#and that sounds guilt trippy whenever i say it and i don't mean for it to it's just the reality of the situation. it's always been like that

[ex-furry]

here we go

#coming back to this post like an hr later cuz i don't wanna make a new post but i am not doing well ✌ like at all. i just have so much #building up inside me i feel so miserable. and i can't even cry or scream like i have been the past few days because my parents are back #and they don't get it. i feel like my emotions are never taken seriously and saying that sounds so stupid but. idk i just feel like people #irl. my parents. dismiss my emotions so easily. if i'm angry it's funny if i'm sad it's funny. it's heartbreaking. i just want to be able to #have emotions without being mocked. i want people to take me seriously and i know it's hard to take a person like me seriously but #i wish it weren't. and i'm upset about so many things that math assignment was just the cherry on top and i couldn't stop crying after that #and i know that once i start having to commute my depression is just gonna get worse and it already is because it's my second semester here #and i'm still going through ''transfer shock'' but it's been an entire semester so i don't know if i can even really call it that. #transferring has ruined my mental stability. like i couldn't have gone straight to a 4-year but i wish i had but realistically things would #be the same or worse even because i'd be at UT. and things were kind of like this at my cc honestly like i was very alone i don't think it #was this bad but it wasn't like i had more than one person i talked to when i was on campus. now i don't talk to anyone. even in breakout #rooms on zoom. earlier i thought about that time in a journalism zoom where i got put into a room with three girls who already knew e/o and #it was just miserable i felt so awful. but it's always been like this so it'll always be like this won't it. junior yr was when i realized #that i orbit around others and no one has ever orbited around me. i realized that i'm the kind of ''friend'' you only talk to when you have #to or when you have nobody else to talk to. the friend you only talk to when they happen to be around. you never reach out to them. #and that sounds guilt trippy whenever i say it and i don't mean for it to it's just the reality of the situation. it's always been like that #i've been on a decline ever since i realized that and i've tried figuring out what it is but i think it's unfixable because it's just me #that's how it has to be for me because it's never been any other way and i'm almost 21. and that's been the main motivator i guess in my #depression and suicidal ideation. that's what ruins everything. there's almost no coming back from it. but i get it i understand that i am #hard to be around and embarrassing. i've always known that. i went on an orchestra trip in 7th grade and it was the last one i ever went on #bc it was miserable. i was rooming with three or four girls who were friends with my friend but they never seemed to like me so it was just #awkward. they invited me to play cards in the hotel but i knew it was just bc they like felt bad so i said no and when we went out to like #the mall and aquarium and stuff i stayed out of every picture. either i was the one taking it or i was standing to the side. they did #photobooth pictures together and i was standing outside of it and this woman asked me why i wasn't ''in there with my friends'' and i was #like. i don't know how to explain my insecurities about this but i just knew i didn't belong in there. esp because i was only rooming with #them because i had nobody else to room with. and that's just one thing but it's a running theme in my life. an example of a constant #and i don't necessarily care abt that incident anymore like it still hurts but it also still happens. i was meant to exist by myself #and that fucking sucks. and because of that i cannot think of a single reason to stay here. and i've been so mad at myself recently because #i am still here and i just shouldn't be. there's nothing here for me except pain from these things and i wouldn't really be hurting anyone #by leaving. not to sound guilt trippy. i should just do it. i have to

[mostly-sentence-starters]

Advice seeking anon here! I wanted to thank you! It was sort of about the technical side of rping and more on tips on how to deal with....the emotional side of things? But not like reactions/stuff going on in the threads I do have. But like...the disappointment of expectation.(Example that made me ask in the first place: Though unrelated but important to start off this with is that...I have friends who are mutuals but we don't write together. We do interact. Liking and commenting on posts and building a friendship that way. I am hecka anxious and I'm working on it. Like ya know, believing that mutuals DO wanna get asks from me and memes. But it's still disheartening when you send in memes they post, make starters, but they go unanswered with the other person later making posts about wanting more threads and being bored. I've had plenty of reasons myself as to why I can't answer certain threads. Ranging from time, RL errands or demands, or just the muse. I feel guilty they're not having fun but I don't feel like trying cos it's clear they're not waiting to hear from ME and so...I dunno, looking for tips on how as learn to calm my anxiety over not being the fix other people are looking for...but now that I've written this out, I'm guessing no one doing hobbies for free will be able to tell me much beyond...it's out of my control. And I guess to focus on what I can do.....I feel like being a kid again. Being in the same class with someone, even the same table and working together and being genuinely friendly but like...they still have their group of friend they hope to get hand written notes from.)

Hey there again Nonnie! There’s a lot to unpack here so most of it will be under the readmore! I totally get what you’re saying though and I have been mutuals with people similar to those you are describing. Of course every situation is quite different though, so keep that in mind.

First and foremost, of course it is important for people to remember RP IS a hobby. However, it is a collaborative hobby which means there is some mutual respect and decency required and communication is a must.

Of course real life / mental health / how much muse someone has / etc is a factor in how active a mun is. That makes sense and is valid.

From what I’ve noticed from my time RPing is that not everyone wants the same thing out of RP. A good chunk of people are more focused toward short on-dash treads/crack interactions, asks, writing headcanons, and plotting OOC. But not so much doing actual threads.

This version of RP quite frankly not for me, and it sounds like it's not what you’re looking for either. My primary concern is, and always will be the writing part of roleplay. This may just not be what this other person’s priority is, which may just mean you aren’t compatible. This doesn’t mean they can’t or shouldn’t RP this way--it just means it doesn’t mesh well for how you RP.

It sounds like you are putting forth an effort to extend an olive branch to them to RP. And that’s good! I do think it’s important to give people chances--to an extent.

But how you are describing what’s happening sounds very similar to some experiences I’ve had with RPers that have and issue with attention pandering/passive-aggressive behavior(x) on dash, which is very much not okay. If you have tried several times to extend a branch to them through memes/starters/etc. and the other person NEVER answers but is constantly or often harping OOC about how they want interactions but never send anything to other people and never answer asks you sent them yet still say they want attention/asks/etc?

That’s very guilt-trippy and acting like others exist to be at their beck and call whenever they want attention. And to piggyback on this post (x) you don’t owe anything to people who are not treating you with equal respect.

If this was a case where the mun had sporadic activity due to IRL/mental heath/etc. and thus can’t send in many memes to other people because of it, but do when they can but are just overall slow and sporadic with their activity? That’s fine (though it may not be compatible with all other RPers) it is fine and acceptable behavior to have a busy life and not be tied to your computer. But you should not be made to feel guilty for not showering someone with attention and keeping them happy 24/7.

I get very stressed out by seeing posts like “I’m bored! Come bother my muse! / Send me asks! / I want more threads! / I want more ships!” as well. Of course, in the end it’s up to you. Me however, I usually find myself unfollowing and dropping partners who do this because of the distress it causes me. RP shouldn’t be something that stresses you out to those levels or makes you cater to someone else’s every whim. 

Honestly Anon, you may just have to let these people go. In my opinion, only from what I’ve heard it doesn’t sound like they are extending the same respect to you despite your attempts to make things work.

There are however, many people in the RPC who don’t do this type of thing that you will be far more compatible with and less stressed out by interacting with them. I personally recommend seeking those people out instead of giving chance after chance to people it sounds like it just won’t work out with.

But that’s only my experience, from what I can understand from your situation from this one ask. Maybe it is worth it to you to stick it out a little bit longer and see if you can make things work Perhaps filter/blacklist the mun’s OOC tag to stop you from seeing their posts asking for memes to be sent in and etc. and see if that helps.

But if RPing with these people bring you more distress than joy it may be time to let them go and look for some new muns to RP with. RPing got much better for me after I decided that interacting with people like that wasn’t for me.

I hope that helped a bit! If you have more questions feel free to ask (just may take me a bit! to get to)

- Mod Mudkip

#Anonymous #answered #not a meme #long post #modpost

[jakeperalta]

I may have just had an epiphany or this may just be dumb but whenever I talk to my best friend, lately, she tells me why something is manipulative or guilt-trippy and I KNOW I never mean it this way but it makes me feel scared I'm a bad person without knowing and I constantly reconsider my words and motives, even when I look over what I said, I don't read it the way she sees it. Is it a possibly this is a form of her gaslighting or is it possible I'm that manipulative without knowing?

i mean i guess it depends partly on what it is she’s criticizing - like for example if a poc tells me something i, a white person, have said is racist then i have to believe them that i’m in the wrong (obviously not saying your a racist lol but like in terms of that kind of dynamic i guess) but if you genuinely don’t see what you’re doing wrong then and aren’t wanting to be manipulative at all and she’s repeatedly making you feel paranoid that you’re a bad person then it sounds like she could be being the manipulative one :/

#Anonymous #answered