#and then if we go off the understanding that the empty and possibly death are OLDER then god and amara.

[sinsirellaxx]

Toxic!Slytherin boys and them actually falling in love with the reader? Like the Slytherin boys don’t just want to have control over the reader, they want to have a future together after they realize their true yet toxic love for the reader.

I just love the idea of these hurt toxic boys tryna be better.

Toxic Slytherin boys – When they actually fall in love with you

Warning: Kinda toxic yet not so toxic boys

Mattheo …

… chokes on his saliva when he realizes. He’d been having weird dreams – more like nightmares – of losing you and the relief that washes over him whenever he finally manages to wake up makes his heart skip a beat.

… would try to shrug it off and push it to the back of his mind until he couldn’t anymore. You growing more confident and making new friends felt like a bucket of ice cold water emptied on his head: he loved you and he couldn’t risk losing you.

… had to take a different approach with you, because with time you noticed the very subtle changes in him and started resisting his controlling nature.

… for the first time ever, grew insecure in your relationship: The more he fell in love with you, the brighter you shone.

… would be clingy – but not in the “You can’t go out wearing that skirt” kind of clingy, but the “let’s cuddle in bed all night, love.” Kind of clingy.

… found himself dreaming of your future life together – he suddenly wanted to have kids. But only with you.

… would put in so much effort: He’d take you out on romantic dates, buy you things that he thinks you might like, hold hands with you all the time and press the back of your hand to his lips before letting go of you, whenever you had to part ways.

… can’t go a day without hearing your voice.

… would even stop skipping classes and stop drinking if that ever bothered you.

… is afraid that you might get involved in his Death Eater business and will do anything to protect you from it – even if it meant locking you up some place far away.

“I just can’t imagine a day without you by my side.”

Theodore …

… is shocked. Flabbergasted. Stunned. At a loss for words.

… had thought he wouldn’t be able to love another woman after losing his mother. He didn’t expect he’d ever be ready to be vulnerable again. But there you stood, with that beautiful smile and those bright eyes.

… doesn’t know when it happened – it was probably, when you made pistachio cannoli in the school kitchens and presented them to him proudly. He had returned your sheepish smile with his eyes blinking dumbly at you as he tried to understand the situation. “You made them for me?”

… was head over heels for you after that day. You’d have him wrapped around your pinky – whatever you want, you’ll get.

… would be even more protective of you and glare at everyone talking to you – even his own friends weren’t spared.

… asks you to cook with him – to cook and bake for him. He’d watch you in the kitchen with heart-eyes – his mind wandering off to places.

… would plan to propose to you as fast as possible. There is no way he’d lose you.

“Amore, I know we are young. But I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Lorenzo …

… notices the little changes in his own behavior: he hugs you a little longer and a little tighter whenever you embrace him. He’ll squeeze your hand tight, whenever you’re holding hands. He’ll always wrap his arms around you protectively, whenever you are close enough.

… is scared at first – which resorts to him being even more controlling and overbearing. He’ll even consider a Blood Oath or the Unbreakable Vow to bind you to him for eternity – but when he watches you sleep on his chest at night, with a peaceful look on your face, he inwardly kicks himself for his stupidity.

… will be more patient – more respectful with you. He constantly has to remind himself that love is not about control and owning but about trust and respect.

… struggles at first. But when you take notice of the effort he puts into your relationship – into loving you – you let your guards down completely. You truly feel comfortable around him.

“I’d do anything for you, princess.”

Draco …

… struggles with the onslaught of emotions and distances himself from you.

… would be scared to show you his true feelings – but he’s also scared of pushing you away with his past behavior.

… would grow quiet and carefully think about what to do next – about how to approach you. He’d stop playing around with you.

… gives me the vibes that he’d immediately start planning your future in secret – if he is really sure about you, he’d probably confide in his mother.

… would be a complete gentleman: would buy you flowers, write you letters, spend quality time with you and really listen to what you have to say.

… he’d be much more selfless with you – what you want is more important to him than his own selfish needs.

“What have you done to me, princess?”

Blaise …

… pulls you into a soft kiss the moment he realizes. He’ll wrap his arms around you and hug you to his chest. He needed to feel you close – to know you’re there and not just a dream. Because this boy is scared you’ll disappear into thin air.

… wants nothing more than spend time with you. He’ll almost always text you first. Will initiate soft touches and innocent kisses.

… will be so soft for you.

… would claim he couldn’t sleep without you, just to watch you fall asleep in his arms. Knowing that you’ll be there in the morning when he wakes up – safe and sound.

… is still overly controlling – but just because he is afraid to lose you.

… won’t have any problems with showing his vulnerability.

“I’m scared of losing you, love. Please stay the night.”

Tom …

… is angry. Angry with you. Angry with himself. Angry with his stupid heart.

… would feel guilt settle deep in his stomach whenever he was mean to you, which bothered him because now he had to think twice about it before saying anything.

… can’t stand the thought of you spending time with other people.

… is even more jealous and protective than before – because now he actually cares.

… thinks of the Unbreakable vow as well but will actually pull through and manage to make you consent to it. He couldn’t risk losing you.

“I’ll always protect you. You are mine forever.”

#toxic slytherin boys #slytherin boys imagine #slytherin boys headcanons #slytherin boys #slytherin #draco imagine #draco malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #draco x reader #theodore nott fanfiction #theo nott x reader #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott imagine #mattheo riddle imagine #mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle x reader #blaise zabini #blaise zabini x reader #lorenzo berkshire #lorenzo berkshire x reader #lorenzo berkshire imagine #enzo berkshire x reader #enzo berkshire #tom riddle #tom riddle x reader

[scarletwidowsbaby]

Lover's Agreement

Summary: Acceptance takes time, understanding, and commitment. But, all three of you are still learning.

Pairing: Omega!Fem!Reader x Alphas!WandaNat

Warnings: Alphas being Alphas, Natasha being pushy, suppressants, nervous breakdown, mental abuse surfacing. Read at your own discretion.

A/N: Here you go, Part 2 of Lover's Quarrel.

*credit to owners*

When you came to the apartment, you realised that most of your stuff was still packed into bags. 

“Oh, brilliant! I’ll go put these by the elevator.” Natasha explained as she took the two main bags, leaving you with your duffle bag.

You quickly threw in the few bottles of suppressants before silencing them with the last of your clothes in the cupboard, making sure not to shake the bag too loudly as you found Natasha by the elevator.

“All packed? Let’s go.” She smiled at you, walking you back into the Tower.

The elevator ride was silent, save for the music, and you carefully put your bags into your room with your duffle bag going straight to the ensuite bathroom. Natasha left you for a moment to put away your things, even if you tried to do it agonisingly slowly.

Eventually, two hours had passed and you finally packed away the toiletries, using the sink drain pipe and the stacks of toilet paper to hide your suppressants. You also knew that it was a new day, so you popped one of the strong ones and cleaned your face.

*Why oh why did you agree to meet? You could have avoided everything about this for another month before dying, according to Bruce.* You thought to yourself.

*Death was mercy in this cruel world.* 

You finally came out of your room to find Natasha, Wanda, Yelena and Kate chatting in the kitchen. You crept past silently but not without the scent of your Alphas hitting you, making your hindbrain melt.

“Hey, Y/N. Come have some dinner.” Wanda offered as the other girls ate up the delicious-looking meal.

“No thanks.”

“It wasn’t a question.” 

You looked up sharply at the Alpha witch, her glowing eyes dragging a chair behind you before pushing you towards the counter. She placed a bowl in front of you before magicking the spoon into your hand, giving you a quaint but sharp look. “Eat up. We need to talk, too.” 

You watched Yelena and Kate stack their empty dishes before heading to the lounge, turning on the TV to watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine. The voices were quiet but you could still hear them if you focused and it was quiet around you. 

“Y/N.” 

Great, now the talking part.

“What?” You asked the redheaded Alpha, poking and prodding at your bowl.

“We need to introduce you to the rules.” 

Natasha plucked the piece of paper off of the fridge before handing it to you, watching your eyes scan the top half of the page before giving it back.

“No.” She pushed it back towards you. “Read your own rules too.” 

You had only skimmed through the rules of the Tower, the Alphas and the Betas, but now you know you had to properly read it:

Tower - No intentional hurt, physical or emotional - No ignoring, yelling or swearing - No power use to control - Traffic light system - No entering rooms w/o permission

Alphas - Deliver punishment - Respect Beta/Omega choice of punisher - Care above control - Stay close to Omega when out of Tower

Betas - Know when to interfere - Help Omegas where possible - Stop/Help Alphas were possible - Can follow any Omega rules if comfortable

Omegas - Look after yourself - Eat and Drink  - Bedtime rules (set by Alphas) - Do not leave Tower without an Alpha - Communication - Alert Alphas of drops/other problems - Accept punishment - Room = safe space

“I seem to have a lot more rules.” You commented annoyedly. 

“You do because you are an Omega.” Natasha replied.

You slid the paper back over and she pinned it back on the fridge, with the two Alphas taking a seat on your sides.

“What?” You grumbled.

“Eat. As much as you can, nobody will force the whole bowl down your throat, but eat.” Wanda explained.

“I’m not hungry.” You retorted before you felt hands fall onto your waist.

“Hey!” You yelled as Natasha put you on her lap.

“Wanda?” 

You looked at the witch, who took a spoonful of the dinner and held it in front of your lips. “Open.” 

You shook your head and wriggled in Natasha’s lap. This wasn’t what you wanted. People touching you, forcing you to eat- you shut your eyes and pushed yourself out of Natasha’s arms.

“Y/N, come on-”

“Wait, Natasha.” Wanda cut her off, watching you sprint down to your room.

“I know that. Where do I know that?” The witch thought to herself.

She lightly brushed a finger over your mind to calm the pool, observing the memories that had been pushed to the front. She gasped, dropping the spoon into the bowl before she came to your closed door.

“Y/N, Y/N, please, I’m sorry. We didn’t know you were in HYDRA too.” She knocked fervently on the door.

“G-Go away!” You barked through.

“What’s happening?” Natasha asked her mate.

“In HYDRA, when somebody didn’t eat for a few days and HYDRA wanted to keep them… they would force them to eat.”

“What?” 

“Tie us down, feed us by hand. It was a manipulation tactic, to get you to listen to at least one person regularly and form a bond. Then, they would abuse that bond until it was broken. Repeat the process until you don't trust anyone to feed you but yourself.” 

Wanda turned back to the door. “‘Mega, please let us in… we can help.”

“I’m not just a fucking Omega!” You howled through the door.

The two of them sighed in defeat. “I’m sorry, malen’kiy. We didn’t know.”

“That’s the problem. You don’t bother to get to know.” You grumbled to yourself, but she heard it.

“Come on, let’s give her some space.” Natasha cooed, taking her mate into their room for some quality time.

When you woke, you were still in a heap on the floor. The room was slowly darkening by the setting sun and you stood up, feeling utterly wrecked to the bone. You shuffled out of your room, not paying attention to anyone as you grabbed some water from the fridge.

“Y/N-”

“Don’t talk to me.” You clipped Wanda’s words off quickly.

“We need to talk about more rules, specifically bedtime since it’s almost upon us.” She continued.

You huffed, rolling your eyes. You were twenty-four, not a baby - you didn’t need a bedtime. “Why?” 

“Because it’s a rule.” Natasha added, folding her arms as she came into your view.

“Come on. Come sit.”

You eyed the empty chair between the two Alphas and you shook your head. “I’ll stand, thanks.” 

Neither of them reacted. “Okay. First off: Do you have a job?”

“I’m a waitress and bartender at Danny’s Diner, remember? Where you first decided to have me?” You replied, watching Natasha taking notes as Wanda asked questions.

“When do you normally work?”

“Any shift I can get. Typically night, early morning. Rarely during the day.” Your answers came with a short clip at the end, showing the Alphas that this was not a favourable discussion.

“What’s your boss’ name?” 

“I have Sophie as my manager and then the owner, Danny. His wife, Alura, does the shift management.” 

“Can we speak to her?” 

“Why?” 

Natasha lifted her head from the paper and laced her fingers together. “We want to have a schedule that aligns with your bedtime. Probably four or five days of the week, you’ll be in bed by 10:30.” 

You let a huff of air out through your nose. “That’s ridiculous. I’m not a child.” 

“That’s why we’re giving you the option of four days.” Wanda retorted, raising an eyebrow at you.

You growled out deeply. “Fine. What else?” 

Natasha chuckled. “You get to choose if you want to sleep in our room or yours. We’ll go out tomorrow and buy some more clothes, things for a nest, et cetera. We can even split up so that Wanda goes shopping with you while I go talk to your bosses.” 

“Good. I don’t want to see Danny’s eyes when he finds out I can’t work like a normal person anymore.” You mumbled, trying to remove yourself from the uncomfortable situation.

“Okay. Now, for punishment, I take it you don’t want physical touch like spanking?” The Widow continued.

“No.” You shook your head, the only time this conversation didn’t have a snarky remark from you.

“Alright. How about physical exertion? Standing on your head in the corner, planking, balancing books on your head?”

You raised an eyebrow. “That’s a punishment?”

“Yes. We will push you until we deem the punishment over or that you can no longer carry on.” Wanda clarified.

You nodded, comforted by the familiarity of your training. “Okay. What else?”

Natasha glanced at the rules on the fridge before looking down at her notes. “Ah, yes. ‘Drops/other problems’. Who do you want when you drop?” 

You thought about it for a moment, making sure to hide your thoughts in case Wanda wanted to look. You hadn’t dropped since you learned how to control it, no thanks to HYDRA and the Red Room. You would get a slight fuzz in your head but that was all, which didn’t help when making this decision.

“Can we wait on that one?” You asked, receiving nods from them both.

“Of course.”

You nodded and felt awkward just standing there with a cup of water in your hands, watching Natasha pack up her notes whilst Wanda looked over to you. “Do you want to come and watch a movie?” 

You nodded and followed Wanda to the lounge area, watching her take her place. You knew you shouldn’t have hesitated to sit on the couch, because the three pairs of eyes on you looked worried.

“Y/N, you don’t have to sit on the floor unless you want to.” Kate spoke, pulling out a pillow for you to sit on.

“I’m not sitting on the floor like a mutt.” You growled, choosing to sit in the end corner of the couch. 

“Okay.” The archer took the pillow back and cuddled up to Yelena, something you watched closely.

Wanda observed your watching eyes before she patted the spot next to her, giving you a welcome smile. You scowled at the patting motion, choosing to stick to your corner, even if you were a little bit cold.

Then, Natasha came back. She sat down next to Wanda, with a space to fit another person and a half between you and her. “Y/N, come over here so we can share the blanket.” 

“No thanks, I’m good.” You replied monotonously. 

You watched the movie about amazing black women sending astronauts into space whilst fighting for rights; that was, until, an alarm went off and Natasha pulled out her phone.

You despised the alarm’s name - Omega bedtime.

“I’m not just a stupid Omega.” You growled, storming out of the room and slamming your door shut. 

Wanda grabbed the phone from Natasha and stopped the alarm from ringing, glancing at her mate. “Change it.”

Natasha quickly changed it to Y/N bedtime before making her way to your door. “Can I come in?”

“No.” You answered, slightly muffled from both the door and your pillow.

Natasha sighed, placing her head against the door. “I’m sorry, love. I should have known better.”

“Mhm.” You answered.

“You’re not a prize to be won. You’re a charm to be treasured.” She added.

“Goodnight, sweetness.” 

You didn’t say it back.

When the morning came, you made your way to the kitchen to see Wanda already cooking. 

“Hi, Y/N. Want some breakfast?” She handed over a plate of fried eggs on toast with cutlery.

“Thank you.” You murmured sleepily, watching as Wanda poured you some water.

You ate half of the breakfast before Wanda noticed how you didn’t want any more, coming over and giving you a gentle touch along your back. “Good job, Y/N. That was a lot, I shouldn’t have plated so much, sorry.” 

“It’s okay.” You replied, going back to your room to change only to bump into Natasha.

“Sorry, love. How are you feeling? Had some breakfast, I see.” She pointed at the egg that had dripped down onto your shirt. 

“Yep.” You clipped.

“We’ll be leaving in about an hour, okay?” 

You nodded and closed your door, leaving Natasha to be with her sister and mate. You popped a strong suppressant before getting changed into your outfit of jeans, shirt and hoodie. You left your room with your shoes in hand, tying them by the elevator as you waited for the two Alphas. 

They eventually came out wearing simple civilian clothes like yours, but they frowned at the sight of the hoodie. “Y/N, it’s going to be warm today. Are you sure you want the hoodie?” 

You nodded, knowing that your body struggled even on a hot day. Whilst walking with them through the carpark, conveniently next to a train station and Danny’s Diner, you noticed how some Omegas acted with their Alphas. Some had collars on, some were leashed, others were like you and free.

“Do you want us to find you a collar while we shop, baby?” Wanda asked and you growled.

“No collars.” 

She nodded and kissed your forehead before those lips transferred to Natasha, bidding her goodbye as she walked towards the diner. Wanda took your hand and pulled you into stores and you noticed that some of them didn’t even question your status as Wanda led you around. 

After two trips to the car, you and Wanda went to lunch. You both found a table, with the witch determined not to let you out of her sight, and she watched you eat slowly. 

“So, Y/N, I was wondering if you would consider something for me and Nat.” Wanda asked, waiting for you to swallow your chips. 

“What about?” 

“Could you cuddle with us tonight? Natasha’s been feeling antsy and I don’t have the right pheromones to calm her like you do.” 

You looked down at your meal and put your hands in your lap, taking a few deep breaths. “I’m… I’m not great with touch.”

“Is it because of HYDRA? And the Red Room?” She offered, watching you nod.

“It’s not appropriate here, but I have some… less than admirable markings across my body.”

Wanda’s eyes turned to steel as she looked at you. “What kind of marks?”

“Um…” 

Wanda put a hand on top of yours and you stopped talking. “You don’t have to say if you’re not comfortable.” She reassured you.

You nodded. “Thank you.”

“You’re always welcome, love.” 

When you saw Natasha walking towards you both, you shifted in your seat and a small scowl came onto your lips. She was beaming, pride wafting from her, and you huffed. “What are you so happy about?”

“Danny says he’s more than happy to let you work afternoon shifts, from about 2 until 7:30.” She smiled. 

You huffed out slowly. “Great.” 

She looked at you and sighed, your eyes not meeting hers. “Will you please look at me?” 

“Not unless you use my name.” 

“Y/N, please look at me.”

You lifted your head and with an annoyed sigh, opened your eyes slowly. “What?” 

“Why are you making this difficult?” 

“I liked my life how it was before, so excuse me for trying to keep it that way as much as possible.” 

Wanda took your hand and when Natasha tried to take yours, she was met with a hostile growl before you removed your hand from the table. The alpha was done, and you could smell it on her.

“We’re going home. Now.” 

Wanda helped you pack up the last of your things, including taking some leftovers, before she guided you into the back of the car. You fidgeted in your seat as your omega brain began to get stressed, your mind getting fuzzy as Natasha kept looking back at you.

“Natasha, you’re scaring her. Stop it, right now.” Wanda scolded.

“I am not! I’m being an Alpha.” She retorted, albeit reining in her scent a bit.

Wanda looked at you in the rearview mirror and saw how unhappy you were. You were her Omega, one of the two most important things in her life, and you were unhappy. 

“Malysh, would opening the window help you?” She offered as she turned the corner.

“Mhm.” You muttered.

She opened the window a little bit, no more than halfway, but she saw how it calmed you. She even released a few calming pheromones to combat Natasha’s frustration and you pulled the window up higher of your own volition.

“How much further?” You asked quietly.

“Not too far. A few more minutes.” She smiled at you.

Meanwhile, Natasha was frustrated as the emotion in her heart was new. Why did you like Wanda but not her? She acted the same, she gave you the same options, but why did you like her more?

She was jealous, and even you could tell that much. 

When Wanda pulled into the garage of Avengers Tower, you already saw a few of the Avengers waiting to help unpack the car. A few new faces were there, most having some scrapes, but they still helped where they could. 

“Miss Romana, a meeting will be held in five minutes to introduce you to the Avengers you did not meet beforehand.” FRIDAY spoke above you in your quiet room.

“Thank you for telling me, FRIDAY.” You replied, laying out a blanket on the end of your bed.

You entered the bathroom and noticed how the graze along your cheek was almost healed, whilst your arms were still a bit scuffed. You replaced the bandages on them and threw a hoodie over the top before following FRIDAY’s directions to the penthouse.

When you stepped out, the foreign area put you on alert until you saw Wanda and inevitably, Natasha. You don’t know why you weren’t as comfortable with her as you were with Wanda, and for some reason, you thought you should be more comfortable since the Widow had gone through similar things to you.

“Ah, Y/N, you’re here. Let’s get started.” Steve gathered everyone, some with drinks in hand made by Tony at the bar.

“Would you like a drink?” Wanda offered and you shook your head.

“I’ll get you some water then.” 

You took the glass into your hand before nodding to Steve to start the conversation. “This is pretty much everyone you’ll meet, Y/N, but you already know everyone that lives here. These guys have their own places outside of the Tower, or rarely come by enough to have a room.”

“Okay.” You shrugged, hearing a few chuckles.

“Feisty Omega.” The blonde woman, another Alpha by her scent, snickered. 

Natasha growled. “Carol, watch it.” 

“She’s cute, too. Anybody claimed her yet?” 

Natasha snapped at her, with Wanda pushing you behind her and taking Natasha’s wrist. “Not yet, but she holds our marks. Careful, Danvers. Natasha is not in the mood for your antics.” 

You wriggled out of Wanda’s grip and stood to her side, shooting her a glare before you nodded to Steve to continue. 

“You already met Peter, but he thought he’d come and say hi.”

“H-Hi, Miss Y/N.” He waved at you, the young Beta’s pheromones reeking of nerves.

“You almost smell like an Omega.” You smiled at him.

“I have anxiety.”

You nodded sympathetically. “I know all about that, don’t you worry.”

“This is Rhodey, Tony’s best friend.” Steve gestured to him.

“I’m a Beta soldier.” 

You nodded softly, respecting his status and service.

“Then there’s Scott, Sam and Bucky. Sam and Bucky are mated, whilst Scott’s girlfriend is the only pairing so far in the Avengers that’s opposing primary sexes.” 

“Hi. Beta with an Alpha girlfriend. You seem very nice.” He shook your hand, his smile almost fatherly.

“I’m Y/N, as you know. Y/N Romana.” 

“Let me guess - Romanian?” He chuckled, making you do the same.

“Just a little bit.” 

Natasha and Wanda both felt jealousy rise. You were with Scott for what, five seconds, and you’d already told him more personal things than either of them knew. Natasha took your hand and let you stand in-between them.

“Can we see your marks?” Sam asked and you nodded, spinning around.

But Natasha didn’t let go of your hand, making you huff and wrench it out with a whispered ‘ow’. You parted the hood away whilst lifting your hair up, showing off the three marks.

“And proof?” Bucky questioned, to which Wanda stepped forward and moved her shirt collar over.

“Nat?” Steve gestured for her turn and she lifted her pant leg, showcasing the marks by her ankle. 

“Good. Now, I hope that you all understand that those marks means Y/N is off-limits, unless she asks you specifically for help with a drop or to take her out of the Tower.” 

They all nodded, with Wanda bringing you back to her side, and you looked over at Natasha. Soon, a meeting was held by the Alphas and you were left outside with Scott, Rhodey and Bucky who were all Betas.

“So how come you smell like a Beta, Y/N?” Scott asked as he bit into a small sandwich.

“Oh, I don’t know, actually. If you’d like…” You pulled up your sleeve whilst calming your heart rate, undoing a bit of the bandage to reveal your healing wound.

“Does that help?” 

They all leaned towards you and sniffed the air. “Oh yeah, that’s an Omega.” Rhodey commented, making you all chuckle.

“I just… I must have practised a lot with hiding my scent that I smell different when my blood’s not exposed.” You shrugged.

“Well you seem like a lovely person to be around, Omega or not.” Bucky smiled, patting your shoulder.

“Whoa! A metal arm?!” You exclaimed and he chuckled, taking off his jacket to reveal the black and gold design. 

“It used to be made out of titanium, but our friend T’Challa built me a better one.” He grinned, flexing his fingers slightly in your grip.

“Whoa.” You chuckled, tracing the different grooves of the arm up until his elbow, to which you were pulled up by Natasha’s strong arm.

“No touching, Barnes.” She scowled and you pulled your arm out of her grip.

“It’s fine, Natasha. If anything, I’m the one touching him. Sorry I didn’t ask, Sam.” You apologised, but he shook his head.

“It’s okay, he likes the attention.” 

Bucky rolled his eyes but when they came to Natasha, he lowered his eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t ask if I could touch Y/N, Natasha.” 

“You better be.” Natasha stepped towards him but you pulled her back, to which she spun around and growled at you. 

A slap echoed in the room, with Natasha’s jaw clenching as her skin stung. 

“Don’t you ever try and Alpha command me again.” You snarled, pointing a daring finger in her face that she had an idea of biting.

“I am your Alpha!” 

“And I’m a fucking person!” 

“Y/N…” Steve warned you, your mind drifting to the rules.

“Sorry, Head Alpha.” 

He was surprised when you addressed him by his proper title, to which he let the foul slide. “Natasha, Y/N, Wanda - return to your level and talk this out.” He commanded, but you felt no power over you.

You stepped into the elevator and waited for FRIDAY to control it, keeping your cool as Wanda and Natasha came too. Wanda stood next to you whilst Natasha leaned against the wall, staring at you. 

“How are you able to resist an Alpha command?” She questioned.

“Red Room. Resist the command or die.” You replied shortly.

“That’s not what I remember.”

“You’re an Alpha - of course you don’t remember, because it didn’t happen to you. It wasn’t a part of your training program.”

Wanda took your hand and kissed it gently, brushing her thumb over your skin like she was smoothing out a pebble. 

“Stop trying to be a kiss-up, Wanda.” Natasha growled.

“I’m not. I’m respecting my mate, just as you should be doing.” Wanda shot back, her eyes glowing.

Natasha stood up as the elevator slowed, standing next to you. “Don’t think we forgot about your swearing, Omega.”

“Steve let it slide.” You stated, but she shook her head.

“Steve is not your Alpha. I am. Your punishment is ten spankings.” 

“Y-You said no spanking.” You stammered, suddenly feeling very small as the Alpha’s scent overwhelmed your systems. 

“Do you want ten more?”

“Natasha, enough!” Wanda threw her out of the elevator just as the doors opened, letting her skid along the ground before she hit a chair.

“Y/N, go to your room. I’ll be there soon if you’ll allow me inside.”  

You scurried past and shut the door, leaving the Alphas to ‘talk’ it out. “Natasha Romanoff, I don’t know what has gotten into you lately, but this is the most restless I’ve seen you! You need to either dial it down or I will knock you down a few pegs, got it?” 

Natasha took a few deep breaths before she stood, looking at your door. “Why can’t I do anything right?”

“Start by treating her like a person instead of an Omega.” Wanda snapped, coming to knock on your door.

You opened it and she saw how downcast your expression was. “Look at me, Y/N.” She murmured, waiting for your eyes to meet hers.

“May I come in?” 

You nodded, taking her hand and shutting the door before you led her onto your bed and lay down. She didn’t make any advances to be nearer, but she did watch you closely as you fidgeted. 

“I want to go home.” 

“I’m sorry, frumoasă, but you can’t go home. You have to stay here.” She sighed, gently running her knuckle up and down your unmarred cheek.

She watched as a few tears sprung forth and you curled yourself into a ball, your sad pheromones ringing alarm bells in Wanda’s head. “Y/N, can I hug you?”

You nodded and she slowly enveloped you in her warmth, the scent of cinnamon and apples making you calm slightly. Your head became fuzzier and your vision blurred, but it soon refocused as you looked up at Wanda.

“I’m… I’m gonna…” 

“You’re gonna drop?” She asked gently and you nodded.

“I haven’t dropped in a while.” 

She kissed the crown of your forehead gently. “I’ll keep you safe, Y/N. No harm will come to you as long as I am here.” 

You slowly closed your eyes and although every instinct in you said not to, you let go. Wanda felt your release as a sinking of your weight into the mattress, making her smile gently as she continued to pamper you with kisses, a hand running up and down your spine, a blanket slowly peeling over you.

“Good, love. Would you like to sleep?” She offered and you nodded slowly.

“Isokay? No mad?” You slurred.

“Not mad. It’s okay.” She confirmed, feeling your breathing slow until it evened out into slumber.

When you woke, you felt the most refreshed you’d ever felt in your life, like that sleep was the only true sleep you’d ever had. In a way, it was, as having no reason to be on your guard was astoundingly good for your mind. 

You sat up groggily before a knock came to your door, the sight of Wanda making you smile. The long shirt covered most of her torso, leaving the bottom of her silk shorts to poke out. “Morning. Can I come in?” She asked, to which you nodded.

“I wanted to talk to you about Nat.”

Your eyes opened properly after a few blinks. “What about her?”

“She wants to talk to you. Spend time with you and you alone. She wants to know Y/N, not her Omega.”

“I thought they were one and the same.” You chuckled, but Wanda saw the dejection behind your eyes.

“I can’t deny the fact that I love that you’re an Omega. But I also know that it doesn’t define you. You’re strong, independent, caring, witty, just to name a few.” 

You blushed at her description. “Thanks, Wanda.”

She leaned in and kissed your cheek gently. “Will you give Nat a chance? Please?” 

You took a deep sigh and nodded. “One chance. If she blows it, she blows it. No Omega for her.” 

She smiled. “Carol was right, in a way. You’re so feisty, it’s cute.” 

You playfully growled at her and she giggled, biting her bottom lip before she stood. “Come on. Yelena and Kate are making pancakes for breakfast.” 

You yawned and walked with her, hand in hand, and smiled at the Alpha-Beta pair that beamed at you. 

“Y/N! Do you want a pancake?!” Kate offered over the music, which Wanda turned down with her magic. 

“Sorry. Do you want one?” She asked again at a normal volume. 

“Yes please.” You smiled, looking down at the delicious spreads. 

You shuffled onto a chair and thanked Kate for the pancake as it flopped down in front of you. You watched Wanda’s magic bring over the Nutella, to which you almost grabbed from her, but her magic manipulated a knife to spread it evenly over the pancake. 

“I wanted to do that.” You whined playfully, rolling it up before eating it like a burrito.

“I’m just trying to practise my powers, love.” She chuckled, sitting down next to you.

“You may drown the pancake in Nutella for your next one.”

You munched on them slowly before you objected to a third, but you could tell that your stomach was expanding as you never would have thought you could eat this much a week ago. You were laughing along with Kate and Yelena as they dotted on one another, the noirette Alpha taking care of her Beta, whilst Wanda observed you.

You watched as Kate fed Yelena a bite of pancake-wrapped banana and a feeling grumbled in your heart. You wanted that, to be dotted on and loved so carelessly. You wanted to feel as safe as you did last night, to be at peace like that, and you wanted it with Wanda and Natasha. 

Then it dawned on you. 

*Shit!* You looked towards your bedroom before making an excuse to freshen up, quickly scurrying into your ensuite at the sight of a shocked Natasha.

A bottle of strong suppressant pills in her hand.

“Y/N, what…?” Her heart broke, and yours raced.

“Natasha, it’s not what it looks like.”

“It’s not? So these aren’t Omega suppressants? Ones that could kill you?” She growled, but noticed how the room stank of fear.

Wanda, Yelena and Kate came rushing into the room, the witch with her magic whilst Yelena held two spatulas and Kate held the hot frying pan. 

“Y/N, get back!” Yelena yelled, ready to attack whoever was in the bathroom. 

You scrambled into the corner of the room, eyeing your cupboard before you clambered into that and held it shut. Voices were muffled, gasps of shock too, but it was clear what you had done and you knew you would be a goner. 

“Malen’kiy, can you open the cupboard door, please?” Wanda’s soothing voice was clearer as she knocked on it.

“No, no, no, no, no… Gonna punish me, gonna whip me… bad Omega, bad bad Omega…” 

Wanda pulled the door open by your muttering to see you in an out-of-body state, rocking back and forth on top of a pile of dirty laundry. She knelt down in front of you and tried to grasp your attention, but was struggling with the two other Alphas, one with fear and one with shock. 

“Everybody just calm down.” Wanda cooed, mostly to you.

“Bad bad Omega… got caught, gonna whip me…” You kept muttering, only to flinch wildly at Wanda’s touch.

“Shh, Y/N, I’m not going to hurt you.” She tried to calm you but still failed.

“Natasha, get your butt over here.”

The Widow knelt down in front of you and her heart shattered at the sight of your fear-stricken form. Your entire body was shaking while you rocked back and forth, your voice sounding like a broken record.

“Dom her.” Yelena spoke.

“Sestra, stay out of this.” Natasha growled.

“I promise, dom her. She needs to know she’s safe, and it’s not going to do much to just tell her. Dom her, overflow her senses with your pheromones. Trust me, it works.” 

Wanda and Natasha looked at each other before looking at you, their fingers lacing together just as their minds did. Yelena and Kate left, closing the door behind them, and that’s when Natasha and Wanda decided to scent the entire room.

As soon as it hit you, your body stilled. No more rocking, a little bit of shaking, but a whimper came out of your lungs. 

“Omega, your Alphas are here. Come and sit here.” Natasha pointed at her lap.

She watched as your eyes seemed foggy as your sluggish movements guided you into her lap, sitting just like a cradled baby would. Natasha held your torso and Wanda came to her side, running her fingers through your hair as you continued to whimper.

“Gonna whip me, gonna hurt me… M’sorry, Alphas…” 

Wanda shushed you gently. “No, Omega. No whipping. Punishment, yes, but no harm like that will come to you by our hands.” 

You curled further into Natasha, burying your head in her neck to breathe in every possible scent of hers you could. Wanda watched Natasha relax, a calm expression built upon her face whilst realisation hit the witch.

“This is what you needed, my love. You needed to dom her.” 

“I guess so. I feel very relaxed.” The Widow commented.

“It’s her.” Wanda smiled as you stopped shaking. “Can’t you smell it? She reeks of calming scents.” 

Natasha gently tilted your head to the side and smelled your scent glands, the addictive and sweet scent of honey filling her lungs. A purr exuded from her chest and it calmed you to the point of near-sleep, your head lulling back into Wanda’s hands.

“Okay, bring her out slowly.” Wanda guided as she pulled her own pheromones back in.

Natasha didn’t want to, though. You were finally calm, compliant, a true Omega. But she trusted her mate and pulled back her pheromones, only keeping the ones that essentially blocked off your fear.

“Hmm… Natasha? Wanda?” You muttered, looking around the room.

“Hi, darling. How are you feeling?” Natasha murmured.

“I’ve never… I mean I have, but only in the Red Room.” You stammered.

“That was a really, really bad stress-drop, Y/N.” Wanda explained, helping you move to the bed.

“I feel so drained, but so energised.” You looked down at your body to see a sheen of sweat covering it.

“Y/N, can you tell us where all of your suppressants are, please?” The witch tucked a hair behind your ear.

You froze. That’s why you dropped, now you remember. Natasha found them and you tried to hide from her. “Are… Are you mad at me?” 

“Not anymore, my love.” Natasha shook her head, kissing your temple.

“Um… okay, please don’t get mad.” 

You shifted throughout your room and grabbed every bottle and loose pill before placing them on the bed. Natasha and Wanda’s heart sank as a few tears shed down your cheeks, sniffles accompanying them until you stood empty-handed in front of the duo.

“Th-That’s everything, I promise.” 

Wanda stood up and hugged you tightly, something of which you never thought would happen. You hugged her back just as tightly before you started sobbing, your legs failing you but she brought you to the bed. 

“Ple-hease, I was g-going to wean off of them, I promise. Please don’t b-be mad, I’ll be a g-good ‘Mega. I-I’ll wear a collar, I’ll t-take the spankings, I’ll kneel out-outside.” 

“Shh, little ‘mega.” Natasha cooed.

“You won’t be punished for this, Y/N. We were going to, but not anymore.”

“W-Why?” You sniffled as Wanda pulled away, cleaning up your cheeks with her thumbs.

“Because you gave us everything else. If we just got angry at finding that one bottle, then you would have hidden the rest from us and stayed on death row. We could not be more proud or happier that you decided to be honest with us.” She explained.

You let out a shuddering exhale of relief, with feelings rising up in you that you hadn’t felt in a long time. 

“And did you really mean those things? You’d have worn a collar and knelt in public because you thought we were mad?” Natasha asked gently.

You nodded. “Other Alphas did it. I-It’s why I didn’t want a collar at the shops.”

Natasha and Wanda steeled up slightly. “Baby, you’ve been handled by other Alphas?”

You nodded again before looking at Natasha, realisation dawning on her. “Of course. The lease program.”

“What?” Wanda looked between you two.

“It’s where the few Omegas in the Red Room were leased out to the highest bidder for 24 hours, with no law standing in-between them.”

Natasha wrapped you in a tight hug. “I’m so sorry I’ve been ignorant. I’ll be a better Alpha than those pigs, I promise.” 

You nuzzled into her slightly. “Don’ wanna go back there.” 

She shook her head as she let go a bit. “Never. Never in a million years will you ever have to go back there.” 

You relaxed into her grip and felt an overwhelming urge to kiss her. You leaned forward and captured her lips in yours, leaving it after three seconds to be just a simple kiss.

“My… My Alpha.” You murmured.

A stronger-than-steel purr ripped through her chest as her pupils dilated. “What did you just say?” 

You blushed deeply before taking Wanda’s hand, pulling her in for a kiss too. You sighed relaxingly and pulled the two impossibly closer, almost to the point that they could kiss over your shoulder. 

“My Alphas.” 

.

.

A/N: There we go, the ending of my first try at ABO :) tips and tricks are always welcomed for the inbox, just so I can see them easily :) thank you for reading.

#baby writes #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff smut #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff fic #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff angst #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff fluff #wanda maximoff x fem!reader #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wandanat x you #wandanat x y/n #wandanat x female reader #wandanat #wandanat x reader

[spaceshipellie]

everything’s about you to me

ellie williams x reader

chapter two: this house is a graveyard

masterlist for other chapters *✧･ﾟ: wc: 3.7k

summary: in the midst of the apocalypse, you and ellie find each other after you’ve both lost everything. what started out as a mere safety in numbers pairing, turns into something imperishable. however, after some time you get separated, leaving you both to believe the other is dead. four years later you find a commune in wyoming.

warnings: tlou au, death, grief, burying a body, mentions of deceased loved ones, it’s sad sorry :( 18+ mdni

author’s note: i promise the next part will be less traumatic!!! it’s actually going to be very cute (i think anyway lmao) but back to this part!! thank you for all the love so far <3 lmk what you think

♪ ‘cause the world could be burning, and all i’d be thinking, is “how are you doing, baby?”

The sky was a mottled grey overhead as the three of you walked along the rural road. Nearly an hour had passed since the diner but conversations were minimal. From Ellie at least, who was reluctant to share much about herself. It was understandable, you wouldn’t be in a rush to share your life with people you had only just met. The time had allowed you to observe her though. She was wearing a blue button up with the sleeves ripped off and a grey t-shirt underneath, jeans, and converses which matched your own. Her hair was short and roughly tied up in a half up, half down.

You couldn’t help but ponder the reasons as to why she might be alone. She must have been about your age and the thought of being alone terrified you so you couldn’t imagine what she might have been through. Did she have a family? Friends? Where was she going before she met you? All of these questions swirled around your brain but you thought better of bombarding her with them. She seemed lost and forlorn and you didn’t want to do anything to upset her. Your attention was diverted when you heard coughing.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” your mom said, wiping her hand over her mouth. She then pointed up ahead to a farmhouse in the distance. “We should head towards that.”

You nodded and looked over at Ellie who looked back at you. Her lips tightened into a line as she nodded slowly. You prayed that you wouldn't find anything too terrible. Looking at the place, it almost seemed too good to be true. You mentally prepared for the possibility it was either already taken by someone or was hoarding a bunch of infected. Both of which had the opportunity to kill you.

It was another fifteen minutes before you reached the farmhouse. On approach you couldn’t hear anything, but you all cautioned yourselves as you moved towards the front door. Your mom, who insisted on going first, slowly pushed the door open with her foot, gun pointing forward. You gripped your bat and Ellie held the crowbar.

The door creaked as it opened, and eventually a jangle of cans came from above your heads. You winced at the noise, clearly set up by someone as an alarm. Nothing happened though. You relaxed your shoulders slightly as you moved further down the hall. Most of the doors were open giving you a peek at the kitchen-diner on the left side and a living room on the other.

“I’ll check upstairs,” Ellie said, shuffling past you.

You and your mom checked the downstairs rooms, each time meeting each other in the hallway and declaring nobody there. Ellie then returned downstairs.

“Anything?” You asked.

“No, all clear.”

A bang caused all of your heads to face the kitchen. You shared hesitant glances before slowly edging in that direction. It must be outside, you thought, because the kitchen was definitely empty. Your mom slowly turned the back door handle and again, pushed it open with her foot, gun looking left to right. The same noise sounded again.

“The barn,” you whispered.

The closer you got the clearer you could hear heavy breathing. It didn’t really sound like infected but why would a person be banging on a barn wall. You all slipped through the half open door, silence falling. You scanned over the room quickly.

“There doesn’t seem to be any–oh my god!” You involuntarily stepped back, accidentally bumping into Ellie. Your mom and Ellie both followed your eyes to the far corner.

“Shit.”

A man hung from a wooden beam with a rope tight around his neck. A wooden stool lay on its side on the floor beneath him. You only had a moment to take it in before the bang came again from what you now knew to be a stable door. It was followed by another rumbly deep breath. Ellie went over and slowly unbolted the door. A pinto horse with chestnut patches dashed out, neighing wildly and bucking.

“Woah, woah, easy,” Ellie soothed. Her hand came to touch its neck and the horse seemed to calm down ever so slightly. It was still very fidgety and loud but didn’t seem like it was going to run off as Ellie was now stroking its neck. You were amazed at what effect she seemed to be having on the distressed animal. You noticed something white had fallen to the ground after the door had swung open so you went over to pick it up.

“This guy left a note.”

“What does it say?”

“To whoever finds this, I’m sorry that you’re still alive in this fucked up world. If it’s any consolation, I have a pretty decent farmhouse here. Don’t get too many infected unless you go further than a few miles. There’s some food in the cupboards, ammo, first aid stuff. You should be alright here for some time if you’re smart. If you run out of stuff, there’s a town about six miles east. Though I can’t guarantee what’s left of it. And please take care of my horse, Harley. She’s a beaut and I know I’m a coward for leaving her on her own but I couldn't take it anymore. Good luck and thank you. - Jack.”

“God,” your mom breathed.

“Shit’s messed up,” Ellie said.

“Yeah,” you nodded, looking over at Jack's hanging body. “We should cut him down. Maybe bury him. The least we can do when he’s giving us his house.”

The other’s nodded. You walked over to him and picked up the stool, steadying it to stand on. You stood on the stool, your mom warning you to be careful as you reached up to cut the rope. You could see his face clearly now. His brown eyes were open and his face was sunken. His hair was matted and he was wearing muddy, navy overalls. The decomposing smell was faintly running up your nostrils. Judging by it though, he couldn’t have been dead for too long otherwise it would have been difficult to stomach.

You tried to hurry your sawing at the rope until eventually it snapped and his body hit the ground with a heavy thud. You wobbled as you dismounted the stool, searching around for a shovel. You wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible. You spotted one in the corner and grabbed it before purposely walking out the barn door and round to the side of it, throwing down the shovel. Marching back in, you saw Ellie had already started to grab his arms and your mom went to grab his legs before she dropped them, doubling over in a coughing fit.

“Let me,” you said, taking his legs.

You and Ellie carried him out to where you had dropped the shovel and placed him down. You grabbed the shovel and started digging, haphazardly tossing the soil into a large pile. The atmosphere was gloomy and solemn. No one spoke as you kept digging, pausing to wipe your forehead, smearing mud on it.

“Want me to take over?” Ellie offered.

“No,” you said, a little too abruptly, “it’s okay.”

Flashes of your dad’s lifeless body cursed your mind as you ignored the ache in your arms. The way it had fallen in a bloody heap and there was nothing you could do. No way for you to reach out and touch him or tell him goodbye. Tell him everything will actually be fine and you can find him a doctor. Tell him thank you for keeping you safe. You could never go back and change your last moments with him and it killed you.

“Honey, I think that’s enough,” your mom’s voice was mellow yet concerned as she looked down at you.

She helped you out of the deep grave you had dug and you wiped your hands on your jeans, staring down at the empty pit. You and Ellie resumed holding Jack's arms and legs as you lowered him in, letting him drop the last little bit as you couldn’t reach. You looked at his face one last time, letting out a deep breath before picking up the shovel again and piling all of the dirt back in. By the time you were done, the wind had picked up and it howled around you.

“We should go inside, I’ll go and check that the horse is tied up,” Ellie excused herself as you and your mom made your way back towards the back door of the house.

“I’m gonna go upstairs” your mom said before making her way up there.

You looked around the kitchen, wringing your hands together. The last twenty-four hours had been a shit show and you could do with some peace now that you had found this place. You dumped your backpack and jacket on the dining table and started rummaging through the cupboards, remembering how the note had said there was food. Your eyes brightened upon seeing stacks of cans filled right up to the front. What a gold mine, you thought. You heard the floorboards at the top of the stairs creak.

“Hey, look at all this, isn’t it–” you turned excitedly with a can of ravioli in your hand, but your smile faltered when you saw your mom’s face. Her eyes damp and bloodshot.

“What is it?”

“Honey, I–” her voice cracked. You put the can down.

“Mom?”

“Honey, I’m sorry, I didn’t know until I…” her voice was strangled as she gestured upstairs.

Ellie then came through the door and stopped in her tracks as she noticed the tension in the room.

“Mom, tell me. Please.”

She cleared her throat.

“I was bit.”

Her words punctured a hole right through you, a lump forming in your throat.

“No, no, no, no,” your words got more rapid and desperate. This can’t be happening.

“W-where?”

Your mom pulled her top away from her shoulder and turned to show the gruesome bite mark on the back of it. You saw how the blood had run from it, some of it fresh, some of it dry.

“I wasn’t sure if it was just an injury or what until I looked in the mirror.”

She pulled her top back up and faced you again. You were crying, silently. In fact, the silence in the entire room was deafening.

“Please don’t leave me.” Your voice was hushed and weak. Your mom walked over and cupped your cheeks, brushing a tear away with her thumb.

“My baby, I’m so sorry.”

No one said anything for a moment, you just cried as she hugged you.

“I do not want to turn into one of those things and hurt you.”

You pulled back to look at her, eyes darting between hers.

“So what…w-what do you mean?”

“I mean,” she took in a shaky breath, “I’m going to take care of it myself,” her voice cracked and a sad smile stretched her lips and she nodded as if she was convincing herself.

“No,” you whispered, pulling her in for a bone crushingly tight hug.

“It’s better this way,” she said as she rubbed your back, “I’m going to take my gun, you still have plenty others here, and I’m going to walk as far as I can make it and you are not going to look for me.”

“I can’t–it’s not fair,” your voice was lost in her hair.

“I know it’s not, but hey, look at me,” she brushed your hair away from your face.

“You’re going to be okay, you hear me? You’re going to stay here, in this house, together,” she looked at Ellie as she said the last word before looking back at you. You tried to speak but she shook her head so she could finish.

“I need to know that you’ll do that for me, and that you’ll stay safe, okay?” She hugged you again, “promise me, baby.”

“I promise.”

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too, mom.”

“You’ll be okay.”

She gave you a final squeeze and pulled away.

“I probably don’t have long left so…” she dizzily looked around for her gun.

Your body involuntarily moved towards her but you stopped yourself. You couldn’t stop this. Nothing could. She coughed again and you could see her hands twitching. She shook out all the bullets from her gun except for two. You could tell she was trying her hardest to keep it together, but she could never fool you. The fear was making her face seem hollow and cold. Her fingers trembled as they clutched the gun. She looked at you one last time before leaving out the back door and that was the last time you ever saw her.

Ellie could see how your body was about to crumble and she moved quickly to grab you as you fell down to your knees. She knelt beside you and held your shaking body. Her chin rested on your shoulder and your eyes left wet patches on hers. It felt like the air had been knocked out of you. Everything you’d ever known was gone.

Even with everything you were feeling right now you felt guilty that this girl you’d only just met had to deal with you like this. But you were grateful she was there.

She stayed there until you were ready to pull away, revealing your bloodshot eyes and cracked lips. You slumped back against the counter and Ellie sat with her arms wrapped around her bent knees. Her eyebrows were furrowed, and her eyes looked glossy as she stared at the ground. Your head ached from the crying and your face felt swollen.

“I don’t know what to do,” your voice squeaked. She took a minute to answer and her jaw clenched.

“You can’t do anything,” she mumbled, defeatedly.

It was getting darker by the minute. The haunting silence was only disrupted by a moth tapping against the ceiling. You felt overwhelmed with groggy tiredness but equally you couldn’t switch your brain off. Normally you would go to bed thinking about what to do the next day but now, you didn’t care. You couldn’t think of anything to care about.

“Maybe we should try and get some sleep,” Ellie suggested. You just nodded, slowly.

Ellie got up and left the room and you heard her lock the front door, she came back in to grab a chair and propped one under the front door and one under the back door handle just in case the locks were dodgy. She also went round closing all the curtains and checking that all of the windows were shut. Meanwhile, you sat on the kitchen floor, feeling like a ghost. She grabbed as much stuff from the table as she could including half of your things before you willed yourself up onto your feet to grab the rest. At the top of the stairs, Ellie turned to you.

“Which one do you want?”

You looked at the two bedrooms and just pointed at one of them, not really analysing it. She went in and dropped off the stuff that was yours.

“Thanks.”

“S’okay.”

She went into the other room and put her stuff down whilst you put your gun and bat near your bed. You sighed a withered sigh as you looked around the room. It had a double bed which was made up with a duvet and pillows. It had a mirrored dresser on one wall and a wardrobe on the other. The furniture looked like it hadn’t been updated for several decades before the outbreak. The wallpaper was peeling off the walls in places and framed paintings of the countryside adorned them. It was a gift that you had found this place but it was a hard one to appreciate right now. Ellie came out of her room and leant her hand on the bannister.

“Um, goodnight then I guess.”

“Yeah,” you awkwardly bit your lip, “goodnight.”

Your head still pounded with the number of tears that had been shed over the past two weeks. It felt like you were going insane. You had mostly stayed cooped up in your room, not knowing how to handle the grief. Thankfully, due to the supplies that had already been in the house you hadn’t needed to go for a supply run yet. Ellie had left you alone, not wanting to interfere. The few times you had bumped into her there was a strained tension between you. You weren’t surprised considering this was an unusual circumstance for meeting someone new, but you felt strange about it nonetheless and hoped that in time, it would ease. After all, you were supposedly stuck together for the foreseeable future.

Up until this point you had been feeling a great sorrow where your whole body ached and you could barely tell that the days were passing. Now, however, you were entering a state of numbness, a complete disconnect from what was around you. It was as if the world had been chipping away at you piece by piece all these years and this had been the last hit before you had declined into nothing.

On the first night you had looked through the bedroom draws and had found some spare clothes to sleep in. You and Ellie had also managed to wash your own clothes with some rainwater you had collected and some soap you found in the bathroom. It hadn’t necessarily made them squeaky clean but it was better than nothing. It had also been relieving to have been able to clean your skin for the first time in a while. You were sitting on the bed with your knees bunched up against your chest and your cheek resting on them, eyes trailing over some of the pictures on the wall.

You sighed, pulling yourself up from the bed and slumping over to the mirrored dresser. Your devoid expression stared back at you. Your hair had been messed around from lying against the pillow for so long so you feebly attempted to tidy it before faltering towards the stairs. The floorboards at the top creaked under your weight and your hand gripped the bannister tightly, as if you would fall if you let go. With trembling steps, you made your way down and peeked through the open living room door. Ellie was slouching on the couch looking at a piece of crumpled paper.

“What’s that?” Your voice croaked so you coughed to clear it.

Her head shot to you as she was caught off guard by your presence. “Looks like instructions on how to get to the town.”

You shuffled over and sat beside her so you could see. She handed it to you, using her now free hands to rub her tired eyes. You observed the scribbles on the paper. It featured a roughly drawn map of squares and arrows, labelled with things like ‘road on the big hill’ and ‘supermarket.’

“Will be worth a try in a few days, we’re probably still alright for now,” she suggested. You nodded, putting the map down on the coffee table.

You picked at your hands in your lap, not knowing what to say. You and Ellie hadn’t said much to each other since you got here, events having not really allowed for it. You realised that you knew next to nothing about her. About her life, where she had come from, why she had saved you. Your eyes trailed down to the bandage on her right arm again.

“What happened to your arm?”

She immediately placed her left hand over it as if she was embarrassed or covering something up. “Oh, I uh, I got stabbed.”

You drew in a short breath. “Ouch.”

“Yeah,” she looked down at her arm, “it was pretty bad.”

Your sleeves were pushed up and she noticed you had a scar on your elbow.

“How did you get that?” She asked, gesturing to it. You lifted your arm, twisting it to look.

“Oh, that was from,” a puff of air escaped your nose, “it’s stupid and not as cool sounding as yours, I fell out of a tree trying to get a closer look at a bluebird.”

“Wow,” she snickered, “hope the look was worth it.”

“It was,” you looked down into your lap, running your hand over your arm, “you don’t come across many pretty things like that.”

You didn’t notice her looking at you when you spotted something behind the slightly open door of the cabinet the TV was resting on. You got up and crouched beside it, pulling the items out.

“CDs,” you mused to yourself, shuffling through them. Foo Fighters, Jimi Hendrix, Eagles, Tracy Chapman, Nirvana, Dolly Parton, Nickelback, and a few others.

“Too bad I can’t find the CD player,” Ellie remarked.

“Hm. It must be somewhere,” you said, fixing the pile of CDs, leaving them out on the coffee table as a reminder to look for the CD player. You stayed sitting on the floor, leaning on one of your hands and glanced around. You hadn’t really been in this room much. By the window was where the cabinet and TV sat then opposite was the dusty blue couch with a couple of limp throw cushions on. The walls were off white and much like upstairs, were covered in framed paintings. The windowsill was thick with dust and the moth-eaten curtains floated with the light breeze that was coming in from the open window.

“If you don’t mind me asking, where were you going before you came with us?”

Ellie stretched her hands and placed them on her knees, shuffling in her seat.

“Uh, nowhere really.”

“You didn’t have to be so nice to me that night, so thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me.”

She looked down at the ground with squinted eyes, her head shaking a little.

“Well, I want to,” you murmured softly, “you’d barely just met me and not a lot of people would have been that way.”

You looked up at her but she wasn’t looking at you, almost as if it would hurt her to do so.

taglist *✧･ﾟ: @bellasfavelesbo @ximtiredx @abbyily @heartzjules @gold-dustwomxn @sawaagyapong @aouiaa @pinkigirl @nil-eena @ucannotcompare @cherriesxinthespring @blvebanisters @lonelyfooryouonly @ellieslegalwife @carmellie @iheartgeto @faceache111 @lveunoialv @jajsnjz @simpforellie @frickfrack-paddywack-ukulel-blog @unicycl @cass00x @lizziee-williamss1 @muthafuckingstargirl @kattirin @corpsebridenightamare

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams fic #spaceshipellie fics #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x y/n #ellie x reader #ellie williams #everything’s about you to me #ellie tlou #ellie williams fics #tlou fic #tlou 2 ellie #ellie x you #ellie williams angst #ellie williams fluff

[theniceandaccurategoodomensblog]

I keep puzzling over the bizarre mirroring with Maggie and Nina and I keep coming back to the idea that Maggie is Aziraphale and Nina is Crowley after all.

Read more under the cut or on AO3 here.

Let me explain. We are initially set up to think of Maggie as the Aziraphale mirror and Nina as the Crowley mirror. Then when we see Nina’s abusive relationship we reconsider. It looks rather like Aziraphale’s relationship with Heaven. Is this a mirroring switch? That would make sense except then the single biggest piece of Maggie = Aziraphale mirroring happens: Nina calls Aziraphale Maggie right in front of Crowley. So if it is a mirroring switch, then it switches right back again. Why?

What is going on? What can this possibly mean?

The thing is, the thing is… the only mirroring that points to Maggie being Crowley and Nina being Aziraphale is the abusive relationship itself…

If we exclude that then all of the mirroring points to Maggie as Aziraphale and Nina as Crowley.

That is:

Maggie = Aziraphale

-Record shop instead of a Bookshop

-Style and clothing

-Sunshiney personality

-Maggie says she’s “not that kind of person” in connection to Lindsay thinking she’s Nina’s bit on the side

-Maggie is connected to Aziraphale and the Bookshop from birth through her family

-Maggie doesn’t drink but there’s “no judgement” for Nina’s drinking (yes Aziraphale drinks but Crowley started drinking first and is more likely to drink to excess)

-Nina calls Maggie angel in front of Crowley.

Nina = Crowley

-Style - the coolness factor

-Grumpy exterior

-Nina herself connects herself to Crowley and Maggie to Aziraphale

-Give me coffee or give me death- if coffee is a metaphor for freedom then Nina is playing the role of the Serpent, dispensing freedom

-Crowley says to Nina “trust someone for once in your life” (and the person he’s telling her to trust is Aziraphale).

-Nina wants to cope with the break up with Lindsay by drinking alcohol and crying in her empty flat.

And the other thing is — Nina’s abusive relationship with Lindsay does not perfectly mirror Aziraphale’s relationship with Heaven. If it did, we’d see Nina being manipulated into getting back with Lindsay and we don’t. Instead, what we see is Lindsay breaking up with Nina. We see an abusive relationship where the abuser calls it quits and ends the relationship. Now, who do we know who had an abusive relationship with God/Heaven and then was dumped by God/Heaven? Not Aziraphale. Crowley!

And the other other thing is the purpose of mirroring is to tell the reader/audience something about the main characters that they do not already know from the main characters directly. We all know that Aziraphale is in an abusive relationship with Heaven. It is obvious from watching Aziraphale interaction with the Metatron directly. But what if it is telling us something more about Crowley’s past or current relationship with Heaven? Could that tell us something new? Absolutely! There’s much about the war and the Fall and the aftermath of it all that is unknown.

So, let’s take seriously the possibility that Maggie is a mirror for Aziraphale and Nina a mirror for Crowley and see where that leads us…

Lindsay is controlling and passive-aggressive. They demand utter devotion from Nina and when she fails to meet this impossible standard Lindsay breaks it off with Nina in favour of moving in with her sister who apparently cares for her in the impossibly devoted way she expects. This sounds just like God and Heaven casting out Crowley and the other demons in favour of the angels who were sufficiently devoted according to God/Heaven’s impossible standards.

In the aftermath of the break up Nina understands that Maggie is in love with her but she also knows that she is not ready for a relationship just yet.

I can see two possible readings of this (and it could be a bit of both).

The first possibility is that Maggie and Nina are there to show us a piece of Aziraphale and Crowley’s past, a slice of time we haven’t seen directly— the war, the Fall and the immediate aftermath. Has Aziraphale loved Crowley since meeting him in Heaven? Was it Crowley who held back in the early years?

The other possibility is that the mirroring is telling us something about Crowley’s current state that isn’t readily apparent. That is, that he is not psychologically ready for a relationship with Aziraphale (whether he knows this or not) because he still hasn’t healed sufficiently from the Fall. This isn’t about Crowley loving Aziraphale or not or him wanting to declare his love or not. It is about the fact that, like Nina, he still needs to psychologically heal in order to be ready for a healthy and happy relationship. This is consistent with a demon who continues to act out the Fall with his plants, who doesn’t tell his best friend that he is living in his car and who is oblivious to obvious romantic overtures.

We are used to the idea that it is Aziraphale who holds the relationship back while Crowley goes too fast but the mirroring suggests that there’s another dynamic to the dance too. This is consistent with what we see in season two— Aziraphale making romantic overtures and Crowley missing them. Perhaps it is not just Aziraphale who is setting the slow pace of their romance.

It also gives context to how Crowley responds in the Final Fifteen, especially if you suspect that Aziraphale may be lying or trying to send Crowley subtle cues. Of course Crowley misses them. He is right back in his trauma place hearing the loud and angry love is being asked for impossible things and being rejected forever klaxon sounding.

The mirroring leaves us in a hopeful place, however, Aziraphale will wait until Crowley is ready, has been waiting until Crowley is ready this whole time in fact.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #good omens meta #mirroring #crowley #aziraphale #Nina #Maggie #good omens analysis #mirror Nina #mirror Maggie #mirrors #my meta #the Fall

[wandering-winchesters]

Haunted

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Word Count: 5,200 (Sorry, not sorry) Summary: The reader gets ghost sickness. Trigger Warnings: mentions of anxiety, death, typical supernatural violence and suspense. Requested: No, just an idea I had. A/N: Requests are open! I recently watched the episode where Dean has Ghost Sickness and it made me crack up. Please let me know what you think about this one!

Masterlist

The hunt was going well, as well as it could. We had just arrived in Minnesota, a small Northern town. It had caught Sam’s attention, because of the amount of people that had been dropping dead from a mysterious illness, that presented as a heart attack. They weren’t sure what it was, but we came to check it out anyways. Sam had gone to the library, Dean had hit up a local diner to ask questions and I made my way to the hospital. Upon arriving, I flashed my FBI badge and was allowed back into the small morgue. The body didn’t appear out of the normal realm of possibility for a dead body. Slightly defeated, I left.

I pulled out my phone and sent Sam and Dean a quick text, letting them know I was heading back to the motel. Dean offered to come pick me up, but I declined. It was a five minute walk on the quiet small town streets, the fresh air would do me good. I took a deep breath, surveying the scene around me. A few other people walked the street, but it was mostly empty. The sun setting on the horizon a reminder of the time of day, most people already home and inside for the night. A feeling of unease crept up my spine, the hair on the back of my neck standing at attention. I glanced around, checking my immediate surroundings for any sign of danger, but nothing. Yet, even with this visual reassurance, the feeling didn’t subside. I tried to shake it off, picking up the pace slightly, intent on getting back to the motel room.

I make it back within a couple of minutes, kicking off my high-heeled boots and shrugging my suit jacket, the FBI get up my least favorite. I hear Dean chuckle from the small table in the corner of the room, his eyes trained on my every movement. “Have something to say, Winchester?” I quip, I set the jacket down on the back of the chair across from Dean, “Nope, it’s just always amusing to watch you kick off those heels you hate so much.” He says, a smile plastered across his face, his hands full between a beer and the sandwich that he is in the middle of consuming. I roll my eyes at him and rest my foot on the seat of the chair, hiking up my pant leg so I can access the gun that I had holstered there. I remove the holster from my ankle and walk over to set it on the nightstand next to my bed. Dean and I had shared this room and Sam had one, right across the hallway from us. Although, during the day we all hung out in here when we weren’t out investigating.

“I’d like to see you spend ten minutes in heels, Dean, let alone a full day.” I huff at him, stealing one of his chips that had fallen out of the bag that he had set down haphazardly on the table. He raised his hands in surrender, offering me another chip to make up for his joke about the high heels. “Did you find anything out at the diner?” I ask him as I unbutton the white shirt that I had on underneath the jacket, revealing the white tank top that I had on as a base layer. The bashfulness of changing in front of either of the Winchesters, long gone. Traveling with them for years tends to have that effect, Dean has seen me naked on multiple occasions. They have both stitched me up after bad hunts, but Dean was the only one to help me shower and change. Dean mumbles something, his mouth half full, a sentence that I simply cannot understand because of the amount of food he was chewing. I shoot him a look, he holds up one finger and finishes chewing before he speaks again.

“Nope, nothing. All everyone could say was that they were surprised to hear of the deaths of those three people. All of them were healthy, definitely not people that were likely to have a heart attack.” I hum in response, lost in thought as I rack my brain for any semblance of a similar case. I walk to my duffle bag and search for the pair of leggings that I always keep in there, only to not find them. Cursing, I realize I had left them hung over the chair in my bedroom back at the bunker. “Dean, can I borrow a pair of your sweats? I forgot my comfy pants.” I ask him, glancing over at him. He nods, gesturing for me to help myself. I unbutton my black dress pants and kick them to the side. I walk over to Deans bed, a mess of sheets and blankets, his clothes strewn across the bed as well. I grab the pair of sweats that I am looking for and pull them on. I snag one of his sweatshirts as well, embracing the comfort as it envelops me. The scent of whiskey, leather and gun cleaner overwhelms my nostrils, Dean. “Sam should be here any minute, he just texted me.” Dean calls out, as I walk into the bathroom, I thank him for letting me know and jump through the shower quickly.

After my shower, I make my way back out to the main room and sit down across from Dean at the table that he is still occupying. The feeling of unease, still unwavering. No matter how hard I try to push it down. “What about you, did you find anything at the morgue?” He asks, pushing a takeout container across the table towards me, one that I didn’t realize he had gotten for me. I give him a smile and open the container revealing my favorite comfort food. His small gesture of kindness, enough to almost make me cry. I don’t but the thought was there.

“Nothing out of the ordinary, no sulfur or strange markings on the body. It all seemed normal.” I shrug, taking a bite of the food he had brought for me. I allow my mind to wander, going back over all of the things that we had discussed, the lore I had read and the things that I had seen today. The unease within me turning to pure anxiety. So much so, that when the door to the motel opens abruptly, I jump to my feet and reach for the gun that had been holstered at my ankle earlier in the day. Only that I had already taken it off and put it by my bed. My eyes land on Sam and I relax, sheepishly offering a small apology to both of the Winchesters who were looking at me questioningly. “I told you he was coming, Y/N. You okay?” Dean asks, his eyes narrowed and carefully studying my face. The jumpiness they had just witnessed very uncharacteristic for me. I was normally incredibly level headed, fear something that I had harnessed into a strength instead of a weakness.

I take a deep breathe, bringing my heart rate back down to the rate it normally was. “Yeah, all good. Sorry again, must just be jumpy today.” I say, sitting back down and returning to the food in front of me. Hunger, was no longer a pressing need. My stomach was churning, anxiety bubbling and that damn feeling of unease creeping back in louder than ever.

Sam didn’t hang out long, exhaustion a mutual feeling between all of us. I had moved to my bed, giving Sam my seat at the table with Dean. A wave of sleep was cresting over me at this very moment, threatening to crash down at any moment. I said goodnight to Sam as he turned to leave, giving him a sleepy wave as I burrowed further under my blankets. Dean closed the door behind his brother, locking it and tucking a chair under the handle for an added measure of protection. Something that I appreciated about him, it wasn’t a precaution he would take unless I was there in the room with him. “G’night Dean, Sweet dreams.” I whisper, rolling to my side and letting the wave of sleep finally crash over all of me, enveloping me in the darkness.

I am startled awake, a gasp leaving my throat as I sit straight up in bed. The dark room around me looming, shapes drifting that were most likely my eyes playing tricks on me. A small Yelp leaves my lips as the light in the room clicks on, revealing all of the shapes that had been worrying me, to be standard furniture. I look to my left and see Dean, his hand still resting on the lamp that he had turned on. His eyes focused on me, concern etched through his sleep dampened features. “You okay?” He asks, a yawn forcing its way past his lips. I rest my hand on my chest, my heart thumping against my ribs. I look over at him, my eyes wide with panic and my heart in my throat. “I-I don’t know.” I stutter, glancing around the room once again, nothing appearing to be out of place. Yet, whatever had awoken me was enough to cause me to startle nearly out of my skin. I swing my legs over the side of the motel bed, padding quietly into the small bathroom. I grip the edge of the sink with both hands, leaning over it and staring at my reflection in the mirror.

The bags under my eyes are growing darker by the minute, pure exhaustion settled firmly across my body. It is only then that I notice the spider crawling across the counter headed straight towards my hand, before I can even blink a splitting scream leaves my throat. I jump away from the sink, pressing my back to the bathroom wall and covering my face, The fear that had travelled through my body in the split second, enough to bring tears to my eyes. I hear a clatter from the room, Dean not wasting anytime to shoulder open the bathroom door. His gun drawn, eyes wide searching the room for any threat. When he can’t identify one, he lowers his gun. His attention fully focused on me and the way I was cowering against the wall. He raises an eyebrow at me, a frown tugging at the corners of his lips. “What is wrong, Y/N?” He asks, and I raise one hand, shakily pointing towards the counter.

“S-spider, De, right there.” His eyes follow my finger and land where I was pointing, his gaze growing even more concerned as his focus lands on the spider, no larger than the eraser on a pencil. He silently scoops it into a paper cup, walking it over to the window in the bathroom and allowing it to scurry outside. There is a knock at the door to the motel room, which again draws a startled yelp from me. “It’s Sam, I heard a scream. What’s going on?” Sam’s muffled voice calls from the other side of the door, Dean hurriedly crosses the distance from the bathroom to the door and lets Sam into the cramped room. “She saw a spider.” Dean says, his tone hushed, concern obvious from the way he formed his words. I walk out of the bathroom, both of their eyes locked on my every move. “Since when are you afraid of spiders?” Sam asks, curiosity laced in his tone.

“Spiders are terrifying Sam! What are you talking about?” Taking offense at his tone, the demeaning way that he questioned why I would react like that to the arachnid. Dean lets out a low, ‘uh-huh’ and gives Sam another look. “Y/N, how do you feel about snakes?” Dean asks, crossing his arms and glancing towards me thoughtfully. “Terrifying.” I whisper, a shudder making its way through my body. “Motorcycles?” Sam asks, naming off things that I used to enjoy doing or being around. “Death traps on wheels!” They spend the next ten minutes questioning me on things like this, until I snap. “What’s the point of all of this? It’s just making me scared!” I whine, crossing my arms across my chest and resisting the urge to cover my ears in the most childlike manner. Sam and Dean exchange glances once again. “Y/N, did you happen to touch the body when you were in the morgue? Or get any bodily fluids on you?” Dean asks, his eyebrows pulled together in the middle of his forehead, concern still evident. “Uh,” I hesitate thinking back over todays events, trying to recall just what had happened at the morgue.”Yeah, I touched his face to get a closer look at something, why?”

“Dammit,” Dean mutters, panic now growing ever more present on his features. He pulls out the EMF reader from his bag, turning it on and watching it go crazy the closer to me he placed it. “Ghost sickness.” Sam chimes in, the expression on his face mirroring the one on Deans. I look frantically between the two of them, waiting for them to explain what they mean. “What the hell is ghost sickness?” I ask, my own fear level rising quickly within me. Dean explains the whole thing for me, in detail. Recounting the time that he had ghost sickness in the past, the grip that fear had on him entirely. The steps they had to take to get rid of the spirit and the timeline on the whole thing. Sam had already sequestered my laptop, his fingers flying over the keys before pausing as his eyes scanned the webpage for any piece of information that could help. I did my best to remain calm, but failed miserably. My heart pounding, eyes watering and body shaking.

Petrified of the thought of death that is fast approaching. Dean can see this, its obvious as I have no sense about me to try and appear okay. “Hey,” He whispers, tucking a finger under my chin and raising my head so he can look into my eyes. “Its going to be okay, we’ve got you, I promise.” I bite my lip, my chin quivering as a tear begins to fall from my eyes. Dean notices immediately, his thumb wiping away every tear as it fell. He pulls me to my feet, embracing me in a tight hug. It doesn’t make the fear go away, but it does ease the anxiety the slightest bit.

—

The next several hours are a blur, a constant search for who the spirit was, where their body might be and how we can get rid of all remnants before my clock runs out. There is a constant stream of occurrences that Sam and Dean take turns handling, little things that normally wouldn’t have been a big deal, but in this moment are absolutely terrifying to me. A moth, the sound of a door slamming. When I looked out the window and saw a thunderstorm approaching, I was convinced that I was going to be struck by lightening from inside the motel. All of which the boys handled with grace. Except for the moth, Dean tried his hardest but couldn’t help his small laugh that escaped when he saw me cowering in the corner terrified that the moth was going to hurt me.

He apologized, when he saw the absolute hurt and betrayal sweep across my face, pulling me in for another hug. Sam is mostly quiet, his eyes glued to the screen on the laptop, I can tell by his concentration that he is slowly growing closer to a possible answer. “Ive got it!” Sam exclaims, causing me to nearly fall out of the nest that I had constructed of blankets and pillows on Deans motel bed. I steady myself and look at him, waiting for his explanation as to what he had found. “Curtis Marshall, he was murdered back in 1973, found shot to death in his kitchen. There was never much of an investigation and it was swept under the rug and labeled a suicide. But from what I can see, everything was definitely pointing towards a homicide.” He says, his face growing lighter as he reads, relief flooding over him. A solution, to a heavy question. “It says here, that he was buried in a cemetery in town. So, simple salt and burn and we should be good to go.” Sam stands, shutting his laptop and grabbing his jacket that he had slung across the back of the chair he had been occupying. “Ill stay here with Y/N, if you want to take care of the salt and burn.” Dean offers, Sam looks at him and they appear to have a silent conversation that ends in agreement.

“I don’t need babysitting, we can all go.” I mutter, a bit of spite coming out in my words. “So you can get scared by a bee and find a way to accidentally get yourself killed?” Dean asks, raising an eyebrow at me skeptically. “I don’t think so.” I resign myself to contempt and slouch back in Deans bed. I watch silently as Sam grabs a few things that he will need, catching the keys to the impala when Dean tosses them to him. He bids us a quick farewell and heads out into the early morning darkness, the sun just starting to approach the horizon. Once the door shuts behind him, Dean focuses his attention on me. I stare back at him, unsure what to talk about or what to do while we wait. My main focus on remaining calm, the thought of dying from a heart attack a thought that drives me to the edge of pure panic and terror.

My chest growing tighter the longer that I focused on it, I couldn’t hear anything around me. The only sound flowing through my ears was the sound of my own blood whooshing, my heart beating roughly against my ribs, bile rising in my throat as I continue to fall deeper into the images being created by my mind. “Y/N?” Dean asks, the look on his face telling me that he had asked me a question and I hadn’t responded to it as it had fallen on deaf ears. “Huh? Sorry I am distracted.” I apologize, focusing in on him as he crosses the room to get closer to me. He sits down on the side of the bed, his hand coming to rest on my knee. “In all our years of friendship, did you ever think that this would be the way you died? Ghost sickness?” His words shock me to my core, completely unexpected coming from the man I thought cared about me deeply. I shrink away from him, pulling myself as far to the other side of the bed as I can without falling to the floor.

“What do you mean, Dean? Sam is on his way to salt and burn the body now, I’m not going to d-“My breath catches in my throat as I focus on his eyes. It wasn’t Dean looking back at me, It was a Demon. I watch in fear as they flash from his usual green to black, a nasty grin spreading across his face. I hurriedly throw the covers off of my lap, struggling to untangle my legs from the lengths of fabric. Just as my feet touch the grungy carpeted motel floor, he lunges for me, managing to lock his hand around my ankle. He yanks me hard, causing me to stumble and fall flat onto the hard floor. All the air is knocked out of my lungs, but I still struggle. Doing my best to crawl away from him, even though his grasp on my body is tight. I let out a scream, his body now shrouding my own as he straddles me. His hands finding their way to my wrists as he pins my legs to the floor with his hips. My heart is pounding so hard, it feels like it is going to burst.

The oxygen necessary to survive coming as gasps, unable to subside the burn within my lungs as I struggle for breath. He lets out a laugh, cold and bitter, enough to chill me to my core. It was Dean’s laugh, but twisted in ways that I never wanted to hear again in my life. “Look at you, so pitiful. So fearful. It’s a glorious sight, I can’t wait to watch you die.” He croons, his face coming down to hover close to my own. I spit at him, bringing my knee up to hit him straight in the groin, giving me the slightest chance to slip away from him. I take it and throw his weight off of me, just enough to scramble to the door of the motel. It’s locked, the chair wedged under the handle and in my panic I can’t get the chair loose. This momentary lapse in ability, gives him just enough time to close the distance between us again.

His body slamming my own into the length of the door, a desperate scream leaves my lips as I struggle to get him off of me. His hands move towards my face, I expect them to close around my throat and I lash out. My eyes are scrunched closed as I scratch, hit and use every muscle in my body to fight back. Instead of wrapping around my throat, his hands come to rest on my shoulders and they shake me, desperately. “Y/N!” He yells, his voice different, desperate but not evil. I hesitantly open my eyes and Dean’s green eyes are searching my face, desperate and horrified. “It’s me, it’s Dean, you’re okay.” I throw his hands off of me, scrambling to get as far away from him as possible. He holds his hands up in mock surrender, allowing me the space that I was crying out for.

“Don’t touch me!” I yell, hugging my arms to my chest, surrounding myself in the smallest amount of comfort I can find. “You’re not Dean, y-youre a demon!” I cry out, searching the room desperately for the demon killing knife that I know Dean keeps close by at all times. Dean takes a cautious step towards me, his hands still up in an attempt to calm me. I keep him at a distance and cross the room in a way that makes it look like we are walking in a big circle. He reaches for a small bottle that he keeps on his nightstand at all times, he holds it up so I can recognize it for what it is, holy water. He unscrews the lid and takes a sip of it, the relaxed expression communicating what he was trying to tell me. Not a demon. Just Dean. I relax slightly, dropping my arms back to my side, relief flooding through me. “but, you were just trying to kill me!” I say, my voice shuddering and fear sweeping over me once again. “It was a hallucination, Y/N. We were sitting on my bed talking and then you were just off, running for the door. I pinned you so you couldn’t leave on your own and it took me awhile to get through to you.” I listen to his words, but they seem impossible. How could that have been a hallucination? I could feel him, smell him, hear the way he laughed at my impending doom, I could see the way his eyes changed from green to pitch black. It just didn’t seem possible. I’m going crazy. My body is a mass of nerves, my muscles shaky and aching for relief. I rest my back against the wall and slide down to the floor, my hands holding my head as my world caves in around me. I am going to die. This was it, hallucinations are the second to last progression of the ghost sickness. My heart is in my throat, regret flooding over me. “Dean, listen to me.” I say, raising my head to look at him. He had crossed the room to sit across from me, his legs crossed in front of him. He looks at me, his gaze holding my own as he gives me a small nod to let me know that he was listening. “I know I am about to die, this is how you told me it ends for people who get ghost sickness. The hallucinations-“ I shudder, my voice faltering for a moment. Dean goes to interrupt me but I stop him, “No, I need to say this. Please.” I plead, tears beginning to fall from my red rimmed eyes once again, my cheeks raw from how much I had been crying. He nods, allowing me to continue my thought. I bite my lip and lower my eyes to the floor, unable to say this directly to his face. “If this is my last day, I have to tell you. I love you. I have always loved you. Every day that you have been in my life on earth, and every day that you were in hell. I have loved you. I have longed for you and I can’t lose you again without telling you.” It’s at this moment, when the last word leaves my lips that a sense of relief floods over me. Fear lifting like darkness in the morning when the sun rises again. I inhale deeply, oxygen filling every space within my lungs for the first time in what feels like forever. I can’t explain it, the sudden lack of terror. But I am going to enjoy every second of it while it lasts.

What I don’t see, is the way that Deans face flashes several emotions in a matter of seconds. Fear, at the thought of my death. Shock, at the revelation of the feelings that I have had for him for so long. Relief, at the fact that he shares the same feelings. Last of all, adoration. Absolute awe, that I love him in the same way that he loves me. He closes the distance between us, sitting with his back to the same wall and wrapping an arm around my waist. 
“First off,” He whispers, his lips brushing against the side of my face, sending shivers down my spine. “You’re not going to die. I promise you that. Sam is going to burn the body before anything happens to you. Second, I would fight though any hell to get you back, I don’t care what I had to do.” He pauses again, his hand finding solace on my hip, his thumb rubbing circles into my skin that is peaking out over the top of his sweatpants that I had stolen to wear. “Third, I love you with all of my being, Y/N. You were the thought that got me through those years in hell, nothing else.” I let out a breath that I didn’t realize I had been holding, utter relief and bliss rushing over me. I sob, every fear and emotion coming out in a rush. He presses a kiss to my forehead, his breath tickling my skin as he encourages me to match his breathing. We are both startled by the loud ring coming from his phone. He is quick to pull it from his pocket, both of us glancing at Sam’s name displayed across the screen. He hurriedly accepts the call and puts it on speaker phone, allowing both of us to hear what he has to say. 
“Sam? Tell me you’ve burned the psycho ghost.” He says, his tone pleading and slightly desperate. “Yep, salted and burned about three minutes ago.” Sam responds and the sense of relief I had felt around that same time, makes complete sense. It wasn’t my confession, it was the relief of the spirit no longer plaguing me. Dean and I both sigh in relief, Dean thanks Sam and tells him to hurry back as he is ready to ditch this “hellish town, in the middle of nowhere.” As Dean ends the call, I let my head fall back onto his arm, staring up at the ceiling. “So,” He starts, breaking the silence that had fallen between us. “Still mean what you said?” He questions, his tone cautious and slightly anxiety ridden. “Yeah. I do. Do you?” I ask. He doesn’t answer, so I turn my head to look at him. He takes this as an opportunity to cup the side of my face and pull me towards him. I let out a sharp exhale through my nose, anticipation building within me. My eyes flutter shut as he closes the distance between us, his lips brushing ever so slightly against my own. He pulls back momentarily, whispering words that I had longed to hear for years. “I love you, all of you.” I close the distance between us once again and press my lips fully against his, desperate and searching. Conveying every fear, hope and want through our shared intimacy.

A short twenty minutes later a knock at the door separates us, Sam had arrived and was waiting outside the entrance to the motel room. The lock and chair keeping him out until Dean moved them out of the way. Sam is quick to enter the room, not noticing the flush to my cheeks and the shit eating grin plastered on Dean’s face. “Everything okay here?” Sam asks, relief washing over him when he sees the two of us in one peace. “Yeah, it got hairy for a moment, but after you burned the bones all was well.” I sigh, giving Sam a tight hug in thanks. A slightly awkward silence fills the room, Sam glancing between the two of us a question forming on his lips, but before he can ask it Dean breaks the silence with a clear of his throat and a question of his own.

“So, spiders Y/N?” He says, a laugh forming in his throat. I roll my eyes and chuck a pillow at him that he catches with ease. 

“Shut up, it’s not my fault that I was being haunted by a stupid spirit.” I mumble and I can feel the blush spreading quickly across my face. He smiles at me, his hand coming up to cup my cheek once again. An action that is very quickly noticed by Sam, his eyes moving back and forth between Dean and myself. “I knew it, you finally admitted that you had feelings for each other, took you long enough.” 

As embarrassing as it was to have our revelations displayed like that in front of Sam, he was right. Dean and I had been tiptoeing around each other for years. Both of us desiring more with the other, but neither of us taking that first step. That was until, I thought I was at deaths door. In that moment, that haunted moment, where I thought I was going to die and lose Dean forever, I took a chance and I will forever be thankful for that moment of bravery in the midst of fear. 

Taglist, message me or comment to be added: @jc-winchester @roseblue373

#deanwinchesterxreader #supernatural dean #dean winchester #deanwinchesterblurb #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fluff #deanwinchesterfluff #sam and dean #dean x you #dean x reader #spn #sam winchester #supernatural fic #supernatural #dean x yn #dean x reader fluff #dean winchester SPN #dean winchester imagine #dean x reader imagine #dean winchester x you #Dean Winchester x Female!Reader #fluff #fluffy #dean fluff #supernatural spn #wanderingwinchesters #dean winchester comfort #dean winchester angst #dean winchester x injured reader

[vivilingriphyn]

Congrats @zaptrap on hitting 1k! :DD

Click for clearer image

Had lots of fun with this especially how I feel like I've finally taken a breath of fresh air after getting burnout from linework and sketching, so thank you for making me think long and hard for a couple of days on how i wanted to do this, the limitations and challenge you've given for this dtiys was headache inducing in a good way that I'd always welcome, since it's helping me improve and have fun. So thank you and congratulations again!

Now let's talk about the illustration itself, the inspiration came from when we were tasked to act, aka theater. From that one thing it set off all alarms in my head that THAT was the one! So I went with that and began thinking of other words, "Dramatic, Dynamic, Tragic, continuation and Symbolisms etc. And with the words now chosen my brain began to visualize exactly what I wanted, and ofc the original art as my base, taking the pose and making it as dramatic as possible while still retaining the original pose but making it feel after it's the continuation ofc inspired by your reply "nah it's not already in him (unless u want it to be lmao)" so took your words and ran with it! XD

Plunging that knife into Cole's heart and ripping out that same knife to create something beautiful.

The Lilies and Spider lilies, I wanted them in illustration as symbolism of sorts, I've never been good with symbolisms but still wanted to try em. (By google definition) Lilies mean life while ofc Spider lilies means death, in the illustration i tried to make the lilies on Cole transition into spider lilies, as well as the petals on blood trail towards Jay's knife while there’s a actually blood dripping down going pass the spider lilies and lastly the petals that are drifting upwards towards the stage light is presumed to be.

Since I've taken theater as inspiration ofc i really wanted make sure that the lighting gave what i wanted it to give, while it also became a challenge for since i realized that lighting and shadows were one of the things i lack so again thank you @zaptrap for making this dtiys because not only was it fun but gave me a milestone that i wanted to achieve which is to improve on understanding with lights and shadows and i have achieved it subsequently thanks to this dtiys!

Now you might've noticed Jay's design. It's actually because when waiting for the references I already started doing the illustration. Since i didn't wanna burn out my overload of motivation with doing nothing.

And this is the illustration 3hrs in. As you can see Jay would've looked completely different and wouldn't have any no parts of his face showing because I thought that literally half of his face was metal xD the thing on his chest would've been different, no metal parts going down his abdomen, no belt, and the boots. So for his design here i did change some aspects of it like the chest part and a lil bit on the boots and ofc giving Jay's face back, but kept some of what i originally drew which is not adding the metal parts on the abdomen and keeping the ribbon belt and mixed the boot with some parts of Jay's shoes in the references. I kept these because i thought it add to the compassion and overall flow of the piece especially the ribbon belt (I don't know what they're already called but i need something to differentiate them 😭) because without it it feels to much empty space that the drifting petals wouldn't be able to fill in as I wanted it to.

Anywho again congratulations @zaptrap ! I really REALLY had fun with this and I hope this piece makes you feel rewarded for reaching the milestone of 1k because you deserve em mate!

#jay #jay walker #ninjago #digital art #art #lego ninjago #ninjago jay #cole #cole brookstone #bruise #blood #spider lilies #lilies #illustration #zaptrap dtiys

[cleolinda]

(For our purposes, listen to it without the visuals first.)

I wasn't going to keep posting about Unreal Unearth, but something happened yesterday.

It's been five months since I first heard this song, and I'm still astonished by it. You know the tiktok skit about the Star Wars wedding music, and the guy is grooving along until the Imperial Death March filters in, and then he's kind of alarmed, like, wha—? And then he realizes it slaps anyway and he keeps dancing? That is "Eat Your Young."

It's the morning of March 17th. The EP with the first three singles from the new album has dropped. I've got my phone blasting the song on the bathroom counter, I don't understand half what the man is saying nor did I expect to, I'm cheerfully mumbling along in the shower, grooving along,

wait they did what for a war drum

Get some Pull up the ladder when the flood comes Throw enough rope until the legs have swung Seven new ways that you can eat your young Come and get some Skinning the children for a war drum Putting food on the table selling bombs and guns It's quicker and easier to eat your young

What the fuck, this song goes so hard. That's the chorus. The conceit of the whole album is that it loosely follows Dante's Inferno, so this is the third circle of hell, gluttony. Hozier himself says that he wasn't specifically thinking of Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal—

“I don’t know how intentional the reference to Jonathan Swift was in this. That essay [Swift’s 1729 satirical essay A Modest Proposal in which he suggests the Irish poor sell their children as food] is such a cultural landmark that it’s just hanging in the air. I was more reflecting on what I felt now in this spirit of the times of perpetual short-term gain and a long-term blindness. The increasing levels of precarious living, poverty, job insecurity, rental crisis, property crisis, climate crisis, and a generation that’s inheriting all of that and one generation that’s enjoyed the spoils of it. The lyrics are direct, but the voice is playful. There’s this unreliable narrator who relishes in this thing which was fun to write.” [Apple Music album notes]

—and I believe him. The song's not a suggestion, a proposal; it's an invitation to atrocity in progress. I also believe he probably wasn't thinking of Greta Thunberg's iconic speech at the UN Climate Action Summit, not specifically, but that's what I hear in the song, like the flip side of a coin:

You have stolen my dreams and my childhood with your empty words. And yet I'm one of the lucky ones. People are suffering. People are dying. Entire ecosystems are collapsing. We are in the beginning of a mass extinction, and all you can talk about is money and fairy tales of eternal economic growth. How dare you! [...] You say you hear us and that you understand the urgency. But no matter how sad and angry I am, I do not want to believe that. Because if you really understood the situation and still kept on failing to act, then you would be evil.

I feel like on some level, even coincidentally, "Eat Your Young" is the answer to the question, what would you sound like if you were that evil? Who would you be? I can think of a dozen possibilities just off the top of my head or looking around my blog, from something as petty as studio executives mangling trees to deprive striking workers of shade (while hoping they lose their homes), all the way up to the US school-to-prison pipeline. The National Rifle Association keeps politicians in its pocket while the US has more mass shootings than days in a year, Nestlé fucks shit up around the world as a way of life, even ChatGPT sucks up water while threatening jobs—and for what? And yet, I promise you most of these things weren't the inspiration for an Irishman’s song—some of them hadn't even happened yet. There's just that much fresh You Would Be Evil to go around. I am certain that Hozier wrote the song partly about (as one article puts it) "Ireland's housing crisis: Millennials, a generation sacrificed," given that time back in the day when he helped occupy a building—a housing crisis happening in multiple countries. There's so much of the world I'm not touching on. I can stuff a paragraph with links and it's utterly inadequate.

I haven't even mentioned war.

There's an overwhelming sense this decade of the future being fed into a meat grinder. That sense is in this song. What would it sound like to be in the head of someone who didn't give a shit about anything but profit? Well, it might sound like this.

And if you haven't heard it, well—I'm going to sound absolutely out of my mind after saying all that, but "Eat Your Young" has a beat and you can dance to it. It's sexy. And I'm certain that's on purpose. You get seduced into the sound of it, as if by something demonic, something that enjoys sucking down the future and is not going to stop. And the sheer fucking catchiness of the song keeps you listening to it—thinking about it—when maybe you push away the dry headlines we get everyday. If you let this song stay in your head, it becomes a lens. Five months later, I still think about it when I read the news. Maui was on fire and tourists stayed. Within days, the prospect of developers swooping in to buy up land reared its head. If there's something still to take, there is ground to break, whatever's still to come. Get some.

I was born in 1978 —I'm late Gen X. In my forties, I'm young enough to worry about the future still; I’m neither so rich that I can just plan to retire to Mars, nor so old that I can know I'll be safely gone before the world might go up in flames. But I'm also not my nephew, whose school year just started back up, or the neighborhood kids who race him home down the sidewalk in the afternoons. Yesterday, he had his very first mass-shooter lockdown drill. He’s six.

I think music can put the feeling back into numb fingers, and I think that's why "Eat Your Young" works so well—Hozier calls the song fun and playful, and I think you have to have that, something you can live with rather than just switch off for your own mental survival. We need music to feed spirit at protests; we need something to keep our feet moving. Don’t give up, don't close your eyes and slip away. Those kids, they have dreams we could try to steal back for them.

Since I mentioned Maui:

Why Hawaiian sovereignty has undeniable context for the Maui fires

The Climate Crisis and Colonialism Destroyed My Maui Home. Where We Must Go From Here

How You Can Donate and Help Support Maui Communities Right Now

The Maui Strong Fund

#music #music discussion #hozier #long post #eat your young #Spotify

[zoeykallus]

A bit of a specific ask: the f! Jedi General assigned to squad 99 survived because of them and is still mourning weeks later. But she keeps it to herself because the clones couldn't possibly understand how her connection to the Jedi through the force just heightens the grief. She’s been frustrated and lashing out (sensory overload?) and Hunter finally tries to soothe his General that he’s always held a flame for. she didn’t realize it but Hunter gets it. The overload when sensory input is just too much. Maybe starting as fluff then progressing to more passionate/masochism as she releases the anger? I can just imagine pulling in that delicious hair of his and hearing him talk about how he can smell her

😳

Uhm, let me try 😅

Wasn't sure how far I should go, so I was kinda careful and just hinted some things (mostly).

Hunter x Jedi Fem! Reader One-shot - Perceptions And Senses

Warnings: Strongly Suggestive/Fluff/Sensory Play (Is that a thing?)/ 18+

_________

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

_________

You are still here, days after Order 66 reached its climax. The loss still sits deep in your bones, like an echo the death cries of so many, like one, resound muffled within you. Far away, yet buried so deep inside you. You have become very silent, more silent than the boys of CF 99 are used to from you. But they let you grieve in peace, they can imagine that you are suffering, even if they can hardly grasp the extent of it. They can't empathize with how you feel, how the Force acts as an amplifier of all this death, this grief. You lose your patience more quickly, sometimes you get frustrated, you react gruffly to your surroundings, even if you regret it shortly after. No one blames you. But Hunter seeks your closeness more often, quietly, gently, unobtrusively. You enjoy his closeness, he's like a calm pole, something to orient yourself to when the spiral of painful echoes pulls you along again. You sit under a tree not far from the Marauder, but out of its sight. You try to organize your thoughts, to take a breath, maybe to meditate, but your thoughts are so jumbled, so painful, they just won't calm down.

"Are you okay?" You look up startled, you were so focused on yourself that you didn't even notice Hunter. "Sure," you say quietly. Hunter looks at you scrutinizingly and says, "Why don't you tell me the truth?" You frown critically and are about to react angrily, but you see his gentle expression and restrain yourself. He sits down with you and says calmly, "General Skywalker once told me that the Force can be overwhelming, especially when there are many negative things happening around you. The Force amplifies perception, and something like sensory overload can happen as a result." You blink, then sigh, anticipating what Hunter is getting at. "Put simply, I suppose that may be partially true," you say quietly. He nods and explains, "Through my senses, I have that sometimes, too. Depending on where we are traveling, unpleasant smells, sounds, vibrations overlap. It can throw a guy off balance quite a bit." "You perceive almost everything, don't you?" you ask, curious.

"Yeah, pretty much. I can smell hormones, fear, body odors, just about anything. Metallic noises can be hell, and the vibrations in big cities sometimes give me a violent headache. Some days several of these things overlap at once. It can get on my nerves." You look at him and say quietly, "The Force is my friend, but sometimes my torturer. When Order 66 was executed, so many Jedi died, I felt them all, heard their echoes, felt them just disappear. I still feel and hear the echoes sometimes, coupled with this feeling of emptiness, of loss." He gently reaches for your hand and says, "I'm no expert, but maybe you need an outlet, something to blow off steam, empty your head" "I don't know if it's that easy," you say doubtfully. "I didn't say it was easy." You sigh, then ask curiously, "You can smell me too can't you?" "Yes, of course," Hunter says with a small smirk. "What do I smell like when I retreat, like today?" you want to know.

"Hmm," Hunter thinks for a moment and says, "It's a sour smell, slightly bitter, something that blends into your actual smell, which is actually much more pleasant" "Oh," you say quietly, "So you like my smell?" "Usually yes" His voice has taken on that tone again, low, deep, slightly smoky. It tingles under your skin and you feel warm. You look at him and he smiles again. "I can smell when you're taken with me too....." Your eyes grow wide for a moment. "Taken?" "Aroused." Your mouth pops open, but no words pass your lips for the first moment. He continues to speak with that one pitch, "When I speak in that voice, your body immediately responds" You blink and say, "So you're trying to manipulate me right now?" He shrugs gently and says, "A little bit maybe, I want to make you feel better." You feel a little annoyance, but also more of that strange warmth, you feel strong impulses that you can't place, and you reach out of one and grab his hair. Hunter tears open his eyes in startlement, but he doesn't fight back. Suddenly, he throws himself forward, your hand still in his long, dark hair.

Your heart is racing wildly, it's so warm, it's tingling, it feels surprisingly good, whatever this is. His face in the hollow between your shoulder and neck, he takes a deep breath and murmurs, "rage, arousal." It happens automatically, your thighs wrap around his hips and he presses even closer to your body, you feel the hard codpiece clearly between your legs. The heat concentrates on the triangle between your thighs, you feel the tingling as your muscles tense and automatically your body seeks even more contact with him. You whisper to him, "Can you make me forget, if only for a moment?" Hunter growls softly, close to your neck, "I think I can, but are you sure that's what you want?" "Yes, I'm sure." His hands are so fast under the fabric of your clothes that you almost feel dizzy. His touches are demanding, yet gentle. Hunter seems to know exactly what he's doing.

His fingers glide over your skin, each touch leaving a small, tingling firework. You open your mind, feel him very clearly, the desire, the lust he feels, the affection towards you. It feels so intense to perceive him in this way, his presence, his sensation spreads like balm over every dark corner of your mind. You concentrate fully on him, his touch, his perceptions and let yourself fall.

"Hunter?" "Yes, love?" "These moments when I need your distraction may well happen more often," you hint.

Hunter gently bites your neck, sending a shiver through your body before saying, "That's okay, I'm ready for you anytime"

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

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@bandnerdlevel43

#star wars #tbb #the bad batch #clone force 99 #sw tbb #hunter #hunter x reader #hunter x you #bad batch #clone trooper hunter #bad batch hunter #hunter bad batch #hunter the bad batch #sergeant hunter x reader #sergeant hunter x you #tbb hunter #tbb hunter x reader #the bad batch hunter #sergeant hunter #hunter tbb #suggestive #suggestive Hunter

[eatingfireflies]

I want to talk about this thing

And I have a proposal:

The name of Dr Ratio's warp event is connected to this and, incidentally, Aventurine

Disclaimer: 1) I'm not normal or rational about Dr Ratio. 2) The conclusion is supported only by the English translation as far as I know. 3) Maybe the conclusion is a bit of a leap but I'm serious about everything else.

Let's go!

The conversation Aventurine and Acheron had towards the end is probably up there with End of Evangelion for me in terms of comforting. There's something comforting about Acheron's Nihility because there's still a drop of colour in there and she thinks it's enough. It's the kind of emptiness that accepts anything and don't we all need a little black hole to chuck all our worries into? 🥲

Before the 'grand finale', Aventurine says that sleep is a rehearsal of death. After his death, Acheron agrees and adds that we sleep in order to prepare for the real thing.

And then Aventurine asks her a question:

And Acheron's answer is: this isn't true and Aventurine knows this himself. We don't get born to die. There's no reason for being born, just like there is no meaning in life.

(There's only chance. In stories, things happen for a reason but life isn't story-shaped.)

So: there is no meaning in life. But the way we live our lives gives meaning to our deaths.

Then she tells him to look at his pocket because his friend has already given him the answer.

And I was like 'Finally !! I've been waiting for this reveal!' because what can be said at this moment that could help Aventurine?

There are 2 phases in his plan:

1) Prove that death is possible in the dreamland. Since all the visitors in Penacony are protected by Harmony, this is pretty hard to do but not impossible. We know other people have done it before. Aventurine uses Acheron the emanator of Nihility to cut through the Harmony protection and finish him off.

And Aventurine wins his wager! But the plan doesn’t end there.

2) Move forward to the Real Penacony somehow and investigate the truth about the Watchmaker. And then figure out how to come back. Which honestly sounds like a tall order, but what else can Aventurine do?

Well, he can stop at phase 1.

Acheron says that the conclusion of phase 1 is a win-win situation for the IPC, which is true. Aventurine's death will give the IPC a reason to investigate Penacony and the Family. We know Jade and the others aren't even allowed to go into the dreamscape, but with the death of the IPC envoy, they'll have the right to make some demands from the Family.

If Aventurine stops here, he still would have won.

We know from his conversation with his future self that he's tired and ready to stop. He wants to come home and be with his family.

Aventurine is pretty much a mess: he's a child blessed by Gaiathra Triclops, which gives him godly luck. This luck has prevented him from dying countless times before (even the times when he was actually fine with it). He wants to die but also he's terrified of... dying?

Truly embodying the 'Why is it so hard to die, so impossible to live?'* vibe.

(*From Tanith Lee's The Secret Books of Paradys 1, if you're interested)

Or maybe more accurately, he's terrified of losing everything just like he did in Sigonia. You can look at it in 2 ways: without Mama Fenge's blessing, Kakavasha would have died with the rest of the Avgin. Or Kakavasha's luck came at the expense of literally everything he holds dear.

With Acheron's help, he has finally achieved the death his own luck has been protecting him from. So why should he move forward?

Well, let's see what Acheron meant when she said Aventurine's friend has the answer.

And I... have no idea.

The underlying message here is easy enough to understand: Acheron has already answered Aventurine's question. He can move forward and keep living because that's what will give his eventual death more meaning. But hearing this from Acheron is a bit of a cold comfort: she accepts everything and also views everything impartially.

Ratio's note is a reminder to Aventurine that someone in the waking world is personally invested in Aventurine's well-being. Not because of what Aventurine can do for the IPC (as a consultant, I assume Ratio gets paid whether Aventurine succeeds or not, but also Aventurine has already succeeded with Phase 1).

And not because Ratio gets anything out of it... well, the Stellaron files maybe? But he already has that. Or whatever it is he went to Penacony for, because the two of them are being cagey about it.

Whatever it is, Ratio has already gotten what he wanted. This note is an extra then, something that he gave Aventurine because he wanted to.

I'll come back to what I think he meant, but I need to talk about the Jp translation (sorry I know I should check the original Cn instead but I don't know Cn at all 😭 it's hard enough for me to catch the nuance in Jp let alone a language I can't parse at all), because the word used is different and this is why I'm unsure.

Post by a Jp user about Ratio's note. I can't post a screencap because there's no more space 🥹 But here's the text:

「処方箋」

夢の中で不可能なのは「死」ぬことではなく、「熟睡」することだ。 生きろ。幸運を祈る。

In this note, Ratio uses 熟睡 (jukusui), which means deep sleep. This is deep uninterrupted sleep, the kind that you wake up from feeling refreshed. Or the kind that you have when you take sleep meds. Or the kind that you have when you're contented with your life and not burdened with ambition or anxieties or curiosity.

I don't know.

We know that it's possible to sleep in the dreamscape because Ratio wakes Aventurine up in the beginning of the quest. At the very least, he seemed to be dreaming so I assume he was asleep? And they seem to be in the dreamscape because there's an origami bird tail behind him... except Dr Blues also appears in reality so maybe we can't rule anything out just yet.

I'm not 100% sure what Ratio means about 熟睡. But what about 'Dormancy'?

This is easier. The disclaimer here is I'm not a big fan of the English translation in general (especially the way Dr Ratio was translated in English) but I'll let myself have this.

Dormancy is (thank you wiki) a period in an organism's life cycle when growth, development, and (in animals) physical activity are temporarily stopped. It's also connected to 'deep sleep'. Hey, we're getting somewhere!

Basically, hibernation. Ratio seems to be confirming what we already know: the dream is falling apart because everything in the universe will succumb to Nihility in the end. Maybe the dream was created to preserve a memory (just like how the IPC was preserving Chadwick's memory in Penacony), but the dream is also starting to crumble.

Maybe this isn't the most comforting thing to tell Aventurine, but it does confirm what he probably already suspected (about the truth behind Penacony) and it also tells him that change is constant. Moving forward means he could potentially get out of a situation he doesn't like.

And he does move forward. He tells his past self that there will come a time in the future when he'll come home to his family, but not now. For now he can keep changing and making his own meaning.

Dr Ratio's warp banner is called Panta rhei. 'Everything flows', which says that things are always in a state of flux (change). For example, you can't step into the same river twice because the water is moving and is constantly getting replaced (thanks again, wiki). This is the same about humans: we are always changing both physically and mentally. We both are and are not (wiki again).

Doesn’t it sound like what he said in his doctor's prescription?

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail spoilers #dr ratio #hsr aventurine #penacony #d metas #cw death and nihilism

[darkbluekies]

What would your OC’s do if their s/o cheated on them

Warnings: cutting, carving name into skin, death, isolation, very toxic, unhealthy relationships, beheading, degradation

Silas:

Basement. Immediately. You've betrayed his trust and taken his rare love for granted. He'll feel stupid and want you to realize your mistake. He'll also not hesitate in getting rid of the person who managed to steal you away from him in the worst ways possible. From now on, you'll never see anyone else. At all.

"Now, Y/N. Don't you dare look away from me. You better get used to seeing my face from now on. It'll be the only living thing I'll allow you to see. You'll stay down here until you've learned your righteous place. I own you, I love you. And I'll make sure you understand that."

Dr Kry:

Since you're not a couple, you can't technically cheat on him. But he won't care. You're his and people should know that. Dr Kry can never blame you for stuff, you're not well! How can he put the blame on someone who doesn't even know what's best for themselves? The person he saw you kiss will be wiped off the earth one way or another and you'll get even more drugs and medication to keep you bed bound.

"If I'm mad? Why, of course I am. Why did you kiss that person? What do they have that I don't? I literally care for you 24/7! No one else even cares about you as much as I do. And this is how you repay me? Y/N, please. You don't understand how much this hurts me and I don't blame you for that. You're just naive. That's why I have to make sure you don't leave your bed. We can't let this happen again."

King Edmund:

Edmund is extremely hypocritical. If he wanted to, he could choose anyone to be with for the night, but he never does that because he loves you. You don't have that choice however and when you take that thing for granted to piss him off, all hell will break loose. People will be executed, he'll start war, he'll separate families and burn down cities.

"See what you made me do! Why do you let other people suffer thanks to you, Y/N? All you needed to do was to obey me. You promised to be loyal in our wedding vowels. Traitor. I'll make sure you never dare to cheat on me again. From now on, every person you glance at will get beheaded with a butter knife, got it?"

Jerry:

Her friends will have alerted her and she'll catch you right in the act. The moment the door swings open, Jerry will start to laugh. She doesn't know if it's out of shock or the fact that she now can punish you. Before you have the time to "explain", she'll have shot the other person dead and made her way over to you.

"My stupid, silly little bitch. You're really dumb, aren't you? Were you trying to make me jealous? Well, I don't get jealous, baby. I get territorial. And you're my property. I'm going to carve my name into every inch of your skin and force you to look at it every fucking day. Sooner or later that empty head of yours will get it."

Hedwig:

You can't keep anything secret from Hedwig. She knows everything. When you come over to her house one day she tells you that she has something for you in a tone that frightens you. Down in the basement, your fling is tied to a chair, gagged with a handkerchief and bruised all over. Hedwig’s sobs will bring you back to reality.

"You think I didn't know?! How could you, Y/N? I worship the ground you walk on. Isn't that enough for you? What do you want me to do? How could you do this to me? I could give you everything you ever wanted. This is not fair. But don't worry. We're not breaking up. I'm giving you another chance. I'm sure we can repair our relationship. I love you so much, honey. If you do this again, I'll have no other choice but to keep you locked in my room. If you don't want that, you better keep all of your attention on me."

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere drabbles #yandere x you #yandere imagines #yandere mafia #yandere oc x you #yandere king #yandere doctor #yandere female #yandere thoughts #yandere headcanon

[nocturni3]

Miguel Ohara x male reader: canon Tragedy

CHARACTER DEATH, I can understand if y’all don’t wanna read if you don’t think this is something you can’t handle mentally DNI. Or read when I do Angst and death I don’t hide anything it’ll hit deep and twist your heart.

(TW: possibly incorrect Spanish, toxic mother, loving brother in law, reader death, canon event, blood, death, venom 2099, mourning, mental break, feral Miguel, death of child, kron stone death, venom death, Revenge, pain)

Two months passed before the two newlyweds knew it! They were officially married and now waiting for their baby girl Gabriella to be ready to bring home with them. For the two months after their wedding M/n and Miguel were working non-stop; be it with Alchemax workloads, or setting up their daughters room for her arrival.

A room the newly weds spent all their time painting, buying all the needed equipment, toys, crib, lights, play pin. Both of them never had in their childhoods; a happy healthy home; that was their plan to give their daughter everything they never had.

M/n still couldn’t believe it, as if it was out of a movie he stood in the doorway of Gabriella’s room staring at the cream pink walls hang pictures of animals, her play bin filled with stuffed animals as well nearly flooding onto the floor many of those animals being rabbits of different sizes and colors. A holo projection hung clouds floating and shifting across the ceiling.

Soft blanket folded in the crib waiting to be wrapped around their beautiful daughter. M/n smiled at the room knowing this once empty, hollow room would soon have a child in it to breathe life on its walls.

Arms wrapped themselves around his middle pulling his back against a muscular chest. The hands that wrapped around his waist displayed a ring that M/n rubbed his thumb across smiling, turning his head to look into the eyes of his husband.

Miguel O'hara, who’s eyes bore bugs under them of the countless nights of working late as the new CEO of Alchmax. Even still a smile stretched across Miguel’s lips before pressing a kiss against a M/n’s temple.

“Think we got her enough toys? Maybe we should get her-“

M/n gave a soft chuckle rubbing Miguel’s head as it leaned on top of his own shoulder.

“I think this kids gonna be spoiled if we keep buying her toy after toy before she gets here.”

Miguel’s arms tightened around M/n pulling in closer, sighing from his husband being so close to his heart.

“Oh trust me love she’s already spoiled. I think we can handle spoiling her a bit more”

“Hmm, yeah you’re right…maybe when Gabe and me are out grabbing lunch I’ll grab a few more things for our baby”

“Make sure Gabe doesn’t try to buy her dumb”

“Miggy! Gabriel O'hara trying to buy our daughter something ridiculous?! We both know your brother but I’ll try to convince him to keep the terrible jokes at a mild”

Miguel chuckled, shaking his head into your neck breathing in his scent, his cologne. Taking in all of m/n as he held his other half’s body close. Migue wished he could go with him on this lunch like they both used to do but as the CEO his time was so limited to quick snacks and breaks before being on calls for a good chunk of the day.

But he knew m/n needed to get out of the house, check on Gabe after he and his girlfriend fought. To get his mind off of the stress of their own soon to be born child. After all, Gabe had spent far too much time ensuring Discord stayed locked away in cyberspace; he needed a break away from downtown even.

M/n smiled before turning around in Miguel’s arms pressing his hands against Miguel’s chest. Smiling up to his tired husband;

“And maybe after shopping I’ll check on our little girl get some more photos before she’s born, I could video call you get you to go on a well needed break away from those other department dicks”

Leaning down Miguel captured soft lips with his own, a kiss both performed so many times, yet it was a dance that still left Miguel’s lips and fangs buzzing after you lips left his. Patting his chest M/n pulled away running his hand across Miguel’s chest as he walked past him to gather his holo watch and jacket.

Miguel fallowed him leaning against the kitchen wall staring at his gorgeous husband he stuck by him for a decade of dating. A year of supporting Miguel becoming spiderman, finding out of his identity. Livening Miguel through all the ups and downs of the months of them struggling to become parents and now they were married.

Living in their house, a peaceful house away from the stresses and anxiety of the city. Miguel stared at his husband who soon noticed looking over his shoulder, making his h/l h/c get in his face as he smiled at Miguel who watched with his own smile watching as e/c eyes shined.

“Like what you see hot stuff?”

“Oh, ya conoces el amor, there’s no point in boosting that ego of yours farther”

“Damn and here I thought I needed an ego boost, shock throw the plan away then”

Miguel shook his head, pushing off the counter before pulling M/n close to him once more taking both hands in his; as though the two were going to start to dance like they had at their wedding as shown with countless photos of the twos wedding and years of dating hung all over their home.

Leaning forward Miguel pressed his forehead against M/ns, leaving a small peck against the soft lips he loved with all his heart.

“Knowing you, you'll make another plan for that ego, be safe okay, holo call me after you and Gabe’s lunch alright, love you”

M/n smiled even more, holding the side of Miguel’s tired cheek, nudging his nose against his worried husband.

“I will handsome, if you promise you will take a well needed nap; Mr. CEO needs to sleep too you know don’t make me have LYLA shut down the servers just for you to sleep”

“Can’t have that”

“Nope, those servers are a pain to turn back on”

“Than you got yourself a deal”

“Good, Now ilove you and I’ll call you after me and Gabe are done eating and shopping”

Miguel smirked watching as M/n called up Gabriel who answered in a tired, stressed voice on the other end.

“Yo! Bro are ya done yet! That brunch place is gonna be pact by the time we get ther-“

“He’s ready Gabe, you keep him safe yeah?”

M/n jokingly elbowed Miguel smiling at him before turning to Gabriel who rolled his eyes in the holo call.

“Yes Mig I’ll keep your husband safe and sound; we both know just how dangerous a cafe can be-“

“Okay kids stop fighting, I’m coming out now Gabe!”

Gabriel nodded before hanging up the hollo call.leaving Miguel and M/n once again alone. Turning to Miguel M/n placed a quick kiss on Miguel’s lips mumbleing against them as he wished him an easy work day before pulling back to head to the door.

“Lyla! Make sure Miguel gets sleep yeah!”

Lyla smiled as she appeared in front of M/n smiling as she winked at his giving him a thumbs up.

“You got it boss”

Miguel gave a soft sigh when the door closed to their house; before turning to the kitchen counter that held his now cold coffee. Another long day of work.

~~~~~

M/n laughed at Gabes joke on members of his girlfriend's rebel groups antics. Neely spitting out his coffee at his husband's brother.

“There’s no shockeing way he did that!”

Gabe laughed, his goggles nearly falling on his eyes as his head shook.

“I wish I was lying but the guy is a moron when it comes to tech hacking and don’t get me started…”

Humming M/n looked out the window zoning out to look at the city skyline, watching the hover cars fly through the sky In between buildings and holo board’s advertising companies with the hero’s of old. M/ns mind moved to Miguel’s tired eyes the way his face saved a bit from stress of work. His clothes-

“Bro you good?”

“Huh! Oh shock sorry Gabe I was just-“

“Thinking of Miguel?”

M/ns hands held the cup of coffee taking a small sip, taking in all the emotions that flowed in his heart. Even though the cafe was a peaceful atmosphere it didn’t quell m/ns worrying heart.

“Yeah…”

“Trouble in paradise?”

M/ns eyes widened as his waved his left hand that held his wedding band, that bounced the suns rays off the red diamond.

“What oh no, no no! Nothing like that at all, we’re great, better than ever it’s just…Gabe you’ve seen Miguel he’s working so hard all the time-“

“I thought you said he stopped being spide- I mean”

“Spiderman”

“Wait you know!”

M/n laughed covering his mouth as he sat the hot cup of coffee down on the table. Seeing Gabes shocked face of horror.

“I’ve known for a while…and yeah he’s stopped or slowed down a lot more due to him taking up the CEO position at Alchemax but that’s the issue.”

“Him being CEO or quitting his other gig?”

Sighing M/n looked down at the shopping bags that sat next to his and Gabe's table inside sat another small bean stuffed bunny, an old looking toy but the novelty of it drew him in. Holding the small bunny in his hands M/n played with the soft white ears, moving the big floppy ears from its face.

“Neither, it’s him working himself to exhaustion that has me worried to death. Gabriella is coming home next month and it worries me he isn’t getting the sleep we both need now before we bring a newborn home.”

“M/n-“

And I just can’t put more stress on him-“

A hand grabbed the white rabbit from M/n anxious hands; holding the body in front of his face, speaking in a high pitch voice that heard other patrons and their kids staring; some chuckling before going back to their own conversation.

“M/n O’Hara you listen here, when you get home you make Miggy go to bed, you tell him he needs to chill out on being the big CEO of Alchedick. You hear me Mr. O’Hara”

M/n laughed his hand covering his mouth as he laughed as Gabe smiled at his brother in law seeing M/n Ohara relax.

“Thanks Gabe, I know you know this but your the best brother in law I could’ve asked for and uncle for Gabriella to have”

“I’m the only one of those two things!-“

Gabriel’s watch started ringing loudly, Gabe looked down at the caller ID instantly answering; m/n looked away giving Gabe some privacy as he stared at the bustling and busy. Slipping the rest of his own coffee before Gabe piped in his expression told M/n all he needed to know;

“Shit, hey man I gotta-“

M/n smiled holding up a hand at Gabriel.

“Gabe go on I’ll catch a taxi to the clinic; go take care of your girlfriend okay, when you can call Miguel. You may not know this but every time you call Miguel is happy to talk to his baby brother you know.”

Gabriel looked down at his coffee tapping his watch on the tipping pad. Nodding sadly before placing his goggles around the rabbits neck smiling at M/n as he pushed the bunny back in his hands.

“Give those to little Gabriella yeah? if she’s anything like Miguel and me you’ll have your hands full with fights”

Taking the rabbit in his hands M/n smiled at Gabe, before placing the small stuffed animal with the dirty goggles around its neck back in the back at his feet.

“Oh I have no doubt, take care of yourself Gabe”

“You too my favorite brother in law”

Laughing M/n lightly punched Gabes arm.

“I’m your only brother in law you moron”

Gave laughed weakly before waving bye to M/n who smiled at his now empty cup of coffee, looking back out to the skyline taking in the breathtaking view of it all.

“What a beautiful day.”

~~~~

Keeping her promise Lyla had Miguel take a well needed nap that wasn’t at the very desk he did all his work, but in his and M/n’s bed room. Even going as far as to have one of his serving drones spray M/ns cologne all over their bed just to get Miguel to fall asleep faster.

Lyla loved the couple, as close as any friend would and it broke her AI software to see Miguel work himself every hour of everyday while M/n worried in silence. Only to comfort Miguel everyday after work when the two got a rare moment of peace. Only for Miguel’s scectarly; his own mother to call him to yet another meeting.

It had gotten so bad that Lyla would answer the phone calls from his mother before his holo watch even notified Miguel and told her that Miguel was busy and to move the meetings for the next day or week. This bought Miguel some time to catch some rest like this moment.

Lyla watched as Miguel instantly passed out under the soft covers pulling some of the covers to his face to smell his husband's cologne even more as he slept. Lyla smiled, hovering her hand over Miguel’s hair before vanishing to the living room, staring at the many photographs that hung on the walls of the modern home, photos of the couples time during high school prom night, the photos of their graduation at Alchemax School for Gifted Youngsters.

Next we’re photos of them in their apartment, vacations to parts of Mexico and the world. Photos of their rings on either of their hands and last their wedding. Both wearing white suits as they kissed in front of a crowd of friends and Miguel’s family.

Lyla's smile wore away as yet another processing call from Miguel’s mother came in. Sighing dramatically, Lyla made a 21st century phone call as she answered, hearing the older woman's voice on the other end of the line.

“Miguel sweetly you have a meeting-“

“Ima stop you right there, one Miguel sweetly is

sleeping after pulling a 24 hour shift of none stop meetings, stress and isolation thanks to your constant fear migrating and project-“

“What did you say! Lyla you put Miguel on this call right now-“

“No, you listen here you are cozying up to Miguel after years of hating him for your own selfish sake just to work your way in having him fear failing his new family like that abusive bastard had. So I won’t put Miguel on the call cause unlike you! me and M/n have eyes and heart to see that Miguel needs a long needed break away from work and away from you you old washed up hag!”

“You good for nothing AI you listen here you bit-“

Lyla had the phone vanish and along with it all her anger before she made her way to the couple’s room peering inside to see Miguel hugging m/n’s pillow tightly the nanotech in the fibers emitted a light glow in the pitch black room. a smiling Lyla left once more seeing Miguel’s face relaxed, at peace as he slept.

She only hoped when M/n called Miguel would take some time away from the stresses of work and spent it gushing over little Gabriella and M/n who would probably continuously feed Miguel praises and love.

~~~~~~

Ring

Ring

Ring

“¿eh? Miguel Ohara hablando”

The sound of Miguel’s tired voice brought a smile and chuckle from M/n's lips as he placed his hand on top of the glass set face that protected Gabriella from the world outside.

“I sure hope so, what do I have to do to set an appointment for my husband?”

“M-m/n! Ow shock! Sorry I was-“

“Sleeping? Good, did you have a good long rest hun?”

Faintly hearing Miguel on the other line humming before a groan escaped his husbands lips M/n knew Miguel had gotten the sleep he needed most.laughing M/n turned on his holo watches camera popping a miniature view of a still sleepy miguel who still lauded in their bed. His deep brown locks were a mess of tousled bed hair, mixed with his tired smiled that showed off his fangs as he spoke:

“Best rest I’ve had cariño thanks to Lyla holding off my mother and her constant meetings and a bit of your cologne”

“My cologne?l

“Sí, it help me sleep”

Chuckling M/n turns fully to watch his old hand rubbing the glass that held their daughter; as though this simple act helped her feel safe.

“Then I guess I should start stockpiling some more huh?”

“Haha I think you’ll be fine you already got enough of that stuff to last a year”

His cheeks reddening M/n shook his head before pointing an accusing finger at Miguel. Both playing along with the others' antics and sarcasm. Acting more like children than 27 year old newlyweds.

“Hey careful there husband or you’ll find yourself-“

“On the couch?”

“Oh shush!”

Miguel’s tired voice gave way to a chest lightening laugh that was soon joined by M/n. Both men looked at the other with such love it was almost hard for either of them to describe. Moments passed with M/n and Migue talking to their daughter who was floating in the water like liquid. Both parents smiling love not at their daughter seeing just how much she looked like Miguel and both taking guesses on what she’ll be like.

“Nah I think she’ll for sure be a daddy’s girl”

“Amor were both her parents”

M/ns smile widened even in hologram form Miguel stared at his husbands smile as though it was the sun itself.

“Duh that’s to the point! No competitions for her favorite parent reward”

“I just hope I can’t catch a break from work to see her enough-“

“And you will; miggy I love you and Gabriella loves you too. The company won’t crumble to dust if your gone to be with your family.”

Miguel knew what M/n was saying was the truth; he knew he was overworking himself, wasting time that could be used to be with his husband at the clinic with m/n instead of holo calls.

Nodding Miguel got up from the comforting bed making his way to the office computer that he wasted so much time behind ensuring a company he originally hated after what his “dad” did to him. After what they did to the people of Nueva York. Glancing to the spiderman suit that still sat behind a glass case then back to the countless emails from investors, department heads, and competitors trying to buy the company.

“Lyla send out a department wide email informing them I’m going on maternity leave for a year to support my family and direct all questions and answers to the new AI secretary that will soon be replacing secretary Ohara.”

Lyla smiled, doing a quick salute before proceeding to write and send email, while ordering the highest tech of a secretary encrypting it with all of Miguel’s plans, goals and Alchemaxs new goals. While on the side writing the termination paperwork for one Conchata O'Hara.

Turning back to the holo call of a shocked M/n who’s eyes where now filling with tears of happiness at Miguel’s selfless actions.

“Y-you really did it?”

“Por ti hago lo que sea, mi amor.”

Wiping away his tears M/n smiled looking at the hologram of his husband who looked as disheveled as always when he woke up from a long needed rest.

“You better get over here so I can kiss you then-“

The door to the clinic opened, reviewing a man M/n had never seen in the clinic before. Yet the older looking man wore a lab coat, his long greasy looking white hair cascaded over his face as he spoke his crooked teeth were as apparent as the sewer smell radiating off of him.

“You’re Mr.Ohara right?”

“Mmh, that’s correct M/n Ohara; is there something wrong! My husbands right here,please tell us is there something wrong with our little Gabriella?!”

Miguel’s heart was pounding as m/n gently placed the watch down so he could fully see this doctor; Miguel had a feeling he knew this man…that he’s seen the man somewhere before?

Pushing those thoughts down to focus on his fear for what the doctor would say to the couple.what would they have to do to keep Gabriella safe. Miguel could only process a split second of the “doctors” words as he walked over to M/n and Gabriella, his hands pressing against the glass staring at the couples daughter.

“Yes but it’s best if we talk with you first m/n, shouldn’t take that long, and your husband can stay in here keep an eye on little Gabriella”

M/n shuffled uncomfortably as he looked back at Gabriella and Miguel who looked confused but far more scared for the news of Gabriella’s health.

“M/n it’s alright I’ll watch over her…make sure shes-“

M/n picked up the holo watch placeing it nearer to the glass sphere.

“I shouldn’t be long love”

“I know, amor just be careful”

M/n smiled at Miguel before following the doctor out of their daughter's observation room. Miguel’s eyes fell on his daughters small body inside the water like liquid as the motors light up her vitals which all looked all good; by all accounts she’s the picture of health?

“What is that doctor even talking about-“

Miguel’s thoughts were tossed out of the window as the room's door slammed open as M/n was thrown through the air, his body and head slamming into the thick glass of Gabriella’s container making a thin freak form.

Miguel’s instincts rushed into overdrive hearing a deep gurgling voice laugh as M/ns body could barely move as he struggled to sit up his head was bleeding socking the clothes he wore his arm had deep claw marks left his arm soaked in blood that poured down to the floor even as he tried to close the claw marks the best he could.

Miguel didn’t hesitate to run to his office door to run to the clinic if he had to; as he watched helplessly as m/n pressed his blood soaked body against Gabriella’s glass; trying to protect their daughter from the danger that wreaked havoc killing doctors, guards before turning its black tar like body towards M/n, tha skull markings mixed with the grotasted spider made of bones that wrapped in its front had M/ns throat clenched.

Only to scream to Miguel with his eyes filled with fear, tears and outright love for Miguel all while protecting their precious child even as his body screamed at him to run! M/n's heart pounded in his chest as his head started to feel light either from blood loss or adrenaline he couldn’t say as he looked at an even fearful Miguel eyes he knew were on the glass case of spiderman.

“Go on call for my bastard brother! I wanna tear his body limb from limb! Tell him to get spiderman to do his job YOU HEAR THAT OHARA CALL SPIDERMAN HELL COME DOWN HERE YOURSELF TOO! Haha watching Hope melt from your eye will be so sweet when I kill your brat and husband! ILL EVEN MAKE A DEAL! which one to kill! Haha”

The volume of the two overlapping voice made M/n and Miguel’s fear riddled minds spinning as M/n turned to Miguel, tears falling from both partners eyes as they both knew what M/n was about to say-

“No please don’t kill them I’ll do anything! What do you want, just name it! You want spiderman right I’ll give you him just don’t hurt-“

“Miguel please! Save Gab-“

M/n screamed as the monsters clawed hands grabbed him by his neck using its blood covered fingers to turn M/ns head to look at the breaking and frantic Miguel ohara; the man he loved more than life itself break down.

“Money! Do you want money! Drugs, what do you want please tell me and I’ll do it!”

“Haha he thinks we want that- no WE WANT BLOOD, WE WANT SPIDERMANS BLOOD WE KILL TO GET THE SPIDERS ATTENTION-“

“I will get him there please just don’t hurt them!”

M/n screamed as a clawed hand clawed through his skin over his checks.

“You come too brother! After all, I want to see your break the most!”

M/n's watch was smashed along with his body against the glass protecting his daughter's body. Who’s vitals were starting to hit an all time high as the stress, sounds and vibrations of each slam against the sphere began to raise them all in the red. M/n yelled out, gasping as he clawed the best he could against the tar body; only gaining laughter and burning green acid to nearly miss his body.

“P-please stop, don't hurt my daughter please!”

“We don’t care; we kill, we will kill you then that brat…and watch Spider-Man’s heart break when we eat your corpse!”

M/ns eyes widened as the monster spoke its teeth near centimeters away from biting his head off.the pain and lack of air being breathed in had M/ns head spinning as the reality of this monster knowing Spider-Man’s identity; of it KNOWING Miguel’s identity. Gasping for air as his body was thrown to the ground a black tendril wrapped around his neck lifting his body off the floor to slam him to the wall.

M/n cried out as he watched each tub was ripped out of the sphere that kept Gabriella’s vitals safe, now their child was moving around frantically as if she knew what was happening as a black clawed hand scratched the surface was if it took not strength, as it turned to M/n laughing as the hand picked the sphere up with Gabriella up;

“WERE GETTING BORED! Let’s have fun destroying families “

“No! Please! NO!”

~~~~~~

Miguel contacted the public eyes on the situation on an unknown enemy taking the CEO of Alchemaxs husband and child hostage! Many came to help weapons at the ready as they followed the web crawler to an utterly destroyed clinic; dead bodies laid sprawled across the medallic landing pad; the more Spiderman ran through the building the more fire he faced.

Migue didn’t wait for the public eye as he ran through the blood soaked halls, various glass spheres that now were broken with dead 7-9 month old children laying dead and blue. Dead parents, doctors, nurses, guards all littered the floor of the clinic. Miguel’s only focus now was to follow the mass of dead bodies that got more and more dismembered the farther he ran. The sounds of the public eye officers followed him to the room that hung wide open; the lights flickered as a scream ripped through the blood filled halls. Miguel's mind was only focused on one goal.

Save M/n and Gabriella; swinging into the large room that once was filled with small decorations m/n and Miguel had placed around the room for their Gabriella, now torn, and covered in blood. Shopping bags torn and laying amongst the desisted was sobs and screaming coming from behind tha monstrously grotesque monster who’s skin looked and moved like tar. It’s clawed hands smeared in blood.

A wet sound could Miguel’s attention as he looked down to see water…mixed with blood. His heart pounded as Miguel let out a scream to the mister his voice creaking with his scream, tears soaked his mask.

“I’m here! Fight me you fucking murder!”

The beast turned around it’s skull like pattern creased as it smiled a mouth full of ridged jagged teeth

“THE SPIDER CAME! Shame we only got one dead WELL KILL THE NEXT ONE LATER FIRST SPIDERMAN FIGHTS VENOM!!”

Miguel fought the beast focusing on the battle the best he could but no matter what he did the screaming sobs that ripped through the air as M/n held their daughters bleeding limp body to his chest distracted Miguel long enough for this Venom to take ahold of Miguel’s head holding his body up into the air, Miguels talons had no affect to venoms body as it chuckled bringing a long claw up to Miguel’s mask;

“I know who’s under there brother, WE WILL MAKE SURE TO LET YOUR BOND WATCH YOU GET DEVOURED-“

“Spiderman watch out!”

Miguels eyes fell on Venoms body as bullets ripped through venoms body as it dropped Miguel’s body into the water and blood…that got darker as Venoms laughed louder; as it jumped through the ceiling.

“YOUR BULLETS WENT THROUGH ME BUT DONT WORRY SOMETHING BEHIND ME STOPPED THEM!”

Miguel's eyes followed the pool of blood landing on…M/n who was barely breathing as his back was littered with bullet holes slumped on his side, his arms wrapped around the small lifeless body of their sweet Gabriella who was wrapped in a bloodied pink blanket….

“NOO! M/n! ¡No no!¡Esto no puede estar sucediendo, por favor, quédate conmigo!”

Miguel scrambled to his feet sliding to the gasping body of his Husband who held their dead daughter's body close.l who’s face looked at peace and beautiful as though she was just sleeping if it wasn’t for the blood on her pale brown skin that was so pale Miguel knew she was gone before she could even take her first breath.

Migues eyes frantically looked to M/n face whose face was smeared in blood and cuts. Miguel didn’t care who saw the two as Miguel's arms held the dying body of his husband. Who barely cling onto life; even still M/n gave Miguel a struggling smile as tears smeared the blood more even in pain he tried to comfort his broken husband.

“Miggy, I-it hurts so much ”

“I-I know amor I know; stay with me please love I can’t loose you too-“

Miguel held the hand in his as he pressed the cold hand to his lips and cheek. Ignoring the sounds of the shied agents shooing away the public eye to give the two privacy their concerned eyes went unnoticed by the couple as Spider-Man cried holding the two bodies.

“I don’t want to l-leave you yet! Miggy i-I’m scared it’s so cold. W-we lost Gabriella it hurts so much Miggy”

Miguel's sobs ripped through him as he pulled the injured boy of his husband close, putting pressure on the wounds on his back the best he could; to try to stop the bleeding!

“I should’ve been here with you-“

The hand on his cheek lifted the bottom half of the mask smiling at Miguel. Gasping as he held their daughter lifeless body to his chest, the pain was fading for M/n now a numbness from blood loss as well as the cold peaceful grasp of death began to pull him from Miguel’s warmth.

“You’ve always had a-s-such a handsome s-mile o-one of many r-easons I fell so hard for you. Wanna see it one one time please”

“No stop talking like that, You’re not going anywhere! I’ll save you, the doctors can save you both!”

M/n's vision began to blurt as he witnessed the once strong willed, loving man in his life break in front of him grasping at any once of hope he could…m/n knew it wasn’t possible as his body became so heavy even pulling Miguel closer was exhausting.

M/ns hand pulled Miguel down weakly, his ghosting breath against Miguel’s lips. Miguel's lips quivered his hands pulling the cold body of his husband closer as both shared one final kiss before even his lips turned cold.

“We love you so much Miguel…r-remember that hun…”

Miguel's eyes stared in shock as life left M/n's eyes, the once e/c eyes that Miguel could drown in now unfocused as they slowly closed, his husband's body going limp. Miguel desperately pulled the two love ones of his life to his chest as he screamed. Screams that ripped through the clinic, ripped the hearts of the public eyes, shield agents, and now the press that heard it.

It was a scream of pure agony as though one’s heart was ripped from their chest in seconds.

But Miguel didn’t care as he clung to the bodies of his husband and child. Both looking at peace at last… Miguel’s heart raged one as helix screams of mourning became a far cry of rage.

Out of the corner of his eyes he saw a sample of that living tar like substance. Placing his loved ones bodies down Miguel gripped a beaker scooping the disgusting monster in it.

“I’ll find you venom I’ll kill you myself”

~~~~

And suffer Miguel did as he marched into the labs the workers jumping back at their CEOs appearance. His eyes were red, bags and sunken cheeks made them wary of his mental state as he stood in front of the monster once again. Who is now a coward in the holding experimental cell.

Numbness was all Miguel felt as he wore two rings on his left hand, a small stained stuffed bunny with Gabs goggles wrapped around its neck in his other. Numbness and pain followed with a burning vengeance on his mind Miguel yelled.

“GET OUT!”

The staff didn’t hesitate to rush out of the labs. Rveryone walked on eggshells the past few days as their CEO was a grieving mess after the loss of both his husband and daughter. Everyone knew however what his goal was when spiderman threw the beast in the holding cell.

They knew Miguel was going to kill the monster.

Placing the bunny rabbit next to the frequency controls Miguel stared at the rabbit, the ring that once belonged to M/n now on his finger. As he traced over the letters;

‘You are my one and only light’

“AWWW IS CEO GETTING COLD FEE-AHHHH ahhh”

Miguels bared his teeth at the beast as his hand cranked the volume to max; tears ran down the widower’s face as he screamed over venoms suffering.

“IM GOING TO MAKE YOU FEEL THE SAME PAIN MY HUSBAND AND DAUGHTER FELT WHEN YOU KILLED THEM YOU FUCKING MONSTER!”

“OOOH HIT A NERVE-ahhhhhh”

“And when I’m done I’ll burn your corpse and throw you in concrete where you’ll be forgotten!”

“MIGUEL STOP PLEASE!”

A scream ripped from the rippling symbiote, a voice Miguel faintly remembers hearing through years of working at Alchemax, the voice of Kron Stone. His half brother was a cold blooded murder who wreaked havoc across the country killing families. Miguel snarled cranking the volume to Max screaming over the beast's scream. His voice cracking as sobs ripped over his screams, the memories of his and M/ns years of life together flashed in his mind.

Their first kiss, their first date, their first time together…their fights, concerns, love, laughter, hardships, marriage, wedding, planning for a baby. Most of all seeing M/n's face splattered with paint as they laughed while decorating Gabriella’s room. His warm arms that comforted Miguel’s during hard nights of spiderman… the blood that belonged to his husband and their daughter covering Miguel’s hands.

“YOU HAVE NO SHOCKIN RIGHT TO BEG FOR MERCY! YOU DIDN'T PROVIDE M/N OR GABRIELLA! AIM GOING TO MAKE YOU SUFFER YOU HEAR ME!”

The screams echoed from the room, the sounds of screaming from the Symbiote before silence, what followed was bone crunching punch after punch; sickening and bloodied as screams from whoever bonded to the Symbiote was beaten to death.

Miguel stood up, his hands bloodied, his knuckles split open and bruised as he stared down at the bloodied face that was barely recognizable to what Kron once looked like. Miguel landed a final kick to the murders face his breathing was erratic as he walked over the cowardly form of sludg that was the Symbiote now back as far as the hold glass cell allowed,

Miguel’s eyes blazed red as Miguel emotionless expression stared down at the alien before slamming his fist against the red botton that set the Symbiote ablazed its screams did get an once of pity from Miguel ad he turned around picking up the small stained rabbit before exiting the room. Turning to one of the public eye guards who looked terrified of his boss as he spoke,

“Throw that Trash into the incinerator; I don’t want to see it or hear about it anymore”

“Y-yes sir”

~~~~

Miguel’s return home was lonely; the house that was once held so many memories that was going to hold more now sat dark, dim, and grim as a thin layer of dust sat on the furniture that M/n used to always be at. The kitchen was empty and bare as fast food platters and bags littered the island.

Lyla, no matter what she tried couldn’t keep up with Miguel’s spiral of grief. But today seeing his hands injured and spattered with blood that wasn’t his own Lyla gently guided him towards his and M/ns room that was just as a mess as the rest of the house the two shared.

Miguel paused at the closed door with a small painted name plate;

~Gabriella~

His heart broke but Miguel stared at the stain rabbit with Gabes goggles hanging off its neck. His injured hands shook as they wrapped around the knob twisting it open to a thinly dusted room filled with toys that would never get played with, a crib that would never hold their sweet Gabriella.

Miguel took in a shaky breath as Lyla watched him, her own chest clenching as she watched Miguel place the small rabbit into the crib and pulling a pink blanket over it before walking out and closing the door.

Miguel entered his and M/ns room the thick smell of m/ns thick cologne hung heavily in the rooms air, on every blanket and clothes as Miguel’s body fell onto the bed his large body curling ever blanket he could to his face as Miguel cried his hands hurt, his heart hurt…and most of all his soul hurt as he took in the smell of the man he will never get to hold, never get to kiss or spend anymore time with anymore.

Their daughter they both wanted so badly was dead, his husband was dead all Miguel could feel was heartbreaking grief as Miguel eyes filled with tears stared at Lyla whose face looked ready to cry herself as her body took its human size her hand hovering on Miguel’s shoulder as he begged;

“Lyle tell me a story, make the hurting stop”

(I’m crying, no joke I was sobbing!)

#fanfic #across the spiderverse #spiderman 2099 #miguel o'hara #male reader #miguel o’hara x male reader #oneshot #miguel ohara x reader #griefandloss #tw death #angst

[arlana-likes-to-write]

Second Chance - Chapter 7

Master list

Warning: affects of chemotherapy treatment, lack of appetite, fatigue, body aches

Note: a lot of this chapter is based on my own personal experience with the disease. As I've learned chemotherapy effects everyone very differently. The type of chemo the reader is on is based on her type of cancer but the treatment plan may not be 100% accurate.

Relationships: Yelena x Reader, Avengers x Reader (Platonic), Wanda x reader (Platonic), Tony x daughter!reader, Pepper x daughter!reader

Word Count: 2.9k

“Breakfast smells wonderful darling,” Vision said, with a quick kiss to Wanda’s temple. Eating wasn’t something the android needed to do, he gathered energy from the mind stone. Sometimes, she would see him try a small bite of food to understand the appeal of it.

“Thank you,” she said. Even though he didn’t eat, he would always compliment her on it. She knew she didn’t have to cook for the team, everyone had their individual space and the ability to cook their food. But it was Wanda’s way to bring everyone together and to ensure everyone was eating. She grew up in a war-torn country where food wasn’t the easiest to come by. Three meals a day was a luxury. She knew what it felt like to be hungry and as long as she was around, no one would know that feeling.

As the common area began to fill with the sound of silverware against plates and the chatter of the plans for the day, Wanda smiled. Her family. She never thought she’d be here. With the death of her brother, her time at the RAFT, and 5 years of her life taken from her, she felt undeserving of a happy family. Her eyes fell on Yelena, Kate, and America. The trio were laughing about something but she was surprised you weren’t with them. She frowned, setting down her cup of coffee, and excused herself.

The AI must have sensed her urgency because the elevator wasted no time getting her to your floor. She knocked a few times on your door but it remained shut. She opened the door and saw your kitchen empty. Walking towards the direction of your bedroom, she saw you in bed still fast asleep. She knew you overdid it yesterday. Quietly, she walked to the side of your bed and sat in the space. “Sweetheart,” she gently rubbed your back. “Can you wake up for me?” It took a moment but you groaned and your eyes blinked open. “Good morning,” she said. “Breakfast is ready, do you want me to bring you some?” You shook your head.

“Not hungry,” you mumbled, closing your eyes. That worried Wanda. You barely ate dinner and she doubted you ate anything when you met your floor mates. “Why don’t I go get you a protein shake?” You were already falling asleep when Wanda left your room and went into the kitchen. She saw a box of strawberry Ensure that was mission one. Grabbing a bottle and a sleeve of crackers, she walked back into your room. You were in the same position she left you. However, when she set the food on your nightstand and sat back down on your bed, your eyes fluttered open. “I brought you an ensure and some crackers. Can you promise you’ll try to drink some of it?” You nodded.

“Promise,” you mumbled, eyes closing again.

“Let FRIDAY know if you need anything, okay?” You hummed that you understood. Wanda sighed and left your room, gently closing the door behind her. While she walked back to the common area, she was lost in thought of the possibility today you not getting better.

“How is she?” Vision asked when she returned to her spot with Vision, Natasha, and Bucky.

“How did-?” She cut herself off. It was the mind stone. It gave him life and her powers but also a deep connection between the pair. Wanda sighed, glancing at the Young Avengers who were now entertaining Morgan. “She’s not doing well. She barely could keep her eyes open and she wasn’t hungry.” Natasha took a sip of her coffee.

“We should tell Pepper and Tony, they’ll want to know.” She kept her hands wrapped around the mug as she stared into the dark liquid. Wanda kept her powers from venturing into the Black Widow’s thoughts. Instead, Bucky gently hit his shoulder against hers.

“What’s on your mind, doll?” He asked. The Black Widow sighed, setting her mug on the counter.

“I just hope one of us is a match,” she said. “Not sure what will happen to this tower if she doesn’t pull through.” Wanda wondered if the Russian developed the ability to read minds as those were the same thoughts and fears running through her mind.

“Miss. Easton is a remarkable young lady,” Vision said. “She will pull through.”

“Yes she is,” Wanda confirmed. “But the body can only go through so much.” She saw a brief moment in your mind when you touched her powers. There were a lot of light and happy moments that you held onto tight but there were emotions inside you that Wanda knew too well. Guilt. Anger. Sadness. A small dash of loneliness. The witch was worried those emotions were going to win.

*

With Wanda’s update regarding how you were feeling and a much-needed break, Pepper told Tony she could go check on you. She was hoping that a little more sleep was all you needed and you would be back to your normal self. Tony hid it well but the news Wanda told them worried him. Unfortunately, when Pepper entered your room, you were still asleep in bed and the food Wanda left you remained untouched. The CEO sighed and sat on your bed. “Hey honey,” Pepper softly spoke. “Wakey, wakey” you groaned and flopped onto your back. Your eyes blinked open and you rubbed sleep out of them, keeping our arm across your eyes.

“Hi,” you whispered. Pepper smiled.

“How are you?” You shrugged.

“I’m okay,” the CEO took your arm off your face and gave you a pointed look. You sighed. “I’ve been better.” Pepper chuckled.

“You need to eat and drink something.”

“I did eat,” she glared down at you.

“Both items Wanda left you are unopened,” you frowned. “You have to eat something, sweetheart. Your old man is starting to worry.” You giggled but nodded and sat up. “What do you want?”

“Ensure and my water bottle,” Pepper grabbed the two bottles and handed them to you. You took a few slow sips of your water then opened the ensure. Your nose scrunched as you brought it to your lips. A shiver went down your spine as took two big gulps and struggled to swallow it. You shook your head and put the cap on the bottle. “I won’t be able to keep down anymore.” You said, taking a few more sips of your water.

“You did a great job, honey,” she praised and placed your water bottle back on the nightstand. “Try the crackers in a little bit and I’ll put the rest of this in the fridge.”

“Thank you, Pepper,” you lay back down. “And tell Tony I’m fine,” your eyes started to close. “This is normal.”

“Normal?” She questioned. You hummed, nodding your head.

“Double dosage,” you yawned. “Kicks my ass every time.” ‘Did she just say it happens every time?’ Pepper thought. If you were affected this badly by your normal treatment, how was Plan B gonna affect you? She wasn’t sure if Tony or Morgan or even herself could handle it if your condition got worse.

The CEO was snapped out of her thoughts by your quiet snores. The CEO sighed, stood up, and gently ran her hand over your head. “You’ll overcome this,” she said, kissing your forehead. “You can’t come into our lives, turn it upside down, then leave.”

*

“I want Y/n to have dinner with us,” Morgan pouted, moving her barely-touched spaghetti into the bowl. It was tradition for the family of three to have dinner together on their floor. But Morgan refused to eat until you were there, putting on a little hungry strike.

“We told you, little miss, that she isn’t feeling well,” Pepper said. The girl huffed, throwing her fork down and crossing her arms.

“But she was fine yesterday. I don’t understand. She said her doctor made sure she was healthy,” Tony sighed, whipping his mouth with a napkin. “Why did she lie?”

“She didn’t lie, pumpkin, sometimes we have days where we feel good and other days not so much,” her pout remained. “Do you remember when you got sick last year? You felt better and played with Lila and Nathaniel all day but the next day you felt all sicky again.” He explained. His youngest slowly nodded.

“The same thing is happening to Y/n,” Pepper added.

“How about this, you eat your dinner and I’ll go check on her and no you can’t come,” he said quickly, shutting down the idea that he saw turning in her head. “Eat your food, squirt,” he kissed the top of her head. “Your mother worked hard on it.”

“Give her a hug for me,” Morgan spun around in her chair. “And, and tell her I want another story. And I want to play fair princesses and-”

“Dinner. Eat,” he cut off his daughter before her rambling got too out of hand.

As Tony took the elevator to your floor, his heart started to beat against his chest. He was nervous. What if you didn’t want to see him and turned him away? What if he messed this up and you no longer wanted him to be in your life? Sighing, he opened the door to your small apartment and ventured towards your bedroom. He was surprised to see you sitting up in your bed with a sketchbook. You smiled. “I was wondering when you’d be down to check on me,” the billionaire chuckled and sat down by your feet. Your knees were bent so he couldn’t see what you were drawing.

“Can I see?” He pointed to the sketchbook. You bit the end of your pencil as you thought about it.

“Sure but it’s not at all finished so don’t judge it too hard,” you handed it to him. He stared at the outline of Morgan while she was playing with some of her toys. “I know it’s not great but -”

“No,” Tony said. “It’s great. You are incredibly talented,” he handed you back the sketchbook. “You drew the pictures that are hung up in your living room.” You nodded, earrings a part of the drawing to redo it.

“Yeah, National Geographic used some of my drawings for an article,” you smiled. “I have the edition somewhere. I’ll show it to you.” He remembered reading about your love for drawing in one of Jessica’s letters. She bought you one of those deluxe art sets with paints and crayons for Christmas. Out of all the toys you received that year, the art set was your most played with gift. Tony imagined spending time with you in his lap as you drew him blueprints for new inventions. Maybe it could happen when you were feeling better. “I’m okay, Tony,” you said, closing your sketchbook. “Just part of the process.”

“Well I’m here because Princess Morgan has a message,” you sat up straighter at the mention of the younger girl.

“Oh and what does her majesty say?” Tony chuckled at your serious tone. “This is not a laughing matter, what does the princess request?” Even you couldn’t keep a straight face and let out a few giggles.

“The princess declares she wants to play fair princesses, another story, and,” he paused. The next request was complicated but he knew FRIDAY would inform his 4-year-old that he didn’t tell you everything. You raised a questioning eyebrow. “And she wants me to give you a hug.”

“Oh,” you squeaked, not expecting it but you recovered and smiled. “Are you going to give me a hug?”

“Do you want a hug?” He countered. You titled your head.

“Yeah, I think I’d like one,” To say Tony was shocked was an understatement. You wanted a hug. A hug from your father that wasn’t in your life but now was. Tony stood up and held out his arms. You hesitated, placed your sketchbook on the nightstand, and hugged him. The billionaire wrapped his around you and felt you let out a shaky breath. He couldn’t help himself and rested his chin on the top of your head.

“You’re a fighter, squirt,” he whispered. “You’re gonna get through this.” You ended the hug, eyes glossy from tears but you refused to let them fall. Instead, you let out another breath and chuckled.

“Squirt?” You questioned. Tony shrugged.

“Testing out nicknames for you, how do you like it?” You scrunched your nose.

“It’s okay. Let me know if you come up with something else.” He chuckled.

“Understood,” he kissed your forehead. “Come get me if you need anything.”

“I will,” you whispered.”

*

You watched him leave your room and when you heard the door closed you slumped back into bed. Tears prickled at the corner of your eyes as you still felt his arms around you. He smelt like spaghetti and coffee, and he was so warm. You wished he was still hugging you but it made you miss your mom even more. The way she also smelt of coffee from long days at the courthouse that she tried to mask with her floral perfume. With a sigh, you stood up and made your way to the kitchen, your sketchbook in your hand. You knew you weren’t going to be able to keep the ensure down so that left you limited options. Yogurt, no. Oatmeal, no. Applesauce, maybe. You grabbed a small apple sauce, and vanilla protein powder, and sat down at the island. You put about 2 tablespoons of the powder into the apple sauce and mix it up.

Starring at the spoonful, you contemplated your life choices and ate it. Yup, it was not good; tasted like metal even when you were using a plastic spoon. But you managed to eat all of it. Once you cleaned up, you decided to move onto the couch. With a Disney movie on and your sketchbook on your lap, it was a nice change of scenery. You took a break from the drawing you started of Morgan and began a new one. It was the picture you took of the Blonde Black Widow from your outing together.

You couldn’t help it but this image plagued your mind. You thought about it constantly not just the image but her. Her warmth. Her smile. Her sense of humor. Everything about her made your heart skip and stomach drop. Oh, you were in trouble.

*

It was morning when your door opened again. You slept on the couch, too tired and achy to move back to your room. You smirked when you saw America and Kate. “I feel like I need to lock that door,” you said. “Everyone just keeps coming in.” America giggled.

“Well, we come barring gifts.” She said, walking over to the couch with her girlfriend. They sat down around the table and you slide off the couch to join them on the floor. America set a board game on the table called A Ticket to Ride and Kate began to take out snacks from plastic bags. Pretzels, crackers, and a few breakfast options. She set an electrolyte drink in front of you.

“What are you guys doing?” You asked.

“We thought we could keep you company since you aren’t feeling well,” Kate said. “We can leave if you want us to.” You shook your head.

“No, this is great,” you said. “So, how do we play?”

*

“Did she eat anything?” Tony asked the couple when they walked out of the elevator. Kate shook her head.

“She drank an electrolyte drink we got her but nothing.” So with Kate and America’s attempt to get you to eat something not going to plan, Tony found himself in med bay with Helen on a video chat with Dr. Carpenter.

“When was the last time she ate?” Your doctor asked, leaning forward in his office chair.

“FRIDAY, can you give us a list of everything she’s eaten in the past few days?” Tony asked the AI. The AI was quiet for a second as it collected all the data.

“Miss. Eaton’s last full meal was breakfast the day after her chemotherapy appointment,” which was almost 48 hours ago. “Since then she’s had half of an ensure, some crackers, and apple sauce with protein powder,” Tony watched the man think, head moving side to side.

“Okay, if she doesn’t eat tonight we’ll hook her up at an IV- hydration fluids and a low dosage of steroids,” he turned to his computer. “I’ll prescribe her some steroids that she’ll need to take before her next treatment. Can you weigh her before you start?” Helen nodded.

“We’ll get her all set up here,” she said.

“Before we go, I want to thank you for taking the time to talk to us,” Tony said. “But is she like this after every treatment?” Lucas sighed, placing his chin in his hands.

“I am going to tell you something about your daughter, Tony,” he started. “When her mother died, she cut everyone out of her life. If she didn’t send me a postcard every once in a while, I would have no idea if she was alive,” the billionaire frowned at that. “So, she’s used to dealing with everything on her own.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Because I don’t know,” he admitted. “Even as her doctor and friend, she told me the bare minimum of how she feels. Like I said, she’s very stubborn and it may be her downfall.”

_

Taglist: @likemick, @averagetmblrusser, @wandaromamoff69, @simpforyelenabelova, @cd-4848,

#second chance #yelena belova x reader #yelena belova x you #avengers x reader #tony stark x daughter #tony stark x you #pepper potts x daughter!reader #tony stark x daughter!reader #tony stark x reader #pepper potts x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x reader

[unsoundedcomic]

Lots of peoples irl think an immortal soul/eternal essence/unforgettable memories is/are a defining characteristic of humans.

cont. "I mean to say that to those people it isn't so weird for humans to persist while the inhuman fade with their material being."

--

I know, I think that's most people. Humans tend to intuit some kind of extraphysical existence, the same way we intuit a flat earth and free will and a sun that moves across the sky - if we don't investigate all this and learn any different. I don't personally see how such a phenomenon is possible when we know that consciousness and indeed everything we are is produced by our brain. When the brain dies, we go black like the light on my ceiling fan when I flick the power switch off. We don't ask where the light went. It's just gone. Wolf's not still flailing around somewhere trying to avoid flung poop from an angry monkey when I end sekiro.exe.

I do understand the intuition though. When my dog died and I was carrying her out to the car to go to the doggie crematorium, her body was so shockingly pliant, heavy, and suddenly empty. It was like she'd left it and gone somewhere else. She didn't go with her body out to the car at all, she was just laying in my room behind my desk chair, still. It felt like that for weeks.

A lot of Unsounded's cosmology is the result of me wondering what the consequences would be if there really was extraphysical conscious existence. Like, there are so many versions of you. Which one would be eternal? Would your consciousness and memories at the time of death lift off you in one intact blob, or would everything break apart into all the selves you were? Your five year old self has no idea who your fifty year old self is, and vice versa, more or less. I don't see how they could stay together. If your five year old self simply doesn't get to be immortal like your death self, what about if you die with terrible dementia or a brain injury, would that just be you forever? Or does it roll back to a previous version? Where is that previous version coming from? Are there back-ups? So your child selves DO persist? What about all your trauma? Do you have to remember it all forever? Maybe you have no memories at all and are just an empty consciousness. Is there much satisfaction in being the equivalent of a disembodied houseplant for all eternity? Can you make new memories without a brain? How would you do anything without it? Or eyes or any senses?! AAAA!

Of course the simplest answer to all this is there's no reason to think it's a concern, the whole concept is just something we intuit incorrectly. Like the inak, I'm pretty cool with that. Because the alternative is really scary to think about.

Duane imagines Ssael seeing the khert and the eels and the squishes and all that, and deciding immediately that the Gods had to go.

[dancingrain9625]

Run no Longer Pt 3

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

The Raiden Shogun opened their eyes with a hand placed on their chest, clutching it tightly. What had... They had... They... lost? How... How could they have lost to the imposter of all people? The Shogun could still feel a lingering pain in their chest despite their lack of a wound. It seems that Ei had already repaired her. That at least would explain where she was. The plane of Euthemyia. Still, she could not deny that something was off about it. That something was... different.

The Shogun knew that the plane changed alongside the mindest of Raiden Ei and yet it was never this... peaceful. Perhaps this meant... "Was the imposter captured? Is that what settles your worries Ei?" The Shogun spoke aloud, not expecting anyone to answer, and yet... "No. I was not captured. It's more so the other way around."

The Shogun whipped around and drew her polearm only to find her hands empty. "Yeah sorry. Not gonna find any of your weapons here." "If you believe that will allow you to best me a second time then you are sorely mistaken. You had taken advantage of a rare emotional outburst. I will make sure that it will never happen again." The Shogun moved her hand to her chest and began to pull out... nothing. "It seems you don't understand the situation you're in. Come on. Sit down."

You motioned to a small table and two chairs set next to you. Atop it is a kettle and two cups. The Shogun had a confused look as she stared at the table. "That was not there a moment ago." "Indeed it was not. Tea?" You ask holding up a cup as you sit down at the table only for it to be smacked out of your hand. "I will not play your games Imposter! This is not the plane of Euthemyia! Where have you taken me?!" You stare at the now broken cup on the ground. "What a waste of good tea... Just kidding." You let out a small laugh as you stretch out your hand over to the cup and its shards fly back to it and return to its original form.

You take a sip from the cup before speaking. "You're right. This isn't the plane of Euthymia. In fact, we're in an underground bunker I've constructed directly underneath Inazuma City." You look back to the Shogun and all you can see is pure fury and spite in their eyes. "You lie. What is this place? Tell me... before I end your poor excuse of a life!" The Shogun lunges for you and tackles you to the ground. Both of her hands wrapped tightly around your throat as they attempt to choke you to death.

"You done yet?" It was several minutes later when the puppet finally let go of you. "You... You..!" The Shogun looked at you with more fury than before. Something you thought wasn't possible as she had already looked pretty angry when she tried to kill you a second ago. Something you found incredibly annoying. "You ready to listen to me yet?" With a huff, the Shogun moved to sit down on the chair at the other side of the small table, the angry look not leaving their face. "What is this place?" She asked in an impatient tone.

"There are two correct answers to that question. I already told you one." You replied. "Underneath the city... and the other?" The Shogun questions. "Right up here." You say as you point to your head. "And there." You continue as you point to her head. "What... What do you mean?" The Shogun's anger slowly begins to dissipate as it is replaced with confusion. "We currently reside in a... how do you say... link between our minds. Hence why this place resembles the plane of Euthymia and at the same time does not. Our brains or whatever it is you have for a brain in your case created this place out of a combination of our memories. Hence why I'm able to do things like this." You say as you swipe your arm over the table and the tea set is replaced with a game of chess. "How did you accomplish this?" The Shogun questions, some of the anger from earlier returning.

"A magician never reveals their secrets. Care to play?" You reply which only worked to infuriate the Shogun even more. "Why bring me here?!" The Shogun shouts at you only for you not to reply. Instead you motion to the game of chess to which the Shogun begrudgingly plays and moves the first piece. "Why do you think?" You ask as you move your own chess piece. "If I knew, I wouldn't have asked you." She replies angrily as she makes another move. "Then let me ask this. What are you?" You move another piece on the board. "I am... the puppet of the Raiden... You intend to make me your own?!" She asks in an infuriated tone. "That's the plan."

The Shogun sits there in silence staring at the chessboard. "If you know that I am not the true Raiden then you must know how I was made to resist changes to my programming, yes?" She replies though she finishes off her sentence like a taunt. "I do know that. But you must also realize that doesn't apply if I were to erase all your programming and reprogram you from scratch yes? Still your turn by the way." The Shogun takes a moment before moving one of her pieces. "And yet you didn't. Why?"

"Because I'm not the monster this world thinks me to be." You reply coldly as you move one of your pieces. "You impersonate our creator. Someone who commits such an unforgivable crime will be punished. Whether they are Man or Monster." The Shogun retorts as she moves a piece. "You act as if I have any choice in how I look. If there were any way for me to change my appearance don't you think I would have done it by now? No one wants to spend three years on the run." You reply as move a chess piece.

"Maybe not but that does little to excuse the countless lives you've taken." She retorts as she makes her move. "If a man attempted to kill you would you let him strike you down or would you fight back? I on multiple occasions have made pleas to each nation for a cease-fire and yet you all refused. So every time I was forced to end a life it was because you or some other archon would send your soldiers to kill me. That blood is equally on your hands as it is mine." You retort as you move another piece. "Check."

"They were soldiers. They knew what they were fighting for. They despise you as much as any other creation of the holy one does." The Shogun replies as she moves her king to safety. "You ever bother to think that maybe your so-called "Holy one" might not appreciate you killing people in their name? Check." The puppet looks away from the chessboard and into your eyes. "I simply follow the orders I am given. I am Raiden's kagemusha. It is not my place to think of what the creator may want best when she has met them personally." The Raiden moves the king away again.

"And you're satisfied with that? Being told what to be angry at? Being told what to be happy about? Being told when to express your sorrow?" "Yes. Because that is my purpose." The Shogun replied coldly. All with the mannerisms of a machine without feeling and yet...

"You are a terrible liar. Checkmate"

"I wasn't built for it after all." The Shogun was a puppet created by Raiden Ei in order for her to hide away, a perfect replica so that none would even know that she left. And much like its creator at the time the puppet was also an emotionless machine that merely did what it believed was necessary. But as of recently, things have changed. Raiden Ei has changed and so too her puppet has changed alongside her. It was a puppet made to mirror her after all. Even if it did resist at first.

"What do you want?" The shogun asked. "I want your help." You replied. "I'm tired. Tired of running. Tired of hiding. I don't want to be forced to hurt others anymore. But in order to do that I need for others to understand that I'm either not someone they can mess with or not the threat they think I am. Unfortunately, this plan won't get far without some powerful friends."

"Why would I help you?" "Because you're one of the only beings on this planet rational enough to know that what these people are doing is insane." The Shogun stares at you for a moment, her bright purple eyes flickering like lightning as she remained trapped in thought. "You could have simply reprogrammed me. Avoided the risk of getting caught and exposing your hideout. Instead, you chose to place your faith in me. I've decided that I will do the same with you. All I ask is that you refrain from killing from this point onward."

"Sounds good to me."

_______

What do you think?

Tag list: @sylv1ialss @vvyeislazzy

#genshin impact #gn reader #sagau #genshin #genshin impact sagau #angst #raiden shogun

[viaoverthemoon]

Can I request you a fic for Vendetta Leon!. Where leon is married and has a wife but having drinking problems because he lost his unit and after the Glenn Arias incident it still doesn't improve. So she convinces that he doesn't have to be alone and she will be there for him and will help him get through this. Just a lot of fluff and a little bit of angst. (You can ignore this request if you want)

Ask, and thy shall receive!

Vendetta!Leon x Fem!Reader

Summary: Your husband Leon has been struggling, and you remind him that you'll always be there for him no matter what. <3

Thank you for waiting! I hope this is satisfactory! <3

Tw: Mentions of alcohol abuse, addiction healing, angst but it's not bad, fluff

Enjoy! <3

'Til Death Do Us Part

❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁

Your body suddenly notices the coldness by your side where your warm husband should be laying. You reach out, hoping to drag him back to you, only to find the area empty.

You're awake now, sitting up slowly as you wipe away the sleep in your eyes. Trying not to let the panic take over at the possibility that Leon may have gotten called to work, you decide to look around first.

Tugging on your robe, you get out of your shared bed and walk to the bathroom where light pours from the cracks of the door.

Only, when you slowly open the door, your heart instantly sinks and you let out a slow exhale.

"Oh, Leon..." Leon's drunken gaze turns to you, mouth upturning into a wide smile as he accidentally knocks over one of the numerous empty alcohol bottles that surround him as he sits on the floor.

You try not to show your slight disappointment as you walk to him, his hands reaching for you. "Sweetheart! I didn't know you'd be awake this early. I would've made you breakfast or sang you a song, or something."

He clearly isn't making sense.

He trails off with his slurred blabbering when he sees your face, the look of concern and pure disappointment causing him to sober up a bit.

"Oh... Honey I'm- I'm so fucking sorry." He rubs his hands along your shins and calves. "I know... I said I was doing better but-... Oh (Y/n) I'm not. I'm really not. But I'll-! I'll get better soon I promise! I just needed a sip or two- I swear-" He continues to babble incoherent promises and begs for you to forgive him, the look in his eyes one of fear and hesitation. Your heart cries for him.

You crouch in front of your husband and gently hold his face, watching as he relaxes into your touch. "Lee... of course I forgive you. You're going through a lot, and I completely understand that. Am I a little upset?... Yes. I am. But I'm not going to leave you. I'm with you, my love. No matter what."

"I know, sweetheart. I know. I'm sorry I just-" He pauses, letting out a shaky exhale as tears fill his eyes. "I'm just going through a lot right now-..."

His tears begin to free fall and you take his head into your arms, sitting next to him and holding him as he cries his heart out to you.

"Oh Lee. It's hard, I know." You hold him for however long he needs you to, ignoring the rise of the sun and the chirp of the birds. Only when he pulls away do you let yourself be brought back to reality.

You brush your fingers through his hair as he looks at you, sniffling with dried tears on his face.

"I'll always be here for you. And if you mess up, that's fine. We'll start again as many times as we need to." You raise your hand to his chest, right over his heart. And he does the same to you. "I'm not giving up. And neither are you. We're in this together, Lee." You caress his face with your other hand.

"Til death do us part."

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Omgg hiii. Y'all I've been working all week. This is the first break I've gotten.

Let me know what you think!

Hope you enjoyed! <3

Requests are open!

#leon x reader #resident evil #viaoverthemoon #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy smut #re4 leon #re4 #angst #vendetta!leon kennedy #vendetta leon #re vendetta #resident evil vendetta #resident evil x reader #resident evil x you

[damn-stark]

Chapter 10 Nobody gets me but…

Chapter 10 of Moonlight

A/N- FROM NOW ON THERE WILL BE SPOILERS FOR FUTURE EVENTS OF HOTD!!!

Warning- Swearing, ANGST, suggested sexual activities, fluff, talks of death, SPOILERS.

Pairing- Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon!fem-reader, Cregan Stark x Velaryon!fem-reader

Episode- After 1x09, events based off of Fire and Blood

(If you want to be tagged let me know)

————

There he is, dancing against the firelight, smiling and laughing, curious about things he still has yet to understand. There you are following his lead, full of pride that he is almost a man grown, that he has learned kindness. You’re both there dancing, but only in your mind. He’s nothing but a spirit now, another star in the endless sky.

6 years apart, and then he’s taken after only days of being reunited. He was so sweet, there was no evil bone in his body whatsoever, but he’s gone now.

“Would you like to dance?”

You look away from the empty space in front of the dinner table and see Cregan standing over you with his hand out.

Dancing at this very moment reminds you of Lucerys, all because of those few seconds you danced at dinner. Hearing the music fill the hall took everything in you not to just burst out crying.

“It will help,” Cregan tries to assure you.

Mayheps he’s right, besides nothing good can come out of wallowing in your thoughts.

“Just one,” you give in, and then slowly place your hand over his to let him pull you to your feet with your gazes never wavering. As he takes you to the empty space those who had accompanied you for dinner go quiet, and you feel their watchful eyes.

“It’s just like when we would dance at the Godswood,” he murmurs as he places one hand on your waist and elegantly swings the other to the air. “Just you and I.”

You offer him a kind smile and nod while you begin to follow his lead to the tune of the soft music playing in the corner of the hall.

“You are marvelous in that gown,” he compliments you. “Even if it is a resused gown.”

You muster a small giggle and his eyes soften—“well yes I do look quite well don't I?” You tease and step away to continue dancing apart from each other. “Albeit I am quite cold now. You would think five years here would’ve taught me something.”

Cregan grins. “I thought the cold didn’t bother you,” he taunts. “You said so on your name day when you got the violet dress from your mother.”

He always remembers every detail. And he never fails to make you smile. “Well,” you sigh and shrug. “I’ll say summer snows are different.”

Cregan shares a breathless laugh. “They quite are.”

You want to add something about his appearance but then you slowly spin around him so you wait until you’re facing him to add on. “Here I thought men with long hair were rugged beasts with fleas.” You quote him. “Your words not mine.”

Cregan hums and shrugs. “Well, I've changed my mind. And you…you braided your hair.”

You smile sweetly. “Yes, a part of it anyway, I wanted to go for a more bohemian style. And well it’s easier to just maintain and what not.”

“Braids have always suited you,” he chooses his words wisely. “I remember when you came here for the first time, your hair was all over the place, had a mind of its own.”

You flash him a grin. “I was in my rebellious phase. It was a look.”

Cregan snorts. “Oh so what phase are you in now?” He taunts you.

You avert your gaze and think, albeit as you look away you catch the gawkers. Some people had joined you on the floor to dance, but the others sat and stared at Cregan and you and whispered in each other's ears. Perhaps it’s about the war that looms, or about him and you, or about him smiling when he hardly ever does.

Your families are already at war, if this were to get spoken to the Dowager Queen—

Yet…he did kill Lucerys. He did it, whatever the reason was; on accident or purpose he still did it. He hurt you in the worst way possible.

Yet…

“I think,” you cut off the conversation. “I need some air.” You offer him a feigned smile and walk to your brother without explanation. “I’m done with dinner,” you let Jacaerys know. “Good night. Be careful okay?”

Jacaerys glances at Cregan past your shoulder and then faces you with a confused and already protective look as he stands up and parts his lips.

However you don’t let him ask anything, you just leave. You walk and walk, feeling the weight of your grief, confusion and agony come crashing back after pushing it away for just a moment.

The outside air doesn’t help clear your mind though. Going to your chambers only helps by polluting more of your mind, by making the air in your lungs feel stuffy. So you walk out again and stride to the Godswood for some peace of mind, but the gods can’t even help with your anguish now. All you think about is Aemond, about what he did to Lucerys, you just feel the betrayal poisoning your heart. You still need answers, but in every corner of your mind all you see is Aemond killing Lucerys, by dragonfire, with a sword. You see him killing your brother.

It was driving you mad until you find yourself in the highest tower of Winterfell’s castle; in front of the single small window overlooking the grounds below, the gates and the lands behind it. You can see the stars, and even if the sky brought you sadness once before because of your father, now it helps, it’s the small solution you looked for.

That and quietly singing to yourself a song in a language people here don’t understand helped relieve your mind. It makes time irrelevant now as you can finally feel the chilly air unfurl in your lungs as well.

“You never told me you could sing,” the sound of Cregan’s voice startles you, causing you to jerk back against the open window. “Careful.”

“Seven hells,” you hiss.

“You have a beautiful voice,” Cregan says softly as he lets his eyes roam your face.

“You shouldn’t be here,” you tell him as you exhale deeply. “I came to catch some air, to ease my mind. You’ll only cloud it.” You blink and look out the window again.

The sound of his boots heels click against the wooden boards as he walks to you. “I couldn’t dare go to bed with you being so upset.”

You sigh deeply and clench your jaw to avoid shedding tears at the mere sound of his soft voice.

“If there’s anything I can do—”

Fuck.

You abruptly stand up from your seat by the window and charge at him to then proceed and smack your lips against his.

His words were simple, full of pity, but he’s here and you’re hurting. Angry most of all.

But just as you expected Cregan cups your cheeks and pulls away. “You said no,” he rebuttals.

You meet his gaze that brewed like a storm and cup the sides of his neck. “I change my mind,” you put it simply. “Please, make me yours one more time. Please, my love. I miss you.”

Cregan leans forward at the sound of your soft words, but hesitates as his lips brush against yours.

You part your lips and wait with lust setting you aflame.

“It’s,” you pant. “It’s okay. I’ll just cherish the kiss I just—”

Before you can say anything else, Cregan pulls you in for a deep open mouth kiss.

“Gods, I missed you,” Cregan murmurs against your lips.

You smile and don’t wait a minute before beginning to tear apart all the clothes off his body. He kisses you more fiercely after whilst he slides his hands down your body to do the same thing you were.

The progress would be faster, but you can’t manage being a second without kissing. Once nothing remained though, he managed to pull away from you to look you up and down with a smirk on his face.

“You are breathtakingly beautiful,” he murmurs. “Have I told you that?”

“Once or twice,” you whisper before you push him to the bed left inside the tower.

Cregan chuckles and before long you both don’t stop making love until dawn breaks out in the sky. The sun had just barely set when you got to the tower and now it’s rising. And you probably should’ve left when you were done, but you were both too dumbstruck, too swept up to move or talk. All you could do was stay in each other's arms until the sun snuck through the window.

“This is new and something you haven’t taken off,” Cregan points out and lazily lifts your finger off his chest.

You glance down and notice that he’s mentioning the ring Aemond gave you. “Oh,” you mumble and awkwardly slide your hand off his chest. “Uh, it was a gift. Sapphire ring with pearls around the stone.” You smile. “It’s my favorite.”

Damn, now guilt and regret is beginning to seep through your mind.

“Well it is very like you,” Cregan points out, making you share a breathless laugh. “But I think I have something you might like better.”

You blink in surprise and lift your head off his chest to look down at him. “I do like gifts. What is it?”

Cregan flashes you a grin and climbs off the bed naked, and you smile softly as you see his bare behind. He then bends down to look through his clothes that were thrown on the floor. And when he does seem to pull something out, he hides it behind as he approaches you on the bed, heightening your curiosity.

“It’s perhaps not as shiny as your big glimmering ring,” he says and sinks the bed again as he climbs on. “But it’s something I know you love.” Cregan comes to a stop before you sprawled on the bed, and pulls his hand out from behind him to show off a single Blue Winter Rose. “For you.”

You push yourself up and can’t help your smile from widening as you take the rose from his hold. “Thank you,” you muse. “I love it.” You glance up at him and only share a brief soft look because then your guilt jabs at your heart.

“So,” Cregan presses and lays back down as you stay seated twirling the rose in your hand. “Are you going to talk about this Ser Jason?” He asks with obvious jealousy in his tone. “This man that gave you that pearl you fiddle with?”

You roll your eyes up and shoot him a teasing smile. “Well,” you give in. “He’s mine and Aerion’s sworn protector. The Queen thought it would be fit considering who my husband is.” You shrug. “He’s a friend—”

Cregan scoffs so you press your lips together and shoot him a questioning look. “What?” You ask.

Cregan sniffles and rests his arms on his chest to look as nonchalant as he can. “He’s not your friend. He’s your sworn protector. He works under you, he’s no friend. He talks to you because he has to.”

Your smile fades and you slowly place the rose down. “Well then I have no friends. My family is my family. You’re you, I have no friends.” You counter with annoyance.

Cregan pushes himself up and reaches for your hand, but you slowly pull away. “I did not mean it—”

“After I found out Aegon was crowned, that my grandfather passed and after I saw my sister die before she could take her first breath,” you scoff, “I watched the shore. Ser Jason didn't have to, but he spoke to me, he did. He talked about his travels, that he’s gone to Vaes Dothrak, Naath, all these beautiful places. He was the only one who tried to talk to me, tried to make me feel anything but my sadness. He didn’t have to, but he did. But I was a fool then.” You sigh and turn to climb off the bed.

“Y/N,” Cregan tries to stop you, but you just walk over to grab your undergarments off the floor. “Wait. If it’s company you seek, you need only tell me. I sent you letters. I tried to offer my condolences. You shut me out.”

You pull your undergarments up and sigh deeply before looking back. “If only there wasn’t so much standing between us, huh? Our lives would be different.” You snatch your gown off the ground and pull it up quickly, you then grab the blue winter rose off the bed and smile at him. “It was nice seeing you again Cregan.”

“Wait,” he interjects and reaches over to grab your wrist. “Just please stay a while longer.”

You reach over and caress his cheek with your thumb, you don’t kiss him again even if you have the temptation to, you just caress his cheek and smile before you leave him behind in the tower.

You didn’t get upset by what he said, annoyed sure, he has no reason to be jealous, you even hate when Aemond gets jealous. But this conversation gave you an excuse to leave, to make things tense for you so there’s not so much longing tension between you and him anymore. Your guilt and regret weren’t disappearing, they only heightened, so this was a perfect excuse to leave before you couldn’t and he just roped you in deeper.

——

*A FEW DAYS LATER*

“<Jacaerys, we can’t stay here anymore,>” you whisper to him sharply in High Valyrian so the passerbyers won't listen in. “<We need to go.>” Mostly because you can’t face Cregan a moment longer since that passionate night born out of anger, agony and betrayal.

Jacaerys glances around making sure no one is approaching before trying to argue against you. “<But you read the letter, we have to stay here a few days.>”

You scoff. “<It’s been a few days, mother needs us, I want to see my son. We’re still at war Jacaerys.>”

“I know that,” he interjects sharply in the common tongue. “Don’t you think I know that? Lucerys is dead because of them, I know we’re at war, but Lord Stark has not attempted to act even if he said he would, we need to stay, I don’t want to return home empty handed. But you may leave if you wish.”

You sigh to calm down to try and assure his insecurity that is not even right. “Jace,” you whisper.

However, footsteps approach, causing you to stop talking and look to the entrance of the Godswood. And of course it’s Cregan.

“Prince, Princess,” he greets the moment he spots you both.

You exhale and offer him a tight lipped smile before you avert his gaze.

“I've been looking for you,” he adds. “To speak on matters of battle.” His footsteps hit the ground as he approaches the both of you. “I’ll send bannermen soon. But I unfortunately cannot go as of yet. Winter is almost here, I need to attend to my people’s needs first before I ride off.”

Oh thank the gods, any more time here and you’ll probably combust.

“Very well then,” you let Jacaerys do the talking. “The Queen is grateful. But we do hope we will see you in battle Lord Stark, the men will need encouragement, and the Queen will appreciate your support.”

“Yes, I do plan to join as well. Once my duties are done here,” Cregan assures him.

Jacaerys let’s out a deep sigh and his feet shift before you feel his eyes land on you. “Well it seems you get your wish sister, we can leave now.”

“So soon?” Cregan cuts in with his own gaze on you too.

You nod and only spare him a quick glance before you speak. “Yes, well, our own duties need attending. I miss my son, the time I spent here has been the longest I have been away from him.”

Cregan hums softly. “Well, then thank you so much for traveling all this way, and give my condolences to the Queen. I know we will all see each other again even if it will be in the battlefield.”

You smile softly but keep averting your gaze—Who cares if you’re making it obvious to him that you’re avoiding him, it was a mistake lying with him, it’s not the same as when you were just promised to another.

“And thank you Lord Stark for your hospitality,” Jacaerys interjects and you know he’s smiling at Cregan genuinely. “For your kindness in our grief. Loyalty like yours and your peoples is truly a rare thing, thank you for that.”

He expects you to give your thanks now. Fuck.

“As my brother said, thank you Lord Stark, your loyalty will never be forgotten.” You bow your head and only meet his gaze to add one last thing. “Until we see each other again.”

Cregan nods and lifts his lips to a small smile, but you know he’s trying to understand if your emotions had softened after how you left things. He would ask and apologize, give you the comfort you seeked. However, the moment you broke away from your spot to walk to your dragons past the gates, Jacaerys didn’t ever leave your side. Cregan waited for a moment, but everything you needed was already packed on your dragon, and Jacaerys brought nothing with him he needed to fetch from inside. So he was just left wondering with apologies and sweet words left in his mouth, and he was also left wondering what would happen now?

Will you still send letters? Or would you just forget he exists?

All he was left to do with what he did have, was wait for a moment that your hands would touch one last time, but the only one who said goodbye again was Jacaerys. You just quickly looked at him as if you were nothing but strangers before you mounted your purple dragon. No last smile, no lingering stare, you just ascended to the sky, leaving him to watch your retreating figure.

You felt bad for it, terrible, but it was for the best because if you did meet him in the eye for too long you would remember that night, how loved he made you feel. You would think even more of your guilt for betraying Aemond. Because now besides your grief, confusion and anger about who killed your brother, guilt also made itself a cozy home in your mind as well, so it was better if you just left Cregan as if you were nothing but strangers.

Not like it helped though, you thought of it all the entire flight back to Dragonstone, everything was a constant battle driving you mad. You felt like yelling at the top of your lungs to relieve yourself of some stress, but Jacaerys was flying beside you. As you approached home, you felt like flying directly to King’s Landing to demand answers from Aemond, to ask him why it had to be him who killed Lucerys, why he chose to betray you in the worst way possible.

But, you don’t end up turning to King’s Landing no matter how much you want to see Aemond, you just fly home with your brother. And the moment Astraea circles the castle, all your thoughts drift to Aerion; how he was and if he was still here. You didn’t even bother waiting for Jacaerys to land or climb off his dragon, you didn’t greet your mother first you just beelined towards the children’s chambers.

Nevertheless, he wasn’t amongst his little uncles.

Did they come and take him and your mother didn’t let you know?

She would’ve sent a raven though. She would’ve…

Quickly, and with panic completely taking over every other thought you go in search of your mother. Thankfully you find her in her chambers.

“Mother,” you breathe out with no greeting, you just barge in. “Where’s Aerion?”

Your mother turns completely to face you.

“I went to the children’s chambers and he wasn’t there, nor is Vanessa, is he okay?” You ask before she can even attempt to answer.

“Yes,” your mother finally assures you. “Lord Corlys and the Princess Rhaenys have taken him to shore for a walk.”

You sigh in relief and turn to go to him. However, when you make it past the doors you turn back around on your heels and quickly rush to your mother to embrace her.

“I,” your voice quivers as Lucerys comes back to mind. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Your mother returns your embrace and presses a kiss on the top of your head. “You are not at fault. You are not your husband. Don’t apologize.”

You pull back and slide your hands down to grab hers. “Then I’m sorry for your loss mother….” You trail off as tears break out of your eyes.

Your mother sniffles as she holds back her tears and lifts her hands to cups your cheeks and wipe the tears off your face. “Thank you, my Sweet. I’m happy to see you back home, I worried.”

You offer her a kind smile and caress the back of her hand with your thumb. “I’ll come back. Okay? I need to see Aerion.”

Your mother nods and lets you go, letting you now return to your previous objective. But since the way to shore is far from the castle it does take you a dreadful moment, but it’s all worth it when you see the little head of silver-white curls. All you know now is happiness and utter relief.

“The Princess Y/N Velaryon,” Ser Jason announces, causing you to finally notice him standing guad of your son. You were so focused on the baby that you hadn’t even seen him. Now that you do, you can’t help but offer him a kind smile.

Ser Jason bows his head and breaks that nonchalant mask to offer you a faint smile.

“Princess,” the voice of your grandfather snaps your attention to him carrying Aerion. “It’s a pleasure seeing you back home.”

You smile at him and glance at his cane. “It’s a relief seeing you down here recuperating. How are you doing?”

“Everyday a little better thank the gods.” He says kindly.

You hum and drift your gaze to your grandmother. “It’s a pleasure seeing you too, grandmother. I hope your patrol went well.”

She nods. “It did. Thank you, Princess.”

You hum softly and finally focus on your son, noticing now that his eyes are wide with glee, and his lips are pulled to a beaming grin as he kicks his feet and reaches his chubby little arms out for you.

“Aerion,” you greet and close the gap between you to take him in your arms. “My sweet boy.” You hug him against you and take in his baby scent. “Oh how I’ve missed you,” you coo before you press a kiss on the side of his head.

Aerion squeals as continues to kick and squirm gleefully. You laugh at the sound he made and press another kiss on his head.

“The poor lad has been indoors all week,” your grandfather interjects, making you meet his gaze. “We thought he could breathe some fresh air, meet the sea.”

“Thank you,” you tell him softly. “And he does love the water, he falls asleep quicker by the sound of crashing waves.” You face Aerion and direct your question at him, “don’t you?”

Aerion grins and throws his hands on your face and just squeezes your cheeks.

“I hope he was well?” You ask and glance at the couple.

“He was,” your grandmother assures you. “He's a sweet boy. Sad a bit because he missed his mother, but you’re here now.”

You grin and playfully scrunch your nose at Aerion, making him squeal.

“Princess, I know this is ill timing, but with this war in play, and with me not the man I used to be,” your grandfather interjects in a much more serious tone. “I wanted to discuss the inheritance of the Driftwood Throne.”

Your smile fades and you slowly face him.

“Your son, the Prince Aerion, is a Velaryon just as much as he is Targaryen, he is of Laenor’s blood. Salt runs through the little prince's veins just as much as yours. Which is why I want the Driftwood throne to pass to him, I want him to inherit Driftmark after my passing.”

Lucerys had no children to pass his inheritance to, but there is still Joffrey.

“But,” you rebuttal. “What of my brother, the Prince Joffrey? He is a Velaryon too. He is next in line.”

You aren’t stupid, you know why they want Aerion to be heir over your brother, Joffrey is a bastard, you aren’t. So without turning a blind you are the only child born to Laenor Velaryon, making your son the only legitimate heir to Driftmark. They don’t want a bastard on the Driftwood throne, now that Lucerys is gone they can hand it to whomever they want without raising suspicion.

“He is too young,” your grandfather argues.

You scoff. “Aerion is not even one yet.”

“No, but if I were to pass next week Prince Joffrey wouldn’t be ready, you would,” he says and steps towards you. “You would rule as regent until Aerion comes of age.”

Regent?

“Your father would want this,” your grandfather continues. “I want this.”

The offer tempts you. The offer of power tempts you. You just want control of your life, that’s all you’ve ever wanted, if you were to be regent you would get a taste of it.

“What does the Queen say?” You bring up the other concern.

“It’s been approved by her,” he assures you.

You blink out of disbelief and glance at your grandmother for reassurance.

Without hesitation your grandmother offers you a small smile and that reassuring nod is all you need.

“Of course when Aerion ascends, his name will change from Targaryen to Velaryon so our line doesn’t not end.”

If you see Aemond again you’ll make him to terms with that change. Then again you know that he probably won’t fuss considering what is being given to your son. Yet one concern resides.

“With this war now in play,” you interject. “The sides are clearly drawn, and my husband fights against us. No matter how much he may love his son he will not abandon his family, and I…still have my duty to him, so I ask, if I were to stand beside my husband does that harm Aerion’s inheritance?”

Your grandfather sighs deeply. “No,” he answers without thinking. “At the end of this only one side will sit that throne, whether it be your mother or Aegon, your son will still inherit regardless. And if you were to stand by your husband tomorrow and you are regent, then I know you will fight for what’s right. You have a good and mighty heart, I know that to be true.”

You smile softly at him and then smile at Aerion. “You hear that? You are now the heir to Driftmark, my Little Dragon.”

Aerion coos before he shares a gleeful squeal.

“You accept then?” Your grandfather asks.

You meet his gaze with a small smirk and nod. “I do.”

——

*LATER*

Little time was spent resting after a long flight, Jacaerys demanded to know what had been happening during your absences. Most importantly he wanted to know what would be done for revenge.

“If we attack head first we lose,” your mother argues. “Daemon has taken Harrenhal without a fight, we hold the Riverlands like he wanted, we have that advantage.”

“But we won’t hold it forever,” Lord Staunton inputs. “Nor Can your sons death go unavenged.”

“No,” your grandfather interjects. “But now Prince Aemond will forever be tainted with the name Kinslayer, a worthy punishment for now.”

You sigh and lower your gaze, knowing that wandering stares drift to you, the wife of the…Kinslayer. They won’t dare judge you in front of your mother the Queen, but you know that your loyalty has been put to question.

“A son for a son,” your mother interjects stiffly. “Lucerys will be avenged, that is what Daemon said.”

You lift your gaze and narrow your eyes on her with terror that upsets your stomach. She catches your horror and quickly reaches for your hand before you can question the threat.

“Aerion is my grandson, he will not be harmed ever. Daemon knows that, and he wouldn't dare touch him regardless of who his father is.”

You hold no love for her husband, he promised that no one would touch Aerion, but that was before Lucerys died. What about now? He killed your father with ease, you know that, you feel it to be true. He’ll have no trouble killing Aerion, the son of Aemond.

“No one will touch Aerion,” your grandfather adds. “Not unless they want to make enemies of the Lord of the Tides.”

You quickly glance at him and try to offer him a thankful smile, but you notice his gaze is on your mother. He wouldn’t dare make any threats, she is the Queen, but his look served as a warning more so to her husband who wasn’t here anymore.

“Daemon may plot his revenge as he likes,” your mother says. “He will not touch Aerion, of that you can be assured of.”

You meet her gaze and nod in comprehension, but your worry still lingers.

“Reports have come from King’s Landing,” Maester Gerardys says. “It’s being said that Aegon threw a feast for Prince Aemond’s actions.”

Sounds like him. You don’t concern yourself with that though, it’s disgusting, but Aegon looks for any excuse to drown in his cups, besides Aemond isn’t one to really take joy in feasts.

“Ravens have come in from King’s Landing in your absence Princess y/n,” the Maester says and grabs the small stock of scrolls off the table and walks around the long table to hand them to you.

You offer him a thankful smile and don’t even have to ask who they’re from, the only who would write is Aemond.

“What of patrols?” Jacaerys asks. “How can I help?”

“You won’t,” your mother answers rather straightforward. “Neither you, nor your sister. You will remain here leave the patrols to others, there are still battles to be fought, you will fight in those.” That and she probably doesn’t want to risk your lives anymore than she has to now that Lucerys is gone. Yet you wish you could at least do something, sitting in silence will only let your thoughts run wild.

“What of the riderless dragons?” You bring up. “Have we found a solution for that?”

Your mother presses her hands against the table and sighs. “Dragonseeds,” she says. “It is no lie that through the years that the Targaryens have reigned Dragonstone, that those before us have fathered many dragonseeds. We will find our riders amongst them.”

“Even then will any want to risk their lives trying to claim one?” Lord Celtigar asks.

“No,” you input. “At least not without reward, a promise.” You sigh. “We can promise them Knightship, riches, even small lands, something that will make this risk worth taking. Of course they will only be granted it once they bond with one.”

Those around the table hum in agreement, it’s only Jacaerys that interjects in support. “Baela and I can spread the word, rally them here once they’ve volunteered.”

You glance at Baela beside you and share a supportive smile. Albeit it’s your mother who hesitates, but only for a moment because she knows that it’s a necessity considering her sons, and your own are far too young to even bond with one and fight at your side. “Very well then.”

The rest of the meeting is spent talking about strategy, and plans, tasks that needed to be done that you couldn’t partake in. Once it’s done you don’t wait to reach your chambers to read what Aemond wrote.

But you should’ve known, it’s all demands to return home, to stop what you’re doing and swear loyalty to Aegon. He writes of promises that you will suffer no consequences, he even offered his help in case you were for some reason captive. If things were different you would have swooned, but things aren’t different, instead you’re upset and in no mood to write back.

He hadn’t even mentioned what he did, but it also seems like he stopped writing after what happened. Will he forget about you again? Just like he did those years back?

It will make things easier, but now your heart is also too entangled with his not to care.

Ugh!

“Ser Jason,” you break your silence and peer back at the knight.

“Yes, Princess,” he answers right away.

You sigh and turn your head further back. “indulge me. If you had a partner at opposite sides of the war you’re fighting, what would you do?”

The silver headed knight lets out a deep sigh and glances down for a moment. “I suppose, I mean I don’t mean to trouble your mind, but I would stand by my wife. But if push came to shove and if she’s wrong I would stand my ground…Love can make us blind, foolish, but even still we can’t let it control or manipulate us.”

You blink in disbelief to his words as you hum in comprehension.

“Not that you should stand by your husband. Follow what you think is right princess,” he blurts out.

You smile at him and assure him. “I know what you meant, Ser. I’m thankful for your opinion and for your lovely words.”

Ser Jason mirrors your smile.

His words are kind, it reminds you of what you stand for even if it means standing against Aemond. Even if you still seek an explanation.

Now though, there’s something that still troubles you. The terror from before passed, but your stomach is still upset as if you want to puke everything out. Plus your head is beginning to ache now too.

Perhaps it’s stress? You need to lie down. Sleep for a day or two.

That would be nice.

——

*A COUPLE DAYS LATER*

“Princess a raven came from King’s Landing,” the maester lets you know.

You turn away from the balcony and take the scroll from him. “Thank you, Maester.”

Said man bows his head and leaves, letting you turn the scroll to see a three headed dragon mark the wax on the parchment. It's surprising that Aemond is sending you a letter after what he did, you thought he’d purposely forget about you.

“Do you want to know what your father said?” You ask the infant in your arms.

The baby blows a raspberry from his mouth and smiles at himself.

You can’t help smiling softly at him before you break the wax and unscroll the parchment in your hand. And as you predicted it’s Aemond. You recognize his impeccably nice handwriting.

“Y/N,

I write perhaps in vain, mayhaps you already know the tragedy that unfolded. I’ve been told that you probably had knowledge of what would happen, but I don’t believe those despicable lies, you aren’t cruel, you never have been. You might know now what happened, but I still write to tell you that Prince Jaehaerys was slaughtered in front of my sister Helaena…”

A gasp escapes past your lips, and it’s as if someone has taken the heart from your chest. Your shoulders stiffen, and tears don’t fret to cloud in your eyes.

“…The murderers were street rats, but there was only one person who sent them, Daemon. The same man who killed your father. I know that you probably never want to see me again, but I still wanted to let you know of the people you’re siding with.

Aemond.”

You blink repeatedly and even if you stand outside on the balcony it feels like you can’t breathe, the horror of what you just read leaves your mind clear of any thoughts. Everything around you blurs and no sound besides the sound of your blood pumping can be heard. And once again your stomach churns leaving you nauseous.

He was a child, he was a baby. And Helaena? Oh gods, the poor girl.

But him? He was just an innocent baby around the same age as your brother Aegon. How could they—how could Daemon do this?

Does your mother know? Did she not tell you?

Once again Daemon is proving to be a demon rather than a step-father, or a man you can trust. First your father and now little Jaehaerys?

Your mom told you that Daemon said he’d get revenge, but you thought he’d want to kill Aegon, Daeron, or Aemond, but the child? A baby?!

The greens may be cruel, they were cruel to your mother, to your siblings and you, but killing a child in front of their mother? They never did that. And how can you support that? Especially if your mother knew about it and did nothing to stop it.

Yet you can’t know from here, so before she can be surrounded by Lords wanting her attention, you give Aerion to Vanessa. “Get Wolf and get ready to leave,” you let her know.

Your handmaiden doesn’t question your command and nods in comprehension, letting you storm out and march to your mothers chambers with your letter in hand. Thankfully you find her there with just Aegon and Viserys. “Mother,” you greet coldly. “I need to speak to you,” you deadpan.

Said woman immediately reads the troubled demeanor you carry and sends the children away with her handmaidens. “What upsets you so?” She asks sweetly.

You swallow thickly and unroll the scroll, you don’t read the contents it has, you just glance at it with tears filling your eyes before you throw out your response. “Daemon had Jaehaerys killed. I just found out from Aemond. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Your mothers smile fades and she blinks repeatedly in disbelief. Not to what you just shared, but the anger laced in your voice.

“I only found out about the boy passing just yesterday,” she says.

Yesterday?

“Nothing is to be done about it?” You ask as you watch her try to approach you. “He was a baby. Innocent to this war, innocent to what happened to Lucerys. Why are you not uspet?”

“I am, but what is done is done,” she says as she tries to grab your arm, but you step back in horror. “They killed Lucerys.”

“And it doesn’t matter!” You exclaim. “Then you kill Daeron, or-or Aemond, but you don't kill a child. He was a child, mother!” Tears roll down your cheeks and your heart begins to pound.

“I don’t like that he sent that order,” your mother interjects with just the same amount of disbelief over the way you’re arguing with her. “I know it’s wrong, but it’s done. Leave it be. Please.”

You press your lips together and sniffle as you nod to what she’s saying, but you still hold so much anger and resentment towards Daemon. “You’re not angry at him?” You ask a question that holds a lot of significance.

She sees that you’re upset, but she doesn’t understand what that question can lead to, so she answers truthfully. “Daemon has a mind of his own. I know he’s brash, I know your indifference with him, but he did what he had to do for Lucerys, and for us to win this war. I can’t be mad at him.”

Of course. Of course she can’t.

“It’s the same as when he killed father,” you mutter with your gaze averted. “You didn't care and married him anyway.” You lift your watery gaze to meet hers and wait for her response, but she hesitates for a second too long.

She seemed to have been angry that you dared say that to her, but it passes quickly and instead she fills with pity and this other look you see when she hesitates, a look that lets you know what you were so blind to before.

“You knew?” Your voice quivers.

Your mother finally steps forward and grabs your shoulder, you stand so stiff under her hold that you don’t dare move. You can’t.

“Daemon didn’t kill your father,” she tries to assure you, but it was too late. “It was Ser Qarl. You know that.”

You scoff. “Fine, let's say I believe it was Ser Qarl, but it was still him. It was still Daemon who ordered father to be killed, just like he ordered Jaehaerys to be killed. Is it true or not? Tell me please. Tell me the truth and I’ll stay here, I’ll fight with you…but if you lie to me I'm leaving…I-I can’t support what he did. Lucerys wouldn’t either. Please mama, tell me.”

Your mother swallows thickly and holds back tears of her own that begin to cloud her eyes. She then slides her hand down your arm to cradle both of your hands in hers. She parts her lips to speak, but nothing comes out for a second, she then licks her lips and leans towards you to whisper. “Daemon didn’t kill your father, he didn’t order anyone to kill him. That’s the truth.”

She lied. She lied to you….

No matter how much you love her, no matter how much your anger isn’t at her, you can’t stay and support what happened.

“Okay,” you breathe out and let her hold your hands for a few minutes as you try to think of a good farwell.

“I love you mother,” you assure her. “I need you to know that.” You meet her gaze and let your tears stream down your face. “None of my anger—at least not all of it is towards you. I promise to stay out of any battle that’s against any of you, I won’t side with them, whatever happens I want you to sit on that throne. You are my Queen no matter what is said…”

“Y/N,” she tries to stop you. “Don’t—”

“But I can't support what happened. That easily could’ve been Aerion, he would’ve done it without remorse. And I can’t stand here and hear you lie to me. I’m leaving.” You finish saying and just offer her one last soft smile before you slide your hands away from her hold and turn to walk out.

“Y/N wait!” She tries to call out, but you keep walking away.

As the doors open though, out in the hall stands your brother Jacaerys. He had heard your mother pleading, now he sees her trying to chase after you, he notices her distress and your tears and takes over for your mother in trying to pursue you.

“What are you doing?” He demands to know.

You let out a soft painful groan as a dull cramp radiates on your lower stomach, but you proceed to ignore it and just throw out a short answer. “I’m leaving.”

Jacaerys catches up to your side and presses. “What do you mean?”

“I can’t stand for what Daemon did, Jacaerys, that easily could’ve been Aerion,” you say quickly. “I can’t just pretend he didn’t do what he did either. And the fact that she lied about it. I can’t stay here.”

“You’re upset you’re not thinking rationally,” Jacaerys argues. “You need to just sit and think about it. You can’t leave, mother needs you.”

You finally come to a halt and face him. He hadn’t caught your actions right away so he comes to a skidding stop.

“Like I told her,” you repeat yourself softer. “She is my Queen. I won’t fight against any of you, but I can’t just stay here and pretend that what happened is okay. Jaehaerys was a baby.” You shake your head. “He was innocent. I want justice for Lucerys, but there was other ways. Other people.”

Another dull pain shoots your lower stomach, but you keep ignoring it.

“I won’t make mother choose between him and I,” you continue to say. “She needs him. I have to admit that, so I’m leaving.” You draw out a deep breath and continue towards your chambers. “I’ll spread a good word. I’ll do what I can from the shadows.”

Jacaerys footsteps echo on the stone floor as he proceeds to follow after you. “You aren't leaving this damn island,” he sneers.

You scoff and stop again, however, just as you turn and face him that dull pain hits you so sharply that it makes you lose your balance, it has your sight blur, and the sounds around you don’t even register in your head. Jacaerys rushes to your side the moment you began to fall, but you didn't even remember about him until he’s standing you up.

“Fetch the maester! And someone get the Qu—”

“No,” you cut your brother off. “She’ll just make me stay. Just leave her out of this. Please.”

Jacaerys gaze pierces in you, but you don’t change your mind, you still don’t want to stay.

“Fine, don’t alert the Queen,” he tells the guards. “But if I get scolded for this because of you.”

You let out a quiet breathless laugh and nod. “I’ll take the blame. You tell her it was me. I’ll be gone by then so what can she do?”

You make it your quarters and the moment Jacaerys helps you on the bed, Ser Jason rushes in with the maester.

“What happened?” Maester Gerardys asks as he studies you.

You part your lips, but Jacaerys beats you to answer. “My sister collapsed, I think she might’ve gotten dizzy. I don’t know. I heard her complaining since she left the Queen's chambers.”

You drag your gaze to Jacaerys and shoot him a pointed look.

“All right,” the maester says and approaches you. “Ser please fetch the Queen—”

“No,” you blurt again. “Ser Jason, stay your hand. Just help me, maester. You may tell the Queen after…she’s busy with other things. We’ll worry her about this later.”

The knight hesitates as he debates whether to listen to you or not. On one hand your mother is his Queen, and someone he’s sworn to, but on the other he is your protector, the guard she appointed to you, you’re also his friend.

“Please Ser,” you insist.

Ser Jason meets your gaze and then nods in agreement.

You shoot him a small smile before he turns and goes to stand his post outside the door, letting you once again drift your attention to the maester who didn’t argue against your demands.

“Tell me about your pain,” he says as he falls by your bedside.

You swallow thickly and recall what you’ve felt. “The pain was dull, it started when I was with my mother. We were arguing. It got worse after. It’s on my lower stomach.”

The maester hums and nods. “Any vomit. Fever?”

You shake your head. “No. I’ve felt nauseous, and dizzy as of late. That’s it.”

Maester Gerardys looks at you for a lingering moment as if he came to a realization before he shuffles back. “When was the last time you bled Princess?”

You think of the question and avert your gaze to think. “I…perhaps last month. Ever since Aerion was born it’s been quite irregular. But it was last month when I bled normally.” You glance at Jacaerys and notice his discomfort.

“All right, well may I?” The maester asks and points to your belly.

You blink and look down and finally begin to realize what this all can be about. “Yes, of course,” you whisper.

The maester gently presses your belly, he slides his hand to the side and presses harder, and your own heart begins to race as its all coming together.

All these weird symptoms have happened after you returned from Winterfell. Not before…maybe before? It has to be before.

“Now may I feel your breasts?”

You glance at your brother, and he quickly turns away to face the wall. “Of course,” you assure maester Gerardys.

The maester carefully feels your breasts. He doesn’t take long, but once he’s done he steps back and offers you a gentle smile. “Congratulations Princess, it seems you are with child.”

Your eyes widen and you can’t mirror his happiness. “How far along?” You ask in disbelief, catching Jacaerys own happy smile from the corner of your eyes as he turns to face the scene again.

Maester Gerardys sighs. “Not far. Based on your last bleeding, less than a month. A few weeks, it’s hard to tell now. I’ll check back in a few more weeks and be more knowledgeable. It seems you were just under a bit of stress, it affects the babe as well so early on. I would recommend relaxing, take it easy princess. Please.”

You still can’t help your smile as you nod in comprehension. “Yes thank you maester. You may leave now.”

Maester Gerardys bows his head and walks out. Once the door closes behind him, Jacaerys walks where you can see him and grins. “Congratulations, sister. That’s happy news.”

Except it isn’t. The baby can be Cregan’s, it all adds up. It’s been long enough for you to feel symptoms already even if it’s only been a couple of weeks. It can be his—

But it isn’t. It can’t be. You fucked Aemond the day you left, it can be is, you didn’t bleed at all while you were at Winterfell. It is his.

It is.

“I’m still leaving,” you brush Jacaerys off and climb off your bed to meet up with Vanessa, Aerion and your cat. “I can’t stay here. Especially not anymore.”

“Y/N wait just stay for tonight, sleep on it,” Jacaerys pleads.

You sigh deeply and turn to step towards him and grab his shoulders. “I love you brother. I’ve been meaning to say it since we heard about Lucerys, but I’ve never found the time. You are the best brother I could have asked for. You will make a great King, I know it. But you must understand my reasons. Please. I will stand down from every fight against any of you. I will pray for mothers success every night, but I can’t stay. Okay?” You wrap him in an embrace you need to comfort yourself over your new baby troubles.

“We’ll see each other again when mother takes the throne back,” you whisper. “I know it. Now goodbye and good fortune on all your battles to come.” You pull back and smile at him. “I’ll write if I can to let you and mother know how the babe is growing. Take care.”

Jacaerys looks at you with the need to argue more, but he doesn’t, he doesn’t want to stress you out either, so he just nods and gives in. “Fine, do as you wish. Just be careful. Swear?”

You shoot him a grin and nod. “I swear,” you promise. You linger in each other presences for a while longer until you turn around and head to the children’s quarters. Before you can walk in though, the shadow behind you speaks.

“Are you truly leaving?”

You slowly face Ser Jason and meet his gaze as you nod. “Yes…why? Will you stop me?”

Ser Jason scoffs. “No. You may do as you wish. I can’t stop you. I’m only your protector. I can’t advise you of anything either, not as your protector.”

Your smile widens. “And as my friend?” You probe.

Ser Jason lets out a deep sigh and his shoulders relax a little. “Go. If it’s your heart's desire then go. Regret makes for a conflicted soul.”

You blink in slight disbelief and find his saying very interesting.

“And you are too beautiful to deal with such troubles—“ he cuts himself off and his eyes widen as he seems to catch what he said to you. “I mean not beautiful, I mean you are beautiful I just meant—” he pauses and clears his throat, and you smile wider—“Your soul is too much of a precious and beautiful thing to be tainted by such darkness.”

Your smile softens and your face begins to grow warm. “Thank you, Ser Jason...” You pause and hold his gaze for a moment before you look down at your ring and smirk. “When we see each other again will you tell me who your father is? The curiosity has been eating at me.” You blink and meet his gaze.

Ser Jason snorts and nods. “Yes, I will. When we see each other again.”

Your smile slowly turns to a sweet grin. “When we see each other again,” you repeat before you turn into the children’s quarters. “Are you ready?” You ask Vanessa as she holds a sleeping Aerion, and has Wolf strapped to her back in a small wooden crate.

“Yes princess, we’re ready,” she assures you.

You sigh deeply. “Let’s go back to King’s Landing then,” you mumble quietly.

The baby is Aemond‘s, it has to be—no it is…it is his…fuck.

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Tagged- @namelesslosers @stargaryenx @chainsawsangel @lauftivy @winxschester @cloudroomblog @llarue @padsdarlg @sofietargaryen @gracielikegrapes @dreaming-of-the-reality @itzelpeyton @patdsinner33 @mrsdominickstark @elaena-aerrin

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