#and so similar to my own experience with depression

[finedinereception]

i think simon does end up physically back to where he started, mostly because i really want to explore the idea of simon emotionally hurting himself by trying to draw a line between himself and ice king. because the thing is that even if hes physically back to normal, he still is mentally afflicted by the remains of magic insanity and all the memories of those 900 years. hes extremely forgetful. he loses his temper more easily than before, or will start crying for reasons beyond his understanding. his physical coordination isnt as good as it was before. he feels godawful when magic queen puts the daily checklist back on the wall, because hes normal now, why cant he just remember to eat every morning? why is he getting lost 2 blocks away from his own home? why is he losing his temper over incredibly mild things?

its about the internalized hatred for himself. cutting a piece of his own identity away because hes not as well as he once was. he was ice king for longer than he was simon, but he doesnt want to acknowledge that it is part of his history and identity. itd be easier if ice king was a stranger who took control of his body for a while.

and he really needs to come to terms with the fact that he IS ice king, ice king IS him, just a different phase of his life, because pushing that fact away is only hindering his recovery.

#adventure time #simon petrikov #wizard married au #to be clear im not gonna label it with a specific mental illness because it can be a sensitive subject #its a magic-based condition similar to real world mental illnesses that makes him forgetful and damages coordination and mood regulation #but i dont wanna go hyper specific since i dont have experience with such conditions #my own experiences are mostly with cluster b disorders. bipolar depression. and anxiety #and he is refusing to use the coping methods ice king and magic queen came up with together because doing so would mean accepting ice king #as himself #and doing that is going to be an important step in moving forward #betty has also got some memory restoration stuff going on but its gonna be a LOT more complex and long-term

[coldercreation]

PSA: 

If you have related to how I have described Nathan’s struggles with his mental health and some experiences with life; emotional, physical and social etc (ignore the story/his fam background for this; I mean if you have been able to relate to his feelings/anxiety/negative physical sensations etc.)

Might be worth it to get your blood checked. 

Especially B12, Vitamin D, Iron levels and Ferritin (ferritin should be 100+).

Building on top of the character, character background, and my research into trauma / mental health etc, I have always used a lot of my personal experience when describing emotions, feelings, and how mental health issues can feel like or present. It’s my attempt to make the writing feel realistic, had I experienced the things in the story or not. Aka even if the story was high fantasy and thus not realistic, I’d source my own feelings to make it ‘real’.

So. Regardless of what's causing it in the story: If you have ever related to how Nathan FEELS or describes his experience with the world and his brain… (Anxiety, depression, chronic fatigue, feeling like an outsider/in a fishbowl, easily overwhelmed or over tired; social withdrawal, social anxiety, heart palpitations, chest pains, breathlessness, dissociation, irritability, issues with cognitive function; memory, overthinking, insomnia, brain fog, panic attacks, slow recovery from physical activity, etc etc et fucking c) 

Turns out bish has been chronically deficient of many things for a very long time due to stomach issues that stopped nutrients from absorbing. Antidepressants have never successfully worked for me, and it’s now looking like that’s because my mental health stuff could've largely been a physical symptom, instead of just purely mental health?? 

I have been on a pile of supplements for a bit now and uhh… It’s like night and day? Even with the other health stuff I've been getting treated for, it's been... So much better?? Like. Life changing amount of difference?? And I’m only just starting out fixing these deficiencies, which could take a long time. But...

Holy shit, “Better” might actually be a real thing after all?? There was a reason I've been so "stuck"???

Kind of mad… And sad. Because if this is true and I keep feeling like I have been recently, it means I’ve lost a lot of time to this. I try to focus on how good I’ve been feeling though, and stay curious for this journey of what literally feels like a second chance at life.

Just… Wanted to post this in case it could help someone else. This is a highly personal experience, mental health issues absolutely exist on their own too and there's possibly often overlap as well. But stuff like this can make existing mental health conditions worse too, so either way it’s worth checking. 

Yeah. So.

Happy new year?

From someone who might be pulling a whole Phoenix moment???? xx

#Apologies for the silence here #Been going through a lot if you can imagine lol #I have a bunch of asks and messages to catch up to #I'm so sorry for taking forever #It might take me a bit longer still but I promise I'll get back on here at some point hopefully soon #Your messages mean so much to me<3 #Take care everyone <3 #Also #the description of Nathan's experience could and would still be rather accurate #even if you don't have these physical health issues!! #Depression and anxiety etc from a deficiency is still depression and anxiety #+ when I write Nathan I have a set of mental health “maps” or “guides” for his character (like C-PTSD and CEN and OCD) #Yes I use my own feelings and experiences to describe his anxiety etc #But his character is built around specific mental health markers / trauma research / symptoms etc (like C-PTSD and CEN and OCD) #So I'm pretty sure Nathan's POV would still look very similar based on just that research and ignoring the stuff in this post #Hope this all makes sense :'o

[ronkeyroo]

TW; Themes of depression , Self loathing & Implication/mentions of self harm

It wasn’t her lycanthropy that made her feel like a monster, it was but her own damaged heart and inner demons.

And So she ran away - believing her very presence was a burden too heavy to carry, if only to protect her loved ones from her own demise - No matter how deeply she wanted to run back and crash into his embrace, no matter how deeply her heart yearned to accept his love.

#tw; depression #tw; self harm themes #Heavy themes #Ventart #Vilkas #werewolf oc #Werewolves #werewolf dovahkin #Dovahkin oc #I've been processing alot of heavy things yesterday...ones i felt most fitting to express through Ravens story #it wasnt easy...but im glad i did it #finding comfort through storytelling has been a healthy way to both express and reflect on it all #theres so much i have to say about this encounter and its backstory...But so much of it relates to my own personal struggles #lycanthropy and themes of self control/self hatred...its been weaved through Raven ever since her creation #its as though it goes hand by hand. mirroring one another #I chose vilkas for this scene because of how much she can relate to his own experiences #Ive always headcanond vilkas' lycanthropy taking a great toll on his mental health #enough to leave him with very similar conflicts of wanting to tear away at everything #its such a painful hc but i imagine he always wears bandages around his arms to hide away self harm caused by when he tries to #fight against his lycanthropy and the call of the blood #both Raven and Vilkas have such a complex background and I really wnat to see how they can work through it with their relationship #i believe there will be a part two leading for a more hopeful ending... ;; #these two have so much to godamn deal with and i just want them to find happiness together #im so sorry for dropping such hurt/angst on your feed...Ill make up for it when i can #theres still alot to this scene that has been left untold and i want to share on the hopeful/loving resolution that follows. #they love each other alot. and theyll get through this. they always do #skyrim art shenanigans #skyrim #tes #werewolf angst

[mariemariemaria]

Does anybody else feel the waves of history crashing over them constantly and like they can't escape the generational trauma that permeates and poisons every interaction they have or do I just need to chill and have a drink lol

#'our day has come and we are here. we are alive here. we've built this place. we suffered and starved here. #we own not an acre of land we belong to it. the land of cú chullain and macha. ní muid 'hungry crocodiles'. we are full. #full of knowledge. and talent. and success. #full of drink. and drugs. and stories. #agus beautiful ceol. that spills on sundays. from the windows of ancient pubs like smoke #tá vóta agam. tá acht Gaeilge agam. agus táimid sa rialtas. #we are the landscape. we are the trees and the rivers and the mountains. an integral piece of someone else's infrastructure. #growing strong between cracks in the concrete.' #and whatever else seán an seanchaí said..... #would recommend his instagram. his posts always hit #ngl tho when men post stuff like this about ireland i always think...do you see the similarities between this and patriarchy tho? #but maybe im better off not knowing the answer #whatever!!! we will persevere!!! we will help one another and build trust and relations and improve no matter what governments say or do!!! #just like generations have been doing before us!!! and we who have benefited from our parents making this place better will work to make it #better for our children. who will make it better for theirs. #and maybe i need to stop shying away from difficult conversations. maybe we all do. and maybe then we'll be okay. #my thoughts on mental health + the north + my own personal experience is such a mish mash of several different things #im only truly starting to realise that it's all connected. yes i got depression because i was lonely and vulnerable. but also because of th #trauma my family's been through. and sometimes i feel so angry thinking about what certain family members have been through #and there has been too much silence surrounding it. but maybe i just have to feel the anger and sadness and allow myself to feel it #but continue reaching out and trying to talk and having cups of tea and walking my dog and making memories. #memories that aren't political or based on trauma. to get out of my head and realise that yes this was a terrible thing #but there's so many good things too. and the best thing i can do is to try to make life better for those who lived through the worst of it #and make society better for those who are too young to know any of it yet. #instagram is actually a tonic for me sometimes. would never get such taig specific posts on here like the one from seán #which is probably a good thing lol

[bettysupremacy]

hii! I was wondering if you could write a fic with reader and any marauder (they all fit) and maybe helping or becoming protective over the reader after a concert or party after a creep follows the reader? 😭

I went through a similar experience with a guy following me around after I went to the restroom after a concert, and it ruined my night if i'm being honest, I was scared 😞 I'm not the most shy of people and usually I can handle myself but it was pretty dark and idk the adrenaline from feeling happy to scared shifted pretty quickly. Luckily I found my friends and let them know and we quickly went back to our car (along with a few dirty looks from my friends god bless lol). I swore I could go to the restroom by myself- will not be doing that again :(

you can ignore this request if it makes you uncomfortable!

thank uu

i’m so sorry that happened to you! “(they all fit)”= poly marauders!

There’s something about post concert depression, especially when you’re with the band.

Your glitter eyeshadow is smudged, eyeliner untouched. You’d been shaken around in the pit of your boyfriends fans, and yet the paint hasn’t budged. God bless water-proof makeup. The world seems prettier like this, touched by alcohol and the feeling of soaring pride for your boyfriends. The glittery lights and signs of time square never fail to dazzle you, even now as you lean against Sirius morosely.

“M’hungry.” You frown, toes tipping up towards Sirius, though you fear the mumble may have been more for yourself.

His attention is diverted towards the boys as they discuss what to do now. Plans of how to get home and where to eat. His finger taps your cheek slowly, his focus paying you no mind. Words like Uber, hotel, room service echo throughout their very repetitive conversation.

“Sirius.”

He looks down, a little shocked and sorry at his own attention. “Yes, lovely?”

“M’hungry.”

“Hungry?” He asks, cringing. You’re about thirty minutes from the hotel, and even then, room service will take another thirty.

“So hungry.”

He sighs, unsure of what to do.

“There’s a hotdog stand over there.” You grab his tattooed bicep to balance yourself as you point to your right.

He thinks, peering down at you. “This won’t ruin your dinner?” It’s midnight, but still.

“No,” you sing, reaching up to cup his cheeks. “I really want a hotdog.

He flushes, looking away from your wandering eyes. Normally he wouldn’t let you out of his sight. They would never let you out of their sight in a place like this. But the cart is in eye view of the boys, and he has faith in you not to stray, even in your inebriated manor. It’s not that they don’t trust you, they just prefer to keep you safe themselves. Is that okay?

“Okay,” He murmurs, pulling out his wallet, handing you his card. “At least get the good toppings.”

“I always get the good toppings.” You pull away.

The walk is short and the cart is colorful. Red and white stripes, curvy calligraphy. It shines in your inebriated vision. Beautiful. The queues not long, just an older man waiting in front of you, but it feels like forever as the generous man (with the toppings as well) takes your order and wraps it in warm aluminum foil.

You take the hotdog eagerly. “Thank you.”

It’s heavy in your hands, warm too. You yell Sirius’ name excitedly, waving the hotdog above your head for him to see. He laughs, thumbs up until you bump into a man, smile fading, concern etching his brows.

“Oh,” you murmur, looking up. “I’m sorry.”

“No problem,” he smiles. It’s uncomfortable, not the smile of a friendly civilian.

You laugh. It’s polite, anyone can see that, but he leans closer. He smells like liquor, a disgusting discovery that has you subconsciously leaning away.

“You new around here?”

An actual laugh stumbles out of your lips. “London? No.”

He takes this as an entrance. “You should show me around.”

“No, thank you.” You try to walk past him. Towards Sirius who’s already walking over. “Goodnight.”

“Wait,” he grabs your arm, pulling you back. His fingers dig into your elbow painfully.

“What the fuck,” you gasp, pulling your arm away roughly. “don’t touch me.”

“C’mon,” The man slurs, fingers reaching for you again. “Don’t be-“

“Hello?” Sirius walks up, all stock. He grabs your forearm pulling you to him firmly, getting in between you and the man. He’s not much taller, but more intimidating in demeanor. “Do we have a problem?”

“No,” the man scoffs.

“Cause it looks like you put your hands on her.”

He scoffs again, clearly inebriated. “We were just talking.”

“Well, conversations over now.”

“She can make her own decisions.”

“Fuck off, bro.” Sirius waves his hand dismissively. Quickly, he walks you towards the boys who are peeking their eyes up from the Uber app.

“She was asking for it.”

Sirius reels back, dropping your forearm to shove the scary stranger in the chest. He pushes hard, the man losing his balance as he falls to the ground in a sickening thud. You gasp loudly, the unexpected conflict startling you. Vaguely you hear Sirius say something to him, but you’re too focused on the way the man looks up at you.

James and Remus are there in seconds, quick on Sirius’s heels. They pull at him, up and off the man. There were no real punches thrown, no real injuring blows, it wasn’t even enough to form a crowd. But still, you’re shaken. You shiver like a leaf under your James’ leather jacket, suddenly not feeling the warmth of the alcohol you’d consumed before the concert.

Slowly, you stumble back and way from your boys, to the bench next to the shitty bar you’d passed on your way home. That had been scary, but you’re safe; that had been scary, but Sirius dealt with it. You bring your hand up to your chest, setting the hotdog you had been eager to buy down next to you.

“Hi,” Remus pushes aside the hotdog to sit next to you. “Are you okay?”

You look up to the boy, blindingly beautiful in the streetlights and advertisements. “Yes.”

He pushes some stray hair from your face. “He didn’t hurt you?”

“I think it was more startling.” James sits on the other side of you, kissing your temple firmly. “I’m sorry he did that.”

“It’s okay, I’m okay.”

“She’s okay.” Sirius gruffs from where he walks over.

He sounds cooler than he thinks he looks. He’s not bruised, bloodied, or bandaged, if he were he thinks he’d look cool enough to breeze over. But then again you look mad, so maybe he doesn’t want that.

“Don’t be upset,” Sirius crouches to your level. You’re in the arms of a solid Remus. “he was a creep.”

“Are you hurt?”

“Are you trying to tell me something?” He laughs roguishly. “I thought I looked good tousled.”

He does, and you know he’ll look good on the tabloids tomorrow too. Sirius black gives black eye? You sigh at the thought.

“You do.” James feeds Sirius.

“At least someone in this relationship cares for my ego.”

“You look good.”

“Oh, now you tell me.”

You laugh, letting Sirius stare at you like you hung the moon.

“Kiss em?” He pushes his knuckles in front of your lips. His fingers throb lightly, you can feel it on your lips.

“That was stupid.”

“C’mon,” Sirius’ eyes roll as he pulls you up. “You’ve got a hotdog to eat.”

#sirius black x reader fluff #sirius black blurb #sirius black hurt/comfort #sirius black x y/n #sirius black x you #sirius black fluff #sirius black x reader #sirius black fic #sirius fanfiction #sirius black fanfic #sirius black fanfiction #sirius x you #sirius x reader #remus x sirius #poly!marauders x reader #poly!marauders fluff #poly!marauders x you #poly!marauders imagine #james potter x you #james potter fluff #james potter x reader #james potter blurb #james potter imagine #james x reader #james potter fic #james x you #james potter fanfic #james potter fanfiction #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x reader

[lqveharrington]

If Only | L.M.

summary: You and Lucifer were bond through the soulmate system, but how could you be soulmates when he had Lilith?

pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x fallen seraphim!reader

includes: kinda soulmate au? fluff, angst, mentions of death, lucifer feeling like a bad parent (that’s pretty much it, let me know if i missed any!)

a/n: i wrote this at night the other day. toward the very end i was very proud of what i wrote 😭🙏 time for my requests i’ve gotten !!!

Ever since Lilith left Lucifer seven years ago, he never expected to meet another who made his heart soar. He fell into a deep state of depression and only started to get out more when Charlie invited him to stay at the hotel after the latest extermination. He got his own royal suite and joined in on Charlie’s lessons, but it still wasn’t enough to keep up with his daughter’s upbeat attitude every day.

It wasn’t enough to help pull him out of his depression until you came along to the hotel.

The moment you stepped into the hotel and greeted Charlie with the same enthusiasm made him smile. It was just another plus that you were a fallen angel, more so a fallen seraphim. And he swore that when you first met his gaze for that split second your eyes glowed pink as he felt his eyes do the same. He thought that would never happen again, but here he stood with an adoring face while you spoke to his daughter like you’ve known her since she was a child.

Soon enough, you and Lucifer were introduced to one another properly, the pink glow in both your eyes returning.

“It’s nice to meet the head man himself.” You grin as he kisses the back of your hand. “And such a gentleman as well.”

“What can I say? I’m quite the ladies' man.” He winked as he saw you burn bright.

As months passed since your first official interaction, you and Lucifer grew closer, bonding on your similar and different experiences. Whether you bonded over one of Charlie’s redemption activities or relaxed in his suite, you both found contentment in each other, letting each other enjoy the company.

“You know, I’m not going to relax when you keep tugging my book away.” You grab his wrist as he reaches for the book for the nth time in thirty minutes. “I’m going to leave your room.”

“Please don’t.” He tugged you closer to his side, head resting on your shoulder. “I don’t want to move from this spot again.”

You tilt your head toward him, eyes glowing a faint pink. “Then let me read.” You let a small smile slip through when he grumbled an incoherent sentence.

Lucifer’s eyes softened when you returned to read your book, watching your eyes scan the words in front of you. His mind and heart racing a million miles per hour whenever you were around. He couldn’t decide what was right. Was his heart telling him to move on? Or was it just aching to be affectionate with another?

The signs were pointing in different ways, but surely the answer was right in front of him. He just had to understand what it was before the magic between you two would fully disappear.

“Staring is highly distracting, Luce.” Your eyes flit up to meet him again. “I can’t focus.”

“You must really like me then.” He gave you a cocky grin

You roll your eyes, shutting the book. “You’ve ruined the book for me. I’m never going to finish that book now.”

“That book wasn’t good anyways.” He brought the comforter up and over the both of you. He locked his arms around your waist, pulling your back to his front. You felt yourself loosen up by his touch, letting out a small breath of exhaustion. “I’m spent after all the bonding activities today, beautiful. I think we can skip our kitchen run tonight and just go to bed.”

“Were you really waiting for me to finish reading so we could sleep?” You murmur as you feel him nod. You let out a small laugh, “Wow, I would have never stooped so low.”

Lucifer shushed you, “I’m sleeping, good night.”

A soft smile takes over your burning face, turning in his arms to face him. “Good night, Luce.”

He didn’t say anything else but quietly played with your hair, listening to your steady breathing as sleep consumed you. Lucifer always made sure you fell asleep first, wanting you to get a good night's sleep before he did. Yet, he didn’t exactly know when you both went from friends to whatever this was, but he wasn’t complaining if he got to see you sleep in his arms every once in a while.

And it wasn’t like Lucifer was the only one to notice your unusual relationship with one another. You noticed it as well. From the soft touches to the sleepovers at his suite, you knew it was more than just a simple friendship. But what could you do when he still wore his wedding ring?

“What’s happening?” You lay your legs across Lucifer’s lap, taking a glance at the news channel cast upon his suite’s television.

Lucifer rubbed your calf, golden ring a cold contrast to his warm fingers. “They’re interviewing Charlie for her hotel. They know how the extermination happened this year, so I’m hoping the questions are more targeted toward how her hotel will work than how it was fighting angels.”

You frown at the feel of his ring, even more so when he mentions the death of angels. “What happened the last time they interviewed her?”

He scoffed, “They were so rude to her. I mean, I understand we’re in Hell, but she’s their fucking princess. They only brought down her ideas, not asking enough about how she intends to accomplish redemption. I wish I could have done something back then, you know? Show them why I’m the King of Hell.”

You reach across to link a hand with his, giving him a small smile when he meets your glowing pink eyes that match his pair. “Luce, you’re a wonderful parent. I know you want to protect your daughter, but it’s in the past. She knows you love her and look at you two now! You’re supporting her dreams and whatever lies in store for them.”

“Thank you…” He felt the golden ring become heavy on his finger, an uncomfortable weight that was never there appearing. “You’re not half bad of a parent yourself.”

“What?” You let out a confused laugh, thumbing his hand. “I’m not anyone’s parent.”

“Yeah, but—“ He gestured toward the television where they switched the camera toward Charlie before switching to a quick commercial break. “—You've been more of a mother to Charlie than her biological mother in one year. The second you stepped into this hotel, she lit up around you.” His downturned smile grew bigger when you tilted your head. “Charlie may be a very trusting person, but she knows when someone is going to support her with anything she accomplishes. You were one of those people.”

You feel yourself warm at the small confrontation, “I’m sure she thinks of me as any other resident at the hotel, Luce. Don’t boost my ego, you have enough for the both of us.”

“Hey now.” He squeezed your leg. “I’m being nice, and you’re just hurling insults at my face.”

“Me? Never.”

He continued to rub a small pattern, thoughts running back and forth before turning back to you. “I’m serious though. She really loves you… Almost as much as I do.”

Your eyes widened, meeting his eyes that were now glowing a much brighter pink than usual. “You… I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“I admire you a lot, beautiful.” He confessed, confidence boosting his voice. “Ever since I laid my eyes on you, and not just because of your looks. You handled Charlie better than I did in the last seven years, and I couldn’t ask for a better person to let her be herself when I’m not around.”

Your eyes glowed brighter at his words, squeezing his hand. “Lucifer, I admire you as much as you love Charlie, but it’s a matter of soulmates versus those of the past.” You gesture toward his ring, pursing your lips at the sight. “Are you sure you’re truly ready to move on? From the entire time I’ve known you, you’ve never taken that ring off.”

“I’m sure.” He let his hand holding yours drift up to cradle your cheek, snapping his finger to get rid of the ring and away in his back drawer. “She’s left me for almost a whole decade, I think I have the permission to move on.”

You melt into his hand, pressing a soft kiss to his palm. “If it’s what you really want, Luce.”

“It is.” He left a small kiss at your temple. “Because I know you’ll still be with me when all of Hell falls apart and all my magic is gone.”

“You’re so cheesy.” You lean back on the couch, letting your head rest on his shoulder. “Will you officially be mine, Lucifer Morningstar?”

“Always, beautiful.” He kept your hands linked as he pressed a promise kiss to your ring finger. “Always.”

©lqveharrington - all rights reserved. do not copy, translate or share my work on other media platforms

#august’s works 🫧 #lucifer magne #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin lucifer #lucifer morningstar smut #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer x reader #lucifer morningstar #jeremy jordan #hazbin hotel angst #hazbin hotel fandom #hazbin x reader #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel self insert #hazbin hotel x y/n #hazbin hotel reader insert #hazbin hotel oneshots #hazbin hotel drabble #hazbin hotel fluff #hazbin hotel blurb #hazbin charlie #charlie morningstar #charlie hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel lilith #hazbin lilith

[firemama]

Do you commonly get hate for your AU SlaveTale, due to its name and theme? What do you have to deal with, and what do you usually say to defend yourself to the people who find it problematic?

forgive me in advance if this is full of spelling errors but I am Very Sick (maybe covid?) and it is also 2am so i cannot be asses to spell check

Do I currently get any hate or criticism, specifically, for the topic slavery being a focal point of the AU? No, I don't, not for that. Not currently, at least. I wouldn't say i've ever gotten 'hate' on the topic- present time, certainly not. In the present time, I am not the only person that has looked at the concept of Undertale and Slavery or Sub-Personhood status; Taking humans and political atmospheres and the history of out species into account, mistreatment of a new species (alients, monsters, mutants, etc) is not only a reasonable consideration but also a popular one in sci-fi, and that said: is not somewhat common and has been visited before by others.

So, if anything: No, I dont get any 'hate' and, these days, not much of any criticism either. It's a topic lots of people have explored.

NOW, six years ago? The closest to 'hate' I had on the topic back when I started ST ( to my knowledge, the concept hadn't been done before? but i'd hesitate to say "of yeah i'm the first person to write this idea") existed more in the form of 'well I DONT THINK this could ever happen' and 'humans are so far past slavery, we're beyond that' and... you know, slavery is still an active issue in the world. Most of the world's fishing industry in the east functions on slavery, major american corporations, for example the chocolate or coffee industry, still use slavery- and there is definitely a lucrative black market in the Body industry for kidnapped peoples and children. I myself live in florida, the number one state for human trafficing, where Tampa is- the number one city for trafficing. There are numerous factories world-wide that function almost exclusively on Slave work internationally.

It is not an issue Humans have defeated, and when someone says that, they're usually implying that Racially-based slavery (in the united states) is over and done with. That in and of itself isn't even all that true- again, I live in florida. My hometown had high hispanic-persons kidnapping rates. There's a strong argument for prison based labor requirements just being reformatted slavery- and we all know the statistics in the US on minorities being sentenced and kept in prisons, even for the most moderate of charges or even outright framing.

If corporations could get away with it, they would immedeatly inslave their employee populous- Amazon even Tried, by replacing actual monetary payment with shit like Amazon-based currency (basically fun points) and placing career demands so strenous they can kill, while refusing basic rights like restrooms- which is a quick way to create a modernized capitalistic installment of feudalistic workers. Which: Slavery by force of "you either do what I say or you starve to death."

THIS topic is getting away from me and is already long winded. So lets say: I find that kind of 'hate' that I used to get entirely unfounded. And while I dont get that kind of 'hate' anymore, gesturing to the incorrectness of those statments is usually my response, and then stop answering if people continued to argue it.

BUT, I feel like what you're asking me is more specific than you phrased it, so I'll go back to a previously mentioned topic: racially motivated slavery, and if I've been contacted about it in relation to ST. The answer is yes. I wouldn't call it 'hate', I would call what I've been asked or prompted as 'critique'. There used to me someone who followed along with my story when it was roughly only 20 chapters or so; They didnt like that my MC was white coded while dealing with the concept of slaves. My MC isn't intentionally white-coded, more so privledge-coded; but obviously theres going to be some coding of white-ness in 'race-unspecified-privleged-person' and more so because I, too, am white. Which leads into other factors that I haven't been able to approach well in my story.

There was a time roughly 40 chapters into the story (after the critique that the MC is white-coded had marinated with me for a while) where I wanted the MC character to interact with with a character I'd put together for the purpose; During the phase where the MC is explaining their resume to the brothers or hunting for a new job while relapsing to old unhealthy work, I wanted to include a scene where the reader goes to an interview for a prospective job, taking Sans and Papyrus. They'd meet their boss and it would be a man names Nasha- and it's been a while, and I never used him, so I don't remember all the details I put together, but the background information on this character included that his family would be of Nigerian decent, he would have a characteristic Purple sweatervest, he would dislike lemon flavored tea but would have it in his office for visitors, and he would be loosely connected to the MC's future employers, the Rainbow, and would be the one to forward her name to them. This character never made it to the story, because I didn't know how to write his scene- I rewrote it three times. First, very left-leaning on the topic, like the Reader, but unsympathetic, also like the reader. The MC doesnt get the job primarily because he's disgusted by personhood ownership (and secondarily because the MC shows up late and is poorly prepared for the interview) and would be absolutely indifferent to and hinting that it's and effort to Protect them (just as the reader is shown to be indifferent to Apollo explaining his monster for the same reason).

And then I reread it, and thought... too aggressive, right? too idealistic, too, for a man in charge of a branch of a company? surely he's not so moral. that he'd be too professional to really respond to the fact that reader brought two slaves into the interview and would be vaguely acclimated to the Slave environment that exists in the world of the story. So i re-wrote him more neutrally; that he'd be subtleley displeased, but not hinging his hiring opinions on it, and wouldnt really acknowledge the Brothers as slaves, so much as he has just adapted to the slavery society-wide.

And I... rewrote it again, because I still didnt like it or feel confident with it. The MC isn't supposed to get the job no matter what, but the interview is supposed to be a contributor to good things down the line. In the previous two versions of the writing, Nasha is a friend and benefactor to the Rainbow group, and forwards the MC's application and Resume to them, in hopes of getting her two monsters taken/rescued from her possession. In re-writing three, Nasha is a sympathetic man that would take some small mercy on the MC's clearly ruffled and exhausted appearance and her Monsters that are aparently to be well-cared for and, more or less, doesnt care about the implications that they're technically slaves and takes her word for everything. He tries to hire her, and things don work out, but he forwards her information along. And I never even finished writing this one because it just felt........ not right, writing this black man to be so forgiving and chill with situational slavery, because yeah while Slavery doesn't have to be and isn't always a ratially motivated thing, there is definitely racial context in the situation.

I decided I didnt know how to write the opinion of a black man on this situation. I asked a writing friend, Bein- who is Korean and not black- if he had any thoughts, because I always asked his opinion back then. And we both sort of concluded that we just dont have the context to write that opinion, and I took out Nasha's scene and moved the Rainbow grroup's introduction down the line and made it a more abrupt change rather than a gradual one.

In hindsight, I don't like how I handled that uncertainty; I still don't think removing the black character completely was a just answer, But i still dont think it was my right to write the opinion of a poc on a social-level opinion of a modern slavery situation. I think it would have been nice to have someone to ask who was black to muse with me on the subject, but other than Bein (who actually went offline not long after that and we havent really talked since) and my current Partner, I dont really TALK about characters or story stuff to anyone, so I dont really have anyone to ask.

This isn't something i've ever gotten 'hate' about, and I've never actually gotten a critique before regarding an absence of black opinion on the MC having slaves- and the fact that i've never gotten so much as a critique about it is... surprising. A little disconcerting, even? It makes me wonder if the audience of of ST is all-white-leaning and thus doesnt notice- and if it is, and my thing i wrote caters only to one group, that would concern me because it means i've probably turned away other groups and im really doing this shit wrong if I am, so...

(I wanted to write it so badly back when I was writing Nasha that I even considered asking my aunts or cousins but could not conceivably come up with a way to ask my very baptist-christian-bliblical-evangelical family who have never once heard of the word 'fanfiction' about the specifics without letting them read my undertale fanfic and that is probably the most mortifying thin a then-17-year-old could possibly fucking conceive.)

Bottom Line: no, I dont really get critique or 'hate' based on the slavery subject matter anymore. Maybe I should be getting some. I'm trying to write it properly, and i can certainly recognize there should be a little more representation of poc and black opinion than there currently is, but I feel rather under-qualified for writing it.

#would I ask my aunt who is a pastor to read my story about magic monster slaves with heavy depression themes? #maybe on my deathbed (not then either nope) #munchatter #I'm having a very similar problem with something i've been writing lately #its a fucking death note piece that i will probably never publish #but like im trying to do research on black kid raised in japan prejuidices to honor my main character's possible experiences #and i am constantly struck with a conflicting sense of unqualified to write but also that i want to overcome that #and it seems very important to do it right given deathnote is #a story thematically dependant on japanese socio-political relation to cop corruption and all that #but just like i dont really have anyone i currently talk to #i definitely dont have anyone to talk to about the extremely specific combination of black AND raised in japan #which is why it will probably never be shared #look im tryin to be forthcoming about my own flaws but this gives me anxiety that im gunna be set up for hate messages so #i might delete this later if the attention is negative

[copperbadge]

In the ongoing discussion of aphantasia (see "an aphantasia fantasia" tag for more) an article popped up recently which has some details to share, including a history of how aphantasia was discovered in the scientific sense. I don't have "spatial thoughts" the way the author does, but it's also a pretty good discussion of how people who don't form mental images (or can't access sound, smell, etc in their minds) still interact normally with the world.

Here's some fucked up shit I didn't expect, however:

In a 2015 paper, a group of researchers [...] identified a new syndrome they called “Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory,” or SDAM for short. People with SDAM lack the ability to relive past experiences in their minds. While this condition is rare among the general population, a preliminary survey hints at a link with aphantasia, with as many as 51 percent of a sample of 2,000 SDAM individuals also having aphantasia. My own experience is similar. Past episodes of my life—when I can recall them at all—feel distant and non-sensory. [...] I would describe my recollections as summaries of key facts rather than first-person “mind movies.” When asked, out of the blue, about an experience I’ve surely had—say, any childhood birthday party—my mind first responds by drawing a blank. It feels as if my episodic memories were filed into a “mental cabinet” without an index. Many memories are in there, somewhere, but retrieving them is a daunting task unless I’m provided with very specific prompts. With some groping work of deduction (where did I live at the time? Who did I hang out with?) I can gather enough hints to bring out some locations and non-visual facts: I had a big party in our countryside garden when I was 11 or 12; there was cake; a lot of kids running around and … that’s about it.

This is one hundred percent how I access memory and how I assumed everyone did -- I am well aware I don't remember chunks of my past (or only remember them if prompted by something) but I do the same thing he does. I ask myself where I was living, or what other things were happening at the time, or I snag on a rare memory of a piece of clothing or a feeling, and I extrapolate from there. I don't relive memories in the way that the article implies regular people do, and while I will recognize say, the smell of a specific library, a deeply ingrained scent for me, I don't remember the smell if I'm not standing there smelling it. And this explains my dedication to making an annual photobook documenting the past year, each December -- the photobooks are powerful memory triggers and have more than once reminded me where I was or what year it was when I did XYZ thing.

Also, turns out that one of the key methods for emotional regulation in most people is calling up a happy memory to counteract sad ones, which is why depression is so pervasive, because depressed people have literal biological impairments to remembering or reliving positive memories.

And SDAM, associated with aphantasia, is an impairment to reliving any memory at all, so...

Big ol' neurological yikes, guys.

#sam has adhd #an aphantasia fantasia #aphantasia

[ilovedthestars]

On System Collapse, Sanctuary Moon, and saving one another.

I said the other day that System Collapse might be my new favorite Murderbot book. The first time I thought that was in the middle of chapter eight, the chapter where Murderbot and its humans make a documentary to show the colonists what the Corporation Rim is like. The whole book was good, but that was the chapter that felt like it was reaching out to me the most.

The thing that struck me about it is how Murderbot saves the colonists with media. It was saved by media—Sanctuary Moon helped it rewire its neural tissue, process its trauma, find a place for itself in the world. And coming up with the idea of using media to convince the colonists is what drags it out of the depressive state it’s been in for the entire book up to that point, and lets it start to feel hopeful again. It literally tells us in its narration that the emotional reactions it has when it comes up with this idea are similar to the ones it had watching Sanctuary Moon for the first time. The thought of creating its own media, of finding a way to tell the truth and be listened to, of being able to keep people from being trapped in the corporate world it knows all too well, is just as much of a lifeline for it as Sanctuary Moon was.

Murderbot has been been feeling like a failure as a SecUnit for the entire book, and it finds its way out of that not through regaining its normal SecUnit competence but through art. Something it was never meant to experience or understand, let alone create, but something that shaped who it is. It takes the thing that saved it and turns it around to save others—and saves itself again, in the process.

And the other thing that jumped out at me, thinking about chapter eight, is that so many of us have been saved by media, too. So many of us have been saved by Murderbot, in big and small ways. I’m certainly one of them. Murderbot and the community of readers who love it gave me the space to stop and consider some things that (not unlike Murderbot) I hadn’t really been willing to examine. And now I get to figure myself out in a community full of aspec people who understand. Murderbot has given that opportunity to a lot of people.

Martha Wells has talked in interviews about how parts of Murderbot were based on herself. She says, in her introduction to the Subterranean Press edition, that media “probably saved [her] life as a kid,” including the kind of media that isn’t “cool” to be saved by. We’ve seen that in Murderbot ever since the very first line of All Systems Red. What we saw in chapter eight of System Collapse goes a step further. It makes me want to hold a mirror up—I hope Wells was aware, when she was writing it, that what Murderbot does for the colonists is something she’s done for a lot of others.

The colonists that Murderbot saves with its documentary are not real people. That scene, of course, is fiction. But it’s the kind of fiction that’s true in all the ways that matter.

I really love Murderbot. Not in a weird way. 💜

#stars has thoughts #system collapse #system collapse spoilers #murderbot #murderbot meta #the murderbot diaries #i was having so many emotions when reading chapter 8 #i paused after that chapter and wrote a draft of the second and third paragraphs of this post #it's about the parallels. between murderbot and its own past self #between murderbot and Wells. between murderbot and us. #it really genuinely made me want to hold that scene up to Martha Wells and say #you know that you did this for us‚ right?? #you know that you're saving people too?

[burstinn]

Bro..I love your blog already

Can you please do CoD (Ghost, soap, nikto, roach, könig, price, Gromsko(if you write for him) with male reader who has mouth like mileena from mortal combat 😵 you know..sharp ass teeth, Long slimy tongue and shit

Can be nsfw if you want👀

MALE READER WITH A MOUTH LIKE MILEENA

(Headcanons/ short story?)

People shown: Ghost, Soap, Nikto, Roach, König, Price,Gromsko. As per requested.

Warnings: body/face disfigurement?,small mention of experiment and torture, mentions of slight depression/ mental breakdowns.

Themes: fluff, slight angst, comfort, no nsfw for now ain't feelin the groove can be read with mutual or start of a romantic relationship. Just wanna be held and comforted fr fr 😞😞✋🤚

Note: I never wrote about Gromsko but I do know him. Had to do a research into him. So this is my interpretation of Gromsko hope I got him right.

Also these Headcanons ARE FUCKING LONG. so I hope you saved room for breakfast, lunch, dinner, appetizers, and dessert with complimentary drinks too.

Also this is kinda rushed? I didn't have time to proofread this. So like. Yeah..

You (M/N) had a very disfigured mouth a big slash across your lower face. Making it look like your lower face have been burnt in half. Showing sharp teeth protruding out accompanying it was your long sharp tounge. Your face adorned with scars and bruises you managed to collect through your time in the military. But when you had this type of injury..Where your mouth looks so horribly scarred you had to leave the military.

Due to how long you've been in the military. And how you've been tortured and experimented on making your face look like..this. You hated it. But you wanted to be back in the military for your own personal reasons.

Now since your back in the military you've kept your face hidden. You didn't want your new team to look at you in disgust and horror. They always used to be so scared. But it's a new team! You just have to keep your mask on and none would be the wiser.

GHOST

-Ever since Ghost saw you he always felt something was..off about you. It's not like you kept to yourself no you were sociable sometimes.

-But he kept his doubts about you to himself. You were a soldier. And just because he felt off doesn't mean he had to treat you differently

-He wasn't prodding or asking you about why you kept wearing you mask.

- You have your problems on why you wore your mask, He has his problems. It's like a little understanding why you kept your mask on 24/7.

- Then that one faithful day when you both were paired on a mission and you were caught by an enemy dragged to a building.

- Ghost was quick to follow you. He was nearby and saw you get dragged.

-He made his way silently and quickly through the building. Slipping in through a cracked window as he searched around cautiously.

-A bang could be heard, then a scream. Then silence.. That wasnt good. He swiftly ran over to where he heard the scream. And he found you..you weren't dead no. The enemy was. A big gnash on their neck as they slowly bled on the cold floor.

-And you were there. Coiled into a ball quietly sobbing, shaking your head. He glanced at the bleeding enemy one more time before he ran over to you immediately making his presence known as he gently grabbed your arms covering you face.

-When he pried your hands off and saw your face. He only sighed his eyes softening in small realization. Before he hugged you. As you continue to sob. He knew why you covered your face now... And he won't hate you for that.

SOAP

- He immediately took an interest towards you when he first saw you for the first couple weeks.

- He would stalk you for a bit. Realizing you never took your mask off..like Ghost.

- He didn't mind as well. Maybe you had a similar reason to Ghost. Although that didn't stop him to ask you to take off your mask.

- You took it well. Really just teasing him that you totally would show Soap your face.(you wouldn't, never)

- That only made Soap think that you would someday show your face.

- You both grew close. Always hanging out, making jokes, hell even sleeping in the same room.

- Although he would keep pestering you about your mask.

- You trusted him deeply and he trusted you.

- Then one day you pulled Soap in a closet.. Although he was a bit suspicious asking you slyly why you brought him here. Before you shut him up.

- It was serious.. you trusted him so so deeply.. maybe..he wouldn't judge you if you showed him..your face? And that's what you did. You explained why you called him here. Hus face bellowing with excitement. As you slowly took off your mask showing. Your face.

- You looked worriedly at him. Soap had gone silent. And he was just staring wide eyed...oh no..no..no.. that wasn't the reaction you wanted.

- You tried to explain..or try to convince Soap to not make you look like a freakish fool. But Soap just..ran out of the closet.. leaving you there dumbstruck..

- It was only later in the night. Specifically midnight. You couldn't forget how Soap looked at you it was heart wrenching. That was it. He thinks you look like a freak now.

- You hold your face in your hands. Sobbing about your friend.. that now thinks your disgusting.

- Then 3 knocks came at your door. You dawned your mask wiping away your tears before opening the door. Before you even react Soap pushes you in your room and closes the door.

- You don't respond. He whispers something to you then he removes your mask. Making you panic..Then he holds your face. Gentle and soft as he looks at you with a solemn smile.

- "M/N..." He whispers your name again as he rubs your lower face. Holding you in his arms as he whispers praises.. and apologies. For you.

NIKTO

- He wouldn't care about you

- He really didn't like or want any more new recruits. He found new people annoying. So when you first bumped into Nikto. He gave you a glare before he shoved past you.

- When he overheard people talking about how you never removed your mask. He got slightly curious so whenever you were nearby he would watch you. And they were right. You never took off your mask.

- One day he got frustrated with you. Do you think you're special for not taking off your mask?

You think you are cool? He seethed.

- Although he was a brute to you he was at least modest well.. modest to not pull your mask out of your face Infront of your teammates.

- Instead he cornered you somewhere private. Gruffly asking then commanding you to take off your mask.

- When you disagreed he ripped it off your face. And saw..your.. face. His eyes slightly widened.

- And when you started to panic trying to grab your mask while hiding it. Til' you eventually snatched it out of his hands when he was frozen with shock. You wore your mask and ran out.

- That's when Nik knew he fucked up. He knew he needed to apologize. So he went to search for you after he processed what happened now the guilt weighing down on him every minute he couldn't find you.

- When he finally found you probably hiding off somewhere, most likely avoiding Nik. He sat down next to you. Unsure how to start with his apology.

- When he finally blurted it out. Looking at you with obvious guilt in his eyes. But he knew sorry wasn't enough. So he took his mask off himself. Showing his own scars and bruises. Scooting himself closer to you still with that apologetic look.

- You talked for a while maybe about how you got your scar or not. About anything else.

ROACH

-Hes quiet around you. Once he first saw you he didn't really react much. It's just a new recruit nothing special.

- You never takes off your mask? Nothing special to him.

- He kept to himself you kept to yourself.

- he was just crawling around one day. Hiding up in small spaces and just idk stayed there.

- And when you bursted in closing the door behind you. He hid himself further in that corner he was in. He's not confronting you..nuh uh..

- He watched you stand there for a few minutes before you took of your mask. Showing off your lower face. Which made him go closer to see.

- Woah.. He watched you intently without your mask. Taking in every detail. He thought you looked cool. Didn't understand why you hid your face. Looked kinda sick tbh.

- That's when you felt someone watching you and you lock eyes with Roach. Your eyes widening hastily grabbing your mask and running off. Leaving Roach there with his thoughts. He must've understood enough you don't like being seen with your mask down.

- So the next few days. He watched you looking at you with a knowing look. While you looked back nervous and full of embarrassment?.

- And one of those days he was watching you. He walked up to you without saying anything and handed you a piece of ripped paper only reading

" You look cooler without your mask ".

KÖNIG

- He raised an eyebrow when he saw you. Almost already knowing you were the type of person who would keep him mask on.

- Not like he cares or anything

- He would though keep an eye on you. Just in case.. Not like he's interested in seeing your face or anything.

- From watching to discreetly following you around. Just to make sure okay? It's nothing else.

- When he was following you today. He watched from the side when a few other soldiers with the same rank as you walked in beside you. Poking and prodding on why you have to hude your face in a mask? Did you look sexy bad you had to hide it?

- When you ignored or scolded them. They quickly got annoyed with you and tried removing you mask. Even when you tried to shove and fight them off they would eventually take off your mask anyway.

- König knows he should stop he was about to when they finally managed to take off your mask. And they all backed away from you in disgust evidently on their face.

- If you got angry or sad they would just back away from you again. They don't care you looked disgusting. If you tried to grab your mask from someone they'd back away from you while screaming at you to get away from them.

- König didn't notice your face. Well not yet anyway. He made his presence known in a booming voice as he dismissed the people who just assaulted you. They're still holding your mask

- You try to hide your face but. That didn't work. Even when König saw you. He saw your face. His face softening when he saw you.

- He walks up to you. Going on his knees to take your hands off your face. As he looks up at you softly. Holding your hands in his.

- He shouldn't judge. He didn't really care. You are his soldier and you took his interest. He talked to you softly sprinkling in praises about your face while he tries to comfort you.

PRICE

- He knew about your face. It was already mentioned in your information when he read your file. He was the one who let you in 141 anyway. And he didn't mind

- He had seen lots of injuries all varying in scales. So he didn't really mind your face

- Wether you knew that Price knew about your face or not. He would be the first to call you everytime in his office to talk.

- Just discreetly talking about you. Maybe get you to open up to him. Which would then eventually lead to you opening up to the rest of the team.

- He wanted you to feel comfortable and feel part of the team. Always.

- He told you he knew about your face. Any reactions from you would just let him make you sit down as he tries to be your personal therapist. Assuring you that no one would judge you. If anyone did. He would make sure that they would be punished.

GROMSKO

- He would eye you at first before trying to impress you. Well trying to impress all the new recruits. Always showing off how good he is in what he does.

- When he noticed you never got rid off your mask. Not even talking to anyone why you take off your mask. He had a great idea.

- His first plan with you was to get you to take off your mask to him. Just so he could show off that he was the lucky guy to see your face.

- So he made himself get comfortable with you. Hanging around you, talking to you, trying to scope you out so he could get your trust and take your mask off around him. Maybe he could get a sweet picture so he could have proof.

- He would talk to you alot. Almost everyday actually, he would make himself hang around you. Maybe even begging to be in the same missions with you. Just so he could....why'd he hang out with you again??.. ahh he forgot!

- He just suddenly.. started wanting to be close friends with you. Forgetting his original reason.

-That was when he only remembered his initial reason why he was friends with you. When you pulled him somewhere private and you asking him if he wanted to see your face.

- He got excited. Even more when he remembers why you guys were friends. But a slight guilt stung him when he remembers why. His first intentions were.. really selfish. But now he was really fond of you.

- But he nodded and when you took of your mask seeing your mouth. Of course he got shocked and to your dismay backed away from you.

- He cleared his throat when he realized that wasn't really.. a good reaction really..

- So he moved closer to you. Admiring your sharp teeth and mouth.

- He even asked you to show your tounge. Just as impressive.

- He grew even more and more fond of you. You let him touch your lower face. He takes off his own as well. Showing his face. As he held your face.

- He whispered something polish about you looking so unique.. so special?...

- Then he didn't know why but. He just..I dont know.. pressed his lips on yours.. Not like it meant anything..or something.. (it totally meant something)

#call of duty x male reader #call of duty modern warfare x male reader #cod mw2 x male reader #gay #john soap mactavish x male reader #cod x male reader #cod x reader #Gromsko #gromsko x reader #Gromsko x male reader #könig x male reader #simon ghost riley x male reader #ghost x male reader #price x male reader #captain john price x male reader #gary roach sanderson #roach x male reader #cod nikto x male reader #Nikto #nikto x reader #Headcanons #mortal kombat

[spacebarbarianweird]

Oooh! Chronic depression Tav sounds right up your alley! I'm also chronically depressed and I have a similar living condition (messy room, not the horrific torture) to Astarion. Maybe a Tav who can empathize with his messy tent and his depression?

Oh yes, this hits my alley! I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder and depression a while ago plus it seems like I had a severe depression when I was 12-19 years old (but I wasn't taken to any specialists back then).

TW: Anxiety and depression come in different forms, my therapists always told me that I have a weird skill to look absolutely normal meanwhile tests show signs of severe depression. I've based this headcanon on my own experience.

TW 2: A suicide attempt, depression.

Astarion x Depressed!Tav

Masterlist

Headcanons

You feel off.

Something was utterly wrong with you for the last few years.

You barely eat, sleep too much

Decision-making is difficult as fuck, and you just do what you are told to.

The time is slipping through your fingers and you sometimes realize it's already winter when it was summer a day ago.

You feel like drowning in the dark void.

Maybe you should just end everything? Because life will never get better.

The tadpole suppresses your condition.

You suddenly feel good. You feel strong. You feel alive.

And the Emperor is particularly adamant that you embrace the tadpole potential.ccepting the tadpole potential.

"Remember how bad you felt before? It will get worse if you deny the tadpole. Once it's gone, your mind will drown in darkness again. But accept my offer, and you will never suffer again."

You recognize familiar patterns in Astarion's behavior.

His inability to make decisions.

The mess he made of his tent.

The way he sometimes sits and stares in the distance not moving at all.

That he doesn't really read, staring at the papers with mindless eyes.

Or quickly turning pages without understanding what is written there.

Or an extreme degree of anhedonia. He cannot taste wine or food, his senses are dulled, and nothing brings him joy except blood and sex (both of which have been unavailable to him for centuries).

You want to accept the tadpole. You don't want to go back to where you were. He doesn't want to either.

But when you take the astral tadpole, Astarion knocks it out of your hands and smashes it.

"You're in no condition to make decisions like that, dear," he says, grabbing your arm.

Neither is he.

You fear to have the tadpole removed.

When it is gone, it's worse than you expected.

You can't move. Can't think. The void is killing you.

You don't want to talk to anyone. You can't do anything. The only thing you are capable of is to crawl into the inn and lie there like in a coffin.

It will never get better.

Maybe, you should just off yourself?

And Astarion's absence only proves your thoughts. He isn't there, he's left. He doesn't need a burden like you.

The relapse is so bad you decide to find a way to end things.

You choose a lonely place and takes a dagger out.

You greet death like an old friend.

Only to wake up under a starry night sky.

With a familiar skeleton-like figure close to you.

Withers brought you back. But why? And how did he…

Before you manage to say anything coherent, you feel strong hands around your waist and a familiar scent.

Astarion cries holding you.

"I shouldn't have left you, I shouldn't have... I am so sorry..."

He was ashamed of himself. Of his own relapse.

But he could never thought you would kill yourself.

These six monthes were difficult for him.

Yes, he was free. He could do whatever he wanted.

But he was lonely. He had nightmares. Breakdowns.

He started looking for you only to realize you were dead.

Finding Withers was his only hope.

And you are back. Back to him.

Astarion takes you away from Baldur's Gate to the places you've never been before.

Basically making you run faster than your darkness.

Together you learn how to enjoy things.

You basically ask each other "What can we do rn to make ourselves feel better?"

A swim in the lake? A bath in the inn? A new piece of garment? Just staying together in the tent?

You hold each other from slipping into the void.

Eventually, you are advised to start taking some medicine made by clerics.

You take it once a day and you feel better, almost the same way you felt with the tadpole.

You take the double shot because Astairon drinks your blood to get this medicine for himself.

You both don't feel yourself that miserable anymore. You both cry less.

You sleep better, Astarion doesn't have nightmares.

You are good. Both of you.

It doesn't mean the darkness won't come back - but you are both ready to meet it.

--

Tag list

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#astarion #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 astarion #astarion romance #bg3 #astarion bg3 #astarion headcanon #baldurs gate 3 #astarion headcanons #astarion x tav #tav x astarion #spacebarbarian headcanon #astarion x reader #baldurs gate astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion baldurs gate #astarion brainrot #astarion fanfiction #astarion imagine #astarion hurt #disabled tav #tw depression #baldurs gate 3 astarion #astarion my beloved

[fraugwinska]

Hello Dear!

I hope your requests are open, if not then totally ignore this.

Can I get a reader x alastor where reader is doing something Charlie asked her to do like writing some scripst or some stuff and sing along with a song from a Radio ( you put a spell on me, from Austin Giorgio )

Just for alastor to come in teasing her to dance with him while he's doing just the things the song says?

>~< >~<

Djj3jdu3bkdkeik don't forget to eat and drink water!

Hello gorgeous! First of all: Thanks for a new addition to my 'Alastor'-Playlist ;> Second of all: YO, I live for promts like that - seeing that my main fic has a lot of scenes involving songs ;>

I experimented a little, leaving the end open for maybe a follow up, if wanted :P Enjoy, dear Frauchen @penelope-potter

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

You put a spell on me

Your mouth felt dry. How many envelopes had you closed now? One hundred? Two? You had stopped counting.

You cursed your bad luck at drawing sticks - it was the reason you had to sit back alone, working on getting recruiting letters for the hotel into cheap envelopes while the others were on a day out at LooLooLand.

Not that you were particularly interested in going to this amusement park (roller-coasters gave you vertigo and clowns the creeps), but it felt lonely being the one left behind.

Finding the silence in the foyer where you put up your work station too depressing you had quickly turned on the clunky cathedral radio that sat in the corner. Dialing back and forth, you finally found a nice station, a good mix of old and modern songs alike, and it made the repetitive task easier. You hummed along with those you knew, and tapped your foot to those you didn't.

Grabbing another envelope, a song you knew well came on, a favorite of yours that had dominated your playlists when you were alive. The piano and smooth voice of the singer echoed in the empty hall, creating an effect similar to a concert hall. You smiled to yourself, now glad that you were alone, and sang along.

You put a spell on me

I'm losing my mind

You better stop these things

It's a matter of time

You folded the letter in front of you, you body softly swaying by the sound of the music. How long has it been since you listened to it? Must've been months, you've almost forgotten how sensual the lyrics were. Your fingers slid over the fold of the paper you made, slower and more overly dramatic than before. Your smile widened at your silly reaction – you always had a thing for theatrics.

Before I hunt you down

Grab your chin and kiss your lips

You bring me back

I lay you down and grab your hips

And we lose all control

And before you know it

Deciding your work could wait for just one song, you put down the things you had in your hand, pushing yourself off the sofa. When would you get another opportunity like this? Forgotten was the frustration to be left on their own – this was an unexpected opportunity. Freedom.

You rounded the loaded coffee table full of papers and just danced, just for yourself, like you had so many times in that dingy, little living room in your old apartment, with no one to judge you.

Closing your eyes, you turned on the balls of your feet, hands moving over your body wherever you felt like they should, feeling almost alive again. You turned and twisted in what could be a waltz, could be anything, really, hips loose and movements fluid, you felt like a red satin scarf caught in the wind at night.

I put a spell on you

Now you're mine

I've got a hold on you

At least for the night

Another step forward, turning around yourself, something made you shiver. You didn't realize how much you missed this, missed losing yourself in your favorite piece of music... that was the reason your hairs stood up at their roots, wasn't it?

You opened your eyes to catch the flickering lights of the hotel decrease in intensity, going from shining in a bright orange into burnt amber.

That's odd. You thought just as you had the feeling of fingers brushing your waist.

You know I can't help myself

When you ask tenderly

If I'd dim the lights

As your hand brushes me

And the floor swallows your clothes

And your silhouette puts on a show

You startled when you looked down, seeing not your own, but a familiar looking shadow swirling through your feet, it's eyes and mouth pulled into a menacing grin glowing in cyan. You stopped in your tracks, frozen in place. You knew that shadow. And where that shadow was, there also was...

“Oh, please, don't stop on my behalf, darling. It was just getting good.”

Alastor appeared from the shadows next to the radio, his grin full of mocking glee. You felt your cheeks burn with embarrassment. Oh please Satan no. Why was he back? He went out with the others, you had seen him leaving with the rest of the gang.

“I thought you went to LooLooLand....”, you said nervously into the now quiet foyer. Alastor had put his hand on the radio, silencing it when you had stopped moving.

“I decided that childish attractions and cheap shows weren't really my kind of entertainment when...”, he laughed, tilting his head. “... there's a much more invigorating spectacle awaits right at home.”

You wanted to sink into the ground. Alastor always liked to tease you, saying he liked how you get flustered oh-so-easily, and he wasn't wrong. Part of why you didn't do things like these in the hotel was that you were incredibly shy, to the point of even being ashamed of the things you liked. A nice little memento from your past life – the weird one. The strange-hobbies one. The funny-looking one. The one-who-talks-too-much. And him being the teasing one didn't make it any better, given he was – yes you dared to think it – really handsome. The kind of handsome that could make you think about at night. In your bed.

“I was just... I thought I was alone.”

“That I could see.” Alastor chuckled, walking towards you with heavy-lidded eyes, hands folded behind his back. “Neglecting your drab duties to twirl around alone like a sad little figurine on a music box.”

“I-I... just took a break.”, you stuttered reluctantly, your fingers picking the skin of your arms.

“Mhm... only from what I'm curious. Who knew you like to use your free time to sing and dance?” He halted one step away from you, grin wide and toothy. “How come you didn't share these feeble talents with us, dear? Charlie would've been delighted.”

The spot of skin where you scratched yourself repeatedly started to turn red and sore. “I'm... not really comfortable... showing... I'm not good, anyways.”

“Ah, always so timid, so easy to pick on. You do make it too easy for me, darling, presenting yourself to be the perfect prey.”

He stepped forwards, pulling you in at your waist and taking your hand into a dance position. For a second, you forgot to breathe, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. The heat in your face was unbearable now, and you tried to writhe out of his grasp, but his grip was iron-clad. He smirked down to you, one brow up.

“How about we make it a tad less pathetic? Hm?”

The radio illuminated again, this time in a shade of moss green, not the usual warm yellow, and the song started again.

“Come on, little one, let's see if you're any braver with the addition of a partner.”

You put a spell on me

I'm losing my mind

You better stop these games

It's a matter of time

Alastor pulled you through the room, light footed and with a superior confidence. You were too stunned and much too intimidated to protest, just focused on preventing yourself to - god forbid - step on his toes and not to make more of a fool of yourself.

This really was hell – he'd think you were a complete idiot, talent- and useless. Dancing by yourself when no one's there to see your mistakes or silly choices was fun and all, but dancing with someone, less Alastor? You didn't want to think about how much of a loser you must look to him.

But he was only smiling, leading you with such force the steps came automatically. He was a skilled dancer, you knew that, and he proved it in this moment. With every passing note your feet became more steady, your back less tense until you flowed with him rather than struggled within him.

Alastor grinned, as if he just won a bet, and with his hand still on your waist, guiding you in another turn, he freed his other hand from yours and leaned in.

Before I hunt you down

Grab your chin and kiss your lips

Then you bring me back

I lay you down and grab your hips

And we lose all control

And before you know it

It all happened so fast, too fast to really process. His fingers pulled your chin up to him, and before you knew it, his lips caught your own in a sudden, electrifying kiss. Sharp teeth cut the tender, mavue skin, spilling a droplet of blood which he stole from the source, leaving you with an iron taste on your tongue and a frazzled mind.

Just a gasp later, he pulled you into a dip, his hands on your waist and hip hovering you just above the ground. You felt dizzy, your exposed neck right in front of his hungry mouth, so close you felt his breath, hot and wet. You trembled in his arms as he slowly pulled you up again, his eyes glued onto yours, mesmerizing and burning with the command – Don't you dare look away now.

You give me fever

And drive me insane

You keep me going in circles

With potions and bottles

And I can't escape

There wasn't any fancy movements now, just the sway of both of your bodies, closer than before, like waves crushing from the ocean to the shore. You didn't know what he saw in your face, but if it was a reflection of what you felt, it could only be a sick mixture of confusion, longing and desire.

Which was exactly what was written in his. Behind the smile that never seemed to leave him, there was no more of that mischievous, mocking attitude. More serious than you've ever seen him before, he was looking Hungry. Eager. Captivated.

I can't escape

Oh, I'm lost in your ways

Oh, I can't escape

Baby

Alastor pulled you again into the dance, moving through the room with you, the whole world around you turning instead of the other way around. But this time, the distance between you left no room for even a sheet of paper – you were pressed into him, he was holding you so damn close to him. A perfect fit, two pieces of one mold.

In a single motion, he put both of your hands on the back of his neck, while his flew to your back, sliding to your hips in sensuous trails. You felt his clawed fingertips through your clothes, sending delicious little tremors through your nerves up your spine.

Your head had stopped thinking straight - or at all - completely flooded with the feeling of his warm body on yours, his hands where you'd never thought they'd be, and that god forsaken look on his face. Even sex couldn't feel this intimate.

I put a spell on you

And now your mine

I've got a hold on you

At least for the night

At least for the night

The song ended, abruptly, and when the last note hit, you came to a halt, still entwined in one another, still connected through your gaze. Neither of you said anything, you just stared into each others eyes. Unspoken words hung in the small space between your lips, words you felt were better not said. The gnawing insecurity of yours crept back into your mind, threatening to break the spell you both were under by making you say something stupid. Alastor slowly let go of you, the last thing leaving you were his hands from your hips as he stepped away from you.

“How about that?”, he said quietly, more to himself than to you. Then, without another sound, he just melted into his shadows, vanishing from the foyer and leaving you with flushed cheeks and a torn heart - alone again.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #alastor #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel fanfiction #fraugwinskawrites #quick fic #for the frauchen #frauandfrauchen #to be continued (maybe)

[221bluescarf]

My Psychosis Survival Guide

Things from my coping box that might benefit you too. Like any other skill, many of these things can be used to help any other mental health problem. This is just my own list of things I use in addition to seeing my pdoc and taking my meds:

Art

Grounding is my first and most effective coping skill. Among the skills in the grounding category, coloring and doodling are my favorites (bonus if you can color-in doodles you've made yourself) but any art will do, like painting or making collages.

This can distract you from hallucinations and keep your mind occupied to stop dwelling on paranoid or delusional thoughts. Art therapy is known to reduce anxiety and depression too, which is common with psychotic disorders.

Instrumental music

LoFi is my favorite. Something calming can reduce anxiety and help you rest or sleep, which is good for a brain bombarded with the psychotic experience. Lyrics can sometimes trigger unwanted thoughts and some people even find that the lyrics change and suddenly have special meaning, so this is avoided with instrumental music.

Some LoFi music has other sound effects which can help auditory hallucinations to blend in and be less intrusive. Cafe vlogs are excellent for this, as they have a background of people talking and kitchen appliances being used which disguise mild and pesky hallucinations.

Putty

It can be Silly Putty, Thinking Putty, or whatever you can find. Some of them change colors, some of them are even scented. This is excellent grounding. It involves your senses and you can completely turn off your brain and just play with it in your hands. It's also great as a fidget tool.

Letters to yourself

Writing letters to yourself while you're in a good and healthy mindset can be valuable to look back on while in a psychotic episode. Give yourself a pep talk. Remind yourself that this is real life, remind yourself of why these thoughts are irrational and why you really can trust your friends and family, etc.

I find it useful to write about past delusions, so that when similar ones happen, I have "proof" that this is unreasonable and I'm less likely to fall for it (nothing is perfect. sometimes I'll still believe the delusion despite everything, but it helps)

A list of people who can help

Keep a list of friends or family who are aware of your diagnosis and who are ready to help you if you're struggling. Keep the numbers to these people in case you chuck your phone. Also include the numbers to your doctor, therapist, social worker, or anyone else you may need to reach when you're unable to use your own phone. (It's also good to have these listed in case you get hospitalized and are unable to have your phone)

Also if you're dealing with paranoia around your phone, some people find it comforting to use WhatsApp because it's encrypted unlike text messages.

I hope these are helpful

#psychosis survival guide #schizospec #schizophrenia #schizoaffective #psychosis #mental illness #coping skills #mental health blog #221bluescarf.txt

[7ndipity]

Them With An Autistic S/o

Ot7 x Reader

Summary: How the members would handle/react to their S/o being on the spectrum.

Warnings: Mentions of sensory issues, feeling over/under stimulated, depression, meltdowns, stimming.

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this! This is a list I’ve actually wanted to write for a while, but I’d been slightly nervous/unsure about it. But as someone who’s also on the spectrum, I know how much comfort similar posts from other blogs have brought me! I also tried to keep this one a bit lighter, since someone asked for a separate list about meltdowns/shutdowns, but if there’s any specific reactions/hcs like this that you guys want, let me know! (Please note that these are based off my own knowledge/experience, so I’m sorry if they don’t fit for everyone)

Masterlist

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Jin:

I feel like he’d be slightly confused and worried at first because he’s not sure what to do/how to help you, but once you explain a bit more, he gets a lot more comfortable, and really is such a good caregiver when he needs to be.

Catches onto your different stims pretty quickly and what each one means.

Like, y’all have whole conversations solely through funny little hums and stim noises.

Really good at reading and matching your mood/energy. You wanna talk about the Mayans nonstop for two hours? Cool! You want to just sit silently and do nothing? Also cool!

He’s really good at normalizing your symptoms and making them seem like nbd(because to him, they aren’t) Food sensitivities? He’s got them too! You hate loud noises and crowds? Same Honey, let’s get the fuck outta here! He knows they’re not quite the same thing, of course, but if it makes you feel more comfortable and safe being your true, unmasked self with him, then that’s all that matters to him.

Really good at calming you down when you feel overwhelmed or on the verge of meltdown.

Does his absolute best to bring your mood up whenever you’re struggling or feeling really down, pulling out his best dad jokes(even if they don’t make sense to you), bringing your favorite snacks, etc.

Yoongi:

I think he would handle it really well. Does his research after you tell him, and asks you about it casually during dates/hangouts.

So fucking respectful of your boundries. If you prefer to have your own space, he’s totally fine letting you do your own thing. If you need more closeness and cuddles, he’s all over that too, letting you sit right next to him while he works.

Not only lets you rant about your special interests, but makes the effort to take interest in them and asks questions. Randomly buys you little things related to them.

He’s so calming and soothing when you’re feeling stressed or overstimulated, understanding whenever you randomly need rest or quiet time(stress nap buddies)

Keeps things like extra sunglasses and headphones in his bag for you, just in case you forget yours.

Would have a lot of fun if you have audio stims, letting you listen to his new songs because your reactions and enthusiasm are so cute to him. Makes you panning audios as gifts.

Always there to look out for you whenever executive dysfunction decides to kick your ass. Washes the dishes, doing the laundry, restocking your safe foods, etc. He would also be really good at body doubling.

Hobi:

I honestly think he would be really good with an S/O on the spectrum. Like, he literally designed Mang, who is soo ND coded like omg😭, so I think he would be able to understand you really well.

(if you haven’t seen the videos of him talking about Mang’s personality and character traits during the re-design process last year, pls go watch them, I almost cried)

Loves buying you new fidgets and stim toys whenever he finds new ones to try(he even has a collection of chewlery that he wears bc he thinks they’re neat).

Is really good reading you and distracting you when you start to get overstimulated or anxious, sometimes noticing before you do.

Lowkey protective over you in spaces and situations he knows are stressful for you, positioning himself next to you whenever he spots things he knows bother you.

You know how Yoongi described him as a vitamin? That’s how it is for you now too.💛

He’s so stimmy himself, so he would find a lot of your stims really relatable and endearing. Like, if you start happy stimming, he can’t help but join right in, bouncing or squealing with you. It makes him so happy that you feel comfortable enough with him to share those parts of yourself with him.

Namjoon:

Instantly super supportive when you told him, making an effort to research on his own, as well as listening to your personal experiences to understand as much as possible.

Happily sits and lets you info-dump about your special interests. He honestly loves seeing you so passionate and animated about whatever you’re talking about and loves getting a glimpse into how your mind works(it was probably during one of these moments that he realized he was in love with you)

Surprisingly good pebbler, he’s always finding cool rocks or shells for your collections.

Doesn’t mind speaking for you on days when you’re nonverbal.

The sweetest when you’re feeling overstimulated. He closes all the curtains to make it dark and cozy and sits with you, talking as softly as needed or not talking at all, tapping your hand gently now and then to let you know he’s still there.

Soo protective over you, almost to a fault at times. Like, you might have to scold him once or twice about babying you, but he really doesn’t mean to, he just wants to make sure you’re safe and happy.

The world feels a lot less scary tho with him next you. You know if you need anything, he’s got your back.

Jimin:

The softest boi🥺 He was honestly a little scared when you first told him, because he didn’t want to do anything wrong and was worried he wouldn’t be ‘good’ at looking after you, but he quickly relaxed and grew more confident as he learned more from you.

The best comforter when you’re feeling overwhelmed or depressed, full of quiet reassurances and long hugs(if you’re okay with those). He’ll gladly cuddle with you under your weighted blanket for however long you need to feel better.

Literally set up a little “nest” for you at his place with a like beanbag chair and your favorite types of blankets/pillows, so you have your own place to just ‘be’ and recoup when you need it.

Carries fidget toys and sensory aids like sunglasses and headphones with him at all times, just in case you need them.

Really good at communicating with you on days when you’re nonverbal, whether through texts or little notes(which he always adds little doodles on to make your smile😊)

Makes sure you never feel guilty or like a burden to him for letting him in on those tougher days. If anything, they make him love you even more because of the trust you have in him.

It really makes him feel so proud and happy inside that you find so much comfort in his presence and that he gets to take care of you.💜

Taehyung:

Another that I think would be particularly good with a neurodivergent S/O. Like, everyone jokes about how he’s weird, so I think he’d love that you’re both your kind of own unique kinds of ‘weird’.

Happily rewatches your favorite comfort shows/films with you, and speaks in fluent film quotes with you.

Loves when you fidget and stim with his hands or fingers.

If you like pressure stims, he’s a dream come true. Like, the man’s a living weighted blanket, so when you basically give him a doctor's note for cuddles? He’s never gonna let you go.

As relaxed as he might come across sometimes tho, he’s super observant of your stims and triggers and takes it so seriously whenever you start feeling overwhelmed or stressed.

It doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing, if you need a break, he’s getting you to a quiet place where you can sit and just recalibrate.

Rivals Jin and Yoongi for top spot in the acts of service department on your bad days, making sure you eat properly, doing any household chores that need done. He even learned how to wash your weighted blanket so you don’t have to.

Jungkook:

Was definitely a little lost and overwhelmed when you first explained everything to him, but he really takes it in stride and tries to learn as much as possible to help make things easier for you where he can.

The King of comfort squeezes. Like you’ve seen his arms, he gives the best hugs, I just know it(especially on those “the weighted blanket isn't enough, I need a hydraulic press” days)

Loves learning about your special interests. Like, It’s no longer just your special interest, it’s our special interest. He’s even studying and finding things for it on his own to surprise you with.

Honestly plays with some of your fidget toys more than you do, lol! You might even end up giving him a few of his favorites😊

Gets super happy and smiley whenever you get echolalia of his songs.

Another member of the protective squad, ain’t no bad stimuli getting to his baby if he can help it!

The gentlest with you when you're overstimulated or having a tough day. Anything you need, he’ll do without question. All he cares about is making sure that you feel safe and comfortable🥺

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @a-gayish-unicorn @dfqcsqueen @mother2monsters @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

#bts headcanons #bts reaction #bts reactions #bts requests #bts scenarios #bts x y/n #bts x reader #seokjin headcanons #seokjin x reader #yoongi headcanons #yoongi x reader #hoseok headcanons #hoseok x reader #namjoon headcanons #namjoon x reader #jimin headcanons #jimin x reader #taehyung headcanons #taehyung x reader #jungkook headcanons #jungkook x reader #7ndipity #bts fluff

[n3ptoonz]

Hello! I saw your most recent headcanon list thing with the Earthrealm guys being caught Slonking it Silly Style™ and uh. I was just wondering if you'd be willing to do something similar with the Outworld guys as well? Obviously you don't have to if you don't want to, but I think it would be neat! Thank you so much in advance! I love your work :)

deep, dramatic sigh. (kidding anon tysm i gush over comments like this ily smoochhhh) also the terminology made me laugh out loud ty for that

Shang Tsung

kinda sorta didn't gaf. who's to say he didn't want you to hear him. the world may never know

you were to report to him about some findings for his experiments and there he was, leaning over the table and straight up cranking it over a bucket (he's odd like that) honestly when you acknowledge your own presence he's like... can i help you?? you see i'm busy???

but at the same time he's like hold up i have a fine specimen here to help me out here...he's leaving here with SOMETHING (studio laughter)

Rain

i don't think he'd care either if you walked in on him. in fact, he might welcome it. he's used to having his own space, but he doesn't mind sharing it with people he's ok with being around. yes that includes you (is it only you? not even he knows yet)

day 8163 of using Rain's arrogance to push my narrative that he's not only in love with himself but how he looks in the mirror. you definitely walked in on him wanking it in the mirror and he'd freeze but recover so quick

ain't no way you're leaving here after you just caught him though. how else will his problems get solved? you went and made him hard all over again!

Reptile

syzoth has two, let's get that out the way. AND he uses both hands for them LMAOO

president of syzoth is a lil subby bitch society. so when you catch him tugging on both and reduced to a pathetic mess from his own hands??? he's frozen and quite literally has no clue what to do. he's sweaty, there's tears in his eyes, and his fangs are much more pronounced than usual

once you give him the green light that you're into whatever tf he was just doing watch him crawl over to you on all fours and hug your legs, practically begging you to touch him

Havik

expect this smug fuck to claim he wanted this to happen. dude was hunched over and going at it behind his own desk, grunting like a cave man who discovered self pleasure for the first time

1000% expect him to demand you help him, but instead it's after he froze for like 5 seconds and then tried to play it off

he would also be internally shocked when agree to finish the job, but on the outside it's like "that's what i thought...now get over here" whole time he's jumping up and down and twirling in his brain

Reiko

it's already rare that he has time to himself and definitely RARELY has time to be with you for an extended period of time, so you catching him when you wanted to surprise him with your presence it triggered his fight or fight LMAO

legit laughed at the thought of him jumping up from his chair hands ready to be thrown...but his dick is swinging PLSSSSSS

he's like well shit now he deserves your help after you almost got two pieced by your own boyfriend...but who's complaining?!

General Shao

this man weirdly reminds me of bowser sometimes. with that being said i think he'd do a BUAHA as a shocked sound when you catch him thwoping the schlong

as much as i can't fucking stand him he does look a lil better in this game i will admit. i'm not gonna sit up here and lie, he def has a HUGE wanker innit. so you didn't miss shit when you walked into his chambers

he would also demand your help. but if you have a lil push back just for fun, he'd eventually say please and be all soft and shit. why? cause it's you god damn it!

Baraka

let's be fr. truly i do not think mk1 baraka would masterbate simply bc he's like depressed all the time😭but for the sake of shits and gigs, ill humor y'all

let's say he hasn't seen you in a while and misses you dearly. he knew you were on a quest for a while, and he was very pent up... so what better way to release stress other than sparring! oh. not enough? time for another type spar 😈

if this were old baraka i'd say he has two 👁️ but since this version of tarkat is a disease let's say it made the skin around his wee like ribbed or something ya SO when you caught him he was in a straight up panic and apologizing profusely but once you calm him down and tell him you're glad he missed you so much, he's like oh shit...well help me out then...only if you want to!

a/n: i did it y'all FUCK. my bad for taking so long to release this i'm a perfectionist to a fault💀

#n3ptoonz #mk1 #mortal kombat #mortal kombat 1 #shang tsung #shang tsung x reader #reptile x reader #reptile mk #syzoth x reader #syzoth #rain mk1 #rain x reader #mk havik #mortal kombat havik #havik #havik x reader #general shao #shao khan #shao kahn x reader #mk reiko #reiko #reiko x reader #mk baraka #baraka x reader #baraka

[salti-thelatediagnosedautist]

The beginner autistic guide to common terms in our community (with extra context!).

*Disclaimer, I’m not a professional. This is just knowledge from my experience as an autistic person. Please feel free to correct anything :)

These definitions will include some of my own opinions and thoughts, especially on the more controversial terms. This is simply to help better prepare new autistic community members for conversations they become engaged in. Having all the perspective and context you can have can be very helpful when moving into new social spaces.

Autism (Or Autistic Spectrum Disorder, ASD): A neurodevelopmental disorder that is present from very early childhood. It’s mostly recognised through difficulties with social interaction and restricted and/or repetitive behaviours. The way it is referred to as “Autism Spectrum Disorder” is specifically referring to the fact that autism presents in countless ways. There are common traits and patterns, but the severity and complexity of those traits and symptoms is infinite.

NOTE: This does not mean that ‘everyone is a little bit autistic’. You are either autistic or you are not. It just means that if you have autism, it may present very differently to other autistic people you know.

Asperger’s Syndrome: Asperger’s syndrome is usually considered an older term for a ‘subtype’ of autism. The term is considered outdated by the DSM-5 and no longer used in that document. However it is still used in a lot of other countries. Now it is becoming more socially known that ‘Asperger’s syndrome’ is just a specific presentation of autism. Many autistics don’t like the use of the word ‘Asperger’s’ because of a couple reasons:

The term has a long history with NAZI’s and eugenics.

The term seems to basically mean ‘high functioning’ autistic, which simplifies the condition.

Asperger’s Syndrome is defined in a very similar way to autism, however people with “Asperger’s’ may be described as ‘gifted’ or ‘intellectual’.

It’s important to note that many people still identify themselves with the term ‘Asperger’s’. While it is good to be educated and up to date with terminology, some people have identified with this term their whole life and it’s not wrong to use the term for one-self. But either way, I do encourage you to do more research if you are comfortable.

Neurotype: Can be basically defined as the type of brain function one has. Some people consider autism a neurotype, and then neurotypical as another neurotype. However, many people claim that autism is ‘just another neurotype’. This is a harmful way of thinking about autism because autism is a disability. Labelling it as a ‘neurotype’ belittles all the struggles autistic people have that make them disabled. Autism is a spectrum and so some autistic people may not really consider themselves disabled, but many do.

Neurotypical (NT): A non-autistic person with no other mental conditions.

Allistic: A non-autistic person who can still have other mental conditions, such as depression or ADHD.

Neurodivergent (ND): Traditionally ‘Neurodivergent’ has been used to mean either autistic or ADHD. However in some contexts it is used to mean someone with any mental condition, including personality disorders or mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety.

Neurodiversity: a term used to describe the fact that there are many neurotypes in the world. It is used to imply that differences in brain development and function should be accepted as relatively normal. I think this is a good sentiment, but that some neurotypes should still be considered disabilities as well as a neurotype, so as not to diminish the struggles specific neurotypes go through.

High functioning/Low functioning: The labels of functioning are terms used to describe how independent an autistic (or other kind of disabled) person is able to be. Many autistics do NOT like the use of these terms for a couple reasons:

It tends to focus on the way an autistics disability affects the allistic people around them.

It simplifies the experience of the individual with autism to how independent they are, and is also not very descriptive for anyone trying to help the said autistic person.

High needs/Low needs: These are labels used to describe how much assistance an autistic (or other kind of disabled) person may need. It is slightly preferred by autistic people as the language is more centred to what the autistic person needs, rather than how independent they can be.

NOTE, many autistic people would argue that these terms are basically the same as high functioning and low functioning. I personally consider it to be best to just state someones highest needs or difficulties. For example “Olivia is nonverbal and highly sensitive to light and noise.”.

Masking: Masking is the act of hiding ones autistic traits to appear to be neurotypical. Masking is often a survival strategy developed by autistics to evade bullying or isolation. Masking can include suppressing the urge to stim, forcing oneself to make eye contact, learning how to ‘properly’ execute facial expressions, studying body language, etc. Masking can be an extremely vital skill for autistic people, but when an autistic person has to mask for long periods of time it can lead to negative consequences such as burn out or meltdowns. Masking can also be used in the context of other disabilities, such as ADHD.

Scripting: Scripting is a form of masking, when an autistic person pre-plans or practices responses or entire conversations. You may have a script you unconsciously follow for questions like “how are you?” Or “how is work?”, etc. It may be inspired from TV shows, movies or observing other people interact.

Burn out: Burn out is when an autistic person reaches their limit and has decreased energy for an extended period of time. Burn out may last anywhere between a couple days or a few years. Burn out is often caused by excessive masking, but can also be caused by repeated rejection, bullying or other mental conditions. Burn out is not the same as depression, but it can co-exist with depression.

Meltdown: A meltdown is when an autistic person experiences what might look like a ‘tantrum’. The person may be very angry, yelling, punching or hitting things (or themselves). They may be aggressively stimming or humming to themselves. A meltdown, internally, feels as if you are completely filled with negative energy, as if you might burst. It can feel like extreme irritation, or anger, or shame. Meltdowns can be caused by any number of stressful situations. For an autistic person this can be having a lot of social events, their routine being disrupted, having to eat foods they don’t like, being overstimulated, or even just negative social interactions.

Shutdown: A shutdown is very similar to a meltdown, in how it can be caused. For me personally, I tend to have a shutdown if I am not in a safe place to have a meltdown. From the outside it looks very similar to dissociation, and it can co-exist with dissociation. It typically feels like you are shutting down, turning off. You emotions were about to burst and then you just went numb. You may be unable to move, or go non-verbal. You may be crying quietly or you may simply just very suddenly feel the need to go home.

NOTE: Meltdowns and shutdowns can appear to feel like a panic attack, but they are different. Panic attacks come from intense feelings of dread or doom. Meltdowns and shutdowns come from repeated, or intense, stressful situations for an autistic.

Hypersensitive: Hypersensitivity is when the brain processes sensory input (such as touch, taste and smell) as much more intense than a neurotypical person would. This can mean that a slight cold breeze may feel painfully cold. Or looking outside a window can hurt ones eyes because it feels too bright. Or having to wear specific textures to stay calm.

Hyposensitive: Hyposensitivity is the opposite of hypersensitivity. It is when your brain inteprets sensory input as much less intense than a neurotypical would. Ways this can present in an autistic person include not realising when they hurt themselves, having a high pain tolerance, being unaware of temperature changes, etc. You may also not recognise your bodies hunger cues, dehydration or need for sleep.

NOTE: An autistic person can experience both hypersensitivity and hyposensitivity. It can also fluctuate day-to-day.

Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD): SPD is basically the term for experiencing lots of variation in your sensory input. It is similar to Auditory processing disorder. Which is where your hearing is technically fine (you aren’t any form of deaf), but you have trouble distinguishing what specific sounds are, or listening to one, important sound, in an area with lots of different noises (for example, being unable to understand what someone is saying next to you, because the TV is on.)

Overstimulation: This is when an autistic person has been experiencing too many different sensations at once, or for an extended period of time. This may be caused by too many noises happening at once. Or even just one annoying sound repeating for a long time. It can also be triggered by touch, taste, sight and smell.

Executive function/dysfunction: Executive function is the term used to describe how the brain initiates tasks. For neurodivergent folk, our executive function is often dysfunctional. This means we can often find it difficult to start new tasks. A way you may experience it is when you are sitting down, you may be screaming internally that you need to go and get some food, but your body seems unwilling to co-operate. Having executive dysfunction does not mean you are lazy, or do not want to do the task, it means you may be unable  to do the task.

Autistic intertia: Autistic inertia is related to executive dysfunction, because it is a term that helps describe how autistic people struggle to switch or initiate tasks. “ An autistic at rest remains at rest, and an autistic in motion remains in motion”.

Special interest/Hyperfixation: A special interest is a extremely long term interest/obsession with a particular topic. An example might be being really into pokemon. Learning all the different types of pokemon, playing all the games and collecting heaps of merch. A hyperfixation is a more short-lived interest that can be destructive in it’s severity (for example, it might get so extreme that it’s the only thing you can think about, to the point where you neglect your needs). Special interests are less likely to be destructive. But hyperfixations can be healthy and normal too.

Stimming: Stimming or self stimulation is the act of doing repetitive movements to help self regulate. Stimming can look like spinning, chewing, flapping hands, dancing, foot tapping, pen clicking, touch soft fabrics, using weighted blankets, lighting candles, eating crunchy snacks, etc. All of these forms of movement or repetitive sensory input can help us regulate our emotions better, prevent a meltdown or shutdown, or focus on a task easier.

NOTE: Echolalia is another term you may hear. It is a form of stimming in which an autistic person repeats sounds/phrases over and over.

ADHD: Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder is a neurodevelopmental disorder like autism, but it affects the brain in different ways. It often presents as having difficulties with paying attention, regulating emotions and hyperactivity (or, alternatively, it can present as being inattentive).

Savant or Savant syndrome: A condition when someone with some type of significant mental disability is an expert/’savant’ in a particular field, to the point of surpassing neurotypical experts. An example might be having photographic memory, or being able to learn languages extremely easily, or being an extraordinary mathematician. Autistic people often don’t like to hear the term ‘savant’ as we are often only valued by ‘society’ if we are savants. And if we are not, then we are often treated as lesser. This is kind of a form of eugenics.

Eugenics: Eugenics is a philosophy or belief that we can selectively breed humans to ‘improve’ humanity. Or create the ‘perfect race’. This was an idealogy practiced by Adolf Hitler during WWII, which lead to the holocaust. Eugenics is often a subtly underlying philosophy behind many statements that, on face value, seem relatively harmless. For example - “autism is the next step in evolution” is currently a popular statement. However, this implies that every other neurotype is not an improvement, which therefore implies that being autistic is superior. This would be considered a form of eugenics. Eugenics is considered a horrible philosophy because it encourages people to look down on others and dehumanise anyone not like themselves.

Co-morbidity: A co-morbidity is the term used for a condition that is regularly seen in conjunction with another condition. For example, autism and ADHD are often seen together. However, it can also be used to simply describe someone who has more than one condition (physical or mental).

AuDHDer: Someone with autism and ADHD. Just a shortened way to refer to people with both disabilities.

Selective mutism/Situational mutism: When an autistic person (or other neurotype) experiences periods of being unable to speak or communicate. This can often occur in stressful situations, like before tests or during doctors appointments. It is officially referred to as ‘selective mutism’ but many are trying to change it to ‘situational mutism’ as the individual does not willingly choose when they go non-verbal.

Alexithymia: Alexithymia is typically described as the inability to define and/or describe ones emotions. So you may often feel a type of discomfort, but not be able to label what it is. Not being able to distinguish between anger and irritability. Or not knowing if you feel sad or confused. It can make seeking professional help for many conditions really difficult, as you are unable to put your experience into words. It can also be similar to hyposensitivity in the way that it makes it difficult to understand what you body is feeling.

Dyspraxia: Dyspraxia is a disorder that affects co-ordination, movement and balance. It can make things such as sports, driving, cooking and writing difficult. It is fairly common in autistic people.

Prosopagnosia: The inability to recognise/remember faces. It is more common in autistic people.

Synesthesia: Synesthesia is when one form of sensory input is sometimes also experienced as another. For example, someone with this condition may see colours when they hear someones name. They may hear a song and get a taste in their mouth. This is also more common in autistic people.

FINAL NOTE: Autism is a spectrum and you may not experience all of these different terms, or you may not experience them in the way I described them. That does not mean you aren’t autistic. This is not a diagnostic tool. This is simply a guide to learning the terms you may often hear when discussing autism.

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