#and then i mentioned how it’s weird that superman never deals with the joker | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bluejaywriter · 3 years

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Guess who re-listened to the entire ZSJL (all 4 hours)

Me. The answer is me.

Thoughts while listening to ZSJL the second time:

Intro/Part 1: “Should be called “The Amazons””

1. Philippus got the first line of ZSJL (“Alert the Queen!”), unless you count Clark going “URRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH” fifty times, or the Amazons going “OOH-AHH! when the motherbox first goes off.

2. Bruce “Vain” trolololol you probably think this movie’s about you, don’t you, don’t you

3. I wish they did more with Lois in this movie. I was pretty happy with what they gave to Iris and Elinore and the Amazons, but Lois did seem pretty stuck in her “mourning for Superman” mode. Which, okay. But also, ehh.

4. Also I only know Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds from that one Harry Potter scene.

5. Has anyone actually counted how many times the Ancient Lamentation Music™ shows up.

6. Why does Wondy’s theme have a cooler synth in this movie than in her movie that’s literally set in the 80s.

7. Have I ever mentioned how much I love Hippolyta? I should mention it more often. She deserves good things (better things than this damn universe seems to want her to have :P).

8. I love that Menalippe is the one calling the Amazons back to their marks. That’d be Antiope’s job if she were here :(

9. Damn even the Amazons get a cool synth theme.

10. But it really is interesting that Junkie XL went with a synth instead of just a straight-up orchestral sound, or even the more tribal sound he seemed to be going for in other parts.

11. I appreciate that the Amazon fighting sounds aren’t like… you know. How most female fighting sounds are in media.

Part 2: “Artemis needs her own movie”

12. I don’t like Steppenwolf’s voice

13. God I’m so glad they got rid of all the Joss lines :P

14. You’d think after 100 years in Man’s World, Diana would have some better excuses up her sleeve e.g. “I sat inside reading a book all weekend” or “I watched a vintage TV show” like God, Diana. Do better.

15. Every time they say “quarantine” in this movie I feel things I’m not supposed to feel.

16. I still don’t get the Aquaman song when he’s taking off his shirt. It just… is a weird fit.

17. I’m glad we got an Aquaman movie before this. It… would’ve been confusing without it. Like, who’s this random long-haired dude.

18. “Dessad, Dessad, I call to thee” is how I start Zoom calls now.

19. I really like Dessad’s voice. It just… it’s nasally enough to be, oh so it’s this character. You just know who he is from the moment he speaks.

20. I dislike WonderBat very strongly but like. Ehh. I get that people like it, and it’s more canon-supported than any of my ships, that’s for sure.

21. I kind of wish we’d gotten the scene where the Amazon turns into a parademon. Or whoever it was.

22. Just listening to the movie makes me realize how grunty Darkseid is. I wish he had some language (maybe he is speaking Apokoliptian? And I’m just uneducated?).

Part 3: “Ray Fisher needs to do audiobooks”

23. I think Barry/Iris’ song is the first one I felt like the pop song really worked with the scene.

24. The football scene was the first part in the movie where I was like, okay the soundtrack is pretty good. It’s not as strong or memorable as Hans Zimmer’s on the last two Snyder DC films, but it does a reasonably good job supporting the film.

25. Ray Fisher has such a beautiful voice.

26. The whole Cyborg sequence is one of my favorite things ever. 2nd or 3rd favorite scene after the Speedforce.

27. I don’t have a lot of patience for Barry, in general. He’s less awkward than in the Josstice League, but he’s still on thin ice.

28. I feel like Arthur’s background scenes are the weakest overall. It might be because we got an entire Aquaman movie, but I also feel like I would’ve been really confused if I hadn’t seen that movie first.

Part 4: “Exposition and stuff”

29. There’s really not a lot of dialogue in this movie. Like. A LOT of things are just visual storytelling. It makes just listening to the movie interesting.

30. Okay, but did anyone else think that Martha Kent had a stronger Southern accent in her scene with Lois? Like, I know it’s someone trying to do his best impression of a Kansas farmer, but... like, sometimes in the past movies she’ll have a slight Midwestern twang, but it’s never quite Southern, and it’s throwing me off.

30. I… get that Superman is like the big deal but it really doesn’t make sense to me that the Apokoliptians never came back in the 5000ish years that Superman WASN’T active. I mean he was only Supermanning for what, less than two years? You literally have a 5000 year-old warrior on your team, I wonder how we can utilize that time frame in a way that make more sense... :P

Part 5: “But what if I don’t care about Superman”

31. I just feel like the part where they’re bringing Superman back is the most boring part lol

32. I also don’t like that Lois JUST gets back on her feet and then… Clark shows up again surprise motherfucker

33. I’m curious what the point was of Aquaman pushing against waking up the Motherbox and Bruce pushing back. Like. Does anything come from that.

34. Okay. This is 1.5 years of writing the Goddess of Death talking, but I kind of strongly dislike that they brought Clark back like this instead of doing the honorable thing and actually going to the Underworld to beg for him back. Like. The JL honestly deserved to get their assess kicked for trying to cheat Death like that. Also it would’ve been cathartic for Arthur’s “no one getting back without trading one in return” line to come into fruition with Bruce dying and then Clark getting his memories back immediately afterward when Lois appeared. Take that Batman

35. Batman, you dumb fuck, the safeword isn’t “Clark” or “This world needs you” it’s “SAVE MARTHA”

36. I’m bored.

Part 6: “The Flash scene”

37. Honestly, am I the only one who doesn’t care about Superman? He’s a side character in this movie. Give me more Cyborg scenes. He just lost his father for God’s sake. Why didn’t we get the scene of Victor figuring out how to get the plane to fly?

38. Although, I have to say when Supes shows up it’s a fun fight. Did he have to punch Steppenwolf so many times tho. It’s fucking brutal.

39. I have no complaints about anything. Forget everything I ever said. This Flash scene. God.

40. Oh good, Cyborg is back. Let’s stay with this guy for a bit. He’s neat.

41. I love that Arthur and Diana both got their dues for Steppy attacking/tormenting their respective peoples.

42. A Hall of Justice/recap scene would’ve been nice. Like we didn’t actually get to see all six of the League just sitting together (eating pie at Ma Kent’s diner) and celebrating.

43. I’m so glad the outro is Silas instead of Lois. It just feels right.

44. I actually prefer Henry Allen’s “Look at you go” line to the “His foot’s in the door” bit. Don’t tell anyone I said that

45. HI DUSTY

46. Man… I hope they don’t kill Hippolyta in a future movie (says me who’s killed Hippolyta in most of my own DC universes)

47. Why does the fake Luthor have such a Joker-esque laugh.

48. I don’t actually care about the Joker. Maybe if I did, then I would care about this scene.

49. Well that was fun.

ALM* final count: 19 appearances

*Ancient Lamentation Music

#ZSJL #gotta watch it a few more times before it leaves HBO Max #this is kind of crack #I actually might've missed one or two ALM counts because I was working at the same time #but still #And I really do like this movie a lot! I'm just having some fun with it #:P

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highly-opinionated-ramblings · 4 years

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Batshipping masterpost

Sometimes asking yourself the question “what would it take for me to ship these two characters together?” helps you come up with really really good stories that you otherwise might never have thought of!

Very fun writing exercise. Do recommend.

ANYWAY. I like Batman, so I asked myself this question about him, and these were the results!

(Featuring: Catwoman, Riddler, Twoface, Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, Azrael, Mr. Freeze, Clayface, Superman, Wonder Woman, Martian Manhunter, Flash, Green Lantern, Green Arrow, and Aquaman)

What would it take for me to ship Batman with that character? A few key ingredients:

If they are/were a villain, a redemption of sorts. A slow process of coming to terms and actively deciding “yeah, that’s not who I am anymore.”

A connection, a distinct moment where they’re able to talk to Batman as more than just an old enemy or a League ally. A spark that generates interest in developing the relationship further.

An establishment of explicit trust. This usually comes in the form of Bruce revealing his identity to the other and trusting them (maybe tentatively at first, but even so) not to give it away.

An introduction to the kids. I am one hundred percent positive that this is, for the vast majority, not a voluntary action on Batman’s part. But if you raise nine kids to be detectives, you can’t expect to keep secrets from them for long! And once they know you’ve been sleeping with that former villain, you’re going to have to justify that to them somehow.

Then the whole cycle starts again as the villain redeems themselves in the eyes of the kids and gains their trust and acceptance too. Good stuff.

Note: my interpretations of these characters are entirely my own and by no means do all of them line up with any sort of canon. I just sort of do whatever.

Also: some of the bullet points below address some of the mental health problems in the villains, so proceed at your own discretion.

Catwoman: I really like the Gotham tv show’s dynamic between Bruce and Selina, which is to say, they were childhood friends with an early attraction to one another, but had a falling out sometime around the very beginnings of Bruce actually becoming Batman. She spends a few years as a professional thief. He sends her to prison a few times. But eventually she settles down and opens up a casino or whatever, where she deals information under the table. Alfred and the kids know her these days as an ally rather than enemy. So it’s just a matter of her realizing that her attraction to Bruce is deeper than originally assumed, and that if she wants to be with him she has to really dedicate herself to that idea, and for him to realize that she’s being serious and that he needs to prioritize spending time with her over obsessing over his work.

Bruce takes his mask off dramatically, saying something along the lines of “it’s me, Selina” and she’s like “yeah I know.” “What?” “You do this thing where you pace back and forth and nod your head up and down when you’re thinking. Never known anyone else who did that but Bruce Wayne.” “...Oh.”

Childhood friends interpretation is also great because Alfred already knows her and likes her. And she has all these embarrassing stories about 14 year old Bruce to share, which means that even the most resistant of the kids warm up to her right away.

Riddler: the first line in his Arkham file is that he has an obsessive need for attention. And Bruce KNOWS that. But it takes years for it to occur to him, incredibly sleep-deprived and staring down one of Ed’s death traps that he really, really doesn’t want to deal with today....what would happen if he just, y’know, gives it to him? The attention that he wants? And the results are instantaneous. It’s like the floodgates are open and Ed just can’t stop talking. It starts out snide and derogatory, the same way he usually talks to Batman, but the longer it goes on the more it deteriorates into something oddly helpless and vulnerable. Bruce has been so used to cocky, swaggering Ed that it never really occurred to him that this was someone suffering, who needed help. So he sits down and does his best to convince Ed that he’s not going to take him in (how many times has he been sent to Arkham? And what good has it done him, really?) and they talk. He leaves out of necessity (bank robbery in progress, says Barbara’s voice in his ear) but he goes back the next day, and again after that. Ed gets attention from Bruce without having to resort to crime to get it. Bruce gets a break from head busting and an outlet for some of the stale energy inside his head. They tell each other riddles and play strategy games and get to know each other, for real this time.

Ed stops worrying so much about proving that he’s smarter than Batman. Instead he channels all that energy into uncovering Bruce’s secret identity. It’s just another one of their games. Bruce has kept that secret for a long time and he’s confident he can keep it up, but Ed’s always alert waiting for him to slip up, to leave a clue

Option 1 for how he finds out: he sets up an elaborate trap, making it seem like he’s in danger and the only way to save him is for Bruce to take his mask off, so he does. Ed is outraged. “REALLY? BRUCE WAYNE? FUCKING REALLY?” he yells, dropping all pretense of being in danger. The robots he made for this setup drop like puppets with cut strings. Bruce gets ready to Fight.

Option 2: Some other villain reveals Bruce’s identity before he gets the chance (Arkhamverse style). Ed is outraged. “HOW DARE YOU LET ANYONE ELSE BUT ME DO THAT” he yells while Bruce tries his best to ignore him and focus on calling the JL to fix the whole situation somehow

Option 3: Bruce just tells him. Ed is outraged. “I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE TO FIGURE IT OUT YOU IDIOT”

The kids are Not Happy about Bruce dating Gotham’s Most Annoying Super Villain

Twoface: again I gotta go with the whole ‘they were friends when they were younger and Bruce had a raging crush on him’ setup. Cause that adds a whole layer to Bruce’s part of the story, watching Harvey become Twoface and assuming responsibility for locking him up every time he gets out. One day something happens in Gotham- string of murders or something, it’s not important really what it is. Bruce goes after the person responsible and his trail leads him to Harvey. So he busts into the safe house, intending to intimidate anything Harvey knows out of him, and then throw him back in Blackgate. “Ohohoho, noooooo, you got this all wrong,” Harvey says when he figures out what Batman’s getting at. “That motherfucker put a dozen of my men in the ground. This is personal. You want me to tell you what I know, you’re going to take me with you.” And Bruce agrees. Cause he knows Harvey’s got a certain moral code that he can be trusted to stick to, and it’s the most painless way of getting what he wants from him anyway. Working with Harvey is weird, though. He shoots a couple of goons going after Batman and gives him that lopsided smile, says “I’ve got your back,” and suddenly Bruce is like 20 again and Harvey is bringing him a coffee, smiling. During their chase they have a dramatic rooftop showdown with whoever it is they’re chasing. Bruce turns around just in time to see one of the thugs push Twoface over the edge. He gets caught up in the moment and practically screams, “Harvey!” Of course, he’s able to dramatically swoop in and save him, though it’s a pretty close call. When Harvey comes to he sits up and says quietly, “It’s been a long time since anyone’s called my name like that, did we have that kind of relationship?” and Bruce panics and tries to brush it off as his imagination, but Harvey shakes his head and says “once you’ve seen it, you can’t unsee it, man. It’s you under there, isn’t it, Bruce?” And it turns out that knowing Bruce’s real identity turned out to be exactly what Harvey needed. Cause he can identify some of the duality he feels about himself in Batman, now. They spend some more time together, talking some of that out, and it doesn’t take long for Bruce’s crush to return en force.

Poison Ivy: He lets her go. He knew she was at that scene, and she knows he saw her, but he lets her go, cause it wasn’t a big deal. No one died, relatively little property damage, and that jerk deserved it anyway. The next day there’s a potted plant sitting on GCPD’s doorstep and they call Batman thinking it might be dangerous, but it’s just a lovely specimen of a rare flower, which he knows is her way of saying thanks. (He doesn’t let the police know that, though. He just puts it in the back of the Batmobile and tells them it’s nothing he can’t handle). He takes it home with him and treats it well. And she knows it, can kind of sense it, distantly. They have a few more run ins over the course of the next few months and they take it easy on each other, having this sort of mutually unspoken agreement. Eventually something happens for her to need to talk to Batman, so she digs her roots in deep and finds that flower...in the garden at Wayne Manor. She leaves a message for Batman and they meet up and talk about whatever she needed. She doesn’t mention the Manor, so he asks about it. She just shrugs and mentions something about Bruce Wayne’s recent efforts in protecting the environment. “Maybe we’re not as different as I thought, after all.” They give each other more little presents from afar. One day she sees him hanging around (where she knows he knows she can see him), and drops by to talk. He offers her a ride home and ends up spending the night.

This one I think he owns up to before the kids can figure it out. Pam’s a good source of information, and if he was desperate he’d call her even with all of them watching. They’d all think he’d been bewitched, of course. It’d take a while to convince them all otherwise.

Harley Quinn: all it takes is for him to get his first glimpse of the real her and decide that Joker victims need to stick together and help other Joker victims. After the breakup and the subsequent recovery, she’s living free (albeit under Constant Surveillance) in Gotham, and he checks in every once in a while, just to make sure she’s doing ok and not reverting to her previous, Joker-driven, rocket-fueled bad habits. One day there’s an incident in her neighborhood- maybe someone was going after her and Bruce was there protecting her, or maybe it wasn’t related to her at all. Regardless, it’s her who finds him after the explosion and takes him home and gives him first aid. He’s groggy and panicky when he first wakes up in a strange place (not a hospital, not the cave) with an IV drip in his arm (he’s not in a hospital, where did that come from!). It gets worse when he realizes that his mask was blown right off his face in the blast. It gets SIGNIFICANTLY WORSE when Harley appears in his field of vision, waving around a tablet pulled up to Bruce Wayne’s wikipedia page, in full psychologist mode, ranting about how he’s been going about dealing with his childhood trauma All Wrong. But they talk, and she promises not to give his secret away. “What would I have to gain from that? You’d stop coming to visit me then!” It takes a while for the two of them to figure out exactly what’s going on between them but once they’re both sure the others’ intentions are good, they develop a good, strong relationship.

Bonus points if, at any point in the above time space, she walks up to him one day and hands him an unmarked usb drive. “What’s on this?” “My daughter.” “What.” “My daughter! Her location and everything about her.” “Is she...Joker’s?” “I dunno. Could have been him or any one of a number of other guys. Mistah J threw some really wild parties. *shrug* The only part that really matters to me is that she’s mine. And if anything ever happens to me, she’ll need someone to look out for her, y’know?” “And that’s me???” “Well, helping people in need is one of your compulsions, after all. Especially kids, or else you wouldn’t have so many of your own.”

I usually imagine Jason as one of the ones kind of sticking up for Batman, citing how crime has all but disappeared since he started sleeping with whatever particular villain and that who are they to police who Bruce shares his bed with anyway (BONUS bonus points if he’s just entering the early stages of coming to terms with his own bisexuality and never realized that Bruce was bi, too), but that wouldn’t be the case with Harley. He’d feel pretty hurt about that, I think. On the other hand: Dick has been around since Harley’s debut on the scene, and has always thought of her as relatively harmless and even respected her to a degree, as a fellow acrobat, so he’s cool with her dating Bruce

Azrael: His JL team goes on hiatus for a little while, so he calls Bruce up like “uhhh, I don’t really have much of anywhere else to go, so can I come back to Gotham for a while?” And Bruce tells him that they’re actually experiencing a pretty calm stretch for a change, but yeah, he can come if he wants. At first he’s excited because he’s never been invited to the actual, og Batcave, but there really IS nothing going on. He meets Alfred, who offers him tea. He meets Steph and Tim, out of masks, lounging on the couch playing Street Fighter. They assure him that if literally anything happens, one of their gajillion alert systems will let them know. He goes off in search of Bruce, finds him sitting at the kitchen table making his way through a veritable mountain of paperwork. Eventually he admits that he doesn’t really know what to do with himself in the downtime. “I usually try to use time like this to do things for Bruce Wayne, instead of for Batman,” Bruce explains. “You should do something for Michael Lane, while you have the chance.” “But...but...but I’ve been Azrael full-time for years now...” “Alright, well, what did you like to do before you were Azrael?” “UHH...” Before he can short-circuit too much trying to come up with an actual answer to that question, Bruce puts aside his paperwork and takes his arm. They get in the car and Bruce takes him to like a hobby shop or something. They buy model kits and a cookbook and some yarn (”one of the kids can teach you”), and he promises that one of these days they’ll clear some space on the lawn to play football. Michael hasn’t experienced this level of anyone caring for his well-being probably ever? and all he can do is stammer something about “is there anything I can do for Bruce Wayne in return?” “You can keep me company while I file all my paperwork, I guess.” So he sits at the table across from Bruce and builds his little ATAT model kit feeling happier than he has in a long time. Bruce can tell that a little more attention would do him good, so they spend some more time hanging out which leads to having some deep conversations and building up feelings for each other, it’s all very cute

Right at the beginning of Michael developing his crush on Bruce he realizes that something’s different, but doesn’t quite realize what it is, and his mind jumps to the worst case scenario right away. He locks himself in his room, calls Bruce at work, panicking, and says he thinks his St. Dumas brainwashed obsession with Bruce might be coming back. Bruce tells him to calm down, they’ll run some tests. All the tests come back negative, but Michael is visibly shaken, so Bruce offers for him to hang around Gotham a little longer so they can monitor him, which is what leads to his extended stay in Gotham

Mr. Freeze: One day something changes. One day the realization finally, finally clicks into place. There’s a huge floating JL base in the sky and aliens living on Earth and people coming back from the dead and healing from miraculous injuries and plagues all the time. If it was going to happen to him, it would have happened by now. It’s over. Nora’s not coming back. That day he laces up his boots and loads his gun and walks over to the little diner on the corner and wrecks it. Batman gets the call, and obviously he knows that something’s different, this isn’t Vic’s MO, but he goes anyway, of course. Vic blasts away at him with his freeze gun, wildly, recklessly, screaming and ranting the whole time. Bruce dodges out of view, and Vic transfers his aggressions to the nearest object in sight: a table. He blasts that thing in half, and then in half again, and keeps going until it’s nothing but splinters and he’s just standing there, gasping for breath. “Victor,” says Bruce from behind him, “tell me what’s wrong.” “Nora’s dead,” Vic mumbles under his breath. Bruce comes around to face him and Vic is looking at him with THE SADDEST puppy dog eyes he’s ever seen. (I know what you’re thinking right now. “Mr. Freeze can’t do puppy dog eyes.” You’re WRONG, I’m telling you) “That’s the first time I’ve ever said that out loud, I think... I d-don’t...I don’t know what to do…” and Bruce is like, darn, I can’t take this fool to jail. So he brings him back to his chilly lair instead and sits him down and talks him through it a little. Leaves him with a phone number to call if it gets real bad again, but makes the first call to check up on him later anyway. This one is a sloooow burn, it takes Vic MONTHS to get over Nora, couple weeks to realize he MIGHT? be developing feelings for Bruce, couple more weeks to wrestle with the guilt of that. Learning Bruce’s identity is the thing that really brings all of it to a head. Maybe there’s an attempt on Bruce Wayne’s life and later that day Batman shows up with the same pattern of lacerations on his cheek, or broken leg, or whatever. Vic’s not an idiot. He can put two and two together. When Bruce finally takes off the helmet in front of him, it’s a huge relief. To be able to say “I know what it’s like to lose people” and for Vic to know he’s not just talking about heroing. They get closer and closer from there. Their relationship is a weird one, with a lot of compromises to make, but they do the best they can.

The kids don’t particularly mind Bruce going out with Vic. He’s not so much a villain as he is just a guy who’s been dealt a bad hand in life and done the best he could with it. But having around makes the already-cool cave soooo much colder, which isn’t so fun.

Clayface: There hasn’t been an incident with Clayface in years. He’s older, little calmer, little more mature (I like the New 52 plotline of him joining Kate’s crime busting team, but this little scenario works even without that part thrown in). Still, when Bruce hears he’s back in town, he figures he should probably pay him a visit anyway. Just in case he’s planning something. But he goes to the address he was given, some apartment building in Kingston, opens the door, and finds Basil. Not Clayface, Basil Karlo, sitting in a chair by the window reading a paper. “Haven’t seen that face on you in a while,” he says, still unsure if it’s a trick or not. “Oh,” Basil shrugs, unsure if he should be worried about being tossed in jail again or not. “Well, it’s my face. The one I’m most familiar with, takes the least amount of concentration to keep up with. I did make some changes, though, see? Few gray hairs, few lines on my face. Do I look older?” “Yes. It’s a good look.” He keeps checking in with him, cause you can never be too careful, and then because he actually starts to enjoy Basil’s company. Their relationship is one of the more light-hearted ones on this list. They get wine drunk and make out on the roof of the apartment building, very giggly.

“If I learned anything at Arkham, it’s that there are some things that you know are wrong with you, but there are also things that are wrong with you that you aren’t even aware of, and that you couldn’t identify or fix even if you tried.” “One of the psychologists told you that?” “No. I shared a cell with Tetch for a few weeks. That dude is so much more messed up than you realize.”

Superman: Clark calls him up saying something about a mystery in Metropolis that has everyone stumped, and maybe the World’s Greatest Detective wouldn’t mind helping him out? So Bruce drops by to lend him a hand. The ‘mystery’ turns out to be a group of unfamiliar aliens who’re out to get Superman (I don’t care why. Maybe they’re holding some kind of grudge, maybe they’re bounty hunters, maybe they want to sell him off into space-gladiator slavery, whatever). These antagonistic aliens have been very careful in their preparations- they’ve done all the math, and come up with special weapons specifically designed to hit Superman hard enough to knock him out. But they didn’t plan on Batman being there with him, which throws them off just enough that Superman is able to chase them off successfully. In the midst of that fight, though, Bruce takes a hit. A hit calculated for Superman. It breaks several of his ribs and punctures a lung. Clark panics, scoops him up and flies him to the nearest hospital at record speeds. They’re able to stabilize him at Metropolis, and then they send him back to the Watchtower for further treatment. When he wakes up he’s pretty disoriented and confused, but Clark (who had been listening for a change in his breathing and heartbeat from a couple rooms away) comes rushing in, ushering him back to bed and promising to explain everything. Bruce is woozy and wonky enough from whatever drugs they gave him that he lays back down and lets Clark hold his hand protectively without argument. He listens to Clark’s explanation, mumbles something about calling Alfred, and promptly falls back asleep. Clark feels so guilty about his injury that he won’t leave his side for weeks, even following him back to Gotham once he’s well enough to leave the Watchtower.

“God, when will they finally just kiss already,” Jason says, taking cover with the rest of the family in the cave. “I know, right,” says Steph while Tim, Cass, and Duke (and Alfred) all nod in agreement. “SHUT UP,” yells Damian, having a hard time adapting to the idea of his dad and his best friend’s dad getting together

Any Superbat is good Superbat but I enjoy it best in the context of ‘they’re old enough by now to be embarrassed about how angsty and competitive they were when they first met, and they both have huge extended families, and the rest of the JL has been watching them dance around each other for YEARS, JUST KISS ALREADY DAMMIT’

Wonder Woman: I don’t usually imagine Bruce as a flustered kind of guy, but Wonder Woman is everything he wants to be when he grows up and he can’t help it. She’s so effortlessly cool, calm, and collected. And she’s a natural charmer, the public loves her. She always manages to come at things with a fresh perspective that has helped unstick his too-logical train of thought numerous times. She paid him a compliment once and he sat in the batmobile in the parking lot thinking about it for like twenty minutes. One day they get assigned to a League PR thing together that turns into an assassination attempt (surprising no one), but everything turns out ok. Minor damage to the surrounding buildings, a few people injured in the mass chaos, that’s all. She goes looking for him after returning from talking to the local cops, and finds him with a toddler girl on his hip, holding hands with her six yo sister, helping them look for their parents. And she just has to stop and marvel for a minute at how soft his voice is??? How the toddler isn’t even crying??? He bends down to hug the little girl bye after returning her to her fam and Diana almost has a heart attack. “I see that the gods have blessed you with an affinity for children of all ages,” she says. By the time he straightens back up he’s Batman again. “What do you mean by that?” “I can never get kids to warm up to me like that in situations like these...I always thought it was because I was just too big and imposing. How did you do it?” “Oh. Well. You know. *gestures vaguely* You just gotta give them what they want.” “And what is that?” “Security. A promise of safety from an adult that they can trust.” She doesn’t quite get it but she watches him, and talks to his sidekicks sometimes. It amazes her how much kindness and love are hidden under that mask of his. When he smiles from the heart he could melt glaciers. So she starts to press, just a little, just to see how he’ll respond. And once she figures out exactly how flustered he can get, too, it’s all downhill from there.

Martian Manhunter: This one is literally one of the sweetest, most pure relationship dynamics I think I’ve ever written, which really caught me by surprise! The way I think of it is like this: When they first meet, Bruce is really, really uncomfortable with the idea of having J’onn in his head, so J’onn tries to keep telecommunication with him to a minimum. So when Bruce gets his attention during like a meeting or something and subtly lets him know he needs to talk, J’onn knows it must be important. So he opens up a private channel and helps Bruce deal with whatever it is (I don’t know exactly what that would be, only that it’d be some kind of sensitive topic best kept between the two of them). And over the course of that, all those one-on-one mind convos, Bruce starts to get used to talking like that with J’onn. In return, while they’re working together, he helps J’onn get used to human physical contact. It starts with small things- handshakes, little pats on the shoulder- until J’onn is comfortable returning them. One day J’onn has a bad day and it’s Bruce that comes to find him, to comfort him. He doesn’t really say anything, just puts his arms around J’onn and holds him close. Most humans- and hell, even most Martians- wouldn’t have done that for him. What else was J’onn supposed to do but fall in love with him?

I really liked the scene in JL8 where J’onn was trying to, like, share a memory with Bruce or something, and instead he ended up unintentionally stumbling into some of Bruce’s trauma memories, which freaked both of them out pretty badly. I think that little scene would fit quite nicely into this scenario. Bonus, if it happens in the really early days of the League, it doubles as the moment when J’onn first learns Bruce’s secret identity.

Flash: It’s been a longtime headcanon of mine that Barry is very active in the Central City community, not just as Flash, but as himself, too. Namely, he spends a good deal of his free time volunteering with the local homeless shelter slash food bank. I mean, come on, just by the very nature of his powers, is it any surprise that he has a vested interest in ending hunger in his community? One day he stops Bruce in the hall in the Watchtower, and clumsily explains that he needs to ask a favor. The shelter has been looking to expand their operations for some time, but right at the last second one of their backers pulled out. They’re short 7k for the payment on the property they needed to make tomorrow, and Barry didn’t know where else to turn to get that much money that quickly. He promises to pay him back, somehow, eventually. Bruce cuts him a check right there for 10k, and tells him to consider it a gift. Later he even publicly endorses the program on social media, saying he thinks Gotham should implement something similar. Barry invites him down to see the building he paid for, so Bruce rolls up his sleeves and spends the day volunteering with him. It’s a chance for both of them to see a side of the other that they’ve never seen before. Bruce watches Barry shine like a ray of sunshine, bringing light and laughter to a room full of people at their very lowest. Barry watches Bruce inspire trust and confidence in complete strangers, like magic. Not to mention, that smile- Barry tries not to use his powers out in the open if he can avoid it, but he discreetly flashes over to stop a tray or something from falling, and of course it doesn’t escape Bruce’s notice. He grins at Barry from across the room and Barry’s heart fully stops for a second.

I like to think of Bruce as a little older than Barry. Just a little, just a few years. Just enough that Barry always feels like an inexperienced, incompetent baby in the face of The Batman

This one throws the kids for such a loop once they find out about it. “THIS is what you’re attracted to, Bruce? THIS???”

Green Lantern: what I know about Hal is that he’s sassy. And what I know about Bruce is that if anyone he doesn’t have the ability to tell to go to their room is sassy with him, he gets snippy. So he and Hal butt heads a lot. One day Hal is venting to Superman in like, an elevator or something about how Bruce just Doesn’t Get It, Clark, He Doesn’t Understand Me, and Clark says, “well, Hal, can you honestly say that you understand him, either?” And suggests that maybe he should spend some more time actually getting to know Bruce before passing judgement. Hal takes that to mean ‘maybe I should go to Gotham and spy on Batman for a day’. When he spots him doing his best to hide inconspicuously on a nearby rooftop, Bruce rolls his eyes and ignores him. Dick spots him too, though, and invites him to the cave in hopes that maybe they’ll be able to settle whatever their argument was about (Jason, Tim, and Steph break out the popcorn and get themselves front row seats for the Drama). But in the end, an up-close perspective was exactly what Hal needed to realize that there was more to Batman than had been meeting his eye. He watches Bruce juggle ten different comm feeds while giving a press conference AND directing his kids’ efforts in the field at the same time, and he earns a new respect for Bruce. He gets where he’s coming from now, and why he’s always so cautious all the time. The guy has a lot to lose. So he mans up and apologizes. Bruce accepts the apology graciously, says he realizes that they’re fundamentally different people but that he values Hal as a comrade and respects his prowess with the ring, and Hal is like, ‘ah. We Are Friends Now.’ He spends more of his time on Earth with Bruce, and along the way he trips and falls headlong into a debilitating crush on him. Like, a visibly obvious crush. Bruce finds it adorable.

Green Arrow: Bruce and Ollie get invited to the same billionaire shindig one day and neither of them can think of a good enough reason to not go. Ollie’s recovering from a bad ankle sprain, and Bruce hasn’t slept in days, so instead of socializing with anyone else there they just sit in the corner and hang out with each other. Midway through the event Bruce closes his eyes and does this forceful little sigh through his nose. Ollie knows him well enough by now to know that small outward signs indicate big amounts of internal emotions with Bruce, and this is about as frustrated as he’s ever seen him out of mask. Normally his act is impenetrable. “What,” he asks, imagination running full speed ahead thinking about what might have happened, “what’s wrong?” “Firefly just broke out of prison,” Bruce growls, reaching for a refill of whatever he’s drinking. “Wh- Wait, who?” “Pyromaniac, serial arsonist in Gotham.” “How exactly did you learn this?” (read: do you have some kind of spider sense I don’t know about?) Bruce just gestures to his microscopic earpiece. Ollie offers, probably against his better judgement, to take a trip to Gotham and help catch Firefly. Bruce, barely able to see straight at that point (bad combination of sleeplessness and alcohol), accepts. So Ollie gets the full treatment, a trip to the cave and tea from Alfred and a haranguing from the kids and a trip to Blackgate with Firefly, even. In return he offers to have Bruce over in Star City sometime. Ollie is usually a little on edge around Bruce, but then he starts to see the real him and finds out that he does, in fact have a sense of humor. They have goofy adventures together and it’s all very cute

Aquaman: Arthur is hotheaded and when he gets in a Mood, the sight of Bruce and his stupid unmovable face just makes him angrier. But once during a mission, when Arthur is busy working himself into a panic, not knowing what to do, it’s Bruce that snaps him out of it. Grabs him by the shoulders and demands that he get a hold of himself. And it’s enough of a shock that it actually works- Bruce tells Arthur the plan, and Arthur does it without argument. No one is more surprised when it works than he is. He is SHOOK. Eventually he swallows his pride enough to go up to Batman and admit, “I think I’m still too emotionally invested in this, can you help me?” Bruce agrees, of course. He does his best to explain how he always keeps his emotions in check, especially when lives are on the line. It occurs to Arthur to wonder what kind of toll that takes on a person. He decides that Bruce could probably use a little vacation of sorts, and invites him to spend a day with him in Atlantis. A day in the life of a king, if you will. Bruce rolls his eyes and agrees, just to play along, but he ends up really enjoying it. Yes, there are a dozen-odd irons in the fire waiting for him when he gets home, but this time he finds that he actually has the energy to deal with them for once. Which is a good enough excuse to go back and do it again, and spend more time with Arthur in the process.

Dami is usually super resistant to Bruce dating anyone, but he would be ok with Arthur, I think. Like, “you bagged a king? Ok, respect”

Extra notes:

I feel like a lot of my thoughts about Clayface and Martian Manhunter specifically could also apply to Killer Croc, too, in a way. I mean, he’s not EVIL. He’s just never really been treated like a person, and so he embraced his image as Killer Croc instead of continuing to face that rejection. But if anyone can look past his exterior and see the needs of the man within, Bruce could. Feels a little weird to think about but maybe there’s something there.

Polyshipping is GREAT may I interest you in some ot3s??? SuperWonderBat is one of the more obvious ones, and I love it (cause Diana gets to play with TWO flustered boys) but BatLanternFlash is also top tier. And then there’s the villains! RiddleBatCat is one of my favorites! Also TwoRiddleBat and BruHarlIvy. The possibilities are endless!

I considered adding Lex and Slade to this post, but in the end I left them off. Cause it’s hard for me to see those as anything but weird, inherently unhealthy relationships. They’d make great black ships though : o

When talking about Bruce dating someone else from the JL, there’s DOUBLE the kids to embarrass. Can you imagine you’re like, Roy Harper or something, somebody’s sidekick, and you walk in and find BATMAN in bed with your mentor???? WILD

This post really got away from me, haha. Thanks for reading! Hit me up if you ever need someone to talk about Batshipping with (especially rarepairs, I got you fam)!

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teentitanimals · 4 years

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Helena Kyle-Wayne History

The history of Helena Kyle-Wayne based on how I see her! Ties into this Events Timeline :) I might call this Batfam au Earth Never? Maybe? I’m kinda already attached to the name lol

Helena Martha Maria Wayne was born to Bruce Wayne, age 42, and Selina Kyle, age 45, on Earth Never-Two. Her grandfather Alfred Pennyworth was 67, her half-brother Damian Wayne was 13, her adopted brother Tim Drake was 21, her adopted brother and sister Jason Todd and Cassandra Cain were 24, and her adopted brother Dick Grayson was 29. Growing up she learned acrobatics from her eldest brother, how to hold a gun from Jason, how to be silent by her sister, hacking from Tim, animal taming and katana wielding from her favorite brother Damian, how to defend herself from her father, and how to be sneaky from her mother. Needless to say, from a young age, she was pretty skilled, and being raised in a house of detectives, them attempting to keep their secret lives as vigilantes from her didn’t work, as she knew about it from the age of 6 and onwards. By age 14, she became the new Robin under her father.

She was best friends with Kara Kent, aka Supergirl, who was a few years older than her, and Charles Bullock, aka Blackwing, who was also a few years older than her, and was an intern at the law firm created by her father, her eldest brother and a man named Arthur Cranston, aptly named the Cranston, Grayson and Wayne consumer research firm. The three made an excellent team, and were practically inseparable.

Aside from Kara and Charles, though, Helena greatly looked up to the woman who shared her name, Helena Bertinelli, aka the Huntress. This earned Helena the affectionate name of Little H, or Little Huntress, from Bertinelli and others. Helena as Robin often ended up shadowing Huntress more than Batman. She also got along really well with Charlotte “Charlie” Gage-Radcliffe, a young adult who was like a daughter to Bertinelli. It should be noted that the Birds of Prey never existed in this universe, and Barbara Gordon never became a superhero. In this universe, Charlie mimicked the identity of Huntress rather than Batgirl, before creating her own as Misfit. No Batgirls exist in this universe, but Stephanie Brown still became Spoiler- never Robin, Cassandra Cain simply became Black Bat and then Orphan, and Bette Kane never became a superhero, nor did Carrie Kelley, Tiffany Fox or Nell Little.

At one point, a man named Silky Cernak tried to blackmail and frame her mother for killing a cop as Catwoman, but with her and her family’s help, they cleared her name and revealed the truth, arresting Silky.

Eventually, when Helena was 16, a war against Apokoliptians, lead by Darkseid, started, which resulted in a war torn world. Batman, Wonder Woman, and Superman were all killed during the war, as well as Tim Drake and Helena Bertinelli. Her family grieves them, and Dick takes up the mantle of Batman, and Damian makes his new superhero alias Redwing, a combination of Red Robin and Nightwing in honor of his brothers. Charlie became the new Huntress. By age 18, everything had way gotten worse, and Charlie was killed, and Selina soon followed. Helena then became Huntress, while Kara became Power Girl.

At age 20, she, Kara and Charles chased after someone who they assumed was Darkseid, but they would later find out was DeSaad. The trio attacked DeSaad, but in the process Helena entered a Boom Tube while Power Girl and Blackwing fought DeSaad. Helena would never know how the battle ended, though, as the Boom Tube sent her to Earth Never-Prime. She was stranded, and alone, in a world so similar to her own, but not war torn, and just slightly off. She was a Bat though, and she was well-trained. She laid low and studied the world, learning that Batman was still Bruce Wayne here- and that Bruce Wayne was still 42. And that she had never been (or simply yet to be) born, as Bruce and Selina were not even married like they were in her world, with Selina still acting as the criminal Catwoman. In this world, Darkseid had been defeated already.

She stole money from Wayne Enterprises to get by, just for meals, hotels, clean clothes, etc. Scrounging through Wikipedias can only get you so far, so she took to spying on her family and friends and other superheroes and... finds that she can’t handle it. For the most part, they look so happy. Yeah, Jason’s an asshole, and Damian’s so young and angst-y, but... They’re a family, not split by death and war. Every night, she seems to end up in tears, jealous of this world and wanting her world back- no, her family.

Her secrecy does not last long, as she can’t stop herself from jumping in to help her family (Batman, Robin, Nightwing) when they are attacked by the Joker. She attempts to run away after the battle, but her moves and tricks are the exact same as the Batfamily’s, so it ends up impossible for her to lose them. They interrogate her, and she ends up confessing she’s not from this universe. She tells them she’s a Huntress of another world, but not much else. They’re skeptical of her, seeing as the moves she used would indicate she was close enough to train under and with the Batfamily, so why would she be ‘a’ Huntress (of which they’ve only ever had one)? She asks if they could go to the Batcave or somewhere to talk, instead of staying out in the city. They agree, and ask her to lead them to the Batcave, which she does with ease.

There, she confesses more of her story, revealing she was the daughter of Selina and Bruce, and that Darkseid was currently waging war on her world- and winning. She allows them to run a DNA test on her, and the results match up. They believe her story. They offer to help her get back to her own world and also to house her while she’s here. She thanks them, and offers to help them patrol and protect Gotham in return.

Living in Wayne Manor was... weird, and more often than not she’d end up crashing at a hotel or something instead. Damian was 13, younger than her, and still very... well, Damian. And there was a kid that had never been apart of her family too, Duke Thomas, and also allies like Harper Row, Julia Pennyworth, Barbara Gordon, etc... And it was weird living among, to her, ghosts. Zombies. Dead people. She was afraid to get attached to any of them, because they weren’t hers, and she’d go back home, where some were dead or dying, and she’d mourn them all over again. Not to mention, Tim was now only 1 year older than her, Jason and Cass 4, and Dick just 9 instead of 29.... And Dick was even married to an alien princess named Koriand’r aka Starfire- where he was Barbara’s boyfriend in Helena’s world- and they had a daughter named Mar’i. And Jason had adopted a girl named Sasha, aka Scarlet. And, also, perhaps this stung most, that her best friend was no longer the same age as Helena. Which meant that even if Helena had been born in this world, she wouldn’t have been Kara’s friend. And similar with Charles, who was a simple citizen in this world.

While talking to this world’s version of her mother, Selina reveals to her that a Helena had been born in this world, but her father was Sam Bradley Jr. (deceased), and she was born nine-ten years ago. Her name was Helena Kyle, but since Selina was under the alias Irena Dubrovna at the time, her legal name was Helena Dubrovna. She had brown hair and green eyes rather than the black hair and blue eyes Helena Wayne had. Helena is surprised to know of this universe ‘her’, although really it’s her other universe half-sister. She wants to meet her, but Selina explains to her that after the villains Film Freak and Angle Man kidnapped and harmed Helena Kyle, she, Zatanna, and Bruce faked Helena’s death (and Irena Dubrovna’s) and put her up for adoption. To make sure no one could ever find Helena via Selina, Selina choose not to know who adopted her (if she officially got adopted at all and was not still in an orphanage). Helena Wayne accepts this and understands her reasoning. Even she had been kidnapped plenty of times back in her home world, Earth Never-Two.

It’s a year of living like this. She talks with the Selina Kyle of this world, with Helena Bertinelli, with Zatanna Zatara, with everybody. She still closes herself off though, calling Bruce “Uncle Bruce” to distance him and her father in her mind. By the end of the year, a part of her realizes she��s never going back... and another part wonders why she would even want to. She could have happiness here. But, at the same time, to give up her friendships with Power Girl and Blackwing? (And what if they were dead by now?) It’s difficult, but finally, with the advice from her other universe family, she decides she wants to try making a life here, just in case she really never can go back. Of course, Bruce offers to adopt her, but Helena can’t bring herself to fully accept this world’s Bruce as her dad yet, nor could she handle being official, legal siblings with her brothers and sister. She still hasn’t adjusted to them, how they are now, how young they all are, how younger Damian is. If anything, she’s most okay with Duke Thomas, someone she had never met in her universe.

To her surprise, as they contemplate making her a fake civilian identity, Selina offers to adopt Helena. Helena, after thinking it over, accepts. She would not have as much hounding from the press, from the media, from the public, as she would if she was adopted into the Waynes. She would not have to deal with the weirdness that was her alternate universe siblings as much, living with Selina. (Not that she needed to live with Selina, she was 21, after all, but Selina had told her that she was welcome to crash in her house anytime- an offer she often took up on when the Manor was stressing her out.) Selina was still a criminal in this universe, but she only robbed banks from time to time, really, nothing major, and she was slowly becoming more hero and ally than superthief by the time Helena had come to this world. Selina had been dead for only 2 years to Helena, while Bruce had been for 4 years, and had died when Helena was young and not used to death. Bruce’s death had a bigger impact on her (alongside Tim and Bertinelli’s), but with Selina, it was easy to imagine she had simply been gone for two years.

So, Helena became Helena Martha Maria Kyle, adopted daughter of Selina Kyle. She slowly built herself a civilian life, working for a law firm under Wayne Enterprises in honor of her friend Charles and his job. And a superhero life, too, as the Huntress. Of course, since Bertilleni was also known as the Huntress, Helena often went by Little Hunt. They called her Little H and Little Huntress at first, but it reminded her too much of her old world, that she requested they use Little Hunt instead. It was similar, of course, but just different enough. Just like this world was compared to hers.

She worked solo, with Catwoman, with the Batfamily, and with the Birds of Prey mostly. It was a challenge, she would say, to adapt back into the old rules of “No Killing”... It’s a dark secret of hers that she became more ruthless ever since the death of her father, blood soaking her hands. But she was almost relieved to be back to No Killing- as, to her, it meant no war. No death. No pain.

Catwoman seemed to reform completely right alongside her, and the day Bruce proposed to Selina, Helena couldn’t be more happier. She was finally ready to be officially apart of the Waynes again. Selina married Bruce, and Helena took on the Wayne name, becoming Helena Martha Maria Kyle-Wayne, loud and proud. It was weird, but somehow she got used to Damian being younger- and boy did she discover how fun it was to tease him. And alongside that, she got two new younger sisters too, in the form of Carrie Kelley and Alina Shelley-Wayne. Her family, she will say, was much, much more bigger than it had ever been in her own world.

Eventually, as years passed, she found herself more attached to this world than her war torn world. She often wonders, if given the chance, would she still choose to go back to her old world, her old family? It’s a question she can never answer. And one she might not have too, as the Kara of Earth Never-Two would eventually find a way onto Earth Never-One.

Name: Helena Martha Marie Kyle-Wayne

Gender: Female (She/her)

Parents: Bruce Wayne (Biological father; legal step-father), Selina Kyle (Biological mother; legal adopted mother)

Adoptive Step-Siblings: Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Cassandra Cain, Tim Drake, Alina Wayne

Half-Siblings: Helena Kyle (Current name unknown), Damian Wayne

Adoptive Step-Nieces and Nephews: Sasha Todd, Mar’i Grayson, Jake Grayson, John Grayson II (on Earth Never-Two only)

Hair Color: Black

Hair Length: Long

Eye Color: Blue

Aliases: Robin, the Huntress

Nicknames: Helly, Hel, 'Lena, Hello Kitty, Little H, Little Huntress, Little Hunt

Robin Run: 4 years

Huntress Run: 4 years and ongoing

Reblogs appreciated <3

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bigskydreaming · 4 years

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@dargeon-lissa I saw your note on that post, but I’m afraid I don’t have the time or energy to dive down that particular rabbit hole this week, lol. I generally avoid getting into the ‘who stole what from whom’ arguments in the first place, just because I really do love all the Batkids when fandom isn’t getting in the way, and I firmly believe there’s no need to treat characteristics or even plots as though they can only belong to one character.

So like, I happily butt in when someone says something like “YJ Dick’s hacking is stolen from Tim” because like, its not like its a knock against Tim to point out that “no, Dick’s been portrayed as an expert hacker since before Tim was created, they can both be great hackers, stop being dumb.”

And like I was saying just the other day where I think its stupid and juvenile to emphasize some idea that Dick never reads for pleasure or educates himself for the joy of learning, because some people seem to think that takes something away from Jason, if they’re also writing him with an emphasis on those characteristics.

That sort of thing.

The rest of the time though, I think it really just comes down to intent, otherwise its just a moot point.

Like, I’m not a fan of Court of Owls fics that center around Tim and basically transplant him with all of Dick’s canon connections to it....but that’s because its like...what’s your point with that fic? If its just because you like the Court of Owls and Talon plotlines but you don’t like Dick, so you’re just cut and pasting one swapped out for the other, then you’ve lost me, not because you’ve ‘stolen’ from Dick, but because you’re not doing anything NEW with the material you’ve applied to a new, different character...while disregarding its source connections.

*Shrugs* I don’t think that’s about being possessive of Dick’s storylines, its about being like....this is boring. If someone wrote a fic about Tim and the Court of Owls but doesn’t just use him in place of Dick, and still acknowledges their connection to Dick instead of trying to pretend like it or he doesn’t exist...in and of itself, I don’t have a problem with that, it just comes down to whether or not I like what they do with that. Much in the same way that I’d read fic about Dick going up against Ra’s in some specific plot, but if its set after a point in the comics where Tim’s stories started intertwining with Ra’s a lot, I would still want to see that acknowledged.

Because I do think its disingenuous to pretend that Tim’s stories don’t use Ra’s a lot more regularly than Dick’s canon stories do, even though Dick has prior interactions and stories with Ra’s that go way back before Tim existed. But like....these things don’t need to come into conflict. I can imagine a story that’s Dick vs Ra’s and that doesn’t take away from the respect (or his creepy version of it) that Ra’s has shown Tim as well. He’s allowed to regard more than one of Bruce’s kids as a worthy adversary, and it makes sense that he would. It doesn’t threaten Dick’s central role in a story like that, or his competence, to allow for the fact that Ra’s has a preoccupation with Tim as well, even if that’s not his focus in this particular plot.

And by the same token, if I were to write a story that springs out of the events of Robin: Year One, for instance, where Dick gets tangled up with Ra’s and Talia and the League because of Vengeance Academy or Boone, something like that.....and I don’t even mention Tim, because its years before Tim would have come into the picture....that’s not me stealing anything from Tim, because those prior connections existed, why shouldn’t anyone make use of them?

Oh fuck it. I clearly went down the rabbit hole anyway. Whatever, more under the cut. Why am I like this.

It goes both ways too. Yeah, sure, I think its dumb when Jason stans act like focusing on Dick’s death takes something away from the typical focus on Jason’s, like he’s less special now or this is Dick ‘stealing Jason’s thing.�� Its comic books. More characters have died and come back then haven’t. Few have their death and return be as central to their character as Jason’s is, like, the Death of Superman is an iconic story but even with that, Clark’s death and resurrection isn’t like....regarded as a fundamental part of his stories....but that doesn’t mean no one’s allowed to write stories that focus on the deaths and returns of other characters, for whatever reason.

That’s not taking anything away from Jason’s stories, its not copying him, and neither is the way Dick was believed dead for a year like, a rip off of when Steph’s story went the same way prior to that. Characters believed to be dead being revealed as alive is an equally long-running comic book trope. It applies to far more than just the two of them, and no one has proprietary claim over it, its about what you DO with it.

Now, stories that focus on Dick’s death and how he was believed dead and revealed otherwise.....that involve the rest of the Batfamily and make a point not to mention any parallels with Jason or Steph’s stories, act like nothing similar ever happened with them....then I’d be equally wary of that story because I’d be like...why? What’s the point in pretending there are no parallels, acting like Dick is the only one this has ever happened to? He doesn’t need to be, in order for it to have impact, so enough with this Highlander “There can only be one” philosophy.

Like, Dick’s one of the most iconic DC characters and has been around for 80 years. He was going to die and be brought back at some point. Deal with it. It was always inevitable, just like its pretty inevitable that its going to happen to Tim for real at some point too. It just hasn’t yet.

All that said....there have been a number of stories over the years that have posited Dick being killed by the Joker and coming back as Renegade or Red Hood. Similarly, I have no interest in reading those, not because I’m opposed to a Renegade storyline or an exploration of a darker version of Dick, but because they’re usually just a blatant cut and paste job. *Shrugs* I’ve already read that story with Jason and UTRH. I liked that story, with Jason and UTRH. Why do I need to read the same story, just with Dick now instead of Jason? I’d rather read something brand new.

Then we get to ‘stealing characters.’ Like Jason stealing Kory and Roy, and Dick stealing Kon in YJ, etc. I have the same philosophy here as I do about characteristics....its weird and not cool to me to treat characters as having ‘claim’ to any other characters...but that doesn’t mean I always like when this happens either. But its not because they’re taking what belongs to another character, its about why, and what they do with it.

Like, when its a cheap grab of established characters being now associated with a different character to give them a supporting cast with minimal effort, as opposed to building them their own supporting cast with time and care and putting thought into it...THAT’S my problem with that. I don’t typically like Jason being besties with Kory and Roy, either in canon or in fanfics....but that’s not actually because they’re Dick’s friends and can’t be Jason’s too, its because I don’t like the stories that result from that, and I don’t think they make a case or put any effort into convincing me that this needs to be a trio....the way the comics have decades worth of stories establishing a connection between Dick and Roy and Kori and Dick, and with that being why they’re so associated with him.

I don’t like Jason, Roy and Kory in canon because I just don’t like the New 52 versions of Roy and Kory period, lol. I hate what they’ve done with them, they feel watered down and tweaked in ways that add nothing to their characters, and their association with Jason irritates me not because it exists, but because of how rarely it allows their association with Dick to exist, and acts like mentioning him in their stories threatens the validity of them being with Jason. You wanna write them being Jason’s friends, DO THAT. But put some EFFORT into it. JUSTIFY it. And....don’t erase their connections to Jason’s brother because they’re not allowed to have connections with two brothers at the same time or whatever. Like, even without all their pre-Flashpoint history, New 52 Roy and Kory SHOULD show way more of a connection to Dick than their stories with Jason ever allow for, and that’s the bigger issue to me. Not that Jason ‘stole’ them, but that writers act like he can’t have stories with them without pretending their stories with Dick don’t exist.

Even in New 52, like, the Rebirth version of Titans was crap, lol, but it still existed, and like....there’s hardly any acknowledgment of Dick and Roy being long time teammates even AFTER the Titans got their memories of each other back in Rebirth. Even if they’re not the best of friends in New 52 the way they were in Flashpoint, they still had way more history in even current canon than Jason’s comicbook writers or fic writers seem willing to allow mentions of. Similarly, we barely know anything about Dick and Kory’s relationship in the New 52....but we do know they HAD one, and fucking amnesia was involved there too, lol, but like. It exists. You want to write her mostly hanging out with Jason now, fine! But like....there’s no reason her past with Dick can’t still exist, and that it would never come up.

Instead, I read way too many fics about Jason, Kory and Roy where the latter two just fucking full on hate Dick, because the writer does. Or just act like he’s a total stranger to them and their loyalty is solidly with Jason and always has been and always will be. And that’s cheap and lazy writing to me, and makes no sense and wouldn’t appeal to me even if it wasn’t Dick that was being bashed and it was a different character in a similar context.

So its not like they CAN’T be good friends with Jason, because they were such good friends with Dick first. Its just...factor that in, at least, you know? But admittedly, even were writers to do this more, it still wouldn’t be ideal IMO, with these particular characters....because I’m always gonna wonder WHY. Why them? Why these two in particular, when giving Jason more friends? Like, especially if you’re still incorporating large amounts of pre-reboot history into your characters, Jason and his dynamics with Dick and the Batfamily in particular.....its always going to be a little weird to me to have Jason of all people become besties with one of his big brother’s most iconic and longterm friends, and his big brother’s ex-fiancee and mother of his child in other timelines.

Like....its just a matter of....you couldn’t come up with anyone else? That’s why when I headcanon giving Jason more friends and teammates of his own - BECAUSE HE TOTALLY DESERVES THEM AND I WANT HIM TO HAVE THEM, I AGREE, LOL - like, I focus on characters who have no strong connections to Dick or Tim or anyone else in the Batfamily already. And its not because I don’t want to steal what ‘belongs’ to anyone else already, but because....Jason should get to build and have strong connections with characters on his own. I’d rather look through DC’s vast library of characters and find ones that I think FIT him best, have the most potential to play off his character and add to his storylines....then try and take a shortcut by seeing who’s been popular with his big brother but isn’t currently being used in big brother’s storylines, and thus can become besties with Jason without needing to put too much effort into writing that happening.

And that’s why I don’t have a ton of interest in writing Jason with Kory and Roy....because I still prefer their dynamics and history with Dick and don’t really feel they make a ton of sense to go live with his younger brother instead, so I’m happy to just have them friendly with Jason, maybe even the friends of Dick’s he’s closest too and they’ve occasionally teamed up on their own....but for Jason himself, I’d rather build him connections with Tomcat, Damage, Ray, Jade and Obsidian, Anima, maybe the aged up version of Chris Kent....characters he has a blank slate with, no prior strong associations with his older brother that innately make any connection Jason has with them at least somewhat complicated....people I feel he could play off of well and they could add a lot to each others’ characterizations and storylines, and I can easily and without conflict write them being fully in Jason’s corner in ANY kind of disagreement with even Dick or the other Titans....without there always being this weird edge where its like, are Kory and Roy on Jason’s side here just solely for his sake, or is it also because they’re pissed at Dick or the other Titans for their own reasons, or what’s going on here?

Now jump back to where I brought up how YJ Dick has been accused of stealing Kon from Tim. Like, this I think is fully dumb, and again, people can think its because I’m a Dick stan and think he should have everything lol, but its exactly what I’ve been saying all along. Its about what you do with the characters. And its about that none of them belong to any other character in the first place.

Like, can I just say I hate the whole ‘so and so needs their own super, their own speedster, their own archer’ mindset? They’re not collector’s items. They don’t go up in value once you have a complete set. If you’re trying to configure a team and make sure you have certain different archetypes and powersets because of what that allows for narratively? I’m all on board. But once you start going well Kon is Tim’s super and Jon is Damian’s....then I’m like. LOL. No. Kon is Tim’s FRIEND. Jon is Tim’s FRIEND.

And also because...that’s all Connor actually is, in Young Justice? He’s Dick’s FRIEND. And teammate. He’s not “Dick’s super” because tbh, I don’t see how he’s any more closely associated with Dick in YJ than any of the other original core cast. He’s got the exact same degree of closeness and familiarity with Dick in YJ as he does with say, Artemis. Did Artemis steal Kon too? Or are they just all friends by virtue of the YJ showrunners deciding to make Connor one of their age group, because they wanted their team to have a character with connections to Superman and Lex, not because they wanted Dick to have his own Super.

*Shrugs* And if you don’t like moving Connor to a different age group and generation of heroes in and of itself, that’s a valid complaint! But it doesn’t need to be about Dick stealing something from Tim. I hate that Raven and Beast Boy were aged down in the New 52 and the more recent animated movies and are more in Damian’s age group than Dick’s.....but that’s because I love the classic 80′s Teen Titans lineup and miss Raven and Gar’s dynamics with ALL the older Titans characters. Not because Damian stole them from Dick. I also hate Vic on the Justice League because it was nominally supposed to be to boost his profile but I think its only resulted in a regression in his stories as while a Titan, he had a LOT more narrative focus and a lot more character connections than he’s ever been given since being made an original Leaguer in the New 52′s version of the Justice League. And I don’t hate the JL for stealing Vic from the Titans, I hate the DC editorial staff for making dumb, flimsy creative choices in the name of headlines and hashtags instead of solid character choices and strong narratives.

Like, I went off for a bit there, admittedly, but god. I just hate this whole ‘so and so stole this and that from so and so’ in fandom, because its so pointless, IMO. And people take it so faaaaaar.

LOL, you know how I talk a lot about shipping Dick/Kyle? I’ve had people accuse me of ‘stealing’ Kyle from Jason....because enough people ship Jason/Kyle on the basis of the one comic they were in together and had tension in, that he’s now apparently ‘Jason’s’ and the only reason anyone could possibly have for shipping him with Dick is because Jason’s not allowed to have nice things.

I can’t even express how dumb that sounds to someone who’s been shipping Dick and Kyle ever since there like, two interactions in the Obsidian Age JLA arc that came out years before Jason was even brought back in the comics, let alone starred in a comic with Kyle. Where absolutely, yeah, he had far more interactions with Kyle than Dick and Kyle have ever had! But like, there’s not a fucking quota for non canon ships, lmao. Its not like whoever has the most interactions with someone gets to call dibs.

There’s a whole laundry list of reasons I ship Dick and Kyle together, based on their core characterizations and their storylines, and various parallels I’ve seen in both over the years. And any story I wrote with the two of them as a couple would absolutely reference Kyle’s previous history with Jason and Donna in Countdown, and have him have his own interactions and dynamics with the two of them, separate and distinct from what he had with Dick. And none of that has anything to do with wanting to ship him with Dick because he’s usually shipped with Jason and I’m jealous and want him with my fave instead, lol. I actually do ship Jason and Kyle as well at times, in other story ideas, and that actually has very little to do with their Countdown interactions as well. If anything, the reason I ship Kyle with both Jason and Dick in different scenarios is because I’ve always seen Dick and Jason as very similar in a lot of regards....and thus they both share a lot of the characterizations and story points that I parallel with Kyle’s, and are what makes me think he’s a viable love interest for either of them.

To wrap this up, I can FEEL the inevitability of someone out there saying “Big talk, but what about you insisting that Jason STOLE Robin from Dick?”

Like, I can just FEEL that on the tip of someone’s tongue, lmao.

And to that I would have to answer....uh....I’ve never ever ever even once said or suggested that Jason stole Robin. I’ve always maintained that the fault there was Bruce and Bruce’s alone, and its Bruce who has something to account for there. From an IN STORY perspective. Because of the CHARACTER reasons for Dick feeling protective and possessive of the mantle, not for any meta reason about it being his and his alone.

Because I do like all of the Robins. I’m glad all of them were Robin. My repeated insistence on stressing the importance of the name for Dick, and hating how little that’s acknowledged...is literally just that. I can like all of the Robins and still think that as the creator of the mantle, and having created it to honor the legacy of his first family, the Flying Graysons, NOT to be an extension of the Batman, I just happen to think that even with all of the Robins sharing in the legacy at this point and adding their own bits to the mantle and what it means and represents, Dick’s motivations for becoming Robin in the first place and the fact that he was not the one given the choice of turning it into a legacy is something that deserves to be upheld as the most important factor in narratives about passing on the mantle and conflict over the mantle.

Not because Dick’s the best Robin or the most important or anything that requires or suggests RANKING the Robins according to some completely arbitrary set of parameters....

but simply because Dick’s creation of the mantle and his reasons for doing it and what it meant to him from the start and to this day....are the most RELEVANT to stories about the passing on of the mantle or conflict about the mantle.

Because simply in terms of causation....without Dick’s motivations...the mantle they all fight over would not even exist. Voila. That makes them innately relevant to any discussion of the mantle in a way that say, Tim’s motivations for becoming Robin aren’t necessarily relevant to a conversation about the mantle between Dick and Jason, or Jason and Damian, or any other variation not involving Tim. Dick’s motivations are the only ones that always bear relevancy in anything pertaining to the Robin mantle, because he’s the singular commonality for it, no matter who holds it and how they got it....because he’s the one who created it.

That’s all. Its got nothing to do with best or favorite, its about....just wanting fandom to stop treating his feelings about Robin as the most irrelevant, when he’s the only single common denominator wherever Robin is concerned....and thus the most relevant.

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loopy777 · 4 years

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whats your thoughts on Venom, the green goblin and doctor octopus, the three characters who are generally held up as spidermans archenemies? which one do you think has the best potential as spidermans definite enemy if they were written perfectly, and which series do you think had the best portrayal of each of them respectively?

If I had to crown THE Spider-Man Archnemesis, I would have to give it to Green Goblin. Doc Ock is the oldest, and the first to both defeat Spider-Man and make him consider quitting, but ultimately Norman has taken more from Spidey, gotten more personal in their conflict, and created more of a legacy for the mythos. Sorry, Otto.

That said, I don’t really like designating a single archnemesis for Spidey because Norman hasn’t completely dominated the field. Ock runs the Sinister Six, Spidey’s big Villain Team and one of the best Villain Teams in all of superhero comics. (And let’s face it, the Legion of Doom is bigger only because DC characters got more media exposure for a long time and Superman’s villains are so good that Lex Luthor, Brainiac, and Bizarro lift up the likes of Solomon Grundy and Cheetah when they’re all on a team together.) Venom has the whole Evil Knockoff thing going and a unique and terrifying ‘stalker’ gimmick that puts him in a special class, not to mention how he directly overpowers or counters all Spidey’s abilities.

And, honestly, the whole ‘Goblin’ gimmick is kind of arbitrary and has nothing to do with spiders. Clowns and bats don’t have a direct relation, but at least they’re opposites in terms of color and purpose, so Batman and Joker kind of seem like twisted rivals. Goblins and spiders are only linked in that they’re both kind of Halloweeny, but Spider-Man has little to do with Halloween or spooky stuff, anyway. But I better cut this line of thought off before I start explaining how Spider-Man shouldn’t be Spider-Man at all and him being Frog-Man would make just as much sense and then we wouldn’t have to deal with pictures of icky spiders in all Spider-Man media.

But yeah, Norman Osborne is still indisputably a cut above the others.

Ock is really just a typical mad scientist with a robot-arm gimmick that allows him to directly fight with Spider-man. He’s well-written and constructed, granted, and I love how his arrogance contrasts with Peter’s humility, how they’re such opposites in terms of empathy, and how different their paths become after science-based accidents that granted them unusual powers. Bendis’s “Ultimate Spider-Man” comics nicely honed in on this theme, and I also appreciate how both Stan Lee’s prose story in the unrelated “Ultimate Spider-Man” short story collection (...it’s a title Marvel loves to reuse for some reason) and John Byrne’s attempted origin revision linked the irradiated spider to the explosion that created Ock. All great villains should be dark reflections of their heroes, but while Ock has gotten some great stories that make him a top-tier villain, he still offers little storytelling potential beyond his mad scientist archetype. Now, I know what comics-readers are thinking at this point: Yes, I did read the original “Superior Spider-Man” run and I think there’s some real potential there, but honestly I feel like it was under-served by Dan Slott’s pacing and foibles. And I haven’t seen an adaptation of it yet that I think really fulfills the possibilities. But the idea is great, so maybe Otto will get his chance to level up his rivalry with Spider-Man.

Venom’s problem is that he’s a little too focused on his revenge on Spider-Man. The stories where he stalks Spidey, wandering into Peter’s life to fold laundry with Aunt May, popping up to have a surprise tussle with Spidey just to throw him off-balance, etc- Those are great and make Venom seem super-scary, especially since Spidey can’t beat Venom in a fight without some kind of edge or gimmick. But all Venom wants is revenge on Spidey, so after he’s failed a few times to get it, what do you do with the character? He’s not scary if he keeps failing. The original idea was to have the symbiote pass on from Eddie Brock and take on other hosts, and that might have opened the door for some new kinds of stories. I know this was eventually implemented 20 years later, with the original Scorpion getting to be Venom for a while, and symbiotes becoming a whole Thing with a bunch in various colors, but I didn’t read any of those stories and they don’t seem to have left much impression on the general Spider-Man fandom. Ultimately, it was chosen to ‘redeem’ Eddie Brock and make Venom into an “anti-hero” (for a definition of the term that means “protagonist who kills people but doesn’t have to worry about that whole ‘consistently laid low by their fatal flaw’ thing”) which did sell a bunch of comics in the 90′s and set up some tension-filled team-ups with Spidey. Nice idea, if implemented in a really shaggy way, but -- again -- what do you do after that? Venom/Eddie isn’t really a compelling lead who you can keep telling stories about. (Yes, I saw the Venom movie. It has like two minutes of amusing material and two hours of boring dreck, and none of it is memorable.) And making him evil again runs into the same problem as having left him evil in the first place. Venom was a good idea whose time came and went, and perhaps someone will find a way to make him fresh again. But until then, I think he gets by more on his visuals than anything.

The Green Goblin, in contrast, has a lot going for him in terms of storytelling potential. He’s a mad scientist, a wanna-be crime boss, a dark shadow of his civilian identity looking for revenge and/or illicit thrills, and personally has that ongoing personal hatred/rivalry for Spider-Man. That offers a whole bunch of storytelling paths, all of which have been taken and proven fruitful over the years. And that’s without getting into how Norman Osborne is the father of Peter’s best friend Harry, a flawed father figure to Peter in his own right, a ruthless millionaire industrialist before Lex Luthor gave it a try, and another dark reflection of the paths Peter could have taken in both aspects of his life. Even when Norman is dead, his legacy continued to be felt for 20-odd years with how Harry fell from grace. You can even link Norman to his spin-off the Hobgoblin; just Norman’s equipment getting passed on created another enduring villain. And, again, that’s without even looking at Norman’s murder of the one-time romantic lead Gwen Stacy being the event that ended the Silver Age of comics. Norman Osborne is just plain a truly great, versatile villainous character who has managed, despite being almost 60 years old, to still maintain an “Oh, no!” impact among Spidey fans when he shows up. Sure, there have been bad stories about him, and some over-exposure at times, but that hasn’t diminished his impact or ongoing potential.

As for portrayals, I’m overall a fan of the 90′s animated series and their takes. That show really petered out after a few seasons, but it introduced Ock with a bang and got a lot of mileage out of him. Venom got to do the whole scary stalker thing, and then the show put him on a shelf until his ‘redeeming’ death to avoid over-exposure, so that worked out fairly well. And while it’s odd how Kingpin and Hobgoblin took over most of the Green Goblin’s role in Spider-Man’s stories, what we did get of Norman was good, and the performance that went into the Green Goblin really sold the weird psychology of the character. Those three villains definitely got a chance to shine in this series, even if Green Goblin was under-used.

I also think the Sam Raimi movies overall did a good job. Green Goblin was perfect- aside from the costume. Willem Dafoe utterly nailed every aspect of the character, right down to the body language, and the movie did a good job condensing his rivalry with Spider-Man into a single movie. As for Doctor Octopus, I’m of two minds about how he got a sympathetic backstory and characterization. On the one hand, it made him a more compelling character and Alfred Molina danced nicely between the human side and the villainous side. On the other hand, though, Ock has classically never really been sympathetic; he’s an utter monster in behavior, and the insertions of bullying in his backstory have never changed that. Venom is the only one I think didn’t really get a chance in these movies; I like this version of Eddie Brock (really!), but he barely got an opportunity to be Venom and you can tell no aspect of the character really inspired the storytellers.

Spectacular Spider-Man, naturally, did a good job. I think this version of Green Goblin is the best of them all; I even got my DVD set signed by Steve Blum! Ock was also done well, getting to be the Master Planner as well as leader of the Sinister Six, although I don’t think I quite buy the timidity they gave the character before the accident. Similarly, I didn’t buy Eddie’s fall from grace as Peter’s best friend; one episode he’s upset because Peter’s blowing him off for hanging out, and the next episode he’s nearly killing Mary Jane just to mess with Peter. You might as well just start with Eddie being a monster, like the Raimi movie did.

I also think Bendis’s Ultimate comics did well by all three characters. I’m not really a fan of Goblin-Hulk, but Norman’s impact was fully in effect (even if we had yet another toothless homage to Gwen Stacey’s death with Mary Jane getting thrown off a bridge and surviving), and they fit him well into the Super-Soldier Arms Race aspect of the setting. Ock got some really great use, including an arc of character development and ‘redemption’ that still managed to allow him to be an arrogant monster to the end. Venom was under-used, but this might be the best ever interpretation of Eddie Brock and obviously inspired the Raimi version, and I love the origin of the symbiote here and how it tied to Peter’s father. My only complaint is that after that first great story, Bendis didn’t seem to quite know what to do with Venom; the video game and its comic adaptation seemed to be setting him up for more, but that didn’t come to anything.

So, those are my thoughts. As a Spider-Man fan, I think I’m spoiled for choice in picking an achnemesis. Despite the little flaws that keep Ock and Venom from topping the Green Goblin, they’re still heavy-hitters as comic book villains and could run the game in the rogues gallery of most other superheroes. But Spidey has one of the best sets of villains in the business, so that’s not surprising.

#thekingofwinterblog

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obliviontomars-blog · 5 years

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The Group - Chapter 01

So here's the deal: it's my first fanfiction ever. I will continue if you guys give me some feedback (I need to know if this sucks or not).

Hope you can enjoy and have as much fun reading as I did writing :D

The food was all set. Vegan, healthy, sugarish, you name it. One of my favorite things was to host parties and make people feel welcome. After a while I became known for my hospitality and the crazy parties with the coolest people I threw.

After I moved to LA, me and my friends started to throw some Wednesdays parties in my apartment. People called us "The Group". We were 5 students (and a teacher) of UCLA, of different areas, that became very close.

The rule to our meetings was to always bring another person, so we could meet new people. That way my place was constantly full of artists, painters, directors, actors and students. The most crazy and creative people of LA.

The living room was already full of people. A plastic artist from NY, a few students from UCLA, and this supposedly famous writer that I have never heard of.

I was refilling the avocado toasts when my phone vibrated. Tessa had sent a message:

"Prepare yourself, I'll be there in 15 min."

I didn't quite get what should I be prepared for, so I just assumed she was talking about her presence.

The doorbell hang and Josh arrived, carrying this fancy tequila on his hands.

"Darling, save this for a special occasion, my gift from Mexico."

"Awn thank you, how was the trip?"

"An entire week of crazy sex with the prettiest boys."

"Jesus... I need you to give me all the details later, baby."

I was putting the tequila in the kitchen cabinet when he asked, while running his eyes throughout the living room:

"Where's Superman?"

"Not among us anymore." I answered, giving him a kiss on his cheek.

The doorbell hang again. When I opened the door I thought I was too drunk and seeing things wrong.

"Hi baby, how are you?" Tessa gave me a very tight hug. "This is my friend, Jared."

It wasn't the alcohol. He was really there. My mind went completely blanc for a second before I could think of what to say. Tessa gave me this weird look as if she was trying to say something with her eyes. Think fast Victoria.

"Oh, hey, I'm Victoria. Welcome! There's food, lots of drinks and very nice people. Hope you have fun." I smiled as I finished the same welcome speech I always give to the newbies.

"Thank you, nice to meet you Victoria. I've heard great things about your parties." His voice was calm and had a husky tone that sent shivers through my entire body.

"Hope you'll find them all to be true. Make yourself home!"

He entered the living room and went compliment the people who were inside. I turned myself to Tessa and whispered in a desperate tone to her "Jared Leto? Jared Fucking Leto? Seriously?"

She laughed. "I told you to prepare yourself."

"Oh my god... I need another drink." I said while I closed the door behind me.

I was a huge fan of Jared and his work. Also, he was in my top 5 hottest guys ever. He had this mysterious aura around him that everybody would comment about, wich always made me very curious about him. Besides that, such a beautiful and talented guy, single at the age of 47? Something was seriously wrong with him.

The thing is, I never thought I would meet him, so I got really nervous about him being at my place. Despite that, I knew I was a great host, and in the past few years I learned pretty well how to interact with people I've never met before. If I just try to act like I wasn't extremely sexually attracted to him at all, I should be fine.

It was my chance of meeting the myth. So I took a deep breath, filled my glass with some more wine, and went sit with Tessa and Jared.

They were sitting on the floor, with Josh, Leo and another girl I couldn't remember the name, just in front of the balcony.

"Where's Superman?" Tessa asked as soon as I sat down.

"Oh lord... He's not coming anymore, okay? No comments, let's just move on."

"Victoria, you're gonna die alone." Leo mocked me.

I sticked my tongue at him. "Thank you, next."

We all laughed.

I notice Jared wasn't drinking anything. "Hey, can I get you something to drink?"

"Would you have something non-alcoholic?"

"That's gonna be a little hard to find here today. I'm so sorry. I'm gonna check the fridge to see if I can find anything."

"Don't worry, water is fine by me."

"No way." I got up and went to the kitchen.

My apartment wasn't very big, it was an open concept living room and kitchen, with a huge balcony in the front. Wooden floors, very cozy, nice view.

I realized Jared was following me, so I immediately straighten up, making sure my butt looked bigger. Cause you know, they ALWAYS look. I was wearing a high wasted shorts and an open back body that gave me a very sexy look.

I opened up the fridge and saw some lemons.

"How about a lemonade?"

"I would love one, thank you."

He leaned on the counter top while I was preparing the drink.

"I'm sorry about my curiosity, but who is this Superman guy? Everybody here is talking about him." He asked, almost whispering.

I chucked. "It is actually the Superman. My now ex-almost-boyfriend, that I happened to have dumped. Henry... Cavill. I said looking down. People always got surprised by the fact I was dating him, wich made me embarrassed. "He apparently got very close to everybody. More than I thought." I sighed.

"Oh wow. You dumped him? Woman you've got some balls. I wouldn't dump a man like that." He pointed to his arms while saying it, alluding to Henry's massive muscles.

I laughed ."Yeah, well, what can I say... I'm more of a batman kind of girl." I winked at him.

He threw me the prettiest smile I have ever seen in my life. His eyes were blue like an ocean. It felt like I could get lost in those forever.

I was smiling back at him when I immediately remembered he interpreted the Joker, so I swallowed hard hoping he wouldn't think I was flirting with him. Well, I wouldn't actually mind if he think that, though.

"So, no alcohol, at all?" I asked to break the ice.

"Bad for the body. And the mind." He added.

"Living on planet earth is bad for the body and the mind. Seriously, no poisons?"

"Well, I had enough you know. I spent too many years on the road and already had my share of all the poisons you can think of. Now I just like to stick to the natural adrenaline."

"Natural as in what, pot?" I chuckled at my own audacity.

He smiled. "As climbing, or my concerts. And a little bit of that too, every now and then" He smirked.

I laughed "Oh that's nice. You know, I'm a big fan of hiking. Actually my friend Leo got me into that, he does climb sometimes too." I finished the drink. "Here we go, a non-alcoholic lemonade to you, Sr."

He smiled at me and took the glass, slighty touching my fingers. My legs went loose and I thought I would fall down if weren't for Leo's voice.

"Heard my name."

"I was just telling Jared you like climbing, and initiated me into the mountains."

Leo was an extremely tall and handsome brunette guy. He was a photographer and teacher at UCLA.

"Yeah it's my favorite hobby, and allows me to take some pretty nice pictures."

"Since you've mentioned, I was actually thinking about going to Yosemite saturday morning. We could hike, so the lady here could go too." Jared said.

"I would really like that, could be fun. Victoria?"

"Count me in." I answered and shook my head in sign of approval.

Someone in the balcony called Jared's name.

"Well, we can talk details later, if you guys excuse me."

Leo smiled at me, saying with his eyes what no needed to be put into words. He lifted up his beer and saluted "cheers to hiking with a very, very, hot guy. I bet your wet right now."

"Cheers to that baby. And yes, I am." I finished my wine all at once.

#jared leto #jared leto fanfic #jared leto fanfiction

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allykat4416 · 5 years

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Something About Peaches

Date: July 26th, 2019

Park: Six Flags Over Georgia//Austell, GA

Well, this was the most impulsive shit I’ve done in my life.

I’ve been lucky enough this summer to have landed an internship. I definitely don’t want this account getting tied up with my professional life, so I won’t say exactly where this gig has been, but trust me that it’s been all kinds of sweet. My final day was this past Friday, and I genuinely was sad to go. I learned a great deal during my time there, and my coworkers were phenomenal ladies that have inspired me to do awesome things, cliché as it sounds.

On July 25th, I was able to score a three-day weekend due to my boss leaving for her own out of town journey. That happened to coincide with plans @imhollering had made around a month ago to visit Indiana. Life happened and she unfortunately wasn’t able to make that drive out this time, so she moseyed down my way instead to spend the weekend. She got in around Wednesday night (The 24th—I’m aware I need to do these in a timelier fashion, but life’s been going nonstop this summer.)

After I’d gotten off work Thursday (the 25th), Casie and I jetted down to Carowinds to catch the last hour and a half of the park’s operations after some delicious Chinese food at a local, family-owned joint. I rode Carolina Cyclone with her since she needed the credit, and we were both about to get the Ricochet credit, but the line essentially stopped. With time burning, I didn’t want to wait around on a credit I honestly cared nothing about. I got 5 rides in on Fury before it closed for the night, bringing me to 68 total rides. I was so, so close to the nicest ride on Fury in my life, but here we are.

We arrived in Atlanta at about 3 in the morning. The city at night was so beautiful, and it was one of those weird moments when I remembered my odd fixations as a kid and thought that 11-year-old me would be losing my mind to see a city skyline in general, let alone at night. We crashed at an Econo Lodge across the way from the park, and the staff was incredibly nice. Strong recommendation if you’re ever down in Austell!

Is this the part I mention my family didn’t even know I had gone to Charlotte, let alone to Atlanta? Is this also the part I mention they check the FindMyiPhone app to see my whereabouts a lot? I know you’re probably thinking “Ally, aren’t you like 24? Why are they doing that?” My answer to that is: I don’t know. What I do know is that was the worst night of sleep I’d had outside of my depressive episodes. I haven’t had a panic attack in my sleep in nearly two years, but my shaking was so strong that it woke me up at one point. I did eventually tell my mom that morning before we went to the park, and things were accepted with a lot less drama than I anticipated, but I’m still really aware of how fucked-up the whole principle of it is.

But we aren’t here to dissect my past traumas and be like “lol ally no wonder you’re so fucking weird.” We’re here to talk about what’s easily my favorite Six Flags park thus far. I don’t really think any of the other ones (except possibly Fiesta Texas) can challenge it, either. Over Georgia, this one’s for you.

First things first, the park itself is gorgeous. So many of the rides play with the terrain, and the lush trees and hilly layout made me feel like I was back in my favorite park of all time, Dollywood. The park has multiple canopy walkways like the gorgeous one at Carowinds and KD. The park is also very clean. I know this isn’t something people expect from a Six Flags; I also think that perception is a bit unfair, but that’s another rant for another time. The staff is exceedingly nice, and the clientele were all mega-friendly. There were also a lot of meme songs played, and I was nearly reduced to tears yet again when I heard Smash Mouth’s god-tier single.

If I had any complaint at all, it’s that operations were a bit sluggish on a couple of rides and even then, I think that’s a bit of a reach. Plus, we’re not about to be grating IG pricks and start screaming “one train ops” like we haven’t been in civil society since Jesus walked the earth. I understand why the dispatches were kind of crummy, and it’s because people wouldn’t put their damn phones away. So really, it isn’t even the rides’ or the operators’ faults. Even with the less-than-amazing dispatches, our longest wait was around 30 minutes for the new-for-the-year flat ride. Not bad at all for a Friday in the middle of July!!!

I’ll also take this aside to say Pandemonium is an awesome flat, and it was worth the wait. I’m glad I gave it a shot.

SFOG also has a very strong lineup. While I think Great America has the edge now with Maxx by having a solid launching coaster, I like the rides more at SFOG. At GAM, I really don’t care for Joker or X-Flight. There’s really not anything I actively dislike at Over Georgia. While New England will easily have the best top two in my books with WiCy and STR, and while I still maintain Superman is the greatest ride Six Flags has ever built, SFOG has probably my favorite lineup overall.

We started off our day with two rides on Twisted Cyclone. Our first ride was in the front row on the very first train of the day. The second ride was dedicated to back row, and that’s yet again where I prefer this ride. It’s definitely short, but that’s how I’ve come to like my RMCs. TwiCy is utterly stunning to look at, and it rides like a dream. When you do come across praise for this coaster, as largely forgotten as it is, people tend to rave about the wave turn. Yes, that’s fun, but my personal favorite moment on this ride is the cobra roll. It’s so weird. I never thought they’d be able to make an element that’s so uniquely steel onto a conversion like that, but they executed it with finesse. The more actually-good RMCs I ride, the more I want to respect Alan Schilke. I really, really do. But damn, that Ohio shit cut too deep.

Twisted Cyclone is probably my fourth-favorite RMC. It’s very close with Wicked Cyclone, but I think I have preference towards Wicked because of familiarity and the fact New England’s lineup sucks ass outside of Supes and Wicked. I don’t do formal overall rankings, but I do have a list of where I’d judge my RMCs. So far, in order from most favorite to least, it goes:

1. Lightning Rod (obviously)

2. Twisted Timbers

3. Wicked Cyclone

4. Twisted Cyclone

5. Storm Chaser

6. Goliath (honestly, this and Stormy are interchangeable though)

7. Steel Vengeance (obligatory “fuck this ride and all it stands for” comment here)

Please note I adore rides 1-6 on this list. 7 can go choke. So yeah, Twisted Cyclone. I always go in expecting my RMCs to be “not as good as LRod, but could never ever suck as bad as Steve” and so far, that’s not let me down. Rock on, you funky little surfer. You deserved a lot more love than you got, and more people need to appreciate you!

Our next venture was to probably the “worst” major coaster in the park, the Dahlonega Mine Train. I say worst as a loose term, because you can’t really expect excellence from a mine train. I will say the setting on this is beautiful; the whole park is, and this is one of those rides that plays well with its terrain. It’s pretty herky-jerky, but the ride is literally older than my parents, so that’s kind of to be expected. I don’t know if I’d ever ride it again, but it fills a specific spot in the park lineup very nicely.

Joker Funhouse Coaster was next, and there isn’t much to be said about it because it’s a kiddy coaster. It is what it is, and what it was for me was a credit to pad my count and get me close to a 200th that assholes from Instagram can’t fuck up for me. I’m sure the kids like this one, and that’s what it’s supposed to do. This ride ain’t for people like me and Casie, and that’s okay. Like everything else in the park sans Dahlonega, it’s really smooth.

Daredevil Dive is weird. I think that’s a common trait among all Eurofighters. I like the lap bars, and I do think this would be a lot less enjoyable with OTSRs. It’s kind of randomly plopped down at the end of this path, and the theming was enough to make me brace for X-Flight subconsciously. It ended up being a ton of fun, and if the capacity wasn’t Like That, I wouldn’t have been opposed to a reride. The logo is laughably try-hard, but the ride itself is pretty rad.

Goliath was next. I have a lot of feelings about Goliath. Let’s move on.

I expected Georgia Scorcher to suck because my past two stand-up coasters have been complete trash. Vortex and Green Lantern are some of my least favorite coasters out there. I braced for pain on Scorcher (stand-ups really hurt my ankles for whatever reason, but I’m totally fine on inverts), but it never came. I was able to enjoy the ride for what it was, and I ended up having a good time on it. It’s still not a coaster type I really like, but I think this one is pretty darned fun. I’d honestly be a little sad if they gave it a floorless conversion. Leave Scorcher be!

Batman is a B&M Invert, so I like it on principle based on that alone. I haven’t met one of those I disliked yet. It’s your standard Batman clone, and I do prefer it to the one in New Jersey. However, Chicago’s OG Batman has utterly stolen my heart as my favorite of the three so far. This one is definitely the prettiest though. Again, because it’s a clone, I don’t really have much to say on it. It’s a clone of a ride type I’m very, very soft on. I like it. Next!

We did go back to Goliath, but like I said, I’ll get to him. We then went to the next clone of the park: Superman- Ultimate Flight. It’s a clone, blah-blah-blah, the pretzel loop has tasty positives. I still really dislike flying coasters because my body decided to randomly say “here have your tits and stop crying about it” last year. That makes me like this type markedly less. However, because this ride utilizes its terrain so beautifully, it gets a bit more love from me. I’d probably ride this again, truth be told. If the terrain play can make me look past the restraint system, that gives me hope for future flyers like Manta and Tatsu.

Great American Scream Machine is probably the ride here that catches the most hate. Now that I’ve been on it, it confirms my hypothesis that enthusiasts are all giant pussies. It isn’t butter smooth, but it’s knocking on 50’s door. It’s not supposed to ride like a GCI built last year. For what it is, it really isn’t even that rough. Try Paincat at Lake Compounce, then try to tell me this is bad. There were a bit more Racer KI vibes than I would have liked, considering the malaise that ride makes me feel. I don’t think Scream Machine is a bad ride, though. It doesn’t have that malevolent energy like Racer does, but that turnaround gave me a brief Mason-nam flashback. I definitely need to ride this more to get a better feel for it, but I know from the jump that this doesn’t need the bashing people seem to love to heap on it.

We did miss one credit: Blue Hawk. We got in the queue, and we were about 4 cycles back from getting on. Then, we got that message everybody loathes. However, it’s another excuse to come back! And with all that we did get to do considering it was a Friday in July, neither of us were complaining.

Our final ride of the day was Mind Bender. We had missed it earlier because of some mechanical problems, but I wasn’t about to leave the park without getting on this if I could help it. I had heard a lot of praise for this ride, and I admit I did have somewhat-high expectations going into it. I’m happy to say it met them! I definitely get why people like this ride so much.

The positive G’s in this thing are delicious. My only prior experience with a Schwarzkopf looper was Hershey’s SuperDuperLooper, which is fun but kind of forgettable. Not this fine lady. Utilizing my weirdness-pass, I felt so much love at this specific ride. It radiated a strong positive energy that brought a smile to my face from the moment we stepped in the delightfully-wonky queue. I think a lot of the good in Mind Bender outside of those iconic loops are how well it plays with the terrain. The ride is gorgeous, tucked away down in a little gully with a small waterfall. Nature has started to reclaim the tunnel. You can only see the top half of the second loop from the parking lot. It’s absurd. It’s beautiful. It’s easily my third favorite in the park.

“But if TwiCy was one of those weird exceptions where the RMC is your fave-” I would have said so, yes. SFOG is going to be one of those even-weirder parks where the B&M Hyper is my favorite. Unless you count Fury as a hyper, I don’t think there’s been a park like this before. I have a lot of feelings about Goliath, and all of them are good.

I said back in my Kentucky Kingdom review that I don’t care for the term “flojector,” but I had experienced it on two rides thus far: Lightning Run and Fury 325. Goliath can be added to that really weird group of friends, at least in the back row. It’s definite floater in the front, the kind of air B&M does so well and RMC can only make when they drop the ball hardcore. But the back. Oh heavens, the back. I see why everyone raves about this ride, and I’m gladly a part of that group. Goliath is the best B&M hyper I’ve done by a landslide, and it’s my second favorite B&M ever behind Fury. (I do expect it to get knocked down a slot in a couple of weeks by Ocean Daddy, though.)

My favorite part is the helix, without a doubt. I grayed out both times we rode. The hills at the end are where the backseat flojector kicks in, so that’s a really snazzy finale. That last little stretch reminded me of Lightning Run, and that made my heart soar. It’s so fun to watch in the parking lot, but it’s so much more fun to ride. While it doesn’t use its terrain quite as much as other rides in the park, Goliath still speaks for itself as an awesome experience based on the ride alone.

We had originally made the personification for this Fury’s cousin as a joke, but it’s very true to form in real life. The rides really do feel just similar enough, and they complement each other beautifully if you do Carowinds and SFOG on a joint trip. They’re also near the entrances, like they’re saying hi to you first! I think hearing “Allstar” was just another sign that that silly joke call for characters so long ago was actually a pretty good move. I’m so glad this ride hadn’t been tainted by a previous personification. I love Goliath wholeheartedly, for more than just being a damn good ride.

You see, Goliath gave me hope. It’s no secret I’ve been extremely bitter about the leaked KI documents. I wanted something to make those Vengeance Bootlickers take pause. Maybe I’ve gone through the five stages of grief and reached Acceptance that we’re going to have to listen to people praise this glorified mine train for a few more years, but I’d just reached a state of numbness to KI’s second hyper. Goliath showed me that, yeah the numbers are going to look like ass on paper, but that doesn’t mean the ride is doomed to suck balls. There’s a chance, however slim, that KI 2020 can rise above the mediocre statistics and still be an enjoyable experience.

It takes a pretty special ride to make me be soft on the La Croix giga. Goliath’s pretty special, I guess. I feel really lucky to be relatively close to this ride.

It won’t be enough to stop the SV Mouthbreathers. But at this point, I don’t think anything short of T. Rex Giga will. I’m not even sure TRG could make them step down, truthfully, with how much Steve purists loathe the Raptor models. I was so mad at KI for their choice to not at least try. But Goliath showed me that, while Polarion won’t give me the change in the community I wanted, at its core he can still be fun. (And I can just bide my time until our Queen Mother T. Rex shows up and comes beatin’ down Sandusky’s block, roaring “Fuck Steve lives” all the way.)

So yeah, Goliath really butters my biscuits or some equally-corny Southern phrase. It’s 2 A.M., and all I know is I think that’s one fine ride Austell has on their hands. I don’t care enough to be eloquent. I just think Goliath is spiffy as fuck, and you should meet him sometime. I know I definitely can’t wait to see him again.

#it's 2 15 and I fucking love kebin #goliath gang rise the fuck UP #trip reports

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spaceorphan18 · 5 years

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Spaceorphan’s Movie Reviews: Batman (1989)

Before settling down to watch (and rewatch) all the films related to Marvel properties, I thought it’d be fun to take a look back over at DC. Batman was probably the first superhero I was aware of? Since he (and Superman to a lesser extent) were the most well-known superheroes in the cultural zeitgeist. I still say DC’s merchandising is far more prominent among children than Marvel, so of course, even in the late 80s, when I was a very young little person, I knew who Batman was.

Of course, before 1989, there were other iterations of the character, most notably the Adam West series (and TV movies) of the 60s. I remember catching those old episodes when it reran on Nick-at-Nite in during the 80s - I mean they were ridiculously campy, which of course also makes them family friendly, and so we had them on all the time. Then Tim Burton came along and updated Batman to be dark and gritty. (Like the comics! Actually, I have no idea, I’ve never read any Batman comics, so I can’t actually comment on that.) Of course, being six at the time of theatrical release, I didn’t know what a big deal this would be.

I don’t remember when I first watched the film. It wasn’t in the theaters (I was too young - but not too young to see the sequel!), but I did see it a lot once it came out on VHS. And I’ll be honest with you, it straight up scared me as a kid. The Burton-esque imagery, mixed with dark cinematography, and the horror-esque elements of the film really seared into my young brain. It wasn’t a film I sought out (though I don’t remember my parents watching it either, even though we owned it, I wonder if my brother watched it) but it was one that had a lasting impression, much like Ghostbusters and Back to the Future - it’s a film that I vividly remember from my childhood.

The interesting thing (to me) is that I haven’t seen it (until now) since I was a kid. I can think of no time as an actual adult that I’ve had the chance to pop it in again and watch it. But, interestingly, there wasn’t a single moment of the film that I had forgotten - watching it again after, maybe, fifteen-twenty years, I really do remember every beat of this film. However, maybe for the first time, I really understand the film as it’s intended - cause, yeah, it’s not a kids’ film (even if there was a ton of merchandising for kids - which there was, we had a toy batmobile and batwing).

So, how does this film hold up all these years later? Surprisingly well - for what it is.

So, maybe this is the analytical person in me, but I think this film is, maybe, more fun to talk about than to actually watch. Of all the super fascinating things going on - the plot is the least interesting part of it, even the film itself seems to loosely hinge on the random things The Joker decides to do and is a little, meh, don’t think too hard about it. To sum it up quickly - Gotham is being run by a crime ring and mob bosses and Batman is single handedly taking them down. Meanwhile, The Joker is a crazed guy who wants to be bigger than the mob bosses who whole him back, and after he nearly dies in a vat of acid - he decides to become even more of a psychopathic killer and tries to kill everyone. Because why not?

First, standing out to me much more as an adult, is all the Tim Burton-ishness about it. Which I don’t say as a bad thing. He has a certain Gothic, horror, cartoon-ish style, which I may say, is slightly toned down in this film than a lot of others. Visually, I think he was a good choice of director, I think the film has such a captivating stylized look that it holds my attention when the plot doesn’t. I think what stood out to me the most was that Burton went a drearily dark, with an occasional splash of white that made the whole film almost seem like it was in black and white - which was purposefully contrasting to the colorfulness of The Joker. I mean, Burton is purposely giving artistry to the cinematography in a way that I don’t necessarily see in superhero films anymore, and I think that’s kind of cool. There are times when the film is, maybe, too (literally) dark - but I feel like had the technology been just a bit better, it would have helped.

Burton also seems to be aware of the special effects limitations of the time, because at no point was I taken out by how cheesy the graphics looked (it helps that there weren’t very man), and some of the scarier images from when I was a kid, like when The Joker kills the guy by incinerating him, hold up pretty well. Some of the fight scenes seem weaker and stiff, not helped by the fact that I don’t think Michael Keaton could move much in that suit, but the action isn’t overdone. The action sequences aren’t what they are today, by any means, but I think they work fine given the era of the film - I don’t really judge them for that.

So - Michael Keaton’s Batman. Does he do a good job? I say mostly. As Bruce Wayne, I completely buy him. He’s a bit charming, a bit reserved, a bit mysterious, and a bit crazy - and when Keaton is actually allowed to do something with the character, he comes alive pretty well. The unfortunate thing is that this film really isn’t about Batman - it’s about The Joker (which I’ll get to in a moment) and therefore we don’t get to see much of Bruce Wayne doing anything - except staring off into the distance thinking about things. I get The Joker is iconic and everything, but Keaton has made Bruce Wayne interesting enough that I do wish there had been more - because his character doesn’t get to move much beyond ‘brooding about my parents; murder thirty years ago’.

As for Batman himself, he’s… fine. I don’t really have any complaints, but he feels incredibly limited - more so because of the suit, and the constricting ability to do much while wearing it than anything in Keaton’s performance. It makes sense that Batman would be a near silent warrior, but not being able to see Keaton’s expressive face holds this version back a bit.

Meanwhile… The Joker. Before I rented the film again, I was looking through some old reviews - and many of them mentioned that this film seemed to be more about The Joker than Batman. And I was a bit taken aback. I hadn’t remembered it that way. However, it wasn’t like I was paying that much attention as a kid. But yes, it’s true, this film really is not Batman’s film. It’s The Joker’s. And I understand why - The Joker is possibly one of the most intriguing characters and villains in all of literature. He’s a character who merges tragedy, comedy, and psychopathy all in one - and yes all three are in this film. I’m sure there are hundreds of think-pieces on The Joker as a character - understandably so. So, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised at how much of the film he takes up.

I’m not invested enough to say who played The Joker the best, I hardly think comparisons are necessary (even if inevitable), but I really like Jack Nicholson in the role. More so now than what I remembered. Nicholson really embodies that whole crazed-lunatic pretty well, and I think he’s captivating enough that he does steal the show from Batman himself. I feel like there are so many people who discuss The Joker, much better than I can, that I won’t elaborate much more. But yes, Jack Nicholson’s Joker is pretty amazing, and I think it holds up relatively well.

Rounding out the limited cast is Kim Basinger’s Vicki Vale. And, well, she’s… there. Despite being the literal stand-in for the audience during most of the craziness - an outsider coming into Gotham and being a conduit between Batman and The Joker. She doesn’t get much to do and is the pretty standard obligatory love interest. Keaton and Basinger don’t have that much chemistry - but I don’t blame them, they really only have one big scene to sell the romance, and for me, that’s just not enough. You just really aren’t given any reason why these people would like each other more than they’re supposed to.

Meanwhile - during the scene where The Joker is dancing around with Vicki - I kept think about that one test where if the woman is replaced with a lamp, would it change the scene? And no - no it really wouldn’t. I get the time period of the film, and how the ‘romance’ angle is kind of beat by beat what you would find in most films around this time, so I’m not judging too harshly. But still, she’s almost third wheel to the more entertaining and layered dance Batman and The Joker are having throughout the film.

Smaller Thoughts:

Prince was the official artist of this films’ soundtrack - and I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it. The film has such a 40s-esque feel about it that when something slams it into the modern 80s, it feels a little jarring. At the same time, the dirtiness of 80s New York, and the cultural materialism is all over this film, so the Prince songs fit nicely in. It’s a weird dichotomy.

Music, in general, is also what sells this film - and keeps it at ‘Classic’ level. Danny Elfman (Tim Burton’s go to director, and a personal favorite of mine) does amazing things with the score - and helps deliver the atmosphere Burton is going for.

I have a soft spot for Alfred - even if he weirdly decides to bring Vicki to the Batcave unannounced. She’ll disappear next film anyway - so ultimately it won’t matter.

I kind of enjoy the fact that Jack Nicholson insisted the actor who played Bob be in the film - and that Bob is unceremoniously and somewhat randomly killed off.

This film is very murdery - even Batman is murdery. He tries to kill off The Joker whenever he gets the chance.

Billy Dee Williams is here as Harvey Dent - so that’s a super interesting thread that was never pulled on again.

Most of the government/police force was kind of meh - and I couldn’t even really tell who Commissioner Gordon was.

I did really like the flashback to Bruce Wayne’s parents’ deaths. That guy who they had play a young Jack Nicholson? Spot on.

There’s a lot of mask symbolism throughout the film. Again, I’m impressed by Burton as an artist - and as someone who’s willing to tell a more layered film within a superhero film.

Things that scared me as a kid: The mimes, the parade floats, The Joker’s girlfriend wearing that mask, the two dead models, the dead mob guy being burnt to a crisp, The Joker’s grin, The Joker’s laugh, really every time Jack Nicholson was on screen, and that laugh box that kept going after The Joker had died. This film really did use to scare me.

Final Thoughts: This film was incredibly interesting and enjoyable to come back to as an adult. I don’t think it’s entirely rewatchable - it’s plodding along at a snail’s pace during some sequences, and I don’t think the plot is that engaging. But I do think there’s a lot of artistry here given to us by Burton, and worth coming back to every now and then to see a film that would inspire superhero films for decades to come.

#batman #batman 1989 #hey superhero movie reviews is a new thing i'm doing #so reviews films

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snugglyporos · 5 years

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So I hadn’t seen Suicide Squad before, because most of DC’s movies are terrible. I know why they’re enjoyable, but there’s a problem that comes with my aspergers that makes some movies hard to watch, and it’s because I’m hyper aware of editing. Maybe it was the two years of film school too.

Basically, Suicide Squad has awful, truly legendarily bad editing. I mean that’s to be expected when a movie was chopped together by three different people and two studios. But the entire thing is shot and edited so shoddily that I swear it’s almost astounding. Like it should be shown to film students to show them how not to edit a film.

Like shots break the 180 rule, or actions that occur are either removed or backwards and it’s just distracting. Like there’s the scene where a heart of enchantress is removed... but then it’s totally lost in the editing until it’s found on the ground at random, and despite it being the most important item in the entire movie, it just vanishes and that’s astoundingly sloppy.

And that’s to say nothing of the fact it takes over twenty minutes to introduce all the characters... and it does it multiple times for no reason. Because they have to introduce all the characters trailer style, but then they aren’t introduced to the characters themselves, so they have to do it again in the narrative, which takes way, way too long.

Half the movie establishes things that just aren’t paid off. Like there’s a pink unicorn gag, that is set up three separate times, but then when you think it’s going to be paid off? It just vanishes from the movie, never to be paid off. You could say this was subverting expectations, but to do that, you have to actually show it again. Which means either they forgot to shoot that, the gag was added after the fight scene where it was going to pay off, or they’re just putting multiple different films together incompletely.

That’s without mentioning the Slipnot thing, where they added him, but he doesn’t get the same intro that the rest do, so we know he’s not important and his death isn’t meaningful.

And that’s without mentioning the fact the movie doesn’t explain why the team is put together. The excuse we’re given is that they’re put together in case Superman goes rogue and does something like kidnap the president, but none of the guys they get together could hope to actually do anything about that, which means the entire plan is stupid. Furthermore, all of them are disloyal and dangerous to each other, meaning that any operation would be bad to use them for.

And that’s without mentioning the fact that it’s gone ahead with because it tries to say that Waller has plans of her own, but they never materialize in the movie, so they don’t exist, meaning that there is no reason to put the team together nor is there any reason to take all these risks.

Another bad decision. Enchantress works with her brother without June knowing. This is revealed in Flag’s apartment. Then hard cut to the subways. Then, hard cut again to Waller’s office where it’s said what happens, but we don’t see what happens, and it has no relevance to anything else.

The entire plot setup with the guard who abuses people, only for him to disappear ten minutes in with nothing coming of it because he never comes back after being shown to abuse people. And that’s without trying to deal with the Joker’s plot mess which relates to nothing and goes nowhere and also the fact that half of the storylines also relate to nothing and go nowhere.

And what’s weird about it is that it’s not like anti-hero ensemble pieces are new or particularly hard to make. The entire movie is basically a shittier version of Smokin’ Aces, which is itself a mediocre movie, but at least an entertaining one.

Anyway, the point is the entire movie from top to bottom has no direction, no planning, and just seems to stumble around from scene to scene without any kind of real idea of where it wants to go or what it wants to be. It can’t decide what’s important and what isn’t, and as such can’t pick a tone or figure out what sorts of things need to be established and what doesn’t. It’s a mess.

#ooc

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davidmann95 · 6 years

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So how about that motherfucking wild hunt issue? The only bad thing about it is that like most morrison comics, I don't think half these threads will ever be picked up again after metal (unless snyder gets his detective chimp book)

MOTHERFUCKING WILD HUNT INDEED, FRIEND. I figured Morrison would have a little plot input since this was the one-shot dealing with concepts spinning out of Multiversity, and maybe, if we were lucky, he’d write a couple pages. Instead, he clearly scripted the significant majority of the issue himself - pushing himself there without prompting based on interviews with Snyder - getting us Morrison riffing on Snyder riffing on Morrison, and working with Jorge Jimenez in the process, who proves yet again that he’s the next blockbuster DC artist in the making. And really, isn’t that the true meaning of Valentine’s Day?

Spoilers below

Snyder mentioned he hoped this issue would persuade Morrison to return to doing DC books regularly, and while I figured that was a pipe dream it seems a hell of a lot more plausible now, because reading this I can practically feel him pushing his foot further and further onto the gas as he remembers how good it is to cut loose with this shit. He’s been in the editorial back seat with Heavy Metal and Happy!, and I feel fair in saying his awkward Wonder Woman: Earth One books are, based on the first volume, more of a half-hearted intellectual exercise in seeing if he can make her work after writing the definitive 21st century Superman and Batman rather than something he’s particularity passionate about. Here, on the other hand? He may not be writing something of thematic depth for the ages like he has in the past, but he does get to reunite the mad scientist club from 52, and have the Dark Multiverse Batmen argue over the logic of whether they can reasonably go back to being superheroes after they kill the multiverse just because the Joker-Batman said so, and show the evil Batman-Flash getting hit with a positive energy beam that turns him into a good Flash-Batman with reversed-color armor, and write lines like “I’m on my way in search of the fabled fountain of youth and I could use a smart chimpanzee partner!” He’s lapping at the madness here like a baby from its mothers’ teat, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he decided once a year with Klaus specials and the odd Heavy Metal short story paired with OGNs that essentially never come out aren’t enough to feed the beast inside him anymore. Time will tell.

What time will likely tell even sooner, however, is if my theory on the last issue based on the conclusion here will come true. See, those aren’t just *any* Justice League-esque chips on the last couple pages: they’re the Primate Legion of the Gorilla Galaxy from the DC One Million 80-Page Giant (the giveaway that it’s actually them rather than simply inspired by those designs is that Titano in the back doesn’t have an s-shield, but the paired horizontal and vertical stripes mirroring Superman One Million’s own minimalist logo), who refer to 2067 in the past tense and (and I admit I’m stretching with this bit) rather than saying they’re from Earth 52 say they’re from the 53rd world - 53 as in 853 (heck, 8 is a big keystone number in Morrison’s multiverse cosmology). Paired with the weird mention of Cyborg upgrading to “Cyborg One Million” in one of the tie-ins, an obviously pointed reference that seemed like it would go unaddressed, and it seems very, very likely that the cavalry against the Dark Knights in Metal #6 will include Justice Legion Alpha, given their own Morrisonverse with Earth 52;* in a Morrison-worshipping series ostensibly about finding new world and hope in the possibilities ahead of us, having the day in part be saved by the utopian Super-JLA of a saved tomorrow would fit right in.

Also I want Superman and Batman to rise from the World Forge commandeering the Super-Mecha from Final Crisis and turning it into a giant Composite Superman robot ala that one Loeb/McGuiness Superman/Batman arc to fight Barbatos, though that’s less because of evidence so much as because I think it would be fucking rad. And if I’m putting in requests, let the end of this be what bluntly, officially, unambiguously restores the infinite multiverse the way it seems to be hinting at - that culmination of all his DC work since Animal Man was clearly stolen from Morrison in Multiversity to be half-done in Convergence, so doing it properly here in a series that’s a massive tribute to him would do a lot to give a feeling that his time there has a proper capstone.

* Not sure I’m actually wild about the idea of cordoning them off rather than keeping them as the future of the ‘real’ DCU, but I suppose it’s better than them just never showing up again. Maybe that’ll be Earth-All-Star-Superman the way Earth 1 was obviously originally supposed to be? Which I also don’t like given it’s supposed to be as far above us as we are above DC Comics, but it’s shown up a couple times now in here and Convergence as part of Hypertime, so I guess it’s too late to be picky.

#Dark Knights Rising: The Wild Hunt #Dark Nights: Metal #Grant Morrison #DC One Million #Scott Snyder #James Tynion IV #Joshua Williamson #Howard Porter #Jorge Jimenez #Doug Mahnke #Jamie Mendoza #Alejandro Sanchez #Wil Quintana #Clayton Cowles #Opinion

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tessatechaitea · 5 years

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Deathstork the Hunted #0

For a comic book that I'm fairly certain will chug mild to average amounts of donkey semen, this cover is pretty cool. Except for Deathstork's elf shoes.

Holy fucking fuck balls with spicy fuck sauce. I know in my Team Titans Annual #2 commentary I mentioned how much DC and Marvel wanted to be Image around this time but I sincerely forgot just how much. I think I can rest my case with this advert for a new Doctor Fate comic book.

"This is what our audience wants, boys! I guess we have to give it to them!" To be fair, I actually love this cover and I really want to fucking read this comic book now.

The cover of Team Titans was proof of my argument much in the same way that the low-level Chernobyl radiation detectors were proof that there'd been a radiation leak. This is like finally getting their hands on something that could measure extreme levels of radiation and everybody suddenly shitting themselves. I could make the argument that this is just DC still trying to capture that whole X-Factor X-men hype and McFarlane's Spider-man days. But that's all really just the precursor to Image. For whatever reason, these guys made art that made fangenders ruin the couch they were sitting on. Not that I ever ruined a couch I was sitting on over their art. But I know a few jerks who definitely did! Anyway, that Marvel stuff was just the prologue or the opening chapters of Image. And DC definitely would dip their toes in this fucked up poison art well many, many times before the industry nearly collapsed under the weight of all the extra stress lines drawn all over every character's face. And also maybe the pouches and the bullets. Oh, and maybe the variant and foil covers. Currently, Checkmate and other government agencies are hunting Deathstork because he did the worst thing in all of history. I don't know what that thing is yet but I'm sure there'll be a flashback. Remember, Zero Hour was all about touching up everybody's origin stories and slightly recontextualizing the current story arcs. Maybe some changed dramatically but since I certainly didn't read many of them and I've done no research, how am I supposed to speak with authority and also know I'm speaking the truth?! Let me just state facts in a way that sounds like I know what I'm talking about so I don't have to do any real work and not be embarrassed by constantly being called out by Actually Nerds. Before Deathstork dies (or kills everybody chasing him, more probably), he remembers what happened to him three weeks ago. He was visiting the Hmong whorehouse in New York (where Rose and a bunch of other children were being raised) to find out what happened to one of them that was seriously injured. She told a story about tying up a senator and then making him wait while she sat in the bathroom. While waiting, some guy in an omega outfit broke in and shot him dead. She jumped out a window, landed on her face, and blacked out.

Ahem. She landed on her face, artist!

The prostitute must have noticed the assassin was a big dumbfuck because how could he not know a prostitute was in the house? The senator was tied up and the assassin made a crack about the senator's wife knowledge of this event before killing the senator. Anyway, Deathstork will probably be framed for this. And maybe the murder of a few other senators because why would it be such a big deal if he killed just one?! It turns out the senator gets replaced by a double who has access to Clinton. His plan to blow himself up while jogging with Clinton is foiled by Deathstork when Deathstork shoots him from a helicopter. Afterward, the government thinks Deathstork was out to kill Clinton as well so now he's Deathstork the Hunted. The whole thing was some plot by some guy from Zandia named Crimelord. I think Zandia is where Brother Blood is from. It's sort of like Qurac. It's just a place where DC can house all of their terrorists so nobody gets upset when they use the wrong race of people as terrorists. It just makes comic books easier! Although it really seems more like a dog whistle of sorts. "We all know that every person living in specific countries are total terrorists! That's why people buy into places like Qurac and Zandia and Latveria. Wink, wink!" Which is kind of a weird way to go about things when, in comic books, you could easily just have a super villain be from any country without automatically being a representative example of the people from that country. It's not like everybody blames every American for The Joker! Or do they? Oh man, what an international public relations nightmare that guy's been! No wonder people in Europe can't stand Americans! Fucking Joker! Deathstork the Hunted #0 Rating: C. So that's the big Zero Hour twist on Deathstork! He's now the most wanted man in America where before he was just the greatest assassin in America but also kind of a good guy so people like Batman and Superman mostly just shrugged their shoulders and let him be. Although once every few years, they have to battle him, just to show that they're keeping an eye on him so he doesn't get too out of control. Although isn't Batman at least partly responsible for every one of Slade's murders simply because Batman never tries too hard to bring him in?

#Deathstroke #Deathstork #Zero Hour #DC Comics #DC #Comic Book Reviews

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agemintherough · 7 years

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Hi, S3rp3nt3 again. Seeing how bbb35 and you where talking about follow other fanfics, what other fanfictions/crossovers are you read (do you read Dragon Ball DC)? p.s. How exactly do you make a line break here? I'm not use tumblr, so i'm a noob in this social media.

Good question!

First, per your recommendation, I started reading the Dragonball DC and have been enjoying the nods to the various franchises’ histories. As for the stuff I have read…hmm…let’s break down what I have read and enjoyed I suppose.

*****

Crossovers:

No Need To Starscream by Overnight Sensation: This is a short and amusing crossover between Tenchi Universe and G1 Transformers. The gist is Starscream has been damaged and is found by the genius scientist Washu Hakubi. Hilarity ensues.

Transforming The Universe by Dalek Prime: I enjoyed this Transformers/ Steven Universe story because of how they tie the Gems as an invading force to Cybertron’s past. That was a great touch.

Steven Universe: The Kang Dynasty by TheBaneOfHumanity: This story combines Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes and Steven Universe in one really cool way: the Gems knew Steve Rogers during WW2. It is unfinished, but I enjoyed it enough to favorite it.

Superman/ Steven Universe: The Shield of Hope by Leolamin1997: Our resident follower of the same name turned me onto this when I saw some artwork for it that I reblogged awhile back. Imagine Steven Universe in the same world as a young Superman (think Grant Morrison’s Action Comics run). The cool thing is that this appears to be an amalgamation of every Superman out there with tons of nods to the previous versions of the character.

The Straw Hat Gems by Pixel-Hound: Of all the other Steven Universe/ One Piece crossovers out there, this is my favorite to read. My favorite stuff to write was contrasting the Straw Hats in Beach City and this story focuses on just that with a bit of a grand scope with several locations from the show, including the Moon Base.

A Wand For Steven by ShayneT: The one story I recommended on TVTropes that ended up getting its own Trope Page. Basically this follows the plot of the Harry Potter books with Steven and eventually the Gems and is rather rigid with following all of the established sections of the story until around Order of the Phoenix. That’s when we start getting some new ideas that are pretty interesting. However, my favorite thing about the story is how Amethyst and Peridot are used, which I will not spoil.

Pirates Fall Into Gotham by Dragonwriter88: This is still building momentum, but I am enjoying how Batman the Animated Series is working with One Piece so far. In particular, Joker puts on a concert with Brooke during a production of Gilbert and Sullivan, which I will never not enjoy seeing referenced.

*****

Now here are some regular fanfiction that I have enjoyed:

Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality by LessWrong: Imagine Harry Potter as written by a decision theorist…this story is genius. I could gush about it, but I won’t. Odds are you have read it too.

Oh God Not Again! by Sarah1281: There are several Harry Potter stories out there about “What would happen if Harry did it all over again?” This one is the funniest and seals it’s spot by making Gilderoy Lockhart an amazing character.

Tenchi Wakusei by Joe Meadows: This is a novella sequel to Tenchi Universe and it shouldn’t work. An OC who is friends with Tenchi at school visits for a holiday. Hilarity ensues. Here’s the thing: it’s great. The characters are written perfectly. It is worth a read.

No Need For All Tenchi’s Adventures by Dragonwiles: This story does the impossible and combines both Tenchi Muyo, Tenchi Universe, and the Okuda Manga into a single cohesive narrative. I love it. It is currently on the dreaded OVA 3, so I am interested to see how it turns out.

Luffy’s Renewed Adventure by F*ckthesystem125: I have mentioned this story quite a bit. It is the story that inspired me to write this one and is, in a way, kind of crossed over with this story in the character of Phil. It is currently dealing with Skypeia right now, but it is one of the longest One Piece stories out there.

Learning To Breathe Underwater by Roadsandburrows: This is the first Steven Universe fanfiction I read and it is still a good one. This tells an alternate version of how the Gems encounter Malachite after “Jailbreak.” There is a lot of good Lapis exploration here and I make a nod to it in the form of a Newton’s Cradle in AGITR.

The World Is Your Oyster, The Universe Is Your Namesake by MHD: This is a good Steven/ Connie dissection story about how the story could change slightly is Steven just asks questions and realizes early on that the world is a lot more grey than black and white. There is some good Maheswaran family material here too, and I am always down for more Doug and Priyanka when done well.

Beach City’s Universe: A Steven Retrospective by Bookman 230: This is a really touching story. It is a documentary done by Connie about Steven interviewing all the side characters. Just…just read it.

Putting It Back Together by CompletelyDifferent: This story is depressing as hell, but compelling. The Gems all lose their memories and have to cope with the existence of Steven. This was a bit of an influence when I wrote the Ocean’s Dream arc with the Amethyst material.

Lars and Ronaldo Go To Denny’s At 3 AM by BattacudaHeart: The title says it all.

I mean, I know there are other stories out there that I have read and enjoyed, but these stand out to me. I will say that I HAVE written a few other crossovers that I took down to rework them. They had A LOT of grammatical mistakes and structural issues. They were:

Harry Potter And The Visitors From The Stars: Harry Potter and Tenchi Muyo. The cast from Tenchi enroll at Hogwarts at Dumbledore’s request. It starts out strong and then got really…weird. I don’t think I could ever salvage it, but who knows?

The Genius Scientist And The God Of Evil: Tenchi Universe and Final Crisis/ Grant Morrison’s Batman and Robin run. This had a premise that I am shocked nobody else had done: use Final Crisis as a means of doing a crossover. Seriously. Darkseid finally has the Anti-Life Equation, the population is enslaved, the villains won but at a price that not even Lex Luther could stand…the crossover potential is right there! Basically, Washu Hakubi discovered the Anti-Life Equation and managed to save herself, Mihoshi, Kiyone, and Yosho. They come across a message from Barbara Gordon and it becomes them teaming up with her to save the Earth. The story then transitions to the mystery of Bruce Wayne’s death, the Black Glove and one of my favorite Batman villains: Professor Pyg. This story is much better than the other one, but needs a solid look-over for grammar before I republish it.

Steven Muyo: Tenchi Muyo and Steven Universe collide when Ronaldo gets contacted by Washu to help with an investigation on the Gems. This one had potential and I managed to tie together the backstories of Jurai and Gem Homeworld, but I never finished it. This was notable for being the first instance of showing that Citrines are scientist Gems (Citrine was the once-mentioned creator of the Rifting Stone technology).

The last story I started, never finished, and I fear is lost after a hard drive malfunction was O Hai Batman, which was a crossover with Adam West’s Batman and The Room. Not a damn soul knew it existed because who the hell looks up crossovers featuring either property.

*****

That turned out to be longer than expected! I hope you and everyone else find a good recommendation out of it.

And as for not being able to figure out Tumblr, you aren’t alone.

#S3rp3nt3

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