#and then i have another thing i promised myself i'd finish by the end of the week

[sunny44]

Marriage (Part 8)

Pairing: Max Verstappen x ex fiancée!reader Mason Mount x Fiancée!reader

Warnings: fights and that’s it

Summary: Max leaves his fiancée y/n at the altar on their wedding day but after years of regretting what he did, by a miracle of fate (or Lando) she appears in his life again.

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

I didn't have the courage to take the test.

It had been two days since the event, and I sat on the bed, staring at a pregnancy test kit, trying to gather the courage to use it.

Mason was at training, and despite being invited by Red Bull and wanting to avoid Max, Mason's media team insisted that attending the Monaco GP would be good for his image.

That was the reason for our trip.

I used the opportunity when I needed to pee and took the test. Once done, I put it back in the box and tossed it into my bedside table.

I spent the day working to distract myself. I only realized it was evening when I felt a kiss on my forehead.

"Been here all day?" he asked.

"Yeah, had a lot of work," I replied.

"Have you eaten?"

"I only noticed the time because you arrived," I said. He chuckled and kissed my forehead again.

"Well, then I'll get something for us to eat, and you stay right there."

I continued working until he left, only stopping when he returned and we had dinner.

After we finished, we went to the bedroom. I took a shower while he got ready to sleep.

"Love, can I borrow your charger? Can't find mine." he asked.

"Sure, it's in my bedside table, first drawer." I shouted back.

After drying my hair, doing my skincare and getting dressed, I went to the room. Mason was sitting on the bed with a paper in hand and a displeased expression.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Mind explaining what this is?" He stood up and practically threw the paper at me.

It was the letter.

I took a deep breath, realizing Mason had found the letter. The atmosphere in the room shifted, filled with unspoken tension.

"Mason, I..." I began, but he interrupted.

"Just explain what the hell this is." he insisted, eyes fixed on the letter.

I walked over, took the paper, and glanced at the content. I hadn't read it since he handed it to me. It probably contained words and apologies Max wanted me to know, and my heart raced.

"It's a letter." I stated the obvious, trying to buy time to gather my thoughts.

"I can see that." he replied with a touch of frustration. "But it's a letter apologizing and also a letter saying he still loves you."

Taking another deep breath, I decided to be honest.

"Max wrote this letter to me some time ago."

"How long ago?"

"Do you remember when I told you I became friends with Lando?" He nodded. "We hung out that time because he insisted on introducing me to his best friends that ended up being Max and Daniel."

"What does that have to do with the letter?" He asked, frustrated.

"After the party that he introduced us he talked to Lando about what happened. He made him help him meet me to apologize. So, he said he wrote this letter and handed it to me, but I didn't have the courage to open it."

"And why did you keep it?"

"I don't know. I thought maybe one day I'd have the courage to read it and that’s why I kept it. Perhaps I felt I needed a reminder of how things were before."

His expression changed from frustration to anger.

"You kept a letter from your ex in our house? Are you serious?"

"I was unsure what to do with it and couldn't bring myself to throw it away, so I kept it. It's a piece of the past I kept hidden."

"Why hide it, then? Why keep secrets from me?" Mason's frustration grew. "You lied again about this. Not long ago, you argued with me for defending you and then you do this, keeping his things."

"I thought I could handle it on my own. I didn't want to burden you with my past." I explained.

He sighed, clearly upset.

"Y/n, we promised transparency. Keeping something like this from me... hurts."

"I'm sorry, Mason. I should have told you about this and I know this now." I admitted, feeling a pang of guilt.

"But it's always going to be like this, isn't it? You lie to me about him, and it makes me think you still love him even after he left you at the altar like an idiot," he said angrily. "You were supposed to tell me about him years ago and then when I found out on the internet I’ve try to be cool with it because I saw how much it hurts you, even if I was angry that you e lied to me. And now this, im your fiancé and u was supposed to be the one you trust to tell me this things but apparently lying to me it’s easier for you.

“I’m sorry.”

“I honestly don't know if I can still do this."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't know if I can marry you." I felt tears fill my eyes. "I don't know if I can marry someone who lies to me."

"Mason, I..."

"I need some time." He left the room, leaving me there alone.

Bonus scene!

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“So much work that I’m starting to get crazy”

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#f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 x you #f1 #f1 instagram au #max verstappen one shot #max verstappen icons #max verstappen headcanons #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen wallpaper #max verstappen headers #max verstappen f1 #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen smut #max verstappen #max verstappen podcast #max verstappen instagram au #max verstappen angst #max verstappen au #max verstappen social media au #max verstappen series #max verstappen scenario #max verstappen drabble #max verstappen fanart #max verstappen fluff #max verstappen lockscreens #max verstappen x charles leclerc #max verstappen x daniel ricciardo #max verstappen x you

[poohsources]

🐝  *  ―  𝑰𝑻'𝑺 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝑨 𝑷𝑯𝑨𝑺𝑬, 𝑴𝑶𝑴. ( a random assortment of various lyrics from emo songs. feel free to change pronouns if needed. )

❛  i know you well enough to know you never loved me.  ❜ ❛  i am finished with you.  ❜ ❛  you were the last good thing about this part of town.  ❜ ❛  so don't go worrying about me, it's not like i think about you constantly.  ❜ ❛  do you feel like a man when you push her around? do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?  ❜ ❛  take back everything you ever said, you never meant a word for it.  ❜ ❛  i'm glad i didn't die before i met you.  ❜ ❛  say anything, but say what you mean.  ❜ ❛  what the hell is wrong with me? my friends say i should act my age.  ❜ ❛  it's no surprise to me, i am my own worst enemy.  ❜ ❛  i'm sick of the things i do when i'm nervous, like cleaning the oven or checking my tires or counting the number of tiles on the ceiling.  ❜ ❛  well, you treat me just like another stranger.  ❜ ❛  but i don't wanna feel a thing anymore.  ❜ ❛  doesn't it feel like your time is running out?  ❜ ❛  i don't blame you for being you but you can't blame me for hating it.  ❜ ❛  and up until now, i have sworn to myself that i'm content with loneliness.  ❜ ❛  i'll keep you my dirty little secret. don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret.  ❜ ❛  and all the times you promised me that everything would work out in the end, you were gravely mistaken.  ❜ ❛  thanks for the memories even though they weren't so great.  ❜ ❛  i never thought we'd make it out alive.  ❜ ❛  i know somewhere, somehow we'll be together.  ❜ ❛  honestly? honestly, i can't remember all my teenage feelings. and the meanings.  ❜ ❛  the more i try, the more i lose.  ❜ ❛  why can't i feel anything from anyone other than you?  ❜ ❛  second chances they don't ever matter, people never change.  ❜ ❛  and the hardest part is letting go of the nights we shared.  ❜ ❛  you contradict the fact that you still want me around.  ❜ ❛  don't ever look back. they'll tear us apart if you give them the chance.  ❜ ❛  you don't know what it's like to be like me.  ❜ ❛  i kept my word when i swore that i would let you down.  ❜ ❛  so let's just pretend everything and anything between you and me was never meant.  ❜ ❛  and i fell for the promise of a life with purpose. but i know that's impossible now.  ❜ ❛  glad the future didn't fail you like it failed me.  ❜ ❛  but i wish that i'd never met a lot of the people that i've met. not because i don't like them but because i only let them down.  ❜ ❛  don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head.  ❜ ❛  can we pretend to leave and then we'll meet again.  ❜ ❛  let's just forget everything we said and everything we did.  ❜ ❛  i don't want to waste my time, become another casualty of society.  ❜ ❛  so i told her i loved her, and she told me she loved me. and i mostly believed her and she mostly believed me.  ❜ ❛  the truth is you could slit my throat, and with my one last gasping breath i'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt.  ❜

#rp meme #rp memes #rp prompts #roleplay meme #sentence starters #lyric starters #lyric sentence starters #rph #type: meme

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for faking orgasms?

This might come as a shock given the title but I'm a man, and so is my boyfriend. However I'm much more sexually experienced than him, as in I'm his first sexual/romantic partner meanwhile I've had sex with at least 30 different guys before. I also generally have a more consistent libido, and I'm desensitized down there to a degree, AND I also often get stuck in my own head due to certain neuroses and ocd and whatnot -- all this to say, it's REALLY hard for me to reach a real climax with another person.

And my bf is aware of this. I've told him many times. I've also reassured him (truthfully!) that partially due to this, an orgasm is not the end-all-be-all of sex for me, and that I can absolutely enjoy myself without "finishing." And if he still feels bad, I will not only take a backrub or something essentially as a replacement for him making me finish, but I in fact often prefer it. I promise I've tried everything; this is not a communication issue.

But. Basically no matter what I say or do, he just doesn't believe me. Or he isn't capable of accepting it, idk. He's insistent that it makes him bad at sex and it means he couldn't please me if I don't come... all the while that he almost never actually takes initiative to do any dominant role? So tbqh he's not totally wrong about that self-assessment but it's still ridiculous bc he doesn't even know WHY? Anyway.

Telling him things that he could do to ever make it better doesn't really work either, because the moment I "criticize" him during sex, even if it's just telling him to move his legs into a different position, he often takes it incredibly personally and just stops wanting to have sex altogether bc he's suddenly not in the mood. And if it's after he's finished, he's basically conked out. He never has any energy by that point except to more or less demand that I come, as nowadays he counts my capacity to jerk off afterwards as something evident of his "ability to please me," I guess. By that point, I'm still just jerking off by myself while he plays on his phone or falls asleep next to me, which I hate and find a huge turn-off and have expressed multiple times that it's at least "weird" and "funny" to do so. But he keeps doing it.

Inb4 the most likely majority response to a lot of this: I'm aware that we're clearly not that sexually compatible. But leaving the relationship is not an option even if I wanted to. The routine of us having sex is, regardless of exactly how satisfying it is, essentially necessary to our mutual happiness.

Now that that's out of the way, here's the real meat: I've decided relatively recently to just... pretend to come. I can often get to a sort of mini-orgasm long before a real one is on the horizon and I just kind of exaggerate that. It really turns him on, and it gets rid of any of the tension that would otherwise be there once we're both done, and I'm able to either fall asleep or otherwise move on in peace.

Now obviously, this is lying, and I don't like having to lie, and also if he ever realizes that I fake them then he's gonna feel even worse than when I outright say I didn't come. But clearly it's also causing strife to be truthful, and it's also not that hard to fake it. Whatever I communicate to him is at best forgotten - and it most likely *is* genuine, innocent forgetfulness bc he has severe ADHD. I'd likely never know if it happened that he is straight up ignoring what I say. In any case it's to a level that it just seems like my only solution is to fake it.

Does he have a right to know if I haven't actually come? AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[gaycrittercentral]

They're done!! also fuck you tumblr how dare you eat ALL THE INFO I JUST PUT IN HERE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

sigh. Anyhow here they are!! My first stab at drawing the seven heavenly virtues AU, which was actually going to be a set of references for a different drawing of them, but then I ended up coloring these instead. Lmao I'll finish the other drawing another time. All that's missing here is Max drooling over them all fjkdsljgslk;fhsh

Also, my handwriting fuckin' sucks so feel free to check the alt text/image description if you need a translation! Anyhow I'm boutta ramble about them a LOT so the rest is under the cut hehe

I'll be the first to say that color is not my strong suit, or at least that I'm not confident in my color choices, but I'm honestly pretty happy with how most of these turned out! probably my favorites are Chastity, Patience and Kindness, just because they get to be a bit unique (and also because conceptually I like them a lot hehe). I almost feel bad giving my favorite color to Diligence bc he's a loser, but whatever, somebody had to get it and he fit the vibe best lmao. Also, funnily enough, he and Temperance are the only ones who ended up having the same hue as their vice counterparts! Weird, huh? Oh actually there's Humility and pikaflute's Pride, they're both indigo teehee. But yeah, I wanted to match colors with the vibe of each virtue, so it didn't end up being a one to one thing with the vices.

Btw I kinda based Patience on that one episode of the cartoon where Sam passed out for fifteen years and woke up a monk, lol. But also I just reeeeally wanted to put him in that bathrobe, also from the cartoon, because um. Well. um. open bathrobe Sam....I don't even like men but like.......

Also there's a roll of toilet paper behind Humility because he's locked in the bathroom, poor baby. Oh and it didn't come out all that clear but that's a trowel Kindness has in his hand, he's helping with about a million things at once fjkdlsgjdlskh. I'm love him

Oh and tbh while I like most everybody, I really think I need to give sin Sam a more original design. Like, let's be honest, if he had some five o' clock shadow, no hat, and his tie back, then he's just noir Sam. And that's great I guess because we all know noir Sam was hot, but like, I don't wanna just ride his coattails. For that matter, if anybody has ideas for potential redesign elements, I'd be interested in hearing them! Can't promise I'll go with them because I'm horrifically picky but I'd love to hear anyhow hhhhfkdlsjfldshfs

ummm and that's it I can't think of anything else to say and I've kept myself up entirely too late doing this so hope y'all enjoy byeeeeee

#also sin sam absolutely shoplifted that spiky collar from a hot topic lmao. I'm keepin that #oh and temperance probably has a liver-shaped patch on him somewhere I just didn't include it lmaoo #sam and max #sam and max freelance police #freelance husbands #my art #seven heavenly virtues au #oof. I shoulda been asleep ages ago. pray for me at work tomorrow shjgksdlfsh

[shai-manahan]

Hi! It's been a while since I've talked about the upcoming updates, but I finally had a chance to actually sit down and make plans! (the life of a corporate slave, am I right? 🙃)

It has something to do with the changes I will be implementing on my patreon, though. I've thought for a while how to give content that's worthwhile of subscriptions while also making sure I can be comfortable with them, and in all honesty, I had a tricky time doing it. HM is too personal for me, as I used to talk about before, and some of the patreon benefits I promised before eventually felt too revealing - of my own thoughts and people whose lives were a huge inspiration for this story.

I will be talking about these changes and the update schedules as well below the cut.

UPDATES

I aim to finish at least half of HM's Book 1 this year. It seems to be a more realistic goal than forcing myself to finish everything right away (which tbh may have been a huge pressure I put on myself the past few years), though admittedly, things are unpredictable in the field I'm in; my job is full of overtime hours, and I spend most of my weekends trying to recover (or sick).

Still, I gotta finish it one way or another, and it's not going to write itself (though I wish it would!), so yeah, set realistic deadlines, pull out a few all-nighters, and maybe I'll actually get through it, who knows?

I do hope I'll have steadier finances by the time Book 2 starts so I can put more focus on writing and have sufficient energy for it, but that's a conversation for another day.

Changes in Prologue - Chapter 2

Okay. I know I promised not to make revisions until I write more chapters, but changing how some game mechanics work and reworking the stats made it a necessity, and I underestimated how much rewriting I'd have to do. A few scenes ended up not working well anymore, and I couldn't resist from revising a few clunky sections while I was at it.

Dialogue options were one of those that were significantly affected by the stat changes, but no worries, nothing is changed in the story -- meaning Wesley still fucks with the Ripper's life (oops), Richard still goes off doing whatever non-sus thing he's doing, you can still punch Bale (it's even a lot funnier this time), Bertrand remains a bitchy cop, and you'll still have your sad flashback with your former best friend/lover/crush or whatever they are to your MC.

The plan is to release the updated version of Prologue and Chapter 1 to patrons by the end of March (I will have a few days off work that week) and release it to the public once the new content is also ready, which I presume will be available next month (I will keep you all posted but I really hope I can get it done by then because it's been forever 🥲).

I might tweak Chapter 2 a little so the available portion can stand on its own rather than be divided into two parts, because it's just too long lmfao and is harming the pacing as I keep worrying about the length. I'm also incorporating a few suggestions a few folks gave me these past few months.

Succeeding chapters

I've probably said this before but things are bound to get more insane in HM once we're past the first three to four chapters. But also quicker to write in a way. They're the kind of scenes I thrive in, and while they have bigger variations, they're a lot more fast-paced, characters start being manipulative little shits, and the threats are more prevalent than ever. Your Ripper will not have a good time, but I certainly will (I say as I look at my outline and get sad doing it). There will be a few "breaks" in between, but this is not and will never be a light-hearted story. Anyway, I'm inclined to believe I'll be more consistent with updates when that time comes, so bear with me for now :')

PATREON CHANGES

This is getting long, so I'll just list the updated tier benefits and end the day with it. I'll be posting a schedule that I will be committing to (here and on patreon tomorrow morning), with the below details as well (so if you wanna stop here that's totally valid) but for now, here's the tentative list:

Tier 1

Early access - 4 days before a public update (this month will be an exception and you'll get the update as soon as the other tiers get it, too).

Sneak peeks and deleted scenes - I included the latter because apparently I delete a lot of great scenes

Hints for future revelations in the story - the categories will depend on results of polls; the hints may be about Bale's death, about Ripper's family, Pharos, Cyro, the ROs themselves, or the nightmares that the MC is getting, etc. Might be in form of vague conversations/dialogues between unknown characters, might be me dropping subtle info about those involved. Either way, it will be fun :). The polls and these hints will be given monthly.

Tier 2

Early access - 1 week before a public update

all the other benefits for Tier 1

monthly RO snippets - I'm still experimenting with this, but I might simply write MC x RO snippets (with different kinds of MCs for different scenarios because I deeply hate writing blank slate MCs, sorry)

a choice to see the POV of a character, decided through polls, for every chapter/update.

Tier 3

Early access - as early as it's available and goes through testing stages

all other benefits for previous tiers

Non-RO short stories

Previews on unintroduced characters :)

That's all for tonight! I am so tired lmfao but I hope you all are having a great weekend so far! See you tomorrow :)

#patreon #patreon changes #updates #hollowed minds progress update #interactive fiction #hollowed minds series #hollowed minds #wip #writing #hollowed minds book one #if wip #interactive novel

[blueepink07]

Some of my Milgram trial 3 predictions!

First off, I will start with a little introduction with my thoughts of the newest conversation between Haruka and Kotoko!

I was surprised that they decided to drop this conversation so early considering that it is very important in order to move the plot forward, despite trial 2 not even being finished... Untill I realized that it is the perfect time for Haruka to proceed with his plan. If he waits for the trial to end, there is a high chance for him to be restrained immediately. We don't know how the restraints during third trial will look like, but there is a high chance for them to look similar with those from Undercover, where their hands are fully restrained.

If that's the case, then Haruka wouldn't be able to hold a weapon at all and to harm himself.

He knows that he was voted guilty. It makes sense considering that since his birthday, he started to think about a plan in order to protect Muu.

23/06/22 (Haruka’s Birthday)

Mu: Haruka-kun, I brought your food. Are you still alive? Has any mould started growing?

Haruka: ……ah, thank you very much. Mu-san. Sorry, um… I…

Mu: You shouldn’t just lock yourself in your room all day. You have to eat your food properly. Hm, well…… I do understand why you’re feeling down. It feels bad. The atmosphere recently

Haruka: Um, I’m totally fine…Just a bit, I’m thinking, about how to do it. What to do, what to do, to… fulfil my promise. For Mu-san’s sake…

Moreover, Mahiru and Fuuta, during first trial, started to feel judged by people who told them they were in the wrong, not long after their guilty verdicts. It was also before Kotoko's voting period...

Kotoko's MV will be released on 17 January (also Mahiru's birthday) and her voting period should end around May... Unless we will get another portal timeline conversation which is not for a birthday, we have two more timeline portal timeline conversations for this trial Mahiru's and Fuuta's birthday (19 April) .

We will just have to see when Haruka will actually go along with his plan... Since on Mahiru's birthday it will be released Kotoko's MV, I kind of doubt that Haruka will do something at that time... I feel like it would be too much content and it would be hard to catch up with everything... So my prediction would be that something will happen on Fuuta's birthday or around that time. I feel like it would also end in a very dramatic way the second trial.

Now that this part is done, I will begin explaining some predictions for Haruka and a few other prisoners (Yuno, Fuuta, Mahiru)

Haruka -> I think that he will go along with his plan before the end of the second trial. This will give him enough mobility to hold a weapon and actually cause himself harm. What Haruka asks from Kotoko is simple: to let him harm himself and to stay away, letting him go along with his plan.

Haruka: ...Please, be quiet about this. And you, please don't get involved. All I can do is ask this of you...

Kotoko: Fufufu, fufufufufu. You're thinking some outrageous things. To be frank, it's abnormal. But I don't dislike it. If only all sinners were like you.

Haruka: No... That's not it... I don't mean it that way... This isn't for me... it's to protect... so, Kotoko-san... please...

Kotoko: Eh? Yes, yes. Well, I promise not to interfere with your plans. Even though I'd like to do it myself, I'll leave it to you. What happens after that... depends on Es, doesn't it?

Other prisoners will sure try to stop him, thinking about Kazui, Mikoto, since they seem the most able, physically speaking. However, I'm afraid that Kotoko will interfere and slow down Kazui or any prisoner who is trying to help Haruka. I'm imagining that it will be a big mess... It's possible that even other prisoners, except Haruka, will get injuried somehow, trying to interfere...

Yuno -> Not very fond of social interactions. Her mental health will deteriorate even more, but she will not show it. Will find more information about Milgram (the only one who starts to question her own existence)

I really think that it will be revealed that she is in fact dead.

Let me explain, how it would work!

The second Milgram novel, (for the sake of not giving much spoilers, I will not say the name of who I'm talking about!), introduces us with something new! Three of the characters are aware that they are dead. Why? Because they remember killing themselves. They died with this memory...

Yuno, on the other hand, states that she had many abortions... It's true that the stairs should be taken as symbolism for the stages of her pregnancy, however Japan is known for it's expensive abortions!

Moreover, it is usually required the partner's consent in order to have an abortion..

Not only Yuno would never want her family to struggle with money after such a big payment, but I also don't think she would manage to gain the signature of one of her clients.

So what option she would have? It seems that falling down the stairs might have been a good option...

Going back, imagine being in Yuno's shoes. A legal, medical abortion is not possible, so she decides that harming herself might help her escape from this situation. It worked before, so why it wouldn't now? However, something happens, she falls dangerously and suddenly everything goes black and she wokes up in Milgram. Now, falling down the stairs can cause instant death if the head is hit or the neck snaps.

"By hitting your head, or breaking your neck, either of which could easily occur in a staircase fall. You can hit your neck at an angle where it would snap due to the pressure of falling and cause instant death."

This means that her brain will stop working shortly after death, so she will not process the fact that she died. Remember what I said before? That the three characters from the novel were aware that they were dying, so their brains processed that and had this memory in Milgram.

Yuno doesn't have this privilege, however she could suspect her death, if her last thing she remembers is her falling down the stairs.

Fuuta -> it's so hard to imagine something for him... But I truly think he will give more assistance to the younger ones. He already expresses concern for Haruka, despite saying in the interrogation questions that he can't bother, considering his mental health and injuries.

I've made a post a while ago talking about how passage of time in Milgram is really weird and that their bodies don't seem to grow at all. Their injuries which should have been better after a few months, during trial 2, also didn't get better at all, especially considering Mahiru's case and Shidou spending most of his time with her.

At that time, I've been thinking that once somebody has an injury, their body will be unable to heal. So I think that Fuuta's physical condition will not change much.

Moreover, I believe that Fuuta and Amane will get closer... I'm expecting a timeline conversation which would explain better what is happening right now. No, I don't think he will be fully indoctrinated, I think he will be given just that hope that there is somebody there who loves him and appreciates him. (I think he will be really distrustful of the voices that he will hear, even if they are positive) To believe all that Amane has been taught, means to stop receiving medical care. And if his body doesn't heal, he will still be in constant pain.

I doubt he will refuse medications, considering that he is very desperate to relieve the pain. Also, forgot to mention, but there are a few religious aspects that Fuuta has in his MV or VD, even before his interactions with Amane...

Mahiru -> what I'm going to write are my thoughts after I've been asked what romantic pairing I think would become canon. (for this, I'm not really sure, but I thought it will be interesting to share!)

Trial 3 is stated that will be worse than this trial, which as well, had lots of conflicts between prisoners and prisoners experiencing mental torture and physical injuries. If there will be any romantic ship canon, I really think that it would be something that makes the characters to be even more absorbed by their beliefs.

Any romantic relationship between Amane(obviously), Kotoko, Fuuta, Yuno, Muu, Haruka, Kazui, Mikoto (John and Mikoto, I doubt that an inno vote will have them in better terms, Milgram will sure make the situation worse somehow 😭) seems unlikely for me.

Yuno, because she wishes more and more to escape from Milgram and she will sure be more distant with the others, especially if Mahiru heals.

Fuuta, he was distant before, even if his condition gets better I can't picture him having as a priority to be in a romantic relationship.

Kotoko, she is too absorbed in her ideals to deliver justice, also no one is really approaching her.

Muu and Haruka, their relationship dynamic is not balanced at all. One sees the other as a friend, the other as a parental figure... The guilty vote will just strenghten this condepency and they will need eachother more, but that's it.

The only relationship that I can possibly see is one between Mahiru and Shidou, but it would most probably be one sided (Mahiru will express some attachment to Shidou). It is stated that Shidou spends most of his time with Mahiru.

Especially the last timeline conversation seems to hint that they will still spend lots of time together, at least until the beginning of the third trial.

Mahiru: Shidou-san, you have a family...right? Having family, having children, how does it feel...?

Shidou: ...Yes, it's a wonderful thing. Children are... Well, they're hope itself. When you have children, growing older becomes enjoyable. The more you age, the more your children grow.

Mahiru: Ah...how wonderful. It was my dream to become a bride. It may be a little old-fashioned but, I wanted to make it come true...

Shidou: It's not too late. I will keep you alive, Shiina-kun. Let's get out of here and make that dream come true. ...You still have your whole life ahead of you.

Moreover, Mahiru states that she doesn't want to change her ideals, because she can't live without love in the second voice drama.

That's why I'm thinking... In what way they could possibly show the characters getting worse, if they don't let the prisoners to overindulge in their own desires and ideals? To Kotoko this already happened, so what would stop a romantic relationship between Mahiru and someone else, most probably Shidou (as he seems the best choice so far) ? We, as voters, wouldn’t be so impacted by the way prisoners could change outside Milgram (if they will ever get out) than inside, with the characters we love so much.

To finish off, I would say that this will most probably be the only romantic relationship that I can think of happening, but even so, more from Mahiru's part.

I personally don't really ship Milgram characters, so here is me just thinking about the worst possible outcome that it comes to my mind right now!

Trial 3 will sure be awful, so I'm expecting the worst. 😭

#milgram #milgram theory #thoughts #haruka sakurai #yuno kashiki #fuuta kajiyama #amane momose #kotoko yuzuriha #mahiru shiina #shidou kirisaki

[pockettwinzz]

Sunghoon Drabble {riddhi's event}

wrote this for an event and it's prolly one of my worst works yet 😭😭no cause writing fics in pressure is not for me {it's harder than cramming my chem lectures of a week in a night}

synopsis: Sunghoon was mad at you for coming home late without informing him and ignoring his text messages. He's kinda insecure and breaks down into tears {i'm sorry T_T} genre: comfort, fluff, SFW

The party was in full swing, the music thumping against the walls and the laughter of my friends filling the air. I'd been having the time of my life, dancing and drinking and catching up with everyone. Finally, I decided to call it a night. I gathered my things, said my goodbyes, and made my way out of the apartment.

The cool night air felt refreshing against my flushed cheeks as I hurried home. I opened my phone to check my text messages and immediately my mind was filled with guilt.

As I approached our apartment, I could feel a knot forming in my stomach. I knew Sunghoon would be upset that I was late, but I never expected the intensity of his anger. When I stepped through the door, he was pacing back and forth in the living room, his expression a mixture of fury and hurt.

"Y/n," he practically growled my name, "Where the hell have you been?"

I opened my mouth to apologize, but the words caught in my throat as he continued to pace, his eyes burning into me. "I-I'm sorry," I managed to stammer. "I didn't mean to stay out so late, I just had a really good time with my friends and-"

But before I could finish, he cut me off, his voice harsh and angry. "You never think about how your actions affect me, do you? It's always about what you want, what makes you happy! Well, guess what? I'm not happy right now, and you don't seem to care!"

It's been a while since we last had an argument. Truthfully, I was beginning to think we'd grown out of them. But here we are, on the brink of another one, and I can feel the anger rising in my chest like bile. I should be used to it by now, considering Sunghoon's possessive nature. It's one of the things I love most about him, but it also drives me insane sometimes.

"Can't I even have one night to myself?" I ask him, a hint of annoyance creeping into my voice. He doesn't respond, just continues to stare at me with those angry eyes. I take a seat beside him, careful not to touch him.

The tension between us is thick enough to cut with a knife.

 He finally speaks, "One Night?" he asks, his voice cracking slightly. "You're always out with your friends, either having a party, or working.You're always out with your friends, and I'm stuck here, waiting for you to come home. I feel like I'm not enough for you anymore."

My heart drops into my stomach at his words. "Hoon, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. I lost track of time, that's all. I never meant to make you feel like I didn't care." I reach out to touch his hand, but he pulls it away, huffing angrily.

"How can you not know how it feels?" he says, his eyes were watering, tears threatening to fall out of them any moment.

I could feel my heart twisting at his words. I took a deep breath, trying to calm down myself and him... "I'm sorry hoon," I repeated, meeting his watery eyes. "I promise, I won't stay out so late again. I'll make it up to you, I swear."

Sunghoon wrapped his arms around me. "I know you will" he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of my head, nuzzling his head on my shoulders. "I just want us to be together, you know? I love spending time with you." He pulled back, his fingers tracing my cheek. "I love being with you too babe." I hugged him tighter.

We spend the rest of the night cuddled up on the couch, watching a movie and laughing. Sunghoon keeps glancing at me every now and then, making sure I'm okay, and I can't help but feel relieved that we were able to work things out.

Maybe our argument was just a bump in the road, but together, we'll get past it. Because in the end, we're in this together, and that's all that matters.

taglist: @cha-eui @alvojake @heeslut4life @wondipity @dollywons

event : @deluluriddhi

dividers made by @dollywons

#riddhi's event #deluluriddhi #pockettwinzz writes #this is really dumb #one of my worst works yet T^T

[dark-is-d3ad]

Let's make it a series, because I'm overwhelmed with packing. Got ya the mugs, too, they're real.

Ghost and Soap moving in together, part 2.

(Part 1 if you want some more context)

• Soap loves plants, but in his line of work he's not home often enough to take proper care of them, so he resorts to getting the least awful out of the artificial ones. Ghost says they're perfect for collecting dust. They get into a surprisingly heated argument about it. Ghost lets Soap win, but he's not convinced.

• When they come back from that mission (which wasn't nearly as smooth and easy as promised by intel), both are on medical leave for at least several weeks. Ghost has been shot in the shoulder, and Soap managed to twist his ankle so badly it broke. Got all of the ligaments torn, too. They come back home late in the evening, and are greeted with boxes, dismantled furniture, everything left exactly as it was, now covered in a thin layer of dust. "Fucking hell, Johnny," - manages Ghost, dropping his backpack on the floor. There's not much to add.

• Sitting on the floor with tea is a tradition now, apparently. Honestly, they're way too tired now to deal with any of this.

• They have the stupidest fight about who's gonna take care of the heavy things. Ghost gives it a go before Soap can protest and ends up reopening the wound.

"You pull your stitches again, Si, and I'm gonna finish you off myself," - Soap promises, stitching him up.

"I'd rather you worry about that leg of yours. Heavy lifting and crutches don't go together that well."

"We need to get the bed built at least, aye?"

"Fuck it," Ghost exhales, wincing when the needle goes through the skin again. They end up just moving the mattress into the bedroom (it still took a ridiculous amount of time).

"You know where the bedding stuff is? Right there." Soap points to a big box in the bottom of the stack.

"Fuck it," repeats Ghost and sprawls on the mattress. He's exhausted, his shoulder stings, that mattress is softer than whatever they slept on for weeks now, the heating's on, and Johnny's right there, tucked at his good side, almost cuddling him. He really doesn't care about anything else.

• They end up calling in reinforcements the next day. Yeah, that 'I can do it myself' attitude is something they both suffer from, but they're definitely not in shape to deal with this on their own. It takes a little bribery (a promise of takeout dinner and a couple of good bottles of scotch) to convince Gaz and Roach to come.

• When they get in, it gets way louder than it was. Ghost thought Johnny was the loudest, but these two on leave are something else entirely. Yet, they do spread the boxes out on the floor which makes it easier to take things out, and move the art stuff to the second bedroom so they have space to build the shelf. That helps a lot.

• Ghost gets to sort things and put them away, and falls into a flow state. It doesn't bother his injury, and he's quick and productive. He's aligning Soap's spices in alphabet order, alright? Soap's definitely going to mess it up the second he touches it, but it doesn't matter.

• Johnny's really trying to carry as much as he can at once, but you can only take so much when you're on crutches. So, he hops around with a crutch in one hand, leg in a boot, one arm full of things, and he carries some in his mouth. The others have a field day joking because he can't come back at them in time. He does make all sorts of funny sounds to retort, but it only riles them up even more.

• "Wait, you've only got one bed? That's sus."

Ghost just glares at Gaz, and he drops the topic. But not for long.

"So, when's the wedding?"

He gets a pillow in his face from Soap who just had landed his ass on a sofa, and another threatening glare from Ghost. "The forest is big, Gaz. Easy to get lost," - he threatens, but there's no real heat behind it.

• By the end of the day it looks much better than before, but still nowhere near done. "Can we put your lights somewhere in the living room before we call it a day?" Ghost asks Soap, and he surprises himself with how soft it comes out.

Gaz and Roach just exchange long looks. They know better than to voice it, but the shared thought is "that's not Ghost, that's Simon". They don't want to scare him off, it's not often they get to see the guy in the first place. "Soap's a good influence on him," - Roach whispers almost non-audibly. - "Haven't seen him like that in years." Gaz just nods.

"Yeah, sure, bring them, and I'll wrap them around," - Soap sounds tired. It's been a long day. Their hands brush when they tweak the garlands to fix them in place, it feels like a little electric sparkle. Ghost catches Johnny's hand for a moment, and Soap makes that little surprised sound that's gonna etch itself in Simon's memory forever now.

• With the shelf in place, TV standing proudly in the centre of it, and books arranged neatly, the living room comes to life. Ghost's table is closer to the kitchen, his only black chair sticking out like a sore thumb among Soap's wooden ones. They all have different pillows on them, a chaotic mismatch of colour. It is somehow cozy, cosier than Ghost could have imagined, and they're not even done with it yet.

• Chinese takeaway, scotch, and Mortal Kombat on Ghost's PlayStation is the best way to finish the day. The little lights are on, the flat feels much better already, almost homely despite the mess. The sofa is big enough for all of them, but it still gives Johnny an alibi to stick himself to Simon's good side. It's not cuddling, there's just not enough space, and he ended up there, OK?

• Gaz destroys Ghost in MK, but Ghost just blames it on the shoulder. "Never knew you were a sore loser, Lt," pokes Roach.

"Say that again, and you're gonna become one," - Ghost deadpans. Soap starts snoring, passed out cold on his shoulder. That's when it finally hits him. He's home.

#ghostsoap #soapghost #moving #headcanon

[ltfad]

So this is pretty wild but next year will be 10 years since we started writing Live to Fight Another Day (May 20th 2014 was when Chapter 1 was first published on Ao3).

Yikes. I can hardly believe it!

If I'd been able to continue the same momentum as I had when we first started writing it, book 1 would be done and we'd be well on our way into book 2, but alas, life is never that straightforward.

For those interested, here are just some of the major life events that have happened since LtFAD began:

5 job changes for me (including one entire career change) I don't know how many jobs for Cal actually 2 college degrees started and completed (an AA for me and a Master's for Cal) 1 Master's Program started for me just this year 4 surgeries total between me and Cal at least 6 moves (2 or 3 for Cal and 4 for me) 2 weird not-great-for-mental-health relationships beginning and ending

This isn't counting things in our families of origin such as deaths, births, weddings etc though those have also happened, some of them much more significant to us personally than others. The difference between being 24 and being 34 feels huge in some ways and not very big at all in others.

But I am definitely in a much different headspace than I was when I first threw myself into writing this fic. It's not at all an exaggeration to say that this story saved my life in a time when I was very lonely and still grappling with a lot of questions about what my life should be and why I was even alive. There were days when I literally thought to myself, I need to stay alive, I need to make it through this, so I can finish writing LtFAD.

It means the world to me that even now that I'm doing much, much better most days, this story continues to give comfort and a feeling of connection to other people even though it's unfinished. That's the best legacy I can hope for, for this story: connection, comfort... a feeling of knowing others' hidden courage in the hard times and feeling known in turn. Yes, I do still want to finish it. Or at least continue it for as long as I can, whenever I can. It feels like a friend I've carried with me (and been carried by) for the last nine years. I can't promise any sure timeline for its completion, but I just wanted to write this to thank everyone again for loving LtFAD, from the most active commenters to the quietest lurkers whose usernames I've never seen. Thank you so much for existing and for connecting with something we made.

-Rae.

[fortytworedvines]

Ao3 fic writers questions. I was tagged by @batnbreakfast and @slightlyintimidating , thank you both!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

109

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

409, 456

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Recent fics are Berena (holby City) and all creatures great and small (2020 version).

Previous fandoms include Ted lasso, doctor who, the durrells and cabin pressure.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Cherry cake (Ted lasso, Ted x trent)

But that's what happens (doctor who, thasmin)

I promise I will do my best (to be true to myself) (holby City, berena)

Observations of trent crimm (the independent) (Ted lasso, Ted x Rebecca)

Rocket ships and shooting stars (Ted lasso, Ted x trent).

These definitely show which the biggest fandom is, rather than my best work. Who would have thought Ted x trent would blow up like it did!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, though sometimes very late. I appreciate the comments I get so I want to show that!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

In her dreams (holby City, berena) which when I wrote it was canon compliant with bernie being dead and then serena died at the end of the fic.

I don't like angst and will almost always write it with a happy ending if I do have to write it.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my other fics to be honest. The guy (or girl) gets the guy (or girl) and they live happily ever after.

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Only once and it was about an actor, not the fic.

9. Do you write smut?

When the mood takes me 😅

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I've written, um, maybe 3 crossovers? None of them are particularly crazy.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of...

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone once asked to translate a thasmin one. I don't know if they ever did though.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Once, with the lovely and mysterious @slightlyintimidating . It was great fun! Definitely recommend

14. What's your all time favourite ship?

Haha... ha. Nope, can't answer that! I love all my ships.

15. What's a wip you want to finish but probably won't?

Happy to say that all my published fic is complete. At the moment, I'd just like to be in the mood to write anything at all really.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm pretty good at keeping people in character.

I think my dialogue is OK most of the time?

17. What are your writing weaknesses

Description. Urgh. Just imagine something in your head and pretend I described it please.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't think it works. If you're fluent and can write something that's not a mess, your audience might not be fluent to understand it. And if you're not then just... no. Write it in whatever language your fic is in and say its that other language.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter. Didn't publish it as I didn't even realise fanfic was a thing back then.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Might be recency bias, but Home Front (acgas, Siegfried x audrey). I reread it recently and loved it. It has a good plot, the characters are solid, the OCs are good, the setting is good, the animals are lovely.

I'm doing this on my phone and I can't rewrite the questions out. Sorry. If you would like to answer these, consider yourself tagged!

#my fic #fic writing

[manonamora-if]

The Roads I Maybe Should Have Taken

The TRNT Post Mortem

Oye oye! As was promised, so it is! The Post Mortem for The Roads Not Taken (which hopefully won't be as long as the actual game...)

Follow me into my journey of once again speed-running my way through a competition, and coming out scratched and bruised and still not learning my lessons!

First, some links:

if you haven't played the game yet, I recommend you do before reading this!

you can find its IFDB page here (if you want to leave a review?)

and the STF version source code here for the code curious!

shortened version of the PostMortem on IntFic

Then, a little Table of Content:

The Idea

The Story

The Implementation

The Reception

The Do-Over?

And finally, we start! (under the break because it will be long - LoL at me writing 1/5th of TRNT as a Post Mortem)

I should preface this Post Mortem with I entered the SpringThing on a whim. I had just come out of a conga line of competitions and game jams since last Summer (log of release/update), and had plans on finishing working on other projects instead of this one (which I probably should have... sorry The Rye in the Dark City for abandoning you...). But I obviously didn't do that because here was another new fresh game! And then another two of those just after... whooops...

The idea for TRNT just popped into my brain one day and would not leave me until I implemented it, no matter what (yes, I am still weak willed, I have not learned my lesson from The Thick Table Tavern, the one about not rushing a project and publishing it at a later date when it is truly ready). I did have that thought in the back of my mind that if I do do this, it would be very likely I would end up with a repeat of TTTT, as in: half-full drink with too much ice, and expired garnish falling from the very pretty fancy glass.

Also I did not start working on the entry until the SeedComp was in its voting round (so around the 4-5th of March?). I really wasn't kidding about the speed-running thing....

Another thing: I had never created a parser game before this point AND suck real time at playing them! This was also indicated in my Author's comment.

Nothing obviously stopped me anyway, because here we are...

1- The Idea

A few weeks before the opening of the SpringThing intent, the French IF community was streaming some older parser entries, including Aisle* and Pick-Up the Phone Booth and Die, two games where the player can only do one action before the game ends. I'd never really experienced this kind of game before (the closest being having a sudden death/continue the story choice). It packed a punch, it was funny, and also so very weird. It left me dissatisfied and super intrigued. I wanted to try and do that too someday. *Funnily, someone on the French IF discord thought DOL-OS had been inspired by Sam Barlow's work (it wasn't, but TRNT def was).

Not, I am not going to be hella pretentious and full of myself by putting TRNT on the same level as those games (because I don't think I did a good enough job to merit a comparison), but the one-action-only gameplay and multiple endings drew me in (I love abrupt endings, cf P-Rix). I've mainly written longer form of IF rather than short bites, and I thought it would be fun to try to constrict myself as much as possible, by having just one thing, one action, one outcome.

And also: parsers. I had only dabbled with the Choice-Based/Hyperlink format, so I thought it was time to try the last unexplored part of my IF journey: parsers. Since the SpringThing Festival is a nice place to experiment, I thought why not try to make one then! I could not have survived the anxiety of the IFComp reviews for that one...

Still, it was not going to be without a challenge. I had very little experience with parsers, and I honestly didn't think I could learn how to use a parser program in such short amount of time*, when I had a lot of other stuff at the same time. So I thought, why not make it in Twine**, at least I know this program inside-and-out(almost). There would not be a steep learning curve there... What could go wrong? *lol at me, having made an Adventuron game in a non supported language in about 2 weeks after that, without ever having tried the program beforehand. I could totes have managed!! **Also, when I got set with Twine, I realised how fun it would be to maybe put people's expectations upside down by doing something you're not supposed to with Twine... or parsers!

Well, it was going right at first...

2- The Story

I really wanted to recreate the same gameplay of Aisle with its only-one-action-and-it's-over, so I started listing possible actions and put them into a context where this choice of action would mean everything for the PC - because it is the only action you have. Which might not have been a good take? Aisle works because the setting is incredible mundane, and there are no stakes.

The context pretty quickly drew itself as the player will chose a profession/career path, and if they do/choose something wrong, then...😬too bad for them, they made their choice, deal with the consequences. While, in reality, we are not stuck in a life because of one choice, but with a myriad of them (and still we can change this trajectory), it's still a big pressure you get as a youth, having to choose where to go and what to do when you are done with highschool, and what path to take. It's a lot of responsibility that sometimes feels like it will affect/haunt the rest of your life. Do I still have some of that school/parental pressure from when I had to make that choice ingrained somewhere inside? probably...

But the more foolish idea was to let my brain continue to think more about that context and create a world and story further than the choice. Instead of going forward with the consequences and the hints of what could have happened or just let the choice being the centre piece, the brain just went backwards and created a society (some sort of futuristic one) and vaguely described beings (that are not humans), and the ritualistic culture of this society, etc... While it was fun to think about all of those, and maybe provided a fun setting and enticing story for the player to go through the game, there might have been a bit too much of it. I think, in hindsight, this may have devalued the choice itself (which became even more watered down when I continued on writing the first screens).

And so, the job choice soon became the player is going through some sort of ritual (v trope-y) to determine their place in society. If it has a vibe of The Giver, it shouldn't be too surprising, the book is on my shelf.

So we still have the one-choice-to-rule-them-all, but now there is a also backstory and setting... and I have to include it somewhoeeven if it means cramming it somewhere, anywhere.

Oh wait, I thought, I'll just make it like a prologue to build anticipation for the choice!

And so the brain went on zooming again to create the waiting room, and the agonising walk in the corridor, and the finding your way to the altar, before you cant finally make your choice..... only to end up with two(-ish) paragraphs for each endings. wow - what a good balanced game this is becoming...

Speaking of endings, I had originally listed over 50 actions, each planned to have a different ending.... only to end up with about 11, 7 of those were actually related to the final countdown choice. It made me sadder than when I cut onions :(

It wasn't just the player that needed to make...

At this point, we were two weeks away from the deadline. I had the backbone of the code (-ish), a good third of the writing wasn't complete (and this was mainly those 11 endings), and no one had tested the game yet. There was no way I could have included all 50 original options if I wanted to make the deadline. might have been good in hindsight to remove those choices, especially with the current command system.

So choices had to be made and a buttload of planned things had to be cut. I narrowly managed to finish the needed endings in time (which required re-writing some of those into a fake choice), at least.

At the end, I strayed quite a bit from the Aisle concept of a mini intro - one action - an ending puzzle-y feel (and making the player piece the story together from the endings), to arrive at... well... this anxiously geolian walk to one's doom (or dream). Making the story quite... well... linear.

And from going somewhat wrong, it went a little wrong-er...

3- The Implementation

Wanting to avoid the headache of learning a new program, I had settled on Twine pretty much from the start (SugarCube, because that's how I've been rolling for the past almost 2 years!).

The big problématiques of this project were:

Twine is not a parser program (duh)

SugarCube has its limitations still (and macros that don't always work the way you want to)

I had never written a parser game before and suck at playing them (thank you, French IF streams that helps me enjoy them without experiencing the frustration of not finding the right combo!)

I still suck at JavaScript/jQuery to do weird things with the page (and probably fix all those issues)

and well did I already say Twine is not a parser program?

So I tried to get to the basic of parsers (an input box and text revealing itself onto the page when a command is entered) and prayed for the best. Easy, right?

WRONG!

SugarCube has an input box, but can only autofocus* inside one specific place (so you can't lock it somewhere else but the passage itself, which means you need to add it to every screen...) and when the passage is first loaded (doesn't work if the input box is added later on). *I have also hurt some kitten by overusing autofocus, which was only compensated by offering the the SugarCube God some bug reports about it so those issues could be fixed for the next update (TBA). But you really are not supposed to use autofocus as much as I did... 😬

SugarCube has an input box, but you can only move to another passage after you press Enter. So you can't have some fancy input checks, and you stay on the same page... without some custom listener macro* that is (Bless you Maliface and your Listen Macro) - or I guess some JavaScript code, but who has time for that... I had included a button as an alternative to confirm the commands (which was how I had coded it for DOL-OS), but it would have made the parser experience much worse if using Enter would not have loaded a response (this was a criticism from DOL-OS, which now that I know how to fix, I really should do so...). *at least until the next Sugarcube update which will include a listener.

SugarCube has an input box, but doesn't have a bank of commands, or set object indicator (like with the parsers). While you can technically separate the inputed words with some JavaScript**, whether you do so or not will end with the same amount of spaghetti code at the end, with the different conditional statements for each actions on each screen to show the correct text bits (mine amounted to almost 600 lines of code for 7 screens... without included the printed text! -> see the source code). Now that I've messed around with Adventuron, I can see how easy it is to make a parser game (set up commands and rooms and interactive object), when you have a bank of built-in commands and not have to worry about how to add the new text on the screen. Twine really added a new layer of complexity to this.... Was there a better way of doing this? probably, but don't look at me to find it. *this was how the name chosenname command came to be, and how it only printed the chosen name on the following screens. That and the autofocus being messy...

SugarCube can add text bits to a page, but unlike parser programs, it won't automatically scroll down to the bottom of the page, or at least to the added element. Adding a scroll down to the bottom or scroll up to the page was not too hard (I had some leftover js code), but it was not the solution: the UI is mobile/tablet accessible (smaller screens), which means scrolling to the bottom would make those players having to manually scroll back up (and I am usually quite verbose in my writing). So very much EH.... NOT GREAT! After quite a lot of testing, broken pieces of code, way too much swearing, and re-doing the base of the UI, I did manage to find a solution.... a month into the review/voting period.

But even with those limitations, I pushed through. I knew it was possible to make it work, so I either tried to find work arounds (and gave up the scrolling, at least until the deadline), and pushed through, banging my head against my desk because of what was achievable...

LIKE BUILDING A WHOLE COMMANDS SYSTEM...

Wanting to make things easy for myself (and the players), I thought maybe removing all verbs would make it easier to go through the game, even when having to interact with objects or people around. Enter the bolded word* from the text as the input, press enter, and read the new text! *It was important for me to have some sort of "easy" mode where the interactive things were obvious to the player, coming from a scene where parsers are not the norm/favoured.

Simple right?

This idea... stopped working as soon as I introduced physical actions (sit, stand, jump, etc...), directional actions (the story might be linear but it still has multiple rooms), but most importantly as soon as I wrote flavour texts for one same object. Even if I could get away with removing X/LOOK/EXAMINE*, adding verbs at the end was a necessity (I didn't want to see all the already written variation go to waste...). *I did include look in the code, but mistakenly didn't think about its synonym <- shows the no-knowledge of parser, and not having a bank of commands built-in.

So verbs were added, and then some of its synonyms (but evidently not the most important ones 😬), and then some prepositions just in case, and noun synonyms with adjectives because of how it is described in the text, and then.... so on and so forth. And because of how SugarCube is set, I ended up with lines like this at the end:

<<if ["initiate", "look initiate", "look at initiate", "remember initiate", "initiates", "look initiates", "look at initiates", "remember initiates", "recall initiate", "recall initiates"].contains(_cmd)>>

(and this is not even a correct or complete command list, since it is missing EXAMINE and X)

Et rebelotte for all the interactive words on the page, as well as the added variations requiring another set other verbs. There's not really a verb/noun aliases list to help...

BUT WAIT

Because I always like to make it difficult for myself and not think of the amount of work my ideas/plan will require, I had to make some bits of text appear only once (even if some commands could be used more than once on that page) OR removing the player's ability to make a different action when they do a specific one AND have some bits of text only appear after a command has been used on that page. Pushing the player through extra invisible gates on top of the different rooms. I could have made it easier on myself to break scenes further than I had already done, but nooooooo

And I did this not just once. BUT THREE TIME! When the player is called to get in line, in the corridor, and just before the big doors.

I could have fed myself for a whole week with the spaghetti that came out of my code.

But Manon, I can hear the little devil on my shoulder say, Why all the whining and excuses? You could have stopped if it turned out to be a bad idea, especially if you couldn't implement it properly. Why not have made the story in something else than a parser?

Well...

because Time (wa)s running out and I wasn't going to let all this hard work go to waste by changing everything up at the last minute (it could have worked/been easier, that's true)

because it was still a fun puzzle to solve, even if frustrating most of the time,

because you learn more when you fail than when you win

I'm not a quitter :P (hiding my too many WIPs waiting for me....)

Even if I doubted myself with finishing the game on time, I still pushed myself to cross the finish line, since I knew I would not have finished the project otherwise. Thought it could have been fun to get the 12 angry men passing judgement on my Twine monstrosity making a mockery of parsers had I submitted it to the very serious ParserComp instead. /jk lovingly

So after some "extensive" testing (rushed in the last week, because I am a nightmare to people, sorry @groggydog and @lapinlunairegames for making you go through this, but also thank you for your help!!), I made it to the end!

Well... barely. Ended up with a few bug fixes update along the way.

4- The Reception

(it was like that in my heart)

Like TTTT, this was not explosion of praise and accolades. And I fully expected it. You can't make experiments omelettes without cracking a few programs/rules eggs. At least my omelette didn't have too many eggshells :P

Looking at the numbers, at the time of writing this posts, TRNT is currently sitting at 5 stars (4 ratings) on itch, and 3-1/2 stars on IFDB (2 ratings)*, with 4 reviews on the Forum (bellow the median/average this festival). None of the ratings game with reviews/comments. *When some of the reviews will be moved to the IFDB, I do expect this average to get lower. The itch one is nice (really happy 4 peeps loved it!), but most people only rate when they didn't like it or when they loved it.

As for the feedbacks gotten, they came from a few sources: the people who playtested TRNT, dms on Tumblr and the Forum, the Twine server, and the awaited reviews on the Forum.

Overall, the people who liked the game really enjoyed themselves, from the writing and the worldbuilding being intriguing, or how pretty the UI was. Even with the issues raised during the festival, quite a lot of people (who sent me comments) thought the experiment was either a success, something really cool, or impressive considering the limitations (of the festival and/or of the program). Even in the more critical comments, this experiment was seen as an interesting one to be commended (with a bit of a why did you bother... sprinkled in there). Someone told me TRNT reminded them of the Divergent series (and fair comparison, considering the whole ritual to put you in one job for the rest of your life).

The most surprising thing was that people who never played parser before (or didn't really liked them) found the game entertaining and fun to go through, managing to get to the end without too many issues; while the reviewers with more experience in the genre had a bit more restraints due to the command system I put in place.

Whether my giddiness about verbose writing was to the liking of the player or not, I was honestly happy comments about my grammar didn't make much of an appearance this time around (yay, progress!), and that I would get kudos for the vague story behind the experiment itself, and the structure of the story itself.

But this doesn't mean that it was all sunshine and rainbow here. TRNT had some obvious issues, which should have been squashed during the testing phase had this one been longer (yet again, me speed-running through comps when I should take my time... when will I learn...). There were two main ones: the commands and the UI.

The biggest issue came from the commands, being either unclear or confusing, especially when it came to the cardinal direction, the choice of synonym for the actions, or special actions like the name input. Even if you could go along the story with just a noun or press C until you reached the end, missing important verb commands did not help the game feel complete (EXAMINE/GET/the shortcuts). This is where having some Parser knowledge/experience would have come handy, he.... As for the cardinal directions, it was probably most confusing because I used them as synonyms for forward/back/left/right instead of N/S/W/E (that and it wasn't clear where you were able to go in the text either). Quite a few players were also getting stuck in the corridor (after you come to a stop, you hear some thing up front and your choices are to move to the side/jump or stand still). Special actions like the name input or the final choice were felt a bit off/broke immersion. Party due to the way SugarCube is, partly due to how I organised the game. Having a simple input where the player is asked for their name before the game start and have a say name command, might have worked better there. That and a better hinting system. Fix for those TBD.

Closely followed was the UI being annoying (which ;-; bc I pride myself on creating good UI, but it was fair critique), from the scrolling being an absolute ass, to the confusing bolding of the start of passages being the same as the interactive words (if you didn't change the colour in the settings), to the back/replay last choice command on the END screen not going to the right spot, or the responses of computing an inputted command not appearing/being confusing (in relation to the scrolling), some quirks with the UI being wonky for some screen sizes, etc... Thankfully, all those have been fixed.... but too late for the reviews already published. A quick revamp of the UI base + solving the scrolling issue + slight reformatting of the printed new text bits solved if not all of those issues. Still... too little too late... That's what you get for making a UI in a large screen and only checking different width but not different heights....

A SIDENOTE ON WHY PARSER AND NOT HYPERTEXT

Or me going a bit on a rant. Scroll down to pt 5- The Do-Over to resume coherent levelled conversation.

Still, making a parser a Twine was a CHOICETM, which didn't work for everybody. I don't know if it was because the game was put forth as a Twine game before being a parser, or because the story was maybe a bit too linear/not very interactive compared to other parsers, or because I set out to make a parser before thinking of a story and it showed for some, (or probably because the parser system was not very well implemented) but I did have a few commenters wondering if my choice of making it a parser was the correct one, as in why would you use parser when hyperlinks would have probably worked better?

Maybe a cop-out answer would be Why not. Why not try to break the rules and the codes of what is a Twine game or what is a parser? Why not push Twine to where it is probably not supposed to go (sorry, TME)? Why not blur the lines of the divides between the subgenres of IF? I wrote some part while having a bit of a fever, and my notes had Why not make parsers less puzzle-y/more linear choice-based like? and oh boi is it good to re-read yourself... Cause yiekes what a load of BS.

The other part of the answer is Because experimenting and doing weird thing is fun! Doing weird thing, writing bad code that should probably not work but it does, putting the program on a lifeline, making up stories that are nonsensical, etc... and breaking people's mind in the process with what could be done. Also it was just fun to find out whether it was just possible to do it at all. The rush of happiness when you the puzzle is solved is so incredibly gratifying. It was really fun to try something different (for me but also for what Twine can generally do), to solve a puzzle of mashing two things that don't/shouldn't go together, to find what makes them tick and make it all work, and to challenge myself to do something new (did I mention before it was my fist time making a parser?). AND, having fun creating! And the SpringThing has always been a beacon to promote experimentation with the genre and more out there stuff. So it's was kind of like the stars aligned or something :P

Also Because it was possible!That one is pretty self-explanatory...

Maybe a bit more presumptuous of me: Because experimenting keeps Interactive Fiction fresh and exciting! I'm not trying to set a trend or anything here (honestly, it's not too strange, TRNT's weirdness kind of follows my previous work with TTTT and its mixology element, or DOL-OS with it computer interphase), but isn't fun to see what else can be done in IF, or what new area can be explored now that funky stuff has been tried, or what else should probably not be done (hopefully this doesn't apply to TRNT lol, I think it should be fun to have more parser in Twine). Even if my entry was not really a novel idea even in the gameplay (exhibit A, exhibit B, exhibit C), I still think there should be more weird stuff out there, so I contribute to that where/when I can! It'd be sad if IF became same-y and stale... It'd be fun if someone did something like this because they played TRNT and thought it was neat :P

And Because it didn't fit with my original vision of the game. Even if the game changed quite a lot along the way, the parser element was something I would not compromise with, no matter how good or bad the final product was. Sorry TME for the kittens lost in the autofocus of the textboxes...

I did wonder for a while how many people opened the settings at all 🤔

5- The Do-Over?

Ha.

Haha.

Hahaha.

No.

Honestly... If I was going back to the start, I don't think I would change anything. Even if the length of the testing was more than minimal (still haven't learned my lesson), even if I rushed into the competition (again, not learned my lesson), even if I made errors along the way (well, maybe fixing the UI earlier instead) or let the story stray that much away from the original idea (honestly it was probably for the best that it ended not being too close to Aisle at the end, I might have gotten eviscerated in the reviews). It did what it was supposed to do, and checked all the boxes from what I wanted to try. At the end, to me, it was a complete (and stressful success).

Will there be some changes in the future?

Just a bit, at some point, TBD and TBA. Just to fix the commands a bit, maybe rearrange some passages, add a bit more variation/hidden codex entries, maybe even a new ending or two! But it wouldn't go further than that. TRNT was an experiment through and throuh.

==================== THE END ====================

Anyway, my weird hybrid beast of a parser in Twine and I are done rambling about my awesome show of tricks that may or may not have landed badly and with a broken skateboard. We will go collect our ribbons, now!

Make IF weird, Do word crimes, Have fun

I do wonder if me submitting the game in the Main Garden rather than at the Back Garden played into the expectations of the reviewers, since the BG is meant for more experimental IF. But in the same vein, there was the Kuolema running on a Google Form and people flocked to it so 🤷 It's probably the quality that made things the way it is whooooops :P

#postmortem #trnt #the roads not taken #I have once written too much #and wrote a lot of this under the influence of insomnia #I did win a special accolade: McGruber Honorarium #interactive fiction

[lurkinglurkerwholurks]

do you have any advice for writing long fics/series??? I have so many I've been wanting to write but the last times I've tried I always lost motivation, so now I'm scared to try 😭

Ohhh, been there. Okay, so I've done it two different ways, and odds are high that you've only tried one, so maybe whichever you haven't done before, do the other?

Method 1: Write it all, then post one chapter at a time only once complete. That's how I wrote my early multi-chapter series. I was so worried I'd get bored or stuck and bail before I did what I wanted to do, I made sure all of my chapters were written before I posted anything. If you're addicted to the serotonin of feedback, that's fine, find a writing buddy who will read your WIP so you're still getting some of that spark along the way, but don't put up anything public until you're all done and ready to rock and roll.

Side note: This is also a pretty good way to build a bit of a following on AO3. If you promise people up front that everything IS done and written and it WILL finish and you give them a regular posting schedule—a chapter every Tuesday or whatever—they'll subscribe and happily follow along because there's no risk. Short of you getting hit by a bus or something, I guess.

Method 2: If, however, you've tried the above and that's where you're getting stuck, do the opposite. Maybe sketch out some rough notes to yourself on where you want to end up with the fic, just so you know you're heading in the right direction, but then let go of the need for control a little and post as you go along. That's what I had to do for my two biggest fics because they took literal years. Actual literal years, plural. The fear of leaving things dangling might be more motivating than you realize.

Some things to remember:

It's okay to start small. Like, it's tempting to dive right into a mega-sprawling epic of a fic with 100 chapters or whatever, but it's also okay to... not... do that. Try a fic with a few chapters instead. Build that muscle. Get used to writing beyond oneshots. Pre-built structures like 5+1 might help you build that muscle as well.

Sometimes you just gotta... do it. Like, that sucks, I know, it would be nice if there were an easy trick, believe me. Like, the fic I am procrastinating on is not a long one, but it's kicking my butt and it's so frustrating. But I'm getting it done a literal line at a time—for every ask I answer, I make myself hop over into my doc and write another line. Some nights I'm literally messaging Audrey like "I just want to get one sentence done before bed." And I stack one sentence after another until it's done.

It's okay to procrastinate a little. Emphasis on little. It sounds like you get stuck, procrastinate some, then don't stop procrastinating, but it's okay to give yourself a little break. My two biggest fics spawned so many other fics because I would hop from the chapter I would be working on to my distraction fic... until I needed to be distracted from that fic and then my chapter was the distraction!

It's also okay to combine the above methods. For Nature and Nurture, my first big fic, I used Method 2 allllll the way up to, like, the last three chapters or so. I was so scared of fumbling it all at the end that I switched to Method 1 for the last chunk, made myself write it ALL, and didn't post anything else until it was all written.

You can do it!!

#I need a general ask tag #fanfic writer problems #writing advice

[sssammich]

fanfic writer questions

Thanks for the tag, @foibles-fables

1- How many works do you have on AO3?

i'm at 122 right now (wahoo!)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

794,634 (i am on a mission to 1 million in the next couple of years)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

well i've been around many a fandom block, but i'd say for current brainrot:

supergirl (mostly supercorp, but i have a smattering of rare pairs because women, amirite?)

swan queen

bumbleby (i also still have so many rosebird dreams i'll get there someday)

makayuro (with a smattering of rare pairs also because women, amirite?)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

well unsurprisingly, ever since plopping down on supercorp fandom, the numbers have been from there. but shoutout to my victorious fic from 2012 holding strong lol

evergreen, closest i get, not for nothing, you've got mail, and one way or another

5. Do you respond to comments?

yes yes absolutely!! sometimes i am late and sometimes i just leave it in there so i can have it stay unread but anyway i try to respond and i appreciate everyone who sends them to me. i have historically been a oneshot writer so it's been nice also to get comments on wips!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh shoot angstiest ending?? well i think i would say my supercorptober ficlet about memory loss of sorts might tick that (it ends kinda idk open but not bad, i will say)

but then there's also this one old soccer RPF i wrote that's more, idk, poetry than any real fic about one of them leaving lmao

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

the happiest ending? i mean all of them, i reckon. if they end up together or have a promise of together then they count lmao

8. Do you get hate on fics?

uhhh none that i've seen? i mean if it's in the comments, no? but if it's elsewhere, then also no? i have been fortunate in that way

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

OMG YES I AM FINALLY IN MY SMUT ERA

uh i reckon comedy smut for now (read DickFic here) but the day is young and my doc is empty so who's to say

but i have dreams for some sad smut because i'd like to develop the range LMAO

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

surprisingly, i do not. what i instead do is just little spin through five fandoms at any given time and just confuse myself that way

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

unfortunately yes. twice now. once was for my victorious fic that was used for a 5th harmony RPF lmaooo

and then on thanksgiving weekend, the first chapter of Crepe AU was posted by an anonymous for a The Wilds ship (but my friends rallied to get it taken down so i didn't have to send a takedown form to ao3 while i was traveling home)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope but that would be totally rad

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i love fic writing group work so yes! i have a series of sad angsty women that i have with my best friend in my revue starlight fandom, and then, of course, @sideguitars and i have 'humans in the storeroom' (that reminds me it's my turn to write the next part smh)

i also like jumping into writing sprints or writing exercises with folks (like a round robin)

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

let's not do this, i shan't pick amongst my children

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

so far all my wips are things i wanna finish and will do my best to finish. i have a couple of retired wips that will just sit in my ao3 forever and i have made peace with them, though.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i wanna say characterization, pacing, emotional resonance, and a simple and natural writing style maybe

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

action?? plot??? proper AUs lmao

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i do not because i find i butcher it and also then i cringe lmao

19. First fandom you wrote for?

oh written for but never posted? hermione/ginny

posted for? god probably All My Children (bianca and maggie) when i was like a teenager hahahahaha

20. Favorite fic you've written?

sorry no can do i love them all because i wrote them and there are so many things i enjoy about them. but i will say that the writing events circuit i've done this past year (supercorp bigbang, bumbleby big bang, and swan queen winter solstice) are born out of a lot of labor of love and i'm really proud of the work i've done for them.

and not for a writing event, but i am also extremely proud of re:live for mayakuro fandom-- that one makes me think that if i never wrote for that fandom again, that that's a really good fic to end on)

No-pressure tags, of course: @sideguitars, @eqt-95, @fazedlight, @luthordamnvers, @vox-ex, and @waytooinvested

(yall have probably done this before but here it just in case!)

#fic writing meme #sam lore

[squippy360]

Just wanted to request Yandere Dark Dom Natasha with Depressed male reader because I'm fucking depressed right now. With fluff at then end (if you're okay with that and sorry if I bother you) I also can't figure out how it starts and how it end 😐

Natasha Romanoff x Depressed!Male Reader

Cw:(workplace harassment, sexual harassment, fluff, smut, praise, strap on, I hope you like it!)

You were just minding your own business at your workplace. It was your lunch break so, for once, you happily marched down to the break room. You had just got done with a whole bunch of work you had been procrastinating about and finally got it done so you could move on to all the easy stuff. You were actually enjoying your job for once…until a certain someone appeared. 

Another co-worker and my boss came into the break room. I happily took out my lunch and ate it. My boss came over and sat with me. We began to talk about small things as my boss waited for their coffee to finish making. He soon left after the beeping from the machine rang loudly in the air. They got their stuff and made their way to the door. The co-worker from earlier came over and sat near me. She struck up a conversation that started out talking about pets and animals, to our love life. 

"So, are you with anyone?" She asked. I smiled and stared down at my cup of juice/coffee/ect. "Yeah. I have a loving girlfriend." I said, daydreaming a bit. "Oh really? What's she like?" She said, scooting just a bit closer. I nervously squirmed a bit. "Uh…she's really nice and she takes care of me a lot. I really love her." I smiled a bit. She leaned over with a smirk and put a hand on my thigh, slowly moving it up. "I bet I could take care of you better~" She purred in my ear. 

I shivered and went to stand up. N-No thanks. I-I'm a l-loyal good boyfriend." I nervously said. She stood up and pinned me to the wall. "I want to make you my little lover~" she purred and bit my earlobe. I whimpered and tried to push her off of me but she was taller. "C'mon~ I'm sure I can get y-you to scream for me~" She teased. I flinched and broke away, running to the bathroom.  

I locked myself in and shakily got out my phone. I put a hand over my mouth and tried to steady my breathing.

"M/n? You usually don't call at this hour…" She said. "I-I know I don't get off for another 2 hours b-but I really need you right now…!" I sobbed out. "Hey, What happened? Are you hurt? Who did it? Please talk to me." She began. 

"A co-worker got to touchy with me…I wanna come home…" I whimpered. "Oh love, who is it?" She asked sweetly. "It's (C/w/n). The one who's married to Sammy…" I whispered. "Oh I see. Try and hold out for me, Love. I promise as soon as you get off, I'll be there for you, don't worry. You can talk to me until then." She said. "Ok…thank you…" I whispered. 

"So, what are you doing?" I asked as I stood back up to wash my face. "I missed you so much that I attached one of your shirts to my pillow and held it. You're just too cute. I couldn't help it. Everything reminds me of you." She admitted. I smiled sheepishly and blushed. "I just hope you won't mistake me for a pillow." I joked. "I would never." She chuckled. I heard shuffling on the other side of the line before I heard a door slam. "What was that?" I asked. "I'm going out to get some stuff." She answered. I pulled out my earbuds. I stuffed the wire in my shirt and stuck one bud in. "I'm going back to work but please keep talking to me. I feel like I'm going to pass out…" I breathed out. "Of course, Love. I'd love to hear your voice right now~" She hummed. 

I made my way out the door but stopped when I saw my boss. "Oh! S-Sorry boss. I-I was just heading back to my desk-" I got cut off by their hand. "Please. Take the rest of the day off. I saw what happened and I will make sure they deserve proper punishment and get fired. I have connections so they won't be working any time soon." The boss said with a smirk. "T-Thank you so much…!" I cried. They hugged me tightly and reassured me that this will never happen again. We went our separate ways and I got my stuff to head back home.

"So how are you feeling? Milk chocolate, Dark, or Milk and caramel?" She suddenly. I realized where she was now. "(Your option) please." I said and began my journey while partially listening to her tell me about her day and recent missions. We got 20 minutes into the call when I could hear her voice go lower and she started praising me quietly in my ear. 

"I wanna hold you so bad right now~ I wanna run my fingers through your hair. I want everybody to fucking know how much of a good boy you are for me~ All cuddled into me so comfortably." She whispered. I shivered and shakily got my keys and opened the door. I stumbled inside and took off my jacket, going straight upstairs to hop into bed. "Please get home soon…" I whimpered as I shoved all my clothes off and quickly hopped into my pajamas. I cuddled up in bed surrounded by soft pillows and blankets. 

"I'm 5 minutes away…I can see you all cute and curled up in bed for me~" She hummed. I blushed and hid in the mountain of softness. "I can see the pillow you are talking about." I giggled and poked at the pillow with my shirt on it. "What? You're telling me you don't have a pillow of me?" She teased. "Well…sometimes…" I mumbled. We soon hung up since Natasha was almost home and my phone needed to charge. I frowned as I held a pillow. It started out as small sniffling and quickly evolved into loud sobbing. 

"Love? I'm home!" She said. I sobbed louder and buried my face in the pillows. I heard her walk upstairs and open the bedroom door. "Oh Love…" She whispered and I heard her come over to the bed. I felt the bed dip in front of me and her arms wrapped around me. 

"Why do you even bother with me?! I-I'm practically useless and I-I can't even defend myself! You deserve someone way better and not someone as needy as me!" I cried. She pulled the blanket away from my face and made me look at her. "You have no idea how much I love you. I've always loved you. Even before we met. I've always loved you~ You were meant for me and me only. You are mine and I am yours. I don't care about other people. I can take care of them. I just want you. You're everything I need and more and I'm about to show you. " She whispered lovingly to me. I was about to ask what she meant by that but then she pinned me down to the bed. "I'll have you crying tears of pleasure in a few minutes." She promised. I shivered and put a hand over my mouth when she yanked my shorts off and licked her lips. 

I shivered and whined when her warm mouth engulfed my cock. "N-Nat…ngh. O-Oh…! P-Please, you know h-how fast I cum…!" I whined and gripped the bedsheets. "I know baby~ Cum then~ i'm not stopping anytime soon." She growled and pulled it something out from under the pillows. I looked within hazy eyes at the strap- on she had on. I squirmed in pleasure and whined softly. "Please Mommy…please fuck me with your cock!" I begged, knowing she couldn't resist me begging her with the puppy eyes. 

She smirked and lightly smacked my thigh. "Good boy~" She purred. I moaned at the praise and lifted my legs up. "Please~" I begged as she quickly put the strap-on on. I saw her put a vibrator inside her and she handed me the remote. "I know how much you love to please Mommy as well~" She growled and poured a lot of lube on the strap and my hole. I shivered at the wetness. "Mommy! Please! I- NGH!" I let out a sudden keen when she thrusted inside.  "Keep fucking moaning~ Your voice is so pretty~" She praised and slapped my ass. I turned the vibrator up a quarter and she let out loud moans. Her forehead rested on my shoulder and her hands intertwined with mine. 

I arched my back and screamed out when she bit down on my shoulder. "Everyones going to know that you belong to me~ I love you~ No one else is going to ever see you like this but me." She growled and marked up another part of my neck. "CUMMING♡" I screamed and creamed all over my tummy. She didn't stop at all and instead sped up. I screamed out loudly. 

"NATASHA! NATASHA! NATASHA! NATASHA!" I cried out with every thrust. I accidentally turned the vibrator all the way up and she moaned loudly in my ear. I gasped when I felt her cum drip down onto my body. My eyes rolled back and I couldn't help but cry. This time, it was from too much pleasure. My whole body spasmed when her hand touched my cock and jerked it hard. 

"N-NO! I-I'M GONNA CUM AGAIN! I-I'TS SO MU-MUCH!" I sobbed. "IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouILOVEYOU!"  She moaned and gripped my hand hard before cumming again. I was shaking and crying into a pillow when she flipped me on my knees and fucked into me hard. "OH!!! OH!!! OH♡" I screamed. She didn't stop at all. "God I'm so fucking horny for you right now. I can't stop." She purred and bit down on my neck more. 

I shook my head, trying to signal that I can't do it anymore. "P-PLEASE! CAN'T CUM ANYMORE! I-I CAN'T!" I begged. She slammed into me one more time and bit down on my neck hard as she came. I fumbled for the vibrator and turned it off. She fell on the bed and I collapsed In on myself. My eyes betrayed me and the last thing I saw before I passed out was Natasha moving my hair out the way before cleaning me up. 

Next up: HYDRA Steve x Male Reader Final

#natasha romanoff x male reader #avengers x male reader #x male reader #male reader #marvel #marvel fic #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow x reader #black widow x male reader

[kingwithpaintedfingers]

An Update on the Status of My A03 Fics!

Hihi! I have no idea if anyone who follows this blog reads any of my fics on AO3, but if you do, then you might like to know what the heck is going on with my fics, and why I haven't posted any updates in over six months.

First of all, I am alive! I wrote a lot of fics in the summer of 2022 when I had just gotten active in a fan server on Discord where there was a lot of encouragement to write fanfiction. In the spring of 2023, I started a medical assistantship course, and in order to keep myself focused in class, I turned off notifications for the server. And then I just kind of...didn't turn them back on???? In my defense, I was intimidated by the amount of time it would take for me to backread everything I missed, and that eventually snowballed into me just no longer looking at that server. I should honestly become active in it again, because it did a lot for my writing productivity. I also have a lot of hobbies both in real life and on my computer, and those take up a lot of my time as well. So that's why I didn't post much last year and haven't posted anything yet this year.

But I want to let you all know, that I do fully intend to complete the fanfics I have already started on AO3, and I do intend to write the sequels I promised a year and a half ago.

So without further ado, here is a status report on the incomplete fics and series I have on my AO3:

How to Live With Fire: One of my most popular fics! I have two sequels planned, and a rough idea of what I want to happen in each of them. Both of them are probably going to be only a few chapters long. The delay on this one is mostly on Part 2, since Part 2 has only the vaguest ideas of what I want to do with it (how Mortarion and Vulkan become a longterm couple, and how their legions react to this change). The trouble with this one is, I haven't read any Salamanders novels, let alone ones that take place during the Horus Heresy. I think I will at least have to read Deathfire for this one. I am praying that I don't have to read Vulkan Lives, since I understand that one has less tasty Salamanders content than I would like, and way more John Grammaticus than I find tasteful. But I will still try Deathfire at the very least, if I can find a physical copy at the library or a used bookstore or something.

A Matter of Trust: Another one that's going to end up being a trilogy. I have figured out what happens, now I just need to read the Plague Wars trilogy, because those events are going to be kind of important to the rest of the plot. Again, I'd like to read physical copies of the books so that I can flip through them easily. I'm going to see if I can find copies of the first two novels through the local libraries. Fingers crossed!

Until the Bitter End: Ohhhh, this one's gonna make me cry...this one is mostly hinging on me rereading The Buried Dagger and taking notes. Much lower barrier for entry for this one, since I've read it so often that I mostly remember where to find the events I'm looking for.

Lantern and the Child: This one is going to have like, a billion chapters. It's going to become episodic for a while, but I'm looking forward to it. In this case, it's a case of figuring out which characters I want to introduce. The idea of it being episodic is kind of exciting for me, because it feels like it will be a fun thing to do, and because it goes along with a writing conceit that my co-creator and I have for this AU, that it's the events of a theoretical (very dark) Pokemon anime.

This Once Nearly Was Mine: This one should literally be the easiest one to complete, I am ashamed that I haven't finished it. There's only one chapter left, and I don't even have to come up with all of the events. Again, this one is going to dip into Horus Heresy events that I haven't actually read, but I think I've heard enough from osmosis that I can skip most of it. I just need to, y'know, actually sit down and fucking write it.

Deep's Embrace: I've got an outline! And I've even got some scenes written out! As I type this post, I am preparing to submit chapter 2. I'm having a lot of fun with this fic, as you could probably all tell.

Anyway, that's basically it for now. If you have any questions, please let me know! And if you have any friends who you know enjoy my fics but aren't following me or aren't on Tumblr, please link them to this post so that they know just what the hell is going on with me.

#my fanfiction #ao3 fanfiction #warhammer 40k #warhammer 40000 #horus heresy #warhammer 30k #mortarion #calas typhon #vulkan

[yourbuddy1984]

Hello hello :) Just wanted to drop in and ask; I've been thinking abt watching someone play Buddy Simulator but my usual go to for indie horror games on YouTube hasn't played it. Do you have any recommendations for guys to watch? Ty :>

im happy to hear buddy sims sparked your interest!! i'm sorry to say i've never watched a buddy sim letsplay, i've only ever played it myself. maybe some of my followers have though, so i'm turning this question to them!!! my psionic warriors, help zyremida!!!! aid it!!! help zyremida dot com Now!!!!

if you're having trouble finding letsplays for buddy sim as a whole, here's one by mashe99, each video (many of them) is about 15-20 minutes long. another one i found is by RUIN, who has less videos in their letspay, that vary from 30-60 minutes. they also have a cover of one of the songs from the ost, so im willing to bet they felt Something about the game!! another one - though, its more of a playthrough? theres 2 videos and theyre both an hour long, is by gab smolders. this is the one i'm most familiar with, though only in the way that i've seen their thumbnails a few times lol. i've never actually watched the videos, but this is the one i'd rec most i guess? not for any solid reason though. there's also other playlists i saw out there (jesse cox) (mrkravin) (cadplays) (joystickjams) but those first 3 are the first that stood out to me as something i'd watch. i also cannot promise that any of these people have played all of the game. they may have gotten an ending and never played it again (there's 4 endings).. but if the game interests you enough after seeing an ending, you could watch somebody else get another ending..? there's also walkthroughs without commentary (1) (2) (walkthroughs for all the endings), and what's a walkthrough but a silent playthrough....

i also know that markiplier and call me kevin (dont think i have to link those) played the game - i know marikiplier didnt finish his (for this he will never see the lights of heaven (joking)) .. and .. i am unsure about kevin? he has three (i think?) videos on it, and one of the titles references a lategame thing, so i'm assuming he got at least near the end. i'm also assuming he got the 3rd ending if i remember who he is correctly (the guy that aims to get the worst endings in games, i think???? or is that somebody else...)

i am also legally obligated to say that buddy sim will have a different effect on you depending on if you watch it or play it, i think, as buddy wouldnt be Your friend, but some other guys - but i also understand that the game might not be avalible to you, it might be too much for you (understandable), you're not certain whether it'd be worth the money (if it's this, i recommend watching this 10 minute long spoiler free video on it - i recommend watching it either way, really!! i watched it today and i like it), or any other infinitely more nuanced thing. and all of those are ok!!! i just had to tell you or the curse would get me

#ask #sorry i cant be of more help 💔💔💔 #AND SORRY FOR THE LONG RESPONSE 💔💔💔my treacherous mind knows not where to stop #goddd i promise i tried to keep it short but then i thought “oh what if i find it some letsplays in case it cant find any?:)” #and then “oh right markiplier did one - and that ”buddy sim evolves“ thing too! oh this would be a good place to tell it that theseletsplay #might not be finished.. i should put that at the start too. oh and i cant not link the ghost trapped in the machine!! id be doing it a #disservice. and also a warning that the viewing experience will differ from the gaming. oh god oh fuck what is all this text on my screen" #if you have any questions. you know where to find me... the bloggerrr