#and that creepy fucking owl from the library

[journeysfable]

People seem to think that Gem is very sweet cute and cottagecorey. And thats part of the reason I kinda dislike the deer headcanon. Cause deer are prey animals and yea they can fight back but they fight for either for breeding rights or for defense.

Gem is a predator. She craves murder. Which is part of the reason I simultaneously like deer Gem, cause there's an uncanny valley vibe there.

And Gem seems to nail eerie stories in my opinion. Things that seem perfect and peaceful at first glance but theres a darkness hidden beneath.

Her palace on Hermitcraft is implied to be alive. There's a creepy basement and a library strategically placed to drown out the sound of the monsters falling to their death.

Gem's character is also an otherworldly being that's like...She's like The Collector from The Owl House. I think it was implied she doesn't understand that not everything is a game. She was forced out of Empires by will o wisp but I don't remember her last ep very well

And now in Secret Life she's constantly bringing death everywhere and lets herself drown in a need to kill

Can people start talking about how fucking spooky Gem is sometimes

#geminitay #mcyt #hermitcraft #empires smp #trafficblr

[jodjuya]

Animorphs #36 - The Mutation

Jesus fuck, what a rambling pointless fever dream. This book was a Doctor Who episode wearing the flayed skin of an Animorphs book as a mask.

Animorphs versus Atlantis. 🙄

Inbred mutant human fish-people 🙄🙄

who use radioactive minerals as lightbulbs 🙄🙄🙄

and run internal combustion engines in their airtight enclosed underwater city. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Can speak at least 5 human languages flawlessly, and presumably more. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Dissection and taxidermy of drowned human sailors, posed in a museum of life-size dioramas in order to study the ways of "The Surface-Dwellers" 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Dissection and taxidermy of Hork-Bajir Controllers, posed in a life-size diorama onboard the yeerks battle submarine 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

And this Hork-Bajir diorama is in spite the fish-people's stated-outright goal of repairing the submarine's damage and using it to wage war against "The Surface-Dwellers" (how tf you are going to do any of that shit with a bunch of Hork-Bajir corpses at every station of the submarine's bridge is utterly beyond me) 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Visser Three morphing into Magmar from Pokémon 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

The fish-people mutants are so catastrophically inbred that they're literally going extinct because their fertility has irrevocably crashed and burned. Their solution to this is abducting "Surface-Dwellers" as fresh breeding stock to inject some amount of genetic diversity into their population. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

and/or they "process" the internal organs of drowned sailors to extract their DNA, which they then magically splice into their own genome somehow 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

The Animorphs discover this thanks to being detained in the fish-people's library, which has hundreds of years worth of METICULOUSLY documented genealogies 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Which Ax can somehow magically read, comprehend, and analyse after a few minutes of flipping through some of the library's tomes (thank god there's an Autism Alien on the team or they never would have figured out this completely dumbassed plot thread) 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

The fish-people can successfully interbreed with "The Surface-Dwellers" (or otherwise somehow do their DNA-splicing shenanigans) but the resultant demi-fish-people aren't a solution to their population crash, as interbreeding causes the fish-people to lose their species' specialised adaptations for living underwater: webbed fingers and toes, drastically oversized eyes, and motherfucking goddamn GILLS somehow 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

So because this didn't fix their problem, plan B of the fish people is to take the yeerks combat submarine (which can also fly 🙄, turn invisible 🙄🙄, and cause its echolocation/sonar profile to appear as though it was a very large humpback whale rather than an alien spaceship 🙄🙄🙄), and use this to wage a war of conquest against "The Surface-Dwellers", backed up by their highly limited arsenal of human weapons looted from sunken human ships and submarines (including, Marco presumes, the nukes from at least one Russian submarine) 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

(how and why the fish-people think a war of conquest would fix any of their shit in any way whatsoever is not explained)

The fish-people are fully amphibious and don't cope well with being out of the water, yet on the other hand they have built their little city on 'land' (in the air bubble of their underwater cave kingdom) and are happily living their little lives out of water to some degree or another 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

The Animorphs discover the creepy museum of human-taxidermy dioramas, morph into owls to scope out the fish-people city, get captured by the fish-people the instant they demorph, and are then invited to a banquet hosted by the queen of the fish-people so that she can monologue exposition at them 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Also, the Yeerk submarine can fire its Dracon beam weapons underwater, despite it being previously established that the weapon technology they stole from the Andalites (Shredder beam) was originally designed to be fired in the vacuum of space, and that firing in atmosphere can cause a catastrophic blowback effect proportional to the atmosphere's density. Presumably they've successfully developed adaptations to mitigate that blowback effect for usage in atmosphere, but under water?! 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

The ghostwriting squad really fumbled the shit out of this one. Disaster of a book (derogatory)

#blogging #animorphs #for real - the pokémon Magmar in all but name

[citydreamgrls]

a simple favour - part one

fred weasley x fem!reader 

summary: it was all in her best interests, fred never meant to catch feelings for her. it had started as a simple favour.

words: 3,371

warnings: swearing , tw: stalking / stalker , smut in later parts (18+)

find part two here

It had started off out of the blue one morning, a letter waiting for me in the great hall when I came down for breakfast. I had been fixing my hair when multiple heads turned towards me, I frowned as I sat down.

“What?”

Hermione held a letter in her hand, passing it over to me with a weirded out look on her face. I shrugged, recognising my name on the front but not the hand it was written in.

I laughed to myself as my eyes scanned over each carefully thought out word, describing my appearance and how ‘entrancing’ I was. Whoever had intended this letter for me was confessing their feelings in an oddly poetic and creepy way, my only conclusion being that it had to be one of the others playing a trick on me.

“Very funny guys, which one of you wrote this? I can’t recognise the writing.” I threw the parchment down carelessly, letting expectant eyes read over it as Ron grabbed it for himself.

“Doesn’t it say?” Hermione asked me, trying to read it over Harry’s head. “It was already here when we came down.”

“Yeah… this isn’t any of us.” Ron scoffed.

“I think you have a secret admirer y/n.” Harry added, handing it back to me.

I squinted, drinking some of my coffee and eyeing up their faces, expecting one of them to snap and laugh. But all I got was stone cold confusion from each of them. If only the letters had stopped there, then I may not have minded. Little did I know, it would only get worse.

-

The letters came every single day, sometimes multiple times. What once was harmless words of my beauty and desire turned sinister, now whoever was writing also seemed to know my whereabouts every day. He would depict times when I thought I had been alone, or claim he’d watched me go for my morning shower. My every move was documented, all with a perfect description of what I had been wearing even days after it had happened. The most disgusting part was the anonymity, the knowledge that this person was getting away with being a massive pervert and torturing me with it day in and day out. Whoever was obsessed with me was keeping it a secret and successfully stalking me from the sidelines.

The day that I found flowers on my bed I screamed like I’d been stabbed, making Ron and Harry quickly race up to the dorm thinking that I’d been attacked. Both of them had cringed at ‘gift’ with the realisation that he’d been in my room, sat on my bed and possibly done worse.

“Make sure nothing’s been taken.” Ron had said grimly, making me shudder at the fear that they could have something of mine.

“Jesus what a creep.” I’d whispered, stomping over to the bed and throwing the flowers out the window with a furious shout.

Since that day Hermione tried putting a curse on the bedroom door, meaning that only those who knew the counter-curse could enter, and those who didn’t would be blown all the way back down to the common room. Poor Ron had ended up being the test subject, which he wasn’t happy about in the slightest, but we had to make sure it worked somehow.

However, even that didn’t work. The letters kept arriving as usual, and the gifts would still appear neatly in my room every day. Not that it stopped me from discarding them in the most public way possible. My anger was growing by the second and throwing them away didn’t feel finite enough, so one night after watching the boy’s quidditch practice when Hermione and I found a teddy bear on my pillow I finally lost my cool.

I could hear voices in the common room, but that didn’t stop me. With the bear in one hand I stormed down, pushed past the small crowd of people laughing and chatting, and threw it into the fire with a grunt. They all fell into silence, Hermione catching up just in time to see its fur crackle away.

I sighed in relief, it felt good to watch the flames engulf around it. Whispers started up from behind me as my friend came over, her hand holding mine gently as we both just stood there. The bear's eyes began to melt, the plastic dripping down its face.

“Come on,” She murmured, taking me back upstairs where I screamed about how horrifying it all was and whether this ‘sick fuck’ thought he was being genuinely romantic.

-

“Who do you think it could be?” Hermione asked me the next night, as I ripped up yet another letter. The sight of my own owl was beginning to instil fear within me.

“At first I thought it could’ve been the twins, but even they’re finding this too much.”

Fred and George knew pretty much everything about everyone at Hogwarts, but when Ron had shown them the extent of this person’s doing, they too drew up a blank, mentioning how weird all of it was.

“They’re not like that,”

“This isn’t a harmless prank anymore is it?” I asked the girl, who wanted desperately to help me solve this twisted mystery.

“I don’t think it ever was,” She hummed to herself, sighing in defeat at the knowledge that the letter I was destroying was in no means the last of its kind.

-

It quickly became common knowledge that I had a stalker after my meltdown in the common room. Professor Mcconagall even offered to help, but there wasn’t much she could do without knowing who it was. Honestly I was weirdly glad she couldn’t, all this frustration had made me determined to deal with the fucker myself.

Hermione didn’t let me go anywhere by myself anymore, with the fear that the creep could pounce while I was without one of them. Most of the time it was fine, I had classes with at least one of them at all times and we had meals together as it was. But it meant that whenever I needed to study, one of them would have to go with me to the library. Hermione also made the rule that she’d sit outside my cubicle every time I showered, especially since the stalker had mentioned it before, keeping watch in case he tried to show up while I was vulnerable.

Despite it making my life a little more complicated, I was glad the others were so willing to look after me. If it wasn’t for them being with me 24/7 who knows what could have happened?

-

It was Harry’s turn to be on y/n watch, as he and Ron had called it, when Fred and George came running into the common room breathless. We had been looking over the most recent letter and discussing more theories on who it could possibly be when they’d burst in. We let them get their breath back, Fred hunching over as George did his best to get his words out.

“We know who it is y/n..” He’d just about managed. I jumped up, letting him sit down.

“Wh-at? Really? Who- how?” I stuttered.

Fred stood up straight, having finally gotten his heartbeat back down.

“Katie bell said she’d seen Cormac Mclaggen writing some letters this morning, then Lavender said something about him buying a teddy in Hogsmeade last week.”

“But they both saw him coming down your dorm tower last night.” George finished, cutting his brother off from the kicker of the story.

“Oi I was getting to that.” Fred grumbled, but I had zoned them as soon as I’d heard Cormac’s name mentioned.

My fists clenched up with absolute aggression, I could kill him. Now I had a disgusting, smug face to put to all the fear and loathing he’d caused and all I wanted to do was break said face.

“That fucker!” I shouted out into thin air, heading for the door. But Fred was the one to catch me before I reached it, dragging me back again without a second thought.

“Y/n it could be someone else,” Harry tried to reason, but it had to be him. It only made sense. The twins didn’t seem too convinced but argued another point against me going to find him myself.

“Besides Mclaggen is a big guy, if you go alone there’s no saying what he’d do to you.” George nodded in agreement with his brother and, as much as I hated to admit it, Fred was right. Cormac had been keeper on their quidditch team for a while now, and didn’t hide how much he liked to work out when flirting with girls. So why was he choosing me to be so creepy and mysterious to, not that I would’ve appreciated him doing it face to face either.

We decided to have a secret meeting later that night with everyone after telling Hermione and Ron what we’d learnt. Ron was mad, wanting to confront him immediately similarly to how I had reacted, but like the others Mione agreed that we should plan something.

“Guys like that are too proud, he won’t listen to y/n if she rejects him in person,” She had explained, cross legged at the end of my bed. I was propped up against my headboard, my knees tucked up to my body with multiple means of murder running through my mind.

“Not to mention you’d be giving him the satisfaction he’s always wanted,” Fred added, sitting on the windowsill beside me. One of his feet was hanging off the edge near me, swinging ever so slightly. Some weird part of me wanted to reach out, just for something to hold onto.

In the end it was decided that Ron, Harry and the twins would go and talk to him in the morning while they were at quidditch practice. This meant that I could go down to breakfast without the worry that he would be there, watching me from down the table. I tried to hide my fear of him, but with so many of them looking after me that night it was inevitable that at least one of them saw the tears in my eyes, if not all of them.

-

Hermione, Ron and Harry needed to go to the library to do homework after we discussed Cormac, leaving me with the twins as bodyguards which could have been worse. They did their best to take my mind off of the boy who had been writing to me about his deepest fantasies, but I wasn’t in the mood for it.

George played around with the perfume bottles lined up on the dresser, using his wand to make them dance. He had always been good at keeping himself amused. Fred had remained on the windowsill the whole time, his foot still going back and forth even when I laid on my side and found it right in my face.

He laughed lightly as I poked it away wordlessly, only to push it back into my face again. Admittedly, our little game of him swinging his foot to me so I could gently hit it away kept my mind busy for a while. Obviously it had sent me to sleep too, as I woke up when Hermione came back to let the twins go. Half asleep I groaned a thank you to them, Fred rustling my hair as he passed by and George slapping my leg in recognition.

-

Breakfast the next morning felt tense, Lavender had told people she thought it was Mclaggen which meant everyone kept coming up to ask if it was true. Some of them even tried to convince me how nice he really was, and that I was lucky to be wanted by him. Hermione of course sent them all on their way, keeping a hold of my hand as I struggled to finish even one slice of toast. All the while, my eyes remained glued to the great hall doors, hoping I wouldn’t see him turn up early from practice. The thought of seeing him at all had kept me away from the common room, a sickly feeling bubbling in my stomach knowing that the boy’s would probably be confronting him right about now.

I felt like throwing up on the spot, my friend’s hand getting crushed in my own as I saw him saunter in, his eyes immediately catching mine and giving me a smug smile. All I wanted to do was go over to where he sat down without a care and break his nose off with one punch. That would stop him from smirking so much like a pervert.

“What happened?” Hermione asked the boys when they finally arrived.

“”He’s a huge git you know.” Ron grumbled, glaring the boy down but the whole time it was me he was watching. I stopped looking after a while, my eyes glossing over as I listened to the twins explain how he’d reacted.

“I don’t think he even cares that we know,” Fred said.

“He’s proud of it really.” George added, making that sickly feeling somehow intensify.

“Even with these two around he wasn’t bothered,” Harry pointed to the older Weasley brothers with a huff.

“Yeah, and we were threatening him quite a lot.” George laughed, no one else really responding to his attempt at a cheery comment.

“We better go,”Hermione said, checking the time and taking my hand “Come on, if we don’t go now he might wait all day.” She whispered to me and I nodded, standing up with her. “Just ignore him.” The girl reminded me as we got nearer to his end of the table, his eyes following my step.

I broke from Mione’s grip, leaning across the table to him with a glare on my face. The fear had turned into anger all over again now that he was in front of me.

“You’re vile Mclaggen.”

“What’s wrong y/n?” He asked, that smirk never faltering. “Didn’t you like my love letters?”

People around him were confused, now learning that he’d been the one to stalk me these past couple of weeks. While some of them were his friends, none of them jumped to his defense.

“You need to get a fucking life, and leave me alone you freak.” I spat, standing up straight again to see a shocked Hermione waiting for me. I just smiled and took her hand again, leading her out of the hall as if nothing had happened.

“Christ y/n..” she scoffed “Well done.” I leant against the windowsill in the hallway, laughing hysterically into my hands.

“God that felt good.” I breathed a sigh of relief, not sure whether it worked or not but glad that I at least got to embarrass him for just one moment.

-

It was my mistake to let my guard down and expect nothing more from Mclaggen that day. Because what happened that very night still is the very reason people check that every door and window is locked before they go to bed.

The commotion had woken me up first, shouts and panicked scuffling coming from two different people. Then the lights were turned on, dragging me out of my sleep in a single second just to see Hermione standing in the middle of the room with her wand outstretched. At the other end, Cormac Mclaggen was backing away slowly with his hands in the air, finally a frightened look on his face. He looked over at me, now awake and frozen with fear, giving Mione a chance to shout out for help.

“RON! FRED!” she screamed, knowing just one of them had to have heard from their beds. With this Cormac ran off, Hermione shooting stunning spells after him but he dodged every one of them as he descended the tower.

“Oh my god,” I finally gasped, swallowing down hard. I broke out into a burst of tears just before the boys turned up at the door George and Harry with them, all of them with wands out for whatever was going to be inside. Hermione wrapped her arms around me, looking up at the boys but still reassuring me that it was all okay now.

“He was in here,” She said slowly, making Ron and Harry race down to the common room to see if they could catch him.

Fred and George came to my side, each taking one of my hands and holding it tight. They sat with me all through the night, letting Hermione sleep for a while. Neither of them dared drift off themselves, certain that this wouldn’t be the creep’s last attempt to get close to me.

“You can sleep if you want,” Fred whispered to me, my head leaning on his shoulder. I shook it slightly.

“I can’t.”

-

{third pov}

When y/n whispered to him that she couldn’t sleep, despite all the people there to keep watch for that dick Mclaggen, Fred decided he wanted to see him dead. There had to be more he could do, something that would make him leave her alone for good. Threats hadn’t worked on him, neither had the girl he wanted so badly confronting him. So the boy felt at a loss, yet fuelled to stop the onslaught of fear that y/n felt.

So he waited until his brother was in the shower to sneak off to the courtyard, hoping to catch the pervert on his way to his daily run by the lake.

“Oi, Mclaggen!” He called across the empty bridge, seeing him appear from the castle.

“You alright Weasley?”

“It’s Fred. And I know what you did last night?” He stood tall over the boy, but nothing seemed to waver his confidence.

“And what would that be?”

“You were there, in her room. You sick fucker.” The boy huffed, feeling himself growing more and more frustrated at Cormac’s arrogance.

“You missed quite a party,” he scoffed, raising his eyebrows. Fred reached forward, grabbing his shirt and pulling it up to his chin.

“You listen to me, Okay? Leave y/n alone.” The boy swore that the pervert’s smile grew.

“And what’s it to you Weasley.” He all but hissed.

“She’s my girlfriend.”

The words had come out quicker than he’d really had time to think over their repercussions, but seeing the look on Mclaggen’s face drop in shock made up for whatever he was going to have to do from then on.

“She.. l-likes you?” Fred dropped him again, making him stumble slightly as he thought it over.

“Afraid so buddy.”

“How long has she been yours?” He hated the way it was phrased as if y/n was a possession for one of them to own.

“Two weeks.” Fred lied yet again, the anger he’d felt pushing him continue this story. At least it seemed to bother the other boy enough.

Cormac had sent one last glare at the ginger, before going off in a huff. Finally something had worked, maybe not for good, but it at least had gotten a reaction out of him. As Fred headed back inside the castle he realised that the only way the creep’s obsessive ways could be stopped, was if y/n’s attention was somewhere else.

Now he just had to find a way to explain that to her, without her getting too mad.

-

My room was now my safe place, somewhere he couldn’t turn up without consequence. Harry had brought me some breakfast from the great hall, and Ron was doing his best to keep what little spirits we had amongst us high. Hermione and George had given up trying to convince me to tell Mcgonagall, as I assured them nothing could be done unless he was caught inside the dorm.

“It’s just our word against his,” I huffed. We were all sitting around wondering where Fred had disappeared to when he appeared at the door, an awkward smile on his face when we all looked over at him.

“So…” He started, his voice wary as if we all might snap at him for what he was abou to say. “I might have done something bad.”

#fred and goerge weasley #fred weasley #fred x y/n #fred x reader #fred smut #weasley #weasley twins #ron weasley #the weasley twins #weasley twins smut #hermione granger #george weasley #fred and george #harry potter smut #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter #fred weasley fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #weasley smut #smut #fred weasley smut #weasley angst #angst #stalker #stalking #hero

[tedturneriscrazy]

Another Saturday, another episode! Let's take a look at Keeping Up A-fear-ances!

(Good lord I'm starting to make myself sound like some sort of content creator)

Oh, okay, we're just starting at that level of intensity, huh?

Chest gem origins

Gwendolyn not being satisfied with managing the curse and determined to cure it? I'm sure this won't be a real world allegory in the slightest.

Oh, so Eda literally just stumbles upon the portal? I could call that contrived, but honestly it's not dissimilar to how Dipper found Journal 3. For that matter, the entirety of Lord of the Rings is predicated on an accidental discovery like this and nobody gave Tolkien shit about it.

Was the eye on the portal cracked in previous episodes? I don't remember.

Seems like Gwen is the "well-meaning but ultimately misguided" flavor of mom.

As an aside, I am now quite curious about how Eda's first trip to the human realm went. Maybe a future episode will cover it? At any rate, I smell a new favorite fic prompt.

The screaming alarms in the Demon Realm will never not be funny to me.

Also, that is a worrying number of hearts. Eda is straight up murdering these poor creatures.

For some reason the gold fang being removable never occurred to me as a possibility, and now I feel like a kid who's discovered that Santa isn't real.

Oh hey, the new outfit! I'm also impressed how close to symmetrical that tearing was.

I need to get a screencap of Luz sleeping on that stack of books because she is adorable.

Also, staying up all night researching? This season seems determined to completely eradicate the notion of Luz being dumb, and I am here for it.

I have a feeling the Hexside mug will be making its way to The Mystery Shack in the near future.

Lilith's first experience with transformation and she seems understandably horrified.

The curse acting stronger when stressed? That seems...important.

Ah, so the dismemberment is from the curse! A surprisingly useful side effect from what we've seen so far.

Can I just say that I appreciate how Eda's reaction to Lilith's first taste of transformation is immediate remedy, explanation, and reassurance? And doesn't make any snarky comments along the lines of "now you know what it's like?" Whatever happened in that week and a half must have been cathartic as hell.

"Always. Always curious." Luz is the TOH fandom.

(Also, Eda, you know she is, considering how much she went on about your "mysterious past" at the Covention)

"Magic bird tornado?!" Luz has a way with words that's just *chef's kiss*.

"Gwendolyn." Eda is already just fucking done.

"MOM?!?!" Jeez, Lilith, you're just now hearing all this?

I was charmed by how motherly Gwen was acting toward Eda, but then she kinda just...dismissed Lilith, and now I'm somehwat less charmed.

(Sweet flea as a term of endearment is kinda cute, though might have some unfortunate implications depending on how you want to interpret it)

"Who knows what they put in those nasty concoctions?" OH WE GOING FOR THE ANTI-VAXXERS NOW YESSSS

Luz and Lilith's reaction to that whole exchange is priceless.

Everyone's perspective here makes perfect sense for who they are and what they've been through.

Poor Lilith. Her cursing Eda is beginning to make more sense.

Ah, thus begins the collaboration.

"We'll be consulting someone very special." Why does that seem so...ominous?

Is there anyone who watched this episode for the first time whose bullshit detector didn't go off immediately when Gwen mentioned finding someone who promised a cure?

Heh, Palm Stings.

Nonbelievers will be blinded by the power of the tome? I'm sure they will be, Wartlop.

I must say, as something of a scientist myself (okay that's not true, I'm a QA tech for a food manufacturer, but I do have a chemistry degree), I am 100% here for the swings being taken at faith healing/"miracle" cures/anti-vaxxers in this episode

Oh, we Wile E. Coyote now, huh?

Also, interesting how much apple blood is being played up in this episode.

Lilith please you're projecting your mommy issues on a literal child

OH WE REALLY JUST WILE E. COYOTE HUH?

You're right, Luz, Gwen's bicep game is goals.

(Somewhat disappointed the scars are from questing and not beastkeeping, but eh)

Why do I get the feeling there's gonna be a future episode where everybody stages an intervention for Eda's apple blood problem?

"Those feathers mean we're driving the beast out" Gwen no

Hooty is holding the brain cell? Oh no...

If that ice cream came from the Night Market it would explain why Lilith sounds drunk.

(Side note: I can't be the only one getting flashbacks to Mermista's ice cream binge, right? Different context, but still)

"Abomi-berry" "Franken fruit" "Key slime pie" These are A+ flavor names.

Oh, there's the transformation...

I must say that whole segment kinda rubbed me the wrong way. The way King's opinion on his dad was changed seemed...I don't know how to describe it. I get that they needed a trigger for Lilith's transformation, but honestly if any part of the episode is contrived it's this.

"¡It really is that good!" So that's what an accent slip in written form looks like. (The upside down exclamation point is used in Spanish, in case anyone didn't know)

I keep half expecting Eda to say "Beep! Beep!" at this point.

Luz is finally asking questions. Took long enough.

Ah, the classic "moving the goal posts to extract more money from a desparate family member" technique.

Luz channeling Scorpion, we love to see it.

There is an exquisite irony in Eda's mom being scammed, I must say.

Ah, so that's where the elixirs went. Dammit, Gwen.

Luz is definitely thinking "Are you fucking kidding me right now?!"

Beast!Lilith is massive.

"Sweet flea?" Gwen just realized she done goofed.

"I can see you still need a little time." God Luz is so fucking smart.

The con revealed.

OH DAMN SCARY MAMA

(Also I am terrified of bees/wasps, so extra scary mama in my book)

The scam is revealed, goblins, getting back into the Wartlop disguise is kinda pointless.

She joined the Beast Keeping coven entirely to cure the curse? That's dedication. A shame you couldn't have spared some of that for Lilith.

Still, I do like badass scary mama Gwen. I'd be down to see more of that.

Owl Beast fight!

I am slayed by the fact that the portraits are now officially a recurring gag 😂

Aw, here's The Moment™️

"My turn to drive" Does this imply cars are a thing on the Boiling Isles after all?

Lilith crying almost immediately💔 She was holding onto a lot of pain.

Yes, King, she was trying to do her best. I mean, road to hell or whatever, but at least Gwen got there in the end.

WHAT?! YOU'RE BREAKING UP LULU AND HOOTCIFER?!?!?!?

Terrace, that's just cruel. (Worthless brownie points for whoever understands that reference)

No, seriously, you can't just give me my favorite inter-character relationship in the series after Lumity and just...take it away like that, come on! 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I know I should remark on how Lilith told Gwen about the circumstances of the curse, how Gwen rightfully accepted responsibility for the whole situation, and how Luz finds the big hair aspirational, but...NOOOO DON'T END THE ADVENTURES OF LULU AND HOOTCIFER WHYYYYYYYYY💔😭💔😭💔😭

"BUT I CAN'T HOLD A PEN!"

I will never emotionally recover from this.

Okay, I think I got that out of my system. Anyway...

Not the only human, huh? Cue the "Belos is a human" theorists going into maximum overdrive.

That said, a tantalizing lore dump.

We certainly do have a lot of garbage. Some of it even holds office. HEY-O!

Setting up the next episode, too. Continuity!

Camp's over, huh? That means it's been three months.

Way to misdirect with Camila, guys. That said, we have now seen Camila cry and I HATE it. (In the right way, I think)

WHAT THE FUCK

HOLY SHIT

CREEPY LUZ IS REAL WHAT

OWJEIWHQGIWWOPQ

(It's hard to keysmash on a phone, even with autocorrect off)

That wraps it up! The flaws in this episode seem more pronounced than any others in the season so far, but the good stuff was really good! Overall a solid episode! I know everybody's looking forward to library Lumity in the next one (so am I), but I'm personally eager to see what they do with Gus. His part is the A plot, after all.

Anyway, I'll be back at this next week! Still hard to believe this is a thing, but that's life, I guess.

#the owl house #eda clawthorne #gwendolyn clawthorne #luz noceda #lilith clawthorne #king of demons #toh king #toh s2 spoilers #the owl house s2 spoilers #the owl house season 2 spoilers #toh spoilers #the owl house spoilers

[naturepointstheway]

Frozen - Domestic Assassin (Crack AU) Masterpost

This is a Masterpost of all the fanfiction I’d written (all on Tumblr) based in @ultranos’ Domestic Assassin crack AU which was hilarious for a fairly good-sized group of us! And from what I”ve seen in my notifications, people are still enjoying and finding fics of mine in this AU even to this day, which is great! 

I’ve basically dug into my previous fanfiction pages and pulled them out year by year, so because it’ll be way too much work to try and arrange everything by title, I just went by year. At least Tumblr keeps the links when I copy and paste. 

Since there are so many, you’ll find them under the cut. Enjoy! 

Pre-2016

Air Mattress Prompt  

An exhausted Anna returns home from a hot night with Kristoff only to accidentally make her sister fly off the air mattress when she flops down on it for a sleep.

“Am I supposed to be alarmed by the moon tonight?” prompt 

Elsa is so exhausted she gets confused between the sun and moon apparently.

“Can we please stop fighting and talk about the koala in your room?” 

Elsa adopted a koala, much to Anna’s exasperation.

“Can you pull this fake cobweb across the door?” Halloween prompt 

Anna wants to play a prank on Elsa...

Cell Block Sniper (M - violence and strong language)

Yes. Yes. It’s a crossover. A crossover between “Cell Block Tango” song from Chicago and this AU.

“Do you realise what this means?” “That you’re a really bad shot?” 

Elsa is NOT having the best of time trying to instruct a new trainee.

Domestic Assassin AU prompt: Hans’ POV (pre-reveal) 

Hans has a visit from Elsa when he dumps Anna. 

“Don’t touch that!” (Healthcare writing prompt, Snow Sisters) 

Elsa was bound to fall out of a tree at some point and end up in hospital. Anna takes care of her. 

Elsa and Weselton prompt 

Elsa refuses to let Weselton in the door.

Eyes That Glisten 

Anna knows how to persuade Elsa to do whatever she wants. 

“God you’re such a grumpy bags in the morning aren’t you?” 

Elsa is not a happy camper after a long night where everything just goes wrong. “Holy shit. Most realistic Dementor costume ever.” Halloween prompt 

Turns out, Elsa just looks like that most of the time.

“I can’t help being a geek about my vital signs!” prompt (Elsarik) 

A crossover between another AU (Shardsverse) 

“I don’t think I should tell you what we’re dressed as.” (Halloween Prompt) 

Somebody think of the children! 

“I dropped my cookie :’(” 

Elsa cries when she drops her cookie. 

“I feel like a T-Rex” 

Anna is too lazy to just grab the goddamn stepladder and get the jam herself.

“I wish I could drive you out of my life with a sword!” (Hans and Anna, prompt) 

Anna is NOT a fan of Hans...

“Maybe you should go as an assassin. Oh wait, you already are one.” (Halloween prompt) 

Anna is a sarcastic little sister to Elsa.

“No one unfollows like Gaston!” 

Anna overhears Gaston boasting about how he unfollowed someone because of a disability. She is not happy.

Ruined Dinner Party

After an hour of waiting for her sister to come to the party, Anna finally spots her with “ketchup” all over her top. 

Part 2 of “Ruined Dinner Party”

Of course it wasn’t ketchup. Duh. Anna is NOT HAPPY.

Sleepyhead (drabble, Snow Sisters) 

Elsa, going to the kitchen for midnight munchies, spots Anna sprawled on a couch, textbooks all around her. 

“So. Many. Triangles. Help me here!” 

Anna, not being a maths-y person, gets frustrated with geometry, and Elsa offers to help. 

“So you’re going as yourself for Halloween.” Halloween prompt 

Elsa is not keen on dressing up as Halloween.

“Tell our parents my Tumblr URL and I swear I will make your death look like an accident” prompt. 

Elsa practically threatens Anna when the latter demands to explain her Tumblr URL (of course she quickly forgives her little sis.) 

“That mask is all kinds of creepy. I like it.” Halloween prompt 

Elsa practically shits herself when Anna scares her while wearing a terrifying mask. 

Things you said at 4am prompt 

Anna gets a call at 4am on her phone from Elsa, who accidentally sniped the wrong guy..

Those Poor Birds 

Elsa mistakes a pair of birds’ mating antics as fighting, much to Anna’s amusement.

“Wait, you’re yelling at a movie?” (Snow Sisters, writing prompt) 

Elsa is very confused to find that Anna’s yelling from the lounge is at a movie. Not at an invader.

“Was it really necessary to shoot my pumpkin carving?” (Halloween prompt) 

Anna is NOT happy when Elsa decides to use her pumpkin carving for shooting practice.

“What do you mean it’s a sunset…?” prompt 

Elsa wakes up only to find that it’s already after sunset, not sunrise.

“What the hell? You gave out alcoholic chocolate to trick-or-treating kids?!” (Halloween prompt) 

Anna discovers that her German chocolates had been opened by Elsa, who’d handed them out to kids. 

“Where did you leave the spare copy of that book?” (Elsarik DA!verse, prompt) 

Crossing over with another writer’s AU with her OC, Alarik. Elsa can’t find that one specific book she needs, and she’s sure Alarik has it. 

“You once asked me what I’d do if I had only one day left.” prompt 

Anna will most definitely NOT be spending that final day of her life with Hans.

“You did what?!” prompt (Elsa and Kristoff) 

Elsa does not appreciate Kristoff’s concern over her having WAY too many cats for one house.

“You mean a line segment.” prompt 

Elsa is a huge geometry nerd, even waiting in line for takeaways.

“You should go as an assassin. Oh wait. You already are one.” prompt 

Another one where Anna suggests Elsa goes as an assassin for Halloween, only to be all “oh wait, you are one.” 

2016

Accidental shooting

Elsa accidentally shoots someone she did not mean to shoot in a library’s basement. 

Amuse Me

Elsa’s having one of those blah days and Anna’s there with bad puns all ready to go.

“Bittersweet and Strange” (not based on a prompt)

Elsa explains exactly how she likes her coffee to Anna. Turns out Elsa is also a huge fan of marmite. 

“Can’t I at least take this baby koala home?”

Anna, no, you cannot take a koala home from Australia, no matter how cute it is.

Cat Gallery (not based on a prompt)

Kristoff discovers Elsa’s huge photo album of her cats. 

“Did you lose your main point…”

Anna hears something about money and bills and wait what now.

“Do nurses ever fall asleep on the night shift?”

Anna visits Elsa in hospital and inevitably someone has to wonder this. Elsa’s adorbs when she’s pouty and Anna can’t help but annoy her on this count.

Fight Me

One sister challenges another to a fun boxing game. 

“How did you get these bruises?”

A crossover with another writer’s canon OC, Alarik (”Elsarik”) where he asks how she got some bruises while on the job. 

“How many cats are in bed with you?”

Anna marvels that there are nine cats in bed with Elsa. 

“I don’t think you’re supposed to have the whole packet at once.”

Do not eat a whole bag of coffee. Do not.

I Have Found My People (not based on a prompt)

Elsa has discovered that certain Scandinavian countries drink the most coffee in the world and wants to migrate there right now.

“I know you don’t want this but it’s for your own good…”

Kristoff is rightly concerned when he finds that Elsa had thirty cups of coffee in 48 hours. Do not do this at home.

“I, uh, kinda dropped it in the water.”

Elsa calls Anna to tell her there’s an emergency: she dropped her wallet in the sea and all the fish now have her personal information. 

“I want a Venusian day…”

Elsa tries to explain to Anna why she would not want to live on Venus. Anna doesn’t give a fuck. More hours in the day what’s not to love about that?

Of Cat’s Paws and Adopting Stellar Systems (not based on a prompt)

Elsa is enthralled by a photo of the Cat’s Paw Nebula she has found on the laptop. 

Of Monkeying Around and Going Ape (not based on a prompt)

Anna comes home to discover that Elsa has adopted a monkey that had been neglected by its owner. Even Anna is almost (I said, ALMOST) tempted to keep the monkey but her common sense reigns. 

“Oh so you were in my bed this whole time?” (nsfw)

Dontcha hate when you’re in the middle of coitus and your goddamn cat has to interrupt you? (Elsarik, with another Frozen writer’s (@patricia-von-arandel) OC for Elsa)

“Once we start tickling, we can’t stop!” (nsfw)

Another steamy one with an old abandoned OC of mine (Jannike), where they find themselves having a quickie while the boss is away. 

Rubbish Day (not based on a prompt)

Anna is horrified to find a rubbish bag gone and trails of what suspiciously looks like blood leading outside. Turns out some meat thrown in there leaked inside.

“The best way to get rid of your ex…”

Anna didn’t think that Hans Westerguard would ever end up on Elsa’s targets to “take care of”. Until he does.

The One Time Elsa Caught Anna “Studying” (not based on a prompt)

Anna uses the mirror in the bathroom to practice distinguishing teeth for a medical exam. Elsa suggests alternatives. 

“What is this owl doing in our bathroom?”

Of course Elsa would adopt an owl and want to keep it in the bathroom. Of course.

“Who dances in the rain anyway?”

Elsa comes home to discover Anna dancing in the rain. 

“Why is there an otter in our kitchen?”

Anna comes home to find that Elsa has “adopted” an otter from a “client”. As you do.

“Why would you wish to be at a backpackers?”

Elsa and Alarik (Shards AU, Elsarik) decide to stay at a backpackers together for some private time. 

“Yes, yes the cold doesn’t bother you…”

Anna is not impressed with Elsa standing in the snow when she has a major cold.

2017

The Blood of White Men (not based on a prompt)

As Elsa’s favourite song goes, he had it comin’ all along. 

Is the Earth Broken? (not based on a prompt)

Elsa is confused about why the day she thought it was today...actually isn’t. She convinces herself the Earth has somehow broked. 

“It won’t be high tide you said…”

Elsa needs to learn that reading yesterday’s newspaper’s high tide times is not helpful. 

Kittens on Saturn (not based on a prompt)

Elsa hopes there’s actual giant kittens on Saturn after seeing a graphic manipulation on an astronomy news site.

Of Singing Humpback Whales and Rock Trolls

Kristoff visits Elsa in hospital while Anna’s busy with other things. It...does not go as expected. Poor Kristoff. 

“Proboscis Monkeys look ridiculous…”

Anna’s exasperation at Elsa rescuing a Proboscis monkey is still not so great that she can’t help but wonder what would happen if you honked their nose. Anna NO. 

“She’s going to kill you.”

Kristoff knows his days are numbered when he spills carrot juice all over Elsa’s brand new rifle. Uh oh.

“There’s a perfectly good reason for all these kittens.”

Turns out Elsa decided to adopt some kittens left on the side of the road when they’re already over-run with cats.

“This is extreme, even for you.”

Elsa is so addicted to her coffee she’s begun pouring them into wine bottles, as you do.

2018

Elsa brings home a parrot 

Anna discovers that Elsa has “rescued” a very large, very loud parrot from one of her, ahem, “clients”.

Elsa’s Back Up Cat, Mushu 

Anna discovers one of the cats apparently reading a book, and much to her consternation, Elsa explains he’s for back up.

“Oh what a circus!” photo prompt 

Anna takes her still-bewildered-after-five-coffees sister to the circus. This may or may not turn out to be a great idea.

#Frozen #Domestic Assassin AU #DA!verse #Frozen DA!verse

[alison-anonymous]

flawsome bandits pt. 1 ♡ sonic

Flawsome First Meetings

EARLY RELEASE!

Hello, my darlings and WELCOME to my second multi-part fanfic, Flawsome Bandits (a Sonic the Hedgehog Movie! x Reader). I have not yet finished the second chapter of this story yet, and I’m currently trying to prewrite these chapters so I can update them along the way, but I wanted to get the first one out to all of my patient darlings as soon as possible! Please let me know what you think, the love always encourages me to write more ;) Love you all, please enjoy!

Warnings: none

♡♡♡

If you've ever had amnesia, you'd know that things seem very quick.

Little flashbacks of what you're guessing to be your backstory come back in little spurts that never last long enough and are gone too soon. They leave huge, gaping holes in your background information from what your favorite color is to who your parents were. Try your story on for size.

You were Y/n Wachowski. A sassy, quick-witted teenage girl with a love for speed and a sharp tongue. Parents? Unknown. Distant relatives? Undiscovered. Hometown? Who the fuck knows. You were sent to live with the Wachowski's as your permanent foster parents after you were discovered wandering around the woods by a couple of hikers. They said that they found you wearing a ripped and dirty jumpsuit with pastel colors that looked like it was ten times smaller than your size. When they had tried to confront you, it was almost as if you couldn't hear them, your mouth open and unspeaking. Eyes wandering, glossy and unseeing. 

You couldn't remember much about your past. Most of the time it was like looking at a blank sheet of paper, ready to get into the printer but it's out of ink. After being diagnosed with a concussion and severe amnesia, you were seen as unfit to take care of yourself, so that was how you ended up with the Wachowskis. But just because you were lucky enough to have loving and patient foster parents didn't mean that you had an answer to every question they asked. You had no idea what your favorite color was, what you liked to do in your free time, or even if you were a night owl. 

It was like you didn't even remember who you were. Like you had just been born, only you weren't a baby and were instead a teenager. It got incredibly lonely being a child with no memories, and the kids at school found you very creepy. But it was okay. Tom and Maddie made sure to give you as much love as was humanly possible, and when the bullying at school got to the point where they would follow you home, they switched you to homeschooling. 

It appeared that you not only had no existing memories of your past, but you also had barely any idea how things on earth worked. Whenever someone mentioned examinations, vaccines, bucket lists, and even governmental agencies, you had no clue what they were talking about. 

Not everyone was as patient as Tom and Maddie were, unfortunately. Most people would assume that you were kidding when you asked them what a protractor was or why people ride animals. It all seemed so strange and new to you, like Tarzan when he was visiting the human world and not the ape land he was familiar with. But out of it all, there was one thing that you became absolutely fascinated with. 

Cars. 

The faster, the better. You seemed to have an unchecked need for speed that tickled at your mind every time you got behind the wheel. Whenever Tom allowed it, you'd take the truck or his old squad motorcycle out for a spin in the abandoned corn fields where you could do as many tricks as you wanted without putting anyone else in danger. One of your favorites was driving backwards. 

It's during one of those days where our story finally begins. The Montana sun was high up in the sky, beating down its scorching rays onto the untouched pavement. A flock of birds fled for the telephone polls in an attempt to escape from the ever increasing sound of revving coming from the abandoned corn field near Crazy Carl's traps for the supposed "Blue Devil." In the midst of the dead and crusty corn stalks, there sat a young girl on a very old squad motorcycle. Her hair fluttered gently in the slight breeze running through the air, a pair of sunglasses perched delicately atop her nose in the absence of a helmet. Before her stood a makeshift riser composed of some old wooden slabs she had "borrowed" from an old tree house a little ways south. A smirk played across her lips as she kicked up the bike's kickstand and revved the engine. 

"Alright, Y/n, if you make this jump, you'll be the most famous girl in Green Hills…" Her words got lost in the wind as she took a deep breath and began to ride towards the jump, her speed increasing with every passing second. The distance began to decrease, her growing closer and closer until an abnormal electric blue blur zipped past her. Startled, she swerved, momentarily losing control of her bike as she slowed to a stop, planting her boots firmly on the ground. Chest heaving, she flipped her sunglasses up onto her forehead and slipped off of the bike, looking around the empty field to see if she hit anything. 

What was that? She wondered. 

Unbeknownst to her, a couple feet away from her, hidden deep within some dehydrated bushes was a royal blue hedgehog. He had been on his way back to his cave after taking a turtle for a little joy ride down the interstate when he spotted his favorite human on earth, Star Chaser. She was the most amazing girl he had ever seen, and lived with Donut Lord and Pretzel Lady. He would make it a priority to hang out with her every time she was out practicing her racing tricks, a dopey grin spreading on his face every time he saw her ecstatic smile. She just never knew he was there. 

More than anything, he wished that he could get to hang out with her just once. Just for one day, spent full of speeding down the empty country roads and flying over makeshift jumps and laughing about the funny faces they made from the wind hitting their skin. But he knew better. He had to stay hidden, just like Longclaw said. Never stop running, and always stay hidden… alone. 

There was something about her that just drew him to her, something familiar. He watched with caution as Star Chaser searched the field a bit more, her footfalls making satisfying crunching sounds on the long gone plants. Her beautiful e/c eyes searched the grounds before her for whatever had interrupted her practice. Finally, after she was satisfied with not having hit anything, she got back onto the cycle, flipped her sunglasses back on, and zipped away, leaving a trail of smoky exhaust in her wake.

The blue hedgehog zoomed back to his cave himself, dodging trees and bushes with expertise. The whole time he ran, he couldn't prevent his mind from wondering what life might be like if he were somehow able to live alongside the humans. If he could have a conversation with Star Chaser that didn't exist in his imagination, to maybe even discover why she seemed so familiar. What would life be like if he didn't have to hide? 

♡♡♡

Just when things finally start getting familiar, the concept of moving decides to rear its ugly head in. Y/n had found out that her foster dad got a promotion, a job in another city with a higher ranking and a wider variety of donut holes to snack on. That meant that they were going to have to leave Green Hills. 

But, knowing her, she shoved the grief and frustration so far down inside her until it became nonexistent. Maddie had left on a trip to see her sister, leaving Y/n and Tom alone. They had had a freak power outage the night before, leaving Tom a bit on edge. His phone kept ringing off the hook as his coworker was just a bit dependent on him, and had no idea if he should just ignore the 911 phone calls or pick them up. 

“Remind me to drive by the library tomorrow,” Y/n set down her latest novel on the counter by the car keys. She watched as Tom stole a bit of frosting off of the cake and scrunched up her nose at the lack of sanitation. “I need to return this before we get fined.” 

Tom nodded just as his phone began ringing. He held up a finger to his daughter and leaned against the counter, lifting up the phone to his ear as he began to talk to his wife. Y/n turned to the fridge and was trying to decide whether or not she was hungry or just bored as she did her best to not listen to them talking about the move. Just as she was about to reach for the watermelon, a loud clattering noise came from outside. Tom and Y/n exchanged an alarmed glance and quickly shuffled over to the window, childishly trying to shove each other out of the way so they could get a good look. 

“Shit,” Y/n swore as she took in the knocked over trash bins sitting next to the garage.

“Watch your potty mouth,” Tom scolded, but a smile still stayed on his lips. “The racoons are back.” Y/n watched as he quickly turned towards one of the junk drawers and pulled out Maddie’s bear tranquilizer gun. She snorted. 

“You better not be using my tranquilizer gun,” she heard Maddie’s voice say over the speaker. “That’s for bears.”

“Good,” Tom grinned as he loaded up the machine. “Now I know it’ll work. Y/n, stay inside.” Y/n scoffed as he hung up the phone and opened up the back door. Yes, of course she was going to stay safely inside like a crappy sidekick and miss the potential action of scaring trash pandas half to death. Grabbing an extra flashlight, she raced out after her dad to see him pressed up against the side of the shed, holding the gun and flashlight near his face. He jumped once she saddled up next to him, putting her flashlight in front of her like her own makeshift gun.

“I thought I told you to stay inside,” He narrowed his brows. To his dismay, Y/n only shrugged.

“You did. I didn’t listen,” she grinned, making it obvious that he had no other choice than to let her stay. He sighed, but nevertheless nodded. On a quick countdown from three, the two burst into the shed, waving their flashlights around like mad men.

“Green Hills PD, put your paws up!” Tom hollered. Y/n slowly made her way out from behind him, flashing her light around the empty room until it finally came to a stop. Her eyes widened in shock and her jaw nearly dropped to the floor as she tried to make sense of what exactly she was looking at. An electric blue creature wearing white gloves and tennis shoes stood before them, holding what looked like a gold wedding ring between his forefinger and thumb. She couldn’t tell what was stranger: the fact that he existed or the fact that he seemed oddly familiar. The creature’s green eyes flashed from hers to her father’s before he let out a small, nervous chuckle. 

“Uhh, meow?” 

And then, Tom screamed. His fear and the sudden introduction of the loud noise caused Y/n to scream, too, which finally led to the little blue creature screaming. But the longer Y/n stared at it, the more she began to experience a slight hint of deja vu. She couldn’t seem to shake the feeling that she had seen this thing before. 

“Wait,” she whispered, barely loud enough for her dad to hear, but the blue creature’s ears perked up. He turned his attention back to her and the second they locked eyes, the same sense of familiarity began coursing through his veins. After all of those days spent watching her from afar, how did he never notice the e/c eyes? Where had he seen them before?

Unfortunately, Tom just had to go and ruin the moment by pulling the trigger on the tranq gun. 

“Dad, no!” Y/n cried, but it was already too late as the dart sank into the blue creature’s thigh. They could only watch as the animal looked down at the needle in his leg and slowly looked back up with a hurt glare.

“Ow,” he whined, his eyes already beginning to lose their concentration. Y/n was about to take a step towards the creature, but Tom wrapped his hand around her arm to stop her. The creature’s eyes floated over Tom’s shirt, zeroing in on the words that littered the old fabric. “San… Fran…sisco?” He muttered. The ring he had been holding on to loosely slipped from his fingers, and began rolling across the floor. As its velocity increased, it began expanding, deying all laws of logic as a portal overlooking the given city appeared. Y/n and Tom’s jaws dropped to the floor as they watched the creature stumble, dropping his little bag through the portal and collapsing onto the ground. Y/n’s heart ached for the poor thing as she fought to get out of her father’s grasp in order to help him. 

Within seconds, the portal closed up, eliminating the slight wind that had appeared. “N-No…” The creature whimpered before finally passing out. A thick silence crossed over the three as Tom’s grip on Y/n’s arm loosened, both humans trying to figure out what the heck they just witnessed. 

“What the actual fuck?” Y/n breathed. 

“Language…” 

♡♡♡

“Yes. Let’s shoot the poor thing and then put him in a cage,” Y/n rolled her eyes sarcastically, watching as her father poked the blue creature resting inside of their dog’s old cage. She batted at his hand, and gave him a death glare, but he just sighed. 

“Come on, kid, what if he’s an alien?” Tom asked incredulously, turning back to the sleeping creature. He nudged its head with a metal spatula and sighed. 

“I don’t know…” Y/n sighed, resting her head on her knuckle. I mean, she had to admit he was kind of… cute. The nostalgia that he was causing was just an added complication. There was something about his entire being that seemed eerily familiar to her, but she couldn’t for the life of her figure out why. Tom slowly withdrew something that had fallen onto the padding; an electric blue quill. The two slowly leaned closer to inspect the object, noting the little blue bolts of electricity that whizzed across its surface. It absolutely fascinated Y/n, while Tom seemed a little more apprehensive. He turned away from the cage and set it down on the counter, running a hand over his face. 

“This is nuts,” he whispered. Y/n took the opportunity to get a little closer to the being, scanning his body with careful eyes. She debated reaching through the bars to touch him, but before she had a chance to, his eyes slowly popped open. Her eyes widened and she stayed perfectly still as he pushed himself up to a standing position and made his way to open the cage. Her breath catches in her throat as he finally looks up at her and gives her a small, sheepish smile, stumbling out onto the counter top. Even in the given circumstances, the only thing that the girl can think of is how absolutely adorable he is. 

...wait, what?

“Star Chaser?” Y/n quickly turned her attention back to the present and furrowed her brows in confusion. Who was Star Chaser? “Donut Lord?” The blue being slurred, holding on to the cage for support. Tom swiveled around at the sound and scoffed.

“So the Blue Devil can talk. You’re not here to abduct us are you?” 

“YOU abducted ME,” the Blue Devil replied defensively, pressing his hand against his chest. Y/n rolled her eyes and stepped between the two, looking the being in the eyes. 

“I am very sorry for that-”

“Why are you apologizing to it?!” Tom cried, running his hands through his hair incredulously. Y/n just rolled her eyes. 

“I told him to just leave you alone. But, if I may ask, who are you and why were you in our shed?” She finished. Tom facepalmed behind her while the Blue Devil did his best to concentrate his fatigue on the beautiful girl standing before him. Gosh, her eyes were pretty…

“I-I needed a safe place, and Donut Lord’s house was the only place I could think of, Star Chaser!” 

“Why does he keep calling me Donut Lord?” Tom asked warily, slowly reaching for the tranq gun. Y/n quickly shot him a glare and he let out an annoyed huff. Even though he was her foster father, they acted like siblings with good-hearted and frequent quarrels. 

“Because you talk to donuts,” the Blue Devil explained. “And then eat them when they get out of line.” Y/n snorted, trying her best to contain her laughter by pressing the back of her hand to her mouth. She didn’t notice the small smile that formed on the blue hedgehog’s face as Tom shrugged, nodding his head slightly. 

“Fair. Why is she Star Chaser?” The Blue Devil got a distant look on his face, a small, thoughtful smile still lingering on his lips.

“I’ve watched her race out in the fields. It’s amazing how fast she can go. Sometimes I wonder if she’s trying to chase the stars out of the sky…” A soft smile slowly formed on your lips at his words. No one had ever talked about you like that before. 

The distant look on his face was suddenly replaced by one with worry. His eyes began frantically glancing around the room, Y/n being able to practically see the alarms going off in his head. “Wait, where are my… Why am I still on earth? Oh no, I lost my rings!” 

“Rings?” Y/n furrowed her brows in confusion. Just then, a loud rumbling sound came from outside. It had such an impact that it shook the entire house, startling the chimes that Maddie had hung up above the sink. The three looked around in confusion.

“What’s happening? Is this your mothership?” Tom began panicking, walking briskly around the table towards the window. He jabbed an accusing finger at the nervous hedgehog. “I do NOT want my daughter getting probed.”

“Dad, stop,” Y/n sighed, following him towards the window. “You’re the one who abducted him. Can’t you be just a little bit sentimental?”

“Thanks,” the hedgehog muttered just loud enough for Y/n to hear. She stood next to her foster dad at the window and peered out the glass. A giant grey vehicle that had been passing stopped and began backing up towards their driveway.

“What the hell kind of make is that?” Y/n muttered. The Blue Devil was by their side in a second and was peering through the window too. Once he caught sight of the ginormous lab van, he let out a squeak and pulled the white curtains shut.

“They’re after me!”

“Who’s after you?” Y/n questioned in concern. She got pushed behind Tom as he stood protectively in front of her, eyeing the Blue Devil suspiciously.

“And what does that have to do with us?” 

“I don’t have time to explain, but you have to help me!” He pleaded. Y/n felt her heart sink for the creature, her instant gut feeling telling her that they had to help him. He was in danger, albeit he was apparently a runaway. Unfortunately, Tom had different ideas as he furiously shook his head.

“No, we don’t!”

“But Dad-”

“Y/n, enough,” Tom ended her protests sternly. He turned back to the blue hedgehog and furrowed his brows, wondering what reason he could possibly have that would need them to help him. “Why should we help you?”

“Well, my legs, which normally would be classified as legal weapons, feel like spaghetti. I need your help, please! It’s life or death.” The Blue Devil’s green eyes pleaded to Tom. Y/n slowly made her way out from behind her dad and glanced down at him. He knew exactly what to say in order to get Tom to help him, didn’t he? It was almost as if he had been there all of those times when Tom was wishing for someone to come to him in their time of need. His facade crumbled and he caved in almost instantly.

“Alright, fine. Y/n, take him up to the attic. I’ll take a look at what’s going on outside.” Tom ordered. Y/n nodded and motioned for the blue hedgehog to follow her. They quickly scampered towards the stairs, and as they began to walk quietly up the flights, Y/n noticed two things. One, Crazy Carl was right after all. The little “Blue Devil” was a lot larger than she had expected him to be, measuring up to be about half of her height. And two, the thing was having a horrific time walking. With a strangely racing heart, Y/n slowed down her pace and offered her hand to the being. He gave her a small smile and accepted it, wrapping his gloved hand around her own. 

“My actual name is Y/n, by the way,” she finally spoke in an attempt to break the hurried silence. “But I like Star Chaser better.” He smiled beside her, trying to figure out why the girl before him seemed so familiar.

“I just thought it suited you. My name’s Sonic. Sonic the Hedgehog.”

“I knew you weren’t an alien,” Y/n said as she let go of his hand to pull down the ladder. She picked the hedgehog up and set him down gently inside the attic. His name kept ringing throughout her head on an endless loop, like it was supposed to bring back some big part of her life, but it always came back empty. She gave him a small smile and was about to head back down when he stopped her.

“Wait,” his dreamy green eyes were full of concern as he looked straight into Y/n’s. “Be careful.” 

Y/n appreciated how genuinely concerned he was for her safety. It was a beautiful gulp of fresh air amidst all of the others who thought she was crazy or weird. At least his sincerity made the fact that he had been basically stalking her and her family for a while now a little bit less creepy. Y/n gave him a reassuring smile and closed the attic door, racing all the way back down to the main floor where she skidded to a halt by the door. 

There was Tom, with some very strange looking man sporting a signature Man with the Bowler Hat mustache standing in the Y/n slowly approached her dad and watched as the man turned his attention towards her.

“Oh, I didn’t realize you had a daughter,” the man smiled creepily, sending shivers down her spine. She scrunched her nose as Tom wrapped his arm around her shoulder protectively.

“I have a name,” she raised her brows skeptically. “Y/n.” 

At the sound of her name, the man got a shocked look on his face, his eyes widening to the size of saucers as he stared intensely at her. Tom and Y/n exchanged confused glances before the man quickly snapped back into reality. 

“Y/n…” he repeated. “Interesting. Anyways, where was I? Oh, yes,” he suddenly propelled himself towards Tom, becoming very uncomfortably close to his face. Y/n slowly sank into her father’s arm in order to back away from the strange man. “I was spitting out formulas while you were still spitting up formula.”

“I was breastfed, actually,” Tom responded, mildly weirded out. Y/n’s face contorted in disgust. What the hell was this conversation?

“Nice,” he nodded. “Rub that in my orphan face.”

“Okay,” Y/n spoke up, finally having enough as she pushed the two apart. “Listen, I have no idea who you are and why you are here, but I think you should be leaving.”

“Ooh, fiesty one,” the man nodded, narrowing his eyebrows at you to the point that the folds on his forehead nearly overlapped one another. “Doctor Robotnik, I-”

A sudden thump sounded from the kitchen, startling the man enough to make him shut up. Tom and Y/n froze, running through every possible excuse in their minds as to what that could have been that wasn’t Sonic. Y/n turned to Robotnik and offered him the best sheepish smile she could muster.

“Um… Racoons?”

Robotnik gave her a fake smile and shouldered his way into the house. Y/n and Tom scrambled to follow him, praying to god that their little blue friend wasn’t sitting on the kitchen counter. Thankfully, once they reached the kitchen, they were greeted with a friendly racoon, shoveling handfuls of celebratory cake into its mouth. Y/n breathed a small sigh of relief through her mouth.

“See? Racoons.” Tom spoke defiantly, placing his hands on his hips. Y/n began to search the room quietly for any sign of Sonic while Robotnik was preparing to leave. They had almost gotten him out the door when he stopped and backtracked. In confusion, Y/n and Tom followed his gaze and their hearts stopped.

He slowly held up the lone electric blue quill for all to see.

“Looks like I was right,” a shit-eating grin formed on his face. “Note the lack of surprise.” He pointed to his monotone expression and Y/n could already tell that she fucking hated him. She slowly began to back away from him when a floating egg shaped orb harnessing a bright red laser became very interested in Tom. Y/n’s heart raced, back growing tense as she began to hesitantly back away until Robotnik gave her a warning glare. 

She wasn’t going anywhere.

“So, let’s try this again. Where. Is. It?”

“Look, man, leave her out of this. We have no idea what ‘it’ is,” Tom exclaimed, beginning to hold his hands up in surrender. Robonik simply shook his head and pushed some buttons on the gloves that he was wearing. 

“I hate liars. You have five seconds to tell me where it is. Five… Four…” He began to count down, Y/n only being able to watch in horror as the white orb came ever closer to her father, the menacing light flashing. Daring someone to challenge it. Tom stared, his facade crumbling with every second that was counted down, trying desperately to find a way out. Things were looking to death when a sudden electric blue blur shot out from behind the counter and stood in front of Y/n, hands outspread in protection.

“Wait!” Sonic cried. “Don’t hurt them!”

Y/n looked down at the little hedgehog in shock, and was startled when Robotnik let out the most girlish scream anyone had ever heard come from the pipes of a man. Then Tom punched him in the face. 

“Yes, go Dad!” Y/n whooped as the Doctor crumpled onto the floor, unconscious. Their victory was short lived, however, as the second she finished talking, she was dragged behind the counter by Sonic to avoid getting hit in the face by a laser beam. The three watched in horror as the Wachowski’s custom designed kitchen became destroyed by the angry red bots, shooting around with no instructions as their master was now taking a nap on the floor. Before Y/n even had the chance to ask what they should do, they noticed that Sonic was already missing. Looking frantically around the room, Tom motioned up to one of the kitchen cupboards, and sure enough, there was Sonic preparing to jump onto one of the bots that was probably scanning for their heat signatures or something equally significant. The two shook their heads rapidly, but Sonic simply gave them one of the most adorable sassy nods Y/n had ever seen. He leapt onto the robot, trying desperately to smack it as it spun around like a horse without a head.

“This-was a… horrible idea!” Sonic screamed before he got flung off the robot, sailing through the air, and landing straight into Y/n’s arms. He offered her a sheepish smile, and Y/n rolled her eyes, a smile still playing across her lips. She set him down just in time to see her dad knock the bot out with a frying pan. It careened to a halt and collapsed onto the ground. 

“Alright,” Y/n nodded, kicking it once with the scuff of her shoe for good measure. “Shall we get out of here?”

“Yes, please.”

♡♡♡

The three runaways were able to pull out of the driveway just as a bunch of other Men in Black vans were pulling up to the house. Tom sat behind the wheel while Sonic sported a shotgun, and Y/n crouched in the middle of the backseat with no seatbelt. Because this was living on the dark side, and on the dark side, we don’t wear seatbelts.

“Okay, so now that we aren’t running from scary doctors, what the hell is going on here?” Y/n asked, leaning forward on the console and resting her head in her hand as she turned to Sonic. He leaned his head back against the seat and sighed.

“Well, I just might have been the reason for that big power explosion… and now people after me. To make things worse, I lost my rings to a place that I’ve only ever seen on your dad’s skin tight T-shirt, and I have to make it to the Mushroom Planet or else I’m putting everyone here in danger.” He finally took in a deep gulp of air after pulling out that whole explanation in one breath. Y/n furrowed her brows in concern.

“Mushroom Planet?” Tom asked, his lips pressing into a firm line. 

“You must have lost them in San Francisco,” Y/n said. Suddenly, Tom jerked the wheel to the right and pulled off to the side of the road, unlocking the doors in the process.

“Alright, get out.” Y/n and Sonic stared at him in confusion.

“I’m sorry, what?” Sonic narrowed his eyes slightly. Tom leaned forwards and opened the passenger side door for him, running a hand down his face.

“Look, this is the worst time for me to be getting into trouble with the law and my daughter doesn’t really need a track record. So, you can go off and have good luck with finding your weird little Mushroom Planet. I’ll hopefully wake up in a hospital room soon with a successful colonoscopy and a happy, totally sane teenage daughter, so goodbye.”

“What? Dad!” Y/n started to object, her blood boiling in irritation at his insensitivity. Sonic shook his head and gave her a half-hearted smile as he slipped out of the car. 

“It’s okay, Y/n. Goodbye, I guess…” But instead of leaving, he just stood there. Staring. Y/n turns to stare at her father too to double the effect. 

“Why aren’t you leaving?” He groaned in frustration.

“How the hell is he supposed to know where San Francisco is?” Y/n laughs, and Tom sighs in defeat, knowing that she’s right. He gives her a half-assed glare, but as usual she was refusing to back down. Sonic doesn’t notice the small smile forming on his own lips, his appreciation for this strangely familiar girl increasing with every second he spent with her.

“It’s West. Straight shot.” Tom finally tells him. Sonic nods.

“Okay. West. Cool. Cool, I’m totally cool with saying goodbye right now,” he exaggerates, swirling his gloved hands around with the hurt clearly evident on his face. 

“I’m not,” Y/n grumbles, pressing her cheek against the rough leather of the driver’s seat. Before anyone could say another word, Sonic shot off in the given direction faster than the speed of sound. Y/n’s jaw drops open along with Tom’s as they look down at the spot where he once was. 

“H-holy shit,” Y/n stuttered. 

“D-did he just-” Tom didn’t even get to finish the sentence before Sonic came back, only this time soaking wet. He was sporting a nice fish on his head and a bunch of seaweed hanging on to his quills, which accented his sarcastic expression perfectly. Y/n tried to stifle her laughter by pouting and turning to her father as he rolled his eyes.

“So, as I crashed into the cold, dark Pacific,” Sonic began, sending a wink in Y/n’s direction. “I noticed a couple things. A, I have no idea where I’m going. B, salt water stings. And C, I shouldn’t even be on this planet right now but I am. Why? Because you shot me.” Sonic’s eyes narrowed.

“I know,” Tom sighed, turning back to the road.

“You shot me!”

“Okay, you don’t need to rub it in,” he sniffed, glancing at Y/n out of the corner of his eye. “She was there too…”

“She didn’t shoot me,” Sonic stood up for her. Y/n gave him a kind smile as he began listing off characteristics on his gloved fingers. “I’m wet, I’m cold, there’s a fish on my head, and clearly I’m not going to be able to do this on my own!” Once he finished, Y/n slowly reached out to him and pushed the fish off his head, watching as it flopped about helplessly on the ground.

“You do owe it to him,” she subtly pressed, leaning back once again in her seat. Tom stayed silent for a moment, staring firmly at the little blue hedgehog for what seemed like forever. Finally he caved and started the ignition once again.

“Fine. Get in.”

“Really?” Sonic and Y/n chimed in hopeful unison. “You’re going to help me?” He shook out his fur at such a high speed that once he finished, it poofed out like a dramaticized afro. Y/n giggled in her seat, not being able to handle how cute it was. Butterflies began to wander around in her stomach.

“I guess it is sort of my fault,” Tom hesitantly admitted. 

“Actually, it’s entirely your fault,” Y/n teased. He gave her a playful shove, but snorted nonetheless. Sonic quickly climbed into the car and slammed the door shut behind him.

“Road trip!” He cheered, looking excitedly around the car. Y/n cheered along with him while still trying to shake the eerily feeling of familiarity. Tom shook his head, squeezing the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white.

“What the hell am I doing with my life?”

♡ a.a.

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic #sonic x reader #sonic the hedgehog x reader #sonic the hedgehog movie #sonic the hedgehog imagines #sonic imagines #sonic the hedgehog movie x reader #sonic the hedgehog movie imagines #flawsome bandits #blue blur x reader #donut lord #pretzel lady #dr robotnik

[icegoddessrukia]

ATLA for send a fandom thingy

the character I least understand: Suki. I do like her but I feel like I can’t get a full grasp on her character for some reason. I need to find some good Suki meta or re-watch her scenes perhaps to understand why she has so many hardcore fans

interactions I enjoyed the most: Team Azula, the Gaang, Iroh and Zuko 

the character who scares me the most: Ozai, Fire Lord Sozin, Koh, and/or that creepy Owl protector from the library. Sozin just outright committing genocide, thinking he’s justified and not giving a fuck about it makes him the scariest  

the character who is mostly like me: Mixture of Aang and Zuko, I relate so much to both of their psychology and backstories 

hottest looks character: They’re mostly all children so gonna pass on talking about hotties. Ty Lee, Katara, Yue, and Azula are very pretty and Jet and Haru (from Imprisoned) are the most handsome. Adult!Aang in Legend of Korra is a hottie though ngl 

one thing I dislike about my fave character: It’s so difficult to actually think about something I dislike about Aang because I mean...it’s Aang. I guess he can be too harsh on himself and run away from his problems instead of taking charge but he grows out of that 

one thing I like about my hated character: Ozai does in my opinion make a great villain, he’s exactly what he’s meant to be; a tyrannical narcissist dictator who strikes fear and represents the absolute worst of the Imperial Fire Nation

a quote or scene that haunts me: Aang envisioning all of the deceased air nomads before him while opening his heart chakra always makes me emotional 

a death that left me indifferent: Zhao because honestly who really got invested in Zhao? I didn’t feel too sorry for him 

a character I wish died but didn’t: None

my ship that never sailed: All of my ships became canon and I’m super happy about that, just wish they would confirm that Mai is Izumi’s mom and Zuko’s wife already!

Really appreciate this ask, thank you! <3 

#atla #Avatar: The Last Airbender

[cassandra-tangled]

Cassandra Appreciation Week Day 5: Happiness

Hey guys! Here’s my one-shot for Cassandra Appreciation Week day 5: happiness. So, I took a little bit of a liberty with this one, it’s a bit experimental and in first person. I’m honestly not too sure how I feel about it, but it was fun to play around with! Also, it does loosely connect to my one-shot for day 1 (here on AO3). Anyway, I hope y’all enjoy! Here’s the AO3 link 

The word count is 2,475

And a brief summary is: Cassandra makes good use of the journal that Rapunzel gave her as a birthday gift. 

The only thing of any concern is some light cursing. Enjoy!

Dear Diary, 

Dear Journal,

Wow. This is really not my speed. 

So, a journal. I don’t really know what to write, I’m not a...journal-ly person. Raps is, sure, but not me. This stupid, leather-bound book was a birthday gift from her, though, so I want to make sure I use it.

Not that Raps would ever snoop into my private life (at least not intrusively enough to read this) but if she did, I hope that last part wouldn’t hurt her feelings. I love the gift, really. It’s only stupid because it’s frusturating me that I don’t know what to write.

I guess I can start with where I got this journal. Like I said, it was a birthday gift from Raps. My birthday was a little under a week ago, now. I didn’t even know it was my birthday, but I turned twenty-eight. I feel old. Raps threw me a dinner. There was good food, cake, and alcohol. I fucking hate parties, but I love my friends, and it was only the five of us. Raps and Eugene got me this book, and a quill, and a knife, and some clothes and other fun things. It was really sweet of them, honestly. They didn’t need to get me anything, I wouldn’t have known the difference. Varian got me a bag of rocks, basically. Wait, that made me sound ungrateful. They’re beautiful rocks, and it was a cute gift. Or are they stones? Or gems?? Or crystals?? Fuck, I’m not a rock expert. But whatever they are, they’re pretty, and he found them all around the kingdom. It’ll be like having Corona with me when I leave again. Oh, and Lance got me a bag of Monty’s candy. Score.

So, I don’t really know what to use this for. I guess if I go back on the road I can...write or doodle in here like Raps did when we were younger. I mean, I’ll probably write, if anything. She’s all about doodles. I wonder how many notebooks she’s filled up by now.

When I asked her what she thought I should do with the journal yesterday, she told me to write about the things that make me happy. That’s a good place to start, I suppose. I’m not her, though. She could probably write a novel and a half on what makes her happy--but not me. Most things make me angry, and I could probably write a novel on that. Screaming children make me angry, although they’re cute when they’re quiet. Parties and social interaction make me angry. People who pronounce ‘vase’ as ‘vayhse’ make me angry (it’s ‘vahz’). Being awake makes me angry. Being asleep makes me angry. Freeloaders and thieves make me angry--reformed ones are okay, though. Most people make me angry. Especially Fitzherbert. Don’t get me wrong, I love him...sometimes. 

But I’m supposed to be talking about things that make me happy. Honestly, I’m hard pressed to think of many, but I can think of some.

My weapons make me happy. I could stare at them for hours, in all honesty--I have so many (thanks Dad), and they’re all beautiful. I love polishing them, and admiring them, and of course...using them. Not in a creepy killer way or anything. Dueling is just really, really fun, and let me just say--I’ve made good use of my Fitzherbert sparring dummy since coming home.

My favorite weapon is my halberd. I keep it well cared for, sharp, polished, and shiny. It was the first weapon Dad gave me, for my eighth birthday. At that point, it towered over me, but not anymore--I’ve had it twenty years now, and it’s rather proportionate. I mean, it’s taller than me because it’s supposed to be, but seriously...watching eight year old me trudge around with it was probably a sight to see. Anyway, he chose it as my first weapon because it’s the weapon of choice for Corona’s guard. I was eight when he started really training me with them. Before, I’d sat on the sidelines and watched, but by eight, I was a full-fledged trainee. People thought he was crazy for raising his daughter to be a guard from such a young age, but I’m glad for it. I wouldn’t be able to protect myself otherwise.

I love all my weapons, though. I couldn’t take my halberd with me on the road, so I took two of my daggers and my favorite sword instead. Oh, how I wanted to take my mace, but it was too heavy to justify. My favorite dagger, I’ve had since I was sixteen. I had a few before it, but my favorite one is absolutely beautiful. It’s probably the most valuable thing that I own. It was a gift, too, a blade carved of steel and the handle of beautiful gold. It’s badass--the handle is carved into this weird...I don’t know, dragon? Lizard? Sea serpent? Whatever it is, it looks cool, and my name is engraved on the blade. The sheath is encrusted with small gems. It’s not from my dad, but from an ‘anonymous castle staff’ or something who leaves me gifts every year. I don’t know why they bother or how they afford it, but I love it. It’s not the most practical, because of the handle, it’s more ornamental. I don’t usually use it in sparring or fights. I didn’t bring it on the road with me, as much as it pained me to leave it home, because of its obvious, glaring value. So, it was nice to see it again when I got back here.

Hmm...I’ve been talking about my weapons for a while. What else makes me happy?

Books. I love books. I grew up with them as, well, my best friends. I was privileged enough to be educated, and educated well. I was reading fluently by the time I was six or seven, and when I wasn’t training, working or otherwise helping my father, you could be sure to find my nose buried in a book. One of the biggest perks of growing up in a castle is the library. I mean, usually, servants can read the book if they please and are able, but aren’t allowed to take the books out with them, or anything like that. I guess Queen Arianna likes me, because I was allowed. My father said it was a special privilege, since I was a learning child, and she valued the concept of book-smart young girls. Anyway, since I started working, I don’t use the library as much anymore--not because I dislike reading nowadays, but because I buy my own books. 

Funny story, here. Growing up, I read a lot of fantasy books, about...you know, damsels in distress and princesses who were saved by handsome knights in shining armor. I used to think that maybe, just maybe, if I trained hard enough, I could be the one to bring the lost princess home, and maybe even…

Well, a rogue thief beat me to it. And it wasn’t even on purpose.

Anyway, back to happy--animals make me happy, too. It doesn’t matter what kind, although I am sort of biased towards a certain owl and two particular horses. I don’t know what it is about animals, but despite the fact that they don’t speak our language, they’re a lot more capable of love and empathy than most humans are. There are a lot of great Coronan horses, but two are particularly dear to me. I remember when Max and Fidella were born, actually. They’re pretty close in age, though I think Max is a tad older--he was born when I was fourteen, and she when I was fifteen. Max was fathered by my father’s previous horse, and by the time he was weaned from his mother, it was clear he’d be taking his father’s place as the Captain’s horse. Fidella was actually born to my childhood favorite horse. I learned to ride on her mother, so it seems only appropriate to me that she became the one to accompany me on my journey. Her mother was a beautiful mare named Eliza. Eliza was quite similar to Fidella in color and stature--she certainly takes after her mother, not her father. Eliza was my first equine love, if you will. For a kid without any friends, a faithful horse can fill the gap. We had a lot of fun together, but she got sick and died a year or two after birthing Fidella. It broke me, honestly. Horses can live to thirty years, and she was only twelve at the time of her death. 

Right, happy. Oh people, I guess. I mean, as I said before, a lot of people piss me off, but some of them are more than okay. Dad is pretty great, and it’s been nice to be back and see him again. I didn’t appreciate him as much as I should have in my childhood--but then, isn’t that the way it goes? Raps is amazing too, and so is the rest of the gang. I don’t know where I’d be today if it weren’t for their fighting so hard to save me and, honestly, I don’t want to imagine. I’d probably be dead. Despite my...occasional bitterness, especially before, I’ve had some of my best times by their side. Actually, I’ve had nearly all of my best times by their side. Before Rapunzel came back and, well, pretty much forced me to be her friend, I had no one. I’m glad she did. If it weren’t for her, I probably would have died without letting anyone in, without having a single friend outside my father, Owl, my weapons and my books. But Rapunzel is…Rapunzel is impossible to resist. I learned eventually that there was no use in even trying to resist her--and she ended up being the best thing that had ever happened to me. She’s the first person I let in, the reason that I know what it means to be a friend (and how to become one), and the sole reason my friendship extended to Eugene, Lance, and Varian.

I mean...I had some dark times. Some really, really dark times. Happiness was the furthest thing from my mind. Instead, I was enraged, jealous, bitter, cold, and most of all, I was hurting. At that point, if you’d asked me, Rapunzel was the worst thing that had happened to me, even though deep down inside I loved her and cared for her more than I ever would have admitted at that point. I did some bad things, some horrible things. In my greed, in my...selfishness and lust for power, I committed some fucking heinous crimes. I hurt all of the people who were most dear to me. I almost caused the downfall of Corona--and the entire world quite easily could have followed.  

Yet still, when it was all said and done, Rapunzel still saw the light in me. Eugene, Lance, Varian, my dad, they all still saw the light in me. Despite all the pain and destruction, despite all the fear and uncertainty and my horrid crimes...they forgave me. They loved me.

I hated myself, and I wanted so badly for them to hate me, too. Maybe it’s what lesser people would have done, or maybe it’s what they should have done. I’m still not quite sure. Either way, they didn’t. They chose the path of forgiveness.  

That’s what love is. 

Rapunzel likes to say that I was never a bad person, and that I just lost my way. I hope that that is true, but honestly, I have no way of knowing. When I think of that time in my life, I’m detached. The memories are vivid and yet blurred. I don’t see that woman as me. I don’t. I can’t believe what I did, that my own two hands committed such offenses. I see that version of myself as a lost, sad, broken woman, descending further and further down a dangerous, shadowy path that would have ended in nothing but pain and destruction. I’d given up on myself. But my friends? They never gave up on me. They saved me from that.

Whether I was truly bad or just horribly lost is beside the point, because that’s not me anymore. It haunts me every waking moment, but it’s in the past. It hangs permanently in the back of my head, but I try to push it away, to ignore it. I’ve changed drastically. I now realize that I have, and always have had, so much to be grateful for. I still yearn for more. It’s almost as if it’s in my nature. But if it’s destined to come to me, then it will be manifested through my hard work. If it’s not, at least I tried.  

Most of the time, for me, happiness is hard to come by. Honestly, it is--even now, even though I realize I have much to be grateful for. It’s not such a bad thing to me, though, because when I do feel happiness...it’s exhilarating. It’s life-altering, and the taste of it sticks to my tongue like Monty’s taffy. When I do feel happiness, it makes all of the pain and all of the suffering that I’ve endured worth it. 

So, what is happiness to me?

Happiness...happiness is sharpening my weapons on a rainy Tuesday afternoon. Happiness is curling up by the fire, nose deep within a book, reading like my life depends on it. Happiness is  dark, windy, winding roads far from home, and the shiver that runs down your back when you realize, ‘I’m deciding my own destiny’. Happiness is a Coronan stable. Happiness is flying from town to town on horseback, meeting new people. Happiness is hunting with Owl, and sitting by the fire with Fidella. Happiness is a cup of ale, a shot of whiskey, and warm food. Happiness is laughing with friends, and melting into their arms after years apart. Happiness is the fact that you converse as if you hadn’t been away at all. Happiness is taking the horses out to the wall with Raps, and bickering with Eugene. Happiness is helping a greasy-handed Varian with one of his many ambitious projects, or screaming at Lance for eating your lunch. Happiness is having tea with Dad, and the prideful joy on his face when he pulls back from a hug. Happiness is loving, whether things, animals, or people. Happiness is being loved in return. 

Most of all, happiness is being alive. 

If it’s true that we only get one life, I’m happy that I’ve had the privilege and opportunity to spend mine the way that I have. 

That’s all for today. It’s time for this girl to get some rest.

Until next time,

Cassandra

#cassandra appreciation week #cass #cassandra #cass tangled #cassandra tangled #cass tts #cassandra tts #cass rta #cassandra rta #tangled #tangled the series #rapunzel's tangled adventure #rapunzels tangled adventure #tts #rta #rapunzel #eugene #eugene fitzherbert #lance #lance strongbow #varian #varian tangled #captain of the guard #corona #kingdom of corona #cap tangled #captain tangled #tangled fic #tangled one shot

[ficsandcatsandficsandcats]

Fic about trains pls

Fandom: The Witcher, Harry PotterPairing: Jaskier x ReaderWord Count: 1,108Rating: GTaglist: @heroics-and-heartbreak @whatevermonkey  @mynamesoundslikesherlock @magic-multicolored-miracle @writingstudent @coffee-and-stories @ultracolorfulnerdcollection @mlleecrivaine  a/n: Hey gang, this is my boyfriend who loves trains. I read him the Harry Potter series the first year we were together so it felt only right to choose this train for the fic. Enjoy!

The train cars were packed with excited youths, running around with their matching black robes and different colors indicating their house affiliation. You’d gotten there early to try and get a good seat but you weren’t early enough, it seemed, and most of the seats were filled by children who openly gaped at you and whispered to each other as you passed by. Not many adults rode the Hogwarts Express but you wanted to get a feel for the students you would be teaching as you took your post as Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Professor Potter was taking a sabbatical to go on tour with his wife as the Holyhead Harpies competed abroad and you’d been grateful to snatch up the posting. It had been some years since your own time at Hogwarts but you still thought of the time with fondness, if a little bit of trepidation. The school was a death trap, bless it.

Just as the Hogwarts Express blew the final whistle announcing its departure and you felt it lurch beneath your feet, you spotted a nearly empty car. You opened the door to peek in and politely ask if you could take a seat but the train lurched again and you were knocked off balance, landing face first in the arms of a stranger. Thankfully, it was another adult, which meant collapsing in a sudden embrace just a tad less awkward than if it had been a child. His sky blue eyes widened in surprise and then twinkled with amusement, mouth quirking into a smile as he helped you right yourself.

“They’ve really improved the options on the snack cart since I rode last,” he joked. You blushed and took the seat opposite from him, asking if you could take it seeming to be a moot point since you’d already been in his lap.

“I don’t think you could afford me,” you retorted playfully, “Get a chocolate frog instead.”

“More of a Bertie Bott’s man myself,” he replied.

“Glutton for punishment?” you asked, remembering a terrible incident your first year involving a particularly nasty bean.

“Nah, just don’t shy away from risks. Keeps life fun,” he volleyed, pulling a box he’d apparently already purchased from his cloak pocket and offering one to you. You politely waved him off and he shrugged, tossing one in his mouth without care.

“So, tell me, what’s a grown woman like you doing in a coal-driven kindergarten like this?” he asked.

“I begin work tomorrow. I’m a professor at the school. Well, I will be a professor,” you corrected, still adjusting to your new title.

“Oh brilliant! You’re taking the DADA position then?” he asked. You nodded and he brightened though he fixed you with what he tried to make a solemn expression. “You know, the position is cursed.”

You rolled your eyes but laughed.

“Yes I’ve heard,” you said, “But Potter seems to be doing just fine so far.”

“Well he does alright but I’ve found that he sometimes needs help here and there. You know he didn’t finish 7th year,” the man joked.

“I know, it’s insane how they just let you go off skipping school years for silly little things like saving the world,” you replied with a deep sigh. The man grinned at you and extended a hand.

“Jaskier. Well, Julian Alfred Pankratz but only the students call me Professor Pankratz. Everyone else calls me Jaskier,” he said. You took his hand and shook it, smiling at him as you introduced yourself.

“Y/N, apparently your new colleague! What do you teach?” you asked, reluctantly taking your hand back.

“Charms,” he answered. You nearly laughed, of course this man taught charms. Charm oozed out of his pores. If he had any. Beautiful bastard.

“Oh so Flitwick isn’t teaching anymore?” you asked.

“Nah, he retired shortly after Potter joined the staff. He’s off in Barbados or something having the time of his life conjuring mimosas with tiny umbrellas I’m sure,” Jaskier replied. You smiled fondly as you thought of your old professor.

“Why are you riding the train if you’re a professor?” you inquired.

“I like it better than the thestrals,” he answered, “Hagrid would have my head for saying it but they’re just so creepy.”

“Hagrid is still there?” you asked, brightening at the mention of your favorite Hogwarts staff member.

“Of course,” Jaskier laughed, “He’ll outlive us all and he’ll be carrying on teaching and groundskeeping while he does it.”

“Some things never change, then. Good,” you said decidedly.

“And some things do change, which can also be good,” Jaskier said, smiling at you meaningfully.

The train rumbled along the tracks as you and Jaskier talked some more about your time at Hogwarts including how you’d managed to miss each other.

“I spent most of my time with the rest of the Slytherins,” Jaskier admitted, “And I didn’t go to class much. Just enough to score well on my OWLS and not a bit more.”

“I was usually in the library or the common room with my friends. Sometimes I’d sneak out to the kitchens and meet up with my Hufflepuff friends in the middle of the night,” you confided.

“Let me guess, Gryffindor?” he asked.

“Gods no, Ravenclaw,” you scoffed, feeling slightly guilty for your strong reaction as you thought of your close Gryffindor friends. He held up his hands in surrender.

“Yes I can see it now,” he said, “You have a certain librarian quality to you.”

“Indeed?” you mused, “It’s the cardigan, isn’t it?”

“Well that does help,” he admitted, “But more so your general aura. You give off a vibe of being someone you should not fuck with. Tragically, as a Slytherin, that only provokes my interest more, eager to test the boundaries and learn what would happen if I did.”

You swallowed hard and fixed your eyes at the quickly passing land outside, lush green fields with grazing sheep and quaint cottages dotting the landscape. You could feel Jaskier’s eyes on you and you could picture him in school. He’d have been one of the boys you rolled your eyes at for making a ruckus in the library. Your thoughts briefly flitted to other kinds of mischief you could get up to in the library but you quickly dismissed those thoughts. You were colleagues and there were standards to uphold. Still as you spent the rest of the train ride deep in conversation you couldn’t help but wonder what new memories you might make at your old alma mater, and how many of them may feature the handsome Charms professor with the wicked grin and pale blue eyes.

#Anonymous #jaskier x reader #jaskier imagines #jaskier fluff #The Witcher x HP Crossover

[noonachronicles]

You, Me, and Satan Himself

Lee Jooheon X Reader

Word count: 6.5k

Warnings: mild language. there are a couple of mentions of suicide/attempted suicide, not member or reader related. also mentions of child death, also not member or reader related. ummm I think that’s it. 

Genre: bffs to lovers. idiots to lovers. alludes fwb but not LJH/Reader. It’s got some spooky themes, but ultimately it’s fluff.

A/N: It’s a Halloweeeeeen story! Ghosts and ghouls, firemen and pirates and of course Satan himself. ;D Happy Birthday @nemesyis! This one is for you. It’s not really an attack story, but I hope you enjoy it anyway! 

Wind was howling through the naked branches of the trees that lined the path you were on. The brisk chill of the fall air made you shiver. Much to your chagrin the dress and tights combo of your costume was doing almost nothing to keep the cold from consuming you. Clicking of your black lolita heels against the pavement beneath you echoed down the avenue you were walking down. Luckily it was a full moon, which meant that the path was fully visible despite the lack of lights. It might have been romantic if you weren’t mentally preparing yourself to be spooked. Focusing in on the sound of every branch that cracked, every hoot of an owl, every flicker of movement in your peripherals was being noted and you were thrilled by the way it all made the blood tingle in your veins. The only thing putting you off was the chattering of your teeth. It was hard to focus on getting in the mood when you couldn’t stop thinking about how cold you were.

“I told you to bring a jacket.” Jooheon muttered beside you.

“A jacket doesn’t go with this costume.” you advised him for the hundredth time that night. “And the dress has sleeves...I thought it would be warmer.”

“Yeah well my costume doesn’t require a jacket either, so thanks for that.” he complained.

Stopping, you looked over at your very grumpy best friend. It was cute, his outfit. Plaid button down shirt tucked into brown cargo shorts. Round glasses sat on his nose. Pocket protector, complete with pens, sat against his chest. Tube socks pulled all the way up his calves and dirty sneakers on his feet. Every little detail made you smile, you’d done wonderfully putting it together for him, you knew there was even an inhaler in his pocket. He was the perfect Joel Glicker to your Wednesday Addams.

“Honey…” you said lifting your hand to his cheek as he pouted at you, “you look so cute. Thank you for being the best best friend a girl could ask for. I promise that next year I will have a boyfriend of my own and I’ll make him do couples costumes with me, and then you’ll never have to deal with it again.”

He sighed deeply and then gave a tight smile, you still caught a glimpse of his dimple, “It’s fine.”

Once the two of you got moving again you fell back into a comfortable silence, like the pair of you usually did. Instead of going back to your mood setting thoughts you considered Jooheon. He really was the greatest guy you knew. Growing up neighbors left him destined to be either your best friend or worst enemy and at different points in your life he’d been both.

From toddler to teen you were inseparable. Then at some point you couldn’t remember hormones tore you apart. That was when he met the boys. You could still remember how jealous you’d been that first summer watching them hanging out all the time, wishing it was still you he wanted to spend his time with. You’d tried making new friends but mostly became a recluse, playing video games all the time and reading libraries worth of books. In high school you got your first boyfriend, an athlete in the year ahead of you, and you dated for three years. On the first day of summer before your senior year he ditched you because he wanted to be single for university.

You never knew how he’d heard about the break up, you never asked, but the very next day when you had convinced yourself you were never leaving your blanket burrito ever again Jooheon showed up. The moment he walked into your room, after your mom had let him in the house, it was like there had never even been a second that you were apart. He spent every single day with you that summer. Even if he’d had plans with the boys, he always dragged you along. You barely spent a second alone and by the time senior year started you had practically forgotten you’d ever had a boyfriend in the first place. From then on you were back to inseparable even now as adults.

“I hate this.” he grumbled beside you.

The shrubbery along the path was thickening and it was getting darker the further you moved along. You reached over and grabbed his hand, squeezing your fingers around his.

“Don’t worry so much. I’ll protect you, I swear.” you smiled over at him. “We’re almost there.”

There was the sound of another snapping branch from the trees and you could feel his body vibrate in fear, “We’re going to die, I hope you know. This is the worst night of my whole life because I’m going to die...dressed like a nerd.”

“Thank you.” you said again.

“For what? Dying with you on this cold, dark, abandoned path to some haunted house in the middle of nowhere?”

“Kind of,” you laughed quietly, “Thank you for coming with me tonight. I know you would have much preferred to stay at the party picking up chicks. Instead you came with me and that means a lot.”

“Oh,” he seemed to ease at your words and even puffed out his chest slightly, “It’s cool. Honestly, no big deal at all. I didn’t want to be at that party if you weren’t going to be there anyway. And yes, this may be a weird, creepy idea that I hate more than anything, but you know I’d do anything for you.”

You squeezed his hand again and smiled, “I love you, Honey.”

He rolled his eyes but smiled all the same, “I love you too.”

“We’re so close, the house is right up here, just around that curve.” you couldn’t help your excitement and you moved faster down the path.

As you had nearly reached the end of the path, the abandoned house in your sight, you could see a large dark mass speeding towards you, but you didn’t process it fast enough. Not until the cloaked figure was already rawring loudly into your face. Jumping back you clutched your chest, heart racing. Seconds passed and you finally registered Changkyun’s laughter, and your eyes adjusted enough to see his devilish face clearly. Jooheon was long gone, having sprinted back down the path quite a ways, he was still shrieking.

“That’s so fucked, Kyun.” you let out a large breath.

Devil horns atop his head, he held up his finger, an evil grin on his lips, “Just wait, it gets better.”

By then Jooheon’s screams had petered down. When you looked down the path to the silhouette of his figure you could see he was making his way, slowly, back to you. He was still several yards away when you saw the two new dark figures creeping out of the brush behind him. It was very clear he hadn’t noticed their presence yet.

“No, my poor Honey.” you mumbled, “Minhyuk?”

“And Hyungwon.” Changkyun snickered beside you.

After just a moment more of silence you could hear their collective “Boo!” as they lunged towards Jooheon. The sound of his screaming and cursing echoed through the night as he sprinted full speed back to you.

“Assholes!” he shouted, “All my friends are assholes!”

He clung to you as he panted, catching his breath and you gently patted his back, “You’re not wrong about that.”  

“I knew it was going to be good,” Minhyuk said still laughing as he and Hyungwon made it to the group, “but that was so much better than I ever expected.”

After finishing rolling your eyes you saw a flicker of light bouncing its way out of the front of the building.

“Shownu!” you called out cheerfully as you recognized the man behind the flashlight in his fireman costume. He gave a small wave as he made his way over. “Where’s everyone else?”

“Kihyun and Hoseok met some people at the party.” He shrugged as he moved out of the hug he’d given you. “Hoseok said to say sorry. Kihyun said to tell you he was not sorry and that if you couldn’t understand you weren’t really friends.”

You laughed, knowing that it was likely that’s exactly what he said. “Wait so you just went in all by yourself?”

“Yeah, no one was here when I got here so I went in and took a look around. Not very exciting as far as haunted houses go. I didn’t find any workers. There’s no smoke machines or creepy music.” he said sounding very unimpressed.

“Nunu…” you shook your head, “Oh sweet man, it’s not a haunted house, it’s just creepy and abandoned.”

“Ohh.” he nodded in understanding, “That makes more sense.”

Jooheon quickly went from clinging to you to clinging to the pillar of muscle and fearlessness that was Shownu. “Full offense to everyone else here, who sucks, but dibs on Nu as my partner.”

“Dibs on y/n.” Minhyuk said throwing his arm over your shoulder, “Unintentionally wearing couples costumes and everything.”

You looked him up and down in confusion, “Min, you’re a pirate. How are we at all a couples costume?”

“You see, after tonight, when you’re wowed by my courage, strength, and overall ability to protect you, you won’t be able to resist me.” you did your best to hold back a snort, “After that, we will be a couple and then no matter what our outfits are they will always be couples outfits. ...because, you know, we’ll be a couple.”

“I think I got it.” you laughed.

As he’d been talking everyone, with the exception of Minhyuk himself, watched as Hyungwon slipped silently behind the brazen pirate. In a swift motion he reached out, grabbing his hips, with a quick boo! Minhyuk jumped about a foot in the air, his pirate hat was thrown off his head and his shrill shriek pierced the cold air.

“Yeah...good luck in there, y/n.” Hyungwon said shooting you a wink.

“She’s a goner for sure.” Changkyun smirked.

“Alright, alright.” you said anxiously, “Let’s do this. I don’t want to be standing out here until the sun comes up.”

Pushing through the group you made your way to the dark house. The pirate and the devil followed closely behind, the others with slightly less enthusiasm. Once you hit the porch steps of the old colonial house you pulled your flashlight from the pocket of your dress. One of the double doors had been broken or removed and was leaning against the door frame. It wasn’t really breaking and entering, you thought to yourself, just entering really.

You ducked through the open door to avoid the giant cobweb in the corner. Inside the house was covered in a thick layer of dirt and dust. Dead leaves scattered across the floor as far as your eyes could see and you wondered just how long the front door had been down. Rebellious teenagers had left graffiti a top the peeling wallpaper. There were giant holes all along the walls and you were sure there wasn’t a foot of copper wiring left in the old bones of the home.

The foyer was huge and as the beam of your flashlight moved over it you could just imagine how beautiful it had been in its youth. There was a staircase to the second floor to the left of the room. Beyond it were two hallways leading off in opposite directions. You looked over at the giant landing at the base of the staircase and nodded to yourself.

“Changkyun,” you said and flashed your light over at the area, “how about here?”

He nodded in agreement, “Perfect.”

He handed you candle after candle from a brown satchel at his side to light and place around the area. When the fireman, Glicker, and Hyungwon as the ghoul all made it inside the whole group of you got comfortable, or as comfortable as you could, on the landing of the staircase. The devil stayed standing, his red cloak swooped around his legs and the light from the candles lit up his face dramatically as he prepared to tell the group about the history of the home. The shadow of his horns illuminated against the wall behind him.

“The year,” Changkyun began, “was eighteen oh six. Doctor Leonardo Fitz had just wed the love of his life, Maria Vanderson. As a grand gesture of his love for her he had this house built just for her and what was meant to be their large, happy family. However, after many years had passed the halls of the home remained without the laughter of children. It seemed that the couple was not fated for the family they had dreamed of. Maria was devastated and heartbroken, believing herself to be at fault for their misfortune. Unable to take the guilt of it all she attempted to drown herself in the couple's claw footed bathtub, that remains upstairs to this very day.”

Jooheon let out a hiss of a breath and burrowed closer to you.

“Maria Vanderson was unsuccessful at her death, found too quickly by the house maid and dragged from the water. Though when she woke her husband feared the damage had already been done. His wife had become delusional. Nightmares haunted her sleep and visions attacked her in the light of day. To anyone who would give her a minute of their time she babbled on about what had happened in her time in the great beyond. She spoke of a man that had come to her just before the light took her for good.

The man with eyes as black as the darkest night sky pressed the palm of his clawed hand against her flat stomach. Locking his dark stare with her fearful one he whispered, ‘my son’. A little over a month after the incident occurred they found out that Maria was pregnant. The doctor, desperate for an excuse for his wives apparent insanity, blamed her delusions on the pregnancy hormones. Nine months to the very day of her attempted suicide, Maria gave birth.”

“Nooooo.” Minhyuk gasped. You bit your lip to keep from laughing at the look of absolute horrified realization on his face.

“What?” Jooheon asked with morbid curiosity, even as he wrapped himself even tighter around you.

Minhyuk looked over at him with raised eyebrows and mouthed, “It’s the devils baby!”

Changkyun sighed in annoyance. “Well if Minhyuk is just going to spoil everything what’s the point of even going on with the story.”

“Oh, Kyunnie, please!” You pouted cutely, “It’s so good and you worked so hard on all that research.”

“I did.” He nodded smugly, “I researched the entire history of this home…  So I will continue, but everyone better keep their theories to themselves.”

“Sorry,” Minhyuk said as he coward at the pointed look from his junior.

“What had been more shocking than the timing of Maria’s labor,” he started once more, “was that she gave birth to twin boys. One with flaxen hair like his father, the others black as a raven’s feather.”

Minhyuk let out another dramatic gasp but quickly slammed his hand over his mouth.

Changkyun continued, “Both boys grew up portraits of health and seemingly as normal as any other child might. The only difference between them besides the color of their hair was that Damian, the raven haired child, had been fussier than his brother Gabriel. He required much more attention but only that from his mother was able to comfort him. As they aged the changes and differences between them became more and more clear. Gabriel was a playful, independant boy that enjoyed spending his time outside in the sun. He liked to run around the giant yard, swinging on the swing set, and climbing trees. He liked to be dirty and to laugh.

Damien did not enjoy those things. He was quiet, an observer of the things around him. Even though he was just a boy he still knew things about the people in the home, their secrets.  He preferred to do whatever his mother was doing, always at her side. She called him her little shadow and adored him with every ounce of her being. The doctor did not feel the same way about the boy. He felt he could see a darkness in the child and was watching it grow every day. It terrified the doctor to see how he manipulated Maria and the others in the house into loving him.

One afternoon Maria had been getting ready for a gala she was to attend with the doctor. She’d been in front of her vanity doing her makeup. The boys had been running up and down the hallway and in the playroom quite loudly. After some time had passed she realized the house had grown silent.”

“I don’t like it,” Jooheon whispered just to you, and pressed his face into your shoulder. You squeezed his hand comfortingly and listened to Changkyun go on.

“When she stepped from the bedroom into the hallway the only thing she could see was Damien at the top of the stairs holding a wooden toy airplane at his side. As she moved closer to her son she could see the mortifying view at the bottom of the stairs. Her fair haired boy laid mangled across the bottom step, blood oozing around him. She wrapped Damien in her arms, pressing his face to her chest to protect him from the sight. The help claimed they could her screams for hours after, just echoing up and down the halls. Maybe we’ll even hear them tonight.”

“Wait...these stairs?!” Hyungwon asked in a panic, shooting up from the bottom step he’d been sitting on. He cleared his throat and said a little more casually, “I mean ...these stairs?”

“One and the same.” Changkyun confirmed.

“What...that’s it?” Shownu asked high key unimpressed. You watched as Hyungwon slowly made his way from the staircase to the opposite side of the circle, otherwise unnoticed.

“Worry not, the story doesn’t end there.”

“Oh god damn it.” Jooheon groaned beside you.

“Alright, everyone, settle down and focus.” Changkyun waited for everyone’s attention before going on with the story. “Doctor Leo knew right away what had happened to his son and was furious. He wanted to get rid of the evil boy. However, Maria loved her son and she refused to believe the ravings of a madman. One day while she’d been out the doctor had even brought a priest into the home to try and exorcise the boy. Maria was enraged when she arrived home. Unable to handle the pained cries of the only child she had left, she tore the restraints from his body and banned the clergy from her home.

A decade had passed and the doctor’s fear and anger had torn him and Maria apart. They stayed on opposite sides of the home. She refused to speak to him because every time she did he would just say some hurtful things to her about Damien. The doctor began to drink heavily, he was falling apart having lost his son and then his wife.

On his fifteenth birthday, what would have been Gabriels as well, Maria took her son into the city for lunch and then to the zoo. When they arrived back home they found the doctor had ended his own life. Unable to handle the evil consuming the home any longer. His limp, lifeless body was found hanging from the railing, just there,” Changkyun pointed up to the railing of the second floor that was broken, leaving dangerous open gaps, “He’d made a noose out of bed sheets.”

“Two down, one to go.” Hyungwon joked, though he eyed the railing warily

“He won’t kill the mom.” Shownu argued. Both Minhyuk and Jooheon shuddered at the thought.

You sighed, “Come on, guys. He’s almost to the best part.”

“Which is?” Shownu asked.

“The end.” Jooheon grumbled.

“The best part is when he finally gets to the reason we’re really here.” you corrected.

“Just get it over with then.” Minhyuk whined, pulling his knees to his chest.

“For three years following the death of the doctor, mother and son lived here quite harmoniously. The only complaints to be had were from the help. Maids and gardeners often complaining about the property being overrun by creatures that always ended up dead. In the home and around it they found rats, cats, birds, foxes, rabbits, and snakes. As if they’d come to the house for the sole purpose of dying.

One afternoon, not long after Damien’s eighteenth birthday, Maria was just coming home from a short trip to the city. Out on the lawn, she found the old gardener facedown on the ground, dead.  When she ran inside the maid and the cook where both here in the foyer. Deep gashes like those from the claws of an animal covered their bodies. Blood was seeping from their wounds. She could see, dug into the wood flooring, were marks left by the cooks nails as she’d been dragged down the hall. Terrified for her son’s life, Maria searched the whole house for Damien. She found the door of the study, the last place she’d checked, slightly ajar. She peered inside and what she saw made her sick with fear.

Her son was standing in the center of the room with his eyes closed and naked as the day he was born. Behind him the fireplace was burning and she watched with wide eyes as a horned beast stepped out from the flames half man, half animal. Ten feet tall it had hoven feet and eyes as black as the darkest night. In his clawed hands he held a gold chalice. He spoke in a language she could not understand and from the chalice poured what seemed like an endless stream of dark red blood on top of her son’s head.

In a voice she’d heard before the beast whispered, my son.

Damien’s eyes opened under the shower of blood, and she gasped when she saw they were as black as his fathers. The door swung open, exposing her. The last thing she saw was the sick twisted smile of her demon son as his father came for her.  

Some people say you can hear the sound of hoven feet against the hardwood floor, the pained screams of Maria, the giggles of young Gabriel, and warnings from the doctor himself, whispered against your ear, begging you to leave this damned home.”

“I’ve seen the fireplace in the study. It’s huge. The devil coming out of it,” Shownu shrugged, “that’s actually pretty believable.”

“The devil!” Jooheon whined, “That’s so much worse than just a regular ghost story! I hate this, I’m gonna be sick.”

“Who is going to explain why we’re here?” Shownu asked, “I thought that would be made clear.”

“We’re here to find the chalice.” Changkyun answered. “Somewhere in this haunted old house is the devil's cup. We will go in our pairs and search until it’s found or the sun has risen.”

“What do we get if we find it?” Hyungwon asked intrigued.

“Pride, honor, a golden chalice to drink all of your future drinks out of.” you said as if the answer were obvious. “Also, the winning team gets breakfast paid for by the losers.”  

“Yeah, we’re winning. Let’s go.” With that Shownu grabbed Jooheon by the wrist and dragged him down the hall to the left.

“Game on.” Changkyun said with a wicked laugh before running upstairs with Hyungwon hot on his devils tail.

~~

The house was much scarier than you expected it to be. It might not have been that bad if it weren’t for the fact that Minhyuk was trembling with fear everywhere the two of you went. You’d searched the kitchen and the dining room together. The pair of you clung desperately to each other with every step you took down in the basement. You were sure if the chalice had been down there you’d missed it. The only thing you were focused on while you were down there was getting back upstairs and Minhyuk had been much worse off than you. He made you search the study by yourself while he stood by the door holding a shaking flashlight in your general direction. The pair of you passed by Shownu and Jooheon on the way to the sitting room and the sun room on the opposite side of the house.

Once you were sure you’d been to every room downstairs you went upstairs. In the children’s room, instead of the chalice you found a dust covered, wooden toy airplane. When you showed it to Minhyuk he screamed and for several minutes you were certain he was going to cry. Then, walking across the hall from one bedroom to another, a toy ball rolled passed your feet and Minhyuk swore he heard a child’s laughter. Though the whole situation made your chest tight with fright, part of you was also sure that Changkyun had something to do with it. Especially since you hadn’t seen him or Hyungwon the entire time you’d been upstairs.  

The two of you were headed to the master bedroom next. Minhyuk was a few feet in front of you. He passed by an open bedroom door without a second thought but a quiet whistling from the room caught your attention. You’d looked everywhere in the small room, and were standing nervously in front of the closet when Minhyuk called your name from down the hall. You turned to call back to him but when you opened your mouth a hand slammed down against your lips. Screaming into the hand, you were dragged backwards into the closet and the door closed in front of you.

“God, Y/n, stop screaming.” Changkyun whispered against your ear and spun you around.

“What the hell, you scared the fuck out of me.” you hissed as your eyes started to adjust to the darkness.

“All of the fuck?” he grinned, “Not even a little fuck left for me?”

“Apologize,” you whispered, sliding your hand from his chest to his hip, “maybe then I can find a fuck for you.”

He leaned in and dragged the tip of his nose from your throat to the base of your ear and whispered back, “I’m sorry I scared you.”

You hummed in pleasure, “Oh, look, I think I found one.”

“Mm, that’s good.” he said before leaving kisses along your neck, pulling the soft skin between his teeth until you were groaning. You squirmed beneath his hands as they pinned your hips against the wall.

“Kiss me for real.” you whined. He lifted his face to yours and let you pull his lips between yours. You kissed him for a full minute before you realized he wasn’t kissing back. “What? What’s wrong? Why aren’t you kissing me?”

He cupped your face in his hands with a smile, “Nothing’s wrong.”

“Okay, then kiss me.”

He leaned in again, this time pressing his lips against yours in a true kiss. His tongue slipped between your teeth and you pulled his hips closer, practically slamming them into yours. He kept you pressed against the old, dirty wall of the bedroom closet until your lips were sore and swollen and you weren’t sure which tongue was his and which was yours. When he finally pulled away, he kept his eyes on you for a moment as you caught your breath.  

Then he pressed a sweet kiss against your forehead and smiled, “We had fun right?”

“What? Why did you say it like that? Had?” you asked confused.

“That was our last kiss, kiddo.” he said as if it was just any ordinary conversation.

“What?”

“Jooheon is going to ask you out later.”

“What?”

He chuckled, “You should say yes. He likes you, is in love with you, likes you.”

“What?”

He grabbed your face in his palms, “Please stop saying what.”

“Um,” you looked at him trying to process but not being able to, “What?”

“Jooheon, you remember him?” he asked. You nodded, “He’s in love with you. He’s going to ask you out on a date. A real date, not just you two being besties like you’ve always been. I really think you need to say yes. I think you want to say yes. He really wants to be with you and you deserve that.”

“So...what does that mean, you don’t” you asked feeling a little hurt.

“Oh baby girl, I don’t want to be with anyone. I’m just having fun and we did that, right? You had fun?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

He frowned seeing how upset you were, “You want more than secret rendezvous every once in awhile. I’m not totally clueless. I know you’ve been wanting more from me for awhile now.”

“I guess I was the clueless one.” you sighed.

“No” he said, “what I do just isn’t for everyone. You deserve more. You deserve real dates where you go out to dinner and then get ice cream after. You deserve sleepovers that end in you falling asleep together on the couch while the movie is still running. You deserve someone that’s going to drag you around everywhere and tell anyone who’ll listen that you’re his girl, because nothing makes him more proud than being with you.”

A small smile found its way to your lips, “Honey.”

“Exactly.” Changkyun smiled.

“You really think he loves me? I mean, I know he loves me like a best friend but…”

“He would not be trembling his way through this dark abandoned home on Halloween night, if it wasn’t for you. He would do anything for you and he’d do it because he loves you. Loves you loves you.” He shook his head as if amused, “You love him back, you know. There’s nothing you wouldn’t do for that delicate little man.”

“What if it’s not supposed to be like that. What if it ruins our friendship?” you bit your lip.

“You would never let that happen, either of you.” Changkyun said with certainty, “You’ll never let him out of your life, and he’ll never let you out of his. Even if things go horribly wrong, which I guarantee they won't, you two are going to have each other forever.”

~~~

It wasn’t totally clear how long you’d been in that closet with Changkyun but you knew it had probably been too long. Minhyuk was nowhere to be found upstairs and you immediately felt horrible having left him alone for so long. You had run into Hyungwon who asked if you’d seen Changkyun and you gave a vague response about him maybe being in the master bedroom before heading downstairs again.

Your flashlight had gone dead just before you’d run into Hyungwon, so you were pretty desperate to find your partner. The way down the stairs was slow going as you cautiously felt for each step before moving forward. Midway down the light from a flashlight hit you in the face. You squinted, unable to see who was coming up the stairs.

“Hey!” Jooheon grabbed your arms looking panicked, “Where were you?”

“I was just searching upstairs. What’s wrong? Are you okay?” You asked concerned.

He dropped his hands to his sides with relief, “We ran into Minhyuk, he said he lost you. I’ve been looking everywhere for you. I was so worried. Where’s your flashlight?”

“Oh...it died. You were worried about me? You searched a dark abandoned house for me all by yourself?” You grinned.

“Well...yeah. I just, I didn’t want you to be alone or get hurt or something.”

I wasn’t,” you paused, he didn’t need to know you weren’t exactly alone, “I was okay. Thank you for coming to find me though.”

You looked over your shoulder at the sound of footsteps on the stairs and nodded at Changkyun as he passed the two of you, Hyungwon following close behind. You watched him all the way down the stairs and into the dinning room before looking back at Jooheon. He looked from you to where Changkyun has disappeared and then back again.

“You were alone, right?” He asked quietly.

“Mostly…”

He bit his lip nervously as he looked up at you, “Do you want to be with him?”

“Be with who?” You gulped.

“Kyun. Are you into him?”

A small smile spread across your lips, “No, actually I think I might be into someone else.”

“Oh.” His shoulder fell with disappointment. “You never told me about anyone new. Usually you tell me that kind of stuff.”

“He’s not really new. I’ve known him for awhile.”

Jooheon’s face creased in confusion, “Who do you know that I don’t know?”

“I never said you didn’t.” You laughed.

“Someone we both know and it’s not Changkyun?” He asked. You could see the gears turning in his mind. “Oh god. Please tell me it’s not Minhyuk.”

“I found it!” Hyungwon screamed, running into the foyer holding the golden chalice high above his head. “We win!”

“Noooooo!” You could hear Minhyuk whining before you saw him tear into the foyer from the opposite hall. “Where?!”

“Kitchen.” Changkyun was leaning against a post, you hadn’t even seen him stroll in after Hyungwon.

“We looked there!” Minhyuk spun around the room with his flashlight until he spotted you under the beam of light, “Didn’t we look there, y/n?”

You blocked the light from your eyes with your hand, “Yes, Min.”

“Well not good enough. Haaaaah!” Hyungwon laughed as Minhyuk chased after him through the foyer, grabbing for the chalice.

“Hey!” Shownu shouted from the balcony, the light from his phone illuminating his face, “Kihyun and Hoseok are already at the diner for breakfast. They want us to meet them there.”

Finally gathered together once more the whole group took off together, back down the avenue of trees. Dawn was coming and what once was pitch black was now a muted gray. Everything looked a little different in the soft light. You turned around and looked back at the old house, it didn’t look very threatening at all.

Changkyun had thrown his arm over your shoulder, in what you knew was now simply the action of a good friend. Though Jooheon didn’t and he pouted as he walked with Shownu behind the two of you. With a yawn you wondered how Minhyuk had the energy to chase Hyungwon down the sidewalk, still desperate for the golden chalice.

Hoseok and Kihyun met the group outside of the twenty-four hour diner looking a little worse for the wear. Hoseok was half asleep and stumbling drunk as you made your way inside. The group packed into two red vinyl booths.

Jooheon looked up from his plastic covered menu at you in surprise as you slipped into the booth next to him. “Wouldn’t you rather sit with your boyfriend?”

“Who? Changkyun?” You asked, pulling the menu between the two of you so you could read it too. “I thought we cleared that up. I like someone else.”

“Yeah but you never said who. Are you going to tell me?”

You opened your mouth to say something and he watched you wide eyed with anticipation. However the waitress had arrived for drink orders, giving you a second chance to avoid the question. It wasn’t that you weren’t going to tell him, just that you enjoyed the frustrated look on his face, it was too cute to resist.

When the waitress left to get the drinks, instead of telling him what he wanted to know, you engaged with Kihyun who was sitting across from you in a very serious discussion about what to order. You couldn’t decide between dinner and breakfast. In the end you did what you always did. Jooheon would get breakfast and you would get dinner and then you’d split your meals.

“Did you have fun at least?” You asked Jooheon as the waitress came around with your food. “It wasn’t that bad was it?”

“No, not as bad as I expected.” He sighed as he separated his meal into two. “It was fun. I scared Hyungwon once, did I tell you?”

“No! You didn’t!” Laughing at the thought, you put half of your cheeseburger on his plate. “I’m so happy you had fun, Honey.”

“I’m sorry you didn’t win.” He said quietly

You grinned, “Oh it’s okay. Maybe next year.”

“Next year?!” He asked in an instant panic.

“Yeah. It’ll be better. We’ll just make sure we get to be partners next time.”

“You’d want to be partners with me?” He asked genuinely surprised, “I thought you were going to have a boyfriend by next year. Whoever this secret guy is that you like probably likes you back. If you’re dating then he’ll want to be your partner and I’ll get stuck with someone else.”

“Well, do you?” You asked grabbing a piece of bacon from his plate.

“Do I what?”

You looked across the table where Hoseok and Kihyun had passed out on one another, their food left almost completely untouched except for a french fry hanging from Kyihuns mouth.

“Do you like me back?” You asked.

“Yeah of course I like you back I-“ his eyes went wide when he realized that you meant. “Me? I’m the guy you’re into?”

“The one and only.” You were sure you’d never seen his dimple get so deep he was smiling so big.

“I want to kiss you.” He said, eyes sparkling.

“Wait, there’s something I want to tell you first.” You felt nervous, but telling him about Changkyun seemed like the right thing to do. If you were really starting this you wanted to start it the right way. “Kyun and I were…”

“I know.” His smile dropped slightly but he shrugged, “I’ve known for awhile, you guys were pretty obvious.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” You asked grabbing his hand beneath the table subconsciously.

“I wanted you to want to tell me. I wanted you to be happy. It was hard being around you two, poorly hiding flirtatious looks.”

“I’m so dumb. I’m so sorry.” You whispered as you thought back at the last few months realizing Jooheon had almost never spent time with you and Changkyun together.

“Kyun figured it out. He asked me the other night and I told him the truth. That I’m in love with you.”

Your eyebrows shot up but you weren’t sure you were entirely surprised. “Honey…”

“Kyun told me to ask you out, he said you were… that you might… maybe...possibly.”

“I’m in love with you too.” You laughed, ending his small suffering of trying to avoid asking you if you loved him back. “I think I was in some denial but Kyun showed me the light.”

“He did?” Jooheon seemed genuinely shocked when you nodded, “well what do you know, Satan himself thinks we should be together.”

“Who are we to deny him?” With a small smile you leaned over and pressed a kiss against his dimpled cheek.

He covered his face with his hand shyly. “Aish, not in front of everyone!”

You laughed at the cute way he blushed, “You’re the one who wanted to kiss me!”

“Still do...” he grinned and lifted his hand to the back of your neck pulling you in for a sweet first kiss.

#jooheon scenarios #Monsta x scenario #Kpop scenario #no smut so... we'll see if anyone reads it fr? lol #maybe next time Honeybun #Happy Birthday Nem!

[xstick-noodlesx]

My sister and I talked about weird things in the wizarding world (1/?)

@akira-vargas

-the castle is way too big

-the stairs keep moving and I bet every student was late because of that at least once

-candles everywhere are a fire hazard, especially floating ones

-all the dangerous things that Dumbledore keeps should NOT be kept in a school for children or the surrounding woods (eg. trolls, three-headed dogs, giant fuck-off snakes, giant spiders, the stone, …)

-Dumbledore is an irresponsible principal

-he just hires teachers that he likes without any background checks

-he hires Remus and doesn’t check whether or not he goes somewhere safe or takes his potion during full moons

-kids can participate in deadly tournaments

-the “treasures” are literally other children that were basically taken and put on the bottom of a lake

-one of the teachers bullies children to the point that one child’s biggest fear is literally that teacher

-instead of sending kids to normal detention, he has them walk around the dangerous, beast filled forest in the middle of the night

-someone is petrifying students and Dumbledore doesn’t think of sending the students home

-kids could literally fall from the moving staircases if they move while the kids are on them

-talking pictures are creepy and you can’t convince me not at least one of the pictures creeps on the kids

-when Hogwarts presumes Sirius is looking for Harry, they just go along with their day and don’t try to give him extra protection at all

-no phones, sending important messages through owls would take way too long

-the whole Sirius situation proves how incompetent the ministry is and no one – not even Dumbledore – thought twice of locking someone up without proper trial

-they have literal house elve slaves

-the Black family is literally abusing their kids and no one thinks twice about it and why? because they're an old wizard family

-travelling through toilets

-Dumbledore's first instinct after finding little Harry with his parents dead is to give him to his aunt and uncle who he knows hate wizards

-why can’t Harry just bring a gun or a knife or smth to a fight

-why do they have to use feathers and not pens – just the thought of writing my A-Levels with a feather instead of a pen physically pains me

-they don’t use ANY muggle technology like lamps, telephones, etc.

-the only muggle technology they use are like toilets and before that, they literally shat on the floor

-the only prison we ever hear of is Azkaban but imagine going to Azkaban and being in the cell next door to a murderer for stealing an owl

-also, the fact that Azkaban is supposed to be high security and literally every other person breaks out

-are there any people working at Azkaban or do the Dementors cook the meals for the prisoners??

-the only thing the Dementors really do is inconvenience and nearly kill children

-why isn’t time travel used more like if you’re careful it should be fine

-care for magical creatures is way too dangerous for children, it’s like us interacting with wild bears

-the fact that Dobby could block the entrance to the platform 9 ¾  without any problems so that two students couldn’t get to school is “dumb as shit” (quote, my sister); it’s like some random dude coming up to your school, locking the door and keeping you out and no one does anything about it

-why send first years across a lake at night in little boats with only the groundskeeper to supervise them; safety hazard

-they have not enough teachers I feel

-are there only like ten beds for each year for each house? what if there’s one student more?

-the fact that they have to use a password to get into their house

-the fact that the Ravenclaws have to solve a riddle to get into their house so what if someone else just happens to solve the riddle???

-they use the same old hat to sort every student and what if one of the students have lice then every first year after that student will have lice

-how much food gets thrown away every day at Hogwarts???

-are there more wizarding schools than the four we know of? like is there one in Germany? Or Poland? Or Iceland? Or South America? Imagine being an eleven-year-old German child and being sent to Hogwarts and knowing little to no English because, well, you’re an eleven-year-old child

-is there sex ed in Hogwarts??

-Gryffindor wins everything; you can tell they are Dumbledore’s favourites

-the wizarding world basically has the death penalty or the soul-sucking penalty which is just as bad

-prisoners are basically abused and/or neglected when in Azkaban

-they had one detention where a student has to sign autographs late at night with his teacher

-the only competent defence against dark arts teacher gets fired because he transformed into a werewolf on school grounds which is something that Dumbledore should have been able to prevent

-Snape isn’t only bullying children, he also bullies his colleagues and NO ONE gives a frick

-the fact that a little girl died on the school grounds and another student was framed and convicted; none of the teachers faced repercussions because of the negligence

-the fact that that little girl is now a ghost and peeping on other students on the toilets

-the fact that there are no safety measures taken during quidditch?? what if a student falls from their broom??? What if someone gets a bludger to the face???

-why is there a restricted section in the school library??? If the books are dangerous why are they in a school library???

-why does harry get to keep the invisibility cloak??

-don’t they have PE for like the students that don’t want to play a dangerous broom flying sport??

-why is there a literal roller coaster with a dragon down in the bank basement??? Why is it such an inconvenience to get some money from the bank???

-the houses themselves make no sense?? Like personalities can change??

-some student died during the tournament and there are no repercussions?? No one is sued??? No one is angry at Dumbledore or the other headmasters???

-what if you need to talk to Dumbledore but don’t know his stupid office password??

-why do they have one book that just screams at you when you open it???

-or a book that tries to eat you as soon as you open it??? And you need to like pet it to open it

-why is everyone angry that one of the teachers is a werewolf but no one cares about giant squids, murderous mermaids in the lake, giant spiders, giant snakes, etc??

-if I was a parent and my child would be bullied by Snape you can bet your butt that I’d have him fired

-Dumbledore is constantly encouraging Harry’s reckless behaviour

-the fact that you have to get parental permission to go to Hogsmeade

-how is a cat or a toad supposed to bring you your mail??

-why can every student bring a pet?? That seems like such a mess to me. What if I’m allergic to cat hair and my roommate has a cat?? What if his cat murders my owl??

-why are the Weasleys allowed to bring a rat?

-why is no one talking about how Peter Pettigrew was literally sleeping in the same bed as an eleven-year-old boy as a rat??

-the owls are in little cages??

-the fact that students get to turn their animals into objects should count as animal abuse

-why are there so many cats but not a single litter box?

-did the other cats try to get with McGonaggal??

-why did the school allow the Ministry to literally slaughter Buckbeak on school property?

-there was a cell at the ready for Sirius at Hogwarts and they talk about dungeons under the school? Why? it’s a school for children

-has a student ever walked in on McGonaggal while she was licking her own butthole?

-did she take part in the cats movie? And was she part of the butthole cut??

-am I allowed to bring Mr Mistoffelees, a magical cat, to school with me?

-the fact that Madame Hooch left all the kids alone with their brooms to take care of Neville

-how can a giant squid survive in a literal lake?

-were they planning on basically executing Sirius on school grounds?

-do they have a police force that takes care of minor crimes like shoplifting?

-do they have wheelchair ramps at Hogwarts? Do people get to bring their seeing-eye dog

-the long staircases to the towers

-why is the Slytherin house literally underground? Like no sunlight?

-Having houses only encourages bullying

-can I get a normal job or university place with my Hogwarts degree?

#i know some of therse may be explained on pottermore but i don't care #long post #original post #rant #harry potter #harry potter and the philosophers stone #harry potter and the chamber of secrets #harry potter and the order of the phoenix #harry potter and the goblet of fire #harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban #Albus Dumbledore #ron weasley #sirius black #remus lupin

[killergirlfuria]

Here there be a fic, birthed by my anger and sheer indignation at Beemov’s newest cash grab (1,200$ for a game of, if looked at through the lens of the price, really lacking quality) featuring power imbalance, emotional manipulation, and threats of bodily harm and death all aimed at the poot wallflower MC who can do nothing but take it as six vampires illegally squat at her house and don’t give jack shit about common decency.

Ergo, I pour all my salt into this found family fic with, hopefully, a much more plausible setting for potential situation.

Vampire Daycare: Summary

After long last, Eloise has decided to return to her family home, a manor in the woods that she inherited from her long-since-deceased parents. However, what was meant to be a slow vacation and research in the place full of childhood memories jumped straight out of the window, when Eloise came face to face with six men who have been illegally squatting on her property for what seems like years.

Eloise would have thrown them out, absolutely. Any normal person would. But then, her old teacher came around, all smug and secretive, and offered the squatters a deal; their rent will be paid off, all of backlog and year into the future both. For a favor, of course.

And now Eloise is stuck running a kindergarten for six vampires high on power, with the only other remotely intelligent person in the household outside of her being her pet goat.

Wonderful.

Warning: This fic has not been proofread.

Prologue

Eloise Kerrigan returns to her childhood home to find it already populated, without her knowledge, and without her consent.

She is not amused.

(She’s also a miser with a moral compass, and that saves six lives.)

~(0)~

The air was crisp and fresh as Eloise walked through the forest, relishing in the calmness of forest after dark. She has arrived in the town earlier that day and, after a brief bout of tourism, turned towards her destination—the Kerrigan Estate. She grew up in that place, and despite the fact that she took a long sabbatical shortly after her parents death and hasn’t visited it once, she yearned to return to her childhood home. She didn’t worry about the dilapidation, there were measures set in place to prevent that.

She enjoyed the cold autumn evening in the forest that many would find creepy, surrounded by whispering of the wind and an odd hoot from an owl. It was tranquil, natural, and relaxing. The leaves, crisp with cold, crunched under her boots, and her knitted woolen scarf protected her easily from an odd bout of wind between the trees.

Odd as it would seem for a bystander, she didn’t have any luggage with her, save for a small handbag. Eloise didn’t find it odd at all, and there were no bystanders in the forest.

She took a deep breath as the trees began to thin, heralding a clearing upon which she knew Kerrigan Estate was built hundreds of years ago my her many-times-great-grandparents. He played in these woods a lot as a child, and they hadn’t changed much, despite the time that has passed. Whether it was the nature of the house itself or the respect the nature had for the house, she wasn’t sure, but didn’t complain.

Last few steps, last few turns-

There it was, in all its Victorian glory, overgrown with ivy, a house exactly like the one in child-Eloise’s memories. She almost choked.

God, it was so long.

She sighed, hastening her steps, to make it there quicker, up the familiar narrow pavement, up the loose cobblestone stairs, through the squeaking black gate that nobody has ever bothered to oil properly as long as it stood, forward between father’s brown roses, through the oaken with a worn-out, brass wolf knocker—

Eloise stopped the second she stepped inside. She closed her eyes, took a breath, instantly on alert, searching for—something.

Something was wrong. She knew this house intimately, could almost hear it speak to her, and something was wrong—

Oh. There, Eloise, in the library, a presence, and another, upstairs, and then in the attic, and—

She reached her senses out farther and farther into the bowels of the house, past the hidden trapdoor child-Eloise wasn’t allowed down, searching for the wardstone she knew was there, she knew should have been there—only to find it missing. An oddest thing, because the only time she’s ever been allowed down that trapdoor was with her mother to calibrate and place the stone. She saw it placed, helped place it, and now it was gone.

And the only other person allowed to enter the Manor was her teacher, who was also a smug bitch with agenda nobody understood. Which explained everything, Eloise supposed, because if there was someone that was an asshole enough to let strays invade Eloise’s ancestral home, it was without a doubt Baba.

There was a murmur of a presence on the ground floor with her, and in the library, and upstairs, and more. She counted six, thrumming in a very distinctly not-human way. Wonderful. She pushes that problem into the back of her mind—it can wait a few minutes. Instead, she turns to the stairs and up, fourth step sings under her feet, and she can’t help but step on it again giddily, seventh croaks and she winces, because she always forgot that one.

The rooms were exactly where she remembered them being, in the exact same floor plan she could navigate with closed eyes as a child. It’s been years, but maybe she could still. The doors, she was pleased to find, were the same beveled and sculpted oaken slabs. The rooms behind them, however, Eloise wasn’t certain of. For now, she’d have to hope that the vermin currently infesting her house has not damaged her ancestral home—the whole building was an antique in a way, and restoration would be a pain.

It was her grandmama’s legacy after all, dating all the way back to early 1800s. If something was changed, Eloise could just rally antique conservationists and they would, in their righteous rage, fix everything right back up.

But that’s neither here nor there. Yet.

If the old journals of her parents—particularly her father’s research notes, because those weren’t put in the basement—were lost, Eloise would be particularly unhappy, however. What she remembered of her father painted him as an alchemical genius, and everyone always told her she inherited his talents. Now that she learned all she could on her own, his notes would aid her greatly.

As Eloise calmly strolled through the hallway, a shiver ran down her spine.

Ah, it would seem they crawled out.

Eloise headed downstairs, slowly, down the creaking step and the singing step, until she reached the main hall. Sure enough, a man was there, tall, with a mane of wavy dark-purple hair, and wearing nothing but a white pajama.

Oi, oi, ain’t ye gettin’ a wee bit fookin’ cozy in me house?

“Hey, who are you?” he asks, and Eloise blinks at the audacity of him. He disregards her, though, calling out; “Vladimir, some chick’s walking down the main staircase!”

Eloise could feel the vein pop throughout the entire length of the right side of her neck and cheek. Don’t blow them up, she thought to herself over and over again, it’s not worth it.

Another one comes out of where Eloise is fairly certain she remembers library being, this time in golden out-of-date smock and an blindfold across his eyes.

“You could show a bit of respect!” he scolds the pajama-clad asshole, and Eloise silently thanks the heavens that at least one of them seems to have some working braincells that did not undergo necrosis. “I can understand why she’s hiding. You must have scared her. Please don’t run off, young lady…”

Or not.

A'm standin richt fookin ‘ere ye arsehole.

Ah, slipping into thick Scottish now, as always, with anger. She didn’t doubt that if she started speaking now, she’d also use proper Scottish slang that she could bet money the quasi-immortal bloodsuckers would have trouble understanding.

Oh, papa, papa, why did you teach me to cuss in Scots.

Eloise gently massages her temples with one hand, supporting herself with the other on the railing, letting the vampires bicker. Another one emerges, this time a willowy-looking blonde in Victorian suit. This must be Vladimir, Eloise concludes, from how he scolds the pajama-clad moron, who she learns is named Beliath. She lets them bicker—not the first time someone wandered into the manor and isn’t that the red flag—as they seem to completely ignore her. Eloise lets them, more interested in listening to the bloodsuckers literally infesting her mansion before kicking them out.

Because she was going to. Current residents or not, they’re illegal squatters and she doubts they’re even registered with the local Committee branch, which is an absolute must with Class A Dangerous Creatures living this close to a populated town. Eloise hopes she can do away without actually killing them, too—which she should do, if they’re unregistered, despite her strong dislike of destroying creatures with cognitive ability.

However limited said cognitive capability wouldn’t appear to be.

And then Vladimir calls her an intruder, and Eloise barks out a sharp bout of laughter, loud enough to return their attention to her.

“Funny, how things are,” she says, voice amused but with an edge to it, “that you’d have a gall to call me an intruder.”

“Pardon?” the blonde—Vladimir, but should she even bother remembering?—asks.

“Let’s start with introductions then, shall we? I’ll even go first—my name is Eloise Kerrigan, your landlord, apparently, though not by my choice nor with my prior knowledge, and I’d like to know one thing; where the fuck is my money, you useless squatters?”

They look at her dumbly for a moment, while Eloise just stands there, arms crossed on her chest and her best ‘I’m better than you and disappointed’ face on. The pajama-clad moron snorts, and moves to speak, but she cuts him off before he even can.

“Now, I don’t quite need you to introduce yourselves. I won’t even remember your names, I’d assume. After all, you’re all going upstairs now to pack your things and leave, no?”

“Uhhh… No?” the pajama-clad moron says with amusement shining in his eyes. Eloise looks at him, very unamused herself.

“In case you’re even less adapt at thinking than you make it seem, that wasn’t a question,” she says, not bothering to stop an eyeroll. “Now, how many of you are here?”

“Six,” the willowy blonde answers, as if expecting that to somewhat scare her. “Also, you can’t just come in here and tell us to pack out bags, we live here-“

Eloise snaps her fingers instead of answering and, in a flash of flame an outdated-looking scroll appears, and unfurls showcasing a Title Deed, complete with a wax seal and signatures of all previous owners—all Kerrigans before Eloise—and everything else. The thing thrums with magic.

The one in the blindfold must have sensed it, because he gasps.

“You’re a witch,” he says.

“I am. And you are Class A’s trespassing on a Witch’s Dwelling, of which the Title Deed I have just pulled out,” she answers. “Do you know what that means?”

“Raphael?” pajama-clad moron asks, as the willowy blonde frowns.

“It- It means that, even if we were Registered, she has every right to kill us on the spot,” the blindfolded one answers with a grimace.

“And you’re not registered?” she presses on, and he fidgets.

“No,” is the answer that eventually comes, and Eloise wants to bang her head on the wall.

“What the hell?” someone asks from the stairs, and Eloise turns to see a pale, asshole-looking Jack Frost knockoff, followed by a tall, tanned man who looks like he has more sense than just two braincells rubbing off of one another. “What Title Deed? Registered to what? Who are you?”

“Eloise Kerrigan, owner of the house,” she answers flatly. “And you’re unregistered Vampires trespassing a Witch’s Dwelling. In the eyes of law, it’s double death sentence.”

“What the fuck? Nobody ever told me that!” the pale asshole argues.

“It’s the duty of the one who turned you, and not my problem,” Eloise shrugs. “It’s been in effect since Dracula’s uprising in late fourteen-hundreds!”

The tall, tanned man winces. “I think I’m actually registered,” he says carefully. “But I haven’t been in the Office for years now, so-“

“So you didn’t turn in a Plea of Renewal. I suppose you didn’t think to inform them of your change of whereabouts either?”

“We didn’t exactly have a landlord,” he says with a wince. “And none of us owns the house.”

“So you preferred to let your Registration expire and trespass in peace?”

He turns his head away, and it’s answer enough. It would have been very comfortable, indeed, if any and all owners of the house were dead or didn’t claim the property, and even if they did, the vampires probably thought they could easily deal with a human owner.

Only two of them seemed to know what the punishment for trespassing a Witch’s Dwelling—especially one so saturated with magic and tradition, not to mention built on a intersection of ley lines—even was in the first place, and the rest seemed blissfully unaware, or blissfully ignorant, of seemingly all the laws that, despite their ignorance, still dictated whether they were allowed to live or set for extermination.

After Dracula’s Uprising in late 1400s, vampires were put under high scrutiny, and for a good reason. Nobody liked crazy and powerful magical creatures attempting to seize control over the whole world in order to turn it into a feeding ground.

Therefore, Draculean Laws were put in place to vampires’ chagrin and relief of all other occult races, and that was that.

“We had no idea we were trespassing a Witch’s Dwelling,” the blindfolded one says softly and apologetically. The willowy blonde glances at him in surprise, and then turns to Eloise.

“Look, I don’t care for the so-called laws I’ve never heard of-“

“Vladimir!” the tanned one snaps, and the blonde shuts up. “There is much more to the world we live in than you possibly imagine, or care to learn! Just because you all are content to live in a bubble of unawareness, doesn’t mean we’re all ignorant to the laws! We’ve grown complacent, yes, and it’s probably my fault—I should have dragged you all to be registered, even if it would have turned out we were trespassing a place like that. But no, I was content to just live somewhere not far from a city, and—God. There’s just so many laws—I can’t believe I—just how many laws have we broken in our complacent idiocy?” he asks, horrified.

“How do you feed?” Eloise questions.

“I don’t know how that’s even important!” pajama-clad moron rears his ugly head again. “Is nobody going to acknowledge that she knows who we are?”

“Beliath, shut up!” the blindfolded one snaps, more out of panic than actual irritation. “You’re one of the oldest here, you should know what she’s talking about!”

“We bite people and then make them forget,” the tanned one answers her anyway. “We don’t kill, though. We make sure we don’t. We wipe their memories after.”

“So you attack people all willy-nilly and then use internationally banned mind magic to be rid of the evidence?!” Eloise snarls, and he turns his head in shame as her hackles rise up. “Feeding on people without killing them, that you could spin in your favor and get scoot-free off of, but mind magic? Nobody is allowed to use mind magic without a really damn good reason, not just you, you special, fucking, bloodsucking snowflakes! It’s not even Draculean Laws you broke with it, it’s the International Statutory Law!”

By gods, Eloise wanted to rip her hair straight out of her scalp. The ignorance of these bloodsuckers, while blissful up until now to them, was causing a potential mess of incredibly epic proportions. Draculean Laws were one thing, Trespassing of her house was another, she could, maybe, let go of those, but—breaking of International Laws? As a repeated offense?

Could she even, in her right mind, kick them out now? Let them go, and not kill them outright? Or at least bring them to the Office, even if it would have meant even more certain death than by her hands?

She just wanted to curl up and cry, honestly.

Gods fucking damn her bleeding heart and unwillingness to kill, but may it never be mistaken for inability. She wasn’t necessarily unwilling to kill either—just so very tired of it.

“Look, lady, we don’t even know these laws!” the pale asshole argues, and Eloise smothers an urge to throw a lamp at him.

“Ignorantia legis neminem excusat, boy,” is all she has to say in return. “You must have came in here good few years after I went to the Academy, otherwise the residual presence would have kicked the magic into high gear and obliterated you on the spot, since you were uninvited. And since you were able to find this place to begin with, someone must have taken the wards down, and there’s only one person who actually can do that outside of me—what the fuck are you plotting, auntie?” Eloise hisses, looking skyward as if for answers, but all she sees is the tiled Victorian ceiling.

~ k̽́̅́͡i̋̊̒̀͞l̑̂̕l̃̓͠ t̛̒́h͑̔̀͝e̽̃͞m҇̒̽ ~ William hisses straight into her cerebrum, and Eloise closes her eyes, listening to the demonic yet soothing voice of her familiar. ~k̽́̅́͡i̋̊̒̀͞l̑̂̕l̃̓͠ t̛̒́h͑̔̀͝e̽̃͞m҇̒̽ a̒͛͗̂̿͞l҇͛͊͌l̛̈́̈͊͌͐,̓̅̒̊̒͞ ẗ͗̋̆̈́͝h͊̄̂͡è̄̚͠ỳ͐̈́͠ d͊͋͛̚͡e͂̒͛͞ṥ̔̽̕e̓́͛̕ȑ͛͞v̛̅̔e͊͊͌̎̇̕ ì̍͞t҇͒͂̏ â̿̓̕n͐͂̆̀̐͞d̛̽̂̒̐̚ ẏ̏̋͠o͌̈́̈́͡u̓͒̄͠ s҇̈̆͊̈́̚h͛͆̏͋͝o̾͊͞u͌͒̓̀̑͠l͛̑͞d̒̚͡ñ̇̏͠'͛̎̆̔̽͞t̀̿̄̾̔̕ b̈́̄̔̐͡e̎̋̑̕ ḋ̿̎͠ẽ̈́͞a͊̈̏̚͝l̈́̐̒͝i̒̓̒͡n̍͂͂̒͒͝g̊̅͛̾͡ w͛́͆͂͠ǐ̛̋̔t̛̃͋́̀h̀̂͛̆͊͡ t̾̚͡h҇͊̐̚i͑̿͡s͂̇̐̆͠ m͐͌̌͠e̿̔̑͒̂͞ś͒͗̀͗͝s̛͒͆̎̈

~I really should, shouldn’t I?~ she sends back, and gets a humming agreement as her only response.

~t̛͌̅̅͊h҇̓̀̐̀͊e̒̽̽́̏͞ý͊͒͛̕ r҇̆̆̎̀ë́͛͌̈͋͞ḕ̎̕k̛̿̉̉ ỏ̄̀͑͠f͆̎͠ ď̓̕ë́̓̑́͛͡a҇͋̃͗̓̔ṫ̽̒͞h̔̀͞,҇͐̈́̏̊ Ì́͗̐̂͝ d́͐̕ò͐́͋̑͡n̂̒̅̚͠'͑̈̀͊̏͡t̍͊͞ d͆̊̐̌͠ȍ͐͡u͊̅̕b̈́̊̀͠t͊̒̂͡ t̛̽̋̚h̓̅̒͠ē͗͠ẙ͋͐͡ k̒̒͑̕i̎̀͛́͞l̛͗̍̉l̛͗͛̐ĕ̊̀͡d̛̃̓̄̓ b̍͌̅͂͡e̍̕̚f҇́̇͌̎͐ơ̈̓̀̚ȓ̄̄͡e҇̀̂́̔,̉͐͡ ả͒̂̚͞n͆͒̈́̌̓͠d̓̓̕ k̛̂̋͑̄i҇̀̅l̈́̀͋͞l͑̃͞e̒̍͞d̋̅̊͊̉̕ m̈́̒͠a̛̎̅̿̓n̛̎͗͐y҇̄̔.̈́͐͐̕ d͂̾̕ȏ̽̐̈́̓͞ w҇̾͆ơ͐́̈́͑͛r̅͐̇̚͠l͌̔̋̃̕d͆̈̊͡ á̽̆̚͞ f҇͂́̈́a̒̀̀͡v͑̾̑̉͡o҇̆̆̓r̅͂̃̒̈͠,̀̇̀͞ M҇͗̃͛͐̃i̿͒͑͊̑͝s̈͐͑̐̕t̾̔͑͆̕r҇̉̉e̓͌̉̾͆͡š̈́͞s҇̍̂͋̋-̃̅͋̍͞-̓̎͛͠d̛́̋̇́̆ớ́ y҇̎̀o͑͆̓͞ǔ̃̏̃͠r̓̀̒͋͞s̃̓́̾͞ȇ̍͛̕l͆̋͡f͒͑̍̏̃͡ a̛̾̔̔͊̀ f̒̑̇͠a̋̉͊͑͝v̋́̀̋͡o̔̌́̕r̐̂͝.̾̋́́̏͠ I̛͗̔̽͗ s̄̄̒́̄͝h̐͂̀͝ä́̿̒́͝l҇̃̅̚l̓͋͝ d҇̇́̓e̛͒͐̽̈͂v҇̂̇̈̀̚ō̌͡u҇̔̏̇r̆̽̄͒͂͡ t̔̈́͞h̿̈̾̄̕e҇̀̐i̛̍̄͐r̈́̅͒̈́͠ b҇̑̒̌̏̚o҇̎̎͑d̏̂͑͞i̛̊͑͑̉̎e҇͌̊s̾̎̽͝ a҇͗̏̀̒n̂̀͊́͠ď̛̀̃ w͑̑͠e͌̽͊̓̕ w̆̂̓́͡i͊͑̂̿͌͠l̎̿͗͂͒͞l҇̈́̌ f̈͋͆̾͞o̓͌͛̒͞r̽̑͋͠g̑̏͛̒͞e̿̉̽͑͞t̔͆̔͞ o҇͂͆́f́̌̒́͡ t̉̀̐̉͆͝h̛̀̀͒i҇̾̇͗s̃͐̃̄̎͞ i̒͐̑́̽͠n̛͑̀̈́c̈̄̾̏͊͞î́̐͝d̛͋̑̆̓e̾̇̀͡n҇̎̑̍͂t̛̏̀͊͐

~But if it really is Baba Yaga who’s behind this? She’s literally the only person alive I don’t want to piss off. She had to have a reason to let vampires infest our ancestral home, no?~ Eloise asks hopefully, more the world than William.

~B̀͋̈͝ä̛́͒b̛̌́̔͋a͂̉͛̆͝ Ỳ͑͌͡a̾͋̒͠g̽̈́͂̿͡ä̾͋̒͡ w̛̍̒̏̅i͑̆̀͋̚͠l̈́͆͠l̍̈͡ b̏͆̾͝e͂̿̒̕ ȁ̛͐͋m̛̃͊͗u͐̊͌͠s̛̅̌̾e̐̀̆͠d̄̓̐̇̽̕ a͑̾̾͡t҇̿͋ w͛̇̌͞ó̊̑́̕r̓̓̾̊̈́͞s̓̆̌͡t̛͐̑.͐̏̆͠ Ẏ̾͋̓̐͝o̾̄͂͡ú̎̓͞ k̊̓̇̅͡n̽̆̀̂̆͡o҇͗͊̓w̛̆̄́ h̽̎̀͡o̊̃̅͝w͑̂͝ s͂̈́͡h̛͆͊̂̋̉è̛͋ i͗̆̐͛̆̕s҇͋̏,̄̐̒͝ a̛͗̔̓̍̇l̛̄̓̌̔̌l̾͂̚͞ s̛͑͑́m҇͆́ȕ͂̾͞g҇͋̅͋ ȃ́͞ń͋͆̕d̽̃̕ m̄͒͞i͛̄͠g҇͌̎̂͗h̛̊͑͌̐̚t̔̒̆͡y̛͌͑̔̃͌,̆̏̽̕̚̚ a͊̉͡l҇̄̿̌̂̽w̆̇̏̈̚͠à̉̃̊͋̕ỳ̛̊̆̍s̛̆̋̓̈́.̑̿͝ s҇̀͐͗̆̽h̛̉̀̇e̛̓̿ r҇̊̈́͒e҇͐̈̆e̛͗̓̚ḱ̛͆͊s̔̊̚͝ ō̾͡f̎̅̃͞ p̈̑̈͠o͛͆̈̎̅͝w҇̀͛̅͂e̋̓̽̏̅͝r̓̌͞,̓̾͂͝ b́̋̓̀̉͠u҇̔͗̑̊͑t̓͋̓͞ s͒͗͆̎͂͡h̃͌̑͠e͐͗͠ h͊͑͊͝a̋̍̒̽̕r̛̽̂d̆͛̓͝l̽̌͑͞y͂̔̀͠ í̊͒͞ǹ̓͠t́̆̎̑̕̚e҇̀͌̉r҇͌̏f̊͛̓̓͡e̛͊̔̚r̛̈́̆̑e҇͑̚s͂̀̏͐͐͝ n̾̈̚͝ơ̌̉̄̌̿w͆̈̓̎͌͞a̓͊̊̅͡d͗̓͡a҇̑̂͒ŷ̛̾͑ś͌̍͡~ William says, shooting down Eloise’s attempts to still, despite all evidence to the contrary, weasel out of killing the vampires. Then, after a brief moment, he adds: ~Î͗͝ m̎̂͊͋́͝y̛̒̽͆͊̋s̽̐̈͝e͌͑͌̑̄͡l̛̿́f̛͗̍̇̈ t̛̐̐ĥ̇̋͋͋͞i̎͂͗͡n͑̂͌̕k̛̃̋͑̚ s͐̌͞h҇͛͆̑ë́̂̔͞ i͗̍̾̔͡s̛̎͑͋̚ g҇͆̉r̓̊̄̚̚͡o҇̉́̈́̀w̉͐͛̀̋͠i҇̆̎̇͆n͑̌̆̕ǧ̛̾̽̂ s̾͛͊͠e͐͂͒̍̌̕n̾̅͆̕i̅͊͡l̄̔̿̅̽͞e̛̐̀̄̏̀ i͒̏̋͡n̑̀̒͞ h̀̾̀͂͞è̌̉̐̈͠r̔̉̂̀̂͠ o̅̈́̓͂̚͡l̿̈́͠d҇̌̌͌ à̛͗̽͗g҇́̍͐e͋̓͝

Eloise can’t help a snort at that offhand comment. There are, after all, very few people who have guts to actually call Baba Yaga out on how they see her, and Eloise usually isn’t one of them, maybe due to power difference, or maybe due to familial connection. Her familiar, however, has no such qualms.

“What’s so funny?” the pale asshole asks from where the tanned guy was quickly bringing them up to speed on all the laws they have broken and any and all punishments potentially awaiting them.

“Nothing, just the voices in my head,” Eloise answers. “They’re the only intelligent conversation partner in this house, after all.”

William snorts.

“I don’t understand why we can’t just get rid of her!” the pajama-clad moron asks in agitation, and both the blindfolded one and the tanned one look like they want to rip his head off.

“Oh, I don’t know?” Eloise asks. “Maybe because I’m rather well-known in my circles, and it would raise many eyebrows should I disappear? Because all my friends and superiors know exactly where I had gone? Because I’m to call some of them soon, or else I have been threatened with a surprise visit before I can settle down? The list goes on, and none of the option ends well for you.”

“Oh quit the big-talk!” the moron snaps, and makes a move to throw himself at her, despite the tanned one’s warning shout—

William bursts from Eloise’s shadow in a flash of hell-red flames and impales the vampire on his wicked horns. He misses all the vital spots, merely skewering him through the shoulder-blades, muscle, tendon and bone, but it drives the message home, seeing as the rest rear back in shock at the sight of the half-demonic, half-undead goat with four wicked horns.

“And there’s also William,” Eloise says in amusement as the moron winces and all but hangs on the Bakhrahell’s horns in attempt to not to agitate the wound too much, the blood seeping into his white shirt and slowly trickling down William’s upper horns.

“What is this thing?!” the pale asshole shrieks, backing up the stairs, as if it would help him if the Bakhrahell decided to go against him next. The other three tense and also back up.

“This is William, my familiar,” Eloise explains calmly. “I apologize for not being a typical witch with a cat, but demonic battle-goat suits me more.”

“y̛͌̀̉ṑ̑̏͡ũ̾̚͞ w̓̈͒̀̈́͠i͋̾̏̉͝l҇̌͌l҇̉̈̈̚ n̑̌̋̇̉͡o͐̀̽́͡t͐͌̈̄͝ h̑̽͋̐̏͠ä̛́͐͌r͐̅͞m̃̔͝ M̓͊͛́͝i̛̋͒̂̚s̈́̿̏͡t̉̐͞r͛̑͐͞e͐͆̚͞ṡ̊͡ṡ͌̈́̓͞,̀́̀͡ v͂̓͝e͒̀̓͂̚͞r͌̃̄̄̚͞m͊̂̉̋̕ĭ̋͆̑̕ń̀̏͛̈́͝,” William snarls in synthetically echoing, demonic voice, before lurching forward and knocking the moron back, and sliding his horns out of vampire’s shoulders. He gives the remaining vampires a very unimpressed look. “f҇͂̉͐́̐ơ̎͂͒r͂̓͗̾̓̕ t͗̀͒̒̕h̔̊͡é̒̔́͠ r҇̈̊̑͒ë́̌̃̋̽͠c͐̽̇̀͠o͌̄̿͊͞r҇̈̇̍̍d҇̃̊̈́,̆͛̔͠ I͋́̈̀͝'̈͆͂̕m̊́̐̄͌͠ v̒̿̓͆̊͠ë́̂̓̕ṙ͒̕ẙ͂͞ m̄̀̀͝ú̃̐̿͑͠c҇͛̇͛̈́h҇͊̈͆ i̇̏̀̅͞ň̎͋̕ f͒́͌͡a͒͆̅̑̚͝v͌̒͗̇̕o҇͒̄r͗̐͝ o͒̿͡f҇̃͆ k҇͒͂̃͂̐ì͛͠l̀͐͝l͐͂͠i͆̽͠n͒͐̀̎̀͞g͑̿͡ a͆̅͞l̛̽̍̃l̀̄͠ o҇̐̅̈̍f͊͒͊̑̕̚ ỷ̍̎̎͆͞o͌͑̐͂̚͠u̔̒̾̓͝.҇̏̈́̅ Ĭ̃͋͞ h҇̾͂̿a͋̿͛͡v҇͊̓͗̄ë́̿̏̔͠n̛̂͋̍'̛̄͑͂t̽̎̉̚͞ e̛̾̓ȃ̋̆̿͂͡ẗ́̽̄̓͛͞e҇͒̃̔n̒̿̎̄͠ à͒͞ v͒̂͝a̓̊̕m̽̽̌͠p͌̾͆̓̀͡i͗̈̅͝r̅̌͋͞ē̒̎͠ i̛̓̋̏̒̊n̔̊̏͐͞ q̅̓͒̕ŭ̀̈̒́͞i҇͗̋̀ť̆̄́͡e҇̈̓̓̉ s̍͑̀̐͠ȯ̌͌͞m̏͒͐̓͞ě̃͡ t҇̆͑ī̛̉̈́̔̾m̛̐͐̇̍e̊͐̄͒̐͠,̐́̏͞ a͊͌̂̓͞f̌̒̄̊̏͞t҇̓͋è͋̍͠ř̛̂̐ à̋̏͝ĺ͑̓͛͞ĺ̓͛̕,҇̃̐ ả͑͐̉͠n̋͐̊̕d̛͗̃̂̈̄ t̿́̎̅̚͡h̿̑͠e̎͒̈́͌̏͠ ơ̈́̄̒n͛̑̏̆̕l̓͋͝ỳ̈́̑̔̿͝ t̎͒͂͝h̛̏́i̓̃̌͊͠n̓̒́͡g̀͐́͝ s̔̏͞t̅̎̃̒̚͞a҇̋́̂n̏͋̂̐͝d̀̿̎͞i̛̾̌̏͗ǹ̈́̿́̈̕ǵ͆͛̿̕ b̛̋̐ȇ͌̉̓̕t̐̚̚͡w̛̆̈́̀̒è̑͋͡ȅ̑̋̕n̔̏͡ m͐͂͂̕e̅̎͝ a̓̽̓̋͡n҇̀͂̽d̛͛̾̆̍̃ m̾̓͗́͝y̾́́͠ m͛̽̽̚͝e͌̀̕ȃ̛͆̓l̛̏̈́́͑̚ i̛̾͛̃͗s̓̂͆͑̓͡ M͑̋̈͡i̔̂͠s̛̈́́t́̉̏͠r̛͋͗ē̏̕s̀̓̎͡s̛͒̃̈̀'̾̈́̍́͞s̐̃̊͝ m̛̈͆o͗̈́͑͊͆͡r̾̔̚͝ȧ̈́̓̇̚͡l҇̋̽̇̓̉ c̓͗̍̚͞o͆̆̔̽͠m̛̓̀̐p̓̉͞a͋̆͋͠s̀͊͂͊͝s͊͋͞.̛͐́”

“William, you’re ruining the moment,” Eloise chides him gently. “If they know I’m actually on their side, they’ll get cocky.”

“Ḯ̊̈̕'҇̔͆m̊̈́̍͠ n҇̄̒ô̍̍̊͝t̀͗̓́̚͝ s҇̇́ó̃̕̚r̃̓͌̅͝r̀̀͠y҇͌͆͌̄̇.̋̄̀̉̅͝ t̏͛̂͠h̛̄͋e͒̑͐̊͞y̛̋͌̄ n̅̒͊̋͝é̛͆̅͌e͌̇̀̊̐͡d͊̐̉̓̕ t̛̂͊̉o͛̎͂̕ k̀̌͞n͌̏̏̀͆͝ơ̋̅̀̎w̛̒͛ t̐̾͠ĥ̔̍̃͡ë́͆̔̍̐͝i͒̓͡ŕ͛̿͝ ṕ̽́͠l҇̎̀a̓̆̕c̃̒́̂́͠é̈͠.̃͛͒͝”

Eloise pinches the bridge of her nose.

“Aight, listen up—where’s the last one?”

The blindfolded one purses his lips. “I’m—I’m not sure it’s a good idea to call him down.”

“Why not?”

“He’s—”

“He only got turned two months ago,” the pale asshole says with a shrug, but he’s still shaking a bit and looking at William with suspicion, with William glaring right back. “He’s not good at controlling himself.”

“There’s a fledgling in the house?” Eloise asks, blinking with disbelief. “And you’ve—you’ve just, like, what? Left him to his own devices? Without round-the-clock care? Next thing you’ll tell me is that you feed him so little he actually gets hungry and aggressive!”

“We can’t let him feed on people without killing them, so he is,” the blonde speaks up, looking at Eloise in challenge. She just blinks at him, mouth ajar in shock.

“You—You’re—You’re starving a fledgling?!” she shrieks, well and truly losing the grip on her anger for a moment. “You—Fledglings need nothing as much as they need a constant stream of fresh blood if they are to develop themselves and their power correctly, and you—you’re telling me, you’re not feeding him? Almost at all? And you expect it to go well?!”

“Don’t tell us how to care for a recently-turned vampire!” the blonde snaps, pacing towards her, William temporarily forgotten. “I think we’d know better than you!”

“And yet you prove you don’t!” Eloise snaps right back, also moving forward, before they meet in the middle of the room, face-to-face. Eloise, with her one hundred and eighty centimeters, is almost as tall as him, downplaying his attempt to loom over her.

“Who do you think you are?!” the blonde hisses, attempting to loom and intimidate. Eloise just glares at him with her unsettling, almost-white eyes. It takes a lot of mental control to not to combust his pretty face on the spot, so instead Eloise grabs him by the shoulders with nothing more but her magic, and abruptly drags him few steps back.

“The owner of this place, and the person who decides whether you live or die,” she snarls, as he tries to shake off the invisible hands still firmly holding him down, well away from Eloise’s personal space. “And you’re not making a good case for yourself, blondie. Now go upstairs, pack your bags, and OUT before I change my mind and kill you all!”

They all flinch at her tone, because Eloise can muster a rather powerful roar-like shout if need be, even if it makes her throat ache uncomfortably. But it’s authoritative, and Eloise was almost-attacked twice today already, and she’s starting to actually want to kill them.

Getting bloodstains out of the carpets and wooden floors, after all, was only difficult as saying an one-sentence chant and focusing a bit.

The pale asshole all but pounces upstairs when William takes few steps towards him, almost barreling into a sixth figure, a boy in a dark cape, standing at the top of the stairs. This must be the fledgling, Eloise decides.

“Aren’t we even given an option to stay?” the pajama-clad moron asks, wincing all the time at the holes in his shoulders. They’ll heal—maybe, not that Eloise cares—but that doesn’t mean it’s painless. He deserved it, though—things like these happen when you attack people.

“That’s right. Why can’t you just keep them?” a smug, disembodied voice sounds from the direction of the door, instantly putting everyone but Eloise and William on high alert. She, instead, merely turns around to face the materializing woman, because using the door is outdated and teleporting in is the thing nowadays, apparently. The woman is tall, pale, and bony, with creepy, almost-white eyes, and cascades of wavy, red hair.

Baba Yaga, the most potential reason for the vampires being in the Kerrigan Manor to begin with. Eloise suspected the woman would pop up sometime tonight to be her smug, powerful self and lord it over them all mere mortals, but her arriving so early put a wrench in Eloise’s plan of kicking the vampires out without having to kill them.

Instead of addressing any of these points, however, Eloise elects to tackle the point raised by Baba instead.

“Their backlog rent counts in literal hundreds of thousands in cash,” she says angrily. “And I’m under no illusion that they would never be able to pay it off, because I doubt any of them got an actual job, and I would never let them stay before that happened! Besides, two of these fuckers tried to attack me already, and I’m not sharing my roof with aggressive creatures!”

“Ah, so you’d instead allow them to get away, scoot-free, without paying you your thousands in cash, and with their lives?” Baba chuckles. “My, my, dear niece, how altruistic.”

“Don’t hold it against me that I’m tired of killing!” Eloise snaps at the woman. “Which… Admittedly, I am actually obliged to do… And you can report me if I don’t… Ah fuuuuck, what a mess. Fookin’ ‘ell. Ye haed tae come haur, hadn’t ye!”

“Careful dear, your Scottish is showing,” Baba says bemusedly.

“Dinnae care!” Eloise snaps, full Scottish accent just to be contrary. “Canae ye juist let me kick thaim oot an break soum laws by nae killin thaim?!”

“No, I can’t,” the woman answers, unbothered by the outburst and without a care for the six vampires, all ready to strike. “Eloise, consider it, and do so carefully. The second the word gets out, to anybody, if one of them tattles, and one of them will because it’s how life goes, they will be killed regardless, and you will face consequences for them not being killed by your hand.”

“An why dae ye care whit A dae an dinnae dae?” Eloise growls.

“For crying out loud, you stupid child, you’re my family, of course I care about you!” the woman snaps. “Just because I act like I do most of the time doesn’t mean I don’t!”

Eloise blinks at the outburst, leaning back a bit in surprise.

“That’s… Awfully sweet of you, Baba,” she says eventually, carefully, and Baba snorts. “Doesnae change the fact thon it's yer fault tae begin wi! Dinnae deny it, ye're the only ane wha coud ave done this!”

“Alright, hold up, what the hell is going on?” the moron grunts out painfully, pressing at his wounds. “Who on earth are you?”

“Baba Yaga,” Baba says smugly. “The most powerful witch in existence, among other things known for putting an end to Vlad Dracul during the Vampire Uprising, at your service.”

“Very humble,” Eloise mutters. “Baba is the only other person with access to the wards, so you being here is most likely her fault. What are you plotting, Baba?” she asks the woman.

“What if I told you I’d be willing to pay you all of the backlog rent of theirs, and additionally pay them off for the whole year in advance?” Baba asks, and it’s not something Eloise was expecting at all, but also exactly what she was expecting.  “You get the money, they get to stay, you can go register them tomorrow or someday soon, and nobody has to die.”

Eloise grits her teeth. The money is definitely enticing, but is it worth it to become a babysitter of six vampires?

“With coverage for any damages done to the house, including but not limited to unauthorized refurnishing, wear, and lack of proper care?” she asks before she can stop herself, because it’s money they’re talking, and Eloise is really bad saying no to a significant influx of cash.

“Yes. And I’ll throw in a little extra for the attack.”

Eloise grimaces, looking at Baba. “I’m selling their souls to you by proxy, aren’t I?”

A chorus of ‘what’s and ‘don’t you dare’s resounds through the room, and Baba chuckles in a very telling way.

“And what of their registration? Their crimes?” Eloise presses. Baba just smiles, and pulls an envelope out of nowhere, handing it to the younger witch. “You really thought of everything, huh.”

“Of course.”

“I—I’ll need to think about it—” Eloise tries, but her resolve is slipping. They’re talking a really big amount of cash here, and the vampires will get registered and Eloise won’t be breaking the law, and honestly, everybody gains in this situation, even Baba who orchestrated the mess. Or maybe especially Baba, if she will have six vampires indebted to her.

“One million two hundred thousand pound sterling, darling,” Baba all but purrs, and Eloise can feel herself swallowing the bait, hook, line, and the shiny, £-shaped sinker. “All yours.”

Eloise wasn’t even surprised how Baba could calculate their backlog on the spot—if anyone knew how long each vampire stayed in the manor, it was her, but—

Oh who is she fucking kidding.

(She will regret it, she knows. Babysitting six vampires is not something anyone should hope to get through with their sanity intact.)

“y̅͑̐͋̕o҇̇̒͒́̈́u҇͐̍̎,͑͌́͡ m̈́̌͡y͆̊̋̊͠ d҇͌͐e̛̎͊̀̽a̽͋͗̆͡r̐̈́͝e̽̽̿́͡s̒̑͝t͒̄̒͝ M̎͒͝i̓̿͌̇̄͡s̀̽̂́͝ẗ̛́͋͐r̛̍́͒ē͗̀̃̇̕ś͊͡s͗̇̾͞,̛̋̐” William says knowingly, “a̓͗̐͗̆͝ȑ̑̾͝e̛̽̓̚ a̍̈́̎͡ h̃̐͑͛͡o͌̾͝p̓̌͊̂͡e҇̏̅ľ̛̋̍̃ě̓̊̎̈͝s̛͑̆̔̂̚s͒͊̈̚͝ ć̊̂͆̐͞a̔̒̕s͌̽̀͞e̛͂̍̏ o͐͌́̊͊͝f̛̏̋̃ a̾̎̆̔͡ m̍̑̒͝i͆́͝s͋͗͞e̍̏͠ř̂̐̑͂̕.”

“Deal,” she says, ignoring her familiar’s very true jab, and Baba smiles, because she knows, and Eloise does too, that the younger witch was sold the second money was mentioned, even if that meant herding vampires. She’s been through tougher babysitting assignments.

Eloise extends her hand to Baba, and Baba takes it, and magical chains encircle their clasped hands, because of course Baba would make it a magically binding contract. But Eloise isn’t the one it’s directed at—the chains don’t latch at her, instead shooting forwards at the vampires, to the cacophony of yelps, leaving barely-visible, bracelet-like thin scar-tattoos around their right wrists.

“For your information,” Baba says, “I left the fledgling alone. He’s all of two months since turned, and I’d feel bad if a literal baby were to pay the debts of others.”

“Who’s the altruistic one here, now?” Eloise snorts.

“I am. Maybe. He’s barely an adult by mortal standards as-is, and lacking a sire, or a nurturing environment. It’s a miracle he’s still alive, truly. I hope you’ll rectify it.”

“A pet project?” Eloise asks.

“Maybe,” Baba hums noncommittally. “Or maybe just a pet.”

Eloise glares at the ancient witch, who just smiles and vanishes as abruptly as she appeared, but this time with a crack of displaced air, leaving the younger witch, once more, alone with six vampires and her familiar.

Eloise looks at them all, then exchanges a glance with William, and groans.

Why did she agree to this?

Ah.

Money.

That’s why.

“y̏̍̀̚͠õ̅͞ü̍̆̊̿͠r҇̃̆̅̀ g̛͋̒̚r҇̌́̇̒è̈́̿̿͞e͑́̄͂͞ď̛̎̄͗̓ w̌̾͌͠i҇̀͐̌̾̐ĺ͐͝l͆̿͞ b̛̊͊͋͛ế̌͑̃͞ ỷ͊̿͝ȏ̾̍͆͠ü͋̂͠r̈͑̑͐͂͝ d̔͌̈͡ŏ͗̍̚͡w͂̄͠n͗̍̉̂̕f҇͛͆ā̾̓̕l҇̍̓͌l͊̎͞ ŏ̔͡ń̛̑e҇̆̌̍͑̆ ó͒̾̌͝f̍̾͡ t̛͋̃h̋͋͠ẽ̛̌̏s̽̿̄̚̚͡e͌́͞ d̃̽͒̉͠a҇̋̀͛͋̋ẙ̈́͑͒̓͠ś̾̋̅͝,̃̿͛͠” William huffs in exasperated amusement, and pounces straight back into her shadow, vanishing from the physical realm.

“So I guess you’re staying,” Eloise says to nobody in particular. “Fine. Okay. It’s—Fuck. Okay, okay, I got this. I’ll lay ground rules first thing tomorrow. Whoever decided it was a good idea to appropriate the Master Bedroom will find his things outside the door.”

The blonde looked like he wanted to argue, but Eloise just looked at him flatly.

“You may have been a top dog before, blondie, but I own the place, you’re staying here only thanks to the good grace of my heart and Baba’s money, and I’m too retired to deal with your shit today,” she says. “If you want to challenge my authority, door’s right fucking there. That all? No, that not all. Kidlet, when have you eaten last?” she asks the fledgling at the top of the staircase.

He startles a bit at being singled out, looks around for a moment, and only then answers. “Two days ago. Ma’am.”

The overwhelming need to bang her head on the wall so that the world maybe starts making sense again returns to Eloise with vengeance.

“William please tell me you have blood stashed somewhere in the Shadowrealm,” she pleads instead.

William pokes his head out of her shadow. “d͊͐̂̒͋͡ē̊̆̀̚͝e͑̾͝r̓̒̑̀̕̚,҇͛͆̀͊̚ w̍̿̿̎͗͠o̒̇̅̾̾͞l̿́͒͞f͆͛̾̐͞,̾̓͒͡ a͗̽͞ň̍͝ḋ̛̍̏ s̆̃͠o͗͛̍̉͡m҇̌̌ȅ̉́͞ g̛͑̄r͗̔̔̈͝i͒̃͡f̀̽̍̓̄͞f̛̿͌i͒͛͂̓͠n̛͛͛̇ f̛̅́r̛̒̓̎ơ̍̊͛͋̚m̛͂͛ ȏ͆̏̇͞u͂̈́̔̏͞r̒̑͡ l̛͊͌a͊̌͊͆̿̕s̃̽͋̋̂͡t͑̀͐̇͋͡ h̏̈͌̚͝u҇̍̂͑̏n҇̊͐̽͒t́̀͆͞.͒̈́̚̚͠ I͂̎͒̂͞'͌̊̃́̽͠m͗́͞ ń͆̐̕̚ȯ̚͝t̑̀̏͛͠ g͑͂̃̃͛̕í̛͒̓v͒̽͡i̓̽̎̇͝n̆̾͠g̔̈̉̅͞ t̾̓͡h̋͌͞e͆̊͒͊͞ g̈́̎͐̄͂͝r̓͊̓̔̇̕i̍̓̿̎̕f̛̎̏͐̐f̀̏̕i̽̃́͒͒͝n̒̀̑͝ t̎̏͠h̓̄͂̅̏͡ő͑͡ũ͋̽͑͝g̎̊̈́͠h͊̋̾̆͠.”

“Give the deer,” Eloise says, and few seconds later she has an armful of glass jugs filled with blood. “Thanks.”

With that, she moves upstairs, dumps the jugs—three of them, five liters each, full—into fledgling’s arms, and barges into the Master Bedroom. As promised, she gathers and teleports blondie’s things outside the door, throws few cleaning spells around, changes sheets, changes into pajamas, and throws herself onto the bed.

Everything else seems like tomorrow’s Eloise’s problem, and she leaves it at that, falling asleep without a care.

(And maybe with a nasty surprise on the door that zaps the pale asshole when he tries the doorknob.)

(https://picrew.me/image_maker/43267)

#moonlight lovers #ml #eloise #ml eloise #ethan #ml ethan #vladimir #ml vladimir #beliath #ml beliath #raphael #ml raphael #aaron #ml aaron #ivan #ml ivan #fanfiction #prologue #beemov

[yfere]

M9 Signature Moves! (Out of Combat Edition)

Part 2, with some scattered commentary.

Fjord

Fjord wants to understand other people even if he’s not the best at it. Meanwhile, he’d like to avoid making himself understood. He doesn’t like scrutiny, or vulnerability. Better to step back behind someone else.

Mask of Many Faces. What he says: I like people watching :) What he means: I like imitating other people’s voices and appearances to cope with my many issues :)

Deception Check. The funny thing is, I’m fairly certain Fjord’s talent for deception comes not through dedicated practice or being a habitual liar/obfuscater so much as having deadpan sarcasm levels that are so God Tier that everyone else has to really work at figuring out whether he’s joking or not at any given moment. “Make a deception check,” Matt says, when Fjord is literally just making a shitty sarcastic joke. The party routinely giving him Doubtful Looks until he has to explain that he really was just joking, he didn’t mean that, why would you think he meant that. Likes to joke sometimes to avoid more uncomfortable emotions. It’s important to him, to keep it together.

Gift of the Depths Magic that helped him cope with the drowning thing. Erroneously assumes it will also help other people cope with their water issues as well.

Help Action The beautiful thing about Fjord, I think, is that oftentimes he will not lead in any particular task. Even the ones where technically, they would benefit by him leading! What he does instead, routinely, is pick someone else for the task, someone better than him (Caleb for history and investigation, Caduceus for insight, Jester and Beau for perception and so on) or even just a person who wants to do it, and he will help them with that task, or at the very least make sure they get help. And his help is always a useful thing to have. It helps him, too, to step back, to get out of the glare of the spotlight.

Beau

Beau is curious, she is intelligent, and she is talented. But as much as she postures, she’s not really as confident in her abilities as she should be by rights.

Extort Truth Don’t. Lie. To. Me. How Beau wants to know things, wants to know them so badly she will go after secrets with the bluntest of instruments, something painfully obvious—and it will work for her. It works when she punches the truth out of people, just as  it works when she threatens not to let you into her library unless you tell her of your sordid past.

Persuasion Check Don’t. Lie. To. Me….please? No, but it’s brilliant how the party relies on her to handle their most fraught social encounters, even though she’s not the most charismatic, even though she’s personally better at lying than telling the truth. Because, despite everything, she’s the most trustworthy of all of them. They believe in her, rely on her, and they should.

History Check Beau might claim she’s more interested in the doodles of the margins of the books she read at the Cobalt Soul than the texts themselves, but at least part of that is posturing. She’s a big nerd who has done a lot of studying of some obscure shit, and she’s always looking around her to see if any of the fuckery they encounter matches up with one of those shitty lessons she had at the monastery. She pays attention, okay?

Acrobatics Check “I parkour.” It’s gotten to the point where she does not actually need to make skill checks to do her parkour magic. Still, nothing beats running your way out of a literal pit.

Caleb

What Caleb says and what he does are two very different things. Maybe once you take all his spell components away, he’ll actually be forced to use language to express how he feels. But who are we kidding. He’ll start muttering in Zemnian and you’ll be right back where you started with him.

Leomund’s Tiny Hut As with much of Caleb’s magic, a love letter to his special people. Says all the things he refuses to. Developed in an obsessive fervor while his friends were kidnapped, and unveiled when they were rescued so no one would be taken in the night again. Someday, he will make them something even better. He believes in a future where he will make them something even better.

Identify Demonstrating succinctly a lot of what makes Caleb a lovely and generous person, and also what makes him a bit of a secret-hoarding asshole. Because he likes doing favors for people, and showering them with gifts, and when you’re poor the gift lies in the identify and the giving, even when technically the item you were giving away was communal property in the first place. But also, when Caleb wants something because he thinks it’s fair for him to have as it was fair for the others to have their things, he will learn what it is, and he will keep it without a word. Jerk! Explain exactly what it is so we can keep the illusion that this is a fair process you’ve set up!

Find Familiar Caleb really loves Frumpkin, and Frumpkin is supposed to be a cat, and supposed to be with him, getting pet. But if Frumpkin has to be something else because you need him to be, he will. If Frumpkin has to scope out enemy territory for you to be safe, so be it. Frumpkin will be your landing pad, he will be the trade that will let a caged creature go free, he will sit in your pocket as a replacement owl, he will sit in the rain in the dark and watch over you while you sleep.

Suggestion Sometimes Caleb doesn’t want to leave things up to chance. Deep down, he doesn’t really trust people, so when he’s uncertain or threatened he’ll substitute persuasion and insight to force someone to do what he needs them to do. Tell us the truth about who you are. Show me any dangerous items you have on your person. Go with us into the water, so you are not left behind.

Nott

Nott wants to go back to being Veth, but in some ways she’s really living her best life right now, causing trouble and learning how to cause trouble doing things she never knew how to do before.

Message She can talk to who she pleases, but she and Caleb get their own private line, where no one else is invited “You can reply to this message, and only I can hear your reply.” One of their first spells together, the beginning of Nott the Brave, the Arcane Trickster.

Disguise Self Nott wants to feel comfortable in her own skin. And she doesn’t feel it with the spell, she feels just the same, but she looks the way she is supposed to, and that’s a step. A painful step, when the son she hugs can feel the wrongness of her through the illusion even as she clings to him.

Tinker Check/Alchemist’s Supplies Nott is nothing if not a smart cookie, creative, and reckless as fuck. She will mess with chemicals and she will mess with acid and she will mess with gunpowder—all things which feature centrally in special moves that never quite go as planned like Fireline and Fluffernutter. She will blow things up—sometimes herself. But that’s the joy of a creative mind, really.

Mage Hand Why disable the trap when you can just set it off at a distance? Explosions are more fun to watch than not-explosions, after all. Also makes you look like a cool motherfucker when you’re in a drinking contest.

Jester

Art, heart, and imagination...that is Jester. What she does is more than just pranks and troublemaking, though--her skills are integral to solving any goal put forward by the M9. And what of her own goals? Time will tell.

Sending Caleb might be good enough with his polymorphs to turn people into other people, but Jester, her art, and her imagination give her an edge in another spell. All you have to do is describe a person to her, good enough for her to do a real nice police sketch, to imagine what the person is like. And she’ll be able to cast a spell that will communicate with them anywhere, even though she’s never laid eyes on them before. A hard spell to wrangle for a natural chatterbox, maybe, but her sheer talent you cannot deny.

Zone of Truth She’s too good of an investigator to really need it for interrogation, or believe it when she does use it for detective work. Zone of Truth, Jester believes, can only be truly relied on when paired with the sacrosanct tradition of Truth or Dare.

Locate Object Woooooow, so she was the only one not to get robbed, huh? Guess who is the most responsible person with money after all? Jester is always looking for things important to other people, whether it be lost coinpurses, seals, or those creepy cloven orbs that Fjord keeps sticking into his body. “Oh, he’s going to be so upset!” she despairs, when she can’t find it. But then she picks up where the key has gone, and lights up with joy. She looks for what’s important to others, before ever looking for what’s important to her (because once you stop stop looking it will hit you in the face)

Forgery Kit The pen is mightier than the sword! At nigh every stage of her adventure with the M9, it has been her immaculate paper trail that has enabled them to accomplish their goals and not end up rotting behind bars. Pulled off some amazing government reshuffling, too. I would fear her as a diplomat.

Caduceus

Caduceus has very set ideas about how the world works, but sometimes his lack of experience with the outside world causes him real problems. He isn’t worried, though.

Insight Check Caduceus is a person Fjord believes with some justification to be a kind of mind reader. He certainly has pretty god-like powers here, and he is both a benevolent god and just. He senses sugar off of you, he will bring you a veggie platter. He senses guilt, he will release you from prison against your will so you can face your wrongdoings in the world. Caduceus knows best--at least Caduceus thinks so.

Divination When Caduceus finds out you have family you’re searching for, he will invoke Melora’s aid to find out if they’re safe out there, or what direction they're headed in so you can save them. Caduceus, aren’t you wondering what happened to your own family? No, he’s not going to cast a spell for that, it’s best if he didn’t question…

Create Food and Water Above all else, Caduceus wants the people he cares about to be eating well. Do his non-vegetarian, pocket-bacon loving friends agree with him on what eating well is? Is the beanpole skinny-ass firbolg eating well himself? Ummmmm…

Nature Check he doesn’t know what that is or how it works, but it sure is pretty. When you think about it, everything is just more territory. Nature is nature no matter where you go. Sure, that man-eating seaweed seems a bit odd, as does the enormous murderous bird.  But when you think about it, can you really be surprised by it?

Yasha

Yasha struggles a lot--with grief, with getting close to people. But in her strange, standoffish way, she is always there when it counts. And she’ll always be there, for her entire life and beyond. She has that kind of loyalty, that kind of drive.

Investigation Check She looks for flowers, and special things, in out of the way places, and keeps them in her book.

Strength Check These arms are worth a lot! A check tailor made for impressing people at circuses, winning arm wrestling competitions, and for chasing tail while saving your friends.

Dexterity Check You can shave your friend with your greatsword. That’s how you keep your legs so smooth and shiny, after all.

Necrotic Shroud It happened again.

#critical role #fjord #beauregard #caleb widogast #nott the brave #jester lavorre #caduceus clay #yasha nydoorin #the mighty nein #cr spoilers

[ghostbandxyou]

Sleepy Times (Some NSFW 18+ only!)

Nihil-

Being an older gentleman Nihil tends to go to bed early so you probably join him in bed later in the evening.

At first, you couldn't sleep the sounds of his oxygen mask keeping you up late into the night, but now you can't sleep without it.

In the morning you usually bring him his meds and breakfast then curl up next to him under the covers.

Nihil probably sleeps on his back or on his side facing away from you so you either sleep holding his hand or pressing your back up next to him.  

Papa i-

He's a heavy sleeper probably snores when he will hold you to his chest and conk out (Ear plugs may be necessary).

He wears the same pair of black silk PJs every night, His sheets are probably silk too.  

Papa ii-

He usually drags you to bed around 10 even throwing you over his shoulder and carrying you to the bed if he has to.

He gets grumpy when he's tired but doesn't like going to bed without you so he often will wait around while you finish up your daily activities and get ready for bed

You usually end up sleeping with your head on his chest, his arm wrapped loosely around your waist.

Papa iii (NSFW)-

both of you usually end up sleeping naked (if you know what I mean... wink wink nudge nudge)

He's a big fan of romantic, lazy, sleepy morning sex especially after a particularly rough session before bed.

At night you are a tangle of limbs.

Fighting over the blanket is also common he calls you a blanket hoarder.

Cardinal Copia-

Your lucky if he even makes it to the bed often you find him asleep in the library snoring loudly.

You usually wake him up and drag him to bed with you but some nights you just lay him down on the library couch cover him in a blanket, kiss his forehead, and leaving him be.

When he's really busy he will stay up till the early hours of the morning so you opt to sleep on the couch just to be close to him. On those nights you fall asleep to the sounds of him scribbling and mumbling to himself in Italian.  

Era 3 ghouls:

Omega-

You don't necessarily have a bedtime routine sometimes he's in bed first other times it's you.

If it's him you slip under the covers with him and drape his arm over you snuggling into his warm embrace.

If it's you he gets under the covers and nuzzles his head into your shoulder pulling you tight into his chest.

Alpha-

he's a night owl, most of the time you get into bed at around 10 but spend the next couple hours giggling and messing around in a tired semi-delusional state.

He is not a morning person getting very grumpy when woken to early a hot cup of coffee usually does the trick.

Era 4 ghouls:

Aether-

okay, we all know that he is a beefy boy like he is an absolute unit. So it's no surprise he is the best at cuddling.

You will lay your head on his chest and snuggle up to him every night.

Basically, you cling to him like a koala he makes you feel warm and safe in his arms.

When he's on tour he often doesn't sleep well without you. So sometimes he will pull a picture of you up on his phone just to look at while falling asleep. (it sounds creepy but it's not)

Dewdrop (NSFW)-

Dew usually joins you in bed sliding under the covers next to you.

In the morning you lay in bed together scrolling through your phones.

If you lay your head on his chest while doing this he will put his phone down watching you scroll through your feed instead and commenting. Examples: “Whos that?” “that's a good cat” “why is he shirtless?”

If he wakes up horny he will begin kissing your neck grinding himself into you.

when your eyes flutter open he's smirking at you with lustful eyes.  

Swiss-

Swiss is a cheeky mother fucker.

He likes to take pictures of you sleeping on him and post them in the churches group chat.

When he's feeling needy though he becomes very cat-like rubbing up against you, he loves if you stroke his hair he will purr and do that cat chatter thing that's so fucking cute.

He also chitters in his sleep you have a couple videos of it on your phone

Rain-

Rain likes to be held while sleeping when spooning he's always the little spoon.

He has trouble getting to sleep some nights, on those occasions if you run your fingers through his hair or trace circles on his back while whispering that he's safe and you love him he will fall asleep quickly and sleep soundly.

He may be a needy ghoul but if you have a nightmare or need comfort his quick to do the same to you.

Mountain-

Restless sleeper constantly moving don't be surprised if you wake up with your heads at the foot of the bed.

In the morning his hair sticks up in all directions, almost like he was electrocuted in his sleep.

He often has dreams about drumming, he will tap his fingers on your back. Once he sat up in bed pounding out a full imaginary drum solo then fell back into the pillows no memory of it in the morning.

Tall Ghoulett-

She always drinks tea before bed to help her sleep especially when she gets back from tour and is jet-lagged.

Unfortunately, this means she usually has to pee in the middle of the night to expect to have your arms peeled of her sometime in the night so she can go. (Don't even think about it you kinky fucks)

When you cuddle up next to her in the evening she smells like lavender and chamomile just like her favorite tea.

Smol Ghoulett-

She's an early riser 7 am sharp sometimes earlier.

Most of the time if you're still asleep she will slip out of bed to make coffee then sneak back into bed (coffee in hand) next to you trying not to wake you up.

If you're not up by 9 she will get impatient and start nudging and poking you awake claiming that she misses you.

#the band ghost #ghost band #nameless ghouls #nameless ghoul #ghost bc #aether ghoul #dewdrop ghoul #rain ghoul #era 4 ghouls #mountain ghoul #ghoulettes #swiss army ghoul #omega ghoul #alpha ghoul #papa emeritus iii #papa emeritus zero #papa ii #papa nihil #papa i

[sauntered-vaguely-downward]

Irrational Fears. Sam Winchester x Reader

There was a reason the Winchesters kept you around. You were badass, trustworthy, intelligent beyond belief and fearless… well, they thought you were fearless but you knew otherwise.

You rounded the corner of the library, heaving the noise of the small telly. Dean was watching one of the old westerns he loved, but by the time you took a seat in between the boys, the film was drawing to a close.

“My turn to pick the next film,” Sam smiled, moving from the sofa to choose one of the videotapes in front of him. It has been a long time since you’d had a movie days with the boys so were more than happy to watch the action-filled films they were likely to pick. Sam, as usual, was taking forever to pick a film so you decided to go and get snacks from the kitchen.

When you came back Sam was placing the video in the VHS player. You settled back down in your space between the boys, snacks in your lap. Dean instantly grabbed for the bag of chips, making you chuckle. As Sam sat back down beside you, opening his arms out so you could do your usual of snuggling close to him, the film began to play. The familiar opening tune made you sit upright, a slight shudder running through you.

Now much like your boyfriend and his brother, you were a hunter. There was a reason the boys kept you around and it wasn’t just because you were a pretty face. You were fierce, smart, and hella badass. You’d gone face to face with most monsters people thought only came from their nightmares. Demons, werewolves, vampires, and even the Devil himself, just a handful of the dangerous beings you had gone face to face with and yet as the owl swooped across the screen, you couldn’t help the slight irrational fear that coursed through you.

You knew it was silly, this was technically a children's film, but you decided that your best bet was to simply snuggle into Sam, close your eyes and just listen to the film when it got to the bit you dreaded the most.

Sam felt the way you tensed as the film started. While usually yes you would snuggle close to him when you watched films, today you seemed to get considerably closer than usual, hiding your face in his chest as though you were hiding.

“I haven’t seen this film in ages,” Dean smiled. “It's such a good film. The Labyrinth is a classic.” You would disagree, mostly because this film was filled with the one thing you hated. Puppets. You hated them, everything about them freaked you out. The fake voices, the way they looked lifelike yet lacked the ability to express more than one facial expression, their beady little eyes. Puppets freaked you out since you were a child so this film was essentially a nightmare for you. However, even if the little soulless demons scared you more than they should have, you couldn’t tell Sam.

Since you had gotten together around six months ago, Sam hadn’t really seen you express any vulnerabilities. You were a badass hunter in his eyes. Sure, behind closed doors you were sweet and caring but he hadn’t ever seen you be vulnerable before. Plus, if you told Sam to turn off the film now, you wouldn’t just be telling him about your irrational fear, but also Dean, who would never let you hear the end of it, just like he did with Sams fear of clowns. So rather than bring it up you decided to just suck it up and shut your eyes for the majority of the film, starting when the creepy little goblin fucks came on to the screen.

The film played on, you enjoyed just listening but any time you opened your eyes you were met with the face of a puppet, causing you to flinch and shut your eyes again, cuddling more into Sams side. Sam, of course, noticed, Dean would have noticed too had he not fallen asleep. Sam couldn’t help but worry a little bit but when he asked if you were okay you just nodded, keeping your eyes closed.

When the film had finished you were relieved. Looking at the clock you saw it was late, so you and Sam decided to go to bed, leaving Dean snoozing softly on the sofa.

You’d put the film behind you, grateful you could just close your eyes and pretend there weren’t puppets on the screen.

Sam could still sense the slight tension as you slipped into the bed beside him, cuddling into him again. He knew you well enough to know something was wrong.

“Y/N, babe,” he sat up, pulling you with him so he could look at your face. “Why did you have your eyes shut during the film? Did you not enjoy it?”

“Oh no, it's not that,” you mumbled. Clearly, you hadn’t been as discreet about blocking out the film as you thought.

“Was it David Bowie’s bulge? I can understand why you wouldn’t wanna look at that,” he chuckled a deep chesty chuckle. You couldn’t help but giggle. Sam had a way of making you smile even when you didn’t want too. You sighed, taking a deep breath before muttering out,

“Ihaveafearofpuppets.” You said it so quickly Sam didn’t quite catch it.

“What did you say, babe?”

“I have a fear of puppets,” you mumbled again, just a little louder this time so he could hear it. Sam was honestly a little stunned by this. Sam hadn’t ever seen you show fear, not even the toughest cases you worked, so for you to tell him you had a fear of something like this was very surprising to hear.

You couldn’t help but feel a little bit embarrassed by this, especially seeing the look of shock on his face.

“Why didn’t you say, baby?” Sam could see the embarrassment along your cheeks so pulled you in for a hug. “We could have picked something else.” “Dean was there, and come on, he's a bit of a dick when it comes to other peoples weaknesses,” Sam laughed, his chest jumping making your head bounce.

“That’s true. Why didn’t you tell me this before babe, had I known I would have never put the film on.”

“Because I’m a hunter. We’re not meant to have silly little fears like that.”

“I’m scared of clowns.” “Yeah, but a clown could actually kill you.”

“Thanks babe, lovely reminder of why I fear them,” he chuckled.

“Sorry,” you giggled back, “but you know what I mean. Clowns are alive, all things alive have the potential to be dangerous. Puppets on the other hand, well they can’t do anything to me so it’s kind of stupid to fear them.” Sam placed a gentle kiss on your lips, pulling you closer.

“Babe, sometimes fears aren’t rational, but that doesn’t mean you can’t fear them,” he smiled, pulling back and taking your cheeks in his hands. “Thank you for telling me this, because now I can protect you from the puppets.”

“And I'll protect you from the clowns,” you pulled him back in for a kiss, gently tugging him down to lay with you in the bed. Even if at that moment when you told him you had felt more vulnerable than ever, you had to admit it was nice opening up to him, especially knowing that he would protect you if you ever did come head to head with one of the fuzzy bastards.

So this fic is one that I thought of not long ago. 

I have a fear of puppets so I thought I’d make a fluffy fic about it. (Please don’t judge me, also the muppets and sesame street are fine its just every other puppet that freaks me out, in particular, Bagpuss). I have plenty of irrational fears (this being the worst one) but here are a couple other silly fears I have alongside the puppets. 

Rats/Mice in any form of animation (the mice in Coraline or the rat king in Hilda are perfect examples of this irrational fear of mine. THE WORST ARE THE SINGING MICE IN BAGPUSS BECAUSE THEY FREAKY FUCKS AND PUPPETS)

Stop motion animation films, particularly if they involve clay (I can't watch Coraline or nightmare before Christmas because they literally fill me with so much dread I feel like I need to die) 

Last weird one I will share with you is my fear of windows at night... this came from a scary story I read online one where someone said they saw a face behind them in the window... now I'm scared of dark windows. Also mirrors at night. 

ANYWAY BACK TO BEING A NORMAL PERSON I HOPE YOU LIKED MY FIC AND WON’T JUDGE ME TO HARD FOR BEING SCARED OF SO MANY THINGS!!!!

#Sam #sam winchester #sam x reader #sam winchester x reader #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural x reader #supernatural fan fic #supernatual reader insert #supernatural fanfic #reader #reader insert #dean #dean winchester #dean x reader #dean winchester x reader

[kihuis]

Diaries of the Insomniacs [ I ]

Yoo Kihyun x Reader

Chapter Genre/Rating: Mature; NSFW - mentions of masturbation and drug use Word Count: 3.3k

m.list

Fueled on nothing but too much caffeine and a half hour nap, you lazily stroll into your first class of college, the only one you unwillingly decided to take to keep your professor father happy that you might finally have your life in check after too many years of pretending it was going nowhere. As the early bird of the family, he’s never understood you’re nighttime habits and has always constantly scolded you for staying up too late and sleeping through homeroom.

When you applied to college, you made sure to have a schedule you could abide by. Having night classes has more perks than the fact that it’s the only time you can stay awake. The lower teacher to student ratio makes it easier to focus and you need that a lot right now. In order to truly make your father happy, you need to take school seriously, and that’s what you intend to do.

You arrive to class nearly fifteen minutes late, something you were anticipating. Last night you scavenged the entire campus to find any sign of night life, looking for some kind of twenty four hour cafe or library or coffee shop, but to no avail. You ended up reading on your dorm couch until six in the morning, finishing Jane Eyre for the fifth time. A couple times, you heard drunk voices of the boys and girls heading back to their rooms for the night but not once did you hear any leaving, something you were hoping for. Finding a friend might be the last thing on your list of things to do, but it’s something that might help you bide your time in ways other than reading the same old stories over and over again.

You find a seat at the back of the room, happy to see that your teacher hardly notices your late entry and continues with her talking.

“What’s one thing I can expect from you as far as assignments goes? Well, it’s effort. I know Language Composition isn’t the most exciting class you’ll take, but I’m not a fan of half-assed work,” she says as she rifles through papers on her desk. The students around you follow her lead and you realize they’re going over the class syllabus. You printed it out yesterday right before the campus library closed.

Getting it out of your bag, you try to find the page she’s reading from. It’s not a hugely detailed syllabus but there’s five pages and considering how late you are, she could be well past the second page at this point.

Sensing your struggle, the guy next to you gives you a nudge, holding up three fingers when you look over at him. His shaggy brown hair lightly covers his eyes, but you can tell he’s keeping them on his paper. You smile in thanks, turning to the correct page to follow along.

The last thing you remember before you finally begin to doze off is your professor going on about essays and tests before you’re jolted away by a harsh push on the back of your chair. You sit up, trying to gain your composure and let your eyes adjust again to the light. You’re surprised to see the classroom is vacated except for you and whoever kicked your chair to wake you. 

You turn slightly, surprised to see the culprit is the guy who helped you before. His hands are shoved into the pockets of his jacket. He looks intimidating yet soft, like he’s that stereotypical bad boy type that falls for the princess.

“A new class starts in like fifteen minutes so unless you’re in it, too, you might want to leave,” he says calmly, nodding towards the door. You expect him to leave, too, but he stays, watching you as you begin to pick up your things. 

This is why you told your dad it was best if you didn’t have any morning classes. You were embarrassed enough in high school due to your problem and you didn’t want to be that girl again in college. Looks like you’re off to a great start.

“Is your next class in here or something?” you ask him, curious as to why he’s still here.

“No. But we live in the same dorm and you seem new to campus so I though I would do the polite thing and help you out,” he says.

Now you look up at him. “How do you know where I live?” you ask him, standing up with your bag. He follows as you walk out the door.

“Because I saw you moving in. It’s not like it’s that creepy, there were more than twenty of us in the common area and you were going back and forth,” he tells you, as if that makes it any less creepy than it sounds. “I’m Changkyun by the way.”

“So glad the weirdo has a name,” you respond, not wanting to humor this guy and instead just wanting to climb in bed at this very second and get in your daily sleep. You don’t have another class until eight tonight, so you have plenty of time to catch up on it.

“Helpful weirdo,” he states.

The air outside is hotter than you remember. You’re usually used to crisp, cool nights under the moon, so having the sun looking down on you is only adding to the tired soaring through your veins. You visibly yawn as you trek through the crowds of people making their way to and from classes while you try to remember the way to your own dorm. That’s the thing about only getting thirty minutes of sleep, you tend to have a lower memory lapse, something you tried to warn your father about as well.

“Does the tired recluse have a name?” Changkyun asks suddenly.

You gape at him, trying to quicken your pace, but your feet are too tired to carry you any faster than a sloth. At least a recluse can move faster than you can.

“Excuse me?”

“Insomnia I’m guessing,” he says. His black combat boot kicks at the light dust on the ground. You’re wondering why he’s wearing so many layers in the sunlight. Maybe he’s a night owl like you but that wouldn’t explain his early schedule.

“Oh, so you’re a know-it-all too,” you quip with an eye roll. “Thanks for your inappropriately timed hospitality, but I think I’m okay.” You begin to stalk off when he speaks again.

“You sure?”

“Yes, I am positive,” you tell him without even looking back at him.

“No really, are you sure? Because our dorm is that way,” he speaks up, pointing in the opposite direction that you’re walking in. You let out a loud sigh and turn to him again.

“I wasn’t headed to the dorm. I was going to the library,” you say as you turn to continue walking.

“Then why are you headed that way?” he’s asking now.

You stop in your tracks, another loud sigh escaping your lips before you turn around to him again. He’s squinting in the sunlight at you, looking as tired as you feel. Perhaps he’s a little like you, but that doesn’t make his smug and annoyingly correct remarks about you any less annoying.

“Can I at least make sure you get back to your room safely? I was on my way, too,” he tells you, nodding his head like he did in the classroom earlier.

“I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself,” you comment, watching his mouth send you a slight smirk. “But since you so obnoxiously pointed out, I am a little lost as it’s my first day so I guess I will make an exception.”

He huffs out a laugh and looks at you expectantly, tilting his head to the side. As much as you hate your dogs for doing it, they start walking towards him, screaming at every step to lay the fuck down before you pass out in the middle of campus.

“So, does the lady insomniac have a name?”

“What, are you an expert on insomnia? Reading all the signs or something?” you ask him. Who is he to get into your business? Not that you totally mind. He’s pretty cute you guess.

“As a fellow insomniac, it’s hard not to notice.”

So he is like you. Just someone who prefers the company of the moon to that of the sun, which by the way is still glaring down at you, cursing at you to get the sleep you so well deserve.

“Y/N,” you finally reveal. “And if you’re an insomniac, then why are you in a morning class?”

“Why are you?” he retaliates. You’re finally starting to recognize the path to your dorm.

“I asked you first.”

The last thing you want is your life to turn into some crappy rom-com and Changkyun here isn’t doing too well at letting you dodge that outcome. I asked you first. Absolutely cliche.

“I’m good at pretending,” he says simply, not elaborating. “You’re turn.”

“Strict father,” you say simply, not elaborating.

Changkyun nods, not asking you to and you’re thankful for that despite being irritated by his smart remarks. You don’t feel like getting into your family issues with a practical stranger.

“So what is there to do around here in the a.m.?” you ask him. Your bones are whispering about how tired they are, how fragile they feel under the day lit sky. It’s a wonder how you’ve made it this long without falling to the ground like your body wishes it could. You’re usually asleep by now, but that’s not necessarily a surprise.

“Not much truthfully. A lot of us go out into the city. We have a loft out there that we party at. But if you’re not into that, there’s a twenty four hour diner just outside the east of campus. That’s your best bet if you don’t want to be stuck in the dorm all night.”

“Any scenery?”

“A little. There’s an old baseball field about thirty miles outside of town. It’s quite the drive, but it’s worth it once you get out there. We play pickup games sometimes.”

“There’s a lot of we talk happening. Cheating on me already?” you ask jokingly. Now even your hands are wailing at you, begging for mercy. Subconsciously, you pop each knuckle before placing your hands into your own pockets, mimicking Changkyun’s position.

“Well, you never asked me to go steady,” he plays along.

Once you finish your way past the courtyard and back onto another sidewalk, you find yourself remembering walking the same path back from the library under the full moon the night before, finally gracious for the familiar footsteps despite your now tired body. With every step you take that you know you’re closer to your bed, it’s like your muscles begin to give in. You can already tell that the moment you step into your room, you’re bound to pass out immediately.

“So as a night owl, I can understand why you weren’t only late to Language Comp but also fell asleep for half of it,” Changkyun tells you as the two of you approach your dorm. “A couple cups of coffee can only do so much, you know?”

“They didn’t do anything for me this morning,” you say through a yawn, covering your mouth with your elbow.

“If you ever need help, I know a guy.” He pulls his student ID out of his pocket and holds it up to the door sensor, confirming that he’s a student here and letting you both into the dorm.

“Sounds sketchy,” you say without missing a beat. What kind of guy does he know?

“It is, I guess,” he laughs before pulling out a pill capsule from his pocket. “How do you think I’m still awake at this ungodly hour?”

You don’t even want to ask, so you don’t. Interesting how this guy just met you and is already comfortable enough to let you know he’s on speed at this moment. Probably not a great thing to be hanging around with him, although, the thought of royally pissing off your father makes you oddly satisfied. It’s not like you plan to take drugs to stay awake. You’re smarter than that.

You follow Changkyun through the common area, mostly girls with coffee cups on their laptops plaguing the room. There’s a couch at the far end of the room where a guy is asleep, but you can’t see anything of his face of than a pink tuft of hair. The only other males in the vicinity are in the middle of a pool game, one rather tall one waving at Changkyun as you pass by. Instead of stopping though, he continues to walk with you towards the stairs. 

“Thanks,” you tell him quickly before walking up them. When he continues to follow you, you’re quick to turn around, stopping him. “So are you just going to continue to stalk me?”

He doesn’t respond just smiles and shakes his head before stepping around you and walking up the steps. “I live here too, you know.”

You sigh and curse to yourself, forgetting the fact. Obviously he was headed to his room, too. As if it might save you from embarrassment, you continue your trek up the stairs towards your room, feeling much like you’re following him now. He decides to tease you some more, turning on his heel as soon as you reach the second floor. 

“Are you just going to continue to stalk me?” His eyes are testing you, a taunting look in them. He’s enjoying your little game, having too much fun flirting with you.

You keep your composure, letting yourself look like he’s not getting to you. With a tilt of your head, you raise one eyebrow in a testing manner before echoing his actions from seconds ago, stepping around him and walking towards your room.

You’re sure to give him one last look before closing your door behind you.

The campus is quiet and nearly vacated by the time your final class of the day ends. It’s already almost ten thirty by the time you arrive back to your dorm, feeling plenty awake. Your day usually starts around midnight, so you feel you have time to kill before you need to head out and look for that mysterious diner Changkyun told you about earlier or even the baseball field or even the loft. You’re hoping to find the diner over that, though. No telling what goes on there.

You decide to start finishing the readings your teachers assigned and getting a head start on the homework you’d received. Going into Journalism isn’t exactly the job of your dreams, but you’ve always loved writing and to make a career out of it is difficult to come by unless you go for something as serious as news. It’s exactly what your father told you and as much as you hate to admit it, you have to agree with him. You have to be realistic about this, and if you want to write, this is the best path you can take.

After a while, you check the time. Nearly three. You have enough time to do some laundry before heading out.

Shutting down your computer, you cross your room to the laundry hamper. The nice thing about living alone is that you don’t have to worry about waking up a roommate. You’re free to do whatever you need to do as late as you feel like it.

You grab your hamper and head out the door. There’s not a whole of clothes to do yet considering you only got to campus a couple days ago. It also might be because you were too lazy to do laundry before you moved out of your house and instead just packed your dirty clothes to bring to the dorm.

Walking down the hall, you try to take note of the doors that have light peeking under them, seeing only one out of the twenty. You’re tempted to knock, but that’s only room for a creepy first impression, but why else would someone be awake at three in the morning? It has to be someone like you, only able to be conscious under the presence of the moon.

You skip spying on any other doors and head straight to the bottom floor showers where the laundry room is also located. Community showers mean less privacy, at least for day seekers that is. As someone who’s only awake at night, you don’t think you have much to worry about as far as a private shower goes.

And apparently you’re not the only one who thinks that, because as you’re passing the door to the showers, you hear water running. You suddenly wonder if perhaps it’s Changkyun since he lives here too. But when you hear a voice that doesn’t belong to him begin to sing, you realize it’s not and head into the laundry room. Maybe it’s one of his friends, the ones who he parties with at sketchy lofts and plays pickup games of baseball under no light other than the moon. 

After putting your laundry into the washer, curiosity gets the best of you. You head back out into the lobby to go through the bathroom door, but you stop short when you hear the same singing voice halt and begin to moan. 

Whoever the voice belongs to gets steadily louder and you wonder if he is getting a blowjob or simply just getting himself off. Despite the weirdo in you who wants to find out, you decide to ignore your poor judgement and head back up to your room to get a head start on the new book you bought the day before.

Once plenty of time has passed for your clothes to get washed, you go back downstairs to transfer your laundry into the dryer. As you’re walking out of the laundry room for the second time, someone walks out of the showers at the same time. You don’t recognize his face, but the pink dye on his hair makes you realize he’s one of the guys who was in the common room this morning. He’d been passed out on the couch instead of playing pool with the other two guys or flirting with the numerous females around. Now he’s only wearing a pair of jeans and shoes, a towel slung over his bare shoulder.

Considering his damp hair, you can assume he’s the one from before that you heard in immense pleasure. No one is with him, so you can also assume that he was alone while he was in the middle of a climax. Now all you can do is picture him naked.

You feel your face heat up as you pretend not to notice him, walking right past him towards the stairs again. He’s close behind you on the stairs and you have to force yourself not to turn around. When you reach your floor and begin to head down to your room, he decides to speak.

“You always do you laundry at three in the morning?” he asks. His voice definitely matches the singing and moaning you heard in the shower.

Turning around, you try to keep your eyes from straying to his crotch. You don’t know what t looks like but it’s not a hard thing to imagine. He’s very attractive, too, which is just adding to the situation. You decide to play it cool and clap back sassily.

“Do you always masturbate at three in morning?”

He chuckles and clutches his towel, removing it from his shoulder before continuing up the steps. He doesn’t speak again until he’s nearly around the corner of the next floor up.

“Only on Mondays.”

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