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garrothromeave · 3 years

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the hell is mystreet season 6??

(warning, long post ahead)

ok so before i start this

1) ive never posted shiiiit on tumblr before so watch me suffer, im just here to talk about stuff that my friends who dont know anything about aphmau have to listen to me rant about for hours on end

2) i havent seen mystreet in like years (except season 3, i watch that frequently since im laurance and shadow knight deprived) so please bear with me because i might be completely wrong on this lol. it’s just like, pointing out things i remember

3) im sure someones already talked about this but who cares

4) im gonna do this stupid thing where i just explain myself a bit at first, if you dont want to read that just skip to the part where you see “the actual thingy:” in bold and italics

5) mild disclaimer; i am completely aware that jessica is not a professional writer. i know that she did her best to appeal to her fans, and honestly, respect for that. while this post will come off as aggressive and probably look like hate, that’s not my intention in the slightest. it’s just... intense criticism. im sure y’all probably already know that, but yeah, just stating that anyways. i do believe that jess is doing her best, and in no way do i want to dismiss any hard work she’s done. that being said; prepare for a very strongly opinionated post.

haha watch there be 10000+ typos in this making me look like a complete dumbass

ok here we go

one of the main reasons i stopped watching aphmau back in 2017 was the mess that was season 4. like, in the first few episodes of the emerald secret, i thought “woah!! this is kinda cool, im a sucker for mystery!” because of course i was, it was something new and something exciting. the only problem i had with it at the time was kim, but that’s just because i always found her annoying and out of place. i just didn’t understand why garroth dragged her along and honestly i still don’t to this day BUT, moving on.

anyways, as the season progressed, 13 year old me was of course just “:0!!” the entire time--that is, up until the reveal of the main villain. i remember watching the episode, seeing the reveal of ein, and then stopping. like, just for a quick break, but i was still just overwhelmingly disappointed. like, and this was the time when pdh was airing and ein just got made alpha (i think?) and i had really really liked eins character in pdh. either way, that really sucked and actually opened my eyes to a lot of things.

one of the main things bein’ the fact that this was supposed to be a slice of life kinda series that decided to take a turn to a more edgy kinda approach. which, i guess i regularly wouldnt mind? but seeing as mcd was kinda bein neglected at the time it just didnt sit right with me. BUT WHATEVER, point is i stopped watching mystreet all together at the end of season 4.

like, a whole year later my brother tells me that shit’s getting intense in season 5 + 6 of mystreet, and my brilliant self decided to give it a shot--but i refused to watch all of season 5, so i only stepped in when ein made an appearance. so whenever that was, that’s where i picked up because i didnt care enough to see

and y’know--i honestly didn’t hate it at first. in fact, i found it oddly cool. it wasn’t enough to get me into aphmau again, but it was enough to where i was intrigued. i dont know why, but i never watched the finale, so i didnt see the ending until just a few weeks ago--but back then, i thought it was neat. looking back on it however... im just so confused.��

side note: only got back into aphmau this time around because of mcd. mainly because like, i adore the first season and the first half of the second season. and being nearly 18 now, im a lot more appreciative of plot and well-written characters n junk.

the actual thingy:

ok back on track. imma stop spilling out my story of how i got back into aphmau, and lets just skip to what rewatching mcd made me realize of season 6′s plot and shit:

-emmalyn. how the fuck does ghost even remotely exist? if she’s emmalyn as claimed, then why have we already seen emmalyn in the mystreet universe alive? look i get that creators can do whatever they want with their stories but at the same time please provide some sort of explanation good god. and maybe they did and i just havent seen it, so if there is one--let me know. but until that day imma just sit here confused as fuck

-ok so imma just be real, the whole ‘ultima’ thing is just... not great. in my opinion, anyways. like... i saw someone mention this in another post, but if this ultima stuff was like, a really big deal, why isnt it mentioned in mcd? though i suppose since its a curse of sorts, it could be later on past the time period in which mcd takes place--but even then, how did it manage to make its way into aaron’s family bloodline?

-WHY IS EVERYONE AT STARLIGHT ITS JUST SO CONVINIENT like what happened to this place being the most expensive shit on the planet or whatever, and how the gang happens to run into like, the werewolf trio and blaze and kai and guy and nate all of these people like god damn life doesnt WORK LIKE THAT

-im sorry but turning people into relics? thats... thats the best you could come up with? plus, like, how does that even work? in mcd it’s established that relics are separate entitles that choose their wielder, based on a ‘personal’ connection (being a descendent of a previous wielder) or if they’re a good match personality and (i think?) moral wise. so the whole turning-people-into-relics doesnt make much sense to be honest.

-irene really over here using her god powers to only keep her friends alive like god damn not a great god if you ask me

-can i talk about how incredibly predictable aphmaus death was? like i just kinda sat there waiting for it to happen and when it did i literally went “haha! wonder when she’ll be revived” because god forbid we actually kill off characters

-when aphmau + demon warlock fought in the irene dimension there was no passage of time whatsoever in the real world whiiiiiiiiich really bothers me because they fought in there for at least a few minutes

-speaking of aphmau and the demon warlocks fight does it bother anyone else that it had to be aaron who took over the fight?? like we get it hes the big protector blah blah blah but god damn it wouldve been cooler if aphmau had fought this battle as her. aaron fighting this battle was so underwhelming

-...love. like, thats the only thing thats needed to break out of a forever potion? love? LIKE YEAH, GOOD GUYS GOTTA WIN SOMEHOW, but its just so cliche and overdoneeee

-oh yeah and also when travis went bonkers and became the demon warlock or whatever, why’d he only take over katelyn and garroth?? like, zane had been influenced by the potions in the past as well? DONT GET ME WRONG--i do love some good brother edge, but uh, the demon warlock was just bein kinda a dumbass by not possessing zane too just sayin’

-can aaron please go to fucking jail for mass murder now like holy shit, he just got sent home on a fuckin boat. also why did blaze forgive him for killing him thats not even remotely realistic. then again, nothing in mystreet has ever been realistic when it comes to characters and motives and personalities, (cough katelyn being actually abusive and travis being an actual pervert) but yknow whatever

-katelyn and kawaii chan literally added nothing to the plot whatsoever. like lets be real, katelyn lost her personality the moment season 5 started and kawaii chan just kinda sits there :I

-ok im sorry this was bound to come up but cmon guys imagine laurances potential if he was in season 6 like god damn this is beyond maddening. AND YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY REALLY COOL PARRALLEL?? IF IT WAS LAURANCE WHO SNAPPED GARROTH OUT OF HIS MIND CONTROL THING, because it would mimic laurance’s speech to get garroth to snap out of his rage in season 1, episode 100 of minecraft diaries. like how fuckin rad would that have been? missed opportunity

-also?? why does kim/ghost know magicks?? like, if i remember correctly, emmalyn is a scholar--not someone who knew magicks. i mean, i guess research? study?? but its been established that knowing how magicks works =/= being able to use magicks. i dunno, just doesnt seem right i guess. maybe its explained, i wouldnt know (yes i know that makes me look like a dick leave me alone)

-melissa should have stayed dead. LIKE, NO, ITS NOT AS SIMPLE AS “haha it takes more than a few bullets to kill me”??? look ive got nothing wrong with melissa (cough lie cough) but yknow it would have just been cool a character... stay dead? for once? its just too fuckin cliche that shes alive god damn

-can i also just say the only good thing that came out of season 6 was travis’ dads sacrifice like damn that made me actually sad

-howww was lucinda turned into a relic. or yknow, anyone else? like im sure they explain it better in the actual show i just dont remember, but its just that easy? turning anyone into a relic? granted, a normal person wouldnt be able to produce a good relic, but idk man. IM JUST SAYING; that the only really powerful relics that aphmau should have been able to wield is the one that aaron + zane produced because shad relic and esmund relic moment. lucinda isnt even like, connected to a divine warrior. ALSO, another point, if its seriously that powerful of a relic getting one from just a magic user like lucinda, why go through the trouble? i mean i guess ofc youd want the “all powerful” one that the ultima produces but i mean damn whats the point

-ok this is just going to bother me but in one of the episodes (i think might have been in season 5 actually) where that like, guardian dude was chasing aphmau and zane and at one point they split up and the dude just chuckles at zane diverting paths and goes under his breath “youre not the important one here”, suggesting that aphmau somehow is? first of all, id argue that any ro’meave is significantly more important than aphmau was, especially not knowing much about her other than that shes with aaron. i might be missing some bits an pieces, but if i was that dude id forget about aphmau and go after zane

-killing off derek for shock factor sucked, and i know the moment was supposed to be really sad because like “oh :( aarons dad is sacrificing himself for his son” but lets be real dereks still was a shitty father and i dont think his reasons for doing what he did was very good at all

-less about plot or more like: why the absolute fuck did the gang bring kim along instead of, oh i dont know, a life-long friend? like, laurance or dante maybe?? im sure its explained, i never saw aphmaus year or most of season 5, but god DAMN id hate to be apart of this friend group AND GOD LIKE, imagine reconnecting with an old friend who ends up getting closer to your best friends and taking priority in their lives over you (cough laurance) like god damn lol

-im just going to preface this one with: i dont remember everything that’s happened, so if im wrong i apologize in advance--but (you actually can correct me if im wrong and please do) didnt like, irene reincarnate her friends in order to give them better lives? I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE, ITS JUST WHAT I REMEMBER--however, if im correct, then:

a. why the hell would she bring back someone like zane, or gene, or ivy, etc.

b. why the hell do they all have the same exact names? first and last? again, im aware that the whole mystreet+mcd tie wasn’t originally supposed to be there, but i dont think that means such a coincidence can be excused? its just a bit much if you ask me.

c. why the hell is the fact that (as much as i literally hate this) aaron is a decedent of shad being ignored? like, you’d think that something like this would be something thats actually important, or something the demon warlock couldve taken advantage of. or are we completely erasing every other connections to divine warriors besides aphmau + irene? because even if irene did reincarnate them or do whatever it is she did, does she even have the power to sever the connections between them and their ancestors? my guess is, no.

d. speaking of irene why on earth was aphmau able to talk to/see irene, they’re literally the same person are they not? did she like, fuckin reincarnate herself without actually doing it?? BUT--i will give it to them, the demon warlock did refer to aphmau as something along the lines of being “one of the 3 parts of her broken soul” or something like that. however, my point still remains. also what are the other two did i miss that or is it never explained

now; if irene in fact did not ‘reincarnate’ her friends then please ignore that little bit right there :)

but yes, those are a few of the problems i have with season 6 off the top of my head. i would go into like, season 4 and 5 more as well, but i honestly didnt feel like it. at some point i might go into other things, like how important laurance could have been to the plot of these later seasons, or HELL, even dante. i might also go into what could have made season 4, 5, and 6 actually good--maybe... a rewrite? perhaps? but im getting too far ahead of myself, so i just leave you with this for now.

and i know that as soon as i post this 15 more things are just going to pop into my head BUT im going to try and not edit this post because why stress myself with that even more

anyways thank you for coming to my tedtalk

#in conclusion i hate it here #lets go back to mystreet bein slice of life pls #anyways tune in next week for 'the hell is pdh??'#aphmau #mcd #mystreet #minecraft diaries #please ignore these next tags im just promoting relentlessly #garroth ro'meave #zane ro'meave #aaron lycan #kawaii chan #kim mystreet #laurance zvhal #pls i have no idea how to tag posts #rant

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allforthecourtt · 5 years

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rereading aftg with my dumbass opinions pt. 2 (tfc chapters 6-10)

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

look guys! its the highly unanticipated continuation of my reread of aftg!

chapter 6 (aka. meet this MESS of a team)

“My mother's family is French." It was a lie that probably had his British mother rolling over in her sandy grave.”

neil really never misses an opportunity to remind readers that he fucking buried his mom on the beach huh?

“A liar who practices occasional honesty. Clever. Keeps people guessing. Very effective. I would know. I do it myself, you see. Come on, then. After you.”

have i mentioned how entertaining high andrew is? because he’s funny as hell

also rereading these are fun because Nora is incredible at foreshadowing just sayin

“Neil automatically reached for his seatbelt, but one of the brothers was sitting on it.”

how neil would be in the back of the cousins’ car if they let him:

“You?" Neil said. "You can't." Andrew's smile curved wider. "Ohhh, that sounds like a challenge. Mother may I?" "Your mother's dead. I don't think she cares what you do.”

HO HO HOLY SHIT NEIL

“Starting a fight was too out of character for who he portrayed "Neil” to be, though.”

“Consider this your official invite, you suicidal wretch. I'm bringing you to Columbia with us this Friday.”

awe suicidal wretch... glad they’re starting those pet names early

“I don't drink or dance," Neil said.

andrew: i kno u can

“Kevin doesn't dance anymore”

anymore? ANYMORE??? release the cursed events that led to him not dancing anymore Nora im begging you

“Are you bleeding anywhere?" Matt asked. "Nowhere vital," Neil said.

gskjgnsak god i stan this little asshole so much

“She said it gently, with the hint of a smile on her face, but Neil still felt the rebuke. It was subtler but somehow deadlier”

have i mentioned how gay i am for renee? because im very gay for renee

“Allison looked ready for a photo shoot with perfect platinum curls, spiked heels, and a skintight dress.”

im also gay for allison ngl

“I can move if you want to sit here," Neil said. "No, this is fine." She smiled, but it had a smug edge to it, probably because Seth was glaring at them like he could kill them with willpower alone. ”

lol remember how neil doesn’t think he’s attractive and yet in 0.1 seconds after meeting him allison is like “yes this idiot is hot enough to piss off the other idiot im dating”

“Personal favorite was when someone told the police we were running a meth lab out of the dorm," Dan said sourly. "Police raids are awesome.”

no offence dan but that’s fucking hilarious omg

that’s kind of like the time my residence floor had to get evacuated bc some kids hotboxed their dorm room

god i love uni

“The death threats were creative, though," Nicky said. "Maybe this time they'll follow through and actually kill one of us. Let's vote. I nominate Seth.”

pfffffttttt i love Nicky omg

also hahahahahah foreshadowing!

“It'll be fine," Andrew said. "I promised, didn't I? Don't you believe me?" It took a while, but at last Kevin visibly relaxed. ”

again this is why i thought they were fucking for like the better part of the first two books

“The dead look Kevin turned on Andrew today was the same look Neil saw in his reflection. When Neil stopped acting, when he stopped worrying about who was watching, when he let go of the lies that kept him alive, that was the only expression he could make.”

it’s fine i didnt need a heart anyways

this kid is 18 hes A BABY

the first time i read this i was 18 too and like jfc i was a BABY at 18 and so i neil

“One of us has to make it, Mom." It wasn't going to be Neil. It was obvious he was too stupid to survive without his mother if he let himself get into messes like this. But maybe Kevin could do it.”

sorry let me just wipe my TEARS off my fucking laptop neil honey what the fuck

“He felt distant as he watched them walk in. Maybe he was already dying, his stupid soul fading from his short body in preparation for a brutal end.”

neil we get it you have depression (me too bitch u aint special)

“Fuck running," Seth said.

now that’s a whole ass mood

“he didn't know how Renee could smile so warmly when she was speaking to Andrew.”

haha bitch just wait

“when he slept, he dreamed of his father waiting for him on the Foxhole Court.”

remember how at the end of the series his father is waiting on the court but neil wins??? god we love good storytelling

this is such a fucking wild chapter

could you imagine? coming back from the summer and your first introduction to this amateur from arizona is this neil josten level of sass? because i’d probably kill him

first years are bad enough but first years who dont care about other people’s opinions? the fucking worst

chapter 7 (aka. neil does NOT have a fun night out)

“It seemed Allison and Seth didn't believe in middle ground: either they were slinging vile insults at each other or they were making out in the locker room regardless of whoever might be around.”

that’s just how the straights are

“It reminded Neil a little of Allison and Seth, except without the desperate sexual undertones.”

i’ll just leave this gem of a line here

“His teammates held so little regard for him he didn't even have the dubious honor of being dead last.”

neil shading himself is actually hilarious how relatable

“Neil watched him do it, trying to remember the last time someone gave him a gift and coming up blank. That his first one should be from Andrew was unsettling.”

i actually love the fact that andrew bought him clothes so early on like andrew your gay is showing

“Neil debated how much damage the thick heels of his new boots would do against Andrew's face and liked what his mind came up with.”

i thank god everyday that these books are neil’s pov

“Andrew gave Neil another slow once-over and let go. "We're going.”

^andrew seeing neil w/o contacts (aka. the ‘i can’t think straight’ vine)

“Most of the men wore leather, half the women had corsets, and a good number of both genders were covered in buckles and chains.”

this... is a... gay bar

“Andrew saluted the bouncers on his way by and led the way into the club, bypassing the line entirely.”

i always forget the drinking age in the us is 21 but like this bar really dont care about their liquor license AT ALL lmao

“You think Kevin would risk his future over a night out at the club?" "What future?" Neil asked.”

WOW NEIL WAY TO BE A BITCH

“Neil hadn't seen Aaron get up, but he was waiting behind Neil when Andrew let go. Neil reached for Andrew with lethal intent, but Aaron grabbed the back of his chair and pulled hard enough to topple it over.”

why are the twins literally this gif:

real talk nicky kissing neil like that is horrible and really reflects poorly on nicky as a character

andrew for this entire chapter:

chapter 8 (aka. a hitchhiker’s guide to lying about your identity)

“I don't know how your conversation with Andrew went, but it didn't end well. Rumor has it you paid a busboy a hundred bucks to knock you out. Way to cut our night short.”

this is probably my favourite thing neil does in the entire series ngl

“Wymack grabbed his elbow and hauled him inside. He slowed just long enough to slam the door behind Neil. "Are you stupid or just crazy? Do you have any idea what could have happened to you between here and there? What were you thinking?”

Why does Wymack literally sound like my father?

foxes: daddy?

wymack: DO I LOOK LIKE

follow up:

kevin: daddy?

wymack: uh yeah

“I don't know what the beef is between you two, but it ends here and now.”

Wymack @ neil: tell your boyfriend, if he says he’s got beef that your a vegetarian and your not fucking scared of him

“Then correct me." "Give me a reason." "Besides the obvious?" Andrew said. "If I can't get an answer from you, I'll get it wherever I can.”

andrew:

“I'm—" Neil didn't want to say it, but the word was already there, broken and pathetic between them, "—nothing. I'll always have and be nothing.”

“He wondered for a moment if Andrew could handle the entire truth so calmly, but that was too dangerous and stupid to consider.”

“Hope was a dangerous, disquieting thing, but he thought perhaps he liked it.”

this is such a good fucking line like i am shooketh

chapter 9 (aka. neil is, like, really horny for exy)

“Are you stupid?" Seth asked. "Yeah," Neil said.”

what a fuckin MOOD

“Neil had almost forgotten why he liked Exy so much. He did his best at practices but these days he worked mostly to keep his teammates off his back. As Neil surveyed Kevin's damage, he finally felt inspired again. On its heels was a hungry, desperate rush.”

“Seth made as if to throw his beer at Neil. "His life is not more important than mine just because he's more talented.”

sometimes i really wish seth was actually given a chance to have some character development

“ "Maybe you're not as stupid as I thought." "Maybe I am," Neil said”

another big fucking MOOD

chapter 10 (aka. shocking: university is hard :/ )

“It's fun telling Kevin no," Andrew said with a wicked grin.”

why is andrew like this omg

betsy probably was like just looking for a chill job and was like “oh cool uni students? ill have to deal with like a lot of anxiety, sexual tension, depression and like confusion about the future, not to bad” but NOPE welcome to the fucking MAFIA WARS

“That wasn't so bad, was it? Andrew was convinced it would be a disaster. He put money on you hating Betsy." "Did you bet against him?" "Yes," Renee said. "It was a private bet between the two of us.”

“I hope you didn't lose much," Neil said.”

god why is he such an asshole at every opportunity i love him

“I can take care of myself," Neil said. "Watch me beam with pride.”

wymack is the best father in the world and you cant convince me otherwise

“There was one for every fall team with schedules printed on each. Neil kept the Exy one, tossed the rest into the trash, and buried his magnet deep in his pocket where he didn't have to look at the dates.”

neil “i only care about exy” josten strikes again with his great school spirit

“Palmetto State was facing Edgar Allan on Friday, October 13th”

that’s such a cliche and i love it

“He detoured around students toward one of Palmetto State's three dining halls. Two were for the general student body. The third was for athletes only”

lmao my school literally has one dining hall and it couldnt give less of a fuck what type of student they’re selling food too as long as they’ll pay $15 for chicken fingers

what kind of money does palmetto state fuckin have

like i get us tuition is a lot but jesus so’s mine and my school couldn’t be less fucked

“It was only the first day of school and he already had three assignments: a short paper, a fifty-page chapter to read, and a page of questions about said chapter. Neil debated for a minute as to which one sounded least painful. Five minutes later he was still uninspired, so he put his head down on his desk.”

1. MOOD

2. first years are so cute thinking that’s a lot of assignments i remember in first year being like “i have to read 40 pages thats so unfair :(” and now i’m like “ah sick only 200 pgs of readings this week? im gonna have so much free time!”

upper year history sucks ngl

“I'm fine," Neil said.”

neil knows exactly two (2) words and those are it

“You say that an awful lot," Matt said. "I'm starting to think you don't know what it means.”

overall thoughts:

the plot is pickinnnng upppp

i kind of forget how much world building happens in the first book but like its good

also i love neil literally hating everyone its so funny bc like bby these going to be your best friends just wait

anyways that’s all for now

part 3 will be the rest of tfc and then we’ll move onto trk if you guys still want more of this? let me know

love u all bye

#rereading aftg

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not-close-to-straight · 6 years

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Pirates Heart (Chap 23)

And here we come upon The Great Angst.

PIRATES MASTERLIST HERE

****************************************

Silence.

Heavy.

Oppressive.

Stole the air from the room and folded the walls in and lowered the ceiling until they all felt trapped.

Suffocating.

“Tony.” Steve stood to his feet, hand held out cautiously. “Honey, I don’t know what you heard but--”

“Tell me about your lie.” Tony repeated and Steve physically flinched away from the word, Bucky staring down at the floor so he wouldn't have to see the pain in Tony's gaze.

“I don't even know how to start this.” Steve groaned and rubbed his hands down his thighs. “Alright. Um, Tony, look it’s like this. Bucky and I decided--well I decided, really, we had this idea to--”

“Why were you at my Uncles house that day?” Tony's voice never even wavered as he asked the question, interrupting Steve’s halting attempt at a beginning. “When you saw me in the garden? Why were you there?”

“Alright.” Steve nodded. “Alright we can start there. Tony, your Uncle put out an ad for a new Captain for his fleet. He wanted someone with war experience, someone who had seen a lot of action, because he had lost several ships to pirates--” Tony snorted and Steve nodded in acknowledgement of the irony. “--and I decided to answer the ad. I hoped that by gaining employ in the company, I would get easier access to his shipping routes and schedules.”

“Natasha usually helps us with that sort of thing.” Bucky explained. “But she can only get us information on two or three ships at a time, and if Stevie got hired on, then we would know about more ships faster.”

“And then we thought--” Steve flicked a glance at Bucky. “-- that even if I didn't take the job, or if Stane decided I wasn’t a good candidate since I had left the Navy so many years before, that at the very least, an interview would give me the opportunity to meet...to meet you.”

“Why?” Tony’s eyes sparked in anger for just a split second before he managed to bury it, and ask again, calmer-- “Why did you want to meet me?”

“We thought you would know all the information about the ships and the cargo.” Bucky clasped his hands between his knees. “Figured it might be easier to jus’... meet ya and see where things went, ya know? And since Stevie can act all posh and proper, we figured you would like him better.”

“And as a Captain with an exemplary war record, I knew you would be more receptive to talking to me.” Steve chewed at his lip anxiously. “We tried finding you at parties and things like that, tried to arrange a social meeting, but everyone we asked only said that you didn't frequent the balls or the concerts, and I didn't know how else to meet you besides showing up at your door. I um, I didn't realize you were engaged though. That was a surprise.”

“Alright.” Tony motioned for them to continue, even though he reached for a chair and sat down when his knees started feeling weak.

“So, I wanted to meet the Viscount, wanted to know who the man was that was working with Obadiah and while I was waiting for him to arrive I--” Steve hesitated. “I knew I'd find you in the garden, Tony. I knew you’d be out there reading. That’s the entire reason I went for a walk.”

“So you--” Tony's breath hitched and he cleared his throat before trying again. “You knew I'd be out there. You knew I was engaged. But you thought you would still try to get close to me? To see if I knew anything about the company? You were willing to risk my feelings and my engagement just to learn about my company? What could you possibly want to know? Why do you have this… this vendetta against us?”

Silence again, and then Bucky whispered-- “Tony, sugar, the brand on my arm belongs to Obadiah Stane. When I was sold-- it was someone working for him that bought me. I was kept on a ship owned by him, and the moved to a--to a cell in a warehouse with his name on the deed.”

“I don't believe you.” Tony said instantly and Steve breathed a laugh that was almost a sob.

“Tony. We checked. It's a three quarter circle with an O and an S wrapped through it. Its Obadiah’s brand, and its on Bucky’s arm.”

“That's not Uncle’s brand.” Tony denied. “He uses the Stark Shipping crest. He has never had a separate brand or anything like that.”

“For his more legal activities? I'm sure he uses the Stark crest, but not for this.” Steve tried to keep his voice soft despite the swell of hurt in his chest over Tony not believing what Bucky had said. “And we traced it back, honey. It took ages, and there’s a few companies that everything is routed through in between here and there, but the crest belongs to your Uncle. We know it does.”

“My family is completely against slave trading. We always have been.” Tony insisted. “There’s no way Obie is involved.”

“We traced it back.” Bucky said again. “The place I was held, the ship in the harbor, the brand-- it's all-- it's all Obadiah.”

“And I wanted revenge.” Steve took over the story again. “I wanted revenge against the asshole that had hurt Bucky so badly, but as we searched we realized that Stane isn't just a man, or even the head of a company that we could just take down. Stark Shipping is the biggest company in the colonies, and Obadiah runs it. He is virtually untouchable.”

“So we thought if we could start taking out his ships, then we could bring the company to the ground, and then we could--” a pause. “--then we could take Stane out as well.”

“But it wasn't that easy.” Bucky straightened on the bed, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “Because most of the ships we stopped were just bringing cargo over from England and France. We didnt mind stealin’ from them, we’re pirates and all, but it wasn’t our goal. And we knew there were slaves out there somewhere, but didn't know how to find them.”

“And then Natasha started finding out things in the...in the way she does.” Steve said vaguely. “And suddenly we were getting enough solid information to track down a few ships each year before winter hit and the ships stopped crossing the Atlantic.”

“But it wasn’t fast enough. So we thought if we could get an in into the company, whether through employment or by getting closer to you, then we could make it happen faster, maybe take out a dozen ships or more all within a season, you know?” Bucky sighed miserably. “We just wanted to finish this and move on with our lives. We just wanted to be done with all of it and be able to forget about it.”

“But when I met you--” Steve tilted his head to try and catch Tony's eyes. “Honey, when I met you the entire plan just sort of...it just stopped being important. I didn’t care about it anymore. Or at least I didn’t for a few minutes. I forgot why I had sought you out and why I---”

“Stop.” Tony held his hand up and Steve shut his mouth, sending a worried look towards Bucky.

“Let me be entirely sure I understand what is happening.” Tony took a deep breath. “You both think my Uncle is responsible for over a decade of slave trading, beginning sometime before Bucky was captured, and continuing on through today. You decided to get revenge by destroying the Stark Company ships, but that was moving too slowly, so you thought to either start working for the company to destroy it from the inside, or to seduce me and learn everything I know about the company so you could then destroy it, and sail off with your revenge satisfied?”

“...I...yes. Yes that's right.” Steve admitted. “It's not-- I hate that it sounds like that, but yes, Tony, that was the plan.”

“You were perfectly willing to cheat on Bucky--” Tony glanced at the first mate. “--and quite possibly gain my affection, which would ruin my engagement by the way, all so you could gain access to our shipping routes?”

“I wasn’t planning on letting it go far enough to be-- to be unfaithful to Bucky.” Steve whispered. “I was hoping that since everyone said you avoided the usual-- entertainments-- that I could get close to you and woo you without having it go that far.”

“You mean since I was a virgin.” Tony said bluntly. “You thought to woo me with a few kisses and touches, and gain my trust and loyalty without compromising your relationship with Bucky.”

“...yes.”

“And when Uncle found us in the garden and forced the marriage?” Tony pressed. “Why did you push for a faster ceremony? Why didn’t you just leave?”

“I told him not to run.” Bucky spoke up then. “I told him that if he just married you, then we could leave without the law on our heels. But if he bolted without marryin’ ya, then we would be hunted down and dragged back and it would jeopardize everything.”

“So you planned to marry me and then just run away with Bucky?” The words came out just a tad shaky. “The entire time? You destroyed my previous engagement and forced me through that ceremony and you planned to leave the entire time?”

“...yes.”

“But sugar, everything about our plan changed when we saw you.” Bucky met his eyes pleadingly. “Everything. Stevie couldn’t stop talkin’ bout ya, sayin’ he hated what we were gonna do. And when I saw ya--” he smiled, a shadow of his usual charming grin, “-- I told Stevie it wasn’t fair you were so beautiful. We hated the plan once we met ya.”

“But it didn’t stop you from leaving, did it? And if I wouldn’t have followed you out of the inn, you would have sailed away and went on doing what you do, regardless of how beautiful--” Tony nearly spat the word. “--you thought I was, right?”

Neither Bucky nor Steve knew what to say to that.

“That’s what I thought.” Tony dug his fingers into his thighs. “So. All this to say, you’ve been at this for years, on this vendetta for years. And when your revenge wasn't coming along quickly enough, you changed your tactic to try and get better results.”

“You--” he met Steve’s eyes. “Planned to seduce me, learn everything you could, and then leave me while you ran off to destroy my fathers business, my family and my life. And then when you ended up married to me, you tried to run away, and when that didn't work, you all but forced me to stay on your ship instead of just dropping me back in New York. I had to give up my entire life because of this plan of yours.”

“Honey--” Steve put a hand to his chest. “Tony, baby, things got carried away so quickly. I didn't mean to--”

“And you--” Tony looked over at Bucky. “You had no issue with any of it because you knew at the end of the day, your captain loved you so much that not even a marriage could come between you. I and the marriage and the inconvenience of having me on board was only a bump in the road on the way to you two getting your revenge and sailing off into the horizon into your happily ever after.”

“No, sweet thing.” Bucky shook his head. “No, that's not how we meant for it to happen.”

“No?” Tony laughed, and it was the worst sound they had ever heard, filling the room and shattering in the air like broken glass. “That’s not how you meant for it to happen? You mean you didn’t plan to keep me on board and end up sharing me in your bed?”

“We-- we didn’t plan for this originally, no.” Steve said quietly. “But when you ended up here on the ship, Bucky and I-- we decided that both of us had to want you or neither of us could have you and--”

“Oh!” Tony raised his eyebrows. “Well, at least the two of you agreed to have me together. I would have felt terrible if only my husband got to have me while my husbands lover was left in the cold.”

“Damn it, sugar.” Bucky jerked his head away from the poison in Tony’s words. “It wasn’t like that. We were both smitten with ya, but Stevie knew it wouldn’t ever work if you only warmed up to him and not me so we both tried to--to be with ya. I--I was scared of losin’ Stevie to you cause of the way he looked at ya, alright? An’ he was scared of hurtin’ us cause he liked ya. So we decided that we all three hadta work, or that we would... we would take ya back home or som’thin.”

“So if I wouldn’t have taken your hand that night?” Tony’s eyes flew to Steve. “After the French battle? If I would have said no, you would have sent me home and you two would have just... continued on together? As if I had never happened.”

“We thought we were doing the right thing, making the right decision for everyone.” Steve tried to explain, but he knew his reasoning fell flat. “I thought it was early enough in the entire...ordeal... that no one would be any worse for---”

“Do you know how many times I've heard the two of you say I love you?” Tony interrupted. “Even after the three of us have been-- the three of us have been together, you think I'm asleep and you’ll kiss and tell each other how much you love each other. Or that it will always be you two together, that you will always be each others. I assumed one day you’d tell me something like that too but hey--” he spread his hands. “At least now I know why you never have. Because there was always a contingency plan, always a way for the two of you to escape together. Bravo.”

“You think we don't care about you?” Bucky blurted. “Tony! How can you think that? All the time we’ve spent together and--and the way we-- I know Stevie and I aren't the best with words, but we’ve been trying to show you--”

“Trying to show me? When? With the--the--” Tony’s cheeks flushed lightly. “--the sex? That doesn't tell me anything at all except--” a bitter smile then and Tony stared at Steve for a long minute.

“What is it you said, Steve? Men like to kiss pretty things? That’s probably one thing you weren't lying about, hm? Maybe the only thing? All the sex ever told me was that I was pretty.

“Oh Tony.” Steve’s voice broke over the words, miming the way his heart was splitting in his chest. “Sweetheart, I never meant to hurt you like this.”

“No?” Tony folded his arms. “Because it seems that the only reason I'm even learning about this is because your original plan to leave me in New York didn't work out. You sure as hell meant to hurt me then, didn’t you? Would have sailed away with Bucky to your happily ever after and never thought twice about me again.”

A wounded noise from Bucky then, and he dug the heel of his palms into his eyes. “Tony. We didn't do the right thing, we know that, but please-- please understand why we thought we had to go about it this way. Things got outta control quick, but our original idea-- our intentions were good.”

“Right. Your original idea to destroy the company you think is responsible, by seducing and using and leaving the heir to that company. You did have good intentions. You and your band of---” Tony sagged a little in the chair, as if something terrible had just occurred to him.

“They all know?” he whispered, and motioned up to the deck. “Hawk, Sam, Happy? Owen and Billie? They all know what you did? They know who I am and why I’m here?”

“Um--” Steve hesitated and Tony dropped his head. “The crew doesn’t...really. They don’t know who you are in relation to Obadiah and our mission.”

“But Hawk and Sam--” Bucky nodded. “Its why we have them look after you. Happy too. They know the whole situation and would be able to--to answer or deflect any questions you had. So we trusted them with you.”

“I consider them friends.” Tony muttered. “Just to find out that they--”

“They are your friends!” Steve argued. “Baby, this doesn’t change how those men feel about you, or how we feel about you or--”

“How you feel about me?” Tony whispered, staring at Steve. “I fell in love with you the minute the kissed me. First time I'd ever been kissed in my life and you looked at me like I was the most perfect thing you had ever seen. And then everything fell to shit and you looked me in the eye and told me that your heart belonged to another.”

“And I--” he laughed again, that awful, crushed sound. “And I have read so many books, I know so many things, but I never knew that I could fall in love and have my heart broken so spectacularly all within the same afternoon.”

“And here on the Nomad? God, I had to talk myself out of falling for the both of you every day. Every damn day. And at night I had to remind myself that I was here for the adventure and not for the way you made me feel. But you always touched me like I was--like I was perfect. And you look at me like you don’t ever want me to go.”

“Bucky.” Tears then, spilling down Tony's face. “Every time I tried to be shy you told me that I didn't have to be shy, because there isn't anymore secrets between us. If only I'd known that you meant that I couldn't have any secrets. Apparently you and Steve are free to have all the secrets you want, aren't you?”

“The worst part is, I don't know anything about the company.” Tony stood and pushed the chair back to the desk. “I don't know anything about what my Uncle does. After my parents were murdered, I had anxiety so badly that I couldn't even leave our property, and I ordered my fathers office boarded up because I couldn't even bring myself to walk past it, much less work there.”

“So all of this--” he waved between them. “A waste of everyone’s time. This lie, this scheme, this plan you had to ruin my life. A waste of time. I don't believe that Obie is behind all this, I think somewhere you got crossed answers and now you are trying to destroy our company because at some point or another his name came up. It could be anything, a rogue captain transporting slaves by himself, a brand that happens to have an O S on it? The four or five years after my parents died, the company was very poorly run until Obie stepped up and took it over for me. Anything could have happened during that time.”

“You have this vendetta against my Uncle and I think you have it all wrong.” He shook his head adamantly. “And unless you can give me proof-- the papers of the ships transporting slaves, or employment records of the captains or something, I can't believe that the man who stepped in and saved me and my company from ruin would be behind all of this.”

“Honey.” Steve whispered. “We aren't lying about this. I don't have the proof here, but I know--”

“How do I know if you’re telling the truth?” Tony retorted. “I don't know. I can't tell. You’ve been lying to me this entire time! Everything between us—“ his eyes squeezed shut against more tears. “Is a lie and that means I can't believe you about anything.”

“What we have isn't a lie, sweet thing.” Bucky pleaded. “Things didn’t start so well, but now we got somethin’ good, don’t we? Please tell me you know we ain’t lyin’ about what we feel.”

“Yeah, but you’ve never told me how you feel, have you? Not really, anyway.” Tony wiped his eyes, his nose as he moved to the door. “I heard you earlier, you know? And I suppose it’s sweet that you’re so worried about me being in love with you and being hurt over it. But don’t worry. I'm not in love with you. I'm...I'm not. Not in love with either of you. So you don't have to feel guilty about that anymore.”

“C’mon baby doll.” Bucky clenched his fists tight enough to leave marks in his palms. “Please don’t do that. Don’t do that. You know that we--”

“You don't love me, and I don't love you.” Tony opened the cabin door, halfway out it before he turned back. “So I suppose this little farce didn't end up hurting anyone at all did it?”

“Tony.” Steve crumpled to his knees. “Honey, please--”

Tony shut the door behind him as he left.

*************************

A bell at the side door to her personal apartments had Natasha grumbling and throwing on her robe at some time past midnight, ripping the door open and ready to verbally destroy whoever have woken her up at this ungodly hour.

“Oh.” Natasha blinked out into the rain curiously. “I certainly didn't expect to find you here. Where are your pirates, darling? Shouldn't you be in bed with them doing all sorts of sordid things that good girls like me only dream about?”

She grinned at her own words, but Tony only looked at her forlornly, holding his bag of belongings tight in his arms, curls plastered to his forehead and clothing soaked.

“Oh. Oh, I see.” Natasha murmured, her brow furrowing in understanding. “Come on then. Come inside and get dry. No reason to stand out here in the cold.”

Tony nodded and stepped inside, shedding his soaked clothing and accepting the blanket Natasha handed him with a grateful half smile, pulling it tight around his shoulders in an effort to alleviate his shivering.

“I don't see any bruises.” She stated more than asked, and Tony shook his head that no, he wasn't physically hurt.

“It's the ones I don't see that hurt the most, don't they, kotyenok?” She whispered. “The ones that settle on our hearts and seep into our soul?”

Tony's whiskey eyes were dull, his voice hoarse when he muttered, “I suppose you’re right about that.”

“I’m sorry, Anthony.” Natasha murmured.

Tony didn’t answer.

He only sank down onto a couch, and stared at the floor, wishing his heart was as numb as his fingers.

******************************

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#ncts fics #stuckony #pirates au #angst #get some tissues #sorry in advance

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desiror · 7 years

Text

My Letter To You

From day one you caught my eye You made me crazy but i never tried Cuz my homie was talkin shit constantly So i rejected you unconsciously And kept my feelings to myself Till i find the strength to tell you how i felt By the end of sec 5 Ive dated a couple girls, and you a couple guys But none of them are even comparable To these feelings that are unbearable Fuck it, im gonna tell you i got too Im about to, till my bestfriend calls dibs on you... First semester and were closer than ever Were both dating others, but were always together You're in love with this guy, guess i gotta stay as a friend I put my emotions aside, till your relationship ends That was the plan, till you say you had feelings for me before What the fuck man, now i just love you even more... Im still with her, and you're still with him I have no other choice but to keep my emotions hidden It was all workin till one day Your boyfriend moved far away I figured i couldnt miss another opportunity To make this finally just you n me For the first time, we chilled outside of college At this point, my feelings for her have abolished It all happened when we went clubbing Holding your hand, our bodies touching Sparked the feeling ive always been searching for The one that confirmed my heart is yours One day we got high, and you came over You were having a bad vibe, so i gave you my shoulder Suddenly my heart start ed to beat Faster than when you pop ecstacy We started gettin touchy, then things got out of hands No time to think, our hands are down eachothers pants Felt so overjoyed when i woke up I felt happier then when i smoke up Cant stop smiling, im so in love It felt like a dream, for sure it was You even said that you love me, it cant get better We talked about us in the future, being together No regrets, but it does feel wrong Ive been waiting for this so long Now theres no way i can stay with her I put it to an end, didnt expect it to feel so bitter I feel heart broken, this is so hard But the thought of our future, fixes my heart No interest in other girls, im just waitin You're my first priority, i aint playin Imma help you through it, no problem You asked about my feelings for her, how i stopped em I didnt say, but girl you're the answer I thought of how happy ill be with you after I know we said we'd both take our time But baby you're always on my mind Whats also on my mind is the fact That you're the one fighting for his stupid ass Yet you keep telling me how much you hate him Then why dont you drop him? Stop debatin Damn, it felt like years but its finally ova You gonna be so much happier baby imma show ya The only thing right now in my head Is to make you the happiest girl, till the day im dead But theres only one thing that i ask Please baby, dont go back to your past.. i held you tight in my arms and felt you cry I said to you alright just forget this guy You answered no, i cry because im scared to lose you Im so lost tho, howd this even come up to you? You just broke up and thats what you have to say I cant let you use me to get over him this way Exams are keeping me busy, i cant be there all the time You're going through a lot you gotta keep yourself occupied But the way you resorted to is worse Partying and doing drugs till you're out of this universe But as long as i know you're gonna be there for me When summer comes, "this"ll all just be in your memory We havent spoken to eachother in a long time Just sittin here, waiting for you to become mine I hear about you through a friend of ours So what you do now is tinder and get nailed for hours?! I been shaking all day but thats not even why I feel like everything you ever said to me was just a big lie I thought i was addicted to smoking cigs Until i realized what a real addiction is Just the thought of you gives me the worst shakes Quitting got me trembling, but you give me earthquakes The smoke stops the flow of my blood when i grow old But you just froze my blood and made it go cold Right now i cant feel nothing else but hatred I thought we had something but i guess you faked it You were scared to lose me as a friend But in the end you lost all of me cuz now im dead i cant belive you went back to the person you were I knew it was gonna happen, i shouldve backed out sooner You lied to me, and fucked me over bad But for real, thats not what got me this mad Im angry at the fact you didnt say nothing I guess while i was waiting you thought i was gone or something Cuz you didnt even say we werent gonna happen You left me to wait, while you were with other guys laughin I havent yet told you whats on my mind We havent been alone in a long ass time You act like nothing ever happened and it kills me So much hatred inside, seeing you just fills me But i cant stop myself from seeing you Losing you would be worse than us being through Alright so were gonna act like nothing happened But dont expect me to be often laughin And dont you fuckin dare say that it meant nothing "Not like i had feelings for him we were just fucking" Bitch ill fuckin kill you why you doin this shit Stop lying, everything that comes out of you is fiction I expected you to fall before we be together But then i thought youd rise and be with me forever But thats where i fucked up thinking this through Cuz instead of only "this" in your memory, you put me too I dont want to believe that im just some other guy But i am, once again i fell for another lie Were going out for a birthday, i got a lot of shit to say I havent seen you in days, but i wont say it today Cuz i need to speak to you once were alone So lets just enjoy this night like we did a long time ago Im looking for other girls but you're the only one i see While you're with other guys, grinding behind me Grinding was fine but now you're hookin up I keep drinking but i dont think i took enough All i see is you constantly kissing him I just wish it was me i guess im missing it And to worsen it you bring him with us all night Being all cligny next to me, how can you think this is alright? Every once in a while i get a message from you "I miss you homie", but you never come through If i say it back ill be the only one to mean it And that i know for a fact so i wont repeat it Im trying to scar but you keep coming back to press On this wound that you inflicted as you left For some reason i was still hopin youd become mine But now you have a boyfriend im fully done tryin You said you didnt wanna start over with a new guy "I want someone im close to" bitch you lied Dating a dude you just met i dont understand Am i not exactly what you want according to wut ur sayin Its like you enjoy putting yourself in misery Ill never understand i guess itll stay a mystery You left me once again for a random dude Im done thinking of this im changing my attitude Im done suffering bitch finally this pain's over Im done waiting bitch now its game over -Anonymous

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