#and then now for my MA graduation... i'm not going to be there in person anyways but for pictures

[songbirdseung]

blurred hearts / park sunghoon ft. sim jake

synopsis: I can't wait for the next life to be with you, i want you now and forever. what can I do to have you see me the way you see him?

pairing: bestfriend!sunghoon x reader, boyfriend!jake x reader, love triangle

warnings: one sided love, relationship troubles, lmk if i missed anything.

wc: 2.3k

masterlist

Your upset best friend, Park Sunghoon hangs up the phone for the third time this week. You called late at night to ramble, rant and cry about your boyfriend who has not been the best towards you these days. The other days of the week were spent face to face, you; running over to his house to ramble, rant, and cry about the same thing. With the messy emotions boiling within you, you fail to notice the same messy whirlpool of emotions swimming in Sunghoon; the man who remains stuck in the friendzone.

"Why don't you just break up with him?" He says as he hands you another box of tissues. "You don't understand, I love him."

"You'd know how it would feel if you loved someone the same way I love Jake." He looks at you as you wipe your tears, seeing you in this state for a past few weeks has given him another reminder why he wants to protect and care for you.

"I do love someone, maybe even more than the way you love Jake" Oh, how he wished he could cast a spell over you to stop crying over your boyfriend and wake up and see what was right next to you, him, Sunghoon.

"Who's that?" This time you actually stop and look at him for the first time again since you opened the door for him. He shakes his head indicating how he won't tell you. "I did not come here to discuss my love life while yours is in shambles." and with what he said, you start crying again, lightly shoving him "Then why did you say it, gosh I hate you." Not effected by your emotional and physical jab, he laughs it off and pulls you into a hug "I love you too."

Back at his house, he knew you were right. It doesn't matter if the odds are not in your favor, it doesn't matter if the other person is hurting you emotionally, if you love them...you stay because apparently love is blind.

Sunghoon lays in his bed as he tries to fall asleep, his head turns to the left to look at the picture frame with a photo of you and him during your vacation after high school graduation.

The two of you got permission from both of your parents to go to Switzerland together, you traveled for the first time, just you two. Luckily you did not get lost or had any bad experiences and made yourselves back home in one piece. The picture reminded him always of that core memory you two had but also reminded him of when the kind lady who took the picture for you calling you two a cute couple, you were about to correct her, but Sunghoon just said thank you and joked about how he can't wait to marry you when you both are older.

Sighing as he turned off the lamp, bitterly going to sleep as he realizes that that may never happen, as long as you're under Sim Jake's love spell.

He's sleeping alone with his weighted blanket while you were cuddled up with your boyfriend. Jake was always the cookie cutter, picture perfect, straight out of a rom com (written by a woman) type of man.

The past week just seemed like an off day for you both, a misunderstanding and conflict that caused you to keep running to your best friend. "I'm sorry for the past week baby, I did not mean to make you feel the way you did." Jake soothes you by caressing your back as you lay you head on his chest. "I'm sorry for projecting my work issues on you, I don't know why I let myself do that."

"It's okay, I totally understand. I mean I would get mad at anyone too if my boss was a complete asshole." You both share a chuckle and Jake kisses your forehead, falling asleep to each other's warmth and presence.

The next day after work, you made your way to the main exit of the building and you find both of the men waiting for you outside, leaning against their cars. "I didn't know you and douchebag made up" Sunghoon was never fond of Jake, he would tell you how he could see pass his "good boy" facade, Jake on the other hand never understood how Sunghoon could hate him when they barely exchanged a few hellos back then. "Dude, I-" you walk up to Jake quickly asking him to just leave it. "Baby, don't. It's okay, He didn't mean it."

"Yes, I did." Sunghoon says, not sparing a glance at the both of you. "Sunghoon, why are you here? and what's with the attitude?"

"I thought to pick you up since you and lover boy were not on good terms, but I guess you two made up." He tries to play off the jealousy by shrugging and having a nonchalant look on his face as he enters his car. "See you around, yeah?" Without waiting for a reply he drives away.

"That best friend of yours really hates me" Jake draws little circles on your back as he pulls you closer for a hug. "I guess after all the times you've made me cry the past week, it's safe to say, yes he does."

He laughs, looking unbothered by it "As long as you're always gonna be mine" he says as he opens the passenger side door for you. "Always."

The car ride home was better than the last time he picked you up, now there was less tension and back to normal. His free hand holding yours while stealing kisses from you during a red light or a stop sign. "Why don't we head to the store, pick up a few things and drive home to have a game night?" Jake suggested. "Let's make sure this game night, stays as game night, alright lover boy" teasing him with the nickname Sunghoon called him earlier. "You know the name Loverboy doesn't bother me, love." shaking your head, you just continue to watch Jake drive you both to the store safely.

Meanwhile back at the bar, Sunghoon is seated next to his friends Heeseung and Jay. "You know, Sunghoon...I hate to say this but-"

"Shut up, I know you're gonna tell me I don't have a shot with yn"

"Oh, so you do know but still decide to be an idiot?"

"We might as well record our same old advice and you could replay it every time you're back in this situation." He rolls his eyes and shoves Jay's face away from his. "You guys are such 'great' friends" the other men laugh and nudge Sunghoon. "We are only joking but also, it's the truth man, I know you like her a lot but she's happy with Jake."

"Also, he's not that bad of a guy, I used to work with him." Heeseung shares a short story on Jake. But this doesn't change Sunghoon's outlook on him. "Clearly jealousy is clouding your judgment" Jay takes away the drink from Sunghoon and reminding him he has work tomorrow.

"Wait, have you ever tried confessing to yn?" He shakes his head, telling them how it was clear that you never liked him. "Really? I remember her telling me in college that she had a crush on you when we were in-" not caring about the rest of Jay's story, he books it out of the bar and heads to your house. "Great, you made him delulu, thinking he can pull her now" Heeseung and Jay laugh seeing their friend stumble out the chair and run to his car.

Yes, he was still sober, but he was drunk on you. As he drives, he's thinking about all those times back in college, wondering if you really had a crush on him back then. But as he pulls into your driveway, he spots Jake's car in the garage, oh how lovely.

Nonetheless, he's at your door, ringing the doorbell. "Hello how-" Jake's sentence was cut short once he sees who's at the door. "I need to talk to yn" Sunghoon enters your house, not looking at Jake and just makes his way over to you. "Okay..." Jake awkwardly closes the door and goes over to you.

"Woah, Sunghoon what are you doing here?"

"He said he wanted to talk to you, So, I'll give you to some privacy. I'll be in the room, love." Kissing you and walking away. To this, Sunghoon looks away but rolls his eyes. Once he hears the bedroom door close, he jumps into action. Sitting next to you on the floor that was decorated with blankets, fairy lights, and snacks. The tv screen illuminated by the game you put on pause.

"Jay told me you had a crush on me back in college, that true?" You blink more than you usually do, bewildered on why that made him come over so suddenly. "Well, yeah but only for like a month?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" You think back to the time, and you remember the day you did see him in a different way. "I think it was just because I just got dump by that guy I was seeing, after that I kind of reminisced about how different you two would treat me." You looked at Sunghoon who was waiting for the direct explanation, so you continued. "You always treated me like a princess and reminded me how worthy I was, so I guess during that month I started developing feelings for you."

"And?"

"I didn't do anything about it because that same month, you started dating that one girl from your class." At this point, Sunghoon was now wishing he just stayed for the rest of Jay's story. "Why did you rush all the way here, also, were you drinking?"

"Maybe..I was with Jay and Heeseung."

"Answer my question.

"I did"

"The first question, Hoon"

"I don't remember what it was."

"Don't bs me, you're not drunk" He sighs and quickly thinks on an excuse to give you. "I was so curious, that's all, besides I was driving home, thought I stop by" you weren't convinced in the slightest, but you know there was no more budging this dude, so you nod and tell him whatever.

A little later Sunghoon goes back home, and Jake comes back into the living room. "What was that about?" Sitting back down in his spot and picking up his controller. "He found out I had a small crush on him back in college before you and I dated, he was curious..."

"Well, yeah the guy has a huge crush on you now, maybe he thought you were-"

"Wait what?"

"Oh, c'mon babe, it's so obvious." You pause the game again and face your boyfriend, waiting for more explanations. "I'm a dude, he's a dude, I basically know he likes you based off on how he acts, especially around me with you." Still not believing it, Jake suggests you call him, being direct and just ask him. So, you do, he hands you your phone and you dial his number.

When you call, Sunghoon has just entered his house and locked the door when he hears your ringtone. Picking up and he immediately wants to go run and hide. "Do you like me, Sunghoon?"

"Of course, you're my best friend. Of course-"

"Not platonically, Sunghoon. Do you have feelings for me?"

"What you gonna do if I do?"

As much as he wants you to drop that boyfriend of yours and be with him, he knows it too selfish to take you away from your happy relationship. But with the number of times where he put you first before his own self, was we wishing you would do so? "You know what, yn let's forget about it, I don't want to ruin what you have with Jake" then hangs up the phone. "So?" Jake looks at you with 'I told you so' look, making you glare at him. "He does..."

"You'll probably have to talk to him seriously next time you guys meet" this time when you pick up your controller, you don't have the same excitement you had before, now you're nervous and scared that you might have just lost your best friend. "I'm sorry I even brought that up, now you're in this predicament."

"No, babe. It's fine, it's better I find out than never."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to help him move on?" confused with your own answer that it came out as a question. "That'll be awkward."

And for sure it was, because the next two days Sunghoon manage to dodge you and hide away, but those victories of avoiding you ends now. You stand at his front door. With the help of Jay and Heeseung, you three manage to plan something to get him to come out of his house. Sunghoon got ready to meet Jay but when he opened the door to leave, he saw you. "We need to talk."

"What is there to talk about? Yn, you know now that I like you but there's nothing you can do about it." Sunghoon tries to walk past you to get to his car but when he looks in the driveway, his car isn't there. "Jay took your car but don't worry, you're coming with me." Taking his arm and bringing him to your car. "I don't understand how you say I can't do anything about it when-"

"It's not like you're going to break up with Jake to be with me yn, you love him. You don't love me that way, I can't just force you to." You stop walking and face him again. "I can't get you to fall for me by making moves on you because that's not fair to Jake and you. So please, just forget about it."

He gently removes your hand off him and fixes his jacket. "Just go home yn" you try to walk close to him, but he just backs up, away from you. "Sunghoon, I don't want to lose you."

"But yn, I already lost you years ago." He takes your silence a chance to retrieve back into his house and locking the door behind him. The barrier keeping you two apart.

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen au #engene #enha #enhypen x reader #jake #sunghoon #sim jake #park sunghoon #sim jaeyun #sunghoon au #enhypen sunghoon #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon imagines #enhypen jake #jake enhypen #jake sim imagines #jake sim x reader

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

with al being in the st play and no mention of wayne, i'm going to throw out my own modified hc for the munsons and how eddie came to live with wayne:

i still like eddie coming back to hawkins in middle school, so in my head al left hawkins as soon as he graduated/on some scheme, or just good ol' wanting to get out of his hometown.

his older brother wayne had dropped out of high school to go out on the road. their own dad being absent, someone had to provide for them...so wayne has been driving cross-country in a big rig, collecting mugs, sending hats back for his nephew from all the places he visits.

anyway! al left town, meets eddie's mom, she gets sick, al gets locked up, wayne takes eddie back to hawkins after eddie's mom dies.

he takes a silent eddie home to the one-bedroom trailer (why would wayne have needed more than one? he was always on the road), with nothing but a dufflebag and a single cardboard box tucked under the kid's lanky arms.

wayne gets a job in town at the plant, gives eddie the bedroom because of course he's going to, a boy needs his space after all.

he comes home early one morning to find the lights on in the bathroom, and the unmistakable buzzing of the clippers floating down the hall.

he comes around the doorway quietly to find eddie, his head of curls shorn clean off, tears in his eyes, but a soft smile on his lips as he watches himself shove a hat onto his head in the mirror above the sink.

he takes the cap off, turning to the box wayne can now see balanced on the edge of the tub, and returning with a different one, sliding it onto his unevenly stubbled scalp.

"What've you been up to, boy?" wayne says, surprising his nephew.

he forces himself to keep the smile on his face when eddie's horrified, startled expression jumps to him.

"Way--Uncle Wayne, I'm sorry, sorr--I just. I wanted--I just wanted to--" Eddie cuts himself off when wayne steps close, picking up the clippers and standing behind the kid.

wayne slides the cap off eddie's head and puts it on his own; it's one that he sent eddie back from that weird cave/lake place he stopped at down in tennessee, "Let's get you cleaned up, hm?"

eddie nods warily up at wayne's reflection, and he gets to work, cleaning up the bits of hair eddie couldn't quite reach.

wayne gets it, he does. did somethin' similar shortly after realizing it was going to be him that'll have to step up for al and their ma. got a shitty tattoo of a star on his shoulder by a shitty friend with a shitty needle.. just to feel like he had control of one thing in his own life...before everything he did was all for someone else.

he doesn't mind it all much anymore; he wants to be the person here for eddie. he wants to do everything he is physically capable of doing--and more--for his nephew.

eddie wanted the same thing. wanted control over one thing in his life. one thing that he did cause he wanted to, and not because of everything that's been happening around him (and to him) outside his control.

once finished, wayne clicks off the clippers, brushes some of the hairs from eddie's shoulders and head (scrubbing a little too hard just to see the kid smile and try to bat him away), finally placing the 'Lost Sea' cap back on his head. "There. All cleaned up now." he says into the mirror, resting his hands on the kid's shoulders. "Glad to see you kept all'a them." he says, tilting his chin to the box balanced on the tub.

eddie glances at the box full of hats and mumbles out a "Of course I did, you got them for me."

wayne's eyes start to burn, and eddie continues, not seeming to notice. "Hats aren't really for me, and my stupid hair always got in the way of me wearing 'em anyway but--" he cuts himself off, looking down at the curls of hair still lounging around in the sink. "But, you got them for me, and..and I wanted you to know I appreciate them and..my stupid brain and stupid hair started reminding me of mom..."

a few tears slip off his cheeks

"Hey now, no worries kiddo." wayne says, soft as he can, as he comes to crouch down at eddie's side instead, turning the kid to face him. "Makes this old heart'a mine feel all warm and fuzzy knowin' you kept 'em all, but'cha don't gotta wear 'em on my account if you don't like 'em."

eddie finally looks up at him, blinking a couple more tears away.

wayne holds up a hand, "Honest truth. We'll head down to the hardware store in town and getcha some hooks instead. You can hang 'em up wherever you want."

eddie sniffs, but smiles just a bit. "You couldn't've told me before I hacked all my hair off?"

lmao this got away from me but @withacapitalp and @stevesbipanic stared saying things in the discord and i HAD to write it down 😅

#THE MUNSONS MY BELOVEDS #wayne munson #eddie munson #al munson #st #stranger things #stranger things play #eddie munson hc #wayne munson hc #noelle writes

[cologona]

If you won some sort of lottery contest and DC allowed you to write a comic run for any character, any topic, no limits, what would your comic be like?

What kinda plot and characters would you want to etch into official DC canon? (Or would you prefer to write an elseworlds kinda thing?)

-redhoodinternaldialectical from the "main" blog

Sorry it took a while to answer this, I got pretty carried away! Jason is my favorite character and the character I know most about, so of course I'd write about him. This is going to be pretty long winded and fanfic-y, hope you don’t mind!

First things first I’m making both UTRH and Lost Days mostly canon again. Jason was a crime lord who did Mean Crime Lord Things for a while and that’s what I’ve decided everyone is referring to when they gesture vaguely to his villainous past.

I’m also bringing back the original “big boob” backstory where Jason makes Bruce laugh on the anniversary of his parents’ death. Catherine was an opioid addict due to illness, Willis was the person who taught Jason about cars (and thus how to jack tires) and Faye Gunn is no longer Jason’s grandma. (I really disliked Ma Gunn’s “redemption” in RHATO.) Just in case, I’m also reiterating Sheila’s role in Jason’s death.

Here’s a few lines I came up with for the Todds:

Jason keeps the letters Willis sent him from prison - the ones Ma Gunn hid- in the same picture frame that holds his Robin graduation photo with Bruce. He loved and resented Willis in equal parts, but mostly he regrets not having gotten more time. It’s all the same with fathers.

Catherine is curled up in bed, her expression is half a grimace. She asks Jason, who is reading a picture-book by her side, to get her ‘medicine’ for her. Jason doesn’t know how else to help her feel better so… that’s exactly what he does. In a moment, he returns with a small heart shaped box and a cup of microwaved soup.

If I can imply in some way that Catherine is in denial about the possibility of her dying I’d like to do that too.

I’m also doing a total overhaul of the All-Caste.

Essence is getting proper Tibetan braids, Ducra is going to wear a khampa chuba instead of her current old coat, and the Acres-of-All are getting reimagined as a towering Ziggurat with all the murals, pillars, curtains, and ornate trim befitting a monastery! The All-caste of memory will be bright and fantastical, but the ruins of the present will be dark and spooky.

Some references for what I'm talking about.

I’m also reframing the “Absolute Evil” part of the All-blades’ description to be an epithet for the Untitled. The sword is not literally judging Goodness and Evilness anymore; now they cut through negative psychic energy Jujutsu Kaisen style. I don’t think I need to spell out a justification for Jason being able to summon them whenever, but for any sticklers I’ll just say it’s because Jason- like the Untitled- has a lot of bad feelings and trace amounts of Dionesium in his system (among assorted other chemicals.)

Since Lost Days is being brought back that means instead of spending an entire 3 years with the All-Caste, Jason only spent a few weeks with them during his world-wide training arc. Ostensibly because a little magic would give him an edge over Batman. Ducra wouldn’t normally just give away powerful magic weapons to any chump with a free weekend, and she knew Jason was dangerous, but since the All-Blades are so specific and the ritual to attain them nigh-unsurvivable she saw an opportunity to use Jason. Sure she's one of the Good Guys, but she's not called a conniving old witch for nothing hoohoo!

Now a few plot ideas for a vague overall mini-arc.

First, Jason goes to ugly lengths to protect or prevent consequences from finding one of his family. Maybe someone threatens their secret identity…? The ‘opponent’ should be someone innocent and/or noble but not easily bought or fought. Maybe Vicki Vale, another Hero, or some kind of wealthy heir. The point is to cast doubt on if Jason’s return to the Bats is really so unquestionably redeeming. Jason has pretty much chosen to betray his morals for them after all.

Then, Jason chooses not to kill a villain who shortly afterwards victimizes more people and skips town before he can get caught. Basically a rehash of Diplomat’s Son except the Garzonas figure gets away. It’s technically a win for Batman- his presence kept Gotham safe after all. But it doesn’t feel like a win, especially not to Jason.

And finally, Jason frames himself for various murders committed by victims against their abusers. Maybe kick the story off with one of Ma Gunn’s boys killing her and telling the cops it was Red Hood in a desperate bid to avoid jail.

Obviously Jason can’t be allowed to do this long-term. It’s a bad precedent to set, an obstruction of justice, etc… Jason hasn’t broken The Big Rule though, and Bruce can only act so sanctimonious when those same complaints could be are made about him as well. There’s no way this ends any other way than Batman running Red Hood out of Gotham again and they both know it, but neither deviates from the path set before them.

One or two “monster of the week” issues where Jason fights various assassins and bounty hunters sent by his more influential enemies might be good- one should occur right after the above story. A consequence for his “return to form” so to speak. Batfamily fans may appreciate a scene where Bruce says something indicating that he ran Jason out for his own safety as well as Gotham’s. Batman may be able to hide in Bruce Wayne’s skin during the day but Jason’s only identity is that of Red Hood, and at times that makes him vulnerable in a way other heroes aren’t. This + some panels contrasting the generic mercenary look of Jason’s guns and equipment with the Bats’ spandex future-tech will be great for showing how separate Jason is from the Bats.

Now while Jason’s out of Gotham again there’s this detail in one of RHATO’s flashbacks that I want to expand on- that being how he used to be able to summon a lot more All-blades.

Red Hood Outlaw 34

“I had a lot of soul back then” - implying that he has a lot less soul now…!?

Jason’s been through a lot, in life sure but also more recently. Fight scenes where the All-blades take the form of daggers would not only be cool and evocative of the wavy dagger Talia gifted him way back when, they’d be good visual sign of his declining emotional state.

Later on as his soul ‘shrinks’ further, I’d give him a pair of mystical guns through which he can channel his All-blades into bullets. If it’s another gift from Talia I’m thinking dark brass revolvers with paisley filigree and a red Endless Knot charm hanging from each handle. If they’re from Essence or S’aru I’m thinking black lacquer and silver cloud-patterned ornamentation, with red coral embedded on either side of the gun. Beautiful Bayonetta-style guns with glowing red veins and a cowboy flair!

antique guns which inspired me

As for what he’s using the All-blades (All-bullets?) for, I think it’d be fun to have Jason exorcising some ghosts. He can solve various murder mysteries, figure out why this place or that person is haunted, and get into fights with horrific otherworldly creatures. Jason is an interesting character to do this premise with because he might just determine that some some spirits should get their revenge, and act on behalf of a ghost rather than erasing it.

I’m not sure whether I’d want to have Essence join him or not… On one hand it only makes sense that Jason would help Isabel and Essence find a way to free themselves from the Blood Blade, and that goal would provide his character with some direction. Then again, Essence/Isabel could be cool as antagonists. Jason might see some ghosts as valid but Essence probably wouldn’t see any merit in appeasing manifestations of lingering resentment. She’s similar to him in that she also turned her back on her family, but she’s different in that she did it because she believed so wholeheartedly in their cause. She’s old and sort of a Jedi, but she’s hot-blooded and she’ll never not be Ducra’s daughter in the same way it seems Jason can never escape Batman’s shadow. I bet she has some real juicy sunk-cost fallacy type thinking too, that’d be fun to dig into.

Anyways I think this is a pretty good set-up to explore the politics/morality of forgiveness. What makes the difference between an injustice and a hatchet that ought to be buried? When is forgiveness empowering and when is it coerced? Who is it that must forgive? Justice vs Revenge, that whole kind of thing.

Other than the supernatural stuff I want Jason working with Talia, and I’m reintroducing Sasha to the post-52 continuity. Duela is getting nixed.

I don’t really have any specific plot ideas for Talia, but I would like to establish Jason as one of her associates. With Lost Days back they have basis for an actual relationship again. They’re not always on the same side but Jason can sometimes do tasks for Talia (outside the purview of Ra’s and the LOA), and Talia can occasionally support Jason with various social power-play type moves.

An instance of Jason getting into a fight with one of the Bats because he’s doing a favor for Talia would be great! I wouldn't write Talia as an evil evil bad horrible dragon lady, so it shouldn’t be a huge blow to Jason’s status as a Good Guy. Also I like the idea of Jason and Talia’s relationship mostly being inferred through their actions supporting one another, rather than directly showing much ‘on-screen’ interaction between them.

Also it’ll be interesting to go into Bruce, Dick, and Damian’s reaction to finding out that they’re not the only ones Jason is loyal to. Bruce thinking Talia was a bad influence on Jason (like fanon), silently frustrated because what he really wants is for Jason to be a full Bat-Believer (like the good old days…). Dick being fine with Jason never falling fully in-line with Bruce, provided that at the end of the day his loyalty belonged to his family.

-brief topical detour to talk about Sasha-

The new timeline of events is that Jason and Sasha met as fellow patients while Jason was in his Vague Villain era. They escaped the hospital building together (Sasha in her bloody dress, and Jason naked save for his skimpy hospital gown dhoti) and having no one else they stuck together. They got close but at some point Sasha lost her memories, giving her a chance at a fresh start. This was around the same time Jason “redeemed” himself and so just like Max Dawkins, ‘Numbers’, and Gabby Christiensen -Sasha became another person from Jason’s past that he didn’t let himself have a relationship with.

Sasha was just old enough that she didn’t have to be sent into foster care, so with some help from Wayne Foundations she got her GED and her feet underneath her. Now… she goes to work, goes to her physical therapy appointments, fights with her mother over the phone, and yes- sometimes she goes to the club.

The new Sasha still has spiky red hair but her face looks entirely normal save for a subtle scar tracing around her jawline and chin- the edges of where her mask used to sit. She wears dark makeup and even darker clothes. She’s prone to false memories and dissociation. She’s lost most of her ability to feel pain. She can’t watch certain shows she used to love anymore because they trigger her. She never returned to Russia. She doesn’t have many friends.

Since this is comics, her reintroduction will come by way of a dramatic fight. Sasha will regain her memories one day and show up out of the blue to fight Jason, angry and heartbroken that he abandoned her. He tries to explain himself but she just says look what they did to my face, referring to the facial reconstructive surgery she was given while amnesiac. She’ll be difficult to fight, not only because being a partial Dollotron gives her enhanced strength but also because she’s being reckless and the longer they fight the more strain and damage her body accrues.

After Jason apologizes and they reconcile (they will both cry) Sasha can become a recurring side character that Jason visits, keeping him grounded and up to date with Gotham. I think it'd be cute for her to bid him farewell by saying she’ll hold the city hostage until he comes back. (Is Sasha going to become Jason’s love interest? No. If I give Jason a love interest it’s going to be Numbers.)

--Going back to the previous topic, I want Sasha’s return to be part of this greater arc of Jason addressing his "shrinking soul" problem. My brain is a little fried now so I’m not exactly sure how but she is related. I think she ought to be.

Jason wants Bruce to be right. He would like for his problem to be fixed by going home and saying sorry. But at the end of my run I want him to face the reality that it’s not about that.

...Perhaps it should be about Jason 'abandoning' Gotham? I don’t really want the final thesis of my run to imply that Jason’s soul would just be fixed if he killed Rogues though, and Jason always came back whenever a big disaster was happening so it doesn't quite fit anyways… Jason does believe in the value of “pure” heroes it’s just not what he’s supposed to be. Whatever his problem's “about” , it ought to prompt Jason to stop taking Bruce’s shit. I'm saying the man is literally breaking Jason's spirit.

I’m sympathetic to Bruce but I wouldn’t write him as a nice father. I would also have scene where a younger Bat accuses Jason of being overdramatic despite 'not even having it the worst’. I don't know who 'has it the worst' but I want to make a statement that you don't need to win the pain-race to be fed up.

Ah anyways, now my brain is really fried. I hope this post was coherent all the way through, I neglected to edit and organize my thoughts as much towards the end. Thank you for asking me such a great question, I had a lot of fun thinking about it! :D

#me rambling so much #i have been holding onto this too long #I did kind of pull and UTRH part 2 electric boogaloo with Sasha didn’t I #except I characterized her as more like fanon/movie Jason #I fixed some of the typos now #oh god I forgot to mention: #I want to have a repeated motif of timekeeping sounds #beeping alarms ticking clocks beating drums #also I want Jason to show off his knowledge of bombs and poisons #Jason’s always making antidotes to shoot people with that ought to be explored #ahhhh the ideas won’t stop coming #jason todd #scarlet sasha #essence dc #headcanons #red hood #put a pin on it #📌

[chaotic-archaeologist]

Hi! I'm currently doing my MA in archaeology (European Prehistory specialization) and I love it. I always thought I'd get my Masters and dip, but lately I've been seriously contemplating getting a PhD. I love learning and studying my topic and I'm having so much fun at my uni and suddenly starting my working career at 22 doesn't sound very appealing anymore. However, the idea of applying to a PhD program is very overwhelming (luckily where I want to apply has a pretty cohesive sign up step by step), still the idea of funding (especially) and having to write a proposal and possibly getting rejected from the place I've spend the last three and half years walking around is very overwhelming. How can I have that be not so overwhelming to the point of giving up bc if sounds like too much? Do I need to worry about funding that much? Is it expensive?

(I tried to find your advice masterpost before sending this ask to check if you'd already talked abt it, but I couldn't find a working link, sorry)

Thanks in advance :D

Hi dirtling,

First, here's a link to my advice master list—sorry that wasn't working for you. Our blue hellsite is fickle like that.

From what you say, it sounds like you have a great attitude for starting the journey to a PhD. Ultimately, the love of learning and a dedication to the field are the most important parts. The application and the proposal and the funding are daunting for everyone, but they are doable. I find that breaking things down into bite sized pieces and establishing your sense of self worth outside of academia are critical.

Now I feel the need to point out that my experience and advice come from a uniquely American viewpoint, and may not be applicable to European schools at all. Europeans please feel free to chime in with your own advice!

The very first thing you should do is talk to your advisor. Please send them an email right now if you have not already done so! Your (potential) advisor is going to be your champion in any sort of application process going forward. If you want to continue at the same university you're already at, your advisor is the single best person to help walk you through that process. Even if you wind up going somewhere else, you're going to need to make inroads with another advisor at a new program.

Finally: grad school is expensive (at least in the United Stated). However, many programs will have tuition waivers and assistantships that they offer their grad students because if everybody had to pay for it, nobody except the very rich would be able to afford to go to grad school. Exactly how affordable it is depends on the cost of living in your area and how much the school pays you (and whether you're able to work outside to supplement that income if need be).

Honestly, I think you've already done the hard part by getting into (and nearly completing) a Master's program. That's a great step towards proving to PhD programs that you have what it takes, and it should give you a decent idea about finances. What are yours like right now? How about your peers? I would imagine there isn't going to be a vast amount of difference from a MA to a PhD, and in the US a PhD is sometimes cheaper because they're funded while MAs often are not.

There will be differences from a MA to a PhD. Doctoral students are going to be expected to take on larger magnitudes of their own research and function more independently, but a good advisor and program should help you through that process. Again, the key is to take things piece by piece. Start with talking to your advisor and maybe the graduate program director. Take a look at that step by step guide with them and break it into separate tasks you need to do.

Don't psych yourself out about this too much. One thing at a time.

-Reid

#he speaks #academic advice #grad school advice

[green-alien-turdz]

What are your headcanons for the main five, if you dont mind answering. I really like your take on all of them (Especially Kyle!!) and id love to hear more of your takes on them, aside from what you include in your art.

I'm curious as to which headcanons you're really interested in, but I will do my best to try and cover as much ground as possible.

Keep in mind that this is all teen headcanon's (so like 17-18)

STAN: Doing his best to not fall apart at any moment. Home life is still pretty ass and Randy is a dickwad like always. Sharon is a good constant in his life, and she's become much more lenient with him over the years, knowing that he's got a lot of shit on his plate. Is still in Crimson Dawn because it helps him vent his frustrations. Worked rather hard to not be an alcoholic, but doesn't turn down drinking with Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny. Genuinely making an effort to try and take care of himself and trying to get Kyle to do the same. He is also going to be narrowly graduating by the skin his teeth with help from Wendy (who is simply a friend), and Kyle. He also became much more into protest groups, but to the dismay of his friends who are forced to watch hundreds of documentaries and listen to him read articles. (The intensity of this passion came from trying to find a purpose in life when he was at his worst, mentally.)

/\ Both like one another but have no clue where to go from there \/

KYLE: In desperate need of anger management classes. The pressure of always trying to be perfect and excel at everything caught up with him in about 6th grade, where he'd start trying to control every aspect of his life in the worst ways possible. Sheila and Gerald are completely blind to any of this, seeing as the grades never dropped, so they assume all is well. Despite that, he does still preach about self-care and the importance of letting out "pussy emotions" to the rest of his friends, who are all well aware of his issues (sh + ed) but aren't sure how to fix them. He is also Crimson Dawn's biggest supporter and is usually wearing the same shirt because he finds comfort in it.

CARTMAN: Thriving in his own sense. He still has an insane amount of unwarranted confidence, but he does still have some insecurities (the narcissism often cancels it out though). He has become more barrable with age, but that's not saying much. Somehow, he still can't grasp why no one outside of his friend group even likes talking with him. Has a thing for Wendy again, but it's very on again and off again between the two, seeing as Wendy will usually get bothered by him and then dip. Genuinely does care for his friends (in his own way), but masks it with insults and fighting. May or may not purposefully drive away all of his mom's boyfriends, afraid of losing her care and attention. - EXTRA: Worked at the sewerslide hotline as a joke for about a week before getting fired -

KENNY: Can't take a single thing seriously because if he does, it'll break him. Takes pride in being the most comedic person in the room, always trying to one up the next guy, typically with gross out humour. Spends most of his time away from home, unless it's to take care of Karen, but he often takes her out with him, even to his jobs. He still works at City Wok, but also picks up other odd jobs around town. Stan will also give him a shit ton of Randy's supply to sell around to minors as a way to get some extra cash. Similar to Stan, he's not doing so great school wise, seeing as he spends so much time working, and would rather be with friends in his free time, but Kyle also helps him to make sure that he's going to graduate. When it comes to his friendship with Marjorine/Butters, he's the main supporter, doing what he can to help out. -EXTRA: While he doesn't have time very often to do so, he does try and go out as Mysterion when possible)

BUTTERS/MARJORINE: Get this bitch out of her household now. After many years of uncomfortable confusion, finally came to the conclusion that being Marjorine was what she wanted. Despite an unaccepting homelife, she is very openly feminine once out in public, getting dressed into clothes she likes in public restrooms. Going to graze over the home abu$e we know occurs. She mainly hangs out with Kenny and everyone else when she can but spends a lot of time grounded. Getting a job at the mall has helped with being able to get some time to be herself. She also really enjoys being the guitarist in Crimson Dawn and is one of the few times she'll actually let negative emotions out. Although there is still the occasional outing as Professor Chaos.

As a whole, they're all still dickwads who love going around town and fucking shit up. They are NOT well liked because they're so obnoxious, and they're very likely going to be the ones behind random destruction and vandalism. They still love scheming and ruining the lives of others, but try to be less open about it as to avoid getting in trouble with the law as an adult.

(If you have any specific headcanon's you were looking for, feel free to send an ask! I'm not sure what it was you were looking for, so please let me know if I missed anything you were curious about.)

#south park #asks #sp headcanons

[nobody7102]

Small Town R+J: Chapter 1

Pairing: Rhett Abbott X Tillerson!Reader

Warnings: Angst, drinking(kind of), it do be sad hour up in here

A/N: So I tried to make this like a small One shot thing, but One shots aren't really my thing because I'm addicted to writing series and causing myself pain

Main Master-List

Series Master-List

_____________

2012:

The clinking of glass against glass filled the air as the truck pulled into the pasture and settled on the grass. The truck doors flew open as giggles followed, “you grab the bottles?” Rhett’s voice called to her as he grabbed a few blankets and threw them into the back of the truck bed before doing the same with some pillows.

The clinking of the glass continued till the pair was snuggled up against each other in the truck bed, leaning against the pillows, the warmth radiating from the blankets and each other only intensifying as they passed the bottle of Hennessy back and forth. The sipps they took were evermore fueling the giggles that erupted from the two as they kissed, cuddled, and repeated.

As the laughter died down, she settled into his arms, feeling his head rest against her shoulder “...When can we do this for real…” She whispered and felt Rhett as he stiffened slightly.

“Sweetheart..” he started only to be cut off

“No Rhett” she turned in his grasp “I love you, why should I be ashamed of that?” her brows furrowed “I’m tired of hiding this…” taking his hands into her she stared at the back of his hands, her thumbs rubbing circled. “I wanna go watch you ride and cheer you on, I wanna go to the store with you and fight over why we need three different cereals” he chuckled, moving to hold her once more “I wanna be with you outside of the pastures…” she whispered feeling him press a kiss into her hair.

“I know you do Sweetheart” he mumbled before letting out a sigh “...I want that too… But you know what your brothers would do….” resting his head on top of her’s “They’d…” he let out a breath “they’d skin me alive and… and string me up on that fucken taxidermy wall” 

Shaking her head she took a sip from the bottle before speaking “No they wouldn’t. I won’t let them” handing the bottle off to Rhett, she waited for him to take a sip before she continued “I don’t care if I get disowned or if it sends my daddy into another stroke-”

“Careful there Sweetheart” Rhett started “Wouldn’t want someone to hear you” he joked “...We could just keep it to the ranch?” He suggested “Ma wouldn’t mind… plus Rebeca and Perry love it when we see you in the pasture, you’re the only other person Rebeca talks to outside of the family ever since Amy was born” he nuzzled his head into her neck

Shaking her head, she took the bottle back from Rhett “I can’t do that to your parents… Daddy and the boys already don’t like your family… having me at your ranch would just provoke them more…” taking a sip she hummed “Besides, I’d just take up more room and your family’s already dealing with so much right now with trying to help out Perry and Rebeca..”

The two sat in silence for a few more minutes before she felt Rhett straighten out “We could renovate the hayloft of the barn” he quickly said 

“Rhett-” 

“No” he shifted her in his grasp so she was facing him “We could do it, we’re both good with tools and building shit, we help repair our parents ranches all the time… we could do it” A sad smile fell upon her face as Rhett took her hands in his “You don’t like that idea fine, we’ll be 18 in two years. We’ll save up money and get our own place as soon as we graduate!” he exclaimed, causing her to chuckle “I mean it Sweetheart. You could make money writing, I could finally get the rodeo career that I want”

Removing her hands from his grasp, she moved to cup his face as she straddled his lap, she pressed kisses all over his face before finally planting her lips on his. Rhett’s hands moved to hold her waist as they kissed before he felt a tear fall upon his cheek, pulling away from her he wiped the tears “Sweets… Y/N what’s wrong?” 

Shaking her head, she smiled “n-nothings wrong baby…” she wiped her tears once more before cupping his jaw, her thumb rubbing his cheek “it just-... You really think we can do it… leave?” she whispered as Rhett nodded before resting his forehead against hers. 

“We could do it, Sweets. I know we could…”

A Week Later:

“Rhett!” a voice called out across the pasture, causing him and Perry to look around before Perry pointed and motioned for Rhett to look across the fence line. He watched as Y/N emerged from the other side running towards him. Standing from his spot he took off towards her, ignoring Perry’s holler’s. Crawling over the fence to catch her in his arms, tears streamed down her face as she clinged to his form “Rhett!” Her voice shook as she sobbed into his shoulder, her words mumbling together.

His hands flew to cup her face, looking over her for anything that could be wrong “Sweets wh-”

“She’s leaving” Y/N sobbed “She’s leaving a-and she’s taking me with her” her gripped his wrists as he continued to cradle her face.

“What do you mean she’s taking you with her? Y/N who’s taking you where?!” His eyes widened as his voice shook slightly.

Her body shook as she closed her eyes, resting her head against Rhett’s “My mom” her voice cracked “...She’s leaving…she’s leaving my dad… and Wabang, she wants to take me with her to the cities” 

Pulling her back into his chest, Rhett just shook his head “No she’s not… no she-....” his voice broke as he held her, with tears running down his cheeks that matched her’s “She can’t-” he choked out as they both sank down into the grass “We… we’ve got so much we have to do-”

“Rhett!” Perry’s voice called out “Rhett she has to go!” His voice was rushed and frantic as other voices started to call out for Y/N from the Tillerson property as Perry started to pry them apart.

“NO!” they both yelled before Perry finally freed them from each other's grips before he took Y/N by the shoulders.

“Y/N I know you don’t wanna go but if you don’t they’re gonna come out here to start looking for you” his gaze was soft, seeing how much it pained them to part. 

Pushing his hands off her shoulder she turned towards the direction of Tillerson ranch before she turned back around to Rhett, pulling him into a kiss “I love you” she whispered causing Rhett to sob as she took off back towards the house. 

Knowing Rhett’s actions before Rhett himself, Perry grabbed his brother before he could start to take off after Y/N, holding his brother up as he sobbed watching Y/N disappear into the woods.

_____

Taglist: @fanboygarcia @auroralightsthesky @hangmanapologist @mothdruid @rhettabbotts @thesluttyarchivist

#rhett abbott imagine #rhett abbott fic #rhett abbott outer range #rhett abbott x reader #rhett abbott #outer range x reader #lewis pullman outer range #outer range #outer range imagine #lewis pullman imagine #lewis pullman x reader #lewis pullman

[blueoceanpisceshere]

I got this idea long ago (that I will never put on a fic obvi :)).

After the all Valley, Johnny actually properly apologised to Daniel and they became close friends. When they graduated, they were still meeting up (Okinawa trip forgotten-). Christmas was around the corner and Daniel was insisting for Johnny to come with them (his ma and himself) to new Jersey so they can spend it together with his family, and Johnny could actually have a REAL Christmas with a REAL winter.

Daniel:" you never saw real snow?!"

Johnny:" So what?....I've never travel out of California if it wasn't for one of Sid stupid expensive trip to Greece or France....{which mom insisted to bring me along.}"

He finally accepted to go with him and went to new Jersey. Johnny got spoiled by compliments from pratically every members of Larusso family (except Louis who was jealous of him because he was a big blond pretty boy so he didn't stop to teasing him by saying that he was gay for Daniel.....whish was not totally wrong-)

The person who was always with Johnny was actually Daniel's nonna. (Daniel got a lot to do to help the family around, eapecially in kitchen) She always make sure that he eat properly. (too much- really too much.

Daniel:" your cheeks became more round"* found it cute-*

Johnny:" Nonna don't want me to starve."

Daniel:" you call her Nonna now?"

Johnny:" she wanted me to, who am I to say no to a lady?")

The funny part is that nonna forgot all the time that Johnny doesn't know a word in italian. She usually sat on the couch with him and had her best conversation with a confused Johnny who keeps nodding to don't looks like an idiot or someone impolite.

Nonna: (talk in italian)" this boy is adorable, he always listen to me and got time to take care of me"

Lucille: (talk in italian)" oh really....*have noticed that she talks 100% in italian with him* {poor boy}"

And last think, Johnny, Daniel and Nonna went for a walk every morning. Johnny let Nonna holding on his arm and Daniel walking on Johnny other side. He sometimes slip and get caught by a strong built arm.

Daniel: "I didn't needed your help. I wasn't about to fall. *was about to fall*"

Johnny:" sure Daniel, welcome to save your little ass *wink, still holding him in case* {He is so tiny..}"

Daniel:"*blushe a little, pulls himself away and huff* whatever you say blondy"

Nonna: "*is looking at the sunrise*"

//I am really sorry for my grammatical faults. I'm still learning how to write properly in English :') (not like I was a head in french-) if someone could help me to correct myself I would take the help :'D//

#teen lawrusso #i can't get enough of them

[beemovieerotica]

Would you pretty please talk some more about particles in Guaraní?

Oh yeah!! I love learning Guaraní it's so cool.

So yeah I explained +pe added to the end of a word denoting a destination (just like +e in japanese!) and then +ha before that if the destination is not a static, named place (like "graduation party" versus "Asunción") giving you a phrase like oho fiestahape [they're going to the party]!

The question particles are +pa and +piko (the latter having greater emphasis, sometimes used like "HUH?"), and these can be added onto just about anything, transforming all that precedes it into a question.

This is really cool because that's how you get all your "question nouns":

mba'é [thing] -> mba'épa [what]

mava [someone] -> mavapa [who]

moõ [place] -> moõpa [where]

(if the context is clear enough though and you're making a one word question/exclamation, the particle will be dropped and you can just be like, "mba'é??")

The particle +icha ("ch" is pronounced like English "sh") means "like this thing." So cheicha ["me" + that particle] means "like me," ndeicha is "like you."

This is also how you build the classic Guaraní greeting, mba'éichapa, [mba'é + icha + pa] which literally means, "What's it like?" Awesome!!!

Guaraní is super intuitive and has a ton of other particles that make for very quick sentence building, and I'll try to run through other important ones.

The particle +gua means "from," so the word moõguapa [place + from + question] is the complete phrase, "Where is it from?"

+guara denotes purpose or intent. So you could hand me a postcard, and I can ask, mavapeguarapa? [person + destination + purpose + question] -> "Who is this for?"

+ve is used for comparisons to denote "more." So iporãve [it + good + more] -> "It's better."

+hegui invokes the object being compared to. So, cheporãve ndehegui [me + pretty + more, you + comparison] -> "I'm prettier than you." (hegui, like guara, is a combination of two smaller particles but I'm not getting into it)

+rõ is the conditional particle, like "if something happens." The Guaraní word for "tomorrow" is ko'erõ whose literal translation is either "if [another] morning," or if you're feeling macabre, "if [I] wake up."

+guasu means big, giving us the word Iguazu [water + big], the name for the region in the Amazon where the biggest waterfalls in the world are.

+i means small. Mbarakaja'i [cat + small] -> kitten or a dinky cat.

(the word for chicken is ryguasu [bird + big]. So if you wanted to talk about a baby chick, it would be ryguasu'i [bird + big + small].

+kuera denotes plural. Ha'ekuera [3rd person singular + plural] -> they/them

+te is a fun emphasis particle. Iporaite [it + good + emphasis] is an enthusiastic response to mba'éichapa?

(and of course you can make this a question. Iporaitepiko? [it + good + emphasis + question] -> "This slaps, yeah??"

Verb tenses are also formed via particles making for very easy conjugations. +ma is something that has already happened, +ta is future. If you want to say that something is imminent, like "I'm literally leaving right now!" you'd say ahatama! [I go + future + already]

I desperately need to review my Guaraní, but yeah I hope this is a cool intro to the language and maybe you'd be interested in diving into more of it!! It is on Duolingo but only for Spanish speakers currently, so if you know Spanish then you can hop right in.

#languages #linguistics #guarani #indigenous languages

[essentialsugar]

“ Burning Fireflies “

Summary : (Y/N) always longed to see the fireflies ever since they were little. They thought that they would never see them. But, tiny speaks of hope came along the way as they started seeing them when a certain person comes by.

+ . - . + . - . + . - . + . - . +

Warnings : none that I could possibly think of, scratch that - Malleus being a little bit ooc

Character(s) : Malleus Draconia

Note's : AUSHS I finally have motivation to write. I have been traveling left and right ever since graduation. I'm literally so tired, but like, AUSHUSHU. ALSO I'VE BEEN LISTENING TO THIS FINGURE LICKING SONG AND I'M LIKE- it gives me tears whenever I hear it.

Walking along the botanical garden at night, Y/N sighed as they couldn't find a single firefly. This has been happening for years where Y/N would search for fireflies at night. But sadly, even as they grew up, they still couldn't find a single firefly. Because of this, Y/N was quite disheartened for a while.

"Damn, I thought the could've been here," they yawned "Ace did say that the fireflies tend to hang around here too. Unless that block head is tricking me again.." Y/N grumbled.

Shaking off the tiredness, they continued to walk along the outside of the garden - occasionally taking breaks in between - although they do wish to sleep. "They should be around here . . I know they should." Y/N yawned and stretched out their limbs, "I should just go back to Ramshackle. . Grim's probably wondering where I am."

Walking back to the Ramshackle dorm, Y/N felt sad that they couldn't find some. After all, it's been years since they've been searching restlessly. "No worries, there's still some places I didn't check out. I'll try again tomorrow." and was once again thrown into a bit of hope.

"Yeah, hopefully there should be some at the woods . . but the courtyard does seem safer for me. Hmm.." as they were still in thought, they didn't notice the fireflies that was surrounding them as they were getting close to the Ramshackle's entrance. "Hehe, yeah, best decision is the courtyard! Well, that's if they even allow people going out at night . . do they?" Y/N shook their head to at least wake themselves up a bit. As they did, they finally noticed the fireflies surrounding them.

"HUH?? Wha- Where did they come from??" Out of surprise, Y/N was now fully awake.

Their eyes lit up as they smiled in awe, "Woahhh, I never knew they could shine this brightly!" Ever since Y/N has came into Twisted Wonderland, they've never seen the fireflies show up right in front of the Ramshackle dorm before. It was suspicious, but knowing fireflies, they usually come from fields and in other places like the mountains and forests.

It does make sense for them to come out during the summer though. But, Y/N ignored the facts and continued to be enchanted by the brightly colored light that's surrounded by them.

"Ah, hello there Child of Man. I didn't know you'd still be awake at this hour." Malleus appeared out of nowhere, causing Y/N to let out a shrill scream. "Ma - Malleus! You scared me!" they cried out. Malleus apologized to them afterwards, "Though, I do wonder why you're awake at this deathly hour. Are you perhaps doing something?" he tilted his head to the side.

"Huh, oh right. About that...aha.." Y/N explained the situation to Malleus, telling him about their hunts to see fireflies every night. "Hmm, no wonder you seem tired everyday." Malleus hummed, putting on a pose that looked like he was thinking.

Y/N nervously laughed as they scratched the back of their neck. "Yeah. . . I've been doing this ever since I was a child. This is actually my first time seeing fireflies up close rather then seeing them on T.V,." Malleus gave Y/N a little lidded-smile, "Oh? Well I'm happy to indulge you Child of Man, these small creatures tend to appear whenever I appear."

Y/N gave Malleus a shocked look with a bit of jealously in it. They showered Malleus with questions about fireflies and how cool it was to have fireflies appear whenever he's near.

Of course, Malleus was a bit surprised - and amused - of how excited the Ramshackle Perfect was for fireflies, though he gave a small smile and answered their questions along with making some small conversations. The both of them talked until sunrise.

At this point of life, Y/N was happy and contented to see the fireflies and talk to their friend, Malleus Draconia, the soon to be king of the Briar Valley.

Bonus !! -

"Y/N . . are you sure you can stay awake during the classes? Deuce asked worryingly as Ace laughed in the background. "Jeez Y/N! You look like that dormleader from Ignihyde, Idia!" Ace wheezed.

"Yeah, yeah, this was all your fault Ace." Y/N glared at the ginger-haired boy that was still frantically laughing. Deuce sighed as Grim continued to eat his lunch. Although Y/N was mad at ace, they were happy that they were able to talk to a certain person last night.

Notes : I sometimes question why my back hurts and I looked it up on google (I don't think I should trust google sometimes 😞) and it said I probably had a miscarriage 😀 I swear to god, it gave me a heart attack and I was so confused. I HAVE NEVER DONE THE DIRTY DEED IN MY LIFE I SWEAR *sobs*

#malleus draconia #malleus draconia x reader #malleus x reader #twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst scenarios #twisted wonderland fluff #malleus twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland scenarios #malleus draconia x you #malleus fluff

[laventadorn]

what did you study in college & did that help you with what you’re doing as a career now? Any advice for a gal struggling through undergrad trying to go to grad school?

behind the cut - this reads more like a collection of thoughts, i feel very unqualified to give advice!

about me and my degrees:

i studied english and creative writing in college, which according to articles i've read, almost nobody does anymore. the liberal arts are a field that's cleared out at dusk after all the players have gone home -- or to STEM fields, in this case.

the job i'm in now is entirely based on my degree -- can't have this job without it. but i've been part time for ten years, because getting a full-time job is a crapshoot, and part time pay is shit. but the time i tried to switch jobs, i got so profoundly depressed (in the clinical sense) i had to go back to this job. i'm just trying to embed myself until they hire me full time.

english grad school is, moreover, unlike many graduate school programs because (functionally) nobody goes unless they’re getting it for free, which means needing a fellowship or grad assistant program that pays for everything and awards you a small (unlivable) stipend. the second option is what i did. (essentially they’re training you to be a college professor, and you’re studying for free and getting food money.) fellowships usually pay more but are more competitive — but the process of getting into grad school for english or creative writing is equally a crapshoot. the first year i tried, i didn’t get in; the second year, i applied to more schools and a couple of them took the bait. i picked the school that gave me the best package.

bottom line is, it would really depend on your program. i have zero knowledge of other fields, sadly, because almost everyone i know who did grad school was in english like me. of the english MA/PhD people i know, they've worked in publishing, teaching, writing, and coypediting. so the fields have all been english adjacent, because typically you don't get a grad degree in a field unless you're committed to it.

(some people just daisy-chain MFA programs. they go from one to the other, living on fellowships. you can get multiple grad degrees. i once met a guy at a party who was even going for his postdoc at MIT. that's real commitment to the grad life.)

i don't regret my degrees or graduate school -- i had a great time in both. however, i also got out with no debt, since college was cheaper then and i got scholarships to schools that weren't exactly high brow. i also just really enjoyed being in school because it suits my habits and personality, and i was studying something i loved. a lot of people very much do not feel that way -- if you're struggling... :(

there was also nothing else i could've effectively studied. i am only competent in liberal arts. if i'd taken a STEM track, i'd have failed out or had a nervous breakdown from not understanding my classes. no joke.

advice, such as it is:

i was reading an article about the ratio of people who regret their degrees, and people tend to regret it the most due to two factors: debt obtaining it and hire-ability afterward. yeah, no surprises there.

for advice pertaining to your specific field, i'd ask your professors -- they had to go to grad school, obviously, so they'd be more knowledgeable about what it's like. if there are younger professors around, that might be more helpful, since their experiences would be more recent. unless the older ones have kept up with the times, a lot about the job market, and academia, has changed in the last 20 - 30 years. is there any teacher you'd feel comfortable talking about it with?

i'd also be clear to yourself on why you want to go to grad school. if you're already considering it, you probably have heard all this before/know it already, because grad school isn't a common thing -- i just have to say it anyway. i don't know why you, specifically, are struggling with undergrad or if you even want to disclose the reasons, but even though i'm primed for academia and was studying what i enjoyed, grad school was tough. in undergrad there's typically a lot more leeway, but in grad school they do not let anybody fuck around. everybody is an A student. they're dead serious, and you (general you) can get kicked out for poor performance, especially if you're getting money from the school to even be there. not to say you're the fuck-around-and-find-out-type -- i definitely wasn't -- just that it adds pressure. i didn't even go for the PhD but stopped at the MA track. so i would just advise caution in the deliberation. if debt is an issue, for example, and your chosen degree would only add to it, i would be very clear on the finances.

of course, take all this advice with the caveat that it's entirely based on my experiences and perspective, and i don't consider myself to be a very wise or practical person! i just muddle along.

#laventadorn replies #as always with advice i have no idea if this was helpful #i feel like i'm all doom and gloom here but i dont want to say 'oh yes it's fun!' and completely scrub out the huge commitment aspect #there are lots of grad school horror stories #i don't actually have any tho - other than the times i did cringe stuff #if you want me to counterbalance this with more details on how it was *nice* i can do that too!

[finnlongman]

Hallo! Current third year PhD student at Cambridge here, with a hopefully reassuring message, it really is very different to undergrad. I've been renting privately the whole time, have barely been inside college in the last couple of years, and don't even own a gown any more. I have as much of a social network outside the uni bubble as inside it now. I feel like as a PhD student you have a chance to renegotiate your relationship with the university and the city a lot, and I have appreciated that. I hope it works out the same for you!

Yeah, I have seen a lot of friends go through PhD there in recent years, and a lot of them seem to have avoided the Cambridge Experience™ elements (others haven't, but haven't been trying).

I do think renting privately makes a massive difference: living in college means you're far more beholden to college rules and paternalism, and it's just so much harder to feel like an independent adult. Having returned to academia after having jobs makes a huge difference as well, rather than going straight through from undergrad. I took two years out before my MA, and two years between MA and PhD, so I've had a lot more time to... I guess consolidate myself as a person, figure out my priorities, etc.

I've also been working for the university for the past year, as a library assistant, which is interesting because it gives you a pretty different experience of university bureaucracy. As staff, there is some relief in being able to go, "Right, well, that's outside my work hours and therefore Not My Problem," and it's a lot harder to do that as a student -- I've already become frustrated with college scheduling compulsory events for weekends, since that disrupts my life significantly. But I think as term gets underway and stuff, it'll be useful to be able to go, "Okay, I know that's important because when I was staff we had to deal with X, but this other thing can wait," in a way that someone who hasn't got that experience might not be able to.

I previously worked in one of the colleges, too, before my MA, so I've got two years of working for the university of the five years since graduating from undergrad. So I've had a chance to experience Cambridge as a non-undergrad (I have not yet spent any time living in Cambridge with zero university connection, though; my other years were spent in London and Cork). But I think that's also why I'm a bit like, "Oh, god, really, you're gonna make me go back to doing this again?" 😅 I'm sure once the induction stuff is out of the way it'll be a different kettle of fish.

(The vibes right now very much seem geared towards people living on site -- lotta last-minute events and timetable changes, lotta induction talks that are 90% irrelevant to me -- and since I live four miles away, this is a bit of a pain, as I don't really want to make an eight-mile round trip if I don't absolutely need to, especially at short notice. But I imagine that will pass after the first week or so.)

#finn is not doing a phd #answered #anon good sir #tbh most of the bad time i was having as an undergrad was due to my health #which did not work well with the high-pressure no-breaks environment of cambridge #i am in many ways more disabled now than i was then but in ways that are somewhat less disruptive to studying #but being able to set my own schedule instead of having to write 3 essays a fortnight should make life easier #pity about the book deadlines :') we don't talk about that. the university doesn't need to know

[chaotic-archaeologist]

hey reid! i'm an undergraduate archaeology struggling to pick between two grad schools right now, and i thought you would be able to give me some advice since you are in grad school right now! one of the programs want an answer by monday, and frankly i want to make a decision this weekend too. my biggest issues are money and knowledge about the programs. one program is fully funding me for a year (is a phd program) and i know more about the positives and negatives of the department and have interacted with a lot of the students i would be working with. the other program is only giving me partal funding for a year (is a masters program) in a really expensive city, and i feel like i don't know what i am going into for the program. but! the masters program has excellent access to what i want to research compared to the other program, and would put me in the area of the work i do for networking and future jobs after the degree. i think in an ideal world, i would pick the masters program, but i just cannot get over the money. even with a second job i don't think i will be making enough per month to live in that city, and i'm not sure working over 20 hours a week is doable/recommended for graduate students because of coursework.

if you have any, any recommendations or thoughts based on the limited knowledge i've given you, i would really appreciate it. i think it would be helpful to hear from someone who isn't familiar with me, because no one is really giving me recommendations.

Hi there, dirtling! Your situation is very similar to the one I found myself in at this time last year. I had also gotten into both a PhD and a Master's program, where the PhD had significantly more funding attached while the MA program was maybe a better fit.

I chose the PhD route (and I'm personally very happy that I did), and I'll walk you through some of the factors that went into my decision.

First, the funding. I won't lie, that was a big part of it for me. I wasn't interested in putting myself into the kind of debt that the Master's would have required. We're in a field that doesn't pay much, and so paying back loans isn't the given that it is with some other professions.

As a PhD student, you have significantly more control over your own fate. The MA program I got into was going to tell me what I was going to do for my thesis. In the PhD program, I get to determine what I'm going to do and (more or less) how I'm going to do it.

I knew at the outset that a PhD was my end goal. With that in mind, in the MA program I'd have to reapply to grad schools a year and a half after the first round. I'm sure you're aware of exactly how exhausting the grad app process is, and I wasn't in a hurry to repeat that.

Psst, also, you can leave your PhD program after you get your Master's, and they'll still have paid for your education.

I do work about 20 hours/week, but that's my job as a TA, which is what covers my funding. I do not have to work an extra job, and most of my cohort also doesn't work outside of academia.

Your research is going to change as a part of grad school. With that in mind, you can be flexible (to a certain degree) about picking the program that is the "perfect" fit. You'll be able to network at different events and conferences. You can make other connections through whoever your mentor is. All of that will be harder to do if you're working another job to pay for your degree.

I'm also going to tag @wafflelovingbatgirl as my archaeology counterpoint who went the Master's route.

But ultimately, neither of us can tell you what to do. This is a big decision, and it will shape your life, but it's also not necessarily make or break. The decision you go with should be what best sets you up for success. So sit with it for a while. For me, I went into the week feeling totally conflicted, but by the weekend a pretty clear choice had emerged.

Congratulations and best of luck!

-Reid

#he speaks #grad school advice #grad school applications #reid goes to grad school

[adelalovesmadara]

Rōmaji:

Iruka: Sōda yo nā．．． Naruto．．． Samishikatta n da yo nā．．． Kurushikatta n da yo nā．．． Gomen nā．．． Naruto. Ore ga motto shikkari shite rya konna omoi sasezu ni sunda noni yo

Mizuki: Ano bake-gitsune ga chikara wo riyō shinai wake ga nai. Aitsu wa omae ga omotte iru yō na．．．

Iruka: Ā!

Naruto: (ki!) Keh．．． Yappa sou dattebayo! Hora na．．． Iruka-sensei mo honshin de wa ore no koto．．．．．．．．． Mitomete nēe n da

Iruka: Bake-gitsune nara na. Kedo Naruto wa chigau. Aitsu wa．．．

My Translation:

Iruka: That's right... Naruto... It's lonely, isn't it... It hurts, right... I'm sorry... Naruto. If only I tried harder (with you) you wouldn't feel like this at all

Mizuki: There's no way that monster fox won't use (its own) power. (That brat) isn't the person you think he is...

Iruka: Yeah!

Naruto: (face harden) Hmph... As I thought dattebayo! See... Iruka-sensei also doesn't truly... Accept me

Iruka: If he were a monster fox that is. However, Naruto is not. He is...

Rōmaji:

Iruka: Aitsu wa kono ore ga mitometa yūshū na seito da. ．．． Doryoku-ka de．．． Ichizu de．．． Sono kuse bukiyō de dare kara mo mitomete morae nakute．．．．．． Aitsu wa mō hito no kokoro no kurushimi wo shitte iru．．． Ima wa mō bake-gitsune ja nai.

Naruto: (gyū．．．)

Iruka: Aitsu wa Konoha-gakure no sato no．．．．．． Uzumaki Naruto da

My Translation:

Iruka: He is a brilliant student that has (received) my own recognition. (He is) hardworking... Devoted... And yet tactless (that) no one wants to accept (him)...... He already knows human's emotions and pain... Now he is no longer the monster fox.

Naruto: (clutching tight．．．)

Iruka: He is Konoha's...... Uzumaki Naruto

Rōmaji:

Iruka: Naruto．．．!?

Mizuki: (guh) ．．．．．．．．． Yatte kureru ja nē ka．．．．．．

Naruto: (don!) ．．． Iruka-sensei ni tē dasu na．．． KOROSU ZO．．．

Iruka: Ba．．． Baka! Nande dete kita！！NIGERO！！

Mizuki: Hozaku na！！Temē mitai na gaki ippatsu de naguri-koroshite yaru yo！！

Naruto: Yatte miro kasu！ Senbai ni shite kaeshite yakkara

Mizuki: Temē koso yareru mon nara yatte miro bake-gitsunēe！！！

My Translation:

Iruka: Naruto...!?

Mizuki: (groans) ......... You have the nerve......

Naruto: (big reveals) Don't lay hands on Iruka-sensei... (I'll) KILL YOU...

Iruka: I... Idiot! Why did you come out!! RUN!!

Mizuki: Don't bullshit me! I will kill a brat like you in one punch!!

Naruto: Just try it, trash! I'll return it in a thousand-fold

Mizuki: You bastard just try if you can, monster fox!!!

Rōmaji:

Iruka: Heh！ Hontō ni sennin ni bunshin ni shiyagaru to wa．．．Sono ue ．．．．．．Zanzō de wa naku jittai sono mono wo tsukuri dasu Kōtō Ninjutsu "Kage Bunshin" ．．．Koitsu hyotto suru to．．．Hontō ni dono Hokage wo mo．．．

Naruto: Hehe．．．Chitto yari sugichatta

Iruka: ．．． Naruto chotto kocchi koi. Omae ni watashitai mon ga aru！

Naruto: Sensei．．． Mada?

Iruka: Yoshi！ Mō me akete ī zo．．．

My Translation:

Iruka: Hmm! To think he truly duplicated himself into one thousand clones... What's more......They're not afterimages (instead they're) High-level Ninjutsu "Kage Bunshin" that produces materialised bodies... Perhaps this boy... (Will) truly (surpass) any Hokage...

Naruto: Hehe... I overdid it a bit

Iruka: ...Naruto come here for a sec. There's something I want to hand over to you!

Naruto: Sensei... Not yet?

Iruka: All right! Open your eyes...

Rōmaji:

Iruka: Sotsugyō．．．Omedetō. Kyō wa sotsugyō iwai da rāmen wo ogotte yaru！！ Wa! Itē yo oi．．

Iruka: Naruto. Shinobi ni totte hontō ni taihen nano wa kore kara da！！Tte sekkyō suru tsumori datta ga. Ma! Sore wa rāmen-ya made gaman shitoite yaru kana．．．

My Translation:

Iruka: Congratulations... on graduating. Today is celebration for graduating (so) I'll treat you ramen!! Whoa! That hurts oi..

Iruka: Naruto for us shinobi it's truly going to be hard from now on!! ― I was going to lecture him of that but. Well! (I'll) probably going to hold in until we are in the ramen stall...

#personal #my translation #naruto #iruka

[callmesinn]

Hola,

it's been a while. Tantas cosas han pasado que ni se por donde empezar.

For starters - I mentioned in my previous post about anxiety that I wanted to begin going to therapy, but money was an issue. Well, I got myself a decent medical insurance plan where I am able to afford therapy sessions. I was fortunate enough to be paired up with an AMAZING LCSW who has helped me tremendously. (I'll go more into my experience with therapy in a separate post)

Relationship status - on standby. Still with that toxic partner that I'm so crazily in love with. Fast forward 4 years and we have both cheated on each other for reasons that I will go into on another post. Despite all of the bullshit we have been through, we love each other and are wanting to stay together? But it's difficult even more so after hurting each other and neither of us know where to go from here. It's a confusing and hurtful mess.

School - I have now graduated with an AA in Psychology and an AA in Child and Adolescent Development. I'm currently attending a university, won't say exactly where to keep in anonymous, but I'm almost done with my BA in Psychology. After that, it'll be a LCSW MA program. God, I can't wait to be done. It's been stressful to say the least, but it'll all be worth it. I'll be the first person in my entire family to graduate with a BA degree. My parents are depending on me to make them proud and I will.

Family - I have a beautiful baby god-daughter on the way. She is gunna bring sooo much light into my life I already know it. My parents are in the same shitty position they have always been. My moms physical and mental health continues to deteriorate. It's a lot and one of my biggest stressors.

Mental status - like I mentioned earlier, I am now in therapy myself and I have seen/felt a huge change. The way that I deal/cope with certain situations has bettered drastically and I am learning to be on my own. I cherish time with myself so much more whereas a few years ago I needed to be codependent on someone to function. My anger has also gotten so much better. I'm a work in progress with a lot more to be worked on, but it's going.

A lil update ain't never hurt nobody. My regularly scheduled program will commence beginning today.

xoxo,

SINN

[daddy-socrates]

okay so, in a disappointing and frustrating turn of events, my thesis defense is once again postponed. i got an email like an hour and some ago where the department head said one of my committee members has enough comments and suggested revisions that it would make sense for me to work through them before going to defend it.

which! i get it, they want to make sure i'm at my best before i give the biggest presentation on the biggest project of my whole actual almost-career so far.

but it does feel like "you are bad at philosophy and also you suck. personally"

i know it isn't, and i've already gone through the whole process of mourning or whatever. but im especially bummed because like, 1. i now view my MA thesis the way i view my BA thesis ("technically got the credit" level work). and that sucks. it sucks!!!!!!!! until now i felt almost confident in it!!!!! :(

and 2. im still good to walk at graduation next weekend which is cool, but UNFORTUNATELY i was hoping that i would feel i'd EARNED it by having PRESENTED my thesis. it was always the plan that i would do the final revisions and get the full transcript and actual degree in august, but now graduation feels hollow and fucking fake since i can't defend until late june.

this sucks

#blah blah blah #thesisposting #graduation ceremonies are so important to me #and i planned my tattoo around it as a grad present to myself for having *done the thesis* #i dont want to cancel or reschedule the tattoo again #god im so upset #i know in the grand scheme of things it isn't the worst in the world like i still am getting a lot of amazing stuff done #and i know the committee wants to see me stand tall and strong and proud of my work #but i do feel like a deflated balloon with broken limbs #im still taking tomorrow off from work even though the thesis is postponed again #sad :((((((((((((