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#and siblings aren't always enough no matter how loving
transmascaraa · 3 days
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Idk how to write this but
Reader is so lost in being a people pleaser, they no longer defend themselves when being insulted
(like, someone saying "I wish you could just shut up and never speak again" to them seriously, and them clearly hurt, would still laugh as if what the person said was a joke etc)
🫶🫶
multiple characters headcannons!
you're a people-pleaser...
characters: lyney, gaming, tighnari x gn!reader
author's note: WHY ARE YOUR REQUESTS LITERALLY ME😭😭 i love them tho‼️ ENJOY READING<33 (random writing motivation smh)
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☆ Lyney
-off-topic but the lucille font looks so beautiful with lyney's name
-ANYWAYS
-speaking from experience, people-pleasing sucks.
-and to overcome it, you need somebody's support, because you most likely won't be able to do it on your own.
-sometimes, it can only take a few kind words to break out of it.
-and he will be the one who will help you.
-since i hc him as a people-pleaser too, playing the role as the "big brother" to protect his siblings and please 'father' because he's occupied to do so,
-yes, he does genuinely care about his siblings, but he sometimes goes too far just to be sure.
-so, back to him helping you, he'll always remind you that you're your own person, that you're not alive to just please others.
-you don't owe them anything, so why do you do it?
-nonetheless he will give his all to praise you and remind you that you're perfect just the way you are, and that you shouldn't change for anyone except for yourself.
-sometimes, if you're about to make a choice you clearly don't want, he'll gladly choose for you and say that you're just indecisive.
-"you're hurting yourself for others, it's not good. you're you, unique."
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✯ Gaming
-similar to lyney, except for the fact that he isn't a people-pleaser himself.
-you probably wouldn't even need to tell him anything, he'd realize it on his own.
-your every single day would be filled with millions of praises about how you're unique on your own.
-how you shouldn't listen to others.
-how you only live once.
-soon enough, you'd probably break down to him many times about it(like you probably would to anyone)
-and when you've listened to his praises and reminders enough, you'd slowly get better and better at actually being yourself.
-yes, of course it would take some time, of course it can't happen overnight, but he'll wait.
-he'll be patient with you.
-he won't rush you.
-all he cares about is that in the end, you'd finally put an end to it.
-and trust me, it would come sooner than expected.
-"you're nobody's toy or puppet for them to play with. you're your own person, [name]."
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✿ Tighnari
-get ready for the biggest mom ever.
-he would realize on his own, not like he wouldn't notice you choosing to work for the whole night rather than rest, especially because it was requested by someone you hate.
-AND IT WAS SOMETHING OPTIONAL.
-he's not dumb, he will notice.
-he'll literally call you to the living room for some "serious talk" one day and it would actually get you worried.
-then, he will start lecturing you about it and how bad it is for you and your health.
-you actually start feeling bad for him... he cares about you so much and everything while you aren't even happy yourself... you let others walk over you while you laugh at the pain.
-once he realizes that you started feeling bad, he'll apologize for coming off as rude or mean, even if you confront him that it's okay afterwards.
-he'll start reminding you about all the reasons why you shouldn't do it, but he won't rush you, he'll let you take your time.
-it may take you a but longer, but it will come eventually.
-every morning, he will put a new quote on the bathroom mirror just for you.
-quotes as in "live laugh love", "keep on going!", "you can do it!", "be yourself!", etc.
-"you don't live to please anyone, no matter how important they are. you're just fine on your own."
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I LOVE THIS
writing motivation hits different fr
I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT^^
| @keeyisbored | @mariaace <3
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Some of the criticism of the show is valid and some of it is just...people lacking any sort of nuance or comprehension skills.
1) "They are stupid and irresponsible for being together in the public". Yes, but also the public doesn't know ji han is a chaebol and ah jeung is a no name actress. The public also doesn't know who Dohan's financee is. Only the wedding has been announced. It's not surprising at all that the two dumbasses thought they could be together without being seen. Ji han has no reason to believe his step siblings would send a reporter after him knowing it's Dohan's position they are after. Something so obvious shouldn't be have to be spelled out by the writers for you lot.
2) "How could that bitxh Ah jeong have the audacity to have feelings that don't revolve around Dohan? She should have continued being miserable and uncomfortable because it is only Dohan's safety and comfort that matters." No woman should put herself through so much pain for another man not even for her gay best friend. If you want to watch women make decisions centered around their relationship with a man then plenty of shitty BLS and works by incels with one dimensional fl characters exist.
3) Dohan, ji ahn and ah jeong are flawed human beings. None of their mistakes deprive them of their humanity and their right to love and be loved.
4) kdrama viewers have a meltdown every time a character makes decisions that are not the most ethically, culturally or rationally correct. It's not bad writing if a character makes a terrible choice CONSISTENT with their character.
5) But the outrage is always more loud for a FEMALE character every single fucking time. Like clockwork. Not only are you guys consistently boring with the demand for characters to stay conventional but also consistently MISOGYNISTIC.
6) Both ji han and ah jeong fought their feelings for each other before finally giving in. It wasn't immediate. They both are clearly guilty. Both of them wanted to talk to Dohan about this. He was the first person they wanted to talk to. He was on their minds on the date too.They only went out together as a couple to a STRANGE PLACE for ONE DAY where they thought they would be safe. Why are people acting like they have been hiding their relationship for ages? They didn't even get the chance to be public yet. NO, THEM ROAMING IN A STRANGE PLACE DOESN'T COUNT AS PUBLIC BECUASE NO ONE AROUND THEM KNOWS.
7) MEDIA SHOULD NEVER CATER TO YOUR MORALES OR FEELINGS. This world consists of average people who make horrible choices and who hurt themselves and others. I like watching them on screen. Hope more kdramas are courageous enough to experiment with genuine character flaws that aren't just being 'quirky' or a 'tsundere'.
8) None of the characters one this show are 'morally dubious or gray'. They just are people with flaws. Idk maybe read a book or two or watch peaky blinders.
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percyluvr · 1 month
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Hi, can you do a percy x reader? I would love for it to be angst where the reader feels like they aren’t good enough for percy so they never confess their feelings to percy and watches him get into a relationship with someone else.
percy jackson x reader summary: you don't think you will ever be good enough for percy, so you watch him slowly fall in love with another girl that isn't you wc: 1549 pt 2
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You'd never been confident in yourself, but you could usually find something, anything, about yourself that you liked that you could grasp onto that would get you through the day. You could always find something before, but not now. not after seeing the boy that you had been in love with since you first met talking with her. Your life wasn't fair. Yes, they'd been on quest after quest after quest together, but you were his best friend. Sure, you weren't as smart as her, and nowhere near as beautiful as her, but a small part of you thought that maybe, just maybe, there was a sliver of a chance that Percy could like you the same way that you liked him. Maybe you were just delusional, but you two were best friends, for god's sake, didn't that mean anything to him?
It wasn't fair, seeing him with her. They aren't even together and they're already looking at each other like nothing else in the world matters. He never looked at you like that, and you knew it. You knew the way he looked at you, like you were his little sister or something, and every time you thought about the distinction, your heart cracked just a little bit more. 
After the first time you saw the way they looked at each other, you could never see anything else when you saw them together. All you could focus on was their eyes, deeply and lovingly gazing at each other, blushing even when there was nothing suggestive about what the other person said. 
All you could do to stop yourself from breaking down into tears in front of everyone at camp was to think about the fact that they weren't dating yet. They weren't dating, so you still had a chance, but deep down, you knew, you knew that there was no way in hell you had a chance when he looked at her like she personally put each little star into the sky. There was no chance for you to get what you wanted, not when she looked at him like he made the sun shine every morning.
They deserve each other, you know it, but you can't help but be bitter. you knew him first, you knew him before anyone at camp. He was your friend when your mother died and you were on the streets. He was the one who told his mother about his new friend who lived on the streets. He was the one that gave you a place to stay for your entire childhood and teenage years. you should appreciate that, and you do, but you can't help but hate him when you see them together. You can't help yourself feeling bitter, not when she stole him from you.
Nothing in your life was fair. You couldn't even get the boy that you had been pining over for years. you, your siblings, your friends, everybody knew that there was no chance for you, but that didn't stop you from trying, and failing, over and over again.
You woke up, and the first thing on your mind was Percy. He was always the first thought in your mind, and you bet that he wasn't the first thought on her mind when she woke up. You were the one who thought of him every second of the day, so why did he like her? You knew that in reality, you had nothing special to offer, but she did, and that was probably why he liked her, but you couldn't stop yourself from thinking how much you hated it. Why couldn't you be special? Why was fate such a cruel thing? Why did you have to be plain-looking, average at everything? Why did you have to be the person that everyone overlooked? Why couldn't you have just one quality that stood out, that made someone say, "Hey that's unique, I want to get to know them!"
You tried to be special, you tried to find your 'special skill,' you tried to find something about yourself that you could work on that would stand out to Percy, that would finally make him say, "Wow, I've been missing out with her," but you found nothing. You were never good enough for anyone in your life, and you thought that you were finally good enough for Percy, but you now realize that you aren't, and you never would be, not when you were being compared to her.
She was special, she was beautiful, she was smart, she was one of the chosen ones, she was perfect. You would never, not in a million years, even be a fraction as wonderful as her. You were reminded of this every day. 
You were reminded of how perfect she was every time that you saw how Percy's cheeks had a pink hue dusting them every time she was in view. You were reminded of how perfect she was every time they sat together and looked into each other's eyes, adoration showing with no care who saw. You were reminded of how perfect she was every time they reached for something at the same time, fingers brushing, causing a blush to appear on both of their faces as they quickly retracted their hands, hoping that the other wouldn't see the raging hues of pink appearing on their cheeks.
You compare yourself to her every waking minute. You looked at your dull, frizzy hair and thought of how her hair shimmered in the sunlight. You looked at your rough, dull skin and thought about how her healthy, smooth skin only added to her beauty. You thought about her perfectly proportionate body every time you stepped in front of a mirror, every time you got dressed in the morning.
You wondered why life was so unfair, why you couldn't have this one thing. You'd not been blessed with anything special about you. You were plain in every way. Your skin didn't reflect the light, your hair didn't shimmer in the sunlight, and your body sure as hell didn't look even half as good as hers did in jeans and a t-shirt. Couldn't the gods just give you this one thing? All you wanted, all you ever asked for, was your best friend's love. 
And sure, he loved you as a friend, but that wasn't enough for you. You should've been grateful he even loved you as a friend, but you desperately wanted something in life that could set you apart from the rest. There was nothing about you that could possibly do that, but Percy was special. Percy was beautiful, in every single interpretation of the word. He was funny, he was strong, he was brave, and he always said the right thing, even if he didn't mean to. He was absolutely perfect, like one of the gods.
The more you thought about it, the more you realized that it was just natural that the two of you couldn't be together. He outshone you in every way possible. He was too perfect for you, and you could never deserve him, not in a million years. she, on the other hand, absolutely deserved him. She was regal, she always looked perfect, she always said the right thing, she was smart, maybe she wasn't that funny, but that didn't matter. She was wonderful, wonderful enough to deserve him and any other boy in the world that she wanted. You could never be like her, no one could, and that was why she deserved him. That was why she would get him in the end, and your pathetic, average, lame self would not.
You finally understood this, and that was why you wouldn't, no, couldn't try to get in the way of this. It was fate that they would get together, and who the hell were you to get in the way of fate? Exactly, you were no one. You were a pathetic loser who couldn't even stand up and be brave for the man they love. You wouldn't fight for him. you couldn't fight for him. but she would. She would fight for him, and even if you did attempt to win his love, you would never win. You would never win against her.
She was perfect for him, in every way that you could possibly think of. This conclusion was why you couldn't even bring yourself to be surprised when you finally saw them walking around camp, shyly holding each other's hands and happily chatting with each other. Percy raised the hand holding hers, almost as if to mock your pitiful self, and gave you a small wave. All you could do in response was slightly raise your hand and give him a small smile.
You knew, deep down, that this was right. this was the way things were supposed to be. You would never, not ever, deserve a boy like him. He was Percy Jackson, for god's sake, how could a loser like yourself ever even think that they could get with him? 
And that was it, you realized. He was Percy Jackson, and you were, well, yourself. The two of you were from two completely different worlds, and in both of those worlds, nobody like yourself could ever deserve a person like him.
a/n: you can probably tell, but this was honestly my first time writing something like this, but i really enjoyed it. it was the first time i didn't stop writing at all, like zero writer's block!!!! so thank you so much for this request, i really enjoyed writing it and i hope you love it or at least like it <3
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namelesslosers · 5 months
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evermore, part I: Addressed To The Fire - Aemond Targaryen x Cousin!Reader
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summary: You are Daemon and Laena's eldest daughter. You immensely disapprove of your father's marriage to Rhaenyra so that draws you closer to Alicent and her children and when she proposes a betrothal to you and one of her sons, you can't say no.
warnings: 18+, smut, violence, cursing, targcest, MNDI. The reader is three years older than Aemond, who is aged up to 18 here. The reader has mostly Velaryon features.
word count: 12k
a/n: This will be a three-chapter story but I do not have a fixed schedule for posting them, so if you wish to be tagged let me know!
I have to thank the lovely @arcielee for putting up with me since August when I started writing this. It is my first time writing something this long and she was the best person that I could have supporting me and helping me out with this! ilysm, arcie!
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You met him at the ripe age of four and ten. At your mother's funeral. The very same night you helped his grandsire retrieve his drunken brother back to his chambers. The very same night your sisters and cousins cornered him up. The very same night he claimed your mother's dragon. The very same night his eye was taken. Vhagar had a new rider now and the Targaryen family was split in half further than it has ever been since Lucerys' dagger slashed Aemond's eye out. Now it was all a matter of Green and Black.
Surprisingly, from a young age you and the king's first son, Aegon II were somewhat friends. Aegon confided in you the fear that his Grandsire was always brewing some plan to crown him once Viserys was taken from this world due to his illness; how the Lord Hand was always trying to acquire allies to their side, and the fact that he was involved in the politicking since he was out of his mother's womb, it wasn't a hard task. Many lords of the realm weren't too keen on having a woman on the throne. They weren't with Rhaenys and they aren't with Rhaenyra.
Aegon was also the one you had your first kiss with after you shared with him how stupid you felt that you'd be only doing that with your future husband and that he might've been a very bad kisser with a foul mouth. The kisses happened at every chance you had of being alone with the prince. That is all it ever was and had ever been. Kisses with wandering hands and clothed feels. You knew of the rumors of him being betrothed to his sister Helaena, so you never went far from that. You weren't like she was. You wouldn't lay with someone's husband. You weren't Rhaenyra.
Rhaenyra.
You couldn't stand the woman. Your mother, Lady Laena Velaryon, had perished over the complications of birthing your sibling. And Rhaenyra, her so-called friend, didn't waste a moon's turn before spreading her legs to your father. Your mother's body was barely cold when they got wed in the traditions of House Targaryen. It was hard for you to watch it knowing how she was now trapping your father to her side and would subsequently pull him away from you and your sisters. It happened just as you thought. And even when her son took Aemond's eye out, she couldn't even pinch his ears to show disapproval. No, she tried to make the Queen look like a mad woman and diminish her pain and suffering. How you despised that woman.
So, even with the unbearable pain in your chest for leaving your father - who you were the closest to, you decided that being in Driftmark with your grandparents would be for the best. It was a simple night when you sent a letter to Queen Alicent Hightower showing your sorrows and sharing the thoughts of injustice that had been placed upon her and her son. After that, you quickly became more acquainted, and soon enough you started to confide in her as a second maternal source.
Your visits to the Red Keep became also more frequent, without the knowledge of your father. It wasn't long before you found a friend in the queen and her children. Alicent was the one you were closest to. Some nights, away from the greedy ears of the castle she'd sit and brush your hair while she told you of her aspirations of as a young maiden in her time. How she wanted to live in a smaller city with a devout husband who she'd have conversations with in front of the fireplace. How she sometimes thought of saying no to her father's wishes of her comforting the King for his loss when she had no one to comfort her own. The loss of her mother and the upcoming loss of her innocence and future. The Queen loved all her children to pieces. She'd lay her life for theirs, but sometimes she would get lost in the possibility of "what ifs...".
There was once a time when Helaena was with the two of you that it became hard to hold back the combined laughs when Alicent confessed that she used to see your father as quite an impressive young man and how he would be a good husband. Her cheeks were red as a ripe apple and yours were hot at the thought, while Helaena had her eyes wide open and her hand over her mouth hiding her giggles. You truly loved the Queen and she was your closest friend.
Nothing ever happened between you and Aegon again, he was a father and a husband now. He also became a closer friend to you and it would break your heart to see how the possibility of having a crown upon his brow was breaking him apart. He didn't want to be king. He always reaffirmed how he was unfit for the role and would never be a good one at it. So he started spending more time wandering brothels and being wrapped in situations to tarnish his image as much as he could so he'd never sit on the throne.
Aemond was an enigmatic person. Before he lost his eye and after losing it. He would always do his best to make sure his mother noticed how much better he was than his older brother. How responsible and smart he was. He would study the laws of men and politics as much as he could. Helaena would even say that before the accident, he would even try to learn as much as he could of Old Valyria to bring it up at supper for his father always expecting the King to acknowledge him. He never gave Aemond anything but a small nod and then resumed eating in silence. After the night at Driftmark, Aemond never tried to regard his father again.
One thing you didn't take long to notice was how hypocritical your uncle was. His only light was Rhaenyra and her children. If he could, he'd spend days and days talking about them and how he missed his child. Not the one studying abroad in Oldtown. No, the one that did nothing but put the people around her in situations where she'd play the part of a victim and he would buy her crocodile tears. He never gave Aegon, the boy he wanted attention enough. He never gave Helaena, the Dreamer he always aspired to be a slight chance of a walk in the gardens. He never gave Aemond, the dragon rider and soldier, he always admired in the books he read. No, the princess in the ancient throne of House Targaryen, was all he thought about.
Although you weren't as close to Aemond as you were to his brother and mother, he was someone that you also cared deeply for, and always tried to spend at least some time watching him spar with a knight or would sit with him in the library while he read you a story of a Valyrian book. His presence was quietening and always managed to pull you back down on earth with a soft thud in the green yard. Aemond managed to always have this peaceful halo when he was in his element and that only resulted in having you being pulled toward him absent-mindedly.
As the years went by you had always argued with your grandmother and declined all betrothal letters that were addressed to you. No matter who the Lord was. Men of all ages would send Ravens expecting to have you as their betrothed. The letters never stopped coming. Until one night you got one with the Queen's seal, addressed directly to you. She was proposing a good match. You'd marry Aemond and move into the Red Keep with them. She knew that it wouldn't be a match of love, but at least she was giving you the opportunity to be around some of the people who deeply cared for you and not tucked away under the boots of an old lord up north. Your eyes scanned through the small table as quickly as they could and in a matter of few seconds, you already had a piece of parchment out and was writing your response. Your grandmother needn't know until the Queen has already seen your answer. So you accepted. It was best being with people you knew then being humped by someone that could hit you as they pleased. At least you knew Aemond and his character.
You knew it was only a matter of time before your grandmother knew and it was very likely that she would question your decision on accepting without consulting her first. You knew she had no plans on setting you or Baela with your cousins. Your grandmother now sat on the throne of Driftmark, ever since your grandfather left to fight a war and hadn't returned yet. Now the inevitable was happening, a maester confirmed that the Sea Snake was wounded and was being taken by the fever, the chances of his recovery were as high as the ones of his demise. That leads to your great uncle, Vaemond Velaryon, to inquire your grandmother on the passing of the throne. He believed he should be the Lord of the Tides if his brother came to pass. But house Velaryon had long ago decided who would inherit that throne. Lucerys Velaryon would be the heir of Driftmark.
Vaemond not being satisfied with how matters were being taken, sent ravens to Queen Alicent and the Lord Hand, Otto Hightower. He wanted to have an audition on the succession of the Driftmark passing. That triggered most noble houses of the Seven Kingdoms to travel to Kings Landing for the hearing. Both Vaemond and Rhaenyra would plead for what they thought was right.
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You had traveled back to Kings Landing on Dragonback, before your grandmother and sister. Vermithor was quite a fast mount so in less than a few hours, you were already getting acquainted in your usual bed chambers. It would also be your first time seeing Aemond after the betrothal - which had yet to be announced. You weren't as nervous as you thought you would be. He had recently turned eight and ten and you were two and twenty. It was a good time to get married and end the suffering that it was to keep on saying no to the letters back home. Driftmark soon wouldn't be your home anymore.
A handmaid that always tended to you, had a bath ready in your bed-chambers by the hour of the bat to get you ready for the nightly meal the Queen always had prepared when you were visiting. A few traditional from Pentos where you grew up, as well as some of the usual food they had at Kings Landing. You decided to wear a blue dress to represent House Velaryon. The loose sleeves of the dress gave it the impression of being bigger, but the cinched waistline accentuated your body in the best way possible. The white lace near the collarbone and golden details on the fabric also made it look heavier than it was. This was one of your favorite dresses since it reminded you so much of the ones your mother would use.
The knocks on your door went by practically unnoticeable as you were lost thinking of what the next morrow would be like. It was highly possible that you'd see your father in person again after a long time. With the six years that passed since the accident, there weren't many occasions where you reunited with your father. Twice on your name days of six and ten and nine and ten, once when he visited Driftmark and the last one on your mother's death anniversary. Other than that, the two of you would only exchange a few letters. He wasn't the type to write too much, he always preferred to have a face-to-face conversation.
The thoughts were beginning to cloud your head again, so you quickly stood and walked towards the door, since you had told your handmaid, Nala, that you would dress yourself. It was little surprise to see Prince Aemond on the other side of the door. He was wearing a dark green suit that covered well his arms, it also had black patches of leader and silver details through its extension. His trousers and boots remained as dark as they possibly could. He looked impeccable, as he always did. Not a hair out of place.
"Good evening, my Prince," you said and shortly bowed your head.
"Good evening, my lady. I came to walk you to supper. I saw Vermithor this afternoon, but I hadn't had time to speak with you earlier," He said, extending his arm for you to hold.
"There isn't much to worry your mind about. My early arrival wasn't planned. I just wished to spend some time here before tomorrow's fair. It surely will be quite a long morning," your words resonated in the brick walls of the halls that surrounded you.
"Yes, I would expect tomorrow to be quite a bore. It will be a talk of egos and I fear it might already have a winner." He said looming down at the floor before you. "I take it you aren't upset about the betrothal, my lady," his voice went a bit lower as he stopped to look at you.
"No Aemond," You look him in the eye and briefly smile at him "I am quite happy your mother wrote to me. I am quite pleased to get to marry someone I know and that I enjoy the company than some fat old lord that would make me his brooding mare." You chuckle as a small giggle escapes his lips.
"Well then, my lady, I am happy to save you from such a terrible fate," he smirks before he starts leading your path to the dining room once more.
Yes, you could easily get used to having him as your husband.
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You could feel their eyes on you. Your father and his newfound family had their sights on you and how close you stood to Aemond in the throne room. Vaemond was making his petitions and bringing up reason after reason why Lucerys wasn't worth being the next Lord Of the Tides. How he knew nothing of house Velaryon and how Rhaenyra dared to try and have her child there simply because she felt entitled to it. It all sounded disgusting to you. It felt like they were expecting your grandfather to die. Still, the running thoughts could not disperse the feeling of your father's eyes on you. He had not stopped looking at you since he walked into the room following his wife.
The intensity of his eyes made the whole event pass on as a blur in your eyes. Aemond's hand was holding yours as everyone present watched Viserys crawl his way to the throne and, in the only moment your father took his eyes from you, be helped by his brother to sit.
Even if you tried you could not say what went wrong in the following words exchanged. All you knew was that one moment your great-uncle's voice was filling the whole space and in the next your father's sword had decapitated him and Aemond's body quickly shielded your view from the scene, as blood started to stain the ground.
"He can keep his tongue," was all he said before Dark Sister was back in place and he returned to his place.
Viserys reaffirmed Lucerys as the future Lord of the Times, as all expected. Seemed like he used the little life in him to please Rhaenyra once more. In a matter of seconds, he was too tired to even stay on the throne and Queen Alicent had the Maesters and guards taking him back to his chambers. Quickly the small crowd of people left the room.
"Tala," You turned to your father upon hearing his voice checking to see if it was any of your sisters who he was regarding. It was you. Obviously. "A word," and he walked out of the throne room as well. Giving Aemond and Alicent a reassuring smile, you followed behind him.
You walked a few steps behind your father and only stopped when you reached the closest garden where he turned to look at you.
"I assume you are doing well since our last conversation," he began and rested both his hands on his sword handle.
"I am, father. I hope the same for you," you say as you walk closer to him.
"I am, indeed" he smiled and kept his eyes on you. "Your grandmother wrote me saying you denied every lord who wrote for your hand"
"They were all pigs expecting a Targaryen womb to gain their houses a dragon or more," you scoff and roll your eyes. "I am already settled on the matter and have found my betrothed." You declared.
"Ah. Is that so?" He asked amused "And who would that be?" He inquired, but deep down you knew he was already aware of who it was.
"The Queen suggested that Prince Aemond and I should marry to straighten the bond of house Targaryen." You said and looked nervously at your hands. "And I accepted."
"He's a cunt and a spoiled child" he declared in annoyance.
"He's my future husband and I wouldn't like to see you speaking of him in such a way. He's a bright young man."
The urge to defend Aemond's honor rooted quickly in you, that you didn't even think about before doing it. You hadn't seen your father in years and the first thing he does is question a decision you made.
"You can't possibly think that I'd allow such a thing to happen."
"It's not about you allowing it, father. My grandmother is the one I have spent the last few years with. Every lord came to her and I denied them all. Being by his side this morning will start raising the rumors I need and soon enough the whole realm will know. I will not marry any other man so they can stuff me with their cocks and lock me away in a castle to do as they please."
"Still marrying my cunt nephew wouldn't be the best outcome for you," He argues as he walks closer to you. "Think of your mother. Surely she wouldn't want you to have such a terrible fate."
Betrayal flashes your expression as you look at him. You couldn't believe he was using the memory of your beloved mother to make a point of something he believed. Of course, he wouldn't agree with your betrothed, he was Alicent's son and the one harmed by Rhaenyra's spawn. Of course, he would try to guilt trip you in this matter.
"Father, I don't know what my mother would want for me. And I never will because she's no longer with me. I am a woman in a world ruled by ambitious men, I think that if I am granted the chance to choose who I'll spend the rest of my days with, I might as well take it and make the best I possibly can out of it."
Unshed tears are already clouding your vision as you take in his presence. How could you spend most of your life with someone for only six years to turn them into someone you didn't know anymore? How painful it was to see him look at you as if you were failing him when he was the one who failed you. Your mother died and he got married to his niece. Moved away from the home you grew up in, and had Rhaena with him in Dragonstone for most of the time, but she'd still be sent to Driftmark under the premise that Rhaenyra needed all the space she could get due to the pregnancy. He cast you and your sisters aside to defend the honor of a woman who felt pleasure in having too many men in her bed that people question the legitimacy of her children.
"If you excuse me, I must go to the Queen now." The words automatically leave your lips before you even recognize its sounds.
"Sure, do as you must to become their lap dog. Whenever they whistle you'll come and go," His spiteful words got under your skin faster than you could register your body turning around to face him once more.
"Why do you hold so much hatred for the people that were there for me when you left? When you decided that our family wasn't enough you had to get one of your own. When my sisters and I would hear that woman's bastards bragging about how nice it was to have supper with you on their name days eve?" You stood in front of him with your finger pointed to his chest as your body vibrated with the burning heat of his misdeeds."You were the one who decided to leave us to the world's mercy. You are the one who disrespected my mother's memory when you didn't bat an eye when her children were sent away from their father. Why is it their fault that you fucked up and your actions caught up with you this time?"
"I spared you a life of suffering by letting your grandmother have you and your sisters with her. Do you think I wanted your mother to die and get all of us separated? Marrying Rhaenyra was what I had to do to support her claim to the throne and avoid getting all her children killed in the midst of it," His voice was raised now as he started pacing in front of you.
"No, I don't think you wanted her to die. But her death did help you get what you wanted. The woman you truly wanted and the title of King Consort," you shamed your head as you looked at the even grass crushed under your feet. "I guess you got what you wanted in the end. My sisters and I are just collateral damage."
There wasn't anything else that could've been said, so you simply took that chance to leave for your chambers. Your heart was broken and you felt as if the world beneath your feet was crumbling all over again. Out of all the things you expected of being reunited with your father, this was the last of them. You didn't want to argue with him nor bring up past feelings that still tightened your chest. You wanted him to speak with you not as if you were a child that he needed to inquire about their actions, but as a daughter, he missed in the years that were spent apart. That was the moment when you realized that your father wasn't just your father anymore. He was Rhaenyra's dutiful husband who made her his priority.
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You rarely speak with Otto Hightower, and they were always brief conversations. So to say you were surprised when he and Aegon walked into your bedchambers wasn't an understatement. He always held himself tight and stately as if he was holding the world on his shoulders.  Chin high and posture as erect as humanly possible. He had a stern look on his face. He rarely smiled when he was away from his granddaughter or her children. Not a second later after he walked in, the guard that stood outside was dismissed and only the three of you would be aware of the conversation to be held inside those walls.
"I hope that today's events didn't get to your head too much, my lady. That was a very violent act to one of the most important houses in the realm. My condolences for your loss." His voice crowded the room as his eyes were trained on your figure as Aegon sat on the edge of your bed before rolling his eyes. 
"Thank you for your sentiment, Lord Hand. I guess unfortunately my great-uncle was cursed by the looseness of his words." You briefly meet your friend's eyes.
"I've come here to talk about your betrothal to Prince Aemond. We are all very happy that you accepted the Queen's proposal," He said and walked slightly closer to you, as a predator would with frightful preys.
"Say it for once, grandsire. Let's not make the lady anxious, I believe if you want this we don't have much time for small talk." Aegon's brief words didn't make sense to you and you were curious to know what had brought Lord Hightower to your presence.
"Since the eventful morning, we all had. The Queen and I came to a decision. King Viserys' health is decreasing as we speak, so we decided to marry you and the prince today. A small fair of course, we couldn't rush all the preparations, but it wouldn't be less worthy of a prince and a lady of your station."
It was like  your ears stopped functioning and the world was frozen. He wanted you to get married today? How could you prepare yourself so fast for your wedding night?  Was Aemond aware of this? What about your father? Who was at the Keep at this very moment? Gods, you were going to be sick.
Blindly you stepped back towards your back and a few inches to your left, you would've landed on Aegon's lap.
"Today? My Lord, I-" The words were dying on your lips as easily as they came to your mind. You. Married. Today. 
"More like in the next hour, dear friend. Mother and I would be the witnesses." Aegon's voice rang closer to you as a supporting hand touched your arm.
"We wish to give the King a chance to see one more of his children married and his eldest niece as well." 
"What about my father and sisters?" You said as you felt your cold hands reach for your forehead.
"We would announce the marriage during tonight's supper. The King requested a feast for his whole family to be reunited." 
Otto walked towards you and took your hands in his as he looked into your eyes. 
"Trust me, my lady, the whole realm could change in a day's turn, and then everything would be different." His words weighed on your shoulders as a dark and cold feeling washed through your body. "The Queen and a few maids will tend to you in a couple of moments. We shall leave you now."
"Think on the bright side, my dear," Aegon said as he stood up with a playful look on his face. "There won't be any old decaying bastards for a bedding ceremony."
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Alicent and your handmaid came to you briefly after they left. Alicent helped you to put on your dress and the handmaid, Mirella, was doing your hair. Simple braids decorated with small sapphire pins that cascade down your back.  You could barely register what was happening and just followed the rhythm of those around you. No matter the outcome, you knew that today's morning events were just the beginning of what was yet to come. 
The dress that you had on reflected the sky's brightest shade of blue and the clearest waters the seas could ever bring to someone. It was a beautiful piece that came together beautifully with the adornments in your hair and the silver jewelry you were using. You looked at yourself in the full-length mirror and smiled at your reflection. If this was the moment that was granted to you, you have to make it as memorable and pleasing as you could. 
You looked at the Queen who was now seated as she watched you with a kind smile on her face as Mirella finished her work. 
"I wish to say that although you are to become my good daughter this eve, I have always considered you to be my big girl. And I have always wished to see you in a marriage where you would be cherished by your lord husband. I hope with my heart that Aemond gets to be that for you." Her big brown loving eyes were now filled with tears as she met your gaze. 
How grateful you were to the gods that they gave you Alicent. The mother that came in when you needed the most and the one that was taking care of you in the best way she could. How you wished the Gods had shown her the same kindness they did you. She didn't deserve the life she grew used to have. There would never be a lord in the kingdom that would ever deserve her.
Quickly you stepped away from the handmaid and went to her, enveloping her in a tight hug. How could your father hold bitter feelings towards the woman who helped you not to fall as an early victim to the hands of the Stranger?  Alicent has been your rock for many years and only you knew how her presence always kept you going as she healed the wound of your mother's passing.
"There isn't a blessing the Gods old and new could give me that would be greater than you, Alicent. There is no one living that could've been for me what you are. I know that I have a mother looking for me in another life, but she left me the one I needed the most in her absence. I love you as a blood daughter would and I will never stop saying that."
Your eyes now were reddish with tears as you held each other. 
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Aemond was wearing the colors of House Targaryen. He looked handsome as he always did. His coat was leather black and the sleeves were blood red. His golden belt and the emerald ring he was using on his right index finger. He had a serene look on his face as he stood near the septon. Always the dutiful son who followed his elder's wishes without batting an eye. His grandsire and older brother were a few feet down his left side and his mother now stood on his right one. His eyes however didn't move from your figure as you walked down the small aisle.
It wasn't in a Sept or anything that would draw that much attention. No, it was a small room inside the Keep that was decorated with white roses and some green and blue curtains were now painting the brownish walls.
You could barely feel your body moving as you walked towards your betrothed and future husband in the next few minutes. You didn't think that actually walking down the aisle of your wedding would make chills that cold run down your spine. You would claim Vermithor all over again and run to your father with the ends of your hair burning as he scolded you for going down the pit by yourself. 
As you got in front of him, he extended his hand for you to take and led you a few steps near the septon. He smelled of cinnamon and apples and you wondered where did he got those bath oils because they were simply divine.
The whole affair of your wedding was quite short. In a moment you had a Targaryen cape, the one representing your father's protection over your back, and in the next, he replaced it with a Targaryen cape that had green sparkles to represent his own protection and the promise that he'd provide you with a life as good as the one your father had. 
You were together now. As husband and wife from now until fate decides that the Stranger should be the one separating you from the promise made under the eyes of the Seven. 
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The sun was still high in the sky as you walked out of the Sept as a married woman. Aemond's hand holds yours and his family is following behind. Alicent had a light smile on her face, that was reaching her eyes. Otto's stern expression remains but Aegon is becoming a little too drunk to actually have a readable expression. That made you chuckle and it caught Aemond's attention, who also had a gleeful look in his eye and a small smile decorating his lips.
Even if your chest was filled with the rushed emotion of your precocious wedding, your head is heavy with anxious thoughts on how your father would react. He wasn't happy about the proposal and telling him that the marriage happened without his knowledge under his nose was dangerous. He made it pretty clear that he hated the idea of you tying yourself to one of Queen Alicent's sons. A silent prayer to the Gods old and new kept replaying in your head - and you weren't even a faithful person. 
"We will leave the both of you now," The Queen's voice reached your ears as you came to a halt in front of the chambers you were meant to share with Aemond. "I will see the both of you at supper". 
She smiled and touched both of your cheeks with each of her hands, "I'm glad we are all a family now. May the Seven bless this union for many years to come". 
You could feel Aemond's eye on you as they walked away. You could feel how his intense gaze was heating your body up and you looked up at him due to the size difference between the two of you. His sharp features and violet eye were glowing in the daylight and you noticed how you could spend hours just looking at him. His slightly calloused hands were still holding yours when he opened the heavy wood door and allowed you to walk in before he did. 
The first thing you noticed was how decorated the chamber was. Sage-green curtains touching the floor, a few golden candlesticks placed in strategic spots where they'd banish the darkness when the room was candlelit. The bedsheets were dark green and the satin of the pillow cases were bathed in sun rays. There was a bathtub in the other corner of the room, away from the breeze that came in from the windows. The bed was quite big that you were sure it would fit four or three people comfortably in the cold nights. 
You walked towards the bed and allowed your fingertips to touch the soft material as you took in everything around you. Unconsciously your eyes closed as you breathed in deep allowing the warm air of the afternoon to grace your lungs. 
You only felt him when he ran one his hand up your left arm. The loose sleeve was tied at your wrist, but left your skin to be touched freely by his hand. His touch brought a shiver down your spine as his body got even closer to yours. You could feel his warm breath on the back of your neck as a small smile graced your lips. His touch became firmer and he leaned down to briefly touch the back of your neck with his lips and leave small kisses that were burning your skin. You didn't wait much to turn around in his arms and face him. He was so close that your breaths were mixing with each other. 
You would never get over how beautiful Aemond was. How it seemed as if he was sculpted by the Valyrian Gods themselves. As if they knew exactly what to do to create a man as breathtakingly beautiful as the one in front of you. The eye-patch across his face did not diminish this beauty. Just served to make you more speechless as his good eye was glued to you. 
You leaned forward on the tip of your toes to gain a few inches. You lips easily found his and his hands were now resting on your lower back with the same firm grip. Your lips moved together as the both of you deepened the kiss. His lips were soft and your hand was touching his left cheek, his skin just as soft as his hair. 
"I'm not very experienced in this, my lady" He broke the kiss and the words that left his lips were barely audible. 
"Neither am I," you said with a chuckle, it was an obvious fact and you both knew it. "We shall learn the pleasure of the flesh together, husband" 
Your left hand was resting on the back of his neck as he leaned forward to capture your lips in a kiss once more. His hands reached the back of your bodice and tugged on the strings that kept it tight around your body, they quickly came down making your dress loose on your upper body. Aemond's lips left yours as he started kissing down your neck and the little cleavage the shape of your dress allowed you to show. Your hands were now tangled in his luscious hair and you pressed him closer to you once his lips touched your left hardened nipple. 
"Just lie down, my lady," He said once the only piece of clothing separating your bodies were your small clothes.
Even if a small wave of warmth came up your cheeks, you followed his instructions and laid on your marital bed removing the last piece of clothing covering your own body. You were completely bare under his eye and his gaze was fixated on you as he watched you on the bed you were to share from now on. His stare somehow managed to discard any other layer you might've had undisclosed, even if the warm breeze from the outside was bathing your naked body pushing all the shivers away. 
Aemond knelt on the bed as he too, stood now completely bare before your eyes. His pale skin brought a beautiful contrast to the golden-lit bedroom. You could see that his cheeks were also warming up to the fact that he was bare too, but unlike you, you could see the rosy tint painting his skin. You decided to keep your gaze on his face instead of allowing it to go down his body. Maybe another time your eyes would have the chance of becoming familiar with your husband's naked form.
He leaned down until he was almost lying on top of you, now with your legs spread to give him enough space to settle between them. His hair now cascaded around his face in a curtain-like form while also touching the pillow where his head rested. You were the one to kiss him this time. Your hand touches the left side of his face right under his eyepatch as you part your lips to deepen the kiss. Aemond's hands were closed in fists as he held the weight of his body up. You could feel the hotness of his cock pressing against your lower parts. You were very aware of your slick running down your inner thighs.  
With your free hand, you reached between your bodies and touched the tip of his cock enticing a hiss out of his lip as he bit your lower lip. He pressed himself further on you, increasing the little pressure that both of your bodies were allowing his hard cock to have. He reached down and put his member right between your folds as he started to rub himself on your wetness.
Your moans were now leaving your lips without any restriction from your husband's lips on yours. His touch was now burning your skin and all you wanted was to feel more of him. To feel him in ways you had never experienced yet. You wanted Aemond to make you his without having to worry about anything else in this damned Keep.
He wasn't looking at you, his eye was trained on the movement he was doing between your legs. How his cock was sliding between your folds and his tip nudging your clit every so often. Even if he didn't have much experience, he knew you'd be too sensitive soon so he knew he shouldn't take too long to consummate your marriage before it became unpleasant for you.
He backed away from you now using his knees to support his body as he stared at your cunt and used his hand to stroke himself a few more times before returning to his previous position, now with the tip of his cock pressing against your entrance. You were wet enough so breaking your maidenhood wasn't as painful as it could've been. What Aemond wasn't expecting was to feel how tight you were around him, he could barely move and he was scared that if he did, his spend would soon overtake him. He took a deep breath and rested his head on your shoulder and you held tightly to his arm. 
To you, it wasn't an unpleasant feeling either. Just different and you felt so full. Aemond was well endowed if you could say so. You could feel his hard cock slowly sliding further inside of you as he panted on your neck. You felt every single inch going in and when he finally rested his hips on yours, his stones were also touching your skin. 
"You have to stop clenching, dear wife, or this will not last for much longer" he grunted against your collarbone as he started moving at a slow pace.
"Gods Aemond," you voiced as you gripped his hips to bring him closer to you. "Please move"
At your request, he started to move slightly faster but at a rhythmic pace. The white hairs on his  groin were creating a delicious friction with your pearl every time he bottomed out inside of you and as your moans became more erratic and pleading, he began to thrust harder and faster and soon the only sounds coming out of your lips were broken pleas and his name. He had taken one of your nipples hostage to the attacks of his mouth once more. Now it felt like he feasted on your breasts. He switched every time he felt as if he was neglecting one of your hardened nipples. He sucked and bit as he pleased as the sound of flesh slapping together filled in every small crevice of the room.
His grunts were muffled since his lips were latched on your breasts and your nails started creating random patterns on the pale skin of his broad back. Aemond's tights were also wet with your slick and a white ring was now at the base of his cock. He knew he wouldn't last much longer so he increased his pace when he felt you tightening around him. Your walls were becoming so sensitive that you felt like you would come undone at any moment and never recover. As if a knot was tightly locked in your lower body, the moment Aemond squeezed your left breast, it broke and you closed your eyes as a wave of pleasure washed through you. He kept on thrusting into you a few more times until you felt him throbbing and then his seed coated your walls. 
Your breathing was uneven and it felt like you couldn't get enough air inside your lungs even if you tried. Aemond allowed his body to give in and was now resting on top of you, with your bodies still connected. His chest rose and felt in sync with yours and you felt him leaving small kisses at the nape of your neck. One of your hands now laid on his shoulder and the other was gently holding the curve of his back in a tired embrace. 
If being married was a sentence that you could be blessed with pleasure like this every night, you were glad that Aemond was the one who would be giving this to you. How could he say that he was not experienced in this when he brought heaven to your very eyes?
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"I do get trapped in the memories of our childhood in Pentos. Remember when Rhaena fell down behind those trees and only father could reach her?" You say to your sister Baela as the both of you laugh at the memory.
"Oh, I do remember that" she confirms with a giggle "He was so upset, and got us on time out for the rest of the afternoon. And mother was trying to calm Rhaena down and lecturing us too."
"Oh yeah, she was mad at us. That alley got closed in two days though," You shake your head as you briefly glance at your father who is sitting beside his wife.
"What a funny thing for the both of you to remember the disgraces of my life," Rhaena says slightly irritated at the mention of what happened. She carried scars of the incident on her calves to this day. "Father should send the both of you to your chambers just for bringing up this embarrassing moment." 
"We are grown ladies, dear sister. He can't do no such thing," You say as Baela nods her head in agreement.
"Yeah, let me tell him that and we shall see," She says with a hint of a smile on her face now. "I bet two gold dragons the both of you will be put there for the rest of our stay there."
"Oh, you sweet thing" You lightly pinch her cheeks "My lord husband would never let that happen to me. I would pray for Baela though." You smirk behind the rim of your glass as both of your sisters look at you with a bewildered look on their faces and wide mouths.
"Lord husband? When did you get married?" Rhaena asked as she held your upper arm and leaned closer to you at the same time your other sister did.
"How do we not know of this? Does father know?" It was now Baela's voice that was reaching your ears.
"It happened this afternoon. That wasn't the first plan though, but we had a last-minute change. Father knows of the betrothal, found out this afternoon, and wasn't happy about it," You roll your eyes as you remember the brief argument you had with your father this afternoon. 
"But to whom? There aren't any lords free to marry at the Keep today." Rhaena wonders.
"Well, there was one. He's my husband now..." You say with a smirk on your face as you quickly glance towards Aemond who is talking with his brother near his designated seat at the left end of the table. Your action did not go unnoticed by your sisters and they now looked at you with their mouths open.
"Oh Father will have your head when he finds out you're married already and none of us could attend. He'll think it's some plot by the Hightowers to trap one of his daughters," Baela concludes and your younger sister nods.
"Have fun being Caraxes snack, sister" Rhaena concludes.
"Oh, shush the two of you. Don't forget you are soon to be married either."
"Yes, but Father likes our betrotheds and none of them try to impersonate him," Baela's joke makes your cheeks burn as you steal another look at your husband.
"Quiet Baela, he does not do such a thing." You argue and take a sip of the tinted wine in your cup.
Both of your sisters snicker at your response but are quickly interrupted when the guards announce the arrival of King Viserys. Everyone present who wasn't near their seats quickly moved towards the table and their respective spots. Your seat was on Aemond's good side, so your chair was placed on his side at the one end of the table, on the other end of the table were Rhaena and Prince Lucerys, your sister had a wicked smile on her face as she looked at you.
"How good it is to see you all tonight," the King's tired and breathless voice filled the silence that was now in the room. "Together."
It was clear that he was using all of his strength to get through the affairs of this day. In your heart, you pitied your uncle. He was blind to his own family's distance. Or maybe he knew but was too tired to let that get to him. Maybe for his own selfish reasons, he wanted to pretend at least once that everyone in this room enjoyed each other's presence. But it was palpable the brewing tension that slipped in through every crack.
"Prayer before we begin," Queen Alicent said.
You followed your husband's actions and bowed your head in respect of their beliefs of the Seven. The prayer was quick but the snicker your father let out at the mention of your great-uncle did not surprise you at all. You slightly shook your head at his action.
"This is an occasion for celebration, it seems" the King declared. "My grandsons Jace and Luke will marry their cousins, Baela and Rhaena. Further strengthening the bond between our houses. A toast to the young princes and their betrotheds" he said as everyone took their small turns in looking at the couples. 
"Hear, hear," your father said as everyone lifted their cups at them.
"If you allow me my King, " Lord Otto said as he stood up holding his cup in his left hand. "I would also like to raise my cup to Prince Aemond and Lady Y/N who got married under the eyes of the Seven earlier this day."
"Hear, hear," Queen Alicent said with a smile on her face as she was the first to raise her glass.
"It was only this afternoon that I learned of their betrothal and now you tell me that my eldest daughter has married your grandson without her family's knowledge? Without her father's knowledge?" Your father said as he eyed the Lord Hand deadly in the eyes.
The room was suddenly quiet and the smiles that were still remaining up from the toast in your sister's honor faded from most faces, except Aegon's who watched it all with a bored semblance. You reached for Aemond's hand that was resting on the table and he quickly intertwined your fingers with his. Your father watched closely the interaction and had a serious expression on his face. It was clear to everyone around that he was not happy with what happened.
"Who stood as witness to this? If I may ask," your father asked as he now looked around the table.
"It was my decision to rush their wedding, Prince Daemon. Prince Aegon, the Lord Hand and I are witnesses to this union," Alicent said as she turned to look at him. "We wished to gift the King with the news of another one of his children and his eldest niece being married" She concluded with a small nod that left little to be further inquired.
"Ah," was all that you could hear from your father after the Queen's statement.
"May your marriage be fruitful and blessed for many years to come," Princess Rhaenyra intervened with a gentle smile on her face.
"Thank you, Princess," you said on behalf of yourself and your husband but you couldn't shake the feeling of your father's eyes on you.
You decided to let her words soothe the fact that your father was holding such grudges in one of the most important days of your life. After all theses years he couldn't even show that he was happy with a single decision you took that was the best for you. 
"Let's toast as well Prince Lucerys, future Lord of the Tides" To dissipate the uncomfortable silence that washed over everyone, your uncle celebrated once more.
"Hear, hear," Princess Rhaenyra said.
Small conversation started to fill the table after that statement but you couldn't focus on much. Aemond's left hand now rested on your tight as you pulled your chair slightly closer to him.
"It wasn't as bad as I thought he'd make it" You whisper as you lean closer to him with a grin on your face. "No sword was raised" 
"It would be a delightful duel, my lady," your husband said smirking after he sipped some of his own wine. "Imagine having your husband duel for your honor even after we are married."
"It would definitely be a sight for sore eyes, even if it would worry me to the bone," You chuckled but your attention was quickly drawn to the debilitated King who now used his cane to support himself. 
"It both gladdens my heart and fills me with sorrow," his breath was becoming shallower by second as he spoke each word. "To see these faces around the table. The faces most dear to me in all the world yet grown so distant from each other in these past years."
As he spoke it became clearer to you that he wasn't blind to what happened to his family. What he was blind to was the fact he was the main reason why every person in this room had their own reasons for wishing to be away from certain members of the family. He did not see his devotion to treating Rhaenyra as if she was the only child he had and the only one he should have cared for a future with a prosperous life after he was gone. He did not see that when he chose to forsake Aegon from his presence and care molded him into a fragment of what he could've been, if not for his mother trying to sewn ripped parts of what he was meant to be together. 
He did not bat an eye to the fact that when one of his sons was blinded, he stood with his aggressors, and not a single punishment came towards them. Not even a scold. You wondered how could he stand and say those things and mention love when part of his family had never seen that side of him. A side he never cared to show to any of his children with the Queen or to the Queen herself.
You wondered how much that could relate to your own father. Did he love you and your sisters more than he did his new family? Did he love your mother more? Or was this life with Rhaenyra all he actually ever wanted and you and your sisters were the less broken and bruised version of the Princes and Princess that Queen Alicent mothered?
The golden mask that hid the wounds on his face was now discarded on the table. He wished for all to see him as he were. But to your eyes, all that you could see was a man who had failed so many people and yet thought that distance between family was the biggest issue he had thrust onto his relatives. Did the ill feelings he mentioned include the maiming of his son who had never seen justice? Or how his wife had to always fight alone for her children?
The dining room held a dark atmosphere as everyone avoided looking at him. No one wished to see Viserys in this state and it was heartbreaking to see that the rotten side of his face was turned to the side of the family that was with him for all these years when his prodigy daughter sauntered away to Dragonstone. Because in the end that is what it was. The ugly and neglectful side of the Peaceful King will always be the memory that Alicent and her children have, whereas Rhaenyra and hers had the side that he didn't have to hide. The mask he put on the kingdom and the part of himself he always gave her. The father he never was to the children of his second marriage.
"The Crown cannot remain strong if the House of the Dragon remains divided" 
How long could the house of the dragon last then? 
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Helaena's giggles filled your ears as you watched her dancing with Jacaerys. She was glowing and it was obvious that both Aegon and Aemond were bothered by it. Wasn't it obvious to the boy that his uncles really didn't like him and asking for their sunshine sister's hand was an act of challenge in their eyes?
The tension in the room seemed to grow once Viserys was removed from his place and taken to his bed chambers. Everyone tried masking it as much as they could, but it was clear that everyone kept on wishing for the dinner to be over. Soon enough the masks would fall and things would start falling apart. 
Aemond's hand was resting atop of yours as he silently watched and every once in a while, sipped his wine. You could see very well that he was avoiding looking ahead since Lucerys was sitting on the other end of the table beside your younger sister. As you feared Lucerys still felt entitled to laugh at your husband once one of the servants placed a pork in front of the both of you. Aemond reacted too fast for you to even process it and try to stop him. His fist collided with the table silencing everyone getting the attention on him. 
"Final tribute," he said standing up and holding his glass - an act that you and Aegon mirrored immediately, although you remained seated. "To the health of my nephews. Jace, Luke and Joffrey. Each of them handsome, wise..." Aemond's eye briefly met yours and you prayed to the gods that he wouldn't say what you - and everyone else thought he would. "Strong." 
You closed your eyes and quickly moved to grab his hand, but he dodged your touch and raised his arm slightly higher in a mocking manner. 
"Aemond," you stood up and looked at him as he watched his nephews.
"Come, let us drain our cups to these three Strong boys" 
Your cup was long forgotten on the table at the moment you realized your husband's provocation as Jacaerys took a step further in his uncle's direction and looked Aemond deadly in the eye. 
Apparently, Rhaenyra's sons hadn't realized what he was doing. It was an obvious attempt to test their strength and they fell straight into it without thinking twice. 
"I dare you to say that again" Jacaerys who now stood near Helaena but had completely dropped their dancing, said to your husband. 
"Why? 'Twas only a compliment. Do you not think yourself Strong?" 
Aemond had stepped away from the table and was walking towards Jacaerys who came at him. Aegon got to Lucerys first and pushed him down the table with an exaggerated amount of force as he mumbled something in his ear. Jacareys punched Aemond on his blind side but that wasn't nearly enough to make a drop of his wine fall to the floor, as Aemond pushed him to the ground with only one of his hands.
The following moment chaos installed itself in the dining room. Rhaena was holding Baela from getting to Aegon who had walked up to them. Guards were holding Jace and Luke back; Aemond was laughing at the poor attempt Jcareys had on hurting him; Rhaenyra went to her sons.
"Aemond! Why would you say that in front of all these people?" Alicent's voice filled your ears as you walked towards them and were finally able to hold his upper arm.
"I was merely expressing how proud I am of my family, mother, hm... " He said as he looked at the both of you. "Though it seems my nephews aren't quite as proud of theirs."
It was in a brief moment that Jace was able to rid himself of the guard's arms and was charging at your husband once more.
"Wait! Wait!" Your father's voice stopped him and all the attention was now on him and Aemond who hadn't moved in the slightest.
"Go to your quarters. All of you go now," Rhaenyra ordered and once more you were grateful to hear the Princess' voice that evening. 
Your father stood in front of his family and stared Aemond down as if he wasn't more than a boy and his good son now. You felt shivers down your spine as you watched it. None of them wanted to back down and declare the weakest band of the rope, but there was only one outcome at this moment. You could barely hear your husband humming in annoyance before he left. Now your father's gaze was on you as if he was asking "Is this the side you are choosing?" You simply shook your head and left to go after your husband. 
The only thought in your head as you walked down the cold halls was "Would you be here to see the end of your own House?"
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Not finding Aemond leads to you wandering through the Keep's halls in search of a way to disperse the thoughts consuming your head. How could your uncle force two burning ends to meet in the middle of the rope? Has his mind become as decayed as his flesh? It was terrifying to see what a future where he was no longer around would result in. That thought is what makes you walk towards your grandmother's chambers, you knew she was a night owl so she was probably still awake. You needed to share with her your concerns for the day and tell her that you had been married this afternoon. You lightly knocked three times on her door, after greeting her night guard, and she opened it upon hearing your voice.
"Hello, sweet child. I thought you would be spending more time with your sisters and father," She says after the door is closed behind your back.
"Well, we were all together for supper, Grandmother. But there are things that I needed to discuss with you before the night was over," the words leave your lips as you walk toward the fireside inside her chambers and your fingers trace the wooden texture of the chair in front of it.
"Ah, I heard of it. Decided it was best for me to stay away," She said as she sat on the chair opposite to the one you stood behind.
"It was quite the experience seeing the family together," You say dismissively as you thought of everything that happened just moments ago.
"Sometimes I wonder when Viserys got mad..." She starts and you look at her confused. "When did he think that Alicent Hightower was a good choice for a wife? Did he not think that Otto's ambitions were behind it all?" She sighs and shakes her head as one of her hands comes to rest on her temple. "Now we are murdering people in court and having to break bread with enemies. Did he really never notice th-"
"Prince Aemond and I got married this afternoon," You declare, gaining her attention, and now she looks at you surprised. "The Queen and The Lord Hand thought that it would be a kind gesture to the King to see another of his sons married once more. And his first niece too." 
Color drained from her face as your words left her ears, as if she could see something you didn’t. 
"Why wasn't I notified of this? Shouldn't there be people from both your families?" You could her her distressed voice bathed in dismay.
"Prince Aegon stood as my cousin and the Lord Hand as Aemond's grandsire. It is done. I will not be returning to Driftmark." 
"I assume Alicent was the higher authority in this case," she shakes her head and sighs annoyed. 
"She was," you confirm.
A heavy silence fell between the both of you and for the first time in years, you felt like a child under her gaze. As if you had made the greatest mess a child could and ended up breaking a piece of decoration that was a family heirloom. It felt like she wasn't ready to hear it. Deep down Rhaenys felt the same way she did when your mother went to Pentos with your father, only to return in ashes.
"I must ask you this before we part ways, grandmother," you hear yourself as you stare into the flames. "What does Grandsire get from his blind support to Rhaenyra and her children? And please do not scold me for this, I would have to be blind to see that they aren't Uncle Laenor's in the slightest."
Her gaze hardened when she looked at you again.
"Your grandsire does not declare the support of our house on whims. His words did not change from when he first declared his support for the Princess and it never will. You of all people should know that," she declared with a  firm and cold voice. It did feel like she was scolding you.
"And what has that gained him? You? A daughter who died in childbirth alone and a son murdered for the same Princess he swears to support. Her bastard son will sit on the throne that should be passed between our blood. Where is that fair to my sisters and I? The true legacy of both houses."
You walked towards her and held her hand in yours as you knelt in front of her.The difference from her warm hands was very perceptible on the coldness yours had.
"Please, grandmother. You saw what was of Uncle Vaemond," you pleaded as you looked into her hardened gaze.  "Is this what's going to be of us now? No questioning or our heads will end up in spikes?"
"You must remember that the man who committed such atrocity is your own father," she said as she caressed your hand. 
"And that is what worries me. Father was never known to be a peaceful man and now my own husband does not agree with the succession line. What will it be of my life and my children if it continues like this?"
"And what do you think will happen if anything changes now, girl?"
"We'd have a chance at maintaining tradition. How much did Rhaenyra learn about how to rule the Seven Kingdoms while she was in bed with my father in Dragonstone?" You almost spit the words at her as you rise to your feet and start pacing in front of the fire. 
"You can't possibly believe that Aegon is fit for the Throne," she says in disbelief.
"We both know that he will only carry the title and the crown. He won't be ruling Westeros."
"Then why do you wish for me to support his claim?" Exasperation lacing her tone as she asked.
"For the disgrace that was done to my mother's name. And Uncle Laenor's. Do you really wish to serve the woman who commanded your son to be murdered just so she could marry your daughter's widow?"
Once more the look she gave you felt belittling. As if she thought you a fool for the words you said, but for once they were out of your chest. You knew that your mother's memory would never fully rest if the woman who pushed her children away from their father sat on the Iron Throne. That your uncle's honour would be tainted in history if his murderers sat the throne meant for his mother years ago.
You didn't see it coming or her moving, but you felt the sharp sting of the slap on your right cheek and the impact that turned your head to the side. Your eyes teared up immediately as your hand came to the burning on your face. Bafflement came over your expression as your gaze met hers once more and the tears you tried to hold back, crossed the peaks of your cheeks.
"Where did I fail with you?" She said with disgust. "Your mother would be disgusted by these words. She loved her brother and her nephews. You sound like you have been raised by Alicent Hightower since you were a babe. Was that my mistake? Allowing you to be friends with that drunk fool and the stupid daughter?"
Your heart felt like a broken wine bottle. Like all the pieces had been scattered across the floor and would never be whole again. You looked at the older woman before you again as if this was a whole new person. Or maybe just a version of her that you never knew.
"Alicent Hightower at least is trying to do what you never could," You run your hands through your face in a failed attempt to dry your tears. "Keep her children alive. And she will succeed because she will have my support until my dying breath."
You barely hear the door hitting the door after you leave her chambers with your heart in your hands as you try to piece it back together. How could she do that? Were they really blinded by the obscenities that this woman put you all through? From requiring a mutilated child to be tortured to a man being murdered in court just because she couldn't keep her legs shut. 
You could barely care for how loud your steps on the cobblestoned ground was and the only thing that made you stop was seeing Alicent's disheveled frame in front of you as she was followed by her Lady-in-waiting.
"Your Grace, is everything alright?" You held her close as she hugged you after hearing your voice. "Did anything happen? Are you hurt?"
A million thoughts were running through your head. Something happened to her. Someone went after Aemond. Helaena and the children. Every single thought came to you except that one, and perhaps the most obvious one.
"The King has passed," she said with a disconsolate voice.
Her big brown eyes now met yours. Tear tracks were staining her face and she looked at you as if you could give her any directions on what to do now. As if you could tell her how to trace her next steps.
"I- does anyone else know?" You find the small words leaving your lips in a faint whisper.
"No, only the three of us and a serving boy."
"These words should not leave the castle, Talya." You said as you once again held the weeping Queen.  "Should I tell Aemond, my Queen?"
"Yes, sweet girl, but only in the confines of your chambers, and tell him not to come to me now."
"I shall do that, Your Grace" 
With Talya once more supporting the Queen, you hurriedly left to your marital bed chambers and prayed to the gods that your husband would be there. 
Your chest was tight as you sped down the cold hallway walls searching for your husband. You haven't seen him ever since you left the dinner hall and the only place you could think of where to find him was his old bed chamber, so you ran towards it. You tried to dry your eyes and forget the burning on the side of your face as you froze in front of the heavy wood doors. How could you tell your husband his father had died?
Aemond was more upset that your grandmother had smacked you than he was with the demise of his father. Which, somehow,  didn't surprise you after all. Aemond resented his father in ways that you would never be able to understand. Still delivering the news was no easy task. At first, he was completely silent and watching the night sky then he asked if his mother had called for him, which you denied. Only when he turned to look at you did he see the reddish marks of your grandmother's palm across your cheek, he walked towards you and showed annoyance.
"She acted like a tyrant and dared to put her hands on you," He said as he delicately held your face in his hands. "You carry a royal title now just as she does"
"It is nothing much, dear husband," you said trying to avoid going further into the subject "It was an action that was not thought through. She just saw her grandchild once we were alone".
Saying those words wasn't a hard task, but your heart was still immensely broken and its sharp pieces were cutting through you. Once more someone in your family chose Rhaenyra's bastards and their safety over you. That was a feeling that burned and tied a noose around your neck that made it almost impossible to breathe. How could they expect you to turn on your husband and his family when the side they wanted you to defend only met disagreement with violence?
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You have never seen so many of the common folk together before. Hundreds of thousands were standing in front of you as everyone waited for Aegon. Aegon would carry the title of King now and at last, you were feeling some sense of comfort in knowing your dear friend would be crowned king before the masses. You were standing near Aemond, on his good side as you've grown accustomed to.
You wore a long-sleeved black gown, its loose sleeves almost touched the ground. It had a silver floral pattern on the shoulders and the petals of the flowers were sapphire blue. The fabric wasn't heavy and nothing that drew too much attention towards you as did the dresses that the Dowager Queen and the Future Queen had on. The only other specter of color was the belt-like adornment that sculpted your waist, it was forest green. Hightower Green.
"People of Kings Landing, today is the saddest of days," Otto Hightower began as more and more people filled the once-empty space. "Our beloved King, Viserys the Peaceful is dead."
You could see in some faces of people being sad about the news delivered to them. Viserys was indeed a  good King to his people.
"But it is also the most joyous of days," He continued "For as his spirit left us, he whispered his final wish that his firstborn son, Aegon should succeed him." 
For a moment only whispers could be heard in the crowd, but as soon as the Gold Cloaks entered the room, claps filled the air. Soon the hornets started announcing Aegon's appearance.
You looked at Aemond who had his eye glued to the whole scene in front of him. You had an idea of what he was thinking. He had confided just the previous morrow how he thought his brother was unfit to rule and that he would be a much fairer king if he had been the firstborn. He would make a kingdom under his own name and not only allow his mother and grandsire to rule behind the curtains for him. 
Soon swords were drawn and a tent-like row led to where you were standing alongside the High Septon and the Royal Family. Aegon could be seen on the other end of that corridor. As he walked, the swords returned to their previous stops by the waist of the Gold-Cloaks.
"It is your great good fortune and privilege to be here to witness this. A new day for our city, a new day for our realm. A new King to lead us." 
You could clearly see Aegon now. And the tear track marks on his face made your heart tighten a little. Aegon agreed with Aemond, he never wanted the crown and now it was being forced onto his brow. Alicent approached him first and kissed his forehead as Otto took a step back. Aegon now stood in front of the High Septon where he knelt. 
"May the Smith lend strength to his sword and sheath..."
The words of the Septon got lost in your mind and you could only focus on the whole crown in front of you. You wondered how many of them actually wanted to have a Queen instead of a King as it was promised years ago. Would they cause a rebellion? Would they be satisfied with how the succession was taken? Would Aegon understand now that his name would be marked down in history for the rest of time? History that was looking to all of you in this very moment. That could either be a curse or a blessing.
He looked at Aemond who now watched his brother's every move. You knew what he needed in that moment, so you slightly squeezed your husband's hand and he simply nodded at his brother, now King.
"All hail His Grace, Aegon second of his name. King of the Andals, and the Rhyonar and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm.
The Conqueror's crown was now on Aegon's head as he turned to look at the people of the city. And as the bell rang Ser Criston's reached every ear.
"Aegon the King!"
The cheering that filled your ears was something you had never dreamed of, every place where you looked you could see someone cheering for Aegon, and that made you smile as you looked at him. He raised Blackfyre and took in every single sound he could hear that was directed at him.
It was in the blink of an eye and suddenly chaos ruled the Dragonpit. A cloud of smoke and debris clouded your vision and you couldn't barely register your husband pulling uou behind him as you Alicent screamed for Helaena's safety. Your eyes were burning and you could barely breathe properly before you took in what was happening. Your grandmother had escaped her chamber and went for her dragon.
The Gold Cloaks weren't obeying Otto's words and were closing the gates to stop the common folk from leaving and saving themselves. Still loyal to your father, it seemed.
Very hardly you could see many of the folks people dead under pieces of rock or crashed under Meleys feet. Your heart was racing and you could hear it beating in your ears. You didn’t even think before walking past Aemond, you stood in front of Alicent and Aegon and faced the Red Queen. Your grandmother atop looking down on you as you glared back at her with red eyes and a pale face.
That was it. You've made your choice and there was no going back now.
That was the moment you realized what you all had gained front seats for. War was coming and there was nothing that could be done to stop it now. Your father and sisters were on opposite sides of this war and you knew that this could be it. Mourning started to set into your heart as you watched Meleys fly away into the blue sky.
The countdown to the end of the House of the Dragon had begun.
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dividers from @cafekitsune
509 notes · View notes
octoberscigarettes · 16 days
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soemtimes I wish someone who isnt a romantic partner would have cared for Ian enough. like ofc mickey cares immensely and I don't wanna discredit the good he does for Ian. But there are so many things in Ian's life where he needed care and love and reassurance from someone he is not romantically involved with.
being groomed from a young age, and nobody cared enough to see what's going on with kash, and when lip did, he did nothing. when Fiona and Jimmy Steve found out Ian was sleeping with Ned, nobody cared enough about Ian to help him. Instead it was all about Jimmy Steve and his man baby feelings about his dad being queer.
when Ian was crying about the aftermath of s3ep6 and s3ep9, Frank was heading a gay rights movement purely for his own gain, while Ian's siblings feasted on a gift basket sent to their house. Nobody wondered where Ian was, so he was sobbing in his bed, alone.
when Ian ran away to the army, his entire family just accepted it, the fucking Milkoviches were more worried about Ian than his own family.
when in s6 Ian doesnt know what to do with himself, nobody cares enough to show him that his life isnt over bc of his diagnosis. nobody cares enough to tell Ian that he still has options, that he can survive.
when Ian is heartbroken, nobody cares enough about it to tell him anything but "good riddance".
when Ian has a crisis of faith and loses himself in religion and mania, nobody cares about him enough to talk to him until its to late. nobody sees him enough to know if he is taking his meds.
In the Gallagher household Ian doesn't exist. Fiona and Lip are bonding and supporting each other (no matter how angry and misguided sometimes) in their role as the eldest. Debbie and Carl are looking out for each other, and Fiona and Lip always have an eye on them bc they're younger. Liam gets raised by everyone. But Ian just kind of floats around in the void, and while they all may love him, they don't notice him.
Lip and Ian are close, but they aren't caring for each other properly.
As long as Ian contributes to the squirrel fund and doesnt make a fuss, they dont see him.
And once his mental state gets bad they all sit around wondering why they didnt catch it sooner. But they never look.
I just wish that someone would see Ian Gallagher.
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songsofadelaide · 11 days
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Means Something
There were always two sides to a story. Laios Touden was the worst person to fall in love with. But somehow, Laios Touden knew right from the start that you were the perfect person to fall in love with.
cw: Laios x f!cleric reader, manga spoilers, fluff, reader is so whipped for this man - he reciprocates in kind. No use of yn and instead follows my usual naming convention (I use Imogene as a placeholder for yn since it means maiden, which pretty much means yn too). Mentions of procreation (but not the act itself lol), and inaccurate depictions of the Dungeons & Dragons game. wc: 2.6k
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When you first joined the Touden siblings' party, you had the most difficult time trying to earn the trust of each member, especially Marcille, who had some qualms about your skills as a homeschooled cleric. Chilchuck and Namari had the same concern: the dungeon was no place for a noble girl like you, no matter how good you were with your healing magic. Shuro was quick to defend your entry, though, pointing out that as a daughter of nobility, 'you must have had access to only the finest teachers of magic your family could provide.' He was right about that.   
But their opinions didn't matter much when it was Falin herself who wanted you in the party. She happily welcomed you aboard when she heard about your struggles trying to get a party to accept a rookie cleric in their ranks. And if Falin thought you were a good person, then you were good enough for Laios, too. 
"The more people we have in our corner, the easier the job gets done, right?"  
…And the way he welcomed you with a twinkle in his honey-coloured eyes and a smile that shamed the sun was forever burned in your mind. 
Little did you know that Laios Touden was the worst person to fall in love with. 
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When your family caught wind of your party's disastrous exit from the dungeon, you were promptly summoned back to your estate, as though further proving their point that the dungeon wasn't a place for someone like you. Yet you promptly burned the missive and sought out Laios the first moment you could. 
…And you caught him, Marcille, and Chilchuck enjoying a meal made of monsters on the first floor of the dungeon— along with a new dwarf companion, Senshi, who had the street smarts and a taste for unorthodox gastronomic delights. While Laios was delighted to see you, he was evidently more enthralled by the taste of the hotpot he chowed down to the quick. 
And while it tasted amazing, you couldn't help but be a little apprehensive about the whole set-up. "So we've resorted to eating monsters now?"
"You can always head back to the surface if the thought makes your stomach turn," Chilchuck replied nonchalantly. 
"I-I'm staying! I want to save Falin, too!"
"Then let's hear less complaining and start working a bit more, okay?"
Laios was more apologetic. "I'm in no position to be asking for help, but we'd really appreciate having you around. Though our meals and rations aren't… the usual."
Good grief, you thought to yourself. Laios and his morbid, burning fascination with monsters wasn't new to you. He and Falin were cut from the same cloth, after all. His enthusiasm for the unusual was more endearing than repulsive to you and Shuro surprisingly understood your sentiment well enough to agree. You would pretty much do anything for the Touden siblings— even if they didn't ask.
"You don't have to worry about me, Laios. I… I'll be all right! Now let's go save Falin!"  
And if Senshi could guarantee that the monster meals he cooked were safe to consume, then you were more than all right. 
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When Senshi and Chilchuck surveyed your surroundings and deemed it safe to make camp, you did whatever you could to make yourself useful to the party as you always did. Senshi's aversion to using magic for the most basic tasks made that more difficult than usual because magic is all you've ever known. The dwarf would delegate the simplest tasks to you, though, as if reassuring you that your presence is still very much appreciated. 
Food is fellowship.
…Or at least that's how you felt about everything now— ever since Senshi started whipping up all these amazing meals for everyone. Except it isn't just food. 
He often asks you to hand-wash some monster parts before he starts cooking— before transforming them into nutritious meals— "The heat'll kill the germs and all, but washing these adds an extra layer of protection fer us."
You couldn't help but overhear the rest of the party's discussion when they thought you were still busy washing vegetables and monster parts. Senshi said you were surprisingly diligent with your work, no matter how simple it was. 
"That kind of woman will make a good wife, Laios." 
Chilchuck groaned, and you imagined him shaking his head in disapproval. "Don't give him any ideas, Senshi! Party romances are awful and cause nothing but chasms between members!"
"So you must have noticed it, too, Senshi!" Marcille exclaimed rather excitedly. "You must have seen how Imogene looks at Laios!"
"Me?" The tall-man remarked with a look of complete disbelief, no doubt. "What about me?"
You were certain Izutsumi had no interest in this particular conversation and was supposedly curled up in a corner, one ear perked up in maybe a faint bit of amusement.
"Yes, you, you dolt," she replied. "What do you think of Imogene?"
"And don't think we don't notice how you treat her, Laios," said Chil, who surely had an exasperated expression on his face now. "It's like you never learn!"
That's strange, you thought. Laios always treated everyone in the party equally and trusted everyone unequivocally. And while you never paid much thought to how thoughtful he was… Wait, does he really treat me that differently?!
"Well, I think she's…"
Oh, you couldn't possibly bear the thought of having to hear what Laios thought about you. You were cool with being friends and fellow adventurers, never mind the fact that he was more interested in which monster to pair up with which vegetable and spice. Never mind that you've liked him from the beginning. 
"I-I'm back!" You stepped out of the shadows and squeaked at them as you hauled the basin of vegetables and monster parts next to Senshi. "I, uh, did exactly as you told, Senshi. Washed the mushrooms very carefully a-and…"
"Thank ye kindly," he nodded at you as he took the basin from your hands. "You all right, Imogene? You're a little warm to the touch."
"Oh, no! Are you feeling sick?! L-Let's—!" Marcille asked with a panicked look on her face. 
"I should check your temperature just to be sure, Imogene. We can't have anyone getting sick now," Laios stated as he moved to approach you, but you surprised him and the rest of the party by rebuffing his advance. 
"N-No! I'm fine, really!" You raised your hands in defence. "I-In fact, I'm starving! Like super hungry! Humongous hungry! S-So let's get cooking!"
You usually steered clear of Senshi's warpath when he was cooking, but neither Chilchuck nor Marcille could peel you from his side this time, even though it was clear that the heat of the fire made you incredibly uncomfortable. 
"Y'know, Imogene… I might scald ye if yer not careful where you step," the cook said. "How's about you help Marcille with the bowls instead?" 
"O-Okay, Senshi…"
"And don't avoid Laios. He's pretty dense and all, but you and I both know that he'll notice when something's a li'l diff'rent."
A small, ungraceful whine of protest left your lips when you realised just how Senshi never failed to notice even the most minuscule changes in everyone's movements. Marcille was happy to have you next to her and even made sure that you truly weren't sick like everyone thought. 
The hearty meal was portioned and doled out and your eyes were once more inexplicably drawn to the leader of your band, his monologue about the richness of the flavours dancing in his mouth falling on deaf ears save yours… Laios and his praising comments about Senshi's cooking made every meal more palatable than the last, and it made the thought of consuming monsters all the more bearable for you. 
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Everyone was either asleep in their sleeping bags or trying to, and you fell into the latter category. It wasn't just you, though, because Laios approached your bedding almost soundlessly, sitting next to you far too comfortably that your elbows brushed against each other. 
"How are you feeling, Imogene?" 
"Oh, Laios. I'm all right. No need to worry." 
Even in the light of the small, dying embers of the campfire, his sharp features stood out impeccably— the fine line of his jaw, the length of his neck— now exposed without any of his armour, the breadth of his shoulders slightly stretching his tunic, as though slightly showing the tenseness of his arms… His rigid torso— Wait, snap out of it! 
"I see. Let me just check, then." 
Your closeness did not bother you one bit. This was Laios, after all, and he cared for everyone in your party as—
Looking back, he did offer his hand to you more often than anyone else. He frequently entrusted Kensuke to you since you were the only one who could stomach holding the monster sword, too. And the way he'd tell you to 'watch your step, it's dark' with his voice so grounding and reassuring… 
Laios gently held your cheek as he rested his forehead against your own, his eyes closed for a quiet moment as though in silent observation. 
Oh. Oh, dear. 
"Hmm. You do look all right, but you're a little bit warm… Imogene?"
He opened his amber eyes to the sight of your wide gaze and quivering lip. 
Tact wasn't his greatest attribute, but his slight carelessness and cluelessness were endearing to you, too. 
"A-Are you okay?"
"Geez, Laios, you really have no clue what you do to me," you said with a defeated sigh. "Listen to me for a bit, will you?"
The tenseness left his shoulders as you tenderly reached for his hand that held your face just mere moments ago. You lowered your lashes and determined that you couldn't look at him straight, not with his honey-coloured eyes gazing back at you so earnestly. 
"I like you, Laios. A lot. If you want me to be more specific and scientific about things, I like you and I want to procreate with you. I want to have your babies. Philosophically, I like you so much that if we ever die and be reincarnated, I'd search the entire world just so I could be by your side again."
"Wh—"
"A-And you don't have to respond to my feelings at all! Not yet, at least!" You sputtered at him as you finally raised your eyes to meet his own. "We… Saving Falin is our top priority. Everything else can wait!" 
"But—"
"No b-buts, Laios! I—"
"Imogene."
His larger hand squeezed your own, grounding your querulous thoughts until you steadied your gaze at him again. On his face was a pensive look that suggested the depths of his own thoughts, only for his words to betray him. 
"So you're saying you like me to the point of procreation."
What? 
And the warmth you've been trying to keep at bay simply rose to your face once more in the form of sheer embarrassment. "Was that all you heard from what I just said?!" 
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Laios Touden knew right from the start that you were the perfect person to fall in love with.
When Falin mentioned to him that your curiosity about the world drew you out of your esteemed home— regardless of your family's dissatisfaction with your choice of a career— it was like she found herself a kindred spirit. Him, too, he couldn't help but think. And wow, you were pretty. You were reserved but steadfast, and he understood the way of this world well enough to know that your kindness would get taken advantage of if you joined the wrong crew. 
When he lost Falin to the Red Dragon, he expected that you would be spirited back to your home. Still, he felt a weight lifted off his shoulders when you met on the First Floor of the dungeon, your determination to get back who you lost ablaze even though you were faced with the prospect of consuming monsters for sustenance. 
Senshi didn't have to mention it. You truly were a diligent worker who would make any man happy— any home happy. Laios entertained the thought of a warm home with you by his side— maybe with Falin, too, (and the rest of the party, for some reason) but he knew what he had to do to make that daydream a reality. 
And to think that you liked him back all this time. 
You didn't ask for much on your journey into the very depths of the dungeon, but you remained steadfast and faithful to the mission— even when the party entered a whole different dimension, and even when you were faced with the weight and reality of your nightmares and desires. 
—The same look of disappointment on your parents' face. But there was Laios, too. His ash blonde hair and eyes the colour of the sweetest honey from the comb. His long and sturdy arms encasing you in an embrace, the weight of his body over yours, the tenderness of his kiss— (Your stomach round with a baby that looks just like him.)
Even when he became the Lord of the Dungeon, and even when you were faced with his monstrous, chimera-like form, what anchored you and kept you afloat was your steadfast and profound love for Laios and who he was. 
And when Falin awoke from her deep, deep sleep with a hunger for something unearthly, you remembered just how much you liked her, too. 
When you told Laios that he didn't have to respond to your feelings so soon, he respected your fortitude and eventually returned your sentiments in kind by making you his queen, much to your surprise and chagrin. (He enjoyed procreating with you more than he let on. But he'll let his eccentric, boisterous and lively household do the talking for him.) 
As king, he had a mountain of tasks to accomplish to set things in their proper order, but he was never too busy to share a meal with you, and the rest of your friends, too.
The tale of the love that grew between the king of the sunken kingdom, the Devourer of All Things Horrible, and his beloved queen— who was also his comrade-in-arms— became a classic, cherished romance in their kingdom for aeons to come. 
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— 202X.
[ Dungeons & Dragons Potluck Night. Food is fellowship! Adventure awaits! ]
…Is what the colourful poster says. Something about it made you inexplicably drawn to it, as though your heart is saying 'go!'. You moved to this little island town in search of purpose and meaning, but perhaps all you wanted was a place to belong. 
So when the door to the small community club swung open and heralded your arrival, you presented the bewildered group— a young man around your age, his younger sister by the looks of it, no doubt, a blonde woman with a sharp, intellectual gaze, a slightly older man with a penchant for teasing, a heavily-bearded senior citizen whose observant eyes remain razor-edged, and a girl with a black cat— with some oxtail and tripe stew in a savoury peanut sauce while they were still in the middle of a quest they couldn't quite finish on their own, the coloured dice and makeshift board on their wide table seemingly untouched for the last hour. 
You said you didn't have much experience with the game, but you were willing to learn even more about it if you were welcome. 
The young man with the ash blonde hair and eyes the colour of honey beamed at you with a smile that shamed the sun. 
"We've been waiting for you!" He said. "The more people we have in our corner, the easier the job gets done, right?" 
Whether it was fate or the universe conspiring to bring you to him— like a promise made in a lifetime past, it was already pretty clear that you'd fall in love with Laios Touden in this lifetime, too. 
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✦ Means Something playlist ✦ ✦ AO3 Link ✦
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jelluf1sh · 2 months
Note
toji with prompt 5 pretty please
𖦹 ˚ ✩ . ❝​what they're like with kids.​❞
★ synopsis. toji with kids.
★ featuring. toji fushiguro.
★ formatting. headcanons. (from this list.)
★ notes. husband! toji, he's a good dad for once, sfw, so much fluff, megumi and tsumiki are your kids.
꒰౨ৎ — author’s note. i KNOW what my bio says but i'm multifaceted. literally so in love with this deadbeat and i hope it shows. thank u as always for requesting and sorry for the wait !!꒱
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★彡 TOJI FUSHIGURO.
The first time Toji ever felt genuine love was when he put that pretty golden band on your finger.
The second was when he looked into Tsumiki’s big, brown eyes for the first time.
Then the third came with a small head of black hair and the name he’d chosen long before he'd known whether his kid would be a boy or a girl: Megumi.
From then on, life was a journey for him.
Growing up, Tsumiki was much calmer than Megumi, who would fuss and cry at every little thing. His papa wouldn't read to him long enough? He'd bawl his eyes out. He couldn't reach the fridge handle because his legs were too stubby? Waterworks. His toy was missing after he'd been the one to misplace it? He'd throw a fit.
Toji would honestly curse himself for even thinking he could fall asleep for more than 20 minutes before his son would toddle into the room, promptly disturbing his dad's nap by pouncing onto his stomach or latching onto his arm.
You, however, found it pretty funny.
"Shit's not anythin' to giggle about," Toji would grumble at you, his beauty sleep interrupted as you laughed, glaring at Megumi as he clambered onto his father's chest, bouncing his bottom up and down and beating on him with his tiny fists.
There have been multiple instances where Megumi's been in a good mood, though. You'll never forget the pictures you took of him napping, holding his big sister's hand in his smaller one as they both rested on top of Toji's large chest, his hands cradling both their heads while he snored.
Toji is so bad at not cursing in front of his kids. It's a horrible habit, but he can't seem to grasp the fact that 4-year-olds aren't supposed to be saying the same unsavory words that roll off his tongue so easily.
"Fuck!" he'd let it slip a few times when he accidentally hurt himself, and in typical kid fashion, they were always around to hear something they shouldn't.
"Fuk?" The fact that Megumi was the very picture of innocence while such a filthy word came tumbling out of his mouth (and paired with a smile!) rattled his father.
"What's 'fuck'?" Tsumiki asked, barely much older than her brother. Toji could only pray you didn't hear that.
"Wh— not so loud! Don't repeat that shi— that stuff. Yer gonna get me in trouble with Mama."
(you indeed did hear and he got his ass beat later)
Calls Megumi and Tsumiki 'rugrats.'
He didn't realize just how little time he'd have for romance with his kids around. Every single time Toji leans in to press his lips on his yours, no matter where you two may be, they come running from around the corner (apparently, they'd been watching for a while), darting between your legs and making fake retching noises as they giggle at the scowl on their dad's face.
Toji's the kind of dad to lose one kid in the store, turn around to ask the other kid where their sibling went, only to find them both gone LMFAO.
Stiffens up when he hears an "I love you," or even when he receives a hug from either one of his children. Hugs take some coaxing from you, but he doesn't dislike them (he'd never admit it, what with his tough guy persona, but Toji's kids make him so soft inside.)
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cannibalizedyke · 2 years
Note
omg ok i’m sorry this’ll be the last one for now i feel bad 😭😭 but eddie x fem!henderson!reader with mutual pining and dustin is totally sick of it and just tells eddie what reader thinks of him and when eddie approaches her she’s just like “dustin you little shit”
i’m sorry again for putting so many requests in 😭🫶🫶
NO NO SEND MORE COREY BABY I LOVE YOUR REQUESTS I LOVE GETTING EDDIE REQUESTS HON
dude i love henderson!reader it's probably my favorite thing fucking ever
also!! in my head the reader is adopted, i don't want anyone to feel like they aren't being included bc they don't look like dustin :)
part two
💗👛💗👛💗👛💗👛💗👛💗👛💗👛💗👛💗👛💗👛💗👛💗
You always volunteered to drive Dustin and his friends to Eddie Munson's trailer for Hellfire.
It wasn't because you cared about your brother, it wasn't because you wanted to be helpful, it wasn't for any good sentimental big sister reason. No.
You drove Dustin to Hellfire because it gave you an excuse to see Eddie, the boy you'd been crushing on since your freshman year.
Eddie didn't know this, of course. He thought you were like, a good person or some shit, no matter how vehemently Dustin tried to convince him that could not possibly be further from the truth. You were nice, but you weren't gonna waste your time doing stuff for your little brother. That wasn't like you at all.
"Stop shitting on your sister, man," Eddie said, rolling a die. "She drives you to Hellfire, she obviously really cares about you."
Dustin sputtered. "Cares about me!? Sure, but like, not enough to waste her time driving me, Mike, and Lucas here! She drives us cause she's - " Dustin shut his mouth, eyes wide.
Eddie raised an eyebrow. "Cause what, Henderson?"
Dustin shook his head vigorously. "Nah, she would kill me if I told you."
Eddie licked his lips. "Ooh, so your sister has a secret?"
Dustin looked absolutely terrified.
"Tell us, tell us," Eddie started chanting, and before long everyone else had joined in.
Dustin was scared of you, but he was more susceptible to peer pressure. "(Y/N) drives us cause she has a giant crush on Eddie!" Dustin covered his mouth.
Eddie's mouth dropped open. "No fuckin' way, man, you're makin' shit up." He laughed. "Tell us the truth, Henderson."
"It is the truth!" Dustin insisted. "She like, talks about you all the time, like to her friends and stuff. She thinks your rings are really hot." Dustin winced.
"Dude, your sister really likes me?" Eddie asked, leaning forward with wide eyes.
"Yeah, but don't give her a hard time about it, okay? She's sensitive to rejection, man."
Eddie snorted. "Give her a hard time? Nah, man, I'm gonna ask her out."
"What!?" Dustin shrieked. "No, no, siblings are off limits."
Eddie smirked. "Too bad you don't make the rules." He checked his watch. "Oh, and it looks like she'll be here in just a few minutes to pick you up." He rested his feet on the table and reclined back in his throne. "Dude, why didn't you tell me sooner? Your sister's hot as hell, man, I'd go out with her in a heartbeat."
Dustin groaned, covering his face. "That's disgusting, Eddie."
A banging sounded at the door. "Dustin!" you yelled. "Hurry your ass up!"
Eddie perked up. "I'll get it!"
"No, no, Eddie, no!" Dustin begged, but Eddie was already running toward your knocking.
"Let's g- Eddie?" You looked at him, eyes wide. "Oh, um, hi." You swallowed.
"Hey, Henderson." Eddie relaxed against the doorframe, grinning at you. "So, Dustin told me you have a crush on me."
Your mouth dropped open in horror. "DUSTIN I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU - " You started toward your little brother, who screamed.
Eddie held you back. "Nah, nah, (Y/N), let him be. If he hadn't told me I wouldn't have known I could ask you out."
You stared dumbly. "Ask me- What?"
"Wanna go out with me? I mean, I know you're totally out of my league, but - "
"Fucking hell yeah," you replied breathlessly.
Eddie grinned. "Great. Here, tomorrow night at nine? You can pick a movie."
"Sounds awesome." You were still in shock.
"Oh, and here." Eddie slipped off one of his rings and handed it to you. "Since you think they're so hot." He winked.
You glared daggers into Dustin. "You fucking owe me, you dick."
"Yeah," Dustin squeaked.
"Let's go." You grinned at Eddie. "See you tomorrow, Munson."
Eddie grinned back. "See you then."
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lxdymoon0357 · 9 months
Note
Hey hey aurelia 🥰
May i request a yandere Chamberlain siblings and Irene with a fem knight reader? Where reader is a knight of claudia from childhood but got killed by the males leads because they thought that reader is really close to claudia?
U can ignore it if you want!^^
Have a great day ☺️
(Hey Yev! Thanks for requesting this! Trigger warning: murder, hanging, etc. Yandere content also written with female reader in mind, but it is gn)
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Yan! Chamberlain siblings X Knight! Reader X Yan! Irene (platonic)
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☢ Irene read about you and how you were a middle class noble's daughter, your parents supported everything you do even when you asked to be a knight to your darling friend Claudia, you trained with Felix and soon you became a knight due to your hard-work and became Claudia's right-hand (wo)man!!!
☢ But you were unfortunately killed brutally by the three male leads, which made Irene very MAD obviously, you were her favourite, and then when she turned into Irene, she was destined to make sure you were safe. She didn't care what happened, you were going to be happy and her ship is going to sail!!!!
☢ You, Irene and Claudia are the most amazing trio, both Claudia and Irene ready to throw hands for you, a knight very much strong enough to kill three bears if they attacked at the same time, yeah, it is the trope of a big gentle and two small angry gremlins, it's fine, you like your two very pretty gremlins!!! You're very chaotic to be around, ngl....
☢ Felix often helps you train and Lerase is also there, he is impressed by your strength and finds you nice and entertaining and often leaves you alone when he is in control of Felix, he doesn't like to hurt, not only because he likes you a bit but also because Claudia and Irene will not leave him if he does so, does not matter if he is in Felix's body or in the demon realm...
☢ The moment, Claudia, Felix or Irene see any of the male leads even in a 100 meter radius, they are ready to rip someone to shreds, especially them who cheated you and killed you after betraying you, yes they gave you a love potion and then killed you in cold blood just like with Irene right before kidnapping Claudia...
☢ You also taught Claudia and Irene some sword fighting and self defense to protect themselves in case you aren't there, but it wasn't much of use cause you're always near them and always there to protect them and help them
☢ Claudia and Felix are very much in love with you, the siblings always fight on who will spend more time with you and Irene always win in that matter, cause she is your elder sister, does not matter if you're 100 and she is 12, she will be your ELDER SISTER!!!! She approves of the Chamberlain siblings and would allow you to date them on one condition, they keep you away from the three male leads, Lerase is also not one to back down as well....goodluck to you!
☢ Anyways, Felix and Claudia constantly flirting with you, Lerase also flirting with you late at nights, but dirty flirting with you which makes you blush and heat up and Lerase chuckles and smiles at you, for the first time in a million years, you don't know what these feelings are and oh! If you ever see them kill anyone, just walk away, pretty person~
☢ Also, Claudia, Irene and Felix killed the three male leads, if you're wondering how, Claudia flirted with them or they asked you to meet somewhere but they got the letter and then BOOM! Murdered!!!! They got their head crushed, stabbed, hanged and other things I won't mention as it is too graphic, but not like they care!!
☢ Okay, now father Chamberlain does not mind his child to be dating you, in fact he will get you married to the two underground where same sex marriage and poly marriages are allowed, so anyways, you got married to the two....Somehow, turns out it wasn't a dream....you get Irene and father and mother Chamberlain's blessings and prays, they love you!!!
☢ okay, now that you're married to Claudia and Felix, them sharing you, one thing that is frequent is, both of them will have you to themselves separately for a whole day, they're siblings and so they know how to share things well, they do get jealous at times though... It's fine, they have you on their lap, your head on your lap or them on your lap, cause they don't care and equality!!!
☢ Oh, please train in front of them in a tank top or something like that, they love your figure, does not matter if you're chubby or skinny or anything else, they find you attractive for you and your body and your great beauty was just a plus point!!
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forgeofthenine · 3 months
Note
Hi, I love your blog ♥️
I was hoping to get some headcanons for Zevlor and the others, for when their non-tiefling partner tells them that it's not that difficult to read tail language because they've had cats for most of their lives and tieflings are similar enough.
Since we're already likening Zevlor to a wet cat, might as well go all the way. Tell him to his face that he's just a grown up catboy >:3
I honestly cackled at the last line of this ask, this entire thing was a pleasure to write and I hope you enjoy!
The bachelors when you compare them to cats
Dammon
You'd known Dammon for a while now, learning the blacksmiths little quirks and attributes
One think you'd picked up on a while ago was the way his tail moves
Your eyes were often drawn to the way it would wag and curl in your presence, how it never quite seemed to stay still
It was only when you'd been giving a stray cat hanging around Dammons forge a scratch that you'd connected the dots
The blacksmith definitely wasn't expecting you to understand what his tail language means the next time he sees you
Having your partner matter of factly point out your excited tail wags is enough to fluster even the most self assured tiefling
When you compare him to a cat he gets even more flustered, letting out a light laugh as he asks you to be a bit more specific
Honestly, Dammon kind of likes the comparison despite being more of a dog person
He'll join in on making jokes about Tieflings being half cat, or saying that he's secretly a cat in a tiefling suit
Dammon is very chill about the whole thing and definitely appreciates having a non tiefling partner that can read his body language
Zevlor
Zevlor has a habit of dragging his tail when he's tired or upset while in the privacy of your shared home
He gives big sad cat energy a lot when he's recovering from his time on the road
It definitely helps you to know when he needs a bit of extra care and affection, being able to read his mood through his tail
Seeing the way it sways slowly when he sees you despite how it was layed on the ground originally
After some time, Zevlor starts to wonder how you always seem to know when he's in a bad mood
Sometimes you know even before he does
When he asks, the last thing he expected you to say was that he acts like a sad cat whenever he's upset
Zevlor is quite literally speechless at that, you can even see the cogs turning in his brain
He'll be confused by the idea but it doesn't change how he moves his tail is when you're around
Every time you liken him to a wet cat it's like trying to explain an internet phenomenon to your out of touch grandad
The way Zevlor is always so adorably confused and accepting of it as a compliment is definitely a sight to see
Rolan
This ever proud wizard is definitely an easy one to read, even if you aren't used to cats
His tail lashes behind him when he's annoyed, it curls in on itself when you praise him for his magical ability, it sways lightly when you enter the room
Bringing up his similarities to cats is something that just happens naturally
The two of you are reading in his study when he drops something and lashes his tail in annoyance
When you mention his annoyed tail language he assumes it's his siblings who explained it to you
He's halfway through cursing Cal and Lia under his breath when you say he's actually acting like a cat
It's enough to completely stop him in his tracks, furrowed brow as he considers your words
Rolans much too proud to let himself be compared to a cat without complaint, and bringing it up is an easy way to get under the wizards skin
His tail flicks around behind him and his face glows an even brighter red
Even better, get Cal and Lia in on the joke!
Make Rolan regret ever introducing you to his siblings, trust me, it'll be really funny
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gtgbabie0 · 10 months
Note
hi!! i love your stuff so much - they’re so cute and comforting!
i’m very insecure about how i look in a swim suit, and i was thinking of something where leon noticed the reader acting differently while they’re at the beach/pool and comforting them 💕💕
-Leon Kennedy x reader
{Insecurites aren't something that change overnight, so you take it one step at a time with Leon}
Thank you!! I hope this is okay sweetie! 💕💕
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The crease between your brows only gets stronger when you start to study yourself in the changing room’s mirror, notching how your swimsuit-clad body seems almost off-putting? and you wince at the thoughts that plague your mind.
You had tried to talk yourself out of these feelings, counteracting the self-hatred that seemed to have a vice-like grip on your heart but it was pointless especially when the thoughts were so obtuse in the forefront of your mind. Maybe coming to the beach with Leon and the Redfield siblings was a mistake.
You jump slightly when Claire knocks on the door, “Are you okay?” She asks with the sweetest tone, she’s always been such a good friend, you should tell her the truth, but at last, the words get caught in your throat and instead, you just let out a quick.
“Yeah, I’m good!”
You wipe the tears that prick at your eyes, letting out a shaky sigh as you slip Leon’s jacket back on, thankful it’s big enough to cover your behind.
It was a lovely day the sun was out and there were barely any clouds, and you knew the breeze wouldn’t last long, but there was no way you were going to take off this jacket.
You and Claire walked back down to the beach, hot silky sand beneath your feet. She asked if you were getting 'too warm' to which you politely just shrugged off, telling her how the breeze was making you a little chilly and you were glad that she didn’t push.
Leon watches you walking over, completely forgetting about his game of frisbee with Chris, and he frowns at the zipped-up jacket that covers you. Won’t you get too hot?
He knew something was wrong with you, through the whole car ride you were quiet, nervous almost, but even then thinking back to it, you started acting off when Claire first brought the whole beach trip up. He curses himself for not talking to you sooner.
He sighs watching you talk to Claire, you ask her for the car keys as she hands them to you, and you start walking back to the car.
Leon snaps out of his thoughts as a plastic frisbee hits his head, “Ow! What the-” he spins around to Chris who gives him a strange look, throwing his arms up in the air.
“You're gonna keep losing if you don't pay attention,” he says with a chuckle, trekking to go and collect the frisbee.
Leon says something about going to check up on you, and he certainly doesn’t miss the way Claire gives him an understanding look.
He notices you’re sitting in the car, your palms against your eyes as you wipe away your tears. You felt so silly and it only made you cry all the more, the sight made Leon’s chest tighten.
You look at him with a strained smile as he opens the car door, “C’mere baby” he says taking your hand as he helps you out of the vehicle before his arms encircle around your shoulders.
Now you feel even worse as you curse yourself for ruining a perfectly good day, “M’sorry Leon, I just hate -” he doesn’t let you finish the sentence as his big hands cup your face with such care.
“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the way you look sweetheart” he says pressing a kiss to your hairline, and your heart tightens. He knew, of course, he did. You’ve never met anyone who knew you as well as Leon did.
"You're beautiful, inside and out honey," he tells you, and Leon knows there isn't much he can say to make your insecurities just disappear, no matter how hard he wishes he could.
His words leave no room for doubt but there’s still a twinge of embarrassment that pinches at your skin as you try to bury your face into his shoulder, “I’m overthinking everything- I’m sorry” you mumble, biting back the sob.
Leon hates the way you go frigid in his arms, “Don’t apologise baby- you’ve got nothing to apologise for, you hear me?” He says and you nod with a weak ‘yeah’. He can still tell how uncomfortable you are with how you seem to go on yourself, shying away from him and it hurts more than you’ll ever know.
“Hey, I packed, something one second,” he says before disappearing behind the car, he opens the trunk and he soon reappears with a pair of shorts in hand, his shorts. “If you don’t feel comfortable then you can wear these yeah? Better than you overheating in this, honey” he says, tugging on the sleeve of his jacket you’re wearing.
You nod with a weak smile before slipping the shorts on over your swimsuit, he walks over to you with love in his eyes as he tightens the drawstring into a bow, “There you go, beautiful” he presses one last final kiss to the corner of your mouth, relief washing over him when you finally give him a smile, a real one.
"Thank you, Leon" you sigh as he wipes away a stray tear before pressing another kiss to your cheek, his lips against your warm skin as he whispers a loving, 'You don't have to thank me, sweetness'
You remember something that Leon told you once about ‘taking it one step at a time’ and his words warm you as you shrug off the jacket. You know insecurities aren’t a thing that can be broken overnight, it's something you had to work through, so, you’ll take it one step at a time.
Leon’s hand rests against the small of your back in a comforting manner as you both walk side by side, “You know, I think I might need your help, sweetheart, Chris was beating my ass in frisbee” he says, looking over at you as you giggle, saying something about how you’d ‘love to be on his team’
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tired-hellowl · 1 month
Text
here' a comprehensive list as to every problem I have with the current *unecessary characters known as 'Glitz and Glam'
Do they expand the story/worldbuilding in any meaningful way? Do they explore a new hidden dynamic/past conjunction with a differing character and is that explored meaningfully? What was the point of having them animated when Mammon can portray the same level of humiliation/degrading/on stage lack of positive reinforcements. 😐
I'm so sorry but I view these characters as necessary garbage that caused some animators arthritis via too many patterns, not enough screen time to have meat and potatoes worth of dialogue, or really any pretense within the story whatsoever and yes this extends towards every female character on screen but let's not worry about that !!! Even if they are IMPLIED to be from the ring of envy-a color or ring we haven't seen nor meaningfully conveyed to the audience that it even is possible to go in/exists- it isn't conveyed to the audience well enough besides the visual implication of colors???? Instead of having shitty b-plots that go nowhere via Stolas and Blitz goofing off in seeing stars, Moxxie and Millie getting C-plots for no reason, or loona getting a rabies shot- all of that time could have been exploring hell, going to different rings, focusing on other characters besides the main 5, literally I would prefer a quiet episode like BoJack Horsemans 'Fish out of Water'where we can actually see the personalities of the main characters be appreciated and shown to us but that's never gonna happen :/
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What I've been worried about is not even the on screen racism/out of touch 'rap/hip-hop parody' leaves a terrible taste in my mouth, if that isn't enough then the sexualization/implication of an incest type dynamic and nothing else besides fetish bait with these characters constantly grabbing one another and not really acting like siblings moreso someone who has never had siblings attempting to write sibling banter and failing terribly :/
Why do you have a problem with 'Klown Bitch' it's so catchy! Uhm, no??? I feel bad for anyone who attempts to defend helluva/hazbin as good modern musicals let me grit my teeth in silence as to the glorification over white people dominating black culture
HERES A HISTORY OF FEMALE HIPHOP ARTISTS: X
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Pictured above is very old concept art about twin characters and its the same hairshape viv kept to transfer over to glitz/glam- despite clearly being over designed and way too much going on Alá vivzie style. It just goes to show she recycles even from herself and not every design is always new hot and fresh :/ AND SPEAKING OF CONCEPT ART-
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Also also don't forget salems' concept designs thst got passed even though they loon toony, loony, clown enough, and definitely majorly way easier to have animated besides the mess that is the current design meta ???
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Love how you can clearly see the silhouettes being so easily identifiable comparably towards the actual amalgamated mess that is their current limbs attempting to hold onto their toothpick body for their head.
All this screams to me is viv using the artists thst try to come onto helluva and they try their best with what their given, viv only picks the best bits SHE thinks is worth her time rather then thinking about the audience or animating anything else besides overglorified white people rap 🤔
Also the episode literally presents its full internalized misogyny/racism within this episode because vivzie herself literally admitted to typing into script with a full chest that
'Women just ain't funny'
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. . .
why present misogyny within the series if you as a creator aren't willing to tackle the subject matter? Why write about it or present it as if you're smart over including the joke in your script when it isn't even funny because it just further pushes women out of the entertainment/comedy business which mind you IS ALREADY VERY WELL MALE DOMINATED SO PUTTING OTHER WOMEN DOWN TO PUT YOURSELF UP ISNT HELPING YOUR CASE VIV???
So then what was the point of adding female clowns if all you were going to do with them was make fun of them out of their expense and then profit off of the fact that they are incest coded????????????
?????????Are we watching the same fucking series????????
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smok3r7 · 4 months
Text
Latching On To You
Joel Miller x F!reader
Explicit, 18+
Chapter one: History Lesson
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Series Masterlist & My Main Masterlist - My Ao3
Series summary: What happens when, after thirteen loving years of being with Joel, you start to feel like he’s slipping away from your grasp? How much of yourself will you lose because of the trauma your father put you through, at such a young age? You could be wrong about Joel, but something is telling you otherwise - or are you just not healed enough to see past your own insecurities?
Chapter summary: The beginning of you and Joel is a story that most can’t relate to, truly one of a kind. The history between your father and you, explains how the trauma shaped your mind and future. You and Joel have a bond like siblings for the longest time, but as you grow older and independent, a stronger connection is formed - which leads to your blissful beginning of your life together.
Word count: 4.4k
Warnings: age difference in the beginning (15/20) NOTHING SEXUAL UNTIL READER IS OVER 22 & JOEL IS 27!! No use of y/n, no outbreak AU, no Sarah AU, smoking weed and drinking, abandonment issues, trauma from father w/ alcoholism, attachment issues, HEAVY ANGST, daddy kink (minimal), unprotected P in V, fingering, mutual pinning
~So here we go ladies and gents! My first story back, I cannot wait for you all to read this, I’m not sure how long of a series this will be but this is a start! Thank you so much to @chloeangelic for helping to revise this and giving me tips, I really appreciate your help babes🫶🏼
“Aren't you somethin' to admire?
'Cause your shine is somethin' like a mirror
And I can't help but notice
You reflect in this heart of mine
If you ever feel alone and
The glare makes me hard to find
Just know that I'm always
Parallel on the other side
'Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go
Just put your hand on the glass
I'll be there to pull you through
You just gotta be strong” ~ Mirrors by Justin Timberlake
——————————
You and Joel pretty much grew up together in your teen years. His mom actually worked with yours at the hospital as nurses in Austin and that’s how they became close, like sisters. Hence how the Millers became a pretty huge part of your family, resulting in Joel and you meeting. You guys happened to also live across the street from each other - complete coincidence. You had just turned fifteen, and Joel had turned twenty, only a month after your birthday when you guys started hanging out. Joel wasn’t going to college because he was working full time, saving up the money he made so he could buy his dream house he talked about and maybe even venture out a little bit. But since he was living at home, Joel would watch over you a lot while your mom was either working, out with friends, or with his parents.
Your home, that had always been a two parent household, had now gone down to a one parent household in a matter of seconds, or so it felt like. Your dad was always heavily involved in your life with everything you ever did and he loved you unconditionally, but it was as if something switched in his brain, and he suddenly started to drink all the time, then distancing himself from everything the last four years. After the second year of him acting like a mess, you brushed it off that it’s because you were becoming a teen and that’s just what happens, that you weren’t “Daddy’s Little Girl” anymore.
But as months passed, you started to notice how bad it really was. He was drinking so much that he would pick nasty fights with you and your mom. He needed it to live at that point, where he would wake up at night from withdrawals. But the part that will forever leave you scarred, the part that causes your heart to break the most, is how he left.
It was the morning of your fifteenth birthday that your mom told you that he left, the bastard packed up his bags and left in the middle of the night. No goodbyes, no big hugs, and no apologies while he bawled “I love you baby.” Absolutely nothing.
Since then, now in your mid twenties, there’s been radio silence from him. You haven’t heard anything, which you honestly prefer after how he left things. But after all this time you still don’t understand where your relationship went wrong or what you did wrong for your father to drastically change like that.
But like a blessing in disguise, here came Joel and his family to help you and your mom. Joel’s parents have been good friends with your own since you were little, so they were caught just as off guard as your mom was when your dad just packed up and was gone. Since your father left, Joel’s parents have been a godsend for your mom. She was the one who went into a spiral because her and your dad had been together since they started high school. Least to say, she never saw this coming, not then and not in a million years. It truly broke her, and you were scared that you would lose her too.
Throughout high school, you and Joel hung out but still slowly drifted apart as he was working all the time and you were focused on school. You were okay with that - you needed a bit of a distraction from Joel, mainly due to having the world’s biggest crush on him and the fact that you were getting a little bit attached to him. Ever since your father left, you tried your best to avoid serious relationships of any kind in fear of them suddenly leaving you. But it was different with Joel, you always thought he was the most genuine person there was and you knew he wouldn’t leave you.
He would play the silly games you wanted to play, listen to whatever drama was happening with your friends, and he would help if you were having any trouble with the feelings that you had regarding your father; if you could even call him that. However, you’ve never told Joel about your feelings for him because, well, at that point you weren’t eighteen, so that would be wrong on his end. But you also didn’t want to ruin the relationship you guys had. You two were literally best friends and you were scared that, if you went any further, that he would slink away from you, just like how your father did, and you didn’t think you could take another emotional loss like that.
As soon as you graduated high school and had celebrated your nineteenth birthday and Joel’s twenty-fourth, you and Joel would hang out all the time. You pretty much lived between your moms and Joel's two bedroom house he ended up buying a year prior. You got a part time job at the local bar in town and only worked early afternoons. So, you had the evenings to do what you wanted, which usually included something to do with Joel - worked out great since he got out of work just an hour before you. You two would go hiking, fishing, you’d kick his ass in card games or a lot of the time, you would smoke some weed and have some drinks together and talk about whatever was on your mind.
After your twenty-first birthday, you had gotten a job as a receptionist at the largest law firm in Austin. You were doing really well for yourself, considering your work history - which altogether was not that impressive. So you were really proud of yourself for not giving up and continuing to strive to better yourself. After getting this job you finally felt like you had a purpose, you didn’t feel like you were floating around lost and barely getting by. Your mom was so happy for you, so happy in fact that she threw a party to celebrate you and your success.
You’ve never liked parties that had you as the center of attention, but you knew that your mom needed this more than you did. Ever since that night, your mom did the best she could to hide her feelings around you, but you knew she was breaking internally. So you’ve let her make a big deal out of anything - even if it’s small, for example; About five months ago you had made a beautiful painting of a cabin that you and your mom love to run away too sometimes. She had loved it so much that she showed it to everyone and somehow she ended up getting it put into a little gallery downtown. So needless to say, you adore your mom and will let her be happy by letting her throw you celebrations for even the smallest victories.
After getting settled into the job, there were a couple months where you and Joel didn’t see each other. Nothing was wrong, it just kind of happened, your mom needed you at the house and the new job was taking all your time and attention - Joel understood completely and was so happy for you. However, deep in you, there was a part of you saying that he was distancing himself and he was going to leave you. You almost felt like he sensed that because you two would just chitchat on the phone for a couple hours when you both had time instead, and this helped ease your mind and confirm that he wasn’t going anywhere.
Around a year and a half goes by, as does another round of birthdays, and one promotion that you couldn’t believe you got. You are proud to say that you have finally found a healthy mix of home life and work life. You pretty much have been living at Joel’s for the last three months, which naturally started happening because the commute to work was shorter by twenty minutes from Joel’s house. You still pop over to your moms to grab a few things, hang with her for a day or two, make sure she’s good, and then you’re back off to Joel’s. You’ve honestly been really happy with how your life has been going, you couldn’t be happier.
It’s a calm summer evening, warm enough for the bugs to be out but the breeze helps to keep them away. You and Joel are sitting out on his gorgeous back patio that has string lights from tree to tree like a roof, a good size fire pit in the middle of the circle of comfortable lawn chairs - this is your favorite place to be.
You two are talking about how each other's Friday went, which led to Joel bringing up that since you’re here all the time, you should just move in with him. You used to joke around about living together anyway, so when he brings it up as he puts more logs on the fire you started, you just brush it off thinking he’s joking around like he always does.
You laugh as you say, “I remember we used to say that all the time,” looking up at Joel after lighting the blunt you rolled, quickly realizing he’s not joking this time. You oppose at first, not wanting to step on his safe space more than you feel like you already have. But Joel stops your rambling by saying your name as he sits back down next to you and grabs your hand on your thigh.
You instinctively stop rambling and start listening to him talk, “I’m being serious. You’re not a burden. I love that you come over, I honestly don’t know what I would do with myself if you weren’t here. If I didn’t want you here, I simply wouldn’t have asked you.” You’re left speechless, a tear starting to roll down your cheek as you take a hit off the blunt. You hand it to him and, before you can say anything back, you start coughing like you’ve never smoked before. Joel just starts laughing at you, his laugh so genuine he leans back into his chair, putting one hand on his belly and the other arm folding over his head.
“Shut up, Joel! You act like this never happens to you!” You spit between coughs and sips of water. Joel calms down with his laughter as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a hit.
“No darlin’, you always know how to ruin tender moments.” He goes to put it out so you can recover but, before he can, you grab it from him.
“Um, Miller, I’m not done with that. Also, just for the record, I don’t always ruin the moment. I just make them an even better memory for us,” you wink as you blow smoke out into the starry night sky, watching the soft wind make the smoke disappear. He looks at you and just shakes his head as he smiles to himself and says, “That you sure do, sweetheart…that you do.”
You two sit back into a comfortable silence as you watch the flames dance around and listen to the bugs chirp making their own melody. After a couple rounds of passing the blunt back and forth, Joel puts it out in the ashtray next to the two of you. “The offer is on the table, always will be,” Joel says, looking into the fire as he sits back and puts his arms over his head and leans back in his chair. You smile to yourself, knowing he was not going to give it up and, honestly, you wouldn’t either if it was the other way around.
You lean back and turn your head to your right and look straight into his beautiful brown eyes, your high starting to catch up to you and you can feel yourself beginning to look at Joel in a hazy way. Your eyes start to wander along his beautiful features, you notice his hair is getting a little bit longer and the curls are developing a lazy pattern. You start to fantasize about how it would feel to run your fingers through them and pull on his locks to make him look at you while he kisses you.
His lips are the next thing your eyes travel to, and you wonder how they would feel on your body. Starting from your tits, all the way to your pussy, the thought makes you squirm in your chair a little. You’re hoping you can play it off, that you’re just got a chill, but you know Joel is smarter than that. You go back to looking at his eyes, almost forgetting that he said something to you, and you see he’s already staring back. There’s a sudden shift in his eyes as you say, “I might just take you up on it then.”
The next thing you feel is his warm hands on your cheeks and his soft warm lips on yours. You instantly start to kiss back with desire and affection, instantly melting into his touch, but as soon as you bring your hands to his, he stops.
“Darlin’, I’m- oh, shit,” he mumbles, starting to back away from you, feeling like he has overstepped, but before he’s completely out of your grasp, you pull him back in by the collar of his denim jacket and kiss him again. This time, he doesn’t back away from you. Instead, he stands up from his chair and picks you up from yours, latching your legs around his waist as he brings you inside. As he opens the slider door to go in, you open your eyes and the flames from the fire catch your eye.
“Joel!” You exclaim, and he stops walking, looking at you with a confused look on his face,“The fire.” You try your hardest not to laugh and he turns his head to see the flames are still pretty big. He sighs as he shakes his head, “Another perfect example on how you ruin the moment darlin’.” You slap his chest playfully and you both start to laugh. He kisses you as he taps your thigh, signaling for you to hop down.
“Sorry for not wanting your place to burn down,” you scoff, putting your hands up in surrender.
“Yeah, yeah, pretty girl. Go upstairs and wait for me, I’ll be right there,” he winks at you, slapping your ass as you turn on your heels, and you yelp as you run towards his stairs.
Your mind is racing as you reach his bedroom door. You slowly turn the knob and walk into his light gray colored walls, instantly feeling safe. You’ve been here countless times, under different circumstances, yet you don’t feel out of place - You feel like you’re supposed to be here. Like everything that you’ve been through has led to this moment.
As you move across the carpet, you stand in front of his dresser and you see two framed pictures of you and him - first one being a selfie in front of his house the night he bought it, the second one being an off guard photo of you and Joel talking the night of your party for your job. You never noticed that he had these framed, and as you bring your hand to it, a smile creeps on your face as you slightly shake your head in disbelief.
All of a sudden, you feel a pair of big soft arms hug across your waist, and his chin resting in the crook of your neck. “My favorite pictures of us…especially you. Your smile was the biggest I’d seen it in a long time in both of these,” Joel says, starting to kiss your neck softly in between his words. You fold into his touch instantly and you moan as he starts to suck a soft spot on your neck. His hands start to travel down to unbutton your jeans.
“I was so proud of you… I was so happy that you got the dream house you wanted. You deserve it,” you say between heavy breathing.
“Don’t downplay yourself, sweetheart. You worked your ass off to be where you are now and I just admire that,” You try to say something, but your mind and mouth won’t cooperate. “My dream wasn’t complete then but now that you’re here to stay. My dream is finally starting to come true,” he tells you, and you both look into his dresser mirror, making eye contact. You turn around swiftly in his grasp as you put your hands on his chest and push him towards his bed. The back of his knees hit the mattress and, as he sits down, his legs open and you stand between his thick thighs. He looks up into your eyes and smirks.
You smile back as you dip your head to slowly take your jeans off, when you bring your head back up to look at him, you grab his chin and pull him into a hot and heavy kiss - one of those kisses where yours and his tongue are exploring each other like it’s an addiction, while he grabs your ass and massages it.
That’s when he pulls you into his lap so you can straddle him. You start to rock your clothed clit back and forth on his growing hard on, while Joel’s calloused hands somehow feel soft as he grabs your ass and guides your movements. You can start to feel the wetness leak through your panties onto the bulge of his jeans, but that’s the least of your worries right now. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this pretty girl,” Joel says between kisses as one hand goes into your panties. He gathers your wetness and brings it back to your clit, rubbing circles causing you to shake.
“Me either,” is all you can say without becoming a moaning mess. You’re still rocking back and forth but with a new pace, one that Joel is setting. Initially, you wanted to be the one in control but you quickly changed your mind about that, it seems. You want Joel to be in complete control of you right now, you don’t even want to think about anything other than Joel. Always Joel. Only Joel.
Your train of thought is stopped quickly by Joel inserting two fingers into your dripping pussy. Your movements pause as you adjust to his fingers, your jaw dropping as a long moan comes out. “That’s my good girl,” Joel’s starts as he begins to pump his fingers in and out of you. You continue to grind on his fingers as he murmurs, “Gotta warm you up first, darlin’… I don’t wanna hurt you.” All you can do is nod and whine to him that you can take him, but he chuckles to himself. “Oh my pretty girl thinks she can take it, huh? Well, let’s see.”
Before he finishes his sentence, he’s pulling his fingers out of your pussy and flipping you over so you’re now on your back, with him towering over you. You giggle from how smoothly he did it, he then brings his fingers to your mouth so you can taste yourself. Without any hesitation, you open your mouth and let his fingers in as you suck on them. He moans when you make a mess with a mix of your own saliva and juices. Joel pulls his fingers away from your mouth with a pop and bends down to kiss you again, but this kiss is different. This somehow feels like a “I love you and I care for you” kind of kiss, one you reciprocate, wanting him to know you feel the same.
He slightly breaks the kiss so he can pull his jeans and boxers down, his cock springing onto his belly, dripping with precum. Your mouth drops when you notice all the veins he has, just hypnotized by the way it was throbbing for you. “You still sure you can take it baby?” Joel taunts as he sees you staring. Without even thinking, you grab his cock and start to slowly stroke him, and his head falls behind his shoulders, his body jerking as he moans.
“Yes, daddy, I can,” you taunt back with a smirk on your face. Once you say that, it’s like something primal snaps inside of Joel. He stops you from touching him, his hands rips off your panties, and throws them somewhere into the darkest corner of his room. Next thing you know, he’s lining his cock up to your throbbing, glistening pussy but he doesn’t put it in. Your arms are clawing at his back for him to make the move.
“You’re so impatient, baby. You gotta relax,” Joel drawls. Before you can come back with some smart ass remark, you feel him sliding his cock up and down your slit, creating a lewd mix of your juices and his precum. Your hips start to move with the rhythm of Joel’s, and it has the tip of his throbbing cock hitting your clit perfectly. You can already feel that tightening in your belly starting to form, turning you into a moaning mess.
His forearms are on either side of your head as he starts to suck and lick your neck again, having found the sweet spot that makes you cave for him every time. “Joel, don't stop. Fuck, baby,” you moan out, as you lift your hips just trying to get him to quit his teasing, he slowly starts to slide his cock into your needy pussy. He gets about halfway in, but has to stop, “Fuck, you’re gonna kill me baby girl,”.
“C’mon baby, move,” you whine as you claw at his back again, wrapping your legs around him and digging your heels into his hips. Your pussy is throbbing for more, so pent up that you’re getting impatient. “Fuck me, daddy,” you moan as you throw your head back into his soft pillows. Suddenly, you feel the other half of his throbbing cock split into you, and your legs let go of his hips as you yelp. He starts to pound your pussy, like you pleaded him to, the mixes of each other juices creating a loud slapping sound that echoes in the bedroom - you are losing your mind from that alone.
“This what you want needy baby? Just need daddy to give it to you rough.” Joel grunts as he grabs your right ankle and brings it to his shoulder, he holds your ankle in place with a hand as he starts to bite and kiss it while his other hand goes to your throat. You give him a smirk, telling him yes. He starts to squeeze the sides of your throat and you feel yourself start to get in a daze, before he lets go, then does it again.
You jolt a little bit when you feel his fingers from his other hand moving down to your clit. The mix of his fingers working on your clit, his cock hitting every spot you need it to, his words praising and degrading you, and him squeezing your throat has you seeing stars.
“Joel, fuck. I’m close, don’t stop, please,” is all you can say as you feel the tightness in your belly about to snap.
“Let it go sweet girl. Look at you, showing me you can take my cock and all,” he coos, and that’s all that it takes to send you over the edge.Your back arches as you moan Joel’s name over and over like a mantra, not ever wanting to forget him. Your body goes limp and your head is dizzy, when you feel him pull out and you both moan at the loss of each other's warmth, before he cums on your belly - moaning your name over and over like you did his.
Fucked out of your minds, Joel rolls off of you and both of you lay on your backs next to each other, just listening to one another’s breathing. You feel him get up from the bed as he walks to his bathroom, coming right back with a warm hand towel to clean you up. He gently rubs the towel and cleans you, then he throws the hand towel in the direction you know his hamper to be.
Joel grunts as he lays back down on his side to look at you, while you mimic his movements. This is the first time you’ve seen Joel with this post-fuck face he has, looking like he went to heaven and back. You hope you get to see more of him like this, just crumbling for you - He moves a piece of your hair behind your left ear and looks into your eyes.
“How’s that for ruining the moment?” you say without even thinking. You and Joel just start giggling again. ”Well, you’re two for zero right now..but you were right. You do make the memories better,” Joel is barely able to get out. After a little bit, a comforting hum from his rotating fan and both of your breathing, is all that can be heard as you stare at each other sincerely, you slowly move your body closer to Joel’s, wanting to feel him again. Joel wraps his arms around you like a delicate cocoon as you begin to slowly glide your fingers up and down his strong, yet gentle, arms. You slot your right leg between both his warm thighs, then you wrap your left leg around his hip.
The two of you are wrapped together like some kind of beautiful present you get on Christmas morning. As both of your breathing patterns and heart beats sync up, Joel kisses the top of your head and sleepily whispers, “I’m so glad you decided to stay, my love.”
You smile into his chest and hum, “Mhmm. Me too, Joel…me too.” You drift off into sleep feeling safe and loved while in Joel’s arms, Joel’s home, and Joel’s heart. Just you and Joel.
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theatricalnebula · 2 months
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what do you think about the incestuous relationships in revolutionary girl utena, and the root causes of the abuse? one of my favorite analyses I've read so far talked about how rape and incest aren't deviant, they are an extension of the patriarchal family unit. And do you have any thoughts/analysis about how it specifically manifests in RGU and the way the narrative communicates these themes?
It's so annoying the way some people act like the incest is just regular brother and sister complexes that's common in a lot of anime, and not an integral part of the show's themes about the Family fostering an environment ripe for abuse. The show treats these heavy themes seriously, and I wish I was smart enough to articulate my thoughts about Miki and Kozue, Anthy and Akio, etcetera. Hence, this ask.
Jsjsksks I know I sent an ask just yesterday about Revolutionary Girl Utena, but your analysis is so cohesive, and I really appreciate you bringing family/marriage abolition and amato-normativity into your analysis posts. It's very affirming to me as an aromantic asexual.
thank you so much! i will admit i also have a hard time putting my thoughts about these themes into words, because they are . a lot, so forgive me if this is a little rambl-y. but they are a huge and very important part of the show, so they're important to talk about.
i think i know the analysis you're talking about, and it's spot on. every kind of abuse we see in the show is a product of The System (patriarchy, the school system, the nuclear family, etc.) that's not to say that the abuse isn't purposeful, or that it doesn't often come from people choosing to do harm, but their ability to cause that harm is facilitated by these systems. for example, the system is not forcing akio to do what he does (although it is the reason he knows it will get him what he wants) it is just giving him the tools to do it effectively. abuse does come from people, but the systems are what makes the abuse so effective, and that's why we need to dismantle them.
this is something i've mentioned before, but a big part of why anthy was so trapped in her situation until the end, is because of the expectation to value family above all else, and to always love and forgive them no matter how they hurt us. and that is the reason why incest is so inherently toxic and abusive. it's not that it's "gross and unnatural" (such rhetoric really only serves to hurt and alienate victims anyway) it's that you cannot ever have a healthy relationship in a framework that tells you that you always have to stay with someone, and forgive someone, and love someone, no matter what. it doesn't matter if there's no age gap (seen in the kaoru twins) to create other kinds of power imbalances and it doesn't matter if they're not actually related by blood (seen in nanami thinking touga isn't her "real" brother, and in touga trying to use that against her.)
i've talked about how all this affects utena as well, and how even the state of not having a family makes you vulnerable to it, here.
it's not that siblings (or other family members) are more likely to be abusive people, but when they are, it is a lot harder to escape said abuse. leaving a regular abusive relationship is already incredibly difficult, but if they're you're family, it's even easier to fall into the mindset of "oh, but they really just want the best for me." when you've been taught that family is the most important thing in the world, leaving them is a huge decision. especially if you rely on them for material needs as well, like housing and food (which also happens a lot in romantic relationships and marriages.) there's also the way that with sibling incest in particular, especially if there isn't a big age gap, the victim will often be made to feel complicit in the abuse, either by their abuser or by society at large. like it's something "weird and taboo" that two people are doing together, rather than the abuse it really is.
that last part definitely manifests in the show, with the victim-blaming anthy recieves. from nanami especially. her desire to prove that she's "not like anthy" comes from an understandable place. she's dealing with figuring out that her feelings for her brother weren't what she thought they were, but it ends up with her putting equal amounts of blame on akio and anthy for the abuse she witnessed, even though there is a clear perpetrator (not helped by nanami already disliking and distrusting anthy.) it's clearest, i think, when she refers to them as "those perverted siblings" to utena.
it's funny (it's not) that this kind of thinking even manages to happen in the fandom itself. anthy is obviously not a perfect passive victim, and it's reductive of her character to say so, but the idea that she is as much an active participant in the abuse as akio is, is a take i have seen too many times for comfort. like, congrats, you fell for the exact kind of thinking that the show was trying to critique!
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thatfuckinjester · 2 months
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Ugh give me all the phantom hurt and hurt/comfort I cannot get enough
💖💖
mountain and phantom mountain and phantom moUNTAIN AND PHANTOM MOUNTAIN AND PHANTOM- anyways.
mountain who didn't want to hurt phantom, he wanted to stay natural in this whole situation but just couldn't, tried not to be straight out mean like he was after dew's element change. but he now knows that no matter how much he tries, he'll never be able to actually learn from his own mistakes.
he doesn't like change, some things aren't supposed to be changed, but it's not like he can control everything.
aether was supposed to stay with them, forever. if there was someone he could always count on it was aether, but aether was sent to help somewhere else and now everything is wrong.
so when he and dew heard a sibling in sin say that phantom was there just temporary, just until aether will come back, that he'll be sent back the moment aether's back, mountain has felt relief, phantom is just a replacement, and you can't use a replacement forever.
it might have been cruel of him, but he remembers when he and phantom have shared a room on a hotel night. he remembers how he told him that they're going to send him back, how he explained that it'll hurt so much more than being pulled out of the pit.
after all, when you're pulled out you still need to claw your way up, but to be sent back.. he remembers telling him how it'll feel like being buried, being left for the dead. mountain remembers clearly how he told him that he don't know (or care. and fuck, he does care, he cares so much it hurt.) if phantom will even survive it.
he remembers how phantom looked up at him before, how he still had some kind of brightness in his eyes, how he always made sure to smile at him. and he saw that brightness turning off slowly, how phantom stopped smiling at him.
he remembers trying to snap phantom out of it that morning, trying to get him to look at him, even standing right in front of him, right where he looked.
mountain remembers gasping when he saw the brightness back in phantom's eyes, but with something more, something that hurt him like being stabbed.
and every day since then, he would walk past phantom's room while going to the greenhouse, he stopped before his door the first day, seeing how phantom's name on the door was just in a plastic card, easy to replace. and something in his heart broke.
he would go to the greenhouse and come back, walking past phantom's room and taking a deep breath as he thought of craving phantom's name on the door, just like his own is craved on his door.
he never does.
...
tagging all you lovely people <3 @0-miles-away @justrandomghoul @lukewarm0223 @astro-ghoul99 @rue-ryuu-zaki
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jerefishvr · 1 year
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neteyam secretly being obsessed with his brothers best friend, enemies to lovers type beat with LOTSSS of sexual tension.. and him taming the brat in her when she gets too mouthy with him 😩😩
🦇 ˖ ࣪⊹ —— PROTECT ME
ᥫ᭡ content warnings : aged up!neteyam x reader smut , mean!dom Neteyam , enemies to lovers , dirty talk , grammar mistakes probs
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being Lo'ak Sully's best friend came with its ups and with its downs. well mostly ups.
you knew you had your person, someone you could fully trust even with your deepest darkest secret and someone who you could do the dumbest things with without getting fearing of getting judged. even if he was lowkey stupid ( highkey tbh... ) he would always find a way to comfort you. Plus his parents and siblings loved you. except from his brother, Neteyam.
and here comes the downs. You'd always get in trouble with Lo'ak and have Neteyam scold you. He despised you and you despised him too. but oh, did he make you have unholy thoughts.
how many nights you've spend with your fingers buried in your cunt while thinking of him, but what you didn't know was that Neteyam also craved you.
you didn't notice the longing glances he gave you whenever you walked past him to find Lo'ak or how your loincloth would hike up your thighs slightly when you were laughing.
Today was another day of you and Neteyam fighting. You went to the forest to hunt but instead found Neteyam and the minute he saw you he knew he had to annoy you.
And now there you were, getting pounded by your enemy against a tree into the forest just cause you told him that he acts like such a bitch because his skills aren't as good as yours, so he showed you his other skills to prove to you that he's good enough.
gasping and moaning his name as he gave you a smirk while looking at you holding on his broad shoulders to steady yourself.
sure, your back felt like it was on fire by being pressed against a tree but it didn't matter in this moment. His mouth leaving wet kisses all over your neck making sure to make you as he fucked you so hard you swore you saw Eywa.
"Gonna cum for me huh?gonna let the whole clan know how much of a whore you are for me?" Neteyam said while rubbing circles on your clit and rutting his hips on yours. You could only scream and tighten around him, warm tears running down your face from the overstimulation.
"Gonna fill you up with my babies, be a good girl and take it for me" he moaned out as he delivered his last thrusts before spilling his seeds inside you bringing you to your orgasm too.
your legs trembling as Neteyam carefully placed you down on the mushy grass,kissing your head and praising you for taking him so well.
"you did so good pretty, so good" he rubbed your back to soothe out the pain and to comfort you.
maybe he wasn't that bad after all?
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