#and then i remember that oh yeah right i used to do theatre in high school… where the main way details are explained is through ✨dialogue✨
Text
the sea around us; chapter thirteen
In which Rafe Cameron has to choose between his dad and a pogue who's changing his outlook on life more and more every day.
(rafe cameron x f!oc)
(eventual!jj maybank x f!oc)
warnings/tags: violence, drug/alcohol use, smoking, sexual content (if you squint), slowburn, older brother’s best friend, (these tags are obv not exhaustive but regardless it’s pretty PG13)
wc: 1.6k
my masterlist
series masterlist
requests
*:･ﾟ✧*:･
~Rafe's POV~
"Rafe, bro, I am so god damn serious right now if that wasn't my sister I would've thrown one your way, man." Kegs says to me, lighting up a j as we stand in the parking lot of the theatre, leaning against my bike and watching the screen burn and smoke and ash fly into the sky.
"Yeah, I get that." I respond, holding my hand out for him to pass it to me.
"What's up with her now, anyways?" He asks, taking a hit before passing the joint over. I take a drag as well before answering.
"She's staying at John B's." I answer, blowing the smoke out of my lungs.
"I figured that much." Kegs chuckles. "I meant more what's happening between you guys."
"Oh, yeah, uh.." I take another hit and hand it back. "Not fully sure, man, to be honest." I lie, avoiding eye contact as I hand him his weed back. It's not completely a lie. I mean, I know in my gut that I want to be with her. She's all I've been able to think about for a while now, even before I offered her a ride home on the night of the storm, but Snowy had never looked twice at me before then, I just don't know what she wants. Or how she feels. I just know that it took everything in me to leave her standing behind the burning screen as she cried over what we did to her friends. Fuck- it makes me sick remembering how she watched me walk away, the way her long, red hair hung down in front of her, and her cute little shorts. I need to stop. I just need this high to kick in so I don't think about it anymore.
"Really? 'Cause that's not what that video of you guys making out at Kelce's made it seem like." Fuck.. Someone filmed that? I sigh, running my hand through my hair. "I don't think I need to mention what I'll do to you if you hurt her."
"Yeah, man, of course. I wouldn't do that." I mumble.
"Dude, I'm serious. You haven't had a serious girlfriend the whole time I've known you." Kegs laughs and I shrug.
"I've just never had a nice girl." I chuckle.
"Snowy is nice." Kegs says, nudging me. "Listen, I'm not trying to scare you. You know that. I just don't want her to be another chick you hit and quit. She deserves better." I know that. She deserves better than me at my best, honestly.
"I agree." I tell him. "I don't know what she's doing hanging out with those pogues anyways." I say, in attempt to change the subject.
"Yeah, I mean, she thinks they make her happy." He shrugs. "She doesn't get that in the long run, like, she won't want to live on the cut forever. She'll marry that JJ kid and stay at her three jobs until the day she dies, funding his drug addiction." I feel my teeth grinding just at the thought of that. She deserves everything. I want to give her everything. I'm being crazy- I hardly know her, yet.
"Listen, I better dip. I'll see you tomorrow?" I ask, grabbing my helmet and straddling my bike.
"Yeah, of course man." Kegs nods, handing me the j for one last hit before I leave. I take it, then pull my helmet down and start my bike. Snowy wouldn't want me to drive high. I find myself pushing those kind of thoughts out of my head more and more.
*:･ﾟ✧*:･
I get home, and my dad has this great idea, more like demand, that I invite Snowy to Midsummers this weekend as my date, obviously to keep up appearances. I love that idea, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it, but I didn't want to put her out of her way, and I couldn't imagine she would want to come. Especially after she just hardly forgave me for what we didI don't have much of a choice now anyways.
I'm on my way home from the gym, and I see her old, beat up car parked outside the coffee shop she works at. Now is a better time than ever, I suppose. I park outside and sit on my bike for a minute after I take off my helmet, looking inside through the window. I don't see her, but I don't see anyone else either. It's perfect.
I take a deep breath before I get off, putting my helmet on the back and approaching the door. My hands already feel sweaty. Gross. I wipe them on my shorts and then look at my reflection in the glass, quickly making sure my hair looks okay before I open the door and walk in.
"Good morning, what can I get for you?" Snowy asks as she walks out from the back, customer service voice in full swing. She has her hair up in a ponytail that looks like it could fall out at any minute, and wearing these leggings that hug her curves perfectly. She is so pretty. She wipes her hands on her apron, since they're dripping wet. She was probably doing dishes- I feel guilty for interrupting.
"Iced Caramel Macchiato please." I say, trying to mimic her from when she ordered those for us the other day. She looks up, her face relaxing into a more genuine smile. It is so contagious.
"Oh, hey." She says, reaching down and clicking a few buttons on the register. "Just get back from the gym?"
I laugh slightly, gesturing down to my clothes. "How could you tell?"
"Just a guess." She shrugs, walking over to the espresso machine.
"So, uh, I needed to talk to you about something." I say, and she hums back in hesitant acknowledgment as I rub the back of my neck. I'm sweating like crazy- it's hot in here for it being before 8 am. "There's this thing this weekend, kind of a big deal apparently, and I was wondering if you would be okay with going with me?" I internally cringe at the way I said that. God- that probably made no sense.
"Midsummers?" She asks, pausing making the drink to look up at me. I'm getting butterflies in my stomach, just looking at her brown eyes.
"Yeah, that. My dad is getting some sort of award or something." I explain. "So? What do you think?"
"Uhm.." She pauses, clearly thinking. Great. I screwed this up with her already. Of course, I saw this coming- she should still be mad at me. "I would love to, I really would, but I don't think I'd be welcome there. Besides, I don't own anything even remotely appropriate to wear." She replies, with a nervous-sounding laugh.
"If you're my date, you'll be welcomed. Besides, my dad wants you there." I tell her, smiling despite how anxious I'm feeling.
"Ward? He specifically requested that I come?" Snowy raises her eyebrow at me, getting back to working.
"As a matter of fact he did- I can tell you don't believe me, but he loves Kegs, and he wanted me to bring someone to keep up appearances, since he's the guest of honour or whatever." I say, immediately hearing how bad that sounded. "Not like- fuck, that sounded bad. Not like I don't want you there." I laugh nervously. "I do want you there, and so does my dad. There. That's what I meant to say." This is humiliating. I'm waiting for her to laugh in my face- even though I know she would never do that. She's too kind.
"Okay.." She nods, placing my drink up on the counter in front of me. "I still don't have anything I could wear. I just don't want to embarrass you. I'm sorry. Maybe ask one of Sarah's friends? I'm sure they would be all over you." She jokes.
"That's the easiest problem to solve." I dismiss her comment. "I've got it. Here.." I say, pulling out my wallet and digging around for the bills I'm looking for.
"Oh my god, Rafe, no. I seriously can't let you give me any money. I can borrow something from Kie, maybe. I'll sort it out. I'd love to go." Snowy says quickly, shaking her head at me. She is so cute.
"Okay fine, then this for my drink." I say, placing eight hundred's on the counter. She just looks at me, as if to say 'come on, seriously?' and that makes me laugh.
"Your drink is free." She replies, crossing her arms. "On me."
"Oh, thank you. How sweet. Then that's a tip." I grin, pointing at the cash and she rolls her eyes.
"I'll pay you back, Rafe." She sighs, picking up the money and folding it before putting it in her pocket. "Thank you." Snowy says honestly, looking back up at me.
"Don't worry about it. I really want you to come." I say as I pick up my drink. "Can I pick you up from John B's at 3 and you can get ready with Sarah? That's a thing girls do, right?" I laugh, totally unsure. I've just seen that in movies.
"Yeah, totally." Snowy laughs, leaning her elbows on the counter. "I'm looking forward to it."
"Me too." I smile, taking a sip of my drink. "This is good, I need to come while you're working more often, Juliette." I tease her, reaching down and flick her name tag.
"Oh my god, ew. If you keep calling me that I'll get you banned!" Snowy laughs, swatting my hand away.
"I gotta run, but I'll talk to you later?" I suggest and she nods.
"Of course. Thanks again, Rafe." She says as I wave and start to head for the door.
"Oh, and one condition on me paying for your dress," I say, turning as I walk back toward the door. "Send me pictures of everything you try on." I wink, seeing her roll her eyes.
"Bye, Rafe." She giggles, waving me off. I don't know when I stopped feeling nervous, but I leave feeling much better than I did when I walked in.
*:･ﾟ✧*:･
A/N;
Bet y'all didn't see his POV coming lol
I hope you liked it though! I tried my best but as always feedback is appreciated :)
-R
taglist: @boo22sstuff @madelynie (you mentioned you liked this series so i added you but lmk if you want to be removed!!)
#rafe cameron#obx#obx fanfic#outer banks#rafe obx#jj maybank#rafe cameron x oc#rafe fanfiction#rafe fic#jj maybank x oc#rafe x reader#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron x reader#rafe imagine#rafe outer banks#rafe x you#rafe x y/n#outerbanks#rafe cameron fic#jj maybank x pogue!reader#jj obx#jj maybank fanfiction
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
A3! Troupe Event Translation - Journey to the Colours (6/11)
*Please read disclaimer on blog
---
Kumon: “Oof!”
“Hot, hot, hot! My tail’s gonna burn!”
Should I hold back a little more during that part…
Phew…
(I’ll take a short break… it’s not 7am yet?)
(I practiced early every morning by myself like this back during my baseball club days~.)
(Crap, I thought about baseball again.)
*notification sound*
Yamaguchi: “Don’t oversleep for today’s game.
I’m gonna thoroughly check the stands to make sure you came.”
Kumon: …
Muku: Kyu-chan?
Kumon: Ah, good morning. You’re early, Muku!
Muku: Were you practising on your own?
Kumon: Yep. I don’t wanna cause trouble for everyone in the action scenes, after all!
Muku: Please don’t push yourself too hard, Kyu-chan.
Kumon: Don’t worry, don’t worry!
I have plans after this, so I was actually about to wrap up.
Muku: Are you going out somewhere?
Kumon: …Yeah.
Today Tsuku High’s baseball club is holding their intra-squad game.
It’s the third year’s last game, y’know.
The game I was gonna go to was postponed ‘cause of the rain, so in the end, I haven’t been able to watch any of the baseball team’s matches since I quit.
That’s why I gotta make sure I catch this one…
Muku: …
Kumon: Muku?
Muku: May I perhaps go to the game with you?
-pause-
Muku: Wow… there’s so many people here.
Kumon: Outsiders also came to watch this game. I guess they’re parents or alumni.
Muku: …Oh, I’m sorry, Kyu-chan.
Kumon: ?
Muku: I forced you to bring me along.
Kumon: Not at all! I feel more at ease with you here than by myself!
Muku: Really… I’m glad then.
Ah, it looks like it’s about to start.
Kumon: …
-pause-
Baseball team member A: Run, run!
Muku: All of them look like they’re having a blast.
It’s an intra-squad game, so maybe that’s why they don’t look nervous.
Kumon: …
(If I was still playing baseball, then I wonder if I would’ve been in this game too…)
(If only I tried harder back then, then just maybe…)
Muku: Kyu-chan, are you okay?
Kumon: Huh? U-um… yeah, everyone looks alive out there!
Muku: …
It feels a little complicated watching your old teammates enjoying their club activities, doesn’t it?
Kumon: Huh?
Muku: You think to yourself, what if I was there too…
I’ve felt that way when I see people from the track and field club.
Kumon: You’ve also thought that before?
Muku: Yes. That’s why I decided to return to the track one more time during our Phantom Thief play where Ju-chan was my co-lead.
Thanks to Ju-chan and everyone's support, I was able to finish what I had left unfinished and put my past behind me.
But, at the end of the day, the reason I wanted give the track one more shot was because I’m now a member of a theatre company.
I realized once again how important standing on stage with all of you is for me now.
Kumon: (It’s because he joined the theatre company…)
(I wonder if I’m remembering the past because I've overcome my debut performance with everyone in Summer troupe and now gained more confidence.)
(If that’s the case, then I feel even more sorry to everyone for feeling lingering regrets about baseball…)
(I am who I am today because of all of them…)
-pause-
Baseball team member A: THANK YOU!!
Third year A: We leave the rest to you!
Third year B: Go to nationals!
Muku: The third years put up a good fight!
Kumon: Yeah, they did…
Yamaguchi: …
Muku: Ah. It looks like Yamaguchi-kun noticed us over here.
Look, he’s holding up his fist towards you.
Kumon: —.
*flashback starts*
Yamaguchi: That wasn’t your fault, y’know?
Geez, don’t sweat it.
—Here.
Kumon: What’s that…?
Yamaguchi: A fist bump.
It’ll reset your mind.
Kumon: …Ahaha, what the heck.
Does that actually work?
Yamaguchi: If it works as a trigger, then anything will do.
*flashback ends*
Kumon: —.
Muku: Kyu-chan…?
Kumon: …Sorry, Muku.
I’m gonna go say hi to the baseball coach. You go home first!
*runs off*
Muku: Huh—.
-pause-
Kumon: *Pant, pant*…
(That’s right. Yamaguchi did that in the past…)
*notification sound*
Yamaguchi: “Did you head home already?”
Kumon: Yamaguchi…
(Sorry. I don’t know how to reply right now…
I’m gonna turn off my notifications…)
-pause-
Kazunari: …
(Private art school, huh…)
*flashback starts*
Teacher: A third year from Fuko High… most students start from their first year. There aren’t many who start from their senior year.
Well, it’s fine if you’re prepared to take a gap year… however, what about your parents?
Kazunari: They never thought I would go into art. But they think it’s best for me to go what I want to do, so I have their support.
Teacher: I see. Understood.
We will do all we can to support you until you get accepted into an arts university.
-pause-
Friend A: Hey there, Kazunari. Let’s go to karaoke.
Kazunari: I gotta go my private art school now~.
Friend A: What’s that? Is that different from a normal cram school?
Friend B: No idea. But I’m sure Kazunari’ll get accepted anywhere.
Come on, just skip it~.
Kazunari: You think~?
Friend A: You haven’t been going out these days, dude.
You’re gonna lose your friends, y’know~? Ahaha.
-pause-
Teacher: We said we would support you, but entrance exams aren’t going to be easy for an unmotivated student.
It will be difficult for you to pass if you continue like this.
Kazunari: —.
*flashback ends*
Kazunari: …
Tenma: …I thought someone was here already. It’s you, huh?
What’s with that paintbrush?
Kazunari: Ah, nope, it’s nothing!
I see you brought your laptop. Are you gonna write your report here?
Tenma: Yeah. Yuki’s making the final adjustments to our costumes, so I can’t concentrate in our room.
Kazunari: Did you get kicked out?
Tenma: No!
Kazunari: …Tenten, you look like a regular university student with your laptop open like that.
Tenma: Well, yeah.
I am a regular university student, after all.
Kazunari: …Tenten. You’re an actor, part of a theatre company, and going to school on top of that. That’s impressive.
Tenma: …Well, that’s what I wanted for myself.
However, there are times I can’t attend my lectures because I’m busy with work, so I ask my professors and instructors to give me assignments and I ask them for extra help.
I've never been great at studying, to be honest. But I like how university is different from what I’ve experienced before and that I can pursue my own areas of interest.
It’s interesting that the atmosphere is different from junior high and high school, and it's good experience for acting too.
Sometimes it’s hard to juggle everything at once, but I'm glad I pursued university.
Kazunari: You’re amazing, Tenten~.
Tenma: You’re the same, aren’t you?
You work on school assignments during our rehearsal and show periods, and you even started taking up jobs recently.
You’re doing enough already.
Kazunari: …
Tenma: Kazunari?
Kazunari: It’s nothing. The stuff you say really does sound cool, Tenten!
Even though you got kicked out of your room.
Tenma: You didn’t have to say that last part.
Muku: Tenma-kun, Kazu-kun!
Kazunari: Mukkun?
Tenma: What’s wrong?
Muku: Please listen…
---
previous | next
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
WIP Wednesday
Thank you for the tags, @martsonmars, @artsyunderstudy, @cutestkilla, @bookish-bogwitch, @sailorblossoms, and @hushed-chorus!!!
Once more, I bring shitpost energy to WIP Wednesday! I’ve been having Way Too Much Fun playing with Canva lately, so I mocked up some clothes from my ongoing WIP, Jelly Babies. Behold the shirt that Gregory stole from Simon:
Hello tags, more clothes, stories about clothes, and a bonus pic of The Artist as a Victorian Baby (XD) under the cut!
And here is Sophie's sweatshirt, a Christmas present from Tyr:
I’m honestly furious that Canva doesn’t give me the option to make this entire sweatshirt tie-dye. COWARDS. The text is based on Lizzo’s Tiny Desk.
Here is the shirt that Tyr is wearing at dinner:
This is a real shirt, and a shout out to my spouse's friend Tim, who will never read this or my fic. Hi Tim!!!! The first time I met Tim, he went on a long, intense monologue about Desert Bus (which New York Times called The Very Worst Video Game Ever Created) and the very cool charity event Desert Bus for Hope. Tim actually did design some art for DBfH, which is insanely awesome.
He's a very nice dude and the most wonderful DM; he did a one-off Christmas campaign for us a few years ago where he let me be Genji, a fuckboi YT influencer geisha/bard whose winter outfit was a red knitted thong, a cropped jacket, and no shirt (my nips were always tastefully covered).
I will always remember how, on the afternoon of his wedding, Tim said, "I feel like I'm DM'ing right now. I've set the context, gathered the players, and I'm just here to see this unfold."
Sadly, I don’t have a graphic yet of the God’s Gym shirt:
Gregory borrowed some of Simon’s clothes to sleep in, so he’s in old basketball shorts and a very soft, faded t-shirt that says “GOD’S GYM” and has a picture of Jacob wrestling with an angel. It’s extremely gay.
This is A REAL SHIRT, owned by a professor of one of my high school English teachers. I’ve never seen the shirt with my own human eyes; it exists in the sacred homoerotic theatre of my mind. At some point, I think I need to actually draw it / design it so I can wear it on my bod.
And lastly, as a bonus, here is a (very blurry, low-res picture of a) picture of The Artist as a Victorian Baby that inspired the photo of Baby!Swithin.
“He just,” Gregory chokes, “he somehow looks SO BORED and yet SO SERIOUS?? He’s just a baby and yet his eyes look a HUNDRED YEARS OLD?? Why does this photo look like it was taken in the Victorian era? How is he so adorable?”
I wish I could share the entire photo, because part of what makes it hilarious is that the rest of my family looks perfectly normal and happy and very 90s. And then. There’s me. The Grim Spectre. But like, a baby.
TRUE STORY: My best friend did lose her tiny mind over this photo, and she did save it as her lock screen. Every once in a while, she’d catch people doing a double take at her phone. She’s white, and I’m sure people assumed she had adopted an Asian baby. Whenever anyone asked, she would just say, nonchalantly, “Oh yeah, that’s my best friend,” and refuse to explain any further.
As always, pressure-free hello tags! @captain-aralias, @excalisbury, @facewithoutheart, @fatalfangirl, @ionlydrinkhotwater, @johnwgrey, @larkral, @moodandmist, @nightimedreamersworld, @raenestee, @thewholelemon, @whogaveyoupermission, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
Chris rewatches and liveblogs the awful The Last Airbender movie for the first time since it was released 13 years ago
ok I saw this once when it was in theatres when I was in high school and I never watched it again. I remember being disappointed and uncomfortable originally
I only remember Aang was pronounced differently and Katara was some blonde chick I remember literally nothing else so here we go
oh damn ok right away the bending animation is kind of giving but the weird cursive stylization of the element names in the intro… not a fan bc my bad Chinese reading self can’t read it and I wonder if that’s even like a real style lol I wouldn’t be surprised either way
Also like just KEEP the TV intro instead of plagiarising but a little to the left?? sorry I know I’m nitpicking
Why are Katara and Sokka like MAGA-white that’s SO uncomfy
Sokka is not giving me the correct vibes
Why would Katara go with Sokka to go hunting?? p sure that happened in the cartoon too but ???
Already changing my mind about the costumes and possibly the Sokka vibes
Okay Aangs tattoos fuck actually
Okay yeah the tone of this whole thing is so boring I can’t put my finger on it yet like something is DEFINITELY missing
Okay yeah the costumes suck
ZUKO??? why is his hair so boring why is his scar so tiny
Gran Gran is white too?? but all the other villagers aren’t lololol okayyyyy
First impression of the sets (like the SWT village were good) but actually they suck they make ZERO sense there are just like open windows and no door?? But it’s cold outside???
OH NO what did this film do to Appa I’m so sorry sweetie look how they’ve massacred my boy
IS THAT UNCLE IROH IM AHSJDKLFNFGSJSKD
EEROH again I guess that’s more accurate but WHY
The vibes in this movie are all off lolol how did Nickelodeon endorse this?????
Still not sure why this feels so flat like I really don’t care about anything happening?? Maybe bc the original show is so character driven and this movie hasn’t even let us get to know any of the characters?? I remember thinking the first time I watched this that it moves way too fast so I guess this all could come down to a pacing problem
Gran Gran’s explanation to like send them after Aang makes no sense at all actually
I know they were trying to be like accurate with the costumes (a laugh tbh) but I do think it was a mistake to get rid of the color associations
MOMO OH NO I’m so sorry sweetie
Again with the air temple set, the vibes are right but it doesn’t look quite like anything I ever saw in SEA or in research...
The sequence where he finds out the airbenders are gone is pretty good. Seems they could do more with that than in the show but okay now he’s having some weird vision with a dragon????
Wait Soe-ka? Knock it off w the names I s2g where is the franchise continuity
Are the gonna explain the weird ass dragon vision??
The FN ships are so bad
Zhao is not creepy enough. Asshole enough though.
I KNOW I’m nitpicking but even the food seems wack
Weird that the firebenders seem to be only able to manipulate fire here, not create it
I do wonder about the authenticity of the costumes. I’ve heard they suck but I’d be fooled which begs the question, why not just BE authentic to the cultures they’re supposed to represent
Is it the acting that’s flat here, the writing, or the directing? Whose fault is it??
Interesting choice to have the earthbenders imprisoned within reach of their own element. I kind of like that, showing how defeated their spirits really are
Of course they gave away Katara’s motivational speech
These bending motions CANNOT be based on real martial arts lmfao it seems so clunky
Wild how I just don’t care about any of these characters lol
The writing isn’t ALL bad like I actually like the way different plot elements were connected for the sake of the movie but the execution is just so bad
Princess Yue leads the NWT? Again… a Choice
Wild how they are leaving the best episodes out of this narrative. Like the ones that gave the characters life
LOVE that there’s an African-inspired Earth Kingdom village, I’ve been thinking about this concept a lot actually
Why does the Fire nation look like that?? Why does Ozai look like that??? Why are we introducing Ozai already I don’t like that choice either???
I HATE the Fire Nation aesthetic SO MUCH
Ozai is not evil enough AT ALL
I DO like the creative directions they took w diversity in the Earth Kingdom like in different towns
AGNI KEE I’m
Aww lil Azula is cute
What a weird ass way to fit in Zuko’s backstory. Again, I don’t find myself caring about it at all
Starting to really hate the bending actually. The elements don’t seem to be interacting w the movements of the bender at all
The statue room looks cool
The dragon again wtfff
The Blue Spirit. Cool but it doesn’t hit as hard bc we don’t CARE about Zuko or his past and tbh it probs won’t make any sense to a casual viewer anyway
Also why does his mask need to come with a wig I mean it looks so unserious
Iroh just creeps me out idek why
OH we’re blowing up Zuko’s ship NOW okayyy
Aww some Sokka/Yue vibes but it’s a real shame I don’t give a shit about this version of Sokka
I think one reason I don’t like this version of bending is it takes so much handwavinv before anything even starts happening
Not digging this NWT aesthetic either tbh
Pakku??? Why does he look like cheap knock off Theodin? Why is he like… nice???
Why is Aang trying to talk to this Dragon Spirit and not like… Roku?
Wild how the one thing they left the same from the actual show was how Zuko snuck into the NWT lol
Hate the spirit oasis, actually
Least helpful Dragon Spirit ever
Cool that iroh is the one who can make fire out of nothing (he obviously taught Zuko) but lolol what a random time to do that
Okay the scene between Yue and Sokka before she turned into the moon was nice. Probably the most emotion we’ve seen in the whole movie
More morbid that her body is still there though lol
And no Ocean Spirit to fuck things up??
Drowning someone w waterbending is very dark but actually a great touch
I like this idea of Aang mourning his people and using that to harness his waterbending and then he can beat the FN on his own without a spirit’s help. That’s nice.
Also the music for that scene was nice. The only good soundtrack all movie too
So he’s just scaring them with water?? Lmaoooooo not even like killing anyone they just all ran away?? that’s actually…. A fucking terrible plot point never mind
Sweet he gets another chance to like. Accept his role as avatar and bow back to everyone?
AZULA
Okay yeah that was AWFUL
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Not every day an actor you admire gets you to watch one of their movies...
Long post, you've been duly warned.
So if you've seen my more recent blogs, I've been obsessing (a bit, healthily, I assure you) over a certain adventure game series. And from there, I'm doing like I usually do when I want to know more about an actor I REALLY like. Finding other stuff they've done, checking out what social media they use here and there, non-profits they support and promote and what have you...
Enter Alexandra Boyd. Actor, writer, director...inspiration.
Podcasts? Check. Her own personal site? Check. Clips from past British shows she had minor AND major roles in? Check.
Finding out her latest film is a documentary about some of the "core extras," including herself, that were in 1997's 'Titanic?' And the trailer for it looks REALLY good?...didn't see that coming.
Truth: until, like, literally now, I NEVER SAW TITANIC.
I was probably the ONLY teenager in AMERICA that had no desire to go watch it, or had a crush on Leo DiCaprio for that matter.
But...granted, I remembered that other actors I've come to REALLY like over time since I was in high school, they were in the movie: Victor Garber, Bernard Hill, Ioan Gruffud, David Warner...you get the idea. I think I prefer Kate Winslet's performance in "Sense and Sensibility" to her Rose but, eh, I'm a little biased.
And, well there's good reasons why 'Titanic' got so many Academy Awards that year...but I'll be real: I was pretty damn excited when "Return of the King" got all of ITS Oscars for 2003.
Anyway.
Few days ago, I took a chance, hoping I didn't come off as too-much-of-an-awkward fangirl, and shot Alexandra a shoutout on Messenger, saying how amazing it was that she came back for her role as Elaine in Return to Monkey Island. And, kind of offhandedly, mentioned how cool the "Ship of Dreams" (her documentary that's releasing soon) looked, and...how I never saw Titanic but now was kind of inspired to after how many years.
She kindly responded to my message (yay!) and highly recommended to watch "Titanic" at the very least to obtain more of and appreciation for 'Ship of Dreams' when it comes out (I've no idea if it'll be in theaters where I live, but then again, I'm going to ask an acquaintance of mine, who just happens to be the director of a local historical theatre with a small modern cinema next to it, if they could possibly get hold of it. Small city living yo.)
Overall...I liked it. I definitely need to watch it again. Full on experience should be more than my library's letterboxed basic edition on my laptop.
Some scenes and lines...I was all "Oh yeah, right. Uh-huh." Dramatic license sort of getting in the way. Strongest dialogue...maybe not so much? Little cornball in places? Mm, well, putting on the romantic plot in an ultimate disaster movie...kind of lends itself to that sort of thing.
But didn't I LOVE to hate (well, strongly dislike) Billy Zane and David Warner's characters. Which of course is the idea. And I was internally cheering on Kate and Leo pretty much the whole way through. Kathy Bates was probably the best of all the first class passengers that got focused on.
Held my breath and tensed up and...closed my eyes for many of the stunt/action shots once the ship hit the iceberg. That music score realllly helped with that. Once it got to that certain high angle and you got more of the screaming...yeah, that broke me. Knew it was coming but still...hit me right in the feels. And didn't Victor look SO SAD when he realized the truth that his ship's design turned out to be SO flawed. Oh he plays that so well.
BUT I didn't get teary until good old (then unknown) Ioan "My Man Hornblower" Gruffud turned his lifeboat around and desperately called out if anyone in the water was still alive.
Yeah, I liked it. More than I thought I would. Surprised me quite a bit, which is usually a good thing. Need to find me more behind-the-scenes stuff. I'm intrigued, and that's always a good sign that I enjoyed a film.
So TL, DR: Alexandra Boyd basically got me to watch 'Titanic.' How cool is that? Thanks, Alexandra, and cheers!
#amateur time lord turns film critic#titanic 1997#only took me forever#alexandra boyd#she's the coolest
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tag Game To Better Know You
Thank you for the tag @lady--lisa!!
Tagging @owl-mug @teagrammy @william-jennings-bryan and anyone else who wants to do it.
What book are you currently reading?
I haven’t done a lot of reading for enjoyment recently nor have I really thought about picking up a book soon. Maybe once finals are over I'll get something.
What’s your favourite movie you saw in theatres this year?
I didn't see a whole lot of movies in the theaters this year, and the ones I did I didn't really like, but I liked the Baz Luhrmann Elvis movie the most out of them.
What do you usually wear?
I dress really casually. Right now, it's usually sweats, or a sweater or a cardigan and t-shirt, and jeans. I like fun multicolored socks and shoes. High school me used to dress like Vriska when we got no-uniform days though and I'm glad I graduated out of that.
How tall are you?
On the tall end of average height.
What’s your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?
Scorpio. I share a birthday with Bob Ross and the Great Depression.
Do you go by your name or a nick-name?
IRL I go by my full first name, but online I use a nickname.
Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?
No. I think she'd like the path I chose though, even if she would be a little disappointed in the fact that I don't really do the thing she found passion in anymore. I'm still in university though, I have time to make it up to her.
Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one?
No, and honestly I kinda prefer being single.
What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at?
I have a fairly decent memory and am good at remembering deadlines and stupid trivia. Even things I thought I forgot (usually I just end up making some association and going oh yeah that's just like blah blah blah.)
I cannot wrap a present for the life of me. I can never manage to get the paper to fold right or the tape to look neat. Slap it in a bag, put some nice tissue paper in there, and call it a day.
Dogs or cats?
I like them both but I prefer dogs cuz that's what I grew up with.
If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favourite picture/favourite line/favourite etc. from something you created this year?
Ughhhh I haven't finished anything in a while but i'm kinda proud of this line. I'm malding though cuz I have to scrap it cuz the scene flows better from the other character's pov.
"However, Andrew has always been inclined towards sin, so despite everything, it is natural that he gravitates towards a being as sinful as Antonio. Perhaps they’re cut from the same sinful cloth, both demons seeking a soothing hand, an honest tongue, and a kind heart. If his damnation comprises of an eternity playing games, drinking, and spending time with Antonio in this manor, then Andrew doesn’t think he minds at all.
"How cruel it is, that God allows him to meet someone who understands him so fully and uniquely, and still deny him the privilege of making him his soulmate."
What’s something you would like to create content for?
Identity V fandom doesn't have nearly enough femslash fic. The sapphics are starving.
What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?
Ride the Cyclone. Fantastic musical, fantastic characters, Jane Doe is my sweet daughter and deserves the world. Also recently taken an interest in Ada Lovelace, 19th-20th century classical music, and Ace Attorney.
What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?
This last semester of university. It's just been so incredibly draining. I'll be going abroad next semester though so should be some more excitement.
What’s a hidden talent of yours?
I can do pretty good accents (if I listen to someone with that accent for long enough.) When I was younger I used to be able to do a good Russian accent cuz I watched so much hetalia and now I can do a decent Clone High JFK voice.
Are you religious?
No but I consider myself spiritual.
What’s something you wish to have at this moment?
A spa day. Especially a pedicure.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've noticed an influx of followers coming from my "Flerkitten Alpine" and "Sam and Carol are Besties Now" posts so I just wanted to introduce myself!
I'm Kestrel or Kes, Im BiAce and use they/them pronouns, and I just turned 25 earlier this month. This is a side blog, and my follows will come from @/the-kestrels-feather.
I'm a Bucky Stan so this blog is gonna be mostly Bucky Brainrot Content (sorry in advance) and my other favorite characters include Captain America (both of them), Thor, Valkyrie, Sylvie (fight me), Loki, and Kate Bishop.
I pretend Endgame doesn't exist for my own mental health (Endgame Steve is not canon it will never be canon and no one can tell me otherwise).
My top 3 MCU D+ shows are WandaVision, Hawkeye, and FATWS/Loki but Only S2 in that order
CATWS will always be the best Marvel movie I will not take criticism, but after that are Black Panther/GOTG 3, and Thor:Ragnarok/The Marvels (I know that's more than 3 but consider i love them)
This is a Marvel blog 99.99% but I occasionally rb Invincible, The Boys, and the very very occasional DC post to this blog. I try to keep them under the tag #not marvel but as long time followers will tell you I'm not the best at remembering to tag so expect 1 or 2 slipping through if you block the tag
As much as I love the MCU I also really fucking hate the MCU and I feel this is the only way to enjoy it, this comes from a friend who has the same view on SW
I routinely make jokes about hunting Kevin Feige for sport or fighting him in a Denny's parking lot so if you're looking for a Kevin Worshipper this ain't the blog for you.
Pretty much all my Marvel knowledge is MCU based, I know a bit about the comics and even have some but I haven't started reading in earnest yet because tbh the sheer volume of them intimidates me. That said I rb a lot of comic panels
I read Bucky x Reader content and reblog it here I do not care what you think about it if you don't want to see it I recommend not following me 🤷🤷
Oh, I'm also a props artisan by trade, I work at a high school in their book room right now, but it's my dream to move to Atlanta and work in theatre and film. My big dream is to work as a props artisan for Marvel! Occasionally I make Marvel-related things and post them here!
This is my favorite thing I've made, it started as a $5 sketchbook that I painted myself!
I think that's everything you need to know about me, but yeah welcome! Happy to have so many new people here! 👋👋
#bucky barnes#“wow i have a banger post” -me about a post with 300 notes#in my defense that's the most ive ever gotten on this blog#marvel
0 notes
Text
Alina Kotova
A grave silence captured the room. Lorelai snuffed her flame.
“And that,” Gavin spoke, “That was a true story?”
“Well…it might have just been a nightmare actually,” she replied. “Since I don’t really remember it well enough to distinguish it. I just remember the…feeling.” Pursing her lips, she brought gentle hands to her throat.
“Do dreams…count?”
They all gazed upon Cedric, who was already deep in concentration. “It is…accepted?” He opened his eyes, but retreated to his thoughts.
“So we can just make up stuff?” Alfie said, with a bit of an edge.
“Maybe it’s because it’s a dream she really had,” Cherry offered,
“Perhaps,” Hestia joined in. “You could consider my story a ‘dream’, though I do believe it was a true encounter. Perhaps Lorelai had a similar occurrence, where she was saved right at the end of her venture, but she doesn’t remember it quite as well as I remembered mine.”
“...Lorelai, I’d like to speak with you later,” Cedric said.
“Hm? Well, okay.” The girl nervously fiddled with her braids.
“Don’t worry. I just want to…confirm something about your story.”
“Alright.”
A beat. “For now, let us continue. Alina?”
She nodded. “Alright. Brace yourselves.”
***
She was beauty, she was grace, she was queen of the stage and the star of this place. The highly fashionable Alina Kotova strutted down the academy halls. It was another ordinary day in her extraordinary boarding school, and after a long day of successful academics, it was high time to retire to her dorm and put her weary head to rest before theatre auditions tomorrow.
However, upon entering her sanctuary for beauty sleep, she noticed something odd. Her roommate was sitting in the middle of the room, staring off into some spot on the wall. And behind her, or rather, from her behind, betwixt the wooden bars of the chair, was a tail!
Some foreign language left the girl’s mouth.
“...Ulrika?”
In the moment Alina processed something atop her roommate’s blue ombré hair, the girl swiftly stood from her seat without a trace of the abnormal. “Yes?”
“...What are you doing?”
“I was practicing my lines.”
“Your lines are in another language??”
“Yes. Latin. I’m auditioning for the role of a witch.”
“There’s a witch character???”
“It’s for another script. If they don’t decide to cancel it. It’s very interesting.”
The student with the perfectly-smoothed black hair thought on it, placing a manicured hand on her hip. “...What was with the tail?”
“Tail?”
“Yeah. You, like…I saw a tail coming from you a second ago. It was blackish, and, like, had a heart shape on the end.”
“Oh.” After a pause, she removed one of the hands from behind her back. “That was my whip.”
“Why do you have a whip??”
“For my audition.”
Alina shook her head in disbelief. Of course! How could she be so stupid? Of course her fabulous roommate didn’t have a tail. How ridiculous a notion! “Well…you freaked me out for a minute there.”
“Sorry. I didn’t realize you were coming back so soon.”
“Yeah, I’m beat. I wanted to take a quick nap so I can get enough rest before auditions tomorrow. Get the lights will you?”
“Sure.”
Wow, Ulrika was so quick, Alina thought to herself. So quick that she practically turned the lights off from across the room.
Scaretober 2023
Brisk Wind on a Dark Trail
Midnight Moon
Gargoyle's Watch
Cold Stones in the Fog
Spirits Rising
Haunted House
Witching Hour
Bubbling Cauldron
Candy
Eyes
Spider Silk
Feathers
Tail
Scales
Fangs or Talons
An Offering of Blood
Dark Ritual
Spook Scary Skeletons
Carnivàle Morte
Still-Beating Heart
Sharpened Blade
Mask
Looming Shadows
The Devil's Hand
Monster
Reflection in the Mirror
Rusted Chains
Stitches
Precious Jewels
Incantation
Halloween
Epilogue
#[ Familiar Faces through the Storm ]#word spores#Maggie's Misadventures#writeblr#writing prompts#scaretober#halloween prompts#Alina Kotova#Ulrika Hartmann#Lorelai White#Gavin#Cedric Blair#Alfie Appletree#Cherry#Hestia Espinosa#I'm sorry she's so stupid lmfao
0 notes
Text
kalos league notes 👍
125
well trevor's getting eliminated first round. rip.
i do think the angsty badgeless guy is interesting just because it's the first time the perspective of someone who didn't get all their badges in time hasn't really been shown before. even if he is kind of a footnote
(unless it happened in os or something and I forgot)
and paralleling ash's battle against that guy with trevor's battle is fun
this has nothing to do with the battle & it's also not really utilized by the anime but it's interesting to think about how draco meteor is kind of an attack associated with friendship… it doesn't rely on it like moves like Return, but typically it can only be taught in the games once you have high friendship with a dragon-type. so when someone used it, it kind of implies a lot about their friendship with their pokémon
oh the stronger-stronger mantra is back. also i guess it's fitting since others already tossed out mega evolution but it's still kind of suprising he leans on bond phenomenon so early into the tournament
ofc they describe ash as a "star trainer". this poor kid's never getting out of the limelight in the kalos region
126 (tierno)
using malva's news report as a recap + to fill in the audience on some other stuff is fun
what do you think leagues do when they don't have an even amount of trainers registered. do they just kick out the odd-numbered trainer
first trevor then sawyer… why does everyone have a "secret weapon". did someone think cameron's secret weapon was really compelling or something
why does it move onto the semi-finals so quickly… well it's a lot of full battles so i guess it makes sense. since a full battle takes up a whole episode
anyways i remember tierno's battle being a lot of fun to watch so I'm looking forward to this!! i still feel bad he can't be a performer 'cause he would sweep
ace king tierno's blastoise - wait wait wait what did clemont just say
but tierno's raichu was also male…?? gay king tierno's raichu???
(i looked it up & bulbapedia counts this as an error & apparently the episode is edited on at least hulu of japan to take a notch out of raichu's tail. so it's simultaneously gay king raichu AND trans queen raichu??? that's awesome. people need to post about this instead of pikachu with a heart tail from the theatre troupe episode)
so knowing blastoise was on its last legs, he had it use a set-up move for his next pokémon (raichu, I'm assuming it's set-up for thunder). awesome
(i was right about thunder. here's the thing… mega sceptile's ability is lightning rod… ←knows this very well from raising a mega sceptile just to try and make SOS chaining dedenne easier (←it did not get easier))
why does mega sceptile have lightning rod in the first place though… it already has double resistance to electricity as a grass- and dragon-type. oh, right, it's because VGC is doubles. you can use it to defend a teammate.
i like goodra but it's so mean that they point out he has the option of transferring in a lab pokémon
127 (sawyer I)
i still love this guy's garchomp's nickname. garchoo. i gotta name one that one day
sycamore keeps staring at alain sadly & it's like. maybe if you weren't such a loser your weird son/nephew/unrelated research assistant wouldn't be such a loser either. you ever think about that
cute pep talk :) why does ash always seem so nervous his pokémon will leave if he messes up tho
I FORGOT HAWLUCHA DRESSES UP FOR THIS MATCH!!!! so awesome
aw he wasn't even in the battle for more than a few minutes. sad & fail.
so yeah as an adaptation of its ability slaking is essentially a "charge attack"… it sits around for a while, but when it does finally attack, it's extremely strong.
it is kinda wild how everything sawyer does is a counter to ash's pokémon. it makes for an interesting battle for sure, but it's also kinda like… this kid needs to get a hobby…
pikachu brings the first fun usage of the battlefield terrain
everybody idolizes this kid so badly. can you guys please find your own ideal rather than patterning yourselves after ash's every word and action
128 (sawyer II)
so to prevent pikachu from using the battlefield in a fun way, he chops down every tree. that makes sense. (i wonder if the battlefield shows up again in the finals… it probably does but it also seems like a huge pain to repair)
hellll yeah classic pikachu jumping around on floating tree stumps
it's the kind of battle that's incredibly fun to watch but not a lot to say. they put all the animation into this part of the battle.
they should have had sawyer be the XY rival who showed up in the world championship instead of alain. altho maybe not because it's hilarious that alain instantly lost to cynthia
129 (intermission)
ah it's the league intermission episode
of course pancham and chespin having a little spat is the inciting incident
oh but mairin is here so it's kind of important
hooray the famous pokémon league computer room
it's a throwaway line but that is actually interesting… it makes sense gyms would close during the league since you don't really want people picking up badges until the next circuit starts
i do like that after All Of This pikachu becomes extremely suspicious of eerie businessmen in the future
130 (alain I)
immediate clever usage of the battlefield to neutralize sandstorm
crunch not phasing pikachu when it makes contact with iron tail is an example of type match-ups affecting moves? (does steel still resist dark?)
are diantha and sycamore just making conversation or are they supposed to be commentating for TV or something
oh he's got a weavile. he shouldn't be allowed to have such a cool pokémon
HAWLUCHA POPPED OUT JUST TO CHECK ON IT [NOIVERN] 🥲
and then he lets it get revenge on the pokémon that knocked out its kid. poetic cinema
hooray hawlucha sweep
also im not sure what hawlucha glowing red is. just a metaphor/a way to show it's getting heated up? (i thought it could be an ability, but none suit what's happening. also seems like bide, but hawlucha doesn't know that iirc?)
AND A BISHARP… we need to ban alain from cool pokémon
speaking of hawlucha's ability, it definitely isn't limber. because it got paralyzed.
AND THEN HE EVEN HAS A POKÉMON THAT'S ONLY COOL TO ME (UNFEZANT) CAN WE KICK THIS GUY OUT OF THE LEAGUE. at least it's only unfezant M tho that one's not as cool as F
oh yay a birds battle
alain slowly learns the definition of "having fun"
classic close-quarters thunderbolt
hooray pikachu sweep 👏👏👏 that was fun to watch
hitting charizard with so many moves in rapid succession… it brings to mind trying to rush a kill in a fighting game. like trying too hard to grab your opponent because you know they're damaged enough that ness's back throw will be an insta kill. he knows charizard is alain's last pokémon, so he's rushing to take it down as fast as possible, while possibly not paying enough attention to everything else.
131 (alain II)
don't take pikachu out in the first minute of the second part. that's sad.
oh wait disregard what i said about charizard being alain's last i forgot about bisharp
oh ash also has two left. well i forgot about goodra
alain's clearly saving charizard for greninja
that thing's guillotine is way too accurate
now it's greninja time for the rest of the battle
haha it instantly KO'd bisharp (which had already taken a lot of damage)
wow he actually set up the battlefield with rain for greninja's sake. that's a first
now it's the big bond phenomenon VS mega evolution battle
here's the part where alain starts mirroring charizard's movements. oh wait that was also the end of the battle. this was more anti-climatic than i remembered
a lot of people point out that water shuriken had the type advantage in the last exchange of moves, but that's entirely untrue due to mega charziard X being part dragon-type. it was a neutral match-up on both sides.
#pokémon#pokéani#x&y#xy125#xy126#xy127#xy128#xy129#xy130#xy131#…it’s a long league!#fiftytenpost#xy liveblog 23
1 note
·
View note
Text
OK.
Dharma drops the tree trunk off the side of the universe and rejoins the fellahs on the couch.
Lay it on us
Truly I am interested this is uncharted territory..
The fucking navigating shit with you
Sorry
Those who are with out a vagina
The three non-vagina havers sit stacked closely together on the arm of the right side of the couch. Dharma oblivious lays across it and tosses a leg over the back. Percy is bumbled with the look of a man who just have a light bulb blow up in his face but is completely unharmed, and thusly terrified.
It's a bunch of non creative creative types.
Sponges!?
I knew it was fucking sponges, why is it always with the world.
Cork or the cactus?
*pop*
Yeah, they are sponges but take the dick out of your ears for a goddammit second and learn.
Valla.
Circles
Start hula hooping for bikini season?
Man Walton ever since Gwyong got put back together, and you put those gorgeous star-gazer lillies in her its like there are other parts to you I haven't noticed before. You're like complete and I really had a different definition of you.
THATS WHAT YOU NEED TO BE WARY OF YOU GORGEOUS FLOOD OF FIRE WITH AN AMAZING PENIS GREAT SMILE KILLER PERSONALITY AND JUST GODDAMN EVERYTHING.
You know fucking finally i...
Look. Where's Walton? Find Walton for me NOW!
Percy and Reggie looked high and lo. Through spring and summer through fall, fuck winter, and spring again.
You didn't find him did you.
No and I barely remember what he looked like come to think of it.
Because he has one value in this world. And that is fat nerdy slug thing librarian. That the hooch that spills out his taps, and you switched him to water.
Water is the devil
It's so fucking stupid
Cue the monkeys.
I hole at least they wear
Tap shoes this time.
*pop* *pop*
You made him real. Stole his thunder and pissed all over his flaws which are what people long for and made him relatable. People don't want that shit. Especially that load of cock pockets. They need their lovely lady lumps getting soulful destroyed and cock pumped by elephant constellations trumpeting their conquest of a fool to standing ovations, and beware of snake oil salesmen dressed up as interesting well thought out respectable things.
They need their sale too.
But what's more important?
That they are fracturing into different groups. Smaller groups.
We would be overwhelmed to take them on all at once, but we can certainly call on some friends that haven't been fleshed out yet.
That doesnt..oh.
I always liked labyrinth.
WWHD?
He wouldn't be deceitful. He would have helped. He..
He...
He would not give a shit because he's Henson. That I'm actually the incredible shooting star from another shooting star
From another shooting star
Oh my God.
They know that too.
Patrick Stewart was headlining Othello at the Shakespeare Theatre the summer after my freshman year, and I got to do my summer jnternship there. While I was massacering some Merchant of Venice mother fucking Jean Luke <---not doing it Picard rolls up and asks Cathy for a quarter to use the pay phone. He was just normal. I couldn't even tell you the color of his sweater I imagined was his chiseled silver chest holding me down and enterprising into my crap clapper (i can't or I'm not ready pick one) point is, he was only interesting on stage, because that was where his baguette got deep throated by the lizard bread sucking people of Mrenium 7..
Ok
Yeah this might work
.seeds I'm already thinking about that catching in my wind pipe.
Oh god
Yeah
Move on.
Sorry.
Bitch.
Point is. The enterprise flies when you are on it. This plates don't spin with out your grin. Pick the ones that better you and then the other ones be forgotten. Trust me. 15k a clap is gonna stick and none of them are worth you magically dancing around the world and encouraging things to grow. (Boom subtle bones jokes. It's not subtle if your are congratulating yourself here. I sure as fuck am. I'm still alone and I need to be ok with that. )
We need to treat me like a business then. That means that though you are well educated and it looks like you are doing cool things with the material the free lunch program is over. I will happily keep this food truck plucking by but I need things, and for once, seeing as how you have kept quiet this whole time. You will have to do me the honor of asking. As well as signing a non disclosure form. It's all swell for all of you to talk about being small and not having the means for things. I don't either, crap excuse. Specially since I'm the literal butthole you've danced around and I hav ent been paid shit. Hmmmn ok I know how to say this.
Thank you guys for giving me my light back, I am excited to collaborate with some of you. I am going to go dark for a while and figure out how to secure my ideas. I'm happy you think your spin on them is great it is probably really great. Feel free to run with what you have, but artist to artist...thats real fucking weak, I mean come on. Anyways. Going to try and fail all over the place, but gonna try and limit your view, maybe it's worth something to you, maybe it ain't. But judging by how entrapped in my own self indulgent little story weaving I'm leading you down....
Yeah
Gottem
OK we can do this.
So many neat things and like they still do dumb shit with them. God and man I am a good actor or I'm a good learner something like that cause they are stuck on stupid.
Spinning plates
Spinning plates
Spinning plates
Spinning plates
Spinning plates
Spinning plates
0 notes
Text
36 Questions to Fall in Love
Summary: When Derek bets Spencer that he cant make someone fall in love with him in a week, he doesn’t expect Spencer to marry the girl the next day
warnings: strangers to lovers, blind dates, betting, talks of: drug use, drug addiction, abusive marriages, rape, sexual assault, abuse, attempted murder, mass shootings, parental death, love confessions, elopements, opposite of slow burn
word count: 8K
A/N: this is based on a request I received a while back about this article
Derek was a betting man, to say the least. He knew Spencer was from Vegas, he also knew Emily couldn’t say no to a challenge and that Rossi had enough money to burn. Betting at work was the best way to have fun when he worked there, and now he can’t stop.
“I’m not saying con a woman into loving you, I’m saying let us find a girl and let’s see if she can fall in love with you, take a week off from work and just spend time wooing her, and in a week, me or Emily will hit on her, if she turns us down for you, then you’ve won.”
Derek explained it like it was simple, and yet the mere thought of being set up with someone was horrifyingly nerve-wracking. But he got Spencer to agree… unbeknown to him that he had another bet going on the side.
You see earlier that day he was invited to Penelope’s apartment, her younger sister was moving in for a little while and they needed a big strong man to help move the boxes. And like Penelope, Y/N was really chatty and overly friendly really fast. It was like he’s always known Y/N Garcia.
She explained to Derek how hard it was in California to find good men who want someone to love them, she’s tired of guys thinking she comes on too fast, she wants someone who wants to settle and have kids and be a dad. Not a Vain narcissist who only cares about what the city can offer him.
“The last guy I went on a date with literally ran when I mentioned I read a New York Times article about 36 questions to make you fall in love… I just want a person to love? Is that really so hard?”
A lightbulb goes off in Derek’s mind, and Penelope almost reads it.
“Spencer.” They both reply with the same cheeky grin.
“I bet you, you could be as insane as you say you are and he’d still be in love with you by the end of the week.” Derek teases, and the way she smiles shows just how interested she is.
—
Woo her.
The words have rattled around in his brain every second of every moment since Derek said he found a girl for him.
She was free on Saturday, all Spencer had to do was tell Derek where she should meet him and all Penelope had to do was not mention to Spencer that she had a sister, it was up to Y/N when Spencer learned that fact.
She’s already there at the restaurant when he arrives, he’s not sure what he was expecting when Derek said he found the perfect girl but it wasn’t this. He was thinking it was going to be a joke, that either no one would show or Derek was hooking him up with some hot blonde who was way out of his league.
She was beautiful in a nice dress, her makeup was stunning and she looked so content sitting there, waiting for him. Starring her ice water with a straw, she wasn’t paying any attention to the room, she barely knew he was there.
“Hi?” He said softly, not wanting to startle her.
“Hi,” she beamed up at him, that same unsure look on her face. Neither of them was expecting anything from the other, but they were pleasantly surprised.
“Spencer Reid,” he says, actually extending a hand to shake her’s because it’s the chivalrous thing to do.
She reaches out her hand, watching him take it and kiss her knuckle softly, she’s so surprised. “Oh, um, Y/N Garcia,” she whispers the name and his eyes go wide.
“Garcia?” He panics a little, sitting down in the booth and facing her as her face drops at his reaction.
“Did he not tell you I’m Penelope’s sister? I knew Derek was up to something,” she looked like it was all too good to be true, upset almost.
“He didn’t, he probably wanted you to tell me, I mean this all so we can get to know each other,” Spencer shrugs it off, interested in seeing why Derek picked her of all people.
“I guess,” she smiled again, “so what do you do?”
“I work with Penelope, I specialize more in psycho-linguistics and geographical profiling.”
She nods in approval, “I’m a high school English teacher.”
Spencer laughs lightly, “what’s that like?”
“Interesting to say the least, especially in California. Every kid there wants to be on TikTok, no one cares about reading any of the books I ask them too,” she just shakes her head. “I’m worried about the next generation.”
“Me too, it’s almost alarming how many kids are unsubs,” he agrees. She’s so easy to talk to, he’s suddenly not nervous anymore and the waiter is coming to take their order.
He never even opened the menu, “what looks good?” He asks Y/N, nervous and she can tell.
“I think I’m going to have the lobster, let’s go all out?” She shrugged again, both of them feeling more adventurous than normal.
“I’ll have that as well,” Spencer smiled, keeping eye contact with only her as she handed the menus back to him.
They ordered sides and appetizers, stuffed mushrooms and fresh bread, it was amazing. They traded small facts about each other, Spencer noticed a lot of Penelope’s quirks in her, she was very friendly and kind and funny. She loved to tease him and make him laugh, his stomach hurt by the time their lobsters came out.
“I’ve never done this before,” she admits, putting on her bib and holding the claw cracker in one hand.
“Neither have I, but I think it’s fairly simple you just need to apply the correct amount of pressure,” he demonstrates by picking up the crustacean and cracking it at its weakest point before twisting it open.
He’s surprised he did it, so is she as she copies is movements and struggles a bit. “You got it, come on,” he encourages her as she squeezed so hard her hands shake but the shell does eventually crack.
She smiles like she just won the science fair, overly proud as they stare at each other. Enamoured already by just how cute the other was.
“So, what do you do for fun outside being a fed?” She teases between bites.
“I like to spend my time finding new things, I tend to go to the same spots often but I’m always looking for new places. I like the theatre, the old cemetery is nice, I’m excited for the new phantasmagoria to open this fall,” he explains all his interests as he cracks away at his dinner. “I just like to try and appreciate what’s out there, after everything I see.”
“That’s really nice, I’ve always wanted to go to a phantasmagoria actually, science magic is the best kind of magic,” she says it like it’s nothing, almost embarrassed by the interest.
“Me too, I love magic,” Spencer lights up, “I can actually do some magic, hold on.”
He digs his NA chip out of his pocket, showing it to her quickly before making it disappear and reappear behind her ear and she was so smitten, “how the heck?” She asked as she reached for her own ear, shocked at the fact he could do it.
“Do you always keep a coin on you for that?”
He thinks about it for a second, not knowing if he should tell her or not. “No, I keep this on me for support.”
He places it on the table, she picks it up instead and inspects it carefully, “2 years is a really long time, I’m really proud of you.”
He feels like he falls in love with her in that moment, she places the chip back in his hand and smiles, “it’s not easy to admit nor recover from, it’s something you should be really proud of Spencer.”
“Thank you,” he blushes, “um, is there anything else you want to know about me?”
She bites the inside of her lip as she thinks, “actually I was reading an article the other day that said there are a list of personal questions you can ask someone and by the end of all of them you should be in love with the person.”
He thought it was a good opportunity to take a sip of water, upon hearing the word love he realizes it was a mistake. He chokes lightly, coughing as he puts the glass back down and apologizes.
“Love?” He repeats the word.
“I’m going to be real honest here Spencer, I don’t date to get my heartbroken, I date to find my life partner so if you’re not interested in marriage or kids one day tell me now,” she’s very stern about it and he can tell she’s gotten her hopes up and heart broken before.
“I want that too, I just didn’t expect you to be so upfront about it,” he’s honest, because clearly that’s what she wants from him. “What was on the question list?”
“Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?” She asks, remembering the questions easily.
“Wow,” he takes a moment to think about it, “alive or dead?”
“Sure, why not,” she shrugs.
“Probably biological Eve,” he comes to the decision rather quickly. “I’ve always been fascinated with the fact all humans can be traced back to one single women. I’m sure she was amazing, it must have been so interesting being the first women on earth.”
“That is the coolest answer anyone has ever given me,” she smiles, “I think I’d be boring and have dinner with Julia Roberts.”
“She’s a very talented actress,” he smiles, recognizing the name from Penelope’s movie nights. “Um, I have an eidetic memory, do you have the list I can just read it once and then we can spit it back and forth easily.”
She looks at him with wide eyes and a growing smile, “yeah hold on.” She takes out her cellphone and pulls up the article before handing it to him.
He reads it quickly and then hands it right back, she was amazed, surely it was a joke? “Would I like to be famous?” He repeats the next question to himself.
“No,” he’s very certain. “I’ve had some encounters with psychopaths who think they are my biggest fans, perfect match or my only rival, and it’s not fun. I’m sure being adored is lovely, but I don’t like the attention if it’s not from a good place.”
“So you want praise but you don’t want a stalker?” She dumbs it down slightly with a smile, “I definitely don’t want to be famous because I don’t like other peoples opinions about me.”
“That’s incredibly fair.”
“Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say?” She asks the next one.
“If it’s for work or my mother, yes,” he answers it completely honestly. “I prefer not to make phone calls, so when I have to make them I typically spend the day before panicking.”
She smiles, “well, if you ever need someone to call tech support and pretend to be you, I am really good on the phone.”
“Like Penelope?”
She nods, “we spent a lot of time talking on the phone when she moved to Virginia for your team.”
“That must have been really hard, I’m surprised she hasn’t mentioned you yet?”
“I’m not really her sister,” she smiles, “I wish I was. I met her during a really abusive relationship and I didn’t feel close to my parents anymore, so my old name didn’t feel right either. Penelope and her brothers were the closest thing I had to family, so I took their name after my divorce.”
“That’s beautiful,” his smile is so soft, she wonders if he feels the same about Penelope.
“What do you consider a perfect day?” She moves on before she can pry into his personal life further, just to pry into his personal life further— in another direction.
“Nobody dies.”
“Even the bad guys?” She squints as she asks it, wondering if that was an appropriate topic for the first date.
“I’m not a fan of the prison system, and I’m really not a very big fan of suicide by cop, let alone lethal injection,” he explained. “Just because you’re a murderer or a psychopath doesn’t mean you have to die too, there is rehabilitation and a way to keep them sane and alive while keeping people safe. I just hate when people die.”
“Me too,” her smile is sad, “my perfect day would be having my parents back, I’d like to show them my degree and go out for ice cream and give them another hug.”
“We should have our perfect days back to back,” his voice is low, he was nervous to say it. “Cause then once you bring them back, I stop people from dying and they can stay forever.”
He sees her heartbreak as the tears well in her eyes, “that would be nice.”
“Um,” he clears his throat and then takes a sip of water. “When was the last time you sang to yourself, or someone else?”
“I was singing in the car on the way here,” she smiles with a sniffle, “I sing a lot actually. I’m always humming or tapping as well, if my mind is wandering then it has to make some kind of noise.”
“What is your favourite thing to hum?” He can’t stop himself from asking it, “I personally do the muppets, duh duh nanana, manamanah.”
She laughs again, and a tear slips out as her eyes close. She hurries to wipe it away, “I often find myself doing the teletubbies song, you know; ‘Tinky-Winky, Dipsy,’” she sings the words before humming the tune to match.
“That’s a good one too,” Spencer is really enthusiastic suddenly, the way he would be with Penelope. He was really comfortable. “If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?”
“Mind, because that’s how you keep a good body. If I can keep the strength and willpower to get up in the mornings and go to work and remember why I love being alive, I’ll be young forever,” she answers like it’s rehearsed.
“I was going to say I’d want my mind too, but the way you said it is a lot more elegant,” he teases. “My mom has Alzheimer's, you were honest about wanting kids and you should know that's genetic. I can also pass on schizophrenia and any other mental illness, like depression, bipolar disorder and most definitely anxiety—
“Spencer,” she reaches across the table for his hand, “breathe, that’s not scary to me. My grandma had it too, I’m not optimal gene-wise either.”
He takes a deep breath, “Sorry.”
“It makes you real to react like that, I don’t mind seeing that side of you. Fake strong men and men who compensate are the worst, in my opinion.”
“Mine too,” he agrees. “I am an anxious worrier, I barely sleep, I’m terrified of the dark, I have PTSD nightmares about my short stay in prison, and I cry a lot when I’m alone.”
“It was a mistake clearly? The prison stay, that is.”
“Yeah,” he nods, moving to the next question. “Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?”
She laughs through her nose at the switch topic change, “well until I was 19 I thought my husband was going to kill me, then I thought maybe it would be myself, now I’m content dying in my sleep when I'm old.”
“It is ever-changing,” he agrees. “I have died before.”
“What did it feel like?”
She doesn’t ask how, she knows he was sober, she knows he’s been to prison, she knows he’s an agent. It wasn’t a surprise. Penelope even almost died once before, it was an unfortunate part of the job.
“Warm.”
“Like soothing warm, like drinking a hot chocolate, or that uncomfortable warm like being in a hot car?”
“Like a hug.”
Her lips purse, she hums a bit. “Yeah, my answer stays the same.”
“Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.”
“You like to learn,” she smiles again. “You enjoy the mysteries and the horribleness of the world because it keeps you grounded. You love your mom.”
“We love Penelope, our hearts have similar scars, life has been mean to us for no reason,” he adds 3 more for good measure.
“What are you grateful for in life?” She asks the next question.
“I’ve never said this before,” he prefaces, “but found family. If it wasn’t for my team, no matter who was coming and going over the years, anyone who has had my back. Anyone who loves me in any capacity. That’s what I’m grateful for.”
“We’re not even through the first set of questions and I can see why everyone loves you,” she admits. Moving far too fast, doing exactly what Derek wanted from her.
To scare him and see if he still stays.
“Can I tell you a secret?” Spencer stops the questions, “I can’t continue if I can’t tell you this.”
“Yeah, what’s wrong?”
“Derek and Emily bet me $20 that I couldn’t get someone to fall in love with me, he wanted to set this up and then hit on you in a week and see if you picked me over him, and it feels like a really shitty thing to do to you. It’s making me feel like you’re an object more than a person and I feel really bad about it.”
She just laughs and he has no idea why. “He bet me that I could be as insane as I am with most of my dates and you’d still want to stay with me after a week.”
“You’re not mad?” He worries, by passing her words and the implications of it all.
“No, did you truly mean how you feel?”
“Yes…”
“Then I accept your apology, you’re really kind Spencer. I believe you when you speak, I trust you,” she explains her reasoning and he settles once more. “You’re the most real man I’ve ever met, I think.”
“Thank you,” he smiles again, reaching out for her hand once more, “do you want to finish these questions?”
“Not really,” she smirks, “I think they were wrong about all 35 of them making you fall in love with someone.”
“How so?”
“It only took me 9.”
It’s so absurd they start to laugh, making eye contact, they feel delirious. His hand in hers, she squeezes it lightly and he never wants to let it go.
“Do you want to get out of here?”
“Sure, did you drive?” She asks.
“No, I walked over.”
She gets up from the table and takes his hand once more, “well, are we going to mine or yours?”
“Are you living with Penelope?”
“Yours it is then,” she teases, bumping his shoulder. This was going to be fun.
Spencer pays for their meal and meets her out front, he gets in her passenger seat and gives her the directions. “Do you want to finish the questions on the drive?” He asks.
“Hmm, well, 11 is a long one, if you want to start telling me your life story in graphic detail? Or we can jump to 12 and you can tell me what super ability you’d like to wake up with?”
“Have you ever watched star trek?”
She’s not expecting that, it makes her take a double-take, she laughs lightly, “Yeah, why?”
“Deanna Troi can sense peoples emotions, I think that would really help with my job,” he explains it easily. “And in times like this.”
“I can just tell you,” she offers, pulling into his apartment complex, she can tell why he walked.
“You don’t have to yet, let it simmer,” he smiles softly, he’s not ready for her to make a decision like loving him when she really doesn’t know everything yet. “Come inside?”
She nods, getting out and taking his hand again for the walk inside. His house is green, and it makes sense. There are door wooden bookshelves and the distant smell of old books and spilled coffee, it’s dusty and old and very Spencer.
“Can I tell you some of my story?” She asks as she kicks her shoes off.
“Absolutely,” he follows her lead, “do you want anything, wine, water?”
“Wine would be nice,” she smiles, following him to the kitchen, “you know my favourite place to talk to someone is in the kitchen.”
“Why?”
“It's the heart of the house,” she smiles slightly, “that's what my mom used to say. This is where all the love happens.”
He loves her and he knows it already, she makes him happy and calm and if she’s in the heart of his house she might as well know all of his own heart.
“I was born in Vegas,” Spencer admits, pushing his life story past his lips before she can stop him or else he wouldn’t.
“My mom was a professor, my dad is an attorney, I have always been really smart and not so athletic, I enjoy chess and reading and I had big thick glasses as a child. My mom participated in a murder and my dad covered it up and that ruined their marriage but they blamed it on her schizophrenia when he left. And then I was left to raise her when she was supposed to be raising me. I cared for her until I turned 13, I left her during the weeks and my aunt would make sure she was okay and I would travel back and forth from CalTech and Vegas on the weekends.”
She can see the exhaustion on his face at just remembering it.
“I got my licence at 16, and then I took her car and it was easier. When I was 18 I put her in a sanatarium and sold her house and took a road trip with my friend to Virginia to go to the academy. He didn’t like it after a week and asked me to go with him to New Orleans and I didn’t— I met my mentor and joined the BAU instead. I was kidnapped and drugged by a man with DID… I died and then his personality switched and Tobias brought me back. I had an addiction to Dilaudid for a few months after, then I got sober after visiting Ethan in New Orleans.”
“Was he good to you?”
“Wonderful,” he smiles, “he was my shoulder to cry on for a long time and I didn’t realize how much I needed him in my recovery until we got a case and I had a reason to see him. I missed a plane and ignored my friends to just be with him. He’s the reason I got clean, not anything else… he told me that I was too special to hate myself, and he was right.”
“He was,” she smiles. “He sounds lovely.”
“And then, the first time I saw my mom after putting her in the sanatarium was because she told parts of our case to a man who lost his daughter, and he did a lot of messed up stuff… like he shot my co-worker. She was another special person to me—“
“I’m so sorry.”
He smiles, “she lived, don’t worry. I loved Elle, she was amazing but the bureau didn’t see that. She was a broken toy to them, we all become one eventually. I miss her a lot.”
She walks into his space and wraps her arms around him, giving him a hug as he rests against the counter, she makes no attempt to move back. Holding him in the heart of the house, close to her own. He holds her back just as tight.
“Maeve, she was another person I loved who got shot, she died. I see her sometimes when I sleep, she visits me when I’m in the most need. I’ll always love her, but she’s gone. The only other woman who claims to have loved me was a psychopath who is dead now too, she framed me for murder, had me drugged, kidnapped my mother and the list goes on and it’s not pretty. In prison she had a lot of bad things happen to me, I have scars that will never heal and a part of me was lost but I’m okay now.”
They have a moment of silence in the middle of their stories, she absorbs it while preparing her own, rubbing his back as her cheek stays pressed to his chest.
“I was born in California, my parents were high school sweethearts, they made me at prom. Learned that from the scrapbooks,” she laughs against his chest, “they were great and then they died when I was 14, it was a mass shooting at a mall, and I went to a foster home. I married the oldest son in the home after he groomed me for a few years… I met Penelope when I was 20 and she helped me get divorced and back on my feet and her brothers protected me.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“I’m sorry you relate to loss.”
“It's the one thing that unites us all, really,” Spencer’s voice is barely a whisper. “When you think about it, we’re all born and we all die, the only difference is how we fill the middle.”
They never get to that bottle of wine he mentioned, she pulls back and asks the next question as she drags him to his bedroom. “If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?”
“If I get to have kids.”
She drags him into the room and closes the door, “that was going to be my answer.”
“Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?” He asks as she starts to take her clothes off.
“Sleep beside the love of my life.”
“I’ve never woken up beside the love of my life,” he replies with a soft smile and follows suit, getting undressed down to their underwear before climbing in bed.
“Greatest accomplishment?” She asks as they settle in, laying her cheek on his chest once more.
He takes a moment to think of everything he’s done that has been good, and one really stands out. “there was a case a few years back, we found a bunch of kids who went missing and returned them to their families and gave answers to the families of children who didn’t make it. Days like that feel like a reward.”
“Getting divorced,” she pushes the words out quickly.
“Most valued friendship?” He asks, knowing she doesn’t need to explain herself.
“Penelope.”
“Derek.”
“Most treasured memory?”
“When JJ placed her son in my arms and told me I was his godfather,” his voice is hushed and she knows it’s because he doesn’t want to cry. “It's the closest I’ve gotten to being a father so far.”
“I got an end of the year present when I was first starting out, this girl told me that I was the reason she enjoyed reading again and it was the reason I started teaching, I’ll never forget her. Tammy Brownlee, she graduated in 2009 and we’ve been Facebook friends ever since.”
“Most terrible memory?”
“My parents dying.”
“You’d think mine would be dying right?” He asked, she nodded against his chest, “it was actually being held down by 3 men, getting a sock shoved in my mouth while they beat me.”
She kissed his chest softly, “I’m sorry, I know that feeling. Mind you, he was only 1 man, it’s not a good feeling.”
“If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?”
“If it’s definite; not like a chance or a cancer statistic, if it’s like this is the day you die no ifs and's or butts, then I’d just continue as normal and have 1 really awesome day right before,” she smiles against him. “Make the most of it all.”
“If I was dying a year today, I’d ask you to marry me.”
“Already?” She laughs, thinking he’s kidding.
“You want a nice husband and a kid? I will be good for you as long as I know you, and I’ll have as many kids as you want me to help you make.”
She’s silent as she thinks about it. “What does friendship mean to you?”
“Someone who is there for you even when they don’t want to be, even when it’s hard,” Spencer whispers, thinking about his friends.
“It means hacking the government and voiding a marriage and changing someone's name so they can escape,” Y/N whispers. “don’t tell the feds she did that too.”
“What roles do love and affection play in your life?”
“I crave it and hardly receive it, but I give it out like it’s a sample at costco,” she snickers at the example she gave. “It’s something that people have always admired about me and yet it’s also the thing that scares people away. When I love, I love hard and it’s full and annoying and you will feel suffocated sometimes, but just tell me when and I’ll back off.”
“I don’t know how to ask for what I need,” Spencer whispers. “But I need someone to love me like that.”
“The next one is to alternate 5 good things about each other,” she rests her chin on her hand as she looks up at his face in the darkness, “soft.”
He pauses for a moment, bypassing the easiest one and saying pretty, instead, he says; “you’re honest.”
“You’re very caring,” she replies.
“You see beauty in the world still.”
She smiles at that one, “you make the world beautiful.”
“You are beautiful.”
“And you’re handsome, that’s my 4th,” she keeps track in her head.
“You’re true, to your heart, your promises, everything.”
“And you’re real, you see the world for what it is and you don’t try to change it for the better. You want to make it manageable,” her explanation is the longest one yet. “Was your childhood happy, and do you feel close with your family still?”
“I write to my mom every single day and I drop the notes off weekly, and no,” he doesn’t want to cry, but he feels like he might again. “It was liveable, I made it.”
“Mine was happy until I was 14, then I was alone, I have 1 living aunt and she is strange but I get a card from her every Christmas,” Y/N adds. “I’d like to think your lack of love and my need to fill the world with what I miss from my parents will make a really good family dynamic.”
“Me too.”
“How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?” She asks, “I think I know already, but it’s the next one.”
“She hit me a few years ago because I made her take some medicine, she hit me once when I was a kid too…” he whispers them so that they stay a secret, if they can’t be heard else where then they don’t exist in his mind. “She was a wonderful mother but the worst memories stick out the most now. She’s forgetting everything and all I can remember is how hard it’s been on me, like a bad son.”
“My mom was my best friend, and I still talk to her every day, I bring her and my dad around with me in my necklace,” she pulls the chain on her neck and shows him the little jar. “Mom, Dad, this is Spencer. Spencer, this is my mom and dad.”
He holds it in his hand and tips it gently, “nice to meet you.”
“The next one is weird,” she changed the topic again.
“Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "We are both in this room feeling…" Spencer says it verbatim. “We are both feeling understood.”
“We are both hopeful.”
“We are both falling in love,” Spencer ends the feelings with the most prominent one.
“We are,” she agrees with another smile.
“Finish this,” he insists on moving forward, “I wish I had someone I could share…”
“The rest of my life with,” she whispers this time. “If we become besties, what’s something I should know?”
“I think I’ve told you all the important stuff so far,” Spencer thinks hard, pausing for a moment. “My butt is ticklish?”
It makes her giggle, “that is a good one. My sides and the bottom of my feet are ticklish too.”
“Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met,” Spencer reads the question back from memory, “don’t be afraid to be too honest.”
“I like that you know how I feel but I hate that you’ve been hurt. I like how you listen to me, and I really like how comfortable you make me feel. I’m almost naked in your bed right now and I know you’d never, ever hurt me, and I haven’t felt that in a really long time.”
“I like that you are indulging me in the dream of becoming a husband and a dad one day… most people say it’ll happen but they never picture it. No one has ever said yeah id have your kids. I like that you know what you want and you’re actively looking for it.”
She moves up so she can hold his face in her hands, “only 7 more. Is it working?”
He nods, “my most embarrassing moment is the time I had a wet dream on the work jet.”
She laughs and then covers her mouth in panic, “I’m sorry that’s not funny.”
“It is, it’s fine,” he smiles. “I was dreaming about kissing this actress we helped, she actually did kiss me in the pool, so I guess it was bound to happen.”
She leans in and presses her lips against his, holding his cheeks in her hands his wrap around her waist as he holds her there. She peppers smaller kisses to his lips before pulling back, “we both cried in front of each other already today, so next question.”
“Tell me what you like about me already?”
Her hands trail his chest and down towards his boxers, he’s hard again from just kissing and she smirks, “this is promising.”
His hand on her back unclips her bra, “I love boobs, not even going to lie. They are my weakness.”
She pushes the straps down and tosses her bra aside, pressing her naked chest against his, she moves on. “What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?”
“Being called insane, saying I'm seeing things, or acting crazy, those are things I don’t like to be told because they make my anxiety worse.”
“Noted,” she smiles. “I talk to myself a lot so get ready for that.”
“Okay,” he smiles, she’s way too easy to be real.
“I don’t want to mention my last husband from here on out, I think if I get married again I will never tell anyone I have a first husband,” she’s firm in her words.
“Technically, Y/N Garcia has never had a husband,” he reminds her.
Her face lights up at the realization, “you’re right.”
“If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?” Spencer asks.
“I regret not screaming at my ex before I disappeared but I wanted to live.”
He hums, understanding how it feels. “There isn’t anyone in specific I’ve wanted to tell this to, but I wanted to kill people when I was in prison. It made me really angry being in there and I let myself dream about killing people who hurt me and then I almost did kill someone.”
“Remember what you said about bad guys?” She whispers a helpful tip, “even the worst people deserve to have a chance at life. And you’re not hardly as bad as the worst people you’ve met.”
“You’re right,” he agrees. “Thank you.”
“This place burns down, what’s one thing you’d run back inside for? Outside of people and animals…” she asks the 3rd last question.
“The book Maeve gave me.”
“The girlfriend who died?” She confirms, and he nods. “If my place with Penelope burned down, I just want my necklace and I don’t take it off that often.”
“The next question is interesting,” Spencer thinks about it, “Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing, and why?”
“I’m glad I wasn’t at the mall with my parents, if I saw them get shot it would hurt more,” she whispers. “I’m sorry you had to see Maeve die like that.”
“In a way, I’m glad I saw Maeve get shot, otherwise I wouldn’t have believed it. She never felt real to me and then she was dead…”
She just hums, “Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it,” she whispers the last question.
“Also, ask your partner to reflect to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen,” Spencer adds in the second half.
“I need to find a place to stay now that I’m here, I don’t want to keep living with Penelope. As much as I love her, I want my own place,” Y/N admits.
“I think I’m in love with this girl that I just met and I don’t know if it’s too soon to ask her to look for a house with me?” Spencer pretends to sigh, “she’s super cool and I think we’d make some nice kids. I would love some advice.”
“Has she told you she loves you yet?” She teases.
Spencer shakes his head. “I love you, Y/N.”
“I love you, too, Spencer,” she replies, leaning in one more time to kiss him.
It’s deeper this time, she breathes him in and rests her forehead against his as she breathes between them.
“How did that work?” She whispers, truly amazed at how easy it was.
He shrugs, “it’s a good questionnaire.”
“You were really honest, your heart is really pure and I would like to get to know you more, but I feel like I know everything?” She shakes her head while she talks, overthinking all the things she has learned, “I don’t even know what could be left?”
“My birthday is October 28th?” He whispers, “we have a lot to discover yet.”
—
When she doesn’t come home in the morning, Penelope knows she’s at Reid’s house. She just doesn’t expect to walk in and find them naked in Reid’s bed, out cold and cuddled together with their clothes all over the room.
It looks like something happened. If only she knew the truth.
“Oh my god?” Penelope’s voice wakes them up and Spencer scrambles to make sure they are covered by his blankets.
“What are you doing here?” Y/N shouts as she wakes up.
“I came to see if you were okay. I expected one of you to be on the couch, I didn’t think it went this good?”
“We just slept in the same bed, I promise,” Spencer turned bright red as he panicked, “we just got to know each other and talked all night, in what we normally sleep in.”
“Uh-huh,” Penelope smirks, “so I take it the 36 questions worked?”
“Perhaps,” Y/N smirks back at her sister.
“Do you use it on many people?”
“No one has made it past the first question,” she smiles at him instead, kissing his cheek as Penelope watches.
“That’s my queue to go, um… yeah, wow, I didn’t see this happening so fast,” Penelope is shocked but in the best way.
She leaves just as fast as she arrived and Y/N settles back into Spencer the second she closes the bedroom door. “You know, if she’s not going to believe us we might as well do it? If you accidentally get me pregnant then we can move fast and no one will question it.”
He laughs, “accidentally, is the key word there.”
“My parents made me at prom after crushing on each other for 2 years… I think knowing each other for 2 days isn’t the weirdest way to start a family?”
“Honestly,” Spencer lets out a sigh and her happy mood drops to a more serious one. “I was a little worried that we’d wake up this morning and you’d change your mind.”
“Why?”
“In the heat of the moment, learning everything about each other and saying I love you was really exhilarating, but I have a hard time believing it,” he admits, “not many people mean it, or stay around after they tell me they love me.”
She cuddles back into the crook of his neck and holds him as tightly as possible, wrapping a leg around him for optimal coverage, “I am staying right here, because I love you, Spencer.”
“Okay,” he whispers. Sounding like he still doesn’t believe it.
“I love you because you’re honest, you want what I want and you’re truly kind. You’re friends with my sister, you’re smart, you would make a great dad, you won't hurt me, you are really nice to cuddle with, and I know you mean it when you say you love me because it’s not a word you use lightly.”
“Are you my girlfriend now?” He wonders aloud, “cause if you really want to have a kid, I have my mom's old wedding ring in my closet, and I would rather be married to you before we do that?”
“Okay,” she whispers, tears welling in her eyes as she hides her face in his neck, “the courthouse is literally just down the road?”
“We can get breakfast together after?” Spencer adds, rubbing her back as they plan, he wasn’t scared anymore.
“Penelope will kill me if she’s not there, can we have her as our witness?” Y/N finally sits up to look at him, pulling away to sit on the bed, still shirtless.
His smile while he tries to keep eye contact with her is so funny, she giggles a little as she hides her nipples behind her palms and cups her boobs.
“I’m pretty sure she’s still in my living room,” Spencer giggles, “Penelope!?”
She comes back in then, “yes?”
“We’re going to the courthouse to get married, wanna come?” Y/N asks with an embarrassed smile.
“Yes!” She cheers, “I’ll go get you a dress!”
And then she’s off again, this time actually leaving Spencer’s apartment. “What if we don’t tell Derek, and let him hit on me next week anyway?
“Then you can say ‘sorry I have a husband,’ and he’ll body slam me to the floor,” Spencer laughs nervously, “the whole team is going to be so pissed they missed my wedding…”
She frowns, “send out a mass text, tell them to meet us at the court house, it’s their day off right?”
“You’re right,” he smiles.
This was going to be interesting.
—
Walking out of the courthouse, hand in hand, she’s in a white dress, he’s in a suit he’d probably wear to work, Penelope is crying and the whole team is waiting outside for them.
At the bottom of the courthouse steps, they all clap and cheer, throwing rice at them like an old movie, Spencer’s smiling so hard his cheeks are burning. Y/N introduces herself to everyone, hugged over and over by everyone she should have met 15 years ago.
Derek is tapping his foot, waiting for Spencer to come and hug him, “what the fuck?” He asks as Spencer steps into his space, wrapping his arms around him and shaking his back and forth.
“Nice try, I’ll give you $20 as a thank you,” Spencer teases as he pulls away. “She is perfect.”
JJ and Will are busy talking to Y/N when he turns around, Mike and Henry not far behind them. Spencer walks over and wraps Henry up in his arms, the kid was growing way too fast, Spencer loved him so much it hurt sometimes.
“Y/N, this is my godson,” Spencer introduces them, “Henry, this is Y/N.”
She gives him a big hug too, “do you have any cousins, Henry?”
“No, but I was 8 when Michael was born,” he smiles, “and I’m getting old enough to be a good babysitter?”
Spencer laughed, messing up Henry’s hair quickly with a smile, “I’m sure by the time you’re a cousin you’ll be great.”
They take a group photo outside, Spencer and Y/N in the middle, everyone was smiling. It was the first time all of them had been in a photo together, the entirety of Spencer’s found family. Now they were Y/N’s too.
She hyphenated her last name, Y/N Garcia-Reid, and their kids would share the same one. He was not only about became a father thanks to Y/N, but Penelope would also become an Aunt once more. It was like a gift that kept on giving, seeing Spencer and Y/N create a little family of their own.
—
She cried her eyes out when she met Diana. She wasn’t expecting to be so emotional, but then Diana was lucid and very welcoming and sweet.
“It’s going to be a pleasure having you as my daughter,” Diana smiles, thinking it was just a nice thing to say.
Y/N cries and holds her so tight Diana almost can’t breathe but she lets her hold her as long as she needs to, “thank you.”
“You’re welcome?”
“I haven’t had someone to call mom since I was 14,” Y/N whispers, “if that’s okay?”
Diana hugs her just a little too tight in response, “you can call me mom whenever you want.”
“Just until you become a grandma,” she whispers again as she pulls back and Diana’s attention snaps to Spencer.
“Are you trying?”
He nods, “we want kids, we’re not getting any younger.”
Diana wraps him up in a hug and he almost falls off his chair at the sheer force of it, she was so happy for him. She knew this was all he’s ever wanted; because he would be good at it, he had all this love in his heart, and he wanted to show his father how easy it is to stay.
“You’re going to be a great dad, Spencer,” she holds his cheeks as she pulls away, “I’m proud of you.”
He cried. It’s all he’s wanted from her, and now he has everything right here in this room.
—
When they find out they’re pregnant after the first try, it’s really funny to them. It was all working so well, it was a little too much for them at first. They were looking for a house, she was looking for a permanent teaching job but Spencer convinced her to wait until after the baby is born to go back.
They name her Morgan Garcia-Reid as a thank you for Derek’s little bet, and before she’s even 6 months old they’re pregnant again. By the time they have 4 kids under 5 they take a break and just enjoy their little family.
To think Derek gave them 7 days to fall in love… and then they lived happily ever after.
taglist: @g0lden-cth @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @ssavanessa22 @spookyspence @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria@reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @calm-and-doctor @blanchardsbk
#spencer reid#spencer reid smut#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#spencer reid self insert#spencer reid request#criminal minds smut#criminal minds imagine
689 notes
·
View notes
Text
TRAITOR
pairings: female reader x lee heeseung
summary: you thought lee heeseung was the best boyfriend you could ever wished for. but they did warn you about long distanced relationships. at first, you convinced yourself that it was just your insecurities taking over. but your gut feeling has never been wrong
genre: college au, lovers to exes, fluff, angst, sad ending
featuring: kang hyewon, shin ryujin, lee chaeryeong, lee daehwii, yang jeongin & zhong chenle
word count: 10.4k
warnings: breaking up, mentions of insecurity and cheating, arguments, strong language
the sour series masterlist
Setting down the final box on the ground, you released a sigh of relief and stretched your arms upwards. The satisfying sounds of your joints popping gave you a sense of relief as you stretched. Then you felt a pair of arms snake around your waist. You smiled as you took in his familiar scent. You reached up to touch his neck as Heeseung pressed a kiss to the side of your head.
"Thank you for your help, lovely," he mumbled in your hair.
You turned around in his arms and clasped your hands behind his neck, toying with the back of his hair. Lee Heeseung was looking at you with pure love in his eyes and you couldn't be more happy. "I can't believe we're both finally in university," he said, squeezing your waist.
"Hmm yeah, finally out of high school," you hummed. "It's sad that we didn't get into the same university though," you cupped his left cheek, rubbing his cheek lovingly with your thumb.
Heeseung nuzzled into your hand, slowly drawing you closer. "I can always drive to your dorm, it's just a three hour drive from here."
"Or I can drive to you," you replied.
He scoffed, "Yeah if you get your driver's license," he teased.
You rolled your eyes and softly punched him on the chest before pushing yourself away from his embrace. "Listen, not all of us can miraculously pass on their first try okay," you defended yourself but Heeseung just laughed at you.
Although you tried to act like you were mad at his joke, you couldn't wipe the smile off your face as you sat down on his bed. Currently, the two of you were in Heeseung's dorm. You wanted to help him move in before you had to leave. Heeseung and you were high school sweethearts, the school's loveliest couple. And you've been together ever since then. Today marked a new milestone for the both of you as you had finally graduated from high school and now both of you were accepted into different universities.
The both of you had decided to do what's best for each other and went to different schools. It was for the sake of your future, you didn't want to cause a commotion just because you guys were three hours apart. Plus, it was just three hours. Heeseung could always come visit you and video calls were a thing. You're friends were scared that the both of you wouldn't survive a long distance relationship but you had faith in each other. And that was enough.
Heeseung was lucky to have a room all for himself, whereas you had to share a dorm with two other girls. His room was small but big enough for one person. You knew Heeseung was a simple man, if it had a bed and a table, that would be enough for him. A knock on the door caught your attention, you suddenly remembered that you guys had left the door open when you were moving boxes.
Outside the door stood a pretty girl with long blonde hair. She was really pretty, you noted. She looked so natural as a blonde as well, you couldn't help but thought. The pretty girl sent both of you an awkward smile and waved. You stood up and walked to her, somewhat excited to make a new friend.
"Hi!" You greeted her with a smile, you felt Heeseung behind you.
"Hi," she mirrored your smile. "I'm Hyewon, I'm from the room next door," she pointed out.
"Oh! I'm Heeseung," the taller boy introduced himself. "And this is my girlfriend, Y/N," he smiled at you.
"It's nice to meet you, are you both music majors too?" Hyewon asked. It was common for Hyewon to ask that, considering the university Heeseung applied for is known for their music stream. Heeseung was extremely talented, being blessed with a heavenly voice and all. It was his dream to pursue a music career. Thanks to you, he found the courage to do so,
"Oh no, just him. I don't actually go here," you immediately told her. "I actually go to George University instead."
"Oh! So you're a theatre major then," Hyewon said, surprising you a bit. You nodded in return and Hyewon's smile seemed to grow wider. The university you applied to was quite well known for its theatre arts course. "That's so cool, I'm a theatre major too!"
Your eyes lit up in excitement and you stepped closer to the blonde, eager to learn more about her. But before you could ask her anything, your phone chimed. You gave her an apologetic look before checking your phone. "It's my mom, she's asking when I'll be home. I still have to pack up," you said disappointed. You really wanted to talk more with Hyewon so the both of you could geek out. (And spend a bit more time with Heeseung.) Hyewon looked disappointed too that you couldn't stay longer.
"Let me drive you home," Heeseung started to move to get his keys but you placed your hand on his arm to stop him.
"Nah, it's fine," you shook your head. "I can take the bus home."
"Then I'll walk you to the bus stop," Heeseung said with determination. He was gonna make use of whatever time he had to spend it with you, even if it was for five seconds.
You realised that there was no way of rejecting him, so you just chuckled and said, "Alright, let me grab my bag then." But Heeseung was already one step ahead of you as he had already gone to get it for you. You sent another smile to Hyewon. "It was really great to meet you, Hyewon. I hope we can talk again soon," you told her.
"Likewise Y/N, have a safe trip home," she bid you goodbye before returning to her room.
Heeseung appeared behind you once again, sneakily slipped his fingers through yours and pulled you out of the room. He locked the door with your bag on his shoulder, he looked like he had the intention of not letting you hold it.
"C'mon," he tugged your hand and you giggled, falling into step with him.
The walk to the bus stop felt quicker than it should be, much to your dismay. The bus stop was empty besides the both of you. As the two of you stood under it, you mindlessly swung your intertwined hands back and forth. Heeseung laughed at your action. He released your hand and you looked up curious on why he did it. Heeseung moved so he was standing behind you and wrapped his arms around you, effectively back hugging you.
Your lips tugged upward at the position you were and you held onto his arms. Slowly, he started to rock you back and forth. "I'm gonna miss you," he suddenly said.
You couldn't help but let your smile falter. You were gonna miss him too, you're gonna miss him so much. "This is the first time where we'll be so far apart, I think I might die without you," he rubbed his face into your hair as you laughed at his words.
"I'll call you everyday, Hee. I promised," you assured him with a pat on his arm. The taller boy only hummed in reply but you felt him move his arms to your middle so he could bury his face in the crook of your neck. You giggled when you felt him peppered small kisses up around your neck.
"I love you," he mumbled before pressing a loving kiss to the top of your head.
"Love you too," you leaned back into him.
Just in time you saw the bus in the distance, which meant your time with Heeseung was ending. As the bus slowed down in front of you, your boyfriend finally reluctantly let you go from his slip. "I'll see you soon, okay?" you promised him. He nodded and leaned down to give you one more kiss before you entered the bus.
Sitting down, you waved from the window and he gave you a smile. Oh god, you already missed him. Heeseung watched as your bus left the station. You sighed, leaning back into the seat. This was the beginning of a new chapter of your relationship, and you have faith that the both of you will be okay.
"Thank you," you said to the barista as she handed you your coffee. With your free hand, you pushed the front door open. The November breeze welcomed you once you stepped outside, your coffee warming your fingertips. Your phone then started to ring in your pocket. You fished your phone out and a smile crept onto your face when you saw the contact name.
"Hello, love," Heeseung greeted as soon as you picked up. You smiled at him, holding your phone in front of your face.
"Good morning, Hee. I just got my coffee," you showed him your coffee like it was a little trinket. Heeseung laughed at your child-like action. The second semester was almost ending and your relationship was still going strong. The both of you were consistent with the video calls and text messages. You'd be calling him at the end of every day and the two of you would talk about your day till one of you fell asleep. (Spoiler: It was usually you.)
And now your second semester as a couple is ending, the both of you had decided to retreat back to your hometown during the break like you did during your first break. So you could bask in each other's presence and visit some old friends. It was slowly starting to become a tradition and you couldn't ask for anything more.
"So, how was your audition?" Heeseung asked as you walked past a group of band kids, sending them a smile as they waved at you.
At the mention of the audition, your smile turned into a pout. "Rejected, as usual," you sighed. You have auditioned for almost every play in your school but you were always rejected or chosen as a background character if you were lucky. You knew that there were a lot of talented students in your school, but you felt dejected each time.
"Sorry, love. I'm sure you'll have better luck next time," Heeseung told you with a sad smile. "I wish I could hold you right now."
You looked at him with a sad gaze, "Me too, Hee." You couldn't lie that long distance relationships were hard, everyday was spent through a screen and you yearned to be next with him physically. During the first few weeks, you told yourself that you would get used to it after a while. Spoiler alert, you still haven't gotten used to it. "But enough of that!" You said, waving away the depressed aura and taking a long sip from your coffee before letting out a sigh. "Our break is coming up and I can't wait to see you."
At the mention of the break, you noticed how Heeseung visibly flinched. His eyes suddenly weren't looking at you anymore, averting his gaze to the side instead. "We are going to be seeing each other, right?" You inquired. But you were met with silence, you stopped in your tracks when Heeseung didn't say anything. "Hee?"
"Actually, Y/N," he started to say and you felt your heart sink already. He didn't call you "love". Some may say you were being dramatic, but Heeseung only used your name whenever something was serious. You're not going to be able to see him during break, your mind told you. You knew it was the most possible outcome, but you hoped that you were wrong.
"I'm not going back during break."
And there it was, what possibly could have been the worse news for you. "Oh," was all you could say, your fingers tightened slightly around the plastic cup before you plastered on a fake smile. "Well, there's always next semester," you assured him, but it felt more like you were reassuring yourself. This was going to be your first winter break without Heeseung.
Heeseung smiled at your reply, a twinge of sadness in him but he brushed it off. "The reason is cause a senior from the film department asked me for help," he explained. "You see, there's a music video competition and he asked me if I could write a song for it."
Your eyes lit up in excitement. "No way! So they're gonna shoot a music video for your song?"
Heeseung nodded with a big smile. "Yup! It's such a big project, like they're bringing in some of the theatre kids as the actors and we're gonna start filming, like next month."
"I'm so happy for you, love," you told him truthfully. Internally, you were scolding yourself for feeling sad that he wouldn't be free during the break when he has something big going on in his life. Stop being so selfish, your mind scolded. Of course you felt a bit blue but this was a big opportunity for Heeseung, imagine if they won the competition. He would finally get some recognition for his music. And the fact that the senior chose him to write the song meant that people were already starting to appreciate his songs and his voice. You were being selfish, like a child.
As Heeseung continued to tell you about the project, you resumed your walk back to your dorms. You listened to him intensively, capturing every small detail in your heart. It was rare for you to see him speak so passionate. Music was his passion, his safe place. You knew that and you wanted him to live a life where he could make his dream a reality. A singer on the bright stage with thousands, no, millions of fans to appreciate his vocals.
You managed to reach your dorm just as Heeseung was being called for off screen. A feminine voice was calling from him and you easily recognised it. "Is that Hyewon?" You asked.
A few seconds passed and a familiar looking pretty blonde came into view. "Y/N? Y/N, hi!" The blonde waved at you enthusiastically, Heeseung was slowly being pushed out of the frame. You could tell he was scooting over to make space for Hyewon. An uneasy feeling slowly sprouted in you when you saw how Hyewon and Heeseung were sitting too close, but you shoved it down when the blonde girl grinned at you.
"Y/N!"
"Hyewon!" You responded with the same enthusiasm, which made the two of you burst into a fit of giggles.
"I'm so sorry for disturbing your time but Chan is looking for you," she apologised, the last part directed to your boyfriend.
"Ah, it's okay, I understand," you said.
"I'll talk to you later, okay? Love you," Heeseung said once Hyewon was out of frame.
"Love you too," you replied and your phone screen turned black, your reflection staring right back at you. You were frowning. With a sigh, you stuffed your phone back into your phone pocket to unlock your front door. Your coffee was now cold in your hands and the uneasy feeling from before was slowly creeping back in. You did not like it one bit.
Chaeryeong and Ryujin thought you were being dramatic, they were right in a way. But you were too busy missing Heeseung to be bothered. You missed his warmth, his voice, the way his hands perfectly fit yours when he held them. you missed the way you laid your head on his chest when he sat behind you, you could always hear his steady heartbeat. It always lulled you to sleep in seconds.
You let out a long and loud sigh as you flipped onto your back on your childhood bed. You had returned to your hometown one week ago, which also meant another week without Heeseung. Your best friend and roommate, Chaeryeong, was the one who drove you both home. The last time you saw her was when she dropped you off at your parents home. And you've been dwelling in your Heeseung-less days ever since.
Reaching over to retrieve your phone, you moved to open your chat with Heeseung. The last text message from him was from this morning. It was just a simple "good morning" text, and you replied with the same message except you added a heart emoticon at the end. And the message was on delivered. Not even on read. You don't know which one was worse.
Your phone suddenly dinged and you immediately sat up straight, thinking it was Heeseung. But your shoulders sagged in disappointment when you saw it was just a message from Jeongin. If Ryujin had seen you right now, the short hair girl would have called you a "lovesick fool". She was right, of course but still.
[2:42 pm] jeongin: guess what
[2:44 pm] chenle: what
[2:44 pm] jeongin: guess
[2:45 pm] chenle: no
[2:45 pm] chenle: just tell us
[2:46 pm] jeongin: g u e s s
[2:46 pm] chenle: n o
[2:46 pm] jeongin: guess goddammit
[2:48 pm] ryujin: jeongin i stg
[2:48 pm] ryujin: i will break ur kneecaps just tell us
[2:49 pm] jeongin: ugh fine theres a amusement park and i wanna go
[2:50 pm] chenle: its winter
[2:50 pm] jeongin: yeah and
[2:50 pm] jeongin: is there snow? no
[2:51 pm] jeongin: so therefore, amusement park
[2:51 pm] ryujin: i-
[2:52 pm] chaeryeong: where is it
[2:52 pm] jeongin: its like a 2 hours away from here
[2:54 pm] ryujin: and who tf would be driving us genius
[2:55 pm] jeongin: y/n bc she loves us
[2:56 pm] y/n: since when
[2:56 pm] chaeryeong: and shes alive, great job jeongin
[2:57 pm] chaeryeong: u pulled her out from her depression
i[2:58 pm] y/n: hey im not depressed >:(
[2:59 pm] ryujin: hm sure
[2:59 pm] y/n: >:(
[3:00 pm] y/n: also i dont have my drivers license yet dumbass
[3:01 pm] jeongin: ah right i also forgot y/n cant drive
[3:01 pm] jeongin: ryujin it is
[3:02 pm] ryujin: whAT I DID NOT AGREE TO THIS
[3:03 pm] chaeryeong: lets meet up at jeongin's place then
[3:03 pm] chenle: cool with me
[3:05 pm] ryujin: HEY DONT IGNORE ME
[3:04 pm] y/n: sure!
You stifled a laugh as you read Ryujin's message. Then, you switched to check your chat between Heeseung and you. It was still on delivered. Maybe he's just busy with filming and recording. Yeah, he's probably busy. Stop being so selfish, Y/N.
Yang Jeongin just had to choose the coldest day of the year to go to the amusement park, didn't he. You silently thanked yourself for dressing up in an extra layer, unlike Chenle who looked like he was about to die from frostbite. Whereas Jeongin had a huge grin plastered on his face as he looked at the Ferris Wheel ahead. You rubbed your hands together, bringing it to your mouth to blow hot air at it. You heard the car door slam shut behind you and Ryujin walked next to you.
Families lined up at the ticket booth, laughter and chatter filled the atmosphere. You spot some couples around the area as well, the sight of them tugged at your heartstrings. You wished Heeseung was here with you, he would've wanted to go on the Ferris Wheel with you.
Chaeryeong linked arms with you and Ryujin, leading the two of you to the entrance. The boys already beat you guys to it, you realised. Once Chenle handed you your ticket, you were immediately dragged to the first ride that caught Jeongin's eye.
After a couple of hours, you found yourself resting on the bench with a cup of hot chocolate at your side. Your social battery was empty and you didn't know where the rest of your friends had gone. Ryujin may have mentioned going to the restroom, you're not sure, you were too tired to keep up. So here you were, on the bench next to the Teacups Ride.
You watched as the visitors walked past you. Some were students with their friends laughing as if it was their last day on earth, children giggling as their parents lifted them up in the air and couples sharing a loving look. You fiddle with your phone, debating whether you wanted to text Heeseung or not.
The both of you had called each other last night. You couldn't see him but his voice sounded tired. You felt bad for calling him. Maybe it was for the best if you didn't. You picked up your hot chocolate, the warmth spreading through your fingers as you blew on it. Your body relaxed once you took a sip, enjoying as the warmth spread through your body. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed a very familiar looking coat.
You saw a couple walking together, he was wearing a coat that looked identical to the one you gifted Heeseung last year during Christmas. It was almost as if that was Heeseung, well his back kinda looked like his and Heeseung was about that height as well. But it couldn't be him, his school was almost three hours away from here. Plus the girl beside him was blonde, she kinda looked like Hyewon.
What are the odds of those two being here, you laughed. But when those two stopped in their tracks to look at the Ferris Wheel, your entire body froze right there and then. That was Heeseung and Hyewon together. What were they doing here?
Your body reacted immediately by standing up. Heart beating rapidly, you were about to walk towards them when you saw Heeseung laughing at something the blonde said. A gnawing feeling grew in you, he was laughing with her. He was at the amusement park with her. Not you. Her.
And he never mentioned anything about going to the amusement park, let alone the same one you were going to. Your feet stayed glued to the ground as you watched them get into one of the carts. Why was he here? Why didn't he tell you? Why was he with her? Why? Why? Why?
You saw Hyewon stopped from getting into the cart and she stretched her hand out while she looked up in the sky, Heeseung following her. It was snowing. It was the first snow. And Heeseung spent it with Hyewon, while you watched from the sidelines. They looked like an actual couple. Snow started to fall, your hot chocolate was losing its warmth and jealousy filled up instead. The noise drilled out of your ear so all you heard was a low buzz, your gaze burning on the two. You didn't notice Ryujin walking towards you.
"Jesus, the line was so long that I-" Ryujin stopped mid sentence, her eyes following the direction of your gaze. "Y/N?"
You walked past her without saying anything, chucking the drink into a trashcan.
Your phone felt heavy in your hands as you paced around your room. You knew your eyes weren't wrong. It was Heeseung and Hyewon at the amusement park, you could tell it was him from a mile away. After that incident, you went to find your friends and told them you wanted to go home because you weren't feeling well. It was partially a lie anyway, you didn't feel comfortable. You don't know what you would do if you had stumbled upon them.
Thousands of questions echoed through your mind. And you couldn't bear to ask Heeseung. You knew you had questions but you didn't know what to ask. Why didn't you tell me? Why were you with Hyewon? Why wouldn't you tell me?
Your phone suddenly rang, causing you to jolt in surprise. The phone screen lit up with his name in bold. He was calling you. Without thinking, you accepted the call.
"Hey, love," Heeseung's smooth voice greeted you.
"Hey," you replied, making sure your tone was steady. You were silently grateful that it wasn't a video-call so he couldn't see the nervousness in your eyes.
"How was the amusement park?" He asked.
You bit your thumb, hesitant to answer. Should you tell him that you saw him today? "It was fun, a lot of people thought," you hummed, moving over to sit on your bed.
"You know, funny story. Today we actually went to an amusement park too," he suddenly said and you froze on the spot. "They decided to film there so we went there in the afternoon, it started snowing too!"
You felt a weight was lifted from your heart. So it was just a pure coincidence. Heeseung never planned to go to the amusement park, he just went with what they said. "It would've been funny if we bumped into each other, don't you think, love?" He laughed but you couldn't find the energy to laugh along.
"Yeah," you mumbled, leaning back into your pillows. He was there to film for the music video. He's busy with the music video. It's always for the music video. You trust Heeseung, don't you?
Winter break went by like the cold breeze and now cherry pink flowers occupied the empty branches. Flowers were blooming from the left and right, the cold winter was now in the past and you welcomed (the still cold) spring into your arms. Which meant you left whatever uneasy feeling and doubts in the past.
You were currently in Heeseung's dorm. Today was a big day, it's the day where they were gonna upload the music video and Heeseung wanted you to be there to watch it with him. Heeseung picked you up from the bus stop and then took you out for lunch. Thankfully it was the weekend so you could stay for the night.
Heeseung was at his desk, his thumbs typing away as he laughed silently at his phone. You wondered who he was texting. Maybe he's texting Hyewon, your mind taunted. You shook your head to drive the thoughts away, you were not going to be paranoid. You already left the bitter feelings in winter, you agreed with yourself that you'll leave it behind. You trust Heeseung.
"Who are you texting?" Yet the question slipped out of you either way.
"Huh?" Heeseung looked up, like a deer caught in headlights. "Oh, uh no one," he quickly said, turning off his phone and placing it on his desk. "I think the music video is uploaded," he added before you could question him more.
He moved to his bed, where you were sitting. You scooted over to make space for him as he sat next to you with his laptop propped on his lap. He clicked into his senior's channel, Jeong Yunho, you took note. And there it was, the music video, uploaded forty five seconds ago. You let out an excited noise once you saw it.
"Not for sale," you read the title out loud. Heeseung had a proud look on.
The music video started off with a frame of Heeseung and Hyewon facing each other, then he handed her a note with the words "Not For Sale" on it. The camera then panned out to film the sky where the title appeared again in bold, and the song started to play. The song had a bubbly beat to it and Heeseung's angelic voice accompanied it. The music video was filled with pastels and some scenes were filmed at the amusement park. Specifically, at the carousel. There weren't any scenes of the Ferris Wheel though, you noted.
The video ended with Heeseung and Hyewon holding hands as they face the sunset, while the camera slowly zooms away from them and into the sky. The last scene was a black screen with all the credits listed out. When you saw Heeseung's name being credited for writing the song, you felt a sense of pride inside of you. Your boyfriend wrote this song, of course you're going to be proud.
Once the video ended, you threw your arms around Heeseung. Heeseung laughed as he wrapped an arm around your middle and the other holding onto his laptop. You planted a big fat kiss on his cheek and he tightened his hold on you.
"The song was so good, Hee! I'm so proud of you, babe," you complimented him, one hand reaching up to ruffle his hair while the other cupped his cheek.
Heeseung smiled and leaned into your touch. "Thank you so much, lovely. This song means a lot to me," he kissed your nose. "I actually thought of you when I wrote this song," he confessed.
You blinked at him, your heart beating faster as you processed his words. You were kneeling on his bed as he looked up at you, pink dusted on his cheeks. Instead of saying anything, you threw yourself onto him, tightly wrapping your arms around his torso to buried your head in his neck. Heeseung let out an "oof" when you knocked him back onto his bed, his laptop on the edge of his bed.
"I love you," you mumbled.
"I love you, too," he said. His hand reached up to stroke your head as the both of you laid there in each other's embrace.
A few minutes passed and Heeseung tapped on your head to get your attention. "Hm?" you hummed in reply.
"I need to go pee, love."
"No," you said stubbornly, tightening your arms around him.
"Please, love. I'll be back fast, I promise," Heeseung told you, looking down on you.
You lifted your head to rest your chin on his chest as you narrowed your eyes at him. "Hng, fine," you pouted before you rolled off him.
"Thank you, lovely," he pecked your lips before pushing himself off his bed, not before moving his laptop to his desk.
You watched as Heeseung left his dorm to go to the restroom. You stretched your arms upwards, making grabby hands in the air before sitting up. You reached over to his desk, which was next to the bed, to get your phone when you saw Heeseung's phone lit up. You knew you shouldn't have looked but when her name was in bold white, you couldn't look away.
[4:47 pm] hyewon: can't wait to do it again hee!
"Can't wait to do it again?" You read the message out loud. Can't wait to do what again? And since when did Hyewon called him "Hee"? That was your nickname for him. The bitter feelings from winter crept back into you like the cold seeping in through the crack of your window. Why did you feel so uneasy whenever Hyewon was alone with Heeseung? Was there something going on?
No, they're just friends, Y/N, you reminded yourself. Just friends.
The door opened and your eyes snapped up to see Heeseung returning from the restroom. Suddenly, you wanted to get out of here. You don't know why, but that text message from her just rubbed you the wrong way and you wanted to get out of there before you say something you regret.
"Ryujin just texted me that she needs my help," you lied. You stood up to grab your coat and bag from the chair.
"Woah, woah, what's with the hurry?" Heeseung took a hold of your wrist as he looked at you. But your eyes didn't meet his.
"Ryujin has an emergency, she needs my help," you said again, this time firmly.
"Oh," his grip on you loosened and you pulled your hand back to you. "I'll drive you back-"
"No, it's fine," you cut him off. "I-I'll take the bus home. I'll call you tonight," the words rushed out of your lips and soon enough you were out of his door.
You did not call him that night.
You ignored Ryujin's questions when you reached your dorm, she didn't press on. Now it was Sunday morning and Ryujin had left for breakfast. You felt bad for leaving Heeseung like that and ignoring Ryujin when she just wanted to help you. And you knew you should've talked it out instead of walking out. Sighing, you curled deeper into your blanket.
After a few minutes, you threw your covers off and sat up. Maybe some warm breakfast would make you feel better. So you went down to the cafeteria to see your friends all huddled up at the corner.
"Y/N, just in time!" Jeongin called out. Curious, you walked towards them and saw that they were watching Heeseung's music video.
"The song is so sweet," Chaeryeong cooed, leaning onto you.
You let out an awkward laugh, not quite sure what to feel because of the act you pulled yesterday.
"It has almost two thousand views. I bet you must feel so proud, huh," Chaeryeong said.
You bit the inside of your cheek as you nodded. Now you feel even more bad, Heeseung wrote this song for you and you should've stayed at his dorm to celebrate with him. Instead, you left because you saw one text message without context. You were being a bad girlfriend, you should apologise to him.
"Who's the other girl? She's really pretty," Jeongin suddenly asked.
"Ah, that's Hyewon. She's his neighbour," you explained.
"Hyewon? As in Kang Hyewon?" Daehwii suddenly said. He was passing by when he heard you say her name and pulled a chair across Jeongin. You nodded. "Oh, I know her," he casually said.
You tilted your head to the side. "You do?" Jeongin leaned forward. You heard Ryujin mumble "simp" under her breath, and you bit back a laugh.
"Mhmm," Daehwii nodded and pulled out his phone. A few seconds later, he showed his phone screen and it was Hyewon's Instagram. "I went to the same high school with her, she was really popular. All the teachers said she had the face of an actress. There was a rumour that she even got scouted by an entertainment company."
Ryujin reached over to grab his phone to scroll through her account. "Woah, she has like two hundred thousand followers," she said in amazement. You leaned closer to Ryujin to check, Hyewon sure was popular.
"Yeah, she's a free-lance model and I think she models for smaller brands," Daehwii added.
You couldn't help but feel very small next to her. She was beautiful and she had somewhat of a reputation in the entertainment industry, a rising model. Imagine what kind of connections she could get for Heeseung…
"I bet Heeseung wrote this song for you," Ryujin suddenly said, smoothly switching the topic back to the song.
You felt your cheeks to warm up at her words. Sheepishly, you nodded. Your friends immediately reacted with a chorus of "ooh"s and Chaeryeong playfully nudged your shoulder. "Fuck Romeo and Juliet, I want what these bitches have," Jeongin quoted and the rest of you fell into laughter.
After breakfast, you and Ryujin strolled back to your rooms with your arms linked together. She was telling you about what happened when you weren't here yesterday. "And then he said and I quote "sometimes bullying is okay" just as a family was walking by, the mom was literally glaring at us," you laughed as she told you. "And then- oh," she stopped, and you stopped as well. She was looking ahead of you so you followed her gaze.
"Heeseung?" His name left your lips before you could even process the whole situation.
Heeseung waved awkwardly at you, internally wincing when you used his full name. You and Ryujin exchanged a look before Ryujin pushed you towards him. You stumbled right into his arms but you took a step out of his arms, you rubbed your forearms instead.
"What are you doing here?" You asked him.
"Ah," he rubbed the back of his neck, "I wanted to surprise you since you left early yesterday. I hope you were able to solve Ryujin's problem."
At the mention of Ryujin's "emergency", you stiffened because you didn't mention that you had used her in a lie. You could feel her eyes on you and mentally hope that she got the message.
"Uh, yeah. It was solved," Ryujin replied with an awkward chuckle. "Actually, I forgot I had to meet up with Chaeryeong so it was great seeing you, Heeseung." You turned around and mouthed a "thank you" at her and she gave you a look as if to say "we are going to talk about this later".
And then the two of you were left alone in the empty hallway. Was it always this awkward?
Heeseung stood awkwardly in your room. This was the first time he looked so out of place. Usually, you were the one at his dorm. He doesn't come over to yours that often since he was more busy than you. So it truly was a surprise when you saw him outside your door.
"So, uh, how are you?" He asked.
You hummed in reply. "I'm doing fine," as you sat down on your bed.
"Great! That's great," he coughed while he played with his fingers.
And then the awkward silence returns. You knew it was your fault for walking out yesterday, you probably made him think he did something wrong. When really it was just you refusing to communicate. You gripped your sheets, your mind running laps on what to say. But he beat you to it.
"Did I do something wrong?"
Your eyes snapped up to finally meet his eyes, he was looking at you with brown innocent eyes. Your heart broke a bit at the sight. "It's not you," you assured him. "It's…it's just me," you told him truthfully.
Heeseung looked at you with confusion, he didn't understand what was wrong. He wanted to help but he didn't know how. So instead, he slowly moved to sit next to you. When you did not move away, he took it as a sign of permission. So he took your hands into his, slowly rubbing circles on top of your hand.
"I'm sorry," you whispered.
"Love, what are you even sorry about?" He softly asked.
"I saw you at the amusement park that day," you confessed.
Heeseung's fingers stopped moving. "Oh," was all he could say. You bit the inside of your cheek, the atmosphere shifted but you can't read him at all.
"I'm sorry," you whispered again because you didn't know what to say. "Ever since that day, I've been feeling weird whenever I see you with Hyewon and I don't like it."
"Love," he softly cupped your cheek to make you look at him, "are you perhaps jealous?" he asked with a teasing tone. You shifted your gaze to the side, you were jealous but you were reluctant to admit it. But your avoiding eyes already sold you out. Heeseung chuckled and brought you into his embrace. "There's nothing to be jealous of. Hyewon and I are just friends," he assured you.
His voice was genuine when he told you and you felt a sense of relief hearing him say those words. You fell forward to hug him and Heeseung immediately accepted you. He planted a kiss on the top of your head and sighed. "Next time we're gonna be honest with each other, okay?"
"Okay."
Heeseung was right, honesty was the key to maintaining a healthy relationship, Heeseung has been nothing but truthful to you since the start, and you allowed yourself to be overwhelmed by your insecurities instead of talking it out. This reminded you of when Heeseung once shut you out because he didn't want to burden you.
He hid his passion for music from you because he thought you would react like his parents, against him. He refused to tell you the truth which left you confused and hurt. Did I do something wrong? The question was constantly in your head. It wasn't until you forced it out of him, and it was the first time you saw his composed figure break down in tears. You embraced him and assured him with comforting words, you loved him at his worst.
And you told him the exact same words: "Next time we're gonna be honest with each other, okay?"
Exam season was the most painful time of your life. Everyday was the same routine: wake up, eat, study, sleep and repeat. You're starting to spend more time in the library than in the comfort of the dorm. Heeseung was just as busy as you, the both of you rarely have enough time to check up on each other. But you tried and so did he.
You plucked out your earphones and let it fall into your lap as you stretched your arms upwards. Chaeryeong and Ryujin were scattered around your shared room, with the latter laying face down on her bed. The three of you had spent your entire morning studying for your own examinations. You had sent Heeseung a quick good morning text before telling him that your phone will be on silent mode until you were done.
That was six hours ago. You pushed your laptop away from you as you reached over for your phone. You smiled when you saw your first notification was from your boyfriend.
[8:15 am] hee <3: okay remember to stay hydrated love! and take some breaks in between!!!
"Look at her, smiling all lovey dovey and shit," Ryujin sneered at you in disgust as she lifted herself onto her elbows.
You stuck your tongue out at her before typing a reply.
[3:52 pm] y/n: guess who's done studying??
While waiting for his reply, you decided to scroll through Instagram. Tapping through people's stories, you stumbled upon Hyewon's one. (She had followed you a few weeks ago.) Your thumb pressed down on your phone screen as your breath hitched. It was a photo of Heeseung, it looked like he was in the library and he was reading a book. The words "with mr. hardworking" positioned above his head. You tapped through to the next slide and it was a candid of Heeseung looking up at her with a smile, his hand outreached to grab her phone. This time the words "oops, got caught" were written on the side. You checked and saw it was posted ten minutes okay.
You frowned at the two photos. You knew Heeseung said they were just friends, but you couldn't shake that uneasy feeling away. Your mind was telling you that they weren't but your heart was with Heeseung.
"Who's that?" Chaeryeong suddenly asked.
You jump, startled. Since when was she behind you? Chaeryeong ignored your expression and leaned towards your phone. "Isn't that Heeseung? Who's he with?" She asked.
"Hyewon," you answered.
Ryujin crawled over to plop down next to you, her curious eyes peering up at your phone. "The same girl we saw at the amusement park?" The short-haired girl asked.
You looked down at her, shocked. You never told her about what you saw last winter. Ryujin understood your expression and rolled her eyes. "I'm not dumb, Y/N," she said.
Chaeryeong looked between the two of you with confusion. "Did something happen when we were at the amusement park?"
"Y/N saw Heeseung and Hyewon getting on the Ferris Wheel together."
"Ryujin!"
"What?" She shrugged at you. "We did see them there and it was the reason you were upset," she stated with her arms crossed, now sitting crossed legged next to you.
Chaeryeong gasped beside you and placed her hands in front of her mouth. "Do you think he's cheating on you?"
"Chaeryeong!" Ryujin hissed at the other girl. "Heeseung isn't the kind to do that," she defended him despite what she said before, "right, Y/N?" Ryujin nudged your elbow.
You opened your mouth to defend your boyfriend but no words were said. You bit your lips, Heeseung wouldn't be the kind to cheat, right? Then why were you hesitating? You wanted to agree with Ryujin and say that Heeseung would never cheat on you. So why were you doubting him?
"I'm just saying, long distance relationships never work out. Like Yeji and Soobin, they broke up like six months later," Chaeryeong shrugged innocently and leaned back on her hands as she spoke.
"But that was different, Yeji never really liked him anyways!" Ryujin countered.
"Vivi and Haseul! Everyone thought they were gonna last but they broke up the moment Vivi went home, and they were together for four years. Four years, Ryujin!" The younger girl exclaimed. "Point is, long distance relationships rarely work out."
Before Ryujin could retort, your phone lit up and all three of you looked down. It was a notification from Heeseung.
[4:01 pm] hee <3: hey sorry i was with taehyun
The three of you blinked at the message, Ryujin and Chaeryeong exchanged a look. While you just stared at the notification, refusing to tap into the chat. Did Heeseung just lie to you?
Something shifted in your relationship, you could tell. Calls with Heeseung were now cut short and text messages got short. At first, you blamed it on the upcoming exams and you told yourself that Heeseung was equally busy as you. Sometimes you were too tired to send a text because all you wanted was to sleep but when you tried to give him a call, he always brushed you off with a "I'm busy" text.
Text messages now never got past the "how was your day" before he said that he was going to sleep. Ever since that day with Ryujin and Chaeryeong, you turned a blind eye to the text message. Maybe he really was with Taehyun, you wouldn't actually know.
But that's the thing, isn't it? You would never know what really happens because you're not there with him, your mind taunted you. You shook away the thoughts and tried to be positive. Exams had ended a few days ago and Chaeryeong suggested that you should surprise him with a visit.
So here you were, on the bus to Heeseung's university. You could barely contain your smile, it's been so long since you last saw him and you just missed him so much. You could imagine how happy he would be to see you. An hour later, the bus came to a stop and you thanked the bus driver before boarding off.
Tightening your coat around you, you looked at the road ahead of you with a determined look. You were gonna surprise Heeseung today. And nothing was going to stop you from doing so. You reached the entrance of the school and sent a friendly smile to the security guards.
You made your way towards Heeseung's dorm, your feet have walked this path multiple times. You were familiar with these hallways. Soon enough you reached his door, you patted your clothes and fixed your hair before raising your fist. Your hand hovered in front of the wooden door, Heeseung was one door away from you. Knocking precisely three times on the door, you took a step back and clasped your hands behind you. You couldn't wait to see his smile when he sees you.
"Surprise!" You said, doing jazz hands the moment the door opened.
"Y/N? What are you doing here?" Heeseung asked you.
You blinked, slightly lowering your hands. Heeseung wasn't smiling at you like you thought he would be, instead he was looking down on you with furrowed eyebrows. His hair was dishevelled, like he ran his fingers through it multiple times and he wasn't opening the door fully, like he was blocking something.
"I was going to surprise you, since exams are over and all-"
"Why didn't you text me beforehand?" He cut you off.
You narrowed your eyes at him and crossed your arms, annoyed that he was questioning you instead of being happy to see you. "Because it was a surprise, Hee, that's the whole point. I wasn't supposed to tell you, surprises don't work like that."
Heeseung opened his mouth but cut himself off with a sigh, he turned his head around to look inside then back at you. "I didn't mean it that way, I just wished you would've told me before," he repeated with a softer tone this time.
You frowned and dropped your arms, you shouldn't have listened to Chaeryeong. Maybe you should leave, the next bus would be in two hours. Heeseung was still leaning against his door, you couldn't see past him. "Whatever, I'll leave then," you mumbled and waved him off, turning on your heel to walk away.
"Y/N! Wait!" Heeseung called after you but you ignored his calls and just continued forward. The taller boy caught up with you and grabbed your wrist.
You tried to shake him off but his hold on you was strong. "Let me go," you said through gritted teeth.
"No, you're mad," he said.
"Of course, I am! I wanted to surprise my boyfriend after not seeing him for weeks but he doesn't even look happy to see me!" You sneered at him, still trying to shake his hand off your wrist.
Heeseung's hands moved to hold your shoulders instead to keep you in place, forcing you to look at him. "Hey, I didn't say I wasn't happy to see you. I am happy to see you, okay? It's just that today's a busy day, love," he explained to you softly.
You stopped squirming and sighed. "Sorry, I just…I just really missed you okay," you told him. You overreacted and got mad at him without letting him explain himself. "Sorry," you said again.
Heeseung smiled warmly at you and pulled you into a hug. "It's okay, love," he planted a kiss on top of your head. You rested your chin on his shoulder and returned the hug.
Then, you watched as a certain blonde walked out of Heeseung's room. Hyewon stepped out of his room and waved at you with a smile. Was Heeseung hiding her? You slightly pushed Heeseung away and he took a step back in confusion. He turned around to see Hyewon and then back at you.
"Hyewon and I were working on a project," he quickly explained.
"Yeah," the other girl nodded in agreement. "If I had known you were coming today, I wouldn't have bothered Heeseung," she said.
"Ah, no. I'm sorry for interrupting the two of you," you apologised, slightly ducking your head. You're not sure if you meant the apology. Should you be sorry that you interrupted them? But Heeseung was your boyfriend.
"Well, I'll leave you two be," Hyewon smiled at the both of you before walking away.
You watched as Heeseung smiled at her and how his eyes followed her figure until she disappeared down the stairs. You bit your lower lip and clenched your fist together, feeling uneasy in your chest once again. Your hand reached to tug on his sleeve and he finally looked at you, like he forgot you were there in the first place.
He moved to hold your hand and lead you into his room, not before smiling softly at you. Instead of the usual feeling of butterflies in your stomach whenever he smiled at you, there was a sinking feeling. Because he smiled at Hyewon the same way. Your lips raised a small smile for him but it didn't reach your eyes. He doesn't seem to notice.
The door closed behind the two of you and you swung your arms before clasping your hands behind you. "So, what was Hyewon doing here?" You tried to ask naturally.
Heeseung wasn't looking at you when he replied, "She was here for a project," he hummed.
"What project?" You continued to ask more.
"For school," he simply replied, taking a seat on his bed.
You leaned against his desk while nodding your head. "Ah, so you're helping her?"
"Uh huh."
"Ah, didn't know you guys were this close…"
"Well, we are neighbours so it's just natural that we grew close, you know," he shrugged.
"Close enough to get on the Ferris Wheel with," you muttered under your breath. You thought Heeseung wasn't able to pick up what you said but his eyes snapped to look at you. You gulped, knowing you were caught.
"Love, I already said that we were there for the music video shooting," he told you with a tired sigh.
"I know, I know but I can't help feeling jealous, Hee," you explained yourself.
Your boyfriend sighed exasperatedly as he ran his fingers through his hair. "I already told you that we're just friends, there's nothing to be jealous of."
"Well, you would be jealous too if your boyfriend didn't mention that he was going to the amusement park with you and you found him hanging with another girl!" You scoffed sarcastically.
"I already told you it wasn't planned, Y/N. Why don't you trust me?" His voice was slightly raised when he spoke the last sentence, his expression was begging you to drop the topic.
But your stubborn self refused to let it go and stood up straighter. "Because you're making it really hard to trust you."
"What?" He looked at you in disbelief as he stood up as well. "How am I the one being hard right now? You're just being paranoid and you're letting your insecurities get the better of you!"
"Can you blame me?!" You raised your voice at him. Anger clouded your eyes as you begged him to understand your point of view. "We're so far apart and we rarely get to talk to each other and you're always brushing me off! It's almost like you're cheating on me with Hyewon!"
Heeseung groaned in frustration and dragged his fingers across his face. "How many times do I have to tell you that we're just friends, Y/N? Hyewon literally has nothing to do with this! I don't get why you hate her."
"Cause you talk to her while we're together," you knew that sounded childish and selfish but you were blurting whatever that came to mind.
"Oh, so now I'm not allowed to talk to other girls?" He curled an eyebrow at you while crossing his arms.
Your words were caught in your throat. "I didn't mean it like that-"
"Then what do you mean, Y/N? You never acted like this before," Heeseung rubbed his temples.
"Because!" You threw your hands out in frustration, trying to convey your words out, "I don't know what's happening in your life because we're not in the same school and I'm scared that you're cheating on me with Hyewon!"
Heeseung knitted his eyebrows at you, you don't know if it was from confusion or annoyance, maybe both. "Cheating? No, you just don't trust me! Never once did I doubt your relationship with Jeongin, so why are you doing this to me?"
"Don't bring Jeongin into this," you sneered at him, "you knew Jeongin since we were in high school. Hyewon is a completely different story. You…you look at her like…you're in love," your voice slowly died at the end, it was the final hit on the nail. You looked up at Heeseung, his eyes widened at your words.
They said the eyes are the window to your soul. Brown guilty eyes just stared at you, because you were right. Heeseung couldn't figure out his feelings and you just did it for him. Your boyfriend was falling out of love with you and he was falling for someone new. And you watched as he realised it right in front of you. You swore you heard your heart crack.
He held his head and took a step back from you, silence fell upon the both of you. "I-I think you should go," he managed to say.
"Yeah," you croaked out, your throat was swelling up. You walked past Heeseung in hurried steps and out the door to the stairs. You never saw how Heeseung dropped to his bed with his head in his head as guilty tears slowly rolled down his cheeks.
God, you wished he had thought this through before you went and fell in love with him.
You haven't talked to Heeseung since that day, you knew that your relationship was over but your heart refused to believe it until those words came from Heeseung himself. A dark cloud hung over you and your friends didn't dare to ask. You felt betrayed by him.
You loved him at his worst, but that didn't matter. He gave you his word, but that didn't matter too. You were bitter, angry, devastated, heartbroken. But you couldn't cry, your heart was full of tears yet nothing came out. A single piece of tape holding back your fragile heart. A small sign of hope that you were wrong and Heeseung still loved you.
In the middle of a cold winter day, you were nestled between your warm sheets. Chaeryeong and Ryujin had left for lunch, not before promising to get you something. In the midst of your dark covers, your phone screen lit up and caught your attention.
[2:23 pm ] hee <3: We need to talk, I'm outside your door right now.
What? Your head snapped up to look at your front door. There's no way he was standing outside right now. Gulping, you pushed yourself up and walked to the door. Your hand hesitated, hovering right in front of the silver door knob. You already knew what was coming. Taking a deep breath, you opened the door.
The same brown guilty eyes looked at you, and the little white lies from before all came crashing down at once. You stepped to the side to let him in and closed the door. Your back was facing him, you refused to look at him. Your hope was wavering, you don't know if you accepted it or not.
"I'm sorry," he was the first to break the silence. you still refused to turn around. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
Lies, lies, lies. You shut your eyes closed, your hand was still on the door knob, holding it tightly.
He inhaled a deep breath before saying his next words, "This is the end."
The words pierced your heart and it started to fall apart. This doesn't feel like a break up, it was the end of your story. It was him telling you that he was removing himself from your life. Falling out of love hurts, but losing a friend is the worst.
"Do you still love me?"
"What?"
"Do you still love me?" You finally turned around, your glossy eyes looking right at him.
Without a heartbeat, he said, "No."
And when you were alone again in your room, your heart finally shattered and the tears poured out like a waterfall. You fell to your knees with your hands clutching your heart, ugly sobs escaped from your lips. You were crying out the pain as big fat tears dropped onto the wooden floor,
Chaeryeong and Ryujin nearly dropped the food when they found you broken on the tear stained floor.
Two weeks later (after being forced to get out of bed by Ryujin), you found your friends huddled at the same place of the cafeteria like when the music video was released. They were surrounding Daehwii with their heads ducked, whispering to each other.
"What are you guys doing?" Ryujin's voice caught their attention and their heads lifted to see the both of you, eyes widening at the sight of you.
Everyone exchanged nervous glances whereas you and Ryujin were left confused. You tilted your head to the sign to show that you were confused while Ryujin raised an eyebrow as if demanding an explanation. Chaeryeong shoved Daehwii's shoulder and gave him a look, silently telling him to break the news.
Daehwii nervously looked between you and his phone before sighing, his shoulders dropping. Instead of saying anything, he showed you his phone. Ryujin reached over to take the device from him before you could see anything and squinted her eyes. The short haired girl inhaled a sharp breath and looked at your friends, finally understanding what was happening. She then looked at you, deciding whether she should tell you or not.
"What?" You asked her, your eyebrows furrowed as your patience was running thin. What were they not telling you?
But instead of telling you, she showed you. The phone screen displayed an Instagram post with a person holding hands with someone else. The caption was a simple "with him". At first you were confused on what it had to do with you, then Ryujin tapped on the post to show you the person tagged in the post. Heeseung's username appeared, your eyes travelled up to the owner of the post and it read Hyewon's name.
"Oh," was all you could say.
Your gaze averted down and you don't see how your friends exchange worried glances. "Y/N..." Chaeryeong softly called out to you while she walked towards you. She angled her head to look at your face with her arms around you.
Your mind was a mess, it took him two weeks to find someone new. No, not someone new. It took him two weeks to go off and date her. He talked to her when you were together. And you knew if he truly loved you, there was no damn way he could fall in love with somebody that quickly. Ryujin and Chaeryeong embraced you but you felt numb. He betrayed you. And you knew that he'll never feel sorry for the way you hurt.
"He cheated on you," you heard Jeongin say, but you shook your head as you tried to rub the tears away.
"Guess he didn't cheat but he's still a traitor," Jeongin rephrased.
The girls hugged you tighter when you let out a choked sob. Jeongin was right, he didn't cheat but he was a traitor. You played dumb but you always knew that he'd talk to her, maybe did even worse but you kept quiet so you could keep him.
God you wished that he had thought it through, before you went and fell in love with him.
© chaeryybomb 2021
a/n: this took so long to write and i wrote more than i expected. thank you for waiting and reading this, see y'all in "drivers license"!
#chaeryybomb; the sour series#enhypen#lee heeseung#enhypen imagines#enhypen x reader#lee heeseung imagines#lee heeseung x reader#heeseung#heeseung imagines#heeseung x reader#enhypen angst#lee heeseung angst#heeseung angst#kpop imagines#enhypen scenarios#lee heeseung scenarios#heeseung scenarios
593 notes
·
View notes
Text
Gossip Guy podcast with Willem De Schryver
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYjtRYOGS00
translated by @jackfrostsander @bruisingknees @lblogss @yousmina and me :)
-
E: I do have another present for you.
W: Oei oei oei, presents.
E: I do that every week. I give something to my guest of the week.
W: Oei oei oei. Do I slide it?
E: Here in the front is a flap that you have to fold upwards…
[Intro]
E: Wassup people, welcome to a new episode of the Gossip Guy podcast. My name is Ender Scholtens and today I’m here with Willem De Schryver. Everything ok?
W: Sure sure (In Dutch sure is used as a confirmation to a question).
E: Is this your first podcast?
W: Yes, this is my first podcast.
E: Stress?
W: No, it will be fine, right? Relaxed.
E: I don’t know… (laughing). For the people who don’t recognize you, from where could they know you?
W: Hmmm, probably from the youth series WTFOCK where, in the third season, I play the role of Sander.
E: And we are allowed to talk about it in this podcast.
W: Yeah I also heard that. Yes, it’s over.
E: Was it a difficult chapter of your life to close?
W: Yes, I still clearly remember the last moment… Like really the last last scene at the sea… That was an emotional moment because you went through a lot as a group, you did a lot together, and emotional scenes, intimate scenes. But yes, I think, if I speak for the whole group that it was a goodbye to the series but not a goodbye from each other. We still keep in contact. Mainly through WhatsApp.
E: Yeah, the end of the series was beautiful. I sat next to my girlfriend when it just came online. Because there were a few scenes that we hadn’t seen yet and we were just watching them… And we refreshed and the last episode was online… The last piece was online… So, I thought… I really cried… It caused quite some emotions.
W: For many people… Also under the cast and even the extras that were present for that last scene… Even among them. I can remember that they got emotional because it really was over over. I think that we, WTFOCK, have been able to impact a lot of young people in Belgium. So, it’s beautiful… We closed it beautifully…
E: I don’t doubt that. I really liked the end. What is your favorite memory from your whole WTFOCK experience?
W: Hoh, hmmm. Do I have to choose one? Difficult to choose one… I think that the most enjoyable moments… At the end of each series… Almost… We were at the sea or in the Ardennes, as a group, for a vacation. Away together. And those moments… Away with the whole cast and crew… Being away for a whole weekend. And in the evening, talking late into the night and that creates a special connection and I think that, in general, was the most enjoyable… Yes, it affects me… You share, as a young person, a common dream or something we want to realize as an actor to succeed and everyone who works so hard for that… That’s nice to see.
E: I recently talked to Veerle and I know that if she sees Nora, like somewhere, say at a party… Then they stay together for the whole evening… Do you have that? With who did you have the best connection throughout that whole experience?
W: Yes…
E: That doesn’t mean that the rest is not chill or so…
W: No the rest is all stupid… There’s only one person… I hate you all! (joking) No! Yes, hmmm, I think that I definitely have the best connection with Willem. Just because we have been through a lot… I always compare the WTFOCK crew a bit to my own friend group, aside from the cast. I mean, I know to whom I can go for what. I know I can go to some if I feel sad, to talk and I know who I can go to to have a laugh. And who I can go to to have a general chat. And everyone has their qualities or like their own aura around them… Where I love to hang around. So, it differs from person to person. So, it’s hard to choose one person but Willem then in the sense that, if you jump naked together in a swimming pool and if you have intimate scenes together… That creates a connection, of course. So, yes, if I have to choose one person…
E: Is there a barrier that you have to overcome to play such scenes? Because they are very intimate, indeed. And I, personally, couldn’t imagine… I can’t act… But, to empathize with a role… To play such scenes… Is that difficult for you?
W: Huh, yes, that’s a question I get often. I mean like… Yeah and you have to empathize with that character… But yes, you step into that project with a certain professionalism and you say “okay, we are going to create a story and bring it to the public with certain values and that we want to tell something and show something” …So, yes, you don’t really think about it. So, it’s not like I thought “Ooooo, I am kissing with a boy but I am interested in girls”. That was not a problem for me because it really is about telling the story and making that together and if the story requires that then you just completely go for it.
E: That’s cool. What are your future acting ambitions? You now have played in a series, is that something you want to do more in the future or do you like theatre more or movie or…
W: I find it difficult to choose between theatre and film, for example. After WTFOCK I played in Déjà Vu, which you can see on Streamz and later this year on Channel 4… And I study theatre at KASK. And I notice the difference, due to the recordings, I am really in the field and I am busy and I work, while at school I learn new things about theatre… So, in my opinion I have more experience in television work because I actually have done projects for that and I haven’t yet for theatre, which is still school and learning. So, I think it’s currently hard to choose but I think, maybe it’s a cliché answer, but the combination is maybe ideal, of course. But I am still exploring and I will see how it goes…
7:02
E: What is your favorite food?
W: My favorite food?
E: Yes.
W: Hmmmm, in the past I was really a basic guy… Like spaghetti bolognese or so… But now, generally after my exams, I go to a restaurant with my grandma. She always buys. That’s always amazing. I am a fan. And I always take steak tartare with fries. That remains a bit of a guilty pleasure.
E: How long, do you think, would it take you to eat five full plates of spaghetti bolognese?
W: Hoh, hmmm. The thing is, my stomach is rather small…
E: Small?
W: I think that I would have to schedule in… Okay, after a certain time I would have to throw up and then eating further…
E: You’re allowed to take a break. You’re allowed to say… Okay, I take a few days…
W: No, no, not that…
E: You’re going to do it in a day?
W: Look, two plates… Three if I really push…
E: You get preparation time so you know like a week before… So, you can like…
W: Train yourself?
E: Yes, train…
W: Hoh, alee say about four hours…
E: Four hours?! Five plates, he? Like five really big plates…
W: Yeah but yeah, four minutes… I am exaggerating… Let’s say a day… In a day five plates…
E: Ok, that should work. Then you basically have every meal… Breakfast… Lunch… Dinner… and in between… pasta…
W: Pasta as breakfast…
E: One day should definitely be feasible.
W: Yes, indeed.
8:49
E: What is, according to you, the reason you were placed on this planet?
W: Fuck (laughs).
E: Existential crisis, okay? Have you never thought about what the purpose of life is and what…
W: Yes, certainly… Hmmm, I'm someone who worries a lot. When I'm in bed in the evening I start to think about questions like that and then I think “what am I doing? Willem… where do I want to go to and…” Hmmm, why was I put on this planet? Hmmmm… (speechless followed by laughing). This is really bad… It’s like I don’t value myself…
E: Noooo, but I didn’t expect a deep philosophical answer. Well, if you had one… really good but…
W: Okay I’m going to think about my philosophical answer… but no. If you want… No! Yes, now I'm really going to sound philosophical but… (crosstalk) Everyone who is on earth has a certain reason to be here and everyone… I for example have that… I really feel that… I never liked going to school. Especially, in lower and high school. I… I actually, on purpose, put my fingers in my throat in the morning to throw up…
E: Wow, that’s heavy…
W: And then going downstairs to say “papa I’m ill, can I stay home?” I don’t know why but that whole system… Sitting behind a desk all day… And those classes… that was not for me. And then I discovered my passion for acting and discovered that it really suited me. And that’s the thing… A lot of people often ask me like “how did you start?” and “I also would like to do that and where do I start and I have been rejected does that mean I am not good enough?” but I think that sometimes you shouldn’t rush to find your passion. It can take longer then you would like it to take. I think that if you too intensively search for "what am I good at?" and “I have to find something that I am good at” and… For me that’s happened unexpectedly. I did take acting classes on Wednesday afternoons after school and I kind of got into it like that… I think it differs for everyone and that everyone has their own purpose here on earth.
E: And would you say your purpose is acting?
W: Yeah…
E: There isn’t a right answer but how does it feel for you at the moment? Is that the thing you love doing the most or do you see yourself doing for a long time?
W: The thing is… I’m a person who gets tired of things very quickly. I’ve had a lot of hobbies.
E: So maybe next week you want to garden or something?
W: No, no I wouldn’t say that. No the thing is, with acting that isn’t the case. Since I was twelve… well first on amateur level…
E: How old are you now?
W: 19.
E: Oh wow I thought you were my age. 19… damn bro you’re three years younger than me.
W: 2001 represent.
E: That’s literally… you’re the same age as my brother! What the shit. Alright, no okay.
W: In November so almost 2002. I’m really a latecomer.
E: What?! You look like you’re the same age as me and everything.
12:14
W: But that’s honestly – thank you for saying that! I always used to be the “little guy.” None of the girls wanted to be with me cause they just thought I was cute.
E: I see.
W: And they came to me to talk about their love lives.
E: Oh, okay.
W: So I was always that guy who was like: “I’m in love with you.” “Oh, how cute! You’re so cute!” So I was always like: “Okay then, I’m never going to find anyone, I’m always going to stay… short. I’ll be all alone.” And then all of a sudden I –
E: Do you think height matters in regard to your chances with certain… people?
W: At this age I don’t think it does anymore, but I do think that – I think at – I just remember in high school that the romantic idea of what love was supposed to look like was very: a boy and a girl, and the boy has to be taller and stronger and bigger than the girl. But I think that now it’s more… I mean, at my age I’m convinced it’s more fluid than that, and it doesn’t have to be that way. So it doesn’t have to be an issue anymore.
E: But still, when you go on Twitter, short guys are still –
W: Yeah.
E: Totally annihilated.
W: I have notice – I have noticed – Yeah, it’s still… It’s still this… general thing that people get stuck on. Like: “Oh, a short dude. That’s not okay.” Or whatever.
E: Or like the guy has to be taller. But no, we’re – we’re – not… not all relationships… we’re really generalizing here. But I get what you mean.
W: Yeah.
E: No, it’s – I do think it’s still important. I think that when you’re, and this is really harsh, but that a lot of people look at you differently when you’re taller. I have this dude in my friend group, Louis Ledegen, and he’s close to 2 meters tall, and just some girls look at him and they just think that’s so… attractive or whatever. And I just can’t even imagine.
W: I don’t get that either.
E: That that makes them go like: “Wow!”
W: I was in the train just now and this dude walked by me and he was honestly like 2 meters tall and I was just thinking: “When you’re that tall, and you’re with…” I mean, the girl almost has to get on a stepping stool to reach him for a kiss! And girls are like – I mean, I’ve heard before that girls think it’s attractive when a man is really tall.
E: Yeah.
W: And yeah, I don’t know… I don’t totally get it.
E: No.
W: Maybe it’s cause I’m not that tall myself, that I’m like trying to protect myself and be all: “That’s not necessary!”
E: Yeah! If anybody knows the answer, do we, being shorter guys, have less of a chance?
W: Let us know, please.
14:53
E: Please let us know! We need some answers! Now in the show, wtFOCK, your hair’s a different color.
W: Yeah.
E: Yeah. Is that something… So that was actually – it wasn’t really blonde?
W: It was completely bleached.
E: Bleached.
W: It was more to the… But the thing is that they had to do it twice, cause the first time… I got there, for the first table read with the director and Willem [Herbots] and they were like: “Hey, Willem. We wanted to ask you something. We’d like to bleach your hair for the role.”
E: Yeah.
W: And I was like: “… Okay.”
E: Okay.
W: “And why?” No. “Just for the character and stuff.” So I was like: “Okay. That’s fine.” The thing is I had to be at the hairdresser for 4 hours for this.
E: Oh wow, heavy.
W: It was like this and this product, and it had to sit for a long time. It had to be bleached all over. And I got out of there the first time and I was completely yellow – but yellow like an egg.
E: Oh, shit!
W: And I… My mom dropped me off, and I texted her: “I’m done, will you come get me?” And I saw my mom approach and she just passed me by.
E: Oh wow.
W: She didn’t – she almost didn’t recognize me anymore. Like halfway - she was like – and then she was like: “Oh! Willem!” Like she hadn’t seen –
E: Oh shit.
W: That it was me. That I looked completely different. And then I arrived for another table read and Tom [Goris – director] was like: “Yeah… We’re not gonna go this route… This is too yellow.” So then I spent another 4 hours at the hairdresser. After that I had to be there for four hours almost every month. I did think it was cool to have bleached hair, but… You have to be at the hairdresser for so long, so that really wasn’t… my thing. I mean, I had some really cool moments with Mitch [Fabry – hair & make up wtFOCK]. Thanks, Mitch.
E: Would you ever dye your hair again?
W: Uhm.
E: Maybe another color?
W: Yeah, I don’t think so. I’m quite happy with my hair color, actually, I don’t know.
E: Alright.
W: Now it’s also like… Everyone always asks me: “So this is your natural hair color?”
E: Yeah.
W: And then I have to tell them: “Yeah.” And it’s like: “Oh, okay!” It’s this switch. But no, I’m happy with my hair. It’s fine.
17:03
E: I can also tell that you’ve got an earring? You can’t really tell on camera, but –
W: I’ll come a little closer [to the camera]. Yeah, I only got it recently, four weeks or something.
E: Yeah. Was it an impulsive, drunken decision, or something you wanted… for some time?
W: I’ve wanted it for a long time, but I was a little anxious about it like: “It’s not gonna look good on me,” and then after a while, a couple of months ago, I was like: “Fuck it, I’m just gonna do it.” And if it didn’t look good I could still just take it out, so it doesn’t really matter. But all in all I was pretty happy with it. My father, my parents – my mom: “Oh, so nice!!” And it was like – at first they give you a stud and then after four weeks you can change it to a hoop. And I really wanted a hoop, and I even asked the people in the (piercing) shop: “Can’t I please just get a hoop straight away?” And they were like: “No, sorry, it doesn’t work like that. For hygiene reasons that’s not okay.”
E: Okay.
W: But okay, so I had to wait four weeks and then eventually I could change it to the golden hoop. So I get home and the first thing my father said was: “Wow, you look like a douchebag.” That was the first thing out of his mouth, that I looked like a douchebag.
E: Is that the look you were going for?
W: No, not at all! Not at all!
E: I think it looks cool.
W: Thanks.
E: Cause a little while ago I wanted one, and so I put on my girlfriend’s earring – because even if your ear isn’t pierced it sticks a little –
W: Yeah.
E: And so I just put it on there for a day or something, and then I was like: “Okay, that’s quite enough.” I don’t know if I’d want it for longer than that. Recently I’ve been getting into rings and stuff though.
W: I wore rings for a long time, but I don’t have any anymore. I actually want – I like them too. But I have to –
18:47
E: If I’d known, I would’ve brought you a gift!
W: Go shopping. Goddamn!
E: I did bring you another gift though!
W: Another gift? Oei oei oei, gifts!
E: This is something I do every week, I give my guest of the week something.
W: Oei oei oei.
E: It’s just…
W: Do I just slide it –
E: There’s a little hatch over here, that you have to lift, and then you can just lift it like that. There we go.
W: There we go.
E: White hairspray.
W: If I’d want to go back to – there we have it. Too good.
E: It can be washed out really easily as well. So this way you don’t have to be at the hairdresser for like four hours. And then when you’re sick of it, you can just get rid of it again!
W: That was the thing… Thank you, by the way.
E: You’re very welcome.
W: Now I can go back – Now I can go back to my past life. No, that was the thing as well. People who – people who - after wtFOCK came online, people really recognized me with the white hair. I mean, it’s pretty noticeable, when I’m walking through Ghent station – if someone with bleached hair. I mean, if you watch the show, I can imagine that when you see someone with bleached hair, you immediately connect the two and think: “Oh, that could be him.” And then you run in to some people who ask for pictures. After that my hair was really short, cause the people from Déja-Vu were like: “We’re not gonna do this, just go back to your natural hair color.” So I cut it all off, and there was this time where… nobody came to talk to me anymore. I was able to just be myself again. It was as if – looking back on it, it was actually really nice that for wtFOCK I was able to completely get into a different character with different hair. And the first time I got rid of the hair I really noticed that was no longer being associated with the character.
E: Hannah Montana vibes! Your hair changes color and nobody knows who you are anymore.
W: “Who are you?”
E: “Who the fuck are you?!”
W: “Does anybody want to take pictures with me? It’s me! It’s me! I swear!”
E: “I’m that dude from wtFOCK! I’m that dude from wtFOCK!”
W: So if people don’t recognize me anymore I can just… *pshhht* in the morning.
E: Exactly! If you want to take some more pictures, you can just…
W: No, no. That’s fine. No, yeah.
E: It’s kind of crazy, actually. Because, honestly? The very first time I saw a flash of you, with this hair color, I also thought: “I recognize you from somewhere…” But I think I’d already gotten in contact with you through social [media] and I didn’t put two and two together that you…
W: Yeah.
E: “Aaah!”
W: “Aaah! You’re that guy!”
E: Yeah, so…
W: But that’s the whole thing. If someone recognizes me, which doesn’t happen that often by the way, it’s always – I think it’s funny to be like: “No, that’s not me.”
E: No.
W: People really start doubting themselves, it’s very: “Uhm, can I ask you a question? Are you that guy from wtFock?” “Me? No.”
E: “No!”
W: “That’s not me.” And people will often be like: “Oh? What? But I recognize you…” That doubt on their faces is pretty funny but yeah, then I tell them it’s me.
E: Just the reaction of someone being like: “Huh, do I know you from somewhere?” “Do you watch porn?”
W: The confrontation.
E: “Oh… qmdkjg.” And it’d be even better if the parents were right there as well. “Argh!”
W: “Yes, Jürgen, care to explain yourself, young man?”
E: No, it’s just funny to joke about. But you’ve never – Do you just get: “Hey, are you that guy from wtFOCK?” Or have people also asked you: “Do I know you from somewhere?” Or: “What do I know you from?”
W: Yeah, it depends. The thing is – I go to school in Ghent and when the [popular place where college students go out] was still open before Covid-19, not that I went there often because I didn’t really like it there –
E: No.
W: - in the sense that the combination of young people who –
E: Watch wtFOCK.
W: - watch wtFOCK and alcohol – and people who’ve had alcohol to drink –
E: And are horny?
W: - their limits or boundaries are just gone. “Oh my god!!! You’re that dude from wtFOCK!! Can I kiss you??” Things like that!
E: Oh, fuck!
W: And I was really like: “Okay…?” I’m just a regular dude and I’m trying – and I actually thought it was less annoying for myself, but I thought it was more disruptive for my friends. Like even when we were just walking down the street, we got recognized a couple of times, and I was just like: I just want to have fun with my friends, and not have to spend too much time thinking. That’s another thing I was subconsciously thinking about. Imagine I drink way too much.
E: Yeah.
W: And I end up in the gutter somewhere, and people start filming that… So yeah, that made… So because of that I spent more time in friends’ dorm rooms just having dorm parties.
E: And since your bleached hair is gone, have you gone to a party?
W: When my bleached hair was gone corona was already a thing so I haven’t been able to enjoy it. But it’s starting to come back [the parties] so that’s nice. I’m looking forward to… tomorrow I’m going-
E: Are you going as well?
W: Are you going to Plein Air by Fuse?
E: Tomorrow I’m going to Jaimie Lee who-
W: …Is going to DJ at three festivals.
E: Yeah at three festivals and I will be backstage I guess.
W: Okay.
E: One of those festivals?
W: Yeah I don’t know. I have tickets for Fuse Open Air in Brussels.
24:19
E: I honestly have no idea where I’m going. Anyway, I’m excited. And I always asked, what’s the first event you went to ever since it’s allowed? Did you go to We Can Dance festival?
W: No I was studying.
E: Was today your last exam or yesterday?
W: Yesterday was my last exam in the morning. I was stressing so much, because I thought I would fail, but eventually I think it went relatively well. If you’re watching professors, let me pass please. No I think it went well.
E: Are you someone who is stress resistant?
W: Uhh no.
E: No?
W: I let it take over my body.
E: You get physically unwell?
W: I will be laying in bed and I’m tossing and turning and sweating. And I think about how I’m not gonna pass tomorrow. And the combination with my worries is really not good. It makes me stay up really late. The thing is with stress resistant, I for example made my own play at high school about a kid with divorced parents for my final work and the whole audience was filled with my family and my parents. That’s pretty confronting to tell a story that’s also a little bit of their life and is pretty personal. I’m always stressed for things like that. Then it’s weird – from the first word I spoke I had a lot of stress and worries and the first sentence that I said was something like “I don’t know what to do”, and then it’s all of a sudden poofff. The train has left.
E: You said you didn’t really know what to do now.
W: That’s the first sentence of the text that I wrote and the moment I said that sentence I thought in my head “the train has left, there’s no way back now” and then the stress disappears automatically. But before the final rehearsal there was a moment that I was moving around heavily and I was throwing with chairs. And afterwards I had to pack moving boxes, which was okay. But from moving around and the combination of stress it made me almost gag in the box from the stress so I almost puked. So at these moments it gets pretty heavy.
E: Did other people notice or were you hiding it?
W: Yeah the final rehearsal was luckily not with an audience, but my teachers were like “Everything alright?” and I was like “Yeah I’m good. It’s a bit much”. But when it comes to stress, a lot of people always say – I’m even a little stressed right now actually.
E: Really?
W: Podcasts, oh no no.
E: Oh shit. You have to be (stressed)
W: A lot of pressure on my shoulder here. No, but a lot of people say that it doesn’t look like that I’m stressed even though I really am dying from all the stress.
E: Only now you can hide it really well. You should become an actor.
W: A lot of people have said that to me often, but it’s not my interest. Also not much work in the field.
E: That too, fuck. Are you someone who constantly pretends like you’re okay?
W: Yes.
E: Even when you have a lot of shit going on in your head and you’re processing other things?
W: I'm one person. One person?
E: "I'm one person" [laughs]
W: I am one person. No, but I'm someone who often keeps their stuff to themselves, so that I can listen to what others need.
28:15
E: That was my next question. You listen more to other people’s problems and you’re the person people come to with their problems?
W: I think, at least I hope, that a lot of my friends do know that they can always come to me for a talk or a phone call. I'm someone that will shove away their happiness for someone else, which isn’t always positive of course.
E: It is a beautiful characteristic, but it shouldn’t take over indeed.
W: In the past it has happened that I was falling apart, but I kept pushing it away, because I wanted to take care of someone else. I noticed this a lot during the divorce of my parents. My parents had a hard time with the divorce and I remember that I came home as a little boy and I saw my mom sitting and I felt the duty to comfort her and to be there for her, even though I was 8 or 9 years old. That’s not something you expect to do or think from an 8 year old. It really broke me and now I can openly speak about it, because I have had enough conversations with my parents about it, about how it was for me. And I made a play about it, as I told earlier, so it’s been a whole process and that has scarred me till at least my 16th. My parents got divorced when I was 5 or 6 years old. It took me a long time to open up because of that. I notice it a lot in previous relationships, that I walk away from fights, because I would find the confrontation too heavy to get into a fight and to discuss. The divorce and fights with my parents scarred me so hard that I didn’t want that again. I wanted everything to be rainbow and sunshine, but life doesn’t work like that. And that was partly a misconception from me, that I thought that a relationship had to be perfect, if there is a fight, then it’s not going well. Now I realize that fights are part of a relationship. And also part of steps you take into accepting each other, listening to each other and understanding each other. It’s needed for a stronger connection. You can’t, well you can, but in my eyes you can’t be with someone for a long time without ever having had a conflict. Even if it’s a discussion, because then you’re adapting too much to the other, and then you say okay, I’m adapting to the demands of her and I suppress my own things or things I want to do, only to avoid the discussion, and that’s something I learned. And that’s how everyone learns their own things along the way.
E: You still see it in the youth, those romantic movies, where everyone is so in love and it always ends with a kiss or something and it’s always good and then you think, this must be the case in real life. Why can’t I find Gabriella Montez for my Troy Bolton. Even though that was a shitty relationship too, they were constantly fighting. No, but that gives a wrong image about relationships and for other things because of movies. And the reality is just different.
32:16
W: Yes. I recently for the first time -this is kinda embarrassing because it’s a must see- watched The Notebook.
E: Me too! What did you think?
W: It has been a few weeks ago. Or a few weeks, maybe 3 or something.
E: I watched it last weekend.
W: I almost cried.
E: Really?
W: I’m a really emotional person. I can really cry. I can really get lost in a movie. “No not the puppy, why?!” Those things, where I think "Willem, act normal". But no it was a beautiful movie.
E: Yeah I have a different opinion, because I just fell asleep. I fell asleep, because it all went so slow, it started so slow. I didn’t even watch the kiss in the rain scene.
W: The moment. It’s in literally every romantic movie. In the rain, it happens everywhere.
Ender: Yeah mate, it’s such a cliché actually, but yeah.
W: I bet you that they’re just standing there with a garden hose.
E: Definitely.
W: It can’t be that they’re waiting, “is it gonna rain today? We need to do that scene now”.
33:27
E: Checking the rain alarm while everyone is inside. There are definitely sprinklers there. It’s in a lot of romantic movies. Now that we’re talking about it, the filming you did with wtFock, you sometimes had scenes outside. Here we have those (light) spots, I assume that you don’t carry them outside. How do you guys do that?
W: Sometimes we do have spots outside, but as long as the light from the sun is okay – with a binocular (telescope), well it’s not a binocular, it’s a round thing you can look through and with it they can determine the brightness of the sun and if the sun is too bright for the lightning they need, then it gets shielded, the same that is in front of your lamps. With that they can dim the lights. Or when there is not enough they use isomo plates, that’s really weird. Sometimes there are really intimate scenes in a series where it looks like it’s really close to the skin of the actors. There is a camera with a plate on it and a stick for the sound above it, it sometimes made it really hard for me to focus, because everyone is sitting there and the director and I’m like “yeah, okay okay”. So it takes a lot to get it all professional.
E: Was there a crazy moment where you forgot your lines? That you’re laying in bed and you’re like “which sentence do I have to say now?”
W: Yeah we’ve definitely had a lot of bloopers. Yeah forgetting lines or.. the thing is, as long as the director doesn’t say cut, you have to keep going. It’s a matter of "how do I improvise myself around this scene to get to the point we actually have to get to", because you have a scene and you have your lines, but if you forget something, then you do know the main lines of where the scene has to go to. You know the scene will end in a kiss or something and these subjects will be spoken about in the conversation, so when you forget your lines, you try to work your way through it as best as possible. And when the director says it wasn’t good, then we’ll do it again. I’ve had a lot of moments where I forgot my lines and I was laying in bed with Willem and we would look at each other and we’d know that I had to say something, but I was stuck, so there would be a 10 seconds silence, hoping for them to say cut. Yeah so those kinds of moments a lot or moments where I… I also had that with Déjà Vu. I remember… by the way it was amazing to work together with such big names as Natali Broods and Koen De Graeve. And Koen, lovely person, was kind of the father figure on set and we had a scene, next to the bed, a quite emotional scene. And the camera was focused on me, close up on my face. And I still remember that, the sound was going, everything, and Koen had just told a joke, or made a face that made me laugh. So, I had to laugh really hard, but I had to act very sad. It was an intense scene of goodbyes. All the time, starting to laugh about everything. I still remember for wtFock we made a video with bloopers and those are very fun to watch back.
37:03
E: Are those bloopers ever published somewhere online?
W: I don’t think so.
E: I think if you’d be able to release them somewhere that a lot of people would be interested in them.
W: Yes, yes. I don’t know why, indeed. The fans would be happy with those.
E: I think a lot of people- because we were just talking about your biggest fan.
W: My biggest-
E: Your grandma.
W: My grandma, yes. Big shout out to my grandma.
E: Do you think she’s watching right now?
W: She’ll definitely watch, I hope so.
E: What’s your grandma’s name?
W: Micheline.
E: Micheline, thank you very much for watching Micheline.
W: Micheline.
E: I appreciate it.
W: Women in power. She deserves a special place. No really, she follows all the fan accounts of wtFock. And then sometimes, or very often, we call and she gives me an update of what’s being said on the internet. Or yes, I also remember, when scenes come out and there’s things being said and she���s like "Willem, is that true, what are they saying?" And I say "Grandma, it’s nothing, it’s all from the show." "Ah okay, okay." So yes, very sweet grandma. She’s like the grandma where everything was allowed. I think that’s the same for everyone. At home, there are a lot of rules, and then you got to sleepover at your grandma’s and it was like: "Oh, I get to stay up later, and she made pudding for me." Her vanilla pudding-
E: That good?
W: Grandma, if you’re seeing this, please make some vanilla pudding when I visit.
E: Dude, everything’s falling out of my pocket.
W: You’re letting everything fall out of your pocket? Maybe you need to buy another pair of pants.
E: The chair is too comfortable that I’m kind of sinking in it, and now I constantly get-
W: The conversation’s too comfortable-
E: It’s just my phone, it’s vibrating, I think it just vibrated out of my pocket. So, silent, great. Eh, what were we talking about? About your grandma.
W: About my grandma.
38:46
E: Now, totally different subject. If you were a fish, what color fish would you be?
W: A fish?
E: Which color do you identify most with?
W: Eh.
E: And you’re a fish too of course.
W: Identify with which color. The thing is, I’m in the scouts. And in the Jins, that’s the last year before you become a leader, we were given a color totem, and the whole group decided on a color that fits you.
E: All right.
W: And mine was mango orange.
E: Wow, that’s cool.
W: Yeah, I thought it was cool too. And it means, if I have to think back, mango has quite a hard peel, relatively, but the fruit itself is quite soft. And that refers to my personality. I’m someone that lets people in fast, around me, but in the beginning, suspicion is a little strong, but kind of like, testing. Let’s say that. But once- From the outside I might look a bit hard. A lot of people say that when I have my straight face-
E: Resting bitch face.
W: That I’m angry. I was once told on the subway by a dude, and I was just listening to music, staring in the distance, and I think, suddenly a dude comes up to me, in French: "C’est quoi ton problème, heh, tu regardes come ça, c’est quoi ton problème." And I was like: "I’m sorry". Apparently, I was looking in his direction with my-
E: Bitch face.
W: Bitch face. He must have thought I was looking for problems. So yeah, that’s why the mango, a little hard on the outside, but once you get to know me better, a soft, sweet boy. So that’s why, orange. So, an orange fish then.
E: A little bit of Nemo vibes.
W: Yes, Nemo then. But let’s, what’s that theory. Did you hear that?
E: Theory?
W: About Nemo.
E: What’s the theory?
W: Haven’t you heard that? I keep seeing that online. I’m having a crisis. So the thing is, your childhood will get ruined.
E: Fuck man.
W: The thing is-
E: But there really are, no keep going, I have something I want to say afterwards.
W: The thing is, I’ve heard, that Nemo is Latin for nobody, and that the father is imagining that he still has an egg left, but that that fish doesn’t actually exist.
E: Oh fuck.
W: And that Dory joins him, and he sees, we’re actually not looking for anyone, but because he has memory issues, he constantly forgets that they’re not looking for anyone. So, they’re actually looking for nobody. And I saw that online and I was like.
E: Damn, so all the eggs are eaten, but he imagines that someone still has to be there.
W: Yes, something to keep living for.
E: Fuck man, that’s very brutal. That’s very fucked up.
W: Sorry to everyone for who Nemo is ruined now.
E: There’s a similar theory about Phineas and Ferb, and then Candice, their sister, is based on a true story about a girl that lost her brothers and still imagines that they're still doing stuff in the garden. And she keeps telling her mom: "Look, look, they are still here, they’re doing that." And that the mom says: "They’re not there." And that’s why she can never see that. You get it? Brutal right?
W: My whole childhood is ruined. Fucking hell.
E: That’s going to be the title of this podcast.
W: Childhood ruined.
E: We’re ruining your childhood.
42:17
W: We’re ruining your childhood. No but that’s good because, thankfully, I have a half-sister, but I say sister because I think half-sister is an ugly word, of seven years old. She thinks she’s 16. She’s a real diva.
E: Oh wow, okay.
W: She’s very, I’ll tell you a story later, but the thing is, I experience all those things with her again. In the beginning it was like, turning the tv on, Bumba, again. And I could secretly watch with her without feeling guilty. I was like, I’m watching Bumba and secretly I’m enjoying it, but sssh, I’m just watching it with my sister.
E: That exactly.
W: And now it’s Ketnet, like Hoodie, those series that she’s watching. And yes, I notice that because of all the technology today, she has an iPad, she’s on YouTube, she’s watching those self-made crafts.
E: 7 years old?
W: 7 years old, yes.
E: Wow.
W: She watches those- where people are playing with Barbies and they make a little play with them online on YouTube and they do stuff. Yes, a tablet. She has an iPad that’s bigger than her head. That makes me think- well, an iPad is usually bigger than everyone’s head. Or well, almost.
E: Not if you have a mini of course.
W: Her head isn’t that big.
E: Okay.
W: She’s on it a lot though. But she’s a real diva. I think the best story I have, there’s multiple. I remember the story, we were sitting at the table and she was having another moment of "I’m the princess, and everyone can leave because I do what I want and fuck you all". But the thing is, there’s five kids at home. I have a brother and two stepbrothers. So, she has four brothers, and she knows very well that she has four brothers. And that makes her feel even more like she’s the princess at home. So, we were sitting at the table. And she kept staring at my dad like this while throwing her cutlery on the ground. Like "what are you going to do". And my dad was like: "Liv," because her name is Liv by the way, "stop that."
E: That wasn’t nice of Liv. (Liv sounds the same as lief which means nice in Dutch.)
W: No. Not nice of-
E: Haha. Sorry.
W: Badam pam ts. Can’t we put that under here. Yes.
E: No, sorry, keep going.
W: So, he was like: "Liv, stop that, stop that." He started to get annoyed, because she kept going. "Liv, what is so hard to understand about no." And then it got silent at the table so I thought, okay, it’s done. The o.
E: Oh wow.
W: 7 years old and she drops that.
E: Oh wow.
W: And I thought, okay.
E: Damn bro.
W: The o. That she even dares to say that. Yeah, and she has those moments. She was sitting at the table, with her mask on, eating. So, she pulled her mask down to eat, and then she was chewing with her mask on. And then I asked: "Liv, why are you wearing your mask?" "Yes, you came back from Ghent, you’re not in my bubble."
E: Okay, okay.
W: So, then I said: "Okay, that’s fine." It’s crazy how that goes around among young children. Because my sister came back home from school crying once. And I asked her: ‘Liv, what’s wrong?’ "Yes, my friends didn’t let me play with them." So, I was like: "Why?" "Margot says I’m not allowed in her bubble."
E: Oh wow.
W: See, that’s becoming the new- we played with Pokémon cards on the playground and now it’s about playing games in bubbles because it’s so-
E: Damn.
W: Yes, you’re only allowed to have four people in your bubble so we don’t play with more than four.
E: Oh wow.
W: So I found that kind of crazy, or confronting that it made me think like, even at such a young age it has an impact. And I know that the-
E: That it leaves an impression.
W: Yes, and I know that my dad-
E: It’s sad that children have to think about it.
W: Yes, exactly.
E: Well, it’s not that- everyone should think about it of course.
W: Yes, yes, of course. It’s also that I know the way my dad feels about raising, that he tells Liv straight up about things that are happening in the world. He doesn’t make things seem nicer, or saying, eh, yes, no, but that’s- The classic story of how babies are made, with the cauliflowers, and what not.
E: I also just think-
W: How am I going to explain that to my kids?
E: If you don’t make it a taboo to start with, is it that bad? It’s just- it’s just. Oh well, that’s a whole other conversation.
W: Yes, no, definitely.
E: But straight up just telling what’s going on to your kids. I think I would prefer that to making up a story about the flowers and the bees.
W: Yes, yes.
E: Because the story about the flowers and the bees, I don’t even know how you actually- pollinating and stuff, is that what that means?
W: You do it like this, pollinating.
E: Yes, no, exactly.
W: Yes, but well, children, that’s still a long time from now.
E: Do you want kids, you think, later?
W: Yes, please.
E: Do you think you would be a good father?
W: I hope I would be a good father. Despite my parents’ divorce, I really do… I do look up to my parents. I’m proud of the way they raised me. So yeah if I would be a good father… sometimes, but maybe that’s the age, kids frustrate me. I’m a leader in the scouts for the Welpen and Welpen -great guys- but they can also be annoying and say “I’m not participating” and “that’s a stupid game, can we do something else?” and I’m like “we invest so much time in this and so much preparation, please participate” so sometimes that bothers me. But I would prefer not to have just one (child). Certainly more than one because… are you an only child?
E: No I have a little brother.
W: Yeah only child… with all due respect to people who are only children but sometimes I think… for example, I’m very happy that I have a brother. Not that it wouldn’t be fun without a brother per se, but I don’t know, the contact I have with my brother is nice.
E: The thing is, you don’t know what you’re missing so it’s hard to miss it I guess. But I do think that my brother has been a great added value to my life.
W: Yeah, yeah.
E: In the same way, I never really had grandparents. They all died before I was born and the grandfather I did have was quite old when I was actually aware that I had a grandfather. So I’ve never really had the grandparents experience that you see with family gatherings and stuff. But I don’t feel like I’ve missed anything but I still know how much other people benefit from having grandparents. Also what you just said about how often you call each other and stuff. I think that’s the same with being an only child. If you don’t have any brothers or sisters, you don’t know what it’s like to have that, what you’re missing. But if you do have it, it’s an added value I think.
W: Yes, exactly. No that’s true. My brother is very helpful to me now. I know that I can count on him.
E: Older or younger by the way?
W: Older.
E: A lot older?
W: 21.
E: 21.
W: Oh boy I had to think about how old my brother is. Embarrassing. Love you man. No but we had - maybe you had that too – but when we were younger, we really fought.
E: Physical?
W: Real fighting. Yeah, it’s has now gotten much better. I think we understand each other a lot better, but it used to be real… we had Catch WW on the Wii and we reenacted that on the couch so that was… “In the right corner Ramy Stereo” and we were bare-chested and both had one boxing glove on and fighting each other until one of us cried, bled or gave up. Usually it was me.
E: That’s just the fate of the little brother.
W: I always went… I’ve never admitted that actually, [whispers] it’s a confession. I’ve never admitted it, but afterwards I always went to my parents and cried “Kwinten hurt me”.
E: That’s really… that’s the moment, you feel it coming and you think “ah fuck no, if I hit again it’s probably over but I want to…” [cross-talk] “no no no don’t tell mom! Don’t tell mom!” I think I was a pretty nice big brother. We often did shit together. We were at home playing on the couch together and Olaf bumps into a large box that was standing there and the box, bigger than Olaf back then, fell down on his hand.
W: Oh shit.
E: So Olaf broke his hand. And I thought “I made him jump over those chairs” and then you have to say “sorry sorry don’t tell them, don’t tell them!” but yeah if your hand is fucking broken, you’re not gonna stop crying because your big brother says “don’t cry”. Yeah, that are…
W: Yes, but the relationship [between Willem and his brother] has improved. Okay we still have our discussions but... I think moments like when we’ve both been to a pub or something and we come home at the same time and we’re always hungry and standing in the kitchen making sandwiches. Those are great moments. I don’t necessarily need to have emotionally heavy of deep conversations with my brother to know that he’s there and that I can have a good time with him. So I think that’s the added value of having a brother or brothers in general.
E: Do you guys also have a specific sense of humor? Or like those moments when the two of you are laughing and your parents or people around you think “what the fuck is going on?”
W: Yeah we speak some slang to each other for fun. Like “stu stu” and [my slang knowledge is very limited so I have no idea what he’s saying here lol], those kinds of things. Typical slang from Brussels and Leuven. It’s funny because my parents are always like “why are you talking to each other like that?” and recently, I was leaving and my mom said “stu stu!” so they are adopting those words and then my brother and I can’t stop laughing.
E: Also if your mom suddenly says “are we going to chill later?” and I’m like [laughing] “what? Mom!”
W: “Okay??”
E: It’s kind of cute. Yeah it’s fun. And what are… I almost want to go deep like…
W: That’s okay.
E: Is there a particular interaction or experience you’ve had with your brother that sums up your relationship right now? Or are those the moments when you’re laughing and eating at night? It doesn’t have to be a super deep or emotional moment.
W: I think it’s an accumulation of those moments and emotional moments too. For example, after it was over with my ex. I was really down back then, it hit me pretty hard. Those are the moments when I can walk into my brother’s room in the middle of the night and he’s there for me. I know that dude is always going to be there when something’s wrong, no matter how much we argue or how much we shit at each other. I just know, and I hope he does too, that I can call him 24/7, walk into his room 24/7 and he will be there or ready to listen. I think that’s just something… the fact that we know that about each other, that creates that bond. And the thing is, if only he would do his best and go to work, earn real money… because we went on holiday together and he still hasn’t… he still has some work to do but we’ve already planned something. I’m really looking forward to it. We’re planning to go surfing in Portugal together. Those are moments I just know I can go somewhere with him and have the time of my life without-
E: …That you can remember for the rest of your life what you did together.
W: Yeah, absolutely. Those moments that I want to cherish or want to keep or experience.
E: My little brother is also just the most annoying dude on this planet who I love the most.
W: Exactly that combination. Annoying, but you love them.
E: Of course. The cameras are back on. That means we’ve been at it for over 50 minutes.
W: 50 minutes? It feels like we’re chatting for 20 minutes.
E: Exactly.
W: Pleasant.
E: That’s good. If it’s pleasant and the stress is gone.
W: Do you actually like me? “No I hate you. We’re going to finish. It has been good.”
55:29
E: No we’re not going to finish yet, but before we do, is there anything you’d like to send out into the world before we finish? On average there are 10 to 50 people watching. Is there anything you want to say to them?
W: To the 10 to 50 people?
E: Yes.
W: 10 to 50 people, you are awesome. No, what I’m saying… maybe a little deep but it doesn’t matter. Very often in your life you are going to encounter that you run into a wall, that you’re going to have setbacks, that you think “I don’t want to anymore, I can’t to this anymore, life is all one big shit show” but I think that there is a certain… at least I believe that – everyone has their own opinion of course- that a certain path has been mapped out for everyone. Not necessarily that things are set in stone but there is a road that you are going to take and that road is going to have curves, is going to have hills, is going to have valleys, is going to have everything. Maybe it’s a gravel path, maybe rocks you stumble over but -it sounds a bit stupid- put on your best walking shoes and just walk that path the best way you can. Just try to live life with complete joy and euphoria because you’re 100% worth it. No matter what other people say or think about your ideology or style or way of life. Everyone is entitled to it or should be given the opportunity to be appreciated for who they are. I think that’s something we do too little in this society, but yeah.
E: Just don’t be too hard on yourself in the end?
W: Yeah, don’t be too hard on yourself. A lot of people blame themselves too much. Or “oh I’m like that and I don’t fit in because of that” or something. Then I think: so be it.
E: Do you sometimes feel that you should do more or have achieved more at this age? Of course you’re already doing a lot of cool shit but social media, I know there is a highlight reel of all people’s achievements and that sometimes it’s very difficult to filter between what is real and how much is that person actually sitting on the couch doing nothing. Do you sometimes feel that because of social media of because of your environment or I don’t know, that you’re not doing enough?
W: Gosh, sometimes I think my life is too full.
E: Too full?
W: Not that I’m saying “oh I have so many things to do” but I’m like... I’m letting that grow organically or so.
E: Not putting too much pressure on yourself?
W: Not putting too much pressure on yourself. I’m doing a course now that I’d like to finish because I’ve had those two projects and there are friends of mine who say “why are you still studying? You’ve had your opportunity, you’re going to get new opportunities right?” and I say “hey! I’m also only 19”. Sometimes I think “fuck Willem you should have achieved more already” but I also think I’m only 19. There was a conversation at school… I really think that’s one of the added values of the course. We receive an observation report twice a year, 5 pages where the teacher writes about you and how they see you, what they think about you, what your qualities are, what you still need to work on. It’s always spot on. So strange how they can just see right through you, even though I sometimes try to hide it. Yeah, where was I going with this… we had subsequent conversation about it and I said to my teacher “sometimes I feel like I’m too young for this course” that I have too little life experience. There are people in my class who are in their 20s or older, who have already studied something else before this, have read a lot more, seen a lot more than me, a lot more experience and I think “fuck, I don’t have anything”. People talk about certain topics and I don’t follow at all. I mentioned that I felt too young and she [the teacher] said “you’re young, but that also has its advantages. Your youthfulness can actually be an interesting tool in this course and look at it from a different perspective”. So I’m convinced: don’t be too hard on yourself, don’t think “whew, I’m already 20 and I haven’t achieved anything yet” so to speak. I even saw a video recently where… “if you don’t make it in your 20s, you might make it in your 30s and if you don’t make it in your 30s, you might make it in your 40s”. There are so many… there really are a lot of people… people often forget that there are people who only find out what they want to do or discover their passion later in life.
E: And also just… I think it’s so ridiculous that you set certain goals for a certain age or something. That it’s so expected that by 18 you must have completed high school and by 25 you must have had your first job interview, by 28/30 you must have a house and a serious relationship where you’re committed to for the rest of your life and by 40 you must have already had a promotion, that you can provide for yourself and fix your pension. All those fucking predetermined milestones. I think that’s kind of bullshit, you know?
W: Absolutely.
E: If that were the case, then I should graduate in a few years so to speak while I’m clearly not studying here because I have – fuck normally I have a re-exam today. And here we are.
W: Here we are.
E: I knew I was doing this but I mean that’s just… there’s so much time. I’m 22 now and I’m doing some shit, if I go nuts now or people don’t want to listen to this podcast anymore, don’t want to see what I do online, okay then I have to look elsewhere. But I did this and I went for it and I tried. I’m 22. Even if I go nuts now and it’s all gone, I’m only 22. There are still so many ways it could go. A lot of people don’t have a job at 22. If I started looking for a new job or something now, hopefully I’ll have one by 25. Then it’s still okay because I’m only 25. I don’t know, I always find that… I could go on for a long time about this. I think those predetermined milestones/goals of things that you must have achieved by a certain age, I just think it’s bullshit.
W: I sometimes make the comparison that people too often see life as the sports world. Football players who are good until 35 and then they are done. As if you must have already performed before that age. That’s not how it works. You really have all the time and you really don’t have to stress. I also notice that many people… you mentioned re-exams. That people say “fuck I have re-exams, oh no I’m not going to pass, oh no you have extra…” chill. You do your best, but suppose you have to repeat a year, that’s not a disaster either, is it?
E: What I also think is crazy is how many people have studied law and you eventually hear that they ended up in a marketing agency because they found it much more interesting. When I talk to some people who… I was seeing a social media manager recently [laughs] “seeing”, I was talking to him.
W: “seeing” okay [laughs].
E: I was talking to him.
W: [joking] Ender has something to say.
E: And I asked “what did you study?” and he said biochemistry. “How the fuck did you end up here?” Him: “uh yeah that just wasn’t the right fit for me. I have a master’s degree but I started working here because I found it much more interesting”. I thought: why am I pretending that the degree I’m trying to get is going to determine the rest of my life, you know?
W: Absolutely.
E: If there are so many people now… because he was only 28 or something. So I thought “aah okay so you’ve been studying biochemistry for so many years and now you’re here – I don’t know if I’m talking about the correct position – but now you’re just sitting here making content. Cool. But why do I attach so much importance to that one direction I’m studying right now that doesn’t even have anything to do with media or anything. I mean I’m very interested in media, I’m studying economics. Which is also interesting, but that’s not what I see myself doing in the coming years.
W: Yeah, yeah.
E: Anyway enough about me. Do you think you could win in a fight against a cow?
W: [laughs] I really like that. You can switch to totally different shit like that. Like before you suddenly asked what color fish do you want to be. Okay. That’s nice. Win… I’ve heard if you knock over a cow it dies. That it has a heart attack then. We don’t want to kill cows okay!
E: And purely hypothetical, you’re just standing in a kind of meadow so it’s not super big so you can’t go in all directions. There is a limited domain. You come face to face with that cow and you have to begin. No weapons. You’re standing there and the cow stands there and you both know you’re going to fight.
W: It knows that too?
E: It knows that too.
W: [makes mooing noises] okay ca va.
E: It’s not a bull but it does have horns so in fact it would-
W: I would shit my pants. I’d give up already. I would lie on the ground, come on. Really crazy, I saw Jackass recently. Those guys, that Wee Man, who was in that link with the bull and he’s being catapulted, so to speak.
E: I don’t understand how those guys aren’t all dead yet.
W: Yeah they are really crazy.
E: There was also a rumor that Wee Man died from a bowling ball during… but apparently that wasn’t true.
W: I don’t know.
E: Fucked up shit. Would you win against a cow?
W: Would I win against a cow? No, I wouldn’t win against a cow. I don’t think I would win against a cow.
E: I think I would. I think just like with a bull I would try to jump out of the way like that and once you’re on the side it’s just a matter of pushing. If what you said is true, it’s game over when it’s down and you know, that’s your tactic.
W: But the thing is, a cow is heavy, isn’t it?
E: True.
W: You can’t just push it over like that, can you?
E: Sure, but it’s a matter of life or death, isn’t it? The adrenaline rush. You have to image, a cow just comes running towards you. The adrenaline that goes through your body. You shouldn’t underestimate the power you have then.
W: Just find the best patch of grass and when it’s there, sneaky knife in the back. No, now people are going to think I’m that kind of person.
E: That you’re just a snake.
W: Snake. Definitely and I admit it. No, that would be fucked up.
E: I’m going to do one more thing that’s important. I’m going to find a Twitter shout out and in the meantime, I already asked you what your message is to the world and that was a beautiful message. Got something more banal that you’d like to share? Something that you want to share from your social media or something?
W: What do you mean from social media?
E: Where they can follow you. You can say something if you have a really good video that you want to share. “Check me everywhere”.
W: No I don’t have… people should do what they feel like doing. Do you think I’m cool, do you think I’m fun, follow me on Insta. No really doesn’t matter. Doesn’t really matter.
E: Alright, I’m just going to scroll and you say stop. I’ll go back and forth and you have to say “yes that’s the one who gets to have this week’s shout out”.
W: Exciting huh. Stop.
E: [reads twitter account] M. Verschuren.
W: M. Verscheure.
E: Is that…
W: [reads quote] “If you were never sad, you wouldn’t know you could be happy”.
E: Wow. Damn bro.
W: I’m going to edit my quote.
E: “If you were never sad, you wouldn’t know you could be happy”. Wow. If you didn’t have shitty days, you wouldn’t know what the best days of your life were.
W: Exactly. But what if you get stuck in your shitty days for the rest of your life?
E: That won’t happen. That’s my biggest fear.
W: Me too.
E: Looking back at your life and thinking-
W: …Fuck I’ve never been there again.
E: …That’s where I peeked. Hope that doesn’t happen. Anyway M. Verscheure thank you very much for listening, I really appreciate it. You as well, I think?
W: Absolutely, absolutely. How much were you going to pay me?
E: 50 euro.
W: Then I’ll come… awesome. Super cool.
E: Thank you so much to everyone who listened. I appreciate it. If you want to hear more you can always subscribe to this channel. It’s also good for my ego. I’ll just put your Instagram link in the description, for people who are interested. Okay, that was it.
W: Thanks, it was fun.
E: There’s an audio only episode on Spotify every Sunday and the video comes out on Monday. That’s it. See you next Monday. Or Sunday. Peace.
225 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just Friends (Reader x Chris Evans)
Pairing: Reader x Chris Evans
Prompt: “you say we are just friends, but friends don’t know the way you taste” but with a happy ending? - Anon
Warnings: R rating, Some sexual content/Smut, Minors DNI. Brief mentions of/allusions to anxiety.
Authors Notes: This is my first prompt fill on here in years, so I might be a little rusty any feedback is appreciated, please let me know if there’s anything I missed warning or tagging. I also didn’t intend for this to be so long but I got a little carried away with it.
When you and Chris first met, you had been young, wide eyed, fresh faced kids. He was barely 20, filming at your old high school, and you a member of the local theatre group were recruited as an extra. You had graduated a year prior and were coming to the end of your gap year, you would be going to college in a few short months. After seeing each other in passing on set, you and Chris had your first conversation in the kraft services trailer, both leaning in to grab the last remaining bagel. After a back and forth of “you take it” “no you” “seriously its okay” you agreed to split it and thus began your friendship.
It was weird, from that first day you had a connection like neither of you had experienced with anyone else. You talked daily, would be each other’s dates to your friends weddings, hung out with each other’s families without the other around. You were mistaken for boyfriend and girlfriend many times throughout your years of friendship but that was never what it was about. You’d both dated plenty, often times ending relationships because the person you were seeing couldn’t deal with your closeness to each other. But for you both that was just how it was, and if they couldn’t accept it then they weren’t worth your time. Maybe they were right, you had always had a crush on Chris, and you had a feeling it was reciprocated but you’d always had an understanding, a common ground that you were friends and that’s all you’d ever needed to be.
The first time you had edged into more than friends territory was on Chris’ 37th birthday. You had thrown him a party at his house and he had been a little, okay a lot drunk and while you weren’t far behind him you were still sober enough to take care of his messy ass. After everyone had left you had attempted to clean up a bit, collecting garbage and wiping down the kitchen, the whole time Chris was passed out on his couch. You had managed to wake him enough to get him up and into his bedroom, out of his jeans and shoes and into his bed. You bought him a glass of water and two Advil placing them on his beside table, him grabbing your wrist as you placed the water down, pulling you on top of him into a half hug as he tended to do when he was drunk. He’d always been touchy when he was drunk, letting his hands linger on you longer than normal but it had always been innocent. He mumbled something into your ear, something he’d said a million times, and you replied the same response you had given a million more. But what he said next had changed it all.
“No, not like that”
It stopped you in your tracks because what did he mean not like that. It had to be like that. It had always been like that. This wasn’t how this went. Not for the two of you. You weren’t “those” friends.
“Then like what” you had whispered, panic setting in, soberness hitting you like a Mack truck as you looked back at him. But of course he had fallen asleep again, dead to the world, arm wrapped around your waist as you perched on the edge of his bed. Silence filling the air except for the light snoring he was emitting.
The next morning you had been awoken by clattering coming from the kitchen. Stumbling out of the guest room you walked in to Chris attempting to make breakfast, standing in the door way you watched him, his eyes squinted and slow moving, lingering proof of his previous inebriation. He was making blueberry pancakes, it was a post birthday tradition, but you were usually the one who made them for him on the day after his birthday.
Seeing him standing there sliding another half burnt pancake onto the stack he had started made you smile, he tried bless him, but he was never great in the kitchen. The conversation from last night soon flooded your memory and you couldn’t stop yourself.
“What did you mean”
Chris looked up from pouring more batter into the pan, finally noticing your presence.
“Morning” he mumbled, clearly not fully awake yet “What do you mean, what did I mean?”
“Last night, in your room, you said you loved me...”
“I always say I love you?” He let out a low chuckle but looked confused, you weren’t sure if he really didn’t remember or if he was just pleading ignorance, usually you were quick to spot if he was lying but this time your radar couldn’t pin it. He turned his attention back to flipping the pancake in the pan.
“Yeah but when I said I love you too bestie... you said ‘No, not like that’ what did you mean?”
His head snapped up, redness filling his cheeks, and it was in that moment that you had known things were changing whether you had wanted them to or not.
“Oh” you said, your breath escaping you, as the realization hit.
“Yeah” he said eyes focused on the pancake burning in the pan.
“Chris...”
He pulled the pan off the stove dumping the last pancake on the plate before placing the pan in the sink letting the cold water run over it before turning back to face you.
“I don’t...what do you want me to say” He started, raising his voice slightly, obviously flustered. “You want me to say I was drunk and didn’t know what I was saying? Because I cant okay, I can’t say that. Would I have said it if I were sober? No, probably not...in fact definitely not. But I did and I can’t take it back or just pretend I didn’t because I do love you, I’ve always loved you”
“I’ve always loved you too Chris” you looked up, your eyes connecting with his blue ones.
“Yeah, but not in the same way” he stepped around the counter standing in front of you now, his frame towering over yours.
“Said who”
“What”
“Who said I don’t love you in the same way?”
Chris lunged forward, one hand grasping your waist, the other coming up to cup your face as he leant down, his lips pressing against yours gently. It took you a second to realize what was happening before your hands found their way around his neck pulling him down to you, deepening the kiss.
From that day onward you became the friends who make out occasionally, it wasn’t the right time for you to try and be anything more, yes you loved each other, more deeply than you first understood but your lives were all over the place, you were rarely in the same city for more than a few weeks at a time and Chris’ career was exploding more than ever. It wasn’t the right time. So you’d both take what you could get when you could get it and that was enough for either of you.
It wasn’t until Chris’ 38th birthday a year later that you let things go any further. He had wanted a small celebration, so you had gone to dinner with a few friends, had a few drinks and then headed back to his place to watch a movie. You had been cuddled up on the couch, passing a beer back and forth between you when he placed it down on the coffee table, his hand sliding down your thigh, before pulling you into his lap. You had placed your knees on either side of his thighs, your hands on his shoulders while his trailed down your sides and over your hips before slowly moving to cup your ass. You leant down to place a soft kiss on his lips, him reattaching them as soon as you pulled away, biting your lower lip roughly.
There was something different in the way he was kissing you, the way he was touching you, more heat, more passion. Your hands were running down his chest as his grip on your ass tightened, holding you close to him, the intensity taking over. Before you knew it your shirt was on the floor and his hands were sliding up your back as your lips found their way to his neck. There was a tenacity in every movement, every touch, every kiss. His hands finding the clasp of your bra, undoing it with ease and discarding it with your shirt on the floor. He pulled away slightly, his eyes raking over your body perched on top of him, eyes filled with need and want, pushing up to connect your lips once again as you could feel the hard length of his cock pressing against you through his jeans. His large hands sliding to your thighs before standing you both up, your legs wrapping around his waist, hands in his hair.
He stumbled his way into his bedroom laying you down on his bed placing a soft kiss to your lips before hurriedly kissing down the side of your neck and chest, between your breasts and down to your belly button stopping at the waist of your jean shorts, fingers dancing over the button as he looked up at you, eyes questioning as if to get the go ahead, you nodded gently. He slid your shorts and underwear down your thighs, discarding them and grabbing at the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head before sliding off his jeans and boxers. You let your eyes trail his body as he situated himself between your legs leaning down to kiss you again.
“Are we really gonna do this” he laughed as he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear.
“I think so” you blushed, eyes meeting his once again, yours filled with anticipation, his with desire.
When you woke up the next morning, your head on his chest, his fingers running through your hair, you didn’t know how to feel, but you knew things were moving into a far more complicated territory.
The two of you went on this way for a while, hanging out with friends and family as if nothing had changed, but when it was just the two of you it was different, intimate. When you were away from each other you facetimed daily, you shared everything, you always had but now it felt like everything you were used to but magnified. When he was gone you missed him, when you were together you felt complete. It was so familiar but so new at the same time. At this point you were dating without the title, which had been fine with you both, you liked what you had together it was easy, simple, no pressure.
In early August you had moved in, the apartment you rented was being sold and Chris insisted it would be helping him, and besides he had said, you were there whenever he was anyway. You had your own room but it was rarely used, most nights falling asleep together in Chris’ bed, both finding you slept better when you were together. It was one of those nights, curled up in his bed, Dodger at your feet, watching a rerun of some sitcom when Chris had asked you if you would go to Toronto with him the next month, his latest film Knives Out was premiering at the film festival there and he had been equal parts excited and nervous about it. You had been taken aback at first, sure you’d visited him on set before and attended a few premieres but this felt different.
“You want me to?” You sat up turning to face him.
“Obviously” he laughed “I’d take you everywhere with me if I could”
“Aww cute” you chuckled pinching his cheek as he kissed the tip of your nose.
“I have press a lot of the time, but you could hang out do some sight seeing, then come to the premiere with me?”
“With you...or with you?”
“Whichever one means I get to have you beside me on the red carpet”
“I don’t know Chris...you know that will start a shit storm” you knew how bad the rumours that had started when fans spotted you just attending the premiere for the last Avengers movie had been, and while it really didn’t bother you, you didn’t want it to have an affect on his career.
“Honestly? I don’t care.”
“Okay” you knew he wouldn’t say it but you could tell from his face that he was feeling anxious about it “I’ll come with you, but if you decide any time that you’d rather walk the carpet alone thats okay”
“I won’t” he reassured you, placing a kiss to your temple.
The day of the premiere came around quickly, Chris had been doing press for the past couple of days and you had spent most of your time exploring the cities sights. Chris held true to his word and didn’t change his mind about you walking the carpet with him. He had been a ball of nervous energy since you had woken up, you had left him eating breakfast to go take a shower and start getting ready for your day.
When you came out of the bathroom towel wrapped around you tightly, wet hair loose and ready to be dried you had found him pacing the hotel room in his underwear trying to keep himself busy, it was something that would put most people on edge but you had seen this so many times before with him, always getting in his head, always doubting himself and usually you were able to talk him down easily, but this time you had decided to try a different method.
Calling his name you let go of the grip you had on your towel letting it drop to the ground as he looked up having not previously noticed you had come back into the room, freezing instantly eyeing the curve of your body, a slight smirk across his face.
“What’s this for” he laughed as he closed the gap between you, hands finding your hips as you rested yours on his chest.
“You needed to get out of your head” you whispered as your lent up to kiss him, one hand sliding down his chest and finding its way into his boxers taking his length in your hand and stroking it slowly as you felt it harden beneath your grip. You pecked his lips before dropping to your knees on the plush hotel carpet pulling his boxers down with you. You pumped him a few more times with your hand before letting your tongue lick over his head tasting the saltiness of pre-cum. You took him halfway into your mouth, letting your warmth surround him before pulling off and sliding your tongue along the underside of his cock. Surrounding him with your mouth once more, this time dropping down deeper and with more intent, you hand finds its way to play with his balls, Chris letting out a breathy moan. You started to bob your head up and down as his hand found its way into your hair guiding you as his hips began to thrust, his tip hitting the back of your throat with each movement. It didn’t take long before he was warning you that he was about to cum, and cum he did, hard and fast right down your throat as you swallowed the taste of him before letting his cock slide out of your mouth. Chris pulled you up from the floor crashing his mouth into yours, tasting the remnants of himself on your tongue as he guided you back to the bed determined to make you cum just as hard as he had.
An hour later you found yourself in the shower for the second time that day, this time joined by Chris. You took your time, him massaging shower gel onto your back, while you reached up lathering and rinsing out the shampoo from his hair. You made sure to gently scrape your fingers along his scalp the way you knew, from many nights laying on the couch fingers curled in his hair as he fell asleep in your arms, relaxed him. Once you got out of the shower you realized Chris’ stylist and the hair and make up artist you had insisted on hiring yourself would be showing up any second.
By the time you were in the car waiting to pull up to the carpet Chris had seemingly relaxed, he held your hand the entire car ride over but you knew he was in a much better place mentally and that the second he got out he would turn on his charm and have everyone eating out of the palm of his hand the way he always did. When it was time to get out of the car Chris stepped out first leaning in to offer you his hand as you stepped out behind him, you could here the gasps of fans and media alike, all surprised that Hollywood’s most eligible bachelor had bought a date. Chris had pulled you into his side at the photo area, his hand on your hip as you placed yours on his chest posing for the cameras. You had been surprisingly pretty calm about the whole thing until that moment, cameras flashing in your face and paparazzi screaming from behind their barricade for you to look in twelve directions at once. It was overwhelming and something you don't think you could ever get fully used to.
“Just breathe” He whispered to you out of the side of his mouth, knowing that you had started to spiral.
After what felt like an hour but was probably ten minutes Chris’ team moved you along to the press portion of the carpet, you had expected to just stand back with the team while Chris answered questions from reporters from all of the different networks and publications but he had refused to let go of your hand as he approached the first reporter so you found yourself next to him through it all. Of course the first question was about you, and you just knew every headline tomorrow would mention it. It used to frustrate you, how the media would hone in on any female he was seen with, making the story about that and not the hard work he was doing, but you knew they were just trying to sell papers, page click and views.
“So who do you have here with you today” the reporter smiled tilting her head in your direction
“This is my best friend” Chris started before motioning for you to finish, that was one of the many things you had always loved about Chris, he never wanted you to feel like you were in his shadow, you had your own voice and you could use it. You introduced yourself to the reporter who asked a few questions about how you met and then switched to talking about the movie. After a few more interviews that went in a similar fashion you were escorted into the theatre for the screening, Chris took your hand as the two of you sat side by side in the theatre waiting for the film to start. You had enjoyed it a lot and really loved seeing this side of Chris’ acting ability. When the movie was done he joined some of the cast at the front of the theatre for a quick question and answer session for the attendees before you all headed to the after party.
Chris had introduced you to some of his cast mates, and reintroduced you to a few you had met previously during a quick visit to set one afternoon. You had downed a few glasses of champagne by the time you were ready to leave the party, tipsy but not quite drunk. The two of you found your way back to your hotel, and you laughed as you entered the elevator remembering something you had thought about mid interview earlier that day.
“What?” Chris laughed pushing the button for your floor and leaning against the back of the elevator, as you pulled off the heels that you hadn’t realized until that moment were killing your feet.
“Earlier...I almost made the worst comment in the middle of that E! Interview”
“....oh god what were you gonna say?” He chuckled, amused at your tipsy candour.
“Well you introduced me as your friend...”
“Yeah....” Chris laughed, looking at you as if to say that’s what we agreed on.
“Well, you say we are just friends, but friends...friends don’t know the way that you taste” you smirked at him pointedly, both remembering the activities of that morning.
Chris burst out laughing, his full belly laugh, hand coming up to his chest before reach across and pulling you into him, placing a kiss on your nose as the elevator doors opened on your floor.
“True” he mumbled before leading you down the hallway to your room, “that is true” he had one hand in yours the other holding your heels that he must have picked up on the way out of the elevator. “Well, how about next time I call you something else?” He started tone playful “This is my fuck buddy, no my slam piece, no thats too informal he laughed, girlfriend? No, hmm” He opened the hotel room door letting you slide in past him as he reached around to flip on the light switch closing the door behind him.
You stopped in the entry way a gasp leaving your lips. The room was filled with flowers. The pink and white Chrysanthemums filled every spare counter space, they had always been your favorite and Chris had sent you some for every birthday without fail. There were fairy lights lining the room and a small cart with a bottle of champagne on ice and chocolate covered strawberries by the window.
You turned back to Chris, your heart racing only he wasn’t where you expected....
“How about Wife?” Your eyes connected with his, where he was knelt on the floor behind you an open green velvet ring box in hand.
“What” was all you could get out.
“How about next time I call you my Wife. Marry Me?” Chris said, laughing at the shocked expression on your face “I’ve loved you for almost 20 years now, you’re the best thing in my life, and I never want to be without you...”
“Yes.” You said before you could even really think about it. “Yes!?!” You repeated realizing what was happening as Chris pulled the ring out of the box, sliding it onto your finger quickly before standing up to kiss you.
You’re not sure how long you stood there in the entry way making out, but when you pulled away you noticed that Chris’ eyes, like yours, were a little damp as you went to run your thumb across his cheek you caught a glimpse of the ring on your hand realizing you had barely even looked at it before it was on your hand. Chris pressed his lips into your hair holding you to his chest as you admired it. It was beautiful, delicate, subtle, it was just the kind of ring you would have chosen for yourself.
“Do you like it” Chris whispered into your hair
“I love it” you smiled up at him, lightly pressing your lips to his
“I love you” he smiled, not letting go of you.
“I love you too bestie” you giggled as he grabbed you around the waist lifting you over his shoulder and tapping your ass lightly as he took off towards the bedroom.
#Chris Evans#Reader x Chris Evans#chris evans x reader#female reader#female reader x Chris evans#Chris evans x female reader#chris evans fanfiction#chris evans smut#reader insert
360 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Extra (part 2)
Warning - smut (eventually....)
Taglist @queenshelby @margoo0 @being-worthy @peakyscillian @peakyciills @janelongxox @elenavampire21 @noctvrnalmoth @ysmmsy @cloudofdisney @lauren-raines-x @namelesslosers @misscarolineshelby @screemqueen @cilleveryone @peaky-cillian @misselsbells06 @datewithgianni @heidimoreton
You were finishing up your coffee, grateful that Cillian didn't hang around after grabbing his. Suddenly you heard Anto shouting in the yard outside. You told Liane you'd find her later, and headed out to him. He was pacing the grounds on his phone, the anger evident in his face. With an abrupt "Fuck you!" down the line, he hung up, kicking a rock across the courtyard in frustration.
"Anto? What's wrong?" You approached nervously.
"We start filming in three hours, and one of the cast had dropped out!!"
"What? Who?"
"Rachel Foster. She was supposed to play Tommy Shelby's girl."
"Oh shit.."
"Oh shit in-fucking-deed. What the fuck am I supposed to do now?! I can't call someone in at this short notice!"
"I don't know anyone who's even available.." he suddenly looked at you, you squirmed a little, you recognised that look.
"You know, it's not too late to reconsider my offer y/n."
"Anto we talked about this, I'm not an actress."
"But you used to be! And you were the best I knew!"
"When you offered me a role in this I was flattered beyond belief, I truly was, but my role is as a professor now, not an actress. I gave that all up nearly a decade ago!"
"Think about it - you're here anyway! She was only meant to film this week, it's a few scenes with Tommy, nothing major.. she's not even lasting the whole series it's just a few scenes I swear it. At least let me do a casting call with you? I'll pay you for your time, even if you don't want to do it? It's win-win! I'm desperate here y/n..."
You thought about it. You enjoyed the theatre shows you used to be involved in years ago so much, but then you were offered the job at Birmingham University and it was too good an opportunity to miss - a steady wage, guaranteed income.. the thought of going back to being a struggling actress made you very nervous.
"One casting call. If it doesn't work, I'm out and you'll have to find someone else Anto."
"Oh you fucking legend... You BEAUTIFUL legend!!!" He scooped you up and spun you round in a circle, before dragging you over to costume and makeup.
An hour later, you were in costume, hair done, makeup on, ready for the camera. You stood in the set for the Garrison, Anto giving you the once over for the short scene he'd got planned for the casting call.
"Anto you didn't say anything about kissing Tommy!" You groaned, reading the paper he handed you.
"It's one kiss - we need to make sure you have chemistry. You know these scenes are always filmed first y/n."
"You fucking owe me Byrne." He grinned his cheesiest grin yet, allowing you time to get to know your lines and the scene. You were lost in it, focussing on getting yourself into a character for the first time in years.
"Y/n?" An Irish brogue suddenly dragged you out of your prep, and you nearly dropped the whiskey glass you were holding as you were practising a scene.
"Holy fuck..."
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you - " he held out his hand, chuckling at your outburst. "I'm Cillian. I'll be playing Thomas Shelby."
"I, uh, I know who you are, I'm Y/n..."
"I know, Anto tells me you're Rachel's replacement? Really appreciate you stepping in like this, I know it's all a bit weird. Just take your time, okay? There's no rush, and no pressure to get it perfect, just relax. I know how intense these things can be."
"Thank you. I'm sorry if I'm shit..." You laughed, your stomach in knots.
"You won't be! You wanna stop at any point, tell me. No pressure, remember that. I'm looking forward to it."
"To what? Me throwing a whiskey glass at you?"
"No, not that bit," he smiled, his blue eyes glittering in the stage lights behind you.
"Right then you two, are you ready?" Anto called, and you pulled yourself together. Taking a deep breath, the scene began.
"You promised me Thomas. You said you were going legit!! Now I find out you have guns hidden away from the fucking IRA??"
"Clara, you have to trust me! I AM going legit but I need money behind me to do it - this is our way out of here!"
"You're a fucking liar Shelby. Four years I waited for you. Four fucking years you wrote to me promising me a life of safety, no more having to watch our backs, no more Peaky fucking Blinders, and you lied through your fucking teeth!" You threw the glass, missing his face by a mere inch.
He ducked, and approached you carefully, hands out to catch your arms as they flailed around. A sudden flick of your wrist in the wrong direction caught him off guard and you hit him. Full force on the side of his cheek.
"Oh fuck!! Shit I'm so sorry!!"
"Quite the left hook you've got there!!" He laughed, regaining his composure, rubbing his face. A decent shade of red now blossoming across his cheek. Anto was in stitches the other side of the camera and you shot him a glare.
"I can't believe you've just smacked the star of the fucking show!" He laughed.
"You're certainly feisty enough for Clara's character, I'll give you that!" Cillian smirked. You were mortified.
"I really am sorry..."
"No harm done, I'm fine. I've had worse. Come on, let's finish this yeah?" You were convinced you'd screwed it up, but Anto calling Action brought you back into the scene.
Cillian cleared his throat and approached you again, you could see him trying not to laugh though and you couldn't help but giggle a little, which set him off too.
"I'm sorry, really I am!" You panicked.
"That was my fault, I was too busy watching her arms!" Cillian smiled.
"Guys I really like what I'm seeing here. There's definitely chemistry on screen. Why don't you two go rehearse a little more together and come back in 30 minutes?" Cillian nodded and turned to you.
"Fancy a coffee?" He asked. You nodded and he led you over to the trailers behind the set.
"Are we not going to the cafeteria?"
"Not unless you want to rehearse in front of your Uni class?" He smirked. You shook your head and followed him into a decent sized trailer at the back. He flicked the kettle on, telling you to take a seat while he made the coffee.
"So why did you give up the theatre? You're clearly very good, else Anto wouldn't have requested you?"
"It wasn't going anywhere. I was in the West End, Broadway, Galway.. just seemed to be bouncing around with no real direction. I wanted to get into film or TV work but the roles were in high demand. And it became very clear very quickly that I wasn't the right kind of actress the movie makers wanted as a leading lady."
"Really? Why?"
"I wasn't prepared to get my tits out at every audition like the others I guess?" You shrugged. "I auditioned for a horror movie once in Hollywood. Some big budget thing that never ended up happening anyway, but the director wanted me to audition in this skimpy little dress - barely covered my ass never mind my thighs. Wouldn't audition me unless I wore it, so I threw it at him and walked out. Kinda blacklisted from then on."
"That's horrendous? Which director?"
"Cant even remember his name now it was so long ago. It doesn't matter anyway, the movie was scrapped before production and I landed the job at the university. Secure, stable, good money - couldn't ask for more really. And the kids are so great, Cillian, full of passion and enthusiasm! They're so inspiring they really are!"
"I'm meeting some of them later, I'm looking forward to it. My youngest wants to get into the industry. Been trying to put him off for years but he's such a little showman. Exactly like I was at his age."
"Is that Jack?" You asked.
"Yeah. His mam is keen on him getting into it but she hated me going off for months on end filming. One of the reasons she divorced me last year."
"I heard about that. I'm sorry.."
"No don't be! We get on better now than we ever have. Only stayed together for the kids you know? Milk and sugar?" You nodded, and he handed you the cup.
"This scene is awkward, I've never done a scene like this before," you confessed, taking a sip.
"Like what?"
"A kiss? How do you kiss someone without actually kissing them?"
"You just do it, I guess. Once you're in character it just happens. I won't use tongues I promise - nothing personal, it's just one of my rules."
"That makes it less awkward I suppose!"
"Exactly. Although didn't stop Scarlett Johansson that one time... Nearly got me shot by the wife that one did!" You remembered that scene in Girl with a Pearl Earring and laughed.
"You know, I've learned over the years that if you do those scenes first it makes all the others much easier," he said, putting his coffee down and taking yours from you, placing it on the table next to his. He took your hands and stood you up in front of him.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm going to kiss you."
"What?"
"Not like that, I'm going to 'movie-kiss' you. Show you how it's done. Trust me - you won't feel awkward after this."
"I beg to differ..."
"Come on y/n, what have you got to lose?" My senses? You thought. My mind, maybe? You were hesitant, massively hesitant. You weren't even sure you were even going to go through with this. He glanced at his watch.
"We have five minutes, close your eyes and trust me." He nodded at you, and you took a deep breath, closing your eyes.
His fingers back on your cheek, this was just a reenactment of the scene but those fingers felt like lightening bolts. You could sense him moving closer, and his lips brushing yours. You were almost frozen to the spot until he whispered for you to relax.
"Okay, okay... I'm relaxed.. try again.." he leaned in again, your lips meeting properly. His hand in the back of your hair pulling you a little closer. You fell into it, your hands reaching round his back. As promised, he didn't use his tongue, which felt really strange at first but you quickly got used to it. Your mouths meshed together perfectly as you found your rhythm. A few minutes of this, before he pulled away, another gentle kiss against your lips as he did.
"Wow..." You gasped, opening your eyes. If someone had told you this morning you'd be kissing Cillian Murphy by lunchtime you'd have had them commited to the local loony bin, yet here you were. He didn't speak, and his hand was still on your cheek, brushing it lightly.
"Didn't plan on making you blush so much."
"Didn't plan on kissing Cillian Murphy when I woke up this morning," you laughed.
"Ready to do that again?"
"Again?"
"Just to make sure we got it right, of course."
"Yes.. of course.." he moved in quickly, but it felt different this time. His lips crashed against yours, and you definitely felt his tongue brush your lips a couple of times but you didn't reciprocate. You both moved backwards, your thighs hitting the table behind you, coffee nearly spilling over.
"Fuck, you okay? I'm sorry.." he pulled away to make sure none had spilled on you.
"I'm fine, it didn't fall, I'm fine... I uh, I think we've got the kiss nailed down though..." You brushed your hair out of your face and looked to the floor.
"Yeah, I think you're right.." your eyes met again and you both smiled. Before he could speak though, Anto was at the door knocking.
"Ready for round 2 guys?" He called. Cillian nodded at you, and you nodded back, both of you heading out to try the scene again.
#cillian murphy#cillian smut#cillian x fem!reader#cillian fanfic#cillian x smut#cillian murphy x smut
85 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
delta-the-mando
Welcome To The Outpost
junowani
Untitled
umar-uddin
Iinterest
pakwahidun
Pak Wahid
kervdotco
KERV’s Last Brain Cell