#and then said i must write an entire Book on him immediately

[krisdreaming]

Pairing: Sakusa Kiyoomi x gn!reader

WC: 1k

Summary: Among other things, Kiyoomi loves that you always seem to know what he's thinking.

A/N: Hi it's me, writing for Sakusa again even tho I feel like I know next to nothing about his character outside of reading other fics :D

One of the things Kiyoomi loves about you the most is that you always know. He knows he isn't the most expressive guy, but somehow you still manage to read him like an open book.

Take the last party Bokuto threw for the Black Jackals as an example. With everyone's significant others in the mix, it had ended up being quite the crowd. Everyone was talking and laughing, and as the evening wore on he was starting to get sick of the commotion. Bokuto slung an arm around his neck as he laughed loudly at a joke Hinata had told, and Kiyoomi had gritted his teeth, hoping his teammate would move on to his next prey soon enough.

Across the room, he saw you in conversation with Meian and his girlfriend. You happened to glance in his direction, and with a few more words and a smile, you stepped away from them and started toward him.

"Hey, Kiyoomi." At your approach, Bokuto greeted you and finally slid away from him. Kiyoomi let out a sigh, and you laughed softly. "Are you ready to go? I'm starting to get tired." There had been a sparkle in your eyes that suggested that wasn't entirely the truth.

"Yeah, I'm ready," He said too quickly, "Let's go home." You'd said your goodbyes and were stepping out into the cool night air within a few minutes. Immediately, he'd felt the weight lifting from him.

"Thanks," He breathed out softly, glancing sideways at you on the way to the car.

"It was really warm in there, wasn't it?" You said in response, sliding your hand in the crook of his elbow and giving his arm a comforting squeeze. You flashed a smile at him, and that was that.

Then, a few weeks ago, he'd forgotten his lunch. It had irked him, because you'd prepared it for him just the way you knew he liked, and now your work would be going to waste. On top of that, there were few things he enjoyed less than buying a quick meal at a convenience store, especially when he had practice for the rest of the day. It was always as though he could feel it settling wrong in his stomach. The fact that he knew nothing about the methods of its preparation didn't help matters any.

Still, when you'd texted him offering to bring his lunch for him, he'd refused. He knew you had a busy day, and the last thing you needed was to waste part of your own lunch break to bring him the meal he'd forgotten. Just this once, he was sure he could select something that would do from the convenience store down the street.

That was why he was surprised to see you mere moments after practice broke for lunch. You lifted the bento box with a smile, showing off the matching one you must have prepared for yourself.

"I knew the rest of your day would just feel completely off without having your lunch," You'd said with a shrug, "And I just wanted you to be able to practice at your best!" You'd shared the lunch break with him, and after that hour with you and the meal you'd prepared for him, he threw himself gladly into the remainder of practice. He'd felt on top of the world.

Just two days ago, he'd come home from practice more than ready for the upcoming weekend. The week had felt like it dragged on forever, and he wanted nothing more than to take a long, hot shower and then crawl beneath the fresh, clean sheets with you tucked against him. He just wanted to forget that the rest of the world existed.

When he stepped through the door, he was immediately met with the comforting scents of the dinner you were preparing. "Welcome home!" You'd chirped, and he'd let his hands linger on your hips for just a few moments as he pressed a kiss to your lips. It felt so good to be home.

"So, I thought we could go grocery shopping this evening," You'd said as you turned back to the stove. "We're getting kind of low on some things, and I just planned out a few meals for next week."

He felt a pit forming in his stomach, but he bit back his sigh. "Okay, sure." He tried to keep his irritation out of his tone. He knew you hated doing the shopping on your own, especially in the evenings. You'd turned toward him and tilted your head, assessing him for a moment before you turned to the cupboard and reached for some plates to set the table. You didn't say anything.

You were halfway through the meal before you spoke up. "You know, I think we should just stay home tonight." You said suddenly. "It's already getting dark, and I bet the selection would be better tomorrow afternoon, anyway."

His lips parted in silence for a few moments. "Are you sure?" He finally asked.

You grinned. "Yup. Let's just relax tonight, okay?"

"Okay by me," He said gratefully. You'd insisted he get in the shower while you cleaned up the dishes, and by the time he was out of the bathroom, the dishes were drying and the counters were wiped down. He found you in your pajamas, and you beckoned him to join you in bed.

He didn't need any convincing, and the moment he was under the covers, you'd maneuvered his head onto your chest, your fingers scratching soothingly through his curls.

"You had a tough week, huh?" You murmured. He only hummed in response, the 'tough week' already fading into memory under your gentle ministrations.

"Sorry you didn't get to go shopping," He'd finally whispered, and he felt the press of your lips on the crown of his head.

"I think this is a better use of our time," you had said softly.

There have been countless moments just like these. Moments when you show him again and again that you love him, that you see him. Every single time, it becomes more and more apparent to him. There's one more thing he wants to make sure you to know.

This is one thing he needs to tell you, in case you never do quite work it out on your own. When he sinks down on one knee, he's never been more certain of anything. "I love you so much, and there's no one I'd rather spend my life with than you. Every single day is yours, if you'll marry me."

#haikyuu #haikyuu fluff #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x reader

[queenshelby]

Forbidden Desire (Part Four)

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Reader (Female/Incestuous)

Warnings: Incest (at this stage accidental), Age Gap, PTSD, Domestic Abuse, Self-Harm, Fluff, Mild Smut

Words: 5,456

Summary:

This plays after Grace��s death but before Tommy becomes a politician. Lizzie is pregnant with Tommy’s child, so it is somewhere around season four.

In this fic, Tommy suffers from episodes of PTSD and so does the reader, resulting from trauma and abuse. They will help and save each other without realising that their connection is much stronger than they could have anticipated.

There will be love, fluff and smut as well as a highly taboo relationship.

PLEASE COMMENT AND ENGAGE!

QUESTION: WHO IS TOMMY TO THE READER? WHOOPS!

YOUR POV

The following day, you again, arrived at the gambling den on time only to find out that Tommy was not there and neither were any of his brothers.

Polly and Michael too were absent from the den that day and the only person who barged in at around 9 o’clock was a woman by the name of Linda.

She was blonde and beautiful, with lovely curls and hypnotic eyes. She appeared stressed however and when you introduced yourself to her, she chuckled.

“I know who you are. My husband told me about you this morning” the woman then said and you queried her.

“Your husband?” you asked, not knowing who she was married to.

“Arthur Shelby. He is my husband and I believe that, last night, you met him, at the state library” Linda explained before sitting down and looking through the betting book.

“Yes, I did. He seemed nice” you acknowledged before thinking back to last night which is when Arthur, who happened to be Tommy’s oldest brother, came to find him. He too was in a panic last night, telling Tommy that he found someone they have been looking for. An acquaintance of some sort and, with that, Tommy had to leave rather abruptly.

Leaving you with his car and the key to the library, Tommy said goodbye without a kiss and it was almost like he did not want his brother to know about the fact that he took a liking in you.

Why this was the case, you did not know but, somehow, it was bothering you. You felt as though he was embarrassed by the way he had met you, in less than ideal circumstances and, the idea of Tommy being ashamed of you, was stuck in your head for the entire night.

You got no sleep whatsoever and needed to know the true nature behind Tommy’s intensions. Why was he so afraid of showing his feelings towards you in front of others? Was this just a game to him? Something to kill his boredom with perhaps?

“Y/N” you then suddenly heard Linda as, clearly, you were daydreaming and thinking too much about last night.

“Yes Linda” you responded almost reluctantly.

“Are you alright taking some bets today? Because we will be on our own until 3 o’clock” she then said and you realised that she must have asked you this very same question just seconds ago to which, clearly, you had failed to respond.

“Yes, I can take bets. You may just need to help me write them down. I am okay with numbers, but complex words are a different story” you admitted to her before asking where everyone was.

“There was an incident last night, near the docks in Camden Town” Linda told you but this did not really answer your question.

“What sort of incident?” you thus asked but Linda shrug her shoulders.

“Business I suppose” Linda said. “My husband never really tells me everything but, what I know is that Tommy was shot last night and this is why he isn’t here today. Lizzie cancelled all of his meetings” Linda explained and your chin dropped while fear began to overwhelm you.

“Oh my god Linda. You need to tell me what happened to Tommy” you demanded, but Linda did not, immediately, answer your question.

“So it is true what Lizzie said. You have taken a liking in Tommy” Linda observed instead. “My oh my, little one. You know you don’t stand a chance, right? Tommy is not a man who is faithful. Despite, he is marrying Lizzie, so…” Linda then went on to say but you did not care and repeated your question.

“Linda, is Tommy okay?” you asked again, to which, finally, you received an answer.

“Yes. He is fine. It is not the first time he got shot and the man who shot him is now laying in a ditch somewhere. My husband made sure of that” Linda told him while you were quick to reach for your coat, causing Linda to ask where you were going.

“I need to see him” you told her, causing Linda to roll her eyes.

“No, you don’t. What you need to do is to help me run this office. Tommy will be just fine” Linda said sternly before making an observation. “You have no idea what Tommy does, do you?” she then asked but the question was a rhetorical one. “He may be my brother in law, but he is not a good man” she furthermore said. “It is because of Tommy that my husband is acting the way he does. He had found God after having been jailed for his crimes, but now he is back carrying our Tommy’s dirty work. It’s appalling and you should stay away from him” Linda finally mentioned to you but this was not all she had to say.

“I know about you. I know about your stepfather too. Tommy is looking for him’” Linda revealed and you gasped momentarily in response.

“What are you talking about?” you wanted to know, seeing that you were not aware of any business Tommy had with your stepfather.

“You think that Tommy chose you out of kindness or love?” Linda chuckled after realising how oblivious you were. “Lizzie is right. You are naïve. Your stepfather has a gambling debt with Shelby Company Limited and went into hiding after using a false identity to steal from Tommy’s family business. Tommy wants to recover the debt and make him pay for stealing from him. This is why he needs you” Linda then told you and it all started to make sense now.

Tommy did not like you. He was using you. This was all you were to him.

“I need to go Linda” you then told her as you were trying hard to hold back your tears. You were feeling betrayed and upset by what Linda had told you and, even though you still could not be sure about Tommy’s true intentions towards you, you were almost certain that you were nothing but a means to an end. 

To be continued…

Please comment and engage. I love getting comments and predictions pretty please!

Tommy Shelby Tag List:

@fastfan

@elenavampire21

@dolllol2405

@allie131313

@cilliansangel

@coldbastille

@kpopgirlbtssvt

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@peaky-cillian

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@queenshelby

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@esposadomdp

@lulunalua23

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@bookklover23

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@moonmaiden1996

@marlenamallowan

@cyphah (cannot tag)

@majesticcmey

@cleverzonkwombatsludge

@throughgoeshamilton

@alessioayla

@elenavampire21

@justforfiction

@cilliansangel

@alannielaraye (cannot tag)

@satellitelh

@simplyreading96

@idledream​s

@vic-top​

#Tommy Shelby #thomas shelby #tommy shelby fanfiction #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby smut #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x you #thomas shelby fanfic #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby smut #thomas shelby imagine #thomas shelby x you #thomas shelby x y/n #peaky blinders fanfic #Peaky Blinders #peaky blinders au #peaky blinder #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders smut #cillian murphy fanfic #cillian murphy #cillian murphy fanfiction #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy x you #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy imagine

[blueberrypancakesworld]

If you’re taking headcanon requests, I have a very specific idea for Frollo that’s been living rent free in my head for awhileeeeeee.

Imagine Frollo being summoned as a ghost into the modern world by a nonbinary spirit medium or witch. Just, let this man loose his entire mind as a FAR too lovely witch is running around chatting with ghosts, and trying to calm him tf down in the process XD

Probably doesn’t help that “nonbinary witch” would probably sound like evil itself to Frollo lol

The horror of the new day

Frollo x nb!reader

warning : just some funny things and a very confused Frollo

Info : Thanks for this request @add-a-bit-of-neurospice it was an interesting idea/concept but was like I said really,really fun to write. Frollo just in our time and dies again of the ,,sins" he sees everywhere :) I hope you like it and have fun reading ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hell had been his home since he had fallen into the flames in front of Notre Dame, the stone had crushed his body and the flames had not left him as ashes, he had been in hell.

His faith was right after his soul had left his body he found himself in. The infinite inferno was burning again, an eternal flame that tormented him until he threatened to lose his mind.

Time was irrelevant and he no longer had any feeling for it except the pain of seeing the souls of his victims and enemies pass by, but he hardly paid any attention to them.

Until one day in infinite time he felt his body rise from the flames and was freed. It had to be God he was convinced as the flames around him. Around him became less and less.

The darkness enveloped him before he heard a distant voice calling out to him, saying his name. Looking around for the person, his soul coalesced into the image, his body easily visible around the ring that had suddenly appeared.

He was heavier than the flames, heavier than the pain and it held him. It held him until the darkness around him receded, his voice became clearer and when he lifted his gaze he was standing in a room. ,,What is this?" he asked, confused as to why his jellyfish had ended because when he ascended he was supposed to be in the clouds, singing and becoming an angel.

,,Oh my Lillith, it worked!" he heard the voice more clearly and saw the right person. The first thing he noticed was the pointed hat and the necklace with the pentagram. A witch someone he would have burned immediately if he still had the time.

But when he looked further at the she-devil, he saw pants instead of a dress and her hair was short. A demon. ,,Demon, why did you call me?" he asked, a hint of fear in his voice, it must be a powerful being if it could summon him with a ring. ,,Demon? Oh no, I'm a witch, a medium do you understand Frollo?" the person asked him and continued to walk around the room excitedly, collecting ingredients, clothes and books and muttering to themselves.

It was a sight that confused and unsettled him. It couldn't be his time, in his time there was no glowing sun on the ceiling, no clocks that seemed so small and thin.

And this glowing book on which his summoner was typing only confused him even more. Suddenly he felt the ring that had summoned him glow and he understood even less what was going on. ,,Okay, Frollo, listen. You are in the year 2023 and I have to ask you a few questions for a assignment," he listened to the demon and gradually realized that hundreds of years must have passed.

Hundreds of years in which he suffered that felt like the eternal time of an hourglass. The world and especially the church seemed to have changed.

The more he saw of this wonderful space, the more he realized that there was neither a cross nor a holy image of Jesus and Mary. ,,Two thousand and twenty-three... and you demon summoned me?" he asked hesitantly and stopped in front of a glass box with a sun in it and saw a snake inside.

The demon's soul animal. He turned back to the strange creature in disgust. ,,Yes, I did, to be more precise, my first summoning. How do you feel, or rather, what was it like to fall to your death like that?" The person asked again and the spirit looked down at the ring.

The world was strange to him things had changed and yet the hellfire had stopped. Talking was not a sin and if it meant staying away from the fire why not...nothing could be worse than hellfire. ,,I fell dear summoner creature, the flames had surrounded me but not caught me. It was the stone that broke my body before the fire could take me," he began to tell, walking around the room and seeing the interested look on his necromancer's face.

He saw how the summoner continued to make notes while he told his life story.

It felt good to talk again and not just think about pain. And the longer he talked, the more interested his counterpart became. Maybe he even told untruths, lies, but in order to be heard, to be right and not get caught in the fire, he would tell this witch, this demon everything.

Even after death, his justification and his guilt had not changed. But why should it? He had a listener who believed it and that was all that mattered in the here and now.

Even though he had to admit that the longer he looked around this strange room, told his story and listened to the witch, he was still interested in these new things around him. Maybe he would have to make a contract to take on this kind of witchcraft.

He even had to smile once when he managed to scare the stranger. When he showed him the picture when he died. However, this only led to the stranger turning on music or something similar on the glowing book and starting to pray wildly and say prayers.

It was very confusing and these words like cell phone, light bulb and non-binary were things he called divine and devil. But all this time he started to like the company when he sat down in the chair that was touched by the witch, giving him access.

Even if his gaze went to the suns around him, his gaze was always on his savior while Frollo strove over the ring…for a moment he was completely grateful to have been saved…maybe there was still hope…for his soul in the end.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hope you enjoyed it @add-a-bit-of-neurospice

#the hunchback of notre dame #disney movies #judge claude frollo #judge claude frollo x reader #claude frollo #judge frollo #claude frollo x reader #judge frollo x reader

[livewithyura]

you may have just written the perfect smut….. So you have inspired me: Dating Tekken 6/blood vangance Jin Sfw and Nsfw headcanons

Tekken 6 Jin x Fem Reader! Headcanon ! ✦( sfw/nsfw )

Pairing : Tekken 6 Jin/Fem reader .

Warning : MINOR DNI , NSFW.

Answer : OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH! I was embarrassed by myself while writing smut , thank you for that words! That's a hard request since Tekken 6 Jin is a TOTAL JERK! But I also think he has that 'twisted' kindness in him since he's born to be a Kazama child! Hope you enjoy anon , I'm not that expert in writing and I tried so hard to keep him in character. I hope I done your request nicely .

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ REQUEST OPEN! [ ALL TEKKEN CHARACTERS ]

Information about request : Sorry! I will try to do it faster! I have a history exam in next week so just put it in my inbox I will make sure to make it. But don't worry I will try to do one or 2 in a day . I just organize my time for my writing so you guys can still request! Btw all of the request are so good! probably will make it!

SFW !

Jin's love language's totally 'act of service' . He's not good at paraphrasing his own words . He also believes that actions speak louder than words . You always find yourself receiving a bouquet of flower and Your comfort food at your own table . He will also write 'it reminded me of you' on a sticky notes .

He's a frickin CEO of a big military company , he must be rich asf but he never admit it . He always hands you his black card as casually as if he were giving you a piece of paper. He also will spoil you too much . He will bring you to a lavish restaurant and shopping trip just to spoils you .

You receive a gifts almost everyday . Expensive jewelry , a big ass teddy bear , flowers .

Yes, at one point, you mentioned your love for reading books, and he went ahead and bought the book café just for you.. "You know the book café from street 191?" "Yes...wait...DON'T TELL ME YOU JUST--" "It's yours now" "EH WHY?" "Princess , I tell you It's yours now . Don't let me repeat myself"

You can order a coffee or other beverages for free and read a latest popular book in there .

He will also act like he's busy with work . But thinking the fact you will go alone is much WORSE .

"Jin...I thought you have a business call?" "the meeting wrapped up early , I kinda bored so I'm here to be with you . Please appreciate my effort as I willingly to join your stupid shopping spree" Meanwhile his inner monologue : [I hurried over as soon as possible because I care about you, damn it.

"Stupid shopping spree..? If you don't want to be here then it's okay? I don't ask you to be here , you can rest" "For you [Y/N], I would rather be bored 'here' than being alone without you"

More textual evidence that shows he's actually care for you Whenever you're leaving his side while choosing clothes, he goes into a frenzy trying to find you. "Please search for [Y/N]," he immediately instructs his bodyguard to locate you.

"I'm right here dude" "god dammit [Y/N]" after that , you will make fun of him .

Yes , you're his pet . But whenever you're mad or hurt he will switch up and be your pet . "Do you want anything princess?" "Are you sick? You don't eat the dessert that I bought for you , tell me what's wrong?" He will positioned himself below you whenever you're sick or mad at him .

This man would prefer to endure an awkward conversation with you than be separated from you.

He always invite you to his office whenever you're free . "So..Jin..what do you want?" "Just stay"

He rent a penthouse just for you two to hangout , the penthouse symbolize the sense of comfort in himself . He becomes incredibly open about himself when he's in that penthouse with you.

He will have a shower with you , sitting in the bath up and caresses your body/hair/face "Even when you're being incredibly annoying....I still love...I will always come back to you.." He said that while stroking your wet hair .

He will put you into bed , "Can we just spend the entire night..with you on top of me...princess?"

Also , he will picks you up with his motorcycle . "Hop on , princess. I will take you far away from here...if you don't mind?" He will leave a slight smirk while looking at you . "So evil" That's the words that entertain him .

NSFW ! [ MINOR DNI ]

He's dominant , he want to be on top of you , bullying your sweet little cunt with his huge cock . He always remind you , your place when he's in charge . "Who do you belong to , princess?" "You"

He enjoys public sex but not too much , he still want a privacy . He loves the fact that you try to not make noise while his cock bury in your tight little cunt . He loves to fuck you in his office and um his HELICOPTER . [ whenever he's alone , he ask Nina to leave him with you in his helicopter ]

He also don't care when he's on the phone , He will fuck your pussy anyways . "This is Jin" He picks up the phone while his dick's still inside of you continue to fuck while he discussing his business with Nina or Eddy .

"Where's your panties , sweet little thing? My sweet princess really want to cum in my private helicopter hm?" He said that while circling your clits while his hand firmly grasps your chin.

He loves to see you playing with yourself , he bought a toy just for you to play with it . Watching you fucking yourself with his toy that he bought for you just send him into paradise . "Yes princess , cum for me" he said that while his eyes ogling your body .

Whenever you're not with him , he will make you wear a vibrator . You think it's hot so you just agree with it until you clit is swollen and wet because of it . Finally you face him in his office "Lift up your skirt , princess " He will remove it if you're not comfortable with it . He will apologize seeing your pussy being wet because of the vibrator . "Sorry princess , how was your day?"

He loves to place you on his lap , make you riding his lap while he bounce you on his leg . "Say the magic words princess"

Then he will make you hop on his cock .

Oh this man love spanking you but only when you're disobeying him . "Count for me princess" then he start to spank your ass while your entire body on his lap . "I don't know this spanking session can make your cunt this wet , princess"

He don't like to breed you or cum inside you .

Instead , he will cum on your face . "Ah...Such a messy princess"

★ Written by @livewithyura Why you want to copy this crap? I also take inspiration from my fav romance novel . You can reblog and share !

#tekken #tekken x reader #jin kazama #tekken x y/n #tekken fanfic #tekken smut #tekken fanfiction #jin kazama x reader

[chuusposts]

the reason i live is to die with you

summary: xiao, kazuha, albedo, aether with a suicidal! reader (aka dazai)

warnings: minor angst(?), mention of suicide, double suicide, suicide thoughts, suicide attempts (everything that's related to suicide)

notes: i tried writing for genshin hehe (also if you don't know who dazai is, he's an anime character (and a real person) who has attempted suicide for many times but also failed each time) part 02 :')

xiao

the first time he met you was when you tried to jump off the wangshu inn balcony. he heard you say something like "the weather is so clear, do you think this world is going to fall apart?" and he was like '???'

when you noticed his presence, you asked him the same question and if he'd like to be your suicide partner, "it feels so lonely to leave this world by myself, so how about you join me instead?" while giving him the most idiotic smile.

when he refused, you immediately pout and started to climb up the rail obviously trying to jump off. but your suicide attempt failed when xiao teleported behind you and held your wrist "what the hell do you think you're doing?!"

he's even more confused when you grimaced and sent him a sharp glare.

later after he got close to you (after he tried to stop your suicide attempt a few times) he learned that attempting for a suicide is your second nature so the next time you ask him for a double suicide he would just shrug it off.

but sometimes he does get worried like what if one day he comes back to you just to find out you're not in this world anymore? he already lost his friends, no way he's gonna lose you next. so he always make sure to check on you from time to time especially if you're out of his sight for too long just to make sure you're safe.

kazuha

kazuha was at ritou's dock admiring the beauty of narukami island before he departed to liyue in a few hours. but you just had to come up to him and asked him, "kazuha, how long do you think it will take for you to find my body if i drown in the sea?"

he was shocked at first but after he realised it was you, he just laughed it off and smiled, "well, i prefer if you don't drown at all"

you smiled at his words, "then you must wanted to die alongside with me, right?" he then cupped your cheeks with his hands, "dear y/n, why do you wish to die?"

"let me ask you, then. do you really think there's any value in the act of living? i've been living my entire life, and i still can't find a reason for me to live."

kazuha was speechless, he already asked himself the same question many times. does he simply live because of what happened to his friend? because his friend left him prematurely without that of a goodbye? and he figured, the problem is that he loved him. he loved all of his friends so much he's afraid if he leaves this world, other people will feel the exact same way as he did and it pained his heart just thinking about it.

that's why in that instant, kazuha swears to himself; that he'll protect you until you find your reason to live. in this world, and the next, he'll always protect you.

albedo

it was still dark when albedo arrived at his lab in dragonspine. what he didn't expect was to be met with a panicked sucrose, "mr. albedo, please help us!" she said, pointing at you who looked like you were on cloud nine.

as he made his way to you, albedo realized that you're actually... high? really? early in the morning? "just look, i've finally arrived in the afterlife! to the land of the dead, khaenri'ah!" you laughed hysterically.

albedo was confused, "sucrose, what's going on?" sucrose looked around a bit before picking a half eaten mushroom and a book titled 'complete guide to suicide'. she read and explained to albedo about the method you were using when you suddenly jumped on her, still high.

albedo sighed, seemingly used to your antics, "wait a minute sucrose, let me finish my paperwork first." sucrose was struggling so much, she even tried to fight you off but you still succeeded wrapping her full body and face with crape bandages making her look like a mummy.

you came to sit in front of him, poking and pinching his cheeks, begging him to come with you to the afterlife while he focused on his paperworks.

after it what felt like a good five minutes, albedo put his pen down, cupped your cheeks in his hand and stared straight into your eyes, "strange, most people fear death but at the same time they are drawn to death. yet why are you so different from them? maybe i should spend more time with you so i can learn about you..."

aether

"you're a man as ephemeral and elegant as a lotus blossom. would you be willing to join me in a double suicide-"

'bbong!' you were proposing aether for a double suicide when paimon suddenly hit you in the head causing you two to bickered.

"at least wait for him to find his sibling first!" paimon shouted. she's not wrong; you should've at least waited for him to reunite with lumine first before you died with him, "but that would take forever!" after all, all you wanted to do was to leave this world as soon as possible.

that's why you offered to accompany him throughout his journey. aether was glad, not because you wanted to commit double suicide with him but because he can always keep his eyes on you.

moreover, he doesn't have to worry about you committing double suicide with other people. though he must admit that he's a bit jealous when you suddenly ask random people to join for your double suicide especially if they're good looking (you're loyal to him so obviously you were joking)

one day, you were explaining to him why living is so useless and why he should join you for your double suicide saying your reason to live is to die with him. aether listened to you attentively when he suddenly sighed and smiled softly, "but y/n, if you think of me as your reason to live, then i'll take it upon myself to keep you alive."

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact imagines #xiao x reader #kazuha x reader #aether x reader #albedo x reader #albedo kreideprinz #genshin headcanons #genshin imagines #genshin impact #genshin fluff #genshin impact xiao #genshin impact kazuha #genshin impact aether #genshin impact albedo #xiao fluff #kazuha fluff #albedo fluff #aether fluff #genshin fanfic #xiao headcanons #kaedehara kazuha x reader #kazuha headcanons #albedo headcanons #aether headcanons #genshin x you #dazai #fic: the reason i live is to die with you

[actual-changeling]

I have tried to find a way to word this that isn't accusatory because that is not my goal here, but after writing and rewriting this a dozen or more times I've given up. I'm just upset about it all but I don't intend this to be taking it out on you specifically. I am truly sending it in good faith!

It's been incredibly difficult to be an ace fan with ace headcanons lately because of constant "Let. Them. Fcuk!" shouts from all corners, as though A/C must have sex on screen for their relationship to count. There are many posts insisting all headcanons are valid followed immediately by more posts insisting they have to be sexual creatures because of this or that reason and any thought to the contrary is just wrong. My "favorites" are the ones arguing that because they love human things so much then of course they must want to have sex because all humans want to have sex!

Needless to say as a human who has never once in my life wanted to have sex I find that incredibly othering. It's not the only argument that's been verging hard into acephobic and exclusionary rhetoric lately either.

Ace people can and do have sex. Ace people can also be sex repulsed or just uninterested. Aziraphale and Crowley could easily be any of those things just as easily as they could be sexual beings. What we see in the show and the book are two beings who canonically have demonstrated nothing about their thoughts on sex and sexuality. There are things some take as hints at a sexual nature but those same things can be read as something entirely nonsexual. As Neil said, sometimes an oxrib is just an oxrib. Canonically and textually all that scene shows is the birth of Aziraphale's hedonistic (in the philosophical sense of the term) desires. And yet, as hedonistic as that scene is, it is still not inherently sexual. It's one possible valid reading of the subtext to be sure but also not the only possible valid reading. You can take that scene to mean Aziraphale's gonna screw Crowley's brains out the second they avert Apocalypse 2.0 or you can take it to mean he's gonna drag him on a whirlwind tour of the dessert trays of every good restaurant in town instead. Both are valid interpretations of what Aziraphale going to town on that rib could be representing and neither is more correct. Both readings fit under the hedonism umbrella but true hedonism does not and has never mandated sexual activity. Aziraphale is a fine example of an ethical hedonist and yet his canonical hedonism is not concrete proof that he must want to have sex, as I have seen argued. Hedonism can include sex but it can also be entirely focused on food and drink or art and music or philosophy. Yes, you can be asexual and a hedonist, they are not contradictions in terms.

As a final note I just want to add my own stance on it. I personally think they may be idly curious about sex, perhaps enough to indulge now and then, but it's not something either feels they need in their relationship to feel valid and loved. I also feel I must say that I don't agree with the faction that says they'd be too pure as non-humans to even consider sex as an option. I find that just as othering, in a different way, as saying they must want sex because all humans do.

And so finally I come to my question at the end of all the rambling. If every headcanon is valid as canon does not show their thoughts on sex one way or the other, then why is it fine to see them as sexual and insist it has to be in the show and yet worthy of mocking to see them as ace and to not want a sex scene?

Good faith recognized and accepted, so no worries on that front.

I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to send the message in the first place, it's one of the reasons I always have anon asks on. I don't mind playing middle man (gn) for fandom discussions.

Edit: I just realised I might not have made it clear enough, but I'm alloaro myself, so same hat and all.

If every headcanon is valid as canon does not show their thoughts on sex one way or the other, then why is it fine to see them as sexual and insist it has to be in the show and yet worthy of mocking to see them as ace and to not want a sex scene?

The short answer is that it is not fine to mock or attack people for their headcanons, and I really wish I could tell you that it's simply a matter of kindness or working through some aphobia, but it's so, SO much more complicated than that.

I will try my best to explain my interpretation of why the above happens, but if I lose anyone at any point, don't hesitate to ask questions! Hopefully my red string will hold though.

The problem you describe is not specific to this fandom, it will pop up in literally every single one at some point or other, and in some corners it turn into queerphobia on all sides just being thrown around.

With Good Omens in particular, the canon Neil gives us is incredibly pliable, everything and nothing can apply, and you are not restricted by gendered subtext or implications. It's great! It really is! BUT it also means that people start projecting heavily on a character, headcanoning their specific labels for them, etc. which by itself isn't a problem.

It becomes one when a headcanon that does not align with theirs suddenly feels like a personal attack—as if headcanoning that character as something you aren't is invalidating your identity through that character. I hope that makes sense, simple version is people project a lot, and it gets very messy very fast.

Queer sexuality has a long and complicated history, and I really recommend to everyone to read up on i at least a little. In the media, you usually get one of two depictions of it: predatory or pornographic. Both suck, both are bad representation, both further already existing stereotypes.

However, that means any depictions of queer people that are not one of the above tend to be non-sexual to a point where the intention behind certain choices is very clear. Queer sexuality is bad and dirty, it should be hidden away, and is only allowed to exist if it can be consumed by cishet people or used for their amusement.

So where does that leave us with Good Omens?

Many people are desperate for good representation, myself included, and with the way Neil is writing the show, everything is possible, and some things even likely. He said himself that one of the reasons for the kiss was the destruction of deniability of their relationship.

We need to have queer sexuality on our screens because otherwise it will always be seen as other, and queer relationships will be denied on the basis of a 'lack of intimacy'. It sucks, it is completely inaccurate, and unfair, but that is where we are.

If we take this information and tie it back to the projection issues I talked about in the beginning, I think it's possible to understand the point I'm trying to make.

Suddenly it is no longer the character's sexuality that is not shown but their own, and that opens Pandora's box for all kinds of difficult emotions.

Everything above also applies to aspec people, just that most of us are usually looking for a lack of something rather than a presence, which is not better or worse than wanting queer sexuality explicitly shown. People end up butting heads—and it gets incredibly personal way too quickly—because you have group A, who want to see a sex scene because of above reasons, and then you have group B, who would prefer for that not to happen.

While that's a perfectly fine headcanon to have (and it SHOULD be respect, every hc should be), some people from A will see a post about them never having sex and interpret it (mostly subconsciously, I presume) as an attempt to repress queer sexuality from being shown.

The 'solution' (easier said than done) to the problem is learning when to step back and how to recognize when one is getting too caught up in their character(s)—or simply how to not be an asshole and scroll past something. Tumblr has great blacklist and blocking features, use them, people.

Bottom line, harassing people for their headcanons or other fandom ideas is rude, inappropriate, and makes you an asshole that needs to log off and go on a fucking walk.

#alex answers asks #alex talks good omens #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #good omens season 2 #good omens fandom #go2 #aziracrow #crowley x aziraphale #ineffable husbands #ineffable wives #ineffable spouses #fandom discussion

[tetsumie]

𝐈 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋

pairing: kuroo x gen!neutral reader

genre: angst

a/n: slightly self indulgent :( but anyways this is my first fic on this blog and i'm trying to get back into writing again which feels really nice <3 also i miss my boy kuroo :(

god, how you wish you wouldn't have to do what you're about to do.

sitting on the bench in front of the lake, you fiddle with your fingers waiting for your boyfriend, kuroo, to show.

it wasn't a date or anything and he told you he was coming from a study group with some friends to meet you. the whole thing was an incredibly sporadic meetup.

"y/n!" you hear his voice and you turn your neck to see him slightly jogging towards you with his messy hair.

"hi tetsu," you reply with a small smile on his face.

he slows down his pace as he reaches you and his lips turn upwards into that smirk that you've grown to love in the months of your relationship with him.

his stupid little smirk.

"did i keep you waiting for too long?" he asks you.

you shook your head. "no no no! i was just looking at the lake for a bit and listening to some music. don't worry about it."

"sorry... study group kind of got carried away. organic chem is kicking our asses," he replies with a chuckle and you let out one as well.

"but... i did get you flowers!" he pulls out a bouquet of white carnations and your heart flutters but the feeling is immediately retracted when you remind yourself why you called him over.

"t-tetsu, you really didn't have to," you begin to stammer.

"sure i didn't have to but i wanted to," he kisses your cheek. "anything for my pretty."

he puts the bouquet in your hands and sits with you on the bench, viewing the lake with you. you're unusually quiet and kuroo feels something is off.

as he's about to ask you what's wrong, you intervene with, "tetsu can we walk for a bit?"

"y-yeah sure."

the both of you stand up and begin to walk around the sidewalk surrounding the lake. people of all kinds are here. some are walking their dogs, some with their kids, others out on a jog, some riding their skateboards, and more. even couples just like you and kuroo are present.

you still aren't saying anything and any topic kuroo brings up, you're giving curt responses and it's worrying him. what's going on?

"y/n," kuroo's upbeat voice turns to one with a bit of a more stern tone. "stop."

you stop moving and you turn to meet his honey golden brown eyes.

those honey golden brown eyes filled with love and affection just for you.

looking him in the eye was still intimidating to you even after all this time and you felt the goosebumps form on your arm.

"what's going on?" he tilts his head. "you haven't said much the entire time we've been here."

you break eye contact and you're looking everywhere else on his face other than his eyes now. you know the moment you look into his eyes, he's going to read you like an open book and you're going to burst into tears.

"my mom and dad want us to break up."

the world around kuroo silences. he can't hear the dogs barking anymore or the sound of the skateboard wheels riding along the cement or the laughter from the children walking around with their families. the only thing he can hear are your words.

"oh."

you can see the heartbreak take over his handsome facial features and you can't help but feel at fault for all of it. it's your fault now that he's upset.

"but why? i didn't do anything! i mean, we haven't formally met, but we've said hello and stuff on call! i don't think i was disrespectful? right, i wasn't disrespectful?" he begins to ramble.

"no, tetsu, you were never disrespectful to them." you reply in a low voice.

"then why do they want us to break up? it doesn't make sense.. we haven't done anything wrong?" he asks.

"they just... they think me in a relationship with you is all too soon. us being in such a committed relationship is too soon."

you bit your lip waiting for his response and his gaze refused to leave your face. "y/n, there must be something more to this. tell me the entirety of their reasoning."

goddammit, he would always be able to read you like an open book.

"they were talking about how... well.. they don't think you're good for me.." you mumble.

he doesn't say anything for a moment and you feel your heart drop. you look at him and now his face is unreadable. you can't seem to figure out what's going through his mind.

"i'll talk to them," determination laced with his voice. "i'll change their mind."

"tetsuro, please..." you grab his wrist and you refuse to look back up at him knowing if you do, the tears will unconventionally fall. "it's not... it's not worth it."

"our relationship is worth it to me!" he says, his voice growing louder. "your parents are trying to pull us apart and you're just letting them! don't you want to try?"

"don't you think i did?!" you reply.

"i told them you're different! i told them how much i love you and how much you care about me and how i'm willing to spend the rest of my life with you if you asked me to! i would do it in a heartbeat! i told them that you, you, are my first love."

he hears the pain in your voice as you begin to tell him.

"kuroo, i never wanted to hurt you but i... i'm in a tough spot where i don't want to hurt my parents but i don't want to hurt you either."

he feels the wet tear droplets on his wrist and he realizes you're crying. and it hits him.

"how long have you been keeping this in?"

"..."

"how long, y/n?"

"about a month now..."

you've known for so long and yet you couldn't tell him. were you that horrified to tell him about it? he sighs. he hates the fact that you're crying.

and a part of him feels responsible for your tears.

"so what now?" he asks. "what do you want to do?"

you begin to wipe your tears, still refusing to look him in the face. you can't bare to see the expression on his face after everything that's been said.

"i... i don't know."

silence fills the space between you too and neither one of you know what to say. you refuse to look at him and he won't stop looking at your figure in front of him, hoping that maybe, just maybe, you'll look up at him.

"y/n," he says with a strength that you weren't expecting from him. "look at me... please?"

it comes out as more of a request and you can't not look up at him. your heart breaks even more at the sight. there are tear stains on his face and his eyes are stained light red.

his eyes. his honey golden brown eyes. the ones that would hold a soft gaze reserved just for you have now turned erratic and empty altogether.

he looks so vulnerable right now and you feel that it's your fault that your relationship is crumbling so quickly.

"let's break up kuroo," you tell him before he can say anything to sway your heart and mind. "i've been thinking about this for too long and i need to accept my parents' wishes."

his heart chips even more when you call him by his last name. his body screams to stop you from making this decision. he wants to believe this is all some horrifying prank but with the way your eyes are looking at him, he knows it's not.

"okay," he says.

"okay," you reply back.

he bends down a little and takes your face in his palms and you resist the urge to rub your cheek along his familiar palm like you used to. he rubs his thumb along your cheek and you feel the hot tears forming in your eyes.

right as a tear slip pasts your eye, kuroo's lips meet your cheeks and he begins to kiss away every tear that seems to slip away from your eyes.

you're never going to be able to feel his touch on your face again.

you're never going to feel the warmth of his skin on yours again.

you're never going to be able to feel the way his calloused hand fits into yours.

you're never going to be able to feel him again.

his last kiss ends on your lips and you don't have it in you to kiss him back, scared of making a decision you would regret. as he pulls away from you, you open his palm and place the bouquet of flowers back in his hands.

"don't give this back to me; it's yours," he tells you.

"please take it back... i don't want them."

with much hesitation, he takes back the flowers he picked out for you and his arms drop to his sides.

"i love you, you know that right?" you begin to say. "i love you. so fucking much."

he pulls you in for a hug, resting his chin on the top of your head.

"i love you, always," he speaks it into the air and places a chaste kiss on the top of your head.

"i always will."

© tetsumie 2023 all rights reserved 

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu x you #haikyuu kuroo #kuroo x reader #kuroo x y/n #kuroo oneshot #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo angst #kuroo headcanons #kuroo tetsuro x you #kuroo tetsuro oneshot #kuroo tetsuro drabble #kuroo x you #kuroo tetsurō #kuroo hcs #haikyuu comfort #hq x reader #haikyuu fanfiction #sumi's one-shots <3

[auxcordlawd]

Part One: Wandering Thoughts of a Ravenclaw

Summary: 18 year old Ravenclaw student is dating Miles Bletchley (Slytherin), and gets on Professor Snape’s bad side

Warnings: French Kissing, Heavy Petting

Side Note: I prefer long drawn out stories, and this has been a fantasy of mine for quite some time. This is my first time writing fanfic, so lmk any comments, suggestions, feel free.

The snow was finally melting outside the castle, a sign that Easter break was near. After Easter break you only have one more term at Hogwarts, which gives you mixed emotions. You’re excited to start your career, debating between teaching at Hogwarts for Potions or working at St. Mungos as a healer. Both are realistic options due to receiving O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s in Potions, Transfiguration, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Herbology, and Charms.

You were now sitting in Defense Against the Dark Arts which is now taught by none other than Severus Snape. An ornery, greasy haired, hooked nose professor whom most students either feared or despised. Thankfully you never saw his worst as you followed the rules, yet he seemed annoyed by you. Maybe it was because I’ve typically done well in his courses. That is until this term.

You, a Ravenclaw, recently started dating Miles Bletchley, a Slytherin in your same year. He’s been walking you to classes, and just kissed you for the first time while dropping you off at Defense Against the Dark Arts. You can’t quit thinking of it, and are having trouble paying attention. It’s not until Professor Snape drops books heavily in front of you that you realize you completely zoned out.

“Miss (y/l/n)?”

Snape says looking down at me with a scowl.

“Yes Professor?”

You say while blushing, feeling uncomfortable under his harsh gaze.

“I asked you to repeat the spell you would use to lure a dragon to sleep. The one I mentioned not ten minutes ago.”

“Umm.”

Is all you can get out. You completely missed that part of the lesson.

“Detention with me after class. Perhaps you should concern yourself less with boys and focus on your studies Miss (y/l/n).”

Snape said while lowering his voice for the second sentence.

His concern gave you an odd rush.

After class was over you stayed sitting in your seat, holding you breath for what was about to come.

After the last student left he slammed the door, and briskly walked to your desk, his dark cape flowing behind him.

“Miss (y/l/n), I expect this behavior from the hormonal 4th year girls, but you, an 18 year old young woman, should not be daydreaming about a boy during my lecture. I truly could care less about your personal life, but since you have applied to teach Potions next year, I must question your competence.”

“Professor-“

He cuts me off before you can try to defend myself.

“You will be assisting me to grade papers for the 3rd and 4th year students for the next week starting tomorrow. You will arrive directly after dinner in my office ready to work. If you can get though this simple task I will not immediately remove your application from our files.”

“But-“

“All you need to say is ‘Yes, sir’.” He says in a commanding tone telling you the conversation is over.

“Yes, sir.” You say before grabbing your belongings and heading the Ravenclaw common room to process what just happened.

Your career now hanging on a thread by the most temperamental professor at Hogwarts. It took this for you to realize how badly you wanted to teach as opposed to being a healer. As you process this you start to feel angered by the entire evening.

You feel your stomach growl and realize you've almost missed dinner. You run down the spiral staircase and fall into Miles, who catches you with a smile.

“Woah there (y/n), where are you off too so fast?”

Miles states with a smile, still holding your waist. His blue eyes twinkle in a sexy way as he looks at you. You can’t help but admire his short blonde hair and athletic build, no doubt from all those hours on the quidditch field.

“I am starving, ravenous even.”

You say with flirty grin, liking the feel of his hands your waist.

“Come with me.”

He says pulling your hand away from the Great Hall. You follow without question excited for the distraction from the earlier encounter.

He leads you down the grand staircase and whispers the current password to the Slytherin common room. As the door opens you see a delicious looking spread of food being brought by disgruntled looking house elves. You feel a pang of guilt for the elves, but your grumbling stomach wins.

Miles gestures to a green tufted loveseat, and begins filling up a plate for you. He plops down next to you, handing you the full plate. You start scarfing down the delicious meal as Miles watches with amusement.

“Do they starve you over there at Ravenclaw?” He says with a smirk.

You laugh with a full mouth and elbow him in the ribs.

You finish your meal and start chatting with Miles. Your legs draped over his, his hand on your thigh. You start feeling the building desire to kiss him as the common room empties. You climb onto his lap and start to lightly kiss him as he pulls you closer. His tongue slipping into your mouth, your tongue lightly pushing against his as the heat between you builds. One of his hands slides to your ass under your skirt, the other on your ribs just below your breast under your uniform shirt.

“Ahem.”

You jolt up causing Miles to quickly remove his hands. You turn towards the common room door to see a tall dark figure standing there watching you.

“50 points from Ravenclaw, and Miles you will be reporting to Professor Sprout for detention for two weeks directly after your classes.” Professor Snape said with a smirk seemingly directed at you. “Miss (y/l/n), go straight to your dormitory.”

#severus snape x reader #harry potter fanfiction #fanfic #ravenclaw #slytherin #slytherclaw #professor snape #snape fandom #snapedom

[babymetaldoll]

Baby, I'm yours - Chapter eight: “What if I’m someone I don’t want around?”

Warning: Angst, sadness, swearing, Spencer crying and reader is brokenhearted. Sorry. 

Summary: A few days before the wedding, reader discovers something Spencer had been hiding from her. And she doesn't feel like she can trust him again. 

Word count: 11,9K

A/N: I'm sorry... but... seriously, did you think I had forgotten about Spencer's mistake?

Series Masterlist | General Masterlist | Prequel’s Masterlist

Previous chapter | Next chapter

 

Spencer’s point of view

(Y/N) and I had successfully avoided JJ for an entire week. She had been pretty busy with her profiler course and case rotation. We had been busy freaking out with our wedding. Everything was ready and signed, but somehow our friends and family were making sure to keep up stressed and nervous about every single detail of the big day. Our vacation started in four days, our wedding was in twelve, and I still found it hard to believe (Y/N) actually wanted to marry me. But believe me, I wasn’t going to argue with her about it.

- “Just a few more days”- (Y/N) whispered as we held hands in the elevator- “Are you excited about our honeymoon?”

- “I am excited about being married to you, the trip is just a bonus”- she smiled and blushed as the elevator’s door opened in the BAU and immediately we were greeted by JJ and Emily’s voices as they walked our way.

- “Hotch says he's never seen a rookie profiler analyze and write up cases as well as you.”- Prentiss said, clearly to Jennifer.

- “He said that?”- and she acted surprised.

- “Oh shit”- (Y/N) whispered and I held her hand even tighter- “I don’t even want her at the wedding anymore.”

- “I know, chipmunk.”- I started walking faster and dragged (Y/N) with me the second Prentiss and Jennifer showed up by our side.

- “Hey, where have you guys been? I wanted to do brunch this weekend.”- JJ said as soon as we bumped into each other in the hall, but I continued walking and simply ignored her, as I heard (Y/N) reply.

- “We had to deal with some stuff about the wedding. Have you seen Garcia?”

- “Uh, she's with Rossi.”- Jennifer answered and stayed behind as we ran away from her as fast as possible. No, we weren’t being subtle about our anger. But if you asked us back then, we weren’t even trying to be.

- “Suddenly, four more days sound like an eternity”- (Y/N) murmured as we left our things at our desks and I simply shook my head.

- “You’ve got this, chipmunk, trust me. Next Monday we are going to be at home, having coffee on our own.”

- “In a week we are going to be picking up your mom and aunt Ethel from the airport”- I chuckled and shook my head- “But I get the point, just a few more days of this.”

Yes, we were not acting very maturely, I was aware of that. But we were mad and hurt and neither of us wanted to be the bigger man or woman. You get the point. It didn’t help that when we shared the whole story with Frank, Lu, and Mikey, they all supported us. No one should lie to a friend the way JJ lied to us. End of the story.

We had a case

- “I am having a Fellini festival at my house this weekend and I must serve the beautiful food of his country.”- Penelope was talking about food with Rossi, but I didn’t register much of what was being said around the table. I kept reading the book I had started that morning, doing my best to avoid eye contact with JJ, who sat right across the table from us.

- “Maybe you should show a Disney film and stick with burgers.”- Rossi replied and (Y/N) giggled. I held her hand underneath the table and played with her fingers for a minute, enjoying the soothing feeling of her presence.

- “You know, Rossi, you could always give Penelope a cooking lesson.”- I heard Morgan suggesting.

- “Oh, my gosh, that would be amazing. That would be like… that would be like the Iron Chef meets the BAU. And we could do it at your house!”- Garcia was way too excited about it already.

- “I don't have a house. I have a mansion.”- Rossi corrected her, and (Y/N) chuckled at those words.

- “All right, let's get started.”- Hotch’s voice made me leave the book on the table and I immediately glued my eyes on the screen ahead of us. Garcia stood up and started presenting the one that was meant to be the last case (Y/N) and I worked on before our wedding. Somehow, it felt exciting. It was also the first case with JJ officially as a profiler, which wasn’t exciting at all. It meant she was going to be out in the field with us and that only meant having to talk to her.

- “All right. Mes amis, you are jetting to Durant, Oklahoma, because in the last three days, two women have been found dead after being sexually tortured and then blinded with a sulfuric acid solution. Abby Elcott is our first victim, a 19-year-old art student. She was heading to campus for an advanced drawing class. She'd been missing for two days. The same goes for our second victim, Beth Westerly, 17. She had just finished her coffee shop shift and was on her way to a bar method class.”- Pen explained and nearly didn't breathe during her speech.

- “Both low-risk victims.”- Emily pointed out.

- “And obviously physically similar.”- (Y/N) added, considering both girls were young, tall, thin, and with long blonde hair.

- “How close are the two abduction sites?”- Rossi asked and Penelope showed them on the map on the screen.

- “Five miles apart at bus stops. Abby's cell was found near one, Beth's scarf near the other.”

- “Where were the dump sites?”- I asked and she quickly showed me.

- “One in an alley, the other in a field.”

- “So he stapled their eyes open, then he blinded them?”- JJ pointed out and turned to me, maybe waiting for my thoughts or reply. She didn’t get any. Instead, I focused my eyes on the paper and Morgan quickly started talking.

- “It's about power and control. Maybe he didn't want them to watch while he hurt 'em.”

- “Or it could be about shame.”- (Y/N) added and I quickly nodded.

- “Yes, ma cherié. Perhaps the unsub has disfigured himself. Blinding the victims leaves them helpless, lost, and totally dependent. Maybe a manifestation of how he sees himself in this world.”

I never refer to (Y/N) as "cherié" when we are working. Never. It hasn’t slipped in a briefing meeting before, and that day, I did it on purpose. Hotch turned to me and raised an eyebrow just as Emily nodded and continued with my point.

- “It is a form of enucleation, just without the scalpel.”

- “Exactly. His face is the last they see before darkness.”- (Y/N) added and looked at Emily as Hotch grabbed his notes and stood up.

- “Garcia, come up with a list of jobs that would give the UnSub access to sulfuric acid. The rest of us, wheels up in 30 minutes.”

- “We are not being subtle”- (Y/N) whispered as we sat side by side on the couch in the yet. That was our favorite spot when we wanted to be apart from the rest of the team.

- “Do we want to?”

- “No, but I was starting to enjoy not being scolded by Hotch after Ashley’s departure”- I held her hand and kissed it.

- “Four more days”- she nodded with a grin and sighed.

- “It’ll surely be weird not working for an entire month”

- “Oh, are you guys talking about your honeymoon?”- JJ showed up with Emily and I immediately grabbed a book. If it wasn’t work-related, I really didn’t want to talk to JJ.

- “Yes.”- (Y/N) simply replied and stayed quiet.

- “When do you leave?”- JJ asked her and kept looking at her

- “The day after the wedding.”

- “Which is your first stop?”

- “London. I’m gonna make us some tea before we take off.”- my fianceé said and stood up, running away from JJ. I focused on the book and didn’t move a muscle until I was sure JJ and Emily were no longer around me. I wasn’t holding anything against Prentiss, it was JJ the one I blamed, 100% for lying and never comforting (Y/N) or myself during our darkest days.

- “The victimology is very similar. Blonde-haired, blue-eyed teenage girls.”- Hotch started analyzing what we knew so far about the case. He sat by our side and went through the photos. (Y/N) and I kept taking notes as the rest of the team talked.

- “We believe they were each abducted near public transportation stops.”- JJ said and neither of us looked at her.

- “When was this photo taken?”- Prentiss asked and (Y/N) quickly answered.

- “Beth was caught on a bank surveillance camera three hours before she disappeared. That's a recent photo of Abby.”

- “So she wasn't found in the same clothes she was abducted in.”- Em showed us another picture in another outfit.

- “Maybe he changed them because hers were burned by the sulfuric acid.”- Rossi suggested and I answered.

- “It's possible. Sulfuric acid can turn human flesh into soap.”

- “Garcia, any recent similar cases in the surrounding area?”- Hotch asked.

- “Actually, yes. Two months ago, a prostitute and a runaway were both found raped and killed, and they had stab wounds to their eyes.”

- “So maybe he practiced on high-risk victims first.”- JJ pointed out the obvious, again.

- “And then advanced to chemical enucleation.”- Morgan added

- “Isn't that a rare paraphilia?”- JJ asked, and looked at me waiting for an answer. She didn’t get it. Instead, Emily replied.

- “Well, the chemical part is. It would exacerbate the pain.”

- “Like Ed Kemper”- Rossi said- “He's probably practicing on surrogates before going after the real object of his rage.”

- “Dave, you and I will talk to the parents. Morgan and Prentiss, go to the disposal sites. JJ, you (Y/L/N) and Reid to the abduction sites.”- Hotch divided chores and I quickly resumed my reading. (Y/N) shared with me her notes and we started talking about a possible geographical profile.

This wasn’t going to end well, I knew it. I was too mad at JJ to work with her, and (Y/N) was too mad at her as well to stop me.

(Y/N)’s point of view

Of course, Hotch would pair us with JJ that day. It was clear there was something off and he wanted us to work through our differences. Such a dad move. Spencer drove us in silence, all we ever talked about was the case. JJ tried to make small talk but neither of us replied much. As soon as we got to the first abduction site, Spencer walked fast and took a look around.

- “So, Beth got off the bus here and headed northwest toward class.”- Spencer said and looked at me.

- “Yes, she was on time which means she didn’t have much time to stop and chat with random people. Our unsub was fast.”- I added and followed him.

- “It's amazing no one witnessed her abduction.”- JJ said and Spencer’s answer was faster than mine.

- “Emily was buried six feet under and wound up in Paris, so I guess anything is possible, right?”

- “So that is what this is about.”- JJ replied, confirming what was obvious.

- “You know, maybe our unsub is a little bit like Bundy and he feigned an injury in order to get her to help him.”- I started talking and didn’t let Jeniffer continue with whatever it is that she wanted to say.

- “Spence, (Y/N), if you want to talk about…”- we both turned our backs to her and continued looking around like we had lost anything in those few blocks. We had in fact lost something: our trust in JJ.

- “Chipmunk, maybe he tried another tactic and was like, "Wow, you're really pretty. You should be a model. I can take your photo."

- “That’s a very common technique to get a girl’s attention, hon. But we have no proof of anything, just speculation.”

- “I'll take that as a no.”- JJ mumbled and tried to follow us.

- “Either one would disarm her.”- Spencer looked at me and I nodded.

- “Charm's quite the killer.”- JJ suggested and crossed her arms on her chest. I turned to her and raised an eyebrow.

- “So are tears.”- and the look in her eyes was both filled with pain and anger. Good, I wanted her to be mad at me the way I was mad at her.

- “Whatever his ruse was, the unsub most likely used it to get her into his vehicle.”- Spencer landed a hand on my shoulder and made me turn to him with a nod.

- “Well, if Abby was last seen at a bus stop a few miles away, then he definitely has means of transportation.”- JJ waited for us to reply, but we didn’t. Instead, Spencer held my hand and started walking me back to the van.

- “Hopefully, the disposal site will tell us more.”

I know I was being mean to my friend, but that friend had lied to me and my future husband right on our faces for months, mocking our pain. I didn’t even want to be in the same car as her that day, less having to pretend everything was ok.

Rossi was talking with the police when we got to the nearest disposal site. Spencer parked and I literally ran out of the van, to put as much distance between me and JJ as possible.

- “Again he’s disposing in an area frequented by homeless people.”- Rossi explained to us as we walked through a bunch of police force and forensics.

- “It's equidistant to the last two dump sites.”- Spencer pointed out. I kneeled down and took a look at the corpse. It was burned with what seemed to be acid around her face.

- “He burned her tongue with the chemical this time.”- JJ said, stealing the words from me.

- “So he removed her ability to taste.”- Rossi frowned and looked at the victim, trying to understand.

- “Why would he do that?”- one of the cops asked and Spencer immediately started explaining.

- “Historically, this kind of torture was used to prevent someone from revealing a secret.”

- “Can you imagine this was normal behavior?”- I asked and kept my eyes on the corps- “The number of people there would be walking around with their mouths burned with acid…”- I could feel JJ’s eyes on me as I spoke, but refused to look at her the entire time.

- “Maybe she offended him.”- the detective suggested.

- “I wonder what that's like.”- Spencer quickly replied. Yes, we were brats. And I still regret nothing.

- “Her lips are extremely chapped.”- Rossi’s words forced us to re-focus on the case.

- “Probably she was forced to repeatedly participate in some sort of kissing fantasy.”- I suggested and JJ decided it was a great moment to start talking again and basically just point out the obvious.

- “And when things go awry, he takes the offending sense away.”

- “He tortured her in these clothes, which means the eighties are essential to his delusion.”- Spencer ignored her and continued analyzing the victim’s outfit.

- “Yes, I would say that's when this rejection occurred and he held on to the clothes all these years.”- I added and looked at my fiance as he nodded at me in agreement.

- “And now he's attacking girls who remind him of women from that time.”- JJ concluded with an obvious opinion. Spencer just looked at me and said

- “He's fixated on her type and remake them fit his fantasy.”

- “But why start now?”- the detective asked. JJ made a pause and looked at us.

- “Something probably triggered it, and instead of dealing with it, he's acting out.”

Spencer and I looked at her at the same time. I raised an eyebrow as she stared at me, almost defiant.

- “Great analysis, Jennifer. Thank you for sharing.”- I replied as I felt Spencer’s hand in mine, crawling me away from the scene.

- “Four days is way too much time.”- I argued as I closed the SUV door and sighed. Spencer got behind the wheel and started driving us away from the crime scene in less than a minute.

- “I know, my cheriè. Just focus on the case, we have to solve this and go back home.”

- “Can’t we just elope, get married in Vegas, and leave for our honeymoon right now?”- I closed my eyes and rested my head on the seat. Spencer held my hand as he drove, and caressed my skin carefully with his long fingers.

- “You deserve way better than just eloping, chipmunk. You deserve the whole world and the perfect wedding.”- his words were sweet in contrast with the cruel reality we were dealing with.

- “The only thing I care about is getting married to you. The rest ain’t that important, as long as I have you.”- I opened my eyes and stared at him. He looked at me for a moment and continued driving. His cheeks were blushed and his eyes were teary. My sweet fiance never took compliments well, and I knew it. Still, I had to tell him how I felt, though it was still somehow nerve-wracking.

Yes, Spencer still made me feel nervous. The butterflies in my stomach were always crazy when I was around him.

- “So, how are we going to deal with JJ these days?”- I asked him and he hummed.

- “We should just try to stay away from her and don’t speak to her about anything that’s not case related.”

- “Easier said than done”- I mumbled.

- “I know, but what other choice do we have?”- I thought about it and sighed.

- “I’m still not sure I want her at the wedding.”

- “Me neither, chipmunk. Trust me.”

When we arrived at the station, Rossi and JJ were already there. Spencer and I had taken a detour to get iced coffee on our way back. It only took us five more minutes, but I could see on Hotch’s face he was already upset with us. That was not what I needed at the moment, but we were already deep into the mess.

Hotch didn’t say a word to us, instead, he gathered the police force and asked us to release the profile of the unsub. I could use some work to focus on, instead of my anger. So I stood up in front of the entire police department and started talking.

- “We believe the unsub, or unknown subject, that we're looking for is a white male in his 40s. This is someone who's reacting to rejection by a woman when he was a teenager in the 1980s. He's punishing his victims for their reactions to him by taking away their senses with sulfuric acid.”

- “We believe our unsub could possibly work part-time as a janitor or a mechanic, which would give him access to this chemical.”- Rossi added as I turned to Spencer and he smiled at me, nodding.

- “And after studying the disposal sites, we think it's likely that he is homeless.”- Morgan continued- “Now, how do we typically react toward the homeless? We judge them by their looks and smells. It's that same negative reaction we believe that a woman had toward the unsub at some point in the eighties.”

- “The unsub's fixation on this woman is now all-consuming.”- Prentiss started explaining- “It's caused him to develop obsessive love disorder. He most likely has tunnel vision and believes that she holds the key to his happiness. He will stalk her in an attempt to win her back.”

- “He will do whatever it takes to be near his love interest.”- I added -“But her rejection will spiral him into a depression.”

- “Which would lead to rape and murder of the surrogates who represent her.”- Spencer finally spoke and I nodded at his words immediately- “And it's only a matter of time before this rage and anger cause the unsub to go after her directly.”

Police exited the room after a few minutes. Hotch looked at me and nodded in what I figured was the approval of my presentation delivering the profile, and I thought things might actually be a little better. But JJ had other plans. She cornered Spencer in the briefing room and from what I could notice, she had started pushing him to talk about the whole issue. I quickly walked over and looked at her, crossing my arms on my chest, and looking seriously into her eyes.

- “What do you want Jennifer?”- I asked and she widened her eyes, surprised by my tone, I guess.

- “(Y/N), Spence. We gotta talk about this.”

- “I told you, we don't want to talk about it.”- Spencer answered and kept gathering some papers from the table. I started helping so he could finish quickly and get the fuck out of there.

- “I get it, ok? You're disappointed with the way we handled Emily.”

- “Listen, we have a lot going on, all right?”- Spencer didn’t even look at her, he kept his eyes on the files and folders as he tried to leave the room with me, but JJ stopped him.

- “You know what I think it is?”- her voice was suddenly defiant. Spencer stood in front of her and raised an eyebrow waiting for her speech.

- “What?”

- “You're mad that Hotch and I controlled our micro-expressions at the hospital and you weren't able to detect our deception.”- she said to my soon-to-be husband- “And you are mad ‘cos Hotch trusted me with the secret instead of you”- she added, staring at me. I opened my mouth to start cursing her, my hands shaking with anger. But Spencer stopped me. He held my hand and stood in front of me, basically shielding me from JJ’s bullshit.

- “You think it's about my profiling skills? That you just hurt our ego?”- and that bitch simply shrugged- “Jennifer, listen, the only reason you were able to manage my perceptions is because I trusted you.”

- “Spence…”- she tried to explain, but I took a step closer to her and held onto my boyfriend’s hand tight.

- “You really don’t know us if you think what you hurt is as mundane as our pride. I don’t care if Hotch wants you to know all his secrets. Under any other circumstances, I would have been happy for you. But not now, not like this, not after you laughed at us.”

- “Laughed?! (Y/N), when did I laugh at you?”- JJ was mad and hurt, her voice was shaky as she tried to defend herself.

- “We came to your house for 10 weeks in a row crying over losing a friend, and not once did you have the decency to tell us the truth.”- Spencer spat each word as JJ stared at us making her best to keep her shit together.

- “I couldn't!”

- “You couldn't? Or you wouldn't?”- I questioned her and she looked at me with tears in her eyes.

- “No, I couldn't, (Y/N).”

- “What if I started taking Dilaudid again? Would you have let me?”- Spencer questioned her and the thought of him getting back into drugs slapped me all of a sudden. Yes, I had considered that option, but Reid never gave me any sign he might actually fall back into old habits.

- “You didn't.”

- “Yeah, but I thought about it.”- Spencer held my hand tight and started walking out of the room with me.

- “Spence!”- JJ begged, as tears started falling down her eyes. But my boyfriend didn’t even flinch. He looked at her and shrugged, annoyed, and started walking away again.

- “I’m so sorry”- JJ whispered, looking at me.

- “It’s too late for that, alright?”- I answered, shaking my head, and followed Spencer on his way out of the station.

- “Spence, (Y/N)”- I heard Prentiss calling our names and I turned to look at her. She was puzzled and probably feeling guilty. But we held nothing against her. It was all JJ. She was our problem.

- “We are gonna get in trouble with Hotch after that”- I said as I sat on the front steps of the station. Spencer stood in front of me, arms crossed on his chest as he continued walking back and forth.

- “I’m sorry, chipmunk.”

- “Why are you apologizing for?”

- “I think I might have pushed it a little too far against JJ”- I shook my head and sighed. I wanted to ask but I was afraid of the answer. But I figured I had to do it just as a band-aid. Quick and painless.

- “You didn’t actually think about taking Dilaudid again, right?”- my question was meant to be an affirmation, but it sounded so insecure and shaky, that I embarrassed myself. I looked at my hands as I asked and waited for Spencer’s answer. He sighed and looked at me, walking to me and kneeling in front of me.

- “Of course not, chipmunk. I would never do that to you.”- I sighed relieved and smiled at him, feeling his lips on mine as his hands cupped my face carefully.

- “Thank god. I don’t think I could ever go through that again.”- I admitted as he rubbed his lips against mine. I kept my eyes closed, enjoying the sensation and the warmth of his touch- “I just love you too much. It would kill me to see you in so much pain one more time.”

- “Don’t worry, ma cherie. That’s never gonna happen.”- he whispered and kissed me again. This time embracing me with a passion and love he didn’t usually share during working hours. His tongue parted my lips and explored my mouth sweetly, tasting every inch. I let out a soft moan, and that just encouraged him. His hands moved from my cheeks to my waist, pulling me against his body, making me feel loved and cared for. And by the way, he was holding me so tight, anyone would say Spencer was afraid I was going to escape.

- “Come on, cool off”- I managed to whisper, still feeling him rubbing his lips against mine- “We are still at work. And already in trouble with our boss, I am afraid.”

- “I’m so sorry”- he mumbled and sighed, kissing my lips one more time before moving from me and starting to pace in front of me.

- “We should try to solve this case so we can go home and… share rooms again.”- I said and winked, trying to cheer him up.

- “Are you really going to marry me?”- Spencer asked all of a sudden. I raised an eyebrow as I stared at his sweet chocolate eyes, staring at me, waiting for an honest answer. Where did all that insecurity come from?

- “Not only will I marry you, I am also going to be with you until death do us part.”

Spencer’s point of view

I didn’t only feel like scum, but I was also terrified. Why did I have to mention Dilaudid in front of (Y/N)? Why was I so emotional and careless to say the one word that could bring this whole relationship to an end? I just wanted to hurt JJ, I know. But I was irresponsible. I was stupid. And the worst part was knowing I had no time to think about it. I had to solve a case first and pretend everything was ok later. I didn’t want (Y/N) to worry or see through me, read my insecurities and my truth.

I did what I did best, I hid at work and dragged (Y/N) along with me, to keep her from thinking about me and Dilaudid ever again. We started talking about the case, went through all the information we had, and decided we might have made a mistake in our profile. We might have overlooked one detail that could change the unsub we were looking for dramatically.

- “I don’t wanna go in there after the scene we made”- my girlfriend whispered as soon as we stepped into the police station. The team was gathered in a meeting room and I knew she wasn’t ready to deal with the consequences of my outburst. But we had to work.

- “I’m here chipmunk. Nothing is gonna happen. You know that right?”- I whispered and cut her a warm smile, trying to reassure her I was going to protect her. I would, I wanted to. I needed to know I was able to keep her safe from any harm. She nodded as my thumbs carefully caressed her cheeks for a moment. I knew that wasn’t the correct behavior, but honestly, I didn’t care anymore. Nothing was ever going to stop me from protecting (Y/N).

We walked into the meeting room as if nothing had happened earlier and I simply started talking.

- “I don't think we're dealing with a typical homeless person.”- and just like that, the entire team looked at me- “He's good with chemicals, and owns a car. I think the only mistake in our profile was assuming there was something wrong with his physical composition, reducing him to some sort of stereotype.”

- “You think it's only his mental state?”- Rossi questioned.

- “I think this guy might be smart enough to use his disability to his advantage so he comes across as harmless.”

- “And then, when he's alone and the victim rejects him, he goes off.”- (Y/N) added, crossing her arms on her chest, trying not to show how uncomfortable she felt.

- “What if he doesn't live on the street? What if he's in a halfway house?”- JJ asked and I kept my eyes on Hotch. He just grabbed his phone and dialed.

- “Garcia, I need a list of halfway houses and mental health centers in the unsub's comfort zone.”

- “Ok. Five are being sent to your phones.”- we all heard Penelope announcing.

- “Which of those were around in the eighties, Garcia?”- (Y/N) asked.

- “There are two in your area, munchkin.”

- “Morgan and Prentiss, take the first.”- Hotch announced- “Dave and I will take the second.”

- “What about us?”- JJ asked the obvious question and I unconsciously landed a hand on (Y/N)’s back, trying to comfort her.

- “Stay here and check ViCAP for similar M. O.s and signatures.”- everyone stepped out of the room, including (Y/N), who walked to the desk where she had left all the folders. And just as I started following her, Hotch called me.

- “Reid.”- I knew what this was about, and I was glad he was talking to me and not with her. She really didn’t have to be scolded this time- “If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me.”

I hesitated for a second, trying not to look him in the eyes ‘cos it was still something very hard for me to deal with. I was mad at my friend, not at my boss. And no matter how close Aaron was with us, he wasn’t technically my friend. He was closer to a father figure than anything else.

- “I can't. I didn't come to your house crying for ten weeks.”- that was the only explanation I could give him, ‘cos it was my truth.

The following morning we had a missing girl and still no suspect. (Y/N) hadn’t mentioned Dilaudid again and I was praying for the word to simply vanish from her vocabulary. I had made my best to keep her focused on the case and on the wedding. But it was challenging at the moment, ‘cos Hotch had decided to pair me with Rossi and leave her on the station with JJ. And no matter how much I begged him, he didn’t change his mind.

- “So kids spill out of the motel toward the cars. If Tammy walked this way, how could she disappear without anyone seeing her?”- Rossi said as we walked out of one of the rooms and analyzed the whole perimeter.

- “Someone would have heard her scream.”- I answered, taking a look around, trying to picture the entire place filled with teenagers.

- “That's if she screamed. Unlike the last three abduction sites, this one is nowhere near public transportation. Maybe she knew the unsub.”

- “Or thought she did.”- I ramble and catch a glimpse of empathy in Rossi's eyes- “What if Tammy was the target all along? That would explain the change in the M. O.”

- “So whoever did this knew she was coming here.”

- “I’m gonna call Hotch”- I grabbed my phone and quickly dialed. I also wanted to call (Y/N) and ask her if she was ok alone at the police station with JJ. But I couldn’t. After I hung up with Hotch, Rossi grabbed my arm and stopped me.

- “Kid, after Prentiss came back things have been hard on the entire team, not just you.”- suddenly I knew exactly where that was going, and I didn’t appreciate it one bit.

- “Rossi, thank you, but I don’t wanna talk about this right now.”

- “I’m just trying to tell you you are not the only one who feels betrayed. But you can’t just be mad at JJ for doing her job.”

- “Her job? So her job was to lie to us, even when she saw us at our lowest for weeks?”- I was doing my best not to raise my voice, but I knew I was failing at that task. I really was running low on patience that day and I didn’t want to continue talking about the same subject.

- “This was bigger than just sharing information, kid.”- Rossi stood in front of me and looked straight into my eyes, something I wanted to avoid by all means- “This was about keeping Prentiss alive, and Hotch knew that.”

- “But that secret nearly killed us.”- I argued back and looked down at my shoes- “(Y/N) was in deep grief, and for a minute I thought I was going to lose my sanity. This hit us hard, and JJ saw us, she was there, and she didn’t do anything.”

- “Only because she couldn’t! Not because she didn’t care about you.”

- “I don’t even care about me anymore, it’s the hurt on (Y/N) that bothers me the most. I don’t ever wanna see her crying like she did when we thought Emily was dead.”- I started walking back to the car.

- “You can’t keep her from pain, Reid. That’s just life. But as her husband you can support her and love her through the rough times.”- Rossi followed me and got into the SUV- “And maybe helping her forgive JJ and leaving this whole deal behind might be the right thing to do.”

I looked at David knowing there was nothing I could ever say that might help him understand how I felt. So I decided not to argue with him anymore and just leave the whole deal alone. I simply nodded and grabbed my phone as it hummed, letting me know I had a new text.

- “I’ve got a cupcake with your name on it”- I read and smiled.

- “I know the feeling, Reid”- Rossi said after a few minutes of driving in silence- “How it feels like when your blood boils in anger when you see someone hurting the woman you love.”- I looked out of the window and sighed. I really didn’t want to continue with the lecture.

Lucky for me, Morgan called and told us there was a suspect. We finally got a name. And two garages he worked on. In two hours, we had the unsub at the station, and Prentiss and Morgan were on their way with the police to get the latest victim, luckily alive. It was her own uncle who kidnapped and tortured her. Rossi was right, it was someone she knew.

By the end of the day, we were on the jet, on our way back home. (Y/N) was asleep on the couch by my side, and I entertained myself with a few books before we landed. Anything to keep me from thinking, or from talking with JJ.

- “So, the surgeon said he believes he can restore feeling to Tammy's hands.”- Emily whispered as she sat in front of me suddenly. I kept my eyes on the book and simply replied.

- “Good. We got there in time.”

- “I heard Mr. Bradstone wants to watch the tape.”- she continued talking, not getting the hint I wasn’t in the mood for a conversation. I still felt guilty about it though. There she was, alive and well, and I still didn’t feel like having a conversation with her despite the fact I had missed her for over ten weeks.

- “People have an innate curiosity to see things in order to confirm them.”- I replied and turned the page of my book.

- “Oh, that explains why I'm going to Rossi's tomorrow night. I want to see if he really can cook. You guys coming?”- she sounded so happy, so excited to spend time with us. So alive, if that makes any logical sense.

- “I don't know. I'm not so sure we can make it. We still have some things about the wedding we have to take care of”- I lied between my teeth knowing she would see through my deceit in a second.

- “Look, Reid, I know you're mad at us because we didn't tell you what really happened, and I understand that. But I promise you, we had no choice.”- she made a long pause and I felt her eyes on me, so I looked at her for a second, feeling my heart tighten into my chest. I wasn’t mad at her, I was glad she was there, alive and trying to preach to me. It was hard not to smile at her.

- “You mourned the loss of a friend. I mourned the loss of 6.”- I opened my mouth, but not a word came out of it. (Y/N) moved on her seat and I turned to her, afraid we might have woken her up. But no, she was still out.

- “This whole thing gave me an ulcer. Please don't give me another one. Are you gonna go to Rossi's tomorrow?”

- “We'll see.”- I whispered, knowing she had a point. I was still mad at JJ, but I knew I had to leave it behind for the sake of our mental health, and the team.

- “Also, I need to throw a bachelorette party for your future wife, so please don’t let her be mad at me any longer. I miss her.”- Prentiss whispered as she stood up and walked away. I looked at (Y/N) and sighed. All I wanted was to see her happy. Would forgiving JJ help her smile again?

Wednesday night I drove us to Rossi’s after a long talk. We didn’t want to be the ones causing trouble in the team, though I knew it was going to take more than just a cooking class for us. We were mad at JJ and a part of the trust had been broken. But (Y/N) had made a point after we discussed it.

- “We’ve been through a lot in the last six years. I don’t wanna let this argument get the best of us. And arguing with JJ is exhausting.”

I agreed with her only because I wanted to see her happy. I was still upset with the whole deal, but if she was ready to put it behind us, then so it should be.

Still, it was weird driving over to Rossi’s after everything we had done that week. I knew we hadn’t been nice or even mature dealing with the whole deal, and clearly, we were going to have to work on an apology for the team in the close future.

- “Reids! You made it!”- Morgan opened the front door and smiled at us - “Come in, we were just getting started.”- I closed the door behind our back and walked to the kitchen, where Rossi held a pan with what seemed to be onion and pancetta.

- “We can still turn around and leave”- I whispered and felt (Y/N)’s hand squeezing mine.

- “Let’s just endure it and when we are back home, maybe I will reward you, daddy.”- she murmured in my ear and giggled.

- “Hands where I can see them”- Morgan teased and (Y/N) giggled.

- “Sorry we are late”- I waved and took a look at the team. JJ turned to us and smiled shyly, almost scared we were going to snap at her… as we had done for the last week. I cut her an awkward smile and stood by the kitchen aisle, next to (Y/N).

- “Are we drinking already?”- she asked as Rossi put two glasses of red wine in front of us.

- “He hasn’t let us even sip it!”- Garcia complained immediately.

- “Yes, when do we get to drink the wine?”- Emily asked.

- “Almost there”- Rossi answered, still fully focused on the pan- “Ok, we start at the beginning. You eat what you cook, I'll supervise, but we're gonna do this all together, just like a family.”

- “Ok now?”- JJ asked raising her glass of wine

- “Now.”- Rossi grabbed his glass and raised it. We all followed him, saying cheers.

- “Do we all really have to cook?”- Emily asked leaving her glass on the table a few seconds later.

- “Yes, we do.”- David replied and raised an eyebrow.

- “Come on, zombie Prentiss, you don’t even have to chop the onion!”- (Y/N) argued, making me chuckle at the nickname.

- “Did you just call me a zombie?”- Emily widened her eyes.

- “Weren’t you dead a few days ago?”- (Y/N) replied with an adorable smile.

- “You are so lucky I love you, (Y/N).”- Prentiss added and hugged my girlfriend carefully.

- “Rumor says around the BAU that you wanted to throw me a bachelorette party.”- Emily’s face lightened up with those words.

- “I do! We do! Are you serious?! Can we all?”- I looked at Garcia and JJ and the two of them seemed to be both excited and nervous about the answer.

- “Of course, you can! I was counting on it! You and Lu are my only girlfriends ever!! You are basically my entire bridesmaid's squad!”

- “Did you hear that, pretty boy? Your lady is going out with her friends”- Morgan sipped his wine and looked at me raising an eyebrow- “That means we have to schedule your bachelor party as well.”

- “And don’t forget to invite Mikey and Frank!”- (Y/N) added looking at our friend.-“They would go bonkers if they miss a stripper party.”

- “Are you gonna let him go?”- Morgan asked her, almost shocked.

- “Why wouldn’t I? He is not gonna cheat with a stripper, most likely, he will try not to even touch one because of the number of germs they might have.”- I shook my head and sipped my glass of wine as everybody around us laughed. My girlfriend was right, one more time.

- “Alright kids, let’s cook!”- Rossi commanded and guided us to the stove. (Y/N) turned to me and smiled. She seemed happy, and that was all that mattered at that minute to me.

(Y/N)’s point of view

Around ten, after we cooked and enjoyed dinner, Rossi invited us out to his patio for a drink. I was excited to have a glass of his favorite scotch, ‘cos damn! that thing was good!

- “If Spencer asks, can you tell him I went out for a second to pick something from the car?”- I asked Penelope, who was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend was currently helping Rossi with the booze, and I didn’t want him to get worried.

It was a cold night and I had forgotten to bring my jacket inside the house. I wasn’t even sure I had brought one along, but I knew I had some of Spencer’s in the trunk of the car ‘cos I has planned to have them dry clean before our honeymoon.

I opened the trunk and went through some of the bags we had there. I knew I had to take a minute of my day to clean the back of that car, but days were crazy at that point in life, and I didn’t have enough time. I just grabbed one of Spencer’s jackets (one of my favorites) and put it on. I knew he wasn’t going to get mad at me ‘cos he loved to see me in his clothes. Besides, I loved wearing anything of his, ‘cos it felt like he was hugging me the entire time.

I rushed back inside the house and closed the door behind my back. I could hear our friend’s laughter from the backyard and made my way over quickly, chilling. I put my hands inside the pockets as I walked faster, seeing Spencer waiting for me, standing next to my seat, holding a glass of scotch.

But in a second, I stopped. I felt something inside the pocket. My hand grabbed a small bottle. I took it and simply looked at it as my entire world crumbled in a second. It was Dilaudid. A whole bottle of that shit, hidden in my boyfriend’s jacket.

I held it, as tears filled my eyes. I felt my breath leave my lungs, as everything I thought was real turned into a bunch of lies. Spencer had Dilaudid this entire time. I was about to marry a liar, and clearly, a drug addict.

- “(Y/N)?”- he called out my name as he stared at me from the other side of the room. I kept my eyes glued to the bottle for a few minutes before I turned to him. He was pale, in shock and petrified I knew his secret.

- “(Y/N), wait!”- I heard him beg as I turned around and ran out of Rossi’s. I ran as fast as I could until I made it to the car and started it.

- “(Y/N)! Please stop!! Let me explain!!”- Spencer yelled and tapped on the window of the car before I started the engine and drove away as fast as I could, leaving him screaming behind.

No, I didn’t want his explanations, I didn’t want to hear anything from him. I wanted to get away from that fucking liar as fast as possible.

He got drugs. He was using again. All that shit he kept saying about him never lying to me was nothing but bullshit. My hands were shaking as I drove with no destination. I didn’t want to go back to our apartment. I didn’t want to go anywhere he could find me. I wanted to disappear and get away from Spencer Reid.

I had never felt like that before. Not even once. I guess I had never felt betrayed by him before.

I tried to find my cell phone or my purse, but as I rushed out, I left them at Rossi’s. It was a good thing in a way, at least Spencer wasn’t going to call me. So I just drove and cried for a good hour, trying to put as much distance as possible between us. I didn’t even have the keys to our apartment, but I didn’t want to go there. I didn’t want to go anywhere, I just wanted to disappear. I didn’t have a wallet or my ID either. Not even my badge… but at that minute all I could think of was Spencer using Dilaudid and fooling me about it. Since when? Where was he using? After I slept? During cases?

And why did he relapse? It just wasn’t fair! Was it because of Emily’s dead? Maybe what he had said to JJ that week wasn’t a lie and he had gotten drugs to avoid thinking about Prentiss and simply numb himself.

How couldn’t he just trust me? Tell me he was feeling weak? I would have helped him, I would have given my life for him! How could he just betray me like that? He claimed to love me more than anyone else on earth, but how was he doing such a thing behind my back?

- “I hate you!!”- I yelled, sobbing as I hit the wheel.

I drove over two hours without a destination. In silence. I swear I couldn’t even think straight. I couldn’t hold a thought in my head. I mostly just sobbed and cursed. I knew I wasn’t going to go home that night, and I couldn’t just crush Penelope’s or Prentiss’. Spencer would definitely look for me at Frank’s, Lu’s, and Mikey’s. So I turned to the one person I didn’t want to be with during those circumstances, most of all because I didn’t want to explain anything and she was going to ask too many questions.

- “Baby, what are you doing here so late?”- mom opened the front door and stared at me in shock. My chin just quivered and I started crying again- “Oh my god! What happened? Are you hurt?”- she opened her arms and held me tight.

- “Can I stay here tonight?”

- “Of course, baby! Come on inside! You are shaking! Let me make you some tea.”

- “Can you make it a scotch?”- mom didn’t argue, she just nodded as she closed the door behind our back.

- “What happened?”- I followed her to the kitchen and sat at the aisle, watching her pouring a glass of scotch for me and one for her.

- “Spencer and I had an argument and I don’t wanna see him right now.”

- “Why? Oh my god! Did he cheat? ‘Cos if he did, I’m gonna kill him!”- I shook my head as I stared at mom’s face turning red with anger in a second.

- “No, but he lied and I found out the hard way. It’s… I don’t wanna talk about it, mom.”- Sofia just walked to me and hugged me. I had to bite my lips not to continue crying.

- “My baby, and a week before the wedding. There isn’t a worse time for an argument than this.”

The wedding. I had forgotten. But I couldn’t think of that at that minute. I was too upset to collect my thoughts and be rational. I just wanted to drink and forget at that minute.

Of course, I wasn’t going to be able to do either of those things, ‘cos the bell rang, and then someone knocked at the door frantically. I knew I had hidden the car in the garage, if Spencer was there looking for me, he couldn’t know I was in fact in the house.

- “That’s him. I am not here”- I said to my mom and grabbed my glass, running upstairs. Mom sighed and walked to the door. I hid upstairs and closed my eyes, in a futile effort to turn invisible, I think.

- “Spencer! What happened? You scared me! Is there something wrong? Is my daughter ok?”

- “Sofia, I am sorry to bother you so late at night, but… have you seen (Y/N)?”

- “No, I haven’t seen her in days. Why? What happened? Is everything ok?”- I have to give kudos to my mom, she is an excellent actress. I was sure she was fooling Spencer.

- “We… we just had a small argument and she ran off. I am worried ‘cos she left her cell phone and her keys and I don’t know where she is.”

- “I am so sorry to hear that Spencer, but if it was a small argument, I am sure she will reconsider and come back home very soon.”

- “If she comes over, would you please tell her to come home? I need to talk to her and explain how things happened. I don’t want her to make any rushed decision.”- Spencer begged, and my heart kept breaking with every word. A part of me wanted to hold him, and an even bigger part of me wanted to smack the shit out of him. Fucking liar.

- “I will if I see her. But you know, Spencer, my daughter doesn’t usually turn to me for help. Did you try at Frank’s, Lu or Mikey’s? Maybe they have seen her.”- mom’s voice was smooth and confident. Best performance of her life.

- “I did… now they are mad at me too.”- Spencer mumbled- “Well… if you know anything…”

- “I will definitely call you.”

- “Thank you, Sofia.”

Mom closed the door and I finished what was left in my glass in one shot. After a few minutes, when I heard him closing his car door, I stood up and walked downstairs.

- “He seemed honestly concerned, honey. He wasn’t pretending.”

- “I know”- I whispered as I walked into the kitchen and poured myself another drink- “I’m not saying he is a bad person, I’m saying he fucked up way too much for me to just simply forgive him. I don’t even wanna see him right now.”

- “But if he didn’t cheat, what did he do?”

I opened y mouth and no word came out. Did I want to tell my mom the truth about Spencer?

- “He still lied about something very serious, mom. Please don’t ask me all the details now.”

- “Fine, I’m not gonna push you. But you know you can trust me, right peanut?”- mom held my hand and I nodded. I knew we didn’t have the best relationship, but I knew she loved me.

- “Thank you.”

- “Now let’s try to get some sleep, you still need to go to work tomorrow and deal with this mess.”

I groaned at the thought of getting up early and going to work, mostly ‘cos it meant being with Spencer and seeing the rest of the team. I was sure they had a lot of questions too.

My room was a time capsule. Mom always kept my and my brother’s rooms clean and almost ready for us to come back. I didn’t want to deal with that sign of her denial at the minute, I had too much on my plate by then. I sat on my bed and looked at the posters on the wall. That was the last place I pictured myself a week before my wedding. That was another thing I didn’t want to think about: The wedding. How could I marry a man I didn’t trust anymore?

I lay on my old bed and stared at the ceiling. There were still some glow-in-the-dark star stickers up there. I remembered the day we got them at the mall, and Mikey helped me put them on the ceiling, ‘cos he was way taller than me at the time (and still is).

- “Hello?”- thinking about Mikey made me want to talk to him- “Nugget?”

- “Yeah, hey.”

- “What happened? Doc showed up here a while ago, asking if I had seen you…”

- “We fought.”- I whispered.

- “Figured.”- my friend sighed as I just laid on my bed, in silence- “So you are at your mom’s.”

- “Yeah, calling from my old room, old telephone… if things go wrong I can always choke myself with the cord.”

- “Loving your positivity, girl. What happened?”- I sighed and thought about my words before I answered, I knew I could trust Mikey, I just… I don’t know. It hurt too much to think about what had just happened, I guess.

- “He lied.”

- “Did he cheat?”- I chuckled thinking that would, of course, be the worst scenario for everybody.

- “Not technically. But he did lie about… remember when I helped him detox a million years ago?”

- “Yeah…”- Mikey made a pause and gasped- “He started using again?!”- I don’t know why I nodded if he couldn’t see me- “Did you see him getting high? Was he violent?”

- “No. I found a bottle of Dilaudid in his jacket.”

- “Shit.”

- “Yeah.”- I took a deep breath and made the biggest effort to keep my tears back. I didn’t want to cry “in front” of Mikey or of anyone as a matter of fact.

- “I’m gonna kill him.”

- “Not if I kill him first. And as far as I remember, I’m the one carrying a gun.”- I could feel my friend’s hesitation through the line. Was I serious or was I kidding? Not even I knew.

- “Nugget… did he give you any explanation? Did he even try to justify his actions?”

- “I refused to talk to him. I was too mad. He didn’t tell me felt that bad. He never hinted he might start using again, and just a few days ago he denied getting drugs or even thinking about using again. There is nothing to explain. He is a drug addict and a liar. And I don’t wanna know what he has to say.”

- “I can’t believe he is doing this to you. He loves you so much.”

- “Well, apparently, he loves that fucking needles more than he loves me.”- I didn’t want to believe my own words, but honestly, at that point, they seemed to be true.

- “Wanna come over tomorrow? Frank and Lu could come too, we can talk this through, try to…”

- “Thanks. I am not really sure I wanna see anyone right now.”

- “That’s why I said tomorrow, nugget. Not today.”- I kept my eyes glued to the ceiling for a moment, not saying a word. Mikey sighed again and probably rolled in bed.

- “Remember when we got those glow-in-the-dark star stickers for my ceiling?”

- “Yeah, we were twelve or something. Why do you ask?”

- “You and Frank made fun of me and Lu and said these things were gonna fall in an hour, and they are still there.”

- “So? I will start trusting industrial glue from now on.”

- “They lasted more than my relationship with Reid.”

- “Don’t say that, (Y/N). Don’t. Not until he explains what actually happened.”

- “What? Are you on his side now? Did he melt you with his useless explanations when he stopped by your place?”

- “No. I’m just saying don’t make any decision just yet. Not until you talk to him.”

- “I don’t wanna talk to him.”

- “You are mad today, but tomorrow you’ll see things much clearer.”

- “I’m not so sure about that, Mikey. I’ll talk to you tomorrow and I’ll let you know.”

- “If you don’t call me in the morning, I’m gonna stop by your work at lunch.”

- “You haven’t done such a thing ever since I started working at the BAU. Why should I believe you?”

- “I dunno. To surprise you?”

- “Good night Mikey.”

- “Don’t make any rushed decision, nugget. Spencer loves you.”

- “So what if he does? He lied, got drugs, and didn’t tell me how he felt. What kind of love is that?”

- “He is only human, (Y/N). You can’t ask him to be perfect. He is gonna fuck up, but he can redeem himself, can he?”

Honestly, I didn’t know if he could. You see, lying is one thing, but lying and using drugs after promising me you were never going to do it again, that’s a completely different thing.

- “Good night Mikey.”

Spencer’s point of view

The second I saw (Y/N) walk into the house with that damn jacket, I knew what was gonna happen. It all hit me quite fast. My mistake. The fact I had actually forgotten I had gotten that shit was my first and biggest mistake. Why didn’t I get rid of it when I could? How could I forget I had it around? Hidden. I should have known I couldn’t hide anything from her. Why did I even try?

- “(Y/N)?”- the look in her eyes was brokenhearted as she stared at me from the other side of the room. Not a single word left her lips. She was struggling not to cry, and I was starting to panic.

- “(Y/N), wait!”- I begged and started walking toward her as she turned her back to me and basically scaped out of the house.

- “(Y/N)! Please stop!! Let me explain!!”- I ran after her and watched her get into her car. Her eyes were filled with tears as she started the engine and drove away from me, leaving me alone, with all my explanations.

- “Spencer? What the hell happened?”- Penelope showed up as I started sobbing, my lips quivering as I made my best not to cry, ‘cos I honestly didn’t want to give our friends any kind of explanation about what had just happened.

- “I need to go.”- I mumbled and turned back into the house to get our things.

- “Spencer!”- Garcia yelled and followed me closely.- “What the hell happened? Why did (Y/N) run away so fast?”

- “Kid?”- Morgan was waiting at the door, but I didn’t reply to him either. I just gathered all of our things, turned to Rossi, and nodded.

- “I’m sorry, but I have to go. Thank you for everything, David.”

- “Reid.”- Hotch stopped me and walked me to the door.- “Is (Y/N) ok?”

- “I… I don’t know.”

- “Is everything ok between you two?”

- “I honestly don’t know.”- I didn’t want to answer any of those questions, but after such a scene, it felt necessary, I guess- “I’m sorry about all this. I have to go”- Hotch didn’t say another word, he just nodded as I ran out of the house, desperately searching for a cab.

- “Shit, shit, shit”- I walked down the street, carrying (Y/N)’s purse, looking for a taxi. I wanted to call her, ask where she was, stop her angst, and tell her I hadn’t used a drop of drug ever since she helped me rehab four years ago.

She wasn’t going to talk to me after this, I knew her. She was going to close emotionally, and honestly, so would I after that massive fuck up. I knew I had broken her heart. I had ruined her trust. And I didn’t know how to fix that. Just a few days ago she had told me she knew she wouldn’t be able to deal with me using drugs again, and now she just found drugs in my pocket. Why am I so stupid?! How could I let this happen? Why did I have to be so stupid to get that fucking bottle of Dilaudid?

A cab finally appeared and I basically jumped into the back seat.

- “Where to, chief?’”

- “1333 Connecticut Ave.”

I gave the driver Frank’s address, which was closest (technically) but also was the one person (Y/N) would turn to first in case of trouble. But… she knew I knew that which meant she wasn’t going to go there first. I groaned and held my head with both hands as I tried to think clearly. I could do it for a case, I could do it with any other problem in life. But when it came to (Y/N), I just couldn’t do it.

I was desperate. I felt I was running out of oxygen. I wish I didn’t know her so well because I had clear how screwed I was. Of all the things on earth I could ask (Y/N) for forgiveness, I knew drugs were a topic she would never be merciful with. She hated me, of that I was sure. I hated myself so at least we agreed on something.

- “Here we are”- the driver announced, but I was already halfway out of the cab, I threw him a twenty and ran to Frank’s door. I pushed his apartment ring so many times, I was afraid I had broken it.

- “What the fuck?!”

- “Frank! Sorry! It’s Spencer!”

- “Doc! Come on up!”- he opened the door for me and I ran the four floors to his door. Halfway up I realized it was obvious (Y/N) wasn’t there: Frank opened the door. He would have never done it if he knew what I had done.

- “Is everything ok? Is (Y/N) ok? Where is she?”- Frank stood by the opened door and looked at me with terror in his eyes. I don’t know what I looked like, running frantically inside his apartment and searching around for my fiance.

- “I am looking for her! Have you seen her? Is she here?”- I tried to breathe, but it was honestly getting harder every second. Frank closed the door confused and walked to me, holding both my shoulders and staring at me.

- “What the fuck are you talking about, doc? Where is (Y/N)?”

- “I don’t know where she is. We… we had a fight and she ran away.”- my friend frowned and stayed still for a second, processing all the information.

- “What? You two had an argument? Why? What did you do?”- it was very sweet of him to assume I had done wrong. He was also very right.

- "She… we… I had..."

- "Frank?"- I heard a female voice coming from his room and my heart skipped a beat. I let him go and ran over, opening the door just to find… a naked girl in his bed.

- "(Y/N)!! Shit! Sorry!"- the poor girl covered herself and screamed as I quickly turned around, bumping into Frank- "I'm sorry I didn't know you had a friend over."

- "What the fuck are you doing, Reid?! Where is (Y/N)? What the fuck did you do to her?"- Frank shouted in my face as I tried to focus.

- "She is mad at me and won't let me explain anything. She just ran off after…"- I looked at his closed bedroom door but still felt uncomfortable talking about that issue so close to a stranger. So I walked back to the living room knowing Frank would follow me.

- "A few years ago I was abducted and my captor forced me to use Dilaudid. After that, I was hooked for a few months until (Y/N) helped me detox. I've been going to NA meetings every month ever since and I haven't relapsed. But…"

I paused and looked at him, he didn't look surprised at all, he only looked mad.

- "Did she ever tell you?"

- "What the fuck did you do Spencer?"- his voice was closer to a growl at that minute, and his eyes were still deep in anger.

- "Nothing!! I swear!! She thinks I relapsed 'cos she found a bottle of Dilaudid in my jacket! But I didn't!! I could never do that to her!"

- "Then why did you have it?! Did it magically appear in your pocket?!”- Frank lost it again and yelled at me. I flinched and couldn't even open my mouth to reply.

I know anyone could think Frank’s reaction was out of proportion. But it wasn’t. You see, (Y/N) was his best friend on earth and he loved her like a little sister. And I had hurt his little sister. If you ask me, I was fucked.

- “Look, I know I ruined things with her, but for a small fragment of time after Prentiss’s death, I thought I needed it. I didn’t! I never used it! I should have gotten rid of it!”

- “You shouldn’t have fucking got it in the first time, Spencer!!”- Frank really looked like he was about to smack me.

- “I know! I know! And now she thinks I’m probably using it again! And she will want to cancel the wedding and dump me! And it’s all my fault!”- Frank shook his head and walked to the kitchen.

I followed him waiting for his yells. Maybe he could punch me. I was even looking forward to it, I deserved all the pain he was willing to make me feel. I could take anything, except (Y/N)’s rejection.

But no. Instead, he got me a beer and one from himself. He opened it, sat by the aisle, and moved a chair for me.

- “You are an asshole.”

- “I know! But I don’t have time for a beer and some advice! I need to find her!”

- “Dude, you won’t find her tonight. And trust me, you don’t wanna talk to her right now. You need to wait until her anger soothes a little… if that’s even possible considering how deep into shit you are right now.”

I stared at him and grabbed the beer, sipping it and almost drinking half of it. Frank raised an eyebrow and sighed.

- “Neither Mikey nor Lu had called me yet, which means she is not there either.”

- “I don’t care, I’m going anyway.”- I don’t know why I acted like a brat, but in my defense, I was desperate and I wasn’t thinking straight.

- “Doc, you fucked it up. You have to plan your apology instead of running around town like a headless chicken!”

- “She is gonna cancel the wedding!”- I yelled and jumped from the chair, feeling the walls closing in.

- “If you talk to her tonight she might!”- Frank lit a cigarette and nodded- “Think Spencer! You’ve known her for so long, use all your (Y/N) intel to figure out how to fix this instead of acting with your guts!”

- “I don’t have time to think! She is gonna… I just need to hold her.”- I bit my lips as I paced across that kitchen, feeling impotent and useless- “I know I have a wealth of knowledge about her I could be applying to find her and apologize effectively. But right now, I can’t focus on anything for longer than three seconds at a time, which makes me the dumbest person in this room.”

- “Jeez, thanks”- Frank chuckled and stood up to wrap an arm around my shoulders, as I inevitably broke down in tears.

- “I love her so much it hurts. And I need to find her so I can explain to her I would never do anything that might hurt her,”

- “Doc, getting that bottle hurt her. She is out there thinking you picked drugs over her.”

Yes, I knew it was stupid of me to say “I would never hurt her” when I had just done that exact thing. But trust me, I wasn’t myself that night.

I sobbed against Frank’s shoulder as he hugged me in silence for a few minutes.

- “47.450”- I whispered as wiped off my tears with my jacket and started walking around the kitchen again.

- “What are you talking about Doc?”

- “47.450 is the number of hours I’ve spent with her ever since I met her. One hour without her and I feel I’m losing my mind. Please help me.”- he stared at me not knowing what to say- “Help me find her.” 

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[shadowynn]

| death's sweet kiss | one |

♥♡♠♤♣♧♦♢

pairing: hisoka x fem! reader, chrollo x fem! reader (though, it will mainly be hisoka x reader for the first bit)

genre: soulmate au

warnings: some cursing and violence (not anything crazy in the first part)

summary:

hisoka had never been interested in love and you were just another object to be used for his own personal gain. he never planned to get attached, but it's not long before he finds himself in deeper than he ever planned to be.

No one had ever treated him the way you did, and he often fought the urge to keep you locked up and far away from the rest of the world, where he could keep you all to himself.

despite his outward demeanor, chollo has always longed to be loved, and yet, no matter how long he searches, you always remained just out of reach. and then, just when he's given up, you come tumbling into his life in a whirlwind he had never expected.

It’s no wonder Hisoka is so enraptured by you. You’re so terribly pure, it feels as though it’s a sin to think I could ever have you.

wordcount: 6.6k

a/n: so, this is something a bit different than my other works, but also a piece i've been working on for over a year now and honestly the piece that got me back into writing fanfiction after a pretty long break. as stated above, this piece will focus mostly on hisoka x reader for the first ten - twelve parts and will then delve more into the chrollo x reader side of things. as i've also mainly just watched the 2011 version of the anime, it will follow that version of events than others, though i might mix things up every so often. anyways, i hope you all enjoy and feedback is always appreciated :)

| one | two |

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“Man, what a loser.”

Your eyes paused at their spot in your book to peek over the cover and watch the white-haired boy plop down next to you with a sigh. You hadn't quite heard what he had just said over the music coming from your headphones, but the orange can he was fiddling with gave you some idea.

You quickly scanned the room around you, assuming he must have been talking to someone else, but it soon became clear his words were directed towards you. There was too much distance between you and the rest of the applicants for him to be talking to anyone else. Why he had decided to sit next to you, however, you hadn't a clue.

"That's poisoned, you know?" You pulled your right headphone behind your ear as you spoke. He wasn't the first person to attempt a conversation with you upon your arrival to the Hunter's Exam, but he was the first you had given a proper reply to in a while. He seemed harmless enough, at least more harmless than the other applicants that had approached you so far, and you were almost certain the cans being handed out were laced with some sort of drug or poison, so you couldn't very well let the boy just drink it in good conscious. "Well, at least I'm assuming it is."

You had been presented with a similar can on juice almost immediately upon your entry an hour or so earlier, and while the man had played the role of friendly veteran nearly flawless, his body had spoken a different story. It had practically screamed danger when he had proffered the can, leaving you to quickly decline his offer with a fake smile of your own and leaving before he could attempt to pull anything else. You had known you would need to be on edge for the Exam, but you hadn't expected anything like this to happen the moment you had walked through the doors.

"He laced them with a laxative, but I'm not worried." The kid shrugged, the trace of a smirk lining his lips as he popped the can open. "Poisons don't hurt me." And before you could stop him or question exactly what he meant, he downed the entire can in one swig.

"A laxative?" Your lips twisted as you mulled over his revelation, gaze glancing across the room to where he was now trying the very same scheme on the most recent group of rookies to arrive, one of whom appeared just as young as the boy beside you. You hated to admit it, but it was a smart play. Absolutely horrible, but smart. Mix the right one in and he would easily be able to kick out the competition before the exam had even started. "I can't imagine anyone would want to come back after an incident like that. No wonder he's considered the rookie crusher; he's really got it out for the first timers."

"I heard he pretty much gave up on passing the exam a long time ago. He just comes back each year to ruin it for the rookies, so I thought it would be funny to see his reaction when I keep drinking them." He paused for a second, eyeing the now empty can in his hands. "Well, that, and I'm just thirsty."

You glanced at the boy next to you once more before tugging your headphones down around your neck and closing your book. Both items had been used as a barrier against unwanted attention since your arrival. You weren't the only female applicant, but one of the only female rookies from what you could tell, leading many of the male veterans eager to 'help a girl out". It had taken over half an hour for them to understand you weren't interested and finally leave you be, and since then, you had started picking up just as much gossip on yourself as you had on the exam and its other applicants. Eventually, you had just turned up the volume of your music and tuned them out altogether, not wanting to hear any more of the comments they were making towards you anymore.

"If you're just thirsty, you might want to try some actual water instead," you replied, reaching inside your bag and rumbling around for one of the spare water bottles you had brought. "Immune to poisons or not, it'll feel better on your stomach in the long run."

You knew his young appearance was deceiving. He had made it to the exam, after all, but you couldn't stop yourself from wanting to help him out. There was a calculated sharpness in his eyes, a telltale sign that life had aged him faster than his physical body had grown. You could see your younger self in those catlike eyes, and your want to help lighten the invisible load surprised you.

He paused, taking a moment to measure you up before taking the plastic bottle from your hand. Whether it was because he expected this bottle to be laced with another poison or that he was just surprised by the act of kindness, you weren't sure, but the way his eyes softened ever so slightly afterwards had you leaning towards the latter. "I'm Killua, by the way."

“y/n, it’s nice to meet-”

A scream echoed throughout the tunnel before you could finish your sentiment, causing the both of you to quickly pop up to your feet in search of the source. You knew a cry of pain when you heard one and was quick to scan the crowd for a source. Stretching up on your toes, you followed the rest of the crowd's gaze towards the middle of the group where an opening was now being creating, separating two men from the rest. The one facing you was the first to catch your attention, leaving you to watch in horror as the last bit of his arms dissolved into a flurry of flower petals.

It took only a few seconds for the shock of the scene to disappear and send you into motion. You weren't sure if you could do anything to help; reattaching the limbs would have been easy enough if there was something to reattach, but growing new ones? Even with your years of training, you were almost certain that was beyond your ability. Still, you had to do something, if only to help ease the pain for a moment, but you quickly came to a stop when you finally caught sight of the man who had created the commotion.

You had never been the type of romantic to believe in love at first sight, but your parents' marriage had held enough evidence for you to thoroughly believe in the idea of soulmates. You may have been young at the time, but it had been obvious to you that the two had been made for each other. Two halves that had made a whole. But it wasn't until later in life that you had discovered the idea of soulmates wasn't just a romantic fantasy, but a reality. One only had to learn nen to discover the truth for themselves.

The marks had begun appearing when you were only sixteen, just as you were finally beginning to really develop and hone your skill. You had run to your uncle in a panic, not quite understanding what they were or why they wouldn't come off no matter how hard you had scrubbed. It was only then that you finally learned the truth. Soulmates really did exist and nen helped guide you to them with soulmarks, a tattoo-like marking that mirrored a part of themselves alongside a name.

Everyone had at least one, but there were some like yourself and your uncle who had two or more, though his had both faded away over the years. The first resembled a twelve-legged spider and it's web tracing along the upper half of your chest and neck. Part of the webbing creating the silhouette of a name just below your left collar bone, while the spider hung from its web between your breasts with a cross-like design along its back. It was the mark you had long since come to resent over the years after discovering the meaning behind the spider and its tie to the infamous Phantom Troupe. Once the band of thieves had made their name known to the world, you had kept it hidden, fearful of the repercussions that might come if anyone were to mistake it for the actual group's tattoo or if they simply took offense to your relation to it.

But it wasn't this one that captured your mind at the moment, but the second mark traced along your wrist. It had presented itself in an imitation of a Joker card, complete with an aura-like substance that wrapped around your wrist a few times before extending beyond the back of your hand. The only difference between the card on your wrist and its real-life counterpart was the name traced along the top and bottom. You had stared at it and the image enough in the past six years to have it imprinted in your mind, wondering just who the man it represented was. And today you were finally able to piece everything together.

You had never met the man, seen the man, let alone ever heard his name before, but you knew without a doubt that this was the man who's name had been etched along the inside of your wrist.

This was one of your soulmates.

This was Hisoka.

It was hard to tell exactly how you felt in that moment. While you had never been against the idea of soulmates like some you knew, you had still never taken a major interest in finding yours either. Sure, you were curious and a bit excited about experiencing the type of relationship you had seen your parents share, but you had also never felt like you were ready for it. You had so much growing left to do and so much stronger to get. Perhaps in a few years when you had your Hunter's License and enough confidence in your ability to protect the ones you cared for, but not now. Not when you still had so much left to do and improve on your own.

"So, that's Hisoka." Killua's head tilted as he assessed the scene, mild curiosity across his features. "How do you suppose he did that?"

"You know him?" You barely heard Killua's second question, focusing in on the fact he seemed to be familiar with the man and confirming what your own suspicions had already told you on the man's identity.

Killua shook his head. "No, not really. It's just everyone's been talking about him. Apparently he was the top pick to pass last year before he was disqualified for almost killing an examiner he didn't agree with. Nobody seems to like him."

"Oh." Your face fell, hearing Killua's words echoed from the other nearby applicants. He was right. No one seemed happy he was here.

It was hard to hide the disappointment that pooled inside you, all too quickly able to deduce just what type of man he was. In all your time wondering about your soulmates, you had always worried about whether or not they would accept you and not whether you would accept them. You had already been wary of the other, unsure if you ever wanted to associate yourself with a member of the Phantom Troupe, but you had always held on to some hope with Hisoka. But now, seeing him for the first time, you realized he was no better than the other.

But, then again, what could you say or do to judge them when you had your own blood on your hands.

"Sheesh, what's wrong with you? You look like you've just seen a ghost." Killua's second round of questions drove you back to reality and you ducked back into the crowd before Hisoka had a chance to see you and deduce the same thing as yourself. "You're not squeamish, right? Because if you are, you're not going to make it far here."

"No, no, far from it actually." You shook your head, barely realizing you had been picking at the black sleeve covering your left wrist. "I just thought I knew that guy. The one who lost his arms, that is, but I was wrong. I've never seen him before." The lie flew past your lips with an ease that shocked you, but getting your body to match was the harder challenge. "I guess I'm just more nervous than I thought, huh?" This one wasn't as much of a lie. It was true you were nervous, but knowing that one of your soulmates was just within sight had sent them soaring through the roof.

With the look Killua was giving you, it was obvious he didn't believe you, but a buzzer resounded throughout the corridor before he could question you further. You couldn't keep yourself from visibly jumping at the sound and swore under your breath at the way your nerves were making you act. You had been able to control them to this point, not wanting to be seen as weak, but seeing Hisoka had sent your mental state kiltering precariously.

Forcing yourself to stop for a second, you took a deep breath and did your best to compose yourself before packing up your belongings as neatly as you could while the wall opposite of the entrance began to rise. You didn't have time for something like this. This was the Hunter Exam and if you wanted to beat the odds and pass, you needed to put all your time and energy into doing so. You didn't have time to worry about the pink-haired man and what you thought of him or even the possible rejection that could follow. At least not now. Not until the exam was over and you had a chance to prove your worth to yourself.

"I apologize for the delay. Thank you for waiting." A man had appeared on the other side of the wall. "The entry period for the Hunter applicants is now officially closed, so, without further ado, the Hunter Exam will now begin."

You felt the doubt you had done your best to push aside start to claw its way back as he went through the possible risks involved with their participation, wondering if you really were strong enough to pass. It took all your mental strength to keep it at bay, repeating your uncle's words in your mind. Self doubt is the first step to failure, but believing in one's self is the first step to success. You had spent the last eight years training for this very moment, only finally able to participate once your uncle had deemed you ready. And if he believed in you, then you should as well.

So, with one final breath, you shuffled forward with the rest of the applicants when you were asked to follow.

"I think he's picking up the pace," Killua said, still by your side as the exam officially began. And he was right. What had started as a brisk walk had quickly picked up speed until you were all at a steady jog.

Although your uncle was a licensed Hunter himself and had been an examiner for a few exams in the past, he hadn't told you anything about it, not even on how to find the exam. This meant you were on your own out here, just as clueless as the rest of the rookies here with only a few snippets here and there about what might occur.

“How rude of me, I neglected to introduce myself. I am Satoz, your examiner for the first phase of the exam. It is my responsibility to lead you all to the second phase.” 

“Second? What happened to the first?” One of the applicants towards the front of the group asked, mimicking your own thoughts. Was the first phase of the exam simply making it there?

“The first phase is already underway and is quite simple. All you have to do is follow me to the second phase. So, please, try and keep up.”

It didn't take long for you to realize what you were being tested for in the first phase. Without knowing how long you would be required to run or where exactly you might be going, your mental and physical endurance were being tested.

"This isn't so bad then," you mumbled, more out of your own relief than to Killua. If all you had to do was keep up with the examiner, then you should have no problem finishing the first phase. It wouldn't be fun, but you were confident you could run as long as you needed. Your uncle had seen to that.

"If we only have to follow him, might as well do it the easy way," Killua replied, motioning to the skateboard he held.

Your face lit up at his idea. "Mind if I join you?" you asked. Without skipping a beat, you kicked your left leg far enough back to where you could press the button at the heel before repeating the same process with your other foot. Four wheels popped out from the bottom of each boot, turning them into a pair of roller skates.

"Woah, where'd you get those?" Killua threw down his skateboard, quickly matching your new speed.

"Pretty cool, huh? My uncle gave me a new pair just for the exam."

You'd been given your first set of roller skates when you were just six years old as a way for you to help run deliveries for your parents. The villages you traveled to were small and remote, and you had been eager to help out, so the skates had been a way for you to get around quickly. When your uncle had given you a pair that could easily switch between boots and skates when you were sixteen, you had been ecstatic and worn them nearly every day. That pair alongside a few others had long since worn out, but he had surprised you once again with a new pair before you had left for the exam.

"You mentioned your uncle earlier," Killua began after the first few hours. "What happened to your parents?"

"They're dead." You couldn't help but tense the slightest at his question. You didn't mind his curiosity, it had been nearly ten years now since their deaths and time had slowly helped to ease the majority of the pain, but the topic still always brought up a multitude of memories you didn't like to think about. Especially not after that night two years ago.

"Oh, how'd they die?"

It was at this moment you saw yourself reflected in him once again. Someone who had also been forced to grow up just a little too soon, but while you had had your uncle to pick you up and set you on the right path, turning the tragedy into something that had allowed you to flourish and grow, he had simply become cold and stony. He was broken, even if he didn't realize it himself.

"Have you ever heard of the serial killer the Orphan Maker?" You asked, a bit surprised at the ease you felt in opening up to the boy, and upon Killua's nod, you continued. "We were just in the wrong place at the wrong time and I was too young and weak to stop him from killing them." You paused, taking a breath and pushing back the wave of memories the story brought with it. You had learned to accept the past for what it was and move on, but remembering that night was still painful, leaving you with scars that would never quite heal. "It's why I want to be a Hunter. My parents had shown me the miracle of medicine and healing, but how can you save the people you care for if you're not strong enough to protect them from harm's way? I want, I need to be strong enough to do both."

Killua was silent for a moment. "So, are you a doctor then? Because you look pretty young to be one." His reply hardly surprised you. Something in his own past had left his emotions distorted, leaving a lack of empathy for life and death.

"No, not technically, but feel free to come see me if you have an injury you need attended to, okay?" You smiled at him, hoping he would follow through if he needed. "But, enough about me. What about you? Why do you want to be a Hunter?"

"I don't. I just heard the exam was hard, so I thought I'd try it to see for myself."

Just who was the strange boy beside you? To attempt the exam at his age was strange enough, but to simply want to take it because he had heard it was supposed to be hard was even stranger, especially seeing he wasn't yet familiar with nen.

“Hey! Why don’t you show some respect for the exam?”

Your conversation was interrupted when the applicant Killua had just passed suddenly turned and yelled at him.

“What do you mean?” Killua slowed his pace down to match the applicant, just as confused as you were to why he was being yelled out.

“I mean quit using the damn skateboard. That’s cheating.”

"How's that?" You butted in, pulling up next to Killua once you realized this man was just jealous you had a way to get out of running. "It's an endurance test, sure, but we were told just to follow. Not run."

You expected him to be just as pissed at you as he was with Killua, but his face only turned a bright shade of red when he turned to look at you.

"She's right, Leorio." It was the boy behind them that spoke up, dressed in green and around the same age as Killua. He must have known this 'Leorio' because his response led to the man's face turning even redder and he quickly mumbled some sort of apology under his breath before turning away.

"Hey, y/n, I think I'm going to run for a bit." Killua, unfazed by the outburst, went to the kid behind you, interested in the other kid his age taking the exam.

You nodded, understanding that talking to a kid his age would probably make for better conversation than you would, especially with the topic the two of you had ended on. "See you at the finish line?"

Killua beamed. “You betcha!”

The next few hours dragged on and you were left with nothing more than your own thoughts to keep you company as you weaved in and out of the crowd. Now that Killua had left you, you pulled your headphones back up over your ears in an attempt to distract yourself, but found it little help when your eyes kept glancing over at the man near the front. You told yourself you needed to keep an eye on him to make sure you stayed out of his eyesight, needing to focus on the exam for now, but that didn't stop your eyes from lingering every time you glanced his way. Nor did it stop yourself from realizing the main reason you wanted to keep out of sight was for fear of how he would react to the same revelation you had made.

Not everyone was interested in finding their soulmates, and you knew they could bring just as much pain to someone as they could joy. There were some who just didn't accept the person whose name was etched on their skin because they held no interest and some who had simply already committed their life to another. You didn't know anything about Hisoka. let alone how you actually felt about it all yourself, and yet, the idea of being rejected absolutely terrified you. What if it was because he had been expecting someone different? Someone stronger, or prettier, or more confident? What if it was because you simply weren't enough? A rejection that would sting much more than if he had simply already found someone else.

But no matter how often the man strayed into your thoughts, you knew it wasn't something you could afford to think about right now. You couldn't let him distract you from what truly mattered at the moment. the exam. You would finish it, and you would pass it, and then you could worry about the name on your wrist.

Unfortunately for you, the ease of the first phase came to a stop when the flat expanse of the tunnel you had been running in came to an end at the foot of a giant flight of stairs. The examiner didn't even pause at the change in terrain, simply making his way up them without the slightest change in pace. Seeing no other way around it and dreading what was to come, you flipped the wheels of your skates back into your boots and began making your way up after him.

While you had lost a handful of people over the first stretch, people started faltering more and more as you made your way up the stairs with no end in sight. You managed to hold your spot in the middle with relative ease, but it didn't take long before you were beginning to feel the burn yourself. You were almost certain you were close to the end, but exactly how much further, you hadn't a clue. But just as you were beginning to lose hope of it ever actually ending, light began to shine from further up ahead. You picked up your speed with renewed energy, and after a few more agonizing minutes, you had made it outside with a gentle breeze blowing that felt like heaven against your hot and sweaty skin.

"Hey, y/n!" Killua called to you when he saw you pass through the exit, a bright smile on his face as seeing you had also made it. "You got any more of that water?"

You nodded, breathless from the run, and slowly made your way over to him and the boy he had met earlier. Pulling your bag onto one shoulder, you rummaged around to find one of the four plastic bottles you had left and tossed it over to Killua. "Would you like one too?" you asked the other boy, feeling guilty if you didn't offer him one as well.

"That would be great, thanks!" he beamed. "I'm Gon!"

"y/n, it's nice to meet you Gon," you replied with a smile of your own before tugging your hair out of its ponytail long enough to pull it into a bun on top of your head and get the sweaty strands off the back of your neck. About a third of the examinees filled the clearing around you with a fairly steady stream of more coming through the tunnel behind you. "Is this our final destination?"

"Nope, not yet- Oh, hey, Kurapika!" Gon answered before waving to one of the applicants who had just come through behind you. He was younger than you as well, but closer to your age than the other two and standing around the same height as yourself. Still breathless from the run, he nodded his head at Gon and made his way over to your small group.

"Hey, where'd you get the water?" Another guy came up behind Kurapika, and though he was looking a bit more worse for wear than he had earlier - his shirt now tied around his waist in an attempt to cool down and coated in sweat - you quickly recognized him as the man who had yelled at Killua and you a few hours earlier.

"Miss y/n gave it to us!"

You couldn't hold back the giggle that came up when you saw the look that spread across his face when Gon pointed over at you. He must have recognized you just as easily with the blush that started blooming once more. Giving him a small wave, you tossed the last bottle over to him. The action caught him by surprise and left him scrambling to catch it after bouncing off his chest.

"I think the fog is lifting." Kurapika was the first to take notice of the subtle change in the air following their exchange, taking in their surroundings with a careful eye.

"Do you think-" you started, but your question was answered before you could finish it when the examiner began to address them once more.

“The Milsy Wetlands, also known as Swindler’s Swamp. We must cross it to reach phase two of the exam. This place is home to a large group of truly bizarre animals, many of which are crafty, voracious creatures who deceive and feast on human prey. So, please do try and be careful. If you’re deceived, you’ll surely die.” Satoz continued, unfazed as the entrance to the tunnel closed behind them. “These wetland creatures are not to be underestimated. They will use every trick in the book to fool their prey. This is an ecosystem in which all creatures hunt by the art of deception. So, please follow me closely and you won’t be deceived.”

Though you felt the same sense of dread as the rest of the examinees, you still felt a slight wave of relief as he went through the second half of the first phase. The swamp would be your first real test of combat outside of training which did make you a bit nervous, but you had no reason to worry about being deceived. As long as you were using the alternate version of gyo to assess the beings around you, it would be near impossible for anyone to pull a lie past you. 

“Is he messing with us?” The man, Leorio if she was remembering correctly, scoffed. “If we know they’ll try and deceive us, who’s going to fall for it?”

“Don’t let him fool you!” Mumbling overtook the crowd as a man appeared behind the entrance behind you, and you nearly jumped in surprise. He looked like he had just gotten out of a fight, with patches of black and blue scattered amongst the scratches along his skin. “He’s lying! That man is lying to you!”

Though his appearance had startled you, you knew he was lying before he even opened his mouth. Just one quick scan on his body and you were quick to see he wasn’t even human. You had no idea what type of creature he was, but it was clear he was not the human he appeared to be on the outside, his internal structure and feel was far too different. He must have been one of the creatures Satoz had just warned you about. 

“You do realize he’s the one lying, right?” you mumbled in response when Leorio started falling in with the side of the crowd that was favoring this new creature over Satoz.

“Yeah, and what makes you so sure about that, huh?”

“A liar, no matter how experienced, will always betray themselves in some way. If you know what to look for, it’s easy enough to decipher the truth for yourself.”

While your words did begin to sway him a bit, he didn’t seem entirely convinced either, simply frowning as he looked from Satoz to the creature and back again, mumbling under his breath as he mulled it over. 

But before you could say anything else to convince him fully, three playing cards struck the creature with a strong enough force to kill him before his body ever hit the ground. The same amount of cards went flying towards Satoz, but he was able to catch them before they hit with very little effort. 

“I see, I see. You are the real one then.”

You knew who had thrown them without having to follow the gaze of the rest of the crowd. You had your own card with his name on it sketched along the inside of your wrist after all, and any doubts you might have had before were completely squashed. If you weren't certain this was your Hisoka, you were certain now, and found yourself ensuring your left glove was still tucked safely inside the end of your sleeve. 

Even though you were expecting him this time around, it didn’t stop your heart from skipping a beat when you went to look at him, inwardly cursing the universe for thinking now was the right moment for the two of you to finally cross paths. As though the Hunter Exam wasn’t stressful enough, you now had to worry about what might happen when he realized you were here too. And he would, if he hadn’t already. Your usage of nen making you stick out like a red flag among the other applicants. 

“Wow, y/n, you were right.” Gon interrupted your train of thoughts when he referred to your earlier statement about Satoz being the real examiner. “He was lying.”

“I don’t even think he was human,” Kurapika added, eyes trailing to the body now being picked apart by vultures. “We need to be sure to not let our guard down.”

You nodded, rolling out your shoulders as you attempted to refocus on the task at hand. But it was easier said than done when you finally took off again. Not only did you have to focus on staying close enough to the examiner so you could track him, but you also had to try and focus on staying out of Hisoka’s sight as well. A task that you quickly came to realize was impossible at this point, and could only hope he wouldn’t be able to get a clear picture of you through the murky fog that surrounded you.

But as much as you hated the extra set of nerves, it did help to keep your adrenaline high and give you an extra boost of energy to keep you going, especially when your position with Gon and Killua put you just ahead of Hisoka. Normally you would have struggled to keep the pace the two boys were going after the marathon you had just ran, but you found yourself almost urging them to go faster and create an even bigger distance between yourself and the man a few meters behind you.

“I think we should try and move ahead to the front.” You had no qualms with Killua’s statement a few minutes later, and neither did Gon. However, you were surprised when he listed his reason why a few seconds later. “I just want to put some distance between Hisoka and us. Staying close is dangerous, I can smell it.”

“Huh? I don’t think he smells.” Gon replied with a naivety that betrayed his actual age, but he still glanced behind them before yelling at the other two applicants he had befriended to let them know you were going on ahead.

But things didn’t quite go to plan a few minutes after you pushed on ahead. One second Gon and Killua were right beside you and the next second you could hear them screaming as they fell through a hole that had just appeared in the ground. You slid to a stop, heart rapidly picking up pace as the worst case scenario flew into your head, but your fears of them falling to their death were quickly proven wrong when you spun around and saw a giant frog stepping out of the hole they had just fell into, leaving you to quickly wonder if this was a worse scenario or not.

You could feel the panic rising up, but you stifled it before it could overwhelm you and affect your coming actions. As long as you stayed calm and level headed, you could fix this and save them. This was your first real challenge of the exam and you were determined to not mess it up. You could do this.

With a deep breath, you used the alternate form of gyo to observe the frog and saw the two boys you were with had indeed been swallowed, but alive. With one more breath, you lept on top of the frog’s back, who had been oblivious of your presence until this moment. Pressing both hands against his back, you closed your eyes and sent your aura flooding into his body. After a few seconds of familiarizing yourself with his body, you used your nen to force the right muscles to contract and cause the frog to throw them back up.  

The force of the action whipped you off his back and sent you flying back into a nearby tree. You managed to right yourself just in time, gathering your footing in just a few seconds before heading back to where the two boys now were. 

“Ack, so gross!” Killua’s voice snatched her attention first, but one quick scan on his body was all it took for her to see that the two were just fine physically. The only issue was that they were now both coated in the frog’s vomit.

“Are you guys okay?”

“Yeah, I guess he just didn’t like the taste of us, huh?”

“Are you okay, y/n?” Gon asked, wiping himself off as best he could before walking over to you, barely concerned with what had just happened to him. 

“I’m all good!” you nodded, flashing them a smile and a thumbs up, thankful they had taken the frog’s upset stomach to have been caused by the can of poisoned juice Killua still had on him. It saved you from having to try and come up with a lie on how you had gotten them out of there on your own. 

“Well, come on then. We need to keep moving. I bet we can still make it if we start right now.” Killua seemed just as unperturbed by the situation, taking just a second or two to wipe himself off before running back into the woods.

With a shrug of your shoulders towards Gon, you took off after him. As long as they were both okay, you figured he was right. You could still make it to the end of the phase if you kept going.

It wasn’t long before you caught sight of Satoz and the few applicants who had managed to evade the dangers of the swamp well enough to keep up with him. Killua was right at your side, though Gon was nowhere to be seen when you turned to look, losing him somewhere along the way. But as much as you were worried about the boy and where he might have gone, you knew he was more than capable of handling himself. If he had made it this far, then there was more than met the eye with him just as it was with Killua.

So, you pushed any negative thoughts of Gon out of your head and chased after Satoz alongside Killua. Before you knew it, the fog was clearing and Satoz had stopped in his tracks declaring they had finally reached their destination. You were a wheezing mess, lungs burning with each breath and legs feeling like they may collapse at any second, but you had made it. You had passed the first phase. 

♥♡♠♤♣♧♦♢

#hxh #hxh fic #hunter x hunter #hisoka x reader #chrollo x reader #hisoka morrow #chrollo lucilfer #anime #soulmates #soulmate au

[quiverwingquack]

🔥common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing🔥

choose violence.

25. common fandom complaint that you’re sick of hearing

THE SCROOGE AND WEBBY TWIST WAS NOT OUT OF NOWHERE! I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH! Welcome to my fucking TED Talk!!!

Look, I’m autistic. This show is my special interest, my comfort media, the thing that’s been there for me through it all. I know most people are not nearly as obsessive about it, and haven’t watched every episode like six times, which I have.

But to brush off a twist that you don’t like, simply because you didn’t see it coming, isn’t right. The foreshadowing was there as early as the pilot, with Webby mirroring the Scrooge statue. It’s in Toth Ra, when Scrooge desperately searches for her and calls out her name, even though Louie also got lost with her. It’s literally the plot of Confidential Casefiles, where Scrooge realizes she’s as bold and adventurous as he is and immediately starts to build a bond with her.

It’s in Last Crash and Treasure of the Found Lamp and Nightmare on Killmotor and the end of Moonvasion. It’s right there in their subplot in Double O Duck, it’s in Webby’s worry for her family in Phantom & the Sorceress and her need for his approval in New Gods. It’s in the Fight for Castle McDuck, where she brings the family back together, and in Foreverglades and Santa Stole Christmas where Webby parent-traps Scrooge into mending his relationships with his exes.

That’s just what I can come up with from reading the episode titles off Wikipedia, and I guarantee you I missed some! It’s so engrained in the show that you find it in almost all their interactions. Webby is so much like Scrooge and wants to make him proud and Scrooge loves her more than anyone else and is always so proud of her even if he struggles to say it.

The reason no one saw it coming is, I think, a mix of the show being cut short and good writing. Webby’s plot definitely could’ve—and should’ve—had more to it, but they were trying to pay off a lot(the resolutions for their entire ensemble cast, the Disney Afternoon references and plots they’d planned, the plot with Bradford that started as early as the pilot). If they’d had more time things would be different! But also, this was an incredible writing crew! Frank Angones worked on Wander Over Yonder before this, and Dana Terrace made Owl House afterward. From what I’ve read in interviews and the art book, they kept the twist to the writer’s room and told David Tennant, to support his performance as Scrooge. And then you get to the end and it’s like “oh yeah, we told Kate Micucci the day she came to record that episode” or something like that. Not even the crew knew what they were foreshadowing! But if you take the time to rewatch it after you’ve found out, it’s literally all over the series.

Anyway, as Frank Angones once said, “I must establish an elaborate series of callbacks and payoffs or else I simply vanish.”

#duckverse #ducktales #scrooge mcduck #webby mcduck #webby vanderquack #ask game #mine! #krueger4eva thank you for handing me a One Free Infodump Pass i genuinely had so much fun writing abt this #like this twist literally rewired my brain. i write differently now because i took notes on how frank and the crew paid it all off.

[shankschewtoy]

Hi! I've been lurking here for quite some time now and I love your blog! 🤍 Just saw your requests are open so I thought I'd try my luck😊

Could I request headcanons for Luffy, Ace and Sabo with a fem reader who happens to be Luffy's biological older sister (like 9 years older than him) and she kind of adopts Ace and Sabo as her brothers too and is almost like their mother figure. If it's not too much to ask, could you mix it up between ASL as kids and as big boys? I just love them so much 🤍

I hope you have an amazing day, I love your writing and I wanna thank you in advance if you feel like writing for my request🤍 if not, that's fine as well, I'm just happy to read whatever else you deliver 🤍

a/n - I audibly gasped- idk if my heart can take this 😭 anon this idea is so adorable I can’t- 🥺 tysm for this request! It brightened my day a lot lol <3

Warnings ⚠️ - fem reader, fluff!

Younger au -

Luffy

- awwww he loves his older sister!!

- I mean he’s kind of a handful so you might have to keep him outta trouble a lot of the time tho

- you must force him to bathe for the sake of the entire world

- please. I’m begging you. Chuck him into the fucking bucket of water idk-

- AND TELL HIM THAT SOAP ISNT FOR EATING PURPOSES

- you really were that one person who stayed with him whenever he was lonely

- As he said, it’s more painful to be alone

- Luffy looks up to you for a lot of things, and sometimes you’ll find him mimicking what you do hehe

- Let’s say you’re helping someone walk across a busy street, carrying their bags because their hands were full

- Luffy will try to do the exact same thing (key word try) the very next day, but end up screwing it up somehow

- he ate this poor old lady’s groceries lmao

- he’s trying though! His heart’s in the right place :)

- When you met his brothers, Ace and Sabo, you were more than happy to accept them as your family, the more the merrier!

- … yes you had to bathe all three of them now good luck-

- Dadan thought you were an Angel sent from the heavens

- Compared to the fucking demons like Luffy, Sabo, and Ace lmao

- Luffy wants to be able to make you proud of him, all he wants is for you to be happy!

- His pride gets so fucking big when you say how cool his attacks were and stuff lol

- “You’re just a weird rubber man!” -ace

- “No I’m not! Don’t make fun of the gomu gomu no mi!”

- “Hey Luffy! That attack was cool!” -you

- … “REALLY?! HAHA! See ace?! Y/n thinks it’s cool!”

- he immediately perks up whenever you tell him stuff like that lmao

Sabo

- he was a bit skeptical at first, but not nearly as suspicious as ace was of you

- He immediately took a liking to you, and started looking up to you like Luffy did :)

- out of the three, he was the more responsible one (no this doesn’t mean he’s responsible in any way)

- Sabo often watched you do daily tasks with the most amazed look on his face

- The poor boy didn’t have much of a mother figure or role model to go off of, so you were amazing in his eyes!

- He loved it when you read stories to all three of them, that was his favorite part of the day :)

- Although he’s read the books you read to them numerous times, listening to the way you read is all worth it!

- (he prefers it when you make up your own stories hehe)

- he never admits that tho bec Ace would never let him hear the end of it lmao

- Sabo’s an extremely curious kid, so he asks you questions literally every second he sees you

- “Hey y/n!! I found a weird bug, it has a bunch of legs! Look!” (It’s a fucking centipede)

- You honestly don’t really enjoy poisonous bugs

- “SABO THAT’S POISONOUS GET AWAY FROM IT- NO DON’T EAT IT LUFFY NO-!”

- … Luffy’s alive dw lmao

- one time, Sabo heard something from ace, probably something children of their age shouldn’t be hearing

- “Y/n.. What’s a cunt? Ace was talking about it earlier and he never told me what it was.”

- “.. ace?..”

- you beat ace’s ass later

- You felt so horrible, you had to turn Sabo’s mind much to early

- Sabo has been traumatized lmao

- Sabo stopped asking questions for a little while-

Ace

- this boy is so suspicious of you at first- like I’m talking squinting eyes, crossed arms, and he’s always paying attention to your every move

- at some point you played along with it and jump scared him a couple times

- He’ll never forgive you for that /j

- honestly, he looks at you as his true family (never says that out loud)

- It was from you where he learned the importance of love, care, compassion, and empathy

- The boy didn’t have much love growing up, everyone seemed to think he was such a cursed child, that he never should’ve been born in the first place

- Maybe that was why he was so suspicious of you. Why did you care about him so much?

- He’ll never admit it, but he really does like your hugs :)

- Makino and you taught this rude boy some manners (yes that’s how we got to the lovable fire boy we now know today)

- He totally, 100%, didn’t call you “mom” once :)

- “Hey mom. Luffy ate all the snacks again! Now he won’t stop crying about how we don’t have anymore!”

- “… I’m your mom now?”

- …

- ace = 💥😳

- Man exploded, his entire body turned bright fucking red 😭

- “I SAID Y/N! Are you deaf?!”

- “do you have memory loss?! I heard you call me mom!”

- “No I didn’t!”

- “YES YOU DID!”

- he did it again about a couple days later lmao

Older au

- oh these boys still love you!

- ace now tackles you whenever he gets the chance to visit you or see you

- you never thought the day would come that he’d willingly give you a hug lmao

- Sabo loves telling you all about his adventures in the revolutionary army!

- he vents to you about how Koala always keeps him out of trouble (koala is amazing 😭)

- Luffy rants on and on about his new nakama!

- He loves them so much, and it’s so adorable whenever he starts talking about how funny and awesome they are 🥺

- “Oh yeah! And our cook, Sanji. His food is THE BEST! And then Zoro! He can never find out where he’s going, but he wields THREE swords. THREE! Then Brook, he’s a skeleton. And he’s dead shishishi—!”

- (man I’m about to cry 🥺💜)

- With ace, it’s more of him just suffocating you with warm hugs, it’s mostly silent catching up y’a know?

- These three are proud to call you their sister, after all

- You were the one that helped them get to where they are now, they couldn’t even imagine what life would’ve been like without you with them along the way 💜

a/n - oh I love these precious boys 😭

#one piece #one piece hcs #anime hcs #strawhat luffy #luffy #monkey d. luffy #luffy one piece #luffy headcanons #sabo the revolutionary #sabo headcanons #sabo one piece #fire fist ace #ace headcanons #ace one piece #portgas d. ace

[lloydfrontera]

Nevermind me asking for novel spoilers, I just waited a week and read chapter 123 myself. This was. I don't know what I expected but this was worse than I thought. Everybody is dancing and relaxing and they have no idea that Lloyd just saw or heard of all their deaths. I wonder why Javier didn't get mentioned in the ending spoiler, it's not like Lloyd to not care about him. I hope that's because Javier is all alone like he was in the book, and not because he's dead too and it was too painful for Lloyd to talk about. Which means that Lloyd/Suho died alone, technically killed himself drinking, and with no certainty that his past self would see him and hear all that. Oh gosh. That's not even something he can fight, it's all little things that nobody could stop. That's going to be interesting to see how he tries to prevent all that.

i am so sorry nonnie i kept meaning to reply to your ask but my inbox is,,, a mess alshdkddfs

this was!!!! such a good episode???? oh my god?????? i really liked it?????? THIS IS THE LEVEL OF QUALITY WE COULD HAVE ALL THE TIME???????

the change to make this particular spoiler happen during a festival for lloyd,,,, diabolical,,,, getting to see everyone happy while lloyd gets told in detail how everyone will die,,,, oh my god,,,

I wonder why Javier didn't get mentioned in the ending spoiler, it's not like Lloyd to not care about him. I hope that's because Javier is all alone like he was in the book, and not because he's dead too and it was too painful for Lloyd to talk about.

funny you should mention this because it is indeed my one complaint about the chapter lol

in the novel this spoiler isn't told outloud by lloyd. instead he's writing in a journal, which our lloyd initially takes to mean everything went okay because he was never one to write journals so the fact that he took on such a boring pastime must mean everything is fine, right?

it wasn't fine. at all.

in fact, as his future self passes every page, he gets to see every entry as things get worse and worse. it's somehow even more heartbreaking like that because we see lloyd's immediate thoughts as everything falls apart around him and not just a condensed version told months later.

but the point is! at the last moment, when lloyd has finished writing down his last entry, saying how he now just wants to... rest, admitting that he already came back once thanks to the bonus life from berkis, he starts convulsing, throwing up blood and covering the entire page with blood. and right as everything is fading away he hears someone into the rush calling out to him.

and lloyd's last word is javier's name. btw.

i meant it when i said in almost every spoiler we get to see javier is there with lloyd in one way or another. i don't know why they changed this particular detail, especially when as you said it's uncharacteristic of lloyd not to mention javier at all and someone who hasn't read the novel wouldn't know what happened to him. it makes sense in the novel because he's writing to himself and he knows where and how javier is, so him bursting at the last minute is purely for our benefit, to let us know that he is still there, he is still meant to be the last one standing, he is still the one fate wants to carry on with the story. but if he doesn't appear in the webcomic then lloyd should at least mention him in his message to substitute that.

it's weird. i wonder if they're gonna talk about it in the next chapter.

Which means that Lloyd/Suho died alone, technically killed himself drinking, and with no certainty that his past self would see him and hear all that.

yeah. Yeah. starting with this spoiler a pattern emerges concerning how increasingly self-inflicted lloyd's deaths are which is Fun :)

and yeah! we're officially into the second half of the plot where the most interesting and insane things happen so! it's gonna be real fun :DD!!!

#hey i got an ask #Anonymous #tged #the greatest estate developer #lloyd frontera #ep 123 #ch 251

[zgvlt]

stick to the script sebek zigvolt x reader

summary: You and Sebek don't quite get how you're supposed to play your respective roles when you can't stop arguing with each other

tags: gender neutral reader, sfw, rivals with mutual pining, repressed people, AU: no magic, AU: theatre, kissing, 1.7k+ words, not beta read

author’s note (see end notes for more): trying something new? i usually write sebek softly, and i don't really write dynamics like this, so i thought i would try it for fun + practice... i also just really want to write more theatre AUs the rook fic was not enough

[you can also read this on AO3]

Sebek couldn't tell anyone how he got into this situation in the first place. One minute he's getting recruited for their school's theatre club due to his good projection and wonderful diction, then he's telling his seniors that he doesn't have the time for such frivolous activities, and the next thing you know he's learning his lines and arguing with you about how to go about a scene.

Well, technically he knows what convinced him to join—Malleus and Lilia, the two seniors he respected most. They both said something along the lines of... exerting his energy somewhere productive?

Sebek never considered that he would have a talent for art—he's aware that his drawings dare not compare to the portraits he's seen in museums, his writing dare not compare to the poetry and prose of his favorite books. Still, perhaps something like this was doable. All he had to do was memorize these lines, right? The action scenes were relatively easy, too—of course they were! He was in the martial arts club, after all!

Besides, his seniors said they would watch him, so obviously he had to...

"Sebek, it's just like you to slack off when your precious seniors aren't in sight," you said, clicking your tongue as you strolled in the dressing room. "Shouldn't you be practicing? The Sevens know you need it."

At the sound of your irritating voice, Sebek immediately regretted joining the production. He should have not signed up at all, even if it meant disappointment on the ends of Malleus and Lilia. How could he even think to do good, no, passable with you of all people as his... stage partner, he would settle calling it.

"I just can't get rid of you, can I?" he retorted, snarling in response, "FIRST you follow me from elementary to high school, SECOND you appear in all my classes, THIRD you join the debate society after I do, and NOW in theatre?!"

"As if!" you huffed, smacking your script onto the vanity table. The thickness of the papers created a resounding thud. 

In the back of his mind, Sebek compared his copy of the script—binded nicely in a clear folder, the plastic sheets keeping them from being dirtied—to yours—bookbinded, with tabs and markings all over. Were you trying to brag, to deliberately show that you read through it more often than him?!

 "You're the one who's following me!” you insisted, with your typical response of trying to turn the tables back on him. “You just can't get enough of me, can you? I mean, I don't blame you. If I wasn't around, your life would be so boring."

He loathed you, he told himself.

"You must be the vainest human I've ever met." 

You grinned then—that cheeky, fiery one that you only ever threw at him, and none of those sickly sweet smiles that you presented to everyone else when you wanted someone to swoon over you. 

"Better vain than delusional, Sebek," you looked at the mirror to begin fixing your appearance, and by his mistake he looked at you through your mirror as well. "Stop staring at me—we should be productive."

He ignored your first comment—it was entirely your fault for being distracting, intrusive, like an invasive species. Anyway, this wouldn't be the first time either one of you had done this routine. He could put aside his... loathing of you for a mutual interest.

"From scene 3?"

"Scene 3, line 17," you specified. It annoyed Sebek, even though he was exactly the type of person to do the same unto you given the chance. "Start already!"

Sebek knew he was supposed to be looking at you in this scene and that you were supposed to be looking at you, too, but he could only withstand looking at your reflection. By the looks of it, by where your eyes were directed, you felt about the same. 

He was sure if he had to lock eyes with you, he wouldn’t be able to withstand it.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Sebek began, performing his part by memory. He knew you would scold him for reading through the script when he’s had a whole month to memorize him. Never mind that everyone else was willing to give the both of you some slack for not being a part of the drama club in the first place—anything you could do, he could do better.

“Why shouldn’t I?” you replied, with as much sweetness as you could muster in your voice. It sickened Sebek, how perfectly you could falsify that tone, a loveliness directed at him that made his stomach churn and his head spin. “We made a promise, didn’t we? Wherever one goes–”

“–the other follows,” Sebek continued, attempting to emulate the same tone as you. You scrunch your face for a moment, but by the way you don’t try to correct him he knows he’s said the line exactly how you wanted him to. 

“I know that, and I know I can’t stop you from coming along, but—”

“Sebek,” you were clicking your tongue again, and as he watched you through the mirror he thought, for the nth time today, of how annoying you were. “You messed up the line—you always mess up this line. Haven’t you gotten used to it already?!”

Sebek flushed red in anger—it was one thing to be wrong, and it was another to be told by you, as though you were disappointed in him, as if you had expectations of him.

“Like, come on Sebek! Get a grip!”

“Do you know how hard it is to call you these… names?! You of all people?”

“Well it’s difficult for me too!” you exclaimed, standing up only to face him properly, finally ready to throw all your emotions at him. “Do you think it’s easy for me to look you in the eye and call you darling and my beloved?

“But I’m at least trying to say them as naturally as possible! If you don’t wanna be replaced, you better start working on doing the same… honey.”

The pet name should have sounded awkward coming from your mouth with how you forced yourself to spit it out, but Sebek’s ears must have been malfunctioning today. Like the substance you mentioned, the word came out viciously viscous, and with every drop of attention you gave him—the huffs and puffs and glares and stares—he lapped it all up, as if watching to see if you would finally break first.

“As if you could find anyone to replace me, dear,” Sebek commented haughtily, knowingly, “maybe YOU’RE the problem, have you considered that? Maybe I’ll get myself a different partner, then!”

Never mind that should either one of you leave, the other gets no real say on the replacement; never mind that should either one of you leave, the other will clearly do so as well.

With all your fighting, nobody knows you as intimately and deeply as he does. That is to say, nobody else will know just how bothersome and downright maddening you could be.

“Will you, now?” You don’t even sound doubtful anymore, don’t even try to pretend. 

With all your fighting, nobody knows him as intimately and deeply as you do.

“I suppose I pity who you end up being partnered with, then,” you feigned a sigh, “having to pair up with someone who always has a stick up his ass.”

“Better than someone who always wants to have it their way,” he replied in unkind, “always wants to have the last say, can’t stand the fact that someone is capable of being better than them.”

You grit your teeth, and Sebek stared at your mouth, eyes trained on the movement of your lips.

“Gods, do you ever shut the fuck up?”

“YOU’RE the one who won’t stop talking when I’m just trying to practice our script!” he stood up from his seat, as if preparing to leave you alone in the dressing room. “You’re wasting my breath with this.”

“Then do us both a favor and stop talking.”

It’s an invitation for something. The most logical as to what for would be to continue arguing with you, to call you a hypocrite or some other word in the thesaurus synonymous with your name. 

Ruling with his head, however, is hardly ever an option around you.

“As long as you stop talking as well.”

And then Sebek takes a few steps forward, smashing your lips together. He’s unsure if this should count as a loss against you—him being the first to initiate this—or if he’s won with how quickly you reciprocate the act. 

Sebek, if caught in this position with you—his hands cupping your face, yours perched atop his shoulders—would claim that he had not expected the argument to end like this. However, nobody had entered the room, so there would be no need for anyone to question his honesty.

He’s burning brightly, and the warmth on his hand, lighting his fingertips aflame can come from nowhere but your neck and cheeks.

He’s lost. He’s definitely lost, but when you pull him closer he knows that so have you.

Sebek makes a sound of irritation as your lips leave his, and in the midst of catching your breath you whisper, “you’re annoying.”

Then you lean in again, because apparently you like kissing people you find annoying. 

You said that last time, too—or perhaps it was vexatious you had called him. Whatever it was didn’t matter too much as last time, you also insisted there would be no next time. He supposed nothing was definite in the four walls of the dressing room.

Or the four walls of any other room.

When Sebek breaks away from the kiss, masking the pants of his breath and resting his forehead against yours with far more intimacy than he should allow to happen, he wants to tell you it was awful. You didn’t ask, but he knows it would irk you to hear it, and he knows it would lead to another heated argument.

That heated argument would turn into you trying to prove him wrong, and maybe that’s why he doesn’t tell you it was awful—because it would lead to him kissing you again.

That, and, because he would be lying if he said it was awful. He has no intention of telling you, however, that it was anything but.

“You’re the bane of my existence,” Sebek confesses, and you smile as though you had gotten exactly where you wanted to be with him. 

“The feeling’s mutual.”

my other (softer & longer) sebek fics: [one] [two] my rook x theatre actor reader fic

end notes | masterlist

[ 1 ] My past Sebek one-shots, they've all had reader be very nice to Sebek, because I want people to be nice to Sebek and he deserves good and sweet people in his life. I also had Sebek warm up to them very quickly. This time, I went with the opposite -> Sebek and Reader who have known each other for years but still argue everyday. It just seemed fun, so I wrote it.

[ 2 ] The general prompt I was going for was "two people who are very repressed and can't accept that their feelings towards some can change, and maybe it's because they're afraid of change". Of course I don't really explore it, but hopefully I've hinted at the fact that they're very much into each other it's just... easier for them like this.

[ 3 ] I also wanted to write a different reader this time, someone kind of insufferable. You might wonder if it's just to Sebek, and you can imagine what you want, but I think it's more fun if reader genuinely is kind of smug and a bit of a know-it-all, they're just more self aware than Sebek is.

[ 4 ] I wondered if I should call them "enemies" but as much as they would insist on it, they don't hate each other, they don't try to ruin each other's lives or anything. They compete, they argue, and they kiss on the side 🤷‍♀️ They challenge and motivate each other.

[ 5 ] No basis for what play/musical they're doing since I didn't want to restrict myself. In my imagination, though, there were action sequences, and Sebek and reader fought other characters on stage together.

[ 6 ] "How often do they kiss" uhhh enough for Sebek to not freak out about it too much (in front of you), make your guesses

Anyway, if you have any further questions about reader and Sebek for this fic feel free to drop and ask I probably have the answer in my head nyehehe

#sebek zigvolt x reader #sebek zigvolt #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x you #twst imagines #twst #twisted wonderland #nathya twst writing #its 1 am i am usually asleep at 11 pm so good night

[ac-liveblogs]

Greetings! Can I share my woes with you, fellow stranger? I... honestly cannot believe that a game like genshin could possibly exist. I'm almost done with the Fountain AQ and lemme just say that... This dumbfuck journey through the nations made me fear for my own sanity. There is almost NEVER any logical progression between the stages of the quests and literally only 2,5 people in the whole fandom ever talk about this! Half the time you cannot tell why the characters are doing what they are doing and even when you can see the logic behind their actions the actions themselves are usually stupid af. And then there are world quests that are written as if they exist in some entirely different worlds! Like how the Meropide from the AQ and from the Unfinished Comedy are two completely different prisons, because NO WAY are they run by the same Duke guy. So, I've been very troubled by this. Have I lost my last braincells and this is why I can't comprehend the very good writing of the very good hoyo? Is everyone else just playing a different genshin that ACTUALLY makes sense?? Am I insane or is it the world around me that has gone mad???

Salutations, kind stranger, please take a seat!

To risk sounding very unkind, my general impression behind a lot of the discussion surrounding Genshin's story and character writing boils roughly down to this post;

Because I do get the general sense that what sticks with most people are the big dramatic moments and the general SHAPE of what you expect this all to mean or look like, not what it actually is or says. Which is FINE, praise fanon because god knows this game needs it, but my eye will start aggressively twitching when I see people praising Scaramouche's deep emotionally charged writing (HYV avoided writing as much of his story as possible though) or how meaningful a character Neuvillette is (confusing role in the narrative at best, actively detrimental to the world-building at worst).

And maybe if you're willing to accept lore dumps, explanations that character arcs happened off-screen, character bios, flashback sequences, telling not showing and animated trailers as substitutes for actual writing... then maybe it does seem like a lot is accomplished, even if you do have to bridge the gap with fanon. Like, there's so much lore! And they wrote so many words! It must be smart!!

I did chat to a colleague at work (anime fan; writing a book) who played Genshin and dropped it very early on. I asked "so what did you think of the writing" and without missing a beat he said "embarrassingly bad". So I'm going to say that most of the people that recognise it just dropped it immediately and the majority of the remainders are people that are willing to accept this. And suckers like us who sit open mouthed watching the trainwreck unfold.

Or, there's a secret version of this game I failed to download twice, and you clearly didn't get it, in which case I think we need to find the correct person to complain to about it.

Though speaking of the Fortress of Meropide, I was really amused when 'this is a DARK PRISON' collided with 'this is a GREAT prison and Wrio's so cool' in Wriothesely's quest, where the writers struggled with giving him a dramatic storyline tied to his own location so much they made him accidentally endorse a torture cult without realising how much that clashed with Wrio's previous characterisation of 'I know everything in the Fortress, including that you three are Fatui agents, to the point that I can quiz the Traveller on weird conspiracy theories about this place'.

Or like, "oh I'm really observant, I did notice this weird and suspicious/worrying thing, I just haven't done anything about it" x2 because he can't look ignorant, he's gotta know what's up, but like, think about that a second more and that's worse. Wrio. That's worse, you have to investigate those things. There is a torture cult in the basement and the entire prison almost flooded with people dissolving water, Wrio, we could have avoided these problems!

My current conspiracy theory is this place sucks like the AQ implies, but everyone just lies to Wrio and pretends everything is great and he's doing such a good job running the joint and he just believes them. The bubble almost pops in his character quest, but not quite.

Although, I hate the Fortress in it's entirety and all, but the thing that's sticking with me despite everything that Fontaine did is still.... "these people used to be oceanids but just forgot". Who forgot? Hoyoverse, apparently. Furina's quest sure didn't engage with 90% of the writing surrounding both that and her trial, huh. What a stupid meaningless twist that meant nothing and had no impact whatsoever. Why even do it.

this game is punishment for something and i'm not sure what

#replies #ac plays genshin impact

[thedecadenceofwar]

The Kiss of the Muse: Young Royals. A meta.

Alright. So I was rewatching young royals (stream young royals lets make season 3 happen) and I noticed at the end of episode one, Wille is doing his homework! (Good for him!) And his book is open on this page:

Oh, what an interesting painting, I thought. And then I thought, it’s Young Royals; nothing is by accident. So I went searching for this painting, and I found it. It’s by Cézanne, and it’s called The Kiss of the Muse.

The wonderfully informative cezannepaintings.com had this to say:

The Kiss of the Poet shows a poet who is experiencing difficulty in his writing process. Although the scene doesn't include a writing implement, a piece of paper is resting on the desk. It appears as if the poet was in the middle of creating a poem and got stuck. Exasperation is written all over his face. His entire form screams of a man tired of what he is doing. Dream of a Poet is an apt alternate title for the painting because it describes this scene perfectly. The poet and his eyes closed so the muse on his shoulders could be part of a dream.

Pretty sure they meant Kiss of the Muse at the beginning (whatever, errors happen) but one of the things I want to point out is that the ALTERNATE title for this painting is Dream of a Poet. In this essay I will -

talk about how both titles are symbolic for Wille and Simon, and how they are both the poet and the muse in this painting.

Disclaimer: I don’t have a degree in art history. I don’t know anything. Feel free to disagree with me entirely. Enjoy!

Simon as the Poet; Kiss of the Muse.

Immediately before this scene in Wille’s bedroom takes place is the first time Simon sets a boundary before Wilhelm. I’ve been thinking about you all break, he said, but it’s nice to have some space. You can see in that interaction how exhausted Simon is, how he’s entirely fed up with Wille not being able to understand where he’s coming from.

(Apologies for my godawful Netflix screenshots.)

While Simon might be faced away from his muse, clearly sick of this mental block, Wille is always behind him, always with him. The poet’s muse inspires him to write, just as Wille inspires Simon to write the new Hillerska song. But at this point, Simon has not yet begun; the artist in the painting notably does not have a pen or quill.

It speaks as well I think to Wille’s constant presence in Simon’s life. The poet has given up on his poem. He’s sick of throwing himself at the wall and never being able to get through. And Simon constantly tries to take back his agency; through Marcus, through the Hillerska song, through the boundaries he sets with Wilhelm. But it’s never enough. Wille is constantly with him. The muse stands behind the poet; he cannot see her, but he can feel her presence. Dream of a Poet (the alternate title) implies that he wishes she was there, that he yearns for her constantly and the creative impulses she brings, but he cannot access them.

I feel ascribing the poet to Simon is a fairly obvious comparison; two creators, both feeling stuck and art-blocked. Simon as poet and Wille as muse represents Simon’s artistic and emotional journey through the season; he tries to look the other way, but Wille is always drawing him in, constantly with him.

And oh, the kiss. Simon cannot sing his song without Wille there. The muse is vital for the art.

In episode 4, when Simon realizes Wille has left the ball, he goes in search of him. Wille, the song is about you. He needed Wille to be there, to hear him sing those words because without him there the full impact of the premier is lost. What would happen if the muse left the poet? The kiss must happen. Wille must be present for the song.

Simon goes searching for him because he knows this. If Wille is not present to hear it, the point of Simon writing it is lost. He may not have known it until Wille threatened to leave, but he knows it when he goes after him. He seeks the kiss of the muse. Once he receives it, he is free to make his art again.

Wille as the poet; Dream of the Poet.

Speaking of that kiss. I’m sure we’re all aware at this point that the music that plays during this kiss plays during Wille’s dream at the very beginning of the season. He’s dreamed of this moment for so long, this kiss, and to finally receive it is such ecstasy he’s speechless.

(Look at that queer fucking joy. My god. I nearly cried.)

But I digress. We must return to the point at which he flips the book to the painting. Then we return to Wilhelm’s dream.

So, where is Wille coming from at the moment this painting appears? He is certainly under extreme duress. I would compare him to Cézanne at this moment:

Here, the defeated demeanour of the poet could represent how Cézanne faired during his early days as an artist. It looks as if he has lost hope until a muse bestows inspiration. It took a while for the French painter to gain recognition for his talent and maybe a muse of inspiration had something to do with it.

So Cézanne, like Wille, like the poet, was stuck in a cycle where he was doing his best, trying his hardest at something, and still nothing came of it. Wille is terrified of being crown prince – it affects him so physically he vomits simply at the thought of speaking in front of others. He is fighting as hard as he can but the forces surrounding him are far too big for him to ever prevail against them.

Time and time again, he tries to reason. He tries to threaten. He begs. And always, nothing real comes from it. He gets to stay at Hillerska, he gets his bodyguards moved. He still has to make the speech. Still Crown Prince. Still forced into a role he doesn’t want. With Wille as the poet, the block is less creative and more literal. He wants to be able to do what he wants, to be who he is, but he’s not allowed to be. And he’s allowing this to happen to himself. He begins to mold himself into the shape of the Crown Prince.

But for the dream. The dream of a kiss of inspiration. The one thing driving Wille up until this point (at the ball) is this dream that he can, somehow, win Simon over. His whole motivation is to get Simon back – the means may be questionable at times, but it’s undeniable that Simon IS the force behind Wille’s actions. His muse.

Similarly to Simon, it’s not always necessarily a good thing. In the end, Simon inspires Wille to come out on his terms, but up until the ball, where Wille first tries to let go, what he inspires is a relatively selfish feeling in Wille, the I want of winning Simon back. Likewise, Wille as Simon’s muse almost hangs over his shoulder in every interaction, causing guilt and anger and helplessness. It’s the kiss that changes everything.

Wille dreams of being free. Simon is stuck behind an emotional block. The kiss of these two poets’ respective muses represents the freeing of both of their blocks. Wille’s dream becomes a reality; Simon is able to perform his song. Moving forward, as inspirations for the other they become better versions of themselves as they push away the mental, physical, emotional, and creative blocks that kept them away from each other.

Paul Cézanne’s The Kiss of the Muse, also entitled Dream of the Poet is representative of both Wille and Simon in both roles of the painting, as muse and poet. Both act as inspirations to help the other overcome some kind of block, and one quick flip to a page showing this painting in Wille’s textbook acts as foreshadowing for the entire rest of the season.

#young royals #young royals season 2 #young royals analysis #yr #wilmon #anyway #i just spent two hours of my time doing this #thanks for reading #i hope theres no mistakes bc im not editing all that #my stuff #meta