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sanderssideswriting · 3 years

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ship: prinxiety, background intrulogical

genre: fluff

warnings: swearing, like one sexual innuendo, very breif mention of murder (as a joke, this is fluff after all)

summary: Radio AU where Virgil runs the 11-1 am radio on his college and every night someone calls to complain about his music selections and request disney, and Virgil never plays disney.

Virgil sat in his swivel chair and put on the headphones “sup bitches I’m back and this time with like three monsters because finals are a bitch and sleep can suck my dick. The first song of the night is Lotta True Crime by Peneople Scott. Why? Because I say it is that’s why.” Virgil put the song on and worked on his final project as the songs played.

The phone rang and Virgil groaned and checked the number. This dick again. He picked up and put it on air since people seemed to love listening to him and disney guy argue.

“listen asshole if you want to listen to Disney so fucking badly then apply for a spot and stop calling me.”

there’s a laugh “how about you just play some disney then? if you do I’ll stop calling. Because your music taste sucks.”

Virgil rolls his eyes “bitch apply for an opening and have a disney hour. And let me listen to my music, because not everyone loves fucking disney.”

“Well many people do so why not play one song.”

Virgil snorts “first no, and second if I had to I’d make everyone regret it and play let it go.”

“Let it go is great!”

“bye bye Princey, stop calling”

Virgil hung up “and since Princey called you know what we’re playing? MCR because I know he hates it. So this one’s for you princey, up next after this ad because this place needs money. By the way if you’re not a broke bitch donate because this job is like kinda decent and I like making you all listen to the music I like. Blood by MCR is up next” Virgil played the ad and leaned back in his chair.

“Why do you take his calls if you know he’ll just be annoying?” Janus asks in class.

Virgil shrugs “since it started I get more listeners which is good for the station.”

“I think it’s funny, cause you two have cute pet names for each other, princey and emo nightmare” Remus says.

Virgil elbows him “they’re not pet names.”

“they are,” Janus says, moving so Virgil couldn’t elbow him.

Roman waits to dial the number, he had to admit he sort of enjoyed his and emo nightmare’s conversations, who refused to reveal his name or grade.

At first they’d been annoying and he’d genuinely complained about all the emo music and asking to play disney but it’d soon become a nightly ritual, that had very quickly ruined Roman’s sleep schedule.

He dialed the number “seriously, why all the emo music, emo nightmare?”

“you just answered your own question princey, why the obsession with disney songs princey? See? Sounds fucking stupid.”

Roman sighs dramatically “you wound me emo nightmare. But seriously what’ll it take to get you to play ONE disney song?”

“a hundred grand, that’s how much the station needs to keep running, do that and I’ll play ONE disney song.”

“four.”

“Three songs and a hundred and fifty grand, fifty grand per song. final offer. and I get to pick the songs.’

Roman nods “deal,”

“oh and, you have until the end of finals to get the money donated, and I’ll make the gofundme, not you.”

That’s like a month and a half away Roman thinks I’ll have enough time. “sure thing emo nightmare.”

Roman’s emo hung up. He smiles like an idiot.

“Why not ask him out? it’s clear you’re fond of him” Roman’s roommate Logan says from his side of the room.

“ask out a guy I don’t even know the name of? yeah sure” Roman snorts.

“what? Scared you’ll be rejected? I cannot believe I’m saying this, but Roman I am getting more dick then you have been ever since you started talking to your radio boy.” Logan says in an even tone.

Roman pretends to gag “you don’t need to tell me how much you and my brother have done it Logan, you two being together is enough for me to want to bleach my eyes.”

“you’re no better whenever you’re going out with someone, or even hooked up with a slightly above average guy.”

Remus barged in “Loooo I need help studying.”

Roman stood up “that’s my queue to leave.”

Remus watches Roman go “so what where you two talking about?”

“oh you know, he’s still calling the campus radio station to ask for disney songs” Logan says.

“Wait, Roman is Princey?” Remus asks, he starts laughing

“Yes? You didn’t know?”

Remus cackles “no! oh this is great! My best friend Virgil does the 11 to 1 radio, he’s Emo Nightmare and Roman is his Princey”

“We could set them up, Roam is so lovesick, I swear he’s head over heels for him and he hasn’t even met Virgil” Logan says.

Remus gasps “this is why I love you! Of course we’re going to set them up.”

Logan and Remus came up with a plan, they’d invite Roman and Virgil to a study session and then never showed up, leaving Virgil and Roman to wait.

Virgil puts on his headphones and starts loudly playing panic at the disco and reading over his shitty notes.

Someone taps him on the shoulder “hey can you turn the emo shit down, I’m trying to study and it’s really loud.”

Virgil turns it down a bit “that good?”

he nods “yeah, where you also ghosted for a study session?”

“Yeah I was, my best friend and his nerdy boyfriend where supposed to help me study, they probably forgot all about me.” Virgil says.

“Logan And Remus? Remus is my brother and Logan’s my roommate” Roman says.

“Yeah, well since we’re both here we could study together if you want” please say no please say no.

“Sounds good!” Roman says.

Fuck.

Virgil and Roman studied for awhile and Virgil very slowly started warming up to Roman. “ah shit I have to go, see you round I guess” Virgil says packing up his stuff, he wanted to have some alone time before his shift.

“ok Bye Virgil,” Roman says packing up, he had to go do his own thing, which would probably end up becoming a quick nap before his emo nightmare started his turn being the radio host.

Virgil sat in the chair “what up bitches, so far the goal has 10k, so no disney tonight, or ever because this is on a time crunch and 150k is a fuck ton of money for broke college students. And now onto Fuck you by Lily Allen. Why? Because she’s underrated and because I said so.” Virgil played the song.

Virgil got the call around 12:30 “you’re calling later then usual princey, and no, no disney tonight.”

“Oh I was just about to ask. And also I was asking how to find the gofundme.”

“It’s on the UCLA radio website, can’t miss it. Now let me do my fucking job” Virgil hung up and played MCR as was tradition.

What he didn’t know was Roman recorded the phone call and posted it everywhere he could anonymously and waited.

Virgil checked the go fund me in the morning “it has fifty k already?! What the fuck? Princey what did you do?”

Virgil waited for the nightly call “Hey what the fuck how is the goal at sixty k? How the fuck princey?”

He laughed “I asked the internet for help, I think most of it’s from tiktok, you’re going to have to play disney emo nightmare”

“fuck you princey and your stupid obsession with disney.”

“you have an obsession with my chemical romance and Brendon Urie”

“name three other artists I play on here then bitch.”

“Mother Mother, Lily Allen and as of late Derivakat” Roman says without hesitation.

Virgil was speechless for a second, then hung up. “fucking bitch, you guys know what time it is” he played Teenagers.

A week and a half passed and the funds had slowly been going up, and Virgil and Roman’s calls continued nightly as usual.

Virgil and Roman met up a few times to study for finals, sometimes with Remus and Logan, sometimes without.

the goal just barely missed the end of finals. Virgil smirked “No disney today, or ever because you people missed the goal byyyyy” Virgil checked the go fund me “three thousand dollars. I’d say better luck next time but there won’t be a next time.” he chuckled. The phone rang and Virgil picked up, knowing it was Princey.

“oooh too late princey no disney songs during my shift.”

“you might want to check the gofundme one last time my dear emo nightmare.”

Virgil refreshes the page “first of all, I’m not yours bitch second- what the fuck, how?” the goal had been met.

Roman laughs “play the disney emo. Play. The fucking. Disney.”

Virgil could tell he was gonna gloat so he hung up.

Virgil grumbles and gets the disney queued “ok fine the goal was met, so time for my suffering, I have queued Fixer Upper from Frozen because it’s a shitty song with a shitty message. Make a man out of you because I like Mulan and for everyone’s inconvenience I have How Far I’ll Go so have fun with that stuck in your head.”

Roman was a bit insulted when Emo nightmare hung up on him, so he called him back once the songs had ended “wasn’t so hard was it?”

“for you maybe, it was for me,” Virgil hung up and blocked the number.

Over the Summer both Virgil and Roman found themselves missing their talks. Roman so much so he applied for one of the newly opened spots for the next semester from 2-5 pm.

Virgil drove onto campus at 4, putting on campus radio and was met with disney. the song ended and the new host spoke “and I hope everyone liked that, up now is a short commercial break.”

Virgil nearly swerved off the road and pulled over and called the station.

Roman picked up. “Hey what the actual FUCK?” Virgil says as soon as he does.

Roman laughs “oh how the tables have turned Emo Nightmare”

“I hate you, I fucking hate you what the actual fuck princey”

he laughed more “You yourself said that working here is nice, and there was an opening, so I took it. You should be happy, I mean now I won’t brother you about playing disney.”

Virgil frowned “yeah yeah, whatever princey have fun with that.”

“oh I will emo nightmare, I absolutely will.” Roman hung up feeling happy in a way he hadn’t felt all summer.

Virgil unpacked his stuff in his new dorm, he was a little pissed but also excited. Maybe he and princey would finally meet face to face. Why am I excited about that? I hate him, at the least he annoyed me every day for months, but he did raise a bunch of money. Even if his disney obessed ass is super annoying.

Roman walked in at 6 “hey Virgil, I’m guessing you’re going to be my roommate?”

Virgil looked up from his laptop “I guess, don’t take my monsters from the fridge and we’ll be golden, or blast disney 24/7″

Roman chuckled “what do you have against disney?”

“Micky Mouse killed my parents in front of me after I said that Merida was my favorite princess.” Virgil said dryly.

Roman chuckled “that’s why I dedicated my life to the mouse.”

“That’s why I swore to get my revenge on the mouse.”

“I won’t blast disney 24/7 but you can’t blast your emo music.” Roman says

Virgil snorted “dude I have the worst anxiety I don’t even own a speaker. so you don’t blast your music, I won’t blast mine and we’ll be fine.”

“Deal,”

Roman called that night like always and Virgil was ready “aww Princey, did you miss me that much?”

“not really, but I’m still trying to get you to willingly play a disney song.”

Virgil rolled his eyes “you know what, it’s a new year, time for a new leaf, I’ll humor you princey and play a disney song.”

“wait really?”

Virgil queued up Mad At Disney “no.” he hung up and the song started.

Virgil and Roman went back to their usual routine of lowkey flirting with each other during Virgil’s shift, and sometimes during Roman’s.

They where getting along well as roomates but hadn’t figured out that they where each other’s Princey and emo nightmare.

Somehow he and Princey had gotten into an argument about if Cruella would be a good or bad movie. Roman had hope it would be, Virgil wasn’t so convinced.

“Princey, she is a completely evil character, she can’t be redeemable, she shouldn’t be. She wanted to make puppies into a coat, that’s fucked up. There’s no black and white she’s bad and that’s that.”

“Maybe if you gave the movie a chance!”

“fuck no! did you not hear what I just fucking said?”

“then how about we see it then we can see who’s right?”

“fine, I’m free at three this Satuday.” Virgil said, way too caught up in the moment.

“same, see you then emo nightmare, I’ll be by the doors waiting.”

“fine, but I’m going to be right.”

“then it’s a date!”

“I guess it is!” Virgil hung up.

he didn’t realize he’d said yes to going out on a date with a guy he didn’t even know until the next day.

The whole campus was freaking out about it since the station had blown up quite a bit because of Virgil and Roman’s nightly arguments.

Roman left early, he’d dressed up a bit, and had a disney shirt with a little crown logo on it, it wasn’t that obvious but he figured it’d be telling enough.

Virgil put on a bit more eyeliner then usual and fishnets under his ripped jeans but that was about it, he chose to be petty and waited until about 3:20 to go to the doors where Roman wait waiting.

Virgil walked passed him at first. Roman saw him “emo nightmare?”

Virgil stopped “are you fucking kidding me?” he got a few glares from parents. “You’re princey? my fucking roommate?”

“I did not plan that, but yeah I am, and you’re my emo nightmare.”

Virgil rolled his eyes “still not yours princey, come on the movies about to start.”

They exited the movie and Virgil grinned “I fucking told you it’d be bad, I told you!”

“yeah yeah, you did it was bad. Want to get some coffee?”

“sure, I’ll pay,” Virgil said casually.

Roman grinned “I’ll win you over one day my emo nightmare.”

“stop begging me to play disney music and maybe you will.”

#roman sanders #virgil sanders #sanders sides #thomas sanders #sander sides #prinxiety #roman x virgil #roman sanders x virgil sanders

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maggotbxby · 3 years

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Fire and Ice - Carol Denning x OC/Reader A/B/O Fic

SUMMARY: Sallie Novak, a 19 year old omega, gets sent to litchfield max for attempted murder, and has to survive in a prison that consists of mostly Betas and Alphas.

CHAPTER ONE

Sallie Novak never thought she would end up in prison, but with the unfortunate circumstances that have occurred over the past 2 years of her life, it honestly may be the better option than being at home.

Being an omega, she was told to do the right thing and never the wrong thing, her mother raised her that way. At first, it was okay. Her mother was a strong omega and taught Sallie to control her heats and not get swept up in relationships. She didn’t end up as a pregnant teen, so she didn’t do too bad.

Though when Sallie was 16, her mother met Dan, an ex-military alpha who is the biggest fucking cuntstick on the planet. He actually seemed incredibly nice at first, for the first year of knowing him, actually. He had money and took care of Sallie and her mother who didn’t have much since her father died when she was 12, and her mother worked as a manager at a grocery store.

After Dan and her mother got married, however, the dynamic shifted, Dan seemed to turn into a different person. He got lazy and grew a dependence for alcohol, and they quickly discovered that he got violent when he drank. He began to get very abusive towards Sallie’s mother, and it sent her into a highly depressive state. She lost her job and hardly left her bedroom most days.

Sallie was unsure why or how Dan’s attention got shifted to her instead of her mother, but it did. Sallie would come home from school and Dan would be drunk, and he would find ridiculous excuses to be pissed off at her; she didn’t do the dishes before she left, or she forgot to feed the dog, anything. On the good days, he would scream at her and she’d shut herself in her room and cry, on the bad days, she would be in her bedroom with belt marks, scrapes, and bruises all over her body.

He never took interest in her sexually, as far as she knew. She took suppressants and wore scent blockers so he could never smell her, but he did make occasional comments about her figure and slapped her ass a couple times, so, he wasn’t innocent in that regard either.

Eventually, she had enough of the abuse, she couldn't take it anymore, so one day, when she was bringing him coffee (Which he made her do, every morning), she slipped rat poison in it. But the motherfucker caught on, he could taste it in his fucking coffee, and he wasted no time calling the police.

That’s when she knew she was fucked.

So Sallie ended up in prison. Granted, the time for her was shorter than most, but as an omega, she knew there wouldn’t be many like her. And there weren’t. Omegas didn’t commit crimes and go to jail like alphas do. They stayed pretty and did little offenses that very rarely got them in trouble. Omegas were pure little creatures, even though a lot of them had a nasty sex life, they always kept things clean on the outside and blamed others for their faults like the prissy little bitches they were. Well, Sallie never did that. She took the blame, and though she tried and tried to report Dan’s abusive behaviour, her mother, always denied it, and it was the word of an attempted murderer against that of a woman with a clean record and a veteran.

So here she was, litchfield fucking Max. Walking in with cuffs on her hands, glaring back at everyone who looked at her. The prison provided scent blockers for omegas, and hormone suppressants, but that didn’t make Sallie any less nervous, the suppressants weren’t the same ones Sallie was used to taking, and the blockers weren’t very strong.

They stopped at a gate, and next to it was a large “C” on the wall. “Welcome to C-Block” the guard said as the gate opened and they walked in.

Even with the blockers, she noticed some alphas got a whiff of her smell as she walked by, causing some to lick their lips as if they were a treat, palm at themselves with obvious sexual frustration, while others bit down on their bottom lip to seem less obvious of their intentions when gazing at her body. She shouldn’t be here. She should be somewhere else with more protection, yet here she was… She didn’t realize she'd be mixed in with alphas, even if there wasn’t that many. Sallie didn’t have a plan for what she was going to do while she was here. She didn’t have a plan on staying safe and keeping herself up in the long run. She had nothing.

She was so fucked.

Practically shoved into her little cell, Sallie found herself back towards the guard who had pushed her in. “So, inmate,” the guard spoke. Helman, was it? “Most of the time Omegas are put into Florida, but since we're short on space there, you'll have to stay here until we find an alternative. There aren’t many alphas here, but there are a couple. That means no making yourself vulnerable; cover your scent as much as you can, or you will be fucked over if one of us isn't here. We can’t be by your side every hour of the day, and the male guards won’t be the most reliable if you accidentally seduce them with your scent.”

Sallie wanted to scoff at the male’s words, staring at him. Her expression clearly showed she was nervous. “My cellmate isn’t an alpha, right?” She asked.

“Obviously not, your cellmate is a beta, one of our most docile inmates. Don't expect any more special treatment just because you're an omega though. You got yourself in this mess, and now there’s no way out. You should have been a good little whore and stayed put instead of going out and doing bad things.”

The guard’s words tore right through Sallie, making her go pale for a moment. The look in his eyes showed that he wasn’t messing around and that he was looking for what many of the inmates were looking for: A hole to fuck.

This was her life now.

“This was the end of your special treatment, Novak. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner will not be taken to you. Dinner is in ten, tomorrow you have orientation after breakfast. Don't be late for it. We have eyes on you, so you have little to worry about,” the guard was smirking. “I would get a head start on getting to dinner.The good trays always get taken by the alphas.”

Sallie breathed shakily, nodding her head slowly.

Keep your head up, Novak. They won't hurt you.

——

“Ooh, look at this new cookie, you don’t look half bad,” a voice jeered at Sallie when she went to get in line for her dinner tray. She couldn’t resist glaring over, seeing a slightly overweight girl with badly bleached hair laughing at her. She was with a group who already had their dinner trays, sitting at a table. Sallie gave the girl a dirty look, but then she noticed a movement behind her.

It was just a tiny movement, a cocking of the head. And yet for a second when Sallie saw her, she forgot how to breath. The woman was staring right at her, eyes narrowed how a predator would watch its prey. Sallie immediately knew this woman was an alpha, not even having to smell her. Sallie’s brain told her to look away but she simply couldn’t. She didn’t know if it was her omega needing this or just deep curiosity, but she kept her gaze, taking in large 80’s glasses and the end of a lollipop that stuck out of her mouth. But then she blinked, and Sallie felt her face flush and the world came rushing back. She quickly looked away and bore her gaze at the food cart, making sure not to look back at the woman.

When she got her food and sat at an empty table, 2 inmates quickly came up and sat on each side of her, their smell flooding her senses; alphas.

“So… what's your name, pretty little omega? Why did you end up in this sickening place? You must have fucked up, bad.”

“Shut the hell up,” Sallie spat.

“Feisty. I like that.” A second prisoner spoke up, grinning towards her. Her hand began to rub Sallie’s thigh, causing her to flinch. “Oh, they were right about omegas… You are sensitive, huh, pretty girl?”

“Leave me the fuck alone…” She growled, nudging her off her thigh. “I don't fuck around like that. Just because I'm an omega doesn't mean I'm not strong.”

“But I think it does… You see, if all of us were to pin you against this table right now, there would be no escape. I think the guards would even join in on the fun! Either that or we would get thrown in the SHU, but none of us give a shit about that. All we care about is that we might be getting a wet hole to fuck…”

“Hey, knock it off.” A woman’s voice rang through, and the two immediately scattered, there was an instant heaviness in the air. The fear the voice instilled in the other alphas made Sallie nervous as fuck. She looked over and realized it was the voice of the woman she saw earlier. She was no longer looking at Sallie, she was now speaking to the girl with the awful hair.

“Oi Gapman, go sit with that cookie. And nobody fuck with her, got it?” A heavy Bronx accent rang out from that girl, she sounded almost annoyed to say what she did.

A few moments later a thin woman with greasy blonde hair came up to Sallie and sat with her. She was an Omega, Sallie could tell simply by her demeanour, and the alpha bite mark on her neck. Knowing she wasn’t the only omega here made her feel a little bit more safe.“Sorry about these guys, they’re awful here to omegas, but in my experience Carol doesn’t tolerate a bunch of horny alphas like Barb does over in D-Block, so you should be fine. Oh, I’m Chapman, uh, Piper.” She said and stuck her hand out.

Sallie shook her hand with a blank expression. “Carol?” She asked

“She runs the gang here in C-Block. Everything goes through her. I haven't been here long, but I’ve seen her gang do some shit, I wouldn’t mess with her. Oh and her fucking right hand is a bitch, Badison’s her name, the one who yelled at me to come over here in the first place.”

“Badison?” Sallie chuckled. “What kind of name is that?”

“I’m not entirely sure, but she’s my cellmate, and it’s torture. Don’t get on her bad side like I did. She’s just a beta, and honestly I think her attitude is to try to overcompensate for her genetics.”

Sallie just nodded and got lost in thought for a moment. She really didn’t care about this ‘Badison’ character. She did care about Carol though… The quick scurrying off from the other alphas made more sense now, they’re all scared of her. Sallie wonders how long she’s been in here for, and what she’s done.

——

About 15 minutes later, Sallie returned to her cell to try and get some rest. Upon entering she saw a short, blue haired girl sitting on the top bunk reading a book.

“Uh, hey, you must be my cellmate. I didn’t see you when I first got assigned. I’m Sallie Novak.”

The girl looked up from her book and grinned, hopping down from her bunk. “Great! They’re finally giving me a cellmate! I’m Jacs Walker, sorry I didn’t see you in admission, I’ve been in medical, caught a shiv in the ribs a couple days ago from a dickhead alpha over in D-Block.”

“Damn, sorry, that had to suck.” Sallie replied, kind of dumbfounded how positive this girl's energy was for just being shivved.

“It’s all good, shit happens, I shouldn’t have been trying to score from them. Anyways, you can have the bottom bunk, and those hooks there.” She pointed at the wall, “I know you’re an omega, but don't worry, I’m not into girls.”

Sallie nodded, not really sure how to respond, and she sat in her bunk. “If you don’t mind, I’m exhausted, I need some rest.”

“Of course, intake day is the worst! I’d know, I’ve been sent here 3 different times. Get some sleep.”

It wasn’t long before she drifted off to sleep with thoughts of large glasses and bright blue eyes…

#carol denning #carol denning x reader #present day carol denning #x reader #fanfic #oitnb #oitnb season 6 #oitnb fanfic #lesbian #abo #abo au #alpha/beta/omega dynamics

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joyrose-fandomer · 3 years

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Please, don’t fall for me (Sanders Sides fantasy school AU) Chap 3

Relationships : Future (Prinxiety, Intrological, Mocite, Platonique Moxiety and platonique Analogical)

POV : Virgil

TW : Water, Manipulation

Previous<<

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Virgil couldn't focus on anything after that.

He kept looking at the pamphlet and the folded paper on his laps.

The pamphlet showed a picture of a big white building. It looked like a bad copy of Harvard.

It was named "Pine hills High school and College of art, sport and science" which was long for nothing and boring like literally any school.

But most importantly, it looked pricy. So Virgil looked around the pamphlet but he couldn't find any price anywhere.

Tss, of course, they wouldn't.

It said on the pamphlet that the school had good infrastructure and good results in every sportive, artistic and scientific field. That it had 100% chance for the student to have a diploma and list several students that became important.

Virgil didn't know any of those names and most importantly, never heard of that school.

On the other hand, the folded paper was a lot less fancy. There was no picture only a name and a few commentaries.

It didn't look official in any way. In fact, it was very obvious that Remy had written everything.

But it gave a strange feeling, like the ink and paper weren't normal. Like it could disappear at any moment if Virgil stopped looking at it or if anyone else looked at it.

He knew it didn't make much sense, but he could swear that he saw the words glitter from time to time.

"The Argus school" was the name written on the paper.

"School for young magical creatures to learn how to control their powers in safety."

So, like a school of magic? When did Virgil step into Harry Potter?

It was so cliché and suspicious, Remy was surely messing with him.

What if it was all an elaborate prank?

What if it was a kidnapping technic and Virgil was falling straight for it?

Should he call the police?

Would they believe him?

But what if it was not a joke?

It was so unrealistic but it explained so many things...

That day when school ended Virgil didn't directly go home.

He went to the pool.

"Hello, do you have a ticket ?"

The young women at the entrance asked.

Oh. Well, he needed to confirm that too eventually.

The high school boy took a deep breath.

"No, I forgot...sorry"

Her voice was suddenly a lot softer.

"It's ok, I can give you one. It's 7$"

Alright, he won't have to meet her again, he could do it.

He took off his mask and hood

"I'm sorry miss. I forgot to bring money"

She blinked like she was trying to adjusted her eyes after being flashed with a stong light.

"Alright, I will take your name and you can pay later"

"Wait really?" Virgil exclaimed, not expecting the woman to actually let him get away with it so easily.

The woman smiled. "Yes, but don't tell anyone, I'm not supposed to do that. So what's your name ?"

"Virgil Apkallu"

"That's an interesting name could you spell it ?"

Virgil spelled his name like he always did. Before remembering an important fact.

"I don't have my swimsuit!"

She laughed. Virgil couldn't blame her, he really didn't think that through.

"Do you want to go home to pick it up?"

If he got home it would be too late, his father wouldn't let him go back out again.

He looked up at the women. Making eye contact with someone for the first time in what felt like an eternity.

"If I go home I don't know if I would be able to come back..."

She froze and thought for a bit before walking away and coming back with her wallet.

"Here, go to the dispenser and get yourself a swimsuit"

"Wha- but it's your money, I can't"

"It's fine kid, it's just 2$. Now go before we close"

Virgil sighed and bought simple black shorts. He thanked the woman and she let him get in.

He felt guilty. He knew he didn't ask her to do all that and she was the one who insisted. But he couldn't help but feel like he manipulated that woman.

But it's what he was trying to do, didn’t he ?

The pool was empty. It was late and during fall it was too cold to go swimming.

The pool attendants weren't here, probably thinking that no one would come at that hour.

So Virgil had the water for himself.

Time to get it over with.

The good thing with being an anxious mess like Virgil is that you end up collecting techniques to get rid of disillusions.

Often the biggest disillusions were the hardest to get rid of. It's the ones that make the less sense.

Like thinking everyone you meet want to kill you, or that your parents were secretly robots.

But the good thing is. The bigger they are the easier it is to prove your brain wrong.

If you don't turn into a wolf under the full moon, you're not a werewolf.

If you don't have magic powers you're not a witch.

And if you can't breathe underwater you're not a siren.

A normal human can't survive underwater for more than 5 minutes, a trained diver can stay at best 12 minutes.

Virgil only had to stay underwater until he felt the huge to breathe.

If he could stay underwater for longer than that without needing to go out to breathe then... haha no, it was stupid last time he was just confused because he fell into the pool in the middle of a panic attack.

He will be out in a few seconds.

He slowly went down the stairs. The water was colder than he remembered.

It was probably reckless to test that alone but at least no-one was here to stop him.

Once he was in, the cold was a lot more bearable. In fact, it was numbing pleasantly.

The only swimmer went around the pool using the border to hold himself. But he didn't really need it, it was mostly the lack of confidence.

Eventually, he let go of the side of the pool and swam to the center of the water.

He felt free. Like floating in space. Swiming was so easy, it was second nature.

Virgil set the timer at 0.

And go !

He let himself sink.

The echoes of the empty room, the lapping of the water, the far-away cars.

It all dissolved into silence.

The golden hue of the sunset reflected all around, slithering in the water like hundreds of glowing vines.

Virgil was still holding his nose under the water but he didn't feel the need to breathe. Actually, he was already breathing.

He brushed the side of his neck. His skin was taking off but it didn't hurt.

He breathed in.

Water entered the gap in his neck.

He breathed out.

Water went out of the gap.

Gills.

He never had gills. Since when did he had gills?

He let go of all the air he was holding in a string of bubbles.

He watched them float away. Reflecting the sunlight, making them shine the away fairy lights would.

Bright and clear.

When he tried to breathe through the nose, the airway seemed blocked and he ended up breathing by his Gilles again.

He was breathing underwater. He could see underwater.

He could see and breathe better than on land.

His hair fell on his face.

He could see his own eyes reflecting in them like a mirror and his eyes reflected his hair the same way.

This was new. Usually, they were both jet black.

He swam to one of the Hublot around the pool.

His hair reflected the pool around, perfectly merging with the water like they were trying their hardest to disappear. His eyes were hardly any better. They were glossy and blue with gold lights just like the water around.

Usually, his eyes were so dark he could barely see his pupils well now that his eyes were different... He still couldn't. Apparently, his pupils also got this mirror effect.

This one was probably not a new thing. The boy could remember every time someone had the great idea of pointing a flashlight at him only to scream because his pupils were shining like a wild animal.

The confused boy swam around.

It was so simple, like taking a walk around the park.

So peaceful,

So comfortable,

So pretty,

So safe,

It felt like home.

Virgil didn't know how much time he spent here. He didn't want to look at the timer.

He didn't want to walk. He didn't want to choke on air. He didn't want to feel the pressure of the world.

This was where he belonged. He was happy.

He didn't want to go.

He looked up. The golden light turned silver.

It was night. He needed to go home.

With a sigh, the half siren swam out. Posing the timer but not looking at it.

Everything was so heavy out there. Virgil dresses up slowly and difficultly. His clothes stuck to him and made moving even harder.

Taking a deap breath of his inhaler and dragging himself away from the pool.

The woman looked surprised that he was still here but she still waved him goodby with a smile.

The cold autumn wind gave him a headache, the boy hid his wet hair in is hood and walked.

By the time he arrived home, his body was freezing.

His mind bearly felt anything.

"Do you have any idea how late it is?

I was so worried! Where were you ?!"

His father immediately yelled when he opened the door.

Virgil stayed silent. He didn't feel guilty, just, empty.

He walked around mindlessly, working only on muscle memory. His father still yelling behind him but he couldn't hear anything.

When he took off his hood his father went silent and stared at him wearily.

"Virgil, why are you soaked ?"

His son took a deep breath and locked eyes with his parent with a serious expression.

"Dad. Who is my mother ?"

***<>============<>***

Sorry, the story didn’t advence a lot this chapter, I really just wanted to right water again ! (^u^’)

Tag list : @angstysunshine @sander-sides-fics

@moments-of-selves @sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes (I still don’t know if you want me to tag you or not so if you want me to stop just tell me ok ? (^u^))

#sanders sides fanfiction #fanfiction #sanders side au #virgil sanders #sander sides

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babysubinnie · 3 years

Text

asahi’s countdown // park jeongwoo

💎 pairing:: park jeongwoo x reader 💎 genre:: fluff, emotional, idol!jeongwoo 💎 words:: 2.2k (i got carried away help) 💎 summary:: after training for so long, you got let go from the company, how the hell were you supposed to tell treasure (most importantly jeongwoo) that this would ruin all the plans to debut together?

a/n: also do you see this mf man he’s so goddamn gorgeous ——————————————————————————

"i'm sorry y/n, but i think we're going to have to let you go. you're an amazing dancer, and if i could, i would debut you just as a dancer. but unfortunately i can't." our ceo had said to me and I looked down trying not to let my tears fall down my face.

"okay." i nodded looking up until i knew that my tears weren't going to fall because i knew that if i let my tears fall, i was going to lose my position at the company forever. i probably won’t be able to come back if i cried about this.

"i'm sorry." he put his hand on my knee pretending that he cared about me, but in my head, i was screaming at him. i deserved to debut after going through hell and back. i worked so hard to get where i was, and especially to be a famous dancer. i wanted to debut, but i mean who wouldn’t want to after working so hard.

"it's okay. i totally understand." i didn't understand why he did it but i got up and walked to the practice room where all of the boys were. how was i supposed to tell treasure that i was leaving after years of training with them?

"what did he want?" the entire maknae line ran up to me and i looked down trying not to cry again but it obviously didn’t work. if i was really upset, nothing i did, or the boys did, would make me happier.

"it's not important." i shook my head trying to push it off because i didn’t want to even think about it. they hugged me out of habit not knowing that i seriously needed this more than anything in the world. i looked up after hugging junghwan to see that jeongwoo was biting his lip as he stared at me.

"of course it is. tell us what he said." jeongwoo smiled walking over to me before i slowly dropped my head to look down at the floor. i couldn't tell jeongwoo of all people. i could tell anyone, including jihoon and hyunsuk but i couldn’t tell jeongwoo. i just froze when he asked me. i wanted to give him any answer but seriously i couldn’t. i really didn't want to embarrass myself in front of him. he grabbed my wrist pulling me towards him, but i only pulled my wrist back.

"don't worry about it." i ran out of the building covering my mouth with tears falling out of my eyes. i heard my name get called multiple times but i completely ignored them. they tried chasing me but before they could catch up to me, i got into my car, and drove as fast as i could. of course i was upset about this. looking up to his eyes made me feel even worse. i felt like i was letting him down. no of course i was letting him down. the two of us were supposed to debut together. we were supposed to go on stage together. everything we do together as an idol was gone.

that was the very last thing i said to the boys. for the next few months, they called me constantly, and texted me constantly. they kept trying to meet up with me, but i blocked every single one of them. i hadn't seen them or talked to them for at least three years now. they went through yg treasure box, and of course i watched each episode and voted too. i started just dancing in workshops, but specifically the ones that taught contemporary. i wasn’t sure why but i always felt an urge to do contemporary when i was upset.

*beep*

"yo y/n, there's a private workshop happening at yg entertainment, singing workshop with jeongwoo and yedam. a dance one with mashiho and doyoung. lastly, a rap one with hyunsuk and haruto. i signed us up, and sent our video in. we got it. it's today, so i'm coming to pick you up in 5. be ready soon." my bestfriend had texted me the minute i finished practicing. she didn't know that i was an ex-trainee at yg. if that was the reason we got into the class, then i wouldn't know how to explain it to her. i really hope this wasn’t the reason for us being accepted.

i replied to her text and quickly found a crop top, my black cargo pants, and boots. i tied my hair up in a bun before running downstairs only to see her already waiting for me. i giggled when she was gawking at her phone background of hyunsuk. she was head over heels for this guy.

"let's go." she smiled giggling at me before we got into the car and headed to yg. i was nervous, because after all, it has been three years since i last saw all 12 of them. hopefully i didn't have to see all 12 of them. they would definitely ask me what had happened, and why i cut off all contact with them.

"i'm so excited. i can't believe i’m finally gonna meet the love of my life." she squealed as we walked through the doors. nothing's changed. i thought to myself smiling while looking down at the ground. we walked up to the desk slowly and as i looked up, it was the same lady that saw me walk out those doors, bawling my eyes out.

"y/n? i’m so happy to see you! i haven’t seen you in a long time." the lady at the desk greeted us, then made a face at me. i shook my head and looked down trying to tell her not to say anything, but it was too late. she already told her.

"yes. i haven’t seen you in a long time too!" i nodded and decided that if i was going to go along with it, or just ignore it. but in the end, i decided that i should go with it.

"how does she know you?" my best friend whispered in my ear when i was still at the desk before moving my eyes down to look at the ground. when i looked up, she smiled sweetly at me before telling me that the boys were in the practice room that they always loved practicing in. i knew who debuted, and it just so happened that i was close with every single one. especially park jeongwoo. when we walked into the practice room, i didn’t think that all of treasure was going to be there, and they were. every goddamn one.

“it doesn’t matter.” i pushed her into the practice room taking a deep breath before walking in, and there they were smiling at me. well of course until i actually made eye contact with them. they were happy. they didn’t need me and i was happy they were happy. they’ve gone through too much. he was standing with haruto and jaehyuk, with his arms on both of their shoulders, laughing. i smiled at him in awe because i was so happy that he still smiled like that. he shot his head up when hyunsuk said my name.

"holy fuck. y/n?" hyunsuk started tearing up and the rest of the boys didn’t take very long to do the same. when jeongwoo looked away from jaehyuk and made eye contact with me, he ran to me as fast as possible. he put both of his arms around my waist swinging me around in circles. i’m going to be honest when i say this is the biggest hug we’ve ever had. i missed him more than anything in the world.

“hi y/n.” jeongwoo smiled with tears filling his eyes, while the rest of the boys were looking at the two of us. you can’t forget my best friend who was in absolute shock.

“j-jeongwoo.” i stuttered with my voice stuck in my throat. i forgot how to speak. when i looked into his eyes, i felt the whole world stop. i always thought i could speak to jeongwoo without stuttering, but seriously i was wrong. after all these years, he still makes me nervous as hell.

“i missed you so fucking much. i’m so happy you’re back.” jeongwoo smiled at me with tears now falling down his cheeks. i’m saying that like i wasn’t crying myself. when i decided to do this workshop, i wasn’t expecting to come back to yg. i honestly wasn’t but after seeing all 12 of my boys, i wanted to come back. of course i wanted to. these boys were my life, it just took me three years to realize it.

“jeongw-”

“please tell me you’re coming back to us love. i don’t think we could ever let you go again. three years is too long.” hyunsuk walked over to me sticking out his hand for me to take. i smiled taking his hand before he pulled me out of jeongwoo’s arms and into his arms. hyunsuk was the only one that could convince me right now. he was the only one that could convince me. ever.

“suk...” i looked down at my feet because i swear if i looked up at him, i would 100% give into him. i always thought that hyunsuk was the mom of the group, and this just proved my point. i totally forgot the reason for coming here, until i looked into the mirror to see my partner in crime staring at all of us with eyes that could kill.

“can someone please explain what the hell is going on here?” she threw her arms out into the air glaring straight at me before crossing her arms in front of her. she scoffed at me then turned to look at junkyu. her second bias stood there giggling when she smiled at him.

“i can give you the summary!” asahi stepped up smiling at her then winked at me. he walked over to me pulling me into a hug whispering that he missed me more than anything in the world. i giggled when he flipped me around so that i was now in a back hug with him.

“basically, a few years ago, y/n was a trainee at yg with us. we were supposed to debut at similar times, but something happened, which we still need an explanation for. but regardless, she left the company and stopped talking to us for three years, five months and 2 days.” i laughed when asahi mentioned that he had been counting how many days it’s been since i talked to them. i smiled at him then looked back at her to see her reaction. still shocked.

“when we realized after the fifth month that she wouldn’t get back to us, we gave up on her. it was painful for every single one of us but the point is, she’s back.” he continued talking with his robot voice, which made me think hard about what he actually said. i didn’t realize how much i hurt them until i did.

“you forgot something sahi.” jeongwoo widened his eyes putting his hands out to the sides. i laughed whispering to asahi that i would talk about jeongwoo. he was the best part of the story no?

“jeongwoo and i, were the bestest of friends when i left, and the fact is that i always had a really big crush on him but of course, we all knew that he liked some other girl so i never did anything about it. i wanted to, but it was never the right time. when i left, junghwan did it for me but i never gave jeongwoo a chance to anwser me because i left before i even had the chance to talk to him. i always thought that i would be able to debut on the same day as treasure and that would be the day i told jeongwoo but i never got the chance. jeongwoo, i guess i'm confessing to you now.” i smiled over in jeongwoo's direction and asahi let go of me, to which i walked over to jeongwoo. i've been waiting for this moment my entire life so help me god if i mess this up. he smiled nervously at me while i thought of all the ways that i could do this. of course i was nervous.

“jeongwoo, i’ve liked you ever since that day the two of us did that dance, i never thought i could love someone more than i love you. i know this is something that i should have said earlier but i-”

“let me talk. i love you so goddamn much that it hurt when you left. i seriously thought that i would never see you again, and when i saw you dancing in all those workshop videos, it made me happy that you were still dancing. i don’t think you really realize how amazing your dancing is. i’m so happy you’re back. i missed you so much my love.” he pulled me close to him before pressing his lips to mine.

“about time.” junkyu rolled his eyes scoffing while glaring at us. we pulled away from each other to smile then changed out look to glare at junkyu. he shrugged laughing giving us a ‘am i wrong’ look. jihoon pushed him then scoffed at him,

“kim junkyu, did you really have to ruin the moment?”

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marrys-dream-world · 3 years

Text

if we’re bound to be something, why not together? (chapter 12)

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Notes: I posted on AO3 yesterday and forgot to post here sooo... I was having a huge writer's block with this fic and I'm still not satisfied with this chapter, but I also don't think it's gonna get any better. Hope you guys enjoy it anyway. Day 12 (what a joke by this point saldkqçkwdqpo) Blush. The beginning of the chapter is a bit off topic but I love it so pls bear with me. Have another one of my Emilie hot takes ig.

Adrien Agreste was a man of science.

It was, perhaps, his mother’s fault. His father was clearly the unholy mix of a man of the arts and a businessman, combining the worst of both worlds, if Nino was to be believed. Adrien let out a soft protest at that, but couldn’t really disagree. His father was all cold businessman and artist with a vision (Plagg often asked what vision it could be if he went dressed around like that and allowed Adrien to wear orange shoes, however, kwamis weren’t allowed fashion opinions so he didn’t pay attention to that). His mother was a completely different story.

Many people thought Emilie Agreste was an artist, through and through. After all, even with her outstanding beauty and ridiculous wealth, she worked in indie films and plays that managed to catch her fancy, managing her time between productions that made waves across France and small movies produced by a friend that had few copies to spare. Adrien knew better. His mother was also a gifted scholar, she loved studying things and figuring them out. He had asked her, when he was young, why she traveled so much and put so many acting jobs aside, and she had said acting was a hobby, learning was her life.

Like mother, like son then. Being an impressionable young child with only one friend and copious amounts of free time in his hands, Adrien tried to mirror the behaviour of the person he admired the most: his mother. He would join her in her study, very unlike father’s, which was a little messy and always warm and welcoming and he was always allowed in before she got sick and everyone stopped caring about him. He would sit beside her in the little desk she commissioned just for him and study basic science, devouring book after book

and falling in love with the way the world just worked.

“I’m gonna be a scientist when I grow up!” He said once at the dinner table. His mother smiled indulgently, but his father wasn’t as kind.

“Don’t be foolish, Adrien.” He admonished. “You won’t waste your time with such things, you’ll work with me as a model. We can’t let your perfect looks go to waste.”

His mother didn’t say anything to defend him, she never did. However, she winked at him as his father’s eyes left him. He straightened up then, that little gesture never failing to make him feel like they both knew something his father didn’t. These days, Adrien feels like maybe he hadn’t know anything at all.

Anyway, no matter how much his father tried to discourage him, Adrien Agreste was still a man of science and that meant experiments! He would usually not try out a behavioural experiment, but it was, as a lot of good stuff in his life was, Nino’s fault. Both had been discussing an art project with Alya and Marinette...

"This is really good, Marinette." He said sincerely, leafing through her and Alya's booklet.

Marinette seemed to shrink, blushing a little and smiling awkwardly, a sharp contrast to Alya, who only puffed up.

"I know, right?" Alya grinned, slipping her arm over Marinette's shoulder.

"I-it's nothing, really. Just a school project hehe." Marinette, taking the book back as Adrien offered.

"Everyone did theirs, but yours is a standout." Adrien said, smiling softly. Her work was amazing and he would say it as many times as it would take for her to believe it.

Marinette turned beet red at that, stammering something incomprehensible and dashing out of the classroom's door. Alya cracked out a laugh, quickly following after her. He watched them confusedly, scratching the back of his neck.

"Dude, you gotta stop doing that." Nino said, sighing.

Adrien raised an eyebrow. "Doing what?"

"Being all earnest and stuff." Nino answered, clasping his hands together and widening his eyes in a mockery of his best friend. "Oh, Marinette, you're so talented! You're so smart! You're so-"

"I don't talk like that." Adrien pouted. He didn't, did he?

"Yeah, you do." His friend snorted. "It drives the girls wild, even the ones that don't have a crush on you."

"You say that like a lot of girls have a crush on me." He rolled his eyes, other than his fans, the only ones who had a crush on him were Chloe and, the jury was still out on that one, Lila.

Nino gulped. "I mean, yeah, because of your fans and all! Not Marinette, she doesn't have a crush on you at all! She doesn't like you, even. She barely likes you as a friend!"

His heart fell. "Marinette barely likes me as a friend?"

"No! That's not what I meant!" Nino groaned. "Marinette does like you as a friend, okay, dude? I just word-vomited for no reason. Just don't go around being all you like that on her, she'll blush so hard she'll explode."

“Nino, you’re exaggerating.” Adrien had said, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, you say that now, but try it with any girl and see how they react.” Nino answered, mockingly rolling his eyes back.

He had shrugged at the time, but the question stayed in the back of his mind. Adrien was aware that he was good-looking, it was maybe the only thing his hard-to-please father ever complimented him on, but to make even girls that weren’t attracted to him blush? It seemed very far off. However, he knew his mind wasn’t going to let it go anytime soon. Adrien had a bad habit of not letting things go, Plagg said. So it looks like conducting an experiment was on the table and there was only one girl he would be comfortable trying it out with.

"Thanks, Marinette." Adrien said as he picked up a macaron from the box she brought to share with the class.

She flushed slightly, nothing so out of the usual that it would prove Nino's theory. "Y-you're welcome, Adrien."

"Did you help your dad make them?"

"Oh, I made them myself, I had some time to go to the kitchen lately." She said, eyes lighting up. "I missed it."

"It tastes great, Marinette." He said, making sure to smile and soften his gaze a little. It was actually hard to not do that around his friend, after all. "You're really talented."

Her face went fire truck red in a matter of seconds, mouth falling open and eyes going a little glazed over. Nothing out of the usual, but that was the thing: Marinette was always like that around him. Whenever he talked to her, a pretty blush would fill her cheeks and her blue eyes would go wide. Was he really so powerful that being earnest was enough to make a girl that only saw him strictly platonically blush like that?

“It’s our raw magnetism, kid.” Plagg told him solemnly when Adrien explained his theory. “Nothing we can do about it, girls better watch out.”

They spared a minute of silence for all the girls struck by their lady killer charms.

“Hey, Plagg, when you say all girls…” His lady’s adorable face flashed in his mind.

“Yeah, no, kid, dream on.”

However, it must be said again: Adrien Agreste is a man of science and he would never fail to experiment on a hypothesis.

Their next patrol was quiet, jumping through the rooftops and climbing down to comfort civilians separately. He could feel Ladybug’s eyes boring into his back at every confused glance she threw his way. The silence unsettled her, he knew that, but as much as he wanted to reassure her, he also had to create the perfect setting for his experiment.

“A bit quiet today, weren’t you, Chaton?” His lady asked when they finally settled down, nonchalant tone costrating with her twitching fingers.

“Oh, I was just struck speechless.” He said, voice purposefully serious as to not arouse suspicion.

“By what?” Ladybug frowned.

“By you.” He smiled and she started to roll her eyes when he continued. “You’re really kind, my lady.”

She blinked owlishly. “What?”

“Every time I turn my back to you on patrol, when I look back you’re talking to someone. Comforting that little girl whose ice cream fell, getting that kite stuck in a tree. It’s not even just today, you always do that. I’ve never met anyone who does it as effortlessly as you do.”

The words flew easily from his tongue. Complimenting Ladybug was often easier than not.

“You’re really kind, Ladybug.” He repeated, only to see her face darken until her cheeks settled into a rosy pink.

She opened her mouth as if to say something, but closed it again when she noticed it was hanging open. Her blue eyes went wide and shiny. It was the prettiest sight he had ever seen.

Maybe being a man of science has its perks sometimes.

#ladynoir #ladybug #chat noir #ml fic #my stuff #if we're bound to be something why not together #miraculous ladybug

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duhragonball · 3 years

Text

Hellsing Liveblog Ch. 35-40

This is the one-part “Xanado”, and the five-part “Final Fantasy”.

So last time, we saw a Millennium team led by Rip Van Winkle take control of a British aircraft carrier, which forced Hellsing to send Alucard to deal with the situation. He accomplished his mission, but now he’s stuck on the boat by himself, because vampires can’t cross running water. I suppose Hellsing would have arranged a second aircraft to pick him up, but they’ve got bigger problems on their hands. Just as Alucard finishes off Winkle, reports come in of communication breakdowns all over Great Britain. Military, intelligence, police, all out of reach. Integra recognizes this as Millennium’s next move. By taking out the communications networks, they ensure a clear shot for their invasion force to move in. But how did they pull this off?

Simple, they did it the same way they arranged all those vampire attacks during the summer, and the Valentine assault on Hellsing Manor, and the Brazillian Police raid on Alucard’s hotel suite, and Lt. Winkle’s takeover of the H.M.S Eagle. They convinced a bunch of Brits to betray their country in exchange for being turned into vampires. The only real surprise here is the sheer breadth of treachery this time around, as Millennium must have created dozens of sleeper agents throughout the country, each tasked with hijacking or sabotaging key defense systems. And Vice-Admiral Penwood’s command is no exception. Those a-holes who gave Integra a hard time earlier? Turns out they were in the tank for Millennium all along, and now that the invasion force has arrived, they’ve revealed their true colors. At first, they’re pretty thrilled to have captured Integra Hellsing herself, but she calmly informs them that they’re minor league vampires at best, and they’ve foolishly revealed themselves in the presence of expert vampire hunters.

And Walter calmly slices them all up with his magic wire powers. Cool.

But that’s not going to stop the one thousand vampire soldiers currently heading into British airspace. I think the most striking visual in this part of the story are the expressions of sheer excitement on these guys’ faces. They’re just so thrilled for what’s about to happen, and when you consider how long they’ve waited, it only makes sense. It’s almost infectious, until you recall just what it is they’ve come here to do.

Meanwhile, Alexander Anderson watches the Millennium blimps roll in. Oh, right, I forgot about him. Back in chapter 25 he was still in Brazil, trying to locate Millennium’s HQ, but all he found were human agents trying to stop him, which he found rather insulting. Then Maxwell contacted him to explain what he learned from the summit with Hellsing, and he ordered Maxwell to come to London in preparation for a great crusade. But unlike the Crusads of old, their enemy is not Allah, but Mars, since Millennium is so devoted to war. Anyway, Anderson’s here and ready to rock.

Meanwhile, the people of London finally spot these blimps rolling in, and it’s pretty horrifying stuff. We’ve already seen the carnage that can be wrought by a few vampires, and now it’s a thousand vampires, and they’re all Nazi soldiers to boot. The sense of dread here is just palpable.

Aboard the flagship (flagblimp?) the Major starts giving his men their orders, and they even have a stupid invasion handbook for the occasion. Warrant Officer Schrodinger lost his and has to share with the Captain. I suppose this is intended to alleviate the tension, except, no, it really doesn’t. These guys are all horrible monsters in every sense of the word, and they’re about to do awful, unspeakable things. Schrodinger’s comic relief moments only make it worse.

The Major gives an extra-long speech for the occasion, basically outlining all the buildings and people in London that he wants his men to destroy (tl;dr: “all of them”). He then assigns Lt. Zorin Blitz to take one of the blimps with a contingent of men and head for the Hellsing mansion on the outskirts of town. She figures that’ll be an easy gig, since Alucard is away, but the Major warns her not to underestimate Integra Hellsing or Seras Victoria. He doesn’t exactly explain his concerns about Seras, but the mere fact that she’s Alucard’s servant is probably reason enough to be mindful, and Integra is Alucard’s master, and she comes from a long line of vampire hunters, so the Major considers them both to be archenemies on the same level as Al himself, despite their inexperience.

So the Major explicitly orders Zorin to go to the mansion but not to attack. Her task is to observe an wait for the Major’s order. This will be important later.

Then the Major orders a bunch of V-1 and V-2 rockets launched at London. I mean, geez, were the hundreds of vampire soldiers not enough? Did he think he needed to soften the city up first?

Then the troops jump out of the blimp to begin their assault. They look like they’re parachuting down, but I don’t think any of them are wearing parachutes, since they shouldn’t need them. It’s almost pathetic the way they talk to each other with all of this professional military talk and congratulating each other on a successful landing. London is virtually defenseless and this is a slaughter, not a battle, but they’ve been psyched up for this for 55 years.

Back at Penwood’s base, Integra warns him to flee before the main invasion force arrives, but Penwood insists on remaining at his post. He confesses that he’s completely incompetent, and he only has this position because of his inherited title, but he refuses to abandon his duty, since that’s the only honorable thing he can do. Integra leaves him a gun with silver bullets and wishes him well as she heads for her own duty. Penwood orders his men to evacuate, but they refuse, since Penwood can’t actually operate any of the equipment here.

So now we get an extended sequence of Milennium marching through London, basically sacking the city and slaughtering anyone they meet. This is accompanied by the lyrics to “Akuma Stocking” which I think was used in the anime adaptation as well. There’s a lot of gory scenes here, but the three main visuals that stuck with me in the anime are these:

First, this motherfucker eating a baby.

Second, all the Londinian civilians they bite end up rising up and transforming into ghouls, who then join in the slaughter. It’s easy to forget about ghouls at this point, but Millennium never forgot. Their artificial vampires can’t turn virgins into new vampires, and I think that may be by design. They were counting on their victims rising up to compound the horror.

Third, just a lot of bayonet-usage going on here. You’d think they’d be content to bite and shoot people, but these guys seem to enjoy hoisting up their prey to show them off. It’s a horrific nightmare and there’s no end in sight.

Integra and Walter speed home as fast as they can, but they stop to take out a Millennium soldier in a shootout with London police. She can’t save the cops, but she does avenge them.

Back at the Naval base, Penwood sends out a final transmission as he expects the enemy to enter his post at any moment. His men are all dead, with the last one shooting himself to avoid becoming a ghoul. He tells anyone who can hear him to resist and do their duty. Then he recalls his first meeting with the young Sir Integra. Back then, he found it ridiculous that a 12 year old should be in charge of Hellsing, but she quickly puts him in his place, and established that she would be asking him for favors from then on.

But Penwood won’t be granting any favors to the Kraut bastards who storm his post. Instead he sets off the explosives they set up earlier and I guess they all die together. I wouldn’t have thought an explosion would kill these vampires, but they are a lot less formidable than Dandyman or the Valentines. Luke couldn’t regenerate his foot, for example.

When Integra shot that one vampire, she gave away her position, and now Millennium is on her trail. Just when it seems they have a clear shot at escape, someone blocks their path, and Walter tells Integra to take the wheel and find another route. He’s going to stay behind to fight this guy, but he doesn’t think he can hold him off for long.

Integra does as he asks, but orders him to return alive “at all costs.” Hmm.

Walter uses his wire power, but it turns out this is the Captain, and he’s apparently powerful enough to foil his attack. Walter recognizes him, presumably from when he and Alucard fought the proto-Millennium in the 1940s.

And then the Major flies along in his blimp and confirms it.

Meanwhile, Integra gives the Last Battalion a merry chase, but eventually she crashes the car and seems to be cornered. One asshole tries to get closer to finish her off, but she decapitates him with her sword.

His comrades accuse her of being a “sore loser” and tell her to give up, but she mocks them all for being cowards who surrendered their humanity. She’s hardcore, she’s hardcore.

But before she can fight all these vampires alone, somebody comes along and throws a bunch of blessed bayonets at them. These did a number on Alucard and Seras, but they didn’t cause any lasting harm. Seras was even able to pull them out without too much trouble. But this shithead just disintigrates on the spot. Remember, the Last Battalion’s main advantage is their number. Individually, they’re not terribly impressive, at least as vampires go.

But yeah, it’s Alexander Anderson, along with his two sidekicks, Heinkel Wolfe and Yumiko Takagi, the stars of Kouta Hirano’s earlier manga, “Cross-Fire”. We’ve seen Heinkel in Hellsing before, but I think this is Yumie’s debut here. They chastise Anderson for interfering, since they were only sent to observe, but Anderson is too fired up by Integra’s fighting spirit, and he wants to kill some vampires, dammit.

Turns out there’s quite a few of these Iscariot guys here, maybe all of them, but Anderson starts doing a whole routine with them, as they chant all this stuff about how they’re assassins in the tradition of Judas, the disciple who betrayed Christ. I’m not sure I get much of this, but it’s nice that Hirano put some thought into Section XIII as the super-secret death squad of this fantasy version of the Vatican.

And that’s all we have for now.

#2021 hellsingliveblog #hellsing #sir integra hellsing #alexander anderson #walter c dornez #seras victoria #sir shelby penwood #the major #the doctor #warrant officer shrodinger #the captain #zorin blitz #heinkel wolfe #yumiko takagi

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jungshookz · 4 years

Note

I would love a uni!yoongi & y/n drabble💓💜

🌿pairing; min yoongi x reader

🌿genre; uni!yoongi, university!au, fluffy fluffy fluff!!!!!!! uni!yoongi owns my heart and my whole ASS

🌿wordcount; 2.8k

🌿what to expect; “and another fun fact! the mistletoe plant actually contains toxic amines, and eating its berries can cause vomiting and stomach pain.”

🌿note; outraGEOUS that a mistletoe emoji has yet to exist!!!! unfortunately i wasn’t able to do a 12 drabbles of christmas this year due to finals but i hope this drabble makes up for it :-) if i’m a little rusty it’s only because this is the first drabble i’ve written in a while,..,,. hopefully i’ll have another drabble up before christmas!!! happy reading :^)

»»————-　✼　————-««

if yoongi had a dollar for every time he wanted to scream at you for being denser than a block of tofu he would most definitely be a billionaire

he’s had this thought time and time again but he really doesn’t understand how someone so smart can be so dumb at the same time

he could be holding up a flashing neon sign pointing to him that said ‘i 100% like you and am giving you the green light to ask me out so all you have to do is ask!’ and you would still be like .,.,.y’all hear sumn?

anyways he doesn’t have time to think about when you’re finally going to make a move because it’s that time of the semester ladies and gents

yep

it’s finals season

now, traditionally, the way yoongi handles finals season is that he kind of just goes with the flow

as in he goes to the library and studies for two hours and decides that that’s enough time and dedication he’s putting into a particular class so he pretty much deserves the rest of the day off

and this technique has worked ever since his first year in uni so he’s stuck with it ever since

as long as he doesn’t flunk out of anything he’s fine!!!

but since getting to know you yoongi has adopted new techniques into his studying routine that doesn’t just include skimming over poorly taken notes from class for 5 minutes and then scrolling through instagram for 45 minutes and then taking a 2 hour nap

no no

now he has highlighted notes

now he has insanely detailed google docs

now he has flash cards

and not just flash cards

colour coordinated flash cards

crazy, isn’t it???

this is probably your guys’ fifth study session together and yoongi doesn’t want to toot his own horn or anything but he thinks he’s going to absolutely nail this chemistry final

he can tell anyone about the main types of chemical reactions without blinking

that’s how confident he is about his knowledge

and he knoWs it’s all because of you which most certainly doesn’t help him suppress his attraction towards you

how can he noT be attracted to the person who’s bumping up his GPA??

but yes

yoongi is confident and he feels like he doesn’t need to go over what synthesis reactions are for the tenth time in a row

(also he forget a stack of flash cards at home that u reminded him three times to bring with him today to which he responded with ‘i’m NOT going to forget them just relax’ and he’s hoping u forgot about them because you don’t play around when it comes to flash cards)

he wants this study session to be a little more lax

a little more chill

a little less conversation and a little more ACTION (but not in,.,. not in a pervy way or anything)

yoongi decided to bring a little special something just to make things a little more interesting aND to celebrate the holidays!!

he’s being festive!!

he even taped strips of jingle bells to the edges of his skateboard :-)

“okay, hydrogen bonds.” you flip your notebook onto its front before whipping around and letting out a breath “hydrogen forms hydrogen bonds with three elements. hydrogen is fun. hydrogen is fOn. hydrogen forms hydrogen bonds with fluorine, oxygen, and nitrogen.”

…yeah that sounds right

you turn back around and flip over your notebook before quickly searching for your notes

yes!!!! you got it!!!! hydrogen is FON!!!! hyDRoGEN iS FON!!!!!

“up top, y/l/n!” you grin widely before giving yourself a high five

niCE

“just when i thought you couldn’t get any weirder.” you jump three feet into the air when you hear yoongi speak up and you let out a breath before placing a hand on your chest

“yoongi!” you clear your throat and lean back against the table a little bit

you’re just going to play it off as if you didn’t just tell yourself to give yourself a high five

“what, uh, what took you so long?”

yoongi raises a brow before checking the time on his phone “i’m three minutes early.”

you turn back a little to look at the time on your laptop

huh

would you look at that

yoongi is early

and of course you’re here before scheduled because of who you are as a person

“…well, what are you doing just standing there? let’s get to work!!” you clap your hands together before looking at yoongi expectantly and gesturing for him to take a seat

“just so that you’re aware, i’m pretty sure i know more about the different types of chemical reactions than you.”

you raise a brow before crossing your arms

that is certainly a vEry bold statement because you could talk about the different types of chemical reaction for hours and hours on end

“oh, really?” you scoff playfully as you turn to wipe down the whiteboard

you’ve been tutoring yoongi for the past couple of weeks without expecting anything in return

honestly it’s just fun to ramble on and on about something that you’re confident about aNd it’s fun to see the panic in his eyes when you ask him a question about what you just talked about

and!!!! teaching someone else about the thing that you have to review yourself is actually a pretty effective studying strategy

you tried the practice test the other night and you got 98% so it’s safe to say you’re going to make this final exam your biTCH-

“yep.” yoongi sighs and leans back against his chair “in fact, i bet you that i’ll get every single one of your questions right this session.”

“what happens if you don’t?”

“if i get even one question wrong, i will… play one of your dumb studying games.”

your eyes widen in excitement

“charades for chemists??” (an exciting upgrade from the original version of charades)

((u have to try to act out a reaction))

((it’s a lot more exciting than it sounds))

“but if i get every single one of your questions right, you’ll have to play one of my games.”

“…what kind of game?”

“you’ll just have to find out, won’t you?” yoongi smiles sweetly “it’s nothing like your dumb charades game, i can tell you that.”

you narrow your eyes suspiciously and yoongi shrugs

there’s no way he’d be able to get all of your questions right

obviously it’d be great if he got all of them right because that means these tutoring sessions are actually working but then again it’s yoongi

yoongi who uses pipettes to squeeze tiny spurts of air in your face just because ‘it’s fun!!’

yoongi who has the balls to juggle glass beakers in the middle of a lab in front of the professor

it’s yoongi

of course the idiotic things he does in class doesn’t exactly correlate to his intelligence

he actually did pretty well on the last lab report

“you have three seconds to decide if you wanna do this or not otherwise the offer’s off the table.” yoongi waves a hand in front of your face and you straighten up a little before sticking your hand out for him to shake

“alright, min yoongi. game on.”

the corner of yoongi’s mouth twitches in a devilish smile

honey, you’ve got a big storm coming.

you flip your notebook open to the page where you have a bunch of practice questions written down and you skim the list

alright

you’ll throw yoongi a bone

“we’ll start off easy. what’s the difference between exothermic and endothermic reaction-“

“endothermic takes in energy - for example, ice melting - and exothermic gives off heat - for example, lighting a match.” yoongi answers without blinking

…

okay

that answer was word for word what you have written down in your notes

you should probably reconsider the whole throwing a bone thing

if anything u should probably take a couple bones away from yoongi

your competitive streak immediately kicks in once you realise the score board is 1-0 and you’re on the 0 end

“what does synthesis gas consist of?” you raise a brow

“before i answer that - you forgot to add a tally under my name.” yoongi points to the whiteboard and you kiss your teeth before whipping around and begrudgingly drawing a tally on the scoreboard “good girl.”

(you’ll never admit to him that hearing him call you that made your stomach do a little flip)

“answer the question.”

“synthesis gas is a fuel gas mixture consisting of hydrogen, carbon monoxide, and carbon dioxide. it intermediates in creating synthetic natural gas and for producing ammonia or methanol.”

.,,.,.and that’s 2-0 to yoongi

what in the hELL is going on

u know what

it’s fine!

it’s fine

maybe he’s just having a lucky day

all he has to do is screw up once

“-due to the conjugation double bond character in alkyl halide.” the fact that yoongi’s inspecting his nails as he answers your final question is oddly vERy irritating

you can’t believe it

yoongi got all 10 of your veRy tricky questions right

you should be proud because it’s because of you that he knows that he’s talking about but at the same time you didn’t think you were doing thAt great of a job at teaching him!!!!

but you’re looking at the scoreboard and it’s 10-0

there are 0 tallies under your name!!! ZERO!!! under youR NAME!!!

and now you have to play yOOngi’s dumb game instead of charades for chemists

if anything it’s his loss

“i told you you have to close your eyes to play my game.” yoongi reaches over to shut your notebook after he catches you glancing at it (to make sure he actually got the answers right and you didn’t misread anything) for the fifth time in two minutes

you have to accept defeat whether you like it or not

you let out a sigh before crossing your arms and shutting your eyes “what are the rules of this game? how does one win?”

“i’m going to show you something-“ you hear yoongi unzip his backpack “and you have to identify what it is and tell me what its purpose is within 30 seconds.”

huh

sounds easy enough

“so i win just by doing that?” your brows furrow and you resist the urge to open your eyes

“i guess you could say that.” you hear yoongi’s footsteps against the carpet and you freeze when you feel him standing right in front of you

“alright, open your eyes.” you immediately open them and-

“so, tell me, y/n-” yoongi lets out a sigh before glancing up at the mistletoe that he’s holding up in between the two of you “what do we have here?”

you swallow thickly and keep your eyes glued on the mistletoe

u know what that is

and u know what its purpose is

you could easily win this game right here and now so u don’t know what’s stopping you

you can feel yoongi staring at you and you know that if you make eye contact with him right now you will definitely combuST into flames

“that’s, um, well, i’m not a, uh, i’m not a botanist or anything, but that is a… that’s mistletoe.” you clear your throat “that is… mistletoe.”

“uh-huh. and, remind me again - isn’t mistletoe particularly special this time of the year?” yoongi hums and takes a step closer to you

you jump a little when you feel the bottom of the whiteboard dig into the small of your back

the little metal tray holding the whiteboard markers clatters a marker plops to the ground but you’ll deal with that later

because now it’s time to do what you do best

D E F L E C T

“mistletoe are actually hemiparasitic plants in which they kinda just suck water and nutrients from their host tress. did you know that?”

yoongi resists the urge to roll his eyes

he knows exactly what you’re doing (out of nervous habit) but for your sake he’ll play along

“oh yeah?”

“yep. and another fun fact! the mistletoe plant actually contains toxic amines, and eating its berries can cause vomiting and stomach pain.”

“…didn’t you say you weren’t a botanist-”

“-but if we’re talking about its relevance to the christmas holidays, then… well, traditionally, people, um, people… kiss underneath them.” you finish quietly and your eyes instinctively flicker down to yoongi’s pouty lips

“i like you a lot, y/n.” yoongi breathes out and you feel your heart hiccup

your cheeks flush and you feel the heat rushing up to your ears

o god

a couple seconds of silence goes by and you wonder if yoongi can hear your heart pounding in your chest

“if you don’t feel the same way, i-“

“i like you too.” you murmur shyly and yoongi lets out what sounds like a breath of relief

before he gets the chance to roAST you for taking so long to finally admit it to him, you’re pushing your lips against his in a gentle kiss with your hand pressed against his cheek

it takes yoongi a second to register that you initiated a kiss with him but once his brain catches up to his body, he starts kissing you back

a smile tugs at his mouth when you take a step closer to him and he automatically loops an arm around your waist before carelessly tossing the mistletoe aside

yoongi tilts his head as he deepens the kiss and the quiet ‘fuck’ he lets out when you nip at his bottom lip almost immediately makes you lightheaded

it’s when you’re reminded that literally anyone passing by the room would be able to see you through the glass door that you drag yourself away (reluctantly) and yoongi unintentionally lets out a whine

“so did i win?” your cheeks are still rosy and your heart is still racing but you’re trying to play it off as if you’re totally cool about kissing yoongi and that you’re totally cool about the mutual attraction between the two of you but that fact that you’re kinda bouncing on the balls of your feet like an excited child is probably not helping your case

and yoongi’s smiling so widely his cheeks are starting to hurt but it’s totally worth it

:-) !!!!

“you won but i’m still marking you down for killing the mood by talking about vomiting and stomach pain.”

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

drabble tag

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promethes · 3 years

Text

dumping the horrendous unconventional short story I wrote for my midterm under the cut to get it off my mind bc I do not like it.

ENTRY 1

I think I will make my life’s motif a bird. It shouldn’t be too hard. They’re everywhere and pop out at the most opportune moments. I’ll find a way to tie them in.

ENTRY 2

Stood in line for way too long at the cafe. Can you believe the girl in front of me didn’t even look up to plan her order until she was physically at the front of the line? I knew what I wanted to order before I even stepped foot into the place. They need to change that. I’m on the lookout for some kind of online suggestion box to submit to since they decided to forgo an in-house one for some God forsaken reason. There’s not a lick of common sense in anyone these days. Saw a robin on my way out and flicked it a sesame seed from my bagel.

ENTRY 3

Would you listen to this garbage? They’re planning on tearing down my favorite bowling alley. “Didn’t pass inspection” my ass. It’s an important cultural landmark of our city and I’m marching down to the mayor to set him straight. I can’t stage important life moments around the cardinal themed bowling alley if there is no bowling alley to have a cardinal theme!

ENTRY 4

Mom’s in the hospital. Driving over now, she said it has something to do with her cholesterol. It either spiked or dropped real low, but I can’t be sure. Either way, she’s in the hospital. I don’t know why she chose the one that’s so far away though. The vending machines in the other one have way better stock.

ENTRY 5

Forgot to say. I didn’t run over any birds on the way there.

ENTRY 6

I don’t think I’m spiraling yet but I’m close to it. Mom’s fine, she’s just staying overnight in case anything acts up again. I, on the other hand, am NOT. Car won’t start and I’ve been sitting here in the parking lot for almost four hours now. Embarrassed beyond belief. A weird old man with a huge shiny truck offered to help and he’s been good on his word lending me his car to jump-start mine, but his bumper stickers make me nervous. His truck has custom lettering too. I’m a big guy, so not too worried, but a little concerned.

Anyway, it didn’t work and I’m calling a tow truck now. I tried to thank the guy and offered to buy him coffee, but he just said “No way, Jose” which was weird. He smacked the top of my car before he left and said I need to “dress this little lady up.” Maybe I’ll get a sparrow bumper sticker online. Everything’s online these days.

ENTRY 7

Starting to rethink the bird motif thing. Not much goes on in my life anyway, and there’s only so much material I can get out of waking up early to chirping. Maybe I should aim lower. I could choose a color instead. Red would be a cop-out, it’s too obvious. Blood! I need something that’s at least a little challenging. We’ll see. I’ll sleep on it.

ENTRY 8

GREAT NEWS! Sister got a BIRD. A real-life living breathing chirping flying bird. It’s a sign and I’m not going to ignore it. My life’s motif is a bird and it’s not going to be one of those unbearably hidden motifs from English class required readings either.

(Although I did like some of them. That spoon in Middlesex…… I want my bird to be his spoon. To take up space in an almost eerie way. I’ll find a way to make it work.)

ENTRY 9

Laying the groundwork. These things don’t come easy, so I’m sowing the seeds (birds do that, right?) Told everyone at work that my great great great grandfather’s name was Starling. Drilled up a lot of curious questions and I even got to know some of the people I always just miss talking to. They were all VERY interested. Tomorrow I’ll bring in a picture of an actual starling. I don’t think Andrew quite knows that it’s a kind of bird.

ENTRY 10

Don’t remember the name my sister chose and I couldn’t remember if I tried even if I squeezed my eyes shut before blinking really fast like I usually do because this bird (Polly I’m going to call it Polly because an annoying bird deserves an annoying name) is so incessantly annoyingly unbearably loud. I can’t believe this thing is my sign.

My sign is chirping me into the basement and into a frenzy. At least I have my old sleeping bag handy until I can figure out how to shut it up. Why must my motif be so unbearably annoying?

ENTRY 11

Update on the car: starter wires snapped. Haven’t seen any birds around lately (except for a crow but I hate crows and I won’t be counting them) so I was hopeful and asked the mechanic if there’s any chance a bird could’ve pecked at the wires until they got so worn down that they snapped in the hospital parking lot.

He looked at me like I was crazy. I know that was what the look meant because he said, “Are you f****ing crazy man? The wires are deep in your car under the hood.” (I’m censoring the language. I don’t want language taking away from my story. If this is to be read in a future child’s English class to teach a lesson about motifs, I can’t be including foul language.)

I’m not f***ing crazy but I am extremely ticked off. Does he not realize how little birds come out in the cold weather? I need whatever I can get.

I’ll just tell people a bird got stuck under the hood of my car. I’ll change this entry later. Mechanic man doesn’t deserve a spot in a child’s English class; he didn’t even have the decency to watch his language for them.

ENTRY 12

People at work are finally starting to catch on! Got called “bird guy” by Kathleen (Catherine? Kristy? Whatever.) when she saw my shirt. I knew it’d be a good move when I saw it on sale at Walmart. I’m thinking of making the cover of my book Hawaiian print, but I’ll tell my future publisher I’m not married to the idea. Can’t be too picky on my first book! I’ll leave that for the second.

ENTRY 13

I will enjoy my day today I will enjoy my day today I will enjoy my day. Sister needs to get control of Polly. I’ve moved down my whole mattress now. I will enjoy my day I will enjoy my day I will enjoy

ENTRY 14

Can’t believe I overlooked eagles and hawks. Of course sparrows and starlings weren’t doing the trick! Classic oversight, focusing too much on the mundane. I won’t be making that mistake. I blame it all on that incessant chirping. Mom says it’s not too bad but I’m fairly certain that cholesterol has gotten to her ears. She must be going deaf. She’s lucky she’s ill or else I’d be very extremely sore at her for making that face at me. I know it’s a bad face because it’s the same face that f***ing mechanic made and I don’t think he’s ever made a good face in his life so if my mom made that same face then I really don’t like that. She gets a pass for the cholesterol.

ENTRY 15

I feel amazing. Bought an eagle bumper sticker at a roadside gas station and after a few strategic snips, it’ll be ready to go on the car. I’m dressing this little lady up! The red, white, and blue has got to go first though. Decided a while ago not to let colors mess with my motif, and I’m not going to slip up on that again! Snip snip.

I’m considering this a debt paid. Dressed the little lady up. Two birds, one stone! I’m making that my new catchphrase.

ENTRY 16

Should I make this a love story? I’m thinking about making it a romance. Doves are right there, really just waiting for me to weave them in. On the other hand, I don’t think that’d work to create much of a conducive learning environment for the kids. I think I’ll stick to a Mark Twain type story instead.

Reread the beginning and don’t think it’s working. I’ll be cutting all that out. I spoke too much about mom’s cholesterol. Too many side characters and not enough focus. Where was I going with this again?

ENTRY 17

Writer’s block. It’s ok, I still had that major breakthrough with the hawk/eagle thought. Put in my two weeks to dedicate all my time. I’ve found a bird-watching site that I hope will bring me more peace than f***ing Polly.

ENTRY 18

These birds are really working to stay in my New York Times best-selling children’s novel. Knew this would be a challenge, but they really do never stop conversing. If only they could read, I’d write them a best-selling manual on the best ways to speak inwards rather than outwards. Chirp chirp chirp needs to turn into ______ ________ ________.

ENTRY 19

Sister’s going to be f***ing pissed but it was the only thing to do.

ENTRY 20

Honestly, it was just a bird! If it was really part of our family, you’d think that I’d know its name by now.

ENTRY 21

I said that Polly’s in a better place now, but set her off with the “Polly”. Maybe this was a mistake. She said I “begged” her to get the bird but she shouldn’t say that when she’s the one reacting like this.

ENTRY 22

Books should come with suggestion boxes. No more birds. Story’s six feet under just like Gladys. See, I can finally remember it now that I can hear myself think.

#eugh #og #emptying notes #essays

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scratchbandicoot · 4 years

Text

Based on this lovely lil thing

He swears on all the comedy shows he’s ever watched, this would be the exact moment where things would freeze frame, record scratch, and insert corny line, like, “Hi, I’m Steve, you’re probably wondering how i got here-“

And normally, in a situation like this one, it wouldn’t at all be the case. Baking is like, a seriously mundane thing a lot of people do. Mostly housewives, grandmas or kids with their parents but it just so happens that Steve is the one doing the baking right now- and it should have gone without a hitch. So, 20 minutes of digging into the cabinets of his mom’s cook books- he began. He wanted it to be good, not a cop out box of mix because making it from scratch makes it more special. And it’s a fucking cake; how hard could it really be?

Apparently super fucking hard actually. Because what should have been a completely mundane, simple task that takes like 40 minutes tops- Steve was left with this. Referring to the absolute disaster that is his kitchen. There’s like, 8 eggshells scattered all over the countertop- one somehow ending up on the floor and another on his knee. There is a spilling bag of sugar on its side creating a hectic little pile that leaks onto the stove top- (Thank god for his parents expensive ass glass-top stoves.) Somehow he managed to spill olive oil around the sink when the recipe doesn’t even call for it- and to top it all off there is flour covering every inch of the kitchen and himself. The apron he has on does absolutely nothing, the powder covering his pastel blue cashmere button up- and he’s sure he somehow managed to get flour on places where the sun don’t shine. He’s three hours 45 minutes deep at this point and he knows he’s literally about to cry. He can feel his eyes burning with frustration and a huge lump tightening his throat with the threat of unshed tears. How did he get to this point? Well, lets backtrack.

It’s Billy’s birthday tomorrow . Steve has always done something special on Billy’s birthdays- even though he is like, super weird about gifts and being given things. Seriously, last time Steve gave Billy just a dumb little birthday card with snoopy dancing, and text that read ‘a big-smiling, fun-having, great-feeling birthday’- his nose srunched up like he had to sneeze and he gave the most awkward thanks followed by a back pat that- felt so absolutely “hiya pal” that Steve cackled out loud to the point he was in tears. Billy just burned red and sputtered all irritated, “Stop fucking laughing, Harrington.” Guy just cannot handle shows of affection.

This though, was a little more special. A little more personal than a rinky-dink peanuts birthday card- because billy really loved confetti cake. It brought back memories of his mom; how they used to bake the cake together on his younger birthdays, and how much he really missed it. Nothing could really beat the warmth of those memories, or the fondness painting Billy’s face when he recalled them- but goddamit- steve was gonna try, was trying, his actual best. He even convinced Keith that he’d take his next Saturday shift if he let him off the hook today to do this. His nonna had baked with him when he was young-like, 6- so he figured he’d pick it back up. Which was so not the case here. It’s safe to say he is more than a little rusty. So rusty in fact, that his old bike that he got for his 12th birthday that sits in the garage decaying and untouched, had absolutely nothing on him right now.

The first try was peppy; with a shimmy of hips and a waving whisk to the song playing from the sound system in the living room, and Steve thought genuinely that he did it right. He might have, maybe, with the recipe, but the lump of coal that was pulled out of the oven indicated heavily to the opposite. The smoke in the kitchen made Steve cough and gag, having to open up all the windows along with the screen door. The second attempt was a different outcome. Terrible, but different. A cake with singed edges and a liquidy inside that stuck to the pan and got scraped out with an uncermonious plop into the garbage. Mush, really, something akin to the texture of apple sauce. The third attempt Steve really focused, he swears, but that just ended up with a cake that didnt even rise and he was back to square 1 before he knew it with a beautifully new sense of defeat.

So, before he had an actual mental break over a goddamn cake he knew 7 year olds could make better, he called up Ms. Henderson for help. The lady is practically a god when it comes to baking and he really does not know how she does it. Whips out cookies and tarts and cupcakes like it’s going out of style.

“Hmm...oh! Sweetie, I think it might be the cornstarch. It sinks to the bottom of the pan if you don’t add baking soda- did you add baking soda?”

Steve glances at the forgotten unopened box of baking soda leaned against the stoves backsplash. He slaps himself mentally.

“Um, no. No i did not do that.”

“Well then, that’s it! You simply forgot a key ingredient is all. Not a big deal in the slightest.” Ms. Henderson was always very sweet to steve. Maybe because Dustin had become a little brother to him, but she never ever made him feel dumb. Always assured him mistakes are simply human.

“Right, right, yeah. I’ll add that. Thank you Ms. Henderson.” Steve goes to run a hand through his hair but is met with the headband pulling Steve’s hair from his eyes.

“Its Claudia sweetie, you know that.” Steve could hear the smile in her voice. She makes him feel better.

She gave a few more tips, how just white sugar might dry out the cake when used too much and using brown sugar will make the cake’s texture fluffier. He thanks her and hangs up with a sigh. Back to work.

He follows each step meticulously, following Claudia’s directions to a T and slips it into the oven; prays to god that this will be the last time he tries this. He’s only got one egg left and the overly sweet assortment of smells is starting to make him nauseous. After 45 excruciating minutes, Steve huffs and pulls out the cake. It looks... actually it looks like a cake. He smiles crookedly- holding his breath as he slips the cake onto the tray. It comes out in one piece, albeit lopsided, Steve whoops. He finally fucking did it- the cake actually looks like a confetti cake- and Steve is just so fucking proud of it, already going in to make the frosting before theres a ring at the door.

He frowns, wiping the flour on his watch head. It’s midnight- 12:07 am. Jesus christ, he started this at 7 pm, he didn’t even realize-

He hurries up to the door trying to wipe off the flour and make himself semi presentable. The door swings open and it’s Billy. He’s holding a six pack of Natural Light and a smirk that warps into a surprised raise of his eyebrows at Steve’s current state. He’s sure he must like he just ran a drug cartel or something.

“Hi, pretty boy.” Billy says as he walks in, checking Steve up and down. “Whats uh, whats up with your threads? Look like you jumped head first into coke or got real personal with Frosty the Snowman”

Stve rolls his eyes. His breath catches when he sees Billy start walking to the kitchen. He runs and blocks Billy in the doorway.

“You can’t go in there.”

Billy frowns, “What, you actually got drugs in there or somethin’?”

“No- you just- you can’t go in there. Not allowed.”

“Cmon baby whatcha got in there?” Billy starts to nudge past him; never was good at waiting.

“Wait, no- Billy- don’t-“

Billy takes in the state of the kitchen with a confused look and low whistle before his eyes land on the unfrosted confetti cake sitting on the kitchen island in all it’s lopsided glory. He freezes.

Steve waddles up behind him; following his gaze as he chews on his lip.

“I’m sorry, didn’t have time to make the frosting. Wanted it to be a surprise.” Steve scratches the nape of his neck sheepishly.

Billy’s still just standing there, and for a moment Steve is afraid he overstepped. That he was hijacking a moment from Billy’s mom that was only okay to do if she did it. He tries to get a read on Billy from his side profile since Billy is only turned slightly towards him but he can’t. A few more seconds of Billy standing there- and what Steve hopes is stunned silence- before Billy quietly murmurs,

“You made me a confetti cake?”

Steve holds his breath after a strained little, “Yeah.” The unshed tears from earlier are threatening to fall again, “You said you loved confetti cake, and that it made you happy. Wanted to make you happy.”

Billy spins on his heel fast, catching Steve’s face in his hands and lips with his own. Steve’s heart bursts and jerks a little with the surprise. It’s a chaste thing, just a press of lips, before Billy pulls away.

“You’re so... you just...” Billy trailed off and it was, like, a huge thing for Steve in that moment. Billy? Speechless? Steve never thought he’d see the day. It makes his face heat but his heart full and he beams.

“I’m... what?” He draws out.

“Fuckin’- somethin’. You’re somethin’ else.” Billy tugs him in by the waist and uses the other hand to swipe at the flour on Steve’s cheek. He looks so goddamn fond it makes Steve’s heart rate skyrocket.

“Is it okay?”

Billy hums, “It’s so okay. So much better than okay.”

He presses sweet little kisses to Steve’s lips and Steve can’t stop smiling.

“Well,” he says between pecks, “I wanted to do something special.”

Billy hums again, kisses trailing pepper like to his cheeks, his forehead, his nose and now down his neck.

Steve fights down the urge to shiver as he wraps his arms around the other’s shoulders. But-then he feels a wetness at the crook of his neck and makes a soft concerned noise at the back off his throat. He tugs Billy gently off and is met with blue, glassy eyes. Billy was tearing up.

“Thank you.” Billy says wetly, gently, before hugging Steve tight. “God- i- thank you.”

Steve smiles sweetly, hands going into Billy’s hair. He doesn’t ask because he doesn’t need to. Knows that this is Billy being happy, knows that this isn’t bad, knows Billy. Loves Billy.

Steve pokes Billy’s sides- grins, “Happy birthday, baby.” And punctuates it with a kiss.

#my writes #harringrove #billy x steve #steve x billy #harringrove fic #drabble #stranger things #steve harrington #billy hargrove #ahhhh i wanted some soft n sweet fluff #thank you for this idea #scratch writes

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iamtaekooked · 4 years

Text

Vanilla Rules || Ch 15 (Pjm)

Genre: Enemies to Lovers! AU, badboy! au, college! au

Word count: 10.1k

Synopsis:

The hate saga between you and baddie of the town Park Jimin rests on two very simple rules: 1.) Hate each other for the rest of your lives and 2.)under no circumstances fall in love with each other. But what happens when the possibility of love threatens this dynamic?

A/N: This was a long long long time overdue! I hope you enjoy it! Also the “dont blame for making you fall” line isn’t a 100% original. I was inspired by something similar I had read like a decade ago in some YA novel and but couldn’t remember what it was so just made my own version of it. So credit to. that book and its author.

Ch 1 || Ch 2 || Ch 3 || Ch 4 || Ch 5 || Ch 6 || Ch 7|| Ch 8 || Ch 9 || Ch 10|| Ch 11 || Ch 12 || Ch 13 || Ch 14

The incessant tapping of the pencil, the ticking of the clock on the wall opposite to you, the flipping of pages, and the sound of typing around you was making your anxiety worse. Worse because Jimin was already doing enough to make you anxious by looking at you from across the table. You didn’t know if he knew you were aware of his eyes surveying your face. It wasn’t the fact that he was looking at you. It was the way he was examining you. Whoever said eyes are the window to the soul was right because his feelings were apparent in his eyes.

It was no secret anymore Jimin liked you. The evidence was all there: first he said it himself, second he got mad when Hoseok kissed you at the soccer game, and then he kissed you. Kissing would be an understatement. It was raw, primal energy that somehow rose from deep inside you, and even though the rational part of your brain was screaming for you to not do it, your body had already taken over.

You could still feel the feeling of his hands on your body. The way his hands were tangled in your hair. The way his skin felt soft, and firm underneath the pads of your fingers. You couldn’t forget how warm you felt, and surge of emotions that washed over you. You remembered how his breaths had fanned your face every time you pulled apart even for a nanosecond.That soft, unnerving sensation he made you feel was still settled into your stomach and etched so deep into your mind you wouldn’t be able to forget it for a long long time. Even as you sat in front of him, your lips still tingled gently with the same tickling feeling that you had felt the night you kissed at Elijah’s party.

You still remembered how he smelt that night: a little bit like beer and soft notes of musk and velvet from his cologne. You remembered his flushed cheeks, and intoxicated eyes which looked at you in a way that made you want to melt into a puddle of goo. He could snap his fingers and you would gladly will yourself out of existence. He tasted of beer and mint as your lips had melted together into kiss after kiss after kiss.

Had you not been interrupted that night you would have gone all the way with him because you had lost all control.

Jimin tapped the table using his knuckles which drew you out of your reverie. Suddenly your body felt really hot. You throat had dried like a piece of parchment and your lungs felt like they were on fire, as if you had just run a marathon.

You cleared your throat and blinked to push away all the thoughts. “What?” your voice came out unexpectedly breathy-- well that was expected but you didn’t think you were going to sound like you had just been shown stars behind your eyes.

Jimin’s eyes squinted as he cocked a sly brow. He licked his lips, eyes flickering to yours before he cleared his throat as well. “Were you thinking about that night?”

You hated how he placed such emphasis on that night. “No!” your eyes widened as you gawked at him. “No way” you coughed suddenly feeling air getting stuck in your throat.

“You’re completely red” he comments, settling back into his chair and leaning against it. Folding his arms across his chest that look was back in his eyes-- the one from that night-- like the world around you could crumble to dust and he wouldn’t blink an eye. He was looking at you in a way every woman in the world would want to be looked at-- as if you were the only thing that mattered and everything else was dust and nothing.

His gaze did not waver as he scrutinized you ; studied you with eyes roaming all across your face.

It took your breath away and you felt absolutely winded. “Why- why” you gulped hard. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Red is a good colour on you” he leaned in.

You shook your head. “Stop talking like that”

“Why? Does it make you nervous?” his lips stretched into a knowing smile, his teeth peeking from behind the little gap. He smiled like he just knew every thought, every feeling you were feeling. Like he could see deep down inside you and knew what makes you tick. Like he knew you in a way that was different from everyone else and he enjoyed it.

“No.” you lowered your eyes back to the book. “Besides, we’re supposed to be studying” you couldn’t look up at him. You couldn’t face him anymore knowing that it was futile. Everything was futile because in this moment, nothing mattered to you. Not the book in front of you, nor the people around you, nor the trees and roads, and mountains. The world couldn’t distract you from your feelings even if it tried.

“I don’t want to study” he answered. Suddenly, his face was blocking your view of the book as he had slid across the table. He was looking up at you, hand cupping his cheeks and a cheeky grin on his face. He was enjoying every single moment of it. You flinched back upon seeing him like that, your back hitting the chair.

“Dude!” you exhaled with a whisper, almost shouting.

“Still red” he announced and lifted himself off the table and settled in his chair, his spine resting against the back.

“You are delusional. I don’t like you” you slammed the textbook so loud people around you looked up from their work. “Sorry” you looked at them sheepishly and apologized with a small nod of the head. He managed to get you so wrapped up that you forgot you were in the library.

“I did not say anything about you liking me” he quirked an eyebrow with interest.

You did not have a comeback so you settled for the next response that came to your head. “Stop it”

Jimin let out a small laugh, and shook his head. “That’s very cute”

“Will you stop for fucks sake? Why are you acting this way” you frowned at him, aware of why he was acting that way but his behavior was so frustrating that you had to ask.

“Because…” he paused, as if for dramatic effect. “I li…” he paused again with the tiniest hint of a smirk at the corner of his lips. He let a few seconds pass before he closed his mouth. “Nothing” he lowered his head with a small shake and a soft chuckle.

“You-you..you” your cheeks grew hotter by the second. “Park Jimin you are the worst person ever” you stood up, grabbed your book and your backpack that was slung haphazardly across the back of the chair.

He did the same as he saw you and quickly gathered his belongings. While he was doing that you took the chance and walked away before he could join you. Because God knows it was the last thing you wanted.You had not even crossed the doors of the library when he fell into step beside you.

“Stop following me” you quipped, looking straight in front of you. Once more you could feel the beating of your heart in your ears as a rhythmic vibration which had become a common occurrence lately in Jimin’s presence.

“I am not following you y/n. I am right beside you, not behind you” he answered in an innocent tone, full well knowing your statement was not literal.

Abruptly stopping in the middle of the hallway, you turned to face him. “I’ll ask you once again. Why are you acting so weirdly?”

“Once again I’ll answer. It’s not weird”

“Ughhh” you sighed and looked heavenward. “Why are you so hell-bent on complicating everything? Why can’t you just let it go”

“Let what go?”

“I can’t let you burn me. I can’t allow you to… to make me feel as if I have no control over anything. So, stop complicating things” you replied curtly.

Jimin scoffed. “You’re actually putting this on me? Do you think I like any of this? I fucking hate it. So don’t tell me I am the one complicating things. Why don’t you grow a spine and face your feelings?”his relaxed demeanour morphing into a more tense manner. He couldn’t understand why you couldn’t see how much he was trying and willing to be someone he was terrified of being. And all because of you. Why couldn’t you understand how absolutely terrified he was. Why could you not see past his facade and know that simple fact.

“Yes! You are. You do things and you say things that.- ” you looked at him with an unflinching gaze and felt a wave of anger overcoming you. “It’s all because of you. We were fine weren’t we? Just the way we were was good. Why did you have to go and ruin things? Why do you have to make me feel as if-” you sighed in frustration because you couldn’t explain to him what he makes you feel.

Everything was so complicated. It was all so frustrating and Jimin acting like nothing was wrong, pissed you off even more. Everything was wrong. You had one unspoken rule in between you and now it was a remnant of the past. It unsettled and unnerved you.

Jimin’s jaw clenched. “Don’t look at me the way you do then. Don’t look at me as if I matter to you. Don’t look at me like I am the only person in the room that you care about. Don’t look me in the eyes for more than a second and then blame me for making you fall”

His words were followed by nothing but the chatter of people passing you by in the hall as both of you stared at each other. What could you possibly say to that? Because you did look at him as if he mattered. You did make the mistake ; not once, or twice. But you did it countless times without even realizing it. As much as you hated to admit it, he was right. He could never force your feelings even if he tried. You did it all on your own and now you can’t deal with it.

“W-what?” you gaped at him.

“You still can’t see past your own stubbornness can you?” he snapped, nostrils flaring, chest heaving with effort.

Your eyes widened and you gawked at him in shock, “You’re calling me self-centered?”

“You are! That’s all you are. From the beginning to now. Do you have any clue how hard it was for me to say what I told you? I mean for fucks sake I was prepared to hate you for the rest of my life. The minuscule possibility of anything other than that was not even a concern for me because I was never going to allow myself to feel anything else. But…” his chest heaved with effort and he swallowed hard.

“But, what?”

“But all you can think about is yourself y/n. We are nothing but fools for you! You let me kiss you and I thought it meant something” he gulped, trying to make the tightness in his throat go away.

“It-” you started

“Don’t fucking try to deny that you didn’t feel anything. But then you let Hoseok kiss you and didn’t even hesitate. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? What am I supposed to think? You’ve played both me and Hoseok for fools.”

“Are you serious right now? What the fuck do you mean I played you both like fools!” your voice rose to a shout.

Jimin’s nostrils flared and he scowled at you. “You know exactly what I mean!”. You noticed his eyes getting glossy, and a shine overcoming them.

“Well fuck you then. We’re done here�� your voice shook but you swallowed the growing tightness in your throat.

“I think that would be best. Make up for you fucking mind y/n” his tone lowered and he shook his head.

“Don’t you dare say that to me Park Jimin” you stepped towards him. “Don’t you fucking dare. Who the fuck was it that brought Bethany to the party. Do you think I am stupid? Don’t put all this on me because you can’t deal with your feelings” your voice quivered once more, and you bit your lip to stop yourself from letting out a sob you had been trying to choke back.

He took a step towards you. “Tell me that on the day you figure out how to deal with your feelings” Jimin’s lip quivered.

“You spoiled everything Jimin! I wish I had never met you. I wish I had never kissed you because it was the single worst mistake of my life.” you spat harshly. Finally the tears fell slowly.

Jimin’s expression faltered as the frown from his face disappeared. “I wish I had never met you either” he replied through clenched teeth and the tears he had been trying to hold back slid down his cheeks.

It broke your heart.

It broke his heart.

Turning away from each other you went your separate ways.

///

Your whole room was a pile of tissues and nothing else. Your nose was dry and it hurt to even touch it but the tears wouldn’t stop falling. You felt restless. There was a weird itch somewhere deep inside you which made it unable for you to focus. You couldn’t sit, nor stand. You couldn’t sleep or eat. Even when you tried to talk, you couldn’t get more than a single word out because you just felt so angry.

Your whole body felt as if it was on edge. You didn’t know what to do with yourself. If you sat down, you wanted to stand. If you stood you wanted to lie. If you laid down, you wanted to walk around. If even for a second you felt drowsy, your stomach would tighten and all intent and desire to sleep would vanish. You did not know what to do with your hands, or the rest of your body. You really wanted to punch something. Maybe even break a few plates and cups, or scream at the top of your lungs until you lose your voice.

Grabbing the pillow next to you, you held it against against your face and screamed.

“I hate you Park Jimin. I fucking hate you so much” you pulled the pillow away and sighed, hoping that with one breath all the tiredness, pain and suffering would end. But that is not how it works. Unfortunately.

“Stupid fucking feelings” you muttered cradling your head in your hands.

Self-blaming was a specialty of yours so naturally, you blamed a part of it on yourself because you shouldn’t even have talked to him. After that night at the party where you kissed him, you should have just distanced yourself. But you didn’t. You hated that you allowed yourself to feel something and couldn’t back off.

How in the world could he think you were playing him and Hoseok? How was it so easy for him to put everything on you, as if he hadn’t complicated things on his end?

The door to your room opened and Taehyung peeked his head inside. “Oh y/n” he sighed at your disheveled state. Opening the door wider he entered your room.

“Why do you guys fight when you can’t handle the aftermath?” he shook his head as he approached you.

“What?” you sniffled, wiping your nose with a tissue you picked up from the box next to you.

“I just met Jimin” Taehyung sat down beside you, against the headboard of your bed.

Even after everything, a small part of you wanted to ask how he was doing. Why was it that despite being hurt a tiny part of you still felt compelled to look after his well being?

“He’s the same” Taehyung turned to look at you. “If not worse”

“I don’t care” you croaked. “He deserves to be” you felt contempt, and a lot of it.

“I heard what happened” Taehyung stated with a soft voice.

You felt his eyes on you, but refrained from making eye contact. What could he do? How could he possibly fix it? Hell, you didn’t even want anything fixed. At this point you wanted Park Jimin to be a distant memory.

“I’ve never seen him cry you know?” Taehyung stared at you silently.

“Are you trying to advocate for him right now?” you scoffed, feeling disappointed.

“No!” Taehyung raised his hands in the air. “Not at all. He said something he shouldn’t have said. I get it. You’re angry at him. You have every right to be. But to be fair to both of you, it has been confusing. Neither of you know how to deal with your feelings”

“I have no feelings towards him. I hate that guy” you bit through your teeth.

Taehyung’s lips pressed into a thin line and his nose scrunched. “Right now he kinda hates you too”

“Good. Because that’s how it’s supposed to be” you replied without hesitation.

You heard Taehyung sighing next to you. “You have both put me in a very awkward position”

“Trust me Tae. The position you are in is way better than the one I am in. It fucking sucks” you cradled your head in your hands.

“I know y/n. I am sorry” he gently patted your back.

“I don’t know what to do. I just want to slap Jimin. Honestly. He’s fucked everything up. Again. I can’t do this anymore. It’s not like I wanted any of it to happen. I was perfectly fucking content hating him. But no. He just had to go and ruin it. He’s ruined everything” you felt the tears welling up in you eyes again and tried to blink them away.

“Just listening to you is making me feel frustrated” Taehyung chuckled softly. “If you like each other, then just forget everything else”

“I don’t like him! besides after what he said to me, I am never going to feel anything for him ever again. The fact that I did feel something is a tragedy in and of itself”

“It’s not that easy, bunny. This is your anger talking. Not you. We can’t control our feelings anymore than we can control our lives” his lips curved into a small sympathetic smile.

Fuck feelings” you choked. “Fuck everything” you wiped your eyes using the back of your hand.

Taehyung studied you silently and then he forced himself to lighten his expression with a smile. He hated seeing you sad and didn’t want to dwell on the same topic for too long knowing it would only add to your frustration.“But not ice cream!” he exclaimed with excitement as the smile stretched across his lips and reached his eyes, making the corners crinkle.

“What?”

“You’re sad and Jimin is sad. So naturally I feel sad too because two of my closest friends are hurt. So, lets just wallow in our misery and throw a pity-party” he pushed himself off the floor and stood up. Reaching out a hand towards you, he waited in silence.

You looked up at him and felt thankful. For the first time in two days, your body felt lighter. Just seeing your best friend smile was enough to give you energy. So you slide your hand into his and he helped you up.

///

You and Taehyung spent hours sitting on the couch and eating all the junk food items you could find. Sure, it felt gross and you were nauseated but there was a sense of satisfaction. You looked around and noticed there were so many tubs of ice cream, chocolate wrappers, cans of soda and wondered for a second how you managed to eat half of all that.

Taehyung was still eating ice cream next to you. You grinned looking at him. “Thank you Tae”

“Hmm? What?” he slowly turned his gaze away from the TV and towards you.

“I said thank you”

“Of course” Taehyung put down the tub of ice cream and grabbed you in a headlock and ruffled your hair but not without planting a kiss on your head.

“Let go!” you slapped at his arm that was wrapped around your neck.

“I love you, you crazy girl” Tae ruffled your hair once more before letting you go.

“I wish I could say the same” you replied in a raspy voice followed by a cough.

Taehyung laughed. “You’re crazy”

It was silent as you both settled back and watch Star Wars, giving your complete attention to the movie. Chick flicks are a thing of the past. Now-a-days you get over your sadness by watching action movies. It’s mostly for cathartic reasons. If you can’t actually hurt the person who hurt you, then the least you can do is see other’s fight and vicariously live through it.

Even though you were watching Star Wars, your mind was still restless. It was definitely better than before because your body didn’t feel on edge, but your mind was still stuck in the same rut.

You know what I mean!

You could still hear Jimin’s voice in your head. The way he looked at you, the way he let himself be vulnerable enough to let a few tears slide down his face. All of it makes you feel irritated. Somehow he managed to make you feel guilty. So, how can you trust a guy like that? How can you feel anything for someone who doesn’t even show you a shred of respect and thinks you are playing him.

Will you ever be able to explain to him your feelings?

“Stop thinking” Taehyung’s voice drew you out of reverie.

“What?” your brows furrowed together in confusion.

“If you’re just gonna think about him, then talk to him”

“I am never going to talk to him again Tae. I don’t even want to see his face” your nose screwed up in irritation.

“Well that’s going to be tough” Taehyung retorted, not exactly making you feel better.

“Ughhh.. Don’t remind me” you propped your feet on the sofa and brought your knees to your chest.

Just then your phone rang.

Your brows creased and you looked at Taehyung. You showed him your phone and his expression changed to one of confusion as well as he raised his crinkled eyebrows.

“Why is Jungkook calling you?” he questioned

“Like I would know” you replied and placed the phone to your ear. “Hello?”

At first all you heard were sighs and grunts. The sound of heavy breathing filtered through and you wondered if he pocket dialed you while working out.

“Bro” you heard Jungkook say through the other end.

“Kookie?”

“Oh- uh hey y/n” he sighed heavily. “Sorry. Jimin is fucked up right now”

“What did he do?” you questioned

“Uhh..” Jeongguk sighed once more. “He got drunk and then he got into a fight. Someone called the police-”

“Police?” you shot up from your seat, heart racing in your chest.

“It’s alright. I got him out” Jeongguk replied calmly. “The only problem is he won’t go home unless you come”

“Me?” your heart quickened once more because lord knows you didn’t even want to see Jimin.

“Yeah. We’re outside the police station. He’s still drunk and half asleep yet he keeps asking for you. Please come down here. I am about to lose my mind and I might end up hitting him because he’s being annoying as fuck. Please” Jungkook pleads.

You shake your head as if he could see you from the other side of the phone. “I can’t Jeongguk”

“Please y/n” the desperation was evident in his voice. “As much as I want to I can’t leave him here. Please. If not for him, then for me. I need your help”

“Jeongguk” you sighed. After a moment of deliberation you agreed. “Okay. Text me where you are”

Hanging up you turned to Taehyung. “You really meant it when you said Jimin wasn’t doing well”

“What do you mean?” Taehyung eyed you curiously.

“Well your friend got drunk, got into a fight, got hauled to the police station. Don’t worry Jeongguk got him out” you replied noticing Taehyung was about to speak.

“Okay…”

“Problem is your friend, won’t leave unless I go there. Jeongguk is seriously desperate. I am going there to help him” you explained to Taehyung who squinted his eyes at you.

“Are you sure?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you sure you’re going there to help Kookie?”

“Definitely” you nodded, making sure to look Taehyung in the eyes so he doesn’t think you are lying or conflicted. “I am pissed off at Park Jimin. I am not going there for him and honestly at this point I don’t really care for him. I am just going to help Jeongguk because he sounded exceptionally desperate over the phone”

Taehyung nodded slowly but he didn’t look convinced.

///

“What’s wrong with him?” you asked Jeongguk, while looking at Jimin who was nodding off.

“He’s drunk, asleep and injured. But he kept asking for you a while back when he was still awake. Something about how he shouldn’t have been so mean” Jeongguk lips pressed into a thin line in what you assumed to be a sympathetic smile. “But thank you for coming”

“Of course. I would help you out anytime, any day” the corners of your mouth lifted into a smile.

“Do you mind grabbing his other arm?” Jeongguk grunted as he grabbed Jimin’s arm and helped his stand up.

You hesitated for a moment. Biting your lip you nodded your head. “S-s-sure”

You reached for Jimin’s arm but right then the image of the you tangled withhim, his lips on yours, his hands traversing all over your body flashed in your mind. Instantly,your fingers curled into your palm just as you were about to touch him. Gulping away the tightness in your throat, you grasped Jimin’s arm and steadied him on his feet. With Jimin secured between you and Jeongguk you began walking.

The sounds of your shuffling feet against the rough gravel, and the whistling of wind through surrounding trees was all that could be heard as you and Jeongguk stayed mum. Every now and then you could feel him glancing at you and somehow you just knew that he knew about your fight with Jimin.

At one point you both ended up looking at each other at the same time and then awkwardly looking away with nervous laughter.

“I am sorry y/n” he spoke softly, adjusting Jimin’s arm around the back of his shoulders.

“Why?”

“Because I know how hard it must be for you coming here and having to see him” he motioned his head at Jimin who was mumbling something that you couldn’t care less about.

“Thank you for saying that” you offered him a tight lipped smile.

“He was wrong to say what he said to you” Jeongguk continued and you wished he would drop it because being reminded of it left pangs of pain in your chest.

“Yeah he was and I am glad you see it that way too”

“Having said that, he’s also sorry. You didn’t see him y/n” Jeongguk peaked at you from behind Jimin’s head. “He was devastated if nothing more.I found him at the gym punching away at a sandbag until his knuckles bled. His eyes were bloodshot and swollen” Jeongguk paused.

Somehow you were having trouble imagining a vulnerable Jimin.

“Then despite me threatening to punch him out he went to a bar, got drunk and got into a fight with some dudes over a parking spot. He didn’t even fucking drive to the damn bar and he knew what he was doing. Because when I tried to stop him, he told me he deserves to be hit” you glanced at Jimin’s hand which was hanging off your shoulder. It was bruised and blue.

You didn’t know what to think or say because it sounded so unlike Jimin.

“He doesn’t know how to express his feelings. He’s never been good at it. When he doesn’t know how to deal with something, he lashes out and says things he doesn’t mean”

“I am pretty sure he meant it” you looked at Jeongguk straight faced because you did believe he meant it.

Jeongguk shook his head. “I’ve known him longer than you. He didn’t”

“Fine. Let’s say he didn’t. That doesn’t make it hurt any less”

“I know this doesn’t make you feel better but I just wanted you to know that he did feel bad. Despite everything he has done in the past and now, he’s a good guy” Jeongguk pressed his lips together in a half-hearted smile.

“Not to me” you whispered, his words bringing back the pang of disappointment and hurt in your chest. “Just out of curiosity, why are you telling me all this?”

“Because I know that if Jimin was conscious he would say the same thing to you”

You didn’t say anything but concentrated on supporting Jimin because you were starting to feel tired as all three of you stumbled. Thankfully, you didn’t have to walk far enough because his apartment was nearby. Jeongguk punched in the code for Jimin’s apartment and the door opened. You carried him through the elevator and up to the seventh floor.

You didn’t have much time nor interest to look around his apartment. Jeongguk laid him down on the couch and ran off somewhere leaving the two of you alone.

“Do you want water?” you heard Jeongguk calling.

“No! I am good. Thank you!” you yelled back. You noticed that Jimin was nodding off again and couldn’t help but notice the gash on his forehead, his split lip, and bruises around his eye.

Just how much is going to mess things up for himself?

The shuffling of feet against the marble floor alerted you that Jeongguk was coming so you quickly looked away from Jimin and slide your hands in your jacket pockets. He sat Jimin up and flicked some water on his face which made him perk up a bit.

“Drink this” he put the rim of a glass containing some kind of green juice to his lips.

Jimin flinched as the liquid touched his mouth. You stood and watched as he gulped it down and by the end he was coughing. Jeongguk patted his back. “Good man” hethen left again leaving you alone with Jimin, who was in a groggy state and still reeling from the taste of whatever Jeongguk gave him.

As if he realized someone was standing over him he looked up. “Y/n?” he croaked, massaging his throat.

“I am leaving!” you called to Jeongguk. But he didn’t respond so you took that as your cue to leave and turned on your heels and headed towards the front door.

“Wait!” you heard Jimin.

“I have nothing to say to you” you didn’t turn around.

“ I am sorry” he said. He didn’t even sound sorry in the least bit.

You turned around. “Say that to me when you really mean it” you scoffed.

Jimin didn’t respond. He just looked at you and hung his head low. “I didn’t mean what I said”

“Yes you did”

He sighed and folded his arms across his chest. “I know you think I did. But I didn’t. I was just pissed”

You chuckled bitterly. “Don’t talk to me about pissed, man. Let’s not talk about it. We’ll end up arguing again. I can’t deal with any more. It’s too much”

“Yeah” he whispered. “Me too”.

“Good. Because I don’t want to talk right now” you replied shortly.

You gave a curt nod, and made good on your word to leave because the universe knows that you want nothing from Jimin. Not even an apology.

///

Jimin hadn’t come to any classes for the past three days. A sense of relief washed over you the first day you did not see him. But sure enough his fan club wasn’t very pleased with him not showing up.

“Where is he?” one of the girls in first year whined to her friends and they all responded with solemn expressions.

You rolled your eyes as you walked by them. Not having him around made the tight knot in your stomach and throat go away. It finally felt like you could breathe. You were still very angry at him, and you were thankful that he wasn’t there because another argument would be guaranteed if he showed up.

On the first day after your fight you went about your life, trying to erase every trace of Park Jimin from your life. You stayed away from the gym because it would remind you of him. You stayed away from the basketball court and actively took measures to avoid running into any of his teammates. You avoided the library because you spent time with him there and it was the last place you wanted to be because just thinking about it brought memories of the argument back. You even skipped going to Monet’s with Taehyung because that is where you first realized this complicated thing called “feelings” between you and Jimin. You also skipped going to the soccer field to cheer on Hoseok for a friendly game with a rival college because it also reminded you of Jimin.

On the second day of Jimin’s absence you spent most of your time in the student lounge studying and working on assignments. You ended up making friends with an exchange student and showed him around town. It was a perfect day, away from college, away from people who were associated with Jimin. You went to karaoke with your new friend Jaden, and had a blast belting out one song after another. Following the past few stressful months, this was the release you needed. Your body felt so light, and you could feel the endorphins having a positive effect because you felt a surge of energy and happiness.

The third day brought about a whole day of classes devoid of Jimin which was perfect because you had no distractions. For once in months, you could finally concentrate on your lectures and managed to understand whatever was being taught. That felt like such a huge accomplishment that the rest of the day you had a skip to your step, and a huge smile on your face. Not to mention you ended up acing the in class quiz after the lecture which also helped elevate your mood. After having one failure in your life after another, one drama after another, doing well on a quiz provided you with a sense of self-satisfaction which you realized you had forgotten the feeling of.

“Wow, you’ve got a glow” Yoongi offered you his usual gummy smile.

“I aced the quiz and I finally after months was able to attend a lecture properly with full focus” you returned his smile and sat down across him on the cafeteria table.

“Good for you!” he nodded. “Listen, Valentine's day is coming up-”

“Ughhh. No. Whatever you are about to ask me, my answer is no” you shook your head vigorously. It was such a pointless occasion, you still couldn’t understand why half the world obsessed over it.

“Chill. We were thinking of hosting a spring dance but a Valentines’ day theme and I wanted to ask if you would be kind enough to grab the decorations from the old art studio. Also, I wanted to know if you would come to the dance”

“Fine” you sighed.

“So you’ll come?” Yoongi looked at you with anticipation

“I meant fine that I will get you the docrations. But, no. I won’t come. No offense but I have a very different opinion about this “holiday” compared to other people. So, no”

“I am not a fan either but we haven’t had a fun event in the months after that camping trip we took. Kind of feels dry so one of the student council members suggested we do this to bring up everyone’s spirits” Yoongi eyed you.

“Yeah” you shrugged. “Do it. But don’t count on me. I am going to stay home and relax” you stretched your arms in front of yourself, feeling the tiredness finally leaving you.

Yoongi rolled his eyes. “So much for school spirit”

“I don’t have any” you replied coolly.

///

The fourth day, Park Jimin showed up which was announced by the screams of first year girls. Your heart sank into your chest as you watched him approach your direction. You clutched the book tighter around your chest, knuckles turning white around the binding. Your eyes met, and no matter how much you wanted to look away you couldn’t. The closer he came, you noticed the small cut on the corner of his upper lip, and a small gash on his forehead partly hidden by his fringe, looked better than the day he got into the fight.

He didn’t take his eyes off you either. You gulped, noticing the quickening beat of your heart. Despite everything, that weird feeling in the pit of your stomach, under your skin was back. You had hoped it would have gone away but it didn’t as the moment you saw Jimin you started feeling it again. Your throat constricted once more, which happens when you are about to cry. Your stomach twisted, and your breathing fastened.

He was still coming towards you and you were frozen. As if your feet had been stuck with glue to the floor. The urgency to move grew within the pit of your stomach but your legs wouldn’t move. Jimin was close.

Move

Just at the right moment you felt a tug to your arm and found yourself looking at Hoseok. You glanced towards Jimin’s direction from the corner of your eyes and noticed him looking at you and Hoseok.

“Hi Hoseok” you smiled.

“Long time no see” his cheeks blushed a slight pink colour.

“Yeah” you avert your gaze down to the floor for a moment and then looked up at him.

“How have you been?” you question offering a small smile.

“Busy. I’ve got to start preparing for the upcoming season so I am just headed to practice” the corners of his mouth upturned into a bright grin.

“No rest for you huh!” you teased. “Well, I won’t keep you from it. Good luck and don’t stress too much about it”

“Thanks” Hoseok smiled and held out his arms towards you.

You blinked for a second before realizing he was leaning in for a hug. You let his arms enclose around you and with your free arm patted his back. He tightly squeezed you and lifted you off your feet, immediately making you giggle. He gently set you down and pulled back. “I’ll see you around”

“See you. Have fun at practice” you nodded and then he pivoted on his heels and strolled away past the crowd of students, and behind Jimin.

He was still standing at the same spot and he had seen everything. It didn’t matter but you knew it couldn’t mean anything good given past experiences. You let yourself look at him for one more moment before turning the opposite way and vanishing behind the group of first year girls who were whispering, and squealing.

It shouldn’t have affected you. Seeing him should have been a normal occurrence-- the way you notice other people around you and forget about them-- that’s how it should have been with Jimin. But it wasn’t. It was so much more than that. Before your mind could even react your body had taken over and you felt everything all over again.

All sense of relief had been washed away the moment you saw him. Your stomach felt tight, and you were sure you were going to lose your appetite again. You did not like it one bit-- the way he was looking at you and Hoseok and you wondered if he would get into another fight with him.

“Deep breaths” you mumbled to yourself. “Deep breaths” the thought in itself was enough to provoke anxiety.

You turned a corner and entered the old art studio to look for the decorations that Yoongi had asked you to. You were thankful that for at least a little bit you would have something to distract you.

The moment you opened the door a gust of dusty wind greeted you, immediately making you cough. The entire studio was filled with old canvases, and boxes containing decorations labeled with different events in the past. Stepping in further you tried to find the light switch, but even as you flicked it up and down the lights did not turn on. So, you opened the door wider to let sunlight filter into the dim room.

Cautiously, you stepped over a bunch of canvases that had toppled over and made your way to the back of the room which was lined with giant boxes. Scanning through all the rows you found the two labeled “VD” which you assumed meant Valentines day. Standing on your tiptoes you reached an arm up to grab the box which happened to be on the top row.

Geez. Thanks universe

Groaning and grunting with effort, you tried to extend your arm further but it wouldn’t reach. Looking around you surveyed your surroundings for some kind of a step stool, or even a stable enough box you could step on. But alas, as your luck would have it, there is nothing you can use. Not even a ladder.

“Just one more fucking thing that won’t go right” you sighed and looked heavenward, silently praying to the man upstaird for some help.

And help he did send. Just not in the form of something useful like a ladder.

“Y/n?”

The familiar voice tugged at your heart, which sank deep into the depths of your stomach as you felt your gut twisting into knots once more.

“Jimin?” your eyes widened in horror as you whispered to yourself without looking back at him because the whole frickin universe knows you don’t want to. Why is he even here?

“What are you doing here?” he questioned.

You heard his footsteps coming closer and had half a mind to run past him, but that would only have been possible if you could clearly see. But there was just enough light to illuminate vague shapes in the darkness. It was a guarantee that if you tried you would trip over something and that would bring its own unnecessary embarrassment.

You sighed heavily before turning to face him.

“I could ask you the same” you rolled your eyes, hardly able to believe your fate. But then again everything that has happened so far wasn’t exactly the definition of stellar.

“Yoongi told me to get decorations for some spring dance or something” he stepped further into the room,blocking the single ray of light coming in through the door and all you could see of him was a dark outline of his body.

“What? He told me to do that?” your nose scrunched in confusion. “I swear if you are pulling some kind of stunt on me, there is plenty in here that I can kill you with” you threatened as you retreated deeper into the room, accidentally stepping over something hard. Stupid Park Jimin was blocking the light and you didn’t want to say anything because the less you spoke to him the better it would be for both of you.

“Why would I do that?” you could hear the outrage in his voice.

“Oh I don’t know” you paused. “Maybe because you have a history of trying to make my life a living hell” Despite that though, something felt off.

You heard him sigh. He didn’t say anything and you felt glad for it.

Shaking your head you turned d to face the myriad of boxes staring back at you, two of which were waiting to be taken out so you could deliver them to Yoongi. Although you tried once before, you tried again to reach up to the box but only managed to get your finger tips scratching against the box. It wasn’t enough height to actually grip it.

“You’ll hurt yourself” you heard Jimin behind you.

“I’ll do it. So leave. I don’t want to talk to you” you strained as you spoke still trying to reach for the box.

Thud

You flinched and turned back around to find that the door had been shut behind Jimin.

“Shit!” you ran for the door, shoving Jimin out of your way and almost knocking him over. “No!” you shook the door as hard as you could to try and open it, but it wouldn’t open. “Hey! We’re in here!!” you yelled as you pounded at the door. “Open it!”

“It’s pointless. It was Yoongi” Jimin’s statement makes you give up.

And then it made sense to you. Of course it was Yoongi. But it wasn’t just Yoongi. It was Taehyung and Jeongguk too. You could see Taehyung’s name written all over this. They knew about your fight with Jimin. He would obviously have told Jeongguk, and Taehyung would have informed Yoongi-- because why not your life is a damn drama anyway.

“Fucking idiots” you groaned as you tried to pry open the door once more by violently pulling at the door handle.

“Save your breath” you heard Jimin and your immediate reaction was to roll your eyes.

You were half expecting him to apologize to you by now-- but you should have known better. It’s Jimin, and you should know by now to not have any expectations from him at all. Yet knowing that, you still somehow ended up with expectations. Jimin could never be the man you wanted him to be yet there you were agonizing over him and how you felt about everything.

Despite everything, the nervous knots in your stomach still lingered behind the anger that was starting to boil over. Your heart somehow still managed to beat frantically against your desperate wishes for it to not. In spite of the frustration, you still felt unnerved, and completely helpless without control over your own mind and body. It served to add to your agitation because what could be more pathetic than feeling all these emotions because of someone you were adamant on hating, yet unable to do so?

You hated how much control Jimin had over you and yet none at all at the same time. He was right. It wasn’t his fault you felt all these feelings when you were the one who looked at him and built expectations in your head. He never forced you, never asked you to worry for him. Yet you did. So how could you blame him and not yourself when a part of it was of your making?

A long exasperated sigh left your mouth and as you slid against the floor and fell on your butt.

It was absolutely dark in the room. Whatever light had been coming in was blocked by the closed door. You closed your eyes and rested your head against it, bringing your knees to your chest and just waiting, no clue for what. It was not like you were magically going to get whisked away from the room and away from Jimin although that would have been a very welcome occurrence.

Then you felt a flash of light causing you to open your eyes.You noticed Jimin had turned on the flashlight from his phone and was walking towards you. There was nowhere else to run towards so you stayed where you were.

He mirrored your posture and collapsed next to you, leaning against the door as well.

Neither of you spoke, and you both actively avoided looking at each other. You fiddled with your hands while Jimin tapped his foot on the ground. From the corner of your eyes you could see him biting his nails.

As if the room wasn’t stuffy enough already, now you were stuck with Jimin and every breath you took seemed to get stuck in your throat. But this was not anything new because feeling suffocated around Jimin was like an occupational hazard. His foot tapping was starting to drive you nuts because it forced you to focus on him and that was the last thing you wanted to do. Not that you could have focused on anything else even if he weren’t sending you a reminder of his presence.

“Stop it!” you snapped, slapping his knee.

Immediately he stops but not without sending you a glare. “What the hell?”

You sighed. “Just shut up”

“I wasn’t the one that started it” he responded shortly.

“Fine. I’ll end it then. Let’s not talk” you shook your head. “Unless you will apologize” you mumbled under your breath but not too quietly because you did want him to hear it.

“How the fuck are we supposed to get out of here if we don’t talk about it?” he turned to face you, his profile illuminated by soft light.

“I am going to call Yoongi, and tell him that we talked it out and we’re good because I am 99% sure they pulled this stunt because they wanted us to talk about whatever happened” you pulled out your phone and were in the midst of dialling Yoongi’s number when Jimin grasped your wrist and pushed your hand down to prevent you from calling.

“But we haven’t talked”

“They don’t need to know it. Just put on those awesome acting skills of yours to use and we’ll pretend we’re good” you wrested your wrist out of his grasp.

“Stubborn as always, Jesus” he shook his head and sighed in what sounded like disappointment.

It worked it gaining your attention because you put your phone away. “Do you really think I want to talk to you after you basically implied I am some kind of two timing slut?”

“That’s not what I meant!” Jimin immediately defends himself.

“Sounded exactly like that” you squinted your eyes at him and glared.

“It wasn’t” he matched your gaze.

But he still did not apologize.

“Wow. You just can’t admit you are wrong can you?” the anger you were feeling bubbled over in your voice

“Fine! I shouldn’t have said that. I was wrong!” he throws his hands in the air.

“Great! Thanks. That totally sounds like a sincere apology” you stood up and dusted your jeans. You dialled Yoongi’s phone once again.

“Y/n” came Yoongi’s voice.

“Get us out of here” you said curtly, losing patience by the second.

“Did you guys talk?” he questioned sounding thoroughly unconvinced.

“We did. He apologized. I forgave him. We’re good and please don’t expect anything else”

“I know better than that with you two” he chuckled. “Fine we’re on our way”

You hung up. Great. There is more waiting around yet. Jimin was still sitting on the ground with his head between his knees. You glanced down at him and couldn’t help but roll your eyes. How could he not be sincere about it? Your hand clenched into a fist the more you dwelled on it and you raised it in the air to hit him when he lifted his head. You quickly put your hand by your side, planted your face against the door and pretended as if you were looking outside.

He stood up, dusted his clothes off. “Y/n-’

“Nope” you craned your neck further against the door as if it would help. The only thing that would do was give you a neck cramp.

“Fine. Fuck it” he snapped.

Your brows creased in confusion at his reaction and you turned to face him. “Seriously?” you scoffed. “How can you-”

The door opened and gust of wind blew through your hair.

“Ah there you guys are” Yoongi appeared in your line of sight as you blinked multiple times to adjust to the light. “Still alive” he chuckled.

“Can’t say the same for you” you slapped him on the arm. Hard.

“Ow!” he rubbed the spot where you hit him.

“Yay! You didn’t kill each other” Taehyung stepped out from behind Yoongi, offering you an awkward smile.

“I am going to kill you” you glared at him and he averted his gaze.Jeongguk peeked in from behind the other door and offered a sheepish smile. “You too” you glared at him and he too looked away.

You shoved past all three of them, hearing small groans and mumbles of complaints as you left.

///

After the incident with Jimin and you being locked in the same room, you decided it was best to go home and rest. You did not have any other classes, and besides you felt too angry to want to talk to Yoongi, Jeongguk, and Taehyung. How could they do you like that? Taehyung especially knew how you felt about it, so how could he even think that you would be okay with something like that?

You knew the moment your eyes started growing heavy, you had been pushed past your limit. So, after multiple sleepless nights you let the drowsiness engulf you and drown you in a deep sleep.

A loud obnoxious knock on the door awoke you from your peaceful nap. Finally after so many days you had no afternoon class because the professor was sick and Taehyung also wasn’t home. But it seemed even a few hours of peace were not in your kismet. You stretched your arms over your head and groggily stood up, dragging your feet towards the door.

You opened the it in your half asleep state and- “Jimin?”

You were awake. Completely alert and awake.

He shoved past you and inside.

“What the-” you followed behind him. “I didn’t say you could come in”

He was already sitting on the couch. “I know. Sit” he motioned to the spot next to him.

“Why are you here?” you folded your arms defensively

“To apologize” he sighed. “Sit” he said sternly, not removing his gaze from you.

You didn’t want to give in so you dug your heels into the ground and stared back with a blank expression.

Jimin pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Always so fucking stubborn”. He looked up at you again. “Sit down”

“Doesn’t seem to me that you are here to apologize” you snapped tapping your foot on the ground.

“Not until you sit down” he insisted. “Look. I am not here to fight or pick an argument with you. So please sit down”

You regarded him in silence. He was just staring at you with conviction in his eyes. His gaze was unflinching.

1 second

2 seconds

3 seconds

4 seconds

“Oh for fucks sake, sit down y/n” Jimin yelled making you flinch.

“Stop yelling!” you matched the loudness of his voice after composing yourself. “And no, I don’t want to sit. I don’t want to talk about anything” you turned on your heels and headed towards the door. You turned the handle and just as you were about to open the door, it shut with a loud thud making you flinch.

You felt a tug at your arm.

“What are you doing!?” you pressed hard against his chest using your palms, but he did not budge. “Let me go!” you yelled just as his hands enclosed around your wrists and he pinned you against the door. He was holding your wrists against his chest as he pressed you further against the door.

It was too close for comfort.

“No. I won’t. You have to listen to me”

“I don’t want to” you tried to wrest your hands from his grasp but his hands only tightened around your wrists in response. “Jimin, it’s hurting”

“Good. Because I am hurting too. Why the fuck wont you just listen to me?!” he snapped.

“Because!” you yelled. “Because I know what it will lead to and I don’t want that to come” your vision grew misty because of tears.

“Why!” he pulled you towards himself, your hands still pressed against his chest.

“I don’t know. I am just scared. I am terrified of this Jimin. Don’t you see?” you swallowed hard to choke back a sob.

“Yeah. Like it’s so easy for me right?” his eyes searched yours for any kind of indication that you understood. “You do not understand how frustrating this is for me”

“I don’t understand? I can’t do anything Jimin! I can’t even sleep. I feel suffocated all the time and there is this tightness in my stomach that I am always trying to get rid of. Are you happy that you have created a mess out of me?” you glared at him feeling the heat rising in your body.

He scoffed. “I have never met anyone in my life who could destroy me so gently in the way that you have. I meant it when I said I was prepared to hate you forever. I was. I never thought I could feel anything other than dislike for you. But something changed. I know you don’t like talking about this but hear me out” he said when he noticed you were going to speak. He let go of your wrists and leaned in while placing both his hands on either side of you, effectively trapping you between himself and the door.

“These past few months have been the most frustrating, agonizing, and painful months of my life. I didn’t want my feelings to change. God knows, I tried. I tried so hard to make them go away. I tried to distract myself with girls to get away from my feelings. I know you are aware of why I brought Bethany to the party. Y/n, you have to know how unbearably difficult this is for me.I am absolutely terrified every time I am around you” he chuckled to himself.

“Right now, I can’t even breathe because you are in front of me. My heart is going crazy in here” he pointed to his chest, eyes never wavering away from yours. “All I can hear are the vibrations of my heart beating so loud that I feel like I’ll have a heart attack. I am barely able to hear myself. You do something to me. Every single time I am near you, I just forget who and what I am supposed to be”

“Jimin-”

“No” he shook his head. “I need you to know this. You and Hoseok, I don’t know what your dynamic is. I don’t know what you feel for him. It makes me jealous seeing you with him because I know what he feels for you” he cleared his throat because his voice quivered. “And because I know what he feels for you, I am terrified”

“Why?” you asked, despite not wanting to interrupt him because you needed to understand this part of him if you ever wanted to truly understand the depth and complexity of his feelings.

“Because I don’t want you to like him. Because he’s a better man than I am and a hundred times more deserving of you. Because I know you will be happier with him. Because at the end of the day I know you could do better than me. But the saddest part is I can’t do better than you and I know it. There’s you and then there’s nothing” he paused, trying to collect his thoughts.

“It’s incredibly selfish of me to want you. I’ve spent my whole life trying to get rid of the empty feeling inside of me. Most of the fucked up things I have done in my life; booze, smoking, mindless sex-- it’s all because I had never truly felt anything. But then you happened and all of a sudden I felt the whole fucking spectrum of emotions. This isn’t an excuse for my past behaviour in any way. But it’s true” he bit his lip and let go of your wrists.

Dumfounded, all you could do was stare at him. “I-I didn’t know…” you trailed off unable to find the right words to say. Every single word of his hit you like a ton of bricks. You never thought he was capable of feeling so much because he always put on his don’t-give-a-shit- act on.

He laughed softly. “You couldn’t have. I suck at showing my feelings. I don’t know what to do with myself when I am around you. I guess that’s why I do stupid shit”

Silence followed Jimin’s words as both of you avoided looking at each other. Being this vulnerable with each other was not exactly something you were comfortable with.

“I am not playing you or Hoseok for fools” you said in a quiet tone which made Jimin look up at you.

“Y/n-”

“No. Let me finish. I don’t know what I feel for you. But Hoseok is just a friend. I don’t have any feelings for him. Yes he’s a very nice guy, but he’s not the right one for me because if he was I would already like him. But I don’t. Not in that sense. Being around you is suffocating for me too. You-” you chuckle to yourself. “You make me feel things no one has before. The night we kissed, I had never felt that way before. But whatever this is between us, it won’t work” you shake your head.

“You’re right. It won’t because you have already made up your mind. I am sick of trying to be better so that I can feel like I deserve you. But you won’t even give me a chance”

“What would change if I did? Hmm?”

“Everything” he whispered, his eyes conveying desperation that you were feeling too.

“What then?” you shrugged.

He looked at you, trying his best to understand what you were feeling. But he couldn’t.

“What are you scared of?”

“You” you whispered. “ How do I trust you? How do I trust that you won’t hurt me?”

“I won’t” his hands moved from beside you, to cup your cheeks. “I won’t” he whispered as he left a feather light peck on your forehead. You eyes closed instinctively, and your hands clenched into fists beside you.

He pulled back to look at you. “It’s always been about you y/n. All of it”

You opened your eyes to look up at him. “Then prove it to me”

“I promise I will” he replied.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Don’t forget to like or reblog if you enjoyed reading this! Feedback is welcome as always. Thank you for taking the time to read :)

#bts #bts jimin x reader #bts scenarios #bts smut #bts enemies to lovers #bts college au #bts badboy au #bts fluff #bts angst #bts jimin scenarios #bts jimin fanfic #bts jimin college au #jimin x reader

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plaidbooks · 3 years

Text

Everyone Deserves Love chapter 8

A/N: This starts with a little bit of fluffy cuteness, but don’t let that fool you! Jenkins coming in hot, and then it switches to angst. And it stays angst. So heads up, it’s gonna be angst for a bit haha.

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Tags: none, outside of feelings, oh, I guess minor character death that was mentioned in one line

Words: 6k+

Taglist: @the-baby-bookworm @beccabarba (lemme know if you want to be tagged!)

Apartment of Rafael Barba

Saturday, May 2nd. 5:00am

Devon woke up at 5am sharp, as usual, even after being up over 24 hours the day before. She uncurled on the couch, stretching while standing, then went through her morning routine: exercise, shower, dress. She tried to be as quiet as possible, since Barba was still asleep, and she planned to let him sleep in a little, their deal from the previous night. Normally on weekends, he would stumble out of his room around 8am. Glancing at the clock, it was still early; only 6:30. Devon planned on making coffee to go with the breakfast, so she decided that 8am would be the safest time to start it. Until then, though, she’d work on the abandoned report from last night, while trying to ignore the thoughts that had stopped that report. Having those types of thoughts helped no one and was wildly unprofessional. So, she shoved her feelings away, focusing on the events from the past two days instead.

Time flew by and 8am came faster than she thought it would, with no signs of life from Barba’s room. She still got up from the couch, report done, and started the French press. While waiting for the water to heat up, she went to the FBI database, trying to check on the last 12 Aces in the city. She looked up from her laptop when she heard Barba’s door open; she didn’t even hear him shower, yet his hair was still damp from the spray. He was in nice slacks and a plain polo shirt; his “casual” attire, unlike his “weekend” suits. It was always a little treat seeing someone who was normally in expensive suits dressing in something…not as expensive. Casual. He still looked damn good, though.

“Good morning,” Devon chirped, pouring herself a cup of coffee. “Coffee?”

“Please,” he grumbled. Even when he slept in, Rafael Barba was not a morning person. Devon grinned, pouring him a cup, and adding the appropriate amount of sugar that she knew he liked. She noticed, somewhere deep down, that she liked their almost…domestic tendencies. It made sense, with how much time they spent together, but it was still nice to have these little shared things. It was like his home was hers’, too. Which was comforting. And absolutely terrifying.

“Here you go,” she said, passing him the hot liquid. He gratefully took a deep pull, letting the caffeine waken him. He went to the fridge, pulling out an assortment of vegetables and a carton of eggs. He set about making breakfast, an omelet with sautéed vegies; Devon hovered in the kitchen, but her attention was on her laptop, still researching.

“So, what time were you up today?” Barba asked casually.

“Uh, 5am?” Devon replied.

Barba shot her a look. “I thought we agreed to sleep in today. Why were you up so early?”

“I—I’m always up at 5. I have an internal clock, wakes me up,” she explained.

“Everyday?”

“Correction, almost always. Sometimes I’m up at 4.”

Barba looked shocked first, then concerned. “We go to bed so late; why the hell do you wake up so early? And how the hell are you so perky in the morning?”

Devon thought about it. “I’ve been waking up before the sun for a while, now, couple years, actually. Guess it’s just habit.” She gave him a playful smile. “The perkiness is all me, baby.”

Barba ignored the joke, all serious. “Years? That cannot be healthy. Have you talked to anyone about this?”

Devon took a sip of coffee, swirled it in her mouth before swallowing. “After doing a UC, it’s mandatory to talk to a therapist. So yes, I did ‘talk to someone’ about it…. Especially because it seemed to start a week into that assignment.” Barba flipped the omelet he was making. It looked like he was going to question further, so Devon cut him off. “Yes, both my therapist and I believe that it’s from stress. I—I think I’m just…” she took a deep breath; saying it out loud was acknowledging it. But it was also good to get it out of her mind. “I’m just afraid; my brain needs to be on alert at all times. I know it sounds silly, but people like you—victims--deserve to have 24/7 protection, but I can only give you 20 at most. I’m a light sleeper; anyone breaking in and I’ll hear it. But I don’t think that’s really good enough; it leaves at least 4 hours where you’re open, exposed, especially with the fire escape in your room.” Barba took the omelet out of the pan, placing it skillfully on a plate, and passing it to Devon. She took it gratefully, blowing on it before taking a bite. It was delicious. Is there anything he can’t do?

Barba sighed as he went back to the pan, starting on his own food. “Devon, I know that no one wants to hear it, but you are human. No one, including you, can stay awake and alert 24/7. Hell, even 20/7 is insane. I’m glad that this whole mess is almost over.” He flinched inwardly as soon as the words left his mouth. And the look on Devon’s face was a punch to the gut; it was only there for a split second before she went back to a neutral expression. But he felt it, too; as much as he would like life to go back to normal, he really didn’t want to lose her, lose this. Not yet.

“It will be nice to sleep in my own bed again,” Devon joked, though her voice fell a little flat. She knew that it was inevitable; she’d have to leave him eventually, go on with her work and life. But she really, really, didn’t want to think about that. She was disappointed that he was already there in his thoughts, that he was wishing for it.

Barba finished cooking his own food, standing at the counter next to Devon. They ate in relative silence, besides complimenting each other on the food and coffee, and idly talking about heading to the park afterwards.

“Oh shit, I need to call Liv,” Devon said, pulling her phone out of her pocket. Olivia picked up on the second ring.

“Hey Dev, everything alright?” she asked.

Devon chuckled, shaking her head. “Of course. Just wanted to let you know that Barba and I were going to Central Park for a little. Get some fresh air after the mess from the past couple days.”

“Are you sure that’s wise? You don’t think that you’ll be sitting ducks?”

“There’s only 12 Aces left, and I think after what happened with Marco, we should be good.” Devon waited a moment before adding on, “I’ll be armed, we’ll be safe.”

Liv sighed. “For one thing, I forgot to text you last night; we caught 5 more Aces in a raid last night. So now the magic number is 7. And second, I’ll station some extra unis in the park, just to be sure. The remaining members may be getting desperate, since there’s not many left.”

“That’s good to know. I’ll let Barba know, and I’ll keep my eyes open,” Devon replied. She hung up, then, and relayed the information to Barba.

“Hm, SVU must be busy; Liv doesn’t normally forget to inform us like that,” he said.

Devon agreed. “We can always stop by later today, see what’s up.” Barba nodded.

They finished their food quickly, suddenly eager to get out into fresh air. Barba’s loft was only two blocks from Central Park, so it was a short walk there, but before they even hit the park, they were already more relaxed, basking in the warm, sunny day. There’s something about getting out of the house, even for a simple walk, that was refreshing. It seemed like the tension, the heaviness, from the last two days lifted, and they joked and laughed, conversation flowing easily. They made it to a trail that went by the water, and just enjoyed each other’s presence. They talked about nothing, really, just idle small talk. Devon did surreptitiously watch every person within eyesight; she saw at least 6 cops the first ten minutes there, two on bikes and the rest on foot. But no one looked suspicious, only suburban moms with their strollers, joggers, couples walking through the park. They wandered the trail for about an hour, slowly getting closer together, though neither of them noticed. It wasn’t until Devon’s hand brushed against his that they realized how close they were. They stopped walking, half turning to each other, Devon’s cheeks flushing, an apology on her tongue. Barba opened his mouth to say something, but he was interrupted by a woman screaming.

Devon was a flurry of movement, embarrassment from the simple touch forgotten. Her first instinct was to shove Barba behind her, turning towards the noise. It took a moment for the woman’s words to process in her adrenaline-clogged brain.

“Help! He stole my purse!” she yelled, pointing. A man dressed like a burglar from a shitty movie, complete with loose jeans, a black hoodie with the hood pulled up, and dark sunglasses, was running on the path that Devon and Barba were currently on, a tan purse clutched in his hand. As the man tried to push passed them, Barba stuck out his leg. The man got caught on his foot and went down, slamming into the ground, glasses flying off his face.

“Great reflexes,” Devon said, jokingly, giving him a half-grin. She knelt down, grabbing his hands and pulling them behind his back. “Senior Special Agent Motely, FBI,” she informed the man. She grabbed the purse from his clutches and handed it to Barba.

“Did you doubt me?” Barba smirked back. He took the purse, looking towards the woman who had alerted them. She was on her way over, as well as the two bike cops. Barba handed over the purse, and Devon let the unis cuff the man. Devon noticed Barba’s hands were shaking; he must still be feeling anxious from the past couple days for this small action to affect him so.

“Come on,” Devon said, giving him a soft smile. She took Barba’s shaking hand, ignoring the jolt of electricity she felt from touching his burning skin, and led him away from the scene at a slow jog. She was hoping that a short jog would burn off the extra energy coursing through both of their veins. She led him out of the park and towards a small café across the street; one of her favorite spots.

“That was…surprisingly fun,” Barba chuckled, trying to catch his breath. Devon laughed with him; at least he had stopped shaking.

“Oh no, please stay as a lawyer. Don’t switch to cop,” Devon replied, feigning concern at his life choices.

“Why not? Afraid that I’d take your job?”

“No, but I think the power would go to your already inflated head.”

Barba scoffed as if offended. “Don’t lie; I’d outrank you in a week.”

“And there’s that ego I mentioned.” They chuckled, before a waitress came out to them. They both ordered a coffee—Devon got a pastry, too--and resigned to people watching while they waited for her to come back.

“To be honest, though, I am glad that we were able to help that woman out,” Devon said.

Barba agreed. “We got lucky that he ran towards the two people in the park that could help her.”

“That’s a little rude to the cops working in the park.”

Barba smirked. “But am I wrong?”

“Not at all,” she replied. Their coffee and food came just then, and they sat in silence, drinking and sharing the pastry. Devon broke the silence. “Today’s been really fun. I’m glad we decided to do this.”

“Me too. It’s nice getting out of the loft every now and again. To not worry about cases, files, rapes, murders, and traffickers.”

Devon nodded. “It does get…taxing, after a while. You have to find a balance in this line of work. It’s not always enough to just go home at the end of the day.”

Barba thought about what he wanted to say, how he wanted to say it. “I—I couldn’t imagine doing what you do. At least I get to go home at the end of the day. You just finished a three-year undercover op before this; you didn’t even get to go home. You didn’t get to talk to friends, hell you didn’t even have your own name. That sounds like a type of torture. And now, you still don’t get to go home.”

“At least I have some good company,” she smiled at him. She took a small bite of her pastry, then continued, “sometimes, it feels like torture. But you have to get so into your character, your fabricated life. You have to be invested in your fake job, fake friends, fake relationships. Sometimes, none of those things feel fake anymore. It’s just life…. I’ve learned that you need to have something, anything, that can pull you back to your real life.”

“What…what did you have?”

Devon’s cheeks turned red, though she tried to hide it by drinking her coffee. “You, uh, you got to promise me you will not tell a soul,” she said after putting her coffee down. She locked eyes with him. “I’m serious; no one must know of this, especially Olivia.”

Barba kept his face neutral, trying not to smile at how flustered Devon got, how cute she was when her face got all red like that. Was it really that bad? “Okay, I promise.”

Devon took a deep breath, let it out. Then she reached into her pocket, pulling out her phone. She popped the case off, pulling something out. In her hand was a small square of what looked like folded paper. She went about unfolding it, and Barba realized it wasn’t a piece of paper, but a photo. It was so worn, so creased, that it was obvious how often she had needed to look at it during her time undercover. Once unfolded, she handed it to Barba, looking away sheepishly, sipping at her coffee.

The picture was faded, even though it was timestamped as only four years ago. It was a snapshot of what looked like a fun night in a dark bar. Devon was on the left, wearing a plastic top hat that read “Happy New Year’s! 2010” and with a drink in hand. She looked like she was laughing in the picture. Hanging on her, arm wrapped around the people on either side of her, was Olivia. It looked like she was trying to have them hold her up, but her face showed that it wasn’t happening. The photographer must have gotten her mid-fall—her mouth was open in a comical “O” shape. Barba only knew the man on the right because Olivia had showed her pictures before; his name was Elliot Stabler, Liv’s old partner. He wore a hat matching Devon’s, and it looked like Olivia was taking him down with her. His mouth was open in surprise, though a smile tugged at the corners. It was a great picture of three friends enjoying the start of the new year. Barba hated that he felt a pang of loneliness and jealousy looking at it. He looked up from the picture to find Devon watching him, cheeks still red.

“That was the first time since my childhood that I had celebrated my birthday; that I even had friends to celebrate with,” Devon explained, taking the photo back and gazing at it lovingly.

“Your birthday is New Year’s Eve?”

“Day, actually,” she corrected. She took one last look, then folded it up, stuffing it back into the phone case, popping it back on and replacing it in her pocket.

Barba wasn’t quite sure what to say. He was glad she had people to celebrate with, but also felt sad that it took her so long to find that kind of acceptance in her life. “Thank you for sharing that with me,” he said softly. There was nothing else to say. He was touched that she had opened up to him, had shown him something so personal.

Like in the park, they were both so enraptured in their thoughts that they stopped paying attention to their surroundings, especially their body language. They both had the same, stupid grin on their faces, as they stared into each other’s eyes. Barba had his hand on the table between them, and Devon didn’t even realize that she had placed hers on top of it. They were slowly leaning closer to each other, lost in the depths of their eyes, the closeness that they felt. Thinking about how today was a perfect date, yet neither would admit to the other that it even was one; it was just a walk in the park between friends. Sharing an intimate secret between friends. Holding hands, sharing a pastry, leaning closer, heads tilting, eyes closing…as friends….

Devon’s phone started ringing loudly, and they both jumped back, ripping their hands off the table. Devon fished her phone back out of her pocket, heart beating wildly. What just happened?

Barba looked flushed and a little…disappointed, grabbing his coffee and taking a sip, adverting his eyes. Devon looked at her phone screen, seeing her boss’s name lighting up across it.

“Uh oh…” she mumbled before answering. “Motely.”

“Is there a reason that NYPD’s Internal Affairs just handed me a file on you shooting a man two days ago?” Jenkins asked. He wasn’t angry; he just sounded tired.

Shit. “Oh, I meant to call you about that, sir,” Devon replied, heart still pounding. Her mind was going a mile a minute, stuck between thoughts of shooting Marco, IAB, and almost, maybe, about to kiss a certain counselor who was still avoiding her eyes. “You see, it’s a long story….”

“Well, you’d better come in and explain it to me, then.”

Devon looked to Barba, sipping innocently at his coffee. How much coffee does he still have? “Uh, permission to bring a civilian?” He finally looked at her at that, brow furrowed.

Jenkins sighed; he knew better than to ask questions. “Granted. Get here. Now.” And with that, he hung up.

Devon slowly put her phone down. She looked deeply into Barba’s green eyes. “Ever wanted to go to the FBI Headquarters?”

FBI Headquarters

Saturday, May 2nd. 12:37pm

Devon led Barba into the elevator leading to her boss’s office, his visitor badge bouncing off his chest.

“This is not what I had planned today when we agreed on a day off,” he mumbled, the doors closing behind them. Devon smirked.

“Sorry about this. I could’ve left you with a detective, if you really wanted. Or you can go back to the lobby; one of the field agents can watch you.”

Barba scoffed. “I’m not a child for you to pass around.”

“Then stop complaining like one,” she replied. He glared at her, and she stuck her tongue out in response. The elevator doors dinged and opened, and Devon led him down the long hallway to Jenkins’s office.

“Come in,” he said before she even had a chance to knock. Barba gave her a look, eyebrows raised. She shrugged in a yeah, that’s normal way, then opened the door for him, following him in. Jenkins kept his office space neat, tidy; a desk with two monitors, a couple of full bookshelves, and a small conference table in the corner. Although he was the Assistant Director, in charge of multiple sectors of field agents, he still didn’t spend much time in his office, usually only resigning to the space at night or on weekends to do paperwork. Much like Olivia, he worked his way up from field agent, and his heart and mind were still out in the field. He had trouble sitting still for too long, and was often out of the office, running teams or even in the field himself as much as possible. Which was why everyone respected him, whether they liked him or not.

“Counselor,” Jenkins said in his deep voice, nodding to Barba, before turning back to Devon. “Motely, report.”

Devon took a deep breath, then filled him in on everything that had happened since the end of January, starting from the night she met Barba, to talking to Olivia, to accepting the 24/7 protection of the ADA. “I honestly didn’t think it would be this…extensive,” Devon finished, lacking a better word. It was true, though; she knew what 24/7 protection was like, but she had only ever done it for a weekend at most. Never for months at a time. And though she knew that there was the chance of it lasting longer than she thought, it was different talking about it and actually doing it.

“So, this shooting of Marco Sorrel was in defense of Mr. Barba here,” Jenkins replied, looking at the case file from IAB.

“Yes sir.”

“And this protection order is still in effect? That’s why you brought him here, I take it?”

“Yes sir.” Devon felt Barba tense next to her; she had almost forgot he was there. He had said nothing since coming into the office. He knew when to bite his tongue.

“For how much longer? I need my top agent back to work.”

That knocked the wind out of Devon’s sails. It was the confirmation that after this was over, she would be going right back to work for the FBI. She wasn’t surprised, but it did solidify her resolve; she could not have a relationship with Barba, regardless of their feelings. She basically already told him as much that one day they talked a little too loosely about relationships.

“To my knowledge, there’s only 7 more Aces active in the city. Once they’re arrested, and the hit on Barba is off, I’ll be cleared for work again, sir,” Devon informed him.

Jenkins smirked. “Only 7? Tell that SVU Sergeant that I’ll make sure it’s taken care of before the weekend is over. I want to see you here, bright and early, on Monday morning; there’s a sex-trafficking ring I need you in on.”

Devon felt her stomach drop, her world crumbling. But she kept her face neutral, her voice steady. “Y-yes sir,” she said. Hearing the dismissal in his voice, she turned, Barba following suit, and left the office.

Apartment of Rafael Barba

Saturday, May 2nd. 3:05pm

“So, are we going to talk about it?” Barba finally asked from the kitchen. They both had been silent leaving the Bureau, and even more distant on the ride back to Barba’s loft. They tried small talk, but it sizzled out after a couple words. They both resigned to doing their own thing; Devon researching on her laptop, Barba doing the dishes from breakfast.

“Talk about what?” Devon replied, but she knew. Of course, she did. But she wanted to hear him say it.

Barba sighed, turning off the water. He placed the last pan on the drying rack, drying his hands off before coming to stand in the doorway. “Let’s be adults about this. Please. You know what,” when Devon stayed silent, Barba continued, “about what happened, well, what almost happened at the café. About the fact that you’re going to be leaving soon. About…about where that leaves us.”

Devon’s heart fluttered when he said “us.” God, she wanted there to be an “us” so damn badly. But she couldn’t force herself to take that leap, to fully commit to him. How could she, when both of their schedules were so busy, so crazy? Jenkins said it himself; she was about to go right back into the field. She could be gone for months, years at a time. She could be hurt or worse. How could she possibly hurt Barba like that, put him through that?

“The café was a mistake,” she said as flatly as she could. She stared at his chest, not able to make eye contact with him. “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea, Rafael, but there isn’t an ‘us.’ This is a job, and once it’s over, I’m back to working with the Bureau.” Devon was glad that there were no tears in her eyes; her years of training, of becoming personas were coming in handy, even if her own heart was breaking at her words. She dared a glance into Barba’s face.

He was crestfallen, his face falling. He had been sure, was positive, that she had felt the same way about him. Especially when they brushed hands in the park, when they almost kissed in the café. It took him weeks and weeks to build up the courage to make a move, and when her hand had enveloped his at that table, he knew that that was his moment. Then that damned phone call happened. And then, that damned meeting with her boss! And now she was going to leave him, by tomorrow if her boss was correct. That’s why he had to tell her, he had to know if she had felt the same.

“I thought you said that we were friends. That you cared about me,” he said softly. God, he sounded desperate, pathetic, even to himself.

Devon’s eyes softened, if only for a moment. “You are, and I do. But Barbs, we can’t be any more than that. You know that, right?” Her resolve was shaking under his intense stare. She could see him caving in on himself, his shoulders slumping slightly, his head falling, knees bending. His whole body language just screamed defeated. And she was the one delivering the blows.

He took a deep breath, stiffening his spine, raising his head; the prosecutor heading into a losing battle. “You’re right. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be putting you in this kind of situation. Forget I mentioned it.” With that, he made his way down the hallway and into his room, closing his door softly behind him. Devon opened her mouth but couldn’t think of anything to say.

Great, she thought. There goes that friendship. Maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing, though; it made things a little less awkward. And it made her leaving easier. Plus, it’d be just like one of her many one-night stands anyways. No attachments: just cut all ties when she left. And leave the broken pieces of her heart behind.

As if the timing couldn’t be more perfect, Devon got an incoming call, from Olivia.

“Motely,” she answered, trying to sound professional.

“Devon! Great news: all the Aces have been rounded up and delivered to the NYPD. Did you call in the Feds to help?” Olivia asked.

Devon smiled grimly. “No, but my boss did offer his assistance after getting IAB’s report.”

“Well, he certainly assisted. Also, I just got a report that said that an hour ago, the Aces in Rikers got in a fight with the 32nd street gang in the prison courtyard. Jorge Ramirez was killed in the scuffle,” Olivia paused, letting her words sink in. “To our knowledge, the hit on Barba has been called off; you can go home, now.”

Devon sat in silence, trying to figure out what the hell the bombardment of emotions she felt was; it was all too much, too quickly. “Devon? You there?” she heard Liv say.

“Yeah, yeah sorry, I’m here. That’s…that’s great news, Liv. I’ll be sure to tell Barbs; I’m sure he’ll be relieved.”

They talked for a few more minutes before Devon made an excuse to hang up, citing the fact that she needed to pack and go grocery shopping before heading home. She sighed heavily, rubbing her hands over her face, but she stood and started collecting her small number of possessions.

“It’s done, isn’t it?” a voice came from down the hallway. Devon stopped, but didn’t turn to look.

“Yes; all the Aces have been arrested. Plus, Ramirez was shanked in a prison fight, so the hit’s been called off,” she turned to look at the man now, “congratulations, Barbs. You’re no longer a marked man.”

The door to his bedroom was wide open and Barba was leaning casually against the doorframe. Well, as casually as he could; his body was tight with tension, as much as he tried to hide it, and if Devon looked closely, she could see a small red ring around his eyes. He gave a stiff nod, peeling himself off the doorframe and coming out into the living room. Devon finished packing her things, zipping up her grip and slinging it over her shoulder. She felt a slew of emotions run through her; she needed to get out of there, but she was rooted to the spot.

“When will I see you again?” Barba murmured. It was barely a whisper, so quiet that it was hard to tell if he actually said it, or if Devon imagined it.

She gave him a soft smile, one that didn’t reach her eyes. “I’m sure we’ll end up working on a case together at some point…I do help SVU from time to time,” she replied quietly. He gave her another stiff nod, not trusting himself to speak. She no longer trusted her own voice, and turned away, unable to look at his face anymore. She felt tears spring to her eyes, and she blinked them away rapidly, swallowing past the lump in her throat. Devon made her way to the front door, unlocking it, opening it slowly.

“Wait,” Barba finally choked out. Devon froze at the door, one foot already in the hallway. She looked over her shoulder at him, eyes softening for a moment. His mouth opened and closed a couple times, but no sound came out.

She gave him a small smile. “Stay safe,” she whispered, and then she was gone.

*********************

Devon didn’t go straight home. It was still early in the evening; the sun still hadn’t set, and it was still warm out. She also didn’t call a cab; instead opting to simply wander the streets, the grip slung over her shoulder soon forgotten as her mind, too, began to wander. She made it a full block before the tears began to flow, slowly at first, but then soon falling freely. She let them, ignoring the stares from strangers she walked by. It was good to let it all out, especially here, outdoors, rather than in her own space. She did wander in the general direction of her apartment—she lived about a 30-minute walk from Barba’s loft—and she took her time, weaving in and out of the streets. Finally, with the sun setting, and her shoulder growing sore from the weight, she made her way home.

*********************

Apartment of Devon Motely

Saturday, May 2nd. 7:35pm

After her undercover op in California, Devon had the cleaners from the FBI clean her place so that it wasn’t dusty or gross. This was not the case with the past three months with Barba; the place had obviously not been inhabited. Dust covered every surface, there was a weird smell that wasn’t there before, and it was stuffy. Devon sighed, having no motivation to clean anything, emotionally drained. She looked at the clock and sighed again, realizing she hadn’t eaten anything besides breakfast and the little pastry at the café by the park, right before everything fell apart. She should eat, but she didn’t feel hungry. She didn’t really feel anything right now except for emptiness…a longing, and a loneliness that she hadn’t felt in years.

She went to her room and checked her bed, sniffing the sheets. They smelled musty, and she knew she couldn’t sleep in that. She stripped the sheets and threw them on the floor in the corner; that was a tomorrow problem. She went to her closet and pulled out her back-up sheets but couldn’t bring herself to make the bed. Instead, she threw them on the bed in a heap and made her way to the kitchen. Hungry or not, she should eat something, especially if she planned on drinking—and she did plan on drinking; maybe it would help lessen some of the emptiness, though she knew, deep down, that that was a load of crap.

First things first, she looked in her liquor cabinet, finding some cheap whiskey. Fingers crossed, she looked in her fridge and, hallelujah, she found an unopened bottle of Coca Cola. She quickly made herself a strong drink, then took another look in the fridge. No food to be found. She checked her pantry next. A couple cans of soup and some long-expired rice. She winced, remembering that she had been gone for over three years now; she really needed to go grocery shopping tomorrow.

Sighing, she grabbed a box of instant rice and opened it. It wasn’t fuzzy or discolored, so she presumed it was fine. The alcohol she was drinking would kill anything in it, anyways. While waiting for the water to boil, she unpacked her grip, throwing the clothes in a laundry bin, plugging in her laptop, and taking out her toiletries, to be replaced with new ones tomorrow. She went back to the kitchen, grabbed a notepad, and started making a list of foods. Once done, she had a thought, and went to her supply closet. After checking the small amount of cleaners she had, she added ones she needed to the list too. She was on autopilot, thoughts blank, afraid to stop moving. Actions kept her thoughts at bay. Speaking of moving, she realized that she could finally go back to the gym tomorrow morning, something that she thought she’d be excited for, but in this state, it was a dull thought. She dreaded the pain she’d be in tomorrow—her little morning routine wasn’t intense enough to replace a gym workout—but knew it would be worth it in the end.

Satisfied with her list, Devon took her food and drink, then sat in her living room. She didn’t like how the apartment didn’t seem…familiar, not in the way she was used to, or how his had felt. Even with her work, she had lived in this apartment for about seven years now, and it was always a welcome relief coming home. Now, it was like a piece was missing. Suddenly, the silence was pushing in on her, deafening her. She lunged for the TV remote, turned on whatever sports station she could find, and sat there, picking at her rice as the announcers were droning on about…the Mets. It didn’t really matter what was on, as long as there was continuous talking, hence, sports.

It didn’t take long, though, before the monotone voices seemed to tune out of her consciousness. Devon finished her food and drink, went back to the kitchen to dispose of her dishes, and brought the whiskey and coke back to the couch with her. She quickly lost count of drinks, thinking more and more about, well, everything that happened the past couple months. She remembered the first night she had met the ADA, before she knew who he was. She thought about how he didn’t want her help at first, how he had told Olivia that he didn’t need her. How she had made a deal with him that she’d never bother him again afterwards.

She thought about those first few weeks together, about how they were awkward around each other, learning about each other. She thought about how fascinated she was the first time she watched him in court, the pride and awe the first time he won a conviction. She remembered how his eyes lit up, how he set his jaw when he ran through his arguments with her in his office. She remembered how his green eyes conveyed concern when she got stabbed in the shoulder. She remembered his little smirk when he found something amusing. She wondered when she noticed all these little things about him.

She was shocked when she felt the tears on her cheeks, didn’t notice them pooling in her eyes. So, what if she loved him? It wasn’t going to work; she knew that! She had to move on with her life, let him move on, too. He deserved someone who could love him with their whole heart, who could be there for him when he needed them. She couldn’t be that person; she was always on call, and it was never a guarantee that see would come home at night.

Devon let out a loud sniffle, trying to control her emotions. It was final; she would forget about Rafael Barba. She would get a good night sleep, clean her apartment tomorrow, and then go back to work on Monday. And that was that. She finished her drink, wiped the tears out of her eyes, then went to her room. She saw the sheets clumped on her bed and let out a frustrated scream.

#everyone deserves love #edl #rafael barba x oc #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic #everyone deserves love chapter 8 #edl ch 8 #fanfic #my writing #angst

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misha-moose-dean-burger-lover · 4 years

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POSITIVE 20 QUESTIONS TAG GAME

I was tagged by @peanutbutterandgrapejelly. Thank you for the tag, Peanut, this seems pretty loaded, but in a good way, so here goes!!

1. Name 4 fictional characters who showcase your personality the best, with explanations if you want.

Sue Heck! I don't think I let all of it out, but on the inside, I constantly feel like I'm extremely Sue Heck-y, :')

Amy Santiago, in a lot of regards, I'll say. Uh, cares a lot about her friends, ambitious, and would basically die/murder for organization, but also socially awkward and, uh, mostly percepted as a goody-two-shoes. Also, true nerd™.

Mindy Lahiri! (I mean, again, this seems more of a who I feel like I am, and not who I come across as, cause those two things tend to differ on a variety of levels?)

Sam Winchester (you know I had to) Basically, we're both INFJs. I'm not even close to his level, but my brain officially ran out of characters so uh, empathetic, constantly interpreted as "boring" and the "brains", patient, *yearns to settle down with someone they love*, believes in second chances. The whole nine, but toned down XD

2. Aesthetic:

I'd usually have a hard time with this one, but I recently did a long thing about my aesthetic, so! I'm going to say, soft pastel, beige, and shades of white!! A tinge of light academia, but mostly unassumingly modern, and faded rainbows as watermarks.

3. Favorite musical/play? If you've never seen a musical or play, one you'd be interested in seeing?

You got me ~ never seen any. (I mean, school plays don't count, right?) I honestly have a bunch of musicals I want to see, recommendations from friends online, but somehow it always slips my mind. But, off the top of my head, @spot-the-brooklyn-pirate wanted me to check this one out, and I am looking forward to actually doing it sometime: Book of Mormon.

4. What's the best compliment you've ever received?

Mostly, anyone who says I, in any way, made them happy, literally gives me the best compliment ever. And uh, my sister called me inspiring once, and it stuck. When I nagged her into elaborating, she said she thought I was functional in spite of all my flailings, and self-analytic, and it didn't make sense to me, but I still think about that.

And a few people, over the course of time, have named some of my fics as their favorites, and those stay with me for a very long time.

5. How many times have you been in love?

Hardly once. She's still one of the most important people in the world to me, but as somebody great once said, if you don't fight for it, it doesn't count. And we didn't.

6. Embarrassing story or fact about yourself which now makes you laugh?

By far the most embarrassing thing I've ever done, is written a fic on wattpad which revolved around my own life, except for the fact that it really, really didn't. Long story shortened, I was in sixth grade, and had a surface-level-y crush on this guy, and it seemed like a brilliant idea at the time. In the story, we're all in senior year, though the authoress forgot pretty much all the real things about school XD it's not just cringy, but also extremely sixth-grade-y written, and it astounds me to this day that it went on to have like 18,000 views? (I managed to block the entire shtick out, until a few months back, when I randomly remembered and rushed to unpublish the work. *facepalm* it even had all our real names)

7. Favorite Disney/Pixar movie?

This one's so hard. Uh. Ratatouille, maybe?

8. Favorite flower/plant?

I regret having to confess that I probably don't have one :( but hey, my go-to answer for these ones is daisies, because they remind me of the lovely @daisy-jeon <3

9. What's your favorite holiday?

Holi :')

(I miss it being like the older times, though? Somehow it always clashes with my final exams these last few years, and Shelley is often not home, but it still really makes me happy, so just imagine how perfect it used to be, when I was a kid!!)

10. Name three things that made you smile/laugh this past week.

Rewatching The French Mistake!! A really great decision, haha!

The lovely comments an older fic of mine received, (about old Destiel, uwu) since a couple of big blogs happened to reblog it 🙈🙈🙈 and my activity started blowing up!!

A full-blown coffee high, which resulted in me being hilarious through a 98-message monologue to dish, eeeeee!!

11. What song would you play to introduce yourself to someone?

I'd been dreading this question the most, because I'm horrible at remembering good songs when I - need to be. Oofsies.

But I guess I could wing it with 'What About Us' by P!nk.

12. Name something that truly makes you peaceful even at your most stressful moments.

Writing about Character A of a ship going through said stressful moment, and Character B being the best possible responder to all of it. Projection's the key to functionality, kids.

13. What do you, did you, or would you study at college?

Would you, and will you, sound unfortunately like different questions to me, so I'm going to answer the one which is asked. I'd like to major in History, with a minor in English. (And to be crude for a bit, as my sister calls it, thus successfully be left solely employable as a teacher.)

14. This is kind of a weird one, but which outfit of yours makes you feel most like yourself?

My black Avenger's logo t-shirt, with this pink hooded, kinda-down-past-my-hips, not-warm-at-all jacket and any one of my numerous, mwuahaha, grey shorts.

I never said I'd go out of the house in that outfit, did I?

15. What is a quote you live by?

I don't think there aren't any. I'm just here, faking it till I make it. Still, if I had to choose? Misha's "Be Kind to Yourself so You can be Happy enough to Be Kind to Others" is something I aspire to live by.

16. Name the funniest playlist name you have.

I'm sad that I don't have any funnily named ones now. Sorry to disappoint, but I'm hoping that it counts a teensy bit that I have like seven playlists just for background shtuff when I'm working, and they're all named *extremely* similarly, with variations of the word "study" basically, but all have exceptionally different vibes.

But I really am sorry, and I'm going to try and up my playlist-humor-game.

17. Make a reference to an inside joke you have with someone you love with zero context.

'Time for tapwater'.

18. What is a message you'd give your younger self if given a chance?

Don't build your sense of self-worth over the people whose opinions you think matter. You don't have to get everybody to like you. (Oh, and probably don't switch between multiple first-person-pov's, even though you're just writing the most unrealistic self-indulgent fiction EVER.)

19. Who is your favorite family member? (If you have no good blood family members, feel free to mention someone in your found family)

Hands down, my sister. Shelley, didi, @iamcharliebradburylevelperfect, you're like the best part of my life, and you're probably going to be the longest part of it, too. Cause we might not have the best record for funny titles to call each other by, but we still nail the cheesy till the end of the line moments, ;)

20. What's a secret dream of yours?

I, uh. Want to run a completely-revolutionalizing-the-concept-of-education-style school ~ a boarding school actually, with my best friend dish. And as a means to acquire funds for it? We're going to do a whole lotta stand-up. :D

(Oh, and since i've already rambled for at least a thousand words, so what's the harm in a few more? At some point, probably on my birthday, I want to do a YouTube livestream, a pre-planned one of course, and everybody I've ever been frens with, on this dumb, wholesome hellsite???? They're all sent an invitation to join!! And there's nothing to do, really, we just talk and everyone's enjoying themselves, and I dunno, I had a dream about this once, and I've been so ridiculously smitten with the idea since!

Huh, maybe I could rally forces starting now, to make this possible by my eighteenth!!)

If anyone would like to play, these are really awesome questions! @3dg310rdsupreme @mystybloo @thotfordean @bcozwhythefuknot @theninthdutchessofhell @awkward-penguin-in-a-trenchcoat @quicksilver-ships @all-or-nothing-baby @screamatthescreen @telefunkies @elvenlicht @facepalmmylifeu @specialagentrin @noemithenephilim @but-for-the-gods-three-days

#l o n g #long post #about me #i finally did it #stuff about me

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coffeeandcalligraphy · 4 years

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Paper Mouth, Opera Game, Beautiful Place | Writing Update

Hey People of Earth!

This is December 5th Rachel here to tell you this has been sitting in my drafts since the prehistoric era and we boutta update on three chapters of Moth Work *cracks knuckles*.

First, let’s start with chapter seven of the book, AKA Paper Mouth.

I wrote Paper Mouth back in August, and while I drafted it (over a few writing sprints), I was happy with it, but eventually realized I actually... didn’t like her, lol. Though objectively this chapter ain’t my fave, it does establish a very! important! thing! And that’s my shiny new gal, Eliza.

So, if anyone remembers from previous updates, I conceptualized most of MOTH WORK back in January when I was *stressed* at the end of a semester and needed a *break*. During this period of brainstorming where the whole photograph plot formed, I characterized a woman (the woman in the picture) who I knew would be central to the book. I knew I wanted to name her Eliza, I knew what she looked like, and had a loose backstory outlined for her, buuuuut… I started drifting from the photograph plot (it was only meant to be a booster) and without the photograph plot, I didn't have a reason to include her. So I thought I’d actually cut her involvement in the book way down from about 30-50% to 2%.

This changed however, when I added Lonan’s POV to the book (what I’m writing at the moment). Because I was in his head, I quickly realized how important finding this woman (someone who had a previous affair with his father [TEA]) would be to him.

This is how we end up at Paper Mouth!

The chapter is almost a direct continuation of the last, and starts out as follows:

Scene A:

Lonan makes a phone call to Eliza from a phone booth. They’ve never met, she like new phone who dis, but after an off-screen explanation, we jump into scene two.

Scene B:

This scene covers the two meeting for the first time outside of a diner. Lonan got dat brooding hoodie energy, and Eliza has tattoo-artist but also your mom friend energy, and we love the dynamic already! From here, she offers to buy Lonan a milkshake as an incentive to speak with him. Me too sis, me too.

Scene C:

They chat, until Lonan moves the conversation to his father. Things go downhill lol, Lonan gets overwhelmed and heads outside to leave, despite having no way home, but is followed by Eliza. They have a convo that gets heated about his father, tho this sort of veers off abruptly my bad.

I honestly don’t love anything enough to share from this chapter, so let’s move on to the next!

EDIT: y’all this is the second edit I’ve made in this post because guess who forgot chapter 8 existed.

Opera Game took me so long to write, I forgot it existed! I either started it at the end of August, or the beginning of September--it took so long I’m pretty sure I only finished it in November, lol.

Scene A:

We get more Lonan + Eliza time as Eliza pulls a Fostered book three and stitches up Lonan’s busted face

This goes wrong very quickly when Lonan keeps bringing up the fact that he thinks she’s spooked because he has his dead father’s (AKA her ex’s) eyes.

Scene B:

We have din din with Eliza + Lonan and she gifts him back his mother’s ring (at last, the OG plot) that she may or may not have had wrapped for months to give back to his dad (yikers). << this causes some minor problems lol

Scene C:

Lonan and Eliza share a cigarette on her apartment’s balcony. They’re supposed to be just friends but let’s just say apparently I cannot write those (see Darren and Reeve lmfaooo).

The end of this chapter was so fun to write. Take with that what you will! I put Nothing But Thieves’ cover of Love You Should’ve Come Over on repeat to write scene C. Take with that! What! You! Will! ;)

And now for excerpts! Sharing this because of the word guileless:

Eliza looks like a girl. She’s a girl with too many tattoos bartered for free in college, convenience store lipstick she bought from the clearance section, a haircut she found in her mother’s mail-order catalogue, rings hand-bent from an age 12+ kit. She cries like a girl, and sits like a girl and wipes her face like a girl, and he sees the same thing in her that he sees in himself—something guileless, something see-through.

I don’t usually share dialogue, but here is some dialogue from scene B:

“Should I have gotten something different?”

“This is fine.”

“They had chili chicken too. General Tso’s. I should’ve followed my gut.”

“This is fine.”

“There’s even an Italian place just a block over. I forgot about the Italian place.”

“This is fine, Eliza.”

And now, a very on brand excerpt ft. dead bodies:

He can’t remember why his mother died, or when, or why she’s more of a mother than his own mother. He only wants to visit her. Slip the ring back on her finger. She would smell like peaches, hibiscus, almost chlorinated, embalmed, absently pretty, not because she wasn’t beautiful, but because her body would be empty.

EDIT (again): hi y’all it’s been a month since I drafted this, and so here we go with yet another chapter update because I refuse to do schoolwork!

Beautiful Place is chapter nine of Moth Work, and is chock full of all the tea you’ve ever wanted! Watch Rachel take a pure friendship and make it *not* because that’s her #1 talent! Pure friendship? lol you THOUGHT.

I wrote this chapter over the course of my reading break. @sarahkelsiwrites and I went out to a coffee shop and did a few writing sprints, where a majority of this chapter was birthed.

After Opera Game, I was a bit stuck with this book. I needed a chapter that shoved Eliza and Lonan closer together, but couldn’t figure out exactly how to go about this. I’d semi established a semi friendship between Lonan and Eliza, but wasn’t fully understanding how they’d go from “lol ur my dad’s ex” to “buds? hi!” to “lol ur my ex” and I toyed around with a lot of ideas in my head before I accidentally stumbled into the scene that defines the entire chapter.

Scene A:

All you need to know is Lonan is chillin’ on Eliza’s couch, she’s making some good ol’ french toast, and then tells him she wants to take him to a “good place” and he’s like ok)

Scene B:

Eliza’s place is a cove she found a while back with someone I cannot name because of spoilers (just know that this definitely changes Lonan’s opinion of being there)

When he asks her about the person who she found the place with, she gets *shady*, he gets *extra*, there is *tea*

Here is an excerpt ft. my most overused verb: starbursting (why)!

“You like the beach?” Eliza turns off the car engine, checks her lipstick in the rear-view.

“Just the water.”

“But not the beach?”

“I like the water.”

They get out of the car together, and Eliza’s sundress catches in the rain. The cotton is patterned with palm leaves, birds the size of his pinkie, and it whirls around her in the wind. He doesn’t ask why the good place is the beachfront, or what’s so good about it. He doesn’t shake her hand off when she takes it and leads him toward the sand. Eliza moves around amber driftwood and rubbery kelp like this isn’t an obstacle course but a regular commute. Her hair blows out of her face, starbursting like a halo. She says something about coming here when the Vegas lights blocked the stars. That it’s magical at night, it’s intoxicating, it’s spellbinding, and all of these words remind him more of his sister than sand, than waves.

Here’s a description of the beautiful place ooooh:

The first thing he notices is the light. It’s only the sun reflecting off the stone, but he sees constellations, jittering like they’re both submerged in water. Bits of gold catch in Eliza’s hair and the peaks of the waves, and it’s the cove he notices next. They stand in the centre of it, the stone arched over a spread of water, lapping inches from their feet. It’s like being enclosed in a snowglobe, a private hemisphere of light, water, stone, sand. A resurrection.

And here lies tea:

Eliza is spreading out a picnic blanket while Lonan kneels toward the water. He punctures the current, and lets it stream between his fingers. Even in his hands, the water is gold.

“A friend and I found it,” she says, as water drips into his palm, down his wrist. “I said it was magical.”

“Was it my father?” he picks up a clump of sand, lets it disintegrate back down.

When Eliza says nothing, he turns back to look at her. She’s rummaging through the picnic basket, humming something under her breath, fixing the corner of the blanket.

“Eliza?”

She looks at him, and then back down, glasses clinking. She pulls out two jars—one orange, one pink. “Which do you prefer—marmalade or strawberry?” She digs through the basket, pulls out another jar, olive coloured, speckled with reds, yellows. “Or tapenade?”

“Eliza,” he says, wringing out his hand as he rises. “Was it my father?”

“I brought red wine, too. Do you drink?”

Lonan approaches, and crouches at the edge of the picnic basket. He plays with the hem, smooths his fingers over the metallic underbelly, the fleecy plaid pattern on the good side.

When she pulls out the wine bottle, he reaches over and places his hand on the neck. Their fingers brush when he secures his palm around it. When she doesn’t look at him, he moves his hand over until it covers hers.

“The friend you found this place with,” he says. “Was that my father?”

Eliza tightens her grip around the wine bottle and pulls it back, placing it into the picnic basket. Her sigh trembles, vibrato like a flute, an opera singer. She smooths her hair back, once, twice. “It’s shiraz. My mother sent it from Italy.”

And at last, I call this: Kind of A Wild Thing to Do But Pop Off I Guess:

On her pulse sits a tattoo of a single crow’s eye, and Lonan traces it with the tip of his fingernail. He touches down, to the dagger following the vein on her forearm, and when he reaches the golden cherub an inch from her elbow, leans down and kisses its head.

Aaaand, what a fun way to end this update!

I’m not sure if I’ll get another update up before the new year, but let’s cross our fingers! If not, here’s to 2020! Let’s finish these books y’all.

--Rachel

#writing #amwriting #writeblr #writerblr #mothwork #writingupdates #fostered

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thewakingcloak · 5 years

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ProtoDungeon: Episode II

(Quasi)Daily Updates Thus Far

Hey all!

ProtoDungeon Episode II (TWC prequel) is coming along nicely, and I’m building out a lot of vital systems for it, future episodes, and The Waking Cloak. I also began a sort-of-daily update on the Discord server that I’ve been meaning to post here but keep forgetting to because I am a scattered, scattered person.

Anyway, uh, yeah, there are a lot of these, lol. I’ll try to post these more regularly in the future, but I hope this is fun and informative for those of you who like reading weirdly specific details about gamedev.

Daily Update - May 24, 2019

Summing up what I've already done before today: -Ring mechanics are done -Day, night, and light sensors are done (though don't have any art) -Created an object that will switch day/night

Today: - Reworking my "interaction" code so that you stop walking after interacting with something during the walk state.

Daily Update - May 25, 2019 -Finally resolved the "interact" code by adding a new player state. Now the player actually stops when interacting with objects instead of just walking into them the whole time. -Fixed a small bug where dialogue boxes would show up with the first message already "fast-forwarded" to the end with no sound. -Started working on polishing up the day/night switcher object (this is what the interact code was for). Should be important in this dungeon since the player won't have the cloak!

Daily Update - May 26, 2019 -I tend to take Sundays easy. I worked on a bed sprite for like ten minutes though!

Daily Update - May 27, 2019 -Added the ring and its upgrades to the test room! We're now technically ready for super early patron alpha testing, which I'll put up sometime in the secret patron channel in the next few days!

Daily Update - May 28, 2019 -Set up the Itch build for pre-alpha patron testing -Worked on figuring out how to clarify the day/night and ring mechanics, visually -Began sketching out dungeon layout, now that I have mechanics set (as opposed to Episode I where I had to retrofit my design a few times after it was mostly done).

Daily Update - May 30, 2019 -Finished the rough draft of the dungeon layout!!!

Daily Update - May 31, 2019 -Finished the second draft of the dungeon map, including several more detailed rooms with puzzle designs

Daily Update - June 1, 2019 - Finished the THIRD draft of the dungeon map, think I've finally got the layout and puzzle locations pretty much settled (it's been a toughie with day/night/dayshift/nightshift)

Daily Update - June 3, 2019 -Updated level 2 of the Ring of Starlight to generate two blocks instead of one block with a dayshift/nightshift effect. This is like what was originally level 3, except the blocks will move in sync with each other -Changed the ring upgrade descriptions. I'm going to try for a more lore-based, somewhat poetic approach for these over a mechanical explanation. (Level 3 is obviously a temporary description) -Pushed the build up to Itch as v0.3.0

For those of you who have access to the pre-alpha and are using the Itch client, updating should be very easy! However, since something got renamed somewhere along the line, you will most likely have to remove the previous version of the game if you don't want it to ask you to select your version when launching the game. I don't think this will happen again... probably. :) I'm still working on the level 3 mechanic, also.

Daily Update - June 5, 2019 -Decided on new lvl3 of the ring -Fixed blocks so they now fall into pits. Long live the king. -Updated Itch app to v0.3.1

Daily Update - June 7, 2019 -Added level 3 of the ring. -Fixed a bug where pushable blocks couldn't be pushed. You had one job, pushable blocks. -Fixed a bug where the player wouldn't fall into a pit after swapping with something that's over the pit. -Fixed a bug where the synced level 2 ring block would not collide with objects when starting from "rest".

Daily Update - June 8, 2019 -Fixed bug where the dialogue box would crash sometimes. I fixed this bug before. I don't know why it came back. The code I used to fix it was gone. Will keep an eye on this code to see if it disappears again. -Updated HUD to display ring and ring level instead of scroll and swap spell level. -Fixed the controls. Space was mapped to both item "A" and item "B", and apparently it doesn't work that way when the item isn't mapped to both slots :P -Fixed a bug where the game would be very, very tiny if it was not in focus when starting in fullscreen mode. I commented out a line of code when updating the application surface resizing and forgot to uncomment it. -Updated v0.3.9 to Itch -Started work on the next draft of the dungeon sketch now that the ring mechanic has been finalized wooooo

Daily Update - June 12, 2019 -Competed new draft of the dungeon, pretty happy with this one. I'll just need to work in the puzzles and make sure the dungeon graph (a la GMTK Boss Keys) works out so players can't get stuck. -Fixed an issue where you could push blocks past the edge of the screen (and a related one where when you tried to do that, you would keep moving through the block while the block stayed still). -Fixed an issue where you could create blocks on top of each other.

Daily Update - June 14, 2019 -Started working on Tiled draft of dungeon -Began experimenting with larger default room sizes. One aspect I liked from Blossom Tales. Still keeping rooms, of course, since that's what counterintuitively makes an overworld feel big, but bumping up their width/height by about 50% each makes them feel that much larger and explorationy. -Updated test room to new room size. -Uploaded v0.3.12 to Itch, which includes the new room size, as well as the fixed bugs from the June 12 daily update

Daily Update - June 16, 2019 -Continued working on Tiled draft of dungeon. Slow work at this stage, but I believe the overall layout is complete. -Started laying out my sticky note version of the dungeon and puzzles. Lots has changed since last time I built puzzles for this dungeon, so reworking it has been fun.

Trying to decide whether the blocks should stay put when you move out the room, or disappear like the Cane of Somaria. Persistent blocks would make for some interesting puzzles.

Also trying to decide how the overworld will map down to the dungeon, since some of the dungeon rooms are a bit small and constrained. I'd like them to line up. Might still make them the same size as the overworld rooms, just with long connecting bits.

Daily Update - June 18, 2019 -Puzzle design is done! -Tiled map draft is coming along much faster now that I know what to fill the rooms with. Already making tweaks to the puzzles (and I'll certainly make more tweaks when building in GameMaker, just how it goes)

Daily Update - June 19, 2019 -Tiled map draft is almost done! Getting verrrry close now.

Daily Update - June 21, 2019 -Tiled map draft is COMPLETE!!!

Daily Update - June 23, 2019 -The actual dungeon in GameMaker is underway and making quick progress. Already improving on the Tiled map, I think! Could be done with the graybox and have it playable for patrons by the end of the week--stay tuned. Lemony Snicket voice "Graybox" here means "with crappy programmer art and white/black tiles"

Daily Update - June 24, 2019 -Made major headway on the dungeon in GameMaker. Very close to wrapping up the graybox tiles, and I've made a bunch of refinements to the existing layout and puzzles!

Daily Update - June 26, 2019 -Layout and graybox tiles are done -Colliders are done -Cliffs are done -Stairs are done -Pits are done -Item upgrades are placed -Some keys are placed -Buttons are placed (not hooked up yet)

Quasidaily Update - June 27, 2019 -Worked on hooking up buttons and bridges and simplified the lvl1 ring room (for me, should be about the same for the player)

Quasidaily Update - June 28, 2019 -Finished doors and hooked up buttons -Fixed various puzzles and rooms that weren't working correctly

Quasidaily Update - June 39, 2019 -Finished the ladder! -Finished bridge collision -Completed... the trap room -Hooked up the doors/buttons I missed (pretty easy to find since I use a red color blend on the offending buttons ingame) I... uh... am just gonna leave that as the 39th Very very close to alpha now, unless those two bugs end up just crushing me

Quasidaily Update - July 1, 2019 -Added day/night blocks -Added a missing teleporter (int/ext door) -Fixed one of the two softlocking bugs (in about 5 minutes)!

Remaining before patron alpha release: -Secret thing -Second bug -Verification that the dungeon is playable from start to finish

Quasidaily Update - July 2, 2019 -The second bug is technically fixed, but it's pretty janky and unpolished. I'll keep working on this tomorrow. -Cleaned up and optimized the block pushing check logic, which had all kinds of duplicate collision checks and wack timers being set all over the place

Quasidaily Update - July 3, 2019 -Finally fixed the second bug. This was a block syncing/pushing issue that would've prevented everyone from completing the dungeon -Began testing the dungeon's playability from beginning to end. Ran into a few more things I fixed: -Added a level 3 ring upgrade description since it actually does something now -Some bridges were missing pits under them, so you could walk across even if the bridge wasn't activated. -Discovered the level 1 and 2 ring blocks don't fall in pits anymore. Oops. Gotta fix this still. Quasidaily Update - July 3, 2019 PART 2 -The dungeon is playable from start to end (except you can't get in the final room yet, but that's a quick fix) -Hooked up MORE buttons/doors that I had missed -Replaced/moved the keys around--I think this will be much more satisfying now -Added the method to get to t h e s e c r e t Pretty pleased with it this time around--I think it's even more cryptic and fun to discover ehehehe "ehehehe" is to be read with a witch's voice

Quasidaily Update - July 4, 2019 -Tweaked t h e s e c r e t entrance ほほほ -Worked on t h e s e c r e t puzzles.... they're pretty devious お~~ほほほ

Quasidaily Update - July 5, 2019 -Fixed broken challenge puzzle. -Fixed bug with lv1 and lv2 ring mechanics--they weren't falling down pits anymore. That just makes this game way too easy. -Fixed a bug with lv3 ring blocks that was also breaking the challenge puzzle -Added some tiles to cover up my greybox "answers" -This wraps up all the changes for alpha. We'll go live with the alpha for patrons early tomorrow!

Quasidaily Update - July 6, 2019 -Released the patron alpha! Woohoo! Rali has been enjoying it at least/ -Released v0.4.2 update: -Fixed two unmarked pits. Kinda sucks to fall into the solid ground. -Game Over now resets only the player, not the entire game.

Quasidaily Update - July 7, 2019 -Released v0.4.4 update: -Added collision around water bridges so you can't walk on or get trapped on the water... -Removed a call to GMLive that may be causing a crash on the PlayerEquipmentRingState script.

Quasidaily Update - July 7, 2019 PART DOS Released v0.4.10 update: -Removed "You got a key!" text because... well, it should be obvious. -Do not freeze player on headstone moving. -Fix stutter when a level 0 equipped item is "used." -Made it so you can't push jars and blocks up stairs. They are TOO HEAVY. -Added an escape route to the challenge room so you don't have to throw yourself in a pit to get back to the start if you get stuck. It doubles as a "skip" for one of the puzzles once it has been opened. -Fixed challenge room exit so you don't get trapped. :)

Quasidaily Update - July 9, 2019 -Fixed colors on the east/west player "use ring" sprite so that the night palette shader doesn't miss it (meaning it would render her skin in the day palette) -Updated teleporters to use channel strings so I don't have to manually set the target coordinates for ALL THE TELEPORTERS AAAAAAAH. -Oh, and yeah, most importantly: released v0.5.0 update! Completed dungeon remodel!! It uses the build-a-final-key method like in Episode I. This allowed me to make the dungeon a bit less linear. It also meant I knocked down a wall or two, added another puzzle or two, and all around made something I'm much more satisfied with.

Quasidaily Update - July 10, 2019 Released v0.5.5 update! -Fixed a crash when attempting to push arrows (read: moving toward an arrow while it's trying to kill you). -Toned down the arrow knockback effect -Fixed awkward/slow interaction with arrows knocking you into pits -Shortened room respawn freeze time -Fixed a bug where the player could walk directly into the arrow and avoid taking damage. Pretty sure that's not how arrows work (this was related to the pushing bug above!).

Quasidaily Update - July 11, 2019 -Starting to place actual tiles over the greybox tiles and gosh it's nice to have real art.

Quasidaily Update - July 12, 2019 -Majority of the final tiles have been placed and it looks great. I still need to make a few interior wall sets and a handful of floor tiles. It really brings the dungeon to life

Quasidaily Update - July 14, 2019 -Released v0.6.0!!! I'm very excited about this one because it's the first of the graphics updates. The majority of the basic final tiles have been placed. There are more graphics updates to come (which you'll note if you play this version), but is the biggest of 'em. Looks great in day and night!

Quasidaily Update - July 15, 2019 -Added new one-way-jump wall tiles -Completed secret room tiles and decorations -Added lighter tall grass

Quasidaily Update - July 16, 2019 -Today was a writing day, mainly. I'd like to have the little snippets of dialogue and bookshelves and so on done in a day or two. It's exciting stuff, showing off the tips of all these icebergs. -Last night I pushed v0.6.4, an update that had lots of good graphics updates. Except I forgot to replace the player back at the start of the level after testing, so neipo had some fun times starting at the END of the level. Fixed and uploaded in v0.6.5!

More! -Uploaded v0.6.6 in which I fixed an arrow issue that I already fixed previously. Except, I had only fixed it for ProtoDungeon I. Which is why @neipo13 ran into it to my great confusion.

More!!! Uploaded v0.6.8: -Fixed one of the lvl3 ring puzzles so it didn't have a ridiculously easy solution (thanks for finding that, neipo). -Fixed description of round key.

Quasidaily Update - July 17, 2019 I intended to do some writing today, but I got more excited about something else.... sooooo, cue the upload of v0.6.13 - The Optimization Patch! - in which the average framerate on my dev laptop is now 260fps up from 120fps. -Moved the half-speed/GIF mode to only be available in debug mode (this was "G" on the keyboard, so people could just press it and not be sure why the game was running so badly). -Scott's [regular & mod on the server] lappy had major framerate issues running the game, so I did some optimization and found out the pits were accounting for 50% of the time of every single frame. The best part: they only needed to run the offending code ONCE. So I moved that code from the step event to a one-time event and voila, framerate is way more stable. -Turned off GMLive entirely and added an easy toggle for me. This is very useful during development, but it likes to make lots of calls when turned on. -Updated the "listener" step event, which was setting a blend mode every single step. In debugger mode, this is so that stuff like buttons and doors turn red if they're not hooked up. Otherwise it "unsets" the blend mode by setting it to -1 every single step (regardless of debug mode). Apparently this has some unexpected overhead, even if the blend mode is ALREADY -1. A quick and easy fix. -Swapped out the existing (non-moving) tombstone objects for different objects. Almost all of the tombstones were instances of the same object as the ones that move, but that came with a lot of additional overhead (my "listener" object still accounts for a lot of time because it's doing some checking with ds_lists every frame for every listener object; the moving tombstones have listeners, the normal tombstones do not). They're behaving themselves now.

Quasidaily Update - July 18, 2019 Uploaded v0.6.14! -Fixed up collision in the secret room -Finished secret room lore dialogue

There's still more writing to do for the headstones, bookshelves, and a certain NPC who isn't in the game yet, but yeah! Getting there!

Quasidaily Update - July 20, 2019 Over the last day or two, I've slowed down a lot--think I'm getting close to burning out, plus not certain I'm satisfied with the story implementation thus far in Episode II (am I too obscure? Revealing too much? Will people care? etc). That said, I've gotten some stuff done, and uploaded v0.6.19 -Fixed some borked collision near the hut (thanks for finding that, Rali) -Fixed tombstones so they could display text -Added text to various tombstones >:) (and bookshelves) -Fixed the interaction check so that you don't interact with objects to the north of you when facing to the east or west.

Today I switched gears and created a batch file that could compile an executable without even opening GameMaker!! This is actually pretty exciting. I could almost, at this point, switch completely to GMEdit, which is significantly faster and more intuitive tham GM workspaces. Oh, and the batch file also uploads the compiled exe to Itch

Quasidaily Update - July 20, 2019 I decided to switch gears again and work on the save game feature. Not done yet, but it IS saving the player/inventory objects, and I'm setting it up to be pretty easily able to take in any set of objects, auto-read all their variables, and set 'em.

Quasidaily Update - July 22, 2019 Been working on the ol' save system still. It's going well. I had to fight a bit with my camera system (like always lol), and now I'm making sure the ring blocks properly reset--currently they crash the game which isn't quite right...

The system as planned for PDII will essentially be an autosave that triggers on entrance of each room. When loading the game, all solved puzzles should remain solved, and ring blocks should remain in place, and you'll appear at the entrance of whatever room you exited the game from. At some point in a later episode I'll include slots and specific save points not unlike bonfires from Dark Souls

Quasidaily Update - July 23, 2019 Saving and Loading Continued Cleaned up the loading--it would snap you back to the load point and the camera had trouble keeping up. Now it's a nice, clean fade transition with no camera moving around.

What's left: -Properly saving blocks and other puzzle elements. Currently it, uh, duplicates them? So that's nice. -For some reason, the ring itself disappears when you reload the game -Need to set up the fadeout transition so it finishes before puzzle elements get reset and the time of day changes -Set up an autosave on room enter -You can actually get stuck in the first ring room by crossing a bridge and having that bridge disappear behind you, then quitting and loading your save. I'm trying to think of a good way to solve it now and in the future without making it easy to miss setting up something manually.

Quasidaily Update - July 25, 2019 Moar Savingz Ring blocks are finally managing their own order, and it's wayyyyy more stable and uses a ton less code than before. Previously, during the player's "use ring" state, it would call the inventory manager to update the order of the blocks, which it stored in two variables. It worked, but occasionally the order would get really weird and so on, plus it was going to be a nightmare for reloading. The problem is that the inventory manager was holding the ring block IDs in those two variables, and IDs are not guaranteed to be the same on re-run.

Solution: ring blocks get an integer variable that stores their order, called order. When a ring block is created, it tells the other block to update its order. If that order is already 2, destroy it. Simple, and easy to save since it's an int.

In a pre-quasidaily update today Daniel learns why his ring blocks aren't loading They are And then they're instantly destroying themselves Because of the code he wrote To tell them to destroy themselves Thank you

Quasidaily Update - July 26, 2019 Uploaded v0.6.22, possibly the final 0.6 version since saving is coming sooooooooooon. BUT. Here's what you guys get: -Fixed some more collisions near the hut (seriously, did I move that entire room over one tile somehow) -Allow jumping off ANY ledge (WOOO) -Fixed occasional crash when creating ring blocks

The save/load system is working also, but not available outside of debug mode yet! As far as I can tell everything is saving and loading properly as expected. There are a couple places you can save scum past, and I have a few ideas for handling those, but that probably won't be something I deal with for a bit. However, the player is not currently able to save or load (unless they're in debug mode, as mentioned), which leads me to the next major update I will be working on: M E N U S and O P T I O N S

Quasidaily Update - July 27, 2019 I'm 25 minutes through a 70 minute series by FriendlyCosmonaut on a menu system. This is a lot lol.

In the process, I did a little bit of reworking/cleaning on my controls system. I now have some global variables that hold all the currently configured controls, instead of hardcoding the controls into the input manager. This was in preparation to allow control remapping!

Quasidaily Update - July 30, 2019 Been quiet for a few days--hard at work on the new menu system. This one is a doozy, you guys. I haven't done this much straight code on the TWC "engine" since Episode I.... maybe even longer.

Finished the FriendlyCosmonaut series, which was a great foundation. Now I'm building off it (and trying to get tons of parts of it to actually work still). I'd ideally like to have it look a lot like the old mockup from my blog post on difficulty settings (many of those difficulty settings will not be used in ProtoDungeon or TWC).

Here's what I got so far. Still a lot of the FriendlyCosmonaut design in this, which is good, but doesn't quite fit with this game.

brightness/contrast do nothing, window actually works pretty well--unless you change the smoothing size, in which case it starts acting up...

vsync.... I think works? I haven't even tried toggling screenshake I want to use the "bouncing arrows" style from the mockup instead of color, fix the on/off to use arrows instead, fix the sliders so they use pixel arrows instead of drawn circles.... so much left to dooooo I just have to remember it was loading a black screen this morning

Quasidaily Update - August 7, 2019 Been alternating between taking breaks and working furiously on menu stuff, as you can see with screenshots.

Spending a lot of time on remapping. There's a lot to polish here, stuff you might not think about on first glance (What happens if a key is already mapped to another? Do you handle the menu not closing while you're remapping the menu key? Do you handle the menu so it doesn't navigate when mapping the back key? Do you include primary and secondary control sets, and if so, how do you display that clearly? Etc.)

Not all these questions have difficult answers, but they add up. So that's basically all I've been working on for the past week or so :)

Today I got the gamepad up and running and the secondary control set as well. I forgot how good it feels to play the game with a controller vs a keyboard. My wife happily exclaimed "You're playing with a controller!" :D

The secondary control set was a back and forth decision. The deciding factor was mainly wanting to ease the initial "time to start" for different players--so you can move with WASD and the arrow keys, or with the dpad and the stick. I have a pretty good idea how the UI will work for this too, so now that the gamepad is working, I'm gonna start on the secondary controls.

Quasidaily Update - August 11, 2019 -Primary and secondary gamepad button remapping are working -Got some cool new gamepad icons, improved thanks to Corvos -Fixed the menu so you couldn't close it on the menu page when starting the game -Added a second, ingame menu with resume/settings/save & quit as options -The new menu will pause all "actors" (objects with states) -Fixed a bug where the secondary gamepad right input was not mapped

Quasidaily Update - August 13, 2019 -"Defaults" option now works for keyboard and gamepad -Fixed an issue where you couldn't remap some of the secondary keyboard inputs (broke it with the gamepad remapping). -Fixed an issue with the menu arrow being in the wrong place (broke it with the gamepad remapping). -Removed light blue coloring on selected menu items. Judging by other menus, arrow seems to be enough by itself. -When remapping, the current selected control will now blink instead of remaining static. -Made sliders more usable--it wasn't really possible to move them 1% at a time, which was unwieldy and annoying. Now they have a "ramping" speed and are much easier to control.

Quasidaily Update - August 13, 2019, Part II -Toned down the strength of the brightness slider just a bit. -Updated the shaders to affect the GUI as well as the game. This should include the menu as well as the HUD, the dialogue box, and, in TWC, the inventory screen. I kinda like this. We'll see if it bothers people. :D

Quasidaily Update - August 17, 2019 -Fixed an issue with menu sliders not being drawn when the shader is applying to GUI elements. Turns out the built-in line drawing doesn't pass texture information to the shader. At this point I'm not sure how to configure the shader correctly, so I just made the lines into sprites instead lol. -Added title to the top-level menu! Yay! -Fixed game loading so it would load the correct room (both GameMaker room and in-game "area"). -Autosave the game on room entrance. -Autosave the game on getting an item (this way you can't cheese certain rooms). At this point, playing the game, quitting, and coming. back to continue is working REALLY WELL. -No longer save "region" (rooms in the game) objects, since these get created and setup perfectly fine on room creation. -Added SOME SECRETS YAY! -Autosave the game on "teleporting"--going through doors, up/down stairs, etc. -Fixed the "circle out" transition, which was apparently not working or used anywhere. -Changed all "teleportation" to use circle-in/circle-out transitions--a little less visually jarring and much nicer looking than a fade-to-wipe-from-center.

Quasidaily Update - August 19, 2019 -Added tiny pause in the middle of the teleportation transition so that it's a bit less jarring -Simultaneously, allowed toggle to camera easing so that I don't have to add fragile pauses to loading and certain transitions and so on (to wait for the camera to finish moving to catch up with the player loaded position). This fixed a small camera jerk when loading the game. This will eventually be an option on the menu for those that don't like the easing (and also because turning off subpixels makes camera easing REALLY BAD). -Fixed issue with audio groups not loading (by loading them, wow). This is probably temporary since next big task is to add the Wandersong audio engine, but the fix let me actually see my debug messages instead of spamming "Audio Group 2 is not loaded" whenever a sound is played lol. -Fixed bug with loading the game on a teleporter (doors, stairs, etc.) where it would immediately take you to the target location. This had multiple parts, but namely 1) just making sure to set the global "isLoading" flag and to not teleport during that, and 2) setting the "isLoading" flag earlier, since the teleporters were faster than my load manager lol. -Fixed "New Game" issue where it would fade to black, start the game, and then fade to black again. Turns out if you call "fade out" twice, it will fade out twice.

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