#and so she's punishing herself for caring about cad

[sporadicthingcollection]

As we've seen before, the Little Lady likes to do makeup on Todo, so I bet she loves doing makeup on Bambi too (even against his will). And when he goes to complain to his parents, none of them are able to punish her. Because Irno thinks Bambi looks adorable in makeup and Cad finds the situation hilarious.

The Bounty Hunter's Guide to: Makeup

Summary: In which the Little Lady gets a little creative, and Bambi gets shanghai'd into it.

Pairing: Cad Bane x F!Reader

Rating: General.

Word Count: ~1.8k

Warnings: None!

---

The sound of Duros younglings fighting is a very distinct one: lots of spitting and hissing. It sounds a bit like a broken speaker, especially when the ‘fresher bathtub amplifies everything.

Fortunately, they're very easy to break up. Just wait a moment and...

Bane reaches into the scuffle and snatches both kids by the tops of their heads, lifting them up off of the floor. Little spitfires that they are, they both keep swinging and it takes a sharp whistle for them to stop.

"De hell is goin' on?" he asks.

Bambi points at his sister. "She hit me!"

"'Cause ya said I made ya look dumb!" the girl fires back.

They start thrashing at each other again. This time Bane hisses, showing his fangs at both of them. The Little Lady's eyes go wide and she shrinks into her shoulders, and Bambi lets out a submissive chirp.

He feels bad scaring them like that, but sometimes it's the only thing he can do. "Ya gonna start fightin' again?" They shake their heads. He sets both of them down on the floor. He turns to the Little Lady. "Tell me what happened."

She takes a deep breath. "I was playin' with Momma's makeup but my face was gettin' sore so I asked Bambi if I could put it on him an' he said yeah but he got mad when I finished an' said he looked dumb!"

"And dat's when ya hit him?" She nods, and he sighs.

He turns to Bambi to get his side of the story, but before he can say anything, Bane realizes that Bambi... doesn't look right. Red stuff smeared across his thin lips, pink powder covering his cheeks and rostrum, and a pair of dark, uneven lines drawn on the peaks of his brows.

...Yeah, that looks pretty dumb.

He claps his hand over his mouth before his honk of a laugh can escape, but it's too late. Bambi's face scrunches up in resignation and the Little Lady stamps her foot.

"It's not funny!" they both squeak.

They’re right. It's hilarious.

Fortunately, you enter before he can actually lose his shit. You quirk you brow at him, and he jabs his thumb at Bambi. Your hands immediately go to your mouth.

“Bambino mio!” you coo. You drop to your knees and pull the boy into your arms. “Oh, you are the cutest little thing!”

Bambi hisses half-heartedly, but doesn’t struggle to get away. He slumps into your embrace and quietly glares at his sister, who now looks immensely proud of herself.

“Don’t think yer off de hook, li’l lady,” he scolds. “Ya still hit yer brother.”

She slumps, and you raise your eyebrows. “Is that what this is about?” He nods, and you frown at her. “Seriously?” you ask dryly.

“But he said--!”

“I don’t care what he said,” you say. “You don’t hit people. You know better.”

Bane leans against the doorjamb. “How’d ya like it if I smacked you around when I was mad?”

She huffs. “Momma’d kick yer butt if ya did...” she mutters.

He has to bite back a chuckle at that. There is absolutely no doubt in his mind that you’d beat the blue off of him if he laid a finger on either of them. “Ain’t de question, missy.”

She blinks, then slumps. “I wouldn’t like it.”

“You’d be scared of me, wouldn’t ya?” She nods. “Ya want yer baby brother to be scared of ya?” She shakes her head, and he gestures at her. “So what’cha gonna do?”

The Little Lady fiddles with the hem of her dress. “‘M’sorry,” she mumbles.

“Ya didn’t hit me.”

She huffs again, but turns to Bambi. She gently taps his shoulder, and peers at her. “Sorry I hit you,” she says.

Bambi glances at you, and you release him. “S’okay. I said somethin’ mean,” he says. Gently, he bops her on the shoulder. “We’re even.”

The Little Lady smiles, and the tension in the air dissipates. She bops him back, and they start a little play fight, flailing their hands at each other as they giggle.

You separate them before it escalates into another actual fight. “Alright, enough,” you say as you stand. You point at the Little Lady. “You’re still getting punished, though.”

Bane nods. “Todo’s chassis could use some polishin’.”

You nod. “Sound fair, Donnina?”

“I guess,” she mumbles. “...could I do it now to get it over with?”

Bane glances at you, and you nod. He nods back. “I’ll show ya where de rags are. Go grab ‘im an’ bring ‘im outside.”

She slinks off, slipping past Bane. Bambi rubs at his eyes, trying to get the makeup off. “I hate this,” he mutters. You whisper something into his ear, and his brows furrow. “Wait, really?”

You nod sagely. “I know.” You lift him up onto the edge of the ‘fresher sink. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

He’s about to ask what you told him when he hears Todo’s whirring. He leaves you to your cleaning, but not before committing the boy’s look to his long-term memory.

---

He promised himself he wasn’t going to “groom” the kids into bounty hunters. It’s a tough life and they deserve better, despite how good your genes and his might match up and create the perfect criminal.

But he can’t help but treat even simple play as training sometimes. Like tossing a plastic ball back and forth. Exactly like throwing grenades, albeit with less chance of losing a finger or two.

“Don’t toss it so high,” he instructs. “Throw it at me in a straight line, right fer my chest.”

Bambi nods. He pitches the ball, an overhand toss that he doesn’t follow through on. It goes to the left and hits the ground, and Bane snatches it up before it can roll off of the balcony.

“Accuracy, kid. Not distance.” He throws the ball at Bambi’s chest -- difficult when the boy is barely a meter tall, but he’s hit smaller targets with smaller projectiles.

Bambi catches the ball easily, but he huffs. “How can ya throw it so straight?” he asks.

“Follow through.” Bambi cocks his head. Bane thinks for a moment. “Ya know how shockballers lift a leg off de ground when dey throw?” Bambi nods. “Dat’s follow through.”

Bambi nods. He winds up the throw and gives it a toss. Better distance, but it still goes to the left and he lifts his leg too high. His foot slips out from underneath him and he lands on his face with a squeak. He pops right back up, though. “I’m okay!”

Bane snickers as he picks up the ball. “Good. Yer momma’d never let me hear de end of it if ya weren’t.” He tosses the ball back to Bambi. “Don’t lean into it so much dis time.”

The boy nods and winds up. The sound of the front door opening catches Bane’s attention, and he turns to look.

Plastic hits metal. Pain explodes in his head and a burst of red blinds him for a moment. His thighs give out and he collapses to the ground, spitting curses.

It’s only a few moments, fortunately. His vision returns, replaced by Bambi’s worried little face.

“I’m so sorry,” he sputters. “I didn’t mean to hit yer head. I was aimin’ at yer chest but--”

Bane waves his hand, partly out of dismissal and partly out of annoyance. He clambers to his feet, using the railing for support. He takes a moment to catch his breath, to try and dull the throbbing in his head.

Bambi watches with his big ol’ eyes, brow knit up in worry. “You okay...?”

Bane nods. He squeezes his eyes shut. Inhale, hold for three, then exhale.

A few cycles of that and the pain ebbs away. He becomes aware of a weight on his leg and peers down to see Bambi hugging his waist. He places his palm on the crown of the boy’s head. He peers up at him, still worried, but it quickly turns to relief.

“Sorry, Daddy,” he murmurs.

“No harm done, kid,” Bane replies. “‘S’enough fer today.”

Bambi nods and picks up the ball, placing it into the basket of toys before opening the door back inside. He follows behind as Bane enters.

And he immediately regrets his decision.

A small cloud of girls is swarming around you as you sit on the sofa with your makeup box, including the Little Lady. You point at her. “You, grab some towels, cotton balls, and cold cream from the ‘fresher.” She trots off down the hall, and you point at a purple Togruta -- Sida, he thinks her name is. “You, move that lamp over here so we have some better light. Everyone else, cop a seat.”

It’s cute seeing you all authoritative, but Bane cocks a brow. “You one o’ dem makeup ladies now?”

You look up at him and blink. “Oh, I didn’t know you were here!” you chirp. “Say hi, girls.” A small chorus of ‘hi, Mr. Hud’ echoes through the living room. “Mez told everyone I was gonna give her a makeup lesson and she brought a few friends. And those friends brought a friend. And, uh, here we are.”

“Shoulda charged admission,” he says, crossing his arms.

Bambi pokes his head out from behind Bane, only to immediately withdraw.

The girls giggle, and you smile. “And little Winnie is going to be my handsome assistant,” you say.

The boy sticks his head back out, eyes wide. “Huh?”

You wink at him and wave him over. Cautiously, he steps out from behind his cover and makes his way over to the sofa. You lift him up to sit beside you.

A few of the girls coo. “Aw, he’s so sweet,” one of them says.

“I know! I just wanna smooch him.”

The sudden realization that he’s going to be the center of all these girls’ attention for the next few hours hits Bambi. His nervous look melts into a smitten smile, his eyes drooping half-shut.

Bane can’t help but chuckle. That boy’s gonna break every heart on the block.

He considers watching the lesson just to have an excuse to stare at you, but the throb in his head is starting to return. “Be layin’ down if ya need me,” he says.

He makes his way to the hall and nearly trips on the Little Lady as she comes hustling out of the ‘fresher, but she dodges him and slips under his arms. 

He leaves the bedroom door open just a crack, and he drifts off to the sound of your chirpy voice.

---

"Catch Us If You Can Masterpost" | To the Mastahpost | Tip Jar

#cad bane x reader #cad bane x oc #cad bane #dad bane #catch us if you can #99 problems #irno favara #reader insert #x reader #x oc #star wars #star wars oc #mezerel bane #winrel bane #emberly writes #thanks for the ask!

[onaperduamedee]

Notes on The Gathering Storm

BS is much more liberal with shorter and nominative sentences. I feel like I am missing a step at the end of each sentence. It's hilarious.

I get such whiplash from the not-90-pages prologue.

The Seanchan are at last meeting the Trollocs and unning around like headless chickens. Good. Do the Draghkars and Jumara next.

Ituralde filling a city about to be invaded with soldiers is a nice plan. I am so glad he's still resisting.

Errr, Rand appearing to Masema seems a little too Christian even for these books, I am not sure.

Uh. So I hope Faile killing Masema means they will also kill the Seanchan, right? RIGHT

That said, the scene did feel a little odd. I wonder if something's up with her?

So Rand's vision is still messed up after weeks? Not good at all.

"How could he bring peace to a people who refused to accept it?" - You can take Rand out of his empire but you cannot take the imperialism out of Rand.

"She was worth her constant demands for decorum." - thank you Rand. At least we agree that Cads IS useful even if she's tough.

"Otherwise, there won’t be anything left of me for the Dark One to kill." - now that his mind has stopped deteriorating his body is completely breaking up, oof.

Kudos to Rand for opposing torture, even against one of the Forsaken.

Hmmmm, Rand is feeling more antagonistic than usual. This bodes well for an alliance with Egwene and the White Tower, doesn't it?

How very Egwene to stop feeling satisfaction before the state of the Tower because defeating Elaida is not worth breaking the Tower even further. Her POV chapters are truly incredible.

Corridors changing, wind blowing in different directions, tapestries changing, the dead walking, cities vanishing... They’re glimpses into a different turning of the Wheel, right?

I love that Siuan would have furniture with multiple functions. I love that Egwene knows that about Siuan.

"That you are a plague upon this structure as vile and destructive as any disease that has struck city and people in all years past. That you—" - The self-control Egwene has is absolutely breathtaking. I would have broken the bowl on Elaida's head.

Egwene truly is such a remarkable leader. I am speechless before her ability to stand her ground because what she is fighting for is more important than her personal grudges. And the way she reassures the people around her, Medaini, the novices...

Egwene dropping the soup to stop herself from interjecting... So she did break something.

Egwene eats alone and washes her plate while deciding she is here to mend rather than destroy: I love her so much.

"Well," the woman said, standing up and fetching her lash, "the Amyrlin has spoken."

"Yes, I have," Egwene said - I am cackling. You cheeky little thing

"Elaida can say whatever she wants. But that doesn’t change who I am, or who any of us are. Even if she tries to change the Three Oaths, there will be those who resist, who hold to what is correct. And so, when you beat me, you beat the Amyrlin Seat. And that should be amusing enough to make us both laugh. " - I gaped reading this. Egwene is unbreakable. Also, again, only the queerest of vibes from her defiance

Aviendha is such a wholesome and caring character and it's nice to get her POV, but light, do I dislike the implication she wants to become a Wise One mainly to be worthy of marrying Rand.

"I worry that he mistakes hardness for strength." - An incredibly sharp analysis of what is wrong with Rand atm

Perhaps Avi's unexplained punishment is not one at all, but a way for the WO to teach her punishing because she's already ready to be a WO.

So, Sanderson likes quips and autocorrections?

Gawyn is so unsympathetic... He sticks with the WT and not Egwene or Elayne as the WT gave him power and an army: he isn't self-aware enough to realize that his dedication is entirely self-serving

"She was pleasant, for an Aes Sedai, despite the fact that she had helped kidnap Rand and lock him in a box for days, to be pulled out only for the occasional beating." - That's darkly hilarious. Also, Rand is even a worse judge of character than Nyn.

"Rand was a king, though he didn’t wear the Crown of Swords at the moment." okay, that's new. When did he start to think like that about himself? I missed that

How to convince people men who can channel are no longer a danger? I don't know, Rand, but conquering the entire continent and turning battlefields into butcher's yards with Asha'man was not the best way to have them not fear you.

The false dragon concept is so good because from the outside there is no difference whatsoever between Logain, Taim and Rand. They are all incredibly powerful male channelers who conquered nations while rallying men with fear and who hate Aes Sedai. Many followed Rand at first because they were conquered, not because they had a choice.

Rand being so cross with Aes Sedai bonding consensually Asha'man is so funny. He bonded three women after a rather short time because he loved them, but it is inconceivable to him that maybe these men could like the women they bonded. 

To me, it's pretty evident: they are channelers and would understand each other better than a non-channeling partner, and it gives them someone to look after and be with probably till their natural death contrary to normal warders.

So it took decades for people to accept the taint when it first happened? That's interesting, particularly in contrast to our hysteria. So there was a bias in favor of men or AS that prevented people from believing they could go mad.

Cads blinding Semirhage before talking. Yes, I was wondering why so many Aes Sedai didn't think people reading lips existed. 

Ituralde, the only soldier who has my respect. We love resistance fighters in this house 

Lean POV! That is a rarity!

"I believe I owe my sanity to you" - Salidar trio, my love. They genuinely care so much 

"Odd, how a novice to be instructed could be beaten but a prisoner to be interrogated could not" - yes, how odd. I wonder if, I don't know, it means novices are too brutally and unfairly treated, maybe? Joking aside, it's because the Aes Sedai know that with Elaida they could become prisoners with a snap of her fingers.

Blood and ashes, the cell melting with Leane still inside was bloody terrifying. Quicksand! But it could happen anywhere.

"And you . . ." She glanced at Leane, then at the remains of the cell. "We will . . . have to relocate you."

"And get me a new dress as well, I assume,’ Leane said, folding her arms." - Aes Sedai are hilarious.

I am sorry, but half the Brown's quarters being swapped with the novices is so unexpected and worrying. Anything can happen. The pattern truly is unraveling.

Nynaeve POV YES THE LADY HERSELF IS BACK

It's really cute that Nyn accepted to be taught the 100 weaves only to distract Daigian and help her mourn. It's child's play to her. 

Oh Light, the male ter'angreal Chekhov's gun is still whole! That's not good.

Nyn bemoaning that trying to talk to Rand is like talking to a stone is the biggest most delicious schadenfreude. I thought she knew how to handle Two Rivers' men?

"Well . . . well, because it’s pain. It hurts."

"It should," Daigian said. "Eben is dead. Would you want to forget your pain if you lost that hulking giant of yours? Have your feelings for him cut away like some spoiled chunk of flesh in an otherwise good roast?" - Yeah, as Stepin said, sometimes the pain is all you have left

It's fascinating that Nyn's first instinct was to heal that pain, even if it's psychological.

“her feelings for Lan were genuine, and not due to a bond. He was her husband, and she loved him. Daigian had been possessive of her Warder, but it had been the affection of an aunt for her favored nephew. It wasn’t the same." - wtf Nynaeve? That's such a narrow-minded thing to think about love?!?

It's quite funny to see Nynaeve considering being in someone else's shoes at the tender age of 26. I love her but yeah, like Moiraine, she's not good at this.

Yes! Comrade Nynaeve will change the Aes Sedai hierarchy, I tell you.

"She would have thought that after all this time, he would have realized the importance of getting advice from someone a little more experienced than he." - I am staring into the camera like on Abbott Elementary. 

Incredible.

"If Moiraine hadn’t come for Rand, he’d now be dead. With him would have gone the light and hope of the world." - understatement for the ages, though I remain convinced that Moiraine was very much pulled to Rand; it just happened before his birth.

And Nyn is doubting Rand which is incredibly understandable given his power and instability. He is not the boy she knew and remembering who he was will not cure him. It can help with stopping him from hurting himself further though.

Nynaeve goes from "Aes Sedai should not have a power-based hierarchy" and "Rand needs someone with experience guiding him" to "who does Cadsuane think she is" really fast. Nyn will see a potential mentor figure for Rand who is not her and lose it.

Nynaeve is such a realistic blend of insecurities and pride, of immaturity and wisdom, of blindness and self-awareness. Her focus on Rand to provide help and solutions is welcome too. I missed her POVs. It's such a shame we have so few of it.

I am glad Rhuarc and Bael are standing up for themselves, and glader Cadsuane is here to cool down Rand. 

I am much more interested in the Aiel now that they are more reluctant to play at being Rand's private army.

"He is of the ones you call a Great Captain. I should like to dance the spears with him."

"You will not," Rand said sharply. - give over and let Bashere die gloriously on the battlefield in magnificent homosexual tension.

A Siuan POV! This book is a banquet of riches with its POVs! 

Siuan being as observant of the sky as Nyn is giving me feelings. I am so looking forward to their relationship in the show. It's one of the elements I am most excited about in s2.

Siuan deftly manipulating Lelaine and awwwwww of course Siuan's future as a leader has been evident from the start. I love these insights into what drove her to the Seat. She is ambitious; her path was meticulously calculated.

"riding with vegetables was a fate far less undignified than being forced to jounce around on the back of a horse." - oh, Siuan you ridiculous being

"She’d become something else, a woman who traded in secrets rather than fish." - one day someone will write an essay about Siuan and diaspora and exile and I will cry because it's such a fundamental element of why she believes so much in the White Tower and what makes Aes Sedai Aes Sedai.

"She and Moiraine had fought so hard to save this world, but they had left themselves without anything to enjoy in it." - fuck, wtf?!? My heart. This line goes so hard.

Also, the show brushed on it with mentions of secrets leaving Moiraine bare.

The reflection on Siuan regretting not going out into the world like Moiraine did is all the more interesting when that Moiraine ended up pretty isolated. She couldn't reach Rand or Lan or her sisters or Siuan. Now she depends on almost strangers to survive.

Siuan, for how brutal the severing from the Tower was, is a creature of networks and webs. Even broken and stilled, she easily wove ties to Logain, to Egwene, to the sisters. She was never as alone as Moiraine who traveled the continent to find the Dragon.

As good as the conversation with Bryne about Siuan’s oathbreaking is, his argument regarding his obsession is exactly that of an older man trying to find smart reasons to creep over a (supposed) younger woman. And he KNOWS he is humiliating her. Siuan can delude herself into thinking complimenting her laundry is sincere, he knows exactly how it's meant to diminish her.

Siuan with a sword to kill Elaida in tel'aran'rhiod? Yes, please?

I'll never get tired of Egwene and Siuan's conversations. I love them.

"Will Elaida’s reign of disasters never cease?" - Egwene has sass in excess to sell

My burning hatred for the "once powerful lady with now room in her life for love" trope is back. I'm irate that Siuan would be saddled with that sexist BS. Egwene offers her an angreal and Siuan refuses as if wielding more power was an obstacle to love.

"She held the sum total of his love. She was everything to him." - Perrin always thinks and writes the most beautiful lines about Faile. It's interesting how little we see of her now she has been freed.

Bawler's insistence about the Shaido Wise Ones is fishy. What does he want with them?

"He hadn’t been a good leader lately." - I am pleasantly surprised by Perrin. If he's able to reflect on how he acted during Faile's captivity, I might reconsider my previous frustration.

I am not sure how I feel about Perrin feeling he has nothing to do now. He's deeply protective, and he has even more people to protect now.

Cutting trees in a stedding? The world truly is ending.

Rand is meeting Ituralde in person to forbid him to attack the Seanchan. Again, I love you Rand, but you have approximately zero notion of self-determination. He could have gone to Ituralde with a bargain; he came with orders.

I love bubbles of evil they are so random and brutal. That poor guard being burnt from the inside out had me gagging.

It's cute how often Avi thinks of Elayne when they aren't together.

So, NOW the Aiel are actually starting to get interesting and have stuff like internal conflicts beyond the extremely convenient Shaido split? Up to that point, the Wise Ones seemed to me more or less blander idealized Aes Sedai who mothered Rand.

Yep, the Wise Ones are definitely punishing Avi because she hasn't learnt she's already a WO and still behaves like an apprentice. It's got to be something like this. This is too reminiscent of Egwene. The following Eggy chapter proves my point.

Siuan will deal with this and that: she's more Keeper than Sheriam ever was.

I love that Browns just wear clothes that have gone out of fashion centuries ago. All these details about the every day lives of the Aes Sedai are so enjoyable.

Bennae's just asking for a friend about a situation that has nothing to do with her.

Wait, only Sitters can have quarters with windows and balconies? And the description of the Yellow's quarters shows the TV writers have been paying attention.

Suana is recruiting Egwene to the Yellow? Eggy is really winning them over one by one.

"It’s about passion. If you love to make things well, to fix that which is broken, there would be a purpose for you here." - I love that. It's so fitting for Nyn.

I am really loving the description of Bennae's, Suana's and Meidani's quarters. They have so much personality!

The "I cannot say line" is also directly pulled from the books in the context of the 1st oath holding someone's tongue. Nice!

So Meidani is actually sleeping with Elaida while Elaida knows she has no choice and the BA hunters are forcing her... That's not upsetting. 

Egwene showing Travelling to Meidani! EGWENE MEETING THE BA HUNTERS

Egwene is wielding logic and rhetoric like an implacable, swift sword and the way she leaves sisters speechless is jaw-dropping. 

Chapter 12 had me so excited that I was reading while pacing my room, muttering to myself like a loon.

What's up with all these Gawyn and Ituralde chapters? Generally, there are far fewer.

That was a good Gawyn chapter for all the information it provided on warders, their relationship with Aes Sedai and their culture. It's nice to have that nuance because too often the bond is presented as something completely unilateral and not a partnership, which it is. Just because we've seen examples of abuse, doesn't mean it's always like that.

"No, he’d supported her because he’d disliked Siuan’s treatment of his sister and Egwene." - You keep her name out of your fool mouth.

At least, it's consistent with Gawyn's personality: he will criticize the Aes Sedai using him, but it's only a way to blame someone else for his poor decision-making.

Cadsuane would call Sorilea to break herself? The bonding over their desire to kill/torture Semirhage was quite fun.

Liking Cads' traps for the a'dam as well. Nice detail!

Wooof, Cads willingly put on an a'dam to find a way to escape? This woman!

In which Rand was right not to reveal how many Forsaken he killed because now he knows they can come back. It's Whack-A-Forsaken! 

Why is Moridin revealing to Rand how to destroy him? That's A Gamble, even if he's hoping to turn him.

Min: can't trust Aes Sedai who withhold information from Rand because they think it might be in his best interest 

Min two sentences after: decides to hold back information from Rand because she thinks it's in his best interest. 

Amazing.

On one hand, I feel sorry for Min because she is dismissed by others for being Rand's GF and that's shitty. On the other, she was pretty much giving him lap dances during meetings at some point, which was frankly disrespectful to his allies

Yeah, the polycule is not working: Min doesn't want to share him, Avi wants to marry Rand so that she has the same status as the others, and Elayne jumped on him the moment she saw him again so that she wasn't the only one who hadn't fucked him.

It's quite sad that Rand isn't actually closer to his friends because sharing about his voices with Mat, whose head is full of dead men's memories, and Perrin, who is a wolf in his dreams and talks to dead wolves, would help.

When Min is not treating him like a child, she's genuinely a great gf.

"Was this how it happened to all of them? Each one assuming that they were really sane, and that it was the other person inside of them who did horrible things?" - That's brutal.

I guess Min found in books that the Seals need to be broken? It's a bit random but good for her? 

The Seanchan are the definition of face-eating leopards now shockingly engaged in face eating and seeing Rand so dismissive of them is infuriating.

Sisters prune their plants on balconies so as not to deface the WT: the details! 

So, sisters wearing exclusively their Ajah colours IS a thing in the books. It just happens when there's tension inside the Tower and people want to signal their Ajah.

Egwene is quite rational about Rand and how he both changed and remained the same. 

"But this conversation wasn’t about what to do with Rand, not really. It was about Ferane trying to determine what kind of woman Egwene was." - HER MIND

As much as I am enjoying Egwene lecturing the sisters, this is feeling just a tad repetitive. Still, extremely delightful. 

Oh Light, now they are going the Wise Ones route of servitude to crush her spirit

"Aes Sedai were remarkably like Rand al’Thor; they did not like to know when they were being maneuvered." - That's because he's an Aes Sedai. They're the same at heart with the pull between pride and idealism.

Laras MVP, trying to whisk Eggy away.

Again, Egwene talks about resistance in a way that's so current.

"You are a coward and a tyrant. I’d name you Darkfriend as well, but I suspect that the Dark One would perhaps be embarrassed to associate with you.’" - I screeched like Elaida.

I love finishing Egwene's chapters in the same state as Sitters, wide-eyed and open-mouthed. 

"The Taraboner White was a thoughtful person, completely unaware that she was one of the most beautiful women to gain the shawl in years" - That's gay Cads.

I am really surprised that with the amount of physical humiliation going around no one thought of spanking Semirhage before as a way to break her. It's immensely silly, I don't even know what to say.

"Very Aes Sedai. Indignation first, implication second." - Siuan remains the best, always. Her insights, her personality, her sharpness.

Siuan shouldering part of the responsibility for the Tower crumbling because she was too focused on Rand has me in my feelings. She's such an incredible character.

The assertion that Sharina "lived" contrary to Aes Sedai because she raised a family is, uh, not great

Oh, Lelaine is making her move against Egwene. Siuan will fix this, I know it. She won’t be outsmarted.

This plot is absolutely incredible.

I feel a bit circumspect about Sanderson's quirk of making explicit so often his characters' reasoning or the way they explain what they do. We don't need Siuan telling she is manipulating Lelaine, we see that from her actions and thoughts.

Tuon talking about cleaning out the Rahad… Right wing talking points. 

Tylin was what we French call a collabo. If Beslan follows her steps and accepts the enslavement of a minority in his population in exchange for order, he is no better.

I will so enjoy the Seanchan realizing they cannot bend Rand or Egwene. Their teeth will shatter.

I have things to say about two white men coming up with a scenario where enslavement is the lesser evil, but I need to see how this ends first.

Oh well, I would have greatly enjoyed if Sanderson had left the extreme gender binarism behind, especially if Mat behaves even more sexist.

Talmanes going "Pure poetry" at Mat's rant about women was hilarious. Has he always been this funny?

“‘Incredible,’ Talmanes said.

‘Only that’s not the end of it!’

‘I had presumed that it wouldn’t be, Mat.’’ - he's become Mat's straight man. Except he’s gay.

Meanwhile Mat's POV apparently really, really wants me to know Vanin is fat?

Talmanes is a most excellent guy. Just really chill and helpful, plus dedicated to Mat. He's one of the books' soldier types I enjoy the most, because his dryness seems to come more from his personality than being a soldier man guy.

Perrin, the axe can also be used for something other than killing. And currently his hammer is used more for killing than building. I get the point of the image, I just wish Perrin would get there sooner: the call is coming from inside the house.

A very direct parallel between Rand in the dream meeting Moridin and waking up to Min, and Perrin with Hopper in the wolf dream waking up to Faile. I'm liking these echoes between the boys; they used to be more frequent in earlier books, when the EF5 would dream about each other and I missed this.

Lol, I'm going to start disliking Faile if she keeps on talking like this about what being a noblewoman means. It has nothing to do with nobility; it's about leadership. Most nobles aren't leaders.

Bain and Chiad are gai'shain to Gaul now... I hate this, so much. Burn it.

Fascinating scene between the former Shaido prisoners making a symbolic funeral pyre for the personal effects of the Aiel who died helping them, but also clearly abused their position for favours.

NONNNN, Semirhage escaped with the male a'dam!

"I am the Dragon Reborn. It is not an invasion to march against the forces of the Dark One." - tell that to Tear and Cairhien, whose political system was uprooted to be ruled by one of Rand’s allies.

"Could a man who could laugh also be the man who could face what needed to be done at Shayol Ghul?" - Rand is not having a great time. His mental state is taking a turn for the worse quite sharply this book. But yeah, I like that despite his determination, Rand so vehemently doesn't want to die.

"It would take a hard man to face his own death, to fight the Dark One while his blood spilled on the rocks. Who could laugh in the face of that?" - Moiraine did just fine! But she IS a hard woman. This is of no help to Rand.

Lews Therin at last disclosing what should be done about the bore. Give that intel!

Oh, Lan did a number on Rand with spiel about his duty being heavier than a mountain, didn't he?

Rand misses his dad as he should.

Elza is the one who freed Semirhage and now they've leashed Rand, bloody hell.

The fight was rather quick and brutal, but I liked it. We've already seen Rand against a Forsaken. But the trauma of nearly killing Min will only worsen Rand's state.

I have several questions about Rand using the True Power to kill Semirhage, but I also suspect answers will come soon.

With Cadsuane's exile, it's pretty clear Rand has fully gone Nero at this point. It was bound to happen, but still hurts.

So not only Gawyn is a fool but he is also a jerk who will harm the sentry because he couldn't be bothered to wait to meet Bryne. Up until that point he wasn't even on my top ten worst characters list.

Gawyn is a bully of a spoiled princeling.

As much as I understand that Bryne doesn't know of Rahvin's hold on Morgase, it is so sad to see that this is probably how she will be remembered by many. She doesn't deserve that kind of contempt from Bryne who speaks exactly like a spurned lover.

Shemerin found her way to the Rebels!

"There wasn’t an Aes Sedai who wouldn’t stab her sisters in the back if she thought it would give her advantage." - despite her denial of guilt, Sheriam reasons exactly like someone feeling guilty, just saying. I wonder if there's hope for her.

Halima was torturing Sheriam?!? Talking with Mesaana???

Egwene is so brave. She's beaten, locked away in the dark, waiting for Elaida to maybe execute her and still she will not bend. How much of that is still PTSD, like Rand, I wonder.

Growing a bit bored with Avi's POV tbh. There's too much waiting.

"‘No woman is ready to join us until she has declared herself ready,’ Amys continued. ‘She must present herself as our equal.’" - I was right. It was the good old "she was ready all along" trope.

Fuck you Romanda! No one deserves stilling.

Siuan and her sharp mind asking for the maps immediately. Why is she not best friend with Mat and Birgitte already?

Oh great Cockroaches!

"If Moiraine was still alive . . . Light, what would that mean? How would Rand react?" - PROBABLY NOT WELL

I didn't miss one of the EF5 thinking about something horrible and then going even "Moiraine doesn't deserve that".

Thankfully Lanfear has already been resurrected or rescued by the DO so no need to worry about fighting her.

Mat is doing his usual" I won't help Rand because I'm selfish" which means he will help him.

"I still have a few things I can show this world. If I really can free Moiraine . . . well, we’ll see" -

Happy to see that Thom still fucks and intends to keep on fucking for long

Too much banter between Thom, Mat and Talmanes. Don't like that.

As much as this whole Moiraine/Thom thing follows the proven RJ pattern of 0.5 buildup and man being 20 years older than the woman, I am not bothered by it so far? The fact that Moiraine and Thom were enough of equals in Tear to have a showdown certainly helps, but it's really not as objectionable as Siuan/Gareth

Oh, but the tavern scene in the Tipsy Gelding afterwards? So tense. Sanderson is good with suspense.

"And that’s when the screaming began." // "Burn you, Mat!’ Talmanes said" - I can't believe Sanderson passed on the opportunity to write "Talmanes screamed". That line closing the chapter is Cheeky.

Rage-fueled zombies? I wasn't expecting that.

"She’s not a woman, Talmanes,’ Mat whispered warningly. ‘She’s an Aes Sedai. Don’t think of her as a woman.’" - Mat is such a sexist jerk

Hinderstap... Bloody hell. Is this what happened to So Habor? No, it can't be. Do we get an explanation?

The mad rush to get to Thom, to the Aes Sedai, the disappearing maids, the mayor's matter-of-fact explanation, the fact that travellers can get trapped here and no one can leave... It's so violent and random. That was incredible.

"The list always began with Moiraine. That name hurt the most of all, for he could have saved her. He should have. He hated himself for allowing her to sacrifice herself for him." - you know, what? Perhaps learning that in fact Moiraine didn't die and he didn't let her down will help.

"Death no longer worried him. Finally, he understood Lews Therin’s cries to let it end. Rand deserved to die. Was there a death so strong that a man would never have to be reborn?" - Oh, Rand...

Rand is now openly threatening to kill, worse, to annihilate, people who contradict him.

Again, allowing the Aiel to take the fifth from the rich, when the population lives in poverty, without allowing any portion of that wealth to be redistributed, feels so wrong. 

They are not owed wealth that should have belonged to the people.

Rand went from "I won't kill any woman" to "I will threaten to kill every woman disagreeing with me" real quick.

I must say that I am really enjoying this subplot of Aslalam missing. The nobles seem to suspect what happened to him.

So Gawyn is even more sexist than Mat. That's an accomplishment.

Light, Gawyn is infuriating. He is so convinced that he is right and that Egwene needs saving despite her saying the contrary and he won't betray his troops even if it means casualties on both sides!

I have honestly little interest for Bryne’s lecture about choosing sides and fighting for what's right. Especially when it comes with a nice dollop of classism. Yeah, when poor people fight they often have no choice because the rich decide, but it doesn't mean they don't know what is right or wrong.

Quillin is a colouful innkeeper that should be played by Doug Jones.

"He had withered the people with a drought, he had frozen them with a sudden winter, and now he seemed determined to destroy them through sheer melancholy." - that made me laugh.

I'm not convinced Sanderson gets Cadsuane. She feels oddly unsure.

"‘I don’t rightly think I’d call that a difference, my Lord. They want to enslave every one of us, maybe execute us. They think it’s a favor to do either!’" - THANK YOU FLINN

"She has a right to change, Rand thought. What is a loosening of dress compared to the fact that I have ordered exiles and executions?" - Of course she can! Also Nynaeve is arguably the one from the EF5 who changed the least. She was already a grown woman when this adventure started with status and job. Her arc has very much been about accepting change, but she remained very true to herself.

"And thereby leave the world to break again once he was gone." -

Is Rand already beyond salvation? He's gone so far into objectification of others, imperialism and slavery apology that whether he lives or dies doesn't matter. Everything he does now will constitute a huge threat to peace and order later.

The conversation between Nyn and Rand was lovely but also heartbreaking. This Rand is very different from the one we've seen in previous books. Aloof, uncaring. 

Now he's threatening Nynaeve with exile?!? Rand don't isolate yourself more!

"She was Aes Sedai now; it had become who she was, more important to her now than being Wisdom had once been" - Quite surprising. Probably stems from Lan's influence and how hard it is for her to be seen as AS, because she's never wanted to be one.

The ghostly procession was quite poetic. And totally foreshadowing.

Cadsuane is definitely acknowledging Nyn as Rand's advisor in her place. For all her faults, she is not a fool and she knows that Nyn is their best chance to work with Rand now.

Nyn recognising Rand is extremely dangerous is refreshing. It doesn't mean he shouldn't be helped, but lots of people will get hurt if Rand doesn't get better, even before Tarmon Gai’don. Something about not adding on the injured toll.

Rand and Lan are alike bc unfortunately Rand believes in Lan's last advice without questions. Also I buried somewhere a meta about Lan being the last of the Malkieri and Rand being the last of the AoL.

Nyn is so special. She seeks out the sick and heals the child with both the One Power and her herbs. Best of both worlds! Even if I'm sad we saw so little of her evolution because she was mostly awol for 4 books, I am savoring what's implied.

Some Moiraine recognition! Thank the Light, we already know Mat is picking her up. I would have been a mess reading this. Moiraine did well, okay? She was quite level-headed about what being the DR meant and the sacrifices to come.

I love that Nyn recognized Moiraine was actually right and immediately after went "I am going to be even more annoying with Rand than Moiraine was." Good. Supporting Rand also means stopping him when he is hurting others and himself. His coping mechanisms are dreadful.

"She’d also like him to be a leader that people respected, not one that people feared. He seemed incapable of seeing that the path he was on was that of a tyrant." - yes, Nynaeve, say it! If he survives TG, many nations wouldn't be wrong to try/sentence him.

It is extremely funny to see Nyn acting every inch the Aes Sedai, ordering guards and servants, rousing the dosun of her sleep and generally plotting left and right. Surprisingly from the inside it looks less than arrogance and more like purpose, doesn't it?

I love the contrast between Nyn believing the Oath road is only a formality and Egwene believing it is what binds Aes Sedai together and make them who them are. So good.

This chapter is just classic Nyn through and through. I love it.

"Two Rivers folk needed no ter’angreal to make them honest." - Oh that is hilarious coming from Nyn. She's the least reliable POV with Mat.

The messenger had to be under compulsion and was killed by Graendal to resist like that to interrogation.

I love Nynaeve Drew's adventures. Nynaeve has much more practical intelligence than Egwene or Siuan, who have tactical/emotional intelligence. It serves her so well in these situations.

Honestly, between her love of justice and her knack for spy sniffing out she would have made a fine Blue.

"This man almost seemed an . . . interpretation of the Rand she’d once known." - That because he's written by another author. More seriously, this calls back to a thing I wrote way back to TDR regarding the metacommentary the Dragon Reborn constitutes in itself. He is a story and part of his power comes from that story. It’s a performative title.

"'You Aes Sedai,’ he finally said, ‘share much with rats, I have come to realize. You are always in places where you are not wanted.’" - That's not a nice thing to say to Nyn, and that's even more worrying considering his previous threats against Aes Sedai. It’s LTT’s influence.

Good lord, Rand completely used Nyn there. He basically tricked her to kill that poor guy under compulsion. That's horrific.

"'That’s what I am,’ Rand said. ‘A story. A legend. To be told to children years from now, spoken of in whispers.'" - Tis the motif. He's so aware that there is no salvation for him because he’s trapped in this story.

“Dream on my behalf, Nynaeve. Dream for things I no longer can.” - I have serious concerns about the way Sanderson is writing Rand, not because of the darker turn, but because his understanding of Rand is completely different, but light, that's a gorgeous scene!

Yep, far too much banter with Mat going on. It's bordering out of character.

“What did you ask? Is there someone who is taking this seriously?” - everyone regardless of personality is quipping like we're in a pop culture phenomenon.

I like the meta of Mat inventing stories for everyone. It's a sweet way for him to reclaim agency over lost memories.

I don't know how I feel about Aludra making all-powerful weapons. This seems like a massive warning sign for history repeating.

So Rand is pretty much being eaten by LTT. He's talking in the plural.

I don't have much to say beside the fact I love seeing the Seanchan in awe of Rand.

Tuon resisted the Ta'veren pull though. That's impressive!

Verin looking for Mat was just hilarious. Sanderson's Verin is much more whimsical and it's not a bad thing. The recollection of her tribulations to find Mat was a delight and it would be a joy to have an actress of Meera Syal's caliber deliver it.

"You’re Aes Sedai,’ Mat said, shrugging. ‘I figured you . . . you know, saidared it.’

‘Saidared it?’ she asked flatly." - I don't have words. What is happening to Mat?

Verin has a letter for Mat to open later? What is it with Aes Sedai and letters?

I am actually so bloody relieved the Seanchan alliance failed because Rand could not tolerate slavery. Thank the Light, I was worried.

Wooof. Rand did go nuclear on Graendal. And the gamble with the foolish noble placed under compulsion. That was chilling.

Several things to note here: a) the acknowledgement that Rand has jumped the shark and is an active threat, b) he is using far too much of balefire not to damage the Pattern c) Moiraine was right.

On the notion of handling vs. helping, someone who is ill can still hurt people. It isn't demeaning to treat mentally ill people as adults with agency. It's harsh or uncaring of Nyn and Cads to recognise that they need to mitigate the harm Rand is doing to the world AND help him.

People hurt by someone who is depressed still deserve to have their status as victims recognised. It doesn't mean the person doesn't deserve help either. But yeah, sometimes it's not the mental illness and that person is an arsehole.

"With Siuan, Egwene could be more relaxed, more her real self." - The relationship between Egwene and Siuan is my favourite of the books.

To Egwene, Siuan led her life at a breakneck speed. It's easy to forget how much of a heretic Siuan was, along with Mo.

Egwene reflecting in the Tuathan'an camp was lovely. Tel'aran'rhiod as an escape from her small cell reminds me of Peter Ibbetson.

The parallels between Rand and Egwene will never cease.

Silviana was what??! Dear Light we've completely lost Elaida.

"'Do you really think you’re in control here, child?’

Egwene met her eyes. ‘Do you want to be?’"- barely freed, Egwene already takes no prisoner.

"By the way, that dress you are wearing is green." - what, and I cannot stress this enough, the hell?!?

This is the moment I started completely losing my calm the other day btw. My notes are illegible because I was hysterical with excitement. 

Verin doing THAT just to study the phenomenon has me howling. She's such a nerd!

Awwwwww Tomas is a reformed DF looking for a way out! This is actually so sweet.

Oh, Light! Verin, you were cool before, but now you've breached stratospheric level of coolness. She's on Mars! The bravery! The long con! The sharpness! The style!

"my soul is Brown. Tell them . . ." - Second time I cried after Moiraine's letter to Rand. 

"A visit from Verin Sedai", strong contender for chapter of all time against "Honey in the tea". Nothing coherent to say. Brilliant from start to finish.

And the way she left instructions so that her life work would pay off... And Egwene will carry on. The nerves of steel on that girl.

Elaida being a pain in the neck to everyone including the BA had me cackling without end.

Are Siuan and Leane Egwene's dearest friends? She wouldn't suspect Nynaeve and Elayne of being BA.

So Egwene's plans did work and Elaida is considerably weakened as Amyrlin by Egwene's captivity. Good. Sophie Devereaux would be proud.

I've evolved past the need for notes; from now on, I will only be screeching like a pterodactyl to voice my opinion. The Seanchan attack has that effect on me.

"I’m getting her out,’ Siuan said suddenly, surprising herself." - What are you doing, Siuan?

Surprise aside that Siuan would do something so rash - she's NEVER rash, her mind is a clock -, she is so mama bear-shaped. She champed at the bit for weeks and now improvises a break-in because she knows Egwene would rather die than be taken.

The chaos in the Tower, the rage and despair the Aes Sedai are experiencing, the isolated groups desperately fighting, the Seanchan plucking the Aes Sedai like fish, Egwene teaching the novices to link to counteract forkroot, travelling to steal a sa'angreal and blasting the Seanchan... I have no words.

The only good thing coming out of Siuan bonding Gareth is the confirmation from a great general that the bond is an incredible strength booster and something warriors would seek.

I do like that Gawyn is helping her get in after getting her out though.

"That means our chances of surviving long enough to take Egwene just improved. Which is fortunate, since after what we’re about to do, she’ll undoubtedly want the privilege of killing us personally." - where does this dumbass energy in Siuan come from? Did she steal Mat's personality?

It's striking just how much the narrative positions Egwene and Nynaeve as Siuan and Moiraine's successors, with Eggy as the unbreakable Amyrlin and Nyn as Rand's Aes Sedai guide and general DF hunter, both succeeding where the former got burnt.

Blood and ashes, Egwene was magnificent. The moment she saved the Captain-General who was about to jump rather than become damane, I stopping breathing. Her inner monologue when she became a beacon of vengeance was such a fantastic echo to Rand.

The Siuan, Gareth, Gawyn expedition is rather useless since Eggy will return to the WT. I am disappointed in Siuan for this silliness. If it was a raid, which Siuan deduced, Eggy would have been safe in her cell, in which Siuan thought she was. I can't see the show keeping that.

Elaida has been captured? Ugh, I am tired of terrible women always denied trial and instead being humiliated and degraded as punishment.

So, the younger Sitters were chosen by the Ajah heads, and some were sent to stir the Rebels toward reconciliation? It WAS a conspiracy!

Fine, I will concede that I like Sanderson's writing of Siuan and Bryne's relationship better than Jordan's, but it works only better by a margin because they both got a personality transplant. Otherwise, Gareth's boner for depowered and deaged Siuan still makes me want to hibernate.

So Sheriam did lose fingers in her quest for angreal.

Wait, I completely forgot Mesaana should have been in the Tower during the attack.

Oh, the drama of the Sheriam and Moria capture, of Egwene’s plan to catch the BA. Everything is happening so fast. I love that Eggy's so driven by cold fury. It's frightening.

Aes Sedai do have a sense of honor, despite what the Aiel say. When circumstances require of them to break oaths, they will not shy away from the punishment that should be brought by the transgression. Check and balance is a core principle to them.

Seeing Nyn struggle like Moiraine did with Rand is utterly fascinating and moving. You can't be your friend's (or your partner’s) therapist.

Hurin is the Borderlands delegation! My man! I am so happy to see him doing well!

Rand threatening the Borderlanders now: that’s catastrophic. He needs them badly.

Rand seems almost shallow? Like his rage is strangely disconnected from his being or his duty. He's barely recognisable. How is he different from Elaida as he acts now? This is going to be a huge issue working with Eggy.

I wish Min had voiced sooner that her viewings would be moot if the Pattern burnt. Some have been relying far too much on her talent.

Okay, Sanderson definitely writes Cads as more cantankerous.

At last, they are finally all working together to help Rand.

Egwene beheaded the BA sisters!?! Blood and ashes! I know this is war but good lord. At least, they had a trial.

Oh, Egwene judges they had been greedy in keeping Moghedien rather than executing her? Interesting. Power is certainly affecting her.

Ngl I'm miffed Siuan damaged her relationship with Egwene for what was essentially a pointless move since Egwene is already being accepted back in the Tower.

Light, the symbolism of the gutted Hall looking at Dragonmount is the most striking image of the books so far. This should be a poster.

Silviana is her new Keeper! That's a bold move.

I teared up at Eggy's speech. She is able to compromise with the Rebels' responsibility in breaking the WT, but also won't coddle the WT AS. This is the result of centuries of failure. The AS have to learn from their mistakes: Tarmon Gai'don is upon them. All of this started because male and female Aes Sedai could not work together 3000 years ago. If they cannot fix their internal differences now, this is the end.

Sanderson seems rather disinterested in the Aiel compared to Jordan. 

Pfeeeew seing Rand debate whether or not nuclear bombing people who have the gift of blessedly ta'verenless freewill is horrifying. What the hell is happening to him?

"Bringing life to the dead was beyond him, she’d said." - Moiraine will be his second chance then. She has to help.

The Tam and Rand reunion was lovely until Rand was about to balefire Tam. The escalation in this book is as satisfying as the one in LoC.

"Lews Therin had been able to claim madness for his atrocities. Rand had nothing, no place to hide, no refuge from himself." - That's the thing with mental illness though. Your brain is affected so it cannot detect it’s sick. Rand cannot see that he has reached a point where every attempt to help will be a Hail Mary.

"If I live again, then she might as well!" - it's again one the elements that make me confident in the show. It's been introduced with Illa and her daughter already.

EEAAO agrees with Veins of gold - nothing matters, so everything matters!

Though I'm not sure I am satisfied with the conclusion that it's okay because we have a second chance? I don't disagree. I don't think the scene is as well written and brought about as it could have been. I wonder if these were RJ notes that Sanderson didn't want to touch too much or if he wrote it entirely.

If Rand's arc is about mental illness, this realisation feels quite hollow. Rand's life is the life of anyone living with a mental or chronic illness and knowing this will not go away and will probably kill him. There's no reward for the suffering. It isn't a price to pay for peace. As Tam said, everyone is caught in a web

Egwene in a cell, Rand in the box, Egwene collared, Rand collared, Egwene uniting the Tower, Rand uniting the nations, Egwene losing it against the Seanchan, Rand losing it against Graendal, Veins of gold, Light of vengeance... This was really the culmination of Egwene and Rand as separate mirroring characters.

Oh, a Rose window overlooking Dragonmount is being built to repair the wound left by the Seanchan in the Tower. And the light on the mountain is Rand. It's a stunning image. Probably making it my favourite finale with Winter's Heart.

This book is definitely in the top 3 of the series for me. I did enjoy it as much as TDR and TSR, which is very promising for the next two installments. Stylistically, Sanderson's voice is completely different, but it's also quite unobtrusive. He's still fumbling some characters like Siuan or Mat, but it was bound to happen. Nynaeve still has a half-assed arc, but it’s been a joy and a relief to see her step into her role as Rand’s Aes Sedai counselor. Mat isn’t given much to do but it remains extremely entertaining. Perrin’s plot is loitering. The complete absence of Elayne this book cements my belief that her succession arc would fit better in a side-novel like New Spring: the story feels more balanced because it's not Rand and his allies vs. Caemlyn plot. This book truly is Rand’s and Egwene’s though: their respective arcs mirror and interact so artfully, so powerfully. I honestly had my doubts coming in, but I had an absolute blast and am now excited for the next ones.

#wot book spoilers #wot book review #The wheel of time #wot first timer #the gathering storm #wot book journey #remblai #I had such a great time #as I say to everyone who heard me complain about the slowest bit: #when it's good it's really really good #again it's too long but it's for me

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E129 (March 16, 2021)

Tonight’s guests are Matt Mercer and Taliesin Jaffe!

Matt, on DMing Luc’s Revivify: “That was weird. It’s one thing when it happens because of player action and circumstances and the choices they make. When it’s entirely on me, unintentional, and just realizing different chess pieces you’ve set up, that’s rough.” It was especially rough since this was a child NPC related to a PC. “I was hoping somebody had a spell slot left.” He kept in mind that there are two clerics in the room and that they could resurrect the next day even if the Revivify went poorly. “A good chance, since it’s his first time. Okay, okay, okay, okay, I think we’ll be okay, we’ll see how this goes. It was really stressful in the moment! I did not set out to have that happen, but when I realized what was going to happen, I tried to see it through.” He wouldn’t have prevented a chance to bring him back. “There may have been an offshoot short-run series of games to find a way to bring him back. I would have found some way to correct the circumstance so the players could feel good about moving forward with the story and there was no undue punishment beyond their control.”

Taliesin on Cad’s response: “This is a big thing if you’re a cleric. It was very much coming in like an EMT. Everything should be fine... hopefully. Just focused in and got it done. The minute things started to go south it was like, okay, that’s the next problem.”

On Yeza’s feelings: “It is a very complicated situation. I think he, much like how Veth is trying to figure out what it is that she wants, I think he’s trying to help her find that while also figuring it out for himself. I think Yeza’s also noticing that because Veth’s the more active of the two of them she also takes the weight of the responsibility and the blame for things when they go wrong, unnecessarily. Especially when he himself acknowledges that he’s partially at fault for even dragging everyone in with the Conclave. As much as he’s appreciative for them coming back for him, there’s a lot of back and forth. He’s filled with a lot of regret, too, but he’s very much trying to convince Veth that it’s a burden that she doesn’t have to keep to herself, that they can share it and work through it together.” Matt mentions that, as an actor, he really loves exploring interactions between characters first and foremost. “Especially when you don’t know where it’s going to go.” He also praises Sam as a scene partner - “I really cherish that.”

How does Caduceus feel about Revivify and Speak with Dead? “Speak with Dead is an interesting middle ground, because he knows that it’s not actually speaking with the dead. It’s really just-- it’s almost medical, really. This is just reactivating a brain at a certain point. It’s practically just a muscle twitch at this point. That doesn’t really prod him in that direction. Revivify is interesting, because it had never really come up. At first I thought of it as bending the rules, but it’s not bending the rules. You knock over a plant, you replant it, you don’t stare at it and go ‘Well, that’s over.’ This is just doing the work. No, we can bring this thing back to health. This is all part of the circle of life, that sometimes we can save something. Especially given the stress that he’s put himself through over the past year of being with these people. He’s started to think of himself a bit as a battlefield medic, and triage is just part of the deal, and it’s completely acceptable.”

Did Trent really just want to talk? “Yeah, that circumstance, as it came together, Trent would never have arrived if there wasn’t an indication that there was some kind of infiltration or attack. Even beyond that, it was Jester breaking the concentration on her charm on that one guard when she created her duplicate.” The guards’ job is to inform a member of the Cerberus Assembly, and Trent lived the closest. “He didn’t know who it was, didn’t have any expectation necessarily. The minute he saw the illusion, he knew a powerful magic user was involved.” Seeing Caleb was an unexpected surprise. “I don’t think he wanted to throw down necessarily. He was more interested in figuring out exactly what the nature of this was.” Matt had multiple battlemaps that didn’t get used. “They managed to cleverly out-maneuver him in his surprise of seeing them.” The Nein rocketed up his priority list after that very quickly. Taliesin: “We’re so fucked.”

On Cad being “Uncle Caduceus” to Luc: “It’s the thing he misses most about home, is being a juvenile shit. It’s nice to be able to express that part of him again, as opposed to the serious, life-threatening, constant intensity. I’m very at home just being a little difficult.”

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Beau! (_rumor_king, photography by kourtyardproductions on Instagram)

On Marion: “Like a lot of people in this whole narrative from the beginning, getting swept up in things larger than her and trying to adapt. This is a circumstance she’s avoided for a long time. She’s having a rough time in some ways, but simultaneously, she’s enduring. Like a mother would. She’s adapting, she’s making it work. Without much of a choice, you just kind of do the best you can and lean on the people around you to help you where they can. Luckily she has a daughter there. She’s probably surprising herself at how well she’s doing given the circumstances.” Matt talks about how weird it is to feel proud of character he’s created. “Of the many things Marion is incredible at, she’s a studier of the human condition. She’s seen and heard the stories of so many. That gives her a very special perspective. She can see elements of that fractured individual within Caleb, and knowing the good that he’s brought to his friends, and knowing he’s possibly saved her life from bad circumstances, she couldn’t not speak up. She very easily falls into that role of maternal comforter, because it’s one of the many things she’s really good at, she enjoys it, and she can see well when people need it.” He’s been enjoying having Marion along for this (despite the difficult circumstances) because he was always a little sad that they only got to see her for short periods of time.

On the Blooming Grove’s safety: “He’s afraid that it’s a premonition. He’s not pinned it down, but he’s happy to let his imagination wander. He at the very least feels like there’s a reason he’s having these thoughts, and that there’s a reason to go there. He’s a big believer that these things don’t just happen. He’s more likely to think that there’s a good reason to go versus a danger to go. He’s had a couple of ominous warnings lately, and he’s not used to them and not a fan. He’s more likely to read something like that as, there is something there waiting for you that you have to discover. There is something that is going to be helpful to you, even if it hurts.”

On Astrid: “While maybe not as readable in overall personality as Trent is, I still want to be careful to not discuss things that are still being discussed within the game and tossed around as possibilities. Astrid is another complicated character, as anyone would be who’s been through the life she has. I can’t say too much. I can say she’s definitely legitimately happy to see Bren/Caleb after all this time.” His reemergence definitely caught her off guard. “We’ll have to see where it goes from there.”

On Cad’s successful Divine Intervention: “He’s definitely hit the ‘on a mission from god’ stage. He’s been that way for the entire campaign of, this, this is what I’ve been waiting for. Even when it sucks a lot, it’s been nice that those things have popped up to remind him, no, no, you’re doing it right, everything’s good. Probably not going to survive the next week, but you’re doing good! Not quite 1 in a 100 chance, but I forget so often to make that roll, and it’s such a great roleplaying roll. I don’t know how at level 20 you could deal with the fact that you can do that every day.” 

On Zeenoth getting his comeuppance: the kidnapping was a concept Marisha brought up for Beau’s backstory, and Matt went with it even though it was opposed to the Cobalt Soul’s philosophy because he knew rooting it out would make for an interesting story. “I felt it was an important beat to bring to her, because it was something that she was wronged by. And to show that there are still some good people out there who are trying to make things right.” After the tentative peace, dealing with this became Dairon’s next focus. “I was glad we finally got to it. So many people don’t have the opportunity in their lives to get that sort of justice and vindication, so if I can bring elements of that justice into our world, even for our own hope, I’m going to do that. Especially for my wife’s character, especially for a character that deserves that.” Taliesin points out that if it had come too early, Beau wouldn’t have believed it.

Cad’s thoughts on the Tomb Taker betrayal? “He knew it was gonna come at some point. There was no way that was gonna last. He was hoping it was gonna last a little longer. He was really hoping they had a vested interest in getting them all the way to the end. Nope, this is apparently as far as we go, and he was not prepared for that.” He was expecting the potential for de-escalation. “Caduceus is the only character in there that doesn’t have a history with Lucien. I think he sees him a little more clearly than everybody else does. They’re all looking for this person that Clay, at least, is of the opinion that he’s just not there. This is a very manipulative, very dangerous infernal human. Just smarter than all of them. Really aware that there is no calculating what the hell is going to happen. Conversation is the only way you can deal with someone like that.”

Fan Art of the Week: An amazing Caleb closeup! (rynn_birb on Twitter)

Taliesin on Lucien: “I’m excited he’s the one that’s going to kill us all. Poetic that this is how the game ends.” Matt was delighted when Taliesin handed him carte blanche to do what he wanted with Molly’s past. “I was like ‘shit... oh, wait!’ The character of Lucien was always intended to be an antagonist so that it would have been Molly being chased by the person who wanted their body back. But then it happened that he got his body back.” Taliesin: “He’s so much worse than I ever hoped.”

Matt, on the Holy Avenger: “I hadn’t thought to initially even give that sword.” The good roll was the only reason Kima handed that over. “Well, sure, you get the sword. It was very reactionary, it wasn’t my intent originally. I was like, well, I mean, there’s two avenues she can take with this.” Multiclass into Paladin, or lean into the fact that her subclass is essentially a barbarian paladin. “This really works out in a uniquely beautiful way. Let me see if I can lay out a path for her to earn it.”

On Cad’s attempt at lying blowing up in his face: “He was like that kid that had a really bad day in high school and was like, you know what? I’m going to let loose. This is it. I’m gonna dye a streak in my hair. And then tries to give himself a haircut and ends up with half bangs. Well, okay, obviously I’m not that person. I was feeling a little distraught and I didn’t handle it well. Maybe I’m going dark... no, I’m not going dark. Nope.” Matt mentions how much he relates to Caduceus.

Matt, on the Eyes: “What can I tell you? I’m enjoying the hell out of it. The moment they began to really push to read that book, I was like, okay, this is on you. I’m excited for the point in the narrative where the march continues back to Eiselcross. I am almost impatient - not really - because we’re on the cusp of getting to more of the meat. There’s so much to learn, so much to see, so much to explore. I love instilling my players with absolute terror.”

Thoughts on Jester’s Tarot reading? Taliesin cackles. “Molly made the cards, so. Did it to himself, he did, he did.” Matt: “Once again, another example of things working out unexpectedly and too perfectly for an improvised moment. Fuck.” Taliesin: “Bless the wisdom of chaos.” Matt: “I love that even at this point in the campaign, Molly continues to fuck with people. I’m just so proud. That deeply shook Lucien, for reasons.” Taliesin: “It’s the everlasting gobstopper smoke bomb.”

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long text post

[sinisterexaggerator]

Stars Above! | Cad Bane

Chapter 5

Fandom: Star Wars / Rise of the Empire Era / Post Bad Batch / Post Order 66

Explicit: Eventual Smut, Slow Burn, Gratuitous Smut, Porn with Plot, Canon-Typical Violence, Mildly Dubious Consent, Angst, Tatooine Slave Culture

AO3

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The bustle of Mos Eisley never quite died down, but that made it easy to go around unnoticed, to not draw attention to oneself in most cases, unless that was your business – your very purpose for being there - a prerogative of sorts. In Zulara’s case, she had the guile to slip away, the girl thinking it had just been some sort of unfortunate coincidence that a bounty hunter had been fascinated by her. He wasn’t after her per se, her friend’s choice of words was just lacking subtlety. A weight had lifted off her shoulders, though she didn’t know it was only temporary.

Or if he was after her, he was drawing out this loathsome game. Loth-cat and mouse, perhaps. Even though she wanted to believe she had escaped unscathed, the voice inside her head wouldn’t quit with its restless worry, its useless nagging, and she thought to bring it up to Kayson. She didn’t want to be a scapegoat, though what choice did she have? She was his property until such a time she could repay her father’s debt - he was worth nearly half a fortune. He had lost everything in a single hand of sabacc. The man himself might be dead before she ever paid it off. She assumed she’d still be sporting a slave collar well into her forties. She tried not to think about it. It only made her depressed, sad, and full of pity for herself.

It wasn’t to say Kayson was unkind, though he wasn’t kind either by any sort of social mores that dictated what kindness should be. He gave her an allowance, food, a space to call her own, but he threatened her with punishment if she didn’t follow his strict orders – the ones where she was made to risk her life – to risk imprisonment – and she was forced to go along with it. The only thing she could do was try her best. Her life depended on it.

The Empire was no laughing matter. Kayson sold contraband and weapons to people – people - not Imperials. They didn’t need him. His customers were a special lot. Bounty hunters, criminals, thieves, but also rebels, those that still called themselves Separatists - the sworn enemies of this New Order as it was so lovingly referred to. The Emperor himself bade for their execution; their annihilation. That meant Zulara was aiding the insurgents. It was a death sentence, outright dangerous, but Kayson didn’t care. There were credits to be made.

Zulara lightly ran a finger along the smooth side of a house. Tatooine was full of establishments and residences made up of adobe. Sand was the primary, prominent resource available on the desert planet. In many cases, it was too hot for her, unlike Twi’leks. The human side of her hated the brutal binary suns, though she easily withstood it. It was better than being cold, she assumed. She stuck to the shade most days, indoors, inside Kayson’s Weapons shop - tomorrow would be just the same.

She rounded a tight corner down an alleyway, back towards Slave Quarters Row. She was nearly home when she saw a shadow lurking, coming up behind her. Zulara turned – it was that damn Iktotchi - he had followed her this far and he was large. Much bigger than a normal man, built tough, but perchance slow. However, she hadn’t been quick enough to see him. She was lost in her irksome thoughts. He had stopped short just an inch or two, and Zulara gasped, reaching for the vibroknife.

He caught her hand, his stare steely and full of something. Malice? Sorrow? Dread? She couldn’t tell, though his horns unnerved her; he had the appearance of a demonic presence, something evil, sinister. He wore dark robes and had dark eyes to match. His grip was iron, his hands thickset and his skin rough, calloused, and made for his mountain home.

She struggled to break away, but he held on. Dramatic words escaped him, a poor choice made by him. He frightened her from the very start, though he didn’t know the outcome – his gift of precognition was somewhat lacking on this planet.

The visions that darted around inside this Iktotchi’s head were shrouded and unclear, though bits and pieces had forced him to make his bumbling move. He only knew he had to warn her. It was a feeling deep inside he could not suppress, no matter how hard he might try.

“Something terrible is going to happen to you.”

Zulara saw this as a threat, twisting her wrist against him. That leathery appendage didn’t budge, Zulara’s free arm rising, digging at his fingers with her nails, failing to pry him loose. “Let me go!”

“No. You must listen to me and do as I say, or-”

“I’m not doing anything for you!” Zulara bucked again, like a wild mare trying to escape her capture, moving to push and shove him, though he was rock solid, and her strength was inadequate. She was no match for him.

“Do what I tell you or you are going to die.” His voice came out forceful; perhaps too much desperation had been implicated. He hadn’t meant to scare her, just to get his point across. Seeing the onset of her fear made him falter and second guess himself. He would have released her, but he was afraid she would run away before he’d had his say.

“I know who you are,” he began, the gears inside Zulara’s head churning, turning, thinking on his allusion, wondering what he meant.

“I know what you’re up to,” he continued, articulating slowly. Her eyes widened, studying him for any sign of weakness. For some way out of this.

“You must never go to Corellia or-” A lariat of some kind, a whipcord, looped around this man’s arm as it was still attached to her, winding, tightening - he was forced to withdraw by some unknown force - she watched, somewhat bewitched by what she was seeing. A pale glow traveled down the length from some obscure place above. It rode along the cable, mimicking a lightning bolt until it touched bare flesh - a shock was administered - a look of pain and anguish crossing the Iktotchi’s face. The wire had acted as a conductor for electricity, reaching its prime target: the beastly being that had nearly cornered her.

He yelled a guttural sound; it was animalistic, and he was close to death. He fell face first, smoke gathering at the ends of downturned horns. His clothing sizzled; he was singed. Though he was still alive, he was incapacitated beyond movement. He went limp and quickly succumbed to unconsciousness.

Zulara had nearly screamed herself, throwing her body back against someone’s adobe abode. A figure dropped down from heaven towards the earth below by aid of Mitrinomon jetpack thrusters – they were worn untraditionally - attached to black leather boots with tips of durasteel. The ignition cut, and the figure fell, albeit gracefully, the rest of the way down to light upon the ground. He braced for impact by bending at the knees. Cad Bane had been watching the scene unfold on a nearby roof. He had business there, although he was just passing through.

The Duros species were second to none in navigation, charting unexplored territories before many others. Their routes were still in use today throughout the Empire, and rarely were they lost. Their memories could be considered photographic. Bane was on a scouting mission of his own design: cover the nooks and crannies, the residential sectors, the commercial, and the rundown spaceports. He would memorize the layout of Mos Eisley in preparation for the task he had been assigned. He held no issues with earning credits, no matter if they belonged to a power-hungry governess. He would have even hunted down that pesky Jedi had she asked him to.

The hunter had seen her from aloft. That pretty shade of purply-pink and her jet-black hair. She was unmistakable, and she hadn’t listened - she wasn’t careful. The way gazing upon her carnal contours made the Duros feel, he knew others would be tempted by her charms, her seeming innocence, or so he thought, and he would lie through his fangs before he ever admitted that he was intrigued by her.

Though his skillsets seemed inexhaustible, Bane also had a code he lived by. He didn’t just kill or severely injure people without a purpose - only when there was money to be made – to gain the upper hand, or in this case, when there was a so-called damsel in distress. Though, you might say he wasn't any better. He had kidnapped children for a Sith, roughhoused them. By any means necessary was what he told the girl Omega, and he had meant it, but the bounty for her was steep.

He may have turned the other cheek in most instances, but there was something in particular he couldn’t shake, and for one thing, he thought it ridiculous for a full-grown man to attack a woman - a gentile creature - who didn’t seem to be able to protect herself. Those like Fennec Shand who fought back didn’t count, they were professionals. This girl was young and blameless, though she had a secret harbored -  one that he was after - unbeknownst by him.

Ultimately, bounty hunting was a test of mettle, and Cad Bane didn’t cheat. Those who did were undeserving of the title and would forever be shunned by him. His opinion stretched near and far, though an independent contractor, everyone knew his name, wanted his respect. He needed no introduction.

Cad Bane reached his hand out for her. Zulara panicked. She went for the vibroknife again and managed to free it from its holster at her thigh. She lifted it, blade extended towards the Duros, but he was quick, reflexes like that of a fleet-footed feline. His species was predator and prey back on his native planet in the times of old. She was just a girl – naïve - with a lot to learn.

The blade had been easily dislodged from her inexpert grip and slapped away, the Duros tacking her entire arm to the wall behind her. His hold was tight, she couldn’t fight it. She was panting, inhaling and exhaling rapidly. To say that she was distressed would have been an understatement.

“Yer raisin’ a weapon against me?”  

“No, I-” Zulara couldn’t think straight; her words were caught, unsure of what to say to please the Duros. It had been a stupid action on her part.

Bane removed a toothpick from betwixt his lips. He brought it down and under, pricking Zulara beneath her trembling chin. He pinned it there against her, forcing her head back up. She noticeably winced. It seemed she couldn’t bear to look at him. “Yer tellin’ me m’eyes are playin’ trickss? Mine werk jus' fine, unlike yers, lil’ lady.”

“I’m sorry, I thought- Please, don’t hurt me…” The poor girl’s breasts were heaving with each anxious breath. She looked near to tears, something stirring beneath that hat of his, a feeling of slight remorse; minuscule; infinitesimal. She was hot – her temperature unlike any other species save one that he could think of - he could feel it radiating outwardly. He paused to think a moment, contemplating something.

“Ye take me fer a monster, girl?”

Zulara wasn’t sure what to say, what would be appropriate for the situation. She didn’t know how much he knew, and she wasn’t about to give the game away. Instead, she shook her head in the negative, gradually regaining some sense of bravery, though however small. Her beautiful, two-toned irises quivered behind a bed of saline fluid that threatened to tumble out, Cad Bane groaning, the sound registering low in his narrow throat.

He flung the toothpick with excessive force before reaching up with that same hand, palm flat, extended towards her chest. It hovered there, his fingers slightly oscillating at the tips as if he meant to touch her. Zulara waited, still fearful, though she couldn’t help but to think that he was handsome despite his grumpiness, or the unflattering grimace he always seemed to wear.

“Yer burnin’ up,” he commented. Zulara knew that it was true. Her mother’s kind emanated heat when stressed, her internal thermostat most likely off the charts within these few moments. She couldn’t help it; it was a biological response, inherited, and she wasn’t sure about its purpose. Her natural state was 103. Zulara could only nod again, withdrawing from his spindly fingers; they were somewhat tantalizing. She tried to push her dirty thoughts away, Pampy’s words echoing inside her mind.

He touched her regardless, without invitation. Her heart was racing. He felt it beat beneath the fleshy underside of his elongated extremities, pressing lightly, leaning forward. It warmed his skin; it felt… pleasant. She had jumped at the sensation. “Ye read like a Twi’lek.”

“I’m half,” she muttered out, his salacious baritone sending notes of lecherous butterflies throughout her stomach; there was a flutter inside her guts.

“What’s de other half?”

“… H-human,” she whispered.

“So dhat’s what Ah’ve been missin’.” That hand trailed up while the other released her arm still mounted upside the building behind her, a single digit tracing the curvature of her blushing cheek. She turned from him but didn’t try to stray. Her lashes flittered, batting her tears away.

“Such’a lovely lil’ thing. Shouldn’ be out ‘ere wanderin’ alone.” Zulara shut her eyes against his slightly rough caress, the girl wavering, though she kept standing by the aid of the earthen structure blocking her backward path. She perceived something else physical – a type of fondling - though it was gentle. He had taken up a limp strand of her hair to play with. Cad Bane enjoyed the stuff. It was soft, luxurious, and exotic by his standards. He didn’t have any, and he rarely got to touch it.

“Supposin’ Ah must scare ye…” He inhaled, a glint of pink darting across his thin-lipped mouth. She opened those twinkling jewels back up for him. Twi’leks always did smell sweeter, something about them, but human women had those soft locks he liked, not lekku. She was the best of both worlds, and he favored her.

Zulara had refused to answer, pressing those pouty lips together. He was tempted to slip his tongue inside her mouth just to get a taste. He refrained. Instead, he trailed that one hand down, his index finger gliding along her neck, her supple chest, across her bare stomach - he ghosted her belly button, encircling it once  - he didn’t have one of those either, born of an egg in his larval stage. He couldn’t help but be fascinated.

Zulara shivered at his icy touch, though she couldn’t deny it felt good. Her loins began to stir, something she wasn’t used to. No man had ever laid a hand on her. She issued a small sound, something between a whimper and plea for more. Her fright had been nearly nullified, replaced with a strange, alien emotion – one that she found she was indulging, despite everything.

“Maybe ye like bein’ scared.” He stopped for a moment at the edge of her high-cut skirt before drifting past her waistband. He snuck inward between the slit in her apparel, finding the cut of her naked thigh where it connected to her hip. He was careful not to tease too much; he didn’t touch her otherwise, her undergarments, whatever thing she had on beneath her scandalous attire, only stroking her bikini line.

The girl had gasped and grasped his hand to stop him, interlocking her fingers amongst his. They reminded him of satin, or of what clouds might feel like. He flicked the brim of his hat up in one quick motion - the bolero would have been in his way otherwise - the metal plate gifted to him by Boba left partially exposed.  He took up that accursed O-ring and pulled her forward, meaning to kiss her on the mouth, though he was sorely interrupted. Perfect timing.

“Bane! Come in! We have a bit of a situation"

The Duros growled, so close to her; he was an animal posing as a man. He ignored the droid and presented a question to her instead. “What do Ah call ye, lil’ lady? Second time askin’.”

Zulara made to speak, but the comm cut in again, a frail voice echoing throughout the silence of the alley. It obviously annoyed her current captor, his eyes narrowing at her, though directed towards the droid who had disturbed this nearly faultless moment. “There is a squad of soldiers here, sir. They tell me we are illegally parked and that they plan to tow the Justifier.”

Cad Bane spun on the heels of his steel-toed boots, releasing the girl in a fluid movement, homing in on his comlink, pressing the button that would allow him to elicit an abruptly gruff response.

“Todo! Whaddeye mean?! Dhose Imperials are de ones who bounced de landin’ coordinates offa dhat orbiting satellite! We were invited te Tatooine!”

“Yes, I know that, but apparently they do not. Perhaps the Governor did not inform everyone of our arrival?”

“Tell dhem it's my ship an' te kriff off!”

“I did try to explain things to them, but they don’t seem to believe me. Perhaps you could call Tour Aryan and set things straight for us?” Todo was momentarily distracted, speaking to another, his robotic voice sounding somewhat surprised and quite frustrated.

“I never gave you permission to – get your hands off that – oooh, you are going to be in SUCH trouble when Bane comes back!”

“Mmmrrrrmmm… Aactivate de ship’s ssecurity ssystem, don’ allow dhem near de cockpit!” A low grumble echoed in his throat, Cad then giving his instructions. The Duros finally turned on the girl he had left behind. She was gone, having snuck down some side street or another. That only annoyed him further. “Alley cat," he muttered.

His train of thought was suspended by taunting Weequay laughter. Hondo Ohnaka had dared to show his face again. Bane’s eyes darted in his direction, lips parting to brandish reptilian-like incisors and sharp canines, the man’s hands held up in offering before himself, warding off his sour mood.

“She ran off on me tuu, my friend. Don’t feel so bad. A wily one, dat girl. I’d like tu charge up her loading ramp.”

Hondo brushed his nails against his chest, baiting the already mad Duros, though he had a bit of information, something that might intrigue him and save his sorry ass, or at least make him forget about the bounty on his head for a day or two, if he had been serious. “Perhaps de almighty Cad Bane isn’t so impressive tu de ladies? Et es a wonder, for I find you quite charming.”

“Yer lucky Ah’m busy or Ah’d plug ye full of lasers!” Cad Bane’s quickdraw hand swept his armorweave duster back behind himself, revealing his Persuaders. It came back around and gripped the hilt of one LL-30 BlasTech pistol; Bane was idling, thinking.

“’Course, won’t take long te do dhat, anyway.” He withdrew the weapon, perhaps for show, though the Weequay straightened up; this would not be the first time that Bane had threatened him.

Hondo had been leaning casually, practically the embodiment of nonchalance, though he never should have let his guard down at all around Cad Bane, despite them knowing one another for a very long, long time. The Duros had an unruly temper, though he could be quick to calm under the right circumstance; Hondo would make the trade of information and use it to his advantage. 

“Ap-ap-ap! I have learned her name, and about her master... where she works. Would you like tu know?” The Weequay was resourceful, having scoured the streets of Mos Eisley, asking anyone and everyone he could think of until some half-drunk human male had told him he’d seen her on numerous occasions at Kayson’s weapons shop. He’d bellowed out her moniker to get her attention for a part he’d ordered – Zulara. It had a pretty ring to it.

”Cahn figure it out m’self.”

“But et’s much quicker dis way.”

He was met with silence; that was a good sign. Hondo continued. “Tell you what. Let’s make a bet! You’re a kind of gambling man, aren’t you? You seem like de sort, anyway. Correct me ef I’m wrong.”

“Don’ play games, Ohnaka. Naht de kind yer known fer.”

“But dis one will be fun!”

“What’ll be fun is collectin’ dhose creditss on yer head!”

“Den Iiiiii suppose you won’t want tu hear about de game our poor girl was subjected tu; her own father of all people…”

“Get on widdit!” Cad had to admit he was curious, though losing patience, thinking he might as well set the autopilot to the Justifier - bring it within range of his current location - though illegal to fly in residential airspace. He assumed Todo 360 could hold the fort down until he got there. He wasn’t entirely useless, after all, and he even sort of liked having him around.

“Lost her autonomy en a game of sabacc. Her father bet de entirety of his wealth! He refused tu pay, and en light of death, he chose tu give his daughter up instead!”

“Sounds like a real mudcrutch.”

“Well, ef dat isn’t de Jawa calling de Ewok short!”

Superheated shots skirted the Weequay’s boots; Cad Bane only missed on purpose.

Hondo danced, barely dodging the array of blaster fire. “I can tell you are en a hurry and currently du not appreciate my impeccable sense of humor! Let me be brief.” He cleared his throat.

“So, here’s what I had en mind - don’t want tu step on your toes, per se. You du have dhose, yes? You never wanted tu take your boots off when-"

The Duros simply glared at him.  “Ahem. Best man wins! I plan tu court de little vixen. Ef she so prefers my talents, you let us go, and I whisk her away from dis dusty planet! You don’t follow us and forget about de bounty on my head. Let’s face et, dat girl doesn’t deserve tu be a slave.”

The scoundrel paused, then made a perfunctory motion with his hand. “I know something about dat, seeing as how I used tu be one myself. En fact, we have a lot en common. Perhaps I can turn dis entu a bonding experience of sorts, hm?”

Cad Bane sneered, not liking his bold idea. He hadn’t laid his claim to her, but he had the desire to mark her up, that pretty skin - sink his teeth into her flesh, lay his stake on what he wanted to be his, Maker damn her master. Though, he couldn’t quite get a handle on why he cared or was so drawn to her.

“Ef you win, I don’t put up a fight and let you turn me en! De girl and de bounty belongs tu you! She will have made her choice, after all.” That was an outright lie; the Weequay could not be trusted. He would do everything in his power to escape the wrath of the infamous bounty hunter.

“Of course, I see you as a sort of … hit et and quit et kind of guy. A heart breaker. I would be one tu know.” Ohnaka took one small step forward; he was no threat to the mighty Duros, not at this moment. Hondo knew that about himself, and frankly so did Bane.

“Let me be honest with you … I’m banking on et. Girls love a gentle man, and I’m not above eating leftovers, as you are well aware.”

Cad Bane repined in the form of a fearsome sound from the bottom of his throat. He raised his opposing arm not holding the blaster pistol. Four fingers curled and activated his retractable lariat stored within his gauntlet. Before Hondo knew what happened, he was wrapped tight, limbs restrained. The bounty hunter drew him forward with a backward pull of his thin forearm, the Weequay met face-to-face with Bane, much to his displeasure.

“Wonder what’s stoppin’ me from jus’ killin’ ye after ye give me what Ah want.” His sexual innuendo had irritated him. The idea of it, Hondo between her legs. She wasn’t even his, but she wouldn’t be Ohnaka’s, either.

“De idea dat I died knowing Cad Bane es a coward who takes de easy way out tu get his way.”

A wave of his adept appendages rescinded and recoiled the lasso, letting the pirate loose, though he was so close to Bane at this moment that he could see his bone-chilling gaze up close. “Ain’ no coward.”

Hondo stared at him; his lips, raising his head to slowly look at him and the red Corusca gems he had for eyes. The man was handsome, there was no denying it. His voice came out a whisper before becoming more enthusiastic by the end. “Den, you accept! Glad tu hear et!”

The pirate smiled; it was only half-genuine. He tried to force it, but he was having trouble being his usual charismatic self. He took a step away, leaving Bane to his personal space, tiptoeing; he retreated, though his gaze never left Cad Bane.

“Zulara,” he muttered out with a hint of exaggeration, sexual in nature. “She’s employed – enslaved – by Kayson at his weapon’s shop.”

Hondo Ohnaka bowed, slipping backwards farther, zipping around the corner and out of Cad Bane’s sight. Kayson. He was familiar – he had bought a few things off him – he was trustworthy, though not necessarily a “friend.”

“Baaaane!" Todo whined, "the Stormtroopers are planning to employ an Impound Vessel.”

Kriff.  “Todo ... Hit ‘em witha sonic detonator – Ah’ll be right dhere!”

Cad Bane cut the comm off as a sudden squeal- a burst of sound waves - nearly deafened him. It had been high frequency, the best kind to make soldiers bleed, and causing intense pain in their hearing organs. It was for reasons such as this that he wore protection. He was not immune to his own weaponry.

His boots were reactivated. The residents of Mos Eisley might very well mistake him for a shooting star careening across the rooftops so late at night, but it was better than traveling by foot, or even speeder bike, as the sands held secrets, enemies, and he wasn’t currently looking to be delayed as he made his way to the outskirts of the city.

If anything happened to his ship, Tour Aryan herself would pay.

#Cad Bane #Cad Bane x OC #Cad bane x Original female characters #Hondo Ohnaka #Hondo Ohnaka x Original female characters #star wars #SW smut #Star Wars Smut #fanfic #ao3 #clone wars #bad batch #bobf #book of boba fett #rise of the empire era

[salamoonder]

alright so i was talking about this the other day in the groupchat and i cannot get over how good for each other caleb and beau are?? like there’s something...i don’t know there is something absolutely next level about empire siblings. like. okay. (under a cut bc this got so FUCKING long, what the fuck. also i talk about essek for a bit and how i think he will change their relationship.)

i’ve said it a million times but i think beau had the best possible reaction to caleb’s backstory reveal. she didn’t discount it; she didn’t treat it like nothing. she basically went “that’s fucked up, man, but you can and will do better” which i think is exactly what he needed to hear. caleb has this tendency to wallow in guilt and when you wallow in guilt it’s very easy to fall into a trap of inaction or only wanting to focus on things that will make that guilt quiet down (i.e., working on the very dangerous and perhaps impossible task of going back in time to save his parents. it’s kind of like people who are intent on doing relief work in far off countries where “real” poverty exists but who don’t wanna help the homeless people living in their own city.) beau pushes him to take his focus off the guilt quieting plans and put his focus on things that will actually be doing good for the sake of doing good. i think that’s sometimes a very difficult distinction to make and tbh beau has a very good grasp on it.

i also think this plays into part of the reason caleb still hasn’t told jester (or cad?) like okay number one, he’s scared. number two, i literally don’t think he can handle the easy forgiveness he would get from them (especially jester) and i think it would send him into a spiral of “no you don’t get it i did a bad bad thing i’m a terrible person” that might be hard to pull out of. and beau is extremely critical in general. she sees a thing she doesn’t like, you don’t have to wonder about it. “well that’s fucked up” are going to be the first words out of her mouth. caleb doesn’t have to worry about her misunderstanding the heaviness of what he’s done the way i suspect he does with the others. beau is never going to diminish how bad he feels about doing a thing; all she’s going to do is say “okay, and what are you gonna do about it?” which is THE BEST. THING. action is the best thing for depressed people oh my god. anyway.

honestly like. ok my favorite thing about beau is that despite the social awkwardness/prickliness she is genuinely *really good at people*. she understands people. i literally still cannot get over how good she is at handling caleb’s panic attacks. i think a lot of people’s first instinct w handling panic attacks is to smother, or, worse, to get just as worked up as the person panicking trying to calm them down. beau is very detached, calm, and levelheaded. she provides physical comfort/stimulus, water, and someone to talk to, and she waits. ( @thedarklordsnicklefritz pointed out recently that she’d be a very good nurse.)

now, caleb to beau: he so clearly, so obviously values her opinions and what she has to say. for all that he is “the smart one”--for all that the wheels in his head are constantly turning and for all that he has a plan for everything--he sits quietly and listens to her whenever she has something to say. he asks her about herself. he wants to know her plans and her goals. not only does he treat her like an adult with agency and ambition and ideas worth hearing, he treats her as a colleage. as a fellow scholar. and i think that beau was sorely lacking that kind of respect, especially under zeenoth. i think it’s something that she craves. even when they are at each other’s throats, he doesn’t interrupt her arguments. he listens till she’s done, and then he speaks. even if he’s growling at her through clenched teeth. he still gives her that respect.

another thing about caleb is that he mirrors the kind of love that beau shows him right back at her. leaving molly’s grave? the shit in kamordah? hand on her shoulder. here is frumpkin. here is frumpkin again. and again. and again--here is some quiet show of support, some small comfort. nothing to embarrass her or cause undue awkwardness. just, there, always. they are each other’s constants and i will literally never be over this oh my god--

okay another thing is, and this is going to be a bit touchy and i might word wrong so please be patient with me and ask questions if you have them, there is something to be said about the friendship of two people who are fundamentally romantically and sexually incompatible. like there’s a reason why “gay best friend” is a trope and there is some not great stuff surrounding it. but i also think that there is a kind of value in a friendship where you never have to worry about romantic or sexual shit coming up. there’s a certain security there, a kind of...safety. there is a safety in "i have no interest in your sex life." there is a safety in beau being a lesbian. both of them have some real baggage/struggles surrounding relationships, and this is not to say that they will never have a meaningful or secure or safe romantic/sexual relationship again. it’s just that there are unique problems that both of those will bring to them--unique problems that i think may bring them each a unique beauty and growth in working through--but nevertheless, unique problems that neither of them have to worry about with each other. their friendship is safe from that.

alright, now onto essek: i am really worried/intrigued for what he will mean for their friendship when they get back to xhorhas and have to deal with him. i think they both see him very differently, and i can’t see them getting through...*waves hand* “punishment” and whatever that means, without another blowup fight and serious hurt feelings.

i think caleb quite clearly sees himself in essek; i don’t think i need to lay that comparison out for anyone, honestly the whole 97 speech sums it up pretty well. what i would like to say is i think caleb has found hope in essek, for essek, in a way that i don’t quite think he’s managed to do for himself yet. like he’s gotten a lot better, but i think a symptom of getting better is that you see your flaws more clearly, and i think that’s very much happening to him right now. i think he sees himself as the same (or possibly even worse), regardless of how far he’s come. (see “i am ruined” to fjord.) i think essek is a mirror for him in which he sees himself more clearly without even realizing that that’s what he’s doing. he sees a selfish person who has done selfish things and hurt people in the process. and he also sees someone with a conscience and empathy who is extremely capable of doing real good. he sees someone with potential. someone with kindness in his soul. someone who could take his guilt and turn it into action, maybe to soothe some of that guilt the way caleb started, and maybe to eventually leave that behind, and do good for the sake of doing good. he sees someone in pain who is in need of support and a friend like beau to nudge him in the right direction.

and beau sees someone who has done selfish things for selfish reasons and does not show nearly enough remorse for it. she sees someone who has caused death and pain out of carelessness and pride and misplaced judgement. she sees someone who values his own gains over the lives of others and justifies that to make himself feel better, and i think that’s exactly the kind of authority figure that beau hates most. she sees someone who better fucking prove that this remorse is real or so help me god i’ll show you what remorse is.

and i think caleb (unfortunately like so much of this fandom with various characters) has latched onto essek as this mirror of himself, and i think at this point any judgement that beau passes on essek will reflect unfortunately on caleb. and the worst part is, beau isn’t going to see that. she wasn’t there for the razor speech. i think to her it’s obvious what she thinks of caleb: he’s a person who’s done some fucked up shit, sure, but he is someone who cares deeply about getting better and has proven himself to be a kind, unwavering person over and over again. he’s more than alright in her book. whereas essek hasn’t really done anything to win him anywhere near the same kind of rapport with her. clearly, in her mind, they are different. why should they be otherwise?

but caleb is going to hear any criticism and, i think, just apply it straight on to himself. i think he thinks that he and essek are so similar that any cut towards essek is a cut towards him. i think he is going to be deeply hurt, i think it’s going to feel like a betrayal--like a revocation of the trust that beau has in him--and i think beau is going to have no idea.

#beauregard lionett #caleb widogast #essek thelyss #the mighty nein #critical role #meta #thane watches critical role #look normally i dont give a flying fuck how many notes anything gets #but i will cry if this flops i put way too much work into it i need to go lie down

[conceptstage]

For the Brotp prompts 2 (Sleep Over) with the empire siblings? I love that depressed wizard and nerd monk so much

Beau barged into his room without warning, throwing open the door so hard that it clattered against the wall and bounced back.

“I’m sleeping here tonight,” she said, leaving no room for argument. Caleb scrambled to pull his nightshirt on, as he’d been halfway through changing, and glanced at Veth on the second bed who was packing a care package for her son but she looked just as lost as he felt.

“Uhhh,” Caleb stuttered, looking back at Beau as she shut the door behind her. “Why? Not that you are not welcome, of course, but-”

“I never should have-” She cut herself off and breathed out angrily through her nose before speaking again. “Those motherfucking tarot cards.” She started pacing the floor in front of the door. “She wanted to pull some cards for me and I said no and she got pouty so I said yes so she picked out some cards and told me what they meant and I said ‘You just made that up, you can’t treat it like fact and expect me to make life decisions based on that shit’ and she got pissed and so here I am.”

“Jester?” Veth asked.

Beau rolled her eyes. “No, it was fucking Vess Derogna in my room fucking around with cards- Yes, Jester.”

Veth frowned and crossed her arms. “Well, just for that you don’t get to sleep in my bed.”

“Like I care, you fart in your sleep anyway. I just need some floor space.”

Caleb cleared his throat, trying to defuse the tension between them before there was another argument. “Beau,” he said and she looked at him, her gaze and tense shoulders softening slightly. “The bed is big enough for us both, we can share. I don’t mind.”

Beau sighed, the furious tension leaving her body in a single breath. “No, man, it’s fine. What I really need to do is calm down and then go talk to her but we all know full fucking well I’m not well adjusted enough for that shit. Sleeping on the floor is, like, penance for being an asshole to Jester.”

“The cards are a sensitive subject for you, you don’t need to punish yourself for that.”

Beau avoided his eyes, rocking back on her heels. “You been talking to Caduceus, haven’t you?”

He didn’t let her get away with the deflection. “Sleep on the bed. Please.”

She opened her mouth, probably to object some more, but then she groaned and shook her head, climbing into the bed without further complaint. She was still huffy, turning to stare at the wall with her knees tucked up against her chest. Caleb glanced over his shoulder at Veth, who shrugged helplessly, then climbed into the bed behind her, turning so that they were back to back.

Veth fussed around with her box for a moment then pushed it to the end of her bed and blew out the candles. The room was draped in darkness and Caleb heard Veth shifting around to get comfortable in her bed. The room was silent for a few minutes, just the sound of crickets outside the window and the occasional whinny from the horses in the stables nearby, until Caleb heard Veth’s quiet snores.

“Sorry,” Beau said suddenly and Caleb startled in surprise.

“What?”

“Sorry,” she said again. “For being an asshole. Stealing half your bed, whining about fucking tarot cards like it’s the end of the world… Also I know I snore like a motherfucker so I’m sorry for that in advance.”

Caleb huffed a quiet laugh. “I am used to your snoring by now. As for the cards, I don’t think that you were in the wrong there. I know that Jester is excitable and wants to share it with you but…”

“I know she didn’t mean anything by it. I just…” She sighed and turned over onto her back, folding her hands on her stomach and staring sightlessly at the ceiling. “Maybe there is something to this destiny bullshit, maybe I was destined to be this way.”

“What way is that?” Caleb asked, also rolling over to his back so that they were pressed shoulder to shoulder. It seemed like Beau was in a talkative mood, he wanted to encourage it.

Beau shrugged, still not looking at him. “I don’t know… Broken. Most people know what’s right and wrong without having to think about it. Me, I have to create a flowchart in my head to figure it out.”

Caleb waited for her to continue but she seemed to hit a stopping point. “Do you know the real difference between you and those people?” She didn’t respond. “Practice. People are not born knowing right from wrong, they are taught. And people like you… and me…” Now she looked at him. He knew that she could probably only make out his silhouette but he could imagine the feeling of her eyes boring holes on the side of his face. “... We were taught wrong. Learning new ways takes practice. It is not an innate talent, it is a skill to be cultivated.”

She was quiet for several heartbeats. “You really have been talking to Cad, haven’t you?”

Caleb smiled a little and turned his head to look at her dark shape. “He is full of helpful advice. And I have found that he tends to be correct.”

Beau rolled over again so that she was facing him. She sighed and Caleb felt it in his hair. “We should get to sleep. We got a long day of shuffling through snow to look forward to tomorrow.”

“Oh, joy,” he grumbled and, though he couldn’t see it, he knew instinctively that she had smiled at that. “Good night.”

“Yeah. Night.”

#critical role #critical role fic #beauregard #caleb widogast #empire siblings #brotp prompts #Anon

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Mood. I miss Esmeralda (my old car) but she was kind of bad luck. ANYWAYS TO DISTRACT YOU, I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT JAYNA AND MAUL’S FIRST MEETING IN DETAIL

Oh jeez, um...alright, I haven’t written out the full scene yet, but I can give you the basics and maybe some snippets of dialogue?

Okay, to set the stage here’s the basic run down of where everybody is.

Maul has just started to take over the crime syndicates in order to take over Mandalor.

Meanwhile, Jayna has been imprisoned by the Hutts after being betrayed by Cad Bane.  Bane usually would hand a Jedi straight to the Dooku, but given that she is not officially a Jedi and feeling a strange sort of obligation to give her a fair shake, he gives her to the Hutts to deal with. They’ve been using her for entertainment in the fighting pits as they decide what to do with her. 

Once Maul takes over the Hutts, they offer them some of their best fighters as a peace offering.

Jayna is brought out for a demonstration against another opponent.  She quickly wins.  So quickly, it’s not a very entertaining fight.  The Hutts move to punish her, but Maul stops them, easily recognizing her as not only force sensitive, but trained as a Jedi at some point in her life.

He then insist on fighting her himself, even allowing her back her lightsaber in the process.

They circle each other at first, Jayna recognizing what a red blade and force sensitivity generally means while Maul just wants to get a proper feel for his opponent.

“You’re really are a Sith, aren’t you?” she said, more out of the need to buy herself time than actually know. “I thought there could only be two.”

“There are only two,” Maul replied, his voice low and dangerous. “A master and an apprentice.”

Her eye traveled up to the gawking crowd and the all too obvious Zabrak standing tall and in front. A small smile curled at her lip.  She could use that. 

“So, you’re the apprentice,” she said, keeping her voice casual.  “Dooku finally kick Ventress to the curb?”

Anger flared through the force, hitting her hard as Maul’s eyes blazed.

“Dooku is a pretender,” he growled.  “Do not speak of things you cannot understand.”

She shrugged.  “Hey, your business is your business.  I just wanted to know how embarrassing this is going to be for you.”

His lip curled into a snarl, her only warning before he charged. She blocked the attack easily, buckling slightly under the force of strike.

Well, she got what she wanted.  She made him mad...perhaps that wasn’t such a good idea.

They continue fighting for a while. Maul calms enough to properly test her skills while Jayna is trying her best to keep herself alive.

It becomes clear Maul is better with a lightsaber, but Jayna knows how to improvise and think on her feet.

When disarmed, she uses rocks, sand, and even the platting around the pit as weapons.  Anything she can get her hands on she uses.

It proves ineffective as Maul eventually disarms her and leaves her pinned beneath him with a lightsaber to her throat. However, before he can declare a true victory, he feels something sharp pressed between where fresh meets metal.  He looks down to see Jayna holding a shiv to his stomach; draw.

Maul is satisfied, and tells the Hutts that Jayna is all they need.

Jayna is, of course, still not happy about this, new arrangement and tells him very plainly that she will never do what he asks of her if he expects to keep her as a slave.

Maul recognizes this, and tells her he can give her power.  She surprises him by telling him she’s not interested in power.

“All crave power,” Maul insisted.

“I don’t.”

“Then tell me little hunter, what do you want?”

She scoffed.  “What I want is a shower, some clean clothes, food if you have it, and enough credits to get me as far away from this rock as I can.”

He shook his head is disappointment. “Such lack of vision.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh really great exalted Lord of the Sith, what vision am I so lacking?”

“The chance to change the galaxy,” Maul offered, in a tone which left no room for argument.  “You are powerful, whether you wish to accept that power or not. The Jedi recognized it. The Bounty Hunters recognized it. Even these pathetic wastes can recognize power when they see it. And yet, here you stand, knee deep in the filth. Join me and I can give you a true purpose. You can be instrumental in changing the course of history and shape the galaxy to your own choosing.”

Jayna shook her head.  “You really don’t get it do you?  I don’t care.  I don’t care what the galaxy looks like or who shapes it. I just want to go my own way with nobody ever telling me what to do.”

She turned to leave, but not before Maul played one last card.

“If not power, then what of revenge?”

She stopped, glancing suspiciously over her shoulder.

“The Hutts told me of your capture,” he said, his tone radiating confidence.  “You were quite the reliable little hunter for a time, until your own betrayed you.”

“So?”

“What if I were to ensure you found him enabling you to deliver whatever retribution you deem appropriate.”

“And after?”

“I would require you skills for a time.”

“How long?”

“As long as they are needed.”

Jayna’s lips pressed into a fine line.  “Credits?”

“More than you can spend in a lifetime, if we are successful.”

“There seems to be a lot of “what ifs” in this deal.”

Maul gave her a patronizing me.  “It’s either me or you walking out of this palace with only the clothes on your back.”

She huffed out a laugh, shaking her head.  What choice did she have? 

“I still want that shower,” she said, dryly.  “And food.”

Maul’s lips curled into a half smile. “Then I believe we have an agreement, little hunter.”

He held out his hand.  She took it carefully, making a point to stare him straight in the eyes as she did.

“One more thing,” she said, almost casually.  “That’s the last time you call me “little” anything.”

And that’s all I got.

#star wars #the clone wars #darth maul #maul #darth maul x oc #maul x oc #darth maul x reader #star wars oc #sw oc #jayna dar #my oc stuff

[unicyclehippo]

Prompt~ since the crush-reveal nott has been watching more closely and can see the cracks in beau’s facade (Also sidenote love love love your work mate sending good vibes from across the ditch ☺️)

ay mate, all good vibes yeah? how’s it hangin?

//

‘that went well, i think!’

jester. nott would’ve guessed it came from her even if the words hadn’t been so distinctively painted by her accent. they’re not just optimistic, cheerful; in the face of the absolute shit show - literally - that just went down here in the sewers beneath the city, it’s borderline pathological to be so optimistic. unless, of course, the person were jester and they were lying through their teeth in an effort to cheer up their friends.

‘yeah,’ beau calls from where she’s leaned against the slimed walls. she doesn’t seem to notice the slime, or maybe it just doesn’t matter when she’s already kinda coated in shit. ‘definitely could’ve gone worse.’

‘how?’ fjord groans.

‘one of us could’ve died.’

‘okay, good point, fair point. help me up?’

it’s hard to hear over fjord’s whining, but nott thinks she hears a wheeze, a stifled little something from beau when she offers him a hand, hauls him to his feet.

‘you good?’

‘no need for the tone,’ fjord grumbles, drops her hand, wiping the slime onto slime covered pants. ‘i didn’t see you half drowned to distract the fucking thing.’

beau grins a crooked grin, red staining between her teeth. ‘it had two heads, fjord. you know that, right?’

his shoulders slump. ‘so i didn’t even distract it. great.’

‘i mean. you distracted half of it,’

‘super. super great. just what i wanted to hear. great. count on you, beau,’ he says with a mocking little wag of his finger, ‘to give it to me honestly. nothing but blunt fucking honesty from you, eh?’

if she weren’t watching as closely as she is, nott would miss the flash of guilt and confusion and, so so fast nott almost think she imagines it, hurt. and then beau is shaking her head, clapping him on the shoulder.

‘shut the fuck up,’ she laughs. ‘un-poison yourself, oh paladin. cad looks like he’s two seconds from begging to heal you, go on.’

‘huh? oh—hey caduceus, would you?’

with jester tending to caleb and yasha, and caduceus with fjord, nott sidles up beside beau.

‘he didn’t mean it,’ she finds herself saying.

‘huh?’

‘fjord. that whole honesty thing,’

‘yeah he did.’ beau doesn’t look upset that nott was trying to lie; if anything, she looks amused. ‘it’s fine, it’s whatever. he’s not wrong.’

‘hmm.’

‘what hmm?’

‘nothing, nothing.’

beau sighs. ‘i’m not in the mood for guessing games. say what you wanna say or go fawn over caleb.’

‘i’ll go make sure he’s okay, definitely,’ nott corrects her.

‘great. go on.’

‘in a moment. are you okay?’

‘i’m fine,’ beau lies. she shifts. hisses. clutches to her side and as the fabric shifts, nott can see the great claw marks in her flesh.

it’s strange, to be privy to beau’s weakness. not that being injured is a weakness, gods know every one of them has been close to or over that line before. but beau never shows it if she can help it. it almost fills nott with a weird sense of pride, knowing that beau sort of trusts her of all people; and then it makes nott’s stomach drop down down down so fast she’s sick with it and her hands come up, to defend, to fight, to fix whatever she can.

‘holy shit! beau,’

‘it’s fine,’

‘no it’s not! that’s the opposite of fine!’ nott shrieks.

beau clamps a hand over nott’s mouth, careful of the teeth. ‘shut up! do you want to attract more of those things?’

nott shakes her off. pitches her voice low again. ‘you’re fully two centimetres from being fully gutted! that’s not fine! that’s like saying a cyclone is fine weather! that’s like saying avantika was pleasant! that’s like-‘ beau waits for a third analogy, vaguely expectant and even more vaguely amused. ‘you need to get that healed.’

‘it’s fine,’ beau insists. ‘i’m still on my feet, aren’t i?’ she takes a few steps, hands spread wide as if to say, see? ‘besides, cad does his best healing when we’re unconcious.’

‘so you’re, what? just gonna wait until something knocks you down?’

‘i mean,’ beau shrugs. ‘yeah.’

‘that’s stupid.’

‘gee.’

‘no, i mean it, that’s a terrible idea.’ judging from the way beau’s eyes slide away to the side, away from nott’s prying stare, she knows it too. ‘are you punishing yourself for som-‘

‘no,’ beau snaps.

nott squints and stares and slowly nods. ‘alright. i believe that. then why?’

her cheek ticks, jaw clenching. when it happens again, nott realises that the girl is chewing on the inside of her cheek. it’s weird for that to be the thing that does it but the gesture is oddly familiar, reminds her of a young and nervous veth, and staring up at this girl literally covered in shit and blood, face pale beneath the muck, nott realises again that beau is all of twenty something and, as far as she knows, has had shit all in her life until the nein came along. nott can understand that, to a degree, but she at least had had her family and her husband until the goblins took her away.

‘they’ve got limited spells,’ beau says. ‘i keep track of this shit. tactics, y’know.’

‘so you’re playing the sacrificial knight, are you?’

‘i don’t intend to die,’ beau scoffs. ‘i’m just making sure that when we actually need a heal, there’s one for us.’

nott narrows her eyes. ‘you’re worth a heal, beau.’

‘that’d be a first.’ beau didn’t mean to say it. nott can tell by the way she flinches, then winces. she reaches toward nott. ‘don’t - you can’t - i didn’t mean that,’

‘i won’t tell a soul,’ nott promises. ‘if you ask her to heal you right now.’

‘nott,’

‘you’re of no use to us dead. go on now. shoo, shoo,’

//

she’d nearly forgotten about the shit monster and her sudden shitty understanding of the girl a few weeks later when it became increasingly clear they would have to head to kamordah.

beau had disappeared partway through the revelry of another job well done for a lovely amount of coin, and it isn’t until the wee hours that she returns, a fat lip and bloody knuckles the only sign of what she might’ve been up to.

nott sets her tankard down with a thump, watches as beau’s human eyes try to peer through the darkness to find her.

‘have fun, did you?’

‘nott.’

‘detective nott brenatto,’

‘that’s new,’

‘trying it out,’ nott tells her, words and fear of it mellowed a little by the sweet and very ineffective mead she’s been drinking. ‘get it all out of your system?’

beau slides onto the stool next to her. presses a brutal thumb to the split skin on her first knuckle. ‘most of it.’

‘wanna talk about it?’

‘nothing to talk about.’

‘wow. wow. lying to your best friend. i get it. wow.’ nott allows herself a small victory smile when the comment makes beau snort. ‘kamordah, huh.’

beau goes still as a statue. casts a sideways look nott’s way, who catches it, a raised brow her only reply.

‘i’m scared,’ she says.

nott barely contains a flinch. seeing it, knowing it, is one thing. beau saying it is quite another. ‘i’ll kill him for you, if you want. just say the word.’

beau snorts again. reaches over the bar top for a mug—not seeming to care whether it’s clean or dirty—and from a wine skin on her hip she pours herself a glass. it smells like the worst wine, a copper a barrel type casked wine, and beau drinks it down like it’s fresh water in a desert.

when she speaks, her voice is a little hoarse and nott doesn’t know whether that’s from the wine only a step above acid, or because she really doesn’t want to say what she’s saying.

‘it’s not him. it’s me.’

‘right. i’ll believe that never.’

beau treats her to one of those rare smiles, the actual nice ones. not the ones she practices with fjord but the real ones. a little awkward, a little crooked. jester smiles, nott has been thinking of them as, since she only smiles like that for jester. nott’s eyes gleam as she takes in the rarity, tucks it away mentally with the rest of her treasured items.

‘i don’t mean he’s not an asshole. he is. i’m just—‘ she swipes her fingers in a ring of whatever liquor has been left on the counter, drags the circle outwards into two horns and a little tail. ‘i’ve been trying really fuckin’ hard to be better or whatever, leave every place better than we found it, and—‘

‘you don’t think you can do that there.’

beau shrugs. ‘i don’t want to.’

nott hums in sympathy. ducks a little to take in the entirety of beau’s scowl. ‘that doesn’t make you an asshole, you realise.’

‘kinda does. if i’m picking and choosing the places i get to leave better.’

nott considers that for a minute. then sighs, reaches up to pat beau’s shoulder. ‘mollymauk was a lot of things,’ she says, ‘and he talked a lot of shit. but he was a good guy.’

‘yeah. he was.’

‘and i think if he were here, and listening to this, he’d say fuck that place.’ her vehemence startles a laugh out of beau, brings a little glint to clouded eyes. ‘fuck that place, fuck thoreau, and fuck kamordah. you’re one of the mighty fucking nein! you’re the only thing in kamordah worth a damn thing! and if you want us to burn the place to the ground, we’ll fuckin’ do it!’

‘the wine is actually really good, and pretty expensive,’

‘okay, well, steal the wine first and then burn it to the ground. i can improvise, i can adapt.’

beau shakes her head, laughs again. it’s a snotty laugh and nott doesnt bring attention to it, or her suspiciously wet eyes.

‘thanks. i’ll keep it in mind.’

‘you do that.’ nott pats her hand. jumps down off her stool. ‘see you in the morning.’

‘yeah. see you.’

#cr tag #prompt fill #tagging my stories #not rly anything abt beaujester exactly #just sort of a nott & beau are actually p good friends #sorry if this jsnt so good it is nearly 11 i am a bit tired i tried my best

[mollymauk-teafleak]

Help Wanted (final chapter)

Thank you so much to everyone whose enjoyed this fic! Writing it has been a real joy and a relief right now, especial thanks to @minky-for-short​ and @spiky-lesbian​ my lovely beta readers!

Please consider leaving a comment on Ao3 if you’ve enjoyed this fic!

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

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Fjord and Caduceus get the happy ending they deserve

WARNING: This chapter deals with physical domestic violence, it doesn't happen on page but the results are seen. Also, conversations around internalised homophobia

----

“Are you really going to let him leave without saying goodbye?”

It was all Yasha had said to her that evening, since she’d come storming in after her disastrous ‘conversation’ with Fjord. Not at first, of course, both of her girlfriends knew better tha to approach her when she was in a mood like that, giving her space to burn her anger away. Jester, of course, had immediately crept onto the sofa as soon as the coast was clear, wrapping her soft arms around her and not asking for an explanation, just holding.

Yasha didn’t speak her love through touch as much as Jester, instead there was a cup of warm tea in front of her all of a sudden and the strong, sure presence behind her he knew so well, a hand on her shoulder.

And those words, in her quiet, level voice.

Jester looked like she wanted to say more, that expression on her face like she was just full of words and was about to burst, until Yasha laid a gentle hand on top of her head and suggested that maybe she could go and help her make dinner. The tiefling bit her lip and flared her nostrils but eventually nodded and hopped over the back of the sofa, Yasha turning after her and leaving Beau with those words.

“Are you really going to let him leave without saying goodbye?”

Not admonishing or judging, there was none of that in her tone, as steady and sure as the sight of home from a long distance. It was just another moment where Beau felt her girlfriends knew her better than she knew herself, like they saw what was under the anger at the surface, the anger that many would assume was all there was to her. So many that sometimes Beau would believe it.

Because of course she wasn’t going to let her best friend go for gods knew how long without a goodbye. She couldn’t have their last interaction be them screaming at each other on a street corner, throwing words like weapons. No matter how she felt about his choices, he was still her friend. They’d been through far too much to leave it like that.

It had just taken her up until now to realise it.

Sighing, Beau unfolded herself and stood up, heading for the door, “I’m going to go to Fjord’s.”

Relief flooded Jester’s expression and Yasha gave a small nod, “We’ll have dinner ready for when you come back.”

Beau gave them both a rueful smile, taking a moment to admire the simple domesticity of them with Jester chopping carrots and Yasha stirring a pot on the stove. She couldn’t believe this was her life now, after so much time believing she was undeserving of anything half as lovely. A square window of warm yellow light on a dark street, always there for her.

And she would repay them by continuing to get better.

Beau shouldered on her jacket and slipped her feet into her comfy walking trainers, already planning out what she was going to say, how she was going to rescue the clusterfuck that had been their last interaction. At least it wasn’t the first time they’d had to do this, they were practically experts at navigating their way back to friendship after both letting their anger do the speaking for them.

She was a second from putting her hand on the door when someone knocked on it.

Frowning, Beau opened the door and sucked in a sharp breath.

Fjord stood on their doormat, panting heavily like he’d run there. A gym bag sat at his feet, haphazardly stuffed and hastily zipped. He was shivering in just a t-shirt and jeans, the cold night air turning his joints a harsh, dark green, arms wrapped around himself protectively and his eyes red and raw.

And an angry swelling around one streaming eye.

“I…” his voice was raspy, like he was struggling to get the words out, “Um, I broke up with Avantika. Can I sleep on your couch tonight?”

Fury flooded Beau within an instant, her jaw clenching hard and her hands turning into white knuckled fists. Adrenaline snapped hard in her chest, making her voice a low growl, “I’m going to kill her. I’m going to fucking kill her.”

Fjord closed his eyes, shrinking down, looking so completely defeated, like a man with water up to his jawline and rising, “Beau...please, I...I just need a friend right now. Please?”

Beau found it hard to control her emotions, as a rule, particularly negative ones. They seemed to take root in her, in her muscles and chest and nerves, and take over until it was so hard to care about anything else.

But the one thing Beau did care about more than anything was the people she loved.

So she inhaled deeply, feeling it fill her up, as the monks had taught her. And as she exhaled, her jaw unclenched, her fingers spread and palms opened.

“Of course,” she reached out and put her hand on Fjord’s arm, gently bringing him inside, “Jester can have a look at that eye and we’ll make a bed up for you. Stay as long as you like, man, seriously.”

Fjord’s lower lip trembled and he bit down on it, hard, just nodding.

“Hey,” Beau murmured quietly, dropping her voice before folding him into the attentions of her family, the wide eyes and gasps and immediate action, the realities of his healing, “You’re safe here. Okay?”

Fjord gave a shuddery gasp and in it Beau could hear every time he’d let something slip as a teenager about the realities of the Asylum, every disastrous break up with women he couldn’t force himself to love, every impossible rule he’d been given to live by, every nightmare and flinch away from a raised voice, every scar he’d been given by so many people. She heard a lifetime of hurt start to shift like an earthquake starting to stir.

“Okay,” Fjord breathed, tears starting to fall.

Caduceus stayed in bed far past his alarm, lying on his side and listening to it’s dull buzz in the predawn gloom. He’d been awake long before it sounded but now it had, he couldn’t bring himself to move.

All he could do was replay the kiss over and over in his mind, the last moments he would ever spend with Fjord. He frantically searched for something, anything he could have done to change the outcome, changing his words and actions over in his mind like puzzle pieces he couldn’t make fit. Was there any way he could have kept Fjord close to him, taken the fear out of his eyes, any way he could have turned him around in the darkness?

He knew it would do no good but he couldn’t stop his mind chewing it over, punishing himself for every choice and everything he could have done differently.

It was as if the clocks had turned back on him and he was the firbolg he’d been two years and change ago. The one with weights on his wrists and ankles keeping him pinned to his too small bed, lost and depressed and scared to go out into the loud, foreign city he didn’t know, endlessly punishing himself for leaving too soon, for leaving too late, for leaving full stop. Falling before he’d even taken his first step, building walls around himself when he’d worked so hard to be free.

He couldn’t bear that again. So Caduceus did what he had done two years ago and touched the earring that looped through his right ear. He’d always played with his ears as a child, running his fingers over their soft edges to calm himself whenever he was anxious. Apparently he’d done it as a baby too, when he’d been born with the largest set of ears any of his family had ever seen on a newborn, so the story went. So when he’d been thinking where to set his mark of the Wildmother, the choice had seemed obvious.

He ran his thumb over the carved, polished oak, following the whorl of the wood and took a deep breath.

“Please give me strength,” he murmured, “I’m going to need you to get through today. And...wherever he is, please protect him. Please make sure he’s okay.”

And then he got up, far from ready to face the space in the cafe beside him that would always feel empty, but at least able to try.

He tried to focus on simple things, once the door to the cafe had closed behind him, letting out it’s usual cheery ring.

Take off your coat. Hang it up. Take out your apron. Put it on, double knotted at the front. Take the first chair down. Then the next. Then the next.

Simple instructions for an exhausted brain and an aching heart. And it worked, for a time. It stopped him thinking about how Fjord would be coming up the street right now, how the bell would seem extra bright when he pushed it back. How he would call out a friendly hello and probably use some slang term Caduceus wouldn’t understand but he would put together from context. How he’d be wearing shorts, even in the cold and Cad would tease him for it and Fjord would jokingly call him his grandmother in return. How he’d help him take the chairs down, going twice as fast as he did, asking when Cad would be putting the croissants in the oven because it just so happened he’d missed breakfast that morning, just a coincidence. How he’d call him Caddy and be the only person who ever had.

Maybe it wasn’t working as well as he’d thought.

Fortunately, the ringing of the bell above the door gave him something else to think about.

“I’m sorry, we’re not quite open yet,” Cad straightened up, “But if you’d like to take a seat, I can get the kettle on…”

“I think I’d like that,” Fjord answered, his voice small and hopeful, “If you had the time.”

Caduceus froze, eyes widening, wondering if he was still back in his bed, listening to the alarm and had finally drifted to sleep. But he never would have imagined Fjord like this, looking so tired and hollowed out, with a fading, sickly yellow shadow over one eye and a fresh scab on his lip.

The marks were all he could see, hand lifting to touch them, heal them without question but he forced himself to stop, “Who…”

Shame darkened Fjord’s expression and he hunched his shoulders, “Um...Avantika…”

Cad’s jaw dropped and he felt a pit of disbelief open up inside him, quickly filled by an anger he’d only felt rarely but when he did, it was like a forest bursting into flames, “What?”

Fjord winced, “Don’t worry, I’m done with her. I mean it, for good. She’s leaving anyway and...and I just want to let it go, okay?”

Cad quelled his anger, tucking it away to examine later, “So...she’s going and you’re…”

Fjord smiled then, even as it clearly tugged painfully on his lip, “I’m staying.”

Cad blinked, shaking his head slowly, wanting to believe it so desperately but terrified of being hurt again, pulled in two directions at once, “You’re staying? For good?”

Fjord nodded, “With Beau and Jester and Yasha until I can sort something more permanent than their couch. I mean, I still need to get stuff from...from her place and...I-I’ve never really put down roots anywhere so…”

He even sounded different. His accent had shifted slightly, like a layer of it had been pulled away. A lot of him seemed to have been pulled away, actually, pared back and stripped down and he was trying to figure out what was left.

“I’d like to work here again, if you’d have me,” Fjord asked shyly, “I mean, I’d completely understand if you weren’t comfortable with that. After...after everything.”

Yes, Cad wanted to answer wholeheartedly but he made himself stop.

“After what, Fjord?” he said instead, “I think we need to talk about it. It doesn’t have to be right now but we need to.”

Fjord shook his head, “No. I mean, thank you but no. You’re right, we need to talk about it and we need to talk about it now. I’ve waited far too long already.”

Cad nodded and gestured to the table he stood by. None of the tables or chairs in the cafe matched, as he’d sourced them from half a hundred different thrift stores and flea markets and scrap yards. This one was black wrought iron with a mosaiced top, flowers done in squares of leaded glass. It was a table made for partners, for third or fourth dates, only big enough for two people to sit close with not an inch of spare space.

Fjord sat across from him willingly. He’d looked like he’d slept in the clothes he was wearing and judging by the room, they were probably Yasha’s. Cad wondered if the ladies even knew he was here, as early as it was.

“I, um…” Fjord cleared his throat, “I want to apologise for the kiss last night. Not that I did it, just the way I reacted. Well...maybe how I did it too. That wasn’t how I’d want our first kiss to go. What I mean is, I want to kiss you, Caduceus. I...I like you. In that way.”

Cad felt something come to life in his chest, a fluttering that settled in his throat as his heart began to pound, “I like you in that way too, Fjord. I have for a while.”

Fjord’s golden eyes widened, “Really? I...I hoped, I thought I saw it sometimes but I didn’t know if I was seeing what I wanted to see.”

“Neither did I,” Cad smiled kindly.

That made him smile again, that shy hesitant smile. He took a deep breath, fixing his gaze on the table top while he marshalled his thoughts, like he was having to rearrange everything with this new information.

“Um...it might seem stupid but knowing I...I can feel this way, I’ve kind of only known it since yesterday. Well, not really, it’s always kind of been there but up until now I tried to hide it, even from myself. It just wasn’t something I could be, it wasn’t allowed in the world I lived in until I met you,” Fjord swallowed hard, “In the orphanage, I would have been beaten up for it. In high school I would have been even more rejected than I already was, on Vandran’s ship, I...I would have lost the only man who I could call a father. But I didn’t realise how much it was hurting me, how...how it was like an infection? The more I tried to hide this part of me, the sicker I got, the more twisted, the more sad.”

Cad only nodded and gazed at him, trying to be a constant, sure presence.

“But...I’m done feeling sick,” Fjord took a shaky breath, “I’m done hiding it. I’m...I’m gay,” his voice broke almost immediatley and his face crumbled, tears flooding into his eyes, “Gods, I’m sorry…”

Cad leaned forward, voice soft, “Oh, Fjord, it’s okay. I promise it’s okay...can I touch you?”

Fjord nodded wordlessly as his shoulders shook, gripping back just as tight when Cad wound their fingers together and held fast.

“It’s okay,” Cad stroked his thumb across his knuckles, feeling the scars and callus there, “Fjord, it’s okay to feel grief, it’s okay to feel lost and confused and happy, all of these things come with realisations like this. But I need you to understand you’ve just done a wonderful, brave, beautiful thing and I am so very proud of you.”

Fjord didn’t fight his tears, they fell on their joined hands as he gasped out, “But...I don’t know when I’ll feel comfortable kissing you, I don’t know when I’ll be able to say ‘I love you’, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to have sex with you...Cad, I can’t ask you to take all this on.”

“Yes, you can,” Caduceus said, firmly, “You can, Fjord, because you are worthy of love. You are worthy of patience and care and kindness. You can always ask. And I am saying yes.”

Fjord gave a sodden, shaky gasp and collapsed fully into his tears, pitching forward, stumbling until Caduceus caught him. He caught him and he held on tight, as strong as any anchor had ever held a ship, folding him into his arms and letting him sob into his chest. With the scent of fresh breeze and dew heavy flowers around them, Caduceus held the man he loved and who loved him back and let him cry. As he would through so many hard days and difficult times.

Eventually, Fjord’s tears ran out. In Cad’s arms he felt so small, like he’d shrunk down without the weight of the poison he’d purged. He let him pull away for air, holding his face in his hands and stroking his damp cheeks so gently.

He wasn’t looking at the mask of a man who had believed all the lies he’d been given and swallowed the hate he’d been shown for long, long years. But nor was he looking at the man who’d made him laugh so much, who’d been occupying his cafe for the last months, the one who had reached out to the Wildmother and Caduceus with hope and desperation in his eyes.

Caduceus was looking at someone new, someone halfway between those two and someone entirely himself. He was looking at Fjord at the very start of a long and difficult journey. He was looking at the man he now realised the Wildmother had put him on this earth to love.

They kissed, a soft and gentle kiss, shy and sweet as honey. And this time, Fjord smiled from ear to ear.

It would be hard for both of them at times. They would both struggle and cry and need different things at different times. But it would always wash up better than when they started, they would grow together stronger.

And both of them knew the light would always be left on.

A year was a long damn time to keep a secret. Beau was pretty pleased with herself for managing it.

She would hide her knowing grins behind her coffee cup as they’d all sit together in the Blooming Grove and someone would bring up how strange it was that Caduceus hadn’t found someone for all the time he’d been in the city. She’d feel a burst of pride when one of them would comment on how much happier Fjord was looking, how his tusks were coming in, how therapy seemed to be doing him a world of good, if they really were just going to ignore the fact that his accent had totally changed. She’d snort down laughter whenever Caleb would cluelessly comment that Fjord and Caduceus had been in the back room an awful long time for guys who were just supposed to be getting sugar and why did that take two people in the first place anyway?

Because she’d spent nearly her whole life looking out for her best friend, ever since they were in high school. There was no way she was going to miss how Fjord would put his hand in places it had no rightful reason to be during work hours, when he thought the counter was hiding them better than it was and Cad happened to be passing by. She wasn’t going to miss how, whenever busy days or stormy weather would have Fjord paled and shaking, Caduceus would be the person he’d turn to. She wasn’t going to miss the extra long lunch breaks in the back room or how late Fjord would come home some nights, after cleaning up apparently took hours longer than expected.

But she said nothing, shrugging innocently whenever asked, all while watching through the corner of her eye as Fjord stole a kiss to the back of Cad’s hand behind the coffee machine.

There were no secrets with family after all.

#critical role #cr fic #teahaw #fjorclay #fjord #caduceus clay #beau #beau/jester/yasha #internalised homophobia #domestic violence #modern au #coffee shop au

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E83 (Nov. 5, 2019)

A day late and many dollars short, but we’re here! Tonight’s preroll: minifigs & what I assume are tonight’s guests of Liam & Matt:

which is followed by lazy susan rotating the D&D minis from eldritch-foundry.com for the rest of the cast. Cute! Anyway, Dani is back and ready to rumble! Brian is briefly lambasted for only getting through mumblemumble questions last week, but it’s all smoothed over soon enough and we move right along.

Tonight’s announcements: Undeadwood finale is delayed one week due to some post-production tech issues. Should premiere Friday, Nov. 15. Brian marvels over Matt’s speech about God being just as feral as what he creates. Matt is also surprised. Marisha is apparently the living dice Snitch of both campaign 2 and Undeadwood - everyone wonders if it’s the seat, the chair, the floor, or some innate karmic sense Marisha herself creates. CR is also partnering with Operation Supply Drop for the month of November to support veterans. Matt announces (re-announces?) that they are partnering with Amazon to create a full second animated season, as well as two more episodes to the original season one. All backers will be able to still watch the full season one for free. Everyone is so excited & I’m excited for them. Good job, tiny D&D friend group. More details on the CR Kickstarter Updates page.

And now! Episode 83: Dark Bargains

CR Stats: Liam poured wine for 49 seconds. Brief sidebar as Liam expresses genuine nervousness being on the couch beside Matt; he normally talks behind his back on TM, since he’s not sure if Matt ever watches it, but now he has to watch what he says. Caleb’s smell has been mentioned 60 times. Matt acknowledges that he is clean and washed. [doubt] Nott’s death was the 60th knockout and 8th player death of C2. Half of those deaths were Frumpkin. Liam calls Frumpkin a magic fart with a weak wifi signal.

Our first question (23 minutes in, NOT THAT ANYONE’S COUNTING), reveals that Matt did design the HFB with some “big red buttons” for the characters to press, or want to press. He expected more group approval before some of them were pressed, though (the dreadnought). Liam wanted to clear all the corners of the Baldur’s Gate map. 

Caleb fears Halas because he’s one of the most powerful mages ever, he fears the lab setup/experimentation angle, he still fears the siren song, and is scared of the grains of similarity he sees between the two of them.

Liam knows they’ve continually seen fun stuff come from shitty situations, but Caleb sees the story of the HFB as “you’re not welcome here; this is going to suck for YOU! You thought you were going to have fun here? Fuck you!”

Matt loves those climactic moments though, because he loves it when the dice tell the story. Liam loves that there was a day where Matt rolled terribly in Undeadwood and played it as being embarrassed to be around all these amazing people.

Matt enjoyed getting to dig into the backstory of his world. He’s had references to pre-divergence stuff before, and it was a big joy to give more context to some of the things the M9 have been encountering.

Liam: “[Caleb] is gambling big when he thinks there’s something of worth to gain.“ He’d heard of a long-vanished mage who was messing with time stuff, and thought there might be a chance this was him. Then, once they found the gem, he started feeling this might be the real chance he needed to start messing with the crazy stuff he wants to do with time.

The bound devil was a general temptation, but in hindsight he can see why Jester was drawn to him. Matt often builds scenarios and has no idea how they will react to them (and acknowledges that the M9 did not fully read the poem that would have given them more info here), and sometimes he’s right and sometimes he’s very wrong.

Caleb is very distrustful of other arcanists and always assesses their level of threat to the group. Liam does think Caleb has come a long way since the start of the campaign. “A lot is changing for him. He’s very reactive in a lot of ways. Whatever is laid out for him in the moment that he can take advantage of, or that he cares about...I don’t know. The Betrayer Gods coming back is so much more important, and I don’t know if it’s going to make him let go of that stuff. He has to re-evaluate. He has to. He’s like an addict who has a weak day.”

Brian comments that Caleb seems to be a clinic in self-forgiveness. He wants him to do well, but at the end of the day he wants him to forgive himself. He also points out that it’s possible to get addicted to grief, and he sees that in Caleb; he’s choosing to stay in that space, and we are watching what that does to a person. Brian feels that he forms an attachment to the grief because it is the only emotional connection he has to the family he lost.

Liam nods and says these are things he’s been thinking about for months and months. He does not and did not have the answers when he created the character, and is looking forward to seeing where he ends up. He is not railroading his character; he’s letting the other players affect his character so that Caleb can remain malleable.

Matt loves how it reflects how real people inform the lives and actions of their friends in real life.

Cosplay of the Week: @suchamantis on twitter for a Caleb/spellbook cosplay. It’s gorgeous work!

Brief derailment into Liam pulling a Bane out of his mug and Matt hypersensually smelling the winner’s dice vault. I don’t even know what’s happening.

Revivify in this campaign is being used as a CPR/AED type thing. If they fail, the DC goes up and a longer-form raise dead spell must be used out of combat.

It did occur to Liam that this is the second time his bestie has been killed by a treasure box. Would Caleb make the same sacrifice? Liam says in a spooky voice that nothing is as strong as the twin bond...but when Caleb goes into full-on survival mode where all emotions are pushed to the side, he doesn’t know what would happen. He knew he was with two very magical people who could work miracles and was focused on just getting her up the steps to them. Matt was sure everyone would figure it out and was shocked when no one checked it for traps.

The effect of the diamond on Nott being different from the diamond on Cad was flavor related to the Power Word Kill trap that was on the chest. He built the revivify around that imagery in the moment. A lot of Matt’s flavor text around spells is built around the moment, the characters themselves, their gods, etc. as much as possible.

Caleb is glad to find the signs of magic that may be able to return Nott to a halfling, but was way too concerned about the gem to think about anything else at that time.

Fanart of the Week: @acemasters4 on twitter for a beautiful pastel stylized portrait of Caduceus and mushrooms.

Ashley is almost here! Brian allllmost tells us how many days but refrains. COME BACK ASHLEY.

The Angel of Irons thread has been planned since the very beginning: everything with chains and hunger was planned. He pulled it together with Yasha when he realized they would mesh well. She had created her backstory, and as the campaign proceeded he was able to marry some threads together to make story points. Liam compliments Matt’s ability to weave character & world backstory together; specifically, the crystals in Caleb’s arms were Matt’s idea after Liam sent the first draft of his backstory to Matt. Liam loved it and ran with it.

Everyone is so excited that she is coming back and Matt won’t have to plan for her to be suddenly absent again.

In a moment that shakes my world, Matt is discovered to be wrong about what class of magic Cure Wounds is in 5e. The question is about how Halas’s comment on healing being necromantic is a throwback to older editions of D&D where CW was a necromancy spell, and Dani reveals to us all that in 5e it is now Invocation. Matt chooses to accept this as a deliberate throwback to older editions to emphasize that “man out of time” feel.

Chris Perkins apparently once described BWF’s personality as “Power Word Kill for someone’s joy.” He also apparently did MMA & figure skating, because why not.

Caleb’s reference to Jester suffering in the ruby was purely coincidental regarding her mother. He didn’t realize until it popped out of his mouth.

BWF talks about how he likes where the campaign is at. He has a weird gut feeling that something exciting is about to happen. “I’m finally invested in this campaign after 83 episodes.”

Everyone pauses to talk about how beautiful Matt’s hair is blowing in the wind. BWF tells a story about how based on how they were sitting in Undeadwood filming, Matt’s hair would blow ever-so-slightly in the A/C and people thought they did it on purpose.

Matt had a good time at Blizzcon! He was glad to see people gathering for the Hong Kong protests; he understands it’s a very complicated situation where the initial punishment was way too harsh and caused a ripple effect, but he was glad to see the space where the activism was welcomed in response.

Matt enjoyed cosplaying again for the first time in a long time, both at Blizzcon and as McCree for the Halloween episode. When he was buying adhesive a shop worker upsold him on an inferior product, which is why his beard started falling off during the show. Sad times, Matt. :(

And that’s all! Is it Thursday yet?

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long post for ts

[keichanz]

Ghosts

Something fluffy and cute with a humorous twist at the end that may or may not make you guys want to kill me HAHAHA *gets bricked* okay sorry enjoy the spook -3-

Spooktober Day 21: Ghosts

Small feet pitter-pattered down the carpeted hallway, leaving wet footprints and a trail of dripping water in his wake. He was silent, stealthy, a ninja on a secret mission. A top-secret mission. And it was very, very dangerous; if he was caught, who knew how long it would be until he was able to try again? He had to succeed; failure was definitely not an option and nothing would stand in his way of his coveted spoils! Not even Mama and Dad—er, the, um, protectors—The Protectors Of The Treasure. Yeah, not even they would stop him!

Snickering, the secret stealthy ninja, clad in nothing but his birthday suit, whispered down the stairs to the first floor where his bounty was sure to be. He’d already checked the Protectors’ dwelling; it wasn’t in there like it was last year so that left only one other place and his heat pounded with definitely not fear, but the thrill of the hunt. He knew one of the Protectors – the bigger, stronger one – would be inside, guarding the spoils, so he’d have to be very careful.

Peeking around the corner, the small silver-haired ninja surveyed his surroundings, looking for traps or any signs of The Evil Ugly Princess that was also after his treasure. He pouted slightly; his stupid sis—er, he meant the stupid Ugly Princess found it first last year and wouldn’t share with him. So this time he was going to find it first and not share with her.

Nodding resolutely, the stealthy ninja flicked his ears and after he was satisfied there was no danger, he tiptoed down the hallway, heedless of the trail of water he left on the hardwood floor. Almost there...he was going to make it! Sensing victory, the little ninja grinned in victory and peered around the doorjamb—

He gasped and hastily jerked back. Drats! Both of the protectors were guarding his spoils! He had to think fast; he didn’t have much time before he was discovered! If only he were invisible, undetected, then he’d be able to sneak right by them and gain that which he desired. If only...if only...

Golden eyes blinked as they wandered down the hallway toward a certain room in particular, a room where the small, weaker Protector washed his clothes and the ninja liked to watch the through the window as his clothes went round and round and round...

Shaking his head, the tiny figure huffed and narrowed his eyes determinedly as a sly little grin curled his lips, an idea forming in his mind. It was genius; he’d never be detected! Withholding a cackle of victory, the naked ninja crawled down the hallway and disappeared into the room that smelled like fresh linen and fabric softener.

“I’m goin’ ghost,” he whispered to himself, quoting ones of his favorite cartoons and snickering as he reached inside the big drying box for what he needed.

Humming softly under her breath as her sock-clad feet padded silently down the hallway, Kagome glided into her husband’s office where the hanyou himself sat at his desk, poring over paperwork and glaring at his computer screen behind the reading glasses he only ever used when working from home.

Smiling, Kagome wordlessly ambled over and set a fresh cup of coffee in one of the clear spots on his desk. She reached over, gently grabbed an ear to give it an affectionate rub, then bent down to place a soft kiss between ears before moving away, leaving him to his work.

His ear flicked and amber eyes darted up to watch his wife’s retreat.

“Hey,” he rumbled and reached out, snagging her wrist and reeling her back in before she could get away. “Where d’ya think you’re goin’?”

Sitting back in his chair, Inuyasha dragged his wife into his lap and trapped her in his arms, locking his hands at the small of her back while her arms snaked around his neck.

“Where’re the kiddos?”

“Izayoi’s finishing up some homework in the living room and Tai’s taking a bath,” Kagome answered, idly playing with the hair at the back of his neck. With both of them busy and the house quiet, I was gonna go grade some tests...”

“Nah,” he replied and kissed her nose. “You’re stayin’ here right here and saving me from all this boring paperwork from hell.”

Kagome hummed. “I dunno...” she said, dragging the word out with an impish smile. “There’s not much that can beat the thrill of writing a big, fat A-plus and a smiley face in red ink on all those spelling and vocab exams, the pen gliding smoothly across the paper and I even get to use my special stickers, the glittery ones.”

“Mmm, I love it when you talk dirty to me.” He snuck in a kiss, grinning cheekily against her lips.

“Just wait until I start grading the math tests,” Kagome snickered, stealing her own kiss. “You won’t be able to resist me.”

“Woman,” he grunted as his hands lowered to somewhere decidedly less innocent. “What makes you think I can resist you now?”

“Well if you were, I certainly wouldn’t be sitting here now, would I?” Kagome murmured and them gasped when clawed hands abruptly landed on her ass and squeezed.

“You cad,” Kagome whispered and nibbled his lip. “Scandalous.”

“Punish me, teacher,” Inuyasha whispered and then abruptly the two of them lost their composure, sniggering quietly together and simply reveling in the moment, the peacefulness, and their endless love.

Exchanging sweet kisses and whispered endearments, the two were content to ignore everything else around them and Inuyasha was just about to suggest they sneak upstairs for a quickie when something in his peripheral caught his attention and he cast a fleeting glance toward his desk.

And promptly did a double take, his eyebrows shooting up into the fringe of his silver bangs in a mixture of amusement and disbelief. What the...

“Uh, Kagome,” he queried, lips twitching as he watched the bottom drawer of his desk slid open, apparently, by its own accord. “You seein’ what I’m seein’?”

“Hm?” Leaning back, Kagome blinked at her husband before following his gaze—and watched in avid amusement, eyebrows rising high, as a ghost reached into the desk drawer and discovered the big bag of Halloween candy she’d hidden there last week.

“If you’re talking about the bag of candy floating into the air by itself and drifting toward the doorway,” his wife said dryly, fighting to hold back the smile from her face, “then yes, I certainly do.”

“Huh,” Inuyasha mused as the “ghost” snickered beneath its borrowed floral print bed sheet and skittered away with its stolen goods, triumphant. “Never knew we lived in a haunted house.”

“Me either,” Kagome remarked.

She looked at him, he looked at her, and twin smiles bloomed cross their faces. Kagome giggled while Inuyasha shook his head. Looks like they’d have to find a better hiding place from now on. Brat probably sniffed it out, the little rascal.

Sighing, Kagome reluctantly slid off her husband’s lap and kissed his cheek.

“I’d better go find him before he makes himself sick,” she said with an indulgent smile and wasn’t surprised when Inuyasha reeled her in for one last kiss. She hummed against his lips, kissed him once more, and then finally forced herself to back away. Damn, her hubby was dangerous.

The doorbell rang and Inuyasha got to his feet.

“I might as well get that,” he said and followed his wife out of his office, darting forward to smack her butt as she sashayed away. Kagome snickered and looked over her shoulder to wink at him before scurrying away to find their son and the compromised bag of candy.

Chuckling, wondering how he could ever be so lucky to have such a loving wife and amazing – if at times mischievous kids – Inuyasha headed toward the front door. It was just after six pm, so it was probably a salesman or more than likely Miroku coming over to bother him.

Ah, well; if it was his friend and neighbor, he could definitely use the distraction. Better him than endless, boring paperwork; he was the lesser of the two evils in this case.

Inuyasha snorted at his own thoughts and swung open the door.

He found himself staring into familiar, very wide toffee-colored eyes and he watched in dawning horror as the visitor’s face went white as a ghost.

“Oh my god.”

The apple pie they were holding fell from suddenly nerveless fingers and Inuyasha’s fast reflexes were the only things that saved it from splattering onto their porch.

“Holy shit.”

Ten very awkward-filled minutes later, Inuyasha closed the door, still holding the pie in his hand, and turned around to find Kagome heading down the stairs with their sheet-wrapped “ghost” in her arms. Chocolate was smeared around his mouth but it looked like she caught him before he could indulge too much, thankfully.

His muscles felt stiff as he shuffled over to the bar counter to set down the dessert before he dropped it, the state of shock he was in preventing him from hearing his wife asking who as at the door.

When Inuyasha didn’t answer and stared off into space, looking a little dazed, Kagome frowned in concern and flicked a glance at the pie sitting on their counter.

“Inuyasha? Who was at the door?” she asked again. “And where did the pie come from?”

From his mother’s arms, Tai’s eyes went wide as he ogled the dessert. Apple pie was his favorite...

“Did someone say pie?” Izayoi poked her head into foyer, blinking in curiosity.

Still when all her husband did was look between her and the pie sitting on the counter, Kagome cocked a brow. What on earth had gotten into him?

“Inuyasha...? Are you okay, or...?” Stepping closer, Kagome was just about to check to see if he had a fever – doubtful with how pale he’d gone – but Inuyasha suddenly shook his head and sucked in a breath, whatever daze he’d been in vanishing.

“Sorry,” he muttered and reached into his back pocket. “I, uh, I saw a ghost.”

Kagome opened her mouth. Closed it. Frowned.

“What?”

In answer Inuyasha retrieved the business card he’d been given and wordlessly held it out.

Confused and a little wary, Kagome closed the distance to take the card from his hand and scan the contents.

Her mouth dropped and her eyes widened.

“Oh my god.”

Kikyou Hirata Freelance Writer “Dare to Dream.”

#ghosts #spooktober prompts #day 21 #oneshot #inuyasha #kagome #tai #inukag #keizfanfiction #fanfiction

[eponymous-rose]

Return of the Revenge of the Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E108-109 (September 15, 2020)

It’s been six months since the last Speech Machine Upper Luminosity (is that right?), so let’s jump right back in like nothing ever happened!

Tonight’s guests are Laura Bailey and Matt Mercer!

Announcements: Talks will now be biweekly, discussing two episodes at a time! Unfortunately, this means fan question submissions aren’t doable yet, since they’ll often be filming Talks for episodes that haven’t aired yet; questions will come from crew, but fanart and cosplay from earlier episodes will still get awards. Dani Carr’s new official title in the company is Lorekeeper!

Episodes 108-109

Brian asks Matt about the tug-of-war with the Moonweaver’s influence: “how much of that did the Traveler and Jester’s interactions influence him not going back to the Feywild?” Matt: “Okay, well, the Moonweaver isn’t necessarily happy about taking on the images and icons and co-opting elements of her worship, but also isn’t a vindictive deity necessarily.” She has a similar fey history to Artagan, “so I knew this encounter, there would be a punishment involved, at the very least to take Artagan down a few pegs.” He wasn’t going to be actually banished; the Moonweaver just wanted to “scare the shit out of him: You think you’re a trickery god? Welcome to the original trickery god, bitch.” There was a possibility of him just vanishing for a while, if there was no sign of humility; but based on their interactions, it was just enough to show the planetar that maybe this isn’t the same “troll of an Archfey” that the Moonweaver had known. “Maybe this is enough of a lesson.”

Laura thought Artagan was going to be “gone-gone, and Jester was going to be left alone”. She thought there was going to be a Feywild rescue, and Jester would have to try to find a new deity.

Laura’s wi-fi conks out. So does mine. Ah, 2020.

Jester would probably have followed the Moonweaver in an attempt to make amends. Laura mentions that every time she sat down to prep something for Traveler-Con, she realized Jester wouldn’t sit still long enough to plan it.

Laura: “If that cult hadn’t been there and she hadn’t seen what a false god could do to people, I don’t think she would have come to the realization that what her and the Traveler were doing was detrimental: oh, we’re fucking over people’s lives, hardcore.” If Artagan hadn’t been on board with picking a different deity, Jester would have stepped down at Traveler Con and she would have exposed the lie.

Matt’s “super happy” because he was purposely making sure he didn’t know what was going to happen at Traveler Con. “Okay, everything around it’s going to be interesting and fleshed out, but as to the actual convention, I have no idea what’s going to happen.” He wanted to balance a complete train wreck with character beats and mini-arcs, and he was satisfied with how that worked out.

Brian asks if Jester ever considered walking away from the Traveler. Laura: “Yeah. It could have progressed to that point. Jester always gave him the benefit of the doubt, and loves him with her entire heart, so if he would have not seen that what they were doing was not acceptable, in his own way, then Jester would have probably walked away. I don’t know if she would have walked away from him, but it would have been a big issue for her. I have no idea what that would have meant for her... my entire character arc.”

How does Jester feel about the Traveler now? “She loves him, but at the same time, she doesn’t adore him without boundaries. She sees a little bit more of who he is, and the worshiping aspect isn’t there anymore. She sees him more like another friend. That’s a complicated relationship for a cleric to have.”

Matt talks about what a fan he is of his players. “I’ve just been enjoying the hell out of this.”

Has Artagan learned his lesson? He’s been living for a long time, and old habits are hard to break. Matt points out that Artagan “is free in a place that he doesn’t have complete domain over, and he’s been humbled a few times. I think he’s definitely learned a series of lessons to some degree. We’ll see how far it sticks and where their relationship goes.”

Brian asks Laura how it’s been to have the spotlight on Jester for a long time. Laura: “It was nerve-wracking. I feel very relieved that it’s on to something else now, but it was so much fun, too. I feel like I kept getting so emotional as her through all this. Having to come to terms with all the things she was going through was crazy. But it felt good.”

Cosplay of the Week: An amazing Yasha by @shiieldmaiden on Twitter, photo by @asheneyed.

Matt: “I took a bath for this.”

Brian notes that Jester found herself caught between her god and the M9. Who would she have chosen if Artagan hadn’t kicked her off? Laura: “Here’s the thing. If Fjord hadn’t jumped on my back, Jester would have gone. But him doing that, I mean, that’s why I froze like I did. I really didn’t know where it was going to go. Thankfully Artie made that choice for me.”

The Vilya reveal’s been waiting since Marisha made Keyleth’s backstory. Brian recalls that the question of what happened to Vilya came up in the campaign 1 recap, and Matt was cagey about it. “When I got the original backstory from Marisha, in my head, I was like, her mother’s probably still alive, just lost to the chaos for reasons that I’ll get to, but I like the idea of an eventual reunion when it made sense.” As they got later in the campaign, Keyleth’s story became about taking on this leadership and stepping into her mother’s footsteps: “I didn’t want to rob her of her journey by bringing her mother into it before it was complete. There wasn’t a beat that felt right for it in the first campaign unless the players actively wanted to go and seek it out.” He knew she was on an island somewhere, and that there was an issue with her memory, but the details were still hazy, and it never came up in the first campaign. “As soon as we got to Rumblecusp as a possible visiting location, I was like, this would probably be the island that Vilya’s at.” He knew the community would pick up on it quickly, but the players would likely be too engrossed in their own story. “Getting to send her home was wonderful, both for an idea of closure, but as a long-waiting gift to Marisha and Keyleth. It’s something that I’ve been looking forward to giving to her.”

On building Vilya’s character: “I wanted to make sure she wasn’t too similar to Keyleth. She couldn’t remember her family, but when she did, it meant everything.”

Brian asks what inspires Jester’s thought process to try and befriend every creature they come across. “Everyone is interesting. Except for Celia, she’s a bitch. If you piss her off, she might just hate you forever, but everybody else she thinks is pretty great. Jester can hold a good grudge.”

Brian asks Matt about the inspiration for Vokodo. “It is a heavily customized version of a Morkoth. I was just intrigued by how they had created this creature that creates this island around it. It has ways of affecting the minds of creatures around it. I didn’t enjoy that the creature was only Medium in size, and I wanted it to be something that was a little bit more changed by its experiences.” He also tied it in with the Astral Sea lore and suggested that it had been changed by its proximity to this volcano, similarly to how Thordak did in the first campaign.

Fan Art of the Week: An amazing Traveler Con Jester and Artagan by @callanthee on Twitter

How about the visions of the living city? Laura: “I don’t know what the fuck is going on with that thing. If it true that there’s a Molly connection, the Eyes of Nine, I don’t know. It’s just too much. We have to look into it.” Matt, blandly: “Weird mysteries.”

Who would the Disintegrate spell have hit if it had ricocheted? “Initially, I would have wanted to choose Caleb, like back at himself, because the immediate threat of that ray towards Vokodo, it would have been just right back at him.” But the runner-up would have been Jester because of the threat of the banishment back to the Astral Sea, the one place he didn’t want to go.

Laura could tell from Liam’s gameplay that he hadn’t realized someone was going to perma-die from that. “I thought it was going to be me, because I had been the one to banish him.”

Dani points out that the group would probably have gone after Artagan if Jester had died right before Traveler Con.

Matt highlights Cad’s Divine Intervention as pretty much the only way they could have learned the important information they used to prepare for the fight with Vokodo. He was torn between frustration at not being able to use this boss to its fullest potential... and pride in his players.

Laura is amused at listening to the characters talking about Jester when she’s not there. “It’s fun to hear but not be able to use that at all in your interactions with them.” Laura points out that even her sister who watches the show doesn’t trust the Traveler. Matt mentions that he’s always being very careful with the relationship between the Traveler and Jester, because it could get into rough territory. “There are unhealthy elements of their relationship, very much so. A lot of her story has been about disillusionment.” Laura: “Yeah. Eyes open.” They’ve set up bumpers to make sure they don’t veer into territory the players find uncomfortable. 

“Artagan at the end of campaign one versus Artagan at campaign two are different. He came into this world a purely selfish being of id and impulse. He still has those dark tendencies and can lean down those dark paths. But he went from a purely chaotic, selfish creature to unintentionally beginning to care for people that aren’t him.” Traveler Con definitely left a mark on him. “Aw shit, I let them in.”

Sam starts Facetiming Brian. “How does he know when we’re filming this?! No. I’m not going to do it.”

Matt and Laura are "super excited” for the new landscape of the next part of the journey.

Laura notes that Jester is getting past the point of “needing to put on the mask”, including around her mom. And as that’s happened at Traveler Con, the small breakdowns have been piling up. “That’s what therapy’s like, right?”

On the new goliath shopkeeper (even with the mispronunciations as clues, I got nothing on that spelling), Matt points out that purchasing magical items is tricky because most things were pulled into the war effort. He was trying to figure out how a shopkeeper could build a business in that environment: “with a bunch of really small, shitty enchantments”. As a kid, he loved novelty shops, and took a lot of inspiration from those memories.

So glad everything’s back in business! “As always, don’t forget to love each other. And don’t worry, it’s almost Thursday.”

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long text post

[aion-rsa]

Lucifer Season 4 Recap: The Devil’s in the Details

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The following contains spoilers for Lucifer season 4.

Lucifer is the rare show that didn’t reach its full potential until it was canceled. Always fun, supernatural camp, the show reached another level in season 4 following its move from Fox to Netflix.

The first three seasons largely used Ellis’ ability to slip so easily and believably from semi-sleazy boundless cad to genuinely hurt lost child to raging demon to tell the story of the devil’s emotional development from the rejected and perpetually abandoned son of God (and Goddess) to (semi-)self-aware friend, partner, and potential (chaste) lover. In this, he was aided by a cast and characters to play off who made silly moments funnier and touching moments sweeter or more heartbreaking.

Sadly, however, that’s largely all that humans Detective Chloe Decker, douche Dan, Dr. Martin, and quirky forensic scientist Ella were allowed to do. Their characters were given little development. Charlotte theoretically was given some space for movement, but this was largely due to her becoming literally a different character halfway through, and her last-minute heaven-winning transformation felt a bit hollow in the end. Demon Mazikeen and angelic brother Amenadiel fared better, both coming to grips (as foils to Lucifer’s own development) with what their move to the City of Angels meant for them. But still, the primary focus—and thus all that was most interesting—was Lucifer.

But this all changed in season four, when Netflix picked up the show. The move away from broadcast television shortened the season (to 10 episodes, down from a high of 25) but lengthened the episodes, which meant that much of the procedural quality and one-off episodes dropped away and the show focused more consistently on its primary arc, and with it, the development of its characters.

With Lucifer season 5 set to arrive on Netflix on August 21, now is the right time to recap the events of Lucifer season 4. 

Chloe Finds God 

Season four’s opening scene grabs us immediately and sets the tone for the rest of the season as we watch and listen to Ellis’s Lucifer sing Radiohead’s “Creep” in a montage, night after night, as he slowly disintegrates over time over the loss of Chloe, who has taken Trixie and run away after Lucifer’s true nature has finally been made inescapably clear to her. This absence is quickly rectified when the Detective (Lauren German) shows up at a crime scene unannounced, throwing not just her celestial partner but the whole investigative team for a loop. 

She’s been to the Vatican—among other places—in search of answers, although it is never entirely clear what her questions were. Here she has fallen prey to a priest with an agenda. Father Kinley (played alternately with touching kindness and religious hysteria by Outlander’s Graham McTavish) has been tracking Lucifer’s comings and goings throughout history and is convinced that he is every bit as evil and malicious as the Bible has said. Although she does not entirely believe this, she is moved by the argument that, wherever he goes, destruction follows, and he must return to hell. She agrees to help him sedate Lucifer so Kinley can perform an exorcism on him.

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Lucifer Season 5 Part 1 Review (Spoiler-Free)

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All of this comes to naught, of course, since Chloe cannot reconcile the picture Father Kinley paints of Lucifer with the flawed but essentially good man that she knows, and she backs out of the plan. Kinley retaliates by informing Lucifer of the Detective’s intended betrayal (leaving out the key bit of information that it was and continues to be his plan) in an effort to drive a wedge between Chloe and her partner because he believes that she is the “first love” of a prophecy that promises that “when the devil walks the Earth and finds his first love, evil shall be released.” 

Lucifer eventually confronts her and she tearfully admits not only her plan but hesitates just an instant too long when he asks her if she will ever be able to truly accept all of who he is. Here Lauren German is finally given the opportunity to add some real depth to what has too often been a fairly flat character, and she steps up nicely throughout this subplot as we watch Chloe struggle to come to terms with her love for the man developing behind the face of the originary monster.

Lucifer’s Rebound, Eve

Lucifer is crushed by Chloe’s confession, and it is this which jumpstarts the primary plot of season four as we are introduced to probably the most famous of Lucifer’s exes: Eve, who has recently escaped the unending boredom (we are told) of heaven, and is looking to hook up with her former lover. Eve’s conflict, as a character, comes from the fact that she was “created for (Adam). Turns out an arranged existence kind of takes the spark out of things.” She is, apparently, willing to accept all of what Lucifer is—something that he desperately needs at that point—and proceeds to join (or rather lead) him back into the life of debauchery that he was living before he began working with the Detective. Unfortunately for all involved, she seems to also have a fetish for his ability to punish people and actively rekindles his desire to do so, further estranging him from Chloe and the rest of his friends.

Charlie the Marginal Angel

Those friends, however, have their hands full. Dr. Martin and Amenadiel’s all-too-brief romantic alliance, it turns out, has borne fruit: she’s pregnant, though whether she will give birth to a fully human child or a more celestial being is unclear until the very end of the season when we learn that, while Charlie has no (obvious) wings, he likely is, in fact, at least marginally angelic. The angel Remiel does appear at one point to end Linda’s pregnancy by taking the unborn child, as an angel/human hybrid is forbidden, but Amenadiel manages to convince her to leave his family alone. Watching Linda and Amenadiel attempt to come to grips not just with impending parenthood but the uncertainty of their specific type of parenthood (including the VERY timely issue of what it means to be a Black parent to a Black son in America) allows both actors to turn in their best performances on the show to date.

Others struggle to make sense of their places and feelings in a changing landscape. 

The Lucifer B-Team

Dan is essentially destroyed by Charlotte’s death at the end of season three and goes on a vengeful crusade against Lucifer, reverting to his corrupt ways in his attempt to alternately punish his ex-wife’s partner for her death—though his rationale for Lucifer’s guilt is murky at best—or cut through procedural red tape on cases. He believes that Lucifer is responsible for another outrage, that of having broken a criminal suspect’s back (which Dan is correct about), but his missteps eventually put Trixie at risk and he continues to spiral down, including trying to provoke Mazikeen into hurting him, as well as starting an ill-advised affair with Ella.

Ella is likewise struggling with Charlotte’s death which has shaken her religious beliefs. Over the first half of the season, we watch her go from being “on a break from the Big Guy” to outright stating that God does not exist. It is likely this which opens the door to her sexual entanglement with Dan. When she learns that Dan is the one who told a suspect’s criminal father that Lucifer broke his son’s back—which led said criminal to send muscle to Lucifer’s penthouse to kill him and catching Trixie in the crossfire—Ella keeps Dan’s secret but tells him he is in pain and needs help. 

Mazikeen has had one support after another knocked out from beneath her on the show. First she faced rejection and/or betrayal (in her eyes) from both Lucifer and Amenadiel; then her best friend snuck around with her former lover, and now she has found out that her roommate, Chloe, is only pretending that things are okay between the two of them after the Detective learns of her true nature, and that she is actually keeping Mazikeen’s first friend, Chloe’s daughter Trixie, from being anywhere near her. When she attempts to then base her self-worth on her status as the impending child’s aunt or as Dan’s partner in marginal crime and definite violence, both possibilities collapse, and she’s left rudderless.

Eve’s Original Sin

In the midst of this, Eve has been tempting the Devil, and he is lapping it up, joining her in sexual debauchery and violence-rich punishment of the criminal, though we begin to suspect that Eve cares little about their targets’ actual guilt. This leads to mistakes and escalating estrangement from Chloe, as well as Lucifer’s growing sense that while Eve says she wants him to be himself, her view of who he is is as misguided and ultimately self-serving as the Detective’s was until she saw his true face. He knows that while he has always claimed he is not evil, he is skating dangerously close to becoming so, and as Amenadiel sussed out, an angel’s perception of himself has tangible effects: Lucifer’s wings are back but they are the leathery, horrific appendages humanity has always imagined him having rather than the beautiful ones that left humans awestruck in previous seasons. He becomes intent on stopping his transformation, and knows that this begins with rejecting Eve.

He tries, at first, to tell her of the prophecy, but all she hears is that she is his “first love” and takes it as a declaration of his feelings. He then attempts to get her to leave him, perhaps too guilty at having used her to get distance from Chloe. He turns himself into the prototypical bad boyfriend, forgetting perhaps that adapting herself to her man is her jam. When he finally confronts her, he tells her that he doesn’t like who he is with her, which, while true, isn’t the whole truth as he later admits to Linda: he doesn’t like himself. Full stop. He hates himself and it’s that that fuels his continuing transformation.

Not Standing by Your (Wo)Man

But that’s not his greatest danger. Nor the greatest danger he poses to humanity. Eve’s desire for him drives her to extremes, and after Maze’s standard man-getting advice fails, Eve kidnaps Father Kinley from police custody in an attempt to get him to convince Lucifer that the prophecy isn’t true and they can be together (though her intentions are unclear perhaps because Eve’s thinking is becoming more random and desperate). But Maze finally confronts her with the truth: he doesn’t return her feelings (anymore, Maze realizes, then Eve does hers, the demon having fallen for Eve) and she needs to get over it. But Eve cannot and when Kinley tempts her with the possibility of having Lucifer to herself and rendering the prophecy moot by getting him to return to Hell with her as his queen, she takes advantage of having to kill the priest (in self-defense) by telling him to deliver a message to the demons who control Hell: come get your king.

The demons, able to inhabit the bodies of the recently deceased, begin to possess the dead (starting with Kinley, who is taken over by the demon Dromos). When Lucifer orders them back to hell, informing them he has no actual plans to return, the demons come up with a backup plan: they grab the nearest defenseless celestial (since Hell’s king must be an angel): the recently arrived Charlie. They plan to perform Kinley’s exorcism on Linda and Amenadiel’s son and raise him to rule Hell as they want it run. Lucifer eventually cows them and forces them to return to Hell and all seems to be happily resolved.

Except that just about everyone is either heartbroken or otherwise shaken. 

Eve has redeemed herself in the final battle, but knows that Lucifer will never love her. Rather than turn to Maze, she decides she needs to stop trying to define herself by who she is in a relationship with, and chooses to head off on that most quintessential of LA quests: to find herself. Maze is devastated. Dan is left to deal with the emotional fallout of his bad decisions, and while Charlie is safely back in his parents’ arms, it is with a very clear understanding of the risks they face as a family.

And, of course, the long awaited declarations of love between Lucifer and the Detective finally do happen, but only as he announces that he now knows that Hell cannot remain unguarded—that the demons would just return and that they could hurt Charlie or her–and he must go back…with no hope of return.

So thank uh…hmmm…Charlotte(?)…that Netflix renewed Lucifer for a fifth season because, while that would have made for an excellent end to a tragedy, I have now become a fan and am hoping for a happier ending. Now that we know there’s also to be a sixth season, I doubt that we’ll get that type of emotionally satisfying closure this year, but the trailers thus far have promised more than enough of the type of action, angst, and even comedy that has made the show such a favorite. It’ll be a Hell of a ride.

The post Lucifer Season 4 Recap: The Devil’s in the Details appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[readbythestarlight]

c2e53 reactions:

When Sam comes in with a llama puppet you know the ad is gonna be good

I love how he can’t even get half his jokes out

FJORD DREAM FJORD DREAM

I’m actually worried this could be bad if U’Kutoa is displeased that he isn’t pursuing the last temple

"Watching"

nope

"Return"

noPE

"Reward"

and he gets surrounded by eyes and tentacles

"Wander"

NOPE

"Punish"

NOPE NOPE NOPE

NOOOOOPE

Oh god I knew bad things were gonna happen but don’t hurt my son

"You ever feel like you’re not gonna wake up from a dream while you’re in it?" Let me hug him let me protect him.

I do like Cad’s encouragement that if U’Kutoa could hurt him then he would have. God I hope that’s true.

Fjord considering making a new pact with someone else to counteract U’Kutoa. Can he do that? Can warlocks switch their pacts?

"Everybody’s gonna take care of you, it’s gonna be alright." Wow that made me emotional.

Nott always encouragingher kid Caleb

F: "literally anyone in this group is a great leader. Except you."

J: "I think you’d be a great leader, Nott."

N: "Thank you, Jester.... but that’s not true it’s just Caleb."

Gosh I hope they just hurry up and get to Yeza, dawdling is what got them into this situation. Kinda.

"Not ALL my bat droppings" only Caleb.

Caleb’s just like "I am gonna make these giant cats my friends!!!"

"I like chicken I like liver..." I’m cracking up

Whispers!

Jannik, Yarn Ball, and Clarabelle

Creepy potion peddling lady that they have mixed feelings about is great

More whispers.

"It’s another chair, I feel they’re connected."

She’s heard of people having bad dreams. Fjord had a bad dream. *instert: "coincidence? I think NOT" gif here*

More whispers??

Why are we chasing these leads why are we not chasing Yeza??

"With you guys" what??

Is it a bunch of little, like, kobolds or something??

Madam Musk is a bunch of kobolds or something

CALLED IT

J: "She wants to be creepy okay let her be creepy."

Fjord gets hangry it’s canon

Oh lord who’s gonna decide to brawl the ogre

Is it gonna be Beau?

It’s gonna be Beau isn’t it

Okay is this woman the spy?

Oh wow Yasha is nervous

Oh god not the diamond

Matt has monked the monk oh no

This is off to a terrible start

The lesbian nod of appreciation

Lol Jester’s use of command nice job

Jester and her defensive hamster unicorns

lol Frumpkin acting as a distraction

Nott just low key stealing the diamond back xD

JESTER NO

Come on Beau babe mess her up!!

Beau is aroused

COME ON BEAU COME ON

NOO

NOOOOO

gdi they lost the diamond

Caduceus

nooooo

GDI it was so close

2hp oh god SO CLOSE

Caduceus you could have let her have it

They lost. A 300gp diamond.

If somebody dies and they don’t have that diamond I’m gonna die. And Jester will hate herself.

I feel like we have mad exactly 0 progress in saving Yeza but I don’t even mind because they’re clearly having so much fun in this City of Beasts.

KNEW IT I knew she had to be the spy

Dairon!!!!

I’m happy she’s alive

Awww Beau hugs

That was AWESOME

I’m excited because I like Dairon and I love mentor/mentee relationships and I wanna see more of her and Beau interacting

God I’ve missed being able to watch this live.

#emi watches critical role #Critical Role #cr spoilers

[dreamstormdragon]

The Cost of Freedom

The Cost of Freedom

CRACK!!

Walter cried out in agony as he hit the floor, having received another hit from the asylum doctor. This beating had been going on for what felt like hours to Walter. The doctor sneered at him, readying the belt again in his hands.

“I’m only going to ask you one more time, kitchen boy. Where is the girl?”

Walter stared at him for a few moments before giving the same smirk as he had before, coughing up a bit of blood.

“I’ll say it once and I’ll say it again, you’re not getting an answer out of me no matter how much you beat me.”

The doctor sneered.

“Who said I need to beat you anymore?” He grabbed him by his hair, forcing him to his knees. “You want her freed so bad? A dangerous inmate out into the world?”

“The only one dangerous here…” He coughed. “Is you!”

The doctor growled, shaking him a little.

“You don’t understand, boy. They’ll throw the book at you for this… or I’ll find a much better punishment for you myself.”

“Do what you want. The information you want you’ll have to pry from my cold dead hands.”

“So be it.”

The doctor, threw Walter down before pressing a button on an intercom.

“Get a room ready. We have a new patient.”

It wasn’t long before other doctors came into the room, taking Walter away and into one of the many rooms of the asylum. They threw him in without much care, Walter skidding across the floor.

“Enjoy your stay, traitor.” one of the doctor’s said before closing the door.

Walter laid on the floor, soreness keeping him from being able to get up. He glanced at himself, least the best he could without his glasses. His clothes were torn in some places, he was covered in bruises and judging by the warmth he felt on his face, he most certainly was bleeding from his nose and had blood on his lips from coughing some up.

He sighed, curling up on himself.

Least Willow got away… I just hope Maxwell is going to keep his end of the bargain in regards to me.

The room was illuminated by a single light bulb that flickered overhead, casting shadows across the walls. Walter shuddered, curling up more on himself, wincing as he felt his abdomen.

Something definitely got messed up. He put me through the wringer.

Of course, tick off the head doctor twice…

It was hours before he heard any sign of anyone outside.

“Hello?”

The door opened before it was quickly closed.

“Sorry for making you wait.”

Walter glanced up, squinting his eyes at the person before him. He recognized the voice but he wasn’t sure if it was who he thought it was.

“Maxwell?”

Maxwell knelt to his level, putting on a new set of glasses over Walter’s eyes.

“The one and only. Again, sorry for the wait, time got the better of me of getting Willow away from this place.”

“I-It’s fine. H-How is she? Is she okay?”

“She’s doing well for herself and you’ll see her in due time but right now, let’s focus on you.” Maxwell summoned magic aura to his hands, having it wrap around Walter, healing his injuries. “You know, I thought doctors were supposed to do no harm.”

“Tell that to ones who see patients like Willow as science projects over people.” Walter sighed in relief. “And then, when you break their rules this is what happens… At least here. There’s some good ones out there I’m sure.” He growled. “But not here… Not these people. They don’t care at all.”

“Hmph, cads the lot of them. Best we make haste now before more show up.”

“Wait, one more favor, please.”  

Maxwell raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms. Walter gave him a pleading look.

“It’s not huge I promise. Just… make it so my mother never gets any notification of me being forced to be in here. It’d scare her a lot.”

Maxwell thought it over before nodding.

“Very well. Might not be a pleasant experience for the doctors here but considering what they do to people here I honestly will not feel bad for what I will do them to keep that from happening.”

“I just don’t want my mother to worry… She’s the only person I have left that is family in this world and I don’t want to hurt her.”

There was sympathy in Maxwell’s eyes.

“I understand and I promise I shall do what I just said to keep that from happening.”

“Thank you.” Walter held up his hand. “I’m ready to go now.”

Maxwell took his hand, summoning shadows around them.

“Let’s leave here then.”

There was a rush of shadows around them before they vanished, something else, something quite dark left behind.

A terrorbeak skittered onto the bed, screeching as the door was opened before lunging for its prey.

oooooo

Walter felt a little dizzy as the shadows dissipated around them. He looked around, seeing they were in a forest area, taking note the trees were burnt to a crisp.

“Looks like she was through here rather quickly.”

“Oh goodness, Willow…” Walter gulped. “W-Where is she?”

“Somewhere far from here. Probably just best to follow the burn trail.”

“You can’t just take me to her?”

“Watch it. I’m already doing you quite a few favors in order to ensure your mother doesn’t find out about this.” Maxwell gave him a serious look. “You can’t make too many demands.”

Walter gave him a miserable look before sighing, adjusting his glasses.

“Right, right, my apologies. Nothing in this life worth having is easy to get, right?”

“Indeed.”

“Then…. I’ll just get to work.”

“Good.” Maxwell summoned a backpack to his hands, offering it to him. “Here, something to start you off. Know these simple rules. Keep your guard up, stay out of the dark and whatever you do, don’t starve. Best of luck finding your “sister”.”

Walter took it, nodding.

“Thank you, Maxwell. You’re a real pal.”

“Anything for a friend. Now, if you’ll pardon me, I have some “doctors” to check on.” He grinned wickedly before disappearing.

Walter took a deep breath before going through the backpack, finding an axe inside.

“Well… if I’m gonna survive.” He looked at the charred trees. “I’m gonna need something for a cooking means.”

Hang in there Willow. I’m coming!

ooooooooo

Alright here we go for another snippet. This one taking place directly after Walter made his deal to free Willow... The man has NOT had it easy.

This also kicks off the collection joining fanfiction.net and archiveofourown:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14867045 - Archive of Our Own

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12961102/1/Shadow-Snippets - Fanfiction.net

The snippets will still be posted here to tumblr as well but this is just to expand on it. :) Thanks for reading guys.

#Survive the Shadows #Storm Snippets #Shadow Snippets #storm arashi #Walter Gardener #maxwell carter #William Carter Don't Starve Together #Maxwell Don't Starve #Don't Starve OC #fanfiction #don't starve #don't starve fanfiction #don't starve together #light in the shadows

[bunny-wk-fanfic]

Tomoe from Kamisame Hajimemashita and Kagome? What if she met the land god first, or just general run in?

Kinda took this and ran with it, hope that’s more than alright!

Kagome hummed an ancient tune she once heard in the past just under her breath, sweeping the walkway. It was a warm autumn day, the wind was sweet from the ripe fruits, and Kagome felt calm, at ease, and tranquil.

Her sweeping stop when a pair of arms wrapped around her from behind, a chin resting atop her head. Smiling, she began her motions once again. “What’s the matter, Tomoe?”

“Nothing.” his chest rumbled against her back as he spoke. His arms tightened around her when she attempted to move forward, halting her progress in finishing her chore.

“Well, obviously it’s not ‘nothing’ or you would let me finish my work.” she leaned to the side to look up at him.

Tomoe huffed, staring off ahead of them for a while before burying his face into her hair. His arms tightening around her waist had her brows furrowing in worry.

“Tomoe?” she rested a hand atop one of his own, it wasn’t often he got so clingy with her, in fact, there were only a couple of times since she came to work at this shrine and met the kitsune.

“I just remembered something.” his sudden words had her easing, though she was still curious as to his sudden need to hold her.

Easing into his hold, Kagome could only hum, “Oh?” as she watched the swaying trees before them.

It was silent save for the rustle of the leaves and the chirping of the birds. But Kagome allowed him this, she figured he would share with her. Hopefully soon, she did want to finish sweeping the walkway sometime soon.

“The song you were humming, it reminded me of one that children often sang some five centuries ago.” his lips curved in a smile when she stiffened slightly. “Which brought back memories of my past, particularly of this time when I got severely injured after attempting to steal a particular jewel.”

Kagome by this point was shivering as he continued sharing with her, her heart pounding in such a way she was sure Tomoe could hear it. Her hands clenched around the handle of the broom, ignoring the few minor splinters. They wouldn’t get that deep, her hands had formed calluses thanks to her archery, but the sensation still seemed to center her frantic mind.

“Strangely enough, the jewel’s very own guardian stumbled upon me a little later and cared for me herself.” Tomoe was now actively nuzzling into her hair. “Such a strange little priestess, she was, and yet, so beautiful in her kindness. Enchanted, I soon followed this strange priestess that would help not only a youkai but one that wronged her. Her heart was open to all, regardless of class or race. She was well educated and well connected, despite her odd mannerisms and odder apparel.”

By now, Kagome was blushing fiercely, her head bowing in an attempt to hide it from Tomoe. He was now petting her hair as he nuzzled behind her ear.

“So, the moment I was able, I began to hunt down this wonderfully, strange miko. Tracking her down to offer an appropriate thanks.” he smiled when she let out a quiet noise from the back of her throat, obviously thinking he meant something very kitsune as such. Which she wouldn’t be wrong. “And when I did find her, imagine my surprise to see her caring for an orphaned kit. She traveled with the oddest company as well. Though, I’ll admit to being most fond of discovering her bathing rituals.”

The purring confession in her ear had Kagome spinning about to give Tomoe a right tongue lashing, the broom clattering to the ground forgotten. “That was you?!”

Tomoe cupped her cheeks, smiling down at her anger flushed face. “I’ll admit, I was a bit of a cad back then. It was hard not to be with such a vision before me. It broke my heart though when I soon learned you were gone.”

Her anger swiftly died at the heartbroken expression, his ears drooping. “It wasn’t until a few years later I crossed paths with a very loyal kit. So loyal in fact that it took a couple of years more before he finally trusted the truth about the miko to me.” he smiled at how her eyes widened, lips parting to gasp. “I vowed to wait until I could finally see her again, with plans to thank her properly.”

Kagome’s blush instantly returned, earning Tomoe’s laughter. “Ah… um, there’s no need?”

“Of course there is, silly miko!” leaning down, Tomoe pressed his brow against her own. “And I intend to do so. So very thoroughly,” his voice all but purred when she bit down on her lower lip and squirmed before him. “, after, after I marry you of course.”

“Wait. What?” Kagome was instantly still, eyes wide before him, her fingers curling around his wrists. Her heart was once again beating fiercely, not that it really had the time to calm down since Tomoe started talking, but this time for a very different reason.

“I fell in love with the kind-hearted miko that helped and cared for me when I attempted to wrong her. For a miko to do such rather than ‘finish the job’, she trapped me and my heart, faster than any kitsune seduction.” his smirk returned, lips brushing her trembling ones. “If I hadn’t known any better, I would have thought her a kitsune in disguise.”

Kagome whimpered, warmth coursing through her at his words. She felt like she was melting. To think, Tomoe had waited around five centuries, just for her. Her brows furrowed slightly when her mind supplied with a few important facts. “What makes you think a marriage between us is a sure deal?”

Cool fingers tickled along her neck before combing through her hair, Tomoe chuckling at her visible shiver. “As sure as I am a kitsune.”

Huffing, Kagome stared up at him. “If you think that I’ll agree due to kitsune seduction-!”

“Hush.” a finger was pressed against her lips, his smirk showing his amusement. “As fun as that sounds, I want you willing and fully coherent when you do accept my proposal. Because you will, Kagome. We will be wed.” his thumb then rubbed against her lower lip, his eyes hypnotized by the action.

“…but I’m human.” her heart broke already at the thought of leaving him when she finally died of old age, and never would she ask him to change what he was. She would -not- be repeating Kikyo and Inuyasha’s history.

“That you are, but, Mikage-sama sensed something, different, about you.” his brows pinched slightly. “One does not travel through time without repercussions. I’m told you even witnessed time standing still. Such a feat is not accomplished by mere mortals. No, when we wed, and we most assuredly will, you’ll be by my side for a very long, long time.”

Kagome’s mind was buzzing with the information, already comprehending it and yet still trying to tear it all apart to put it all in a nice and neat row. “When did Mikage-sama pick up on this?”

Tomoe hummed as his nose brushed along her cheek, lips barely pressing kisses. One hand cupped the back of her neck while the other dipped to the small of her back. “Hmm, when he felt that I needed to learn compassion for humans. Which in general, I tend to avoid as only one woman holds my heart.”

“Tomoe…” Kagome noticed that said kitsune shuddered at her whisper, melting into his embrace and clinging to him. “Should I ever marry, my family will want it to happen at the family shrine.”

Smirking, since Tomoe knew she had finally accepted, though was teasing him as well as any vixen would. “I doubt Mikage-sama would mind if he were the one to bless us.”

Smiling, Kagome shook her head at the game they were now playing. “They would never let me marry before I’ve yet to complete my schooling. Perhaps have me wait until I’ve at least started university.”

Tomoe’s grip tightening on Kagome. “I’ve waited five centuries, a handful of years is but a drop in the well.”

Leaning up to whisper in his ear, smiling at how he shuddered when her lips and breath tickled the furry appendage. “I think they would be alright with me having a room…mate.”

A low growl rumbled from deep within his chest, “Vixen, teasing me so is dangerous.” he nipped at the lobe of her ear.

“I’m sure asking one of the girls wouldn’t be opposed to sharing an apartment. Would be cost effective for us, and we’d be sure of our roommate.” Kagome shrugged as she looked off to the side, acting as if she weren’t affected by their little game. “This way Mama would be sure of my safety. Of my, virtue’s, safety. One can never tell with men…”

Tomoe leaned up, face neutral while his eyes smoldered down at her. “Best scurry along inside, dear, before you suffer a kitsune’s wrath,” he smirked as she squeaked and was quick to rush inside the shrine, barely remembering to pick up the fallen broom. He waited a few minutes to allow her time to believe he calmed down when really, he was trying to decide which form of punishment would best suit her teasing.

Hunting after his lovely little miko, Tomoe smiled feeling free for the first time in a long time. “Ready or not, here I come, Kagome.”

#prompts #fanfiction #crossovers #anime #Kamisama Hajimemashita #Tomoe #Kagome Higurashi