Who's ready for my Master Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss Crepus Theory!!
I originally posted this over at Hoyolab and people there seemed to really like my favorite joke theory that Crepus just tries to gaslight the whole of Mondstadt right after obtaining Kaeya
Majority of this will be the same but with little tweaks for the wonderful tumblr audience
This joke stems from Kaeya's introduction:
and the use of the word "rumored"
Cause it's not like it said beyond Teyvat or the seven nations just Mondstadt
And I mean like c'mon how many families are living off the grid in Mondstadt
(Actually... Don't answer that I forgot Glory's boyfriend is just
Out there in the bush with Razor...)
Initially I had the idea of Crepus walking around the markets one day carrying Kaeya with Diluc beside him running into Varka who asks:
"Who's the boy?"
"You mean my son?"
"Not Diluc the boy you're carrying"
"I have two sons? You know this??"
But then the Caribert quest came out mentioning Kaeya ran away from home near immediately and was dragged home by Crepus just as fast and it became even funnier
Cause imagine you're by the docks one day and richest man in town gets off the boat with no cargo but instead a tiny child you may not have seen before that Crepus seems to be very cross with at the moment and threatening to turn him into a leash kid if he runs off again
In a small town that loves gossip do you know how fast that information is spreading? Cause I do and Varka's knocking on Crepus's door 30 minutes later like:
"Is this what we're doing? We're just taking kids now?"
Both paths lead to Varka asking where Kaeya comes from and getting hit with a
"I think you're a bit too old to still be confused about the birds and the bees Varka"
Varka getting frustrated to the point he just starts demanding Kaeya tell him what's up
Love to see him following in his fathers footsteps of stressing Varka the fuck out
And upon hearing how his birth father left for juice and didn't return Varka went
"Good! That was ALL I needed to know!!"
Follow ups on if his father intended to abandon him or got lost in the storm and needed a search party?
Don't care!! You weren't kidnapped!!
Welcome to the knights! 🤝
Which bringing it back to it only being a rumor
In a town of alcoholics, who's gonna call out the one guy with the winery?
Here's some add ons that got sparked from the comment section 😘
Bonus panels would have included Varka showing up with Rosaria one day mimicking Crepus about "wHaT you ForGot I haD a Kid" sparking a trend within the community of just adopting random children to the point posters are made saying "In Barbatos name: See a child Take a child"
Alice seeing it and pulling a "when in rome" tucking both Albedo and Diluc(who is yelling he is an adult) under her arms and telling Klee if she ever sees someone in need of a mom let her know she'll send over the paperwork right away
And then the last bonus: Venti wakes up, walks in through the gate while playing a tune, and stops when he sees the poster, not sure if he needs to start yet another revolution, or if this one is fine actually
I imagine the posters had to be taken down because visitors were losing their kids left and right and the solution of parents pinning a note saying "not dead & still want custody" to their kids shirt didn't catch on but the saying still lives strong in the hearts of Mondstadt's citizens I mean look Bennett and his 27 dads Mondstadt may have a lot of orphans but the demand is even higher
Comment on original post:
"I have a headcanon where Kaeya fooled first Crepus, then the rest of Mondstadt but.this is too funny!! I want to see this happening!"
Which prompted one of my new favorite lines at the end:
"Wait by fool Crepus first do you mean like Crepus finding him out in the storm bringing him inside to ask him where he lives and Kaeya's just
"? I live here? You adopted me? Are you feeling okay?"
Cause I'm absolutely cry laughing over this that's so good but that also means when Kaeya runs away Crepus is just
"hey no no l'm not misplacing you a second time come home" "
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Ride 730: “Handicap”
Pag 1
1: I saw Imaizumi-san and Sugimoto-san, a third years pair!!
2: They're currently the fastest, now starting the 20th lap!!
3: Amazing!!
Woah
Already... 100km!?
Pag 2
1: A buddies battle, huh....
2: They thought about it too
Hahaha
Chasing them there's the pair of Onoda-san and Naruko-san!
3: They had an handicap for the first 40km but are gradually catching up
Amazing!
We're just watching them but it's so exciting!!
Oi, you two, don't take a rest and run too!!
Ye-yes, Gorizou-senpai!!
4: Last year, Teshima he broke up the “team of two” for himself
And he also separated Danchiku and Kaburagi, who were first years
5: He wanted to increase individual power
Pag 3
1: This year, on the comtrary, you paired them up and made them run together
2: Can't you raise your pace more, Nogaki!
I'm doing my best!
3: If we overdo it from the beginning, then we'll have nothing left
But if they open a gap then we won't be able to cover the distance
4: Two people having to run as a pair means that when there are different opinions the'll of course end up arguing
5: You won't know until they try finishing the whole 1000km, but-
Hahaha
Naruko, Onoda, Imaizumi.... this training camp is the answer that you learned through participating twice in the Inter High
That's right
6: You can overcome troubles and difficulties through cooperation and reach a successful conclusion....
Pag 4
1: The “buddies”
Pag 5
1: Are the smallest unit of “team Sohoku that supports each other”!!
Pag 7
1: We're goin ahead, Hotshot, kakaka
2: Ah... sorry I was late today, Imaizumi-kun
It's nothing, don't worry about it
3: There was a guy along the way.....
4: He brings it up every time he passes us, but- “a guy”, I couldn't hear, what guy
5: Those two have passed us many times since earlier...!!
There's a 40km margin, so of course they haven't closed it all
Pag 8
1: It's probably the time to start worrying about them!!
Imaizumi!!
2: From now on we need some kind of plan.... those two are fast!!
Will it be okay if we don't come up with a plan!?
3: Yeah, don't worry, we have a margin
They won't surpass us if we keep going at this pace
Ye... ah, you're so calm, as expected of you, Imaizumi
4: With those two, Onoda pulls them on the climbs, and Naruko pulls on the flats...
5: They're the most efficient pair!!
6: We entered the climb, so I'm going ahead, Naruko-kun!!
Yeah!!
Pag 9
1: Oruaaaagh!!
2: “Efficient”....?
3: That's how you see it? Sugimoto
5: You say they work well perfectly well together
7: Hahaha, more.... more, Onoda-kun!! Raise it...!! The climbing pace!!
Pag 10
1: If you think so, then your eyes are bad
3: Alright, let's raise the pace of another 10%!!
Oruaaaaagh
Waaaa, they're so fast!
Pag 11
1: It's the complete opposite of what you said
It's a shame
2: Onoda raises his paces on climbs, and Naruko manages to cling to him
Oruaaaagh
4: Then, it's the opposite on the flats
5: The climb is finally over, so I'm going ahead, Onoda-kun
6: Once, during training camp we were blocked with an “equipment handicap”
7: Now
8: They're carrying each other like that burden
Onoda on the flats.... and Naruko on the climbs!! Now....
Pag 12
1: It's a “human handicap”!!
Fly and follow me, Onoda-kun!!
O... okay!!
2: So fast... as expected, Naruko-kun is so fast!!
3: Come on, you're dropping your pace!!
5: Yeah
Pag 13
1: Let's keep going like this!!
Kakaka
2: So there's this kind of use too, in this buddies system!!
3: “Human handicap”....!!
5: To “become stronger”.....!!
Those two are still trying to become stronger
Before the training camp, I also tried to prepare in my own way, but
Pag 14
1: Maybe I've been too complacent.....!!
3: I- Imaizumi!!
Sorry, the things you're saying now, I'm only noticing them now, and now!!
4: What are you even doing Sugimoto Terufumi!! You know it, this training camp has been to get stronger since the beginning!!
5: My eyes really are bad!!
7: I'm not on you guys' level so there are many things I don't notice
I'm still not satisfied!!
Pag 15
1: Oh, he realized it
2: If it were the you from some time ago, you would have made up some excuses
I- I noticed, I'm an experienced cyclist, so of course I don't have bad eyes
3: So, please, tell me, Imaizumi!!
Everything about what I'm lacking, for the whole time!! For these whole four days!!
I think I've prepared enough for this training camp
4: I've already thrown away my pride a long time ago!!
Pag 16
1: That's why the “Sohoku jersey” that you gave me, I left it at home!!
3: The next time I'll put on that jersey it will be as a regular!! When I will become the sixth member and run in the Inter High with you, Imaizumi!!
5: I see. Then it's going to be a challenging four days
Yeah, exactly!!
Pag 17
1: Let's go, Sugimoto!!
Yeah!!
2: I'll also become stronger in this training camp!! Imaizumi, no matter what kind of opponent will come at me, I will!!
3: So that I'll be able to run om that stage with you!!
5: Sugimoto.... in my cold way of speaking, I... think you're powerless
6: I also have to get stronger during these four days
I have a margin that Onoda and Naruko can't close, and I plan on reaching the goal faster than anyone else
7: Eventually, you'll fall behind
Pag 18
1: I'll take the “powerless you” and run 1000km!! That's the “human handicap” I chose for myself!!
Pag 19
1: End of the first day of training camp
Ahhh I'm so tired!
Ah, my legs, my legs hurt....
Ahh, I can't walk
2: The senpai are walking so quickly!
Incredible!
4: Teeeh....
Guaa....
5: As expected... training camp is so hard...
Waaaa, the world is spinning...
And tomorrow.... too? Kinaka-kun
Yeah!! Rokudai
Ughh...
Distance covered on the first day: Imaizumi and Sugimoto, 250km
Pag 20
1: Kaburagi and Danchiku, respectively 250km and 240km
Sugimoto Sadatoki, Gorizou, Sawada, and the third year Kawada, all retired
3: Onoda and Naruko, 225km and 250km
4: My back....
My neck....
My legs....
It hurts
The first years
5: Rokudai and Kinaka, 180km
Several other people reached the goal sefely
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🎬: About Es being a past prisoner and the secret 11th prisoner in your AU. But advance apologies if I'm overstepping into your AU!
I had this idea from a story that pretty much did the same thing. Going off there are novels/manga on Milgram and there being another Es and their own prisoners running another Milgram (but differently) I imagine this Milgram projects has been going on for a while, and our Es was from a previous project who might have gotten the worst verdict (or the most spared out of everyone), and was given this final task as a warden for the next group of prisoners. This is why they so readily agreed and had their memories wiped for this Milgram project instead of being weary on a shady project on judging an almost crime, they've already been through this.
(BTW is it bad and worrying for one of our ten fav prisoners to be the next Es if this is legit...)
Anyway, that's why Es is in Milgram in your AU, I guess? And the lore drop that Kotoko picks up on them being the 11th prisoner, I can imagine her also talking to Kazui since he's a policeman to see if she could cross out any theories on who Es is (Did they look familiar. Possible missing child. Any cases to do with an almost crime by a child other than the 10 of them here). Kazui knows Kotoko wants to investigate, but reminds her that, like in their prison while the trial is on, the facilities they're in have high security too. They do have the freedom to move about, but still limited.
If they're trying to investigate Es, maybe Fuuta, Kotoko and Mikoto can try to do the hacking on the comp Mikoto's allowed to use to Photoshop some shots for the MVs and photos (Fuuta and Kotoko seem to be able to search up info they need I think...). Yuno, Mahiru and Muu can work on charming the staff to see if they can spill more deets on Milgram. Not sure how much the group can gather, but oh boy fun times in Milgram can turn into another sort of stress in this AU...
No worries!! Like I said before, this whole au has been a fun collaborative project, so there's no overstepping :) I am sorry I won't be writing a lot on the ending until we get more info, but that's just the perfectionist in me who doesn't want to be proven wrong 😅 Still, I love tossing around and digging into ending scenarios, I really love this!
Because that would make a lot of sense why they're so willing to subject themself to the whole experiment! They remember how tough their experience was, and are confident they can care for the new set of prisoners while doing their job. I'm imagining they get the opportunity to return as guard, and get to have a nice talk with their own guard first. Once they fully understand what it's like, they're know they can handle it and sign up. It adds a bit of drama, too, since they must have been really young committing their crime in order to complete a years-long experiment prior to this one. They would have been like 10? Oof. (Now I wanna see their three trial songs 👀)
And like you said, that also brings up the question of the new warden. Though I think it's based on verdict results, I can just picture Jackalope keeping an eye on everyone during filming. He studyies their interactions and personalities, keeping his own set of notes on who would make a good successor. (I'm not going to go through every character but there are pros to any choice, it's very fun picturing them all taking the job.) Haha, on the other hand, maybe the reason Kotoko keeps bringing up her role as Es' partner/bringer of justice is because she did discover the truth. She drops as many hints as possible so she can be chosen next 😅
Ooh, I love her working with Kazui on an investigation! The fact that eh may know details on recent crimes (and almost-crimes) is super fun to work with. He's the last person who's going to spill a secret, so the group could go several trials without realizing Kazui had actually heard all about their situation this whole time.
(Getting sidetrack for a sec, I'm suddenly realizing that he and Kotoko may have heard things about the crimes in canon, too. They're a bit unclear about how much time passed between the murders and arriving to Milgram, so maybe he heard some things. I don't know how well-connected Tokyo police departments are, but Yuno, Fuuta, Muu, and Shidou are all nearby. There's definitely a chance he caught word of the vigilante nearby, and she heard about the odd policeman's suicide. Both of them could have heard about the tragic housefire, the disgraced doctor, or horrible schoolgirl murder nearby.)
Anyway, I like that idea of Kazui wracking his brain for any similar cases. Though, if he had, Milgram may have had the foresight to wipe parts of his memory, too. Maybe he does end up using his call to reach out to Hinako and have her look into it from the outside. Sadly, Kotoko seems the type to sacrifice her personal call to reach out to a connection who can help as well. I'll have to think about how closely Jackalope monitors those calls, hm.
I'm going crazy over prisoner investigation team !! Kotoko and Fuuta had the online knowledge to find some good info, and Mikoto and Kazui seem like they'd have a huge network of people they can ask for info and favors from. Haha, I'm torn whether Mahiru would have flirting down to a science or if she'd refuse to do it since it wasn't real love 😂 Still, she's very good at reading people and could definitely help the others charm and bribe their way into some restricted areas. Amane and Haruka can also charm with their innocence/cuteness (though I'm not sure Amane would). Shidou seems very organized, he'd have a plan and backup plan and backup-backup plan ready, no matter what happens. I think it's even funnier, then if Milgram had run several experiments prior. Jackalope would think this was just another runthrough, and for the first time the ten subjects decided to organize together and Cause Problems.
I think there's a beautiful irony in a story featuring ten prisoners planning a jailbreak to save the prison guard...
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