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#and stay away from the LETTUCE bar
antiodote · 2 years
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she can't finish and they fight - part III
warnings: drug/alcohol abuse, mention of purging, slight mentions of sexual activity (but not really)
"fuck you, harry."
part I & II
+++
she had slept in her car that night.
more specifically, she had parked in her gym’s parking lot and fell asleep in her car. her idea? get to the gym at 6 in the morning, run for an hour straight at an ungodly speed that might make her sick, shower and scrub her body so thoroughly that it hurt, get ready in the bathroom of said gym and arrive at work bright and early as if nothing ever happened. she even thought about getting some iced coffee on the way. you know, as a treat.
she also felt numb. so, so numb.
after she had left home - no, harry’s place - she wondered if all of it was a nightmare. some sort of hallucination that manifested itself into her brain after 6 weeks of straight malnourishment and sleep deprivation. never in her wildest dreams had she imagined that he would ever speak to her in that way or do something like that to her; question her trust like that. she asked herself if she even knew who he was or if the last four years had been a lie, but somewhere between taking an impossibly hot shower and slapping tons of concealer under her eyes in an attempt to cover her dark circles, she had decided to not think about it for as long as she possibly could. she just wouldn’t think about it, wouldn’t talk to anyone about it and she definitely, definitely, definitely wasn’t going to face him anytime soon.
and so, she arrived at work at 8:54 am, ready to get some work done and pretend that everything was as it should be. fortunately for her, it seemed to work out - for most of the day, that is.
she had greeted some co-workers, wrote down a list of to-do’s for the day, checked off those to-do’s one by one, had some coffee, ate some lettuce wraps for lunch and threw up said lettuce wraps, returned to drinking coffee and nothing but. with a few meetings here and there, some office gossip and a pile of work later, her work day was finished. she found herself wishing that she could be stuck in that loop for the rest of her life - or at least for another few hours - so she could escape the reality of things for just a tiny bit longer. things don’t seem to go to plan for her lately.
“you’re leaving early? is it christmas already?”
she turned around to find tony, one of her coworkers, looking at her with an expression that indicated humour. she wasn’t really up for humour right now, but she also didn’t want to seem any more off than she probably already did. so, she forced a chuckle and answered.
“well, technically, I’m not leaving early. I just finished my work on time and don’t really feel like staying longer today, honestly.”
“so compared to your usual hours, you’re still leaving early.”
she looked at him with a frozen smile that didn’t reach her eyes. she hated when people - no, men - repeated her exact words back to her as if she were stupid. she hated it with a passion. harry never spoke to her like that. she should tell him all about it once she gets home, she thought. 
as she realised that she couldn’t do that, she quickly turned away from tony to resume packing her bag.
“I suppose you’re right, tony. what can I do for you?”
he hoped her tone indicated her lack of interest in their conversation. she truly desired nothing more than to get out of this office and figure out her plan for the next few days.
“some of us wanted to get some drinks at this bar down the street. you know, the one that does trivia on wednesday nights? would you like to join us? you can tell your boyfriend to come!”
every single part of those sentences made her feel woozy. the idea of having drinks with her coworkers was absolutely atrocious; she couldn’t physically think of something that she would’ve liked to do less at that moment. however, the mention of him made her suddenly want something to drown out her thoughts with. she usually never resorted to alcohol, but the burn of some heavy liquor in her throat would for sure help her out, at least for now. she needed to feel something. so, without giving it much more thought, she turned around, smiled, and almost robotically replied.
“sure, I’d love to come. thanks for the invite! I’ll ask if he can make it.”
+++
8pm arrived and y/n was piss drunk. 
when they arrived at the bar her coworkers ordered a round of different dishes for the table while she immediately went for the drinks. beer wasn’t her favourite, so vodka would suffice. one drink turned into two, two turned into four and before she realised, she found herself 7 drinks deep into her own abyssal torment. none of her coworkers seemed to notice, either because they lacked interest or she was too good at hiding her intoxication. she barely spoke at the table, anyway. 
“so, y/n! where is that lovely boyfriend of yours? we haven’t seen him since last year’s christmas party. he was fun!” one of her older coworkers, maude, chirped. 
y/n looked up from her drink, slightly disoriented at first. she kept forgetting that the outside world wasn’t aware of how her life crumbled into pieces at her feet. 
act normal. act normal. act normal.
“oh, he’s been pretty busy. you know, with his music and stuff. I’m sorry he couldn’t make it tonight.” she replied. funny how she didn’t even know where he was, right now. 
“oh, that’s a shame. make sure to bring him around again soon! he did a whole coffee run when he visited you last time. even paid for my extra pumps of hazelnut syrup, the ol’ charmer.” maude giggled. y/n forgot how older ladies seemed to adore him. then again, everyone did.
she also did.
in an attempt to seem flattered, she shook her head with a smile on her face. she couldn’t possibly have any of them suspect anything. the last thing she needed was to be the subject of infuriating office chitchat. luckily, she found it quite easy to keep up fake conversation and with that, fake emotion. she truly didn’t care for the people she worked with. a job was a job, nothing more. sure, she loved what she did, but it didn’t change the fact that her job wasn’t her life, or at least, shouldn’t be. she barely cared about her boss, but she did care about the money. a lot. 
for all she cared, she was going to keep up the lie for as long as she had to, and she was fine with that. but maybe, just maybe, it gave her an excuse to pretend that everything was still okay between her and harry. she might as well treat her workplace as an alternate reality; a parallel universe where she could still go home to her lover and had never been kicked out of her own home. a home she helped to build with all the love she possessed in her heart. 
oh, what a waste of love, she thought.
“y/n, are you still with us?” 
“huh? what?”
people laughed. her eyebrows furrowed. she glanced around. she was confused. she felt embarrassed.
“oh, darling, maybe cut back on those drinks you’ve been chugging! I mean, I know you’re a heavyweight and it’s the weekend, but you just totally spaced out on us!“ lena - a younger coworker of hers - said, giggling her way through her remark.
“oh god, sorry. it’s been a long week, you know how it is.” she tried to go along with the joke, while truthfully feeling mortified for letting her guard down. “what were you saying?”
she honestly couldn’t care less. 
“oh, we were just talking about potentially making this a regular thing! you know, to strengthen team morale and all.”
she smiled. there was no way in hell. 
“sure! sounds fun.”
they nodded in agreement, believing her made-up enthusiasm. maybe she should’ve gone to acting school with how believable her act was. or they might just not care about her, just like she doesn’t care about them. they definitely didn’t care enough to ask.
the question was: who did care about her?
her coworkers don’t seem to do so. she’d barely seen any of her friends for a long while now. she hadn’t spoken to her family in what felt like forever. 
she always thought that harry cared.
harry. oh, harry. 
harry. harry. harry.
she suddenly rose up from her seat, pulling everyone’s eyes in her direction.
“I’m gonna use the restroom.”
and gone she was. 
her heart was beating unbelievably fast. she wasn’t feeling good, at all. maybe the alcohol did take a toll on her.
without checking her surroundings, she almost bolted to the restroom. as soon as she entered, she picked one of the empty stalls and found purchase on the sticky floor, almost dramatically sliding down along the closed door. she needed to breathe. her head hung low between her bent knees, her hands clasping around her ears. with her eyes screwed shut and her hearing now impacted, she was now robbed of most of her senses, grounding her somewhat. ‘please, please, please’ was chanted in her head like a mantra; she couldn’t lose her composure like this, anything else was not as important at this moment. 
“everything okay in there? should I get someone?”
her head shot up. fuck.
her breathing must’ve been heavy or maybe the words she repeated weren’t as quiet as she thought. she wasn’t sure who was behind the door, but she wasn’t strong enough to face them.
“uh, I’m okay! thanks for asking.”
silence. 
“y/n? is that you?”
wait, what? she knew that voice.
she got up to open the door and was suddenly faced with a very familiar face.
“jane?”
+++
harry doesn’t remember the last time he felt so hollow. with every moment that passed, he felt more and more like he was drowning. like he was making a terrible, terrible mistake.
the last thing she had said to him before she went to pack a bag was ‘fuck you, harry.’ and truthfully, at first, he was angry. angry at how they argued, angry at her for leaving, angry at himself for not asking her to stay. it was a little later though, right after the door slammed shut behind her that he realised he couldn’t have asked her to stay when he was the one who told her to leave.
and then it dawned on him. he told her to leave. he kicked her out. in the middle of the night. in a city where he himself had been robbed at knifepoint not too long ago. 
the panic kicked in soon after.
so, he called. and called. and called.
but she never answered. 
after the 30th call, her phone went straight to voicemail. that was when harry really started freaking out. 
where did she go? was she safe? what if something happened? harry wouldn’t forgive himself if something were to have happened.
he bit and chewed on his fingers until they bled. he didn’t sleep. his mind and soul were surrounded by an image of her in danger. in pain. hurt.
though, he hurt her that night. 
he was the one who put her in that situation. he hurt her. why the fuck did he do that? why the actual fuck did he do that?
when the panic passed, the self-loathing soon followed. he didn’t understand how things were so quick to turn around when they were more than okay a mere few weeks ago. he treated her like she was disposable and he doesn’t think he will ever forgive himself for it. 
when the hatred for himself outweighed the worry he had for her, he resorted to pills to find slumber that night. the sleep was terrible, but it was better than nothing.
he woke up the next morning, finding himself on his kitchen floor. he must’ve passed out then and there. he checked the clock just above the fridge. the time was 9:15 AM. if she was okay, she must be at work. he could go there to check on her, see if her car was there. but, then again, he felt like he was the last person she wanted around her at this moment. if she was even alive, that is.
his rationality came back to him somewhere after 11 in the morning, just after his shower. she was a strong and capable woman, she was probably fine. she had to be, or he was never going to be fine again.
he went back to the kitchen to fetch himself some water for his run. if there was one thing that helped him, it was running for miles and miles and miles ahead and drowning out his surroundings with music through his headphones. as he opened the fridge he was faced with a bowl that was filled with cubes of fruit. the bowl was shaped like a lemon and had the colour to go with it. he remembers how y/n had picked it out online, gushing over how cute and fitting it is.
‘you always sing about fruit! might as well have a lemon-shaped bowl, if you ask me.’
he remembers how he had chuckled in response, pulled her in for a kiss on her temple, and replied ‘whatever you want, love.’
why do those days feel so far away now? 
he looked all around the kitchen and observed how every nook and cranny of this house had pieces of her littered all over it. the kitchen clock; a soft yellow one with slender, roman numbering on it - she chose it. the light pink cabinets - she painted them. actually, they painted them together and made sweet love on that very floor when they were finished. every piece of decoration - she had collected them whenever they had travelled. he particularly took notice of a framed picture right next to the sink. a moment captured when they made fresh pasta at his mother’s house when they were there for her birthday, two years ago. he remembered the moment so, so vividly.
‘harry, for goodness’ sake! you’re making a mess!’
she was the one who rolled out the dough by hand, since harry had previously dropped the pasta maker on the floor, resulting in its break. feeling a little useless, he wanted to do whatever he could to make her laugh. so, he did what any child would do: poured flour over them. first, her nose. then, her cheeks. shortly after, her head. and when she was sick of him, she grabbed the packet from his grasp and poured every last bit over him. her glimmering eyes looked straight at his playful ones. she bit her lips, in order to deny him the satisfaction of a laugh, and he looked just about ready to burst at the seams. 
in that moment, his sister quietly took a picture, making sure to get it back to them for one of their birthdays. when she was done, she clapped her hands to gain their attention, and suddenly they stood there like deers caught in headlights. 
then, laughter erupted. loud, hearty, full laughter. 
harry had to physically shake his head to lose the memory. when a sudden sickness overcame him, he found himself emptying the contents of his stomach right into said sink. was this kind of behaviour normal after a breakup? he didn’t know.
breakup. breakup. breakup.
the word swam around his vision, making him want to gauge his own eyes out. were they broken up, now? could she ever forgive him? then again, could he forgive her for lying to him? his mind was swarmed with all sorts of questions that he had no way of finding an answer to, at least not anytime soon. 
he needed to go on that run.
so, he did. and ever so conveniently, he ran by her workplace. low and behold, her car was there, unscathed. relief flooded him, but so did dread. because if she was at work, that meant she was fine. which also meant that she didn’t pick up his calls on purpose. she didn’t want to talk to him. 
good. maybe they shouldn’t talk for a while. whatever. 
he ran back home and didn’t leave the house for the remaining day.
+++
jane was y/n’s lifelong friend. they went to high school together and were usually inseparable. however, with both of their schedules being as crazy as they were, they rarely saw each other these days. when jane saw the state of her in that bathroom stall, she paid for her tab and drove her home. y/n didn’t say much in that time, still in a state of sensory overload. it was only when she saw how they were approaching harry’s driveway that she spoke. 
“we can’t go there.” 
jane whipped her head towards the passenger seat. “what do you mean, petal?” 
y/n stared straight ahead. “we can’t go to harry’s place. can I stay with you tonight? I’ll explain everything.”
jane looked at her for a few beats longer, worry etched deep into her features, until she turned her car around and drove to her own apartment. just over 30 minutes later, they arrived.
y/n soon realised how drunk she truly was, especially when the glare of the white lightbulbs in jane’s bathroom made her head throb and her guts churn. she ended up leaning above the toilet bowl in an attempt to empty the contents of her stomach, however, her attempt was in vain; nothing left her stomach. and yet, she felt so empty. 
she wished that she had shouted at harry, maybe even slap him across his annoyingly pretty face. she wished she had done something to stop him from doing what he did. but alas, just like nothing left her now, nothing left her then. she was always so perfectly contained. harry had even told her on multiple occasions that she needed to let loose, even if it was just a little bit. he was good at helping her with that. she always felt so unbothered and carefree in his presence. 
oh, harry. what have you done?
“god, harry. you fucking idiot.” 
the first sob of the night left her. then came the second. the third quickly followed. all of a sudden, she found herself crying in agony over her best friend’s toilet.
“y/n, you okay?? can I come in?” jane called from the other side of the door, but y/n didn’t hear. the echo of her cries within the toilet bowl was too loud for her to be aware of her surroundings. thus, a very worried-looking jane came bursting through the door. as she found y/n in literal shambles across the bathroom floor, she couldn’t help but choke up herself. she’d never seen her like this, and it truly broke her heart.
“hey, hey pretty girl, it’s alright. I’m here, good god, I’m here. let it all out.”
jane ended up cradling y/n, almost like you would calm a crying baby, and y/n didn’t realise how much she truly needed it. however, she still didn’t dare to speak. she feared that, once she recalled the events out loud, they would become reality. she wasn’t ready for that to happen, not yet. maybe not ever, but definitely not now. 
so she cried and cried and cried until there was nothing left to give. jane and her wordlessly went to bed that night, bundled up in blankets to keep out the cold. 
y/n feared she might never feel normal again, if she even knew what that was. she felt like harry completed her, and that scared her to death.
when she woke up the next day, she finally threw up. with the vodka finally out of her system and her stomach basically cleansed, she felt a lot better than she thought she would. the headache was manageable and the nausea came and went. she could survive this.
she didn’t know about the rest of her circumstances, though. 
whenever the thought of him popped into her head, she did whatever she could to distract herself. first thing in the morning? she showered after her journey to the toilet bowl. after the shower? extensive skincare. when she saw her tired expression in the mirror? left the bathroom to borrow some of jane’s clothes. eventually, she had run out of distractions in the bedroom, so she escaped to the kitchen. when she started preparing breakfast and turned up the radio just a touch, she was reminded of him, again. soon enough, she realised that everything reminded her of him, and there was nothing she could do about it. would be too easy, right?
for the first time in a while, she felt vulnerable. raw. like there was no skin over her pain and a gust of wind could make it bleed.
the realisation knocked the air out of her for just a moment, but it was enough for her to turn the stove off and sit down. she felt as if she had just run up the stairs, in fear that somebody was chasing her. she felt out of breath, disoriented and weirded out. maybe she should go to that doctor to talk about her anxiety, harry had always-
“hey, you! making some breakfast? how kind.” jane chimed, bright and chipper, ripping y/n out of her thoughts. she caught her gaze, offering a smile. “oh, I was just up early today. the eggs are probably burnt, though. just a heads up.”
jane nodded and went straight to her bag of toaster waffles and popped one of them into her mouth. a quick turn later, she faced y/n with an apologetic expression. as much as she wanted to grant y/n her bit of privacy, she needed to know what happened. before jane could open her mouth, y/n spoke. she spoke and spoke and spoke, retelling the whole thing, from the moment she felt overwhelmed at work, right up to the point where harry kicked her out. this was the second day she wasn’t at his place, refusing to refer to it as ‘home’, and everything still felt awfully unreal. jane listened and listened until she snapped. 
“hold on, what? you slept in your damn car? why didn’t you call me? y/n, that was so unsafe, dear god!” 
she was pacing up and down her lengthy kitchen, trying to wrap her head around how her best friend’s picture-perfect relationship went to shit without anybody else noticing. 
“I know, jane, I know, but I wasn’t really thinking and I didn’t want to bother anyone. the two of us have barely spoken lately, and-“
“as if that matters! y/n, you’re my best friend, okay? my ride or die. it doesn’t matter if I see you once a week or once a year, I am the person you tell these things to, okay? I’m the person you ask for help!”
y/n didn’t answer, shame clouding her senses. instead, her gaze turned downwards and she started picking her nails.
“you’re staying with me until we figure this out, okay? I don’t want to hear shit.” 
when y/n didn’t answer, jane physically forced her to look at her by nudging her hand under her chin and gently dragging it upwards. “got it, petal?” 
y/n nodded.
“wonderful! oh, and if I see harry, just know I’m gonna beat the shit out of him. lord knows he deserved it-“
“you will not, okay?”
jane looked at y/n as if she had grown a third head. confusedly, she goes: “wait, are you planning to forgive him, or something?”
y/n became frustrated. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do yet, okay? I just don’t know. I can’t face him for a bit, but I can’t tell you what’ll happen afterwards. please don’t hurt him, I know that you actually would.”
jane listened, processed, and nodded. she didn’t want to cause her any more emotional turmoil. 
“okay, dude. whatever you say. now, let’s plan this sleepover of ours!”
+++
it’d been seven days since harry had last seen her. with every day that had passed, his emotions spiralled.
his first phase: hatred. 
he hated her. he hated her boss, her work, her mindset. he hated all of the things he could blame for their fallout, thus also hating himself. he hated himself so much that he couldn’t bare to look at himself. when he wasn’t excessively punching things in his at-home gym, he got high and broke stuff. he called her and spoke spiteful things onto her voicemail. he cried angry tears and listened to angry, devastating music. 
the music triggered the second phase: sorrow.
he cried and cried and cried, especially to sad coldplay songs or the old records that his stepfather used to collect. the crying made him tired, so he slept a lot during this phase. though, as soon as he woke up, he’d be crying again. 
when the crying stopped, the depression came.
heaviness shaped his form. his feet felt too heavy to lift,  thus his bed became his permanent residence for a bit. his mind was hazy and everything he attempted to do sucked every last bit of energy out of him, resulting in a permanent state of exhaustion. 
his empty bed triggered his longest phase: loneliness.
he missed her. so fucking much.
he missed her smell. her peaceful, sleeping state. he missed how she would always have to collect individual hairs off of their covers because her hair just shed in heaps during her slumber. he missed how she’d look up at him when the first few moments of consciousness kissed her in the morning. he missed how he could lay his head on her soft chest and listen to her steady heartbeat. he missed how she would sometimes lovingly grab him by the jaw and pull him down to kiss his forehead. he missed how she used to make him coffee in the morning and he’d eat her out on the kitchen table to say thank you. he missed her body, every mark and every freckle. he missed her voice and wished he’d recorded it at some point. he missed the way she’d hug him from every angle. he missed how she could talk to him for hours about anything. he missed making love to her.
he missed being able to love her. 
he feared that she was gone now. far, far away from his reach. he had to make peace with it, though. right?
thus he welcomed his current phase: apathy. 
he didn’t care anymore; he wasn’t going to get her back. he’d fucked up too bad, so he resorted to resenting her for her mistakes. the negative emotions that were previously directed towards him only were now evenly distributed amongst her, him, their situation and the world. he didn’t want to talk to anyone, reach out to anyone, or even acknowledge his feelings in any way. as he cleaned up his house from the shards and pieces of the the things he had destroyed, he found a weird sense of serenity in the acceptance of his downfall. all was lost now, what else could go wrong? 
then, his phone rang.
he checked. it was sarah. 
he wasn’t going to pick up, but she’d called him a few times now. he didn’t want to worry her, so he finally picked up.
“hello?”
a sigh of relief left her.
“goodness, harry, where were you? I’ve been trying to reach you for ages! look, some things need to be picked up for the rehearsal dinner on tuesday. could you maybe handle it? I wouldn’t ask you but mitch and I have been super busy with everything else. pleeaasee?”
harry’s brows furrowed. rehearsal dinner?
then, he remembered. the fucking wedding.
mitch and sarah had been officially married for over a year, yet they never had a proper celebration due to obvious restrictions. and honestly, he’d completely forgotten about it within the last few days. a wedding for his best friends, which she was also supposed to attend. how on earth could he make this right?
“oh! and tell y/n to call me back, please! I’ve been meaning to talk to her about the dresses for the bridesmaids, but her phone is dead or something.”
without missing a beat, harry replied. “yeah, sure. I’ll tell her. also, send me what you need picked up and I’ll get it to you.” 
if there was one thing harry and y/n had in common, it was this: they would always put other people’s needs above their own, especially if it concerned their loved ones. there was no way in hell he would make one of his best friends worry about him when her wedding was just around the corner. he’ll pretend if he had to. but he was not going to fuck this up for them.
“oh, you’re an angel! I’ll send you all the details, thank you! I have to go now but give y/n a kiss from me, please. love you! see you later! bye!”
the phone beeped until inevitable silence.
right, so he had to hope that y/n would attend the wedding. no, he had to be sure that she would be there. not only that; he had to hope that she would agree to act normal around their friends, for now. 
harry needed to find a way to reach her. he might’ve fucked up his own relationship, but he was not going to spoil his friend’s wedding. 
wonderful. what could go wrong? except for absolutely everything?
+++
5.1k, not proofread (whoops), lowercase intended
PART THREE IS HERE HELLOOOOO
thank you for your patience !! i know it’s been a long time coming. parts of this were kind of hard to write for me, so excuse any ill worded sentences, please <3
i hope you enjoy this one! as always, all the love xx
-ve !!
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anitalianfrie · 13 days
Note
cele/bezz + things you said when you were drunk
-daisy (@lastlatebraker)
things you said when you where drunk (bezzetti)
“Stronzo! Eat your own things, not mine!” shouts Pecco, shoving Mig aside. Mig collapses on the chair, laughing, a big laugh that comes from the stomach, and Luca falls down on the sticky surface of the table, headfirst, shoulders shaking. 
Cele looks at them from the other side of the table, eyes blinking, trying to clear his head. He drank just enough to feel completely stupid, but now he wishes the feeling could be washed away in a second, with a snap of his fingers. It’s five am, and they are sitting inside of a kebab shop, after getting out of the club all wobbly and laughters, leaning onto each other to not fall down. 
Nelli, the only one sober enough to still walk straight, plops down in the chair next to his, the tray in his hands hitting heavily the table, a couple of chips falling out of it and on the wood, thanks to the impact. Somebody’s hand immediately reaches out to get them. 
Cele kind of feels in his own world. Words don’t stick, flying around in his head, and he can’t grab them, make them stay still enough for him to give them any meaning or sense. 
He keeps blinking, hard, in the hope of something sticking. Nothing does. 
Something hits him in the shoulder, hard. He almost jumps from the surprise, but then he turns his head, and it’s only Marco. Marco who drank too much, so much that when they got into the kebab shop he simply collapsed onto a table and didn’t say a word, didn’t even ask for food. 
He always gets like this, when he drinks too much. Confused and loose limbed. Affectionate, almost sticky in his need. Cele doesn’t mind it, when Marco comes from behind him on the dance floor and hugs him tight, screaming in his ear, or when he wraps one of his arms around his waist while they wait for their drinks at the bar. He likes it, actually.  
Maybe more than he should. 
Cele gets one of his arms around Marco’s shoulders and squeezes, bringing him a bit closer. Marco smiles, his eyes closed.  
The others are still talking, laughing, and Luca is moving his hands around wildly, pieces of lettuce flying out of his sandwich. Cele stops trying to understand what they are saying. 
Marco starts nuzzling against Cele’s neck, and the brush of his untamed hair against his skin makes him ticklish. It’s... nice. A smile spreads on his lips. He can feel Marco’s mouth stretching against his neck, in a curve that’s twin to his own. 
Cele mindlessly puts one of his hands in Marco’s curls, playing with them, and Marco melts against him.  
It’s only the two of them in the whole world. 
After some time, Marco, uncoordinated and messy, puts one hand on Cele’s thigh and climbs up with his mouth, reaching Cele’s ear. 
“You know.” he says, whispers, and Cele can feel his lips against his skin. The sting of his scruff.  
“You know,” he continues, “I think. If you were a girl. I would fuck you.” and then he giggles, one of his soft laughs, burying his head deep down into the crook of his neck, pushing his nose against the muscles. 
Cele can feel his blood pumping, in his hands, in his veins, in his carotid against which Marco is hiding his face. He doesn’t-  
He tries to make sense of the word he just heard. Maybe the alcohol just scrambled them too. But Cele can see them, written in front of his eyes, and they are not moving. He can feel their sour taste against his tongue with extreme clarity. 
If you were a girl. 
Cele wishes the alcohol could make him feel stupid again, sheepish and without a care in the world. But it’s too late. It’s gone now. 
If you were a girl. 
Mig shoves a chip in his face. 
“Do you want it? I put some lemon on it, it's a banger!” 
Cele takes the chip. 
It tastes like tears. 
Marco keeps nuzzling against his neck. 
send me a pairing and one of these and i’ll write a mini fic
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adore-laur · 1 month
Text
REWIND: PART ONE
Reese likes to play an imaginary game using the sixteen squares above the produce section. 
The grocery store ceiling bears a resemblance to a checkerboard, its tiles creating a stringent pattern with alternating colors of fluorescent white lights and grainy brown drywall. The juxtaposing design is an eyesore, and she has to play on a smaller scale compared to the standard board, but she makes it work. The challenge is a perfect distraction. 
Moving her dark piece diagonally to the upper right, she ends up being captured by her pretend opponent. Two squares kitty-corner from the ploy, a light flickers... 
Rewind. 
There's a piece tucked in the bottom left corner that illuminates from the flash. It can be moved without being overthrown, so she plays her turn again. No consequences occur this time. That's much better. 
Alas, a bleached retina will do Reese no good if she stays in a trance of staring at the ultraviolet beams, so she tears her eyes away and instead focuses on the array of freshly-misted vegetables directly in front of her. 
Rutabaga. What the hell does a rutabaga look like? 
The paper list in her pocket feels like an anchor weighing her down. She prefers not to go shopping alone, but her detrimental procrastination and social anxiety problems have led her to the place she currently stands at a quarter past midnight. No one else is around except for the zombie-like employees that roam the vacant aisles and robotically stock shelves, which is the exact reason why she decided to venture out at the odd time. 
Reese roughly swallows down the apprehension that crawls up her parched throat and sidetracks herself by counting the heads of iceberg lettuce. Two, four, six, eight... 
Rewind. 
Her single mission is to find rutabaga, so she mouths the ill-sounding syllables and scans the rows of cruciferous vegetables, attempting to find one that might look unfamiliar. There's kale, cauliflower, and radishes, but nothing that appears as a godforsaken rutabaga. It's the last item she needs on her list, and with her pathetic luck, it happens to be an impossible hunt. 
Reese just wants to go home. It's late, the rain is pouring outside, and her eyes burn from either insomnia or her long game of ceiling checkers. The skin of her cuticles has been picked raw, and her cheeks are starting to become prickled with heat because she's getting frustrated. She could ask for help, but that would be a crippling recipe for disaster considering her social skills amount to zero. There's also no need to be a burden, especially to minimum wage workers who also want to go home. 
Taking out her phone from her sherbet orange puffer coat that she bought because it looked like a Creamsicle, Reese slides down on the cracked screen to open the search bar. She types in a few incorrect spellings of the unknown vegetable — rootabega, rootabayga, rutabayga? Thankfully, spell check comes to her aid. 
A muted gasp escapes her mouth when the first picture loads. It's possibly the most horrendous-looking food she's ever seen. It almost doesn't look edible with its skin that looks like mold. 
According to WebMD, it's a turnip that's not quite a turnip, therefore making everything more confusing to her. Sighing under her breath, Reese begins foraging again now that she sort of knows what to search for. The reason she absolutely needs it is because it's required for her Halmoni's infamous rutabaga and parsnip soup. She's disabled, so it would have been cruel to ask her to come to the grocery store at an ungodly hour, but she desperately wishes she were here right now to assist her. Speaking of her grandmother, she should probably... 
Rewind. 
Reese reels back the tangled film of her brain. If she could just focus for one second, then she could get home quicker. Just find the rutabaga! 
"Broccoli!" 
A voice that's not her own comes from her right, making her jolt a little. It's scratchy and it seems to be directed towards someone younger since it goes a pitch higher than what she's usually used to hearing from a man. She was too lost in her own head to realize someone was in the same aisle as her, evidently looking for broccoli and, lucky for them, successfully finding it. 
Reese's phone is still in her hands, so she opens her empty messages and pretends to text a nonexistent person so she can peek over at the honey-voiced enigma. Shifting her gaze to the side, she instantly locks eyes with a bundled baby in the seat of a shopping cart. They're already staring at her, green irises and a button nose emerging from the hood of a coat that engulfs their tiny body. Their legs kick in the seat, and their hands hold a squeezable pouch of applesauce, the mushy substance dripping onto the mittens that they wear. 
Reese's cheeks color with a rubescent flush when they point their hand and begin making gurgling noises of nonsense. Regret instantly seeps into her nervous system. 
The mysterious voice playfully gasps and says, "Yeah? Tell me more." 
Stuffing her phone in her pocket, Reese wanders further away from the potential awkward position she might put herself in. She doesn't dare to look at the man as she hastily turns her back to them and heads over to the display of vibrant fruits that are opposite to the vegetables. Bright lemons with leathery peels distract her eyes, but her ears are still tuned into the two people that have also decided to go on a late-night grocery store run. She assumes it's a dad with his baby, or perhaps a babysitter. Maybe someone with their niece or nephew. Either way, she doesn't want to disrupt them. 
Rewind. 
Dammit, she just needs to find the rutabaga and go home. 
"Excuse me, ma'am, do you work here?" 
Her heart plummets and her hands become clammy with anxiety. She feels as if she's in a horror movie, the moment when the main character turns around and is confronted with their worst nightmare. In this case, Reese's worst nightmare is socializing. 
Taking a shallow breath, she slowly twists her head around. She might as well just press play. The nightmare, it turns out, is a handsome man that now holds the baby who was staring at her in his arms. Sat on his hip, the baby, who Reese guesses to be around the age of one, gnaws on a yellow teething ring that's clipped to the man's wrist. They're mesmerized by the stalk of raw broccoli that he holds in his other hand. 
"Hi, do you work here by any chance?" he asks quietly. 
Reese believes his face could make Jesus weep, surely. It can only be described as kind from first impression. Flawless skin decorated with a few beauty marks make him seem put together, physically and mentally. He has a nose that fits perfectly on his face, sloped and dotted with faint freckles. Further down, his lips that look as soft as pink sand dunes curve up into a bashful smile. He also has compelling green eyes that identically match the child's, confirming to her that it must be his daughter. The V-neck striped sweater he wears with earth tones of autumn orange, creamy white, and sangria purple goes well with his slightly tanned skin. His hair is an attractive length with soft, brown strands curling up at the ends. The rings on his fingers glow under the fluorescent lights, every scratch and bit of rust on the metal visible. It's devastating how pretty he is. 
He doesn't look much older than she is, maybe mid-twenties based on pure estimate. If her guess is true, then the fact that he already has a kid makes her feel incredibly behind in life, but she shouldn't assume his family or relationship situation. 
The man suddenly brings his pointer finger to touch his ear and the brings it down to his mouth, his lips forming the question: Are you deaf? 
Good lord. How long has she been ogling him in silence? 
"No," Reese finally manages to say, her voice sticking in her throat. "No, I can hear. And no, I don't work here." 
He nods with an apologetic yet friendly smile. "My mistake. Sorry to bother you." 
She forces herself to keep the conversation going. If she ends up stuttering and making a fool of herself, at least she knows she'll never have to see him again. 
"It's okay," she says, doing a terrible job at trying to maintain eye contact. "Hey, um, do you know where the rutabaga is? I know you don't work here either, but I can't seem to find it anywhere." 
That's good, right? She's doing well. She's honestly glad she didn't come across one of those sketchy old guys who slowly lurk by her in the aisles and tell her that she should smile more. 
His eyebrows raise as he asks, "Is it that ugly-looking vegetable?" 
"That's the one," she replies awkwardly while shifting her feet. 
He jerks his head to the side. "I think I saw some over there. Here, I can show you." 
He begins leading the way while hiking the baby up on his hip, their head lazily bouncing with each step. They look back at Reese and smile with tired, blinking eyes. 
"I'm a pediatrician, so I have to know a decent amount about vegetables since my daughter is starting to eat solids," he says, stopping in his tracks and examining the display of organics. "Surprisingly," — he holds his pointer finger up and beams innocently at her— "rutabaga is a good place to start." 
Reese doesn't know how to respond, so she just nods and tucks a braided strand of hair behind her flushed ear. 
"I'm Harry, by the way," he adds as he picks up a discolored bulb. He then points to his daughter who is drifting off. "This is Marlowe. She had trouble falling asleep tonight, so we decided to go on a little adventure. It seems to be working." 
"I'm Reese," she mumbles shyly. "She's your daughter, right? She's very cute." 
Harry looks at her with a steady, hypnotizing gaze. "She is. Thank you, Reese." His eyes drop down for a brief second before he says, "I love your style." 
Reese looks down at her outfit. It's casual, but she prides herself on the way she's able to coordinate unique vintage pieces. "Oh, uh... thanks. I like your sweater." 
He hands her the rutabaga and then rolls his sleeves up, revealing inked skin. "I got it at a thrift store near Sister Bay. Are you from around here?" 
"I'm from here, yes. I've been to that thrift store a couple of times." 
"Strange that I haven't run into you at one." He grabs a bundle of carrots and inspects them. "It's beautiful this time of year, isn't it? All the trees are changing colors. And the early sunsets." 
Maybe he hasn't run into her because she rarely leaves the house, and her only friend is her grandmother. It's probably why she's single, but that's beside the point. 
"I love northern Midwest skies," she replies, watching his daughter slowly close her eyes and rest her head against his shoulder. "I think the aurora borealis was supposed to be tonight, but I'm pretty sure the rain ruined it." 
Harry points his thumb behind his back. "I saw it on my way in! No joke." 
Reese supposes she's been in the store for way longer than originally planned. Or maybe it's her mind playing tricks on her. She doesn't even want to know what time it really is. 
"Really?" she asks, trying to catch a peek out of the store windows over the tall shelves. 
"Yeah, it's gorgeous. It's raining pretty hard, so the lights are a bit faint, but..." he trails off. 
"Shit, it'll go away soon." She immediately slaps her hands over her mouth. "Sorry! I didn't mean to swear in front of your kid." 
He grins, deep dimples indenting his cheeks. "No worries. You should be able to see the lights if you just look north where Lake Michigan is." 
"Thank you so much, Harry" she tells him, teetering on the heels of her feet. "Um, I'm going to go look for them. Thanks for helping me find the rutabaga." 
He just politely nods and waves, then continues shopping. After Reese checks out, she grabs the two brown paper bags full of her groceries and heads through the automatic doors. The rain is coming down hard, slanted and pelting the pavement. The parking lot is empty except for about five vehicles spaciously sat getting a free car wash from nature. Her sneakers squelch with each step as she veers left to try and catch a glimpse of the lights. Raindrops cascade off her coat, and her mom jeans are becoming splattered with dots of wetness. Her sleek black hair sticks to her face, but she oddly loves the feeling. 
Eventually, she stops walking and looks up, goosebumps immediately spreading from her neck down her spine when she sees the polar captivation. The faint neon green and violet streaks painted over the starlit horizon are mesmeric. Her eyes don't want to break away from the atmospheric phenomenon. It's dreamlike, yet surreal. She feels as if the earth is putting on a show just for her, the brilliant curtain of colors dancing across the sky. 
She stays frozen in place for several minutes, admiring the flickers. It's much more interesting than the grocery store ceiling. This is real life, not some mythical game she created to escape her mind. 
This is the perfect distraction. 
Reese suddenly hears footsteps from behind, splashing noises from the puddles echoing around the empty lot. She turns around to see Harry walking towards her, a long, plaid coat thrown over his sweater now. One hand carries his daughter and the other holds a clear umbrella over his head, along with three heavy grocery bags. He's lifting them with incredible ease. 
"I told you it was beautiful!" he calls out. 
Reese purses her lips and squints up at the sky. "It really is." 
He strides over and holds his umbrella over both of their heads. "Worth getting soaked for?" 
He's close. So close to the point where she notices a small silver earring in his left ear that reflects off the streetlights in the parking lot. Her gaze then falls upon Marlowe as she's fast asleep in his arms, her face squashed on his shoulder and her lips pouted. 
"So worth it." 
"Hopefully she stays asleep," Harry murmurs, adjusting his grip on the grocery bags. 
"Does going to the store usually help?" 
"Anywhere but home seems to help. Being a pediatrician means I sometimes work the night shift, so I take her to the hospital with me. That's probably why her sleep schedule is a mess. I don't really have any other choice, though." 
She doesn't want to pry, so she simply responds with, "That sounds rough." 
He sighs and says, "You could say I'm in desperate need of a babysitter. It's such a small town, so it's difficult to find one that's not already booked. My family doesn't live here either, which means they're not able to watch her." 
Reese's brain fast-forwards before she can stop the tape. It reels past every logical outcome, pausing at an accidental place. 
"I can babysit," she blurts. "I mean, I'm not a professional or licensed by any means, but I have a little brother who I watch all the time and I'm sure babies can't be too hard." 
Harry blinks once. "You're serious?" 
She can back out. She can preserve her social battery. She can say goodnight and never run into such a gorgeous specimen again. 
"No, yeah. I'm super serious." 
Rewind, rewind, rewind. 
No! Press play! 
Reese is going to do this for her grandmother. She can't sit around being unemployed anymore and expect money to grow on the tamarack trees. She needs to start pushing past her trepidation and get a kickstart on something that reaps benefits. What she really needs to do is start letting life happen naturally and in real time. If working for a hot dad can pay next month's rent, she should snatch that opportunity immediately. 
"Wonderful," Harry says enthusiastically. "I'll want to do an interview and run a background check if that's okay. I just met you, so I hope you understand my being a bit wary." 
Reese nods quickly. "Of course. That's not a problem." 
"Awesome." He kisses the side of his daughter's head. "Can I get your email or phone number so we can set up a date and time?" 
She takes her crinkled grocery list out from her pocket as well as her lucky pen she brought along that she clicks whenever she gets anxious. 
"Also," Harry says, clearing his throat, "Marlowe is deaf. I really should have prefaced that. It's why I asked in the store if you were deaf because... I don't know why, actually. I guess it's just a habit for me now." 
"I understand," Reese assures while writing down her number. "That's not a hindrance to me at all. My grandmother is partially blind and in a wheelchair, and I know it's not quite the same as deafness, but I have experience dealing with—" 
"You'd be helping me immensely, Reese," he softly interrupts. He then smirks and narrows his eyes. "If you get the job, that is." 
She laughs, breaking eye contact because goddamn, he's scarily easy to talk to. "Well, I'll be expecting a call." 
He clicks his tongue and takes the paper from her. "Absolutely. Have a good night, yeah?" 
"You too." 
Harry looks at his daughter who has now woken up. She's already studying him as he bends his fingers down to touch his palm twice. "Say bye-bye, Mar." 
She smiles and looks at Reese, imitating his gesture with her tiny hand. She awkwardly returns the gesture, then waves one more time to Harry before making her way to her car. 
On the way there, her rutabaga falls through the soaked paper grocery bag and rolls past her sneakers, stopping at the back tire of her car. She probably should have wrapped it in a reusable produce bag. 
Don't rewind, she tells herself. What's meant to be, will be. 
—— 
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roselatteswrites · 1 year
Text
a different kind of sweetness | eddie munson x reader
summary: eddie and reader’s budding relationship all culminates one night.
tags/warnings: smut (18+, mdni!), afab!reader, friends to lovers, recreational drug use, hand job, grinding, nipple play, vaginal fingering, unprotected vaginal sex, creampie
word count: 2.1k
a/n: regular text size and capitalization below the cut.
cross-posted on ao3
It started with a touch.
It had been a long day. You were all sat at the lunch table, and everyone was laughing and joking around except you. Of course, Eddie noticed. The two of you had been close friends since you moved to Hawkins a few years prior, and he knew you like no other. He placed a hand on your knee and leaned in.
“You alright?” He asked with genuine concern painting his voice. You nodded, but he didn’t seem to believe you. He rubbed your knee gently. “Just let me know when you’re ready to talk about it.” That was the first time.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
A few days later, you were watching a movie in his living room. The two of you were close, sides pressed up against each other. This wasn’t unusual, but the way that he wrapped his arm around you was. You leaned into his touch, almost on instinct, and you stayed that way until the end of the movie. Occasionally, he would rub your shoulder and pull you in closer.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
The next time, you had gone to The Hideout. It was more crowded than usual, and the music boomed. You were sat at the bar when Eddie decided he wanted to go to the floor to listen more closely to the band that was playing. He offered you his hand, and you looked at him inquisitively.
“Can’t risk losing you, now, can I?” He asked rhetorically with a raise of his eyebrow. You took his hand, and he guided you to the front of the crowd. When you had found a spot, he let go of your hand. You felt disappointed at the loss of contact, until he snaked his hand around your waist, holding you snug against him.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
The following weekend, the two of you met up at his place. As you made your way to his room, Eddie turned around, giving you a mischievous look. You looked at him inquisitively.
“What do you say,” he started, “about a little bit of the devil’s lettuce?” You smirked at his wording as he grabbed a pre-rolled joint from the lunchbox on his dresser. You thought for a moment, before agreeing.
You found yourselves in his bed, passing the joint back and forth. As you finished it, you could feel the high start to creep up on you. You reached over Eddie to put out the joint in the ashtray on his bedside table. You made eye contact, and you couldn’t tell if it was the proximity or the weed, but you felt a rush of warmth flow through your body.
As you went back to how you were originally sitting, Eddie kept his eyes on you. He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, hand lingering on your jaw and making its way to your cheek. Suddenly, something shifted.
“Tell me to stop and I will,” he whispered. You hadn’t realized how close your faces were, but you could feel his breath ghost over your lips as he spoke. He leaned in gently, bringing his other hand up to cup your face. Your lips connected in the gentlest of ways. He was careful, tentative, almost worried you would break under his touch. You parted your lips, quietly begging him to deepen the kiss. And he did.  
As your tongues danced together, you could feel the desire growing in your core. Eddie then pulled you into his lap, legs straddling his hips. Your hands made their way to his hair, fingers tangling in the soft locks. You ground your hips down into his, desperate for some sort of friction, and felt his hard length under you. He pulled away softly, pupils blown out.
“You sure you want this?” He asked.
“I’ve wanted this since the day I first met you,” you replied. With his hands still holding your face, he brushed his thumbs against your cheeks. You both admired each other with your kiss-swollen lips.
This time, you leaned in first. Your lips connected with a fervor that was absent before. Lust clouded your brain, as you ground into him once again. Eddie let out a moan in your mouth, and the sound went straight to your centre. You could not only feel him getting harder, but the wetness growing in your core. Suddenly, you felt frustrated at the many layers of clothing separating the two of you. As if he had read your mind, Eddie pulled away.
“Let’s get this off,” he offered, hands slipping down your body to rest at the hem of your sweater. You nodded, and he pulled it off gracefully. You saw the awe in his eyes as he realized you weren’t wearing a bra. He cupped your breasts, fingers finding your nipples and playing with them gently.
“You’re so beautiful,” he spoke softly, looking at you with his doe eyes. He leaned down, taking your breast into his mouth. You whimpered, head falling back at the sensation. His tongue danced around your nipple, and he sucked lightly. Your head felt empty in the best way, the only thing you could think of was the feeling of his mouth on you.
You pulled him up, kissing him desperately, and his hips bucked up into you. Your hands trailed down to his belt buckle, and you separated from him for a moment to check in. When he nodded, you continued to undo his belt and pull down his pants and underwear at once.
You took him into your hand, and his breath hitched under your touch. You stroked softly, kissing him again, and he moaned softly. You could tell he was starting to come undone with the way he could barely keep his lips on yours as they parted in absolute pleasure.
“Sweetheart,” he started, “as much as I’m enjoying this, if you keep going at this pace, I’m not gonna last very long.” You both giggled, and you pressed another kiss to his lips.
Before you knew it, he had you flipped over, back on the mattress. He removed his pants and underwear fully, then his hands went to the waistband of your own sweatpants.
“May I?” He asked, and you chuckled at his sudden formality. You nodded, after which he pulled down your pants and tossed them somewhere in the messy room. You were left in your lace underwear, which he admired for a moment before taking them off as well. You were literally dripping with anticipation, the wetness between your folds nearly falling to the sheets underneath you.
“All this for me?” Eddie questioned with a sly grin. You could feel the heat rise to your cheeks, and you went to cover your face. Before you could, Eddie grabbed your wrists in his hand, placing them above your head.
“Uh-uh, sweetheart. Wanna see that pretty face.” You couldn’t help but to smile at his words, his tone, his everything. The smile was quickly replaced with a “O” expression on your lips as Eddie’s fingers went straight to your sensitive clit. He rubbed gentle circles into your bud before collecting some of your slick and moving his fingers down to your entrance. He started with one finger and immediately reached a spot that you never had on your own.
As he pumped his finger in and out of you, you couldn’t help but to squirm under his touch. Suddenly, he ducked down, placing kisses on your inner thighs. You were nearly buzzing with anticipation as he neared the place you needed him most.
Finally, his mouth connected with your clit, and he sucked softly on it. At this point, you were truly putty in his hands. A slew of moans, whimpers, and curses left your mouth as he continued. He alternated between giving your bud quick kitten licks and circling it slowly. Then, he added another finger inside of you, and you knew you wouldn’t last much longer.
Your hands flew to his hair as he hit that sweet spot inside you whilst simultaneously moving his tongue in just the right way. Your vision started to go, and you could feel the pleasure building in your core. Your hips started to buck up into his mouth, and Eddie moaned at your desperation.
“Fuck, Eds,” you gasped, “just like that! Please keep going.” Your begging seemed to spur him on, and with one final curl of his fingers, you fell apart under his touch. Your orgasm hit you like a freight train. The world seemed to still in that moment, and all you could think of was his touch.
You began to feel a bit overstimulated as Eddie continued his ministrations. You pulled his head up gently, and he looked at you with the utmost adoration in his eyes.
You hummed softly, brushing your fingers through his hair. He rested his head on your stomach and gave you a kiss near your belly button.
“Hey, sweet thing,” he spoke softly, “that feel good?”
“Good?” You replied, “That was fucking amazing.” He smiled, rubbing his thumb against your hip. You lay there like that for a while, until you could feel desire start to build up once again. You bit your lip absentmindedly, and he picked up on the change in your demeanor.
“What is it?” He asked, a smirk forming on his lips.
“Want you to fuck me Eds.” You replied.
“That, I can do.” He got up from where he was laying and swiftly connected his lips to yours. You could feel his cock brush up against your mound, and the anticipation was starting to get to both of you. He pulled away from the kiss, taking his length in his hand. He gave it a few pumps before sliding it through the wetness that had built up in your centre.
Finally, he pressed into you slowly. You both let out a gasp at the feeling. You felt so full as he stretched you out ever so slightly. You grabbed the back of his neck, silently asking for him to start moving.
He set a slow pace at first, but he made sure to enter right to the hilt at each thrust. You couldn’t seem to get enough, and instinctively lifted your hips to meet his. This didn’t go unnoticed, and Eddie picked up the pace.
The room filled with grunts, moans, and the sound of skin against skin. You were each invading all of the other’s senses.
You could feel Eddie start to get closer as his pace faltered and he started to breathe even heavier. You attacked his neck with your lips, sucking and biting at the tender skin. This seemed to push him over the edge.
“Fuck,” he panted, “I’m so close.”
“Yeah?” You egged him on, now looking into his eyes. “You gonna cum for me?” He nodded desperately.
“Where do you want it?” He asked.
“Inside. Want you to cum in me, Eds.” That’s what got him.
“Fuck!” He exclaimed. His hips stalling against yours. You felt him twitch inside you as he filled you to the brim. He dropped his head, forehead resting on top of yours. He went to pull out, but you stopped him.
“Just stay for a bit?” You begged. “Please?” He smiled and nodded gently. He then collapsed onto you, squishing you lightly under his weight. You stayed like that for what seemed like hours, until he finally got up slightly.
“Gonna clean you up, okay?” He asked, stroking your cheek gently. You nodded, still blissed out. He pulled out of you slowly, and you could feel his cum dripping out of you. He gave you a quick kiss on the forehead before getting up. He pulled on his boxers, making his way to the bathroom.
You heard some rustling around for a moment before he returned with a warm cloth. He crawled back onto the bed and in between your legs. You whimpered at the feeling of the cloth connecting with you, and he looked up.
“I’m okay, Eds,” you giggled, “you can keep going.” He finished cleaning you up in a comfortable silence, then pressed a soft kiss to your mound.
“There, all done.” He said, tossing the cloth onto the floor. He then joined you once again. He lay next to you, pulling you into his chest, and you lay your head atop of him.
“I could get used to this.” You whispered after a few moments.
“So could I.” He replied, placing a kiss on top of your head.
132 notes · View notes
Surge
Wipeout - Chapter 1
Tumblr media
Pairing: Surfer!Tom Holland x Reader
A/N: Alright here is the first chapter! I’m very nervous and very excited, I really hope you guys enjoy. I’d really appreciate any feedback you have, anyways enjoy reading and thank you! Love you xx
Warnings: None
Summary: Tom invites you to a kickback
Taglist 
Masterlist
Series Masterlist
❀  ゜.・゜-: ✧ :-  -: ✧ :-゜・.゜❀
“Tom and his friends are here,” Anya smirked as she stepped into the back, “I know you’re on your lunch, but they asked me to let you know.”
“Okay, I’ll take care of them,” you plucked your salad off the counter and pushed the large swinging doors open with your hip.
Tom, Harrison, and Adrien were all seated at their normal table. Tom’s eyes locked on your right away, his eyes wandering your form as you approached him. It wasn’t unusual for the patrons to check you out, you worked at a bikini bar after all, but it was different with Tom. When he looked at you like that it promised something more than a few shitty pick up lines or his number scribbled down on a napkin, something that set your whole body ablaze and filled your stomach with butterflies.
“You look radiant as always,” he grinned, “Is that a new top?”
You rolled your eyes, “Yeah, this annoying boy at the surf shop next door picked it out for me.”
“Well he has great taste,” he scooted to the end of the bench to make room for you beside him.
You sat and began picking at your salad, “Did you just get off?”
“Yeah, Haz and I had the morning shift, Arien decided to join us for a little mid day surf,” he explained. He plucked one of the silverware wraps from the table and unfolded it before stealing a bite of your salad, “Mmm, that’s good,” he hummed happily, not bothering to finish his bite before he spoke, “What is that?”
“A salad, you know, lettuce, vegetables, dressing,” you hit his fork with your own as he tried to grab another bite, “Stay out of my food Holland.”
“Take my order then,” he bit back as he attempted to maneuver his fork around yours.
“Tom she’s on her lunch, let her eat,” Harrison scolded him.
“It’s alright Haz, I told Anya I’d take care of you guys, thank you for keeping him in line though,” you flashed him a smile, “So, what do you guys want?”
“I want one of these,” Tom grinned and stabbed his fork into your salad again, “Don’t worry, you can steal some of mine.”
“Just a cheese burger and fries please,” Harrison flashed you the sweetest smile, “And some of that special lemonade?”
You nodded, “Of course Haz.”
It was just lavender lemonade, but you let him and Tom think it was some special invention of yours.
“Oh yeah, I want some too. Extra sweet, you know how I like my sugar,” Tom winked.
You rolled your eyes at him and turned to Adrien, “What about you Adrien?”
“I’ll just take a burger and fries,” he flushed a bit as he spoke.
Adrien moved in with Tom and Harrison at the beginning of summer when they decided to rent out the third room in their house. Harrison had met him in a math class during his one and only semester of college and the three of them seemed to get along great. Adrien was a lot more shy than either of them though, and he rarely said more than ten words to you.
“Anything to drink?” you asked.
“Yeah, um, I’ll have some lemonade too if that’s alright.”
“No problem, I’ll go put it in,” you stood and glanced back at them as you walked away, “Haz keep Tom out of my food.”
He nodded, “You got it,” he swatted Tom’s hand as he tried to reach for another bite of your food, “You heard her Tom.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he scoffed, his eyes glued to your form as you walked to the bar, “What do you think she puts in those lemonades? They’re kind of purple so it must be blueberry or something right?”
“It doesn’t taste like blueberry,” Harrison frowned, “Blackberry maybe?”
“It’s definitely not blackberry, I hate blackberry,” Tom peered at the drinks she was carrying towards them, “They’re kind of grey too.”
“So what goes in these anyway?” Harrison hummed while you placed their cups in front of them.
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” you smirked as you returned to your seat, “Anya’s putting your orders in, they should be out pretty quick.”
“Thanks,” Tom grinned, “When are you off tonight?”
“Is it blueberry?” Harrison continued before you had the chance to reply, “Or blackberry?”
“No, I’m not gonna tell you what it is Haz,” you hummed and turned to Tom, “I’m not off until 8.”
“Well after you get off you should swing by Kyle’s place, he’s having a little kickback,” he brushed his hand against your thigh with a smirk, “I’ll be there obviously.”
“I promised Grace I’d help her put together her new dresser, but I’ll try to get it done quickly so I can swing by.”
“Lovely, I’ll keep my schedule open for you then,” he winked and squeezed your leg before returning his hands to his lap.
Your eyes darted down to his hands, wishing he’d continued touching you, “How very generous of you.”
“Hey, you know me, I live to please,” he winked again.
তততততততততততত
You let out a frustrated sigh as you squinted at the instructions in front of you, “Grace I think you put the bottom of this drawer on backwards.”
“Seriously?” she groaned, “Why didn’t you stop me?”
“Why is it my job to stop you?” you rolled your eyes, “You should have been looking at the picture, it clearly shows the sticker on the inside of the drawer.”
“It clearly shows the inside of the sticker on the inside of the drawer,” she mocked as she began to disassemble the drawer, “Sorry I’m not an interior designer.”
“This has nothing to do with interior design,” you laughed, “It’s just looking at pictures.”
“Well I’ve been looking at too many pictures lately, I need a break,” she declared before rolling onto her back.
“Come on, we’re almost done, just power through it,” you kicked her leg to try and get her to concentrate again but she was already scrolling through her phone, “I wanna go meet up with Tom and Haz, let’s just get this done.”
“If you want to get dicked down that bad why don’t you just tell Tom to come over here?”
You flushed, “It’s not about that Grace, it’s just fun hanging out all together.”
“Yeah cause you two totally aren’t planning on fucking tonight,” she laughed, “Well it looks like Jade is there so I doubt you’d end up having fun tonight.”
“Seriously?” you groaned and crawled over to her so you could peer at her phone.
When you first moved to Astoria Jade was incredibly nice, the two of you got along great, you even would have considered her a friend, at least up until you met Tom. As soon as Grace introduced you to Tom Jade warned you to stay away from him, claiming he was just bad news. Of course you didn’t head her warning though, and you and Tom became close friends over the school year. Just before summer began you started sleeping together, it had started as a way for you to relieve some stress during finals week, but you two never stopped.
As soon as Jade found out about your situation she flipped on you, and began harassing you at every opportunity. Tom had informed you of their history together, apparently she had been into him through most of high school, and they ended up hooking up once after they graduated high school. It was a one time thing, but she had never moved on. According to Tom she was rude to pretty much any girl that was near him, but she seemed to have it out for you especially since you and Tom were so close. It was easy for you to laugh off the petty things she did, especially since Tom was always quick to stick up for you, but it was still annoying, and you dreaded going anywhere you knew she would be.
“Great,” you rolled your eyes, “Hopefully she’ll just mind her own business.”
“You know she won’t.”
“She never does,” you agreed, “Maybe she’ll be gone by the time I get there.”
“She won’t, I’m sure she’ll stay until Tom…” Grace trailed off, both of you going wide eyes as Adrien’s story started to play.
“Here’s my boy!” he laughed and wrapped his arm around the neck of some man you didn’t recognize.
That wasn’t what concerned you though. In the background of the video you could see Tom, seated on a small couch, kissing Jade. He hooked up with other girls, you knew that, that was fine, kissing Jade was not. Anger started to bubble up inside you, your chest tightened and your fists clenched at your side. Of all the people in the world he decided to make out with her, and on a night where he had invited you out too.  It felt like betrayal, Tom was one of your best friends, and he’d seen firsthand exactly how cruel she was to you. Hell last time you’d run into her he’d been the one to help you clean up after she threw her drink at you.
“I can’t believe him, he is such an dick,” Grace clicked off the story as quickly as she could and turned her attention to you, “Are you okay?”
“Of course I’m okay,” you pursed your lips, “It’s nothing to get upset about, we aren’t exclusive.”
“I know, but it’s Jade. He’s your friend, he shouldn’t be talking to her let alone kissing her,” she put her hand on your back, “I’m so sorry babe.”
“It’s fine, really. It’s not a big deal, just annoying,” you insisted, “Let’s just finish making the dresser.”
“How about we make some drinks instead?” she smiled sympathetically, “It’ll be more fun to work if we’re a little buzzed.”
“You go ahead, I’m gonna keep working.”
“Fine, but I’m gonna make you one too,” she promised, stretching her arms above her head as she pushed herself back to her feet.
You got back to work fixing the drawer while she sauntered out of the room. You couldn’t get the image of Tom and Jade out of your mind. Thinking about it was only making you more and more angry. By the time Grace returned you were still trying to fix the same drawer, your anger making it nearly impossible for you to finish the small task.
“You sure you’re okay?” she hummed.
“It’s just weird, you know?” you scowled and took one of the drinks from her hands. You took a big gulp before you continued, “I’ve seen him get a little flirty with other people before, but never kiss them. I mean I know he sleeps around, but it’s kind of easy to forget when you never see it.”
“I’m sorry,” she gave you a sympathetic look as she sat down across from you, “Can I give you some tough love?”
You nodded, “Yeah, go ahead.”
“If it’s starting to bug you that Tom’s seeing other people, and I mean not just because it’s Jade, it might be time to call it quits.”
“I can’t call it quits Grace,” your face flushed instantly, “He’s my friend.”
“I’m not saying stop being friends with him, the opposite actually. If you’re starting to catch feelings then they’re only going to keep growing if you two keep hooking up. It would be better to call it now so you can still be friends. I mean don’t get me wrong, Tom is a good friend, but he’s never going to commit,” she squeezed your leg, “At least not anytime soon. I’ve known Tom practically my whole life and in that entire time he’s never had so much as a crush, it’s always just sex for him. And that’s totally fine of course, but he’s never gonna give you more than that.”
“I’m not catching feelings,” you defend while your cheeks continued to burn, “I know he won’t commit, I’m fine with that, I’m just annoyed because it’s Jade.”
“I’m not trying to be a jerk here, it’s just kind of inevitable that someone catches feelings eventually,” she shrugged, “And I mean I love Tom, I really do, but even if he were to commit he’s not really boyfriend material. It’s not like he’s really got a plan for the future or anything.”
You rolled your eyes, “I’m not catching feelings for Tom, I’m just annoyed, and I wanna finish this stupid dresser.”
She pursed her lips but nodded, “Alright, pass me the instructions.”
The dresser came together quickly after you got the drawers assembled and though it was still fairly early in the night, you decided to turn in. You no longer had any interest in going out, and hanging out with Grace didn’t seem appealing either. So you changed into your pajamas, turned on your favorite show, and curled up under the covers so you could turn your brain off until you fell asleep. At least that was your plan until Tom called you. You debated whether or not you should answer, eventually deciding you should just in case he was drunk and needed a ride or something.
“Hello?” you rubbed your eyes and mumbled into the phone.
“Hey!” he sounded happy, you could hear the commotion of the party in the background, “Are you still planning on coming by?”
You fought the urge to make some snarky comment because you were sure he was just checking so he’d know if he could sleep with Jade or not.
“No, I’m gonna stay in tonight,” your pursed your lips, “I’m pretty tired.”
“Oh, okay,” he was quiet for just a second, “Well I could come over instead, we could just watch some movies or something.”
“I’m not really in the mood to hang out Tom, I think I’m just gonna go to bed.”
“No problem, maybe we could hang out tomorrow,” he suggested, “Go surfing or something?”
You went quiet while you debated it with yourself. On one hand you were upset with him, but on the other hand it was Tom. He was one of your closest friends and you loved spending time with him. You knew it would be better for you to talk things over with him rather than dwelling on it and making yourself even more upset.
“(y/n)?” Tom grabbed your attention again, “Did you hear me?”
“Yeah, yeah, sorry, I was just thinking,” you sighed, “Tomorrow works for me.”
“Are you alright?”
You flushed, “Of course I’m alright. I’m just tired Tom.”
“Just making sure, you seem a little quiet,” he hummed, “Well I’ll come pick you up around 10 if that works?”
“Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“You too,” he paused again, “Have a good night, get lots of rest.”
“Yeah, you too,” you hung up and tossed your phone to the other side of the bed before you pulled the covers up over your head. You tried to get right to sleep but you couldn’t get the image of Tom and Jade out of your head for the rest of the night.
next chapter
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liminalweirdo · 1 year
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actually useful new years resolutions
If you never make New Years Resolutions, or are thinking about what you can do that’s actually going to be worthwhile:
Learn CPR and first aid. Depending on where you live and what season it is, ambulances are taking too long to reach emergencies because of pandemic-related staffing shortages. In some cases, this means several hours. NHS data released last week showed ambulance crews could not respond to almost one in four emergency calls because so many ambulances were waiting to hand patients over. Also, it looks good on a resume, if you care about that.
Start a garden (yes, even indoors). This should be self-explanatory considering inflation and the cost of food these days, but even one or two swiss chard or napa cabbage plants can go a long way in providing you with greens for the season. Microgreens are also a great way to go, because they’re ready to eat in just 1-2 weeks. If you have a balcony (or south-facing windows) tomatoes and bush-variety beans are a great vegetable to plant as well that should produce a pretty good harvest. Also, it’s good for you and the bees! If you want to try a garden but don’t have an outdoor space, microgreens will grow beside the window. Green onions, living lettuce, herbs, and celery are also possible to grow from cuttings. (Just be careful to keep toxic plants away from your pets, including tomatoes, green onions/chives.) If you need any advice on growing your own food, please feel free to send me an ask, I’d love to help you out.
Stock up on emergency supplies and learn basic emergency preparedness. Stuff like this should be normalized. I’m not telling you to start digging a bunker, I mean having things like enough bottled water, candles or a battery-powered lantern, dried goods (rice, granola bars, instant noodles, rice, pasta, tinned soup, canned veggies, canned fruits in your house (and a manual can opener, not an electric one). This will be useful for power outages and bad weather, both of which are increasing. Stock up on medication like Tylenol/Advil/Pedialyte or Dioralyte etc. for colds, flu, and general illness. I know it’s hard sometimes, but please try to keep your prescribed meds up to date. If bad weather is coming, see if you can get more. 
This doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. Put $5-$15 towards emergency supplies each grocery run and that should be enough to have a good amount of emergency supplies within a month or two. The best time to start is now. Having a supply of bottled water is great for power outages. Filling your bathtub or a bucket to flush your toilet in power outages is a great idea. If your water expires you can use it for cleaning household surfaces and flushing the toilet in a power outage. (Please be careful of small pets and small children if you have buckets/bathtubs filled with water uncovered/attended)
BUY A FIRST AID KIT. Buy two if you can. Keep one in your house and one in your car and replenish it as you use it.
Please feel free to add to this list. Feel free to send me an ask if you want/need any advice on how to prepare for emergencies. I can’t promise I’ll have all the answers, but I will try to help.
Stay safe out there i love you all
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sio-writes · 1 year
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Botanist's Guide - Chapter 12
<<Chapter 11 (NSFW)
<<< Chapter 1
Summary: Cassandra Rowland, PhD, finally has the chance to work on an experiment that really matters: growing Earth crops on another planet. Too many overdue reports and marked failures have put her in hot water with the board, and this is her last chance at redemption. So when she finds herself railroaded by a seven foot tall, glowing alien named Kri, it won’t be as easy as sticking some seeds in the soil and running them under the tap. Tack on the looming repossession of her lab contingent on her success in Kri’s reports, and Cassie realizes she may have her work cut out for her.
Looking into the microscope I see exactly what I should be seeing: The box-like cell structure of a plant, no different than one I'd see on Earth. It's sage, so crushing it between the slides released it's earthy aroma, and now my whole station smells like the greenhouse, but that's not a complaint. 
Mutations are non-existent, cell walls look good, chlorophyll is bright green. I check off the Salvia officinalis box on my laptop as well as transfer any notes from my head to the computer, and then I pick up the next slide. 
Lactuca Satvia, iceberg lettuce, also looks like every slide I've made. No mutations, it's bright green that fades into a white at the stalk, and if it weren't currently doing a job for science, I'd definitely add it to a salad. I note it down right next to the sage, humming something off-key as I do. Maybe I'll grab a salad for lunch. 
There's only a few more slides to go through, I'm making great time today. My mp3 player crapped out on me, a victim of getting slammed against the wall the other day. I have a little funeral planned, which just consists of putting her into the garbage cube-maker thing. If I had funeral music to play I would, but…well.
It's absence has left the lab deathly silent, but I think my coworkers are thankful for it. At least, no one's said otherwise. The change in pace has kept me focused, a good thing for today with so much technical work to get done. Staying on task is my number one priority.
And Jillie won't stop staring at me.
All day now, she's been throwing me glances, flat out staring me down, she even sent a paper note over. I've been pointedly ignoring her in favor of digging into my work, with huge success on my end. I'm apparently very good at my job when I'm avoiding something else.
I'd tried the silent treatment when the door first opened-- two hours later!-- but once she started crying I felt too bad to keep up the charade. Then she'd shoved these nasty granola bars and an ice-cold water in my face, and I ate only to appease her and not because I'd skipped dinner to head back to the lab in the first place. Besides, a few minutes of pretending to be mad told her what I needed it to, and it was about all I could handle anyway. She's my friend, I can't be mad at her for trying to hook me up. But I can pretend to withhold the information to torture her for a few days. Just a little. 
The first day back had been the worst of her prying. Kri had decided to keep up his schedule of only showing up once a week, giving her permission to blabber away.
"So. Is it big?"
"Hand me the pipettes, please."
"Aw come on! At least tell me if he was good!"
"Pipettes. Please."
But Kri is here today, thank god, so her barrage of questions has stopped for now.
Eventually I will share, because I want to, but Kri and I didn't actually talk about anything. He didn't wake me up after ten minutes like I'd asked him to, instead the shrill metal of the door sliding open is what woke me up. And then Jillie rushed in with her terrible food, and we all went home. It felt particularly anti-climactic compared to the heated confession and fucking. 
Part of me is hopeful, but it's nearly drowned out by the cynic in me. Until we parted ways, Kri kept constant contact with me-- a steadying hand on my back, an arm around my waist, and once, for a glorious moment as Jillie walked out ahead of us, he interlaced our hands together and squeezed my fingers. I think my heart actually leapt into my throat, and then he was walking away without a goodbye.
It's left this…whatever we have going, undefined and hazy. We exchanged pleasantries this morning, but that was all, and it's been nothing but work since. I'm not picking up any anger or malice, but it's also awkward as hell, especially with an extra set of blue eyes watching my every move. "Ignore us Jill, but hey Kri, remember when we fucked? That was great, wanna do it again? On a regular basis?" 
It's not like I can call or text him, I don't have a phone that connects to Summanus' sat-system. Just the chunky brick they gave at landing that connects to the handful of satellites we ground out of the military's original plan. I don't know where Kri lives, either, and they don't have any kind of directory in English. But it's not like Kri's made any moves either, and he actually knows where I live.
I sigh through my nose as I prep the next set of slides. Maybe I'm making excuses, flimsy reasons to keep this going as a casual thing instead of what I'd hoped it would be, what I want it to be. But we need to talk, hands down. Because not knowing is driving me crazy. 
Stealing a glance at Kri is easy, just pretend to hold the slide to the light. I simultaneously want to catch his attention as well as have him keep ignoring me so I can keep staring like a creep. There's things I hadn't picked up on before, small details. The line of his shoulders, the angles of his wings. He's still so pretty under the lights with the flecks of opalescent color in his plating, but it feels like I'm seeing him in an entirely new light. Has something in my brain switched?
The cosmos grants me a favor when Jillie walks to the bathroom. Immediately, I step away from my desk and towards Kri.
"Hey," I say. 
I probably should've thought of something to say.
"Hello," he says, resting his hands on his lap and giving me his full attention. "Is everything alright?"
I fidget with my coat, trying not to remember how it felt to take off for him. "Can we--Can we talk?"
He glances sideways at the bathroom door, then back to me. "Right now?"
I've come to realize that Kri isn't cagey like I once thought, he's just intensely private. He doesn't broadcast things, doesn't offer information like I do, isn't loud or boisterous. He flies under the radar a lot, and I think it's on purpose. 
"Later," I assure him. "Later-- um, do you wanna-- I mean, would you mind, maybe--"
As I talk and fidget, Kri stands from his chair and steps up to me. He grabs my face gently between two hands, and tilts my head up to his, both thumbs tracing lines over my cheeks.
"Would you like to talk over dinner?"
"That's a--" I clear my throat, and Kri's eyes crinkle as he smiles. "Sounds great."
His fingers are soft and warm, thumbs tracing over my cheek again, and his gaze falls to my lips. 
Nothing's been set in stone, but this, and the reminder of everything else, makes me want something solid. Something real, tangible.
I've tried to think about what I want to say, but I've never been good at stringing words together. I'm more a woman of action than speaking, I'd rather just push Kri against the desk and kiss him until my lips bleed.
We lean closer together, almost kissing, until the sound of a soft 'ahem' makes us jump apart, and we both turn to the source of the noise. In the doorway, Jillie has the biggest, shit-eating grin on her face.
My jaw works on several starting noises, but none make their way out. I wind up looking like a fish.
She holds up her hands, placating. "Hey don't let me interrupt." And sits back at the countertop as if nothing happened.
Heat rises to my cheeks, even more so when I hear Kri softly chuckle behind me as he steps back to sit down. I grumble back to my desk, and Jillie's pointed looks burns a hole through my spine. But we work through the next thirty minutes without issue. It's boring as shit, and the tension in the air makes my leg bounce up and down.
After a few more minutes of tense silence, I'm ready to burst. I'm going to explode.
"I'm holding a funeral for Emmie."
The two of them look to me, but their expressions couldn't be further apart. Kri looks shocked, genuinely concerned that I have a deceased friend, and Jillie's look is flat, very much done with my shit. 
"Your mp3 player, really Cass?"
Kri's expression resolves into understanding, and then falls to match Jillie's. "Hardly grounds for a funeral."
I chew on my bottom lip and stare at the floor. "Yeah the, uh, the screen cracked." I pull Emmie out of my back pocket, where she usually lives, and display her in my cupped palms like a baby bird. Behind Jillie, Kri sucks in a breath, but says nothing. Jillie either doesn't notice or doesn't care, because she scoffs, smiling.
"You're so dramatic."
I pocket Emmie again, my brows pinching in mock-offense. "She was a member of this family!"
"It was outdated before your grandparents were born!"
"She was reliable," I hold my hand to my heart, and wipe away a tear. "Three thousand songs, no internet required. Now I have to find something else."
"God forbid you talk to us instead."
I hold my sordid expression. "No one here understands me."
"You listen to your sad music too much, hun."
"It is rather whiny," Kri chimes in, and I shoot him a dirty look over Jillie's shoulder. He shrugs.
"You're both bullies, I'm putting in for a transfer," I say very mildly as I grab the next slides.
"Good," Jillie sniffs. "You can smooch it up in someone else's lab."
As slowly and dramatically as possible, I turn to her. "I'm sorry, who stuck us in a room for three hours?"
"Two, you drama queen."
"At least Kri likes me," I say and Jillie shoves my shoulder.
"One of us has to."
Our shoulders shake as we hold back laughter, and for the first time all day, I feel light. Like a seal has been broken and released all the pressure in the room.
Jillie doesn't stare at me anymore, instead she focuses her efforts on the experiment, and even hums a few songs to break up the silence. We hit a flow again, something that's been sorely lacking the past few weeks, and zoom through the required tests. Despite the crushing quiet, it's been nice to sink into a routine that we both know, stepping around each other like a dance.
I keep my eye-contact down to a minimum, because my thoughts will scatter to the wind again. And it's hard enough reigning them in even when I'm  focusing on my work. Looking at Kri only makes me think of the other day, and then what may happen later. It opens up a question that I desperately need an answer to, but won't get until later. But I need it now, and the anxiety of not knowing is ramping up my anxiety to a twelve.
We all break for lunch, the three of us walking to the cafeteria. Jillie and I snag a booth with our food, and Kri splits off. I look around to see if I can find him in the mess that is the food prep stations, but I don't see him. He chose to eat by himself those first few days, a habit that carried over even when Jillie was out sick, but I wish he'd sit with us now. 
Turning back to the booth, I accidentally make eye-contact with Jillie. The flame of curiosity is back in her eyes, and I shrink down in my seat. I suppose it's time to end her suffering.
"This is killing me," she says. "Are you guys a thing now?"
She looks so excited, so hungry to hear about everything. I push out a sigh. "I have no idea. We didn't talk about it."
Leaning back, Jillie's face falls into an impressed expression, and I fail to suppress a responding smile. Jillie slaps her palms on the table and barks out a laugh. "I knew it!"
"Shush!" I hiss, reaching over as if the motion would quiet her. "Not so loud."
Jillie's eyes are glittering as she reaches for my hands across the table. "You have to tell me everything."
In as many words, I try to surmise the evening, from the fight to falling asleep, with Jillie interjecting with questions every now and then. Some details I keep to myself, I'm allowed some secrets, but Jillie's my best friend. We try to eat in between, but eventually wind up setting down our food to focus on conversation.
I finish with her opening the door, and she squeezes my hands. "So where should I disinfect? The countertop? The floor? The shower in the bathroom?"
"He held me against the wall," I say, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth.
"Ooh, standing?"
I shake my head, and her look of realization is priceless.
"You have to tell me how big he is."
I groan to the ceiling. "I wish I knew. I couldn't see it."
"Then you gotta look again, hun!"
Leaning back, I grab my water bottle and take a swig. "He did invite me to dinner."
Jillie nods sagely. "You're definitely gonna get some tonight, then."
I open the wrapper for my salad and mull it over as I pour the dressing on. "I don't know if I want to. At least not tonight. I was hoping we'd talk instead."
"Talk?"
I nod. "We didn't do much talking-- shut up-- so now I don't know what this is. Friends-with-benefits? Something serious? And what do I even want? What does he want from me? What is he--"
"Cass, calm down. Nothing's happened yet."
"That's the problem! I don't know what's going on."
Jillie scrunches her face, her head falling to one side. "Then ask him?"
I plop my cheek into my palm, squishing my face on one side. "Not like we've had time."
Jillie offers me a sympathetic look. "Maybe you need to be more upfront. Instead of making out while I'm in the bathroom, you have a little chit-chat. I can disappear for a while."
"We already agreed on dinner," I say, smiling.
"You sure?" She raises her eyebrows. "You just say the word, and I'm gone for fifteen to twenty minutes."
I shake my head again, filled with warmth that she's so insistent. I am anxious about it, but things can wait. It's not worth putting the experiment on hold for. Besides, the lab is hardly a romantic setting to have a serious conversation.
With a deciding nod, Jillie starts to clean her space, and I'm short to follow behind. The rest of the day runs as planned, no interruptions. Jillie stays in her seat, and I'm not thrown into a panic.
I'm actually looking forward to dinner with Kri. The restaurants here are okay, and there's even a few with that warm, low, romantic lighting that's perfect for dates. And honestly, I'm more excited to spend time with Kri. A small, girlish part of me wants to go home to freshen up, make myself look nice instead of the lab rat I must resemble.
All three of us head out of the building, Jillie heading west, Kri and I heading south. The restaurants are all in the northern quadrant by the Capitalism District, there's none in this direction. The only thing this way is housing.
I fake nonchalance as we walk. "So, where're we headed?"
"The…" he trails off, frowning and speaking slowly like he's testing out the words. "Food storage facility."
I raise an eyebrow. "The grocery store?"
He looks down at me, concerned. "Is that okay?"
The grocery store is closer to a MiniMart or a gas station. A handful of isles of instant meals, comfort foods, and frozen produce shipped from Earth. But there's also the ento-run store to the east with more selection. It's open to the public, but everything is labeled in Universal, and I have no idea what's good or not, so I've been too intimidated to go on my own. "Which store?" I ask.
"The eastern building, I just need to pick up a few items."
I feel my stomach grumble. "And food after?"
"I was hoping to cook for you," he says, wings fluttering. "If that's alright."
I haven't had anyone cook for me since I visited my parents. Warmth settles in me, not quite arousal, but something else, something heavier. Kri wants to cook for me.
"That'd be awesome."
The walk to the grocery store runs through another block of buildings, all of them painted in subdued, warm tones. They're all short, maybe three stories at the tallest, and the terrain reminds me of a seaside strip mall-- laid brick and cobblestone. I've only ever been to this side once on a tour, this is where it turns into culture and arts. 
The store is nestled at the bottom floor of a deep red building, a carved out space that may have once been a multi-vehicle garage. Inside are several rows of foodstuffs, some packaged, some open. There's an assortment of fruits that I have no idea the names of as well as what look like a few rows of packaged instant ramen. Some things are universal, I suppose. 
The store is empty, so it's just the two of us looking through the isles. I wander the isles while Kri picks up several fruits. He grabs a plum-sized blue seed, a handful of bean pods the size of my finger, and two green vegetables that look like potatoes. I'm examining the isle of drinks, wondering what tastes like what, when Kri grabs my attention.
"Would you prefer sweet, or savory?" He holds up two nearly identical looking spheres that look like dark red coconuts. I walk up and pretend to inspect them, humming as I think. I have no idea what he's doing, but I appreciate that he's including me. 
"What do you like?" I ask. 
"It's your decision."
I blink at him. "But I don't know what you're cooking. What's easier for you?"
Kri regards me, head tilted, and puts the coconut in his left hand back on the pile. He doesn't say anything, remaining silent as he grabs several other things, all the while catching glimpses of me as he does. I sidle up to him as the cashier bags his stuff.
"What'd ya go with?"
The cashier extends one long arm and hands Kri his things, and Kri quickly closes the bag so I can't see inside. "You'll have to find out."
I balk. "No fair!"
He smirks at me sidelong. "You insisted it was my decision."
"But I need to know the results."
"You will."
***
Kri’s apartment isn’t far from the store. I have to wrestle one of the grocery bags out of his grubby hands so I can I carry it and feel useful as we wind around buildings and cross a few streets. We walk quietly, not quite awkward enough for my reflexive talking to kick in, but I feel the need to fill the space simmering under my skin.
I want to say something. I should probably say something. It's only fair, and would help my anxiety so much more than waiting. 
We wait in the elevator to his floor and I need to say something. We're approaching his place and I need to speak up, but I say silent.
It's too much, it would break this easy flow. The timing isn't right and god damn it, we're already at his door. 
Stepping through the doorway feels simultaneously like jumping off a cliff and nothing at all. I'm aware of how huge this feels, my stomach lurches and my hands go clammy, but I'm also aware of the world continuing to turn around me. This doesn't feel real, but I want to grab at it with both hands and take it before it disappears.
Kri flicks the lights on, and I don't know what I expected, but a mirror of my own place wasn't it. This building is supposed to have the nicer layouts, with actual bedrooms instead of a studio layout. It's not surprising though, us Earth scientists are about as creative as socks for Christmas when it comes to designing buildings. I hope Kri isn't paying extra.
Everything is scaled up for someone of Kri's size, and there's a massive cloth hammock where the bed should be that's piled high with pillows. Along the living room wall on the right are shelves of books, interspersed with plants of various sizes that hang down almost to the floor. To the left of the sliding glass door to the balcony is another bookshelf, with a screen and speakers, and the light reflects off several picture frames that flick through a few photos.
Giving in to my base urge to be nosy, I set my bag on the kitchen counter and wander over to the television set. Under the coffee table is an ornate looking rug that's definitely too expensive for my apartment, and I try to tip-toe around it to avoid leaving any dirt, when something catches my eye.
In the corner, on a bottom shelf, is a taxidermied rat on a tiny skateboard. It's in the middle of popping an ollie, sitting in the center of some kind of ceramic crown of Summanian flowers. The frame above it swipes to a new photo, and in my peripheral I see Kri
My anxiety flares, and I turn away from the shelf of picture frames and other memories. Focusing my attention on something else is all I can do not to feel like a trespasser here, and I wander to the kitchen where Kri is grabbing several items from the fridge. The feeling of inadequacy swells, gelatinous and without form, and I try to push it down. It squishes between the bars of my mind, an imprint reflected back at me that tells me I’m not welcome here.
Instead, I step up to Kri and wrap my arms over his waist. The chitinous plating covering his body draws lines over his form that lead my fingers to his front, and I lean into his frame. Even bent over, my arms are level with his waist, and when he straightens, it pushes my face into his wings. Their whole structure is split into two sets, the bottom that folds open like a fan, and the top shaped like a dragonfly’s wing. They’re cool under my cheek, catching the light and shimmering.
“Yes?” He asks, two hands coming to pat mine.
I sigh heavily against his back, trying to sort my thoughts and coming up short. Taking my silence for an answer, Kri turns in my arms and cups my face in his lower hands.
“Am I not paying you enough attention?” He teases gently, running a free hand over my head. “Because I’m trying to provide you with a meal.”
Shame wells up behind my anxiety, hot and present, and I puff my cheeks and stare at a spot on his shoulder. I know talking is the right choice here, but my head is too much of a mess to talk about anything. 
Ignoring the swirling feelings in my gut, I push up on the balls of my feet and press our lips together. He hums, a surprised note deep in his throat, as the hands gently cupping my cheeks firmly hold me and he pushes back. It’s a different kiss than the first one, softer, sweeter, holding promise. He’s slow to lick in my mouth, but it adds heat that reminds me of the passion of last week. He can pick me up and set me against the wall, can hold me with two arms and work me over with the other two.
I push my tongue into his mouth, wanting to make up for the interrupted kiss earlier today. My lips slot against his and he hums another satisfied note as he skims his tongue against mine and starts exploring my mouth.
I want more of this, I want this all the time. I can’t imagine giving up the way he slots so perfectly against me, like a puzzle piece I didn’t realize I was missing.
Kri pulls away from my mouth with a pained sound, but I can hear the smile in his voice. "I thought you wanted to talk first."
I lean into him and push my lip out in a pout. "Changed my mind." 
And then he smiles against my lips and pushes forward again. It's so easy to give in, like falling into a soft bed. I'm surrounded by comfort and warmth. 
Taking the lead, Kri steps me over to the counter and, without breaking the kiss, picks me up by the waist and lifts me onto the countertop. The ease that he picks me up makes me feel hot, and I moan softly against his lips before Kri pulls away. 
"What would you like to--" 
"Anything you want," I breathe. "What do you want?" 
Kri laughs, low and dangerous. "From you? Everything."
He leans forward to kiss me again, but the silence of the room makes my growling stomach practically echo against the walls, and Kri's hands stop halfway to my chest.
"You need to eat," he says, smiling. 
With that, he straightens, hands smoothing down my hair, and turns away from me and back into the kitchen.
"What would you like to drink? I have water, and I'm quite fond of Earth's orange juice."
I snicker. "Orange juice is actually more of a breakfast drink."
Kri presses his lips together and looks away, wings fluttering. "I also have lifrit juice, and wegol soda."
I hop down from the countertop and walk around the island to a stool. It's tall enough that when I sit, my legs swing freely. It's been a long while since my feet haven't hit the floor, it makes me feel like a kid again. 
Humming, I tap my fingertips over my lips. I'm not sure what those last two were, and I'm up for trying something new, but I also want tonight to mean something. It feels important that everything go right. "What would go with tonight's meal?"
He perks up at that. "I may have something," And starts rooting around in his lower cabinets. I hear him knocking about lots of metal objects-- pots and pans maybe, before he straightens, holding a bottle of wine.
"Is this acceptable?"
I drag the bottle closer and spin it around to get a look at the label. It's a Sauvignon blanc from a few years back, unopened. What a random thing to have in his cabinet. "Why do you have this?"
"I bought it to sample the taste, but never got the chance," he says as he roots around in the drawers. He opens a few before finding the little corkscrew opener and hands it to me. The bottle pops open easily, and I pour it into the two glasses Kri sets out for me. I bring the glass to my lips and sip at it while Kri watches and mimics me. I'm not super into wine-tasting but this one is good, it would pair well with a fancy meal. 
The face Kri makes after he sips is the same face I make when Jillie orders tequila shots, and I have to be careful not to inhale my drink. Kri immediately sets his glass down and shakes his head.
I hide my smile behind my glass. "Not a fan?"
"That is quite awful," he says with a shudder.
I take another sip of mine and then swirl the glass because I feel fancy. "It's pretty dry, you may be a fan of the sweeter stuff like Moscato. That one tastes like ginger ale."
Kri eyes my glass and purses his lips, skeptical, "I'll take your word for it."
As he turns back to the stove, I tip the remnants of his drink into my own, nearly filling the glass to the brim. Drinking on an empty stomach is a bad idea, especially if I'm going to need to find my way home later, but if I take little sips instead of trying to gulp it down like I usually do, I think I'll manage.
I watch Kri as he cooks, sitting on the opposite end of the countertop island to stay out of his way. As always, he's graceful in what he does, even with his back to me. All four hands doing something different, always switching focus and lasering in on it, not a single mistake is allowed, and absolutely hypnotizing to watch. 
"You're an alien of many talents," I say, and he glances at me over his shoulder.
"How do you mean?"
"I didn't know you could cook."
"Oh, I quite enjoy it. I can make you all manner of things."
I ignore the flutter in my stomach at the idea of him making me food regularly, and try to peer around him as he works. "What's your favorite thing to make?"
"Lepsc'it, it's a fried Trokk root stuffed with vegetables and spices. It's very easy, only a few ingredients, and there's many varieties all over the globe."
"Are you making that now?"
His wings flutter. "I thought I'd attempt something a bit more complicated."
"Are you trying to impress me?" I ask with a smirk.
He's too slow to cover his smile, "Only if it's working."
The smell of spices and vegetables fills the small space, like thyme or rosemary, with a hint of heat behind all of it, mixed with whatever main dish he's prepping. There's large puffs of pink something resting on a pan in the corner, a thick brown sauce that he scraped cubed veggies into, and something else that's blocked by his frame. It all smells heavenly.
My mouth is watering by the time he sets a large plate in front of me with one of those pink bread rolls on one side, the sauce and cubed veggies on the other. I smell more spices and heat, and it's agony to wait for him to sit next to me at the countertop. 
"Is it rude to just dig in?"
"Absolutely it is," he says, smiling. "But we're not at a paid dining establishment." He motions to my plate. "Eat."
This dish reminds me of curry but with bread instead of rice, and smells the same. Kri hasn't laid out any utensils as most ento eat with their hands, so I tear a piece of the pink bread off, dip it in the sauce, and pop it in my mouth. 
Spices and flavor dance over my tongue, things I can't name but are still delicious. It pairs with the bread so well, I'm barely through the first mouthful before I'm shoving a second bite in my face.
Kri eats opposite me, slow and careful, trying to casually glimpse up at me like he's checking in on me, and I cover my smile around another bite of food. He's worried, I can tell, and it's kind of cute.
I wolf down my food and say nothing, and normally I would feel bad about the silence, but Kri doesn't say anything either. 
"It was acceptable?"
"Don't kid yourself, it was delicious. I'm so full," I say, patting my stomach for emphasis.
It's not just the food that keeps me quiet. I also don't want to talk about how I feel. Being emotionally honest makes me anxious, makes me think of all the ways it could be used against me. I don't want to scare off Kri with all the issues I have. He listened to me in Igrien, but how many more times will he listen to me say, "Oh, Stephen made me this way," before he walks out?
But as we both set our plates aside and sit awkwardly in the kitchen, I realize that this is it. That if I want something to happen with Kri, I have to grab it with both hands myself. Even so, I still fiddle with my hands as I speak up.
"So uh, is this the part where we talk about feelings?"
Kri tilts his head, probably picking up on my mood, and quietly says, "If you'd like."
"Not really," I laugh, nerves making the sound shaky. "But I just want to know that we're on the same page-- that we're at a complete understanding," I correct when Kri narrows his eyes in confusion.
I focus my attention to a spot on the table. "I'm not good at words but I want…this. Us-- something…Something."
Even to my own ears it sounds horrible, and I grimace. God damn it, I should've thought about it before we got here. But all I have is feelings, emotions that push at my heart and flood my senses. I don't know how to describe my anxiety any better than describing the color red. Sometimes it feels like too much, like if I acknowledge anything it'll turn into too much to handle.
Kri only stares at me, giving me more space to talk, and my teeth creak as I grind them together anxiously. "Okay, it's your turn."
And then he looks away, down at the table, at his hands. His expression shutters off, a blank face, then darkens into something profoundly sad, and it's like I can hear his thoughts across the table. I appreciate the romp in the lab, Cass, but this just isn't for me. You're too fucked up, and I'm not about to deal with all of that. Except he'd say it nicer, with bigger words. Taking a shaking inhale, I hold my breath as the tightness of anxiety starts to coil around my chest and wraps fingers over my brain.
Then Kri sighs, a heavy movement of his shoulders, and he looks back up at me. "I admit that my thoughts are scattered. Between wanting to breathe you in like oxygen, and questioning whether I've earned the right to inhale. You've already bared your feelings for me, and I did not tell you mine at the time as I was--" he pauses to think, then huffs a laugh, "distracted. But I believe I have words for you now."
He reaches across the small table, taking my hands in his. He's warm as always, and his thumb rubs the back of my hand comfortingly. The tightness in my chest eases, ever so slightly.
"Cassie," he says. "I have a great many feelings for you, some of which I'm prepared for, and others that frighten me deeply. I am well aware that I come with a history, and the weight that it implies. But if you'll allow me your patience and understanding, I'd very much like to explore what a relationship with you would look like."
It's so earnest, so bare, that I'm hit with a wave of emotion that completely drowns out any other thoughts I have in my head. I want to lean forward and kiss his hands. I want to vault over the table and climb into his lap. "Jesus, did you prepare that?"
His eyes widen a fraction, like he didn't expect me to respond like that, and then he nods. "When confronted with interpersonal problems, I know that I tend to recede into myself and minimize the words leaving my mouth, and I'm trying not to do that so we're, what did you say, on the same page? You deserve my transparency in this, especially considering how I've been acting. I was trying to push you away when you wanted to be close, and you deserve so much better than that."
There's so much he's saying without saying it, and I can analyze why he thinks I deserve better, or inspect why all I want to do is jump over the table and give him the ride of his life, but my brain only latches onto my own insecurity. "You prepared a speech for me and all I had was, like, five words."
With a free hand, Kri rustles around in his bag and produces a small square of paper, folded very neatly. "I also wrote down several non-starters in case you realized that you're too good for me, so I also had a handful of words prepared."
It's said so casually, so matter-of-fact, that I can't help but snort. It breaks the tension in the room and my smile feels easier than before, keeping eye contact isn't as difficult.
"And to be fair," he continues. "You said more than enough the other day. I was worried that you'd take it all back."
Something clicks into place in my head, a small, flighty piece of Kri's psyche that I've been seeing without noticing. That despite his attitude, or ego, or anything else, he still craves a form of validation, still vies for approval. And I desperately, so desperately want to know what he's afraid of. But that's a whole other conversation, a heavy and upsetting one. One that I don't think either of us are up for right now.
So I squeeze his hands in mine. "I…really like you," I say. "I think we just need to get better at showing it. I guess we could…figure it out together?"
"That sounds lovely."
Kri tries to clean up on his own, but I butt my way in when he starts to wash the dishes. I'm off to his left, drying and setting them aside, and we fall into a good rhythm that reminds me of his time helping in the lab. We don't need to speak to fill space, I'm guided by his movements, and he's guided by me.
This is nice. Domestic, even. My heart stutters at the idea of doing this again, of sharing a space, of being welcomed into his home.
As I'm drying my hands on a towel, Kri steps around and in front of me, close enough that I can smell fresh water, and I look up at him and offer a warm smile. Taking my chin in one hand, he presses a kiss to my lips, chaste and simple and wholly perfect. This is our first kiss as a couple, I realize as his other hands carefully take the towel from me and rest it on the counter. 
The first of many, hopefully. 
Is that sappy? I don't care, as long as they keep happening. I press up to continue the kiss, a deep-seated need shocking through me at the soft noise he makes against my lips. 
Then Kri searches my face, and I hear the chitter of his wings as they flutter against his back. "You're more than welcome to stay," he says, voice low, leaving no room for misinterpretation.
It physically pains me to be responsible and say, "I have to clock in tomorrow."
He nods once, decisive, and quickly pecks my cheek again before straightening. "I will fly you home, then."
"Sounds goo-- wait what?"
Kri doesn't answer me, only walks past me and into the living room.
Surely, surely he can't mean literally, I continue to think as I grab my stuff and we head out the door.
But sure enough, we walk outside and he picks me up like I'm a princess, something that still shocks me that he can do, and off we go.
I've never seen the Outpost from above, and it's kind of beautiful. I can trace the lights of the walking paths and the hovercar roads, I see single rooms lit from the buildings, other residents up late like me. And outside the border of the Outpost is the pure, unfiltered landscape of Summanus, with its primordial trees and glowing underbrush, like the ground itself is framing us with light. I've seen Kri fly faster, he must be slowing himself for my benefit. And Kri is glowing too, not nearly as bright as the electronics around us, but more subtle, softer. It's still that pale blue, rivers of light lining his chitinous plating. I want to trace them with my fingers, before I remember what it does to him.
We land in front of my building, so gently that Kri's feet don't make a sound, and he sets me down just as carefully.
"Thanks," I mutter, suddenly shy and awkward. I feel like he's bringing me home from prom and it's past curfew. I clear my throat. "Thank you for dinner. Not bad for a first date."
With his two lower arms, he grabs my hands and brings them together. "You will have to decide the next one, then."
I huff an exhale, smiling up at him. "Okay."
He smiles back, soft, relaxed, totally content. Dark eyes search my face, and even in the low light I can make out my reflection in the inky blackness. Two hands come up to cup my cheeks, fingers wrapping around to the base of my skull, as Kri leans down and gently kisses me.
I tilt my head and sigh into it as my eyes fall shut, wishing I were taller so he wouldn't have to bend down as far and I could press up against him. This is still good, though, he can still rest his other hands over my hips, and I can wind my arms over his shoulders. 
This is all going to hit me later, a hurricane of repressed feelings. It's going to be a lot of good emotions though, I can feel them boiling behind my chest. Giddyness and arousal alongside anxiety and dread. I'm both excited and terrified of what could happen.
I can still feel the warmth coming off of him even when he leans back. His hands stay on my face, steady and comforting, and he leans forward and quickly kisses me again. 
"I should go before I follow you inside," he says around a laugh, and I nod sadly. 
"Or before I drag you in." 
He chuckles, low and sexy, and squeezes my hands. 
"Goodnight Cassie." 
"Goodnight Kri," I mumble, and he steps back, dropping my hands from his.
I watch him take off before going inside, and I couldn't wipe the smile from my face if I tried.
Chapter 13 >>
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Brainwaves Bios: Dana Barrett (1984)
Cellist, Painter & Peter's On-Again Off-Again Girlfriend Dana Barrett
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A musician who alerts the Ghostbusters to Gozer's presence before getting possessed by Zuul and has now started studying a Bachelor's Degree in Art. Dana has an on-again-off-again relationship with Peter Venkman, who loves her, but has commitment issues.
"Either I have a monster in my kitchen or I'm completely crazy."
Name
Full Legal Name: Dana Primrose Barrett
First Name: Dana
Meaning: Means 'Wise' in Persian
Pronunciation: DAY-na
Origin: Persian, Arabic
Middle Name: Primrose
Meaning: From the English word for the flower, ultimately deriving from Latin 'Prima Rosa' 'First Rose'
Pronunciation: PRIM-roz
Origin: English
Surname: Barrett
Meaning: Probably derived from the Middle English word 'Barat' meaning 'Trouble, Deception'.
Pronunciation: BAR-it / BEHR-it
Origin: English
Titles: Miss
Nicknames: None
Characteristics
Age: 35
Gender: Female. She/Her Pronouns
Race: Human
Nationality: American Citizen. Born in America
Ethnicity: White
Birth Date: October 8th 1949
Sexuality: Straight
Religion: Christian
Native Language: English
Known Languages: English, (Some) French, (Some) Spanish, (Some) German
Relationship Status: Single / Dating (On-Again-Off-Again)
Astrological Sign: Libra
Actor: Sigourney Weaver
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Geographical Characteristics
Birthplace: Manhattan, New York, United States
Current Residence: Central Park West, New York, New York
Appearance
Height: 6'0" / 183 cm
Weight: 145 lbs / 66 kg
Eye Colour: Brown
Hair Colour: Brown
Hair Dye: None
Body Hair: N/A
Facial Hair: N/A
Tattoos: (As of Jan 1984) None
Piercings: Ear Lobes (Both)
Scars: None
Health and Fitness
Allergies: None
Alcoholic, Smoker, Drug User: Social Drinker
Illnesses/Disorders: None
Medications: None
Any Specific Diet: None
Relationships
Affiliated Groups: None
Friends: Peter Venkman, Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore, Raymond Stantz, Janine Melnitz, Louis Tully (Sort-Of)
Significant Other: Peter Venkman (34, On-Off Boyfriend)
Previous Partners: None of Note
Parents: Hudson Barrett (66, Father), Ellen Barrett (65, Mother, Née Hicks)
Parents-In-Law: None
Siblings: Douglas 'Doug' Barrett (38, Brother), David 'Davey' Barrett (38, Brother)
Nieces & Nephews: None
Children: None
Extras
Level of Education: Currently in college/university
Occupation: Musician
Employer: New York Philharmonic Orchestra
Expertise:
Musical Theorist
Cellist
Sharp Tongue / Quick Wit
Maternal
Once Possessed by Zuul
Faults:
Likes Peter Venkman
Potential to be attacked by paranormal entities
Can be Forgetful at Times
Backstory: Dana lived in 2206 on the 22nd floor in the same building as Louis Tully off of Central Park West. Dana watched a commercial for the Ghostbusters on her living room TV. She smirked and turned it off. Settled into her apartment at last, she put her bags down on the counter and began putting things away. She started taking her groceries out on the table: lettuce, a bag of Stay Puft Marshmallows, a carton of eggs then walked over to a cabinet and put some boxes away. The phenomena began.
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disorderedlovelyfox · 2 years
Text
Sorry for lack of activity the past few days. Main points at the end after bullets. Thanks for coming to my ramble.
So Updates…
Sunday’s food was just taco salad at my parents which I did just lettuce, tomato, green onions, cilantro, salsa, and a queso thats 45 cal for 2tbsp. Also a small piece if caramel pecan coffee cake. Attempted a little return to sender before a guy came over.
Met the guy I’ve been interested in Sunday night. Managed to get away with not eating minus trying a small piece of a thing he makes thats a breakfast bar from his country which I didn’t count.
Yesterday I went to his place. Managed to keep my fast going for about 29hrs. Broke with Mexican with him. Small chicken quesadilla, a guacamole salad, and some chips with queso and salsa. I’m estimating roughly 1k calories. Coulda been worse. Restarted fast too.
Today he’s coming to my place again and is staying over and we’re getting some form of ramen/noodles. I haven’t decided if I’ll try stir fry noodles or vermicelli noodles from this place, or just gee my usual pho.
Tomorrow my bestie is coming over which is 100% pho, which is good cause it’s not too bad.
Best part, this guy is actually perfect for me. No red flags and we’ve been talking for a while. I trauma dumped Sunday which was our first in person meet and he still likes me and keeps wanting to see me. He’s so kind and caring and accepting and responds exactly how I’ve always wanted.
Second best part, from Friday to Monday(I haven’t weighed today yet) I’ve managed to go down 4lbs.
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deadturquoise · 2 years
Text
i need a place to put this
i woke up that morning on a carpeted floor with a bundle of other people. i was still in my clothes from the night before. i opened my eyes to see d____s face on the carpet, opposite mine- in a sort of 69 position. i rememebered talking about the idea of doing only the vocals of a Brand New song for the intro to a set and how that could be cool. i started to remember more about the night before.  
i quit grad school back in march, around st patricks day, after a confusing and painful mere 3 months in savannah. since i finished college, my father was insistent that i “was going to grad school” and i found myself applying for an expensive art school, hundreds of miles away, in a city i’d never been to, basically because a friend of mine had gone there and i’d seen photos of it.  at the time i was ~3 years deep into my relationship with my first real girlfriend, e___. ..i felt pressed more and more to the burner with every day that passed without a response from SCAD. i don’t know if i knew what i was really doing or really even cared. my relationship with my girlfriend was one of the most important things to me. ..i was accepted just days before classes started and had only a few weeks to figure everything out and move. e___ found an internship in new york city for the spring. everything felt rushed, unplanned, undiscussed. i was jealous, arguing a lot with e___ long distance, drinking heavily, fell into a depressed state not knowing anybody or how to integrate myself into a group of students that had already been here for an entire quarter. i flew home for a valentintes day trip where she broke up with me. i stayed up all night drinking coffee at a steak n shake by myself waiting for the sun to rise so i could talk to my dad. my family didn’t offer the support i wanted or needed, but backed up her reasons for leaving. i flew back the next day for the rest of the quarter. while i didn’t quit drinking, i started running for the first time in my life. i’d drive a few minutes down the road to a park where i could be alone to embarass myself. my diet changed heavily. i’d measure everything i was eating, portion out my iceberg lettuce lunches… ration my granola. i dropped a significant amount of weight pretty quickly. i did my best to keep up with my classes, but re-occuring nightmares kept me awake a lot of the time. after a drunken night where i found myself tying a guitar cable around my neck, and then looking everywhere in the house for somewhere to tie it, i decided it was time to call it quits and get out.  
it had been about two months since i’d left school and been back home at my parents house. i’d adapted a totally new persona- opposite of who i was or who e___ knew. i threw out most of my clothes- a lot of things i’d had since childhood. …i didn’t care, i wanted to be the most attractive person i could be. i cut my hair.. i’d go the mall frequently.. collared shirts were a part of my every-day wear… i was out at a new bar every night talking to new people where i could; saying yes to everything.  
i still had quite a few things back in my savannah apartment, which was leased originally through May. i did everything i could to avoid having to go to savannah again with my parents, and eventually convinced this girl, m___, i had recently met to come help me move. …the move was a disaster and we essentially drank at the apartment and beach all weekend, rushing to pack within hours on the final day, and leaving half of the things behind. i wasn’t prepared for the next 24 hours. a friend’s band was playing a huge show in the city that night so i wanted to get home. ohio highway patrol was sure to hit me with a speeding ticket immediately upon entering the state (pulling a u-haul in the right lane and having cars pass me ?) i made it to the show. while i was watching my friends: d____, j__, m____, and p____- i got word from my ex that she was now seeing someone who caused issues in our relationship before and it cut me deep.
after the show we walked down the street to victory’s where i watched this guy serenede a friend of d___’s i liked from the stage. those two have been married for years now. i remember drinking a lot of bulleit in the back by myself and trying not to cry. we all got up, made some breakfast, and d____ took my back to my car, where i found a fresh parking ticket waiting for me. 2 tickets in 12 hours, sweet. when i got home my parents informed me of “our” plan to vacation at the same house as the previous year, where we stayed with e___. i told them i didn’t want to be in that environment and didnt want to go. ..i remember being on my way out the door when this conversation happened. i had cleaned myself up and was going to return the rest of m____s things from the move and talk about what was going on. i sat in my car for a minute, probably caught in a text, before realizing i forgot something inside. when i walked in the garage i could hear from inside- my father screaming at my mother about me and how i needed to “fucking get over it”. i quickly came inside, catching them by surprise.  i remember asking them if they had seen what i was looking for, trying my best to contain the anger over what i had heard behind my back. they blew me off and i slammed the door behind me, walking out. ….my father chased me outside with rage i had never seen, around the back of the house, where he caught my horrorpops shirt with his fist, tearing it off of my body, and then putting his arm around my neck in a chokehold. my mother stood there screaming, i remember pulling my phone out and dialing 911 to get him away from me.
i drove away, shirtless, sobbing, and scared for my life. …i showed up at m____s house and met her mother for the first time, like that. she gave me a hug and her phone number. i showed up at m____s work- i looked insane. i was in shock and didn’t know what to do or where to go. …i eventually came back to my parents house, terrified as to who or what was inside. …my father had gone, and i started packing all of my music equipment. my mother was there. i screamed at her for two hours i think about years of what i’d been feeling. i remember throwing the credit card i was given in her face. i left. the plan was to start playing music on the road and hope for the best. that evening i set up my first solo performance at a friend’s pool party. this was the first show as dead turquoise. this was 10 years ago today.
what have i learned from this? i have fallen apart and put myself together many times and will many times more. …and if i can’t make myself believe that in the times now where i am still falling apart, then i need to take comfort in the fact that i did it once. for that one brief period of time, dead turquoise went at this as hard as we could. i did everything myself, made everything myself, played every show that was offered to me, gave most of what i made away for free. it was my heart and soul. so much of it as a project is intertwined with who i am, or was, as a person. i wrote about what hurt me and screamed about it as hard as i could in an effort to cope with it. somewhere only a couple years in, i stopped playing. it became a point of argument and contention, and became stagnant somewhere as life for me became unstable again, and the space for practice and volume just wasn’t accessible.
i think often about how and if i could or should bring this project back to life.
i wonder if it means something to other people
i wonder if i have always been an asshole
i wonder if i still am
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spellucci · 8 months
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The Storm
Wednesday, August 9, 2023
Rain has been forecast every day this week. Most days it has been overcast with drizzle from time to time, but nothing oppressive. Today, heavy wind and rain has been forecast all day. It is unlikely we will get in much hiking, so we decide to be tourists and go sightseeing up the coast.
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Margaret's tent is bending ominously in the wind. Gusts are expected to approach 50 MPH later today. Since we are not going to be around to look after it, we have a quick breakfast and strike Margaret's drenched tent and stow it in the RV for safekeeping. Then we drive out of the campground and head north on the Cabot Trail into the storm.
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The east wind has been driving waves across the Atlantic all night, sending them crashing against the eastern shore of the island. There are turnouts all along the right side of the Cabot Trail. We avail ourselves of each one in turn. The waves are fantastic and ferocious.
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We hike out to the end of the trail off Green Cove. We struggle to stand against the wind. Bits of sea foam fly up from the waves and smack us in the face. Dora prefers the comfort of the camper to being in the elements and questions our sanity when we invite her outside.
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Soon we put the camper in 4WD and depart the Cabot Trail for the paved and unpaved back roads of northern Cape Breton
We see cormorants diving for breakfast, gulls hunched against the wind, seals bobbing in the surf, gannets skimming the water looking for fish.
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The last time Tim and Jeanne were here, we stayed at Hideaway Campground which serves seafood in their one-table restaurant. The sign out front says Camp Office and Oyster Bar. They are out of oysters, but have plenty of snow crab legs. We buy enough for two sandwiches worth and head into Dingwall.
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Dingwall's North Harbor Beach is a coarse red sand beach with piles of red stone forming the harbor seawall. We park on the sand with the windshield facing the crashing waves. After some brief exploration, we adjourn to the kitchen to shell crab legs until we have a bowl heaped with tender crabmeat and mouths watering for a taste. A touch of mayonnaise, a few leaves of lettuce and we have sandwiches fit for royalty. What a treat!
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After lunch, Margaret went gannet watching. Looking back at the entrance to the harbor, she noticed a tidal bore making it's way into the harbor. She rushed back to the camper, alerting Tim. Our very own tidal bore, Moncton or no Moncton.
Margaret has been searching for months to find a true source of sweet grass which is used by indigenous peoples in the Northeast. She found a huge field of it full of the Tell-Tale sweet smell and purple root. Delight and joy ensued.
We left the beach and headed north, making it all the way to St. Margaret Village, on the northern tip of Cape Breton Island. No land north of us until Newfoundland. The water here is sheltered from the east wind by the island, and the waves minimal, even though the wind is still strong.
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After a walk on the concrete wharf, we turn south back toward our campsite. The drive goes quickly, with the discussion centered on whether the wind will have died down enough to set Margaret's tent back up again by the time we have arrived, or if we will have to wait. We arrive back at camp to driving rain and gusting winds.
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While waiting for the rain to abate we take a walk and Margaret tries her newfound knowledge of spruce trees, from a field guide she bought at park headquarters, to identify white vs red vs black spruce. It's debatable if she is successful but boy do they smell nice!
At a break in the rain, all three humans work quickly to raise the tent, adjusting the stays and hammering in stakes before the tent blows away. Dinner and bed as the wind dies down and everyone has a peaceful sleep.
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friendlyfood · 1 year
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Patricia's Pabulum
Hello, my name is Patricia I am glad you came across my blog I hope you find it helpful! Whether its what you eat or how you eat hope this serves you as you find out my day-to-day intake is perfect most of ours isn't I tend to choose filling and easy meals to make and I hope you find peace in what your relationship with food is and how like any relationship with time and effort it can improve!
Day 1 yum yum sandwich in tum
It started great until the hunger kicks in! What to eat what to snack on well you can say I may have just settled, btw don't judge someday I have 2 meals some days I have 1, and others I have 3...
First meal or drink, it has been a struggle with staying away from sugar I'm not going to lie to myself or you. For days one two, and three I started my day with my new favorite caffeinated home beverage, a shot of espresso from my Keurig, then add cherry syrup and a splash of chocolate syrup blend with a small electric wand and enjoy it. For me, this is a way of caffeine outwearying the sugar knowing it gives me the boost I need then working or walking the sugar off. Now I know and am sorry for not the complete amounts as I put less than a teaspoon of each cherry and chocolate in the espresso it is estimated to be between 15-17 grams of sugar. After the caffeine wears down I needed nutrition I decided my lunch was going to easy a BLT with some water (Photo from stock photos),
Dinner was the same I wasn't as hungry and made half a BLT
want to make one that looks like this delish! Here's how
Ingredients
1. Use White, Wheat, or Sourdough bread (I find Daves Killer smart 70 cal slices to be best in flavor and taste)
2. Cook Bacon, I put my in the air fryer for 14 minutes at 360 flipping halfway through comes out perfectly crisp but if you prefer you can back or cook it on the stovetop for a quicker method
3. Cut smaller circles of tomatoes and set aside
4. Make mayo sauce by combining mayo, salt pepper oil, then I add the lettuce, add some to the top and bottom of the bread
5. Lastly assemble, bread (toast or untoasted I like untoasted so bacon is the main crisp), and mayo mix on top and bottom of the bread add lettuce, tomatoes, bacon cut in half, and enjoy
* Calorie link below is an estimated based nutrient value depending on how much of each ingredient is used*
BLT Nutrient facts
, lots of protein 12 grams for one sandwich with 4 slices of bacon
breakfast drink 120 calories and 10 grams of sugar
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*note original photo that was in my blog was not available but you now get an idea how crispy I like my bacon :)*
Day 2
Day number lucky two, I partook in the same drink as before the chocolate-cherry espresso if you would like to make please refer to say one! Promise its the best
For day two no breakfast as most of my days I skip and let the caffeine do the work of getting me up, throughout the afternoon I had 2 glasses of water and a granola bar from trader joes called ABC bars are delicious chocolate oat bars with almond butter in the middle
My hungry started to kick off after the granola stopped making me fill full around 4, I had a friend coming over 5 so we decided to make my frozen Chinese food from trader joes which was easy and dinner was less than 15 minutes plus I was happy cause I only needed three ingredients trader joes Kung pow chicken sauce that comes with it and oil to cook the chicken (optional soy sauce), for 5.99 and more healthy for going out plus it kept me full from all the protein!
nutrient value, 16 grams of sugar per serving, 20 grams of fat high in protein about 48 grams per 2 cups
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gif from wix gif finder
Day 3
Did someone say Pizza?
Me knowing it was going to be the last day of my caffeine starter I was struggling so I decided to use the same amounts of add-in with my coffee but with an extra shot. Boy did I regret that it made me more anxious than it did refresh and caffeinated after about two hours of ingesting coffee my stomach was talking to me! I decided protein was the best option I got a power crunch bar which is the best! 13-15 Grams of protein was the best decision for me after the protein and fiber started to wear off it was best to drink some water. For me the day was similar to day 2 with me knowing I'd have a friend come over at 4 the hunger started to kick in and at 5 I knew he would be over, there was a mutual decision pizza was the only option! But with a twist, we were going to make it to my house I had frozen pizza crust with no nutrition just mainly calories made with homemade sauce with tomatoes, onion, basil, and seasoning, and we had cheese and pepperoni from frys.
Now as much as I love to give exacts this one also varies in calories, fiber, and protein but what I can give you are the protein bar recommendation and nutritional information
(Please see blue bubble for info and where you can buy power crunch bars )
Now if you want to make homemade pizza here's how and a recommendation of what to get
Ingredients
crust, pizza, sauce, cheese, topping of choosing
Get out the pizza crust (use premade or make your own ) and set the oven to 375
Add Yummy sauce (Recommend organic pizza sauce from Safeway) make your own or buy
Add cheese and toppings
Bake anywhere from 12-14 minutes
Cut and enjoy!
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Pizza provided by wix gif finder
Day 4
Grump Times til dawn
What can I say no caffeine = no happy me
I did this to myself knowing I challenged myself and had a hard time getting my day started without caffeine I started my day with a big glass of water I could feel my grumpiness come on. Throughout the afternoon grumpiness kicked on and I fed it water I wasn't going to let it get the best of me. I distracted myself from eating by doing errands getting gas, getting dog food, and finally going to the car wash finally my stomach had had enough of the games, and by 4 pm she was ready to eat I thought since I played it safe in the morning I should play it safe in the afternoon. Checked in the fridge to see what I had and decided on the bag of elote salad from trader joes with a chicken breast on top.Best choice my stomach didn't fill sick or stuffed
Here is the link to buy it and with the nutritional facts me adding a chicken breast just added protein (43g)and nothing else.
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gif from wix gif finder
Day 5
The final stretch
Day 5 was the best and easiest day to prep and make, my favorite meal as well! I decided it was the day to do an instapot meal I prepped gluten-free made noodles made with brown rice flour put them in the fridge then got started on the sauce.The sauce I made and might I say perfected is less than 5 ingredients,
, ground beef, tomatoes blended with basil/ garlic and seasoning if wanted add spinach in for iron and vitamin k, and c
Steps to make the sauce
1. Brown the ground beef and add to instapot
2. Add in ground tomatoes and stir together both tomatoes, seasoning and beef
3. Set instapot to slow cooker and let it do its thing
4. Add sauce to noodles and ENJOY
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Added from WIX gif finder
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Midwest Gothic Poetry
The sky will grow smaller as my pupils get bigger, I am far from drunk but still I’m falling in love. She burns like her funeral is tomorrow, with all the fury of her childhood culminating into an eight ball on the fourth story of a Marriott hotel. Yes that fourth story, room 402 to be precise, a room full of 420 like the sign was put on wrong, except your sight was replaced with smell, and the smell was that of marijuana. 
Does that make sense? 
It does, to me and I really wish it didn’t. 
I wish that those fucking DARE campaigns worked in high school, that I still called it the devils lettuce and hung around the type of people who do much sensical things like, go on family bike rides, and, fuck other women in different towns. 
I wish a lot of things happened differently than they did but I didn’t get that luxury, I got to collapse in on myself as my character dissolved into little pills and bottles, like barbie’s doctor career, they lay around my plastic furniture like reminders that I fucked up, a lot. You think I don’t know that? I made this life from a collage of bars and college towns, A coalescence of braindead kids and even more braindead adults. The hip ones, who think if they move to a college town they can recapture their old magic, it aint gonna happen you fuckin dumbass! 
You’re nothing! 
None of us are!
They lied to all of us back then, 
They told us stories of bootstraps and I don’t even know what the fuck a bootstrap is,
But god damn if they don’t make a cool story!
I thought I was gonna make it, 
We all did. 
And I was there, I remember the moments before I hated your being, when I thought I was still young enough to make something special, I mean shit, Da vinci didn’t even finish the Lisa until he was 51, I wasn’t even past my hump I had time motherfucker. 
We had time,
There were good times, somewhere in there, 
Where the time turned from seconds, to moments, to immortalized in my mind  I tried to make it simple. We did that a whole lot, tried to make it simpler than it was, to do things like pray to Gods which died long before I was born, and whisper sermons to ourselves in our bedroom. The only Gods I know laid with me when I was drunk, murmuring nonsense in another town, they told me stories of their childhood over candlelight, they’d tell me their trauma and I’d do my best to fuck it away. At the end of the night though, the only thing holding us together was a cigarette, dangling smoke in between our faces and twirling freely through the air for a few, blissful seconds. It wouldn’t last though, the smoke would leave through the window and you’d leave through the door. And all I am left with is my mind, crumbling under it’s own weight. And a hangover that would’ve killed a lesser man. 
Someday I’ll find peace. Someday the women I find will stay, and the cigarettes will flow merrily throughout our lives. Smoke trailing us as we fly down the I-70 in Utah, living out of duffel bags and learning what love is. I don’t think I’ll ever be okay, but I could spend forever fighting the chaos with you. 
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yourprices1 · 2 years
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Great Clips Hours Of Opening, Closing & Working 2022
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Every milkshake has a base of 670 calories, 32g complete fat, 21g soaked fat, 84g carbs, 13g protein, and 360mg sodium. Adding flavors and fixings adds to these aggregates. To keep calories as low as could be expected, https://yourservices.info/ go for the espresso flavor without blend ins. Espresso has the least calories of the relative multitude of flavors, and no sugar. Each shake contains 82g sugar before the additional flavors or blend ins.
The last nourishment profile of each shake relies heavily on the number of blend ins you pick. The milkshake flavors and blend ins that add the most calories are chocolate, malted milk, peanut butter, Oreo treat pieces, and Oreo crème.
For drinks, Five People clients can pick between filtered water, a little wellspring drink, or an enormous wellspring drink. The establishment serves Coca Cola items at partaking eateries that have the Coca Cola Free-form machine. However guests can browse in excess of 100 beverage decisions, the best choice will constantly be plain water.
Clients can arrange filtered water or pick water from the Coca-Cola Free-form machine. Since water is zero-calorie, it's an extraordinary method for balancing other more unhealthy things from the menu. On the off chance that you need something more delightful, the FUZE unsweetened chilled tea is another zero-calorie, zero-sugar choice.
Five People conveys in excess of 100 beverages in taking part cafés. A portion of those incorporate organic product juices and sodas. Since the stores convey Coca-Cola items, numerous clients will choose a soda pop from the wellspring. A 12-ounce serving of Coca-Cola has 240 calories, 65g starches, 65g sugar, and 75mg sodium.
Five People offers decisions for sans gluten, veggie lover, and low-carb slims down, however choices for vegetarian, low-fat, low-FODMAP, and diabetes-accommodating menu things are restricted.
Individuals who follow a without gluten diet can arrange burgers and canines without a bun, and add sans gluten fixings like cheddar, bacon, or barbecued veggies and toppings like bar-b-que sauce or ketchup. Nonetheless, individuals with gluten sensitivities ought to tread carefully since cross-defilement might happen in the Five People's kitchen, as fixings are handled in offices that contain gluten.
Devotees of a low-carb diet might decide to keep away from burger and frank buns. Be that as it may, you can in any case partake in these menu things individually. To zest them up, add low-carb garnishes. Stay away from fixings like bar-b-que sauce, which is higher in sugar and carbs.
The low-FODMAP diet confines explicit food sources, including garlic, onion, mushrooms, wheat, and dairy, since they might demolish side effects of a few stomach related illnesses. Due to these limitations, it tends to be challenging to eat out at cafés like Five People. Devotees of a low-FODMAP might browse consistent fixings to fabricate a "burger bowl" or lettuce-wrapped burger.
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yourservicez · 2 years
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Firehouse Subs Nutrition Facts
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Devotees of a low-carb diet might decide to keep away from burger and frank buns. menu prices Be that as it may, you can in any case partake in these menu things individually. To zest them up, add low-carb garnishes. Stay away from fixings like bar-b-que sauce, which is higher in sugar and carbs.
The low-FODMAP diet confines explicit food sources, including garlic, onion, mushrooms, wheat, and dairy, since they might demolish side effects of a few stomach related illnesses. Due to these limitations, it tends to be challenging to eat out at cafés like Five People. Devotees of a low-FODMAP might browse consistent fixings to fabricate a "burger bowl" or lettuce-wrapped burger.
Dietary rules for individuals with diabetes shift. Some diabetes-accommodating eating regimen plans confine food varieties like bread, potatoes, and milk, which are staple fixings at Five People. Contingent upon their singular dietary necessities, individuals with diabetes might have the option to adjust the veggie sandwich or little cheeseburger.
Five People is famous among low-carb and keto-style fans in light of the fact that its creature items are normally high in fat. This makes it trying for devotees of a low-fat eating regimen to track down consistent menu things. Nonetheless, the veggie sandwich is a sound menu thing that obliges many eating routine sorts.
In the same way as other drive-through joints, Five People menu things will quite often be high in sodium. Burgers, sausages, and fries are completely prepared with salt and high-sodium fixings. Supporters of a low-sodium diet will find it trying to explore the menu, however they can consume more modest segments to keep sodium levels lower.
Five People is a meat-sweetheart's heaven, yet it likewise takes special care of vegans. Since veggie lovers consume dairy items, they have more meatless choices than vegetarians. The veggie sandwich will probably be the most loved decision for vegans since it's loaded with vegetables.
The absolutely plant-based choices at Five People are restricted, however veggie lovers can partake in the French fries and different beverages. Since the buns at Five People contain milk and eggs, they are not appropriate for veggie lovers.
Garnishes: lettuce, pickles, tomatoes, barbecued onions, barbecued mushrooms, ketchup, mustard, relish, onions, jalapeño peppers, green peppers, bar-b-que sauce, hot sauce, A1 sauce
Five People style and Cajun style fries
Drinks
Five People is straightforward with its Sustenance and Allergen Data. They openly uncover which menu things contain peanuts, gluten/wheat, soy, milk, eggs, fish/shellfish, MSG, corn, high fructose corn syrup, and sesame.
As a rule, Five People is ok for individuals with sensitivity to fish, MSG, and corn. Individuals with sensitivity to peanuts, gluten, dairy, soy, and eggs ought to be careful of likely cross-pollution in the Five People kitchen.
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weheartweekendsblog · 2 years
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How to Eat Healthy at a Mexican Restaurant: 9 Things to Order
Average adults need 2,000 to 2,500 calories a day to maintain their current weight, depending on their gender.
With that said, it’s no wonder that Mexican food gets a bad rap when a single plate of nachos can exceed 2,000 calories. Dieters, in general, steer clear of Mexican restaurants because of the lard-laden foods that make it so tasty.
Learn how to eat healthy at a Mexican restaurant by focusing on what you can eat and not what you should avoid.
Eat This, Not That: How to Eat Healthy at a Mexican Restaurant
To eat healthy at Mexican restaurants, you need to begin thinking about the tasty options you do have instead of the thing you shouldn’t have. Focus on the good, the crunchy, and the flavorful.
1. Pico de Gallo
When you get your basket of chips upon sitting down, ask for a side of fresh, pico de gallo instead of sad-looking salsa. This will perk up the chips and give you some solid vitamins from the start.
2.Starter Salads
Consider bypassing the chips altogether and beginning with a filling, starter salad. Many Mexican restaurants have a fresh, lettuce salad on their menu.
3. Ceviche
If you’re looking for protein from the start, consider beginning with some ceviche, marinated raw fish that will begin filling you from the start.
4. Black Beans
Instead of using salsa with your chips, ask for a serving of black beans. These little nuggets are high in both protein and fiber and low in fat.
5. Grainy Corn not Refined Flour
When you have the option, ask for corn tortillas instead of flour tortillas. Corn has fibrous grain instead of refined flour.  
6. Fresh Fajitas not Saucy Enchiladas
6. Selecting fajitas means you can choose how much product you put on each corn tortillas. If you opt for vegetable fajitas, you can pile the tortillas high and feel good about your choices. Keep the cheese and queso to a minimum and instead stick with fresh salsa or guacamole as your topper.
7. Grilled Fish
If you opt for meat, go for gills. Select the grilled fish entree or grilled fish tacos, which will give you your dose of joint-loving omega 3’s for the day.
8. Street Tacos
Street tacos usually have grilled meat and lots of fresh veggies on tiny corn tortillas. They pack a nice, fresh punch.
9. Stay Skinny at the Bar
Opt for the skinny margarita or light Mexican beer when you’re bellying up to the bar at your favorite Mexican restaurant.
Embrace Your Choices
When you focus on fresh, light ingredients and how to eat healthy at a Mexican restaurant, you can walk out the door of your favorite restaurant feeling light and happy instead of like someone should be rolling you back to your car.
Stay away from the gooey queso that may draw your co-workers. You always have choices, and you can still enjoy the company of friends along with the delicacies that you may have not chosen had you not focused on eating healthy in the first place.
When you step into a Mexican restaurant, you don’t have to automatically call the day a cheat day. You can stick with your diet while staring down a basket of fried chips and rich queso because you have these options.
Check out our blog for more interesting articles about the best choices for your life.
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