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#and then i remembered i can talk to non therapist ppl about things and ask their opinions. hate that
ragnvdnir · 2 years
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Was typing my asks responses to you and tumblr crashed so i'll just do another thing 😍 i might seem like a menace for this but i can sense how much you wanna be asked and talk about yourself more🧐 this is what you call actively participating as your anon 💪💪💪 literally almost devouring the whole ask game 🤩 @ three-clover anon come and join me in devouring the whole ask game <33 (ein im sorry im feeling extra goofy 😭😭😭 feel free to not answer some questions ofc 😍) if there's no one who's gonna ask you anything then let it be me 👹👹👹
For ask game ! 1, 4, 6, 7, 11, 13, 16 because im extra, 25, 27, 29, 30.
Also if it gets too long just use the power of "read more" feature -> :read more: to put a cut 😍
— 🍰.
DID YOU ATLEAST BURP FROM DEVOURING THE ASK GAME⁉️ you got me writing in my notes maam😭👍
ask game!
(answers utc)
1. theres alot tbh, but most of them are just Taylor swift's song. for example getaway car, style and cruel summer bc we love them 🙏🙏🙏
4. im not really into flowers so i just searched and i think hydrangea and a forget me not is pretty. if i were to recieve a flower, i would care more abt the meaning and the sentimental value of it😗😗😗
6. nice things about myself?? just to let you know i spent a long time on this bc i dont say nice things abt myself 😭😭
non-physical
1) im the type to go with the flow. ppl might think of me as a big ass extrovert but my man lemme tell you im more of an ambivert. i barely go out of the house just bc😔😔 and i am humble and shy in the first meetings😇😇😇 (everyone agree rn or else)
2) i think i have a lot of empathy than my irl friends. im their mom and therapist 👹⁉️
3) i would love to learn more about psychology bc i want to understand ppl and help them because mental health matters everyone ⁉️⁉️
physical (this is the part u made me think for a long time bc maam idk😭)
1) i think my eyes are okay (this is a lie)
2) i have dimples on both cheeks which i am not really a fan of but oh well (this is the truth)
3) i love my hairstyle (im starting to love the failure of my hime cut)
7. well first thing that came into mind is white and blue too?
11. i dont really think abt things like this bc 1) im not gonna date someone until i finished studying (my parents command) and 2) im not interested in anyone real bc im focused on these pixels 🙄🙄 but i would love to travel to different countries with my lover in the future but like i am broke so ill just go for a simple one, maybe just staying indoors and do domestic things like baking, painting or whatever? (i cant do all of them btw) being beside each other is enough ( ꈍᴗꈍ) wow so romantic, diluc come and date me rn
13. idk too tbh😭 but i think salted french fries and potato chips bc why not🤨🤨
16. heyy😠😠 u nice, keep going👍👍 its heartwarming that u care for a random stranger in the internet. i remember the message you gave me in dan's blog when i said i feel sick and keep throwing up, i was deeply touched fyi🙄🙄
25. kinda weird but i really to receive a cute puppy and foods! and money
27. i would want to be like those shoujo girls. like damn they're getting all these fine dudes for free🤨🤨 what abt me huh? what abt me? when is my turn to pull a yuki sohma🤨🤨 oh and ik i told you im a gold digger as a joke but i would really want to be someone rich and successful so i can buy anything i want😩🤛 they said money cant buy you happiness well money can buy food and food makes me happy🤬🤬🤬
29. i absolutely hate morning, so its between afternoon and night😍
30. i really love puppies so being with them fills me great happiness so they're home. and a breathtaking scenery and ofc my family bro😩🤛
i tried to make the answers shorter bc at this point i might write an essay😩🙏
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girl4pay · 3 years
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realizing that i want to ask someones opinion about my life choices even though i never do that and i hate the idea. growth is uncomfortable or whatever
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vexedtonightmares · 3 years
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hey :) do you mind sharing some more about the skam austin panel today?
yeah for sure!! i’ll put what i remember under the keep reading tab for ppl who wanna hear about it :) i only went to the panel, not the rewatch (bc money lmao) so there are probably some other things they talked about that i missed, but i’m sure there are other ppl on here that can fill you in on any gaps that i miss!
it was valeria (jo), julie (megan), and lakeisha* (shay), and pedro (p jo) on the panel (he was the moderator, the other three did most of the talking), though they did mention other castmates throughout :,) 
*lakeisha was the name they went by on the panel, and in the info before the panel it said they use they/them pronouns, so that’s how i’ll be referring to them throughout this 
all of them started out by talking about what they’re doing currently, julie said she’s dropping out of school because her therapist told her “you as a person matters more than you as a student” which i thought was a great sentiment as well 
lakeisha said they’ve been making a lot of clothes and music (also throughout the whole thing they kept showing us their shoes and they left to pee like halfway through something they were answering one time hfjskaj)
they then talked about their audition processes (val had the most chaotic series of audtions omg i would love to see her audition tapes)
val originally read for either jo or megan, and she had literally just moved there like right before casting and almost didn’t go to her audition
she said that she decided to be the loudest person in the room so that they couldn’t ignore her, and that carried her through most of the rounds of auditioning
she said that at the end she said “if you don’t choose me, which you should choose me, but if you don’t, please choose another latinx actress because you have no idea how much it means to see someone who looks like you on screen”
julie auditioned because she was hoping julie (andem) would bring lisa and tarjei and she basically wanted a free meet and greet djkfshk 
she found out about skam og on tumblr !! she’s one of us 😌 
she thinks julie andem is the coolest person in the world 
they told her that she was pretty much everything they envisioned megan to be, so they cast her fairly early on and then had her partner with the marlon prospects 
giovanni, who eventually played tyler, auditioned for marlon and they kissed during their audition even though they weren’t supposed to
julie went to high school with till who ended up playing marlon and people would always ask her what it was like to get to make out with him and she was just like .... we just working bruh
lakeisha found the ad to audition on instagram and decided why not because it said it was a paid job 
they looked up a bunch of improv games the night before because they had no experience and had no idea what they were doing
in the audition julie asked what the tattoos on their hand meant (and also the one thing lakeisha was excited about being out of contract was that they could get as many tattoos as they wanted without asking for permission)
they all had a lot of love for julie andem and loved working with her
val said that she’d always try to make julie laugh and she said that julie is the reason og and austin are so good, because it’s her story and her vision 
they roasted the shit out of fb too (as they should)
basically fb ghosted them and never renewed the show but also never cancelled it so technically they don’t even know if anyone else could get the rights to reboot the show somewhere else (lakeisha said ‘skam austin onlyfans’ lmao)
i don’t remember which one of them said it but they said fb is like an inconsistent dad lollll
they also think that fb sort of finessed julie/her team because they were under the impression that it would be like og where they had their own website for the show and everything, but then it ended up just being a facebook page
they also filmed promo for season 1 that never ended up being used but they don’t know why 
lakeisha felt super disrespected by the fact that not only did they not get their season, but also the fact that they just dropped the show like it was nothing and none of them even found out that they probably weren’t getting more seasons until they saw that their instagram accounts were gone
everyone was upset about the igs getting deleted too because they put so much work into the content on there for it all to just disappear 
val said “no one tells a story like the one that was about to be told” and everyone agreed
val said that if the show would have continued, jo would have been undocumented and they would have shown her trying to navigate college (not only were we robbed of a jo season, we were robbed of college seasons 😤)
jo x jo were definitely going to be a thing
val said that when they wrapped s2 she was like finally!!! because now they could get into the stories that they really wanted to tell and really knew would make a difference (everyone vehemently agreed)
they were proud of the fact that they’re the most diverse cast and that they don’t just treat the characters of color like sidekicks like the other remakes do
julie talked about how skam france was the only remake to have jonas not accept isak right away when he was coming out and how it was suspicious that he happened to be the only non white jonas and that was the choice they made
val said that druck is the only remake she’s watched but she likes it
they also talked about how, even though it’s great that the cast was so diverse, practically everyone behind the scenes was white
val said that she didn’t really think about it much at the time because she found it hard to speak up since she was very young and inexperienced but looking back she wishes jo’s body wasn’t so fetishized as a latina (she didn’t clarify whether she was talking on a production level or within the fandom, but she talked about costuming so i assumed she meant more on a production level)
they all wished there was more representation off screen as well as on
shay x megan was brought up and julie said that shay was going to have her own love interest (am!even !!!!) come season three, and that it wouldn’t have been megan 
she also said that megan was mostly just confused and like ‘haha i kiss girls when i’m drunk’ but then she also said that megan and shay never had feelings for each other at the same time so 👀 
she was upset that they made megan and marlon get back together at the end of season 2 because she wasn’t a fan of them together, but she said it also makes sense because a lot of teen girls go back to their toxic exes even when they know it’s not good for them
lakeisha said that they hated shay’s acrylic nails because it didn’t make sense to them for her to have them (especially since shay was a musician)
they also said that they’ve been pretty confident and open with their sexuality since they were around 12, and that one time in middle school they dated a boy because he had an xbox and then they were like oh no is this toxic am i using him because he actually has feelings for me?? hdskafja 
they also said that the cfgc music happened because they heard that the boys from og also had a song and at first i was like wtf are they talking about but now i think they meant the penetrator song 💀💀 
julie has a cfgc shirt :,) and they all stole a bunch of clothes and stuff from set, val said she took a bunch of outfits that jo never wore which makes her sad to think about now 
val’s favorite scene to film was the car scene in s1 before the party (she said it was one of the best moments of her life) and julie said she liked that one as well (val said there’s a shot of her looking into the camera and flipping it off but they didn’t include it in the show, i feel robbed)
people asked how it felt for lakeisha to be the first lesbian isak and they said that they didn’t feel like they were, because they didn’t really get the chance :(( but they also said that the idea itself was very intimidating and there was a lot of pressure around it
they also said that they and gio were very very close both on screen and off, they said it wasn’t even like they were an extension of one person, that’s how close they got
there were a lot of improvised scenes, particularly with val, and she also said that incorporating spanish into jo’s dialogue was mostly improvised 
julie, val, and pedro also all talked about how they’re all mexican, and how each of their life experiences vary so much from one another, on the show and off and julie said megan’s upbringing was a lot like hers 
they all also said that they liked the music the show used and a lot of them have emotional attachments to a lot of the songs 
val said she wishes they used more frank ocean and i agree 
they also said they’re not sure if there are bloopers or anything, but they’d love to see them if there are 
i’m trying to think of anything i missed ahhh i feel like they talked about so much but i think i’ve got the key points soooo
that’s all !!! hope this was interesting to ppl who still care about austin like i do :,))
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letthefrogsbe · 3 years
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remember when I was gonna write that parkner fic?
cool so I've decided I'm gonna, but because I cannot write for SHIT and I hate my writing every time I see it, ill just share my outline of what I have so far. its not coherent. sorry. 
Section one: aunt may dies. It’ll be like “it's been 3 months. 3 months since May was shot. 2 months and 3 weeks since she died.”
Something like that idc. Basically this section will base around peter living tony, because he’s not doing well, and he is only 17- which is not actually old enough to be on your own after something like this. Setting is established, with cameos from dr strange (who tony is dating and lives with (yeah bite me, this is my fanfiction i can make it what i want.) it will be made obvious that this takes place after endgame, which also means that tony is Not going to die. I’m not that mean lmao. The avengers are like largely together, there was not as much death in this as there was in endgame. Whatever. Everyone is very nice to peter because they know that for him its either this or him becoming a ward of the state so like.
Section two: harley gets kicked out. His mom finds out that he’s gay (from gossip sources idk) and kicks harley out. Im not going to write them having a big fight like in the moment, but harley will recount what happened somewhat to tony in this section, and then more to peter later in the story. Gay ppl trauma dump, we know this. Okay anywaysss so harley calls tony literally sobbing and like freezing fucking cold. IM SORRY IM BEING SO MEAN TO THEM I PROMISE THEY'LL GET A HAPPY ENDING. Okay. harley explains how his mom kicked him out. Tony asks why, harley says something like “she didn’t agree with my lifestyle choices” like bitterly. Tony is a good person in this (i know, im really taking some character liberties) and he’s in the mood for collecting strays apparently, so he has happy send over the quinjet. He can’t make it himself bc hes in fucking japan or something for the next few weeks,, but. Yeah! Tony also calls peter, who is presumably in bed and feeling depressed. “Hey pete. How ya feeling? Any better?’ ‘Not really, tony. Sorry.’ ‘you don’t have to be sorry-’ ‘damn tony you sound like my therapist.’ “sorry pete, but i do have something to tell you- you know harley?’ ‘only from what you’ve told me about him, but yea. He was the tennessee garage kid, right?’ ‘i mean. Yes. so- he’s gonna come stay with me for a while too- it might not be permanent but it will probably be a bit. He’s about your age, and he just has no where to go (just like u). He’s not going to stay in your room or anything, but with bruce and thor here, he will be in your apartment area.’ ‘okay tony.. Will i have to talk to him a bunch?’ ‘not if you don’t want to- i already warned him about you, so it should be okay. I wouldn’t worry so much pete- you guys are so similar in a lot of ways that i wanted to introduce you two long before he called me.’ ‘okay tony, i trust you. Thank you again for letting me stay with you :)’ (yeah that kind of got away from me)
Section 3: build up. this is a shorter section. Harley and peter are gonna meet in section 4. This section is harley’s jet ride (with an intuitive happy) and harley’s nerves about how he really isn’t worth this (i mean hes pretty intimidated tony sent a private jet just for him) and happy like reassures him. Hes still insecure though. Peter is also nervous bc what if harley doesn’t like him? What if he doesn’t like harley?? Tony did say they would get along, but peter hasn’t really been himself recently, so who knows? Yeah lots of that. I do want to emphasize though- peter is not completely unhealthily coping. Like he has a therapist and he has been reaching out to ned and mj, but its still an open wound for him. Obviously. He still has a sense of humor though, but its to cover these deep insecurities. Like the first month or so that he was with tony, he was reallllyyyy trying to not get close to him bc he sort of thinks he kills everyone around him. Like logically he knows this isn’t true, but he does really think the that non superheroes that he surrounds himself with are very at risk if they know about his spider-man-ness. The only people who know now are ned and mj (may knew too).
Section 4: the meeting of harley and peter. Keep in mind peter has been living in this apartment/area of stark tower for about 3 months now. He actually moved in while may was in the hospital because he couldn’t stand to be alone in the apartment when he knew why may wasn’t there. And um. Yeah. so peter is like comfortable in this space, basically. Also- the reason theyre in the same apartment is because stark tower was not really created with the idea of housing broken orphans in mind, so it only has a certain amount of residential space. Thor and bruce are currently staying there together (although no one really knows if theyre together, or if theyre just best bros who went through some extreme trauma together and are now inseparable. Hmmm wonder if thats gonna come up later) and theyre using one apartment, and happy lives there with his own apartment, and tony and stephen are currently sharing the penthouse, even though thats not public knowledge. Really only the people close to tony know that he’s dating stephen. So. this leaves just the one other 2 bedroom apartment for peter and harley. It has one bathroom, and the bedrooms are connected by a door but theyre pretty big so like. Theres a kitchen, a living room with a fancy ass tv, and a really pretty view (with a balcony bc <333). May died in march, peter got leave from the school in april, and it is now the middle of june btw. Tony is now peter’s official guardian (he was before may died anyways) and now has sole guardianship over him which he has fully accepted, even though peter and him both know that there are going to be times where he has to go out of town bc he does own a company after all. Times like right now. Harley is pretty nervous that tony isn’t going to be there to greet him and that he is going to have to like introduce himself to peter and everything. Cmon, theres no reason to feel like that, he’s the one intruding after all, he should at least be able to handle himself. (<--- harley’s thoughts). Yeah so theyre insecure super cool. A n y w a y s so peter was stressing about harley as he arrived, and so when harley walked in they were both complete bundles of nerves. Harley walks up but knocks. Peter actually jumps (bc spidey sense okay whatever) and goes to get the door. Oh my god these awkward teenagers i hate them so much (i love them). Peter kinda looks like shit, sorry king. He was a little bit crying earlier, then tony called and he switched into stressed out ball-of-anxiety mode. Distractions are good, its okay. Peter opens the door for harley and they like introduce each other all awkward (again sorry) and peter shows harley where he is staying. Harley doesnt really have muchhhh bc he was kicked out and all. He just has a suitcase full of clothes, his favorite blanket, his favorite stuffed animal (yeah whatever bc ofc he does) and his phone/charger. He sets all his stuff down at once. He thanks peter for letting him stay in his apartment and also said sorry. First thing peter noticed was harley’s accent. Stfu. peter asks why harley’s here- ok. Harleys had a long ass day. Too fucking long. He- he breaks down. He tells peter a lot. About how his mom found out that he was gay, and how she told him never to come back. Yikes. Anyways, this is establishing the beginning of their relationship as friends. Peter is there for him even though he doesn’t know him at all. Peter sees some of himself in harley in this moment, even though he’s not talking about himself yet. Eventually harley does ask about peter, and they really just get to know each other really quick. They have these deep scarring individual traumas, and neither has nearly recovered, but they find comfort in just knowing that theyre not alone in their suffering. At least for now. At least in this moment.
Section 5: the next day. Peter and harley spent that whole night talking about what they were going through. Peter said good night at around 5 am (there were no adults around they can do what they want to) and they both got good sleeps. In peter’s case, one of the first solid nights he’s had in a while. Harley was kept up a little longer after peter left, however, because he just couldn’t shut off his mind. It was really cathartic for him to just lay everything out there and for someone to just accept him. Peter told him he was bi, but he was.. Lucky. He had accepting people in his life. May was accepting. God, harley couldn’t fathom having lost everyone in his life, everyone he ever cared about, and still having the heart to sit and talk with the dumbass anxious gay kid who can’t go home anymore. His problems felt so small compared to peter’s, and all he could do was admire peter’s resilience and how he was seemingly able to bounce back from anything. God, peter was something. He couldn’t wait to get to know him more. With that thought circling in his head, he finally went to sleep at oh shit 6:30 am. Peter woke up around 1. Harley at 2. When harley woke up, peter was watching tv and eating cereal on the couch and he just sat down next to him. No words, just sleepy children being sleepy. They stayed like this for like an hour when someone knocked on their door. Enter stephen strange!!!!!!!!!!! Get excited people. Hes just coming in to check on them bc tony told him to, and he didn’t get the chance last night bc he was _busy_. K so now he’s here and hes awkward and he just wants to make sure these boys r okay bc theyve both been through too much recently, and it would be just the cherry on top if they didn’t get along. Him and harley had never actually met before so he like introduced himself and all that. Offered like if they needed anything he was there, and its only gonna be a few days until tony gets back (did i say a week earlier? Im retconning that bc i cannot find it in my writing so it is now retconned). Peter and harley just have to sort of explain to dr strange that theyre getting along gREAT and there is no need for concern….. And peter was even thinking about showing harley around the city a bit that night (something he had not yet told harley, but wanted to make it seem like he was doing well and not acting too depressed in front of Dr. Strange) so dr strange is like yeah !!!!!! do that, that sounds super fun petey !!!!!! and so now they have evening plans
ok ps I wrote this like 2 weeks ago and completely forgot I posted something on Tumblr about this fic idea, and so this is literally just how I talk to myself. was not gonna ever post this but then I decided to because I'm bored. there are more sections but I'm not gonna post them rn because this post is really fucking long already!!!!
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voughtcorsair · 3 years
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please i would listen to you talk all you want about the charioteer. thoughts on the characters? favorite part? headcanons?!
ok i have to reread it to probably like align with the themes more lol but here goes !!
LAURIE......very well-rounded character i liked his arc and i think he seems very real and grounded with like. good flaws and good positive traits and like. overall just really well written. I love him so so so much i want to kiss his forehead and give him a cat. i think hes just idk .... i like him SO much and i think hes an absolute darling. i would have more thoughts but im half asleep
ANDREW! i think this ones interesting because apparently the "fandom" if u can call the three ppl that seem to exist in the tag that seem very split on if they would like him to be lauries bf or not.....i personally adore him he deserves to go apple picking but he seems very sheltered and like. idk. someone who u love with ur whole heart but u know it won't work out unless something changes or you'd met at a different time etc. This is he and laurie in my brain ↓
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RALPH ❤️ well i am partial to him because i understand about the boats and i understand wanting to take care of people :( Yayyyyy therapist friend hes definitely a cancer as well (sigh.) Same thing with the above w opinions split - i think that hes a really good bf for laurie and i like the ending i think he could just use proper therapy and a bit of a talking-to about boundaries . trying to be helpful to the point that its awful. sigh.. if i had to pick a character to kin i would pick him
NURSE ADRIAN! her and lauries friendship is so so so sweet :( i know she has a crush on him but i think after he leaves and they start writing to each other they become rly rly rly close friends instead and she gets a gf :-)
bunny.......bastard. jackass. im holding him by the scruff of his neck and swinging him around like a naughty cat but there's something about him that's intriguing and endearing ❤️ hes such a guy and so homosexual i adore him
alec - i would have quite liked to see more of him to be honest he seems so sweet but i simply do not remember a lot :( he feels very warm tho i would hug him
sandy - i think this was the sad one. i keep forgetting which is which but same w alec i would have liked to see like more insight into his character he seemed a little. Idk . idk...interesting but :(
reg ! i wish he was not so forgotten about i know ofc that was to highlight laurie moving away from that section of his life and all but i do feel bad for him because they were besties .... i think hes just sweet.
favourite part....i would have to reread to be coherent LOL but this is what i remember
theres a couple really really sweet scenes w ralph and laurie and one in which ralph is just like comforting him. is it too much to ask to be held.....
when andrew and laurie are in the garden and hanging out and it's like that beautiful sunny everything feels fairytale....i love those sorts of scenes
headcanons !!!! Of which i do not have many because it has been 10 hours since i finished the book and i am sooooo sleepy :-)
errrrrmmmmm everyone gets therapy. Yayyyyyyyy
andrew meets up with laurie and ralph a couple years after the war and sporadic letter writing and they sit down to have tea and catch up and then like a couple months later they r . In Love ..... i think its more suitable than trying to change core aspects of andrews character within the book canon itself and instead gives him more time to grow and be his own person and understand a lot more
ALSO THEY R ALL TRANS LOL or at least some flavour thereof. i think andrew is non binery . ralph is transmasc . laurie is like ermmm gender ? Not for me dear lol ❤️ !!!!!!
( nurse adrian is also trans :-) reg is cis but tries his best which is very sweet )
I dont actually recall how old mervyn is but i want to say heslike. 12....idk. Ralph and laurie become honorary uncle figures in his life :-)!!!! i think their friendship is so so so sweet. ralph teaches him interesting things like navigation and boats and tells stories and laurie is good for talking about feelings and interesting books and they all adopt a puppy .
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seasaltmemories · 4 years
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haru, ann, makoto, yusuke, and ryuji?
All are under the Cut:
Haru
How I feel about this character:
I like her! While I do agree that the fact she is recruited right when things kick into gear is kinda frustrating, I think she has a lot of great little moments that are overlooked, she is charming and cute
All the people I ship romantically with this character:
I am up for anything, but nothing stuck out in the game itself
My non-romantic OTP for this character:
Her friendship with Morgana and the entire Beauty Thief stuff is great
My unpopular opinion about this character:
I’m actually glad that her recruitment was nonstandard, it shook up the usual ‘oh person who is not supposed to be there wander in the Metaverse and turns out there is a persona user” while it doesn’t last for long, there are questions of if she could be Black Mask, and in general it makes it feel like the world doesn’t just revolve around what Joker sees on screen, the fact she is closer to other ppl than Joker (at least at first) is interesting
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:
A conversation with Akechi about the whole father murder thing would be great, I know she is a pretty private person, and if it happened it would likely be without Joker, but the fact she still tries to be polite to him while being upfront about not forgiving him is an interesting dynamic
my OTP:
None
my cross over ship:
Um how about she and Rinea from FE Echoes hook up?
a headcanon fact:
She definitely becomes an old rich cat lady living her best life, partner or no
Ann
How I feel about this character:
I love her! I think her presence after her arc is understated but a great part of the team, I just think she is a fun character I like to watch
All the people I ship romantically with this character:
Shiho, I might also be down for a quick, low stakes hook-up with Yusuke
My non-romantic OTP for this character:
Her and Joker’s confidant is really nice
My unpopular opinion about this character:
I like her confidant, like yeah the model stuff isn’t the deepest but it only gets brought up a few times and we still have the rest of it being her kinda having to deal with the guilt of not being there for a friend even though things were kinda out of her control
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:
I guess I wish her relationship with her body and sexuality was made a little more clear, the writing around that is an example of the game both wanting to appeal to fantasies and real life issues, from what i gathered she was fine with being sexy when she was the one who chose to do it, so it would have been nice if more of the fan-service stuff had her kinda initiating stuff
my OTP:
Her and Shiho
my cross over ship:
I could see her and Hilda von Goneril being fun
a headcanon fact:
I don’t think she continues staying a model for long, and over time kinda takes an unofficial mother figure role of looking out for newbies to make sure they aren’t being exploiting and using her influence to get creeps from getting more jobs
Makoto
How I feel about this character:
A fave, I think the game does a great job of balancing out her unlikable moments with being able to understand where she is coming from, and that tension in general made me like her all the more once I started coming around to her
All the people I ship romantically with this character:
Joker
My non-romantic OTP for this character:
Her and Sae were a great pair of sisters
My unpopular opinion about this character:
Again I also really liked her confidant, like Ann I think the Eiko stuff was very minor in the long run, and considering her strong sense of justice it made sense for hers to take place through an active investigation of sorts rather than her having a pity party for herself and spilling her past
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:
My bias might be showing again but I am curious about her relationship with Akechi, I doubt they were close but it feels realistic that she would know he was basically Sae’s intern, and while I doubt they interacted much one on one outside that one scene where he calls her nothing but a goody two shoes, I wouldn’t mind exploring it more
my OTP:
Joker
my cross over ship:
Hmm her and Utena Tenjou would be a great mix of “high intellect low wisdom” and beating up gross dudes
a headcanon fact:
I think she never loses her rebellious streak and ends up in like advocacy work against government corruption
Yusuke
How I feel about this character:
He’s nice, I do like his interesting relationship with Madarame, and think it has some of the most nuance in the game
All the people I ship romantically with this character:
Nothing really serious besides like I said that low-stakes hook-up with Ann
My non-romantic OTP for this character:
As I mentioned while not a good relationship, I still think his connection with Madarame is his most interesting
My unpopular opinion about this character:
Maybe my own sheltered weirdo art kid is showing, but he really isn’t as out-there as ppl claim, I was expecting a hammy off the walls character from what fandom showed, but if anything his is really quiet, withdrawn and again most of his eccentricities is just him having been really sheltered his whole life and having to adjust to living on his own, like in the grand scheme of things, buying lobsters just to draw them is something I could see ppl in my life doing and maybe joking about for two or three days before being completely forgotten
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:
I think he is the phantom thief that fades into the background the most, and I wish he had a bit more relevancy for the rest of the game, which is harder to do bc he isn’t the most social or touchy-feely outside of art, I wish I got a great sense of camaraderie at least from his reasons for sticking around besides “friends” feels very weak
my OTP:
Not really any
my cross over ship:
I could see something between him and Namine being sweet
a headcanon fact:
I don’t know the exact flavor, but I think he is misdiagnosed  neurodivergant and likely never really figures it out except maybe by the time he is middle age and has a stable life bc he and others around him write off the symptoms as the result of his weird upbringing and artsy nature
Ryuji
How I feel about this character:
He’s a character I don’t I could stand if he was real, but the game writing and framing does make me like him and his friendship with Joker comes off as very genuine
All the people I ship romantically with this character:
I am up for anything, but nothing stuck out in the game itself
My non-romantic OTP for this character:
Again him and Joker
My unpopular opinion about this character:
Lol I feel like I pissed off a lot of ppl by saying I couldn’t stand him if he was real, but really he is like the eptimone of teenage rage, like he has good reasons to be angry but he doesn’t really know how to cope with it in the right ways, like no offense but walking up to somebody and just asking “hey are you being abused” isn’t all that helpful to a victim and other little things that in a less power-fantasy narrative could go really wrong, I don’t think presenting those flaws is bad, and I don’t think he is a bad character, but as someone who has also had to carefully manage my anger, it hits me in a very “remembers bad memory and cringes way”
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:
Look I know teenagers can be horny and I am not against ever showing that, but i guess as a grown woman I could have done without all the “lets score some babes” talk
my OTP:
None
my cross over ship:
Doug from Rune Factory 4 could probably vibe with him but i think they’d both cool each other down
a headcanon fact:
Probably also when he is older, things are stable, and he finds a therapist he doesn’t feel patronized by, he does end up finding the experience meaningful
16 notes · View notes
szopenhauer · 4 years
Text
Is it easy to find a job in your preferred field in your hometown?           preferred field *chuckle*
Ladies: Would you ever consider proposing? If not, why not? Gentlemen: How would you feel, if you were proposed to?     yes, I have an idea
Have you ever played the original Mass Effect trilogy?           I haven’t
If so, which Shepard and who do you like romancing the best? -             
Let’s say there’s a person in need. They need money which they can’t make. Would you be more likely to help them out, if a celebrity asked you to?       celebs should help them, not me, I need help myself!
When you go to a restaurant, do you have a go-to dish? Or do you always try out something new? usually
Would you rather live next to a kindergarten or an old folks’ home?       old folks’ home for sure
What is the best part of your most ordinary day?   sleeping :x
Do you enjoy being on your own or are you happier when there’s a crowd around you?           I’m a loner/introvert
Do you ever look up what foreign idioms mean?     yep
What’s the strangest saying you’ve come across? I don’t recall atm
What’s a First World problem that you have?         hmm...
Have you ever made a parody version of a popular song?     me and my sister were doing puppet shows for our parents, mostly her ideas as she was forcing me to perform those until I got sick of that
Which game did you play the most as a kid during recess? nie bawiłam się w większość gier przez brak zdrowia, ale lubiłam plac z huśtawkami czy drabinkami, albo udawać rodzinę/dom i te fajne białe “krateczki” z kolorowymi “guziczkami” co jak się je wpinało w dziurki to układało się z nich obrazki (nie pamiętam nazwy)
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Is there a pattern on the pants you’re currently wearing? Which one? there isn’t
Does your mother annoy you when the holidays come along in the year? my mom annoys me all the time lol Do people ever ask you to do things they’re too short to accomplish? I’m too short but I manage and still some ppl sometimes ask me for help anyway Do you check the texture of things first or the smell of them? used to smell them but now just texture Have you ever broken the arm or head off of a figurine? How did you do this? I’m no Chunk :P
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Do you believe in superstitious things such as breaking a mirror? I wouldn’t do that on purpose but I don’t believe in most of the superstitions, luckily there are some things you can do to avoid bad luck like throw salt over your shoulder or knock on non painted wooden thingy etc. Do you get sick of people who call themselves bi polar all the time? I’m sick of ppl who use mental and physical illnesses as excuses when they don’t have them - single headache ain’t a migraine nor being an ass makes you a border, shut up! Ever have an ultra-sound performed on you?  more than once Do you like those ‘end of the world,’ ‘Armageddon’ movies? some are good, some not Ever been choked severely on something? just a feather Has anyone ever compared you to an animal? Which one(s)? several like monkey, raccoon or cat Ever been in one of those church Christmas plays before? Why/why not? I didn’t participate but I watched/looked at them when I was younger Have you ever thrown a roll of toilet paper at someone before? ... why? Have you ever found yourself talking to an inanimate object? at times I talk to my computer (because I hate it so we argue), kettle and fridge, also my stuffed animals of course Something on the human body that grosses you out the most: penis Ever think of what it would be like to be a mermaid or merman? I thought and I wouldn’t like it besides maybe finding some cool stuff that drown  What is something that bothers you about most surveys in general? creators lack imagination, they ask the same stuff over and over again, it’s boring What is your favorite color of apple? Red, green or yellow? red Ever want to be a doctor? Is it because of all the hospital shows? noooo Do you like drawing smiley faces or do you think they’re overrated? rarely and I’m ashamed of that tbh Are you someone who actually likes to babysit children? hell no but I’m not that bad at it Do you hardly ever remember where you put things at? I have good memory when it comes to that most of the time - not counting my green scissors grrrr Where did you last buy socks from? What do those socks look like? Archelan - Christmas themed and fuzzy  Do you ever lay in the grass and look up at the sky, just because? not as often as I’d like to? Are you afraid of being kidnapped if you go outside at nighttime? raped, killed or robbed more likely Do you like showers or baths better? Why did you choose your choice? baths as I like to sit and I don’t like the glass nor have water over my head  Are you a controversial person? Do your views oppose others? it seems Have you ever thrown a surprise party for someone? Who for? nah, I dislike surprises and there weren’t opportunities/possibilities to do that Do you tap fingernails on desks? hardly ever Have you ever wanted to be in a band? What position exactly? vocalist (who can play instruments) but I have no talent but don’t worry, it was a childish dream that fade away when I found out more about live of a band member Do you ever call your cousins just to talk to them randomly? nope, we don’t talk, just say HI if anything  Do you find any of your friends’ parents creepy or really mean? yep Do you ever had to wash your clothes at someone else’s house? camp When is the next time you’ll go to the library? Why is this? we’ll see, covid situation isn’t helpful and I can’t focus on books lately Do you treat others as you’d like to be treated? Have you always? I treat them how they treat me (not authority figures/dangerous ppl tho) Were you a really mean kid or a sweet and quiet kid? sweet and quiet Are you someone who likes to get in arguments or fights a lot? I don’t like to but I still end up arguing, sigh... How do you make sure people know you don’t like them at all? avoid them, block them, ignore them fight with them when they don’t stay away (not physically yet)
How much was the cell phone you have at this moment in time? about 200 PLN  What would you do if you woke up randomly with purple hair? cool but wonder how that happened What color is the closest desk to your body? What all is on it? ugly light brown with shitload of stuff The most painful medical procedure you’ve ever had? gonna have it soon so don’t remind me Ever have a dream you’re being abducted by aliens? Was it scary? aliens tried to abduct me in dreams but didn’t succeed ha!  What would you say is the color of your favorite bra? white Do you like people who are loud or people who are quiet? not too tiring but not completely silent either Does personality weigh out the sense of ‘good looks?’ look is important but not as much as personality for sure, it’s like 1:9 I think Do you hate it when people copy the things you do? could say so Has anyone ever told you that you’re good at cooking? r u kidding?... Do you have any enemies who you think are dangerous? anyone can be Do you ever try to squeeze information out of people? Konrad once told me I’m like a private detective about it because I’m so sneaky they don’t realize until it’s too late but I sadly forget infos quickly due to stress last months so it’s not as useful as it sounds Does it freak you out when the police drive/walk by? somehow Have you ever been pulled over by the cops for speeding? I don’t drive Is anyone in your family a firefighter? Who is it anyway? I had a friend who was a firefighter
Have you ever woken up to a good morning letter beside you? left in the kitchen but informative like - I went there or feed the dog etc. Would you ever get your nails done? I can do them myself if I ever want to
Are you afraid of worms? maggots Do you wear rings on your thumb? why not How many shirts of yours are red? less than 5 Does the color red look good on you? my first therapist told me I should wear it to be more brave but it causes anger in me so I prefer not to Do you pray before every meal? Sunday lunch with parents Have you ever been caught cheating on a test? not caught but been cheating in high school How many white tank tops do you own? 0? Do loud people bother you? omg YES Does your head itch? not currently but frequently Do you know anyone named John? my ex friend had a nickname like this Have you ever tried the cinnamon challenge? I’m not stupid Are you a fast runner? like Gimli Did you ever want a pet rabbit? no way
Do you ever want to own a house? apartment more likely How do you feel about men? blergh Do you know any police officers? my neighbor was a police officer Have you ever signed a petition? lots Have you ever aspired to start your own business? I wish Who is the oldest person living in the same building as you? mom The youngest? me Would you rather pay with cash or card? cash, cards make me nervous Have you ever used a pager? I have not Do you like visiting the beach? beachcombing is fun Do you like to buy things? but not spend money lmfao Have you ever been in a polygamous relationship? I didn’t know that I apparently am - jk Is there anyone you haven’t spoken to in a long time but you still think about daily? my grandma for example Would you like to be rich? not filthy, having enough money to live and not barely survive
have you ever behaved like a stalker? *crickets* can you lie and keep a straight face? poker face game strong when situation calls for it
have you ever feared for somebody else’s life? especially dad’s do you prefer honesty, even when it hurts? hard to tell if you could pick your own pet name, what would it be? picked my dog’s  have you ever masturbated while driving? wtf, don’t do that, gross how do you feel when someone takes the last of something? without asking? *cringe* how do you feel when people tell you “bless you” when you sneeze? thank you unless I sneeze many times in a row and they bless me every single time - then it’s annoying what are you supposed to say when somebody coughs? r u ok? have you ever committed a violent crime because of a video game or rap song? who said I play/listen to those? have you ever actually overheard one of your friends talking shit about you? possibly how many partners is too many? at once or in your entire life? do you believe that wearing an aluminum foil hat will stop the government from reading your thoughts? that reminds me of the RED movie XD
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would you rather have a hook for a hand or a peg leg? peg leg 100% elseway I’d end up with an eye cover as well if you know what I mean bonus points for/to being a pirate tho how close does someone have to be for you to feel obligated to wait and hold the door for them? either right behind me or carry heavy/big load do you examine the tissue after you blow your nose? for example when I worry about it bleeding  what is your cure for the hiccups? wait
Do you miss Brittany Murphy’s appearance in films? awwww she was such a good actress RIP
Is Christmas stressful? to me it is but I’m stressed 24/7
Do you make your own smoothies or juices? meh
Do you think time really does heal all? NO
Are you more sensitive to heat or the cold? cold
Did you care at all when Steve Jobs died? ... he died?
Has anyone searched your room for anything recently? my mother for dirty laundry
When do you decorate for Christmas? as soon as possible
Would you be cool with wearing sweatpants to the grocery store? yes
Have you ever been pranked via a hidden camera? am glad that didn’t happen 
Do you know any of those people who are depressed during the winter? I’m depressed year round
If a job makes you unhappy, do you choose to stay or leave? if I can change it without ending up on the street then I leave
How does your being here in the universe change humanity for the better? nothing? Who is a person that you don’t like yet you spend time with? my family member[s] How is your relationship with money? we don’t see each other as often as I’d like to ;) get it?  How do you feel about growing old someday? won’t live that long
Are you wearing two shirts? too hot for that Have you ever owned the socks with toes on them? disgusting! Can you point out constellations in the night sky? I can not What was your favorite part about studying ancient Greeks and Romans? not interested What’s the last thing you bought at a mall? food, antibacterial gel and a blanket
Is there someone who you can turn to for money and not be ashamed? parents but I’ll feel crappy about it  Have you ever swam in a river? as a child Are there any dirty clothes underneathe your bed? ewww seriously?  What food do you love the smell of while it’s cooking? smells make me sick In what month do you start Christmas shopping? I seek presents whole year then store them for later Have you ever had a crush on a celebrity of the same sex? as a lesbian What kind of flowers would you plant in your garden? bushes, grass, moss and trees, wild flowers, if they want to grow, can stay  Do you believe that kids should be taught abstinence? I agree When’s the next time you’ll go to the grocery store? not in next weeks
Where’s your car keys? not applicable Did you keep any momentos of school dances? pics Do you still have clothes from your high school? and middle school  Do you think you could do better drawings than Napolean Dynamite? this question...
Do you own anything skull print? had a shirt that I gave to John ages ago Who are the three people you consider yourself closest to? parents and my gf Which ex of yours means the most to you? my partner as we’re back together Have you taken prescription medications that didn’t belong to you? oh well... How are your social skills? awkward Have you ever stayed at a hotel for longer than two months? I’m poor Do you ever go outside to look at the stars? there were some days in past summers when me and dad been going to stadium for a walk at night, that’s when and where we saw UFO  Who breaks away from the kiss first? she as she forgets to breathe  Do you know what you weigh? thx for a reminder - they’ll ask in hospital Have you ever smoked anything other than tobacco? one cigarette was all that I smoked in me life Have you ever ridden on the back of a motorcycle? nope Do you say koala bear or simply koala? koala  Do you usually travel anywhere in the winter? I’d freeze brrr Do you wait for someone else to take the garbage out when it’s full? we take turns Are most of your friends white? it’s not America so...
Does your hair reach your boobs? not even my shoulders
What’s something that fills you with anxiety? what doesn’t?...
What age do you think is too old to still live with your parents? there’s no expiration date
Have you ever watched Bob’s Burgers? fragments
Has a teacher ever caught and read a note you were passing in class? I wasn’t that much of a note passer 
Do you know anyone who is afraid of horses? nah
Do you clean things that are already clean when you’re bored? tha hell?...
Would you rather live in a tropical or arctic climate? tropical
What do you do when someone overweight complains about being overweight? I say it’s important to be healthy but weight isn’t always a sign of being ill
Is there any Irish, Scottish, or Danish in your heritage? none that I know of
Do you find Asians attractive? yes and no
Have either of your parents ever been to jail? nooooo
Keep Calm and Carry On or Screw Calm and Get Angry? there’s time for one of each?
Do you think Urban Outfitters is overpriced? like every other similar store 
Are your colarbones prominent? yeah
Have you ever in your life worn overalls? I have indeed
How did you react when you heard Whitney Houston had died? sorry but I didn’t care
Do you think Helena Bonham Carter is attractive? she is
Would you rather listen to Dolly Parton or Dusty Springfield? Dolly
Are you watching The Walking Dead? I’m scared of zombies and gore 
Are you a light sleeper? became lighter
Would you consider cuddling cheating? it’s complicated
What does the purse/bag you last used look like? it’s black with red embroidery and white beads
Can you make a clover with your tongue? impossible
What’s your favorite coffee brand/flavor? I don’t drink coffee
Is your belly button pierced? no piercings!
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bunnyblooms · 4 years
Note
OKAY FUCKER ALL THE QUESTIONS FROM THAT ASK MEME THE LGBT ONE
1. Identity and pronouns.
I'm agenderfluid and they/them pronouns. My sexuality is aroflux and asexual.
2. How did you discover your sexuality?
Pretty much at 14 was like "idk i don't relate to everyone else i don't find celebrities hot or sex remotely something i want. If i could reproduce without sex i would. Oh. I'll just call myself asexual, like a sponge!" (Which asexual is incidentally what the creators of Spongebob were going for, fun facts. Spongebob is ace rights.)
3. Have you experienced being misgendered? How do you overcome it?
Mmmm I am constantly misgendered bc I'm nonbinary and live in a binary society and the way I compartmentalize it is basically just dressing how I want and not making an attempt to pass as anything tbh. The only time I feel misgendered is when someone knows my pronouns and doesn't use them anymore tbh. So basically. Letting go of how I want to be perceived helped. I will say tho, I refuse to come out to my dad bc he won't respect it and it'll be more painful hearing him misgender me knowing how I identify, but. That's certainly a privilege I have since I'm not transitioning. (ATM at least.)
4. Who was the first person you told? How did they react?
I technically didn't come out as ace. My ex-best friend knew bc I talked about it, but neither of us knew it was an identity. So the transition upon finding the label was virtually nonexistent and all of my friends were LGBTQ as well so it wasn't stressful or shocking. It helps that around the time I discovered the label I'd met two friends who were ace and felt the same way I did. My experience with my asexuality is definitely the model that should be the norm with the community and what we as a society should aim for.
As for my gender I'd made comments in the past that I wished I could just be genderless and it really kind of sat with me when my ex-best friend came out as trans bc I was like "Oh? You don't have to be the gender you are at birth?" Belial from Angel Sanctuary was a character that resonated with me at the time, and this was right around the time I made my ace friends. It wasn't until a year later that I discovered the nb community and one friend who was genderfluid that I decided to start trying different pronouns. And basically I came out as questioning and transitioned to nb without a formal declaration, which I also feel should be the goal for society.
I was at a con with my best friend at the time who was trans and he'd come out with my now ex-best friend while they were dating. And I was really anxious bc I felt like ppl would assume I was a transtrender and shit, and my friend said something about gender and I kind of awkwadly implied I might not identify as female and he was really great about it! He was like "If you wanna talk about it or try different pronouns you can." :D
5. Describe what it was like coming out.
I pretty much did this im question 4 hehehe.
6. If you're out, how did ppl react?
I'm not out to family, that I know of. They found my facebook which has my identity listed in my about, so I'm in limbo with them where none of us talk about it so idk if they register it as an LGBTQ thing or not.
My friends were all supportive! It helps that I have like no cishet friends lmao.
I also came out to my class on TDOV two years ago for a project where we step outside our comfort zone. I'm luckily in the social work program which has social justive built into the tenants of the profession so it was pretty positive! People still misgendered me after and were more concerned with "but i'm scared of ppl getting angry at me what should i do to talk about this with them" which. 9__9 Not surprising. But there was a mom whose kid and her kid's partner are both genderfluid and bigender so it was a good experience and I had an ally which made me comfortable in sharing it in the first place.
7. What is one question you hate ppl asking about your sexuality?
Inevitably when I say I'm ace, non-aces assume I have no interest in dating which. Way to conflate being aroace with ace and ignore that there are aros and aces who want relationships. That's my biggest pet peeve.
8. Describe the style of clothing you often wear.
I wear flannels and ripped jeans or shorts mainly. I basically dress like a butch lesbian. I'll wear dresses and stuff but I do not like dressing femme and prefer to offset softer things with hard things. Like. When I wear dresses I have to wear clunky combat boots with them or have short hair or something.
9. Who are your favorite LGBTQ+ ships?
Hmmm. Depends if you mean canon or not. Canon, it's probably FigAyda from D20 and Catradora from She-ra. Shion/Nezumi from No.6 is also one of my faves. There's also Chie and Ai from Virgin's Empire. Blupjeans from The Adventure Zone and JonMartin from The Magnus Archives.
As for Not Confirmed ships, I like Flick/CJ from Animal Crossing, Tsuna/Enma from Katekyo Hitman Reborn, uhhh. Reigisa from Free!, Kanji/Naoto from Persona and Chihiro/whatever the fuck his name is Mondo? Or the other guy I forget, from Danganronpa. Also RenLaw, RenStrade, and VinceLaw+VinceFarz from BTD.
(I am including straight relationships involving trans ppl obv.)
10. What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?
I hate how I look with make up it makes me dysphoric. But to me makeup is a good expressive outlet and bomb as hell, so when I do wanna wear makeup, I prefer wearing eyeliner and lipstick (esp in black or blue or green or purple) and glitter.
11. Do you experience dysphoria? How does it affect you?
I experience what I refer to as Silhouette Dysphoria a lot. I experience chest dysphoria but a lot of times it's less about me having them at all and me not liking how I look with them. The same goes for my hips and overall shape. Hence silhouette. I also experience genital dysphoria to a lesser degree, and when I do it's less hating my genitals bc they should be different but more just having any at all. Luckily I was born with internal genitalia so I don't have to think about it as much. Social dysphoria I also experience, but I've talked about that already.
How I deal with it is binding and stuff.
12. What is the stupidest thing you've heard said about the LGBTQ+ community?
Hmm. The ppl who genuinely argue that accepting the community means you'll be forced to accept pedophilia or beastiality. Like. Lmao no?
13. Favorite thing about the community?
I just love how great it feels to be in it tbh. It can be so positive and loving and just genuinely make you feel good about yourself.
14. Least favorite thing about the community?
Exclusionists.
15. Have you ever been to your city's pride event?
No, but I went to Pride in Des Moines!!! IT WAS GREAT!
16. Favorite LGBTQ+ celebrity?
I don't really follow celebrities, but probably Ian McEllen and Tim Gunn.
17. Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?
I was in a relationship for a while with a friend of mine and it was wonderful tbh. We met in a server and started talkng more, and started out as qpps then became partners and like we broke up, but I still enjoyed the experience and wouldn't go back in time and stop it from happening. My other qpp tho. That's something I would do lmao.
I also have a bf but that's a secret~
18. Favorite LGBTQ+ book.
I haven't read a lot of books, so I guess I have to say The Raven Cycle bc that's the only one I remember reading.
19. Have you ever faced discrimination?
Mmmm the only time I have experienced direct discrimination I was giving a friend valentines chocolate in high school and some kid called me a d*ke when i walked past him.
The other stuff is like. My therapist telling me to check for a hormone imbalance when I said I was asexual.
20. Favorite LGBTQ+ movie/show?
She-ra, "To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything", The Runaways (the movie not the show), No. 6.
21. Favorite LGBTQ+ bloggers?
I don't have any lmao.
22. Which slur do you want to reclaim?
Queer, bc it's already been reclaimed and it fits me.
23. Have you ever gone to a gay bar or drag show? How was it?
Nope. Never, but it'd be fun!!
24. How do you idrntify your gender?
Already answered this lol.
25. Interested in having kids?
Nope. I'd be too scared of screwing them up.
26. What identity service would you give your younger self?
I wish I'd known there was an ace community before I was older tbh. So that, probably.
27. What do you think of gender roles in relationships?
I personally like playing a feminine role, but I also think gender roles are unecessary, so like. As long as I'm an equal I don't care what role I play lmao. If you wanna treat me like the handmaiden, as long as you're not doing it bc you see me as a woman I don't care.
28. Anything else you wanna share about your gender?
Nah. Just. I don't bother trying to pin it down anymore bc the more I analyze it the less I understand it.
29. Something you wish ppl knew about being LGBTQ+?
Hmmmm not really. It's fun outside of the systemic oppression?
30. Why are you proud to be LGBTQ+?
For me it's less about pride in being LGBTQ+ and more being proud to express myself authentically. 🤷
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kendrixtermina · 5 years
Text
Disclaimer For Potential Partners (f/m/x)
Writing this down as much to gather my thoughts and go into this with clear priorities as for possible future reference. 
My mother always told me that if you wanted everyone to like you, you’d have to be a 50 dollar bill. I have come to accept that I’m more like licorice. Some people aren’t gonna like me but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t others who would appreciate me. 
I’d rather you run away screaming NOW than in three years when we’re both invested so Let’s get all this out of the way:
I’m bisexual. Yes, I’ve dated dudes in the past. I’ve had a brief online flirt with an agender person and do think androgynous ppl are hot which I suppose would make me pan in some ppl’s books, at this point the choice in label is purely aesthetic. I’m looking for a female partner right now because I’ve always had a slight preference for girls anyways but a sufficiently compatible non-female would not be refused. 
Because ppl have gotten this wrong in the past: Preference is about how likely you are to notice that someone is hot in the first place like in the early stages. It doesn’t mean my attachment to those dudes was any less “real” (or the other way around!) I just flat out don’t care whats in your pants there are other things to be picky about
From since I was young, the message I got from music, books etc is that it’s pretty bad to say “I love you” unless you truly mean it. So I don’t say “I love you” until I’m 100% sure I can do that it good conscience. It seems that it takes me a bit longer to be sure than most people, but it’s not like I’ve conducted statistics on this
I’m not vegan/vegetarian and I’m never going to be vegan/vegetarian
I’m not a pet person 
I’m not a sporty person and I’m never going to be a sporty person
Go through my stuff, spy on me in any way or ask me to tell you where I am at all times and its over
I’m an antiprohibitionist and don’t think there’s anything morally wrong with taking recreational substances. Conversely, I’m not interested in that sort of thing as a full-on lifestyle either. 
I try to keep an open mind and try everything once but im probably not gonna reorganize my life around new age woo-woo. 
So far my folks have liked most my partners, but if our social circles don’t get along I’m comfortable with leaving them separate. 
I believe in judging people as individuals first. I don’t wanna hear no paranoid shit about “the muslims” or other stereotypical carricatures but if you’re gonna be “europeans that europeans this” as if im not in the room its not gonna work. 
Don’t be fooled by the foreign-sounding surname im a potato through and through. No exotic fanservice to be had here. 
Barring unforseen dictatorships, I don’t want to move out of Europe. I like it here. Its full of frustrating dumbasses but so is the rest of the world.  Yay for cheese and consumer protection laws! I would consider moving closer to the shore though. 
It’s fine if you don’t speak German but you should not hate or dislike it.  English is a plus because me, my friends and my family are into internet culture
I haven’t spoken to my father in five years. No, you’re not going to patch this up. You don’t have to ignore him too if you’re not comfortable but you’ll have to respect my choice instead of playing family therapist or throwing platitudes about forgiveness at me. 
Im not counting and it depends on your definition but Ive fucked at least 15-20 people, which according to statistics is above average? Always used rubber unless it was long-term and exclusive tho. That might bother some ppl. 
That said it has been my conclusion that fucking does nothing that a beer can’t do and that the real quality stuff is what you could already do as a grade schooler when you still thought of all the grownup stuff as mystical. Having ice cream together, exploring new places, having contemplative conversations in the rain, telling each other your fantasies? That’s The Stuff. 
Hence while I wouldn’t turn down some fuckage along the way what im looking for at this point is someone to share life and grow old with, like there doesn’t need to be the expectation of further strings but the end goal RN is to find One That Sparks Joy(TM) that will get precedence
I’m not big on material gifts or the ritual part of dating if thats important to you I might not be the ideal candidate, but if its not thats probably good for your wallet
I’m a strong introvert. Sometimes I go weeks without talking to anyone other than my boss or maybe texting my relatives. If you’re very introverted or work alot this might be an advantage. Of course if I love you I will try my best to match up to your attention needs but if you need your partner to text you 15 times every day to feel good I might just not be your cup of tea
That doesn’t mean im not interested in going on or doing new experiences. I very much hope to do that together with you just not 5 days a week - if you can’t give new things wholehearted tries things might get uncomfortable
I like spicy food and all sort of asian cousine, but if you can’t stand the sight of cheese, asparagus and sausage it’s not gonna work either. I can obviously put less chili in your portion. 
I tend to talk fast and I find it hard to stop it even if I try, if that bothers you look elsewhere
I cannot stand forced optimism OR over-the top misanthropy or snobbishness. I will gush about things, but I like my dark edgy content and I stand by it. It is an advantage if you like talking about art. If you don’t like morbid humor that might be a problem
No diet talk
No perfectionism
No passive aggressive ppl or ppl that are uncomfortable with direct confrontation. That won’t work, we’d just set each other off even without meaning to and it would just be sad. If Im doing something wrong don’t expect me to notice by magic, tell me to my face so I can fix it. Don’t be hostile out of nowhere and don’t beat around the bush. 
im not religious or spiritual. I don’t mind if you are but if you want to have kids and bring them up strongly-immersed in some Abrahamic faith im not sure if this is the right adress
No anti-intellectualism (no snobbery, elitism or smartassery either - as a wise pig once said, “Knowledge is a horizon to strive for, not a prize to hold in your hand” It begins with realizing what you don’t know)
Indifferent about monogamy, but I wouldn’t say that I’m the sort of person who needs non-monogamy either.  If you want to we can do it (write me out some list of where you draw the lines so there’s no misunderstandings) but if you don’t it’s no biggie. I don’t care if you fuck 10 other people - for me, respect, honor and loyalty are to do with other things, like, don’t make fun of me and don’t expect me to change because one (1) person said I’m weird or whatever.
Don’t give me diseases tho. I’ll take precautions to extend the same courtesy to you.  
Potential character flaws: I can be a tad sensitive, disorganized and defensive sometimes, not gonna sugarcoat it. I have no filter and curse like a sailor. Also I have zero social skills and sometimes I come across as either angry or unemotional when its really the opposite. I find that just as confusing and contradictory as that sounds, I have like zero sense of how I come off. I try to be aware of all of these and do right to everyone to the best of my ability but if you’re sensitive about any of these point someone else might be a better fit 
2 kids max. I’m not sure I’ll have ANY at this point, and most certainly not in the next 5 years. IF we decide to have some later I volunteer to carry them though, I probably have good genes, my mom popped out 4 babies in 6 years with nary a complication. Besides I’d rather it was me dealing with the gross pregnancy stuff than someone I love
My favorite bedroom stuff is fingers-in-front-cavity and butt stuff. Mild sleepsex fetish but nothing super pronounced. What I don’t like or just am not very good at is top/bottom play. 
So far most my partners have had somewhat stronger sex drive than me but Id argue that I very much have one and ive never refused unless I was in physical pain, severely sleep-deprived or working on some important work-related thing that was due the next day. 
It’s important - and science backs me up on this - that you can freely talk to each other in n open, natural and relaxed manner
If you think im weird just do us both the favor and stay away don’t come at me with the attitude that you’re gonna mold me to your desires - even just writing this comes off kinda touchy but im saying this because some people out there really don’t get it. Like my natural tendency is to be open, courious and realistic,  but some people see that as free real estate and then it falls to me to be the reasonable one and End The Madness and im tired of that.
Like I want to be able to give love and pour out all my inner romantic shit without having to be afraid of being fucked over I want to be able to trust you with my inner harley quinn as well as my inner phantom of the opera 
UGH that sounded a bit tryhard didn’t it? But its the best description i could come up with
Must remember to translate this into mordor speak later
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cosmostellar · 6 years
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Connie in Stevens role au
Connie was mostly raised by the crystal gems, struggles with social interactions, feels isolated from the Beach City ppl
a first few episodes are mostly just Connie interacting with the gems, you get to know who the gems are on the surface level + Connie’s father is introduced
Connie’s dad is still a security guard and Connie is very insistent that it’s not only her moms who fight for the gems, her dad does too!!
Doug is initially disregarded as a “just human” by the gems, but later becomes a more active part of the team and is never left helpless
however, he does travel throughout the entire state most of the time
he always finds some time for his daughter when Connie wants to talk via phone and loves her deeply, but sometimes Connie feels like he isn’t there enough which only adds to her general anxiety
Connie is a pretty cautious person, her big issue at first is how much she overthinks things and hesitates - she wants to help the gems but she isn’t sure how
she brings the fresh blood of new ideas and new outlook into the gems’ life
she reads A LOT, both fiction and non-fiction, and often talks to the crystal gems about the past events, even the brutal ones such as wars; easily makes connections between whatever she reads about and whatever is happening in the gems’ lives or happened in the gem history, is more inquisitive abt the gem history than Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl wish she was at this age
Pearl constantly gets fictional stories and non-fiction mixed up sfddsfd Connie is like “George Washington” and Pearls like “oh isnt he that mage from that book youve read last summer???”
Pearl is EXTREMELY frustrated abt things such as Arthurian myths because it EITHER IS HISTORY OR IT ISNT HISTORY WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT CONNIE
and Connie is like “well you were there right???”
Pearl, remembering how she was thirsting after Rose in the middle ages: .......i do not think i was in that particular place during that time period, no
oh RQ =/= PD in this au, Rose Quartz was just a soldier with a lot of secrets who helped an enslaved Pearl escape, she did indeed shatter Pink Diamond + Pearl was indeed a renegade
the Bismuth arc plays out COMPLETELY DIFFERENT because Connie always needs to see and understand all sides of the conflict and even then she sometimes can’t decide or feels uncomfortable with deciding, in a way she is fascinated by Bismuth’s new perspective but v unsure bcs this is not how she was taught, they sit down and talk together for a very long time
Connie is generally not as uncomfortable with the idea of killing for the greater good since she knows history, she still feels weird with the idea of doing it herself and would rather spare people if she had to
she sometimes struggles with expressing or even understanding her feelings very much which makes the gems initially think she’s much more mature and responsible than she really is
Amethyst is from the beginning introduced with attempts to deal with her issues; she tries to put her self-worth into the hands of others, that is, she is the one who goes to Beach City, she is the one known by everyone there, she seems outgoing, she has friends there
or rather “friends” bcs no one really knows how insecure Amethyst is under all this Attitude, they only know one side of her and Amethyst feels even worse because in some way she is just fooling people into liking her since she can’t make Garnet and Pearl like her
she doesn’t realize that the part of her Beach City people like is also her
Connie is just the awkward girl always hanging in the background and has a much worse relationship w/ Beach City people than Amethyst does, she has a hard time connecting to people
first real attempts she makes are actually bcs Amethyst encourages her to do so which probably leads to Connie discovering more abt Amethyst’s self-worth issues
(before that Amethyst is kinda The Coolest for Connie since Connie really wishes she was better with people and Amethyst has that trait, people look at her and talk to her and she is amazing and Connie is just there, too awkward to stutter a full sentence)
at some point after shes more socially developed Connie decides to actually go to school because there are so many things the gems simply can’t teach her (this is also connected to her arc of idealizing the gems less and less, she has so many questions they are unable to answer)
during the Homeworld arc Connie tries to get her way out of there, helps Blue Zircon with the case, they actually manage to run away together
Blue Zircon is super anxious after that and Connie is too so its GREAT
there would be no murder mystery so there’d have to be a different kind of trial put there BUT: Connie takes Blue Zircon to Earth and they become very very good friends because they are both extremely inquisitive and interested in puzzles and logical solutions
Connie shows Blue Zircon mystery novels and Blue Zircon is DELIGHTED
Connie-Peridot mutual awkwardness
Peridot and Lapis are an actual addition to the cast, appear regularly, have their own motives
EACH BEACH CITY EPISODE IS MADE TO FURTHER AN ARC OF ONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS, EITHER CONNIE OR ONE OF THE GEMS
at first they are mostly abt Connie’s social anxiety and her attempts at understanding the human part of her heritage better, she reads about it a lot but she wants to have a better insight in practice
and also the whole Amethyst thing
an episode that is just Pearl taking Connie to some party the kids from school throw
Pearl thinks it’ll be HardcoreTM but its really just kids sitting around talking, Pearl is awkward
gOOD GOD LET PEARL HAVE ACTUAL INTERACTIONS WITH HUMANS, LET PEARL STOP SEEING THE PLANET EARTH AS ROSES-AND-ONLY-ROSES THING, LET PEARL FALL IN LOVE WITH THE THING SHE’S FIGHTING FOR FINALLY BECAUSE OF THIS INCREDIBLE LITTLE HALF-HUMAN WHO WONT LET HER FORGET THAT PEOPLE CAN BE COOL
at some point after heavy stuff happens Connie starts seeing a therapist
Lapis is also encouraged to do so, the idea Lapis is at first repulsed by and it takes her some time to actually see it in the realm of possibilities
Connie starts seeing a therapist because of Doug’s influence and help
Doug, as a guard, went through pretty heavy stuff himself and therapist’s help is just a very natural part of his life and he knows it helps and he doesnt want to leave his daughter completely alone with her psyche after so many fucked up events including the whole intergalactic war thing
Lapis and Peridot do live together but only after they get to know each other better and are able to be healthier and more functional with each other
Lapis doesnt know where to stay and for some time shes just a free bird, she disappears and reappears randomly; she is afraid of commitment, she is afraid of finding someone she’ll like, she is terrified of facing her own feelings, its bizzare how shes finally free and all she really wants is to lie somewhere and die
in some ep she meets Doug who kinda takes care of her in this non-invasive way Lapis needs which makes Lapis come back more and more; she doesn’t officialy travel with him but she kinda does, for some time
bcs goddamit Lapis’s problems are fucking heavy and she needs adults who will help her figure it out, Connie is like what, thirteen??
aka: Lapis is Doug’s grumpy adopted teenage daughter and you can f ight me
also Pearl dates some human women, then Bismuth is unbubbled and after some time she and Pearl slowly start having a thing
it’s an incredible chance for Pearl to actually revise her past: to bring the events of the war to the surface and see them from a new perspective, to have a new understanding of herself and her past actions, to finally deal with all those heavy fucked up feelings that have never been properly worked through because Rose never really gave her the chance or support to do so
it’s sometimes very ugly, and it’s a lot of crying, and sometimes Pearl is just weeping silently for a very, very long time, but Bismuth is there for her
since Bismuth isnt rebubbled in this au bcs Connie actually listens to her point, Bismuth is keeping up the facade of just being magically found in the lion for some time more
one day when Pearl is just hanging with her in her workshop Bismuth finally tells her abt why Rose bubbled her which brings a whole new light to the picture of Rose Quartz Pearl has; Pearl has never thought that Rose could bubble someone like this, especially someone like Bismuth
Pearl is the support Bismuth needs, Bismuth is the support Pearl needs
Lion actually has a name here bcs Connie names him - more specifically, like 343234 different names because Connie is so damn indecisive
Connie asks questions. so many questions
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screwcool-a · 6 years
Text
screwcool’s  timeline.
please don’t rb !
february thirteenth ,   1967 .    nancy  ruth  wheeler  is  born .  she  is  a  quiet  kid .  she  doesn’t  cry  much ,  and  sometimes  to  the  point  that  her  mother  is  worried  if  she’s  alright .     doctors  assure  her  there’s  nothing  worrying  about  it .  some  children  are  like  that .
1971 .  mike  wheeler  is  born .  nancy  loves  her  little  brother .  she’s  instantly ,  instinctively  protective  over  him .  she  sometimes  sneaks  into  her  parents’  room  at  night  to  check  in  on  his  crib .
september ,  1972 .  nancy  starts  school .   she  stands  out  as  a  smart  kid ,  dedicated  to  devouring  knowledge  from  the  very  start .  the  teachers  are  impressed ,  but  to  the  other  kids  she  only  floats  by .  her  existence  is  discrete . she  tends  to  allow  herself  to  become  glued  to  the  month’s  subject ,  and  focuses  solely  on  that .
november ,   1973 .  nancy  becomes  friends  with  barbara  holland .  they  are  inseparable .  neither  of  them  garner  much  attention  from  the  other  kids  their  age ,  and  they  find  a  kinship  in  their  quiet .
july ,  1974 .  ballet  classes  begin .  karen  is  ecstatic  that  nancy  has  even  a  minute  amount  of  interest  in  dance .  but  she  hates  the  feeling  of  performing ,  and  anxiety  mounts  before  every  recital .  she  only  likes  to  dance  in  class ,  or  alone .
september ,  1974 .  nancy  holds  close  to  her  first  ever  secret ,  one  she  doesn’t  even  tell  barb  about  :  she  thinks  she  likes  a  boy .  she  tells  no  one !
april ,  1980 .  nancy  is  thirteen  and  her  white  sneakers  are  scuffed .  she’s  been  getting  better  at  noticing  the  world  around  her .  she  still  loves  school ,  but  is  trying  to  put  more  focus  into  socializing .  she  and  barb  stick  together  and  become  floaters ,  drifting  from  one  social  group  to  the  next .
may ,  1980 .   nancy  sits  at  the  dinner  table  and  plays ,  absent - mindedly ,  with  her  food .  she  listens  to  her  mother  complain  about  one  of  the  girls  at  nancy’s  school  :  laurie  o’leary .  she  heard  from  mrs.  connelly ,  who  heard  from  mrs.  bascom ,  who  heard  from  her  daughter  that  laurie  had  gotten  pregnant  by  one  of  the  guys  on  the  football  team .  THAT’S  GONNA  RUIN  HIM !   mrs.  wheeler  had  spoken  so  surely ,  with  a  false  empathy .  that  girl’s  –––  that  girl’s  no  good ,  is  what  she  is .  nancy  reads  the  word  slut  between  the  lines ,  a  word  she  hears  repeated  in  the  hallways  as  the  kids  at  school  sneer  and  snicker  at  the  newly  ostracized  o’leary  girl .
august ,  1980 .  holly  wheeler  is  born .  karen  is  too  distracted  to  care  that  nancy  has  quit  ballet .
late  october ,  1983 .  steve  and  nancy  go  on  their  first ,  unofficial ,  non - date .  she’s  not  sure  what  it  is ,  but  she  can’t  stop  smiling  when  she  calls  barb  to  tell  her  about  it  right  after .
november eighth ,  1983 .  nancy  goes  to  totally - not - boyfriend  steve’s  pool  party .  she’s  feeling  good ,  and  normal ,  and  like  a  real  teenager  for  the  first  time  in  her  life .  she  feels  good .  she  and  steve  sleep  together .  she  could  swear  she  hears  something ,  something  like  her  name  called ,  but  she  doesn’t  give  it  more  than  a  split - second  of  thought .  she’ll  always  regret  this .
november  ninth ,  1983 .  barb  is  missing .  nancy  knows  this .
november  eleventh ,  1983 .  nancy  enters  the  upside  down  as  she  searches  for  barb  with  jonathan  byers .  she  comes  face  to  face  with  the  monster  .  it’s  a  sight  she’s  never  able  to  erase  from  her  head .  she  remembers  it  in  detail ,  excruciating  and  painful .
november  twelfth ,  1983 .  all  the  right  moves  starring  nancy  the  slut  wheeler .  the  town  knows  her  now ,  as  one  of  those  no - good  girls .  this  time ,  however ,  there  are  no  lines  to  read  between .  kids  can  be  cruel .  later  this  day ,  it  is  determined  that  barb  is  no  longer  missing .  barb  is  dead .  and  nancy  can’t  tell  anyone .  she’s  shattered .
november  fifteenth ,  1983 .  nancy  is  able  to  sleep  for  the  first  time  since  what  happened .  she  gets  four  hours .  she  wakes  crying .
early  december ,  1983 .  nancy  and  steve  get  back  together  after  a  brief  break .  she  buries  her  trauma .  she  won’t  tell  him  it  hurts .  she  won’t  tell  anyone .
february  eighth ,  1984 .  karen  takes  nancy  to  a  therapist  in  the  city .  she’s  diagnosed  with  anixety ,  panic  and  depression ,  and  is  offered  medication .  despite  her  concern  for  stigma ,  she  takes  them .  she  asks  her  mom  to  promise  not  to  tell  anyone .  she  keeps  them  hidden  in  the  top  drawer  of  her  nightstand .
february seventeenth ,  1984 .   nancy  feels  she  should  be  feeling  better .  but  she  isn’t .  it’s  too  early  for  the  pills  to  take  noticeable  affect ,  but  the  slowness  is  killing  her .  her  nightmares  are  horrific .  she  steals  the  old  coffee  machine  her  mother  stores  in  the  bottom  right  cabinet  and  sneaks  it  into  her  room  and  under  her  bed .  she  tries  to  stay  awake  as  much  as  possible  to  avoid  the  dreams .  ignoring  them ,  at  least ,  might  help  a  little .  she  thinks .
june ,  1984 .  nancy  has  been  punishing  herself  for  a  week  and  a  half  now  by  not  taking  her  medication .  she  feels  empty ,  and  lonely ,  and  she  isn’t  sure  why .  she’s  begun  to  distance  herself  from  steve .  she’s  been  convincing  herself  he  doesn’t  love  her .  he  couldn’t ,  anyway .
july  eighteenth ,  1984 .  on  a  particularly  bad  night ,  nancy  cuts  off  her  hair .  she  reclaims  herself .  or ,  she  tries .  it  proves  a  failure ,  and  she  sits  alone  in  her  room ,  crying .
october  thirtieth ,  1984 .  barb’s  parents  have  hired  an  investigator  to  look  into  her  disappearance .  they’re  moving ,  too .  nancy  feels  as  though  she’s  responsible  for  their  strife .  it  feels  strange  not  to  be  able  to  tell  them .
october  thirty - first ,  1984 .  tina’s  party .  nancy  and  steve  fight .  nancy  backs  out  and  jonathan  takes  her  back  home .
november  first ,  1984 .  steve  and  nancy  break  up .  while  talking  to  jonathan  about  what  happened ,  nancy  gets  an  idea .  
november  second ,  1984 .  the  pair  purposely  get  caught  by  the  lab  and  record  a  confession  of  the  lab  being  responsible  for  what  happened  to  barb  and  will .
november  third ,  1984 .  nancy  and  jonathan  seek  out  the  help  of  murray  bauman ,  private  investigator  hired  by  the  hollands .  they  release  a  simplified  retelling  of  the  truth .  she  thinks  she  should  feel  better .  she  doesn’t .  nancy  and  jonathan  sleep  together* .
november fourth ,  1984 .  nancy  and  jonathan  return  to  hawkins  and  meet  back  up  with  steve  and  the  kids ,  then  the  adults .  they  work  together  to  defeat  the  mind - flayer .  nancy  and  steve  have  little  closure .  nancy ,  jonathan ,  joyce ,  and  will  go  to  hopper’s  cabin  to  heat  the  mind - flayer  out  of  will .  here ,  nancy  stabs  will  with  a  hot  poker .  
mid - november ,  1984 .  the  lab  is  closed .  nancy  still  doesn’t  feel  complete .
late november ,  1984 .  barb’s  funeral .  nancy  attends  with  jonathan  and  steve ,  both .  she  thanks  steve  for  coming ,  awkwardly ,  and  then  distances  herself  from  the  both  of  them  for  a  week  or  so  afterwards .  she  doesn’t  want  to  talk .
december fifteenth ,  1984 .  nancy  chaperones  the  snow  ball  with  jonathan .  she  and  dustin  dance  together .  she  feels  a  little  better .  like  things  could  change .
january ,  1985 .  things  have  not  changed .
may ,  1986 .  nancy  graduates .  she’s  been  accepted  to  columbia  college  in  new  york  city .  she  attends  for  biology ,  on  a  scholarship .
november ,  1987 .  nancy  declares  a  second  major ,  journalism .
february ,  1988 .  nancy  distances  herself  from  the  few  friends  she’s  made  and  focuses  on  her  work .  she  begins  researching  real  cases .  her  schoolwork  starts  to  suffer .
april ,  1989 .  nancy’s  first  article  is  published .  it  details  a  government  facility  in  albany  and  its  mistreatment  of  local  workers .  she  fails  in  linking  the  disappearance  of  a  local  twelve  year  old  to  the  facility .
november ,  1989 .  nancy  drops  out  of  columbia  and  pursues  leads  on  government  conspiracies .  her  classmates  condemn  her  and  any  remaining  friends  try ,  and  fail ,  to  talk  her  out  of  it .  she  leaves  new  york ,  alone .
1989  -  1997 .  nancy  publishes  multiple  articles  under  various  pen  names .
september ,  1997 .  nancy  publishes  her  first  book .  it’s  under  her  own  name .  it  details  her  experience  in  hawkins .
february ,  1998 .  realizing  she’s  being  followed ,  nancy  begins  to  compile  research  on  every  article  she’d  ever  written .  she  plans  to  expose  anything  and  everything  she  can  that  condemns  the  government’s  mistreatment  of  its  citizens .  she  begins  covering  up  her  tracks  more  determinedly .  people  who  had  been ,  up  until  now ,  in  some  form  of  contact  with  her  lose  her  completely .  she  isolates .  she  travels .  she  sneaks  into  labs  much  like  the  one  of  her  childhood .  she  seeks  to  uncover .
july ,  1999 .  nancy  returns  to  the  midwest .  she  resides  in  chicago .  she  begins  getting  in  touch  with  every  contact  she  has  to  create  backup  plan  after  backup  plan .  she  won’t  give  it  up .
december  first ,  1999 .  they’ve  found  her .  nancy  knows  it .
december  thirty  first  ,  1999 .   nancy  ruth  wheeler  is  shot  and  killed  on  the  streets  of  chicago  after  having  been  in  hiding  for  a  few  years .  the  motive  remains  unknown  and  no  police  put  in  the  proper  effort  to  find  the  culprit ,  but  people  close  to  her  know .  they  can  feel  it .  they  could  hear  it  in  her  voice  when  she  finally  called  them  from  payphones ,  haphazard  and  final  conversations  which  were  spoken  with  an  air  of  caution .   the  people  she  loved ,  who  loved  her ,  know .  she  was  right  ;   they  were  always  watching . 
* i follow show - canon unless ppl want to discuss another option! if you want to hear why, feel free 2 ask me.  will be adjusting as new seasons come out!
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flyingcookierambles · 3 years
Text
hhh
got afab’d at the eye doctor today arrgh
i wouldve corrected him but like. i doubt that ill go there again since it was like a super quick kinda-non emergency thing and i have a regular eye doctor i go to. also my mom was in the room and like. i didnt wanna bring it up with her there and all but like. uugh.
he just like immediately picked female on the gender option even tho there was an other option and everything wtf?????????????
hmmm also i had to go to the doctors for a quick check up/physical thing since im/my mom is going to make me get my drivers license and you have to have a doctors note and all and i went to my moms doctor or the first time since i aged out of my pediatrician. and like? they had me and my mom in the same room which was kinda weird???? like for the whole patient confidentiality thing (which wouldve been useless since like my mom knows more abt my medical history than me) and like also the whole. pandemic thing??? like?? it was me, my mom, and the nurse practitioner crammed into a tiny basic exam room?? maybe bc my mom has been going to this doctors’ office for a long time and also since we’re family, they must’ve figured taht we both dont have covid and couldnt spread it to each otehr like other random patients who are strangers to each other but still. it was. annoying.
the nurse asked me some questions about like my medical history. and all and i couldnt answer some of it bc i dont remember exact dates/times and stuff. but also she asked if i had been diagnosed with depression or anything and like if my mom wasnt in the room, i wanted to say that my mom wont let me see a therapist and/or be diagnosed. 
so like when i turned 18 i had a final check up at my former pediatrician before they kicked me out of the system lol. i am p sure that it was for shots and stuff that i needed for college???
anyways despite being 18, they had my mom in the room with me the whole time. and then they gave me a worksheet that was a basic “do you have depression” test. and the doctor left, but my mom was allowed to stay??? 
and like. since i was starting college and stuff at the time, and also was/am causing my lower middle class family great financial hardship in the form of college tuition and student loans with predatory interest rates and increasing the chances of losing our house bc, with the combo of my dad dying and the recession of the early 2000′s and general declining quality ever since earlier mentioned death, our family business sucks and we barely make any money. also my mom keeps complaining about this to me and it constantly hangs over my head and i feel guilty about being a dumbass who cant get a job and repay the stupid loans (how tf is interest rates on student loans legal??? fuck capitalism????) (uuughghgh i feel like my mom should get herself a therapist or smth instead of constantly complaining to her eldest agab child uuuhghghghgh. id make one of those eldest d*ughter jokes but im not a g*rl so eldest child lol)
anyways yeah so like 4 years ago when i was starting college and also today to a degree i felt like a massive piece of shit and had social anxiety and also probably depression that is only kept at bay by constantly distracting myself with anime and video game. and like. maybe??? i couldve benefited from talking to a therapist or counselor or getting medication????? instead of?? like?? whatever my obsession with anime and video games is???
buuuuuuut since the pediatrician let my mom stay in the room for some reason, my mom, a boomer who knows nothing of mental health and is kinda insensitive about it so its super cringe to talk to her abt stuff, was like “you’re not depressed. youre a middle class kid who’s never like starved or whatever. just answer 1 on everything.” (the scale of depression was like 1 - not feeling depressed much to 5 - i feel like this everyday.)
so yeah????? 
wow sorry doctor i cant answer half your questions about my medical history bc im either adopted and dont know my own genetics or my mom wont let me get tested for mental illness?????????????
once at 2018 or 19 tekko, i wanted to go into the dnd room and like i got so socially anxious i had a crying breakdown in the freaking hallway and had to like. sit down alone and try to look normal by playing my 3ds on the floor. like i hovered outside the door to the dnd room for a whole hour just like staring in and wanting to go in really badly but i couldnt???? i just???? cried????? in public????????? had a breakdown or something at an anime convention??????????????? i like dont even know what the heck happened 2 years ago or if that’s what it would be called but like????????? im pretty sure that mentally healthy people with no social anxiety problems dont stand outside a room for half an hour and then start crying bc you cant bring yourself to go into the room even tho the door is like wide open?????????? thankfully i finally just like went in and joined a the last game session of the day, but it was still like surreal to me?????? i just??? extremely loathed myself for like an hour for crying and not being able to walk thru a doorway it was so weird i felt like absolute garbage and im p sure that normal ppl dont go thru that??????
since i only make like. $11 an hour at a retail job im not really sure if i can even afford a therapist, and then theres also transportation and also the whole pandemic thing. but ive been thinking about like 7cups or something. there was also this other website that showed you therapists that were uniquely qualified for treating poc/queer/neurodivergent/etc., ppl in your area and there was surprisingly a few in the pittsburgh area that i could probs get to by bus, so maybe ill save money and go like. next year or something. or like. whenever the pandemic is over.
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laughing-one · 4 years
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Please try to understand. This is it along with the last 3 or 4 posts ((one about the famous authors and professors i'm speaking with about their experiences in the system and on meds "losing their minds")) Part of the key insights I'm getting out and sharing ((all borrowed.. beings within beings, interpenetration)) was so afraid for a decade to share our experience with psychic phenomena, mutation, and JG's T's W's insight and discuss with our therapists ((being a younger, smarter but tight-lipped patient in the office of an authority/professional figure was a bit of a quandary.. when we as the patient were too scared to challenge them with our DEEP and BURNING questions and issues)) loved ones and the sociologists we're now having discussions with..fear of hurting them or being hurt.. it was all illusion.. fear is the only real pain..this is part of why i rejected myself bc i held onto important insights from T and JG, Gigi, now sharing thru the discussion beteeen Karyn and John.. beings within beings.. i was just doing my best please understand.
With timeline therapies etc.. we do not have to be stuck in static conceptualized labels of "incremental progression/evolution".. mutation was a proven principle by a unique biologist in the last century..not just linear evolution but non-linear leaps as Hailee and John and others know and perform so well.. even if we fall back into time.. plus we have the ET and density stuff. It was beyond difficult knowing all this starting intensely as a teenager. i was really really scared of the end of the planet bc of human pollution and wars etc.. and that i might be mentally ill bc i was told that since so young etc..
I needed help and it was hard bc my voice had been shut down so much whihc came up in regression again yesterday and the therapist is there guidimeimy empowered child to say/feel what it didn't get to in those moments where my soul boundaries were violated.. I've touched on the interdensity stuff but that hasn't been brought up by them yet or really discussed so not sure if they have experience.. i'm going to have to keephdoing them until it comes up in the regression bc it was traumatic knowing it etc... I still haven't found someone who knows as much as those i used to know who fell out of my life.. i was so young.. i was 18 being told about interdensity parasites attacking my gf who was not a joke or a hoax.. i knew it wasn't a joke also bc since I stsrted remembering the childhood visions and other experiences that year as an 18 yesr old and now more after etc.. i wish i'd just lived a better life and not gotten sucked away by so much of that. It was HARD it WASN'T MY FAULT and some of it came out in regressiona and i told the therapist about my gf being attacked and some of their other experiences as a psychic and they haven't even discussed it with me.. so that makes me think they are scared arrgggghhhh. Im trying!!! Thought the world was going to end as a kid bc of the oceans etc and stupid Alex J before he became an alt right complete wackjob.. and with the bigger ocean die offs destruction seems ever more a possibility but i'm good with it now. What happens happens i am just HERE present on this Earth being of beings.. and yet we have a movement of "quasi new agers" "and all the other groups in the spiritual community talkiing about an Event that is going to intensify some things into balance and others who aren't involved with that remembering and experiencing a whole gammut of things.. it was ALOT to deal with and i lost it bc i left Amy due to my trauma and selfish fear and had to explore it alone going nuts i guess. Its been diifficult. I'm doing my best. Sometimes wish i'd never asked these questions and met these ppl but thats what the universe put in my path and this insatiable drive for why i'm here with amnesia. And thats probaboy why i met them hah. Ibasked for it in a way or what my soul here to uncover. I'm so close to something big. the therapist is aware of the past lives. Guess I was meant to figure alot of it out online and internal thru alotta pain. Peace and love all beings and may an event actually help transform the consicousness on this planet. All the solutions to cleaning the ocean are there and everything else. Nanobubbles to frequencies and bacteri/shrooms that clean up pollution. Now it's just dominance, control and greed in ourselveanand the transition phase ...lifetimes of ancestral generational power over coming to an end..
From Karyn :
I believe regression is fantastic if the feelings are allowed to express with greater understanding brought to the narrative. To relive the past with the same interpretation as was taken by the child is to keep the trauma alive.
Response:
Karyn Yeah. Sounds like mutation.. the "problem" being many materialists in the field don't see the changes/approaches in perception.. like that there is also time freedom and mutative evolution which instantly compels the entirety of an organism to transform. We now have the quantum and timeline therapies online. I was completely transformed by an instant choice but bc there is so much resistance to this perception and heavy belief in the "time as we know it" and the obstacles that presented themselves "after" the initial year of transformation.. i slipped back into a belief in time slavery. Its hard when these same therapists and professors im talking with don't know about it and i have to say to them.. "look, i have undergone experience and want to ask questions that challenge your outlook. What if healing doesn't have to be a lifetime process ((not in the sense that everything is change.. that would remain 'true' here)) and can be achieved through great leaps in consciousness..
Superposition, action at a distance, instant shifts in emotional frequency with intensified awareness/compassion / psychic ability. So there it is now out in the open. Can't hold it in anymore hah
I fall back into this idea that my evolution just means an intimate and inevitable progression towards entropy. But someone showed me that incremental evolution is not the end all be all either.. but also just perception.. there are non-linear leaps in evolution. Even timelapsing plants and animal growth or the geological formation of crystal under intense nuances of pressure, heat, electricity, spirit etc.. we can see these leaps in action. It's not just linear.
Yes. It's all new. Niw that I think of it we are down there changing the narrative while it is happening (the regression) so that's good.
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chokemeseokjin · 7 years
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for that ask thing... do em all... all 170... do it 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
OK LET’S DO THIS
1: How tall or short do you wish you were? I wish I was like 5′6″ tbh i’m too tall2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) fucking dragon mate3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? I like kinda cute pastel shit but not really girly? does that even make sense?4: What was your favorite video game growing up? Nintendogs?5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: My gf, bees and flowers6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Approach with caution, cries easily and afraid of loud noises7: What is your opinion on Mo being unfaithful to Jimin? Unsurprising and relatable (ily)8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] IDK9: Are you ticklish? incredibly pls don’t touch me10: Are you allergic to anything? I’m lactose intolerant so… yeah11: What’s your sexuality? bi bi bi12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? tea i am a brit after all13: Are you a cat or dog person? B O T H14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? vampire fam that’d be so cool15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? either Dan and Phil or Tomska, Dan and Phil are one in my head ok shut up16: How tall are you? 5′10″ :)))17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? Evie bc that was what i was going to be called and I would prefer it,,,,18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] idk fam19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? kinda?20: Do you like space or the ocean more? S P A C E FAM THE STARS ARE JUST !!!!21: Are you religious? nah22: Pet peeves? When ppl walk really slowly in the middle of the fucking pavement23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? nocturnal24: Favorite constellation? gemini obviously where my hoes at25: Favorite star? Kim Seokjin26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? the fuck are they?27: Any phobias or fears? the dark n clowns28: Do you think global warming is real? yes???29: Do you believe in reincarnation? yeah i guess I do30: Favorite movie? Super 8! Pls watch it! support my kids!31: Do you get scared easily? yes like seriously easy32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? 233: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] BEST BLOG EVER 10/10 WOULD LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE AMEN34: What is a color that calms you? Pastel blue35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? Japan and Hawaii! 36: Where were you born? hospital in my home town37: What is your eye color? very blue38: Introvert or extrovert? introvert39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? I think they’re interesting but the ones in magazines n shit are bullcrap40: Hugs or kisses? hugs pls41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? my gf :(42: Who is someone you love deeply? ur mum43: Any piercings you want? more on my ears and maybe my nose44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? yes!!!!45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? i have yh46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! how to describe min yoongi,,,,47: What is a sound you really hate? metal being like dragged along something u know what i mean48: A sound you really love? kim seokjin when he gets lines :))))49: Can you do a backflip? no i’m not jungkook50: Can you do the splits? nearly lol51: Favorite actor and/or actress? I lov Andrew Garfield with all my heart 52: Favorite movie? u asked this already but I’ll chose another one soooooooo um Breakfast Club bc i am a white girl53: How are you feeling right now? sleepy54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? same colour it is now tbh55: When did you feel happiest? sleeping56: Something that calms you down? watching youtube videos specifically gaming ones idk why but it’s rlly calming57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] probably lmao58: What does your URL mean? i want. kim seokjin. to choke me. ok? are we clear? 59: What three words describe you the most? a fucking loser60: Do you believe in evolution? yeah61: What makes you unfollow a blog? posting rude/mean stuff or just if I don’t enjoy their content anymore, i don’t mean any harm or anything lol62: What makes you follow a blog? if it’s pretty/memes63: Favorite kind of person: nice people who’re funny and caring and actually give a shit about me and other ppl, not just themselves64: Favorite animal(s): meerkats, giraffes n bees65: Name three of your favorite blogs. @oh-no-its-mo​ @jinsasleep​ @taechy​66: Favorite emoticon: i’m on my laptop!!!! the sparkly heart!67: Favorite meme: um idk? the in tarnation one is p funny atm tho68: What is your MBTI personality type? fuck i can’t remember the rarest one i know that for sure69: What is your star sign? Gemini, come fight me70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? no jfc she wont even sit when i ask the hoe71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? denim mini skirt thing, tights n some cute top 72: Post a selfie or two? no73: Do you have platform shoes? i am tall enough74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? I hate potatoes 75: Can you do a front flip? no jfc76: Do you like birds? yah77: Do you like to swim? I’m baically Rin tbh78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? Swimming i have no balance 79: Something you wish didn’t exist: donald trump80: Some thing you wish did exist: free traveling 81: Piercings you have? 5 in ma ears82: Something you really enjoy doing: writing and dying83: Favorite person to talk to: my gf84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? yo it was awful i was superwholock bullshit asshat i still hate myself for it i’ve been here too long85: How many followers do you have? 983!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? FUCKING HELL NO87: Do your socks always match? no88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? yes89: What are your birthstones? emerald 90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? dragon91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? oh fam a fuckin scabious they’re the shit92: A store you hate? superdrug93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? i had 6 one day it was a mistake94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? flyyyyyyy95: Do you like to wear camo? yes sir96: Winter or summer? summer97: How long can you hold your breath for? i can swim a length of the pool underwater98: Least favorite person? donald trump99: Someone you look up to: is it cheesy to say namjoon?100: A store you love? the fat ass topshop on oxford street101: Favorite type of shoes? cute ballet flats102: Where do you live? LDN 103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? bacon104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? i just thought of that fucking goat meme bye105: Do you drink milk? no i would die106: Do you like bugs? some107: Do you like spiders? small ones108: Something you get paranoid about? e v e r y t h i n g109: Can you draw: a little tho i’m sure others would disagree110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? idk fam i haven’t rlly been asked one111: A question you hate being asked? is ur hair naturally that colour112: Ever been bitten by a spider? no113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? yah114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? sunny!115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: my gf jfc how many times have i answered with that 116: Favorite cloud type: penis shapes ones117: What color do you wish the sky was? pink118: Do you have freckles? yah 119: Favorite thing about a person: their laugh120: Fruits or vegetables? fruit121: Something you want to do right now: sleep tbh122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? sky123: Sweet or sour foods? sour? i dont rlly like sweet stuff much124: Bright or dim lights? in between aaaaaye125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? unicorns i read a book when i was little that convinced me126: Something you hate about Tumblr: drama and ppl caring too much about shit that dont matter127: Something you love about Tumblr: making friends and seeing ppls amazing art!128: What do you think about the least? what a weird question um idk slugs?129: What would you want written on your tombstone? fucking finally130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? Saitama? to see how much it would hurt131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? my entire being132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? i dont smile at all if i can help it133: Computer or TV? computer134: Do you like roller coasters? sort of135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? motion yess not sure about sea136: Are your ears lobed or attached? attached137: Do you believe in karma? yes138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? a strong -4139: What nicknames do you have/have had? El, Ellz, Petra, Sharpay, bitch, hoe, shut up ellen140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? yeah141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? nope142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? Good most of the time143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? giving!!!!!!144: What makes you angry? rude people145: How many languages do you speak fluently? two146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? anyone who’ll have me tbh147: Are you androgynous? no148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: my eyes?149: Favorite thing about your personality: i guess i’m kind idk150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. my gf (again), Jess and Ellie151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? dinosaurs, i would make them my children152: Do you like BuzzFeed? their snapchat thing always makes me laugh153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] through this god damn website thanks to pepekwan,  romance at it’s finest kids154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? yes155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? yes156: What embarrasses you? literally everything157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: again, literally everything158: Biggest lie you have ever told: i’m straight 159: How many people are you following? too many160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? 46,715 JFC161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? none162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? 1,758163: Last time you cried and why: i can’t actually remember 164: Do you have long or short hair? medium!!!!!!165: Longest your hair has ever been: nearly to my waist166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? never really affected me tbh, people can believe what they want to beleive as long as they’re not hurting anyone/ pressuring anyone to believe in it too167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? not really no168: Do you like to wear makeup? yeah u dont wanna see me without it169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? no?????170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? yes I have ur welcome Mo ily
i didnt check this so sorry if there are mistakes lol 
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stillhere-fornow · 6 years
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The only place I can ever talk about my constant struggle with depression, self hate, and thoughts of suicide is Tumblr. No one I know, even knows I have one and I can launch my overwhelming thoughts and feelings out into the void. I want to die every night and almost every morning. It doesn't matter where I go or who I'm with. The allure of non-existence is so tantalizing. All the pain, gone. All these tormenting thoughts, gone. The sleepless nights, gone. Everything, just gone. I am well educated in all the reasons they give to stay. I have myself, talked friends off the edge and been the shoulder to cry on for brothers that don't show emotion to anyone else. I've always been everyone's therapist and the person looked to for strength...but I've never gone to anyone with my weakness. I've already lost close family members to suicide and I've seen the effects that it has on the loved ones who keep breathing...it used to be enough. Now I wonder if he made the right choice. I was a senior in high school when he did it and I couldn't be happy, or kind, or even talk for that matter. I remember a girl co.i g up to me and saying, "You can't be down like this...you're the person that brings a smile to my face in the place that drains my soul every time I even think about having to be here". I didn't know what to do with that so I said nothing and I walked away. I bring joy, but can't seem to give any to myself. I've been told, I'm incredibly emotionally guarded. I haven't had a real, emotional cry since I was a pre-teen; when someone I saw as invincible, was just gone the very same night I had just seen the S on his chest. It can happen to anyone. None of us are as strong as we seem to be. Or maybe others just see us as superhuman when we seem to have the things they wish for. I could never bring myself to admit my weakness. My father used to say, I was the one that he didn't have to worry about. I carry that, I carry everything with me. It's what I do. One of the most endearing qualities to those that I meet is also one that causes me the most pain. I listen. To understand. To remember. To carry. No one has to wonder if the words that they say fall on deaf ears unless they ask me how I'm doing. I don't always have a response, but I always listen. The loudest voice I hear now is my own and it wants me dead. I don't have malice for it because I listen and understand that it just wants to be free. Truly free. It's sick. It's burdened. It elevates the lives of those it cares about to keep them from falling into the hole that it sinks into, ever deeper. It holds high the worth of others with no brace underneath to keep its own from being flattened. I understand and I feel the same. She and they are the only reasons I keep duct tape. I seal every hole that my soul could use to escape into something else. Something after. I want to believe that something comes after. I want to. All while I don't believe in the love that anyone says they have or had for me. None of it seems real, cuz no one loves me like I love them. I get it. No two ppl are the same and thus, no two people's love manifest in the same way. But they would never be my step ladder out of the endless hole....Or the brace for my struggles. Everybody's got shit. But I seem to always recognize that fact before anyone else. Don't ask me if I'm okay, cuz I'm not, I got shit. Don't ask me to bare your weight cuz I will...and I already got my own shit. Don't ask me to listen. Cuz I'll quiet the voice long enough to understand you. I got my own shit. I've come to the sudden realization that I do have the strength to quiet that voice....I do it anytime my understanding is in need. I just can't do it for myself. This fight doesn't end as long as I breathe.
I don't know how long my fight will last, but I'm still here.
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