#and simultaneously dysfunctional. when you know a last kiss will be the last kiss it will also be one of the best kisses .

[chrollohearttags]

i feel like musician!eren would lose his mind if he found out his bestie thought cumming from head was a myth and show her what a REAL munch man is 🫣

no because can we talk about it? Sis would think he’s lying like always but we know his cocky ass would take pleasure in proving her wrong! 😭

“Eren, you fucking lying. That does not happen!”

“The hell I got to lie for, (y/n)? Just because you’ve never experienced the joys of it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.”

another day and argument ensuing between you and your homeboy, EJ. The two of you had been friends for some time now and it wasn’t rare for you to be spotted in the public eye but The rapper was currently seated behind the desk of his home studio as you sat in the chair next to him, attempting to convince you of something you just refused to buy into..your relationship was dysfunctional to say the least! Not so much in the sense of toxicity but you guys stayed making fun of each other for one reason or another or doing dumb shit. Today was a combination of the two and anyone from the outside looking in would never believe what you were at odds about.

“So you’re telling me that y’all can actually make girls come from head? Ain’t no way. I’ve never had a nigga make me do it.”

but as per usual, he wasn’t much for talking. He was the type to show you what he meant. Finally clicking off of the instrumental he was working on, he’d turn his chair towards you and fold his hands with a grin on his face. “That’s because you stay fucking these lames, mama. When’s the last time you even had a good nut? Where you weren’t faking it to not hurt dude’s feelings?” Poking his tongue into the corner of his cheek as he eyed you up and down, licking over his lips. He already knew the answer but he just loved the sight of seeing you squirm and try to justify it. But he couldn’t stand the thought of his beautiful bestie struggling sexually. So as the kind soul he was, he volunteered to help out. “Like I thought.” Declaring as he stood grasped the arm of your seat and pulled you closer, setting your legs on his lap, before rubbing them gently. Now it wasn’t the first time that you two had gotten physical but there wasn’t a reason you didn’t make a habit of it and that was because he was dangerous! There was no way you could fuck this man on the regular and not become attached or obsessed. So for your sanity, you kept your relationship as platonic as possible. However, he was in the mood to make you eat your words!..

“If you just wanted to know what it feels like, all you had to do was ask..” muttering as he sank to his knees and propped your calves onto his shoulders. “Open your legs, baby. I’ll give you what you’re looking for.” Reassuring you as he took his thumbs between the thin lining of your thong and tugged it aside. As he expected, you were leaking like a faucet at the thought of being licked and sucked to an orgasm. You had no idea what was in store but he wouldn’t leave your mind to wander too long..as he had already began to feel you up..placing gentle kisses on your thighs as he cradled your hips. You could feel the cool metal of his chain grazing your skin and his lips making contact with your wet little mound. The faint mumbles and breaths a clear indicator that he was going to enjoy this. Even so, he was going to have to make you a believer..

“EJ..are you sure about this? I mean, I think you just tryna to—ahh shit!”

“Yeah..what was that? Just lay back and be quiet. I promise when I’m done, imma have you leaking all over this floor.”

that same smug look on his face as he began to suckle and slurp on your clit; gently tugging at your pretty little plump pussy lips as he sank his face deeper. Engulfing his entire mouth around your dripping sex. Making certain that he was hitting all of your spots; spitting between those folds and fingering you simultaneously. Your clit was his first point of attack..focusing and honing in on stimulating it because any man with sense knew that’s where it all started. If he truly wanted to bring you to your peak, his pleasure would begin there. Gradually, he’d begin to pump those thick digits in and out whilst still suckling on your little bud. You hadn’t seen or heard him for a good solid three minutes with the exception of the top of his head and his faint grunts. Enjoying every drop your sweet essence on the tip of his tongue. He couldn’t believe that no man had ever made you come from eating you out, especially when this juicy pussy tasted so sweet. Personally, he could stay lost between your thighs forever and never grow tired. Suddenly, he’d feel the grasp you had on his hair tighten and knew that you were beginning to feel it. Also from the way you clenched around his knuckles..

“You’re close, aren’t you?” Finally lifting his head to reveal his jade hues eyes illuminated with excitement and the corners of his mouth stained with your delicious nectar. You couldn’t exactly respond, as you were too busy clutching the sides of the chair and shaking vehemently. Not only that, you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he was right. However, the proof couldn’t be negated and he had almost succeeded in winning this debacle. But as always, he had to go the extra mile to be correct. Instead, he’d place his opposite palm into the center of your tummy and begin rapidly massaging those insides with his fingertips. “It’s okay, I got my answer, baby. Righttt—“ and before you had the chance to respond, you’d find yourself reaching the ultimate high. “Here.” Ascending into bliss as he brought you to ecstasy and tears. The evidence all over his chair, floor and face as promised. You had squirted everywhere and that was an understatement. Tossing a hand over your mouth, gasping to regain your breath. But Eren was quick to console you with a few kisses and and a brush to the side of your face.

“It’s okay. Felt good, didn’t it, baby?”

“Y-yeah!”

needless to say, you wouldn’t doubt him after that and if there was ever a time you found yourself questioning, he’d be more than happy to change your mind!

#cherry’s asks 🍒 #aot x black reader #black fem reader #black reader #musician x influencer au #black fanfiction #eren x black fem!reader #black reader smut #musician eren #my fav munch #eren x black reader #eren hcs #eren imagines #shingeki no kyoujin eren #eren yeager #eren smut #eren jaeger #eren jaeger fic #aot au #aot imagines #aot #aot headcanons #he’s so sexy wtf #aot drabbles #eren drabble #thank you for this nonnie!! #god I’ll be thinking about him all night #cw smut #cw sex mention

[babygirlispunk]

Summer Fling - PART FOUR

Pedro Pascal x f!reader

Summary: fun in the sun gets interrupted but Pedro has something new planned for you...

Warning: 18+ MDNI, drug use, oral (f receiving), fingering.

Word count: 5.6k oops

A/N: as always ily a milly to everyone sharing and liking the story, I look forward to writing this and posting for yall so enjoy 🧡

PREV - MASTERLIST - NEXT

"Why are you dressed like Adam Sandler?"

Standing at the doorway Syria eyes you up and down, looking at your borrowed outfit and last nights hanging over your arm, boots in hand. Pedro let you borrow a pair of his shorts and tee along with a pair of slippers provided by his hotel. You insisted on wearing your own clothes but he felt bad about you going commando in a dress when your underwear somehow slipped underneath the egregiously heavy and low couch.

"Jesus, is this couch made of cement?" you strain as you try to lift it up. "I'm starting to think you kicked them under there on purpose."

Pedro, already having given up with the couch, is rummaging through his luggage. He pulls out a pair of briefs and waves them your way. "Would you like purple or red?"

Rolling your eyes and also giving up on the couch, you slump down staring at the sunny city. Listening to him shuffle around behind, you look out the window seeing other people in the buildings across and wonder if you should be sitting naked in front of a large window.

"I'll just wear my dress, as long as I stay up straight, no one will see anything."

You rest your head back and look up to see Pedro looking down at you through his glasses with a goofy smile before your view is muffled when he drops some clothes on your head.

"I haven't had much trouble here with paps, but just to be safe. I'm sure you'd rather be snapped looking like a little boy than flash the world." The clothes slide down your face, allowing him to give you a smooch. "As pretty as it is."

You scrunch your face at Syria mockingly. "You know why."

Entering your shared apartment you bee line for the bathroom, Syria hot on your heels.

"The sex must have been life changing."You look great for someone who was munted last night."

You stop in your tracks to face her. "Trust me, my head is pounding."

"So was this a 'hit it and quit it' sitch? The way you were dancing together, I wasn't expecting you back for a few days."

"Me too." you say apprehensively.

"Did you have to sign an NDA?"

"No. I'm gonna shower now."

You try to make your way to the bathroom but Syria is eager to get answers out of you and is blocking your way.

"Erectile dysfunction?"

Your jaw drops in disbelief. "What!?"

"He is older... it's possible..."

"SYRIA! He didn't fuck me!" you say aloud, frustrated.

Before you can further explain yourself, there is a knock at the front door. Simultaneously turning your heads, you look at the door wondering who your uninvited guest is.

"I'll explain everything later okay? I have to shower and get ready."

You rush to the bathroom, letting Syria answer the door. You hear muffled conversation over the running water. It must be the postie with another one of Syria's thousands of online orders.

Wrapped in your towel, you leave the bathroom to your bedroom only to see a curly headed guest on your couch conversing with your room mate.

"I can't believe you left him out there to boil in the car, it's already 30 degrees out there!" she fakes being concerned, a very obvious snicker on her face.

"It's okay, I had air con. I just needed to use the bathroom."

While Pedro is looking your way, eyebrows raised by your lack of clothes and wet hair as if he hasn't seen you naked already, Syria is bouncing excitedly in her seat and you can only glare at her like a mother silently telling her child off.

"Well it's free now. I'll be ready soon." you awkwardly point to the steaming bathroom.

Levering himself off your couch, he makes his way to the bathroom, not before pulling your chin with his finger and kissing you. Once the door is shut, Syria is of course ogling you.

"A lot to unpack there." she says smugly.

"I'll pack your shit up and throw it out the window if you don't kick back." you whisper so Pedro can't hear you.

She throws her hands up in surrender, giggling maniacally.

Once you've changed into something beach appropriate, shorts and a top, you say your goodbyes to Syria and head back to Pedro's rental car. As you're placing your beach bag in the back seat you hear a rapid clicking sound in the distance. Your head whips around looking for the source but all you see are everyday people making their way.

"Maybe you should drive?"

"Huh?" Your attention is pivots back to Pedro.

"Not used to driving on the left side and you know the city better than me."

"It's weird how you drive on the right but it's wrong."

He sucks air through his teeth, holding back a smile. "I'm not even going to give you the satisfaction of a laugh. That was a horrible joke."

"Come on, you know it was funny."

He shakes his head, still holding in his laugh, gesturing you to take the driver seat. You do so not without him stealing another kiss from you, hand holding tight on your hip and the other cradling your face.

Slow, intimate... longing...

(For the vibe: Porcelain, Natural Blues and/or Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad? by Moby)

Windows down, warm breeze whipping through your hair and Pedro's ruffled curls, getting closer to the ocean and the smell of sea salt wafts into the car, the sun kissing your skin playfully, you are engulfed in a sense of freedom that only summer can summon.

You both bop along to music he has playing from his own playlist. Some Fleetwood Mac, Madonna, Pretenders, Moby and others. Driving along the esplanade, music pumping, the blue of the sky and the sparkle of the ocean connect on the horizon to your right and you peak Pedro admiring the view from your left peripheral.

When you arrive Pedro starts taking pictures of the view, even brining you in for a selfie together. Some goofy, some cute, you're glad he wants to memorialize your time together. You follow the path down the cliffs to the beach, passing a sign that catches Pedro's eye. You join him to see the hazard signs, wildlife info, beach history and acknowledgements.

"You are on Bunurong Country. Wominjeka. (Welcome)" He reads out. "What this?"

"It's an acknowledgement to Australia's Aboriginal People. The original custodians of the land along with the Torres Strait Islanders before it was... colonised."

"Oh that's cool that they do that."

"Its the bare minimum after what they've been put through..."

"Fuck the colonisers."

"Yeah, fuck them." You feel relieved that he understood your sentiments.

You tip toe your way through the scorching sand to find a spot near the water. Even though it was mostly families from the area that frequent this beach, Pedro suggested you two set your stuff somewhere more quiet. So you settled for a spot closer to the cliffs that close in onto the water.

Eagerly, wanting to be free from the confines of your clothes because it is quite frankly, boiling hot, you undress your self down to your bikini. Welcomed by the harsh rays of the sun, you reach into your bag for the sun screen and wasting no time to lather it on yourself. Looking over to Pedro, he has set his towel down and you feel yourself shy away as he watches you through his sunnies.

"Make sure you slip slop slap. The sun is pretty rough down here."

"Make sure I do what now?" he raises his brows high enough over his sunnies in confusion.

"Put sunscreen on?"

"So many weird words and sayings you have here."

You blow raspberries at him and continue lathering yourself down, squirting some into your hand and applying it to your chest making sure to be extra slow and meticulous reaching into the cups of your bikini. You hear him groan out a 'mierda' under his breath, leaning over and grabbing the bottle.

"Turn around, I'll do your back for you."

Seated on your knees, you face your back to him, so he can rub the sunscreen onto your back. His hands glide over with a nice level of pressure that feels like a massage making you purr with enjoyment. The pressure deepens as his thumbs press harder into your skin, closing your eyes and slouching your head down. His other hand lifting at your strap, you follow the feeling of his hand only for him to let go of it and snapping your skin giving you a sudden jolt, getting a titter out of you.

Hands move to your lower back, again, applying that nice pressure. His fingers skim at the hem of your bottoms almost tickling you, then grabs handfuls of you ass, diligently making sure to cover every part of them.

Once he's sure he is done, he moves in closer and hugs you from behind, pressing his hard on against your lower back. Lips next to your ears he whispers. "It's actually no fair how much you turn me on just from your existence."

"I'd be more than happy to help with that." you murmur back.

"Soon. But for now I need you to do my back too."

You swap positions and admire how lean and broad his back is, impressed with how well his taken care of his body over the years. Hands spreading across, you lather his back and make your way down. Sliding your fingers slightly under the hem of his shorts, you follow it around to the front, brushing the soft snail trail and just teasing to go lower before his hands move them away.

He was adamant on not letting you touch him. You start to feel like you might be coming on to him too strong and pushing his boundaries like a creep.

"What's wrong?" he asks when he notice your visible discomfort.

"Am I being too much? If me touching down there is uncomfortable for you, just tell me now and I'll stop. Just hard to tell when we keep feeling each other up." you feel slightly embarrassed.

He gives a soft laugh and kisses your forehead. "I like it, don't worry. Just keep it above clothes for now, okay?"

"Okay." you smile and nod back, now understanding where he stands but still unclear about his reasoning.

Not dwelling on the conversation, Pedro jumps to his feet and scoops you up in his arms, bridal style with a smile from ear to ear. Taking you by surprise, you squeal as he runs to the water. Hooking your arms around his neck not wanting him to drop you but you're soon startled by the cold as he plunges you both underwater.

Resurfacing, you gasp for air and rubbing hair and water away from your face, eyes slightly stinging. Pedro has his face half submerged in the water staring at you cheekily as bubbles pop around his face, giving off a boyish charm that keeps him looking younger than he is.

"The waters a bit fuckin' fresca." you say, splashing water at him that he chuckles away from.

Whipping his wet hair from his face, spraying you a little, he closes in to you for a hug. You're surprised by the warmth from his body, getting in closer, revelling in the friction as your goose bumped skin presses against each other. Wet and salty kisses are exchanged as water slaps around your enclosed bodies, sharing small moans into one another. You don't think you could ever get sick of kissing him.

"So tell me about yourself Soleada." he asks while grabbing your legs and wrapping them around his waist for better balance.

You had noticed every other time he had used that word for you. You just weren't sure what it meant and a bit shy to ask. He definitely knew your name, so he wasn't calling you someone else so you were curious why he kept calling you that.

"Sol... means sun... so-"

"Sunny or like sunshine." he intervenes your thought process.

"Why do you call me that?"

"Just have sunny disposition to you."

You blush from his compliment and look at him curiously, brushing the hair sticking to his forehead aside, wanting him to elaborate.

"You just seem like-like the type to really brighten up a room, like your presence c-could cheer anyone up and have that 'half glass full' type attitude. Yeah... like people would go to you, trust you. You have that type of vibe and would just have a natural attraction that people lo- gravitate towards."

"That... that's actually really sweet. Like such a meaningful compliment..." Feeling a warm and fuzzy feeling in your chest despite the cold waves slapping against your body, it's almost overwhelming how sentimental he is. "Thank you."

As the sun beats down and your body acclimates to the cold water, or just gone numb, you and Pedro never let go of your embrace as he listens to you talk about yourself while the waves pushed and pulled your bodies. You spoke of your career that you studied hard for and love to do despite the down days, you spoke of your family and your relationship with them, your friends and how you and Syria became besties in Uni despite your polar opposite personalities. He listened intently and asked questions, never turning the conversation onto himself, even keen to listen to mundane things like your favourite music and artists, movies, shows and what food you liked.

"-and I just really love the beach, you know? Growing up, I always had an affinity for the ocean. My family would call me a dolphin because I took every opportunity I could take to be in water. Even in the dead of winter I convinced my parents to let me swim in this outdoor pool." Pedro's lip quirks up, amused. "Regretted it of course, but you get the gist. Just felt like all my problems are gone when I'm in here. If I'm ever rich enough, I'd buy a nice boat and sail in some tropical archipelago country. Living off of the local islands and the sea."

"That would sound like a nice way of living."

"One can dream..."

After talking some more, you two finally decide to swim back to land and dry off. Walking towards your towels you notice some people, mainly girls and women looking your way. More so Pedro's way. You look at Pedro seeing if he's noticed but he's already getting himself comfortable on his towel, patting on yours to lay down with him.

Before you can say anything- "I noticed them. If they want to say hi, they will come. Otherwise I just go about my day."

Frowning at the thought of being a walking exhibit for the public, you think about when you kept gawking at him the first time.

You follow his lead and lay down on your stomach, ignoring the onlookers, pulling out a book to read while you soak some sun. Concentrating on the words on the pages, you're comforted by a hand placed on one of your ass cheeks. He just rests it there and you look at him, eyes closed and blinded by the sun with a lopsided grin, topped with wet curls frizzled on his head. You snort out a laugh and go back to reading your book.

If the waves and cawing seagulls weren't loud enough, you would've missed that clicking sound you heard before. It was faint but you could just make it out. Looking around through squinted eyes, trying to see where it is coming from you're distracted by a small group of girls making their way in your direction. You hope they are just heading for the cliffs to climb them. However, the hand resting on your ass slips away indicating he knows they're on their way.

"Hiiiiiiii. Sorry to bother you but can we get a picture with you? We're big fans!" A high pitched voice asks nervously.

"Of course." Pedro chimes.

The girls all huddle around him, each taking selfies with him. You admire him while he does his thing, impressed by how unbothered he seems by it. Guess he really does appreciate his fans. Though he does keeps his distance, holding his hands behind his back while posing. A few of the girls look your way and you just smile back not wanting to come off as hostile.

"Do you mind taking a group photo of us?" A blondie asks, slightly standoffish.

You nod your head and smile. Getting up, a phone is passed to you and watch as they crowd around him while Pedro stands in the middle of them. You press the button multiple times to make sure they have few to choose from knowing that one photo is never enough.

Once you're done, you hand the phone back to the girl and they finish off their praises and compliments to Pedro as he tries to humbly deflect them and thank them. Then they walk off, giggling amongst themselves.

"Hope you don't mind." he wraps his arms around your shoulders, pulling you into his freckled chest.

"Nah, its cute seeing them get all excited to see you. And you're real sweet and attentive to them. All of them actually. Like that loser last night."

"Don't worry, I won't let them take all my attention away from you." his voice lowers and closes in to your face.

"It's all good, as long as you make it up to me." you flirt back, pouting your lips to invite him in.

He sees his invitation and accepts it, kissing you gently and you wrap your hands around his waist to feel his warm skin against your own.

Between pecks you ask, "Wanna check out the cliffs and rock pools? There's even a rocky pier we can climb to."

But again you here that sound that is so jarring against the sounds of nature and you notice the smile on Pedro face drop as well, jaw tightening and eyes stern. Looking over your shoulder, you see the source of the sound.

A guy holding a large camera and looking through the view finder was taking photos of Pedro. And you. Did this guy follow you all the way from your apartment? Fuck. You snap your head back to face away so the guy doesn't get a shot of your face. Having your face and identity plastered all over the internet was the last thing you wanted.

"Fuck me dead." You groan into Pedro's chest, knowing your time at the beach is now interrupted and invaded.

Pedro plants a kiss on your forehead for reassurance and starts packing up his stuff from the sand. "Time to go."

You stand there, annoyed, watching him pick up his stuff.

"We're just gonna let him ruin our day?" you pout.

"Trust me, he'll hover around and it won't be fun for either of us. I'm hungry anyways."

You reluctantly agree and pack up your belongings as well, placing your towel over your head to cover your face. You head back to the car, your hand in Pedro's as he lead the way and walking past the pap, who continues to snap away like you're some zoo exhibit.

When you pull up back to your place, you let out a big sigh, releasing the tension that had built up while you were driving and grovelling over the pap who cut your beach day short.

"So..." Pedro begins rummaging through his bag looking for something. "I was saving this for the beach but I guess having this now wouldn't be so bad."

He pulls out what you assumed was a rollie at first, only to realise it was bigger and more coned shaped. Your face drops and eyes widen when you realise.

"Is that bud?"

"Bud?" He quizzes back, again imitating your accent.

"Marijuana."

He nods seemingly proud of himself.

"You know that's illegal here right?" you utter in disbelief, glancing around the street to make sure no one is around. "Where did you even find that?"

"Some guy sold it to Nico that he met at a bar."

"Christ on a bike Pedro." you say it flat and he just shrugs a 'what'. "If its illegal here, that also means it's not regulated either! That shit could be laced!"

You have your fingers squeezing the bridge of your nose at the absurdity that he'd just buy some bud from a random. A random that could have also been an undercover jack.

"Oh it's safe. I already had some the other day."

All you can do is stare at him, deadpan, blinking rapidly in shock.

"I'm guessing you haven't tried it before. If you don't feel like it, I get it."

Eye flicking between the joint and Pedro's face, you think about it. There had been times you wanted to try it but never felt quite comfortable to do so. Especially knowing how messed up drugs can be, being unregulated here. But Pedro said it was fine, and he was experienced with it so there wasn't really anyone else you could trust more.

"Fuck it." You huff, rolling down the windows so you don't hotbox yourselves.

He lights it up, taking in a few puffs so it stays lit. The smell is strong and you start to get nervous, looking around to see if anyone is near or walking past. Especially keeping an eye out for that pap.

Pedro passes the joint to you but pauses. "Are you sure?"

Before you can chicken out, you grab it from him and place it between your lips. Inhaling it like you would a cigarette, you are taken aback by how rough it felt in your throat causing you to choke and cough aggressively. You shove it back to Pedro so you don't accidently drop it during your coughing fit.

He laughs playfully as you struggle, while patting you on the back sympathetically. Looking at him through teary eyes, his face is framed by a haze filling the car. You try to come off as intimidating for laughing at you, squinting your eyes at him but as he nods his upside down smile and raised eyebrows indicate you might already look high.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine." you lie, head already spinning. Taking the joint back to take a another puff, more slowly this time as to not cough your guts out.

Eventually you get used to smoking the joint but Pedro makes sure to have the majority of it so you don't have too much on your first go. You feel as stiff as a rock, sinking into your chair while simultaneously feeling airy and like you could float out the car. You're becoming more aware of your surroundings, eyes darting around scoping the area and can feel every fibre of your clothes against your skin, you're even a little nauseous. When did it get so bright and loud around here? You don't even notice Pedro getting out of the car till he opens your door, putting the window back up and placing his hand in front of you to take.

"Let's get something to eat." his voice is low and scratchy from the smoke, bringing a giggle out of you because you find it hot.

You're not sure how you look to the public, but you're sure it's silly because you can't seem to the get rid of the smile spread across your face. Your cheeks hurt from laughing at nothing and everything as you two walk down the street to a local burger shop. Your mind is elsewhere and you can't even comprehend most of what Pedro is trying to say to you and you just giggle and nod in response repeatedly.

"You're being real cute right now you know." he whispers to you. His words are soothing and you nuzzle into his shoulder, taking in a deep inhale of his scent. That sweet musky scent that smells extra enticing right now.

Feeling his body come to a halt, you look around realising you had reached the end of the street in front of the burger shop. You scramble through your brain trying to remember how you got here so fast. You were just at the start of the street a second ago? Right?

Pedro speaks to the cashier and places his order.

"I swear we were still at the start of the street." you mumble.

Pedro chuckles, motioning you to the cashier. "Order what you want."

After squinting at the menu for some time, you tell the cashier what you want and he tallies up the price. "That'll be twenty-six forty, thank you."

You look over to Pedro to make sure he doesn't pay and thankfully he is distracted by a fan behind you in line. You peep into your purse and pull out 2 tens and hand it to the cashier before looking through your purse again to find the other ten note you swear you had.

"Here's your change, your order will be ready soon."

You look at the change in his hands disoriented and confused. "No no, I was suppose to give you another tenner."

"You gave me thirty dollars Miss." the cashier insists.

"No I only gave you twenty, just let me find the other-" you don't know why but you feel slightly panicked.

A pair of hands grab your shoulders. You hear Pedros voice thank the cashier who is smiling awkwardly back at you, grabbing the change and moves you to the side so the next person can order.

"I swear to God I only gave him twenty and I swear I had three tens in here." you ramble on as Pedro places the change into your purse.

He cups your face and lifts it up to look at him, immediately entranced by his deep brown eyes, that cheek aching smile forming back on your face.

"You're just really high right now Soleada." You shake your head aggressively not believing him. "Thank you for paying, but next time I'm paying okay?"

"How un-feminist of you." You joke.

He fakes laughs and rolls his eyes, squeezing your shoulder playfully and holds onto your swaying body while you wait for your order.

After comically scoffing down your burger, munchies coming in full charge, you walk back (more so Pedro is leading you back by hand like you're a lost child with your scattered brain) to your apartment needing to rest as the weed starts to really set in heavy.

"Syria?" You call out as you open the door. The room is quiet and there's no response. She must be out. Letting Pedro in, you lock the door behind you. "Looks like we have the pl-"

Back pressed hard against the door, you're almost winded by the sudden movement as Pedro leans his body into yours, hungrily kissing you. Your heart skips a beat, mind and body catching up with the moment and returning the feeling, kissing him back as deep as you can, desire immediately pooling your underwear.

The door shakes from the weight of your bodies desperately pressing into each other, your core yearning for the feeling of his hardening cock rubbing up against you.

Still high, the feeling of his hands grazing up and down your skin blazes with intensity you haven't felt before. You follow the fire trail down to the hem of your shorts, fingers roughly pulling them down along with your bikini bottoms.

He doesn't waste a second to slide his fingers through your folds, wetting them with your slick. Your breathe hitches when his finger tips find themselves on your clit, applying a soft pressure while circling slowly. You buck your hips forward to pressed harder against his fingers.

"Need. You. Now." he growls between hasty kisses.

You mewl in agreement, relishing in the most simple action; feeling tens times more pleasurable then if you were sober. He sweeps you off the floor, hooking his hands underneath your thighs and you wrap your legs and arms around him.

Sounds of furniture getting knocked and giggles echo in your empty apartment while he walks blindly to your room never letting go of the kiss. Stopping at the end of your bed, Pedro gently lowers you down.

Slivers of the sun shine on your body through the slatted shades on your window and he gazes down on your body, watching you slip your top off and undoing your bikini strings, eyes heavy with lust, licking his lips, breaths shallow.

Your heart rate accelerates when he lowers on top of you, one hand placed firmly beside you and the other tightly griping your hip, his thumb applying pressure into your pelvis. Haphazardly kissing up your neck, you wrap your legs back around to bring him closer and he grinds into you.

"So needy Soleada." he whispers into your ear, each roll of his hips into you building the tension.

Realising he is still at the end of the bed, you try to squirm up to make space for him to get on, anticipating what is to come but his grip on your hip holds you in place. You keep trying to wriggle underneath him so he'd get the hint but instead it just create more friction against your clit as he grinds on you, small whimpers slipping out of you.

He starts sliding down you, leaving a line of kisses down your chest. Watching him slowly leave wet spots along your torso, he gets on his knees. You hold yourself up onto your elbows to watch him continue to kiss around your mound, getting softer the closer he gets.

"Fucking tease." you say, sounding more like a beg than in annoyance of how he keeps edging you.

He reaches one hand for your nipple, rolling it between his fingers and nibbles at your thigh in response and your lips press together hard in a moan.

Lifting both your legs over his shoulders, he brushes his lips down your thigh and finally reaches onto your clit, throbbing and waiting for him. Expecting him to tease you further, you whine when his mouth takes you whole and his tongue swirls around your clit. Your head falls back at the welcome surprise.

Even with how gentle he is being, the sensation is already buzzing through your body from the added high off weed. Light headedness building as he laps his tongue around, down to your entrance tongue fucking you and up again, moaning into the extra sensitive bundle of nerves.

"Never... felt... like this... before." you struggle to speak while breathless.

Your moans deepen as you lift your head back up to look at him to see that he is already looking up at you while his mouth his planted firmly devouring every bit of you. You feel your pussy pulse from the intense but soft look, his signature puppy eyes putting you in a hazy trance.

As he continues to suck, lick and kiss you, it becomes a warm comfort making you languid. Lulling you and your body relaxing, you lay back down with your hand reaching to play with his hair with your eyes closed and whispering sweet praises to Pedro.

It just felt so perfect, you could lie there with his head deep between your thighs and eating you out for hours. Your body starts to sink into the bed, getting dozy.

"No falling asleep just yet beautiful."

His hot breath tickles against your exposed skin, you hum in delight only for you to gasp a moan when you feel fingers firmly pushed inside of you. Applying more pressure and speed with the point of his tongue now, you hold tight on his hair as he fingers you rhythmically.

He keeps the pace going as your legs begin to shake from the growing pleasure bubbling up inside you, moans and whimpers getting louder and more frequent. Both of your hands gripping onto his locks and your legs using his back as leverage, you pull him in closer while bucking your hips up so you can ride his face, getting closer to that high.

Pedro pumps faster inside you, curling his fingers and hitting in just the right spot, your lungs are burning for oxygen as you continue to moan, borderline sob at the unbearable pleasure that is begging to be released as you pelvis grinds harder into his mouth and your stomach goes taut.

"Soleada. Come for me."

On command, you let go of all the built up arousal inside you, moaning his name out loud. Your body slackens and simultaneously shudders from bliss, eyes shut tight, stars flashing. Pedro stops fingering you, arms wrapped around your legs and still licking your clit helping you ride your orgasmic wave.

Once silence settles and your breathing evens out, Pedro climbs on top as your body occasionally spasms. He pecks you on your satisfied smile, praising how delicious you taste, how beautiful you are and that he can't enough of hearing you moan his name.

"That was definitely a first." you happily sigh, words slurred and eyes heavy.

He climbs further up the bed and hoists you up to your pillows like a rag doll. Covering you with your throw blanket, he tucks himself behind you and wrapping his body around yours, nose nuzzled into you.

Sweet hums and kisses along your neck and shoulders comfort you, drifting into sleep...

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[deepperplexity]

Prompt: 15. Frosty Glass

Pairing: Gruber x Fem!OC

POV: First, OC

Setting: Small village in the English countryside

Continuation of: 14. Icy Roads

A/N: So yesterday Anna-Louise and Hans met for the first time, both seemingly instantly connecting on some other level. So, let’s see what happens today between plastic santas and a sassy old lady, shall we? 🥰💚

+A/N: AND IT'S ANOTHER BLOODY LONG ONE - WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF?! 😭👍 I was hoping to have everything written for the prompts up until nr.19 today since my dad is coming over to celebrate Christmas this weekend but here I am, just having finished this one... I am terrible at containing myself and it's biting me in the ass right now 😂

Tags/TW’s: Dysfunctional Family, Self-worth Struggle, Repressed Emotions, Abandonment Issues, Hand Holding, Forehead Kisses, Fluffy Feels, Finding One’s Courage

Word Count: 4.7k+

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“Lulu! There’s no cookies!” dad shouted from the kitchen while I tried to dress the tree and keep sis’s blasted cat out of it simultaneously. Ferdinand was a menace on his best days, Christmas always turned into a blood bath, my hands and arms scratched up from chasing him out of the tree, out of the curtains, away from the presents — it was never-ending.

“Coming!” “Get the minty ones!” he shouted while I tried to hang the tinsel without Ferdinand getting the other end of it. “Sure thing, dad!” “Not those peppermint ones! The minty ones! The green ones!” “Oh my god,” I sighed under my breath. “Yes, dad! I KNOW!” “Oy! Don’t you take that tone with me, lassie!” “Why can’t you go your bloody self for once?” I muttered under my breath while stepping down from the stool.

Mum would have liked this tree, I thought with a smile of relief and pride. “Quite gorgeous if I do say so-, FERDINAND! NO!” The cat was already halfway up the tree, swatting at the tinsel before I could grab him. The cat shrieked and hissed, sinking their claws into my hands repeatedly. “Bloody hell, stupid cat!” Ugh, it’s not your fault but sod off, kitty!

I sat him down on the couch, knowing full well the second I’d leave the room he would be right back up in the tree. “Feral thing,” I hissed and he looked at me with those big eyes that I just couldn’t stay mad at even if my hands stung and were spotted with tiny droplets of blood from his sharp claws.

I washed my hands and grabbed my coat, hearing Ferdinand in the tree before I went out the door just as sis called my name in that tone that could only ever mean she wanted something from me. I didn’t stick around to find out what.

The afternoon was clear and bright despite the clouds hanging low in the sky. The wind had died down at lunch and it hadn’t snowed since last night. So, truthfully, it wasn’t so bad to be out of the house — even if it were on yet another errand for someone else who was too lazy to go themselves. Doesn’t matter, the weather is good, there’s not much people and there’s salt and gravel on the sidewalk so no slipping about today.

I didn’t dare think more of it as Hans had been on my mind nearly constantly since I had basically bolted away from him. Not even affording the man a chance to say goodbye as the conversation had hit too close to home when he asked such a direct question about my own perception of myself, my value. Are all Germans so direct and blunt?

I opened the door to the little café on the main street of the little village I was forced to call home and stomped off the snow from my boots. The space was decorated to the nines with all things tasteless. From the askew garlands to the tacky plastic Santas and elves dotting the surfaces of the room. Just like every year, it gets progressively worse.

“Oh, Anna-Louise!” I turned only to smile kindly at the little lady with a hunched back and a fat little dog by her feet. She was a sweet thing, hard of hearing and brutally honest but kind, to me at least. “Martha, how lovely to see you,” I said while she stepped up with short, slow steps to me. “Oh, don’t be daft, nobody likes me,” she said but I laughed for I actually did — even if she scared the children and swatted at peoples’ legs with her cane when they were in her way. She had taken care of me when nobody else did. When the house was empty and I was all alone at too young of an age she’d dragged me to her house and stuffed me with the saltiest treats and teeth-breaking cookies burned to a crisp.

“Now, when are you leaving?” she asked, peering up at me without being able to straighten her back, her hat askew and her teeth anywhere but in her mouth, as usual. Nothing changes here. “Martha, please,” I said with a smile as I bent down to scratch the fat dog under its chin — mostly to alleviate the strain on Martha’s neck from having to look up at me though. “You know I’m not leaving, I have nowhere to go, and nobody who cares.” “Humph, that’s hogwash and you know it, lassie! Your mum would have been pissed like a babe eating a sour lemon to see you stay around here with that brain of yours. You should be out there, exploring the world,” Martha said and began to throw around her cane to indicate the great big world.

“You know I can’t—” “That cane will cause harm eventually, waving it about in such a way, lady.” My body stiffened, my hand stopped scratching the dog as the dark German accent interrupted my sentence and Martha slammed down her cane by my foot with a loud thud. Hans…

I rose as quickly as I could. “Hans?” I asked while turning around and there he stood, all well-dressed and straight-backed. “Anna-Louise,” he said with a short nod and a warm smile. “Now here we have a fine man!” Martha exclaimed and I blanched for a second before whipping my head around. “Martha, you can’t say things like that!” I hissed, feeling my entire face burn. “What? Nobody ever uses that pretty name of yours anymore, always saying Lulu this and Lulu that. And look at him,” she kept going while pointing with her crocked finger blemished from old age, “he’s right off handsome, dressing as the men used to when I was a lassie.” “Martha, shush,” I tried with to silence her but Hans merely chuckled behind me. “Why, thank you, most kind of you, my lady,” he said in a charming manner that somehow felt quite false to me. He didn’t sound like that yesterday.

But Martha gobbled up the words with a chuckle before moving closer to the German man who'd saved my life yesterday while I was at a loss for what to do with the old lady and her daft behaviour. “You know my Anna-Louise?” she asked. “She’s yours?” he asked in return. “Well, her sleaze of a father ain’t much to hang in the tree, her good-for-nothing sister nothing but trouble and her mother—” “MARTHA. That’s enough,” I interrupted and the old lady tutted at me.

“Anywho, she’s my responsibility, so who are you?” “Hans Gruber, at your service, my lady.” He clicked his heels and bowed ever so slightly and still I felt as if it wasn’t quite him, yet he was bloody charming with his wide smile and friendly manner. There was just something wrong with it.

“German, eh? Love Germany, went with my husband back in the day, before the whole war thing, of course. Bloody waste of—” “Martha, for god’s sake, stop,” I sighed as the lady was about to set off on her usual campaign about how war was worthless, how her family raised bunnies to eat, how her husband was taken by it and all that stuff — stuff everyone already knew, agreed about or felt the same way about. There was absolutely no bloody reason to bring up world war two in the little café with its twinkling lights and the delicious smell of freshly baked treats.

Hans seemed unaffected though. “Shall I hold the door for you, my lady?” he asked with a wink in my direction and my shoulders slumped. Martha seemed delighted at the chivalry so uncommon in the poor village with too many dodgy people loitering about. “A gentleman, that’s proper behaviour!” Martha said and smiled her toothless grin up at him before moving towards the door that Hans opened for her. “Bye Martha! Remember to put your teeth in before you eat!” I called, a bit too loud perhaps, but the old lady really had bad hearing. She just waved me off though, too busy getting her wobbling dog out the door while looking at Hans.

I took the chance to get to the counter. But I had barely found the right minty cookies before Hans appeared next to me. “Lively lady,” he said with a chuckle and I smiled up at him in apology. “She’s quite the rascal, really, but she’s sweet. Just need to watch out for the cane, and have lots of patience, but she’s not bad,” I said before clamping my mouth shut. “I can imagine,” Hans simply said with a much warmer smile, a genuine feel to him now.

“Here for the treats?” I asked while turning back to see if there were any blueberry muffins left even if I couldn’t afford them. “Ah, no, actually,” he said and I glanced up at him. “You do know this is a café, right? Treats are kinda what they do here.” “Well, yes,” he chuckled, “but I saw you through the window, schnuki.” “Oh,” I said, not knowing what to make of it but feeling the strangest of giddy feelings at the way he looked a bit nervous.

“But, now that I am here, what do you recommend?” “Hmm, well, that depends on what you like. They have a lot of good stuff and the owner is really nice too, he bakes amazing bread too. The coffee is fresh as well, if you like coffee. I’m quite dependent on it,” I smiled while blabbering on. Unable to stop. Feeling as if there were butterflies in my stomach when he stood so close and offered me his full attention. “What are you having?” “Oh, nothing, I’m just getting some cookies for my dad, he ran out.” “So, out on another errand for someone else again?” I laughed nervously at that before biting my lip and turning away, not wanting to show that he’d hit the nail on the head once more.

“Why not get something while you are here? Tell me what you want the most?” “We aren’t all Oxford owners, you know.” “Oxford owners?” he asked, and my shoulders crept towards my ears — embarrassed about the muttering tone of my voice. “We can’t all afford treats,” I clarified in a low voice. “Schnuki,” he said and stepped a little closer, “I can afford to treat you. So, what do you want to have?”

I looked up at him, seeing him so close had my heart in a revolt of the warmest kind. “You really don’t—” “I can afford Oxfords,” he said matter-of-factly, putting an end to the debate. “Blueberry muffin,” I said, almost stunned at my own words -- short and to the point for once. There was no need to blabber much more as Hans actually listened to me, it felt a bit strange, honestly. “That’s your preference?” “My favourite.” “Well then, let’s get one each and some coffee.” I nodded at him, not knowing what to do when he was so kind, and giving. I wasn’t used to it. Everyone in the village had to hold on tight to their money, some more than others and my family was definitely part of that group. Or, I was at least, dad doing whatever he wished and my sis getting her way most of the time — with him or boys in general.

≪⁕≫

Hans hummed as he took the first bite of his muffin. “It’s good, right?” I asked with a small smile while tugging off my gloves to take my own muffin. “Really deli—” His eyes widened as I reached for my muffin and before I knew it my hands were in his. “What happened to your hands?” he asked while the warmth of his skin spread across my chilly hands with a wave of warmth rising within me. I couldn’t get my brain to even think a thought when he touched me, skin on skin.

“Schnuki? What happened? Why are you harmed?” I shook my head, blinking away the daze. “Oh, Ferdinand swatted at me, I’m fine though. He’s just—” “He? Who? Who is Ferdinand?” he gritted out, his blue eyes harsh. “Oh, my sis’s cat, he’s such a rascal because she never tamed him properly and I was doing the tree and he was trying to get the tinsel and climb it so I had to grab him and-, sorry, I’m blabbering… But I’m fine,” I said with a nervous smile as my hands kept tingling while he held them.

“Your hands should never look like this. Why did your sister not deal with her beast?” “Hans,” I laughed while he inspected my hands anew, “he’s no beast, he’s just a bit of a feral kitty.” “Still, this looks painful.” “I’m used to—” “This happens often?” “Well, yeah, I have to deal with him since sis doesn’t. She just thought he looked cute as a baby kitten, and dad hates Ferdinand, but he’s obsessed with making my sis happy so the cat would die if I didn’t care for it as much as possible. He doesn’t like me very much though, he’s a cat so he doesn’t understand who cleans his litterbox and makes sure there’s cat food and treats and clean water every day and all that. And he hates it when I bathe him, that’s a bloody war each time but he has sensitive skin so he needs baths with a special shampoo and-, oh, I’m blabbering again, I’m so sorry, I talk too much, all the time,” I said and finally managed to shut my mouth while my nerves were tied up in knots.

Through it all Hans still held my hands, his eyes apparently never leaving my face while my eyes bounced all over. He was too handsome and when he gave me his undivided attention I could barely hold myself together. So much in me was ready to burst out but he was a stranger I’d only met twice.

“Your family sounds quite terrible, quite selfish,” he said quietly and I laughed nervously, his words being too accurate. Again. “It’s not a laughing matter, why do you let them treat you this way?” “What else am I supposed to do? They’re my family,” I said and he finally (regrettably) released my hands while leaning back, looking at me intently. “Leave? You’re an adult.” “Yeah but I don’t have anyone and I can’t just leave, where am I supposed to go? I’ve never been further than London.” “You don’t need anyone, schnuki. You’re capable and more than able to stand on your own two feet.”

I glanced at him while wrapping my hands around the coffee cup, seeping up the warmth it offered my cold palms. “You don’t know me, Hans,” I whispered, feeling defeated when he had such faith in me. The last person who ever had faith in me was my mother and there was no faith to be had there anymore. “I don’t need to know you, it’s enough to look at you and talk with you a bit.” “Fine, be that as it may, I don’t want to be alone out there. The world is too big, too cruel and harsh. I’d break down in a puddle of anxiety. No, I’m better off here.” “Yet you’re not.” “I didn’t realise the muffin came with a therapy session,” I chuckled while I did my damnedest to restrain the tears wanting to well up. He was so genuine in his words, it just touched something within me — not to mention how he watched me, what it felt like to be near him and the strong sensation of care he radiated.

“I’ve offended you,” he said. “I’m sorry, schnuki.” “No, no you haven’t, I just-, it’s not so simple.” “What if I make it simple?”

I looked up at him, my muffin still untouched on the table and he had gotten comfortable in the booth. Something about the way he spoke those last words had my full attention. Something lingered in the air around him and it felt… honest.

“How would you do that?” I asked, leaning my elbows on the table to not crumble under his heavy gaze. He smiled slyly yet it was done in a comforting, alluring manner. The man had some unexplainable charm, not to mention he was easily the hottest man I had ever seen — not that I had ever been very attracted to anyone I’d ever met before. But his looks were so singular and it felt as if he held himself with a certain pride that had nothing to do with vanity. “Come with me,” he said, no faltering or humour in his voice while I blinked rapidly at him.

I burst out laughing, turning a few heads at the loud noise. “Oh yeah, let me just go with the stranger I met only yesterday, that’s a brilliant idea,” I laughed but he didn’t join in. He remained quiet, serious. “You’re joking, right?” “No.” “You’re being serious?” “Yes,” he nodded while his smile crept back for a second.

I leaned back, my mouth agape and my brain stunned. “You do know that’s like how to not get kidnapped one-o-one, do not go anywhere with strangers. Especially as a woman, and even more so when the stranger is a man.” “So that’s what we are, schnuki? Strangers? Just a man and a woman?” “Well, yes! We just met yesterday!” “Yet I’ve been unable to stop thinking about you.” And I you… This is madness!

My heart was running amok, my brain malfunctioning, and there was some idiotic part of me that simply wanted to say yes. Say ‘take me away from here and never stop looking at me like you are doing right now’ kind of thing that was wholly foolish and a thousand times idiotic.

“I don’t know you, Hans,” I said, even if there was some part of me that for whatever reason had faith in the man. That I wouldn’t come to harm, that I wouldn’t be abandoned again, or treated like some slave in my own home. Hans was… different. “And I don’t know you, Anna-Louise. Yet still, I feel as if I know who you are, what you are supposed to be.” “Nobody knows that,” I sighed, grabbing my coffee anew and drinking a large gulp despite the hot liquid burning my tongue.

“If nobody knows, then that includes you, no?” he asked while I sat the cup down. My eyes lingered on the blueberry muffin. “I guess, that’s almost fair to say. I don’t think anybody really knows who they are or what they are supposed to be.” “Then why not trust in someone else to see something more in oneself?”

I had no answer to that.

“Schnuki,” he said while his hand reached out and took mine gently, his thumb stroking over my knuckles softly. “Why do you call me that? What does it even mean?” I asked and looked up at him, his face soft while his eyes hooked mine. “I’m leaving at nine, taking the train north,” he said and avoided my questions entirely. “If you change your mind and decide you’d like to see the world with me, I’ll be waiting until the very last second, schnuki…”

He release my hand, stroked my jawline gently, and stood. My eyes followed his face all the way up while everything in my body screamed for me to take his hand and walk right out of the café by his side. That my life was going to walk right out with him and I’d never live another day as anything more than Lulu when I could be schnuki, whatever the hell that means. It can’t be worse than losing my name because it takes too much energy to say it, to be of so little value not even my name worth saying in its entirety… But he says it.

Hans walked around the edge of the table, pulling on his black gloves and adjusting the scarf around his neck while my body tensed. He was handsome, elegant, different and alluring in a way I’d never experienced before. “Schnuki,” he said and leaned forward, kissing my forehead gently. Yet, there was resolve and some touchable feeling of longing I couldn’t quite place seeping from his lips against my skin. “If we never met again, know that you are worth more than you think,” he said against my forehead and straightened to his full height.

The sound of the door closing jolted me. I turned to look out through the window, wanting to see him one last time only to find him standing there on the other side with a warm smile that was slightly blurry through the glass covered in frost. He just stood there, watching me for a long moment while my body appeared frozen in place, unable to run after him because of the fear yet unable to get my heart to understand that he wasn’t going to stay.

He took off his glove and drew the tip of his finger against the glass, melting the frost with his body heat while writing something. My eyes were too occupied with the view of his handsome face to fully register what he was doing though. And then he looked at me again, smiling softly with sincerity in those clear eyes. My heart pounded, my ribs hurt from the beating — or perhaps from the knowledge it held that my brain couldn’t comprehend.

One second he was there, and then he was gone. It took me a moment to realise I was staring out the window at absolutely nothing, then I bolted outside. “HANS!” I called over the sound of passing cars and laughing pedestrians. But he wasn’t there. My entire body slumped and a cold sense of dread crept in as I looked around the main street — all the shops and buildings engraved in my mind, every stone housing a memory I wished to forget or a feeling I never wished to experience again. All around me lay everything I had always wanted to escape from, yet had been tied to so fiercely I failed when the opportunity was given. Because I was afraid, taught to think of myself as something small and worthless to the world.

I hugged myself and turned only to catch my reflection in the frosty glass. My eyes had smiled yesterday when I looked in the mirror while brushing my teeth, because he had been on my mind. Now, they were back to their normal state, closed off and vacant. I drew a deep breath and tried to find it in me to turn around and go home.

‘Sweetie’ it said on the window. Where Hans had been writing with his finger, the word sweetie was left behind and I couldn’t understand why such a childishly cute nickname damn near hurt every fibre of my body. Yes, you do, you know, Anna-Louise. You know why it hurt. You bloody well know! I screamed at myself in my head while I grabbed at the fabric covering my chest.

I had been nothing but unwanted, found to be a blabbering nuisance that could never do enough or be enough. The only thing I ever did enough of was talking, but what point is there to talking when nobody ever listens? I talk all the time because-, because no matter what I say or how many times I say it nobody hears me anyway… Nobody listens. I could say I’d off myself and nobody would bat an eye, they wouldn’t have heard me…

I wiped at my cheeks, the tears coming even if I didn’t want them to. My throat closed up as my fingers touched the glass where his finger had been, my other hand covering my mouth to silence the crying I didn’t want to let out. It felt as if years upon years of suppressed hurt, caged anger and hidden fear were trying to crawl their way into the light. It was so easy to hide it away, pretend it wasn’t there when nobody ever cared to see, to listen, to remind me of the fact that I deserved more. That I didn’t deserve to feel like I always did, to hide away and blabber myself into oblivion in the hope that maybe someone would see me, hear me…

I withdrew my hand, wrapping it around my aching stomach while clamping down my hand even harder on my mouth as my tears rolled despite my wish for them to stay hidden while my legs began to tremble beneath me. Did mum feel like this when she left? Was I not enough even for her to-, to bring me with her… It was the thought I never allowed myself to think.

“It can’t end like this. I can’t end up like this. There-, there has to be more to life than-, than-, than this,” I whispered against my palm while the tears chilled my face in the icy English winter. I’ll go. I’ll go and I won’t look back no matter what happens. I can’t-, I can’t live like this. And I… A gasp escaped me as my eyes lingered on the word ‘sweetie’, I feel something significant for him. There’s more to him, us, than just… strangers. There’s more.

≪⁕≫

I ran. My bag thudded against my thigh. They didn’t even notice. They won’t notice until there’s nobody there to do it all. And I won’t! I won’t be there anymore for them!

I panted as the station came into view, the large clock at the entrance standing at 08.56 pm. My heart ached and fluttered, my legs were drained and stiff while the wind clawed at my cheeks. He’ll be there, he has to be there, I chanted over and over in my head to keep the tears at bay.

I was leaving. I wasn’t coming back. I was running away. Running towards something. Someone.

“Please, be, there,” I panted. My breath turned to fog and I slowed down, unable to breathe without a burning sensation erupting in my throat from the cold air being inhaled too swiftly. I slowed down, feeling the nerves erupt and the fear of the unknown tried to make me turn around. But I couldn’t. The thought of him, of Hans, waiting for me with that longing in his eyes that saw me. The man who was happy when I blabbered after having been so quiet at the beginning. ‘She speaks’ he had said with warmth and I could not imagine ever forgetting those words.

I walked through the station house, my naked hands red and raw from the cold while I grasped at the strap of the duffel bag. He’ll be there. He’ll be waiting. He’ll absolutely be there. Right..? “I’ve lost my mind. I’m leaving with a stranger who calls me sch-nuky,” and I can’t even say it right… What am I—

There he was. Waiting on the platform. His entire body tense and stiff. But he was waiting. He was there.

It felt as if I could breathe again. My shoulders sank and an involuntary smile stretched my lips wide at the sight of him. I remained utterly still for a moment as I took him in, took in the fact that he was waiting for me while the train lay idle in wait for its departure time.

“H-Hans,” I whispered, my voice shaking. There was no chance he could have heard me from so far away, yet he straightened and looked around. His eyes found me nearly instantly and his entire body softened. A smile of his own spread across those thin lips framed by his perfectly groomed beard.

I couldn’t move, couldn’t get my legs to take me to him. Stunned that it was all happening. Surprised at the absolute joy in my heart at seeing him again. Transfixed by the shift in his eyes as he looked me over, his gaze snagging on my bag for a second before he began walking towards me. My fingers squeezed the strap harder as he drew closer, my throat closing up.

“Schnuki,” he exhaled a step away from me and then I was in his arms. “You came,” he murmured, as if he struggled for words as well. My arms came around him and I buried my cold face in his chest and shoulder. “I did.” “Anna-Louise…” he exhaled and kissed the side of my head. “We’ll see the world together, my sweet treat,” he continued after that and I couldn’t imagine I would ever have found the courage to leave the misery behind if it weren’t for the stranger who I’d so foolishly swiftly fallen head over heels for.

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A/N: I love these two… Like, I love the way this is so held back yet obvious at the same time. They are so darn cute together and I can’t help but wonder how Anna-Louise would react to finding out who she’s actually left everything for… 😬 What do you think? Would they be able to get through that when they are so new to each other 🤔 I have no idea, maybe?

Either way, I hope you enjoyed this and that you found some delight in the cuteness 🙈🥰💚

Taglist: @lizlil @snapefiction @darkthought15 @monstreviolet @flowerdementia @marvelschriss @once-upon-an-imagine @ravennight41 @caseydoodles98 @slytherinprincess03 @theconsultingdetectiveswife @grimmyhild @monster-energies @myobscureimaginarium @snowblossomreads @eternal-silvertongued-prince @cherryglossie@setsuna-meiou31 @helena211 @a-queen-and-her-throne @justsaturn0 @turvi @imwithyoutiltheendofthelinebucky @sunnylikesfrogs @mamawolfsmith16 @dianilaws @snowblossomreads @leah1243 @reinekefoxart @reiketsunomizunomegami @lokisbjchn

Want to be tagged? 💚 You can tag yourself HERE! Or tell me and I’ll gladly tag you! 😍

[Dec:2022]

#rickmas2022 #rickmas #hans gruber #hans gruber fic #alan rickman #gruber #rickmaniac #christmas fic #christmas #fanfiction #love the villain #deepperplexity fic #deepperplexity #plex

[shaftking]

https://www.tumblr.com/godmodebeginswithlesbians/732567688496431104/we-need-less-sanitized-queer-stories-youre-the

I can’t believe the amount of notes this post has of people agreeing with it. I have no idea what The Locked Tomb is so I can’t speak on that, but regarding She-Ra, ever since the finale, I’m one of the people who’s been agreeing with the statement that OP is mocking here. To clarify, though, I’m not a puritanical anti at all- in fact, I’m all for less sanitized LGBT stories (yes, LGBT, not q**r), but I want them to still be well written, make actual sense narratively, and deliver a positive message for a target demographic of children, all which She-Ra failed at.

I read some of the notes and aside from the typical nonsense I’m used to seeing toxic She-Ra fans spew, there are people who reblogged this defending She-Ra while simultaneously admitting that they DIDN’T EVEN WATCH THE SHOW. Ofc they’re not gonna understand or interpret any of the criticism in good faith if they haven’t even watched the damn show. That’s the brainless mob mentality that’s to be expected on this site.

Anyway, as a writer who majored in animation, seeing posts and notes like this is so disheartening. I don’t have much hope for the entertainment industry (especially animation) or the LGBT community. Both have proven that their standards are lower than dirt and that they all have piss poor media literacy and critical thinking skills that lead them to harassing and hating on anyone who dares criticize the media that they blindly worship. It’s insulting as a writer and sets a bad precedent that professionals can just produce poorly written fan fiction with a budget that validates childish NPCs who eat it up as long as it caters to their sensibilities and is under the guise of progressivism for kids so it can be praised as “groundbreaking.” It makes me wanna steer clear of this industry entirely tbh.

I’m also familiar with SPOP but not The Locked Tomb, so I can speak on that. And we all know that I really can’t stand SPOP. I personally view it as one of those shows that was fine and even good at times until it self destructed in the last season and especially the finale with just an astonishing lack of self awareness.

The problem with Catradora, especially compared to the other ships in the show for the most part, is that’s it’s dysfunctional and toxic in a show that is targeted to children that otherwise pushes a lot of life lessons subtexually and textually. This also isn’t just a problem of the relationship itself, it extends to their actions towards other characters, such as the fact that there is no real consequence for Catra literally killing Glimmers mother out of complete selfishness. I think the whole show kind of suffers from sudden character amnesia about other characters past crimes. Because it happened with Hordak and Scorpia and Entrapta as well to varying degrees.

And I think the doublethink the show has about being Mature and Complex vs It’s A Children’s Show So You Can’t Criticize It extends to fan attitudes. And let’s be real, the Catradora kiss was not that revolutionary when SU and LOK already had their representation moments years before. In fact it’s weird and dysfunctional asf to have characters who were implied to have grown up as sisters and raised together (the literal reason why Catra was jealous and over dependent on Adora) just kiss and have all of their problems and past just basically vanish so that they can have a few cute shippy moments before the series finale.

All that aside I personally hate being pandered to and baited. I genuinely want to see stories about people who are LGBT and different races and with different belief systems and backgrounds, but just slapping a label onto a character or story doesn’t make it good, you still have to write good characters and story. You still have to work to make things cohesive and you have to understand that as a writer you will always face criticism. Especially when you market your work so hard as the next big thing.

And as an audience member, at the very least as a teen and onwards into adulthood, you should be capable of media literacy to the extent that you can watch a show about a couple toxic codependent weirdos and recognize that they were toxic codependent weirdos even if you mostly just had fun watching them get up to fucked up shenanigans.

#ask #im a hater! I will remain a hater! #sorry for the anti Catradora rants but like what the hell

[ain]

constantly thinking abt her (the girl[?] i keep dreaming of) i don't understand why i keep seeing her or thinking abt her bc like . im 100% certain i havent seen anyone like that irl ?? it makes no sense djdjd anyway im confused why my brain is doing this and what it means

#i had a dream where someone who hates me chased me through my childhood town and i told them they have a beautiful smile and they told me i #will be beautiful when i die #i thought to myself you have infringed upon pure memories (the most sacred thing) and i cannot forgive you for that #i woke up and it was 3pm and i couldn't stop thinking about how the field stretched out and how unspoken grief makes a human so effective #and simultaneously dysfunctional. when you know a last kiss will be the last kiss it will also be one of the best kisses . #the last time i kissed someone i was not in love . i was not grieving them . i was grieving my own loss . #i thought i had died #the girl in my dreams is called medmoriel and she has beautiful eyes and she is full of wit and hatred and happiness and i don't know what #any of it means #look at me anyone anyone anyone look at me #stare at me - i will not stare back direcrly - and let me hold your shoulders and tell you i love you i love you i love you #i will love almost anyone i think most people will love almost anyone if they know them enough #any stranger will become beautiful once you know them

[binniedeactivated]

𝐝𝐢𝐥𝐟!𝐲𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧. || 🌪💦 (1.5)

[ m.list ]

➦ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 | 𝐝𝐢𝐥𝐟!𝐲𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧 𝐱 𝐏𝐎𝐂 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥

➦ 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 | 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐮

➦ 𝐖/𝐂 | 3k

➦  𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒  | 𝐈𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐧  𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫,  𝐚𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐚 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫  𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭'𝐬  𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫.

➦ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 | angst, smut

POC = person of color

yeonjun waited. he was trying to think of different ways he could address the situation but there was no other way he could think of, besides get angry. he didn’t want to get angry especially since what happened last time. he didn’t want myla or even daniel to hear them arguing and he especially didn’t want to wake up logan. but there was no way he was going to leave this situation unaddressed. he needed to say something even if it ruined them. he kisses a sleeping logan on his forehead, tucking him inside his crib and covering him with his fuzzy blanket to ensure warmth. like clockwork as soon as he turned off his light and shut the door behind him he could hear the front door downstairs opening, indicating that leah was home.

and just like always she took her shoes off at the door and went straight upstairs to the bedroom where yeonjun was. she didn’t say a word which always pissed yeonjun off. it didn’t seem like they were married anymore it seemed as though they were roommates and he hated that. especially when it seemed that way in front of the kids. he watched her go to the closet to undress and look for a change of clothes, ignoring the fact that yeonjun was sitting there waiting for her to speak. he was done waiting though. he was just going to take matters into his own hands. “so? is there something you want to tell me?”. he starts. she grabs a pair of sweatpants from her drawer. “what are you talking about yeonjun?”. he threw the condom wrapper to the middle of the bed for her to see. anxiety flooded her veins.”what is that?”. yeonjun shakes his head in disbelief. “don’t play stupid with me. whose condom is that? because it sure as hell isn’t mine”. leah swallows. “it isn’t mine either”. he tilts his head. “then whose is it? daniel’s? because he’s only in the fourth grade and he doesn’t have any money to buy it so stop being a fucking liar and just tell me the truth”.

“I’m telling you the truth. you need to calm down!”.

“don’t tell me what I need to do. you need to do a lot of things. you can start by just telling me that you’re fucking someone else. go ahead I’m a grown man I can take it”.

“oh please. nobody has time for this shit yeonjun. every time I walk in the house you find something new to argue with me about”.

“every time you walk in the house -- you mean every single night after everything is said and done? after I cook dinner, clean, do laundry, put the kids to bed here you come walking in the door like you’ve had the longest day ever I don’t even remember the last time you’ve even told your kids goodnight”.

“you’re the one that suggested I started working again remember? now you’re getting mad at my hours and how hard I work. it’s my job yeonjun”.

“so your job just cancels out you being a mom all together? your job is more important than being around?”.

she ignores him, getting into bed and angrily throwing the blanket over her shoulder while facing the opposite direction. “you know what yeonjun? if this is all we’re going to do then why don’t you just fucking divorce me. you’re obviously not pleased with anything I do”.

“and then what? raise our kids in two separate homes? going to court for custody battles and child support and all that crazy ass mess I’m not doing that. my kids don’t deserve that. we need to communicate”.

“how long have we been communicating yeonjun? it’s been like this for almost a year look where communicating has gotten us. it’s always something new to argue about”.

“because you’re a liar leah.  and you don’t want to admit a damn thing. if you can start comfortably telling me about your feelings then there would be nothing to argue about. do you even want me? be honest”.

she adjusts the blankets over herself, shutting her eyes. “I’m going to sleep yeonjun”.

yeonjun rolls his eyes, flicking the condom wrapper off the bed. “of course you are. whenever I confront you it’s always the perfect time for you to sleep”. she continued to maintain her silence hoping he would be quiet somewhere in between. and eventually he did. she was free to drift off and think about things other than the failing marriage at hand.

adriana holds her index finger to her lips while her class was in a straight line at the door. well, sort of in a straight line. the line looked a little dysfunctional and out of place, which is why she was standing in front of them giving them the silent expression to calm them down. “guys. guys before we go anywhere we need to make sure we’re silent because there are other classes still working. if we’re too loud we might lose our chance to go to the book fair today”. upon hearing that, that threat was enough for the small children to rush and stand perfectly in line putting an imaginary zipper on their lips. while she guided them down the hallway to their music class myla began to dig her hands in her pockets, feeling nothing but space on it’s insides. her heart began to sink and her mind started to race. she could’ve sworn. she could’ve sworn she asked her father for money this morning. she reached her hand into her back pockets to check but felt her ears getting hot when she realized there was nothing in those either. upon the entry way to the music classroom myla approaches adriana with tears rimming her eyes in distress. “ms. A I don’t have my money!”. she pouts with trembling lips. “you mean for the book fair?”. myla nods her head, “I can’t find it I really want to buy books”. adriana grabs the nearby tissues at the door and began softly wiping her face, “don’t worry we’re going to the book fair later on today. I’ll call your dad to see if he can bring in some money for you alright?”. myla thanks her and gives her a small hug hoping that her father could give it to her on time. “hurry to class myla”. adriana encourages, leaving myla scurrying into the music classroom with a closing door.

by the time adriana arrives back inside her classroom she was startled a little at the sound of faint movement. she wasn’t expecting yeonjun to be there looking for her. he seemed quite annoyed with her the other day after the incident so she was kind of nervous to speak to him. all her nerves went away though once she locked eyes with him and he gave her a gentle smile. “hey I forgot to give myla her money this morning for the book fair. I know she’s probably freaking out over it”. adriana smiles a little, “i was just coming in here to call you about it. she was crying and everything. she’s going to be so happy when she finds out”. yeonjun hands her an envelope with cash and adriana takes it hesitantly, yearning to address something before he disappeared. “thank you. I’ll give it back to her once the kids get back from music class. and um-- yeonjun I want to apologize for the other day. with these kids there are new issues arising everyday and i try to relieve the situation as best as possible and for some reason I didn’t think about even calling you”. yeonjun nods. “it’s alright I just get a little anxious when stuff like that happens to them. I just want to be aware. if I came off a little rude I apologize about that”. the warm smile he held at the end of every sentence made adriana blush like she was sixteen again. her eyes were elsewhere when he approached her, lifting her chin up with his hand so he could see her beautiful face clearly. once their lips aligned there was no turning back from it.

with the doors locked and shutters down yeonjun lifts her onto the desk, encasing her in the sloppiest of kisses while her arms clung around his neck in need. it felt normal, the sex between them both became the norm in whatever relationship they established. adriana wasn’t as half as embarrassed as she was the first time. instead she didn’t mind showing just how much she needed and wanted yeonjun in that moment, allowing her hand to fall to the appendage of his jeans and unbuckles them as fast as she possibly could. something in his chest swelled when adriana wrapped her hands around his hardened length and stroked him to full arousal. his hand cupped the underside of her jawline while he kissed her, allowing his tongue to roam the inside of her hot mouth. it was something about hearing yeonjun groan that pooled moisture into her panties. his groans were husky and dark, filled with nothing but lust and need. each time one escaped his throat it was more elongated than the last. the vibrations of his mouth set her body aflutter, she dug her tongue into his mouth in response exchanging saliva and rutting her hips against his leg. his fingers swept along the front of her panties until he stuck his fingers behind the elastic of them, rubbing soft circles into the swollen organ at the apex of her thighs. she began to twitch at his touch, having it been awhile since she got touched by him and was now craving it more than ever before. it took nothing for his fingers to become sticky and slick with her arousal. now she had vibrations of her own meeting his and creating a harmony of moans that only the both of them would be able to comprehend. she twists her hand up and down his length simultaneously pumping him, he felt himself rocking his hips into her hand until he felt her gushing with slick. he wanted more. he gripped her moving wrist and put her movement to a halt, whispering in between kisses. “wait a minute. let me fill you”.

his voice was soft and sincere, he maintained his mindless kisses while he reached up her skirt and dragged her panties down her thighs and finally over her ankles onto the floor beneath them. he aligned himself with her hole, teasing the head of it along her sticky folds before he actually pushes himself in, sending a sharp whine sputtering from adriana’s throat. yeonjun closes his eyes swiftly at the warm feeling of her channel clenching around his length. he too, held his mouth open with chuffs of air escaping it. their eyes were fixated on each other’s refusing to let this moment of conjoining go to waste. staring into his eyes while he was pumping himself inside of her was like another way of appreciating him and assuring him that it all felt too good for her to handle, especially since she could barely get a sound out without becoming winded at the feeling. and staring into hers was like appreciating art in it’s purest form. her gorgeous face stunned and her arousal setting a fire ablaze in his belly. he curls his fingers over the edge of the desk for support, rocking his hips inside of her while her legs were wrapped around his waist. her lips were moving against his neck but they weren’t doing much since every time he moved she’d gasp and whine. he hastened his pace and it satisfied yeonjun really, to hear her cursing softly with her head swarmed in pleasure because of him. the more he drove into her the faster the knick knacks and objects on the desk rattled against one another, adding to the sinful sounds adriana was already making beneath him. the symphony of noises spurred him on wards, making him wanting to hear more of them.

he plunges deeper, without a care in the world for who could possibly hear. he hoped anyone nearby had enough noises going on in one ear to where they couldn’t hear the breathless moans and rocking desk in the other. his strokes were rapid and by now adriana was just trying to keep herself afloat in the midst of his aggression. each time his hips slammed into her she could’ve sworn she heard another object clash from the desk to the ground. she was too far in her blissful trance to care. his cold metal necklace swept across her chest while he leans down to soak up the noises she couldn’t contain. despite the speed of his thrusts his mouth was moving lethargically against hers, appreciating the softness of her lips and how lost they made him feel each time he touched them. her body alone was like a vacation to him. her eyes, her smile, her lips, her sex-- he didn’t have to worry about anything else coming to mind when she was around. her nails clawed into his shoulder blades as another stapler went crashing down on the floor beside them, probably now broken but none of that was adriana’s business at the moment. her body was trembling, a hot feeling surged through her veins and spread through the circumference of her neck making her convulse. her tiny moans and needy noises went directly into the curvature of his neck. it felt as though a star was bursting inside of her, an overwhelming sensation rippled through her body as the head of his length touched her spot over and over again until she was secreting down her thighs and his. “fuckkk”. yeonjun breathes winded, having to fuck through her gush of a mess so he could cum too.

adriana didn’t want to seem clingy while they were finally dressing themselves but in a way she felt closer to yeonjun. she wanted more of him and not just in a sexual way. after her last relationship she promised herself that she wouldn’t take chances with any men for a while but yeonjun seemed different. so different. only, she didn’t know how to strike a good enough conversation to indicate that she wanted to take things further. buckling his jeans and fixing his now wrinkled shirt yeonjun took a deep breath and spoke softly finally executing his thoughts. “adriana before I leave I want your number. if that’s alright with you”. before she felt herself get excited she calmed down thinking that maybe, this could be him using her as a booty call. she didn’t want to get her hopes up. “yes that’s fine, i don’t mind that”. she takes a pen and writes her digits down on a sticky note and hands it to him.

yeonjun takes another deep breath. “and um- my kids are spending the night with my parents on friday night. I was wondering if maybe--you were free you’d want to go out?”. adriana bites her lips and yeonjun could tell she was thinking. he quickly speaks up. “not to have sex or anything. unless that’s what you want but i guess I’m trying to ask you on a date? do you want to go on a date with me? it’s okay for you to say no. it’s no pressure I was just wondering”. adriana laughs at his nervousness. she thought she was the pathetic one for always getting nervous around him and now here he was, a fidgeting mess. “yes yeonjun. I’d love to go on a date with you”. he smiles. “wait really?”. she throws her arms in the air. “yeah why not? why are you so shocked?”. well, yeonjun realized it’s been a while since a real woman was actually into him. of course he didn’t want to admit that to adriana. he shook his head instead. “I don’t know I guess I just wasn’t expecting you to say yes. so maybe I can pick you up at your place at like 8 maybe? I can text you the details”. adriana chuckles at how awkward he was about it. “yes 8 is fine. you’re more than welcome to text me. now go to work yeonjun”. yeonjun laughs realizing he was making a fool out of himself. he turned to leave. “okay I’ll leave. I’ll text you”. adriana waves. “please do!”. if and only if, adriana’s door shutters weren’t up yeonjun probably would’ve done a happy dance in the hallway if he could.

#yeonjun #choi yeonjun #yeonjun smut #yeonjun fanfic #single father au #smut au

[clocks-are-round]

yeah so i ended up writing this. maybe i’ll incorporate it into a longer fic eventually but for now here’s this. i just kinda rolled with it and it turned out fun.

References my fic Dysfunctional

——

“Was there a reason your father and I weren’t made aware of your wedding?” Her arms were crossed in true Karen fashion.

“Yeah,” Simmons said, “I didn’t think of you. And even if I had, I wouldn’tve wanted you to come. Things didn’t exactly go well when I visited.”

“Yeah, that’s fair,” Imogen bit her lip. “Grif, you may have been right in your… constructive criticism. My efforts weren’t working because I was troubleshooting the wrong area.”

Grif nudged Simmons, “You really take after your mom, don’t you?”

“What? Why would you think that?” they said simultaneously.

“In any case,” Imogen continued, “I will do my best to be more open to feedback. Your father is a definite work-in-progress, but I think if he can allow himself to learn, he’ll stop pushing you away. If he doesn’t, I’ll just get him cancelled by letting it slip that he’s transphobic and actually disowned his son for years for that very reason— oh no, Jimmy my darling! I couldn’t silence the press in time!”

“Mom, you wouldn’t!”

“You’re right, but it’s kind of funny to imagine his face as everything he’s built up falls down around him.”

“The Imogen Simmons I know never resorts to humor! I don’t hear any laughter. Should I warn the CIA that my mom is a nefarious supervillain?”

“No!” She covered her smile trying to hold it in, “I just—“

“Hello, Mr President? Are you aware of the social superpower that is Imogen Simmons? It would take all our forces to even attempt to stop that woman once she’s made up her mind!”

A snort escaped through her giggles, “Dickie!”

Grif smiled. This was a completely different vibe from when he had dinner with them. This was nice.

——

“Is Grif short for something?”

“No, it’s just my last name.”

“Oh, would you prefer I call you by your first?”

Grif shrugged. Not really.

“Fair enough. We’re not exactly close.”

“Uh, also… You were right about something too.”

“Yes?” Jesus, that got her full attention.

“Or at least, you got me thinking about what I wanted to do with my life. And if there was someone I’d want to settle down with. If you hadn’t brought that up, I probably would’ve taken a lot longer to tell Simmons how I felt about him.”

——

“What did you say? She looks really proud of herself, which usually means something big.”

“Eh, she’s kind of the reason I confessed to you. That night you didn’t realize I was confessing to you.”

“She was? And you told her? You know she’s going to tell that story constantly right? We’re going to be hearing her brag about it every time we see her, so if she does become part of my life again—“

“There are worse things than a story about how we ended up together.”

“Well, when you put it like that…”

“You guyssss!!” A familiar falsetto shouted.

They turned. Sure enough, running towards them was—

“Donut??”

He leaped and hooked his arms around their necks, kissing each of their cheeks before they could react.

“Ugh, Jesus, keep it in Europe—“

“I heard the news! I can’t believe you guys are expecting!”

“Donut. What the FUCK are you talking about??”

“Expecting what?? I don’t have ovaries!”

“Forget your ovaries, there’s no fucking way my balls survived Tex.”

“What? No, expecting company! I heard you were patching things up with your mom, Simmons!”

“Jesus Christ, at least with the innuendos we knew what to expect.”

“Pun intended?”

“Shut up.”

“Wait, how did you hear about that? It just happened!”

“Well, I just heard about it. From Sam.”

“Locus! Stop being a fucking creep!”

“Yeah, seriously, Donut. Tell your partner to stop snooping in everyone’s business.”

“He calls it reconnaissance.”

#i love them so much i just had to share #red vs blue #rvb #//the husbands #//mr steal yo snacks #//*windows error sound* #//*the tinkling of champagne glasses* #locnut #my fics #//bitch simmons

[cjtheghost-14]

After All These Years - Leo Valdez x Reader

Requests: None

Notes: For my first fanfiction I knew I had to do something for my favorite character in the world, Leo Valdez!

Summary: Years ago when you ran away from your dysfunctional family, you met Leo Valdez and quickly fell in love. But, it was not to be. You were torn apart from each other and theres a part of you that never recovered. Years later you live at Camp Half-Blood, being best friends with the legendary Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase. When Percy goes missing the hole Leo left only grows, and when 3 mysterious demigods appear you are suspicious. But then you see Leo. 

Warnings:  Mental Abuse, Swearing, Angst,Depression, Dysfunctional Families, and tons of Fluff.

       Your boots hit the leaf ridden ground silently. Your heart pounding through your chest as you reposition your back pack on your shoulders. You take one last look at your old beaten down and paint chipped house before directing your attention to the path ahead of you. It was pitch black outside, save for the porch light leaking into the darkness beyond. You didn’t know what kind of creatures dwelled in the forest in front of you, but at this point it didn’t matter. After so many years of almost unbearable mental abuse from your (mortal parent), you were finally running away. The only destination in your mind was away. Away from this house of horrors. Away into the great beyond. It was edging into late fall now so you made sure to wear a coat, and pack a few spares too, along with rations, money, and water. You had to refrain from swiping your (mortal parents)’s credit card too, as those cards can be easily tracked. If theres one thing you didn’t want, it would be to come back to this house. 

You take one last deep breath, sucking in the cold night air, before suddenly sprinting away into the woods. Your feet crunch down on the dead leaves as you run. The farther away from the house you get the better you feel, so you speed up, darting through the trees in the dark. A soft laugh escapes your lips. It’s a sound you haven't heard yourself make in years, but the feeling is exhilarating. You laugh again, this time louder. The laughter fills your veins with pure bliss. It’s the happiest you’ve ever been. 

At least, until your boot snags on a tree root, sending you flying forward into the darkness. You put your hands in front of your face, bracing yourself for impact. You hit the ground hard, skidding through the fallen leaves. Then suddenly the ground isn’t there anymore. Your arms fly out and grab a root, sticking out of the cold earth. You look around and realize you're hanging out over a sinkhole. A strangled cry rips through your lungs as you see how deep it goes. The sensible thing to do is calm down and climb out, but your limbs are numb from the cold and the terror. Tears well up in your eyes as your life flashes before you. Your (mortal parent) always blamed you for your (godly parent) leaving, and made it known to the world. You never had a normal life, or a good one for that matter.

 Your hand starts slipping on the root but you're too distracted to notice. Then your cold fingers finally slip off of the root, but before you can fall you feel a warm hand wrap around your wrist. They pull you up and over the ledge of the sinkhole. You immediately stand up and stumble away from the edge, ensuring your safety. Then your eyes drift over to your savior, who’s holding a battery powered lantern that lights up the surrounding area. It’s a Latino boy your age, wearing a grease smeared army jacket. He has wild unruly black curly hair, pointed ears, warm brown eyes, and a mischievous grin creeping up onto his face.  

“That would have been quite the fall, huh?” He says.

“Yeah, I saw my life flash before my eyes.” You say, jokingly making a grimace. 

He chuckles and you smile at his reaction. You had always hid your pain behind humor, and it was an excellent strategy. It was also a plus to make others laugh when you could never yourself. 

“That bad? I can relate, that’s why I’m running away for the…” He trails off, silently counting before saying, “Third time, I think? I’m pretty much an expert by now. Now, what is a cutie like you doing out here?”

You blush slightly and reply with, “Same as you, running away. Except this is my first time.”

“Well…” He says, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “Since this is your first time and all, how about we stick together? I could show you the ropes.”

You think about it for a moment. Although, what is there to really think about? He seems trustworthy, and it doesn’t hurt that he’s incredibly handsome. “You know what? Let’s do it.”

His eyes widen, “W-woah, really? I didn’t really expect you to say yes.” Then his face splits into a giant grin, “My names Leo Valdez, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m (Y/N) (L/N).”

“Well, let me lead you to my campsite, mi princesa.” At that he takes your hand and starts to lead you through the dark forest. 

***

It had been a few weeks since you had met Leo Valdez, and those weeks had been the best weeks of your life. You had become best friends with him fairly quickly. He was just so funny, cute, and selfless. He had opened up to you about his past and his mother and in turn you opened up to him about your past. At this point he knew more about you than even your (mortal parent). You had to admit, you were falling in love with him. 

You were planning on telling him tonight, huddling around your nightly campfire. Your thoughts were interrupted by Leo finally getting the fire started and sitting next to you on the ground. You lean your head on his shoulder and he wraps his arms around you. The days were progressively getting colder and you two needed to keep warm so cuddling turned into a habit.  

“Hey, Leo?” You ask timidly.

“Yeah, mi princesa?” He responds. 

Leo had started using that name for you constantly. You secretly liked it, but every time he called you that you would simply say ‘stuff it, Valdez’. It was like a inside joke, and you loved it. You’ve never had a relationship like that with someone.

“I-I think I love you.” You say, deciding not to beat around the bush.

He immediately grabs your shoulders and spins you around to look at him. “(Y/N) please tell me this is one of your stupid ass jokes.” 

You scoff, “My jokes are better than yours, asshole.”

“So this really isn’t a joke?” He whispers.

You smile softly, “Not a joke.”

“I love you too.” He says.

He starts to lean down but freezes when sirens start. A group of policemen run into the clearing and yell, “There they are! It’s the runaways!” Before you can even get up off of the ground they pull you and Leo by your arms, leading you to separate squad cars. Your eyes widen as you yell, “Leo!”

Leo struggles against the policeman, but to no avail. “(Y/N)! I’ll find you! Don’t worry, I’ll got to the ends of the earth to fi-” He’s cut off when he’s thrown into he back of a police car. 

“Leo!” You yell again before your thrown into a police car yourself.

Years Later

You sit alone under a tree in Camp Half-Blood, mulling over your thoughts and memories as you stare off into space. You weren’t a fan of being left alone with your thoughts, but your best friend Percy was missing and Annabeth was out looking for him, leaving you by yourself. Your thoughts immediately wander back to Leo, making tears well up in your eyes. Leo still hasn’t found you and you haven't found him, and it was eating you up from the inside out. To this day you haven't had a bond with anyone like you had one with Leo. Sure, you helped save the world with Percy and Annabeth but it wasn't the same.

  After you were pulled apart from Leo, you where sent back to your (mortal parent) and the mental abuse only got worse. It wasn’t until a satyr told you that you were a demigod and took you to Camp Half-Blood that you were finally safe. But as the years went by you developed depression, missing Leo with everything you had. You only occasionally smiled at Percy being an idiot, but that was it. These past few months you've barely talked to anyone though. If missing Leo wasn’t enough, now Percy is missing and Annabeth is hysterical. You could barely keep on going. 

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of screaming. Your head snaps up as you see a chariot sailing through the sky. No, not sailing...falling. Your eyes widen as you realize it’s Annabeth’s chariot. You jump to your feet as you see it crash into the pond. You immediately sprint down to the crash site where others had already gathered.  

Annabeth is standing there soaking wet and looking frustrated while 3 other figures climb out of the pond. You slow down as you watch each of them emerge from the water. First is a girl, with feathers braided into her hair. Next is a boy with blonde hair that honestly looks...really bland. Your heart stops as you see the next person climb out.  It’s a Latino boy your age, wearing a grease smeared army jacket. He has wild unruly black curly hair, pointed ears and warm brown eyes. It’s Leo. Your Leo.

You audibly gasp, making heads turn to look at you. “Leo?!”

Leo scans the crowd, looking a little confused until his eyes land on you. His eyes widen, “(Y/N)?!”

Then you both simultaneously sprint towards each other, knocking over anyone in your way. Leo slows down as he draws closer but you speed up, slamming into him and knocking him over on to the grass. You start sobbing as you look into Leo’s eyes, which tears are welling up in too. 

“I can’t believe it’s you...” Leo whispers.

“I can’t believe it’s you either...Leo, I’ve missed you so much!” You say. Seeing Leo made it feel like a giant burden was lifted of off your shoulders. Seeing him made you feel complete. 

“I looked for you,” He says. “I ran away again and tried to find you but I couldn’t. (Y/N), I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. We’re together again that’s all that matters.” You say, smiling softly. 

He stares at you lovingly, his eyes drifting down to your lips. Then he kisses you. The feeling was something you’ve never experienced but it felt so right. You kiss back eagerly, running your hands through his curly hair. A series of Awwws sound throughout the camp. You pull back and smile. Leo is blushing like mad but smiles back. 

“Wait, this is the Leo?” Annabeth asks. 

You had told Annabeth all about Leo, but now you were regretting it. A bright red blush creeps up onto your face. 

“He’s kinda scrawny.” She comments.

You and Leo look at each other. A smirk appears on your face. “She’s gotta point there Valdez.”

A mischievous grin appears on his face. “At least I don’t tell stupid ass jokes, mi princesa.”

#leo valdez x reader #percy jackon and the olympians #heroes of olympus #rick riordan #leo valdez #leo valdez x #fanfiction #pjo #fandom

[thejolexgroupchat]

93. “I’m pregnant.” “Yeah, I already knew.” - I can totally see this happening and would love a fic of it

the one where Alex already knows

it only took us freaking forever to finally get this out, but it's here and we can't wait for you to read it!

This fic was written by @doc-pickles @iamtrebleclefstories and Nat!

For the years Jo had been alone with no one to call family, she’d never pictured a family quite as dysfunctional as this one. That wasn’t a bad thing, in fact Jo loved her family and she wouldn’t change them for anything. But watching Alex and his mom interact and seeing the same mannerisms in both of them, made her giggle. They were currently talking about the books in the makeshift library, Jo’s mind preoccupied with the baby hats she’d found.  

“Oh, my God! This is so cute,” Jo looked to Helen, the older woman’s eyes glimmering with appreciation. 

“Thank you. Those are for my grandchildren.”

“Oh!,” Jo racked her brain, trying to remember if she’d missed Alex telling her that they were going to have another niece or nephew. “Is Amber having another baby?”

“No. Those are for yours,” Helen spoke so matter of factly that Jo had to do a double take. 

“Our what?,” Jo knew her voice was impossibly high pitched, eyes wide as she looked to her husband, who was smirking at her like he knew something she didn’t. 

“Your kids,” Helen kept speaking, Jo barely taking in her words as her and Alex had a silent conversation with each other. “Uh, you know, I was reading an article about how gender is a more fluid concept than previous generations realized. So I figured that purple, green... Neutral colors.”

Nodding along with her mother in law, Jo’s heart began to pound wildly in her chest. A baby? Right now? Her and Alex hadn’t even been married a year and she was in the middle of her fellowship, plus her husband was working crazy hours as the Chief of Surgery currently. Babies were the last thing on Jo’s mind currently. 

Alex said goodbye to his mom, ushering Jo into the hallway where she promptly turned to him, eyes still wide as she spoke, “We're in the baby hat place?”

“She asked me if we wanted kids, and I said yes because we do,” Alex shrugged, as if his answer was the most normal thing in the world. “And she's making the hats extra big because I had an extra big head. Which now that I say it out loud sounds kinda daunting.”

She could’ve passed out right there, her chest growing tight as she stared her husband down. Jo wanted children with Alex, she really did, but the thought still scared her. 

“Are you pregnant and you didn't tell me?,” Jo snorted, eyes rolling as she attempted to joke about the situation. 

“No but you definitely are,” Alex’s retort was so quick that Jo couldn’t help but stop walking to stare at him. “What? It’s true, you’re clearly pregnant.” 

“Alex, I’m gonna have to take you to get a neuro consult. You are clearly out of your mind,” Jo laughed at him. 

“Wanna bet?” he placed his hand in front of her with the giddiest smile across his face. 

“No! Alex stop it, I am not pregnant,” Jo tried to talk some sense into Alex, who was still staring at her waiting to see if she was going to put the pieces together by herself or if he was actually going to have to help her out with that. “Fine, if you’re so sure then answer this. When would it have happened?” she asked. 

“Oh, come on. Jo,” Alex crossed his arms, looking at Jo expectedly as if the answer was right in front of her and she was overlooking it. 

“What? We’ve always been careful,” she rolled her eyes as they continued down the hall. “Besides, with how busy you’ve been lately I don’t think we’ve had enough sex to make a baby.”

“All it takes is one time,” Alex insisted as they stepped inside the elevator. 

“For the love of God, I’m not pregnant. I think I’d know if I were pregnant,” Jo pushed the button hoping they’d arrive on the OR floor soon enough for her and Alex to end this conversation. “Or I'd at least know before you.”

“Well if you’re sure, why don’t you take a pregnancy test and prove it?” Alex raised his eyebrows, challenging her. “If it’s negative, you get to take my biliary atresia case. If it’s positive, I get to choose the baby’s name.”

“Oh you’re on,” Jo stuck out her hand in response, Alex shaking it with a smirk.  

————

In retrospect, she should’ve said no to Alex’s request to name the baby if the test was positive. She honestly did not believe she was pregnant, however the pregnancy test that she had just taken in the hospital bathroom said otherwise. There were two lines. Two very dark lines indicating that she was in fact, knocked up. 

Not knowing what to do, Jo paged Meredith to the bathroom. Meredith walked in confused, “Hey. I got your page. Why are we in the bathroom?”

Jo shoved the test into Meredith’s hand and watched as Meredith registered what had been handed to her, “Oh my God. Jo, you’re pregnant?”

“Apparently,” Jo’s eyes were dazed as she struggled to figure out how and when this even happened. “It was supposed to be a joke, a stupid bet that Alex and I made. If the test was negative, I got his surgery. If it was positive, he got naming rights. I really thought it was going to be negative, now all I can think about is extra large baby hats.”

“You weren’t trying?” Meredith asked. 

“No,” Jo shook her head. “We’re always so careful. I’m on the pill, and if I missed one or had to double up, we'd use a condom.”

“Jo, you’re a doctor. You know that nothing is one hundred percent effective,” Meredith reminded.

“I know… crap,” Jo bit her lip nervously. “I’m pregnant. Alex figured it out before I did, and he gets to name our baby.”

There’s a beat of silence before both Jo and Meredith burst into laughter simultaneously. Jo wiped a couple tears from her eyes as Meredith placed a hand on her shoulder and pulled Jo into a hug, “I’m so happy for you guys. Now, go tell your husband that he was right.”

Jo made her way to Alex’s office with her heart hammering inside her chest. She stopped outside the door for a moment, taking a deep breath before knocking then walking straight in. Alex was sitting behind his desk, a grin spreading over his face when he saw Jo. 

“Hey you,” Alex held his arms out and motioned Jo over, something she wasted no time in doing as she settled herself onto his lap and buried her face into his chest. “What’s up?”

“I’m pregnant,” Jo’s voice was slightly muffled as she spoke into Alex’s chest, but he still let a chuckle out at the words. 

“Yeah I know, I already told you that,” Alex winced as Jo’s hand came up to smack his arm. “Ow! What the hell Jo?”

“You knocked me up! Then you made me give you full naming rights instead of just telling me I was pregnant,” Jo glared at Alex for a moment while he just smirked at her. “How the hell did you know before me?”

“First of all, I did tell you. More than once and you refused to believe me so that’s on you,” Alex shrugged, his arms wrapping around Jo as he placed a kiss on her forehead. “Secondly, your boobs are huge. I’m shocked you didn’t see that honestly.”

“Alex!”

“What?! I enjoy your boobs, you think I wouldn’t notice a change in scenery,” Alex let a laugh out at Jo’s shocked expression. “Now this is where you tell me ‘I’m so excited we’re having a baby and I can’t wait to hear all the name ideas you have.’”

"You're such a pervy old man… Wait, did your mom know before me, too? Is that why she was knitting baby hats?" Jo asked. "Did you tell her before you told me?" 

"Honestly, I have no idea why she was knitting them. I never said anything," Alex watched as Jo was wrapped in her thoughts. "Hey, it's okay. I know she kind of freaked you out there with all that talk about giant Karev baby heads, but we can always get you an epidural." he joked. 

“Yeah. There’s no way I’m doing it without an epidural,” Once again, Jo put her head on his chest, feeling his arms embrace her. “We’re having a baby, Alex,” she whispered. 

“We really are. Are you okay with it?” he asked. 

“I am. You don’t need to worry about me. I’m fine,” she smiled at him. 

They soon heard a knock on the door, and Jo stood up to open it, “Helen!” Jo said when she saw the older woman standing on the other side. 

“Come in, mom,” Alex said from behind the desk. 

“I was looking for you two. I was going to ask if there was anything you guys wanted for lunch. I kind of wanted to order from that bar across the street,” she stepped into her son’s office. 

Alex and Jo just looked at each other, bursting with anxiety, both wanting to tell Helen the news. Alex just nodded at Jo, indicating that she should start the conversation. 

“Helen, you wouldn’t happen to have those baby hats still?” Jo smiled proudly at her mother in law 

“Yes. They’re in my purse, why?” Helen dug through her purse, pulling a couple of hats from inside while Alex stood up and moved to his wife’s side. He sneakily placed his hand on her stomach while his mother wasn’t looking. 

Alex looked back and forth between the two women he loved and smiled, “Because I think we will be needing them, after all.”

#jolex #grey's anatomy #grey's fanfic #jo karev #jo wilson #jo x alex #alex karev #greys anatomy #dialogue prompts #jolex babies #jolex au #jolex fanfic #jolex forever

[zutaralesbian]

Killing Eve and Shameless for the meme!

My two brands at the moment! (Well more like Killing Eve and Gallavich but you know). I'm gonna do Shameless in a separate post to not make this insanely long lol

Killing Eve:

Favorite episode and why: God honestly I think I still have to say 1x05 aka "I have a thing about bathrooms". Everything about that episode was just amazing. The acting. The way both Eve and Villanelle were written. The intensity of their kitchen encounter. The wacky way Villanelle killed Frank which was like, the perfect way to display the overall vibe of the show. It was just SO GOOD. It's also super fun to compare Eve and Villanelle's dynamic in this episode to the bridge scene in S3. They really have come so far.

Funniest/crackiest/it’s-terrible-but-I-still-love-it episode/scene: I don't think anything in this show is terrible quality wise. But it does make me laugh at questionable things because it does dark humor very well lol. The one that comes to mind right now is Eve killing Raymond in the S2 finale. Only Killing Eve could make someone getting hacked up with an axe funny 😞😂

It’s-terrible-and-I-hate it episode/scene: I don't think there's anything that I hate. But a lot of the big Carolyn episodes in S3 bored me to tears. No offense to Fiona Shaw but Carolyn just works better as a supporting character I'm sorry.

Best episode/scene for my favorite character: Eve and Villanelle are simultaneously my favorite characters. I can't and won't choose between them. So:

Eve: I think 1x08 aka "God I'm tired" was really good for her. The scene of her angrily trashing Villanelle's apartment will forever live in my memory as one of the most iconic moments on the show lmao. It was both hilarious and very good from a character standpoint. We see her unravel and become unhinged throughout the episode, so the ending when she stabbed Villanelle made complete sense.

Villanelle: I'm gonna say 2x04 aka "Desperate Times". I think this episode was the first time we saw Villanelle show true, open sadness and distress. The belief that Eve was now bored with me sent her on a spiral that Konstatin eventually had to rescue her from. And that last shot with her looking into the mirror, realizing she's crying but then smiling because she realized she's finally feeling genuine emotions? A+

Basically I like any moments that display Eve's darkness and Villanelle's soft side because I'm now all about them meeting each other in the middle.

Best episode/scene for my favorite ship: Everyone and their mother would say this answer but...the bridge scene in 3x08. (For Villaneve ofc). It was one of the few times where we saw them speak completely honest with each other and also coming to terms with what their relationship really is. (Well for the most part). Villanelle realizing that she brings out Eve's monster and visibly wondering whether that's really what Eve wants or needs. Villanelle being willing to be selfless and let Eve go???? Such a contrast and development from their last scenes in S2. And then there's Eve who knows very well about the monstrous things Villanelle has done but still remains firm in her belief that there is more to more to Villanelle than most people say. Eve finally admitting that a large part of her likes the effect Villanelle has on her and that she can't imagine her future without Villanelle in it????? Just the ROMANCE of it all!!!!

Best episode/scene for a particular supporting character: The scene in 1x07 when Konstatin tricks Villanelle and runs away from her via boat kills me every time for some reason lmao

Best episode/scene for a character I don’t usually like: I don't DISLIKE Niko I just don't really care about him either way. But I lowkey enjoyed every scene where he called Eve out on her obsession with Villanelle and pointed out that it wasn't really about her wanting to be a hero lol

Most visually beautiful or interesting episode/scene: I'm gonna say 1x01 aka 'Nice Face' because of the cinetography. All of the places Villanelle traveled to in that episode were gorgeous.

Most emotionally affecting episode/scene: I don't remember what exact episode it was but that scene in S2 when Eve and Villanelle are standing on either side of a door and just SENSE each other's presence. Chills.

Most powerful use of music in an episode/scene: There are a lot of examples of this because this show is great with how it uses music. I'm gonna say the way 'You have a strange effect on me' played right after Eve and Villanelle's bus tussle and kiss.

Episode/scene that changed my perspective on the show: Again, the bridge scene in 3x08. It was what finally got me on the soft Villaneve train lol. Before S3 I shipped them strictly as a dark shit. But now I feel like they could be truly happy together in their own dysfunctional way.

Episode/scene where the acting stands out: I know this scene is controversial but the scene in the Roman ruins at the very end of S2. The acting was SO good during that scene and it was super intense.

Overall best-written episode: Honestly probably 'I Have A Thing About Bathrooms' again. I just love that episode a lot okay.

Thanks! :)

#killing eve #anonymous #answered #long post /

[ghostofviperwrites]

Apocalyptic

Requested by anonymous

Pairing: Jay Briscoe/FC

Category: Smut

Warnings: None

42.​“Throw me against the wall, bite me on the neck. Like end of the world break up sex.” Apocalyptic by Halestorm

You furiously slammed the front door of your home as you walked through a smile of sick satisfaction filling your face as you heard it slam into your soon to be ex-boyfriend and his muffled curses flying through the air as it impacted his body.

“Fuckin’ bitch,” Jay Briscoe growled as he entered behind you, glaring dangerously at you as you faced him challengingly.

Cause we’re dysfunctional physical

Always slamming doors

You’re a bitch, throwing fits

Always waging wars

“Don’t you dare call me the bitch. You’re the one throwing tantrums like a two year old because someone dares to buy me a drink.” You shouted. You swore you were done this time. You were so tired of him blowing his lid because someone flirted with you. If he was so worried about guys hitting on you maybe he should stick to your side instead of leaving you to fend for yourself while he drank with his friends.

“Maybe if you didn’t dress like such a slut they wouldn’t think you’re fair game.” Jay snarled back stalking predatorily towards you. You fought to keep your face impassive, to not let him know how much it turned you on when he stalked you like prey. Of course he knew. Jay knew exactly what got to you. Knew that no matter how you fought and screamed, you loved his animalistic possessiveness.

“You like it when I dress like a slut.” You retorted. “What is it you say? Easy access.”

I’ll give you one last night, so make it twisted

Give you one last shot, go on and hit it

Give you one last time to make me miss it

You grunted as he pounced slamming you face into the wall his hand shoving under your skirt and grabbing your pussy while his teeth sunk into your neck. You put up a show of struggling against him, cursing Jay as he pushed your dress up over your hips with his free hand and slapped your ass roughly. You hissed at the sting while simultaneously pressing your ass back, silently asking for more. Jay happily obliged smacking your ass repeatedly until it was covered with red handprints before stepping back and spinning you around to face him.

You smirked challengingly at him, daring Jay to take you like only he knew how. Never one to back down Jay responded aggressively slamming your lips together in a bruising kiss as his knuckles pressed into your pussy relentlessly before ripping your panties off and unbuckling his shorts. As soon as his cock was free Jay slammed it home knocking you back into the wall with the force of it. You moaned loudly as he pounded into you, your nails digging into his back as you dragged them down his skin knowing you were going to be leaving welts, marking him as yours.

“I fucking hate you.” He growled as he pumped away, biting the crook of your neck so hard it almost broke the skin.

“I hate you too.” You returned panting as he fucked you so right digging your nails into his shoulders and making him grunt in pain, bringing a satisfied smile to your lips.

Further words were lost as pleasure overtook both of you, your legs clamping around Jay’s waist as his hand rubbed your pussy as he fucked you, making you slam your eyes shut as pleasure coursed through you when he pinched your clit tightly as he came inside you while you spasmed around him.

Give me a red hand print right across my ass

I’m leaving scratches up and down your back

Throw me against the wall, bite me on my neck

Like end of the world, break-up sex

“You’re still an asshole.” You said as you straightened out your clothes, the anger burnt away with the passion.

“And you’re still a bitch.” Jay responded. “But I love you anyways.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You said rolling your eyes with a smile. “Love you too.”

#jay Briscoe imagine #jay Briscoe fanfic #ring of honor fanfic #Wrestling Fanfic #mywriting #ghostofviperwrites

[kyliwrites]

HELNIK

"I can't believe you don't like Disney movies."

Pairing: Nina x Matthias

Word Count: 2k+

Fluff or Angst?: Fluff

Oneshot?: Yes

Proofread?: No

Unsurprisingly, when Nina suggested a stay-at-home movie night, there was a good deal of discourse about which movies to watch. As usual, everyone had a certain Opinion™ about which Marvel films were trash and which were alright (which dissolved into a debate about Marvel vs. DC; poor Wylan was clueless and shrunk into the sofa when the choruses of “SPIDERMAN!” and “IRON MAN!” grew to a screaming match that became a pillow fight between Inej and Jesper). And most of all, Kaz’s choices were… well, they were a far cry from the general mood Nina had intended to set for the night.

All she’d wanted was a night of peace and relaxation, and maybe to shove everyone else off the sofa to cuddle with Matthias, but no one needed to know that part. The point was, she hadn’t planned on the utter chaos that her friends left in the wake of determining a movie to watch, though she probably should have.

Her entire living room was trashed.

“Did you guys really have to shred my favorite throw pillow?” Nina groaned, flicking a feather off of her sleeve with a pointed glare at Inej. The girl hoarded knives like a madwoman, and Nina had no doubt the mess of stuffing strewn across the navy carpeted floor was her doing.

“I’m sorry,” Inej said, ducking her head sheepishly and looking decidedly unsorry.

“Mmhm, sureeeee you are.” Nina glanced to Jesper, who sat covered in little white wisps of pillow insides. He grimaced and made an attempt at defending his honor, but Wylan spoke first.

“He deserved it. He threw one first,” he said, sounding unbothered by the catastrophe that had befallen Nina's apartment. He smirked at his boyfriend from where he’d curled up a safe distance away from the rough-housing. Kaz, leaning against the wall, raised his brows in dry, contented amusement.

“What!?” Jesper placed a hand on his heart, mock offended. “You wound me, merchling. Aren’t you supposed to jump to my defense? Go on, love, yell, 'He’s not to blame!’”

Satisfaction danced across Inej’s face as she slid off of the sofa and dusted feathers off of her leggings. “You’re the one who insulted Spiderman. You got only what you asked for.”

Matthias huffed out a breathy laugh and strode forward to wrap his arms around Nina. He placed a kiss to the top of her head. “Regardless. I’m sure we can all agree that the best superhero of all time is Thor.”

There had been a time when he would have recoiled at the very thought of such public displays of affection, back when he’d just immigrated to New York, but now it was their trademark. Where Nina and Matthias were, little whispers and giggles followed - bets on when they’d forego common decency and, point blank, start making out.

It never happened - well… not often, anyway. There was that one time when two of her managers had walked in on a somewhat passionate kissing session in the back of the restaurant Nina worked part-time at, but that was a story for another day (and a miracle that she wasn’t fired then and there). She didn’t like to think of Zoya’s disappointed face or Genya’s broad smirk at the moment… regardless of the fact that Zoya’s disappointed face was Zoya’s regular face and Genya always smirked.

Nina leaned back into Matthias’s embrace and smiled up at him with an, “In your dreams, Thunder Thighs” and a grin.

Amused exasperation replaced the sweet smile that had been on his face moments prior. “You’re all uncultured swine. Thor is the best superhero, and that’s that. You can’t change my mind.”

Jesper arched a brow. “That sounds vaguely like an invitation to change your mind. Ever heard of—” Inej smacked him with a pillow.

“You can’t seriously intend to argue yourself into another pillow fight, Jes,” Wylan retorted. He shifted away from Matthias, Inej, and Jesper, ever the pacifist.

Actually, that was a lie. He had once shoved Kuwei Yul-Bo into a garbage can on Broadway Street when he asked Jesper on a date—coincidentally, it was while Wylan and Jesper were on the way to see Kinky Boots. On a date.

Wylan was by no means a pacifist—it was more that he was currently done with everyone's shit

Nina sighed, knowing she was going to have to break apart World War III on her own. Kaz was watching them with narrow eyes, humor evident in his wry smile, and Matthias, Inej, and Jesper seemed ready to face off like it was a three-way nineteenth century Russian duel.

“Okay, guys, stop. No superhero is the best—”

All three offenders opened their mouths to object.

“—let’s stop arguing about Marvel and DC and… watch a Disney movie?”

Jesper and Inej closed their mouths, and after a moment, they nodded in reluctant agreement. Wylan beamed, and Kaz merely shrugged. He had a sadistic streak when it came to Disney—cracking jokes when Bambi’s mother died, pointing out continuity errors, essentially ruining their childhoods—the like. Nina had suspected he loved witnessing their discomfort from the moment he had the audacity to laugh at the scene in Pocahontas when John Smith was shot and say, “They died of STDs. Fucking idiots.”

But Matthias had never watched a Disney movie with them before - he was the only ‘yes’ left before they could get on with picking which movie (another battle to be waged later).

When Nina turned to gauge his reaction, a look of pure disgust and confusion was etched on his face. Disbelief sprouted across her own.

“Matthias… don’t tell me. You’ve never seen a Disney movie? What kind of household did you grow upon?”

He frowned. “We didn’t have Disney movies. My family does not support the company.” Nina caught her friends' gazes as they all rolled their eyes simultaneously.

“Let me guess, you were put to work the second you could lift your refrigerator at the tender age or six months,” Jesper drawled, leaning back on the sofa.

“I could not lift my fridge at the tender age of six.”

“Ohh, right. Your parents never taught you what a joke is. You have my sincere apologies, Thunder Thighs."

“Matthias,” Matthias corrected, but before this debate could get out of hand, Nina flung her arms out and shouted, “Well, this has been great and all, but is anyone concerned that Matthias has never, not once, seen a Disney movie?”

“No offense, but it’s not exactly on my bucket list, love.” Matthias brushed a strand of copper hair out of her eyes.

“Well, now it is on my bucket list to get you to watch a Disney movie. Oh, I’ve got it! Hercules. Since you’re the classics major.”

No one offered any objections, aside from an attempt from Matthias that was quickly silenced by a kiss on the lips from Nina that left him red-faced and speechless.

And thus, five minutes later, the lights had been flicked off and all (most) of the couples were not-so-discreetly cuddling. Inej and Kaz were… sort of sitting together underneath a hand-woven blanket, but that was as close as it got with those two. Nina counted it as a silent victory.

Wylan and Jesper were literally just spooning, and Nina’s head was in Matthias’s lap as the sounds of sweet mythological-themed jazz filled her ears. Bless these powerful African-American ladies for their roles as the Muses.

The peace didn’t last, of course, because their group was undeniably the most dysfunctional gang ever to exist.

"Hercules? You mean Hunkules!”

“That was the worst joke I have ever heard,” Matthias growled, making a face.

“Shhh, you oaf, you have to listen to the story.” Nina swatted his chin affectionately.

“I don’t want to listen to the story,” he insisted, rubbing at his stubble where he’d been Swatted. “I know it already. I’m majoring in classics.”

“Sh! Save it for later.”

He obeyed with an uneffected roll of his eyes.

She was surprised he’d managed to keep his biting remarks to himself throughout the introduction, but it wasn’t too much of a shocker when he started at Hades’s appearance on screen.

“That is not Hades. Tell me that’s not supposed to be Hades.”

“It’s supposed to be Hades.”

“That is wrong!”

“It’s a kids’ movie and he’s the villain, of course he looks wrong. Now shut up and watch it.”

Matthias let out a beleaguered sigh and cast his gaze back toward the television screen.

Most of the movie progressed uneventfully from that point onward, but during the ending, Matthias sucked in a breath and Nina just knew he was going to rant about the inaccuracy of a children’s movie and Greek myths for a solid twelve and a half minutes.

“First of all, why was Hades portrayed so *horrendously?*”

“You laughed at his jokes.”

“I laughed because they were stupid. But why was he so- so-”

“Gay?” Nina suggested with a wriggle of her brows.

Matthias’s neck was red with the determination of a man who was not going to back down from a fight. “Yes? Well…” He considered it for a moment. “No, that part was actually spot-on. All of the Greek deities were tragically bisexual—”

“Can I get a pin that says that? ‘Tragically bisexual?’” Jesper laughed.

“Make it yourself,” Matthias retorted and returned to his rant. If Nina was being honest, she tuned him out after the words, “scrawny golden white boy" were uttered, opting instead to watch his entire face move with his mouth.

It was addicting, seeing his eyes alight with passion and flare. He seemed so relentless, so full of emotion that he was bursting at the seams with it, and it was a relaxing change to what Nina was accustomed to seeing… the frigid, daunting mask of stoicism he wore around everyone else. It was why she’d fallen in love with him in the first place. He was strong, well-mannered, but most of all, he had conviction in his beliefs, a fire behind his ice that melted it into water—even if he hadn't always clung to the... correct... beliefs. He hadn't always been so open-minded.

She liked to believe that she'd somehow changed him, that the goodness in his heart had been stirred into awakening by her hand. That she'd made him a better man. That she'd taught him to love her as an equal. She liked to imagine that one day they might return to his family and spread what he'd learned. The Helvars were good people deep down, but uneducated in the ways that mattered—in the emotions and hardships of those less fortunate than them. They had prejudices of their own that Nina dreamed of helping them overcome... and some people had prejudices against them she wished to eliminate. Maybe these were the foolish ramblings of an optimist, but she had her hopes, and if they worked together they might overcome the biases of the world.

Nina cursed herself. Oh, this heart of hers. She was getting sappy in the midst of an argument about Disney.

“For God’s sake, Matthias,” Jesper was saying when she finally tuned back in, as exasperated as ever. “It’s Disney.”

“That’s precisely the problem." Matthias’s eyebrows were knit together. "Children are being educated wrong! All of them will grow up having learned the myth incorrectly. Do you know how difficult it is to relearn a topic after years of—"

Jesper cut in with an, "Okay, I can’t sit here and listen to this anymore. I’m leaving.” Wylan made a noise of protest, clearly unwilling to be deprived of the warmth of his boyfriend’s arms, but Jesper tugged the blanket away and started to rise.

Nina, chuckling fondly, gestured to the door. “Then get out of our apartment. I’ve got classes and work tomorrow, and I’m not staying up any later than this. Besides, Matthias needs his beauty sleep.”

“Alright, alright,” Jesper grumbled, slinging an arm around Wylan as they took their leave.

Matthias poked her chest with an affectionate glare. “My beauty sleep? Isn’t that what you need?”

“No, because I”—she prodded him right back—”am already stunning, thank you very much.”

Matthias’s teasing expression fell, and was replaced with something kinder, softer. “I know. You, Nina Zenik, are the most stunning, gorgeous, beautiful—ridiculously beautiful, might I add—”

Nina grew flustered.

"Obviously," she said, though her cheeks were pink, and she pushed him gently.

Matthias was undeterred. He was gazing at her with depthless tenderness. “—most amazing, talented”—at this, Nina snorted—”woman I know.”

An awkward clearing of the throat interrupted Nina before she could even reply to that.

Kaz. Oh shit, she thought.

“Oh shit," she said.

“If you could take that elsewhere, that would be just stellar,” Kaz whispered.

“No, why don’t you leave my house? And why are you whisper—oh.”

Inej had lain her head on Kaz’s shoulder and was out like a light.

“Yes, oh.” Kaz scowled, shooing them away. “I don’t intend to move, because this one sleeps about as often as I do. Now go cuddle elsewhere.”

“Kicking me out of my own living room? Brekker, you’re a riot.”

“Fuck off, Zenik.”

Nina snickered and Matthias whisked her away with a firm glare at Kaz. He practically carried her towards their bedroom, ignoring her giggles and protests, and kissed her sweetly before drawing the covers over her shoulders.

“So how did you really feel about the Disney movie?” She asked when they were both comfortably snuggled beneath the comforter.

Matthias groaned. “It’s midnight, Nina.”

“Answers, Helvar. I demand them.”

There was a pregnant stretch of silence, and just when Nina was sure he wasn’t going to answer, he said, “...It was inaccurate and a mistake was made by ever producing it, but… it was alright.”

She let out a whoop of victory at which Matthias rolled his eyes and turned on his side.

“I win!” Nina cawed, drawing him back towards her. “Ha!”

“Oh, lovely. You’ll be insufferable now.”

“You love me, though.” Nina kissed the back of his head, content to breathe in the scent of him as she buried her nose in the crook of his neck.

“That I do. I most definitely do.”

“Good,” she murmured. “Because I love you, too.”

#helnik #matthias helvar #nina zenik #kanej #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #wesper #jesper x wylan #wylan x jesper #nina x matthias #matthias x nina #leigh bardugo #leigh bardugo books #six of crows #soc #crooked kingdom #ck #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #grishaverse #disney #not beta read #old #kaz x inej #inej x kaz #fanfiction #grishaverse fanfic #fanfic

[wishfell]

best picture nominees (2018) aesthetics.

the shape of water.  early mornings.  art on an easel.  being trapped.  flashy cars.  self-righteous intolerance.  speaking volumes without a word.  being submerged.  learning and adapting.  raindrops on windows.  bubbles rising in water.  cats.  taboo desires.  tanks of water.  kitschy nostalgia.  kissing underwater.  silence.  isolation.  golden age hollywood.   sign language.   scales.  egg shells.  jell-o.  the smell of cleaning supplies.  creature features.  the space race.  red coats.  monstrous fairy tales.  lab coats.  lunches in brown bags.  the click of shoes.  smog.  dance routines.  slices of pie.  toxic masculinity.  chains.  government secrets.  seeing past flaws.  floating aimlessly.  needles.  greens and blues.  deep, inexorable scars.  gills.  music from the 30′s.  retro-futurism.  bloody handprints.  routines.  record players.  old movies.  love in unexpected places.

phantom thread.  a doll in a gilded birdcage.   butter to bread.  the death of a mother.  cycles.  hidden messages.  a disruptive presence.  longing.  wedding gowns.  posh control.  post-war.  brightly colored socks.  inner turmoil.  poison.  an air of quiet death.  hallucinations.  family dysfunction.  rich fabrics.  curses.  soft piano music.   restrained anger.  spinning out of control.  artist and muse.  dark love.  pastels.  peace in the countryside.  clockwork dynamics.  perfection.  wild mushrooms.  giving up every piece of yourself.  rags to riches.  ghosts.  new year’s.  lingering gazes.  needle and thread.  fine dining.  hearing every sound.  being ambushed.  ego.  flowing dresses.  a person out of place.  defiance.  ink to paper.  an artist tortured by their art.  obsessive personalities.  peepholes.  soothing elegance.  silk.  spiral staircases.  driving at high speeds.  high society.

the post.  typewriters.  newspapers.  tense climates.  distrust of authority.  internal battles.   a legacy at stake.  secrets.  cover-ups.  defending what you believe.  peering through windows.  melodrama.  political corruption.  behind closed doors.  sniffing a scoop.  ringing phones.  lying for over a decade.  cramming and crowding.  cold grays.  war.  fluorescent lights.  treason.  shuffled papers.  the jungle.   a weight on your shoulders.  fresh coffee.  thousands of deaths.  burglary.  finding your voice.  risking everything.  propaganda. tough choices.  exposure.  type being set by hand.  workplace rivalries.  abuses of power.  security breaches.  hierarchy.  a bed strewn with papers and books.  paranoia.  orders.  clicking keys.  redacted files.  desk clutter.  cigarette smoke.  precious cargo.  vanished technologies.  suspenseful conversations.  facing charges.  courtroom battles.  suits and ties.

darkest hour.  never surrendering.  duty.  countless negotiations.  the flash of cameras.  beaches. historic buildings.  guzzling booze.  resignation.  utter catastrophe.  bunkers.  radio broadcasts.  going against the odds.  bathed in red light.  a sense of humor.  allies.  shouting matches.  small square windows.  selfishness.  walking with a cane.  war rooms.  chandeliers.   dust floating in air.  righteousness.  a poor reputation.  an elevator surrounded by darkness.  a world at war.  needing a miracle.  interruptions.  a last hope.  cigar smoke.  quoting poetry.  photos of a loved one.  a single sunbeam.  monarchy.  vanity.  rescue missions.  refusing peace.  pallid chambers.  military uniforms.  taking a stand.  common folk.   suicide missions.  drums of war.  tears down sullen cheeks.  reluctance.  complete collapse.  evacuations.  enveloped by fog.  changing history.  blood, toil, tears and sweat.

three billboards outside ebbing, missouri.   severe burns.  police uniforms.  sirens.  the calmness of a deer.  strumming guitars.  grieving.  horrifying memories.  sucker punches.  a lack of respect.  facing threats.  skin under fingernails.  flicking cigarettes.  awkward dates.  nasty rumors. claustrophobia.  lush green pastures.  molotov cocktails.  the fire of anger and revenge.  strangers.  no remorse.  bashing in windows.  the midwest.  provoking a fight.  pointing fingers.  being pressed for time.  rundown old houses.  grey morality.  dark undercurrents.  insurmountable losses.  cruel laughs.  the american flag.  dive bars. guilty no matter what.   buildings in flames.  ambulances.  coughing up blood.  spitting.  chewing on fingernails.  one versus many.  black and red.  not understanding another’s feelings.   a mother and child.  the pain of others. a quest of justice.  abandoned billboards.  a hardened gaze.  driving to nowhere.  small towns.  last letters.  absurd violence.

dunkirk.  burying a body.  warm cider.  narrow escapes.  a race against time.  a small boat.  all hope lost.  being unable to come home.  taken prisoner.  shipwrecks.  assuming the identity of someone else.  setting fire to it all.  smoke rising from a crash.  sea foam.  seaports.  rendered blind.  dropping to take cover.  land, sea, and air.  entangled in chain.  toast with jam.   suspense.  waiting for escape.  wounded men.  lying in the sand.  trauma.   blank spaces.   sinking ships.  commended a hero.  cocking a gun.  swallowed by darkness.  bullet holes.  obstacles and delays.  a hero’s welcome.  planes overhead.   the sounds of a ticking clock.   bullets ricocheting off metal.  people by the thousands.  shell-shocked.  the explosions of shells on shores.  the sound of destruction.  rising tides.  head injuries.  target practice.  compressed time and space.  the perennial threat of death.  oil ignited into flames.  lying for the greater good.  blocking out the noise.  primal dangers.  taking command.  sole survivor.

get out.   deer antlers.  suburbs.  hypnosis.  strange behavior.  familial tension.  chopping wood.  uneasy stares.  tears and a smile.  deception.  fight or flight.  blindness.  survival.  sinking into the floor.  watching but powerless.  strapped to a chair.  plugged ears.  a failed handshake.  car accidents.  sunken places.  something out of a nightmare.  going hysterical.  bingo cards.  smoking cigarettes.  static on a television set.  doing more harm than good.  a hint of a smile.  a stranger in any environment that is foreign to them.  waiting for someone to come when they never will.   overturned candles.  wealthy garden parties.  constantly looking over your shoulder.  silence no matter how hard you scream.  trances.  catharsis.  a battle of wills.  layers being peeled back.  a cup of tea. nosebleeds.  addiction.  last bits of life leaving a body.  black and white photography.  sprinting at high speeds. conspiracies.  surgery.  blankly polite speech.  noise of a spoon scraping across a teacup.   a deer in headlights. staring at your own reflection.  unable to sleep.  loyal friends.

lady bird.  california landscapes.  budding romance.  uniforms.  consolation.  plain and luscious colors.  apologizing.   boorish sex.  prom dresses.  secondhand dresses.  strong personalities.  the theatre.  being simultaneously warm and scary.  battling depression.  90’s fashion.  dreaming of elsewhere.  partying.  signatures on a cast.  living on the wrong side of the tracks.  not being bound by any era.  rejection.  sparklers.  thrift stores.  high school.  identity crisis.  a place that looks like a memory.  going behind backs.  disappointed parents.  catholicism.  poverty.  busy new york city streets.  monotonous hometowns.  shitty bands.  teenage anarchy.  drifting in and out of friendships.   menial jobs.  red hair.  self-given names.  coming-of-age.  a broken arm.  excessive drinking.  first kisses.  cupcakes.  smudged eye makeup.  strained relationships.  screaming in the middle of the street.  thoughtful letters.  standing out.  decorated bedroom walls.  having a change of heart. expressing individuality.

TAGGED BY: @conseille ( tysm!! tfw i don’t know more than half of these movies...... orz ) TAGGING: @rousseure​, @megane-samurai​, @ikiruwill​, @pasttorn​, @benosuke​, @eiikyuu

#★ * ⋮ 沢村 EIJUN. ╱ character study. #long post /

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs One Tree Hill S1

No matter how many times I watch the pilot I consistently forget that Nathan and Peyton used to date

“Don’t bother showering tonight” is that really your come-on Peyton I will never understand sports

Lmao @ Nathan and Peyton “OTP: Distracted Driving”

“You’re despicable, you know that,” said Dan, a literal future murderer

I’m always so thrown when ppl in shows start drinking at their workplaces like what kind of bold behaviour Whitey you work at a high school

“What are you wasting your time at now?” Nathan ur a terrible boyfriend

“I say that the people who pray here are wasting their time. God doesn’t watch sports” I know Lucas is pretentious as all hell but this is my favourite line in any sports show ever

Karen is such a good mom ahhhhh like she just wants Lucas to be happy and she knows he’ll put other people’s happiness first 

Dan calling Lucas ‘this kid’ like he’s not his wholeass son what a dick

It’s not lost on me that Keith telling Lucas stories about his father means that it’s Lucas’s grandfather Keith Scott is truly the only dad in this show who matters

“So why’d you just tell me all that” because he loves to monologue

“If I could [change the fact that Lucas exists], I would” Dan answer your door I need to send you a very rude telegram

I am in love with Moira Kelly and also I want Karen to punch Dan

The music of this show is really.... transcendent 

Djhfkjhfkjh since Lucas is implied to have like, five friends.... is that crowd of supporters hugging him just a bunch of people who think Nathan is a dick

I admire Lucas for deciding he was gonna put up with all this bullshit to do something he loves

Omg I forgot that Brooke wasn’t in the pilot she’s such a major character

“Nice hands” “Nice legs” Emo flirting in a jock setting lmaooooo

My inner 2007 angst awakens every time I hear Gavin Degraw. He is THAT bitch

“You ever think I might want to talk” Peyton and Nathan’s relationship is truly nothing but blind horniness they have nothing in common at all in this juncture of their lives

“I didn’t invite you to come in, I just asked if you wanted to” Peyton is so weird but I kind of want to marry her. Is this what Lucas feels like

Lucas’s economic status is really part of Brooke’s romance criteria at the age of 17 they teach the bourgeois early huh

Oh my god I cannot BELIEVE Jake recommended Atlas Shrugged to Lucas jhjhgjhgjh the undertones of this basketball show really are about capitalism

HAHAHAH Nathan’s word being “revenge” calm down Sasuke Uchiha

I haven’t said so yet but Haley is so very endearing she’s great

God. Lucas turning around to reveal to Dan that he’s cast away his name. HE is that bitch

Ghjkghjkgh Keith hissing at the rude Boosters mum. Love of my life

“Maybe he’s gay” “No, I think he’s just nice” who writes this dumbass show

“Do you even care that it’s slipping away” maybe it’s because I went away for university but the idea that someone is this deeply invested in their kid’s high school basketball career is. A lot

Nathan simultaneously trying to bother Lucas and pass English while about to fall in love: I can multitask!!!

Update: He also managed to trash Lucas’s favourite basketball court somehow in all his business. He really can multitask!

“If it makes you feel any better I called some woman a bitch the other day” [giggle] I love Karen and Lucas’s relationship

Haley is such a good friend to Lucas and hoo boy Nathan when do you grow a conscience

“You’re both so broody. You could brood together” that’s it, that’s Peyton and Lucas

These emails and VCR references are really dating this show

Nathan is a straight up sociopath in these early eps my god he humiliates Lucas publicly twice at this party and just pops over to Haley like “Hey cutie :) Idk why Lucas is so mad :) I’m rlly nice :)”

Nathan really taking his girlfriend’s car to hit on another woman how much of a crapbag

As soon as I said this he (drunk?) drove her car into a streetlight my god 

Deb and Karen having a nice lesbian coffee shop AU would be a pleasant turn in this show instead of literally anything that happens in either of their narratives

“Why would you even go there” “Because I loved getting dumped on” That is... accurate

“I’ll call you when you’re not so PMS” said Nathan, when his (ex) girlfriend rightfully lambasted him for crashing her car

I take it back Peyton and Nathan do have one thing in common it’s their disregard for traffic laws

HELL YEAH Keith IS your dad Lucas <3 <3 <3 <3 

Whitey talks a lot of shit for someone who advised Dan to abandon Luke 

I had been wondering why Lucas had the Scott name when Dan is such an ephemeral piece of shit and I guess there’s my answer thanks Karen 

Does Haley ever find out about the shit Nathan pulled at the party I feel like these are relevant details in her budding affection

“Dad send you to spy on me? Poison my drink?” This is the second time in two episodes Deb has been accused of being Dan’s spy I wonder if she still considers that a red flag 17 years into marriage

“One of the boys doesn’t have a father” BUUUUURN Dan

Rhkgjhgjkh the last moment of this scene:

Keith: There is enough room in my heart for each of my brother’s mistreated sons even the rude ones Nathan

Nathan, experiencing a split second of paternal love: :O

Ghkjghkjgh the Scott bonding in hatred of Dan continues with Lucas asking Nathan if he too would like to spite Dan:

Lucas: You will be receiving your “I Hate Dan Scott” Club invitation in the mail shortly Nathan, mom, Uncle Keith and I hold meetings biweekly

Nathan: Biweekly as in every two weeks or twice a week 

Lucas: Both! See you on Tuesday

“Does this mean we’re dating” yes it does the mixed CD is emo code

“Good luck with your game” “yeah, you too, Ma” hehehehe

Someone revoke this college medic’s license hoo boy

Ghjghkgh Lucas keeping his money tucked into his boxers what a doofus

I can’t believe Nathan and Lucas’s second big bonding moment is threatening dudes while in their boxers after beating on each other what a brotherly bond lmao

Okay but highkey if ur a lady and ur friends are gonna leave you alone and vulnerable at night get new friends

“I can live without my shirt” Nathan is thirteen shades of petty lmaooo

Dan is such a bad (abusive) father that Nathan literally would prefer to have none at all my god 

“Can I tell you a secret? I pretended too” just get marrrried 

“Thanks for cutting Lucas some slack” talk about accepting the bare minimum Haley kjhgkjhgkj

Brooke is really unbearable in this episode is it any wonder her, Lucas and Peyton’s relationship is as dysfunctional as it will soon become 

Hoo boy the one (1) time Nathan doesn’t do something douchey and he gets blamed for it 

LMAO @ Lucas approaching the one girl at this school with commitment issues with a bold “I wanna be here [in your heart]” hahaha

“Yeah, they can have their world,” said Lucas to Haley, about the two people they would literally go on to marry

The fact that Peyton doesn’t turn off her webcam and just covers it also really speaks to the era

This Gabe dude is really ready to assault a minor like he’s not just a r*pist he’s also a predator double KO 

It is not lost upon me that it looks like one pill has been popped out before so he is also a serial r*pist big fucking yikes

“What, you got a cellphone too, dawg? Things sure have changed” also quite dated hahahaha

They really went out of the way to redeem Brooke not only did she give Nathan and Haley a very very cute date she also saved her friend from being assaulted

“So you don’t have any brothers, do you” jhgkhgkhg Brooke please 

“Why are you only nice to me when we’re alone” a very legitimate question Haley

Nathan’s dating methodology: There’s nothing in life that can’t be solved with make-outs

Deb is really so nice but every time I look at her I think of her drinking a lot and sleeping with Nathan’s friends lmao

Haha that North Carolina sign explains the mild Southern accents 

Aieeeeeeeeeee you kiss that man and follow your dreams Karen

Even if Nathan is still A Lot this season him and Haley are so cute:

Haley, smiling: We can’t do this here right now

Nathan, giggling: We just did

Lucas says more to Dan by constantly leaving with a look of disgust than any words ever could

“My heart’s racing too. That’s what happens when I’m around you. (And on drugs. I’m very unstable Haley.)”

Lucas and Nathan’s very intentional “pressure from your dad” and “you don’t know anything about my dad” bc Lucas will not acknowledge that Senor Crabag Sr. is anything resembling a father bless 

Drunk tattoos with crush’s bff Lucas has decided to make all mistakes at once and I respect it

Poor Keith he is trying his best but Lucas just chose this week to hit his rebellious phase

YESSSSSSSSSS DEB KICK THAT ASS OUT OF THIS HOUSE

“Do you really think that Nathan would choose you over me” uh???? Are you not aware you are... the worst father in town

Brooke you were fully aware of Peyton and Lucas’s vibing and actively pursued him/interfered so you have no moral high ground to be like “:) I’d never choose a boy over my friendship”

Skillz and Mouth accurate “hoo boy don’t look” when ur friends start PDA

“Mom doesn’t want things to get back to normal, she wants them to be better” hell yeah Nathan gaining emotional intelligence

Lucas quit projecting your childhood issues onto Jake he too is a child let him decide how he wants to live Jenny’s 6 months old not like she’s gonna remember lmao

Damn Nathan LET LOOSE on Dan fuck that dude

JGFHJGFJGFJH I forgot Gavin Degraw had a cameo hahahahah

Did Luke.......... break into Jake’s house. His parents work at night how was he able to get into Jake’s coffee table

“You do not have to feel like a third wheel” The pure dumbass energy.... Peyton is literally CRYING do u really think her issue is “third wheel” you KNOW she and Lucas had a thing Brooke???????

Me watching this team form a brotherly bond over their mutual love of basketball: Mayhaps sports are... good 

Hahahaha Lucas threatening Peyton’s dad with a rake is weirdly endearing

“Hey you.” “Hey you, and you,” is a good summary of this seasons Brooke/Lucas/Peyton dynamic lmao

Why is Dan’s head... shaped that away. It is like a bar of soap

“I don’t mind you playing ‘Daddy’ to one of my offspring, but leave the good one alone, will you?” Dan. Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot at midnight and we’ll have words

“The whole Nice Guy thing is wearing kind of thin” foreshadowing for all the dick moves Lucas is about to pull lmao

“He’s got you skipping school now?” “Lucas talk to me when you get your tattoo removed”

Lucas:

Lucas is such a meddler lmao how many family dynamics is he going to alter

I don’t trust Dan being nice for a minute all he wants is the upper hand with Deb in the inevitable custody battle over Nathan

Props to Nathan and Haley for somehow, some way, being the only normal couple on this show despite their incredibly dubious origins lmao

Scott family dinners are bananas I count four (4) major revelations and they haven’t even revealed that Deb and Dan are separated

Lucas and Peyton are really hitting every fictional couple trope in this ep - road trip, bed sharing, hurt/comfort, truly the YA bases 

“The truth? In this house?” Props to Deb for drama lmao 

Brooke saying ‘I love you’ you’ve been dating for like two episodes but okay kjhgkjhg

I can’t say I understand Nathan’s logic lmao but I guess they have to bring him back to basketball sometime

Wow Lucas zero hesitation on that second kiss lmao u r a mess

This scene is the definition of “that escalated quickly” they go straight to undressing 

HAHAHAH NATHAN BEING SHIRTLESS IN HALEY’S DREAM FOR NO REASON 10/10 TEENAGE ACCURACY

“How do you explain being with me and not her?” “Because with you, I saw a future” that’s Dan code for ‘I’m a gold digger’

You’re literally macking on Peyton in the middle of the hallway while you’re dating the other most popular girl in school Lucas how are you this ridiculous and bold BREAK UP WITH BROOKE U DUMBASS

“So what are we going to do” I’ll tell you what you should do BREAK UP WITH BROOKE

Keith it is still daylight out stop bringing alcohol into this high school you have a drinking problem

“Can’t control love, you know?” THAT’S NOT ADVICE LUCAS BREAK UP WITH BROOKE

I really can’t handle watching Keith and Lucas self-destruct this episode how is Nathan the only Scott in a happy, healthy relationship

“You know that this is... wrong, so that makes it feel... deeper?” Lucas asks, as if he were not entirely in the wrong by carrying on with Peyton (who is not in a relationship) while dating Brooke

“I don’t want to hurt Brooke,” he said, about to start his third secret cheating makeout session of the week

“But then again our spouses aren’t here are they” [Deb opens door] COMEDIC TIMING

Gjjhgkjhg Nathan revealing his messed up intentions with Haley entirely by accident Scotts have no self-control whatsoever it’s their kekkei genkai

Lucas evading responsibility for his romance crimes by literally dying

Hahahah Karen’s confused vibes at Brooke are kind of the highlight of this episode 

How funny would it be if Lucas woke up to Karen scolding him about his tattoo

Hahahaha for such dysfunctional partners Nathan and Peyton are excellent exes 

AHHHHHHHHH LUCAS WAKING UP TO HIS BROTHER... MY HEART

Keith rlly was gonna propose after zero (0) days of dating I’m telling you no self-control is truly the Scott clan kekkei genkai

Ahhhh bless Karen’s compassion 

Dan is literally blackmailing his son into staying in his custody he is in Deb’s words an “abusive son of a bitch”

Fucking finally Lucas ends this sham of a relationship with Brooke

It’s wild that Nathan is the only Scott with a happy and healthy romantic relationship 

Nathan divorcing his parents is a real power move 

I’m glad Haley announced Sheryl Crow’s name because let me tell you I would not have recognized her on sight

“How’s my daughter” Lucas really chooses exclusively to hook up with people who have devastating emotional consequences for his immediate friend group huh

“Funny I didn’t know you were forgiving at all” Lmao Peyton is that really the position you’re going to take after cheating with your best friend’s boyfriend 

All the deodorant product placement lmao ‘this ep sponsored by Secret’ 

All things considered I think Lucas is handling Haley’s constant ditching p well 

Bfhkghghjg Keith buying a new shirt just to go to dinner with Karen stop

OH MY GOD THE EP REALLY WAS SPONSORED BY SECRET IT’S GOT SECRET ON THE CHEER COMPETITION BANNERS AND A LITTLE GIFT BAG RANDOMLY IN ALL THE CHEERLEADER CONFRONTATIONS JKGHKJGH

The comedic timing of “hungover idiots” panning to Karen and Larry kills me

“She used to be this totally original.... Haley” what does this mean????

I don’t think Nathan and Haley are being entirely fair to Lucas bc he was only a dick once she ditched him twice (or thrice?) in one weekend 

This boy toy auction as a concept is so inappropriate on so many levels

“I get Nathan for free” Fhjkfhkfjh Haley pls

God I was so very concerned about whether or not Nathan and Peyton were gonna kiss 

“You’re not a mess, you’re just in love” [Ole Del Paso Girl voice] Why not both?

“She’s nine months old, just in case you forgot” to be fair I assume Nikki gave birth so she would remember that you can’t hold that one over her 

It must take Lucas some mental disconnect to assume Peyton and Nathan are cheating when he also kissed Haley

Fhjfhkjfhjfh Keith fulfilling my fave trope of ‘we are not even dating but how about we get married bc we’ve been repressed in love for years’

“You know I asked your mom to get an abortion,” said Dan, to his literal son

I really can’t figure where this pregnancy storyline is going bc I know Brooke doesn’t have a baby

Nathan and Haley really need to consider oral or smth there’s a middle ground between making out and having vaginal sex

“It all hurts just the same” Brooke really out here trying to say that cheating is in any way equivalent to faking a pregnancy (even if only for a week)

Peyton and Brooke are way more invested in each other than Lucas 

“I got you a high five” Hahahhaa I love Peyton 

Gary like: Wow Nathan it’s humanizing that your father is an abusive dick

“Maybe this is the one that changed him” Lucas joining Dan as the second and only non-Dan member of the Dan Scott Apologism Club

It’s wholly unreasonable that Haley expects her boyfriend not to look at p*rn lmao

I love all this Lucas and Nathan bonding but I hate that it comes at the cost of Dan being near them at all u stay away from those boys u manipulative fuck

Ah the foreshadowing about Peyton changing in front of her webcam finally pays off

I’m no legal expert but I don’t think that taking your daughter out of state will help you in the custody battle in the long term Jake - nor will dropping out of high school

“What do I get out of it” r u 4 real Keith u dont get payment for loving your family

“I’m leaving because I can’t look at you anymore without my heart breaking” I like you Keith but that sounds like a You Problem

This is a fun way to shoot this episode One Tree Hill has such good directing tbh

Nathan discarding the Scott name from his jersey just like Lucas did in ep 2: 

Haley: Having sex will solve all of my problems Nathan what are you talking about

I remembered that at some point Deb and Keith have sex and I’m glad they fuck things up early bc I could not deal if it was later on

“I’ll miss you too, little brother” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

KJKGHKJHGJHKJHGKJHKJ I CAN’T BELIEVE NATHAN AND HALEY GOT MARRIED JUST TO HAVE SEX THIS IS WHY THEY DON’T LET PEOPLE YOUNGER THAN 18 VOTE

#ayesha says things #ayesha liveblogs oth #liveblogging #long post #a very long post lmao #one tree hill #this is the kind of content i make now lol

[arcanesupern0va]

Rick In The Water; Ch6: Do You Feel It

Summary: Oh shit, we gon' meet Unity. (I had to, come on now.) Also, there's some other stuff, the whole chapter isn't Unity shenanigans, I'm basically using her. OHWELL.

A/N:  T H I N G S A R E S T A R T I N G T O G E T S M U T T Y We don't get far, yet, but I couldn't let Faux Rick be the only one to get a piece of Nova. ;D Oh, I think it goes without saying this fic regards canon more along the lines of: "Oh, that's a nice storyline you got there, mind if I just.... take it and rework it for my own silly needs?" I mean, I referenced the pilot and then Morty going to the citadel and COMPLETELY skipped over Rick Potion Number 9. But That's not to say it'll never come back. 😎 CW: Drug use, for sure. Pairing: Rick Sanchez/Reader Word Count: 5564

My ao3

Masterlist

|Ch5: I Wanna Be Yours|

Waking up in the Smith house was bizarre. It had been years since I’d had the pleasure, but these days things were a lot different. I woke up most mornings to Summer flipping through channels while simultaneously nose deep in her phone, most likely already texting Madison. She would always apologize when the volume woke me up, but still every morning the volume would inch up until sleep was impossible. The days would be spent hanging out with Beth if she was free or Rick if he wasn’t being completely moody, which was happening more often than not lately. He assured me he wasn’t upset with me for doing what I had to do to get away from the Rick that kidnapped me, but now and then I would catch him giving me that same unreadable look he gave me the first night I got here.

Another morning, another loud MTV reality show, and I was at my wit's end. I rolled over to give Summer a piece of my mind only to find Rick intently focused on whatever dating show rerun was on.

“The fuck are you watching?” I grumbled, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

“Oh good, you’re awake,” he said, flicking the screen off and standing up. “We’ve got shit to do today in the Blickblarten System.” He disappeared to his garage, Summer replacing him.

“Oh thank god,” she mumbled, plopping back down in her usual place now that Rick had vacated it. She flipped the TV back on, the brazen tones coming from it propelling me from the couch to continue waking up in peace. As I did my business in the bathroom, I flipped through messages from Madi. She was surprisingly silent on the separation front but I suspected that had to do with the fact she was a smart girl. She knew that things at home weren’t… right. Not that she had the best marriage role models between Beth and I. Beth and Jerry weren’t quite as dysfunctional as Ryan and I, but she was still struggling in her own ways. I wished there was something I could do to help her, but short of leaving her husband as well, I was fresh out of good ideas.

An urgent knock on the bathroom door broke me out of my reverie as Rick started shouting on the other side. “Nova, what the fuck, we have shit to do!” He already sounded frustrated so I finished up, flushing the toilet as I flung the door open, hoping to match his frustration. He glared down at me, but his defense quickly crumbled as that unreadable look reemerged. “C-Come on, let's just go already,” he growled, turning away.

“I’m not dressed,” I shouted after him, heading to Jerry’s office to grab my clothes. Beth may have conceded to let me sleep on her couch, but she insisted I let her keep my things somewhere more private. He huffed, leaning against the wall to wait for me. His attitude was starting to get to me this morning, so I took extra care to take just a little bit longer picking out something to wear.

“We-We’re not going to a fucking ball- just pick something and let's go-” he yelled as he barged in impatiently. Still in my underwear and bra, instead of getting embarrassed, I wanted to test the waters after everything that had happened. I stared at him intently as I bent over, picking up my shirt slowly. He watched carefully as I pulled it over my head, pulling it down very slowly to cover the top half of my body. The look he gave me was a little more readable, shifting from the frustration from earlier to one of astonishment. He turned away, his cheeks redder than I’d ever seen them. My attempt to elicit a reaction from him successful, I finished getting ready, pulling on my yoga pants and running shoes and meeting him at the door. He didn’t say a word as he led me to the garage and it seemed, to my dismay, that his frustration had returned, as he climbed into his ship and slammed the door behind him.

“You know, you can’t expect me to just wake up and be ready to go just because you are,” I scolded him as I opened the passenger side door. Before climbing in, I surveyed the garage, looking for our usual companion on these adventures. “Where’s Morty?” I asked, finally climbing into the passenger seat and looking in the back seat.

“He didn’t want to go,” he told me gruffly with a shrug, starting the engine and flying out of the garage.

“Since when do you accept that kind of response from him?” I questioned cautiously. Morty had little to no choice when it came to going anywhere with his grandfather. Panic started to wash over me as memories of the last time a Rick ushered me out of my home without a Morty anywhere to be seen resurfaced. I quickly pressed the spot on the back of my hand, immediately thinking the worst of the Rick next to me. The alarm started blaring on Rick’s arm, and I let out a sigh of relief.

“Don’t worry, it’s really me,” he sighed, disengaging the alarm and glancing over at me. Space was flying by us, offering no real scenery to lose myself in as we sped through.

“Well, you had me fooled,” I shot back at him, “You’ve been acting really weird Rick. What the hell is up with you?”

“N-Nothing,” he denied unconvincingly. “This is just how I am, get used to it.” My eyes narrowed at him in an instant.

“The fuck do you mean this is just how you are? You weren’t like this before the citadel. I thought we went over this, I was trying to get away from that asshole, I wasn’t into him or whatever,” I snarled at him.

“And I thought I told you I didn’t care about that shit Nova,” Rick countered dismissively. “It fucking sucks, but you had to do what you had to do. I can’t blame you for that.”

“Still sure feels like you are though,” I bit back at him coldly. He didn’t respond, outside of pulling out his flask and taking a long drink. “I wish you would just tell me what the fuck is wrong.”

He turned to consider me a moment, trying to stay angry, but it seemed he couldn’t. That same unreadable goddamn stupid ass fucking look covered his face again and I sighed in frustration, conceding I would get nowhere with him today. I was coming to terms with a silent Rick adventure when he abruptly slammed the gear shift into hover mode and pulled me over to him, pushing his lips onto mine desperately. Stunned at first, I quickly recovered and returned his kiss eagerly.

Oh, that makes more sense.

Wasting no time, I mounted his lap as his hands ran up under the back of my shirt. He was kissing me like it was the only way he was going to keep breathing, and I returned his passion twofold. He moved away from my mouth, kissing down my neck only to be stopped the hem of the t-shirt I was wearing. I groaned in frustration, preparing to lock my fingers around the hem to pull it off when I blinding light filled the cab of the spaceship, accompanied by a shrill alarm.

“Rick, what the fuck is happening?” I screamed as the ship started being pulled upward. He let out a frustrated groan, nudging me to move off of him. He took the craft out of hover and tried to fight the pull of the beam to no avail. I covered my ears against the blaring alarm as we were enveloped by a much larger ship. Rick immediately pulled out his portal gun, ready to cut our losses as a loud, almost sultry voice rang out of a speaker to our left, freezing him in his tracks.

“Hey, Rick.”

*+*

“Goddammit Unity, couldn’t you have just sent out a signal or something? You scared the shit out of us,” Rick yelled at the man that had been sent down to greet us. He was tall, with purple and green reptilian skin, but as he helped me out of the ship I was surprised to find him soft to the touch.

“Who’s this?” the man regarded me coldly, and I swore I heard the jealousy in his tone.

“Unity, this Nova,” Rick introduced us hesitantly. “Nova, this is… Unity. They’re a-a hivemind.”

“A hivemind?” I asked, completely confused. “Like The Faculty?”

“Th-The Faculty?” Rick sputtered. “That’s a really old reference, but I mean, sure, kind of?”

“Nova?” Unity asked hesitantly, “The Nova?”

Rick sighed, looking between the two of us. “Yeah, Une, the Nova.” The man’s eyes lit up, grabbing my hand gleefully.

“Oh, I have heard so much about you,” he squealed, dragging me higher up into the ship, leaving a stunned Rick in our wake. “So he finally went back, did he? How long did it take him to finally talk to you when he got back?” Unity asked eagerly, leading me through a small crowd of his people who all turned to smile knowingly at me.

“I-I don’t know what you mean? I saw him on the first day he was back,” I told him. He brought me to what looked like a captain’s cabin of the enormous ship, leaving me with an admittedly attractive female of his species who sat me down on her large bed.

“That’s great! He used to talk about you constantly-” The Unity female continued the conversation seamlessly before Rick barged through the door.

“N-No, Une, stop. D-Don’t- j-just stop talking- to her,” he begged the woman, glaring up at him.

“I will do no such thing, Rick Sanchez,” she chastised him, “I had to listen to you babble about her every night when you got drunk off your ass, so I deserve the chance to actually get to know her. I will give you one thing, she is absolutely gorgeous.” I blushed at the woman’s kind words, smiling meekly up at Rick.

“W-We were in the middle of s-something you know, wh-when you interrupted.” His eyes flitted to me desperately, but I had no help I could offer him. I was too curious about Unity. “You could’ve sent out a friendly message or something.” He was getting more and more flustered by the minute, trying his hardest to stop any conversation between Unity and me.

“I did Rick, you didn’t answer,” she said, furrowing her brow, “I wasn’t even sure it was you so I figured it was either you or a new member of my family. Win-Win. But I definitely wasn’t expecting her.” Unity eyed me again, seeming to want to commit me to memory.

“Y-Yeah, well you’ve met her,” Rick smiled hesitantly. “N-Now come on Nova, we have to be getting to Blickbarten System. It was nice seeing you Une.”

“You’ll do nothing of the sort,” Unity said calmly, standing up to confront him. “Stay for a while, there’s no need to rush.”

“Y-Yeah there is,” he insisted, grabbing my arm to pull me out of there.

“We have fractal dust,” she told him, a smirk playing on her face when he stopped, dropping my wrist and turning back to her. “Stay, hang out for a while.”

“N-Nova, you’ll be alright with Unity, a-alright? It-It’s been years since I’ve been able to get my hands on some fractal dust.” His eyes lit up with excitement as Unity gently pulled me back onto the bed with her and another of her species entered and led Rick down a small spiral staircase.

“Relax Nova, Rick’s just downstairs,” Unity smiled calmly.

“O-Okay.” I tried willing myself to relax at Unity’s request.

It wasn’t working.

“So. Nova. Tell me about yourself,” Unity asked curiously like this was a slumber party and I was the new kid in town.

“I-I’ve known Rick since I was a kid,” I stammered, “I’m not that interesting.”

“I’m sure he’d beg to disagree,” she smirked wickedly.

“I’m a lot more interested in you though, how do you know Rick?” I asked her, desperate to change the topic to anything but me.

“We dated- briefly,” she explained simply, “He was incredible, but I had aspirations, I wanted to take over a nice planet and really settle down.”

“Th-That’s nice,” I offered nervously. For how curious I was about her, any questions I wanted to ask her had turned into mush in my brain. “I-Is that why you broke up?”

“Not necessarily. He also wouldn’t shut the hell up about you!” Her tone briefly became manic before she cleared her throat delicately and continued. “I-I mean, how’s a hivemind supposed to feel wanted when the object of their affection is clearly hung up on someone else!?” she lamented bitterly, “Nothing against you sweetheart, it hurt back then, but I’m okay now,” she assured me with a pat on my back.

“O-Okay,” I sputtered.

“So are you guys a thing? Or are you still in that awkward phase of will they won’t they or something?” she asked as she stood up, fluffing her hair in the mirror.

“I- uh- we’re not really anything as far as I know.” It was my turn to be flustered.

“You mean to tell me that ‘something’ you were in the middle of wasn’t a hot bout of grandpa fuckin’?” She turned and giggled at me, causing my face to go completely red.

“N-N-No!” I denied loudly, “I-I mean, we kissed, b-b-but we did-didn’t f-fu-”

“Fuck sweetie, you can say it,” she said condescendingly as she returned to her mirror to apply her lipstick. “So if you guys aren’t a thing, you mind if I hit it on a rebound? He is looking a lot better than I remembered.”

“I-I, I mean, that’s really up to him.” I was floored at her request, and a part of my mind was screaming at me to shut the fuck up, to tell her no, but she grinned at my ‘permission’, turning to face me again.

“Oh goodie, I know he can’t resist me,” she smiled smugly, spritzing herself with a bottle of perfume from her vanity. “You want me to send one of me of your preferred gender up for you to have fun with? No judgment sweetheart.”

“I-Uh, no, that’s okay. Th-Thanks,” I assured her. She shrugged, turning away and leaving me alone in her room.

+Rick+

Jesus fucking christ, fucking Unity.

Of all the times for my past to come back to haunt me, why did it have to be now? I finally decide to make my move and she just has to come through with the cockblock. I could still feel Nova’s skin, her weight, hell, her scent as she mounted me. Fuck, I could’ve blown my load right there. Now Nova was up there gossiping with my ex about god knows what embarrassing shit. She just had to have fractal dust on hand, didn’t she? I hadn’t had that since the last time I was with her. It was probably the only thing that would’ve gotten me to leave Nova there with her.

A male Unity led me to a small lounge where another of her subjects had lines set up for me, ready to go. My mouth was watering as I sat down on the uncomfortably plush couch, leaning forward and doing a line. The world swirled around me as the husks Unity was possessing surrounded me, a hot Redhead, a guy with blue hair and the guy that initially greeted us took their own hits. I sunk back into the couch, letting the effects of the drug overtake my body, grateful for the feeling of release I was finally getting. It felt like my body was truly starting to relax

“Hey, Rick,” a sultry voice came from beside me. I struggled to turn my head, but when it finally moved, I was surprised to see the Captain Unity husk eyeing me like she was ready to eat me alive.

“H-Hey Une, where’s Nova?” I asked lazily, turning my head back to the ceiling to watch as the dots on the ceiling danced around above me.

“She’s fine, Rick. She wanted me to come and check on you.” She dragged her fingers up and down my chest as she spoke, sending shivers down my spine.

“Did she now?” I asked with a smile. That’s my Nova, always trying to take care of me. I smiled to myself as thoughts of Nova seemed to come to life in front of me. Images of her bringing me coffee first thing in the morning, even memories I’d concocted of my own, like her draping a blanket over me when I’d passed out at my workbench. She was too good to me. Unity watched me as I reminisced, continuing to walk her fingers over me. My mind warped Captain Unity into Nova, and I allowed her to bring her hand up under my shirt. Her touch was sending more chills through my entire body.

“Oh, Nova,” I murmured, looking over at her. She smiled uncomfortably at me but didn’t stop touching me. I guided her over to me, bringing her to rest on my lap as she closed the gap between us, kissing me with the same rough passion from earlier. I brought my hands up, pushing her shirt up to feel the delicate muscles in her back as she moved on top of me.

“You wanna do another line?” Nova whispered against my ear, before leaning over to grab the tray from the table in front of us. I nodded quickly, grabbing the bill I had used earlier. This hit instilled euphoria in me and as soon as she sat the tray safely back on the table, I picked her up and rested her back on the couch. I tugged her shirt up over her head, tossing it away from us as I eagerly returned to her chest. Her bra still stood between us, and as buried my face in her hair and reached around her back for the clasp, I finally started noticing something was wrong. I pulled away, realizing Nova smelled an awful lot like the cheap perfume Unity used to always wear when we were together. I blinked repeatedly until the Nova in front of me turned back into the Captain Unity she truly was.

“Unity? What the fuck are you doing?” I recoiled back from her, grabbing her shirt and throwing it back at her.

“You can call me by her name if you want. I don’t mind,” she pleaded, crawling over the couch to me and grabbing the lapels of my lab coat. “I’ve never minded, I swear,” she murmured in my ear

“Ugh, no. Stop. Get away from me.” I pushed her back onto the couch. My adrenaline was lessening the effects of the fractal dust as the different husks around me glared at me sadly. “Where’s Nova?” I asked sharply, wiping the leftover saliva away from my mouth.

“Sh-She’s upstairs,” Captain Unity relented, pointing to the stairs to her room pitifully. I stormed up to find Nova, pulling my flask out in an attempt to get the taste of Unity out of my mouth. I burst through the door to find Nova sitting sadly on the bed, looking very unsure of how she even got there in the first place.

“C-Come on Nova, we’ve gotta go,” I growled, grabbing her hand and leaving the room.

“R-Rick? What happened?” she asked fearfully as I pulled her behind me, ignoring all of the Unity husks approaching me.

“We’ve gotta get the fuck outta here,” I seethed, “I knew staying here was a bad fucking idea.”

“Wh-what happened?”

“L-Look, I’ll explain once we’re far away from here, okay?” My head was still spinning when we finally made it to the ship and I hesitated by the driver’s side door. “You can drive a stick, right? It’s not that hard, I’m just- I’m rollin’ pretty fucking hard and I’m gonna need you to fly us out of here.”

“I-I can try,” she swallowed her fear as I boosted her into my seat before making my way around to the passenger seat. The engine started, but the bay door beneath us didn’t open.

“Unity, open this fucking door!” I roared, rolling down the window.

“Come on Rick! Just stay for a little while!” the blue-haired Unity asked desperately, “It could be like old times!”

“N-Now!” I shouted viciously. The blue-haired Unity hung his head, opening the bay door, allowing us to fall through. “A-Alright, Nova, listen to me.” I directed her through the basics of flying as we lazily fell through space. She caught on quickly, rocketing us out into the expanse of space. Once Unity’s ship had disappeared behind us, she slowed, shifting into hover mode.

“You wanna explain to me what the fuck that was all about?” she asked eyes narrowed as she turned to me.

“Wh-What the fuck did you say to Unity?” I shot back at her.

“Nothing!” she exclaimed, “She was asking if w-we were a th-thing and I told her no!”

“Anything else?” I pressed, “Anything that would explain why she came down and hopped on my lap?” I lied. She didn’t need to know all the details and I likely wouldn’t remember them for much longer anyway.

“She asked if I minded if she tried to hit that on the rebound. I-I told her that it would be up to you,” she revealed shamefully, “What. Happened?”

“Well, she did try. She went with the tried and true method of getting me really fucking high and trying to jump my bones,” I told her, disgusted with Unity for being so goddamn brazen.

“D-did you guys-”

“No!” I stopped her. “I realized- I stopped her.”

Shit.

“What did you realize Rick?” She pressed.

The fractal dust still in my system was back in full effect now that I wasn’t pumping through adrenaline and I couldn’t stop myself from continuing. “I realized she wasn’t you, okay?”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.”

“Look Rick, that kiss-”

“Nova, if you’re about to tell me it doesn’t have to mean anything then you haven’t been paying attention to anything that’s been happening,” I told her flatly, not letting her finish.

“B-But, Unity-”

I stopped her this time with a kiss, unwilling to hear another word about what she thought I wanted. I couldn’t believe I didn’t realize it wasn’t her sooner, just by the taste of her mouth. Nova was warm and comforting where Unity had been cold. I’d chalk it up now to be the reptilian life form she had been inhabiting, but I still couldn’t believe it hadn’t been a dead giveaway. Nova crossed the cab again, resting in my lap. I made quick work of her top, tossing it back into the seat next to me. Her skin was soft against my lips as I traced around the curves of her breasts. She tilted her head back, moaning from my touch.

“Rick,” she hissed as I bit her gently. Her hips gyrated slowly against me, and I couldn’t stop myself as I brought my hands up to her breasts. I had to take a deep breath to stop myself from ravaging her right here in this ship. As I paused, she took control, tilting forward again to find my neck. She nibbled gently, and a shudder shook my entire body as my hand tightened around her breast.

“Ship, recline the passenger seat and remove armrests,” I ordered, my voice shaky. It repeated my order back to me and I flipped Nova over, resting her beneath me. Looking down at her like this, it was intoxicating in a way I never thought possible. She was looking up at me full of desire and lust, making my head spin. She looked hesitant, however, and withdrew slightly, giving her some space.

“Rick, please don’t be mad, I want this, I want you, but not here. N-Not like this,” she pleaded softly.

“Of course Nova,” I panted, returning to the driver seat and tossing her shirt back to her. My head was still spinning, in part from the drugs, but also her words. Words I’d been longing to hear for months.

“I want you.”

+Nova+

“We should still probably head to the Blickblarten System,” Rick told me, his voice still husky. I nodded in agreeance as he shifted out of hover and headed there. He still seemed lost in his own thoughts, but he was different from before, no longer as cold and distant, instead, he was far more inclined to even look at me again. The silence allowed me to slip into my own head.

Unity going after him, not a huge surprise but him resisting her while completely out of his mind? That was a different story. I’d seen how Ricks could get about their Novas, but I guess a part of me never expected it to be reflected in my Rick. I should’ve expected it though, considering what Rick W-236 had said about him.

“Your Rick is considered the Rogue Rick, rash and emotional.”

We landed on yet another vibrant planet, but where the last one had been mostly plant life, this one was filled with a bustling city. Tall skyscrapers lived up to their names, bearing logos in foreign languages. We parked the ship next to one of the large skyscrapers, Rick assuring me the walk would be worth it if it meant we had a ship to return to. Rick took my hand, leading me quickly through the city until we reached a seedier part of town.

“Stay close to me,” he murmured, tightening his grip on my hand.

“Rick, where are we?” I whispered nervously, as a creature with a bulbous head eyed me lecherously.

“This is Shingrap,” he explained, “I know a guy here, it should only take a minute.” He also seemed to have spotted the lecherous creature because he pulled out his pistol with his free hand and pulled me closer. We approached a burnt-out building and I stopped in front, eyeing it hesitantly. “Nova, it’s going to be okay, come on. Let’s get this over with,” Rick urged, watching behind us. The bulbous headed creature had been joined by his friend, edging ever closer toward us. Once we were safely in the building, Rick released my hand and sealed the door behind us. I tried to follow him as he climbed the stairs two to three at a time but my legs were nowhere near as long. He stopped a couple of flights ahead of me, leaning over the railing with a huff.

“I’m sorry my legs aren’t the length of my body?” I shot up at him as he glared down at me, smirking.

“Just hurry up Nova,” he sighed, leaning against the railing to wait. I caught up to him and he slowed his pace to allow me to keep up. We finally reached the top floor, both of us panting from the extreme amount of exercise. He knocked on the door in a specific pattern, very reminiscent of the knock Beth and I used for each other. A rusted peeker opened to reveal a very angry pair of eyes. They calmed at the sight of Rick and me and the door was pulled open to reveal…

Another fucking Rick. Jesus fucking christ.

“Another one? Aren’t you friends with anyone but yourself?” I asked darkly as this new Rick welcomed us across his threshold, eyeing me with that same wistful gaze Riq IV had for me. He was dressed in military garb, a deep gash marring his right eye.

“Ah, you have yourself a Nova,” he remarked, “You’re a lucky son of a bitch.”

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s just do our business so I can get out of here.” Rick directed me behind him, away from Scar Rick.

“N-No, it’s been years since I’ve seen a Nova. Come out here where I can see you, sweetheart. I’m not going to hurt you,” he insisted. Rick sighed, guiding me out from behind him for Scar to see. I blushed as Scar’s eyes coated me with bitter longing before Rick tucked me back behind him while he conducted his business. Scar gave Rick what looked like a wad of Monopoly money before Rick pulled a large crystal from god knows where in his lab coat before nodding and turning to leave. Scar was still watching me as Rick grabbed my hand. “W-Wait,” he stopped us.

“What do you want now?” Rick sighed impatiently.

“C-Can I talk to Nova for a moment? J-Just a moment, that’s all I ask,” Scar urged carefully, watching my Rick’s response. Rick didn’t respond, instead, he turned to me to indicate the decision was up to me.

“Wh-What’s up?” I inquired nervously as I approached him.

“I-I lost my Nova when we formed the Citadel,” he explained, “The federation kidnapped her to try to get information out of her and-” his voice hitched for a moment, and I knew what he needed. I wrapped my arms around the broken man in front of me. He gripped me tightly, burying his face in my hair as he sobbed gently. When we broke apart, he thanked me and I nodded. I returned to my Rick’s side, clasping his hand in mine as he opened a portal in front of us. Scar watched us through watery eyes as we disappeared on the other side.

“So why exactly couldn’t we have just portaled there from the get-go?” I asked irritably.

The portal dropped us next to the car. Rick climbed in, counting his monopoly money looking satisfied. “That was a Rick? You can’t just portal into a Rick in hiding’s safe house,” he explained, pocketing the money with one of his damn, know-it-all smirks. “You wanna go somewhere fun now?” he asked his smirk widening into a grin. I nodded hesitantly as he lifted off, rocketing away from the planet.

“That poor Rick,” I commented mournfully as he navigated. He glanced over at me, raising an eyebrow before shaking his head and smiling.

“You know why Ricks and Novas get along so well?” I shook my head, eager for him to continue. “Where a Morty is an IQ Cloak, Novas- well Novas offer a balance to a Ricks mental state. Y-Y-Y-You see, a Rick's mental state fluctuates between ‘I am a fucking GOD’ to ‘Everything is pointless’. A Nova offers a balance to that. It doesn’t always w-work, but with how even-tempered and rational Novas can be… i-i-it just works out. D-Does that make any fucking sense?” he finished nervously.

“I think so, Rick,” I smiled, resting my hand on his.

“Th-That’s why Ricks are so attached. It’s a chemical thing. I-I know I can be… difficult-”

“To say the least.”

“BUT, it’s why I have such a hard time leaving you alone.”

“R-Rick, I don’t know what to do about Ryan,” I admitted softly, “I don’t love him, I haven’t loved him in a very long time but... what if that’s what causes his rage to break? I don’t want to push the limits.”

“Nova, just let me kill him. I want to do it. It would be a fucking honor,” Rick assured me darkly.

“No Rick…”

“What I’m hearing here is, yes, Rick, do it, Rick, I won’t be mad if you do, Rick,” he grinned slyly.

“Seriously, there’s got to be another way,” I shoved him gently.

“There really isn’t one,” he told me regretfully, “Either you leave him and it doesn’t make him snap or it does. If he doesn’t, he gets to live his life as a docile little bird, or he dies. It’s that simple. Fortunately, it doesn’t seem like there have been any problems yet.”

“Yeeaahh, about that,” I drew out nervously. He took a deep breath, before raising his eyebrows at me, waiting for me to continue. “Th-The night that he kicked me out, he was asking me to stop hanging out around you because I told him we’d had a bad adventure-”

“That’s putting it lightly.”

“I told him we’d had a bad adventure,” I pressed on through his interruption, “and I told him, no, I liked hanging out with you and I think, even if only for a minute, his rage broke. He looked furious. Like he was going to kill me.”

Rick was quiet for a moment, considering my words. “Nova, don’t go home,” he told me, deathly serious.

“I’m going to have to see him again eventually,” I insisted, “There’s Madi to consider to ya know.”

“We’ll get Madi when she comes home, Summer will like having her BFF living with her,” he rationalized. “I’m serious Nova. When that dampener snaps- think of it like a bridge. A-all of that rage is going to flood out like fucking ocean.” He frantically ran his hand through his hair as he tried to contain his panic. His eyes lit up though, as a billboard appeared on a small dwarf planet. “Oh shit, we’re here!” he exclaimed, all previous panic seemingly erased.

“We’re… where?”

“BLIPS AND CHITZ!”

+Ch7: Shameful Metaphors+

#rick and morty #rick and morty fanfiction #rick sanchez x reader #rick sanchez/reader

[shutupvan]

An experience in coquetry.

Let me put this sweet, swift, sharp love into prose to close a chapter that simultaneously typified what 2019 was to me and what 2020 will likely be. 

Since Thomas, Spyro was the first person I’ve fallen for. 

I realised in July 2019 (the last time I saw Thomas, hopefully ever in this life!) that he had not left me heartbroken. He had just left me broken. I came to terms with how toxic and dysfunctional that relationship had been - and that his cruelties had outweighed his kindness in large measures. I gained insight into how little I respected myself, how unhinged I was, how badly I thirst for love and attract people who feed me vinegar and say this is love! this is love! and I drink it thinking it’s wine.

I asked Spyro out two months after that epiphany. I fancied him - I was intrigued and wanted to know him. I just wanted to understand more of who he was, and that, after all, is what dating is. Things ended with Thomas back in 2018 (ended for him, I had continued to pine for much longer), and my mother had been pushing me for so long to ask Spyro out. I kept telling her that I hadn’t been ready. But after having the rose-tinted glass shattered on what Thomas and I were I didn’t want to waste any more of my time licking wounds. So I asked Spyro out in Septemeber 2019. It felt incredibly good and brave. I didn’t have any expectations - and it felt like a really wonderful ‘Year of Possibility’ milestone. To go into dating without crazy thoughts of ‘this is the one I’ll marry’ or ‘this is The One for me.’ I just wanted to know him as a complete person.

There was a lot I liked about him. A lot that was dreamy. He was forthright, he was kind, he was intelligent, he was witty, he was extroverted, he was handsome. He was very attentive. It was the first time I’ve dated someone with the same religious beliefs as me while also having a similar outlook on life as me (messy, painful, shades of grey). After the third date, he referred to me as his girlfriend. On the fourth date he was telling me how serious he was, he knew what he wanted and didn’t I, too? And I was ravenous for that kind of commitment, I jumped into it like a cool pool because Thomas had kept me in a desert for so long, refusing over and over to validate our relationship until long after it was done and he could use that against me as yet another weapon to hurt me. 

I don’t need to write about falling in love with Spyro here. I have a whole tag outlining that experience. I don’t need to dwell on the good moments because they were what they were, and they were lovely! He is the second person I’ve kissed and felt something. I had been so terrified of kissing Spyro (I remember the panic attack that persisted during the entire third date, the shaking and the babbling and the sitting three feet away from him) because I liked him so much and I was scared that I would kiss him and feel nothing. That he would become another corpse. And that would confirm that Thomas was the only person I’d ever feel a single thing for. I couldn’t bear it. 

But we kissed and it was right, it was fluttery, it was good! I wish I had kissed him more when I had the chance, even though I never let the chance pass me by. And it was life after death - I could learn to love other people and I was loveable. It was nice to pursue as much as I was being pursued. 

When Spyro said I love you for the first time it felt too soon for me. I had been planning on saying it before he left for Europe at the end of December, or even once he had gotten back (likely the latter). He still didn’t really know me and I didn’t know him well enough to use a word as heavy as love. I had this moment where I stopped him (he broke away from the kiss and said, “Can I say something-” and I knew he was about to say it. And I said “Wait. Stop.” I made him pause while I paused the TV behind us. I considered at that moment saying, not yet, not now, it’s too quick! It’s not supposed to be that quick. I had told my parents in the days before that things were moving too quickly and their protests had been ‘don’t you discourage him, his intentions are pure, don’t do anything to distance him,’ followed by my dad’s fucking timeline of when we would get engaged and married, which was a load of pressure I had not even touched on. But I knew, because I’ve refused to say I love you once before many years ago, that if I did that to him now it would be the seal of death on us dating. I had been thinking about it, I had been falling in love with him, but I wasn’t ready to say it. But in the moment, instead of expressing any of this, I said I love you too. It wasn’t a lie, it was just premature.

Love for me is never a spark - love is like the sun rising. Slow, gradual, gradients of pink until it blazes. A daily occurrence. The persistence to rise even in clouds, even in haze, even when you don’t want the next day to begin. Love isn’t just a feeling. It evolves from the feeling and becomes a purpose, it becomes your soul’s greatest drive to lay yourself down for the other. It is more than a feeling. It is attention, trust, loyalty, honesty, mutual growth and support. It isn’t just a dizzy feeling that makes your heart sing (but you would hope that feeling is mixed in there too!) 

When Spyro was in Europe, he cheated on me. He called me at the start of January to tell me. He had been out in Budapest, drunk, dancing with a girl and made out with her. Immediately following that phone call, I was in shock. But I wasn’t at all surprised. Wasn’t surprised he had done it and wasn’t surprised I had been cheated on. It was like, oh, there we are. It was bound to happen to me, of course, it was. We give and receive the quality of care that what we think we deserve - Thomas had taught me that.

He really relishes being out drinking and dancing and nighttiming. Not occasionally, pretty regularly by what he kept telling and showing me. To the point of unconsciousness. To the point of no consequence. Where he has an excuse for behaving in exact opposition to his moral code. Where he had an excuse to make me uncomfortable. When I mentioned it to him before the break up he got very self-defensive. But he later said it is his way to quell stress. And I know what that really means: his way to numb himself from dealing with facing himself. 

I have a long list of things I’ve used to numb myself in the moments where I cannot bear to confront myself - alcohol had been one of them and recently I slipped into that the day he returned from Europe, putting off dealing with the bad by getting drunk and feeling good. I’m off drinking for a while because of it. Getting drunk to let off steam is the stupidest thing in the world, it leaves you feeling worse. Cutting yourself to purge your anger, starving yourself to make yourself feel smaller, masturbating just for a continual dopamine ride, scrolling mindlessly through social media or binging Netflix is a dysfunctional way to avoid looking inward - to distract or to numb. None of those activities are bad in themselves (mm..perhaps self-harm being the exception) but using them as a coping mechanism to avoid dealing with your broken ego is problematic. And I have literally spent 2018 and 2019 working on no longer doing any of those things.

Anyway, I knew that him drinking to the point where he felt out of control (we all prefer that feeling to mastering ourselves) meant that he was not ready to be in a relationship. I had known this from the beginning, to be frank. You don’t seek an escape from ordinary life and your ordinary self, if you’re at peace with yourself and the person you're in a relationship with. I mean, unless you’re dating very casually and just want to fuck around, in which case drink and party away. That lifestyle isn’t even a big deal - most people I know in their twenties would prefer to be out partying, getting drunk, or getting high, spending money carelessly, than to do the opposite - planning with another person, setting life goals, investing in somebody else’s wellbeing and self-care as well as your own. 

He told me that he hadn’t ever been in love with me - that he had said it because he feared that I was going to end things with him. He said other things I’m not going to write down because they were too hurtful. I don’t understand why he spelled this out when I had simply given him the option of breaking up. I could analyse this until the cows come home but I don’t see the point to it. I think it boils down to this: he desired to be in love, he wanted to be in a secure and serious relationship, to live up to this idea of who he is supposed to be impressed upon him from his family and church. And then the other side of him that is not ready to give up living selfishly and singly. If he wants to continue living selfishly, I don’t begrudge that of him. I just wished he wouldn’t have committed so fast. Over the course of our dating, he had commented that the relationship would get in the way of him going out with the boys, always jokingly. But he feared he was missing out on something by setting out on a serious relationship. Whereas I know that I’m not missing out on anything I did in 2017 and prior. I am glad the distractions are over with. 

Likely, this was a big part of why he wasn’t into me. I am far too homely, too desperate to do the things that give me meaning and connection and purpose. Maybe he wanted those things from me at first before realising what that would mean parting with. He said he felt no spark with me, but I’m not sure if I believe that. If that’s the case, he lied continuously throughout the dalliance. I think he was searching for an excuse. I knew from the moment he told me that he kissed somebody else that it was his way of sabotaging things, his excuse to leave the relationship. He needed to invent a reason. I think it was less about the spark, more about us not being compatible with what our values are and where we both are right now in life. In that respect, I agree with him - we have not clicked together as two people are meant to when they want to partner up to do life together and tackle the heavy, hard things together. On paper, it would have looked perfect!

I also realise my own faults in this: I was so possessive with Thomas, but this time I was too passive. I have become so afraid of conflict that I would rather betray my own intuition. That I still have so much anxiety leftover from Thomas that I can’t yet date. I’ve already journaled a lot about the week leading up to Spyro and I  splitting up, so I won’t write about it here. I know my faults. I know where I lacked self-awareness. I treated him pretty rough in the last week. I kept spiralling back into everything that had happened last time - convinced he was manipulating me or trying to play mind games. But I don’t think Spyro is that kind of person. I think he fooled me because he was fooling himself. 

This is what I took away from it all:

1. I will be going to see a therapist. Making the appointment today. If I hadn’t had this experience with Spyro then I would never have realised that I actually need a therapist, or had the guts to see one, or considered myself worthy of care, considered my issues worthy of help. So I’m actually very grateful to him for this.

2. I should be more explicit when I start dating someone, right from the outset. I should spell out my damage and insist I that things move slowly with communication at key points. I need to suss out their values and their life goals before I even consider prising my heart open. 

3. I need to keep being brave. I am still so glad I asked him out and I’m glad for every moment with him. I’m glad we had this short-lived little love affair. It was a perfect way to end 2019 (such a gorgeous year it was), to fall in love during spring, to practice what it means to love. I’m injured from it but I know it will be fine - it just meant it wasn’t supposed to be! I’m glad it wasn’t dragged out. It opened up a door for 2020 - the year of the inner child. I have so much work to do with my inner child. I have so, so much healing to do in order to excavate my own defence mechanisms, my flaws and my faults. It was excellent to start the year having another person hold a mirror up to me through some heartbreak. I know that this relationship was for my higher purpose and I am grateful.

As always, I wish him the best but I wish myself better!

#the year of the inner child #love interest