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bi-great · 4 years

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I’ve read a lot of comments from fan who were disappointed by the ending, and who claimed that the writers and producers did not give a damn about Philindaisy or the SHIELD family in general.

On that note, I’d like to take a moment to analyze the finale. I would like to start with a picture from the pilot.

Here you have Daisy... I’m sorry, Skye... all alone in her van. You can’t see it from the picture, but I’m sure you remember the story. Her story.

At the beginning of the series, all she had about her family was a pendrive containing SHIELD documents with possible information about her parents. That’s why she agreed to join the team. Thanks to Coulson, she got to learn something about her family: the reason why no one ever kept her with them is because it was actually SHIELD protecting her. All that time she’d believed no one wanted her, but she actually had many people looking after her and making sure she was safe. That’s when she realized that she’d always had a family in SHIELD.

“We’re her family.”

Coulson’s words when the doctor told them Skye couldn’t be saved were heartbreaking, but they were also a changing point. From that moment on, they were no longer a team, they were a family, and they weren’t going to give up on Skye so easily. And they never have afterwards.

When Skye became an inhuman, the team’s reaction was pretty bad, but it was also human. They were afraid because they didn’t know how to help Skye control her powers, but also because they didn’t know how to protect her from the world. Their conduct might’ve not been the best, but they never gave up on her. Despite what Cal had told Skye, it didn’t matter if she was human or inhuman. Her found family loved her nonetheless. Even more than her birth one actually.

But that’s not all. When Daisy almost killed Mack under Hive’s influence, when she left the team bacause she felt guilty about Lincoln’s death, when they found out she was going to destroy the world in the future... they never gave up on her.

And that’s what’s beautiful about having a family: when you think you don’t deserve their love, they love you even harder.

But we all grow up, and we all move on. That’s part of life. Everyone moves out of their parents house at some point to build a life of their own. Growing up and moving on is the normal course of events, but it doesn’t erase where you come from. You can have a new family, a new home, you can go live on the other side of the planet, but your parents are still your parents, and your siblings are still your siblings.

And that takes us to this second picture, this time from the finale.

Yes, Daisy is indeed alone again, but it’s completely different. This moment perfectly embodies that point in life when you say goodbye to the family you come from to greet your new life.

Personally, I was very happy with the ending. I never wanted for Daisy to end up with May and Coulson. Don’t get me wrong, I do want them to be a family, and they are. But it would’ve been wrong for a grownup woman to live with her parents for the rest of her life.

When we first met Skye she was an orphan. Now she has a found family that’s always going to be there for her (even if they’re miles, or galaxies apart), but she also has the chance to build a family of her own. That’s why I think they did the character completely right with that ending.

P.S. as for Philinda, I love them with all my heart, but let’s be honest the ship was over the moment Coulson died. Let’s not forget that season 7 Coulson might’ve been more than just tech, but he was also not the OG Coulson May had fallen in love with. Just because they look alike, and they think/feels the same, it doesn’t mean they are the same person. To me, personally, it would’ve felt wrong had they ended up in a relationship.

#agents of shield #aos s7 #series finale #thoughts #skye #daisy johnson #phil coulson #melinda may #family #satisfied

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incarnateirony · 4 years

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The government only allows the person working to cross over for quarantine so at the earliest Mish won’t be in Van until tomorrow so he’ll only be able to be in like 2 days of 15.20. We know 19/20 are filming somewhat simultaneously and scene 46 (probably the last scene since most epis have around 42) was already filmed. I’m worried that even if he films part of 20 it’s minimal and not part of the grand finale. The possibility of Cas not getting his toes in the sand with his family just hurts.

What part of “you’re completely lacking the rest of the context of whether that’s a directly experienced story, a relayed story, a zoom call during wife driving story, or any other potential context of that second to the fact that we already know he’s been quarantining in a hotel for weeks” missed you?

I know you guys want really, really, REALLY bad to be upset and imagine worse case scenarios, but he’s /already been quarantining./

Stop.

Or at least stop spamming my inbox trying to get validation for the whackadoo because you’re not going to get it here. If you want to get reason and points where you’ve possibly missed discussion options, that’s fine. But if you’re going to double down, I say again: save my previous ask if you’re so certain, come back at me with I TOLD YOU SO if I’m wrong in like 4 months, but don’t clutter my inbox with some weird dedication to taking the worst possible read ever.

Even IF you're right with amount filmed while already there and "only two days" he could easily be in a third of the episode like most of his eps. Ffs, stop.

Which, by the way, you’re not. All you need to get to Canada is an eTA right now which the Collins could easily afford to do. It’s like 7 freaking bucks to apply and go through due process right now.

Travellers coming from outside the US who are exempt from the travel restrictions (list truncated to ones the Collins’ could fit within)

temporary foreign workers

any person who does not pose a significant harm to public health, in the opinion of the Chief Public Health Officer of Canada, and who will provide an essential service while in Canada

any person whose presence in Canada is in the national interest, in the opinion of the Minister of Immigration, Refugees and Citizenship; Minister of Public Safety and Emergency Preparedness; or Minister of Foreign Affairs

a person who is authorized, in writing, by a consular officer of the Government of Canada to enter Canada for the purpose of reuniting immediate family members

Who is an immediate family member

An immediate family member is defined as a

spouse or common-law partner

dependent child

dependent child of a dependent child

parent or step-parent

guardian or tutor

Public health measures for travellers to Canada

If you’re travelling by air, you need to

pass a health check conducted by airlines before you’ll be allowed to board your flight

wear a non-medical mask or face covering during travel (including to the place you’ll quarantine)

*jazz hands* I think you all forget that the WB is one of the most powerful companies in the world and all it takes is one plea to a Canadian official to let their families come along and that’s it, it’s done. Covid test before flight and still quarantine by agreement and it’s not hard.

When you arrive in Canada by air, land or sea, we’ll assess your health before you leave the POE. If you’re a foreign national, and you have symptoms of COVID-19, you won’t be allowed to enter Canada.

You must have a plan to quarantine for 14 days when you arrive in Canada, including

a place to stay

how you’ll

get to your destination

get your groceries

access essential services and medical care

This plan is mandatory, even if you have no symptoms. If you don’t have a plan, you should not travel to Canada. Otherwise, you may not be allowed to enter the country. A border services officer will determine if you can enter the country.

Seriously.

And again all of THIS is a huge aside on people not getting how powerful the WB is and how easy it would be to wiggle them in, which again *is not necessary* to approaching the matter because *we don’t even know if Misha was there for the story he retold or if he’s trolling the fuck out of you over something his wife just said the kids did while he was calling her*.

And again, even with THAT, there would be a total of 4 days total filming at anywhere from 4 to 12 shots per day based on your worst case scenario, so again, I really don’t know why someone is coming to basically lowkey argue through anon just to post sad stuff at me after I showed the many ways this is being blown out of proportion. I’ll say it again: save my posts, if I’m wrong and Misha just totally isn’t in the finale at all, come back in 4 months and Told You So’ed me. Otherwise, like. Seriously, stop insisting on posting negativity at people and doubling down at them when they clearly disagree with you, wtf?

This shit is ENDLESS guys, wave after wave, year after year, upset after upset, panic after panic, and somehow nobody ever catches a clue about it, and it starts all over again every season, every finale, sometimes every episode, and more bafflingly every tweet that people leap several football fields of conclusions in a single step over. Every time. *wHY*

The logic of “WHY DON’T THEY JUST SPOIL ALL THE ENDING STUFF FOR US RIGHT NOW WHILE WE GET SUPER LOUD ABOUT IT” is roughly tantamount to “WHY NOT JUST POST THE SCRIPTS FOR THE ENDING NOWWWWW” and I’m so very very tired of trying to be gentle and logical with everyone. I was gently logical last ask, but this doubling down, I’m not gonna just keep going “Yeah ok pls keep sending me stuff that’s arguing out the side of your mouth and spamming my ask box with things you know I clearly disagree with”

You have a right to feel feelings, hell, you have a right to be sad about ideas. But as much as “it just hurts to think XYZ”, I think there’s an absolute lack of consideration that people spraying their incessant dark takes at people in the middle of a pile of global crisises for the sheer dedication to said dark take is itself one emotional black hole for the people on the receiving end, even if they very confidently disagree with you, it’s e x h a u s t i n g

Imagine being stuck on a loop having ten thousand emo takes being thrown at you even if you have an answer to all of them, but once you answer them all, they loop back over again from different people, and all the people try to argue with you. Doesn’t matter how confident you are, you can and will be depleted of energy and give a damns by the end of it.

Add in that chunks of this fandom try to make it seem like a cardinal sin to post positively in your own space or want to maintain your space as a positive space, while going around and negging on other people’s shit, and calling it positivity policing if they literally don’t want people dropping flaming poo bags on their doorstep, and somehow this has been entirely normalized. Holy fuck I’m tired of this fandom and honestly couldn’t be gladder the show is ending.

If people wanna spend months hurting themselves with things that hurt to think about and feel that’s their prerogative, I can’t control that, but a simple point to ask is if it hurts to think it, why be so dedicated to staying on a specific interpretation that is far from the only viable one? So you... don’t get hurt in several months? So you spend several months choosing to hurt yourself and other people? Sounds self destructive, can’t relate.

So one last time: There is no recent image of Misha with his kids. Misha has posted a picture of his kid with a spatula with no proof it was him that took it. As recently as Aug 19th he was confirmed to be at “someone else’s place” than his own when Yang was talking about quarantine, has had that background for a few weeks (he had the same painting--or painting style, such as a persistently decorated building--behind him Aug 6 and 8 from a different angle), and even implied pre-GISH that he was going to be in vancouver at the end of GISH. His recent streaming is not his house environment, does not match recent images of where his kids last were, we don’t know if he was even there in person for the convo, and even if he was, he could get his kids there if he really needed to. The entire crew has been intentionally cryptic about his location for a damn good reason and that alone should tell you everything, but if it doesn’t, just save these goddamn asks and come back months later if I’m wrong, instead of wasting my time and energy.

So your options are:

Misha is in a large suite, or rotated suites, in a hotel with extremely stock decor across its rooms or

Misha is malevolently finding copies of mountain art and matching hotel furniture to move around pretending to be in quarantine and getting a politician to help him lie about being with someone else in a machiavellian plan just to fuck with everyone.

QUICK HE TWEETED A PIC OF HIS KID WITH ENTIRELY DIFFERENT BACKGROUND AND POSTED A NO CONTEXT TWEET ABOUT A KID BEING A KID IN THE CAR, SLAM THE BREAKS.

The quarantine info is just extra, because I’m like 99% sure the kids aren’t even there with him right now. And that he is in fact in Van. But just a little note about how people don’t consider the full spread of potential before going off.

The logical answer to all of this is simple:

Misha went into quarantine only about 2 days behind the other guys (who started aug 4thish), to attend either day 3 or 5 shooting for episode 20 shoots mixed into ep 19 shooting which is why his colors are recently visible on the tape ball THEY ZOOMED IN ON DURING THEIR SONG WHEN HE SAID HE WASN’T ON SET “today” (Aug 20th -- a day they were doing NO EPISODE 20 FILMING UNLIKE THE DAY BEFORE AND THE DAY AFTER), because he’s paid by episode and not by day/hour, and the three stars will be fitted to what costars need flown in for a scene or two; Misha is trolling the fuck out of everyone’s anxiety, either with the kids being legally entered to Canada (unlikely) or by just second hand relaying some silliness that happened while he was calling his wife over the phone bluetooth (likely), or something else in that wheelhouse (likely.) and will be in Van a few more weeks.

The least logical answer to all of this:

In direct conflict with other script leaks earlier this year, Misha came in just to die deadeded in episode 19 instead of 18, and instead his death is the feature in 19, and he’s already shot his scenes and been totally happy with it as a cas ending despite being thrown into the trash the way fans keep imagining because of a random tweet with no physical evidence for the conclusion they jumped to from the tweet, and went home before even episode 19 filming is done, because people want to envision the worst case scenario.

He wasn’t documented in Van/quarantine location until Aug 6. He couldn’t have attended shooting until day 3, by all odds. Like I said, he came a few days behind the others. Almost like, gee, he was aiming to be there for day 3 of filming or something.

if you really think they’re gonna fly Misha out early just to literally film, like, scene 46 of episode 20 or something too as the new argument--I really don’t know what to tell you beyond the fact you’re dedicated to being upset. Another logical read of this is, as one of the three stars that’s going to have a sizable impact on the final episode, he’s going to need to meet other guest stars that will have a few scenes between 19 and 20, so days 3 and 5 probably have someone like Billie or Bobby or some other character that needs to be in both in the related scenes so they only have to be on site for one day of filming instead of weeks as opposed to the core stars. Take note several of the 28PartWhatevers are on the multifilming days, for example. Do some detective work. Figure this out past initial kneejerk when you literally know the entire cast is fucking with you at this point.

Whoever’s in 15.19 28pt4 and 20 also needed to be around for a Misha shot for 15.20 shot 46 which will be hella close to the end. Bet your ass. Be that Billie or Mary or what, I don’t know. Hell, maybe they got JDM to show up for one final shot, we don’t fucking KNOW. Same for 15.19 28pt7 and 8, the fact 28pt4 was shot AGAIN, and possibly 23pt2 with possible overlaps of 15.20 11, 12, 43.

Coincidentally, day 3 only had like 4 shots while we do know Misha had availability at his quarantine spot from PST onward. Of course, that would make sense, if the 15.20 scene 46 shot being listed first on the board means they did it first and Misha was home before lunch. Hell, his hair was still Cas-styled on his time on with Yang, as opposed to “I kinda brushed my hair today”. Light scruff, check, but full beard, nope.

Read as: That would mean he was filming for late/final shots of 20, not 19.

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duchesschameleon · 4 years

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being alone vs. loneliness

summary: there's a difference between being alone and loneliness. seven months in Paris shows Emily how true that is.

AO3 link | word count: 1758

(a/n: this is pretty much a character study of Emily Prentiss after her "death" through when she first comes back to the BAU in season 7. it is my first Criminal Minds fanfic as well so I hope I did the character justice! unbeta'd but proofread by me)

It doesn’t bother her is the thing, being alone. Emily had grown up in a world, a family, where being on her own was not out of the ordinary. She can handle being alone.

But this is different. This is being completely alone and isolated from everyone in her life. This is Paris, with new identities and an assignment and an undeterminable amount of time before she sees a familiar face again. If she gets to see a familiar face again.

She clutches the mug in her hand, letting the warmth permeate her hands and hopefully her heart.

There’s being alone and then there’s this. Loneliness.

And loneliness is so much harder to handle. JJ had said that the team is looking for Doyle, that they’ll find him and bring him in somewhere he’ll never escape and Emily will get her life back. But Ian Doyle escaped a prison no one knew existed in North Korea. She knows there’s no prison on Earth he won’t find a way out of. This is her new reality, her new life. And that means no more BAU.

She inhales sharply, the ache in her chest growing and gnawing at her heart. No more being blown away by the sheer amount of knowledge Reid has, or throwing quips back and forth with Morgan. No more girls’ nights with JJ and Garcia, shopping and drinking coffee and reveling in the fact that they aren’t at work for once. No more joking with Rossi, begging him to cook for the team at least once. No more looking out for Hotch and making sure he gets home to Jack at a reasonable time. No more Aaron, no more working together and having each other’s backs and grabbing a late dinner because they both stayed at the office too long. No more invitations to his place for dinner because she doesn’t have human food in her apartment and he does need to get home to Jack. No more Sergio keeping her company and filling the empty spaces of her home.

She closes her eyes against the tears that have pooled up, letting a few fall before she wipes them away and steels herself against these emotions.

Wallowing will not help her establish a new life and new patterns here. She has an assignment, a file folder from JJ and a life to lead in Paris. She can mourn the loss of her team, her family, but she has a job to do as well. She can’t wallow in what she lost, not right now. Right now, she has to get ready to leave the apartment and get to work.

3 weeks later

Emily’s head snaps up, searches for her pinging phone. It’s a new one and she’s still adjusting to it, but sure enough, there’s a familiar notification on the screen. A smile tugs at her lips as she swipes open to the online scrabble app she’d found. It’s part of her routine, part of settling in. Playing a familiar game with someone who knows where. All she knows is “cheetobreath” just hit a double word score and Emily’s next move needs to be a good one.

It’s not everything and it doesn’t soothe the ache in her chest much but its something. It’s a start, a new thing to fill her time while she traipses around the city conducting surveillance and working on her new job.

It’s a chance to adjust to her new life. No, the newest part of her life. This is her life.

If Emily’s learned one thing, it’s that her life cannot be cut and defined in pieces. Nothing is that clear-cut. Her life with Interpol bled into her life with the BAU and now that life permeates her life here in Paris. Lauren Reynolds, Emily Prentiss, any of the identities handed over to her three weeks ago…they’re all the same person. Her feelings from each part of her life, each iteration of her, stay with her. She knows that. She can’t cut herself off from them completely so she’s learning to live with them.

To live with the grief of losing six friends. Seven, she reminds herself. Ashley was part of the team too, long enough to make an impression and for Emily to miss her. So she acknowledges those feelings, doesn’t simply shove them in a box to forget about and never speak of again. She might be a compartmentalization queen but that does her no favors if she lets the grief and loss fester instead of dealing with it.

So she builds new routines, finds her new normal. Online scrabble finds its way into that new normal.

And if she has a constant partner named “cheetobreath,” well, that won’t hurt anyone.

Seven months later

It’s the one phone call that could make Emily drop everything and run, no matter the consequences. It’s the one reason why she’d return to the states now, seven months after her “death,” when she knows Doyle isn’t dead. That even though he truly thinks her dead this time, she’d be willing to blow that cover. The best cover in the world and she would willing reveal the lie to him for this one thing.

Something happened to Declan.

The moment she received Tom’s call she was in motion, grabbing her go-bag and tote before heading out of the office, using the other phone she has to book her ticket, filling in information from one her aliases that has become second nature to her. Tom tells her he’s flying back as well, but that she’d probably beat him to DC.

Her mind races at that, thinking about how to best find Declan and putting together a plan for when she lands. He’ll be okay. Doyle won’t be able to find him. Even if she had blown Declan’s cover months ago when she was bleeding out in Boston, she knows that finding him, that getting to him will be impossible. Louise is the only person in the states who can get Doyle out of school right now.

And then she lands and there’s a message on her phone from a name she hasn’t seen in months.

From Hotch: Doyle’s in custody at the BAU. It’s time.

And so she shifts, getting into a cab and heading to Quantico. It’s time, after seven months, to reclaim the one thing Ian Doyle took from her.

Her life.

Seven months ago, Ian Doyle killed Emily Prentiss and the woman who landed in Paris with JJ has spent those seven months hiding from him, from the people she knew, and running. She knows that in reality, Doyle had taken her way of life and she was very much so just a changed woman but going back to the BAU feels like a step in reclaiming her life. Like its time to stop running and time to start living again.

As the cab races down the highway and heads to Quantico, Emily is hit with a multitude of emotions. She’s excited to see the team again, her family again, but she knows it will all be different. It has to be. She’d died. There was a funeral. JJ and Hotch told her about it when they visited her at Bethesda to let her know the plan.

She’d come back one day but for now it was safest for everyone to think that she was dead. It’s the best cover and the best way to keep her safe until they find Doyle.

The team thought they were looking for her killer, to avenge her death. And now in 20 minutes she would walk into the conference room alive and well and show them that the last seven months have been a lie and they’ve been hunting down a criminal who hurt her, not someone who’d killed her.

She takes a shaky breath, calming her nerves. There’s so much happening, and it seems like it’s filling the void in her chest, but she knows it’s only temporary. The team will react in different ways and most likely avoid her until they believe she’s really back and alive. It might feel like her loneliness is subsiding, that she can once again chose to be alone instead of forced into isolation, but she knows it’s an illusion.

The loneliness will continue.

A month later

The loneliness does continue. But it also is alleviated a bit by Hotch and JJ. The two who knew the truth and can more easily accept her back into the fold. She finds herself spending more time with Hotch as time passes and she settles back into her life in Quantico.

It’s not the same, it’s not her old life, but it is her life again. She is Emily Prentiss, member of the BAU. And that feels right. This is her life, not running around Paris with a folder full of identities.

And Aaron helps her make the transition. She starts coming over for dinner again, seeking out companionship after seven months of loneliness. It allows her to see Jack for herself and yes, he cries and needs it explained that just because Emily came back it doesn’t mean Haley will. That had been a rough night for all involved. Emily ended up staying the night, all three of them cuddled up on Aaron’s bed, needing the reminder that sometimes people do come home.

It breaks her heart and Emily tried to spread that reminder more around the team. She gives Rossi advice, listens to Spencer, and goes through a recertification for Morgan. She does what she can, to remind them that she came home and she is here.

Aaron calls her out on it and knows that the transition back to her life can’t be easy. So he’s there for her. He keeps inviting her over for dinner, makes it an open one. She can take him up on it anytime she wants, no pressure. She draws back a little, clearly exhausted from trying to be there for everyone on the team and overextending herself, but he’s still there to make sure she goes home at a reasonable hour and eats and takes care of Sergio.

It isn’t everything, she’s still lonely but its better. The ache that had seemed to permanently settle in her chest is starting to heal. Aaron’s a constant and JJ too, always having her over and making sure she’s okay.

Slowly but surely, Emily goes from being lonely to choosing when she wants to be alone. That distinction is back in her life.

#criminal minds #emily prentiss #bau #aaron hotchner #jennifer jareau #jj #ian doyle #my writing #fic stuff #it hurts a bit but i was really excited to write this sooooooo sorry?

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kabhi-haath-pakad-k-tu-mera · 4 years

Text

The Circle Of Life

A Harry Potter Fanfiction

Death doesn't seem so imposing when you know that you're dying--when you realised it a long time ago. Harry's journey as he deals with Cancer. Diary fic. Haphne. IWSC Season 1 Final entry. Hogwarts JP!

Written for the International Wizarding Schools Championship Season 1

Round: Finals!!!

Theme: Dittany which means healing, mentally, emotionally and physically and also injury (as you can't be healed if you're not injured). The theme is shown here as Harry trying his best to recover from cancer.

Year: Year 7

School: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. JP from Hogwarts!

Prompts: Potions (object) [additional]

Emerald (colour) [additional]

St. Mungo's (setting) [main]

Special Rule and Link: The special rule here is used by Showing 'birth' both Harry's own birthday, and his grandchild's birth. As for the link, In this fic the link is again Harry's birthday, as we're showing his feelings on his birthdays through different stages of his life, this being the last one. Mentions of infertility.

Word Count: 2190

***

14th January 2060

8:35 p.m.

Diary,

Death doesn't seem so imposing when you know that you're dying—when you realised it a long time ago. It's funny, really. We know we're all dying but rarely does it ever truly sink in. But in my case, I've had the pleasure of having realised this way back at the age of seventeen. I hadn't thought I'd get out of the Forbidden Forest alive again, especially if I were meant to die in the end, and so I had submitted to my sentence. I was as surprised as anyone at my continued living, I assure you, and with the amount of downright stupid things I've done in my lifetime—fighting Voldemort some five different times, riding thestrals, wandering into acromantula nests, and then contemplating becoming an auror before Daphne talked me out of it—I've already outlived my expectations, so I don't think it bothers me too much that death has come to claim me now.

Daphne and Hermione would both glare at me for saying that probably, and Sothis, Jacob, and Lily would frown. Acquiring blood cancer does not necessarily mean death, especially since it's a muggle disease, but at the age of 80, I have my doubts. Wizards might not be as affected by muggle ailments, but this is cancer. It's been nearly ten days since I've written to you, as you might have noticed, and that was because of the numerous tests they conducted and reconducted at St. Mungo's. I've had to quit teaching at Hogwarts because of this accursed illness. Those of my family who haven't had much exposure to the muggle world didn't realise just how serious cancer was, and they were rather unconcerned—it's a muggle disease, wizards always recover from muggle diseases—but Hermione knew exactly what it was, and how serious, and she passed this information to both Ron and Daphne—even when I begged her not to—who told others. So now, everyone is extra polite around me, and extra careful. I hate how everyone looks at me like I might shatter at any moment. Even Malfoy's started acting differently again, and it's just so frustrating!

I just want everyone to get back to normal.

Harry James Potter

***

8th February 2060

8:15 p.m.

Diary,

My health has gotten worse instead of better. Last week, I began coughing violently and realised that I was coughing blood. My body hurt. I also had a temperature and felt dizzy. Daphy took me to St. Mungo's as soon as she saw my pitiful state. I was kept there for a whole day while the healers ran tests and took samples. While the wizarding world doesn't use injections, their methods of extracting blood hurt just as much. The healers only let Daphy see me during around dinnertime after they thought me stable enough. Daphy was by my side the entire night after that, holding my hand, helping me eat, and then finally settling me down for the night. I hadn't seen her that tired in a long time, diary, and it was ... unsettling. I wonder if I'm being too selfish in not really caring if this cursed disease takes me down. Daphne would be shattered.

Hermione and Ron were there at the hospital before I woke up the next day, considerably late and still feeling pretty shitty. The two of them and Daphne were talking to a healer, and none of them had realised I was awake. I could only catch a few phrases of their conversation—flu, immune system, careful—but the grim expressions on their faces told me that whatever it was, it wasn't good. The healers sent me home with instructions to take some fifty odd potions every eight hours and to exercise regularly, but not so much that I overexert myself.

I was too tired the next three days to pick up a pen to write, let alone go for a walk. But yesterday, after Daphy and I got back from the walk she had coaxed me into going for, we came home to a pleasant surprise in the form of Lily and Sebastian. Lily has always been big on surprises, but the one she gave us yesterday was the best surprise I have gotten in a long time. They're expecting their first child in July! After a number of failed tries, Lily and Sebastian had both given up on trying to have children, but that right there was proof that miracles do happen. Daphne was so happy, she had tears in her eyes. So did I. For a moment there, I think all of us present in the room were a little misty-eyed. It took a little effort to digest that bit of news, happy as it was because our sweet little witch had grown so old so fast. Wasn't it just yesterday that I had first held her in my arms? She was finally going to be a mother now! I am happy as can be, of course, but I wonder if I'll be able to live long enough to see my grandchild in this life.

I really hope I do.

Harry James Potter

***

18th March 2060

8:00 p.m.

Diary,

I don't think I'd be able to stand a single more piteous look directed toward me, even if my situation is miserable. I feel tired all the time now, even though I've been taking all my potions on time and have done all the exercises that the healers had told me to do. My body still hurts sometimes, and I feel utterly useless. The healers in St. Mungo's still take samples of my blood to see if my condition is getting any better.

They don't say so to my face, but I'm only getting worse. It is clear by the looks they direct towards me, in how Ron and Hermione both always say goodbye to me at the end of the day as if it were their last goodbye, in how Daphne strokes my cheek at night when we're both in bed and tells me to stay strong for her. I wish they'd just tell me, so I don't have to go through everything pretending to be blissfully unaware.

Sothis and Jacob came to see me today. I hadn't seen them since my birthday last year. Sothis lives in America now with his family and practices as a curse breaker while Jacob has been wandering around the world with Lorcan Lovegood. They were upset when they'd been told of my cancer, of course, but today I truly saw how much my sickness really affected my family. If I had been my old self, I would not have wanted them to see me like this, but times have changed. At least I'm not in St. Mungo's because I wasn't able to fight a common cold.

I really do want to get better.

Harry James Potter

***

21st May 2060

8:40 p.m.

Diary,

Things have begun to look up for me now, and I feel I've gotten a little better for the past few weeks. I don't feel as tired anymore, and Daphy does not have to force me to get out of the house. Daphy could not be happier about this. I've begun working on a book to keep me occupied. This was Hermione's idea—to write a book on Defence Against the Dark Arts from my experience as a professor and what I learnt when I was still studying for it. That I have fought the supreme leader of the dark is an added bonus. I think the one single perk of being sick is that the children come to see me more often. The others came around too, recently—the Weasleys, Neville, Luna. It felt nice to see them all after so long, but it felt a little disconcerting that this might be the last time we saw each other. I suppose that was the reason they made the visit in the first place, to see me again while they still could.

In other news, I am in the news again. The Daily Prophet found out about my illness somehow, and it was all anyone talked about for the last week. Daphy and Hermione both blew up over the staff of St. Mungo's because no one else would ever leak any information to the Prophet of all people. Astoria, who works there, is having the board conduct an entire investigation to find the gossip.

Lily had her first contraction while she was here with us. It was a false alarm, the baby is due in the second week of August, but it felt strange and surreal. Everyone was excited though, Lily especially, even if she complained non-stop about her backache. Things are looking up, finally, and everyone, the healers included, think that I'm going to get better quite soon.

I hope I do.

Harry James Potter

5th July 2060

8:40 p.m.

Diary,

While my health had been stable enough for the past two months and was inching towards recovery, it has now gotten worse again. The healers think that I've been exposed to an infection which my body is not able to fight off. The incessant pain, the omnipresent tiredness have both returned with assorted bottles of potions that taste like sewer water.

I was kept at St. Mungo's for a week, and the healers were still reluctant to let me go home because apparently, my immune system has become so compromised that even the mildest of bacteria or virus could be the cause of my death. It wasn't until Hermione had reasoned with them that I was more likely to be exposed to pathogens—whatever those were—in a hospital than back home that they let me go. I've been told in no uncertain terms to take all my potions on time and to get plenty of rest. The worst part is that I am to avoid the outdoors completely, so no more walks or anything. Daphne looked defeated yet determined.

When they thought I wasn't listening, they also told Daphne and Hermione to keep the visitors to a minimum, so people coming to see me is also out of the question now, although Lily did come here the other day, so I guess the kids are allowed.

I had thought I was getting better, but now ... they don't say it to my face, but their pitiful expressions make it clear that my days now are numbered. I hope I get to see my youngest grandchild before I die, though. They aren't here yet, but I love them already.

Harry James Potter

***

31st July 2060

8:45 p.m.

Diary,

It's my birthday today, but so much has changed since last year. I was teaching at Hogwarts happily. People weren't scared of sneezing around me. I was cancer free. But most importantly, I didn't have a new grandson who looked exactly like me. His eyes are the same emerald green as mine, and he has a small tuft of jet-black hair, although I really hope he has better luck with it than I have had.

From what Daphy tells me, Lily had been visiting when her water broke. I don't know the exact details of what happened since I had been in St. Mungo's since the past week, but everyone panicked except Daphne, who had gone home for a while to shower and eat after leaving me in Hermione's care. She calmly called for a mediwitch from St. Mungo's and made preparations to transport Lily to the hospital for the delivery.

The baby was two weeks early, but still very healthy. He had curious green eyes, and the memory of how he looked at me with interest when I first held him is still fresh in my mind. I did finally get to meet my grandchild—Lily's first child—and I couldn't possibly be happier. If I were to die now, after I've seen my grandchild, I'd die happy. My princess had finally started a family of her own, and the baby looks just like me. He's a tiny and beautiful baby, and I am so proud. Lily and Sebastian are both beaming. They named him after me and Sebastian's father—Harry Alex Grahams.

I love him.

Harry James Potter

***

Daphne closed the diary shut on the morning of August the 2nd with tears rolling down her eyes. She put it beside her on the padded carpet she was sitting on and drew her knees closer to her. Harry had to go, leave, just as Lily's first child was born, just as he had turned 81. It was painfully sad. Lily had cried through the last night, and it had taken Daphne all she had in her to not join her in it and to comfort her instead. She took in a deep breath. Harry was right, though. The child was beautiful and looked painfully like him. At least she knew that he had died painlessly in his sleep. Happy. Content. His suffering had ended, and he had had the joy of holding his grandson in his arms. He had been happy. That was all that mattered.

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tomeandflickcorner · 4 years

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Umbrella Academy Rewatch 1x01

With the second season of Umbrella Academy approaching, I figured I should have a rewatch of the first season again.

Of course, we start at the beginning, with us being told that on October 1st, 1989, 43 completely unrelated women around the world miraculously gave birth at the same time. This event was particularly unusual since none of these women had been pregnant when they’d woken up that morning. We’re also told that Reginald Hargreeves, an eccentric billionaire and adventurer had attempted to adopt as many of these miracle babies as possible, even going so far as to approach the mothers directly and paying them to allow him to take their baby. away. In the end, he managed to obtain seven of these unusual babies and brought them to his estate. As it turned out, each of these seven babies had seemingly been born with a unique superhuman ability. Luther (AKA Number 1) possessed super strength. Diego (AKA Number 2) could control the trajectory of any object he throws, with his preference being knives. Allison (AKA Number 3) can manipulate people’s actions simply by saying the words ‘I heard a rumor.’ Whatever she says after those words will actually happen. Klaus (AKA Number 4) is basically the kid from The Sixth Sense. Number 5 (who never received an actual name for reasons that I’ll explain a little later, can teleport/time jump. Ben (AKA Number 6) can essentially summon Lovecraftian horrors from his body. And finally, there’s Vanya (AKA Number 7). She allegedly doesn’t have any special abilities, so she was always left out when Reginald meticulously trained the others to be some sort of elite superhero team in the vein of X-Men, with the building they all lived in being treated like a school called The Umbrella Academy.

Of course, the main story actually begins years later, when the Hargreeves Siblings have all grown up. And grown apart as well, as each of the siblings have, for the most part, put their old lives behind them and have therefore become estranged from one another. In an opening montage, we’re introduced to the now-adult Hargreeves Siblings. Luther, for reasons that are revealed later on in the show, has spent the past four years on the moon. Diego has become a vigilante. Allison is now a big movie star with a legion of fans. Klaus is a drug addict, and is pretty much in and out of rehab. And Vanya is a violinist who hopes to make it into a major orchestra. As you might have noticed, there are two of the Hargreeves Siblings that haven’t been accounted for. As the episode explains as it progresses, Number 5 mysteriously disappeared 17 years prior, and hasn’t been seen or heard from since. And Ben has died for reasons that are as of yet unknown.

As the opening montage wraps up, Luther, Diego, Allison, Klaus and Vanya all learn that Reginald Hargreeves has suddenly passed away. So they all return to his old estate to attend his funeral. Though, upon arriving, it’s made very clear that Diego is not the least bit pleased to see Vanya. It turns out that, at some point, Vanya wrote an autobiography about her life growing up as the odd one out among the others. And she apparently revealed some of the Hargreeves family’s deepest, darkest secrets within her autobiography. So this has pretty much further ostracized Vanya from hier siblings, particularly Diego. Though Allison seems to be willing to look past that in light of the current situation.

Anyway, the next few minutes of the episode allows us to get to know our main characters, and how they interact with one another. Diego, as we’ve established, isn’t very pleased to see Vanya, which does’t help with how she already felt like an outsider amongst her siblings. And Luther also seems mistrustful of Klaus, though this wasn’t entirely undeserved, as he stopped Klaus from trying to pocket some of Reginad’s old trinkets. Off hand, only Allison seems somewhat normal, as she responds with reasonable softness to each of her long-lost siblings. However, it seems even she has some sort of baggage, as she admits her husband filed for divorce 8 months ago, and her now-ex-husband has full custody of their daughter, something that clearly upsets her a great deal. During this whole sequence of events, we also meet Grace. who was, for all intents and purposes, the Hargreeves Siblings’ mother, and Pogo, the family butler who is, to put it bluntly, an anthropomorphic chimpanzee. (Just roll with it.)

As the episode progresses, Luther makes it clear that, despite the autopsy report stating Reginald died of a heart attack, he suspects foul play was involved somehow. He points out that Reginald’s signature monocle was missing, and he and suspects that somebody took it. And if somebody took the monocle, it meant that Reginald hadn’t been alone when he died. Of course, Luther’s attempts at sharing this theory with his brothers and sisters goes poorly when he clumsily makes it sound as if he suspects one of them might have murdered Reginald.

In spite of the tangible rift between them, we do get a small indication that there’s still a deep-rooted bond between the siblings when Luther plays a vinyl recording of Tommy James and the Shondells’ I Think We’re Alone Now. Even though the five siblings are all in different rooms, they all are shown dancing to the same song. It’s a particularly enjoyable scene, particularly when the camera pans out to what I call ‘the dollhouse shot.’

However, the dance party is interrupted by a sudden disturbance out in the courtyard. When the five siblings run outside to investigate, Luther surmises it’s some sort of temporal anomaly. (Lucky guess!) As they watch in confusion and bemusement, a figure emerges from the time portal. To everyone’s amazement, the figure is revealed to be Number 5, who hasn’t seemed to age a day since the morning he vanished 17 years ago.

The Hargreeves Siblings convene down to the kitchen, where Number 5 fixes himself a snack. As he proceeds to make himself a sandwich (peanut butter and marshmallow), Number 5 explains his prolonged absence happened because he went against Reginald’s instructions and attempted to travel through time, resulting in him getting stuck in the future. And, while it’s been 17 years since his disappearance for the other Hargrees Siblings, it’s been 45 years for him. But he managed to finally find a way to return to the present day through some technobabble explanation. But for whatever reason, while his consciousness remains that of a 58 year old man, his body has regressed to that of his 13-year-old self. Although, he doesn’t really explain anymore than that and simply walks off, leaving his brothers and sisters to take it all in.

Of course, it then cuts to the funeral service, with everyone gathered out in the courtyard to pay their last respects to Reginald. But of course, drama erupts when Diego begins an emotional rant about how Reginald was a horrible man and father. Which wasn’t entirely off the mark, as we see through flashbacks that he might have also conducted experiments on the Hargraves Siblings. Here, it’s also revealed that Reginald never gave any of them their names and had simply referred to them by their individual numbers. It was their mother, Grace, who had given them their actually names. (Which does explain why Number 5 doesn’t have a real name like the others. He must have vanished to the future before Grace began issuing names) This ultimately leads to a fist fight breaking out between Diego and Luther. In the ensuing fight, the statue that had been erected in the late Ben’s memory is broken, and Diego ends up throwing one of his knives at Luther, leaving a bleeding gash in his arm.

So, things are clearly still strained between the Hargraves Siblings, who all soon part. Vanya is the first to leave, with only Pogo seeing her off. Diego heads off soon afterwards (with Klaus tagging along). Number 5, however, retreats to a local doughnut shop called Griddy's Donuts, hoping to get a decent cup of coffee. But before he can begin his drink, he notices a group of men armed with guns entering the shop. Number 5 doesn’t seem to be the least bit surprised by this, simply remarking he thought it would take them longer to find him. The leader of the armed men instructs Number 5 to come with them. But Number 5 chooses to not cooperate. And he proceeds to utilize his teleportation skills to meticulously kill every single one of the gunmen, as Istanbul (not Constantinople) by They Might Be Giants plays over the scene. Once all the men are dead, he calmly cuts into his arm with a discarded knife, putting out what appears to be a tracking chip. With the tracking chip removed, he calmly walks out of Griddy’s Donuts, as the poor waitress (whose name will be revealed to be Agnes in later episodes) peers over the counter at the remaining mess and dead bodies, completely shell shocked.

As the first episode wraps up, we see Diego has Reginald's missing monocle, though it’s not clear at this point how or why he has it. We also get our first glimpse of Ben, the deceased member of the Hargraves Siblings. Even though he is dead, he is present in the show as a ghost. Though only Klaus can see and hear him on account of his ‘superpower.’ As for Vanya, she returns to her apartment, where she is shocked to find Number 5 has broken in. Vanya is quick to spot he’s bleeding (on account of his self-inlicted cut), but Number 5 virtually waves away her concern. He tells her that he’s decided to share some vital information with her, since he feels she’s the only one he can trust. Throughout the episode, it was implied that Vanya and Number 5 had been rather close as kids. For instance, after Number 5 had vanished, Vanya had made a habit of leaving out peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches for him every night, because she didn’t want him to go hungry if he ever returned. As such, Number 5 tells Vanya that, when he jumped ahead in time, he learned that something catastrophic will happen in the future that will effectively wipe out the entire human race. While he wasn’t sure what exactly caused the apocalypse to happen, he was able to determine the date it occurred- exactly eight days from the present date. Vanya takes this bombshell surprisingly well.

Well, that’s quite an opening episode. We got a group of siblings with a strained relationship, a suitable mystery on our hands and a fast-approaching end of the world. Not to mention the whole weirdness the show just expects us to accept with no actual explanation. All in all, this episode does effectively rope you in, leaving you with a bunch of questions that you want to see answered.

Additional things of note:

Grace is revealed to be a robot. Which explains how she sometimes seems to be out of it at certain points in the episode

Vanya is taking what appears to be a prescription medication

The exploits of the Hargraves Siblings as a superhero team led to them having a certain level of fame. There were even comic books made about them in the show’s reality.

Even though Luther made him drop Reginald’s trinkets, Klaus still managed to make off with an ornate box with currently unknown contents

#umbrella acedmy #umbrella academy 1x01

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postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 5 years

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About the Musca, Cas, Dean and (queer) sexuality in 14x06

There are many little callbacks to season 7 in the episode, from Harper’s deception that reminds of Jeffrey with his demon to the very slogan ‘reading is fundamental’ inside the library, and I am pretty sure that the very specific choice of black goo as the characterizing trait of the Musca is supposed to remind us of the other famous black goo monster we’ve met in the show, the Leviathan. In an episode where we are subtly reminded that the Charlie from the apocalypse world never had to deal with Leviathans, because the Castiel there never opened Purgatory and Richard Roman was never possessed by anything... she and Sam have to deal with a different black goo monster. (Slightly out of topic, but also interesting how Sam was ‘well and truly alone’ at the end of season 7 and now he praises the benefits of being among others to Charlie.)

But the Musca doesn’t really have much in common with the Leviathan, when we consider the monsters themselves. A human-fly hybrid who tends to stick inside hidden communities except for the occasional bad egg... shapeshifting cannibalistic monster divided in multiple bodies... we have to widen the scope of our perspective to see what kind of parallel hides here.

The Leviathan were (was?) a mirror for both Dean and Cas. This is not the place to digress in this direction, but the split-in-conflicting-parts, shapeshifting, self-devouring creature represented Dean’s issues with identity and mental health, and Cas was counterposed to Dick Roman in multiple ways. The Leviathan can be even seen as an allegory for their relationship - they get out of Purgatory as Dean and Cas’ relationship shatters, they get defeated by Dean and Cas working together as they reconcile.

What about the Musca?

A creature ‘hybrid between a man and a fly’ who has left his community just reminds me of Cas, who for all intents and purposes is currently a hybrid between a man and a fly angel, and has left heaven. But of course, the similarities just highlight the differences. Cas didn’t leave heaven because he couldn’t find a mate, but rather... because he has found one, but, unlike for the Muscae, that’s not what he was supposed to do.

“When a male fails to find a mate, he abandons his community and starts using people's bodies to nest” - in Cas’ case, he’s used a person’s body because that’s how angels function. Muscae are not supposed to behave like that, but are supposed to stay among themselves, mate within the community, and mind their own business. Angels instead are ordered to go on earth to perform tasks on behalf of heaven: that’s why Cas had to possess Jimmy in season 4, or the lady in 1901. Angels pick vessels because heaven sends them on earth to interfere with humans’ business.

The way Charlie and Sam speak about Muscae is reminiscent of how Dean and Sam and Bobby spoke about angels in 4x02. They appeared in books, but supposedly no one had seen an angel in a very long time... Charlie and Sam also doubt that Muscae exist because supposedly no one has ever seen them, but it becomes clear that someone must have seen them, otherwise where would the information in the book come from? We learn the same about angels - Dean might not believe they exist, but plenty of people have seen them before or interacted with angelic things in some way...

So the Musca is an anti-Cas of sorts. This Musca left a community that cared about him, even though he’d abandoned them, and lived in isolation and squalor, just “pining” (hello, little scented trees) for companionship. Cas has left a community that didn’t care about him as a person, and has chosen a loving family instead. He’s been doing his fair share of pining, of course, but in a completely different context.

His angelic ‘family’ cared about him when he acted like ‘an angel’s angel’, and shunned him when he started acting more human-like... which was his real personality all along, but he simply had not had the opportunity to explore that part of himself. This journey been coded as a coming out/transition of sorts, and Cas’ human family as the found family that welcomed Cas while his ‘biological’ family would not accept his truth regarding his identity and relationship choices.

Sort of like the Musca, he could not find companionship within his original community, but unlike the Musca he found genuine companionship outside of it. He’s been pining, it’s not been perfect and it still not is, but he has found love, not death and squalor. From the perspective of a ‘regular’ angel, though, living among ‘mud monkeys’ is not really that different from the Musca living in filth and dead people. But Cas knows better.

What about Dean? Now, keep reading if you’re not the kind of person who dismiss interpretations of a text as a ‘stretch’, when in fact text means fabric and a fabric that doesn’t stretch tears, so a good text is a text that can be stretched in multiple directions.

Also warning for mention of gross homophobic stereotypes and the Aids crisis.

The Musca’s isolation is textually linked to sexuality. He can’t find a mate, so he abandons the community. He lives in squalor and dirt, surrounded by corpses. Things have changed a bit lately, but if you go back not too many years this is the picture that a homophobe would paint of homosexuality/queerness. A man who won’t marry a woman (non-monogamous bisexual men or men who can be in relationships with women but not in a heteronormative, ‘proper’ manner also count) and becomes isolated from his community as a result (of course, for homophobes the only ‘real’ community is their own heteronormative society, as they don’t believe queer bonds are real or positive) and chooses a lifestyle of loneliness, filth and death, which is something I’m having a hard time even typing but homophobia’ll be like that.

In support of this kind of interpretation we have the other subplot of the episode. In the Harper-Vince-Jack storyline, there is a theme of ability/inability to create a family. That’s the card Jack tries to play in order to change Harper’s mind about having Vince kill him - that she’ll never be able to have a family with Vince: “what would it be like to be with someone alive? Who could walk you down the aisle in front of the whole town? And start a family with?”.

Interestingly, he also talks of a love that can be lived openly and publicly, which has all sorts of subtextual implications. Homophobic ideas of same-sex relationships are exactly those - you cannot have a normal marriage in front of the whole town, you cannot start an actual family. ‘But you won’t be able to get married and have children’ is a typical homophobic response to someone coming out - especially from parents who want their kid to give them grandchildren. Of course those are bullshit because hiddenness isn’t inherent to queer relationships/identities, but is due to the threat of homophobic violence (physical, emotional, economical...) and plenty of same-sex couples would get married and have/adopt children if there weren’t laws that forbade them to.

A lot of parents also act grief-stricken when their child comes out to them because they’re genuinely convinced that being queer automatically means a life of suffering and loneliness (and don’t get me wrong, in many places and situations being queer not a walk in the park, but it’s not an automatic sentence to pain and desolation).

Basically, the life of the Musca after leaving his community is pretty much what homophobes think of life and relationship as a queer person (especially a queer man or a queer amab person). A “bad egg” (a bad egg is an egg that has no use for either reproduction or nourishment) that leaves his community to pursue a lonely lifestyle inextricably linked to death.

But what about Dean? Let’s jump back to season 1.

This post is already pretty long so I’m not going to delve into detail here, so let’s just get to the point: the show establishes in the first couple of seasons that Sam feels like a freak because of his own direct connection to the supernatural. He doesn’t feel like he fits among ‘normal people’ because of his personal and family history. Dean, on the other hand, feels like a freak who cannot fit among ‘normal people’ because... he embraces the lifestyle his father has put them on, because he can’t stand the idea of losing his father’s approval because without his father approval he’d be alone, because people always leave him, because... you know the drill.

Unlike Sam who tries to fit with the normal people, Dean rejects entirely the idea. He knows he’s not normal and won’t ever belong in a suburb. He seems to embrace the hunting lifestyle, no connections, just fun hookups with no strings attached... Obviously we find out pretty soon that Dean craves for connections, that he clings to the concept of being a ‘good son’ because he fears that everyone leaves him, so he tries his best not to be abandoned by his father. He is haunted by the idea of being abandoned by everyone until he remains alone. And he clings to family because he’s convinced that he cannot really have anyone else other than blood family, because who would want him?

And over the course of the show, he finds people. He loses many, but he keeps collecting new family members - not tied to him by blood, but found family. He learns that family doesn’t end in blood, and then he also learns that it doesn’t start there either. He redefines family. If people didn’t keep dying, he would have pretty much a commune by now.

He’s not arrived to the culmination of this journey yet (I’m assuming there’s a culmination of a journey because this is storytelling and it’s not random and intricate as real life is) but he is nowhere near that young man who clings to sticking to the ideal conduct his father expects from him because he thinks that if he loses his blood family he’s lost it all, who is terrified of loneliness and deep down suffers how he’ll never be able to settle down with a respectable wife in a nice little house.

He used to think that he couldn’t have love because love was for people who could get married and have children and a dog and a white picket fence. Now he acknowledges that love comes in all shapes and forms and can be ‘crazier’ than something already pretty weird. He has realized that family can be found outside of blood relations, and that blood relations alone don’t make family; and he has realized that love exists in many forms, including weird, crazy forms. He can have family and he can have love even if he doesn’t fit into certain schemes.

I’m not sure I’ve made justice to the topic with this post but I guess it’s long enough for now, I’ll end it here :)

#my spn thoughts #spn meta #spn 14x06 #dean and queerness #cas and identity #cas and the angels #spn

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