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amphtaminedreams · 5 years

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My Amateur European Travel Guide

Hi to anyone who’s reading!

I spent just over a month in Europe over the summer and have far too many good food pics that deserve more than sitting in my camera roll untouched and thus I thought I’d do my very shitty, amateurish version of a travel guide, basically a run down of my favourite things that we did in each city. From touristy shit like the Colosseum and the Roman Forum to some equally beautiful but lesser known places, getting an inter-rail pass gives you the time to see everything whilst not spending an absolute fortune.

I went with a friend and we did the basic, first-time traveller route: Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin, Prague, Vienna, Budapest, Ljubljana, Venice, Rome and Milan. The pass, which allowed us to use domestic and international trains on 10 separate days within a month, for students only cost £230. We did then have to pay extra for the Eurostar from St.Pancras to Paris, and additional “reservation” fees to get seats on the trains in Italy and between France and The Netherlands, but all in all this didn’t cost us anymore than about £50. The flight back from Milan to Southend Airport cost £30, though be warned that it’s actually pretty hard to get from Southend to central London; if we hadn’t been able to get a lift, we probably would’ve spent an extra £30 getting home from there.

We were away for 3 weeks and 4 days in total, and on top of the approx. £700/£800 we spent on hostels and air b&bs, I spent about £1500 whilst I was away. You could probably get away with taking about £1000 with you if you’re willing to cook while you’re away. We did a couple of nights whilst we were in air b&bs, but on the whole, we usually ate out. The hostel kitchens were a bit of a nightmare, though I’m not going to pretend it was anything other than a combination of laziness and gluttony that stopped me from cooking, lol. HOW CAN YOU GO TO ITALY AND NOT GO OUT FOR PASTA EVERY NIGHT?! It can’t be done. With my non-existent self-control anyway.

Once I got back from inter-railing, I also then spent a week with my family staying in the cutest seaside town about half an hour outside of Barcelona, Sitges, which we’ve visited a few times before. For that reason, I thought I’d write about some of my favourite things to do in and around Barcelona, not just from this trip but from all the times we’ve visited over the last few years.

I’ll start, though, with the first place we visited on our inter-railing trip: Paris.

Paris, France

It might be because it was the first place we went and the place where I had the most energy and drive to explore, lol, but Paris was my absolute favourite of the cities we visited. I know a lot of people seem to be disappointed with it but there’s just so much to do and so much culture; gorgeous architecture, art, fashion, food, I feel that it lives up to its reputation in every way if you really utilise your time there properly. The public transport is easy to understand and use and my only gripe with the hostel is that it was a little far out. This didn’t really limit us in any way though, so it didn’t bother me.

The Hostel

Our first hostel, Jo&Joe’s in Gentilly, was a really cool place. I believe it was around £30 a night (one of the more expensive hostels we stayed in) to stay in a room like the one I've included a photo of. The beds were comfy and you had a decent amount of space, and the wi-fi was good. My only issue is that there wasn’t much privacy in terms of the bathroom; there was one toilet room and one shower room in the actual bedroom to be shared between the 6 of us. There didn’t really seem to be much about in Gentilly but to be honest, we didn’t venture very far and there’s more than enough to do in central Paris.

Paris Top Things to do:

1. Palais de Tokyo

Probably my favourite art museum we visited our entire trip, Palais de Tokyo was...an experience.

Costing £8 for a student ticket, almost every piece of artwork in there was strange as hell. That being said, it was all very immersive and interactive and like nothing I’d seen before which is why I liked it so much.

Well, apart from the dirty sock. Literally. There was a dirty sock on display. Art, right?

2. Musee D’Orsay

I’d say if you only had time to do one of the “big” art museums in Paris, do Musee D’Orsay, not the Louvre.

It’s a lot more compact and has a wider range of styles, plus a lot more modern art, including some Van Gogh and several Degas. I had so many favourite pieces from Louise Abbema’s Allegories of Spring and Winter, to Thomas Couture’s Romans in their Decadence:

Plus I’d take Amaury Duval’s portrait of Marie-Anne Detourbay over the Mona Lisa any day. The staring into your soul game she’s got going on is unparalleled.

3. Eiffel Tower

I think the level of dumbassery involved in my decision to wear heeled boots to make the 500 or so step journey up the Eiffel Tower cancels out any smarts that went into us saving €3 by booking in advance and walking instead of getting the lift, but it’s all about the experience, lol, and I would do it again for the view. It only cost €5 in total and by booking online about a month before, we didn’t have to wait in what is usually about a 3 hour queue if you turn up on the day.

4. Yves Saint Laurent Museum

It only took us about an hour to do the Yves Saint Laurent museum but it was definitely worth the £10 for entry if you are interested in fashion. It was pretty quiet when we went which I liked as it made for a much more peaceful experience than say, the Louvre, and the museum is very well laid out. There’s a load of original pieces in there and I feel like I learned a lot about Saint Laurent himself too. I also learned that I am very unsophisticated (I really didn’t feel posh enough to be walking into the building, lol) but we been knew.

5. Sacre Couer

Warning: The Sacre Couer is a very steep walk from the nearest tube station. I internally died. Several times. But it’s very beautiful once you get up there.

6. Monmarte

I wish we’d had more time to explore Monmarte as it was one of the prettiest places I saw on our trip, with so many cute restaurants and cafes. Top things to see in the area are the Wall of Love and though we didn’t actually go there, Montmarte Cemetery too. I found out when we got back that the latter is supposedly inhabited by a load of stray cats and now I am severely disappointed that we didn’t have a look. I guess I’ll just have to go back! You know, just to check if it’s true about the cats. And also eat some more of the food, ofc.

7. Vintage Shopping

We had a quick look in two of the vintage shops whilst we were in Paris, Kilo Shop and Tilt Vintage, and I saw a lot of really cool things. Unfortunately, because I couldn’t really fit anything else in my backpack and was being pretty tight with money at that point in the trip (an attitude my bank balance probably wishes had been sustained throughout, lol), I didn’t get anything. Still, I’d definitely recommend checking the shops I mentioned and the other vintage shops in that area out if you are interested in buying some clothes whilst you’re away. The only thing I’d say is to avoid them if you have trouble with crowds and/or small spaces as there were a shit tonne of people in pretty much all the ones we went in and because of the layout, not much room to move. And protip: if you like breathing non-body odour tinted oxygen, don’t venture in any of them in the middle of heatwave. Not fun.

8. Champs Elysees

I think it’s kind of a given that you see the Champs Elysees whilst you’re in Paris, but last time I was there, I only really saw it from an open top bus and was quiet underwhelmed. On this trip, we walked from the Louvre through the Tuileries and then slowly made our way down towards the Arc de Triomphe, having a look down the streets that run perpendicular to the Champs Elysees on our way, which were all very typically Parisienne. At the bottom, you have Aventue Montaigne which has all the fancy, designer flagship stores, and then down Avenue FDR (where we went for lunch) there are plenty of places to stop and have a bite to eat. I thought I’d been all French getting a baguette from down here before realising it was from a glorified Paul which we have all over London, BUT, if you’re into açai bowls, my friend had a really good one at a place called Cojean.

9. Versailles

Before we went to Versailles, a lot of people told me that it was really crowded and not worth going to but I couldn’t disagree more. It was so beautiful both on the inside and out and there’s so much to learn! I’ve always been fascinated by Marie Antoinette so I might be slightly biased but I was totally in my ex-historical nerd element. I would definitely recommend arriving as early as possible if you’re not paying for skip the line tickets, since we got there for around 10 and had to stand in a very long queue to get in. It did move quickly but looked very daunting at first and I imagine it only gets worse as the day goes on.

10. Disneyland Paris

I mean, we didn’t got there this time and technically, it’s not Paris. But come on, it’s Disney. I couldn’t leave it off the list.

Future Paris Bucket List:

Moulin Rouge

Musee d’Orangerie

Jardin du Luxembourg

Louvre Highlights Tour

Louis Vuitton Foundation

Paris Museum of Modern Art

Get dinner in Trocadero

Centre Pompidou

Paris Catacombs

Amsterdam, The Netherlands

Amsterdam is one of my favourite places ever. It’s picturesque, easy to find your way around, and full of amazing food. It was my second time here and my friend’s third so we had a pretty chilled out time but still did a lot. I definitely wouldn’t say no to going back again.

The Hostel

The hostel we stayed in in Amsterdam was called ClinkNoord and was a short (and free!) boat ride away from the city centre. Also at around £30 a night, the rooms were basic yet comfortable and the place as a whole had a modern, utilitarian vibe to it which I really liked. The bathrooms were a short walk down the hall, a more private alternative to the bathrooms in our Paris hostel, and were pretty much always free. As for the showers, they were a wet room kinda situation and a little bit grim at times but as long as you bring flip flops (I didn’t, another example of dumbassery, lol) you’ll be fine. Maybe this is the 10 year old in me leaping out but I really loved the bar area at this hostel too: drinks were cheap, but more importantly, it had table football, pool, AND a ping-pong room. WITH A BLACK LIGHT MIGHT I ADD!

Amsterdam Top Things to do:

1. Electric Ladyland

The edibles had already began to kick in a little bit by the time we got to Electric Ladyland so this might be a bit of an overstatement but this place was, in a good way of course, very trippy. It’s basically a mini fluorescent art museum and exhibition in this guy’s basement (not as weird as it sounds, lol), and for £5 you can go in and see it and then, if you hang around, watch him give a demonstration on how it all works and where he sourced his paint from. It says on the website that it’s by appointment only but we just turned up on the day just as a slot was about to start and were allowed in. In terms of taking an edible before you go in, maybe don’t, lol. It was a bit of a surreal experience; in a very dark room, listening to an old American hippy talk about how he explored caves in Utah to find mineral rocks, the weed-induced paranoia low-key kicked in. I did, at points, momentarily forget that there was a room around the point I was immediately focussed on and started panicking that we were just drifting through space. And then there was the occasional fear that I was trapped in some kind of eternal time loop where the man would just keep on talking in circles and I would be stuck down there forever, not wanting to be rude and leave whilst he was mid-sentence, as part of the universe’s karmic punishment for my impractical level of politeness and need to people-please. Climbing the ladder up out of the basement was...a little tricky, to say the least.

2. Pancake House

You have to have pancakes in Amsterdam and my friend recommended this place as the original one. I had a pancake with ice cream, caramel sauce and chocolate sauce and whilst a little sickly, it was tasty af. If I went again, I think I’d just stick to one sauce; it was so sweet that I had to admit defeat about halfway, something I do not look back on with pride. Next time, I will be victorious over one of these beasts of a pancake. Speaking it into existence.

3. Hire a bike and visit Vondelpark

There are plenty of ways to get about in Amsterdam and the trams are super easy to use but hiring a bike for the time you’re there is probably the cheapest and most Amsterdammy (I know, not really a word) way to get around. We hired our bikes from Starbikes by the central station and it was a very simple and affordable process which I would definitely recommend; their shop has some of the best reviews on Trip Advisor for bike hire. Riding along the canals is quite chilled but if you’re not super confident, the best place to go is probably Vondelpark, as it has wider lanes with the added bonus of not living in semi-permanent fear of being yeeted off your bike into the canal by a car coming up behind you. It also has friendly ducks! How can you say no to that? I mean, ignoring the fact that male ducks have like, 9 inch corkscrew penises which apparently spin when they mate. Thank Reddit for that life-altering and mildly disturbing piece of information.

4. Mannekin chips

The BEST Belgian fries which I spent the entirety of the rest of our trip craving. Best sauce combination is ketchup and samurai sauce, and I recommend going for a regular portion. The large is insane and I am very much in awe of anybody who can finish it.

5. Van Gogh Museum

We didn’t actually visit the Van Gogh museum on this trip but I went on my first visit to Amsterdam and you really can’t miss it. Not only does it have a lot of Van Gogh’s most famous works, including sunflowers, it has a lot of the work of the artists who inspired him as well as pieces from some of his contemporaries.

7. Stedelijk

Really cool modern art museum with an interactive room where you can take part in activities relating to the current exhibition too. Though I guess it really depends on your art preferences, if you do only have time to do either this or The Rijksmuseum, I would definitely say Stedelijk.

8. The Rookies Coffeeshop

So I can’t say I’ve tried a lot of the coffee shops in Amsterdam as on our first visit we only really went to this one and The Bulldog chain, and this time we didn’t go as much, but they do the best space cakes. They’re genuinely really tasty but they can be quite intense if you haven’t smoked in a while or don’t do so regularly so make sure you’re in somewhere you feel safe and have other people with you.

9. Amsterdam Dungeons

Though the Amsterdam Dungeons were more similar to the London Dungeons than I thought they would be, with less of a focus on the dark history of the area and more on general dark European history such as the Spanish Inquisition and witch trials which also came up a lot in the London run through, I would still thoroughly recommend them. The Dungeons are definitely a tourist trap but they’re also just hilarious and you genuinely do learn a little, so I think worth the money!

10. The Blonds Cafe

I wasn’t crazy about the menu here as I’m a ridiculously fussy eater but I think most people will easily find something they like, and the actual cafe and presentation is really cute. The grilled cheese sandwich I ended up having was really good and even if you end up just having a cake, I’d recommend it. They had lemon AND mint infused water dispensers, which, now I’m writing down doesn’t seem very exciting at all, but I got hyped up, okay? And worst case scenario, it’s not for you, there are loads of other cool and very hipster-y looking (lol) independent cafes in the area.

11. Anne Frank House

Again, this was something I did on my first trip to Amsterdam, but you can’t miss it. From a history standpoint and as someone who read Anne Frank’s diary several times when I was younger, I found it very surreal to actually visit the house I’d heard so much about. You definitely get a sense of just how stifling and claustrophobic living in that annex was and even if you’re not into your history, I do think a lot of insight can be gained from taking a trip here!

12. Go to one of the Pastry Shops

If you go to Amsterdam, you’ll see them everywhere, the little slightly shabby-looking cafes with all the amazing waffles and donuts and crepes and cupcakes in the window. Go to one! I had a waffle covered in white chocolate and Oreos and it was 1000% as good as it looked.

13. Moco Museum

The last thing on my Amsterdam list and another thing we did on my first trip, the Moco Museum is one of my favourites I’ve ever been to. It’s pretty small and doesn’t take you that long to look around but it’s full of contemporary, provocative art based around the theme of political and social commentary. Given that description, it’s probably no surprise that it houses a lot of Banksy, but there’s also a fair bit of pop art too, and a very cool gift shop. Because I can never resist a good gift shop.

Future Amsterdam Bucket List:

A day trip to the tulip fields

De Poezenboot

Eye Film Museum

Swing at A’dam lookout

Canal Cruise

Berlin, Germany

Berlin definitely wasn’t what I was expecting it to be. As a capital city, I expected it to be this very built up, bustling, commercial place, but it was actually pretty quiet and very spread out. In a way, it almost seemed a bit left behind and completely deserted in parts. That being said, from a historical point of view, it was probably the most interesting place that we went. It’s easy to forget that just a few decades ago the city was completely divided and you can definitely sense that it’s still rebuilding itself.

The Hostel

We stayed in a hostel that was tucked away in the basement of the Aletto hotel, just a minute’s walk away from the Zoologischer Garden station. I believe it was around £20 a night for an 8 person mixed dorm. The beds weren’t the comfiest and the room itself was a bit dark and dank, given that it was below street level, but all in all, the hostel was decent as a stop-off point. I liked that there was a kind of a small communal area in the kitchen and the bathrooms were spacious and clean, and fortunately, it was pretty quiet when we were there so we usually had them to ourselves.

Berlin Top Things to do:

1. Never Ending Love Story

A really lovely little cafe in a pretty, quiet area, the service here was exceptionally good! I’m not one to complain when workers don’t seem overly enthusiastic, I work in retail so I get that you sometimes can’t be arsed with all the over-the-top politeness, but I do appreciate friendliness and the waitress here was so sweet. I had delicious scrambled eggs on sourdough toast and my friend had pancakes and we both really enjoyed our food.

2. East Side Gallery

I wish I had more to say about the East Side Gallery, but to be honest I was pretty drunk and had half an edible-I thought we were going out out after, don’t judge me-so I can’t remember much. Judging from my very shitty and my friend’s very good (this is one of hers, lol) photos though, it was really interesting. Good street art is up there with the best of them imo and given the context of the gallery, it’s no surprise that a lot of the art is politically charged, which just adds an extra layer of appeal to it. There’s also a lot of good photo ops, or so drunk me clearly thought.

3. Topography of Terror

Built on top of the former SS Reich Main Security Office, the Topography of Terror is a museum I’d say you need to set aside at least 2 and a half/3 hours for to properly do. There’s so much information to get through and I’d say I ended up skimming half of it towards the end because we were short on time; I later found out that there’s even more to see outside which we didn’t even touch.

4. Jewish Museum

Unfortunately, a lot of the Jewish Museum was closed when we went but it’s still a very physically impressive building with exhibitions that are equal parts daunting and thought-provoking, relating to both the Jewish experience during the Second World War and Jewish culture in general.

5. Museum Island

We didn’t actually go in any of the museums on Museum Island but we walked around and sat at a nice little green spot nearby; t’s very pretty to explore, especially as the sun is going down. There were plenty of bars around and people drinking, sunbathing and listening to music by the river. Generally a really relaxed vibe.

6. Fritzies

I know dirty fries aren’t the classiest thing ever but the ones from this place tasted really fucking good. How can you go wrong with a fast food restaurant dedicated to chips?

7. The History: Brandenberg Gate, Reichstag, Checkpoint Charlie, Hitler’s Bunker, Jewish Memorial

Most of these places are within walking distance of each other and we did them all within a couple of hours. Like I said, the best thing about Berlin is the history so I think making an effort to see all these things is really important. On our last night we managed to find out, via a nearby poster, about a free show on the river (with English subtitles obviously; as the basic monolingual bitch I am, anything other than dankeschön and hallo went right over my head) which covered major points in the history of the Reichstag over the last century; it was the perfect way to round off our trip.

8. KW Institute for Contemporary Art

This museum was half the overly pretentious contemporary art that makes classicists roll their eyes:

-though I do actually like it, sue me-

And half the simple, but millennially-inspired kinda stuff that I love. Like, that top collection got me feeling like the new Van Gogh every time I accidentally screenshot my home screen.

So obviously, I rated it. And side-note, the building in general, which had an old, unused warehouse kinda thing going on, along with a shady little courtyard outside, was very cool.

9. Pizza Nostra

Look at this photo. Do I need to say any more?

Future Berlin Bucket List:

Historical River Cruise

Return to the Jewish Museum

The Story of Berlin Museum

Berghain (even just to see it from the outside)

About Blank, Suicide Circus, i.e one of the tamer, more mainstream clubs

Anne Frank Zentrum

Hackescher Hof

Oranienburger Strasse and Kunsthaus Tacheles

Prague, Czech Republic

I absolutely adored Prague. From the second I stepped out of the metro station into Old Town Square on our first evening, I felt like I was walking into a fairytale. All the buildings were so ornate and beautiful, everywhere you look is like a postcard. There’s so much history there which we only really had time to scrape the surface of and I can’t wait to go back.

The Hostel

We stayed at Hostel Dakura which was only around £15 a night and a few metro stops from the city centre. As you can see, it’s a little outdated but all in all, still clean and comfortable. The dorm and bathrooms were very spacious and there was an outdoor seating area with benches and ping-pong too. I’d definitely say it was good value for money.

Prague Top Things to do:

1. Explore Old Town

The Old Town part of Prague is definitely the main attraction, from the cute and very typically European seating areas outside the restaurants, to the Trdelnik shops, to the gothic statues, and the colourful buildings that surround them; you'll feel like you’re walking through a mix between a shopping mall and a medieval time capsule. There’s not really all that much point me putting Old Town on the must-do list as it’s pretty much unavoidable but I liked it so much I just couldn’t leave it out. I really haven’t been anywhere like it before. It’s part Westeros, part Fantasyland at Disney (with some stag dos thrown in), and that’s saying something; Disney World comparisons do not come easy from me.

2. Letna Hill

A bit of a steep walk uphill but totally worth it for the view of the city. Lots of cool bars and places to get cheap beer and cider too, if that’s your kinda thing. Spirits, to my dismay, are pretty much the same price as they are back home. Not that it was on Letna Hill but I paid €20 for 2 doubles one night. €20. PRAGUE IS CHEAP FOR ALCOHOL, THEY SAID. YOU CAN GET PISSED FOR A TENNER, THEY SAID. IT’LL BE FUN, THEY SAID. Sigh.

PROTIP: Make sure you have cash on you, especially if you’re heading up Letna Hill, as they don’t take card at any of the bars and there aren’t any cash machines. There also aren’t any water fountains and the tap water isn’t drinkable, apparently. You know what there are, though? Rats.

I’m going to stop before I put anyone off. Our experience wasn’t the best but done right, I think you could have a really chilled evening here. Go to Letna Hill. It’s lovely.

3. Prague Castle

Also a bit of an uphill walk, Prague Castle is a gothic dream with live music, tantalising food stalls (hehe, tantalising, somebody hire me to write their cookbook ASAP) and insane views. Half the time I felt like I was in King’s Landing and the other half Hogwarts, and that is the kind of 50/50 split I live for.

4. Walk across Charles Bridge and walk alongside the Vltava River

I thought our day peaked when I came to the realisation, whilst crossing the Charles Bridge, that we were in fact surrounded by vaguely religious and mildly creepy Jesus-looking statues but then we reached the other side and soon after, became one with nature. We saw ducks! Otters. Swans. Inject that wholesome shit into my veins.

Also, a pigeon landed on me! That’s right, if you stand there with your arm out for long enough whilst walking alongside the Vltava River, you too can experience the fleeting terror that comes with the possibility of being pooed on but then the earth-shattering realisation that comes after: that pigeons, maybe, aren’t so bad after all. That they’re actually kinda cute in their own weird, scavenging way! That maybe the pigeon lady in Mary Poppins made some points! I mean, can’t we all relate to wanting to steal other people’s food? I definitely can. Consider me a changed woman.

5. GOAP Museum

Though I’m not much of a Salvador Dali fan and I have a sneaking suspicion that some of the “artwork” in this museum was actually just prints from google blown up on A2 photo paper, I thoroughly enjoyed the Alphonse Mucha and Andy Warhol sections of the GOAP.

-Untitled Salvador Dali-

The former is one of my absolute favourite artists so I definitely had to take a moment when I walked in and saw that not only did they have several of his original lithographs, but also a whole wall dedicated to him. I wish I had good photos but the lighting was a bit too artificial to really do it justice. The lithographs came out pretty well though:

Obviously Andy Warhol is an icon too; his exhibition in particular was hugely informative and well laid out, definitely a people pleaser. I couldn’t find all too much online but it seems like the exhibitions mentioned are permanent, so definitely go and check them out.

I also feel the need to mention that it was here I ascended to an elite level of art hoe by buying a Mucha lighter. Jokes on me because it doesn’t work very well, like...at all in anything windier than a very, very mild breeze, BUT it looks pretty, so points for that.

6. Cafe Chloe

Seeing the size of the queue outside Elan Cafe in London, it kinda blew my mind that considering its flower wall, you could just walk into Cafe Chloe and get a table straight away. Obviously the flower wall is a draw for Instagram purposes (yes, I’m a shallow human being, *insert Ariana Grande “and what about it?” gif here*) but the food was really good too. The perfect place to stop off for brunch.

7. Pedalos

Again, the pedalos under Charles Bridge are kind of a tourist trap but it was only around €12 between us to rent one for the hour; most of them appeared to be 4 seaters so you could get 2 more people in there and split the price again, making it even cheaper. Plus, it was really fun and we got to go right up to the ducks!

8. Karlovy Lazne

I’m not gonna lie, tackiness aside, I love a club with multiple rooms and this one had FIVE. There were a lot of English people in there and it did cost about 12 euros in cash to get in (take the cash out in advance as the machine outside charged quite a steep fee), but they played ABBA on more than one occasion so I have zero regrets. I mean, apart from drinking maybe a bit too much once again, but that’s kind of a given at this point. I can only apologise to my liver and what’s left of my dignity.

9. Joy Burger

NGL, the service here wasn’t the best and I kind of felt like I was annoying some of the staff literally just by trying to order my food BUT to be fair, I’d probably be annoyed by me too considering my upholding of the British tradition of asking everywhere if they speak English and hoping for the best rather than actually learning the native language. Anyway, back to the point: look at this burger. Fit. 10/10 would demolish again.

Future Prague Bucket List:

Museum Kampa

Petrin Hill

One of the free city walking tours

Pub crawl

Vienna, Austria

Honestly, of all the places we went to, Vienna was the one I was most pleasantly surprised by. Before going, I’d heard that there wasn’t much to do there and I thought that 24 hours would be more than enough to see the main attractions, but aside from Paris, it’s probably the city I want to revisit most. On every other block there seemed to be some kind of beautiful flower garden or sprawling palace or stately home or elegant cafe, but at the same time, it still had a very modern feel to it. A lot like Paris but more compact, and with a slightly Germanic twist. Plus, I had one of the best Maccies of my life here, so I really can’t complain.

The Hostel

For around £18 for the night we stayed in a 6 person dorm at the Wombats Hostel by Naschmarkt. Because we weren’t there too long, I didn’t get all that much of a feel for it but the communal areas and bar seemed very cool and the central part of the city was in walking distance. The dorms were a little small and outdated and we did get woken up by a fire alarm in the middle of the night but it gave me a kind of primary school trip type nostalgia so I didn’t mind too much. I’d probably look for another hostel if I went back to Vienna just because I think if you were staying for a while, you'd start to feel a bit cooped up in the room. For the one night, however, it was ideal.

Vienna Top Things to do:

1. Museum Quartier

We really only walked through Museum Quartier but there seemed to be loads going on and definitely lots to look at. There’s also a giant astroturf covered waterbed which sounds kinda wack but was actually super fun when I wasn’t fearing my head was going to be squashed like a watermelon by the kids quite literally throwing themselves around on it. So yeah! Check it out!

2. The Traffic Lights

It sounds silly but the traffic lights in the central part of Vienna are super cute. Have a stroll around and see how many of them you can spot. Berlin’s Ampelmann wishes.

3. Belvedere Palace Grounds

Boujie.

4. Schonbrunn Palace Grounds

Even boujier.

5. Volksgarten

I really felt like I was walking through the Red Queen’s gardens. Minus the crochet and threat of decapitation of course.

6. Max and Benito

SO GOOD. And a really funky seating area outside too. Probably best for a quick lunch and I also imagine would make great drunk food if you need an excuse to day drink.

Future Vienna Bucket List:

Natural History Museum of Vienna

Wien Museum

Leopold Museum

Belvedere Museum of Contemporary Art

Cafe hopping

Further explore MuseumQuartier

Naschmarkt

Budapest, Hungary

It might be an unpopular opinion but I didn’t adore Budapest as a city. To be honest, my expectations were probably slightly too high as I’d heard so many people rave about it. I can see why people like it so much: there’s loads of great places to eat, drinks are cheap, and ruin bars are very cool. My issue was just that I thought there’d be more to do in terms of daytime activities. The one art museum we went to was completely deserted and there didn’t seem to be as many historical places to explore as in some of the other cities we visited. Of course it’s all a matter of personal preference and I might have just not done enough research/planned enough, plus that’s still not to say I didn’t have a good time. We had some lovely chilled out days and the city kind of comes alive in a different way in the evening; the boat party we went to was by far the best night out we had throughout our trip and I had some insanely delicious food. We also hired an Air B&B here for about half the price of some of the hostels we stayed in, and so got to actually settle down and spread our stuff out for a few days; something that was much needed after living out of lockers for 2 weeks.

Budapest Top Things to do:

1. Mr.Funk’s

Look at this bad boy and tell me you don’t want to go to Mr.Funk’s and try one of their freakshakes. Tell me that freakshakes being banned in the UK wasn’t a devastating miscarriage of justice and an attack on my human rights. Tell me that I’m not a failure for leaving a donut behind. Pls. Validate me.

2. Street Food Karavan

Street Food Karavan is such a cool little spot with so many delicious looking food stalls, I honestly could’ve eaten there for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day. Plus loads of vegan and veggie options too.

3. Boat Party

I believe we booked our night through budapestboatparty.com and honestly it was so fun and such good value for money. It may have partly been down to the alcohol and the edible I had before, lol, but everything felt so surreal; I spent 90% of the event just being amazed by how beautiful our surroundings were and the combination of the breeze and the scenery and the music made for the absolute best atmosphere. Everyone we spoke to was so friendly and if I went back I’d love to do it again, maybe slightly more sober (unlikely) so I can take even more of it in. That being said, bear in mind that these kind of things can probably be a bit hit or miss. The friend that recommended the boat party told me that she spent the first half of the event avoiding being hit on by men twice her age, so clearly it depends a lot on the company, lol!

4. Kiosk

We didn’t actually have proper meals at Kiosk but we did find some deck chairs to sit on whilst we ate ice cream from one of the stalls they were running outside. The restaurant itself was inside but the outdoor seating had a stunning view of the sunset and the river and the area in general was really buzzing.

5. Shoes on the Danube

It’s a simple monument but the story behind the Shoes on the Danube makes it one of the most important things to see in Budapest.

6. Szechenyi Baths

Before we actually went into the baths, I was a bit grossed out. Like, it sounded great in theory but then we got there and I realised we were about to step into what is essentially a steaming pit of bodily fluids. BUT, put that minute, mildly repugnant detail aside and you’ll have a brilliant time. Start with the whirlpool in the outdoor area and by the time you’ve done that, you’ll be feeling wild enough to bath and sauna hop to your heart’s desire. Unless you are a real, compulsive germaphobe, pissing yourself at the sight of little kids and adults alike getting uncontrollably whisked around like a bunch of sweaty egg yolks is enough to make you put any (don’t get me wrong, warranted) hygiene concerns to one side. You can shower when you’re dead. That’s what they say, right?

7. Margaret Island

I think we had one of our most relaxed afternoons at Magaret Island, lying out on the grass by the dancing fountains; it’s definitely a great place to sunbathe, read, or grab a cheap alcoholic drink. There’s options for if you’re feeling more adventurous too: on our second visit there, we paid €10 between us to hire a pedal car for the hour and decided to cycle round the island. It was by the grace of god (or for the most part my friend’s very necessary backseat driving) that there was only one casualty of my steering. Angry Hungarian man, if you’re out there, I’m very sorry our pedal car almost knocked you off your bike. My bad. But yeah, my catastrophic attempt at doing the bare minimum physical activity aside, go and chill on Margaret Island. It’s super pretty.

8. Buda Castle and Fisherman’s Bastion

Just a heads up that we paid around €4 or €5 each to go up to the top of Castle Hill with one of the companies giving out flyers at the bottom, so have a look and see if you can find a better deal before paying to ride the funicular. Once we did get up there we could hop on and off, and the ticket included a ride down as well. In terms of what to expect when you get up there, spectacular views. Though I found the castle itself a bit disappointing, Fisherman’s Bastion was really beautiful and had some great photo spots. If I went back to Budapest, I’d probably spend more time in the area as I think that’s where a lot of the history actually is.

9. Szimpla Kert

Probably the most famous ruin bar in Budapest, I really loved Szimpla Kert. It was a bit chaotic and very crowded but the eccentric interiors and open air courtyard gave it an almost magical feel that only a tiny number of bars I’ve been to have anything on. Vaulty Towers and Bar Elba in Waterloo I’m looking at you. Missing you and your overpriced drinks always xoxo

10. House of Terror

The House of Terror was my only real history fix whilst we were in Budapest and I found it really interesting. In particular, I liked how all the visitors took sheets of information in each room to read in our own time rather than us all trying to crowd round one sign. The basement part of the museum is presumably the main draw, and I understand why given how unnerving it is, but I enjoyed the whole museum. Obviously there are things you have to take with a pinch of salt and (our Air B&B host warned in our welcome package that it was slightly biased; I couldn’t find much about public opinion of the museum online so if by the slim chance somebody who knows more is reading this please let me know! Educate me!), but at the same time, if just for walking through the site of the past atrocities, there is definitely something to be gleaned by visiting.

11. Parliament Building

There was really no need for the Hungarian Parliamentary building to step on Westminter’s neck like that but...I guess she did what she had to do.

12. Ludwig Museum

Like I mentioned, this museum was pretty deserted but they did have some cool contemporary art and in particular an exhibition dedicated to the fashion designer Kiraly Tamas which I really enjoyed. His are the pieces in the photo above!

13. Donut Library

Oreo donuts. Need I say more?

14. La Fabbrica

A very boujie but surprisingly affordable Italian restaurant right opposite St.Stephen’s basilica (pictured), I had one of the many top tier spag bols on this trip here. The toilets are also stylish af and made me feel very much like a peasant so maybe wear something nice so you can get those good good HQ bathroom mirror pics. I was certainly not in any shape to do so. Those toilets were really wasted on my scruffy ass that day.

Future Budapest Bucket List:

The Hungarian National Gallery

Műcsarnok

Museum of Fine Arts

Budapest History Museum

Hungarian State Opera House

Flippermúzeum

Instant

Great Synagogue

Memento Park

Secret Walking Tour

Ljubljana, Slovenia

Though we mainly went to Ljubljana so that we could visit Lake Bled, it was still a very cute little area. Pretty small for a capital city but there were loads of day trips out from the centre and for the evenings, a whole range of lively bars and restaurants along the river.

The Hostel

We stayed at Hostel Kva right in the city centre and paid around €20 a night. The hostel itself was lovely and kind of felt like more of a young people’s B&B than hostel; the communal area in particular had a very cosy, personal feel to it and the staff were incredibly friendly and helpful. That being said, the actual rooms were very small and I did feel pretty cramped whilst we were there, more so than in any of the other hostels we stayed at.

Ljubljana Top Things to do:

1. Meselkova Mesa

About a 15 minute walk from the city centre, Meselkova Mesa is a very interesting place. I'm not going to lie, I did feel a little on edge whilst we were there, lol; it was pretty deserted apart from a couple of men having a very loud argument. Nevertheless, there’s some very cool buildings and street art so if you’re in a group, check it out.

2. Lake Bled

Our day trip to Lake Bled, a half hour coach journey from Ljubljana Station for IIRC €8 return, was one of my favourite things we did whilst inter-railing. Not only is it absolutely magnificent to look at but there’s so much to do that I feel like you could have your whole holiday there if you wanted to. Assault courses, hikes, swimming, water sports, rowing, tobogganing, chilling on the (yes, artificial) sand, whether you want to relax or thrill-seek, you’re going to have plenty to do.

3. Puffy

These mini pancakes were so good that I didn’t even notice the chocolate sauce was Nutella and that’s saying something because WHY DO THEY PUT IT ON EVERYTHING IN MAINLAND EUROPE!? PEOPLE WHO DON’T LIKE NUTELLA HAVE RIGHTS TOO!

4. Pop’s Place

The best burger of the entire trip, hands down, and the whole menu looked delicious. Would I fly to Ljubljana just to have another one? Probs.

5. Tivoli Park

A great place to sit down and read a book or go on a bike ride, or alternatively, if you’re me, awkwardly hide from a bunch of people from your hostel you irrationally believed were judging you earlier that day in the bathrooms.

6. Castle Walk

The uphill walk did kill me a little but I am mildly asthmatic so let’s put it down to that. Nothing to do with the fact I haven’t been to the gym in a year. Nothing at all. Anyways, the view was very pretty and though we didn’t go inside the castle, there’s apparently an escape room in there as well as a museum, a restaurant and a jazz club so definitely worth the minor hike.

7. Flower Market

If you go to the square where the food market is, by Dragon Bridge, you’ll find endless stalls of some of the most beautifully arranged flowers I’ve ever seen. It might be a seasonal thing, I’m not sure, but if you’re there in the summer, I’d recommend seeking the market out. They’re a very reasonable price and yes, I did specifically buy a sunflower for a photo op for 50 cent, guilty as charged. When vanity is that cheap I really can’t resist, lol.

8. Illusions Museum

I would definitely recommend going with at least one other person to get the most out of the Illusions Museum and €10 is pretty pricey but if you want to get a cheesy oh-look-I’m-standing-on-the-ceiling photo, here is your best bet.

9. Grefino Frozen Yogurt

I’m not gonna lie, I don’t actually like frozen yogurt myself but I can appreciate good food when I see it and my friend’s portion looked FIT. Plus, I always get excited when anything’s make your own; there will always be a part of me that feels incomplete without regular trips to Pizza Hut to overdo it with the ice cream factory (which this is basically a frozen yogurt, grown up version of). Miss you always.

Future Ljubljana Bucket List:

Escape Castle

Ljubljana Castle guided tour

Tobogganing at Lake Bled

Row to the Pilgrimage Church of the Assumption of Maria at Lake Bled

Škocjan Caves

MSUM

Venice, Italy

Everywhere you look in Venice is picture perfect. It literally looked exactly how it did in all the photos I’d seen beforehand. There’s so much to do and so many amazing looking places to eat, I could easily spend a relaxed week here. Emphasis on the relaxed because getting around does involve a lot of walking and a surprising amount of stairs, and we had to pack as much as we could into the short amount of time that we had. By the end of our first day in Venice alone, the word exhausted had a whole new meaning. In terms of public transport, there’s only really the boat system, and that’s a steep €18 for a day ticket. Probably partly due to my moaning, we did end up getting one of these on our last day, but that meant that we also got to go to the islands of Murano and Burano which are included. I definitely wouldn’t say no to going back but it’s quite an overwhelming space: a bit disorientating, crowded, and very expensive! You’d have to give me a few years, lol!

The Hostel

Whilst in Venice we stayed at the Wombats Hostel in Mestre, for around £13 a night. We were lucky in that it had only opened the week before (they were actually celebrating its opening at the Wombats in Naschmarkt when we were there!), and so it was super cheap. I imagine by now the price would’ve increased as it was a lovely hostel. Being new there were obviously some teething problems: queues on the front desk were pretty long, the free drinks vouchers given out had mistakes in that you couldn’t redeem them for one of the drinks that was listed, the kitchens were apparently very overcrowded with 2 faulty hobs between about 50 people, and our room as well as the bathroom in the lobby frequently ran out of toilet paper. Other than that, the dorms were the most spacious, modern and breathable of all the hostels we stayed in and the bar and communal areas were great. The only thing to bear in mind is that you do have to get a train into the main island of Venice, but it’s only about €3 for a return and it’s a short journey.

Venice Top Things to do:

1. Peggy Guggenheim

A really beautiful museum and garden right on the waterfront, there were all kinds of modern and contemporary art and even a piece (pictured above) by Jenny Holzer who is one of my favourite contemporary artists! I definitely fangirled a little! Some other standouts were by Jackson Pollock, Pablo Picasso, Andy Warhol, Max Ernst, Joan Mitchell and Willem de Kooning which I’m going to offload here to free up some space on my camera roll, lol:

Composition by Joan Mitchell (1962)

Silver Bedhead by Alexander Calder (1945-1946)

Untitled by Willem de Kooning (1958)

Circumcision by Max Ernst (1946)

2. Liberia Acqua Alta

An eclectic little bookshop tucked away down some Venetian side street with tower upon tower of some of the most random combinations of books I’ve ever seen, my favourite thing about Liberia Acqua Alta was the cat chilling behind the counter. It’s shameful the vigour with which the crazy cat lady in me jumped out but I actually did start tearing up at the sight of it. I hadn’t seen a cat in 3 WEEKS! I missed my babies okay:(

3. Takeaway Pizza

There’s loads of fresh takeaway pizza places around Venice but this particular slice was from a place called Farini. I think there might be more than one of them, and to be honest, when there’s pizza that delicious looking in the window, it would be a crime not to at least seek one out.

4. St.Mark’s Square and Basilica and Bridge of Sighs

It might be a huge tourist trap but you really can’t miss St.Mark’s Square. The Basilica is one of the most magnificent buildings I’ve ever seen and even as someone who is not at all religious, you can appreciate the thought and craftsmanship that went into it. The astrological clock right next to the basilica is also absolutely stunning, just as much so as the one in Prague, imo:

Getting dive-bombed by a flock of pigeons in the square was fun too. My life flashed before my eyes just for a moment. It was a humbling experience.

5. Leonardo Da Vinci Exhibit at Palazzo Zaguri

Basically, this exhibit was a collection of Da Vinci’s drawings of the anatomy of the human body side by side with the corresponding plasticised body parts. Really interesting and not at all as gory as it sounds, which was really the only disappointing part for me, lol.

6. Fondaco de Tedeschi

If you want a good view of the city without paying a fortune, Fondaco de Tedeschi is your place. It’s a fancy mall with a rooftop area that you can, by booking a time slot online, go up for free.

7. "Get Lost”

I’m not really someone that enjoys walking around aimlessly but if you’re gonna do that anywhere, Venice is your place. Every street and bridge and balcony is postcard worthy and there are pizza and ice cream and just generally good food places everywhere. You’re bound to stumble across at least one authentic, non wholesale mask shop whilst you’re wandering, and although there’s something vaguely creepy about a load of these blank faces staring out the shop windows at you, some of the displays are totally bewitching:

The middle display is from the shop window of the place that made the mask for Stanley Kubrick’s Eyes Wide Shut which I thought was very cool!

8. Get a boat pass and visit Murano and Burano

As I said, on our last day we bought a boat pass (€18) and visited the nearby islands of Murano and Burano, Murano being the island famed for its glass, and Burano for its rainbow houses. Burano was definitely my favourite of the two; it was a buzzing place full of charming little stalls and shops and boats, and of course, colour. Plus, we even got some close cat encounters in there! Murano was pretty but a lot quieter and seemingly more spread out. The glass shops get a bit old after a while as most of them all have the same things in and so I think finding out where you can see a glass blowing demonstration or visiting the glass museum is a good idea if you are thinking of visiting.

9. Osteria Trattoria Al Nono Risorto

This was a super affordable little restaurant with a really lovely outdoor seating area, recommended by my friend’s mum. The service wasn’t amazing (they forgot about my friend’s pizza, lol) but I had what was probably my number one spaghetti bolognese of the whole trip here, and the garden was very pretty. Finding spots to eat a proper meal in Venice that aren’t going to charge you, like, €12 for the privilege of sitting down in a nice place is hard so I would definitely recommend checking this one out.

Future Venice Bucket List:

La Biennale di Venezia

Lido di Venezia

St.Mark’s Campanile

Chiesa de San Giacomo

Gondola ride

Doge’s Palace

Punta della Dogana

Bugno Art Gallery

Palazzo Fortuny

Rome, Italy

Our final overnight destination, Rome was a lot more cosmopolitan than I expected it to be. I was so focussed on the historical side of things that I kinda forgot it’s a capital city and thus, is going to obviously be pretty commercial. Still, it’s strange to just be going down a very pedestrian street on a tram, turn to one side, and see the bloody Colosseum there. I’m not going to lie, by the time we got to Rome I wasn’t feeling my best and was physically pretty exhausted so I don’t feel like I got to appreciate it as much as I should have done; I ended up going back to our Air B&B a couple of the days, largely due to the heat. It was almost 40 fucking degrees! I was honest to god DRIPPING in sweat on the tram back at one point! But I definitely want to go back again, maybe some time when we aren’t feeling the effects of the planet withering and dying as much, and explore even more. Rome is undoubtedly a very cool place.

Rome Top Things to do:

1. Colosseum and Roman Forum

Before we went to the Colosseum and the Roman Forum, I kind of expected it to be something you looked at, went “wow, that’s cool”, and then moved on, lol, and I was low-key a bit pissed off that we were paying €20 to do so. When we did arrive, though, I was blown away by the scale of both the landmarks and how much there was to see and do there. The Roman Forum in particular went on for ages and there were signs regularly dotted about to tell you what it was you were looking at, what it used to be, and who built it, amongst other things; though I’d love to go back with a tour guide, it’s really not necessary. I can’t tell you how starstruck I was to see the foundations of a temple that Julius Caesar ordered to be built; the Romans have always been fascinating to me and I genuinely feel like I learnt SO MUCH on our visit. We booked a last minute whistle stop tour that got us in and out of both venues with allotted time slots, meaning that we couldn’t stay too long in the Forum, so I’d say if you can afford it, just go full out and buy skip the line tickets in advance. You could definitely make a day of it.

2. Fattori Ice Cream

From a really cute little independent shop near the Air B&B we were staying in, this ice cream was SO GOOD that my fussy-ass-self didn’t even mind that I’d accidentally picked a flavour with lemon in. It’s a bit out of the way but I’d say worth the journey, and there’s supposed to be a lot of good street art nearby so there’s non-food related excuses to make the detour too.

3. Vatican Museums and Basilica

Honestly, the Vatican is worth going to for the ceilings alone. Raphael’s frescos are some of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen, and if anything was going to turn me (to Christianity I mean, lol), it’d be them. I love contemporary art and on the whole find classic art to be a bit repetitive and same-y in its themes but some of the work that can be found in the Vatican is just an example of the level of passion and dedication and patience that can be found in so many pieces of the period and is something that I think modern art can occasionally lack.

4. Aventine Hill

You’d think that a spot with such a good view of the city would be absolutely mobbed but Aventine Hill is just as serene as this photo makes it look. Do-ably uphill, amazing place to watch the sunset, and heads up: I can’t think of anywhere more romantic to propose.

5. MamaEats

One of many lively restaurants in the Travestere area, I had (surprise, surprise) another glorious spaghetti bolognese here. IIRC, they also specialise in gluten free food which is very forward-thinking!

6. Travestere and Riverbank

As I mentioned, Travestere is known for its host of buzzing bars and restaurants, but one thing we didn’t know about until we got to Rome was all the stalls and activities down on the riverbank. Though it didn’t seem to be a year-round thing, there was a whole strip of amazing food places and clothes and jewellery stalls and even some kind of VR experience down there which I would definitely recommend checking out if you are in Rome for the summer months.

8. St.Paul’s Outside the Wall

A really beautiful Church both inside and outside that's lacking absolutely nothing of St.Peter’s Basilica except the queues, my protip for visiting St.Paul’s Outside the Wall is to WEAR SOMETHING COVERING YOUR KNEES AND SHOULDERS. I mean, I’d say the same thing for all of the Italian Churches, but specifically this one because they WILL force these blue sheets of tarpaulin masquerading as “ponchos” upon you and you WILL feel like a complete and utter twat. You have been warned.

9. Street Art

We didn’t quite walk far enough to get to the cluster of street art by St.Paul’s Outside the Wall, but what we did see we found easily through the StreetArtRoma app, which marks out the various murals and professional graffiti points around the city. I think a really interesting day would be to hire a bike or a scooter and use the app to explore those various clusters that are dotted all around the city.

10. Largo di Torre Argentina

The site where Julius Caesar (yep, him again) was assassinated, but also the site which is now populated by a group of very cute, and also very friendly cats. We didn’t get to go in the daytime when the actual cat sanctuary was open but when I went down the steps to get a closer look at the site one of the evenings, several of them came to say hello! No offence to any Christians out there, but if there was one point on this trip when I felt I was truly in the presence of something greater, it was here. And they were furry and adorable. With whiskers:3

11. Parthenon, Trevi Fountain, Piazza Navona

Basically, you gotta do all the big tourist spots. Yes, the Trevi fountain felt a lot like an overcrowded kids’ swimming pool, and yes, I did fear I was about to get yeeted into the fountain like a coin at some points too, but it is undeniably a very captivating sight. Along with the Parthenon, it’s a prime example of Rome not really being what I expected, because there’s no big clearing for either of them; they’re literally just slap bang in the middle of the street like they’re NBD, which is kinda wild considering they're hugely important pieces of history and architecture. Piazza Navona is very pretty too and a great place to sit down and get something to eat, even if it was just boxed pasta from one of the supermarkets round the corner in our case.

Future Rome Bucket List:

Galleria Borghese

MAXXI Museum

MACRO Museum

Cinecitta Film Studios

Galleria Nazionale d'Arte Moderna

Capitoline Museum

Milan, Italy

We only visited Milan for the day as that was where we got out flights home from but I still really enjoyed it. I went once in 2018 and I think the appeal back then was lost at me, but this time I get it: shopping, lol. There’s also a lot of art and fashion museums which are a huge part of the draw, and of course, the Galleria Vittorio Emanuelle; I think if you’re a person with *ahem* a fucking shitload of money, that’ll be enough to occupy you for at least a day or two.

Milan Top Things to do:

1. Galleria Vittorio Emanuele

The oldest shopping mall in Italy and undoubtedly the most beautiful, the Galleria Vittorio Emanuele might be the boujiest place I’ve ever stepped foot in. Sure, the shops are too intimidatingly expensive to consider even attempting to enter but they’re fun to marvel at and the general area has every typical high street store you can think of. Even the Zara in Milan looks like a fashion Haus inside! The same shop that in my local town centre resembles a jumble sale a good 50% of the time! So yeah, despite not having any money to spend and the fact that I was *supposed* to be on a shopping ban until October, I still like wandering around the area.

2. Novecento Museum

With several floors of modern art, interactive exhibitions (which you had to sign a RELEASE FORM to participate in), and an amazing view of Il Duomo upstairs, I really enjoyed the Novecento Museum. I thought it was going to a be a disappointing alternative to the Armani Museum, which was closed at the time, but it ended up being one of my favourite museums we visited on our whole trip.

3. Sforza Castle

My friend that we met up with whilst in Milan (she has a flat in the city! I’m very impressed!) took us here and we sat down in the grounds for a bit, which was a nice way to chill out for an hour or so. There was a fountain out the front that people were paddling in to cool off too and there seemed to be several exhibits going on inside the castle as well if you did want to get a bit of background.

4. Starbucks Reserve Roastery on Via Cordusio

The fanciest Starbucks I’ve ever seen in my life. Again, intimidatingly so. But if you like your coffee you will probs be in heaven.

5. Gallerie d’Italia

So me and my sister went here the last time we came to Milan and IIRC, really liked it. The modern art section was a bit sparse but the rest of the museum continued into some kind of grand old building and the usual stately home staples that I love were of course there in abundance: intricate ceilings, palatial stairways, opulent chandeliers, beautiful flower gardens, the place is basically a labyrinth of decadence and we lapped it up, lol. People being rich enough to own buildings like this? No. Them being open to the general public so we can go wild in them? Yes.

Future Milan Bucket List:

Armani Museum

Navigli

Go in the Duomo

Barcelona, Catalonia

I’ve been to Barcelona about 4 or 5 times now and aside from Paris and London, there is no other European city that compares. It’s so huge, full of character and unique beauty, and endless things to do, that I could return probably about 10 times more and still leave with an incomplete bucket list. With stunning architecture, a laid-back coastline and bustling commercial areas, it’s a city with such a consistent vibe and sense of history. The only thing they could do to make it better? Take down the Christopher Columbus monument. Because having a giant statue of a man who facilitated the genocide of a whole country full of native people is a bit...yikes. Sorry, had to drop that in there. But on the whole I adore the place.

Barcelona Top Things to do:

1. CosmoCaixa

We didn’t actually go to CosmoCaixa on this trip to Barcelona, but we went a few years ago and it’s without a doubt, the coolest science museum I’ve ever been too. There’s information in Spanish, Catalan and English so most people can probably follow the exhibitions and even if not, there’s a whole interactive area with a load of contraptions that you don’t really need to understand to be entertained by. You could definitely make a whole day of it too; we went for about 3 hours and still only scratched the surface.

2. Museu Nacional d'Art de Catalunya (MNAC)

2 things!

Firstly, this is a portrait of Colette, the French novelist, which me and my sister got really excited about because we kinda stan after watching that Kiera Knightley film!

Secondly, and probs more importantly, the modern art section of Museum Nacional d’Art de Catalunya is one of the most ingeniously laid out I’ve even seen. With the sections separated into different eras of Catalonian art, it kinda reads like a whistle stop tour of the cultural history of Barcelona, and so not only did I see so many gorgeous paintings, I got educated af! Also, the building which the museum is housed in, the Palau Nacional, is stunning. Plus, there are escalators most of the way up. Iconic.

3. Portaventura

It was my sister and I’s fourth time visiting Portaventura this year and it was as amazing an experience as ever! The park is split into different themed areas, kinda like Disney, and has everything from thrill rides to Sesame Street Land (which is low-key super fun). It has what is probably one of my favourite rides ever, Shambhala, and also randomly the best theme park food I’ve ever tasted. One thing I would say is that the accompanying park, Ferrari Land, isn’t worth the extra money as the queues are super long, and there’s only really one ride worth going on, which is basically just a replica of Stealth at Thorpe Park. Same goes for the neighbouring water park; unless you’re going to pay for express passes there, give it a miss. The lockers are €10, the queues are ridiculous, the wave pool didn’t work (not that the staff bothered to tell everyone who was just stood there waiting for an hour) and the “lazy” river is pure anarchy. Literally, kids half-drowning themselves for the lols, popping up under your rubber ring when you least expect it, and then being screamed at by their parents. I live for a bit of chaotic energy but that lazy river...

4. Visit Sitges

A small city on the coast about half an hour from Barcelona, I really cannot recommend Sitges enough. There’s a ton of cute little art museums, delicious restaurants, heavenly beaches (the waves are INSANELY GOOD! You WILL get knocked under water half a dozen times but you also get to watch it repeatedly happen to other people too and it’s great), and a fucking ridiculously hard assault course out in the sea that me and my sister tanked at, hard. There’s incredible food places everywhere but favourites are Pom D’Amour and Dino for ice cream and sweet treats, and Beach House, Big Al’s American Kitchen, and Soca for mains . There’s also a really prominent LGBT community, plus lots of bars, pubs and clubs. Honestly, if you’re going to Barcelona, I really recommend staying around here as you get away from the the majority of the tourists but can still easily get in to the city by train.

5. Walking with Gaudi at the Gaudi Exhibition Centre

A very cool, very interactive exhibition that dives into the life of Gaudi, his creative process, his projects and his influences. My sister particularly liked the replica of El Drac. Like, she for whatever reason thought it was cute. Named it. Made us walk up to Parc Guell to try and see it. Wouldn’t leave the area til she got a keychain of it. Sigh.

6. Passeig de Gracia

Down Passeig de Gracia, you can both wistfully gaze through the windows of the designer shops you pass by, and actually spend your money (too much in my case) in the high street ones. Best of both worlds, bby.

7. Casa Battlo

So it’s on Passeig de Gracia, pretty much opposite the metro station, but I had to give it its own little bit because it’s my favourite Gaudi building. Kinda looks like something aliens would build, kinda looks like something that sprang out of the ground, but that’s pretty much what Gaudi did best.

8. Park Guell

Just a warning, Park Guell is VERY uphill, and we somehow ended up getting off at the metro station right at the bottom of that hill, only to find out once we got up there that you had to book a slot and that all the slots for the rest of that day were sold out. My sister didn’t get to see her dragon and I was pissed off that I’d just nearly busted a lung open and regretted throwing my inhaler away for 20 minutes straight whilst getting up there, but it was still a pretty good view and we did get to see a bit of the park. Moral of the story though is to obviously book Park Guell before you go.

9. Sagrada Familia

We’ve never actually been in to the Sagrada Familia, again, because we’ve never thought to book it (I want to absolve myself of responsibility here since every time I’ve gone to Barcelona before this trip, I’ve been a baby and let my parents organise everything), but it is an absolutely magnificent building even from the outside. I would one day love to go in and go up the spiral staircase though, because it looks fucking terrifying and I’m one of those strange people who likes being scared every once in a while.

10. Buenas Migas

I’m pretty sure it’s a chain thing but it’s the first time I’ve ever seen a focacceria, and maybe I’m just uncultured but...I got pretty excited. That being said, my sister and I both ended up getting pizza; it was as tasty as it looks.

13. Las Ramblas and Plaza Catalunya

The most typically mediterranean looking square you’ll ever see, Plaza Catalunya is the perfect place to stop off and get some tapas whilst you’re exploring Las Ramblas.

14. Mount Tibidabo

“I was backpacking across Western Europe, I was just outside of Barcelona, hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo”...yes, I got excited to go here because of the Friends reference (I’m a basic bitch who likes friends AND has other personality traits, smd), but equally so by all the adorable old-timey fair ground rides once we did get up there. It was a few years ago now, so I’m not sure exactly how it worked but I do vaguely remember it being a bit of a rip off in that you had to pay to ride them all individually, so it’s good to know that the view from the Church and the Church itself is more than enough of a reason to go up. There’s also places to eat on the walk down and plenty of ice cream and food stalls up there.

Future Barcelona Bucket List:

Museu d'Art Contemporani de Barcelona (MACBA)

European Museum of Modern Art (MEAM)

El Jardin del Gats

Port Cable Car

Carrer de la Neu de Sant Cugat

So, that was my summer! 100% the most eventful one I’ve ever had! I’d love to go back to every one of these places, at least for a day, and am so grateful I got to have this experience. I definitely missed home a lot and maintaining your wellbeing whilst out of your comfort zone is hard, I’m not going to lie, but I hope that a year from now I’ll be feeling even more adventurous.

There are so many places in Europe I desperately want to go to, some even more so now that I’ve visited the country. Now that I’ve been to Germany, for example, I’d be really interested in seeing somewhere like Munich or Cologne, as they’re supposed to have a completely different vibe from Berlin. It also really inspired me to get back into Spanish and possibly even learn French.

I don’t know if anyone who is going inter-railing will read this but if they do, feel free to message me if you have any questions. My friend did pretty much all of the organising so I’m not the most knowledgeable person ever but I will do my very best to answer! Similarly, if anybody has any recommendations of other places to go whilst in any of these cities, food places and art museums especially (lol), let me know.

Thanks for reading!

Lauren x

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time-to-be-awesome · 4 years

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A day in the life of Amy

Thursday 14th May 2020

Note - I know this is very long and I hope it doesn’t come across as self-obsessed. I was inspired by the Refinery29 Money Diaries which I find fascinating. I love getting a real insight into other people’s lives so maybe other people will find this interesting? Even if they don’t I know I’ll be glad to have this snapshot of this time in my life to look back on later.

I am 28 years old and live in Yorkshire, England. I live on my own in a rented 1 bedroom flat. I am a mental health social worker but have been working from home during lockdown. I am currently trying to lose weight and get fitter. This is a day in my life.

7:30am Alarm goes off. I spend a couple of minutes checking the BBC coronavirus morning update whilst I wake up. Have a big glass of chilled water and take my tablets for my underactive thyroid. I get dressed into workout leggings and a baggy t-shirt, put on a hoody and a light coat. I make a coffee in my travel mug.

8:00am I set off on my morning walk. The rules were changed this week so I can now exercise outside for an unlimited amount of time, whereas I was previously having to stick to once a day for about an hour. I am very lucky to live close to a big area of interconnected woods and fields that are public access. People have been painting stones and leaving them along the side of the footpaths. There are new ones almost every day, and other people move them to make it a sort of treasure hunt. There isn’t a cloud in the sky and I feel my spirits lift immediately as I walk in the sun and drink my coffee. I listen to the birdsong and as I get to a remote patch of brambles I walk very slowly and quietly. I’m rewarded with the sight of 12 wild rabbits grazing and hopping about before they inevitably spot me and scurry away.

8:50am I get back home. I tracked the walk on the Mapmywalk app and it tells me I burnt 258 calories, but the main benefit is getting the fresh air and a positive start to my day. I make my regular breakfast – one protein weatabix with milk, low-fat greek yoghurt, a chopped banana, mixed berries, and a sprinkle of a seed mix.

9:00am I set up my work laptop on my dining table and log in. I finish eating my breakfast whilst going through my emails and making a to-do list for the day. My first task is to write up a review that I did recently with a service user. It was a very positive review, they have been building their independence and can now manage their daily life with much less involvement from carers. I phoned the care agency to check their rates and then update the support plan with the new lower weekly cost. I call the service user to let them know that the change has been made and we agree that it is time for me to end my involvement. I spend the rest of the morning writing a closing summary of all the case work I have done with them since I was allocated a year ago.

12:15pm I’m already in my workout clothes so I get out my exercise mat and use my lunch break to complete day 2 of Chloe Ting’s Summer Shred Challenge. Today there are four videos including the warm up and cool down and it takes me an hour in total. I mostly do the modified versions but even following the video I can’t begin to fathom how to do a side plank hip abduction! I take sips of water throughout and by the time I’ve finished I’ve drunk two pints. I don’t have a fitness tracker so I don’t track the calories burnt by these workouts.

1:15pm Lunch break is technically over, but working from home has to have some perks and I think a bit of flexibility on working hours is one of those. I have a quick shower and get changed into my ‘day’ leggings and baggy t-shirt. I don’t have to do any video calls so there’s no need to look professional and its comfort all the way. I make my lunch – cut up veggies with hummus, some rice crackers and a triangle of cheese. I’ve very hungry by now so eat quite quickly. Not satisfied so I also have a packet of sweet chilli multigrain wave crisps and a glass of diet cloudy lemonade.

1:35pm I log back on to my laptop. Unfortunately three of my service users have passed away from Covid-19 in the past few weeks so I email the team admin so the records can be updated with their date of death. I had spent a lot of one to one time with one of the gentleman and I feel upset and guilty that he passed away after moving to a care home that I had helped organise. I ring his son to offer my condolences and share a happy memory of the gentleman.

2:00pm I phone a placement to follow up a safeguarding referral. A service user was given an extra dose of medication, but it didn’t have any negative effect and the managers have discussed it with the staff member responsible. Determined that no further action was needed. Discussed how the placement was going in general and there were no other issues and no further role for me. I’d been due to close the case anyway so I wrote up another closing summary.

3:30pm I decide I need a snack, partly because I’m hungry but also because I want a bit of a break. I’ve been using up the food I had in the house so I don’t have many options and go for two digestive biscuits. I start typing up a mental capacity assessment that I completed over the phone. The service user in question isn’t able to make the decision themselves whether they should have home care or not. Part of the job is making the decision of what is in the person’s best interest and they don’t always agree with that. This has caused a lot of issues for this person in the past and I’m not feeling very optimistic about their situation.

4:30pm My concentration has gone out the window. I start thinking about what I’ll make for dinner. I usually make a batch of something on a Monday that’s enough for 4 or 5 portions and I just have to heat it up, but I’ve already run out of my last batch cook. I have most of the ingredients for a bean pot so make a shopping list of the other things I’ll need.

5:00pm I log off from my work laptop, switch my leggings for jeans, and head out for another walk. I want to put some space between my work day and my free time. Whilst I’m walking I phone my mum and we have a good 45 minute catch up. She hadn’t been feeling very well and said talking to me really cheered her up so I’m glad I did.

5:45pm I go to the supermarket on the way home. My closest store is a Lidl and it’s generally pretty well stocked now that everyone has stopped panic buying. I get the ingredients I need, as well as some bits for breakfasts and lunches, and I impulse bought a house plant. Total spend was £22.37. When I get back home the Mapmywalk app tells me that I burnt 338 calories.

7:00pm I put the shopping away and sat down for a second and suddenly it’s 7. I start making the bean pot following a random recipe I found online. Don’t realise until it’s too late that it calls for 50 minutes of simmering time, but that is a fairly typical move for me. Whilst I’m waiting I put some laundry away and have a general tidy up.

9:00pm Dinner is finally ready! I created it as a recipe on Myfitnesspal and it came out as 700 calories per portion. In total today I’ve eaten 1551 calories and burnt 596 through exercise. I eat my dinner whilst watching Lucy Wood’s latest youtube video. Her videos honestly feel like catching up with a friend, even if that does make me sound like an internet weirdo!

9:30pm I put on an ASMR video from TingTing ASMR. The soft whispering and trigger sounds are very relaxing and the best ones make my scalp tingle. I’d jotted down some notes about my day as I went along so I make them into this post. If I hadn’t spent so long making dinner I probably would have watched a Disney film. I’m watching the Disney Classics in order and the next one will be Sleeping Beauty.

10:30pm I’m going to put this post on tumblr then put my laptop and phone away so I don’t get too distracted. I’ll read for about 30 minutes, my current book is ‘Once upon a river’ by Dianne Setterfield. I usually end up going to sleep 11- 11:30pm, ready to do it all again tomorrow!

#a day in my life #what i eat #workout #chloe ting challenge

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aaronmaurer · 4 years

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TV I Liked In 2019

Every year I reflect on the pop culture I enjoyed and put it in some sort of order.

The era of “peak TV” has never been more apparent to me than the past year. I am very aware of the many shows I have not seen (don’t have Amazon Prime, for example), and yet I expanded my list from a top 10 to top 15 and still had to leave out A LOT of stuff I really liked! These picks include my legitimate favorites, ranging from truly important looks at the criminal justice system to ensemble comedies that I couldn’t wait to return to. In another year I may have been able to include the latest seasons of Barry, Stranger Things, Queer Eye, Bojack Horseman, Glow, or the finale seasons of Legion, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Veep, Silicon Valley and The Deuce, all of which I’d still recommend. But these stood out even more.

14 (tie). Chernobyl (HBO) / The Hot Zone (National Geographic)

Two limited series focusing on real-life disasters in the 1980s: the meltdown of the Chernobyl nuclear power plant and an Ebola outbreak outside of Washington DC. Chernobyl is an incredibly harrowing account of humanity’s inability to believe things that don’t mesh with their interpretations of reality and the destructive power of lies and cover-ups. The Hot Zone adapts the non-fiction Richard Preston book, a revealing look at pandemics, the power of fear and human resolve. Taken together, they raise interesting questions about governmental gatekeeping, professional competence and personal sacrifice.

13. Mindhunter: Season 2 (Netflix)

Joe Penhall and David Fincher’s look at the early days of the FBI’s criminal profiling department goes broader and deeper in its second season. There are still chilling interviews with incarcerated serial killers and criminal minds (including Charles Manson this time out), but the season really revolves around the Atlanta child murders. This focus provides a compelling look at who the justice system helps and who it ignores, and the investigative – and bureaucratic – work it takes to put together a case.

10 (tie). A.P. Bio: Season 2 (NBC) / The Last O.G.: Season 2 (TBS) / Schitt’s Creek: Season 5 (Pop)

Three great hangout comedies that really came into their own in their most recent seasons. A.P. Bio transcended its first-season preoccupation with revenge and leaned into its fantastic supporting cast – one of the best comedic ensembles around – to become a show I loved spending time with each week. (Thank goodness it’s coming back via NBC’s upcoming “Peacock” service.) The Last O.G. has had a lot on its mind since it began, but its second season covers privilege and the opportunity gap among other issues, ending with a note-perfect homage to Spike Lee’s Do The Right Thing, making it an unexpectedly resonant comedy. Schitt’s Creek is obviously having a moment right now, and Season 5 (the first season I watched as it aired) was perhaps its best yet. While the whole cast is great, as a big fan of Best In Show and A Mighty Wind, I love seeing Eugene Levy and Catherine O’Hara share the screen again.

9. Crashing: Season 3 (HBO)

The first two seasons of Pete Holmes’ show made my list in previous years so I’d be remiss not to include the final one, which may be its finest. Pete spends the season making a lot of mistakes – saying yes to things (gigs, relationships) that he probably shouldn’t – and although they provide growth, he doesn’t come across as the “good guy” in how he deals with all of them. This adds additional nuance to the show, questioning its straight white male protagonist’s actions rather than merely rewarding him for following his passions, while still leading to an uplifting and fitting finale.

8. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Season 4 (Netflix)

Netflix split the final season of Kimmy Schmidt into two parts, so technically only the final six episodes premiered in 2019. Those alone warrant a spot on the list, as the show concluded by following its idiosyncratic bliss to the end. The final group of episodes includes a (pre-movie) takedown of Cats, a Sliding Doors homage and an unexpectedly moving series finale. If this one fell off your radar a few years ago, it’s worth revisiting and seeing through.

7. What We Do In The Shadows: Season 1 (FX)

Based on the horror-comedy film of the same name, this series follows a different crew of vampires who live together on Staten Island. I was initially skeptical because I love the movie and couldn’t see how a television version could do anything but dilute its charms. On the contrary, the show broadens the universe in hilarious ways by introducing characters like “energy vampire” Colin Robinson and the incredible Vampiric Council (with so many incredible cameos!). The core actors are all wonderful, but the MVP has to be Matt Berry’s louche and libidinous Laszlo whose line readings are simply hysterical.

6. Les Misérables (BBC/PBS)

Although it aired in the UK in 2018, the BBC/PBS production of Victor Hugo’s epic didn’t grace American screens until early 2019 so I’m including it here. I am a big fan of the musical adaptation and find it quite successful at cramming so much story into a three-hour runtime, though it obviously has limits to how much of the source material it can explore. This (non-musical) adaptation’s six episodes allow for more of Hugo’s tale of forgiveness versus retribution to live and breathe. The terrific cast includes Dominic West as Jean Valjean and David Oyelowo as Inspector Javert, as well as Lily Collins as Fantine whose backstory is more fully realized here than the format of the stage show allows.

5. Our Planet (Netflix)

Essentially a sequel to the Planet Earth documentaries, with the same production team and David Attenborough narration, this Netflix series presents another stunning collection of nature footage that showcases the incredible diversity and beauty of animal life on Earth. Each episode includes a haunting reminder of man’s impact on the featured habitats and serves as a rallying cry in the fight against climate change.

4. The Good Place: Seasons 3-4 (NBC)

The Good Place has been high on my list since its first season and shows no signs of dropping in quality or esteem as it enters its final stretch of episodes. 2019 encompassed the end of Season 3 (including the hilariously imaginative visit to the Interdimensional Hole of Pancakes) and the beginning of Season 4 (with its crew of new characters and just as many reversals and rug-pulls as you’d expect). The final episode before its winter break was “The Answer,” a touching spotlight on William Matthew Harper’s Chidi, which might have been enough to make this list all on its own. (And given the surprise cameo/quasi-crossover in its first episode of 2020, I wouldn’t be surprised if it shows up here again next year too.)

3. Unbelievable (Netflix)

The true story of a serial rape case adapted from journalism by ProPublica, The Marshall Project and This American Life, Unbelievable is one of the most simultaneously heartbreaking and satisfying procedurals I have ever seen. As crushing as it is to watch the initial investigation completely mishandled and devolve to gaslighting, it is powerful and inspiring to watch compassionate public servants and actual good detective work be carried out as the series progresses. Kaitlyn Dever, Merritt Wever and Toni Collette are uniformly excellent here (as they also were in their respective film roles in Booksmart, Marriage Story and Knives Out this year).

2. Watchmen (HBO)

Showrunner Damon Lindelof (LOST, The Leftovers) takes some incredibly bold swings in his limited-run sequel to the groundbreaking 80s graphic novel that deconstructed the ideas of vigilantism and superheroics. Picking up in the same alternate reality as that story but in present day, the main action is shifted to Tulsa, Oklahoma, and the central theme is race relations. It could have gone way off the rails in a million different ways, but I found it to be incredibly successful. Each episode is a captivating work of art and it somehow seems to top itself with each subsequent installment. While I appreciate the book, I don’t love it; this series takes that source material seriously and, to me, completely transcends it.

1. When They See Us (Netflix)

As compelling as it is devastating, this miniseries from Ava DuVernay (who directed and co-wrote all 4 parts) dramatizes the lives of the wrongly convicted children the media dubbed “the Central Park Five.” Even with some familiarity of the story from watching Ken Burns’ documentary years ago, I was utterly gutted by the depiction of the injustices and systemic racism that stole these childhoods. Everyone in the cast shines, but Jharrel Jerome’s portrayal of Korey Wise (the only one of the group played by the same actor as a child and adult – and so convincingly) is truly phenomenal. Not a comfortable watch but an essential one.

Bonus! Musical Comedy Specials:

The Unauthorized Bash Bros. Experience (Netflix) – This “visual poem” from the Lonely Island presents “an album of raps” recorded by Jose Canseco (Andy Samberg) and Mark McGwire (Akiva Schaffer) at their steroid-fueled 80s peak with the Oakland A’s. Your likely enjoyment is probably about equal to your reaction to that description. The songs are great, catchy and hysterical on their own, but the videos take it to another level, parodying everything from 80s infomercials to Enya to Beyonce’s Lemonade. There is no 30 minutes of TV I rewatched more in 2019.

John Mulaney and the Sack Lunch Bunch (Netflix) – Debuting on Christmas Eve, this children’s television homage/parody snuck in just under the wire. The words of the day could be fear and mortality, as the group of kids Mulaney interacts with reveal their personal phobias and several skits revolve around existential angst. By the end of the first musical number I was sold, by the time David Byrne showed up I was committed, and by “Mr. Music’s” madcap finale I wished it could last forever.

#tv #television

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ironspiidey · 5 years

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Superheros get Bullied too

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Chapter 1: Peter Parker & the Bully

Read on A03

“Hey Penis!!!”

Peter rolls his eyes and sighs heavily, hearing Flash holler for him from down the hallway. ‘Nope not today Satan’ Peter says to himself as he darts down a side hallway completely not in the direction he needs to go but hoping to escape the other teens taunting for once.

“Penis!!! I’m talking to you! Can’t you hear?”

Peter hears him jogging up to catch up and seeing other students stopping and starring, Peter sighs and turns around thinking its best to just get it over with right?

“What’s up Flash?” Peter stuffs his hands in his pants pockets and looks at Flash cautiously.

The other teen swings his arm around the redhead’s shoulders and turns him around “Oh Penis. Didn’t that aunt of yours teach you any manners …” Flash looks at the direction Peter was originally headed and raises an eyebrow “Or sense of direction? Since I know we both have Chem next and that is not the way to Chem”

Peter stiffens as Flash’s arm goes around him “Maybe I just wanted to go the long way around and avoid the crowd.”

Flash rolls his eyes and pulls Peter with him, walking back in the direction they need to go to their next class “Whatever if you say so Penis. “

“I wish you wouldn’t call me that” Peter mumbles under his breath.

The other teen chuckles “Yea and I bet you wish you actually worked for Stark Industries”

Peter rolled his eyes and shrugs Flash’s arm off him. “Oh not this again. How many times do I have to tell you I’m an intern at SI so I don’t actually get paid?”

“Whatever, intern. Actually employed. It doesn’t matter, because it’s all bullshit. Out of all the kids in NY that apply for that position, there is no way in hell that the tony stark is going to choose you as an intern. “

“ Technically Peppe- I mean Ms. Potts is the one who goes through the list of applications and puts it down to a few entries and then To—Mr. Stark chooses between those. “

Flash stops in his tracks and eyes Peter suspiciously “Ms. Potts? You mean MRS Stark. Are you obsessed with him like a 14 year old girl Penis is that where this comes from?” Flash pokes Peter in the shoulder to which Peter just looks away

“Flash Stop!”

He started laughing as he stops walking “Oh my god!!! You have a crush on Tony Stark. He’s old enough to be your father Penis!”

Peter scoffs “I don’t have a crush on Stark. You’re being ridiculous and stop calling me Penis. Peter! Peter is my name okay. You’ve known me since the beginning of grade school. You’d think with that big head of yours, you would be able to remember my name!” Peter practically yells and notices more people watching them.

Flash grabs his arm “Hey! Penis that’s not okay, “

“Flash let go!!!”

Students around them stop walking and just stare as Peter tries to get his arm out of the bully’s grip.

“Your causing a scene there Parker, you should calm down.” Flash looks at him and Peter can tell he is pissed but he doesn’t even care anymore

And this is where Peter Benjamin Parker finally lost it. “CALM DOWN? YOU’RE TELLING ME TO CALM DOWN. ALL I AM IS CALM FLASH. Unlike you who feel some weird urge to pick and prod at me, call me a liar, fag and god knows what else when I’m not listening until I snap well congratulations Flash I have officially snapped. “ Peter then uses his extra Spidey strength that he usually hides to prevent suspicion and pushes Flash off him and back against the wall of lockers. “ you best leave me the fuck alone Thompson because I am done!” and without another word he stomped through the crowd of shocked onlookers and made his way to Chem.

After Peter finished Chem, There was thankfully only lunch and then AP physics today. During class Flash hadn’t said a word. Peter was fuming and wondering whether or not to call off his lab date with Mr. Stark when his phone started to buzz. Peter pulled it out and seen that it was Ned

“Hey “

“Peter omg did you really yell at flash in the hallway? Are you okay?”

Peter rolled his eyes, walking down the hall and keeping an eye out for the bully in question. Making sure he didn’t sneak up on him. “News travels fast it’s only been an hour.”

“Dude people are saying you lost your mind and was screaming at him and stuff are you okay?”

Ned always the concerned mom friend, Peter couldn’t help but smile a bit. “Ned I’m fine really. I mean I’m probably going to skip out on lab night but I’m fine I swear”

Ned gasps. “Peter you never ever skip out on Lab date night! You sure you’re okay?”

“Yes dude I’m fine!!!” Peter’s voice started to get high pitched.” I’m sorry Ned I’m just tired of the crap from Flash and I lost my cool. Meet you in the lunch quad?”

“It’s okay dude, uh about that. I’m actually going to skip lunch today and try and figure out this dumb English essay in the library”

“Oh well I’ll see you around then?” Peter tried not to sound too disappointed because he knew the reason Ned wanted to work on that essay was to be with his girlfriend Annie

“I’m sorry Peter I know you’ve been having a bad day but...”

“Ned its fine! If I get that lonely I can call Tony or something.”

“I’m sure you’d rather be talking to him anyways “

“Don’t be like that Ned, I’ll talk to you later now goo”

“Alright alright, ill text you later “

“Alright bye!” Peter smiled as he hung up the phone and stuffed his phone in his hoodie pocket. He walked down the stairs and almost made it to his locker without anyone bothering him but not quite. “Hey Parker wait up!”

Peter sighed and turned around, realizing it was just Harley he gave him a small smile “Oh hey Harley.”

“Soo not to be the reason that smile is gone off your beautiful little face…”

Peter blushes lightly, Harley is not unlike his uncle, always flirting and feeding Peter compliments “you’re ridiculous.”

“Seriously, you’re not going to like this.”

Peter looked up from opening his locker to see Harley’s guilty face and the redhead’s eyes narrowed suspiciously “You didn’t beat up flash over earlier did you?”

Harley scoffs “Oh no, the beating that little bitch deserves is not going to be delivered during school hours or on school grounds. Stark said if I got another suspension no more bike for me.”

“Ahh and we can’t mess with your precious bike project right?” Peter laughs as he takes off his big hoodie and stuffs it in his locker, grabbing his lunch.

“And that isn’t going to make it any easier.”

“What isnt?”

Harley pokes Peter’s arm where a big yellow bruise was starting, in the shape of a hand.

“Oh fuck, what am I going to tell Tony…?”

“Oh fuck is right, because the reason I’m here is because I was talking to Stark and he knows.”

Peter slammed his locker open “You fucking told him?”

Harley raises his hands palms up “Whoa there Parker, I’m not an idiot I didn’t tell him about Thompson.”

Peter sighed “Oh thank god.”

“But he does know. You see I heard about the fight and that you lost your cool so I texted him seeing if he heard from you because if Flash did beat you I know you would have called me or Stark.”

Peter nods in understanding

“Well when I texted him that, he called me. Asking why I was asking him because last he heard from you, you were saying how you were looking forward to lab time tonight and you sounded fine. And of course I turn my ass down a hallway and everybody is gossiping about it.” Harley rolls his eyes and stuffs his hands in his jeans pockets.

“And he heard it all didn’t he?” Peter says in a small voice

“Well to be specific, He heard Tommy running up to me yelling hey when we going to beat Thompson for laying a hand on parker? I’ve been waiting to beat his stupid jock ass for days.” The blonde imitates Tommy’s brutish voice.

“Oh no.” Peter sighed knowing Harley’s best friend Tommy was not one to be quiet when talking especially when it came to assholes like Flash.

“Oh yes. So now he wants to see both of us out front for our lunch break. And to bring any books will need in case we don’t come back.” Harley runs a hand through his hair slicking in back over his head. “And by we, I mean you” He adds.

“Shit, we’re so fucked.” Peter bangs his head against his locker.

“I’m real sorry Pete. “

Peter stops banging his head and turns towards Harley and sees he’s truly upset over it. “ Hey its fine, I mean as long as you can convince Tony that you’re not going to get in trouble I’m sure you’ll be fine!”

Harley smirks and grabs Peter’s sweater out of his locker “you’re probably right. Here put this back on. I don’t wanna be there when Tony goes ape over that particular bruise.”

Peter nods “I’m more concerned about what he’s going to do to Flash.”

“Oh don’t worry Mr. Thompson is never going to make that mistake ever again once we’re through with him.”

Peter and Harley whip their head around to see Tony Stark walking towards them. “Sweater. Now” Harley mumbled under his breath and stepped in front of Peter meeting the older man

Peter nodded and slipped the hoodie over his head

“Hey Mr. Stark” both boys said nervously, looking at each other and then at the man in question.

“Hello boys.”

#starker #starker fic #starker fanfiction #my work #a03 #flash is a dick #tony is done taking shit #peter is 18 #really he's like 23 with the blip #end game what end game #bring on the haters i cant wait #Gay ships are yay ships #ironspiidey writes

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good-forthe-weekend · 5 years

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Being Pissed Off: With Becca!!!

So. Boyfriend and I probably broke up over the weekend. I say probably because I am the single most extra person on the face of the earth when it comes to fighting for what I want and love and believe in, and maaaaaaaaay have [read: definitely did] sent him a text [read: novel length text block] on Monday detailing why I should have fought harder during him saying he was in a mental state of being ready to break up due to mental stress from his new job, and also why breaking up was a bullshit decision. Among other things I said. (Seriously, this thing was technically 30 text messages long. Even I thought it was a bit much when I sent it, and I’m the queen of the text message novel. I can’t summarize its thesis that concisely) And ever since I started drafting my magna carta on why we were both full of shit when we [read: he] decided to break up, I’ve been getting increasingly pissed off, and feel like sharing.

So, if you have any care as to my thoughts on the whole thing, and the interwoven relation between romance and mental illness, keep reading I guess. WARNING. THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE, EVEN BY MY STANDARDS, but worth it, I hope.

Before we get into the opinions bit, I feel like I should give you guys (the whole ass internet) a bit [read: a lot] of background.

So. Boyfriend [hereafter reffered to as Boy] and I have been dating since mid January, and have been ‘long distance’ [about 60 miles, or an hour and a half drive] since May [it’s early September now]. I’ve always been reticent to call that a true long distance relationship, because if transportation, scheduling, and housing situations were just sliiiiiiiiiightly different, we would probably see each other minimum once a week, because an hour and a half just isn’t that often realistically. But, I work second shift [4 PM to 2 AM, Wed-Sat], and Boy, who was a local college student from the time we met up until his graduation in May, has always been on the path to a normal 9-5 job. Additionally, post graduation, Boy has gone on 3 vacations. One that lasted ~2 weeks, one that lasted ~1 month, and one that was 1 week long. Between packing, recovering, job hunting, and catching up with people locally, these trips took up about 85% of his summer months. Which meant that between when he left in May and our “breakup” this past weekend [9/7], we saw each other a grand total of 3 times. For a grand total of probably 3-4 days cumulatively. Total. The whole summer.

Which is perfectly normal within a long distance relationship. But, we are not perfectly normal people, and this relationship has always been rather unique. First of all, I have pretty bad anxiety and abandonment issues, stemming from childhood issues, blah blah blah. I’m also prone to depressive episodes, but that isn’t relevant til later. Boy, in my totally unprofessional opinion, also has issues with anxiety and abandonment, and also a healthy dose of standard issue male commitment-phobia. (Or, maybe that’s not standard issue, and I just have a type. Either way.) Pile on top of that the fact that I’ve been not only his first REAL relationship (He has told me that while he’d had long relationships in the past, they were all on again/off again, and not that serious emotionally, and that he felt like I was the first person he ever had a deep emotional connection with. Which, yikes, I don’t have time to unpack all that, but I have chosen to not dig too deep into that well yet. Maybe later in this post I will.), and that this has been the longest relationship either of us has been in (Again, he’s been on/off for longer, but cumulative time. And I tend to evaluate at 6 months and break things off then), and we were a recipe for a unique situation. Yes, we trust each other, that’s never been the issue, but I think we’ve both had this idea that the other has one foot out the door of the relationship, just due to distance and scheduling. Especially because we both come from broken homes, we tend to have a lot of issues revolving around commitment, and the flaws therein, and tend to feel anxiety surrounding it.

We also moved very fast in the beginning. I’m talking we had our first date, then spent 11 out of the next 14 days together. The connection was just that easy, instant, and deep. I started staying at his place regularly about a month into our relationship. I’ve met most of his best friends, he’s met my family at length, and I’ve met both his parents briefly. We were in the process of nailing down plans for his parents and I to have dinner together. I’m sure I could come up with other ways that we jumped into things because of our feelings, but just know that had I been in my own apartment I think we’d still be playing house to this day and things would be fine. But circumstances suck, and so do I, so here we are.

I’ve also been dealing with some worker’s comp things at my job. I’ve consistently been the one in our relationship who has pointed out when his anxieties about our relationship are getting out of hand, and who has actively made plans to make things better, and to talk on the phone about us, and about his issues, and made our meetings happen. Normally, I would see this as a failure of my partner, because it goes both ways (and believe me, I would appreciate it greatly if he would be a more active participant in making plans), but I do it because his anxieties have a tendency to paralyze him, and make him think the world is going to end, and there’s no point in even trying, and I don’t hold this against him at all. And once he enters that spiral, I’ve always plucked his ass right out of it, or at least sat with him to prove that I’m not going anywhere. Granted, that got exponentially harder when I couldn’t actually physically sit with him. But still. Back to worker’s comp, the structure of how all of that works combined with the immense pain I’ve consistently been in has made me sort of lose my edges a bit. I’m more malleable, more prone to just go along with things. Less likely, and less able to be the one with a backbone about staying together even though it’s hard (and oh boy is it hard).

I should also mention that Boy only just recently started his job, which, according to him, is when the brunt of the anxieties that caused him to be in this mindset started. He now works Monday thru Friday, Usually from 8-5 (with a 1 hour lunch break in there), and that means he’s up from ~6 AM-10 PM. I, again, work Wednesday thru Saturday, 4 PM-2 AM, which puts my schedule to being up from ~1 PM-4 AM. Technically speaking, we don’t have time Wed-Fri that we can talk to each other, because of work, but I’m a terrible employee [read: fighter of capitalism] and text him on the clock. Additionally, Saturday is the only day we can really talk at length on the phone, and Sunday is the only day we can visit one another. An activity that is made harder by the fact that we are both living with our parents right now. So, if we want to spend ~quality alone time~ together, we have to get a hotel, which we can only really afford out where I live, which is less fun because there’s less to do outside of the hotel. He’s also been exposed, with this job, to a bunch of young twenty and thirty-somethings who are out living their best single bachelor life. Well, I can only assume that, because that’s what he cited when we broke up. But, if I had to guess, there are also a fair amount in relationships. Because statistics.

Boy also has this idea that he needs to be a fully fledged adult with like a mortgage and a cemented career before he can be allowed to settle down. I think this stems from his need to experience things combined with the common media portrayal of men being chronically debaucherous well into their early 30′s when they have a mortgage and are established. So, being apart so much has created this storm of him being insecure about himself and us, and me just going along with things and not planning us meeting. At all. Now, he’d been handling this pretty well up until recently, but, a couple weeks ago, coinciding with Boy’s new job, I started to notice a change in him. He started to get distant, not tell me things, not talk to me as much, and just get really weird, especially when I would talk about the future. Specifically my/our future.

You see, Boy wants to move to Chicago [the nearest city to us] (that’s a whole separate thing, but we’ll keep it at that). So do I. Have since forever. I also have been wanting to get a new job since the injury that caused my worker’s comp. The only reason I’m staying through worker’s comp (or at least until they send me onto a leave of absence) is it’s easier that way and I make good money at this warehouse. So, it’s better for me to make good money there and just keep saving until I absolutely have to get a new job, either because my case closes or they put me on LOA. Every time I would mention my job hunt, Boy would ask me where. I’d tell him I was looking near where I already live, as the cost of living is lower, and I can’t afford to move out on my own in Chicago. His face would fall a little, and I thought that was weird. It’s not like he had asked me to move in with him in Chicago, or offered to help me find roommates in Chicago. So why was he getting all like that? So, like a dumbass, I asked. I guess you could say I caused this whole thing by opening my own stupid mouth.

I texted Boy, to ask why he had gotten like that recently. We texted briefly about it, and he sounded like he wanted to break up. Not like imminently. It wasn’t an explicit break up text. But it had that vibe. And we agreed that we shouldn’t be texting about serious matters, nor should we be talking while I was at work. So, we scheduled to call on Saturday [9/7], to talk about things, and discuss them. We were also supposed to make plans to see each other on Sunday. Silly me to think it was going to be a discussion, or that we would actually be meeting on Sunday. (I’m going to try to keep the saltiness out of this because I was just as at fault for the lack of discussion, but please permit me that sentece, as I am still quite salty.)

I wrote up action plans, flush with ideas on how to make things better between us. He’d expressed a loneliness, and I recognized my hand in making him feel that way. I came up with things we could do in various places, both here, there, and everywhere in between. I don’t have a car, so I usually take the train, and I had museum free days planned, I had plans for hotels, and schedules for video chats, hell I had drafted texts to my friends to do a raunchy photo shoot (not nude, but risque, as it was something he expressed interest in before). I had plans to at least try. I wasn’t (and still am not) ready to just give up. I had started to grow back a backbone.

But then. He called. He had made up his mind before he even called me as to what he was ready to do. He opened the conversation with “So, how do you feel about taking a break?” (Answer: I think it’s a pussy way to break up, and I told him that verbatim.)

And I folded, like a deck of cards. Every bit of tenacity I’d built up in the days prior faded instantly, and I felt helpless. I didn’t want to force him into anything, and I forgot that a relationship is an open dialogue, not a one sided thing. I didn’t fight for him, and looking back I think he wanted me to. He wanted me to pull off that which I normally do: reminding him that we are fucking worth the hassle. He said that things were hard, and (and this wording is important) “[he wasn’t] able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.” That’s the wording he used time and again. Not that there wasn’t a light. Not that he didn’t think it was there. Just that he couldn’t see it.

And here starts the opinions, mixed with more explanation because I don’t know when to stop ranting.

I didn’t take note of that wording during the argument, because I immediately got lost in a storm of “wow, we fucked up royally and now we’re gonna lose someone again because there ain’t shit we can do to stop him from leaving because everyone leaves”. And yes, the run on sentence was intended. But either way, that wording, upon even minor reflection, has stuck with me. Because that wording is a cry for help. I know him, and his neuroses, and that wording, which he repeated, without change, was his way of begging me to help him see the light. He couldn’t have gotten more obvious without literally begging me. And I feel guilty for not seeing it, because I should have. He told me, almost verbatim, that he didn’t want to break up. He also said that he wants to, I don’t remember the exact wording but it was similar to try again just with different connotations, sometime in the future when things would be easier. And I accepted that. I’m not going to keep restating my guilt about letting myself be walked all over when I knew how important standing up for us was within the context of Boy’s anxieties, so just assume that whenever I accept things blindly that there’s an unhealthy dose of guilt there.

I just let it happen, and assumed that there was nothing I could say so I shouldn’t waste my breath. And I cried like a common 1950′s Disney princess for about 24-36 hours. (No shade, I love those girls. They’re just like way dramatic and usually cry about things instead of fixing them, and that’s not normally my style.)

Which isn’t to say that I don’t hold Boy at fault. I do. He also gave into his brain goblins. He knows I’m in a rough spot, and he couldn’t manage a couple of weeks of being a rock while I get back to my old self. And, while I understand how it happened, and I can’t get too pissed, that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it. He also has neglected to tell me how he’s feeling for about a month, which led to the deterioration of our relationship to the point it got. There’s more, but I don’t want this to turn into a pissed-off-at-Boy thing. Long story short: we were both full of absolute shit on Saturday, but I could only really cry about my hand in it. And OH BOY did I cry.

But then I had a come-to-jesus moment, so to speak, and here come the real opinions.

What I realized was that our ‘breakup’, while perfectly reasonable to some, was utter bullshit to me. Yes, I had every right and expectation to just accept the wishes of my SO, but I never once thought to open a dialogue about it, which is also within my rights. I’m not saying fight, I’m not saying coerce, I’m just saying talk. If he was having problems with how we were, I had every right to ask what they were, and see if I had any means of making them better. It’s what actually should have been expected, if we’re being honest. Because “Hey, things are hard, let’s break up.” is *NOT* how you end a 9 month long relationship. You talk about why things are hard. You decide whether the good outweighs the bad currently, and whether you feel you can reasonably proceed. This is, of course, assuming this is a friendlier breakup. Cheating SO’s need not compare themselves to this framework. Although.... I guess you could in a way.... NO. I don’t have time for that. Anyway.

But I didn’t open a dialogue. I let my brain goblins (long story) control my actions every bit as much as he did. And, as the more emotionally aware part of our duo, I’m ashamed because I know better. Not only is in not healthy, but that doesn’t align with who I am as a person. As I like to say, I am not the girl who just sits idly by and lets the world happen to her. I am not the girl who lets people walk all over her, and people make decisions for her. I am the pure BITCH who stands up for what she believes in. I am the one who fights til she is bruised, bloody, and broken for what and who she loves. I go to war to keep what I have earned, and who I want in my life. And I failed Boy in not being that person. And now I can’t force a dialogue open. I lost my chance, maybe forever.

It might not help that I sent a novel length text to him, offering him a week long grace period where we could pick things back up, no harm no foul. He might not appreciate it, I don’t know because he hasn’t responded yet. But I don’t care either way. First off, he would always tell me how much he loves my bluntness. How I call people out on their shit, how I speak my mind, how I always tell the complete, often ugly, truth. And I guess that message will test that love. Because I don’t think that my bluntness has ever been so pointedly focused on him. Not in this way, at this length, at least. And what can I say, if the message turned an open door with no one in front of it into a closed, deadbolted door, then it wasn’t a door I wanted open anyway. Because I need someone who not just wants but needs my fiery passion and tendency for the dramatic and lengthy exchange of dialogue. Second, it was the only thing that was ever going to open a dialogue back up, so I don’t regret it one bit.

As for the relation of romantic relationships and mental illness (which I know I promised), I’ll start with this. Brain goblins happen to everyone, mentally ill or healthy. They’re gonna happen when you’re in a relationship at some point. You’re going to be in the middle of a shitstorm and look at your partner and a brain goblin is gonna whisper in your subconscious Hey, just dumping them would be easier. Or maybe they’re going to tell you that you might as well jump ship before you get left. Or maybe they’re going to tell you that the cons of the situation you’re in aren’t outweighed by the positive things that the person brings to your life. But giving in to those thoughts isn’t the way to go. You deserve love, even if you are mentally ill. You deserve to look at something and say, Hey, yeah, things suck right now, and maybe I don’t deserve this person, maybe they don’t deserve me right now. But I love them, and WE deserve to give our love another chance.

Which isn’t to say that doing that is always the reasonable or possible choice when you’re mentally ill. Brain goblins are bound to get ahold of the control panel sometimes. Sometimes it might even be what you think you want, or what you think is best. And that has a tendency to make things reeeeaaaaally hard in a romantic relationship. Because they’re full of ups and downs, and they’re like a combo between the world’s most complex escape room (bad analogy on the surface but just wait) and a roller coaster. There are crazy ups and downs, and you are constantly having to make choices and hope that they’re the right ones and that they’re positive and healthy. And that can get overwhelming, and can make you susceptible to brain goblin takeovers, especially when your relationship is in a rough space. And brain goblins, while usually well intentioned, are often simple creatures who think more in terms of trauma and fight-or-flight than long term planning. They’re not that good at thinking in terms of “This is hard right now, but it will get better”, they think more in terms of “This is hard. This is like that one time we got really badly hurt. Let’s run away before we can get hurt again”. Actually, that’s much better grammar than brain goblins usually use. Let me know if you want a whole post about brain goblins and how I use them within the spectrum of my mental illness. I might write one anyway for shits and giggles, but I’d love to know if someone else wanted to hear about it.

I guess what I’m taking a really long time to say is this: No matter how hard it is, don’t lose yourself, because you never know how important that moment is going to be. Mental illness is a tough thing, and it’s complex and hard. But there’s still a whole you in there. And you deserve the happiness that a relationship can bring, if you choose to be in one. And it really sucks to let mental illness overtake and ruin that. But yeah, I suck at talking about overarching, general mental illness. So I don’t want to go on too much because each case is different.

So yeah. There’s my rant. Sorry it’s so long, but I had a lot to get off my chest.

#me #personal #relationships #breakup #mental illness #anxiety #depression

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imjustthemechanic · 5 years

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Glockenspiel

Part 1/? - Transmission Part 2/? - The Sandhill Hotel Part 3/? - Piccadilly Part 4/? - The Future Part 5/? - Too Late Part 6/? - The Mystery of the Missing Time Machine Part 7/? - Underway Part 8/? - The Sierra Bunker Part 9/? - Cross-Country Part 10/? - The Pit Part 11/? - Calls for Help Part 12/? - Campout and Reunion Part 13/? - Apocalypse Bunker Part 14/? - Terrible Truths Part 15/? - Library Crystals

Peggy’s first reaction was to roll her eyes – of course Howard assumed a ‘civilian contractor’ was himself. He did have a point, though. Stark Industries was the company the SSR went to, again and again, because Howard built things nobody else could… and because Peggy trusted him. The odds, on reflection, were pretty good.

“HYDRA obviously got most of the crystals back,” she observed, “because there were boxes and boxes of them in that bunker.” Not to mention the ones the supposed electricians had been using in London. “I suppose we didn’t let you keep all of them. Look up library crystals.”

Howard did, and came up with more corrupted documents. Somebody had wanted to remove every trace of the machine and its workings, and had very nearly succeeded. They had to hope Howard’s hunch was correct, because it was all they currently had.

They headed back to the hotel, since Toulouse would have to return there to pick up her luggage, but rather than waiting out front they sat down on a bench near the back hallway, where the entrance to the bunker was. Toulouse would hopefully look for them there. While they waited, Howard put some more thought into possibly locations for the library crystals.

“To extract the information from them I would have needed my own matter duplicator, or some other device,” he said. “If I didn’t want anybody finding that, I would have destroyed it, but if the crystals themselves still belonged to the SSR I would have hung on to them. You guys might have wanted them back someday.”

“Very wise,” said Peggy. “Where would you have put them?”

“It would have depended on where I was living at the time,” Howard said. “If I were still in Malibu, I bought some land on the point that I was thinking of building a house on, but the engineers told me there were caves in the rock and it wasn’t stable. I could have hidden something there. Or if I were in New York, I’d probably put it in the Mansion vault.”

“Because we both know that’s impregnable,” Peggy remarked.

“I’ve been fortifying it,” Howard informed her.

Well over three hours passed between them parting ways with Toulouse and someone coming to find them again, and when someone did, it was Kevin. “Sorry we took so long,” he said, “we tried to text you, but then we remembered you lost your phones. We figured you’d be in the hotel somewhere but we didn’t want to draw attention to you while Cass was still here, and Toulouse doesn’t want to come back in anyway.”

“That’s quite all right,” said Peggy. “How did it go?” She hoped the meal hadn’t ended in disaster.

Kevin grimaced and held up a hand, tilting it back and forth. Peggy had not seen the gesture before but it suggested a foundering ship – which already told her what the answer might be.

“Oh, dear,” she said.

They followed Kevin back out to the front of the hotel, where they found Toulouse sitting in the front seat of a car, in tears. Kevin got in the driver’s seat and Peggy and Howard climbed in the back, and then an awkward few moments went by in which the only sounds were the air conditioning and Toulouse’s sniffles.

“So what happened?” asked Peggy. How had the situation just gotten worse?

“Nothing,” whimpered Toulouse.

“It actually wasn’t that bad,” said Kevin. “Mostly I just talked about my work until Cass nearly fell asleep. He’s probably gone to tell his father Toulouse is marrying the most boring pond scum scientist in the world.”

“Then why…” Peggy began.

“I’m stressed!” Toulouse wailed. “The whole time I didn’t know whether Cass knows about the bunker and the stuff that’s in it, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it! Does he know it’s there? Did he put it there? He likes Klimt for some reason and he’s got like four Klimts down there so maybe he did! But I had to keep smiling and pretending I was interested in what Kevin was saying… you’re not boring,” she added, to Kevin, wiping her nose. “I was distracted.”

“It’s okay,” Kevin sighed. “Pond scum is an acquired taste.”

“So now it’s all done I’m just venting,” Toulouse added, and hiccupped. “You can only bottle things up for so long, you know? Then they have to come out, and this is how mine come out. Oh, god, I need a shower and I need to fix my makeup, but where are we gonna stay? I can’t go back in there! I just can’t!”

Kevin shrugged. “Last time I was in California I was giving a SETI Talks lecture on extremophiles,” he said. “They put me up at a Super 8 in Menlo Park.”

They ended up finding a Holiday Inn in a questionable-looking neighbourhood further inland. Toulouse once again expressed a hope that nobody would recognize her, and it seemed that nobody did. Her smeared makeup probably helped. Once they had a room, Toulouse took a very long shower and Kevin sat down with his computer to answer some email.

“People are gonna be wondering where I am,” he said.

“What are you telling them?” Peggy was curious. How would anyone explain this mess?

“Well, I’m definitely not going to say I’m hanging out with time traveling clones looking for a Nazi superweapon,” Kevin said. “I think I’ll say I’m dealing with a family crisis. That’s technically true, it’s just not my family.”

A few minutes later, the shower finally shut off. Another quarter of an hour passed, and Toulouse emerged, wearing a robe and with a towel wound around her hair, and flopped face-first on the bed. She looked utterly miserable.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice muffled by the comforter.

“It’s all right,” Peggy assured her. “Everybody has to break down sometimes.” Even Peggy herself, although she preferred not to let anyone see.

“It’s not that,” said Toulouse. She turned her head so she could speak more clearly. “When I went with him, I thought I was going to subtly interrogate him, like people do in movies, or like you hear about Black Widow. I would bring up the apocalypse bunker by telling him the maid asked me…” Tears spilled over in her eyes again, and she pulled the towel off her hair to bury her face in it instead. “And I thought he would tell me because he doesn’t know I’m with you guys, or at least he’d let something slip, you know? But I couldn’t do it. I was too scared. I Just let Kevin do all the talking.”

“To be fair,” Kevin said, “get me started about my work and I talk a lot.”

“So now I went through all that and I didn’t learn anything,” Toulouse sniffled. “I wanted to help but I just couldn’t.”

Peggy patted her on the back. “Honestly, I’m glad you didn’t,” she said. “It might have been very dangerous to let him suspect how much you know. But Toulouse, we need other kinds of help now.” She was starting to hate using this young woman for her money, but it wasn’t as if they had a lot of choice.

Toulouse looked up again. “What kind?” she asked.

“Well, while you were at lunch Howard and I did some digging of our own,” Peggy said. She explained that they’d gone back to the Best Buy, and what they’d learned from their searches there. As Toulouse listened, her eyes dried and she sat up and began drying her hair. Peggy half expected to see rainbows appearing on the white towel, but evidently Toulouse’s hair was colourfast.

“Good for you,” Toulouse said, managing a tear-streaked smile. “You’re getting the hang of the twenty-first century already. I’m proud.”

“We’re quick learners,” Howard assured her.

“So the missing library crystals may be in Malibu or in New York,” said Peggy. “We need to check both places. This time I think we’ll start with the closer one.” If they’d done that in the Sandhill Playa Del Rey, it would have saved them a lot of trouble.

“Oh, you don’t need to go to Malibu,” said Toulouse. She wiped her nose on the sleeve of her robe.

“Yeah,” Kevin agreed. “Malibu’s out. Your son built a house there, and a terrorist knocked it down.”

“What?” Howard’s eyes widened. “Is he okay? What happened?”

“Long story. Christmas 2013,” said Kevin. “But if you hid anything there, I’m sure he would have found it.”

“Definitely,” Toulouse agreed. She got up and went to the desk, where Kevin was sitting with his computer. “What’s the address of this mansion in New York?” she asked, reaching over his shoulder to access Google maps.

“1E 70th Street, Manhattan,” said Howard and Peggy in unison.

“That sounds familiar,” said Kevin with a frown. He typed it in, and a result came up.

“Oh!” Toulouse exclaimed. “I’ve been there! That’s the Stark Gallery – it’s an art museum!”

“It is?” asked Howard, surprised all over again.

“Absolutely,” Toulouse nodded.

Kevin selected a link. “Yeah, says it was opened sometime in the nineties, in memory of Howard and Maria Stark.”

That didn’t sound like good news to Peggy. “Then it can’t be there, either,” Peggy said. Surely somebody would have found a thing hidden in a museum.

“It still might,” Howard told her. “One of the things I did when I repaired the vault was make sure it was better hidden. I made it smaller, and I had plans to conceal the entrance. If I managed to finish that, they might not have found it, even if they renovated the entire interior.”

“They’ve got a lot of rooms that still have the original furnishings,” Toulouse said. “They might not even have done that.”

“You see?” Howard asked. “They’ve got to be there!”

“It’ll be worth checking,” Peggy decided. “Toulouse, you don’t have to keep helping us…”

“Yes, I do!” Toulouse had already moved Kevin’s chair aside, and was looking up plane tickets.

“If your family really is involved in this, then it could be particularly dangerous for you,” said Peggy. It was clear that Toulouse had already had a narrow escape during lunch with her brother, and by now HYDRA would certainly have noticed that she kept turning up where Howard and Peggy were.

“If my family is involved in this, then it’s my responsibility to do something about it,” Toulouse insisted. “Whatever they’re up to, I need to know about it! I should have known about it already!”

“They deliberately hid it from you,” Peggy reminded her. “It’s not your fault.”

“Well, I’ve been ignoring them because they ignore me,” said Toulouse. “Maybe if I hadn’t been out shopping and getting degrees and stuff, I would have noticed something was up earlier!”

Peggy really didn’t know what to say to that. Such things were always obvious in retrospect – she sometimes still lay awake at night wondering how she’d ever trusted Dr. Ivchenko. “I understand you feeling that way,” she said cautiously, “and we do appreciate your help. But Toulouse, remember what I told you. If we say something is too dangerous for you, there can’t be any argument. You need to sit it out. Promise me that.”

Toulouse bit her lip, hesitating.

“Toulouse,” said Peggy firmly. “Promise me.”

“I promise,” said Toulouse, but this time Peggy wasn’t sure she could believe her.

“How about you, Doc?” Howard asked Kevin.

“I work in Yellowstone,” said Kevin. “If there are people who are planning to blow it up underneath me, then I shouldn’t stay there. I’d rather be with the people who are trying to do something about the people trying to blow up Yellowstone. I know the geology of the region, too,” he added. “So I might even be useful.”

“Looks like we’ve got help whether we like it or not,” said Howard with a smile.

In the morning they went looking for another thrift shop, because Peggy and Howard really needed more than two outfits each. Peggy found herself a blue floral blouse with elbow-length sleeves and a high enough collar not to show any cleavage, which was a relief – full-length sleeves were very uncomfortable in the California heat. Howard, meanwhile, came out in a black shirt with a pattern of pink flamingos on it.

“If we were going back, I’d tell you to wear that just to see what Mr. Jarvis thinks,” Peggy told him.

“He’d probably throw something at me,” said Howard cheerfully.

Despite this banter, Howard was quiet on the drive to the airport, and Peggy was too. She was sure she knew what he was thinking – her joke had reminded him, as it had her, that they were unlikely to ever see Edwin Jarvis again. If he hadn’t died years ago, he would be very old now, and perhaps have lost his memory the way Peggy herself had. So would Anna, and Angie, and Jason, and Daniel, and everybody else they’d ever met. Even if they did see any of these people again, what could they possibly say to each other? It wasn’t even as if anyone had thought Peggy and Howard were dead and would be overjoyed to find they were wrong. In the minds of their friends, they’d been there all along, and now these imposters arrived out of nowhere.

“Peg?” Howard asked softly.

“Yes?”

“I don’t mean to sound like a schmuck,” he said. “But… I’m glad you stepped onto that platform with me.”

There were several things Peggy could have said in response to that. She could have told him he’d better be, because if she hadn’t he would almost certainly have been shot. She could have remarked that she wished he hadn’t felt a need to play with the bloody thing. She could have commented on his use of the word schmuck, which was not something he would normally have said unless he were rolling drunk.

But instead she just squeezed his hand. “It’s nice to be appreciated,” she said.

#fanfic #agent carter #peggy carter #howard stark

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ask-a-vetblr · 5 years

Note

Vets and nurses 1: I want to weigh in on the vet versus nurses discussion as a human doctor. Typically (though this is not always true) the doctor is salaried and the nurses are hourly (I assume this is true in the vet world too, though I am talking about the US), which also means that nurses clock out and go home and their day ends. There is documentation to do at the end of the day, follow up calls to make to patients, family, case workers, other health care professionals. Literally any

Vets and nurses 2: of the cleaning or restocking that couldn’t get done during the day. I find it interesting that your nurses don’t have scheduled breaks because it’s a legal requirement here, and even though it’s a legal requirement that I also have lunch there is so much pressure to give up my lunch, my dinner, my family time to see more. To help more. To do more. I caused a bit of a stink a few months ago because I became adamant that my lunch time no longer be taken and that I not be scheduled past the end of my already 10 hour day (my nurses work only 8 as well). I am seen as not kind or caring enough. But, the reality is, I give those 40-60 patients I see in those 10 hours so much better care than I was capable of before and that’s what matters. Nurses are so, so important and we couldn’t function without them. But there is a difference in critical job demands, responsibility, and burden of care that needs to be recognized on all sides

The Vet/Vet nurse scenario with wages has its own quirks. The vet nurses in Australia have effective representation from their professional body, because the vast majority of them are employees, so it can advocate for their rights very well. So they get higher rates for overtime, penalty rates, mandatory breaks and so on.

The veterinarian professional body represents both employee and employer, so it’s been a bit on the useless side overall for representing employed vets’ needs. We don’t get penalty rates for weekends or unsociable hours, only public holidays. And we are typically paid about $40 for a 24 hour on-call period when offering after hours services, which is abysmally low considering that you can’t drink, go to a movie with your mobile off, or be more than a short drive from the clinic for that period.

The nurses certainly get their break, but it’s not ‘scheduled’. It’s whenever there’s time. Same as mine, technically. I have my ‘break’ when there is enough quiet time.

Only, it’s nurses booking in the scheduler and if it’s very busy they will forget, because the boss doesn’t take scheduled breaks, so why would any other vet?

All I really want, and appreciate from a nurse, is their awareness of how the vets are doing as people, not just clinicians, and let us have time to eat, drink, and breathe.

I know they work hard, and I respect that too, but they sometimes have not been aware of what I’m doing in the day too.

#Anonymous

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depthanonymous · 5 years

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Thursday. December 26th Chicago O’Hare

This is a Story about how I met my Soulmate.

Growing up I always needed everyone's approval.... I needed that validation for my ego. I got picked on and bullied as a young kid. Too fat, too many freckles, stupid laugh, buck teeth, you name it.... I was too white for the Mexicans, too Mexican for the white kids... I never felt like I fit in, with anyone, even family at times. So I tried to fit in everywhere I went, I tried to impress and 1-Up everybody. I had to win, always. I had to become the best. So no one would have anything to talk about. I needed everyone to approve of me and I had no idea why.... I was doing things I didn't like, working jobs I didn't enjoy, to buy things I didn't even really want, to impress people I didn't even care about....

And then, December 26th 2013, at 8 something AM on a Thursday, I'm at Chicago O'Hare airport.... walking from one end of the airport to the other so I can grab a bite to eat while I wait 3 hours for my flight to Maryland.... and I cross paths with a walking goddess.... she's coming from the opposite end, and should be ending up at the gate I just got out of, Heading back to Omaha From Ohio... I kid you not this was some out of the movies stuff...

I originally met her my freshman year of highscool. She would always come up and eat lunch in the art room during my art class. I used to just drool over her as a freshman, (I was such a dork, had ZERO swagger of any sort) and she was this GORGEOUS girl, but she was a Junior and an amazing artist; coupled with this massive attitude. The only time I ever got the courage to go up and attempt to ask her out. She was drawing a sketch for her figure-drawing class... and I come up and go "hey what are you drawing?" Trying to flirt, and failing. she doesn't even look up at me, she just says "What does it look like?" And I shut down so fast and walked away.... that was 2009

So now, December 2013, I'm tall, (I used to be 5'3ish now I'm 6'3) I'm in better shape, better dressed, looking classy wearing a nice coat and stuff. I'm feeling good, carrying myself differently as a man. Just got the new iPhone, blasting the free version of Pandora..... and I see her. And I instantly get brought back to when I made a fool of myself.... and I'm like, screw that. I'm talking to her this time... only now, we locked eyes, movie style.... and time stops. Busiest and biggest airport in the US... and I come across her. Again. Only this time, she's actually looking back at me, and smiling.... I cut across the hall and she meets me half way. She's so damn beautiful I can't even get words to come out. Luckily she still had that good ole attitude and after a second or two says "Hey, I'm not drawing anything this time, so you're going to have to think of something good." And right then and there I'm thinking, “she remembered!? god damn I'm going to marry this girl.” Everything about her was perfect... so I laugh and now I'm back down to earth and to my confident self (freaking out internally) and I'm like, "oh really, you mean you won't shut down anything I say this time?".... she was looking at the departure screen as I said it.... and she looks at me with this shock that I just said that and then this beautiful smirk, and gives me that smile that just makes everything in me start to tingle. She looks back at me like she's thinking the exact same thing I am.... so I say, "where are you headed?" She says Omaha, asks if I still live there. I say yeah. So then I ask when her flight home is and she says not for another three hours... JUST LIKE ME. So I say “well I also have a pretty big layover, do you know where your gate is?” She says "Duh, its all pretty clearly marked." So I'm like cool, that hurt the pride a little but moving on. And I ask her "well, since we both have a few hours do you wanna grab some food and catch up." She said "Nah, I already ate....(waits silently for what felt like a year crammed into 5 seconds) but we can sit here and chill for a bit if you want." And I'm like STARVING, but I don't even care. I'm just over here mesmerized because this woman is GORGEOUS, and in my head I just keep saying don't mess this up don't mess this up don't mess this up.... so We catch up, she told me she was at Creighton, I said I was going to trade school. She made fun of me and said "Do you still drive that really loud tiny green truck." I got all offended because I did still drive it and loved it. But I get over it..... So all of the sudden hours of talking pass and we are both almost late to board.... so we run to our gates. And the whole vacation I'm just thinking about her, can't get her out of my head. Thinking about some elaborate plan to ask her out and over exaggerating a big romantic plan like always. And I get back from Vacation and get busy and don't know how to approach her to where I don't seem like a Creep....

Well, a couple months pass and around summer time. Her and and another person I went to school with are doing door to door surveys about the neighborhood. And guess who's door they come knocking at? MINE! On my only day off in the last two months... coincidence? I think not. so I come up and answer all shy and say hi to the girl I remember from school. and then see her around the corner and get this rush, I got so nervous I began to sweat a little. I could tell she was nervous too. We gather and sit down in the family room. when I look over to see if the nerves have settled. She couldn't look up at me. She was just staring at the clip board, fumbling on her words on and off as she asks questions and awkwardly chuckles as I respond in a dorky manner.... so I call my dog over even though she isn't allowed on the carpet, to help calm my nerves.... and my dog who loves me like no other, would never abaondon my command. Goes STRAIGHT to her and won't leave her alone. So now I'm all bragging about how well behaved my dog is and she totally disobeys me and goes right to her, calming her nerves and making her smile... they finish with the survey and leave. And I spend the whole day kicking myself for messing up and not asking for her number or to go for coffee or something, anything!

A few days later... SHE messages ME! I'm jumping off the walls, I'm ecstatic. She was telling me sorry for being awkward during he survey. I said likewise, then she laughed at how my dog likes her more and I'm the one that feeds her! we get to flirting and all the cheesy cliche stuff. all of the sudden she's overly straight up with me and just hits me with, "so do you even plan to ask for my number or....?" And I'm just like damn this woman is calling me out on everything. She's like "well, I don't do this Facebook messenger stuff and you're too slow at asking soooo.... can I get yo Numbah?" Just like that...

Now we get to texting and I try asking her out....it doesn't work. And I'm not used to getting rejected so wow! why does she keep shooting me down? So finally I'm like... how about this, let's go for coffee and talk art, it's NOT A DATE. Just two people talking art like a couple of hipsters.... and she goes "fine, on one condition. Don't ever use hipsters in reference to me or you ever again."

So we go on the date, that she always said wasn't a date.... and we both get there at like 4pm, and end up talking and talking for around 6 hours, until they said they were closing.... TOTALLY A DATE. I go to get the door for her and she rushes and won't let me, and says hey, it's not a date. So I smile because in my head I'm like oh you know it was a date you just tried to make excuses now that it's over.... and then before she gets in her car I tell her to look up this song. So she pulls up next to me at the stoplight and turns it up so I can hear that she actually looked it up. Then texts me saying she had a really good time getting coffee and reiterated that it was NOT a date. And then said she loved the song, and I said “good, I'll sing it to you sometime.”

Guess what we did on our second (technically first actual) date? Yup, got food and then drove around and listened to music. And did I sing the song to her, HELL YES I DID. At the top of my lungs, looking at her and everything. While driving, big hazard but I was trying to impress. And I'm about to take her home at a decent time, like 10pm... and as I'm a block away, Te Metiste by Ariel Camacho comes on and I look over at her like damn this is my song. And she goes "wanna just make another loop"... and I said “absolutely” as I start singing that to her too. Getting her to blush and smile..... our first "loop" was like 75 miles. So I got her home at like midnight.... and she posts a status saying "When he can sing👌🏼" and I'm just all pumped up like yeeeeeeaaaaahhhh, I'm Dr. Smooth, PHD in SmoothOlogy..... and then she texts me before bed. And says thanks for food and she really enjoyed the date.... and then finishes it off with another that says "don't let the status get to your head, I liked the singing but you were way too cheesy. 😏".... I knew it, I knew it all along. Since day one, she's the woman that was crafted for me by the big man upstairs, and I'm going to marry her. AND I DID!!! Absolute greatest accomplishment and decision of my life. I had her hooked and I wasn't ever going to let her go. She asked how the hell I could have wanted to marry her without knowing everything about her....And I simply said, "When you know, you know."

You want some proof that she was my soulmate? Short story: We began teaching at the same school, in my classroom during summer our first cleaning, up in a cabinet lodged into the corner was a piece of art..... it had a picture and I instantly knew it was my wife. I ran to her room on the other wing of the building and showed her. She said it was something she made in the 3rd grade, when she attended the school..... still think it’s coincidence? I have plenty more.

Not all stories have the fairytale endings. I lost my Soulmate and Best Friend to Suicide on December 18th 2016. Sometimes it’s the most beautiful people, with the most loving families, with all the accolades and best degrees money could buy. Depression is a constant war in your head, against yourself. Hug your loved ones and appreciate every single moment.

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lokibannerpool · 5 years

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Update on the Mun

so i have been lurking on here for a while, not really doing any drafts or replies. I’m not abandoning this blog and these muses, I just haven’t had the motivation lately to be active on this account. I have been active on my other blogs for the most part. you can find me on @forcedintoperfection @thevirginandthefool @worldsfastestpredator @strongestcullen @zorii-unknown and/or @brokenprincessofasgard

Now for the shitstorm that is my life right now.

If you’re basically homeless and you know it clap your hands *clap clap*

So we (by we I mean my mom, little brother and I) finally got evicted for reals like around Feburary-ish. My mom’s bright idea for temporary living was to move in with the worst person possible, her crazy ass aunt (on my grandpa’s side).

Not only was the move stressful, but living here is terrible, and most of that is because my mother’s aunt (i have disowned her so no she’s not my great aunt) is doing everything in her power to make us feel unwelcome. Before I go into details, let me point out that my brother refused to come stay here because he has never felt welcome in this house, so he’s staying with family from our grandmother’s side (still crazy, but slightly more reasonable). And although I technically still have a room there, I did not stay because they hate animals and the great aunt that lives there once told me that if she could make it up the stairs to our old apartment she’d kill my cats. Later she denied it, but yeah... that’s the kind of crazy on that side’ of the family.

I was going to take my cats and live in a hotel from paycheck to paycheck. i had done the math and i could afford 7 days from one paycheck if i literally didn’t buy anything else, and the hotel had free breakfast i didn’t have to worry about food at least if i could save some of the breakfast for lunch then probably do dinner at a family member’s house. (yeah not the best plan but for me if I’m giving up my cats to a shelter I’m giving up on life. plus hotel accepted animals and was legit cheaper than a putting them in a pet hotel which would have been 22 a night per cat... i have 5 cats and a part time job) BUT low and behold my mother pulls some strings with the aunt (only after catching me crying on eviction day because I didn’t know what to do with my babies) and suddenly I can keep the cats as long as they stay in the basement. Not ideal, but more affordable for me so I take it.

Now back to the hell house I’m trapped in.

1) It took a while to move everything in, but I think we were almost full settled in by a Friday or Saturday night. On the Monday (which was like day 3 of living there) my mother’s aunt not only called me repeatedly on my phone, she kept yelling my name from the first floor. When I finally become conscious enough to go see what she wants, she is telling me that I sleep too much, It’s ridiculous how much I sleep, I need to go get a job, I’m not going to sleep my life away in HER house, yada yada, then she goes on about how by my age she was living on her own and paying off her own car (both were confirmed to be lies by sources that were alive at that time. crazy bitch was still sleeping in the bed with her mother at 22).. Now maybe you think that’s not so bad? but I forgot to mention one little detail.

It was only 8:10 AM and I had class at 10 am.

My alarm clock was literally set to go off 20 minutes from that time. Not only was it early as fuck, but I had a class to go to so it wasn’t like i was going to be staying in the house all day. SHE KNEW I HAD CLASS, THAT WAS WHAT PISSED ME OFF THE MOST. I had literally been discussing my classes with her for weeks prior to even moving in with her. Another thing that interested me was how she conveniently waited until my mother had left to start harassing me. anyway, so i get dressed because im mad as hell by this point, and i get ready to leave in under 15 minutes so we’re around 8:30am by this point. When I get downstairs she is demanding that I come into her room, and against my better judgement I do but I’m in no mood to talk. She takes one look at my face and asks me “why are you pissed off?” As if she didn’t know why. I don’t want to curse her out because I wasn’t raised to do things like that so i keep my mouth shut. She keeps trying to get me to talk, and at this point angry tears that I have been trying so hard to hold back are falling and she tells me I’m being dramatic and I’m over reacting. I tell her I have to go to class more than once and she’s still demanding that I sit and talk with her, so I just walk out. She calls my phone more than once but I don’t answer because I am a) driving and b) still mad as hell. she leaves voicemails. 1 saying that im being overreacting and stuff. the second comes a few hours later with a fake apology after she apparently talked to my mother. I later find out that she lied to my mom and told her that she forgot I had school, yet when I was not trying to talk to her she was telling me i had 2 hours before i had to be in class.. so yeah and that was only the start of day 3 of living there.

2) Fast forward a few days because in this family, we apparently just go on like nothing happened after conflicts like this. My mom comes to me in the morning and warns me that the aunt had threatened to call the human society to take my cats away because I ‘don’t spend enough time with them’. Which pissed off my mom as much as me because she’s seen what I’ve done for these cats in the past 2 years. (especially with Brenda, who is a rescue stray I took in after she was covered in tape by strangers and either dropped at our door or she limped her way up the stairs to us for help, and the two litters of kittens she had in our apartment)

The aunt confronts me about this after I come down to feed them by asking me “do you really want the cats” and then telling me not to get an attitude when I say “of course I do” rather defensively. She tells me the b.s. she told my mom to which i point out that we literally just got here, i have classes 5 days a week and work 7 days a week. Plus, she’s usually sleep when I come in after work so she doesn’t see me dragging my aching body (still sore from doing the brunt of the moving) down to the basement to replace the food and water and spend time with them before I go to bed and I would literally be sleeping down there if it wasn’t for my mom nagging me about my health (which tbh comes second to the cats in my opinion but she disagrees). She doesn’t seem all that convinced, and my anxiety was through the roof for the longest because i wasn’t sure if i was going to come back to a cat-less basement after work.

My therapist has been having an earful btw. Literally the week before I knew we were being evicted I spent most of a session trying to find something to talk to her about and now I have at least one new problem ever week.

3) This woman has no respect for me or my mother. She’s verbally attacked my mother and berated her more than once. (today included) and at one point accused my mom of using her father for money(who died only 2 years prior, and who is the only one who took responsibility for making all the funeral arrangements and is still struggling to pay that bill because no one else wanted to help). This is sidetracking a little, but my mom did a lot for my grandfather. Brought his medical supplies with a loan she had taken out from her job, literally came to wash him up multiple times because his in house nurse wasn’t doing it, and pretty much ran every errand he asked for her and if she couldn’t do it she had me do it for her... so yeah to say she was using him was really fucked up and it really hurt my mom.

3.5) One morning (last week) i literally caught her and her ‘tenant’ (aka her brother’s ex girlfriend who he left for his wife 2 years ago and refuses to leave his family’s home) talking shit about me and my mom. How we’re dirty, my mom walks too loud, complaining about us having mini conversations late at night (which only happened once), calling my mom fat, and saying that she’s not ‘dainty’ and ‘feminine’ enough and they don’t know how she kept a man for so long... really just talking trash while im standing at the top of the stairs listening. I wait until they finish to say anything and they’re not even ashamed or apologetic. The aunt literally says “good. now you can tell your mom what i said” after i said i heard just about all of it. She seemed offended when I refused to be her messenger. She then tried to talk shit about my mom to me, going as far to tell me that my mother a ‘fat slob’. And because I don’t want to be kicked out before we find a place, I have to bite my tongue and just walk away while she purposely baits me and tells me to ‘speak my mind’.

There is so much more I could write about, like how she (a woman who has never had a cat in her life) is always telling me how to take care of my cats like I don’t know what I’m doing, yet she’s basing this all off the dog she had (but didn’t really want or take care of) over 10 years ago. Or how she likes to try to provoke me or my mom (but mostly me because I’m the easier target I guess) whenever she’s bored. The fact that she forced cable boxes on us, then demanded my mom pay her $400 for the installation of the cable despite us both making it very clear we didn’t want it. How she’s always trying to say someone is trying to use her as if my mom isn’t paying $800 a month for two little ass rooms and a bathroom/kitchen we have to share with two other people And sooo much more.

I’ve ended up self harming for the first time in about two-ish years while staying here. My suicidal thoughts are happening very often and honestly I’ve turned to drinking my feelings away when I’m not cutting them away. I’ve literally been so stressed that my period disappeared for like 3 months (no im not pregnant. gotta be sexually active to get pregnant so yes its stress) and I’m pretty sure I’m developing some sort of repressed anger issues that I should probably mention to my therapist but I keep forgetting.

So that’s pretty much what’s been going on in my life lately.

And I don’t know how to end this so... there

#ooc #mun problems #mun rant #negativity tw #suicide tw #self harm tw #alcohol tw

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bastardnev · 6 years

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That Guy Next Door -- Ch. 13

how in the hell are we already up to chapter 13, that was fuckin Fast

tagging: @tylerblacks @joonhobi @rivela @aliciasfox @sailor-slam-dunk @kidvoodoo @smolsammichu @simulated-heat @douglas-leon-michael @1dluver13xx (lemme kno if you wanna be added to my taglist!!)

Prev.: Ch. 1 ♡ Ch. 2 ♡ Ch. 3 ♡ Ch. 4 ♡ Ch. 5 ♡ Ch. 6 ♡ Ch. 7 ♡ Ch. 8 ♡ Ch. 9 ♡ Ch. 10 ♡ Ch. 11 ♡ Ch. 12 ♡

As April rolled around, Neville was reminded of the phrase ‘April showers bring May flowers.’

Well, considering the sheer amount of rain we’re getting, we’re gonna get a shitload of flowers come next month.

“Damn, it’s coming down in buckets. Better starting building the ark,” Wade noted as he watched the rain fall, forehead pressed against the glass of the window. “Because I’m pretty sure we’re gonna need it soon.”

“That’s a terrible idea,” Neville replied, typing an e-mail and not looking up from his laptop screen. “You know damn well I’m throwing your ass overboard the first chance I get.”

“Oh, you wanna see me wet?”

“Do I have to remind you that I’m not a single man anymore, Wade? Take a look out the window in the hallway, since you’re so big on looking outside all of a sudden. You’ll see the home of the person I’m currently with.”

“Do you think he wants to see me wet?” This comment was able to get Neville to look up, and he peered at Wade from over his glasses, frowning.

“I’ll make a note to ask him that the next time we’re together.” He remembered how Mustafa was asking about Wade on their very first date -- knowing him, he probably would want to see him soaking wet. Summertime around here should be interesting.

Neville sent the e-mail and put his laptop down on the coffee table, sighing as he checked the time. He technically should be able to take his lunch break right about now, but knowing his luck some ‘important’ message from his boss could come through at any moment, and he’d miss his chance to have an hour to relax. This had happened far too many times for Neville’s liking, especially lately -- when did they get so damn busy?

He felt Wade sit down on the couch next to him. “Why don’t you just take a break?” He heard him ask. “I can tell you want to.”

“Meh, I dunno if I should risk it.” Neville clicked his tongue. “Someone might need me for something. Don’t wanna keep ‘em waiting if it’s important.”

“Are you ever asked to do anything important? Be honest with me.”

“Of course I am. Just… not really all that often. That doesn’t mean I can start slacking off, though.”

“It’s not slacking off if you’re taking the break you’re entitled to.” Wade looked like he wanted to say a little more, but Neville’s phone went off, interrupting him.

“That’s probably Moose,” Neville said as he grabbed it off of the table, ignoring Wade’s “It’s always Moose...” and reading the message. Sure enough, it was Mustafa confirming their date for the following day -- a walk in the park. Neville had been dying to take one ever since the weather started to get warmer, and they scheduled some time together on the one day it was actually supposed to be decent.

“You know they’re saying it’s gonna rain tomorrow, right?” Neville noticed then that Wade -- now apparently in the mood to burst his bubble -- had been reading Mustafa’s message over his shoulder, and he turned the screen off, scowling at him. “Just sayin’.”

“I’m aware. That’s not until later in the day, though,” he pointed out. “And it’s only supposed to be a ten percent chance, anyway.”

“Is it? Because I thought I read it was a greater chance than that.”

“You probably misread it. I’m absolutely positive the chances were fairly slim. I heard it on the news just this morning.”

“If you say so… Still, you should probably bring an umbrella just in case.”

Neville scoffed. “What, and carry it all around the park with me just because you had a hunch? Come on, Wade, the forecasters have been saying that it should be a lovely day for the whole week now. We’ll be fine.”

Neville’s comment about how everything would be fine was ringing in his ears as he and Mustafa were suddenly caught in a downpour of rain right in the middle of their walk.

“Why is it that the one time I refuse to listen to Wade, he’s actually right?” Neville grumbled, wrapping his arms around himself and shivering as the air grew cooler. The sun was out only a few moments ago -- how had everything changed so quickly?

He heard the sound of an umbrella opening, and he looked up to see that the one Mustafa had brought (that Neville initially teased him for bringing) was over his head. “What was that about me being silly for bringing this along with me, again?” Mustafa asked. Neville didn’t respond, instead opting to pout and look out to the lake. “Hmm?”

“I was wrong…” He muttered, a moment later feeling Mustafa’s lips on his cheek.

“Yes, you were.” He took Neville’s hand, giving it a squeeze. “Let’s not stick around here. We’ve got a bit of a distance to go until we reach the car.”

“Wish our date didn’t get cut short…”

“Who said anything about it being over? We’re still together. Not like we’re gonna melt or anything.”

Neville didn’t protest any further, and he walked side by side with Mustafa, sticking close and trying not to get wet. As much as he disliked the rain, he had to admit that there was something incredibly peaceful about this whole scene. Anyone else who had been there had fled, leaving only the two of them. Mustafa was also warm, his hand soft, the chilly temperature that came along with the weather becoming a complete non-issue. If anything, this sudden storm made everything better.

That is, until it started coming down even harder, to the point where they couldn’t even stand to be out in it. Mustafa’s umbrella was proving to be inadequate protection, and they chose to take shelter under a nearby gazebo until the rain stopped. “Ugh, this seat’s all wet…” Neville huffed, feeling the chair.

“Come sit next to me, these aren’t too bad.” Mustafa patted the one next to him, and Neville hesitantly sat down, sure enough feeling the seat of his pants get wet. It could have been a lot worse, though, so Neville kept any complaints to himself.

“I swear I read that it wasn’t supposed to be like this until later,” he chose to say instead. “I can probably find the report on my phone if you need me to -- I am not lying when I say that they predicted it would be sunny.”

“Hey, I never said I didn’t believe you.” Mustafa put an arm around his shoulders. “Just that a ten percent chance is still a ten percent chance. You never know when something like this could happen.”

“Hmm…” In the distance, Neville could make out another couple running to find some form of shelter, and he cracked a smile. As much as he teased Mustafa for being prepared for this weather, he was grateful that he didn’t end up like those two.

“Duck.”

“What?” Nothing needed to be dodged -- what was Mustafa talking about?

“Duckie.” He pointed towards the lake, and Neville followed his gaze to find a mother duck along with some ducklings -- four of them. They were making their way across the wet grass, not a care in the world, clearly unbothered by this downpour.

“God, I wish the girls were here to see this,” Neville said as he took out his phone, taking a picture of this little family. “They love ducks.” Not too far away, Neville spotted another duck, this one a little bit bigger than the mother, standing not too far off, watching the others go by and enter and the lake one by one.

“Look at that one back there.” Mustafa had apparently noticed this bigger duck as well. This duck had now shifted its gaze from the other ducks to Neville, and it stared him down, making him feel slightly nervous.

“It’s giving me an evil look…” Neville shuddered, though he stared right back at it, wanting to assert dominance. This was a matter of pride now -- he was not about to lose to a bird in a staring contest.

“I wonder if that’s the daddy. He probably wants to protect the li’l ones.”

Mustafa’s words triggered a memory in Neville’s mind, and his eyebrows raised when he recalled what had happened only a few weeks prior -- Daisy referring to Mustafa as her daddy.

Neville had been meaning to ask Mustafa for his thoughts on it since it had happened, but he was never able to find an appropriate opportunity. Part of him wondered if it was worth it to mention it again, seeing as Mustafa hadn’t even said anything about it on the day that it happened, but he still felt like it was important to talk about. It wasn’t as if she’d just referred to him as a cute new nickname -- she had legitimately referred to another man as her father.

Does Mustafa ever seriously see himself in that role?

For the sake of their potential future together, Neville needed to find out.

“If that is the dad, he’s got a lot of little mouths to feed,” Mustafa continued, still staring at the duck family while Neville took a moment to figure out the words he was going to use.

Finally, he made up his mind. “Uh… Hey…” Neville cleared his throat. “Seeing that daddy duck kinda reminded me of something…”

“What’s that?”

Neville attempted to speak, but the daddy duck quacked loudly, interrupting him. Neville glowered as he realized that he’d technically lost the staring contest, but by the time he looked back at the duck it had already started swimming in the lake. The rematch would have to take place another day.

“Did seeing that duck remind you that you’re terrible at staring contests or something?”

“What? No.” Neville shook his head. After a beat, he asked, “Do you remember what happened the last time you picked the kids up and watched them for me? When you were playing video games together.”

“Oh, of course I do.” Mustafa looked almost a little cocky. “How could I forget beating both Jen and you in the same night?”

“That isn’t the part I was hoping you’d remember…” Neville pouted.

“If you want a rematch, all you gotta do is ask, Luigi.”

“I will, one of these days. And when that happens, I will beat you. And fuckin’ Toad, too.”

At that, Mustafa gasped. “Neville! The baby ducks!”

“What? What about them?” Neville turned around and looked towards the lake, but the ducklings were just swimming happily, not in any kind of danger. Neville looked back at Mustafa and shot him a confused look.

“Your language… It’s disgraceful… Think of the children next time.”

“I’m about ten seconds away from running out into the rain and leaving your ass here.”

Now that they’d gotten that out of the way, Neville decided that it was time to get back on topic, saying, “I was talking about what happened after you beat Jen. When Daisy called you ‘daddy’.”

Mustafa’s expression changed to one that was a little difficult to read. He didn’t look bothered by the subject at all, but he also didn’t seem to expect it. “Right, that,” he replied, tongue gliding over his lower lip. “I was wondering if you’d heard that or not.”

“I did. I’d actually just gotten home when she said it.” He paused. “I wanted to know what you thought about the whole thing.”

“Well…” He shrugged. “I definitely didn’t think she’d say that. Especially since you and I have only been together for seven months. Damn, can you believe it’s been that long already? It went so fast. It feels like I’ve known you for ages.”

“Same here. I honestly can’t even remember what my life was like before you moved in. Definitely very boring. You always keep me on my toes.”

“Never know what to expect with me.” He booped Neville’s nose.

“I dunno if that’s a good thing or not.” After a beat, Neville said, “If you don’t have an answer right now, then that’s okay, but I gotta know ...Do you see yourself as being her father? And Jen’s, too.”

Mustafa clicked his tongue, folding his hands together and looking down at them. He was silent for a moment before he finally said, “I mean… I’m not entirely sure. Again, it hasn’t even been a year since we got together. I’m still kinda in shock that one of your kids sees me as being her parent after such a short amount of time.”

“If you’ll allow me to speculate for a bit, I think Daisy might miss having another parental figure in her life,” Neville theorized. “Like, she doesn’t have any many memories of her as Jen does, but she definitely remembers what it was like having a mother. I think she misses having a second person that she could see as a parent.” He put his hand over Mustafa’s. “And I think she’s starting to look at you that way.”

“Wow, I’m…” Mustafa laughed softly. “I’m honored.”

“So, let me put it this way -- do you even want kids, period?”

“I… yeah, I do,” he admitted with a small smile. “When I was younger I didn’t think I’d be dad material, but… the older I got, the more I thought about it. And ever since I got this teaching job, I’ve been thinking about becoming a dad a lot more often. It’s something I definitely want, even though I know it’s a lot of work dealing with young kids.”

“Oh, yeah…” Neville heaved a sigh. Jen and Daisy were handfuls when they were small. “But my girls are good kids. They’re no trouble.”

“No, not at all. That’s why I like watching them so much -- I feel like if I were to ever have kids of my own, I’d want them to be around their ages.” Mustafa propped his head up with his hand, resting his elbow on the table. “Uh, by any chance, was it the same for you? Like, did you always want kids?”

“I did, but mostly because of my parents. As a kid, they always kinda drilled this mindset into me for how my life was supposed to be. Go to college, find a girl, graduate, get married, have kids… I felt like that’s how my life had to turn out, so I knew I was going to become a dad eventually.” He looked out to the rain again. Now that he thought about it, this mindset was responsible for him getting married so soon after college -- before he’d really had a chance to look into his sexuality. “And, well, now I’m a dad. And I’ve been one for ten years.”

“And you’re a great one, at that.” Mustafa gave him a little nudge. “Your girls are lucky to have you.”

“Heh, I try.”

They listened to the sound of the rain tapping against the roof of the gazebo for a couple of minutes. Neville was processing everything that Mustafa had told him. He did want to be a dad, and he was unbothered by Daisy referring to him as such. The only question that hadn’t been answered was the one he initially asked -- if he considers himself to actually be her and Jen’s father. Had it gone unanswered because Mustafa genuinely didn’t have a response, or because he wasn’t comfortable with answering it?

Neville didn’t have to wonder for much longer, however, as Mustafa answered his question. “About the thing you asked me earlier,” he began, snapping Neville out of his thoughts, “I know they’re not my kids, but in a way I do sorta see them like that.”

“Do you?” Neville couldn’t help but smile at that.

“And I know that technically if we, y’know…” He smiled back at him. “...ever get married, I won’t be their real father. But that won’t stop me from raising them as if they were my own children.”

Neville’s smile grew even wider, and he wrapped his arms around Mustafa, saying, “You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that,” before pulling him in for a kiss. He had been so worried that this conversation would end on a poor note -- he felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

This tender moment was then interrupted by a loud crack of thunder, and they both jumped back, eyes wide. “I… think we should probably get out of here,” Mustafa suggested with a nervous laugh.

“And go out into a damn thunderstorm?” Though Neville acted like he thought the idea was ridiculous, he continued with, “I think we should too. Before this gets any worse. I don’t want to get stranded out here with you -- no offense.”

“I have never in my life been more offended.”

With that, Mustafa opened the umbrella back up, the two of them charging back into the rain and hustling towards where the car was parked. “Don’t run so fast, you’re leaving me behind!!” Neville yelled over the sound of the storm that was now pelting him. Since when was Mustafa able to run like that?!

Despite the fact that Neville was now even wetter than he was before, however, he couldn’t bring himself to be annoyed. As a matter of fact, he was actually excited -- excited that he’d found someone like Mustafa in the first place. Excited for his children who finally had another parent of sorts in their lives.

Excited for whatever their future held. (Hopefully not any more rainy park walks.)

#mustafa ali #neville #adrian neville #long post #mustafa x neville #wwe fanfiction #jess.txt

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