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#and the thought hadnt even occurred to me LOL
dr-gaytorius · 11 months
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I have a particular friend of mine who like, I AM aware that I adore them very completely but I'm like always having to stop myself from doing the most for them like.... In ways that are sacrificial my to own resources, and I'm slowly beginning to realize Something Might Probably Be Happening Here (in my brain) like I got them a little knitted possum for their rear view mirror because it's exactly the kind of thing theyd love (and they did!!! Tho idk if they actually realize I gave it to them bc I just put it on their rv mirror like teehee) I helped them move (no one else did) ((into... The house I live in... Lol)) I sold them my old bed frame and am helping them dis-and-reassembke it which are probably not that insane of things but. I don't do this stuff for anyone else lmfaoooo 💀💀💀 AND I'm about to buy them a little gluten free carrot cake (they're gluten intolerant and it's their fav) with CHANGE because it's their birthday and I've had -$17 for like two months. And had a dream their partner dealt me a devastating guy punch of a pick up line me that gave me PSYCHIC damage for 24 hours. Like girl.... Get a grip....
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freebooter4ever · 9 months
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how's the job hunt going? would you ever relocate for a job love?
Oh wow what a question lol! Honestly i dont expect to be able to find anything new till this strike is over, the competition is insane right now. In the meantime my plan is to teach myself faster hard surface sculpting in z*brush using hockey gear \o/ mostly because i dont want to pay the $150 a month for maya, that shits insane. Like a fucking health insurance payment.
For the second question - i dont think i've ever experienced love like that. I think it would take a lot of devotion and sacrifice to give up your dreams for someone else. Admirable, for sure. And also a sacrifice that historically women are the ones expected to make. Every time. :( For a job? Lol, i would move in a heartbeat. I stayed in pittsburgh 6 years after college for my dream job - i only left when i lost it. Knew the next dream job wasnt going to be there, so made my way to LA. And now im having to come to terms with the idea that the dream job doesnt exist as i imagined it - or only exists for a very VERY select few.
And actually, thats not totally true about me and love. I think if i thought for one second that nick could love me back like i diid him, id already be in new england. When i applied to this one job, that sounded like a dream come true it listed the salary, and brian and i just read it and gaped. We looked at each other and i was like i dont even know what the fuck i would DO with all that. And of course the first thing that popped into my mind was i could buy that sailboat nick always talked about. When i was writing my programming textbook a decade ago, and really going through it, and nick and i were up until 3 or 4am every night painting theater sets, he'd talk about his sailing adventures, teach me rope knots, that sort of thing, basically a mental escape. And so last week i texted him like 'hey no promises but what if im suddenly actually making good money. Do you still want that boat?' Because, nick's worked so long and so hard and all he's gotten to is the point of still working on boats other people own, and its just not fair how devalued physical labor is, you know? And his immediate reaction was to launch into our very old daydream - the whole 'yes and you're coming with me, sail off into the sunset' stuff. And that hadnt occured to me - my idea was just- id give him the boat, and he'd fix it up, and id maybe demand photos or a visit or two every so often. Because i think finally -finally- im at a point in my life where being in love isnt enough - i want the other person to love me back. And lol definitely not someone who declares love one minute and then stops talking to me for weeks or months, and the cycle repeats over and over. I think its possible to love someone enough that you recognize you arent the one for them, but still want them to be happy? Happier than you could make them.
So long answer is yes, i would relocate for love, but i have learned the hard way to know when i shouldn't.
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pubewig · 1 year
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The guy I went out with last night tested positive for covid
He said this weekend his sister was positive at thanksgiving, and I said take a test before our date Tuesday I guess. Well he took a test MONDAY BUT NOT TUESDAY
And he was going to come to karaoke tonight and said lol I think you got me sick. Cause I had a cold last weekend. And I was like oh shit are you taking a covid test? And he said GOOD CALL lmao IT HADNT OCCURRED TO HIM
And he was going to come out even though he thought he just had a cold. Without testing. What an idiot
And I feel irresponsible because it crossed my mind to postpone but we already had once and I was desperate and didn’t want to be pushy. Well I learned my lesson
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pebblethief · 2 years
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ok slightly longer ramble abt the autism assessment
going under a cut bc itll probably get wordy but i want you all to know that the guy looked like a discount oscar isaac. which is to say still distractingly hot lol
ok so overall it really wasnt too bad! i still hate talking about myself but its SO much easier to just...dump about your personality than your trauma like u gotta do w therapists
sure i dont like talking about my insufficiencies but telling someone a billion dumb stories about how as a kid i prefered my friends parents company or that yes i did very much notice that he put the hand gel down differently and yes it would be nice for it to go back please lol
he used the “Diagnostic Interview for Social and Communication Disorders (DISCO)” thing for this, if u are curious (and i think some of you are thinking about it so maybe u wanna know specifics)
i dont think it was worded the same as this one (this is a pdf link, jic youre on your phone), he had less stuff about school/my childhood and more about how i am now. but same general format and types of questions
he was very nice when i was explaining that i will overexplain if im not sure the other person 100% gets it and then proceeded to do EXACTLY that to explain it lmfao. he laughed and was like yeah that sounds about right
he also managed to pull out some symptoms that i hadnt even thought about like “if a friend was upset would you put your arm around them to comfort them” and that straight up never would have occurred to me to do. thats not what i was thinking of whenever i came across that question
just overall he was very nice and never made me feel weird and knew how to ask questions so i wouldnt just clam up. a much better experience than any other type of brain assessment ive ever had!
he also emailed me to confirm im on the waiting list. which is unfortunately 12-18 months RIP. he said theyre trying to hire more people but theyve got massive covid backlog so. at least he gave me the “ok im officially not allowed to say but” thing so i can feel like less of a faker
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lesbian-boo-radley · 4 months
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Akdhjska that sounds fucking amazing! I wont lie i hadnt thought of that bc Mal seems to want a little and bad as Mulan wants a caregiver. I forgot they have no prior knowledge of each other so duh it makes sense it would take some time.
And the Regina and Mulan interaction hits me out of nowhere. Especially since i feel Regina wouldnt have been confident enough to even try that (and maybe a little bit bc this is a prime place for Emma's jealousy to come out). But now i gotta ask:
Does Emma ask for it (bc Regina would do anything for her)?
Or did Mulan need it? Would she ask or would that be something Emma or Regina would bring up/suggest if they thought she does need it?
Would they have been able to talk preferences and limits or did it happen as a surprise? What is Mulan's regular regressed age?
... would Mal and Mulan meet while she is regressed bc Regina called for back up in a panic? Though idk if thatt would make things easier or more awkward later (or if it could be seen as a break of trust :( which would break me at least a little)
Would that make Emma more clingy to share her mommy or would she be too distracted/having fun to worry about it?
lol You're gonna hate me a little bit Anon but I don't wanna give too much away. I will tell you that the first meeting will be at the club for Playground on Halloween night and that on the way to the club it doesn't really occur to Regina that Mulan is going to be nervous, kind of like it didn't occur to her that Emma would be. Emma and Mulan have spent a little time together in the past letting their little sides out together in private, but it's always been very light stuff like watching Disney movies together or playing "kid" video games. Emma and Regina did discuss staying close to Mulan with the intent of smashing her and Mal together, but they didn't really talk about Mulan being little. What happens though is a very organic moment of understanding between Emma and Regina and then the same between the three of them.
But I can talk about after the meeting. After I get this big, long one out I want to do a bunch of shorter, one-event one-shots that will jump around date wise a little for the months of November, December, January, and February in their lives. A few of those will be very little/Caretaker centric and I really want to explore the dynamic between all of them as a group. Also Mulan's regressed age is very similar to Emma's in public. So right around that 3 to 6, but with Mal in private very much younger. I might do a one-shot that is glimpses into the other couple's lives, but I'm not sure yet about that.
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dahniwitchoflight · 3 years
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Homesquared Chapter 16
Alrighty, that was a fun tangent, now back to John it seems?
Oh, no, Narration of John (So Actually Dirk, speak of the devil and he shall appear and all that etc etc)
“ leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had. “
pfft lol so Im not the only one that thought it would be funny if that scene was interpreted in a Pale Romantic light, even though that really wasn’t what was happening
OIh! but we still get Roxy, just the other version of Roxy
Roxy subtly being like “hey!! shit has apparently gone down, were not exactly close atm but I feel bad about you dying to want to know if youre still alive so im gonna message you while trying to make it look like i dont care about it as much as I do”
JOHN: trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so
and the wonderful question is, what IS going be happening with you now John?
Roxy looking nice and casual, but also yeah narration, why are you making this ominous, its not like Roxy’s out here to double spy on behalf of Jane, I don’t think Roxys on her side THAT much
ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out
ROXY: but so far so good
ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!
Roxy once again being a master of hiding how shes feeling, even when trying to open up, feeling pretty stressed about whats happening with Jane, understandable, the exclamation points give it away lol
The narration is really trying to make John nervous though
OH lol that was the implication haha no lol John it obviously wasn’t that
“John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced? He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.“
lol once again, Dirk has no idea how to read Roxy at all and just trips over himself and his assumptions XD
Yeah, looks like Roxy not on the Jane train and is doing some takesies backsies, shes glossing over her feelings on the matter still though, I know thats par for the course of how Roxy tends to handle stuff too but I wish shed open up a bit more, but maybe shes playing the smart game, yknow, knowing that Dirk has a hard time reading her, so glossing over stuff is how you protect yourself against the narrative force, confusion and vaguery in the narrative and her actions only helps her to keep control over it, because at any point, you can decide to “clear up” any narrative “miscommunication” or “confusion” and lay down what is it thats actually happening with you any time you want
Void working in the behind the scenes to do what they want
JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE.
JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house?
JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self?
JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know?
JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something?
JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames.
JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it.
JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late?
JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison.
JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good.
JOHN: but that’s just bullshit.
JOHN: it DID feel good.
JOHN: i DO feel free.
JOHN: sorry.
ROXY: no need 2 apologize
ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn
JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.
Im pretty sure you’re talking about a gender thing John, like, very 100% sure now this is what’s happening
because if you were actually a girl, of course you’re dad leaving all these notes about how one day hes gonna be so proud of the man youll become, yeah, that can feel a little pressuring, even if your dad didnt mean it like that, since he was unfailingly the kind of dad just bumbling around trying to understand their kid as best they could and leave encouragements everywhere, thats what his intent was, but all his notes come off a bit wrong in particular issues
remember the note under the fridge that was all like “SON. IF YOURE READING THIS NOTE, YOUVE FINALLY BECOME STRONG ENOUGH OF A MAN TO PICK UP THE FRIDGE.” not exactly that but that was always the vibe Dad’s little notes always had
Yeah, i can see how John would view it as a bit off, but if he hadnt the self awareness to realize it was a gender thing at the time, hed be understandly confused as to why such a thing would bother him
now though, he’s realizing, maybe, he doesn’t exactly want to be the man his dad always encouraged him to be
John does seem a lot happier here in his convo with Roxy than he did on his own when the house was burning, that conversation with karkat left me wondering if John was about to start dissociating he was so down, but here he says he feels freeing and happy about it?
ROXY: but like now that u mention it
ROXY: *meaningful pause*
JOHN: …
JOHN: i
JOHN:
John’s beginning to question stuff, or acknowledge that he’s questioning stuff, cuz it’s true, and hes feeling happy about it, in a way that he wasnt before, but he hasnt quite connected the dots here between the happy feeling and what exactly he has to be happy about
ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit
Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.
ROXY: ok or just like push when i push
ROXY: we both got sick muscles
ROXY: no other adjectives necessary
JOHN: yeah ok.
Yeah Roxy’s 100% picked up on it, and maybe Dirk has as well if the narration is commenting on it
Alrighty then, to the secret lair under the bed!
oh I just noticed how kind of cute and interesting Roxy’s nickname for Harry is, “Lil H A” Harry Anderson shortens to Ha like laughter haha
and if Harry had Roxy’s last name, it’d be Harry Anderson Lalonde
Lil HAL
lol what is Callie doing under Roxy’s secret bedchamber XD
This whole secret bedchamber thing is turning into one big metaphor isn’t it?
That thing behind the curtain kind of looks like the Attic Portal shape from Hiveswap though
that’d be neat if that was it, like obviously we knew one of the cherubs had to have something to do with that portal just going by the design of it alone
Honestly it makes sense that Callie is doing it under the curtain of Roxy’s Void, it’s honestly the safest place to do something like that
lol Calliope has grown past writing fanfic about shipping and being in love, now the drama of broken relationships and divorce is all the rage XD character growth? haha
CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr.
CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point.
Calliope just burned him harder than his childhood home’s destruction
CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are.
have you been talking to Jake lol (I mean, probably Original Grandpa Jake tbh if that portal is actually the portal)
Alright so John is getting caught up on the major plot points, Earth C is indeed in the large black hole, his choice didn’t matter since both choices happened anyway yadda yadda
CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip.
CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads".
CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads.
yup yup yup pretty par for the course of timesplits in homestuck so far
CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are".
yup, this is true, the ending’s of both referenced the others, so it’s disingenuous to say one is “canon” while the other isn’t
one is simply in the realm of actual possibility, the other is in the realm of unlikely possibility
More than likely, John would have chosen to leave and go die and be the hero like in Meat, but there was still the possibility that he would stay, even if it was unlikelier than the other, but since both were possible choices for him to realistically make, both actually happened for real
CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity
that’s interesting, so there’s the original meteor that crashed into the surface of Earth C, and it’s in here that the singularity of what I don’t wanna call the Green Hole to match the Green Sun when I wanna talk about this specific Black Hole lolol
but yeah, here in this meteor lies the crux of the paradox it seems, interesting, also interesting again, this is where that Hiveswap Portal is
Hiveswap does have a plot point of “Joey must do thing in 11 days otherwise Earth and Alternia will be destroyed” and the only known destruction event of Earth and Alternia so far in canon is the Green Sun’s Creation from the destruction of both universes (and then later Callie’s destruction of the green sun into the black hole) so is Hiveswap gonna be a factor in the green sun’s destruction/creation as well? (Joey has the symbol of the Green Sun for a reason, I’m super curious as to what factor Joey has in relation to the Green Sun’s Existence, We still don’t know what the fact those black monsters are too, they’re like nega-first guardians, the kind of things that look like would come out of a Black Hole that came from the Green Sun tbh)
It’s all inter-related I tells ya
ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love
JOHN: aw.
You say that now but
CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them.
CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish.
CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart!
CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been.
yeah that’s basically how this multiverse’s reality works, the future is a thing that already physically exists, just in a different location in the universe somewhere else
time travel and spacial teleportation could be said to be the same thing all along
that’s why violating the events of the future has actual consequences, because its like asking to go somewhere that doesn’t exist but how has to exist because it’s the future, too much of that and reality starts cracking at the seams to make room
same thing happens with sessions and playing sburb
the planets and dreaming moons and all that simultaneously have always existed here, and started existing only because the player played the game and the planets were generated upon entering a session, but to the player involved, it looks and feels like you are just being teleported to a different location in the universe, because you also kind of are
CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary.
CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence.
CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon.
CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist!
So you’re just in a little seperated bubble, that’s not connect temporally to any other place of existence, you aren’t anywhere in the past or the future of anywhere else
nowhere leads here, and here can not lead outwards either, theoretically, and yes it exists, so it must also
JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...?
CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!
CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal.
CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific.
JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that.
CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U
CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley.
CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u=
CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.
CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!
So someone else definitely has managed to do such a thing
JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything?
JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal?
CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not.
CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm.
JOHN: oh.
CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval.
CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality.
CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u
JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...
yeah, so because here in the black hole neither affects the past or the future of anywhere else, being so disconnected, they are technically free of the reigns of the Alpha Timeline that exists elsewhere in the multiverse
the Alpha Timeline now being understood to simply mean, The Narrative
Things are the way they are because they are thus written to be so
CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth.
CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher.
ROXY: its total bs is what it is
CALLIOPE: right, yes.
CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite.
CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.
Hmmm. It’s a dangerous idea to be playing with for sure, to decide all the black pieces in the game of chess suddenly become white, it is a very flip turning of reality upside down to be sure
To be honest, I’d think you’d need a powerful Doom player at your disposal to even try something like this
or actually, a powerful Doom user would be most likely to shut this entire thing down, knowing how bad of an idea it’d be, maybe it’s more you need a powerful Life player to do something like this instead
is that also why Dirk viewed Jane as an ally then? She would technically have the kind of power to upend the black and white doomy laws of reality if driven to her full potential, i mean obviously yes, we know this already because of the candy colored I-can-do-whatever-I-want-with-no-consequences lollipop
Is this what Calliope hopes to achieve with the Hiveswap Portal then? her goals for Joey and friends are to be the ones to prevent their universe’s twin destructions, and thus the Green Sun’s initial existence and then also the destruction into the Black Hole after the fact? that would be one way to prevent the Black Hole from existing, making it so the thing that creates the black hole never exists either
and that's certainly a canon event that would be difficult to tear asunder without major consequences
That would be a “Re-writing Homestuck from the very beginning” level of canon event
And if I’m correct, Joey is theorized by me to be a Mage of Life, if any classpect at their full potential was gonna do something like that, or have the impossible knowledge to something impossibly paradoxical like that, well..
ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh
ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix
JOHN: oh.
JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then.
ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense
ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail
CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity.
ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point
CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan.
CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more.
CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it.
CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak.
CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself?
I mean yeah! makes sense! Johns major factor here is Freedom, Vriska’s is Importance
and yeah, I can think of no other wholly dramatic event that to mess with stuff with the Green Sun, everyone will have eyes on that, they have to, their whole existence the way it is relies on it
But, they could also mean something else, its only condition is that it has to be something so imflappably impossible, something so not-canon and so outrageous that it basically horse-shoes around to the other end of the canon spectrum to being something that truly exists again
and that could be literally anything and it’s nerve wracking and exciting to see what thing theyre gonna come up with to just directly kneecap Homestuck itself
ROXY: thx babe
ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or
JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine.
(yeah that’s because Babe can be construed as feminine June)
so, I’m basically convinced they’re doing June Egbert now
that to me was like, pretty severely on the nose
John: Hey Roxy, what it does mean when you find a sense of freedom when all of the symbolism of the masculinity surrounding your childhood burns down around you
Roxy: idk It’s probably a gender thing man
John: I didn’t say the word gender-
Roxy: It’s ok babe no pressure, we can hash it out later
John: Hmm, later then. :)
Roxy: (Turns and looks towards the camera with a knowing smile)
shit all that imagery makes me think of Roxy as that picture of the small kid smirking at the camera while a house burns in the distance XD
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artreider · 3 years
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send this to ten bloggers you think are wonderful. keep the game going 💕✨💫 (I am so glad I follow you on here, you're opinions and reactions to station 19 are really interesting, and often you present things that wouldn't even have occurred to me. I think you are so lovely and would like to thank you for always letting me write the things you inspire. I hope it's a trend we will continue in the future! - also this is @herrera-n-hayes...idk if many people know that this is my main blog and that the other is just a very active side-blog <3333 )
Thank you so much. I love your writings and am glad i can present things that hadnt occurred to you. I hope it continues as well. I didnt know, thought they were two separate people lol.
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satoruvt · 3 years
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fanfic writer tag game <3
helloooo <3 thank u for tagging me @hannie-dul-set this is so cute lol
ummmm! i think i will tag. @leejuyeeon and @seokmingiggles !! and as always anyone else who wants to <33
peum ~
1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?
omg lets see if i can do this in order. i think the first fandom i ever wrote fanfic for was creepypasta LMAOO and then... fairy tail? then 5 seconds of summer, then maybe it 2017?? voltron legendary defender, detroit become human, monster prom and mystic messenger kind of overlapped, the arcana !!! then my hero academia, haikyuu, a Little bit of demon slayer... i think thats it lol
2. what fandoms are you currently writing for?
seventeen is all for rn, but i’m thinking of also writing for mha again and adding jjk!!
3. how long have you been writing?
oh wow for like... probably around 6 years? maybe 6 and a half
4. on which platforms do you post your stories?
rn just tumblr, i used to post more actively on ao3 but i havent since i started writing for kpop
5. what is your favourite genre to write?
ahhh like !!! comfort fics!!! i think theres something really sweet in those unspoken feelings during moments you think you’ll never forget... the idea of being with someone and you’re just so sure they’re your favorite person, and then warmth that comes with that realization... wahh
6. are you a pantser or a planner?
oh it depends i think. for longer fics i like to plan them out, but i really wing it with like timestamps or shorter ones
7. one shot or multi-chapter?
ONE SHOTS. my god i fucking suck at multi-chapter shit LMAOO ive only done 1 series like that and it was so rough for me lol
8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?
hm how do i explain this... anything that makes sense? however long it takes for it to feel like the chapter/fic is summed up or completed. i used to worry about word counts a lot but now i rarely pay attention to them, both in reading and writing
9. what is your longest published story? is it complete?
if we’re talking about multi-chaptered, then the color of you wins at 17k !! in terms of one shots, it’s for now; forever at 9k!
10. which story did you enjoy working on the most?
oh boy. i think... anything from the last like. 8 months? my svt stuff for sure!! i went a while without writing in between like january-late november 2020, and i was worried that my writing would suffer a lot... it took a sec for me to get back into the groove of things but i’m feeling happier than ever with the stuff i write now. i feel like ive matured about the way i approach my own writing and ideas, and how i do everything, and my fics make me really proud. ive started writing within different aus that i hadnt touched before, or talking about different feelings or ideas, etc... i really feel like ive grown with this most recent burst lol, and i love working on them! i get so hyped up when im in the middle of writing or even planning, im just so excited to share all of it hehe
11. favorite request you've have written and why (if any?)
ah its been so long since ive worked with requests that i cant remember anything LOL
12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories?
yes. it is comfort and content. it is the feeling of love. it is holding hands on a walk in the middle of spring and smelling flowers. it is the sound of leaves when a gust of wind blows past. it is looking into ur lovers eyes and feeling nothing but pure fondness
13. current number of wips?
fuck like somewhere around 20 probably
14. three things you have noticed about your own writing?
i really like repetition (specifically in sentences if that makes sense??), LOTS of unspoken things (even if i picture a fic with an established relationship, i dont say it within the fic; and especially concerning romantic feelings, i love when things go unsaid and are FELT full force), i think a lot of detailed rambling... i really like to try and describe emotions and stuff in the most abstract and obscure ways lol i feel like it makes things a little more palpable and honest
15. a quote you like from a published story
im gonna do a few. Lol. firstly this long one from pretend people can unlearn:
“Are you…” Jeonghan starts, and when you look at him, his eyes are still on the city in front of you. “Are you ever afraid that we’ll fall out of love?”
It never occurred to you that this was love. It’s not like the love you’ve experienced in the past, not even close. But maybe… maybe that’s why you never leave, why you hold yourself back from certain arguments like it might fix everything. Maybe love is the reason why Jeonghan still seems to believe in you. Why he promises he’ll be the best thing for you despite always breaking that promise.
(Is it love, a voice in your head questions, or is it longing?)
It takes you a while to respond. “I don’t know,” you end up saying, because you really don’t. Jeonghan turns his head and looks at you, and you half expect him to start an argument in the middle of night, out on the street like this. It wouldn’t be the first time. “Would that… be okay?”
“I don’t know,” Jeonghan answers, just like you. His voice is soft. You want to reach for his hand just to hold it. “You’re still…”
He pauses, like he’s trying to find the right word. You let him take his time, for once, instead of accusing him of the worst. “I’m still?”
“Everything,” he tells you. He looks so sad and you reach out for him because it’s the only thing you can offer. You think the worst thing about your relationship with Jeonghan is that you will always believe him when he gets like this, just like you’ll believe him when he takes it back in the heat of a fight.
next is from like there isn’t something missing <3
But you’re crying into his chest because it’s not you, and it’s not him. Seungcheol wonders if it was always meant to be like this, if the two of you were always meant to part or if something… if something just went wrong, somewhere. A bump that did a bit more damage than either of you thought.
He tries not to think about it now. Tears fill his own eyes as he presses a kiss to your hair because he loved you. He truly did.
“I was so lucky to love you,” he murmurs, voice a cracked whisper. “I’m so happy I got the chance.”
When Seungcheol wakes up the next morning in an empty bed, he’s not surprised. But the Post-It note that’s dressed in your handwriting…
Well. It’s over.
and this last one from only for you, i will dance !!
“This will always be our own time,” he says. “We’ll meet here.”
You know. He says it every time. It never fails to make your heart soar.
“Our thirteenth month,” you say, just like every time. Chan smiles.
He kisses you so strong you feel yourself falling.
16. a quote from an unpublished story
ahh ok ill do a few here too!!! one is something ive begun writing, the other is one that i’ve just been working on planning out <3
Smoke blows past somebody else’s lips and partially obstructs Wonwoo’s view of you.
He hasn’t been to a party like this in a long time. It’s elegant, more of a gala than anything. He can’t remember who threw it or for what reason. It doesn’t really matter, he supposes, watching you make conversation with the partygoers. They all have old money to throw around, the symbolism stitched into their suit jackets and red-rimmed heels; remnants of it left on tables and in the contents of expensive cigars.
You play them like you are one of them, tell them the right things with a silver tongue. Wonwoo always watches, plays the part of an observer. It’s impressive, the way you float around the room like it’s nothing.
Wonwoo observes; Wonwoo knows things.
and the second one...
"you don't know me," you respond. your voice carries no bite, just a fact, and joshua knows this
"i want to," he says after a second. "if you'll let me."
and he's asking permission to be your friend, to be close to you, something so tender and strangely polite
it makes you feel almost sad
"don't expect too much," you say, a little teasing. joshua only smiles
17. space for you to say something to your readers
wahhh thank you all so much!!! when i first got into writing for kpop it was a lot different mostly because i think... i was writing stuff for different anime before, and i had built up a big following because of that and my works always did like, really exceptional in terms of notes and feedback and such, and getting into kpop... has been rough on that end 💀 but i appreciate your support thus far, even if it’s small... i’m still working towards a standard that i have for myself!!! so please be patient with me, thank you for the support !!
also please find it in yourself to leave lil comments or any sort of feedback... please..... PLEASE... any creator ever understands this struggle please always try to do this!!! for me and for any other creator you follow and enjoy content from <333
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oflgtfol · 3 years
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holy absolute fuck i just had the most fucking wild dream ever
so it was .... once again... star wars... but also BARELY related to star wars
i think . for some reason narratively i was luke but also not. i have no idea what was up with that
but then i got sent back in time to like before star wars, before the galaxy politics, way back to Earth As It Is Now, like implying that star wars is the distant future fate of our current galaxy lol
but in sending me back, it sent me back to my current family? which also implies that i somehow was alive in this time, but also in that distant future? i have no idea what was up with that either
BUT ANYWAY. so apparently a catalyst for the galaxy becoming as fucked up as it is in sw is that the earth basically becomes inhospitable. i had no idea how but i was sent back to to... do something about it. i dont think i had to stop it. i cant remember what my goal was
but anyway i had told my parents that something bad would happen because im from the future. but also i didnt know HOW the earth would be destroyed. i think maybe there were two versions of me because A Version Of Me told my parents that the earth would be destroyed and when they asked when, i simply told them the date my dad died and that was it. but the current version of myself had no idea what exactly would happen or when, but i did remember the Distant Future. idk. and despite being from the distant future, this was still somehow my life. like my parents, my house, my friends, so idk lol
so anyway it was basically just life as normal but knowing that at some point we would be annihilated and it was basically just trying to make everybody’s last days good ones. maybe thats what my goal was? idk
but all throughout it, there was that undercurrent of dread, but also there was weird ass foreshadowing too like ive never had that in a dream LMAO. like my mom told me one day that she was on facebook and one of her friends posted about some land being bought near her house by the government for some big secret project
and then a few days later somehow we learned that the project was some big fucking laser. i think because the facebook friend was taking pics of its construction
and instantly i just knew that that was how we were gonna die. but i didnt feel anything about it lol it was just this steady knowledge that oop we’re in the endgame now. and i didnt tell my parents that was it but i kinda assumed they knew, but they also showed no alarm about it so idk
and so on the day of the laser being used, i was like. ok this is it. the laser was supposed to help us somehow, that was the government’s storyline, and my parents were like “ok should we get the birth certificates? official documents?” and i just told them “you know this is it, right?” because whats the point when we’re gonna be annihilated lol
so they started organizing the official documents on the floor. and i had this one thing, that was proof that i was from the future, it had like the vaguest map of the sw galaxy and the date i was from and i put it down on the ground with everything else. and my dad looked at it and was like “that’s really what will happen after this?” and i was just like. yeah. and i was explaining like the core vs outer rim politics and this is where the “i think i was narratively luke skywalker” comes in bc my dad was like “u know a lot about core politics” and it was like “lol. you could say that” (Even though irl my actual self knows nothing of it LMAO?)
ANYWAY so then. I was expecting the laser to get fucked up and we’d all die in an instant. i think thats why i was so unbothered by it all. i was expecting a big explosion
but. nothing happened. as time kept ticking down i texted my friends that i love them. i had no idea if they knew what was about to occur but i wanted them to see that. but i sent it too late bc i no longer had any service and so the message didnt go through. and it was like. why is my service down when nothing happened yet ...?
and so i went outside and its. snowing. and my parents followed me out. and instantly i just knew it was like, nuclear snow or what the fuck ever bc it was not natural especially since it had been blue skies earlier in the day
and i turned to my parents and was like “if the laser went off. then why are we still here?”
and my mom pulls out some paper or her phone or whatever and was like. “this wasn’t what was going to kill us. you said it yourself, the day dad would die is still like 10 years away”
and i was like. “i said WHAT?!?!?” bc idfk, this current version of myself hadnt been the one to tell my parents for some reason so even i was unaware of that
and so i was just freaking out like. YOU MEAN we have to live in a POST APOCALYPTIC WORLD NOW? and i was just despairing so fucking badly, it all hit me at once how fucked up this all is, i wasnt prepared to have to struggle to survive for at least a fucking decade, i thought we’d die instantly. and so i started crying and then i was angry like “WHY WOULD ANYONE LET THE GOVERNMENT BUILD A BIG FUCKING LASER?? NOTHING GOOD EVER COMES OF THAT” and my parents were trying to cheer me up?? my mom was like “oh come on, we watch the walking dead all the time, we got this! and dont you DARE kill yourself” bc i think i had told her irl that if i had to live thru a zombie apocalypse i’d just straight up kill myself at the very beginning LMAO. like im NOT living through this shit man. and when she told me not to kill myself i was just like, well i cant anyway if i have to be alive to see the date dad dies!
and then well . i woke up i guess LOL
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wickymicky · 4 years
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i listened to Life Sucks by HA:TFELT and my initial impression was that it was weird and didnt really sound all that much like kpop to me, and i was surprised that it was all in English cause i know she’s not American or whatever, and the theme seemed really dark lol, looooots of fake blood haha... and there were some lines where i was like “okay huh, thats kinda edgy, this is weird idk how to process this”
but fucking hell i just read all about her issues with her father, and like i mean that totally changes my entire perception of this song lol. i’m not used to kpop songs being this raw and autobiographical, i mean that’s the number one thing that makes me feel like it’s disrespectful to reduce this to just being “kpop” lol. i mean ultimately the song as a song (as in, the melody and instrumental and catchiness and stuff, beyond just the lyrical content and visuals of the music video) isn’t something i’m really head over heels in love with, it’s alright. but it’s really just the context of how this song is literally about what Yeeun is thinking and feeling on this topic and it’s extremely raw in that regard... like... that’s what’s gonna keep me coming back to this song for sure lol. in my first two listens i was like “woah this is strange, i should try to find more information about this, but all in all idk im not really sure i’m into it....” but on my third listen, with the context, it was like a punch in the fucking gut lol
like of course i noticed at first how the lyrics seemed like they were about a situation like that, being estranged from a horrible parent and cutting them out of your life and feeling cursed for having their blood in your veins, but i had no reason to think it was actually like... nonfiction. i thought it was just a really edgy concept, maybe even a little distasteful if it was just a song someone wrote and then she performed, or something she wrote herself but hadnt experienced cause she was just writing from the perspective of a character or something... but then after knowing that it actually is real, i wondered why my initial reaction would be to think that it wasnt, i wondered why it didnt even occur to me that she was really singing about stuff that really happened to her, and i think the answer is just that i’ve like never seen that in kpop before lol. 
granted, i tend to gravitate towards groups and not soloists, and you probably do get a toooooon more of that from soloists, so that’s one reason. and like, the soloists i do listen to generally were part of groups and still do music with a girl group quality to them.... i mean i know Yeeun was in a girl group obviously lmao, but she’s reinvented herself as a soloist more than like any other ex-girlgroup soloist i’m aware of, such that her solo career (from the veeeery little i’ve heard so far, just this song and one or two others) seems like it has very little to do with her time in one of the biggest girl groups lmao. isn’t it wild though Sunmi, Hyuna, HA:TFELT, and Yubin were all once in the same group together? four really iconic soloists? are the other members soloists now too? like damn... 
anyway yeah it’s good, it’s a lot to think about, and i wanna know more about her and listen to more from her
edit: oops yubin and hyuna were never in wonder girls at the same time, i definitely knew that but i forgot just now lol. i’m not that familiar with kpop before 2014 lmao, and most of my knowledge of wonder girls comes from trivia bits ive seen and not from actually reading about them or watching stuff. like i know that hyuna was a debut member but left because of an illness or condition or something, i know that sunmi left for a period to study in america and then came back and they played as a band... i know trivia things like that that you would see in bulleted lists of facts on kprofiles or whatever lmao but im sorry to say i really dont know much about them, i can only name the titles of maybe two or three of their songs, and i feel like ive only listened to one..... i’ll get there though, i’ll get there
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freebooter4ever · 4 years
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gave in and tried listening to that stupid "hes just not that into you" show and yeesh officially cured of any melancholy over not dating much, why are people so mean, why does no one be just straight forward about relationships??? Why? my mom threw this book at me while i was in high school as if it would magically turn me into something she wanted me to be and i kept refusing to read it. i was not missing much apparently. ugh too much time to listen to things i start getting desperate on ntflx. anyone got suggestions?
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sodrippy · 5 years
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do guerin for the char thing!!!!
How I feel about this character? hes baby. i love him. hes got it all bro, hes sexy, hes stupid, hes got childhood trauma, he isolates for protection (both his own and others) but still hurts deeply, he tries his best but it still goes to shit so he stops trying, he fixes cars, hes bi out loud, like, what more can u ask for??
All the people I ship romantically with this character? alex, obviously, thats love right there BUT i must say the full shitshow of the last couple eps has really cooled me on them which sucks but i just find it kind of difficult to fully engage with pairings who have given each other so much hurt yk? also i really really loved his dynamic w maria but again. the way they ended the last season has made it nigh impossible for me to invest bc first off, we all Know its a filler relationship which is shitty to all involved, and secondly it still feels so wack for both their characters to do that. anyways my issues are with the writers as usual, i love both pairings for the characters themselves.
My non-romantic pairings for them? michael-liz science legends is the bi dream team thats just facts. also the absolute lack of braincells that occurs when michael and kyle hang out is so fucking funny god i love them too aaand i think he and isobel have a really sweet relationship, no offence but shes the most likable in her scenes w michael bc theyre both just relaxed and snippy but in a loving way and its always so nice to see!
My unpopular opinion about this character? i dont think ive thought that deeply about him since the unfortunate death of my brain circa black sails to even have an unpopular opinion, and more to the point i dont see any fandom thoughts outside of the like, three trusted mutuals i know so...maybe that he really doesnt get enough credit? like he sacrificed a LOT and took on a LOT during the whole isobel-murder thing, and he carries it with him all the time and he continued to do things to protect her and i think people might forget or not consider that enough? but again idk what the hot takes are so fhdjcn
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon? show us more baby faced flashbacks, cowards! i really actually wish they would let him communicate his feelings to literally anyone ever in more than a throwaway ten second scene, that would be very fresh and cool. also i hope they handle the shit with max taking away his injury properly bc that was fucked up and i wish it hadnt happened at all actually, i dont care about furthering the story or what it meant for max or whatever lol it was real fucked up and they should take it back
send me a character name
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firelxdykatara · 5 years
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Day 2: Hidden Identities
So this is a day late, but hopefully not a dollar short! (lol kill me my jokes suck) ANYWAY, this is for Day 2 of @thirtydaysofzutara and was heavily inspired by @artcraawl‘s amazing Zutara Mulan AU pictures. Some of it is directly from the movie, some is embellished, anyway I hope it’s a fun read, as I certainly had fun writing it!
---
“I don’t know if I can do this, Tui.”
Katara gave one more half-hearted tug, but her father’s sword remained stubbornly embedded in the tree’s trunk. With a sigh, she flopped to the ground, thumping her fists against the hard-packed soil in frustration. Her companion, a silver dragon-lizard with impossibly black eyes, scurried up the tree and perched on the flat of the blade, tugging gently, but to no avail. “It’ll come out! You just have- to be- persistent!”
With a final tug, the lizard slipped from the blade and fell to the ground. Katara pushed herself up on her elbows with a groan. “I’ve been persistent! It’s not working! I haven’t even been able to get that stupid arrow out of the pole.”
“No one else has, either,” Tui pointed out, curling her tail over her shoulder and rubbing a spot of dirt from her scales.
“That’s not the point.” Katara sat up and pushed herself to her feet.  “They belong here. They don’t have to prove anything.”
“Neither do you, as far as they know.”
“Sure, and what happens when they find-”
“Who are you talking to, Tak?”
Katara froze. Tui scampered into the bushes with an alarmed squeak, and the moment stretched uncomfortably, as the woman tried desperately to convince herself that voice belonged to someone—anyone­—else. It didn’t work; she was pretty sure she could feel his amber gaze burning holes into her back.
He had the disconcerting ability to make her feel like he could see right through her façade—through the warrior she was trying to be, to the scared, homesick girl beneath.
Time sped up again, and Katara turned to look at Zuko, who was standing behind her with his arms crossed and one eyebrow raised.
“Uh…” she began, before realizing her voice was pitched too high, coughing to cover it up. “No one! I’m just, talking to… myself…” She trailed off, rubbing the back of her neck with one hand (mostly to hide the fact that she kept reaching for a lock of hair that just wasn’t there anymore). Her eyes slid to her sword, still sunk into the tree trunk, about the same time Zuko’s did. Disapproval radiated from his lithe form in waves, and Katara had to fight back the nervous laughter that kept threatening to bubble up.
“Oh, this is… I was just training…” she said, grabbing the hilt tightly in both hands. It still refused to move, and she braced herself with one foot on the trunk. Finally, with an almighty yank, the sword came free, and the momentum sent her careening off-balance.
Zuko ducked just in time—the blade passed a hair’s breadth over his head.
“Oops,” Katara muttered, giving a weak chuckle as she clumsily shoved her sword back into its sheath. “Cut it a little close there-” Spirits, Katara, stop talking.
The captain looked less than impressed as he straightened back up, looking at her with some emotion in his eyes that she couldn’t quite describe. Then he sighed, shaking his head. “Pack up.”
Something churned unpleasantly in the pit of her stomach. “What?”
“Go home. You’re through here, Tak. I’ve tried my best, but you just aren’t suited for war—not in my company. And if you’re the best that Chief Hakoda could send in his own stead-” He broke off, squaring his shoulders. “You’d be more of a danger to your own comrades than the Fire Nation soldiers. And I won’t have good men, even you, needlessly killed because they weren’t ready.”
Katara watched as he walked away, trying very hard to keep from noticing the way his muscles had tensed (probably from anger) beneath the thin padding of his training vest. “He’s right. I know he is. But…”
Tui poked her head out of the bushes. “But you want to prove him wrong.”
A wry grimace twisted at her mouth. “I was too willful and stubborn to make a good wife, remember? It must be good for something.”
“So what are you going to do?”
The sun had set, the last of its amber glow receding from the skyline just as the full moon began to peek through the clouds. “I don’t know…” Katara murmured, gazing up at the sky—she traced the moonbeams with her eyes, until she caught one that illuminated the arrow still stuck at the top of that tall, wooden beam.
She could have had it down weeks ago, if she’d wanted to risk waterbending—but it was supposed to be a physical exercise. For all that she was at a disadvantage compared to the rest of the company (not that anyone but Sokka realized it), the last thing she wanted to do was prove herself by cheating. But there had to be some way to get to that arrow. And maybe, if she got it down herself…
 Hours later, the only thing preventing her from screaming in frustration was the fact that Zuko’s tent was only ten feet away. “Come on,” she grunted, taking another running jump at the pole—and, as before, she made it a few feet before falling to the ground in an ungainly heap.
She might have had a better chance at getting higher, if not to the top, if it weren’t for the weights at her wrists. Katara picked herself up for the thousandth time, dropping the weights and dusting herself off. (It was a good thing her family didn’t seem to have the ‘quitter’ gene, or she might have contemplated just leaving, like she’d been told.) She couldn’t help the nagging feeling that there was something about this exercise that was missing, that she just didn’t understand. She picked up the weights again, holding them in front of her, inspecting the etchings in the gold. It was an ancient form of Earth Kingdom script, and she could only make out a few letters.
Somehow, she doubted anyone had carved a cheat sheet onto these things a thousand years ago, anyway.
But as the weights swayed gently on their leather ties, something occurred to her—it was so simple she could almost kick herself for not thinking of it sooner. It was so obvious. It wasn’t just about having to struggle against the weight. It was about discipline and strength—using them to her advantage.
Squaring her shoulders, Katara faced the pole again—this time, when she jumped, she swung the weights, tangling the leather ties together, and she began to climb.
Halfway up, she almost wanted to let go, forget the whole thing. Her arms were screaming in protest, and she kept slipping even as she gained inches in height—sweat was streaming down her face in small rivers, and she could feel her tunic sticking to her back. The cotton binding around her breasts was beginning to itch something fierce. But she had already gotten too far to quit, and so she kept going—gaining inches and losing centimeters, until she could see the top of the pole. She could almost reach out and grab that arrow.
The sun began to peek over the horizon once more, and Katara gasped for breath, her muscles screaming in agony as she grabbed the top of the pole and finally pulled herself up. It was a deceptively wide beam of wood, in fact, and easy enough to perch on was she grabbed the arrow in one tender hand and pulled it free.
It was only when the cheering began that she realized she’d drawn a crowd.
A tired grin crossed her face, and she subtley bent some of her sweat, coating the arrow-head with a thin layer of ice. Just as Zuko’s tent flap opened, she threw the arrow down—it landed with impressive accuracy, thudding into the ground at his feet as he stepped out. He looked up at her, and while it was difficult to tell from how far away she was, Katara almost thought he looked proud.
 ---
 “I’m sorry. About your uncle.” Katara winced inwardly—she kept forgetting to pitch her voice low enough, but Zuko didn’t seem to notice. He was staring at the fire; if he’d heard a word she said, he didn’t indicate it. Which was almost a relief—she wasn’t sure she’d be able to get into a conversation about lost loved ones and not accidentally blow her own cover.
Sokka had been helping as much as he dared, once he’d realized her plan, but there was only so much he could do to keep her from ruining everything with her ‘stupid girly habits’.
Apparently, talking about feelings qualified.
Either way, Zuko clearly wasn’t in the mood for company. Katara turned to go—if she hadn’t already become so tuned to the tenor of his voice, for reasons she couldn’t even begin to explain, she might have missed it entirely when he said, “Thank you, Tak.”
She stopped, glancing back at him—he was giving her at least an attempt at a smile, and it suddenly struck her how very young he looked. Especially for a captain.
He really couldn’t have been more than a couple years older than she was, and it was hard enough for her to manage to keep her own life straight—she couldn’t imagine what it was like trying to lead an entire company.
She opened her mouth to say something else—she wasn’t quite sure what, but since when had thinking ever stopped her from blurting out what was on her mind?—when she heard the screech of a bird of prey high in the sky above them. It sounded familiar, almost… almost like…
She was six years old, and the snow had turned grey from falling ash. Buildings burned, people were screaming and running away, bursts of fire from soldiers in the streets kept illuminating the overcast sky, and Katara couldn’t find her parents.
“Mama!” she shouted, tears streaking through the soot stains on her face, running towards her house. Everything was chaos, but she still knew home. Somewhere, high in the sky, a fire hawk screamed—the little girl could see it circling over her family’s hut, an omen she couldn’t quite comprehend.
When she opened the door, the smell of charred flesh nearly knocked her off her feet. It was-
“The Fire Nation!” Katara heard herself shouting, those last images from her memory still superimposed over her vision, the smell sticking to her all these years later. She wanted to gag, but there was no time. “They’re here! They-“
An arrow whistled through the air and into Zuko’s shoulder as he stood, knocking him flat.
“Zuko!” Katara rushed to his side as more arrows floated into view just over the snowy hilltop—he waved her off, pulling the arrow free with a grunt and clambering to his feet.
“Everyone, get out of their range! Grab the cannons!”
It was pure chaos, after that. Zuko’s company scattered—they grabbed armloads of cannons and their weapons and ran, forcing the Fire Nation soldiers to abandon their high ground advantage if they wanted to do any real damage. Out of range of the arrows was also out of range of their firebenders, and it took everything Katara had not to panic and freeze.
“Sokka!” The relief nearly knocked her over, but she held her ground, grabbing for her brother’s hand and yanking him out of the way of another arrow barrage. “Where’s Zuko? Is he-”
“He’s fine! We need to set up these canons, Tak. Now!”
Their answering barrage sent shockwaves rippling through the ground—when they were down to the last cannon, Zuko appeared behind them. “Hold- we don’t know who’s left. If…”
He trailed off. The smoke cleared, and revealed the bulk of the Fire Nation army still intact on the hillside.
Ozai was at the army’s head. Katara could feel his smug smirk from here.
“Sokka, take that last canon. Hit Ozai, if it’s the last thing you do!” Zuko commanded. “Men- prepare for a fight!”
Katara’s hand went to her sword hilt, but something was still bothering her. Taking out Ozai wouldn’t decimate the Fire Nations forces—they’d keep coming, they’d kill everyone. How many more villages would suffer the way Omashu had? The way her tribe had? The way-
She caught sight of the snow-covered mountain just behind them. They weren’t going to have time to retreat back through the mountain passes to safety, but maybe, if she could only just… She reached, but nothing. Practicing her bending in secret had only gotten her so far, and that snow was too far off. But…
“Give me that!” She pushed Sokka aside and grabbed the cannon. It would work. It had to.
 ---
 Katara was beginning to lose feeling in her arms. She hadn’t realized Ozai’s blade had cut that deep, but now Koda’s saddle was soaked in her blood, and she had barely been able to muster the strength to grab Zuko and pull him to safety.
The avalanche had stilled, snow wiping the last traces of the Fire Nation army away, and Katara finally slid from her horse’s back, stumbling to her knees. Zuko had regained consciousness, and he rushed to her side. “Tak! Are you alright?”
She gripped his arm and pulled herself upright, nodding weakly. “I’m fine, is everyone else-”
“We made it, Tak,” Toph said, affectionately thumping her shoulder. “Thanks to you. That was brilliant.”
The others chimed in, and Katara smiled, for just a moment. And then she collapsed.
When she opened her eyes, she recognized the colors of the medical tent above her cot. For a moment, Katara was dazed, confused—how had she gotten here? Where were Zuko, Sokka and the others? How-
Her clothing had been removed. The breast binding wraps were visible, overlapping the bandages around her abdomen. The doctor was looking at her, perhaps to be sure she was truly awake, but when she opened her mouth to speak, he turned away and left the tent.
Katara sat up quickly, wincing at the tight feeling of the wound in her stomach, wanting to protest—but then Zuko stepped inside, and the words died in her throat.
It was then that she realized her hair was loose—the thick, dark brown waves that just brushed against her shoulders were much more visibly feminine now that she no longer wore them in her father’s hairstyle, and the breast wraps had only been effective at hiding her figure when covered by padding and armour. Now, she felt her cheeks burn as Zuko’s eyes followed her figure, and realized the truth of what the doctor had obviously told him.
“So it’s true,” came Long Feng’s voice as he entered the tent behind Zuko. Where the latter’s gaze was completely unreadable, Long Feng didn’t bother to disguise his disgust. He surged forward, grabbing Katara by the arm and dragging her out of the tent, throwing her into the snow with just her blanket for cover. She fell to her knees before the rest of the company, tears of humiliation freezing to her lashes before they even had a chance to fall.
“A woman,” Long Feng hissed. “A despicable traitor to our great kingdom!”
Toph and Aang stared in shock. Sokka started forward, but Katara shook her head. It was too late for her, but she would not let her brother take the fall, too. “My name is Katara. I only came here to save my father-”
“More lies!” Long Feng insisted, turning to glare at her as Zuko approached. “Devious snake!”
“I never meant for it to go this far!” Her eyes met Zuko’s, and she pleaded with him silently. Please understand. “You have to believe me! I only wanted-”
“Silence!” Long Feng shouted.
Sokka ran forward. “Wait! You can’t do this—she’s my sister!”
“Sokka, no!”
But the damage was done. “You knew about her deception?” Long Feng was practically quivering with rage. “Stand aside, boy, or you will share in this traitor’s fate!”
“Sokka, please-”
He refused to budge. Katara could still see Zuko, staring at the both of them now, sword in hand. He took a step forward, and several gasps ran through the company—Toph and Aang looked ready to rush to their defense, but Long Feng threw his arm out and stopped them. “You know the law!”
For just a moment, Katara met Zuko’s eyes, and thought she saw something flickering in their depths. Something other than anger or disgust. Something warm.
Then it was gone, and Zuko threw his sword to the ground. “A life for a life,” he said, staring down at her. “My debt to you is ended.” Finally, as if only now realizing he was there, Zuko looked at Sokka. “Take her home. Don’t bother coming back.”
He turned on his heel—Long Feng made a noise, as if he were about to protest, but Zuko turned on him with a glower that could’ve melted steel. The advisor finally cowed into silence, he turned to the rest of his men and motioned for them to move out.
 ---
 “You trusted Tak. Why is Katara any different?”
“You stole my victory.” “No! I did!” “… The soldier from the mountain!”
“She’s a woman, and from the water tribes! She’s not worth protecting!”
“I have heard all about you, Katara of the Water Tribes. You followed your brother off to war—stole your father’s armour and ran away from home. You impersonated a soldier, deceived your commanding officer, dishonored the Earth Kingdom, and… you have saved us all.”
 It was… surreal. That was the only way Katara could describe the feeling that overtook her, when she realized that not only was the Earth King bowing, but so was the entirety of Ba Sing Se. As far as the eye could see, citizens were stooping low, and it was all but impossible to believe they were honoring her.
Even Zuko was bowing—even her brother. She wanted to tell them all to stand up, that she really hadn’t done anything that extraordinary, but she didn’t want to risk losing the King’s good faith. The moment eventually passed, anyway, and Katara turned to find the Earth King smiling warmly at her.
“I would be honored if you would accept a seat on my council, Katara,” he said—Long Feng looked like he was about to faint.
“B- but sir, you can’t just- there are no positions open!”
“Alright. You can have his job.”
This time, he did faint. Katara had to smother a chuckle before taking a deep breath and shaking her head. “You honor me, your majesty, but… I think it’s time for me to go home.”
He nodded, as if he’d expected nothing less of her.
The Earth King gave her his medallion and Ozai’s sword, and when Katara finally turned to go, she very nearly ran right into Zuko. “Oh! Zuko, I-”
“Katara-” he began, at the same time. They both broke off; Katara bit her lip, waiting for him to continue. He cleared his throat. “I, uh- you fight good. Well! Proficiently, you- you’re an excellent soldier.”
Their eyes met, but Katara was the first to look away, this time. “Oh. Thank you, Zuko. For everything.” And then she left, finding Koda and pulling herself into his saddle to begin the long journey home.
“You don’t meet a girl like that every dynasty,” the Earth King declared—sounding very much like he was calling Zuko an idiot.
 “Would you like to stay for dinner?” From a distance, Katara could hear Grandma Kanna’s voice, “Would you like to stay forever?!” Zuko laughed. “Dinner would be great.”
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pigletsbigmovie · 6 years
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i finished botw yesterday!!! and by that i mean i defeated ganon i didnt do all the shrines/side quests or anything lol
anyway the game is rly Good so here’s me spitting out my thoughts on it
the final boss was kind of anticlimactic? it was just.... too easy... it probably didnt take me more than 10 minutes at least thats how it felt like. the final form of ganon was rly cool tho.
also the fact that i hadnt planned on fighting ganon when i went to hyrule castle but then was like “WELP im here so might as well!” probably didnt help make the finale feel any less anticlimactic lol
ppl have said this before that the open world gameplay of botw makes it difficult to have a rly solid narrative which i agree with and i think this is one example of the freedom of the gameplay kind of hindering the pacing of the plot.... i dont think it’s Impossible to balance those things tho and i hope they figure it out for the next zelda game since im sure theyre keeping the open world gameplay. bc it’s Good. 
i also did the champions ballad dlc!! which was rly fun! i still wish we got to see more of how theyre relationship w/ link developed tho bc the dlc was kind of just individual looks into their personality which was coool but Please... i want that good found family content im dying
also i didnt occur to me that the photo you get from kass can be displayed in your house so when i got the cutscene with link hanging up the photo and he’s smiles looking up at it iiiim sooooo ;__________;
also in urbosa’s diary when she talks about how zelda, link, revali, and mipha are so young and how theyre hyrule’s future and that she and daruk hope to help them see that future ;_____; IM!!! EMO!!!! 
i understand that sometimes characters need to be Dead but also dont do this i’ll be Sad
and aaaaaalso daruk is so cool... and i wish his diary was less joke-y lol... like i feel like they couldve kept the part of his personality that’s simple and straightforward while also shedding light on the other aspects of his personality bc his diary is kind of just... food + also here’s how i met link! it’s basically him relaying stuff he sees happening but not much about himself
the gorons are a community that are very family-oriented! yknow with the whole brotherhood thing! and it’s reflected in daruk by him basically adopting link as an “official brother” and how willingly he is to die not just for his people but for all of hyrule... yes he’s a warrior but above all he’s a Protector and iDK I JUST THINK THAT’S SO COOL AND I WISH THEY DID MORE WITH THAT BUT WHATEVER!!!
same with mipha... i think she wouldve been a rly interesting foil to zelda... theyre both princesses w/ magic powers but while mipha is so beloved, zelda is kind of the opposite and thats rly interesting but she kind of just serves to be the tragic love interest.... i rly loved in her memory when she tells link “i will always protect you” like the wording of it is Active rather than Passive? her telling the Legendary Hero Who Seals The Darkness that she will protect him is rly cool... 
but then yknow... when you free vah ruta and she talks about how she’s happy to play the role of support and im just... guuuuhhh... thats very typical for characters like her idk. im just tired of characters like her who are relegated to supporting roles and dont have much more to their character other than being timid damsels in love w/ the hero
especially bc i see hints of her being so much More than that especially in her champion’s ballad memory but it’s not enough bc a lot of her character hinges on the fact that she’s in love with link and how sad it is that she died without expressing her love which is rly awkward bc we dont even know how link feels about her at all overall the character writing for the champions couldve been better.... but zelda’s characterization is Really Good. A+. and usually i care more about story than gameplay when it comes to video games but i think botw was the most fun ive ever had playing a video game so theres that one last complaint tho... why didnt link and zelda hug at the end..... please.... theyre Friends....
OH WAIT. at the end when zelda says she thinks the 100 years she spent fighting off ganon probably made her powers fade away.... and how, now, she can accept that and she smiles AND ;____; MY DAUGHTER!!! SHE’S FINALY HAPPY!! IT’S WHAT SHE DESERVES!!
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Anonymous said: Holy frick that is so encouraging and I needed that so much bc I literally visited my college to measure my dorm room and drove home in tears bc I panicked myself into a frenzy about whether or not everything leading me to this point has been a mistake and what if I fail and ruin my life before it even starts (I have since calmed down a little) so your encouragement was much needed & is much appreciated
I’m glad I could help <3 <3 <3 Good luck at school! I’m sure you’ll kick its ass
areverieofchaosdreams said: It's Fanfiction Writers Appreciation Day. So thank you for all your amazing stories!!!
Oh goodness I’m all a blushin :’)
Anonymous said: *HAPPY WRITER APPRECIATION DAY* Send this to someone whose talent has blown you away, who you'd like to encourage to keep on writing always, and who you'd like to thank for working their butt off to provide fandom members with breathtaking stories to consume! THANK YOU :D
Aw thank you!
Anonymous said: Hi! I Hope you're well! Do you still take fic requests? Because I really miss Colin Wilkes and I'd love to a story of him with your writing!
Unfortunately I don’t often take requests these days, but I’ll definitely keep Colin in mind!
dirtycherrypie said: hey! applying for WE for the R&D department (may or may not be aware of producing bat gadgets)
dirtycherrypie said: SHit forgot my name - Bea, at your service!
[Bruce Wayne voice] hired
tigers-and-weeds said: Literally just fell down the rabbit hole on your tumblr for the last 12-24 hours. I am in love with with you headcannons and fics! The angst feeds my soul... So I figured I would request: anything angsty with Dick and Damian please please please
Okay again I don’t usually take fic requests BUT I like me some angst so the odds that this will eventually happen.... are extremely high. I’ll try to remember to dedicate the next one to you :) And thank you!
math--ew said: I went on a little birthday vacation to california and I've never been to the beach before. I was bending down to grab a pretty shell and this huge wave knocked me face first into the sand. Like, five people saw and laghed but I got the shell so I guess it's a win win.
Duuuude back at Lake Michigan last month the same thing happened to me. I was taking care of my little sister and her five year old friend, so I was so busy making sure they were okay that the wave plowed me halfway across the beach
babybatbrat said: when i was in ap physics i once spent an entire study period in my physics teacher's room working on one problem. as far as i could tell i was doing all of the work correctly and had all the initial values right so i was racking my brain trying to figure out why i wasn't getting the right answer. the third time i went up to my teacher and asked for help he told me to start at the beginning and walk him through my process bc he couldn't tell why i was getting it wrong either (1)
babybatbrat said: (2) so i start the problem and explain how i got through all the values - "okay so the rod is 5 inches long and half of 5 is 3 and a half -" and i stopped there bc it occurred to me that 3.5 is not half of 5. "it's what?" My teacher asks. i put my head in my hands and stood there for a minute before picking up my work and walking to the back of the classroom while he laughed, bc i had just spent 45 minutes convinced that half of 5 was 3.5 and not, in fact, 2.5, and that was the only thing wrong
Honestly??? Relatable
babybatbrat said: One time i woke up at six in the morning to hear the neighbor's dog barking and instantly realized that meant my dog had jumped the fence, so i went racing outside and sprinted down the street to catch her. when i did i picked her up and turned around to go home and then saw my neighbor standing on their front porch, realized i was in only an oversized spiderman tshirt and snowman pajama shorts, holding a twenty pound labrador and thats how i met my new neighbors
Incredible...... 10/10.....
thrakaboom said: Not a funny story,but two days ago at comic con I met Tom King and he showed me a picture of his kids while he was signing my books
Well hey that’s pretty cool
Anonymous said: I adore your Tumblr. It was a wonderful way to get into the Batfamily fanbase; prior, I thought that there was only one Batman and a single Robin, dearie me was I wrong. And those stories you write, just great. The Headcanons are just as enjoyable. As for Batman, that has come to be a sibling enjoyment. Thank you for your contributions and existence!
!!!!!! Welcome to the crew!
frnkensteingrrrlz said: hey!!! i just went through ur reasons to be happy tag and!! i'm so so happy bc of it (esp the damian hcs, they're spot on imo and he's my favourite) so i hope u have a good day!!!
Thanks! I am having a good day today! Although I’m sure it’s been a long time since you sent this :////
Anonymous said: HELLO I have just discovered and binge-read all of your fics with my homeboy Damian in them, and just wanted to pop by and say that I love you & you are my hero & you write my boy so well so thank u and I hope your life is blessed & you achieve your wildest hopes & dreams
My day is made :D
badfaith00 said: Best batman storyline you've ever read ?
Ooooooh hm I’m mighty attached to n52 Batman and Robin? Particularly the first storyline, but the second is also fantastic
Anonymous said: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHAMELESSLY REBLOGGING YOUR OWN WORK BC I HADNT SEEN IT BEFORE AND ITS HONESTLY SO PHENOMENAL ITS GOING ON MY LIST OF ALL TIME FAVORITES THANK U AND BLESS U
THANK YOU!!! THAT ONE IS MY FAVORITE AND I AM VERY PROUD OF IT
onwardmotley said: In today's Detective Comics someone finally told Bruce and co that Tim's alive. They didn't explain where he is, or how to get him back, but hey. It might've had more impact if anyone was seen actually mourning Tim and it wasn't just played as him being in cosmic time out, but at least it should end soon idk. Hopefully.
Tim Drake? It’s been years since I heard that name.....
Finally. Thank goodness.
Anonymous said: Idk if I prefer your soul crushing angst or your heartwarming fluff... actually I like to suffer so I'll stay with angst lol
Y’all seeing this? Anon gave me permission. Can’t yell at me next time because it won't be my fault (thanks babe :))
Anonymous said: for music, idk what kind of music u like so here is variety: St. Vincent - Paris is Burning, Sea Wolf - Dear Fellow Traveler (tbh everything by Sea Wolf is great), Dirt Poor Robins - Eleanor Rigby, Between Wind and Water- HAEL, Ellem - Kings and Queens and Vagabonds, The Rigs - Rise & Fall, Tally Hall - Light and Night, and Streetlight Manifesto - The Hands that Thieve.
Thank you! I’m excited to listen to these! I’ll start right now!
Anonymous said: 1) What are the good comics to read for Batfamily stuff (from any point in time) and 2) what are the best Jason Todd comics? Thanks!
Okay for Jason I would definitely start with the big ones, which are A Death In the Family and Under the Red Hood. After that you could try Red Hood: the Lost Days and Countdown to Final Crisis. I would avoid the n52 series until you have a good enough grasp of the character to recognize bad writing when you see it. 
For the generalized batfam.... that’s pretty broad. My personal favorites are Red Robin, Batgirl (2009), and both B&R series. If you have more specific questions, you should IM me! I promise I’m better about answering those than asks
yellowwallsbluesky said: Have you heard Swooner by The Zolas? I've really been jamming to it lately
Listening to it right now! Sounds like a bop so far :)
Anonymous said: Hidden citizens paint it black 💜
Much obliged!
Anonymous said: Harry styles "sign of the times".
[adds to list] thank you!
neo669 said: I MISS CASA OLE!! Sorry just read that you lived in Bryan/College Station and I used to live there as well. It's kinda hard to find people that even know that it exists. But I'm sure you can kick law schools butt. You got this!
Yooooooo I miss cstat too :((((
palliddark said: Adalgiza, and I'll be a translator (English to Brazilian Portuguese)
[Bruce Wayne voice] also hired
maeofthedead said: I love your headcannons and now I sort of want to cry thank
Excellent that is the exact target response 
Anonymous said: Love your rant in the tags about the pizza making I'm laughing so hard
Listen..... I have strong feelings
Anonymous said: Did you hear they're making an omnibus of Tomasi's entire run on Batman & Robin?? I just heard and now I kinda want to get this massive book in honor of my favorite batkid and the series that made me love him so much
Man I already have all the individual volumes but if I didn’t......
sonicboom00724601 said: Hi. :) Nice headcanon. :)
I’m not sure which one you’re talking about, but thank you! You're real sweet
Anonymous said: can you maybe write an interaction between Wonder Woman and Captain America? I absolutely adore your style and would love to see your take on it.
Hmmmm I don’t really have a good enough grasp of Captain America’s characterization to try that one :////
Anonymous said: i tried to kill on mosquito that was on my ceiling by slamming it with a book but mosquito was on the move so i bounced swiftly and jammed both my wrist and thumb and now my existence is Pain. also my thumbs swelling and looks purple, so that's nice
Oh shit anon you good???
daziy said: Do we know who Barbara's mother usually is?
Yeah! In her original version, Babs had a birth mom and an adopted mom. She was originally Jim’s niece, so her birth mom’s name was Thelma Gordon. After the adoption, her parents were Jim and Barbara Gordon, with her adopted mother being her namesake. So two Barbara Gordons.
I think for awhile the canon was that her mother died in a car crash, but the current version has her still alive. She left Jim when Babs was young, taking her son (Babs’s brother) with her. James Gordon (the son) turned out to be a serial killer. 
Barbara Gordon Sr. and James Gordon Jr. both appeared in the n52 Batgirl series during the Death of the Family arc. There’s also a very good story about James from the Dickbats period. That one’s called The Black Mirror, if I’m not mistaken?
Anonymous said: Hi! What do you think of the upcoming metal event? Dick and Damian seem to have a big role in it ( I hope Jason is involved too but there's still no sign of it)
Hmmmm I don’t know that I have an opinion just yet, but as always, I hope to be pleasantly surprised 
Anonymous said: bless you are your wonderful tagging system. know that i may have avoided death because of how easy it was to f ind the thing I wanted in your tags. bless
Oh goodness anon I hope you’re not serious about almost dying.... but thanks?
Anonymous said: hi amy! would u say that damians narrative is written as a child abuse one? like there are definitely many allusions to it but its also not as explicit as say, cassandra or rose. like how much of it would u chalk up to comic world dynamics and how much to actual abuse? also would u consider jason to also be a case of this?
Oh I have very strong opinions about the role of abuse in Damian’s narrative. It’s absolutely there, and the effects are staggeringly large. There is no doubt in my mind that the league was an abusive environment, and I can’t justify some of the things Bruce did either.
I think I would say the same thing for Jason, if not quite as strongly. I definitely think that some of the things that happened to Jason as a child shaped his story later on, but less of those were abuse than outside circumstances. The n52 takes a different track on that one, I think, but I don’t put much stock in that characterization. 
Anonymous said: has jason forgiven bruce for not killing joker? if so, what made him?
Unlikely. They get along better these days, but I would argue that comes from poor characterization of Bruce, not an actual resolution process. 
mellenabrave said: My mom accidentlly threw my Damian doll away (╥_╥)
Tossed in the garbage by yet another parent--
Anonymous said: Whoa where'd you get that bat and oracle shirt you're wearing in your necklace pic? It's so cool! (The necklace is also gorgeous!)
Shoot I think it was from Redbubble? But I can’t find it now
Anonymous said: Omg that necklace was so cool!!! Kudos to the maker of it!! Also I really like your top!!
Thank you <3
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swampgallows · 7 years
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pride month questionnaire just for my own reference
what is your sexuality? biromantic asexual
what do gender do you identify as? cis woman 
how long have you been aware of your sexuality/gender? around 16-17 i knew there was some shit wrong w me lmao, i had always just assumed i was straight but if we’re being real i knew from a pretty young age that i was broken and an alien. only ever had a few crushes [on guys] in my life but generally felt the same way about both men and women
do you have any preferences? big
share a positive memory about coming out! none
how do you feel about pride month? is good. isnt really “for me” but i will keep the glow i feel about it on the inside, like when i wear a favorite pair of underwear
do you participate in pride related events? any other events? no, though i was invited a few times it was by very sexual people who also drink alcohol so it wasnt really my kinda deal. much as i love sk i didnt really care for ladykiller’s sets
how do you feel about lgbtq roles in media? more, more written by lgbtqia people, less about dying and more about living ffs. let them be alive. let them be professional but also lgbtqia, let them be three-dimensional fully fleshed out characters who are also lgbtqia instead of being one-note cardboard cut-outs erected for Diversity
do you feel pride in who you are? not yet.
who has been your supportive idols in your self discovery? lmao
tell us about your first crush? despite kissing and being in a relationship with and having sex with a girl it didnt occur to me that i might be a lil gay until years later when i had a crush on undyne and she had a crush on a girl who became her girlfriend, and i was like “holy shit, you can do that? undyne likes girls? she likes a girl???? that means???? she could like me???? i could also.... like girls???? girls can be girlfriends???”
what sort of advice to have you lgbtq teens? i have no idea, im 27 and i still feel like a teen, do not ask me things 
have you come out to friends and family? sort of. i tried to tell my siblings and my sister said I just hadnt met the right person yet, to which i asked her “oh well youre bi too, you know, you just havent met the right woman yet” stupid fucking bitch. my brother was silent. so was my mother. my dad doesn’t know, i dont think. he asked me “what does this mean, ‘tracer is gay tracer is gay tracer is gay’?” but the conversation got derailed luckily before i could answer
how do you feel about the term “coming out” ? not really up to me i guess. i only use it because i dont really know another term for it
do you believe there is a “closet” to come out of? sort of, i guess. people dont fucking care about asexuality; they complain that “nobody cares that you’re not having sex, theres no need to talk about it” then when i say something like “well im not really a sexual person” or “i dont like sex” all of a sudden it’s “WHAT WHY ARENT YOU HAVING SEX??? WERE YOU RAPED? YOU SHOULD SEE A THERAPIST. HAVE YOU TRIED SEX TOYS?” - my doctor  So like yeah just saying the word “asexual” gets people really fucking riled up, i have to decide whether or not i want to engage in a fucking hour long debate and reveal my traumas and life story if i feel like even saying my orientation so w/e, that’s the closest kind of a closet i can have i guess. granted im not gonna be gunned down in the street for being asexual but i also dont like being incessantly interrogated and armchair pathologized either
any tips on coming out? no. i never really came out to my parents deliberately, my mom just snooped some shit on my facebook and cornered me w a question about it when i was stuck in the car with her
what’s your biggest pet peeve when it comes to lgbtq characterization in media? stop fucking killing them and making them the butt of jokes
what’s your favorite parts of lgbtq characterization in media? “well at least they’re there, i guess”; alternatively, when done well: “that me”
what did your teachers say about the lgbtqa community in school? i have very little recollection. it was mostly about gay men, i dont recall anything on lesbians, and i remember like one time we had a transgender person (calling themselves transsexual, at the time) come and talk to us, but i didn’t even know it was a thing that could be done or even existed so i had no idea what to make of it. but i remember they were there and spoke to us, even now. i basically just remember it happening lol
do you practice safe sex with the same gender? we didnt use dental dams or whatever, and since we didnt use toys we didnt use condoms. i mean i guess it was pretty safe, we were both monogamous and unsexed to all fuck. we washed our hands i guess?
what’s an absolute turn off for you in the opposite/same gender? this is too weird of a question for me to answer. im pretty demi when it comes to romantic shit, i dont feel attraction to people at all really, though i have felt attraction to people i dont know it’s extremely few and far between. like this year i saw two (2) girls i found attractive, not in a sexual way but i thought they were iridescent beings comprised of pure light and couldnt take my eyes off of them. before that i cant even remember the last time somebody stopped me in my tracks or gave me butterflies. i dunno if i have any real active ‘turn-offs’ aside from basic shit (racism, sexism, general shittiness) other than like... sports, i guess. sports and drugs
what’s an absolute turn on for you in the opposite/same gender? big. soft, hug. hairy boys. hairy girls are fine too but it’s more prominently a thing in guys. cool teeth (if you have cool teeth i will remember you)
how do you feel about lgbtq clubs/apps/websites? not for me
how do you feel about the term “queer” ? use it if you like, but respect those that it hurts
how does your country view the lgbtq community? america a fuck
favorite lgbtq actor/actress? fuck dude i dont even have a favorite straight actor or actress
any tips for heterosexual and/or cisgender people on how to handle lgbtq events/news? 1. it’s not for you 2. be proud for them 3. LISTEN TO THEM. SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND JUST LISTEN
what’s the most annoying question you have ever gotten? literally any time i tell a man im ace and he wants to fuck me, like, anything he says after that point is the worst thing
how do you feel about receiving questions about your sexuality/gender im open to answering but i can only speak from my own individual experience, which is a disclaimer i try to give any time anybody asks me shit. im not the best representative for the bi or ace communities or anything lgbtqia in general. i dont like sex and i barely like people. leave me w my monsters
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