#and then get sad cause I’m never going to have a relationship like theirs

[obsessedelusional]

religious trauma but make it gay

masterlist

paring ✦ Bella Ramsey x fem!Reader

summary ✦ Bella was your childhood best friend. The one person you felt like you could tell anything. So you do exactly that, coming out to them when you two were still young. Only for Bella to push you away. What happens when they show up at your work several years later?

word count ✦ 3,500ish

authors note ✦ I’m so in love with Bella Ramsey and there’s barely nothing out there. So I took it upon myself lmao hope y’all enjoy!!! Also I’ve never written for a real person so I hope this ok request for Bella open bc I’m a simp rn

COMMENTS AND REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!!

⊹ ꙳ ✦ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹

several years ago

“I think I’m gay.” You admit to your childhood best friend, Bella. The two of you sat in the school yard, parked under a tree.

“What?” She asks, forcing you to repeat the statement you’ve been trying to find the courage to say for months now.

“I think I like girls.” You further explain.

“That’s a sin. You can’t like girls.” Bella spits, bringing tears to you eyes.

“Bella-“ You say their name, letting the tears fall as they interrupt you.

“It’s a sickness, you can get help. My pastor will know exactly what to do.” She says, entirely seriously. Taking your hands in theirs, you quickly push them way. You can’t believe what your hearing.

“I don’t need help. I needed my friend to be there for me.” You stand up from the floor, overwhelmed by the entire situation.

“I don’t think-“ Bella hesitates.

“I don’t think we can be friends anymore.” Her words tremble like their unsure as they come out.

“I knew you were religious but this takes it to a whole another level.” You croak before leaving Bella sat alone under that tree. Part of you thought they’d come back, apologize to you after some time passed. That never happened, ten years of friendship over because of you opened your mouth about your sexuality. At the time you regretted saying anything at all, wishing you had just kept it bottled up inside.

The worst part was when their mother called a couple weeks after the incident basically outing you, offering your mother her pastors number. To your surprise your mom politely declined, she accepted you fully for who you were. It was a bit awkward at first at home but eventually everything went back to normal. That summer you attended your first Pride Parade and felt so seen that the coming school year you came out publicly. Considering the two of you were in the same grade you still saw them around, although never speaking to them again.

After a few years Bella landed her first huge roll in Game of Thrones, leaving your guys hometown behind. You didn’t have to see her face around anymore. Part of you happy for them but sad you couldn’t be in their life to support them. Only to remember they never supported you when you need them most.

present day

It had been several years since you came out, now living your most authentic life. Since then you had a few relationships, nothing too serious. Normally only lasting a few months before breaking up. You had graduated high school, started college shortly after. You got into the college you’d been dreaming of and the major you always imagined yourself as. Your college was a few hours from your home town so you occasionally saw people from there at your part time job. A couple days a week you were a barista at this cute little coffee shop right on the corner of the busiest street.

“What can I get you?” You ask blindly, going through the motions of a transaction.

“Y/N?” The voice on the other side of the counter asks, causing you to look up from the cash register. Looking up you’re greeted by the girl who you hadn’t seen since that depressing day. The day you lost your best friend.

“I can’t believe you work here.” They say, their voice warm.

“Yup.” You say flatly.

“What can I get you?” You ask, trying to quicken this interaction.

“The film I’m working on is filming just down the street for the next few weeks. I’ve been trying to find you for years, you have like no social media.” They admit, completely disregarding your attempt to not make small talk.

“Can I get you something?” You asks again, uninterested in what they have to say.

“Damn I deserve that.” They sigh before muttering off their order and paying. He walks over to the pick up area and you start making their drink. Every time you look up from your work they’re already staring. You can’t help but look too, they’ve changed so much. You’ve seen things about them online and people from your home town loved to talk about the girl who made it big. Always asking, “Didn’t you used to be friends with Bella?”

Once you’re done with their drink, you walk over to where they stand and set their drink down on the counter.

“Y/N wait.” They plead before you can turn your back to them. Against your better judgment you stop, briefly making eye contact. Saying nothing but signaling with your eyes to speak.

“I’m so sorry. I know what I did was shitty. I haven’t stopped thinking about that day since. While I’m still in town I’d like to apologize better like take you out or something so we can talk.” They explain, almost rambling their words.

“I understand if you don’t want to but here’s my phone number. Consider giving me a call or a text or anything, please.” They smile reassuringly pleading with you one last time, passing you a small folded up paper. They leave the coffee shop, drink in hand. You catch your self watching them leave, mind wandering on what you’re gonna do with their number.

Part of you wants to throw it away. An even bigger part of you wants to find out what would happened if you contacted Bella. Maybe their viewpoints have changed, it’s the least you can hope for. Against your better judgement you slip the small piece of paper in your phone case, deciding you’ll worry about it later. The rest of the work day is slow, painfully slow. Nothing to keep your mind distracted from thinking about Bella.

—

“I should be good, if you’re ready to take off.” Your coworker speaks, disrupting your spiraling thoughts.

“Okay,” is all you can say before rushing to clock out. Grabbing your belongings and thanking your coworker before leaving.

Once home you reach for the folded up piece of paper that’s been living in your phone case all day. You hesitate for a few moments before finally mustering up the courage to open it. All that is reads is their phone number, nothing else. You’re not sure how long your sat there staring at the piece of paper but eventually you decide to just shoot them a text.

you: hey it’s y/n

You don’t hear anything back that night. You stay up later then normal stressing about the entire situation. Imagining that it was all some elaborate set up, Bella’s sat up laughing at how stupid you could be to think that they’d want apologize.

The next morning arrives, your alarm goes off bright and early. You have a long day of classes ahead of you. You rush getting ready, picking out the most basic clothes you own. Not it the mood to try, exhausted from the lack of sleep from Bella’s sudden return to your life.

“Girl you good?” A girl you had always been friendly towards in your nine am class asks. You can never remember her name.

“It’s it that obvious?” You let out an exasperated laugh.

“No offense. Your just usually all dolled up and suddenly you look not dolled up. You just look tired.” She laughs.

“Dolled up?” You ask, curiously. For the first time truly noticing the girl who’s always sat near you.

“Yeah you always got them eye lashes and stuff. Not that you don’t look cute today, you always look cute.” They explain poorly. You can’t help but laugh at their way to describe makeup.

“Too tired this morning. Thanks I think?” You smile, she smiles back before the professor walks in and starts class. For a brief moment you forget about the lack of response from Bella. Too busy thinking about the attractive person who low-key just flirted with you. Only for that to be quickly forgotten when your phone vibrates from your pocket. You slyly pull it out laying it flat on your desk, where the professor can’t see. It is Bella, you catch yourself smiling at her name popping up. Stopping yourself immediately from having that type of reaction.

Bella: hey sorry I didn’t respond sooner super late work day only to wake up even earlier to work some more but I have tomorrow off so can we please get together

You decide you’ll respond but make them wait, not nearly as long as you waited. But you’ll stick it to them, make them wait till your out of class. The rest of the period is spent mentally drafting your response. Are you really after all these years ready to meet up with Bella? Maybe.

When class is over you shove all your belongings your bag, rushing to leave so you can send your text. Only to be stopped by that girl from before.

“What class do you have next?” She asks.

“Uhm,” You have to think about it for a moment too distracted by the phone burning a hole in your pocket.

“English in Butcher Hall at one.” You blurt out once you can remember. Normally you either go back to your dorm, grab lunch or study in the library. Today you had planned on going back to your dorm, knowing you weren’t going to be capable of studying.

“Dope. You wanna get lunch or something? I don’t have class till 1 too.” They explain, a smile on their face.

“Oof,” You say aloud, regrettably. The laugh almost as if they’re confused.

“I totally would but I got stuff I have to do before my next class.” You explain, sort of lying. Unsure why your lying just so you can hurriedly respond to Bella.

“That’s fine. Another time maybe?” She asks.

“Yeah.” You smile before walking off, back to your dorm room. They wave goodbye as you leave. When your out of their reach, you pull your phone out and type your message.

you: tomorrow works, I have one class in the morning. I’ll be done around noon. After that is ok

bella: sounds good wanna grab lunch at one?

you: yeah

Bella responds in a short time, sending you the address of a restaurant you never heard of before. You decide not respond anymore, deciding that any talking that needs to be done can be done tomorrow.

—

You had woken up early enough to actually get ready today. Or “dolled up” as the girl from your class would say. Thankfully you didn’t have that class with her today, knowing you couldn’t handle that along with all that is already going on.

After class, you walk quickly back to you dorm. Using the hour you have to dress cuter, fixing up your makeup. Mentally preparing yourself for the conversation that is about to be had. You pull up the address Bella gave you and it’s a cute little Italian restaurant. That’s always been your favorite, for long as you can remember. You wonder for a moment if they remember or if it’s just a coincidence. The drive is short, too nervous to listen to music. Letting your inner dialogue fill the silence. You park near the front door, looking down at the clock on your dash and you have a few minutes to spear. You phone goes off and it’s Bella.

bella: I’m here just let the hostess know your here to see me

All of a sudden it all starts to feel real. Your going to be having lunch with Bella after several years of no contact after coming out to them. It’s not too late to back out, you think for a moment. You have too though, you’ve made it this far. It’s a quick walk from your car to the door, you let yourself in. Greeted by a girl at the hostess desk.

“Hello!” The hostess beams.

“Hi I’m here to meet with Bella.” You explain.

“Right this way,” She smiles grabbing a menu and leading you towards the back of the restaurant where it’s more secluded. Pass the view of the back of the hostess head you can see Bella sat, scrolling through their phone. The sight of them biting their nails, puts some of your worries at ease. Knowing that they’re just as nervous makes this a little easier. Bella looks up from their phone, smiling brightly at you when they notice you.

“You still like Italian?” They ask.

“Yeah I do.” You smile because they remembered.

“I’m so glad you actually showed up.” Bella says examining you.

“After what I did I always thought you’d want nothing to do with me forever.” They explain, you quickly notice them fiddling with the table cloth.

“I’m so sorry.” They say now with a bit of sadness to their voice. Your not entirely ready to forget what happened but the sight of them is tempting you to forgive them on the spot.

“You know you haven’t grown much?” You tease as an attempt to lighten the situation.

“What?” They ask confused.

“You’ve always been so short and that hasn’t changed. You’ve cut all your hair off, I like it.” You let out an awkward laugh.

“We’ll when everyone is old and looks old I’ll still look young.” They laugh, you can tell they’re finally beginning to relax.

“Plus in my line of work it’s a plus. I can continue to play younger roles as I age.” They explain. Which leads to you asking them what they’re in town filming for. The conversation begins to flow smoothly, smiles never leaving either of your faces. You two order and wait for the food to come over. When the conversation eventually lulls, Bella’s face is screaming like she has something she wants to say but can’t get it out. You eyes dart to their fingers that anxiously fidget with the utensils in from of them.

“It’s okay,” You reassure them resting your hand on theirs. You feel them relax under your touch.

“I’m gay.” They spit out.

“Really?” You ask.

“Which is why I reacted the way I did when you told me. I’ve always had feelings for… women. I was raised to believe that it was wrong. I struggled internalized homophobia for years only recently coming to terms with my sexuality. I was so scared at the time.” Bella admits, your hand still rests on theirs. They look to you like they’re waiting for a response.

“I forgive you.” You respond.

“I would of done this sooner. Your just not the easiest person to find.”

“It’s fine Bella. Just promise we’ll stay in touch now, okay?”

“I promise.”

—

They did exactly that. For the rest of their time in town, when ever your schedules aligned you two we’re together. Or they would find any excuse to leave set and stop by for a quick visit when you were working. Getting to know each other all over again, you couldn’t help it forming a crush on them. They made you so happy, the most comfortable you felt around someone in forever. You finally got your Bella back.

Only for her to have to leave you after a few weeks. Her film was moving locations so they’d be several hours away. It was only for a month but you were so torn up about it. They had promised as soon as that month was over, they’d be back in your home town and visiting you as much as possible.

It was a bit awkward when that girl form your class kept making the moves on you. One day your finally let them down gently. It was entirely because of the slight chance with Bella you thought you might have.

You finally got your Bella back only to have separate again. This time though, you were friends. That month was spent on face time calls when ever you got the chance. Always waking up to good morning texts and not going to sleep until you two had a chance to talk on the phone. You can’t remember the last time you had smiled so much. Always checking you phone, biggest smile on your lips. All because of Bella.

—

one month later

“I missed you.” Bella says, wrapping you in a hug. Their head resting in your shoulder, breathing in your aroma.

“I missed you, more.” You tease. You feel them laugh in your embrace before pulling away.

“I may have got me an air bnb for a week or so.”

“Really? I thought this was just a weekend kind of thing.” You say, biting your lip trying your best not to smile too hard. Originally you couldn’t help but be upset when Bella flight was delayed, their 10 am arrival turned into 5 pm. You had thought half your time with them was wasted.

“We’ll you were wrong.”

“I’m glad.” You laugh, following them to your car. Helping them load their luggage. Bella pulls up her maps app and types in the location of the air bnb. You drive, listening to Bella talk about everything that had happened in the last month of filming.

“You’re so cute when you talk about your job.” You respond, letting the word cute slip out.

“What do you mean?” They ask.

“You’re cute. Do I really need to elaborate?”

“I guess not.” They smile. The rest of the car ride is filled with a comfortable silence.

Eventually you two arrive at their temporary home for the week or so. You help Bella unload and follow them to the door, watching as they unlock the lock box that has the house key inside. They open the door for you, you walk inside.

“Wow this place is so nice.” You awe at the beauty of the living room.

“You think this is nice? Come look at the back yard.” Bella leads you to the back yard, it’s so beautiful. Plants everywhere and jacuzzi, wishing suddenly you had brought a swim suit.

“Wow.” You say aloud, noticing the large hanging chair. Big enough for multiple people. It hangs over the deck, with the perfect view of the nature behind the house. Without hesitation you climb into the hanging chair, Bella watches you amused. You let out a screech when it move from your weight. Eventually you fall on your back, looking up at the stars. Bella continues to watch you, enjoying the view of you enjoying yourself.

“Are you not going to join me?” You speak up.

“I guess so.” You laugh at their attempt to climb up, their attempt causing it to swing and sends Bella landing closer to you than they had originally intended. When you didn’t pull away, they didn’t either. The two of you, sit in silence staring up at the starry sky. Eventually Bella is the one to break the silence.

“Can I be honest with you?”

“Of course.” You respond, sitting up on your elbows so you can see them better. They begin speaking, not daring to look at you.

“I said I knew Ialways had feelings for women. Like I always knew I liked women. The truth is I had feelings for you. When you said you were gay, I freaked out because my feelings for you could of become a reality. I think that’s the real reason I pushed you away. I knew I couldn’t be in your life as just a friend but also that I wasn’t ready to be out. I don’t if that makes sense and know I’m rambling. I’m sorry.” Bella finally gains the courage to look at you after their words.

“It’s okay.” You smile, biting you lip. Thinking this is the moment you’ve been waiting for.

“So you’re not mad at me?” Bella asks.

“Not at all. The real question though, are those feelings still there?” You ask, curiously. Your tone a little flirty.

“They’ve always been there. Bumping into you only reignited them. Then you actually said yes to meeting up with me, I couldn’t believe it. I still don’t believe it.”

“Believe it.” You laugh before closing the space between you two. Letting your lips kiss Bella’s for the first time. It takes them a moment to fully register what’s happening, shortly kissing you back. Their hands reach for your head pulling you in closer. You’re the one to pull away, needing to catch your breath. That only lasts a few moments before they’re the one initiate the second kiss. The two of you spend a few hours on the hanging chair. Kissing, laughing and talking about anything and everything. Only going inside because it began to rain. That night you guys stayed up so late, some time around 3am Bella asked you to be their girlfriend. You said yes.

#bella ramsey #bella ramsey x you #bella ramsey x reader #bella ramsey oneshot #bella ramsey pov #bella ramsey fluff #bella Ramsey angst #bella ramsey imagine #tlou #the last of us #ellie williams

[headintheclouds-posts]

Was it worth it - part 2

Seonghwa x Y/N: Angst, potential cheating, some swearing & reference to homophobia (I do not condone)

S/N - Fake GG - Best friends name is Jess but please read as any name you would like.

Synopsis: Following the news that the love of your life is potentially cheating on you with a beautiful girl group leader, you have fled your home hoping to move on from the hurt and pain... but is everything as it seems.

Please read part 1 if you have not already done so, as the story won’t make much sense otherwise ☺️

You knock lightly on the door in front of you before it swings open and a familiar figure stands in the doorframe. Before you can say a word she pulls you into her warm embrace causing the tears to start again. 

‘What a shit’ your best friend seethes as you make yourself comfortable on her sofa. ‘I don’t even know what to think anymore’ you say to your friend. 

You never expected Seonghwa to cheat, you hoped this was all a bad dream and that you weren't really sat here being consoled. ‘I hope he knows that he’s lost’. You shrug in response. ‘Have you seen her, I think if anything he has upgraded’ you choke out the words and bring your hands to your head in an attempt to hold yourself together. Jess makes her way to your side and wraps her arms around you. ‘Don’t say that’ she hushes, ‘you’re the most amazing person I have ever met and if he doesn’t see that, then he’s not worthy of you’ she says, bringing a small teary smile to your face.

Hours have passed since you left and now your looking at the empty bottle of wine on the table and internally scolding yourself. You knew you would regret this is the morning, but right now you needed to drink away your sorrows in a literal sense. 

‘Has he tried to call you?’ Jess asks causing you to break out from your thoughts. You lean over to your bag that has been sat untouched and bring out your phone. A small part of you was hopeful to unlock your phone to hundreds of missed calls and texts begging for you to come home and promising it was all just a big misunderstanding, but unfortunately your hopes were crushed by the blank phone screen. ‘Nothing’ you reply with a thin voice ‘and that’s how its going to stay’. 

You open Seonghwa’s contact on your phone and block the number before going through the rest of the groups and blocking theirs too. Part of you felt bad for blocking the boys numbers, but they must of known what was happening all along and that caused added pain to what you were already feeling. ‘It will get easier you know’ Jess says after throwing back the wine left in her glass. ‘I know, it just hurts so much right now’ you exhale and bite on your bottom lip to stop yourself from crying again. All you wanted to do was climb in bed and hide from the world, hide from the pain and sadness that clung to your heart and just forget everything, so that's exactly what you did.

1 week later.

A week has past since you had left, you can’t say its been the easiest week of your life. Mixed emotions rushed through you constantly, changing your mood every hour. You were grieving the end of a relationship you never expected to end. Some days were filled with sadness, others with anger, but most of the time you just missed him. You missed the way he smelt, the way his smile climbed up to his eyes when he was happy, you missed it all. Social media didn’t help either, every time you opened your phone, it was filled with articles about the loved up couple basically announcing their relationship at the awards show. A lot of fans cheered them on leaving well wishes on their feed, whilst another's shared your sadness and shock to hear this news. 

You phone started vibrating in your hand, pulling you from your thoughts. 

‘Hello?’ you answer.

‘Hello Miss, I am currently outside the front of your property with your delivery’ the voice responds.

Crap you think to yourself, after this week you completely forgot about the grocery shop order you had done the week prior. 

‘I’m so sorry, could you please give me 10 minutes and I will rush over’ you say grabbing your keys and jumping in the car.

‘I am sorry miss but I have loads of deliveries to make today, I can’t wait any longer’ he responds.

‘I understand, could you possibly just leave the bags outside the door and I will be there shortly’ you beg to which he kindly accepts.

After a short drive you find yourself stood in the front of the building you never thought you would return to. You could feel the anxiety pulsating through your body as you make your way inside and take the elevator up to the apartment. 

Once you reach the front of the door, you can’t help but feel confused. You definitely told the driver to leave the shopping outside the door but nothing was there. Did he take everything back?, or has a neighbour brought it in you think to yourself before pressing the keys on the apartment door to figure out what was happening. Once inside, you looked to see if you could find a note or something to prove where your shopping had gone, all whilst trying to push down the nauseating feeling of being back.

You walk over to the kitchen to see empty bags lay on the side. You scrunch your face in confusion and start to open the cupboards to find all your shopping neatly put away. ‘Huh?’ you say to yourself aloud.

‘Baby?’ a voice rings through the apartment, causing you to freeze in your spot. You needn't bother to turn around, you knew that voice more than you knew your own. ‘Baby is that you?’ his voice again cracks through the silence. ‘I am just here to pick up my groceries, I will be out of your hair in a minute’ you respond, voice wavering. You still hadn’t turned around to look at him, because you knew how much it would break you to look him in the eyes again. ‘No, no please stay’ he cries out, hearing the desperation in his voice caused you to finally turn around and nothing could prepare you for what you saw.

Unlike his usual idol appearance, his hair was dishevelled and unkept. His sunken eyes had dark purple rings underneath them and he looked like he hadn’t eaten in days. ‘Hwa’ you almost shouted rushing over to him, he looked as though his legs would buckle beneath him any minute. You needed to put aside your anger and hurt towards him for a moment and check he was ok. 

Once you reach him he slowly sinks with you to the floor and brings his hands up to cup your face. ‘I’ve missed you so much baby’ he says between tears. You took a moment to relish the feeling of his skin against yours before slowly removing his hands and coming to you senses. ‘No’ you whisper standing up, ‘I just need to check you’re ok so I can leave’. His eyes widen and he scrambles to his feet trying to grasp on to you. ‘You don’t understand y/n, it’s not at all what it looked like. Please let me explain’. The tears are now streaming down both of your faces as you try to catch your breath.

You felt all the anger and sadness from the past week wash over you like a wave causing you to snap. ‘You don’t understand Seonghwa, it’s literally tearing me apart to even look at you, because looking at you makes me think about how you used to be mine, the person I was supposed to grow old with, the person I would do anything for’ you don’t even recognise your own voice anymore, it’s a mix between fury and sadness. Your cries are loud and you’re almost hyperventilating whilst trying to speak. ‘It’s sad how one minute you can have everything and the next I’m watching the man I love basically announce he is with someone else’.

You turn to leave, afraid of how much your emotions have taken over but before you do a hand grabs your wrist and your pulled into Seonghwa’s chest. You don’t even bother fighting back as you weep uncontrollably into his chest. ‘Baby, I promise you it’s not what it seemed like, please let me explain’ he hushes you gently rubbing your back trying to console you. ‘I can’t let you go until you have heard me out’ he says again slightly pulling you away so he can look you in the eyes. You don’t really know how to explain it, but something in the way he looked at you made you believe that maybe there was another side to the story.

Once you had managed to calm down slightly you take a seat on the sofa whilst Seonghwa makes you a cup of your favourite tea. Once the tea is finished he hands it to you and sits opposite scanning your face nervously.

‘I don’t even know where to start’ he says exhaling loudly. ‘From the beginning Hwa’ you reply sternly, whilst using your thumb to circle the rim of your mug. ‘Remember those news articles from a while ago, linking me and Minali together’ he asks, causing you to twitch slightly at the sound of her name. You nod slowly and bite down on your bottom lip. ‘I promised you then that it was all made up, and I want you to trust me with the story I am about to tell you’. You take a deep breath and tell him to go on.

‘When we arrived at the awards ceremony, I knew something was going on, everything seemed so tense within our team. Our manager seemed really distant and asked me if he could have a brief chat with me before the show started’ he says calmly. ‘I was so confused y/n, I was the only one out of the group being asked to go and speak with him’. You can see his bottom lip start trembling before he starts again. ‘I was led to a small room backstage and when I entered I saw Minali and her manager sat on a chair opposite from the door, her eyes were bloodshot from crying, at first I thought it was because that stupid news article linking us together, but then I realised that the stupid news article was actually being used for something I couldn’t of imagined’.

You furrow your brows and leaned closer to Seonghwa in confusion but also anticipation. ‘I took a seat and asked what was happening, I’ve literally never been so confused in my life baby’ he says wearily. You tried to push aside how your stomach still fills with butterflies every time he calls you baby and continued to listen. ‘It turns out that someone got some information on Minali, the type of information that could ruin her career, so our agencies decided together that they would try and milk the news article and use it to crush any possible information that came out’. You blinked a couple of times before speaking, ‘so the agencies decided to get you both to pretend your dating so Manali’s secret wouldn’t be exposed?’. He nods in response to your question. You let out a small laugh in shock, ‘that doesn’t explain everything Hwa, why did she answer your phone and why didn’t you call me to explain the situation?’ you ask bluntly. ‘I’m getting to it baby’ he says placing a hand on yours. ‘I was so shocked when they told me this grand idea that I couldn’t even speak, but then when they told me more information about what Minali was going through, there was no way I could not help. It was supposed to be just an act for that one event, so I agreed but I wanted to speak to you first as I knew if I explained everything to you, you would understand’. At this point you had so many questions, your mind was racing fast but you let him continue.

‘Before I even had chance to call you the event started and I had to put on this fake act to get people to believe were actually together. I want you to know that I hated it and I thought about you the whole time. The rest of the group were so confused as they had no idea what was going on. After everything finished, both groups were brought to the same room to have some sort of de-briefing as to what was happening. I can’t even tell you how heavy with tension the room felt. After that everyone chatted briefly and I needed to go to the bathroom before calling you and explaining everything. I knew already how hurt you might be so I wanted to let you know the situation, but by the time I got back, Minali advised me that a woman had just called my phone and she answered it’. He was explaining this all to you as fast and as clearly as he could, all whilst rubbing his thumb against your hands in a calming way. ‘I literally had never grabbed my phone so fast but at that point the battery had already died. Minali didn’t even know I was in a relationship at that point so when I explained it to her, she felt so guilty and asked if she could speak to you and apologise for everything. I literally couldn’t even think, everything was happening so fast, so I put my phone on charge before we were dragged to another interview and then to take pictures with some fans. My mind was numb, all I wanted to do was hear your voice and tell you how sorry I was, but by the time I called you the call wouldn’t connect. I’ve never been so scared in my life y/n, I raced back home as soon as I could but by the time I got here, you were gone.’ Tears quickly escaped his eyes and he dropped his head down and pressed his face into your shoulder.

‘I’m so confused Hwa’ you whisper. So many thoughts rush through your head at once, you could barely get your head around what you had been told. He brings his head up to look at you in the eyes, ‘I would never ever cheat on you, you’re my favourite feeling baby and I will do anything to make it up to you’ he whimpers desperately clinging on to you. You could tell from the look in his eyes that he was being sincere and you knew that there wasn’t really anything he could do about the situation, but that didn’t mean that it made things all better.

‘Both agencies, our management team, the boys and Minali have all said they will talk to you about it if you want any more reassurance’ he explained. ‘I know it wasn’t the best situation, but I don’t want you to ever think I could possibly cheat on you’. Your tense body had now unravelled a little by his words, but there was still something hanging in your mind.

‘What if down the line you both start to fall for each other whilst keeping up this fake relationship?’ you question him. He brings his hand to your face, slowly brushing your hair away from your eyes. ‘Firstly, it was only for the awards night. Nothing else is going to happen after this, our agencies will not make any statements about it and myself and Minali will not speak on it either. Secondly, how could I ever fall for anyone else, when I have been blessed to have my whole world in one person’ he smiles. ‘What about Minali?, does she have feeling for you?’ you ask him. He sits upright and takes a deep breath before speaking. ‘Thats how this whole thing started y/n. Minali will never have feelings for me, or any other guy for that matter’. 

The realisation hit you in an instant...poor Minali you thought to yourself. Seonghwa continues that some idiot had threatened to leak private information about Minali and her girlfriends relationship on the night of the awards show, thus forcing the agency to take action to stop her career and her life from being ruined. It hurt you to think how some people could not be accepting of love between two people and you finally understood why your kind boyfriend stepped in to stop a young woman's life from being exposed to the general public.

‘Hwa’ you say, looking your boyfriend in the eyes. ‘I am sorry I jumped to conclusions, I just felt so scared and..’. He brings his finger up to your lips to stop you from talking. ‘Dont ever apologise for your feelings, it was me that messed up. I spend so much time with work that I don’t think about how that affects you, between that and this situation I know that I have let you down. I know that I don’t have the right to ask, but please let me spend the rest of my life making it up to you’. 

Happy tears flow from your eyes at his words as your grasp his face in your hands and bring your lips to his. Though everything that had happened over the past week had exhausted both of you physically and emotionally, one thing was for certain, love really can concur anything.

‘By the way, Minali wants to know if we could do a double date sometime?’ he asks after you have broken apart from your kiss.

‘Sounds good to me’ you smile back, happy that you’re finally back with your forever and after a series of unfortunate events, Minali could happily spend her life with hers. 

I am sorry if this is not the ending everyone wanted. I had the worst writers block with this one and also my internet shut down when I first wrote the ending making me loose my work.

Anyways, hope I have manged to not miss anyone out in the tag lists below :)

@belle643​ @yeosxxx​ @atinytinaa​ @mixling-blog​ @kimlineownsme​ @kpopnightingale​ @jxrdxnh​ @plants-w0rld​

#kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop reactions #kpop angst #ateez #ateez scenarios #ateez x reader #ateez fluff #ateez imagines #ateez angst #Seonghwa #seonghwa scenarios #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa reactions #ateez x y/n #seonghwa x you #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa x y/n #park seonghwa #ateez fanfic #kpop smut #ateez smut #seonghwa angst #kpop timestamps #ateez timestamps #ateez soft hours #ateez comfort #ateez boyfriend

[camojacketfag]

when do you stop feeling like you're waiting for your life to start? im 22 and ive accomplished nothing, it feels like im at a standstill.

Well, for starters, I had a breakdown in a meijer parking lot at 8:15pm yesterday, sobbing to boygenius as I was telling myself that I’ve paused my life for the past four years to try and heal from crippling childhood trauma and therefore I haven’t really had the chance to truly have fucking fun and live life man.

My 20s have been a lot of healing and slowing down as life continues to move past me so fucking quickly. I told myself I was gonna have fun this year and instead I got my heart broken, I relapsed in my OCD, I cut ties with a shit therapist who invalidated me time and time again and I played far too many video games. Through out it all I also lost so many friendships who don’t fully understand how debilitating OCD truly is and my current social life consists mostly of imaginary conversations I have inside my head. But hey, we’re still fucking kicking! What really defines an accomplishment man? Whose timeline are you comparing yourself too? Most of the lives constantly being lived so publicly are led by neurotypical people with such big opportunities very different from lives like ours man. Therefore you’re doing yourself a disservice to try and compare your life to theirs. Acceptance is the hardest pill to swallow. I truly despise patience. Yet I also have to come to terms with the fact that I move at a much slower and methodical pace than everyone else around me. I know in the long run I’ll be grateful I decided to heal now as opposed to later but I still feel so fucking robbed man. Of time. And opportunities. And life. Time that I may never get back. Time in which others my age spent developing their careers or social relationships, I was stuck in my little room listening to sad lesbian music and having no one around but my dog and the obsessive thoughts that felt intensely unavoidable. I’d say life, or at least the life you’re talking about, will never truly start man. That life is just a piece of fiction. I guess what I’m trying to say is that life has already started, it’s just waiting for you to notice. Your perception is just warped, much like mine, but I know that although I can list all of these awful things that have happened over these past four years, I know that nudged somewhere in between it all, I’ve still lived. I saw some sick ass concerts, I gave myself my first stick and poke, I got drunk and shared to much, I allowed myself to question love and it’s mechanisms and meaning, I started a photo blog and have steadily worked towards creating what I see everyday in to something others can relate or come back to, I got punched in the face, I busted my lip trying to open a bottle of vodka, I drank to much caffeine and felt like I’d ascended to a higher state of consciousness. After I relapsed, I felt broken man. So much new trauma I’d have to go back to and stitch up all caused by trusting a professional who only made me believe that my own personal experience of the things I’d gone through was actually wrong. Yet somehow, it ended with me finally believing myself once more. And vowing to never let anyone make me feel like she did ever again. 11 years of trauma and hard work doesn’t deserve to be so easily destroyed just because you have a degree and I don’t. Still, I believed myself again. I believe myself now. And I know going forward that if we continuously compare ourselves to lives being lived that will never cross paths with ours then all we’re gonna do is spend eternity wondering when it will ever finally fucking begin. I promise you, it already has, and although I don’t know you, and you might believe that it’s been more bad than good, or that it’s not as valuable when compared to others achievements at your age, it’s still yours, and there’s still time, and it’s always been there, it’s just waiting for you to notice.

#one of these days I’m gonna just reply lol I don’t know to everyone’s asks lol #just kidding #if I have something to say you better believe im gonna say it #anyhow #asks #revelations

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy 4th to all those who celebrate it in the states. If not then just happy Tuesday to you haha

We are onto s2! I’m excited this season has a plethora of goodies. Let’s get started on said goodness hehe

2x01 Impact

The episode starts off with a bang. Lucy is riding in the ambulance with Tim. I'm sure the paramedics didn’t fight her at all with joining him. Not like they could’ve stopped her anyway haha

Just when Lucy thought she could breathe Tim collapses. The amount of worry on her face as she watches him have a seizure…. Luckily it’s a reaction to vaccine and not the infection. It’s severe reaction though and he goes into anaphylactic shock. Lucy trying to keep it together as they rush him to the hospital.

They make it to the hospital when they find out there is one more terrorist waiting in the wings for them. The minute they pull in they start to shoot up the ambulance. Just like Lucy did for her dad in 1x17 not a second passes before Lucy is covering his body with her own. Willing to take bullets for him in order to protect him. God I love her. Doesn't hesitate for one second to be a human shield for Tim. My heart.

They’re all pinned down by this woman with her assault rifle. It's then Tim comes barreling out of the ambulance like the BAMF he is. Tim takes her ass out single handled. He asks Nolan if he is ok. Nolan says yeah he shouldn't have reloaded on the go. John asks him the same thing and his reply to Nolan is hilarious. 'Should've taken yesterday off' LOL I love it. Little humor to start the season.

We surge two weeks into the future after this. They’ve all taken their exams and Tim has had time to recover from his ordeal. They're all in roll call waiting for Grey. Lucy is asking how Tim is feeling. You can tell by his body posture how guarded he is with his answers. Just telling her he's ready to get back out there. Very reminiscent of early s1 Tim with her. We find out Lucy sent him food. (Of course she did. She’s an empathetic nurturing soul.) She cares about him so she’s going to take the steps to show that. Make him feel cared for. It's something that is very foreign to Tim and it shows.

For Tim he’s so used to carrying burdens alone, having to be second place no matter the relationship, being the protector not the protected, and being the one to take care of everyone and everything. He’s most definitely isn’t used to being taken care of. In walks Lucy Chen. Someone who lifts him up and wants to take care of him when he’s down. Like Lucy not knowing how to handle Tim’s compliments, Tim doesn’t know how to handle someone putting him first. Caring, protecting him etc.

Lucy is just so happy he is back you can see it on her face. She was hoping/expecting more of a nice reaction from him. Considering what they both just went through together. Throws her off when he doesn’t respond positively. He's currently doing a throwback to early closed off Tim and she isn't quite sure why.

Grey interrupts before Tim can reply and be any colder to her. He writes up their scores on the board. 97. 91. 81. Tells them they all passed but the 81 is ugly. Wants them to self reflect on which one is theirs. He will tell them by end of shift. He says good news is they all get to be out of long sleeves now.

They’re all discussing the scores naturally. Angela says he looks worried. Tim says he’s never had a rookie score as low as 81. She says first time for everything ha. Tim defends Lucy and says she’s a natural born test taker. No way she scored that low. He is sure it’s Nolan lmao Oh Tim your dislike of him amuses me so.

Lucy joins them in her short sleeves. Tim asks her what she’s doing? She seems so perplexed why he’s angry with her. She says Grey said they could switch over. Tim goes off on her and says she will wear her long sleeves and tie till end of probation. That he gets full discretion over her uniform cause she’s his boot. She walks away so sad and defeated. S1 Tim viscously rearing his head. The boys ask where she’s going when they pass her. She replies so sadly ‘To change back…’

They pull up to a park and get out of their shop. Tim tells her to stop pouting. Lucy bites back and says she isn’t. She then asks what they’re even doing here? Tim goes on to say if she thought it was going to get it easier after the exam she was wrong. Lucy is snarky in her reply ‘Awesome…’ She is already over his reversion back to early s1 hard ass. It's written all over her face.

He clearly heard her but asks what was that? She says nothing….Lucy knows its like poking an angry bear right now. So she avoids the conflict. (For now..) Tim asks her what the most important thing she needs on the street as a cop? Lucy runs through a list of things Tim doesn’t want as her answer haha Then settles on her judgement and Tim says no it’s her cop eyes. They're at this park for a Tim test. Clear he’s gonna be surly af for this one.

Tim asks her if she studied explosives in the academy? She says a little. Tells her he’s hidden a fake IED in the park for her to find. She has ten minutes to find it or he’s adding the duty hat to her uniform. Legit torturing her today with this test. Lucy starts to panic look through out the park.

She finds it in a barrel. Lucy is so proud of herself with this one. Tim is being an extra pain in the ass today. She’s so ready to prove him wrong. That him turning the heat extra high doesn’t affect her. She turns around and is all cocky saying she found it. Even those he's an absolute ass in this scene just like in the van scene in 1x14 looking fine as hell have to say. Especially way he puts his leg on that table. Its criminal you are this attractive Eric LOL

Tim pretends he can’t hear her. So she falls into his trap and uses her radio to tell him when the ‘bomb’ explodes on her. She is mortified and covered in flour. Tim continues the hard ass theme. Saying radios energy can set off a bomb. Ask her 'If she’s going to forget that lesson boot?' She replies No….Sigh poor Lucy. In his warpath this episode. She just can't figure out why.

Their next call brings them to a husband reporting his wife missing. Lucy feels bad for the guy and Tim doesn’t. Tells her Cop eyes again. Saying it’s always the husband who did it. Lucy once again snarky back asking if this is his first rule of domestics lol Tim is unchanging in his hard demeanor. Tells her it’s not a joke. That she’s too new to properly assess people yet. She should be showing suspicion not compassion as her default. Lucy looks annoyed as hell. Getting to her boiling point with his sour attitude.

Lucy’s irritation comes to a head when they return to the station. She asks him what he’s doing? Tim states the obvious and says clocking out and going home. She is more direct and asks why he is treating her like it’s day 1 all over again? He says because it is day one for her with phase 2 of her training. Lucy is further agitated. Asking if she’s lost all the respect she’s earned since then? Then Tim finally shows his hand on why he’s so angry. Tells her she lost that when she lied on a report.

It all comes together for Lucy. This is why he’s been such a grumpy bear all day. She finally understands why he’s been such a hard ass. Her reaction is incredulous. She’s honestly shocked he’s reacting this way. Lucy thought it was pretty obvious her actions were to protect him. Tim rattles on about procedure and code. How she should’ve reported him. She truly doesn’t understand why he’s mad at her for protecting him.

The look on Tim’s face in the second gif. He looks in shock Lucy did that for him. He’s so caught up on her lying on a report he didn’t stop to think she was doing it to protect him. Oh my broken baby. As I stated earlier he’s not used to being the protected. It was Lucy’s first and only instinct to edit that part out to safeguard him. To me this is the most tragic part of it all. Is he NEVER expected this from her. When he read that report all he saw was her not following procedure. Instead of what it really was...Which was her shielding him. Deep down I think part of him knew this but he couldn't accept it hence him lashing out like he is.

Lucy goes on to explain why she protected him. Because Tim clearly isn't understanding why she did it. How she knew Tim wasn’t really suicidal. He just needed to vent his stress and anxiety to her in that moment. That she didn’t want him to have to go through unnecessary therapy. To lose him as her T.O. over something that could hurt his career and their time together. Tim regains some of his composure and goes back to the company line BS. Saying how it wasn’t her call to make. That everyone should be reported consequences or not. Now here comes the best part of this entire scene. Of the episode really IMO.

Lucy destroys him with her reply. This is one of the reasons Tim falls so hard for her. The fact that she calls him on his shit. Not only does that but pulls his head out of his ass. Then promptly hands it back to him on a silver platter with her Isabel retort. She owns this scene after this. What's so damn impressive is Lucy can go toe to toe with him and win. She challenges him in a way no one has before and puts him in place when he needs it.

And he very much needs it in this moment. That final gif is his realization of that. Lucy delivers her K.O. punch and leaves him standing there with regrets about his behavior. He has no leg to stand on after she eviscerates him with her comments. Telling him not to hang his anger on his ‘code’ when it’s clearly not about that. Her calling him out and rightfully so like she did back in 1x03. When he was putting her in harms way as his therapy about Isabel.

Lucy tells him the hard stuff when he needs to hear it most. You know I love my Tim but hot damn did he need this Lucy knockdown. He admires her for it even when it’s hard for him to swallow. The way he just stands there it’s hitting him he took this reaction way too far. He’s forgetting how stressful that entire situation was for her as well. This ass chewing he just got is a stark realization of that. Also you know part of that chemistry of theirs is scenes like this. That fire and passion between them both. Ooh lord I love it.

Grey reveals their scores. We find out Lucy got a 91. She is immensely relieved and Tim is smiling ear to ear. Tim is good at burying a lot of things, being proud of Lucy has never been one of them. Look at this man beaming for her. He knew she would get a high score. He couldn’t be happier about it. Written all over his body language I love it sfm. I keep saying Eric is amazing with expressing so much with just a look. Its because he is look at that man. Pride x1000 in his girl.

The cute proud husband theme continues. Lucy spots a fake cop in the parking garage stealing a radio. She chases him out of there and jumps a wall in order to pursue him. I LOVE Tim asking if she’s okay first thing. It’s the softness in his voice that gets me. She is smiling and says yeah. Lucy is first beaming cause Grey seems impressed with her.

Then more so when Tim does his version of being proud of her. She rolls her eyes a bit but you know she’s happy to have him singing her praises. He could not be prouder of her if he tried in his scene. Anytime she does exactly what he knows she capable of he is elated. Also being proud in front of Grey is even better for Lucy. This is big brag for Tim about her. ❤️

Later on they figure out one of the fake cops leads them to the wife that went missing. Lucy asks if Nolan needs backup they say no. Lucy can’t help herself and takes a little dig at Tim. She has the high ground atm and knows it. Throwing the husband comment back at him. Tim doesn’t even reply. Just has a small smirk on his face. You know he loves her pushing his buttons and giving him crap. They aren’t at the point of apologies just yet. This is as close as we’re getting for them right now. It’s pretty cute.

Their final scene is them working in harmony like they do. Taking down the fake cops for the most part on their own. I love watching them work in the field. They’re so fluid and move without issue. That silent communication and such. Poetry in motion I would say.

Thus ends the Chenford portion of the S2 premiere.

~~~

Side notes non Chenford

The opening scene for Wopez always cracks me up. Wes seeing a side of Angela he hasn’t before. Her messy side. Him finding the sandwich in the shower LOL His face kills me he’s so grossed out and she thinks it’s natural af hahaha They cute.

#Caitlin rewatches The Rookie #chenford #chenford hiatus #summer rewatch #s2 #2x01 Impact #the rookie #tim bradford #lucy chen #tim x lucy #eric winter #melissa o’neil #lucy x tim #otp: you know me so well. too well. #otp: doing my job #tim bradford x lucy chen #waiting on s6

[gifted-loser]

The Grief of Having a Trans Child

I am mother to an amazing kid.

Assigned female at birth, but — cheeky as he is in all things — he let me know he doesn’t do assigned seating.

I’ve always been an ally. I’ve always surrounded myself with unique people who are authentically themselves, despite what the majority deems traditional. And though I am a cis woman with what may be deemed a very, um, basic aesthetic, I’ve never held much stock in fitting in.

I pride myself in being a mother who does not live vicariously through her children, or see them as an extension of herself. They’re autonomous human beings who I happened to manufacture, yes. But it’s always been important to me to lay a foundation not rooted in indoctrination, but in strong critical thinking skills.

For example, I haven’t been religious in many years. However, I am from Mississippi, arguably the most religious and ignorant and most definitely poorest state. I did not want to make my children’s mind up about what, if anything, they believed about religion.

I allowed them to attend church with family when THEY wanted to. When they decided they didn’t want to go any longer, I didn’t let anyone force them. I taught them not to make knee-jerk decisions, half-cocked on partial information, but to take in all sides of any argument and use logic to make up their own minds.

And damn, I did a great job because I can hardly win an argument anymore.

My long-winded point here is: it may surprise a lot of people to know how grief-stricken and conflicted I felt when my child came out to me as trans.

As an ally, I’d never had a fraction of negative emotion concerning anyone else’s preferences. You may wonder why, then — if I was truly an ally and as open as I claim — would I feel anything but happiness for my baby becoming who they were meant to be?

And this is the part that I think people should hear that I’m not seeing often made clear from a parent’s perspective. This is because, at first glance, it may appear transphobic in nature. In my case (I’m not saying every case), it’s much more complex.

So why would a non-transphobic, LGBTQ ally parent have such an adverse and upset reaction to learning their child is trans?

Explaining to the best of my ability, first and foremost I was hurt because I realized my child was hurting.

That this body — the body I made with my body, the body I rocked and held and dressed and kissed its fat cheeks — was so perfect to me.

Yet, to my child who means the world to me, this body caused grief. This body caused heartache and dysphoria and even suicide ideation.

Intellectually, I knew this had less than nothing to do with me. But emotionally, I was distressed.

Is this my fault, that my child hates their body? Did I fail to give my child confidence to love themself? Did I not instill enough body positivity, or possibly did I complain about my own form too often, causing my baby to question theirs?

How could my child hate what I thought so amazing and perfect, and what could I have done to make my baby love themself as I had always loved them?

It wasn’t just about the fact that I’d always seen perfection there; it was the pain and turmoil that my kid not only didn’t see perfection, but literally saw their physical body as their biggest obstacle in life.

It was the pain the body caused them, that also pained me.

Honestly, it still does.

The second wave of grief came not from what was, but what would never be.

All those images in my head of what our relationship would look like. Prom dresses and manicures and wedding gowns. If I’m being honest and had been paying attention, I’d have known none of those things were going to happen — not in that cookie-cutter way — regardless.

This grief was much easier for me to get over. This year I helped him dress in his matching white tux to go with his boyfriend to prom, and I bawled my eyes out. Not out of sadness, but with happiness that he was so happy, and because he is so freaking cute.

Now, I’m left with the third wave of sadness and grief. And it all stems from the fact that there’s a great big world out there that I can’t fix for him.

He’s in danger just by walking down the street. He’s in danger just by existing. And I live with the fear that some horrible person will attempt to end my child’s life out of ignorance and hatred. Someone who doesn’t know or doesn’t care that his favorite thing in the world is kittens. Or that he makes sure his little sister gets on and off the bus safely every day, even though he pretends he can’t stand her. Or that even though he calls me by my first name to his friends, when no one is listening he still calls me Momma.

Given the murky political waters of late, that fear isn’t going away anytime soon. It is growing.

So I hope sharing my own struggles with a child coming out as trans may help other parents in similar situations understand they’re not alone. It’s okay to have complex and even mixed, conflicting emotions to sort through. It is a process. For them, and for us.

And I hope any trans person struggling with understanding their parents’ feelings may benefit. Because not everyone will deal with difficult emotions the same. It may look like grief; it may look like denial, or even rage. But it also may help to know that sometimes those ugly emotions stem from softer ones. Not everyone is able to articulate or manage such a tidal wave of intense, deeply personal emotions.

You are worthy.

You shouldn’t have to deal with disrespect or rejection of your true self. That’s not okay. But if your parents love YOU, not their idea of who you SHOULD be, but YOU — don’t give up. They may need more time than you thought, but true love always wins.

As for myself, I’m an imperfect person just trying to do the best I can, like the rest. I don’t always get it right, and I have and will most likely fail my children again at some point — not intentionally, but because that’s the nature of being human. We’re prone to errors and mistakes. None of us, no matter how well-intended, are spared from that singular truth.

However, for anyone struggling with an unsupportive family, country, world — I want to let you know that YOU ARE WORTHY. And just like MY SON is still perfect, so are YOU. ❤

#transgender #lbtqia #lbtgq #writers on tumblr #writers and poets #parenting

[yourstrulyaiko]

o𓆩♡𓆪; MY HAPPY ENDING PT.2 | HEADCANON 𓆩♡𓆪  

╰┈➤ featuring; boku no hero academia! drummer! bakugou katsuki! x lead singer! fem! reader  

જ about; Heartbreaks. Aches. Dreams shattered. You feel like there was no bridging between you and your goal as an artist. Especially since the bridge that connected you that was your ex-boyfriend, Shindo, who you met at club. Now, that you’re separated. You thought, that was it. No more. Well, you thought wrong.

જ contents and warning; profanity cause bakugou is on it, asshole bakugou, cigarettes, smoking, angst, drummer bakugou, band au, fluff, romance, drama, paparazzi, cheating, break ups, toxic relationships, getting physical (the bad kind) and many more that I have definitely missed.

જ author's note; I actually have a lots and lots of chapter about band au which needs to be revised and re-written. unedited. this is long.

The concert in Tokyo was such a success. It was unexpected if you were being honest.

Since Tokyo Lights is independent who produces their own music video and music, many companies were willing to sign you.

The Tokyo show was going viral everywhere now that you, the lead singer has proven themselves to worthy.

A lot of fans are turning around and willing to give you a chance.

Tokyo Show attendees are tweeting out things like;

“THE BEST SHOW EVER. I was a bit of skeptic of this lead singer (First name) because Camie is amazing, I was even willing to cancel my ticket. But, I’m glad I didn’t. Controversial opinion, (First name)-san is way better of a vocalist.”

“I’m so glad that I didn’t cancel my ticket. So worth it. Where’s the day 2 show?”

“You can’t even compare (First name) and Camie. Camie is an okay vocalist compared to (First name). She’s on another level.”

“Out of all the concerts I’ve been to, this one is the best. (First name) really brought out the amazing rush. Would be willing to spend VIP.”

Remember those fans who cancelled their tickets?

After, seeing all the clips and tweet about the Tokyo show. They’re willing to re-purchase it. A good majority are them are spending more because of it.

Of course, there’s still people that refuse.

But, there are fans that are casual listeners are now spending a bit of money to come see Tokyo Lights.

All their music before you? Well, now apparently, it’s not Camie who sang it.

It’s you.

They’re charting. Going viral. Everyone is talking about Tokyo Lights?

The downfall?

Nope, you thought that was the heights of their career. You joining the band is the height of Tokyo Lights.

Let’s talk about the first song you wrote in the band. My Happy Ending.

It took two days for you to write the lyrics.

Major news site and gossip sites are talking about you and the song you wrote.

Jirou revealed you took a bit of control when it comes to production. She said,

“I’ve never produced for someone like her. She’s not just a singer. She’s an artist.”

“Honestly, I loved it too when she told me about producing freely. Do whatever I want. Then, we can tweak it together.”

Now, everyone is going crazy.

It’s climbing up the charts really quickly

Everyone is writing about Tokyo Lights.

It’s overwhelming. The amount of eyes on the band.

“New Lead Singer of Tokyo Lights, (First name) proves haters wrong.”, “An upcoming band of the year?” “Song of the Year? My Happy Ending”, “Why you shouldn’t underestimate Tokyo Lights.” “Camie, who? (First name) is here to save the day.

My Happy Ending charted and skyrocketed to number 1. Both in Japan and Globally.

The tour that seen as a big flop?

Well, now it’s back to sold out.

Fans who cancelled are rapid tweeting,

“UGH. I shouldn’t have cancelled.”

“DOES ANYONE HAVE GOLDEN CIRCLE? I SOLD MINE AND NOW I WANT IT BACK AFTER HEARING ABOUT THE SHOW BEING THE BEST.”

“I’m so fucking sad about selling my VIP ticket. No one is willing to sell theirs. Day 2 for Amsterdam pls.”

“I’m looking at my friend with jealousy. I cancelled. She didn’t. KMS.”

The band is overwhelmed so they decided to put up statement on their official social platform

“Hey, everyone! Tokyo Lights here.

Everything is moving forward to quickly. We know, from our previous lead singer leaving to a completely new one. We thank Camie for being with us. We wish you all the best.

In this time, we can’t afford to sit around. This is our dream and passion, we have to keep moving forward. With the surge of new fans and old fans, we can’t thank you enough for giving (First name) a chance. We know it’s a lot to ask.

We are speechless. We can’t formulate our thoughts. We know that you demand more shows but, we have an upcoming project to bring before kicking it off to another world tour. Please be patient with us.

Love,

Tokyo Lights”

People are hyped.

A new upcoming project definitely means an album.

Now, let’s get back to the band.

Everyone; Mina, Jirou, Sero, Denki, Kirishima, Bakugou and you are going out drinking to celebrate for the successful show.

Since, I didn’t talk about everyone’s appearance and role.

I’M GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT 

Bakugou 

The dummer.

Is a fit and big guy he’s one of the tallest

Bakugou is definitely the most muscular out of all them,

THICK THIGHS

He has those arm band tattoo around his bicep

A dragon with the head on his pec and the body goes up his shoulder around to his upper back then the tail around to his other shoulder.

So it looks like it’s just hanging around his neck.

One on his upper arm.

He is decorated.

He also has a couple piercings; on his tongue, a helix and orbital on his left ear and ofc a lobe.

Kirishima 

The electric guitar player

He’s fit, big and tall

This man is almost 6ft7

He’s big and big

THE TALLEST. Everyone is always intimidated by him

He doesn’t have any tattoos but he is pierced

A bar on his left eyebrows, a nostril eyebrows and lip.

Feel free to find out where his other piercings are.

He wears clothes alright. Not properly.

His toned torso is always showing especially when he’s performing.

Denki

Bassist

He’s the shortest out of the boys

And he’s not super muscular.

But he’s got buff arms.

Veiny ones too

He has ear piercings; helix, spider lip piercing and lobe ones 

He’s defo planning to get more.

He has some tattoos but not so much.

It’s one of those small ones.

This man wears a lot of rings 

Sero

The pianist

Also, the creative director

Always wearing a beanie

Doesn’t matter if its hot.

He’s wearing it

Now, it’s an official merch of Tokyo Lights

Especially for the Sero ladies, they have all the different colours

He has piercings; on his ears helix motherfucker is stacked, septum, eyebrows, lips and on the bridge of his nose too

Tattoos inside of his arm

Mina

The stylist and makeup artist.

She doesn’t have much piercing surprisingly

Only her helix and lobe

Has bright pink hair

It reaches about to her upper back

No one has ever seen this girl without pink hair

Jirou

The producer and manager

Has highlights

Always wearing leather jackets

DEFO HAS TATTOOS YOU CAN’T CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE

The minimalist and tiny ones 

On the back of her neck, wrists and her rib,

Anyways

Back to the headcanon.

Out to a nice restaurant. It’s your first time being in a fancy restaurant.

Shit.

There’s a fucking chandelier in the middle of the room

They got candles and shit. They got those fancy ceilings too

You’re admiring everything cause a broke bitch got to.

Then, in the midst of your trance, Bakugou bumped into you

(Purposefully too)

He grunts at you

“Hurry the fuck up.”

Okay then... Bitch

You’re at the front desk. While Sero was talking to the front deak lady,

You’re just out here feeling up and looking at everything.

Oh, that statue over there.

That’s 500,000k right there.

Not to mention they frequent here.

Then here you are the poor bitch.

Kirishima noticed that you’re fidgeting uncomfortably.

“Hey, you look nervous? You okay?” He puts his hand on your shoulder,

“I- Uh, I’ve just never been to a restaurant like this before.”

“Maybe you should fucking head home then.” Bakugou spoke which earned a smack on his arm from Mina.

“Stop it.” She hisses.

Bakugou would only roll his eyes, once your table is set.

This man was the first one to get there.

He made sure to sit as far away possible from you.

The man’s even went on to order himself a whole bottle of wine.

Because “He needs to be drunk to be breathing the same air as you.”

While waiting for dinner, this was the chance for them to get to know you better.

Everyone was asking you a bunch of question.

Denki was flirting with you most of the time.

Bakugou was not interested at all.

He was enjoying his own company and tuning everyone out.

You also revealed that your boyfriend had broken up with you before joining Tokyo Lights.

A lot of apologetic looks and the girls were comforting you.

You didn’t mention anything else or nature relationship.

You didn’t think it was necessary.

Though you felt a little teary about it but tried to hide it.

It went smoothly.

Dinner was at least.

Bakugou didn’t say anything and stayed quiet, kept to himself.

Which was good for you cause you’re too exhausted to be dealing with his little jibe comments.

As you were leaving the restaurant,

There was a tip off to the paparazzi that the famous Tokyo Lights was there.

So, the staff warned all of you beforehand and they would help you leave the premises by going through the back door.

Bakugou was pissed cause after eating dinner.

The man just wants to go home and sleep since you all have a Kyoto show the day after tomorrow.

Once, he bursts out the door.

He’s glaring at everyone and shouting at the paparazzi to ‘get the fuck out of his way’

Well, that’s one thing he was good for.

There was  quick flashes of lights everywhere you look.

Thankfully, Kirishima and Bakugou were standing in front of you

Cause you wouldn’t be seeing a thing right now.

They’re pretty interested in photographing everyone as a whole.

But, one in particular stuck to them like a sore thumb

THATS YOU BESTIE

The paparazzi was shouting your name. Trying to get your attention

Sero threw his arm around and put his hand out in front of your face to avoid you getting blinded.

While Kirishima was trying to get everyone to move out of the way.

The van was parked not too far away

Immediately people started to gather around it, Sero and Kirishima made sure you were the first one to get in the van 

Followed by Bakugou 

SO NOW YOU’RE SITTING NEXT TO THIS BIG FUCKER.

You know what makes it worse?

Kirishima is sat next to him.

So you’re squashed up against the tinted window.

While driving away, you’re just wiggling trying to get some space 

I mean, come on?

Imagine being squashed by two buff ass men together?

Bakugou whips his head around and shoots you a glare,

“Fucking stop that.”

“I need space. You’re squishing me!”

“So, what? Deal with it.”

Bakugou crosses his arm over his chest

Making you even more squished again

So, you retaliate back.

You lightly elbow his side to try and get more room for yourself.

He would move around too to fight back for that FUCKING SPACE HE DIDN’T NEED.

“Stop it!” You hiss lowly.

“You fuck off.”

Thankfully, you didn’t have to suffer that long since the driver ask where you live

You tell him.

Once you arrive, you made sure to throw Bakugou your middle finger. 

Both of them.

Waving it around aggressively while the van door slowly come to a close.

You could see him being so pissed off and you could hear a muffled scream as it drives away.

Let’s talk about, you now.

You live in Shibuya.

In a small studio apartment, it’s a pretty shit one but it’s the only one you could afford.

You worked 3 jobs. Along with having to practice with your ex-boyfriend’s band.

You were stressed and having to balance all the responsibilities to live.

That night, where you and your boyfriend broke up. Sat outside the club while there was muffled music playing. 

You were puffing away a cigarette. Something you never did before until you started dating Shindo.

You were approached by Kirishima and ask for your name, how old you were and how long have you been singing for.

He had a small chatter and he even smoked with you.

Then he mentioned that there was no lead singer anymore for his band and he dropped the ball, asked if you wanted to join Tokyo Lights.

You were silent about it. Thinking about it.

He gives you his phone number and told you to think about it.

It was a couple days later, you decided to call him and agree to join the band.

That’s how you joined the band.

It wasn’t till weeks later the news blew up.

You’re going to have to get used to this new life quickly.

It’s been a day of break.

Jirou texted you a night before (she got your number from Kirishima)

Reminding you to wake up early since you have to get to Tokyo Station to catch the Shinkansen to get to Kyoto.

She also reminded you to pack clothes because you will be going to Osaka and Hiroshima after Kyoto.

So, you did.

It was 4am. You’re already at the station.

Kirishima, Denki and Mina being sunshine and so energetic. 

You don’t know where they store it in.

With a rich bad like Tokyo Lights obvs

FIRST CLASS BABYYYY

And Camie is not in the band anymore. Guess which seat has is for you?

HAHAHA THAT’S RIGHT NEXT TO BAKUGOU

Bakugou of course demanded to switch seats with Denki or else he’ll kill him.

But Kirishima was nope. You gotta learn how to get along with her.

So, now you’re stuck sat next to him.

With Bakugou complaining the whole way 

But you tuned him out because

THE FUCKING SPACE, LUXURIOUS AND COMFORTABLE SEATS 

Baby, this is the first class life.

While you’re in the train, you decide to do some work

Bestie, I know you can’t do that

So you slept.

When you arrived, Bakugou got up and didn’t bother to wake you

This guy grabbed his duffel bag from the above head compartment 

THIS BITCH PURPOSEFULLY HIT YOU WITH HIM

Jolting you awake.

He cheekily smirks at you,

Oh, it’s on.

So, guess what you did.

You whack him acorss his shin with your won very luggage while getting out the station

The glare

OH THE GLARE.

He was annoyed, alright.

What did you do?

You smirked back at that motherfucker too.

AT THE VENUE

Sound check and rehearsals time

Since, you’re thrown into touring. 

This was essential every time you have to perform. 

Since, they had to tie up any loose ends.

You’re doing pretty well if you do say so yourself because you’re catching up rather quickly.

But, this still isn’t good enough for Bakugou

Another reason for Bakugou to be pissed at you.

You have learnt that this man is a perfectionist. 

He’s a talented person too which kind of goes with being him being a perfectionist.

It has to be great. Even during rehearsal which is a time for you to make a few mistakes to get corrected.

But this motherfucker is picking at shit.

What irked you the most was this piece of shit was telling you for drinking water.

DRINKING WATER CAUSE YOUR THROAT IS GETTING DRY.

AN ESSENTIAL FOR PEOPLE WHO SPEAK CONSTANTLY OR SING.

“What? Can’t handle this shit?” “Need a break all the time. The fuck do you expect, just relaxing. Eating at some fancy restaurant.” “You don’t get to fucking slack off while we do all work.”

He’s got all that from you needing water? 

He made a whole damn novel

Like 

Who the fuck do you think he is?

“Bakugou.” Kirishima warns. Wanting to finish rehearsals already cause he’s hungry and wants to rest before the actually show.

You’re getting pissed off honestly.

You tried biting your tongue just to keep the peace

But, nope you had enough.

“Then just fucking kick me out and look for someone else. Better yet, just don’t have a singer since you think you’re too fucking good for anyone.” “Let’s see where this goes.”

OH YOU JUST OPENED A WHOLE RAGE.

Sero and Denki in the corner are shook

They’re like, 0.0

You could see, Bakugou clenching his jaw and the vein on the side of his head just popping up.

He was gripping on tightly on his drumsticks.

He stood up, knocking off the drum stool.

He was stomping his feet.

He was mad.

FUCKING SEETHING.

He was all up on your face. 

Not gonna lie, you swore you’re gonna piss yourself.

Cause you know he’s tall but not this tall.

TT.TT

You’re having regrets challenging this big motherfucker now.

I mean, he’s barely shorter than Kirishima.

Here you are with your midget ass self

FUCKING TRYING FIGHT A GIANT

The confidence in you-

“The fuck did you say?” Katsuki challenged you.

“You fucking heard me.” 

Kirishima steps in between you two.

“Alright, let’s stop this. We’re done with rehearsal.” Kirishima says to try and simmer out the situation.

Bakugou could only scoff and leave throwing up his middle finger.

The three remaining band mates could only give a mutter of apology.

You went around for a walk to get some fresh air. 

It’s exhausting, it was so nice to be living your dream.

But, it’s not so nice to not be accepted. 

It feels like everything is going to fast.

Especially with just leaving your toxic relationship.

You felt empty. 

You wanted to go back to Shindo’s arms.

Speaking of-

For reason, he’s calling you.

If this bitch ass-

Anyways,

You don’t know why he’s calling.

It was like a drug that you’re being drawn back to him,

So you answered.

“So,you think you’re big shot now, huh?” He spat

“What?”

“Don’t think I know what you’re doing.” Shindo continues, “Trying to rub it in my face?”

You’re trembling and tearing up at this point

It’s like the words are stuck in your throat. You can’t say what you want to say

“Remember, (First name). You’re nothing.” “You’re always a fucking nobody.” “You were fucking nothing with or without me.” “Remember that, you’re a nobody.”

“Oh, I get it.” He laugh spitefully, “You sucked some dicks to get where you are, huh? I knew you were a little slut.”

“Who was it? Just one of them? Two? Three or all of them at once?”

“That never-”

“Oh, it never happened.” Shindo mocks sarcastically, “I knew that was something you were going to say. Dumb bitch.”

The whole phonecall was just him degrading you.

Telling you that you aren’t worth it.

It went on for an hour.

He didn’t let up even after hearing your sobs.

He bathe in your misery, he loved hearing you beat down.

Oh, he hoped you stay like that.

Mina made sure to dress you so cute and nicely.

She had you wearing those chunky boots.

As usual, she got you into those denim short skirts and simple cropped shirt. Accessories too obvs. Made your hair all pretty.

After all, it’s been a while she actually dressed someone up properly.

Bakugou would have his shirt on but remove it halfway, Kirishima likes open shirts showing off his abs, Sero refuses to take off his beanie even if it didn’t go with his outfit and Denki. Oh, Denki.

Denki likes ripped jeans. Always with the ripped jeans.

You asked her why she keeps putting you on these short skirts.

“You have nice figure and nice legs. You have to show it off.”

You’re so nervous. You already performed a day ago but the pressure is immense

Especially since now they have an expectation now.

You’re afraid of disappointing everyone.

The staff around you help strap the ear piece pack onto you.

“Are you ready, (First name)?” You heard someone speak into it.

The familiar booming beat and rhythm of the drums came alive as the cheers into life.

“Be prepared to get into stage.”

“In 3... 2... 1....”

Your heart jumped into your throat, thumping against your chest.

The fans were screaming their lungs out 

You grinned brightly and waved to them.

“Kyoto.” You spoke into the mic, “You’re looking real sexy tonight.”

They all broke into applaud and whoops.

“Start singing in 3... 2.... 1...”

On stage, you were having the time of your life.

You’re out here shaking your ass, you were hoping all over the stage, feeling yourself, giving some fan service for people who are near the stage etc

The audience was mesmerized.

You were flirting it up with people too which didn’t help the crowd

They were already so wild.

What you were doing ma’am is getting wilder and getting them a little gay.

You were making sure to give a lot of eye-contact.

They were on the verge of fainting because

Honey, you’re too hot for your own good.

You tried to put on the best show despite not being mentally there.

It seems like no one has noticed since 

Once again, the show was praised to be spectacular.

Before leaving Kyoto

You were invited to a photo shoot for a local magazine.

Those photos from the magazine? 

Well, it was used to replace their previous band photo cover on their social media.

Tokyo Lights even deleted a lot of their posts that had Camie in it.

Because this is it.

This a new fresh start for everyone

That applies to you too,

Hence why the reason, you wanted to write about your experience with being a toxic relationship. 

So...

Introducing Love on the Brain Era.

TAGS WHO ASKED FOR PART 2

@bluebreadenthusiast

#band au #drummer bakugou #drummer bakugo #drummer au #drummer bakugou katsuki #drummer bakugo katsuki #drummer katsuki #boku no hero fanfic #mha x reader #bnha x reader #bnha fanfiction #bnha #mha #bnha fluff #bnha headcanon #BNHA Headcanons #mha fluff #bakugou katsuki angst #bakugou katsuki #katsuki angst #katsuki bakugo #katsuki bakugou x female reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo fluff #bakugou x y/n #bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugo katsuki headcanons #angst #bakugou katsuki headcanon

[tetelescopioo]

Going to make a hole thesis about the song “Black friday” cause it’s my favorite song from bf and I NEED to be a little nerdy about it. “Oh tete but there is a genius thing explaining it”- ITS FROM MY PERSPECTIVE OKAY

“Is this what I lived for?

To be choked in a toy store?

While staring into hell…”

This first line can be “funny” and tragic, because we see a young girl with so much potential getting KILLED in a TOY STORE because of a DOLL. It’s tragic how her life has been undervalued, she can feel her death coming and it seems so close she can STARE to her destiny.

“Theres something’s that’s beautiful

Being awake for my funeral

You can close the casket now.”

But then it catches me, SHE SEEMS FINE WITH IT, so fine that the imagination of her own funeral it’s a beautiful thing to her. Closing the casket it’s accepting this is the end.

“The plans for my father's hopeless seed

Born into moral poverty

Still, I wasn't the angel heaven sent

To break through my cliché boundaries”

Okay so first we have a “Not your seed reference” that it’s interesting because of the fact that Bill came to save his daughter, Lex’s Father abandoned her.

She saying “moral poverty” it’s a strong choice, not just the money, but the morals. It shows how the relationships between the fosters happened.

And she wanted to be different from her dad and mom, she wanted to break what it us set up to her: a shitty life with a shitty mother in a shitty trailer. She seems disappointed, because she didn’t break it.

“'Cause Friday is black for me

The dreamer has dreamed her dream

When Friday is black

There's no turning back

'Cause Friday is black for me”

Friday being black can be a metaphor for the end, THIS Friday it’s black because it’s MY END.

She dreamed of becoming a actress, but no, that’s her end, that’s how she dies.

And she can’t go back, because, again, THATS HER END OUCHIIIIEE.

“Is there some lesson to learn

Should I never have wanted?

I never even got started

Or were the decks always just this stacked”

Then.

She gets angrier, because she realizes what makes her such a connectable character:

She’s a teen, with dreams, loves, and a hole life to go on. How can she think of something good about this hole situation when she didn’t even TASTED life yet.

And she sees, into unfair because HOW I was SET UP, any rich kid would have an idea how to continue.

“I mean, it's really a godsend

Clear my plans for the weekend

But there's nothing to subtract

I don't want your half-baked sympathy

When did it save those in need?

Still, I thought that angels did exist

But now I hope they plan to end it quick”

In this internal monologue, she’s trying to make things make sense, so she makes fun about the godsend, about her plans for the weekend…it’s just sad.

The she turns to US, THE PUBLIC. Saying she don’t need our pity, because pity doesn’t save life’s. AND ITS SUCH A GOOD WAY TO CRITIQUE A SERIOUS MATTER LIKE THIS..I’m in love with the writing sorry.

Then. She comebacks to her fantasies about angels, but now she just hopes her end is near.

“Only my ashes will see the sea.”

She gave up about California, about her bf, she gave up about everything at this point. Now the sea will be the receptionist of what lasted of her.

“At first I didn't know what she was to me

At first I didn't know why I cared

Or why I wanted

To hold her and rock her to sleep”

And now she encounters the only thing the really kept her going. Hannah was a salvation to lex, lex wanted to be a better person because Hannah existed. She took care of her, she rocked her to sleep, she was the mother and the sister all at once.

“Did I need her more than she needed me?”

The answer? Yes. She needed Hannah to have something to inspire her to continue. In dysfunctional households, the majority of the kids fear ending up like theirs responsible, but don’t have a reason (a formal reason I say) to change, lex encounters hannah as a motivation to grow up to be better.

“Maybe I’m wrong

She can go on her own

But I’m leaving”

And then, she gives up.

She says goodbye to her last hope, and embraces death.

UNTIL OUT MAN GENERAL JOHN MACNAMARA APPEARS AM RIGHTTT

just love this song sorry.

#lex foster #starkid #angela giarratana #Black Friday #bf #when Friday is black there’s no turning back. #really love this one

[thegreygale]

Story concept the Ghostbusters adopt a young girl ghost:

Working title: Four Men and a Ghost

Concept:

When breaking up a ghost summoning ritual the ghostbusters find themselves facing a new challenge when the ghost who was accidentally summoned turns out to be a young girl who died in a fire. Despite her age and the circumstances of her death the girl IS actually a class 7 spirit who has been bumped down to class 3-4 in the course of her summoning as it was poorly executed. She has an array of abilities but would rather just be normal. Going with the name Ginette for her, possibly shortened to Ginny, this name means "white spirit" so I thought it would work.

Relationships:

Egon is the most protective and also the most on board with Ginette hiding her identity as a ghost, he made devices to hide her signature and help her look more alive (the main one being a hair tie/scrunchy). Insists on preforming every possible test to monitor her health and abilities. Ginette often argues with Egon about her dating because he keeps threatening to shoot her prospective boyfriends with his proton pack. ("You can’t keep threatening the guys I like! I’m never going to get a boyfriend at this rate!” "Good!"). Calls Egon Dad. She helps him with experiments at his lab in the firehouse sometimes and he encourages her with her pursuit of science.

Ray is the most emotionally available, he’s the one Ginette goes to when she’s sad. Also supports her wishes to blend in but encourages Ginette to use her abilities when she can("We don't know the possible impact of you keeping that much power pent up, it could cause some kind of damage to you."). Helps Egon run tests. Doesn’t register the fact that she wants to date, definitely the “Daddy’s little ghoul” dad of the group. Also calls Ray Dad. She helps him at the bookstore and reads the books he has there, occasionally receives her favorites as presents from him.

Winston is the fun one, he’ll let Ginette get pizza with her friends, and cover for her when she misses curfew. Respects her wishes to blend in but doesn’t encourage her to, wants her to be safe from discrimination but thinks she should be proud of her differences. Wants nothing to do with the testing and always takes Ginette out once it’s over, occasionally deciding when the testing should end with or without Egon and Ray’s approval. Thinks that she deserves to find someone, has threatened her prospective boyfriends with sicing Egon on them(the good cop, Egon cop routine). Ginette calls Winston Pops(partially to his chagrine). He also teaches her about finances and how to keep track of money.

Peter is the only one Ginette doesn’t have a great relationship with in some form or another, she considers him to be a bit smarmy and he doesn’t know how to treat her so they have a more “professional” relationship. Ginette calls him Venkman as opposed to her usual affectionate nickname. He was involved with the testing on day one but she refused to let him be involved again unless she gets to shock him. Is the most blasé about her dating. She does go to him for therapy sometimes when things get too crazy for her.

Janine is like a badass aunt who she looks up to. Janine is the one she talks to when she gets a crush, and the first one she confides in when her heart breaks. Janine takes no shit, claiming that she doesn’t care if the girl is a level seven or a level 10, if she gets fresh she’s gonna get it! Despite the occasional blow ups Janine gets along with her best. Janine is the most supportive of her dating life and goes out of her way to protect her boyfriends from the guys. Calls Janine Mom(and occastionally Momster when Janine can't hear). Ginette has Janine’s last name because she had to have someone’s and her three father figures kept arguing about which of theirs she’d have until she latched onto Janine and yelled “I’ll take mommy’s!” When business is really good Ginette will help Janine out with the phones.

Dana is kinda like a distant aunt, they get along but aren’t really close. Ginette helps watch Oscar and absolutely loves him. Dana teaches Ginette to play the cello and encourages her interest in music.

Characters (between ghostbusting):

Egon has a personal lab in the firehouse that he uses to test, analyze, and develop new ghostbuster technology. He also runs a business, with Winston and Janine‘s help, that sells some of his products( PKE meters and the like)to paranormal investigators.

Ray runs his bookshop and the other ghostbusters occasionally buy books from him to keep it out of the red.

Peter works as a psychologist and has a little practice that he uses to help former clients with getting over the stress and trauma of their hauntings. He also helps to screen clients for whether their “ghost” is real or if they have genuine mental health issues in which case he recommends a psychiatrist.

Ginette was about seven when she was first summoned but the story takes place when she’s about 14. She works with Egon whenever she can and works at Ray’s bookstore after school, occasionally trying to get customers by promoting the store to the goth crowd at school.

#ghostbusters #story concept #Four Men and a Ghost AU

[alyjojo]

The Person On Your Mind in November 🌚 2022 - Pisces

Whole of their energy towards Pisces: Page of Pentacles

An apology is going a long way in this connection, this is someone that has been waiting to leave this situation or connection for some time. Plotting & planning their escape. They’re none too happy with you, or that’s switched and they know you’re pissed at them. I’m not sure what level of relationship this is, just that it has disconnected for the betterment of everyone.

Feelings: 4 Cups

This person never made a decision regarding you, they just waited around to give that to someone else. They could simply have been waiting for money, gifts, or someone’s generosity to come in so they could separate from you. There could have been a lack of communication and a lot of misunderstandings between you, both just kinda assumed what you felt made sense, whether right or wrong.

Intentions: 7 Wands

The intent here is very intense. They want to fight and defend themselves and their position. There is massive stress, anxiety, heartbreak, deep sadness, cruel words and mean, petty, “superior” behavior, just in this row, and whoever had that done to them is extremely pissed off about it because it’s uncalled for. You have “kind” in your messages, this is regarding an apology, it’s most likely this person. Still in their intent, they’re defending their bs more than really apologizing. It could be this “apology” that really shows you their character, and the disaster you avoid is a reconciliation. You know they’re full of shit.

Actions: Death

Death is Death, at least here. Either they’re happy about the silence or they know you are. This person has an air of self satisfaction, even when they’re acting stupid or wrong, they’ll just spin it in a way that they can justify it all, to themselves, it’s an immature energy. Their messages say they’ll surprise you, so even with Death here, apparently it’s not totally over yet. With both Death & Judgement out here, it’s possible this person has already been gone and is plotting a comeback, in which case letting go of the old is a wish of theirs…whether that actually happens though 🤷‍♀️ Your call.

Messages:

Their side:

- I will surprise you.

- Younger man/woman

Your side:

- Kind! 😊

- I wish I knew then what I know now.

Possible signs:

Scorpio, Aries & Cancer

If you’re dealing with:

The Emperor & 9 Swords could be a situation involving a father, boss, or some kind of authority that has you intensely stressed out & upset to the point you can’t sleep or get your mind out of this distressed repeating loop. It’s possible this could point out mental illness, if that’s something you know applies. This could also be showing you having to BE the authority and create rules and boundaries with people that cause you to be in this panicked and upset mental & emotional state. Setting boundaries, holding people accountable, no more bs.

Aries - loves you deeply and is waiting for you or something to happen between you

Taurus - a happy & stable relationship that’s very busy, could have a lot to do in the home or are weighing thoughts of buying a home

Gemini - should I stay or should I go? 🎶

Cancer - taking a logical and detached approach to a conflict with you, they’re trying to be fair

Leo - getting some good news they deserve

Virgo - making impulsive business decisions, or they’re very excited about something financially rewarding

Libra - feels passionate about you but isn’t doing anything about it

Scorpio - loves you and is apologizing, could be this person, could simply be sending messages

Sagittarius - very excited to work together with you on something, or telling you about something great that they’re working on

Capricorn - created a difficult situation with a lack of stability and foundation, could be the reason for a split or separation in any kind of connection, may be trying to conjure solutions out of their bum after having done this

Aquarius - mean, unhappy, and disinterested with everything, pass

Pisces - could be stuck in a rut where they feel they’ve lost their passion & motivation, possibly their drive for intimacy altogether

#pisces tarot reading #person on your mind #november 2022 #Pisces #tarot

[bramblewrites]

A Year

Prompt: It’s me and my partner @scupskinnielmao’s anniversary, and the first time I’ve had a relationship last for an entire year, so I decided to write about all of the feelings we’ve had. 

This is based on true experiences. May not be entirely accurate because my memory isn’t the best, but I tried to make it as accurate as I could.

-----

Bramblestar wasn’t at all paying attention to the video playing in class. Instead, they were standing on the table, inviting Nara in for a dance. No one else in the class could see, they were both invisible. Sure, their physical body was right there, but they couldn’t do this in that body.

Maybe it was desperation, but with every step Bramblestar saw Nara in a new light. Stop it, she’s aro, you know that. But they couldn’t help it.

“I think I like you.”

Nara looked... conflicted. “You know I don’t like people like that.” She replied. “I- I know, I just...” They stopped dancing, and the cheetah ran out into the hall, leaving a sad looking Bramble behind.

They got over it quickly, romantic feelings gone by the end of the day. It was desperation after all.

-----

Kani was glad to have some time to finally relax. Everyone else was off causing their own chaos, while she was reading a book on her bed.

“Kani!”

Never mind. “What is it this time?” Kani snapped as Nara sped into her room, looking panicked. “Problem.” Was all she said. Kani sighed, patting the end of her bed, and Nara jumped up.

“What’s the problem?” Kani asked. Nara nervously fidgeted for a moment or two. “I like someone.” She blurted out.

“I thought you were aro?” Kani asked, a little confused. “Unless it’s like... sexual. Then I can’t help you. I’m ace, remember?” She shrugged and laughed. “No, no. I mean, maybe? It’s mostly platonic I think. But uh. That’s not the problem.” Nara was looking everywhere except Kani’s eyes.

“Who is it? Is it Ikura? You better not be hitting on my boyfriend I swear-” Kani’s claws snapped threateningly. “No! Never! I wouldn’t do that, not without your knowledge. It’s uh... someone outside the Pack.”

“But who...” This was before any of them had even heard of being plural before, so the only invisible friends they talked to were the Sushi Pack, Nara, and...

“You’ve gotta be kidding me, please tell me it’s not Bramble.” The second the words left Kani’s mouth, Nara shrunk. “I can’t help it! They’re hot, okay?”

“Bramblestar’s more than just an invisible friend! They’ve got a real, physical body, dating them would be near impossible!” Kani was unintentionally starting to raise her voice. “I could pass it off as an online, long distance relationship. I already have a Discord account, people think I’m just a friend of theirs. I just... don’t know if they could ever really like me. You said it, I’m not as real as them.”

Kani set a hand on Nara’s shoulder. “You are real. And you and Bramble are so much more alike than you know. If you’re stupid enough to ask them out, then go for it.”

Nara perked up. “Oh, I’m very stupid. Thanks Kani!” Kani watched her leave, returning to her book. Looks like I’m the one third wheeling now. Usually this doesn’t happen, it was always Bramble. But Nara’s good for them, even if she’s a little chaotic. She chuckled to herself, thoughts getting distracted again.

-----

It was hot out, and Bramblestar was finally confident enough to not wear a hoodie, instead wearing a blue, hand me down T-shirt. Kani hated the heat, Nara didn’t mind it as much.

While their physical body was in their dad’s car, he was picking them up from their mom’s, their invisible form was outside, talking with Nara.

“You’re hot.” Nara blurted out impulsively. Bramblestar laughed. “Thanks.” They didn’t seem to realize it yet.

“Can I kiss you?” Nara asked, a little more confident. This made them blush. They already had two partners at the moment, and had never actually kissed anyone in their physical form or not. The answer surprised both of them.

“Yes.”

Technically, they were cheating, but right now they didn’t care too much. They could just ask their other partners if it was cool for them to date someone else. There wasn’t much of an actual confession, but a mutual understanding between them.

-----

“We’ll break up after a couple of months, right?” Bramble asked. “...Why?” Nara questioned, sounding sad. “Well, I just... don’t want to put either of us in danger. You’re my invisible friend. If people find out, they might be so convinced you’re fake that they’ll take it out on me, and I don’t want to lose you.” They explained.

“Oh.” Of course she should’ve expected this, something this good couldn’t last. “Yeah, when school starts then we can break up. I know you’re still hoping your old crush shows up-” Nara teased. “Oh shut it-”

-----

“It’s the perfect solution! If anyone who knew what I was before shows up, just introduce me as Scups! You have multiple names too, so why shouldn’t I?”

It was a great idea. For once, she had a great idea. And Bramblestar supported him fully.

-----

“You know, you get really deep in denial sometimes.” Kani observed. Once again, they were in her room. Somehow, despite Nara having her own room, it had become sort of a meeting spot.

“I’m probably not plural. I don’t wanna hurt anybody else by calling us something we’re not.” Bramblestar objected. “You’re arguing with the voices in your head. That’s definitely a sign of something unusual. But we’re real. Besides, don’t you want to tell your friends about us?”

They looked at their friends faces, full of hope. “My new year’s resolution was to tell my online friends about my invisible friends.” They admitted in defeat. “I’ll tell them.”

-----

They were very anxious before they hit “post”, after typing up an explanation. “I just don’t want to be judged.” They confessed. “You’ll be fine. You have good friends.” Nara reassured them.

He was right. Of course he was.

-----

“A year, huh?” “Yeah. We’ve been together for an entire year. Holy shit.”

“I love you Bramblestar.” “I love you too, Nara.”

#bramble writes! #I CRIED WRITING THIS. MULTIPLE TIMES #I'M SAPPY OKAY

[what-if-nct]

I don’t know if this is just me being a sociopath, but I really like seeing happy people suffering for some reason. Like I’ve noticed I watch TOO many videos of true crime or just news reports of people dying over the past few months.

I don’t know what it is, but it might be a reaction to my trauma where I like seeing happy people being stooped down to my level and it makes me feel happier that I’m not the only person who has to deal with shit like what I have to go through in life.

But at the same time, I hate hearing about people in relationships issues or even people getting 👉👌 harassed as a child. Not sure why is that the case but if I had to guess then it would be because I would feel like my traumatic experiences aren’t the same as theirs and so I have no rights to be traumatised.

But then again, I’d watch true crime but I don’t like hearing people talking about the victim and how they were so loved by everyone in the community and blah blah blah. Of course if it’s about someone I know (which 99.9% of it isn’t), but I just love to hear about the story itself with the gruesome wording that would make my toes curl.

Anybody else?

Just me? Well alright then.

even though I don't really relate, I'm super sensitive and like when ever I see someone is sad or feels unwell my first instinct is to hug them. Like my heart literally hurts. And I can only watch true crime videos by those who speak with so much love and compassion for the victim and their family. Sherrilyn Dale is my favorite, her voice sounds like a hug.

But I do see how depending on your own life and trauma it creates different reactions there's those who want to see others feel the same pain that they feel cause it feels unfair, "why do I have to feel this way? and no one else does. I want others to know what I feel" than there's others who are the opposite and they never want to see anyone in pain because they know what that is like and they dont want to see anyone else feel the way they feel. I don't think one is less then the other it's just personal responses to trauma. But it is important to really try to heal that wound that leaves you stuck in that place.

Also I think there's no competition of whose trauma is more valid. They're all different and hold a different kind of weight. Like I know it's hard to not feel like well others have had worse what makes me have the right to feel the way I do. Like I discredit my own experiences cause I was an adult and actually older than those who did what they did, so it took me a long time to see it for what it was. To be fair I still haven't fully processed it I didn't realize it was what it was till I told my friends and they said something. But it's all valid and you're trauma is as valid as anyone else no matter if it's mental, emotional or physical everyone has a right to feel what they feel and to talk about how it effects them.

Fascination with it is common for different reasons, For me I just like learning about things, places and people and their lives and stories and why someone is the way they are or why they did what they did, I actually prefer the ones with survivors to hear their lived experiences and how they escaped. I think Kendal Rae covers a few survivors, as well minor cases, like scammers. Then there's those who just like gory stories which is also shown through the worlds fascination with horror. But you're most likely aren't alone.

[frankterranella]

A great song that celebrates the joys of couplehood

Great art makes you feel. It moves you. It can make you feel joy, or terror, or hope, or sadness. It can make you laugh; it can make you cry; it can raise goose bumps; it can make the hair stand up on the back of your neck. Great art always elicits some visceral response. That’s what makes it great. It gets us in touch with our humanity by uniting the spiritual with the physical. So when I see a play or a painting, or hear a piece of music and it brings a tear to my eye, a smile to my face, or affects me in some other physical way, I always take note, for here there is great artistry.

When I first heard the Indigo Girls a couple of decades ago, I recognized great artists. Their songs were intelligent; they spoke to the human condition. And most importantly, they touched me. For the uninitiated, the Indigo Girls are Amy Ray and Emily Saliers, two women from Georgia who have been friends since they were teenagers. Because they are lesbians (with separate partners) who have long advocated lesbian causes, they are often pigeon-holed as if their songs were relevant only to the lesbian community. Nothing could be further from the truth.

I could provide many examples of their artistry, but I want to focus on one song of theirs that never fails to leave me teary-eyed. It’s called “Power of Two.” You can watch a video of the song at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hj0yVN8pFNw. In addition to having a great tune and wonderful harmonies, it has very meaningful lyrics. The song, by Emily Saliers, is a tribute to the power and joy of long-term relationships.

The “Power of Two” starts out with a verse about a couple meeting up for a weekend road trip into the country:

Now the parking lot is empty

Everyone's gone someplace

I pick you up and in the trunk I've packed

A cooler and a 2-day suitcase

'Cause there's a place we like to drive

Way out in the country

Five miles out of the city limit we're singing

And your hand's upon my knee

Then we hear the first appearance of the fabulous chorus that tells us that all is well with the couple because they have each other and two people together are always more than the sum of their parts:

So we're okay

We're fine

Baby I'm here to stop your crying

Chase all the ghosts from your head

I'm stronger than the monster beneath your bed

Smarter than the tricks played on your heart

We'll look at them together then we'll take them apart

Adding up the total of a love that's true

Multiply life by the power of two

I have always loved the line “stronger than the monster beneath your bed” because it is evocative and rings so true. Most people have inner demons or monsters. A committed life partner helps overcome the demons. The next verse speaks to the importance of the long-term mature commitment, rather than the youthful fling than ends in tragedy:

You know the things that I am afraid of

I'm not afraid to tell

And if we ever leave a legacy

It's that we loved each other well

'Cause I've seen the shadows of so many people

Trying on the treasures of youth

But a road that fancy and fast ends in a fatal crash

And I'm glad we got off

To tell you the truth

After repeating the chorus, the song goes to a bridge about the false allure of transitory friendships, where Emily sings a line and then Amy responds to it:

All the shiny little trinkets of temptation

(make new friends)

Something new instead of something old

(but keep the old)

All you gotta do is scratch beneath the surface

(but remember what is gold)

And it's fools gold

Fools gold

(what is gold)

Fools gold

(what is gold)

This takes us to the final verse celebrating going through life with a loving partner where paradoxically, the more you’re bound to another, the more free you are:

Now we're talking about a difficult thing

And your eyes are getting wet

I took us for better and I took us for worse

Don't you ever forget it

Now the steel bars between me and a promise

Suddenly bend with ease

And the closer I'm bound in love to you

The closer I am to free

The song closes with the chorus that reminds us how important it is that a life partner is there when you need them. They’re there to “stop your crying” and to help overcome the “tricks played on your heart.”

So we're okay

We're fine

Baby I'm here to stop your crying

Chase all the ghosts from your head

I'm stronger than the monster beneath your bed

Smarter than the tricks played on your heart

We'll look at them together then we'll take them apart

Adding up the total of a love that's true

Multiply life by the power of two

This is a great piece of romantic songwriting with a wonderful message: Two is better than one. Not just twice as good, but geometrically better. It urges us all to find a true love and “multiply life by the power of two.”

[constantly-confused-queer]

It’s 1:40 am and I’m trying to find new varigo fan fiction to read instead of sleeping. If anyone has any recommendations, let me know

#I’m not even tired #I just want to read a bunch of fluff #and then get sad cause I’m never going to have a relationship like theirs #anyways #please do tell me if you guys know any good varigo fanfics

[malabu]

enemies to lovers (part 2)

X is in visible distress from a breakup and Y makes a joke about it, which causes X to start crying. Y feels guilty and has an “oh shit” moment and tries to comfort X, who doesn’t turn it down

continuously forgetting that they’re supposed to hate each other

“thank you, for saving my life. seriously, i would have died if it wasn’t for you.” “don’t mention it. but you owe me.”

X sees that the person that Y is in a relationship with treats them badly/cheats on them and, for some unknown reason, feels protective and threatens Y’s partner

X is a supernatural being and when Y gets injured, X takes their hand and also their pain

X gets drunk at a party and Y stays close behind and makes sure they don’t get hurt

X is really sad, and just wraps their arms around Y and starts crying and Y is just super confused but hugs them back

X is running down a hall from a predator and are suddenly grabbed and pulled into a room, a hand over their mouth. Y holds X against their body and shushes them, and they stay like this for a few moments.

X is about to punch Y, but Y is faster. they grab X’s wrist, and take them down to the floor. both of them remain silent while breathing heavily, and their eyes are locked. and for just a slight moment, both allow themselves to take a peek at the other’s lips before snapping back into reality. Y pulled X up to their feet and says “we never speak of this.”

X goes through something traumatic and tells Y about it, and they start feeling guilty, telling X “you can stay for as long as you need.”

X is deathly injured and Y comforts them in their last moments. they talk about how they never really hated each other and both regret being rude and hateful the whole time they knew each other

both of them wanting to kill and rip each other’s clothes off simultaneously

X is walking behind Y through a door and Y not-so-kindly slams the door in X’s face before they can enter, walking away with a shit-eating grin on their face

X finds Y crying and becomes defensive and demands “who did this to you?”

“you’re coming to me for help?” “right now, you’re all i’ve got.”

X teases Y when they find out about an unexpected skill of theirs, but is dumbfounded when Y busts out a perfect performance of said skill

X walks in on Y singing to themselves while doing chores and has a brief moment of “i might be in love with this person” so they don’t interrupt

X has been badly wounded, and Y agrees to help them out of guilt, and X can’t help but admire their body, which Y notices and smirks at

“you have to carry me.” “really?” “yes, really. i can’t feel my legs.”

there’s only one bed and they argue over who should sleep on the floor. they don’t come to a conclusion, so instead they end up sharing, incredibly spiteful over having to share their space

“are you okay?” “yeah, i’m good.” “you’re bleeding. also you got shot. i can literally see the bullet.” “i said i’m fine.”

X seduces Y by kissing their neck, tracing their fingers down their body. Y knows they shouldn’t be doing this but they don’t stop it because maybe it feels good and they’ve been secretly hoping this would happen the whole time

“you and me, never going to happen.”

during a dance, X is dancing with Z, and Y can’t take their eyes off of them. when X notices this, they smirk, and start dancing more intimately with Z, while not taking their eyes off of X

“we can go back to hating each other tomorrow.”

X jumping into bed with Y to “relieve stress” or to “resolve sexual tension.” they promise each other it’s meaningless, but the next night, it happens again

wrestling X to the ground when Y threatens them, holding a knife to their throat. “you won’t do it.” “you don’t think so?” “i know so.” “don’t be cocky.” “if you wanted me dead, i’d already be six feet under.”

it’s one a.m. and X knocks on Y’s door. Y is confused, before seeing X holding a dead body. “what the fuck is that?” “i need your help. please.” “fine, but if you get blood on my carpet, i’ll kill you as dead as him.”

every one of X and Y’s friends knows they’re completely head over heels for each other but they keep up the act and remain in denial until one day they can’t take it anymore and just slam their lips together

in a stressful situation, X and Y take each others’ hand and squeeze, letting each other know neither of them would abandon the other

#malabuprompts #prompts #prompt list #fic prompts #fluff #fluff prompts #writing prompts #writing ideas #dialogue #dialogue prompts #enemies to lovers #rivals to lovers #otp prompts #enemies to lovers prompts #kisses #kissing #kiss prompt #kissing prompts #hands #hand holding #hand-holding #hand holding prompts #touching #touch #touching prompts #hugs #hugging #hugging prompts

[annab-nana]

All A Game - JJ Maybank

You were a kook dating the hottest pogue so you should have guessed something was up, but you never would have thought that your relationship with JJ was a joke.

Requested by @rochyu 💙

A/N: just to clarify, this is based on a scene from the movie “after”, so if it seems familiar, that is why

Warnings: some curse words; angst

Word Count: 2.0k+

--------------------------------------------------

Laughter sounded throughout the closed restaurant as you, JJ, and all of his friends—who you too have become quite close within the span of your relationship—were hanging out with cold fries and watered-down drinks before you on the table. These moments were the ones you held close to your heart. They just felt so warm, something you never ever felt with your friends at the kook academy. Your only kook friends that you ever felt a genuine connection with were Rafe and Kelce, but they always tried to come to your rescue even when not necessary which while endearing was a tad annoying. They probably hated you now that you were fraternizing with the enemy so to speak.

The pogues made you feel so at home in a place that despised you and you had actual fun with them. Between surfing, fishing, little adventures, and late nights like tonight at The Wreck, you grew close to them, called them true friends but boy, were you wrong.

There you sat, a wide radiant smile on your face. JJ’s arm was slung around your shoulders as he cracked more jokes. Pope was on your other side, his dorky grin put on display. Kiara and John B sat on the opposite, giggles flying from their lips alongside quick remarks to add to the banter. Another warm moment that would be your last. Your last moment in their presence and you would miss it. You would be savoring it now if only you knew.

“I gotta wring it out. Be right back,” JJ announced before pressing his lips to your temple—the last kiss from him you would receive—and standing up to leave.

“Ew,” you scolded while wiping the kiss off that you’d wish later on you could do with every part of you he and those damn heavenly lips had touched, “don’t kiss me after talking about that.”

“C’mon princess, don’t do that,” he pouted at you as he blew you a kiss and disappeared into the men’s restroom.

“You two are gross,” John B commented, his facial expression showing his disgust for the interaction he had witnessed.

“Like you don’t mack on Sarah every fucking chance you get,” you quipped, earning some laughs from Pope and Kie. “Anyway, I’m in love with him so say all you want. I don’t care.”

As soon as the words left you, the air was thick around you as the tension grew. You felt Pope stiffen next to you and watched as John B and Kie showed similar blank expressions.

“Is… everything alright?” you questioned with a nervous chuckle. Kiara’s eyes flitted to Pope’s for a second whose eyes widened at what she was insinuating before they jumped to John B’s. “What’s going on?”

“I-“ she sighed while she unlocked her phone, “y/n, there’s something you should know about JJ.”

“O-okay,” you stuttered out in a small voice, worry filling your veins only to heighten when you heard his voice.

“Woah, who killed the mood?” the blond joked, trying to lift the spirits of the group but based on your worried expression, Kie’s eyes never meeting his, and Pope and John B shaking their heads, he realized something serious was going on. “What happened?”

Kiara finally revealed what she was looking for on her phone. It was turned sideways so you all could see the video better and front and center was JJ Maybank. She had not played it yet, but you could tell by his surroundings that it was from the night you met him. It was at that party where Sarah drunkenly introduced you to John B. The other pogues were there too but you had no knowledge of them at the time. That’s when you saw him, blond hair a mess but still cute and bright blue eyes that you found captivating. He saw you too and introduced himself before trying to make a move on you. You, of course, rejected him because he was known everywhere for his infamous one-night stands, and you weren’t here for that. You desired something more that at the time, you didn’t think he could provide. He then went back to his friends, the ones you sat around today.

“Kie,” John B warned as she shot a sharp glare at JJ and played the video. You saw yourself in the video looking up at JJ. It was the exact moment you had met him, and Kiara had filmed it.

“Aw, it looks like JJ Maybank just got his first rejection,” Kie spoke from behind the camera while JJ turned around with an amused smile on his face. John B was laughing behind the phone as well, probably heavily intoxicated on alcohol and Sarah.

“You don’t think I can make it happen?” JJ teased, blue eyes going to each of his friends who stood behind Kiara while he quirked a brow teasingly.

“Make what happen, JJ?” Kie asked before she hiccupped. She’d had a few prior to this as well.

“Make her fall in love with me and then,” he paused then snapped his fingers, “turn it off.”

At that, you felt the tears well in your eyes, but they were also glued to the screen in front of you. You saw the smile he wore after he spoke such a damaging statement and it cut you deep inside. As for everyone else, they were watching you. The video stopped mere seconds after he said those painful words and your eyes lifted from the phone to its owner.

“It was all a game,” Kie’s voice spoke to you while wearing a pitiful expression on the face you thought was of a friend, but she didn’t feel like on right now. None of them did. Though she repeated what you already knew, thanks to the video, you could not believe it. Your focus faltered to the table as you tried to calm the thoughts running through your mind. Every moment you shared with him was nothing. It was all meaningless. It was all a lie. He never cared about you and slowly, that was tearing you up inside.

“Y/n?” JJ’s concerned voice entered your ears. How in any way did he have the right to be concerned for you? This was his mess after all. He did this. You didn’t look up from the table. “Y/n,” he tried again, this time reaching for your hand, but you shrugged it off. “Y/n, please, you have to believe me,” he said while you tried your hardest not to look at him, keeping your gaze trained on the table. He leaned in to be a little closer to you.

“Y/n, that was before everything, before I got to know you,” he desperately tried to get you to understand his side of things. Instead of turning to him, you turned to Pope. His big brown eyes scanned your face, seeing how you were breaking, and he hated it for you. His face showed sympathy, but he was in the wrong too, just not as bad as JJ.

“Is that true?” Your voice broke at the last word, and you despised yourself for it. You could see the little line of tears blurring your vision at the bottom, but not one had dared to fall. Pope looked down for a moment. He did not want to be the one to tell you, but his silence answered your question. Your eyes found John B and Kie next. “And all of you knew?” Back to the table your stare went when no one spoke.

“Y/n,” JJ’s shaking voice sounded on your left. Finally giving up, you let your eyes meet his. What a bad idea that was? Once you caught sight of the beautiful blues, it felt like you were drowning. It was like the water was clogging your ears because you saw his lips moving. You knew he was talking, but no sound was coming to you. Through your blurring vision, you saw that he was fighting off tears too, but what did he have to cry about? He broke yourheart, absolutely wrecked it, and here he was with tears in his eyes. Why couldn’t he just turn it off like he said he could? God, you hated him so much right now. Through the deafening silence, you scrambled to stand as JJ did the same with you.

“Y/n, wait,” you thought he said. That’s what it looked like he said, but you would not know. And you wouldn’t be there to find out either as you took off running for the exit. Once outside, the rain could be heard but also so could JJ.

“Y/n, wait,” he tried again but you kept walking. “Y/n!”

“None of it was real,” you paused to breathe as you faced him, “I actually thought… I thought that-” Your words were cut off by that feeling of your chest tightening as the emotions swirled inside you. That gummy feeling rose to your throat and blocked you from speaking for a moment and JJ noticed this. He knew you now. He knew how you looked when the world was crumbling all around you and that’s how you looked right now. He hated that he was the one who had caused this. “You’re just a liar.”

“That was all before,” he tried to fight, tried to get you to fucking understand but it was too hard. It would never make sense to you and how could it?

“Before what?” you inquired. You were emotionally drained and honestly so done with this situation that you knew you should have seen coming. Love can blind you sometimes though.

“Before-”

“You snapped your fingers and turned it off?” you asked after cutting him off. Guilt was written all over his face and you watched as he thought about what to say next.

“You said nothing could change the way you felt about me.” Yes, JJ, but that was before I knew you were playing some game with me! That’s what you wanted to scream at him. God, you wanted to scream at him, but you didn’t have it in you at the moment.

“Then, I guess we’re both liars,” you stated, plain and simple. You watched as his head hung low and you decided you were done with this, turning to leave. Nothing seemed to be on your side tonight because you had come with everyone in John B’s van after he picked you up so now you had to walk home in the rain. Luckily, The Wreck was between your land and theirs so it wouldn’t be a long trek and the rain masked your tears so to onlookers, you were just walking alone in the rain. Not as sad as you would seem if they had known what was really happening but still pretty pathetic. Your feet took you into the land of the kooks and surprisingly to Tannyhill where Rafe sat outside in his truck.

“What were you doing alone in the rain? Shouldn’t you be with those demons?” Rafe teased, attempting to get you to smile but failing miserably.

“Don’t talk about them,” you barked before letting out your next word a lot more silently and vulnerably, “please.”

“Are you okay?” Anytime someone asks that when you are trying to fight back tears, it always breaks the dam.

“No,” you muttered, but he was quick to pull you into his arms to comfort your sobbing state.

“I’m so sorry, y/n.” You laughed after that. It was funny hearing him apologize on a pogue’s behalf. “What’s so funny?” he asked, a little laughter in his tone as well.

“Nothing, just you’re not telling me ‘I told you so’ or whatever,” you told him honestly, but he was just glad to see you smiling again.

“Wanna go inside? I imagine you’re cold.” You nodded in response as Rafe turned off the vehicle and reached for the door to leave, but you grabbed his arm to stop him.

“I- uh, sorry. I just wanted to say thank you,” you muttered before he shot you a smile and hugged you again, his lips finding the top of your head in a friendly manner.

“Anytime, y/n.”

--------------------------------------------------

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[sleeping-on-cracking-ice]

can you make the sfw alphabet for hyunjin? i rlly loved the one with félix <3

Sure! ❤

SFW Alphabet | Hwang Hyunjin

{Stray Kids Masterlist}

Warnings: suggestive themes but it’s only mentioned once

A - Affection

(How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

At first Hyunjin would be unsure with showing his affection

He would take a while before opening up to someone like that

So with his S/O, he wouldn’t be overly affectionate or touchy at first

But after be becomes way more confident around them, he would literally never let go

I can see his love language being either physical touch or acts of service

When he gets the chance to relax with his S/O, he’d be like a leech

Would keep his arms so tightly wrapped around them and complain whenever they tried to remove him

Even when just sitting on the couch together, literally all his limbs would be caging his S/O

He seems like the type to be very clingy to those he feels comfortable around, so his S/O would never catch a break

For acts of service, he would do small things for his S/O just to show he cares

Like making them some food after they’ve had a bad day or giving their head a rub when they’re lying in bed at night

B - Best Friend

(What would they be like as a best friend?)

Loud and annoying best friend definitely

Like his best friend doesn’t get a break from him

He’d be the type to just show up at their house uninvited

What’s theirs is his

Knows exactly how to make parents like him cause he’s so polite so he’d be the favourite

Sleepovers galore and walking to the park at some ridiculous time in the morning

He’d be the type to give his all in a friendship, so he’d be incredibly loyal and expects that back from his best friend

C - Cuddles

(Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He’d only be very cuddly when it’s just him and his S/O

He’d be nervous to do it in front of people, even if it’s in front of the rest of Stray Kids

He would still sit on their lap / have them sit on his if he’s comfortable

But when their alone he would be a lot more intimate

Like lying across the top of them or running his hands along under their shirt

His favourite way to cuddle would be him simply just having his head in his S/O’s lap

He would love it because he’s a dramatic princess and would beg for his S/O to play with his hair and braid it

Every night he would just slump on the couch and force them to sit up straight so he can place his head on their thigh and they immediately knows what he wants

D - Domestic

(Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He’d wouldn’t be fussed in terms of settling down quickly

Although he would always think how cute it would be to share an apartment with his S/O where he gets to see them everyday

And when they finally do move in together, him and his S/O would become so fussy in terms of chores

Always disagree on who does what, so they’d have to end up doing it together so they can suffer the frustration together

They would usually share both the cooking and cleaning, but Hyunjin would prefer to cook since he’s rather decent at it

But overall, hates doing housework but he would rather jump off a cliff before he watches his S/O do it all on their own

E - Ending

(If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Hyunjin seems like the type to avoid a break up as much as he can

If there was an issue between him and his S/O, he would try everything in his power to work it out without resorting to a break up

If he was to break up with his S/O, he would feel guilty about it

It would take him a while to muster up the courage to do it (unless there was a major problem)

He would want to stay friends with his S/O, and would always promise them they would remain close

Hyunjin wouldn’t let him and his S/O’s relationship end badly, but more on a mutual agreement

If his S/O was to suddenly break up with him though, he would get very in denial about it

His sadness comes out in anger, causing a screaming match between the two as he keeps denying them trying to break up with him

But after a while, when he’s calmed down, he would sit down with them and listen to their reasoning

It would take a while for him to recover from it, as he seems the type to pin his needs onto his S/O slightly

Some days would be worse than others, but soon enough he would be back to his cheery self and would accept being their friend again

He realises that staying together as friends with them would at least mean he still gets to see them

F - Fiancé(e)

(How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Hyunjin seems like the type to take a while to commit to someone

Even when he first meets someone, he has to take a while to get to know them before he feels comfortable

Most people are like that though

But in a relationship, he would at first come across as either shy or aloof, as he wouldn’t be incredibly affectionate or loud

But when he starts getting comfortable, pray for his S/O

Doesn’t leave them alone, never

He couldn’t have a relationship with someone if they weren’t also his best friend though

So when he’s finally comfortable, he would become so committed

Always just assumes that he and his S/O will get married

Talks about it like it’s happening tomorrow

Of course it would be sometime in the far future, but he would love talking to people about what him and his S/O have planned for their wedding

G - Gentle

(How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

When he first starts dating, he would be so afraid of hurting his S/O, physically or emotionally

Comes back to how it takes a while for him to get comfortable with someone

But after him and his S/O become a lot closer and start to understand each other’s limits when it comes to harsh jokes or rough play

He does not hold back

Physically, he’s not at all gentle

When his S/O is just minding their business, he would take it as an invitation to tackle them to the ground

Or to pick them up and throw them over his shoulder

Even when just playfighting, he gets so competitive and his S/O has to beg him to lay off to let them breathe

Emotion wise, literally the last thing he would ever want was to hurt his S/O emotionally

Although sometimes he may accidentally say something that could be taken the wrong way, he never has bad intentions

He would love a relationship where him and his S/O can cuss each other out without actually meaning any of the harsh jokes

But if he ever accidentally goes too far and offends his S/O, he feels so guilty

Apologises to them over and over and makes it up with kisses and loving compliments

H - Hugs

(Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He obviously enjoys hugs so much

Only when he’s alone with his S/O though

In public, he wouldn’t be too lovey-dovey because he gets shy about it

But he also thinks his relationship doesn’t need to be seen by everyone else

But when he’s alone with his S/O, he becomes a lot more affectionate

Especially after a long day and him and his S/O are both sleepy and cuddling on the couch or before they go to sleep

You know those sudden urges to squeeze something that’s really cute? Yeah, he would get that every time he looks at his S/O

They could literally be doing anything and he would just throw himself at them, whining about how cute they are

But I think he would hug them the most when they’re in bed and just about to go to sleep

He could lay awake for hours and cuddle them, chatting and kissing with them until his words slur from tiredness

Usually his hugs would be very playful, but also would make his S/O feel very safe at the same time

He’s quite tall, and if his S/O is smaller than him, he would envelope them in his arms

When they’re lying down, he would wrap all his limbs around them, trapping them against his body

If they’re his height or taller, he would always give them back hugs and nuzzle his face against their back

I - I Love You

(How fast do they say the L-word?)

It takes a very long while for Hyunjin to say it surprisingly

It would seem to be a very intimate thing to say for Hyunjin, so he would want to say it with a lot of meaning, not just during a simple conversation

But other than that, he probably prefers to say how much he loves his S/O in different ways like helping them with stuff and affection

When he does tell them, it would be in a situation like if they’re at the beach together late at night

His S/O may have had a bad argument with their sibling or their parent, and Hyunjin would have taken them to get Chinese food and sit in the cold air on the hood of his car to make them forget about their situation

They may be crying in his arms, having suddenly not feeling well and needing some affection

But during that moment and seeing his S/O so vulnerable in front of him would make him soft

It would just slip out, and he wouldn’t regret it when they lift their head and give him a kiss straight on the lips as a “I love you too”

J - Jealousy

(How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He doesn’t get jealous too often, but when he does he gets jealous

Like resting bitch face, cold shoulder jealous

It’s not pretty, and a lot of the time I think his S/O would be able to tell quickly when he’s feeling replaced by someone

But he’d be that annoying type of jealous and be like “no I’m fine” when clearly he’s not

If it happens while they’re out at a party or something, he would be so passively aggressive towards the person he’s jealous of

Beyond petty

But when him and his S/O get back home, he would become so touchy and upset about it

Always begs for their attention and love, since he felt so left out when they were out

Denies it by the morning though, using the excuse “I was just tired”

K - Kisses

(What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss their partner? Where do they like to be kissed?)

With Hyunjin’s big pouty lips, I’m sure he gives the best kisses

He would always be willing to give his S/O kisses, never gives up the opportunity to drown them in his affection

But he’s very teasing about it

Sometimes to annoy his S/O, he’ll pout his lips and lean towards them like he’s about to kiss them, but when they lean in he’ll turn away like nothing happened

Always gets himself pinned and getting smothered when his S/O has put up with it for too long

He doesn’t kiss his S/O passionately in front of other people, especially the other members

Because most likely Minho wouldn’t leave them alone about it

His favourite place to kiss his S/O would be their cheeks

Especially if they have squishy cheeks, since he can press his face against the chub and coo about how cute they are

His favourite place to be kissed would weirdly be around his shoulders and collarbones

Especially after a stressful day and he gets to flop into bed with his S/O and they take his shirt off and give him loving kisses around his neck and shoulders to make him relax

Never fails to help him drift off to sleep in their arms

L - Little Ones

(How are they around children?)

(I had to go back and watch that video of Hyunjin and Changbin playing with kids again for this lmafooo)

Hyunjin actually loves kids

If his S/O has younger siblings/cousins/nieces/nephews who he can play with, omg he’s over the moon

Will spend all his time trying to entertain kids

If there’s ever a time when he and his S/O have to babysit a relative’s baby, he’d immediately turn into dad mode

But throughout the time he would secretly be imagining that him and his S/O are parents looking after their own kid

Some times he becomes a bit of a punching bag for the kids, which is always funny to watch

But seeing his S/O with kids would make him blush so hard though

Like he finds the sight so cute and would always look forward to the far future when they can both have their own little family

M - Morning

(How are mornings spent with them?)

Lazy mornings

Takes him literally ages to open his eyes in the morning

His S/O would always wake up and find themselves wrapped up in his limbs since he becomes so cuddly at night

He prefers to stay in bed for a while and just chat, because he takes a while to wake up fully

They have to pry him off them if they don’t want to sleep in for hours

But quite literally they have to drag him out by his arms while he’s whinging about it being too early

N - Night

(How are nights spent with them?)

At night, he would be the complete opposite than in the morning

Always tries to keep his S/O awake with him because he’s a night owl and wants them to keep him company

Usually at night he would become more quiet though

Like he just wants some down time with is S/O and just spend hours on the couch together watching movies and cuddling

But his favourite would be just lying in bed with them while they play with his long hair or run their fingers along their back

He could lay there for ages in complete bliss, loving the feeling of his S/O’s hands on him comfortingly

O - Open

(When would they start revealing things about themselves?)

This is where I think Hyunjin would struggle a bit with

It would be very hard to get him to open up

Especially about very deep and personal subjects

He seems like he would never want to bother anyone, so telling his S/O about his worries makes him anxious

No matter how much they reassure him, he’d assume they’re only saying it because they have to

The only time he would really open up to them fully would be on days when he’s feeling more emotional than usual

He would lay in their arms and close his eyes as they rub their thumbs across his cheeks and talk about some things on his mind

It wouldn’t happen often as it was rare when he became comfortable to talk about his deep inner emotions

But when it does happen, his S/O would always remember what he said and keep it in mind

P - Patience

(How easily angered are they?)

He never gets angry, he just gets attitude

Knowing him and his sass, no matter how much he loves his S/O, they’re still going to fall victim to his sarcastic remarks whenever he gets the chance to say them

It would be a very rare sight to see him properly mad, since he would most the time just get mildly annoyed

The only time he would ever get mad is if his S/O put themselves in danger or if someone said something about them

So overall, he somewhat has patience

He fights bullshit back with more bullshit, so it cancels it out

Sometimes his passive-aggressive sass would get so bad that his S/O would have to tell him to stfu before he starts a fight

Q - Quizzes

(How much would they remember about their partner?)

His clumsy and forgetful ass would not remember anything

But his S/O can’t take it personally because he actually just can’t remember basic things

He loves them with all his heart, but knowing everything about them just isn’t his strong point

They usually have to remind him about things, like the names of their parents/siblings and their favourite restaurant

They would have to be patient with him, but he weirdly wouldn’t forget anything drastic like anniversaries or dates

R - Remember

(What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

His most favourite moments would definitely be the ones when they’re laughing so hard and smacking each other because they can’t breathe

That would be one of his favourites because his S/O is like his best friend at the same time

But his most favourite moment would honestly be one of their first dates when he brought them to a ice cream parlour late at night

It was around 11 at night and he texted them asking if they wanted to hang out since both of them had had a harsh day

They sat on the dark beach and listened to the calm waves while eating their ice cream, snuggled together in huge coats trying to hide from the cold

Afterwards, they went to the water and splashed each other, their laughter ripping through the silent night beach

It would always be his absolute favourite because he believes it to be the day when he realised he wanted to stay with them

S - Security

(How protective are they? How would they protect their partner? How would they like to be protected?)

He’s actually quite clueless when it comes to being protective

He tries very hard to be a safe space for them and make them feel protected when their together, especially when they’re out somewhere

He does small things like keeping his arm around their torso and pulling them close to his body if someone they didn’t know was approaching them

But overall, if a bad situation was to rise like someone flirting with his S/O or someone just acting weird around them, he wouldn’t be sure what to do

A bit panicky and slightly afraid himself, but he would keep putting himself between the person and his S/O, no matter how much confrontation freaks him out

He would like to be protected in a way that’s emotional

He wants to be protected from his own thoughts, as he seems like an overthinker

So most of the time when he’s not feeling well, his S/O would distract him and always reassure him that he has nothing to worry about and that they love him very much no matter what

T - Try

(How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He would definitely be the type to “out-gift” his S/O on anniversaries

He ALWAYS has to get the better present, or have the better date ideas

He puts so much effort into everything, his S/O could never compete

On anniversaries, they would always wake up to a whole bunch of their favourite flowers and Hyunjin cooking breakfast for them in the kitchen

Would always have them pick where they go

It’s always either they go out to a really romantic and fancy restaurant or they just order fast food and watch movies and make out in front of the tv

For everyday tasks, he does small things throughout the day just to help out his S/O

Like tying their hair back if it’s in their face or giving them one of his hoodies when he thinks they’re cold

They don’t even have to say anything, he just knows

“Babe, how did you know I wanted tea?” “You were giving off “give me tea” vibes for some reason-”

U - Ugly

(What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He has a bad habit of turning the cold shoulder when he has a fight with his S/O

He doesn’t like talking things out, but prefers to just wait until he’s calmed down before going on like nothing happened

Sometimes it would piss his S/O off a lot

On the rare occasion they have really bad arguments, Hyunjin would threaten to sleep on the couch

But when his S/O says “go ahead”, he lowkey would regret it immediately

But he’s petty, and he’s not going to let them win the argument that easily

So he’d try to sleep by himself, but at some time in the early morning he would slip back underneath the covers with them and whisper an apology in their ear while pressing their back against his chest in a tight spoon

He can never keep his stubbornness up for too long. His S/O just has to be patient with him

V - Vanity

(How concerned are they with their looks?)

I don’t think his appearance is one of his main concerns, but just like everyone, he would sometimes become quite insecure

A lot of the time he wouldn’t even mention how he looked, unless his S/O complimented him, so they would assume that he’s confident in his appearance

But when he does doubt himself a bit and perhaps question his S/O’s attraction to him, he would keep it to himself

Until it kind of spills out randomly to them

Like his S/O would say something about a actor/actress’s body and Hyunjin would just say out of the blue “do you wish I looked like that?”

That’s when he would admit to recently not feeling too confident in himself

But perhaps all he needs is a reminding from his S/O how much they love him and his body

W - Whole

(Would they feel incomplete without their partner?)

If Hyunjin had to go a few weeks or even months without his S/O (if he had to go on tour or something), he would gradually start missing them a lot

The first few days/weeks wouldn’t be so hard for him, cause the reassurance that they’re only a phone call away made him feel better

But after a while, he would grow homesick from them and miss their lips on his cheek and their hands on his body

Talking through the phone via skype or facetime would soon not be enough for either of them

He would become more down and become angrier easily

Would seek comfort in Felix, since he’s basically like a little brother to him who he can trust with anything

But when him and his S/O finally get to see each other again, they would not leave each other’s sides for a while

Would even follow each other when they’re at home and one of them gets up to go to another room

X - Xtra

(A random headcanon for them.)

One of his favourite things to do is show his S/O his dances

Loves the fact that they just sit and watch him for hours in the practise room, being so entertained by his graceful moves

Gets so flustered when they keep complimenting his talent though

And also just to make them happy, he would learn dances to their favourite songs

His S/O has an album in their phone just for videos of his dancing

Y - Yuck

(What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He dislikes people who do not have any sense of sympathy

Or people that do not understand that other’s emotions could be fragile

He’s a empathetic and emotional person, so he needs someone who wouldn’t hesitate to scoop him up in their arms when he’s feeling down for no reason

Having someone who would perhaps not understand why he can sometimes feel down randomly would make him frustrated and cause him to bottle things up

Even just seeing the negative trait in people during daily life makes him irritated

In general though, he would hate being rejected by his S/O

They always try to tell him to not take it personally when they say they don’t feel like cuddling one night or they don’t want to talk

He would always act like it doesn’t bother him, but in the back of his mind he’s questioning if he did something to upset them

Z - Zzz

(What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

Sleep talks

Not excessively, but enough for it to wake up his S/O

None of the stuff he says makes sense though, it’s just gibberish

One time his S/O woke up to him shaking their shoulder

“Hyunjin, what’s wrong?” “We... we forgot to take the dog out.” “...we don’t have a dog”

Keeps an app in his phone that records when he sleep talks

Sometimes he would listen to them and hear his S/O responding to his weird statements

Never fails to make him slightly embarrassed though

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