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shadowsingersmate · 3 years

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Hiii can you do a really angsty azriel×reader where they have a huge fight about him not opening up to her but with a happy ending so they make up at the end?

Hey! I have a lot of request atm and I should probably be doing them by chronological order but I LOVED this idea so here it is.

Tw: cursing, slight mention of sex :)

Hope you enjoy this!

You and Azriel had been friendsfor what you’d say a long period of time. You knew each other for four years now and it was safe for you to say that you had left yourself open for him to see. Especially after you two had gotten together, no you weren’t mated but he still was a huge part of your life. You didn’t hesitate once, you told him 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔, around him you were yourself. You wanted him to know every single part of you. You trusted him that much.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t the same for him. Although you two had known each other for so many years he’d still be too close to himself. He’d never talk about his feeling, about his day. cauldron! He’d never talk to you about anything important, the only way for you to know a somewhat small part of him and his life would be cassian.

But you’ve had enough of that, enough of this bullshit behavior. You trusted him more than anyone and although you couldn’t and didn’t 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 to force him to tell you. No, he was a grown male and he could do whatever he wanted but you wanted some answers, you wanted to know why he was so secretive, why he didn’t trust you.

It was a normal day, nothing special really. You had just came home from a meeting with rhysand (as you, yourself was a part of the high lords court). Azriel came back to your shared apartment briefly after, the skin under those beautiful captivating hazel eyes bruised, his own gaze hiding pure rage. You would admit, he did do a good effort trying to hide his anger but you’d see under those eyes.

“Hey” you smiled. But your smile quickly faded as he dismissed you with a small ‘hey’ , barely audible in the quiet, empty room.

“You okey?” Such a simple question, but his next words meant so much to you.

Silence....

“You wanna talk about it?” You tried again.

“No” he retorted abruptly. You seriously didn’t know why would you get your hopes up. It was more than obvious that he simply didn’t want to talk to you.

“Are you hungry? I could make dinner” you tried again.

No answer.

“Azriel”

No answer

“Azriel,‘I’m talking to you. Are you okey?”

No answer.

At this point you had stood up walking towards him. He was just standing there, he was gazing at the window, at this point you didn’t even know if he actually heard you.

“Azriel!” You raised your voice.

“Can you please be quiet!” He shouted loud enough for you to flinch. “I don’t 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 to talk about it” he said pure venom dripping of his voice.

You’d never see him this mad over something you had said, and you, for sure, didn’t expect for him to be this mad over such a small question.

“You see that the thing Azriel, you 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 seem to want to talk about it” you snapped. No, you’ve had enough, this was the last straw. “I’m here, I’ve been by your side for years, I’m trying so hard. I’m always trying to make you happy however I can. I’m trying to help you, I’m trying... Cauldron boil me I’m trying so hard” your voice broke slightly at the end “what can I do for you to trust me? To open up to me for once? What do you want me to do?” You raised your voice

Now it was his turn to flinch, he just stayed quiet, his eyes burning yours. His lips forming a thin line, almost as if he was restraining himself from saying something.

You soon realized what he was trying so hard to hide, it had 𝑐𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑘𝑒𝑑, the mating bond had just clicked. You watched him carefully, his look was enough for you to realize that he had know about the bond.

“The bond, you knew about the bond?” Of course that was what he was trying to hide.

No answer, just a guilty look sprained across his face.

“How long?” You questioned. “Y/n please just hear me out”

“That was what all of this were about,Right?” You laughed bitterly “you didn’t once see me as something important, just some stupid female you could keep around so you could use whenever your wanted a quick release, right?” You watched him, he was completely out of words. What could he say really?

“And to think that I was worried about you not trusting me, now it all make sense” you said more for yourself to hear “you barely talked to me, you barely had time for me except only when you wanted to fuck” you sobbed.

“No, y/n please just let me explain I- I“ he lookd shuttered. His gaze was a mixture of pure regret and guilt.

“No- dont! I won’t tolerate this anymore Azriel, I’m tired. You want a quick lay out? I don’t care anymore use your hands, go to a pleasure hall cause I don’t give a fuck anymore Azriel. Because you clearly don’t want 𝑚𝑒“ you turned to leave but something stopped you midway “just answer this one question” you fiddled with your fingers, afraid of his answer. “Did you really wanted to hide the bond so badly? Is really being my mate so tragic?” You immediately regretted your questions “actually don’t- don’t answer, goodbye” you said before you ran away, you needed space- lots of it.

It had been a week since you last talked. You’d be so desperate to find a way to get him out of your mind, to forget him that you had asked Rhysand for more work, a whole lot more work.

You’d barely sleep, barely eat. You’d wake up train, work, work, work and then, 𝑖𝑓 you felt too tired you might have actually gotten some sleep.

You’d also bought a new apartment for yourself, you couldn’t bare staying there and also you didn’t want to kick out azriel so you did the next best thing. You’d spent a small amount of money for something small, just enough till you found something better cause your decision was final. You weren’t going back to him, never.

Of course the inner circle had started to get worried, you wouldn’t even attend the family dinners anymore, you just disappeared. You had hidden the location of your new apartment for a couple of weeks before mor and cassian appeared at your doorway desperate for a talk.

Cassian was like a brother to you, mor was your sister. You talked to them, you trusted them but this, this was different. What would you say? They would probably tell you to talk to azriel. That he couldn’t bare being alone or some shit like that, he was their family after all.

It wasn’t that you were being ungrateful, the inner circle never once made you feel out of place, they all welcomed you and treated you like family but that didn’t mean that would last long enough after you and Azriel brake up.

“Hey” mor said quietly.

You muttered a small ‘hey’ in response before moving out of the way sot hey would come in.

“We’re have you been y/n? We were worried” cassian started, he didn’t do it on purpose. Cassian would always jump in questions, he cared deeply for you and you knew that. Mor on the other hand shot he a glare before starting, hereself asking questions “do you want to talk about it? I could ask the baby to leave if you want to” she said.

You let out an agitated sight, blinking back the tears that were mere second from breaking away as you remembered ℎ𝑖𝑚 “There’s nothing to talk about”. You would never imagine how much a heartbreak would hurt. It felt like you had lost a whole part of yourself, a part that would never come back.

“It was never meant to last anyway” you said finally, hoping that they would just drop the subject. It was true, you knew that this relationship would work out, couldn’t work out. He was, well he could have whoever he wanted, what special did you have? Well certainly not whatever he wanted.

A month, it had been a month. A whole month with tiring days and endless, sleepless nights. Your under eyes were bruised and your body had changed. The work was swallowing you whole but it did wonders when it came to forgetting him.

Mor, cassian, rhysand, Feyre, even amren and nesta would come to talk to you and make sure that you were okey. You had also realized that Azriel, himself was trying get you to talk to him.

He’d do some hopeless tries. He’d tell Azriel to convince you to join the dinners and start coming on the inner circle gathering more often, mor had told you. But you just knew that whoever Azriel had wanted instead of you just didn’t feel the same way so he tried to found you again.

As you were drowning in you thought a knock was heard, weird. Nobody and told you anything about any visit today. You stood up and made your way towards the door, it was probably cassian and he probably had forgotten to tell you that he would visit.

But you weren’t ready for the person that was standing right outside your doorway. Muscular, tall Illyrian, wings tucked in tightly, grazed eyes scanning you whole. Look filled with guilt. 𝐴𝑧𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑙.!

“Hey” he gave you a soft smile, but it did nothing to hide the pained expression that lingered on his eyes.

You averted your gaze as you clenched your jaw. For a moment you contemplated shutting the door in front of his face, scream at him, or even launch yourself at him.

He had lied to you, he had hurt you, he never trusted you and you didn’t know what was worse the fact that he never saw you seriously or the fact that you believed in this relationship- you believed in him….

“What do you want?” You fought with everything you’ve got for your expression to remain neutral.

“I want yo talk, I- I know what I did was wrong and I know that I hurt you, deeply, but” he paused taking a deep breath as if to calm himself.

“But what?” You snapped venomously and he flinched, he actually flinched “You come here trying to what? Apologize?” You started pacing “I am your mate, and I can understand and accept the fact that you don’t want the bond, that you don’t want something more intimate between us but not telling me? That’s was beyond cruel, because you knew, you 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 that I wanted to find my mate, you knew that I wanted you to be my mate and you didn’t care”

Azriel’s eyes widened in disbelief as he heard you talking. You laughed bitterly “you’ve been dragging me besides you for years and for what Azriel? For what? To dump me when you’ve found someone better? Someone that you actually want?” You blinked furiously trying to restrain your tears.

“Y/n please, I- I do have feeling for yo-“ Azriel tried but you were quick to interrupt him once again. “You think that I’m mad because you don’t have feelings for me? You’re unbelievable! I angry because you hid something like this from me, you humiliated me”

“No!” His voice rose slightly “I never said that, just please let me talk” you snorted but let him go on “I- I love you, all this years weren’t a waste for me. I knew you were my mate from them moment I first saw you. I hid it and it was wrong of me, yes. But I did it because I didn’t want you to feel obliged to accept the bond, I wanted you to see me, I wanted the best for you and still am and I know that I’m not the one that can make you happy y/n” his eyes shone, tears threatening to escape.

“I love you so, so much and the fact that I cannot be the one to make you happy… it kills me. I do t deserve you, I never did and I never will do yes I’m sorrry that I hurt you, I’ll never forgive myself for this but I don’t regret not telling you about the bond from the start, because I know- mother burn me, I know that I’m not the best for you” he was crying, the legendary shadow singer 𝑤𝑎𝑠 crying in front of you.

Your heart broke at the sight of him, at the sight of someone you cared abott it so deeply being so vulnerable in front of you. “Azriel I- I had no idea” you couldn’t restarting your own tears. “I- you, you are amazing you deserve 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 this world can give you, you are everything I could ever wish for and even more. If someone does not deserve this relationship is me. I’m sorry. I- I love you”

His lowered head rose as you uttered the last words, his lips twitched slightly, but the smile didn’t last long as he continued talkibg “It’s not that I don’t trust you, I do trust you, it’s just hard for me to share my feelings and sometimes I need some time before I am ready to talk about some things. But I swear I’ll try, I’ll try so hard to be everything you want me to be. You are my everything”

It was your turn to smile “I love you, I love you, I love you” you repeated again and again as this head lowered, his lips met yours and the room erupted. The kiss was filled with all the love you two had for each other.

“I love you more” he whispered as he pulled you in for a hug.

#a court of mist and fury #a court of silver flames #a court of thorns and roses #a court of wings and ruin #acotar #azriel #shadowsinger #acotar fanfic #acotar fanfiction #azriel fluff #azriel x reader #azriel angst #inner circle #acosf #acotar fluff #acomaf #acowar #acotar x reader #illyrian

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ac-ars · 6 years

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lutteo polish uni au PLEASE

my time has come

this got so long i have to cut this sorry

luna is starting her first year at uni and she had to move from her hometown to attend her university at least she will get this ugly cheap dorm shared with hopefully someone not much weird

bless cheap train tickets which means she will be able to go every weekend to her hometown and bring many jars of food made by her mom (goals)

people from her group are kinda cool but meme because since she is on the environmental engineering its uni of technology which means that most of her group are weird guys with first world problems (or buying twenty watches at once from ali express)

they get the less confused person and pick them as group president who finds out that there are materials from higher years, like answers to the tests, exams, done reports and other stuff

they send luna for it because she is the nicest

thats how she meets matteo balsano (in pl he would be named mateusz but who cares)

he is obviously in the students council of his faculty and has all important papers and knows all profs and he is very smirking at the younger lost student luna who knows like nothing and is scared of asking because all people seem to make fun of the greenies who dont know what is happening

also luna wants to attend all the lectures to be a proper student, she buys some big hardcover notebooks and highlighters to have material to study later

she fails

she ends up going on first lectures and then maybe second week’s ones too but then she either ends up falling asleep or skipping and staying at her ugly dorm sleeping because it’s not really worth it really

matteo ended up giving her the materials ofc and texts her sometimes subtly seeing on her insta story something like “where the f is room number 406??” or “this shit is boring help me” and she likes it kinda and he also sells her all tips about professors bc he knows it all

obviously is anyone surprised

he starts appearing in random places magically to help her find the room or something really

we should mention the time luna writes her first test and she is shook the questions are everything as last year, and two years ago, and three, and four, and,,,

anyway everyone is even more shook when half people fails and then matteo or someone older idk who tells about the prof being too lazy to actually check and grade this shit they tell them about

throwing the papers in the air which means prof throws papers in the air and the tests which fall to the desk pass and those who are on the floor fail rip

luna likes hanging out with matteo obviously because he is funny and he is always having some coffee or water to share (poor student’s life doesnt allow those luxuries unless you are rich)

when we are by rich matteo is rich and he has his own apartment shared with ramiro or someone idk really but he has his own room, bed and mostly full fridge which is all boy in college can offer to a girl

luna doesnt really get that he likes likes her because lol he is acting just friendly and she doesnt know uni life enough anyway she has one bigger friend in the group (the rest likes her bc she cool and got them materials and knows older guy who gives them spoliers about uni which is always good)

this friend is actually jazmin who is on year lower because she started clothing design on asp year ago and now she decided she wants to be environmentally friendly so she is the chatty friend who keeps dragging Luna around the important places all around the uni and neighbor cities like famous club SPIŻ

luna hates this place esp the beer they are recommending in their song but she hates it and it all tastes the same besides weird staring drunk guys are disgusting she wants to go home so they call uber to drive them and its nice old man who keeps asking them about their grades in high school

one day luna has very difficult weird math exam and there is no answers anywhere so she texts matteo asking for @help pls i have no idea what is going on even and he helps her because obviously she manages to take a picture and send him and he solves it all and luna is nice person so she sends it to the rest of the group

they all later get money and buy him exclusive cheap vodka because he helped and he is laughing so much because he used to do it too

alcohol is every way to show your gratitude at uni remember this

matteo’s students council has this funny small room with computer and big blackboard and big windows and ofc old couch and he lets luna nap on it between labs when there is lecture or when she has no class and she appreciates this very much

it is definitely too cold when the late fall/early winter comes because those damn faculties have sucky heaters (it doesnt exist sorry wear winter jackets all the time) and matteo keeps bringing some random sweater for her because her two sweaters arent enough plus he gets her tea with vodka xDD

lets not forget about those typical students hang out parties where everyone is sitting eating pizza and drinking countless amount of whatever and the person who has the earliest bus back home loses the most fun

lets not forget cars not starting up when its too cold and everything freezing, and snow is cool only for few hours bc then it melts and its shitty and luna got her jeans wet not once because she was running to the bus through the puddles

first sesja is kinda shit because profs keep saying that one can’t cheat from their phone or whatever but they pretend then don’t see anything and generally dont care tbh they just throw the papers or whatever

luna passes all of her exams and when all profs decide to move their asses and insert the grades to the sots (3,0 is a blessing)

since luna passed everything matteo very not-hiding says that they gotta celebrate this and he will take her out for pizza

and pay for that

and for extra dessert

that was only first semester/first part btw

i wanna say thanks @ pink moon for helping

#soy luna #over-the-pink-moon #lutteo #luna valente #matteo balsano #mine #please dont take it seriously #its just a joke #we get education here in pl i promise

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