#and then theres me who feels tired who feels restless who wants to do this and this and this and has the means but learned helplessness is | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vanwritesfan-fiction · 8 months

Text

Mile High

Warnings: angst (mentions of mental health issues), smut, tons of fluff (I love this ending so much)

Author's Notes: Thank you to the anon that sent this in earlier today:

Denver MV visuals has so much potential for a fic 😩 like him cheating on a reader and it hits him later and he’s going through the stages of feeling lonely while on tour or he on tour alone and y/n had to stay back but he feels lonely THERES SO MUCH

Thank you to @harlowcomehome for helping me with my opening ❤️

Artwork by me; please do not use for any reason

Everything in Jack’s life happened behind closed doors.

Business deals were signed within the confines of a conference room, he recorded his music in a soundproof booth, he lived his life away from prying eyes. As long as he was in control, he could control the narrative, and he could minimize the damage. It had worked well for him so far in his career; he held everything dear to him close to his heart, away from the world, for fear that it could easily slip away, and someone would take it from him.

There was a lot riding on his success, a lot of people who counted on him, and there was no way he could let them down. The more he took on, the more fame that came his way, the more difficult it became to protect things he loved, but instead of asking for help, he kept everyone at arm’s length.

Until he met you.

God, you were a breath of fresh air. You refused to be held down, and for the first time in his life, he was forced to get out of his head, and be here with you in the present. You felt like freedom, and as much as that scared him, you were worth the risk.

It wasn't until you were away from each other for an extended period of time, that he realized how much he needed you, how much you guided him through life, keeping him from falling off of the edge. Jack was in the middle of his first US arena tour, and the grind was starting to get to him. He was running off of minimal sleep, he hadn't seen you in weeks, and all of the days were starting to blur together.

"No, we're in Denver for 48 hours before we head to Minneapolis".

Click.

Jack flinched at the sound of Neelam clicking her pen as she took a business call. He had been sitting in the same chair, trapped in the four walls of his hotel room for the past couple of hours going over the logistics of his next few tour stops, and he was starting to get restless. He rested his chin on the table, rolling an apple back and forth between his hands. He had lost his appetite a while back.

"We need to decide on the setlist, Jack." Click.

"And we need to confirm wardrobe with your team." Click.

"Soundcheck is at 6pm tonight." Click. Click.

Jack forced his chair back, hitting the wall as he stood up, making a b-line for the door. "Wait, where are you going?" Neelam called after him, the slam of the door Jack's only response.

"What is going on with Jack?" Urban was already halfway to the door, resisting the urge to follow behind his best friend. He knew Jack like the back of his hand, and knew that something was wrong.

"He just needs a minute. Everyone relax." Urban calmed the room, pulling his phone from his back pocket, scrolling until he found your number.

****

Jack slipped his key card into the door, his show a couple hours behind him. His muscled ached, his body was tense, and all he wanted to do was sleep. He didn't even realize that the lights were on as he walked through the threshold, the room not at all how he had left it earlier in the day.

He let out a deep breath at the sight of you sprawled across the bed, his body slumping in relief as he walked over to you, tears brimming in his eyes. He had felt the darkness closing in on him, and he was too tired to fight, but there you were, a single source of light, his saving grace, just in time.

"Someone said you were missing me." You barely got the words out before Jack had you wrapped up in his arms, his face nuzzled in his neck. You placed gentle kisses in his air, stroking the curls on the back of his neck.

"I missed you." His voice was muffled in your jacket, his grip on you tightening when you tried to pull away.

"I missed you too, baby. You have no idea how much."

****

Urban hadn't told you much when he called you that morning, asking you to head to the airport as soon as possible. You didn't think twice about getting here as quickly as you could, but now that you knew that Jack was physically safe, you couldn't help but wonder if something was going on in that mind of his.

"What?", you caught his gaze in the mirror as he leaned in the doorway, watching you remove your jewelry.

"Nothing." He walked past you, his hand grazing your lower back as he opened the shower door, turning on the water.

"I think we should talk, Jack. I'm worried about you, baby." You heard a groan leave his lips as he rolled his shoulders back.

Jack would always shut down when you tried to have a conversation about his mental health struggles, and while he was doing all of the right things including going to therapy, those weren't fixes as much as they were ways to support him as he moved through his hectic life.

"I don't want to talk right now." His voice was low and gruff.

He stripped off his shirt, tossing it to the floor, his eyes never leaving your body. Your silk robe layed delicately against your curves, the front hanging open, leaving very little to the imagination. You blinked, and his hands were on your waist, pulling you into his body, ghosting kisses against your lips. You grabbed his forearms, trying to steady yourself as he deepened the kiss, leaving you breathless. Your robe slipped off of your shoulders, goosebumps raising on your skin as your naked body met the cold air.

You broke away, grabbing the edge of the counter, your chest heaving with each breath. Jack rolled your hardened nipple between his fingers as he latched onto your neck, alternating between sucking and gentle kisses, your core beginning to tighten as his hand slid between your thighs. He forced your legs open further with his knee, His middle finger pressed against your clit, a quiet moan leaving your lips at the sensation.

"I'll leave it up to you. We can talk, or, we can do this." He whispered, his breath hot against your ear. You gasped as he slipped a finger inside of your pussy, hooking the digit to press against your cushiony walls. You clenched around his hand, throwing your head back, as he lifted your thigh to wrap around his waist.

"Does that feel good, baby?" He asked between gritted teeth, a grin slipping on his face as he watched you come apart in his hands. You nodded fervently, digging your nails into the back of his neck, pulling on the curls at the nape as he quickened the pace of his fingers. You had his hand soaked in your wetness, mere seconds away from your release. "I want you, now", you edged out, your eyes beginning to glaze over.

****

Jack had you pinned against the tiled walls with his large hand as he stroked the head of his cock. You had almost bitten through your bottom lip, the taste of blood on your tongue while he teased you, raking his fingernails down your back. He grabbed a palmful of your ass, lining himself up with your entrance.

"Jack, fuck, please", you cried out as he pressed himself a mere inch inside, beginning to stretch you out. As familiar you were with the feeling, it always left you breathless. He allowed you time to adjust to his size as he slowly slid all the way inside of you. You stood on your tiptoes as his pelvis met your backside, and he slowly began thrusting in and out of you. "Shit, baby. Spread your legs wider for me." You immediately complied, the new angle pressing the head of his cock against your g-spot.

The coil in your core continued to tighten, your muscles beginning to fatigue as you stood. Jack pulled you against his chest when he felt your legs start to shake, continuing to snap his hips up into you. His hand pushed into your lower stomach, further exposing your cushiony ceiling to each drive.

"I'm coming, baby." Fuck, fuck", Jack grunted out, his fingers digging into your delicate flesh. You felt his strokes begin to falter, his hips slowing as he released inside of your throbbing pussy, continuing to fuck you until you reached your peak.

"Don't stop, just like that, shit." The coil snapped as you orgasmed, pulses moving through your body, causing you to lean over. Jack held you as you caught your breath, slowly pulling out of you. Your hands found his hair, pulling his face close to you, your lips barely meeting as you allowed the warm water to run down your bodies.

****

You laid next to Jack, sound asleep, small snores leaving your lips. Jack had tried sleeping, giving up after about an hour in when his mind just wouldn't shut off. He turned over to face you, his finger tracing along the line of your nose and jawline.

"That tickles", you whispered, your eyes still closed.

"Oh, sorry." Jack quietly chuckled.

"Can't sleep?" You opened your eyes, grabbing Jack's hand. He kissed your palm, letting his lips linger against your skin. "I can't remember the last time I slept more than a few hours at a time. I don't sleep well without you next to me."

You pushed his curls out of his face, rubbing your fingers along his beard. "Baby, I need you to open up to me. I know something is wrong."

"Did Urban say something to you?"

"No. He didn't need to. I know you. I can see it in your face."

Jack sighed, laying on his back, looking up at the ceiling. You could hear the emotions building in his voice when he spoke. "I feel like I can't breathe. Like the walls are starting to close in around me." He looked over at you, a single tear running down his cheek. You wiped it away immediately, pulling yourself closer to him.

"Is it work? Is it too much?" You could hear a shaky breath leave his body. "I don't know. It's everything and its nothing. Every move I make, I doubt myself. I can't make any mistakes, I'm so afraid I'm going to fuck everything up." Jack felt his chest tighten; he squeezed your hand harder as he felt the panic start to set in.

"Why do you feel like you're going to mess everything up?" You pressed, hoping he could get some of this off of his chest. You could see the weight of the world was crushing him.

"What if what people say about me is true? I can't afford to lose anything that we've built. Too many people rely on me being on my game. I need to protect and provide for you." His eyesight was blurry from the tears welling up in his eyes.

"Oh baby, please don't do this to yourself. You are human, you are going to make mistakes. You are the most amazing man that I know, I love you more than life itself, and you aren't in this alone. Whatever we need to do, we'll do it together." He nodded, placing your hand on his chest. You could feel his heartbeat begin to slow as you tried to soothe him.

"I love you so much, Jack", you repeated as you held him, resting your head against his chest, both of you falling asleep in each other's arms.

****

"Can you just tell me where we're going?" Jack white knuckled the steering wheel as he he drove through the Rocky mountains, one hand on your thigh. You pulled your lips up to your coffee cup, taking in the scenery around you. The sky was clear, giving you a great view of the mountains.

"I don't want to spoil the surprise." You patted his hand, stroking his cheek.

Jack parked the car at the base of the mountain, and you both took the trail to the top. You heard the gravel crunch underneath your boots as you walked along the path. You had to catch your breath as you stood on the grassy landing at the peak of the mountain, adjusting to the altitude change. You were the only two around for miles, aside from a couple of goats who were grazing on the grass.

"Is this your way of telling me that you want to get a goat? I was thinking we'd have a couple of kids, but not these kids." Jack chuckled, rubbing his hands together to warm them. You rolled your eyes, walking backward away from him. "Very funny."

"C'mere." You dragged him to the middle of the field, holding his hand as you stood shoulder to shoulder.

"You told me last night that you felt like the walls are closing in on you, and that you can't breathe. I'm so sorry that you feel that way, and if I could, Jack, I would take all of that pain away from you, baby, but I can't, so I tried to think of the next best thing."

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, letting the fresh mountain air fill your lungs. Jack scrunched his eyebrows in confusion, chuckling to himself as he watched you stand perfectly still.

"I FEEL POWERLESS!" You yelled out into the open, a quiet echo returning back to you. "I FEEL POWERLESS TO HELP THE MAN I LOVE!" You turned back to Jack, a small smile on your face. "Your turn."

"Wait, baby, what?" What am I supposed to say? How is this supposed to help?" Jack pulled his cap off, running his fingers through his hair. He felt his stomach turn, feeling uneasy.

"There are no walls here, no rules, no ways you can disappoint anyone. You are free, Jack, to express how you feel, without worrying that you are going to fuck anything up. You don't have to keep it bottled up any longer, baby. Now try it." You gave him a gentle push, barely moving him.

"This is so stupid." He mumbled to himself, taking a deep breath. As he looked out into the open, he felt his mind quiet for the first time. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, puffing out his chest.

"I'M SCARED! I'M SCARED THAT I'M NOT WORTH THE THINGS I HAVE!" Jack let all of the air leave his lungs as he yelled out into the void. He turned back to you, a frown on his face. You motioned to him to keep going.

"I'M AFRAID I'M GONNA FUCK EVERYTHING UP!" He listened intently, feeling the wind hit him in the face. It was quiet, until he heard the returned echo of his words.

"How did that feel?" You squeezed his arm. "Fuckin' amazing!" He cried out, rubbing his hands down his face. "I feel like I can breathe for the first time."

"Ok, now say something good. Maybe something about how pretty I am." You winked at him, giving him a playful nudge, making Jack laugh.

"I AM MADLY, UNBELIEVABLY IN LOVE WITH Y/N HARLOW!" It was quiet until you heard a loud bleat from halfway down the mountain, a herd of goats joining in.

"Wow, tough crowd." Jack joked as you doubled over in laughter. He pointed at you, narrowing his eyes. "Oh is it my turn?" You pressed a finger into your chest, closing your eyes once again.

"I AM FOREVER IN LOVE WITH JACKMAN THOMAS HARLOW!", as soon as the words left your mouth, you felt Jack's lips crash with yours, his hands cupping your face as you return his kiss, your eyes closing in pure bliss. You finally pulled away, Jack's hands dropping to your waist as he pressed his forehead to yours. "Thank you. I don't know how I would do any of this without you. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Jack", you drew out the last syllable of his name in jest, "please, not in front of the kids." You eyed a baby goat down the path, both of you erupting in laughter.

Tag-List:

@jacks-daycare

@livsters

@katiaw2

@xangelonmyshoulderx

@thatonegirlthatlikesthings

@j0hkiya

@bell3e

@isisosidixj

@caroline334

@lightsoutstyles

@hufflewhore128

@jackscurlyhair

@jackharloww

@brixo

@beautiifulpeople312

@bernelflo

@taniapri

@ageofthebarbarians

@honeyharlows

@aga21

@iheartharlow

@neon-lights-and-glitter

@w1ldthoughts

@jackslilsecrett

@harlowcomehome

@fantasywritersstuff

@exoticr0ses

@iknowdatsrightbih

@itsyagirljaz

@hoodharlow

#jack harlow #jackman thomas harlow #jackharlow #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow concepts #jackman harlow #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow fanfic

268 notes · View notes

grrw--boy · 10 months

Text

•Sweat dreams•

Morpheus takes care of his sleepless lover♡ (morpheus x gn!reader)

Prompt: so many things got pilled up so you're unable to sleep properly for the last days, and morpheus decides it has been enough.

Tw: anxiety, trauma(?, fluff, comfort.

Its has been a hell of a month, maybe even a hell of years.

You'd haved never had a peacefull life, but lately life seems harder than ever, days feel longer and even more tiring, that not even the soft carress of my lover seems to erase the frown on my face.

Morpheus, dream, my love, he has always helped me feel normal, calm, wanted. So i cant help but feel guilty of being so distant from him lately, knowing full well he always tries to help me in any way he can.

But i cant really help it, can't i?

Work has been anything but gentle, with the amount of late doing work i have, im almost restless, not really taking breaks ethier.

Morpheus was anxious, scared even, he knew your work was tiring but this looks extreme.

Its been days since he saw you in your dreams before youd woken up a few hours later, and even in your own dreams you looked exhausted with dark eyebags and a marked scowl on your pretty face

So he had enough

Everyone has bad days so he though youll be okay in a few days, but it has been weeks, so he decided to visit you when he finally had time to. As this not only worried your fisical state but your mental state too.

He remebers years ago when youll end breaking down in his arms, telling him how you couldnt go on like this in tears.

He'd never wish to see you so sadly lonely again, it would personaly pain him too much.

So after he had remotily finished his work he was running to see you.

You where comsuded by another work fit at 3 am when you heard a knock to your aparment door, in confusion of who might be visiting, you shouted a wait to the door while stoping your work and rushing to the door*

"Who is it?" You move your hair to look more presentable trough your stress.

"Its me dear,-" at hearing his voice after so much time you open the door without second thougth, not letting him finish his phrase, seeing your certain tall, blue eyed lover.

"-morpheus." He chuckles at your eageress to see him, but quickly noticed your tired look, unsurpsingly.

"My dea-" "morpheus!, what are you doing here?, so late... is everything alright?" Your voice quickly changes to worry while you question the reason of his visit.

"No, no, dear, everything its okay i just..." he sighes before saying "missed you, we havent seen eachother in a few weeks and i have noticed you havent being coming to the dreaming a lot ethier" he finishes while coming inside as you opened the door more for him to come in.

"Yes i- i have been busy lately, im sorry love, i think i didnt realise we havent seen eachothee in that much..."

"Theres nothing to be sorry about my dear, i know you're stressed, i want to help you" he notices the amount of work in your desk "and its quite late too, you need rest, and love. come on to bed now" he holds your arm to the bedroom.

"B-but morpheus! Theres to much to fini-" "no, to bed now, tomorrow youll finish your chores, when you're well rested"

You sigh giving up, as you cant convice the dream lord of anything especially about your care, and because the offer didnt sound so bad.

Morpheus gides you into bed before turning of the lights in the office, going to laid with you and give you your well needed rest. He goes to hold you as you get more comfortable next to him, already feeling sleep taking over you while feeling dream kissing your forehead and rubbing your head as you cuddle with him.

Before you knew it you were magicly falling asleep in your lovers embrace, feeling some beat of calmness in a long time, before hearing some soft whispers of your lover, knowing youll get some enticing dreams tonight

"Sleep well my love, ill see you in a moment".

#x male reader #morpheus x male reader #morpheus x reader #morpheus sandman #the sandman #dream of the endless #dream x male reader #dream x reader #x male reader fluff #this was longer than expected #morpheus x reader comfort #sandman x male reader #gay #fem aligned dni

146 notes · View notes

hanafubukki · 4 months

Note

*Breaks down your wall*

Spooder anon here! Sorry for the radio silence I just couldnt get any new ideas for my bbg Peter smh😔😔😔😔

But now I have one ig so here it goes. Theres this documentary I watched about this woman who had insects living in her body. Well only a bit of it since im a p****y. Ever since then im scared of bugs just enteribg my body and destroying it inside out. Imagine MC just having this convo with Peter when he asked her why shes abit afraid of bugs.

Oh yeah another idea what about the draconias giving Peter a month long vacation. For his long and important service and for his troubles. Then MCs all like 'oh yeah I suggested to them to give you some compensation for everything they put you through. Anyways your welcome. Have fun!' Now Peter can go wherever he wants for a month. Of course this doesnt beat having the Draconias cutting their spending habits but this is good as well.

[Masterlist]

…at least it wasn’t my door this time 🤣🤣

Hello Spooder Anon, is this you:

(I had to do it, you gave me too easy of an opportunity not too 😂)

No need to be sorry btw, it’s all good. The way you dote on Peter is adorable.

You have way more courage than I do because I would never be able to watch that movie. 🙃🙃 The arachnoid movie already traumatized so one with bugs living inside you? No thank you.

Peter finally gets the break he deserves! Good for him! Hundreds of years dealing with the Draconia finally paid off…right?

He never knew freedom would be so freeing. It was as if he took a fresh breath of air after centuries of being locked away.

…which technically was true if he thought about it long enough.

But where to go?

Well, no matter. He’ll figure it out.

Enjoying a drink by the beach was nice, he admitted.

The sun was bright and it hurt his eyes, but nothing an umbrella didn’t fix.

The breeze certainly was relaxing.

But why did he feel bored?

Is this what humans call restlessness?

Maybe he was more tired than he thought or maybe he needed a new hobby after having none for centuries.

Reading books for enjoyment was fun, but he enjoyed learning to paint so much more.

After staring at pages for so long, he thought he would be sick of it, but the ability to create at his fingertips brought him more joy than he realized.

So, for the rest of his break. He did just that. He read books and he painted.

Life is great.

“What do you have there dear?”

“A painting! Peter painted while on his vacation.”

“…What is it?”

“He said it was a puppy at the beach.”

“This painting looks nothing like that.”

“Stop! I think it’s cute.”

Peter has a new hobby. He likes painting 💞🥳

Good for him, hopefully he didn’t come back to too much chaos. 🤣☺️

As for why painting? I don’t know. I felt like it would calm him to just sit and stare at scenery and try and recreate it. Calming a mind that is always anxious, you know?

Though I did have the funny idea of him just drawing with multiple arms too 😂, but he’s happy so that’s all that matters.

#answered #anonie ask #🌺Spooder Anon🌺#Peter the spider fae #spider fae accountant #twst knight of dawn x reader x lilia vanrouge

34 notes · View notes

actualbird · 11 months

Note

quick question: who is the big spoon in the marius luke relationship? 👀 (also just want to say it’s such a huge joy to see new posts from you I really LOVE what you have to say about tot especially mariluke and peanut!!)

waahh, im super glad u enjoy my tot stuff! im happy to be posting new things again too ;w; life is quite busy and a Lot lately but talking about these characters helps brighten my day <3

anyhoo, onto ur question!

i think marius is big spoon 70% of the time

marius strikes me as a very clingy sleeper, once hes comfortable with whoever hes sleeping with. and once luke is esconced in his embrace, there is No Escaping. marius is tall, so his limbs are Long. he will lovingly ensnare luke most of the time theyre sleeping in the same bed together

this kinda tendency for marius is a callback to how, under all the professionalism and/or the playful snark, deep down theres just this immense want for genuine affection that wants to break through.

marius' clinginess in his sleep strikes luke as a tad childish, but not in an insulting way. like....when luke wakes up and marius is hugging him so close, luke looks at him and sees marius' youth shine through in the earnestness. and having the oppurtunity and privilege to see marius like this makes luke feel honored, because it's marius letting him see a part of him that nobody else gets to see

luke usually wakes up a good half hour earlier than marius on a usual day, but when theyre sleeping in the same bed together, luke isnt in a rush to get up at all. because even if he did, the moment luke would try to pull away, marius would make a soft sleepy noise of disapproval. luke can read between the lines. dont go, marius is saying, however intentional or not.

so luke doesnt go. he stays and enjoys the warmth of marius' spooning, and also takes pleasure in feeling immensely cherished because

marius is has a lot of power a lot of money a lot of influence etc etc; he could have anything in the world. but in this moment, in his sleep, honesty shines through. the thing he wants to have and keep the most is luke

but....

i think luke also gets his turn as big spoon the rest of the 30% of the time

if marius is a clingy sleeper, i think luke is a Very Light Sleeper. side effect of the NSB days and the probable PTSD and also the having to handle random nerve pain episodes. luke is always braced for something to go wrong, even in his sleep. this is also why marius is big spoon most of the time, because it helps luke feel safe.

but there are days that even luke��who seems to be full of endless energy, alertness, and capability—gets tired. too tired for that restless hypervigilance to set in, too tired to do anything but just want to conk out immediately.

being held by marius is lovely and calming and peaceful, but there are days when luke is tired that the best way for his energy to slowly creep back up is to be the one holding marius instead.

marius doesnt mind, and hes more than happy to help luke recharge. plus, when luke is the one spooning him, because of their height difference, luke kinda just hooks his chin over marius' shoulder or nuzzles at his nape. it's adorable to marius

and marius just very much likes being the one that can both make luke feel safe and make luke feel the weight of exhaustion just a little bit less

thank you for the ask :D

#asks #anon #mariluke #when a puppy and a kitty fall in love they take turns giving the cuddles. thank u for listening to my tedtalk #marluke #tears of themis

35 notes · View notes

villain-sympathizer · 2 years

Note

Headcanons for the PLF leaders X a Reader who needs to be reminded to eat?

absolutely!! as someone who also struggles with remembering to eat, i feel this lmao

since theres a ton of 'leaders' in the PLF im going to just do the ones I know more about for this! if theres anyone you want added just let me know!

────── ･｡ﾟ: *.☽ .* : ｡ﾟ･ ──────

»»—— Reminding Their Partner To Eat ——««

[Characters: Tomura Shigaraki, Re-Destro, Skeptic]

[Contents: ⚠Mentions/implications of eating disorders⚠ (not the main topic, though), talk of medications, spoilers for the manga/upcoming S6]

────── ･｡ﾟ: *.☽ .* : ｡ﾟ･ ──────

Shigaraki:

I think he and Skeptic are also guilty of this, but not in the same way, yknow?

For Tomura, it's for so many reasons, depending on the arc. At first, it was because he was so focused on gaming and trying to form a proper league; then, it was because he and the League were without a proper base/home and none of them were able to get proper food; then, it was fighting a giant mountain-like monster of a man for months; and finally, it was the struggle with his surgery and the AFO possession.

But, even if he doesn't take care of himself as much as he should, he's not considered a leader and a grand commander for nothing!

While he doesn't remind himself to eat, he absolutely reminds his partner. No matter the reason for why they forget to eat, or don't choose to eat, he will make a reminder on his own phone to remind THEM, not even himself.

Like I said, I see him as the kind of guy to share his own rations in order to make sure the rest of the League is fed well enough, especially his significant other.

They’re part of the family now, and that means they’ll be treated with the upmost care!

Sometimes, if he KNOWS they didn’t eat yet, he’ll go as far as to take a meal to them personally. Take out, home cooked, made by a hired chef – doesn’t matter, he’s hauling that meal for two right up to them himself.

If they try and refuse, saying he didn’t have to do that for them and they could get their own food, he’ll insist. But he’ll insist in that “I’m not giving up until you shove this in your mouth” kind of way, because he knows they’ll just end up forgetting again.

Lots of reminder texts that are just “eat”, or the occasional “consume”.

Unfortunately, he’s unable to check in with them much after the PLF arc, and almost never at all when AFO takes over his body.

Though, he’ll always have those off-hand thoughts of ‘I hope they ate today’ or ‘I wonder if the League is making sure they’re okay’. It confuses the fuck out of AFO but he can’t get them to stop.

Calls them his 'tomagatchi' with how often it feels like he's checking in on them, but if they don't like it, he'll stop.

Re-Destro:

Now this man, he's the PERFECT perfect partner for this out off all the PLF folks, honestly.

He's such an observant, caring person towards everyone he's close to, and that goes double for his partner.

Absolute dad material with how much he wants to make sure everyone is taken care of, both physically and mentally, so he checks in with all his loved ones and asks if everything's okay.

With his lover, and any family member honestly, he didn't even need to be told that they need reminders. Every time he sees them it's the typical check-in: "Hello, dearest. Have you eaten recently? Drank any water? You seem a little tired, have you been sleeping well?"

Like seriously, everyone calls him overbearing, but little do they realize it's actually helpful. Oh, maybe they should eat something... and they were a bit restless last night...

If his partner has appetite issues because of medication, then he's sure to feed them before they take their medication, or at least before it kicks in.

And if it's because they refuse to eat for mental health reasons? Well, then they can expect all the loving words Rikiya has in his arsenal. No insecurity will be spared from his reassurances.

He won't force them to eat in that case, but he will gently urge them to take a set amount of bites. Baby steps, as he'd say.

Skeptic:

Just like Shigaraki, he's also someone who needs to be reminded himself to do even the basic human functions. Like sleeping.

Now, he's an incredibly focused man, and his partner will rarely ever see him during the work week unless they or Tomo himself seek each other out.

But since having a partner, he's gotten better at taking care of the both of them. It's kinda like how someone with depression will adopt a pet so that they have a reason to care for someone else, y'know?

Makes sure to contact them during his lunch breaks, which he actually takes now, and either checks in to see if they've eaten - or even going out of his way to join them for lunch.

If his partner works for him/along side him, then you bet your ass he's marching over to their area and announcing that the two of them are going on break.

If they tell him, or if he realizes that they need reminders, then expect some kind of reminder in every source of media that you have. Texts, emails, DMs of every social media - hell, they could open up an account they haven't touched in years and find hundreds of messages reminding them to eat and drink water.

But, it's also going to be a two-way street when it comes to our boy Tomo: his partner is going to have to remind him to eat or sleep as well.

It's a strange back and forth of hypocritical advice, yet it somehow works for the both of them.

#bnha x reader #skeptic x reader #shigaraki x reader #tomura shigaraki x reader #redestro x reader #rikiya yotsubashi x reader #tomoyasu chikasoku x reader #skeptic #tomura shigaraki #redestro

117 notes · View notes

traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 11 months

Note

hi, i wanted to get any kind of input or opinion because i think theres something really wrong with me. ive always been obsessed with labels and terms to identify myself, always switching them around and finding a new one regularly to base myself off of. right now at least i have no actual sense of identity and its very possible i could just be reaching because i tend to do that a lot but i dont remember a time where i genuinely had a hold on who i was, aside from when i had a really unhealthy obsession with one singular person for about 2 years. my entire life and mental state revolved around them during that time and to be honest, even though we arent on speaking terms anymore, still seeing them on socials messes me up pretty often.

anyway, the main issue is that i dont really know who i am or who i even want to be. i cant even really keep a name/nickname to go buy for longer than a few months only because i know it inconveniences the people around me (however few there are now). and thats another thing! im really iffy about making connections with people now because a lot about it makes me uncomfortable, like the responsibility and having to deal with another person all the time. i know that sounds really shitty, but i feel like i spent all my love ill ever have on that one person for two years and now that its gone, its never coming back. im still very lonely now but the thought of trying to fix that is really uncomfortable to me. its not that im incapable of making friends, its that after a while ill kind of get tired of them? something about consistency makes me restless and i know its shitty because im a really up and down kind of friend, like recently ive only been talking to people when i feel like it, which is one big reason i dont want to make friends and put people through that.

back to the labels and identity thing. its always kind of been there, but recently the urge to cling to some sort of label or answer for my behavior and thoughts and feelings has been so strong that i almost wish i was genuinely delusional or something. or just that something was seriously wrong with me, just so that i have something new and big to cling to. i know thats bad and unhealthy but i dont know how else to function. ive been thinking recently that i have a lot of narcissistic traits, or at least self centered tendencies. i always operate like im the main character. i always do things with the thought in mind that there will be no negative outcomes for me, and if there so happens to be one, then ill somehow weasel my way out of it. i think that everything will always go well for me, which is weird because it very much has not in the past. a lot of bad things have happened to me, but in a weird fucked up kind of way im glad they did. because now i have some sort of trauma to cling to and roll into my identity. but the flaw in that is that i need a new one every so often. i cycle through different traumas and disorders and sexualities and genders and names and everything that i really, genuinely dont know who i am. and thats why i think somethings wrong with me. because what normal person thinks and operates like this? i dont know if i fully described the reality of my situation, or if im just saying that because i want it to seem worse, but thats about it. sorry for the long ask. i hope you can get around to answering

Hi anon,

I think to some degree its okay to like labels, as they can provide us a sense of structure and being able to name things can give a lot of people comfort. It's also okay to change your identity, as identities are fluid and naturally change over time. You're allowed to change your identity as many times as you want because it's literally yours to dictate, you know?

However, there are many different possibilities as to why you may be experiencing this frequent shift in identity. While I can help explain what these possibilites might be, it is crucial to consult with a mental health professional for an accurate assessment and diagnosis.

One of the possibilities is that you could have some narcissistic tendencies, as from my understanding of NPD, it's about basically trying to regain control of feeling worthless or helpless by constructing a reality of grandiosity that can be incredibly fragile (please correct me if I'm wrong).

Also in the realm of personality disorders, the idea of having "identity disturbance" and "unhealthy obsessions" with someone is characteristic of BPD. Identity disturbance, also sometimes called identity diffusion, is described as an "incoherence, or inconsistency in a person's sense of identity. This could mean that a person's goals, beliefs, and actions are constantly changing. It could also be that the person takes on personality traits of people around them, as they struggle to have and maintain their own identity." Of course, you can experience identity disturbance without BPD, but it's still a common experience among pwBPD.

Another possibility is tired to when you said "i cycle through different traumas and disorders and sexualities and genders and names and everything that i really, genuinely don't know who i am" as it reminded me of how a system might experience their identity, especially if they don't realize they're a system. This is not me saying you're definitely a system, but the possibility of plurality could be something to explore further as well.

Ultimately, this could be something to explore further with the guidance and mediation of a mental health professional such as a therapist, who can work with you to identify more concretely why you may be experiencing these things. They can also help you navigate these feelings and provide guidance tailored to your specific needs.

It's important to practice self-care and be gentle with yourself as you navigate your identity. Please know that it's okay to take your time and embrace the journey of self-discovery. If anyone has any additional insights or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks

8 notes · View notes

lostsoulau-ask · 1 year

Text

J'ai publié 47 fois en 2022

C'est 43 billets de plus qu'en 2021 !

23 billets créés (49%)

24 billets reblogués (51%)

Les blogs que j'ai le plus reblogués :

@opal-owl-flight

@morpho-the-knight

@detonatethegemapples

@driftwoodmfb

@shard-knight

J'ai étiqueté 42 billets en 2022

Seulement 11% de mes billets ne comportaient pas de tag

#lostsoulau - 21 billets

#buddymag - 15 billets

#magolor soul - 14 billets

#shardknight - 13 billets

#magolor - 11 billets

#kirby oc - 8 billets

#kirby au - 5 billets

#kirby - 4 billets

#sky children of the light - 4 billets

#kirby return to dreamland - 3 billets

Longest Tag: 88 characters

#...now i wonders if his big butter swords normaly are literal butter knife in fairy form

Mes billets vedette en 2022 :

n°5

An OC from the Kirby AU that im trying to write (The LostSoulAU the timeline split at the end of KRtD but Shard’s story with who he call “Buddy” is after a lot of time) Their name’s Shard-Knight (you can call him/them Shard or Shardy he aint picky a bout titles) Shard got engaged as an escort to a groupe that wishes to learn about the stories of the now vacant for hundreds of years PopStars. (one of the reason was because of a powerful creature that has been roaming the planet after the last ruler, who easely conquered the planet, disapeard.) After a dispute with the chief of the group (who didn’t want to go near the castle), Shard got ditched on the planet, close to the old castle. And after entering the old ruins, the knight heard whimperings comming from one of the rooms; and upon opening the door, he found a very weak and sick someone, he was also injured on one of his hands. So Shard has decided to at least help the poor guy to recover, tho he swears that ivoiry headwear thingy wraped around the guy is also alive and that red jeweled eye on it is watching him.

11 notes - publié le 20 avril 2022

n°4

My contriution to @cosmicocoffee Star-Warrior Collab Its Shard and Buddy from my LostSoulAU Buddy is usually very stressed when theres a lot of peoples but Shard is usualy with him to help.

14 notes - publié le 18 juin 2022

n°3

This is Buddy (or at least the nickname that Shard (an OC of mine) gave him while helping him)

-He can’t see well when hes tired (despite the white eyes he can see mostly)

-He can talk but hes very clumsy socialy

-He got some memorie problems due to some atempt at possesion from the crown the “trips” to the Forgo Dimencion, and the years being alone with probably the restless spirits of the old heroes

-He remember his name (obviously Magolor) and what he probably looked like before he got like this from paintings in the ruined castle he “still” live in (and no. he dosen’t event know what he looked like before he got the crown. -After a nasty fight against some thieves, he was in so bad shape that he couldn’t do much so he set in the big pile of blankets and matress he call bed and whaited for the butterfly of judgment to come, thats when Shard found him -With the years, him and Shard became really close friends, even if sometime it looks like theyre closer they are both just realy bad with social so its hugs and pats. -He still feel really guilty for what he did in the past, and that haunts him, he got sometime nightmares, they became rare since but, he still woke up in tears with Shard tring to confort him, thats a reason why they rest next to eatch other.. -He still has the scar from the fight with the thieves so he sometime use a bandages when hes training with his magic, in case it might reopen. -He dosen’t control easely “his” powers (when he was ruling he didn’t realy care if it drain his forces a lot) but he tries to mesure the power of the “spells” he knows. -He act sometimes like a cat but he dosen’t know why he act like that. ( the popular headcanon that Mag is a cat, Magolor Soul ediion) he thought Shard was jocking when the Knight told him that he was purring when he got sleepy while Shard was next to him (the triger ?: Shard petting him on the head).and hes still confused about how and why that happens -Exept with Shard where hes calm (but sometime mischievious), hes ...odly shy, he forgot many social skills with the years alone but hes nice. -Hes really big, or at least much bigger than Shard, sometimes he dosent register his size and force. -He didn’t remember what a magic wand was called so he dubed them “Sparkles Sticks” (Its the Mag from my LostSoulAU)

17 notes - publié le 31 mai 2022

n°2

Since some do loafin’ character I PRESENT YOU THE BIG LOAF Buddy!Mag can’t usualy just loaf and sleep everywhere not only since hes big himself, also his, and by extention also Crownys, horns takes most of his body he did a big “nest” of a lot of blankets in the castle to rest. When they were both alone (a few month/years before Shards arrival), one would lisen dor signs of danger while the other sleep (usualy Crowny does that since she can feeds of Buddy!Mag energie and she can wake him up with an headache, much to his annoyance) When Shard arrived here and took care of him for some months, they couldn’t do much but sleep the first 2 or 3 weeks. At first Buddy just had questions on why Shard was leting him live let alone taking care of him (hes still guilty of everything he still remember). And after regaining some strength he managed to write his conserns on that and Shard just smiled and huged him. Buddy froze then he broke down cryng, its been so long that someone genuinly cared for him, despite everything he did, did he get a second chance? even that he will be there for the one that gave him this chance. And even after the past resurfaces, he’ll still be there for his Knight-friend.

25 notes - publié le 25 août 2022

Mon billet n°1 en 2022

Happy 2nd anniversay to your blog ! @morpho-the-knight!

36 notes - publié le 22 novembre 2022

Obtenez votre année 2022 en revue sur Tumblr →

#tumblr2022 #année en revue #mon année tumblr 2022 en revue #votre année tumblr en revue #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

2 notes · View notes

lepidopterium · 4 years

Text

Oh hm. People are real

#not just noises and figures but real like me when i feel real #shifting between seeing the world as flat. just shapes and lights and smells and loudness to seeing it as it is #a place with people and plants and animals. with sunlight and moonlight and streetlights and nightlights. with rain drops and puddles and #wind and fog and smog and smoke. with smells of food cooking and sounds of people laughing and crying and joking and sighing and worrying #and then theres me who feels tired who feels restless who wants to do this and this and this and has the means but learned helplessness is #hard to beat. and theres the thing that no one can see beyond how it makes me feel and act. how do i know when I'm winning when it #constantly feels like my agency is being taken away by these memories and ghosts both conscious and skin deep?#i guess i start with the little things that will make it a little easier for me. putting my phone down when i get into bed. getting myself #to eat something even when i dont have an appetite. getting up and moving when I feel restless. letting myself start over when i need to #i wish my mom would go to sleep. i wanna sit outside for a bit

2 notes · View notes

symphonicmetal101 · 3 years

Text

Over-Tired OM Boys HCs

Here's the initial thing that got me started thinkin bout the boys, but here ya go-

Lucifer

- this man, once he hits overtired, is extremely gullible, which is why he locks himself in his office until hes done what needs to be done

- also cannot keep a train of thought for more than 20 seconds and it drives him nuts

- and then he loses his focus even more because he's upset

- you tried knocking on the door once, and told him when you closed your eyes, you couldnt see and needed to go to the doctor

- man went from frustrated to concerned in a heartbeat, only after opening the door realizing how foolish he had just come across

- but now the door was open and you had access to him, and reluctantly he let you drag him to bed

- Will deny it ever happened, and if you bring it up, expect a punishment.

- Though he is grateful you made him rest so he would not become the laughingstock of his brothers

Mammon

- over tired bby will ramble until he forgot what he was talking about and space out for a solid ten seconds before snapping back

- it doesnt matter if you're listening intently or only half listening, he makes no sense what so ever.

- If you can record him without him noticing you (which is easy to do in this state) and play it back once he's rested he's either facepalming and blushy for the nonsense he spewed or he managed to pick out what he may have been trying to say and gets super excited, going off on another more understandable tangent.

- Gaming is a priority

Levi

- Sleeping is not

- Levi usually ends up just tired, not wired but dear lord when he does-

- All that energy and passion he pours into the way he speaks about anime and manga?

- Its physical now...oh and hes slightly more extroverted

- Though its a rare sight, over tired Levi works out and rambles about whatever it was that made him stay up that long, and hes doing it all in your room

Satan

- Over tired Satan is a rare sight, though it happens often, as he holes up in his room

- He gets an impulse to clean, and will tidy and clean and organize his books, though it never lasts

- and theres no escape, he will start crying if he feels you arent paying attention or if you're about to leave

- Depending on who you are, he either becomes 10000000% testier, or hes a giggly mess, there is no in between

Asmo

- Finds everything funny, but will get pouty if it came from someone he doesnt really like

- Over tired Asmo is rare, likely the rarest of all the boys to see, save for Barbatos

- but he is a chaotic little fucker

- dear god

- He will raid the fridge and pantry worse than Beel, specifically when hes on a diet-

- Then MC you're either in for one hell of a story from Asmo, most of them his not-so-proud drunk moments that he never talks about for that reason but he cant stop himself-

-his laugh sounds even more high pitched than normal, and a little maniacal, and he finds everything he says hilarious

- you will go on an adventure probably

Beel

- spaces out randomly, and also cries easily, dont point this put to him and say yes to his adventures, he'll change his mind a thousand times on the way- just go with it

- overtired Beel happens quite a bit, usually after the victory of a game and the adrenaline starts to wear off- and then he still has stuff to do

- but instead of "oh" and maybe a small laugh when he realizes what happened its more ".....oh" and then he looks like he's having an existential crisis

- you will have to physically lead him to bed after that, he's too busy thinking and slowly eating whatever is in his hand

- he snacks to keep himself awake, and poor himbo man is even more gullible than usual

- will want to cuddle, but wont ask when hes like this

Belphie

- out like a bulb immediately

- The Avatar of Sloth? Over tired? yes it happens unfortunately-

- He gets even grumpier than usual because he can’t sleep

- Then at night its just restless tossing and turning

- yes even the seemingly flawless butler gets overtired, but opposite of Asmo, he is far better at concealing it

- Usually happens when he intentionally sleeps through important meetings and days for Lucifer back to back to back

- It’s another excuse to hold you though, so he might make himself over tired more often

Barbatos

- You will see him stifle yawns

- And when given instructions, his eyes widen slightly with concentration as he whispers the instructions over and over under his breath so nobody can hear, but its clear his lips are moving

- he cannot be bribed

- he can be intimidated though, and how you ask?

- “threaten” to go tell Beel or Dia because you know full well if they were asked, they would carry Barb back to his quarters if you can’t do so on your own-

- no he will not sleep

- Usually that’s enough to convince him, but you have to stay near to make sure he doesn’t leave until he’s well-rested, otherwise he’ll leave as soon as possible and try to get back to work

- buuuut if you’re “on guard” or in bed with him- well he might have a few extra minutes or hours to spend with you

Diavolo

- overtired Diavolo is rather rare, as Barbatos is very strict with the prince's schedule

- Still though if Diavolo truly wants to keep going...all Barb can do is prepare for the future

- Which uh...just means being able to drag the prince to his quarters

- If you thought he was lively before, being overtired is kinda like giving caffiene to a squirrel for him

- Until he suddenly crashes....which, depending on how you like his company, can be unfortunate as his kick can last for hours

Simeon

- Simeon goes into zombie mode when he's overtired

- He hates to admit it, but it tales every oumce of strength to not fall asleep in the middle of classes

- Not that Luke would let him

- He's a little dazy, a little slow, but even just a power nap gets the angel going again

Luke

- Babie boy, don't stay up with the big kids-

- an overtired ten year old follows a certain progression

- grumpy, denial in need of sleep, chatterbox, chatterbox, chatterbox, chatt- oh he fell asleep in the middle of his sentence

- will not acknowledge anything in the morning, even as he walks out of his bedroom instead of the random place he slept, instead carrying on the conversation he left half finished the night before

Solomon

- hah

- he has spells

- who needs sleep?

- bastard also pushes himself too far, but disguises it with more ease than anyone else, at least until its just the two of you

- He tends to run his hand through his hair more often, fidgets more

- hes a little jumpy too, so continue with caution if you dont want to be turned into a frog-

Anyways, I know its been a hot minute since I posted anything really uh...substantial? I guess this will have to do?? I'm going to be travelling for a bit, so I apologize for slow updates, also dont have the patience to make a queue

Thank y'all for supporting me anyways, it means a lot!! Keep an eye out for the next OC Hunger Games~

Love ya!!

Masterlist

#obey me #obey me shall we date #v talks #obey me! shall we date?#obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me belphie #obey me barbatos #obey me diavolo #obey me simeon #obey me solomon #obey me luke #obey me scenarios #obey me thoughts

290 notes · View notes

iwritefanficsnottragedies · 3 years

Text

Fred Weasley

Request: None

Prompt: "My mum asked about you again"

***

Forgotten in a corner of the library, their books and parchments scattered all over the table, 4 students were restlessly doing their homework.

"Can't this be done already?" one of them broke the silence, so sudden it startled the others. "Bloody hell, it's been over 3 hours!"

"We're almost done, Ron, no need to get so loud," Hermione scoffed, "besides, you barely did anything."

"I assume Hermione and I could finish it in the morning. It's getting quite late and Madam Pince isn't looking quite fondly at us," (Y/N) sighed, feeling her eyelids heavy.

A yawn from Ron made Hermione groan. "I doubt we'd get much done tonight anyway, let's just go then."

Not long after, the 4 of them found themselves on the nearly empty halls of Hogwarts, on their way to the Gryffindor common room. They walked in silence, the tiredness from a full day finally getting the best of all of them. That is, until Ron broke the silence once more.

"(Y/N)," he said, making the (H/C) girl turn her head, "are you sure you don't want to come over for Christmas?"

"No, Ron, it's alright. I don't wanna be a bother," (Y/N) smiled kindly at the ginger.

"Nonsense! You know mum loves to have you over and i wouldn't have asked if I didn't want you there."

"Plus me and Ginny could use some more girl company around, we need all the help to stop these two from getting in trouble," Hermione added. She playfully pushed (Y/N)'s shoulder, making them both chuckle for a bit, time in which Harry finally broke his silence.

"And I'm sure theres someone else who'd love to have you there," he muttered in a whisper soft enough that only Ron heard him over the laughter of the girls. He elbowed Harry, shooting him a warning glance. The brunet shrugged, but kept silent all the same.

"See?" the youngest Weasley boy started, "you have to come. My mum's gonna kill us if we destroy something again. And i do mean anything."

"I'll... I'll think about it," (Y/N) offered shyly. As much as she wanted to go, she felt like she would intrude. But there was something really pushing her to go. Or rather someone...

After a while, the girls were settled in their beds, ready to sleep, or at least (Y/N) was. Hermione seemed to be in the mood for a bit of an interrogation.

"So what's the real reason you don't wanna come?" the young witch asked.

(Y/N) laid quiet for a moment, unsure of the answer herself. She reflected silently. Her parents were more than willing to let her spend Christmas at the Burrow, her closest friends would be there. So why was she refusing really? She didn't have a reason other than the feeling that a certain brother of Ron's, Fred, to be more specific, didn't want her around.

It all started during her visit the previous summer. The holiday was coming to an end and Harry had just arrived at The Burrow. The younger Weasleys, Hermione and (Y/N) spent most of their time together till that point, but when Harry arrived, his 3 best friends spent the rest of the evening with him. Catching up, making jokes and whatnot. Night fell quickly and while the other 3 weren't as tired, (Y/N) managed to fall asleep, right on Harry. They didn't have the heart to bother her until Fred woke up, coming downstairs.

"I should take her upstairs" the twin said, making the others turn to him.

"No, it's ok. I don't mind it," Harry smiled, his arm resting around (Y/N).

"Nonsense," Fred scowled, not leaving Harry any room for protest, before scooping (Y/N)'s sleeping figure off the bed and carrying her to Ginny's room.

The next day, (Y/N) woke up surprised to find herself in bed and even more surprised to find out Fred was the one who brought her there. She went to thank him, finding him eating breakfast, but he barely acknowledged her.

"No worries," he nodded, not even glancing up from his plate.

And from then on, what was quite a beautiful friendship turned into distance between the 2. (Y/N) never understood, Fred never gave her time to ask.

The (H/C) girl was brought back from memory lane by Hermione's words.

"Will you answer before I die of old age please?"

"I don't know what to tell you, Hermione. I don't have an actual reason."

But Hermione knew better than that. It was with good reason she was comsidered the brightest witch of her age.

"I'm sure Fred wouldn't mind if you'd come. And even if he does, the rest of us want you to come. So please, change your mind. Please? For me at least?" The brown haired girl begged.

(Y/N) smiled. She knew her best friend would put her thoughts into words better than herself. But she still felt bad. After all, she didn't even know what she did.

"I don't know, Hermione, I don't wanna make empty promises."

The room fell into silence soon after, both girls too tired to go on.

The next day came and went faster than expected, and soon dinner was served. With Hermione's words from the previous mind still on her mind, (Y/N) realised she haven't seen Fred the entire day. She scanned The Great Hall for him, but there was still no sign of the redhead.

"Where could he be?" she wondered, seeing his twin a few chairs away, seemingly not missing his brother.

Her question got answered shortly afterwards though, when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"May I speak with you?" Fred asked.

(Y/N) nodded and hurried to follow Fred, who was already halfway out the door. She followed him to their common room, not making a sound.

Fred sat down on a couch, motioning for (Y/N) to sit next to him.

"My mum asked about you again," he said. "She wants to know why you arent coming over for Christmas."

"Oh, it's just... you already have guests and there would be so many people, i don't wanna be a b-"

"I talked to Hermione," he intervened,"She told me why you don't want to come."

(Y/N) blushed, that meant he knew he's the sole reason. And the sad tone in his voice only made the girl feel worse.

"I don't wanna be there if it troubles you in any way."

"It doesn't, (Y/N), and I'm sorry if that's the impression I gave you." For the first time in months, Fred turned his head to look (Y/N) in her eyes. "I promise you, that's not it, I'd love it if you'd come."

"Looks like quite the opposite to me," (Y/N) frowned.

Fred let out a puff of air as he looked down at his hands. He knew well how he's been acting with (Y/N) these past few months. Though he wouldn't admit it, he was ready to flee even then from the room, go away, as far away as possible from the younger girl. Poor (Y/N) had no idea how hard it has been for Fred. Keeping himself away from someone he actually cares about was just as hurtful for him as it was for her. But he couldn't let himself fall into unrequited feelings. He remembered when things started to change.

It was the end of July and they were all home at the Burrow, when someone knocked on their door. He opened it to reveal a sun-kissed (Y/N), with a big smile on her face, a smile that gave him butterflies. Her eyes shinning bright, her rosy cheeks, everything about her, it changed everything for him. The child- his little brother's best friend- had disappeared and instead there stood (Y/N) in a whole new light, transformed into a guilty dream, an innocent desire for romance, all with one look. She hugged him and for a moment he wasn't at the Burrow anymore. He was in his own mind-made world, just for the two of them. The moment lingered for a just a bit, not nearly enough, and he was abruptly brought to reality by Ginny's excited screams, by the loss of (Y/N)'s arms around him as she hurried to Ginny.

Fred wanted more moments like these. He spent his summer longing for them, doing everything in his power to get them. Day by day, he grew more fond of (Y/N), day by day he observed her, gazed at her like she was a piece of art, never to be touched.

One evening, after the house had quieted down, Fred and his mum cleaned up after dinner in amiable silence for a while until she broke the silence. "Young love," she said, looking up at him, "it is the sweetest of all."

"Hmm?" Fred turned to face his mother.

"I know my children, Fred, and I watch over them. A mother's eyes see things others can't."

Fred continued to look at Molly, unsure of what she was talking about.

"Go talk to her, Fred, you can't just watch her like she's gonna fall into your arms." His mother laughed, but her son was far from laughter.

He froze as realisation dawned upon him. That was it. Infatuation. He had fallen for (Y/N) and he'd fallen hard. And oh, how his dreams shattered now, as it all turned to reality. His little dream was now this cruel world and he couldn't bring it here.

His thoughts wandered for some time before he heard Molly's voice, loud enough to bring the whole house downstairs.

"Harry, dear!"

It was a few hours later and Fred couldn't sleep. (Y/N) wouldn't leave his mind, but not in the same fairytale way it did before. Concerns about what he could do, what she would do if she knew- all of these imagined scenes kept him restless and wide awake.

Maybe a glass of water would help, he thought and so he made his way downstairs. And what he saw made his stomach hurt just enough to be a bother. He knew Harry and (Y/N) better than to think anything of it, but someone touching her, being so close to her, someone who isn't him, pained him.

"Bloody jealousy."

"Jealousy? Who are you jealous of?" (Y/N) asked in confusion, bringing Fred out of his thoughts. Fred swallowed dryly, realising he'd said that out loud. He didn't know if now was the right time to share his feelings or not.

Luckily for him, a commotion could be heard very close by and soon the door to the common room swung open.

"Fred!" He heard his twin brother yelling his name, giving him a chance to swallow his feelings just a little longer.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N), i gotta go. But please reconsider coming over for Christmas. I'd love it if you would join us."

And with that he exited the room, leaving (Y/N) as confused as ever and he, conflicted and at odds with himself. But it could wait. He had waited until then, what's a few more days, weeks, months. Perhaps it would pass...

________________________________________

Hope you enjoyed! Let me know if you'd like a part 2.

Requests are open, just send me what character you want and a prompt as long or short as you'd like!

1K notes · View notes

shanitani · 3 years

Text

CHAPTER TWO: WORRY LESS

table of contents

“A new girl? that’s so cool!” Mina squealed in her seat listening to Aizawa ramble on the basics of you. “That would quite nice.” Momo hummed thinking off in the classroom. “Mr. Aizawa, sir. Would you happen to know her quirk?” Iida raised his hand earning a sigh from Aizawa from the constant questions and curiorosity.

“I don’t know her quirk, I don’t know what she looks like. Everyone’s guesses are as good as mines, you’re better off asking Bakugou about it tomorrow.” The class raised their eyebrows at the boy, thinking you were his relative. “Don’t ask me shit about that girl, figure it out yourself.” Bakugou grunted looking down at his paper.

“Is she your relative?” Kirishima whispered to the boy making his jaw lock, and then slowly release. “No. She’s living with us for a year.” he sighed rolling his eyes wanting the questions to come to an end, but to be honest he’s been wondering the same thing as the class.

⁂

“Thank you for taking American Flights, please fly with us soon!” the loudspeaker went off, making you groan at the sudden awakening and the plane slowly rumbling beneath your feet. The airplane smelled like sweat and people; both not enjoyable in the slightest. Your phone was charged and pounding with messages from school friends, Imani, and your parents, luckily putting in an outlet to your phone before you lifted.

“They do not play around” you laughed at her families constant worrying; but it warmed your heart to know they all cared about you. You texted them all a quick message for their own relief and then looked at the steps UA gave you,

Your belongings are being flew out to the Bakugous, don’t worry about trying to find them, We have a designated driver coming to pick you up. She’s a bit ambiguous and knows what you look like so no need to try and find her, she’ll find you rather quickly.

You raised your eyebrow at the message, “She knows what I look like?” you questioned turning your eyes to try and find the ambiguous woman. Suddenly a hand fell onto your shoulder, making you jump in surprise. “Easy! I’m your designated drive babe! c’mon.” she motioned you to her car, and you happily obliged, hopping into the black low rise car seeing the beautiful exterior inside.

“See, this is me. Don’t be scared.” she hummed showing you her UA badge, making you feel more comfortable and slump in her seat slightly, “Thank you for picking me up, um?” “Midnight.” She answered for you, steering onto the freeway. The highways looked slightly the same - only you couldn’t read most billboard signs and the buildings looked more luminated in lights.

“Midnight. So will I be going straight to the school or will I meet my host family first?” “You’ll be meeting your host family first, I’m sure you’re pretty jetlagged and should sleep off today and tomorrow to get used to the time change, on Monday you’ll be assigned with a dorm room. I’m sure Bakugo can show you around.” you cocked your head slightly trying to figure out who she was talking about, you waited for an answer but it never came.

“Is he in my host family?” Midnight nodded - eyes still on the road. “Sorry I know i’m asking a lot of questions, but do you know anything about him?” You could see the woman smirk slightly through the rear view, “Well..” As she was about to finish her sentence, she stopped the car in front of the home you were to stay at for one year.

“This is it!” she ignored your question, mentally groaning at the fact you could tell he would be a pain in the ass. hopefully the rest of the family is nice. you grabbed your bag heading towards the door. A blonde woman opened, smiling down at your figure and opening the door wider for you to come in.

“Hi dear! I’m so glad you got here safely, thank you, Kayama.” you turned around to see the woman heading off in her car - desperate to know what she was going to say about the boy. “I’ll see you at UA kid, see you!” she started her car waving off before she completely disappeared. “Let me show you to your room! I’m so excited for you to come live with us.” you smiled at her genuine demeanor following her up the steps.

You didn’t expect your room to look so, nice? the purple walls cluttered with string lights; a white comforter with small grey blankets and purple rugs to accent the carpet - if you hadn’t knew any better you would’ve thought Mitsuki had a daughter. She caught on to your drift speaking up, “I’m a fashion designer, so I went a little overboard, and i’ve always wanted a daughter.” she nervously laughed, “I love it, Mrs. Bakugou. Thank you!” you went to shake her hand as she shook her head smiling, “call me Mitsuki, sweetheart. You’re family now! I left some clothes on the bed, i’m sure you want to take a shower. It’s right up there.” she pointed towards the door beside another one that wrote “Keep out.”.

“Katsuki should be here in a hour or so, So I recommend taking a shower now so you won’t have to hear his antics.” she rolled her eyes walking off to the kitchen. “I’ll be preparing dinner if you need anything at all, dear.” you nodded placing your belongings down and seeing the rest of the ones you packed already in your room.

you: Bitch guess what

mani: what.. did something happen alr?

you: NO. THIS ROOM IS SO CUTE.

mani: I’m blocking you yk I wanted to know about the boy.

you: It’s always abt the boy mf what about me

mani: you cute too boo!

you: girl fuck you💀

you rolled your eyes smiling down at your phone, yet her heart swelled deeply missing your bestfriend. It felt like forever since you’ve both been together even though it had been a day at most.

trying to take your mind off things, you took your bathroom belongings, shower cap, and lotion heading towards the door. Looking down at the pajama’s Mitsuki gave you, laid a grey tank top and loose pajama pants. you opened the door, locking it and hopping into the steam to let your worries melt away and go into the drain along with the water.

⁂

“mom? I’m home.” Bakugo grunted shifting his shoes off and walking into the living room, bunch hunched and eyes showing clear signs of tired and restless..

“Hey Katsuki, [Y/N] is upstairs in your bathroom taking a shower. Be nice.” She could feel the boys glare on her back as she endlessly chopped vegetables and stirred a pot before he mumbled endless nonsense walking up the stairs. Biting his tongue, he knew if he said anything he would’ve been slapped upside the head - and he was way too tired to deal with her.

He reached his door, ready to close it and lock it for the rest of the night. Until he heard you humming the low toned sound and smelled combinations of unfamiliar scents inching out of the locked bathroom door. Your humming sounded like a tranquil tune, it was low yet loud enough to hear from his door if he listened closely.

The water slowly turned off yet your humming continued to the sound, yet he was too drunk of the thought of your voice to even realize it - the shower was like a muffled background noise that was barely audible at that point. It wasn’t until his phone chimed that he was pulled back from his thoughts.

Kirishima: Hey dude, figure out what the girl looked like yet?

Bakugo groaned, fully ready to tell his friend off about him not caring what you looked like and that on Monday you’ll all see the famous [Y/N], starting to type he heard the door unlock on the bathroom door.

I’m sorry it was getting too long so I had to stop- but I promise going forth theres gonna be a lot of interactions and way less... stereotypical LMFAO</3

taglist(send me an ask to be tagged!)

@bnhathotty @quincywrites @fandomsgotmefucked @lokis-teseract , @racistareversa , @ladybakugouu , @oookore , @bleach-your-panties , @melanin-baddie

154 notes · View notes

ecoamerica · 21 days

Text

youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

5K notes · View notes

furiosity-wills-the-cat · 3 years

Text

Chara, the fourth Blook cousin:

A crack theory that accidentally become way more serious than it should have because it somehow, despite my best efforts, ended up making sense

Brought to you by my idiot conspiracy brain (affectionate) and by encouragement from my Tumblr followers

Under the cut for the sake of your dashes and sanity

Ok here we go my very elaborate accidental theory, because in order to answer the complex questions simply you must first make simple things more complex or something

First, you need to know that Chara became a Blook cousin by adoption.

All of the Blooks are adopted.

Ghosts are not born into families, they make their own.

Got it? Great, because we’re about to start running

so first, im gonna make surprisingly uncommon claim in this fandom, and I am going to say that undertale ghosts are all dead

I’m taking the tiny details we know about ghosts and sprinting with them to new places

Ghosts also do not have souls I decided

Undertale souls do not work the same as souls in traditional mythology

So every ghost is soulless Unless and Until they become corporeal

Evidence: Monster souls cant exist without bodies, and ghosts are monsters, therefore ghosts cannot have souls without bodies

Further evidence: Asriel doesnt steal blooky’s soul, blooky is unkillable, we have no concrete evidence that blooky has a soul

What about mettaton? He only has a soul after he has completely committed to being corporeal and to a specific body.

Also maddy and mettaton are both only killable while corporeal

Im also connecting the dots we have about souls in a new creative way so let me live for a second

Additionally, i am going to claim that there are a lot more ghosts than just the blooks, some evidence given below

Theres like actual scientific knowlege of ghosts in the undertale verse which seems unlikely if theres literally only three or four

The underground is so much bigger than you think, theres that giant forest in snowdin, a large town in the ruins, the huge city of new home, who knows how much space in the large open areas of waterfall etc. Its really really big okay

Also based off evidence of blooky, we can conclude that ghosts can turn invisible whenever they want to and/or haunt objects to hide

So I personally think that ghosts are, generally speaking, extremely reclusive

And the blooks are just a special exception, a beautiful family, amazing for them

So anyway im going with typical ghost lore for now, for the sake of ease, so im gonna say ghosts generally come from monsters who are particularly restless or unsatisfied when they die

HOWEVER i dont think they remember being monsters or anything before being a ghost. They just kinda fizzle into existance with a fully formed personality and immortality while being unkillable and feeling vaguely uneasy

ALSO i personally think that chara was a ghost for a long time before they became a blook by adoption

Based on game lore, i think ghosts can possess any inanimate object and just kinda wear it? But it takes a lot of strong emotion to become corporeal

And chara is the super weird exception because they were a human not a monster.

They dont have a soul (i headcanon that their soul got destroyed when asriel died)

And they KNOW this, which is a huge part of why they kinda just... give up

Because they lost their ability to fulfill prophecy

Also, without a soul, they lost their ability to reset, so for the first time since falling underground, theyre subject to the relentless march of time

But theyre still weirdly strong and powerful and more emotional

ALSO they DO still remember being a human but they catch on pretty quickly that other ghosts dont have memories and because chara is stupid they just lie to fit in

Theyre too tired to explain themself, they just want to be alone and feel awful

Now back to ghost lore

Emotions are a lot harder for ghosts??? I decided

And they dont know why,, they tend to blame it on the soul thing

But realistically its actually more of the immortality thing making actions not have consequences and/or or not having a body so they cant have a sense of touch or have physical effects of emotion

They all know that ghosts just tend to be way more floaty and bored and numb

And thats part of why the blooks are so special

Maddy’s rage and Mettaton’s yearning and Napstablook’s misery are like... not great all of the time...

but theyre also way way more emotion than most ghosts have,,, they are just a family supporting each other, being as functional as they can,, just an emo(tional) ghost family

most ghosts barely do anything except like stare at walls but the blooks have their snail farm and that helps them have purpose and it is good

And they hold each other accountable and it is nice

So anyway chara just chills and is in a depression coma for a few decades before the blooks find them and are like “our child/baby cousin”

and they raise them for a cool minute

They are all very protective of the new baby emo blook

And chara doesnt get therapy but at the very least they once again have a family, and they decide they want to try to become corporeal eventually just like mtt and maddy

So anyway chara starts hanging out in the ruins a lot more and they finally tell the blooks theyre leaving to go become corporeal in the ruins

This is actually because they are trying to hang out with toriel

because they miss their mom ;;

but chara’s not gonna admit that to anyone, especially not to themself

And because theyre still repressing their emotions constantly and pretending to be fine, they cant become corporeal

And they hang out in the ruins for a long time because they feel guilty lying to everyone about everything

They still feel like its their fault that all the monsters are stuck underground, because they were SUPPOSED to save everyone and they COULDNT and it HURTS

But again, they are doing too much repression to use this guilt to become corporeal,

so instead they just kinda hide and watch toriel from a distance and cry

Blooky visits them the most, thats why blooky is chilling in the ruins so much at the start of the game

Theyre just there to visit their shy baby cousin ;;

Ofc they wont tell frisk about this because chara wants space and privacy and blooky respects that

but maddy and mtt also visit them a lot

Oh also when mtt and maddy start dissapearing, blookys mental health plummets as their family and support system starts to dissolve

Blooky was actually doing extremely well (for a ghost) for a long time, i headcanon,

but theyre doing the worst theyve been in a long long time during the game, because of family issues

So anyway, chara dissapears when frisk shows up, and maddy assumes this is becaude frisk hurt their fragile feelings

Maddy spends hours desperately searching the ruins for chara and cant find them and assumes that they had their heart crushed and went to hide and disappear in a depression coma for another few decades, and thats part of why maddy is so furious with frisk

Like,, to be clear, maddy is still jumping to conclusions and throwing blame around with no proof, but also, its a logical conclusion to come to

And mettaton has already disappeared too and been gone for a while, too, by this point, so it hurts even worse

But anyway, what actually happened to chara is that;

Because chara is a human ghost, not a monster ghost, normal ghost rules dont apply to them

And they can possess living things too they find out

Maybe they knew it a long time ago, maybe its a new discovery, but for whatever reason they end up possessing frisk and theyre like “what the heck”

And frisk still has most of the control

But now chara is like,,, “this is my chance, im a human again, gotta save the world for real,,,”

and they cant explain this to anyone without revealing their past

so they just chill in frisk’s mind while being super crypic and trying to figure out how it works

Pacifist route, this is pretty much exactly what happens

They manage to help frisk save the day

And in my headcanon, the no mercy route is started by frisk who is scared when faced by monsters attacking them

And then chara, who was aready hiding in a semidepression coma for a while, immediately transitions to a panicked “gotta protect this body, gotta protect my chance to be human, i died and threw away my chance to save everyone the first time, i CANNOT lose this chance again”

And so the combination of both frisk and chara is the genocide run

Because frisk kills in self defense, and whenever frisk hesitates, chara jumps in

Also theres leftover feelings from the whole asriel incident

Because again, ghosts come from monsters who died unsatisfied

And chara’s main source of unsatisfaction is how they were trying to get asriel to kill people before he died and then he didnt

So thats a strong strong feeling ruling them

So anyway by the time they both realize how bad its become they figure its too late and also the amount of LOVE has made them numb

And thats when chara who, despite everything, still has idiot hero complex and thinks they need to save the world

So, while panicking, they step in at the very end, and erase the timeline and delete everything

And also to clarify

They DONT HAVE this power at any other point in the game

Because, guess why

They become corporeal

Just like maddy, the no mercy route is the only thing that gives them strong enough emotion to spontaneously become corporeal

So they become corporeal and as soon as they have a soul again and can reset again, they just erase everything

Ok back to fluff

Post pacifist route, they are still a non corporeal ghost

They can still float around and look just like the other blooks

And it takes them a while to open up about things, but they do end up moving back in with blooky so that blooky isnt completely alone

And also they do way better with a family

Also they can float through the mountain and talk to flowey down below and bring him news

And now that they know about him, they can bond with him and explain that they dont have a soul either but that doesnt mean theyre worthless

Oh ALSO

The other dead humans dont have ghosts

BECAUSE

ghosts only come from restless dead MONSTERS

and chara is the weird special exception

Because they were a monster when they died

They became a ghost and asriel didnt because they were way more restless and stressed than asriel was when both of them died

Like sure, asriel felt awful, but chara was the one who was way more like “this is my fault, i CANT die now, the world NEEDS me”

So anyway

charablook the emo tween ghost and asriel flowey the eldrich goat daisy are siblings once more and they hang out and eventually they are okay and have a family again

Thank you for reading, this has been my thoughts on a crack theory that accidentally went too far

This isnt even everything, maybe i’ll make a part two eventually, but i promised to have this post out like two days ago, so i wanted to post SOMTHING

Anyway leave your thoughts if youd like

Im not looking for people to disprove it, i already know its crazy, i dont think it was intentional by the game writers, but i do think its a fun concept

thats the fun of it, so if anyone wants to run with it im all for it lol

Thanks again! Have a nice day!

#no mercy #as a warning tag #chara undertale #napstablook undertale #fic tag #meta #analysis #crack theroy #undertale #i didnt edit this very much #so if there are any major typos or parts that didnt make sense #or were illegible #feel free to let me know so i can clarify

127 notes · View notes

mikwrites-archive · 3 years

Text

tango in the night

♜ pairing: kim mingyu x reader ♜ warnings: death, suicide, swearing, guns, slight suggestiveness ♜ genre: apocalypse au, friends to lovers ♜ wc: 4.3k

♜ a/n: inspired by fleetwood mac’s song and the photos of mingyu from this hit performance bc WHEW - it turned out way longer than i expected and i ran past the image limit hence the weird dividers HWJBSJD ALSO every other part is a flashback so i hope its not confusing!! enjoy <33 (ps. i hope theres no mistakes bc im posting before i go to bed n im sleepyyy)

The sky is a hazy purple when Kim Mingyu reappears in your life.

There’s streaks of red on the horizon, like a bitter reminder of what it has taken to slowly heal, and something restless inside you is able to settle at the sight for a few moments as you look on from your porch.

You can tell it’s him the minute his figure solidifies past the sunflower field, but still, you rest your hand on the rifle warily. He doesn’t see you until he’s staring down your barrel, and he slows significantly.

“Stop right there.” Unwavering, you cock your rifle, aiming it straight at him.

“It’s me.” Mingyu blinks, halting, holding his hands up. He seems taller than you remember, honeyed skin curving over firm muscles.

“I know who you are.”

Kim Mingyu. You flash back to the moonlit night, tinted in deep blue and black, silver highlighting itself across his back like a sculptor’s pride. You shake yourself out of it quickly.

No use in dwelling over dreams held too closely to the heart.

“Take off your clothes.”

“Huh?” Mingyu’s features draw together confusedly, with a tinge of embarrassment.

“I need to make sure you’re not marked. It’s not like I haven’t seen you without them before.” You add on, unimpressed at his pace, and Mingyu reluctantly obliges.

“I would have enjoyed a nice candlelit dinner or something before this, didn’t know you were so possessive-”

“Oh, shut up.” You bite back a choked laugh that you hate being unable to control at his words, and Mingyu grins.

He’s got a new scar rippling across his shoulder as he turns slowly in a circle, and the others are committed to memory, traced under your fingertips more than enough.

“I think you trust me enough to know I don’t have a mark down there.” Mingyu smirks amusedly, eyes flicking down to his boxers.

You glare at him, letting your aim drop. He puts on his clothes methodically, tilting his head at you.

“You do remember that the sunflowers repel marked ones right?”

“Evolution is a sneaky bitch.” You sigh, leaning the rifle back against the rail, and Mingyu steps up the rickety porch, standing in front of you.

I missed you. You want to say. I’m glad you’re alive.

“Why are you here?”

“I dunno.” I wanted to see you if you still were here. “Nowhere else I could have gone.”

“Didn’t you know?” You crack a sarcastic grin. “We have the entire world at our fingertips.”

♜ ♜ ♜

The Apocalypse is expected.

You’re taught about it in school, the news broadcasting daily updates about another storm, another decrease in air quality, another hole in the atmosphere. The sky bled further to red every day, until you and Mingyu barely remembered its true colour.

The Virus, however, throws the world further into tempestuous chaos.

Till this day, no one knows exactly what bacteria, what symptoms, anything, except that a sickly circle mark appears somewhere on your skin.

With governments already crumbling, the disease made them shrink further within themselves, the upper class secluding themselves, and the lower succumbing, while the middle struggled, and you and Mingyu were the very latter.

Being next door neighbours, it was predetermined fate to be close friends with one another, walking home from school together, swapping lunches, and sharing secrets. Maybe even sharing a life, a love, a bond, unbreakable unless by death.

“It’s morning.” Mingyu comments, peering out the curtain, judging the light in the sky. Neither of you had slept since the announcement on the news that the Virus was now in your city.

“They’re not coming back.” You state flatly. Mingyu knew it as well, and only sighed. “They’re probably walking around downtown, not even knowing their own names.”

“They’re still our parents.” Mingyu argues weakly.

“Not anymore.”

Grim silence falls.

“Hey.” Mingyu cracks a hesitant smile, nudging you in the side. “Y’know what this means?”

Your wary stare doesn’t betray your curiosity, but Mingyu knows you.

“We have the entire world at our fingertips.”

Some kind of world, you think bitterly as you recall the memory. Yet Mingyu has a half smile on his face at your repeated words of the past, as if the world and your memories in it were meant to be savoured.

You supposed he was somewhat right.

The sky is healing back to blue and something inside you slowly begins to mend with Mingyu at your side.

♜ ♜ ♜

“You haven’t changed anything.”

“Of course not.”

Mingyu trails his fingertips along the walls. The wallpaper is peeling now, showing the bones of the structure that held too many memories to change. It felt disrespectful to shift anything, and cleaning the rooms even if they weren’t used, gave you something to do.

“Any word from the others lately?”

“I get letters from ‘Cheol, ‘Hannie, and ‘Shua. By pigeon. Can you believe it? Leave it to ‘Shua to tame pigeons in his spare time.” You snort, and Mingyu laughs at the image of Joshua with a pigeon. “They tell me about the other when they get news.”

“So no one else has visited?”

You shake your head.

“You’ve been alone?”

“I’m never alone.”

Mingyu swallows the lump in his throat. You don’t need to elaborate. He understands.

“I’m scared of forgetting them though.” You whisper. “Jun. Soonyoung. Seungkwan. Hansol. Chan.”

Junhui. No one knows where he is, except Minghao. He wanted it that way, whispering in soft Mandarin to his friend, and Minghao had disappeared for hours after Jun closed his eyes forever.

It was Minghao who pulled the trigger too, Jun pressing the pistol into his hand trustingly, the circle mark creeping out from under his t-shirt collar.

Soonyoung. He’s in the sunflower field, the one who had told you all about their repelling abilities. The sunflower boy, quiet yet exuberant, always facing the light.

He went too soon towards it, getting the group of you out of an abandoned mall populated with marked ones, deep gashes bloodying his clothes. His last breath was in Jeonghan’s arms, in the second bedroom of your house now.

Seungkwan and Hansol. All that you found of them was torn tie-dye cloth, and a battered navy cap, after they didn’t come back from looking for supplies. The last thing they had said to you, you remember clearly. A crooked smile, a breathless laugh. See you later.

Chan.

It was too soon to think about Chan.

♜ ♜ ♜

It was a week later when you both agreed to venture out of your house, and to go to the school. It was eerily quiet in your neighbourhood, the red from the atmosphere elongating the shadows.

The school is dark, and you barely make it two steps in when you encounter others.

“Who’s there?” The voice is loud, demanding, and with the shuffling that follows, you can tell you’re outnumbered in the dim light.

There’s a click of a gun, and you and Mingyu freeze. He scrambles for your hand reassuringly. Squeezes it once.

“Names. Now. And why you’re here.”

“We wanted to see if anyone would be here. If anyone could help us.” You stammer after you state your names.

“They’re okay. They’re in my class.” Minghao steps into view solemnly, and suddenly you both feel like you can breathe again.

There’s twelve of them.

Seungcheol, Jeonghan, Joshua, Jun, Soonyoung, Wonwoo, Jihoon, Minghao, Seokmin, Seungkwan, Hansol, and Chan.

A tentative system is already set up in the days they’d arrived before you, and it’s easy to fit in. There’s a lot of travelling by foot until Jeonghan learns how to hotwire cars, tired of walking. There’s a lot of scavenging for weapons and food, competitions made out of it. There’s lots of soft singing, fooling around, and lots of quiet nights, holding each other.

The house is long abandoned by the time you all stumble across it, and it’s quickly shaped into a home.

You remember planting sunflower bulbs. Attempting numerous recipes to accommodate the scarce ingredients and everyone’s tastes. Sticky notes and knick-knacks everywhere. You couldn’t say it was broken when the group diminished in number, but the gaps left with each mourning never went away.

Soon enough, it was only you left in an empty house you still called home, despite lacking everything that once made it one. You, with the wispy dreams long gone, and the nightmares.

♜ ♜ ♜

The door slams open, and you wake up, the scream dying in your throat along with the night terror, and you forget you’re not alone anymore when your bedroom door bursts open.

Mingyu holds you close, soothing whispers falling from his lips, rocking you back and forth gently, and you shove him away like his touch scalds you, and in a way it does.

It’s burning, the evocation of the past, and once he relents, a shuddering chill falls over your body.

“Who was it?” Mingyu asks softly, and you can’t look at him. The moon shines too bright for your liking through your window.

You heave, eyes fluttering shut, shaking as a mix of sweat and tears drip down your cheeks.

“Chan.” You croak.

Mingyu imperceptibly flinches as if the gunshot reverberated just outside again.

♜ ♜ ♜

Chan was always clinging to you.

It was something the others all teased him about, picking favourites, and you remember his indignant response every time.

“If they don’t have a problem with it, why do you?”

And you never did have a problem. Chan was like your little brother, much like to everyone else in your ragtag team, doting on him in a world where loving care was scarce. You wished you could have shielded him from it all.

“I’m tired.”

“Then go to sleep.” You murmur with a teasing gleam of a smile, comfortingly smoothing his hair back. He’d been having nightmares more frequently since Soonyoung was laid down in the sunflowers, and it was common for one of you to stay up with him.

“Not that kind of tired. I keep… I keep seeing them. I want it to stop.” A tear rolls down his cheek, and you move to brush it away, but he beats you to it, struggling to sit up.

“Channie…”

His head falls to your shoulder, choking out sobs. You hold him close, praying to whatever higher being that may exist to spare him from further despair. And if no such thing existed, you’d swore to make one into life out of your own blood and tears.

“I’m not a baby anymore. You know that right?” He sniffles once he calms down.

“I know.” You blink, startled at his sudden statement.

“I know I’m the youngest… but I can take care of myself.”

“I know.” You nod, and Chan stares piercingly at you, before slumping down against his bed frame.

“I’m tired.”

You don’t say anything, unsettled at his sudden shift.

“Can you go get me a glass of water? I think it’ll help me sleep better.”

“Okay.”

“Thank you.” He calls out, and you pause, smiling at him. He returns it.

You drop the glass when the shot rings out, shattering across the floor, water cascading like the blood on the floorboards just above you.

You run up, uncaring of the glass shards, collapsing to your knees when the sight unfolds in front of you, thundering footsteps of the others hot on your heels.

They have to pry you away from his body, and you’re positive you’ve torn his shirt in your struggle, the blood on your hands unrecognizable from his or from your ripped off nails. The dark stain still lies on the wood under your feet when you dare to venture into the room painfully.

You sobbed for nights on end. You weep this night too. Mingyu sits by your side.

♜ ♜ ♜

“I think we should ask the others to come back again.” Mingyu clinks his spoon against the side of his cereal bowl, wincing when it resonates, as if increasing the severity of his suggestion. Yet it’s said in a tone of careful deliberation that has you knowing he’s thought it out.

So you pause in slathering butter on your toast. Setting down the knife and slice of bread, you lean your palms on the counter, thinking.

You wondered if Jeonghan still had trouble sleeping at times. You wondered if Jihoon still liked to write lyrics on whatever slips of paper he could find. You wonder if Minghao still stopped to look at the rain whenever it did. You wondered.

“Okay.” You nod finally, and Mingyu perks up.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Turning to stare out the window, you watch the sparrows swoop across the long abandoned telephone wires.

“I think it’s time.”

♜ ♜ ♜

Everyone leaves soon after that.

Everyone except Mingyu.

You don’t blame them. There’s promises to find ways to keep in touch. But it hurts all the same. And there’s no doubt it’s harder for you both to survive alone.

“Hey, wait, stop.” You grab Mingyu’s arm suddenly, nearly scaring the living daylights out of him as you make your way back to the house from scavenging for extra supplies and food, your voice hushed in the dark evening.

“My parents were wearing jackets like that the last time I saw them.”

Mingyu looks over at where your gaze lies, lost between the figures of two people undoubtedly victims of the Virus. Though Mingyu supposes he can’t call them people anymore.

“Let’s go.” Mingyu tugs at your arm. When you don’t move, he does it again, harsher.

“But…” You’re adamant, digging your heels in the dirt firmly, wistfully staring at the couple, staggering around a long abandoned car.

“Don’t you remember? They’re probably walking around downtown, not even knowing their own names.” Mingyu persuades, and you take a reluctant step with him.

“But what if it’s really them?” You persist, and Mingyu makes you stare into his eyes. The expression that meets his is chilling. Your gaze is clear, unmuddled, and somehow, that’s more terrifying to him than if they were glazed over by a lost delirium.

You pull out of his grip, and before he can stop you, you call over to them. A cold shiver runs down Mingyu’s spine as they look up at you both, ambling over, and he grabs you again.

“What are you doing?” He hisses.

“Aren’t you tired, ‘Gyu?” You state simply, helplessly. “Aren’t you tired of being alone?”

Something in Mingyu’s gaze hardens, like glowing tempered steel doused in water, and he yanks you back, pressing you to his chest, two shots firing off from his hand.

You squirm, shouting at him, and he claps a hand over your mouth, pulling you along with him. He drags you all the way back to the house, even after you stop resisting.

You disappear up the stairs the minute he lets go, and he watches you. He waits a few moments before following you, biting the inside of his cheek.

He finds you in Chan’s room, sitting on the bed cross legged, staring forlornly at the stained wooden boards.

“I know you’re hurting. It hurts for me too. But don’t take it out on me. Please.” Mingyu whispers from the doorway, and when you look up, he slowly walks over, sitting beside you carefully. “And I’m not tired of being alone.” He adds on quietly. “I’ve always had you.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m really glad to have you by my side. Honestly. I just… I miss Chan. I miss everyone.” You lean on his shoulder tiredly.

“I know.” Mingyu says softly. “I know.”

He interlocks his fingers with yours, squeezing once.

“But there’ll be a time when we can be back together again.”

♜ ♜ ♜

It’s late springtime when they start to come home.

The air is warm, a gentle breeze often caressing your cheeks, and the sun lingers longer, a telltale sign of the upcoming summer.

It was a long ideal, letters taking weeks to send and the whereabouts of each group or person completely in the hands, or wings, of Joshua’s pigeons.

You’re pinning laundry to the clothesline when Mingyu thunders down the stairs, flying past you from the hallway.

“What’s going on?” You call, eyebrows furrowed concernedly, and he skids back, a grin curving beautifully across his face.

“Someone’s here.”

Dropping whatever was in your hands, you race after him, and you can’t help but break into an identical grin as you see Wonwoo and Jihoon stepping onto the porch. You both stand opposite each other from the doorway, until Wonwoo speaks drily.

“Long time no see.”

“No shit.” Mingyu laughs, striding to give them both a hug, and you join them, cheeks hurting from your joy. Jihoon even returns the embrace.

Minghao shows up that night, seeing him in the dim distance as you light the lanterns on the porch, calling the rest of them who are catching up over the dinner table.

“Nice to see you again.” Minghao smiles warmly, genuinely happy, and you’re all eager to throw your arms around him. “Alright, alright.” He giggles softly, nodding as he pries you off, walking inside and joining the group.

Seungcheol, Jeonghan, and Joshua are the last, appearing the next morning, just before the sun rises, with Mingyu, Jihoon, and Wonwoo still sound asleep, Minghao making tea for you and him.

“You’re awake early.”

“So are you.” He states pointedly by the kettle, and you smile. “Dreams?”

Your expression turns solemn at that, and you nod. Minghao pours the steaming liquid carefully, sliding the cup to you before he speaks again.

“I see Junhui most nights. Sometimes it’s nice. A good memory. Like when he let the chickens fly away because he thought they couldn’t fly. Or just the sound of his laugh. And sometimes…” Minghao hesitates, swallowing harshly. “Sometimes it’s me pulling the trigger over and over.”

You don’t realize you’re crying until Minghao hands you a tissue, and you brush at the wetness on your cheeks gently.

“Thank you.”

He smiles, a bit melancholy, and rises, beckoning you to the porch to watch the sunrise, hands wrapped around the warm mugs. You sit and wait in comfortable silence until it’s broken by a rumble of an engine pulling up.

“Surprise!”

“Joshua Hong, what the fuck!” You yelp, standing incredulously as they step out of the car. “Is that really you?”

“The one and only.”

“I mean this in the most admirable way possible, your arms are huge.”

“Not bigger than me.” Seungcheol grins, and both of them flex, Seungcheol burying his head in his hands embarrassedly afterwards as everyone laughs.

“Yes, we get it, but without me, no matter how many muscles, you’d probably be dead.” Jeonghan drawls, slinging his arms around their shoulders. “Did you guys have breakfast yet?”

“Not even a hello?” You laugh, the others join you as bickering breaks out, and when the dawning sunlight floods through the windows, something inside you feels like the last piece has fitted in your soul, finally complete.

♜ ♜ ♜

“What would you say if I went away for a little bit?”

Mingyu brings it up over washing dishes, the rush of running tap water almost drowning out his nervous inquiry. You don’t pause in your drying of a plate, yet you wonder if he can see the way your hands tremble.

It’s been a few months since Chan was buried next to Soonyoung, and you were doing better. Slowly, like honey trickling down the beehive on the old maple in the backyard, the result of hard labour like the bustling bees.

“A little bit? Or a while?”

“I don’t know yet.” He admits, and you swallow.

“Will you be okay?”

“Will you?” He asks in response, and you exhale.

“I think so.”

Turning off the water, Mingyu flicks the water off his hands into the sink, and then taps your cheek to make you look at him.

“I want you to be sure that you’ll be okay.”

“I will be.” You say more strongly this time, almost like a resolution to yourself, and MIngyu’s gaze lingers, before it drops with a nod.

“Okay.”

“When will you leave?”

“Tomorrow morning probably.” He laughs, but it sounds forced. “I don’t have many things.”

You nod, smiling weakly.

“Okay.”

He opens his mouth to say something, then closes it. You finish doing the dishes in silence.

♜ ♜ ♜

Noise becomes a constant in the house, or outside of it, as the days get warmer and more hours are spent in the sun.

Today was no different, Seungcheol, Wonwoo, Jihoon, and Mingyu washing the car, while Minghao and Jeonghan sat with you on the porch watching them.

“So.” Minghao starts, and you raise your eyebrows.

“So.”

“You and Mingyu?”

“What about me and Mingyu?”

“God, I’ve been waiting for years for you idiots to realize, and you’re telling me it still hasn’t happened?” Jeonghan sputters, and Minghao snorts.

“Something had to have happened.” Minghao agrees.

“I can't say if it was something or not.” You admit quietly.

“But it wasn’t nothing.” Minghao implores knowingly, and you lapse into silence.

♜ ♜ ♜

You’re awoken by a pounding at your bedroom door the same night. It ceases for a few seconds, making you think you’re dreaming until it starts up again.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” You shout, untangling your body from the mess of tossed covers, and you can’t help but feel irritated even if there was any threat of danger. You don’t bother turning on the lights, the moonlight bright enough. Throwing open the door, you glare at a disheveled Mingyu, as if he ran his hands through his hair too many times. “What?”

“I need to tell you something.”

“This couldn’t wait until the morning?” You gripe, and MIngyu’s face falls, and you realize it couldn’t wait till the last moment before he left. You soften, slightly ashamed. “What is it?”

“You’re my best friend. You know that right?”

The words sting, and you’re not entirely sure why, but you nod.

“I know.”

Mingyu swallows. His hands flutter at his sides, uncertain, and you can’t help but feel the same at his behaviour.

“Mingyu, what’s-”

His lips fall onto yours, you think that’s the only explanation, but they’re soft, gentle, in a way that encompasses you with warmth and you can’t help falling into the embrace.

“You’re my best friend.” He whispers between kisses, over and over, and the words take on a new meaning with the tender look in his eyes as you fall back onto your bed. “You know that right? Tell me you know.”

“I know ‘Gyu. I know.” You murmur breathlessly, cupping his face, and the moon seems to shine just for him.

You knew Kim Mingyu in the sun like it was his natural element. But Kim Mingyu in the moon was like the supernatural, silver stealing across his jaw, his biceps, shoulder blades, every sharp and smooth curve that had you in its deadly soft clutches.

But it was still Mingyu. Your Mingyu. Your best friend.

♜ ♜ ♜

“Morning.”

Mingyu chimes cheerily, ambling into your room and drawing the blinds back, sunlight blinding your groggy state.

“Mingyu, what the fuck?”

“Jeonghan said we can borrow the car for the day.” Mingyu swings the keys from his hand excitedly. “I may or may not have woken him up to ask so he didn’t care, but still.”

“To do what?”

“Roadtrip.” Mingyu shrugs, smiling, as if to say what else? “I’ll meet you downstairs in ten minutes.”

You use an old map from the dusty attic space, tracing a route to the beach, and packing some sandwiches along. It’s soothing, the wind flowing through the rolled down windows, Mingyu’s old sunglasses perched on his nose as he drives and sings to some random song that resurfaced in his memory.

He sets up the blanket and basket of food while you stand at the tip of where the tide came in, watching the lulling waves roll.

“What’re you thinking about?” He huffs, tucking his hands in his pockets as he stands next to you, glancing at your solemn features.

“Do you remember,” you start just as Mingyu’s about to repeat his question, “that night?”

“You’ve gotta be a little more specific there.”

“The night before you left.”

Mingyu stares out across the water, wind ruffling his hair.

“Yeah.” He answers simply.

“Why me?” You blurt.

“What?”

“You could have had anyone, so why me?”

Mingyu knows you’re not talking only about that night now, but the entirety of your existence together. Maybe it was the fate of next door neighbours. Maybe it was the fact of the Apocalypse that numbers had strength. Or maybe…

“Because you’re the only one I want, you always have been. Is that really so hard to believe?”

“A little.” You whisper, and Mingyu looks at you finally.

“I’ll be by your side as long as I can. You don’t have to return anything. Just let me do that and I’ll be happy.”

“Then why did you leave that time?”

“Because I was scared. I couldn’t help but think that one of us might get the Virus. Then… I don’t think I would have been able to do it.” He admits, kicking at the sand lightly.

“You’re stupid.”

“Thanks.” Mingyu snorts sarcastically, and you sigh.

“You’re stupid to think that I wouldn’t want you by my side always. You’re stupid to think I depend on you too much, because people need to depend on each other. And… and you’re stupid to think I don’t love you.”

“You don’t make any sense.” He shakes his head, but he’s chuckling softly.

“You’re my best friend. You know that right?”

You clasp his hand firmly, looking at him, and he returns your gaze, slowly tugging him close. You press a kiss to the corner of his mouth, and they curve upwards gently as he murmurs.

“I know.”

♜ taglist: @seijoh @soranihimawari @peachy-yabbay

#caratwritersclub #kim mingyu x reader #mingyu imagines #mingyu x you #mingyu x reader #kim mingyu imagines #kim mingyu scenarios #svt x you #svt x reader #svt imagines #svt scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen x you #seventeen x reader #seventeen scenarios #tw suicide #suicide tw

79 notes · View notes

hotchley · 3 years

Note

PLEASEEEEEEEEEE tell me theres a scene in bby Hotchner where they’re in public and Emily has to carry him like he’s her kid (bc honestly that’s the most realistic thing, they look super similar

(This was gonna be a whole fic, but my head is empty and I want to answer this because the visual is so cute, so here goes nothing. Also, if anyone would like to draw this, please feel free and I will love you forever. This also got slightly out of hand so please ignore how poorly placed the keep reading is but yeah)

And I low-key hate it because I feel like I didn’t really fulfil the prompt, but we’re going with it! (Again)

tw: very light implications of past child abuse

It’s one of those days where he was restless. Rossi didn’t blame him. They were forced to spend the entire weekend indoors because of the horrific weather- he was not about to risk another cold- so he had a lot of pent up energy.

It eventually resulted in everyone giving each other identical looks because they love Aaron, they really do, but it’s very distracting and difficult to watch him running around everywhere and just being in awe of everything.

Emily stood up and tapped him on the shoulder. When he turned around, he saw it was her and grinned. He’d never admit to everyone because he loves all of them, but Miss Emmy is one of his favourites. They look very similar, so he can pretend she’s his real mom.

Although, he’s learnt now, that family is more than blood and parents are the ones that care for you and love you unconditionally, so really, his new family are all his parents.

“Come on child, l’m taking you to the park,” she said.

Aaron’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

“Yes. Because you have way too much energy and you need to burn it off. Also, you look very nice today and I would like to be able to tell everyone that you’re a mini-me.”

“I dressed myself today. Mr Dave isn’t very fond of me doing that, because apparently I choose strange things, but I told him that it was because I wanted to look like all of my favourite people,” he said with a smile.

“Well I think you look very fashionable. Are the mismatched socks inspired by Dr Spencer?”

“Yeah! And the slippers are inspired by you because you always wear the shoes that you want wherever you go,” he explained.

She smiled. “Well come on mini-me. To the park we go!”

Aaron ran ahead of her. She smiled. Maybe she would never have kids of her own, but this, this was good. And nice. And it felt like she was finally getting a chance at loving a child without fearing the worst.

Three hours passed. It was three hours of Aaron burning off forty-eight hours of pent-up energy. He went on the swings- he liked it when Emily pushed him because she was always less cautious than the rest of them- down the slide. He even ran around with some of his other friends.

Emily was just glad it was the ones whose parents believed he was her son from a previous relationship. It should have occurred to her before that they needed to agree on one story, but they hadn’t, and now some parents believed it was her son whilst some believed he was Derek and Spencer’s adopted son.

The whole thing was a mess.

“Hey child! We need to head back now. It’s going to start getting dark soon,” she called out.

Aaron came running over. He seemed much more relaxed now.

“Did you say goodbye to your friends?”

He nodded. “Can we come again tomorrow? With Miss JJ and Dr Spencer and Miss Penny and Mr Derek and Mr Dave? Because I like going with you, but I also want us all to go because it’ll be so much fun!”

Emily blanched. That was not a situation anyone was prepared for. “I- we’ll see kid. Okay?”

Aaron pouted, but nodded. “Okay.”

Something seemed off, but she couldn’t quite place what it was. She shrugged, and carried on. Children were really strange. It was when they started getting closer to the building that she picked up on what was going on.

She turned around and Aaron was dragging his feet along the road, clearly tired from his time at the park. He was fighting to keep his eyes open and every step he took seemed to lead him one step closer to sleep.

Emily ran back over and crouched down. “Child, are you tired?”

He shook his head, but the yawn he let out completely undermined him. Emily raised an eyebrow and he shrugged.

“I’m not tired. I have so much energy that I could... listen to Dr Spencer and then tell you everything he said!”

“I won’t make you go for a nap,” she said.

“Okay, maybe I am tired.”

“That’s what I thought,” she said, and she lifted him into his arms. For his age, he was both small and incredibly light, so lifting him wasn’t even a problem for Spencer, who they all joked was the weakest.

Well, the others joked. She didn’t believe there was any evidence so suggest the opposite.

He let out a yelp when his feet left the ground, but on instinct, he wrapped his legs around her waist and his arms around the neck. After a moment, he buried his head in her neck so he was essentially clinging to her like a koala.

Emily liked carrying him, and Aaron enjoyed the feeling of being picked up. Not having to walk was nice, because it meant he could close his eyes and just not worry about anything. Also, Emily’s hair smelt like peach and oranges, which was always a pleasant thing.

He held onto her, and by the time they reached the elevator, his grip had loosened significantly because he trusted her to not drop him, and that was something that Emily took very seriously.

Hotch had fallen asleep at some point, and she wasn’t about to wake him up. As they had been walking back, several people had given her soft smiles when they saw the child in her arms. One elderly lady had said that her son was the most adorable little thing she’d ever seen. Another parent had shushed her children because the little boy was sleeping.

“Hi Em,” Anderson said when she got in.

She shook her head slightly and tilted her head towards Aaron. Not that Anderson knew it was Aaron. At least, as far as she knew he didn’t. He had given them all strange looks recently. Ones that suggested he knew something.

“Oh is he sleeping? So sorry. You know, he looks exactly like you, it’s almost eerie.”

“Grant, he has half my DNA. Of course he looks like me.”

“I mean, he does look more like Agent Hotchner, but sure. Whatever you say,” he said with a smirk.

Emiky’s jaw dropped.

“Like I told Agent Jareau, I’m more than just a pretty face. And this is where I get off. Bye Agent Prentiss. Bye Aaron!”

When Emily looked down, Aaron was staring at her with wide eyes. All the movement had made him wake up, and he did not look impressed.

“You woke me up,” he said.

“I’m sorry child. Would you like me to put you down?”

Aaron shook his head and tightened his grip. “Like it when you pick me up. Everyone thinks I’m your kid then.”

“If you like it, then I won’t let go,” Emily said. She meant it literally, but also metaphorically. She would never let Aaron go until he was ready. There would be no more darkness in his life.

“Good,” he said.

She entered the bullpen and a few of the other agents gave her fond smiles as they realised the child in her arms had his eyes closed. He was a cute kid. The resemblance to Aaron Hotchner was uncanny, but they were almost sure that was a coincidence.

When Dave saw Emily and Aaron return, he smiled slightly. When he realised that Aaron’s head was buried in Emily’s hair, he grinned. His job was going to be a lot easier.

“Hey little one. Did you have a good time at the park?”

Aaron nodded. “Miss Emmy carried me back as well. And she didn’t drop me at all!”

Dave’s smile wavered slightly. “That’s lovely to hear Aaron. Is Miss Emmy allowed to put you down now? I’m sure she wants to keep holding you, but I’ve missed my little one.”

Aaron nodded, and Emily passed him over. Dave kissed his forehead and Aaron giggled slightly.

When they got home, Aaron wouldn’t stop talking about how much fun he had at the park with his friends, and also about how nice everyone was. Dave smiled and responded at all the right moments. Never once did he try and cut the boy off, because he finally seemed comfortable enough to speak.

Aaron wouldn’t complain when Dave sent him to bed. And after they had made sure there were no monsters in the bed, closet, or outside in the hallway, he climbed into the bed. When Dave sat beside him to put the night light on, he didn’t flinch away.

“Mr Dave?” he said just as he was about to leave.

Dave turned around.

“I love you. And Miss Emmy. A lot.”

“We love you too kid.”

Aaron smiled, and fell asleep, dreaming of parks and being held. And feeling safe.

#baby hotchner au #aaron hotchner #emily prentiss #criminal minds #david rossi #tw child abuse

19 notes · View notes

smalltragedy · 3 years

Text

* justice smith, demi man + he/they | you know gabriel de leon, right? they’re twenty three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, six years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 1984 (infinite jest) by the used like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole waking up in a body as heavy as the dead, emotions always on the verge of spilling over - you laugh before the punch lands, the belief that every encounter you have will be the last thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 31st, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them )

hi im just reposting gabe’s intro bc its been a very long time n im starting a little fresh hehe. yes i do regret the text color bt im not going back.

VIOLENCE TW

mini playlist.

ghosting ;; mother mother / roam the room ;; citizen / art of doubt ;; metric / thnks fr th mmrs ;; fall out boy / heart in a cage ;; the strokes / where is my mind? ;; the pixies / flowers grow out of my grave ;; dead man’s bones / 1984 (infinite jest) ;; the used / blister in the sun ;; the violent femmes.

statistics.

full name: gabriel de leon.

nickname(s): gabe.

birthday: october 31st, 1997.

zodiac: scorpio sun, scorpio moon, gemini ascending.

label: the icarian.

hometown: belleville, new jersey.

sexuality: bisexual (masc-leaning).

pinterest.

biography.

it’s only rly ever been gabe n his mom n the little new jersey suburbs that r always the same no matter where they go. they dn’t speak abt fathers or brothers or spain or anywhere other than the now, and how its constantly changing bt oddly the same.

his mom’s name is sonia n we love her. she worked a lot as a single mom n p much hs done everything on her own ever since leaving spain.

they dn’t talk abt spain bt we cn talk abt spain n hw sonia hd grown up partially there n partially in the states n hw she’d originally planned to live there forever bt the man she’d fallen in love with ws involved in some. high class dangerous shit n it ws safer fr them to part even if tht involved leaving everything she knew n loved <3

bt its like. ok. bc she hd gabe <3 n they dnt talk abt it so it practically nvr happened. n she tries her best as a mom n usually tht is enough.

they moved around a lot just bc sonia is a very. flighty person. anxious bt nvr seems tht way is just always. tense. gabe didnt think she ws capable of relaxing fr. a rly long time.

she wld commute 2 nyc every morning n after school gabe wld climb onto the train n by the time he got 2 her place of work she’d be just getting off n they’d get a slice of pizza n sometimes they’d go somewhere like central park or coney island (just fr the novelty) bt most of the time they just got back on the train home w/ gabe either doing homework or napping on her shoulder.

when gabe got a little older he’d sometimes skip school n take the train after sonia had already gone so he cld spend the day in nyc. he liked learning bt didnt rly like school. he nvr properly fit in bc of the amt of times they’d move so it felt like nowhere ws. right fr him.

got rly involved in. the punk scene as a young unsupervised teenager n tht led 2 a lot of like. shitty stick n pokes bt also a love of. very loud angry music n a sense of justice tht he held tightly in his fists. got mouthy towards bullies whether at school or in the scenes he involved himself in n started getting into a lot of fights bc of it.

during this, sonia ended up dating n marrying gabe’s stepdad who he calls craig sometimes bt i dnt think thats his name i wont lie to u guys. its partially a joke n partially purposeful disrespect bc gabriel does not trust a single man bt like. man. ‘craig’ is just an accountant. he’s fine he’s a good dude. they once bonded over like. the mets.

violence tw // anyways. when gabriel ws 16 he got into a super super bad fight tht ended rly. terribly n like listen. nobody died bt it ws just. it got blown up very out of proportion n gabe might’ve gotten expelled even tho he wsnt even the one who started it bt thts okay. ‘craig’, or paul, suggested tht maybe. a change of scenery wld b good fr gabe n b4 they knew it they were. moving to paul-robert’s hometown of irving, north carolina. violence end of tw //

he wld’ve complained more bt. fr sonia’s sake gabe kept it 2 himself. it made her happy 2 see them all get along anyways n like. idk he cld put forth tht little effort <3

bt honestly like. he didnt rly get into too many fights once they moved down here n even tho sometimes he ws like. ommgg. i hate this town .. its so washed up .. he still made friends n like. the only thing tht changed ws tht it ws a lil harder fr him 2 acquire illegal substances.

anyways. currently he hs a tattoo apprenticeship n is a professional piercer n like. he plays guitar n writes songs bt thts more of a hobby rn than anything else. mostly focused on paying his rent at port apartments bc as much as he. loves his mom he does not want 2 live with her forever <3 n thts okay!

personality & facts.

overall xtremely passionate person like god. feels emotions so intensely. every time he opens his mouth n talks abt an interest of theirs its just very like. u listen n ur like oh. gained 2 inspiration. thanks.

clings onto his friends p tightly bc he like. nvr rly stayed in one place fr super super long in new jersey so he nvr made very long term friends n now hes like. very clingy HLKDSHLKFSHLKDG also hates to b alone. subtle desperation behind interactions with ppl he rly wld like to be friends with.

like dnt get me wrong hes gotten into. sm fights bt thts mostly bc he cannot keep his mouth shut n he also cnt stand douchebags he like. always wants to tear them down prob bc he ws a victim of bullying. n u know what. we support him. otherwise he loves ppl bt esp if they hv similar interests 2 him.

like golden retriever who bites kind of. intensely loyal but at the same time is very skeptical. things tht good things do not last very long even though they’ve been doing already fr the last few years.

also bit of a nerd. they were nvr rly a big fan of school bt theres smth abt a good superhero comic tht draws their attention more than like. any english class evr. bt seven soldiers of victory? classic. big dc fan.

uh. very into like. hardcore music. hardcore rock. punk. if its loud n angry they r into it like so so much. hs sm tattoos is like. super covered in them its partially bc they work at a tattoo shop n partially bc they do not know hw to manage their money well.

ooohh u know what theyre. kinda moody i wont lie to u. very defensive like they dnt evr wna talk abt their past. has experienced Things n they do not wish to discuss them. will usually like. deflect frm conversations he doesnt wna hv.

in tune with nature. loves fkn taking walks. hangs out in the woods by abernathy creek n lilac ridge bc nobody rly goes there n its just. nice

tries not 2 take anything super seriously 2 the point where when he does take smth seriously its a little scary bc theyre super intense abt it. forcibly optimistic even tho on the inside he feels like a total pessimist. lots of. deep down insecurities tht he projects by attaching himself p firmly onto others. >.>

so so so energetic. can never stay still. always hs to be moving around. restless like tht. probably got it frm his mom. overly protective over the ppl he loves. probably got it frm his mom as well.

goes onto Tangents bt also divert frm those tangents n is generally all over the place.

always cold n always looks tired n like he hsnt slept in a thousand years n u know what. sometimes he just does not sleep.

oooohh theyre a vegan. totally into animal rights. devious little demi man beyond that .. loves horror n the paranormal n believes in like. every cryptic. will debate u on it.

erm not. the kindest 2 themself theyre a bit self destructive. impulsive. drives very fast n parties super hard. said i will hv my effy stonem moment. u dont hv to gabe.

bt ya! luvs oranges n reds n is maybe a short king. hs an eyebrow piercing n like. a lip ring i wont fk around here he IS living his best emo life in 2021. a little outdated on the trends bt thats okay. probably will tell u hes frm new jersey. its a personality trait. smokes the shittiest cigarettes ever.

wanted plots.

just ghosting along ,, dnt even exist 2 me ,, ;; god. firstly just the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs like. spoken to romantically n then dropped suddenly. n then maybe like. one tht actually Hurt bt they cnt avoid each other bt theyre actively pretending each other doesnt exist n its. hurtful bc it ws like. actually smth nice bt <3 ykno FKLFSDHG

hey hey heyy c’maahn i’m just a little guy ;; n this is the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs probably. pissed off n hs either fought or been on the verge of fighting just. unable 2 resist a good bicker-turned-duel.

just blistering in the sun ;; they cld b close friends bt also they cld also not b bt just ppl who. indulge in bad impulsive decisions with gabe. general bad influences on each other’s health n just. no good! party hard bt at what cost.

n also ;; like ... rly solid good friendships ... flings n maybe an exe or two tht either ended on good terms or just. horrendous, ppl they’ve distanced frm, ppl also frm up north, piercing customers, bt not tattoo customers bc im p sure they’d get fired if they were just tattoo’ing ppl willy nilly, etc.

#irvingintro #violence tw #(more of a brief mention)#bt still #jst reposting bc its been so long JFGDHFDSGSLFKG

7 notes · View notes