#and the marriage just couldn’t withstand the stress

[half-dead-ham]

Ch. 3 Hysteria

Chapter 3 of Dead men's Deals, courtesy of the DPxDC ship week! Day 1? Arranged marriages ofc ;). I thought it was a little ironic that I started this just before this was announced, but here we are!

Here's; [Ao3], [ch. 1 & prompt], [ch. 2]

The rest of Damian's patrol was maddeningly quiet, which of course meant that he had to run around with his siblings incessant prattling along the comm line. It seemed as though his half an hour of silence had caused quite the stir, and Richard was halfway to Gotham thanks to his silence.

  Joy.

  “Robin, you can’t be mad at me for worrying after you went quiet.” Richard huffed into the comm over the wind. “Forty-five minutes is a long time, and things could happen.”

  “I am fine, Nightwing. As I stated previously, an informant approached me about a private case that needed my attention. I did not realize he had a signal jammer on his person until he had left.” Damian snapped back as he reached the cave, pushing down most of his ire at his siblings' insistent mother-henning. He did not like being coddled when he was young, and he certainly did not like being coddled as an adult, it was demeaning to his skills.

  “You’re still getting checked for mental manipulation, Dami,” Timothy called from behind him, peeling his mask off and pushing his hair from his face. “No amount of treats will get you out of it tonight. Better safe than sorry, right?”

  And Damian wanted to argue, he really did. But then he remembered and felt that strange energy now nestled snugly in his chest next to his heart. It was cold, but not overly so. When he was not focusing on it he could almost make himself believe that that whole interaction was a hallucination, a figment of his overly stressed subconscious acting out to help him destress from something he couldn’t control. But then he would think about it again, and that cold something would move, reminding him that this was his reality.

  Something in him whispered about the absurdity of his life, another replied that this wasn’t even the strangest thing he’d experienced.

  “Fine, Drake. I’ll subject myself to your pointless tests, but only after I remove my gear.” Timothy almost looked surprised at how easily Damian agreed to the tests, he didn't know how easily he had swayed to please the being he had met now mere hours ago. How easily he wished to comply with the sense of trust that wasn’t his own. He felt it would be necessary to comply with the routine, no matter how tedious it was.

  They both made their way to the changerooms in silence after that, Timothy most likely deep in thought as to whether Damian’s new agreeableness was something to be celebrated or feared and Damian finally starting to tire after needlessly pushing himself for the first part of his patrol.

  It was reckless, now that the weight of so many uncertainties wasn’t nipping at the back of his mind like some sort of rabid animal. To exert himself in an attempt to outrun what he couldn’t control was pointless, and now he was paying the price for it in lead lined limbs. Nothing he needed to worry his siblings over, of course, that would only make him more suspicious. But he was finding the prospect of his soft, encompassing bed very inviting at this point.

  Damian had already taken his mask and cape off, and shucked one glove into his locker before he froze, thumb hooked under the lip of his remaining left glove.

  The mark.

  It would be visible to everyone once he took his glove off. Then he would need to explain Danny and the contract and the letter from his mother and then he would have to withstand Richards' whining. He could not let anyone see the mark.

  “Damian? You okay?” Timothy looked over, noticing his hesitancy and that he was still mostly in uniform. He did not like to linger in the changerooms and Timothy knew that. Even with his family and the years he’d spent in the manor he felt needlessly exposed being among others in a state of undress. Usually he would be changing as quickly and efficiently as possible to avoid being needlessly exposed for longer than needed be, but now… Damian moved his hand from the glove to his suit instead, intending to keep the glove on until the last possible moment.

  “How many times must I tell you that I am fine for you to accept it, Drake?” He snapped again without the heat, his mind elsewhere. Timothy simply huffed as he pulled on an old button down, then slipped back out into the cave to wait.

  There was no longer a reason for Damian to hesitate. Not that he was hesitating. Pointless hesitation was still a weakness Damian wouldn’t tolerate from himself even now. He slipped out of the rest of his suit and pulled his sweatpants on before focusing back on his still gloved left hand.

  Slowly, he pulled it off, revealing the black snowflake with the stylized D resting just above his third knuckle and the band circling his middle finger. He stared at it, examining the minute fractals the tattoo branched into, eyes trailing the feather light lines that connected the D to the rest of the shape, turning his hand to better inspect the black ring now imprinted onto his digit.

  Danny had said he wished to annul the contract that had forced this mark onto his hand. Although Damian had threatened violence, there was no grand battle. Their interaction was brief but not unpalatable. And Danny…

  Exhaustion made his thoughts swirl through his head, making thoughts connect for a fraction of a second before breaking apart leaving him confused. Slipping his shirt on, he frowned. After all this time, he thought he was able to understand his own emotions better than this, after all this time, after all the talks he had had with his two eldest brothers. Damian had thought he would know how to feel after he had met the Lord of Death, but their interaction just left him lost.

  He hated how little control he had over the situation.

  He walked out of the changeroom toward his brother, hoping a good sleep and the answers from tomorrow night would help his tumultuous feelings.

~~~~~

      “Father,” Damian called after the head of the house as he headed to his office after breakfast. Bruce turned, one eyebrow raised in curiosity as his youngest strode to catch up.

  “What’s up, chum?” He asked as he resumed his cant, keeping pace with his son.

  “I have… Information on the private case we discussed previously,” Damian confessed. His father raised an eyebrow at his words, confused.

  "The letter, father," he pressed, unconsciously clenching his left hand into a fist.

  His eyes widened in realization before the mask of the Bat settled on his father's face, expression hard and calculative. He nodded, then ever so slightly sped up his pace to the office.

  They walked in, and as soon as Bruce shut the door behind them he turned to Damian. “Did Talia send someone? Did you see her? Does it have anything to do with you comm going offline last night?”

  Damian took his place in one of the plush armchairs before replying with a heavy sigh. “Mother has not contacted me since she sent the letter father, I would have informed you otherwise and you know this.”

  Sitting down himself, Batman narrowed his eyes. “But this is related to why your comm went down last night?”

  Glancing to his hand, Damian nodded. Batman followed his gaze, but like Timothy the night previous, did not react to the black mark that now adorned Damian’s hand. It seemed, until proven otherwise at least, that no one but Damian and the Lord of Death could see their binding mark. Damian was both relieved that he didn’t need to explain the mark to his family, and frustrated that this was just one more thing he couldn’t validate were he to try.

  Huffing, Damian lifted his gaze back to his father. “I met my betrothed last night,” he stated flatly.

  Instantly tension gathered in his fathers frame, posed to react. From where Damian sat he could almost see the gears in Batman’s head working on plans and contingencies to keep his son safe from whatever monster that might wish to take him from them.

  He supposed that he wouldn’t be the only one getting shocked by his encounter.

  “Were you hurt?” Batman asked, his voice dropping to the tone he uses when asking for a mission report.

  “He did not hurt me,” he replied just as flatly as before. It was true, Danny had not harmed him in any lasting physical way. The jury is still out on any other way until tonight.

  Batman recognized all the things he didn’t say with his answer, narrowing his gaze as he studied his son. There were no doubt things he would be wanting to ask by what they meant, about how he may have harmed him in those forty-five minutes. Knowing they would get nowhere if they stayed on this topic, Damian pushed ahead, “He asked to meet again tonight so that he may explain more about our… arrangement.”

  “No,” Batman immediately states, much to Damian’s annoyance. “You aren’t going to meet a dangerous being we know nothing about.”

  “But father, he has answers,” Damian retorts emphatically. “Answers about this whole mess that Mother has dropped on us.”

  “Damian,” Batman glared at Damian, willing him to back down on this. Unfortunately, Damian has learned from his siblings to take that glare as a challenge. Neither backed down for what seemed like hours, Damian knew that if he were to look away it would be taken as a sign of weakness.

  Finally, Batman leaned back in his chair, tension slowly leaking out of his frame until only Bruce was left, sighing in only a way a tired father could. “You know I can’t let you do this alone, right?”

  Damian gave a sharp nod, “I know what risks could come with this. That is why I came to you, father, as no one else as of yet knows of my situation.”

  Bruce nodded, his expression shifting to something less tired and more thoughtful. His stance was firm about letting the rest of the family know about the contract, they were all gossip mongers and as soon as one of them knew the news would spread like wildfire. He would not be able to stop the comments from his siblings, and Richard’s planner must stay hidden at all costs now that he was staying in the manor for the near future. Cassandra might be an exception to that statement, she knew how to keep things hidden when they were important, but the rest he wouldn’t trust as far as he could throw them.

  His father would hopefully take their family's nature into account in his planning.

  “Well then, I suppose I’ll have Dick take over my patrol route for tonight,” Bruce decided with a nod. He moved to get up, but Damian stopped him.

  “Father, what do you mean?” He asked, “Why would you require Richard to take your route?”

  Bruce chuckled as he strode to the door, “Well, chum, I’d need to have him take over if I’m joining you.” And then he left, much to his son's bafflement.

~~~~~

      Flying in big cities was always something Danny could use to relax. Being so high up with all the glittering lights below him gave him a sense of peace he couldn’t get in his regular day to day life. He hadn’t really done it since coming here, what with his marriage manhunt, but now that Danny found the guy, he could finally appreciate the city for the beauty it had.

  Ignoring all the sounds of gunshots and the stench, the place really was a gothic marvel. All gray stone buildings and gargoyles; Sam would love it here.

  Of course, he did have a destination for his flight. Tonight he needed to pick his partner in magic matrimony up so that they could have a proper conversation back at his apartment. Robin… Danny wasn’t going to lie, he had a crush on the vigilante, but right now voiding the contract was more important than trying to get to know the guy.

  The sun had set a few hours ago by now, prime time for the criminals to skitter out of their hiding places and the vigilantes to start herding them like cats playing with their prey. Perfect hours to go and get his birdy.

  Danny followed the pull at his core as he flew invisibly through the city, trying to remember what he had looked up throughout the day. The city’s vigilantes were something of a band of cryptids, as Danny found out. Seen when needed, but mysterious enough that no one could land any solid information about them. Even the knowledge people had on them was speculative at best, and any concrete evidence was locked behind a firewall so strong it would make Technus and Tucker both drool.

  He couldn’t find much on Robin, other than the odd theory thread talking about how many different kids might have taken up the mantle before the most recent one. Saying that it would've had to have been different kids because they all had different fighting styles, there were periods of time in between sightings sometimes where people think the kids have switched, and that their heights and ages had stayed relatively the same until the latest one.

  The latest one has apparently been around the longest, but out of the supposed others he’s the least well liked. Danny figured that was probably due to the whole ‘assassin family’ thing so he wasn’t about to argue. His own amazing media coverage gave him a better understanding of how people liked to portray people who did things differently. From what he noticed last night the guy was rough, sure, but he did his job and did it well, so what if the criminals got a few extra scrapes?

  This Robin has been around for a while now, and has actually aged. He was probably around the same age as Danny… hopefully. Ancients, he really hoped he wasn’t secretly a lot older or younger than him, that would be really awkward.

  Danny had to shake himself of his thoughts as the pull on his core grew stronger, telling him he was near his… mate? Ancients no, that was gross. His fiancé? That's closer, but it's not like he and Robin wanted this. Partner in a magically binding contract? Partner might be simplest in this case.

  He was coming up to the roof his partner was standing on, talking with someone over the comm in his ear.

  Hm…

  Danny really shouldn’t try to piss the guy off more than he probably already has, but what was a ghost king if he didn’t pull a prank every now and again? Really, Robin was in the perfect position for a harmless prank, where he knew what Danny was but wasn’t desensitized to his antics.

  Mind made up, Danny descended to the rooftop below with an unseen cheshire grin.

~~~~~

      Damian was in the middle of explaining what had happened on his last patrol in length to Batman when his comm gave out in a hiss of static. He hastily yanked it from his ear, wondering irately how he hadn’t noticed the disruption the first time he had met the Lord of Death. Scanning the rooftop around him, he narrowed his gaze as he realized there was no one else here.

  Except there was.

  The cold thing in the center of his chest was reacting to something, writhing in its space and giving off more feelings that weren’t his. They were weak, giving him ample ability to resist succumbing to them, but that it was giving off anything at all meant one thing; the Lord of Death was close.

  A breath of frost across the back of his neck had him spinning, birdarang in hand. There was no one behind him. A whisper of a chuckle form his left and he was repositioning, searching the shadows for any presence. Nothing. He kept his stance for a few moments longer, seeing nothing but feeling a chill crawl up his spine.

  “Boo.”

  Damian spun, throwing the birdarang in the direction of the voice as he rolled to avoid whatever possible attack might happen in that second. The birdarang clanged against an air conditioning unit and stuck, its target missed completely.

  Or so he thought, until a laugh echoed out from a few feet in front of him.

  The Lord of Death melted into view, clutching his stomach as he curled in on himself in laughter.

  “Oh- oh my Ancients!” He wheezed through gasps. “You should’ve seen your face. Oh man,” his laughter started dying out as he uncurled, wiping a fake tear from his waterline with a finger. “I really needed that. How many people in this city can say they’ve surprised one of the Bats?”

  “That was unnecessary,” Damian sneered at the being across from him as he reluctantly dropped his stance.

  “It really wasn’t,” Danny countered, walking over to pick the discarded birdarang out of the aluminum siding of the conditioning unit. “I find it's best to have a bit of humor before you start talking about heavy topics.”

  Damian crossed his arms as Danny turned back to him. “There is nothing humorous about someone sneaking up on me only to pull such a childish prank.”

  The Lord of Death just shrugged, “Was funny for me. Anyway,” he made his way back across the roof to stand in front of Damian, his expression melting into something more muted as he started playing with the blade. “You ready to get a better picture of just how badly our ancestors screwed us over?”

  Damian canted his hips, silently asking himself if he was really going to ask this instead of just allowing his father to tail them. They had made a plan; Damian would go with the Lord while Batman followed behind, and should something happen to Damian he would whistle to alert his father who would then race to aid him.

  Only, with a better view of Danny’s disappearance and subsequent reappearance, he had to wonder how well their plan would work. Were Danny to disappear with him, there would be little chance for his father to find them, since the signal jammer that killed his comm had also killed his tracker upon review. Would he either ask an embarrassing question, or risk needless danger? The answer was easy.

  “I have a condition for going with you,” Damian asserted, to the Lord’s curiosity.

  “Oh?”

  “I wish to bring someone along with us, so I am not being led into a trap alone.” The offer was simple, yet Damian still prepared himself in case the being before him did not like what was given.

  The Lord of Death nodded thoughtfully, to Damian’s utter confusion. “Yeah, that’s totally valid reasoning.” Danny conceded, “I don’t mind if you bring someone. It's the person on the other roof, right?”

  What?

  Danny turned to face the adjacent building on which Batman had chosen to keep watch of their interaction, though he was out of sight. How was he able to tell where Father had hidden himself?

  Damian resisted a sigh as he watched the other wave where he approximated his father was, hidden in the shadow of the taller office building on the other side. There were no differences in the shadows from where he stood, and Danny wasn’t in any better position to see. It must be another ability of his, he supposed, as Danny turned back to him.

  “You wanna call them over then?” Danny asked him innocently, as though he hadn’t just given Damian permission for backup to face a potentially extremely dangerous situation. This man was truly either brave or foolish.

  Still, with a curt nod Damian whistled thrice, once long and two short; their signal for regrouping. Even with Father not expecting the change in plans it took no time for him to appear out of the shadows and join them on the roof. Damian watched as Danny tracked his father's path, never failing or backtracking to re-catch sight of the Dark Knight amongst the pitch black.

  “Robin,” Batman intoned as he came upon them, keeping his gaze on target as he asked his not-question. Damian just cocked his head to the side in a silent ‘well?’ to their mysterious informant, breaking him out of the near awed stare he dawned upon seeing his father in the light.

  Danny cleared his throat before giving a smile. “Well, since your wish has been fulfilled you think we could get going now?” He crooked his thumb over his shoulder, “We’re burning moonlight afterall…”

  Damian rolled his eyes behind his mask but nodded, preparing himself for the journey by shifting his feet, getting ready to run. Only, as soon as he got confrontation the Lord of Death’s smile grew impossibly wide and lunged, grabbing onto both vigilantes with deceptively strong hands and pulling them with him into a swirling green tear. Neither could free themselves in time, and so they fell in after the Lord of Death.

tagged peeps: @mnemovoid

#DPxDCshipweek #DPxDCshipweek2023 #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #ghost king danny #danny x damian #danny fenton #damian wayne #damian wayne x danny fenton #arranged marriage #but like #they're getting through it? #let's start as friends #my writing #Ham's fics #dp fic #dp x dc fanfic #dp x dc #danny phantom

[rishtadobara]

10 Rules for a Successful Second Marriage | Rishta Dobara

Marriage - a word that easily rings a bell, doesn’t do when it’s the second one. People might feel that opting for second marriages is an awful practice, and if a person couldn’t sustain their first marriage, how will they be able to do the second. However, luck doesn’t work with everyone. Sometimes people are destined to cross paths after divorcing. So it isn’t regrettable to get married the second time. This is exactly where second marriage matrimony can help you. The first step is to imagine yourself in an open and honest relationship. Don’t let rejection, failure, or past hurt keep you from experiencing the love and intimacy you are destined to get. What Ruins the First Marriage?As the definition suggests, love is a risk. It’s dangerous because there is no guarantee, and your partner could abandon you at any time, betray or stop loving you. In fact, revealing your true feelings may put you at risk of being hurt or criticized. Opening up to our partner can make us feel vulnerable and exposed, but it is the most essential aspect of a relationship. Those of us who have been divorced are all too familiar with the reality of lost love, mistrust, and, in some cases, betrayal. Even if our partner was not unfaithful, we might have the impression that they did not have our best interests at heart or threw in the towel too quickly, opting to divorce rather than work on the marriage. Why keep the rope when it already has a knot in it? As a result, it stands to reason that fear of being vulnerable could be a real issue in second marriages. However, failing to express our deepest feelings, thoughts, and desires can jeopardize our relationship because we lose trust and intimacy. The risks of betrayal or falling out of love become more apparent as we become increasingly disengaged from our partners Couples with baggage from a first or second marriage, on the other hand, may lack the insight and skills needed to avoid the pitfalls that threaten their happiness and success. It’s critical not to give in to discouragement because there will be bumps along the way. If a couple can establish their foundation of trust and intimacy, they will easily be able to withstand the stresses and storms that most second marriages in India and stepfamilies entail. Here are 10 Rules for Successful Second MarriagesWith numerous first and second marriages ending in divorce, it’s time to explore the top 10 rules on how to make a marriage work the second time around: 1. Gradually Open-UpExperiment with being vulnerable in small steps to gain confidence in being more open with your partner. These could gradually deepen your relationship. Discussing minor issues (such as schedules and meals) is an excellent place to start before tackling more significant issues such as child discipline or finances. 2. Stay HonestIn a second marriage, honesty and communication are critical. Be forthcoming about finances, your past, and any relevant concerns with your former spouse and children. 3. Practice ForgivenessForgiveness does not imply condoning the harm done to you, but it does allow you to move on. Remember that you are all on the same team and learn to forgive others 4. Spend time with your PartnerTake time away from your children to do things you enjoy as a couple. A “date night” or couples time can be very enriching – even if it’s just going for a walk or getting a yummy sandwich at a restaurant. 5. Stay RespectfulRespectfully express your thoughts, feelings, and desires. When couples sweep things under the rug, resentment can build, so be vulnerable and don’t bury negative feelings. 6. Clear the AirDiscuss sensitive issues privately, such as money and personality conflicts, but hold regular, informal family meetings (where everyone feels heard) to clear the air and address family issues. 7. Embrace DifferencesDon’t let parenting differences separate you. The stepparent’s role is that of a friend and supporter rather than a disciplinarian. Learn new techniques and share your thoughts. When the remarriage matrimony offers you a chance to find love again, never let these differences overpower you. 8. Build UnderstandingProblems are never over; instead, start accepting that ups and downs are unavoidable. Keep making consistent efforts to be more understanding with one another – as well as with your children and stepchildren. 9. Change your PersonalityIf your personality wasn’t a bright one in your first marriage, try changing it a bit! Make a commitment to working on your endurance and patience. Many of the kinks that come with stepfamily life will smooth out over time. 10. Stay GratefulGratitude can make things work out even if they are on edge. Pay gratitude to your partner for being there for you, each moment when you couldn’t make it to the top. You are the best judge of where you can compromise and where you must be firm. Remember this rule: Any relationship, whether your first or tenth, that requires you to compromise your self-respect is not worth it. Minor lifestyle changes, on the other hand, should not bother you too much, especially if both partners are willing to go the extra mile to make it work. Wrapping UpApart from all the rules mentioned above, the primary ingredients for a successful marriage are the same – trust, tolerance, a sense of humor, empathy, compatibility, and, most importantly, true love. Do not be discouraged if your first-time story does not end happily ever after. As long as the ingredients stay intact, the second time around is always destined to be a winner! Second marriages can even be a bit more difficult because a person already has a set of expectations from his or her first marriage. Furthermore, unresolved issues from the first marriage may cast a shadow on the next one if they are not addressed upfront. Widow matrimony also helps spark love for the ones who have been unfortunate the first time. However, If a couple stays mindful of their actions and makes a conscious decision not to repeat the mistakes of their first failed committed relationship, the second marriage may be happier and a lot more successful than the first one. Connect with us at Rishta Dobara and find love, once again!

#Rishta Dobara #Second Marriages

[jisungsmochi]

the summer ball - haechan

the summer ball - lee haechan

genre: royalty!au, childhood friends to crushes to lovers <3 (intended female reader)

word count: 1.6k

summary: the summer ball was approaching, prompting prince haechan to think to himself: what a perfect time to confess to the girl who has never left my mind since i’ve met her! will he succeed in his quest for love?

request for: @tyongf-sunflower99 (i hope i put the right amount of fluff you wanted HAHAH)

//

visiting your best friend’s palace was on your agenda for this saturday morning. something about the fresh air and sunny atmosphere had you excited to meet with him once again. it was difficult to find time to meet, considering the distance between your two palaces, but nevertheless, your friendship could withstand anything. haechan was always a present figure in your life. from the moment you both were born, you were already destined to be friends, whether you liked it or not. thankfully, you got along well with the loud boy. at times he irritated you with his constant teasing and jokes, but for the most part, he was a wonderful companion. he never expected you to do all the things normal ‘princesses your age’ should be doing. instead, he’d let you rough house with him and his friends, accompany you to archery lessons and so on. it was easy to feel comfortable with him. but you were often worried that you only had him to consider as a friend. of course you had many acquaintances that sufficed your basic needs for socialisation, but haechan was the only one you felt truly understood you.

once the doors to his palace came into view, all your worries seemed to have washed away. you became instantly

jittery, your hands couldn’t keep still. you followed your guards closely as they led you into the grand building. you had a small skip in your step once you reached the main courtyard. haechan was smiling widely, waving at you cheerfully. you signalled to your guards that you were now in safe hands, asking for them to disperse. once they followed your orders, you practically ran to the boy, encompassing him in a warm embrace.

“missed me that much huh?” he chuckled, squeezing you a little tighter.

“on the contrary, prince haechan, seems like you missed me more” you giggled softly before pulling away.

“i cant argue with that, princess” although you knew he was just abiding by honourifics, the way he said it made you swoon.

“so how have things been around here? seems like an eternity had gone by since my last visit” you ask as he walks beside you along the trail that outlines the courtyard. you both kept your hands behind your backs, soaking up the glorious sunlight shining down of the pair of you.

“well, father has been immensely worn out due to the upcoming summer ball, he isn’t too pleased that we are hosting it this year” you nodded, understanding where he was coming from. your family had hosted the summer ball last year, you remembered how stressed your parents were, it truly brought more bad than it did good.

“that’s awful to hear, i’m sure he will plan the most extravagant ball we’ve had yet! this palace is amazing, it’s so perfect for a ball, oh how i can’t wait to dance all night in your grand ballroom!” you internally squeal, running the thoughts through your mind. haechan on the other hand couldn’t keep his eyes off you. he always yearned for eye contact when speaking to anyone, especially you. he thought you had some of the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen, but he could never tell you so. he would be too embarrassed, even the thought of complimenting your looks had him shuddering in fear. fear that you wouldn’t take it well, considering your friendly status with one another.

“ah princess y/n, it’s wonderful to see you again!” haechan’s mother greeted you warmly as you both entered the foyer of the palace.

“lovely to see you, your majesty” you now politely, meeting her warm gaze.

“i assume haechan has brought up the summer ball with you? are you planning on bringing a date?” she asks curiously. you knew it was a playful question, but you couldn’t contain how badly you wanted to go with haechan.

“o-oh no i haven’t put much thought to it yet, i will soon” you nod slowly, avoiding her eyes. haechan stood beside you, finding the interaction quite amusing. his mother excused herself, leaving the pair of you alone once again.

“god you still don’t know how to talk to my mother?” he teased, gently tapping you with his shoulder. you shook your head in embarrassment,

“it’s not her! it’s the question she asked. i didn’t know we had to bring dates? is that a new rule?” you questioned, watching as haechan raised his eyebrows.

“i think she was simply curious if you were perhaps dating somebody, or considering dating somebody” he shrugged,

“where would she get that idea?”

“well you didn’t hear from me, but i eavesdropped on a conversation between my parents and yours. they think it’s a good time for us to begin exploring potential life companions” he explains, catching you off guard. he looks around cautiously before guiding you to his parent’s study.

“but haechan, i don’t think i’m ready for marriage yet, there’s so much more i have to learn about myself” you begin to grow nervous, your best friend sensed it, leaning in closer to you. your breath hitched as his nose almost touched yours,

“me neither, just know that you’ll be my first choice” his words took you off guard.

“pardon?”

“if my parents were to choose my future partner, i hope it would be you” he smiled softly, feeling heat rise to his cheeks at his own words. you too, began feeling warm, partially due to his words but also due to how close he was to you.

“i-i would want the same” you softly whispered back, earning a relieved look from the boy. he pulled you into his chest, rubbing your back as he softly swayed you in his arms.

“princess, would you do me the pleasure of attending the ball with me?” he slowly pulled away from you, hands resting on your forearms. you nodded enthusiastically,

“of course, i wouldn’t have it any other way”

//

the day of the summer ball came rolling by in no time. you had arrived in your carriage with your parents. they too, were beyond ecstatic to be in attendance. haechan’s parents sure knew how to plan such a grand event, it would be the talk of the town for the next few months. your eyes scanned for the prince that would be accompanying you. his eyes met yours as you walked into the foyer of the palace, he greeted your parents politely before asking them to take you off their hands. they immediately complied, adoring the friendship between you both.

“you look astonishing tonight, princess. i should have dressed up more” haechan smirked slightly, offering his arm to link with yours. you smoothly slipped your arm with his,

“thankyou, haechan. you look as handsome as ever, maybe even more than usual” he was at a loss for words, you had never made such advances on him before.

“princess, you shouldn’t say such rash things, my heart may burst” you giggled at his words, shaking your head gently.

“care to dance, your highness?” you practically dragged him to the dance floor. your hands wrapping around the back of his neck as his hands found their place on your waist.

“thank you for accompanying me. it means the world to be spending such a wonderful evening with an amazing woman like yourself” you looked away as he spoke, feeling his eyes gloss over you.

“prince haechan, please stop saying these things to me if your intention is to simply remain being my friend” his eyebrows furrow,

“i’m not saying these things as your friend. i-“ he stops momentarily,

“i think you’re the most beautiful thing in my life. i always look forward to seeing you, something inside me feels like it will burst once you come into my view. the way you carry yourself is admirable. the way you can start a conversation with almost anybody you meet, everything you do, makes my heart beat out of my chest” at this point, you had stopped dancing with him. as everyone was twirling and swaying, you remained still. was this real life?

“i hope i’m not coming on too strong, but i feel something between us. and one day, in the future, i would love for you to be my partner, because, i love you” you felt your heart stop. haechan moves his hand to cup the right side of your face. you had never seen so much concern and fear on his face.

“haechan” you whispered, linking his fingers with yours as you led him away from the dance floor. you found seclusion in his parent’s study, your fingers remaining intertwined.

“you have impressed me beyond my expectations. your confession has come as a surprise to me. when i think of my future, i see you. right by my side. i see us running around in our own courtyard, with our children. i see a lifetime full of smiles and laughter with you. what i want to say is, i-i love you too” his face immediately lightened up, his grip on your hand tightened as he tried to contain himself.

“princess, you have just made me the happiest man on this earth” he wrapped you in his arms, lifting you off your feet for a moment. you squealed at the feeling, gently tapping his shoulders for him to put you down.

“m-may i kiss you?” you lean in closer to him as he let you down, his hands now moving to cup both your cheeks. he didn’t bother answering, placing his soft lips onto your own, his thumbs caressing your cheeks as he continued kissing you.

“i’ll never forget this night” he mumbled between kisses as you pulled him into you again.

“so when are we going to tell our parents?” you question as he stops kissing you.

“let’s discuss that another time, i just want you to kiss me again” haechan smirked, continuing what you started.

the summer ball was surely the event of the year.

#requests ✨ #haechan imagine #haechan fluff #nct dream fluff #nct dream imagine #nct imagine #nct fluff #donghyuck imagine #haechan scenario #nct scenario #nct royalty au #nct au #nct fic #nct haechan imagine #nct haechan #jisungsmochi masterlist #jisungsmochiimagines #nct dream imagines

[jae-canikeepyou]

| kismet | j.jh | part two

pair: jaehyun x fem!reader

word count: 10k+

summary: his parents sends him for a month long vacation to the country side to meet his other half, which so happens to be you. and alternatively, your beloveds asks of you to be in your best behaviour while he’s around. disliking how things turn out, you both come up with a pact with each other before your two families gathers together for christmas eve dinner.

genre: arranged marriage + bad 1st impressions

a/n: this is not proofread and i apologise for any mistakes :p here’s the next one and i hope you look forward to the final soon! enjoy reading! ~j

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| part one | part three (final) |

it was another morning johnny saw you and jaehyun arguing at a distance by the stables. be it inaudible yelling or actions that seemed exaggerated, this time it was a sight that was a little worth seeing. so he walked closer to hear this quarrel.

“you didn’t check the horses’ conditions yet? it’s been a few days and i told you to memorise the schedule!” you flipped through pages roughly that they nearly tore. “it’s your job! you’re the ‘vet’!”

“what? you never gave me any schedule to begin with!” jaehyun groaned then sat back on the hammock to rest and you were trying to get him back up on his toes. “and what if i just want to take a day off today? you can’t force me!”

“check the animals jaehyun. that’s an order.” you sighed, writing down notes to keep updated with the stocks and materials. “i have some things to do—”

“like what? practicing and riding?” he asked and you didn’t answer. “thought so. you rarely do things around here and you still brag about how accomplished you feel.” he scoffed and laid back down on the hammock. “i’m the one doing the work..” he mumbled until it was inaudible for you.

ouch that hit the mark. johnny could see your cheeks bubbling up and eyebrows narrowing at jaehyun’s comment. of course he wouldn’t know that because you usually do not deal with the hard work around the farm. the only job you work hard for was horse riding. you had a reputation to hold as you were the daughter of a renowned family.

jaehyun took a huge inhale as he swung himself like a mother did to lull a child. he sung to annoy you even more and with the ruffles from the papers in your hands, johnny could tell his friend was satisfied making you mad. you bit your hairtie between teeth, tying your hair up into a high ponytail and rolling up your sleeves until the elbows.

he was indeed a huge man, you grabbed the edge of the cloth and pulled him as high as you could. he fell miserably to the hard soil. “ow quit it y/n!” he stood up to dust the impossible dirt from his pants. “you’re just sensitive because what i said is actually true! i’ll get back to work if that’s what you’re worried about.”

he fixed his coat and head straight inside the stables.

you crossed your arms and tried your best to hold your changing expression. “talk about sensitive! you can’t even withstand heavy workload!”

“mentally i can but i’m not physically ready! i didn’t sign up to be your pawn so stop acting like a queen and actually help out!” he grabbed the hay and scattered them in the horses’ place.

the audacity- the fall from three days ago still had an impact on you. “didn’t you hear what i said? i have things to do! now continue that. i have to answer this call..” you sounded irritated and soon your voice sounding further away the more you spoke. jaehyun saw you answering the ringing phone, taking it from you.

before you could, you were draped on his shoulder as if you were a towel. “i won’t take that as an excuse, y/n! you’re coming with me!” he forcibly took the phone off your hands and threw it far.

defeated and exhausted to talk back, you tapped his back because fear was slowly consuming you due to your shoulder pain. “you’re buying me another phone! put me down jaehyun! my back still hurts!” you hit his hips and expected he wouldn’t listen but,

he did as you were told.

“you’re forgetting your condition number one!” jaehyun pointed his temples as anger became visibly seen on his face. “you said ‘you’ll do the work for me and with me’, and they go together!” he threw a small sack of hay to you.

“you’re being an ass because i invaded your day-off!” you stomped to the next horse.

“tsk, i don’t think i can continue this with you! you‘re ruining my well-being every single day!”

“the jeong jaehyun can’t stand arguments?” you tilted your head in frustration and nodded at his silence. “thought so. this is part of the pact you suggested and i’m just simply following it! so if there’s anything, you’re the weak one here!”

from afar, johnny was taken aback behind the fences.

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the kitchen was quiet, the grandfather clock ticking away time and as each second passed, so did your patience. daylight met its end. it was day 14 and your mother asked you to give jaehyun the lesson he wanted to have— bread making. you forgot about it, and jaehyun probably did too because despite staying over for ‘vacation’, every day you either saw him with his friends goofing around the barn or him superglued to his school work.

yet now you were close to smashing his face into the mountain of flour he carefully, and slowly built. mark did a better job despite being clumsy. you can handle clumsy, but you couldn’t handle people with top perfection in their ego, a.k.a., jaehyun.

his dimples were hollowing as he looked intently at the numbers on the scale, waiting for that specific and exact digit to appear with a spoonful of melted butter. “oh my g- you’re wasting time!” you grabbed the spoon and put everything into the bowl. “0.1 or 0.2 grams makes no difference! hurry up and mix the dry to the wet ingredients!”

“i was nearly done with the measurements but you had to dump everything in there!” still he stirred them in a bowl with a whisk anyway. “you’re the impatient one!” he carried the bowl and placed it between his arm and waist, subtly asking johnny to film him.

“uhm what do i do after they’re incorporated?” mark interrupted the heated conversation. so far he was careful and observant with your every move. “do i knead it?”

“after twenty minutes.” you smiled at him. this was great; mark actually made your day at least, a lot better than jaehyun did. “resting it will let the flour hydrate. the milk will be absorbed and the gluten will relax too.”

mark snapped his fingers as he tore a plastic wrap to place on the bowl. “that makes it easier to knead right?”

for a moment you felt like a proud mom. “mhm, you’re learning! you’re originally not my student today but you’re doing a better job than—”

the bowl jaehyun was using fell to the floor. to make it worse it was upside-down, that meant all work done had gone to waste. the dough wasn’t close to incorporated. “..him.”

“crap.” jaehyun swore under his breath. his lashes slowly lifted. “my bad. i don’t mind starting again. i can handle my next batch.”

and though they were pretty, your disappointment came through your sigh. “goodness jaehyun. things are never right with you. i’ll clean this up. we ran out of eggs and milk so you have to go to the farm and get some.” you pulled mark’s arm aside as you began to clean. “mark you can chill for a while.”

jaehyun untied his apron and went out with a bucket, mumbling and complaining to himself at exasperating you were so early in the morning.

johnny then followed him. the pact he heard lingered in his head and thought this would be the right time to ask. “i can do the milking myself john.” he opened the gate to the cattle.

“i know. but that’s not why i came along.” johnny put his camera aside. “you and y/n.. made a pact?” with that question out and jaehyun dropped the bucket, johnny figured that what he heard days ago could be true.

“what?” jaehyun turned on his heel, confused, trying not to sound or look surprised. “why would i make a pact with someone so ill-mannered as her? she’s not worth my time or even interests me.” he affirmed with subtle shaky eyes. “the only pact i know is this marriage our parents put us into.

johnny thought for a while, looking at jaehyun who grew clueless the minute passed. he guessed he was wrong. “n-nothing. i’m probably hearing things. or jumbling scenarios because i’ve been watching too many movies this holiday season. i’m sorry dude.”

deep inside jaehyun let out a sigh of relief, but anger was starting to boil at how careless you were for slipping out. he continued to milk the cows and retrieve a couple of eggs before hearing you call them from the house. “oh my g- she’s screaming again-” he scoffed and tried to walk faster. “i can’t just run i might spill the milk bucket!”

“there’s this thing called speedwalking!” you yelled. “try doing that!”

“you always argue with her. aren’t you both tired?” johnny took huge leaps to escape the cold.

“she isn’t, i am. imagine the amount of stress i get the moment i open my eyes in the morning.” jaehyun vouched and shivered at the thought of it.

johnny opened the door and the warmth met their skin. “sure but when you do bump heads, there’s always a smile on your face after you state your point. i never seen you in a good mood since you and sue broke up. i can take that smile of yours a sign.” johnny noted what he’d been seeing.

“it’s a victor’s smile. it means i win the argument.”

they both entered the house and to find you still teaching mark. jaehyun placed the bucket down and rested on the sofa after being told he could use the kitchen once you were finished. trying to keep warm, jaehyun gave small glimpses of you as he wondered when it would be the right time to tell you about what johnny told him. and because he felt johnny tailing him from behind, he wanted your lesson to be over quick.

“i’m thinking it’s a sign that you have feelings for y/n.”

jaehyun batted his lashes. “no no no. i don’t fall in love that easily. there’s nothing attractive about her and i told you i’m not marrying someone like her, with bad attitude and all—”

“and still you tease her for fun? that’s like a cover-up to hide how you actually feel. you may not see that but in another’s eyes, it means something.” johnny clicked the buttons on his camera, rewatching the videos he took.

“are you throwing the ‘i tease her because i like her’ kind of ego? you know i argue with her because i hate her.” he hissed, flipping his laptop open to double check his reports.

the blonde hair boy shook his head with a growing grin of disbelief. “i’m not. my point is, it wouldn’t hurt to try to know her for who she is.” johnny’s lips flatlined when his eyes trailed to your approaching figure. “who knows maybe she’s trying as well and never really got the chance to- yeah i know y/n he’s all yours now.”

unfolding your arms you playfully hit his back with pressed lips. “shut it johnny. just help the baby lion with the cleaning, he’s not really good at it.”

you sat on the sofa, circling your shoulder to ease the pain before leaning back. “ugh. kneading the bread made it worse.”

with the frequent complaints coming from you, he couldn’t concentrate proof-reading his work. it made jaehyun unzip his coat, fishing something from inside and handed a box to you. bothered with how you hesitated to get it, he grabbed your wrists and placed it on your palms. “take it. it helps me a lot too whenever i cram.” did he just.. smile? it was subtle but you were sure he did.

a swarm of guilt started to form at the pit of your stomach. it wasn’t that you thought he partially blamed himself for the fall at the barn house, but because he actually cared when the fall wasn’t even the ultimate reason why your shoulder suffered in the first place. he had no knowledge and still doesn’t. and it was kind of frustrating to think you couldn’t begin that topic.

your heart now was experiencing somersaults. you asked yourself: why? sure he’s handsome and got built, but at this moment why are you all flimsy and speechless? “so you do have a heart for people.” you opened the box of the patch’s packaging.

“i was expecting a ‘thank you’ but i guess with that you’re taking back your words.” he grinned as he typed on.

you snorted as you put your legs up. “hmpf, aren’t you assumi- ow.” you touched your forehead where the pain stung.

“shut up, i’m reading.” jaehyun stressed in a low voice.

“reading what?” you scooted in closer, and jaehyun surprisingly let you see what it was rather than snapping at you. you squinted at the screen and nodded. “equine studies..” you read out softly, that seemed to be a report he worked on in his early years. “isn’t it mandatory for you to study it?”

jaehyun’s scrutinizing gaze caught you off guard, making you clamp your lips to keep quiet. he sighed and continued to read as if you didn’t exist. “i thought you weren’t interested in my field of study.” his brows drew together at your curiosity despite remembering how you did say it clearly.

quickly you tear the patch’s plastic to break the awkward silence you brought upon and let out a soft chuckle of shame. “i’m asking because it’s equine related and i wanna learn. plus i’m too tired to pick up a fight with you so teach me everything you know.”

“i don’t even know if you’d get it in one night- fine. it’s mandatory but i only learnt the basics. i’m not specialising in it or anything so don’t expect much.” jaehyun stared at the screen yet feeling your presence so close kind of pressured him, and he didn’t know why.

“basics like checking the heart, respiratory rate, temperature and hydration status?” you hugged your legs together after placing the patch behind you. “hm.. that’s kinda simple.”

jaehyun clicked his tongue. “that’s the general checking for an animal’s condition, used for emergency access and such. we were given an understanding of veterinary anatomy—”

“which includes learning principles in developmental anatomy in gross, microscopical and ultrastructural levels. learn all these then you can focus on organs to give a physical and radiological diagnosis with the physiology and anatomy as bases—” you finished his sentence, soon shutting up as you got carried away.

his mouth agaped in shock and in strangeness of your interest. he checked your forehead to see if you were in the right mind. “did you read it out from a book or something? and what’s up with you and scientific terminology? you’re supposed to be hating on big words.”

you wondered why his comment hurt you. did he assume you were uneducated? at this point you thought deeply that secrets were meant to be kept. and they were only to be revealed by two ways; one was heard by others, and two was at your will.

“why are you so quiet now?” he laughed, scrolling down at endless of documented pages. “are you experiencing brain fart after that long sentence of sophisticated vocabulary?”

this was far from assumption. this was plain mockery. and it hurt. you hit him on the arm a little more violent and forceful than the usual, and bite back your lips. “it’s not because i’m dumb. i know these because i’ve been there.” you stood up and grabbed the box he gave you. “thanks for this anyway. good night.”

“hey you don’t have to hit me!” jaehyun paused for a second, he had difficulties processing your sudden outburst. he mumbled to himself, “why is she offended when i’m the one who got hit..”

mark happily came out of the kitchen with a freshly baked bread in his hands. “y/n! i’m done with the bread and it smells soooo good- jaehyun, where is she?” the younger one put down the tray.

he sighed and gestured confusingly. “i don’t know she probably went to sleep.”

“man i wanted her to try it.”

“she can try tomorrow. anyway i’m gonna take a shower.” jaehyun turned off his laptop and headed straight to the bathroom.

but before he could have his relaxation, hendery stood against the opposing wall with arms crossed. “can we talk?” he tilted his head, asking to sit at the veranda with him.

they sat at the table set with hendery pouring cups of hot tea. jaehyun took it in his hands, eyes meeting your childhood friend’s as he brushed his hair up. “i kind of wanna tell you something. it’s not my position but i feel like you deserve to know.” that made jaehyun’s mind questioning more. “i overheard you and y/n talking.”

jaehyun frowned at the very recent event, something he found rude from your action. “yeah? she reacted so much and hit me just because i teased her a little. might’ve taken it too seriously but she should know i was joking about her not knowing-”

hendery looked at the dusk distance. “m’lady loves animals more than anything, and for a long time veterinary science is something close to her heart too.”

jaehyun gulped in full on revelation. that was why you reacted. he realised the reason why you hated him in the first place wasn’t only because he was the one you were to marry, but because he was the person who was currently studying the course you’ve always wanted to take.

“she was supposed to take it in college but due to unfortunate circumstances she couldn’t continue. there’s family issue and she had an accident-”

what accident? jaehyun for the first time in other’s eyes, showed worry and curiosity. and his raise in brows cause hendery to realise he missed out an important detail.

“ah you haven’t met mr. y/l/n yet, right?” hendery asked as he sipped on his tea. “he’s busy right now because he’s always out of town but he’s the one y/n’s having issues with.”

“i’m guessing her father opposed to the idea of her becoming a vet?”

hendery shook his head. “he didn’t oppose. in fact he allowed y/n once we graduated high school. she got enrolled to the first semester and was doing well until she had little time to no practice for her semi-finals at cross country at all. mr. y/l/n is a horse riding coach so he’s especially strict with y/n. let’s say their arguments started from there.”

though he didn’t ask parts of your personal life, hearing all these news stunned jaehyun. there was only one thing he wanted to ask: what caused your accident? “how did she do with vet science?”

“she managed and had no fails.” hendery had a brief proud smile. “sadly mr. y/l/n didn’t find it impressive, because he really thought his daughter would be an equestrian like him. y/n hoped he’d be understanding but yeah anyway, you get the gist from there.”

“if it ever crosses her mind, we’ll see if she does. i’ll head inside for a shower. thanks for letting me know.” jaehyun had his palms on the knob, turning around one last time to confirm something. “was the accident, bad?”

“not as life threatening, but it was enough to traumatise her.” hendery picked up the plates and cups. “she.. still hasn’t recovered.”

he stared back at the young lad’s expression, and he could tell hendery has been looking after you ever since. maybe it was better if he hadn’t asked.

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you still shook your legs after hendery warned you of your decency and image, saying that that action was his pet peeve. but really, it was just an excuse to save himself from you due to the fact he said that shaking legs while thinking wasn’t ladylike at all. you couldn’t keep yourself in one place, pacing back and forth in the barn with marg eyeing you since it already been long you did so. “sis.” she cleared her throat and you stopped being jittery with biting your fingers. “what’s up with you?”

“nothing.” you lied, an uneasy feeling began to build up in your chest as the man you despise gently held the horses’ manes. “i’m fine, just thinking.”

jaehyun did the final checks for your horses’ health conditions and to be brutally honest not only did you find him surprisingly quiet, he was rather kind and collected for four days now. he even taught you some veterinary related topics in which you were surprised he was willing to teach. maybe he took your subtle request when you wanted to learn anything he knew about equine medicine. perhaps he wanted a break from all negativity when it came to you. in fact he did mention he couldn’t continue arguing anymore.

and in those four days it got you thinking about the pact. you had a week left and you weren’t sure if you convinced your family or jaehyun’s friends enough to call off the marriage. yes you’ve been at each other’s nerves for small arguments and there were times you forget about it too because the way you both fought was so natural. however today was just too quiet, like he was stopping the fights on purpose and for what reason exactly?

marg slid next to you when you went out for fresh air, nudging you by the waist with hers. “obvious again.”

“w-what?” you widened your eyes, earning a sly grin from your sister. “obvious about what?”

“your heart is on your sleeves. i can see it. the others might do too. so tell me, do you like jaehyun?” she crossed her arms, her grin widening when you began to be jittery again.

“ha?! no!” you stuttered and lied, and you knew marg’s claims hit the nail.

because not only did the past four days of not talking with jaehyun had a toll on your pact, but it definitely had on your heart. there were a total of four things you discovered about him.

1. jaehyun was a fast learner. he learned to clean horse hooves, saddle them and even did carpentry in one day.

2. he had humour but no one really acknowledged it, and appeared a little dorky to you.

3. his dimples were actually cute and has a vampire smile.

4. he really did have a heart for people too. you saw how he helped out your family whenever you were absent.

sometimes these traits softened you, and sometimes you wanted to at least be his friend. but you weren’t close to being one because the pact clearly prevents you to and in the end, it was better off that way. marg held your shoulder. “i know you fight a lot but that’s when the developing starts.” she paused, looking back at the barn. “jaehyun seems alright but you’re really being too obvious.”

“again, obvious about what? i hate it when you’re so vague stating your point.”

“if you wanna talk with him just do it.” she turned around a little to see the said man removing his gloves. “i noticed you’re both distant. it’s been four days so i’m guessing you’re not used to not fighting him. you tend to miss whatever you both stopped doing.”

you pinched her cheek. “do you even know how mentally draining it is to reason out with him?” you darted a gaze at her before a weight was put upon your head. it wasn’t that long for you to realise it was jaehyun. gosh how irritating. you even recognised the perfume he wore.

“i know exactly how that feels, marg.” jaehyun winked at her. “can’t mess with this one,” he messed your hairdo. “she’s feistier than most animals i’ve encountered.”

his giggle of pride echoed in your ears and you thought you were able to tolerate his reply but no. whether he was doing his part for the pact or not, whether he was enjoying this or not, he became more of a jerk the longer he stayed here.

“i’ll leave you two to talk. the light in y/n’s eyes changed when you arrived- ah!” she held her arm as you pushed her aside, and she was proudly walking away with what she had done.

jaehyun shoved his hands in pockets as he gestured you to follow him into the barn. it was only the two of you now while the rest surveyed other parts of the land with hendery. he held jet’s reins, usually your horse would react whenever strangers would. not to jaehyun, shockingly. you bit your lips in wonders what this man had in his mind.

“i just checked him like you taught me. he’s dehydrated.” he pinched a part of its skin close to the mane. “you practiced this morning right? didn’t give him water?”

“i gave him enough.” you unlocked the gate to jet, soon petting him. you couldn’t help but feel immense awkwardness. “did his skin snap back?”

“not as fast as i expected but he needs a little more fluids to keep the levels normal.” jaehyun wrote down numbers before handing your notebook to you, and you thought today was going to pass again without progress for the pact. “i’m gonna walk around for a bit. later.”

“hey.” you called out perhaps a little too rudely and instead of talking things through. he stopped in his tracks. “setting the vet thing aside, aren’t you being too quiet right when we have a week left? it’s been four days and by now some of them might notice the sudden silence. did you forget about the pact?” you asked, not knowing why you were fuming all of a sudden.

maybe it was because he was only staring at you. or that marg’s obversation was slowly getting to you and convincing that her hunch about you was right. “you’re a jerk when i met you but you’re even more so nowadays.”

jaehyun turned around with pursed lips, he didn’t like how you always assumed, especially giving him nicknames in which his friends also have gotten used to calling him those. “me? a jerk? i’m doing all i can to stop this marriage because we both know how it feels to be controlled.”

his answer only made you laugh. “ha you don’t know anything about me, jaehyun. if you’re actually doing something why haven’t you done anything then? you’re being careless-”

he brushed his hair & wore his cap backwards. “it’s not about if i’ve done something! y/n it’s about what you did!” jaehyun pulled you to a corner in caution if anyone heard him. “you were loud and careless! last week johnny asked me if we made a pact because he heard you mentioning it! i assure you he has a mind i still couldn’t understand and he’s probably trying to connect the dots now-”

“wai- you’re saying he knows about it and you’re only telling me now?!” you slammed jet’s gate, your eyes fixed him. “you could’ve told me right then and we could’ve solved this as soon as possible! how much do you think he knows?”

jaehyun slowly rubbed his face, shook his head and shrugged shoulders. “i don’t know! but you know what happens when he figures out we’re arguing for show? he’ll tell everyone we did that because we’re against this marriage! and in the end? we’ll be stuck with each other for life-”

“ugh don’t even tell me about it i couldn’t even stand the sight of you!” you wrapped yourself more in your coat, stomping straight outside and ignoring his reactions towards you.

“why are you like this when it’s clearly your fault?!” he quickly grabbed your shoulders to forcibly turn you around. “i’m telling you and you’re so reactive about it?”

you pointed at his chest. “no! it’s your fault for not telling me sooner!”

“oh so now it’s my fault? y/n look at yourself! can’t you see that someone impudent like you can cause troubles even for a slightest bit! you’re at fault!”

impudent?.. this was all too familiar and nostalgic.

jaehyun then closed his eyes at the stinging pain in the groin. “ugh what the hel-”

“you deserve that-”

right when that felt good and you wanted to hit him more, you were yanked backwards by a force. you fought back the arms restraining you. “y/n stop!”

“let me go wong kunhang! this jerk needs a lesson!” you growled in his arms, shimmying your body through them.

hendery reminded you of your shoulder and soon you stopped. “i’m sure that kick was enough for a lesson and calm down, will you?”

“jae you alright?” johnny helped him up. “hope it’s not too injured because you still need that for reproduction-”

“seriously? now’s not the time.” jaehyun glared at him then to you, you were now like deer in the headlights with his stare. “this is why i can’t stand you.”

mark, hendery and johnny looked at each other trying to figure what had happened. “what were you two arguing about?” hearing hendery ask, you tugged on your coat once he let go of you. “we heard her yelling that she couldn’t stand the sight of you and then you’re both blaming each other.”

you hesitatingly looked down to your boots, avoiding their curious gazes. fidgety as you knew you were, you tried not to respond. they heard from that far of our conversation.. oh my go-

as if jaehyun could read your mind, he cleared his throat. “it’s nothing. y/n’s just stubborn as usual. she doesn’t want to admit her fault when i told her jet’s dehydrated. guess she didn’t want to look irresponsible.”

“classic y/n.” your cheeks suffered from hendery’s squeezing palms. “how many times do i have to tell you to behave? c’mon you’re better than this.”

jaehyun sighed in relief that they were convinced with his reasoning.

jet’s snout poked your arm and exhaled, you cursed under your breath for not locking the gate. “then you should know why i’m like this.” you reiterated with a flat smile. “i’m gonna go to the bar for a drink. don’t bother me.”

“oh then we’re coming with! mark! you’re driving!” johnny pulled the boys into jaehyun’s car. “this hurt dude needs cheering up after you nearly ended his career for having kids.”

“maybe it’s better off that way?” you grinned with a tattling tone.

“i hate you so-” jaehyun barked before his voice was shut off by the car door. his expression became funnier with how the vehicle muted his voice.

jet and cash trotted slowly to let the car go first, hendery rode ahead of you as you followed him. beside the roadside was fields of green, laying flat with new flowers that have yet to bloom. by now the horses were galloping alongside the car, you could feel jaehyun shooting daggers at you. the joy to horse ride diminished when you took a glimpse of him pointing at you, sliding his clenched fist from left to right and pointing at his chest.

you’re dead to me. he spoke with his eyes. and you could hear his annoying voice in your head.

you flicked the reins to ride faster, passing hendery and cash. reaching the bar first would make you feel better and it would at least let the neighbourhood know you weren’t hanging out with boys like him. you soon unmounted yourself from jet and led him to an area where he could stay.

the bell chimed and you raised your hand for a simple mocktail. funny how you told the boys you’d be here for a drink yet didn’t plan to get drunk. you sat by the bartender’s while you saw them entering and sat at one table by the window. honestly you could’ve went elsewhere instead but this bar was the closest from home. and right now you really needed to clear your mind.

to clear your mind from jaehyun because you knew he’d be the death of you.

—

and how you ended up on the same table with them was too hazy for you to recall.

“i was like, singing my heart out at one karaoke place after i was rejected from the coffee shop i applied to. then the girl of my dreams had appear while i was all sweaty and sloppy and i was shirtless! it was really-” johnny spoke too fast for you to hear and curled his fingers remembering it.

“second hand embarrassment was too much at that point.” jaehyun chuckled and sipped on his glass.

“but john, you got her to say yes even though you’re high and wild.” mark raised his palm for a fistbump.

mark turned to you. “y/n what’s something you couldn’t forget?”

you smiled slyly towards your childhood friend and hendery’s panicked face resurfaced with begging hands. you feel yourself going tipsy but went for storytelling anyway. “this previous halloween i forced hendery to dress as rapunzel because i wanted to dress as pascal.”

mark let out a contagious laugh which had everyone giggling too. you brought out your cracked screen phone which jaehyun broke and showed a picture of you on a piggyback ride with hendery. the said man cowered himself from the compliments and while you continue to keep him in the spotlight. jaehyun found it unbelievable that you were quickly switched from cranky to giggly when drunk.

“here’s the awesome part,” you slurred your words with hiccuped breaths. “around nine guys asked me to ask for his number and i gave it to them! he was that hot! i could never compete!”

jaehyun oddly cackled out loud and you all turned heads to him. “of course you could never! i mean look at you!”

his friends raised brows as jaehyun was enjoying this a little too much. perhaps taking advantage of your drunken self. “you dress weird and your hair’s a mess. you’re always rude and sometimes smelling like a horse. by the way that’s such a turn off to guys like us. like do you even bathe-”

you were definitely tipsy but you understood his words clear enough to feel a wave of emotions blanket over you. forgotten memories began play in your head and began to sulk.

“yeah i know i’m like this and so what if i’m plain and ordinary?” you whined and the boys held their breaths.

“my parents think i couldn’t take care of myself after i dislocated my shoulder at cross-country.” jaehyun heard you.

“because of that they started to pair me with accomplished men they think could give me a better life. so i misbehave every time they bring a suitor over.” you propped elbows on the table and glared at jaehyun. “you’re the fifth and before you arrived i lied to mom and dad that i recovered, hoping they’d stop and leave me alone but nope! they think you’re the one-”

hendery managed to catch your collapsed body from falling. he let out a soft laugh. “mhm, she spills a little too much when she’s drunk-”

you covered his lips and did several clicks of your tongue. “i’m tipsy! not drunk but tipsy! are you spilling tea about my life to that jerk?”

he scoffed lightly. “of course not! i didn’t tell him anything.” he lied.

you pinched his cheek. “i doubt it. you’re a talkative donkey! they should cast you to be part of shrek musical next fall!” you giggled and tried to keep yourself awake from all that drowsiness. your eyes dropping to slumber.

“m’lady.” he fixed you on his side and you were now carried on his back. “jaehyun doesn’t know a thing.” he cooed, giving jaehyun a wink to zip his mouth shut regarding the topic.

small sobs began to bubble out from you, you clung onto hendery. “ah jaehyun? you know that jerk called me impudent? he said i always cause troubles but what choice to i have? i don’t want to be betrothed!” you wailed and mark and johnny raised brows at jaehyun as soon as you said it. “hendery he called me impudent! he’s just like dad and i hate them both!” you leaned on his shoulders.

“but do you really hate jaehyun?” johnny smirked as he enjoyed how open you were compared to being sober. jaehyun noticed where this was going and tried to stop him but the tall lad shushed him when you spoke.

“yes!” you slurred with a lopsided smile and narrow brows, which looked strange as they couldn’t tell if it was a good or bad thing.

“i hate him because he’s so prideful! ‘jeong jaehyun, veterinary medicine student’ my butt. i should’ve been one too but daddy said no.” you pout, soon knocking out. “i hate how.. handsome that jerk looks-”

your friend hopped slightly and quickly got out of the bar so you wouldn’t cause a scene any further. “i’ll bring her to my place, it’s just a block from here. you guys can go ahead.” he told the guys to call it a night. “i’ll take jet and cash to my stables at home. see y’all tomorrow.”

they got on the car and started the engine. jaehyun read the atmosphere among them, he fixed the front mirror and saw mark and johnny with questioning looks. “what?”

“did you really call y/n impudent?” mark played with the buttons of the window.

jaehyun stepped on the pedal to head to your place. his friends bombarded him with what if’s and was too tired to respond. but just to shut them up, he replied.

“i was angry when i said that. i didn’t really mean-”

“do you think she meant it when she said you’re handsome?” johnny asked to cut off the weird vibe lingering while mark propped his fists to rest.

“she’s drunk. not like she can remember it anyway.” jaehyun clenched on the wheel.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

you woke up in hendery’s bed with a tray of breakfast on his desk table. you slid it towards yourself to eat when a folded paper fell from underneath.

i saw jaehyun at the grocery store earlier, he asked me to pass this breakfast to you. also! he said he’ll be at the barn’s loft. now go meet him. ~hendery

great, he pissed you off yesterday and he was the last person you wanted to see today. what was his plan now? he prepared breakfast and yet what was the use of eating the meal when it has gone cold? you tied your hair to a top bun and wore your glasses, quickly grabbing your coat, onto to jet’s back and went to the barn.

the sun’s heat was enough to make you warm on the way there. jaehyun swung his legs while he waited. he stared at the ground when a shadow appeared, you stood at the entrance asking him to come down.

he did that, but there was a different air around him. it was the same air as those four days of silence between the two of you. “at least you’re not late.” he slid his palms into his back pockets.

“did you want to talk to me about something?” you asked with a slice of bread in your mouth. he nodded with intense eyes. “then make it quick. i have to make my rounds-”

“i’ll go with you.” jaehyun suggested and you choked on your bread.

“what?” you gulped on the huge piece stuck in your throat and stopped him from walking. “why not tell me now?”

he pulled you to jet’s stall and pushed your back to mount on the saddle. “‘cause it’s better if they don’t see us talking normally when we’re supposed to be at each other’s throats.”

he’s definitely up to something..

jaehyun rode a bike, leading you and jet through woods and up on a hill where its summit towers part of your family’s lands. from here you could see your house and tiny figures you assumed were his friends. you haven’t gotten a clue why jaehyun was being nice again. and if he was, why today? why bring you all the way here to have this conversation? you couldn’t think of anything at all and maybe you should’ve eaten the meal he prepared for you.

when the winds blew, jaehyun spoke in a soft voice. he was awkward, you could tell that, but what he did was something you didn’t expect. he leaned back with his palms on the grass. “i’m sorry i called you names.”

hm.. you better be.

that apology alone pierced your heart, in a good way. if he was tired from all the negativity and endless banters, so were you. it had been fifteen days after all. maybe this was a cool break before continuing with the pact. “which ones?” you copied his position and counted your fingers one by one. “there’s ugly.. shorty.. lazy ass.. a no brainer-”

“i didn’t call you tha-” he paused, his lips forming an ‘o’ until he pursed them together seeing you mimic him on his laptop. “right. i implied it when you wanted me to teach you equine studies. anyway the bottom point is, i’m sorry for calling you impudent.”

you chuckled, but to him it sounded more of a scoff. “haven’t heard that in ages. never expected i’d hear that again.” you looked at him, he did too, there was a stare down before you spoke again.

“but yeah. i guessed you did that to fulfill your part for the pact. the guys were probably nearby and you thought of that to spark up the conversation. are we done?”

jaehyun rested his arm on his knees. “no that’s not what i meant- i’m being sincere here.”

“okay? then tell me what’s on your mind. you brought me up here. it’s gotta be something worth my time.”

“i feel like the pact just brings the worse out. and whenever it does, i don’t feel myself anymore. like this is not me.”

he picked up a dandelion, letting the wind take its soft pieces. he wished his feelings weren’t easily swayed like the flower’s petals. he knew he was easily hotheaded, stubborn and mr. perfect, but should he always be like these?

“then who is the real you?” you caught some flying pieces of the flower before looking back at him for answers.

“a studious douche who got his heart broken by his ex.” he shrugged and waited for your bicker, but you sat there with shocked eyes and struggled to find what to say. “yeah, in case you’re still surprised, i do have a heart for people.”

“i heard you.” you flicked his temple.

he held back fists from hitting back. “hey why’d you hit me?”

“it’s my way of being affectionate.” you laid on the grass and while he copied, you thought that jaehyun had a point, how the pact seemed a good approach yet with deteriorating results.

“by being violent?” jaehyun moaned as he asked. “ever thought that a pat in the back would be better?”

you glared at him. “let’s continue what we’re doing with another condition.. no personal or evil intentions whatsoever, or maybe a slight hint that we’d start dissing. we’re doing this for ourselves and..” you cleared your throat. “..helping out a friend.”

it made total sense, because he knew how much of an effect it did when the purpose of the pact was done unconsciously and naturally. he let out a tight and breathless sigh between his lips. “i’m your friend? after calling you all that?”

“i just needed something to describe you. would calling you a douche make you feel better after you apologised?” you stood up and headed downhill.

“well you did call me ‘handsome’ last night.” jaehyun singsonged and carefully walked down the stoned steps.

you froze at how stupid and blabbermouth you could be whenever you went to the bar. “i don’t remember, since i’ve been studying the things you taught me.”

“you can ask the others if you think i’m lying.”

“y’know what? i take back the condition i said.” you quickly hopped on jet to head back. “don’t bother me!”

“what do you mean studying? you’re planning to pursue vet sci? hey!”

“yeah.” you made jet walk in circles around the confused man, and your one-word response had jaehyun confirming you already decided to tell your father about it.

and it’d be on christmas eve too.

—

for almost half an hour marg couldn’t contain her feelings after you told her what had happened. marg squealed and you quickly covered her mouth since the door wasn’t entirely closed. she squeezed the pillow and hid herself behind it.

“he apologised?! such a gentleman! i mean mark didn’t really tell me the details but jaehyun really felt guilty?” she put the pillow down and crawled next to you on your bed.

as to why she reacted this way remained unclear to you, you figured it was probably she watched too many rom-coms with johnny in the past few days. “i admit, it was considerate of him to do that. but it doesn’t prove he’s already a good man.” you fixed your files and past researches of veterinary science. “sometimes an apology isn’t enough.”

your sister nudged you in a force causing you to stumble in your stance. “ey you’re too mean. him apologising is already enough of a sign that he’s a good one, and raised well.”

“i don’t know marg.” you slumped on your bed. “my head’s hurting because of him.”

she raised a brow and gave you a teasing look. “by thinking of him or he just couldn’t get out of your head?” she kicked her feet to escape your balling fists.

“why are you reacting if it’s not true?!” her giggles grew in volume as she brought out her phone record your reaction.

“get out of my room!”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

jaehyun walked around the mart in response to yet another order from you. it had to be a day before christmas eve too. he should be feeling the very essence of christmas and because of you, he didn’t. people who happened to pass by him swore they saw a walking corpse, while some sensed a spreading dark cloud hovering above him.

his demeanour quickly shifting and changing as if the clouds blocked his rays of sunshine. he was mumbling to himself and those who stood close by took careful small steps away from jaehyun, for he sounded like he was enchanting a spell.

he thought about it a lot— whether it there’d be a difference between the two of you if you hadn’t taken back that condition. because now that he was controlled like a pawn again, he wasn’t going to back down or lose to you. at least for the past few days since then he saw an improvement. you weren’t as violent, not a single word of hate from you nor were they intentional. it was obvious you were helping out. a small smile managed its way to resurface until he saw a reflection of himself looking like an idiot. jaehyun, you’re a fool. you shouldn’t be feeling this.

ignoring his subconscious, he turned a heel at the next grocery aisle when a voice attracted attention, at least to him it sounded like hendery. hearing your name from an unfamiliar man’s lips had him peeking secretly at a distance. “i suppose y/n’s behaving well with jaehyun?”

“better than everyone expected.” hendery followed him with hands deep in pockets. “aside their petty arguments, she gets along with him, mr. y/l/n.”

“that’s good to hear. i knew the jeong’s would never fail my expectations. their son is in vet school, yes?”

the mentioned name chilled him to the bone. he wasn’t to supposed to be feeling in this manner yet the very presence of your father already had gotten his shoes glued to the ground. hendery nodded and continued to walk along with him. “i hope he doesn’t encourage her about it too much. having y/n marry him would keep her quiet about ever continuing vet school.”

jaehyun’s back grazed the products he lightly leaning upon and stood still in his thoughts. he wasn’t the type to eavesdrop on others, let alone your family issues. although he was briefly told about your rocky relationship with your father and couldn’t hear much of the conversation, he shouldn’t care or meddle with it but.. did mr. y/l/n really think that?

and he remembered how you told him you’d pursue veterinary.

he fished for his phone with certainty that he would tell you what he had heard. he nearly dropped his phone when it rang and your name appeared as the caller. staring at it for a while, never in his life had he ever hesitated before— given that he was a straight forward person, he wanted to tell you.

and he didn’t know why he decided to keep his mouth shut and stayed behind, instead of doing the opposite. hendery noticed him beside the hundreds of chocolate chip buckets. “oh jaehyun!” he greeted, making your father turn his head around. “come here!”

jaehyun pressed his lips for being caught, steadily and unwilling to go them. he wished that now would be the appropriate time to be walking on super glue, he really didn’t have the mood to talk to your father. it wasn’t the right time as their conversation about you would probably escalate from there.

“hello mr. y/l/n, i’m-” he greeted, unknowingly staring at him longer because you were his carbon-copy.

“i know you’re jaehyun and i’ve been updated enough that i wouldn’t have to be physically at my residence to know your good qualities.”

“glad to know someone’s giving you the correct information.” jaehyun smiled, subtly gazing straight at hendery with more pressure on the tone of the name. hendery then clamped his lips to a close, regretting he should’ve minded his words carefully.

mr. y/l/n nodded with a chuckle— even hendery rarely saw him doing so, ever. and this only proved that there wouldn’t be a better groom fit for you other than the son of his childhood friends. “i like your personality. mind joining me for tea?”

jaehyun read the situation, and what your father was up to. he had to listen for another half hour even though he felt his phone continually vibrating then stopping. he knew it was you, but how could he answer when the person you grew to hate was with him at this moment? one word from him through a phone call would make you go berserk.

anyone could see that jaehyun was fighting a mental dilemma. for anyone it would be an easy question to answer; free food, you’re in. his future father-in-law asked for company, sure why not. jaehyun felt like he only one answer, and it had to be a correct one. he gulped and though he eyes wavered, he agreed anyway. “i don’t mind, but y/n would probably be moody if i don’t return immediately.”

“mhm, no worries. i won’t keep you long.” mr. y/l/n said, and jaehyun didn’t know why he had a small heart attack on what possibly could follow.

he lead him to a restaurant, hendery nudged the troubled-looking dimpled man. “sorry dude. he likes snacking on things but i’ll try to divert his attention so you can go to y/n asap.”

—

the relieved sigh didn’t last long when looked up from the ground. jaehyun spotted you crossing arms with a slight worrisome look. your fingers then pointed at the kitchen window and it looked like his soul left his body and his footsteps on the ankle-high snow. the curtains indoors brushed to one side with his parents facing back from the windowsill at the upper balcony.

his heart was beating his chest as if it wanted to go out. he planned to tell you what he and your father talked about, but in that previous hour he missed out your text messages and calls— not knowing they were that important. now he knew why they were.

you took his phone and clicked on the lock button, he didn’t check your means to reaching him. they were still in the lockscreen. “i know you’re a seenzoner but you shouldn’t ignore important calls! i was calling you an hour ago because your parents came so suddenly. did you know about their change of plans?”

he gave you other paper bag and made his way inside. “no they were supposed to arrive tomorrow.” to you jaehyun seemed grumpy for doing groceries, but it was obviously not the case when kept looking elsewhere. he bit his inner gums in question as to why he was venting out his irritation at you instead of the revelation that was told to him.

you followed him in and began bring out the items to set the remaining food on the kitchen island. something told you not to go overboard with the planned argument you had in mind, but you couldn’t handle the way he was acting now, as well as giving you the sudden silent treatment. behaving this way was such a wrong timing and you decided to cut the silence before it made you feel worse than you already were. “you good?”

“y-yeah.” he tilted down to take a quick look at you while realising lately how you hadn’t been sleeping well. the puffiness under your eyes was proof. he cleared his throat. “uh, i should be asking you but have you been studying.. lately? or have you been staying up all night?” he asked, changing the subject.

he twitched at your outburst excitement with your palms rested on his arm, shaking it vigorously. now that he reminded you, you gestured him for a whisper. “i found another way to stop this marriage without us hurting each other.”

what? his eyes grew big.

“aren’t you hurting me now?” he cleared his throat, referring to the reddening spot on his skin from your grip. he knew what you meant. he knew you’ve been sitting in your bed the whole day, reading e-books and going over past lectures documents.

“if i tell my dad that i’m pursuing vet school again, i think this time he’d let me. i’m confident because i do have a degree in equestrian sport science. imagine the benefit if have a degree in veterinary?” you opened a carton of milk to drink. “i wonder if my credits’ still applicable?”

“you sure you wanna do that?” jaehyun held the top your head, gripping it as if it were a basketball. “it’s gonna take you years to finish.”

“scared to have a competitor in the field, jaehyun?” your voice challenged him.

he wasn’t scared at all, he loved competitions as well as proving he could do things. but, he was scared for you. he knew the outcome of all this because it was already planned out. he was told by your father during tea break before he arrived here.

chills slowly went down your spine with that one, subtle, short silence from him.

“i’m not scared. it’s just that..” you shot up your head at his remark. he trailed off and shut his lips seeing your parents enter the living room with his beloveds.

“just what?” you stared at him with a long hum.

he had to lie and keep his opinions to himself. “are you able to take on hard words in that tiny brain of yours?” jaehyun scoffed, leaning in closer to provoke an argument with his hands patting your head.

“hey! you’re insulting my height, not my brain!” he heard your innocent whines as if they were precious— too precious that he wanted to protect you than to fight you; just for tonight.

and for the first time he was laughing sincerely at you.

week three had you imagining things, that he would look at you so differently. instead of horns they’d be halos, softer looks than tensed ones, and most of all you wonder what changed him within a day. it was confusing that he would show another side of him, then go back to what he was when you first met him.

but tonight? his possibility of change soon went void.

during dinner, whether or not it was right, that choice you made became one of the two things you regret to do and say. your father said his ultimatum in a low voice by the hallway, isolated from everyone enjoying the celebration.

“dad, please. i’ve done what you want. i think it’s time you’d allow me to do what i want.” you kept your head low in all hope this would be your final time to ask. “i’m successful as an equestrian, i hope to be more so as a veterinarian. please let me continue. i don’t want to get married yet-”

“still holding onto it, y/n?” he scoffed and took quick glances at his surroundings. “i’ve done everything for you to be known, raised you to be the best rider out there-”

and he too, held with the same stupid reason. “no dad! i raised myself to be the best because heavens knows how much damage it’ll cost me if i failed you-”

“this is the last time i saying it, you’re never going to be one.”

“but dad! you know how badly i want to be a vet-” you whined and hoping you wouldn’t cry because you promised yourself you wouldn’t.

“y/n you’re marrying jaehyun solely for that reason!” he whisper-yelled, making your heart squeeze tight because you could see how your complaints have pissed him off. “he seemed to be agreeing with me after i invited him for tea.” he fixed his hair.

w-what did he just say?..

he loosened the top button of his shirt; his gaze still scared you like it did that night. he held his temples to reason out with you. “discipline yourself tonight. i do not want hear anything from you about this matter ever again.” the impact of his tone shattered you. not only your mood but with how you perceived jaehyun as a whole.

you couldn’t remember much afterwards, anger roamed around your head and as much you kept your composure, jaehyun has a sharp eye. you’ve been quiet since coming from the hallway, hours have passed too since your father called you upstairs.

“are you alright?” jaehyun leaned on the refrigerator while you took some fruits from it. figured that you were completely ignoring him, he grabbed your favourite sweater to snap you out of your clouded feelings. “are we doing the pact now?”

it was getting suffocating being next to him. the audacity of what he did disgusted you. “hey tell me-”

you shut the fridge’s door with much force, held your breath and went to the sink to wash them. “i’m not doing it. and what’s there to tell you? just because i opened up to you that doesn’t mean we’re already close.” you coldly answered with a irritated look.

jaehyun was abruptly taken back, his hand let go of your clothes. “why are you’re suddenly like this?”

you began washing the apples as well as peeling their skin. “you’re not born yesterday, jaehyun. this is my usual self.”

“no y/n, i’m not talking about-”

“what the hell is your deal?” jaehyun could hear you mumble even with the loud blasting of holiday playlists.

“i just want to know if we’re starting the argument,. it seems like you’re doing your part-”

“you knew all along, didn’t you?” the sound of peeling almost excruciating to your ears but nothing more than his reaction to your question. ‘that my dad would refuse my plead.”

painful as it was, his expression changed. he was colder than the snow outside, heartless as a predator and unresponsive like a dead man. he just stared at you straight, acknowledging it with soft wavers of his brown orbs.

and that alone was enough to break you to pieces.

#jung jaehyun #jung yoonoh #nct jaehyun #nct 127 #jaehyun #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun au #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun fanfic #jaehyun angsy

[silvermoonflowers]

Moonflower Act V

Priestess!Reader x Demon!Bucky

Summary: A morning conversation stirs up doubt.

Warnings: Angst

Act IV

James continued to visit you. But that was only if your family was not at home. And that wasn’t so easy considering there would be at least one member of your family who would stay home with you. Those days when you couldn’t see James, you would sit glumly in your room, staring out the window, wondering if he was alright. 

“James,” You said on one sunny afternoon. You and James were in the parlor, sitting on an armrest together. Much to your embarrassment, James was once again wearing tight dark clothing, but this time without his torso exposed. Since you were sitting so close to him, you would occasionally feel his muscles brush against you. As if to rile you even further, whenever that happened, James would purposely give you a teasing smirk. You tried to ignore his constant teasing by looking at the sparkling moonflower ring instead. “What is the name of the inn that you reside at?”

“Fontaine Inn. Such a nice place.”

You perked up immediately. Fontaine Inn? That was the most famous inn in all of Larissa and like James had said, was quite close to the residence. A bubble of excitement began to rise within you.

“Well then, how about I visit you over there instead? I think it’s better that way since I’m not sure when my family would stay or go out.” But your excitement faded away when James quickly shook his head.

“I appreciate that Priestess, but it’s better not to get anyone’s attention over there. There has been more demonic activity recently and I don't want you to get in harm’s way or raise suspicion from humans,” He said.

You frowned. “Okay...how about we meet at a secret place instead -  “

Before you could finish, James held up a hand. “That wouldn’t work either. For we all know, that secret place that you want to go to could be occupied by demons. And if people saw you frequently at that place, they would see it as a suspicious act even though you are the Priestess. I know you’re already stressed out with your duties, so I don’t want to put you in that situation.”

Well, James did have a point. However you weren’t done arguing yet.

“But I can wear a cloak to hide my identity as the Priestess! I don’t think anybody would care if I go out like that.”

A cold finger was gently pressed to your lips. “No. It’s better this way. Please?”

As he withdrew his hand from your lips, you stared at him. He gave you a small sheepish grin, but you didn’t return it. You didn’t know why, but something in the back of your mind was telling you that there was more than what James had told you. But you weren’t sure. And you weren’t ready to confront him about it...yet.

With a huff, you reluctantly nodded and instead laid your head on his shoulder. James, in turn, wrapped his arm around you and kissed your cheek. One of his hands began to gently thread through your hair. You couldn’t help but give out a little moan at the sensation.

“My sweet Priestess,” He whispered as you closed your eyes in relaxation.

                                                                       ~*~*~

The scent of freshly baked bread woke you up. You winced when you tried to move around. Last evening was just extremely tiring for you and your family. It was supposed to be a pleasant walk. But then so many demons suddenly appeared and tried to ambush you. The ones who were much bigger than the average demon gave you a much harder time to defeat. They were able to withstand so many hits from you and your family that you nearly had to retreat. In the end however, with a combination of yours and Nicole’s spiritual power and the help of a certain demon (who was hiding in the darkness), you and your family were able to wipe them all out. 

But because you and Nicole used up so much spiritual power, the two of you were very exhausted. Nicole had passed out in Steve’s arms while you leaned onto Sam.

“Let’s go home,” Steve said quietly as he brushed a strand of hair out of Nicole’s face before gently lifting her up.

“Yeah, let’s,” Sam said in agreement as you quietly thanked him before gathering your strength again. “Hopefully there’ll be no more demons tonight.”

While your family walked on ahead, you stayed behind for a bit. When your family was a foot away, you looked back. Standing in between two trees was a familiar tall shadow with blue eyes staring at you kindly.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

You could’ve sworn you heard him say “Your welcome” as you walked away.

Oh James…

The blankets were thrown back as you finally got up, though your limbs were screaming from the effort. Perhaps some ointment and stretching will ease the pain. Last night’s fight also made you hungry, evidenced when your tummy grumbled as you inhaled the wonderful bread scent. It seems like Wanda made her delicious bread again.

You ran a hand through your hair as you stepped into the corridor. Voices could be heard from downstairs, presumably in the kitchen, but you were too tired to hear what your family was talking about. All you wanted was some bread and maybe some spread to go along with it...

“Is it me or is the Priestess being distant to us recently?” Pietro had asked. 

You froze.

“Well, it could be because of her stressful duties,” Clint said as he took a bite of bread. “Dealing with so many monstrous demons can do that to you, you know.”

Biting your lip, you stayed hidden in the darkness of the corridor and tuned into the conversation.

“Maybe, maybe not,” Wanda added. “Nicole, has your sister told you anything as of lately?”

“Not really,” Nicole replied. “She just checks up on me occasionally. I assume it’s because of her duties and Mother trying to set her and I up in arranged marriages.”

There were collective groans and you had to stifle a giggle. “Oh man, your Mother is still onto that?” Sam shook his head in disbelief while Nicole sighed.

“Yeah, I know. I don’t like it, at all. But it’s tradition, of course. I’m thinking of speaking to Mother about it though.”

“...That could be it. However I think there is more to that.” Your eyes widened. That was Steve. “Do you guys remember that night when a demon somehow infiltrated our residence?”

Oh Steve. His big brother instincts really were so irritating at times.

“Yeah, I do,” Clint replied. “...Come to think of it, the Priestess never told us what happened on that night. Where did she even get the moonflower?”

“That’s what I keep asking her,” Steve said, his voice taking on a serious tone. “But every time I ask her, she either hesitates or tries to change the subject. Which makes me think the moonflower came from that demon after all. I just hope that that demon didn’t do anything to her.”

“Oh...this isn’t good. He could’ve tainted that flower with demonic energy,” Natasha muttered. “Nicole, are you okay? You don’t feel different do you?”

“I feel fine, Natasha,” Nicole said. “I also feel like my spiritual power was rejuvenated.”

You could hear the relief in Steve’s voice as he responded, “Oh thank goodness you’re alright, Nicole.”

“But still...for all we know that demon probably did it just so he can get close to the Priestess before he kills her. Wanda, do you think you can set up a strong barrier around the residence for tonight?”

“Of course,” Wanda replied. “Anything to protect our family and if that demon tries to come in, I’ll kill him.”

Your heart sank. 

“It’s settled then.”

“Wait, there’s something else that I need to tell you guys,” Natasha said, her voice becoming serious just as Steve’s. “I also discovered something.”

There was silence before Steve spoke up, “Go ahead?”

“I saw the Priestess in the parlor one time. I tried to ask her if she wanted some tea. But it didn’t seem like she heard me. I assumed there was something on her mind. But when I came closer to her, I saw that she was holding a ring...”

Aughhhh Natasha?! Really??!!

You wanted to disappear into the darkness of your room and never come out. You had tried your best to hide the ring from your family, and yet in the end, it was discovered. Were you really so lost in your thoughts about James that Natasha just happened to see you with the ring on that day?

“Well, she could’ve just bought the ring,” Pietro had said. “After all we do go to those markets often - “

“No,” Natasha interrupted. “From what I could see, that ring is really expensive. There’s no way she could afford that. I want to believe that it came from someone within the royal family or someone from a noble family…and yet my instincts tell me that it came from the demon...”

More silence.

“I...I, oh gosh…” You had never heard Steve sound that nervous before. Even when facing the scariest of demons, he managed to stay calm. “First the moonflower, then the ring? You don’t think that demon bargained with her, do you???”

“Guys, guys,” Sam said hurriedly. “Why don’t we go outside, maybe talk a little walk so we can cool off? We’re all stressed out from last night and this certainly is a lot to take in. For now, it doesn’t seem like the Priestess is in any danger. But we’ll find out the truth later, okay?”

“Good idea. Some fresh air would be nice.” You pressed yourself further in the darkness as everyone got up and gathered at the front door.

“Nicole, wait, please.”

“Hmm, yes, Steve?”

Hoping that no one notices you, you peeked out from behind the corner. Nicole and Steve were  the only ones at the entrance now. Steve’s cheeks seemed to glow as he looked at Nicole with fondness. 

“Are you sure you’re okay, Nicole?” Steve said softly as he gently laid his hand on her shoulder. “I just want to make sure…”

Nicole smiled up at him as she took his hand into her own. “Of course, I’m fine, Steve. My sister definitely wouldn’t give me something that is dangerous. Please don’t doubt her. And even if she did have a secret, maybe she did it to protect us. Sometimes there are things that we aren’t ready to tell. But I will talk to her after our walk.”

“I know...I’m just worried about you and her since we live in a dangerous time...but I’m so glad that you’re alright.”

Steve ruffled Nicole’s wavy hair and she let out a laugh. Your heart swelled at the touching moment between them.  “Hey, don’t mess up my hair! Now I have to mess up yours!”

“Not if you catch me first ~ !” Steve stuck out his tongue teasingly at her before racing outside. The door closed as Nicole quickly followed suit. You stared out at that same spot for a few more minutes before letting out a frustrated sigh. Then you put your hands over your face. 

All of a sudden, you weren’t hungry anymore. The soreness in your limbs had seemingly faded away. Even the cute scene that you had witnessed just a few minutes wasn’t enough to erase the troubled thoughts building up inside of your mind.

You knew that someday your family was going to discover your secret. Trying to keep it to yourself wasn’t so easy with your duties and all. And all that delaying wasn’t going to last forever either. But how were they going to react when you tell them the truth? Whatever the outcome was, you knew it wouldn’t turn out so well.

“Priestess, are you alright?”

Oh no.

“J-James…” Your hands slid down your face in horror. “W-why are you...?”

He was dressed handsomely again. However, his long dark hair was rather wild, as if he forgot to comb it. If it weren’t for the situation you were in, you would’ve laughed at how silly James looked with all that messy hair. 

“I’ve...felt your distress from Fontaine Inn. I couldn’t help it. I just wanted to see if you’re alright…” There was a sympathetic expression on his face as he approached you. 

Pushing aside all doubts, you let out a sob and threw yourself into James’ arms. Tears stained James’ shirt, but it didn’t bother him as he whispered comforting words to you. One of his hands began stroking your hair while the other hand wrapped your waist. You didn’t care that his hands were cold, because these were the same hands that soothed you when times seem tough. 

“Oh James...I think my family is finally finding out what’s going on between us…what do we do?”

James didn’t respond at first. In fact, his hand had stopped moving after you said all that. All you could hear was the sound of his heartbeat. When you looked up, you saw that James’ expression was a mixture of worry and terror. 

“Oh my dear Priestess,” James murmured after a while. He leaned forward and kissed your tears away. Oh, his lips felt so nice. “I’m so sorry for letting this happen. I only wanted to help. I would never do anything harm to you and your family. However...I think the only way to fix this is to...perhaps run away with me?”

“What!”

You couldn’t believe what he had just said. Run away? To where? And in a world filled with demons and vengeful spirits that would never stop haunting their targets? You tried to see if James was joking in his mischievous way, but he was looking at you very seriously.

“James...you can’t be real! That means I have to abandon my family, my kingdom, and my duties! I can’t do that! That wouldn’t be…!”

“Fair.” James’ blue eyes softened. He gently pushed your head to his chest. “I know. I’m sorry. I’m just being selfish. I really like you, you know?”

Fair. Now that you thought about it, you realized that what you had said to James in return wouldn’t be fair to him either. You didn’t want to leave everyone and your duties behind, but you didn’t want James to be gone from your life either. Just why was life so complicated?!

You sniffled. “I know. I like you just as much. You’ve done so much for my family and I. You should come here and live with us. You’ve done so much for us. It’s the least I can do...”

“I would love to live with you and your family.” James led you to the parlor and set you down on an armrest. He grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around you. You muttered a “Thank you” to him as he sat beside you and laid his head on your shoulder.

“I actually feel like I’m the selfish one,” You said as you brushed James’ long locks. But you said it in such a hushed voice that you presumed James didn’t hear you. However, he looked at you and his widened eyes told you otherwise.

“Why do you say that, my dear?”

“Because I’ve been keeping quiet about the moonflower and about you as I know they’re going to get upset with me!” You were this close to pulling your hair out.

“I don’t think you’re being selfish.” As if he knew what you were going to do, James slid his hand over to yours. His cool thumb rubbed circles over your soft skin, which sent tingles down your spine. “Things are already tough for you. I...made it even worse for you…I apologize.”

“Oh James, don’t say that. It’s not your fault!”

“It is…” James murmured. “But if you do not want to run away with me, then the only other option...is to tell them the truth.”

You lowered your head in defeat. Right. That was the only other option and one you had been avoiding so much. 

“Do not worry, my dear.” James soothed you as he pressed a kiss to your cheek. “I am right here with you. I will even give them my explanation. It’ll be alright.”

Will it???

You have learned in the past that things never turned out to be alright in the end. Life was wonderful and yet at the same time, it was painful. It seemed like an endless cycle. You would’ve preferred where life didn’t have so much suffering, where everything could be so easy. Would a wish like that be granted?

“Priestess! Get away from him!”

Your blood ran cold while James flinched. Your family was back already?! How did you not even notice?! 

But...this was it. The inevitable had come. Yet, you couldn’t face them first. But slowly, oh so slowly, you looked up. Your family was standing at the entrance of the parlor. Their weapons were drawn while they all fiercely glared at James. Before you or James could protect protest, Wanda stepped forward, her hands clenched and her eyes starting to glow red. “No need to hide your presence from me, demon.”

#demon!bucky x reader #bucky x fem reader #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x fem reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #writings

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: That Old Thing Back {One Shot} ***

Charlie Hunnam x Ex-Wife Reader

Warning: Cursing, Angst, POV Changes, LOTS OF WORDS, NSFW, Mentions of miscarriage

Words: 8,888k 

Note: Okay, this is a first for Charlie. I am not familiar with his mannerisms at all, so I hope this hits well. If not, anon, I am sorry. As always, thank you all for reading! Also, y’all see 8888 words. 8888 must mean something right.

 ***Loosely Edited/Proofread***

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you meet someone, within minutes, you know what you want from them. After the first conversation, you know what capacity you want them in your life. After a week, you know just how you feel about them. Charlie could attest to this. When he first saw you, he couldn’t keep his eyes off you. He was mesmerized by you and just sat and marveled as you danced around the great lawn of the park he happened to be in that afternoon. You looked carefree and so full of life. Nine other women were dancing with you, but he could only see you.

 That led him to stalk you for the remainder of the afternoon. Once the class was finished, he followed behind you and listened to your conversation as you walked through the streets and fell deeper under your spell. Your voice was like a finely tuned melody that sounded better than any song he’d ever heard. He sat in the same restaurant you did and just watched you as you spoke and laughed. Every story you told was so animated he felt like he’d been right there when it happened. You were the most captivating creature he’d ever seen.

 By the time he knew what had happened, he’d pushed his entire day to the side and had followed you, and he didn’t regret one thing. When he least expected it, you confronted him and called him out on his stalker antics, and that only made him want to know you more. It was the perfect imperfect meet. From that day, the two of you had been inseparable. You spent all your free time together. When he told you his aspiration to be an actor, you didn’t laugh or tell him to forget it and be more practical. You were his biggest supporter, and he fell harder for you.

A whirlwind, passion-filled eight-month romance led to him proposing and begging you to spend your life with him. When you excitedly screamed yes and leaped on him in the middle of the restaurant, everyone around you elated and showered you with applause and well wishes. The two of you didn’t bother waiting. A month later, you were married and more in love than ever. Neither of you were prepared when CJ came around, but it made your love deeper, your marriage stronger.

 You were by his side as he struggled through audition after audition, waiting for his big break. You were there rejection after rejection, always having his back and pushing him never to give up. You were his backbone, and when that role came, you were right there for him. The rolls came in one after the other, which meant he was gradually becoming busier and busier. Before you knew it, he was always on a movie set, and you were always home with CJ.

 No one prepared him for the struggles of marriage, a baby, and his budding career. He was warned about it by his agent early on, but he swore the two of you had what it took to withstand any and all struggles. He hadn’t factored himself in as a struggle. Thanks to his rapid rise to fame, everyone wanted a piece of him, and when they took their piece, there was none left for you. The arguments increased, and the miscommunication and unsaid words took a toll. The space that formed between you was wide enough to classify them as chasms.

 It seemed like he couldn’t do anything right. Everything he said was wrong. When he took a weekend off of work, it was wrong because you found it clear he would rather be working. When he tried to get close to you for any affection, you were always tired from your day with CJ, and every time you tried, he was too busy. He got lost in the Hollywood lifestyle, the parties, the socializing, the life that was bullshit, and had nothing on you or CJ. He turned into the monster in the fairytale, the monster that mothers warned their daughters about.

 He’d lost track of how many times he’d heard you crying, lost track of how many times he’d struggled with what to do, how to be. It wasn’t that he wanted to hurt you, he just didn’t know how to be who you wanted, how you needed him to be. The last straw was him missing your birthday to remain at the Cannes Film Festival, the festival he got pictured in a compromising position. One he was entirely at fault for, but one where absolutely nothing happened. The last thing you said to him was, “Your priorities are all fucked up, if you don’t want us fine I’ll solve the problem.”

 He came home to divorce papers and an empty house and not too long after you were in the hospital suffering from a miscarriage. A miscarriage the doctors blamed on stress, a miscarriage you blamed on him, a miscarriage he blamed himself for. After that, you made it clear you were done with him. He had the thought to contest and fight for you, but he knew the same problems would still be there. He had to face the facts that you’d probably grown too far apart, and that he would only cause you pain. He had to let you go. So, let you go he did.

 Groaning, he rubbed his face trying to keep the sleep at bay. The sound of the waves at his Malibu home was the soothing back noise he needed. It was the same noise that propelled him deep into his state of depression. It was a sate he’d been fighting for the last year. He’d been mostly successful, but tonight was hard. Tonight, was the anniversary of what would have been your seventh wedding anniversary.

 The whole night he’d been haunted by memories, haunted by feelings, and haunted by every regret he’d held on to for the last near two years. He thought of scenarios where he should have said something when he hadn’t said anything. He thought about the times he didn’t do something when he should have dome something—anything. He regretted everything that led to this point, the point where he had no wife and a son he was missing that was growing up without seeing him every day.

 “Fuck!” His shout was loud, and though the beach was vast, it still somehow echoed around him. There was no escaping you. He’d tried like hell every day, especially when you moved said the most hurtful words you’d ever said to him.

 -Fourteen Months Earlier-

 “Leave Charlie; you’re good at that.”

 “That’s not fair, Y/N, and you know it!”

 You spun around with pure vitriol radiating from you. “Fair! Do you know what’s not fair? It’s not fair that I’ve been by your side through everything, supporting you and loving you fiercer than a mother lion to her cubs, birthed your son, held you down through everything, the struggle, the good times only to have you do this!”

 “You’re the one who left me, Y/N!”

 He knew he shouldn’t have thrown that at you. He knew it was a bad idea.

 “Let’s be real. You left me long before I left you! Plus, what was there to stay for, a man who turned out to be my biggest mistake?”

  -Present Day-

 With his phone in hand, he pulled up your contact. It was one that he stared at so often—too often, he opened up his messages and did the only thing his head told him to.

 MSG My Wife: It’s insane today would have been our 7th anniversary. Seven years. The day I said those vows to you were the happiest day of my life until the day you told me about CJ. I thought seven would be just the beginning for us. I fully expected seventeen, twenty-seven, thirty-seven, seventy. I probably shouldn’t be sending this, but there was no way I could fight it. God, Y/N, this has always been my favorite day. Now it’s one of the most painful.

 He tossed his phone on the side table and dropped his head back, praying he could forget and move on. It was clear you’d already done it.

 As if that wasn’t enough, to add insult to injury, four days later he was staring down at the date your divorce was finalized. It was irony at its best and a just punishment for him. He’d been suffering the last year, so much, so pain felt like his best friend. He just wallowed in everything he’d lost, wallowed in it with no intention to pull himself out. It was that same pain that had him on this interstate driving out of LA to the place he shouldn’t be going anywhere near.

 When he pulled up inside the yard, he sat in his mustang for much longer than he should have. He looked around at somewhere he was familiar with but only loosely. He looked at the toys scattered on the lawn and smiled before it slipped and was replaced with sorrow. After taking a deep breath, he got out and walked to the door. He hesitated before his knuckles rapped on the door, then he waited.

  ~~~~~~~~~

-Y/N-

“CJ, please put this hoverboard away before I break my neck!”

 You wiped your hands on the dishtowel as you made your way to the front door. Your son was single-handedly working overtime to break every bone in his body. You’d heard that raising a boy would be difficult, but you were not prepared. He was a handful and a half, especially since he was the carbon copy of his father. Not only did he look just like him down to his blond hair, but he also had the same interests—skating, hoverboarding, biking, and soccer. Those were just the beginning of their similarities. With your head lost in thought, you didn’t see the fist-size fire truck that was lying in wait for you just in front of the door. You hopped and did your best football scrimmage to avoid the tragedy you foresaw.

 “Jesus Christ! Charles Matthew Hunnam, Junior!”

 You could hear the barrage of footsteps as he came running. He knew when you used his entire name; he was in trouble. As sure as the sky was blue, he came bounding around the corner with his blond curls bouncing and honey-chocolate sun kissed complexion on his way to you.

 “I’m sorry, mommy,” he sheepishly breeched as he bent to the floor to gather the death traps he’d left for you.

 “How many times have I told you to pick your toys up when you’re finished?”

 “I’m sorry, I forgot.” He looked so sad now and gave you those blue specked hazel eyes that were such an interesting mix of yours and Charlie’s that you were always a sucker for.

 Groaning, you shook your head affectionally. “Try to remember, honey,” you softly reminded. CJ nodded and threw his arms around your midsection. These were the things that made your day. The doorbell rang then, reminding you someone was there.  “Take them up, please.”

 “Okay, mommy.” You turned from him and continued your walk to the door. When you swung it open, you were shocked half to death to see Charlie standing on the other side.

 “Charlie,” you gasped out. Once CJ heard his name, you heard the clatter of the toys he must have just had heaped in his hands.

“Daddy!” You heard him running, and in seconds, he bound into Charlie’s waiting arms.

 “Ah! Hey, buddy!” Charlie stood and held onto CJ like he was his most favorite thing in the world; it was the same way CJ held onto him.

 You stood there and watched them half warmed by the sight of father and son and their evident love for each other and half seething that Charlie was there in the first place. He knew better than to show up unannounced. The only way this worked was if you had time to prepare yourself to see him. This was unexpected.

 “I missed you, daddy.”

 “I missed you too, CJ. Gosh, you look like you’re growing like a weed,” Charlie surmised, placing CJ back onto the ground.

 “I am, mommy says I’m half her height.”

 “Oh, is that right? So half her height means you’re still a ways behind me. I guess I better go back to eating my veggies,” Charlie joked. CJ found it funny, even if you didn’t.

 Clearing your throat, you brought the attention of your ex-husband to you. his smile faltered. “What’re you doing here, Charlie?”

 “I uh—I wanted to see CJ.”

 You dropped your head and sighed. This was going to turn into an argument.

 “I wanted to see you too, daddy. Can we do something? Can I show you my new bike? Then can we go down to the lake, and I can show you my new trick?”

 “Hold on there, bud. We gotta ask mommy,” Charlie said on a chuckle.

 “Can we mommy, please, please, please, please!” CJ was pouring on all the emotions and sweetness. You didn’t have the heart to say no.

 “Go ahead, have fun. Please, no broken bones!”

 “Thank you, mommy.” His hug was quick before he was grabbing hold of Charlie’s hand to yank him away. As he did, Charlie looked back to you with a melancholic smile, one you refused to read into.

 When you walked back inside, you were the one to pick up the toys you’d just told your son to pick up. You didn’t mind this time; you needed something to keep yourself busy. Picking up CJ’s toys turned into rearranging some of the things in the living room, and that turned into sweeping, then vacuuming and finally mopping. You could hear the jolly screams and laughs from inside the yard, and though it made you happy to hear how happy CJ was, it also filled you with a hint of sadness, one you’d worked hard to ignore.

 Every so often, you found yourself drifting to the windows to watch on as the two of them played. Every time you looked out, they were doing something different. Once it was tricks on BMX bikes, another time it was weird acrobatics like handstands and flips, and when you looked out once and saw them actually building mud monsters, you nearly lost your shit at how adorable they were together. That was when you stepped up the cleaning and began cleaning the kitchen.

 Once the cleaning was finished, you moved on to starting dinner. An hour passed then two, and you were in the thick of things. You’d only intended on cooking lasagna, but that turned into lasagna with sautéed broccoli, and garlic bread and dessert. It was apparent to you that you were anxiety cooking. Before you finished, though in they bounded downright filthy but over the moon.

 “Mommy, look!” CJ ran to you completely covered in a mixture of dried and wet mud with grass stains. He looked ready to throw his arms around you before you scurried behind the kitchen island.

 “Charles Matthew Hunnam, don’t you dare get me dirty.” His laughter was loud.

 “Fine, but look what we brought you.” He held out a bouquet of handpicked flowers of all varieties. A smile stretched across your face. You knew it was going to happen before it did.

 “You picked me flowers?”

 “Yup, it was daddy’s idea, then we had a competition who could pick the most. I won,” CJ happily boasted. The tears welling in your eyes could not be stopped from spilling.

 “Thank you, CJ, they are gorgeous. I love them almost as much as I love you.” CJ’s smile was just as wide, and your heart melted.

 “If you weren’t as filthy as a lost boy, I would hug you and kiss you, so if you want that hug and kiss, you better get showered.”

 “Okay, mommy.” CJ began to run away but stopped and came back to stand before Charlie. “Are you going to leave now?” His tone was low, and he looked like he was about to cry.

 “Uh—well, I hadn’t planned on staying this long.”

 “No! No, no, stay please, please, please. Mommy said she was going to make lasagna. It’s my favorite,” CJ rattled on.

 “Mine too,” Charlie admitted. You knew it.

 “Mommy, daddy loves your lasagna too; can he stay for dinner with us? Please, please, pleeeeeeease!”

 “CJ, I’m sure that your dad has things he has to do.”

 “No, he doesn’t, I asked outside he said he has nothing to do. Please, mommy, for meeeeee.” His whine was becoming incessant, sighing you accepted defeat.

 “Okay, only because I’d do anything for you.” CJ smiled widely again then hugged Charlie before he ran off, leaving the two of you standing there.

 “Uh—I can take shower duty, or have you transitioned him to alone ones?”

 “He’s all yours.” Charlie nodded and walked up the stairs where CJ just disappeared from.  

 Once alone, you looked at the flowers in your hands and ignored the flutter in your belly and the sight of one of your favorite wildflowers, dab smack in the middle of the bouquet, the one only Charlie knew about —poppies.

Nearly forty minutes later, dinner was underway, and it felt like old times, the times during your marriage before things went to shit. CJ talked about everything under the sun. He told Charlie all about his soccer schedule and who his friends were in school this month, he even told him all the gossip in his class. It was like he was making up for the last three weeks he hadn’t seen him. That made you sad, but you knew it was just how life was. Charlie was now a full-fledged movie star, and though his star rose years ago, it was still rising. Thanks to his insanely successful show, Sons of Anarchy, his name was a household one, and it came with thousands of thirsty groupies.

 Charlie laughed loudly as he threw his head back, clearly amused by one of CJ’s stories. He truly looked to be enjoying himself to the fullest. You’d long known that CJ was the best thing that had ever happened to Charlie. You’d spent long nights talking about just how much he loved that little boy and everything in you loved to hear him talk about how enamored he was with him. You knew that would never change, no matter what happened between the two of you.

 A little more than halfway through dinner Charlie’s eyes met yours, and it felt like forever ago that you’d looked into them. They looked different, sadder, more detached, and full of something that looked like pain. He looked different to you now than he had months ago. Maybe he was different, you thought.

 “Mommy, can I have dessert?”

 Snapping out of it, you smiled and nodded to your son. “Absolutely, a slice of pineapple upside-down cake coming right up.” You stood and walked into the kitchen to fix three plates of the dessert. When you came back, the two of them were doing thumb wars. Shaking your head, you put the plates down and tried not to think about how much different things could have been.

 The three of you ate your sweet treat and continued to emulate the perfect family. Once dessert was finished, Charlie was the one to initiate doing the dishes something you remembered he promised on your wedding day to do when he loved you the most to show you he cared and appreciated you. There was no way that was the reason now. While he did the dishes with CJ, you busied yourself with finding yet another thing to clean. It was a habit at this point.

 After the tidying was completed, you sat in front of the TV to watch an episode of CJ’s favorite cartoon, The Last Airbender. Through the entire episode, he and Charlie whispered and chatted about the episode then pretended to be from warning nations while they did their bending. It was then you faced how much you missed nights like this. It had been close to two years since the three of you spent time together like this. It was done on purpose. You didn’t think you could handle it. You had no idea how you were now.

 Before you knew it, the time had run away, and it was now almost ten. After telling CJ to get into bed, hit the bottle of your go-to liquor, hoping to find some form of strength to hold you up. Having Charlie there playing doting dad and husband as if he was no longer a part of your life hurt, it hurt a hell of a lot. You still had some animosity about the way things ended.

 When you made it upstairs, Charlie was sitting at the foot of CJ’s bed looking as if he were about to read him his bedtime story. “Oh, it’s cool. You guys go ahead,” you began.

 “Mommy, can you both read to me, like how you used to,” CJ pleaded. That was like a knife to the gut. You’d made CJ your top priority your whole like, and when you and Charlie began to have problems, his happiness was the only thing the two of you agreed on. You didn’t want him to feel as if he were missing anything, but right now, you saw he felt the void.

 “Of course, baby.” Walking around the bed to CJ’s pillow, you settled in your usual place and lifted your bare legs into the bed to cuddle beside your son. CJ dropped his head on your chest, where he knew he could listen to your heart. It was an action he’d always done ever since he was a little boy.

 You kissed the top of his head before you began. “Ready?” CJ nodded. Charlie held out the book to you, but you shook your head. “I’ve got it memorized. You keep it.”

 You took another breath, then began. “A mother bird sat on her egg. The egg jumped. Oh, oh! said the mother bird. “My baby will be here! He will want to eat. I must get something for my baby bird to eat! She said. I will be back! So away, she went.” CJ burrowed deeper into your side, making you smile. When you looked up, Charlie’s eyes were glued on the two of you. Nodding, you signaled for him to take over.

 Charlie cleared his throat and took a breath. “The egg jumped. It jumped and jumped and jumped! Out came the baby bird. Where is my mother, he said? He looked for her. He looked up; he did not see her. He looked down; he did not see her. I will go and look for her. So away, he went.” He read it without looking at the book. He just stared at CJ.

 With your turn, you read the next few pages, but you couldn’t keep your eyes off Charlie. He watched you as you watched him, and it was the most perfect thing. For the next ten or so minutes, you read the book to your son together. When he spoke, he never once looked down at the pages, never once broke the eye contact between you. The only time he glanced from your eyes was to look into his son’s. There were so many instances you had to stifle the flutter of your heart, and countless times, you found yourself looking over his hands and forearms. Even when he caught you, you didn’t seem to care. His voice coupled with how enamored he looked with CJ and vice versa and how rugged he looked, was wreaking havoc on you, especially when you remembered the miscarriage. Once you remembered that, a bitter taste filled your mouth, which brought you back to your reality.

 “All right, prince charming, that’s it,” you gently informed. CJ was still wide awake.

 “Aww. Does that mean you’re leaving now, daddy?” Charlie sighed, and it brought your attention to him. He looked equally as distraught as CJ did. The pit of your stomach knotted. This was never the fun part.

 “I’m afraid so, buddy.”

 “No. Stay, please. I don’t want you to go. I won’t see you for weeks. I miss you. Don’t you miss me? It’s like you don’t like being here with me or with us,” CJ rushed out. You could hear the pain in his voice, and it broke you in two. Looking at Charlie, you could see it was the same for him.

 “Of course, I miss you, buddy. I miss you more than I have the words to say. I always want to be with you, to be here, but you know that’s not our life anymore,” Charlie carefully explained.

 “Baby, it’s all right. Your dad loves you more than anything in this world,” you assured, hoping to smooth things over. It didn’t look like he believed one word you said.

 “Bud, I’ll be back tomorrow, I promise.”

 “I don’t believe you!” With that, the silence in the room was heavy. Charlie looked at his wit’s end with how to console him, and you knew what to do, but you didn’t think you had the strength. You could feel CJ’s tears, and that was the last straw.

 “Look at me, CJ.” Slowly he rose his head to you. you wiped his cheeks and kissed his forehead. “He’ll be here when you wake up.” It was a whisper because that was all you could muster.

 “What?” Charlie’s shock was evident. You looked at him and sighed.

 “You should stay. He needs this—he needs you.”

 Charlie searched your eyes before he spoke again. “Are you sure?”

 No, you weren’t sure. This was probably a bad idea for you, but for CJ, it was the best solution. Nodding your response, you looked back to CJ.

 “He can stay, mommy?” His smile was right back where it should be.

 “He can stay love, but you have to go to sleep.”

 Yayy!” CJ threw his arms around you to show his gratitude and excitement. You kissed him once more then stood.

 “Bed.” CJ kissed your jaw, then dropped back onto his bed and snuggled in his covers.

 “I’m going to stay; it’s been a while since I’ve watched him sleep,” Charlie whispered. Nodding, you walked out the door, leaving it slightly ajar.

 Again, you busied yourself preparing the guestroom, hoping the movement would distract you from not only thinking but worrying about the ramifications of your decision. This would be the first time in almost two years you’d slept under the same roof. Divorced meant over and done with. Of course, divorced with a child didn’t give a shit about over and done. He’d forever be in your life.

 The message you’d received from him a few days ago reminded you of just that. It was the most unexpected thing, the most heartbreaking message you’d gotten from him in a long time. It was so heartbreaking you had to lock yourself in the bathroom with the faucet and shower running to hide the sounds of your bawling from CJ. You ended up hiding in there for close to an hour, and even when you reemerged, you were emotionally unstable for the remainder of the evening. You were so emotionally unstable; there was no way you trusted yourself to respond, so you left it on read. What the fuck were you supposed to say to it anyway?

 After changing the sheets and straightening up a few things, you retreated to your bedroom for some quiet time, quiet time you desperately needed. You didn’t know how to get through the next twenty-four hours. You were struggling. Staring in the mirror, you objectively looked at yourself. You saw the truth, you always had. You just couldn’t afford to let that truth slip to the surface.

 The knock at the door had you leaping to your feet. When you opened it, there was Charlie, and your stomach liked what it saw.

 “Fast asleep?” He nodded and looked down at the floor.

 “I don’t have to stay in the house. I can sleep in my car,” Charlie suggested.

 “I’d do anything for you—for CJ.” The way he said it had your heart racing.

 “It’s fine. I have space. Come on.” You walked out of your bedroom and down the hall leading him to the guestroom you’d just prepped. When he walked into the room, you watched as he looked around.

“I just changed the sheets; they’d been on for weeks. It should be all good.”

 He turned to you, nodding his head. “Thank you, love dove.”

 The name hit you like a mack truck. You audibly “oofed” as you wrapped your arms around your midsection, instantly feeling the effect and the loneliness it brought on. He used to always call you that name, a day would never go by without him whispering it in your ear, against your neck, or your lips. You were brought back to happier times where you’d be locked in your room in bed, just ravaging each other, and he’d whisper it the entire time.

 Charlie must have been going through the same thing you were because he looked regretful before he spoke. “Sorry. Old habits.”

 Again, your stares lingered, and the air in the room was heavy and hot. It was like the last year or so didn’t happen, like he hadn’t broken your heart. He still had an effect.

 “Good night.” It was quickly said, and your exit was just as quick. You spent the next forty or so minutes in the shower. You hoped it would help to calm you down, but it didn't do that, it just gave you more anxiety.

 When you got out, you began to wonder if you’d placed towels in the room. When you saw them in your closet, you realized you’d brought them here mistakenly. Once you wrapped in your robe, you made your way to his room to drop them off. You knocked once, then twice, but neither knocks were answered. Deciding you could chance sneaking in to put the towels down, you opened the door. The sound of the shower running gave you your answer as to why he didn’t answer. Quickly you walked to the bed and put the stack of grey towels on the bed. As you neared it, out came Charlie in all his wet glory. In your shock, the towels fell to the floor and had your eyes snapping shut.

“Oh, god, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude. I forgot to leave some towels. I knocked; you didn’t answer.”

 The room was silent; he didn’t speak. You wondered what he was doing. Was he trying to cover himself? Using your hands as your eyes, you felt for the towels you’d dropped. In seconds frustration filled you when you couldn’t find them. Opening your eyes for a second, you saw the towels, but when you looked only a centimeter up, there was his junk right in front of you. He hadn’t budged from his spot and hadn’t even made an attempt to cover himself.

 You meant to look away immediately, but that didn’t happen. He was maybe half a foot from you, close enough to touch. Charlie had always been the most attractive man that you’d seen. He’d always done it for you. With you on your knees before him, you realized that hadn’t changed. A son, a miscarriage, a messy ending to your marriage, and a divorce had done nothing to temper how much you always seemed to want him or be attracted to him.

 You were kneeling there in wide-eyed amazement. It had been years since you’d seen him like this. The deterioration of your marriage meant you spent lots of nights lonely and unloved. Before you gave him divorce papers, it had been seven whole months since you’d been intimate. When you added on the four months it took for the divorce to finalize and the year of being a divorcee, you hadn’t gotten laid in over two years. It was shameful because right now you knew why only he had an impact, only he would do.

 “It’s okay,” Charlie whispered. His voice was shaking, and he sounded hopelessly breathless. “It’s nothing you haven’t seen before in great detail.”

 Again, you remembered all the things you’d done to him in great detail over the six years of your marriage. Jumping to your feet, you tried your hardest to look away from his inviting appendage. You held out the stack of towels to him with your head turned to the side and waited for him to take them. When his hands grasped the items, they brushed yours and sent thousands of electric sparks through your hand and directly into your heart.

 Your eyes met again, and they lingered on each other. You hoped he couldn’t hear your heart, hoped he couldn’t tell what a fraud you were.

 “I should go,” you whispered.

 “You don’t have to.” His response awoke a need in you that you thought you’d buried. You knew what he was suggesting. Everything in you wanted to take the gentle suggestion and cross the room to him, but then what.

 Groaning, you peeled your eyes from his and turned. “Yes, I have to. Good night Charlie.” Those were the last words before you made your rapid exit.

 The following morning you awoke to the scent of food being prepared. When you looked at the clock, it was almost ten. Usually, you’d be up by eight. You’d slept in. Quickly you brushed your teeth and pulled on a pair of leggings then went downstairs. As you neared the kitchen, you could smell the evidence of what promised to be a delicious breakfast. You turned, and there was Charlie standing over the store in his tank cooking away. Good lord help you he’d buffed up even more, you thought. Times like these you wished things had been different. You missed mornings like this. Charlie looked up and smiled when he saw you. As you approached, his eyes roamed your body before his eyebrows knitted together.

 “What?”

 “Is that my hoodie?” You looked over yourself and realized your error. It was normal for you to sleep in his clothes, but you didn’t realize you still worse it.

 “Nope.” It was a lie but one he couldn’t fully prove.

 Charlie scoffed but didn’t speak again for a long time. You took the opportunity to bring up his impromptu visit.

 “You can’t just show up unannounced Charlie. That is not okay. You can see CJ whenever you want I have never kept the two of you apart but just showing up here—you can’t.”

 Charlie nodded and but kept his eyes down. “I know, I’m sorry. I just—I really missed CJ, and I had to see him, so see you. I couldn’t stay away. I wanted to talk.”

 What the hell were you supposed to say to that, you thought. Sensing your speechlessness, Charlie spoke. “I’m sorry about last night. I was out of line.”

 “Let’s not talk about it, CJ will be down any minute.”

 “I have to talk about it. I’m losing my mind. I’ve been losing it for the last near two years, and—I’m struggling,” Charlie admitted. His candor shook you. Half of you wanted to know more, but the other half was too scared.

 “Charlie, it’s fine. Let’s move on.”

 “I can’t. I can’t be like you. You have everything so put together. You’ve pieced this life together without me, and I can’t seem to piece any life together without you—without CJ.”

 It was then CJ came running down. It should have been sooner because you were absolutely ruined now.  You and Charlie stared at each other. He was daring you to speak, to acknowledge what he’d just dropped on you.

 “Daddy!” CJ jumped onto Charlie bringing his attention to your son. You took the reprieve to dip into the half bath to pull yourself together.

 You tried to wrap your head around what he’s said, tried to make sense of it. After five minutes, you still couldn’t come to terms with it, so you did the next best thing, pushed it aside. When you walked back out, CJ was sitting at the dining table, as was Charlie.

 “Ready to eat, mommy?”

 “Absolutely.” You sat at the table and dove into the food, all the while avoiding Charlie’s eyes. Through breakfast, he and CJ talked and joked with each other. It was a welcomed chatter because it took the attention off you.

 Once breakfast was finished, you cleaned the dishes while CJ got himself dressed for a playdate he’d been looking forward to the whole week. Now that Charlie was there, he refused to go. It wasn’t until Charlie promised he’d still be there when he got back did CJ agree. When the two of them came down, CJ was dressed and ready just in time for him to be picked up. You thanked Claudia for setting it up the playdate and waved goodbye to CJ from the front door.

 When you turned around, Charlie was leaning on the steps watching. You hesitated closing the door to enclose yourself in a confined space that had plenty of surfaces for him to bend you over. When you did, you quickly walked back to the kitchen.

 “We have to talk, Y/N.”

 “No, we don’t. There is nothing to talk about.”

 “Bullshit. After yesterday, last night, even in the kitchen this morning. We have plenty to talk about,” Charlie responded, following you through the house.

 “Charlie, don’t.”

 “I have to. Are you happy? Like really happy? It’s been a year. Are you happy? Is this what you wanted? Did you want our son feeling like a consolation in our relationship?”

 “Are you happy? You’ve gotten what you wanted.”

 “Me?! Y/N, you gave me divorce papers. You left our house and never came back,” Charlie shouted through clenched jaws.

 “Oh right, I’m the big bad wolf. You know how to fight for a role, but you have no clue how to fight for your marriage, your son. Classic.” You slammed the kitchen fridge unsure why you’d opened it in the first place.

 “Don’t pull that. I fought, I came to you over and over, begging you not to do it, pleading with you. You refused to listen.”

 “What did you come to me for Charlie? What the hell did you prove to me? What did you show me? What was I going back for? The same bullshit? The same treatment?! In all the times you came begging and pleading, you never once showed me how things would change. You just didn’t want a divorce under your belt. You didn’t want the press to get wind of it.”

 “That’s bullshit! I wanted my wife; I wanted my son! You didn’t want me. When did you stop loving me, Y/N?”

 You looked at him incredulously. He had to be fucking kidding, you thought. Your anger was rising by leaps and bounds, and you knew the next words out your mouth were going to be venom. “Is the weight of it all too heavy now, Charlie? A year later, a year after you switched up and changed? A year after you showed me time and time and again what was important, who was important. You showed me I didn’t mean shit; CJ didn’t mean shit. I was not going to stay and turn into those Hollywood couples who hated each other and only remained for the spotlight. No!”

 “You gave up on me,” Charlie whispered.

 “Fuck you! You gave up. You gave up on me and us long before I left you those divorce papers. You did.” You walked away because you could feel your tears spilling over, but you turned around back to him, tired of hiding the fallout of his actions. “You know what makes all of this so much worse? My friends told me this would happen. They told me before we got married, told me to slow down, be careful with you, and I defended you. I defended you till kingdom come. Look where we are, Charlie! Living in a perfect lie!”

 “I don’t want to live this lie. I miss you, Y/N. I miss CJ. I miss our life; I miss our family. I’m miserable,” Charlie dropped.

 His tears ran down his cheeks, and you flared your nose. This was always your weakness. Charlie had always been in touch with his emotions, but his emotions had to be overwhelming for him to cry.

 “Good. You sowed this Charlie. You brought all of this on. My baby--,” you began, but the pain was too much. Charlie sobbed and dropped his head back.

 “I’m sorry,” he said as he approached you. You steadily backed away from him, not wanting him to touch you.

 “Y/N,” Charlie began as you shook your head.

 “No. I’m not doing this with you. I refuse.”

 Charlie quickly caught you before you turned and kept you facing him. “You can’t run from this Y/N. Face it with me, please.”

 You kept a straight face, refusing to cry any more. You refused to allow him any closer than he already was. You wouldn’t survive it this time. Charlie grunted out in frustration when he realized you were hell-bent on keeping him at bay.

 “Y/N!”

 “What do you want from me, Charlie?” You shot death rays right at him.

 “I want you to say anything! Scream! Yell at me! Just something to show you fucking care.”

 “Why should I care? Why the hell should I give one flying fuck?”

 “Because I’m still in love with you!”

 The words felt like a slap in the face. You’d imagined how they’d sound coming from him during the whole divorce process, during the whole year after the divorce. You were convinced he didn’t love you anymore for him to have treated you the way he did, for him to have done what he did in Cannes. The stress of it brought on your miscarriage.

 Though you’d wanted to hear them, you hadn’t prepared to hear them.

 “I love you. God, I can't keep pretending like I'm okay with any of this. I can’t pretend that it doesn’t kill me to be away from you, to be away from CJ. I can’t act like I’m thriving or happy. I’m not. I’m miserable. I wish I could press rewind and go back and better, do better. I wish I knew better then, as I know now. I fucked up, and I regret it more than I’ve ever regretted anything in my life. If I had been a better man, none of this would have happened. If I’d only been the man you deserved our baby—our princess would be here right now. I will have to live with that for the rest of my life, the pain that I caused your miscarriage, the pain that I broke our vows, that I broke your heart, I broke us.”

 Charlie dropped his forehead to your collar, and his tears dropped across your chest. They felt like acid peeling away every barrier you’d built between him and your heart. He was saying everything you want him to, everything. He wasn’t holding anything back. They were words you’d desperately wanted to hear.

 “I’m sorry, love dove. I never wanted to give up on you--on us. I loved you so much. You were my world until CJ. Then you became my universe. I lost myself. I lost sight of you and me. I lost sight of the man I was and wanted to be. For that, I will always be sorry. Losing you and CJ, it broke me. I stand here a broken man. I had to find me again. It’s been hard, but the root of me is you and my son. My family. You have always been what mattered, and I regret I ever lost that, that I ever made you feel like you weren’t my everything.”

 One lone tear rolled down your cheek, and that was just the beginning. When Charlie swiped it away with the pad of his thumb, the flood gates opened. You bawled uncontrollably, all your emotions finally catching up to you. Charlie wept with you, and that was how the two of you stayed for countless minutes.

 When you opened your eyes and realized how close he was, you sniffled. Slowly the two of you inched to one another. Before your lips touched, both of you hesitated. “Fall back in love with me, love dove.” He whispered.

 He really thought you’d ever fallen out of love with him. “You’re an idiot if you think I’ve ever fallen out of love with you.” The hope you saw in Charlie’s eyes set your belly fluttering. It was overwhelming. Charlie claimed your lips in a soft but passionate kiss that took your breath away. It was so intense you felt as if you’d been possessed by sheer desire. The kiss began timid and soft, but in seconds, it had turned into a lustful and sensual soul transference. Charlie’s hands gripped your hips and pulled you flush against him before he lifted you in his arms.

 Wrapping your legs around him, you kissed him back with as much heat as you kissed you. Soon the two of you were walking through the house blindly looking for anywhere. Charlie plopped you onto something, and the backs of your knees said it was the kitchen island. Quickly both of you stripped each other. He pulled off his hoodie from your body as you peel his shirt off. Charlie cupped your breasts when he realized you weren’t wearing a bra then dipped his mouth to your mounds. Instantly you moaned and hugged his head to your flesh.

 Charlie nipped and hypnotizingly sucked your skin, bringing you more and more ecstasy. It had been so long since you’d felt like this; you didn’t want to think about anything else but the sensations. Charlie pushed you back onto the island and brought his lips down your stomach to your hip. Once there, he pulled off your leggings in one fluid motion. His beard tickled your skin and had you wriggling underneath him. Charlie’s groan was loud when he realized you wore nothing under those leggings.

 In seconds he’d draped your legs over his shoulder and reclaimed claimed ownership of the most intimate part of you. He moaned as he lapped at your wetness and teased and pleased your body. You bucked your hips against his lips, feeling your orgasm barrel toward you. Everything in you said it was going to be a catastrophic one. You panted and gasped his name as your body wildly thrashed, unable to control it any longer.

 “Aah, yes, right there. Yes, Charlie, yes, yes!”

 Your scream was loud, and the tightness of your legs around his head was enough to suffocate. Charlie didn’t panic. Instead, he lifted your lower half into the air and continued his feast, not caring if you were overstimulated or not. Your screech echoed off the walls of the kitchen, and you tried to pry him away from your sex. He refused to budge even when you’d unwrapped your legs the best you could. Yet another orgasm ripped through you, sending a gush of moisture all over his mouth and beard. Charlie groaned, gripped your breasts, and squeezed hard enough for you to know just how tightly wound he was.

 When he pried your legs from around him, you felt the renewed fire and quickly slid off the island to drop before him. You hurriedly stripped him eager to have him. Once he was free, his heavy cock bobbed in front of you. Wasting no more time, you slid him into your mouth, ignoring your gag and took every inch he was blessed with. Charlie shouted and hugged your head to his cock, keeping him lodged tightly in your throat. Sensing the low levels of your air supply, he pulled back enough to give you a brief reprieve. It was all you needed and more than you wanted.

 Slamming him back into your mouth, you lodged him in your throat again, all the while moaning enthusiastically. Charlie’s hands never left your head just as his mouth never closed. Moan after moan fell from him as you sucked and slurped his length. In no time at all, Charlie was thrusting into your mouth hell-bent on finding his long-overdue release. Just as you were finding a groove, Charlie pulled from your mouth with a loud “pop” before he pulled you up and pushed you onto the island.

 With you bent over the island and your ass poked out for him, Charlie rubbed his cock across your soaking folds sending shivers through you. He bent to your ear and kissed you.

 “I love you, only you. Endlessly for eternity.” It was the same thing he’d said the night of your wedding before he joined you for the first time as husband and wife. When you peeped behind you and locked eyes with him, you knew the two of you had an understanding. Charlie kissed your back then snapped his hips forward, harshly, and completely filling you to the hilt. You shouted and gripped the island. Your knees bucked from the sheer pleasure of just this. When you clenched around him, Charlie, have you just what you wanted—a rough tryst.

 Every slam into your core had you clenching around him. Each thrust was more bruising than the last, and each one brought tears to your eyes. They weren’t hurt tears; they were a mixture of relief and complete joy. You shouted his name over and over, not caring how needy or desperate you sounded. You could feel how on edge he was; his body shook every time he filled you, and every time you said his name, he shouted yours.

 When Charlie began jackhammering into you clearly lost in his pleasure, you left planet Earth. Only he could have you like this. Only he could fuck you into outer space. You knew he was close, and the second he whimpered behind you, you pressed back into him, throwing your ass back onto him. Charlie sucked in a breath, and his whimpers intensified. The slap to your ass was the last thing you needed to be pushed over the edge, an edge you dragged him over. Charlie grunted and groaned as he filled you with every ounce of his love.

 It took several long moments for the two of you to come down from your sultry sex bubble. After having you across the island, you rode him until his toes curled, and he saw stars on the kitchen floor leaned against the same island. By the time you’d both stopped, hours had passed. Neither of you were fully satiated. As Charlie hugged you to him still buried deep within you, he tipped your chin so you were looming at him.

 “Marry me again.” Shocked, you searched his face for his meaning.

 “You’re not serious.”

 “I am. Will you be my wife again?” the gleam of silver caught your eye, and you looked down to see him wearing your engagement and wedding ring on a chain around his neck. Your world shattered. He’d worn them this entire time. Locking eyes with him again, you knew he could tell you realized what he was wearing.

 “All this time?” Charlie held up his hand to show you the silver wedding band he still wore.

 “I promised forever; I wasn’t done with it.” Your tears fell, and so many emotions filled you; you had no idea which one to go with.

 “I have to do whatever it takes to stop my heart from being broken, Charlie,” you whispered.

 “I’ll never break your heart again. I know how it ends. I know what it means. I can’t risk my life without you or CJ anymore. I can’t.” His tears welled, and you believed him.

 “Surrender to me, love dove. Surrender to me as I can only surrender to you.” His voice was pleading with you. Closing your eyes, you listened to your soul, the place where no fear lived. When you looked at him, you trailed your thumb across his bottom lip.

 “Give them back.” Charlie looked confused for a few seconds before he got it. Quickly he yanked the chain from around his neck and slid the rings off to hover them over your finger before he locked eyes with you.

 “Never again will we be here. Never again will I lose us,” Charlie forcefully vowed.

 “Never again will I walk away,” you responded. He looked overwhelmingly emotional then, but you could see him holding as much of it back as possible. When he slid the rings onto your finger, both of you sighed as if you both felt instant relief.

 You knew this was a new beginning for the two of you but also for CJ. You knew that neither of you would ever again make the same mistakes.

 “I surrender,” you both whispered together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#that old thing back one shot #Charlie Hunnam #charlie hunnam fanfiction #charlie hunnam x reader #Charlie Hunnam x you #Charlie hunnan x black reader #black fanfiction #angst fanfic #charlie hunnam smut

[binniedeactivated]

saint. || soobin (2.6)🌪

🖤┊𝔰𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔱 . ೄྀ࿐ 𝖕𝖆𝖎𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌: 𝖘𝖔𝖔𝖇𝖎𝖓 𝖝 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: 𝖘𝖒𝖚𝖙/𝖆𝖚 𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙; 2k

you panic clutching soobin’s wrists trying to get him to stop. you glare down at him and he’s just looking up at you smirking. your father calls you yet again with his voice becoming louder with each step. you tap soobin and he’s still licking you as if your father wasn’t there. he knocks on your door and you hold your breathe, hoping he’d think you were at study group or something. he calls your name again and soobin loved the way you looked with your eyes rolling back trying not to make any sounds. 

you were surprised your father couldn’t hear the wet sounds of soobin’s mouth. he called you about five more times before he gave up, convinced that you were elsewhere. you were still shaking, struggling to hold your breath until you heard the front door close meaning that your father had went back to work. at the sound of the closing door you release a lewd moan that could make soobin cum in his pants. he grips your thigh prying your legs open with his hand still tasting you for all that you were. you were throbbing so hard you knew soobin had to have felt you. you let your fingertips glide through his silky hair. soobin kind of liked when you played with his hair this way. 

“ohmygosh ssoobin”. you whine looking down at him. you bite your lips and let your head hang back again. you were a quivering mess in his hands. you felt a strong sense of pleasure shoot through your torso and it made you hold back from his lips. you scooted back a little with gaspy moans escaping your lips. 

“what are you doing?”. soobin groans and slides you back down on his tongue. the pleasure built up and you were shaking like there was no tomorrow. you move back again. “I ccan’t take it”. you whine. you hear soobin chuckle lowly beneath you. “It sounds like you’re going to squirt this time, hm?”. you pant with a heaving chest being overwhelmed by his tongue and the unbearable sensations you were feeling. you move back again. “ssquirrt?”. you whine. 

soobin pushes you back down again and pins your thighs to mattress paying special attention to your clit now. it only took a couple flicks of his tongue for you to be hit hard with an unsurpassable amount of bliss. your body shakes yet again and soobin is just watching you squirt in amusement. he was proud of himself but he was mostly proud of you for being able to withstand it. when you were finished you couldn’t believe what you’d just done. you laid back on your bed stunned. you felt lips on your cheek making their way to your lips. he pulls away and softly looks at you before snuggling his head into your neck. 

“I’m sorry”. he apologizes. “was it too much?”. he asks again. you breathe.

“no that felt amazing I’m--I just wasn’t used to it”.

soobin smirks at you before pinching your cheeks. 

“you’re a dirty girl getting ate out while your father was at the door”. he laughs and you smack his hand away. “you kept going when I told you to stop”.

“wait until I tell father benjamin about this one”. soobin chuckles. you panic only a little because you knew he wasn’t serious. “you better not. i already confessed my sins to him and he forgave me”. 

soobin grins again, “what are you going to say this time? I’m sorry father benjamin for being such a dirty girl i won’t do it again”. he seductively mocks and you laugh in disbelief. “you really think I talk to him sexy like that? he’s a priest for god’s sake soobin”.   “hey I don’t know how you speak to him. you could have a priest kink too”. he joked.  “that’s a thing?”. soobin shakes his head laughing, “no you freak”. 

you and soobin lay in silence for a moment until you felt the need to speak. 

“this is weird. is this what couples do after sex? they just lay here?”. you ask honestly curious. soobin laughs. “we didn’t have sex”. 

“well is it normal to lay here after cumming?”. you ask again. “yeah you’re supposed to get a bit sleepy. are you sleepy? did i wear you out that much?”. you roll your eyes at him and laugh. “whatever soobin. i’m hungry though. I think my parents went on a date tonight. they’re usually home by now”. 

“hm. when we get married will you still go on dates with me?”. he questions looking up at you. you tried hard to keep yourself from blushing. you instead played with his hair.

“why do you keep mentioning marriage soobin? we’re eighteen”. you mention. 

“I want you to myself”.

“I’m right here”.

“for the rest of my life”. 

“how do you know if you’ll still be attracted to me by then?”.

“I will. I know I will. that’s why I want to make things official. legally at least”. 

“don’t you think you’re rushing? I haven’t even met your parents yet”. 

“psh. like they care. just as long as you aren’t a gold digger they can care less about who I marry”.

“I mean....”. you joke as if you actually were. soobin glares up at you and starts laughing. 

“it would be an honor to be your sugar daddy”. you grin at the thought. 

“well sugar daddy, can you get me a new school skirt and panties? because you just ruined mine”. you joke again and he’s rubbing your tummy for some odd reason. you noticed he was very affectionate whenever he was close to you. 

“whatever you want”. he smiles. you urge him to get up though, because you actually did have to change clothes now that your clothes were ruined. soobin sits a pillow over his face to cover his eyes. you thought it was kind of respectful and pointless at the same time, given the fact that he just ate you out but you applaud his modesty. 

“come on so I can feed you I know you’re hungry”. 

soobin jumps up with excitement not even caring to know if you were dressed yet. you said you didn’t like cooking that much and this was true but that didn’t mean you didn’t necessarily know how to cook. for some reason you felt really pressured to do well with this so you made him the simplest meal you could find which was tacos. It was hard trying to concentrate with soobin staring at the way you swiftly moved around your kitchen. you would call him a creep but you knew he was just admiring you. 

he never had someone take care of him before and now it was kind of addicting for him. of course he loved your company but he loved how you treated him like he was an actual human being instead of the animal that his parents saw him as and sex toy like the girls at school saw him. 

“hard or soft soobin?”.

“I’m soft right now but you can make me hard if you want to”. he replies snarkily and you turn in his direction laughing while wanting to kill him. “hard please”. he answers quickly knowing what you were thinking. you fed him anyways along with a drink. you figured your parents weren’t going to be hungry when they got back so you decided it was best to save the rest as leftovers.

it was quiet after you gave soobin his food and you were cleaning. you turn to check on him, “you okay?”. you ask, and he was just stuffing his cheeks. “is it good?”. you ask again. he swallows of course with food falling down his shirt. “oh my gosh--what do you want to name our kids?”. you laugh at his reply. 

“If you’re going to be cooking for me like this we have to have a family together”. he plots before stuffing his mouth again. you shake your head and continue cleaning. it isn’t like you didn’t want a family with soobin. you actually thought a family is exactly what soobin needed in order to become a better person. just not this young at least. you both had a lot of growing up to do. 

soobin was just finishing his food when you heard your parents car engine in the driveway. your eyes enlarged and soobin gives the plate to you. you sat it on the counter, “go out the front”. you whisper. he collects his things from upstairs quickly and jogs down the steps. he kisses you on your cheek before sneaking out while you were trying to look as casual as possible. soobin races into his car and drives off as soon as possible. he didn’t get too far down the street before he got a call from an unknown number. he declined it at first but it was consistent so he answers with hesitance. 

“hello? whose this?”. 

“soobin? this is yeonjun. where are you right now?”. 

“I’m on my way home--you alright? you sound scared”. 

“come to mia’s house”.

“mia’s house? why?”.

“just come on”. he said sounding worried, hanging up the phone. soobin’s heart sanked and this is what drove him to get over there as fast as he could. and when he did, boy did he regret it. It was a crime scene. the blaring red and blue lights of cop cars flooded the front lawn and officers were walking in and out of the home. there was an ambulance park on the side, assisting someone who was in the back of it. soobin locked eyes with yeonjun who was standing on the sidewalk watching everything unfold. he gets out of his car and jogs to him, 

“what happened?”.

“a house invasion. and I think something happened to mia, again”.

“what do you mean again?”. 

“like what happened at the hotel that night. I think the boys invaded her house”. 

soobin sits his hands atop of his head, trying to cool down. 

“why the hell would they do this shit?”. he asks. 

“that’s exactly why I called you over here. those boys hate you now. and they’ll do anything to make this all seem like it was your fault so they can number one, get revenge and number two, not do much time in prison”. 

soobin crouches to the ground, palming his face in his hand with waves of stress.

“what the fuck am I going to do?”.  

#choi soobin #choi soobin smut #choi yeonjun #choi beomgyu #choi soobin au #txt #txt au

[ymiwritesstuff]

Can l request an part 1 dio x s/o arranged marriage scenario. Dio is in love them after years of luncheon meetings, but s/o doesn't really want to marry in general. You can decide if s/o falls in love dio or plain trys to marry Jonathan instead. Thanks!

Thank you so much for the request and sorry that this took so long. I really liked writing this but I’m not sure if this got too confusing? Sorry if that’s the case but I still hope you enjoy.

Selfish Desires

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 1: Phantom Blood

Dio Brando x Reader

Summary: With probably the most overwhelming duty that came with nobility slowly crushing you, you can’t help but to wonder if listening to your own feelings is really the way to make things better.

Nobility came with its fair share of duties and responsibilities, some of them being extremely demanding and sometimes downright anxious, which made you question your status as a noble. The weight on your shoulders was massive and as the only child in your highly respected family, the expectations were great. And one of those many, crucial responsibilities, was marriage. And oh, how much you hated it.

Putting up with all the little things like wearing fancy but extremely uncomfortable clothes and forcing yourself to go to all of these meetings and festivities that mattered so little to you personally was simple enough, however the concept of being practically forced into marrying someone you barely knew didn’t sit well with you, and you knew that living a life like that would have been too much for you. However you had so little say in the matter, and your parents had already decided your fate as well as the family whose member you were to marry.

One would think, that after years of boring but apparently necessary luncheon meetings, your initial thoughts of the planned marriage would have faded away and been replaced by more accepting ones. However, the desire to marry never came forth and only seemed to get farther away as time slowly moved forward. Your uninterested gazes and frustrated sighs over the years didn’t go unnoticed by your parents and they had spent a handful of evenings scolding you for your “disrespectful” behavior, which didn’t accomplish anything in the end as your mind didn’t change in the slightest.

Now with all that being said, if your suitor had been the adoptive son of the Joestars instead of the legitimate one, perhaps marriage wouldn’t have sounded so bad. While the marriage in its entirety had never sounded appealing to you, you couldn’t deny the effects a certain golden-haired man had on you. Being a total opposite of his brother, Dio was confident, sharp as a knife, and somewhat arrogant at times, yet so alluring and charming at the same time and on top of that, madly in love with you. Over the years, he was responsible for stealing your attention during the meetings meant to discuss your possible future with Jonathan, as your (E/C) would always move to him and when your gazes occasionally met, your insides would tingle in a strange but pleasant way, and in turn, would make his ego shine brightly.

The affectionate feelings you held for each other were undeniable, and as the years went by, you found yourself and your feelings leaning towards him and going as far as anxiously waiting for your next visit to the Joestar manor, just to see Dio again.

~

Another meeting, another chance to lay your eyes on Dio’s handsome features rather than listen to the apparently “crucial” discussion. The food was served and eaten, important matters were discussed, and most importantly of all, you could freely feast your eyes upon the golden-haired man sitting across from you. 

The quite impressive garden of the Joestar estate was without a doubt among your most favored places to spend time in after an enjoyable meal, much like the one from today. However today’s meeting had left a bitter taste on your tongue as the decision about your marriage was closer than ever and according to your parents, you were to make that decision today, before you would leave the Joestar manor. There was a vivid desire to deny the idea entirely, but that would also mean denying your duty and responsibility, which would ultimately worsen the image of your family among the other nobles. Just thinking about it made you anxious: “The (Surname) family’s only child selfishly refuses an arranged marriage and brings her family down with her into the pit of shame”.

However, one thing you couldn’t possibly deny were the feelings your heart possessed. Marriage would completely rid you of the freedom you desired and would force you to live the life you absolutely wanted to stay far away from. The issue wasn’t the suitor or the people trying to persuade you, but the union itself.

“Something on your mind, my dear?”

The familiar but sudden voice snaps you out of your thoughts and causes you to look back, only to make you smile as Dio comes into your view. No matter how anxiety-filled or grim your day was, he always managed to make it just a bit brighter. He approaches you and carefully sits next to you on the wooden bench in the very center of the garden and takes your hands in his.

“I’m just stressed,” You finally say, answering his question as he lightly squeezes your hands. “I’m supposed to make my decision today but... I don’t think I can do it. I don’t want to marry anyone.” Your eyes move up to look at him, silently asking for his advice with your gaze alone. To your surprise the man next to you lets out a chuckle, before speaking:

“Then don’t. The decision is yours and yours alone.” His straightforward, simple answer leaves you blinking in utter surprise as you try to think of a way to respond to his advice. Surely, he understood the consequences your possible refusal would have. “But... What about my parents? My family? What if they’ll disown me?” The tone of your voice is desperate as the weight of your responsibilities keeps getting heavier and heavier the more you allow your mind to be troubled by them. Dio looks at you, his sharp eyes digging themselves into the very core of your soul, thus ensuring that you are listening.

“(Name). What is more important to you? The desires of your own heart, or pleasing your obnoxiously controlling parents by throwing your future away?” The way he spoke was somewhat harsh, even from him. It did surprise you, considering the respect he seemed to hold for your family during these meetings. Still, his words latched onto you, albeit weakly, as the thought of betraying your family’s expectations plagued you. “But it’s selfish...” Your gaze falls to the ground, but only manages to stay there for a mere second as Dio’s hand carefully takes a hold of your chin and returns your gaze to him.

“Nonsense, (Name). After all, selfishness will get you what you most desire.” There was a strange glint in his eyes. A burning flame of something you couldn’t quite understand sparkling in those strangely cunning amber eyes that only seemed to enhance the effect his words had on you. And these words were succeeding in their little mission. “You’re right. It’s my decision and I will make it the way I want.” The sudden determination caused by Dio’s words fills you and ultimately helps you realize that your dreams and happiness is all that mattered in the end. “I will refuse the marriage.”

No matter the consequences, you knew Dio would always support you and be by your side, even if you ended up angering your parents to the highest degree yet. With him by your side, you would withstand it.

Dio looks at you lovingly and kisses you gently, but behind that seemingly tender gaze and caring action lies a malicious intent that is more than delighted to hear of your choice. Should you have decided to go along with your parents’ own selfish and twisted desire and marry his cursed adoptive brother, he would have made sure to break that union as soon, and as brutally as possible. Because the last thing Dio wanted, was to witness Jonathan, his biggest rival, marrying the woman he loved, and the woman who belonged to him.

#jojo #jjba #JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #Jojo no Kimyou na Bouken #JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Phantom Blood #jjba x reader #jojo's bizarre adventure x reader #jojo x reader #dio #dio brando #dio x reader #dio brando x reader #jojo part 1 #jjba dio #reader insert

[faedawayyy]

DALLAS JACKSON.

my forever obsession. i feel like his story and margo’s story go hand in hand and when they’re put together, it makes so much sense why they are the way they are. 

TW: DRUGS, ALCOHOL, VERBAL AND PHYSICAL ABUSE 

CHILDHOOD (0 - 11) 

dallas is the youngest of two. he was born in april and from the moment he was born, he became the centre of his mum’s universe. he never did anything to be that way; she always told him that he came at just the right time. he never really knew what that meant but it’d end up being the main thing that sent so many other things spiralling in the wrong direction as he grew up. 

anywhere his mother went, dallas would be taken too. their parents couldn’t go on dinner dates without dallas coming along in his pushchair while margo stayed with her nanny. he’d go to lunch dates with friends and parties he was too young to be at. his mother was incredibly attached but to him, it felt like love and what child doesn’t want that? she’d suffered with postpartum after margo and dallas was her chance to redo motherhood the “right” way. 

dallas never saw much of his dad growing up and when he did, it was during the late hours of the nigh when he’d come home in his suit looking tired. around the same time dallas would go to bed. they were fine though and had a better relationship than margo did with her parents. 

dallas spent very little time with anybody his own age. he was desperate to be close to margo but jealousy pushed them away. he’d spend most of his time going to events with his parents and being around other adults.  

he loved school because it gave him independence. he was free from his mother’s attachment and he got to make friends with kids his own age. he loved maths, sports and music the most; he was a member of many sports teams and also took part in any school concert that came his way. he was best on the drums and didn’t start singing until much later. 

spending a lot of time at home meant that he got to see his dad’s career grow and has more happy memories of his childhood and his parent’s marriage than margo does. however, his mother’s obsession with him did used to make him feel like his dad resented him in a weird way, though. it never showed in huge ways and he came to the conclusion it was just in his head. he was only 11, after all.

TEEN YEARS (12-18) 

high school started out weird for dallas. knowing who he is now, people would expect him to have been popular from the get go but he actually really struggled to make friends. spending most of his childhood with adults over 30, he struggled to connect with teenagers - and especially boys - his own age. 

he did get in with a group of guys but he was very clearly the weakest link or the one they’d bully and pick on just because they could. he’d shrug it off as a joke but it made him hate school. a lot. it was in the 12 - 14 year old range that he stopped doing sports or putting a lot of effort into school. it didn’t effect his grades because he’s naturally gifted in academics, but he lost his love for learning and school in general. 

dallas spent most of his younger teen years not being invited out and watching his friends have fun without him. he still went to events with his parents just to get out of the house. agreeing to sing at a christmas party led him to signing a contract with charles hamilton’s music label. over a summer, he made his debut EP and released a single. 

he blew up. almost instantly. the song ‘one time’ was a hit and he was almost certain that this would earn him respect at school. it turned out to be the reverse; he was mocked. people would play his songs ironically and he was called every name you could think of. he even got beat up a few times because of it. it made him miserable and he begged charles to terminate his contract. that never happened but he never, ever wanted to make music. 

studying and working on his first full length album, dallas met ruby at school at around 13 and she was the first friend he had that didn’t insist on making a joke of him. he learnt she was adopted by edwin carmichael which made her a family friend; she was the person he mainly started hanging out with and he gradually got to know her friends which opened him up to a new circle too. 

separating from his first friendship group was positive, he started to love sports and music again and school became somewhere he could tolerate. he posted music online and ended up releasing ‘baby’ - another song that absolutely blew up and sent him into stardom way too early.  

his mum became his manager and helped him balance school and all of his new career success, something else that earned him a string of horrible texts and comments from margo. at this point, he never saw her and she despised him for taking everything she wanted. 

he didn’t have much time to think about it. the older dallas got, the more financially successful he became and by the time he hit 15, he was the highest earner in his family. at around he same time, cracks in his parents marriage was showing at home. 

his dad never tried to hide the fact that he hated dallas for earning more than him and for a good few years, his father had control over his money. anything he earned went straight to mr jackson. dallas never saw a penny...and because his dad had a gambling addiction, a lot of it went down the drain.

by the time dallas reached 18, he had multiple offers from talent academies and academic universities. he originally chose to go to yale and study physics. he’d had a taste of fame and the music industry and didn’t want it. 

dallas’s father had put money aside for him when he was 18 for college. so, he used that to pay his tuition fees. however, after only one term, the account was drained and he didn’t have the money to stay. he worked jobs at bars and shops to pay his way but one job payed more than most and that was drug dealing. not hard to come by on a campus of over privileged kids. however, he was quickly caught and asked to leave. 

dallas came home to a completely different environment. his family were bankrupt and his dad had sold the law firm. they were living on loans and their parent’s marriage became massively toxic. he saw his dad beat his mum, multiple times, and when he rushed to defend her - which he would every time - he’d get the same treatment. 

he felt like he didn’t have the option to move away like margo, who would take care of their mum? that’s what drove his decision to stay local and go to st judes. but, he hated margo to leave him to deal with his dad’s mess and find a way...on his own...to get them money. suddenly, he was trying to find a way to pay rent, his sister’s rehab bills AND tuition for st judes so it was back to dealing.

YOUNG ADULT (18 - 23) 

easily the hardest years of his life. his young adult years have been stress, after stress, after stress, but he’s also not one to ask for help. still being massively successful in music, he threw himself into his rising fame with his albums ‘BELIEVE’ and ‘PURPOSE.’ 

any chance he got to act like a kid and forget about the responsibility he has, he takes it. whether that’s getting into petty fights, dating around, getting too drunk or acting impulsively. 

pressure from both being a big name at the academy and from his family has driven him to darker places. he’s struggled - multiple times - to have healthy romantic connections because he’s used to people being dependant on him; starting with his own mother. the minute somebody gets too attached or asks too much of him, he’ll lash out. on the flip side though, he likes to be needed. 

mental pressure is mainly what led his last relationship to become abusive and after that, he hit rock bottom. believe it or not, it’s definitely learnt behaviour and the last position he wanted to find himself in. 

dallas’s mental health has taken the biggest blow. after a handful of seriously failed relationships and having no home life anymore, he was diagnosed with depression mid-2020. something else he rejects intensely. he refuses to have the same diagnosis as his dad and refuses to speak of it or tell anyone or ask for help. 

TW: SUICIDE 

2020 and early 2021 had him make two separate suicide attempts that were recorded in the press as drug overdoses. the truth of the matter is that he isn’t an addict. he takes drugs but isn’t a slave to them. he doesn’t want to ruin his life or become numb to it; just end it. 

END OF TW

in more recent months, dallas has picked up on his music career again and is STILL trying his best to support his parents and pay margo’s withstanding rehab bills. after being in hospital, the academy have forced him to go to therapy, something he does privately and this accounts for him slowly improving in his behaviour again but he’s definitely forever on thin ice with how his life’s going.

#character saves #my favourite always

[simplycomplicatedwriting]

Here’s a mini thing I got carried away with (Shane x Farmer)

I was playing with an idea I had for an imagine and pitched it over discord. This is just a copy-paste of the messages I sent about the prompt which turned into a half-assed mini story. It starts off as a prompt but goes into more detail and Yes the tense changes at points- sorry about that, but I was writing this over the course of a few hours between doing other things. I really liked the idea in the end so I thought I’d share :)

Shane x Farmer OC/You except it's an alternative POV Groundhog Day-esque mystery, where Shane's anxiety and low self-esteem makes him question why on Earth the farmer wants to be friends enough that he starts to notice how they can act a little weird. Weird as in the way they pause at random moments before something happens as if they were expecting it when there was no way they could have known, or how they seem to know everything he likes but play it off as a "good guess". Then, of course, the Farmer and Shane fall in love and start dating. Shane notices the Farmer goes to Cindersap forest a lot, and always in a sneaking manner. He hears from Lewis about the weird man who lives in a tower and those insecurities kick in once again. Shane and the Farmer have a fight about it, with the Farmer flatly denying any suggestions and tries to defuse the situation (and they seem to know exactly what to say to calm him down, which only frustrates him further). Shane then goes to investigate on his own and see if the Farmer is cheating on him (which is what he suspects). He finds the wizard in the tower,

[completely out of character dialogue but you get the gist]

Rasmodius: Ah, [Farmer's name]'s husband... what do you want?

Shane: ... husband?

Shane: Who- we're not married. I'm not their husband. Who are you?

Rasmodius: A-hah, finally divorced you, have they? I'm not surprised. If you want a love potion to win them back, that's not how this works

Shane: What are you on about? We have never been married- I've barely known them a year!

An awkward silence ensues and a look of concern washes over the Wizard's face. He mutters something to himself and makes a wave with his hand. Shane is pushed out of the tower against his will and the door slams firmly shut. He goes home confused and still, if not more, upset.

The next morning Shane wanders onto the farm hungover from the night before, him having drunk himself to sleep. As he approached from the upper right from town, he can hear loud voices. Once he gets close enough he see's the wizard on the Farmer's doorstep and the Farmer in the doorway. They're having a heated discussion. The farmer looks like they've been crying. Being the caring boyfriend, Shane goes to the Farmer's defence without hesitation. The wizard gives the farmer a look, which causes them to cast their eyes down. They don't look at Shane.

"You need to fix this," the Wizard states firmly. The harshness and obvious anger in his voice makes the Farmer wince. Shane goes to intervene, but the Wizard leaves too quickly for it to matter.

The Farmer doesn't invite Shane into their house like they normally would. They keep the doorway blocked with their body and come off as reserved. The sight of them causes a pain in Shane's head, like a memory fighting its way to the surface. It makes him blurt, "We've been here before." The Farmer sobs. Shane doesn't comfort them, only looking on in shock and confusion.

"We're were married," The Farmer confesses. 

Long ago, in another life, the Farmer had met Shane in the secluded Pelican Town in Stardew Valley. It was like a whole other world, so cut off from the rest of society. The war hadn't reached the valley, nor had it been consumed by modern technology. The other threat to it was Joja mart, which the Farmer swiftly put an end to with the help of the Junimos. Shane and the Farmer married in the Summer of the Farmer's third year. Their love was sweet and naive. It took the Farmer a long time to gain Shane's trust, to learn what he liked and what he didn't, but they enjoyed everyone second of it. Of course, married life was much different from dating. Very quickly the threads of their relationship came undone. Tempers were tested and their love was challenged. Snide comments turned to midnight screaming matches and neither could find common ground. The Farmer was hard-working, but at times struggled to empathise with him. Shane was passionate, but still struggling with his mental health and found it difficult to have any motivation. 

That was their first marriage.

With a quick deal, the Farmer was given a second chance to start again. A new life in the same old Pelican Town. A completely clean slate. They knew what they were doing this time. They knew how to woo Shane while also keeping the Farm in good condition. They were like a machine. The two married in the Winter of the Farmer's first year. Shane, unaware of the upper hand the Farmer had, was smitten. He'd found his soulmate. They were perfect together, so of course, when the topic of babies came up, they were quick to make a decision. 

"We had kids...?" The memories Shane was getting back were faint and hard to interpret, but he knew the Farmer was telling the truth. He felt sick. The regret that washed over the Farmer's face when he spoke only made it worse.

"You- We, hated it. We were terrible parents. I wasn't fit for it, I-I was too busy all the time, and it stressed you out so much. We weren't happy." The Farmer's voice began to crack. "It just wouldn't stop crying... no matter what we did... it just wouldn't stop."

The Farmer had found themselves on the Witch's doorstep again, ready to make a deal. They had remembered what the Witch had offered them last time and decided to take them up on one of their offers. 'Only you, I and the wizard will have any memories of these events you are about to erase'. With a hefty fee, the Farmer wished for their troubled child to be set free, to be turned into a dove. 

This was no easy fix, though. Somehow, in some way, Shane figured it out, and he stood in the rain where he was standing now, looking at the Farmer as they stood in the doorway, hoping- praying for some kind of answer that would make it all better. He relied on the Farmer for that. They always seemed to fix his problems for him, but all the sudden they were the cause.

"You were going to hurt yourself... I couldn't let you go. I had to stop you." 

Shane had gone to the cliff edge like he had done times before, but nothing the Farmer had said changed his mind. They were the problem, not the solution anymore. 

..

One more time. Just one more time and they'd get it right. Things would be perfect, and they would be happy. But the Farmer couldn't restart again. They felt themselves getting older both physically and mentally from the constant stress. A different deal with the witch, and with a little extra. Erase the town's memory of Shane and they're relationship. Any trace that they had been any more their friends would be gone. Additionally, for the price of their soul, Stardew Valley would continue to be a secluded, untouched miracle in a war-torn world, where no ill would come to the valley and its inhabitants would stay in their happy little bubble. There would be no death, no ageing, and the outside world would only resume when interacted with. It was a strong spell, but it was worth it for an eternity of paradise. The Farmer could start again with Shane while keeping their progress on the farm and with the rest of the town, that way they would be ready for anything.

"So here we are," The Farmer said with a forced laugh. They looked like how Shane felt- complete and utter shit. Hopeless, lost and hurt was a good way to put it. By now the hidden memories had come back just like any other memory, but it didn't ease Shane. Somehow he could comprehend it all, but what does one do in that situation? Knowing knowledge that shouldn't be known. Sure, the Farmer told him of two instances where they had reset their relationship (and practically time itself), but how many other times had they toyed with this power? How could one determine what was genuine and what was a forced lie implanted into the mind? Shane thought of the child he now remembered. He felt guilty for forgetting. He felt grief for the child he had lost. He felt betrayed, oh so betrayed, by the one he thought he cared for so deeply, who had used and toyed with him like he were some program that could be edited and reset at a whim.

"I hate you,"

Those three words. Three words the Farmer thought they could never withstand hearing from him... but they had. They had more times than they would ever acknowledge. The naive Farmer who came to Stardew Valley would have never survived the heartbreak, but that person was gone- consumed by the determination to fix things. They were barely fazed by the words at this point; the phrase was like a paper cut, it hurt, but only for a moment. Why should they worry, anyway? They'd get it right next time. 

"One more time," they said. "It'll be the last and I'll get it right. We'll be happy. I'll wipe the slate clean this time."

#stardew valley #shane #sdv shane #x farmer #oc #reader #imagine #just for fun #gender neutral reader

[catulla-claudia]

Callixta Claudia Catulla

“Callixtus Claudius Valerius, look me in the eye and tell me you’re not going to be as shit of a brother as you are a politician.”

General information

Known as

Callixta Claudia Catulla: Legal name

Catulla: Commonly known as

Cat: Nickname

Callis Maxim: Pseudonym

Lady Catulla: Title

Occupation

Painter

Noblewoman

Favorites

Favorite meal: Saltimbocca

Favorite drink: White wine

Favorite flower: Carnation

Personality traits

Birthday: November 16

Age: 29

Zodiac sign: Scorpio

MBTI: ISFP

Pronouns: She/her

Main(s): Lucio

Patron Arcana: Knight of Swords

Relatives

Callixtus Claudius Valerius: The Consul, her elder brother, known most commonly as Valerius. She dislikes his general connivery, whilst he believes her too soft and still resents her for their mother’s death, but they still share a sense of comradery over their father’s political designs for both of them.

Cato Claudius Maximus: Father, the patriarch of the Claudius family and previous Consul of Vesuvia before his death during the Red Plague, usually simply known as Consul Maximus. Her cognomen was derived from his praenomen of Cato.

Poppaea Valeria Maximii: Mother of Catulla and Valerius, her marriage with her husband was rare amongst nobles as it was for love, and she died giving birth to Catulla, one of the main sources of contention between Cat and her brother and father.

Gens Claudia: Patrician family to which Catulla belonged, descended from her father. Several generations before her birth, her ancestors had changed the laws of Vesuvia that made the title of Consul a hereditary title passed down through the Claudii clan rather than an elected role after generations previous of bribery and political plotting that kept the Claudii clan in power as Consuls.

Gens Valeria: Patrician family to which Catulla’s mother belonged and for whom her elder brother was named after.

Physical description

Gender: Female

Height: 5′2′’

Eye color: Hazel

Hair color: Black with blue-silver ombre

Appearance

Cat is a petite woman who looks to be in her early to mid twenties, with an elegant yet unrestrained air, described as being "all the wild beauty of a garden". Her hair is black, with the ends dyed into a blue-silver ombre, and she has hazel eyes, a shade or two darker than her brother’s. She’s said to resemble her mother greatly, being fine-boned, with large eyes and a straight nose. She has a beauty mark on her left cheek. She loves high-collared lace and silk shirts, as well as floral patterns and puffed and gathered sleeves.

Personality

Unlike her brother, Cat doesn't like the idea of manipulating others or being a chess piece. As a result, she'd also expressed a desire for a simple life, content to live off her family inheritance as a philanthropist and patron of the fine arts as well as expand her own crafts as an artist. While her family exults in power and influence, her motivations lean more towards living life on her own terms. Some part of her resents her family for their insistence in playing at the game of politics, though it’s often overpowered by her internalization of her father’s neglect of her during her childhood. She’s only ever really soft and open when it comes to art-- at the rest of times, her personality is seen as sarcastic or snippy, with a hatred for flattery and strictly no-nonsense, often fidgeting or becoming anxious when there’s nothing for her to do. However, Catulla can be just as manipulative and ruthless, able to read people like they’re open books even without the help of magic or a tarot deck, as she was born and raised as a Claudii after all-- she simply dislikes politics. That doesn't mean she's bad at it.

History

Family background

Catulla was born as Callixta Claudia Catulla, of the Claudius family. Catulla was named after her father, whose name was Cato Claudius Maximus, known vernacularly as Consul Maximus. She had one elder brother, Callixtus Claudius Valerius, known vernacularly as Valerius, three years her senior.

The Claudii were one of the oldest and most noble of Vesuvia’s families, with members frequently holding the highest offices of the state, and had over the course of several generations, seized control of the office of Consul to the point it became a hereditary title passed down through the family rather than an elected one as it was initially intended.

Consul Maximus and his wife, Poppaea Valeria, were arranged to be married, but unlike most nobles, they were deeply in love, and Poppaea was often said to be the power behind Consul Maximus’s hand, and was also quite well-respected by the people of Vesuvia.

Childhood

Catulla was named for her father, whilst her elder brother was named for her mother’s family. Her mother, Poppaea Valeria, died giving birth to her-- as a result, her father and brother had resented her for this, and her father treated her coldly during her childhood, heaping all his aspirations onto her elder brother, with Catulla being forgotten in the shadows.

As a result, Catulla was raised mostly by tutors and servants, keeping mostly to herself during her childhood, the shamed daughter of the Consul hidden away in the Claudius estate. It was during this time she gained an appreciation for the arts-- cooped up in such a large manor with a lush garden and vineyard, she found herself often staying out to sketch the sceneries and making different studies of the servants at work as well.

Adolescence

By the time she was around thirteen or fourteen, she was deemed talented and useful enough by her father to send her away abroad to study the arts-- once again, out of sight and out of mind. She spent the next few years travelling to places like Firent, Zadith, and Prakra, studying the painting, architecture, and sculpture of each of the different cultures, returning back to Vesuvia when they were around nineteen with a wealth of knowledge.

Adulthood

Catulla was introduced at court by her father at the wedding of Count Lucio to Nadia Satrinava, alongside her elder brother-- she was around twenty at that time. Later, she received note from town gossip that the Count was looking to commission an artist for his official portraits.

Determined to win the commission, Catulla had worked in secrecy and submitted her sample work to the palace under the pseudonym of Callis Maxim, unwilling to throw around her family reputation. It was to her pleasure and surprise that she was notified, a month later, of her winning the commission.

Catulla had informed her father of her new occupation and then without waiting for his protest or permission, promptly moved into guest apartments in the Vesuvian Palace, where she would stay for the next year as she worked on a painting of the Count as seen in the Arcana game, standing proudly over the skull of a dead beast, with mountains in the background

Court Painter

He was apparently so pleased with her work that she’d been promoted to the Court Painter, whereupon she had been tasked with painting a myriad of things, mostly for his vanity projects-- paintings of him, paintings of his menagerie of pets.

Over time, Catulla had befriended him, or, as much as anyone could befriend the count, being referred to affectionately as “Cat” by him, and something of a one-sided infatuation had sprung up, with Cat having held a soft spot for him despite his selfish tendencies due to his love and care for his pets, though she made sure he had remained unaware of this, and he was in the meanwhile having an affair with her brother.

When the Red Plague swept the city, she’d been horrified at his inaction, distancing herself from him and calculatedly cutting off any form of their previous friendliness towards each other-- her last commission was the painting of the feast in the dining hall, and the grim and ominous composition was a manifestation of her disappointment and bitter anger towards him. She’d given it to him as a parting gift, alongside a resignation letter.

The Red Plague

Catulla intended to leave court for fear of Lucio’s wrath after reading her resignation letter; however, she had been called back by the Countess, who’d asked her to help her and Doctor Devorak improve the quality of life in Vesuvia through public works projects, something she’d studied as an architectural student in Prakra at one point.

When the Count contracted the plague as well, she’d taken over this public works project as Julian was tasked to find a cure; during her meetings with the courtiers, she’d learned from her brother, acting Interim Consul, that their father had also contracted the plague.

Masquerade

At one point, Catulla had suffered a breakdown from the stress and vanished mysteriously, to the chagrin of her brother, it was this that prevented her from being present at the Masquerade where Lucio was murdered.

It was later revealed that just before the masquerade, she’d decided to run away from Vesuvia, no longer able to withstand the pressures of running the public works project, or the fear for her father and the Count despite her better judgement. She had moved around over the next three years from here to there, working as a painter for tourists and passerby, her pride preventing her from returning to Vesuvia and asking her brother for help.

Aftermath

She was later found to be living in Nevivon by Lucio, newly freed from his Devils’ bargain and banished by Nadia from Vesuvia no less, selling portrait miniatures or scenic paintings to tourists and passerby on the street. She couldn’t recall him, not even able to put a name to his face-- this had prompted him to bring her back to the palace despite Nadia’s threats of punishment to see her own artworks hanging up over the halls, hoping to prompt her memory to return.

It was there she’d run into her brother, shocked to see her alive and well for all those years, and shocked even more to see Lucio of all people with her, who he’d called the guards on, running him out of the palace once again.

Despite her suspicions, he made an effort to reconcile and show that he wasn’t the asshole she’d believed him to be in their earlier years. Over time, as she gradually returned to palace life, the gaps in her memories gradually filled in, and she was welcomed back in helping Nadia and Julian with their aqueduct projects.

However, there was always a missing piece, it felt like, in their mind, and they hadn’t realized what it was till Nadia mentioned offhandedly she didn’t really wish to have Lucio’s portraits hanging around anymore, but she also felt guilty if she were to throw away Catulla’s works, prompting the artist to ask after Lucio...

Trivia

Callixta, Catulla’s unused personal name, means chalice, and is shared with her brother. Her cognomen that’s most commonly used, Catulla, means wise or good judgement. As with Roman naming conventions, her family name is in the feminine form.

Calixta can speak at least six different languages as part of her formal education.

She suffers from selective memory loss and can’t remember any of the time she spent at Court, though she recalls her education, early years, and family quite well.

Her story plays out in a continuation of Nadia’s route rather than in Lucio’s own route.

She’s not a magician, nor are any of her known family members, but doesn’t have quite as much a dislike for magic as Valerius does, and her instinct and intuition is unusually sharp for someone without magic.

She has a smooth voice that “sounds like a Disney princess”.

#the arcana #the arcana ocs #the arcana fan characters #the arcana original character #lucio x oc #catulla claudia #callixta claudia catulla

[metellastella]

Mao Mao Pride Week Prompts, Part 3

A continuation of the prompts put out by @maomaosmother Part 1 https://metellastella.tumblr.com/post/621726687992872960/hello-everyone-happy-pride-month-to-all-of-you Part 2 https://metellastella.tumblr.com/post/621834183114932224/mao-mao-pride-week-prompts

7. Marriage

“But first,” Mao’s sister clapped her hands together, “I wanna talk weddings some more!”

“Right on!” the badger agreed. He whooped. 

“Oh good grief,” Mao rolled his eyes. “Fine. You two can chat with the king about the possibility. And I reiterate. Possibility. When you’re ready to make good on your promise, come find me.” 

She clucked her tongue in disapproval. “Fine. Be the usual stick in the mud. Don’t know why I’m surprised.” 

He grabbed a few more things off his plate and left. 

“So,” she sat back down, “I guess if you favor men, the animals here didn’t have to petition for marriage laws to be amended, huh?” 

”Correct.” the lion replied. 

“Though some thought I was … ironically … being ‘biased.’ Oh well. Can’t help that. Royal power is absolute, for better or worse. I’ve traveled to other nations and, during debates, have suggested that they not use the term ‘marriage’ as I have. Law is, at least in some peoples’ opinions, supposed to be ‘secular,’ and not ‘religious,’ anyway, so why cling to a specific term that isn’t? Simply afford all the exact same rights to civil unions or domestic partnerships. Or make up a third designation. Much easier to get it passed that way. Bypasses a whole lot of entrenched resistance. People can hash out in their own communities what to do with the non-legal angles and rituals and what to call it. But for a ‘marriage’ certificate? What, after all, is a rhetorical difference, in the end?” the diplomat and statesman snapped his fingers. “And like that, less angst for absolutely everyone involved. It’s not always that easy to reconcile or find middle ground. I can’t think of practically any other issues where simply altering one single word could have that effect. Despite a couple of decades worth of rhetorical experience under my belt.”

He sat back, and interlaced his paws contentedly. “Some countries insisted they were still going to adjust tax breaks because of the very unlikely event of children. Unless surrogates are involved, and properly registered as such, to try to avoid wrangling over child custody. That’s a whole other kettle of fish to get into, obviously.” 

She nodded. “Well like Mao said, I’m not here to talk politics. Let’s hear your fantasies about the most important day of your life!”

The badger shook his head. “Well it’s not like that for everyone, but don’t get me wrong, I wanna hear, too!” he said excitedly. 

“Erm … “ the lion looked down. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked. 

“It’s just … I’m more enthusiastic about the idea than Mao, but I’m still a long way off from that myself. So, I don’t want to insult you by making you think I’m further along, just because I have envisioned a marriage … regardless of who the groom is.”

She frowned a little, thinking. “All right then.”

“But I would love to hear about some of your customs, in that event.”

Her face fell some more. “I’m not sure that would be a good idea.”

“Oh?”

“The homeland, though the majority is plenty accepting of pairing in general, has not approved marriage between men,” she said, “so any customs you applied to each other or one of you … might be seen as disrespectful. For example. Would Mao dress as the woman, since he’s chosen to sub? Not only do I think he would never, ever do that …” she looked at the badger for confirmation.

He shook his head, “Oh most definitely not.” He thought for a second. “Maybe that’s why he got up out of here, for that matter. He thought we were gonna suggest doing that. We’ve been to weddings like that. Again, a little like misgendering, no? Even in the rare cases where he gets a mind for it, he’s not at all like a typical sub.”

The badger paused. 

“He doesn’t really fit in when I would hang out with other subs. One panda I met just could not wrap his mind around Mao. It was kinda funny. Irritating for him, though. I would be totally down for dressing like the female counterpart in a wedding, if it were me. I’ve pictured it both ways. Maybe even a costume change in the middle?” he waggled his eyebrows. “Or whatever my partner wanted? If a polar bear gave me any direction I’d melt under his strong paw,” his gaze unfocused, and he hummed appreciatively. “Tuxedo? Coming right up. What color? What style? White wool tunic and stole, as is customary for you big guy? I’ll match you! Usus? My Ursus. My dear ursine. Coemptio? Confarreati? Gown? Dress? You got it, my bae bear. I’m male, sure, but a lot more loosey-goosey in that way. But. It’s not me.”

He sighed romantically. 

“If I understand Mao,” the lion said slowly, “in general, he’s less sentimental, at the very least in expression, so maybe it’s simply that he doesn’t get as wrapped up in it as you or I would.” 

The badger shrugged. 

“Also, women tend to get more excited about wedding planning. Not a hard and fast rule of course, but I think we’ve established that you and I have a lot more in common with women, so it makes sense we’d be more enamored, even if it didn’t necessarily need to be that way.”

The badger slapped his forehead. “Oh yeah, wow. How could I not think of that!” He put his paw down and gestured towards her. “I mean this whole conversation we've had a vibe and Mao has seemed the odd one out, gender wise, but I didn’t consider that.”

The badger went on, “Even without a wedding on the table, which is usually headed up by women in this part of the world, it’s often awkward in the first place for a typical guy to be in a room with all women and vice versa … so this visit has kinda been like that for him, I think. I mean, Mao’s always eager enough to go to a wedding, excited about hitting on and dancing with some ladies, and all, but that doesn’t mean he’d necessarily enjoy planning one. He might even leave it all up to you even if he was totally ready for it!” 

The three femme animals spent the next few hours discussing flower arrangements, color palettes, the band of tolerant aristocracy he would invite, and who among the clan would approve enough to come. That was hard for the sister to get through, as she thought of those she loved who would refuse to give their blessing and ‘miss all the fun.’

8. Self-Acceptance

Mao threw up his hands in exasperation. “This was different than anything anybody knew of. Other clans’ elders who had wielders hurt badly were brought in to consult. We wielders can be slammed around by dragons, can be thrown into the ground and make craters, and walk away. With lesser wielders, bruises could be shrugged off and healed. But SOMEHOW, the universe had, like a homing pigeon bent on mouse’s blood, found one little chink in our armor. . . . Delicate tails aren’t resistant enough to damage to withstand direct crush force. Some of the visiting canine elders spoke of a time when groups of semi-sapient non-magical hunting dogs had their flowing, floppy ears or long tails surgically cropped to keep them from injuring themselves on hunts. To potentially avoid something like this happening again … by cave-ins, like mine, by boulders hurled by some types of dragons, even just being stepped on by a dragon big enough …  Should all wielder animals, intending to fight these beasts … should every species with long tails start doing this removal with our children, they asked? With consent, of course. Like removing tonsils or primates removing the appendix? Lizards probably couldn’t do it, because their slanted gait was too dependent and their tails too heavy. So maybe just the tips? Surely the thicker parts of their tails withstand something like this? They asked. The elders of felines and canines and rodents and otters … the later they waited to dock tails in a trainee’s life, the more they would have to adjust to the missing counterbalance just as I was. They swarmed me and questioned me about it relentlessly. They were asking among themselves … What age would this terrible offered choice be appropriate?”

His green eyes widened in horror at these questions. As if he needed any more psychological stress after being temporarily crippled, he seemed to have altered the entire course of history with the way clans viewed preparation for wielder heroes.

“Inwardly, I felt like …” he once again tried to force the words out he had started before. “I felt like I was causing an implosion of the whole clan. The tranquil meditation spaces were overrun with visitors. Children still hid from me. Our elders argued over whether they should move me for the duration of my recovery, from the clan’s circle. They argued over what to do about the little ones. But didn’t I deserve to feel safe, too? Of course I was ripping everyone apart! It was what always happened when I was around! When we were all younger, and my sisters occasionally came to my defense from one another or dad, I felt it was somehow my fault they argued, too.”

Even if the elders made these new procedures for children voluntary, he would still be virtually ‘responsible’ for possibly unneeded selective surgical alteration of innocents.

“Blue says that’s common, for bullied children to feel like it’s their fault.”

He looked towards the door, probably thinking of the dog’s unruffled voice of reason.

“I try to listen to him. I try to like myself. B-but I … it seemed l-like my family w-was disintegrating because of m-m-me. And my stupid ‘mistake.’ The whole world of wielders, even! Sometimes it still does, when they visit …! Arguing over father’s treatment of me. Remember when my sister said she wasn’t sure starting arguments over lesser wielders was worth unsettling future heroes? Now imagine what I was thinking when the little ones didn’t feel safe in the circle of the clan because of me. I was drowning in self-blame and the only way I felt I could escape it was to work harder, push myself more, and get away from there.” 

Could Blue even help him out of this? The lion pictured him like a seeing eye dog this time, trying for all the world to lead the black cat out of such darkness. 

Bonus:

From my second story, Outnumbered. Tanya sashayed around the red-caped cat. “Hello Mittens.” “Tanya I swear if you do not stop calling me that, I’m going to use the wrong pronouns for you,” the cat threatened. “Touchy, touchy,” the tanuki tutted teasingly, but her normally chipper attitude got a dent in it. “As if that’s an even trade, anyway.” The masculine magic cat said gruffly, “Maybe not. But I’m tired of you mocking me without consequences. Just because that’s the only thing that ever gets under your skin is no fault of mine. Perky little miss.” She rolled her eyes. “So, you try to make gendering me correctly even sound derogatory. No wonder I broke up with you.” The cat’s fists tightened, but he spoke cooly. “If you can’t handle all this. I’ll just find someone who can.” 

“Like the king you’re serving as a bodyguard to?” the fox-like animal said in a silken tone. “The only kind of lion with no birth mane. Are you a chaser, you dog?” “First off. No. How dare you. Targeting gender non-conforming animals may not be officially dishonorable, but as a concept, it is,” the samurai bristled, “We’re not involved, and we’re never going to be. We’re not attracted to each other, as my nose could clearly tell if he was. Second of all. Since when do you have something against dogs?” “It’s an expression.” “An expression that’s derogatory towards dogs,” the cat sneered. “I can’t imagine the blue therapist dog could be less like that. It’s like ‘sexist pig.’ The yellow pig back in Pure Heart would be crushed if he ever heard someone utter it. Yet outside that nice little paradise, it’s a common saying. King Snugglemagne is having to adjust mightily to the outside world. You may be used to it, steeped in it, but for magic’s sake, stop teasing him about it.” “Oh, a king can’t take a little hardship?” she said lazily. “Of course not, he’s been ensconced in his fancy-pants palace. Now that he has an idea of how it is for everyone else, he crumples at the slightest trouble. Sorry I can’t muster up enough energy to care.” “You should care. Given that he has the same problems you do.” “With pronouns? Puh. Since I’m a roaming outlaw,” the orange animal said flouncily, “I don’t expect either other crooks or enforcers I encounter to respect that my gender doesn’t match my body’s smell. The former doesn’t even respect the law, so why should I take that personally? And the latter are more focused on getting me behind bars. So, no, not my problem. Too much of a bother.” “If you settled down, and got a respectable job,” the cat pointed out, “Established yourself as a constant presence, people would probably collectively accept you.” She laughed derisively. “Oh no, I value my freedom far more than that, Mi-” she swallowed back the nickname. He laughed just as derisively. “I see you do value my word on the matter, though,” he said suggestively. “Are you just not as tough as you make out, or do you still harbor some feelings for me, my sweet little illusionist?” 

She opened her mouth, but then shut it again. 

“You slippery mirage master,” he said “you do, don’t you?”

He paused. “Hm. ‘Master,’ maybe I should say ‘Mistress’?” he amended. “There’s . . . really no good choice there,” she chuckled hesitantly. “There are ‘Head Mistresses’ at some schools in Snugglemagne’s kingdom,” the cat pointed out. 

“Yes but . . . still has connotations. I don’t break the law that way,” she said, normally carefree attitude wobbling. “Even I have standards.”

“Hasn't stopped you from dangling the offer to get what you want,” he said. 

She blushed.

“Yeah, word gets around,” he went on blithely as she uncomfortably gripped one of her arms. “Don't know why I should be surprised that playing with hearts isn't beneath you. But more to the point. I know you’re ultimately reasonably principled in that arena, if really flirty. You ever want to get back together, babe, the invitation is open,” he winked. 

“And endure your jealous behavior again? I think not. I’ll file that away with other useless knowledge,” she said icily. 

“Oh that’s not like you,” he said in a low baritone. “You’re sweet to everyone, even if they can’t catch the mocking tone sometimes.” “Not everyone’s as smart as you, cupcake.” He looked caught off guard by the compliment. “She brushed her fingers under his chin. “I guess you’ll just have to miss me.”

She somersaulted away from him, waving goodbye and blowing a kiss.  He said under his breath, “As if I’d ever misgender you. You may play a lot of mind games, love, but you didn’t catch that bluff.”

Comic page: https://metellastella.tumblr.com/post/621837213819437056/mao-maos-specific-trigger-should-not-be First chapter of Piercing the Swordsman https://metellastella.tumblr.com/post/617045879413719040/piercing-the-swordsman-chapter-1

@beesechurguer @king-himbo

#maomaosprideweek2020 #mao mao heroes of pure heart #mao mao snugglemagne #snugglemao #badgerclops #mao mao sisters #fanfiction #LGBT Pride Month #piercingtheswordsman

[any-n-everything]

MDZS Read Through (3/?)

Chapter 2: Reincarnation

Translations taken from Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Wei WuXian received a kick [...].

The way MXTX opens her chapters is just *chef’s kiss*.

[...] ‘that’s quite a lot of courage you have to kick me, the Patriarch.’

He’s been dead for 13 years and this is his first thought upon reincarnating. What an icon.

(To be fair, he did wake up to someone kicking him, so...)

Add a blood-red tongue onto the features, and he would look like a hanged ghost.

Hanged ghost. Diao si gui. In Chinese folklore, they’re the ghosts of people who died from hanging due to various reasons, such as execution, suicide, or accidents. I wonder if MXY felt as though his life was like a noose around his neck and, in one last act of personal agency, he executed himself by resurrecting the Yiling Laozu to fulfill his desire for revenge.

It turned out that, in fact, he did not seize the body of another—he was offered one.

It was an ancient, forbidden technique. Compared to an array, it resembled a curse more.

So, rather than what the manhua led me to believe, the novel states that the Body Offering Array is NOT a WWX Original (TM), but an ancient array that’s more like a curse. Although, personally, I do believe that it’s possible that WWX came across ancient texts and translated this particular array from those texts. Perhaps he even improved upon the existing array, as the Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation.

Although his reputation wasn’t great and he had died in a horrifying way, he neither haunts the living nor seeks vengeance. He could swear that one can’t find another wandering ghost as harmless as him.

This honestly raises the question of whether or not WWX was aware at all after his death. How does he know that he never haunted anyone? How does he know that he was just a harmless wandering ghost?

When she was sixteen, the leader of a well-known cultivation family was passing by the area, and fell in love with her at first sight

*spit-takes* JGS fell in love? Is he capable of such emotions??

Also, I know 16 is appalling but before you scream “Underage!!”, just know that 16 y/o was the marriageable age of Ancient Chinese women. For men it was, I think, 20 y/o. So what’s abhorrent about Second Lady Mo’s situation isn’t that she was 16 (this is arguable, but please hear me out), but it was how this random guy came along, had sex with her, got her pregnant, and shamed her by not taking responsibility and marrying her.

And the Mo Family let him. Because he was the Sect Leader of a prominent cultivation sect.

The second-lady of Mo did not want to accept this; she firmly believed that the Sect Leader would not turn a deaf ear to his own son. Sure enough, when Mo XuanYu turned fourteen, the Sect Leader took him back.

The second-lady stuck her nose up in the air again, and told everyone that her son would most certainly become an Immortal* as fast as he could, and bring glory on his ancestors.

Oh, man. The way this is phrased makes it seem like Second Lady Mo was very much aware that JGS didn’t really place her in his heart, but still believed that their son meant something to the man. I honestly wonder if JGS ever cared for anyone other than himself.

Mo XuanYu was homosexual, and had enough nerve to harass the other disciples.

See, the thing that bothers me here is the fact that, at this point in time, WWX is reading what MXY wrote. So did MXY admit that he was a homosexual and that he harassed other disciples? Or did he write that he was accused of such things? Because there’s a large difference between the two and I really want to piece together MXY as a character damn it.

[...] when Mo XuanYu returned, he often behaved in a crazy manner, almost as if his life was scared out of him.

What did JGY do? How did he scare this poor boy sh*tless??

After he went back home dejectedly, he was bombarded with ridicule. The situation seemed like it was beyond redemption, and the second-lady of Mo was not able to withstand the blow, shortly choking to death because of the trauma. 

I---Stress? Was it... stress that killed her? Shame? What kind of trauma...?

Wei WuXian couldn’t help but to say, “You’ve got the wrong person…”

Can we just... hug WWX? He was literally brought back to life against his will after a sh*tty first life and a sh*tty death, and now his only choices in his second life are to either a.) commit a family massacre or b.) have his soul ripped to shreds and be unable to reincarnate.

Like wow. MXTX really doesn’t baby her protagonists, huh.

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #mdzs read through

[artificialqueens]

[hey baby] i think i wanna marry you (Kasia) - PinkGrapefruit

A/N - I am here, I am queer, I have written Kam/Asia for this fic challenge! I used the trope ‘A and B are best friends who are secretly in love with each other and neither knows’ along with a healthy does of drunk marriage and it being on tour. Ot was lowkey inspired by this instagram. Thanks to frey for being one of my favourite tumblr humans (and also less importantly beta-ing this mess, it was chaotic.) There will be more whether you like it or not, Enjoy!

*

He wakes up with a pounding head and a heavy heart. He can feel the sweat on his back as the person pressed to his front shifts a little, erection pressing against his own. If he opens his eyes he might vomit, he muses to himself.

Kameron does this all the time. He’s a little proud of who he becomes when he drinks Tequila- happier, brighter, more forthcoming. What he’s not used to though, is when the man is still there by the next morning. From the vague smell of pancakes wafting through the crack under the hotel door, he deduces it’s probably around breakfast and he figures this is the best time to quietly kick someone out of the room (he assumes it’s his room with a great deal of hope, because there is no way in hell he could leave quietly). He brings the hand not sandwiched under the other person up to his face and rubs it hard, tries to tell if there’s any makeup left caked on there and is grateful to feel that it’s clear. Leaving the hand, he gently holds his head as he attempts to open his eyes. He closes them immediately under the assault of bright light.

If he is correct (and god knows he’s seen him asleep enough to think he is), the person curled into his side like a koala is no one other than Asia O'Hara.

He’s not angry, maybe just a little stressed, as he tries to slowly pull out his arm from underneath the sleeping man. Admittedly, it’s an adorable sight as he snuggles closer to Kameron in his sleep, a hazy smile gracing his lips. The taller man smiles to himself, a quiet, subtle smile. Once he’s released his arm from the numb hell of being a pillow, he makes to sit up, gently sliding in a way that removes Asia’s head from his bare chest. He stretches the arm lazily and he sees something glint in the early morning sun. He closes his eyes again, hopes it’s a mirage - a mind-forged hope for the future. Unfortunately, when he opens his eyes for the fourth time, it’s still there. He panics.

The steel feels hot on his finger, burning like a long forgotten sin or something like that. He removes it quickly but the mark remains - etched into his soft skin like an omen

Then Asia wakes up.

*

Eureka is just being Eureka and that’s fair enough, but when Asia calls him out for acting like he’s the ‘Kam whisperer’, there’s a flood of relief that flows through him like never before. He’s a ball of nervous energy at this point, let’s be honest - all of them are - and being in the top four means so much, but he can’t help to stare at Asia instead of actually writing the rap.

It’s not a problem (but then again, they didn’t think Vanjie’s outfit would be one, and yet here they are).

So he stares and over the course of the day (and the entirety of filming) he realises he might have a small (read massive) crush on Asia O'Hara. But it’s okay, not a problem. He hopes they’ll never have to lipsync against each other and moves on. Not a problem.

*

Asia wakes up and the reality of the matter hits Kameron in the face. It’s like a cargo train, heavy and loud, and suddenly he can’t tell if it’s the hangover or the anxiety that makes him want to throw up. It might be both but Asia’s reaction is worse.

He doesn’t react, not a smile, not a frown, just a blank expression as he stares Kameron down for a second.

“If,” he starts hesitant, voice shaking. “If I asked what happened, would I like the answer?”

Kameron frowns, if he squints enough he’s sure he’ll see Asia smiling on the other side of this hangover, but his head feels like someone is driving a spike through it with every ray of light he takes in. He shrugs, non-committal and easy. One look at Asia tells him this was not the right move.

They do not speak as Kameron shifts out of the bed, suddenly aware of his lack of clothing, as he tries to separate his stuff from the other man’s on the floor where they’d thrown them the night before. They do not talk as Asia twists the steel band on his finger round and round and when Kameron leaves without a word, Asia does not follow. He just waits calmly in the taller man’s bed, hopes that something good can come out of this, when all he has is a vow and a little bit of hope.

Fortunately, he has known the other man long enough, has toured with him for enough time, that he knows exactly where he’s gone.

The gym is pretty empty but it still manages to smell of stale sweat and rubber - the scents mixing in the air to form a displeasing aroma that hits Asia the second he walks through the door. He leans against a wall and watches as Kameron punches a bag with such power that he is a little glad the other man doesn’t get angry very often. It’s mesmerising and terrifying all at once to see the bag swing so ferociously. He waits for long enough to see him unwrap his fists, sees the drops of red on the white bandage and leaves. There’s an overwhelming feeling of violating his privacy.

He took the key for Kameron’s room and not his own, so he returns to the bed, making himself comfortable on the covers that housekeeping had smoothed and fluffed in the time he’s been downstairs. He notices Kameron’s ring on the bedside table, tries to convince himself it wouldn’t be smart to wear a ring when boxing, and settles into the cushions. Waits, although for what - he’s not sure.

*

Asia pulls him aside in the interval, smiling like a Cheshire cat, and practically begs him to do a stupid dance at the closing. He doesn’t say no, wouldn’t be able to - not when he’s slightly in love with the man under all that makeup. It’s been a long, slow-building crush but he’s not mad - couldn’t be, his brain chose mighty well. The queen in question is currently in half drag - a product of having an hour to do a costume change - and the way his jeans fall on him is sinful (Kameron isn’t wearing a shirt, he doesn’t really have the right to declare anything sinful).

He’s convinced pretty quickly by the way the man’s tongue dips over his lips to wet them halfway through a pleading ‘just copy me,’ and he really can’t say no.

They dance like idiots and it’s the most fun he’s had all tour, the grin on his face giving it away the second he looks at Asia.

“I should make you dance stupidly more often,” He says as they step off the stage, Kameron’s smile still wider than ever. “That was cute, Kam.”

Kameron doesn’t think the smile will ever leave his face again.

*

He calls Aquaria. He’s not entirely sure why, and later will decide it was a pretty terrible decision, but he calls the man nonetheless - searching for answers. He picks up on the fourth ring.

“Hey Ant, what’s up?” His voice is high and chirpy and it makes Asia want to throw up or throw something - maybe both.

“Hey Gio, you - ” It takes him a second to decide on wording, he doesn’t need to make this weird or obvious or involve Kam, he just wants answers. “You wouldn’t happen to know what happened last night, would you?”

Aquaria sighs down the phone and he can picture him running a hand through his hair.

“Let me guess, you got fucked?”

“NO. No, nope nothing like that.” He defends quickly, prays the younger man cannot hear the stutter in his voice as he lies through his teeth.

“Look, I don’t know - we were at a bar and you and Dane took a bunch of Tequila shots and then fucked off to somewhere. Call me back when you find out, I wanna hear the details.”

Asia hangs up.

When Kameron gets back, he does not expect the other man to be curled up in his duvet, drinking coffee and watching ‘Golden Girls’. That’s what happens, but he does not expect it. He also doesn’t expect the warm smile he gets, or the amicable nod when he lets the other man know that he’s just going to take a shower, he shouldn’t be long.

He lets the hot water pummel his body, wash away any blood from his knuckles and the soreness from his muscles. Hopes it will wipe him clean of the previous night like holy water, cleanse him of his sins till white roses grow in the cracks of his skin instead of moss.

When his mind is a little clearer and his skin a little softer, he returns to the bedroom. They have to talk it out.

*

So they did have to lipsync against each other eventually and it was terrible and awful and Asia has never felt such an overwhelming urge to quit and never come back. It’s like an ocean has hit him all at once, knocking down years of strong floodwalls that they all thought could withstand anything. He starts running the second he leaves the stage and when Kameron follows, mere seconds later, he pulls the shorter man into a bear hug. He needs it.

They stand there for what feels like hours, Asia holding on for dear life, as Kameron drops kisses on his forehead and tells him it is all going to be okay. And maybe he doesn’t believe him yet, but he thinks he might be able to - one day.

*

They both sit there a little nervous. If the energy in the room was set alight, it would burn the hotel down easily, but that’s not what they need when they’ve got a show to rehearse for in six hours.

Asia starts when he gets impatient, a little huff escaping his lips which Kameron finds utterly endearing.

“Why did you leave?” he asks and though the other man feels there are more pressing questions, he can’t really answer this one.

“Because - because I was scared, I guess?”

“Yeah. But of what?” Asia rolls his eyes a little, wants to probe into the answer so much that he knows the raw emotions Kameron is hiding behind his walls.

“Scared of what, Dane?” He tries again, softer, as the Nashville queen comes to rest his head on the pillow next to where he is sitting. Asia runs his fingers through his damp hair, twists it and plays with it as the man thinks.

“I guess, Tequila Dane is more confident than regular Dane. And I know that I want it, maybe not in this exact way but I want it. And I’m scared that Tequila Antwan wants things you don’t.”

He sighs into his hands, palms rubbing his face till it’s a little red, eyes screwed shut to avoid looking at Asia who’s fingers are still intertwined in his hair. The other man looks worried, eyes soft and warm as they gaze down on the taller man.

“I have seen Tequila Dane before,” he muses to himself. Kameron removes his hands from his face and rubs them up and down his towel.

“I like you.” He says calmly and without hesitation. “Like, like you,” he adds with a small smirk. Asia raises an eyebrow, matches the other man’s face with a practised ease - teeth white like snow.

“Well, I ain’t mad about this.”

*

They’re running, Asia'a hand in his, as they power down a back alley heading towards a gaudy looking chapel. Its entrance reflects neon into the puddle between the cobblestones, Kameron’s feet slipping every so often causing the other man to catch him (not that that would be much help, they are hammered).

When they reach the front door, Asia pulls the taller man’s head down to his, kisses each cheek before letting their lips melt together- slow, languid. It is a moment of warmth in a downpour, the water from Kam’s hair dripping down his face like tear tracks but happier. With their combined bodyweight, Asia still wrapped in Kameron’s arms, they push through the door together. This is a terrible idea, they are both drunk.

*

Kameron moves his head so it’s on Asia’s lap and convinces himself it’s so that he can play with his hair easier - doesn’t think about why he’s enjoying it so - or why he feels like he’s on fire with every touch.

“So,” he muses after they finish a fourth episode of ’Golden Girls’. “What do we do now?”

Asia shuffles down so he’s lying, faces close enough that when he sticks his tongue out it touches the other man’s nose.

“We could do this?” He says before surging forward, lips on Kameron’s with a fervour he’s never felt before. It’s like the drop on a rollercoaster when you’ve been waiting in suspense for too long - free falling but knowing that you are still safe, and warm, and loved. It’s deep sea diving and knowing you’re wearing the mask and are attached to the boat - freedom within comfort. He yearns for more, just like oxygen- it’s the only thing that keeps him going, and Kameron’s teeth are on his lips and on his neck and god. He didn’t know kissing could feel this good.

They stop when they realise that Kameron is dangerously close to getting a hickey that would not be covered by his outfit - a mistake they don’t need broadcasted to the entire cast. Instead, they cuddle as they both quietly slip their rings back onto their right hands this time - no one needs to know.

“I feel like this is all the wrong way round,” Kameron mumbles into Asia’s head as they snuggle under the duvet and he feels the man go stiffer under the covers, his body suddenly tense.

“No, no not like that hun,” he quickly soothes, “I mean, Antwan, my dear husband, would you like to go on a first date with me?”

“No strings attached?” he jokes.

“Sure baby, I’d love to.”

*

“Do you, Anton, take Daniel to be your lawfully wedded husband?” The officiant looks bored, like he’s not even trying anymore and to be fair, it’s the worst side of midnight so he can’t really be blamed.

“Uhuh,” Kameron nudges him, falling slightly in a fit of giggles.

“Sorry, yes, I do.”

“Do you, Daniel, take Anton to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

Asia smiles, a big bright white smile and even in his Tequila haze, Kameron falls a little more.

“I do.”

“Well, with the power vested in me by the Internet, I now pronounce you husbands. Kiss.”

When they do, it is sloppy and messy and they are drunk at 3.am. in a fast chapel. But they’re both a little in love, and it’s okay. It’s perfect.

*

#rpdr fanfiction #asia x kameron #kameron michaels #asia o'hara #fluff #angst #drunk marriage #fic challenge #pinkgrapefruit #concrit welcome #submission #rare pair #s10 #canon compliant

[inadeepanddarkdecember]

⊙ My muse to hold yours back from self-destructive behavior (which is cy holding Jay back in royal au bc I want that Sweet Sweet Role Reversal)

After months of careful planning, the day was finally, finally here. Cyrus still wasn’t totally sure if his parents had bought it—that he and Jay were oh-so in love—but they had consented to this union just the same. Now, they just had to sell it to the rest of the kingdom.

Over the course of the past few weeks, nobility of all stripes had flooded the small town like a plague of locusts. He hadn’t invited them—but his parents had. After all, who could miss the disreputed crown prince’s marriage to such a lowly lovely bride. Their judgement of this farce would the difference between a life of peace and his parents’ rescinding their consent and pulling him back into their clutches. That much they had made clear, under smiles and gentle words, beneath the assurances of a good woman they offered should this not work out.

Cyrus could feel himself slipping back into old habits, snapping at servants, biting his tongue on the urge to ruin everything for the brief satisfaction of telling everyone exactly what he thought of them. It had worsened with the arrival of his parents several days ago, taking up residence in the estate and running it like this wasn’t the home they had foisted him onto for the past ten years. But soon, they would leave. The day was here.

Cyrus’s wedding clothes offered a new discomfort. Layers of hose, breeches, shirts, and overcoats offered him more mobility than his dresses and robes at the cost of their tightness around his limbs, and their excess of weight—every layer was crafted from heavy brocade made heavier with glistening embroidery. His overcoat especially had been structured to broaden his shoulders as much as his narrow frame would allow. His delicate jewels had been exchanged for thick metal pieces sporting large gemstones, a necklace that weighed down his neck and a crown heavy on his head. His stylist had apologized as she wove his hair into intricate braids, but he had waved her off. It was unpleasant, but it was one day. He could withstand it.

He, however, was not the only one stressed. He heard Jay’s shouting before he saw her, foul-mouthed furious curses echoing down the hall. He ran.

Panting, Cyrus arrived at Jay’s dressing room just in time to see a poor, cowering servant sputtering useless complacencies stumble out into the hall, shortly followed by Jay herself. She wore her wedding dress—a feat unto itself—and all its skirts were gathered, to the best of her ability, into one arm. Her face was twisted into a furious grimace with a knife sourced from lord knows where clutched in her teeth, and in her other hand, she held a fistful of her own hair, shorn from her head, which she hurled at the servant. She grabbed the handle of the knife and lifted it over her head, stretching the dress’s skirts out in front of her, but before she could strike, he moved.  

“Jay, stop!” He strode toward her as her gaze snapped toward him, and he pushed her back into the room. Over his shoulder, to the servant, he said, “Get Celestine.”

He shut the door behind him. Jay stood a few feet away, her knuckles white around the handle of the knife, as she started talking, “I gotta get out of this dress, Cy, I can’t fucking  do this, I can’t, I look dumb as hell,” she choked out a small, hysterical laugh. “No one’s going to buy this, I’m not a goddamn lady, nevermind a bride, and if one more person touches me, or tries to tell me how pretty I am, or, or, fucking asks if I think I’m gonna have kids, I’m gonna,” she gestured vaguely with the knife, “I’m gonna scream.”

“Okay,” he glanced around; there had so be something, something to say, something to inspire him—there. He snatched a pillow up off a chair and shoved it into her hands, and Jay back towards the couch behind her. “If you’re going to scream, then scream. Do it here, now. The ceremony’s in two hours, and it will only take one. That’s three hours, Jay, three hours, then you can burn the dress for all I care. Then we never have to deal with this bullshit or these people again.”

Stepping past her, Cyrus sat on the couch. Her struggle with thought and feeling was clear on her face, and for several seconds she stood there before she dropped onto the couch beside him. She stabbed the knife into the armrest, then pressed the pillow to her face and screamed, long and loud. He waited for her. When she ran out of breath and lifted the pillow away, he asked, “Feel better?”

She paused to think about it, then said, “No,”  and lifted the pillow to her face to scream again.

When she finished, he asked, “How about now?”

“A little.”

Cyrus found himself a little at a loss at what to say next. He couldn’t tell her she was free to strip it all off and go running off into the woods like she seemed to want to. He lifted his hand, but wavered and gestured to the knife. “Where did you get that?”

Jay lifted her skirt and stuck out her leg to reveal a hidden sheath strapped to her calf. “I wanted to be prepared in case any of those assholes tried something.”

He snorted a bit. “Good idea.”

She glanced at him. “You look like a fucking tool, you know that?”

“I feel like one.”

Now it was her turn to scoff, just a little. She nudged his shoulder. “Tools together?”

“Only for the next three hours. Then we can go back to being bastards together.”

The noise she made was closer to a laugh. “Next time I got to be a goddamn lady, I want a body double.”

“We can hold auditions. You can guard my scrawny ass full time.”

Her smile held, for a moment, but then it vanished into fear as her hand came up to touch the cut ends of her hair. Her hair had never been very long, but half of it was still tied and curled into style while freed strands hung in her face. “Have I ruined it?”

He guessed the ‘it’ in question wasn’t merely her hair, but nevertheless, he eyed her appraisingly. “Celestine can fix that.”

Right on cue, there was a knock on the door.

#vague whisperings #desertfragments #jay #drabble #royalty au

[slapshot-to-the-heart]

Incomplete

Hey friends!! So, we’re here. The end of our journey with Alex and Harry. It’s been a wild ride, and I can’t thank you all enough for sticking by this story, even throughout the spotty updates these past few weeks. Please let me know what you think, and as always, enjoy!

Incomplete

April 2021

I breathe in slow to compose myself

In. Out. In. Out. Alex leaned her back against the stone wall of St. Peter’s, clutching her bouquet in one hand and the other set over her heart, feeling it beating beneath her hand. Her veil was set, the delicate heels on her feet and not a hair on her head was out of sorts. It was supposed to be the happiest day of her life, so why did she feel like her chest was about to explode? It was ten minutes until the wedding started, and Alex was scared out of her mind. The hundreds of hours she had spend planning, nearly twenty years of friendship and two and a half years of dating was all going to come to fruition. She had removed herself from the hustle and bustle of her bridal suite; her five bridesmaids mixed with mimosas was just a little too much for her to handle. Jules, Gemma, Clare, Sarah, and her childhood friend Emily had been her saving grace during the planning process, especially the last few weeks. As the date got closer, Alex got more and more nervous. She knew Harry loved her unconditionally, that was beyond question. She was more worried about herself. Would she trip down the aisle? What if people hated the cake they had chosen? She thought vanilla with raspberry jam and lemon curd sounded fantastic, but what if everyone would have preferred chocolate? It was eight minutes until the wedding started, and she was questioning everything.

A quiet knock sounded from the wooden door next to her. She had tucked herself away in what she was under the impression was a secluded corner of the church’s courtyard, and wasn’t sure who it would be. She had told Gemma, her maid of honor, that everything was okay— she loved Harry more than anything and wasn’t running off, just needed a minute to herself.

“Lex?” She’d know that voice anywhere. Scrambling around the corner, she could hear Harry’s chuckle. “Don’t worry. My eyes are closed. I’m not going to look at the dress. Just heard you were gettin’ a bit nervous, wanted to see if I could help any.”

“I’m just having a hard time wrapping my mind around all it, you know?”

“The wedding or the whole marriage thing itself?” Harry asked.

She sighed. “Bit of both?”

He reached a hand around the door, and Alex realized that he wanted her to hold his hand. Gripping it like a lifeline, Alex took a few breaths, trying to steady her breathing. “And whatever fears you have are 100% valid, I’d never tell you anything otherwise. All I can tell you is I love you more than your fears. I’m so ridiculously excited to take this next step with you, and I know that we’ll be strong enough to withstand whatever obstacles come in our way. Whether they’re in ten minutes, or ten days, or ten years, we’re a team and nothing you could do would make me love you less.” It was five minutes until the wedding started, and Alex’s heart rate was steadying.

“Have I ever told you how much in love with you I am, H?” Alex asked softly.

“Once or twice,” he said, squeezing her hand. “I mean, you are marrying me, after all.” Alex let out a watery laugh. “You good now, Lex?”

She nodded, rubbing a thumb over the hand that covered hers. “Yeah.”

“See you at the altar?”

“I’ll be the one in white.” Much though Alex loved Harry’s style and how he was unashamedly himself in his fashion, she had requested that he keep his suit to a traditional black for the ceremony. “For posterity’s sake,” she had added. It was four minutes until the wedding started, and Alex finally felt ready. Taking a quick glance behind the door to make sure Harry was well out of sight, she darted around the corner, making her way back to the bridal suite and back into the loving but slightly concerned arms of her bridesmaids. “Everything’s fine, I just needed a minute” was a phrase repeated several times.

A moment later, a knock on the door sounded, this one expected. Sam, the older or her two younger brothers, was waiting on the other wide of the doorway. “Are we ready?” He asked, glancing around the room. Seeing as how her dad obviously wasn’t there to walk her down the aisle, Sam was more than happy to step in. All three siblings were close, but Alex and Sam even more so. They always had each others backs, through the thick and the thin, and there was nobody she would rather have next to her.

She nodded, taking a shaky breath as if all of her hopes and dreams for this day could be sucked in as easy as breathing. “As I’ll ever be.” Gemma gently tugged her veil over her face, handed her the bouquet that had briefly been resting on a side table, and ushered her and the rest of the bridesmaids out of the room, down a side hallway, and to the foyer of the church. It was one minute until wedding started, and Alex couldn’t be more excited if she tried. She twisted her bouquet in her hand, took a few steadying breaths, and took Sam’s outstretched arm. The music started. Alex had been somewhat apprehensive about a piano version of “Perfect,” thinking it would sound too cheesy, but it was one of the most beautiful sounds she had ever heard. Her bridesmaids entered, each accompanied by one of Harry’s groomsmen. The doors opened, and she went.

Step. Alex flickered her eyes up to the altar, where Harry waited, hands clasped nervously and feet shuffling almost imperceptibly. Step. He looked up at her. Tears sparkled in Harry’s eyes, and he looked at Alex like she had hung the moon. To him, she had. Step. Diane sat in the front row next to her other brother Charlie, thrilled beyond belief at the scene in front of her. Her daughter couldn’t have chosen a better man to love. Step. The flower girl, Adam’s daughter, dropped a few petals haphazardly down the stone aisle. Step. Step. Step. Alex finally reached the altar, and Sam went to sit beside their mum. Harry gave a watery smile, reaching out gingerly to flip her veil as if it were made of glass.

“You look absolutely stunning, love,” he said, smiling so incredibly wide, it seemed as if his face would split in two.

“Not nearly as good as you.”

I press my lips up into your neck/I stay there, and I reconnect

They were so lost in each other that most of the minister’s words were lost on them, with Harry even stumbling over his vows once or twice. Haltingly, emotionally, Harry promised to love her forever, and “even a little bit after that.” To always be true, be her protector when she needed it and to trust her judgement if she didn’t. To always, always be honest. Even when things are hard. Especially when things are hard.

Alex promised to be his best friend, his biggest supporter, and the best wife she could possibly be. To be by his side no matter what, even if she couldn’t physically be there. To always lead first with love and grace instead of judgement. Everything was something of a blur until the reception, which was being held in a nearby garden. The courtyard was draped with fairy lights, their friends and loved ones seated around tables filled with flowers and tea lights. Alex and Harry had gone back and forth over what to have their first dance song be. It couldn’t be too common,  or too sappy, or too long, or too short. After many minutes spent scrolling through wedding blogs and checking Spotify, the couple settled on Can’t Help Falling in Love. Not as quirky a pick as Alex thought Harry would lobby for, but she soon fell in love with the timeless nature of the song, and the way Elvis captured the emotions so perfectly. Arms clasped behind Harry’s neck, she leaned in to his embrace, resting her head lightly on his shoulder.

“I didn’t ever think things would turn out this way,” she said softly.

Harry kissed the top of her head. “What do you mean?”

“We’re not the couple you’d think would make it. We’re an odd match. I mean sure, we grew up together, but that’s about it?” She said, almost like a question. “I went to uni while your career took off. I’m a graphic artist cracking about £60,000 a year, you’re a literal rock star making millions. Nothing about us seems like we ever should have been able to make a life together. But we did.”

“But we did.”

For the first time in a long time, Alex took a moment to rest. Rest after months of crazy, never-ending planning and stress and confusion and doubting. And as she leaned into him, she realized something. She didn’t need Harry, but he made her feel whole. He didn’t complete her, but something about him made her stop searching. She didn’t need to look anymore, because she had found everything. Her everything.

“When everything seems to be spinning so fast, you’re what keeps me grounded.” Harry murmured into her hair. “You don’t hold anything back, and that’s what I need.”

Over the next few hours, they danced, ate, and marveled in their surroundings. So many people who loved them and who they loved sat at the tables dotting the gardens. Their parents sat together, and if the past fifteen years were any indication, they were more than likely swapping embarrassing stories about their children. The CHASM family sat together, joined by Harry and Alex when they weren’t dutifully making their rounds and thanking guests for coming. Niall and Liam sat at a side table, sharing a few beers and even more laughter. Childhood friends and work contacts mingled together, and Alex silently thanked Harry for insisting on an open bar. The music had changed from Elvis to Ed Sheeran to Beyoncé, and they were loving every second of it. And Alex and Harry sat, surrounded by their friends. Her shoes were off, his tie was loosened, and parts of both of their fingers were smeared with the lemon curd of their cake. Which everyone had ended up loving. A few of her curls had fallen out of place, but she didn’t care. It may have looked imperfect, but what she was going to remember about that day, her wedding day, wasn’t a few stray hairs. It was the memories. The people who travelled hundreds, if not thousands, of miles to celebrate with them. Her friends, who she loved more than almost anything, giving her the biggest hugs she’d ever gotten. Her wonderful, attentive, caring bridesmaids, who dealt with her nerves and confusion in spectacular fashion. Their families, where no dry eye was to be found during the vows. And Harry. Her Harry. Her incredible, kind, intelligent, compassionate husband. Husband. She had promised in front of God and their families to love him until her last breaths, and there was no promise she took as seriously as that.

Scared of the hope in my head/It’s been making me sweat

“Does this ever all just seem like one huge dream to you?” Alex asked softly. “Like some day we’re just going to wake up and none of this is real?”

“Why d’you say that, love?” Harry said.

“It just seems too good to be true. You, this wedding, the future we’re able to have. And the fact that we get to do it together. It’s ridiculous. I love it, there’s nothing I’ve ever been this excited about, but it’s ridiculous.”

“The future, hm?”

Alex’s cheeks reddened slightly. “I mean, we’re halfway there. Bought the house, adopted the dog.” Their four-month-old Labrador mix, Clover, had been brought home from the shelter a month ago, and was settling into their Notting Hill home wonderfully. “Jus’ need a few paintings and a few kids.”

The world it turns/And we grow, we learn/How to be, to be incomplete

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