiet, aside from the occasional sound of the clock ticking. It was around six p.m., and every student had already left, leaving you two alone in a room dimly lit by the sunset's light peeking through the window.

 

Hearing the door open, the man turned his head towards the sound, raising his brow when he saw you enter with a flushed face. You and him weren't really strangers; he just saw you as a "nuisance" that occasionally followed him around and made him feel a weird sensation in his heart. Of course, the man wasn't a stranger to the idea of love, but he refused any romantic thoughts or comments about it.

 

Anyway, it was still weird seeing you here at this hour of the day. He let go of the pen in his hand and turned his chair to face you with his arms resting on the armrests and his cheek on the palm of his hand.

 

"Fancy seeing... you, here. What is it that you want?" He spoke sharply, his demeanor almost bored.

 

You opened your mouth, closing it when you couldn't find the courage to speak, making Ratio agitated as he got up from his chair and walked towards you with his hands clasped behind his back.

 

Stopping in front of you, he leaned down and tilted his head. His eyes bore into yours, and his voice was laced with annoyance when he spoke.

 

"Is there something wrong or not? Do not waste my time."

 

You bit your lip before just taking out the letter from behind your back and extending it towards Ratio. With the words you wanted to say stuck in your throat, you looked away in embarrassment.

 

"What... is this?" Ratio dubiously leaned down to look at the letter, pushing his glasses up as he glanced between your face and the letter. After a bit of contemplation, he finally took the letter out of your hand.

 

Not wanting to see his reaction, you ran out of the classroom, causing him to snap his head back towards you and think about calling after you, but he brushed it off, directing his attention back to the letter instead.

 

When he noticed you disappear out of sight, he went back to his chair, sitting with his legs crossed as he opened up the letter.

 

His eyes drew over the letter once, then twice, then three times. His face heated up more every time he found himself re-reading the words written. He got so flustered to the point that he had to put down the letter and hide his face in his hands to take a breather and process everything.

 

His heart was beating so fast that he could hear it in his ears, his thoughts running wild in his head as he groaned and leaned back in his chair before grabbing the letter again. 

 

He glared at the piece of paper with an embarrassed frown before he pushed his glasses up again and grabbed a red pen. 

 

He was going to check and correct every grammar mistake in the letter.

 

After an hour of correcting everything and writing notes next to some sentences (for example, crossing over every "I love you" and putting two red question marks next to them.) He wrote down '5/10, see me after class.' at the end of the letter in big, bold letters. He hoped it would make it obvious that he wasn't rejecting the confession.

It was the only way he could think of to respond; there was no way he could write a sappy, affectionate letter in response! 

☆──────────────────────☆

Cauliplea On Ao3.

Authors Note: This was supposed to be for valentines day but I am a tad bit late. might make a part two depending on the traction.

betas note: YAOIIIII

#honkai star rail x you #hsr x you #hsr x reader #hsr dr ratio #dr ratio #dr. ratio x reader #dr. ratio x you #hsr fluff #fluff

[hobie-enthusiast]

LITTLE CREATIONS !

— ‘Omgg if you're down and it spikes your creativity!! Could I request a Hobie little writing with a gn!reader who likes doodling on stick papers and sticking them on Hobie's guitar when he isn't looking? And one day he catches them red-handed? Just plain fluff tbh <33’

— hobie brown x gn!reader

— lots of fluff, just cute relationship stuff, some cutesy hc’s at the end too

— hobie knew where the mysterious stickers were coming from, but he just never wanted to stop it

— this is adorable oh my god. im such a sucker for cutesy relationship stuff. the creativity just flowed for this so well (directly reuploaded from my old acc @/hobieenthusiast)

Hobie was very attentive to the things he loved.

He was possessive over those things. You were a perfect example. Now that he has you, he never wants to let you go. His friends are another example. The Spider-people he’s grown to enjoy were something he would never trade.

His guitar was yet one more example of Hobie’s possessive nature.

He never truly allowed anyone to touch it. His instrument was what he used to make art. He’s had it since he was a young teen, the paint was chipping and many stickers he’s created or been gifted littered the body.

So he obviously noticed when new stickers started showing up.

The first creation he noticed was a small night sky, with star constellations being the focus. The constellations were Pleiades and Taurus, thought Hobie couldn’t name them off the top of his head. It was charmingly drawn, and stuck right underneath the strings.

He had his suspicions of you drawing it the first time he noticed it. He knew you liked to doodle in a small notebook, so you were his first thought.

The next one after that was a spiked butterfly. The butterfly had some out-of-the-lines green colouring, with spikes coming from the wings. It was a really nice drawing that Hobie appreciated, and was yet another sign it was drawn by you.

After that, he found some stickers of his favourite band logos, little star sketches, his logo as spider-man, and so many more. All those building up and covering the original colour and decal of the guitar.

Hobie didn’t mind the drawings. Actually, it was quite the opposite. He looked forward to seeing what you were gonna create next.

Whenever he’s over at your place, he’ll purposefully leave the room for a little to give you time to stick them. He notices your silly grin when he comes back, at his cluelessness when he takes his guitar home.

Little did you know.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Hobie sat on your bed, strumming mindlessly on his guitar. You sat over at your desk as you sketched and doodled on some stick paper. Music played in the background softly, a mixture of your faves and Hobie’s as well.

Hobie sighs, placing his guitar at the end of the bed. “‘m gonna go grab a drink.”

You nod as he passes, ruffling your hair as he leaves the room. You glance over to see if he left before smiling softly, standing and walking to his guitar.

Carefully, you peel your doodles from the sticker sheet, finding open spaces to place them on. These new ones were of his cross logo on the back of his Spider-man jacket, as well as a small spider hanging on a web. They were coloured with blue and red splotches in the background.

You put the first one on, admiring how it fits so well with the others. Like a puzzle piece. You reach for the second one, ready to stick it on, when..

“Well well. Seems ’ve caught the culprit.”

You turn around, sticker still in hand as you laugh nervously. “And here I thought I had more time.”

Hobie gives his signature smirk as he walks to you, taking the sticker from your hand. He observes it, noticing the beautiful red and blue splotches behind the spider.

“Sorry if you haven’t liked ‘em.” You say as he stands there, still observing. “You never really said much about them so I assumed you didn’t mind and that it was okay but if it’s not I can always stop and-”

Hobie chuckles, stopping you. “[Name]. Never said I didn’t like ‘em, aye? Actually quite like ‘em.”

“Really?”

Hobie nods as he places the sticker on his guitar, smoothing it out. It blends well with the others, bringing yet more charm to the cluster and disorganized mess. Something Hobie absolutely enjoys.

“Why don’t you tell me about ‘em?” He asks while sitting back on the bed. “Been curious ‘bout the constellations for ‘while now.”

“The constellations..” You start, tracing the design on his guitar. “They were in the air March 18th and April 24th. Pleiades and Taurus.”

Hobie’s eyes widen for a moment. “Well now that’s..”

“Our first date.” You finish with a soft smile. You glance up at him. “And the day we became official. Or the day you decided you like some labels.”

Hobie rolls his eyes. “An’ that’s a secret ‘tween you and me.”

You continue to tell him about the different doodles you drew. You explained the thought process behind them all, going into the colour schemes and why you chose those specifically.

The entire time Hobie couldn’t take his eyes off of you. He thought you were mesmerizing, the way you talked about something so passionately.

“…and with the letters I tried capturing how rebellious it’s supposed to look, kind of like your jacket.” You finish, pointing the last one out.

Hobie nods, hand taking yours. “They’re all well done. Ya gotta keep makin’ ‘em.”

You smile and nod excitedly, already thinking of the next designs you have for Hobie’s guitar.

Maybe Hobie’s earlier rule about never letting anyone touch his guitar had its exceptions. After all, rules were always meant to be broken in his eyes.

— after he confirms that it’s you putting the stickers on, he insists on watching you draw them

— you’ll sit on his lap and aimlessly doodle in your stick paper notebook as you lean back against his chest

— you ask for his opinion, but he always assures you they look perfect

— “that one ‘s well drawn, sweetheart”

— “you’re so talented, darlin’”

— “can’t wait for everyone to see ‘em”

— he’s practically your biggest supporter

— also don’t be surprised if one day he gets one of the doodles you stuck on his guitar tattooed on him

— what can he say? he’s obsessed with anything you give him

— he will also let everyone know who the amazing artist behind his stickers are

— “yeah? my amazin’ partner drew ‘em. they’re one of a kind”

— hobie will always anticipate new stickers from you, even after his guitar is filled

— please just start stacking them after that

— hobie’s completely obsessed with you and any reminder of you on his weapon of art is something to die for in his eyes

#NEW ARTICLE || OUT NOW !! #hobie brown x reader #hobie spiderverse #hobie x reader #hobie brown #spider man: across the spider verse #atsv #atsv x reader #atsv hobie

[sporesgalaxy]

what does it mean to "put your heart and soul" into something? i see a lot of people talking about it and what has and doesn't have "soul" but i dont know how to achieve it. i dont feel my art is any different from those pieces they call souless, even if i do what i want

Hm. It's a difficult thing to define or quantify, and it's even harder to try and find it in one's own art.

I think when people say someone "put their whole heart and soul into something," they mean that it seems like the effort went into the project from a place of love, rather than obligation or more jaded kinds of ambition.

When an artist is making art from a place of love, I think it shows through in the ways they don't hold back, and that's what people notice.

(Camp is a really good example of this, if you're familiar with the concept. Campy things are totally shamelessly committed to some shtick that, on paper, can sound very trite. But by virtue of the campy thing's uncynical commitment to the bit, it becomes something special and outstanding in that context. Where less campy works may hold back or make fun of themselves, a campy work jumps in headfirst an asks "Well, why not? Doesn't this look fun?")

As an artist, I don't tend to notice the ways I don't hold back unless they're pointed out to me. I think it's just one of those things that's hard to see in your own work without a lot of hindsight to separate you from the process of creating it in the first place.

So...I guess my best advice is to not hold back when your love for something compels you to make art!!! Skill really doesn't matter as much as the love you put into something. It sounds really corny but I truly believe that.

When I was just starting out as an artist, I remember being really amazed and confused that artists I considered more skilled than me showed interest in my stuff. But looking back all these years later, I can see how my love showed through even when my skills weren't where I wanted them to be.

Messy, scratchy line art and wobbly shapes didn't hold me back from drawing characters I was excited about, because I loved them and wanted to share that love, however imperfect.

I think you just have to trust that people can tell when art comes from a place of love, even if you can't see it in your own work yet.

#asks #art tips

[fossilprep]

There's a lot this article touches on, but the parts about fossil preparation are kind of in poor taste. I'll go over some of it under the cut.

There's a reason we usually don't publish on things we prepare. They say it right here - we can literally, whether purposeful or accidental, modify fossils as we see fit. We could imitate pathologies or create marks with air scribes or picks that are misinterpreted as pathologies, remove or obscure parts of a fossil that may be diagnostic, etc. (Of course we don't endear to do these things, they're just possible).

Whether through inexperience or poor dexterity some budding preparators can cause damage that only someone with a trained eye could notice. Preparators aren't always required to be trained in the sciences or have thorough anatomical knowledge, and thus can reconstruct things wrong, without scientific guidance. Like filling holes where there's supposed to be… holes! Like a fenestrum or foramen, for example. This is why we have references, but more importantly, we do the minimum unless instructed to do otherwise by a supervisor or exhibits team - one of a few scenarios where a curator can rightfully step in.

This is why we're trained to preserve almost any bone we see. Often there are small isolated bone chunks hovering in matrix that are thrown in a box with the specimen. A lot of pieces can't be reattached because they're too weathered or of indeterminate origins (“IBF’s” for short).

"Creating" something "artistic" is another way of implying we're making it up as we go.

If someone hands me a fossil and tells me to look at this "multimedia sculpture", I'd be confused. It's a fossil, not an art project.

Academic fossil preparation is fundamentally a scientific endeavor that also requires artistic abilities, but not creativity. We use various methods that are tried and true (and sometimes experiment with new ones) to expose an element from matrix.

The act of preparing a fossil is not providing new data. The fossil itself is the data. We just make it available. That being said, if we provide measurements, take and analyze samples of the matrix for various analyses, then that's providing valuable data. Would that warrant an authorship? Maybe.

This raises another question though. If anyone who worked on a fossil gets an authorship, then can authorship compound?

The person who found the fossil but didn't do anything with it afterwards - just dug it up and sent it to the lab, for example. Do they get to be an author? On our field crews we have up to 30 people over the whole season. 30 coauthors and 99% of them are not scientists.

The collections manager who just painted a number on it, catalogued it, and put it away?

How about the curator who allowed a researcher access to the collection who didn't collect any data but just answered some emails and opened the drawer for it to be studied?

The land owner who gave you permission to dig?

Finally, the preparator who just exposed it from the rock. They do more science inherently than the others, but if no parts of the scientific method were conducted and no data was produced (save for the fossil simply being brought back into the world), do they get an authorship?

tl;dr We don't need authorships for the act of preparing fossils unless we provide data and go through the scientific process (like what's usually required for any authorship). Many parts of the process is not science. Just acknowledge our work in your paper and we'll be more than happy.

#fossil preparator #fossil preparation #science #paleontology #palaeontology #paleoblr #palaeoblr #fossil prep #fossils #dinosaurs #fossil

[physalian]

What No One Tells You About Writing #5

Part 4

Part 3

Part 2

Shorter list this time, but longer points. I expect this one to be more divisive, but it is what it is, and this is what ‘no one tells you’ about writing, after all. This one’s all about feedback and how to take it, and give it.

1. Not everyone will like your book, no matter how good it is

I’ve said this before, granted, but sometimes you can have very arbitrary reasons for not liking an otherwise great story. For example: I refuse to watch Hamilton. Why? Because everyone I knew and their dog was trying to cram it down my throat when it came out and I still don’t really like musicals, and didn’t appreciate the bombardment of insisting I’ll like it simply because everyone else does. I’m sure it’s great! I’m just not watching it until I want to watch it.

It can be other reasons, too. I won’t read fanfic that’s written in first person, doesn’t matter how good it is. Someone might not watch a TV show because the primary cast is white or not-white. Someone might not watch a movie because an actor they despise is in it, even if the role is fantastic. Someone might not watch or read a story that’s too heavy on the romance, or not enough, or too explicit. I went looking for beta readers and came across one who wouldn’t touch a book where the romance came secondary in a sci-fi or fantasy novel. Kept on scrolling.

Someone can just think your side character is unfunny and doesn’t hear the same music as everyone else. Someone can just not like your writing style with either too much or not enough fluff, or too much personality in the main narrator. Or they have triggers that prevent them from enjoying it the way you intend.

How someone expresses that refusal is not your job to manage. You cannot force someone to like your work and pushing too hard will just make it worse. Some people just won’t like it, end of story.

2. Criticism takes a very long time to take well

Some people are just naturally better at taking constructive criticism, some have a thick skin, some just have a natural confidence that beats back whatever jabs the average reader or professional editor can give. If you’re like me, you might’ve physically struggled at first to actually read the feedback and insisted that your beta readers color-coded the positive from the negative.

It can be a very steep climb up the mountain until you reach a point where you know you’re good enough, and fully appreciate that it is actually “constructive” and anything that isn’t, isn’t worth your time.

The biggest hurdle I had to climb was this: A criticism of my work is not a criticism of me as a person.

Yes, my characters are built with pieces of my personality and worldview and dreams and ideals, but the people giving you feedback should be people who either already know you as a person and are just trying to help, or are people you pay to be unbiased and only focus on what’s on the page.

Some decisions, like a concerning moral of your story, is inadvertently a criticism of your own beliefs—like when I left feedback that anxiety can’t just be loved away and believing so is a flawed philosophy. I did that with intent to help, not because I thought the writer incompetent or that they wrote it in bad faith.

I’m sure it wasn’t a fun experience reading what I had to say, either. It’s not fun when I get told a character I love and lost sleep over getting right isn’t getting the same reception with my betas. But they’re all doing it (or at least they all should be doing it) from a place of just wanting to help, not to insult your writing ability. Even if your writing objectively sucks, you’re still doing a lot more just by putting words on paper than so many people who can’t bring themselves to even try.

As with all mediums subjects to critique, one need not be an author to still give valuable feedback. I’m not a screenwriter, but from an audience’s standpoint, I can tell you what I think works. Non-authors giving you pointers on the writing process? You can probably ignore that. Non-authors giving you pointers on how your character lands? Then, yeah, they might have an opinion worth considering.

3. Parsing out the “constructive” from the criticism isn’t easy

This goes for people giving it as well. Saying things like “this book sucks” is an obviously useless one. Saying “I didn’t like this story because it was confusing and uncompelling” is better. “I think this story was confusing and uncompelling because of X, and I have some suggestions here that I think can make it better.”

Now we’re talking.

Everyone’s writing style is different. Some writers like a lot of fluff and poetic prose to immerse you in the details and the setting, well beyond what you need to understand the scene or the plot. Their goal is to make this world come alive and help you picture the scene exactly the way they see it in their minds.

There’s writers who are very light on the sensory fluff and poetry, trying to give you the impression of what the scene should look and feel like and letting you fill in the missing pieces with your own vision.

Or there’s stories that take a long time to get anywhere, spending many pages on the small otherwise insignificant slice-of-life details as opposed to laser-precision on the plot, and those who trim off all the fat for a fast-paced rollercoaster.

None of these are inherently bad or wrong, but audiences do have their preferences.

The keyword in “constructive criticism” is “construct”. As in, your advice is useless if you can’t explain why you think an element needs work. “It’s just bad” isn’t helpful to anyone.

When trying to decide if feedback has merit, try to look at whatever the critic gives you and explain what they said to yourself in your own words. If you think changing the piece in question will enhance your story or better convey what you’re trying to say, it’s probably solid advice.

Sometimes you just have to throw the whole character out, or the whole scene, whole plot line and side quest. Figuring out what you can salvage just takes time, and practice.

4. Just when you think you’re done, there’s more

There’s a quote out there that may or may not belong to Da Vinci that goes “art is never finished, only abandoned.” Even when you think your book is as good as it can be, you can still sleep on it and second-guess yourself and wonder if something about it could have been done better or differently.

There is such a thing as too much editing.

But it also takes a long time to get there. Only 10-15% of writing is actually penning the story. The rest is editing, agonizing over editing, re-editing, and staring at the same few lines of dialogue that just aren't working to the point that you dream about your characters.

It can get demoralizing fast when you think you’ve fixed a scene, get the stamp of approval from one reader, only for the next one to come back with valid feedback neither of you considered before. So you fix it again. And then there’s another problem you didn’t consider. And then you’re juggling all these scene bits and moments you thought were perfect, only for it to keep collapsing.

It will get there. You will have a manuscript you’re proud of, even if it’s not the one you thought you were going to write. My newest book isn’t what I set out to write, but if I stuck to that original idea, I never would have let it become the work that it is.

5. “[Writing advice] is more like guidelines than actual rules.”

Personally, I think there’s very few universal, blanket pieces of writing advice that fit every book, no exceptions, no conditions, no questions asked. Aside from: Don’t sacrifice a clear story for what you think is cool, but horribly confusing.

For example, I’m American, but I like watching foreign films from time to time. The pacing and story structure of European films can break so many American rules it’s astonishing. Pacing? What pacing? It’s ~fancy~. It wants to hang on a shot of a random wall for fifteen seconds with no music and no point because it’s ~artsy~. Or there is no actual plot, or arc, it’s just following these characters around for 90 minutes while they do a thing. The entire movie is basically filler. Or the ending is deeply unsatisfying because the hoity-toity filmmaker believes in suffering for art or… something.

That doesn’t fly with mainstream American audiences. We live, breathe, and die on the Hero’s Journey and expect a three-act-structure with few novel exceptions.

That does not mean your totally unique or subversive plot structure is wrong. So much writing advice I’ve found is solid advice, sure, but it doesn’t often help me with the story I’m writing. I don’t write romance like the typical romance you’d expect (especially when it comes to monster allegories). There’s some character archetypes I just can’t write and refuse to include–like the sad, abusive, angsty, 8-pack abs love interest, or the comedic relief.

Beyond making sure your audience can actually understand what you’re trying to say, both because you want your message to be received, and you don’t want your readers to quit reading, there is an audience for everything, and exceptions to nearly every rule, even when it comes to writing foundations like grammar and syntax.

You don’t even have to put dialogue in quotes. (Be advised, though, that the more ~unique~ your story is, the more likely you are to only find success in a niche audience).

Lots of writing advice is useful. Lots of it is contradictory. Lots of it is outdated because audience expectations are changing constantly. There is a balance between what you *should* do as said by other writers, and what you think is right for your story, regardless of what anyone else says.

Just don’t make it confusing.

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I just dropped my cover art and summary for my debut novel. Go check it out and let me know what you think!

#writing advice #writing resources #writing tips #writing tools #writing a book #writing #writeblr #editing #constructive criticism