#and really just like. erasing everything interesting about those characters instead

[sukifoof]

you don't have to answer this if you don't want to but i just wanna say that growth spurt and AFR are exactly what i was thinking of as good examples of "asriel comes back" AUs when i left those tags on your post haha! i love those specifically because they're among the few that don't erase his trauma and his time as flowey as now being a permanent part of who he is. if, instead, you just revert him back into the same sweet little goat boy he used to be, i feel like you remove the entire point of his story and everything that's interesting about the canon ending and what we see in the alarm clock dialogue.

yeah exactly!!! i think afr and growth spurt are some of the few post pacifist aus that really do asriel justice i love them SOOO much. i have my own au but its more like. asriel never died so now hes just flowey dealing with looking like asriel cuz he still reacts the same way to trauma. but anyway afr is so good its by far my favorite au i drew these like. two years ago i think after reading it. afr asriel is the character of all time i love them SO much i really should draw them again soon. theres just something really special about the way her character arc is written i stayed up literally all night with a migraine to finish reading it cuz its written so well

#asriel #asriel dreemurr #askfallenroyalty #afr my most beloved..... SO good #riel art #undertale

[destinygoldenstar]

In the early seasons, Lloyd was the hero of the story. The Chosen One. The one with the most relevance to the story. The one with the most important role in the narrative.

But he was NOT the surrogate for the audience.

KAI was the audience surrogate. Kai was the one we were following and seeing everything in the lens of. He started the show in his shoes, we followed him on his ninja origins, we discovered the world of Ninjago when he was. And Lloyd wasn't even introduced yet. Even after such, there are SEVERAL shots that indicate the audience seeing something from Kai's POV. The other ninja didn't often get that unless it was a focus season/episode for them.

In that sense, it's VERY interesting to me.

Usually a show would make the Chosen One the audience surrogate. Because they're the most relevant. And Lloyd definately is relevant.

But our supposed 'protagonist' is NOT that person. Instead they're basically an average firebending character watching this Chosen One narrative unfold while he served a different/more important role than one could imagine a Chosen One story needs.

To be the one to RAISE the hero. To be the one to PROTECT him. LOOK AFTER him. BE THERE for him.

And doing it all with just a sword and a familial spark.

Had Kai been open about his jealousy and refused to take on this role, Lloyd likely wouldn't have fulfilled HIS role as the Green Ninja, or even come out a healthy person. The other ninja are obviously a factor into that as well, I'm not denying their relevance, but all of them needed to contribute for that to happen.

THAT is Kai's role in the story. That's why people considered him 'the protagonist' in the earlier seasons. NOT because he was the Chosen One, but because we were in his shoes and struggling with him to fulfill a role that was just as important.

There are not a lot of shows out there that highlight that. In fact, often when shows do that, it's bad because then the protagonist is so irrelevant to the story that it feels like the side characters are more important. But I think THIS aspect is what made Ninjago's version of that work when it really shouldn't have. Saying aloud what Kai's purpose is supposed to be helps too, and makes you understand that there's a message here.

It's also WHY when people say "Kai being the Green Ninja would've been a more interesting story", I WHOLEHEARTEDLY DISAGEE with it.

It would've been cliche, and I think it's a better message to say, "Hey, sometimes you're NOT the special person. Sometimes you will NOT get what you want. BUT you are STILL important and you have a purpose more relevant than what the traditional 'special' role is."

In the LATER SEASONS though...

Yeah that role has just been ERASED. Which is disappointing.

I love Lloyd's POV and I love what they do with him (until Crystalized where it was just... UGH). But they did not need to fade away Kai's role in the story for that to happen. (This is not a 'Focusing on Kai would be taking away focus from Cole or Lloyd' situation. You can STILL have those two get their great development in the later seasons, and no characters have to suffer for it to happen.)

#ninjago #ninjago kai #kai jiang #kai smith #lloyd garmadon #ninjago lloyd

[jesamnelovelace]

Many people’s negative feelings towards Terry Long lead them to wanting him to be removed completely from Donna’s history. I understand why. He was a good decade older than her, and she was freshly an adult when they began dating. He didn’t respect her career as a hero, often complaining about it despite having known beforehand what he was getting into. He took her child from her in their divorce. Etc. 

Terry was not a good partner for Donna, but I don’t believe canon should just erase him. For better or for worse, Terry played a major role in Donna’s life, and removing him would change who she has become as a character/person.

The problem with Terry’s portrayal, especially prior to his and Donna’s divorce, was that the source material presented their relationship as healthy and tried to convince the readers of that. Clearly their relationship was not actually healthy.

When the age gap is brought up in the comics, it’s never for negative reasons. Sometimes it’s just a jab at Terry for being old, but often these references are used to show how mature Donna is. Wolfman has even said that he created Terry as Donna’s love interest because she needed somebody more mature like her. For him that meant she needed to date a man ten years her senior.

Only after their separation and divorce does their relationship start to be shown a bit negatively. However, even when it is, it’s not doing anything to show that the relationship was unhealthy when they were together. The negative things brought up and referenced about Terry are just that he was the one who initiated the divorce and left Donna and that he took Robbie away from Donna.

The ideal way, in my opinion, for what writers should do with their relationship is not to look back on it in a positive way, nor do I think they should completely ignore it ever happened. It should be acknowledged as something unhealthy that Donna didn’t seen at the time since she was young and naive. Something that took time/needs to take time for her to fully grasp.

However, this doesn’t mean I want for Donna to suddenly just completely hate him. I know many people enjoy revenge fantasies, and I know there are people that use Terry for those, and if that’s how you cope with things, that’s fine. I just personally don't see that as in character for Donna, nor do I really find it compelling.

Donna’s feelings towards Terry should be complicated. It should be something she struggles with at first that she later comes to terms with. There were some comics during and after the divorce that started to do this, but, again, her negative feelings were about the divorce itself and Terry taking Robbie away and not the relationship prior to these events.

During and after the divorce, despite everything Terry has been putting Donna through since he left her, she continues to believe she still loves him and thinks he must feel the same way about her. It ties a bit in with her issues with perfectionism. What they had was the perfect family she wanted, and she can’t fathom that she’s losing it. 

She believes that despite everything he is still a good person. She has occasional moments of anger towards him, but she still feels positively about him a lot of the time. It’s heartbreaking seeing these moments.

New Titans #117

New Titans #128

Even after his death her feelings remain complicated. She grieves for him along with Robbie. After everything he put her through. It would be so easy for her to be angry at him for Robbie’s death regardless of how much at fault he is. But she doesn’t. Instead she continues to feel love for him.  He took her son from her in more ways than one, and she still loves him.

Girlfrenzy! Wonder Woman: Donna Troy

This display of complicated feelings, where she continues to love somebody she has every right to be mad at, isn’t just something she does with Terry. She’s done this with the Titans of Myth as well. They messed with her memories and manipulated her, but she still feels love for them. 

Return of Donna Troy #4

To me it’s just a lot more compelling for her to struggle with the fact that she still loves these people who she has every right to hate. Even as she comes to terms with how poorly they treated her. She loves Terry. He was an important part of her life. But he hurt her. From the start their relationship was unhealthy. 

A story arc for Donna where it finally hits her how bad things were the whole time could be so much fun if handled correctly. And this is why I would prefer this over him being removed or just having Donna suddenly switch to just full on hating him. For her character it makes a lot more sense for things to be a bit more complex than that.

#donna troy #terry long

[antianakin]

I used to love Ahsoka as a character and I thought she was a really interesting foil/parallel to Anakin but at some point I started to disconnect with her character and be all ‘huh that doesn’t seem right’ and for ages I couldn’t figure out why/what it was specifically that was bothering me that wasn’t just *gestures at post-Wrong Jedi!Ahsoka as a whole*

From airing of tcw s7 onwards and also a little before that in some (but admittedly not all) parts of rebels she just doesn’t act like a Jedi.

Like we’re clearly supposed to think that she does and she uses the Force to do things and she uses lightsabre combat and sometimes she even listens to what the Force is telling her(!) but she doesn’t act the way a Jedi would or should most of the time. She doesn’t use or express their teachings or philosophies or act in any way according to them even when she says she does* or the narrative implicitly claims that’s what she’s doing

(*when she’s around Kanan this gets a bit less notable bc she does act more Jedi-like around him and I can’t figure out whether that’s deliberate or accidental or what it’s supposed to say or mean about them both if it’s intentional)

Before that she was fun and also flawed and I think if they’d kept those roots while either showing how she’d manage to overcome/learn from those flaws or that she hadn’t managed to move past them at all but was still trying her best then she would have stayed interesting! But instead her character gets flattened and her flaws get narratively erased (while still being very much there just not acknowledged in any way and/or presented as though they’re not flaws at all) in favour as propping her up as The Best Jedi TM and making her feel like a caricature of an ideal rather than a real character.

Like I am mid-Ahsoka show right now and she doesn’t even feel like the same character! Everything that made her interesting is just gone and the narrative constantly implies that she’s right even when she very clearly is not???

Writers challenge! Accept that characters have flaws and should have flaws to make them interesting and help drive the plot rather than making them perfect bc they’re your favourite!

Yeah, I don't even mind Ahsoka growing OUT of her earlier flaws (which are primarily the same ones that Anakin was given, like impatience and overconfidence/arrogance) and into different ones that reflect her new experiences and maturity. But it also would've been great to see how those flaws she started with, the impatience/impulsivity and the overconfidence/arrogance sort-of grew WITH her.

Like the way the Wrong Jedi arc shows her refusing to trust the Council LONG before she has any reason to do so and going off on her own to try to prove her own innocence which just makes her look more guilty and pushes the Council into more of a corner while also trusting ONLY the person who ended up framing her in the first place. The way that her more childish impatience and overconfidence has sort-of grown into the more dangerous impulsiveness and arrogance in the Wrong Jedi would've been so so interesting to look at if anyone writing it had been willing to acknowledge that she was in the wrong.

And you could keep going with that in later arcs and have her still be sort-of mistrustful of authority (especially Jedi authority), inclined to believe in her own superiority of opinion, and impulsive in her judgments. That's generally what we see in season 7, especially regarding her behavior towards characters like Mace and Obi-Wan. She believes she's right ALL THE TIME and this would be FINE if the narrative actually supported the idea that she WASN'T. Ahsoka can think she's right, but the audience should understand that she isn't. That's how her flaws got portrayed in earlier seasons of TCW and why I tend to prefer them to later ones. And this would've been a great place to follow up on her comment about not trusting HERSELF. Maybe Ahsoka has sort-of wandered away from mindfulness since she left the Order and so instead of continuing to look at the mistakes she made that caused the Order to mistrust her, she just starts blaming the Jedi for everything. And when she starts making accusations at Obi-Wan, have him point out that not only is she not being fair, but she's not being HONEST, with herself or anyone else. Because truly, it's not the Jedi she doesn't trust. It's not the Council playing politics that she's afraid of. It's her own flawed judgment leading her to her own destruction.

And there's SO MUCH you could do with that moving forward into Rebels, to showcase Ahsoka's continuing struggle with trusting her own judgment and how she's grown since Order 66 and into her place as a rebel where she HAS to trust herself more, but she still doesn't entirely trust herself to be a JEDI. Perhaps her uncertainty over Anakin's fate has a part to play in that. Instead, they just made her a spy despite the fact that a LACK OF SUBTLETY was one of her major personality traits in TCW and never once was she shown doing any kind of real spy work and we don't really see her doing any in Rebels either aside from a few conversations with Hera. We have no idea how she ended up growing into that role or WHY she took on that particular role rather than something that would've fit her existing skillset better. Ahsoka's position within the Rebellion is one of the places I think they really faltered with her because it could've been utilized to genuinely help her character move forward and develop her more as a Jedi survivor. Instead, she's just kinda... there and her entire narrative tends to revolve around Anakin, a problem that persists and actually got worse with the Ahsoka show.

I don't truly mind that Ahsoka is perhaps not acting much like a Jedi, at least not all the time, because that could be a really easy way to give her a journey BACK to being more like a Jedi. Much like the Kenobi show had Obi-Wan acting very out of character and unlike a Jedi in order to have him go on a journey to reclaim that identity and become the wise Master we all know and remember, they could've done something similar with Ahsoka. Let the narrative embrace that she's not acting like a Jedi as an intentional choice so that she can move forward from there and BECOME a Jedi again. This is also an arc that Kanan himself is sort-of going on, so it would've been pretty easy to parallel them a little in Rebels if they'd been willing to represent Ahsoka as anything other than a literal angel come to earth.

The problem with the Ahsoka show is that it DOES give her flaws, but the flaws it chooses to give her are the opposite of what they should be. (This paragraph might get a bit spoilery, so if you're trying to avoid spoilers until you finish the whole show, just skip this paragraph.) Instead of showing Ahsoka as impatient/impulsive and somewhat arrogant, they show Ahsoka being too UNFEELING. Ahsoka's primary flaw in the Ahsoka show is that she's too detached because her feelings regarding Anakin's fall have apparently caused her to pull away from connecting to anybody on a deeper level or something. And they choose to show this by having her literally recite Jedi philosophy of non-attachment and have Sabine push back against it. So now it's not just that Ahsoka is too unfeeling but that she's too much like the Prequels Jedi, the BAD Jedi who FAILED. And only once she lets go of those Jedi philosophies holding her back (and instead explicitly chooses to emulate ANAKIN, the dude who let himself be consumed by selfishness and greed and betrayed everybody and threw an entire galaxy into tyranny) is she able to move forward in her relationships. Instead of recognizing that Sabine is impulsive and arrogant and letting that shine a light on Ahsoka's own flaws so that they can BOTH work on them more, it just chooses to justify Sabine's impulsivity and arrogance instead and Ahsoka needs to accept Sabine as she is and support her completely no matter what horrifically selfish bullshit she does. Moral of the story, never hold your loved ones accountable for anything they do wrong!

Long story short, I think Ahsoka was 100% at her best in her bratty teenager phase in early TCW when the narrative actually was willing to admit she HAD flaws that she had to work through and her character has been completely flattened ever since they decided to pretend she no longer has any flaws and is just always right about everything (except for when she's acting TOO MUCH like the wrong kind of Jedi).

#star wars #the clone wars #tcw #star wars rebels #rebels #ahsoka critical #ahsoka tano critical #anti ahsoka show #ahsoka show negativity

[tower-of-hana]

The Magic System in Harry Potter Is Kinda Dumb an Essay

The Killing Curse Was a Bad Idea

I took this one from a youtube video but it's true and I don't see it talked about a lot. The killing curse was a bad idea because it disincentivises the villains from ever attacking the heroes in an interesting way. Instead of using any type of dark magic that is interesting and cool they'll just reach for the instant death spell because it's easier.

It Doesn't Have Any Meaningful Rules:

Rules in a magic system are important because they allow the characters to establish strategies and for the audience to understand what those strategies are. Harry Potter doesn't do this which is why almost all of the magic fights are dumb and boring (it doesn't help that the main character knows like three spells but that isn't really a problem with the worldbuilding). Pretty much all the limits on the magic system in Harry Potter are used to stop the author from having to worldbuild.

It Also Doesn't Do Anything with the Lack of Rules:

That being said, anime fights where characters throw the sun at each other are dumb fun but Harry Potter doesn't do that either. Harry Potter doesn't really have any spells that are overpowered in an interesting way. As a result all fights are just characters throwing the same three spells at each other and older characters using undefined, more interesting spells to create the illusion of a better magic system.

Transfiguration Is Implemented Badly:

Transfiguration isn't a bad idea but the way it works in the books makes it completely useless. Why the fuck would anyone use a spell to turn a hyper specific thing into another hyper specific thing. That's just not all that helpful.

We Don't Know What Magic IS:

In Harry Potter pretty much everything about how magic works is badly defined. But I think most of this problem stems from the more fundamental problem that Harry Potter never establishes what magic is. In a lot of stories the author mentions at some point what their magic system fundamentally is: the force is some type of magic force that exists throughout the universe, chakra is magic energy that flows through your body etc. This is not necessary but it helps both you and the audience know what the rules and limits to magic are. Harry Potter doesn't do this so magic can just do random bullshit.

Good Guy Magic and Bad Guy Magic Operates on Twisted Morality:

Some pieces of media give the bad guys evil magic so you know that they are evil. Harry Potter tries to do this but utterly fails. Take the unforgivable curses for instance. The first is the cruciatus curse, it causes pain. This is fine, most people agree that pain is bad. The second one is the imperious curse, it allows you to control people. This would be fine because mental manipulation is generally considered to be bad. Or it would be, if the story hadn't already established that the "good guys" go around erasing people's memories all the time. In fact they constantly invade and manipulate the minds of muggles to the point where they genuinely do it more than the racist bad guys. In fact the wizarding world is basically an apartheid state enforced by the literal thought police and the main characters we're supposed to sympathize get positions of power in it (mostly) but I digress. The third is the killing curse and this one makes sense on the surface but when you think about it it's really baffling. Sure killing people with no other side effects or other purpose sounds evil until you realize that the good guys in Harry Potter try to kill people by: blowing them up, setting them on fire, crushing them with shelves of shitty plot devices, disintegrating them, defenestrating them (movie), freeing a dragon in a crowded area, setting unquestionably evil beings loose around children, suffocating them with magic plants, magic plant Havana Syndrome, crushing them with giants, burning them with the power of love, supposedly slicing them to pieces with transfigured knight statues, being eaten by magic bushes, poison murder trees, trampling them, and fucking yeeting them across the room. I dunno mate I would rather painlessly die tbh.

✨The Powa of Wuv✨

You know how the power of love is a thing we all joke about because it's such a trite and overplayed stand-in for an actual solution to a problem? Well the author decided to make it a part of the magic system. Now for the low low price of your mom you, yes you, can be immune to the plot. I would praise this as great satire if it wasn't taken 100% seriously the entire series.

#magic #anti jk rowling #anti jkr #anti harry potter #anti hp #worldbuilding

[rontra]

Tell us about they/them lesbian Cinder with text to back it 👀

askfbhs okay but this post is like 2000 words long

statement one: doing a reading of a text, and then using that analysis to draw a particular conclusion for one's own enjoyment, is largely disconnected from the authorial intents that created said text. it's common for a piece of text to be able to be read in many ways, and for those readings to be able to used as supports for a multitude of conclusions. by no means should this post be framed as a comment on what "the canon text Means", because that is fundamentally not what we're trading in. we're not "proving" anything

statement two: cinder's character is complex, deftly written, and can be mined for a lot of meaning, much like all of rwby. there's a lot going on at all times in this show, and many parts remain to some degree an open question since the story hasn't finished yet. you can draw dozens of readings from almost everything in this work. by the same hand, some parts of this post were necessarily abbreviated for time lmao

statement three: cinder's relationship with gender SPECIFICALLY is genuinely textually interesting no matter where you go with it in the end, so if nothing else, at least enjoy Thinking About It... 😌

the core idea here is actually really simple hahaha. we'll take a scenic route though, to affix that idea into a more complete picture. a Pattern if you will

cinder is very strongly characterized by two linked ideas: the fear of being powerless, and the annihilation of the previous self that was powerless. the outward face of cinder's identity is very unstable because of the latter; a lot of conscious effort is expended trying to erase the cinder fall that once existed--the one that was at other people's complete mercy (and received nothing of the sort). cinder is always in "survival mode", trying to achieve some sense of personal safety and to avoid being perceived as weak and vulnerable. that terror and hunger nipping at cinder's heels is what leads into salem's claws--into a new grip of abuse, of course--because salem promises to solve it and give all the power cinder could want and more. yeah?

the most easy-to-track manifestation of those twin drives is, of course, where they intersect with a major piece of rwby's own thematic language: weapons! in rwby's language, weapons are closely tied to their wielder's identity--"They're an extension of ourselves! They're a part of us!", famously! (v1e2)

(...which also gives us very funny little unrelated nuggets like the eternally faceless and repressed "i was the machine, just following orders" winter having weapons whose names--if they even have any--we don't know. but that's a knowing smile for another day)

cinder was trained by rhodes to wield two swords, an idea that's later combined with archery into what we consider "cinder's weapon", Midnight. in the flashbacks of v3e7, Midnight is in its earliest and most ordinary form. this Midnight is made of normal weapon stuff like metal lmao and cinder uses it very effectively in taking down amber. HOWEVER, as soon as cinder lays hands on half of amber's power, this version of Midnight is thrown aside and destroyed: the pyre that destroys Midnight is used to demonstrate cinder's power and intimidate the Fang. after this—for the duration of the beacon arc—cinder instead uses glass to form a replica of Midnight. this "imitation Midnight" lasts until cinder is maimed by ruby atop beacon tower (and presumably medevac'ed by one of salem's other guys LMAO)

after 1) suffering this defeat, and 2) obtaining the rest of amber's power, cinder flat out stops using Midnight. beyond this point, cinder solely relies on magic to create an ever-changing roster of weapons as needed. with the completion of Autumn's power, so too is the killing of Midnight completed: as far as cinder is concerned, the "self" that was connected to Midnight no longer exists. the part of cinder's story and identity that was in Midnight has been buried and no one will ever know about it again. preferably everyone would just act like none of it ever existed and cinder has Always been powerful (and did NOT just get rent asunder by a teenager! please and thank you!)

the incremental deaths of Midnight really show the crutch that power is to make cinder feel safer and more confident, and the urge to destroy the past/the version of cinder who was not as powerful. once cinder has the maiden power, Midnight is unnecessary. it's also interesting to see that many of these magic-made weapons are visibly fractured, fragile, and expendable, which i'm sure in the Weapon Symbolism Show doesn't mean anything its fine 😭😂

anyway in this new era of relying completely on magic we start to observe another quirky aspect: rather than drawing on personal identity, cinder will frequently imitate other characters who were in some way "powerful" (or at least "impactful"). see: floating array and miló. cinder imitates people who left an impression of strength or skill; in endlessly chasing "power", cinder is nabbing pieces of what makes other people powerful and cobbling them together, to cover the "flaw" (heavy quotes) that is cinder's own identity.

without you, i am nothing.

still, what does cinder keep falling back on, like a habit you can't shake? the original! and when cinder defies salem's orders in v8, what do we finally see again, for just a brief moment? hey, i thought you were dead! for as much as cinder wants to pretend the past is dead and buried, it sure seems to be Haunting us: right there underneath the paint, as soon as cinder stops thinking about copying someone else, or is defiant of salem's control and has to rely on Just Cinder (god forbid!), there it is again.

"okay, that's fine," you might be saying, a few million words into this gigantic post, "but what does any of that have to do with cinder fall's gender". listen to me. this was all setting up very important context for the funniest thing about cinder fall.

like, anyone that's even half-awake while watching rwby will notice the huge differences between how cinder acts and looks in the beacon arc VS how cinder has acted and looked Since Then. beacon arc cinder is smooth and in control and mature and dangerous. and of course, she's feminine. i've seen people outright call this incarnation of cinder a femme fatale! and i guess i can see why; she has mystery, beauty, a little bit of seduction to sway people. she plays manipulative games. and of course, she's dangerous. cinder in the beacon arc is exceedingly threatening because of how good she is at being the underdog; when she has to use cunning instead of brute force and scheme her way uphill in both directions, she kills it! literally!

--hey that was a lot of she/her all of a sudden. hmm. let's talk about women (audience cheers) NO I MEAN. evil women (audience cheers louder)

cinder's life is strongly marked by two women in particular: the madame and salem. both of them exert an immense amount of power over cinder; when we talk about situations where cinder has been powerless, these two people are the ones that spring to mind. in cinder's world, which is very coldly divided into people who Have Power and people who Do Not Have Power, both madame and salem very much Have Power. they have maybe the Most Power It's Possible To Have, by cinder's math. this also makes them Very Important figures for our examination, because what they are will reflect back onto cinder's malleable self.

madame and salem are both feminine, both older, both powerful; examine these two and suddenly you start seeing the pieces being stolen. the mature shade of red the madame wears. salem's levelheaded control paired with her distance and mystique—(trying not to say "and her cleavage")... v8e6 even places explicit focus on the sound of the madame's high heels as a herald of incoming danger.

their bearing, their ways of navigating the world, the way they dress. their… oh my god… their gender presentation!!!

the thing about cinder fall is that the mimicry of power does not stop at weapons. this is a Pattern that extends BEYOND merely "doing the floating array trick". the entirety of beacon arc cinder, including gender presentation, is mimicry. because in cinder's mind at this point, the most powerful thing a person can be is a mysterious older femme.

to cinder, ideas traditionally associated with femininity, specifically the femininity of adult women, are explicit markers of power and threat; and these things can be picked up and worn and imitated. these things can be performed. but there's never a sense that cinder owns these things or is particularly attached to them (i mean, beyond cinder's conception of Power). furthermore, cinder doesn't fully understand how these two women operate, and (being far younger) lacks the experience to fully embody them.

(--the way cinder handles emerald in particular is very revealing of this disconnect, as the dynamic shown as early as v2 is a clear attempt to wrangle her the way salem does her own minions; but cinder fails to understand and execute the crucial part, which is tapping into what emerald actually wants. because cinder, living in their own "survival mode" priority list, can't understand or relate to what emerald wants from them. the attempts made to replicate salem's affectations only push emerald away and strain her loyalty.)

but goddamn if cinder doesn't think power is stored in the gender!

it's interesting, then, that after the beacon arc blows up and a huge L is handed to Femme Cinder, they gradually drift further and further away from this; the illusion has broken. in lockstep with their drift from salem—cinder's exile, then intentionally testing the ice to see how far salem will let them stray—the further they go, the more they assert themselves, the further they also stray away from those "markers of power" associated with salem and madame. in the era of the blink-and-youll-miss-it flash of cinder's own identity, of Midnight, we also witness the ever-increasing straying from the performance of femininity that the beacon arc cinder clung to. huh!

so, let's see, we have a very intentional and consistent streak of cinder attempting to annihilate their own identity and replace it with something else (something strong) (something no one can hurt); this theme is visible both in their armory and wardrobe. cinder is terrified of who they'll be without these masks, because that person has been victimized, betrayed, and abused by every person who had power over them. the solution cinder has in their mind is to Become So Powerful that no one can do that to them ever again, no matter what they have to do or sacrifice to get there. and a lot of that conflict is slathered in this layer of Gender Stuff! this is INTERESTING!!!! no matter what people take from this post i at least hope you can find this aspect interesting, especially if you hadn't really thought about cinder's mimicry before...

anyway the very Gendered tension in their character comes bearing down twice as hard when considering that madame verbally invokes ideas about "being ladylike" while she's abusing them, reinforcing this mental link between Being Ladylike = Having Power, Not Being Ladylike = Not Having Power (= being crushed under the (high) heel of those that Do). cinder's femininity is ungenuine at best and coerced at worst; in my opinion, that much has been gestured at pretty overtly

from here, you can draw whatever conclusions from it that you please; e.g. would cinder LIKE to claim femininity for themselves in a genuine way, or would they not? do they feel attached to it, or not? in the Midnight glimmers of cinder's own real human self—the one they try so desperately at every turn to kill and bury, by directly coöpting pieces of other people they think are powerful—what do you see there? that's a conclusion for you to draw, of course…

you've no doubt twigged by the pronoun heehoos happening in this post that i'm quite fond of they/them cinder lol. i like my non biney lesbian struggler (the lesbian part Specifically i don't have a whole post locked and loaded for, that's just because im a lesbian and i like it<3). i rotate the disconnect between cinder and their identity and their performance in my mind and go "huh! your gender is Lesbian. congrats sweet prince" well anyway i think salem shoulda been cool FOR ONCE and offered to give them top surgery when she was gluing them back together after beaconSJHBHBNSDHB

of course, there's a myriad of ways to take this and make it serve whatever gender and pronouns headcanons you like, so i'm not saying it definitely means exactly what i personally like. like i said at the start, i'm not interested in "proving" anything or whatever. i'm just observing that it's interesting, and then im applying it to beef up headcanons i personally like... so you do as you will, too 😌

but to me, no matter what final conclusion is drawn, gender is a performance and cinder fall is trapped on the stage! goodluck up there!

#is this the 2000 word cinder gender post. im gonna scream

[naughtyneganjdm]

Mine - Chapter 9

Summary: When things start feeling like they are going back to the way they were before, Y/N feels conflicted in her thoughts about both Joel and Negan.

Characters: Joel Miller, Negan, the reader (OC, third person), Tommy Miller, Ellie, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45115177/chapters/115659571

Warnings: Swearing, super angst, smut, depression, etc.

Notes: This is a long chapter, but a lot of stuff happens. I can't promise you that it will make everyone happy and I apologize for that, but this is very angsty. Thanks for reading to those that do! Gif Credits: @joelmjller & @jdmorganz​

Over the last few days, Y/N did her best to erase the memory she shared with Negan from her mind. It was something that happened in a moment of weakness and she didn’t want to go back to that knowing that both Joel and Negan meant so much to her. So instead, she pretended like everything was the way it was before her birthday. She had feelings for Negan, but she pushed them down and away. After Joel had opened up to her on a personal level, she saw that as a step in the right direction. It meant he was willing to open up to her and that was something that took a lot out of him. It was him breaking down his protective wall piece by piece and she was hoping that meant their relationship would progress more between the two of them.

Since they shared the night by the water together, Joel really hadn’t opened up to her much more. That night had likely taken a lot out of him and she understood that. It was going to take time and she was going to do her best to give it to him.

One thing that did surprise her was the lack of conversation about her ‘special day’ that Joel had insisted on having for her after her birthday fell to shit. It was something that he really stressed originally, even to the point of her actually switching patrol with someone. Maybe after the night they shared by the water, he thought he made up for everything and he didn’t have something actually planned for her. Regardless, she was doing her best to keep her head up and not try to hold too much against Joel.

It was Friday and without Joel really talking things out, she just assumed he was really going all in with this surprise that he was setting up for her or he just had forgotten. With Joel working as hard as he was at the powerplant, she decided to make him a nice lunch to bring him while he was at work. On her walk there she had realized that she hadn’t been there since the accident happened. It would be interesting to see how things were now with Joel working as hard as he had been.

When she entered the powerplant, she was surprised to see all the construction that was being done to it. It was like they were updating things in general after the accident happened. It took a while for her to walk around and it felt like people barely noticed her or even acknowledged her. They had definitely gotten more people working there to fix things compared to when her job was permanently there and it was hard finding Joel.

That was until the familiar laughter boomed through the air catching her attention. Looking up toward the second floor, she saw a group of people on the second story platform that had been surprisingly fixed already. Tipping her head to the side, she knew that the laughter belonged to Negan. Searching him out, she saw that Negan was talking with Joel, Tommy and a few others. All of them were laughing about something and she felt her throat tensing up. Negan’s arm was hooked around Joel’s shoulder while they stood next to one another and Joel seemed completely relaxed with Negan touching him the way he was while they talked with the group of people that were with them.

Heading for the stairs, she felt strange feeling a sense of jealousy over the fact that Joel seemed so relaxed with Negan in comparison to how he used to be with her. Joel would have cringed over her hanging all over him in the past, yet there Negan was hanging out with everyone and Joel didn’t seem to mind that Negan was clinging onto him like that.

Shaking it off, Y/N knew it was a ridiculous thought to begin with and approached the group. It absolutely shocked her when she heard Negan crack a joke that made Joel burst out in laughter. His laugh was loud and he was so entertained that it made her stop in her tracks. Never in her time in being with Joel had she ever heard him laugh like that. Even the smile he had on his face afterwards took her breath away. Joel reached up to wipe at his eyes from how hard he was laughing. Why the hell was she getting so upset about this whole thing?

The sound of her moving must have drawn Tommy’s attention because he was the first to notice her and he gave her a big smile, “Hey there sister-in-law.”

“Shut up Tommy,” Joel slurred smacking his brother upside the head in a playful whack making her throat go dry. “Don’t say shit like that.”

“She might as well be my sister-in-law,” Tommy waved his hand in the air dismissively prior to throwing his arms out to Y/N to offer her a big hug. Accepting his gesture, she hugged Joel’s younger brother thinking about how Joel’s immediate response was to smack his brother at the idea of her being married to him. That was something she knew would never happen considering how Joel couldn’t even bring himself to tell her that he loved her. “It’s so good to see you. What are you doing here?”

“I brought lunch for Joel,” she answered and the group of men that were around them made a mocking awe sound that made Joel’s face flush over with red. Negan teasingly brushed his fingers through Joel’s hair messing it up before shoving Joel playfully over toward Y/N. “What are you doing here Negan?”

“My shifts are a little all over the place at the dining hall. I had breakfast shift this morning and I’m doing dinner tonight,” Negan answered her with a wink giving her a big smile. “I decided to come in and visit the people here while I had some free time.”

With a nod, she knew that everyone loved Negan so that made sense as to why everyone was surrounding him. When she showed up there, she completely went under the radar. No one cared. It was hard not to be jealous of how easily people flocked to Negan. Yes, he was the hero in their accident, but no one really ever cared if she was okay or not. It reminded her of how Negan complained about people and their fucked up ideologies. Everyone came to give him gifts for saving her, but no one came to see how she was. It really made her think that people cared about Negan and Negan hurting himself. That they only cared if he would have gotten hurt or not. No one cared what happened to her or that she almost died. When she showed up at the powerplant today, she realized that she wasn’t missed at all. These people didn’t care about her.

“You didn’t have to do this,” Joel looked to her hand to see that she had packed an actual lunch inside of a bag for him. “You know that I could have just grabbed something quick here Y/N. It was no big deal for me.”

“You really didn’t have much to eat this morning, so I wanted to make sure you had enough in you,” Y/N tipped up on her toes to kiss Joel and she felt her heart sink when he turned just enough for her to kiss him on the cheek. She thought they were over this whole not wanting to show affection thing in front of other people. Yeah, there were a few people from town in the group they were talking in, but Negan and Tommy were there. Everyone knew that they were together. There was no question that other people would have noticed him denying her that kiss and it made her feel pathetic.

When she pulled back, she felt a lump developing in her throat. The way that Negan’s eyes were staring out at her, he had picked up on what happened. Negan nudged Joel who looked to him with a shrug of his shoulders and Negan shook his head, “What?”

“Here, I don’t want to interrupt all of you. It sounds like you were all having a good time together before I showed up,” she pulled the bag off her shoulder to hand it over to Joel who looked it over before accepting it. “It was nice seeing everyone again.”

“Why don’t you stay for a few minutes? I’ll walk back with you when you leave,” Negan proposed making her shake her head. The people here didn’t want him to leave and she was just making everything feel awkward. The energy in the group changed as soon as she showed up. “No, hey, it’s completely fine. I’m sure people miss seeing you around here too. It wouldn’t hurt having you stick around.”

“I for one miss seeing you every day,” Tommy’s arm hooked around Y/N’s shoulder giving her a squeeze that pulled her in closer to him. At least Tommy tried to make her feel welcomed. “You are so much smarter than the people we have working here.”

“Hey, I take offense to that,” one of the workers exclaimed with a wink at Y/N making Tommy’s snicker. When she showed up, Joel had suddenly gotten very serious and the relaxed man that she had seen from afar seemed uncomfortable to have her there. His head was lowered, his jaw flexing when he pushed his right hand into his pocket while his left arm remained hooked around the lunch bag she brought for him. “No, we do miss you here. You were the most adult person we had here taking care of things. You leveled us all out.”

“Thanks,” she knew that they had all just been persuaded to say that because Negan said something. “I really should get going though. I have…things to do.”

After the accident, Joel made it clear that he never wanted her working at the powerplant again. It left her doing odds and ends around Jackson. It really didn’t feel like she had a place where she belonged. With Negan, Maria was sure to place him in jobs that he actually liked and appealed to him. There was nowhere she really fit in. The one job she actually enjoyed was working with Negan at the library. Part of her wished they would just let her work at the dining hall with him too. Negan was really the only place where she felt like she belonged in this town. Negan didn’t work here either anymore and that was a gift from Maria, but honestly sometimes she missed it because she used to be able to be with Negan five to six days out of the week. And she was always around Joel even if he rarely acknowledged that they were together in front of others when they worked together at the powerplant. Things were so much lonelier even though she understood that Joel was trying to keep her safe.

“I’ll see you tonight,” she whispered to Joel and she gave Tommy one quick hug goodbye. The group was hassling Joel and she could hear it as she started to walk away.

“Hey,” Joel called out to her swiftly moving across the second story platform to meet her at the top of the stairs. Joel turned away from the group and his eyebrows furrowed. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine,” she muttered, her eyes searching his. The only thing she could imagine is that Joel ran off to make sure she was okay because Negan had pushed him to do so. It wouldn’t be the first time that Joel did something after Negan told him to. “I just wanted to see you.”

“Today?” Joel’s right eyebrow arched in curiosity making her feel anxious having him asking her like that. “I mean, you pick today to come down here. Why?”

“I have to have a reason? I was lonely,” she tipped her head to the side seeing his chocolate brown eyes gazing over her fiercely. “Did I do something?”

“No?” Joel seemed confused and she didn’t exactly know how to respond to him.

“Why are you acting weird?” she questioned seeing the way he shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. “I feel like I’m bothering you by being here right now.”

“You’re not,” Joel answered with a shake of his head, a weak smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I am always happy seeing you.”

“You don’t seem it,” she breathed out in a quiet exhale, her eyes looking down at her feet and she shrugged her shoulders. “It was stupid for me to come here. I can just take the lunch back if you want. I’m sorry for embarrassing you.”

“Whoa, hold on,” Joel shook his head, his hand reaching out to curl his fingers in underneath her jaw to get her to look up at him. “I’m not embarrassed. Why would I be embarrassed? I’m with the most beautiful woman in the town. If anything, everyone should be jealous. You don’t see their significant others coming up here with lunches for them, do you?”

It drew a small smile from her lips making Joel nod his head slowly, “I’m just quiet in public. You know that. I don’t like gatherings and I get weird in them. It’s not you. I promise you that.”

“Sure,” she nodded knowing that she didn’t exactly believe that considering he was all laughter before she showed up and he knew that she was there. Joel reached out to give her a one-armed hug that felt more like something a friend would do in saying goodbye instead of someone you had been with for over a year. “I guess I’ll see you at home tonight.”

Joel winked at her and headed back to be with the group that he was with originally. Standing there for a moment longer, she watched Joel’s posture completely change when he moved between Negan and Tommy again. Maybe he didn’t pick up on it, but it was obvious and it was there. The walk back home made her wonder if she made a mistake even going there.

Maybe it was her self-esteem kicking her ass lately, but she didn’t feel good about things. The people here didn’t make her feel good or seen. Joel was really good in certain situations, but the one they were just in made her feel like he was old Joel again and not the one that had completely opened up to her the other night.

When she got home, she felt incredibly alone to the point she considered seeing if she could find Maria to see if she needed help with anything. But she knew Maria had better things to do. While Y/N was close enough to Tommy and Maria, at the end of the day Y/N was just the woman that Tommy’s brother was with. Nothing more. The two of them would have had nothing to do with her if she wasn’t with Joel.

So, she sat to herself until Ellie got back from school. Ellie was the one thing that kept her grounded. There was no question Y/N was depressed with how unimportant she actually felt to the world around her. It was doing a number to her self-esteem that sucked already, but Ellie helped. With Ellie’s positivity, Ellie was the one person that could pull her out of things other than Joel or Negan. After school Ellie was hungry, so they made something quick to eat together before she went out in the back with Ellie to her apartment area. Ellie convinced her to play a video game with her and Y/N was eager to do it.

It surprised Y/N because she was there for hours. Many hours and Joel hadn’t come in search of her or anything. Ellie had been falling asleep and they could only have so much of a girl’s night before Ellie finally passed out. Ellie had insisted that she could stay awake, but Y/N told her that it was okay and she headed back into the house. Things were quiet and she only assumed that meant that it was a really busy day at work for Joel.

Heading up the stairs, she let out a shocked sound when she opened the door and saw that Joel was already in bed sleeping. Clearing her throat uneasily, she stood at the door of the bedroom and wondered how long he had been there. Part of her thought he would have come to find her when he got home from work, but it looked like he had been home for a while.

“He’s just tired,” she whispered to herself wondering if she had done something to make him cold toward her again. This was something that the old Joel would have done. What had caused him to revert like this? In her mind she was just hoping so much that it was just a one-day thing and it wasn’t much more than that.

So after she got dressed for the night, she crawled into bed with him and noticed the distance between the two of them. Sliding across the bed, she hooked her arm loosely around Joel’s waist and pressed her forehead against the broadness of his back. With the sound of his breathing, she knew that he had woken up enough to know that she was finally in bed with him, but he just got comfortable again and went back to sleep.

Today was just overly emotional and she knew that she needed to knock that shit off. It was for the best that way. She was probably just thinking to deeply into things and needed to get over herself. Cuddling in closer to Joel, she knew that she wouldn’t be able to sleep unless she had the warmth of him close to her.

It took quite a while for her to fall asleep and in the morning, she was awakened by the feeling of the bed shaking when Joel had obviously woken up. With a tired sound, she turned over onto the bed and noticed that Joel had grabbed a bag that he was packing. It made her smile realizing that it was Saturday and maybe this was him starting the day off like he promised her.

“Are we going somewhere?” she yawned, rubbing at her tired eyes when she lifted up on her elbows to stare out at Joel with a small smile. It was sad to admit, but she was actually excited at the idea of them potentially going on a journey together since they never really left Jackson.

“Uh no,” Joel stood straight, his jaw tensing when he cleared his throat and rest his hands at his hips. “Tommy needed to go on a run today and he asked me to go with him. I should be back by tomorrow. It’s just going to be a quick day run.”

“You’re…you…” she felt her heart sink when he brushed his fingers through his graying hair and started to pack a few more things in the bag that was at the bottom of the bed. “Joel, it’s Saturday.”

“Yeah?” Joel’s eyebrow arched up almost like he was confused when he lifted his head to stare out at her with his dark eyes. “And tomorrow is Sunday.”

“Joel,” she let his name linger on her lips when she pulled her blanket in closer to her body. He forgot again. With a shake of her head, she sighed and lowered her head to stare down at her lap and she nodded. “Okay.”

“What is it?” Joel sat down on the edge of the bed obviously picking up on her disappointment that she had flooding through her body.

“You can’t have someone else go with him?” she confirmed, lifting her head up to stare out at Joel with sadness in her eyes. More than anything, she wanted to believe Joel when he told her he would be giving her something special today, but once again she was just being let down in the end. “We can’t spend Saturday together?”

“We spend every day together,” Joel pointed out with a faint smirk making her drop her head again, her chest aching with how he wasn’t picking up on things. Reaching out, he placed his hand in over her leg and shook her. “I’ll be home tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow you have to work,” she reminded him seeing the way his eyebrows furrowed. Searching for some kind of way to make herself feel better, she tossed her hands up and flashed a fake smile. “Maybe I can come with the two of you? We can have a big family adventure?”

“Come on,” Joel snorted with a shake of his head, reaching out to palm in over the side of her face. “I’d feel much better knowing that you and Ellie were safe here.”

Deep inside of herself, she wanted to yell at him. She wanted to lecture him for not remembering his promise about today. Yet, she just knew it would make her the bad guy in the situation and she knew she didn’t really deserve a special day in the first place. In this world, there was no need to look forward to birthdays and she was really just expecting too much from Joel, “Forget it, Joel. Just please, be careful.”

“Are you okay?” Joel inquired when she lowered back down in the bed and laid down knowing that there was no point in even moving for the day. “Y/N?”

Part of her wanted to tell him what he was doing. That today was the day he promised to make special for her, but instead she just kept silent. There was no point in bringing up something that he didn’t even plan or care about. Maybe she was expecting too much from him and he already thought he made up for himself that night by the water.

“I’m just not feeling very well, so I’m going to lay here for a little while,” she pulled the sheets up and over her body, cuddling in closer to the pillow again hating that she felt so bad about this whole thing. There was a lump at the center of her throat and her body felt like it was on fire while Joel got himself dressed for the day. Why was she so damn hurt over this whole thing?

Joel dropped his bag by the door and looked back over his shoulder at her. Trying to hide her face from him, she heard him sigh loudly and turn back toward her. Joel crawled in over the bed and tugged faintly on the covers. Leaning down, he pressed a kiss over her temple and stroked his fingers through her hair, “I’ll be back soon. Okay?”

“Yeah,” she nodded her head hating that she was getting emotional over this whole thing. When Joel grabbed his things and left the bedroom she almost wished she was dreaming still and this was something her brain conjured up during the night since her self-esteem had been so low. Or maybe it was a joke he was pulling on her because he knew that this Saturday had meant so much to her based off what he had said.

When she heard the front door open and close, she felt her throat getting tense. God, she told herself not to get her hopes up, but she did. For a while she just laid there. Hell, she didn’t sleep often so maybe it was for the best if she did just sleep. But she couldn’t.

Getting up, she didn’t even bother getting dressed when she headed over to Ellie’s. She was hoping that she would be able to just spend time with Ellie and get over herself, but Ellie’s place was empty too making her realize that she was completely alone to herself.

It took a while for her to gather her thoughts before she headed inside and grabbed a jacket. Absolutely lost in her own mind, she left the house and headed for the dining hall knowing that Negan was working a shift there today. When she entered the building, she got some weird stares. Yeah, she was still wearing her pajamas, but she didn’t care if people were judging her right now.

Heading into the back, she knew that she wasn’t interested in food right now, she just had one person she wanted to see and it was Negan. When she saw him checking on something he baked, she reached over to place her hand over his shoulder surprising him when he saw her.

“Can we talk?” she pled of him, her eyes damp while Negan looked her over. “Please.”

“Hey, can you finish this up for me?” Negan asked of the woman that he was working with allowing Y/N to grab a hold of his hand to pull him out of the kitchen toward the outside. She went to the back of the building knowing they were less likely to run into people there. There was a picnic table for those that wanted to go outside and she headed over to it to take a seat on the table part while bracing her feet on the bench. “What are you doing here? I thought you would be doing something with Joel since today is your redo birthday.”

“He forgot again,” she responded making Negan’s head tip to the side, his eyes narrowing out at her when she was on the verge of having an absolute breakdown without meaning to. Damn it, there was that single tear burning at the side of her face. “I woke up this morning to him packing and he’s going on a run with Tommy today where he will be back tomorrow. He had no idea what today even was.”

“Y/N…” Negan’s arms lowered at his sides and she could see that in his mind that he was trying to come up with something to say, but he was at a loss. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what is going through his mind right now, but he really has to be overwhelmed if he forgot again.”

“What is it about me Negan?” she wondered looking for an answer making his eyes narrow when he tried to think about what she was asking him. “Why am I not good enough for him?”

“Who says you’re not?” Negan blurt out, his eyebrows furrowing when he heard her start to break down and he stepped forward unsure of what to say or do. “Y/N?”

“Every step forward we take, Joel just takes five more back. I thought he was changing and in the last twenty-four hours he has been more like the old Joel,” she informed Negan with a whimpering sound feeling his arms wrapping around her in attempts to comfort her while she was crying. “I know I shouldn’t care and get my hopes up, but I have. I should just tell myself that he is who he is and I shouldn’t expect anything from him.”

“Y/N,” Negan lowered his head to nuzzle his nose against the top of her head, trying to hush her into calming down. “Joel cares very much about you. It’s nothing to do with you, I promise you that.”

“No one likes me here. I have Ellie and I have Joel, but no one could fucking care if I was here. I just exist. And the person I’m with…I don’t know anymore,” she confessed making Negan’s chest ache hearing her having a meltdown before him. “I try to be friendly. I try to get along with everyone. I just don’t fit in anywhere. And with me, he acts completely different than he does when he’s around other people. I have tried so hard with him and it just…it gets me nowhere.”

“People are self-centered Y/N. You shouldn’t care what other people think about you,” Negan declared with a firm shake of his head. “People treated me like shit for as long as I could remember.”

“Everyone loves you here,” Y/N rolled her eyes, pulling back enough to stare Negan over. “And Joel, he is so comfortable with you. With me, he doesn’t let me touch him in public. With you, he laughs. I’ve never heard him laugh like that around me. I’ve never made him smile the way that you have.”

“This sounds so eerily familiar,” Negan confessed, his hands finding their way to his hips when he thought about Joel saying something very much the same to him. “I think both you and Joel are a little lost inside of yourselves and you don’t realize that the both of you feel the same way. There is nothing I’m doing. Joel cares more for you than you could ever imagine. You and Ellie are everything to him.”

“It doesn’t feel that way Negan,” she reasoned with her best friend knowing that he loved Joel too so he was going to say whatever it took to keep both her and Joel happy. “Yesterday, the way I saw him with you and the others, he’s never like that with me. I never make him laugh like that. And you get to put your arm around him, touch him in public. I never get that with him. If I touch him in public he just freezes up and he hates it. Yesterday he was acting like the old him again. Not wanting to show any kind of affection around people in the town. I waited for him to come home at Ellie’s and instead of coming to find me, he went straight to bed. Then this morning he completely forgets what we were supposed to do. I don’t feel special. I just don’t. I don’t know if it’s the people here too that make me feel worse or what. I walked into that powerplant yesterday and not one fucking person cared. It made me think about how I got hurt. I almost died. And no one gives a shit. Everyone was just worried that you almost died saving me. And I know my feelings about Joel make me a bad person because I started this relationship with Joel knowing what he was like, but I was so arrogant that I thought I could make him one way that he’s not capable of being.”

“Listen, we both know that’s not true,” Negan moved forward to place his hands over her shoulders to caress over them in a tender sweep. “We both know that Joel has changed in some ways. He’s tried to be better and do things that he wouldn’t even think of doing in the past. It just takes time and sometimes we all fall. All of us make mistakes.”

Y/N simply nodded and lowered her head, attempting to wipe at the tears over her face making Negan feel bad. Lowering down, Negan reached out to sweep his thumb in over the side of her face to wipe away the tears that were there.

“I tell you what…” Negan began with a long sigh, his thick eyebrows arching up when his lips parted. “Go home, relax a little bit. I have to work, but tonight why don’t you come to my house around five. I will do my best to have a little birthday celebration for you. We’ll have dinner first. It won’t be amazing with as little time as I have to prepare for it, but I will do my best. What do you say?”

“I couldn’t do that to you,” she shook her head letting out a nervous breath when he bit down on his bottom lip and shook his head. “Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure,” he tipped in enough to press a quick kiss over her temple. “I have to get back to work though, okay?”

With a weak smile, she felt Negan squeeze over her shoulder before heading back inside. Doing what Negan suggested, she went home for a while. She took a shower and got herself cleaned up. She did things to keep herself busy until she knew she had to get ready for Negan’s. Part of her thought that she should have brought something to Negan’s for dinner, but what the hell were you supposed to bring someone who already had been given plenty of alcohol and can cook better than anyone in the town?

On her walk over to Negan’s, she knew that she would be early, but she had nervous energy and hoped that if she came over earlier enough maybe she would be able to help Negan with dinner. With a knock on the door, she waited until she heard something knocking over behind the door and it made her smile. Negan pulled the door open with a nervous smile looking back over his shoulder when he shrugged his shoulders, “You’re early.”

“Is that okay?” she inquired watching him pull the door open further for her to come into his house. Negan bent down to pick up some Legos that were on the ground. With a big, cheesy smile Negan looked up at her and snorted.

“I fell on blocks again,” Negan informed her moving over toward the corner of the room where there was a box that he tossed things in. “I hate those fucking things.”

“Something smells good,” she commented making Negan nod and motion her to the kitchen to follow him.

“I was making a white chicken chili and some biscuits with the ingredients I have and could quickly throw together,” Negan headed over toward the stove and when they entered the kitchen, she saw that there were three place sittings at the table. Suddenly, she felt her heart sink when she thought about the third person that would be there with them. Guilt suddenly ate away at her when she thought about what she had done with Negan before. Negan looked back over his shoulder to see Y/N’s face had turned pale and she looked like something horrible had happened to her. “What’s wrong?”

“I should leave. I don’t know what I was thinking,” she announced, hearing Negan calling out to her when she went to head for the door. When he managed to grab her wrist in his hand and pull her to him, she felt like the worst person in the world. “I forgot about Morgan. I forgot that you belong to Morgan and I did what I did with you…”

“Y/N,” Negan snickered, his head shaking when he let out a long shallow breath. “Morgan! Would you come down here please?”

“Negan, no…” she shook her head knowing that it would be the worst possible time to meet someone that was special in Negan’s life. With the sound of footsteps quickly moving down the stairs, Y/N lifted her head and let out a confused exhale when she saw the little girl moving out to Negan. Negan bent down to wrap his arm around Morgan to pull her up into his arms.

“Y/N, this is Morgan…my daughter,” Negan finally introduced the two of them watching the way that Y/N’s thoughts started to spiral inside of her mind and it made Negan shrug his shoulders. “Morgan is my five-year-old daughter.”

“Almost six,” Morgan whispered correcting Negan again on the age making Negan snort before nodding his head about. Morgan reached her hand out making Y/N freeze up when she realized that this whole time she had been incredibly wrong about Morgan and who she was in Negan’s life. How the hell did she not realize that Negan’s Morgan was his daughter? “It’s nice to meet you. Daddy talks about you…all the time.”

“Not all the time,” Negan smirked when he saw Y/N finally accept Morgan’s hand to shake it.

“Most of the time,” Morgan pointed out making a flush of red flood into Negan’s cheeks when he lowered his head getting embarrassed by his daughter. The dimples that accented Morgan’s adorable smile made it hit home even more that the little girl in Negan’s arms was his daughter. If that wasn’t enough, her matching glowing hazel eyes sold it even more. “I wondered if you were real.”

“Hey now,” Negan frowned making Morgan giggle when she hooked her arms around Negan’s shoulders to pull herself in closer to him so she could rest her head against the inside of Negan’s neck.

“Well, you talk about your best friend all the time and I never met her,” Morgan pointed out making Negan chuckle under his breath when a small smirk pressed in over Y/N’s features. “Maybe she was make believe. But now I know she’s pretty and real.”

“That’s sweet,” Y/N noticed the way that Morgan looked to her and smiled brightly. “You’re very pretty yourself.”

“Thank you,” Morgan gave that same big cheesy smile that Negan often gave when something made him happy. Negan reached up to caress his fingers between Morgan’s shoulders and pressed a loving kiss over Morgan’s forehead.

“Why don’t you go finish up what you were doing? Dinner is going to be done soon,” Negan carefully set Morgan down who gave another big smile before heading back upstairs. Negan turned on his heel and he could see that Y/N felt horrible. “I thought I made it pretty clear that Morgan was my daughter. I just could tell that you thought otherwise. Then when Joel mentioned he thought she was my significant other, I realized that must have come from you. I just waited for you to finally realize it. Maybe that makes me a dick, but I got a kick out of it.”

There was a silence that flooded over them and she wanted to say so much, but she didn’t know what to start with. Negan pushed his hands into his pockets and gave her a simple shrug, “You asked what my secret was with Joel, there it is. That’s why he likes to be over here. That’s why he likes to be around me so much. If you look at my daughter and you think back on Sarah, they are remarkably similar. I think it helps Joel relive some of his past memories getting to spend time with my daughter.”

“I can’t believe Joel never told me,” she whispered damning herself for being so blind to things. “Negan, I’m so sorry. I am such a bad fucking friend. I should have known…”

“You were distracted. Which proves my point about Joel,” Negan reached for her wrist to pull her toward the kitchen again. Pulling out a seat for Y/N, he motioned her to sit down so he could talk to her while he still cooked things. “Joel is distracted and he cares about you very much. I like to think that you care about me a significant amount, but you never realized that Morgan was my daughter.”

“I should have put it together. When we talked about you losing your wives and the child…I just assumed you lost your daughter too,” she confessed feeling so incredibly guilty that she had never realized that in all the time she had been close to Negan she never picked up on the fact that Morgan was his daughter. And she knew that he had to have mentioned Morgan being his daughter, but she had to have blocked that part out. “Why do you even like me? I’m a terrible friend.”

“You’re not. You’re just distracted and I realized that,” Negan insisted with a tip of his head when he heard a timer go off and he pulled open the oven to look at the biscuits he was making. “I couldn’t hold it against you because you had so much going on in your life that was overwhelming you.”

“Yeah, but that makes me horrible Negan,” she declared hating that she was so blind to the world around her because she was so lost inside of herself. She was mortified to find out that Morgan was Negan’s child. It should have been obvious the whole time. “I don’t even deserve to be your friend. That makes me a numbskull.”

“No, it makes you someone who was so emotional that they were lost within themselves,” Negan gave her an out, excusing her behavior when he used something to pull out the biscuits from the oven. The sound of footsteps were heard again and Y/N felt her face get hot when Morgan hopped into the chair that he had prepared for her. “There is my beautiful little girl.”

“Daddy was really nervous about this,” Morgan leaned in closer to Y/N so she could gossip about her father with Y/N. It made Negan look back over his shoulder at them and smirk. “When he picked me up from my friend’s house, it was all he could talk about.”

“And why is that?” Negan turned to face his daughter, resting back against the counter when he heard his daughter giggle.

“Because it’s for her birthday?” Morgan tipped her head to the side and her curls bounced when she did it making Y/N smile. Suddenly Morgan’s hazel eyes got wide and she gasped. “Oh! Happy birthday! I made you a card!”

“You made me a card?” Y/N couldn’t help but smile watching Morgan hop out of her chair to run out of the kitchen making Negan snort. “My God Negan, she is so fucking cute.”

“I know,” Negan agreed with Y/N with a shake of his head, his dimples showing that he was proud of his daughter. “I didn’t think I’d be able to make something so damn cute. Yet, there she is. Her mother was gorgeous and so is she. She’s really sweet too. Has a bit of a smartass attitude to her, but she’s mine, so what should I expect?”

“I got it!” Morgan called out making Y/N turn the chair out to her when Morgan held out the folded paper that she had made for her. Y/N accepted the homemade card with a smirk looking at the unicorn that was on the front of it. “Daddy said you liked unicorns, I hope you like it. I’m more of a dinosaur and dragon girl myself.”

“I love this,” Y/N boasted finding herself completely charmed with Negan’s daughter knowing that she was so incredibly happy to be giving her this card that was colored. “I like dragons and dinosaurs too. They are awesome.”

“What’s your favorite dinosaur?” Morgan was so entirely excited to hear that from her and it made Y/N smile. Morgan was a lot like Ellie because Ellie loved dinosaurs too and she could only imagine what those two were like together. Now she understood why Ellie spoke so highly of Morgan. The more she learned, the more ridiculous Y/N felt that she never understood that Morgan was Negan’s daughter. “I like the triceratops.”

“That’s a very good favorite! My favorite…” Y/N thought hard about it before tipping her head to the side. “I think the brachiosaurs is pretty cool.”

“That’s the one with the really long neck, right?” Morgan confirmed with a happy squeal making Y/N laugh before nodding. “It’s so cool! Daddy likes the T-Rex. He does a great impression of it. Daddy…do it.”

“No,” Negan chuckled from where he was standing scooping the chili into the bowls that he had grabbed from the table.

“Daddy come on,” Morgan begged and Y/N turned in her seat staring out at Negan expectantly making him flush over with a bright color of red. “Come on daddy, it’s so funny. Please.”

“I can’t tell you no,” Negan grumbled, pushing the bowls further back on the counter before walking out of the kitchen. It made both of them follow his movements with their eyes. A loud stomping sound was heard making Morgan immediately burst out in laughter before either one of them could even see Negan. Another loud stomp filled the air, followed by another when he finally reached the kitchen. With a boisterous laugh, Y/N couldn’t contain herself seeing that Negan was leaning forward, his arms pulled back. Another loud stomp filled the air when Negan shook his head back and forth before dropping his head back and roaring. It made both of them laugh while Negan moved their chairs, side eyeing back and forth between them before roaring again. Hearing the deep belly laughter from Morgan made Negan stand up straight and shake his head. “Now that I’ve completely embarrassed myself, I’m going to prepare dinner.”

“You shouldn’t be embarrassed, that was great,” Y/N couldn’t help but laugh further when Negan went back to filling the bowls. “You even had the small arms thing going on there.”

“That’s why I like the T-Rex. They think they are the biggest baddest dinosaurs out there and they have these tiny little arms that can’t do shit,” Negan explained making Morgan drop her head and giggle into her arm. It made Negan happy to see that he had both girls laughing, but he knew he was a goof for doing what he did. “You didn’t see the inside of your card yet, did you?”

“No, I haven’t,” Y/N managed to muster enough strength to push aside her laughter to look inside of her card. When she opened it, she could see that it was another drawing of what she assumed to be Negan and Joel.

“Daddy told me that you liked unicorns and that you liked him and Joel,” Morgan slid in closer to Y/N reaching out to point to the drawings that she did. “Can you tell which one is daddy and which one is Joel?”

“Well, I picture the one in the plaid shirt is Joel and the one holding the middle finger up is your dad,” Y/N’s nose wrinkled in amusement seeing Morgan bob her head excitedly with Y/N being able to realize who was who. “This is a beautiful card. It has my three favorite things in it.”

“See, I told you she would like it,” Morgan looked in the direction of Negan who was bringing a bowl and a small plate to the table one at a time setting it before them.

“I do. I love it,” Y/N admitted looking to the card with a proud smile. “I’m going to put it up on my refrigerator when I get home.”

“Do you know Joel’s favorite dinosaur?” Morgan questioned hearing Negan groan out. “What?”

“This one doesn’t stop talking about Joel,” Negan informed Y/N, turning on his heel to circle his finger out at Morgan. “From the moment she met him, all she does is talk about him and Ellie.”

“But they are so cool,” Morgan stressed with her expressive eyebrows making Y/N smirk. “I like the way that Joel talks. And he gets me extra desserts when we have dinner with him!”

“Your boyfriend and Morgan hit it off really well,” Negan finally made it to the table with his food and pulled his chair in closer to the table so he could eat dinner with the two of them. Looking at Morgan, Y/N understood why Joel liked coming over to spend time with Negan as much as possible. Negan wasn’t wrong, Morgan looked so much like a younger version of Sarah and she could see how Joel found comfort in being around her.

“They are best friends. Joel taught her how to skip rocks on the water,” Negan added emphasis to his words making Y/N grin when she realized that there was a sense of jealousy in the way he said that. “I mean daddy knows how to skip rocks, but nope. It’s cooler coming from Joel.”

“Yeah, but Joel showed me how to do it right,” Morgan reasoned with her father reaching for the spoon that was beside her bowl that Negan had set there for her. “Daddy is cool too though. He snuck us a pie for dessert tonight!”

“I did,” Negan looked back over his shoulder at the pie that was on the counter. “I baked an extra one today at work in hopes that you would enjoy it.”

“Your daddy is one of the best bakers here,” Y/N informed Morgan noticing the way that her stomach rumbled with her now smelling the chili that Negan had made for them.

“Oh! That reminds me,” Morgan looked to Y/N with big eyes. “Did you like the cake that daddy made you for your real birthday? We worked so hard on that thing together. Well, I sat here mostly. But I helped talk him through it.”

“You helped plenty,” Negan acknowledged with a wink making Y/N nod. “I couldn’t have stayed awake if you weren’t here to keep me up.”

“True,” Morgan took a big bite of her food that Negan put out for her.

“I loved it. Joel and Ellie thought it was great too,” Y/N answered doing her best not to let out a pleased sound when she took a spoonful of the chili that Negan made. It was incredible how good Negan’s food actually was considering things. “Between your card and your dads cake, I can’t think of two things that made my birthday more special.”

Through dinner and dessert, Morgan spent a lot of time asking Y/N questions about her life. When they got done, they headed downstairs to the basement after Negan insisted they had a night full of ‘fun’ planned for them. When she saw the basement, she instantly understood why Ellie liked coming here. From the video game area to the comics to the pool table and the ping pong table it was definitely a place someone could get lost in for hours. Even with the bar that was set up in the corner, it was certainly a place where someone wouldn’t have to feel like they had to leave in order to have a good time.

First, they played ping pong together where she teamed with Morgan. Then they watched a movie together before they pulled out the game Twister where Morgan had her and Negan playing together while Morgan controlled the spinner.

“You know, this was probably stupid on my end since this is killing my ribs and my shoulder,” Negan announced gazing back at his daughter who seemed to be giggling with the way that him and Y/N were tangled up together on the floor before her.

“Are you quitting?” Y/N looked over her shoulder at Negan who grumbled to himself when Morgan made the next spin.

“Right hand green daddy,” Morgan explained making Negan groan out when he reached across Y/N in attempts to use his hurt arm to stretch out over her. At this point Y/N was underneath Negan and Negan was over her. When Negan managed to get it, Morgan spun it again. “Right foot blue Y/N.”

“Oh come on,” Y/N groaned out hearing Negan snicker when Y/N attempted to do what was instructed of her before falling making Morgan giggle out. Negan had won, but the moment she hit the ground Negan laid down beside her and huffed out loudly. “I remember that being easier as a kid.”

“Lots of things were easier as a kid,” Negan grumbled out with a groan when Morgan hopped in over him and he wrapped his arms tightly around his daughter. “I think you get joy of your daddy getting his ass kicked.”

“You’re just funny,” Morgan acknowledge with a shrug. With a gasp, Morgan clung to Negan’s wrists when he lifted her up above him making her burst out in laughter.

“You know, she laughed just like this when she was a baby. I’d hold her over me and make airplane sounds and she’d just have a hoot.”

“I still do. Now it’s just super Morgan,” Morgan stroke a pose making Y/N burst out in laughter at how much personality Negan’s daughter visibly had. Negan brought her back down to bring her down over his chest to hold her tightly in his arms. “Ellie said she was going to draw a comic of me as a superhero.”

“And I have no doubts that she will. You’d make a striking superhero,” Y/N turned on her side to stare out at Morgan who cuddled closer into Negan. “You have the cutest dimples. You know that?”

“I get them from my dad,” Morgan yawned, cuddling her head in closer to Negan’s chest making Y/N smirk when she realized that Morgan was getting tired.

“Nah, you’re so much cuter than dad is,” Negan stroked his fingers over the back of Morgan’s neck, pressing a quick kiss over her head before laying back on the ground again. “I think you’re falling asleep little one.”

“No, I’m just resting my eyes,” Morgan frowned, cuddling in closer to Negan’s chest. “I don’t want to go to sleep. This is the first time that Y/N is here and I don’t want to miss out on her birthday.”

“If you’re tired honey, you should go to sleep,” Y/N reached out to brush the hair that fell in front of Morgan’s eyes out of it to brush it behind her ear. “I promise you, this won’t be the last time that I come here. Now that I know how things are, I’ll try to come over as much as possible.”

“I guess if you guys want to take me to bed, you can…” she reached up to rub at her eyes making Negan snicker. Negan sat up carefully and Morgan wrapped her arms around Negan’s shoulders. It took a minute for Negan to manage to get up with his daughter in his arms. When he finally did, she cuddled her head in closer to him while he headed for the stairs. Y/N followed them feeling awkward at the idea of being left alone in Negan’s home. They headed upstairs and Negan got Morgan ready for bed. When she was snuggled in, she gave Negan a tired smile. “Tell me a story.”

“What kind of story do you want to hear?” Negan caressed his thumb in over the side of Morgan’s face, glancing back over his shoulder at Y/N from where she was standing in the doorway.

“How about you both tell me a story about a unicorn,” Morgan snickered making Y/N step forward into Morgan’s room when Negan looked to Y/N wondering if she was up for something like that.

“A story about a unicorn? Hmmm…” Negan noticed the way that Y/N knelt in beside Morgan’s bed and Morgan reached out for Y/N’s hand. Y/N accepted it and stroked her thumb over the back of Morgan’s hand. “Once upon a time there was a lonely unicorn. The world was changing all around her and she was the last remaining unicorn.”

“Well that’s sad,” Morgan frowned making Negan smirk, his smile tugging at his lips when Y/N cleared her throat. “It should be a happier story.”

“It was sad, but it gets better. The unicorn had lost her family and she traveled a very long distance before a group of horses accepted her into their family,” Y/N stumbled over her own words, seeing that there was amusement in Negan’s eyes while they tried to come up with a story together. “At first, the unicorn didn’t feel like she belonged in the family of horses because they were all so perfect. It made the unicorn feel even more alone…”

“Until she met the local donkey that the horses had also invited to be in their family,” Negan interrupted making Morgan giggle and Negan made a donkey sound. Lowering down, he nuzzled his nose in against the side of Morgan’s face making her laughter grow louder.

“That donkey was the funniest, sweetest creature she had ever met. He was unique, just like her,” Y/N continued on with their story making Negan’s eyebrow arch up in curiosity. “Unlike the horses that invited her into their home, the donkey made her feel at ease. Like she belonged in the world.”

“Did they fall in love?” Morgan inquired making Negan let out a long exhale.

“No baby, they were just friends. You see, the unicorn fell in love with a stallion that was part of the horse family. The stallion had gone away for some work and when he came back the unicorn was smitten,” Negan responded with a shake of his head. “This stallion was incredible. Handsome. Everyone in the family of the horses looked up to the stallion. He was strong. He took care of the family.”

“But wasn’t the donkey the one that made her feel like she wasn’t alone?” Morgan repeated what they had said making Negan’s jaw lower and he looked to Y/N for her to finish the story in some sense.

“The unicorn loved both the donkey and the stallion,” Y/N responded for Negan with a shake of her head. “You see, the stallion made her happy, but the donkey was the one that brought back the magic that she once had. The donkey was once a unicorn himself, but there was a witch that put a spell on him. Made him think he wasn’t special like the stallion. You see, when the unicorn got her magical powers back, she could see the donkey for what he used to be.”

“Beautiful? Like the other stallion? But even more beautiful because he was a unicorn too?” Morgan looked between the two of them noticing the way that her dad was staring out at Y/N. “Daddy?”

“Yeah. She saw him for who he really was. But there was no way of breaking the curse. The donkey was going to forever be a donkey. There was nothing that could change him back to what he once was,” Negan finished up, leaning forward to nuzzle his nose in against Morgan’s. “But here is the thing, the donkey was happy with that. He wanted what was best for the unicorn.”

“How did he know that he wasn’t what was best for her?” Morgan reached up to rub at her eyes showing that she was getting more tired as it went.

“Because he knew the stallion she was in love with would always protect her and keep her safe,” Negan responded, reaching out to lovingly stroke across the side of Morgan’s face. “And what the unicorn didn’t know was that the stallion she fell in love with actually had unicorn blood in him too. So when they fell in love, they had babies and their babies were unicorns too. So the unicorn was no longer the only unicorn left in the world.”

“That’s cute,” Morgan yawned, lifting up enough to give her father a quick kiss, cuddling the stuffed animal that she had in her arms tighter after. “But I think the donkey deserved to be happy too.”

“The donkey was happy,” Negan whispered, leaning in to press a kiss over Morgan’s forehead. “Goodnight baby.”

“Goodnight,” Morgan gave a tired smile before looking to Y/N. “It was nice to meet you Y/N. I’m glad daddy has a friend like you.”

“I’m glad that I have a friend like your daddy,” Y/N admitted standing up from where she was knelt, waiting for Negan to finish talking to Morgan before following him. When they made it back downstairs together, Negan shoved his hands into his pockets and shrugged. “You want to talk for a few?”

“If that’s what you want,” Negan motioned her to follow him back downstairs, closing the door behind him when the headed back down. She sat down on the couch and he dropped down beside her. “Thank you for being so good with Morgan.”

“She’s adorable,” Y/N stated with a shrug of her shoulders letting out a tense breath while she gazed over at Negan. “So tell me donkey, what was it that made you like the unicorn to begin with? Because as far as I can tell, this unicorn his very self-centered and kind of a shit.”

“Nah, you’re not,” Negan shook his head letting out a snorting sound. “I don’t know if you remember the first time we met. The first thing you ever did was correct me. Thing was, you were wrong and I thought it was cute as hell. You were so confident you were right, I didn’t have it in me to tell you that you were wrong. So I just agreed with you and let you think I listened to you. You were just too cute and determined for me to tell you that you were wrong.”

“Come on, that’s not true,” she laughed making Negan shake his head. “Why would you do that?”

“I didn’t have it in me to tell you that you were wrong. So I just ran with it and then after that day I was so charmed by you that I kept harassing you every time I saw you,” Negan reminded her with a long, extended sigh. “The first time we really hung out was at that movie. Morgan was with her friend, so I came over and sat next to you. I stole your popcorn.”

“God, I thought you were so rude,” she chuckled resting her head against Negan’s shoulder while they talked about their history together.

“Yet you still continued to share your popcorn with me,” Negan thought back, cuddling his head in next to hers. “After that day, we both just kept annoying each other. I was smitten with you. Do you remember that party that we went to together? It was a few weeks before Joel showed back up with Ellie?”

“Vaguely,” she lifted her head up after she heard Negan snort. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, the two of us ended up drinking. A lot,” Negan recalled, his eyes searching hers when she sat up straighter. “I’m bigger than you so it didn’t fuck me up as much as it did you. You kept telling me how good looking you thought I was. Asked me to take you home.”

“I don’t remember this at all,” she confessed, her eyebrows furrowing when Negan nodded his head.

“I figured as much. As soon as I walked you home, you jumped into my arms and you were desperately trying to get me to sleep with you,” Negan informed her, dragging his tongue out over his bottom lip. “I mean we were sitting on the couch together and you crawled in over me. You dry humped the shit out of me.”

“Oh come on,” she was obviously having a hard time believing him making Negan shake his head. “I did not.”

“Oh you did. I was trying to get you to relax and you just kept rubbing up against me. I was surprised you didn’t make me come in my pants since I hadn’t been with someone in so long,” Negan confessed making her let out an embarrassed sound when she dropped her head into her palms. “I convinced you it wasn’t good to sleep together that night since you were so drunk. You still asked me to stay with you and I told you I couldn’t because of Morgan. That was the first night I told you about my daughter. So I took you to bed and walked home with this incredibly raging hardon.”

“Negan,” she scoffed making Negan chuckle at her response. “The sad thing is, I think I remember you mentioning Morgan because that’s when I started to think she was your significant other. I just didn’t remember the rest of any of that.”

“Oh well, after that day I thought maybe you were uncomfortable trying to hook up with a single father because you acted like that day didn’t happen. At all,” Negan informed her with a long sigh, shrugging his shoulders. “Which is fine. I know single fathers aren’t for everyone. That’s a lot of baggage for someone to take on. And then when Joel came back to town and all you could talk about was Joel, I knew that the two of us were never going to be anything more than best friends.”

“Jesus,” she brushed her fingers through her hair hating to hear that she made such an ass of herself in the past. “I swear, I didn’t even make a move on you because I thought Morgan was your girlfriend. I even told Joel when I first met him that you weren’t even an option because you were taken. I was so fucking attracted to you, but that night when you told me about Morgan I told myself that I couldn’t be with you.”

“Ah, I see,” Negan got more comfortable on the couch again. “Regardless, you were meant to be with Joel anyways. So it’s good that things ended up the way that they did.”

“If that was supposed to be how things are, why is it that you make me feel better than Joel does?” she pushed making Negan turn his head to look at her. “I feel horrible Negan. You and Morgan helped me smile today and laugh. But I am in so much pain that I can’t even explain it. You’re the only person that alleviates that pain for me.”

“Y/N,” Negan sighed out feeling her leaning forward to pepper faint kisses over his jawline. “Please…I love you. This isn’t fair.”

“You love me and Joel. I love you and Joel,” she whispered kissing down over the side of Negan’s neck. Caressing her hand in over Negan’s thigh, she tested the waters when she caressed up and over the center of Negan’s pants. “You were so much more than I thought you were. Seeing you tonight with your daughter makes me realize you are perfect Negan. Watching you be an incredible father to her makes me swoon more than you will ever know. I’m sorry I didn’t see things sooner…”

“Y/N,” Negan’s breathing got louder when she worked open his belt with one hand, her other hand grabbing a firm hold of his jaw to get him to look at her with his heavy-lidded stare.

“You should at least let me repay you for those blue balls that I left you with,” she whispered, skimming her lips in over Negan’s when she managed to get his slacks parted enough for her to snake her hand beneath the material. Curling her fingers around his shaft, she felt the warmth of his lips hovering over hers and she could tell that there was tension in Negan’s body when she started caressing over his flesh. “Please Negan…make me feel better.”

“It’s only going to be temporary,” Negan faintly brushed his lips over hers and she could tell that he was doing everything in his power to hold back. “I want you to be happy. And whatever could happen right now, it would only be a temporary feel better because of how things are.”

“Please,” she begged of him, letting out a whimper when Negan claimed her lips with his. Each stroke of his lips over hers was passionate, his fingers stroking over the side of her face leaving her breathless when he pulled away.

“Stand up,” Negan growled against her lips, nipping faintly at her bottom lip. Tipping her head to the side, she didn’t know where he was headed when she pulled her hand from his pants and slowly stood to her feet. Sliding to the edge of the couch, Negan wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her in closer to him. Negan’s big hazel eyes gazed up at her before he deposited a kiss over her abdomen. “Are you sure?”

“I am,” she breathed out feeling Negan’s fingers brushing up underneath the material of her shirt. His rough fingertips grazed over the flesh of her abdomen making her eyes come to a tight close. Pushing the material up, Negan’s lips brushed over the area beneath her navel making her hum in appreciation. Sinking her fingers into his hair, she tipped her head while he took his time peppering hot, wet kisses over her lower abdomen toward the top of her pants. Stretching his hand out, Negan dragged his palm down the length of her abdomen before reaching the top of her pants to unhook the material. It seemed like Negan paused to think about things before looking up at her again. Stroking her thumb over his bottom lip, Negan parted his lips and took it into his mouth nibbling faintly at the pad of it. “It’s okay.”

Taking those words as encouragement, Negan worked to pull the material down her body helping her step out of it. It surprised her how much she was genuinely shaking while Negan dragged his hands up and over the outsides of her legs toward her thighs, “Take your shirt off.”

Listening to him, Y/N shakily reached for her shirt to tug it from her body before dropping it with her jeans. The way that Negan looked at her made a chill run through her veins. There was something in the way that his eyes looked at her that made her feel incredibly seen and wanted. With a swallow loud enough for Negan to hear, she felt his fingers hooking at the top of her panties before pulling them down with ease. Negan’s mouth followed the movement of her panties, kissing down over her leg before allowing her to step out of the material.

“You are so fucking beautiful,” Negan slurred, his words vibrating against her flesh when he started kissing back up over her leg toward her inner thigh.

Closing her eyes tightly, she felt Negan’s large palms caressing over her hips before pulling her closer to him. A shuddering breath fell from her throat when she felt the warmth of his breath etch over her before his tongue dragged out over the length of her sex making her gasp. Almost instinctively, her fingers hooked into Negan’s salt and pepper colored hair while he pressed wet kisses over the most intimate parts of her body. It had her heart hammering inside of her chest with his talented tongue caressing over her body followed by wet sucking, kissing motions. It had her pants filling the air while his fingers caressed over the backs of her thighs. Dropping her head, she admired how passionate Negan seemed to be in pleasuring her while the long strokes of his tongue traced over her. His lips circled her clitoris, sucking faintly varying between his tongue and his mouth. It had her shaking and bucking her hips in closer to him while he pleasured her doing exactly what she asked of him. He was making her feel better.

Clasping tightly to Negan’s shoulders, she could feel her legs shaking with what he was doing making him pull back with a wet sound. Tipping his head back, he licked his lips using his thumb to stroke over her sensitive bundle of nerves making her whimper out.

“Sit down,” Negan instructed, helping her into position when he knelt before her on the ground. Pulling her closer to the edge of the couch, he carefully placed her right leg over his shoulder. Stroking his fingers over the length of her sex, Negan’s eyes raised to hers and he smirked when she arched her hips in closer to him. “You’re not at all enjoying this, are you?”

With a whine, she saw the wicked smirk that he gave her before circling his fingers over her entrance. Inserting one finger made her let out a whimper when he lowered his head back between her thighs. His mouth and tongue focused heavily on her clitoris when he added a second finger and thrusted his fingers inside of her at the same tempo his tongue made over her.

“Negan,” she cooed out his name, snaking her fingers into his hair again to hook tightly into it. Her moans along with the wet sounds he made while pleasuring her surrounded them. It didn’t take long before he had her a shaking mess before him. Knowing that she was close, the strong strokes of his tongue over her body continued and his hazel eyes raised to watch her when she dropped her head back. A cry escaped her when her body shook against his face, her fingers pulling him closer to her while he continued to pleasure her through her orgasm. With his long fingers inside of her, hitting all the right spots she was left breathless when he finally pulled his mouth away from her. “Jesus.”

Pressing faint kisses over her thigh, Negan growled and nipped at her flesh before leaning back on his knees, “Did that make you feel better?”

“We’re getting close,” she muttered feeling an ache in her head when she reached for Negan’s shirt to pull him up from the ground to make him stumble in beside her. Being careful didn’t matter to her when she eagerly worked to get Negan’s pants down his hips. A deep rumble of a groan fell from his throat when his solid cock sprung free from the material showing how much he truly enjoyed pleasuring her. Lowering herself in over his lap, her fingers hooked around the base of his cock before she started pressing faint kisses at the swollen tip.

“You don’t have to…” Negan moaned out, dropping his head back when the warmth of her mouth surrounded him taking him back into her throat. Tensing up beneath her, Negan didn’t know where to put his hands while she dragged her tongue out over the underside of his cock on her pull back before circling her tongue around the sensitive tip. “Fucking hell Y/N…”

Stroking his fingers through her hair, Negan knew that it had been so long since someone had done this for him and it had him melting in the palm of her hand. With her head bobbing over his length, Negan caressed over her shoulders and licked his lips knowing that he should have stopped her, but his heart was hammering inside of his chest. It felt like the room was spinning around him with the wet sounds she made while she gave him a blowjob.

“Fuck…,” Negan moaned out drawing a chill to flood her body at the sounds he made. It was so rare that Joel was a verbal lover, so having Negan being like this was unlike anything she was used to with Joel and she liked it. Pulling her mouth away from his body, she caressed her saliva over the length of his girthy shaft. Pressing wet kisses over the sensitive tip, she could hear Negan’s breathing growing louder. Pulling her grasp away, she felt brazen in the moment when she stood up from the couch and worked to get Negan’s pants from his long legs. Reaching for his shirt, she could feel tension in his movements after she deposited the material and then unhooked her bra so they were both naked before one another. “Y/N, I don’t…”

“It’s okay,” she hushed Negan crawling in over his lap making his long eyelashes flutter. His wet lips parted and she placed her hand in over the center of his chest to brace herself. “I know it’s been a long time, but I promise not to hurt you…”

“You can’t promise something like that,” Negan responded with a groan when her lips skimmed over his and she reached between the two of them to caress over his rigid length. “I need to know that this is what you want…”

“It is,” she pressed faint kisses over his lips, enjoying the grasp that Negan’s hands had over her hips. Just the way he looked at her made her feel incredible when she adjusted over his lap even further. Leading his tip to her entrance, she traced it back and forth over her wet length making him moan out. There was a nervous tension in Negan’s body that excited her all the more when she finally started to lower herself over his length making the both of them let out a moan in unison. Pressing her forehead to his, she enjoyed the way his arm hooked around her hips when she took him further into her. It was a sweet, stretching feeling that made her feel incredibly full. Negan’s other hand was caressing up and over her hip when his lips claimed hers in a desperate kiss that was so full of passion that it took her breath away. “Negan!”

Taking her time, she hooked her arms around Negan’s shoulders and brought them closer together as she started to slowly lift her hips up toward his tip before lowering down. Each movement was careful while she got accustomed to him inside of her. It was amazing how connected she felt to Negan during this moment with his hand palming up over her body to caress in over her jawline.

“I love you,” Negan breathed out making her heart hammer inside of her chest. Having this incredibly cocky, arrogant man beneath her being so passionate and loving had her swooning more than she should have ever been but she couldn’t help herself. With time her movements became more confident, her fingers sinking into Negan’s hair while they kissed. It felt like Negan wanted to keep a connection between them while she rocked her hips over his taking his cock into her time and time again.

“I love you too,” she purred against his lips, her cries becoming more frequent when her movements grew in strength over him. Bracing her hands over Negan’s shoulders, she purred when Negan dropped his head down to press kisses over her breasts with his hands cupping softly at her flesh. Having Negan filling her repeatedly drove her crazy with how good it felt with him inside of her while she attempted to quicken their movements making Negan groan out against her flesh. “You feel so good inside of me.”

Gasping out, she felt Negan rolling her over onto her back making her heart pound inside of her chest when Negan rest on his knees above her. It made her throat go dry seeing his slender abdomen contracting and relaxing while he gazed over her. Curling his arm around her waist, Negan adjusted her so she was more comfortably laid out on the couch before lowering carefully in over her, his nose nuzzling in against hers.

Looking between them, she saw Negan stroking over his length, leading himself back toward her entrance. With a wince, she tipped her head back feeling him entering her at an agonizingly slow pace. It made her lips part and Negan’s mouth hovered over hers. Whimpers fell from her throat when Negan started to roll his hips back and forth drawing the length of his cock inside of her in addictive motions leaving her wanting more.

“You know…” she nibbled at Negan’s bottom lip, stroking her fingers over the lengths of Negan’s back. One of her hands cupped his small bottom enjoying the way his muscles flexed and relaxed underneath her touch. “You read like the dominant daddy type that will fuck you until you are screaming his name, but you’re so fucking romantic.”

“I can be both,” Negan smiled against her lips, his forehead pressing against hers while she purred beneath him with him working to build a tempo between them. “But you deserve to be made love to. Because you are so fucking gorgeous. And maybe I’m a romantic at heart…”

“I couldn’t tell,” she moaned out feeling a rush to her head when Negan angled his hips a certain way leaving the tip of his cock to rub against her g-spot continually making her cling tightly to him. “Fuck Negan…please…please don’t stop…”

“Yes ma’am,” Negan rumbled his hips smacking up against hers using the same strength that he was using previously. Her nails bit into his shoulders making his deep, raspy moan fill the area surrounding her. With a wail, she claimed his mouth with hers knowing that she needed to silence herself since his daughter was sleeping upstairs. Shaking, she found the friction of his groin rubbing up against her adding to the sensation that was building up inside of her. When her next orgasm flooded through her, she pressed her hand into Negan’s abdomen to get him to stop when she cried out against the side of his neck.

“Fuck, fuck…” she bit down on her bottom lip knowing that if she sounded like she wanted to she might wake up Morgan and that was the last thing she wanted. There was a proud sound that fell from Negan’s throat while he kissed at the side of her neck allowing her to take the breather that she needed. “You don’t have sex like someone who has been celibate for five years.”

“Should I apologize for that?” Negan chuckled, his thumb and index finger clasping her jaw in his grasp so he could bring her lips to his.

“Never apologize for…that,” she purred out against the kiss feeling like the world was still spinning around her. Pushing her hand into the center of Negan’s chest, she adjusted their bodies so that she was in over him. Crawling in over Negan, she rest her knees at his sides and enjoyed the way it felt to have him caressing up and over her body in awe while he laid stretched out beneath her. “You amaze me.”

“In a good way I hope,” Negan stammered when she reached for his cock again to bring them back together. It made his lips part when she braced her hands over his chest and confidently rolled her hips over his taking her time to enjoy the feeling of him being inside of her left her with. Negan’s palms caressed up and over her back before cupping her breasts in his large hands. “You are so fucking beautiful.”

“Negan,” she gasped when he pulled himself up into a seated position, curling his arm around her waist to help her control her motions over him. Bringing their mouths together, Negan kissed her passionately while she purred against his kiss knowing that she was already so incredibly sensitive after the two orgasms he had already given her.

“Fuck…” Negan bit down on his bottom lip when he pulled his head back to look between them watching her taking his cock again and again inside of her. His body started to tense up, the muscles in his abdomen flexing when he panted. “I’m going to come…”

“Good…” she brushed her tongue in over his feeling the throbbing of his erection inside of her while she bounced her hips over his more enthusiastically hoping to get him to the same high that he had gotten her to multiple times tonight.

Their breathing became uneven, their kisses more desperate and demanding when he moaned out. Negan’s fingers dug into her hips when the first line of his cum spilled out inside of her making her purr out with the warmth it left her with. Powerfully bouncing her hips over his length, she didn’t miss a beat in continuing to ride him and when the sensation of his thumb connecting with her clitoris was felt she purred out into his mouth. Negan’s tongue brushed over hers while her fingers hooked into his wet hair. With a whimper she felt her body shake over Negan and she dropped her head in over his shoulder after she came.

Holding her in his arms, Negan stroked his fingers over her shoulders and she couldn’t believe how comfortable and at ease she actually felt in his arms. Even the way he was holding her was incredibly romantic. Each kiss that was placed over her neck made her whimper out knowing that being with Negan felt better than she could have ever imagined.

“I love you so much,” Negan covered her lips with his, his tongue brushing out against hers before she lowered her head to cuddle it in against the center of his chest. Laying back, Negan brought her with him so she could lay in over him. The sensation of him going soft inside of her was something she enjoyed while she stroked her fingers through the thick curls of hair over the center of his chest. It took a minute for Negan to gather himself but as she pressed a kiss over the side of his neck it made him let out a nervous exhale. “This isn’t going to change our relationship, is it? I can’t lose you. I just can’t.”

“Of course you won’t lose me,” she assured him, tracing over the tattoo that covered Negan’s pectoral muscle. Kissing at his chest, she bit at his nipple making him hiss out when she looked up to him with her bright eyes. “I can’t live without you.”

“Promise?” Negan stammered and he looked genuinely concerned now that they had slept together that he would lose her from his life.

Crawling further up, she pressed loving kisses over Negan’s lips enjoying the way his arm curled around her waist in a protective manner, “I promise.”

----

Humming a song to herself, Ellie headed for the front door of Joel’s home assuming that he would be gone for the day with Y/N for her birthday. After spending a day with her friends, Ellie was hoping to come home and grab herself something to eat from Joel’s place before heading to bed. Entering Joel’s house, Ellie let out a surprised sound when she looked down to see that there were flower petals on the ground making her tip her head to the side. Pulling the headphones that she had on slowly from her head, she cleared her throat and found herself confused.

The sound of a guitar being strummed filled the air and she walked into the living room to see that Joel was sitting on the couch with his guitar in his lap. When the sound of her walking in was heard, she saw Joel lift his head up and she threw her hands up in the air, “What the fuck Joel? I’m gonna guess I’m not the one you were expecting? Where the fuck is Y/N?”

“Uhm, I think I fucked up,” Joel explained with a loud swallowing sound, his dark eyes upset when he pointed over toward the kitchen. “I’m clearly not good with surprises. This morning, I woke up and I told Y/N that I was leaving for the day to be with Tommy on a run. I asked Maria to come and snag Y/N during the middle of the day so she wasn’t here while I set this up. And uh…she’s never come home.”

“I’m sorry, you told her what?” Ellie pushed at the flower petals that were on the floor and she grunted to herself. “These are going to be a bitch to get up Joel.”

“I acted like I didn’t remember it was the day I was supposed to celebrate her birthday. I told her that I was leaving for the whole day and I wouldn’t be back until tomorrow,” Joel confessed, strumming at the guitar that was in his arms before carefully setting it aside. “So I think I really fucked up and upset her because she’s never come back home.”

“Well why the hell would you say that? Of course you upset her you idiot,” Ellie noticed the way that Joel glared up at her, the wrinkles in his forehead growing. “Why would you even pretend that you didn’t remember?”

“I was trying to get her out of the house so I could set all this up…” Joel swirled his finger around and Ellie took a look to see that there were candles lit all around the living room making Ellie wonder how long he had this whole thing up. “I thought it would surprise her more if she thought that I wasn’t here.”

“You likely crushed her Joel,” Ellie pushed making Joel huff loudly before brushing his fingers through his hair. “You forget her birthday. Then you promise her this big grand day and you end up telling her that you are leaving acting like you forgot. Where in that brain of yours did you think that was a good idea?”

“I was nervous and I probably wasn’t thinking clearly,” Joel admitted standing up from the couch and reaching for something from his pocket to hand it over to Ellie.

“What is this?” Ellie looked to the small box that was in her hand and she opened it seeing the ring that was inside and Ellie threw her head about. “Joel, is this what I fucking think this is?”

“Yeah, I was going to ask her to marry me,” Joel threw his hand around in the air making Ellie let out a shocked breath. “I had a song where I planned to tell her that I loved her and I grabbed that ring weeks ago. I just was gathering my nerves in order to do it. I was going to give her the guitar after I sang to her. I was hoping to have her turn the other way and when she turned…”

“Joel, you idiot,” Ellie moved across the living room to hit her father figure in the chest hearing him grunt. Closing up the box she tossed it back to him and reached up to press her hand in over her forehead. “There were so many ways to get her out of the house. Ask me to take her somewhere. Say you had to go run to work really quick. If you were planning to ask her to marry you, she should have been pampered from start to finish. Not made to believe that she wasn’t important enough to remember, again.”

“I thought it would make her happier when she came back to see that I was actually here and I didn’t forget,” Joel reasoned with Ellie, dropping back on the couch with a loud sigh. Reaching up, he stroked down and over the side of his face. “Apparently, I was very fucking wrong.”

“You think?” Ellie headed over toward the other end of the couch to drop down on the couch with him. “Damn it, Joel.”

“I know,” Joel huffed, throwing his hands about. “All I can do is wait and hope to apologize whenever she gets here because I fucked up. I fucked up bad.”

----

Tags: @jennydehavilland​ @de-gabyconamor​ @ibelongtonegan​ @smallsadjellyfish​ @labyrinthofheartagrams​  @msjamesmarch​ @thebeautysurrounds​ @hotfornegan​ @redmercysugar​ @caprithebunny​ @tuttifuckinfruitty​ @emoryhemsworth​ @a-girl-interupted​ @akumune​ @stoneyggirl2​ @xsarcasticwriterx​  @insertneganhere​ @haleygreen23​ @xhannahbananax03​ @sanctuaryforthelost​ @burningredaffair​ @killaweiser​ @dead-of-niight​  @ayumi-wolf​ @hollyismentallyillhelp​ @tone-stark​ @chloepricerk800 @thesapphirequeen​  @wonwoosthetic​ @misskittydenoire​ @casangel1986​

#Jeffrey Dean Morgan #Negan #Joel Miller #Pedro Pascal #negan x reader #joel miller x reader #The Last of Us #The Walking Dead #negan fanfiction #joel miller fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #twd fanfiction #negan x you #joel miller x you

[taki118]

Some tips for Ace/Aro characters in fandom

I've been seeing this discourse again and I dunno I kinda wanna scream my opinions into the void as an older asexual who just tired of this.

There's this weird thought that if a character is Ace/Aro its like you can't ship the character or do sexy things with them and thats not really true, its entirely dependent on the character and you just need to offer them some more thought/care than you would an Allo character/relationship.

(Also you people saying you can't ship this cause one character is ace/aro and totally not cause it directly competes with your preferred ship I see you you ain't sneaky, trying to act holier than thou nonsense)

So you got an Ace/Aro cannon character and are wondering if it's ok to ship them, well here's a question has the character expressed a strong desire to NOT be in a relationship? If yes then yeah don't ship them. IF however their opinion has not been revealed or if they just seem passive then go right ahead you aren't going against the character and plenty of Ace/Aro people do want partnerships.

Now you might be thinking "Oh so I can just do what I normally do with my ships right?" Mhhmmmmm maybe there are aspects to Ace/Aro relationships that don't differ from Allo relationships but there are more that do. You need to really look at your character and how they approach things much more carefully than you would an Allo if you don't want to erase their Ace/Aro-ness. Example say the character is rather touch adverse you shouldn't then depict them clinging to another character instead show affection in tinier ways or show that they are doing this despite their discomfort for the other character.

Another thing to avoid is focusing too much on the relationship, if you go too hard on the not having an interest before this person it can come off like they "Fixed" their ace/aro-ness and kinda borderlines a fetishy area. Avoid statements like "I never felt this way until you" and go for something more casual like "It doesn't matter to me but you do"

And here's the part people really care about ughhhhh sex. Yes Ace/Aro people can have sex some even want sex so depicting an Ace/Aro character doing sexy things isn't necessarily erasure again so long as you depict it with CARE. Again if the character in question has directly stated they are sex repulsed for all that is holy do NOT have them have sex unless you put in a LOT of work into (aka not for those new to this) But if the character is more disinterested then you can have them do sexy things so long as it doesn't cause like a seismic shift in how they view sex, don't make it "Wow this is amazing I never knew" and lean more towards "It wasn't so bad with you" Again it all comes down to the character themselves so like pay attention.

Also try to avoid the who innocent bean thing like they aren't interested therefor they know NOTHING about sex, like yes it depends on the character but if you do this too much and too like cutesy it can come off like a virgin fetish or infantilizing.

Finally yes you can depict Ace/Aro characters in sexy ways (this is more for Ace characters but I wanna cover my bases with people) but again it depends on the character some aces like to look and feel sexy they just don't like sex and others don't want to be sexualized at all, for others its a case by case bases, again if it is something the character would do or hasn't said anything its fair game.

There's no way this covers everything really what important is just learning about Ace/Aro people and putting just a little more effort in when handling them. You can still have fun with them, still ship them, being Ace/Aro is not the death sentence some in fandom make it out to be, it can even lead to different and fun dynamics you hadn't considered or explored before.

#ace #aro #ace/aro #asexual #aromantic #fandom #shipping #writing advice

[phosphorusab]

Things that I liked about Ricky Potts being an explicitly disabled character (because rewriting him as able bodied with curable PTSD, because people don’t want to see/work with real disabled people onstage is fucking stupid)

1. Him being disabled should’ve been an opportunity for other disabled actors, who often don’t get a chance to shine in big roles. It’s also kinda weird to suggest that one’s disabilities will disappear when they go to the afterlife, as if they wouldn’t be allowed in if they didn’t. Karnak letting Ricky speak/sing was important, but removing his crutches/wheelchair is just erasing the fact that Ricky was disabled in his life.

(Also, when Karnak was going over Ricky’s life, I’m pretty sure the characters casted as Ricky’s parents made random hand gestures instead of actual ASL or LSQ. I find it bizarre that the Potts family would just make up a whole new language, rather than learn ASL/LSQ with Ricky when he lost his ability to speak.)

I could totally see some really creative and neat choreography with crutches or a wheelchair. Hell, Glee fucking did that with an able bodied actor. There are literally people who do dancing tricks with crutches out there, why can’t they do that on stage? It honestly shows a lack of creativity.

2. While all the other Ricky’s were very talented, there was a big difference between how Yannick Mirko portrayed him and how the able bodied Ricky’s did. I noticed that some of the able bodied Ricky’s portrayed him as very nervous, soft spoken, passive and genteel, almost to the point of woobiefication.

Yannick Mirko’s Ricky was none of those things. His Ricky was very sassy and charismatic (which makes sense for Space Age Bachelor Man, now that he got to express his thoughts out loud) and did not take any shit from Ocean.

3. Speaking of Ocean, I think that Ricky being disabled really showed Ocean’s true colors- casual cruelty and literal eugenicist ideals in What The World Needs (Ocean is arguably the character who goes through the most growth in the show).

Ocean is a character that pretends she’s all woke and stuff, but her core philosophy is social Darwinism. Her song demonstrated to the audience that she was not only better than the rest of her peers, but that she was the only choir member fit enough to live. In the song, Ocean mentions that Ricky didn’t deserve to survive the crash because of his (in the original script) degenerative disease, so reviving him would be a waste.

Despite her true feelings about how her life should be prioritized over Ricky because he was disabled, she made a big deal about adding him to the choir despite his mutism, using him as a prop to make the choir look more “inclusive”.

She also constantly infantilizes Ricky for being disabled, and was at first disgusted that “sweet little Ricky Potts” had sexual desires and enjoyed porn. One thing I noticed when Yannick Mirko was Ricky, is that he visibly did not like Ocean, unlike the Ricky’s of the past who seemed to be afraid of her. Mirko’s Ricky would give Ocean attitude, talk back to her- and I remember this one moment where Ocean pushed Ricky around in his wheelchair without asking, causing Ricky to be visibly irked and freaked out.

Ocean is always shown to be in the wrong. So the lesson the audience *should* learn from her is to not treat disabled people as a burden on others and to not infantilize them, they are adults with the same needs, interests and sexual desires as able bodied people.

4. Yannick Mirko being cast as Ricky should have set a positive precedent for other disabled actors. Instead, it seemed like the opposite happened. It just goes to show how shallow and cruel the theatre world is to disabled actors. As an actor with a chronic illness that causes lots of pain and fatigue, I can do literally everything my able bodied castmates can do- I just would need some accommodations and support. I’ve had that before, it’s literally not that hard to be accommodating. But some people see people with a health issue and think that they are such a burden to work with.

A new layer of irony has been added to Ocean’s line, “Accessibility for All 🥺”.

And it really stings.

#ride the cyclone #ricky potts #ocean oconnell rosenberg #the amazing karnak #save ricky potts #yannick mirko

[skzoologist]

Hi!

Congratulations on your bolg and your success!

You deserve the whole world! Thanks for running this blog, your writing really gives me a lot. Your style and the feelings you convey are all so beautiful.

The event you created is like a big, wholesome hug from you to us. Thank you!

Okay. so back to business. My request from you: "May we meet again." This sentence means a lot to me because of "the 100" series (ILOVEDIT). In the series, this phrase was said when they said goodbye to each other, so I'd like to see what you think of this phrase among the members. I don't want to define the genre, in my eyes it's up to you. You are doing a great job in everything as I went through your blog. Maybe a ghost AU? It seems interesting to me. And pls interact with these characters: Bae, Hyunjin, Minho, Jisung, Seungmin, Changbin. I'd love to see everyone, but you said it's harder when you have a lot of characters to work/think with, so I tried to pick a few, pls don't hate me for my choice.

So yeah thanks if you write it.

Kind regards

word count: ~2.8k

warnings: it's angst, so be prepared

genre: heavy angst

a/n: You have no clue how much this means to me. Are you sure you meant to send this to me, and not someone else? I am undeserving of these nice words, because these are all I ever wanted to hear. 'You deserve the whole world' is something I use for people I love or look up to, so it means so, so much to me. And the fact that you feel like this event is a warm hug from me? It makes everything all a little better. While I haven't watched that series yet (might after your words about it), your request spawned something far more than a small drabble in my mind. It could outgrow itself even more, if there is need for it in the future. There is also some Bae lore hidden in it, and I hope you'll enjoy it. And don't worry about your choices about the members, I love all of them and would never judge you. I wrote that 'gets hard to write the more members there are' so someone wouldn't request like, every member of two whole bands. An OT8 request? I can do that with pleasure. This note turned long and I apologise, I just want to thank you for taking part in the event and for liking what I do, and may we meet again 💜

Please let me know if I left a warning or anything out, I will add it in! Reblogs, likes and feedback are greatly appreciated!

!I don't condone anyone stealing my work and posting it anywhere without my permission, or feeding it to AI!

!This is just fiction, my interpretation of Stray Kids. By no means is this how they are and how they behave in real life!

‘Your departure was so sudden.

It took every one of us by surprise, and in the worst way possible. I still remember to this day your gentle smiles, the ones that barely curved your lips, or the ones that stretched so far your eyes turned into twinkling little crescents. I loved the way you cutely pouted whenever something you were looking forward to got cancelled, or when we teased you a bit too much. Your skin would flush a warm shade, the colour of strawberries, something you never failed to share with us, despite how much you liked them.

Now all of those are gone, only living in our memories, fated to be faded and erased.

Poof, just like that.

The day we found you was supposed to be one of celebration. Everything was going perfectly, the final day of the tour ending with a bang and the loud cheering of our fans. We were all so happy, and you looked so happy too. Your eyes shined with that pride you loved to look at the members with, and just the memory itself causes my chest to play a bittersweet melody.

After the lights dimmed and we were off the stage, the excitement carried us to the rooms at the back, to have a feast filled with laughter.

You were only supposed to grab some drinks.

Instead we found your unmoving body on the floor in a dark room, as if you hid yourself away in your final moments so we wouldn’t have to witness them.

The days bled together after that. None of us was the same. Some of us lived in denial, while some struggled to accept reality, desperately wishing this was all a bad dream.

It sure felt like it. As if we lived in a hellish timeline, where we failed to notice the signs early and give you proper medical help. We should have seen it coming, with how frequent your migraines were getting.

But we failed.

Our leader just holed himself in, burying himself under mountains of work, uselessly hoping it would distract him. The music he’d created was proof that he failed. Our second oldest turned cold, impossibly so, the playfulness killed out of him. I think it died along with you, something I cannot fault him for to this day. Hyunjin stopped laughing, spending most of his time in his room. One day I stole a glance inside, and it was filled with portraits of you. I haven’t looked into his room ever since.

The young ones took it harder than us, and it was so easy to tell. Jisung was rewatching your favourite shows constantly, either by himself or one of us, as if our presence somehow mimicked yours. Felix… Felix tried the hardest to stay cheerful. He tried to smile and joke around, but eventually, he broke down and fell apart. I miss his brownies. Seungmin became more stoic, if that was even possible. His voice is harsh and critical, not only towards us, but himself as well. Our maknae seems lost all the time, now that you aren’t here to guide him. Sometimes I catch him turning to the side after he’s struggling with something, only to realise you aren’t there to give advice and help.

Me?

I’m the fragile thread that’s trying to keep us together, but hyung…it’s really hard.

I miss you so much.’

The sound of paper turning broke the silence, a new set of pages filled with ink ready to be read.

‘We are doing better now, at least I think.

Chan hyung occasionally leaves his studio, looking like death itself, but… at least we see him now. He also fell back into his leader duties, keeping us in check and making sure we get enough rest, despite not resting enough himself. I’m grateful for it, as I could take a little breather myself this way, but I still have to take care of him, as no one else is capable of it right now. Minho hyung is still distant, but he is slowly returning to his old, playful self. Although he still doesn’t get handsy with us, like he used to. Hyunjin hasn’t made a lot of progress, the light still missing from his eyes. But at least he can be coaxed out of his room for a movie night, a big progress in itself.

Jisung turned overly clingy, as if he was afraid we would suddenly disappear as well. And while Minho was keeping his distance, Jisung was the only one he let latch onto him, hushing the boy amidst another breakdown. Felix seemed to be fine now, his smile back in its place and laughter regularly leaving his lips. But we could see how they weren’t truly genuine, how he never went into the kitchen anymore to bake, how he seemed to zone out when he thought no one was watching. I can only hope we can help him. Seungmin stayed the same, regrettably, the walls around his heart now so thick not even we could break through. Although he would sometimes join us for a movie night as well, whenever I asked. It brought the smallest of hopes into my heart. And Jeongin, little Jeongin, now sported dark circles under his eyes, the skin raw and red regularly. His aversion to skinship lessened, accepting our hugs without protest.

We can recover from this, I just know it. Even if it takes years or a lifetime, but we can.

Or at least I thought we could.

It was a friday night, when we would usually gather around and spend some time together and delude ourselves that everything was fine. We would watch movies, a lot of your favourites in there despite how many times Jisung had seen them already, and just chat or sit in silence, drinking the others’ presence in.

Somehow the topic of conversation turned from our next album’s concepts to pickup lines, and I’d stupidly made the comment how you’d have loved these.

The shift in the atmosphere was instant.

Felix and Jeongin immediately started crying, Jisung soon to follow, as everyone else just sat there with glossy eyes. Nobody was able to console them, mainly because they were too busy trying not to break apart themselves. I failed at it myself, the mistake I’d made heavy on my shoulders.

That was when you’d first made contact with us, making us question our sanity.

All I remember was that the couch next to Jeongin dipped and his tears were wiped away by seemingly nothing, only goosebumps remaining in their place. It continued with Felix, then Jisung, shock clogging their throat as they stared up with wide eyes, as if they were seeing something. If it hadn’t happened to me as well, I wouldn’t have believed it, but…

They were all looking up at you and your ghostly appearance.

Your smile remained the same, if not a bit sad now as you looked at us, your eyes crinkling up in that slight arch and looking alive again. Your outfit remained the same, that dreaded stage outfit we’d last seen you in. Despite that, I was incredibly happy to see you and those cursed clothes again.

With a final swipe of your thumb against my wet cheeks you floated away, consoling the remaining members the best you could. I could tell how frustrated you were, how it pained you that all you could do was manifest power into drying up our tears, unable to touch us properly and bring us into a hug.

Not everyone understood that you were a ghost right away. Their hands phased through you, their eyes turning glossy once again the more they tried.

It was painful to watch.

And yet, you tried your best to meet their touch, your faint appearance slowly becoming stronger, as if you were alive again. Skin met skin and tears were let loose, but this time out of joy, instead of sorrow.

You told us how proud of us you were, that we were still here and continuing forward, as you were buried under our bodies and hugs. We teared up again, the tears never really stopping ever since you’d showed up. We protested and told you all our fears and anguish, how we missed you and how impossible it all felt to continue without you. Yet, you merely chuckled and strengthened your hold on us, as if you knew something we didn’t.

Hours later we all remained in the same position, afraid that you would disappear if we were to let go. When we voiced this, purely because you’d questioned why hadn’t we gotten up to eat and sleep yet, you sighed, the sound familiar and missed.

It didn’t take you long to phase through us, earning panicked sounds from us in response. You merely looked down at us with your hands on your hips and shook your head, telling us to wait there as you floated away into the kitchen. Of course we couldn’t let you out of our sight, in fear of you not appearing again, so we followed you like little ducklings and watched as you whipped up some omelettes for us, the fridge mostly empty besides a few basic ingredients.

We all stared at our plates, mostly still not believing what was happening and questioning if we actually went insane or not. But one bite shattered those worries, the food warm and divine. It brought tears into my eyes, silently weeping as I savoured each bite, the others in similar situations.

You hummed in delight when we all finished eating in your usual way of saying how much of a good job we did in taking care of ourselves. We watched you take the dirty dishes away, stacking them into the sink to wash later.

All of us were afraid to leave and get ready to sleep.

I remember the fear that gripped my heart just from the mere thought that this was all just for one day, and you would be gone the next. It took you coaxing us and your slightly see through form to accompany us as we got ready for bed, none of us willing to part ways with you.

And when it came to sleep, we adamantly stared at you instead, unable to hold you anymore as you said you were too tired to manifest yourself. It only added fuel to our fears.

We all sat on the floor of our living room, blankets and pillows on the ground, eyes drooping, yet never staying closed for long.

I fell asleep, afraid you wouldn’t be there when I woke up.’

The shifting of clothes and the crinkling of paper filled the silent space.

‘You were there the next day. And on the day after that, and the day after that as well. You were with us for long weeks, months even, as if that horrible day had never happened.

Everyone felt better, as if you appeared just to heal us. I wouldn’t doubt that, as kind and caring you were. It feels as if life took you away from us as some kind of punishment, so we could experience how harsh the world truly is without you by our side.

The group was back to their usual selves, something even the fans commented on. Chan was back at the dorms, spending only the minimum required time at the studio. Minho was back to his playful and weird self, grabbing at us and making weird noises randomly. I never thought I would ever miss those sounds. Hyunjin started laughing again, the sound like a healing balm to my soul. He cleaned out his room too, gifting some of your portraits to us, storing the others away as memories.

Jisung started joking around more, having stopped binge watching shows in a bundle of blankets. He was still clingy, but to a normalish extent. Felix started genuinely laughing and smiling again, your presence glueing his broken pieces together. On the second week of your reappearance he even baked, saddened that you couldn’t taste his cookies anymore. Seungmin was back to teasing us again, his puppy self coming out. Those walls around him crumbled at your gentle touch, and I never thought I would be so glad to have him constantly bother me once again. And lastly, our little maknae seemed happy, no more sleepless nights spent with practice and worry. He still seemed lost sometimes, but you were there to help him in the blink of an eye.

Everything felt good now, as if you weren’t even gone in the first place.

Something we never should have forgotten.

I still remember how we all blatantly ignored the signs once again, as how we’d done it in the past before your passing. You slowly started to spend less and less time cuddling with us, your form turning more and more translucent. You even seemed sadder, something you masked quite well in our presence.

One night, you gathered us together in the living room. Happy to spend time with you, we didn’t even question why, something that turned out to be a big mistake.

Your form seemed so frail, as if it was a wind away from disappearing forever. Yet, you still sported a smile, only for our sake, as if you didn’t do so, we would break into tiny pieces once again.

Words left your mouth, but I couldn’t quite comprehend them. So you repeated yourself softly, holding a hand to my cheek, the presence there so faint I could barely feel it.

You were disappearing from this world, forever this time.

I didn’t want to believe it, the air stuck in my lungs. I faintly heard Felix and Jisung break apart and start sobbing, your gentle hushes and words not able to fully comfort them. Next was Jeongin to crack, your thumbs that were now completely see through barely wiping his tears away. Hyunjin who was next to him grabbed onto you, unable to believe what you’d said. It took you longer to console him, his grip unrelenting. Chan soon joined the others, unable to keep up the tough leader act after being hurt so much. But you’d never commented on it, not even then, you merely hushed him as he hugged your slowly disappearing form. Minho silently wept, head turned down and eyes hidden underneath his hair. Even still, you could tell, kneeling down before him and comforting him. It broke him completely, sobs now loud and pleading.

The last one you turned to was Seungmin, silent tears already forming rivers down his face, lips pressed together tightly. You went over to him, even if it seemed to cost you a great amount of strength to do so, and cupped his face. Some tears collided with your faint hands, some passed through and fell onto the floor. He placed both of his hands onto yours, not wanting to see you go. But you smiled at him, a bittersweet smile, before uttering your last words and completely disappearing, leaving open wounds and trauma in your place.

“May we meet again, in another life, in another time.”

I wanted to live with you and create memories together in this life, yet you left us. Not once, but twice.

How cruel of you, hyung.’

The sound of the door opening stole my attention, my hand automatically closing the book shut, sealing those memories away temporarily.

“Hey Bin. What’s up?” - it was Jisung, having just come back from an interview.

I merely shrugged as I stood up to ruffle his hair, earning a whine from him and a smile from me. He swatted me away as I tried to do it again, his eyes drifting down towards the table and its content.

“Oh.” - that was all that left his lips, the expression on his face now turning soft and wistful.

I watched him slowly walk towards the book, taking it in his hands and carefully caressing its decorated cover, courtesy of every one of us. Memories seemed to pass by in front of his eyes, the surface now slightly glossy and dimmed.

“Hyung, I hope you’re doing well. Love you.” - he muttered before gingerly placing the book back onto its original place, a shelf that sat proudly on the middle of the wall, dedicated to one person only.

I couldn’t help but smile, the memories now sitting fresh in my mind, the wound now years later healed and scarred over.

Jisung was by the door already, looking expectantly back at me. I quickly grabbed my keys and jacket after putting on my shoes, looking back at that shelf one last time.

“May we meet again, hyung.”

#100 follower event #follower event #stray kids #skz #stray kids oc #skz oc #stray kids 9th member #skz 9th member #glacial prince #bang chan #lee know #lee minho #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #lee felix #kim seungmin #yang jeongin #request #stray kids fanfiction #skz fanfiction #stray kids fanfic #skz fanfic #ghost!glacial prince #skz angst #stray kids angst

[peachykoii]

…

I–

All right, y’all, I’ve got some things to say.

Spoilers for ramblings about Dislyte Unknown Collection Story Mode:

First, some positives!

• There were some pretty interesting concepts introduced: Raven having premonition and memory-erasing powers, using her wings + comet/shooting star + all how it influences the EU: the use of stone tablets, giving out only pieces of information to the public, not interfering with the future, etc.

• I liked how the Esper Union felt more gray aligned than straight up black or white considering its origins.

• I enjoyed seeing Triki a bit fleshed out, but let me just say that I'm biased about this because I literally don't have him yet so I don't know too much about him aside from the basics. A little disappointed to not have seen the whole crew. I was also hoping to see Zora and Ren Shi too. 😭😭 I will say, I can appreciate Yamato just coming around to be a menace and have fun, lol

• The silly and cute things like the Draw and Guess game, Tevor’s photo with Hilda??? (When and how even was this/could this happen, lol), commander Xuan Pin post-Immortal Fire and her relationship with Mateo, Alexa and Abigail having their moments together, and Alexa being a Wattpad writer amateur romance novelist on the side, lol.

• Lots of lovely and memorable artwork especially! Sachiko was obviously the devs’ favorite since they drew her so adorably, lol Assassin’s Creed reference?

Negatives.

• Y’all… This felt like an alternate universe rather than an addition to literally everything we’ve ever been introduced to in canon, so I’m just going to treat it as such. I could've avoided this and wouldn’t missed out on anything.

• Also, as interesting as it is, Raven being clairvoyant came out of nowhere, lol There’s no mention, reference, or anything anywhere suggesting this in Dislyte canon, besides the fact that Odin (Norse Mythology) has that ability. I do miss her bike and wolf though, lol The [Player] character gave more Mary Sue isekai’d into the game vibes rather than someone literally not from this world who’s experiencing Grandis and Miracles for the first time. If Markiplier can be canon in the universe but not in a weird way, then they could’ve done something along those lines for him too. Why exactly did Tang Na turn into a “Miramon”? Usually, overdrawing on your powers (could) just kill(s) you like in Gaius’ or Leora’s event. I guess it changed for then humanity/divinity balance. Where’s Discboom? She could’ve been a good lock instead. 😔😔

• What was going on with the writing and pacing? There were lots of typos, weird wording, and kind of a strange flow from chapter to chapter. Maybe localization editing was rushed? Like, I could appreciate trying a new style, but it also felt off-putting a lot of times and not as cohesive or seamless as it could’ve been. The Shackled Collection, the OG story mode, was much better in this regard. And then, there’s…

The ending…

• Honestly, it’s a bit hard to play devil’s advocate with that ending because from the standpoint of a first-time new player, who hasn’t been through Gaius’, Norah’s, or Embla’s event, the OG main story/Shackled Collection, or any other big lore heavy events, it might feel like “whoa, plot twist! That’s interesting!” But it’s still a little lackluster.

As a long time player whose way too DEEP and invested in Dislyte lore, characters, and world building, I was very disappointed.

I mean, he didn’t even have a hinted-at “I want” moment or off-putting conversation with the [Player] to help build it up. All the Anesidora moments literally could’ve been her talking to Embla or Hyde for all I know. I think that I needed better breadcrumbs not because I didn’t see the twist coming, but because it didn't really pay off. As if they chose him to be the villain for the sake of shock value instead of any substance. Why does he want the power? Gaius. Union Hub Director and Researcher Gaius? He was just like, “Good job, Mayor Abigail. Pot, kettle. Yes, I’m bad. AND I want a new world order. 😈😈 What'd you wish for, Sachiko!???” And was anti-climatically blasted away.

The Shadow Decree is more than just “bwahaha evil villainy because evil” kind of people and we’ve seen that several times now so there was a lot to work with. Personally, I’m anti-evil Gaius, but if they wanted to make it a bit more believable, here’s three different scenarios off the top of my head that fits Gaius’ personality and the whole fate theme going on.

1. Desperate Gaius “It’s been more than a decade of fighting and failure and bloodshed. I’m tired of seeing Raven hurt because of her [powers™] and witnessing both the Esper Union and SD fail at achieving what for mere humans and Espers is impossible. But then, I remembered Hannah’s private research from long ago all this time about [insert gate of promotion info to explain how that even cropped up]. And it was all true. Yamato finding [Player], Raven’s vision, and Abigail’s intel confirmed that even further. Hyde, not believing in [insert gate and wish stuff], had tried to counter it with his artificial esper project, but it devolved into something entirely different [insert Sieg]. But I knew if I wanted to prove it, I needed to take measures beyond just the Union’s resources. So, I reached out to Yamato and Hyde and the rest was history. Hannah told me that I could use my powers for good. With the full power of the Starlight’s Miracle Nexus, I can save this world from the havoc and turmoil the Miracles created — by making a new one.”

Or like, 2. Slightly Ominous Positivity™ Derails into Deluded Gaius, “Don’t worry, Raven and [Player]. Just as I trust you, trust me. Even if that was her final premonition, I trust that all will play out according to fate. If fate brought us [Esper Seven] together, if it brought Hannah into my life, then I know that it will lead me to where I need to be to help everyone that I can.” Slowly turns into obsessive, corrupted selfishness as he stresses over of Raven’s prophecy, learning about the Gate of Promotion does through Yamato and the Shadow Decree, corrupted with thoughts of its unlimited potential and what it can do for him; “Can you believe it? Fate brought us to the Starlight Miracle’s Nexus that can grant me the power to do anything. Raven was wrong. This is true destiny [taking all the divine power for himself]. Hannah, give me the strength to best this fate like you did for me to save everyone. I will succeed no matter who’s against me!”

Heck, even a 3. Turned His Back on the Light to Save His Friends Gaius “They’re my friends. Us Seven have been through more than you [Player] can ever imagine. So, when Hyde and Embla came to us [Raven and Gaius] with a truce and told me that we could use this power for actual good for the world... I had to make a decision. One that could change the fate of everything Raven knew, regardless of what she saw, but be our only chance at saving everything. I know Raven would never forgive me after what I did… especially to her… but as the Esper Union Hub Director, I will do anything and sacrifice everything I have to save as many people as I can, even if it means colluding and sinking to the darkest places. Even breaking bread with the dark forces I once knew as my comrades. I promised Hannah that I would help others. You need to understand that the ends will always justify the means.”

Or something like that since we know he can be incredibly selfless/borderline sacrificial when it comes to saving people close to him and up keeping this position. Also, is Leora’s backstory still the same bc I feel like she would’ve already tried to tell everyone about Gaius being a shadow councilor when she defected since she was mentored by Embla, a shadow councilor. They hold annual end of year All-Hands, for crying out loud, lmfaooo Ain’t no way she didn’t know.

I don’t know, y’all. I’m just rambling at this point.

I really needed the seasoning Gaius was missing in his life if they’re going to make him bad. He wasn’t a very compelling bad guy. 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

Furthermore, it felt like they potentially retrofitted the general Dislyte lore/world building for a lot of stuff?

For me, one of the biggest things was everything around the Gate of Promotion in the Nexus. “The Miracle Nexus, the source of all Miracles,” Mkay, but how did they learn about the Gates? How did Narmer and Cang Ji, dudes who LOVE researching and exploring Miracles, not find it or learn about it years before? It’s been about 10+ years since the whole Miracle-Miramon situation began when the Esper Seven explored Miracle Prime and you’re telling me that supposedly somehow only now Yamato, Gaius, Raven, Abigail and the SD know about the Gates? And if Raven’s premonition gave that info, that still doesn’t explain why everyone else knew about it before then like Xuan Pin, Abigail, and Yamato. And about the lock too. Who gave everyone this knowledge? Like, Did the [Player] character come with a manual that Yamato’s been making leaks of or something, lol? He’s supposed to be a whole ‘Miracle destroyer’ and no one else is interested in that?

All in all, all I can say is that it was a choice and I had fun if I just think of it as an OVA or Isekai AU or something.

Bonus pics bc Hall’s censored for some reason lol AND my bby girl, Jiang Man, is looking cute here.

#dislyte #dislyte unknown collection #I’ve gotta unpack this because… huh????

[invested-in-your-future]

Can you share your thoughts on Mercury Black and why you think he was mishandled

Honestly I think the entire original villain trio suffered heavily from addition of, like, ten different kind of pointless council of evil Salem flunkies, some of them overlapping "purpose" with Cinder's group.

Redemption or Villainy, they get to do neither of these character arcs.

The issue lies in multiple aspects of how the story is built:

It feels like MilesWBY people genuinely have no idea what they want to do with them beyond, for some awkward reason, trying to turn Cinder into Azula (but instead unwittingly turning her into a Team Rocket member). In MilesWBY writers' minds Cinder, Mercury and Emerald are "package deal".

They don't want to "overshadow" the "new guys" in Salem's Evil Council of Evil, but at the same time they NEED Cinder's group front and center because that's where majority of actual "stakes" for Team RWBY lie. Thus instead nobody gets proper development (seriously, who even cares about Hazel at this point or whatever his weird nonsensical motivations are?).

I am beginning to suspect writers might not quite get the "whole morality thing" and instead are treating it as a game between two , almost biblical, teams. You are either against Salem and thus "good" or you are "morally compromised" and thus are insta-aligned with Salem. They are clearly not interested in the idea of "good" people furthering Salem(or "bad" people working against her for that matter) nor are they interested in the idea of there being more than "two teams, one good, one evil" (case in point the absolute narrative pointlessness of Lionheart or how abrupt and weird the flip to evil was for Ironwood the moment he was on the opposite side of the "heroes that want to stop Salem"). It's why most Salem's flunkies( yes even Cinder's, whose whole character motivation got resolved within that needless flashback and it seems like she joined Salem "just because evil") motivations of working with her don't hold up under scrutiny even for a second within the idea of what Salem is said to want to do in the show. Evil is Salem and thus being Evil makes you on her side. And once you erase the concept of morality, you erase everything that's interesting about those three characters. What's interesting about them? The fact that they are not Salem and have been set up and implied to have their own goals and thoughts and reasons to do this.

The showrunners have a tendency to believe that the actual interesting things that people MIGHT want to see are actually boring and can be done offscreen. Who cares about actually showing Emerald's struggle or adding actual depth and complexity to either of the three? Who cares about doing anything when you can just say it happened already?

Really, I don't think Emerald or Mercury are the situation where one was done worse than the other. Narrative screwed over both, just in different ways. Emerald lost any semblance of interesting arc about her doubts and allegiance (and consequences for her actions whatever they may be) and Mercury had no chance to have any sort of depth or complexity.

Remember when people were theorizing on why Cinder might be doing this or the dynamics within the team? Remember when people were excited at how freaked Emerald looked during Fall of Beacon and were wondering where that will lead? Remember when "Just what did Cinder show to convince Emerald" was a mystery? Remember about all the ideas people had about Mercury's original flashback in V3? Or the weird backstab-y dynamic between the three and where that could lead? Penny situation and Ruby's trauma and the role Emerald played in that? Yang's situation and the implications of what happened in that fight with Mercury? In the eyes of the show all those things ended up being "irrelevant".

Sadly, at this point of MilesWBY, where everything is about gods, talking animals and other nonsense, Cinder's group is kind of pointless. Just another missed opportunity.

#rwby #rwde #emerald sustrai #mercury black

[aemiron-main]

I understand that sooo many things point to time travel in s5, but I have a hard time believing that there's enough time and space to thoroughly and accessibly explore the concept of different timelines in the show. Different timelines will take a lot to explain, and we're just down to 1 season with sooo many characters to give endings to and plot lines to close out already.

I know you and others have picked up on a lot that might be pointing to different timeline stuff, but it's not often big, obvious stuff that the GA have picked up on. Time travel with references in dialogue and the clocks and Nancy's diary, yes, but the timeline theories are very complicated, and there just seems like a lot to fit in with everything else.

Do you have an idea of how it could all be fit in and explained in a way that could be accessible for the GA? That's my major stress with the timeline theories. different Henry's and Edward and multiple versions of the Rainbow Room, like I see your vision and it's really interesting but have a hard time translating that in my head to how it could fit into s5 on screen.

Like what are the themes attached to the idea of multiple timelines? What's the purpose of it, fitting into the existing themes we already pick up on from s1-s4? How does it mesh with what we already have? What is the reason behind exploring that instead of focusing on our main characters? What does it add as far as storytelling that can't already be shown through the party or the older teens or adults that we've known for several seasons already?

And why not make it more obvious in s4? Bc I really do admire how much you've done looking into those blurry ass newspapers, but why wouldn't they plant more seeds for the GA (who aren't combing over the show and those screenshots like a lot of us are on tumblr) to prevent the idea of Edward and multiple Henry's and Virginia's, etc, to not feel like it comes out of left field for the GA?

Those are just some of my thoughts and questions about it all! I'd love to hear your thoughts!

How Does Timeline Theory Stuff Tie Into Other Events In ST and How Does It Tie Into The Themes of ST and How Are The Duffers Going To Pull It Off Without Blindsiding the GA?

YES!!!!!! Hello, anon! I totally understand your concerns, but I actually think that they've set it up in a really great way where it's going to explain a lot of major plot points/gates, and is also going to be tied to the lore of the UD & how it was created (something that the duffers have said that they're definitely exploring in S5 & that there's a LOT left to be revealed about the UD in s5. These are all great questions, let's get into them! So, first of all, what other major plot points is timeline stuff going to help resolve?

Birthdaygate I don't think that people actually forgot Will's birthday. I think that his birthday is likely on a different day and we're seeing two different timelines. Especially with the Duffers joking about making his birthday May 22nd? I think that March 22nd birthday Will and May 22nd birthday Will likely both exist, and that we're either seeing two cmpletely different timelines in S2 vs S4, or Will has switched timelines, or characters like Joyce have switched timelines. One of the biggest criticisms of birthdaygate is "since when does Vecna have the power to make people forget things, and WHY would he do that?" and I AGREE with that crticism. Because I don't think Vecna specifically erased his birthday memories/the memories of others, I think it's far more likely tied to timeline weirdness, especially because in Edward's timeline, the Creel murders happened on Will's March 22nd birthday, making it a significant date for Edward. Edward, who very very likely has TIME-related powers considering that it seems to be Edward who we saw turning back that clock with his mind, and all the imagery of grandfather clocks etc. He’s not erasing memories, he’s messing with time and dates and timelines.

Will's Vanishing I have no doubt that the timeline stuff is tied to Will's vanishing. He's literally dressed like Marty McFly on the night he disappears. Hell, Vecna's grandfather clock was behind Will on the night he vanished. We also here a clock sound when his bike falls, and we hear a clock ticking when El pokes the demogorgon in the void.

We also see two different Wills on the night he vanished, which I've been calling "warm Will" and "cool Will" based on the colour grading. TLDR warm Will is much younger looking whereas Cool Will's hair is longer and he looks more exhausted and is physically older and looks like the vision of Will that Joyce saw when laying on the couch. And two different UD versions of Castle Byers. I'd need to dig and find my poster about this from forever ago, but we get two scenes of Will in the UD in castle byers (one where El finds him in the void and one where we see him singing "should I stay or should I go" to himself) And to top it all off, there's two conflicting articles about his vanishing that seem to be the SAME ARTICLE from different timelines, it's not just two totally separate articles in the same timeline presenting different stories, it's physically the same article with the same title, the same picture, and the same author, just with different content (one of the articles, the one from S1, claims that Will was found as a test subject at Hawkins Lab and that Richard Brenner was running the Narcotics Division, whereas the other article, from S2, claims that Will was found in a cabin in the woods)

There's also the weirdness regarding "how did Joyce and Hopper get out of the UD but more importantly, out of HNL?" And how were they allowed to take him to a normal hospital? HNL was prepared to straight up murder Hopper, and Brenner was convinced that they wouldn't escape the UD. So how did they? We never see them come out of the gate, and we never see them come out of HNL. How did they get through all of the keycard-locked rooms in HNL? But if they simply broke into HNL and took Will out of there, and THAT'S the Will we see at the hospital? In the sense that the Will we saw in the UD with Joyce is a different timeline entirely than the Will at the hospital? It would explain some things for sure, especially considering that the S1 newspaper articles straight up says that Joyce found him as a test subject at HNL. Because as we saw with Terry, breaking into HNL and grabbing a child from the first level and getting out, is much easier than getting out from the bottom floors/UD gate area, especially since there's those guarded/locked hazmat suit areas. And HNL would never have let them go to a normal hospital. It's all extremely weird, and definitely tied to timeline stuff, imo.

How The Blue UD Was Created I talked in this post about the rooms and walls in the Creel house magically changing in certain scenes/retellings, and how I won't be surprised if the Creel house that has the green wallpaper in that one scene during the Massacre At Hawkins Lab Creel house sequences is the Creel house that's currently the UD. We have all of these references to the UD being a "parallel universe," and all of the time references to it, so I won't be surprised if the UD was once a regular timeline, and something happened to it. Like, this house:

And this house:

Are likely physically the same house in the same timeline. And it would tie into explaining why and how the UD looks like Hawkins- because it is. It's just Hawkins in another timeline, a parallel version of Hawkins, a concept that has been referenced in the show since S1.

How Brenner Survived The S1 Demogorgon Attack Brenner should not have survived that S1 demogorgon attack in Hawkins Middle School. It chewed on his face. And we see demogorgons kill prisoners in S4 in half the time that the S1 demogorgon was gnawing on Brenner. That man should not be alive. But maybe he isn't. After all, we have references to both a Martin and a Richard Brenner- maybe one of them died and the other one is the one we see in S4. And even if he did survive, HOW? Timeline theory stuff is very easily connected to this, especially with all the strange parallels between Henry and Edward vs Martin and Richard and the idea of time loops etc and that being tied to Brenner's survival/timeline manipulation allowing him to not have died in S1. What Henry/Edward Was Doing When He Turned Back That Clock?

We literally watched Henry/Edward turn back a clock with his mind onscreen while ranting in 1979 about the constraints of time and escaping said constraints. And we got no explanation for what the outcome of that scene was/what he was doing, and we got no explanation why he was turning back the clock in 1959/what prompted it. We still don't know WHY the grandfather clock is significant to Vecna either. Timeline theory stuff is ABSOLUTELY going to tie into this.

It also answers even MORE questions than this, but hopefully that gives you a base idea of just how connected timeline stuff is to the major unresolved questions and plot points of ST. IMO, timeline theory stuff answers more questions than it creates because the ST team has been very careful about making sure that all of these things are intertwined.

And as far as themes go, with all of the time loop stuff that's referenced in ST, that ties perfectly into the themes regarding the cycle of abuse in ST, and people struggling to escape a time loop much like how it's difficult to escape the cycle of abuse and ALSO difficult to prevent it from repeating.

I think it's also narratively powerful in the sense that it shows us just how differently things could have turned out for people if they'd made one small, different choice, how people like Henry or Edward end up differently based on how their family interacts with them, especially with Mr Clarke's reference to "a timeline where none of this awful stuff ever happened," there's defiinitely a powerful message there about how seemingly small decisions impact peoples' lives, and the cycle of abuse and how people don't realize the impact they're making on other people until it's too late. It brings up the question of nature vs nurture and to what extent a person's circumstances affect who they'll grow up to be, and how differently peoples' lives could have turned out based on minor changes.

You also mentioned "what's the point of exploring that (timeline stuff) instead of exploring our main characters?" to which I say: the two aren't mutually exclusive. They're very much intertwined, exploring things like Will's connection to Edward/Henry, and what actually happened with Will's vanishing, exploring things like "why is the Wheeler family dynamic the way that it is and why does it mirror the Creels so much?" (see: Karen being Daughter-Virginia from the Edward timeline), etc, so I very much think that timeline theory is tied to exploring the characters because one of the core things that makes time weirdness in ST work is the way that the Duffers have approached it from the start- time travel/multiple timelines ISN'T going to be an easy way of just fixing things at the last minute- instead, it's been making things more difficult and complex since the beginning. So, the timeline weirdness has been affecting who these characters are, and how we've come to know them, and how they behave, and how their lives have been/what they've experienced, so it's fundamentally tied to exploring who they are and why they're the way that they are.

You also asked : "And why not make it more obvious in s4? Bc I really do admire how much you've done looking into those blurry ass newspapers, but why wouldn't they plant more seeds for the GA (who aren't combing over the show and those screenshots like a lot of us are on tumblr) to prevent the idea of Edward and multiple Henry's and Virginia's, etc, to not feel like it comes out of left field for the GA?

To which I say: first of all, thank you <33, second of all, how much more obvious can it be? Go to almost any ST comment section or ST youtube video search or GA-written article theorizing on ST, and there's CONSTANTLY people talking about the idea of time travel in ST

Like seriously, Will is dressed like Marty McFly the first time we see him, Back to the Future is playing in S3 in the movie theatre and we specfically hear lines from it about time travel and literally watch scenes from Back to the Future during ST, there's constant references to movies like the Bill and Ted movies, there's CONSTANT CLOCKS, LIKE SERIOUSLY, THE CLOCKS IN S4 ARE NEVERENDING, AND WE LITERALLY WATCHED EDWARD/HENRY TURN A CLOCK BACKWARDS WITH HIS MIND!!! I don't know how much more obvious they can be about time travel references, genuinely, like we literally had an entire letter speech from Hopper in S3 about "turning back the clock," and then also literally watched Henry/Edward physically turn a clock backwards while monologuing about escaping the constraints of time. There's so, so, so many references to time and time travel and timeline weirdness in the show, and not just "super tiny easter egg refrences,' but literally stuff like Back to the Future literally playing on screen, and Nancy saying outloud "your timeline is wrong," and Edward/Henry ranting about time and Hopper wanting to turn back the clock etc etc, it's all stuff that you literally Cannot Miss if you even do a surface level watch of the show! (also my caps here are just Excited ranting, not annoyed <3) And also, most importantly, because all of those things I mentioned earlier, like birthdaygate and the weirdness surrounding Will's vanishing and how it isn't resolved and how the UD was created, are ALL things that the GA has picked up on, even if they don't know the ins and outs of full analysis on it, they understand basic concepts such as "Will's birthday was forgotten," even if they think it's just a production error. They understand that the UD hasn't been fully explained yet, they understand that we haven't gotten the full explanation for Will's vanishing yet. And so, timeline stuff is going to tie into the answers to all THOSE questions.

And even regarding Edward SPECIFICALLY, look at how many GA people are picking up on the references to Eddie "Edward" Munson returning in S5, and the fact that Edward Munson's missing poster parallels Wil's missing poster scene and the fact that Eddie's age is inaccurate on it. The GA is picking up on a lot of the "something is going on with Eddie" stuff, but they just don't quite realize that Edward Munson is meant to deliver subtext about Edward Creel, which is something that is going to be revealed to them in S5, and something that they'll be able to understand, because they'll be like "OHHH, that's why everything seemed so weird about Eddie/why we thought he didn't die, a lot of that was meant to be referencing THIS edward, okay!"

But yeah! I'd absolutely say that the GA is aware of time travel references in ST. I actually think they're more open to the idea than a lot of byler tumblr is LMAO. I hope that helps explain my thoughts! And for me, at the end of the day, even if I couldn't see how it tied into the story, the evidence is there, and so, I feel like even if we don't fully know how that evidence fits into the story, the Duffers definitely do.

For example, imagine telling someone in S1 that all of the clock imagery in S1 was going to be tied to some guy named Henry Creel who shows up in S4! Imagine telling someone in S2 about Starcourt Mall and a secret russian base under Hawkins and how it was going to work narratively.

#stranger things #byler #edward creel #henry creel #st creel timeline weirdness #st asks #st anons

[iszapizza]

So after watching episode 11, we can now completely tell they're going into an entirely different direction from both previous versions of the story.

SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 11

I like how they actually touched on Tesla, yet I guess because of time constraints they couldn't really elaborate it more. Knives just immediately deduces that she was another Independent like them instead of reading the experiment logs made by the scientists. Reading those logs proved to be very decisive in the original storyline because that way they could watch the whole thing happen from the human's point of view and how they thought of Tesla as just another experiment and the breaking of a new frontier. Taking away that log makes it seem more... impersonal? I don't know if that's the word I would use. Like, there's a file that says that Tesla was another independent and that's it.

ALSO TESLA STILL BEING ALIVE??? I think that's just more cruel than her dying in the manga honestly. I saw someone talking about a theory that Knives had fused with Tesla to save her, and seeing how she was living (if you could call it that) in that moment and how she wouldn't survive the Big Fall, that theory has more backing in my opinion.

Overall, a very interesting episode. I'd like to comment on the whole travelling through Vash's memories and erasing them one by one. It's really cool because for a character like Vash, who is bent on remembering all of the people he meets, everything he experiences with humans, and especially all the wrongs he has committed, forgetting everything is the key to stop hurting.

But Vash doesn't want to forget. He finds meaning in those memories, good or bad. They're what make him himself. It's his drive, his passion and his reason to keep going. Without them he's just an empty shell, like what Conrad and Knives imply by saying that Dependent Plants have no soul.

Apparently his memories were succesfully removed. And it makes me question, if Rem's memory couldn't survive, then what will?

I was lowkey expecting Wolfwood to burst in and stop this whole thing, but guess not.

I'm worried in the sense that I don't know where they're going with this new development and that's it's going to be a forced ending. But good news is that July is indeed being destroyed so at least that's familiar.

P.S And one more thing, WHAT HAPPENED TO LIVIO AND LEGATO?? Are they chilling in a vacation resort? Are they with the Eye of Michael?? Where are they??

Anyway can't wait for episode 12.

#trigun #trigun stampede #vash the stampede #millions knives #nicholas d. wolfwood #meryl stryfe #william conrad #livio the double fang #legato bluesummers #isza rambles

[butmakeitgayblog]

Another anon here and regarding straights enjoying queer fiction, there's a perspective I think is worth sharing (for the record, I'm not straight).

So there's a huge fanbase consisting of straight cis women who enjoy mlm content. It's a thing to the point where there's gay shows made specifically targeting this fanbase.

I got to talk to one of my friends who dabbled in this stuff. I asked her why? What's the draw? She pointed out sth I thought was pretty interesting.

She said that for straight girls it can be pretty hard to enjoy straight pairings because they will always experience the story through the eyes of the female character, who is also limited by societal rules or even gender roles. By watching/reading a mlm, there's no female perspective, which takes away all the irl problems.

For example, take the "if guys get sex it's a flex, if girls get sex it's a shame" bullshit. By watching mlm instead of mlw and watching through one or both male characters, they can escape the whole stigma altogether.

To take a step further, since there's an inherent safety/advantage in being a guy in many situations. They can sort of experience that freedom through taking the female character out of the equation. It's sort of like getting gender euphoria but instead it's gender role freedom euphoria???

Theres also the male gaze problem. The majority of straight shoes have gender roles to varying degrees, which skewers the power dynamic within the pairing. This makes it hard for straight girls to enjoy pairings bc they will always be put into a position where they notice inequalities toward them. So again escape.

Anyways, what I'm trying to say is, I agree that this topic is pretty complex.

It is! It's very complex. But just to kind of comment on some of your points - a lot(not all) of the straight women who consume mlm media tend to consume it to the exclusion of everything else.

I could possibly understand the points your friend made better if they also consumed things like mlw media and fics written by women, or wlw fics/media at all. But they generally don't, especially not the latter. Often times a lot of straight women mass-consumers of mlm fic and commercial media, in my experience at least, tend to treat wlw content with disgust, ridicule, or flat out indifference. Perhaps not to the same vitriolic degree straight men tend to treat mlm content compared to wlw content, but it's still there. So that kind of... makes me question if they're actually being entirely honest with themselves as to why they're consuming the specific content that they do.

I'm just saying, straight women can be just as guilty as straight men when it comes to how and why they approach the specific queer media that they do, especially when it's to the exclusion of other kinds of queer pairings.

Because I pose this: if it really all falls down to power dynamics and releasing themselves from the male gaze, then why focus exclusively on a gendered pairing that just erases the woman entirely? Why a pairing that focuses solely on a basic personal sexual preference? Makes women irrelevant to existence? Why not gravitate toward more straight women writers who thwart or rewrite a lot of those societal gender inequities that effect women within their work? Why not give respect or audience to wlw content that makes the male gaze and male/female power dynamics irrelevant as well?

See what I'm saying?

That being said, it's still not my job to police that consumption for all the same reasons I said in that last post. And to reiterate, I'm not saying your friend is wrong for feeling how she feels or that she's making it up. I don't think that at all! People have a lot of complex feelings, which is why this topic is inherently complex. I just think two things can be true at the same time, even when we may not realize those biases about ourselves

#anon

[dirty-bear-rick-sanchez]

OK wow I wasn’t expecting to feel things from this episode or for it to address anything serious. I’ll put my unordered and rambly thoughts under the cut (spoilers for Rick and Morty S6E2 Rick: A Mort Well Lived).

I’m actually really glad that they acknowledged this, since Rick refusing to admit he loves people has been an issue for a while (first explicitly mentioned by Dr Wong), although he has recently become better at it with Beth (“Daddy loves you” in the facehugger episode and “I love her, she loves you, those credits don’t transfer” in the hell demon episode), and even Jerry (also later in the hell demon episode, even though he tries to play it off, which Jerry fully sees through). We also see that Morty is fairly open with expressing love for his family for a 14 year old boy (he hugs Jerry and tells him he loves him, as well as telling Rick he loves him when he’s detoxed), and also that he feels out of place/not loved by his family (specifically in the Planetina episode), so it makes sense that he would be bothered by Rick’s lack of open affection towards him, especially after all they’ve been through together at this point.

I like the representation of different parts of Morty through video game NPCs, as I think it does a good job of showing his different/conflicting feelings. At first, I wasn’t sure if I felt like it was a bit of a cop out from having Rick and Morty explicitly have this conversation, but overall I think I’m satisfied with the way it was handled, since it was a unique and interesting way to show this topic and explore Morty’s character, and it was a pleasant surprise to see it being addressed, especially so soon after everything. I think it shows the commitment to the increased serialisation of the show, and it also reassures me that we’re going to have a deeper look at Rick and Morty’s relationship and its toxicity, rather than just brushing it off, which I was kind of worried about after the S5 finale.

I think I need to rewatch to fully appreciate this but I liked the fact that Rick kept the game running just for Marta and allowed her to stay in the game - it felt very much like Rick accepting Morty’s choices and hoping that one day she may want to rejoin Morty as a whole. However, it’s late where I am, so I may be misinterpreting this, since technically Rick is keeping the part of Morty that resents him/doesn’t want to carry on without Rick admitting he loves him. I hope that the fact that he’s keeping this part instead of erasing it means that he respects this part of Morty and hopes to be able to reestablish it one day, or at least that he respects this need of Morty’s enough to keep it alive rather than get rid of it. I’m glad that Morty was able to stand up and stand his ground to get respect/love from Rick, even if only a part of him. While I liked the humour of

Beth: Tell your grandpa you’re worthy of his respect

Morty: I refuse to do that, I’m desperate to get back together

Jerry: Just like his old man

in the S5 finale, it did feel very much like brushing any chance for development under the rug, so I’m glad it’s being addressed here.

It’s also nice to see Summer being given more responsibility and agency this season, and I particularly liked her like ‘I read your book while I took a shit’ because it feels very Rick - Rick might tell Diane that Summer reminds him of her, but she has definitely become very influenced by Rick, but still keeping her own personality.

I will say that I personally wasn’t a huge fan of the repeated Die Hard references, probably mainly because I’ve never seen it, and I think that this will mean that I probably won’t rewatch this episode as often as others, but I still think the character exploration/development and the concept of Morty’s self being split into different NPCs makes it a good episode overall.

I’ve only just seen the episode and it’s 4am for me so I definitely haven’t processed things fully but this is my takeaway so far.

#rick and morty #rick and morty spoilers #rnm #rnm spoilers #rick: a mort well lived #rick a mort well lived #rick sanchez #morty smith #summer smith #ask to tag