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luxaofhesperides · 4 months

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Soulmate AU: First Words + End of the World ; requested by @justwannabecat!

Duke has long since accepted that he doesn’t have great luck. Most things in his life tend to go wrong very quickly, or complicate situations he was already struggling in (see: being a meta and getting his powers in the middle of a fight). Having an incomprehensible soulmark is an unpleasant discovery on the morning of his nineteenth birthday, but not entirely unexpected.

He had been hoping for something simple, a common one like hi it’s nice to meet you or sorry, didn’t mean to bump into you.

What Duke gets instead isn’t even words.

Scrawled across his left hipbone is a string of symbols glowing a faint green. They’re not in a language he recognizes, and the symbols seem to move, shifting ever so slightly so they look different every time he blinks.

“Well,” he says after a solid five minutes of staring into the mirror, unable to rip his eyes off his soulmate’s words, “I hope theirs looks nicer than mine.”

He spends his birthday in a bit of a daze, enjoying time spent with the Waynes and his friends. It’s hard to be fully present when he’s all too aware of the soreness on his hipbone flaring up each time he moves. It’s hard to keep his mind off of it, wanting nothing more than to search for answers, unravel the mystery of his soulmate’s first words.

“Something on your mind?” Jason asks, as the attention shifts off of him for a brief moment as Harper and Cullen get ready to leave and everyone rushes to give their goodbyes,

Duke shrugs, carefully keeping his hands still so they don’t drift to where his soulmark is hidden beneath his clothes. “Yeah. Nothing you need to worry about, though.”

Jason looks him over critically, then nods.

Duke resigns himself to being investigated by the rest of the Bats. If he’s off enough that Jason had to comment on it, then that means everyone’s noticed and are trying to figure out what’s happened. They’re not going to ask him, because they think he needs space to work through whatever’s got him so distracted, but they’re also not going to just do nothing.

This won’t be the first time they’ve done this. Duke expects it. Frankly, it would be stranger and much more concerning if they didn’t try to dig up all his secrets the moment they caught wind of him hiding something.

He’ll tell them about getting his soulmark soon. Soulmarks can appear on any birthday between the ages of thirteen to twenty five; they might suspect he got his, but they won’t be able to confirm.

For now, Duke can keep his soulmate’s first words (whatever that gibberish means) to himself.

He makes the decision then and there, as his birthday party winds down, to tell them in a week.

And because his luck is abysmal, a world ending threat hits five days later and suddenly there is no time for soulmarks and first words.

Duke is the last to arrive at the Fortress of Solitude, hitching a ride from Superboy to get there. The biting cold and the harsh winds keep the place far from the reaches of the rest of humanity, surrounded by nothing but deadly white.

Desolate as the landscape is, it’s still in better shape than the rest of the world.

Things would be better if it was alien invaders. It would be more bearable if some sort of cosmic colossus tried to eat their solar system. At least then there would be something physical that they could fight.

Instead, the world is breaking apart, the sky and earth both fracturing to reveal glowing green faultlines. Timelines are getting mixed up and muddled; just yesterday, Duke had to evacuate a building that had been demolished forty years ago, then stop a gang leader who wouldn’t be born for another eight years from taking over a neighborhood block and holding the residents hostage. Strange creatures are appearing out of nowhere, crawling out of shadows and tide pools and from beneath the roots of trees, all horrible, monstrous things that go after people with teeth and claws.

The Flashes and the rest of the speedsters are nowhere to be found. The last time anyone get communication from them, it had been Impulse sending Red Robin a glitchy, barely audible video chat saying something along the lines of “trying to fix—unstable—keep us here—never been alive before.” All things that are very concerning to hear, made worse by the fact that no one had been able to contact them at all.

The quiet loneliness of the Fortress of Solitude is a welcome change from the constant screaming, death, and destruction that’s taken over Gotham as well as the rest of the world. Last he heard, even Justice League China was at the end of their rope.

“In here,” Superboy instructs, guiding Duke through the halls. There’s no time to look around at Superman’s secret base. All his focus is stuck on staying conscious for another few hours to see if this gathering of heroes is able to find a solution to the world breaking apart.

Batman stands besides Superman. Both nod at Duke when he enters the room. Wonder Woman is watching over John Constantine as he writes something on the floor, muttering under his breath. The rest of the Justice League lean against each other, visibly exhausted as they wait for Constantine to finish up what he’s doing. A few other heroes are here too, and Duke goes to join them where they lean against a wall, fighting to keep their eyes open.

“Hey,” he greets, voice low. “Hanging in there?”

Wonder Girl sighs. “Somehow. I don’t know how much longer we can do this. There’s just too much…”

“We’ll get through this. I mean, even without us out there, plenty of civilians have formed rescue and relief groups to help with keeping things under control,” Speedy says, gently knocking her arm against Wonder Girl’s. “We just gotta keep going. No giving up.”

“What’s this plan, anyways? I just heard that they needed me here to some attempt to fix things.”

“Well, without the speedsters, you’re kind of the only one who can help with time and power related stuff,” Speedy says.

“That’s definitely a stretch. My powers don’t really have anything to do with time. It’s all just light and shadow.”

Speedy shrugs. “Well, you’re here, aren’t you? Too late to complain about it now.”

Duke doesn’t get a chance to say anything else when a loud clap catches his attention. The entire room goes still and silent as Constantine stands up and surveys the circle and symbols he’s written, taking up an entire corner of the large room.

“Alright,” he says. “Time to get started. Remember, let me do the talking. If you have to speak, it’s only to back me up or when a question is directed to you.”

Batman nods to the other Justice Leaguers, and suddenly everyone is falling into formation behind Constantine. Duke hurries to join them with Wonder Girl and Speedy, taking a place on the edge of the group where he’s a little closer to the circle than the others.

Constantine begins chanting. His voice is steady though none of the sounds make any sense, refusing to form themselves into recognizable words, and the air the in the room feels heavier. The chalk circle glows a blinding white and Duke can see magic swirling through the air, his power kicking in the let him watch as reality tears and a glowing star in the shape of a boy comes out of it.

Duke blinks, forcing his power down. The hypnotic swirls of magic fade from sight, but the boy still glows, bright and terrible as he floats above the circle and surveys them all. A crown engulfed in blue flame hovers above his head and the fabric of the cosmos is draped over his shoulders as a cape.

Just from presence alone, Duke can tell that this figure is now the strongest existence in this universe. He hopes this boy king is kind; no one, not even Superman, would be able to beat him in a fight.

The boy king opens his mouth and speaks, but it’s not words than comes out. A strange static like sound emerges, but light and almost melodic.

His left hipbone burns.

Duke gasps, hand flying down to it, and the boy king’s gaze snaps to meet his.

The world stands still. No one moves. No one dares to breathe.

And then the boy king drops to the floor and walks out of the circle.

“I thought you said that would hold him!” Batman hisses at Constantine, who is looking more and more distressed.

“It was supposed to! I wrote it specifically to hold the King of the Infinite Realms!”

The boy king glances at Constantine. This time, when he speaks, it’s in smooth English. “Did you name the king in your circle?”

“Yeah, I named Pariah Dark… Bloody hell, you ain’t him, are ya?”

“No,” the boy king smiles, “I’m Phantom.”

The cape and crown fade away, and suddenly it’s not an all powerful, terrifying king standing before them, but a young man with white hair and green eyes who looks Duke’s age. Like he could be any other new generation hero in the room.

“Phantom,” Duke repeats lightly, just under his breath, but it makes Phantom look at him again.

He walks forward, ignoring the other heroes’ aborted attempts to stop him, coupled with Constantine’s frantic back off motion happening behind him. Phantom leaves the circle and the Justice Leaguers behind to stand before Duke, a soft smile on his face.

“Hi,” he says softly, “I dreamed of you.”

“You—what?”

“I dreamed of you. I have for years now. To think that being summoned was what made us meet—” Phantom breaks off into a breathless laugh.

Duke swallows, then drops his had from where it had been pressed against his hip. “So we’re really—? You have my first words too?”

In the corner of his eye, he sees Batman stiffen up. Maybe he should have just told them the day after his birthday, but in Duke’s defense, this is the definition of extenuation circumstances.

“First words?” Phantom repeats, “Is that… Do we have different soulmate connections?”

“I think so. Here, everyone gets the first words their soulmates say to them appearing somewhere on their body.”

Phantom’s gaze darts down to Duke’s hip, then back up. “Oh. I get dreams. Where I’m from, we dream of our soulmates, and the closer we get to meeting them, the more we remember the dreams.”

“And you dreamed of me.”

“I did.”

“As touching as this is,” Constantine interrupts, and Duke gets to watch as Phantom rolls his eyes, “We summoned you here for a reason. Our world is falling apart at the seams and we need someone powerful, from the Realms, to help us fix it.”

“Okay.”

“...What do you mean ‘okay’?”

“I’ll help,” Phantom says.

“Just like that? No deal to be made, no price to be paid?”

“Just like that. I’m not one for deals anyways. If I can help, then I will. But I do want to see what the problem is with my soulmate by my side, if you don’t mind.”

Batman steps in, fixing Duke with a steady gaze, a barely noticeable tilt of his head. “Signal?”

“Yeah I’ll go with him. Of course I will. The sooner the better, in fact, because everything’s gone to shit.” Duke turns to Phantom, taking hold of one of his hands. “It is really bad out there,” he warns, “If you need help—”

“I’ll ask for help from others in the Realms,” Phantom says. “No offense or anything, but if it’s really that bad, I doubt living mortals will be able to do much to fix things. It’s why I was summoned, right?”

“Right. Let’s get to it, then.”

There’s a flash of mischief in Phantom’s eyes, and cheeky grin stealing across his face for a moment, before he says, “Aye aye, captain!” and picks Duke up like he weighs nothing and flies up through the ceiling.

Duke is able to hear everyone’s surprised, panicked shouts before they’re outside the Fortress of Solitude and Phantom is flying them away. He only needs a few directions from Duke before he finds the first of the large fractures in the sky.

“Yikes,” is all he says, which is not a great thing to hear. “I think I know how to fix it, though. We’ll need to do a little investigating as to who, exactly, started messing around with reality, but once we find the source, it’ll be an easy fix.”

“That’s the best news I’ve heard all week.”

“Even better than meeting your soulmate?”

“I haven’t slept for more than four hours all week. Knowing there’s an end in sight beats everything else.”

Phantom laughs, throwing his head back and Duke can’t help but drink in the sight of him, so ethereal and bright and full of life. “Fair enough! Got any ideas as to where we should start?”

“I’ve got an entire crew of detective vigilantes,” Duke replies. He’s not taking any more chances. No more waiting to talk about important things; he messed up by keeping his soulmark to himself, so he needs to make sure everyone meets his soulmate before shit goes south again.

“Let’s go find them, then!”

They take off again, soaring through the skies that are barely holding themselves together.

The world is still ending, and every hero is being stretched thin, but held carefully in Phantom’s arms, racing head first into a solution, Duke can’t help but feel that everything’s going to be alright now.

He’s had enough bad luck. Now, his soulmate with him, bearing the title of King with grace, things are finally starting to look up.

#ghostlights #dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dcxdp #dc x dp fic #prompt fill #my writing #when its the end of the world but youre soulmate is here and ready to help fix it #meanwhile constantine had gone ON and ON about how dangerous summoning realms beings are #and all the precautions they have to take and how to be specific when making deals etc etc #it was supposed to be only the justice league but with the world ending they wanted their proteges and allies with them in case things #went wrong w the summoning. and with the rest of the bats helping out in gotham and around the east coast #signal gets to join batman. plus hes got his meta powers that could help in the worst case scenario #NO ONE predicated signal and the GHOST KING being SOULMATES #batman leaves for gotham immediately. updates the rest of the team w 'ghost king successfully summoned. he's signal's soulmate.'#and does not respond to ANYONE after dropping that bomb on them lol #they do all get to meet phantom when they join forces to find whatever doomsday cult caused all this #and the world gets saved!!#also. semi related to all this. the speedesters are gone bc time went wacky and they tried to fix things. but then the speedforce kinda #came to life and trapped them. so they have been lowkey eaten by the speedforce bc the speedforce is the true eldritch monstrosity here #anyways. thanks for the prompt!!#working on ur other two prompts now :)

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astrobydalia · 10 months

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more observations (lost count)✨

Hello guys! Life's been crazy lately and I barely have time to make any of the master posts I wanted to, so you'll be getting lost of observation posts that I've been collecting in my drafts for the past months. As always, enjoy!

❗️long post

work by astrobydalia

✨ Sagittarius and Aquarius are so fucking similar. Both of them are chaotic af, love their freedom and think they're smarter than everyone else. People who have both of these in their big 6 have the most unhinged

✨ Libra is WAY more obsessed with perfection than Virgo

✨ Whenever I had Libra or Taurus ASC on my Solar return chart I was lazy AS FUCK. I had no motivation to work whatsoever during those years, all I wanted to do was vibe and enjoy life. I also felt very relaxed and stress-free, when difficulties came I just went with the flow

✨ What is up with Gemini risings and always feeling intellectually insecure all the time? Literally their #1 insecurity is feeling like they are dumb or like they’re not good enough for highly abstract and intellectual tasks/professions. They come across as someone immature who lacks wisdom or has a superficial/simplistic view of things. I feel like this is because they attract people who are a bit of know-it-alls (Sagittarius DSC) and they have a reputation for being scattered-brained (Pisces 10th house) so people tent to infantilize them a lot.

^^^But let me tell you this not true at all, Gemini risings are some of the most brilliant people I’ve met with so much potential. Their problem is that they allow overthinking to get the best of them and end up doubting themselves 24/7. These are the type of people who have amazing ideas but they never pursue any them. They really struggle making decisions for themselves, they always need to ask for opinions first which is not a bad thing but this makes them come across as incapable or as someone who lacks self-sufficiency

✨ Mercurial signs (Virgo and Gemini) like to focus on concrete things and immediate reality, they process life by connecting one thing at a time and taking info as it comes, they focus on what's going on around them cause Mercury is all about multiplicity and details. With Jupiter signs on the other hand (Sag and Pisces) one thing about them is they don't care about details as long as things make sense as a whole, they see life from a more broad and general perspective, they prefer having a birds eye view of things because Jupiter is all about expansion and therefore it likes to encompass many things at once. This is why Virgo and Gemini rule mundane life themes and immediate reality while Sag and Pisces are more about general life lessons and higher knowledge

✨ Scorpio moons/8th house moons are the definition of an energy vampire fr. They just have a really poor understanding of healthy emotional boundaries, they expect you to give your all but aren't willing to reciprocate and always turn everything into a manipulation or mind game somehow which makes it pretty exhausting to be around them in the long run. Don't get me wrong, most of the ones I’ve met were very and good people but they always end up taking my energy away and make me feel emotionally burnt out

✨ Mercury-Mars aspects have this "it is what it is" mentality and really dislike over complicating things by reading too deep into them. They tend to think things exactly as they seem. This does not mean they're simplistic, on the contrary this makes them surprisingly insightful fast thinkers and are not the type to be easily fooled

✨ I've seen people saying that hard aspects between Mercury-Pluto makes people misunderstand your words. This is not true, this happens with Neptune cause Neptune rules delusion, but Pluto is a very blunt and straightforward planet cause it's all about revealing the dark truths. Mercury-Pluto aspects makes someone very deliberate with their words and they know exactly what to say to make their message stick. You will understand their words exactly how they want you to understand them. What happens with hard aspects is that the native tends to have a more provocative approach in the things they say, they don't care if you're offended by what they say as long as what they say makes an impact. People can misunderstand their intentions because of this, but not their words

✨ The ironic thing about Aquarius placements is that they are very good when it comes to connecting with the masses, the public usually feels very drawn to them because they're very good at appealing to collective values which makes them come across as relatable to many people as a result. However, when you actually try to relate to them or connect one-on-one, you will find yourself with someone that is surprisingly elusive, distant and more distrustful than Scorpio placements which is a huge contrast from the welcoming vibe they give off to the public. I've found that the only way you will get close to an Aquarius placements is on THEIR terms lmao, if they've decided they like you, it'll be them who will approach you and/or make the effort to engage with you

✨ A reocurring thing I've seen with Virgo placements is that they really dislike big changes and prefer to stay in control. I think this is not mentioned often cause it's kinda weird to say that about a mutable sign, but Virgos being mercury+earth ruled they feel comfortable relying on facts, data, observations, etc and they use all this tangible info to navigate reality, that's why they rule daily life and routines because they invest a lot of their energy on factually understanding and categorizing their reality (earth signs in general are very attached to the tangible). Their mutable nature shows in that they easily use their knowledge to adapt, find solutions and fix what’s wrong but when they are in situations where these "categories" prove to be useless (aka Pisces themes), they get very triggered cause that means they no longer have control of their reality

✨ That being said another reoccurring thing I’ve noticed with Virgo placements is that they love to predict things. But not in a mystical sense it’s more like they enjoy understanding things in such way that they’re able to easily put a label on them and easily predict what’s going on or how something works

✨ I have not seen a single Taurus placement who didn’t have the most insanely sexy and pleasant voice ever. Doesn’t matter if they sing of not, just hearing their voice is so delightful

✨ Aquarius Mercury really believe their opinions are the most ultimate and correct opinions out there. They are certain that their judgment is always 100% objective (aka always true) so in their mind if you slightly disagree with them that means you’re mediocre, dumb or narrow-minded.

✨ There's always a duality in all mutable signs. Sagittarius can be very humorous and optimistic but also very dark and profound. Gemini can be curious and chaotic but also very analytical and logical. Virgo can be picky and perfectionistic but also very permissive and conformist. Pisces can be very compassionate and wise but also very detached and clueless

✨ Neptune does not do well in air houses/signs at all simply because air energy rules (different types of) information and connections, while Neptune is all delusion and confusion. Also air energy is purely cerebral and rational while Neptune appeals to the unconscious

✨ I have not fact-checked this but I feel like it's safe to say that Mars rules testosterone. Testosterone is a hormone associated to violence or impulsive behavior, sex drive, red blood cells (blood), masculinity, etc That's literally all mars

✨ People always talk about how Capricorn moons have had a rough life but I've noticed this is also very true for Sagittarius Moons?? Responsibilities are not imposed on them like Capricorn, in their case they have to build up wisdom about life through pure and raw experience without anyone giving them a heads up or any pointers first, that's why they grow up feeling like they're fully on their own. Things work out for them at the end but they always have most MESSY life experience it's really crazy

✨ Both domicile and afflicted Mars are ambitious and determined but the main difference is that Libra/Taurus/Cancer Mars need to find some type of enjoyment or fulfillment in their goals in order to get motivated while Capricorn/Aries/Scorpio Mars find motivation in the challenge and endure through stuff they don't find pleasant

✨ From what I've seen males with Scorpio placements are very superficial and will gaslight as a lifestyle. They are the type of people who look the other way or brush things off or never takes anything seriously and I've noticed they do this so they never have to take accountability.

✨ Neptune/Pisces energy either gives “glamorous and ethereal” vibes or “weird in an extremely cringe way” vibes, there’s no in-between

✨ A reoccurring thing I've noticed with those who have Chiron in Taurus/2nd house or Chiron-Venus is that they often have dubious morality or double standards because they don't have a solid values

✨ Every single Libra Moon/rising female I’ve met embodied the material girl stereotype. They really have this “instagram girl” vibes to them if that makes sense

✨ Those with Sagittarius in the 5th house can actually find a lot of joy and happiness in becoming parents or they have a lot of fun with children

✨ Scorpio Mars can't stand not knowing what's going on around them and at first I thought this was bc they were suspicious/paranoid but then I realized it’s because they’re just controlling as shit. They come across as very chill and care fee but they’re actually SUPER controlling dude. Even when they know for sure that they can trust you and you’re doing nothing wrong they still want to keep taps on you and won’t leave you alone. They won't bluntly violate your privacy but will still find ways to always know what you're up to

✨ The resentful and spiteful stereotype associated to Scorpio actually belongs to Leo placements imo. They can be very reactive and childish when you insult their ego and will make it very known that they won't let it go

✨ Cancer North Node people always have some sort of issue or inner conflict with of having kids. They feel drawn to the idea of becoming a parent but deep down they low-key don't? I've also seen many women with this placement who had fertility issues

I have the theory that these natives are conflicted in this topic because they see family as an achievement or a societal expectation (Capricorn south node) so in this life time they have to know what it's like to desire a family for the right reasons and not because they feel like they 'should'

✨ Capricorn risings really are hyper-aware of their public image and how others perceive them. That's why they always end up becoming very popular and respected, cause they know very well where they "stand" publicly so they know how to successfully curate their own reputation. It's not surprising to see this placement a lot in celebrities

✨ Pluto in the 12th house are genuinely unsure of who they can trust which leads to a lot of paranoia and projection. The type to ignore the most obvious red flags but then automatically doubt your loyalty cus you spoke in a suspicious tone

✨ Pisces/12th house placements 🤝 disappearing. Y’all shit on Gemini for ghosting but have you ever met a pisces/12th houser?

✨ Saturn in 5th house people had parents (namely father) who were overly critical of them and their self-expression. Doesn’t necessarily mean they were unsupportive of the native but they were quite hard on the native’s creativity

✨ I've seen a lot of bullies/mean girls have Aquarius placements. Honorable mentions: virgo, Leo, libra

✨ Neptune-ASC people are really good at making themselves invisible when they want and/or making parts of themselves go completely unnoticed even if they're bluntly obvious. I've noticed they actually get away with a lot cause they have this tendency to not be accurately seen by others if that makes sense

✨ Neurodivergent individuals usually have Mercury harshly aspecting (conjunction, square, opposition and inconjuction) Uranus and Saturn. Said Mercury is more often than not in a water house/sign/degree or in Aries. Of course not everyone with these aspects will be neurodivergent, but it's just a pattern I've seen

✨ Pluto-ASC people most of the times fail to have a lighthearted view towards life. They always want to look beyond the surface of things which doesn't really allow them to enjoy life as it is. They often get a reputation for looking too deep into everything and in turn the Pluto-asc native often sees others as superficial

✨ Virgo risings are huge conformist and won’t go after anything that’s outside their immediate boundaries. They only make an effort towards things that are accessible and will quickly lose interest in anything that has difficult availability or requires them to go way out of their comfort zone. They're overall pretty self-serving.

✨ I know several people diagnosed with OCD. All of them have Virgo AND 6th house placements, 22º in their big 3, Scorpio Mercury/Moon and Mercury dominance

work by astrobydalia

#astrology #astro #astro observations #astro notes #zodiac #birth chart #astrobydalia #scorpio #astronotes

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yourpsicodelicbitch · 6 months

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astro thoughts pt blablabla 🫴🏼

Leo mercury + 6H, she’s a perfectionist and has such a creative, intelligent and confident mind. she’s PRACTICAL and knows her worth -describing a friend-.

Uranus/Neptune retrograde could mean struggle to exit a toxic group, “friends”.

Mercury retrograde not necessarily represents obvious or visible problems/conditions with speaking, stutter or dyslexia, etc. I’ve noticed they could seem rude, too direct, not diplomatic, they could have difficulties explaining themselves. they could generalize often or they don’t ask about certain things bc they’re ashamed.

when your mars is in their 2H you feel so comfortable with them. in other words, the other day I hooked up with the person I share this synastry and I felt incredibly comfortable, seeing each others naked and don’t feel ashamed or judged. idk it’s funny to me, I’ve never felt that way -casual situation-, like I could even fart and he won’t even judge. too explicit I’m sorry 😭. I’m gonna stop with the mars 2H synastry

I’ve read a lot of comments about black moon in lilith 7H that says they could be part of a 3rd party or be “the other women”. I have that placement in my natal chart and already a couple of times my friends who end up a 2 year relationship propose me to be their sneaky link. also, it could mean that the girlfriends/ boyfriends/partners of your friends could be jealous of you, the Lilith 7H person.

9H stellium in solar return signifies improvement, learning, to expand your horizons, to start a new period of high/education/learning.

in this whole period of time I’ve learned about my needs and how to communicate them (Chiron 3H in solar return): for example, I’ve seen people and I wanted something casual but didn’t know how to make myself understood. I didn’t even know what I wanted, so I’ve learned it during this period. It doesn’t count only in situationship stuff, it’s an example.

Uranus 4H in Solar Return: yes, it doesn’t mean you’ll end up moving to another country. I’ve seen a CHANGE in my family dynamic. believe me, if my “me” from one year ago observes my family dynamic now, she would be SHOCKED.

Solar return mars conjunct Part of Fortune: yes, I’ve been 🤓📚🫦

Solar moon square uranus: I was a good girl all that time 🥰 I was suffering, struggling so hard so things will be in order, pretty and diplomatic… My feelings and ideas didn’t match what I usually used to do: do whatever I want (uranus ruled). I wanted but my subconscious was telling me to keep calm so all the trust or time i gave to build that environment won’t be wasted. then, unintentionally, I broke that diplomatic environment after my birthday. it felt really good, like it was me again😩

natal saturn 1H why so conservative and traditional? I’m not affirming is a bad thing but this placement often behaves exaggeratedly, too disciplined/formal. they could be too focused on what should be and how things should work instead of appreciating the whole situation. they could end up judging others too much, evidencing the amount of criticism they have on themselves.

pluto 9H not everything has to do with politics. -yes and no, it’s debatable-. my point is, relax, sometimes life it’s not how you wanted to be. let things be🧘‍♀️

Lilith (mean) 5H you were the experiment of your parents, don’t you?

Node trine Jupiter tells me you can overcome challenges in your life even if you have a lot of chiron aspects in your natal chart 😭 idk if it’s understandable. What I mean is that the universe has your back, this aspect goes through deep experiences that have the previous mentioned effects on them.

Ascendant - Mercury aspects: job that has to do with communication 🤪 too obvious but I’ve noticed. lawyer, publicity, etc.

sun opposition sun synastry: opposites attracts.

pluto opposition juno natal tells me you have to work first on yourself to enter a relationship, to solve those control issues. also meaning that if you didn’t work on yourself, you could have being the one directing the relationship.

—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

❀ Based on personal experience and what I’ve analyzed in my surroundings

❀ English is not my first language

❀ I’m not a profesional astrologer

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

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starsworldd · 11 months

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✺ 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐢 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐚 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐭 <𝟑

just a reminder i do have solar + other readings open now :) 🎀

1. start off with the solar rising:

• the sign on the ascendant gives you a good idea as to how you will feel about and approach the year ahead.

• see where your rising falls in your natal chart:

this tells you where you’re focused for the year ahead (e.g. finances, friends, career, etc…)

2. natal x solar:

• check to see if any planets/points conjunct each other between solar return and natal chart and check the natal house where this conjunction is falling. the planets conjuncting each other show what type of energy will be present and the house shows where that energy is playing out (here are some examples):

• you can also check for trines, sextiles, squares, oppositions and other aspects between solar and natal charts but i personally find that conjunctions are the most potent

3. sun house:

•check where the sun falls in your solar return. this gives a pretty good idea as to what themes are most prevalent in your year ahead

• id say from this point on out you can basically read as a natal chart:

✺ planets ✺

sun - where you express yourself, vitality, and drive

moon - what you are emotionally tied to

mercury - where there is activity/ideas/info

venus - what areas of life you find pleasure and happiness (especially concerning people and money)

mars - where you find confidence, energy, persistence, independence and/or conflict

jupiter - where you find opportunity/luck/overindulgence/blessings

saturn - where you experience frustration, limitations, hard but important lessons

uranus - sudden changes, liberation, and the unexpected

neptune - fears, misconceptions, fantasies and imagination also where things seem to “blur” for you this year

pluto - dread, change, upheaval, determination

✺ asteroids/other things ✺

chiron - what keeps hurting you this year

lilith - where we rebel and obsess over, and want to have things our way

part of fortune - happiness and luck

vertex - the sign, house + degree gives insight to impactful events ahead

✺ signs ✺

aries - where you are able to take the lead and have more control

taurus - where you want to feel stable, secure, and resourceful

gemini - where you may be multitasking, where you have to communicate/talk a lot

cancer - where you feel comforted, understood, taken care of

leo - where you want to express your creative and fun side, where you want to shine

virgo - where things may seem a little more mundane, where you are adaptable with schedules/work

libra - where you are kind and personable, where you experience harmony with others

scorpio - where you find personal deaths and/or tenacity

saggitarius - where you experience freedom and expansion

capricorn - where you are goal-oriented and responsible

aquarius - where you embrace new/eccentric ideas and experiences (especially having to do with the internet or people at large)

pisces - where fantasies/creativity/imagination play out, where things may seem too good to be true

✺ houses ✺

1st - how you approach the year ahead, qualities you want to exude

2nd - how you set yourself up for the year (material and non-material)

3rd - how communications and info are brought up

4th - what your private/home life is like

5th - how you express creativity/romance/fun

6th - what your schedules/daily routines/self-improvement may look like

7th - what qualities all relationships (especially enemies and allies) may embody this year

8th - what things are being changed (loss and rebirth)

9th - what things give you faith and hope, how you find opportunity

10th - what your long-term goals and responsibilities may be like, reputation

11th - social circles, communities at large, and goals + aspirations

12th - mental health, healing, spirituality, and isolation

✺ when planets are in retrograde ✺

planets and asteroids that are retrograde mean that that planet struggle to outwardly express their traits. expect some delays, frustrations, and/or thinking as to the planet’s traits

4. house rulers

once you’ve made sense of the houses and signs in them, check for where each house ruler resides in the chart and check for important aspects (i do under 3 degrees and under but the orb is up to you) such as conjunctions, sextiles, trines, squares, and oppositions (if you guys would like i can make a post about aspects) and you can count minor aspects if you would like as well but i personally don’t

here is an example:

the 3rd house is in libra, with the ruler in the 5th house in saggitarius, conjunct mercury, opposing mars and making a sextile to saturn. third house in libra could mean that communication and info seem to be highlighted in one-on-one relationships and may be pretty harmonic and diplomatic as well (especially with the mercury conjunct venus aspect). this being in the 5th house means that info/communication may be a source of happiness and creativity this year. maybe something to do with the arts! the ruler conjunct mercury may emphasize the fact that there’s communication with multiple people and information exchange is also a main theme. the opposition to mars may mean that it’s hard to assert confidence or leadership when this person talks with others this year. with the sextile to saturn in the 7th though, this encourages that this person should practice patience and restraint in social matters, particularly when forming connections with others.

house systems for solar return chart?

whatever you prefer!! i personally like whole signs though

hope you enjoyed!

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wh0reforcoriolanussnow · 9 months

Text

Little Girl || D. Targaryen x oc (Dear Motherhood Series)

GIF by me :) pls give cred if used DIVIDERS by @straywords

summary: in which Leyla and Daemon are invited to Rhaenyra’s celebration for her fourth year in marriage to Laenor, it gets heated quite quickly.

Dear Motherhood Series Masterlist

“Are you sure you want to come? Leyla you could be in labour any minute now!” Daemon sternly says as he paces infront of her. The young Hightower rolls her eyes at her Husband. “I will be fine Daemon, stop worrying.” A dinner was going to be held in honour of Rhaenyra and Laenor’s fourth year in marriage.

Daemon had insisted that Leyla shouldn’t come because she was heavily pregnant with their fourth child Leyla watches as Daemon groans, running his hands down his face. It was as if he really did not want her to come to dinner with them.

She furrows her eyebrows, “Do you really not want me there?” Her voice quieted down as her gaze drops to her lap, her fingers instantly moving themselves and picking at her fingernails, an old habit picked up from Alicent. She was offended at how adamant Daemon was on his opinion that his Lady wife should not attend.

The Prince’s features immediately soften as he looks at his wife. “Of course I do, sweet girl” He kneels down infront of Leyla, “I just don’t want you to exhaust yourself too much” He kisses her hands. He knew of her bad habit, so he would delicately kiss her hands.

“Then it’s settled, I’m attending” Leyla tightly smiles. She attempts to get up but struggles due to the size of her stomach. Daemon automatically offers her his arm to which she gratefully takes and gets up with his help.

“Gods I wish this child will come out soon, I don’t know how much longer I can take this,” She huffs, one hand on her back as she groans at her back pain. She was a petite girl after all. Her frame small, making her stomach seem in proportion.

“Let’s hope the little one decides to not come out tonight shall we?” Daemon chuckles, his arm still held by Leyla as the two walk out of her solar. “Wouldn’t that be a turn of events” A chuckle leaves her lips along with a small shake of her head.

“Prince Daemon Targaryn, and his Lady Wife, Lady Leyla” The couple walk in, Leyla’s hand on Daemon’s arm for support as they carefully walk down the stairs. “Uncle, Leyla!” Rhaenyra stands up from her seat with a smile as she walks over to the two and embracing Leyla in a hug, quite awkward seeing as her swollen belly was in the way.

At the table, her father and sister were present. Both of them giving a nod to the younger. “Leyla dear, come sit. I have a spot saved just for you,” Rhaenyra pulls her away from Daemon and links her arms with hers.

She looked back at Daemon who chuckles before turning back around to face the front. Rhaenyra had her sit at the head of the table, 2 free seats on her left. The Targaryen Princess pulled out the chair and Leyla sat down with an awkward smile, everyone else was still standing as they watched.

“Daemon-“ She was interrupted by Rhaenyra’s voice, “Kepus, this is your spot,” The Princess gestures to the seat beside her. Leyla’s jaw slackened. She only looked to Rhaenyra, then her Husband then back to her front. Daemon was seated in between Rhaenyra and Alicent.

How odd of the Princess to not seat her husband beside her at a celebration for their marriage. And how odd Leyla found that her Husband was not seated by her side. Pushing the odd feelings aside. She smiles at her father who was directly across from her, a smile that was given back from Otto.

“Oh how good this feels, It’s been some time since we’ve all dined together.” Rhaenyra smiles as the servants pour all their cups with wine, apart from Leyla’s as she covers the cup with her hand, water only, she told them. “And as much as we are celebrating my fourth year in marriage with my dear Laenor, we are also celebrating the child that my Daemon and his wife will soo welcome!” She raises her cup and everyone follows suit.

Leyla cringed. His wife. His wife has a name. The young Hightower makes eye contact with her sister whose eyes slightly widen at the Princess’s words. She looks to her left where Daemon sat, he hadn’t batted an eye to her ever since he was sat down beside Rhaenyra.

The dinner celebration dragged on. Not much was said between Daemon and Leyla because well, they were seated away from each other. So instead, she made conversation with Laenor who was to her right. “Leyla, how ever did you manage to become a mother to three, well soon to be four, children at your age!” Rhaenyra brings everyone’s attention to her, everyone’s little conversations coming to a halt.

Leyla slowly takes a sip of water before answering. “I am just a dutiful wife I guess,” She shrugs, wetting her lips and smiling. “Forgive me, my memory is terrible, how old are you?” She wears a grin on her face, almost as if mocking her. “ten-and-eight.” Leyla answers, this time, with blank expression. Daemon side eyes the two women to his left.

Rhaenyra’s eyes enlargen the tiniest bit, her lips still curved upward. “My, let the poor girl rest, uncle.” She laughs, nudging Daemon who only chuckles. “She’s a wonderful mother to our children. She’s a natural.” He replies, finally looking at Leyla for the first time that evening.

The young Hightower briefly smiles before facing her front again. “You must be aching everyday. Such a small and fragile body like yours must surely be exhausting carrying all those children,” She chuckles, before taking another sip of her wine. The princess was, without a doubt getting tipsy.

“I’m quite used to it, Princess” Leyla shakes her head with a small scoff. “When I saw you heavily pregnant, Gods you still looked like you were…” Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Leyla said over and over in her head as Rhaenyra paused, thinking really hard to find the words.

Everyone else in the room felt the uncomfortable atmosphere. “Darling, maybe you should stop with the wine-“ Laenor interfered but it was no use, Rhaenyra had said it. “Like a little child-“ “Okay!” Laenor butts in, awkwardly laughing as everyone sits quiet. Leyla seemed composed on the outside, calm and unaffected by Rhaenyra’s comment.

But inside, she was fuming. How dare she say that to the only person to be able to give heirs for the Targaryens. Daemon stared at Leyla the entire time. He knew that comment was affecting his Lady Wife. Alicent coughs, Otto gives a displeased look at Rhaenyra.

“I just don’t know how you do it Leyla, I just cannot imagine what you go through during your pregnancies and birth-“ “I think there’s better topics to talk about than my pregnancies, don’t you?” She interrupts her with a fake smile. “We could talk about your children or your pregnancies but there is none to talk about,” Leyla comments before taking a sip of water.

She could see Rhaenyra was visibly affected by what she said. Leyla could see both her sister and father trying not to laugh. She knew of the whispers around the realm, the castle. That Laenor found pleasure with the opposite sex. And of course, both have denied it and yet it seems to be confirmed because during the four years of marriage, Rhaenyra has yet to be with child, producing no heirs.

“I-I’m sorry? I was simply asking-“ Rhaenyra furrowed her eyebrows making Leyla subtly roll her eyes. “Nyra.” Daemon sternly spoke, glaring at her niece. Silence filled the room once again. Daemon was right. Leyla shouldn’t have come to the dinner.

“I think it’s best I go,” Leyla breaks the silence, attempting to stand up but was quickly helped by Daemon. Rhaenyra stays sitting, her gaze hard on the table infront of her. Leyla’s words running through her mind. Alicent walks over, kissing her younger sister’s cheek. “Are you okay?” She whispers, to which Leyla nods with a small smile. “I’m fine.”

She wasn’t. And Daemon knew that. The young girl would always rant to him about her insecurities. Insecurities that he himself find beautiful. He knew that Rhaenyra’s comments stung the young girl. “Leyla…” Daemon attempts to comfort his wife but was pushed away as she walks away from him as soon as they step into their bedchambers.

“She had no right to comment about my stature. And-and what she called me. A little girl Daemon!” She shouts as she turns back around to face him who stands there. “She’s just like them all,” She chuckles bitterly to herself as she struggles to undo the laces to her dress.

Daemon moves to her, unraveling the laces to her dress. “I mean, who does she think she is. She knows what she was doing,” Leyla huffs as she slips out of her dress and slips into her nightgown. “And why did she sit you beside her and not me? Your wife, for gods sake-“ “Stop worrying about it, my love” Daemon hushed her. Resting his head on her shoulder and peppering her bare shoulder with kisses.

“But I can’t,” She moans. Daemon carefully turns the girl to face him, “She doesn’t know what she is talking about. Rhaenyra has not had the experience of carrying a child. And you, are producing Targaryen heirs, not her.” He says calmly, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she looks up at him.

“Do you think I took it too far when I said-“ “No,” He chuckles. “You were only speaking the truth” Leyla grins as Daemon kisses her forehead. “Come, what a night it has been” He ushers her to their bed.

722 notes · View notes

minastras · 1 year

Text

dear stranger, do you remember me too? // sunghoon

When you were sixteen, you betrayed Park Sunghoon. Or he betrayed you. Whichever it was, you knew two things for sure: 1) kids were cruel, and 2) you would spend the rest of your life trying to make up your mind. Well, until you saw him again. It was a strange feeling, meeting him in the flesh even though his ghost had been haunting you for three years.

at a glance: childhood friends to strangers to lovers, reformed bad boy! sunghoon, university au, pure angst (i received High Level Clearance from @end-hyphen to put him through the wringer sorry), ft. hyung line

words: 12.3k

warnings: swearing, mild mentions of blood, sexual harassment, and fights (nothing serious), alcohol and cigarette use

——————————

For as long as you could remember, Park Sunghoon had been the centre of your solar system, the axis around which your universe revolved. You’d known him since the day you were born. You lived on the same street, four houses apart, and as the only two kids in the area you naturally bonded instantly with each other. He was your best friend, your confidant, your partner in crime.

As soon as you both were no taller than his coffee table, you spent nearly every day together at the playground behind your street, running through the neighbourhood blowing bubbles and chasing butterflies.

“Do you think we could both fit on the same swing?” You could still hear your voice, light and flowery back then, asking.

“Let’s find out,” his equally childish voice rang back, before he yanked you into his lap and struggled to get enough leverage with his feet to push you both off the ground.

That ended with you tumbling out of the swing and onto the tarmac just by the playground, scraping your knee. You both must’ve been only five years old then, but you didn’t cry, instead stubbornly getting to your feet and ignoring the blood trickling down your calf until you were back in the privacy of your living room.

He had carried you home on his back, even though you could walk just fine, and sat you down on the sofa while he cleaned your broken skin with a tissue.

“You can cry if you want,” he had said simply, in that innocent manner only kids have.

You were with him all the way through kindergarten to middle school to high school. Neither of you had many friends; you were both quiet and shy and somewhat rough around the edges. But that didn’t matter, because you had each other.

As you grew from toddlers to precocious children to teenagers, you continued spending nearly every day together. When you weren’t glued to each other’s sides in school, he was spending the night at your house after class, or you were playing video games in his room on weekends.

You always looked forward to Fridays. Sunghoon finished school an hour after you did and he would wait for you in an empty classroom. Afterwards you would take the bus into town and waste away the rest of the afternoon at the movies or in the arcade. You’d buy fried chicken for dinner and eat in your room, and he would spend the night. In the summertime, you’d climb up to the roof and stargaze and eventually fall asleep beside him, only to be rudely awakened by middle-of-the-night summer showers.

You had never known anything else but you and Sunghoon against the world.

——————————

When you were sixteen, things began to change.

“Do you want to do something special tonight?” Sunghoon asked. You were hanging out in your bedroom, him lying on your bed and you sitting on a bean bag on the floor, listening to music and studying.

“Like what?”

He grinned excitedly and handed you his phone. “Jeongmin invited me to join him and his friends. He asked me to bring you, too.”

You read the brief text exchange and frowned. “Jeongmin? As in, iljin and leader of that gang of dickheads, Jeongmin?”

“He’s actually nicer than he seems, you know,” Sunghoon told you. “He said he wants us all to hang out.”

You gave him his phone back, incredulous. “Hoon, the four of them beat up Ahn Jinho so badly last month that he’s still in hospital. You can’t seriously be considering taking him up on his offer. He’s going to drag us out into a park and kill us.”

“I think he just wants to show us how to have fun. You know, live a little. Why else would he invite two nerd loners like us?” he asked.

“Because we’re weak, lonely, and easy to take advantage of?” you pointed out. When he didn’t respond, you sighed. “Do you really want to go?”

“I do.”

“Fine.”

He shook his head rapidly. “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to.”

“And let you get killed all by yourself? No thanks. We die together.”

——————————

You knew it was a mistake the second the conversation ended, but, as you said, you weren’t very well going to let Sunghoon go alone. And he was adamant, longing for friends, and desperate for an adventure. He clung to your arm as you walked from your house to the abandoned car park, thanking you repeatedly the entire journey.

Regret set in almost instantly. For you, anyway. Sunghoon seemed to be having a blast.

Jeongmin was already there waiting for you, with a case of cheap alcohol in his hand and his three lackeys in tow. You sat in the car park watching as Sunghoon drank and smoked with them, pretending to enjoy himself even though you knew he despised the taste of both of those things.

Jeongmin respected your assertion that you wouldn’t smoke (a shocker), but continued pushing you to drink the entire night. You fidgeted under his leering gaze, only growing more anxious as the minutes ticked by and he kept trying to ply you with alcohol, kept sitting closer and closer to you, kept returning his hand to your thigh no matter how many times you shifted away. Sunghoon didn’t stop him.

At the end of the night, you dragged Sunghoon back to your house and managed to get him up to your room without waking up your dad. He was wasted and reeked of smoke, incredibly lucky that his parents would just assume he’d spent the night at yours like always. You dumped him on your bed, aired out his clothes, and mixed honey and lemon juice into a glass of warm water for him to try and stop his cough.

“Did you have fun?” he asked, already changed into some of his sleeping clothes he kept in your room. His words were slurred and his cheeks were red, but he was coherent enough. “God, my throat feels like shit.”

“Because you smoked half a pack in one sitting like you were cosplaying as a forty-five year old weathered truck driver. Drink your honey lemon water,” you ordered, opening your bedroom windows so the cigarette smoke wouldn’t linger. “And no, I did not.”

He pouted but complied. “They’re not that bad.”

You took the empty glass from his hands and pulled the blankets up over him, touching his forehead. His skin was warm and flushed from the alcohol. “We’ll agree to disagree,” you said, heading downstairs to wash the glass.

“Lie down with me,” he whined the second you came back, somehow having managed to tuck himself into your bed like a sushi roll.

You switched off the lights and climbed into bed beside him, close but not touching. “I really don’t think you should be mixing with them, Hoon. They’re bad news,” you said quietly.

He’d fallen asleep before you ever got the chance to finish your sentence.

——————————

Over the next few weeks, Sunghoon started going out on more of these ‘adventures’. You stopped tagging along, but he still relied on you to shelter him in your room so his parents wouldn’t find out where he was disappearing to. And you continued to keep your phone right by your pillow while you slept so you could go bring him home if and when he called you.

He kept smoking around Jeongmin and his friends, even though he hated it and it made his throat itchy. You had started doing your own grocery shopping so your dad wouldn’t notice how fast the lemons and honey ran out nowadays.

When you and him were together, he acted exactly the same. He was still sweet, thoughtful, and just a little bit snarky. He still stuck to you in school, still waited for you every Friday afternoon, and still followed you to whichever new restaurant you wanted to try out on the weekends. He still lit up with a smile when you came by to his figure skating practice to cheer him on, much to the chagrin of his coach.

But whenever he went out to get wasted with Jeongmin and his gang and you had to go pick him up, you caught glimpses of the person he was becoming. He was picking fights and losing his temper at the smallest things, aggressive and hot-headed and dripping in machismo. No longer charmingly sarcastic with a gentle side, now he was just mean.

As soon as you two were back in your room, however, that all melted away. He would cuddle up to you, apologise, and thank you for always bringing him home no matter how ungodly the hour. If he woke up before you, he would tidy your room as a way to return the favour and leave a snack on your bedside table.

The snack was always accompanied by a yellow post-it note which he took from your desk (you didn’t even use those, but you kept them around specifically for him) with a dumb doodle or lots of hearts or both.

You weren’t happy about this development, but you didn’t do anything to stop it. It was his life, not yours. And you weren’t really in the business of speaking up about things that bothered you anyway. You kept your head down and your mouth shut, and stayed out of Jeongmin’s way.

Until one fateful Tuesday, about two months after the first invitation.

Sunghoon rarely talked to you about his newfound friends; he knew you didn’t approve of them and he didn’t want to upset you. This particular piece of news, though, was just too exciting to keep from you. After all, you were his best friend. He wanted you to be a part of his new life.

“Guess what the guys and I are doing on Sunday,” he said. You nodded for him to continue, somewhat distracted by the cinnamon rolls you were baking together in his kitchen, not entirely sure when ‘the guys’ had become a thing. “Jeongmin’s cousin is in town, and he has a fancy new car. We’re gonna hotwire it, drive it down to the cliff, and set it on fire.”

You stopped dead in your tracks, your jaw dropping open. “What? Sunghoon, that’s too dangerous.”

“That’s why we’ll do it at the cliff. There’s nothing around there that could burn down,” he explained, like that made it okay.

If it weren’t for his completely serious tone and expression, you would have thought he was joking. You set down the mixing bowl you were holding. “No, you could get hurt,” you said, adding, “And what if you get caught? That’s grand larceny and arson.”

“The guy’s an asshole anyway,” he said nonchalantly, not listening to you.

“That doesn’t make it legal, Hoon. Or safe. I’m serious. You can’t do that.”

He folded his arms across his chest, scowling. “You’re just jealous,” he said.

“I don’t want you to go to jail,” you corrected.

“No, you’re jealous I finally have friends other than you. Like, cool, normal, friends,” he snapped, angrier than you’d ever seen him.

Never in your life had he raised his voice at you. You pretty much never fought, aside from short bouts of time when one of you was upset for one reason or another, but you always smoothed things over through calm, measured conversations. Not arguments like this.

You paused, stepping away from the counter, from him. “Is that what this is about? I’m not good enough for you?” you asked, your voice soft.

He had never once indicated he was unhappy with your friendship, with your relaxed hangouts in each other’s houses and comfortable outings to cinemas and restaurants and bookstores. But clearly he wanted something else: to be cool, normal, and have friends that weren’t shy recluses.

You trusted him. He was your whole world, and you’d always assumed you were his too.

“That’s not what I meant,” he said, pulling back his words as you turned to leave. He followed you, pleading, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

“I’m going home,” you stated firmly, rushing out of his house and slamming the front door shut behind you.

——————————

By Sunday evening, you cracked. You had been avoiding Sunghoon for the last two days, and both of your families had noticed. You couldn’t stop thinking about that night, if he would be caught, if he was going to be okay. There was no way you’d be able to talk to his parents without him finding out unless he was out at figure skating training, so you confided in your dad. And he called Sunghoon’s mom right then and there.

“You did the right thing, Y/N. I’m proud of you,” your dad said after he hung up, patting your head.

“It doesn’t feel like I did,” you mumbled, your insides twisting and twisting away.

“I know, honey.” Your dad rubbed your shoulders comfortingly, before offering, “Do you want to go out for ice cream? Take your mind off it? I can call off work.”

You clung to him for a few more seconds, then let go. “I just want to be alone for a while, if that’s okay,” you said, retreating to your bedroom while your dad left for his night shift at the plant.

You weren’t sure how long you lay in your bed staring at the ceiling in complete silence, numbed by guilt, before your bedroom door swung open and Sunghoon barged into your room. In your state, you hadn’t even heard him enter your house. You scrambled to your feet.

“Did you fucking snitch on me?”

He was in all black, with a graphic t-shirt over a long sleeved polo, ripped jeans, and boots. With his hair styled and jewellery on, he must’ve been ready to leave the house, because that was how he normally dressed to meet Jeongmin and his gang.

“Hoon-”

“I told you that in confidence,” he snapped, shutting your bedroom door. His eyes, narrowed in hatred, glowered at you. You walked over to him and reached for his hand, but he slapped you away, recoiling at your touch like you were a hot stove. “How could you do this to me?”

“I was worried about you,” you said, your tone begging, mollifying. You rarely saw him this angry, and never had that anger been directed at you.

“Bullshit. My parents just screamed at me for two hours. Jeongmin’s gonna be pissed at me,” he fumed. “You weren’t fucking worried about me. You didn’t want me to be doing things without you.”

You dug your nails into your palms, trying to stop yourself from crying. It seemed to work, for a while, anyway. “Is that how you see me? As a needy pest who won’t let you go?” you asked, each word a chore to get out, your eyes already stinging. Not from his words, but from the sheer contempt in his expression.

Had he really spent the last sixteen years so desperate to get rid of you, like you were a persistent barnacle on a ship that refused to leave? Did he hate you that much? How had you never known?

He took a step towards you. His eyes were cold, his jaw was clenched, and you couldn’t even recognise him. You stepped back cautiously.

“Oh, like you’re some perfect angel,” he spat through gritted teeth.

“I’m not. I just don’t want you to throw away your future. I-”

“You know what your problem is?” he shouted, cutting you off. He took yet another step forward, and you again stepped back. The backs of your knees hit your bed frame. “You’re a hypocrite. You hold everyone to such a high moral standard that no one is ever good enough for you. Not me, and not yourself. That’s why you fucking hate yourself so much.”

You couldn’t speak. Your heart was firmly lodged in your throat. For several agonising seconds, the only things you could hear were his furious breathing and your own heartbeat pounding in your ears.

“I think you should go home,” you finally said after a long pause. Your voice was shaking as you held back tears. “We can talk about this when you’ve calmed down-”

“Don’t fucking tell me to calm down!”

Sunghoon raised his hand to push back his fringe, but you didn’t know that. Because when his hand came up, you flinched.

He lowered his hand immediately, only then noticing that he’d backed you into a corner. Instead of shock or anger or hurt, there was nothing but pure, unadulterated fear in your eyes.

“Did you think I was going to hit you?” he whispered, stepping back.

You squeezed your eyes shut and turned away, walking to your open window and resting your hands on the windowsill. “Please leave,” you said simply, fighting to keep your voice stable as tears began to roll down your face, not looking at him.

He stood and waited for a minute, watching you. You could feel his gaze. But when you refused to turn back around, he sighed and left. You heard your bedroom door close, and then your front door a few seconds later, and then it was so, so quiet.

——————————

You and Sunghoon avoided each other like the plague after that fight, although that torture hadn’t lasted long. Within two weeks, he’d withdrawn from school and vanished. His parents told you he’d gone to a boarding school in a different town, but they didn’t say where or why.

You never saw him again.

Being in your hometown for those last two years of high school was difficult for you. Having to live just down the road from his family home, constantly surrounded by all of your old haunts, made it hard for you to get him out of your head.

After high school you’d gone to a small university to do your first year with a conditional offer from your dream school in your back pocket. You needed time to save up money, and you were hoping to secure a scholarship with your first year grades.

You’d been lucky enough to make a new friend, Heeseung. Like you, he was only in that university temporarily to work his way into a scholarship. Your relationship was initially one of convenience and comfort — neither of you were particularly keen on mixing with the other students you never planned to see again after your first year — but you quickly became genuine friends.

You kept each other motivated, and both managed to secure transfers before your second year started. In fact, you’d done so well that your then-university had begged you to stay, offering you scholarship after scholarship and full fee remissions. But you both turned them down. You had loftier ambitions.

Once you moved away to university, things got better. Of course, the vestiges remained. You still had Sunghoon’s Spotify playlists in your account, your shared arcade membership card in your wallet, and some of his socks mixed in with your own. Before you fought he’d borrowed your favourite pair of red shrimp socks, and now you were never going to get them back.

But you didn’t think about him nearly as often as you used to. He was no longer a ghost living in your head, but a will-o’-the-wisp that occasionally caught your eye when you saw something that reminded you of him.

And now you and Heeseung were standing in the foyer of your new dorm with nothing from your past but a small suitcase each, in the university you’d been chasing your entire lives, ready to start your second year.

“We made it,” Heeseung whispered to you, still not fully comprehending it all. You were really here.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this nervous in my life,” you whispered back.

“Me too. If we weren’t roommates I’d be shitting bricks by now.”

The school had been gracious enough to allow you and Heeseung to live together in a small apartment within the music students’ dorm, since you were pretty sure at least one of you would have gone bonkers if you were separated. You would be sharing the floor with another similar apartment housing three students who would meet you in the foyer to help you move in.

Right on time, one of them (you presumed) came bounding down the stairs excitedly. He broke into a broad smile the second he saw your suitcases, his originally stern-looking features softening instantly as he did.

“Are you the transfers? Nice to meet you! I’m Jay. We spoke on the phone.”

You spoke up first when it became clear Heeseung was far too anxious to talk. “Hi! I’m Y/N, and this is Heeseung. Nice to meet you too.”

“Welcome aboard,” Jay said, easily picking up your suitcase before you could object. Heeseung fumbled for his own. “My roommates are just finishing getting your apartment ready. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Shouldn’t that be the school’s job?” you asked, following him up the stairs.

“This place can be a bit of a circus, believe it or not,” Jay remarked, making you and Heeseung exchange glances. When you reached the fifth floor, not a single hair on his head was out of place even though your bag was heavy as fuck.

“Thank you,” you said.

“No problem. That’s us over there,” he said, pointing to the first door on the level, “and this is you guys.”

The apartment was modestly-sized and simple, but clean and otherwise perfect. Jay introduced you to his first roommate Jake, who was sitting at the kitchen counter when you arrived.

“Thanks for setting all of this up for us. It must’ve been a lot of work,” Heeseung said, finally speaking after you elbowed him in the side (be normal, man). “You’ve been so helpful.”

“It’s nothing. Jay and I both transferred here last semester too, so we know how hard it can be,” Jake said kindly, waving away your gratitude. “Our other roommate did the same for us back then.”

“Speaking of which, Hoon! Come out here and meet the new students!” Jay called.

A third voice came floating from down the corridor. “Coming!”

When the aforementioned roommate emerged from the corridor, your heart stopped. Your blood turned to lead in your veins. Your ears began ringing, the sound so loud it washed away almost everything else.

You could barely hear Jake as he said, “Hoon, these are our new neighbours, Heeseung and Y/N. Guys, this is-”

“Sunghoon,” you finished. His name came out of your mouth, but it didn’t sound like your voice. Your hands were numb.

“Y/N,” Sunghoon said, at the exact same time.

Although he was taller now, with a broader frame, a sharper jaw, and a deeper voice, it was still him. He was frozen in shock, looking right at you, unblinking. He had on a white t-shirt that read ‘rise above’ that he’d had since the first year of high school — you bought it for him for his fifteenth birthday. It had been massively oversized on his thin body back then, but now he filled it out nicely.

Right there, as you stood in the kitchen of your new apartment, all the guilt and heartbreak and mourning that you thought you had left behind in the child that died three years ago came rushing back to you, squeezing the air from your lungs.

And in that moment you were reminded yet again of the lesson you had spent the last three years of your life learning day after day after day: movies lied.

The real heartbreak was never the big fight. It was every time after when the other person crossed your mind in idle thoughts or memories, every time you saw or heard something that reminded you of them, every time you pulled up their contact on your phone and read the distant timestamp of your final conversation.

It was every belonging of theirs they left behind in your childhood bedroom, and everything you owned that had been a gift from them. It was every food you ever ate together and every song you ever listened to together and every place you ever went to together.

It was every time they reached out from beyond the grave and touched some part of your life and you had to lose them all over again.

You looked at him, and he looked at you. His eyes hadn’t changed at all. You were sixteen once more: standing in his kitchen making cinnamon rolls, locking your bedroom door behind him after the last time you spoke because you were scared he would return, desperately running away from him in the school halls.

He glanced down at your hands, your fingers laced together to hide the fact that they were shaking. You had a habit of doing that when you were nervous. Around your left wrist was a silver bracelet, one that he’d gotten you on a whim six years ago. You still had it. And you still wore it. And it was you.

Jay smiled cheerily, oblivious. “Do you guys know each other?”

——————————

Your first week of your second year was amazing. You were finally at your dream university in your dream major, with a full-ride scholarship under your belt and your best friend right by your side. It was everything you and Heeseung had worked so hard for.

The building you lived in was a dorm just for music scholars, a small, close-knit group of under thirty students. Most of them, like Jay and Jake, also bled money.

But your experience was somewhat soured by one thing: Park Sunghoon. He was everywhere.

Of course, that was to be expected. It was a small cohort, the only new friends you’d made so far were his roommates, and you were literally neighbours.

After the day you’d moved in, neither of you had spoken a word to each other. You ran into him constantly, and you were always going to classes and grabbing lunch together, but you’d never talked to him directly. He was just always there.

On Thursday, as the five of you left a lecture together, Sunghoon politely excused himself. “I won’t join you guys for lunch today. I need to pick up something from the shops.”

So you found yourself sitting in the food court with Heeseung, Jay, and Jake. When the conversation naturally fizzled out, it was only quiet for a few seconds before Jay clapped his hands together and asked, “Okay, I’ll bite. What’s the deal with you and Sunghoon?”

You looked at Heeseung for guidance. On that first night, you’d already told him everything. He shrugged.

“Uh- well. We grew up together, and when we were sixteen we had a falling out,” you answered cautiously.

“Then you lost touch?” Jake frowned.

“You could say that,” you said, reaching for Heeseung’s hand under the table and adding, “I think Sunghoon should probably be the one to tell you the rest, though. When he’s ready.”

——————————

At Heeseung’s insistence (listen, you’re clearly still hurting over this, and it would be good for you to talk to him, at least), you bullied yourself into texting Sunghoon at the end of your first week. With trembling hands, you asked him if he would meet you in the botanical gardens on Sunday. He replied almost instantly: what time?

Waiting for him on a park bench, chronically early as you always were, you were bouncing your leg so much that the entire bench was shaking. The last time you’d spoken to him was over three years ago, when you’d pleaded with him to get out of your room.

You had drawn up an agreement with Heeseung that morning: if things went south, you would send him an S.O.S. message so he could come by and pretend to whisk you away to tend to an Urgent Apartment Matter. You even programmed your phone to text him automatically if you pressed your power button five times in a row. He called you ‘insufferably paranoid’, which you took as a compliment.

Sunghoon was a minute late, and, by the looks of it, just as anxious as you were.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

He sat down next to you, a polite distance away. It was almost like how you used to sit in your neighbourhood park late at night after you’d aged out of the playground, eating convenience store ramen together until a concerned stranger or annoyed police officer told you to go home.

You both looked around for a while before you couldn’t take it anymore and bit the bullet. “How have you been?” you asked, stilted.

“Good. I’ve been good.” He cleared his throat and rubbed his sweaty palms on his jeans, nodding at nothing. “What about you?”

“Good.” You paused too, searching your brain for something to say.

“I went to military school,” he blurted out, knowing you were too polite to ask him directly. “Um- for the last two years of high school. That’s why I disappeared.”

Military school? So the rumours floating around the town had been right.

“Madam Choi kept asking me about you,” you told him after a while. Madam Choi was the sweet, grandmotherly owner of the convenience store on the corner of your street who always asked how you were doing and chastised you for eating too many snacks even though your unhealthy diets kept her shop afloat. It was the only topic you could think of that wasn’t too painful to bring up.

Sunghoon laughed at that, a sound you hadn’t heard for years. He loosened up, and you did too. Your awkwardness gradually began melting away as he told you about Jay and Jake, about his time at military school, and about all the cool spots in the city you should check out. You told him about Heeseung, your previous university, and how you didn’t know how to navigate your new university’s portal because it was designed to frustrate.

Conspicuously, neither of you brought up the past. Reminiscing was off the table, an arrangement implicitly reached between you two at some point during the conversation. Even when you finally worked up the courage to ask what you’d been wanting to ask for the last three years, you still couldn’t bring yourself anywhere close to acknowledging what happened.

“Are you still mad at me?” you asked.

Sunghoon didn’t hesitate for even a second, which made you smile. “No.”

As he continued talking, however, it became clear that he was considering every word he said before he said it. He was careful, deliberate, holding back.

“I’ve grown up since then,” he said slowly. “I haven’t been mad for a long time. Actually, I wanted to thank you for doing what you did. I could have been sitting in jail by now.” He clasped his hands together and turned to you. “Are you still mad at me?”

You were equally as assured and quick with your own response. “No. I was never mad at you.”

“You should’ve been,” he joked. “I caused you so much trouble, always waking you up in the middle of the night and crashing in your room.”

You laughed and shook your head. “I’m happy things worked out for you, Hoon. And that you got into university despite everything that happened,” you said.

“Thanks,” he smiled. Although the rest of him looked older and more mature, his smile remained the same.

“If I’d done those things I never would’ve gotten a second chance,” you mused, more to yourself than to him, but he heard it anyway.

Instantly, his mood soured.

“Okay, so did you rat on me to protect me and my future? Or because you were jealous? Because that sounds like jealousy,” he snapped.

Shit. You reached for your phone and pressed the home button five times. But he wasn’t wrong.

Yes, you had been worried about him as you’d said back then, but you were also jealous. Not of his new friends, but of his life. His parents were rich, and he had two of them. If he had gone out that night and been caught, there was a non-zero chance that he could have gotten off with a slap on the wrist.

His parents had the money to ship him off to a private military school for two whole years at the drop of a hat, and he’d been able to come straight to your dream university. If you had joined him and Jeongmin that night, you would’ve been locked up without question.

“You ruined my life,” Sunghoon hissed, his eyes now dark and his body tense. “Do you know that?”

“You ruined your own life when you were planning to commit arson and didn’t listen to me when I told you to stop,” you countered.

He set his jaw and turned away with a scoff. “I can’t believe you.”

In the distance, you saw Heeseung jogging over to you. He must’ve been hiding in another part of the park, waiting. You weren’t the only insufferably paranoid one, it seemed.

“This isn’t how I wanted today to go, Hoon,” you sighed.

“Don’t call me that,” he spat, standing up.

“Y/N!” Heeseung shouted as he reached the bench. His face fell the moment he saw the look in your eyes. “There is an Urgent Apartment Matter. We must tend to it right away,” he stuttered, grabbing your hand and yanking you to your feet before Sunghoon even had the time to blink.

The two of you ran.

——————————

You and Sunghoon had swiftly gone right back to ignoring each other, which was pretty impressive considering you were almost always together. Jay and Jake seemed annoyingly hell-bent on taking you and Heeseung under their wing — as fellow transfers themselves, they wanted to help you acclimatise — and Sunghoon didn’t have any other friends. So he was constantly with you in classes, at parties, or hanging out in your goddamn apartment.

He spent more time staring at you than he would have liked to admit. In between gaps in conversations, or when you were distracted by one of Jay’s dissertation-length speeches about some inane topic or stupid fact, he got the chance to really look at you for the first time in years. Every time he did he felt a strange ache in his chest. You were like an actor he already knew playing a character he’d never seen before.

“Dude, why would you even say that? You called them a hypocrite?” Jake chastised, when Sunghoon finally revealed the details behind your falling out in high school a few days after Sunday.

“I just can’t imagine you as that kind of guy,” Jay said, stunned. He was still trying to picture Park Sunghoon, the would-be arsonist.

Often, Sunghoon found himself staring not when Jay was rambling or Jake was telling you a joke, but specifically when you were with Heeseung. There was something about the way you two interacted that made his heart sting. You were comfortable with him, and he with you.

You knew he liked to sit on the inside of restaurant booths facing the door, and he knew your Subway order by heart. You kept track of the stock of his favourite drinks in your fridge, and he always had a spare charger in his bag for all the times you forgot to bring your own. You were so in tune with each other that you would tell when the other wanted to go home without needing to ask and built effortlessly on each other’s jokes. You even kind of talked the same.

“And then you said it again? Are you serious?” Jay groaned in frustration when he heard the park story. Everyone had noticed the considerable shift in mood between you and Sunghoon since Sunday, but no one had dared to mention it.

“They’re trying so hard with you, man. Why would you do that?” Jake sighed.

Sunghoon pulled hard at his hair, equally frustrated, and flopped face down on the sofa. “I don’t know! It just came out.”

There was a substantial part of him that kmew it was because he was scared he hadn’t changed. That he was still the kind of person who called their best friend a hypocrite and accused them of being jealous when they tried to protect him. That you could see that, and that Jay and Jake would realise it soon too.

The other day at the juice bar Heeseung bought you a warm honey lemon tea. When he ordered it, you and Sunghoon immediately looked at each other before turning away. Windows open to air out the stench of cigarette smoke. Your secret stash of lemons and honey. Yellow post-it notes on your bedside table. All the hours you spent taking care of him, even as he spiralled out of control.

You hadn’t even asked for it; Heeseung somehow knew you had a sore throat that day without you telling him. Apparently he could hear it in your voice, which was (according to him) slightly scratchy and hoarse. Sunghoon couldn’t hear a thing, though. You sounded the exact same to him.

It was clear that Heeseung was familiar with the person you were now, that he knew you, and he knew how to be your best friend. That was a skill that Sunghoon had lost years ago, and clearly he didn’t quite know you anymore.

At the park you hadn’t cried once, although he was sure the sixteen-year-old you would have. Perhaps you just cried less now. Perhaps you’d given up on him and no longer expected anything else from him but to be disappointed.

“You need to apologise to them,” Jake scolded.

“They won’t forgive me,” Sunghoon mumbled into the sofa fabric.

Jay threw a pillow at him. “No offence, Hoon, but from what you’ve told us I think you’re a pretty shit judge of character.”

——————————

You had the apartment to yourself that Thursday night because Heeseung had rented a studio to practise after-hours and wouldn’t be back till sunrise. Someone knocked on your door. When you didn’t answer it immediately, a painfully familiar voice rang out from the other side.

“It’s me.”

Dread was not an emotion you’d ever associated with Sunghoon, but it was all you felt when you opened the door for him. When you were kids he never waited for you to do so; he always just let himself in. You sat down at the kitchen counter together, side by side.

“Since when do you watch Queer Eye?” he asked, noticing your laptop screen.

“Heeseung introduced me to it,” you said, pushing a glass of water across the counter to him. His face darkened at the name, but you chose to ignore it. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Sunghoon bit his lip. “I wanted to say I’m sorry,” he started, wooden. While he’d seemed guarded and on edge on Sunday, now he seemed scared. “For what I said to you. And for- for everything.”

You sat rigidly on the bar stool, self-conscious, not knowing what to say.

“I had a lot of time to think over the last three years, and I realised I was insecure. I was so desperate to be seen as ‘cool’ and Jeongmin knew that. You were right; he was preying on me because he could tell how much I wanted to be a part of his world. You saw right through me because you knew- you know me better than anyone. So I lashed out at you.

“I tried so hard to put that part of my life behind me — I never told Jay or Jake about it, even — and when you came back I panicked. It was a reminder of all the fucked up things I did and the person I used to be. I didn’t want to have to deal with it, and I took it out on you again.

“I’m sorry. And thank you. For always being there for me to pick up the pieces. I never deserved that sort of kindness.”

He watched you nervously, waiting for a response. You reached for the rubber band around your wrist and snapped it. It didn’t hurt, but it helped to distract you. He glanced down at your hand, recognising another of your old habits.

“Stop doing that,” he chided, his eyes watering. At that moment, he sounded just like he used to when you were younger. You remembered him saying those exact words in that exact tone. Of all the things he had said, that was what made you want to cry.

“I missed you so much,” you finally admitted after a long pause, inhaling shakily. “I felt like I ruined our friendship. I never stopped wondering if I made the right decision, I- I thought I’d lost you forever.”

He wrapped his arms around you, hugging you tight. His hugs were just comforting as they had been when you were growing up. He was much stronger than you remembered, although perhaps you should have expected that. He’d changed his cologne since.

“You have nothing to feel guilty about,” he told you, stroking your hair gently. When you separated his eyes were shining with tears. He laughed, sniffling, holding your face in his hands.

“Can we be friends again?” you whispered.

“I’d like that,” he said, letting you go and hesitating for a few seconds before he next spoke. “Do you know what motivated me to change when I was in military school?”

“What?” You hugged him one last time before unconsciously reaching for your rubber band. Catching this, he raised an eyebrow and glanced pointedly at your wrist. You stopped, feeling scolded.

“The last time we talked back in high school, you thought I was going to hit you,” he began carefully. He took a deep breath, suddenly unable to look you in the eye now. “Seeing how scared you were, the fear on your face, I- I never wanted to make anyone feel like that again. Especially not you. I’m sorry.”

He’d started crying. He hardly ever cried when you were kids. You wiped away his tears with your shirt sleeve.

“Don’t be a stranger, okay?” he begged, clutching onto you with a vice grip. Between you and him he had always been the calm one, but now he was shaking and you could feel it.

You squeezed his hand. “I won’t.”

——————————

Something in you was repaired that day.

You were telling the truth when you said you had never stopped feeling guilty about what you did. Not being able to speak to Sunghoon after, not even knowing where he was or what he was doing, it had wrecked you.

For years you’d lived with the thought that the only person you’d ever trusted had always secretly resented you. Maybe everyone did — maybe you were a pest, a hypocrite, a loser. It made it hard for you to form new connections. Heeseung had chipped away at your defences for months before you felt safe enough to call him your friend.

But now you were sitting on the floor of Sunghoon’s living room, sharing a vodka Sprite with Heeseung while you watched the others play Mario Kart, and everything was fine.

You hadn’t spent too much time with Sunghoon alone, although the five of you were constantly together. Jake had even joked about blocking off the fifth floor from the other scholars and just leaving both of your front doors open to form one big apartment for the five of you. Functionally, it wouldn’t be that different from how you were already living.

“I’m hungry,” Heeseung piped up, pouting and nudging you. “Go buy me some chips?”

“Why can’t you go?” you asked.

“My head hurts,” he whined. If he was dehydrated, the smallest drop of alcohol could give him splitting headaches. “Don’t kick a man while he’s down.”

Before you could retort, Sunghoon handed him his Switch controller. “Hee, you play. I’ll go with them,” he offered.

“Thanks, man. Use my rewards card,” Heeseung said, handing you his wallet instead of just taking the rewards card out and passing that to you.

You used to joke that you could so easily max out all of his credit cards if you wanted to, but he swiftly pointed out that you also had a habit of giving him your entire wallet when he asked to borrow money or your transport card.

“I still can’t believe we've been in this city for just over a month and you already have six rewards cards,” you laughed, putting on your shoes.

As you and Sunghoon were walking out the door, Heeseung was still shouting, “Think of the points, dude! The points!”

The convenience store was just across the road from your dorm building, which was, as its name suggested, pretty convenient. Not as good for your heart health and nutrition, but whatever. It was drizzling slightly, but not enough for either of you to have bothered with an umbrella.

“Heeseung is so obsessed with collecting rewards points,” you joked, fiddling with his rewards card.

Sunghoon chuckled. “Is he always like that?”

You nodded. “Since I met him. You like him, though, right?”

“Yeah, I do. He’s fun,” he said. He wasn’t lying; he did actually like Heeseung. But he would be lying if he said your closeness to him didn’t bother him at all. Sunghoon didn’t want to think too much about the possible implications of his jealousy.

“I’m glad. I really like Jay and Jake, too,” you told him, pushing open the convenience store door. “I’ll go get Deungie’s chips, because he likes some weird obscure flavours.”

“I’ll get the normal stuff for everyone else,” Sunghoon said, asking, “the usual for you, yeah?”

You thought of the convenience store in your hometown, of Madam Choi, of your regular weekend sleepovers back in school. Rehearsed and practised, you two were in and out of the store in under two minutes. What did that say about either of you, that you were so skilled at buying snacks that you worked together like a well-oiled machine?

The drizzle was marginally heavier when you left. It was a short walk, but Sunghoon took off his white baseball cap and fixed it atop your head anyway.

“Thanks, Hoon,” you smiled. You never bothered fighting him when he did things like that for you; you hadn’t as a kid and you still didn’t now. He wouldn’t do it unless he wanted to, and he wasn’t the type to accept your refusals of help.

But it felt different years later, and you couldn’t quite put your finger on it.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked, amused.

You quickly averted your gaze, not having noticed you’d been looking at him. “It’s just weird to have you back,” you said.

You’d had this conversation with him at least a dozen times over the last month. It still hadn’t quite sunk in yet that he was back in your life and you were back in his. That you hadn’t destroyed the life of your best friend by being a hypocrite.

Since then, you’d spent a lot of time thinking about the person you used to be: full of self-loathing and insecurity and fear that you would eventually ruin every relationship you had. Heeseung had been slightly hurt that you hadn’t told him about Sunghoon when it all happened. You admitted to him that you were scared he would think of you as a bad person.

Sunghoon smiled. “Is it a good weird or a bad weird?”

“It’s a good weird. I missed this,” you answered, holding up the bag of snacks in your hand. As was your usual routine, you carried the snacks and he carried the drinks, having immediately fallen into step.

He playfully bumped into you as you walked, though not nearly hard enough to knock you off balance. “I missed you,” he said, before reaching for his keys.

The conversation was the same, but the butterflies in your stomach were definitely a new development.

——————————

Since you reconnected, Sunghoon hadn’t been able to stop thinking about you.

“Dude, are you jealous of Heeseung?” Jay asked him one night, out of the blue, after you and Heeseung left their apartment to head back to your own. Well, it wasn’t entirely out of the blue; even he couldn’t deny that.

“Can’t I be jealous of my ex-best friend’s new best friend?” Sunghoon replied, already defensive.

“That’s not why you’re jealous, though, is it?” Jay pressed. “You’re posturing around him and you can’t stop looking at Y/N.”

“Shut up.” He was right, and deep down Sunghoon knew it.

He was never going to be your best friend again, and he wasn’t trying to be. Neither of you were the same people you had been three years ago, and you were different enough that if you met now, you probably wouldn’t have been close. You both had new friends, people who suited your current selves better.

He wanted to be something else.

“You need to tone down the staring, man. It’s getting a little too obvious,” Jake said. “Even Heeseung mentioned it to me the other day.”

Sunghoon swore under his breath. “He did?” Heeseung, of all people, noticing — had he mentioned it to you?

“For what it’s worth, I’m pretty sure they’re just friends,” Jay added, trying to be comforting.

Sunghoon sighed and finished his drink. It was a gin and tonic which he’d made so strong that it was basically straight gin with a drizzle of tonic water. He winced.

“I know, but they do everything together,” he mumbled, just barely self-aware enough to realise he was whining. “That used to be me.”

“They’re happy, you’re happy, and you guys are friends again. Isn't that what you wanted? Why focus on the past when you could be focusing on right now?” Jake asked.

“Because they trusted me for sixteen years and I basically told them I’d secretly hated them the whole time,” Sunghoon said, his voice rising. “I ruined them, and I’ll never forgive myself for that.”

Jay scowled and crossed his arms, kicking Sunghoon’s foot with his own. “You didn’t ruin anyone. They’re fine. You’re not the only thing that’s ever happened to them, and if you keep thinking like that you’ll never fully repair your relationship.”

Sunghoon stared at his empty glass. He needed another drink.

——————————

“It’s been two months since we moved here,” Heeseung told you randomly one day. You were at a ramen bar for dinner with him and Sunghoon to celebrate getting through the first half of the semester. Also, you were all out of food at home and neither of you were in the mood to cook.

“Has it?” You checked the date on your phone. Sure enough, he was right. You hadn’t even realised.

“It doesn’t feel like it,” Sunghoon said. You’d started looking at Sunghoon differently.

Firstly, he looked different. He towered over his former self, his shoulders were much wider than you recalled, and he’d lost some fat on his face, making his cheeks and jaw more angular. He wore his black hair longer than he used to and he didn’t have nearly as many dark colours in his wardrobe.

He’d always been good-looking, but you had never really recognised that before. Now, though, it was always on your mind. Now, when he smiled at you or fixed your hair after he put his cap on your head or leaned over you to plug in his laptop in lecture theatres, you got nervous.

His gestures had always made you feel warm and comfortable, but now they were also starting to make you feel shy. You’d never been particularly touchy with him even as kids — you shared beds with a wall of pillows in between you two — but now you couldn’t even bear the thought of holding onto his sleeve in a crowd so you wouldn’t get separated.

“Oi.” Heeseung kicked you hard under the table and pointed at your nearly empty bowl. “Earth to Y/N. Are you done?”

They were both staring at you. How long had you been zoning out?

“What? Yeah, I’m done. Did you say something?” you asked.

Heeseung laughed and pressed his index finger to the top of your head, pretending to push you down like a button, which he always did when he was making fun of you. He definitely knew what you’d been lost in thought about (do you know how much Sunghoon stares at you nowadays? I think he hates me).

“Heeseung said he’s meeting Jay and Jake at the studio,” Sunghoon filled you in, much more helpful. “So we can go home, or if you want we can walk around some more.” He sounded expectant, like he was hoping you’d agree to the latter. You did.

——————————

Once you saw Heeseung off at the bus stop, Sunghoon brought you to a run-down building four streets away from the ramen bar. In the hip, fashionable district of the city, amidst the trendy shops and cafés, the mould and peeling paint and water damage of the building made it stick out like a blister.

You looked at the building, and then at him, and then back at the building. “Is this an assassination attempt?” you asked.

“Trust me,” he said, pushing the rusty steel door open with his foot.

“That’s not an answer. And your refusal to touch the door with your hands doesn’t exactly inspire trust,” you laughed, but you followed him with no hesitation.

It felt almost like when you used to go exploring the outskirts of your hometown by yourselves, far too late at night for kids your age. But this time, you didn’t have any snacks with you, nor games to keep yourselves occupied.

Sunghoon made a face at you and ushered you inside. “Shut up. I’m the city native here.”

“You’ve only been here a year longer than me,” you pointed out, looking around. The building wasn’t so much a building as it was a stairwell. Stuffy, dark, and dingy, it made you feel suffocated. “I’m going to die here,” you declared, sighing in resignation.

He rolled his eyes. “Oh my god. It’s not even that bad.”

As if on cue, the door slammed shut behind you, the sound echoing ominously in the tight space. What little light that had been coming in from the street lamps outside disappeared, except for a sliver of amber forcing its way through a gap in the door frame. He cursed under his breath.

“Hoon,” you called, desperately trying to spot him in the darkness, the rising panic clear in your words. “I swear, if I die tonight I’ll never stop haunting you.”

His reply came immediately, calm and measured, reassuring. “I’m right here. Give me your hand.”

You turned around at the sound of his voice and reached out blindly in front of you, hitting his shoulder. He found your hand and took it in his, the feeling of his palm against yours somehow soothing and stressful at the same time.

“You’re still scared of the dark?” he asked, joking, trying to ease your fear.

He used to scold you all the time for always sleeping with your light on, but no matter how many articles he sent you about why sleeping in the dark was important for healthy melatonin production, you never listened. Whenever he slept over in your room, he used an eye mask.

“Shut up, please.” Your voice was quiet and unconvincing; actually, you wanted nothing more than for him to keep talking. You couldn’t see anything, and all you had to ground you was his voice and his hand in yours.

He squeezed your hand, softening his tone. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realise it would be this dark. It’s worth it, I promise.”

He led you up three flights of stairs by the hand and walked face first into what you assumed to be a locked door. “Ow. Motherfucker.”

You cackled at that.

The room (if you could call it that, since it was barely bigger than a cupboard) was lit with a single filament light bulb hanging from the ceiling. Aside from a couple of cardboard boxes, some pillows, and a bean bag, it was empty.

“That’s your old bean bag. The one you had in your room,” you said, recognising the green fabric immediately. You tensed when he brushed past you to shut the door to the room (supply cupboard?), but you tried your best to ignore it.

“Yeah, I brought it with me. I get homesick sometimes, so it helps,” he told you, sitting down on the small pile of pillows. You took the bean bag.

“It smells worse than I remembered,” you said, patting it. He pushed you in retaliation, laughing at you when you lost your balance.

“I have snacks and drinks in this box, and comics and books in that one,” he explained. “I wanted to get a mini-fridge in here but there isn’t an outlet.”

This was exactly how you used to spend your weekends when you didn’t have to study: snacks, drinks, and reading. Except now he handed you a can of hard seltzer instead of his yoghurt drinks of yore.

“Is this legal? Does the building owner know you’re here?” you asked, somewhat sceptical. But you opened the can anyway and took a sip. It was warm, but not unpleasant.

“Of course. I’m a law abiding citizen.”

“You just jaywalked about ten minutes ago.”

“I’m generally a law abiding citizen.” He dug around in the box some more and produced a can of sangria (you despised sangria), gesturing to the room. “What do you think? Pretty cool, right?”

“Very,” you nodded, making yourself comfortable in the bean bag. You felt like you were in high school again, although you didn’t recall your spine hurting nearly as much then. Perhaps you were getting old. You needed proper back support now.

He kicked off his shoes. “Fuck off,” he laughed.

“I wasn’t being sarcastic!” you yelled, before you noticed- “My red shrimp socks!”

“Oh, right.” He glanced down at his feet and started casually taking the socks off. “Do you want them back?”

You gagged. “Not right now, dumbo!”

He used to be able to detect your sarcasm perfectly, always reading your tone with no margin of error, although it was probably unfair to expect him to still be able to after so many years.

“Come home with me,” Sunghoon said suddenly, still looking at his (your) socks. You looked at him, puzzled. “After the semester ends. We should go visit our families,” he added.

You thought for a minute and agreed. “I think my dad misses you.”

“My parents miss you too.” He leant back against the wall behind him, closed his eyes, and rested his head on your shoulder, declaring, “I’m tired.”

The room was so dark and small and quiet. His black hair tickled your neck, even though you could tell he was trying not to move around too much. You prayed he couldn’t hear how fast your heart rate had become. He’d always been a sleepy drinker, and you’d all been drinking pretty liberally during dinner earlier.

You tried to relax, as much as you could with his body pressed against yours, and closed your eyes too. So you didn’t see him reach for your hand until you felt his touch directly. He took your hand and pulled it into his lap, interlocking his fingers with yours and fiddling with your silver bracelet. You froze, your breathing shallow and your muscles tense.

“This is from that old charity shop behind the fruit store,” he mumbled, running the pad of his thumb over your knuckles. You could feel the vibrations of his throat against your shoulder as he spoke. “I bought it for you.”

“Hoon,” you said softly, your eyes now wide open. He hummed in response, still playing with your hand. “What are you doing?”

His reply was a non-answer. “I miss home.”

Tentatively, you lifted your hand to his head, stroking his hair in what you hoped would be a comforting gesture. He stayed quiet. His closeness was simultaneously the most nerve-wracking and most comforting thing. In all your life, you couldn’t ever recall sitting like this with him.

“Are you okay? Do you want to talk?” you asked, pulling your hand away, worried now.

He grabbed it and returned it to his hair, moving even closer to you. “That feels nice,” he sighed. His breath was warm against your neck, while the tip of his nose was cold. It made you shiver. “I’m fine. I just haven’t been home in a while.”

You felt terrible for never really having thought about what his two years in military school, being ripped away from his family at such short notice, must’ve been like. As far as you were aware he didn’t get to visit his family until he graduated, and you only knew that because you spent your own high school graduation period locked up in your house to avoid running into him.

Against your best efforts, the guilt came rushing back. You closed your eyes again and continued playing with Sunghoon’s hair, just how he liked it.

——————————

Two weeks later, you still didn’t know what to make of that night. You told Heeseung everything and asked him if you were going insane.

“Do you like him?” Heeseung asked as you two got ready to leave the house. You were going out to get drinks with the others.

“I don’t know,” you groaned, yanking the windows shut much harder than you had intended. He jumped at the sound, and you winced. “Sorry. I hate this, man.”

“Do you want my opinion?” he asked.

“It depends on what it is.”

He snorted. “I think you do like him and you don’t want to admit it. Why is that?”

You rushed to put on your shoes as he waited for you. “I just- what if this fucks up our friendship a second time? There’s too much history between us, right?”

“Well, your heart doesn’t seem to think so,” he said, opening the front door. The neighbouring front door opened too, at the exact same time, and out stepped Sunghoon. He broke into a wide smile the second he saw you.

Heeseung lowered his head and said quietly, “Clearly, he doesn’t think so, either.”

——————————

You were far too nervous to drink even after the forty minute journey to the bar. Heeseung’s words hadn’t left your head for even a second, and he could definitely tell from the way he kept grinning at you.

“Are you sure you don’t want any?” Heeseung asked for the third time, offering you his glass. You had the same taste in drinks, so you usually shared.

“I don’t feel like drinking tonight,” you said, again for the third time.

“Guess who else isn’t drinking tonight,” he teased, way too loud, nodding to Sunghoon and his glass of water. That didn’t even make sense.

“Shut up,” you hissed. Heeseung giggled, already tipsy, and leaned on you. Sunghoon caught your eye from across the table and smiled. If he’d heard what the other man said, he showed no indication of it. You smiled back.

Jake returned to the table, tapping Heeseung on the shoulder.

“I can’t do it anymore. It’s your turn,” Jake sighed, exasperated, collapsing into his seat. He’d been on wingman duty for Jay, and (apparently, because you’d never been unlucky enough to witness it yourself) Jay was a terrible flirt.

Heeseung picked up his glass, downed what was left in it in one gulp, and set it back down on the table with a loud thump. “Alright, here I go,” he declared. You watched him carefully as he walked over to the bar, but he didn’t seem too drunk yet. He’d be fine.

At the booth behind where Jay was, however, you saw someone else who made your blood run cold.

“Hoon, don’t turn around, but Jeongmin is here,” you began. Jeongmin was staring intensely at you. Sunghoon sat up straight in alarm. Maybe you looked familiar to him and he was trying to place you.

Jake, ever the quick thinker, said, “You guys should leave. I’ll stay and let Jay and Hee know what happened.” Sunghoon was still frozen.

“Thanks, Jake. Pass these to Heeseung for me.” You fished your keys (Heeseung hadn’t brought his own) out of your pocket to toss them to Jake, grabbed Sunghoon by the arm, and dragged him out of the bar.

“Aren’t you sober? Why don’t your legs work?” you grunted, trying to shake him to attention and pull him down the street at the same time. A passing car revving its engine snapped him out of it, whatever it was.

“Fuck, yeah. Sorry,” Sunghoon mumbled. Before you could even ask him if he was okay, what you’d been trying so hard to avoid happened.

“Park Sunghoon.”

You could pick out Jeongmin’s voice anywhere. It was low, rough, and sharp. He somehow looked identical to how he looked back in high school, if only slightly thinner and more tired.

“You. You called the cops on us that night,” Jeongmin hissed. jabbing an accusatory finger at Sunghoon.

“I didn’t,” Sunghoon stated calmly, but you could tell he was on edge. He subtly pushed you behind him.

“Yeah, right. On the one night we get busted the new kid just happens to not show up,” Jeongmin scoffed, taking a step towards you.

Sunghoon held up his hands. “Look, man, I don’t want to fight. I didn’t call the cops on you.”

Jeongmin squared his shoulders and punched him hard in the jaw without warning. The silver ring he was wearing drew a deep red gash across Sunghoon’s cheek.

As if on auto-pilot, like it was second nature to him, Sunghoon immediately returned the blow with a punch of his own before you even had the time to think. You gasped, Jeongmin’s nose cracked, and Sunghoon took advantage of the distraction to kick him hard in the knee, knocking him to the ground.

Then he grabbed your hand and ran.

——————————

The walk back to the dorm was silent. Sunghoon’s lips were pressed tightly together, his eyebrows were furrowed, and his fists were clenched like he was trying not to cry. You remembered the days when you, not him, were usually the one who needed comforting.

It reassured you to some degree, though, that he wouldn’t hide his sadness from you like he used to. You reached for his hand the second you were out of Jeongmin’s line of sight and threaded your fingers between his. His knuckles were bruised.

Wordlessly, he handed you his keys and you unlocked his front door.

“Do you have a first aid kit?” you asked.

“Under the kitchen sink,” he said flatly, sitting down on the sofa.

You pulled it out from the back corner of the kitchen cabinet with great difficulty, joined him on the sofa, and started cleaning the cut on his jaw. He winced when the alcohol swab made contact with his skin.

“Sorry. I’m almost done,” you promised, tossing the swab aside and covering the cut up. It took all of twenty seconds. “Do you want to talk?”

Sunghoon closed his eyes and sighed, dropping his head. “I shouldn’t have hit him. I thought I was past that behaviour. I don’t-”

He stopped talking. You put your hand over his and waited. His bottom lip started to quiver as he held back tears.

“I don’t want to be that person again,” he sobbed, and the sound broke your heart.

Through the school grapevine you heard about fights with kids of neighbouring schools, breaking and entering, the like. But even now, so many years later, you didn’t fully know what he did with Jeongmin and his gang. You never asked, and he never volunteered that information.

He was crying. “I let my parents down. Every time I see them I just remember how angry they were at me. I’m a terrible son. Nothing I do will ever be able to erase that I humiliated them, I failed them, I brought shame to the whole family, I-”

You pulled him into a hug, feeling how his body trembled as he fought to speak.

“You’re not a terrible son, Hoon,” you whispered, as he sobbed into your hair.

He shook his head and pushed you away. “I shouldn’t have hit him. I think I broke his nose,” he repeated, almost frantic in his insistence. It wasn’t a state you’d seen him in before.

“But he hit you first,” you noted.

Finally, at your childish response, he cracked a small smile. “Weren’t you always the one who said violence was never the answer?” he laughed. His eyes were still glistening with tears, but at least he’d calmed down.

“Usually it isn’t, but I don’t subscribe to universal codes of human conduct anymore,” you told him. “Do you?”

He paused for a bit, staring at you, unable to find the words to reply. You smiled, swiped the tears on his cheeks away with a gentle hand, and got up to put away the first aid kit. It was late, and you were both tired.

“I love you,” Sunghoon said over his shoulder, his voice still thick with emotion. He said that often nowadays, although it wasn’t something he did previously. Neither of you ever felt the need to declare that when you were younger; it was a given.

“I love you too, Hoon,” you replied, still busy trying to make room in the cluttered space under his kitchen sink for the kit.

All the traces of his crying vanished when he next spoke. “No, I’m in love with you.”

You dropped the package of sponges in your hands. Your mind went blank.

There was something about the phrase ‘in love’ that you had never really understood. It implied love was all consuming, like a physical swallowing whole of your being. You felt love for others, but you’d never felt it so much that you were in the state of love.

Until you heard it from him. And then you realised you were already there.

“Say something. Please,” he begged, panicked by your silence.

“Hoon-”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that,” he mumbled, cutting you off, leaning back against the sofa with a hand over his eyes.

Sunghoon was not an interrupter. In all the years you’d known him, the only time he’d ever interrupted you was during your big final fight in your bedroom, when you’d snitched on him.

You left the first aid kit on the floor and sat down next to him. He didn’t move. You tapped the back of his hand to get him to look at you. Reluctantly, he did, but only through the gaps between his fingers.

“I’m in love with you too,” you admitted.

He was speechless at hearing his words echoed back to him, frozen for a good ten seconds before his gaze flickered down to your lips.

“Can I?” he asked, his voice quiet.

You nodded, and he kissed you. He placed one hand on the back of your neck to pull you closer while his other hand, bruised knuckles and all, grabbed one of your own. He laced your fingers together tightly, like he never wanted to let you go.

Your free hand ghosted over the line of his jaw, past the bandage you’d just put on his face and down his neck to his chest, warm and solid. He shivered under your touch.

“I love you, Hoon,” you breathed when you separated.

He gave you one last quick kiss on the tip of your nose. “I’ll never get tired of hearing that,” he whispered giddily, brushing his thumb across your bottom lip.

For the first few weeks after you reconnected, both of you had tried to return to what you once were. But it quickly became clear that that was never going to happen. Even after you had paved over the road, underneath the new asphalt the old potholes were still there, and nothing you did would ever fully correct them.

You had to look forward. Sunghoon was never going to be your best friend again, not like before. You would never get back your old relationship, full of childlike innocence and void of conflict. But that was okay. You were here, and he was here, and that was enough.

“Then I’ll keep saying it. I love you, I love you, I love you,” you repeated, leaning into his side and laying your head on his shoulder.

“I love you too. So much,” he said, putting his arm around you and letting you tuck your head into the crook of his neck. “You have no idea.”

He was tired of running and hiding from who he used to be, and going on the defensive and lashing out every time he was confronted with his past. He was done torturing his sixteen-year-old self.

You and him had something new. It wasn’t better, it wasn’t more. It was just different. You had your whole lives in front of you — an endless stretch of even, untouched, fresh road — waiting for you, and it would be stupid to focus on what lay behind you. You still had so much left to explore together.

——————————

thanks for reading <3

-minastras

#enhypen #sunghoon #park sunghoon #enhypen x reader #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon angst #enhypen angst #sunghoon imagines #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios

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hopeastrz · 1 year

Text

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐃 𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐘 𝐎𝐁𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡

𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬 + 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝟑𝟎𝟎𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝟏𝟎𝟎 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐨 𝐮𝐧𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞; 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲🤎.

𝐀𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧 get along with men more than they do with other women, especially if it’s their venus. Men really just match their energies and it seems like they’ve got more luck with them?, like these hotties can pull.

𝐀𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐢𝐝 𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧/𝐀𝐂 𝐛𝐲 -𝟐 𝐨𝐫 𝟏 𝐨𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐭 gives you siren eyes, like damn you got me hypnotized and shit.

I have a theory about 𝐔𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐬 that basically says that where ever it lays in your chart tells us what’s the most surprising thing about you! Since Uranus represents surprising events in solar return charts!. Further explanation will be in a different post so stay tuned!.

𝟏𝟎𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐡 literally summons demons to tarnish your reputation, it’s not even funny, and the worst thing they might be family since 10th house opposites our 4th house.

𝐆𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 in natal chart tells you where you might be two faced. 𝟕𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢? In relationships. 𝟏𝟎𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢? In your workplace. 𝟏𝟏𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞? Between your friends!.

𝐀𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬, 𝐥𝐞𝐨, 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 aren’t really trying to steal your spotlight when they just jump in conversation saying things about them. Let me explain it properly— i just wanna apologize for what your about to read😭—

Person 1: “oh my god i really love this dessert!.”

Libra, Aries, Leo: “yes me too!, i ate at this place once and i—“

Person 1: “hey! why are you always talking about yourself!.”

You see here these signs aren’t really trying to talk about themselves or shift the conversation randomly, that’s just how they show you they care about you, by trying to relate to you!!! So don’t get them wrong please they are a sweethearts!.

Im really done with the stereotypical mysterious 𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐨𝐬. Once you get to know them they are literally the embodiment of emo raccoons, it’s literally just their eyes that gives this aura but they are really.. weird😭

And oh my god let’s not get started on 𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐨 𝐬��𝐧𝐬 who literally have no other prominent scorpio placement but just try to associate every single dark thing to them nonetheless, even if they have more than 5 soft placements, nope how dare you say they aren’t mysterious???? —these people tend to have the squishiest cheeks known to mankind btw—

Btw i think 𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐨 in our chart tells us where we feel most guilty. 𝟏𝟐𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐨?, maybe sleeping alot. 𝟑𝐫𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞? oversharing personal informations etc..

𝟕𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 hates their parents marriage and every time they start a fight, Saturn folks literally appear mid–argument carrying divorce papers and be like: “so when are you guys giving me a freaking break? JUST GET FUCKING DIVORCED ALREADY.”

𝐍𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 🤝 being in denial that your struggling and need actual help.

𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐨 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 aren’t the only thing that indicates femme fatale beauty. jesus.. have you seen 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐬/ 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧 once i see one of them i be like— wait why did my panties fall?

#astrology notes #astrology #astrology houses #astrology observations #astro notes #astrology asteroids #asteroids #astrology planets #astrology aspects #astrology degrees #astro placements

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itneverendshere · 10 days

Text

guilty conscience (+18)

chapter ii

pairing: rafe cameron x female!reader

summary: when ward cameron, a renowned business man and millionaire specifically requested your services through an escort agency, you assumed it would be just another job—brief and straightforward. however, your entire world shifted when ward disclosed his true intentions and rafe cameron stumbled into your life. there were rules, and rules were meant to be followed.

was money worth breaking someone’s heart?

Outer Banks, paradise on earth?

More like hell.

The scorching sun beat down mercilessly upon you, it felt like walking into a sweltering inferno, leaving you gasping for relief in the oppressive heat. You had always been a sucker for warmer weather, but this? This was unlike anything you’d ever experienced.

Each step you took was a struggle, the air thick with humidity that clung to your skin like a suffocating blanket. Glistening beads of sweat formed on your brow as you trudged along the street, wondering if Ward’s money was worth solar insulation.

Yeah, it was. But it was also, kind of unsettling.

You weren’t paid to think about the morality of the entire thing. It wasn’t your problem, right? It wasn't like you were paid to think about that stuff. Who were you to turn down an opportunity like this?

In a world where money spoke louder than anything else, you had to look out of yourself first.

You remembered the way Ward's eyes gleamed with a calculated intensity as he outlined the details of his latest scheme.

"In a couple weeks, my company is hosting a charity event," Ward had explained. "It's an open invitation affair, no need for formalities. That's where you'll have your first encounter with him."

Ward's instructions had been crystal clear like he was laying out a step-by-step guide for some high-stakes mission. As he pushed that envelope filled with cash across the table, your heart skipped a beat.

The bills were crisp and pristine, practically begging to be spent. You couldn't mess this up. The pressure was on, but you weren’t about to let that fat stack of cash slip through your fingers.

And just like that, weeks later, you found yourself standing outside the venue. The sweltering heat seemed even more oppressive as you made your way through the throngs of people. The whole scene felt like a fever dream, with the air thick with humidity and the sounds of laughter and chatter echoing all around.

You had spent ages agonizing over what to wear, finally settling on a breezy sundress adorned with floral patterns. Paired with simple sandals and delicate jewelry, you hoped to strike the perfect balance between casual elegance and summer chic.

As you made your way through the crowd and stepped into the outdoor venue, you couldn't help but be dazzled by the sight. Fairy lights twinkled overhead, casting a warm glow over the pier, while colorful decorations danced in the breeze. It was like stepping into a postcard-perfect paradise.

Focus. You were there for one thing and one thing only.

Your mind raced as you scanned the crowd, searching for Rafe. You couldn't afford to let him slip through your fingers.

And then, just like that, you spotted him.

Wow, okay. That was surprisingly easy.

He looked nothing like the old picture Ward had pulled out of his Hermes wallet. In that photo, he was just a cute kid, probably around sixteen, with a mischievous grin plastered on his face. But now? Now he was something else entirely.

You could tell he was insanely attractive, even from a distance, in a way that made your knees weak. Tall, impeccably dressed, and oh! You could see how pretty his eyes were from where you stood. His sandy blond hair was covered by a baseball cap on backward. And yeah, it made him look insanely douchey but for some sick reason, it only made you find him more attractive.

No wonder Ward wanted to keep girl’s pawns off him.

He moved through the crowd with ease, flashing what you assumed was his signature smile. You knew it from the get-go, there was something about the way he carried himself, with a confidence that was both alluring and intimidating. It was like he knew he was hot, and he wasn't afraid to show it.

But you weren't there to admire him from a distance. With a determined set to your jaw, you pushed your way through the crowd, inching closer and closer to where Rafe stood.

As you approached, it was like this electric buzz was shooting through your veins, making your palms all sweaty. You blamed it partly on the weather. This was it, the moment you had been waiting for. You squared your shoulders, ready to deliver the best performance of your life.

But just as you were about to reach him, Rafe's gaze flickered in your direction, and for a moment, it felt like everything stood still. So fucking cliché.

His piercing blue eyes locked with yours, and it felt like he was peering into your soul or something. You felt this shiver run down your spine as if he could see right through you.

And just as quickly as it had come, the moment passed, when someone blocked your vision.

You gotta be shitting me, you cursed to yourself.

As you looked up, you found yourself face to face with a blonde guy, his grin wide. He leaned in a little too close, invading your personal space.

“You're new. M’ JJ, you?”

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, “Not interested.”

Yeah, he was cute. But you were working, and he was making your job a lot harder.

The guy—JJ, apparently—didn't seem to get the hint, his grin widening as he leaned against one of the tables.

He raised an eyebrow, undeterred. "Aw, come on, don't be like that.”

You sighed inwardly. You had more important things to deal with than fending off unwanted advances from some wannabe player. He was probably a nice guy, but you really didn’t care.

You leaned your head to the side, standing on your tiptoes as you refocus your attention on Rafe. Except when you turned back to where he had been standing, he was nowhere to be seen.

Ugh, motherfucker.

Panic began to bubble up inside you. You scanned the crowd frantically, hoping to catch a glimpse of him, but he was gone.

Great. Just great.

“You lookin’ for someone or somethin’? I can help you.” He’s still flashing that cheesy grin like he's auditioning for a toothpaste commercial.

“Doubt it.” You shot JJ a withering glare, hoping to convey just how uninterested you were in his advances. But instead of taking the hint, he just grinned even wider, like he thought he was being charming or something.

"Goddamn, no need to be rude," he said, unfazed by your icy demeanor. "Just trying to be friendly."

Friendly? Yeah, right. You were about to brush him off again when you caught sight of movement out of the corner of your eye and then a hand was suddenly landing on JJ’s shoulder, pulling him away from you with a surprising force.

“We got a problem here?”

You glanced up to see Rafe standing there, swooping in like some sort of guardian angel, but with a serious case of resting bitch face.

He was even prettier up close.

“They let you out the mental institution for this, huh?”

Rafe's gaze remained fixed on JJ, blue eyes cold and calculating as remained. You found yourself holding your breath, unsure of what would happen next. You were just standing there, wondering if you should start taking bets on who was gonna throw the first punch.

Rafe's lips quirked up into a smirk, but there was no warmth in it.

"That’s a good one. Why don’t you walk away before I let it loose on you?”

Oh. These two were definitely not friends.

Your eyes darted between them wondering how the fuck you managed to get stuck in between a cat fight.

“I don't take orders from you, kook.”

Rafe's smirk only widened at JJ's defiance, a dangerous glint flickering in his eyes as he took a step closer, closing the distance between them. Rafe was not backing down; it was like he was enjoying every second of this showdown with JJ. And you had to admit, there was something kind of hot about the way he was standing his ground.

But you needed to stop it.

“He was just telling me where to find the bathroom.”

Rafe's eyes flickered to you, “’M sure he was. Next time, maybe try being a little less persistent, huh?"

JJ bristled at Rafe's words, his expression darkening with frustration as he shot you a glare before reluctantly backing down. You couldn't help but feel a twinge of satisfaction at the way Rafe effortlessly commanded the situation. Your mind wandered to other scenarios where his demeanor would be a very pleasant surprise.

"Yeah, whatever," JJ muttered, “Fucking kook.” his tone sullen as he shot one last scowl in Rafe's direction before turning on his heel and stalking off into the crowd.

You breathed a sigh of relief, feeling the tension slowly dissipate from your body. If Ward caught wind of what just went down, he'd probably lose it and boot you from the gig faster than you could say "summer job."

It wasn't like Rafe was about to throw fists for your sake specifically; you were pretty sure he was just itching for a brawl and JJ happened to provide the perfect opportunity. But hey, whether it was for you or not, the fact remained: you were smack dab in the middle of it all and Ward would kill you.

“You new around here?”

His voice had a rugged quality to it, with a hint of a southern drawl that added to its charm. You turned to see Rafe looking at you, his eyes no longer cold but instead holding a hint of curiosity.

The smell of his cologne nearly knocked you off your feet.

“Visiting for the Summer.”

As Rafe nodded, and your gut clenched as his gaze remained fixed on yours.

“I’m Rafe.”

A slow grin grew at the corner of your mouth, “Rafe? Is that short for anything?”

As Rafe's lips curved into a half-smile, he shook his head slightly. "Nah, just Rafe. What about you?”

You told him your name. Ward made sure any trace of you was deleted from the web, which unfortunately included your instagram account. No social media for you this summer. An unfortunate sacrifice.

Rafe repeated your name, committing it to memory. "Nice to meet ya.”

And then, the walking nightmare that sucked you into this, walked in. Suddenly, the stakes felt higher, the competition fiercer.

"Rafe, there you are!"

You turned to see a girl approaching, Sofia, you assumed. She was prettier than what Ward had let on and you quickly realized why Rafe had been so smitten with her. She was gorgeous, in a way that made you feel suddenly self-conscious, like you were standing in her shadow. Until you remembered who the fuck you were and snapped out of it.

Rafe's face lit up as he turned to greet her, a genuine warm smile taking over his whole face. A complete contrast to his posture earlier.

Fuck.

The way her dainty fingers wrapped around his neck when he hugged her made you want to curse Ward out for writing her off as some sort of fling. This would be harder than you thought. It was clear that they knew each other very well. They had history, a connection that clearly ran deeper than just friendship.

You plastered on your best smile and stepped forward, ready to make your move. But before you could utter a single word, Rafe's attention was pulled away once again, this time by a group of friends who had just arrived.

Embarrassing much?

“I’ll see ya around, yeah?”

You watched helplessly as he disappeared into the crowd, swallowed up by the sea of people.

The whole situation turned out to be a hot mess. It felt like the universe was conspiring against you. Plus, the heat was making everything feel ten times worse.

But you were not about to throw in the towel just yet.

Not when there was cold hard cash waiting for you at the end of that dumpster fire. You just needed to keep your cool and come up with a new game plan.

Rafe Cameron wouldn’t even know what hit him.

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hotdogdynamitezzz · 1 year

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~ Astro Observations ~

Saturn is known as the protector planet as it rules over barriers, restrictions, delays, limits & any protection that can be forced. Look at your chart to see where you will experience the most setbacks yet are protected. For instance, I've noticed someone with Saturn in the 6th house is very hard working and often puts in twice the work to get places, but they can experience setbacks with their colleagues nitpicking or criticizing them. But they are usually protected, their hard work pays off, or they always thrive. I see A LOT of famous people with Saturn in the 6th house.

Libra risings like people who are like themselves or else they completely avoid those who are obnoxious and aggressive as it appalls them. Yet, I commonly see them drawing in these individuals at the same time. Best rising for enemies to lovers as the main protagonist just doing their thing unbothered until an aries rising shows up lmao.

I notice the type of people we are attracted to reflect our 1st or 7th house in some way. For instance I have Venus in 1st and I always attract Aries rising & Mars in 1st house people. I noticed the same for someone who had Moon in their 1st house commonly attracting Capricorn risings or those with Saturn in their 1st house.

The sun sign is actually very important in your chart and isn't just some hocus pocus bogus crap found in magazine horoscopes. From my observations I've developed a theory that Mutable signs adapt using their sun signs qualities they usually start off HATING but find it necessary to utilize for their own personal power. Cardinal Signs seem to dislike their sun signs qualities and chase after everything using THE OPPOSITE qualities of their sign. It's when they use their sun signs qualities to their advantage they will find their initiations successful. While fixed signs struggle the most to master their own sun signs qualities as it sticks with them through and through, they relate the most to their sun sign as these qualities are something inate they use to identify themselves. However, they struggle to figure out how to use their qualities in a positive light as they can easily get stuck in a cycle.

Ex, a lot of Virgo euns hated cleaning or organizing themselves using lists as they were younger but later adapted because of the many health problems this sign usually experiences so found it necessary

Ex, Cancer suns tend to ignore their emotions and lash out at others being deemed insensitive so they focus on Detachment when really they should be utilizing their magnetism and intuition through human connection as they are the sign with the most power over others emotions.

Ex, Aquarius suns struggle with seeing the use of collaboration with others opinions and applying their innovative thoughts towards real life skills. They can get stuck in a constant pattern of not feeling accepted or heard. But mastering their creative thinking and differences to use positively will give them the most recognition.

Conclusion:

Mutable sun sign = Adapting to your Qualities

Cardinal sun sign = initiating your Qualities.

Fixed sun sign = Mastering your Qualities.

This is also why imo it's the hardest to spot a mutable sun sign as they're usually farther away from Adapting to their sun signs qualities until they've gotten more experience in life. Usually looking at the general themes in their life can help you identify them the easier.

Ex, Gemini suns are focused on developing communication skills and confidence in their socializing capabilities.

Ex, Pisces suns usually deals with people taking their dreams for granted and is most likely influenced by a harsh or strict environment.

In Solar Return Charts the most common house placements tend to be the 1st House, 6th House, 7th House and 10th House. ESPECIALLY 1ST & 6TH HOUSE! This is because most of our years are focused on the tangible and everyday aspects of our lives which is ruled by the 6th house, our public person and career is the 10th House, and focusing on ourselves is our 1st House.

If you're a student I frequently see 3rd, 5th, 6th, 8th & 9th Houses filled in solar return charts. The 3rd/5th/9th Houses are all about acquiring skills, learning from what's in front of you, hobbies and pleasure, and higher knowledge or lessons to be taught that bring about movement in your life. I also included 6th house because that's our daily life + physical health while the 8th house is about our mental health so it makes sense why students often have that house filled...

Wanna find out how to turn your creative thinking into a weapon and utilize it for success? Pallas (2) can show what you're naturally gifted at intellectually.

Pallas is the asteroid representing Athena goddess of war, strategy, knowledge & creative thinking. I've seen this asteroid work wonders tbh. My friend has it in Libra 12th House and she's a visual artist mastermind. She can piece any aesthetic or visual together like a puzzle.

If you want to manifest any desires, look at your 11th house! This house rules our wishes and what is rewarded after we've put hard work into it. Finding direction will be much easier to achieve if you look at your 11th house and what it's telling you to work for. Basically I've seen Pluto in 11th = earning power over people, Saturn in 11th = earning respect and titles, Venus in 11th = earning love or money (wealth indicator), Neptune in 11th = earning a prophecy, deep undivided loyalty & glamour, Mercury in 11th = earning your name to be widespread, knowledge & fast results.

I'd say Mercury in the 11th is a big "viral celebrity" placement as they can easily do something and everyone knows their name overnight. Also good for scholars!

The 12th house is also known as the house of Loss. Your planets, sign & rulership could determine what you end up sacrificing or leaving behind. For example, Cancer in 12th could often leave their homes or roots, they usually experience family loss early too. Scorpio in 12th house loses their fear, finances & secrets easily (beware of who you let talk to you). And Sagittarius in 12th house can lose their freedom, knowledge acquired, and faith in others.

The most copied people tend to be Scorpio risings, Pisces risings, Pluto in 1st house, Neptune in 1st house and 12th House placements. That's because with Scorpio energy in the 1st house their identity is literally exploited and used for power dynamics (legit had my friend catfished a bit ago and she has an 8° sag rising with Pluto in 1st conjunct her ascendant). And Pisces energy around the 1st House because people have no barriers with you and feel entitled to take your identity. It can almost feel like a sacrifice of themselves for Pisces rising or those with Neptune in 1st house (ex, Marilyn Monroe & Kim Kardashian, it's not a mistake they both have Neptune in 1st house).

Differences between the angular houses cuz I know we get these mixed up easily:

Your 1st house = How you identify yourself in the world.

Your 4th House = Your roots and how you grow into the world.

Your 7th House = How others identity you, your close connections.

Your 10th House = What you're known for, your reputation.

The houses of legacys are 4th, 8th & 10th. This is your history and how you make your mark on the world, how you will be remembered, and your title in the word.

8th house placements is what we knowingly gatekeep from the world, and the house rulership tells just as much if it's empty. Rich people usually have Jupiter in the 8th house because they are quite literally gatekeeping their wisdom, knowledge, gifts & MASS amounts of power. They also receive money randomly sometimes and have fabulous luck with stocks or investments.

Usually people with Moon in the 8th House tend to be reserved with their deepest emotions and family life. They can often take the longest to open up or trust others as they're used to being blackmailed or having their emotional security taken away from them.

Countries' rising signs MAKES A LOT OF SENSE. Russia has a Scorpio rising (known for intelligence agencies, spies, and cold environment...also destruction of the USSR), the USA has a Sagittarius rising (known for freedom, boldness & diversity...also aggression lol) & Britain is a Libra rising (country known for its fashion, etiquette and tea, its so libra LMAO)

Sun sextile Mars is the best aspect for a natural leader. You know how to utilize your individuality to stand out during competition and you also naturally bring out shining qualities in the people you lead. You take challenges to your ego with ease and although passionate you still remain assured and unbothered by threats. Also high sex drive is present here

A lot of psychics have Moon sextile Neptune because they access otherworldly feelings subconsciously without blockages. And are both Water and Fire dominant. Water rules unconscious and flowing emotions, while Fire represents intuition and gut feelings hence "follow your heart" being their motto.

In general looking at your Moon placement is THE MOST important when figuring out your intuitive abilities as the Moon is the unconscious mind & your personal feelings and behavior. You could determine what suits you best with this!

Ex, Mercury aspecting Moon does well with Tarot & Oracle or any divination that requires pattern connections and using your hands

Ex, Pluto aspecting Moon might be able to talk to ancestors, spirits, and gain information about dangerous events

Ex, Venus aspecting Moon would be great for Glamour magic, Love spells, WEALTH MANIFESTATIONS, and herbalism!! TEA READINGS LOL

I need to stop with Libra & Tea �� istg Tea is ruled by Libra & Neptune BUT THATS JUST MY INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS COMING THRU.

I don't necessarily believe in everything I listed or think it's all good practices like Love magic but I wanted to help you develop an idea of how each planet can be connected for practical use.

I feel like Uranus is actually a hard planet to understand and sometimes value in everyday life because it's just so...out there LOL. Like it's described as sudden surprises, rebellion, electricity, revolution & eccentricity. It's just a hard planet to relate to in general because it's the opposite of conformity so applying it in your life is umm confusing to say the least lol.

Basically I look at Uranus as sudden ups & downs, where we grow FAST but where we get knocked down BAD too. I literally think cancel culture would be ruled by Uranus ngl LOL. It's unpredictable and awakens or shakes up whatever it aspects.

So Uranus aspecting Venus would cause a turbulent love life, a somewhat Detached or Hypersexual character, Very wealthy and a visionary in fashion or with money. But alsoooo struggles to maintain relationships or struggles A LOT with self love.

TW but I've often seen those with Uranus in 2nd & 6th House struggle the most with body dysmorphia and weight fluctuation. Your health can always spike up and down too. It's because these houses rule over our self-worth, body and physical health. Therefore, sometimes it can really shake your eating habits up which would obviously cause a struggle in your mental health.

However I've also seen some of the MOST inflated egos come from people with Uranus in 2nd House. Again the unpredictability and sudden Shockwave to your confidence with Uranus can literally make you feel like God or sunken. It's VERY drastic.

Oppositions to the Ascendant, also known as Conjunctions to the Descendant are qualities we possess that others DON'T accept us for and often make us feel insecure. Lilith Opposite Ascendant would probably be heavily shamed for their promiscuity and manipulative behavior. While Uranus opposite ascendant would be ridiculed for their Weirdness or Intelligence. People would label them as crazy lol�� (totally not me).

Also if you have Uranus aspecting the Ascendant or Mars you are VERY clumsy and accident prone LMAO�� your movements literally come off as a shockwave to others and everything around you. It's just one step and all of a sudden a whole clothing rack comes falling down. Uranus does rule Natural Disasters so...are we even surprised?

When looking at your Solar Return Chart it's not just Pluto to be concerned about BUT CHIRON. This asteroid is the wounded healer meaning it will detail the wounds you have to recover from and face that year. Chiron also highlights where we feel or are literally rejected so...check that fr.

The saddest Chiron placement imo is in the 1st & 4th House. Because your identity and self expression is rejected with the 1st house, while in the 4th house you could be outcasted by your own family and feel blocked put from any form of emotional security.

An example of what I think is a good example of significant Chiron energy would be Selena Gomez and her Venus conjunct Chiron at a 1° orb in Leo 1st house. Basically it shows up as her body being rejected, women rejecting her, and her own creative projects or indivuality feeling rejected. She probably is very self-deprecative because of this as she never feels her appearance or identity is good enough.

Chiron in 1st House people also get copied lots...just sayin

Women tend to be VERY jealous of those with Venus or Moon aspecting Chiron because they view that individual as wounding their views of femininity and project their insecurities onto them. The women with Venus/Moon aspecting Chiron placements are seen in general as being too vulnerable or soft which are stereotypical feminine qualities a lot of women can feel resentment towards brought on by the ✨️Patriarchy✨️

Marilyn Monroe also has Venus conjunct Chiron...��

So does Jessica Alba, Olivia Rodrigo and Kurt Cobain.

Their lovesick songs PLZ what's more Venus conjunct Chiron than that�� excluding miss Alba lol.

The same goes for women with Sun & Mars aspecting Chiron. Men are usually jealous of their success and degrade them because they see them as a threat to their masculinity.

Fun fact: The 4th House rules over the Father while the 10th house rules over the Mother in family astrology. Although I generally always saw the Moon sign as the most accurate representation of the maternal figure in your life but I found the above on astrology websites.

I also found some sources saying the 10th house actually rules your dominant parent? It's a whole debate on Google but it did say the 10th house rules the Mother in my astrology books so...idk I see it. Let me know in the comments your thoughts!

And to end this off, let me know your rising sign degree and I will try to guess your favorite colour to wear lol

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