#and the lack was incredibly depressing :(

[knickynoo]

At what point in time do you think the original timeline McFly family started being dysfunctional? I’m sure George and Lorraine were fully in love at first, and Lorraine even still in the 80s seems to look back fondly when recalling how they fell in love. But I do wonder when exactly it started to go downhill, when they started having kids? Just with age? Or maybe it was never really great to begin with before Marty got involved

This is a really interesting ask, and it's something that I've thought about a handful of times. The Twin Pines McFlys fascinate me.

As for my own headcanons about when the dysfunction started, I think it was always there. Dysfunction within families is complex, though, so it likely ebbed and flowed and morphed over the years. Some thoughts! (hehehe, analysis and theories incoming)

I 100% believe George and Lorraine were fully in love at first and are even still in love when we meet them in 1985. It's just that life has beaten them both down in various ways, and they've lost touch with each other and fallen into a pattern of being resigned to (and maybe even comfortable with) all the disconnect within their family. But there's no mistaking the fondness with which Lorraine begins her story of how she and George met and the way it shifts to such sadness within just a few seconds. Her question of, "It was the night of that terrible thunderstorm, remember, George?" is such a clear bid for connection with him. A hope that he'll smile and recall that night and join in on her story. That's what Lorraine wants! But George doesn't even acknowledge her (not on purpose, I'm sure; he's just so wrapped up in watching The Honeymooners), and you see Lorraine gradually deflate from there.

It's so sad because you can see the emotions shift so suddenly in her! That first gif still holds such affection as she recalls their first kiss. It's like she's a girl again, feeling that overwhelming sense of love and all the possibilities for their life together. But then it changes. She's brought back to reality and all the unhappiness, the disappointments, the realization that life isn't what she imagined for herself.

By the last gif, she's a woman who clearly feels trapped. Now stuck with this guy for the rest of her life. And what makes it so awful is that you can TELL Lorraine still loves him. She longs for that happiness they once had, but it takes two people putting in effort to make a marriage work. She can try to reach George all she wants, but if he can't be emotionally present, it isn't going to work.

Also, I'm sure that George loves Lorraine as well, but he's got a whole plethora of issues that just. Haven't been addressed. George has no self-worth. He's meek and lets people walk all over him and is so completely anxious about everything in life that he's mostly shut down. He's trapped too, with no way (that he can see) to change things. So he does what he can to survive, which consists of doing Biff's bidding and retreating to an inner world at the expense of shutting his family out.

I don't think things were always to this extreme, though. For a while I'm sure things were okay, maybe even good. They were young and in love, and while George was still George, I don't think life had defeated him yet. They got married, really established their little life together, and I can see them as both having hope. And even if there were moments that seemed shaky or hinted that things might be difficult down the road, it was easy to brush it aside. They were still finding their footing, and they were young and had their whole future together to make things better. In all honesty, Dave probably got to experience the "best" versions of his parents for the first several years of his life.

However, each year and every hardship (big and small) likely chipped away at the McFlys and brought about additional dysfunction. I don't know if Biff and George started working with each other right out of high school or if they came to work those jobs later on, but I'm sure that was a huge factor. It offered no escape from Biff for either George or Lorraine. Just a predictable cycle of George having to do whatever Biff told him, Biff invading their home whenever he pleased, and everyone having to watch George immediately tuck his tail between his legs.

As I said, I think things gradually kind of unraveled in their house. As the state of their family became more solidified, Lorraine likely began drinking more and withdrawing. I do think they still had their good days, though! Moments that brought them together and where they felt that happiness they once shared (I mean, they had three children together, and it's clear Dave, Linda, and Marty ARE loved and were raised well.) But the state of the McFly household is probably all Marty has known for the majority of his life. I can see situations arising where maybe Dave has told him, "They weren't always like this, you know."

Dysfunctional as they are, George and Lorraine really are trying. I think they can absolutely see the cracks and the flaws—perhaps even the potential damage being caused to their children—but they just have too much brokeness inside themselves to do better. So, they do what they can, which for George involves trying to protect his children's feelings by discouraging them from taking risks. He doesn't want them hurt or sad or disappointed, and his solution is to have them form shells around themselves. Better to save yourself from all the headaches life brings.

Lorraine does her best to protect and guide her kids by way of warning them away from the very things that brought her to where she is in life. We see this manifest in the form of criticism mostly when she's talking to Marty.

Lastly even with Lorraine seeming as downtrodden as she is, I can see her clinging to the possibility of change. Hoping and praying that eventually, George would say enough was enough and stand up for himself. He'd put his foot down, step up as a husband and father, and things would become what she always wanted. She was the one always telling herself, "Someday. Someday..." until the point we see her at during the dinner scene, where she knows that "someday" isn't going to ever happen. Things are just the way they are, and she has to deal with it.

This was a lot, but I have a lot of feelings about the McFly family and how they operated in their day to day life. Especially the implications of the McFly sibs (Marty in particular!) being raised in such an emotionally disjointed environment. Ugh, those gifs of Lorraine make me so sad. The whole thing is sad.

Thanks for the ask, though! I want to write another Twin Pines McFly fic now.

#asks #back to the future #bttf #no but i could write a whole series of posts on Twin Pines McFlys #and how just that one short scene displays such a sad‚ tense home life #no cohesion. no true connection #checked out dad and depressed mom #& their oldest son who doesn't seem to have his footing in life‚ daughter who feels isolated & frustrated with a lack of social life #& youngest child who's anxious & so incredibly sensitive to rejection & feels directionless & has exactly one (1) stable adult in his life #growing up in that environment does things to you!! #and then Marty is thrown into a Better Timeline with very stable and well adjusted parents but he still was raised with the dysfunction!! #that's still part of him!!! how does he cope!!!!?? #losing my mind eric stoltz was right about the ending!!!

[time-is-restored]

btw this might be me swinging a bat at a hornets nest but like. absolutely none of my disappointment from the tl finale comes from ship baiting or any relationships that didn’t happen (though to be clear, i think the tedbecca fake outs were meanspirited and served no narrative purpose - in noted contrast to the season's earlier jamiekeeley fakeouts, for example, which were explicitly there to demonstrate jamie's growth + maturity)

tedpendant is a really fun concept for me, and i LOVE the characterisation + thematic potential there!

but as someone who personally resonated with a lot of ted’s struggles, the idea that ted could leave richmond so… seamlessly, for lack of a better word, really doesn’t sit right with me. the thesis of the shows entire first season - assuming it can be said to have only one - was about how everyone needs the love and support of a community, whether that comes in the flavour of someone who hypes u tf up or someone who will relentlessly call u on ur shit (or, as happened quite frequently, both!).

rebecca, roy, jamie are the clearest examples as the characters with the most screentime: they were all deeply isolated and disconnected from the people around them, and that was making them miserable. the connections they made with the team, the vulnerability they finally allowed themselves to express (the ghost banishing ceremony comes to mind!), and them going on to want *more* out of their life are what made their arcs about *progression* rather than *regression*. without that clear theme of compassion + community inspiring positive growth in everyone who encounters it, there is, frankly, no season one.

my personal favourite scene from season one comes right after michelle walks away from ted, when they’ve agreed to get divorced. ted sits down on the bench looking gutted, and a little shell shocked - and beard sits down with him. hands him the drink, and they sit there together. silent, but together. to me, that scene is an implicit promise from the episode, to the audience: ‘it’ll be okay. it’s going to be hard, but ted isn’t alone, and his friends won’t leave him behind.’

it also makes it clear to the audience that ted isn’t the saintly-giver-of-grace who needs nothing in return, as one might assume on first brush, but rather that he’s Also struggling with his own shit (as is everyone, always, in real life!) and he has something he needs from the people around him too.

and looking at the text of s3, and the conclusion to his arc in the finale, i just don’t believe that he got it. he wasn’t just sad that he was leaving (which would be understandable!), he was completely closed off. unresponsive to the people around him reaching out, borderline confused as to why they were trying so hard!

(side note, while i completely respect the read of ted and trents last interaction being rather rude + ooc on ted’s part, i personally read a different motive into it. for me, it was more like… he didn’t understand where trents enthusiasm was coming from? like, he read that as trent being too invested in what other people think of him, and responded in a way that he hoped would emphasise that ted doesn’t *need* to laugh at everything trent wrote, bc trent Already Knows that he’s done something really cool and kickass, and he shouldn’t value anyone else’s reactions above that. basically, based on his demeanour in the episode, i genuinely don’t think it would’ve even occurred to him that trent was more invested in HIS reaction than he would’ve been with anyone else.)

again, looking purely at the text, the show had already established that ted has really strong depressive + avoidant tendencies, as well as panic attacks (largely triggered by his fear of not being ‘good enough’ in various roles, ie: a father). we saw one area he was able to calm HIMSELF abt these fears (worry for henry, which is a Hell of a choice considering the ending…), but in literally every other heightened moment, he had to rely on his support system to help him make the choices that he WANTED to make, rather than ones inspired by avoidance and fear (ie: confronting michelle abt jake, talking to his mum abt why she was visiting + his dads death).

and to be clear, this is a GOOD THING! we’re not supposed to go through life alone, no matter how bad OR well we’re doing. rebecca and keeleys friendship isn’t worth less for all the scenes where they’re both in good places. if anything, the opposite is true - it’s lovely that they both have someone who want to celebrate the achievements in their life!

and fuck it, we’re sure as hell not supposed to go through life with exactly one (1) person whom we expect to fulfill ALL of our emotional needs at all times either! like, im sure i don’t need to labour my point here, but tying everything to one (1) person in ur life doesn’t make u any less isolated than if u were going it completely alone, whether it’s a family member, a friend, or a partner. i won’t pretend to know the first thing abt what it’s like to be a parent, but i don’t think it’s unreasonable to say that no parent would be at their best if they had absolutely no support/camaraderie/general love provided to them from Anyone other than their child.

so when ted is SPECIFICALLY shown to be in a bad place, over and over again (did he come to terms w his fear to be close to henry overnight???????), and then removed from his community? of COURSE the audience is left feeling unsettled, and like the rug has been pulled out from under them. there was no time in this finale dedicated to how ted would still be in contact with anyone from richmond. no promises of visits, or phone calls - fuck, nothing about emails!! according to the text, we might as well assume this is a clean break (and the maybe-dream-sequence does Fuck All to assure us otherwise. if ted doesn’t go to beards wedding, what WOULD he go to????). and since the show has ALSO completely failed to give us even an IMPLICATION of who/what ted’s support system would be in kansas, there’s… a reasonable argument to be made that this is It for ted. that, after two seasons doing NOTHING but attesting otherwise, the audience is supposed to suddenly believe that ted can (and SHOULD!) pull himself up by his bootstraps, and cope entirely on his own.

that, to me, is a betrayal of the show’s premise. we were promised a show about how, no matter how dark things may get, none of the characters would be left to struggle alone. and then they ended the show with ted alone.

i don’t know. i guess if i had to give this post a tldr; if anyone has any gen fic/meta/Literally Anything in the pipeline, i would absolutely love to be tagged/directed towards it. i’ll be endeavouring to write something myself, as well, but it might take a while before i can return to my WIP, lol.

#this is the most measured version of this post i was capable of fghjskdjhgfdgjhsfd #the least measured one is just the aromantic flag with the ‘we are going to beat u to death’ meme overlaid #look ik this is hardly impartial wrt very small + insular communities like nuclear families #but its fucking impossible to go into media analysis and not bring Anything from ur real life in there w u #so im trying to forgive myself for being a little hashtag Vulnerable + Opinionated on main #in the spirit of what this show could’ve been lol #if not here then where etc etc #Ted lasso spoilers #Ted lasso meta #Ted lasso critical #also just to be clear here im being dead serious abt that last point #im spiritually doing the jamie run to demonstrate to u all how badly i want gen shit #please. p l e a s e . #okay wait last ramble here but. this is also why the lack of information we got on trent was so crushing to me #like ur telling me this man went through the incredibly painful + harrowing process of breaking out of his (comfortable! safe) shell + #cynical journalist persona. came out to someone VERY important in his life. and has done nothing but face the music wrt acknowleding #his past mistakes + endeavouring to be better and kinder. and we never get to know if he has ANY support through all that? at all? #is he dating? what's his family situation like? does he have full custody? any friends from work? any friends period????? #like i can should must and will die on the beard + roy + higgins + colins are trents best friends hill but #its like the premise of the show stopped mattering just in time for him to be left in a legitimately depressing limbo #like 'yes everyone needs love + support bc life is rlly hard. but we're tired of making a show abt that so This Is All Ur Getting #+ screw anyone's personal life that u didn't already see in s1. You Know Enough.' #anyway i love u all this is a very silly show and im gonna go play t.o.t.k for a few hours o/ <3

[ricoka]

I miss it so much, having so many different ideas and being so excited about them that I spend hours looking up references and tutorials and just wanting to create so bad

#I'm a broken record!!! #but my lack of inspiration makes me so incredibly depressed #i want to create but I don't know what

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ay. here we r on desktop bc i dropped my fuckng phone in a puddle #that's gonna be a problem probably tomorrow but i dont really care rn bc i feel awful #why? bc i was sampling in an incredible location this weekend and i was too depressed to enjoy it or display any enthusiasm or ask any #questions. ur in a place of microbiological history and wonder. anything to say for yourself? #no. i feel cold inside and i want to lay down and sleep #actually that's very similar to how i felt when i was on vacation there in high school. i was so depressed i was genuinly struggling to #smile in family pictures. so i guess 15yo me and 26yo me handshake #whatever. im gonna sleep. i have to drag myself up tomorrow and teach and also find time to pour media #idk it just feels shitty bc i had to be like: yo listen my current lack of enthusiasm is not reflective of how i feel abt this project i #was technically diagnosed as bipolar @ my advisor. which he took well i think. his brother is apparently bipolar #it just sucks bc i mean its an incredible place and an incredible opportunity im just stuck at the bottom of a well #unrelated

[scenicphoenix]

Having little to no motivation most of the time sucks ass. There is many foods i enjoy, that I would enjoy eating daily, foods that I would like to try even! But my brain has decided that I am not motivated enough to cook. The amount of motivation you have today is for bland steamed vegetables, if even that, good luck. It'll be a miracle if you ever enjoy your own cooking with how much motivation your brain gives you

Most of the meals I make for myself I would never cook for someone else because they are either extremely boring or covered in enough chili powder (or whatever spicy thing I have on hand) so I actually notice that I am eating something

One of my favorite things to cook when I have the motivation is baked chicken, covered in garlic powder, onion powder or minced onion, and whatever spicy spices I have on hand until it's bright red and looks like it could kill god. It's never really spicy enough because god is still alive, and I want to get it spicy enough that it could melt me into a puddle. Good in recipes tho

#if you have spicy spice recommendations that could possibly kill me I am listening #small vent #small rant #neurodivergence #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #mental health #executive dysfunction #depression #lack of motivation #I'm probably one of those depressed people who eats incredibly spicy foods to feel more alive and connected to reality

[berah-ronah]

im about halfway through the traitor baru cormorant, and there’s nothing more humiliating than having to admit to my smug girlfriend that she was right when she said that (as a sff novel that focuses, among other things, on the methods of imperialism and the material logistics/economics that underpin states, and how empires rely on exploitative systems rather than individual bad actors) it was exactly my shit

#like when we talk about the locked tomb id always say how frustrating it is that the administrative/political side of the empire is elided #because its semifeudal structure that lacks a centralized administrative apparatus vexes me #and EVERY TIME she would say with a cruel and mocking tone #''you know there IS a series that is entirely about those subjects'' #and every time i would sigh and say that ill get around to it eventually #and now that i have? i know that she was INCREDIBLY RIGHT and shes being SO SMUG AND MEAN ABOUT IT #anyway its a good book so far and its arguably better if you know the broad strokes of the novel going in (like i do) #im sure ill have my critiques but i do enjoy it very much even if it is a depressing read #baru cormorant

[depresseddepot]

it's daydream abt park dong hoon hours

#something abt that ''i learned i was strong enough to kill someone during puberty bitch'' speech against the loan shark really gets me #depressed middle aged business man beat the shit out of an abusive 20 year old and THAT is the shit i live for #that whole episode i was in like a state of euphoria man #something abt lee ji an's apathy and lack of visible emotion hits different #the way they portrayed emotion (esp guarded emotion) was somehow both incredibly realistic and artistic at the same time #incredible. wheres my depressed middle aged businessman to beat up the men that are mean to me #this post is all over. ily park dong hoon keep being cool as hell. also go to therapy please and maybe find a forest you can scream in #my mister #park dong hoon

[pendraegon]

girl help why do i feel so bad like 🧍🫣😭😵‍💫😶😐

#i thought at first it was bc of like. lack of food but i ate and it's not that #so im like...........oh. it's been a while since ive stared down #the vortex of churning hollowness. except like..what even triggered this why is this happening 💀 #me to myself: arent you too old for hiding under ur blanket all day in a depressive haze. #also me to myself: oh go fuck yourself with your sanctimonious bullshit #but. hm! anyways. um. hopefully i snap out of it soon it's just...been....a hot minute since i've had this feeling #on the other hand it's incredible considering that the way i feel now is not even a blip on the radar of #my 8 year span of somehow sinking lower than rock bottom from the ages of 16-24 so ?? improvement? yay?

[redafi]

Whenever I see something mature I immediately am taken back to my days of growing up on wattpad.

my first reaction is always OH GOD NOT AGAIN but my second reaction is always "wait it could be okay let me look at the plot" bc as I got older I went from sex-repulsed to sex-neutral lol

#Now I even have OPINIONS on particular things #like in wangxian i find it frustrating that no one seems to separate top/bottom dynamics from dom/sub dynamics #heck yeah they switch but that doesn't mean that wwx wouldn't still be tied up #as an example #that sounds incredibly dirty and its existence gives me anxiety but I needed to say it #On the subject of wattpad being my home town #internet-wise at least #I kinda miss my internet parents ngl #absolutely helped me out when i was struggling with stuff like my lack of communication skills regarding my parents and depression #as well as eugh people bc yknow that's just how it goes #RDoglover Borntosingwithdrama and ProfessorRemusLupin are the only names I remember (there was another person) #but jeez was that comment chain long and JEEZ there was quite a bit of chatting on there #Wish I could thank them for being such a great support while I was struggling during my younger years

[faunthekid]

girl who listens to the microphones and mount eerie 24/7 wondering why he feels so bad all the time

#surely it’s not…. the incredibly depressive nature…… of majority of the songs…… #must be the lack of sun! #i lov the microphones

[sixftmp3]

sotd. im tired.

#sotd 2023 #man this bipolar/seasonal depression/lack of social interaction has fucking haaaaannnddsssss #i sure would like to just. exist and live my life in parallel with another human being. too bad my roommate's literally nocturnal. #no fault of theirs its just how they are like if i worked overnights i'd be nocturnal too #i just kinda. listen i'll be the first to admit im not an incredibly social person but i like existing next to people #im really not doing good after these last few days

[evermorecountsastherapy]

was genuinely considering sitting down to start working on writing chapter 3 of SD today until i re-read chapter 2 (bc I honestly couldn't remember what all went on in that one and where i left off) and..... omfg that chapter is such a trainwreck wtf was I even thinking

#I feel a very strong urge to go in and completely rip apart that entire chapter #i wrote most of it in the midst of a depressive spiral but that doesn't excuse the severe lack of editing it contains my god #how do people read their writing without hating it? #bc i would really like to know the secret to it #like i read someone else's writing and i'm like “wow this person is actually brilliant what an incredible story i hope they write more” #but when i re-read my own writing i just want to toss it all out the window and cry

[strawberry-barista]

⚅— @fangedstories asked: —⚅ ⚅— "۞" —⚅

Muse Introduction Meme

— ★ ⚄ ★ —

⚀ Muse: Silon {From @meadowthorns }

Silon stretched his good arm high over his head and gazed out at the way the morning dusted over the horizon and made everything look just a little hazy. If he weren't in the position he was currently in, maybe he could have even enjoyed it. But as things stood, he was sitting next to a long-dead campfire with no provisions and a long way to go. Nevermind the fact that he had a man tied up like a sack of potatoes and needed to drag the lout for miles into the next town. This was probably one of the most unpleasant jobs that he'd ever taken on, but he had to do what he had to do.

He hadn't gotten too many details — he didn't really need them for a retrieval like this— but he knew this guy owed his employer an awful lot of money. It was a bad position to be in. Knowing groups like this, he was sure the guy was going to be forced to do manual labor for them if he was lucky. He might be killed if he wasn't. And maybe there might have been a part of him that felt bad about that, but he needed a way to survive and the world was cruel. There wasn't any space to have sympathy for the less fortunate right now. He needed money. To eat. To drink. To drink himself so hard he didn't have any dreams or nightmares. Anything to keep the screams of his past from calling after his tattered soul.

Silon stood and went through the trouble kicking through and stomping out the campfire, even knowing that there wasn't anything left to stomp out, then he drug his prisoner up to his feet. He ignored the groan of pain and pleas for mercy, letting them flow in one ear and out the other, and he started making his way back down the path. There was so much about this that he didn't like, and there was still that voice that told him to just be decent and cut the guy loose, cut his losses.

But that really wasn't his business.

"Shut the hell up, damn," he growled as he marched along the road. "Nothing you say is gonna change anything anymore than any other part of this trip. Got it? So can it, asshole."

It was rare for him to be so blessed, but his bickering actually worked, and he was given silence for the remainder of his trip. At least he'd be eating good tonight, in an inn he could afford and with a cup of the cheapest swill in the place. He'd drown himself. And he'd forget. And for one, confused, wonderful night he would be completely oblivious to his pain.

#anonymity annoying me ⤙ooc⤚⚄ #you still lack in experience ⤙answer⤚⚄ #meadowthorns #fangedstories #//figured I would do these in the form of drabbles #//i kind of missed silon tbh #//he's kind of incredibly awful #//but he's fun #debt tw #kidnapping tw #implied violence tw #depression tw #ptsd tw #alchohol tw #alcholism tw #//be careful reading anything from him y'all #//super dark stuff in the shadows of the meadow

[mizugucci]

the last time i made a gifset that got over 50 notes was 15 sets ago

#i counted #and in the last 35 #yes thirty five #ive made only 4 that had more than 50 #this is real depressing yall #i mean i know i shouldnt care abt notes #and like it's to be expected when i gif flops #and i gif for myself #but when i compare it to even a year ago #lack of engagement is really starting to pile up #and become an issue #for me personally #i guess it wont matter in a couple weeks but still #its incredibly sad #that this is what its come to... #genuinely i wouldnt be surprised if i quit gifmaking in general #its not fun in the long run anymore #im sorry ill stop whining now #mtxt

[ghoulcified]

Everyday feels harder and harder to live through.

And it shouldn't be like that.

#this is not a depression post (mostly) this is a i'm sick of living in this society where people lack humanity #i'm sick of living in a society where the people in power are not held accountable #i'm sick of living in a society that demonizes people #i'm sick of living in a society that prioritizes wealthy corporations and rich people over the people who are struggling who need our help #i'm sick of living in a society that values guns more than children #and its not enough to say: then change it #do something about it - as you'd hear in classrooms growing up #its incredibly difficult to do anything when our society has its boot on our neck

[duawheat]

feeling very underappreciated on tumblr dot com recently

#i am genuinly so upset with every aspect of my life or lack thereof #and the fact that it’s somehow so dead on here as well is incredibly aggravating to me #not that i blame anyone on here as always i am the problem #but i really wish i had just one. thing in my life #that i could truly enjoy and be happy with #but i really don’t i don’t enjoy anything #i find so little joy in life and i try So fucking hard to find beauty and joy in everything #but i just fucking cant #god it’s so depressing i really just wanna be happy or at least FEEL SOMETHING #i want #to live a life a real life where i feel things and do things but i’m just not #i’m missing something that everyone else has and i don’t know what it is and i’m so confused and i feel so fucking alone #god i hate it #vent #ignore