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#and then dan and phil come walking in like hey it’s cool
qmorningcrew · 1 year
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dump all your ideas abt ur summer camp au i want to hear it
ahhhhhh first of all anon ily <333
here’s my ideas for the summer camp au so far :)
- it’s called quesadilla summer camp (im so creative lmao)
- the camp was created on an experiment. if it went well, they would implement the plans on a larger scale. (what’s the experiment? it’s assumed it has something to do with crossing the language barriers but no one actually specifies)
- all participants get college scholarships
- but the whole thing is really badly executed? like it just does not have the set up or functionality of a normal summer camp
- there’s just very little supervision or guidance
- the camp is run by some version of the duck, and they’re very uninvolved which leads cucurucho and zero to just Not Care.
- counselors are rubius, cucurucho, and the code entity
- the code entity goes by zero
- zero really doesn’t talk but they all learn pretty easy it’s how fucking awful of an idea it is to piss them off
- cucurucho and zero are they/it besties
- rubius is the same age/around the same age as the campers, cucurucho and zero are older
- sometimes one the campers walks into their cabin and sees an entirely new person in their cabin, which is normal. they switch cabins constantly
- the first week people just keep. randomly wandering off. “where’s wilbur?” two hours later wilbur walks out of the woods with a rock. (not even like a cool rock. it’s just a normal fucking rock)
- phil’s the mom friend. but he’s still a disaster. he’s just the only one with any shred of responsibility. he’s also just got an aura of trustworthiness that makes everyone trust him with their problems
- fit is just. so chill
- he also just? always has what you need? “yeah sorry it’s a bit hot in here, a screw that seemed important fell out of the fan earlier so we haven’t turned it on yet” “oh! i think it’s in here- nope screwdriver’s in the left pocket, where did you say the screw was?”
- dan just kinda disappears for a bit? cucurucho tells the campers he went on vacation but they don’t entirely believe them. dan comes back a little different.
- spreen is always either starting chaos or nowhere to be found
- quackity manages to keep putting himself in the middle of like every problem whether he’s involved or not
- however charlie pretty much is always involved
- luzu is had DID and arin is an alter
- luzu does know about arin but he was just diagnosed and is still figuring it all out
- roier flirts with everyone (except jaiden, he respects her boundaries)
- wilbur brought his guitar with him and sings at the campfire some nights
- charlie only joins in on the meme songs
- jaiden finds the most. random shit. “hey guys i found $20 stuck to the bottom of the picnic table with a piece of gum” “oh dude look! a patch of four leaf clovers!” “woah look at this cool bottle cap i just found!”
- maximus is a conspiracy theorist but in like a, hey this actually genuinely makes sense kind of way
- bad is terrified of spiders
- he saw one in the bathroom of his cabin and was completely moved in to a different cabin within seven minutes
- roier finds this hilarious
- foolish and vegetta are dating. no one knows how they got together or when they got together. if you ask either of them, you’ll get two completely different answers
- the brazilians join two-ish weeks in
- they all arrive together in a bus together and have already formed a Friendship on the journey there
- the bus was almost set ablaze 4-6 separate times (depends on your definition on separate)
- there is an extremely done cucurucho driving the bus
- forever sees phil and immediately turns to tell felps how that is the man of his dreams
- mike and pac are inseparable. they’re just kind of always within the vicinity of each other.
- cellbit, bad, foolish, and maximus attempt to take over the camp together. it doesn’t go as planned.
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asmutwriter · 1 year
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Welcome to the Freak Show (Part 22)
Eddie x Reader
WORD COUNT: 2868
From beginning / Previous / Next / Master List  
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WARNINGS: Season 4 spoilers, swearing, hickeys, making out, implied sex, blood (cuts herself by accident), blood tasting, anxiety
DISCLAIMERS
-  This is fiction. Please always talk to your partner before doing anything and make sure they are ok with what you are doing beforehand
You wake up. Looking over to see Eddie and Laura curled up together. You quietly get up. Going and grabbing your work clothes. You turn away from the couple, changing as quietly as you can. Turning back round you go over and grab a bowl of cereal. Laura coughs slightly. You smile and wave at her. She waves back. Standing up and grabbing her shirt and jeans. You politely look away as she also gets ready for work. You both have a silent bond over your breakfast. Somehow you have a great conversation considering neither of you say a word. But you do a lot of hand gestures and improvised sign language. A voice breaks the silence “Are my two favourite girls having a conversation without me?”
“You’re awake”
“Hey baby”
“Hey” he stretches, making his speak slightly slurred. He sits up. Grabbing his shirt from the floor and placing it on. “Ready for work?” you both nod. Heading to the car. You get in the back. Going to work you get in. Going and starting serving customers. 
A few hours pass. Eddie walks over to you during your lunch break. “Hey. I’m going to Laura’s tonight. I’ll be back tomorrow morning if that’s ok?” you nod “Again I’ll drop you off home first” you smile at him 
“Such a gentlemen. Now you go get your... you know. Fun time” he laughs.
After work he drops you off at home. Waving goodbye to them both you go over to the phone in your house. Dialling in the number “Hey this is Phil”
“Hey umm this is Elizabeth. I was wondering if Dan was there”
“One sec” you hear him yelling out. 
“Hey Elizabeth”
“Hey. I was wondering what you were doing this evening?”
“I was going to stay home and drink with the guys. Why?” you chuckle slightly
“My plans for tonight changed and I’m free. I was wondering if you’d want to meet but I get your busy with the boys”
“No. No no no. Shit. We can meet” you hear whispering on the other end. “So the guys have said that if you’d like you can come over. Phil says he has a beer spare for you” you chuckle
“Don’t mind me crashing your boys evening?”
“No. I mean it’s me, Phil, other Dan, Olivia and Emma. They’re my roommates”
“Oh cool. Still ok me crashing your evening?”
“Of course!” you chuckle “I’ll pick you up. Give me 20 minutes”
-
It’s been four hours. You got picked up and were now on your 2nd beer of the night. All of Dan’s roommates are lovely. You get on well with Emma. Both chatting and drinking. But they all end up saying goodnight when it get to 1am. Leaving you and Dan in the living room. He sits next to you. Taking a sip of his beer. You turn to face him, arm leaning on the back of the sofa “Thanks for letting me crash your night” he chuckles
“It’s ok. I’m glad you had a good time” you nod. He rests a hand on your thigh. Squeezing it slightly. You smile, leaning forward and kissing him quickly. Going back in for a more long and heated kiss. He smiles, placing both hands on your hips as you make out. You both pull away for air. Before you can regain it he leans and kisses your neck. Sucking harshly onto it you let out a small moan. He smiles. Continuing to lick and suck on your neck. He pulls away, running his finger over your now bruising skin. You tilt you head, fluttering your eyes shut. “So beautiful” you smile at the compliment. Feeling him kiss you again. His hand goes to your side “Do you want to come up to my room...?” you nod. Maybe a bit too enthusiastically. He chuckles. Kissing you quickly before standing up and pulling you up with him.
The next morning you wake up to him next to you. His eyes shut as he’s sleeping. You reach down and grab your shirt. Placing it over your body. As well as your trousers. He turns to face you “Your leaving?” he mumbles. You lie back down
“No. I was just getting dressed” he smiles, his hand going and tracing the hem of your shirt
“Think you should stay naked” you chuckle. 
“I do need to go though” you smile at him. Kissing him quickly before standing up. He leans and grabs his trousers and shirt
“I’ll give you a ride” you nod and smile at him. Going to his car you drive back to yours. “I’ll give you a ring, yeah?” you nod
“I’d like that” you smile at him. Getting out of the car and going over to your house. You wave goodbye to him before opening the door. You grab a towel, heading over to the showers. You get back and see that within the 20 minute shower you had Eddie got home as your car is parked next to your house. You go inside. “Hey” you smile at him.
“Oh hey. Nice shower?” you nod, your towel wrapped around your hair. He furrows his brows “Did you have someone over?”
“No. Why?”
“You have a hickey” he points to the mark on your neck. You feel your cheeks redden as you cover it with your hand “I assume you didn’t do it yourself”
“Shit...” he laughs “A couple of days ago I met this guy called Dan. Went round his and drunk with him and his roommates last night” he nods slowly.
“You going to meet him again?”
“Yeah but I’m waiting for him to ring me this time. Don’t want to seem desperate” he chuckles but nods. “When are you next seeing Laura?”
“This weekend” he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. You raise an eyebrow at him
“Ok what is it?”
“So this weekend is our 4 month anniversary. We are going to go away for the weekend together... Leaving early Friday and coming back late Sunday” you nod slightly. “Will you be ok?”
“Yeah. Yeah of course” he nods. You smile slightly at him as you remove the towel from your hair, hanging it up on a peg to let it dry “You’ll have a really good time. Just try not to miss me to much” he laughs, wrapping you up in a hug “Ew physical affection” you mock him as you also hug him. He rests his cheek on the top of your head. He takes your face with his hands, kissing your forehead “Where are you going for it?”
“Somewhere along the coast. Going to have a beach holiday” he grins at you “hopefully see some sharks”
“Please don’t get eaten by a shark”
“But that’s my plan. Have an amazing time away, then get bitten by a shark. Then come back here with shark powers”
“Shark powers?”
“Yeah! I don’t know what they’d be but I image breathing underwater. That’d be cool” you laugh
“Just make sure it isn’t a hammer head shark. You’ll be coming back here with a wonky head otherwise”
“Like this?” he pulls a funny face causing you to laugh more “Are you mocking my face?” you nod, covering your mouth as you laugh. He makes his face go back to normal. “So childish” he jokes at you, you lightly hit his shoulder. “Ooh be careful. Strong woman like you could break a small boy like me in half with those muscles”
“Ahh yes because I am very muscly” he nods, grinning at you. “So I’ve had a song in my head and I’m not saying I blame you but you did show the film to me”
“Oh god what is it?”
“’How do you solve a problem like Maria? Doodaleedo’” you laugh at his outbreak of singing. 
“It’s a great song and a great film!”
“I mean... It’s a good song and good film, great might be pushing it”
“You love it really” he rolls his eyes but smiles at you.
-
A couple of days pass. It’s the Thursday before Eddie leaves for the weekend. You’re both sat on your bed watching a film. You’re plates from dinner discarded on the floor and you’re cutting the ends off of strawberries. One for you, one for him. You get so distracted and engrossed in the film you don’t pay much attention to what you’re doing. Until you feel a sharp pain “Shit” you gasp out. Accidently cutting your thumb. You instinctively place it in your mouth to try and sooth the pain. He glances over at you as you pull it from your mouth. A small line of blood appears. 
“You ok?” his voice trails off as he notices the redness
“Yeah I’m just being an idiot” he nods. His eyes watching your thumb. “Are you-?” before you can say anything else he very slowly takes your hand. He brings yours thumb to his mouth, placing it onto his tongue. Letting out a sinful moan as he tastes the metallic fluid. You don’t say anything. You can’t. Your body is suddenly met with an overwhelming amount of joy as he sucks on your thumb. You shut your eyes and let out a small moan. You other hand wanting to hold onto something it finds his knee. Gripping onto it. He stops after a few minutes. Releasing your thumb with a popping noise. He kisses the palm of your hand. You open your eyes and look at him.
“Fuck... Fuck!” he looks at you. His hand going to his mouth, in shock of what he just did. “I am so sorry... I-I don’t know why I did that” your brain still feeling hazy, to filled with euphoria to process what happened. You shake your head, moving your eyes to look at him. He brings his hand up to your face, gently stroking the bone underneath your eye. You move into his hand, looking down at your thumb.
“Its...” you hold your hand up, showing him the now healed skin. 
“What the fuck...” he mutters to himself. You furrow your eyebrows. Grabbing the knife you very gently push it into your finger tip. Wincing at the pain as you break the skin. You hold your hand up to him
“Only if you’re comfortable with it” he doesn’t need telling twice to wrap his lips around your digit. Your hand gripping onto the knife to try and hold back a moan as you feel his tongue go over your sore finger. He pulls away, both of you looking at your hand in awe as the wound has disappeared. He keeps a hold of your hand. Gently brushing over where the wound was before he meets your eyes
“What... What happened?”
“I don’t know... You have superpowers I guess?”
“But how” he looks at your hand, confused. His eyes lighting up as he places his hand over his scar on his neck. “The upside down... fuck”
“Elaborate please?”
“I think” he runs a hand through his hair “I think when I came back. When I got bitten. I think I got some... powers. Healing others wounds must be it”
“What? Like a vampire?”
“Yeah... I guess like a vampire”
“Do you think you can turn into a bat and all that shit? Or is that too cliché” he shrugs
“I have noticed that my senses are better. I can walk over to the showers at night with no light” you nod. Leaning over you turn off the light in your room. Throwing a blanket over the TV to eliminate all light. Thankfully it had gotten dark outside so the room soon became very dark. 
“Experiment” you lift your hands up “How many fingers am I holding up?”
“None”
“Now?”
“Four. Three on your left, one on your right”
“Now”
“Nine. Four on your left, five on your right”
“Touch my hands” you hold your hand above your head, the other placing behind your body. With no hesitation he grabs both of your hands. Bringing them to the front. “Holy shit” you lean over and turn the lights back on. “What other things do vampires do?”
“Umm shapeshifting?”
“Turn into a bat then” he laughs before he scrunches his eyes. Clenching his fists together and holding his breath before he shakes his head. “What about telepathy? Tell me what I’m thinking”
“Oh wow my friend has superhuman powers” you laugh but shake your head
“I mean technically yes but also no. What word am I thinking of?” he leans forward slightly. His eyes locked with yours. 
“Lord... no! Yes! No! Cord. Something ‘ord’” you nod
“Sword”
“Fuck really?” he smiles as you nod “Shit. Shit I’m a vampire”
“You can still go outside and you’ve survived without needing to taste human blood so that’s good. You may not be a vampire as sorts. More like a necro creature. There are several kinds of undead creatures, vampire is just one of them”
“Did you really just get ‘necro from your daily vocabulary?”
“Yeah, and?”
“God you’re a nerd” you rolls your eyes
“Hypocrite” he chuckles, lying down on the bed
“I should sleep though. I may be an undead, sorry, a necro. But I still need my beauty sleep” he shouts his eyes and pulls the blanket up near him “Goodnight” you chuckle, leaning over and turning the TV off before the light. Then lying next to him
“Goodnight”
-
He leaves early the next morning. Saying goodbye to you before Laura picks him up. Thankfully you had shifts over the next couple of days so the absence of him wouldn’t be as noticeable then if you had to stay at home. You knew Eddie was staying at Laura’s on Sunday night, going in for work on Monday and coming back to yours Monday night. Monday morning came about, you got ready for work. Had a quick shower, breakfast and then headed off. You smile at Laura when you bump into her at work. “How was your weekend?” she looks at you, eyes you up and down and then walks off. You furrow your brows but before you can go and question her you hear a familiar voice in your ear
“Boo” he speaks. You turn around, Eddie smiling at you as you hug each other
“How was your weekend?”
“Oh it was amazing. We drank, ate, and swam. It was luxurious” you smile. Him telling you about it as you serve customers. “I hope you don’t mind if Laura comes back and stay the night tonight? Her parents are a bit pissed with her at the moment”
“Why?”
“They didn’t know we were going away this weekend and only found out yesterday”
“Oh. Yeah, of course she can stay. She’s always welcome” he smiles at you. Nudging you slightly before going and taking a tables order. 
After work you all go back to yours. Watching a film together before you make yourself comfy on your sofa. The couple staying on the bed. You all settle down. Falling asleep you suddenly get woken up by Laura. “Liz. Liz help” you come to, her eyes filled with panic. “He’s done this before but normally wakes up when I shake him. He’s really deep in this dream though and he seems... scared” you look over. Eddie curled up, eyes furrowed and a soft whimper leaving his scared frame. You sit up, going over and kneeling down by the bed. Gently placing your hand over his, squeezing it softly
“Eddie. Eddie it’s ok. You’re ok” one hand goes and starts to stroke his hair. Softly speaking to him as a way to bring him back to reality. He jumps awake, sitting up and looking at you as he moves away from your touch. Fear in his eyes as they scan yours “It’s me. It’s just me” you hold a hand out to him “you’re safe. I promise” he takes your hand in his. Pulling you up onto the bed and hugging you tightly. Hiding his face in the crook of your neck as he grips your hand. Your free arm going round him and hugging him tightly “I’ve got you” you stay like this for about 15 minutes. Hearing his breath get steadier. 
“Thank you...” you hear him whisper. You squeeze his hand, gently stroking his hair. You motion for Laura to come and sit next to you as you go to leave. He grabs your shirt, eyes looking into yours “No... No. Stay” you nod, moving over slightly so Eddie is in the middle of you and Laura. Squishing you against the wall. The whole time he grips onto your hand, facing you as he keeps scanning your face. A hand comes onto his arm as he lies on his side, a free hand coming and resting on top of his girlfriends. 
“We’ve got you” he half smiles at you. Bringing your hand up as he gently brushes his lips against the back of it. Shutting his eyes and letting sleep take over once again. You don’t sleep for the rest of the night, watching over him to help him if he has another nightmare. 
TAGS
@karma2223 @fknemily @sammararaven​​ @munson-fixation
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soft-jihoonie · 6 months
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Hi! I hope you’re doing well? I’m doing pretty alright myself, and I'm having lots of fun answering your reply to my ask 💓 Don’t worry, I understand! Life is pretty busy for me too (and I don’t always have wi-fi either) so no rush 💕 I just reached out to the admin to make sure that my ask arrived safely, since Tumblr really can’t be trusted hahah
I hope you got to spend your holiday in a good way! 💫
Oh, is that so? Still, I find that amazing - to be able to do it for such a long time and even moving to get to work with it… I’ve never met someone who does circus so I’m very impressed ✨ Do you still do circus related things at times or have you completely left it behind? Oh, and I’d love to hear you sing someday if you’r okay with it! ❣️ What songs do you like to sing?
You’re right, working and being a kpop fan takes way too much time so I can’t really focus on my other interests that well either 😅 When did you start writing fanfics, and what was the first fandom you wrote for? Do you have a favourite out of the ones you’ve written so far?
I like to read, draw, do cross stitch, bake, dance, take walks in the forest by my house, spend time with my pets, friends and family… but I’m a musician first and foremost, I play the violin 🎶 Can I ask about what you do at your jobs? (But it’s totally okay of you don’t want to answer that!)
Wow, that means we became exo-ls around the same time! What a coincidence 💖 And same here honestly hahah
Me too, he’s a lovely person and I simply can’t imagine exo without him 😣 I hope they get to see each other lots despite everything ❤️‍🩹Ahah wellJunmyeon caught my attention immediately, and he just keeps surprising me with how talented, dorky and kind he is 💗 I get what you mean! I was the same when I looked Vixx up, I thought I’d like Hongbin the most but then Leo appeared and I was doomed 😆💘
I see! Well it’s the same for me, I discover new groups every now and then but I’ll always return to exo in the end 🤍 Ooh, I also relate to being introverted! And the way you described him - soft yet grumpy? Sounds like a perfect catch hahah 💝 and he gets to produce so many songs too! That’s amazing ✨ I’ll definitely give going seventeen a watch then! Also I listened to q&a - it’s so upbeat and groovy! I really like it (and Unfair is such a cute song too agh) 🎵 Would you say that these songs represent your musical taste overall? 
I’ll do my best! 💞 Would you like me to use a theme or a prompt, or do you want me to come up with something completely on my own? I’m definitely open to both options!
💫 ~I wish you all the best until my next ask reaches you~ 💫
-🎅
Hey! first of all i wanted to say so so sorry for taking forever to answer this, this has been the craziest month for me, just non stop haha! I haven't done circus in a long time, I did pole dancing classes for a bit last year but stopped after getting too busy, I live super close to my old circus now so i'm considering restarting classes next year! I actually have a youtube with singing vids on, i haven't posted one in years but you can still watch vids on there https://www.youtube.com/c/SongsandSilks and i like to sing a mix of stuff but rn it's mostly songs from musicals!
I think I was like 15 when I first wrote a fanfic and it was for the dan and phil fandom haha! My fave fic i've wrote is a tie between #whipped and I Keep Falling For You!
Ooh a fellow cross stitcher! What pets do you have? Omg so cool, i always wanted to play violin as a kid haha, how long have you been playing? I work at a stationary store on the weekdays and then on the weekend I work for a car insurance company handling people notifying us of accidents
Haha i feel like always happens for me with groups, i'm like yeah that one's my bias and i'm basically never right haha
For definite, i love how soft and grumpy jihoon is, I feel bad I haven't kept track of the new seventeen comeback but i just have enough time for exo right now haha. Ahh i'm so glad you like Q&A and Unfair, sort of, I have a really varied music taste, like one minute i'll be listening to upbeat stuff and then it'll be pop punk, and then r&b haha, I just like music haha
I'm happy for you to use a theme, I know i'll love whatever you do!!
Also to answer your other ask, yes omg i saw yeol's new mv, i was like counting down the days to it coming out and then I was so hyped when chingu line was in the mv, literally had me grinning so much. I listen to the song at least once a day at this point
I hope you're doing well!!
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pjsforestkid · 3 years
Text
Dan and Phil are so nice constantly reminding us they’re pro fanwork. They’ve done it multiple times across their careers. It’s nice we have that to go oh hey they’re actually cool with this they said so most recently in this video or liveshow and I just think that’s neat
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non-binaryzombie · 3 years
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Can you write something where mc is jealous of hannah, after she was found cuz now she have all the attention?
Based on Jealousy by Olivia Rodrigo? thank you :>
𝔍𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔬𝔲𝔰𝔶
Summary: All your friends are so cool, you go out every night In your daddy's nice car, yeah, you're livin' the life Got a pretty face, a pretty boyfriend, too I wanna be you so bad and I don't even know you -Olivia Rodrigo
Characters: Reader x Jake x the group
Warnings: Angst, soft Phil (yes that's a warning), fluff, blood mention, language.
Word count: 2479
A/N: It took me a while, but here it is, Anon, that one has a happy ending, I swear :)
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(Most of my pics/gifs come from Pinterest, if I use a photo that belongs to you and you don't like it, please contact me and we'll take care of it)
It has been two weeks since Hannah was found, ever since then, the group seem to be forgotten who really made it possible, unfortunately, The Man Without a Face haven’t been found yet, but that’s not so bad as it seems, after all Hannah is safe and back home. But not everything is roses, you’ve been left the side for all of them, even Jessy, of course you understand that they are happy to have their friend back, but does it mean that they must forget about you? You have come to Duskwood to spend your birthday with your friends, but it looks like they forgot about it, all of them just so focus on Hannah, why now is everything about her? Hannah this, Hannah that, Hannah everything, its already getting on your nerves, you’ve been trying discreetly to remind them that today it’s your birthday, but every conversation ends up being about Hannah. At first you thought that it was just you being paranoid, but now, it is more than clear that they really forgot about your birthday.
“Hey Jessy, do you know what day it is?” you asked happily
“Of course, Hannah’s party is today! By the way, I must go, help Lilly with everything, see you later.” She said quickly leaving the Roger’s garage
“Wait, Jessy-” to late, she’s already gone, when you see Richy you smile again walking towards him “Hey Richy!” he looked at you with a smile
“Oh, hey Y/N! I really wanted to talk but I have to go and get ready to Hannah’s party, I’ll see you there, okay?” you forced a smile before leaving to go back in the motel, where you are staying, in the way you happen to bump into Dan, hopefully he’ll remember about your special day, won’t he?
“Hey, driver of the year!” he rolled his eyes
“Ha-ha, very funny, no time for jokes right now, Jessy called me I have to go see what they need to the party” now was your time to roll your eyes
“What, now you like Hannah?” you asked and he looked confuse at you
“I’ve never said that I didn’t liked her”
“But you’ve never said that you like either” you refuted
“Well, it doesn’t matter at all, I’m not doing it for her, I’m doing because Jessy and Lilly asked me to, but what is your problem with her after all?” you snorted
“Nothing, it just seems like everyone is working for her” Dan laughed
“Uhm, well, I have to go, see you around.” He left leaving you in the sidewalk, you just sighed before continuing your way, when you finally arrived the motel, you dropped yourself in the bed picking your phone to text your last hope, he would never forget about your birthday, at least, that’s what you thought. ‘Hey, Jake :>’ ‘Do you happen to have time right now?’ it didn’t take too long for him to come online ‘Sorry, Y/N, I’m with Lilly right now, I will talk to you later’ with Lilly? He’s in Duskwood? 'You’re in Duskwood?' no answer he just went offline again.
Now you are really bothered, he didn’t even think about telling you that he was in Duskwood? “I can't believe this. They fucking forgot my birthday.” you said to yourself before burying your face in the pillow, you ended up falling asleep.
When you finally woke up it was already around 8PM, you got up to take a shower, if your friends forgot about the day, you were more excited about, well, then fuck them! Go to party alone! Said and done, you got dressed, nothing fancy, just an oversized hoddie and jeans and then left on way to Aurora. If you really want a party, you know who can give you one, again, all your plans got down through the hole, Hannah’s party was happening at Aurora, you would have known that, if you were properly invited, what you weren’t, you grunted and made your way to the counter sitting down
“Whiskey, no ice” you said to Phil
“Wow, hold up there, I thought you didn’t drink?” he arched an eyebrow
“Yeah, that was when I was happy, just give me the whiskey” you said and he put his hands in the air surrendering, and giving you a glass and leaning on the counter
“I don’t know if you did noticed but your friends are here” he pointed with his head
“Oh don’t say Sherlock.” You rolled your eyes finishing the glass and making a sign for him to put another one
“Okay, really, what happened to you? You’re normally so happy and kind, now your acting like Dan” he said putting another one for you
“I’ll tell you what happened Phil, this motherfuckers right there, that I call ‘friends’ fucking forgot about my birthday” you said turning the glass “Another” you held out your glass
“Oh, little one, I don’t think you can take all this” he took the glass of your hand
“Phil, I’m frustrated, just let me have another one” you snorted, he sigh and put another one
“Just take it easy okay, I understand you’re mad, but why don’t you just talk to them?” he asked seeing you turn the glass in seconds
“It’s not just the birthday, they’ve been putting me aside ever since Hannah came back” you looked over your shoulder seeing them laughing, your eyes focused at someone in the group who you didn’t knew, a tall boy, black hair and blue eyes, wearing a black hoddie, you knew exactly who he was “Even Jake is here and he didn’t even cared about telling me” you looked at Phil again
“Look, I really think that you should talk to them, instead of just hating them from far” you gave him a fake smile
“Fine, give me another one” he looked at you worried
“I think you’ve had enough”
“You want me to go talk to them, don’t you? Then give another one and I’ll go” he rolled his eyes
“Fine” He filled your glass and you got up with it in hand.
“Hi there, besties” you said getting closer to their table
“Y/N, hi” Cleo said giving you a fake smiled that you ignored
“I’m sorry, I’m late, you know, I didn’t received a invite” you laughed
“Okay, I think you’re drunk” Dan said and you gasped
“Oh my god! You must be right, after all you’re and expert at being drunk, aren’t you?” he opened his mouth to give you a response but soon closed it
“Y/N this was kinda rude” Richy said shyly
“Oh I’m sorry I didn’t mean to offend mister ‘I have a crush in my friend's girlfriend’” you said taking a sip of your drink
“Y/N!” Jessy said loudly with red cheeks
“Oh, if the shoe fits wear it, you are also not that innocent, Jessy”
“Okay, enough, Y/N” that was Lilly’s time to speak
“No, it's not enough, you guys only cared about me when I was helping you out, now that you don’t need me anymore you push me aside, what a bunch of assholes” Hannah quickly got up
“Hey! That’s my friends you are talking about” you rolled your eyes getting closer to her
“Oh, shut up little miss perfect, if it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t even be here” you said finishing your dink and turning around
“You’re so fucking jealous, aren’t you?” she said making you stop and hold the glass tightly, maybe too much, because the next thing you heard was the glass broking, the pain that you were feeling in your hand wasn’t more then the one you were feeling in your chest, you turned around looking at her
“Jealous?” you laughed
“You don’t have nothing, you’re just trying to take my friends to feel better, so yeah, jealous” she says getting closer to you
“Oh yeah, all your friends are so cool, you go out every night, in your really nice car, yeah your living the life! You got a pretty face, pretty boyfriend too, I wanna be you so bad, and I don’t even know you.” you say looking straight into her eyes
“Y/N-” Thomas tried to say but you raised your hand stopping him without take your eyes away from Hannah
“All I see, is what I should be, happier, prettier, so yeah, I’m jealousy, fucking jealousy!” you finished turning around, you walk up to Phil handing a fifty dollar bill in his hand “Sorry about the glass” you said going out of the bar
“Y/N, wait, you’re bleeding!” he said but you ignored walking away.
You make your way back to the motel, looking at your hand while you try to take some of the glass that is on it
“Y/N!” you heard someone call but ignored it, not for much longer because you felt a hand and your arm making you turn around and face him “Did you really had to do that?” Jake asked angrily
“What day is it, Jake?” you asked looking into his eyes
“What does it matter?” he asked now confused
“What day?” you asked again “(your birthday date)?” you laughed in disbelief releasing your arm from his hand
“It’s my fucking birthday” you turned around and continued to walk, Jake stayed in the same place, 'did I really forgot about it?’ he thinks before going after you
“Y/N, wait!” he stopped in front of you “Look I’m sorry, I should have remembered, but you really needed to do what you did there?” you looked at him shocked, after letting out a small laugh
“It’s not just it, Jake, ever since you’ve got your sister back, you’ve been more and more distant, and not just you, every single one of you, guess you only liked me when I was useful to you, huh?” he blinked a few times
“Y/N, that’s not truth.”
“No? when was the last time we had a real conversation? Fuck, you- you didn’t even tell me that you were in Duskwood!” you said out loud pushing him away, bad choice, since your hand were still with some glass on it, and even if weren’t it wouldn’t make a difference, he didn't move an inch “Fuck!” you yelled shaking your hand from pain
“Look let’s go back to Aurora and take care of it, it looks really bad” he said trying to approach but you stepped back
“Don’t fucking touch me, I can take care of it myself” you tried to pass him but he didn’t allowed you to, sighing
“Y/N, please let’s talk properly” he said calm and you punched his arm with your good hand, another bad choice, how can he be so strong? He spends most of his time in front of the computer
“FUCK!” you yelled again
“Can you stop that? You’re going to hurt yourself even more” he said holding your wrist when you tried to hit him again
“Y/N, I said stop” he said and you snorted
“I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t even wanna see you, I’m getting out of here by the dawn, I’ve had enough of Duskwood” you say trying to get rid of him, keyword: trying.
“You’re staying at the motel of Ms. Walter, right?” you didn’t answer “I’ll take you there” he said releasing your wrist
“I don’t need company” you said quickly passing by him, but he was quicker at holding you by the hood of your sweatshirt, what almost made you fall, but he holded you before you do
“I didn’t asked if you wanted to” he said looking at you making your face turn red
“Fine, do whatever you want” you said walking with him right behind you.
When you finally arrived at the motel, you tried to close the door of your room at Jake's face, again, the keyword is: tried, he stopped the door with only one hand.
“Dude, really, how are you so strong? I mean, you’re a hacker.” he looked shocked for a few seconds
“I feel offended” he said putting a hand in his chest
“Good” you said looking for your med kit “found you” you whispered siting on the bed and Jake approached
“Let me help you” he says sitting next to you
“I don’t need help” you said and he rolled his eyes
“Do you always have to be so stubborn?” he said opening the med kit
“Yes” you said as he started to clean the wound, it didn’t take to long for him to finish and involve a bandage around your hand
“You’re also pretty strong, don’t you think?” he asked looking at you “You smashed a glass with a single hand.” he smiled at you and you giggled
“Yeah, I guess so” you paused “I’m sorry for ruining your sister’s party” he shake his head
“I’m sorry for forgetting about your birthday” he looked down and then looked up at you again “Did you really felt jealousy about Hannah?” he asked and you felt your eyes begin to fill with tears quickly looking away from him
“It’s getting late, you should go” you said
“Y/N” he called you holding your hand
“She’s everything I’m insecure about” you laughed in middle of your tears looking at him again “I know that she’s your sister but- fuck, she was in love with you, and by the way that she looks at you I feel like she still do, she is pretty, she is funnier, how can I don’t be jealous of her?” you said shaking your head
“I- I know things have been a little hard and weird lately, but, believe me I’m trying so hard to keep you with me, I’m not really an expert in dates you know, I don’t even know how I made you feel in love with me” you giggled wiping your tears “I can’t say it by the others, but, I’m not trying to push you away, actually I’m trying to keep you close, I didn’t told you that I was in Duskwood because I didn’t wanted you to come here, even though Hannah was found, that sick guy is still around here, I didn’t knew you were here either” he finished sighing
“I didn’t wanted you to be mad, that’s why I didn’t told you” you said playing with your fingers
“Well, you did not comprised your promise, but I’m not mad, I’m happy to see you” he smiled at you
“I’m happy to see you too, well that’s not exactly how I imagined it, but, it’s okay” you both giggled
“I love you, Y/N” he said your eyes widened and his face turned completely red
“What did you just said?” you asked with a smirk
“Nothing” he said looking away and you pulled him into a passionate kiss
“I love you too, computer guy”
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succubusphan · 2 years
Text
Taking a Break
Summary: Phil has a broken leg.
Tags/warnings: fluff, established relationship, hurt/comfort.
Rating: PG
Word count: 669
A/n: This fic was written for the Valentine's Day Im-PROMPT-u hosted by the @phandomreversebang. The prompts I used were "Break" and "Forever home." Please like, kudo, reblog and all that good stuff if you enjoyed it!
Read on ao3
Phil pouted as a cramp coursed through his incredibly itchy leg. He felt overwhelmed by… well - everything. The blanket texture, the inability to walk around or move much, how complicated showers were now and, above all, the fucking itch. Given the choice, he would probably bite his own leg off if it meant some relief from the itch.
He grabbed a sharpie from the nightstand and tried his best to shove it into his cast in a futile effort to scratch his leg but Dan walked in on him.
“Phil! I told you to stop that!” Dan pushed the door of their new bedroom with his foot and walked in with a tray with coffee and biscuits.
“I just can’t stand it!” Maybe he was being a bit over dramatic but he could feel his eyes welling up with tears.
“Hey,” Dan said. “I know, I know, but you are going to hurt yourself, ok?”
“Help?” Phil hated how small he sounded.
“Alright, let me do some googling and I’ll come back to help you. In the meantime, drink you coffee.” Dan dropped a noisy kiss to his pout.
“Thank you,” Phil said, attempting a smile.
Dan pressed another kiss to his lips. The random kisses were the only good side of being injured or sick. Dan always did it subconsciously.
Phil groaned and threw himself back on the bed. Of course he fell down the fucking stairs during the move. It was so like him to do something like that. At least they had designed the steps to be rounded to flow better with the rest of the concept. If Dan would’ve gotten his way, Phil would have broken even more bones, and he was in enough pain as it was.
He grabbed one of the biscuits and shoved it into his mouth, moaning at how good it was. The perfect amounts of butter and sugar, but still, he wasn’t happy. He scratched around the edge of the cast and it was somehow both better and worse.
“Aw, are you sad about your itchy leg?”
Phil nodded even though he knew Dan was partially mocking him.
“Google says that if we blow cool air between the cast and the leg, it should work.”
“With my luck, I would end up with a burnt leg.”
“I would be the one controlling the hair dryer,” Dan said, rolling his eyes. “First the glue, now this…”
Phil wrapped his arms around Dan. “I know, I can be a lot.”
“Yes, you can, but I think I can be more on most days, so it’s ok.” Dan buried his nose in Phil’s hair and smelled his shampoo.
“Are you saying we are that annoying couple?”
“Hmm, Definitely.”
Phil was not going to dignify that with an answer. “What are the other options?”
“Massage the area around the cast to improve circulation.”
He shook his head. “I’ve scratched it and it kind of hurts.”
Dan’s eyes softened. He climbed onto the bed and leaned down to press a kiss to his injured leg. “I’ll make you all better.”
“I’m not in the mood for that,” Phil said.
“I meant with the massage.” He grabbed Phil’s leg and propped it on one of the 20 cushions on their bed. Yes, it was too over the top but they had a chest to hide them from any visitors so where was the harm?” Dan finally put those huge hands to work and massaged his pale skin, giving him a sort of weird mix between please and pain; slowly working his way around the cast.
Phil groaned. At first it seemed like it hadn’t worked at all but the itch started to subside as blood returned to the area. “There, there.”
Dan snickered.
“Shut up.”
“Make me,” Dan said.
He grabbed Dan’s hoodie and dragged him to lay beside him, kissing him deeply. Alright, maybe he was in the mood, or maybe he was needy, but in any case, Dan was not complaining.
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natigail · 3 years
Conversation
Book pages delivery fiasco | 25.03.2021
Dan: I have one that happened to me, literally this week, which was... Have we told them this? Or have we just told everyone else that I know just trying to get it off my chest?
Phil: I think we told people that we know. It was completely our fault.
Dan: Let me work out how to say this, without it sounding horrible.
Phil: Say it nice!
Dan: Ehm, I was expecting a delivery of pages from my book that with some magical machine, I sign these pages, they go back to the book factory and they get printed in the book. So that the books have my signature in them. Pretty snazzy. So, I'm expecting this package, right? But I thought it was just going to get delivered by a DPD or something. And you know, the way that parcels work, they leave it outside of the door, some grumpy guy is like *grumble noises* parcel, and then you have to go "thank you" but you're not allowed to open the door and they get shouted at, if you like, whatever.
Phil: If you breathe on them.
Dan: Exactly. So all fine. Phil... didn't know that this was happening. So, I mean, do you want to say your part of it? Because it's kind of your fault that I got into this mess.
Phil: It's, it's my fault, right? Okay. This person came to the door and it was a nice lady but she just said: I've got your box. And I was like: What box? And she said: I've got your box.
Dan *pretending to be Phil*: Who the hell are you? What box?
Phil: I didn't realise that this person they had a bit of an accent. And they were ACTUALLY saying: I've got your BOOKS.
Dan: Oh, so you got that wrong.
Phil: *mimicking the accent* I've got your books, I've got your books. *back to normal* So I thought they were just a delivery driver with a box and they were saying it in a slightly weird way. So I was like-
Dan: So you were like: ... okay? Come deliver it then. *laughing*
Phil: Sure. So I said, because I don't like dealing with new humans so I said: Who's it for? And they said: It's for Dan. So I'm just like: Oh! Okay. So I buzz them in and then I say: Dan, someone's got a box for you.
Dan: Phil just went - Phil didn't give my any information - he just went: Dan, you've got a package.
Phil: Yeah.
Dan: And I was like: What? Why can't Phil answer the door? I was busy. I was doing things. Phil answered the buzzer, go pick it up at the door! So then I go, I have to deal with this happening. Phil tags out, he just goes into the bathroom or whatever.
Phil: Yeah.
Dan: I walk over to the front door and then someone just goes: Hey! And I'm like... what?
Phil: This is through the door.
Dan: Hello? Hello?! And I was like: Have you got the package? And then this nice lady went: Eh, oh, yes, yes! I've got them. And I went: Cool, just drop it on the floor, thank you! And then I just walked into the hallway and closed the door. Which is normal, if you're expecting a normal package. That was actually like the Head of Marketing from HarperCollins. *embarrassed laughter*. Who personally came to deliver the books and say hi and have a bit of a chitchat and say thank you and catch up. And basically Phil said: WHAT? BOOKS? Come in! And I went: Hi? Hello? What? Okay, drop them on the floor. Bye! And then just left. And then, eh, yeah... So whoops. Accidentally looked like we're the two weirdest and rudest people in the entire world ever. INNOCENT. COMPLETELY INNOCENT.
Phil: Yeah.
Dan: But when I think about that... CRINGE.
Phil: That's a cringe.
Dan: How do I explain this in an email? Oh my god. Oh my god, I'm so...
Phil: I think you've just got to remember it for the rest of your life.
Dan: I'm so embarrassing. What would you rate that for me? *laughing*.
Phil: I mean, that was pretty painful. I'd rate that equal to the T-rex, I'd give you a 7.
Dan: Okay, okay, well, let's see if the audience can make this any better.
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zmayadw · 3 years
Text
Hello to all :)
Time for the next part!
Wish you all a wonderful evening! :)
CALL OF THE RAVEN
PART 13
We continued enjoying our time, as Aurora got more crowded with people. At some point Cleo showed up, coming to say hi to us, as she was here to meet with Hannah and the others . She had one drink with us before going to sit with them, telling how she is bussy helping her mom at the Gates of Hope with redecorating and other stuff, but she hopes all will be done soon, so we can finaly meet in peace. As it got more crowded with people, Phil was busy and also didnt have much time to have fun with us. Jessy was in a quite good mood, joking and drinking, it was nice seeing her like that.The music playing was good. There was a mixture of everything, from 80's till present day. A song started and Jessy grabbed my hand „Ohhh, lets dance, Maya, i love this song!“ I had no chance to say anything, as Jessy lead me half way to the dance floor already. She started dancing, and i couldnt do anythign but join her. And we had fun. I needed this, i tought, just some simple fun with good friends. Dan joined us from time to time, showing off his killer dancing skills. Phil was passing by us few times, going to one of the booths or tables, always winking at me with that devilish grin of his. One of the times, as Jessy and me wer dancing Phil came from behind me, wraping his free hand arround my waist and squeezing agains me. We just moved with the rhythm of the music for a while, before he groaned at my ear „Arghh, as much as i would love to stay here with you gorgeous, but work is calling.“ I grined at him, as he let go of me slowely „Aww, next time then.“ As much as i liked it, i hoped Jake didnt see this. I wouldnt want him to get the wrong idea about Phil and me. I really wanted to know where i stand with him, but this noncomunication between us wasnt helping. Lily told me to be patient, but as i told Jessy, my patiance is running short. I leaned to Jessy telling her i need to go sit down for a while, and we returned at the bar. Dan and Thomas wer there talking, and both got up from the stools letting us sit as we came. Thomas smiled at us „You two really got it going on tonight.“ He turned to Dan saying teasingly „You better be careful,man, and keep her close to you“ He pointed at Jessy „They wer smoking hot on the floor, dont let someone steel her.“ Jessy grined at Thomas „Let him sweat a little, he might appriciate me more then.“ „Awww, babe, dont be cruel, you know i appriciate you.“ Dan told her, being dramatic as always, making a puppy face. „Ohh, shus it, you big goof, and lets dance.“ She told him, taking him by the hand to the dance floor. Thomas turned to me „So, can i presume all is good between Lily and you now?“ „I guess you can.“ I told him, and he smiled „Thats good to heare.“ A waiter came with two drinks, handing them to Thomas. „Guess then soon we can all get together again, without any drama.“ „Definatly!“ i said, smiling. He smiled back „Good. Well, have fun, Maya, see you arround.“ I waved at the waiter asking for a mineral water, i was really thursty from all the dancing. I checked my phone, it was after 3, and i noticed a missed call sign. I opened the call log, and when i saw it was another of those hidden numbers, my mood darkened all of a sudden. What is going on here, i touhgt, thess calls are starting to get me worried. Jessy and Dan returned from dancing, and i decided i had enough for the night. This thing shook me up good, and i doubted i could enjoy the evening anymore. I told Jessy i'd be going, to wich she protested a bit, but hugged me and said to call her for coffee any time im up for it. I took my things, waving them goodby. As i was near the entrance, i saw Phil, so i waved at him, he winked and made a phone gesture with his hand, suggesting we'll be talking soon.
As i left the Aurora, cool night air washed over me, so i put my jacket on. I got to my car,  just leaning on the side of it, my mind still thinking of those damn calls. They are starting to freak me out a bit, and that sinister feeling started to creep up to me again. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, when a voice said „Are you ok?“ I opened my eyes, seeing Jake standing infront of me. I managed to barely make a smile at him „Yeah, im fine.“ He was looking at me, those deep eyes scaning every inch of my face, like he knew what i said wasnt true. „Just tired, i guess.“ I added, giving him a bit bigger smile, wich seemed to make him belive me. He leaned on the car next to me, and we just stood there in silence for a while. I get restless every time im close to him, my hands itch to just grab him and pull him closer. „You look good, by the way.“ He said after a while, giving me a shy look. His words snaped me from my fantasizing, and  i smiled and winked at him „Thanks, glad you noticed.“ „Ofcourse i did, i do have eyes, you know.“ He said teasingly. I turned towards him making a gesture of bevilderment as i said „Oh my, he can joke!“ „I try my best.“ He said, smiling. Oh that beautiful smile, i tought again, making me smile, too. „You going back in?“ he asked. „No.“ I started „I'm actualy contemplating should i walk or drive back to the motel.“ „And how's that going for you?“ he asked, raising an eyebrow at me. „Well, considering im still standing here doing non of the above, i would say not good.“ I replied, sighing desperatly. He chuckled at me „Hmm, well, how about I drive you back to the motel?“ I looked at him surprised, not really expecting it „You would do that?“ He smiled shyly at me „I would“ pausing a bit, before adding „For you.“ My heart started beeting like crazy, and i could feel heet comming to my cheeks. This night really is interesting. „Umm, well, sure, i'd like that.“ I told him. „But, you dont mind walking back again?“ i asked. „No, its fine.“ „Alright then, lets go.“ I told him, taking my keys out of my purse handing them to him. Our palms touched as i gave him the keys, and our eyes met. He moved his hand slowly away, taking the key, giving me goosebumps. I barely glued myself of the car to let him get in. I got in myself as he started the car and we drow from the Auroras parking. It wouldnt take us long to the motel, and i wished the ride wasnt that short. I noticed he was driving slower then you would normaly drive, as if sharing my toughts himself. I felt nervous, my head was blank, i didnt know what to say. All of a sudden, a tought crossed my mind. „Hey, Jake, can i ask you something?“ „Sure.“ He said, sounding relieved the awkward silence got broken. „Well, i just tought, i havent had a chance to ask you before. Wern't you in some kind of trouble, if im not mistaken?“ i paused before continuing. „I mean, we never discussed it any further. And since you're here at Duskwood for quite some time now already, i was just wondering what's up with all that.“ „You're right“ he started, glancing shortly at me, focusing back on the road „Short version: lets say i made a deal with some people, making sure i'll be left at peace.“ „A deal“ i started „You didnt threaten anyone, or something like that?“ „What?“ he said, „Ofcourse not! What made you ask that?“ „Hey, its a legit question.“ I told him, rising my hands up. „You can understand why a tought like that might cross my mind.“ He was silent for a moment before saying „Ok, fair enough. But, no, i didnt threaten anyone, if that makes you feel better.“ „It does. I just dont want for things to get complex for you again.“ I said, adding after a little pause, my voice getting a bit sadder „Or you dissapearing again.“ He looked at me with such tenderness, slowing the drive even more now „Dont worry, Maya, i'm not going anywhere.“ I smiled at him „Good.“ He turned his head, focusing on the road again, and i realized we came at the motel. He parked close to my room. Neither of us was eager to leave the car, so we just sat there in silence for a moment. I had a felling he wanted to say something, but wasnt sure about it. I finaly managed to force myself to leave the car. I was about to pull the door handle, when Jake suddenly said „Wait.“ I turned towards him. „Can i ask you something now?“ „Sure“ i said, even tho i had a feeling i wouldnt really like the question. He got all nervouse, but finaly asked „You and Phil.. is there something happening?“ Oh,no,no,no, i tought, why he had to ask it. The night would end perfectly without this. I groaned pleadingly at him „Ugh, can we not talk about Phil now, please.“ „Why not?“ he asked, and i noticed his nervousness intensifing. „Because i dont know what to tell you, Jake.“ „How about the truth?“ he said. „I cant do that.“ He looked at me confused „Why not?“ „Because i myself dont know what the truth is.“ I groaned, leaving the car. He left the car, closing the door and walking over to me handing me the keys „What do you mean?“ „I mean, i'm a mess, Jake.“ I started „I dont know what to think any more. You want the truth? Fine. Yes, i like Phil, i cant denie it. We clicked, i feel good arround him, thats the truth.“  My words  stung him, and he barely managed to say „I see.“ He leaned with his back against the car, steadying himself. But i wasnt finished yet. „And then there's you, Jake“ i started, my voice full of compassion and tenderness. He looked at me, his eyes meeting mine. „I like you, too. I like you so much, that it hurts.“ I paused a bit before i continued. „Im drawn to you like a magnet, i cant pull off. But, its like, every time the magnets are about to connect, one switches polarity and the other is thrown aback. Its driving me insane! With Phil, everything flows easy. But with you, its everything but easy.“ „Maya, i know i'm not the easiest person..“ he started to say, but i held my fingers to his lips, not leting him speak.They wer so soft and warm, i had to focuse hard on what i wanted to say. „I know, its not easy for you to open up, to let people in. I get it. And i know i said i can wait, that i'll be patiente. But my patiance is fading. I dont know how much longer i can go on like this, Jake. Its tearing me up inside.“ As i said it, i leaned my forehead to his, putting both of my arms to his chest,leaning against him. We just stayed like that for a while. Being this close to him, and the warmth of his body radiating - i felt serene. His heart was beeting fast, probably matching mine. I could stay like this forever, i tought, but i needed to continue. I was waiting for this, to finaly tell him what was on my mind. „I need to know what might be of us.“ I said „If there even exists the posibility of 'us'.“ We stayed like that for a while more, non of us daraing to move or speak, before i slowely pulled away from him. I sighed „You dont have to say anything now. Just, think about what i said. You know where to find me if you want to talk.“ I leaned to him, giving him a kiss on the cheek „Good night, Jake. Thanks for the ride.“ I turned walking slowly towards my room, when i heard him say „Good night, Maya, sweet dreams.“ I turned back, not stopping in my steps, giving him one more smile, him smiling back. I hoped me opening up like this will make him finaly understand the depths of my feelings. I knew there was a posibility he might not feel the same, but i didnt care of it now. I did what i could, i told him how i feel, now he holds all the cards. I unlocked my door and entered the room, kicking my boots off, throwing myself on the bed. What an interesting night it was, i tought smiling, covering myself with blanket and letting sleep take over me.
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blissedoutphil · 4 years
Text
Cool Down
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Never thought I’d be writing a prompt from the man himself in the year he’s barely around. Also anon’s idea is A+ thank you for that, I hope you enjoy!
The (**) leads to a nsfw link so be careful if you wanna click it!
3019 words of ice play, Top!Phil, bottom!dan, ice play, blowjob, smut
or read on ao3!
Dan groaned at the sound of the doorbell. Phil and his damn packages. It was so hot that he'd decided to spend the day not moving at all from the spot on the couch near the fan, but Phil was busy filming so he had no choice.
He reluctantly stepped away from the fan and went to answer the door. He didn’t bother putting a shirt on and was just in his shorts, because who needs a layer over their sticky skin in fucking 34ºC weather.
He was too hot to even feel conscious about being topless when facing the cute deliveryman. The guy didn’t look fazed either, probably most people he delivered packages to were wearing as little clothing as possible on this sweltering day. He dumped Phil’s packages on the kitchen table and went back to his spot.
A few hours later Phil walked in, in just shorts too.
“Whew, I’m glad filming’s finally done. Couldn’t wait to take off my shirt the entire time,” he complained, plopping down between Dan and the fan.
“Hey! Stop blocking the fan,” Dan toed at Phil’s side to get him to move, “go get your packages on the kitchen table.”
“Oh, they’re here already?” Phil got up immediately, looking quite excited that his order had arrived.
“You making a Wish video again or something?” Dan asked from where he was still lounging.
“No, just got some things I thought were cool.”
“Phil, we’ve got enough useless things lying around here, you gotta stop falling for the ads” Dan rolled his eyes.
“Uh, I beg to differ, you loved that Nic Cage pillow cover,” Phil said indignantly, “plus I got something that’s definitely useful for you right now.”
That piqued Dan’s interest, and he quirked an eyebrow at Phil, “If it’s not another fan or a portable A/C then I don’t agree with you.”
“It’s better than that, trust me,” Phil had that glint in his eye that Dan knew meant he was planning something good.
But he was also being sneaky about it, refusing to tell Dan what he got and telling him he’s got to wait a few hours.
So they spent the rest of the warm day lazily lounging about and trying but failing to pay attention to the tv since their brains felt melted from the heat. Phil had eaten 2 ice lollies, and made huge glasses of iced coffee for both of them, but they still felt warm as soon as their cold treats were gone.
"If whatever you bought is better than a fan then can we please use it now?!” Dan said exasperatedly, wiping sweat off his brow.
“So impatient,” Phil chided, but he got up to retrieve the item.
“Actually,” Phil continued as he walked over to the kitchen, “I got this idea after I saw your tweet.”
Dan craned his neck to look over at his boyfriend, squinting his eyes suspiciously.
“You gonna help me stick some ice up my ass?” he joked, but stopped chuckling when he realised Phil wasn’t laughing along with him.
“I mean,” Phil shrugged, looking into the freezer, “you could’ve just texted that to me.”
Dan’s breath hitched as it dawned on him that Phil was dead serious about following through with his joke tweet.
“It’s too hot for sex right now, Phil,” he griped.
“Not as hot as your idea. Hey, describing ice play as hot is kinda ironic,” Phil grinned.
Dan rolled his eyes fondly. “What does my tweet have anything to do with your Wish purchase anyway?”
“It’s like Wish knew what you tweeted, I think they’re spying on us.”
“Spit it out, Lester, what did you get? A dick-shaped ice tray or something?”
Phil peeked out from the freezer door. “That does sound like something Wish probably has.”
Dan barked out a laugh. The ridiculousness of the idea based on his joke coupled with the determination on Phil’s face resulted in him doubled over from laughter.
Dan pressed his hand over his chest at an attempt to calm down to talk, “Don’t tell me you actually!”
Phil shrugged nonchalantly, “your wish is my command, who else was gonna fulfil your requests on twitter?”
Dan shook his head slightly at his ridiculous boyfriend. He heard the freezer shut and Phil beckoned him over to the kitchen, so he lazily got up and padded over to where his boyfriend was in front of the counter.
The moment he stepped close enough for Phil to reach out for him, Phil grabbed him and pinned him against the counter. He grunted as Phil turned them so his back hit against the counter, barely having time to register what was happening.
Phil had a smirk as he held Dan in place by his hips. He headed straight for Dan’s lips, and Dan happily welcomed the kiss. But Dan’s eyes widened and he moaned in surprise when he opened his mouth and a small ice cube was pushed into his mouth. The ice cube quickly melted between their tongues, and Phil only broke the kiss when it was completely gone.
Dan gasped out a surprised laugh. He already had an idea of what Phil was up to yet somehow he still did not see that coming.
Phil winked in that endearing way where it almost counted as blinking instead, and reached for something on the counter behind him. He gently pushed Dan’s head down to his neck and Dan got the hint, starting to mouth along his neck to his shoulder.
Dan had barely started on sucking a hickey when Phil gripped his hair and yanked him back up to kiss him again. Dan still moaned in surprise when he felt another ice cube being pushed into his mouth again.
Dan noted that the ice wasn’t exactly cube shaped as it got passed between them. Phil rubbed it on Dan’s tongue with his own, feeling it melt.
Their lips felt cold but their bodies grew warmer, sticky against each other as their chests pressed together. Phil placed a hand on Dan’s chest to balance himself and also have some space between them so that their body heat wouldn’t be too uncomfortably hot. He could feel Dan’s heart beating faster against his palm.
Once again, Phil looked over Dan’s shoulder to pop another ice into his mouth after the previous one completely melted. This time, he stuck his tongue out to show Dan the ice.
“Oh,” was all Dan could manage before he broke out into laughter.
Phil couldn’t help but giggle too, taking the dick-shaped ice from his tongue and holding it out for Dan to take a proper look.
“Cute innit, you guessed right. I think Wish can actually grant any wish we have,” Phil beamed at his own dumb joke.
Dan looked behind him and saw a big glass on their table top full of small ice that were shaped simply like bananas with two circles at the end.
“Not what I thought of at all when I tweeted that,” Dan laughed.
He turned back to Phil when he felt Phil place the ice on his chest. He watched as Phil traced the ice along his chest, watched as the dick shrank quickly until all of it turned to water trailing down his stomach. How was playing with ice so hot?
“Don’t think these tiny things in my ass would be satisfying enough, though,” he smirked.
“Oh, I know,” Phil squeezed Dan’s ass, “this is just one of the things in my Wish package.”
Dan didn’t have time to ask anything because Phil was already pressing an ice-dick to his lips, and he opened his mouth to accept it, Phil’s lips following immediately after.
A strangled whimper escaped Dan’s mouth when a sudden cold bit at his nipple. He gripped Phil’s upper arm for purchase, but Phil wasn’t letting up on their kiss or the sliding of the ice across his chest.
The ice was circled around his nipple, going over it until it hardened. Dan shivered a little, but Phil only broke the kiss to pop another ice into their mouths and press another against his other nipple, repeating until it was equally numb and hard.
Dan shuddered, swallowing the melted ice. He was definitely starting to cool down, feeling the cold water run down his chest. Phil was still tracing another ice slowly, from his clavicles to his chest to his tummy - like he didn’t want to miss a spot.
They were both already hard, and with his free hand, Phil began palming Dan through his shorts. Dan whined into Phil’s mouth, canting his hips into Phil’s hand.
Phil pressed an ice below Dan’s collarbone using his lips. He slowly traced it down Dan’s body, and Dan held onto his shoulders as he went down. The ice melted completely by the time it reached Dan’s bellybutton, but Phil continued kissing his way down, until he was properly on his knees.
Above him, he heard Dan’s breaths coming out ragged. He licked a drop of water that was trickling down Dan’s happy trail to the waistband of his shorts, then started mouthing Dan’s dick through the shorts. He could feel Dan’s dick twitch, straining against the shorts.
Dan moaned, tugging at Phil’s hair to move him away just long enough for him to remove the only piece of cloth on him. He hastily pulled his shorts down, and Phil helped him step out of it completely.
Dan shivered involuntarily as Phil started licking along his shaft. Phil’s tongue felt cold on him, but he felt himself heating up from the way Phil was staring up at him while swirling his tongue on his slit.
“My god,” Dan moaned when Phil went down on him proper, a cool sensation in contrast to the usual warmth of his mouth.
But the cold didn’t last long of course, as Phil started bobbing his head in earnest. Dan’s balls met Phil’s chin with each time Phil went down on him.
“Phil,” Dan moaned, trying to catch his breath to speak, “Phil I won’t last before seeing your other - oh- your other purchase.”
At that, Phil kneeled up and slowed his movements. His free hand snaked up to reach the glass on the edge of the table. The dick-shaped ice left in there had melted some, and he dipped his fingers in to wet them.
Dan was still too caught up in the blowjob to notice what Phil was doing, so he let out a small surprised yelp when Phil’s cold fingers pressed against his hole. He spread his legs a little, relaxing to let Phil finger him.
A strained whimper escaped Dan, starting to feel overwhelmed from Phil’s mouth still on him and now his fingers in him too. Phil began to pump his finger in and out, adding a second finger soon after. He looked up at Dan, gauging how he was holding up so that he knew to pace himself and not let Dan come before he could move on to the next part. Dan was gazing down at him, panting and looking flushed despite all the ice rubbed on him.
Phil moved off of Dan’s dick with a pop when he was done fingering him. He stood up and gently manoeuvred Dan to turn around and bend over on the counter top.
“I don’t think you’ve cooled down enough,” Phil said nonchalantly, tapping Dan’s ass.
Dan folded his arms and rested his cheek against them, humming in agreement with Phil.
“Gimme more ice dicks,” he chuckled and wiggled his butt, “you still haven’t fulfilled my twitter wish.”
“Once again,” Phil smacked Dan’s ass playfully, “so impatient.”
Phil took some ice that hasn’t yet melted in the glass and placed them neatly in a line down Dan’s back along his spine, from the bottom of his neck right to the spot between his back dimples. Dan could count 6, and could feel the coldness spread from each of them through his skin. He was then ordered to keep still so the ice wouldn’t fall off.
“Actually,” Phil went to open the freezer, “I don’t think I can fulfil your twitter wish exactly.”
Dan made a questioning noise, confused. But he couldn’t turn to look at Phil.
“You asked for a cube, but that’s not what I have,” Phil took out his next item from the freezer and finally showed it to Dan.
“Oh. My. God,” Dan uttered in a mix of shock and amazement, “fucking Wish!”
Phil giggled. He opened the dick mould (**) to reveal the ice in the shape of a very realistic penis, complete with the balls and head and veiny shaft. It was rather large too, Dan reckoned, almost as big as him.
Dan could feel the tiny ice dicks melting on his back, the water dripping down his sides as his body thrummed in excitement to try out the new toy.
“Ready?” Phil asked, taking out the ice from the mould and rubbing it along Dan’s crack.
Dan shivered at the contact, it was fucking cold. But he didn’t want to waste anymore time and cause the ice to melt before they could even start.
“Yesss,” he keened, sticking his ass up a bit more.
Phil took Dan’s arm and brought it behind him, a silent order that Dan understood immediately. He spread his asscheeks with both hands, his face planted against the table as he looked on at Phil expectantly.
Phil quickly pressed the head of the ice-dick into Dan’s hole, and Dan hissed at the coldness penetrating him. The balls part of the ice was already starting to melt in Phil’s hand, but he took his time pushing it into Dan, letting Dan adjust to the intrusion. He knew Dan could take the size since it was smaller than him, although only by a bit, but he wasn’t sure how it would feel to have a frozen item entering him.
“Oh my god,” Dan mumbled. He could feel the cold spread inside him, a much more intense sensation than at the start of their play when the tiny ice was just spreading a bit of cold on his skin.
“How does it feel?” Phil asked as he slowly pushed another inch in, a steady hand on Dan’s lower back.
“Fucking cold,” Dan grit out, “strange but. Good. Keep going.”
“Good,” Phil repeated, and kept going like Dan requested until the ice balls were pressed against Dan’s ass, a little out of shape from having melted slightly.
“So weird, I can like, feel it melting inside me,” Dan commented, swaying his hips a bit.
Phil grabbed the ice balls and slowly dragged it out a bit, noting that the ice already lost its veiny details, now looking like a really long and thick ice pop. He then pushed it back in and repeated, fucking Dan with the ice and watching as it grew smaller in size.
Water was trickling out of Dan’s ass and down his legs, and now he really felt cool all over. Phil let go of the ice and kept it in Dan, reaching under Dan and placing his cold hand on Dan’s hard dick. Dan jerked at the touch, and moaned when Phil started stroking him.
Dan felt like his ass was going numb from the cold, not really able to clench around the shrinking ice. He was able to feel Phil sliding his own dick along his crack, though. He wiggled his ass and stuck it out more, encouraging Phil.
“All the cold water’s being wasted,” Phil noted as more melted ice trickled down Dan’s thighs, “here, let me help you keep it in.”
With that, Phil pulled his own shorts off and thrusted into Dan, eliciting a loud moan from Dan. The small length of ice that hasn’t melted was pushed further into him, and Dan could feel the cold piercing his insides.
“Oh,” Phil moaned, totally not used to fucking into a cold hole.
He began to fuck Dan faster, and the ice definitely melted faster with the movement and their combined body heat. Dan held onto the edge of the table, bracing himself against it as he was fucked. He tried to clench around Phil but still felt too numb to work his muscles there.
Phil’s hand moved back to jerking Dan off, wanting him to come at the same time. Dan was moaning expletives, his hips colliding against the table with every hard thrust from Phil.
The glass of tiny ice-dicks was completely melted, and Phil poured some of the cold water on Dan’s back, spreading it around with his hand. Dan squealed, warning Phil that he was close. It only made Phil speed up both his thrusts and strokes, until Dan wasn’t able to form any words anymore.
Soon enough, Dan came with a high pitched moan, feeling warmth rise in his groin despite all the cold water in and on him. Phil followed almost immediately after, filling Dan with his come. He stayed inside Dan until he fully calmed down from his high.
Dan was lying pliant on the table when Phil pulled out. He realised that the numbness was finally gone, and he clenched his ass to keep the mix of come and melted ice in him for just a bit longer. Phil laid on top of Dan, pressing his body against Dan’s back, and Dan finally felt a bit of warmth again.
“So how was that? Was it everything you wished for when typing that tweet?” Phil murmured in between soft, lazy kisses on the back of Dan’s neck and shoulders, smirking against Dan's damp skin.
“Hmm,” Dan pondered, “not exactly. You didn’t shove it in me like I tweeted.”
Phil huffed, pushing off of Dan and smacking his ass, “you clean this mess.”
Dan merely laughed. He turned around as soon as Phil was off him and pulled Phil into a hug before Phil could get too far.
“Okay okay, I loved it. And I’ll clean up here, only if you promise to try the ice dick too.”
--------------------------------------
smh at the way I kept referencing Wish but only found the mould on etsy. also 'cold' doesn't look like a proper word anymore. Anyway, hope all of your summer’s been good (as good as it can get in this pandemic...)
56 notes · View notes
quercussp · 4 years
Text
Sunshine and daisies
Rating: G
Word count: 1.3k
Summary: Phil goes for a walk.
Authors note: This is a fic written for @velvetnautilus as part of the blm fundraiser, hope you like it!
Thank you to @det395, @alittledizzy and @insectbah for the help!
Warnings: mention of covid
[read on ao3]
Walking down the street felt very weird after weeks and weeks of being at home. And sure, it was weird to see people in masks and signs to keep your distance in every shop, but at least he was out on the sunny street with people around. It felt like the weather was celebrating the end of the lockdown with everyone. The clear blue sky made the world feel happy and big. There was a pleasant cool breeze rustling the leaves on the trees, there were colorful flowers planted along the sidewalk, and the air felt fresh and rejuvenating.
 As Phil turned the corner, he saw the familiar logo of a Starbucks. When he left for a walk this morning, leaving Dan to brainstorm on the next chapter, he didn’t have a real goal in mind, but getting a fancy ice coffee felt like a really good idea.
 He adjusted his face mask (with a corgi pattern, of course) and took his place in line (6 feet behind the previous person, of course). Taking out his phone, he considered texting Dan and asking if he wanted something but then decided against it. Dan was working and pulling him out of his focus for coffee didn’t seem worth it, especially since Phil was fairly confident he could guess what Dan would prefer. Instead, he opened twitter and scrolled through his feed.
 The line looked long, but it took only 10 minutes for Phil to get to the register and order his Caramel Ribbon Crunch frappuccino (the name itself made Phil’s teeth ache in anticipation of all the sugar) and an Iced Matcha for Dan. He also ordered a cake pop for himself (he was an adult, no one could tell him what to do) and an almond croissant for Dan.
 Phil left the coffee shop and slowly walked down the street towards the apartment, drinks in both hands and the pastries under his arm. A woman with a baby stroller walked past him, talking on the phone with someone. A young man in a mask jogged past him and Phil had to actively stop himself from doing a double-take (he had quite nice shoulders). Phil felt as though his breaths were deeper and almost sweeter than usual. It felt good. Life felt good.
 He was passing the little flower shop that Dan liked to frequent and suddenly felt the urge to go in. Dan was the one who loved to buy flowers. Every now and then he would come home from a walk with a large bouquet. Sometimes he would say that they were for Phil and blush a little. Sometimes he would just put them on his desk and not mention it. And sometimes Phil would kiss him on the cheek and say “Such pretty flowers, Danny.”
 Phil walked inside the store and breathed in the smell of the flowers. He walked around the different displays, looking at the different plants, trying to decide what to get for Dan.
 “Sir, can I help you?” A voice interrupted Phil’s thoughts. He was so startled that he almost dropped one of the coffees to the floor, but caught it just in time. The bag with the pastries, however, fell down.
 “Sorry, sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you!” The young sales assistant rushed to pick up the slightly beaten bag and handed it to Phil.
 “No, no, it’s all fine! I just didn’t see you there!” Phil put down the cups on the counter, adjusted his facemask, and shoved the bag back under his armpit.
 “Is there anything I can help you with, sir?” the girl asked again, in a quieter voice.
 “Um…yeah, I wanted to buy some flowers…” Phil trailed off. There was an awkward pause.
 “Well, this is the place for it! What kind of flowers are you looking for?”
 “They’re for…a friend. A boyfriend.” It was still weird to be able to say it out loud. 
  It’s been a year since I could first say it on the street, Phil thought to himself. How has the time flown by?
 “Oh, ok! What kind of flowers are you thinking? What does he like?” She started walking around the shop pointing at different flowers. “Lilies? Or maybe some roses, is he a roses guy?”
 “What about these?” Phil pointed at a bucket. “They’re daisies, right?”
 “Yes, those are a great choice! Did you know that in the language of flowers daisies mean ‘I love you truly’? How many do you want?”
 “All of them,” said Phil before he could stop himself.
 If the sales assistant was surprised, she didn’t show it. “Ok, great!” she said and started wrapping the giant bunch up into fancy paper. Phil felt a little silly watching her wrap up what must have been several dozen of the white flowers, but said nothing and just awkwardly stepped from foot to foot.
 “There you go, that will be 94.60!”
 After paying, Phil tried to arrange all the packages in his arms without dropping the coffee, but nearly tumbled over. 
 “Here! Let me help!” exclaimed the flower girl and carefully handed Phil the cups after placing the bouquet under his free arm. “I’m sure your boyfriend is gonna love them! Have a nice day, stay safe!” She opened the door for him.
 The walk home, while still quite pleasant, was definitely a little tricky. As was opening the door and pressing the buttons in the lift. And he didn’t even attempt to unlock the front door, and just banged on it with his foot until Dan opened.
 “What’s all this?!” Dan looked rumpled and a tiny bit annoyed, although his face quickly turned to surprise and his ‘Phil what are you doing but also you’re so cute’ expression.
 Phil handed Dan the (very much melted) matcha and the pastry bag. “For you,” he said, walking into the apartment and placing his cup on the table. After tearing off his mask, he gave Dan a quick peck on the lips and stepped out of his trainers.
 “Daisies?” Dan asked, looking at the giant bouquet.
 “Also for you.” For some reason, Phil felt a little hesitant now. They were a little ridiculous. They probably wouldn’t fit into any vase they had.
 Dan looked into Phil’s eyes for a bit and then proceeded to give him a slow kiss. “Thank you. I love them,” he said and took the flowers out of Phil’s arms. “Now go wash your hands, mister, don’t want any of that virus on my furniture.”
 When Phil came back after washing up and changing into his pajamas, Dan had assembled the daisies into smaller bouquets, placing them in 5 separate vases, and was now arranging them all across the flat.
 “They’re a bit ridiculous, I know.” 
 “Hey, don’t say shit about my flowers!” Dan countered. “But what did you do, buy the whole stock?”
 When Phil didn’t answer, Dan started laughing and kissed Phil on the side of the head. “They’re beautiful, Phil, and now I have enough to put into every room.”
 They ended up finishing up their drinks and pastries while sitting on the sofa, legs tangled together. Dan told Phil about his progress (or lack of it) on his book, and Phil told him about what specials were at Starbucks. They watched a couple of YouTube videos and at some point, Dan stood up to continue working.
 “They mean I love you,” Phil blurted out before Dan had a chance to leave the room. “The daisies. The store woman said that they mean ‘I love you deeply’ or something like that.” He trailed off, a little embarrassed.
 Dan turned around and walked back up to Phil. He pulled him up from the sofa and wrapped himself around Phil and squeezed. “Oh, Phil, you spork,” he whispered into Phil’s hair and kissed him on the temple. They stood wrapped up together for a minute or two, until Dan untangled himself, gave Phil a last kiss on the lips, and went up to his office. He took the biggest vase with him.
52 notes · View notes
antiadvil · 4 years
Text
i AIM 2 b w/ u
summary: Dan’s life is a little bit of a mess. He met his only friend through a chat website, and Dan doesn’t even know what he looks like. The only person he’s ever come out to is said friend. He’s wasting his gap year away.
But hey, at least there’s that cute boy he met at London Pride.
rating: PG13
wc: 4k
notes: for the @phandomreversebang! lovely art created by @anironsidh and betaing provided by @quackitity (also stay tuned for @judearaya‘s version which i betaed and is very good)
read on ao3 or under the cut
Dan glanced at the time. He had a few minutes to kill before he had to catch his train to London Pride, he decided, so he logged into his laptop and opened AIM.
His heart skipped a beat. His best (and only, if he was being honest) friend was online. He sent him a message.
danisnotonfire: hey
amazingphil: hi!!!
He and Amazingphil had met in a chat room about five months ago. They bonded a bit over their sexualities, and then Dan sent him a PM about Muse, and then here they were, still messaging almost every day since.
amazingphil: what r u doing?
danisnotonfire: im never doing anything
amazingphil: lol
amazingphil: yes u r >.<
amazingphil: guess what im doing
danisnotonfire: what
amazingphil: guess >:(
danisnotonfire: no >:)
amazingphil: pls
danisnotonfire: hmm
danisnotonfire: maybe
amazingphil: hurry up
danisnotonfire: wait im thinking of a good one
danisnotonfire: ok
danisnotonfire: ur running away from the police bc u stole the crown jewels
amazingphil: no u spork
amazingphil: im picking out an outfit
danisnotonfire: an outfit? :0
danisnotonfire: u wear clothes?
amazingphil: i hate u
amazingphil: i have Plans today
Dan glanced at the clock. He had to leave soon for his own plans, but he still felt a tiny bit jealous.
danisnotonfire: you have Plans?
amazingphil: yes
amazingphil: what r u doing?
Dan checked the time again. He frowned. He had to leave now if he wanted to make his train.
danisnotonfire: getting ready to take a train
danisnotonfire: g2g actually sry
danisnotonfire: c u?
He didn’t wait to see amazingphil’s response before he closed his laptop and bolted for the door.
The train ride to London was nerve wracking but uneventful. Dan had never travelled so far on his own before, and his mother’s warnings rang in his head. As tempted as he was to pull out his phone and pretend to be busy, he kept himself alert, his phone safely stowed in his pocket and his backpack clutched in his lap.
His mother didn’t know where he was going. No one knew where he was going. It was a little bit scary, but also exhilarating. He could do anything; he could be anyone, as long as he was on the 8pm train home.
When his train pulled into the station, it was easy to follow the crowd of people in rainbow apparel to the parade site. Dan’s train had arrived a tiny bit late, and it looked like the parade had already started.
The street was crowded, but Dan wriggled and elbowed his way to the front of the crowd, where he had a decent view of his first ever Pride parade. He found himself sandwiched between two girls holding hands and a dark haired boy who looked about Dan’s age.
“Hey,” Dan found himself shouting to the boy next to him.
The boy glanced over, flicking dark hair out of his eyes. “Hey,” he shouted back. “What brings you here?”
“I’m gay,” Dan shouted. He laughed. It was so exhilarating to say out loud that he said it again. “I’m gay!”
The boy laughed. “Me too,” he said. “What a coincidence.”
“What’s your name?” Dan asked.
“Phil,” the boy replied. “You?”
“Dan,” he said back.
“Well, Dan, is this your first pride?”
Dan nodded. “What about you?”
Phil shook his head. “This is my third.”
“Wow,” Dan said.
Phil laughed. “It’s not that many. I’m sure there are some people here who have been to every single one.” He nodded toward a group of older men riding on a passing float.
Dan tried to wrap his mind around the fact that there had been fewer than forty London Prides. That everything around him was new and fragile and still in its infancy. “That’s crazy,” he said. “That that’s even possible, I mean.”
Phil nodded emphatically. “I know, right? If I had been born just fifty years earlier…” He shuddered.
“It’s not like it’s that great to be gay right now either,” Dan admitted.
“No,” Phil admitted. He looked down.
They were silent for a few moments.
“Sorry,” Dan said, clearing his throat. “I kinda killed the mood there, didn’t I?”
“Don’t worry about it,” Phil said. He shifted uncomfortably, fiddling with the plastic rainbow flag in his hands. “Does your family know you’re here?” he added softly.
Dan shook his head, eyes welling with tears.
“I’m so sorry,” Phil said in a rush, “That was such a personal question, I don’t know why I-”
“It’s okay,” Dan said softly.
Phil hovered awkwardly just at the edge of Dan’s personal space. “Um, do you want a hug or-”
“Yes,” Dan said, immediately crushing himself into Phil’s arms and squeezing his eyes shut.
He resolutely ignored the tears leaking from the corners of his eyes.
“Shh,” Phil said, holding him tighter. “It’s going to be okay.”
Dan didn’t know why he believed everything this beautiful stranger said, but he did.
It was going to be okay. Dan let that message sink into his body, settle in his stomach, until his limbs felt less shaky and his footing more solid. He pulled away from Phil, wiping his eyes.
“Sorry,” he muttered. “I don’t know what that was.”
“It’s okay,” Phil said. “It’s your first Pride; it’s overwhelming. Are you from nearby?”
“I’m from near Reading,” Dan said.
Phil whistled. “That’s pretty far.”
Dan shrugged. “No one will recognize me here.”
Phil nodded. “I’m sorry.”
Dan shrugged again. “It’s okay.”
“Well, I hope you have a good time. It’s a lot of fun.”
Dan looked around at everyone wearing various different pride flags, all of the floats covered in rainbow. “I think I will.”
Dan and Phil stayed together for the rest of the parade, bumping shoulders and pointing out people with particularly funny signs. When the last float passed, though, Dan realized he didn’t want to break apart.
He turned to Phil to say so, but before he could open his mouth, Phil interrupted him, looking nervous. “Actually, um, if you don’t have anywhere to be yet, I thought we could hang out for a bit? Get coffee or something?”
Dan had left a few hours after Pride for exploring London, maybe even looking at some colleges so what he told his mum wasn’t a complete lie, but he’d rather spend them with Phil. “I’d love coffee,” he said.
Phil brightened. “There’s a Starbucks really close by. If you like Starbucks?”
“I love Starbucks,” Dan said. He loved anywhere Phil wanted to drink coffee together.
“Perfect,” Phil said, already walking, presumably towards the Starbucks. “My treat.”
“Oh, you don’t have to-” Dan scrambled to keep up.
“Please,” Phil said, smiling. “It’s the least I can do.”
Dan rolled his eyes. “In exchange for what?”
“You travelled all the way to London to see me,” Phil smiled.
Dan rolled his eyes even harder. “It wasn’t to see you, dummy-”
Phil gasped in mock betrayal. “It wasn’t?”
“No,” Dan said, “It was to learn and grow as a person, to find myself, to-”
“Shut up,” Phil said, giggling. “Just let me buy you coffee.”
“Fine,” Dan said, pouting.
“Perfect,” Phil said, leading Dan into a Starbucks, “Now come on.”
Dan’s coffee was delicious, but he let it cool in his hands as their conversation went on. He and Phil had a lot in common, and their conversation flowed easily. They both followed a lot of the same online creators, they had similar taste in music, and they had similar senses of humor. They even had nearly matching hairstyles, Phil pointed out with a laugh.
“It’s a cool hairstyle,” Dan said defensively. Phil didn’t need to know that the only way Dan could make it look even slightly good was by straightening it every morning.
“Of course it is,” Phil said. “It’s mine.”
Dan rolled his eyes and lightly shoved Phil.
When Dan finally finished his coffee, he looked at it regretfully. “I guess I should get going.”
Phil hesitated. “I don’t know if you want to go back to my apartment or anything?”
Dan nodded, then looked at his watch. It was getting dark out. “Fuck. I can’t. My train.”
Phil’s shoulders slumped slightly. “Oh. Well, can I walk you to your train at least?”
Dan smiled. “Yeah. That’d be nice.”
It was lucky that Phil had offered to walk him, honestly, because Dan was completely turned around. London was one of the most confusing cities he’d ever been in, but Phil seemed to know his way around it like the back of his hand.
“Here you go,” he said, pointing out the train station Dan had arrived at earlier in the day. He shoved his hands in his pockets, staring at Dan with an intensity that made him blush. “I don’t want to go,” he admitted.
Phil drew closer, and Dan glanced around nervously. There were a few people around. No one seemed to be paying much attention, but that could change.
Fuck it, Dan decided. It was Pride. If there was ever a day for kissing cute boys in public, it was today. As Phil leaned in closer, Dan closed the gap and pressed their lips together.
It was sweet, shorter than Dan would have liked, but as Phil pulled away Dan noticed a man standing at the other end of the street, glaring. Dan could see Phil looking too.
“How about I just stick with you until your train comes?” Phil said lightly, but Dan could see his eyes still on the man on the other end of the street, who made eye contact for another second before finally turning away.
Dan felt the tension in his shoulders unwind just the slightest bit. “That’d be great,” he said.
Phil hovered protectively by Dan’s side for the next few minutes until his train came. Dan wouldn’t be much good in a fight, and he didn’t get the sense that Phil would be either, but his presence was reassuring. When it was time to say goodbye, Phil opted for a hug.
Dan sank into his arms gratefully. “Thank you,” he whispered.
“Of course,” Phil whispered back.
“Stay safe,” Dan whispered.
“I will,” Phil promised, pulling back. “See you?”
“Yeah,” Dan said. “I hope so.”
Barely a minute after Dan boarded his train, his phone buzzed.
phil: did u make it?
Dan smiled.
dan: yes
dan: ty 4 coffee btw, it was good
phil: :)
phil: b safe
dan: u 2
He waited a bit with his phone out, wondering if Phil would say anything more, but he didn’t, so Dan closed his phone and put it away. He let his head fall back against his seat and turned to look out the window, watching London pass by until it was left firmly behind him.
***
The first thing Dan did when he got back home was check AIM. Almost as soon as he logged in, he got a message.
amazingphil: ur back!
amazingphil: where were u :0
Dan hesitated. He didn’t know why he felt like lying.
danisnotonfire: i have a life that isnt online u kno
amazingphil: D:
amazingphil: betrayal
Dan didn’t talk much about his offline life with Amazingphil. He knew the basics: Dan was gay, no one knew, everyone still managed to give him shit for it somehow. But he didn’t know where Dan lived, his little brother’s name, or that he had traveled to London today for Pride.
And if he said something about Pride, then he’d be asked how it went. And then he’d have to talk about Phil. And he didn’t want to talk about Phil for some reason.
danisnotonfire: u have a life offline too
danisnotonfire: remember u said u had plans 2day?
amazingphil: :0
amazingphil: i guess i did
danisnotonfire: howd they go?
amazingphil: good :3
danisnotonfire: is that all ur gonna say
amazingphil: yes :P
amazingphil: i need 2 have mystery or ull lose interest
danisnotonfire: :0
danisnotonfire: i would never
amazingphil: good
danisnotonfire: now tell me
amazingphil: no
danisnotonfire: ಠ_ಠ
amazingphil: :D
amazingphil: it wasnt really interesting anyway lolol
amazingphil: i dont wanna bore u
danisnotonfire: impossible
danisnotonfire: u could never bore me D:
amazingphil: i could
amazingphil: law
amazingphil: textbooks
amazingphil: school
amazingphil: math
amazingphil: r u asleep yet
danisnotonfire: (-_-)zzz
amazingphil: c? told u
danisnotonfire: ok ok
danisnotonfire: u win
Dan still wanted to know what Amazingphil had been up to, but Amazingphil didn’t seem like he wanted to tell, so Dan decided to let it drop. He started to type up a question about whether or not Amazingphil had seen a video uploaded by a YouTuber they both followed, but he was interrupted.
amazingphil: im kinda tired actually
amazingphil: i think im going to bed
Dan’s smile dropped. He had been looking forward to talking to Amazingphil.
danisnotonfire: :(
danisnotonfire: good night!
amazingphil: good night!
He went offline. Dan stayed online for a bit longer, but no one else was really there, and none of the chat rooms he normally joined were interesting that night. Eventually, he gave up. He went to bed early too.
***
He woke up the next morning to a string of texts from Phil. He smiled, grabbing his phone and rolling over to read through them.
phil: hey i have some free time this wknd
phil: i could visit maybe?
phil: if ur free 2
Dan smiled harder.
dan: im free :]
dan: idk why u want 2 visit tho theres nothing here
phil: theres u
Dan had to put his phone down for a second to make sure his face did not actually combust from how hot it was getting.
dan: thatd be nice :3 i miss u
phil: lol, we saw each other yesterday
phil: (i miss u 2 :3)
dan: call me? :3
Dan’s phone started ringing immediately. He picked up. “Why would you want to visit Wokingham?” he asked. “London is way cooler.”
“But you’re not in London,” Phil said.
“I can be,” Dan said, his mind already racing to find excuses for visiting again so soon. “I could say-”
“Dan,” Phil cut him off with a laugh. “I want to visit you. Calm down.”
Dan hesitated. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, Dan,” Phil said. “Why? Are you?”
Dan hesitated. “It’s not that I don’t want to see you again; I really do. But I mean, there are so many people here who know me and I’m not really out. To anyone. Except you.” And someone online, he added silently in his head.
“That’s okay,” Phil said. “We don’t have to- do anything gay if you don’t want to.” He paused. “At least not in public,” he added hopefully.
Dan chewed on his lip. “Even if my parents were out of the house, my little brother is really nosy. Sorry, I don’t think we’d be able to go there.”
“That’s okay,” Phil said, even though Dan thought he still sounded a little bit disappointed. “I’d still like to visit you. I don’t want to make you come to London every time we want to see each other.”
Butterflies erupted in Dan’s stomach. Every time? This wasn’t a one off thing?
“That’s sweet,” he said. “But really, London seems better in pretty much-”
“Awesome,” Phil said. “What time can you pick me up from the train station this Saturday?”
***
Dan opened AIM again, halfheartedly hoping that Amazingphil had come online in the five minutes he’d had AIM closed. He hadn’t, so Dan sighed, closing it again. He checked his twitter for another five minutes, then opened AIM again.
Amazingphil’s away message wasn’t even descriptive: “How much pain has cracked your soul? How much love would make you whole?” Just a Muse lyric. If it meant something, Dan wasn’t going to bother trying to decipher it.
Dan closed AIM again. He opened twitter. He closed twitter, and opened AIM. He repeated the cycle until it was time to pick Phil up at the train station.
Luckily, his mum didn’t ask why he needed the car, just absentmindedly handed him the keys and told him to drive safely. He parked near the train station, hoping he wouldn’t forget where he left the car.
“So this is Wokingham!” Phil said when he got off his train.
Dan nodded. “This is Wokingham.” Phil was disturbingly excited to be in Dan’s town. Dan wasn’t sure why, it was nothing compared to London.
Phil jumped up and down, smiling. Dan couldn’t help but smile back.
“So,” Phil said. “Show me the sights! Hear me the sounds! What is there to do around here?”
Dan shrugged. “Uh, I don’t really go out a lot. But there’s this coffee place I go to a lot if you don’t mind more coffee?”
Phil narrowed his eyes. “Is it Starbucks?”
Dan laughed. “Starbucks? You wish. Phil, I am going to take you to the indiest, least mainstream coffeeshop you have ever been to.”
Phil blinked. “Low bar, if I’m being honest.”
“After this, you’ll never be able to go to a Starbucks again without being disappointed.”
Phil raised an eyebrow. “Tall order.” He giggled. “Get it? Tall order? Because Starbucks drinks are-”
Dan rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help giggling either. “Shut up.”
Phil’s tongue poked out when he laughed, Dan noticed. “Never. I will not be silenced.”
Dan shook his head. “Disappointing.”
Phil pouted.
Dan relented. “It was a little bit funny.”
Phil immediately perked up. “You think I’m funny?”
Dan rolled his eyes so hard they hurt.
Phil giggled.
“Shut up,” Dan said. “Let’s go.”
When they got to the coffee shop, Phil spent an obnoxious amount of time reading the menu.
“It’s just coffee,” Dan said. “It’s not that complicated.”
“It is absolutely that complicated,” Phil insisted. He ended up taking about ten minutes to decide what to order, and when he did it was the same caramel macchiato he had ordered at the Starbucks they went to in London.
Dan reached past Phil to put a wad of pound notes on the counter. “My treat,” he said. “Since you got the train tickets and all.”
Phil glared at Dan and stuffed a wad of pound notes in the tip jar.
Oh well. At least Dan could say he tried. And the barista, who was honestly a little bit cute, seemed very happy about it, so Dan was going to call this a win.
Their coffee was ready in just a few minutes, and Dan watched Phil’s face carefully as he took his first sip of his caramel macchiato. “How is it?” he asked.
Phil closed his eyes. “It’s amazing.”
“Better than Starbucks?”
Phil’s eyes flew open. “Now, now. I didn’t say that,” he said.
Dan snorted at the look of near-panic on Phil’s face. “Don’t worry, Phil. I won’t tell Starbucks you’ve been cheating on her.”
Phil rolled his eyes. “Thanks, Dan. You’re such a good friend.”
Dan looked down. Friend. He didn’t want to act ungrateful, but he had been hoping that Phil didn’t want to only be his friend.
Phil groaned. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
Dan looked up, confused.
“Sorry,” Phil said. “I kind of just got out of a relationship, and I know we live in different cities, so I don’t know if it’s honestly the best idea, but I really like you. And I want to make it work. If you do too.”
Dan smiled. “I think I’d like that.”
Their coffee date- date? Was this a date? It really seemed like a date- well, whatever it was, it went well. Phil admitted that this coffee was, in fact, superior to Starbucks. He told Dan a bit about his job- he worked as a video editor- and asked Dan about his. Dan was a little embarrassed to admit he worked at Asda, but Phil didn’t seem fazed. Before long, Dan was telling stories about all the outraged customers he’d dealt with, and Phil was laughing along.
Dan let himself relax a little bit. It didn’t seem like Phil was going to judge him.
They spent the rest of the day wandering around Wokingham. There really wasn’t much to see, but Dan pointed out all of the places he and his friends used to spend time, before, well, they stopped being Dan’s friends, and all of the little coffee shops and secondhand clothing stores he still went to.
When Phil got on his train home, he didn’t kiss him. Dan knew too many people in Wokingham for that. But Phil did hug him, tightly, and Dan whispered a promise to visit soon in his ear.
***
When Dan got back to his room, the first thing he did was check AIM.
Amazingphil still had the same away message as that morning. Dan sighed. Why was he so hard to reach today?
Oh well. There were other things to do on the internet anyway. Twitter was boring today, but there was always YouTube, and random AIM chatrooms where he didn’t know anyone. Dan lost track of time, chatting with someone he was pretty convinced was a fifty year old man pretending to be a teenager, until he got a notification that Amazingphil was online.
He immediately closed his other chat window; the fifty year old man would have to wait.
danisnotonfire: ur back!!! :D
amazingphil: lol
amazingphil: im back :D
danisnotonfire: was ur relaxing day unplugged relaxing
amazingphil: lol
amazingphil: yes
amazingphil: i had a good day :)
danisnotonfire: that’s good
amazingphil: i was thinking though
amazingphil: u know what’s weird
amazingphil: i don’t know what u look like >.<
amazingphil: we should skype or something
danisnotonfire: we should
danisnotonfire: when?
danisnotonfire: like rn?
amazingphil: sure
amazingphil: if u want
amazingphil: im not doing anything
Dan glanced around. He should clean his room.
danisnotonfire: give me 5
He glanced around again. There was no way his entire room was getting cleaned in five minutes.
Oh well. He had committed. He slammed his laptop shut and surveyed the room, trying to figure out what he could clean in five minutes. Or, well, what he could shove under his bed or in his closet in the next five minutes.
He managed to hide all his dirty laundry, then kicked a bunch of the clutter in his room to one side and pointed his laptop camera firmly away from it.
He opened AIM again, composing a message.
danisnotonfire: ok im ready
danisnotonfire: my skype is danisnotonfire too
He barely had time to open skype before he got an incoming call from Amazingphil. He picked up, then gaped at the screen in shock.
“Wait,” he said. “Phil?”
Phil blinked. “Dan?”
“What are you doing here?” Dan asked stupidly.
“Skyping you,” Phil said, just as stupidly.
“You’re- you’re Amazingphil?”
“Yeah.”
“And also Phil.”
“I think?” Phil extended his arms, staring at them, as if to check that they were real.
Dan groaned, putting his head in his hands. “How did we not figure this out?”
“To be completely honest,” Phil admitted, “I couldn’t really figure out what your screenname was supposed to say. I didn’t really know your name was Dan.”
Dan laughed. “What did you think it said?”
Phil blushed. “I don’t know!”
“No, really,” Dan said, an embarrassing amount of affection leaking into his voice. “What did you think it said?”
“Like, Dani snot on fire or something,” Phil said. “Look, it’s hard to read, it’s all lowercase-”
Dan groaned. “You thought my name was Dani and my username was about my snot being on fire?”
“Look,” Phil said, still blushing, “I don’t know. What’s your excuse for not knowing who I was?”
Dan felt his face heat up. He shrugged. “Phil is a common name?”
Phil laughed. “Not that common. Dan, you spork-”
“Shut up!” Dan said. “I’m not the one who doesn’t know how to read-”
“Maybe if your username wasn’t so hard to read-”
“Oh, blame it on me-”
“Look, I’m just saying-”
Dan scoffed. “You’re just saying.”
“I am,” Phil insisted. “Look, we both made bad decisions-”
“Bad decisions?” Dan said. “You think us meeting was a-”
“Okay, okay. Stupid decisions,” Phil corrected himself. “My point is, we’re here now. Isn’t that what matters?”
Dan had to agree that it was.
27 notes · View notes
Text
candles are how we keep fires as pets | Phan Magical AU
Summary: Dan tries to convince Phil that no, they absolutely cannot adopt the fire sprite that comes to visit their flat every day. Spoiler: He fails spectacularly.
Word count: 3.6k
Tags: Magical realism, found family, pet adoption, established relationship
No warnings
Loosely inspired by Trying To Catch And Rescue An Injured WILD Pigeon as well as this tumblr post
Read on AO3 or below
“There it is again!” Phil said, waving his arms to try to get Dan’s attention. It was difficult when he was so immersed in his laptop.
“What is, Phil?” Dan said, without taking his eyes off the screen.
“The thing. The fire!”
This finally got Dan to look up. He even started to put his laptop away.
“There’s fire!? Phil! Where?” Dan asked, jumping up from his sofa crease much faster than he had ever gotten up.
Phil filed away that for future reference, a Dan who thoughts things were on fire moved fast. Good to know. It was probably a good thing.
“Out there!” Phil said, pointing through the glass door leading out to their balcony.
Dan visibly relaxed, even if he put a hand on his chest and gave Phil a chastising look.
“I thought something was on fire in here, dork.”
“If it was, would I really be standing at the window and looking out? Which you’d have known I was if you had looked up when I first asked you to,” Phil said. “Now come take a look.”
Dan let out a fond huff of air before he walked over to the window. He had been known to indulge Phil’s whims and it seemed this wasn’t an exception.
“What am I looking for?” Dan asked. “I don’t see any fire.”
“Just wait,” Phil said, locking his hands around Dan’s arm so he didn’t dare move. Phil was almost squishing his face up against the glass.
They probably waited for a full minute until they saw it again.
“There!”
“Oh, that’s not fire,” Dan said. “That’s a fire sprite. Not actual fire, dummy.”
“Hey, don’t be mean to me just ‘cause I don’t know. You’re the witch, not me. I don't know all your magical stuff.”
Dan chuckled at that. “I know, Phil,” he said and moved to hug Phil from behind. He pulled Phil close to his chest and moved his head to rest on Phil’s shoulder as they both watched outside.
The lump of fire danced through the air, almost twisting and turning. It couldn’t be bigger than a fist but it glowed so brightly and its red hued flames lit up their little dark balcony.
“What is a fire sprite?” Phil asked.
“I don’t know much about them. They just sort of appear from big fires, I think. You know how you’d see flickers of ember sometimes float off from a really big bonfire? It’s kind of like that except magic.”
“Cool,” Phil said, moving to put his hands against the glass and pulling Dan forward with him too. Normally, Dan would act annoyed that Phil touched and smudged the glass but right now he didn’t mention it.
“They’re just like flicker of energies.”
“He’s cute,” Phil said.
“It’s not a he. They don’t have a gender. I don’t even think they have a consciousness. They’re just lost magic.”
“How do you know?” Phil countered. “You’re specialising in spells, not magical creatures.”
“You’ve got me there,” Dan said and squeezed closer around Phil.
“I’m going to name him Steve,” Phil said, eyes still watching the fire sprite dance and twist through the air.
Phil could almost feel Dan roll his eyes, even if he couldn’t see him. Even so Dan didn’t say anything in protest.
Steve kept coming back. Every nightfall they would suddenly have a light flicker by their balcony and Phil would run up to the door. He had wanted to leave it open but Dan had told him that it was too risky. Fire sprites might be magical fire but he was sure that they could still make things catch on fire and he didn’t want their home to go up in flames.
Phil had pouted in protest but he had eventually relented. He loved their home a little too much to see it lost. It wasn’t their first home together, and probably not their last either but every home that they shared was special because of the memories they created there.
This home was also special because it was the home where Dan had finally found his familiar. Not all witches got one, or rather found one, but one day Norman had just showed up on their doorstep, meowing loudly.
Phil had been home alone and instantly taken him in but it wasn’t until Dan got home that they realised just how special Norman was. A creature of magic, meant to help and guide their witch. That had been the first surprise.
The second surprise was when Norman had suddenly transformed into a fish and joined Dan for a bath. Dan had almost cracked his head open trying to flee from the bath. Turned out that Norman was a hybrid creature, which wasn’t entirely uncommon for familiars. He was a catfish and he had looked way too satisfied with scaring his witch within one inch of his life.
Norman often joined Phil as he watched Steve in the evening. He was sure that Dan was wrong in his assessment of Steve’s consciousness. He seemed to be putting on a show for Phil every night, purposely staying within sight of the balcony. It was quite endearing. Phil took to sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the glass and just watching for about an hour every night.
It wasn’t exactly entertaining but there was something very calming about it. Norman would normally curl up in Phil’s lap and contentedly purr. Norman adored Phil, potentially even more than the familiar adored Dan, which was an endless source of amusement to Phil.
Dan had argued it must be because Norman and his soul were kin and they both loved Phil more than anything. Phil might have kissed Dan senseless for that soppy reply.
It was fun for a week, even if Dan teased him about his fire sprite watching. But then something changed.
“I think there’s something wrong with Steve,” Phil said to Dan after having watched the fire sprite twist around outside the window like he always did.
The flames on Steve looked dimmer than before and it was growing smaller too. Phil was worried.
“What do you mean?” Dan asked, instantly walking over to where Phil and Norman were sitting on the floor.
As much as he made fun of Phil for getting an attachment to a fire sprite, he must have heard the genuine tone of distress in his voice.
“Look, he’s smaller. Not as bright and not as fast either. Something is wrong,” Phil said, pointing through the glass.
Dan looked for a full minute, deep in concentration, before he hummed.
“It does look different,” he said.
“Steve,” Phil corrected.
“Fine, Steve does look different, but I don’t know that there’s much we can do to change it.”
“I’m going to try to speak to Steve,” Phil said.
“I don’t know that that’s a good idea,” Dan said but Phil had already gotten off the floor and he was pulling open the balcony door. As soon as it opened, the fire sprite flickered away.
Phil was gutted and Steve didn’t come back any more that night.
He did come back the following night, much to Phil’s relief but he looked even worse.
Phil decided to call the Centre for Magical Creatures the following morning, even though he hated talking on the phone.
“Yes, hello,” Phil said after he had finally been patched through to an employee.
“Hi sir, sorry what creature is this concerning?”
“A fire sprite.”
“A… a fire sprite?” the person on the other end of the phone said confused.
“Yes, a fire sprite,” Phil confirmed. “He has been coming to my balcony for a couple of weeks now but he’s dimming and not looking as bright anymore. I’m worried.”
“Sorry, let me just get this right. Your pet is a fire sprite?”
“No, he’s not my pet. A friend, I guess. A visitor? I don’t know. I just know that he’s not himself. He needs help. You help with all magical creatures, right?”
“Yes, we do, sir. But I must confess that we have never gotten a call about a sprite of any kind before. Fire sprites are short-lived and I am afraid that there is not much we could do, even if you did bring him in to one of our centres.”
Phil felt his heart sink.
“But if I do, can you try to help?” Phil asked, imploringly.
“I suppose so.”
“Great, so how do I catch him?”
“I really wouldn’t know, sir. Like I said, no one has ever brought a sprite in before. My best guess would be a trap spell if you can perform such.”
“Oh, but I’m not a witch.”
“Excuse me?” the employee said and now he sounded slightly worried. Phil knew that some witches were still worried about humans knowing too much about them and their practices.
“I said I’m not a witch myself, but I suppose I could get my boyfriend to do it. Will that hold until we can get him to you?”
“Your boyfriend?”
“The fire sprite,” Phil explained.
“Ah, yes. Okay. I will create an incident report, so our centres are ready if you can capture the fire sprite and bring it in. Name?”
“Steve.”
“What’s your last name, sir?”
“Oh, wait? You meant my name? My name is Phil. Phil Lester. The fire sprite is named Steve.”
There was a beat of silence and Phil wondered if the line had gone dead.
“Of course, he is, sir," the voice eventually replied. "Well, I will get that rapport filed and then I wish both you and any of our veterinaries that might see you the best of luck.”
Phil wasn’t sure he should be offended by that closing comment but he didn’t let that get to him. Dan was less than pleased about the idea of catching Steve with a spell but Phil just kept pestering him until he agreed.
When Steve showed up that night, to dance once more, Dan was ready with a spell. It did not go well. For a moment, it almost looked like the orb of energy could lock around Steve but he was too fast, suddenly flickering away much faster than he had ever done.
“We scared him,” Phil whined. “Oh, no, what if he doesn’t come back, Dan?”
“I don’t know, Phil, but he’ll come back, okay? He has every other night, right? Clearly, there’s something about this balcony that keeps him interested. We just have to believe that it will be okay. Steve will be back.”
Steve did come back but he didn’t dance anymore, he just kind of hoovered around and he was smaller than ever before. Phil’s heart ached and he just wanted to help but he had a feeling that another spell would just scare him off. Instead, he grabbed a candle from Dan's stash and slowly opened the door.
Steve flickered away a little but didn’t flee just yet. Phil carefully set the candle down on the ground. He had tried to research fire sprites, even borrowing Dan’s password to access a witch-only database but he hadn’t learned much about them other than what Dan and the man from Centre for Magical Creatures had already told him. They weren’t technically creatures and they didn’t live for very long.
Phil hated that.
“Hi Steve,” Phil called out softly. “You don’t look so good, pal. Why don’t you rest on this candle, yeah? And then in the morning, I can take you to someone who can help? We can get you looked over.”
Phil wasn’t sure if Steve could understand him. Dan would insist that he couldn’t but Phil didn’t see any harm in talking. At least, Steve hadn’t run away yet.
“I’m going to go inside and you can just hang out here, okay? Please stay until morning, so I can get you help.”
Phil watched out of the window for a long time. Steve didn’t leave, but he didn’t dance or go on the candle either. Phil insisted on sleeping in the living room so he could keep an eye on the balcony. Dan ended up joining him on the sofa. He didn't like sleeping alone after so many years of sharing a bed with Phil.
Phil woke in the early morning light when Dan gently shook him awake.
“Phil,” Dan said.
“Hmm?” Phil mumbled and tried to pry his eyes open.
“Steve is on the candle.”
Phil sat up so quickly that he ended up tipping both himself and Dan off the sofa.
“You’re really lucky I love you so much,” Dan said, shaking his head and rubbing his ass where he had landed a little too hard. “Now don’t rush out there. Slow movements.”
Phil was already at the door but he heeded Dan’s warnings and opened the door slowly. Steve looked odd on the wick, small and contained, but he was still here in the light of the morning and that was something that had never happened before.
“Morning, Steve,” Phil greeted politely, as he opened the door.
Norman came trotting up to the door, but then leapt onto the sofa and jumped right up on Dan’s back and climbed until he was sat on Dan’s shoulder, balancing like a pro.
“What would I do without the two of you?” Dan asked, and rubbed his back where Norman’s claws had probably dug in a little too hard. “Phil, just… don’t get burned. I prepared a couple of healing spells but I’d rather not have to use them.”
Phil was momentarily stunned at Dan’s consideration and kind foresight, and he shot him a warm smile over his shoulder until he walked out on the balcony.
“I’m going to pick you up, okay?” Phil said, slowly sitting down and picking up the candle. Steve stayed, flickering slowly, as Phil slowly started to take him towards the flat. “And then we’re going to a vet.”
As soon as the words left Phil’s mouth, Steve up and left the candle.
“No, no, no,” Phil said, waving the candle around, trying to get him back on it. “See? You should get back on this! Candle good!”
“Phil, stop waving it around like that,” Dan said, and stepped out on the balcony. “Here, give me.”
Dan put it down on their little balcony table and stepped back.
They both watched as the fire sprite darted around a little before settling back on the wick again.
“I’ve never seen anything like this before,” Dan said, in wonder.
“Me neither, but what do we do, if we can’t move him?” Phil asked.
“I could always call Pj,” Dan said. “He might know what to do.”
“Yes, your wizard friend! Why didn’t I think of that? That’s brilliant, Dan,” Phil said and, in his excitement, he pressed a kiss to Dan’s cheek. It got Dan to smile that smile that brought out his dimples. Phil kissed him again, just for the pleasure of kissing the deep dimple on his left side.
“Pj might not know how to help either, Phil. Don’t get your hopes up.”
Phil absolutely did get his hopes up, even more so when Pj insisted on coming over immediately after Dan explaining their situation over the phone.
As a wizard, Pj was a classification over Dan and he was quite knowledgeable about magical creatures. He was the one who had originally explained Norman’s dual nature to them and how it was necessary that he got to both be a fish and a cat at times. It was the reason they had a too big aquarium in their living room, even if Norman often would be a cat so he could demand cuddles.
“Where is the wonder?” Pj asked, as soon as he had been let into their flat.
“Out on the balcony,” Phil said excitedly.
“Only, he startles easy, so no sudden movements,” Dan said.
“He?” Pj asked.
Phil was grinning so widely that Dan had now gotten used to talking about Steve the same way Phil did.
“Phil’s a terrible influence. The fire sprite or whatever.”
“Steve,” Phil corrected.
Pj looked from Phil to Dan and back to Phil again. He didn’t exactly look surprised at this banter but then again, he had met them both before. This was pretty on par for them.
Steve stayed on the candle as Pj approached. In fact, he seemed to glow a little brighter at the wizard’s presence.
Pj also greeted Steve politely before he moved his hands to rest on either side of the candle as he did an energy reading. He closed his eyes and Dan took Phil’s hand as they waited.
When Pj opened his eyes again, he looked very excited.
“I’ve never experienced anything like this. But first, how long did you say that Steve was outside of your flat?”
“About two weeks,” Phil said.
“Extraordinary. That’s the usual life span of a fire sprite. They don’t really live for long before the magic slowly drains out of them and they die out. What you said about Steve getting smaller and dimmer was probably him draining of magic. Dying, so to speak.”
“Oh, no, he’s dying?” Phil asked and he didn’t want to cry but he could feel the tears press on all the same.
“No, and that’s the extraordinary thing. He’s not dying, not anymore at least. His core energy is stabilised, which isn’t something that should happen to fire sprites this old. But I’m guessing the candle is providing him with something to build up a bit of his magic. It’s summoning light, isn’t it?”
“Hold up, wait. Yes, that is one of my summoning lights? You took one of those, Phil? Do you know how expensive they are?”
“Hush,” Phil said to Dan. “I’ll buy you a new one. Pj, what does it mean?”
“It means that Steve isn’t dying. He’s thriving actually. I’m more impressed that he somehow understood to get on the candle. Sprites of any kind doesn’t have the same kind of mind as us, or even as other animals or most magical creatures. They’re very simplistic, but they do have an inbuilt fight or flight reflex. This action, however, speaks to general survival instincts and greater comprehension than initially assumed. How did you get him on the candle?”
“I just asked him to,” Phil said. “And when I tried to lift him before to take him to the vet, he jumped off the candle again.”
“Fascinating,” Pj said. “I’d love to study him.”
“What? You’re taking him?” Phil asked, unable to keep some of the heartbreak out of his voice.
“No, I’m not,” Pj rushed to reassure him. “From the sound of it, he would just escape if I tried to take his candle. He has bonded with you. With this place. I doubt he would last long in another environment.”
“What does that mean?” Dan asked, sounding slightly concerned.
“It means we have a new pet!” Phil said happily.
Dan shook his head but didn’t argue. Pj had rushed over to their flat out of curiosity, but he had to head out just as quickly as he had come to run off to another appointment that he had already made himself late for.
Phil sat down on one of the chairs and just watched Steve flicker on the wick. He did look brighter and stronger than he had the night before. His flames were also growing bigger. As Phil watched the flames, they stared to move, shifting into shapes and as Phil smiled and giggled, they shifted into more and more ridiculous ones.
Norman had hopped up on the table and watched with equal fascination.
When Phil looked up, he could see Dan leaning against the balcony doorway and watching the three of them with a bit of a soft smile.
“We’re keeping him,” Phil said, voice stern, even if Dan hadn’t argued. Yet.
“Fire sprites aren’t pets,” Dan argued.
“They can be! Look how happy he is on his candle home,” Phil said and pointed at Steve whose flame grew taller, almost like he was stretching.
“He’ll burn through the candle eventually,” Dan said. “He’s already about halfway through it.”
“We’ll buy more candles, or I’ll raid your shelf of fancy scented ones.”
“Don’t you dare,” Dan said.
“Why? Most of them were gifts from me and you’re not even halfway through the stash,” Phil argued, even if he was still very touched that Dan saved the candles for special occasions.
“I’ll get more candles for Steve,” Dan said and walked over to sit down next to him. “You realise that he might just be gone one day. Up and left. Or if there’s heavy rainfall…”
“We’re going to take him inside with us, obviously,” Phil said.
“And if he burns the whole place down around us?” Dan asked.
At this question Steve moved, flames stretching out again but this time purposely reaching for Dan.
“I think he wants to hold your hand,” Phil said looking at the flames.
“I’m not touching an open flame,” Dan said.
“Well, then I wi-”
“No, I’ll do it,” Dan said and batted Phil’s hand away, and moved his own finger tips closer to Steve’s flame.
Phil watched with bated breath as the flames made contact with Dan’s skin but nothing happened. The flames licked up Dan’s fingers but he didn’t look in pain at all. In fact, Steve slowly climbed off the candle to wind himself around Dan’s fingers. He twisted between his fingers back and forth, clearly without burning Dan before he climbed back to the wick.
It was one of the coolest things that Phil had ever seen and he could see how Dan’s smile shifted.
“Okay, yeah, we’re keeping Steve,” he said and Norman meowed in agreement.
Phil giggled and leaned over to put his head on Dan’s shoulder.
Turned out that sometimes a family could be a witch, his normie boyfriend, his catfish familiar and a fire sprite living beyond its time. Phil thought it was a wonderful start to a family that would only keep growing.
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combeauferre · 4 years
Text
would it be enough if i could never give you peace?
2/ 4, 2.2k words 
They've been through a lot, over the years. Some days are harder than others, but they are each other's constant.
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start at the beginning
Phil’s not sure where Dan is. He’s not in the house. Phil dials his number, and he hears the ringtone in the kitchen, where his phone lies forgotten. His coat is not hanging up, his shoes are not on the rack. He hadn’t mentioned that today was a bad day, but Phil knows that most days are pretty bad, right now.
He waits up for him. He always does, whenever he disappears. He hates the idea of Dan, already in a shitty mood, coming home to a dark house and no dinner on the side, no mug of hot chocolate, no kiss on the forehead waiting for him. Phil puts some Buffy on the TV to comfort himself, because on nights like this he needs something to distract him from his own anxieties, and wraps himself up in their massive fluffy blanket. There’s space for Dan in here if he wants it, when he gets in. Phil always makes sure to leave space for Dan, especially on days like today.
Phil is almost falling asleep when he hears the door opening downstairs. He jolts awake and, once he’s found his bearings, he gets up and wanders into the kitchen to pull down two mugs from the cabinet.
There are footsteps up the stairs, and then padded socks in the hallway. He turns around to see Dan, small and shy, stood in the door to their kitchen. His coat is still round his shoulders, his hair is wet and curly from the rain. Phil coos softly, and walks over to gently push his coat from his shoulders, pressing that kiss to his damp forehead and mothering him just a little more as he walks into the kitchen.
He looks tired. He looks exhausted, more emotionally drained than he did when Phil last saw him, and now he can tell that today has been an especially bad day. They happen sometimes. He internally kicks himself for missing it, but instead of dwelling on that, he pushes aside the thought and runs a hand through Dan’s hair.
“Alright?” he says softly. Dan nods blankly, reaching for his phone on the side.
“You rang me,” he says quietly.
“Just checking up on you,” Phil says, matching the soft tone. He’s learnt to judge what it is that Dan needs on these days.
“Sorry,” he says.
“S’okay,” Phil says, because he’s not really sure what else there is for him to say.
“S’not really though, is it?” Dan says, looking at the floor.
“Dan,” Phil starts, although he’s not really sure where he’s going with it.
“Don’t mean to make you worry,” he says quietly. “I just…”
“Hey,” Phil says, lifting an arm for Dan to slide himself under. “Let me make you a hot chocolate, yeah? We can talk about this in a bit.” He presses another kiss to Dan’s forehead. “Go and put some pjs on, before you make yourself ill.”
He watches Dan go, already missing his presence and wishing he could wrap his arms around Dan’s form and hold him until the bad feelings melt away. It aches that it doesn’t work like that. He sighs, turning back to their drinks.
Dan’s sat in the living room when Phil is finished with the drinks. He’s curled up in the spot Phil left under the blanket, staring at the floor in front of him.
“Hey,” Phil says gently, catching his attention before he hands him a drink.
“Hey,” Dan echoes. He sounds slightly more himself, and Phil smiles softly.
“Better?” Phil asks as he pulls the blanket back and settles in next to him. Dan nods, blowing cool air over the top of his mug, cupping it with his hands.
“Thank you,” Dan says weakly. Phil doesn’t reply, just leans over and presses one more kiss to his temple.
“You wanna talk about it?” Phil asks after a few moments of quiet. He doesn’t look over at Dan, knowing that he’s better at voicing these things when there are no eyes on him. He gives Dan the time and space he needs, looking down into his mug of hot chocolate while he waits for Dan to find the right words.
“I kind of feel like I’m dragging you down.”
That’s a surprise. It has Phil looking up at him with a frown, fighting the urge to reach out and touch him, to give him immediate assurance of the opposite. But he doesn’t. He knows Dan needs space to make his thoughts coherent.
“What makes you think that?”
“I just…” Dan pauses, frowns. Phil looks away again. “You’re so much better at this than me. I get so angry so quickly, and people notice, and…” he takes a breath, and once again Phil is fighting the urge to reach out to him. “I just feel like there’d be so much less shit for you if I wasn’t here.”
Phil looks back up, and this time the urge gets the better of him. He reaches out and finds Dan’s curly locks quickly, threading his fingers through them the way he knows Dan likes.
“I feel like a shit magnet,” he says after a few moments of quiet.
“You don’t smell like one,” is the most helpful thing Phil can think of to say. It makes Dan smile, so he counts it as a win.
“Really, Phil,” he says, “I don’t think you’d get half as much grief if I wasn’t here making things difficult.”
Phil frowns. He’s not sure how to word this, but he knows what he’s feeling.
“Dan,” he says quietly, “I don’t care about that.” Dan frowns. “Well. I do care about it but. I care about you more. I care about having you here, with me, more than any amount of grief I might get.” The hand in Dan’s hair hasn’t stopped moving, and he really hopes it says all the things he’s not sure how to word. “What I want is you. I don’t want to change that. This ‘if I wasn’t here’ shit? I don’t want to think about that. I don’t want to imagine my life without you in it.”
The look Dan gives him is one that says he hadn’t even thought about it like that, and it rips a hole in Phil’s chest. These days throw rationality out the window, and it’s Phil’s job now to help collect the pieces and remind him of what it is that he wants.
“Having an easy life means nothing without you,” he says. He makes sure he’s looking into Phil’s eyes as he says it. He needs this to hit home. “I don’t want to imagine that life. I want you here. Whatever happens, happens. We can deal with the bad shit. But I don’t want you going anywhere, okay?” Dan nods. He looks like he might cry, so Phil leans over to take his hot chocolate away before he’s tugging Dan across into his arms. They stay like that a while, Phil’s hand in Dan’s hair, his chin digging into Dan’s shoulder. He knows that these words will be difficult for Dan to hear and comprehend today. It’s okay. He’ll keep saying them until Dan is able to accept it.
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succubusphan · 4 years
Text
Everything I Wanted
Summary: Dan dreams and dreams of what his life could have been if he had gotten everything he ever wanted - the what ifs that pale in comparisson to what he had now.
Based on the Billie Eilish song.
Rating: G
Word count: 4.9k
Tags: Mild Angst, fluff, established relationship, lots of love and support, My best attempt at being poetic with quite a bit of help. Mild references to homophobia.
A/n: This fic was written for @thoughtathought for winning the charity auction for Dan’s Birthday. Thank you so much for your donation and for being extra amazing! And thank you to @schnaf  for being my support and grammar beta and @icequeenjules26 for adding to the grammar and poetry aspect of the fic. Thank you both for your opinions and unthank you to both of you for roasting me (I’ll see you in hell.)
This is an accompanying piece to If I Ain’t Got You but can be read as a stand alone.
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Rain fell mercilessly upon the streets of Wokingham. Dan sighed and brushed a wet strand of hair out of his face - he hated this fucking weather. His hair was already ruined, but there was no way around it. He pulled his jacket tighter around his body and made his way to school. 
 Dan walked down the hallway of The Forest School confidently. For once in his life he was on time to meet his friends before the first lesson of the day. Some of the people standing off to the side waved at him as he made his way to their usual meeting point. He waved back with a smile even though he didn’t know them. He didn’t mind. It was normal for less popular students to look up to the more popular ones and want their attention in whatever form they could get; he honestly felt a bit bad for them. Luckily for Dan, he had fit into his group right from the start.
 He found them outside the library, as usual. Not because they used it, though. “We’re too cool for that,” Thatcher had said, so the group never went inside. In fact, Dan didn’t know what the inside even looked like. 
 He leaned against the wall, trying to look cool. “Hey, what’s up?”
 “Nice hair, Howell,” Thatcher said. 
 The rest of them laughed - as they usually did - but Dan didn’t mind, they were his friends after all. 
 Thatcher didn’t drop it, though. “You look like a drowned rat.”
 “Thank you, Thatcher! When I want to look like a wanker I’ll ask you for hair advice,” Dan elbowed him. 
 The group laughed even louder and that made Dan’s heart soar a bit; he enjoyed making people laugh like that.
 “Oi, at least I do well with the birds!” Thatcher laughed, wrapping one arm around Dan’s shoulders. “Are you going to call Lara back? She keeps asking.”
 “Uh, yeah. I- ” Dan tried not to let his smile falter. “I will, when it’s time… you know, you gotta let them wait so they want it more.” He winked and his friend roared with laughter again. This time he felt empty. He wasn’t going to call Lara, but he didn’t want to admit that. They accepted him as they knew him, a straight boy who did kind of well at school and was funny; a cool guy. They didn’t need to know that it wasn’t the truth - nobody did. 
 “Damn right! Smart move, Dan. Come on, let’s visit our little friend over there.” Thatcher pointed to a scrawny looking boy. 
 Dan didn’t speak to him, but he knew him. They sat together in math class. If Dan closed his eyes, he could see that shining black hair and those piercing blue eyes just as clear he saw them in front of him now… his rosy lips and long pale fingers tracing over Dan’s skin.
 He shut his eyes, dreading it already. He wanted to leave, he wanted to disappear off the face of the earth, but of course, he had no such luck. Thatcher grabbed his arm and pulled him along. Bullying was a mandatory group activity. 
 “What’s up, Gaylord? What’s it like being lord of the gays?” Thatcher spat. 
 Dan tried his best to seem invisible, to fall behind the rest; he didn’t want any part in this. 
 The guy, Richie was his name, rolled his eyes at them. “What’s it like being Lord of the ignorants? Will you need me to tutor you again, Thatcher? Will you start begging me to -”
 Thatcher’s fist cut him off. It wasn’t a real punch, Dan knew. Thatcher could do a lot more damage if he wanted to, but he seemed conflicted. 
“You have no right to speak to us like that. If you do it again, you will regret it.”
 Richie sighed in defeat. He suddenly looked much older. Dan felt like crying, but he didn’t - he couldn’t. Richie stared into his eyes with unshed tears; as if he knew. He knew that Dan was just like him, but he was also a coward. Someone who would rather be with the bullies instead of being their victim. 
 It was true, but he was their victim too, just in a different way. Richie wiped some blood from his lip and looked at it as if it was a foreign object, then back at Dan. ‘Aren’t you going to do anything?’ his eyes pleaded, but Dan just lowered his head.
 He felt as if the world was crashing down on him like a breaking wave, drowning him, suffocating him in the process, so he did what he usually did when nothing felt right: he ran. He turned around and exited through the back door. He could no longer keep the tears from falling; he was such a piece of garbage. He ran until his lungs felt like they were about to explode. Oh, he was going to be in so much shit for bailing, he was going to be found out, he was - 
 He reached the corner of the street and tried to set foot down on the pavement but he found no support so he fell and fell and fell, into a never-ending dark pit, swallowing him whole.
 Dan jolted awake, his heart pumping in his chest, he was covered in sweat and could feel tear tracks on his cheeks. He sluggishly wiped them off with the back of his hand and tried to calm himself with a breathing exercise. He looked to the right where  Phil laid at his side, undisturbed, and smiled.
 The sunlight coming in through the window formed something like a halo around him. Dan’s smile deepened as he examined Phil’s face - the face of the man that had been his companion for eleven years now. He saw their entire story on Phil’s face, in the signs of ageing he loved so much. The stray grey hair, the smile lines, they spoke of so many adventures, arguments, laughs and love; they reminded Dan of their history together, their history as partners, as best friends. 
 Phil pouted in his sleep and Dan’s heart swelled in his chest. He was so in love with him, even to this day. There was no other way to describe Phil than as his soulmate. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, the remnants of the nightmare gradually fading from his memory. 
 Dan shuffled closer to Phil and placed his head on his shoulder, softly running his nose against Phil’s neck and breathing in his scent. He smelled like home. 
 Phil started to stir, unconsciously pulling Dan closer to his chest with a hum. Dan kissed Phil’s neck, causing him to finally crack one eye open and look at him questioningly. Dan just kept running his fingers through his chest hair, absentmindedly tracing little patterns without a notice. 
 Phil smiled and closed his eyes again, scrunching his face at the sunrays blinding him. “Mmm?”
 “Good morning,” Dan whispered. 
 “Morning.” He placed a kiss atop Dan’s head. “Why are you awake so early?”
 “Mmm. A dream.” He pulled at Phil’s chest hair a bit too hard, making him wince. “Or more like a nightmare… Bullies.”
 Phil frowned and held him a little tighter. “Dan, you know they can’t get you anymore.”
 “I know.” He sighed.
 “Wanna tell me about it?”
 “I guess it was how things could have gone if I’d been able to pass as straight as a teenager. That was everything I wanted, to just fit in.” 
 Phil hummed in acknowledgement. “Did they still bully you?”
 “No, I wouldn’t say they did, but they did something worse.”
 Phil stayed silent, giving Dan the time to process what he wanted to say. 
 “I was weak. They pressured me into being like them. They bullied my friend, Richie. In the dream, he wasn’t my friend, but he was gay and he knew I was too. He looked at me when Thatcher punched him.” Dan’s voice quivered; he suddenly felt like crying again. He allowed himself a moment to breathe. “He was pleading with his eyes, asking me for help and I did nothing.”
 Phil ran his hand up and down Dan’s arm comfortingly. “You wouldn’t have been like them, Dan. You know that, I know you do.”
 “How do you know? How can you be so sure?” Dan lifted his head and looked into Phil’s eyes.
 Smiling, Phil laced their fingers together. “Dan, I know you. We’ve been together for over ten years. I know you better than you know yourself.”
 Of course, Dan settled back down without replying. He wanted to deny that. He knew that Phil was right, but part of him always told him that he was not as great as people seemed to think, that he was just a great pretender. 
 But Phil pulled him away from that thought process right away. “Why do you think you had that dream?”
 The sunlight shined through the room, reflecting off of their sparkly nicknacks. Colourful circles danced on the far wall, vibrant shapes and patterns that created the illusion of a magical world. Dan kept running his fingers through Phil’s chest hair and followed the lights with his eyes. 
 “I guess writing about my childhood brought some memories back, and some doubts too,” he finally said. He hadn’t actually thought about it. His mind had been a bit more prone to … distress since he dived into his past and his mental health. 
 “Yeah, that would do it.”
 “Yeah,” Dan smiled softly, closing his eyes and placing a kiss on Phil’s chest. 
 “So it’s not because you think you actually would have been like that,” Phil pushed.
 “No, it’s not,” Dan said, his voice barely above a whisper. 
 Phil cupped his cheek and guided his chin up, pressing a kiss to his lips, his jaw, his dimples, his eyelids. Dan sighed and allowed himself to be loved, to feel happy and supported. Nobody could take this away from him. He was safe now.
 --
 The hail smashed against the window of his 35th floor office, Dan looked out into the London sky with a heavy sigh. He had managed to push through university somehow, graduate at the top of his class and become a Senior Partner by 30. 
 He loved his career, he really did: the competitive aspect of it, the debate, and helping people. Sometimes he could even go as far as to say that he was happy, but most days he felt merely content. 
 Everyone had praised him for having so much drive and ambition, which was, in great part, the reason for his success, but sometimes he didn’t want any of it. 
 He had achieved what most people would want in life: A career, success, money, a loving boyfriend; but when he got home, when he crossed that door, he wanted to leave it all behind. He didn’t want to be a lawyer or discuss laws, or his cases, of the state of the world. He only wanted to be Dan; just Dan.
 He got on his Porsche and not five minutes later he was parked in front of his beautiful home. Then, he pushed the alarm button, locking it for the night and with the twist of a key, he was inside. 
 He removed his shoes by the door with a sigh and the noise of the TV coming from the lounge made him smile so he followed it. Richard sat on their sofa with his legs close to the side, gently moving his glass of wine in circles, letting the air mix with its contents. Dan walked up to him with a smile and cupped his cheek as he kissed his lips tenderly. “Hi,” he whispered against his boyfriend’s lips.
 “Hi,” Richard said immediately, letting his eyes return to the TV. “Why don’t you get changed? Dinner will be ready soon.”
 “Thank you, do you want to play Mario Kart while we eat?”
 Richard scoffed without even looking at him. “Dan, you know I do not like that sort of childish game and neither should you. You are a lawyer, and 30 years old at that. It’s time to grow up.”
 Dan’s smile vanished, he swallowed thick and his heart dropped to the pit of his stomach. “Right.”
 Richard heard it in his voice before Dan could say anything, he stretched his hand towards Dan and Dan held his out as well. Richard laced their fingers and pulled him onto the sofa. “I love you, Dan. I just think it’s time to let all those childish things go. We’re adults.” He ran his fingers on Dan’s chin gently. “And you, my love, need a shave.”
 Dan frowned; he felt so lost. He wanted to run. He was fed up with all the constrictions, the responsibilities, the eternal office hours and society’s demands on how he should behave. He just wanted to be happy, even for a little while. Why wasn’t that allowed? Why didn’t he have the right to play videogames and wear stupid pyjamas and have fun? He let out a heavy sigh. He felt so drained all of a sudden; if he’d had any energy, he would’ve cried, but he put on a little smile instead. “Could you shave me?” He asked. 
 Richard smiled widely. “Of course, love. Go change and meet me in the bathroom.”
 Dan smiled a little wider and went into their bedroom. It was their little thing, Richard liked to take care of Dan and Dan took care of him too. Maybe he was right, maybe Dan needed to stop wasting time. 
 Dan grabbed his pizza themed pyjamas, but then he shook his head, choosing to put on his Armani pair instead. Then, he grabbed all of his dorky pyjamas and video games and went into the kitchen; he stood beside the rubbish bin for a minute, finally shoving them in before he could regret his decision. The anime would be next, but that was a task for another day.
 He let Richard shave him, lost in thought with his head resting back on the chair. “Do you ever think about switching careers?”
 Richard raised an eyebrow at him and continued slowly dragging the razor on his chin.“No, of course not. Why?”
 “Sometimes I think this is killing my soul, like I’m slowly wasting away.”
 Richard stilled his hands. “Don’t be silly! And what would you do?” He asked with a smile before continuing.
 “I don’t know. I used to act; I’ve always loved theatre and comedy… something related to art, I guess.”
 Richard clucked his tongue and rolled his eyes with an amused smile. “Of course,” he kissed Dan’s head. “Tell you what, if you still want to do that when we retire, I will support you. What do you think?”
 Dan sank in his chair feeling even more empty than before. “Yeah, you’re right.” In a way, he was always acting to be the version of him that everyone expected.
 He stayed up until 4 that night, watching stand up comedy specials and dreaming of a better life that would never come. Maybe achieving your dreams was not all that people made it out to be. He wished he would have allowed himself to make mistakes, but now it was too late. He should have dropped out when he got the chance. Now he was trapped.
 Trapped was the first word clearly standing out in the jumbled mess that was Dan’s thoughts when he woke up.  He opened his eyes and tried to focus on his surroundings. He felt paralyzed, unable to move a single muscle, and a dull feeling of panic enveloped him like a heavy blanket, suffocating him; it rested on his chest like a boulder and made it hard to breathe. ‘Is this sleep paralysis?’. He blinked repeatedly, trying to make sense of the situation, until his eyes finally found what he sluggishly identified as source of his predicament: A very cuddly, sleeping Phil. 
 He was draped over Dan almost completely, his arms tightly wrapped around him and one of his legs tangled in Dan’s.
 Dan tried to move his feet, but that only caused him pins and needles. Disrupted by the movement, Phil wrapped his leg over his and hooked his foot behind his knee.
 Unable to contain himself, Dan snorted. Even in his sleep, Phil wanted to stake his claim on him. Dan sighed - he really loved that silly goose. Unbeknownst to most, Phil was also a cover hogger, which often left Dan feeling cold and vengeful. 
 Taking advantage of Phil’s state, he did the only thing he could think of: he rolled them back onto Phil’s side of the bed and smiled. Now it was his turn to wrap himself around Phil tightly and enjoy the warmth, but he used the covers to shelter them both from the chilly morning air. 
 The first rays of sun peeked above the horizon and Dan couldn’t help but feel incredibly grateful that he had pursued his career with Phil at his side - Phil, his partner in crime, his number one supporter, his companion through life. They had been a great duo for so many years, allowing them to grow as a pair but also as individuals in a secure environment. Now they got to stand beside each other in support and pride. 
 Phil hummed in his sleep as Dan caressed his arms softly, feeling the texture of the hairs there. It felt rough but comforting, like the pavement under the palm after a fall, reminding him he was still alive - overall, it felt real. It reminded him that even though his life felt like a dream, like a fairy-tale someone had written about his life, that was not what it was. It was his reality, no matter how unbelievable it seemed. 
 He sighed. This is what he wanted now. Cuddles in bed with his boyfriend, a career in a field he truly enjoyed, he truly felt himself in, and respect from the people in his life. He had it all, and he was well aware that without Phil’s love, support and encouragement he never would have made it. “Thank you,” he whispered into the quiet of the room, the words building up in his throat and breaking free entirely without his consent.
 “Mm?” Phil mumbled, not opening his eyes, obviously still in his dreamland.
 “Nothing, go back to sleep.” Dan smiled.
 “K. Make me breakfast.” Phil requested, clearly still asleep. “Don’t - let the unicorn eat Norman.”
“Ok, I won’t,” Dan said, dropping a kiss to his chest and settling back to sleep with a sigh. 
 --
 A fine snowfall accompanied his trip through familiar streets, but even the delicate, white flakes did little to turn the scenery more pleasing. They couldn’t cover the piles of old snow at the side of the road, the dirt making them look like a brown slush that just served to make Dan’s inner child very sad. 
 He still remembered when his dad filled his room with artificial snow for his birthday and they had an amazing time playing in it; their laughter had woken up his mom and baby brother who had joined their games. Everything had been perfectly white, but no such luck today.
 Returning to the family home for christmas was always an emotional ordeal and this time was no different. 
 He sighed happily, wiping off the taxi window with his finger to be able to see out. He couldn’t wait to see them all. Once the car reached its destination, he paid the driver and dragged his suitcase out of the trunk. Before he could make it to the door, his dad stepped out, smiling widely and ready to take his suitcase - not without giving him a hug first, though.
 “Hello, son. How was the trip?” his dad asked, already dragging the suitcase to the door.
 Dan shoved his hands in his pockets to shield them from the cold and smiled. “It was good, thank you. Where’s Mum?”
 “In the kitchen with grandma. Adrian went for a run in the woods with Colin.”
 Dan shook his head fondly. “Same as usual then. Popsy? Watching the TV?”
 His Dad laughed. “Yes, I’m afraid.” 
 They made their way inside and shut the door behind them. Robert took the suitcase upstairs while Dan shook his granddad’s hand and went to the kitchen to greet the rest of the family and receive some hugs. He had been craving them more than ever lately. 
 “Oh, Daniel, it’s so good to see you. Come here,” his grandma said, opening her arms for a hug. 
 Dan hugged her tightly. “Hi, I missed you so much.” He never wanted to let go. It was silly, but he felt emotional at being able to see his family again after six months. 
 “That’s easy enough to solve, come visit more often!” his mum said, her arms stretched for an embrace already. 
 Dan hugged her and placed his chin atop her head. “Hi, mummy. How are you?” 
 “Quite well, my dear, but we were looking for someone to help us with the cookies!” she said, stepping away and rubbing his arm. 
 Dan sighed and rolled his eyes with an amused smile. “Ok, but I want real butter.”
 “Ok, she laughed. “It’s in the fridge, let it soften on the counter.” 
 Dan nodded and started to work on the recipe he had been taught so many years ago. At this point it was more a matter of muscle memory than thinking, so he relaxed into his baker role. 
 His grandma placed a hand on his arm trying to get his attention. “Daniel, how is this semester going? Did you get the extension you wanted on that paper?” 
 “No.” He smiled tightly. “Everything is going well. I need to improve some grades but I think I can manage to keep my score.” 
 His mum scoffed. “Of course you can, you always do.” 
 “Certainly, that’s why we never worry about you. How is that boyfriend of yours doing?” 
 “Thank you, grandma.” He kissed her temple. “He is doing well, he is working on his thesis so he will be spending the holidays on campus.” 
 The conversation slowly dissolved but they continued to work in an enjoyable silence. 
 Once the tray was in the oven, Dan finally decided to go back to his old room and flopped onto the bed. He huffed and sat back up, reaching for his suitcase and getting his laptop out. 
 He settled against the headboard and pulled up the latest video from his favourite youtuber, amazingphil. Phil was so gorgeous and fun and smart. Sometimes Dan wondered what would’ve happened if he had actually replied to him on twitter. Sending that dm had been risky enough, so he had dropped it immediately. Besides, he’d had a boyfriend at the time. There had been no reason to go looking for someone else; it wasn’t like Dan to do something like that.
 Dan pouted, ‘Would we have gotten along? What if we would’ve actually become boyfriends?’ He snorted. That was ridiculous. It’s not like someone famous like Phil was going to be interested in Dan, and he had to go to Uni anyway. Once he arrived at campus and settled in, he felt less lonely. It was at university that he opened his heart again and met his current boyfriend. He pressed his lips into a line thinking about the horrible breakup with the previous one. Dan didn’t even like to mention him by name so everyone called him “Voldemort.”
 ’Would Phil have cheated on me? Would have he broken my heart?’ 
 Dan left his computer on the bed beside him and laid down, looking around at the rainbow decorations, some put up by him, some added by his mum after he left. The pictures of them at Pride as a family were his favourites, he was tempted to bring them back to campus with him.
 He was already dreading going back. Oh, how he wished he would’ve stayed a happy child forever, but the older he got the more his loving family expected of him. He was the first child, pampered to no end, every opportunity at his fingertips, and they expected nothing but the best from him. They told him that often enough. 
 They didn’t demand it of him, they just expected it, out of love and support for him. In his family’s eyes, there was nothing wrong that Dan could do, and failing uni was one of those things. So many times during high school he had secretly pulled all nighters to keep his grades up, but now, at university, it was completely different. He felt like he was constantly trying to catch up but he never did. 
 Every single aspect of his life was crumbling, his grades, his health, his relationship and… his mental health. He didn’t have a reason to be sad, he knew that. So many kids wished they had what he’d had all his life, but he was still struggling. He was caving under the pressure, it was pathetic. 
 His boyfriend was going to break up with him, he could feel it coming. His family had been so disappointed when his highschool boyfriend dumped him right before Christmas, they had had to return his presents and all. And now, they had a family vacation coming shortly but it seemed like Dan couldn’t hold a man - or find the right one - he didn’t know anymore.
 His phone dinged, he checked the notification wearily. It was his boyfriend. “This is not working, Dan. I think we need to talk.”
 There it was. Of course, he waited until Dan was away to do this. Dan felt like he was hyperventilating and for a moment he thought that he was going to faint but instead, he started sobbing. Everything looked hazy but he could make out the water coming in from all the windows and doors flooding his room the more he cried. He was drowning in his own sorrows. He stood in an attempt to escape, but before he could even call for help, he found himself in a lake, kicking, trying to swim towards the surface, but he could never reach it. His lungs hurt more and more with every passing second. 
 “Dan? Dan!” a comforting voice called him, he swam to it. A ray of light broke through the water. 
 “Dan, wake up,” the voice whispered.
 Phil brushed his lips against Dan’s face. Dan was crying in his sleep so Phil shushed him and tried to chase the tears away, leaving a trail of kisses as he whispered: “As long as I’m here no one can hurt you.”
 Dan stirred awake and held onto him, continuing to sob so desperately it scared even himself. Sadness rested on his chest like a body of water, like he was trapped at the sombre bottom of the ocean, slowly but steadily getting crushed by the pressure. 
 “What’s wrong?” 
 Dan shook his head and kept on weeping, clutching at Phil for dear life, as if he was the anchor that kept himself from floating away, from sinking even further down into the darkness.
 “Dan, talk to me. Please, you’re worrying me.”
 “Sorry,” Dan tried to let out between his sobs. He struggled to get a grip of himself, to calm himself down, but it still took him a few minutes. 
 “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Phil pressed their foreheads together. 
 Dan swallowed, but nodded. “I had another dream.” He settled onto Phil’s chest, both for comfort and to avoid the piercing stare that only served to rile him up further. 
 “A nightmare.”
 “Mhm. I was home for christmas and everything was perfect.” 
 “That doesn’t sound too bad, what happened?” 
 “They loved me, and accepted me and they thought I was the smartest guy ever.” 
 Phil hummed but let him continue. 
 “In the end, the pressure became too much. Even the fact that they accepted my boyfriend turned into something else they could judge me on.” He sighed and finally met Phil’s eyes. “And the worst part was that I never messaged you back on twitter. We never met. I kept bouncing from one unhappy relationship to another.”
 Phil raised his eyebrows at him but said nothing. 
 “So this boyfriend started to break up with me over text -” 
 This time, Phil interrupted him. “Ouch.” 
 Dan smiled softly. “Yeah, so I started crying and my room flooded. Water kept coming in from everywhere and then it turned into a lake, so I tried to swim but I couldn’t. I was about to drown, but then you called me and I followed your voice. It was like a ray of sunshine flickering through the water.”
 Phil grinned and tightened his hold on Dan. “I knew you loved me. So, what does it mean?” 
 “I think it relates to the other dreams - or nightmares. In each of them I get things I wanted throughout my life so I end up in a very different place than I am right now.” 
 “Would that be so bad?” Phil asked him. 
 “Yes. Everything is as it should be. If I could go back in time, I would do it all over again. There is no life I would rather have than what we have right now.” 
 “I love you so much,” Phil said and kissed him oh so sweetly, their lips barely touching, just letting them rest on his with the weight of a feather. 
 “Love you,” Dan mumbled into the kiss. And he did, he really did. As long as he had Phil’s love and support, he had everything he wanted. 
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natigail · 3 years
Conversation
Social anxious cappuccino ordering | 30.03.2021
Dan: I walked in, and I was just perusing the menu. And this is the thing, right? Let people live in peace, right? If you're going into a store, you don't want somebody coming up to you being like: Hey, can I help? Yeah, well, you can help by leaving me alone. Basically, I just want to vibe in peace.
Phil *giggling*: Yeah.
Dan: So there I was, and look, they were probably lonely, 'cause nobody is going in there buying coffees. I was looking at the board thinking, what do I want to get? And they just go: Hi, what do you want? And I just immediately start to freak out with my social anxiety and awkwardness. And I'm like: Ehm, hmm, I-I want a-a cappuccino. And they were like: Cool. Do you want it iced? And I went: Yes! And then they immediately started making and there was a big sign on the corner that said: Try Our Brand New Oats Iced Cappuccino, It's Oaty, It's Delicious, You're Switching To Oat, It's Cool. And I'm like: Yeah, yep, that's what I want in my head. And I was looking at it, and then I saw the person making the coffee and they picked up the normal milk because I didn't specify yet. Now, a normal person, any NORMAL FUNCTIONING HUMAN would go: Oh, oh, sorry! Can I have oat? But in that moment, I just had that tidal wave of awkwardness wash over me that was like: Dan, you simply cannot inconvenience this person. Ruin the moment, ruin the day, ruin THEIR day, by actually ordering what you want. So I just froze. Like a freaking deer in headlights - except I'm not a deer in headlights on a road in the dark looking at speeding truck wondering what the hell a truck is because I'm a deer - I was a guy in a coffee shop trying to order a beverage. And I just froze and then I watched them, in slow motion, pour normal milk into this cup and then they turned around and looked at me 'cause CLEARLY I'm being weird as hell. And they go: Is everything alright? And I'm like: Yep. [Them:] Is there anything else you want? Another opportunity! And I just went: ... no, that's good. Thank you. And I guzzled my cow cappuccino that I didn't even want because I was too awkward to stand up for myself. So what the hell is wrong with me?
Phil: I can't believe you just-
Dan: What's wrong with me?
Phil: I can't believe you just WATCHED it happen and weren't like: Eh! Sorry, can you change it?
Dan *giggling*: I watched the whole thing happen, it was honestly... what the hell is wrong with me?
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