#and then I got bullied so much for it that I retaught myself how to speak like 'normal' people

[freckleslikestars]

we can’t be together but let’s make the most of the night before we have to go our separate ways, maybe watch the stars as we talk about how we would have gotten married, how many kids we would have had, if the odds had been in our favor

For the angsty prompts again, but for Lily and Selden maybe 👉👈🥺

I absolutely love you for this prompt! I've been wanting to write something set around the Monte Carlo time for so long, but couldn't figure out what. And now, I have done it!

Also I am kind of slightly just a little bit tipsy so...😬

The other prompt you sent I have started, I just need to figure out where I am going with it.

Under the Stars

1300 words, Read here at AO3

‘I cannot turn up on their doorstep this late; Gwen would send news to Aunt Julia, and then it would not only be in Monte Carlo that I have no place to sleep. It is best everyone believe I resided in a hotel for the night,’ her voice was choked, cracking under the weight of her burden, ‘else...else I will be so far into disrepute that any prospects I do still cling onto are sure to be lost, and I cannot afford for that to happen.’

‘Then what will you do?’ he studied her as she put on a brave face, the subtle trembling of her body that betrayed her fear. Taking her arm in his own he guided her from the dining room, heart aching every time her step faltered.

‘I am sure I can find a secluded bench on which to sleep. The night is mild enough.’

‘No. Lily, I cannot allow this.’

She looked up at him, mask slipping, her face dissolving into a hopelessness that consumed her and threatened to drag him down with it, ‘what else would you have me do, Dear Lawrence?’

‘I...I...’ he searched desperately around him as if the answer would appear from thin air, ‘stay with me, Miss Bart. In my hotel room.’

‘I cannot, and you know it,’ she murmured, her mind already imagining it, the warmth of his body pressed into her side. She leant in closer to him, far closer than was appropriate, in an attempt to simulate the safety and comfort she imagined him giving her.

‘I am not propositioning you, Lily. It would be safer and spark far fewer rumours for me to sleep outside than for you. I will pass it off as having been to a casino after I walked you to your cab, and then having drunk too much.’

She looked up at him, aghast, ‘no. No, I will not let you sacrifice yourself for me.’

At an impasse, they continued on into the night, walking past bench after bench, Lily keeping a keen eye out for the most ideal for her to make camp on for the night. Finally they drew up to one secluded enough that she felt comfortable nobody would recognise her, whilst in the open enough that she perceived nobody would hurt her. Putting on the most cheerful voice she could muster, she untethered herself from her companion and sat, patting the bench and saying ‘yes, yes I think this will do quite well.’

‘Miss Bart, I must insist-‘

‘Stop, Lawrence. This is my only viable option. Now, if you will excuse me- what do you think you are doing?’

‘Sitting. That is, of course, what benches are for,’ he murmured, closing the gap between them again as he joined her, ‘and I will not let you stay out here alone.’

‘Very well,’ she muttered, trying not to sound as relieved as she was that he wasn’t abandoning her completely. She said no more, knowing if she did she might cry from how terrible it all was, and instead looked up to the stars. They shone so clearly in the dark blanket of night, and she felt she might float up into them, if only life amongst the stars was as peaceful as their steady twinkling promised.

‘I wish I could take you away from it all,’ Lawrence whispered, so quiet that she doubted for a moment he had said anything at all. ‘I wish you didn’t have to lead such a life.’

‘What a fruitless wish that is,’ she sighed. ‘I too wish it, though, despite knowing it can never happen.’

‘I’d marry you in a heartbeat if I knew it was what you wanted. If I knew I could make you happy I’d take you to the courthouse tomorrow. Or today, as it is now, I guess. I know I can never offer you enough, but we’d have a comfortable life. You would be safe and warm and would never go wanting.’

She was biting back tears, desperate for him not to see how much she yearned for such an impossibility of a future. For the life of her she could not remember why she resisted this man so, only that she must. She trembled and whether he took it as her being cold or not, he wrapped an arm around her, pulled her to him as if she were. She laid her head on his shoulder, looking out to the night sky with him, ‘tell me about our life together.’

‘We’d have a little house, out in the country. I’d move my practice to the outskirts of the city so I could commute more easily, and still be home in time for tea. I could never promise you a big house, but it would be enough, with bedrooms for the children, and perhaps a guestroom for visitors.’

‘Children?’

‘Mmhm. Two. Maybe three. You’d be hesitant of the idea at first, worry constantly when we discovered you were pregnant, because you fear change. But I would hold you and tell you how beautiful you were, and promise you that when we had our beautiful little baby to hold you would love them as much as I love you,’ his shoulder was wet from her tears, his own cheeks glistening too. ‘We’d have a little girl, first, I reckon. God, Lily, she’d be so beautiful. She’d have your eyes, and your nose, and such curly red hair. You’d never mistake her for anyone’s child but your own,’ his voice broke and he grit his teeth together to stifle a sob.

‘Go on.’

‘She’d be so soulful, Lily. So serious, but when she laughs, oh it would be the most wondrous sound. And then we’d give her a little brother. And he would grow up to be her protector, despite being younger. And we would teach them all about love, Lily. We’d show them the world, and we’d love them so, so much.’

‘You said three children. Tell me about the third?’

He chuckled through his tears, nodded and pressed a kiss to her forehead, ‘our third would be a surprise. She’d be a few years younger than her siblings, and she’d be an angel. She’d be quick to laugh and quick to love.’

‘A dog. We should have a dog, too. I always wanted a dog.’

‘Yes,’ he nodded, ‘we’d have a dog. Something big, to chase around the garden with the children, that will sleep in front of the fire in the winter, and protect you should I ever have to stay in town. Of course, you wanted a smaller dog at first, but this dog, the dog we have, you found as a puppy. He was the pup of the grounds keeper’s dog, the runt of the litter. Far more hassle than he was worth. But you were walking one day and ran into them, fell in love.’

She was quiet for a while before she murmured ‘if we were not us, Lawrence, it would be the most perfect life.’

‘But we are us.’

‘And we could never work.’

‘No,’ he lied, lapsing into silence as she settled further into his side, ‘if only the fates had aligned.’

She hummed sleepily, her hand finding his, twining their fingers together.

They sat, in the quiet of the night, each absorbed in their own fantasies, until he gazed up once more at the star-studded sky, ‘look, Lily. A falling star. You must make a wish.’ But when she didn’t respond he looked down to find her fast asleep on his shoulder and smiled sadly. He made a wish instead, not taking his eyes off her tear-stained face in the moonlight as he did so.

He stayed with her through the dark of night, keeping vigil and watching as the sky changed into the greying light of dawn until the first of the city woke up for their day.

#my writing #apparently drunk me just talks like it's the 1900s naturally #no joke I used to speak perfect queens english no contractions no slang nothing #because autistic #it was just one of the things I used to do. #and then I got bullied so much for it that I retaught myself how to speak like 'normal' people #but until like 2019 all of my writing was like that too #so no inflections or anything #I look back at it now and I'm just like...I can see why I did it but still #apparently drunk me just goes back to talking like that #yknow that bit in Miranda where when shes drunk she talks and acts like the queen? yeah same #house of mirth #lily bart #lawrence seldon #I grew up with a guy called Lawrence and every time I write HoM fic where Lily's moaning his name or something it pulls me right out of it #because I remeber this guy I grew up with who my friend still has a thing for #he was a pretty chill guy #but like with everyone else I grew up with the idea of him in any other light than the kid who licked a rock in year 4 #because we were learning about geology #is just weird #like he's probably a great guy and his partners real lucky probably but I just...ew #anyway #HoM #edith wharton #uhhh how else do I tag these things? #tumblr promps #brynstein #house of mirth fic #fanfic

[pleasinglytherandom]

Dedication to Mutou Yugi!

I don't think I have openly expressed how much I love his character, and honestly he needs some more love. (The rest of the other characters do too, like Anzu and Mai and Otogi and more!)

However, Yugi retaught something for me that I desperately needed to remember. And no, it's not the power of friendship. It is the power of kindness and forgiveness.

A little backstory for why this was important to me to remember: I had a person I could call a friend. We had a rough past, but we eventually got to a point where we could talk comfortably enough. But I messed up pretty bad one day, and even though she told me she forgived me initially, she took back her words and hasn't spoken to me since. I struggled with this for a long time and honestly have been happier without her presence, but there wasn't closure. I felt lied to about a lot of things, I couldn't forgive that. As much as I messed up, she did too. So I have been on the borderline for how I felt for a long time until recently.

Upon reading the manga (haven't finished it yet) and watching the anime, it finally hit me for a lot of what he did...no matter how cruel the person was, Yugi never hurt them. And if he was angered about something or needed to have an extra hand, Yami/Atem came out to do the bidding for him in his place (in most cases). He always did what was best and even tried to help them, as long they accepted it. He acted selflessly and genuinely wondered why others did what they did, even for some of the villains. Even at a disadvantage, he gave 1000% effort to fix something and never gave up.

His ability to put aside his pride and do what's best for everyone is what hit closest to home. Even if that person was beating him previously, he won't lay a hand on them. He is more apt to apologize and try to tell them how to feel better in a healthier way. Now he won't just let them have their way, but he still isn't going to deliberately cause harm to them out of spite.

And the results of those actions astound me...! Hell, most of his friend group is from people who were either bullies beforehand or was after his head in some way (even if it was an entirely different evil personality). He even earns Seto Kaiba's respect, which that within itself is a luxury that is difficult to find.

And you know what? He is happy and free from worry. He doesn't second guess his friends. He doesn't feel guilty about anything. He just...treasures what he has.

And that is something I forgot. When you forgive others, you also forgive yourself in turn. You forgive your own mistakes and learn from them, and promise to do better and to become better.

I eventually wrote a "note" stating all that for myself, and I have felt a weight off my shoulders since then. I feel like if I do ever talk to this person again, I can bravely and calmly say "it's okay". And I can mean it.

So yeah...I just wanted to share some love for Yugi. I hope I can meet the man himself that wrote this wonderful story and thank him personally someday.

#yugi mutou #ygo dm #yugi #share the love