#and then 26 april 2018 i made one of the worst mistakes of my life and began a relationship w my ex who abused me mentally physically and | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tellemreen-blog · 4 years

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"My 2019 in Review: The Triumphs, The Obstacles, and The Lessons"

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. This quote was stated by Nelson Mandela. In every individual's life, there comes a point in time where an unforgettable event will occur. Whether it is positive or negative, it may vary on the situation, but it is something that will be remembered forever.

February 1, 2019. I can still remember this day like it just happened yesterday. I joined the pageant for our school activity, particularly for English Fest 2019. Honestly, I really don't want to join the pageant because I'm afraid to speak and stand in front of the crowd. But with the help and support of my friends, teachers, and classmates, I was able to gain a huge piece of confidence in myself and gain valuable lessons in life. Overall, it truly isn’t all about the competition and winning the crown, it’s about being yourself, making the most of the experience, and creating friendships and memories that you’ll remember forever.

April 16, 2019, we celebrated our year-end party. It seemed like everyone was excited for that day, except me. I am still undecided where to attend, should I go to my bestfriend's 18th birthday or will attend to our section's farewell party? Then I asked my bestfriend if its fine with her that I will attend our class party. Luckily, my bestfriend understands that I also want to spend my time with my classmates and friends in that day. The important thing is that, no one got hurt in my decision and next time I need to decide ahead of time so that no one else will be affected.

May 7, 2019, my 18th birthday. My former classmates, aunts, uncles, and cousins came to celebrate with me. After my fun celebration, my friends invited me to attend Nhiezer's debut. At first, my mother didn't agree, but with the help of my friends, they convinced her to let me come with them. We enjoyed the party, but we disobeyed my mother's order, which is not to drink alcohol. That was the first time that I became drunk. After that, in the morning, I realized and regret what embarrassment I did the last night. This experience taught me that we should be very careful with our actions, once your parents let you do what you want, never break their trust by doing unacceptable things. This maybe a bad experience, but I also consider it as a lesson that will never be forgotten.

May 13, 2019, Rhocel's 18th birthday. This day was very remarkable for me, for the reason that our 10-A batch 2017-2018 reunited once again. Even though we separated for a long time, our love and bond for each other still remain. It is like a small reunion for our batch. This whole experience of going back to this joyous reunion with people who knew me, hearing everyone’s stories, supporting each other, and sharing tears and laughter makes me want to be a better person. I want to make the most of my time on this Earth.

September 3-8, 2019, Notre Dame day. This was my last NDday for 14 years staying at this school. It feels good to be in the last year but at the same time this thought scares me too. It's sad to think that it was my last NDday performance, but at least my last performance was not a waste because we won and declared as overall champion. All of our hardworks and efforts are worth it. It's sad that these days will never come back again and all the fun we had, soon will be called as the unforgettable memories of school life, which I will miss the most.

September 23-26, 2019, our retreat. This was the most awaited moment for all graduating students. All of us seemed to be very excited for our retreat. I am expecting that it would be very fun, but it wasn't. Many things happened during these days, at first, it was fun but we did something that is against the rule, and that causes a big dissapointment to our adviser, and other teachers, as well as to our school. My expectation was way too far from the reality. Many unexpected things happened, and I can say that this was the worst retreat ever, that's why my selfishness prevailed and that was my mistake. I didn't understand the situation and became selfish.

In general, my 2019 was like a rollercoaster ride. Even though I did not mention all the activities that happend in my 2019, all of those memories will always remain in my heart and will never be forgotten. Life is full of moments of joy, pleasure, success and comfort punctuated by misery, defeat, failures and problems. It taught me many things and made me the person who I am right now. This year taught me to become a strong person and mold me for who I am right now.

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gritandgrace40 · 2 years

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Increase Our Faith

FAITH SEPTEMBER 18, 2019

By Brittany Witkowski

Guest Contributor

I recently had a pivotal moment in my view of God, specifically regarding my faith. I’ve been married to my husband for about three years now. One particular area of our marriage that we have grown in dramatically is the stewardship of our finances. Financial unity as a newly married couple (and let’s be honest, any married couple) can be challenging and messy, but we were determined to make it a strong and healthy aspect of our marriage. For the first two years we were married, I was a full-time teacher at a public school and my husband held management roles for a couple different companies. We made a decent enough living where we were never that close to being worried about paying bills or not having food on the table, and we worked hard to pay off a portion of the debt we had both brought into our marriage.

Fast forward to the past year or so, and honestly the toughest so far in my life. It’s been full of hard transitions that have challenged my faith, my identity, and our marriage. In July 2017, I found out I was pregnant with our first child, due April 2018. My job was extremely rough on me mentally, physically, and emotionally, and I took this opportunity to quit teaching after he was born, with plans to be a stay at home mom. I was more than ready to no longer teach in a formal setting like the previous five years of my life, and we wanted to make it work financially with me occasionally picking up work from home as I could. But God had other plans, and the summer after our son was born, I interviewed for a part-time teaching position at a small Lutheran school and started teaching again the following 2018-2019 school year. Aside from being new to motherhood and starting a new job, we also bought a fixer upper, renovated, and moved to a new town and community during that year.

With that season mostly (and recently) behind us, the pivotal moment in my faith began when I received two notices from our bank in one day. One letter notified us of late fees on our car payment. This was a mistake on my part and easily rectified, but no less frustrating. The second notified us that we had overdrawn that particular account. It wasn’t our primary account and it wasn’t that we were totally out of money, but it was a glaring reminder that our finances were strained, and “excess” would not be the word I’d choose to describe our budget. It was scary. I was already feeling a bit guilty for some of our spending and worrying about the next several months because I’m now pregnant with our second child (due December 2019). A bulk of the prenatal appointments and subsequent delivery will be completely out of pocket until we meet our deductible, which is a pretty large number for us and since I only teach part time, I won’t get paid during my maternity leave. I’ve been so worried about making ends meet in the coming months and kicking myself, wishing we had done more to be prepared. I don’t need to go into more detail here, but unless you have always had plenty of money and exercised perfect stewardship of that money, you probably know the feelings I had when I stared at both letters. My stomach sank and I was hit with renewed anxiety, guilt, shame, and fear that I had been ignoring for some time. I was feeling guilty for areas we hadn’t stewarded our money as well as we could have and frustrated with God, feeling like things just seemed unfair and that he should be making things easier on us (*insert eyeroll here*). It’s incredible how one piece of paper can both immobilize you AND bring out your worst.

As I’ve reflected over this day, there are a couple of verses in the Bible that stand out to me regarding faith. First, Jesus’s words to his disciples in Matthew 8:26 when they thought they might drown during a storm. “You of little faith,” Jesus said, “Why are you so afraid?” He then miraculously rebuked the storm and the sky and waters settled into perfection. There’s also Matthew 17:20. Jesus’s disciples tried but weren’t able to heal a young boy possessed by a demon. Jesus strongly rebukes their faithlessness and when they asked why they weren’t able to expel the demon themselves, Jesus replied, “because you have so little faith.” I don’t know about you, but if I heard Jesus say that directly to me, it would be like a knife in the heart.

Because of your little faith.

He also explained to the disciples that all they needed was the faith the size of a mustard seed and they could MOVE MOUNTAINS. He made it sound so simple. In fact, he seemed frustrated with the disciples’ lack of faith that wasn’t even the size of a mustard seed. It’s hard to wrap my mind around a kind of faith in God that is so strong and resolute that it could physically move something as permanent and unmoving as a mountain range.

My faith feels small, so we pray to God to give us faith. Stretch our faith. “Increase our faith!” as the disciples pleaded with Jesus in Luke 17:5. But what does that require on our part?

To get transparent, since I gave my life to Christ over ten years ago, I’ve struggled to have faith in the Lord in two specific areas of our humanity, the physical and practical. Essentially, it’s a faithlessness towards the Lord’s ability to physically heal and provide for our physical needs. There are countless passages in the Bible that clearly show God’s ability to heal and provide, so I’ve always felt guilty or like a “bad Christian” for not having faith that God would do either of those things. Just like the disciples in the Matthew passages, I can see God do something, yet still fail to believe. And instead of addressing my faithlessness with the Lord, I’ve swept my guilt, or skepticism I guess you could say, under the rug and turned to God and His gospel for other things I am confident He will do, because He always has, like provide wisdom, give inner peace, and bestow grace and mercy in other various areas of my life.

So, after I read over those two letters and quickly rectified what I could on the late payments to ease my mind a little, I chose to do something that I wish I could say I do more often in overwhelming moments like this. I opened my Bible and got on my knees, literally, to pray. I started with Philippians 4:6. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” It did not immediately alleviate my worry or fear, but I took the “supplication” seriously, and I kept praying and pouring out my feelings to the Lord. Eventually, I ended up in the notes app on my phone, where I keep different quotes, scripture verses, and songs I may want to refer back to.

There it was. Just one sentence from a recent podcast I’d listened to, yet it was packed with truth and a crucial reminder for me.

When we push the gospel out of one area of our lives, we don’t get to just keep it everywhere else.

Maggie Combs, Journeywoman Podcast

Read that again and really let it sink in.

If we don’t allow the gospel to work in ALL areas of our life, we are severely missing out on fully knowing the Lord. I have prayed, “increase my faith!” yet lived in the same belief systems I always have. I’ve chosen to believe that the gospel, the grace and mercy of God, reaches the more abstract and seemingly complicated areas of my life like my depression and desire for wisdom and peace in my life, but not the practical and physical, like the need for healing or, in this case, the concrete, undeniable need for money. Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” When I read that quote and as I meditate on Hebrews 11:1, it’s like these doors opened in my heart to a whole new world of possibilities. The possibility of seeing a side of the Lord I had NEVER seen or experienced before- His physical provision for our family (“assurance of things hoped for”) when I couldn’t see how in the world that would happen (“conviction of things not seen”). So many thoughts flooded my head and I was instantly grateful for the eye-opening work of the Holy Spirit. And, as is the work of the Lord, it had me considering if this season would be a season that I look back on in gratefulness and use as a witness to others to bring glory to God.

What areas of your life have you consciously (or subconsciously) pushed the gospel out because you haven’t believed God cares or is able move in that part of your life? How have you been limiting the work of the Lord in you or your friends and family because of your faithlessness? Although I do believe that God will do what He needs to do to get His work done here on earth, He asks us to be a part of the journey and grants us the special, precious privilege of knowing Him through the process. I don’t want to miss that or look back on a season with regret or, God forbid, bitterness because He “hasn’t provided.”

We should desire to see the Lord work in our lives, not just in ways He always has (or ways we’ve always allowed Him to), but in new ways that do stretch our faith. When I look at those scared, faithless disciples in Matthew, I also jump ahead to the book of Acts and see the fearless, confident disciples, and those that had also joined them in faith. The men that declared Christ to the Jews and Gentiles, preached of God’s grace, called for repentance, and healed people of their diseases and even demon possession. There are multiple counts of disciples getting thrown in jail, beaten to near death, and even martyred. The faith of the men and women in the book of Acts is the kind of faith that believes the Lord can do anything, as He shows and declares countless times in Scripture.

So, like the disciples, may we allow God to grow our faith in ALL areas of our lives. Yes, we should continue to pray for an increased faith, but also don’t miss the opportunity when God answers that prayer.

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walkonwalkonwithhopeinyourheart · 5 years

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Full translated interview from Nabil Fekir about his failed transfer to Liverpool. He talks about his knee and agent’s role in the failed transfer + more (Bilel Ghazi - L’Equipe) via /r/LiverpoolFC

Full translated interview from Nabil Fekir about his failed transfer to Liverpool. He talks about his knee and agent’s role in the failed transfer + more (Bilel Ghazi - L’Equipe)

The striker, who was transferred from Lyon to Betis this summer, turned the page on a complicated season after his aborted transferred at Liverpool.

Bilel Ghazi - L'Equipe

Last Tuesday, in Clairefontaine, Nabil Fekir [26 years old] was enthusiastic about the idea of confiding his happiness at having joined Betis and Liga this summer [for €20 million]. Where he scored two goals in the first three games.

In your first matches, you gave the impression that you had regained your vitality, in the game with or without a ball.

“I feel it too. I've done a lot of work. I feel fine. It's a different game from France, much more technical. That's a little more like me. I am humanely and athletically fulfilled. That's what matters. The Liga is a league that has always attracted me and I am now lucky enough to play in a family club. I have regained the fulfillment that I may have missed a little last year:

Did you feel that you did overstay by one year at Lyon?

“No, I didn't overstay. Lyon, it was the club that revealed me, that brought me everything. This is my life, my city. I have all my family and friends there. Last season was just different from the others. I didn't do the preparation like everyone else. Afterwards, I played below my level. However, Olympique Lyonnais has tried to hold you back by offering you the biggest contract in the club's history.

There were discussions and I was offered this extension. But the president knew of my wish to know something else. It was important for me to grow up as a man. He understood it, even though he tried to convince me otherwise. After that, he is a person who has always done everything possible to make me feel good, comfortable. We've always had a good relationship.

It seems as if your departure has freed you mentally.

It's true that sometimes I may have been thinking too much. I wasn't satisfied with myself. I wasn't decisive enough. That's one of the reasons why I was a little more closed. But I still felt good in Lyon. That wasn't why I was unhappy.

Did you find the criticism of you a little harsh? They're normal. I accept criticism and I don't close myself off from it. When a player is a world champion, you have to expect a lot from him. I know I wasn't at the expected level. But I also played well in some important matches. As against Chakhtior Donetsk or Manchester City in the Champions League.

Is this uneven season related to your aborted transfer to Liverpool?

It is a whole. We were coming out of an exceptional year, when we were crowned world champions. I came back a little late, at the beginning of August, just before the Championship. I was a father a second time. It was a different season. There were a lot of things. But it's not really the aborted transfer, because it's part of life. It was written that way.

Did it really have no impact on your benefits?

I tried not to pay attention to it. After that, yes, it surely affected my mind, affected me. Even if it was unconscious and I kept telling myself it was part of fate. But that's not what made me have an average season. Today, I still think about it sometimes. But without feeling regret.

To explain your aborted transfer to Liverpool, we were able to talk about the condition of your knee or the intervention of your relatives. Did that annoy you?

It touched me because there have been an incredible number of lies told about it. Everything that has been said about my family in particular. It hurt them. It hurt them. Like it hurt me... Especially when you know that what's on the air is not true. But when you are a good person in life, you always end up being happy and quiet. And I, today, am happy and quiet. Others are not well. We're not going to go into detail...

However, this episode still seems to be in your mind...

I follow quietly because what he said to himself is not the truth. The knee, it's fine. I had a medical check-up in Clairefontaine [French FA football training center]. It went successful quickly (laughs)! I haven't been told for a second about the knee. You were talking about President Aulas' proposal. If my knee was really in a critical situation, do you think he would have made me such a proposal?

But the worst thing is that some can claim that it is because of my family that the transfer did not take place, it is a lie... But you have to deal with it.

What is the truth then?

You want the truth? You should know that even I don't know it! I reassure you! I did my medical check-up and, after that, they decided not to make me sign. At one point, they wanted me to believe it was the knee. But there had to be an excuse while the additional medical tests at Clairefontaine were very clear... The knee, it's fine and I feel fine. The knee, it has nothing at all.

That upset you?

What may have annoyed me is that by trying to advance this pseudo physical concern, it may have burned me with other clubs that were potentially interested. While there are other players who have experienced the same injury as me and that hasn't prevented them from returning to a normal trajectory. But I don't have a grudge against Liverpool. I met them, our relations were excellent. They showed me that they really wanted me. But behind it, when you don't surround yourself with the right people, it hurts you.

So it would be related to your former agent, Jean-Pierre Bernès, in your opinion?

Maybe... Then, as I said, it's fate. But when, in negotiations, you are not informed of everything that is going on, it is not normal. We are a discreet family. And it's never good to want to divide a family. We went through all this like a little jolt. It was a dark moment in my career.

How do you feel about your former agent today?

In fact, when you have nothing good to say about someone, there's no point in talking. Otherwise I'm going to say things I'm going to regret. It wouldn't fit my education. He himself knows what's going on... Today, I have no more contact with him and I don't want any more, it's useless.

Do you also feel that you have made mistakes on your side?

I didn't surround myself with the right people. But honestly, I don't regret anything because even these mistakes have made me grow and progress.

Did that make you more suspicious?

Yes, with the experience and mistakes you make, you are forced to be more withdrawn and reserved. There are some detestable things in this world that bother me. Afterwards, we must not forget that before being a profession, playing football is a pleasure. And today, I am in Seville, where I feel soothed. Besides, it's a beautiful weather! (Smile.)

With Bernès, a consummate break Between Nabil Fekir and his former agent Jean-Pierre Bernès, the divorce is now over. Completed last April. The four years of collaboration between the two men seem to have shattered behind the scenes of the failed transfer from the French international to Liverpool in the summer of 2018. And everyone is blaming each other for this episode.

"He has to stop acting and think people are idiots," the agent says. "Everyone knows what happened. The transfer to Liverpool failed for two reasons. The first is his knee, even though the British leaders were willing to make an effort on this issue. The second is the emergence of a pseudo-lawyer from outside the file who requested that negotiations be restarted from the beginning at the time of signing. Between that episode and the medical check-up, Liverpool's leaders decided to drop the case."

Through his lawyer, Carlo Alberto Brusa, Jean Pierre Bernès recently brought an action against Nabil Fekir before the Marseille Regional Court. "This summon is linked to the premature termination of the agent's contract concluded between Mr Bernès and Nabil Fekir. Considering the fact that the player and his entourage have taken liberties in violation of contractual obligations and in particular in violation of the exclusivity clause," summarized Mr. Brusa.

https://www.lequipe.fr/Football/Article/Nabil-fekir-ex-ol-ca-m-a-fait-du-mal/1057463

Submitted September 10, 2019 at 03:43AM by M7plusoneequalsm8 via reddit https://ift.tt/2LpDNKP

#IFTTT #reddit #liverpoolfc #liverpool fc #lfc #ynwa

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itsmargotlaz · 6 years

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You’re 26? Time to throw you to the idiots of health insurance

Ok so becoming an adult and learning to navigate the many aspects of adult life is always a challenge. However, NEVER have I felt more like I’ve completely lost my mind than since March 1, 2018. I had no idea what a luxury being on your parents’ health insurance was. I’m not sure if I should write a standup routine on the subject or consider seeking additional therapy.

I’ve always been a complicated health specimen. I mean neurological disorder kind of does that. Also, born with a bladder defect that requires surgery when you’re 5. Oh and how about we throw in migraines, allergies, digestion problems that started when I got my gallbladder out at 25, bone density problems just to name a few. So I get it, I’m not the easiest person in the world when it comes to dealing with medical things, but still, there is no reason that health insurance should be this impossible to deal with.

No sooner do I get coverage of my own than I get a termination notice. Like my coverage was supposed to start March 1 and a few days before that I get a letter claiming my insurance is to be terminated April 1 because of ‘third party insurance’ Lots of phone calls with the State and the company and countless frustrated conversations with my parents(because no one offers a class on this stuff) and I think I’ve got it worked out. Fast forward a week, and oh look! Another termination letter because of this mystery third party health insurance which they won’t even name! Way more stress than should be legal and countless phone calls later I find out that no one ever informed me that I needed to get a letter of termination from my parents’ health insurance. Doesn’t matter they’d stopped covering me, I needed proof that I was never informed of...

Whelp, finally get said letter and get told ‘ok you’ll get coverage starting May 1.’ Then I’m just like sputtering nonsensically because what about the month of April? Oh because they insurance company made a mistake and I did everything right(while talking to some of the rudest least knowledgeable people there are) I’m going to be penalized because that’s insurance logic.

Month of April goes by and let me tell you this state insurance covers almost nothing so I have to rearrange a multitude of things from my physical to my teeth cleaning and many other things in between, but somehow I manage to survive the month.

It’s finally May 1 I have insurance!!!! ‘Due to blah blah blah we will not authorize this medication or this diagnostic test.’ Well turns out the medicine was my doctor’s fault. After contacting him 3 different ways in 1 day I’m still not sure if he’s done what he needs to do but I’m not the doctor I can’t control what he does or doesn’t do. I might just have to get on the phone and email and all that again. Diagnostic test still hasn’t gotten pre-approval to my knowledge. It was only supposed to be scheduled 2 weeks ago. A phone call I just remembered to add to my to do list because this test is important. It may explain why my bones have been a problem(by problem I mean I’ve broken both bones in my left arm, my left wrist 4 different times, my right clavicle, and a tooth). So yeah need to call that doctor because 2 weeks of radio silence is a strong indicator that something isn’t happening the way it should.

Now here’s my favorite. We all know it’s a terrible year for asthma and allergies. I’ve had to go to the ER 2 times in a month because it’s been so bad for me. Well today I get a letter from insurance company saying they are going to deny my allergy pill because it’s not ‘Medically Necessary’ ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... (This absolute dumbfounded disbelief could go on for infinite blog space but I’ll spare you) I’m dead serious the letter said my claim was being denied because they did not believe this medicine to be medically necessary.

I really want to know what planet the medical insurance people of the world live on. Clearly, this takes a level of stupid that is so moronic I don’t think Einstein could make sense of their logic. What I get from their logic is the following.

1+1=Turkey Legs

Super logical right? It appears what MIGHT be happening is that the medicine is now available over the counter so since ever insurance company ever is a cheapskate they just don’t want to cover it since I no longer need a prescription. It’s one thing to just be cheap, it’s another thing to try to reason your being a cheap person by straight out claiming that something that is clearly medically necessary isn’t. Just admit to being cheap, because until you do so I question what planet of morons you come from. If 1+1=Turkey Legs world hunger would be a thing of the past, but 1+1 DOES NOT=Turkey Legs so here we are with this 26 year old wishing she could have stayed forever 25 NOT because I’m afraid of getting old(people mistake me for 12 constantly. I’m thinking of starting a campaign for making Baby Face Syndrome a real thing) but because having to get my own health insurance has been the worst experience of adulthood yet!

Lots of love,

Margot

#SputteredNonsense NoMathGivesYouTurkeyLegs CanIGetPaidToBeThatStupid

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