#and she will still sometimes hear us

[hella1975]

there's a very specific kind of vibe that comes with living with your friends in final year that it just does not have in first year or even second year. like as a fresher it's usually the first time any of you have lived away from home let alone with SO MANY people your age and it's terrifying and exciting and randomised to boot so it's generally carnage for a whole year in the best and worst ways, and then second year you pick who you're living with and it feels like for the first time you're doing this adult thing PROPERLY. you have a place of your own now. these are the people you've chosen to live with. studying gets serious etc. but it's still fresh. it's still new. you still don't know how to navigate it. but final year? final year is when you actually get it right. you know how to manage your time better. you know what works for you and what doesn't. studying is the main focus and you've been out in the world for three years now and it's not loud and boisterous like it was in first year and you're not exciteable and awkward like you were in second year. you're comfortable. every single one of my flatmates has their own friend group and we mainly keep to our own social circles, but we'll still meet each other back at the house after a night out and sit in the kitchen or my room to do the debrief. sometimes i'll go days not seeing either of them despite sharing a house but every now and then someone will softly call up the stairs that 'the heating's on!' or one of us will sneeze and the other two will yell 'bless you!' through the walls. the lack of interaction isn't interpreted as dislike in ways it would have been even last year, because we're all just old enough to be past that now and settled enough in our friendship not to worry about it. idk. uni is very loud and unsettling a lot of the time so it's been really sweet to see how almost boringly comfortable final year is.

#like my day today was literally drag myself out of bed at 10am to meet my econ friends bc we're in a group together #and i spent two hours with them writing a fucking TRADE REPORT before coming home #and the rest of the day was kinda lost. i showered. i put a wash on. i had a nap. i mainly stayed in my room #which sometimes is the End Of All Things but today was quite nice #and i can hear in their rooms how my flatmates are doing the exact same thing. pottering about and getting on with uni #and we've barely spoken all day but earlier my one flatmate ran into my room all excited to show me her nails #bc she's been teaching herself to do gels and it took her 2 hours but im still one of the first people she wanted to show #and just now we all went to use the bathroom at the same time and it led to one of our Stair Sessions #where we all inexplicably just gather on the stairs and chat for no reason with a cup of tea #idk it's just nice. it's such basic shit but i can't belive in first year i used to spend EVERY DAY with these girls #and we were one single friendship group and that was all we had #and then in second year one girl branched off bc she lived in a studio and got into her societies #but me and the other girl lived together again and it was the same thing of she was a friend before she was someone i lived with #and weirdly that can actually be detrimental to a dynamic. but this year we're all just very solidified and confident in ourselves #and where we stand and yes we all have our own friendship groups outside of the house now #but there's still that love and simple comfortableness around each other that you only get with time and a hell of a lot of proximity #and a sense of being settled that maybe is just what happens as you get older #idk it's just really nice. if i had this exact same day in first year (doing economics and barely leaving my room) #it would've been a really bad depressive day for me so the fact i can find such contentment from it now is really heartening #i love my little life here im very proud of what ive been able to achieve :) #hella goes to uni #feeling nostalgic because SOME BITCH decided to ribs post

[actual-changeling]

I think it is important to remember that while Ellie does not know many movies, songs, or other cultural aspects that existed before the outbreak, she is overall an incredibly smart and well-read person! She knows her science!

Yes, she will probably have no idea who Queen is but she isn't stupid. There is at *least* a high school level collection of knowledge in her head, probably more in some areas she is especially interested in.

Writing her as not knowing basic bodily functions or absolutely elementary science level info is not only inaccurate but also incredibly infantilizing, and the latter is already an existing problem based on ableist stereotypes that I have no interest in seeing exacerbated by people not putting more thought into their headcanons/writing. If people are interested or curious I can make a whole post on the age regression aspects of her cptsd and how to handle it responsibly and with grace, but tl;dr if you do not know how to write it without making real people who go through it feel like shit, don't do it.

You can do with the character as you want but as soon as you publicly share those headcanons you have a responsibility to not spread harmful misinformation or be offensive in any way.

#alex yells at the void #the last of us #tlou #ellie williams #fedra fucking sucks but a) people still need an education to be useful #and b) ellie reads. she has access to books. she probably read as a coping mechanism whenever she could #which is one of the reasons why she is so prone to dissociation and completely turns off after silver lake #once your brain gets used to using dissociation as a first response to stress it will keep doing it #give that girl a book and she'll absorb that knowledge like a sponge #(a psychology one would probably be pretty helpful at this point lol) #as always if you feel defensive or get upset over this have a good look at why #this is also as always NOT directed at ANYONE SPECIFICALLY #this is purely based on a variety of things i see online sometimes #and as someone who deeply fucking cares about mental health and especially trauma #i cannot just sit in silence when i KNOW that i can say something on the topic #that many people really need to hear

[dreamlogic]

...

#chronic blogging #shit chat #well at this point both of my parents (who i inherited my Just Tough It Out streak from) have #upon hearing how bad my post-hysterectomy pain has been #told me 'umm no you need to go see someone.' and 'please just go to urgent care i will pay for it if your insurance won't.' respectively #haunted by the ghost of my right ovary (sharp stabbing pains & debilitating muscle spasms around the incision site) #it's been 1.5 years since surgery and it's getting worse not better #at my 1mo post op i was like 'hey right side hurts a lot worse & the incision seems really wonky & off-center. thoughts?' #they said it was nothing to worry about give it time i might still be feeling pain up to 6mo post op #sooo 8mo post op contact surgeon again 'hey remember that thing i mentioned? yeah still hurts bad enough i struggle to walk sometimes' #she says eeehhh maybe you developed pelvic floor dysfunction or always had it and surgery made it worse. read this book & do some stretches #book stretches & muscle relaxers helped for a bit so i just carried on but it was not improving in fact becoming more persistent #lil over a year post op contact surgeon like 'HEY do not ignore me i am in an amount of pain that is NOT NORMAL and you WILL see me' #drive 1+ hrs for her to poke at me for ~10 minutes ignore most of what i was saying and determine it's just muscle spasms do more stretches #said physical therapy MIGHT help if i did it 2x monthly for at least 6mo. which would've involved commuting over an hour during the workweek #no THANK you i'll just keep doing my stupid stretches. and the thing is. #the stretches ARE helping. i feel my overall balance/flexibility/stamina improving #but that by contrast is making the STABBING PAINS WHERE MY RIGHT OVARY USED TO BE all the more obvious #'oh it's just muscle spasms' well why the FUCK are my muscles spasming around THIS SPOT EXCLUSIVELY for SEVENTEEN MONTHS STRAIGHT #i have essentially no pain on my left side at all. i feel overall just fine & dandy but i am convinced there is something #like. very seriously wrong on the right side causing this #and yeah if my surgeon won't listen to me maybe i will check myself into urgent care and demand an ultrasound #(which btw i asked for during my last visit & she told me it was unnecessary & to fuck off) #but now the two people who instilled me with a very deep mistrust for the medical industry #and from who i learned from via a lifetime of observation how to dissociate from chronic pain in order to function #are telling me 'yeah no this is bad you need a DOCTOR.' umm. i probably need a doctor. #was talking w/ E last night about degrees of pain & like. avg day is like 4-6 on a 0-10 scale. good days 2-3. #i don't consider calling out from work unless it's like an 8 or higher cause i'm just so used to it. #i'm sick of it. so fucking bored with being in constant pain. i want my life & energy back. i want a personality beyond Oh Just Tired back. #i wanna be able to enjoy touch again with immediately hitting overstimulation threshold due to pain.

[thermodynamic-comedian]

truly cursed post but i am convinced john gaius meows, and only half ironically too. his gender identity is the year 2014. he was a twitch streamer. he's canonically whimsical. he did it as a joke once and it was all downhill from there. sorry i just felt the need to share these thoughts with you all, i do not know why

#he mostly did it with alecto because she liked hearing his voice in general and sometimes he didn't feel like talking #after alecto's 'death' he reflected a little and got embarrassed about the whole thing #but it's so ingrained into his brain that sometimes you still get interactions like #''hey john?'' ''nya?'' ''um..what the fuck was that'' ''...listen. i know it's not possible. but please kill me right now.'' #all of us need to start making more cringefail jod headcanons anyways. he's a loser but even more than that he was alive during the 2010s. #tlt #the locked tomb #tlt shitposting #john gaius #ntn spoilers

[goldiipond]

i adore thinking about the fucked up tpn stuff that was either not considered during the writing process or deliberately left unexplored.

tpn really said 'each house has about 6 shipments and receives about 6 new children to replace them each year. the minimum age a child can be shipped out is 6. tpn begins with conny's shipment in october, after which dominic is the only remaining 6 year-old at the house' without even considering the implications of that. how about 'we know literally nothing about anyone from the age group between anna+nat's and thoma+lanni's groups because theyre all gone by the time the story starts' also literally no one ever brings them up. or my personal favorite of 'isabella painstakingly hand-made little bunny for conny's 6th birthday. conny turned 6 in september, about a month before she was shipped out' like do you think isabella was at least a little pissed about that. i like to think she was

#skye's ramblings #its totally my love of unexplored side characters but. i do get a little unwell over dominic sometimes #like. hello??? its like a well-established thing that kids in the same age group usually have closer bonds w eachother than others #youare telling me. he watched all 5 of what were probably his closest friends leave in the span of a year. this is what you are telling me #i mean maybe yvette could be considered part of his age group since they were technically born the same year?? #but her birthday is also literally new years eve n shes usually grouped in w the 5 year-olds as a result #also the shipment record in the anime says that hao and sadie were 6 but the 2 kids that left before them were 7 #so maybe dominics age group was just particularly small but. he still watched them all leave in a very short amount of time #canot imagine how his conversation w don and gilda abt the escape went. god this series can fit so much childhood trauma in it #also w how close thoma and lanni are dominic and conny were also probably really close due to being the only ones left of their group #thinking abt don n dominic bonding amd sharing happy memories of conny. ijust live for older/younger gracefield kid interactions #also shamelessly stealing rachels hc of ray using his photograpic memory to share happy memories of everyone who died at gracefield #ithink dominic would really like hearing abt his friends from ray. especially happy/funny stuff he was too young to remember #and also literally any interaction w ray n the younger kids is everything to me. oh hes healing hes a good big brother... dont talk to me #'this is all most likely just a plothole' well where you see a plothole i see a GOLDMINE OF TRAUMA AND CHARACTER DYNAMIC EXPLORATION. anywa

[orcelito]

Having lost my cat, my uncle, my great grandmother, my grandma's best friend (& one of the people who helped raise me), AND my dad all within the span of 9 months,

I have little sympathy for people who use deaths as an excuse to be an asshole. I get it, it sucks. Get the fuck over it. Your grief is not an excuse to treat others like shit. What the fuck.

#speculation nation #this isnt anything personal. im just reacting to a post that kind of pissed me off. #to be fair i was never close with my great grandmother so im not particularly broken up about that one #but it's still yet another death in the family within such a short period of time. #my cat is on this list bc he was the first one and it majorly fucked me up. so yeah it deserves to be here. #the others. well. my grandma's best friend makes me sad but at least she was getting up in years #my uncle and dad though. especially my dad. yea those have fucked me up the most. #im never gonna be the same after experiencing all of this in such short succession. #it sucks in a major way. and things are still continuously tumultuous. #but you dont see me lording it over people and using it as an excuse to be an asshole. #maybe i make people uncomfortable with how casually i mention it. but like whatever. it's simply my truth. #that's still just like. me just talking about what ive been up to. that kind of thing. #idk acting like someone needs to be treated with the most tender of touches after experiencing a major death #to the point where you cant even tell them when theyre being a manipulative little asshole? #i dont fucking think so! #yeah okay all grief hits different but ive pulled myself up by the bootstraps and kept my head on straight #even after i experienced death after death after death after death after Fucking Death #whats your excuse? youre Sad? we all fucking are. thats just life. #it's horrible and awful and it sucks that we have to live with this but you CANT let that affect how you treat other people!!!!! #and here i am making my own post venting about it instead of replying to the aita post that sparked this #bc the person the post was about just made me so angry to hear about. #but i am... a reasonable adult who separates themselves from situations before reacting in anger... #and so im making a tumblr post to get the emotions out instead of getting emotional at random strangers lol #anyways i actually had a pretty good day today. but in the way of grief. the smallest things can trigger moods sometimes. #but i am letting the emotions flow... here they are... i have expressed them... and i shall now release them... amen... #negative/ #i guess lol. i sure did rant enough for it.

[sensazioneultra]

fatphobia is always tiring like always always but when it comes from your own family it's like. extra exhausting. it hurts soo bad. you can't ever escape it

#like that one coworker who pokes fun at your relationship with food and it's obviously rooted in fatphobia? you'll just go home and he won't #be there it'll hurt for a bit but you'll live #but like beside super dangerous fatphobia (talking life or death shit like medical fatphobia) the one that does the most damage to me #is that coming from my own family.. it's just. you already put 43 conditions before the 'i love you' (that you don't ever say but anyway) #and then when i gained lots of weight that was... another one to add to the list #but maybe i'm not used to it yet idk it's been quite a few years atp but idk? #it just hasn't gotten easier to hear them call me ugly and fat (in a derogatory way) and make mean comments and shame me every other day #like! it hurts so bad! why do you think it's funny!!!!!!! #this doesn't include my mum bc (sadly) she understands what it's like to be shamed for being fat she wouldn't do it to me #not like in a purposefully mean way at least #tho she does do some insidious shit like always going 'there's this new EASY diet that TOTALLY works' or saying x health problem is probably #due to my weight etc #which like isn't good? doesn't help? still hurts me? but it's different bc i know it's not rooted in hating fat people/me being fat #it's more like her own shit she went thru that she doesn't want me to go thru too and like yeah it's fucked up but i get it more than #just outright saying i am disgusting for being fat lol #like mh both suck but at least you're not joking about the fact even if i didn't eat i would be fine cause i'm so fat haha #yeah. just. a lot. #there's no escaping it i think the only way would be to move the fuck out and that would also help with uh. the misgendering thinly veiled #homotransphobia abuse constantly having to put up w their fighting and sometimes fighting w them myself #and the ableism and and and and #basically this is lowkey hell like i've learned to live with it more or less but jesus it is extremely exhausting #i just want out i've wanted out for years but every day i get closer to losing it #there might be something potentially coming up but i have to wait til the end of the month to see if anything comes of it #we'll see.. i rly hope i can rent this place idc if it's small idc if it'll suck most of my paycheck and i'll have to ask for my mum's help #i just need to at least try and get away cause like. i get to august every year and my father is absolutely impossible to deal with #and i know my mum feels the same and i hate leaving her ajnd my brother too but like #at some point i have to think about myself cause god what use am i even to them when i'm a ghost of myself in this house #it's just shit for everyone plus if i really get to rent that place it's literally IN FRONT of my family's apartment i could still help out #but at least i wouldn't LIVE with them i wouldn't feel so fucking trapped #whatever. bad bad bad day physical pain wise too

[holyviolence]

omg i spent the whole day cleaning my entire apartment because my family was coming to visit and 1) so so so happy my adhd is being medicated now it's literally changing my life and 2) i FINALLLY got through to my dad about how he probably has ADHD too!!!!! he finally said Yeah i think i might have adhd. and my mom was like Me too (we've had this talk privately before, she knows she has adhd too lol) And my brother is literally transferring to a different school because he can't concentrate and isn't disciplined at his current uni. adhd family.

#literally thank goodness my brother was here to like Perfectly describe in real time what happens to adhd people when they go to college for #the first time. there's less structure and you fall apart. i used that as an opportunity. #i've slowly slowly slowly been chipping away at my Entire family btw. i've finally convinced my dad that medication is a GOOD THING. #i said You know. there's a lot in life that you feel like you Have to live with. but being on meds has made life so much easier and happier. #and that's when my dad finally said it. #:^) sometimes i like..... think about my family and how complicated i feel because growing up was super tough with all of them but now they #are all better people..... and i can't help but feel proud because as much as it is ABSOLUTELY great job for THEM for getting there But i #also feel uhhh partly responsible because i was constantly calling them out for shit. not always in the best way #but always standing up for others and challenging them on their worldviews and just casually talking about more liberal (as in free. not #politically) things. yes i do feel like if it wasn't for me my family would be worse people #i KNOW one of my brothers would be because he literally told me so. and it makes me happy. it is proof that my life is worthy and i have a #good impact on the world. it doesn't have to be a big thing i do to change things..... because i believe in the Ripple Effect #my dad is a teacher and he uses the proper pronouns for his trans students without complaint now. that has a good impact on SO many people #the trans students and their classmates who hear their teacher respect them. my brother is no longer homophobic he's bi lol and #if i hadn't argued with him about what bisexuality meant bc he was Wrong when i was 18 and he was 16... i wonder.... #my younger sister is one of the nicest kids i've ever met and i partly raised her. it feels great to see her be such a good kid #her best friend is a trans girl and when she first came out my sister was one of two people in their class who still wanted to be #her friend. #idk. just inspires me to keep being the best person i can be & always do what's right even if it makes people mad #bc no one can hurt me as much as my family has traumatized me (lol) and look what happened to them!! i didn't give up! and i see real change

[watermelinoe]

i just let out a little fart and it startled my cat awake 😭 then she put her head on my boob like "who will comfort me in these harrowing times 🥺" girl it wasn't that big of a fart stop that!!

#i think she's not used to hearing as well as she does now #bc her ears were plugged with wax and ear mites when we adopted her #so now every little sound it's like huh?? whuh??? #anyway yes i fart sometimes sorry am i still hot 👉👈

[dawningfairytale]

constance: well gosh golly goodness fuck

ocean:

ricky:

penny:

mischa:

karnak:

virgil:

noel: i think ocean's rubbing off on you

#rtc #ride the cyclone #incorrect quotes #blackrose rtc #constance blackwood #noel gruber #ocean o'connell rosenberg #ocean: I WOULD NEVER SWEAR LIKE THAT #ricky: i would hate to hear what their dirty talk sounds like #penny (their roommate): trust me. you would. #constance used to swear like a sailor (sometimes she still does) #also #constance: gosh fucking darn it #rtc incorrect quotes #source: half me half also me but fake???

[puppybearuniverse]

thinking about the tragedy that is never truly getting to be close with my family. i feel guilty about it sometimes. but then i remember how hard I've tried, my entire life, to connect. and i remember the things they did to me in return. and i remember that it's okay not to have a relationship with them.

#especially my sister. we were so close when she was younger. #then she fell down the alt right pipeline #then she got better! and we got along really well! #and now she lies and schemes and manipulates like it's her job. almost everyone i know fell victim to her wake in some way #and it sucks you know? because i feel like i knew her heart. but one day she just changed. #trying to kill me for having a friend over while she was at work was my last straw. #i spent years and months begging her to spend any amount of time with me. and when she entered her manipulate era i tried to distance #but i still felt so much love for her. i still felt the need to have some connection. #and then came november. after a month of me being gone - one of the first things she did was try to kill me. #because i had a friend over. while she was at work. #now i feel a dislike for her like i would anyone who acted so horribly. #i feel disgusted when she talks to our mother all sweet like she doesnt lie to her every day. #growing up she was the favourite and anyone can tell. #as an adult she uses that as best she can. #she's been watching total drama lately. i can hear it from her room. it used to be my favourite show when we were young. #i wonder if she remembers. i wonder if she cares. #it's so strange to feel the way i feel about all of this. #i want her to mourn our relationship the same way i do. i want her to remember that i tried and she had every chance to reciprocate. #i don't know. it's all so complicated. and sometimes it still hurts. #wiggle

[void-kissed]

I do find it very amusing that two of my more cold and stoic self-inserts - who are actually pretty similar in some ways, being nobles in a somewhat unfamiliar situation compared to the nobles around them for example - are for two of the F/Os who manage to make me most flustered simply by existing (or saying certain lines, more specifically)

#a call from the void #heart of the void #selfshipping #to be more specific the self-inserts here are #self‑insert: scourge of royalty (telanthera) #and #self‑insert: lone lynx (catarina) #while the respective F/Os I use them to selfship with that manage to fluster me so strongly are #love: tea for the liege (camellia) #and then #love: more than monsters (hapi) #respectively #I do also use catarina to selfship with petra but I don't think she has any lines that strike quite the same effect so readily #as opposed to (for example) hapi's ''didn't you hear? i'm dangerous.'' and ''i know i'm buff as heck. what of it?'' #and camellia's.. *most of what she says* as selwyn knows so well -w- #sometimes there are just those specific lines and the way that they're said that just get you you know? #but anyway.. this reminds me I still haven't designed catarina's post-timeskip appearance. i should try and work on that. #and also reminds me that I still want to make a render for my selfship with camellia where telanthera *isn't* a blushing mess for once #I have ideas. they involve being smug and also knives. #that's a sentence

[yoohyeontual]

I thought I would have a nice day today, but it turn into a big fight how great

#my mom is constantly saying we don’t care about her and that we won’t let her express herself #but the way she need to express herself hurts both me and my dad so we kindly tell to not do it please #but she get offended cause she take it that we don’t care about her feeling and take the side opposite of her #but once we tell her she dosen’t consider OUR feelings she repeat that we don’t care about HERS #no you’re the one only caring about your feeling #I’m exhausted I’m already so stress and confused about what to do I need money and the store won’t call back so I need to find somethin #but there’s nothing around my house that won’t end with me having having panic attack everyday like at my old job #but she won’t hear a word we say if we ever tell her she does something to hurt us she takes it as an insult #she says to take her as she is and she will never change even tho we tell her it hurts us but we should change and and absorb everything #todays conversation was one we have often and I feel the same way she does about the subject but I hate talking about it we don’t have #to keep talking about it what is done is done no matter how much we talk against it it just hurt #even when I told her it was mentally the worst time of my life she still thing that I should listen to her complain non stop and have #to think about it when it just hurt #i feel like Imm just repeating but imm so tired of everything and don’t wanna go in detail I hope it still clear #we had plans today and everything is just ruin #i would continue playing my game and stay distract but this ruined my mood so bad #tomorrow is probably gonna be bad to cause my botch my parents are stubborn especially my dad and he won’t talk to her now and probably #won’t tomorrow neither and she’s gonna be mad and say that he should get over it #i would cause I hate to fight I just want peace but he’s not like that #i love them but they are exhausting sometimes #i wish I could just leave but I have no one to meet and I’m scared if I leave they are going to fight even more today or tomorrow #or that my mom will get offended idk #i wish I wasn’t coming back to complain but I need to ‘’speak’’ somewhere or I’ll break down 😭 #I’m not here often and I don’t feel like scrolling you can tag me in things if you want it would help or use my tag for your content 💕 #I’ve been stalking a tag for a couple of days that’s why I couldn’t resist reblog that nice Eri post when I came earlier and keep reblogging #alex.txt #tw negative