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jaminjims · 3 years

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「BRAIN GO BRR」

anon request: Heyyy! Could I request for an imagine for prompt 83? An ot7 platonic bts 8th reader crack / fluff? Like they’re playing around and it gets a wee bit competitive? 😅

prompt: “if you want me, come and get me, motherfuckers.”

pairing: platonic!bts ot7 x gender neutral!reader

genre: crack >:), fluff

warnings: strong language?? should that be a warning?

words: 1.3k

~**~

You looked seriously into Taehyung’s eyes, determined that you would get it right no matter what he did. The stakes were high as your team was only one point away from winning.

Tae meowed.

“Monkey!”

There was a brief pause before several different things happened at once.

“Monkey?! I meow and the first animal you think of is monkey, oh my god. Can I hit you?” Taehyung looked at Jin for permission, “Can I hit Y/n?”

“Yah! I can’t help it if you sound like a monkey all the time; you never evolved past caveman! That’s natural selection Tae! Aish, why couldn’t you just evolve past caveman brain.” You whined and messed with your hair in frustration. Jimin and Jungkook looked on in despair as now the Hyung team was a point closer to winning the game and now the two teams were tied. Hoseok and Jin did all they could not to pass out from laughter while Yoongi just nodded to your exclamation like it was universal knowledge that most people, indeed, did not evolve past caveman brain. Namjoon looked like he would like to end his suffering and was contemplating if it was too late to resign as leader. He should let Yeontan take up the mantle. Or maybe get a lizard. Lizards are patient and wise, right?

Ah yes, the elegance that was animal association; where you make an animal noise and if your partner gets it right then the team gets a point. If your partner gets it wrong, then the other team gets the point. Simple really.

Well, unless it came to you, apparently. There was really a 50/50 chance with you.

It was your birthday and you were all gathered in the dorm living room, having a mini party to celebrate while v-living the event. It seemed like the mass lack of IQ you had spread and lowered the general intelligence of everyone in your vicinity though, as Taehyung exclaimed;

“You never evolved past tadpole brain!” He pointed back at you and you had half a mind to bite his finger.

Before you could act on your biting instincts, Jimin laid a hand on your shoulder with a grim expression on his face. “Even I knew it was a cat, Y/n-ah.”

There was obviously something missing in their brain functions because no, that was definitely a monkey. You lunged for the phone to consult ARMY in the decision but Namjoon had enough sense to pull it away from you before you did something rash. Coincidently, you tripped trying to get up to get it back from the leader, and he just looked down at you with something akin to utter misery for this game in his eyes. Or maybe it was war flashbacks. Probably war flashbacks.

Hoseok couldn’t help it; he was basically wheezing he was laughing so hard and Jin went to help you up, though, he was laughing too and almost fell on you in the process. Yoongi was trying his best not to laugh but he kinda looked like the embodiment of the 👁👄👁 face to you.

“Hey! We can still win this, team! They can still get the next one wrong!” Jungkook exclaimed with determination in his eyes. Jimin nodded along with him as you four sat off to the side and the four eldest got together. It was Jin and Yoongi’s turn and Jin thought of an animal that they haven’t done yet.

He hissed.

There was a tense few seconds before Yoongi, quite confidently, replied with “Hedgehog.”

Jin’s eyes widened as he smiled, that caused Hoseok to whoop in victory because if Jin was acting like that then Yoongi had obviously gotten it right. “Aish, you’re so smart.” Jin complimented. Yoongi smiled and looked at the younger ones with smug victory in his eyes. Namjoon sighed like the long suffering parent he was.

It only goes downhill from here.

Your poor brain struggled to make sense of it. “Hedgehog?! What the fuck?! Do hedgehog’s even hiss!?”

This time Hoseok, Jin, and Yoongi started laughing and celebrating their victory while your other three team members looked at you.

You met Jungkook’s cold stare first, “I am going to defenestrate you.” Then they all lunged at you. You yelled and bolted up, grabbing one of those sticky, stretching rubber hand things you can throw at walls to get them to stick there. (if you know, you know) You had insisted you have them as party favors.

You ran around the couch so there was something between you and the other three maknaes. “But we live on the fourth floor!”

“Exactly!” Jimin added, “Maybe if you hit your head hard enough you can gain some brain function back!” Tae continued.

They ran around one way as you ran around the other. You used your sticky hand to hit them in the face when you could while the Hyung line stood a respectful distance away from the chaos and got it on camera.

“Pause!” You yelled and you all froze. You pointed at them while they pointed back at you. Hoseok started laughing again because it reminded him of the one cartoon spider-man meme.

You smirked at them, “If you want me, come and get me, motherfuckers!” Then you bolted away and the poor hyungs didn’t realize you were running to them before it was too late. You hid behind Namjoon as Jimin, Jungkook, and Tae came at you.

You growled and barked at them like the rapid animal you were and it spoked Namjoon enough to almost drop the phone (that was still running the v-live, by the way).

“Did you just bark?” Yoongi said in disbelief while Hobi and Jin also had a look of confusion mixed with concern mixed with slight horror directed at you. Namjoon quickly moved out of the way so he didn’t contract whatever brain cell eating illness you had. You moved to get behind him again before the other young ones could get to you.

He would would have poked you back with a stick if he had one, “Back! Stay back I say!”

You paled when you realized that you had no cover and bolted down the hallway, Jimin hot on your feet and the other two not to far behind.

The hyung’s followed to wherever you were going to make sure everyone made it out somewhat still intact.

You ran into your room and only paused momentarily when you saw that, huh, when did you open the window?, before regaining your senses and dodgeing the three others as they came barreling into the room.

So, the scene looked like this. You on one side, closest to your closet and desk, while Jimin, Jungkook, and Taehyung were across from you, backs facing the weirdly opened window. The four oldest were watching on with non concealed laughter and amusement (well three of them were, Namjoon looked a little bit like he wanted a nap.)

With nothing between you and your attackers, you did the last thing you could do; which was throw the sticky green hand at them.

You missed and you all watched as it went falling out the window.

There was a few seconds of nothing before you all jumped at the sound of Hoseok’s phone. He looked at it and then back at the other members.

“It’s Sejin Hyung.” He answered the call and put it on speaker.

“Hoseok-ah, would you like to explain the sticky, green, ... hand thing that just flew out your dorm window and into Y/n’s cake?” That was Bang PD’s voice. Which only meant one thing; their boss was with their manager and they had just witnessed you throwing something out the window and landing in your cake.

Wait, it landed in your cake?!

“Wah! It landed in my cake?!” You whined in misery as Hoseok couldn’t help the incredulous giggle that escaped him. It was quiet on both sides before you heard your manager laugh from the other line.

After that it was a domino effect and you all started laughing, even Bang PD himself. While laughing you still couldn’t help the little whines that escaped you.

“But what about my cake??”

[end]

~**~

end note: PLEASE, i live for crack fics you guys. along with writing angst (which i seem to write the most, for whatever reason) crack is one of my favorite things to write. i feel like i get to really just let my already deteriorating mental stability go and write whatever comes to mind with prompts like these so i had sooo much fun! thank you so so so much for the request anonie! i loved it so much and i hope you like it as much as i did 💜

masterlist

request something!

taglist: @boba-tea1206

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dynamox6 · 3 years

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Recommended Reading - Self-Help, Dating, Relationships

"The flame never dies because the commitment never ends."

1) Daniel Goleman – Emotional Intelligence, Social Intelligence, Primal Leadership

2) Anthony Robins – Awaken The Giant Within

3) David Deida – Way of the Superior Man

4) Dale Carnegie – How to Win Friends and Influence People

5) Robert B. Cialdini – Influence, Yes!

6) Paul Ekman – Emotions Revealed, Telling Lies

7) Barbara Pease, Allan Pease – The Definitive Book of Body Language

8) Michelle Lia Lewis – Flirting 101

9) Eve Eschner Hogan – Intellectual Foreplay

10) Gary Chapman – The Five Love Languages

11) Barbara De Angelis – What Women Want Men to Know, The Real Rules

12) Michael Webb – The RoMANtic’s Guide

13) Gregory Godek – 1001 Ways To Be Romantic

14) William Cane – The Art of Kissing

15) Nancy Friday – My Secret Garden

16) John Bridges – How to be a Gentlemen

17) Fonzworth Bentley – Advance Your Swagger

18) Steve Santagati – The Manual

19) Susan Page – If I’m So Wonderful? Why Am I Still Single?

20) Sherry Argov – Why Men Love Bitches

21) Matt Ridley – The Red Queen

22) Maxwell Maltz – The New Psycho-Cybernetics

23) Faye Flam – The Score

24) Janine Driver – You Say More Than You Think

25) Sakyong Mipham – Turning The Mind Into An Ally

26) Napoleon Hill – Think And Grow Rich, How To Be Rich

27) Geoff Colvin – Talent Is Overrated

28) Richard Templar – The Rules of Love

29) Robert T. Kiyosaki – Rich Dad Poor Dad, Increase Your Financial IQ, Unfair Advanage

30) Marshall B. Rosenberg Ph.D – Nonviolent Communication

31) Nathaniel Branden – The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

32) Peter Green – Ovid The Erotic Poems

33) Don Miguel Ruiz – The Four Agreements, The Mastery of Love

34) Stefan Klein – The Science of Happiness

35) Brian Tracy – The Psychology of Achievement (Audio CD)

36) Wayne Dyer – Your Erroneous Zones, Pulling Your Own Strings

37) Geoffrey Miller – The Mating Mind

38) Mary D. Esselman – The Hell with Love

39) Douglas Carlton Abrams – The Lost Diary of Don Juan

40) John Assaraf – The Answer

41) Malcolm Gladwell – Blink

42) Neil Strauss' Crowdsourced Reading Project 2012 Compilation PDF: http://societyinfo(dot)s3(dot)amazonaws(dot)com/crp(dot)zip

43) Rowland S. Miller – Intimate Relationships 6th Edition

44) www.thegreatcourses.com – Effective Communication Skills, How Conversation Works, Influence, The Everyday Gourmet, Changing Body Composition through Diet and Exercise

45) Willard F. Harley, Jr. – Love Busters

46) Betsy Prioleau – Swoon, Seductress

47) The Attraction Forums – Classic Writings Archive: http://t.co/fNqvDHZ34t

48) Nick Savoy – It’s Your Move

49) Daniel Bergner – What Do Women Want?

50) Robin Dreeke – It’s Not All About Me

51) Olivia Cabane – The Charisma Myth

52) Steven J. Stein – The EQ Edge

53) Karl Albrecht – Social Intelligence

54) Guy Winch – Emotional First Aid

55) Aziz Ansari – Modern Romance

56) Ryan Holiday – Ego Is The Enemy

57) Tucker Max, Geoffrey Miller PhD – Mate

#dating #dating advice #datingadvice #self help #selfhelp #bookaddict #booklover #relationship #relationships #relationship advice #relationship building #relationshipadvice

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loveroflokiforpoeticjustice · 3 years

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ScreenRant Misinterpreting and Not Understanding Loki as a Character.

Disclaimer: I really do not like ScreenRant. This just happened to catch my eye. If you like ScreenRant skip this.

10/10

"Unrealistic Survival"

During the final moments of Thor: The Dark World, Loki became impaled and passed away in the strong arms of loving brother Thor. Dead? Not really. He was back in Thor: Ragnarok. Apparently, that was just one of Loki's holograms and the villain himself was very much okay. However, recent history in the MCU proves that he holograms cannot be touched. In Thor: Ragnarok, Thor even failed in his attempt to throw a rock at Loki’s hologram. But in the death scene, Thor just happens to be holding him comfortably. And given that rocks go right through a hologram, then any other hologram shouldn't have been stabbed either.

"Loki became impaled and passed away in the strong arms of loving brother Thor." I threw up in my mouth. I am going to repeat myself. Thor is not loving. Please stop calling him this. (Post regarding this)

They are not "holograms" they're illusions. A hologram is technology; Loki is not using technology he is using magic.

Why do they only reference Thor: Ragnarok? Loki has used illusions in Thor 1, Avengers 1 and this movie!

"Comfortably"? That's how they describe the scene? They're on the ground, and Loki is bleeding from his chest! How is that comfortable?

On another note, this is correct. How Loki survived does not make sense. I am not suggesting he faked it. This is just an example of Marvel skipping over important information.

9/10

"Poor Attempt At Trying To Kill Thanos"

Before he was made to look incompetent by Thanos, Loki was a very intelligent villain. Catching and defeating him wasn't easy, and this was all thanks (ScreenRant Typo: takes) to his ability to create illusions at will. He used this trick very many times and it always worked. But when Loki is trying to kill Thanos in Infinity War, the only trick up his sleeve is pretending to pledge loyalty to the Mad Titan with secret intentions of stabbing him with a blade. Of course, Thanos stopped him and killed him. Why didn't Loki use a smarter trick? More importantly, why didn't he use his tried and tested illusion trick?

Now they call them illusions.

Please do not completely villain code Loki. He is more than that.

"Before he was made to look incompetent by Thanos" Yes, this scene made Loki look incompetent.

This is a great point. Why did Loki do that? Loki has tons of abilities even outside casting illusions. His IQ is 265, and he pulls this move?! Why?! This not redemption and this not a honorable death. What happened?

8/10

"His Evolution Into A God"

According to the MCU, Loki's parents are the Frost Giants Farbauti and Laufey. Despite his parents not being gods, Loki evolves into the “God of Mischief.” How is this possible, given that he was only adopted by Asgardian parents who were gods, but he himself had no god lineage?

I had to look into this because Frigga is a terrible mother. This is actually something the MCU got wrong. Laufey in Norse Mythology is actually Loki's mother, and Farbauti is Loki's father. Laufey (mother) also goes by the name Nál. Nál was actually considered as goddess of youth and playfulness who also really enjoyed nature. It also says that she was a frost giant, so she could have possibly been a shapeshifter. Her bio is kind of all over the place, and though I have read Norse Mythology, I am no expert. BUT this is something that the MCU should work to clear up. Not me a fan.

7/10

"Blue Hue"

As the son of a Frost Giant, Loki was born with a blue skin tone. When Odin adopted him, he cast a spell that changed his tone from blue to white. However, Loki never seems to have an idea about his true skin color. Given his history of mischief, he has never attempted to change back either. After, Odin’s spell to keep Hela far from Asgard ended in Thor: Ragnarok, his spell on Loki ought to have ended too. Or perhaps Loki has always been aware that he is blue. If so, then the confusion ought to be cleared up.

"Given his history of mischief" What history? Someone explain. If they are talking about the snake story I'm suing. And that doesn't even count since it technically did not happen.

"Or perhaps Loki has always been aware that he is blue." Clearly who ever wrote this did not watch Thor 1. If they did I hope they have a good explanation for this comment.

This also goes along with 8/10 that Loki could possibly be at least 50% Æsir (Asgardian).

6/10

"Mind-Controlling Hawkeye Instead Of Fury"

Loki found himself in the S.H.I.E.L.D. base after using the Tesseract’s portal to transport himself. One of his first tasks involves mind-controlling Hawkeye so that he can use him as security. He also mind-controls Dr. Selvig to make him create the Chitauri portal. But it's strange that he doesn't mind-control the boss ,Nick Fury. If he had done that, everything he wanted would have been achieved more easily. Fury would have been his puppet and he could have used him to make the Avengers make regrettable decisions.

Although minor this is a good point. My only explanation is that Loki may not have been thinking clearly. Especially since judging by the way he looks in the scene, he's evidently sick.

5/10

Thanos Was Too Lenient Towards Him

Long before they became enemies. Loki and Thanos were associated. One of the instructions that Thanos gave Loki was to get the Tesseract as soon as possible, or else. Yes, there were stipulations from Thanos outlined to Loki by The Other. Loki was promised a kind of pain he'd never known before. However, Loki wasn't able to deliver the Tesseract for more than six years, and nothing really happened to him. Given how ruthless the Mad Titan is, it's a mystery why he was so lenient towards Loki.

"Long before they became enemies. Loki and Thanos were associated." When was this? If by "associated" you mean tortured for a year than...sure. I am also confused for why they say "associated", and then talk about him being tortured later in the same paragraph.

Just going by the MCU, Thanos was also looking for the other infinity stones, so he probably figured he would get Loki later.

4/10

Stopping Agent Coulson

During Loki's invasion of Earth in Avengers, he trapped Thor in a cage, and while he was talking to his brother, Agent Coulson tried to stage a surprise attack. Not so fast Coulson. It appears the God Of Mischief is also the God Of Anticipating. Coulson ended up shooting a hologram instead of the real Loki. But how exactly was Loki able to anticipate Coulson's arrival? Can he see the near future? If such is the case, why didn't he see the attack from Hulk coming? Why didn't he use a hologram during the beatdown that left him in a pretty bad state either?

Again with the "holograms"? Seriously!

This is also minor, but all I have to say is that it is difficult so sneak up on, or scare Loki. In the scene prior Natasha did it, and he didn't really react. He may have used a clone as a protection method, since he probably suspected that someone would come once everyone was alerted he had escaped.

3/10

"Hatred For Thor"

Thor has always cared about Loki, but Loki has always wanted to end his brother. During the events of Thor: Ragnarok, a flashback scene showed Thor and Loki during their childhood days. Apparently, Loki did plenty of bad things to Thor. He once transformed Thor into a frog, while he also transformed himself into a snake to fool Thor into picking him up. Thor loved snakes, so when he tried to pick the reptile, Loki transformed back to himself and stabbed Thor. Why was there so much hatred? According to the first movie, Loki used to love Thor. He only started hating his brother when he found out that Thor was going to be the Asgardian king.

This argument is so poor I shed tears. I have a whole essay of why this all of this wrong here. But I'll give you a summary.

"Thor has always cared about Loki" This is not true. The only time Thor has expressed care for Loki is when he is gaslighting him and for 5 minutes after he "dies". "During the events of Thor: Ragnarok, a flashback scene showed Thor and Loki during their childhood days. Apparently, Loki did plenty of bad things to Thor. He once transformed Thor into a frog, while he also transformed himself into a snake to fool Thor into picking him up. Thor loved snakes, so when he tried to pick the reptile, Loki transformed back to himself and stabbed Thor." Plenty? This is two. Like I said prior, and at the beginning if the post I linked, the snake story logically did not happen. This scene is also improvised.

"According to the first movie, Loki used to love Thor. He only started hating his brother when he found out that Thor was going to be the Asgardian king." Loki has never hated Thor. (I really do not understand why though.) When Loki found out Thor was going to be king, he was the only person (even though everyone knew it was a bad idea, and I mean everyone) willing to stop Thor. Thor was not ready. This was not an act hatred but of love, acknowledgement, and honest will. Again, whomever wrote this evidently did not watch Thor 1.

2/10

Takeover Plan

Still, in the first film, Loki began scheming after finding out that he was adopted and he'd never become king. The God of Mischief assisted the Frost Giants in gaining entry to Asgard so that he could destroy the Frost Giant King Laufey before he could kill Odin. Sounds good, but then Thor tried to feud with the Frost Giants too, and this didn't turn out so well for him. In fact, Thor was banished and dispatched to Earth because of this. It is thus strange that Loki thought Odin would like him for doing what Thor had done. Loki also waited for Odin to sleep first before trying to destroy Laufey. Wouldn't it have been better for him to try and do this while Odin was awake?

Wow. This person did not watch the movie. They couldn't have.

"It is thus strange that Loki thought Odin would like him for doing what Thor had done." Loki did not do what Thor did. This is what Thor did. His coronation was interrupted, so he went to Jotunheim to "learn why" the Jotuns had attacked. They reach Jotunheim after everyone around Thor tells him it is a bad idea (note, this after Odin his father told him no), effectively committing treason. Laufey calls Thor princess, and Thor loses it. This breaks the "peace treaty" and starts a war. Asgard nor Odin are in a good state for war. By doing this, Thor has put all of Asgard in danger. Now what Loki did. Loki let Laufey into Asgard as a trick to kill him. Why this is different. The war had already started. Thor's "banishment" (and Frigga's terrible parenting) left Loki to stop the war. Loki kills Laufey and as a result the Jotuns no longer have a leader. The rest of the plan is to wipe out Jotunheim to ensure the Jotuns didn't invade, take over, and possibly destroy Asgard.

"Wouldn't it have been better for him to try and do this while Odin was awake?" No it would not. We see later in the franchise that if you are Loki, you can follow the Asgardian way and get severely punished for it. (*cough* Thor: Dark World *cough*) Odin does wake up at the end of the movie, and he just ends up being Loki's tipping point, causing Loki to attempt to kill himself.

1/10

Not Teaming Up With Hela

Loki and Odin’s abandoned daughter Hela had the same goals, but strangely enough, they didn't team up to make everything go smoothly. Given the kind of unity Loki had seen from the Avengers, he'd have been smarter enough to value teamwork more. When Hela arrived to take the throne and get revenge, Loki ought to have been the first person on her side. Her plan was basically a newer, small-scale version of his own plan in Avengers. Given his nature, it could have been more logical for him to team up with her then destroy her.

If you...do not...know anything...about Loki...DO NOT MAKE POSTS ABOUT HIM, PLEASE. What the heck is this?! I see why who ever wrote this has a job under ScreenRant. I really do. This is irrelevant.

"Loki and Odin’s abandoned daughter Hela had the same goals" What "goals" were those. Loki's goal was to impress Odin. Hela was trying to basically return Asgard back to "normal". "Normal" is explained later as being a consistent state of war and conquering .

"When Hela arrived to take the throne and get revenge, Loki ought to have been the first person on her side." Why?

"Her plan was basically a newer, small-scale version of his own plan in Avengers." Loki was being mind controlled, had been previously tortured, and was fresh out of a cult he had been in for a year! That doesn't count! Hela, who also has valid reasoning, is upset that her biological father cast her out (like Thor) for being too much like him.

"Given his nature, it could have been more logical for him to team up with her then destroy her." This person doesn't know Loki's nature evidently, since they are skipping over the fact that Loki kept Asgard safe from war for 4 years. So, no he would not team up with her since their views for Asgard are completely different.

Gosh, I hate ScreenRant.

#I hate ScreenRant #People do not know Loki's character #thor ragnarok #thor the dark world #thor 1 #avengers #frigga's b+ parenting #odin's a+ parenting #Thor's a terrible sibling #Loki #MCU

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kiloxy · 3 years

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Analysis: WHY DREAM IS ACTUALLY BLONDE GEORGE!

NOW DON’T SCROLL AWAY JUST YET!

Listen Guys I have come up with the greatest theory/analysis of my life. Twitter could NEVER. This is about to solidify me as one of the lead big brain theorists on tumblr, cross my heart..... *cough* shit-poster *cough* I mean what? anyway... This analysis includes lots of receipts! Now let’s begin me launching my 1000000000 IQ career faster than Dream can MLG water out of this damning post.

Tw: Close up of eyes since I zoomed in images of their eyes as proof. It will be under the cut.

So let me start with the question everyone has asked: WHO IS DREAM?!?

He’s the mysterious lime green, tea kettle sounding, god level skill, 10000 IQ, pissbaby enigma that took the internet BY STORM. He has grown so fast and so quick it’s insane, big brain plays must be through the roof. We could wonder how he did this... Why he did this.... But really. All we should care about is WHO THE FUCK IS HE?!!?!

Excuse my language... But anyway.. I have been working DAY AND NIGHT. To figure this out for you guys. It’s been 78 hours of no sleep. After escaping Dream’s basement (smart ass found out I was going to expose him) I have finally made it to a computer to post this...

Dream is Blonde George

Okay wait wait wait! Before you go leave, screaming and appalled, slamming the button to unfollow my broke ass, hear me out.

First point... What the fuck is blonde George?

THIS MAN. REMEMBER HE BLEW UP?!?! WHY DID HE? WHY??? I mean we hate him! Well the only reasonable explanation is that he was a PLANT!

Yes that’s right, blonde George was a plant. This is actually Dream. Now Dream loves chaos, he’s even mentioned before he may make a stan account/pose as a cosplayer and I think this was his way...He leaked this photo of him on twitter to fuck with us. To test the waters before the Mr.Beast video where he might reveal himself as blonde George.

Only Dream and his 1000000 IQ could blow up a post like this guys, think about it!

OKAY TIME FOR THE REAL PROOF:

We know Dream’s hair color okay, look at this twitter post where he does a hair color reveal:

POST HERE

Now let’s take a closer look. Here’s Dream’s hair:

Rest of the analysis under the cut includes more analyzed images, links, and video as proof:

Now I took to an eyedropper and examined Blonde George’s hair and got:

LOOK HOW CLOSE THE NUMBERS ARE! AND WE KNOW NUMBERS DON’T LIE! The more samples I took of blonde George’s hair and compared to Dream’s the clearer it became... Their hair... Is the same!

Now that we have the hair matching what else can we figure out? I mean Dream said he had green eyes, we even have a pic here of them.

But I ask you.... Dream’s smart. You really think he’s telling the truth? I mean think of the the vlog incident. Man is a liar.

I introduce to you a concept: CONTACTS

You see Dream knew that blonde George would get a lot of traction (he wanted it to). But he didn’t want to be outed too fast. I mean blonde white dude? blowing up on twitter? Obviously traceable back to Dream. So change one of his most distinct features, his eyes! He is wearing brown contacts. I have proof, let’s look at blonde Gog again. uSING MY EXPENSIVE HIGH TECH EQUIPMENT I-

ENHANCE ENHANCE ENHANCE!

I mean first just looking at this you can see the odd white glare on his eye... Now that is not your usual eye glare, no... That’s an eye glare that shows what it looks like when light reflects off a contact lens. He is wearing contacts!

But if that isn’t enough for you I cleaned up the photo of blonde George’s eye using mad skillz I learned from crime shows and got:

YEAH THAT’S RIGHT! CLEARLY A CONTACT LENS AND A CHEAP ONE TOO! LOOK HOW ARTIFICIAL IT IS IN THIS CLEAR ZOOMED IN PICTURE OF BLONDE GEORGE’S EYE THAT IS OBVIOUSLY NOT A PHOTO OF A RANDOM WOMAN I FOUND WITH A CONTACT.

Dream put in brown contacts! Why else would this “blonde George” be wearing contacts huh??? We know real George has 100% real gorgeous brown eyes.

Now you may be saying, well that’s just an edited photo of legit George. We have the real photo of George. But no, it’s not! THAT’S WHAT DREAM WANTS YOU TO THINK SHEEPLE, WAKE UP!

Dream put on a red hoodie, styled his hair to look like George, and he posed just right so it looks like it’s an edited version of that photo of Gog. But it’s not! We can tell by the contacts! Also George would never exude the off vibes blonde George does. It doesn’t pass the vibe check.

Now while there are so many other bits of proof... This is getting long and I want to wrap it up. So here’s one last big bit of proof.

THIS VIDEO OF THE SCUFFED PODCAST AT 15:37

They talk about blonde George and, George claims it is photoshopped but he smiles nervously. And as he pulls up blonde George Dream does his nervous laugh. Why is he nervous? Why would he be nervous?? about this “meme”. Maybe because he’s scared to be found out,

Now the most important part:

“I don’t rlly like it tbh.”- Gog.

“Uhhh I don’t like it.”-Dream.

Now you may have brushed past this upon viewing, but.... Nobody asked for Dream’s opinion. This was supposed to be about GEORGE why would Dream input his opinion and speak like it’s about him... BECAUSE IT IS HIM

Now the most damning of all... 16:50 same video.

“Dream have you like ever done a face reveal or no?”-??

Dream HESITATES

“No- I haven’t yet. I do plan on doing one but I haven’t yet.”

As he speaks his words get more rushed and quiet, he’s lying. He’s nervous.

Then George saving him, redirects the topic completely off blonde George and Dream immediately jumps on the new topic eager to switch focus. It’s so weird how fast they move the topic, the clearly don’t want to talk about it. George is a good friend, he knew that Dream was scared and needed an out of the conversation before he outed himself as blonde George.

But... they couldn’t keep the ruse up.... BECAUSE I AM HERE!

I see you Dream and your 10000000 IQ. HE THOUGHT HE COULD CONTAIN ME, CONTAIN THE TRUTH. BUT I- BREAKING GENESIS CAN NOT BE STOPPED. I ESCAPED HIS BASEMENT JUST FOR THIS FUCKING POST! IT WAS MANHUNT, I SPEEDRAN THIS SHIT. I BET HE’S LOOKING FOR ME NOW.

*cough* Anyway, now my very very last point.

Why haven’t we ever seen Dream and Blonde George in a room together huh? It’s weird right?? They can’t coexist separately because THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON. IT’S SO OBVIOUS!

If this grade A++++, wagyu quality, meaty with receipts analysis wasn’t enough to convince you then.... I am going to hack into Mr.Beast’s content. I am on my way to his house as I type this... Next post I am LEAKING images from the shoot when Dream drops the sign that will SHOW that he is in fact Blonde George.

If you have more proof.... Anything to add... react... or respond to this analysis. My inbox is open.

Wish me luck, I honed my hacker skillz just for this. You may not be able to trust Dream, but you can trust me! Hopefully I can do this before Dre catches me again.

o7 bois

#shitpost #i mean #analysis #dreamwastaken #georgenotfound #blonde george #this is the real shit #I legit spent so long on this kill me #please don't unfollow #this analysis slaps #This is my best work #Dream

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glass-rose-paperweight · 4 years

Text

Rosie Watson

I don’t see much talk about Rosie, which is understandable since she has so little screen time. However, a child is a pretty important part of anyone’s life. And I’m in a child psychology class right now, so this sort of stuff is on my mind. I often see her appear in fanfiction, usually inaccurately, which is understandable because writing children is hard. This post is going to talk about her development at the end of the show (about 18 months old), what her development would be like at 2 years old (a common age for her in fanfiction), and how Mary’s death might have affected her.

Physical Development

By 18 months old, the physical development of most babies is pretty well developed. They’re almost definitely going to be walking by this time, maybe still a little unsteadily, but most can get around pretty well without much assistance at 18 months. By two years old, most children can climb stairs, run, and jump. Other than growing bigger, their physical development is starting to come to a close. Fine motor skills are still developing at this age; gross motor skills are going to be more well developed. A common test used is stacking blocks. At 18 months, they can generally only stack about 3, but by 2 years, babies can usually stack 5 blocks. Their peripheral and color vision is basically completely developed by 2 years, and their eyes, unless there is something wrong with them, will probably be close to 20/20 vision. They have well developed depth perception and perceptual constancy (the idea that an object viewed from a different distance or a different angle is still the same object). By 18 months, their hearing is well developed, and babies of this age can locate the sources of sounds just as well as adults can.

Cognitive Development

Jean Piaget came up with 6 stages for cognitive development in babies. By 18 months, Rosie would be in either stage 5 (12-18 months) or stage 6 (18-24 months). By this age, Rosie would be quite inquisitive about the world. Babies at this age are described as ‘miniature scientists’: they are exploring and trying to figure out how things work, often getting into things they shouldn’t. And since they can move around pretty well by this age, they’re able to get into a lot of things. They will be engaging in trial and error behaviors in order to accomplish something, though at 18, the baby might be able to start mentally representing some objects and able to manipulate them in their head and figure it out that way. The example Piaget gives is an experiment he did on his own kids. At (I think) 18 months, he gave his daughter a stick that she wanted to pull into her crib. She was able to get it into her crib only by repeated trial and error of repeatedly turning the stick until it was able to fit through the bars. He repeated this experiment with a different kid when they were about 24 months old, and they were able to sit there and think about it for a moment before turning the stick and pulling it into the crib because they were able to mentally manipulate the stick. Object permanence is fully established around 12 months, so Rosie at this age would fully grasp it and go after objects that have left her view or been hidden. Deferred imitation (the ability to repeat an observed action after a waiting period) is also well established by 12 months - children are able to repeat actions seen 4 weeks prior. So it would be easy for Rosie to repeat the actions of others at 18 months, definitely by 2 years. This is because memory starts solidifying around 12 months. Toddlers 1-3 years old require 12-14 hours of sleep each day.

Language

I think this is the biggest mistake I see when it comes to writing really young children. Your 2 year old will not be speaking complete sentences. At 18 months, babies only have a vocabulary of about 50 words (though, they can understand far more words than this - probably twice as many words). Between 18 and 22 months, babies have a vocabulary explosion, going from 50 words to about 300. About 75% of the words gained during this time are nouns. What is common at this age is overextension, which is use of words in situations where meaning is extended. This usually happens with function or form. For example, if a baby is shown a small dog and told that is a ‘doggie’ and then shown a cow and told that is a ‘cow’, they child might think anything bigger than the small dog is a cow, even if its actually a dog. So medium to large dogs, sheep, horses, moose, and cows might all get called cows. By extension, anything about the size of the dog, or maybe even smaller, might get called ‘doggie’. Or, maybe the baby has a toy train that it calls a ‘choo-choo’. The baby might end up calling anything with wheels a ‘choo-coo’. At 18-24 months, babies will be using 2 word sentences. However, they do seem to understand syntax pretty well at this age - if they want you to sit in a chair, they will tell you ‘sit chair’, not ‘chair sit’. At this age, they will be using Telegraphic Speech, which are brief expressions that contain the meaning of the sentence but only essential words are used. Adults use this in their everyday life, such as if we text someone ‘home Tuesday’ instead of ‘I will be home on Tuesday’. If you want to go the route of showing Rosie as some sort of genius baby (or any baby of this age, for that matter), then you might have a baby using 3 word sentences with a vocabulary of 500 words. That would be a very smart baby. However, it’s almost impossible to tell how smart someone will be at this age. Baby’s brains are still developing, and even the smartest babies will have an upper limit on what they are capable of at this age. Most IQ tests can’t really start accurately predicting future intelligence until about 5 or 6. Even the tests that have been designed for babies 2 and younger are really only useful for telling if there’s some sort of cognitive impairment, not if the baby is exceptionally smart for its age. Even the ones that excel at the tests at that age might end up with only average intelligence. If you want Rosie to be a genius, it likely won’t really start showing until she is a little older.

Mary’s Death

Mary dies sometime between Rosie being about 6 months (when she throws the rattle at Sherlock) and 18 months (the end of TFP). We’ll just say 12 months for easy numbers. By this age, Rosie would have developed very strong attachments to her caregivers. Obviously John and Mary are her caregivers, but the scene where Rosie throws the rattle at Sherlock shows that Rosie has formed a strong attachment with Sherlock; 6 months is about the age where fear of strangers begins, and Rosie shows absolutely no discomfort with Sherlock, so he’s been around enough for the previous months to have a strong attachment with him. When Molly tells Sherlock that John doesn’t want to see him anymore at the end of T6T, we’re going to say that Rosie is about 12 months. This is about the time when fear of strangers starts declining, but if Rosie wasn’t pretty comfortable with Molly, she would be fussy at being taken away from her father, so it’s a pretty safe bet that Molly has also been pretty involved with taking care of Rosie. So, that’s 4 primary caregivers total. Some might think that, because Rosie is so young, Mary’s death wouldn’t affect her. And Rosie isn’t likely to remember Mary or that she died. However, babies are utterly dependent on those that take care of them. Consequently, they form very strong attachments to those that take care of them. As anyone who has been around a baby can tell you, they get upset when the person that takes care of them disappears and isn’t around to offer them safety and comfort. By 12, Rosie would have formed a very strong attachment with Mary; even with her other caregivers being around, she still would have noticed Mary’s absence and been affected by it. However, her other caregivers weren’t around. John tells Sherlock that he doesn’t want Sherlock around any more, and then Sherlock goes “off his tits” with drugs for a while. John is having to deal with his wife being dead and the anger he feels towards his friend over that. It’s shown that he’s not doing too well. He’s probably still Rosie’s primary caregiver, but he almost definitely wouldn’t be as involved as he was simply because he’s so emotionally distraught. Meaning that the person who was probably least involved with Rosie prior to Mary’s death (Molly) might have ended up becoming the main caregiver for Rosie for a little while there. She went from 4 to 1 and a half caregivers, more or less. And that would definitely have affected her. The most obvious way would be in her attachment style. Babies form different attachments to their caregivers, partially dependent on the baby’s own temperament, but usually dependent a lot more on the kind of care they receive. Most babies have secure attachment. Securely attached babies will show mild distress at a caregiver’s departure and will want to interact with the caregiver upon their return. However, they are easily comforted by the caregiver and go back to being happy and content pretty soon after being comforted. They use their caregiver as a secure base to explore the world around them. As long as the caregiver is close by, and giving positive signals as the baby is exploring if the baby becomes uncertain, they will remain content and explore just about everything they can. Securely attached babies are happier and more sociable with strangers, more cooperative with parents, get along better with peers, are better at problem solving, and having higher attention spans and lower impulsive behaviors. Contrast that with insecure attachment. There are actually 3 different types of insecure attachments, but I’m not going to go into them because this post is long enough as it is, and the individual types isn’t really important. There are some consistencies. Insecurely attached babies will be more emotionally distressed and less easily comforted by caregiver’s departure. They may initially show confusion or be dazed and disoriented with the caregiver first leaves. They may show contradictory behavior when the caregiver returns, alternating between pulling the caregiver close and pushing them away (though, there is one form of insecure attachment where the baby basically just ... doesn’t care about the caregiver. They show the least distress out of all babies when the caregiver leaves and basically ignores them when the caregiver returns). Rosie would most likely start out as a securely attached baby. She is surrounded by a lot of people that love her and engage with her and take very good care of her. Sherlock would absolutely encourage exploration and curiosity within Rosie. however, attachment styles can change, depending on the caregiving received. I think it likely that, after the events of T6T, her attachment style would change from secure to insecure. The good news is, that also means it can change back, from insecure to secure. Even though we see Sherlock and John interacting with her will at the end of TFP, she would likely still be insecurely attached. It takes time for anyone to get over that sort of thing. If you are writing her at 18-20 months, it would be completely believable to write her as being a bit of a ‘problem baby’, with all the issues that come from insecure attachment. However, by 2 years, she will likely have gone back to a secure attachment style, likely with no lasting consequences of what happened during season 4. Babies display a wonderful ability to bounce back from all sorts of harsh conditions they go through at a young age, showing almost no problems later in life as long as they are given the chance to have a better situation and improve.

I hope this helps anyone looking to write about Rosie or any babies about 18 to 24 months of age.

#rosie #rosie watson #sherlock #sherlock holmes #bbc #bbc sherlock #sherlock bbc #john watson #mary watson #mary morstan #writing advice #fanfiction help #babies #t6t #the six thatchers #tfp #the final problem

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ricksroaches · 3 years

Text

Namjoon - Dysphoria ch. 3

pairing: Yoongi x Reader, OT7 x Reader (platonic)

Summary: As a last resort, Namjoon tells his strict, overbearing father something that isn’t exactly true. He ends up having to find a way to prove his bluff.

Notes: Namjoon is also a junior. Jungkook and Taehyung are sophomores, Jimin, Y/N, and Namjoon are juniors, and Hoseok and Yoongi are seniors. Jin has graduated but still hangs out w them.

word count: 5.4k

warnings: cursing, mentions of drug use, mentions of mental hospitalization

Prev chapter Next chapter

Perfection.

The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines perfection as: freedom from fault or defect.

Perfection was the standard held over Namjoon’s head since the day he could walk. His dad expected perfection. Not excellence, no. Excellence has the stain of room for error. Perfection was pure, unscathed by failure. Freedom from fault or defect. And he accepted nothing less. He was obsessive. His mom always said that’s where he got it from.

When Namjoon was 13, he stayed up all night binge watching Star Wars. He didn’t mean to, the time just flew by. What he forgot though, was an Algebra unit test he had that day. He snuck a cup of coffee from the pot and felt tip top, but by the time 5th hour came around, he was dying. You know that feeling when your in class dozing in and out and time kinda warps and every time you blink, 10 minutes have gone by? It’s also not easy to think about quadrilaterals and Euclidean triangle proofs while your at it.

He made a C. He never scored less than an A. Ever. He was sure his fate was sealed. The walk home alone had his palms sweating.

Namjoon remembered a lot of screaming that night. At him, his mom, his brother. No one was safe. Even long after they’d been sent to bed, he could hear their shouts, muffled by the walls. Sleep didn’t come to him that night either.

Naturally, he grew to resent his dad, but then strive for his approval at the same time. All that stress festered into rage. The kind that would put the fear of God in anyone. It scared him, and he was smart enough to know he needed to do something about it. Every time he felt that twinge, that compulsive urge to bash someone’s head in, he’d do push-ups. 10 turned to 20, 20 turned to 50, 50 turned to 100.

By 14, he had developed a strict diet and workout schedule. His body fat dropped from 23% to 10%.

He joined the football team by his dads wishes as a freshman and quickly excelled. By sophomore year, he was not only the starting quarterback, but the team captain. His IQ and OCD allowed him to see patterns in the other team’s offense that others were too brain damaged to notice. He was basically the team’s strategist and often took the coach’s job of giving the rundown before games.

He loved to win. He loved the endless cheers and adoration they showered him with. None of that, however, could compare to the feeling of seeing his dad watching in the stands with a proud, contained smile. His dad’s approval wasn’t Namjoon’s driving force. It was the wrath that he’d do anything to be spared from.

Beads of sweat were blown from Namjoon’s forehead as he sprinted around the track surrounding the school football field. His heart hammered in his chest and his legs begged for rest, but he needed to make exactly 7 laps without stopping or he had to start all over again.

He could see the finish line inching closer in the distance and he pumped his legs even harder to go even faster until he sped over the thick white line. With a parting ‘fuck you,’ his muscles went slack and he collapsed into the grass. He couldn’t hear himself think over the all consuming sound of his heart thundering in his ears and him gasping for air.

Once his pulse slowed to a non frightening pace, he pulled the hem of his jersey up to wipe the sweat from his eyes. He laid his arm over his face to shield his eyes from the afternoon sun and let his body sink further into the grass.

He thought he fell asleep, because the light reaching through his eyelids faded, and he couldn’t feel the cancer waves beating down on his arm. Confused, he peeked under his arm-“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!”

Y/N was standing at his side staring down at him. He didn’t fall asleep, he was just laying in the long shadow she cast. “What the fuck what are you fucking Annabelle?!”

“I called your name like twice.”

“What the fuck do you want?”

“Okay first of all,” she took the sucker she had out of her mouth and pointed it at him “watch it. Second of all, Jimin told me you needed a ride home, so I’m telling your ungrateful ass ahead of time.”

“Why aren’t you in class?” She put the sucker back in her cheek.

“Skip n trip.”

“You’re a dumbass. There’s no way they won’t notice your gone.”

“Joon this school’s budget is $300 and a handful of Chuck E. Cheese’s tokens. Those teachers could give a shit. Besides, this isn’t my first rodeo.”

“What did you take?”

“Shrooms.”

“What are you gonna do until I get out?”

“Dunno. I might rescue a cat from a tree, might steal the Constitution. You never know.”

“Okay well I need to shower before next period so,” Before he could finish she offered him her hand. He took it and she heaved him up a lot easier than he’d expected for a 5’4 druggie.

“Thanks. Now begone, demon.” With the small shove he gave her arm, she turned and meandered to the front of campus.

~~~

Namjoon’s stomach fluttered when his 7th period teacher started talking about what they were going to do tomorrow. A key sign of the end of class nearing. He watched the clock make its way around and around until finally, the bell rang.

He came down the brick front steps of the main hall, eyes sweeping for Y/N’s car. Nothing. With an annoyed huff, he made his way to the parking lot. “Why can’t you use the carpool like a human?”

He was nearing the back of the parking lot when the 1993 Corolla e100 came into view. Its dusty blue paint job and modifications courtesy of Yoongi and his father’s garage that he worked at. A pair of converse hung out the passenger window. When he got closer he saw Y/N laid across the front seat, plastic sunglasses balanced on her nose, hands folded behind her head.

He wrenched the door open making her feet flop to the seat hard enough to wake her with a choked snore. He swatted the bottom of her feet so she’d move. He sunk into the passenger seat and watched her hastily rub her eyes trying to wake up, glasses now perched in her hair. “You good?”

“Yeah.”

“Then why the hell were you asleep when you were supposed to pick me up.” She rested her forehead on the steering wheel.

“Sorry. Shroom come downs make me hella sleepy.”

“Do you want me to drive?”

“Nah, just hand me a Monster. I keep some in the pocket behind your seat.” He gave her a concerned look but reached around and pulled a lime green can from the pocket. She shifted the car in reverse and cut the turn to exit the parking lot, opening the can in her hand with her teeth in the process.

“I could’ve gotten that for you.”

“And not look badass? I think not.”

“That wasn’t badass.”

“Sure it wasn’t.”

~~~

Y/N wanted burritos and Namjoon was getting hungry so they stopped by La Michoacana, their favorite Mexican place, and ate them on the hood of her car.

By the time she pulled in his driveway, the sun was beginning to sink below the trees and buildings. He grabbed his backpack and sports bag from the trunk and walked around to her window, leaning his forearm on the edge and bending to be eye-level. “Thanks for the ride. My dad's home so don’t floor it out of here okay?”

“No problemo brochacho.” She gave him an OK sign before pulling her shades back down and driving off with two small growls of her engine.

His family was already having dinner when he came through the door. “Joon honey, is that you?”

“Yeah mom!” Who else would it be?

“Come eat dinner will you?”

“It’s fine I already ate-”

“Come sit with your family.” His neck hairs prickled at the sound of his dad's voice. He knew better than to keep him waiting. He dropped his bags by the coat rack and made his way to the dining room. He took his seat across from his older brother, Geongmin. “Care to tell us why you were late coming home?” His dad, at the head of the table, finally spoke.

“I was just getting something to eat with my friend who gave me a ride home.” His dad took in his answer before giving a dismissive nod and returning to his plate. Another wave of silence carried the table for another few minutes before his mom spoke up.

“So, Mrs Kwon told me today that her daughter Somin is still looking for someone. Why don’t you give her a call?”

“What? Mom, no. Why?”

“Aw come on sweetie it could be fun you never know. You need at least one highschool relationship before you graduate.”

The truth was, he’d actually had a few relationships in the past. He just never let them find out about it.

“Listen to your mother, she’s right. If you want to understand women enough to marry one, you better start learning now.”

“But…I just can’t.” His dad's gaze zeroed in on him.

“And why is that?” The words came out before he had time to rethink his idea.

“Because I already have a girlfriend.” His mom dropped her fork. Geongmin let out a snort and choked on his iced tea.

“What?” She placed a hand on her chest. His dad didn’t seem too mad. Yet. He set his silverware down neatly and folded his hands in front of his mouth.

“Who is it?” Oohhhhh shit. Now everyone was staring at him, waiting for an answer. Okay Namjoon, just say a female name. Any name, just say something.

“Y/N.” FUCK!

“Y/N? Y/N who?” His mom jumped in.

“L/N.” SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU IDIOT!

“Hmmm…. I've never heard of her.”

“You wouldn’t have.” He turned back to his dad who was still eyeing him. He could tell something wasn’t right, only making Namjoon’s thighs sweat more against the seat.

“I want to meet her.”

FUCK! FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK! NAMJOON YOU STUPID ASS MOTHERFUCKER WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?

“Okay.”

Fuck a duck.

~~~

Y/N took a thoughtful hit of her joint. “So you're telling me…that I have to go to dinner with you…to meet your parents…because you said you had a girlfriend?”

“Yes.” The pair were sitting on the school roof during lunch. Her usual hiding spot.

“You know,” she blew out the wispy cloud, “for a genius, you’re really fuckin stupid.”

“Please Y/N they’re trying to get me to date this girl I used to go to preschool with. We hate each other!”

“Woah woah chill my guy. I never said I wouldn’t.” His eyes lit up and she held her joint above her head to avoid it being crushed by Namjoon’s hug.

“Thank you so much I mean it! I owe you big time.”

“All you have to do now is ask Yoongi.” She had to hold in her laugh when she felt his body stiffen, and ever so slightly take his hands off her.

“Oh…right.”

~~~

“Hey, Yoongs.” Y/N tapped one of the boots jutting out from underneath one of the various cars in the garage. The raven haired boy rolled out from under the car, laying on one of those rolly things. He looked up at her with streaks of motor oil and sweat on his face. His eyes lit up when he recognized the lame stance and shaggy hair that was his person.

“Hey, N/N.” In one swift motion, he was on his feet, wiping his hands on the red rag that was tucked in his waistband. He noticed Namjoon standing behind. “Sup. What are you guys doing here?”

“You see…about that.” Namjoon scratched the back of his neck.

“Come on Joon, spit it out.” She shoved him forward.

“Fuck’s wrong with him?” Yoongi pointed at him with his thumb.

“He has to ask you something.”

“Well on with it I have a job to do.”

“IneedtotakeY/NtodinnerwithmyparentscauseIsaidshewasmygirlfriendtogetoutofthemsettingmeupwithsomeone.” Namjoon squeezed his eyes shut and braced for his reaction.

“I don’t think that was a question, but okay.” His eyes popped open.

“Wait, really??”

“Yeah. If she’s willing to clean up your mess that’s all I care about.”

“I told you he’d say yes.” She bumped his arm with her elbow with a smirk. The wave of relief washed over him like jumping in a pool on a hot summer day.

“There are rules that come with that.”

“State your terms.”

“No touching below her waist, no pet names, no staring, and have her home before 10. You’re also allowed exactly one kiss if things get sticky.”

“Deal.”

“So when is it?” Yoongi listened to Namjoon explaining their plans while Y/N took his rag and started wiping the grease off his cheeks, nose, and forehead. Namjoon watched him sit still while she practically climbed all over him like a jungle gym. His patience with her was simply astounding.

By the time she finished and tucked the rag back in his waistband, Namjoon got a call. It only lasted a few seconds before he hung up. “That was my dad. I gotta get home.”

“Ight. That means me too. Bye Yoongs.” She spun around and followed Namjoon to the car.

“Ah, ah, ah.” She turned around. Yoongi held his hand up and made a ‘come here’ motion with his index finger.

“Oh shit!” She came bounding back and threw herself on him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He held her chin and planted a kiss on her lips. He made eye contact with Namjoon over her shoulder and gestured around her figure clinging to his body, dramatically mouthing ‘mine.’ Namjoon chuckled and climbed in the passenger side and waited for the lovebirds to finish their visit.

~~~

Y/N had just stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in a towel when there was a knock at her door. She padded to the door and opened it. “Jimin! You learned to use the door!”

He rolled his eyes and stepped in.

“I was told I’m needed for assistance.” She swung open her bedroom door and they entered.

“Yeah, I need your help picking an outfit that won’t get Namjoon killed.”

“Hmm. I see.” He put his finger to his lip and eyed her closet. “Are they religious?”

“Not that I know of.”

“Old school or progressive?”

“Pretty old school I think.”

“Underlying misogyny?”

“What? Fuc- Jimin I don’t know.” He simply eyed her hair, face, and body, nodding.

“Okay, I think I have an idea.”

“And what is thAH!” Her towel was ripped off and he began rifling through her drawers. “JIMIN!”

“Oh please, nothing I haven’t seen before. Let's see…” He tossed a plain bra and a pair of underwear over his shoulder to her.

“Something comfortable, since you won’t be getting lucky tonight.” He moved to her closet nonchalantly while she scrambled to clothe herself. He pulled out an armload of clothes and tossed them on the bed. It was funny how he seemed to know her closet better than she did.

After countless trial and error, he finally decided on an outfit. A white, one shoulder long sleeved bodysuit with a black velvet pencil skirt.

Next was hair. “Jesus what am I gonna do with all this?” He held locks of her curls in each hand. It ended up not being as big of a problem as he thought. A nice bun with a few curls hanging out suited the look well. It was messy, but not too messy, and made her look put together.

Last was makeup. He opted for nude shades on her lids, minimal foundation and contour and a soft peach lip gloss. “In case they’re secretly Amish, I don’t want them thinking you're some whore.” She chuckled, his light hearted nature broke through her nerves. He pulled her in front of the mirror and admired his work. “You look stunning.” She couldn’t help the bashful smile that she hid behind her hands. Suddenly he gasped. “SHOES!” He raced to the closet and looked through her meager collection. He settled on a pair of white block heels, the white strap across her toes complimenting their fresh white pedicure. She slipped them on and he repositioned her in front of the mirror. “Now,” he slid his hands down her arms and rested his chin on her shoulder, “you look perfect.”

Her phone buzzed on the bed, interrupting the sweet moment.

Joon🦒: I’m almost there.

“Okay he’s almost here, do I look like a good girlfriend?”

“The best.” With a smile and a peck on his cheek, she slipped into the bathroom and shut the door. She opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed the bottle of Hydroxyzine. Namjoon had asked her to refrain from being stoned at dinner, since she tended to say some crazy shit when she was. Granted, he didn’t say sober, just not fucked up. Shaking out three capsules, she eyed them before tossing them into her mouth.

Namjoon’s grey BMW M4 pulled into the driveway, it’s headlights pouring through the front kitchen window. Y/N and Jimin shot up in unison. He grabbed her by the shoulders and faced her. “I know you're probably freaking out right now, but just remember, you got this. There’s no way you can fuck up so bad they never want him to see you again.”

“Way to put that in my head.” He just smirked and opened the door for her.

“Go get ‘em tiger.” He landed a playful swat on her ass, sending her out the door for him to close behind her. No going back now. She made her way down the front steps and Namjoon got out wearing a matching charcoal grey suit and met her on the passenger side. He opened the door for her and held her hand for support until she was settled before shutting it gently. His car was spotless. Yoongi took great care of his car but even he had maybe a jacket laying in the backseat. It looked like he just rolled out of the dealership.

He climbed in the drivers side and pulled out of the driveway. “Was that Jimin?”

“Haha yeah. He helped me get ready.”

“How is he gonna get home if you don’t get back ‘til 10?”

“Hobi’s on his way to pick him up. Apparently they’re gonna drop and watch scary movies.”

“Hobi? Watching horror movies. You're kidding.”

“I've done it with him a few times, it’s quite entertaining.”

“I’m sure it is.”

~~~

It wasn’t a long drive to the restaurant they were meant to meet his parents at. It was a restaurant she’d never heard of, and probably would never be able to afford. He offered her his arm which she gladly took and they entered.

She was immediately hit with the smell of olive oil and fresh bread. Italian music floated over the light din of patrons dining on luxury dishes. Namjoon leaned down and whispered, “I didn’t think they’d pick such a nice place.” A hostess carrying an arm full of menus approached them.

“Mr. Kim?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Right this way please.” Y/N almost couldn’t keep up in her heels with the swift steps the hostess made. She remembered why she never wore them.

The woman led them past table after table, until they reached another smaller room, lit with candles and a crystal chandelier. It was quieter than the front, but still filled with the light chatter of diners sipping million dollar champagne. Okay, she knew Namjoon was wealthy, but this? God damn. She might as well be meeting the President.

They eventually stopped at a table with a couple already sitting. His parents. She put on her best face and gave a polite bow when they stood to greet her. “안녕하세요 당신을 만나서 매우 기쁘게 생각합니다” She looked back up to see them both frozen in surprise. His mom looked to Namjoon.

“You never told us she could speak Korean.”

“주금” Y/N held her index finger and thumb close together with a humble smile. This was good. She’s off to a good start. Once they exchanged pleasantries, they all sat down. A waitress came by for their drink orders. His parents ordered wine and they both ordered sparkling water.

“So, Y/N, how did you get to know our son?” His mom was the first to speak. She was clearly the more excited one. His dad looked like he was at an interrogation.

“We met at a pep rally sophomore year, and I noticed he kept visiting the art room where I worked after school, so when junior year came around I just risked it and asked him out.” His mom melted over the story she made up on the fly. God bless her wicked creativity. It wasn’t until he met his dad's eye that his smile tapered. Although it wasn't noticeable to anyone else, it was obvious to Namjoon. His dad wasn’t happy. Allowing himself to wait around to be asked out by a girl? Disgraceful.

Y/N basically lied about everything she was asked. Where she lived, who her parents were, plans for the future. Somehow the conversation shifted to religion.

“Are you religious, Y/N?” His dad asked. She definitely feared talking to him the most, given the few rants Namjoon went on in the past.

“I was raised Catholic, mass on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, the whole deal, but nowadays we hardly have time to go.”

“Were you confirmed?”

“No sir.”

“Why not?”

“We…” Her mind froze. She couldn’t get past the memories of that age. Cold metal bed frames and IVs, stringless hoodies and slip on shoes. “We moved and by the time we found a church to join, my parents were too busy with new work to take me to the classes. So it never really happened.”

“Aw, well that’s a shame.” His mom remarked. And the conversation moved on.

Y/N barely remembered the rest of dinner. Her mind still stuck in the padded rooms. Eventually, the last of dessert was finished and it was finally time to go. She briefly excused herself to use the restroom. She was feeling pretty good while she washed her hands. She said all the right things, they didn’t seem annoyed or too judgmental. She pushed the door open and nearly ran into Namjoon’s dad on the way to the mens’ room.

“Oh! I’m so sorry!”

“No, it’s alright. Listen, I’ve actually been meaning to tell you something.”

“Okay?”

“You and my son seem to have a strong bond. I can tell he likes you a lot. But just between us, I know you lied to me.” Her heart dropped into her stomach. “I know you don’t live uptown, I know you don’t live with your parents. I know where you actually live.”

“W-what?” She was frozen in place as he stepped closer. “I understand you may be embarrassed of your financial standing and I’m proud of Namjoon for accepting you for who you are. But I’ll tell you one thing.” He leaned in her ear. “You will never be good enough for my son.” With that, he turned and vanished into the restroom.

All Y/N could do was plod back to the table where Namjoon and his mom were standing. “Joonie? Would it be okay if we went now? I’m starting to get cramps.”

“Oh no please. Namjoon, take the poor girl home.” Best. Excuse. Ever. Works every time.

Once they were inside the car, she let out the breath she’d been holding. Had she been holding it the entire time? It felt like it.

“Ohhhh shit.”

“Dear god what now.”

“Don’t look now but my parents are staring at us from inside. I don’t think my mom believes us.”

“Why?”

“She’s talking about how I wasn’t affectionate enough.”

“How do you know that?”

“I've seen countless of their conversations, I don’t need to hear to know what they’re talking about.”

“Nuclear option?”

“Going nuclear.” With that he leaned across the console and cupped her cheek, melding his lips to hers. It wasn’t as bad as she expected it to be. She thought it’d be rigid and awkward, but he had a way of making them feel comfortable. They parted and he shifted back into his seat.

“Did it work?”

“My mom is jumping up and down. I think it worked.”

He started up the car and pulled out onto the road to her apartment. “What you said about cramps, was that true?”

“Yeah.” She didn’t dare tell him the real reason. Knowing Namjoon she knew that would only turn out one way. He reached over and popped open the glove box in front of her. Inside were tampons, pads, makeup wipes, muscle relaxers, and more lined up in neat rows. She gladly took one of the pills. “How you don’t have a girlfriend yet I’ll never know.” Namjoon may be a compulsive hothead, but at least he knows how to treat a lady.

“Hey, N/N?”

“Yup.”

“Are you actually Catholic?”

“Yeah. All of it was true except for the moving part.”

“Did you, you know, believe in it? In God?”

“I mean it’s kinda like Santa. Your parents tell you he’s real and you’re too naïve to think for yourself so you believe. To answer your question, yes, I used to at least.”

“What happened?”

Hospital gowns, bed restraints, pills in little paper cups.

“….I pretty much lost faith in anything I couldn’t see the moment I was admitted to that place. Shit like that kinda breaks down your character.”

“Are there still times where you think you might still believe?”

��What are you, Jehovah's witness?”

“I’m just curious. You’re the last person I’d expect to be religious.”

“Rarely. I only turn to a higher power when I think there’s nothing left between me and death. When I’m so sure that my life is coming to an end that the only thing I can think to do is pray that heaven is real.”

“H-how many times has that happened?”

“Three times.”

“Oh.”

“Namjoon, promise me something. If one day you see me with my rosary, I need you to throw me in a mental ward and burn all of my religious shit. The whole box I keep in my closet. All of it.”

“I…I promise.”

~~~

The Beemer pulled into her driveway and he helped her out of the car, heels in hand. She took the shoes from him and he gave her a warm hug. “Thank you.”

“No problemo brochacho.” He mocked a scoff and pushed her away.

“Ruined it.” He circled around and climbed back into the driver's seat. Y/N made her way up the steps and turned around. She gave him a wave and he waved back from behind the windshield. With a chuckle, she went inside.

She was met by Yoongi and Taehyung sitting cross legged at her kitchen table. “And just where have you been all this time, young lady?”

“Yoongi, why is it here?” Tae sipped from the mug he carried daintily in one hand.

“Heard Yoongi whored you out. I tagged along to watch the drama.” She chuckled.

“There isn’t any. Go home Tae.”

“Can’t.”

“Yes you can. We were gonna hang out tomorrow anyway.” Yoongi fished his keys out of his pocket and tossed them to the fluffy haired pervert. “Leave even a scratch and I’ll skin you. Make sure you lock the garage cause if someone jacks it then I’m really gonna come for you.” Taehyung gave him an exaggerated salute and a boxy grin before he bounded out the door and to the car like Tigger. Yoongi shut the door behind him and spun to face her. “What’s wrong.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play that game with me, you know it never works.” She let out a long sigh and flopped onto the couch. The cushion dipped beside her when Yoongi sat down. She instinctively laid her head in his lap. He began plucking out the bobby pins holding her wild hair in place. “So how did it go?”

“It was fine at first. I pretty much had to lie about everything so they wouldn’t think I’m some gold digger.” He loosened the hair tie, finally setting her locks free. His fingers rubbed her scalp to ease the tension from the tight hairstyle.

“That’s obviously not the problem. You have no shame lying.” She giggled.

“It was pretty much fine halfway through, then for some reason they started asking if I was religious.” His veiny fingers mindlessly scratched her head, nearly sending her to sleep. “His dad asked if I went through confirmation, but it just reminded me of other stuff.”

“The hospital?”

“…yeah.”

“What about the other half?”

“I couldn’t really focus after that so I’m sure my conversation wasn’t the best.”

“You don’t remember?”

“No, I was pretty much in a different place after that.” He tucked a piece of hair that was hanging in her eyes behind her ear. “After dinner, I went to the bathroom and ran into his dad on the way out.” Yoongi stilled.

“Relax, he didn’t diddle me or anything.”

“What did he do?”

“He knew I lied about where I lived. Luckily he still believed we were actually together, cause then he told me that I would never be good enough for his son.” The head scratches halted all together. “It’s really not that big of a deal, it’s not like it matters. We’re not even dating.”

“Y/N look at me.” He met those e/c eyes and made sure he had her full attention. “You don’t actually believe that do you?”

“Believe what?”

“That you're not good enough.”

“I mean….no?”

“That didn’t sound very certain.” She turned her head back so her temple rested on his thigh.

“I mean I haven’t exactly been the gold standard in my lifetime.”

“You don’t have to be. Name someone you think is perfect. I’m talking not a single flaw inside or out.”

“….”

“So, why do you think you have to be?” She was quiet. He didn’t need her to answer, he just wanted to plant the thought in her mind. The softest sniffle could be heard. “Hey, come here.” He laid longways and guided her on top of him. She pressed her ear to his heart and he cupped the back of her head in his hand. He brushed a tear from her cheek with his thumb. “You might not be good enough for him, but you're too good for me.”

“I think I can live with that.” He could feel the small smile grow against his chest.

After a half assed shower, Yoongi tucked them both in bed. Once again her head was on his chest. “Did you tell Joon?”

“No.”

“Good.

“Although we did get kinda deep on the way home.”

“Like what.”

“My religious awakenings.”

“Oh, you really went balls deep didn’t you?” Her head bobbed when he chuckled.

“Ha, yeah. Speaking of which, there’s something I forgot to mention earlier.”

“Oh boy.”

“When we were leaving, his parents were starting to get suspicious because the entire night he didn’t touch me once.”

“I don’t see the problem here.”

“So he had to kiss me in the car where they could see.”

“…”

“Hey you can’t get mad you said he could.”

“I’m not mad. I’m just thinking.”

“About what?” He gently rolled her off him and he peeled the covers back. “Where are you going?”

“Hold on, I gotta piss.” She just laughed and watched him lumber out of the room in his t-shirt and boxers.

When he came back, she was sitting up with her knees hugged to her chest. “So what were you thinking about?”

“Was it good?”

“Was what good?”

“The kiss.” She thought for a second.

“I’m gonna be honest, it was unexpectedly pleasant, but you have nothing to worry about.” He came to stand at the foot of the bed.

“Why’s that?” She stood and bounced to the end of the mattress. She grabbed both his shoulders and looked down at him.

“Why would I cheat when I already have the best sex I’ve ever had?” He gave her a long, cool look.

“Until now.” He grabbed the backs of her knees and swept her onto her back with a surprised yelp. He crawled onto the mattress and attacked her with a barrage of kisses anywhere he could reach. It was going to be a long night.

#bts x reader #bts #bts fanfic #bts angst #namjoon #namjoon x reader #yoongi x reader #namjoon fanfic #namjoon fic

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renatogpadilla · 3 years

Text

FFVI as a D&D Campaign:

OK, so I've been watching "Critical Role" (Campaign 1, Episode 31, no spoilers!) a LOT lately and it got me thinking how FFVI (arguably the BEST "Final Fantasy" game out there) is essentialy that. The biggest moments could be atributted to CRAZY rolls! I can see each of the characters being played by one of the people at the table! * Marisha as Terra Branford: Would be phenomenal. Her mentality is kinda in-line with Keyleth's. The "Kill Their Own Emotions" moment in the boat shakes the table as a whole. And when it's time to run an orphanage and protect her kids from Humbaba, the emotion in her voice destroys everyone in the Party. The "Mama?" moment becomes the most fan-arted moment for her character until the final fight. Her Trance ability is agreed to be the coolest looking skill at the table. To say nothing of the way she'd react to the whole Slave Crown bussiness!

Matt: "She killed 50 imperial soldiers in a few minutes." Marisha, and the whole table: *S H A K I N G*

* Taliesin as Locke Cole: "Treasure Hunter!" every single time somebody calls him a thief or a rogue. The "Rachel" story would be absolutely heartbreaking with Taliesin's expressions. The solo-sneak through the town while meeting Celes would be one of the highlights of the Campaign... That and his frienship with Terra would only be accentuated by Taliesin's and Marisha's irl friendship. Not to mention him puking on the ship would serve as some comedic timing straight out of "Critical Role"! Also, "That bow looks good on you" LAUNCHES the ship to heights undreamt of.

* Sam as Edgar Figaro: I mean, COME ON! IT WRITES ITSELF! Besides, it would be enjoyable to see him use his -Artificer- Machinist abilities as creatively as he does! Can you IMAGINE him rolling high enough one day and then he just creates the Noiseblaster? And with that he pulls out the microphone every time he uses it and proceeds to shout some thing Scanlan would be proud of... Not to mention his friendship with Sabin would be amazing if played by Sam! "The little shrimp has become a mighty Lobster!" You can HEAR Sam Riegel's voice come out of that! And the two headed coin? Now THAT's a Scanlan! This without mentioning the violations of the Geneva Convention that the Bioblaster would certainly entail...

* Laura as Celes Chere: I mean, OBVIOUSLY. Meeting Locke in the dungeon? The apparent betrayal? THE OPERA HOUSE?! "I'm a former General, not some... Opera floozy!" TELL ME you don't hear Laura Bailey saying that! And then she rolls a Natural 20 on performance and EVERYONE looses their shit! Her Runic ability is the target of MANY close saves. Also, the way Locke and Celes' interactions happen, she'd be perfect opposite Taliesin. The chat on the bridge in Albrook? HEARTSTOPPING. The attempted suicide? You KNOW Matt would call the sesion there!

* Travis as Sabin Figaro: This one was obvious. Monk/Barb that gets mistaken for a bear, and acts like an absolute teddy bear around Terra? Yes. Gods above, YES. "You think a tiny thing like the end of the world was going to be enough to keep me down?" You heard Grog too, right? The moments would be worth MILLIONS. The Opera house and Travis going "Why is everyone singing?" and then getting more and more into it! Him holding up the house for Celes! "MISTER THOU"... But best of all, and probably the single most famous Sabin moment EVER, The Phantom Train:

Matt: The train tracks suddenly lurch to the side. Even after this long and hard-fought battle it seems *chukles* it seems this train isn't letting you get away with your lives. That brings us to you, Travis! Travis, on his 5000 IQ shit: I grapple the train.

Entire Table: ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS?!?!

Matt: No way in hell are you gonna- You know what? Roll for it. *Picks up dice for the Train* Taliesin: He's dead. He's so fucking dea-

Travis: NATURAL 20.

Entire Table: *Silent disbelief, everyone looks at Matt*.

Matt: *Also in disbelief* ...Rolled a 1.

Entire Table: *Inintelligeble gasping and hyperventilating*

Travis: I'm going to use my last Blitz as Meteor Strike and suplex the Train!

Matt: *Looking at the sheet, knowing damn well what's about to happen* Go ahead and roll for damage...

Travis: *Rolls for damage*

Matt: *Braces for impact* How do you wanna do this?

Entire Table and the Internet: *EXPLODES*

The Fanart keeps coming, even YEARS after the Campaign is done...

* Liam as Setzer Gabbiani: Since he's LITERALY "Mister Steal Your Girl", I think Liam would be PERFECT. Just imagine him getting set up as this suave and smooth rougue who wanted to kidnap a beautiful singer and then gets Laura instead! (Which isn't entirely wrong...) IMAGINE his expresions and his dissapearing under the table laughing as the others barely climb aboard The Blackjack. THE ENTIRE PARTY giving him shit for a low roll on a Wisdom Check (the double-headed coin) and him segwaying that into joining the party, only to find out that he actually knew all along... Priceless. The total and undistilled heartbreak as his ship falls apart, him trying to reach out for Terra and everyone falling on different places. And then meeting Celes a year later and doing the whole Daryll story... Liam would be the one to steal the audience every time he takes the spotlight! Though he would be a little like Percy in the sense that he doesn't get much to do until his arc happens.

"Money, Money, Money!" every time he throws coins to attack, the loaded dice (in character, not at the table?) and the card throws would make him so stylish in a D&D setting I'll be surprised if somebody hasn't done it already.

* Ashley as Relm Arrowny: She takes forever to join because of her constantly being away for filming, but once she's here? HOO BOY, does the fun keep coming! Her paintings coming alive and helping them fight? Her giving Sam shit for Edgar's love life? "Fuddy-Duddy!" becoming A Thing? All of those moments would be hilarious... But probably her most notorious moment comes when they find her a year later, serving a posessed brush, telling her to paint, paint, paint under the Magic House... "Keep painting until I'm complete..." The party snaps her out of it before she finishes the greatest painting she's ever done, her Magnum Opus, and then the painting coming alive prematurely in order to force her to finish... To give her form. And then the Lakshmi boss fight happens... Matt: And with the last of her strength gone, the banshee-like apparition dissipates into mist, and before any of you can react, Relm's magic brush begins to glow, like it had when you first came in here. The glow slowly creeps off the hairs and darts! Off towards the mistified form of it's mistress, enveloping itself into a thicc layer on top of the mist, swirling around... and around and around.

Ashley: Oh god, now what?

Matt: The colors dissipate, and Lakshmi unleashes a terrible wail! *DM monster noises* As it is now joined with this colorful cloud... And it compresses, smaller and smaller... And more solid until it's not mist anymore.

Marisha: *Gets it* ¡WAIT A MINUTE!

Travis: *Exited* ¡OH SHIT, HOLD ON!

Matt: The fog dissipates... And the calm returns to Relm's senses. Ashley you are now holding an innert, ordinary paint brush. However! Floating in the air, you see a crystal with a small glowing core, the particular essence of Life embeded in the middle, Terra you *points at Marisha* feel this and recognize it instantly, as it falls to the ground, and bounces a couple times... A brand new shard of Magicite.

Party: *FERAL LOOTING*

"Lakshmi" becomes the most PAINFUL fanart to make, and it's ALWAYS the one that's valued the most among the fandom.

The rest of the Party (Strago, Umaro, Mog, Cyan, Gau and GoGo) can be the guests that come over every once in a while (I particualrly see Wil Wheaton as Strago Magus, Mary McGlynn as GoGo and Will Friedle as Clyde "Shadow" Arrowny) with Shadow coming and going with the excuse that "His contract is up" (and let's face it, after surviving/witnessing the Phantom Train? My contract would be up too...) and coming back whenever his schedule/the plot allows. Eventually, everyone comes together for one last session and the battle with God Kefka. Setting their affairs in order, the reveal of who Shadow really is during a lone chat with Strago shakes the Critters to their core. Everything makes sense! Why Interceptor went straight to Relm when they met... Why his nightmares kept showing a village of magic users, yet they never mention Shadow in Thamasa! The group is RATTLED and wether or not he survives at the end becomes a HEATED argument between everyone at the table. Only Strago knows the truth...

The sendoff on The Falcon with everyone saying goodbye and seeing what the World will bring next is regarded as one of the most emotional scenes in "Critical Role" history... But the most completely DESTRUCTIVE force in this entire cast is Matt Mercer as Kefka Palazzo:

The personality... the narrative... The absolute slime in his voice when he poisons Doma. When he kills Leo and brings forth the Light of Judgement. Matt definitely has his moments playing Ultros. He's fun! And Emperor Ghestal was more of a political "Darth Sidious" villain. But Kefka? OH, LORD. NOBODY was ready for Kefka. "Enjoy the barbicue!" gets memed to no end, while also sending a horrible shiver down people's spine whenever somebody brings it up. Truly, the villain to end all villains. I can see it happen so vividly... If anybody wants to talk about this more, PLEASE hit me up! This just feels too good! Until off course the party moves on to their next Campaign in the setting for "Final Fantasy 5" but that's a whole OTHER can of worms!

#Critical Role #FFVI #FF6 #Final Fantasy #D&D #Dungeons and Dragons #Critters #CritRole #The Returners #Vox Machina #The Mighty Nein #DM

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ofstarsandvibranium · 5 years

Text

Save A Spot For Me

Fandom: Marvel (College AU)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

As requested by anonymous: Bucky Barnes x reader where he always saves a spot for her in their one uni class and everyone noticed and ships them

You: sooooo...here’s the thing..

Bucky: late again.

You: yup. save a seat for me?

Bucky: of course

You: 😁 thanks!

Bucky shakes his head with a fond look on his face. He pulls open the door to his next class, one that you share with him. When he entered the lecture hall, there were already a few students in their preferred seats.

Bucky made his way to one of the middle rows, choosing a seat for him and then proceeding to place his things in the seat beside him, a place for you. As he dug out his supplies for the class, his buddy, Sam, waltzed into the room, heading straight for the seat next to Bucky, the one he was saving for you.

As soon as Sam grabbed for Bucky’s bag, he was stopped, “Hey, hey! Woah! That’s Y/N’s seat!”

Sam snorted, “And where’s Y/N right now?”

Bucky shrugged, “Said she was gonna be late.”

Sam shook his head, “Snooze, you lose!” he proceeds to move Bucky’s bag to the floor and sits in the seat that was preserved for you.

The brunette frowned, “You couldn’t have just sat in the other chair beside me?” with a shake of his head, Bucky moved his things to the other chair next to him. He then pulled out his notes and began to read the content from last lecture.

Soon enough, more and more students began to file into the hall. Whenever one would come up to Bucky, they’d ask, “Y/N’s seat?” to which he’d give them a sorry look accompanied with a nod. However, many didn’t seem too upset. Oddly enough, people would smirk at him or give him a knowing look.

“Why are people looking at me weird whenever I say that I’m saving a seat for Y/N?”

Sam chuckled, “Probably because we can all see how much you like her?”

Bucky scoffed, “What? No! I-I don’t like her! We’re just friends!”

“Mhmmmmm, keep tellin’ yourself that, man,” Sam gave a looking showing that he was unconvinced by Bucky’s words.

Bucky frowned. He opened his mouth to retort, but was interrupted when Professor Coulson entered the room. His mouth shut immediately and he picked up his pen, ready to take notes.

____________

You absolutely hated living off campus. Well, no, that’s not entirely true. Living off campus meant you didn’t have to deal with the RAs, campus police, annoying floor mates, sharing bathrooms with 50+ people, etc. You had more privacy, a bathroom you had to shared with 3 people, and amazing roommates. The downside was not having the convenience of being closer to your classes. Instead, you had to take the bus to campus and the bus was never reliable. Like today. The bus driver decided to take a different route to the college than the usual and it’s going to make you late. Again! This will be your fourth tardy to class and you’re really hoping Coulson doesn’t rip you a new one in front of everybody.

At least Bucky said he’ll save you a seat. He’s a nice person like that. A nice person with gorgeous blue eyes, a beautiful smile, soft chocolate brown hair-UGH! Get it together, Y/N! You can’t crush on your friend like that. Was he a friend? You don’t really hang out outside of class. And you two usually only text about school. Maybe he’s not a friend then. But you’d like to be his friend...maybe more.

The bus finally arrives to campus and you mutter, “Finally!” under your breath as you practically hop off the vehicle and run towards the lecture hall. You’re twenty minutes late.

You head towards the back door of the lecture hall, slipping in as quietly as you can. You look down to see Bucky and you tip toe over to his row, whispering apologies to the students you pass. Bucky spots you and shoots a smile, removing his bag from your spot. You’re grateful that Coulson’s back is to you as he’s drawing a graph onto the board.

Just as you’re about to sit down, Coulson calls out your name, “Y/N, you know the rules.”

Everyone’s eyes turn to you, staring expectedly. You sigh, straightening your form as you stand, “I’m Y/N L/N and I’m late because my bus driver thought it was a good idea to take a different route to campus, which made me twenty-five minutes late to class.”

Coulson nodded when you sat down, “Alright. Now as I was saying-”

You drown out Coulson’s voice as you hurriedly open your notebook to write down all of the notes he’d put on the board. When he begins to erase them, you open your mouth to tell him to wait, but Bucky’s hand lands on your arm. He scribbles down something at the corner of his page. You lean in and read it:

Don’t worry. You can copy my notes later. ;)

Your shoulders deflate with relief and you mouth, “Thank you,” to him.

He shrugs and mouths back, “You’re welcome,” then goes back to writing out his notes.

After class, Coulson calls you up to his desk and you feel yourself tense as you approach, “Yes, sir?”

“So, I hate to do this, because you’re actually a really great student and you’re doing so well in my class, but I do have to give you a warning that if you’re late again, that’s an automatic absence.”

You nod understandingly, “I know, sir. I don’t mean to be late, you know. It’s just the bus-”

“I understand, but why doesn’t your boyfriend give you a ride?”

You look at him confusedly, “Boyfriend?”

“Barnes,” he says with a smirk, “The guy who always saves you a seat and secretly gives you heart eyes whenever you speak up in class?”

You honestly didn’t know what to say to that, “O-Oh, uh, Bucky and I-”

“Babe, you ready to go?” you look to the door and see Bucky’s head popping in.

“Uh, yeah?” you say unsurely.

He nods, “Let’s go then! Sam and Steve are waiting for us so we can head to lunch!”

“O-Okay!” you say and shoot a nervous smile to Coulson, who’s practically beaming at you. You wave at your professor and exit the lecture hall.

You then frown at Bucky, “Why’d you do that? Now he thinks we’re dating!”

He chuckles, “You make it sound like a bad thing.” you follow him as he continues to walk towards the cafe, “Besides, you don’t wanna embarrass the guy, do ya?”

You snort, “Why not? He embarrasses me all the time!”

“Which is you fault, by the way,” Bucky says with a pointed look.

You feign offense and point a finger at him, “It’s not my fault and you know it, Barnes!”

_______________________

The day after that, you get to campus early, as you told Bucky via texting him a selfie of you on campus. He proceeds to send you a selfie back showing you he’s already at the hall with a seat saved for you.

He waits patiently as you make your way over, doodling in his sketchbook yet another picture of you. So deep into his doodling, he doesn’t notice one of his classmates settling in the seat next to him, until another classmate from behind speaks up.

“Hey, blondie! You better take a different spot! Barnes doesn’t like anyone else sitting next to him other than his tardy girlfriend!”

Bucky grunts in dismay when he realizes Brock Rumlow, the campus asshole, is speaking. He looks over his shoulder with a frown, “Shut up, Rumlow, before you dumb down everyone’s IQ!” he then turns to his classmate with a sorry expression, “Sorry about him...Sharon, right?”

She nods, “Yeah, and sorry. I didn’t know this was Y/N’s seat. I usually sit up front, but my neck is starting to hurt since he’s been using the overhead lately. I’ll move down a seat.”

“I really am sorry.”

She shakes his head, “Don’t be. I think it’s cute that you do that for Y/N. You really like her, huh?”

Bucky feels his face start to heat up, “Well, uh, yeah.”

“You guys would make such a cute couple. You should ask her out! In fact, bring her to movie night that my sorority is holding for the school! It’s a thriller movie so if she gets scared, you can hold her and stuff.”

He nervously chuckles, “Yeah, I’ll, uh, I’ll think about it.”

“I hope you mean about the movie and not asking her out. Because you should definitely do it,” she sends him a wink and then moves down a seat.

A few minutes later, you burst into the room, earning a few playful hollers and applause from some students. You take a bow and then continue to climb the steps towards your seat. You carefully place a coffee cup onto Bucky’s desk, “Here.”

He takes it with a scrunch of his nose, “What’s this for?”

You settle in your seat and gave a shrug, “I mean, you save me a spot for every class. You don’t have to, but you do. So thanks for saving me the effort of looking like a dumbass for searching the room for an empty spot.”

“You’re welcome, but it’s not a big deal.”

“Still. I wanna thank you.”

“While I appreciate the coffee, maybe you can thank me another way?” he then slaps himself on the forehead, “Wait! I just realized how that sounds and that’s not what I meant!”

You throw your head back with a cackle, “I didn’t think of it that way at first, but now that you pointed it out, yeah, it sounds wrong.”

Bucky groans, “Sorry. Sorry. Anyway, what I meant was that...maybe you wanna...go on a date sometime?”

“S-Sure!” you say surprisingly.

“Great!” Bucky says with much relief, “I hear there’s a movie night comin’ up. Wanna go?”

“I heard it’s a scary movie so I’ll definitely be covering my eyes for most of the film, but sure.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll hold your hand and protect you if need be,” he says with a smirk.

“HALLELUJAH! PRAISE THE LORD!” a booming voice echoes throughout the lecture hall. All eyes land on Sam, who’s standing on the other side of Bucky. He cups his hands around his mouth and hollers, “LADIES, GENTLEMEN, AND THOSE IN-BETWEEN, JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES HAS FINALLY ASKED Y/N L/N OUT!” students from all over the room burst into applause and cheers which makes you and Bucky want the ground to open up and eat you both.

#bucky barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes #bucky x reader #marvel #marvel au #au #college au

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love-msj · 3 years

Text

You Sent Me Flying

INVOLVED: Mercedes Jones & Samuel Evans TIME FRAME: Saturday, February 23rd, 2021 LOCATION: -: New York City, New York NOTES: Valentine’s Day.

Mercedes eyed her phone as she typed out a response to her assistant, she tried to stay as still as possible as the woman before her completed her makeup for the night. She almost opted out of this event, for obvious reasons but at the last minute she chose to attend it. She was a highly requested guest, which wasn’t a shock, however she had caught wind and a usually invite for one turned into an invite for two. This would be their first public appearance as a supposed couple in the NYC high fashion nightlife. She was scared as hell even if she didn’t show it, her heart had been pounding her chest all day. However part of her felt that this would be a great practice run, right? Or they possible end up looking dumb ass hell in front of four maybe five hundred different notable celebrities and people alike. Exhaling softly she looked up at herself in the mirror and then towards the double doors that lead into another extended part of their Presidential Suite at the Pierre, Taj Hotel where Samuel occupied its space.

Samuel sat awkwardly in the director’s chair. "Can we?" He said, turning the chair so he could see his profile in the mirror. The barber worked effortlessly to shape his stringy mass of blond locks into something respectable. They wanted it all off. He wanted a half an inch trim. They compromised and landed as something just to his broad shoulders. A win for both sides by his reckoning. Now he sat stiffly backed, as the stylist moussed his hair, placing it into a low man bun. Satisfied with his reflection. “Thank you.” He grinned kindly as he got to his feet, nervously rubbing his hand down his sides. "Umm.." He offered his hand to the stylist, a show of gratitude, wondering if a tip was in order. "You're welcome the barber said with a flamboyant giggle. Pointing Samuel to the bed, his clothes were neatly arranged for him. "Did you need anything else?" The barber asked, with a long thirsty look. Samuel shook his head no. Moving over to the bed, he looked down at the suit, eyebrows raised. “This is mine? I mean for me-” He questioned as if there was a mistake. The barber and his assistant's puzzled nods answered his question. Without waiting for the audible confirmation, the blurted out another “Thank you. Then waited on the room to clear so he could get dressed.

Mercedes looked away from the door, her eyes balls themselves the only thing moving as she looked back down at her phone. She hoped that watching the child wouldn’t prove to be too much for her assistant but so far so good. She trusted the woman, it was the child she feared. The thought made her smirk widely “sorry” she said quickly to the woman as she straightened up. Hopefully she didn’t give the young girl a run for her money, and with that she locked her phone and looked up again at her hairstylist began to style her hair, for them they chose something big. Loose curls and extremely full hair, which was a change from her usual silk straight hair styles she pushed for or even her usual bob. She looked at her nails, her eyes taking in the engagement ring that had finally come in. her hands were almost unrecognizable with it on, it left her feeling a series of emotions all the time and she didn’t know why. Maybe because it wasn’t real.

Samuel took his phone from his pocket and dropped down on the bed Facetiming his sister. He fingered the suit idly waiting for the girl to answer. “Hey! Are you at least trying to behave yourself... “ He could tell she’d just put her fist on nonexistent hips. “I’m always good. So you asking me that question is really about you.” Samuel snorted, beginning to wonder what the hell his sister's IQ was. “Whatever… but you know the drill. Happy V-Day and don’t stay up all night.- Nope.. I said what I said.” He countered, before she could raise the objection. “And I don’t care if tomorrow’s a school holiday.” He added, quickly. Addy sighed scowling at the man. “Send me a picture of Mercedes. She’s going to be the prettiest woman there.” Addy said glowing. “Will do.” Samuel said, looking towards the closed adjoining door. “I’m jealous. You don’t want a picture of me?” Addy rolled her eyes, “No… boy’s clothes are boring” Samuel stood, turning the phone so she could see his outfit. “Woah... “ Addy exclaimed, eyes wide. “That suit is pretty.” Samuel turned the camera back around to face himself. “You like it?” he said shocked. “You have no style Sam. God.” She said, hanging up on her brother.

Mercedes watched the woman lightly curl and tease the wig on her head and she shifted only slightly as the makeup artist applied the red lipstick on her lips. She had another assistant on standby always, life was easier that way. When the girl walked over and showed her the shoes she had picked out the three the woman offered her a thumbs up. “I like those” she said through her teeth before she asked for the time and when the girl gave it to her she said “thanks” softly. Her makeup was applied and naturally she looked herself over in the mirror she smiled a little making sure no lipstick was on her porcelain teeth. Her pearly whites glistened and she closed her mouth, making sure she liked the work she continued to look herself over. She stayed still as her makeup artist covered her face slightly with her hands and allowed the hairstylist to spray tons of hair spray. When she was finished she curled a few pieces in the back of the woman’s head, before she allowed Mercedes to stand. Mercedes did so and they all looked her over in the mirror. She turned around to check her hair out a bit, there she stood in a strapless bar, and one too many pairs of spanx. “I like it” she told the girl softly.

Samuel was still chuckling as he stripped off his overpriced tee shirt and jeans. Everything was new about him, but his soul. He could take comfort in that blackened stain still being intact. Sliding into a suit that he knew cost more than his entire neighborhood shouldn’t be easy. But it was. "Roses?" He mumbled, shaking his head. "I am going to look like a walking flower." He stepped into the pants, toeing into the shoes as he did. Then pulled the shirt over his lean rippled frame. Not eating regularly had benefits, soon he would need to put in some gym time to maintain his slender yet muscular frame. He whistled with appreciation, as he picked up the red faced watch. Now this he liked. He fastened it to his arm, admiring himself in the full length mirror. One final adjustment to the waistband of the pants, then put on the belt. He wasn’t sure who the man in the mirror was. It was certainly someone more worldly than he would ever be. He shook off his doubts about this whole evening as he grabbed the matching jacket. "It will be fine." He told himself… then repeated it again “There is nothing to worry about.”

Mercedes moved over towards the gown hanging up and with the help of the young girl she began to get ready, getting into the gown. Her assistant pulled it up over her hips and she allowed to rest off Mercedes’ shoulders as it should. She zipped it up for the woman, placing her hair in front of her shoulders as she did. Once she did, she bent down and rubbed the woman’s legs down with a combination of lotion and baby oil. After that, the girl helped Mercedes into her shoes, zipping them up and tying the ties of them eloquently. When the girl was finished, Mercedes walked in the shoes towards a full length mirror, the girls were pushed up far more than she activated but hey, what could she do? She looked herself over, before her assistant walked over with thousands of dollars in jewelry, the girl placed the 100+ thousand dollar necklace on her neck, her 50+ thousand dollar studs in her ear, the matching tennis bracelet, and her watch on her wrist. The woman was dripping in millions the girl thought as she looked at the woman in the mirror. “You look stunning Mrs. Jones” she complimented just taking her in fully. Mercedes looked at the girl and hid the happiness behind her lips and eyes. “As I should right?” she asked the girl brushing her off, she had to say stuff like that it came with the territory. “I just need our invitation to the after party of the party” she said with air quotes “and my phone in my clutch” she told the girl. She picked up the almost thousand dollar bottle of perfume and sprayed her neck and then her wrist, tapping both together. “What time is it?” she asked again, “I know a photographer wants to photograph me and Samuel” she told the young girl. “Yes he’s waiting near the water fountain, security is in that area. He’s going to snap a few photos and then you guys should proceed to the party. It’s 9:15” she told her thereafter. “Okay” she said “can you see if he’s ready” she asked the girl as she moved to the sitting area where a bottle of wine sat. She needed something to take the edge off a little.

Samuel opted for the director’s chair. Feeling a bit like a kid trying not to get dirty before church. He licked his lips idly scrolling to his YouTube feed. There had to be something worth watching. Nothing stood out to him. He rubbed at his temples, trying to massage away the tension headache that was building behind his eyes. They had pulled their ruse off once. Mercedes was a lot more convincing them him, but he’d done a respectable job. Right? His eyes moved to the adjoining door as it slid open. He rose slowly, “Is it time to go?” he asked, putting his iPhone in his pocket.

Mercedes’ assistant looked at the man, she looked like a totally different person. He cleaned up far better than she expected, she shook her head looking away from him and nodded sheepishly. “She’s ready to go, um, they want to take photos of you two first” she said, tucking hair behind her ear as she looked back up at him longingly before she stepped away. She rested against a wall by the door as she waited for Mercedes to return from the next room. Mercedes poured a full glass of red wine, and she downed it no less. Never really taking a break once her lips touched the glass, thank God for matte lipstick. She fixed another glass full, this time taking it down a little slower before she sat the empty glass against the table trying to calm her nerves. Once she’d inhaled and exhaled a few times, closing her eyes and really settling down. She walked away from the glass and back into the room, she brushed her dress of a little in front idly as she reentered “okay, I am actually ready now” she spoke allowed as she looked at her shoes and the dresses skirt taking them both in, as she stuck her leg out through the split.

Samuel eyebrows rose and fell at the woman’s odd behavior. “Okay…” He said, easily striding forward. He stepped over the threshold, still puzzled by the assistant's weird behavior. That was until he saw Mercedes. His mouth went completely dry and his stomach twisted into a knot. Addy’s words ring too loudly in his ears. The red of the dress, hid and hinted, while in places completely told a story, he’d envy any man for reading. She was an absolute goddess. He felt awkward and unworthy to be in the same room with this woman. At the same time he wanted her more than any person he’d ever laid eyes on.

Mercedes looked up and took Samuel in, damn, he looked really good. She didn’t know how the hair thing was going to work out but she didn’t hate it, which said a lot. She took in his suit that was tailored to perfection and then took in the watch resting against his wrist. Beauty, she thought to herself. She tried not to show an obvious smile as she said “good looking” a bit playfully for her. “Uh” she said awkwardly as she looked at the young girl “my clutch” she said clearing her throat a little. “Here you are,” the girl said, rushing to hand the rose sculpted bag to her. Mercedes nodded and grabbed the bag making sure it’s chain was actually on the inside of it, she simply wanted to hold the bag as is in her hand. “Okay” she said again, looking at Samuel and gesturing with her head towards the door as she picked up some dress material walking towards the door. “You can drop everything off to my home, we will leave the other party and go straight there” she said looking back at the girl quickly before she opened the door to walk out of it.

Samuel stood stunned in the middle of the room. Mercedes had given him a compliment he did not really hear. She then rushed off, moving on with things like the world could continue or should be normal. “Wait…” He said, shaking himself awake. “You look..” He tossed around the average words in his mind that couldn't and won't ever be enough. He recalled a word from his sister’s latest vocabulary test and said it without any further hesitation. “Exquisite. Like you stepped from a dream.” hands gesturing openly to the woman still in awe of her.

Mercedes turned to the man and she nodded her head, a silent thank you. Again, he was just saying that, they all felt compelled to do so she wasn’t stupid. Did she think she was ugly? Heavens no. But compliments hardly reached her heart. She never knew a difference from people’s truths or lies when it came to her and this business. As she walked out into the hallway, she dropped the dress and allowed it to flow making her way towards the elevator so that they could meet the photographer.

Samuel lowered his eyes, hand rubbing at the back of his neck. He was not sad he’d said what he had. He meant it. But Mercedes' knowing dismissal meant something. This was business. He cleared his throat and left the suite, getting to the elevator just in time. The doors opened and, as his custom, he moved to the side, holding the door back so she could enter.

Mercedes walked in as Samuel held the door open, she picked the dress up and made sure she was fully inside before she dropped it to the ground again. She inhaled and exhaled slowly, pressing the L button moving to the side. She looked down at her clutch as she gripped in her hands, long nails sparkling under the light. She shifted on her heels as they rode the elevator down and she touched her chest delicate, resting it against the many diamonds she was sporting.

Samuel stepped into the elevator and stood beside the woman, hand clasped in front him. She was distracting him. How the fuck? His mouth water, as her perfume found his nose. Jesus… He needed to get a handle on himself for the love of God. For the first time a simple truth came to mind, it had been weeks since he’d gotten laid and right now, his fiancé.. Boss… business partner… was a twelve course meal, and he could eat.

Mercedes placed some hair over her shoulder as she waited for the doors to open, watching the numbers descend as they moved downward. She looked over at the man for a moment before she looked away and shifted on her heels gently. As the doors opened she picked her dress up gently and moved out of the elevator in the direction that her assistant told her to go, to meet the photographer. When she walked out the building towards the waterfall she said “hi” to the man as he approached with his hands stretched.

Samuel nodded to the elevator attendant, swallowing hard. He moved behind Mercedes exiting the elevator, slipping one hand into his pocket, and rested the other on his stomach. He kept his gate at a cool, casual, pace that easily matched the short woman’s purposeful stride. She seemed so professional to him despite the softness of her appearance. He moved up beside her as they approached the photographer, nodding to the man.

“Hi Ms. Jones, it is a pleasure. My name is Daniel” the photographer said “and you are a special guest tonight so I was just instructed to take a couple photos of you and you plus-one” he said thoughtfully. “I thought right over here before the waterfall would be amazing” he told her with a smile. “It couldn’t possibly compare to your beauty but it will be a nice background view” he said gesturing where he wanted them to stand.

Mercedes nodded her head at the man, releasing the dress “of course” she said to him as she moved before the waterfall. She held the clutch with both hands and she looked towards the man. She wasn't one for photos, she actually hated taking them if you asked her. But they were necessary at certain points of time, this she knew, and unlike most photos taken of her around New York in this moment she couldn’t just ignore him and let him do his ‘work’ she must engage.

Samuel shifted but understood what it meant. A smirk came to his lips as he moved to stand near the waterfall. The man was correct. The backdrop didn’t compare to her beauty but just as before she didn’t even respond to his words, just agreed and moved to stand near him. He fidgeted, but moved in just over the woman’s shoulder awkwardly, like a boy at his first prom. Truth be told. It was.

The man looked at the two with a raised brow as they stood there, awkwardly. He ushered them to pose “maybe you could” he said gesturing to the other man as he held the camera up looking at the two through the lens.

Mercedes offered the man a small smile as he held the camera up, she moved closer to Samuel upon the man’s suggestion. She dropped one of her hands, holding the clutch and looking directly into the lens. Adjusting her hair she looked to the man once more as snapped several pictures of them both.

Samuel nodded, catching on to the looks they were really after. As Mercedes moved in closer, had no choice but to place his arm around her waist. With that he tightened his grip, looking down on the woman. He wasn’t going for love. That would come off as fake. He went with what was nature in this moment. Lust.

Mercedes felt Samuel’s hand and she swallowed hard, she wanted to look at him but the heat rising on her cheeks wouldn’t let her. So instead, against her wishes she actually smiled brightly, showing off her pearly white teeth for a change. And when the man told them he was done, she looked up at Samuel innocently for a moment before she looked away. “Thanks” she told the man as she pulled away from Samuel and began to walk towards the direction she knew the party was being held. Walking past a multitude of bodies, that seemingly parted the red sea for her as she made way.

In the last moments as the camera shot away, using lust died away for Samuel. It happened the moment Mercedes smiled. It was genuine and bright. The look of her all a glow, gave him a directive for the evening, keeping that smile on her face. He grinned at the photographer as if he and the man were in on some private joke. He did not rush to catch Mercedes, her short steps could not take her far. He took her arm as she moved, parting the crowd. He slid his long finger down her perfect skin and then intertwined her fingers in her. “Slow down.” His whispered leaning close to her ear.

Looking at him she nodded her head “I didn’t realize” she said sheepishly to him, looking away as he laced their fingers. It felt so good to be touched by a man, even if it were just a touch of the hand she thought in her mind. Or was she desperate? Walking towards the entrance of the massive ballroom, she looked around at everyone and turned to the woman standing at the door that gave her a single rose. She offered the woman a small smile as she walked into the room further, a few people watched, others took in Samuel. She for the first time felt like a fish out of water, she any other day never even saw half these people in the room. They nothing more than ass lickers, but today they were in her shoes and she in theirs.

Samuel chuckled lightly going back to his full height. “Is tonight business or a kind of pleasure?” He asked, raising his eyebrow. He nodded to the rose lady. His face fell a bit, as he noted the quick glances or in most cases open stares. “From the looks on everyone's faces, I’d assume you don’t often attend these kinds of shindigs.” He said, tugging at his suit jacket.

“A little of both, some of these events I get paid to attend, while well it is a Valentine’s Day affair” she replied back to him still looking around. “No, I don’t. Especially not with a man” Mercedes replied through her teeth and she smiled at another Fashion Mogul as she passed them by.

“A little of both…” Samuel mouthed, nodding his head. He chuckled, looking down at the woman. “Can you drink and dance at these things or not?” He asked curiously. The idea that you could get paid to party too much was unbelievable. “ooOh… I see.” he said remembering their conversation from before. Not bitterly but as a simple matter of truth. “Well,” He grinned. Lifting her arm he brought her hand to his lips and kissed the back of her hand. “Let’s give them something to talk about.”

“Of course” Mercedes said looking at him “they expect me to be my normal self, though I guess my normal self doesn’t really dance with people that much” she said more so to herself. “People pay to ‘party’ in the same room with me” she shrugged. “Though mostly I have a few drinks then leave, I never stay longer than 15-30 minutes” she told him. As he lifted her hand and kissed it she looked up at him, trying to keep her shock and amusement at bay as she processed his statement. “How so?” she asked curiously, as she swallowed hard. Though he’d proven his point considering the bright flashes from photographers nearby.

Samuel eyebrows climbed as she matter of factly said, yes to his question. Now that was some rich people shit. “Wow… Just to be in your presence.” He whistled low under his breath, gazing into her lovely hazel eyes. He leaned in close to her ear an excuse to breathe her in, “By having a good time with your fiancé.” He stood back, and raised a challenging eyebrow at the woman.

Mercedes smirked at him a bit, she didn’t think about it that way often she just knew people were opportunist however factually what he said was accurate. As he leaned his close she held her breath thinking he’d steal a kiss, he didn’t which she was left to decide if it felt her longing for one or happy he hadn’t. At his words she nodded slowly another smirk forming on her lips and she said “of course” back to him. She was going to need a drink or more, along with a cold shower before the night was over.

Samuel looked around the well dressed crowd, “Now where is the bar? Or are they bringing around drinks on trays like in the movies?” He asked, staring to move through the crowd again. “So, My next question is can you dance or is it just a choice not to?”

“I am sure there are servers somewhere” Mercedes replied back to him as she gazed across the way, seeing someone that was utterly revolting to her head for her and Samuel. “Choice, by choice always” she said quickly to him as she clutched his hand tightly. “Heather” she said before the woman could speak her name first, she looked her up and down and smirked. “So nice to see you out” she lied.

Heather Radcliff approached the only woman on the planet she despised at this present time in her life. “Mercedes” she said in unison with the woman stepping in line, she chuckled a champagne glass in her hand. “I could say the same about you hermit” she said wickedly as her eyes left the woman and looked the man up and down. Taking him in “Heather Radcliff, Editor in Chief of Marie Claire magazine” she said formally introducing herself as she held her hand out “you must be Mercedes’ assistant?” she asked him next.

Samuel grimaced in confusion, “Huh?” He asked, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand. As the woman came into frame, Samuel tensed. His face darkened at the set of insults that the woman managed to hurl in under five seconds. He gazed down, seizing Mercedes’ eyes with his own, while he let Heather’s hand linger in the air. In a tone steep in southern charm, “If she asked me to be. That could be arranged.” He said, thumb caressed the back of her hand again, and he was glad he’d chosen the one with the huge rock on it. After a moment, he reengaged the Heather woman. Smiling, he took her hand brushing a light kiss just above her knuckles. “I’m Samuel. Mercedes has graciously agreed to be my wife.” He said, letting the woman's hand fall away.

Mercedes eyed the woman slightly as she threw a question at Samuel that made her nostrils flair and caused her to squint her eyes. When the man answered for them she loosened her grip on his hand a bit, calming down a little now though she wished to get away from the woman. Seeing a tray she took an opportunity and grabbed two glasses, offering him “here sweetie” she said lovingly with a smile before she looked back at Heather. “And your-”

“Husband is home, with our two beautiful children” Heather said without looking at the woman instead she examined Samuel a little more before she said. “Something you know nothing about” left her lips as she fixed the fabric on the woman’s shoulder before she walked off. “Enjoy your night” she said cutely as she moved towards another group of party guests.

Samuel accepted the glass from Mercedes, with a mouthed, “thank you,” and a smile. His face dropped into an angry scowl as the woman said her last piece to Mercedes cuttingly, and walked away almost as quickly as she had arrived. “She’s a bitch.” He said, turning to look at the woman on his arm. “You okay?” He asked sincerely.

Taking a sip from the glass in her hand Mercedes offered the woman a knowing smile, as she finished her sentence and threw another insult at her. Her eyes followed the woman as she left before she turned to Samuel “yes she is” she told him. “I’m fine, it’s nothing” she shrugged her shoulders lightly before she said “would you like to find a seat?” curiously.

“So… Did you steal Heather’s man or something? She’s bitter.” Samuel grinned. Craning his neck a bit looking for an empty table. “Come on. I assume there are a pair of nifty little cards with your name on one of these tables.” He asked as they moved on further into the ballroom.

Mercedes chuckled, shaking her head, “hardly” she replied to him “just her job” she admitted. “I couldn’t help it, I am better at it than she is,” she told him. “She’s probably over there telling them I am lying about my engagement” she said looking back. At his words she nodded again taking another sip from her glass as she followed him.

Samuel laughed out amused by her statement. “That’s what she gets.” He’d considered that. “No doubt.” He agreed, “It will be fine.” he offered, trying to be convincing in a way that would sound genuine. He knew she was looking in the Heather woman's direction, it’s what all women did. He leaned over and kissed her lightly on her forehead. “We got this. “

As he kissed her forehead she smirked at him “okay” she said as they approached the tables, seeing a few seated guests she looked at them as they passed them by. “Mercedes!” a voice rang out happily behind the two. Mercedes turned to see the red head “hi, Pamela” she said to the woman as she approached she and Samuel. “Your seat is at my table, yours and your guest” she said looking over at Samuel taking him in. “Great” Mercedes said just playing the part at this point she found none of these people to be friends or even associates really. They all just shared the same industry.

Samuel offered the woman a lopsided grin, raising his eyebrow in challenge to the less than believable ‘okay’. “Say it with your chest.” He said, doing a quick impressions of Kevin Hart. He covered his laughter as a new woman approached, taking a drink from the wine in his hand. The constant head to toe looks made the skin between his shoulder blades crawl. He sighed deeply, lowering the glass, then placed his hand in the small of Mercedes back guiding her towards their table.

“You look amazing by the way” the woman said to Mercedes, it wasn’t a lie by any means it was the truth. “I would ask you who are you wearing, but I can just about guess that” she chuckled as she walked with the two. “Oh, pardon me, I am Pamela Nelson” she said to the tall fellow “and you are?” she asked him curiously.

“Same as you,” Mercedes said, nodding her head at the woman though she was in fact wearing something from last season. That made Mercedes' skin crawl but she said nothing of course, that wasn’t her business after all. They made their way to the table and she smirked “Samuel Evans, my fiancé to answer your real question” she said taking a sip of wine. “Ladies, gentlemen” she said to the other people at the table as she stood before her assigned seat. “Oh please don’t stand up” she waved the people off.

Samuel took the time as they moved to admire Mercedes. Smirking as the newcomer echoed his early comment. “Doesn’t she.” he added, taking down the rest of his wine in a final gulp. Thinking movies were good trainers. He moved in behind Mercedes and pulled out her chair standing near it as he waited for her to take a seat. Now his nervous rose in the pit of his stomach. Short conversations in passing were one thing, but now they were cornered. Here goes nothing he thought swallowing his nerves.

Pamela chuckled at Mercedes brushing her off “oh Mercedes you are such a jokester” she told her as she sat down next to her husband. “So, tell us everything! How did you two meet? I mean I didn’t know you were even dating you are so darn busy Miss” she said.

Mercedes looked to the woman and smirked, though she wasn’t at all joking. She sat down and looked at Samuel with a smile “thanks” she said before she sat her glass on the table. “Well” she said with a chuckle, they’d talked about ideas but only one stuck. “A art gallery, Samuel is an artist” she said to them smoothly.

Samuel nodded to Mercedes, unbuttoning his jacket as he moved to take his seat. He pulled at his collar lightly clearing his throat as Mercedes spoke his profession into existence. Mechanic would have been a more truthful route but when in Rome. “I wanted to draw her, but she wouldn’t let me.” He said, with a chuckle.

Vivian’s eyes glinted as the handsome pair approached. “Mercedes… What a pleasant surprise.” She greeted, in a voice husky and rich. “Down Pamela. Let her breathe a bit. It’s clear she's been using her time… Wisely.” She grinned giving Samuel a proper once over. Even taking a moment to chuckle at his little joke. “You do look radiant Mercedes. I’ll attribute that to you. I suppose.” She said, all eyes on Samuel.

At his words Mercedes looked at Samuel yet again chuckling him off, for the, she didn’t know how many times now tonight already. “He’s always joking” she said brushing hair over her shoulder as she looked across the table. “Yeah, well it is love day and it's all in the air” she gestured back to her.

“That’s small talk” Pamela said back to Vivian, “when is the wedding, I mean. Where will it be? Milan? Paris?” she listed before she gasped “Hawaii?” she listed further.

Samuel relaxed slightly as the table collectively laughed at his little joke. He sat back in his chair, tapping his foot under the table.

“Everyone needs a little humor in their life.” Vivian said, rolling her eyes tiredly at Pamela. She was interested in the answers to the woman's questions but thought a bit of tack was a better approach. “You’re an artist? Has your work been displayed anywhere? Mercedes has such impeccable taste. You must be wonderful.”

Mercedes looked to Pamela and she took a sip from her glass before she sat it back down. “He haven’t decided yet,” she told her respectfully. She looked at Vivian again and smirked at her compliment as she wondered what answer he would give the woman. Did he even know enough about art to pull this off? Probably not and then they both will look like jackasses for sure. Great.

Score one. Mercedes shut down the questions about when they were actually getting married. Good thing too, because even he didn’t know the answers to those questions. His eyes shifted to Mercedes as he sat up clasping his hands in front of him. “I hope my work impresses her. But sadly, not yet. I’ve always been a great admirer of the works of Cecile Gray Bazelon and the late Joyce Pensato. Right now I'm working with Harvey Dinnerstein. He is preparing for a showing, hopefully I should be able to showcase one or two of my pieces. Hopefully.”

Vivian rested her chin on the back of her hands, smirking at the young man. Her eyebrows furrowed at the names he dropped. Not her type of artist to be sure, but names she’d heard before. “Impressive. You’ll have to let me know. -Or we’ll have to schedule time to get together. Honestly, I thought you were a model.” She smiled, still admiring the man. “You should let him immortalize you, Mercedes. Let see how good he is good with his hand.”

Mercedes looked at Samuel and tilted her head “I am far too impressed with clothes I assume” she joked as she looked at him again. As he began to list off people she squinted slightly taken back Joyce maybe, the rest were actually out of her league. At his last words she plastered a smile and looked away from him, now that was a huge ass shoe to fill and gap to cover. “A mode” she repeated “he is amazing to look at isn’t he” she said looking at Samuel, that wasn’t a lie. Looking at Vivian “you know I am just so darn busy with Vogue… I am shocked we get as much time together as we do. Me sit still longer than an hour?” she chuckled.

Pamela smirked eyes bouncing from person to person, “I know” she agreed with Mercedes. The lady schedule didn’t add room for much, they all assumed she’d be alone with her thousand dollar jewels and furs forever, or maybe she just thought that. “Wow, a marriage” she said shaking her head again “you know what comes next, a baby carriage” she sang out. “You a mother Mercedes, how iconic! A mini you strutting NYC, we have to see it” she said nodding her head.

Samuel chuckled, biting his lip, “You said it not me. He told Mercedes, reaching over he stroked her bare arm lovingly, “However, I’ll let it slide. At Vivian’s compliment he grinned, the tips of his ears to darkening. “You’re kind. I’m just a man who likes to work with his hands.” he told the group looking down at his finger. “We’ll have to see. Fingers crossed Cecil like me pieces. “Mercedes is going to be a great mother. When the time comes. My sister already adores her.” He said reaching for the woman’s hand. Beaming as he told the absolute truth for the first time tonight.

Vivian eyebrow rose. She’d actually been thinking escort. Mercedes was too driven to find anyone. It was the idle joke of everyone in the fashion industry. ‘I never kind dear. I’m direct. If painting doesn’t work out. I’d be glad to take some test shots of you. As a matter of fact.” she reached in her pocket and handed the man a card. “I insist on it. Not many men could pull off that suit.” She exhaled, and uncrossed her legs, “I could see it. Didn’t think our Ms. Jones wants it. But one never knows.” she said, asking a question of Mercedes without saying the words.

Mercedes looked at Pamela, “well you know” she said with a heavy sigh “I’ve already given birth to my career” she said to the woman matter-of-factly. “It was a hard push and pull,” she exclaimed. “However, yes we do have a tiny tot we take care of” she chuckled. “And one day who knows, I may have a child who knows” she shrugged “32 is up there….” she said, looking at Vivian.

Samuel chuckled as Mercedes dismantled the small jabs of the other woman at the table with grace. He only wished Mrs. Heather had been around. Samuel reached the card, tucking it into his pocket. “I’ll think about it.” He told Vivian with no intentions of ever doing so. “She is joking. I think adding at least two more kids would be great. I want a big family.” He interjected, watching Mercedes face for a reaction

“Vivian, do you always keep business cards on you?” she asked slyly, before she looked at Samuel. She shook her head and chuckled “and wreck this figure?” she asked him jokingly. “I’m only kidding,” she added, looking to everyone else. “Once things are finalized and we really get to planning. Building our dream home” she said lying through her teeth. “We will, you know, venture into those neck of the woods…”

Vivian grinned at Mercedes, then chuckled. “For the right person… Of course.” She answered a wiry grin on her face. “Mercedes, Mercedes… My, my I must applaud you.” She said raising her glass, “To the new Ms. Jones.”

Samuel held Mercedes eyes, peeling back layer after layer for her clothes, “That could never be done.” He said, seriously. Then chuckled with the rest of the table, as Mercedes went on laying out a life of lies. He exhaled feeling guilty. She really did need a family. Better yet she deserved one. No matter what she thought.

Pamela looked to the couple, oh the gossip she would tell from this conversation. By the end of the week all of NYC will know that Mercedes lucked up with a real man is actually going to marry him. Shocking. She raised her glass and smirked to herself before she took a sip. She still had plenty of questions however, but she guessed those could wait.

Mercedes looked at Samuel, eyeing him another blush hidden behind a playful eye roll. “You mean to the same Ms. Jones, but future Mrs. Evans” she corrected with a smile. The bitch, what did she mean new Ms. Jones? Men didn’t make or break her, wouldn’t move or shake her. What the hell was wrong with these women?

Samuel raised his glass, smirking at the expression he’d put on Mercedes' face. “To Mercedes Jones.” He said in unison with the table. His eyes shifted to the woman beside him now she was laying it a little too thick. There was no way in hell, she’d ever take his name. Even he thought the idea was laughable. “Ladies if you’d excuse us. Mercedes promised me a dance.” He said rising to his feet, he turned and offered the woman his hand.

Mercedes sat her glass back down avoiding the actual sip, before she looked over at Samuel. At his words she smirked a little and said “excuse us” as she moved to stand up from the table. Leaving her clutch and rose behind on the table as she maneuvered with the gown. “Thank God, I was nearly sick of them….”

Samuel nodded to the collective, smiling as he pulled Mercedes away from the table. “Wow… that was worse than meeting my first girlfriend's dad.” He said, weaving his way through the guests. At the edge of the white and black tile dance floor, Samuel turned the Mercedes and brought her flush against his form, wrapping his hand around her waist, beginning the waltz seamlessly. “Jesus. I needed a timeout…” He breathed whispers in the woman’s ear.

“They are so annoying, judgmental pricks” she said as she looked back at the table. Mercedes followed the man’s lead and when they reached the dance floor, her breath hitched a bit as he pulled her to him. Feeling his hand on her waist she looked up into his eyes as he began to carry her, again following his lead she moved in time with him. Chuckling, she said “thanks for being a trooper” kindly. “Before you know this will all be over and you are free to do whatever your heart desires….”

Samuel moved effortlessly around the floor. His face fell when Mercedes spoke of the eventual end of their entanglement. HIs eyes rose, finding different faces in the room. Heather, Pamela, Vivian. The thought of any of those women turned his stomach. “Who says I’m not doing what my heart desires right now.” He said, eyes going back to her. He smiles, spinning her out then pulling her back to him.

Mercedes eyed him, looking over her shoulder before she looked at his face again curiously. At his statement, she squinted lightly at him before he spun her suddenly and pulled her back. She looked at him, she didn’t believe him at all, he was just saying that. Why she didn’t know however. Usually she would have had something witty to come back with but, right now, no. After a moment she finally spoke and said “because I know”.

Samuel chuckled, “You know nothing Ms. Jones.” He said, shaking his head. “Aside from the interrogation. I’m having a pretty okay time.” He said conversationally. “Come on. You were enjoying yourself just a little over there. Admit it.’

“I know all things Mr. Evans” she challenged a little, listening to him she glanced at a couple who passed by. “Is that so?” she asked him, “it’s not a bad night” she shrugged lightly. “I’ve been to better parties, but none involved a comedian like yourself Mr. Evans. Two kids?” she asked, brow furrowed a smirk on her face.

Samuel bowed his head in conceit. “If you say so.” He pursed his lips, “I am not sure. You tell me.” He said, a twisted smile on his lips. He stretched his eyes, “That wasn’t a lie. I actually want two kids. Or more. Speaking of… Are you really going to take my name?”

“Best of luck to that lucky lady” Mercedes replied without thought. At the question he posed she chuckled lightly “why wouldn’t I?” she asked before she corrected “why wouldn’t I take my future husband’s last name?” curiously. “Do you think I am that shallow… or self absorbed?” she asked him. “You know it’s every woman’s dream to find her Prince, marry him, and in turn become the Princess…”

Samuel laughed, “That is cold. You don’t want to have my babies.” He said, a mock hurt on his face. He shrugged, shaking his head. “I never said any of that. I just thought I’d take your name.” He chuckled. “Well, then that settles it. I have to take your name because God knows ain’t nothing prince or charming about me.”

Shaking her head Mercedes licked her red painted lips, she hadn’t a clue why he had to joke around so much. There was no harm it however it could be tiring sometimes, but she assumed that was just his nature. “You are too much…”

Samuel stared down at the woman turning his head. “I am.” He agreed. But this was really him taking the liberty to be free. Something he rarely got to do. He bit his lips face going still, “I want you to accept something for me. Would you do that?” He asked her seriously.

She continued to move in time with him before she asked her something that made her very uneasy. However, she brushed it off and said “okay, sure” a little hesitancy in her voice still. Despite herself Mercedes couldn’t help but to look into his eyes as she waited for his remark.

Samuel rubbed his thumb over the bare skin of Mercedes back. A personal gesture, but perfect for the eyes of the multitude of onlookers in the room. “For tonight stop blowing off complements. You really are the most stunning woman here tonight.”

At his words she looked off before she looked back at him “okay” she said quietly, Mercedes really didn’t understand why he cared or why that bothered him so much. “That’s easy I guess…”

Samuel looked down at the woman. She had everything, -was more than he’d ever be. Yet, she was humble. Why? “Thank you.” He said holding her just a little closer as they glided peacefully into the next song.

#samcedes rp #thread.#thread: you sent me flying

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papermoonloveslucy · 3 years

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SPEECH FOR CIVIC ORGANIZATION

February 4, 1949

“Speech for Civic Organization” (aka “Liz Debates Alaska in Town Forum”) is episode #29 of the radio series MY FAVORITE HUSBAND broadcast on February 4, 1949 on the CBS radio network.

Synopsis ~ Liz, anxious to win the approval of an important dinner guest, simply agrees with everything he says. The guest is so impressed with her intelligence that he invites her to be a speaker at his next civic forum.

“My Favorite Husband” was based on the novels Mr. and Mrs. Cugat, the Record of a Happy Marriage (1940) and Outside Eden (1945) by Isabel Scott Rorick, which had previously been adapted into the film Are Husbands Necessary? (1942). “My Favorite Husband” was first broadcast as a one-time special on July 5, 1948. Lucille Ball and Lee Bowman played the characters of Liz and George Cugat, and a positive response to this broadcast convinced CBS to launch “My Favorite Husband” as a series. Bowman was not available Richard Denning was cast as George. On January 7, 1949, confusion with bandleader Xavier Cugat prompted a name change to Cooper. On this same episode Jell-O became its sponsor. A total of 124 episodes of the program aired from July 23, 1948 through March 31, 1951. After about ten episodes had been written, writers Fox and Davenport departed and three new writers took over – Bob Carroll, Jr., Madelyn Pugh, and head writer/producer Jess Oppenheimer. In March 1949 Gale Gordon took over the existing role of George’s boss, Rudolph Atterbury, and Bea Benadaret was added as his wife, Iris. CBS brought “My Favorite Husband” to television in 1953, starring Joan Caulfield and Barry Nelson as Liz and George Cooper. The television version ran two-and-a-half seasons, from September 1953 through December 1955, running concurrently with “I Love Lucy.” It was produced live at CBS Television City for most of its run, until switching to film for a truncated third season filmed (ironically) at Desilu and recasting Liz Cooper with Vanessa Brown.

REGULAR CAST

Lucille Ball (Liz Cooper) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. With Richard Denning, she starred in a radio program titled “My Favorite Husband” which eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon.

Richard Denning (George Cooper) was born as Louis Albert Heindrich Denninger Jr., in Poughkeepsie, New York. When he was 18 months old, his family moved to Los Angeles. Plans called for him to take over his father’s garment manufacturing business, but he developed an interest in acting. Denning enlisted in the US Navy during World War II. He is best known for his roles in various science fiction and horror films of the 1950s. Although he teamed with Lucille Ball on radio in “My Favorite Husband,” the two never acted together on screen. While “I Love Lucy” was on the air, he was seen on another CBS TV series, “Mr. & Mrs. North.” From 1968 to 1980 he played the Governor on “Hawaii 5-0″, his final role. He died in 1998 at age 84.

Ruth Perrott (Katie, the Maid) was also later seen on “I Love Lucy.” She first played Mrs. Pomerantz (above right), a member of the surprise investigating committee for the Society Matrons League in “Pioneer Women” (ILL S1;E25), as one of the member of the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League in “Lucy and Ethel Buy the Same Dress” (ILL S3;E3), and also played a nurse when “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” (ILL S2;E16). She died in 1996 at the age of 96.

Bob LeMond (Announcer) also served as the announcer for the pilot episode of “I Love Lucy”. When the long-lost pilot was finally discovered in 1990, a few moments of the opening narration were damaged and lost, so LeMond – fifty years later – recreated the narration for the CBS special and subsequent DVD release.

Gale Gordon (Rudolph Atterbury) and Bea Benadaret (Iris Atterbury) had not yet joined the cast as regular characters.

GUEST CAST

Frank Nelson (Mr. Barton) was born on May 6, 1911 (three months before Lucille Ball) in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He started working as a radio announcer at the age of 15. He later appeared on such popular radio shows as “The Great Gildersleeve,” “Burns and Allen,” and “Fibber McGee & Molly”. This is one of his 11 performances on “My Favorite Husband.” On “I Love Lucy” he holds the distinction of being the only actor to play two recurring roles: Freddie Fillmore and Ralph Ramsey, as well as six one-off characters, including the frazzled train conductor in “The Great Train Robbery” (ILL S5;E5), a character he repeated on “The Lucy Show.” Aside from Lucille Ball, Nelson is perhaps most associated with Jack Benny and was a fifteen-year regular on his radio and television programs.

Steve Allen (Scott Campbell, Expert on Alaska) was a talk show and variety host as well as a published composer. Although he was seen with Lucille Ball on awards and quiz shows, their first time acting together on screen didn’t come until 1978′s “Lucy Calls The President”. In 1980, Ball appeared on the premiere of “The Steve Allen Comedy Hour”. He died in 2000 at age 78.

TRIVIA: Madelyn Pugh and Bob Carroll Jr. were writers for the Steve Allen radio show and left that job to write for “My Favorite Husband.” They paid Allen to write his own show one week so they could focus on creating a script submission for “My Favorite Husband.”

EPISODE

ANNOUNCER: “As we look in on the Coopers tonight, they’ve settled down for a quiet evening at home. Liz has discovered an intelligence quiz in a magazine, but she’s having George’s attention, because he is lost in a gripping, blood-curdling murder mystery.”

George is reading “The Mummy’s Tummy” but Liz spoils the ending to get his attention. George can’t seem to answer any of the IQ questions correctly.

Q: “What is the name for the chemical formula H2S04?”

A: Sulfuric Acid

Q: “What does it say on the lid of a United States mailbox?”

A: Pull Down

Q: “For what was Ma Ferguson noted?”

A: The first woman Governor of Texas

George decides to quiz Liz, asking her a few questions.

Q: “What is the poop deck of the ship?”

Liz’s Answer: “The deck where the sailor’s rest when they’re pooped.”

Real Answer: “A raised portion of the rear deck.”

Q: “Does sound travel faster or slower in water than it does in air?”

Liz’s Answer: “Next question.”

Q: “Chicle is the main ingredient in chewing gum. Where is the largest deposit found?”

Liz’s Answer: “Under theatre seats.”

Liz realizes that they aren’t very smart and should probably do something about it. Dr. Guilfoyle, author of the quiz, suggests that a score under 50 needs to be addressed.

Liz is going to send for his book “How To Improve Yourself.”

LIZ: “Look at the people who recommend this book: Truman and Goldwyn.” GEORGE: “Harry Truman and Sam Goldwyn?” LIZ: “No, Sam Truman and Harry Goldwyn!”

Harry Truman (1884-1972) was the 33rd president of the United States from 1945 to 1953, succeeding Franklin D. Roosevelt after his death. He implemented the Marshall Plan to rebuild the economy of Western Europe, and established the Truman Doctrine and NATO. Sam Goldwyn (1879 -1974) was a film producer best known as the founder of several motion picture studios in Hollywood.

A few days later, the book has arrived and Katie the Maid notices Liz is engrossed in it. Liz states that the Doctor has three rules to impress people:

Learn Ten New Words a Day

Be a Good Listener

Have One Subject Down Cold So You Can Steer The Conversation Around To It

Liz’s has already got her ten new words and has put them in a sentence.

LIZ: “By assiduous application, I have promulgated a plethora of altruistic ubiquity and lugubrious perspicacity.”

The telephone rings, it is George telling Liz he is bringing home an important person named Mr. Barton, to dinner.

LIZ: “How important is he, George? Sirloin, T-bone, meatloaf, or hash?” GEORGE: “Strictly sirloin.”

George explains that Mr. Barton is the one who picks the speakers for the open forums in town. George wants to get picked to be one of the first speakers so he can impress his boss, Mr. Atterbury, and possibly land a raise. George warns Liz to be herself and not try to impress him.

Liz decides to enact rule #3 and cracks open an encyclopedia to pick the subject. Much to her surprise, the subject she randomly picks is bees! Walking up to the house that evening, Mr. Barton (Frank Nelson) confides in George that he is looking forward to meeting a simple housewife, since in his line of work the women are always trying too hard to impress him with their intellect. George introduces Liz to Mr. Barton, who immediately notices that her vocabulary is amped up. Unfortunately, Liz is using the wrong words most of the time, saying ‘plethora’ for ‘pleasure’ and ‘diversify yourself’ for ‘divert yourself.’

George assures a nervous Mr. Barton that Liz is ‘just an old fashioned girl’.

MR. BARTON: “Sounds like she’s had too many Old- Fashioneds!”

An Old Fashioned is a cocktail made by mixing sugar with bitters and water, adding whiskey or brandy, and garnishing with orange zest and a cocktail cherry. It is traditionally served in a special glass called an Old Fashioned glass. A variation on this wordplay was used on “I Love Lucy” in “Million Dollar Idea” (ILL S3;E13) in 1954 when Lucy (disguised as an average housewife selected at random) describes the taste of Aunt Martha’s Old Fashioned Salad Dressing to deliberately encourage buyers to cancel.

LUCY: “Looks like Aunt Martha had too many Old-Fashioneds!”

In the kitchen, George tells Liz to stop using fancy words, so Liz moves on to rule #3 - her special subject: bees! She no sooner starts buzzing about bees when she is chided by George.

GEORGE (sternly aside): “Liz! Haven’t you forgotten? Mr. Barton’s forum!” LIZ: “Well, I’m for ‘em, too!”

Coincidentally, Lucille Ball was one of several actors known as ‘Queen of the ‘B’s’ - which referred to ‘B’ pictures - films that were done quickly, on a budget, with lesser-known actors. In 1963′s “Lucy’s Barbershop Quartet” (TLS S1;E19) Lucy suggests they sing about bees!

Mr. Barton tells George he is going to sponsor a Shakespearean Company, if they can convince the City Council to fund them.

LIZ: “To bee or not to bee!”

"To be, or not to be" is the opening of a soliloquy by Prince Hamlet in William Shakespeare's play Hamlet, Act 3, Scene 1. In the speech, Hamlet contemplates death and suicide. It is one of the most quoted phrases in all of literature. To Be or Not to Be is a also the title of a 1942 film starring Lucille Ball’s good friend Carole Lombard and Jack Benny, who later became her next door neighbor. The plot concerns a troupe of actors in Nazi-occupied Poland. The film was released one month after Lombard was killed in an airplane crash.

George drags Liz into the hall again, warning her to stop talking about bees! After telling him to “mind his own beeswax”, Liz reluctantly agrees just to listen attentively and agree with everything Mr. Barton says. This works so well, that Mr. Barton barely acknowledges George, but only talks to Liz! He is so impressed by Liz, he offers to have her on the panel of their very first forum on Saturday night! She instantly agrees!

Two days later she learns that the forum’s topic is “the effect of jet propulsion and supersonic flight on the future of aviation.” But Liz is un-phased. She has been preparing by buying a new dress, which she tells George has ‘a dive bomb neckline.’

George and Liz role play to prepare for the forum. Against George’s advice, Liz intends to talk about the Wright Brothers!

Orville and Wilbur Wright were inventors and pioneers of aviation. In 1903 the Wright brothers achieved the first powered, sustained and controlled airplane flight; they surpassed their own milestone two years later when they built and flew the first fully practical airplane.

At the meeting that night, Mr. Barton announces to the assembled crowd that their aviation expert, Colonel Davis, could not make it.

MR. BARTON: “He started her from Los Angeles, but he got slightly mixed up in a snowstorm and has just cabled us from Bombay, India.”

Bombay, India is the capital city of the Indian state of Maharashtra. It was formerly renamed Mumbai in 1995 to better reflect the city’s roots and cut ties with its British origins. Coincidentally, a few months after this broadcast, the 1942 film Bombay Clipper was re-released. Although the Lucy gang never traveled to Bombay, it was mentioned in 1955′s “The Hedda Hopper Story” (ILL S4;E21) when everyone was looking for Mrs. McGillicuddy.

RICKY (Into phone): “Do you have any flights numbered 930? You do? Where's it coming in from? Bombay?” LUCY: “Bombay?” RICKY: “Well knowing your mother... No, even she wouldn't fly from New York to Los Angeles by way of India.”

Instead, Mr. Barton announces that the guest speaker is a famous authority on Alaska, Mr. Scott Campbell (Steve Allen). Unfortunately, Liz knows nothing about Alaska - so she starts to talk about the Wright Brothers instead!

In 1949 Alaska was not yet one of the United States, but was a US territory. The statehood movement gained its first real momentum in 1946 and Alaska was officially proclaimed a state on January 3, 1959. To mark this event, Desilu created a special episode of “The Westinghouse Desilu Playhouse” in which the Ricardos and Mertzes travel to Nome to cash in on a land deal, although no actual filming was done in the 49th state.

In 1952’s “Lucy Gets Ricky on the Radio” (ILL S1;E32) Lucy presciently (but incorrectly) answers the question “What was the last state to be admitted to the union?” by saying Alaska. At the time, the correct answer to the question was Arizona, admitted on Valentine’s Day 1912.

MR. BARTON: “No! When are you going to get to Alaska?” LIZ: “Let me get the plane invented and I’ll fly up there!”

With nothing else to talk about, Liz starts to talk about bees, but Mr. Barton quickly cuts her off and turns the podium over to Mr. Campbell, who launches into a serious speech about the welfare of the children of Alaska. He suddenly turns to Liz and asks “Who is responsible for these children, Mrs. Cooper?”

LIZ: “You really want me to answer that? Wilbur and Orville Wright!”

In the bedtime tag, it is 4 o’clock in the morning and Liz is eating crackers in bed. Wrestling them away from her, George gets cracker crumbs all over the bed. A few seconds later, Liz is eating an apple! George takes it from her. He hears her eating a third time and goes to grab whatever it is away from her.

GEORGE: “Whoah! What was that!” LIZ: “A glass of cold milk. Goodnight, George.”

End of Episode

Bob LeMond reminds listeners that Lucille Ball will soon be seen in the Paramount Picture Sorrowful Jones.

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emberfrostlovesloki · 4 years

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Guess who got into Criminal Minds

I realize that I’m about five years late to this fandom but here’s the first chapter of a story I’m working on. I plan on making Spencer the focus later in the story. The story starts sometime during the middle of season !. Hope you enjoy.

Warnings for chapter 1: Description of murder and mutilated bodies. Discrimination against sex workers.

To Be Held - Chapter One: Death in Seattle

Derek was the last member of the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit to enter the bright room where the rest of the team was gathered. Hotch, J.J., and Gideon had already grabbed a file off of the table laden with paper and pictures. The late agent leaned over the table and swiped the file with the main information about the new case. “So, what are we working with here?” Derek asked. Gideon looked up from his file and replied, “Two murders, one victim female and one victim male. The female was assaulted before her death. The male was…” There was a pause in Gideon’s fact list and Spencer finished the sentence for his boss. “The male was castrated, after his death.” Derek looked up at Spencer with a surprised look, and let out a long sigh. “So what are the similarities? A male and female murdered could mean two different M.O. therefore indicating two unsubs?” It was Elle’s turn to give up the information she had gathered. “It looks like one unsub to me. I think the murders are very religiously symbolic. Apart from torturing the victims the unsub broke the wrists and feel of his targets and laid their bodies in the position of someone who had been crucified.” The team nodded their heads as they took in the new information. Gideon who had pulled out his phone looked up from the glowing screen. “The plane’s ready.Well fill in any other gaps of information on the flight to Seattle. Grab your stuff -- wheels up in ten. As the team filed out of the room Spencer was walking beside Derek and inquired, “So what made you late?” Derek looked at the genius and said, “I overslept.” Hotch turned and gave Derek a knowing look before dashing down the stairs to his desk.

The BAU team was in the air and in their regular seats. So far the team had found out the identities of the two victims. The male was Jefferson Pyne, 19, sophomore at Washington State University, he had been studying fashion merchandising, had good grades, and was in the BYX fraternity. The female was Sydney Grost, 31, she had worked as an escort in the greater Seattle and Washington area. Both Jefferson and Sydney’s bodies had been dragged into the woods where they were found two days apart by a hiker and cyclist.

The plane landed smoothly on the runway. As Elle stepped out onto the tarmac she turned to J.J. and said, “Man this weather is really going to get to me. If Twilight has taught me anything from my youth, it’s that in Washington it’s always raining.” Before J.J. could make a joke about how Elle had read Twilight in her youth, Spencer chimed in with, “Actually, Twilight miscalculated how much it rains in Forks. It rains about 15% of the time, not 85% like Meyer’s implied.” J.J. and Elle tried to stifle their giggles as they both turned to look back at Dr. Reid. “You’ve read Twilight?” J.J. asked incredulously to Spencer. To her it was an almost impossible idea,that Dr. Spencer Reid, a man with three degrees and a genius level IQ had read Twilight. Spencer replied with, “Of course I have. It’s part of the cultural zeitgeist of the 21st century. I couldn’t not read it, could I?” The rhetorical question was all too much for J.J. and Elle and they turned around and giggled, quietly, but still, they had to laugh at the concept. They didn’t see Dr. Reid’s reaction, but he bit his lower lip in confusion, and wondered why reading a book that was immensely popular was funny in regards to him.

As the BAU was whisked away to the East Precinct of the Seattle Police Department. Upon arriving at the glass exterior the team was greeted by the Police Chief. Gideon stepped forward in his position of authority, extending his hand and saying, “My name is Jason Gideon, head of the Behavioral Analysis unit. This is my team, agent Hotchner, agent Morgan, agent Greenaway, agent Jareau, and Dr. Reid.” The chief replied by firmly shaking Gideon’s hand, and replying with, “My name is Officer Carmen Best, it’s a pleasure to meet you, and your team. Let’s go inside and get started.”

In a secure room of the police building the team settled down and waited for Chief Carmen to give them the general briefing which she began almost immediately after they were seated. “Two days ago we were made aware of the death of two individuals from the Seattle area. At first we assumed that there could be two different killers, due to the differences in the age and sex of the victims, as well as the method of bodily mutilation. However, after examining the bodies, the similarities were too hard to ignore. The escort company that Ms. Grost worked for is called Fantasy Girls. We've had police officers in plain clothes canvas the building a few times, but nothing seems out of place. Seattle has a lot of tourists from Canada and abroad. We fear that this might be a foreign attack and the unsub might get away before we can find and convict them. That’s all we have right now apart from the evidence you have been already given. Do you have any questions or observations so far?” Chief Carmen looked around the room to see what she was working with. Morgan cleared his throat and spoke up saying, “It’s unlikely that the unsub is not a U.S. citizen. It wouldn’t fit a typical profile. Also, I think this unsub must be older, around 30 to 50 to be precise. The technique of disposing of the bodies without anyone noticing means a more experienced killer. Likely someone who has killed before.” Everyone nodded at Morgan’s assertion. After a few seconds of silence Gideon stood and laid out the plan for the rest of the day. “Agent Hotchner and I will go out to the crime scene to see what else we can deduce there. Morgan and Elle, I want you to go out to Fantasy Girls office and profile the owner, employee’s, really anyone who might know something. Also talk to the cops that are doing the surveillance. Dr. Reid, you stay here and get started on the criminology, possible motives and areas the unsub could strike next. J.J. I need you on the media scene here. Get ahold of what the news has on this case, and keep it under wraps if it looks like a story is about to break.” With the orders given each of the separate groups went to do their jobs.

Gideon and Hotch mainly remained silent as they made the thirty minute drive to the trailhead leading to the crime scene. Gideon swerved the steering wheel quickly causing the car to drift an inch on the wet pavement. Hotch let out a small laugh under his breath. Gideon looked over at him wondering what caused such a reaction in the severe man. “You drive like my wife Jason.” Stated Hotch. The statement had both men laughing until their sides hurt. By the time the two friends had caught their breath, the undercover car was pulling into the trailhead parking lot. Vita Nova was clearly printed on a metal sign next to the map of all of the trails in Olympic National Park. Hotch looked over the map and found the path they were looking for. It was titled Journey's Start. Aaron called behind him at Gideon saying, “We had better get a move on, the crime scene is about three miles from here.” Gideon replied, “You said it boss, let’s go.” As they started their walk, the world slipped away into a lush green path. Hotch fingered his gun. The forest muffled the sounds around them and it put him on edge.

Just as Gideon and Hotchner started their hike, Elle and Morgan arrived outside the building hosting the Fantasy Girls headquarters. It was surprising to Morgan and he commented, “I was frankly expecting something more, flashy?” He gave Elle a quizzical look, hoping for clarification. Elle stated, “I imagine that this is the agency for Fantasy Girls. Escorts take men to bars and clubs all over town. Companies like this aren’t brave enough to have a facade where the girls work. It’s shady, but it keeps the company less liable for situations like this. Morgan nodded and the two exited the car and entered the crumbling brick building. The FBI agents quickly scaled the two flights of stairs to find the office door marked 308 Fantasy Girls. As they walked in and an attractive, young woman walked out holding a folder in one hand and a check in the other. She paused for a moment to look Morgan up and down before sliding out of the door and making room in the office. It was empty apart from an elderly secretary. Morgan walked forward and told the secretary, “We’re from the FBI and we need to speak to Riley Yeung.” The secretary, whose name tag said Nancy, clicked her tongue. “Mr. Riley won’t be happy to see you. He already gave a statement to the police. That was yesterday, maybe you should talk to them?” Nancy retorted. Elle stepped forward, and in a warning tone said, “Speaking to Mr. Riley is imperative to making sure more innocent people aren’t killed. We must see him.” Nancy listened with apathy to Elle before picking up the phone at her desk and hitting one. “Mr. Riley, some suits form the FBI are here to talk to you.” As Nancy listened to the response on the other line she pursed her lips. After she hung up the phone and looked up to Morgan and pointed to the door to the left of her desk. “Mr. Riley’s office is at the end of the hall. He’s ready for you.” Morgan turned at the response and opened the door for Elle. As he stepped into the dirty hallway leading to the CEO’s office he overheard a comment that Nancy said under her breath, “Innocent people, all these girls are being paid to be sluts and whores. They’ll all burn in hell on day.” Morgan thought about turning around and interviewing Nancy, but he stopped himself, instead filing the comment away for another time.

Meanwhile, back at the precinct J.J. and Reid were working at the table where the whole team had been two hours ago. J.J. was on her computer researching what the both online and print news media was saying about the murders. She was also emailing her associates in CNN, MSNBC, and FoxNews, with the information she had. J.J. was also working with the police department on when a press briefing might happen. She also was asking Spencer what he had learned so far. As she got new information she added it to a general document with all of the current information. This procedure made filing the final paperwork at the end of a case much easier. So Reid, “what have you found about the illustrious Fantasy Girls website?” J.J. asked. Spencer didn’t even look up from his laptop as he replied with, “It appears that there are three models for requesting a Fantasy Girl.” He paused and swallowed at the idea of requesting a woman. He continued saying, “You can get an individual woman, or get a group of two to four women, and lastly you can host a ‘party,’ which can have up to twelve women.” Spencer breathed out, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. Looking at a screen for too long always gave him a migraine. J.J. looked up at him and asked, “So, have you found anything on Sydney Grost, or the other girls?” Spencer replied with, “Not that I can see from the Fantasy Girls website of social media. At least this company managed to keep the identities of the other workers safe. There’s hardly anything about them apart from promotional pictures and their aliases. However, there is one girl, she seems to be in a lot of pictures with Grost.” J.J. wondered if the owner of Fantasy Girls had just recently whipped the personal information about his workers. If they would be the next unwilling victims lying dead in the words. She wrote down the first part of her thought and then had an idea. “Hey Spencer, you should call Garcia. Send her the pictures with Grost and the other girl. She can find anyone, literally. I’ve seen her do it with about fifty potential Tinder dates. She even checked out a guy for me once.” J.J. smiled at the memory. Spencer raised his eyebrows at the story, but after a second he swivelled out of his chair, grabbing his phone and stepping into the hallway to call Garcia.

“Office of the Supreme Overlord, may I inquire which of my feifs is calling?” Garcia loved the thrill of answering her calls oddly. She considered it one of the most interesting parts of her job. Of course, every once in a while she got reprimanded for her behavior, but it was alway worth the risk. When she heard, “Hey Gracia, it’s Spencer.” She replied with, “Ah, my favorite genius other than myself. How may I be of assistance?” There was a pause on the line and Spencer replied with, “I’ve sent you some photos. I need one of the women identified.” Penelope pulled up her email tab on the sleek computer system. Once she opened the attachment she couldn’t help but say, “Wow, they’re hot.” Penelope thought she hadn’t said it outloud but when Spencer responded with, “What?” she knew she was screwed. She cleared her throat and continued the conversation, “I’m assuming you want me to find the identity of the girl with black hair?” To which Spencer replied, “Yes. The other woman is Sydney Grost, aka The Violet Vixen, she was killed two days ago. I’m hoping if we can identify the other woman we can get a better profile on the unsub.” Penelope nodded along with the information. Her fingers were already flying across her keyboard, uploading the photos into a software that would analyze the basic characteristics of both girls. She hoped that the software would pick up information about both women. Even if one of them wasn’t alive anymore, it would prove that the program she had created was working. As she was working she asked Spencer one more question. “So what’s the other woman’s name?” He quickly said, “Venus Rising, of course that’s an alias. Garcia, I've gotta run and give J.J. a hand with something. Please call me back when you get something.” The line suddenly went dead. Penelope smiled. She loved that Reid never questioned that she could get something done, and he had said “‘Please.’” She took a big swig of Mountain Dew and went back to typing incredibly fast, monitoring her computer screen like the tech genius she was.

Hotch and Gideon had arrived at the scene where the bodys had been found. Gideon hunched under the yellow caution tape that quarantined the area, while Hotch looked for any clues outside of the crime scene. The scene was very clean, Jason noted on his legal pad. Meanwhile, Aaron was examining a small trail that didn’t appear to be part of the larger system of the park. “Jason, I have something here.” He called out when he noticed something unique in the dirt leading out of the crime scene. Gideon walked to Aaron and squatted down to look at what his friend was looking at. When he didn’t see anything noticeable on the earth he asked, “What am I looking for?” Hotchner cleared some of the leaves off of the ground and dug some pebbles off the same area. “There’s a shoe tread, it’s faint, but look here, there's a star imprinted.” Hotch moved his pointer finger around the shape of a star. With Hotchner’s explanation the shoe tread became clear. Gideon responded with, “This unsub is good, he covered his tracks as he left the scene, and if I’m not mistaken that’s a Doc Marten tread. Good find.” Hotch replied simply with, “Thanks.” The younger man stood up and stated, “I’m going to try and follow this path and see where it leads. Also, when I get a signal I’m going to call Chief Best and get a squad out here to rope off the area where I find prints.” Gideon knew that Hotch was as good at his job, and very aware of the situation, but he could not help saying, “Be careful and stay aware.” Before Aaron walked into the overgrown woods.

Once Hotch was out of sight Gideon went back to the scene. Now that he knew that there was something to look for. He swept the blanket of leaves off the ground with his foot. First he found one print, then another, and another. It was clear to him that the unsub had been to this location many times. He had scouted the site for the bodies, but a more important piece of information that that knowledge gave, was that the unsub had scouted his victims. As Gideon processed the information, something else caught his eyes. He leaned down, on the edge of a bush was a strand of orange rope. It was exactly where Mr. Pyne’s body had been found. Jason pulled out his phone and snapped a picture. Next he pulled on some gloves and put the organe fibers into an evidence bag for further analysis.

Derek looked around the filthy office of Mr. Riley. The peeling and dated wallpaper was decorated with lewd photos of naked women. Mr. Riley appeared as repulsive as his interior design aesthetic. He was responding to a question from Elle, “Ms. Greenaway, let me clearly say again that the girls I hire are not coerced in any way.” Elle was annoyed at the response and asked in a calm voice, “Would you tell me how your hiring process works, and who the girls interact with in that process.” Riley took a second, clearly trying to find a way of not totally answering the question. After Elle cleared her throat, waiting for an answer, he responded with, “The first step in becoming a Fantasy Girl is me. I make a job opportunity available on the internet. Next prospective girls will come in for an interview and a photoshoot. If I like a girl enough and I think she offers something new, I’ll give the girl a week to try the work and see if the appeal is there. Not all women want to be a sex worker, even if they think they might like it. IF the girl does well with the clients, and she likes the job, I give her a contract. A contract which she has a right to refuse.” Elle furthered the question by asking, “Who else reads the applications apart from you. Also who gets to decide if a girl is marketable?” Riley was clearly tired of questions he didn’t want to answer but said, “Nancy processes the applications and sends potential girls to me. If a girl in a trial can make at least 15% commission I’ll sign her.” Derek was both recording and transcribing the conversation in his notes. Morgan still felt put off by Riley and asked, “From your income statements it looks like you’re doing very well for yourself. If the murder of Ms. Grost hurts your profits, how are you planning on moving forward with the company?” “Agent Morgan, I’m sure I know what you’re thinking. You see this office, these photos and you're wondering how I’m lining my pockets while screwing over the girls that work for me. Sure I make a nice profit, but in the end I’m keeping these girls off the street. They get to work somewhere safe. The bars they work at have a partnership with me. If something is going wrong there’s always someone to help them. So I’m the good guy here. You have a list of all the current clients, I can’t tell you anything else.” After Mr. Yeung had finished his speech, Elle gave Derek a look that indicated they should go. She raised from her chair and said, “Thank you for the information Mr. Yeung. We’ll email you if we have any other questions.”

Derek and Elle sat in the car for a moment before Elle had to get her thoughts out. “That man is really self centered and gross. But he really does think that he’s helping the women that work for him.” Derek nodded, “He constantly referred to them as “‘girls’” like they are younger and need protecting. I mean the oldest escort is 40, she’s not really a child anymore.” Derek stated. “I think when we meet some of the escorts we may have a better read on our friend Riley.” Elle said leaning back into the seat of the car.

By the time the team had reconvened at the station the sun had set and it started raining. The pitter-patter of the storm outside could be heard above the debrief the team was going through. Hotch stated the conversation with, “I found a pair of boot imprints at the crime scene.” He tossed the picture of the tracks on the table for the team to see, “From analysing how far apart his gait is, plus the large size of the shoe, we can safely assume that the unsub is male and stands about six feel tall. The scene was very clean, too clean. I’ve requested a meeting with the coroner that performed the paperwork detailing his examination of the bodies.” Next Gideon jumped in, saying, “I also found some unique fibers at the scene.” He produced the bag of evidence. “I’ll leave these here, an analysis team is on it’s way.” Spencer took the chance to interject, “Hopefully the fibers will produce some elements we can trace back to where the unsub tortures his victims. I’ve sent some analysis out to Garcia. I’m hoping to identify a potential victim and coworker of Ms. Grost. I think she can tell me a lot about what happened.” Because J.J. had also spent the day with Spencer she went next, stating, “The media is surprisingly informed, but hasn’t really reported anything yet. There was an obituary for Mr. Pyne, but the press certainly hasn’t made the connection between the two cases yet. Probably because of the link between a sex worker and a teenager. It could look bad in a paper. I’ve contacted Mr. and Ms. Pyne and set up an interview at their house tomorrow. So far I've had no luck finding relatives of Ms. Grost. ” Lastly Elle filled in the team explaining, “Mr. Yeung is making a lot of money from his business. He may be coercing the women who work for him and he sees himself as a savior to them. He’s a misogynist, but from what I saw today he’s, nor anyone in his office would have the motive to murder one of their own employees.” The team took in the information. Spencer was writing down notes when Gideon cleared his throat saying, “This might have been a slow day, but we’ve made good progress before. If the unsub stays consistent then there will be another missing person by tomorrow. We must prevent this if we can. Let’s go get some rest and hit the ground running tomorrow. The team headed out to the cars, getting wet as they ran to the vehicles in the rain.

Across town a figure clutched a necklace. He was mumbling the same phrase over and over, it was drowned out by the sound of the wind. He became silent when a car pulled into the driveway. He waited till the man in the car got out and went into the house. The man dropped the necklace and pulled out a gun from the waistband of his pants. He moved from behind the bushes and moved with confidence toward the house. If the rain wasn’t beating down so hard a neighbor might have heard the single shot from a gun that rang out into the night.

#ciminal minds #spencer reid #dr. spencer reid #j.j.#agent hotchner #derek morgan #elle greenaway #fanfic

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some-cookie-crumbz · 4 years

Note

If it isn't too much to ask for a fic request, "Wanna bet?"/"Please stay here"/"This is the stupidest plan you ever had, of course I'm in" as possible sentence prompts with Kamijirou? Either of them is fine. Sorry if it is a bothersome request, and thank you in advance even for reading this :)

How about I go one step further and do all three??? Because I have no self-control and I had ideas for all three of these!

And please don’t ever think making a request is bothersome to me! I love when people request fics from me! x3

Each fic will have a little bream between them to indicate when I switched prompts, as well.

"Wanna bet?" he growled lowly, slapping a hand down on the table in an uncharacteristic display of aggression. If this wasn't the same guy she'd seen electrocute himself down to the IQ of a potato on multiple occasions, she might have been intimidated.

Key word being 'might'.

As it stood, though, she merely smirked and nudged the small dish of stemmed cherries closer to him. "If you're ready to piss away money, sure thing," she goaded, cocking her head to the side.

"How much we talkin'?" he asked suspiciously.

"If you can actually do the whole bowl, I'll fork up 4,000 yen. If you can't, then you pay up 4,000. Sound fair?" she suggested. He regarded her for a second before nodding and pulling the bowl closer to himself.

It was at that moment, as if sensing something was going on, a familiar face peered around the corner to stare at them. "Kaminari, Jirou, what's up?" he asked, a grin turning up on his lips.

"Not now, Sero. There's a matter of pride on the line!" Kaminari snapped, holding one hand up as he picked a cherry from the bowl and ate it.

Sero's brow furrowed as he looked from her to the other boy. "Kaminari claims he's a phenomenal kisser. I call bull. And so, to prove his merit, he has to tie the stems on all the cherries in that bowl into knots," she explained with a shrug, crossing her arms over her chest.

Sero blinked then burst out laughing. "Oh, what? Hold up, don't start! We gotta get the others involved in this!" he said excitedly while fishing out his phone. Jirou gave him an exasperated look before rolling her eyes and slumping back in her seat.

In a matter of ten minutes, the entirety of class 1-A was clamored in the commons room adjacent the dining area. Uraraka was poised on Midoriya's shoulders, the two sporting matching bookie visors, with her calling out bets and him carrying a large cardboard box for the others to dump their wagers into. Part of Jirou wondered why the brunette wasn't using her own Quirk to just float above the others and take their bets, but she wasn't curious enough to actually bother with asking. Yaomomo was walking with the pair, a clipboard in hand as she took down the wagers from the other students. Everyone was making such a fuss - like usual - but a small part of her couldn't help but be curious to see how it would all go down.

Across from her, Kirishima and Sero were giving a "pep talk" of sorts to Kaminari. The red-headed student was rubbing his shoulders as if he was about to step into a boxing ring or something. "You got this, dude," he whispered softly.

Sero was kneeling close, one hand on the table. "Just remember who you are, bro. You're freakin' Chargebolt! Those cherries can't take you down! No one can take you down!"

Iida cleared his throat loudly as he set a new bowl of cherries as well as a second empty bowl in front of the blonde male. "Has everybody had sufficient time to make their wagers and prepare for the test?" he called out.

"Yup!" Uraraka called back happily, swiping the collection from Midoriya and jingling it in the air proudly.

He nodded. "Very good! Yaoyorozu, what is the final ranking total and common bets?" he asked as the other student president came to his side.

She cleared her throat politely. "The total amount I counted being wagered came out to a total of 32,127 yen, give or take some coin pieces Of the 20 betters, the two polar opposites are, obviously, Kaminari and Jirou themselves; Kaminari set that he can tie all the stems, and Jirou wagering that he cannot. Of the remaining 18 betters, 11 believe that Kaminari will be unable to successfully knot less than 25, and the remaining seven wager he will succeed with only between 25 and 50," she explained.

Kamimari gawked at them for a moment. "Wait, what? None of you think I can actually do this?" he wailed, whipping around to cast a scandalized look at the now sheepish duo that had been encouraging him just seconds before.

Jirou giggles to herself. "Oh, wow, even your boys don't have your back. That's gotta sting," she whistled lowly.

"Whatever. I'm not going to lose, so I guess I'll just be taking home a fat stack of cash tonight," he huffed.

Iida nodded before addressing everyone again. "Excellent! Uraraka, Midoriya, I trust the two of you with counting the funds to assure the amount Yaoyorozu calculated is accounted for before we name the winner!" he instructed, receiving a small salute from the pair. "Now, the rules are simple! Kaminari shall eat a total of fifty cherries and then must tie their remaining stems into a knot. Upon completion of tying, he must hold the stem up for ua to verify that the knot is, in fact, tied. All knots that are properly tied shall be placed in the empty bowl and added to the tally. Whoever bet the closest to the amount he manages to tie, wins the total amount in the box. For Kaminari and Jirou themselves, the winner receives bragging rights for being correct. Are the rules understood?" he asked, looking between the pair curiously. Upon getting a nod from both, he brought his hand down. "Begin!"

Jirou felt smugly satisfied in her success as she watched him toss the first stem into his mouth, expression shifting drastically with his attempts, then she closed her eyes to await his inevitable surrender. There was just no way that Kaminari Denki, of all guys, had any kind of kiss game. This was the wholesome class pervert, the guy known for sparking off too many watts and leaving himself a total space case. There was just no way he could do something like-!

"One stem tied!" Yaomomo suddenly declared, causing her eyes to snap open, gawking in disbelief.

But there, sporting a smug grin and a perfectly tied cherry stem between two fingers, Kaminari sat. He held her gaze as he dropped the first one into the bowl, gleaming gold clashing with darkened violet. "Beginner's luck," she grit out.

"We'll see about that," he quipped back, still grinning, as he plucked up the next one.

It took a full hour of time, but by the time it was over, Jirou was left speechless.

“And the winner is… Kaminari!” Iida said, a bit of his surprise betraying him from the slight question in his tone as the other dropped the last little stem into the bowl.

“Aw, yeah! Our man!” Sero laughed, reaching to clap him on the back.

Instead, the other whipped around and pointed at him accusingly. “Liar! You didn’t think I could get even close to doing all fifty!” he barked.

Sero held his hands up and looked away sheepishly. “Aw, man, come on!”

“No, you come on!”

Jirou shook her head as she pushed up out of her seat. “Okay, okay. I’ll admit that I was wrong. Good job, Kaminari; you earned the money,” she said, walking over to offer him her hand. He blinked in surprise as he turned to face her before slowly taking her hand and shaking her.

Midoriya approached and offered the box, Uraraka still poised on his shoulders. “Here you go, Kaminari-Kun! We made sure all the money was in there and accounted for,” he said happily.

“Well, except for the security deposit fees. I kept that, for convenience sake,” Uraraka said, waving one hand evenly.

The green haired man sighed heavily and glanced up at her, clearly exhausted. “Uraraka-Chan,” he drawled out warningly.

“Deku-Kun, come on! It was just the loose coins! I let him keep all the actual, important paper stuff!” she whined in response. When he only continued to stare up at her like a scolding parent, she grumbled and rummaged into her pockets, leaning over to drop the coins back into the little slit in the box.

Todoroki appeared behind them, clearing his throat. “If we’re done here, can we get back to studying? Midoriya, I still needed you assistance regarding the timeline for the History of Heroics class,” he said evenly. She could see the others already starting to file back out of the room,some heading to the elevators and others heading for the front door.

“Oh, sure thing, Todoroki-Kun! Congrats again, Kaminari-Kun!” he chuckled, waving with one hand before walking off again. As he did, Uraraka remained where she was and Iida joined the other three on their trek back to the elevators. She was never going to understand those four, she thought with another shake of her head, before perking up and looking around. Just as quickly as they’d all crashed the place, they were gone.

“Geez, not even gonna offer to help us clean up?” she mumbled sarcastically, moving to grab the bowls from the table. She paused when a few yen bills were held out towards her, Kaminari watching her with a surprising serious expression. She looked from his face to the money and then back again. “Kaminari?”

“Here, you can keep the money you put in,” he said, waving it a bit. “I’m not gonna give the others there’s back, out of principle now, but… It was always just about proving that I wasn’t lying with you. If the others hadn’t showed up, I wouldn’t have taken the money anyway.”

“So your ego is worth more than 4,000 yen, huh?” she teased, taking the money back regardless. “Well, thank you. And, just so you know, this didn’t really prove anything about kissing. Just that you can tie cherry stems with your mouth.”

He stared at her in disbelief before setting the box aside. “Well, do I have to show you, then?” he prompted.

She jumped, cheeks smudging with pink immediately. “W-What?” she squeaked.

“Show you that I can kiss? Should I do that to prove my point?” he asked, reaching out to cup the side of her face with one hand. She could feel her heart skip at the action and she closed her eyes tight, holding her breath in preparation. She felt a small puff of his breath against the cheek he wasn’t holding, the smell of cherries filling her senses, and then the soft, warm brush of lips…

Against her cheek.

Her eyes snapped open as he pulled back, hand still resting on her cheek. “W-What?” she breathed out shakily.

“I’m not gonna kiss a girl on the lips without her permission. That’s just gross and rude,” he said gently, starting to pull his hand away.

They both froze when his hand was pulled back. They both glanced down to see one of her earlobes had wrapped around his wrist, like a sneaky little serpent. She quickly looked back up at him. “W-Well, how about this, then? You just won a pretty nice chunk of change from the others, so why don’t we… Do something. Just you and I. And I can decide after that if I want to test your supposed skills for myself?” she suggested, forcing her voice to keep from wavering too much, trying to thrust as much of her usual aloof confidence into her words as possible.

His eyes lit up as bright as a shooting star and he grinned, wide and sincere and dazzling, before nodding enthusiastically. “It’s a date!”

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Please stay here,” For a moment he wasn’t sure he actually heard anything, until there was a small tug at the back of his shirt. Her voice was a bit muffled by the decorative pillow her face was partially burrowed into, but when he peered over his shoulder he could see one eye half-lidded and fixed on him, gleaming like a precious stone. In that one visible eye, though, he could see the vulnerability she was laying bear for him. “Denki, please.”

He flushed a little bit at her using his first name, carefully closing his laptop. “Are you sure? It’s kinda risky, you know,” he mumbled worriedly, carefully adjusting his bum leg stretched out in front of him.

It had been a hectic couple of weeks for the students of UA, though that wasn’t really new. What was new was who, exactly, got involved in the whole rigamaroo.

Normally if something happened, there were a few select students that could be pointed to as the main culprits; Midoriya, Todoroki, Bakugo and Kirishima were the five most frequent offenders and the “frequent fuck-up fliers”, according to Aizawa-Sensei. That had been how their experiences started and even now, during their senior year, that hadn’t really changed much. Nine times out of ten, if something was happening that involved villains, breaking school rules, being exceptionally reckless or all of the above, at least one of them - Midoriya - had a hand in it. The big spectacle this time had involved rumblings of a human trafficking ring being set up somewhere downtown. And, as expected, Midoriya led the charge to take the place down, but his normal squad weren’t the other players this round. No, this time around, Kaminari had been adamant about going along to help and gotten repaid handsomely for his insistence to do the right thing.

Specifically in that he’d nearly gotten himself killed while protecting hostages as they escaped.

The damage had been amongst some of the worst he’d ever suffered in his time at UA; four full days unconscious as a side effect of a concussion, black eye, cracked rib and his left ankle got busted. When he’d come to in the hospital, he’d felt terrible from both the injuries and how his family had panicked over him. Once they had parted for the day and his classmates came in, there’d been a bit of teasing about him “pulling a Midoriya” from Sero and Kirishima, but he’d noticed how Jirou had hovered in the back of the room, posture guarded and usual playful demeanor completely gone. When the others left, she had lingered a little bit, sitting in silence but clutching his hand as if she’d drown without it. The whole experience reminded him why he didn’t normally pull stunts like the ones Midoriya did.

He had no idea how the other boy could handle the guilt from worrying others and the pain of the injuries like he did.

But that brought him back to the present, with her clutching the back of his shirt and studying him quietly, seemingly pondering over his question. They’d been dating for a little over a year but they hadn’t told their classmates. Part of it was because they were going lowkey about their relationship so as to avoid complicating things with their work study and school assignments. The other reason was because, for as much as they loved Mina, she was incredibly nosy. They’d watched how she had chased after Yaomomo when word got back that she had gone to coffee non-platonically with Kendou from class 3-B, frantic to get the latest in relationship tea. Or how, when it became public knowledge that Bakugo and Kirishima were a thing, she’d hounded them with so many invasive questions she’d left the explosive blonde as a flustered mess that could barely garble out a threat.

If they got caught together, there was the risk of Aizawa finding out, sure, but the scarier threat was Mina Ashido.

“Let’s risk it then. I want you to stay,” she said after a pregnant, thoughtful pause.

He took in a breath and nodded, moving to stand up carefully. “Okay. Let me just get changed and brush my teeth and stuff, okay? But I promise I’ll be right back, fast as can be,” he said, holding one hand up while tucking the laptop under his other arm.

She let out a small hum, pushing herself upright to presumably do the same while he was gone. He hobbled his way to the elevator, making sure to be careful of how much pressure he put down on his left. It was mostly healed at this point, so the doctor’s had cleared him to return to light duty with the instruction to keep it wrapped so he could walk. He plugged his laptop into the charger, made quick work of changing into his sleep clothes, grabbed his pillows and then went to brush his teeth. He brushed them twice, just to be safe.

When he returned to her room, he gave a little knock instead of just letting himself in. She opened the door and ushered him in quietly. “Do you still need to keep your foot elevated?” she asked, pointing at his pillows.

“Um, no, they’re for me to sleep with. I figured I’d take the floor,” he said, clearly confused.

She blinked before giggling and shaking her hair, running her fingers through her hair. She had started to let it grow out a little bit, so that it just grazed her shoulder blades. While he’s always thought she looked great with the shorter, framed bang style, he had to admit there was also an appeal to the slightly longer style, too. “You’re not… We can just share my bed. I mean, just sleep in the bed together,” she said, walking over to take his pillows and tossing them on the bed.

He tensed slightly. “Are… Are you sure?” he asked, holding his hands up.

She nodded, walking over to wrap her arms around his waist and rested her head against the upper half of his chest. Even though they were older, she hadn’t gotten as much of a height jump as she’d hoped. The top of her head still just barely reached his chin, but he kind of liked it. He gently wrapped his arms around her in turn, tilting his head down to gently kiss the top of her head. “I just… I need to know you’re here,” she breathed quietly, her voice catching slightly. His eyes widened for a moment before he tightened his grip on her a bit more.

“Let’s get some rest then,” he muttered softly. How could he tell her ‘no’, when he wanted that same comfort just as badly?

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“This is the stupidest plan you’ve ever had,” she said with an inhale, lips twisting into a huge grin, “so of course I’m in.”

His grin turned wide as he pulled the walkie-talkie in his hand back up to his mouth. “Exploding Eagle, this is Pika-Dude, over. Sinister Siren is on board. I repeat; Sinister Siren is on board,” he said over the line, his voice dead serious despite the smirk on his lips.

“You had a code name picked out for me already?” she asked with a quirked brow and small grin.

He pressed a hand to his chest and nodded. “But of course! I had a hunch you’d want in on this, once you found out about it,” he mused.

There was static on the walkie for a moment, before an familiar shout of “Just tell me what the fuck you’re going on about normally, you extra fuck!”

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. God, Bakugo just had to zap all of the fun out of everything, didn’t he? “Jirou’s on board. I’ll bring her with me to the meet-up spot; be there in ten,”

“Don’t tell me what the fuck to do!”

“See you guys in a bit!” Kirishima’s voice chimed in next, as chipper and giddy as ever.

UA was going to be hosting a huge event for the Hero Commision, and had decided to offer live entertainment. In hopes of buttering the commision up after the many scandals they’d been involved in over the last year - as well as to save on money for a real, professional band - they had decided to allow the students to try out for the role of entertainment for the night. By all technicality, the band Jirou had put together with herself, Kaminari, Tokoyami and Yaomomo should have been the ones to take the crown, but then Monoma from 1-B had to go and mess things up.

They hadn’t caught him in the act, but they had gleaned from his goading later that he’d rigged the results so that a band of 1-B students got selected instead. And, not to be outdone through dishonest means, he and Bakugo had started plotting. Kirishima was eager to jump in to help, but they had yet to approach Yaomomo and Tokoyami. They had the distinct feeling that the duo wouldn’t be keen on playing to get even.

He had known, however, that Jirou would see the practicality in some practical jokes. If the class 1-B students wanted to play dirty, then so would they.

As they slipped out the front door, she looked at him curiously. “Aren’t you worried about what Aizawa-Sensei will say if we get caught?” she pointed out.

“If I worried about what Aizawa-Sensei would do if he found out about half of the things I’ve done, I wouldn’t live,” he laughed. A small part of him was still impressed that their teacher hadn’t found out about the Beast Man incident, but he also wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. “And don’t worry; if he finds out, I’ll take the heat for it. I’ll make sure you live, so you can fight another day.”

She snorted and gently bopped his hip with hers as they walked. “Such a noble sacrifice from a valiant hero,” she teased.

“I try,” he grinned, rubbing the back of his neck meekly.

#crumbles grumbles #KamiJirou #my fics #Kaminari would be an extremely good boi who is mindful of boundaries #He is a perv but he is respectful about it #I also accidentally wrote him as kinda smooth??#Whoops

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