#and the fact that she's afraid to lose him T_T
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“wish you were sober”
Pairing: Leon Kennedy x Ada Wong
Description: Just read this piece of words while listening to “Wish you were sober” by Conan Gray, trust me.
Note: LeonAda but make it painful (like they always have been) English is not my first language and I wrote this in like 10 minutes so please dont mind me if there is any grammar error T_T
̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊☆.｡.:* .｡.:*☆.・。.・゜
“Leon, come on, dont be such a bitch.”
As Ada saying, she was leaning on the bar with the 5fth shot of tequila in her hand. She looks at the young man in front, slowly sipping the margarita he called. He slipping it slowly, maybe for build up a cool man figure, or just simply because he hates the taste of it. But he does not think the girl beside him right now is afraid of anything ever.
Ada is the girl he ever dream for. She only exist in his wildest dream, like the prettiest star on the sky that he can not touch, only able to adore from afar. And he does not think of a future with both them in it. He can be the Sun, and Ada is the Moon. So close, yet so far. So familiar, yet too damn strange. It feels like a fever dream. Burning him from the inside out.
“What is it? Too stunned staring at my new ripped jeans?” - Ada said, notice Leon being a little zoned out.
“Cut it off Ada”
She let out a soft chuckle. A tight tee with ripped jeans look too great to be true on her.
The party only go wilder and wilder, and so does Ada. She let herself completely blend into the crowd. Something Leon can never exprerience once in his life, and maybe ever. He hates loud noises. The concept of jumping and dancing and screaming like a maniac in between hundreds of stranger give him a sort of extremely uneasy feelings. Nevertheless the fact that is, why the hell is he here, at a party? I guess we all know.
“You dont even know him enough to trade drinks Ada, thats crazy!”
“What? Thats how party work idiot!” - Ada mumbling at Leon as he trying to get her inside the car.
Leon feels like she can pass out right at that moment. He sighed, thinking to himself “Story of my life..” when slowly starting the car to drive her home.
Suddenly, Ada touch Leon hand softly. But tighter than ever she has been touched his hands. Leon look back at her. With the eyes of mixed feelings. Some surprise, some curiousity, some hard emotions he can not name. He feel his throat dried up a little bit.
When Ada lean in to bring him into a kiss.
A slight kiss. Their lips only touch for a matter of second before it breaks to nothingness again. Leon was in shock. He can not deny he was leaning closer, please for the moment to never end. He was trying to stay with it for a little bit longer, even for just one second or two. But it fades away. Just as fast as how it comes.
Ada looks at him. She looks sober, yet drunk more than ever. With a genuine look in her eyes. She hold his hand tightly, as if she let it go, she will lose him to the dark forever. Moreover, he will lose her. And Ada close her eyes. Let herself escape from the situation she just got herself in. Left Leon with thousands of questions that he might never get a proper answer.
He smile. Bitterly. It feels like a fate they can not get away with. She feels like a curse in his mind. That he can not, or even wants to, get rid of. Ada is like a drug, a cigarette, a cup of tequila, or all the toxic but addictive chemical on this world he can list out. Clearly, so obviously, he knows how much it hurts. He just can not let her go. As if she is a part of him. A part of his soul. A part of his life.
A part of his destiny.
“Real sweet, but i wish you were sober.”
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one year of captain swan: 182/365
#captain swan#cs graphic#cs edit#emmaswanedit#hookedit#ouatedit#365 days of cs#mygifs#4x03#that look of reassurance in the last gif#and the fact that she's afraid to lose him T_T#season 4 was so goooood
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A/N: For the FF15 Changing Fate Zine! I wanted to change Nyx + Crowe's fate, but alas, we could had to do minimal changes. T_T
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There were very, very few times that Libertus found Insomnia beautiful. It was a cluttered city, crammed to the brim with people and buildings. Day or night, there was a constant stream of sound, of angry horns and high-pitched laughter. For all that Insomnia was alive, it was never quiet, not in the way that Galahd was. There were no slow-running streams here, no frogs to serenade him to sleep. At home, the only lights at night were the moon and fireflies.
Still, it was safe here. Libertus had learned long ago that there were few things people wouldn’t trade for a peace of mind. As piss-poor as the food here was, he could get used to it. As much as the guards cussed him, it was a better fate than death. And for all of his homesickness, he had his best friend and a little sister of sorts here.
“Libertus, get your slow ass up here already!” Crowe yelled from above.
Libertus frowned, staring at his plate. Well, she certainly was like a little sister, all right. Sometimes he wondered if she loved him at all, or just loved insulting him. Before she could yell at him again, he shouted back, “Hold your horses, I’m coming!”
“Bring a drink while you’re at it,” Nyx called out.
It was bad enough the locals treated him like a servant, he didn’t need his friends doing the same. Libertus shot a dirty glare at the door leading to the roof. When he’d first gotten this flat, he’d thought he was lucky. If he’d realized how often Crowe and Nyx would eat dinner at his place, he’d have never signed the lease. Biting back an angry swear, he picked up two beers with his free hand and headed over to his friends.
As he stepped onto the roof, his eyes quickly adjusted to the darkness. Just ahead of him, perched on the edge of the roof, Nyx and Crowe chatted quietly. Their plates were beside them, forgotten, and Libertus wondered what they were talking about. Not another mission, he hoped—he never wanted to talk about the work outside of the job. As he approached them, Nyx looked over his shoulder. “I was starting to think you’d injured more than your leg.”
“Don’t be a smart ass.” Rolling his eyes, Libertus tossed the beer can. Infuriatingly, Nyx caught it with ease. “Make some room.”
“Didn’t realize you were so fat,” Crowe teased, shuffling to her left. Patting at the spot between her and Nyx, she smirked up at him. “All yours.”
“I’ll remember this the next time you’re injured.” With a groan, Libertus lowered himself. His plate wobbled precariously as he sank onto the roof. “Next time, we’re eating out.”
“Sure, I have to watch out for my elders.” Crowe dodged his half-hearted swipe, laughing.
“Leave the old man alone,” Nyx reprimanded. Whatever sternness he was aiming for was undermined by his laughter.
“We’re the same age!” Libertus smacked Nyx. “Anyways, what were you talking about?”
“Nothing, really.” Nyx shrugged, gesturing at the city sprawled out ahead of them. Hundreds of lights flickered on and off below them, various shops opening and closing as time passed. It looked almost like the fireflies at home. Almost. “For a city with shit food, it’s not half bad to look at.”
“You know, you keep saying shit food but never bother to cook actual Galahd food,” Crowe pointed out. “When are you two planning on enlightening me?”
“I guess you’re ready for some real food.” Libertus wasn’t a great cook, not by any stretch, but even a taste-blind amateur was better than the cooks here. “After you come back from your next mission, okay?”
“I’ll make sure to get the healers ready,” Nyx added, unhelpfully. He laughed as Libertus swiped at him now.
Still, Libertus had to give him a begrudging point. The city was beautiful, if only for the fact that they could have nights like this.
-x-
There were very, very few times that Libertus found Insomnia beautiful. And now he would never think that again. Shell shocked, he stood at the gates to the city and watched as his new home burned to the ground. It had been unbelievable when he’d raced through the darkness, guiding Nyx and Luna across the collapsing terrain. It was even more unbelievable now as the sun rose, revealing just how much the empire had destroyed the city. How much hehad destroyed the city—unintentionally or not, he had lent his hand to this invasion.
God, he’d been stupid, thinking that for one minute the empire would have freed Galahd. The only thing they wanted was to watch everything burn. The only thing they’d leave behind was rubble. As the sun rose, Libertus forced himself to stare at the city and witness exactly what he’d wrought. Demons disappeared as the sun hit them, the giant guardian statues shattered into a thousand fragments now that their duty was over.
“It’s over,” he muttered, half to himself.
“No, unfortunately it is not,” a quiet voice replied and Libertus snapped his head to find Luna standing next to him. He’d almost forgotten that she was still here, that there was at least one survivor in the city. She looked at him with tired eyes, exhaustion wearing her down to the bone. Dirt smudged her skin and it would be easy to think of her as another ragamuffin on the street and not the princess of a lost country. “This night might have ended, but there is a longer one ahead of us.”
“Oh.” What was he supposed to say in response to that? And what was that answer, anyways? Her words were so cryptic, he wasn’t even sure that Crowe could have deciphered them.
Libertus covered his mouth. Crowe was dead. In the rush of everything, he’d almost forgotten that he hadn’t just lost a city. Crowe was dead and Nyx—he took a step forward, already scanning the city. “I have to go get Nyx.”
A cool hand grabbed his, stopping him in his tracks. Looking over his shoulder, he watched as Luna shook her head. Her eyes were so big and sad he almost didn’t need to hear her speak to know what she was about to say. “I am afraid it’s too late.”
“How do you know?” he growled, yanking his hand free. Whirling around on her, he grabbed her shoulders. “What do you know?”
“Not enough,” she admitted, her voice cracking. Luna wasn’t looking at him, her gaze instead on the smouldering ruins behind him. “If only I could have prevented this. I wanted to save Nyx, to save the King, and instead all I managed to protect was this.” She held out her palm, revealing a small ring.
The king’s ring. He had seen what’d happened to Ravus. What must have happened to Nyx.
To the foolish, heroic Nyx.
“No…” Libertus uttered, staring at the ring.
“I am truly sorry.” She closed her eyes.
“No!” he cried, collapsing to his knees. His hands slid down her arms, fingers digging into her skin, but she didn’t cry out. “Nyx…he…”
Nyx was dead. Crowe was dead. Galahd was taken over and Insomnia destroyed. There were few things that Libertus could call his own and all of them were gone. Libertus wanted to cry. He wanted to yell. Losing his home had taught him a thing or two about loss but that didn’t make it any less of a gut punch.
“Please, take care of yourself. He would have wanted that.” Luna gently pried his hands loose, still giving him that sad smile.
What did you know about loss? he almost screamed, but even he’d heard of Tenebrae, of her mother’s death. The empire was cruel to everyone, whether they were princesses or the most common of folks.
Gravel crunched underfoot as she slowly walked toward the city’s gates. Whatever purpose had brought her to the city, she clearly hadn’t finished achieving it yet. Despite her kind words, her expression had been determined. Libertus had seen that expression on Nyx and Crowe a thousand times. She was a woman with a mission.
And he…he had none. He didn’t even have bodies to bury. All that he had was a wellspring of grief that threatened to bury him. Libertus forced it down, fighting back his tears. This wasn’t the time or place to mourn. He glanced behind him again, at the crumbling city. Should he go back to Galahd, hoping for the off-chance that Nyx might have pulled the impossible? Should he just disappear quietly, fading away like thousands before him must have?
Or a third choice. He turned back to Luna, to her slowly shrinking figure. Nyx had given his life to protect her. And while Libertus could care less about royalty, he didn’t want Nyx’s final act to go to waste. Didn’t want this night to have come to nothing. Crowe had died for this princess. Nyx had sacrificed himself for her.
The least Libertus could do was make sure she at least got to her destination in one piece. Scrambling to his feet, he jogged after her.
“Hey, Princess, wait up!”
And if he didn’t have to deal with his grief now, well, that made it all the better.
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Some of my analysis of Masahiro and Rina
Here are some of my thoughts about the scene that Masahiro brought Rina to Awami Shrine in manga(Chapter 28). But English is not my mother tongue and it's been years since last time I wrote paragraph in English, hope there won't be so many errors LOL. It's just my opinion, some of them maybe just my headcanon. And of course, who reads this may have already thought about it before and had more analyses of it. If you have any other idea, let me know please!! Ok, then just start it!!
This is one of the best and the most important Masahiro and Rina's scenes in manga. But when I first read it, I couldn't understand it well -- even now I cannot ensure that I analyzed all the true meanings of this scene. It bothered me so long "What were actually on their mind? What were they trying to say?" It seemed like they said nothing but they HAD SAID EVERYTHING?
Yes AWAMI Shrine!! Where Masahiro fell for Rina!! Yes!!
To begin with, about the shrine, we all remembered that Rina had been the Miko of the shrine and assisted a lot. She took it for granted because the shrine is about the mermaid, and she is the real mermaid. But the question is, why and who invited her to be the miko? Was there anyone who knew the true relationship between Rina and mermaid? Okay just keep the question in mind and go on.
And I believe this must be haunting all Masahiro and Rina shipper. DID HE ALREADY KNOW HER REAL IDENTITY!!!???
But before we discussed this, let's think about the question I mentioned before. There must be some connection between Rina and the shrine. But now we knew more-- Masahiro is also related to the shrine!!! Awami Shrine is bulit by Masahiro's ancestor!!! So it was not coincidence that he met Rina here!!
And go back to Masahiro's confessions again. Based on his words, he thought he might be the descendant of human and mermaid after he met Rina. Before this scene, he also pointed out that Rina had something hide from him last time they dated. Connecting the two scenes, I thought it implied quite apparently that Masahiro knew Rina had something to do with mermaid. It made no sense he knew nothing but abruptly talked about a fairytale about mermaid!! Also based on the fact that they were both related to Awami Shrine, Masahiro probably knew more truth about Rina and mermaid!! Or, something like intuition about her XDD Which is also mentioned in Pure ep37~
But when he tried to talk more, Rina just broke him off. Why did Rina become agitated? What would he say if he hadn't been interrupted? I thought he almost confessed his love for her. Although they went out many times before, they still not have a romantic relationship yet. Besides, he blamed her a little bit for not telling the truth before. But maybe after that, he found the answer by himself or realized that it didn't really matter. He still cherished her no matter who she was. That's why Rina had to stop him. She was not allowed to fall in love with a human. She even burst into tears for his words. REALLY HEARTBREAKING I can't endure this I hate the setting😭😭😭 She was afraid to build a deep relationship because her fear in leaving him one day. Her sorrow is also showed in Pure ep26&30. What's more, this chapter was before their final battle with Michel/Mikeru, she was anxious for that too. She might not be able to come back to him and fall in battle. Full of agony oh my god.
Besides, what was Rina trying to say here? After she heard the story about Masahiro's ancestors, what was in her mind? Did she realize that Masahiro had already found out her true identity? Because Masahiro only hinted that he knew mermaids exist. She might try to ignore the fact that they were from different world when they were together. When Masahiro spoke of mermaid, it reminded her of their dim future.
But Masahiro didn't be confused or frustrated by Rina's rejection. He just clasped her hand to comfort her by saying that he wouldn't say goodbye to her. Ooohhh my I always cry for their sincere love for each other QQQQ He must know Rina's despair so well. In the story about his ancestors, the man eventually parted from his beloved mermaid. Masahiro knew there might be a desperate separation between them in the future, but he was also DETERMINED TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING AT ALL COST. He won't let what happened to his ancestors repeat.
OOHHH THE HUG!!! LET'S CHERISH THE BREATHTAKING HUG!!! They are so precious I am always crying (T_T)
When it came to her feelings for him, she was so fragile. She should have pushed him away to keep her distance, but she didn't. Though Masahiro had made up his mind to never bid farewell to Rina, they still might be faced with hardship in the future. He was afraid of losing her too. So he said "Even for a moment, can we just stay like this?" And Rina realized that she was not the only one in pain. So she tenderly snuggled close to him.
On top of that, there's a little question about Rina's line here "One day I will come to you". The line in Chinese version I bought was more like "Though I don't know when I can come to you". The first time I read this I was like !!!??? NO WHY SO DIFFERENT FROM THE TRANSLATION I KNEW BEFORE!!!??? And I thought maybe that's because the original Japanese word used here was"いつか(itsuka)", which can be translated into either "when" or "one day". I am not expert in Japanese so I'm confused so hard here... It would mean quite opposite if adopted different translation… If anyone knows the Japanese original line please tell me what it is... That would be more decipherable LOL. But in my opinion, I thought it would be more reasonable to translate it into "when" here. In the same chapter, Nikora said to Hippo, “This may be their very last Christmas.” The upcoming battle with Mikeru would be so dangerous, and she could not come to him until they achieve victory.
Most importantly, Rina's reaction CONFIRMED MASAHIRO’S GUESS AS TURE. If she had nothing to do with mermaid, she wouldn't vacillate about his words. I thought it won't be long before he understands everything at first, but now I rather believe that Masahiro ALREADY KNOW ALL THE TRUTH here. He knew what was on Rina’s mind, and declared his resolution to never let her go.
This was the very first time they failed to restrain their affection for each other. The embrace was not so much sweet but bitter😢😢 They expressed their love for each other, but also embrace the agony of the love. They said nothing but they had SAID EVERYTHING. They knew each other so well ㅠㅠㅠㅠ
Here’s also little comparison between the anime and the manga. In the anime, Rina tried to part from Masahiro first, but they end up realizing that they can’t lose each other. Not until then did they truly share their mind. But in the manga, he just rejected the broke up even before Rina mentioned it LOL. Magnificent!! Masahiro is sssooo smart (//艸//)
This is my first time to write down my theory I am so exciting now (≧▽≦) I love them so much💚💚 I hope anyone who loves Masahiro and Rina too can see this and enjoy it!! And I admire Hanamori sensei so much!! In addition to the gorgeous art, she can tell a complete story and develop deep relationship of characters within number of pages.
Once again, welcome to ask me question or share me with your idea!! There are still some scenes I also think a lot. And other comparison between anime and manga I’d like to talk about. I will discuss them next time!! Thanks for your reading 🥳
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what pisses off the RFA, or what makes them go T_T ?
ohh its good ol' angst time i see
YOOSUNG:
* When it comes to fears, things that twist his heart like thorns on a rose, the one thing that comes to mind is death.
* His first true experience with death and loss was when he lost Rika, and we all saw how much that affected him; it got him thinking of what it's like to die, what comes next, it makes him wonder if he's lived a life worth living and when he realizes he has done nothing of what he wanted to he panics, cries even
* When it comes to anger, what upsets him like no other are lies, or having his kindness being mistaken for naivety. He's a cheerful guy, he's gentle and caring; but he's not an idiot, and you'd be a fool to treat him as such.
* When people take advantage of his kindness he'll show them a face they've never seen before-long gone is sweet happy Yoosung and in his place comes a menace, his gaze ice cold and his words dripping venom.
ZEN:
* He likes to play at being a 'macho man', even though he too acknowledges the faults of toxic masculinity, even if he falls into some of its traps. Yet his biggest fear isn't to not be perceived as manly. No, his fear is to be acknowledged.
* What does that mean? You ask and you're right, it's very vague phrasing. For me at least, Zen seems to always be putting up an act (especially in other routes except his own); he's so scared of letting true emotions show, to expose himself for who he really is that he tries to pull a facade, be it over exaggerating and focusing on his beauty to flat out avoiding conversations so as to not show his cards, his isnecurities. He's afraid of being seen.
* As for what pisses him off, well...Jumin obviously lmao
* Nah, what really angers him like no other is greed and convinience. He hates being handed things, can't stand to be coddled. He needs to know he's earned his place and victories through his hard work and hard work alone. If he sees people taking advantage of the system, using priveleges others aren't privy to and then pretending they got to where they are on their own he WILL expose them for the idiots they really are lol
JAEHEE:
((friendly reminder that i havent plaged her route in a long while so these are mainly observations from other routes))
* She likes to pretend nothing truly fazes her, but truly Jaehee takes things to heart much more than one would think. That's also exactly why she's built up walls for herself, afraid of letting anyone else in because...what if they hurt her? What if they don't like what they find once she lets them in? ...what if they leave?
* Of course the death of her parents impacted her like no other event, and losing loved ones in a flash like that is jarring, especially at a young age; so Jaehee's always afraid of people getting too close, and worse-of people leaving.
* As for anger, she HATES being taken advantage of. Similarly to Yoosung, but the main difference is that it's not her kindness people tend to take advantage of, but her capabilities and resilience. People think she's a reliable wall, piling things atop of her without even once thinking she might break under the pressure.
* What's worse, is Jaehee will rarely if ever lash out in anger, or even at least tell people to stop. She lets them lean on her until she can't no more, and then she simply takes a step back away from them, becomes cold but never mean. It might just be that she doesn't know how to.
JUMIN:
* Yes yes, Jumin the 'robot' as Zen calls him does have feelings, and fears and worries-truly he might be more human beneath his cold exterior than any one person may ever truly know.
* Jumin's big flaw is that once he's attatched to someone, once he bonds with them, he'll be there for life. Even if the person he loves is to kick him to the ground, even if they hurt him and dispose him like a carcass, if he's with you he's with you 'till the end of the line. Jumin's fear is that he cares too much or not at all, and there's no inbetween.
* He's learnt to deal in extremes, and that's not a trait you can simply unlearn; moderation has never been a part of him, and he fears it never will. So he'll love, or he'll hate, but he'll never simply tolerate (even if he may sometimes make it seem that way).
* As for anger, there's very few things that infuriate Jumin. Or rather, it's that he bottles in his furstrations until much later on he reaches a tipping point, unlesshing all those grievances like breaking glass. For him to come to that point though, it takes a LOT.
* One thing that can and will anger him like no other, even to the point of being physically fighting, is seeing someone mistreat animals. He WILL throw hands don't test him just because he looks like a prim and proper gentleman. 😤
SEVEN/LUCIEL/SAEYOUNG:
* I mean...we all know Seven is in fact a bundle of insecurities and fears moulded into human form.
* His fears and worries are countless and they often keep him up at night; losing the ones he loves, being unable to help as people he cares about suffer, having others be put in an unfavorable situation because of him...oh wait these are all things that HAVE happened and he has gone through. No wonder this man is as closed off as he is.
* So yeah, he has a myriad of fears. But honestly, and this will sound cliche I know...his biggest fear is himself. Wether he's good enough, wether he's worthy of love, if it's okay for him to be cared for, they're all worries that choke his throat, making him push others away for their own sake. Teaching Saeyoung to accept himself, and him truly believing he's capable of being loved is a long hard process.
* When it comes to anger, well generally he's learnt to keep his cool under most situations given his training, but he will go feral if he sees anyone being abused under any form. Knowing what it's like to be a victim in your own house, to cower from the people that should be there to protect you-he'll fight for the victims with tooth and nail.
V/JIHYUN:
* Similarly to Seven V's a burrito of insecurities, with a stuffing of fears and worries.
* He'a afraid of hurting the ones he loves, afraid that he's too much, too little, not enough and overwhelming all at once. He's afraid of moderation, afraid he'll never be able to provide the love one needs as they need it.
* In truth, he's afraid of being abandoned, and this deeply rooted fear is the one that blooms the rest of his insecurities and worries. He's afraid that if he doesn't mould himself into exactly what the other person seeks, they'll leave him in search of something better. He's terrified of being alone.
* When it comes to anger, in the past as a young teen the slightest thing could infuriate him, and he'd freely voice his anger even if it hurt others. Nowdays though, mainly because of the aforementioned fears, he's learnt to handle his anger, and it's a feeling he rarely experiences.
* One thing that can anger him to no end though, is if you dare hurt or taunt the ones he loves. If you even look at the ones he cares for the wrong way, he'll point you with a glare so cold and sharp you can feel blood pool on the tip of your tongue.
* Don't mess with V's family. DON'T.
-send me mystic messenger headcanons for character reactions-
#i rly enjoyed writing this OwO#i love analysing characters lol it reminds me of essays in english lit which i LOVED SO MUCH aaa#mystic messenger#mysme#mysme headcanons#mystic messenger headcanons#mysme prompts#mystic messenger prompts#yoosung kim#jaehee kang#mysme zen#hyun ryu#jumin han#luciel choi#saeyoung choi#jihyun kim#mysme v
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Polka is here! And she is adorable and cute and I love her just as much as I love Song! XD
Okay so yeah, this is my oc Polka, who is supposed to be my main oc. And I kinda have only two ships of her with two ocs in the twisted wonderland fandom and um...that is Vert Ashengrotto and Gale Cuvier who are owned by @laizy-boy (if you don't think this is a good idea to ship your ocs with mine my friend i understand please don't hate me), so yeah, let me get started with her information!
Polka was abandoned as a baby, left in a small bag and was floating across the sea, and was found by a human who took her in and brought her into a orphanage, in time after she grew five, she met with Siren's human relatives, but some relatives were actually mermaids.
At first Polka didn't think much of it and was slightly happy about being near her family but then...she ends up being bullied by the little mermaids, after her cousin Siren cane into town
All of them say that she looked like her just because she was trying to be better than her! Since Polka was only adopted the children in the village she lived in believe that she was just a copy cat her, even some of the adults that adore Siren and her voice treat her like she was nothing but Garbage. As for Siren's relatives they all just never notice her, they only kept their eyes on Siren who grew up to be with her dear darling Azul.
It was at that point was when she started to hate Siren. Because of her, she never had any love at all, and she grew depressed and suicidal as well. But that still didn't make anyone notice her... except Siren has, but every time she wanted to help, all Polka does was just push her away, and since then she never spoken to anyone.
It came to everyone's, even to Siren's surprise when the ebony carriage came and brought her to Twisted Wonderland, and it was even more of a surprise to Polka when she was chosen to be in the Octavinelle Dormitory, where she ended up meeting Vert and his crew, who took over the Monstro lounge after Azul had graduated.
She basically tried to stay away from others but slowly she started to become a "bit" (a lot) close to Vert when they both realize that they both hate their own relatives, Azul and Siren.
She kinda met Gale when she kinda bumped into him on accident and kinda talked back at him for being called "mer-shrimp" and told him to watch where he was walking for being such a short stack of a tiger shark.
After a while of working together though Polka decided to pride up and apologize for being stupid and losing it, since she tries hard not to let it show at all.
As for the Mantaray twins (Cloak and Dagger) She didn't mind them being so quiet, in fact she didn't mind if they didn't really talk to her at all really. She would be very polite in asking them for help from time to time, though she would never admit aloud that she was afraid of them at first, after all as some people say, "the quiet ones are always the worst ones", in her aspect she knows if she ends up doing something that could possibly upset them both that badly she knew that their sadistic side could possibly show up. (A/N: maybe...pls notify me if I'm wrong about this I'm a dumb dumb okay! T_T)
Random facts: She does not like her hair being all messed up, she hates it when it gets a bit too messy, and she always keeps her bangs half over her eyes since she was bullied about them the most, she likes keeping her hair in twin pigtail braids, and last but not least, she wears a red ribbon choker around her neck that has a nice gold bell on it.
So yeah, this is the info I have of twst Polka so far! I have a lot of work in changing her to be a better character and possibly rename her for fandoms sake. If anyone has any ideas on what I should to in changing her style or name, let me know okay? Thank you! Also, image made on Picrew.
#Polka#Octavinelle#twst oc#twst#twisted wonderland#Need to change things since I don't want two Polkas it would be confusing.#laizy-boy#I love your ocs pls let me at least ship one of with your oc#pls don't hate my ocs
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StarPre Ep 40: A lesson in judging immaturely.
Dude, this episode hurt like a bitch to watch.
I mean, the preview suggested it would be but I will never be alright with seeing Lala cry, ok? N-E-V-E-R
Also, FUCK MADOKA’S DAD!!
Don’t you ever come near my daughter again! D:<
*cough* Now, where were we? Ah, yes. Rumor mills and ostracization.
Ok, let’s set aside the fact that Lala is indeed an alien, that strange things started happening around the same time she transferred in, that people woke up with no memory of what happened before they fell unconscious, etc.
Let’s set aside the fact that despite being a grade-A tactless asshat, Madoka’s dad was just doing his job on investigating things he found suspicious. That it probably wasn’t his foremost intention to disrupt peaceful school life by having everyone in Lala’s class turn on her just because he wanted confirmation on who she truly was.
Does that make his actions excusable?
NO.
You do not approach a middle school girl, tell her that her classmate is “highly illegal and dangerous” with absolutely no proof to your claim and simply not care about the consequences afterwards.
Look, we all know the kids in Hikaru and Lala’s class are good people. Nobody gangs up on others, nobody gets left out of the group and they all get along very well.
Most importantly, they welcomed Lala with open arms when she joined their class.
So for that to turn completely upside down overnight, there’s got to be reason for it and it certainly can’t be because they’ve all been rotten deep down this entire time. Naw, that makes absolutely no sense.
The reason is panic.
As good as these kids are, they’re still just kids, y’know? They’re children.
How do you think they’re going to react when an adult (who just so happens to be the former school president’s father AND a government official) says “your classmate may be behind all the strange things that’s been occurring all over town”?
Children are taught to listen to their elders.
Children also have very vivid imaginations.
If you tell them there is reason to fear, then they will fear.
They are not the cause of the problem (the one who set that fear loose is) but their misunderstanding of it can make things so much worse.
And in this case, it created a scenario none of them wanted.
They all went on the defensive against one innocent girl. They excluded her out of self-preservation and hurt her as a result.
Again, like Himenojou later clarifies, nobody in the class wanted to suspect Lala. They felt awful about it when Lala ran off crying after hearing their conversation.
But since Madoka’s dad tried to expose Lala’s true nature, it’s very hard for them to ignore the possibility of a connection between Lala and the strange happenings. They just can’t help but doubt.
And it’s so very easy for humans to doubt each other. It’s such a sad thing to admit but people in general tend to give in to their negative thoughts more than they want to try to believe the actual truth.
I mean, take a look at what happens on social media every single day. People are vicious and merciless when it comes to their opinions. We think we know what’s right when in reality, we really don’t know what to believe.
But more than how it affects us, how do you think it fares for the target of these “discussions”?
Do their feelings not matter? Are they supposed to just sit quietly on the side like an object as we tear into them with our suspicions?
That is just so WRONG.
Which is why I’m so glad, so eternally grateful, that even in times like these, there will always be at least one person in the world who’s going to stand by you no matter what. Who will cry with you but defend you to the bitter end regardless.
Nevermind that Hikaru’s been in on Lala’s secret since the very beginning. Nevermind that they’re very close friends or are on the same team.
Hikaru chose the Lala she knows over the vague accusations pointed at her friend.
Hikaru chose Lala for who she is, not what she is.
And like so many instances before, the theme of these season comes full circle.
It is worth it. Learning more about what you don’t know. Understanding and comprehending what you don’t know.
So that when you finally know, truly know, there is no need to doubt.
Because you already know what’s true so why should you doubt anymore?
Then of course, there’s Lala.
Oh, Lala.
You sweet, wonderful, beautiful girl.
Despite having such a shitty day bearing the distrusting looks of her classmates, Lala knows that they didn’t mean to hurt her. They were just afraid. They couldn’t help it.
It doesn’t erase what they all did for her when she became their classmate. It doesn’t render all the good times she shared with them moot.
No. Lala still sees them as her friends, people who are dear to her. People who have made her happy. For that, there’s no reason why she shouldn’t protect them.
They’re important to Lala, regardless of what they think of her or whether they can understand her or not, so of course she’s going to protect them!
And again, it comes full circle because now that everything’s out in the open, then it also means the entire class can see Lala for who she truly is.
And what they see isn’t a scary alien out to abduct them and take away their memories but a brave girl who’s doing everything within her power to keep them from harm.
A girl who’s also their precious classmate and who’s also an alien.
She isn’t just one and not the other. She��s both.
But most importantly, she’s Lala. Their friend, Lala.
By cheering her on and later defending her from Madoka’s dad, they’ve fully accepted her situation and choose to stand by her just like Hikaru did.
It doesn’t matter what she is. What matters is that she’s important to them and that she’s here to stay and they won’t tolerate anyone who says or think less of her.
The fact that it’s gotten to the point where even Madoka is tired of Daddy-o’s invasive shit and firmly tells him to leave them alone is just...gratuitous icing on the cake.
*chef’s kiss*
Anyways, out of all the individual-centric eps in this last stretch before the climax, Lala’s focus ep amazes and excels over everyone else’s (not sure about Madoka’s yet which we’ll see next week) again.
Because you gotta remember that on her planet, nobody cared about her, much less acknowledged that she has the potential to be more than what they believe she’s capable of.
Lala yearned so much to be treated with respect but Saaman would not give that to her.
However, on Earth, she’s loved for who she is and not rejected for what she’s not.
And then she came so close to losing that so she fought to prove herself. Even without knowing if they’d welcome her back now that they’re aware she’s an alien, she fought anyways because here on Earth, more than on Saaman, she feels like she belongs.
Lala is infinitely more happy with her Earthling friends than she has ever been on Saaman and it will be terribly heartbreaking when she’ll have to leave after the final boss battle.
T_T
...that said, as much as I loved the resolution of this episode, I can’t help but find the buildup towards it a little...tilted?
Please don’t get me wrong, the message was solid and everything does make sense in context (more than Yuni’s episode did, anyway) but...
I dunno, I just can’t shake off the mild impression that in order for people to accept you, you literally have to take a barrage of bullets for them. But it’s a very insignificant feeling and I know that wasn’t the writers’ intention so nevermind. Forget this nonsense I’m spouting. :P
Anyways, all’s well that ends well. Lala will be even more loved than ever and frankly, that’s all that matters.
BEST GIRL, YEP
:D
#i skipped lunch to do this oi...#and now im gonna go home so will probably edit later#i just need to get this done otherwise my week will never start off#and again#I LOVE YOU MY LALA~!!! <333#and#FUCKMADOKA'SDAD#)8<#star twinkle precure#hagoromo lala#cure milky#hoshina hikaru
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26 trying to become an engineer. (2nd attempt)
Hello everyone :-)
Today I’ve been feeling pretty down and thought, well, I may as well do something that might get my mind off of my mood. I thought, “hey maybe I’ll share my story on tumblr.” So, here I am spiraling.
This is not my main blog but I did notice that over the years it was hard to find blogs that were active. Somehow, I came across the ‘studyblr’ community and couldn’t believe how many people were currently using this platform in that way. I’m starting school in the fall so I thought it would be a cool idea to also make one, and maybe it would keep me motivated! We will see. I have a good feeling because there are already sooo many amazing resources and advice tips. It’s very reassuring.
I guess I should start my story off with a few details about who I am and the type of life I had before coming to this point. My name is Ari and I love learning but I never had the vision or drive to look forward into the future very much. I did not concern myself with the responsibilities of adulthood when I was in high school. During that time, I wasn’t really focused on anything in particular. I didn’t sign up for the AP Classes, I didn’t see myself going to college, and the classes I wanted to take, I never was able to get in (my school already had overcapacity classes and it was the oldest high school in my city picture the not having enough books, packed classes, and old and worn learning materials). I really wanted to get into horticulture and signed up for it 3 years straight to no avail. Even though I lacked the competitive spirit and drive, I still had high enough standards for myself to try my best in school even if I didn’t know exactly why I was doing it. I did well and my class rank, I found out was #3. I only found out because the teacher I worked for would tell me “hey you’re really close to having to give a speech” to that I was like HUH? I also was way too shy to even think about that so I just kind of brushed it off. But to this day, I wonder what I could have accomplished if I had the same goals my peers had.
My counselor nominated me for a scholarship to which I was surprised but I applied to the school (the only school I applied to) and wrote my essay. I did this because I was honored someone actually thought of me. The school could only put up one person per scholarship per university. I’m sure she put me up because of my math scores if I’m being honest.
By that time I had decided to go into the military, because some guy from the Navy came and talked to our class. I thought, I’m sure I could do that? I was basically doing the things I needed to do my senior year so that after I graduated I could have a job. But unexpectedly, the teacher that I worked for pulled me aside one day and asked me what my plans for the future were. I told him I’m most likely joining the military and that I applied to a university but there’s no way I could pay for it. I already had received a letter that I was denied the scholarship. He sincerely looked at me and told me that I could do anything with my life and that going into the military is great but that I could join that whenever. He told me “not everyone gets to go to college.” I shrugged because I didn’t feel like I was in control of any of that. But then he did something while I was in his computer lab and it was near the end of the school year. He had called up the university I applied to and asked them about my application…. He did that for me. And after getting off the phone with them he told me the lady said “she’ll be very happy.” Although not disclosing any details. For some reason the small gesture moved me and I’m pretty sure that was the moment that I started believing that I could actually accomplish things. I started being able to think about the things I wanted out of life. I could make the decisions of what I want to be, not some recruiter.
It wasn’t until I got my acceptance letter stating that I had received a full ride scholarship that it all became real. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t think I would ever go to college but now I have a way?
Fast forward to my freshman year of college. I was 17. It was in a new city, I was on my own for the first time in my life, I had met a lot of new people, and I was a first year engineering student hoping to graduate in electrical engineering and I was proud of it. I had felt like I had already accomplished so much just off the fact I was accepted into that program. However, reality started to sink in quick. School was HARD, the classes were HUGE 200 students in most of my classes. I procrastinated, stayed up too late, was not understanding my homework, and failing my tests. I felt like a failure and I failed Chemistry I that year. The next semester, I hoped things would be better but in fact it was much worse. I was horrible and completely lost in my computer engineering course and couldn’t create a working program for the life of me, I couldn’t even create a FLOWCHART. Because of the class size I was deathly afraid to raise my hand and just ask a question. I just kept my mouth shut hoping for the best, for a miracle really. I struggled in Calc 2 and especially in Physics I. I didn’t fail any of the classes but with the grades I received it felt no different. I received D-’s for two of my classes and I felt hopeless. I felt dumb. I thought I need to figure something out, because my scholarship covers 4 years for me. I can’t afford to retake a class I just can’t.
And during that summer I transferred out. I told my mom about my experience and she didn’t have much sympathy for me. Just heard things like “well if it was me, I would have made an A”. I tried explaining to her how hard and difficult it was but I didn’t receive any emotional support that day. In my eyes I thought I tried my best. Honestly, that interaction just furthered my belief into thinking yeahhh it is my fault. I just can’t do it.
I was in this space where I didn’t know what I wanted to do anymore and it scared me. I talked with an advisor and she helped me make a schedule to explore more majors. I explored art, math, and environmental tech. I ended up completely dropping Calc 3 because I was making like 20% on my first test *sigh*. But I did well enough in my gen eds. I truly thought school wasn’t for me. And keep in mind I also was working the entire time through college and it would take me an hour to walk there and an hour to walk back to my dorm. I really needed money T_T. My priorities were all mixed up back then. I also was dating someone who was very very bad for me. He was a cheater, never wanted to see me, and I would miss classes just because we were arguing. I ended up losing a lot of friends because of my terrible relationship as I was spending all my time on him and not on other aspects of my life. I broke up with him my junior year of college.
After that I found myself really focusing hard on my grades, wanting A’s, wanting to do well. I told myself the difference between an A and a B is just effort. My senior year I was working as well as taking 21 credit hours a semester just to graduate. I actually had to submit paperwork to be allowed to take that many hours per semester. I had little time to myself really and I would sleep on the benches outside in between classes. I was so tired my entire senior year but I know for the first time I was doing my absolute best to graduate. I needed to graduate AND do well. I ended up graduating in environmental tech which is under the college of forestry at my university. So it was very different than what I started off in. I was proud for a little until I moved back home.
When I got back home I couldn’t find a job in my field. I would get interviews and I would get ‘almost’ hired but I would be rejected last minute. It’s either a hiring freeze, simple rejection, or the ‘you need a car’ to work here. But I didn’t have a car, I didn’t have job to get the car and so what I did was say Fuck IT. I got a job as a cashier making $7.25 an hour at a donut shop. I could hardly save money because my family would always ask me for some. I ended up talking to a recruiter and I was about to join the military for real as I’m from a military town and jobs that weren’t the hospital or military were virtually nonexistent. That’s what I planned to do and I remember writing on my calendar in my room to “save $400” before I left. And that was a goal looking back now, made me realize how much I was struggling in that environment.
I left. And I joined the military. I knew that I could get a free education and housing so that’s why I did it. It wasn’t a very good reason but I’m so glad that’s what I did. I grew up so much while I was there. I earned an electronics degree while I was there. In fact we went over the same exact things I learned in computer engineering, but this time I could understand and it came easy to me. Learned a new skill. Learned social skills. Learned how to stand up for people. Learned how to manage others and really really show them that I cared. I got my first car, got my first apartment, and I learned what it meant to live comfortably and securely, even if work itself was more stressful than anything I’ve ever known. I accomplished a lot in the four years I spent there, I met so many people that are now all over the world, I have a network, and I even met my current boyfriend.
I am now 26. Those four years I spent in the military allowed me to think about my future and what I wanted to do. I am still trying to be an engineer. I think I gave up too easily when I was 17 and I was not in the right mindset. I didn’t think I was as smart as everyone else around me. I didn’t think I deserved to be there. But I was wrong. I did deserve to be there. Now that I’m older I understand I was going through a lot of things and had very little support and I didn’t believe in myself enough. I believe we can do anything we set our minds to, because it’s about effort. This is where my new journey begins.
I’m 26 years old and I don’t think it’s too late. I’m going to be starting my nano-engineering courses in the fall and retaking chem and physics. And I will do well no matter what it takes. I’ve been talking to someone at the university here and they say that I have a good chance at getting into their Materials Science and Engineering M.S. program. Me, someone without an engineering B.S. This is where I’d like to update my story. And hopefully someone out there can relate or share their journey as well. It’s been hard understanding that I am deserving to be here and to ask questions and actually succeed. I’m not giving up this time. No way. The things you love and are passionate about will always come back to you.
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Levihan Fanfiction Favorites
I know this is a little late, but thanks for 200 followers <3
I probably could never express in words how much I love these fics, and I apologize if my thoughts are a bit all over the place or don’t make any sense, but I just want to tell you guys why I love these so much as best as I can!
(っ˘ω˘ς )
I literally had to stop myself from going into detail about why I love every sentence of all these fanfics.
Thank you authors for writing these masterpieces!
Not in any particular order:
Ocean Talks - by kindredghosts
One of my favorites of all time -This fic takes place after the events of chapter 90, and features Hange and Levi having a talk together after a year of avoiding each other over Levi’s decision to give Armin the serum instead of Erwin.
There were so many moments (and a few that made me laugh too) that really pulled on my heartstrings and I really hope a discussion of this sort is explored in canon.
Spoilers
I love how they portray Levi and Hange’s bond/relationship. Levi and Hange are so tense with each other at first, because of their lack of communication, but as soon as they open up to each other and are honest, they are back to their old selves again and start teasing each other like they always have. Having that talk and being honest with each other caused them to feel relieved and at peace, which I think really helps show how close they are. There are also many points in the fic where their understanding in each other and bond of trust is displayed which to me is something that is a crucial part of their relationship.
This piece also has one of my favorite fanfic endings as well it was too cute. And that ending dialogue “We will protect each other.” hits me in the feels every time I read it.
End of Spoilers
Aftermath - by just_quintessentially_me
I immediately knew after reading the summary, that this was going to be one of the best things I’ve ever read. This fic takes place after Bertholdt and Reiner reveal themselves as the Colossal and Armored Titan and attack the wall. Levi is on his way to the wall when poor Pastor Nick (understandably) confuses Hange as Levi’s wife when he sees him growing worried about her fate. This is a piece that really feels like a part of the actual series, and had comedic elements as well that were flawlessly written. They completely nailed the personalities of the characters which was amazing. The last thing I will say before the spoilers below is that this made me appreciate Pastor Nick on a whole new level.
Spoilers
First off, Levi’s utter disbelief and confusion with the pastor’s mistake and growing frustration when Nick just did not understand that they weren’t a couple was truly hilarious. Although the way Levi was worrying about Hange so much (which was adorable by the way) and how they always act like a married couple when they are together, I wouldn’t blame the pastor at all for thinking they were married. And actually in a way, the discussion between Pastor Nick and Levi kind of leads to Levi opening up and realizing his feelings for Hange.
When Hange finds out the pastor wants to marry them after he interrupted their couple-like discussion, Levi’s feelings are revealed. This moment made my heart burst because they both knew they loved each other, but the heart-breaking thing was that they simply could not bring themselves to say anything. They both are characters that aren’t good with words as is seen in the series. In the fic, they confess their feelings to each other using actions which I think is something that fits both their character’s perfectly. And they understand each other so they both know what the other means. Seriously though, another one of the most memorable things I’ve ever read is this part: “I’ve always-....she splayed her fingers where her palm rested, directly over his heart.” She couldn’t say it and neither could Levi, but Levi understands what she means and returns the gesture.
I love how Hange says that for them, it was a sort of proposal (my heart was hit with a case of the feels when Levi brought up the idea of having a private marriage ceremony), because Levi and Hange don’t have the luxury of being able to say “I love you” because of how their world is, but they don’t really need to because what they have is enough for them.
But seriously, Pastor Nick basically caused Levihan to be canon. Thank you Pastor Nick. (￣ω￣)
End of Spoilers
All of Me - by JulyStorms
In this piece, Hange encounters an unconscious Levi while fleeing from Titans. . She fights to keep them alive, and soon Mike arrives to help but he only has enough resources to save one of them.
Let’s just say this piece gave me an overwhelming amount of feels and has one of the most unforgettable scenes that I’ve ever read.
Spoilers
Hange knew she was going to die when she sent Levi with Mike, but she wanted so badly for Levi to survive, and begged Mike to save him. Hange’s desperation for Levi to live was really beautifully written. Man that's true love right there.(T_T) This scene was heartbreaking for me because of Levi’s helplessness. He was so injured that he didn’t have the ability to stop her. I personally see Levi as a character that strongly desires to have control in his life and I feel like the fact that he couldn’t do anything was devastating to him.
It hit me hard when Levi lost it after waking up in the medical wing. It was written so that you can hear the raw fear in his voice. He knew she wasn’t alright but he didn’t know what happened. When he found out she was presumed dead he wanted to go back to look for a body. (and her wings) And my lord it was so sad when Levi kept calling out to Hange as if he expected her to respond. That line where he announces she is officially dead; it was written so well because I feel like it shows that Levi is emotionally broken and struggling to retain his normal stoic composure.
The scenes where we see Levi struggling to deal with Hange’s passing are something that feel really impactful. The way I interpreted Levi’s feelings based on my own interpretations of him is that he has been so lonely his whole life that once his loneliness is replaced with feelings of love and comfort that if that were to be taken away from him it would break him, and I think that’s what happened to him when he believed Hange died.
End of Spoilers
Heart-bites - by Huntress_of_Life
This is a parental Levihan fanfiction from Levi’s p.o.v., in which he experiences a type of feeling he doesn’t know how to deal with.
Parental feels are something that really hits home for me. I remember looking for a piece like this for a long time, and this was so perfect, and so beautifully written that I was sobbing by the end of it. (and I don’t cry often) The characterization was just right and Levi’s anxiety and emotions could strongly be felt. Every time I read this piece I swear I start crying or at least tear up. I won’t say too much about this one, because I think the best way to explain why this is such a beautiful piece is just to go read it.
Spoilers
Levi has dealt with so much loss and pain in his life, that the pure joy he feels when his child is born clashes with his stoic mentality and he thinks something is wrong with his heart. I think the fact that he believes something is wrong with his heart also has to do with the fact that he had an extreme lack of affection as a child. He isn’t used to feelings of love. He is so anxious to confront his feelings, but when he thinks of Hange and their journey together, his walls start coming down, and his heart sings thinking about his new family.
Once he holds his daughter, he is completely relaxed, because he realizes his anxiety came from wanting to see her so badly. (This is the part where my floodgates broke) At the end Hange wakes up and of course she reads him like an open book, not only because their bond is so strong, but also because I can only imagine how happy Levi would look.
End of Spoilers
This piece was one of the most touching and precious things I’ve ever read, omg I’m internally crying just thinking about it
More Cute Levihan Fanfics
I apologize if I don’t have much to say about these, but I love them just as much <3
Never Normal with Us - by WhatHistoryForgets
Another Parental Levihan fic, in which the titans are defeated, and Levi just wants his children to have a normal life. And oh my lord I love this piece because I personally think that since Levi grew up in such terrible conditions that he’d work hard to make his children feel as loved as possible even though he may be pretty awkward about it.
also lmao I thought it was perfect how Erwin is the uncle figure
Turn - by ConfusedMuse
In this piece, Hange and Levi attend a military fundraiser ball and Levi sees a different side of Hange.
Amazing characterization for Hanjo in here
I really hope someone makes fanart of Hange in that uniform
When Forever Rolls on Through, I'll be Holding On to You - by LesboDyke
A piece in which Levi receives Hange’s jacket, and after a tragedy, reads through her journals. This fic ripped my heart out.
Spoilers
They were married ;-;
The way they said goodbye was just so… them. They’re such abnormals. (｡T ω T｡) It was perfect and cute and I died.
And then I loved the way Levi just knew something was wrong. I think it’s an Ackerman thing to have the ability to instantly know when their loved ones are in danger.
Another thing is that like in the manga, Hange is non-binary, and I love how when someone refers to Hange as a “she” Levi is quick to correct them. This ties into one of my favorite things about Levihan, (although everything about Levihan is great) that Levi and Hange have so much respect for each other, and that Levi wants to make sure that Hange gets the respect they deserve.
The ending killed me. (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ
End of Spoilers
Unexpected Fairytales & The Kitten Smith Chronicles - by raisedinthunder
I love raisedinthunder’s writing. ( ´ ▽ ` )
A ton of perfect fluffy fics to read after a bad day or just after reading a really sad piece. I reread these all the time because my gosh they make me so happy.
Dancing Under a Blue Moon - by Stratagem
Yet another Parental Levihan fic (I love these)
In this fic, Hange and their daughter work together to get Levi to dance with them
EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS FIC WAS PERFECT
I feel like this piece really shows how much Levi’s family means to him. Also, I just wanted to mention that I died immediately when reading the beginning of this piece simply because they described the Levihan family as “The Ackermans” and I think picturing the words “Hange Ackerman” was too much for my heart to handle.
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