#and the fact that I can actually jam out to it in game? genius.

[leam1983]

So, you wanna play the Wizard Game...

Let's start with a point of comparison.

When I was a kid, in the halcyon age of the Nineties, Earthworm Jim 1 and 2 were my jam on the SNES. I loved the associated cartoon, and basically owed my exposure to absurdist humor to concepts like the Great Cosmic Worm or the launching of cows into the stratosphere using a crude fulcrum. To me, EWJ was zany, lively, more than content to wag its Vaudevillan villains around for non-crucial bits of mundane evilness that went as far as being rude to the postman - and mostly innocent.

Then, time passed, I grew up, and came to learn of Doug TenNapel, the creator of the IP - and of his views.

Doug TenNapel is a Conservative who mealy-mouths his way around bigotry and antisemitism, more or less the type to Tommy Tallarico his way out of a situation by waving the "Lookit, I'm zany!" card as if we were still effectively in 1995. He tried for a comeback with a Webcomic entitled Ratfist, back in 2010, but his views more or less blew up in his face. Ratfist was unceremoniously concluded and TenNapel effectively faded from public consciousness.

I spent a few weeks wondering how I felt about this. I still had some fondness for EWJ and for ancillary projects that bore a bit of that TenNapel touch (like Shiny Entertainment's MDK), and it took me a while to remember that no, some literary analysis devices that I've been taught to use in the field are not, in fact, a form of tacit approval of the author's views.

Fast-forward to today, and I'm seeing a world where you cannot extricate a work from its author, where someone having a stroke of genius one particular decade ago and then turning into a raging shithole several years later apparently disqualifies everything they've put up in the past from any sort of consideration.

Now, my girlfriend had a sideline in Art History. Whenever she's confronted with Purity Culture as a concept, she remembers Caravaggio's works. The guy is a giant in the field of later Renaissance art, both for his talent and for his personality.

You see, Caravaggio fucked. He was a serial philanderer, he got into fights over women, cultivated a long list of lovers both male and female - and of open convictions. He also recruited a prostitute off the street and hired her to pose for him - as the Virgin Mary. Imagine picking a lady-of-the-road right across from the church that's just commissioned you, and recognizing that with the right light and medium, her face had those exactingly precise characteristics the elite looked for in their depictions of religious figures. For his time, he was as controversial as you could imagine. By today's standards, he'd probably have a massive following on Tumblr, if he were both alive and had a blog of his own. I don't think it'd be much of a stretch to imagine him as an ally, actually.

Despite that, no Art History student will ever look at his works in the context of who Caravaggio was. They'll look at his works in the context of when and where they were made. There's a massive difference there. In my own studies, I've done the same for everyone between Zola to Steinbeck, and I've definitely given Joanne Katherine Rowling's flagship series more of a critical eye.

Just - not in the way I'd assume most people would appreciate, these days. The Potterverse, if you will, is one that's effectively designed to be formative for younger readers, and one that quite visibly predates the author's drift towards reactionary politics. You can spot weak shades of it in some places, like Dumbledore's tokenistic referral as a gay man, but the series actually strives for inclusiveness. As to why trans characters never came into play, I'd chalk it up to ignorance and lack of comfort. I'm only a cis and bi man, and it took me years of study and careful attention to work past my own fears and workshop a trans character that wouldn't be - hopefully - much of an offense to anyone. Rowling herself simply never had that chance, or never took it once it was offered.

Obviously, she won't take it now even if it's offered. Her later works are disturbingly facile, in the sense that most skilled authors tend to use their external voice to provide mere observations and not to unsubtly pass judgement - an aspect in which she now repeatedly fails. Her posture can still be extricated from what she's written under the name of Robert Galbraith, but it has the relative finesse of a Ben Shapiro wish-fulfillment fantasy. Considering, I find it quite easy to draw a line between the Potter Era and the Post-Potter Era. There's a bitterness at play in her later works that just isn't present in what actually serves as her juvenilia, effectively.

There's a young and hopeful JKR drawing sketches in a café, and then there's the frustrated and bitter woman pulling increasingly desperate pleas for relevance. The lines couldn't possibly be any clearer.

So - let's assume you've effectively killed Rowling in the sense used by Narratology theorists and removed her from any consideration in her works. Can you play Hogwarts Legacy knowing that a small, if not insignificant portion of its royalties are going to go to Rowling's pockets?

Yes. How, you might ask?

Pirate it. If the Wizarding World still matters to you, pirate the fuck out of this one. Rip her books and upload raw PDFs to your Kindle. Considering the game's dev history, I'm sure plenty of employees in Avalanche itself would give you their blessing.

The Death of the Author absolutely does apply - especially in a situation where means exist to obtain the media involved at no cost whatsoever beyond your own bandwidth.

#hogwarts legacy #on buying the game #on not buying the game #on support vs piracy #pirate this thing kiddos

[cookierunconfessionblog]

Trigger warning.

Rant.

Ship discourse.

Harassment.

Rude words screenshots.

Long.

(Strawberry crepe cookie use they/it.

strawberry cookie use she/her.

Please use these pronouns for both character when refer it to, thank you)

I need to get this off my chest

Some of yall cookie run fans are toxic enough to bully some minors just because they ship strawcrepe/crepeberry/crepestraw ( strawberry crepe cookie x strawberry cookie) and lead them having bad mental health in 2021-2022!.

Some user's that are leaving the mean commemts on the creator censored to prevent harassment along with video creator censored. And some comment get white spray due to it unrelated being Rude. And also most Rude comments arent show due Tumblr photo limitsm

Listen strawberry crepe cookie & strawberry cookie are kids and had no Canon ages confirmed, yall cak headcanon both of them as siblings or Cousin, family and uad fun but do not force it.

Did you see both strawberry cookie & strawberry crepe cookie on the siblings National days? No.

Why? That because strawberry crepe cookie is not siblings or even family to strawberry cookie. Well because strawberry cookie had a artificial Syrup strawberry flavor so it not an actual strawberry taste flavor. While strawberry crepe cookie had a real strawberries ingredient flavor in them.

Here proof=

Game description=

[Strawberry crepe cookie]: "Sweet strawberry cream, crispy waffles, and chubby fresh strawberries—is there a cuter combination? Meet Strawberry Crepe Cookie with an unyielding sparkle of curiosity in their eyes. And this curiosity is a force to be reckoned with: Strawberry Crepe Cookie will stop at nothing to find an answer to every question! Having grown up with Wafflebots, this Cookie preferred tinkering with robotic parts to playing with toys. This little genius's cute waffle headset is a tiny engineering marvel on its own. But don't touch it! Or you risk witnessing a change from the cute Strawberry Crepe Cookie to the furious one."

{Strawberry cookie}: "Shyness can be quite advantageous. Why? Strawberry Cookie contains no real strawberries, only the flavoring. Were she as active and energetic as other Cookies, her artificial strawberry fragrance would have worn off in no time! Strawberry Cookie feels so ashamed of her main ingredient, she'd never want the truth to come out. If only she understood that this yummy strawberry scent is one of the many reasons other Cookies love her!."

Strawberry as an ingredient is often associated with Darkness in the Cookie Run franchise, as seen with Dark Choco Cookie Dark Choco Cookie's Strawberry Jam Sword and Strawberry Crepe Cookie Strawberry Crepe Cookie themself. It's possible that this rule doesn't apply to Strawberry Cookie because her strawberry flavoring is specifically artificial and she is not made from real strawberries.

According to Strawberry Crepe Cookie Strawberry Crepe Cookie's analysis, Strawberry Cookie is comprised of "13% concentrated strawberry syrup, 7% sugar, adding sweetness and adorableness, pink food dye", and other unknown ingredients.

Another thing i want to add is that it fine that you can headcanon them as families or siblings or cousins and have fun all you want but don't force it upon others. I can understand that you may you comfortable with the ship since strawberry cookie kidnap strawberry crepe cookie, that fine but do not forced it upon. Have a good day. Thank your for reading it all.

(and also sorry for a very long essay paragraph & yappin, ramblings, my apologies <3. My foods this took me long and effort to type.) And also my apologies if my grammar or words seem weird or odd to even understand and also the fact that English isnt my first language. But feel free to ask tho and also my apologies if it sound Rude.

(also sorry mods if it inappropriate)

ㅤ

#tw harassment #tw rant #tw harsh #tw harsh words #cookie run #crk #cookie run kingdom #cookie run fandom #cookierun #crk fandom #cookie run community #cookie run confessions #cookie run kingdom fandom #cookierunkingdom #crepeberry #berryberry #berrycrepe #strawcrepe #strawberry crepe crk #strawberry crepe cookie #strawberry cookie #strawberry crk #thislittledipshitthing #ship discourse #cookie run shipping #crk ship #cr kingdom #strawberry crepe cookie x strawberry cookie #strawberry cookie x strawberry crepe cookie #confession

[davyjoneslockr]

fugo w/ 7, 17, 31, 37, 38?

(For this ask game)

7: Travel

Since his family was rich, he did a lot of traveling as a kid. Mostly around Europe, but internationally, too. He's probably been to every continent, barring Antarctica, at least once. He didn't really get to experience much on these trips, though. Sure, he'd be in these places, but the trips were never so much for sightseeing as they were for his parents' business opportunities, going to really fancy places as a status symbol, and probably some networking for him, as his parents were very keen on "maximizing his potential" as a young genius and showing him off to fellow rich folk or higher-ups in academia. If anything, traveling was an isolating experience for him. There was never any warmth in the Fugo family, and the one person he truly loved and could've enjoyed having new experiences with, his grandmother, was never included.

So, as he gets older, he finds that he really enjoys trips that aren't so rigid. He likes having things planned in advance, certainly, but instead of seeing huge cities and staying in luxury resorts, he'd much rather go to small towns or rural areas, eat at local restaurants, buy little trinkets that his family would've ridiculed, and just. Have the opportunity to slow down and enjoy things. He couldn't give a single shit about seeing Paris or Tokyo or New York City, but if he's able to go on a road trip through the countryside and stop at a little farmer's market for some homemade jam, he'll be ecstatic.

17: Scars

His hands and wrists are heavily scarred from scratching at them - a bad, self-destructive habit the others have tried to get him out of, to no avail. He’s also got a lot of scarring on his face, shoulders, and back from acne. By the time he gets the scars on his cheeks/throat at the end of PHF, he’s too used to having scars to outwardly angst about them much. He claims he’s “never had a nice face, anyhow,” and is at least thankful he has an intact jaw after that.

Internally, though, he’s conflicted. He has some serious issues with self-worth, and, body image-wise, views himself as somewhat ugly at best, if not completely repulsive. The scars, at first, do not help.

Eventually, though, he starts working to reframe his mindset. The scars are proof that he’s bettering himself - while he may not be able to undo the damage he’s caused, there are things he can still fix. He isn’t as selfish, cowardly, or mean as he used to be. He’s starting to understand other people, and understand himself. The scars he sees when he looks in the mirror are proof.

Also, if I can plug the Fugio agenda for a moment. Most of his mental restructuring is done on his own, but it certainly helps to know that Giorno’s never been judgmental about his scars. Quite the opposite, in fact. Giorno kisses the PHF scars constantly, and likes tracing the acne spots on Fugo’s back (he always says cheesy stuff about them, like “they’re like little stars” or whatever. Fugo thinks it’s bullshit, but doesn’t complain).

31: Death

Despite his stand’s motif, he is deeply terrified of dying. Deep down, it was one of the main reasons he stayed behind. He finds comfort in understanding things, and knowing that he can understand anything in life, potentially. Even though he’s staunchly atheist, the fact that he can’t possibly understand or comprehend death scares him. Purple Haze’s, or his, ability to end lives so quickly and effortlessly, in a way, makes him scared of himself.

37: Vengeance

I like to think that he does see his family again, when he’s an adult. Not to reconcile, though. His father, or maybe one of his brothers, somehow gets tangled up in mafia business, and they arrange a meeting to ask Giorno for protection or money. Giorno’s ready to dismiss the offer, but Fugo asks to go with him, with his face obscured, to see if they’ve actually changed.

As it turns out, they haven’t. They’re still as pretentious and elitist as he remembers, walking over everyone who doesn’t meet their standards - of class, of wealth, of behavior. Giorno asks if they have another child, and they claim they don’t - Pannacotta has more or less been eliminated from the Fugo family tree, reduced to no more than a whisper at dinner parties, a rumor among the upper crust. He’s completely dead to them, and, perhaps, after kicking him to the streets without so much as a goodbye, they assumed he would be literally.

Giorno, of course, rejects their request. And, as a final blow, Fugo reveals himself. Flashes his and Giorno’s matching rings in his father’s face, sits with his feet up on the expensive coffee table, and describes, in detail, what’s happened to him since he was last at this mansion. It’s dramatic, and it’s not a huge act of revenge, in the grand scheme of things. But it’s cathartic to imagine his family living with the fact that their son’s a criminal, right at the top in Passione’s ranks, and the shitstorm that would ensue, should he choose to leak the information to the public. And, of course, knowing that he has a real family by his side - more of a real family than they would ever be.

38: Sympathy

If there is one opponent he comes to regret killing, it’s Angelica. While she may have been working for the narcotics team, she was really no different than him, or any of his friends - she was just a kid driven to extremes, and was only able to find solace among criminals. Most of what he learns about her, he learns after her death, and there’s times where he spirals, thinking about what he could have done differently, had he known what he does now. Could they have convinced her to leave the narcotics team? Gotten her treatment for her addiction? Used Gold Experience Requiem to help with her illness, somehow? What hurts most is that parts of her remind him of Narancia, and, occasionally, he wonders if they could’ve even been friends. 

At the end of the day, he tells himself she was too far gone, and any thoughts of helping her are just ridiculous fantasies. Still, he hasn’t been able to fully convince himself.

#whoo sorry this took so long. i'm starting to work on all these so don't worry. they'll all get answered #also the fourth one may or may not be a fic idea i've considered writing before. idk if i will but. yeah #jjba #purple haze feedback #jjba headcanons #pannacotta fugo #fugio

[popculturebuffet]

Sam and Max Save the World Retrospective: The Mob, The Mole and the Meatball (Comissioned by WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy freelance police and welcome back to my retrospective look at Telltale Sam and Max! We're onto chapter 3!

Chapter 3…. is my faviorite so far of the four chapters i've played so far. (And I didn't skip one i've simply played ahead a bit into Abe LIncoln Must Die! ), having the bets ballance of the truly amazing writing with gameplay. I rarely had to turn to a guide, with most puzzles being the right ballance of challenging while still being fun to figure out. So join me under the cut as our heroes have to play some wack a rat, fake a murder, and join the mafia to find a mole.

Chapter 3 opens with our heroes getting their usual assignment from the Chief: his mob in the infamous toy mafia , a bunch of standard mafiso who wear teddy bear heads, has gone missing so our heroes head to Ted E. Bear's Mafia free playland and Casino.

Part of why I love this chapter so much… is the setting. The combo of a chucky cheese with a casino (having a slot machine and poker but also using tokens, having a buffet (that's of course closed), and having a wack a rat machine) is genius and the singing heads offer it. There's also the fun easter egg of pulling your gun.. which naturally gets every gun in the place trained on you.

There's also the fun of a simple gag: your code words are "does the carpet match the drapes?" which naturally gets a lot of great responses and somehow dosen't get our heroes hit in the junk.

What's fun is the activites are two simple but fun ones: the first is a mini game wack a rat which while challenging, most of it is from the fact i'm playing on switch and the game wasn't reofrmatted from being clearly meant for mouse. It's still hilarious.

The meat though is a showdown with cardsharp Lenoard Steakcharmer whose just.. a delight. From his obviously shady apperance, to his relationship with his dead mom, Leonard is eaisly the highlight of the chapter. The trick with this puzzle wasn't figuring out how to beat him, you get an ace in your office, so it'eas easy enough to see that's how.. the question was how. The dealer refuses to use it as they already have five and there isn't an option to let Max jam it down lenoards throat and steal his ten million tokens. The actual solution though is awesome: ther'es a reflective clowns nose over the entrance, tha'ts not only how lenoard can see your cards, but how you beat him: you slap the ace up there, he assumes you have one, and thus folds…. netting our heroes their prize and leonoard some therapy. Everybody wins!

The next challenge is getting in which is easy due to Leonoards close compettition, the bug.. which being bosco is a LITERAL bug. Bosco has also installed an anti-delivery system as the toy mafia keeps trying to put things in. Gee I wonder if that'll be important later.

The Bug is fucking great, having apparently been to nam.. and look if I have two comedic weak spots it's cocaine and people having been in nam, so of course I loved him. He's also the funnest item to use so far as he's versatile, able to copy dialouge from people, and thus it makes his use trickier in a fun way: you have ot figure out both where to plant him and who to have himc opy. It comes into play more next time but given most other items are just "use them whent he plot says so" it's a nice change of pace.

With him we can get into the back office and Don Ted E. Bear is impressed with our work, and thus gives us a few assignments before we can join the family, none of which are plesant and two thirds of which threaten our friends: whacking Sybil and delivering the hypno bears from last chapter to bosco. You also find the one from last chapter in your closet which is .. there. It'd be werid if I didn't mention the closet but after last chapter's trophy and especially with the next one, it's a bit underwheming as a souvineer. The third chapter is the titular meatball: the mafia's treasured hoagie has been stolen.

I tackled the last one first as it was the easiest to figure out: they mentioned the theif would be fencing it… and in a nice chekov's gun that for once isn't as obscure, we naturally only know Jimmy.

What did suprise me was who was selling it, Lenoard, who I was delighed to see again and have a tense standoff with… only to find out his gun is a pop gun and thus Max easily solves it with a violence. Seriously finding out of all the options that was the one that solved it was hilarious. The game uses the fact you expect something more complicated.. only for the simpliest solution to be the easiest, thus making all the time attmepting ot talk him down funnier. We leave Leonoard beat up and thus have our first item.

Next is Sybil. Her new career is witness for hire, which unrotuantely means the mob wants her dead and has her monitored. The how is complicated as she refuses to fake her death, but figuring it out was satisfying: she constantly lifts a mug.. which is interactable. So you simply steal it for a second, fill it with ketchup at boscos and then shoot it, making it look like they got her. Bloody hilarious. Career wise it's the weakest so far, so not much to say. Same with french bosco, which really speaks to how fun the ted e bears setting and the actual puzzles are this time: our two allies aren't at their best but what we have to do is so fun and clever it dosen't matter.

For Bosco it's simple: use a magnet we got earlier on his camera afte rdistracting him. Simple stuff but still fun to pull off and his bafflement at them delivering while his back was turn is great. Also with Btads now focused on merch entering, you can shoot up the place, which is always fun.

So with all three jobs done, we get inducted into the mob.. and get a shocking twist I should've seen coming from a mile away: THE MOB'S HEAD IS THE MOLE. And of course he's a literal mole. Unfortunately this outs us to the mob's head, and thus we end up having to run. This leads to a fun chase sequence as WE'RE being chased this time. After taking out the mob behind us with some obstacles.

So it's onto the final puzzle: dealing with the mole himself in his spooky factory, where he's making about 80 dozen teddy bears to ship out and brainwash the populace. The good news is his main weapon is brainwashing our heroes to work in his factory.. and both our heroes are immune.

(Wah wah)

Sam because of his hat and Max.. well originally I was just going to shrug but the more I thought about it the more I realize there is a solid answer: Max's mental state is so erratic and deranged brainwashing has no effect on him. I mean think about it: his reaction to most horrors he faces is "again again". Some things truly creep him out, sure, but his thought processes can sometimes be so alien that the hypnosis would likely have to be specifically catered to him to work and even then i'm not sure tha'td be possible unless the person desinging said hypnosis was someone on Max's level of psychosis… like say the Joker.

Anyways this leads to a fun bit where you have to fake max's death (using Lenoard's popgun, a nice literal chekovs gun) then figure out how to destroy the machines. The solution.. is clever: you get a screwdriver and previously the one armed bandit slot machine I almost forgot to mention , that gives no prize and only gave one when used as a hiding place for the meatball sub, and use it to alter one of the bears and thus use the Mole's hypnosis plot on him, causing him to wreck the factory and our heroes to exscapte the twisted burning wreckage as they do every tuesday. OUr heroes pat themselveso n the back but like last time it's clear this sin't over as one of the mafiso bears takes off his head and calls the mysterious mastermind behind all this to trigger plan B.

Next Month: Our heroes must be bad enough dudes to stop the president, then presidential canditate the lincoln memorial… by having Max run for president, a classic case of the solution being far worse than the actual problem. Until then thanks for reading.

#sam and max #sam and max save the world #telltale games #sam #max #sybil pandemik #bosco #it's me bosco #the mafia #chuck e cheese #nintendo switch

[galoogamelady]

Low effort collection of GTAO Buttons and his friend Val (@wafflii's character), mostly in Buttons' ugly ass nightclub Bonus:

#I don't really play anymore but ngl the nightclubs are a lot of fun #I really enjoy Tale Of Us' set #and the fact that I can actually jam out to it in game? genius. #GTA Online #OC #Buttons #Valerie #Val #nightclub #long post

[bruhstories]

Baby, I’ve Already got Your Heart

Summary: An accidental meeting between Armin and Y/N leads to an unhealthy obsession. Pairing: Armin Arlert x Fem!Reader (modern AU) Warnings: stalking, language, unprotected sex, loss of virginity, fingering, oral sex (male receiving), oral sex (female receiving), switch!Reader, switch!Armin, rope is involved. Word Count: 2.5 k

A/N: This fic is heavily inspired by this song. It is surprisingly wholesome, considering the tags xD

Armin Arlert. The purest man in the world. You accidentally met him one cold, rainy day when he entered your coffee shop for shelter and warmth. He naively talked to you, grateful for how nice you were with him, grateful for the cappuccino on the house, grateful for the towel you offered him to dry himself off. Little did Armin know, a fixation sprouted in your mind and heart, developing into the unhealthiest obsession. He was just so cute — and you just had to have him. It helped to know that you were both going to the same university, and after that, you knew everything about him: his Facebook, Instagram, email address, hell, you even knew his real address. To be fair, it was a piece of cake, the boy was absolutely clueless and whenever he 'accidentally' met you, he thought it was by pure chance. The next and most obvious step was to befriend people in his social circle, one Jean Kirstein, one Sasha Braus and one Connie Springer. Naturally, you did your homework, and you knew his best friends were Eren Jaeger and Mikasa Ackerman, but they weren't easy targets. Besides, it would jeopardise your entire plan, as you found Armin was considered a genius. An oblivious genius. He didn't know it yet, but you loved him and he loved you too, right?

A text from Sasha, months after you first met the angelic man, set your plan in motion. A casual gaming night at Armin's place, and you were invited. How perfect. Poor glutton Sasha had no fucking clue how much you were using her, how you told her you want to meet a cute guy, someone nice and caring, someone smart and attentive. The girl put two and two together and decided she just had to introduce you to one of her friends, especially that he was also interested in meeting a girl like you. Unbelievable — you acted surprised, met up with Sasha and left for Armin's little gaming night. You wouldn't let this opportunity go to waste. Starting from tonight, he'd be yours. Forever.

"Armiiiiiiiiin, I brought a plus one!" Sasha barged into his house. "This is my friend, Y/N. Y/N, Armin! Oh shit, pretzels!" The brown-haired woman left the two of you in the hallway and the blond flashed you a smile.

"I feel like I've seen you before." He mused as he closed the door behind you.

"If you ever drink coffee at Rose's you might've seen me there." You smiled and removed your leather jacket, revealing a Pearl Jam t-shirt.

"No way you listen to them!" Armin blurted.

"Are you kidding me? They're my favourite!" You lied through your teeth with a sickly-sweet smile.

"Mine too! Oh, I know, you're the girl who gave me a free cappuccino months ago!"

"I remember! You were drenched in rainwater." You laughed as the two of you entered the living room. "I had to mop up the puddles you left behind."

"I'm so sorry about that..." He blushed. Your heart fluttered and you couldn't wait to get your hands on him, but for the time being, you needed to behave.

"No worries, I just hope you didn't catch a cold." You assured Armin and sympathetically placed a hand on his shoulder. There he goes, blushing again. It couldn't be... was he a virgin? Fuck. This was better than you could've imagined.

"Who's this?"

"Oh, Mikasa, Eren, this is Y/N. She's friends with Sasha."

"Nice to meet you!" Eren shook your hand. "Oh, God, you listen to Pearl Jam, too? You nerds are going to get along just fine." He joked.

The night went great, and you actually had fun with Armin and his friends, despite not intending to mingle with them too much. People started leaving around 2 am, but Eren and Mikasa stayed longer. Too fucking long — and things were boring now anyway. You and Armin kept talking about video games and books, Mikasa fell asleep on Eren who was playing fucking Farmville on his phone. They had to leave as soon as possible.

"Hey, Y/N, we can take you home." Eren suggested and you froze. Shit.

"Didn't you say you're almost out of gas?" Armin questioned his friend.

"Ah, fuck, you're right. I still don't know how that happened — I fuelled the tank yesterday!" The brunette scoffed. "Guess you're on your own, Y/N."

"It's alright, I'll take an uber." You politely smiled.

"Alright, we'll wait for you."

Oh, for fuck's sake. Truth be told, you appreciated how nice and caring Armin's friends were, but you had a different goal to accomplish.

"You really don't have to, plus I have to use the bathroom." You excused yourself. "Um, where is the bathroom exactly?"

"Upstairs, first door on the right." Armin told you while gathering plates and cups from the table. You nodded and climbed up the stairs. Your hand hovered over the bathroom doorknob for a good minute, eyes drifting to the door next to it. Armin's bedroom, by the looks of it. Surely, you could take a look, right? Fuck it. You opened the second door and at first glance, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. LED and fairy lights encircled a corner of his room and, curiously, you walked closer to see what that was, because it didn't look like a desk. Your Y/E/C widened when you saw tens of framed photographs of yourself on the square table, objects you thought you lost and — Jesus, was that your bra? A rush of anxiety hit you, but before you could do anything, a blow to your head blurred your vision.

•°☆°•☆•°☆°•

Dark lashes fluttered as you opened your eyes. The sudden realisation that you were naked and restrained to a bed made you jolt. What just happened?

"Fucking finally, I thought you'd never wake up." Armin greeted you, but his voice was different, deeper and darker.

"Ar-ugh, Armin?" You groaned at the stinging sensation at the back of your head.

"You know, I was relieved you didn't leave with Sasha, otherwise you would've slipped between my fingers again."

Again?

"Ugh, and Eren and his stupid idea. 'We'll take you home.'" He mocked his best friend with a high pitch. "I've been dreaming for this moment since I walked into that shitty coffee shop."

You were at a loss for words. This was not the Armin you fantasised about, not the Armin you wanted. He was much more and much worse. And. So. Much. Better.

Alright then, you'd put up a show for him.

"P-please, Armin, please untie m-me! I'll be good, I p-promise!" You stuttered and whimpered, trying your best to sound genuine.

"Why, so you can run away?" The blond scoffed. So, he didn't know you stalked him. What a twist.

"I won't r-run, I swear!"

"Bullshit." Armin bent over your body, hands around your neck. You gasped and pretended to be startled by his touch, but in reality, your core was already burning with lust. You knew you couldn't keep up with this charade. "No, Y/N, I won't untie you. But we'll have so much fun." He sneered.

"You promise?"

"Yes. Wait—"

Your laughter filled the bedroom, genuine laughter that baffled Armin. Was this some sort of reverse psychology trick?

"Oh, Armin, even when you reveal your true colours, you're still oblivious to the reality of what's in front of you."

"Then enlighten me, what am I so oblivious to?" He folded his arms across his chest and waited.

"The fact that this was my fucking plan, too." You stretched as much as your restraints allowed you to and licked your lips. "I guess we both stalked each other without even knowing. How ridiculous."

"I think I would've known if you stalked me, Y/N."

"Really? Let me prove it, then. Your favourite food's Carbonara pasta, your favourite drink is peach and lychee iced tea, favourite movie is Interstellar, you lived on Sheena street until you were 12–"

"That's common knowledge, Sasha could've told you any of that." Armin blurted, growing impatient.

"You watch BDSM and asphyxiation porn between 10 pm and 11 pm every Tuesday, you're a virgin, you own a fleshlight–"

"Fuck, alright!" He threw his hands in the air, defeated. "So, what next?"

"You untie me and you tear me apart, Armin, that's what's next."

The blond hesitated before removing the cuffs on your ankles, still unsure about the ropes around your wrists. Clearly, you weren't making things up, but what were the chances of both of you stalking each other? For a brief moment, Armin felt guilty for hitting you and practically holding you captive, and you could see that on his face, but obsession and desire soon took over, and he reverted back to his darker self. His soft hands moved from your ankles to your knees, up your thighs and stomach, stopping above your chest, deciding it's best if you're not fully free. Armin licked his lips and climbed on top of you, unbuttoning his flannel shirt. You thought was surprisingly strong for such a thin man, but when the unbuttoned shirt revealed his chiselled abdomen, it made sense why he was strong.

"The wrists, Armin." You insisted but the blond clicked his tongue.

"I like you better when you're helpless." He pressed his lips onto yours in a hot kiss. A great kiss, you thought, your tongues wrestling for supremacy.

"Please, I want to touch you! I need to..." You trailed off, intoxicated by his smell, notes of saffron and cardamom. His hands roamed your shoulders, tickling your axilla and groping your breasts. "Please let me touch you, Armin!" You begged again, but he didn't say a word, his hot breath fanning over your oversensitive nipples, goosebumps all over your skin. His pink tongue poked out of his mouth and you watched him painstakingly slowly lick one of your nipples. It literally pained you to be unable to touch him, pull him closer to you. Alas, you had no choice, and despite yearning to be in control, it aroused you to have him control you.

"You smell so sweet." He abruptly stopped. "I bet you taste sweet, too."

"Armin..." His words made you brace yourself. While you weren't a virgin, you've never had anyone eat you out. The blond was already in between your legs, one hand resting under your thigh, the other gently touching your slick folds. Armin was so careful, like you were made of glass, and the ticklish sensation didn't help you at all. You wanted him to ram his cock inside of you and rearrange your guts, but he wanted to take his sweet time. The teasing only made you dizzy with pleasure, and you bucked your hips, trying to get him to move faster.

"You really need to learn to be patient, Y/N." Armin purred, pressing gentle kisses on your thighs. He lazily dragged his tongue across your slit, electricity shooting through your body. God, how you wanted to rip those ropes apart. Two fingers entered you and the blond gingerly licked your clit.  

"Fuck– so... so good ah–" You couldn't form a sentence even if your life counted on it. Gradually, you could feel your orgasm building up and Armin sensed it, picking up the pace. His fingers thrusted harder and you arched your back, the intensity too much for you. "Armin, please! I wanna come with your cock in me!" The begging didn't stop him, he was determined to make you finish then and there. And he did — within seconds you melted under his touch, legs trembling with pleasure. Armin pulled back, his mouth messy with saliva mixed with your juices.

"You come when I want you to come." His voice was low, almost like a growl. He unbuttoned his jeans, and you watched him like a hawk, waiting to see just how big his was, and you were not disappointed.

"Please please please let me suck it, please!" You begged him, eager to taste him. He smirked and kissed you, all the while rubbing his cock.

"You want this?" Armin quirked a brow at you. The little shit, jacking off in front of you and you couldn't even do anything about it.

"Armin..."

"Say it. Say you want it."

"Armin!"

"Say it, Y/N." He groaned, precum leaking from his member. Fuck.

"I... I want it..." You eventually gave up.

"Good girl." The blond climbed back on top of you. He raised your hips and you placed your legs on his shoulder, his first thrust slow and deep. Armin couldn't help the moan escaping his lips — this was so much better than that shitty fleshlight and countless porn videos. You couldn't deny the fact that it hurt, despite your soaking cunt, but you quickly adjusted to his size. As Armin pounded you, the bed underneath the two of you started moving and screeching, and the ropes tied to the metal bedframe loosened and you felt your arms fall onto the pillows. In his frenzy, the blond didn't notice, so you took this opportunity to lower your legs and wrap them around his waist, one hand grabbing his soft locks, the other wrapping around his neck. You used his weight against him and turned him over. You were in control.

Armin was taken aback by this, but the feeling of your fingers squeezing his throat only turned him on more. You bounced up and down, throwing your head back and groaning. He gripped your hips tightly, thrusting his own hips against yours.

"F-fuck me harder, Y/N!" He begged and you sped up. You felt like a queen — no, a goddess — when he asked you to fuck him, the feeling of him inside of you so addictive. He was your drug, and your rehab, your poison, and your antidote. And you were his and his only. His cock was twitching in your cunt and knew he was close but you didn't want to risk it. Swiftly, you got off of him and wrapped your lips around his dick, bobbing your head up and down. It didn't take long for him to finish, hot liquid shooting down your throat with one final grunt. You swallowed it all and threw yourself next to him. It was breaking dawn already, but you weren't tired. Physically, yes, both of you were exhausted, but mentally it felt like you discovered a hidden gem.

"What the fuck did we just do?" Armin calmly caressed your hair as you nuzzled his neck.

"Are we talking about the obsessively stalking each other part or the part where you hit me in the head? Or the fucking?"

"The everything." He explained. "This is wrong."

"Did it feel wrong?" You asked him, your fingers idly tracing circles over his chest.

"Well, no..."

"Then it's not wrong." You shrugged. "Am... am I yours?"

"Yes." The blond instantly replied without a trace of hesitation in his voice. "Am I?"

"You've been mine the moment you set foot in that shitty coffee shop." You laughed.

"And what are we going to tell the others?"

"That we ended up talking all night and I stayed over?"

"Sounds like a plan." Armin kissed your forehead.

"By the way, I really don't like Pearl Jam." You admitted.

He laughed and it filled your heart with warmth. You have no idea why you and Armin were like that, or how things would be from now on, but you had a good feeling about it. Things were okay. You two were okay.

#armin arlert x reader #armin x reader #snk smut #snk x reader #shingeki no kyoujin #armin arlert smut #aot smut #aot x reader #attack on titan #armin arlert

[chaosemeraldchasers]

Sonic Music

Dear Readers,

I don't know about you, but whenever I think of a Sonic game, the first thing that comes to mind is the music! From Sonic 1, Sonic Adventure to Mania there are so many original scores that Sega has attached to these games. Sometimes when I play a game or particular level the music puts me back to that first moment I entered that zone and how it perfectly suited that region.

For your reading pleasure I have compiled a top 10 list of the best Sonic tracks - feel free to comment.

10. Green Hill Zone - the OG of the Sonic musical score. This diddy was originally composed by Masato Nakamura [band member of Dreams Come True] and has reappeared several times throughout the franchises gaming history, i.e. Sonic Generations, Sonic Mania, and Sonic Forces. In an article written by Carl Anka of the Sabotage Times (2013) the original Sonic the Hedgehog game was touted as having the greatest music of any video game as a result of Green Hill's catchy beat. Don't believe me? Then you better check out some tracks that actually sampled this beat -Ms. Rightfernow by Wiz Kahlifa is a total bop.

9. Kick the Rock! - the hip hop track from Sonic Adventure 2 rapped in the POV as Knuckles is serious vibes. It gives our boy Rad Red some serious street cred - even the subtle burns and acknowledgement of how hot Rouge is kinda makes you laugh and ads to the lore that they're vibing.

8. Knuckles Theme - From Sonic Adventure this song actually sucks, BUT it comes with this epic line that has become a joke among us Classic Fans "You can call me Knuckles, unlike Sonic I don't chuckle I'd rather flex my muscles" - well then, explain this!!??

7. Ice Cap Zone - ok kids, the fact that the Michael Jackson allegedly composed this and that it has been remixed countless times is evidence enough for it to be a certified bop. This little diddy is on my snowboarding jams soundtrack. This upbeat rave-like song will make you want to get up and move. Every time it comes on and I'm on my board I'm envisioning the moment I saw Sonic on a snowboard for the first time and it was MF epic. Only the coolest kids snowboarded in the 90's so this just further solidified Sonic as the OG of the gaming character world for being Way Past Cool.

6. Star Dust Speedway (Act 2, Mania version) - Tee Lopes was a fucking GENIUS on all tracks relating to Mania. When Taxman decided to hire a sound guy he picked THE guy. A decade prior to Mania he got his start doing remixes on Sonic tracks which is where he was sourced to do the project. Lopes states that, “Although I wanted to make something that everyone could enjoy,” he says of the soundtrack, “I must confess that I specifically aimed to make older Sonic fans feel like they're kids again.” And he did...

5. Pumpkin Hill - Another Knux track, the Echidna can spit bars what can I say? This shit gives me hardcore 90's rap vibes and I'm all for that. It's creepy its, its upbeat, it works perfect for the level.

4. Oil Ocean - Sonic 2 I see you! Waiting on that movie like... hurry up 2022! Can we talk about this track? Epic. Original, Mania, or remixed you can't beat the vibe.

3. Metallic Madness (Mania, Act 2) - does anyone know wtf the guy in the back is jibbering? Not sure what it is but I love it. This track can get you ramped up with it's highs and lows... that saxobeat too. Super fun, am I right?

2. Studiopolis (Acts 1 & 2) - Turn this on and try not to bop your head and think 'yeah i get it'.... definitely the BEST new track Sega has put out in a very loooooooooooooong time - again, Tee Lopes we do not deserve you.

and finally... the best song in Sonic history:

1. Chemical Plant Zone - This is the song all us millennial's remember. As we cautiously picked up the controller knowing damn well that those water parts were coming up and NO tails did not swim and bubble shields did not exist. Friends, while you're trying to get up those damn stairs of death without drowning this music is both the most anxiety inducing track and your biggest hype beast when you make it through the stairs of hell and then past the floating rafts of doom. This song is hands-down a mutha-fuckin' work of art - don't agree? fight me.

For your viewing pleasure - all Millennials' personal hell as small children - you're welcome.

Xo, Em 💙🦔

Like 💙Share

#knuckles #sega #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #archie sonic #knuckles chaotix #team chaotix #sonuckles #tails miles prower #knuckles the echidna #chemical plant zone #sonic music #espio the chameleon #vector the crocodile #mighty #emerald hill #mighty the armadillo #charmy the bee #sally acorn #freedom fighters #Sea3on #sonic satam #idw sonic

[the-girl-with-the-glass-heart]

I wanna make Logan autistic in my high school au and I figure I should share my notes about it in case there’s anything I need to be corrected on

I want to make Logan autistic because as a neurodivergent person myself I figuired it would be good to add more neurodivergent representation in my Au.

I have done a fair amount of research such as reading blog posts about writing autistic characters from actual people on this sight with autism, fact checking various misconceptions or questions I have about autism, reading published news articles about writing autism from people with autism (completely avoiding anything autism speaks has ever said) and basing it a little off of personal experience because while I don’t have autism, I have ADHD and they tend to have an overlap of symptoms.

So please, if you are autistic please read and correct any information that you feel is incorrect or could be improved anyway, I really want to portray this right!

FYI I also tried to mention a bit how this affects his personal relationships since this is a big part of his identity.

-He was diagnosed when he was 12 years old and entering middle school.

-He stims by pacing, sorting things by color, hand flapping, fidget cubes and chewing pens.

-His special interests include: Sherlock Holmes, Star Trek, psychology and even though he’s some what embarrassed to admit it, Crofters (he collects the jars after he’s done eating the jam and keeps them all nicely arranged on his desk for decoration, he knows a lot about how the company was founded and the personal lives of its founders)

-He has poor motor skills so he doesn’t partake in physical activity much, he can understand how sports are played but when it comes to actually playing the game he just can’t get the hand eye co ordination right, so he decides to sit on the benches instead.

-He’s sensitive to a lot of certain noises like balloons popping, books slamming on a table, really loud clapping, ect. so patton bought him a really fancy pair of indigo noise cancelling head phones for his birthday.

-For a while he was insecure about his stimming so he would sit on his hands to prevent it, Virgil actually encouraged him to be more open about it since he knows the importance of stimming.

-He doesn’t understand quite a few jokes and has trouble expressing himself partly due to a fear of being too childish and needy since he knows how often autistic people aren’t treated seriously because of their autism and are seen more as permanent children, he also can’t really express himself in the same way as others because of his autism, he often says something and it completely comes across the wrong way.

-He’s a picky eater hence why he eats crofters on toast so often since it’s one of the few foods he likes the taste and texture of.

-when he was first diagnosed he was very scared to tell his friends and honestly started to feel insecure about his intelligence, their town is very small so the autistic community was practically non existent so Logan didn’t have many resources to learn about his autism, his parents had to sit him down and talk to him about it in order for him to understand what autism fully was.

-Patton and Remus absolutely adore every time Logan infodumps about his special interests since Remus loves when people rant about weird stuff and Patton just loves how happy Logan gets when talking about it.

-Logan attends physical therapy every two weeks and has a friendly relationship with his therapist, he also sees a regular therapist every two weeks since his moms wanna make sure their little boy is doing okay all the time since they know he’s kind of a stoic over achiever.

-he often gets crushes on guys who share the same interests as him or just any guy who lets him infodump on them with out any shame *cough* Patton and Remus *cough*

-his friends always try to comfort him during meltdowns by staying calm and patient, with the expecting of Virgil of course who will panic and feel the need to leave which everyone understands, even Logan told him at one point that he doesn’t have to stick around if he thinks the situation is too stressful.

I considered making science, reading or math one of his special interest but since most resources I got for writing a character with autism told me to avoid that since it’s mostly a stereotype associated with autistic people being genius’s so instead, While Logan is smart and loves science it’s not one of his special interests, the best way I can describe it is I have ADHD so I have hyper fixations (examples: monster high, Cinderella and sander sides) and I also love art and do it all the time but that’s more of a general hobby than a hyperfixation for me.

So yeah... tell me if I should add or take away anything, don’t be shy, your feedback is definitely appreciated!

#Logan sanders #logan sander sides #sander sides au #sander sides Logan #Thomas sanders #sander sides #sanderssides #sandersides #sanders sides

[nights-legacy]

Ice Breaking Utterance-Donnie

Donatello 2014 Version

+ Y/N always felt like Donnie didn’t like her. In reality, he just didn’t know how to act around her. So he would act dismissive but never cross. One day, all of them are hanging out and Donnie cracks a quiet comeback to one of Raph’s one liners. Only Y/N hears it though and bursts up laughing. She gets strange looks from everyone but Donnie who starts to laugh too. One statement finally breaks the ice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N’s POV

It wasn’t the first time that I had been ignored and excluded by a single person. Not in the slightest was it the first time. But it was the first time it had been by someone I was actually close too. Well, not really close but by someone that I spent a lot of time with. I spent 80% of my time in the lair with the guys, April, and Casey. At least, three out of the four of the guys. Donnie for some reason…avoided me, ignored me, anything to where he didn’t have to deal with me. I don’t know what I did.

“And from what I heard Bebop and Rocksteady are living as comfortable as those two can.” Casey said. “The higher ups are still trying to figure what to do with them completely.”

“I say put them in a dark hole and forget about them.” Raph said from his spot at his weights. Everyone agreed to an extent. I settle back into the couch next to April as the guys conversed about the battle they had with the two idiot criminals.

“Do all men live in their past, like this?” I asked leaning into her shoulder with my arms crossed. She laughed.

“Most do. But I thought…” She trailed off for a second. We both looked back the guys then simultaneously looked at each other. “These boys would be the exception.”

“Apparently not!” I laughed hard. She joined me in laughing while I doubled over into her lap laughing and trying to catch my breath.

“Alright everyone! Gather round, I got the grub!” Mikey yelled as he came in with a tower of boxes. The guys all rush forward and passed out the boxes. The guys all chose places around the room only leaving only spot left for Donnie. I gave him a small smile as he sat down. He just gave me a blank look. I shrunk back a bit before turning back to the others. Casey was talking about some of his past assignments, trying to impress April I think.

“I remember this one guys that thought he was this really big, rough and tough guy when he was in reality a guy barely under 5 foot and weighed no more than 130 pounds. He was just a robber that got lucky then unlucky.” He kept going on and on with quips from Raph and Mikey.

“I guess that’s shows you how the criminal master minds aren’t as smart as they make themselves out to be. Trying to pull off things that are way out of their league.” Mikey joked around.

“Yeah, they try until we come along and squash every last one of them. Foiling their dastardly plans.” Raph said with confidence. Mikey and Casey laughed but Leo just rolled his eyes with a smile. I just shook my head and leant my hand on the back of the couch, spacing out until Donnie’s voice caught my attention.

“Scientists say the universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons, and Electrons. They forgot to mention Morons.” I choked and burst out laughing. Everyone looked at me in confusion. I looked at Donnie and smiled while still laughing. He realized that I heard him and started laughing too.

“What the heck guys?” Mikey asked super confused.

“Nothing Mikey. Don’t worry about it!” I said finally calming down. I looked at Donnie and giggled. “Not sure if you morons would understand. Good one, Don.” I said half expecting him to not respond. He smiled, chuckling and muttered a thanks before turning back to the conversation. I looked at him in shock before returning my attention as well.

*Time Skip*

A while later, everyone separated to do their own things. Casey left for home, commenting on having an early shift in the morning. Leo and Raph went to the dojo, Mikey took over the TV, April went to speak with Master Splinter, and Donnie retreated to his lab. I sat, a little apprehensive on the couch. I wanted to go talk to Donnie but was afraid he would be like before. I kept glancing at the door to his lab.

“Just go already!” I jumped at the voice and turning to see Mikey looking at me expectantly.

“What?”

“GO talk to the genius. I know you want too.” Mikey said pointing at the door with his controller.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I darted my eyes around, avoiding his gaze. I heard him scoff. Suddenly he was standing in front of me. I recoiled back in surprise.

“Bull.” He said before picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder. “It’s not unapparent the tension between you two you know. I have seen how he has been dismissive of you since the beginning. I also noticed the little moment you two had earlier.”

“Mikey…” He was walking towards the lab.

“No, no.” He set me down on the ground. “Go!” He shoved me into the room before shutting the door. I stumbled and fell the ground hard.

“Ow.” I groaned rubbing my elbow and sitting up slightly. I green hand appeared in front of me, spooking me a bit. I looked up and saw Donnie. I gave him a small smile and grabbed his hand. He pulled me up and helped steady me.

“Are you alright?” He asked. I nodded but winced as my fingers brushed a cut on the back of my arm. Donnie noticed and pulled my arm to him. He looked before guiding me farther into the room. I sat down as he got supplies to dress my cut. He silently got to work.

“Thank you.” I said not being able to stand the awkward silence. He looked up at me and sighed. I bit my lip as he finished.

“You’re welcome.” He said as he stepped back and leant against one of his tables. He crossed his arms before pinched the bridge of his beak. “I’m sorry.”

“What?” I looked at him surprised. He let his hand fall from his face.

“I’m sorry for the way I’ve acted. I had no right. I just…” He trailed off, looking away. I smiled.

“Go on.”

“I just didn’t know how to act around you, Y/N. I don’t even know why either.” He got up and started pacing. “You were just somehow different from April, Casey, and Vern. I just couldn’t act normal around you. My chest would tighten and my heart would start to race. Like it is now.” He began to ramble. I chuckled as I realized what he was saying.

“Donnie.” He didn’t hear me. I got up and walked toward him. He didn’t notice until I grabbed him by the tails of his mask. He yelped as I pulled him to me. He turned around quick and yelped again when I placed my lips on his. I pulled away and looked at him. “I understand and it’s okay.”

“What? Oh…umm.” He blushed and scratched the back of his head. I smirked. “That all makes sense all of a sudden.” I chuckled. He tentatively set his hands on my waist. “I went about this all wrong, didn’t I?”

“Yep.” I pulled him into a soft kiss. This time his kissed back. Growing comfortable, he pulled me closer and flush against him. “I guess you need to go thank Mikey for pushing me in here.”

“Oh, yeah. Now I know who I need to have a word with.” His face grew serious. He pulled back and grabbed my hand. We walked to the door and he opened it. He leant against the door jam and pulled me against his side, arm over my shoulders. “Hey Mikey!”

“Yeah?” He paused his game and turned around. He saw us and smirked. “So you two made up?” He wiggle his brow ridges. Donnie smiled and nodded. I saw Leo, Raph, and April standing off to the side.

“Yes we did. Thanks.” Mikey got up and bowed. He froze when Donnie spoke up again. “But…you need to be more careful Michelangelo. Next time one of your little stunts results in hurting Y/N again, you’ll wish you pissed off Raph instead of me.” Mikey pales, gulping.

“Oh no. I’m sorry! Won’t happen again!” He squeaked looking very worried. Raph burst out laughing and you could see Leo and April trying to keep it together. Mikey mocked a brave facade.  “So are you two like a thing?”

“Mikey!” April berated. He looked at her with a ‘what’ face. As the others bickered, Donnie and I snuck back into the lab.

“So…are we a thing?” Donnie asked. I smiled and thought about for a second but I already knew the answer. With a simple nod, I pulled him in for another kiss. A crash from the other room pulled us apart. The sound of Mikey’s screams and Raph loud threats gave way to the fact that they were up to their usual game of cat and mouse. “They can be big idiots. Sometimes I just want to beat myself hearing them act like this.”

“Self-Control, the only way to survive in a world full of idiots.” I said while leaning towards him. His eyes widened before he cracked up laughing like I did earlier to finally break the ice.

#tmnt #tmnt imagines #teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles imagines #imagine #imagines #donatello tmnt #donatello #donnie #tmnt x reader #donatello imagine #donatello x reader #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #bayverse tmnt #tmnt imagine #teenage mutant ninja turtle imagine #michelangelo tmnt #leonardo tmnt #raphael tmnt #raph #leo #mikey

[has-gilgamesh-doneanythingwrong]

Just Another Day in Fuyuki

Follows the events of Fuyuki’s 5th Holy Grail war from the perspective of an ordinary student.* (also lmao i put it on ao3 too)

*(This idea was based off a hilarious YouTube comment I read)

The first time she realized that something was rotten within the town of Fuyuki was on a cool, midnight blue night. It was a night like no other, ivory rays of moonlight dancing atop her skin as she took a casual jog past the all-too familiar gates of Homurahara Academy.

It should’ve been a normal night, yet the streets were much more silent than usual. Before she could spin to the side to cross over to the next junction; a powerful array of red lights assaulted her eyes, darting around like spirits.

‘WHAT?’ As she looked back, she saw that the red lights were emanating from none other than Homurahara Academy itself! That was strange, she had never witnessed such an event before.

‘Looks like we’ve got a case of delinquents at our place as well, huh?’ All it took was a split second for her to turn her back against the bizarre sight, regarding it as no more than a minor prank. Well of course she did. It’s not as if anything exciting happened within Fuyuki, anyway!

Little did she know that such an action may have saved her very life...

‘Good morning. Recently we’ve been sighting reports of multiple gas leaks and bloodless murders. In addition to this, there’s recently been an online trend of blurry pictures of people wearing suspicious cosplay being shared online. Many sources suggest that...’

As the local Fuyuki news blared yet more macabre news surrounding recent incidents, the young girl slipped on her wood brown loafers, as she patted down her coffee brown school jumper.

The young girl’s name was none other than Sakaki Ayane; a student of Homuhara Academy. As she jammed her plain, homemade bento filled to the brim with Strawberry Cream Sandwiches and Fried Chicken Cutlets into her extremely ordinary school bag, and switched off the plain television with a bland remote, a singular thought passed her mind.

‘It really is just another normal day in Fuyuki today!’ Sure, the news was terrifying- but hey, as long as her daily peace wasn’t disturbed, she was fine! Slamming the door to her basic house closed, she skipped through the mundane streets of her hometown, warm sunlight beaming down on her face, as she bowed politely to  fellow shop-owners and neighbors.

See, her life was totally fine! There was no need to worry about the news, or that time she witnessed giant fireworks at her school, after all! Everything was definitely all-ok!

As she prowled past numerous mounds of identically-emblazoned students, and sat herself right in the middle of Fujimura Taiga’s homeroom class- students guffawing at their sensei’s top-notch sense of humor- she breathed a sigh of relief.

However once lunchtime passed, Ayane was shocked speechless by a minor change to her daily lifestyle. Just as usual, her orange-haired classmate- Emiya Shirou- had caught the entire hall’s attention, due to his lively interactions with a twin-tailed genius named Tohsaka Rin. Ayane was pretty used to their interactions by now- Emiya would bust out into an awkward show, whilst students would gasp, their faces marred with awe and jealousy. As for Rin, she knew next to nothing about the beautiful girl, except for the fact that she’d sometimes catch her mid-conversation with Emiya, using rather surreal vocabulary such as ‘holy grail’ and ‘mages’.

Thinking it was nothing much, Ayane was convinced that Emiya and Tohsaka were a bunch of Roleplayers or something. She didn’t know much about the genre, but found it to be quite fun to imagine scenarios such as being a mage fighting over holy grails, and fighting dangerous beasts- such as skeleton armies. ‘I mean, why else would they talk as if they’re in the middle of a quest?’ Taking another humongous munch out of her sandwich, shock finally settled into her pores once she noticed that something was a little off about their interactions this time.

‘Where’s Shinji?’ That greasy-seaweed-haired, smug little man’s features were very prominent in Ayane’s mind. Based on her assumptions, he was the kind of idiot who kept on trying to interrupt Emiya and Tohsaka’s Roleplay sessions- much to both their chagrins.

However, this time- he wasn’t here at all?! Where had he gone off to? ‘I guess they finally kicked him off their Roleplay club, once and for all.’ Ayane heaved a sigh at that. She had no idea why they’d accommodate such a selfish guy in the first place; seeing as he always kept on trying to centre their Roleplaying on topics concerning himself instead! ‘If I was a Roleplayer, I definitely wouldn’t want him on my squad!’ Incredulously tapping her feet against the linoleum flooring; she tried to think of various reasons as to why Shinji was kicked out of the gang.

But it was to no avail. Slamming her head against the tea brown shade of her desk, she groaned.

That was it! There was no choice but to catch the latest gossip! Packing up her lunchbox, she rushed out of the classroom like a blur of wind; leaving bemused classmates in her wake. Running as if her life depended on it, she leapt onto the school roof; caught sight of the local gossips- and pulled out a spare sandwich.

“I’ll offer you this sandwich! So, spare me the news, what’s going on with Shinji?!”

A bunch of confused girls, smack bang in the middle of a game of cards- looked up at Ayane, their faces confused.

“Shinji? Who’s Shinji again?” A girl with blonde hair and piercings shrugged her shoulders.

“You know, that rich guy? That one that has cash leaking outta his pockets.”

“Oh, that guy? Have no clue.”

“A friend of a friend of a friend dated him. Said he’s a pain in the butt to be around.”

“Yes, that’s the one!” Ayane pointed excitedly, as she plonked herself in between the girls, her body heaving with laboured breaths. “So, what happened? When did he disappear?”

“If you want details like that, you’re gonna have to offer more than a sandwich,” The blonde-haired girl whined. “You’re always asking us for gossip these days, Ayane.”

“A-ah, is that so?” Anxiously wiping sweat off her forehead, Ayane rummaged through her bag: oodles of paper; pretty rocks; textbooks and other strange materials clattering onto the stone ground. Eventually, she uncovered a small talisman from her bag, eyes gleaming with excitement. “How about this then? I’m sure this is worth quite a bit of yen!”

“Dude, my sister bought that for 500 yen the other day. No dice from me.”

“It’s pretty cute, though...I’ll take it!” As one girl happily exchanged it with Ayane, the others spun their heads in horror.

“Kikuo! You damn betrayer!”

“You can’t be human, accepting such a cheapskate offer!”

“Damn, though...I can relate. Who can resist cute things, amirite?”

As they began to squabble, Ayane laughed. Nothing beat a good gossip session!

The school day had finally ended, with only the loud cheering and yells of various school clubs filling the now empty halls of Homurahara Academy. As she pulled out her loafers from her metallic gray shoe locker; a conflicted expression crossed her face, as she recalled the events of her gossip session.

“Ah, that Shinji? Well, it was really odd, but he pissed off right after a major incident hit our school!”

“W-what happened?” Ayane was more or less right in the other girl’s face, her eyes bulging with curiosity.

“E-erm, well...” Blushing awkwardly, the girl scratches her face. “I mean, weren’t you there? It was kinda unforgettable.”

“Actually, I decided to take a day off school that day.” Ayane’s directness was like a major slap in the face for the others. “School can be really boring sometimes...”

“I had a feeling you’d say that...” Another sighed. “Well anyway, some HUGE shit happened. Like we were all sitting in class one second-”

“- and then there was this weird- ass red light-”

‘What is it with our school and red lights?’ Ayane’s gut instinct could tell that something was strange about this story. It felt unreal.

“-Yeah, and then like everything just blacked out. Like the only memory I have is of me waking up the next day or something.” The other girls nodded in assent. “It’s like some freaky curse possessed the shit out of Homurahara Academy or something!”  None of them were able to fill in the missing blanks about what happened; eventually blaming it all on poison gas.

“Well, anyway; Shinji disappeared from that day onwards. Not like that’s a bad thing, mind you.” And that was it.

As Ayane exited the gates, a heavy cloud permeated her mind. Time was certainly out of joint, for them to not even be able to recall what happened! ‘Maybe Shinji was possessed by a ghost...’ Strolling by the courtyard, she caught sight of a familiar purple-haired student.

It was Matou Sakura. Because Ayane was such a nosy student, she recognised her as that one shy girl who’d label her classmate-Emiya, as her senpai. As she passed the girl, she bowed ever-so-slightly in respect, as Sakura embarrassedly bowed back. Watching after her back, yet another terrifying wash of surprise crawled across her back.

Didn’t Sakura usually meet up with that one super-glamorous, plum-haired model-like lady on her way home? It was strange to see Sakura walking home alone.

‘Shit’s really hitting the fan now...’ Ayane mused, as she turned in the opposite direction. She needed an emotional escape to purge herself of the encroaching force of dread threatening to engulf her body. ‘Ah, that’s it! Let’s go to the harbour!’ Regaining her previous sense of joy, Ayane more or less sprinted to Fuyuki Harbour. Aside from a few guests, people going fishing- and the odd seagull- it was often quiet, making it the perfect place for silent contemplation!

She more or less flew towards the harbour, breathing in a deep gulp of the fresh sea air once she arrived. The harbour was like heaven, drifting clouds trundling overhead. Pointing exuberantly at that one special lighthouse perched far away, she grinned. ‘This is the best- OH?!’

Before she could release a scream of joy, she caught sight of something.

It seemed as if she wasn’t alone at the harbour, after all. Shielding her eyes from the billowing wind, she caught sight of a rather fit man in skin-tight black pants; and a figure-hugging white shirt. But what really caught her off-guard was his bold blue locks of hair.

‘Hey, wait a minute!! Why does he remind me of those blurry pictures of people wearing suspicious cosplay?!’ Clamping a hand over her mouth, she prayed to all of the gods and deities in the world to disguise her presence. Seeing as the man was looking so intently at the sea, she didn’t want to disturb his peace time. ‘What a shame...’ One of Ayane’s favourite hobbies was to scream at the harbour, where nobody else could hear her. However, she would be cordial to this visitor today. ‘You better watch out, blue hair!’ She declared in her mind; fists clenched. ‘I’ll be considerate today, but won’t be next time! If I see you again, you’ll definitely have to put up with me screaming at the sea!!’

As she moonwalked as silently as possible away from the sparkly man, a major thought hit her mind. ‘There sure have been a lot of beautiful people with stunning hair colours hanging out in Fuyuki lately...’ It made her somewhat excited yet terrified at the same time to see just how much her daily life was changing.

Oh well, there was no choice but for her to release her pent-up emotions somewhere else instead. As a rather detailed map of Fuyuki appeared within her mind, a lightbulb popped in her brain. ‘The Fuyuki City Centre!’ Nothing was better than throwing one’s emotions at a cup of ice cream. ‘I’m a genius,’ Ayane twirled down the road, pattering rays of sun following behind. After screaming at the sky in the park (startling a few children); and buying the biggest matcha sundae that she could afford, she was all set for the day and ready to go home.

Although today had been quite suspicious, things were finally settling back to normal. Or so she thought. All peace instantly came to a halt, as she bumped into something quite long. ‘Oh crap!’ Raising her head, she came face-to-face with none other than a human wearing a... strange combination between a... biker outfit and school uniform? ‘Never seen an outfit like that before.’ As she bowed in apology, a piercing gaze reminiscent of death itself froze her body to its very core.

“The humans of this era are such pathetic mongrels...” The voice trailed off, as the harsh man’s presence all but disappeared.

‘Err...What?’ Once he was out of sight, her legs buckled; as she fell to the ground- passer-by's sparing her disgruntled glances. ‘I’ve never felt a presence that scary before...’ Clutching her heart anxiously, the shadow of death curled itself around her chest; suffocating her breath. It would take until the pitch black of night for her to regain her composure again. As she trawled back home within the dark, Ayane exhaled painfully, clutching her head.

What a weird day this had been! ‘I’m so glad I’m home now.’ Relieved, she withdrew her jangling keys from her bag; overjoyed to be right in front of her basic house again!

“Yay, I’m home-?!!!!” The ground beneath her rattled ominously, as she toppled to the ground- her eyes rattling wildly. Powerful tremors rippled around her, warping Fuyuki into the most demonic rollercoaster ride she had ever had the displeasure of experiencing.

‘WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!!!’ Idealistic images of the bland, mundane Fuyuki that she loved were shattering, right before her eyes. As a mere human she was blissfully unaware of the blood-curdling terrors lurking right beside her, in this cursed town...This was the fate of those unaware of the events of the Fifth Holy Grail War.

THE END

(lmao Ayane is the weirdest original character EVER. However, I do wonder what random passers-by think about all of the strange crap occurring in Fuyuki!)

#fate series #fate stay night #my writing #gilgablog #original character #LMAOOO this ended up being much funnier than expected daymn... #meh i put it on ao3 too

[stormsbourne]

do you think hs is worth reading? for someone who hasnt read it before. bc i kinda wanna get into it but this epilogue stuff seems kinda shitty and confusing af. sry for bothering u abt it but i just genuinely wanna know. xoxo

ADDED AFTER THE FACT: WOW THIS REPLY IS LONG SORRY

honestly, I don’t know. my experience with homestuck at this point is that I try not to think about it because the ending was so deliberately mean and shitty that it ruins the journey. it tells me all the depth and meaning I saw in the original was just me projecting, playing shadow puppets with themes I like and relate to and could get invested in. a friend of mine has a theory that andrew hussie is just the ultimate appeaser who adopts the views of whoever he hanggs around with, and so a lot of the stuff I identified closely with was during the era when he hung out with mostly sjw types (act 5.2 through pre-omegapause act 6). then he started hanging around with edgelords again, and people who sniffed his farts and told him how brilliant they were. whew. love it. love where this has brought us.

if you really do want to read it for the context of knowing what everyone has been talking about, honestly, then you should go for it. the story might not click with you and you might find yourself falling out, because the early comic is infamously difficult to get into. HOWEVER: 

you may feel like you have gotten a complete story after a video/flash segment in late act 6 called “remem8er.” if you want to stop there, you are perfectly within your rights. 

if you don’t stop there, then you SHOULD stop either after a video/flash segment in act 6 titled “collide,” or, at the latest, after “act 7.” don’t bother with the snapchat updates. they were ultimately completely pointless.

PLEASE do not read the epilogues. if, eventually, you feel the need to know what’s in them, there are some good summary posts out there -- I wouldn’t recommend mine, it’s a little too rambly and the original version got some plot points wrong. just use those. don’t read the actual thing. it is a waste of time

and obviously don’t bother with homestuck 2

and, more importantly, if you do get into it, don’t even fucking bother with the dregs of the fandom today. homestuck fandom always sucked shit, but these days it’s worse than ever mainly because the authors of hs2 are very active on twitter and are very loud about what they think of critics. they’re whiny ass babies who are overinvolved with their fandom and then whine about people discussing their shit. don’t bother with current fandom. go read some stuff from before april 2019 on ao3 and enjoy it there. the homestuck fandom as it stands now is basically a ghost town full of shrieking wraiths demanding why you don’t love andrew hussie’s brilliant genius. 

as for the companion games (hiveswap/friendsim/pesterquest), I have no interest in any of them whatsoever at this point especially because pq just seems like another way for the hs2 people to rub one off about their incarnation of “canon.” but if they’re your jam, go for it I guess. 

the thing for me is that my knowledge of what a shitbird andrew hussie is has ruined any depth I once read in these characters. there’s a couple things I may write on commission soon, but outside of commissions I can never see myself seriously engaging with it again because every time I think about it, I feel like andrew hussie is taking a shit in my dinner all over again.

did I meantion 4/13, the big arc number, is my birthday? lol

TLDR: if you want to read it to understand the cultural phenomenon, go for it, but don’t read anything outside the comic’s original ending, act 7. I find it hard to recommend for the same reasons that people who watched game of thrones might find it hard to recommend their show now. the ending so thoroughly stripped the rest of it of any meaning or depth or emotional resonance that the feeling I have when I consider it is just an inner deadness. so if you want the story or the characters or the worldbuidling, you have to be willing to weigh how much you personally can divorce What Happened After from what happened in the comic itself. and I just can’t do it because I was there as it happened, basically.

#homestuck / #homestuck 2 / #Anonymous

[excorcismic]

you ever have that one muse that’s just like . . . no matter how many characters you play , not matter how much time goes by , you will never get sick of writing that muse & they’re such a huge comfort character and mean the world to you ?? YES , that’s me with miss zelda here . i . . . love zelda ( the character and the series ) with every fiber of my being and after a lot of debate i finally decided i’d bring her here !! i’m doing leon’s intro next and will try to get to replies ( want to get down zel’s intro soon but i’d like to plot things first ) afterwards but pls pls pls here’s a detailed plotting call for my princess !! pls like / react if you’re interested - or let me know if we’re already plotting !!

IN A CANON NUTSHELL : so this zelda is the princess from the masterpiece known as breath of the wild - one hundred years before the events of the game , she was kind of the ‘leader’ of the champions , a group of people who were tasked to aid in protecting hyrule once calamity ganon rose again . link , who was also a champion , was assigned as her personal knight - in the beginning . . . she did not like him for the fact that he seemed to have everything under control and she didn’t . why ?? well , zelda , from birth , was told she had to unlock a power in herself that would potentially save hyrule from the calamity , and for some reason , no matter how hard she tried , she couldn’t do it . and she was mad at herself for feeling like a failure when she was put under an intense amount of pressure from her father & the prophecy - even called the heir to a throne of nothing because of how no results came from her ceaseless prayers . EVENTUALLY , her powers would reveal themselves . . . but only after the calamity arrived , all of the champions had been downed ( save for link , on the verge of death ) , and all seemed lost . but she would use her power to protect hyrule & keep the calamity contained inside hyrule castle until link would awaken and finish him off .

IN AN ALUCARD NUTSHELL : so zelda . daughter of a preacher ( father ) & a lawyer ( mother , now deceased ) , always expected to be the picture perfect child hence why she never got much of a chance to have a break from endless studying & extra things . she’s always been a straight-a student , has done fencing since she was a child , trilingual in english spanish & mandarin chinese , now a star college student majoring in biology ( her own choice , because she loves science ) and minoring in law ( because her father wants her to be a lawyer like her mother & she uhh hates it ! ) she’s seen as ‘little miss perfect’ because she can do so much and never seems to do any wrong but zelda is uhhh sick of that and is actually now trying to rebel against her father and throw herself into trouble . since lowkey all of this shit is killing her and she wants to breathe freely . she’s trying to do what she wants to do hence why she’s majoring in bio instead of law , working at the local florist instead of taking a law internship , actually trying to pursue a social life outside of the people her dad approves of . that stuff . she’s basically a genius who wants to say ‘fuck u’ to the people telling her what to do and go on her own path and i think that’s sexy .

BUT OHHHHHHHHHH YOU WANNA PLOT WITH ZELDA SO BAD OHHHHHHH

so zelda . given her situation ?? there is so much to work with . lemme spout off these ideas bc i’m so fucking excited .

firstly - people who know about her little miss perfect reputation and either dislike her or are intimidated by her for it . zelda isn’t a snob in the slightest but with someone who does as much as she does it’s only natural to assume she is . but she isn’t , i promise ; she hates that being her epithet .

kind of building off the idea of people knowing abt her whole ‘lmp’ thing - i’d love some folks who actually entertain zelda’s desires to break away from that and take her out to do rebellious shit or something like that !! because zelda wants to get the fuck out she hates it here .

some who encourage her and some who do the opposite - ‘you can do it, don’t be scared’ vs. ‘you really don’t belong here so go back to your books and pencils’

maybe ppl who hold zelda to some sort of pedestal bc of her reputation ?? which is equally as bad to her - she’s lowkey crumbling under all these expectations and she’s amazing but to be seen as someone . . . above other people , she doesn’t like that at all .

also those folks who in any grade of school rly have tried to exploit her need to get good grades & genius to their advantage aka if i pair up with the smart kid we’ll get an a guaranteed . can be anywhere - could’ve been in the past or could be now . 

CLASSMATES in general . from elementary , middle school , high school for the past , and now college classmates .

study buddies !! study buddies that zelda either vibes with immensely in terms of how she works or butts heads with them . her way of thinking is both incredibly organized but also all over the place . she can be either very easy or difficult to work with .

gimme some school rivals or equals aka ppl that zelda’s on par with in terms of intellect/grades and either they fucking hate each other or make a pretty good team . maybe both ! put the smart ppl in a room together and see what happens .

also want to clarify this can be on both the bio or law side for any of these college-based connections bc zelda is taking both she’s just . way more passionate about biology than she is law .

OLD FENCING TEAMMATES OR RIVALS PLEASE yes she is still fencing to this day and she’s awesome at it . she’s got a shitton of medals and she actually likes it but it’s another thing that was forced upon her since she was young .

her dad is a local preacher so by nature she’s always expected to be at church so ppl who know her as the preacher’s daughter/from church bc imma keep it real zelda ain’t that enthused abt that religion either but again . once again have to fill father’s expectations . one day tho she’s just gonna stop showing up .

i’d like maybe a social circle who zelda’s father approves of ?? like , friends who zelda has but they’re more so just bc that’s what mr. king wanted . i’d also like a partner/ex-partner to fit this description aka zelda’s not rly that into it or was into it bc it was again . kinda just ‘i’m just dating you bc my dad approves of you’ kinda deal and maybe she tried but overall . didn’t/doesn’t work .

i also , though , like the idea of a social circle who zelda’s father would never approve of and she hangs w/ them bc maybe she likes them or maybe she also just wants to prove a point . maybe she dated someone for this reason too - just the whole spectrum of ‘what dad wants vs. what dad wasn’t’ bc pissing off her dad is kind of a major goal at this point .

so maybe regular customers of the flower shop she works at - she just . zelda rly loves flowers & nature ( and again science as a whole , especially life science hence biology ) and she can go off on so many tangent about flowers please talk to her about flowers . maybe even bring her some flowers too jk unless

i’d rly find it awesome if zelda had some ppl who maybe liked her enough to follow her when she goes out just studying things and listen to her bc she loves to talk about her passions - she likes taking hikes and trips out into nature or the botanical gardens and stuff like that to do studies / experiments of her own . she likes museums , gardens , the outdoors - zelda loves knowledge and learning about things and if someone just kept her company while she did so that’d be awesome .

i’m a sucker for canon parallels with non-canon characters so . maybe a relationship that doesn’t rly have any specificity in what portion of zelda’s life ( school , father approved social circle , father disapproved social circle , night life etc etc ) but mirrors her relationship with link in breath of the wild - for whatever reason , zelda and this other character are around each other very frequently and the beginning for some reason she is very put off by it but then comes around and eventually this muse , they become extremely closer with her and important to her . in any way !! idk if it’s platonic or romantic but , in rps like this that’s lowkey my jam but it works the best with miss zelda

AS ALWAYS - friends ! enemies !  former crushes ! exes ! gimme anything and all !! the princess of hyrule is AT YOUR SERVICE and i’m so excited to write her . i love her .

and now . . . onto leon’s intro i hopefully go .

#dhq.plots #░ ★ abt . ❛ ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ ᴇᴄʜᴏᴇs ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ ʙʀᴇᴀᴛʜᴇ﹐ ·ᴛɪʟ ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ sᴇᴇ ɪs ᴍʏ ɢʜᴏsᴛ / zelda #parental death mention

[mysteryofren]

The first order

part 11 of So Happy Together

part 10:https://mysteryofren.tumblr.com/post/615689535312035840/you-will-never-forget

   When Elaine arrived that night you didn't tell her about what had happened. You figured you would til the group was together to talk about it. When the morning came you went to the administration office to drop your papers in Windus mailbox. You figured his office hours started at 10, and getting them in before Monday would look good. While there you ran into Luke. He smiled when he saw you and walked over. 

“Hello Y/N good to see you. How have you been lately?” he looked at you with bright eyes. 

“I'm good, just going through some stuff.” you replied, sliding the papers into the mailbox. 

“Ahh that explains the skipping on Tuesday I suppose?” shit. He knew. 

“Yes sir. I'm so sorry. It won't ever happen again. I was just having a very rough day. Have you told my grandfather?” you felt your stomach drop at the thought of your grandfather knowing of your misconduct. 

“I have. Your parents didn't answer our call and he's your next emergency contact. What happened? You're a good student, and a great girl. You've never pulled anything like this, and you're the last person I would have expected to do so.”

“I'm just going through the regular stuff that all teenagers do sir. I promise it truly won't ever happen again. It was a lapse in judgement and I made the wrong choice.” you felt like dying. You felt like you disappointed him. 

“You're lucky I like you, and that you're Ben’s friend. I already persuaded the teachers to excuse it. Next time they may not be as forgiving.” you tried not to make a face at the sound of his name.

“I really appreciate it sir. Although i have to ask you not to give me special treatment due to me being friends with Matt.” 

“Matt? I didn't know you were friends with him. I thought you and Ben were friends.”  great you gave it away.

“Ben has been acting very odd lately. He's made the decision to not be my friend. I've always known Matt, but we only recently started getting close.” he gave you a look before excusing himself to go to his office. You left going back to your dorm. On your way back of course you saw Ben walking hand and hand with Rey. you turned away focusing ahead of you. The day passed by and finally it was time to get ready. Phasma came to your dorm to get ready as well to get some girl time in. you all jammed out to 80s music to get in the mood. Elaine had worn a cyndi lauper inspired outfit, Phasma had gone for the aerobics instructor look. You had gone for a cher look. You wore light jeans with a mesh top and black bra. It all came together with the leather jacket you had on. Finally it was time to go, and you went into the parking lot to meet the boys. Both boys had worn Michael Jackson costumes. It was cute. You all piled into your car and drove to town.

 You had only been roller skating a few times. When Phasma suggested it you were pretty surprised. Turns out she just really loves the 80s and it's the only reason she suggested you go. Luckily everyone was down for it. You were pretty okay at it. You could skate and not fall, that was the extent of it. When you walked in it was like a sea of neon, and big hair. Everyone was dressed up so well and for a second it actually felt like the 80s. You had all just gotten your skates when you decided to take a group photo. Phasma grabbed her phone and held it out far making sure to get everyone. She sent it to the group chat so you all could save it when Hux spoke up. 

“We need a group chat name, we can't just go by the group forever. We need order.” you all laughed at his suggestion. Really? A group name?

“He’s right, we're pretty chaotic. A group name would be the first step to having order in the group,” 

“How about the first order?” Phasma said absent-mindedly while everyone laced up their skates.

 Almost at the same time you all stopped and looked at her. She was a genius. 

“The first order.” you all whispered. 

“Phas, my friend, you are quite the genius.” Hux had said to her as he changed the group chat name. 

“The first order makes us sound so badass!” Matt said. You all talked about your new name, and eventually a familiar note had played. Girls just wanna have fun blasted on the speakers and you all excitedly hurried to the skate floor. You were about to go off when you noticed Hux lagging behind. 

“I forgot you've never done this.” you slowly skated up to him. He was struggling but you could tell he really was trying. You held your hand out to him and helped him get his balance. Slowly you led him into a skate. You could see the fear in his eyes. 

“Don't worry dude. If you go down I go down. It'll be alright.” you held his hand for his first few laps on the skate floor. Phasma took photos on her phone as she went by. You noticed Matt and Elaine skating side by side. Eventually Hux felt confident enough that he let go of you, and soon you all were speeding by each other. You guys skated for an hour before deciding to go play in the arcade. You guys danced and played games as Queen played. 

  You had felt so carefree that you never even noticed Rey and Ben walk in. you had forgotten about Ben for a moment. You had been so caught up in the night that the memory of the night before was far back in your head. It wasn't until you noticed everyone had stopped playing to look that you had looked too. There they were. Rey and her friends decided to come too. She held Ben's hand, looking taller in the skates. You felt sad again. Like all the progress you made had been set back again. That's when you remembered what had happened, 

“He came by the dorm last night.”  you said quietly as if you were scared he would hear you.

“What?” you heard them all say. They all went towards the seating area. Elaine and Matt went to order a few slices of pizzas while you sat with Hux, and Phasma. Watching Rey and Ben hold each other. This shit hurts. When Elaine and Matt returned you guys talked about what had happened when he came to the dorm. After that they asked questions and eventually you guys jumped to another topic. Soon the dj announced it was a couples skate. Surprisingly Matt asked Elaine to skate with him and she obliged. Phasma had gone to play more games and it left you and Hux. 

“Come on we're going to skate.” he stood up and grabbed your hand. 

“What? Why?” you asked following him.

“You didn't leave me alone when we got here, and i'll be damned if we don't make that idiot think you're already moved on.” you smiled as he wrapped his arm around you. Of course the DJ had chosen ‘i wanna know what love is’. You and hux skated and he made sure you two were close. You glanced at where Ben was. He was watching you and Hux. you guys talked and laughed while skating. The second time you looked you saw Rey trying to get him to skate with her, and he was refusing. Eventually the song stopped.

You and Hux kept skating, but instead of him holding you, he held your hand. You guys eventually got off the skate floor and he informed you that Ben had in fact still been staring daggers at the two of you. 

“You really wanna sell it?” you asked him.  He nodded. You leaned into him and kissed him. He tensed up at first, then he relaxed, and put his hands on your waist before pulling away. 

“There's a lot of things I have to say about that.” he said before you both skated back to the table. Matt, phas, and El had all seen you two. You both sat and they automatically questioned you two both of you brushing it off. You all had a stupid debate about a cartoon to pass some time. Eventually Rey had come up to the table. Her skates were off so you could tell she was leaving. 

“Hello cousin,” she said condescendingly, “I see you're out with your Friends.” 

“Can we help you Rey?” you asked her with clear annoyance in your voice. 

“I couldn't help but notice you and the scrawny redhead making out on the floor. Tell me when did you start hooking up with every man you meet?” 

“Whoah whoah whoah.” Matt and El had stood up, looking ready to fight.

“I'm not sure what you mean Rey.” 

“Oh please. I know you whored around with my boyfriend, you practically announced it to half the school when you yelled at him in the dorm area.”

 At that point nobody knew how to respond. Was she serious?

“Rey, I know it's hard for your brain to tell the difference, but I didn't do anything with Ben but kiss him. Even then he kissed me. Which by the looks of it is more than what he does with you.”

“Listen here you backwoods piece of shit,”she hissed, as Matt took his chance to speak up.

“No you listen. Just because you're dating my brother doesn't mean I'll be easy on you. You need to face the facts that she came first. Not you. She met him first. He kissed her first. He even told me when they met that he liked her, so you need to shut up and leave before you get told more sensitive information about your boyfriend.” you were all stunned. Where did that come from? It was almost explosive. Ben shoved Rey behind him and got in Matt's face. Matt now towered over him in the skates, and Ben had to look up.

“You don't talk to my girlfriend like that. Watch what you fucking say.” Ben whispered. girlfriend . hearing him call her that actually hurt.

“Then I suggest you get her ass out of here, or help her learn how to respect people, because i refuse to let her talk to my friends like that.”

 They stared at each other for a while before Ben grabbed Rey's hand, almost dragging her off. El and Matt took their seats again once they saw they had walked out the door. You all stared at Matt like he was a god. 

“What? Just because I'm shy doesn't mean I won't throw down. I grew up in a house with him. I know all his cheap tactics.”

“That was actually kind of hot.” Elaine said looking at him. He blushed violently and started stuttering. Once you all calmed down you figured it was time to leave. You all piled back in the car, and drove back to the school. You dropped the boys off then Phasma and El asked if they could go to your Grandfathers with you. you parked and let them run to their dorms to pack a bag. When they came back you drove to his house excited to have girl time again. On the way home you talked about the night. You had talked about everything from the fact that Matt could skate backwards to the look on reys face when Ben dragged her out of the building. 

 Once you pulled up to you noticed your grandfather's car wasn't in the driveway. He must've worked late at the office, and decided to stay at his condo instead of making the drive back. No worries you had a key and knew the alarm code. You got out of the car and went to open the door while the girls got their bags out. You automatically were greeted by gideon and you gave him a quick pet before shutting off the alarm. Once it was shut down and the girls were inside you guys continue your conversation. What interested you most was what El had said about Matt. had she really thought him blowing up was hot? Also how weird would it be if she ended up with him while you were trying to get over his brother?

“So what did you guys think about Matt going off of Ben?”

“I thought it was unexpected, El dont answer we all know how you felt about it.” you and Phas laughed as you took off your makeup and she ripped her leg warmers off.

“Oh ha ha c'mon guys i was just teasing him,”

“Teasing or flirting?” you said looking at her through the mirror in your room.

“Can I be doing both?”

“Oh come on! Just admit you have a crush on him!” Phas chimed in.

 “Okay i do, i've always thought he was cute in like a dorky way, but he is really funny and sweet.”

You were shocked she admitted to it. “Then why not go out with him? You already know he likes you.”

“Yeah, but you know me, I'm way too into my schooling to focus on dating. I have my clubs, track, on top of that I have all advanced classes.”

 You and Phasma rolled your eyes at her knowing she wants to be with him. You all finished getting ready for bed and headed to your room. Sadly your bed was only big enough for two and there were three of you. When you offered to sleep on the air mattress your grandfather had Phas threw a fit and insisted she slept on the air mattress. After the sleeping situation was sorted out you guys talked and talked until eventually drifting off.

#armitage hux #rey #captain phasma #oc #teen!ben solo #ben solo #ben solo series #ben solo fanfiction #ben solo x reader #teen!reader #star wars x reader #bensoloxreader #reader insert #kenobi!reader #star wars tfa #star wars au #star wars fanfiction #star wars tros #star wars

[that-shamrock-vibe]

Disney+ What To Watch: My Top 10 Favourite Modern-Day Disney Classics

#1. The Emperor’s New Groove

I absolutely and completely fell in love with this movie the first time I saw it. Not only is the movie’s comedy on point but the animation styling, the story and the emotion that develops throughout this movie, for me, is exceptional.

Now it is fair to say that my #1 and #2 favourites involve the main protagonists being indirectly turned into into animals by the movie’s main villains and the story that follows is a buddy movie about self-discovery. But while The Princess and the Frog is a developing love story, The Emperor’s New Groove is a cautionary tale about the pitfalls about power, how it can corrupt and to appreciate the little and simple things about life.

In a way, The Princess and the Frog and Lilo & Stitch are also about that as the former sees the the main protagonists learn to open themselves up emotionally and the latter is about the meaning of family but this movie combines with it a fun family adventure, some rather high-intense sequences, brilliant comedic scenes, one or two fantastic meta-reference moments and every main and supporting character fills their roles perfectly.

Not only are the characters fantastic, but this movie makes me enjoy both David Spade and Patrick Warburton, I don’t really dislike Warburton but I really dislike David Spade unless his voice is coming out of an animated llama.

The plot, despite being slightly derivative of a standard buddy adventure comedy, somehow makes itself quite unique in the sense of not only the prince cursed to be a llama learning to be human but also the very hands on interference from the villains.

Speaking of the villains, despite being a movie about Emperor Kuzco learning a sense of humanity while he is effectively exiled from his throne, this movie’s two main best features are Yzma and her minion Kronk.

There are very few actors that I say are born for roles and certainly fewer that I say are born for multiple roles, but Eartha Kitt was born to be Yzma just as she was born to be Catwoman. It’s no surprise that these are her two most recognisable roles.in mainstream fandom.

I cannot say enough great things about this character, she is, for me, the best Disney Villain since Cruella De Vil because she is unapologetically ambitious, knows what she wants and will stop at nothing to to achieve it.

Her design is cartoon enough to not seem real but at the same time you want to meet this woman in real life, if that makes sense. She is such an interesting character that you want to meet her, you want to interview her, you want to find out about her history and what got her to this point in her life.

But she is also hilarious and fearsome at the same time. She is a fully-realised three-dimensional character and not just this movie’s typical baddie. This is captured not only in the character design but particularly in Eartha Kitt’s performance. I love her almost as much as I love Cruella and her becoming a cat at the end was the icing on the cake of a fabulous performance for me.

Kronk meanwhile is what I deem to be a villain by circumstance, to the point where I actually believe he is slightly oblivious to exactly what side he has found himself on working for Yzma. This is because, maybe save for Pacha, he is the gentlest and most naive character in the village. That’s not necessarily a bad thing and it is a great moment when he finds his place in the world separate to Yzma and isn’t persecuted for his past because officially he hasn’t actually done anything villainous save for attempted regicide.

However, the great thing about this movie, and Kuzco being something of an anti-hero, is I don’t believe anyone in the kingdom would prosecute 

As for Kuzco, he definitely showed some growth throughout this movie. He may not be the nicest individual but he does learn a lesson in humility and also friendship through his friendship with Pacha and the karma he receives through his actions reverberating on the giant target Yzma paints on his back.

This movie is also very quotable, this may not be the most well-known movie but chances are you will recognise a quote or two that were coined in the playgrounds if you attended school in the early 2000s. From Kuzco’s catchphrases such as “No touchy”, “Llama Face” and his “a-ha” victory chant, it’s fair to say that non-fans are at least familiar with one of them.

But also, let’s be honest, the best moment of this movie is Yzma’s iconic “Pull the lever Kront, wrong lever!”. Not only was this instant comedy gold but continued to be a staple in the franchise as the spin-off series The Emperor’s New School utilised many versions of this scene throughout the series.

Kuzco is also a fourth wall joke away from be the Disney Animated version of Deadpool, not only does he break the fourth wall numerous times in the first half of the movie, but also you can tell that if the movie was higher than a family friendly rating, he would not be so family friendly which is fantastic with the potential being there but not needing to be exposed.

Also, the movie is set in Peru. I think Up  and The Three Caballeros are the only other movies in Disney history to actually feature any South American locales and not just the design in architecture but the fact that Pacha’s village is authentic to South American culture being a llama herding and produce village is very productive for an animated movie. It creates teachable moments without jamming it down your throats.

That being said, it would have been nice to have some Peruvian or South American representation in the voice casting, because despite the talents of Eartha Kitt and Wendie Malick, the rest is principally a white in a strictly Peruvian setting.

Musically there are just three words...Tom freakin Jones. Not only is his music the theme song for this movie but he is the only “theme song guy” to become animated as the theme song guy. He is in this movie less than Bucky the Squirrel yet I love him just as much.

Also there is a fantastic song that was left on the cutting room floor sang by Eartha Kitt “Snuff Out the Light”. Not only do I feel that if this song were included it may have made it a slightly different movie but also I would say that non-canonically it is one of the better Disney Villain songs if nothing else but for Eartha’s powerhouse performance.

This movie, like One Hundred and One Dalmatians is a movie where I can honestly say that, for me, there is not a bad moment in this movie, there are no slow parts, there aren’t any unnecessary parts, the slightly wacky or convoluted moments add to the genius that this movie encapsulates.

I can remember seeing this movie with my mum and sister and loving it, I remember playing the PlayStation game and loving it, Outside of Disney compilation soundtracks, this was also the movie soundtrack I ever owned and it is because of Tom Jones and Eartha Kitt’s performances...there’s just nothing bad I can say about this movie.

So what do you guys think? Post your comments and check out more Disney+ What to Watch Top 10s as well as more Top 10 Lists and other posts.

#disney+ #disney plus #disney+ what to watch top 10s #disney+ what to watch #my top 10 favourite modern day disney animated movies #my top 10 favourite modern day disney classics #the emperor's new groove #eartha kitt #yzma and kronk #yzma #david spade #john goodman #patrick warburton #walt disney animation studios

[lazyspeedster93]

Shadow Misadventure, Ep. 4: Shopping Sprain

(Any and all real-life intellectual properties, including Sonic, belong to their respective owners)

(In front of Rouge and Tails' houses)

Sonic: Mornin', neighbor!

Rouge: Good morning, Sonic! Good morning, Tails.

Tails: Uh...morning. (6 6)"

Rouge: Ahem, I think Omega has something he wanted to say.

Sonic: What a coincidence; Tails wanted to tell you something, too.

Rouge: Omega...

Omega: I am sorry for what I said the other day. I behaved very childishly and insensitive. Your admiration for your friend their does make you any less or more of a genius, likewise for myself with Shadow.

Tails: I'm sorry, too. I went out of line, I said some things I shouldn't have; I hope we can still be friends.

Omega: Acknowledged. (Shakes Tails' hand)

Sonic: Aww, that's nice. 😊 I hope this means we can hang out again soon, Shaddy!

Shadow: I'm choosing to ignore you. We should probably get going, Rouge!

Sonic: Where are you going?

Rouge: Oh, I was just taking the boys shopping at the mall.

Amy: (Suddenly appears): The mall? Can we come?

Rouge: If your friends help with the bags, sure! ❤

Sonic and Tails: Say what now?

Shadow: You heard the lady. You're going to carry their bags, just like Omega and I do every Monday.

Tails: That doesn't quite explain why Sonic and I have to come do it.

Rouge: Because there's two of us shopping. We're going to need the assistance we can get. :P

Sonic: I don't think I'd like that.

Shadow: (Eyes shooting daggers): You will suffer as I do.

Sonic: Uh...😥

Amy: Don't be such a baby, Sonic. It's just carrying bags. Tell you what, if you do a good job, I'll make you those cupcakes you like.

Sonic: Really? 😍

Amy: Really, really! ❤

Sonic: Yay! I'll do it!

Amy: Hey, Shadow! Come over here!

Shadow: What is it?

Amy: (Whispering): After Rouge and I finish our share of the shopping, if I could convince her to let me borrow you for a bit, I want to take you somewhere; just the two of us.

Shadow: (Eyes dart from side to side)...Why?

Amy: Don't tell the others, but I want to take you to game shop with me.

Shadow: That's all? Why are being so secretive about that?

Amy: Normally, I'd take Tails, but you remember what happened at Spring Burger. I banned him from video games for a week for that.

Shadow: Really? Okay, I suppose I could come along.

Amy: Yes!

Rouge: Are you done over there? We gotta beat the sales rush!

Shadow: We're coming!

(One hour later, at the Westopolis Shopping Mall)

Tails: (Vision obscured by shoe boxes): I could use a little help.

Sonic: I would if I could, buddy, but my hands are pretty full. Also, the rest of my arms, shoulders, waist, and my aching back!

Omega: MALFUNCTION. EXCEEDING LOAD WEIGHT LIMIT. HYDRAULICS JAMMING.

Shadow: (Heavy breathing) Whoever came up with the idea of "fashion trends" should've been put in prison!

Rouge: Alright, boys, just set everything down right here for now.

Shadow, Omega, Sonic, and Tails: (Drops packages, boxes, and bags down next to a bench as neatly but quickly as they could, sighing loudly and collapsing)

Amy: You guys want anything to drink? I can give you change for drinks from that vending machine over there.

Sonic: (Exhausted): Please. (Gets change) What do ya wanna drink, Shaddy?

Shadow: Nothing unless it's your blood in a cocktail.

Sonic: So, you don't want any? (Shadow glares) I'll be right back.

Rouge: Anyway, Shadow, I still don't know why you didn't want me to get Amy pieces like mine.

Shadow: The same reason I hate fakes of me. You're a marvelous specimen, sweetheart. We don't need a hundred cheap Rouge knock-offs running around. No offence, Amy.

Amy: None taken. I think. Anywho, when he can move again, could I take him somewhere for a minute?

Rouge: What for?

Amy: Well, uh...

Shadow: Uh, FLOWERS! She's seen our garden and wanted me to help pick flowers for hers(?)

Rouge: Oh! Well, you did plant a lovely garden for our house, sugar. ❤ Alright, you can borrow him.

Amy: Thank you! Ready to go, Shadow?

Shadow: (Struggling up, cracking back) Yeah, I'm good. Let's go.

So, did you really ban Prower from video games? I would've thought he had the authority in that house since he paid for it and all.

Amy: Oh, we Sonic Heroes are all equals. That means we're all equally responsible for each other, and in this case, I had to put on the mom pants with Tails.

Shadow: Heh! I would think you'd say the same thing he did in defence of the faker.

Amy: Maybe. But, as smart as Tails is, he's still a little boy. As his senior, I gotta set a good example. Anyway, we're here!

So, what were you planning on getting, Shadow?

Shadow: Nothing in particular. I mostly wanted a break from carrying clothes.

Amy: Well, I needed to finally get the new Pokémon. So, what should it be: Sword or Shield?

Shadow: I can't help you there. I don't really play Pokémon.

Amy: Whaaat?

Shadow: I'm just not really interested. I don't really do pets, let alone virtual pet games.

Amy: Maybe you'd like Fire Emblem? The newest game is about training a school for soldiers. You like doing that for G.U.N., right?

Shadow: Fire Emblem seems like one of those busy games, and I'm busy in real life. Maybe I'll just put money on No More Heroes 3.

Amy: Ooh! I better make a mental note to get that one.

Dave: Hello, are you ready to check--Oh, no.

Shadow: Hey, aren't you that kid that works at Spring Burger?

Dave: Yes, and you're friends with the big robot that got in an argument with an 11-year-old over you.

Shadow: (Glaring): Are you trying to say something about me?

Dave: (Scared): No, sir. Did you fine folks find everything okay?

Amy: Yep. I'd like a new copy of Pokémon Sword, and my friend here wanted to preorder a game.

Dave: Are you two purchasing separately or is this all one transaction?

Shadow: I'll be using my own money for my preorder.

Dave: (Beep!) There you go, Ma'am. And what was the game you wanted to reserve, sir?

Shadow: (Holds out 10 ring banknote): I'm putting ten rings down in No More Heroes 3.

Dave: (Nervously): Ah, of course. (Completes transaction, hands over receipt) You're all set. Have a good day.

Amy: Let's go, Shadow! Everyone's probably ready to go home.

Shadow: I'm coming!

Amy: Quick question. What was that about you planting a garden. I have seen it in your lawn, and it is very nice. It's just--and don't take this the wrong way--I never would've guess that was your doing.

Shadow: (Reluctant): It's just something I did for Rouge's birthday last year. That's all.

Amy: Aww, Shadow, that's so nice of you!

Tails: Hey, guys! Where are the flowers?

Shadow: Well, it's already done, so there's no need to keep quiet about it; Amy and I actually went to the game shop.

Tails: Aw, man! Really?

Amy: You can come next time. You're not allowed to play games again yet, Tails.

Tails: But we're fine, now. We were just talking about aerodynamics.

Omega: Miles has learned a lot from being a pilot.

Rouge: Well, this has been fun, but it's about time we go home. Shadow, if you please.

Shadow: Chaos Control! (Teleports everyone and all their stuff back to their houses)

Tails: Alright, if there isn't anything else you need us to do for you, I think we'll be on our way. Right, Sonic?

Sonic: Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely. You all have good--

Shadow: (Grabbing Sonic and Tails' shoulders, emanating an aura of doom): As a matter of fact, if you could help us take Rouge's bags all the way up to her room, that would be great.

Sonic: Uh...okay. I'll just ask Amy to give us a hand--

Tails: Sonic? She already went inside the house.

Shadow: Oh, right! Her bags are still out here, too. You can bring those in yourself after your finished with Rouge's.

Sonic and Tails: ...Crap.

#shadow misadventure #shadow the hedgehog #rouge the bat #e123 omega #team dark #sonic the hedgehog #miles tails prower #amy rose #comedy #text comedy #parody

[dominicvail]

in another world, ncis:la feeds us with actual Au episodes every now and again, but our world is imperfect and we just have to imagine this stuff here, but like, if this did happen i would Require these au’s;

A Bowling Au. Everything is played with exactly the same tone as the actual show, so it’s usually laughable but Sometimes super dramatic except instead of like, a terrorist attack, a rival team bowled a strike. Sam used to be on a super militant and well respected team and hasn’t gotten over that half the time people don’t know the name of this new one. He believes bowling balls should be polished before repacking, Every time, that Deeks just shoves his in the same reusable plastic bag he’s had for 8 years Pains him. G’s back story is Identical to the show except this isn’t a spy genre anymore so ppl just think he’s like, the super above it all edge lord because of it all. 

Teacher AU. Sam teaches all kinds of advanced math, G is a gym teacher who acts really stupid all the time to stop people giving him responsibilities he doesn’t want. Despite this, he is often dragged in to cover for language classes because somebody figured out he’s a language like, genius or something. He covered a drama class one time, too, and was scarily good at it. Deeks actually Is the drama teacher, the kids all Love him. Kensi teaches all kinds of physical design classes, like, anything to do with engines, she does woodwork, things like that, she’s not As liked among the student body (i mean, the boys and gays love her, but her jokes are Weird) but she isn’t classed as one of the asshole teachers. Eric teaches IT or whatever u call computing, he’s friendly, won’t put up with crap, but like, next to nobody understands him because he’s not good at dumbing things down. Nell doesn’t teach at first, was just an administrator dealing with all the complicated things, but sometimes substitutes, she’s tiny and Scary and is not a substitute u can walk all over, the ones who tried can’t figure out How she got them to behave??? but it happened. Mr Deeks and Ms Blye are the ‘will they or won’t they’ teacher couple of the school only for deeks to accidentally let slip that his wife is better at long distance running than he is and they all work it out that they’ve been married the whole time. Mr Beale and Miss Jones become the next will they won’t they couple except it embarrasses them so much all they do is blush at each other now. Hetty is the principal/head teacher. She is rarely seen, to be feared, but always watching. 

Star Trek AU; Hetty is the captain of the ship they’re on, but the show is more about the main away team. Is the team’s reputation as bad as section 31 (the shady(tm) part of starfleet), No! Is their reputation necessarily good? No. In fact, they frequently butt heads with section 31 (we’re calling them the equivalent of the cia in the show, they can be friends but... yeah), however their results are rarely questionable and they save many, many lives. It is highly unlikely anyone will ever be promoted. Sam is a Vulcan, calm waters... except if you make him snap, Vulcans have deep running emotions. Deeks is just. The Most Obnoxious Human to him Ever. G is half betazed, it’s why he’s so good at reading people.  Eric is a member of a species that is super social but have few social graces similar to humans so is always super awkward. Kensi has a tragic backstory where she thinks the borg got her dad when she was a kid but it was a Cover Up. I would make Nell non human also, but i will be honest, i am running out of trek aliens i can make her (klingon nell is a Hilarious concept tho). Hetty is Bajoran. 

James Bond AU. Everything is the same except they all use bad english accents the whole way through the episode. 

I am a massive fan of alternate takes on soulmate au’s, i don’t like romantic soulmate au’s, but unusual takes on them are my Jam. In this one, people have soul marks from people who will have the most profound effects on them in their lives on their bodies. This doesn’t necessarily mean the effects will be good, just profound and altering. The team realise they all have marks from each other on their bodies, and are elated to find out all those marks are Positive effects. 

Though i will admit the ‘see in colour when you meet your soulmate’ one would be hilarious with legitimately Any of the partners on the show. Kensi: See’s deeks, learns what blue is. Kensi: spirals into deep denial and yells at him a lot. 

Queer Eye AU where the Fab 5 are called in when Hetty nominates her team for a makeover! Bobby redecorates the boat shed, is asked by hetty to keep what is already bulletproof, bulletproof. And to keep the trap door. And not to worry about any bloodstains and how they got there. Tan’s discovers how hard it is to style around Sam’s muscles. Tries very hard to stop Nell from mixing prints. Experiences horror at Eric’s wardrobe, Nell is shown in BG laughing. Every single man exhibits true, actual horror at the idea of JVN changing their hair and pack into Sam’s car and run away to hide in the woods. Nell and Kensi enjoy the salon appointment in their absence. Karamo manages to negotiate getting paid literally twice his previous rate by just having to try to fix these idiots’ lives and deserves every penny. Antoni trying to teach them to make fun and not disgusting food doesn’t end well. Deeks can cook but likes to Experiment and 97% of his food is awful. Sam can cook, but it’s all bland muscle building/health food. The rest of them are incompetent, set the kitchen on fire, are caught ordering chinese on the sly, ruin 5 pots and pans with burn marks. They open the new boatshed design by interrogating a criminal they just picked up on a case, he points out how fabulous the decor is as he’s led to the interrogation room. Everybody cheers. The team provided snacks in said interrogation Could be considered a torture technique, tho. 

The team go on jeopardy. I have never seen this game show and have no idea how it works, but i bet it would be funny so it is a bullet point. 

Buffy the vampire slayer au, Kensi is a vampire slayer who Happens to just be an ncis agent. She does her normal job but also tries to keep the vampire world a secret from her team mates. Callen: uh, kensi... why do you spend so much of your free time hanging around cemeteries? Kensi: uh... Bat watching???

Superhero AU but they all have really dumb powers. Sam can raise the temperature of any body of water from a lake to a puddle by ten degrees in temperature whenever he wants. G can spontaneously grow and un-grow his hair, if he gets drunk and makes it super long he has ringlets. Deeks can hover exactly one foot in the air, no higher, is designated ‘grab that off the high shelf’ guy. Kensi can sense sugar. This helps in no ways but essentially makes her a human version of one of the medical alert dogs for diabetics. Eric can make anybody around him mildly sleepy if he wants to. He never wants this. It doesn’t even send them to sleep, they just yawn more often and that makes Him yawn more. Nell can speak to cows, since she lives in the middle of Los Angeles, this is not helpful. Plus, cows mostly just talk about grass and are really very boring. Granger could create rainbows out of thin air which was obviously in perfect sync with his personality. Hetty can detach her toes at will. This is only useful in the case of uncomfortable shoes, but can be awkward if somebody routinely searches your bag and finds them in there and arrests you for being a creepy toe cutting off serial killer. 

i would watch it, s’all i’m saying.

#text #la team #la cast #this is the most epic feat of procrastination i've managed for a while ngl