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#and same for laudna like
dadrielle · 4 months
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I can't stop thinking about just how emblematic everything in those conversations of Ashton being "a child" are of how, even at her most beaten down, triggered and traumatized, Laudna is not and will not be what Delilah wants her to be.
For Delilah, "they're still a child" is dismissive, a bit derisive, but doesn't even merit being truly hateful. She doesn't find Ashton worth the attention Laudna is giving them, not when there are such more interesting, important things to pull the attention of an adult. Children are only important when they are useful. She will indulge Laudna on the subject, because Laudna is useful, is her vehicle for action in the world, but she only cares about it in the context of getting Laudna to do what she wants. Calling someone a child is calling them unimportant. (Laudna is a child to her)
But for Laudna, who loves children and who understands intimately what it's like to have the helplessness of child, to be trapped under the authority of someone who will never treat you as a full person, even when they are being ostensibly kind, to be so confused and lost and powerless...a child deserves attention more than anyone else. Of course children lash out. Being a child IS in many ways quite awful because the world is so big around you and you don't know yet how to react to any of it, how to soothe yourself - and if you aren't given the attention, you never learn how. Ashton never learned how. Her instincts - instincts trained into her by manipulation and abuse from inside and the world around her - may say kill him, but she fights them the whole way because her heart is stronger and her heart says that the angriest, most volatile child needs care as much as any other. More, even.
Laudna hears Delilah call Ashton a child and agrees on the word, but they have diametrically opposed understandings of what that means, and diametrically opposed instincts on how to treat a child. Laudna doesn't want to hurt anyone, especially children. She loves children. She loves so much and so selflessly. And Delilah is so very very good at manipulating her but she has tried for 30 years to change the bedrock of Laudna's psyche, the truer thing that drives her beyond the base animal instincts of survival, and it hasn't worked.
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towards-toramunda · 2 months
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Begging people to stop acting like the only reason Laudna killed bordor is because orym nodded at her and she actually didn’t do it on purpose but orym made her do it like… come on now.
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avalencias · 7 months
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In the midst of the flow of people that had smudged together in a blur of threatening color, was a woman. She looked almost like a black-and-white photograph, stock still, calm, nearly monochrome, and blinking slowly at Imogen, with a slight considering tilt to her head.
in true form, I couldn’t help myself. thanks to @dadrielle for the fic/update bc ya girl is sooooo in it rn
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distant--shadow · 8 months
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don't think i posted this one
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utilitycaster · 7 months
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Fascinated by Ashton choosing to introduce themself as "Ashton of the Hishari" but also saying they wanted to mourn something they didn't know they'd lost. I mean, it makes as much sense as anything - it's not like Greymoore holds any meaning for him, probably much less so now that he does not think of himself as one of the Nobodies any more, but rather one of Bells Hells. It is an interesting choice though to claim Hishari. They are the ones who gave them that primordial essence that they are trying to tap into; but they also did this to a child who could not possibly have been able to agree to this with a full understanding of what would happen (if, to be fair, it was deliberate and not a complete accident, but that doesn't paint them in a terribly great light either).
It fits very well with what Jirana tells him though: good things were gained, good things come out of the bad, and it's more important to focus on what he has than what he lost. But I wonder what the more blunt (and possibly more aware of the situation) Evontra'vir is going to say.
(Evontra'vir being a Gau Drashari is also a really interesting twist because the Gau Drashari of Domunas were very specifically focused on keeping the titans sealed. What exactly did Efterin get? Was it actually a blessing of Evontra'vir, or was it a relic from the Shattered Teeth he claimed was that but absolutely wasn't? How did the Gau Drashari - the original ones - feel about sending the Primordials across the planes, since it was the only option but their role had been to guard what was sealed, not to destroy or eliminate it?)
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pocketgalaxies · 6 months
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imogen saying "delilah does give you power in return for power. but if you give her too much, what if she takes over?" and laudna saying "maybe that's necessary?" and ashton saying "don't throw yourself away, but we might have to make sacrifices" and fearne saying "nobody is sacrificing themselves" and orym saying "i'm willing to sacrifice myself" and imogen ignoring all of that and looking straight at laudna and saying "i want you."
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funscarypdr · 2 years
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laudna: *multilayered telepathic voice of eldritch horrors* imogen: “i missed that <3”
i’m being SO normal about them actually
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sea-buns · 21 days
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I understand not wanting your party members to walk into a lake and drown themselves but also Laudna has the fuckin WORST bedside manner lol. Yes, your much-needed long rest was just interrupted in a creepy abandoned town where you know weird charm-shit happened and the LAST thing you need right now is for anyone to lose focus. But also "Can you not wait? You can wait 5 minutes." talking to someone who has waited months and doesn't know if their loved one is even ALIVE and has confessed to you how much he misses them and how much it hurts and they could be outside breathing alive right now—
And on the surface, it looks like Chet is enabling a bad decision when he says "You probably heard Dorian. He's probably outside." and yeahh, okay, maybe he is a little bit. But right after that he's about to protest with something about Orym and it's like yeah. ORYM said he heard something. When has there been a time when ORYM heard something, and it wasn't real? How many times has Orym heard something and it's saved our asses? Before Chet is being hit with his own need to check out the lake, he's giving Orym the benefit of the doubt. And while he is an enabler by nature, he's keeping his voice soft rather than his usual, over-the-top "let's fuck around and find out" energy that he brings to dangerous situations like this.
You can't have everyone in the group treating a dilemma with the same amount of sympathy and care. What makes the BH so fascinating to watch is the variation in responses and different ways they interact with each other. You need a balance of someone who will take the cold, unyielding stance against something that is so obviously a trap, and someone that is aware of the risks but willing to speak up for that person and humor them when they're so clearly struggling.
I have a lot of feelings about Laudna and Chetney's instinctual responses and I think both stances are fascinating and they've both shattered my heart to pieces
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evilroachindustrial · 9 months
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After getting to watch Imogen and Laudna exist as characters without each other, I’m not really looking forward to potentially going back to their codependency sideshow.
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arcticwaters · 4 months
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something something reckless dangerous decisions something something confronting mortality
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samcarter34 · 2 years
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This fandom has a weird insistence that nothing can stand on its own and everything must be connected to everything else.
Like the two forgotten gods can’t be new characters, clearly they must the Tharizdun/Luxon/the Raven Queen’s predecessor, even though the entire thing is that no one knows these forgotten gods even existed, and the latter characters are all well documented.
There’s a city on Ruidus? Clearly is must be Avalir/Aeor/Cognouza despite that not making a lick of sense.
Morrigan turned out to be a hag with the pseudonym ‘The Fate Stitcher’? Clearly she must also be Isharnai, despite Isharnai being known as the Prism Sage, is connected specifically to misery rather than fate in general, is not in the Feywild and so would not have time dilation capabilities.
There’s a low level information dealer in Jrusar? Clearly that must be Essek because apparently he ain’t got better shit to do.
A wizard named Laerryn and a wizard named Ryn exist ~1,000 years apart? Clearly they must be the same person despite us seeing Laerryn die onscreen and there being a millennium and an apocalypse between them.
Y’all, new things are allowed to happen, and things are allowed to be what they are.
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colealexart · 1 year
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haven't been able to do any personal art this weekend so here are some oldies
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caeslxys · 2 years
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also on the topic of meaningful consequences re: character death I don't understand the take that death in fantasy requires physical permanency to matter or give a story "stakes". death is permanent regardless. Do you really think that if they get her back, they'll just go back to normal? That these characters are not forever fundamentally changed from this, that Laudna will not be fundamentally changed from this?
That Imogen's world will be less fractured, that she won't be even more of an anxious wreck now that what she stands to lose has been put into vivid clarity? That Orym won't still carry the guilt of being the chosen, that he will be less haunted by the connections he drew to his own grief with Will to Imogen's with Laudna? That Fearne won't look at Laudna and think of that coin flip, of her choice, and what that means for her and how she loves? That FCG and Ashton won't think to this and be reminded of the people they've hurt or been hurt by, and what this effort and what this grief means for how they view the hells?
That Laudna, who has been so blasé about life and if she's alive and what being alive even means for someone like her, won't wake up surrounded by family and by love and be driven to reexamine everything she's taught herself in 28 years of isolation to cope with the trauma of Whitestone? That this, maybe, will be the driving force she needed to realize that there are things she wants to live for?
It might be that I'm just biased, but I'm not sure what stakes Laudna perma-dying adds aside from just presenting the characters with the knowledge they all already have that they can, in fact, die. that what they're up against is incomprehensibly powerful and dangerous. The stakes already feel so impossibly high when you think of what and who they are preparing to face. frankly the aftermath of this combat alone, even if everything had gone perfect and everyone had gotten back up a-okay, would have set that tone.
I don't know, regardless I'll be happy to watch whatever story they choose to tell unfold as it does, but it strikes me that so many people seem to think that death only matters if there is a physical absence.
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the-relvin-temult · 2 years
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Thinking about masks, specifically Laudna's, and how determined she is to maintain hers around Imogen. With Imogen, Laudna's mask is necessary because Imogen is someone she wants to protect and support, someone Laudna wants to give the life she never had, and she can't do that if she's feeling doubtful and uncertain about herself. So Laudna has to put on that protective, supportive front without voicing many of her darker, more serious thoughts, made evident by her conversation with Ashton in tonight's episode. And, as interesting as it is to draw parallels between Imogen and Laudna and early Caleb and Nott, I think primary difference of their dynamics is because of that mask (or its lack thereof).
Nott and Caleb didn't really have something like that separating them. I think, arguably, Caleb required more babying from Nott in the early days because he was a complete mess in a way that Imogen isn't, which is represented in how Nott treats him and protects him (coddles him, even, sometimes). But they didn't really put up false fronts between each other. They kept secrets, sure. Nott and Caleb excelled at keeping secrets. But they were very emotionally honest with each other despite their secret-keeping. And I can't help but wonder if Imogen and Laudna are actually the direct opposite of that--they don't have any secrets, sure. But have they been or are they capable of being completely emotionally honest with each other? Can Laudna actually let her guard down around Imogen and drop her lightheartedness or is it too difficult for her to face the truth of those serious feelings with Imogen?
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luminousstardust · 5 months
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so you’re telling me that when laudna was jokingly asking imogen to, if anything happened to her on the flying device in zephrah, move on and be happy that she was serious and fully expecting it to happen with delilah at some point. i’m going to be sick
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utilitycaster · 10 months
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I'll admit Pâté's introduction as a familiar was a lot, but I think that's the point. Laudna was able to bring him to life...but by the time she could do so, she had real friends - friends who traveled across the world to resurrect her. So now she's grappling with the fact that he's extremely useful, but when he's not scouting or helping her in combat, she can't just stop him from talking about how horny he is to random strangers anymore. His original purpose as a companion no longer makes sense, but the vestiges of it, some of which are, well, a lot, can get really grating. I think that's why she's come off recently as a little irritated with him.
It's funny, because earlier Laudna was portrayed very much (and said as much by Marisha) as having somewhat arrested development and ever since her resurrection she's sort of speedrun that and is acting much more like an adult. I don't think she's played with her dolls in the same way since, and I wonder if Pâté being real is part of it: she got the living puppet she'd dreamed of, but that means she doesn't totally control what he's saying anymore. I mean, he's a familiar, she can dismiss him or give him commands, and she still clearly cares about him, but bringing him to life was probably something that, years ago, she dreamed about. And now she has it, and it's got its drawbacks. And when you consider it in the context of her having the rest of Bells Hells to lean on, it's just something she's started to outgrow a bit.
It's also interesting because Laudna tends to swallow her irritation and perform for the audience - even many of the members of Bells Hells. This is a woman who, upon being brought back to life after several days trapped in the afterlife, tried to deflect the focus from herself as much as possible, and who as we're seeing now isn't letting herself cry no matter how scared and worried she feels. Letting herself be openly annoyed with aspects of Pâté is a small step, but it's an important one.
I also wonder - and this is more of a long-shot - if Pâté reflects some of Laudna's own worries. The thing is, he is more annoying now, but he's also more useful. I wonder if she asks herself if that's the case for her. It's not, but she has felt a bit like a burden as of late. Which in turn would complicate things with Pâté, if he serves as a reminder of some of her own (unfounded! but possibly very real to her!) insecurities.
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