#and there i go word vomiting on tumblr again

[sp0o0kylights]

Steve and Gareth as Cousins, no longer a warm-up and now called Lifelines, part three! I’ll throw it up on A03 when I finish the fourth part. 

Prior parts can be read here: Part One / Part Two 

First things first, the most amazing @ sereinpetrichor managed to track down the OG Twitter thread this runaway train is based off of! 

It was this thread by @gatorthots, the Tumblr version of which can be read, here.  All blame for this idea firmly rests on their brilliant, plot bunny inducing shoulders. 

The other, follow up thread I mentioned was this one by Silas, whose tumblr name I do not know. 

As always and forever, shout out to the most amazing @chalkysgarbagefire​ who helps me edit/plot/pats my head while I’m crying in their inbox bc the words aren’t wording right. 

Warnings: Steve and Robin are canon (S3) drugged. I took a slightly (kinda sorta) more realistic approach. Vomit mention, canon threat of violence/guns (the Russian guards) Mention of pantsing/past bullying, Steve and Robin’s drugged asses not understanding personal space, Dustin’s canon...Im gonna go with assholishness? but like, I think its more than he’s a young kid and doesn't quite have the emotional growth/awareness yet in this kind of insane situation to know how to react to the whole address/torture bit (really who does)/its a defense mechanism--and Gareth sort of has a panic attack. 

Whatever the hell they had been drugged with, Steve and Robin went from 'giggly happy fun time' to 'vomiting into toilet bowls while loudly wishing for death’ awfully fast. 

Gareth was not an expert on drugs. He knew Eddie wasn't either (the guy never dealt anything stronger than your average psychedelic--had some agreement with his Uncle about only selling "the 70s basics") and repeated looks towards him proved Eddie was still trying to figure out what Steve and Robin were on. 

Answers hadn't exactly been forthcoming--Eddie's gently made attempts at ferreting out information had only caused more confusion.

Like why the two of them were so freaked out about a gate, or what had made Robin gasp, and then laugh so hard she cried when Steve had made a particularly rough noise then muttered; "Even that sounds better than Tammy Thompson." 

Either way, Gareth was mostly trying to figure out what the hell they were going to do, because sobering up in a busy, public mall wasn't exactly the best idea. 

"I regret," Robin tried to say, in-between gagging. "I regret--hrk--" 

"Me too." Steve moaned, head resting against the stall wall. Gareth, still caught up in panic, had been permanently regulated to door guard while Eddie alternated between sweet talking, rubbing backs and offering quietly whispered advice. 

"Let's go back in time and ignore the whole silver cat thing." Robin continued, slumping back down onto the floor. 

"Wouldn't have mattered." Steve muttered. "Dustin would have figured it out without us. Kid’s too damn smart." 

"So?" Robin grumbled, quietly thanking Eddie as he once again brushed her hair out of her face. 

"So he would have gone down there anyway, which means I'd be down there anyway." Steve concluded. "We shouldn't have gotten you involved though." 

He shakily pushed himself up, staggering to his feet and looking like bambi on ice while doing it. 

Eddie quickly came round to offer his help, hands spread as Steve groaned out a curse and clutched his head.  

The older took a step forward right as Steve lurched back, unbalanced and shaky. 

 "Oh shit." He said, eyes wide as he crashed backwards into Eddie, the latter catching him with a grunt. 

Despite the entire situation, Gareth found himself stifling a laugh as Eddie wrapped his noodle arms around Steve's chest, trying to hold the other up without falling himself. 

"Come on big boy, why don't we just siiiit back down." Eddie said, slightly breathless as he helped guide Steve back to the floor. "There we go…"

They did so outside the bathroom stall, Eddie sinking into a kneel as Steve sort of flopped down on top of him. 

Blinked a few times, like the drop had rattled what little sense he’d managed to recover in the last few minutes. 

A pleased noise came out of his cousin's throat, and holy shit was Gareth going to have blackmail for life, because rather than vacate Eddie's lap, Steve just turned around in it. 

Reached up with one finger outstretched and proved himself to be very much still under the influence as he touched Eddie's nose.

"Boop!" He said, and then giggled as Eddie dropped onto his ass in surprise. 

Gareth watched Robin as she took the whole thing in, from Steve's snickers to Eddie's shocked expression, eyes growing wide in excitement. 

He failed entirely to cover his own amusement when Eddie abruptly found himself with two sailors invading his personal space, each taking turns to boop his nose. 

“Uh.” He managed to get out, blinking rapidly and at a loss for words. “Ah.” 

Steve caught the metalhead’s awkward, red-faced expression and proceeded to drop his head to Eddie's shoulder, muffling his laughter against the man's vest. 

The helpless look his best friend sent him was one Gareth would remember for a long time. 

“O-kay.” Eddie said, frazzled, as Steve recovered far too quickly, turning to rest his cheek against a slim shoulder as he walked two fingers up Eddie’s battle vest and towards his hair. Likewise, Robin had discovered Eddie’s wallet chain, and had begun fiddling with it. 

One finger curled around a strand of brown hair and Eddie jerked his head, removing the tempting piece away from Steve’s hands. 

“I know you’re used to getting whatever you want, your highness.” He said, his own hand smacking against his waist before Robin figured out the other end of his chain ended in a handcuff, “But you of all people should know the hair is off limits.” 

Completely undeterred, Steve just gave him a loose, easy grin. “It’s so pretty though.” He complained, fluttering his eyelashes in a blatant attempt to try and turn on the ol’ Harrington charm.  “You can touch mine if you want.” 

Yeah, Gareth’s blackmail was getting better by the second. 

He might even get a new piece for his drum kit out of it, if this kept up. 

Free weed too, considering Eddie’s blush was now fire-engine red. 

“Man,” Eddie said in a clear bid to deflect the entire situation (and Steve’s fingers) away from his hair, “the last time someone called me pretty was right before I got pantsed—-is Tommy H hiding in one of the stalls again?” 

Steve picked his head up, confusion crashing down his face. 

“Did he do that?” He asked. 

Then, with growing horror; “Do you think I’d do that?” 

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that your whole little court’s M.O.?” 

Steve sucked in a breath, looking downright hurt. "I wouldn’t do that." He insisted, eyes wheeling from Eddie to Gareth and back, as though hoping Gareth would back him up. 

“I’m not--I’m not friends with Tommy anymore.” Steve continued, voice growing smaller as he spoke. “I’m not friends with anybody anymore, except maybe Dustin.” 

It sounded so defeated; trodden on and subdued that Gareth stepped forward automatically, to do--something. 

Provide the fucking comfort his cousin was oft denied and hug the guy. 

As always, it turned out to be the wrong move. 

"Oh thank god." A kid said, seconds after bulldozing through the main door and nearly bowling Gareth over in the process. "I found them!" He shouted over his shoulder as swept into the room. 

“Speak of the devil.” Steve said flatly, and even drugged, he managed to pull himself back together from distressed to stoic in mere seconds. 

The curly-haired kid--Dustin apparently--stormed right up to the pile of humans splayed on the floor, hands on his hips. "What the hell. We told you two to stay put!" 

Steve rolled his eyes as Robin booed him. 

“Have you forgotten what’s happening? Or how we’re kinda in a Red Dawn situation?” Dustin continued, looking like he’d just escaped from a summer camp. 

The kid even had a walkie talkie clutched in one hand, of all things. 

“We know.” Steve and Robin deadpanned at once, before looking at each other; Steve pointing a finger towards Robin and Robin pointing one back. 

This caused the kids to trade their own long suffering, “can you believe this shit” faces. 

"We need to go, and the only way we’re gonna get out of here unnoticed is if we blend in with the crowd." Dustin said impatiently.  “Now come on Steve, get up already, you've had worse.”

"I really don't think I have." Steve muttered, but moved to push himself to his feet anyway. 

Eddie beat him to it, and he and Gareth both hovered nearby in case Steve was still unsteady. 

Thankfully, the kids' presence seemed to sober up Robin and Steve both. 

Not actually sober, that wasn't how drugs worked, but whatever was left of the fun was sucked right out of the bathroom, replaced by two teenagers who were sort of functional on whatever they'd been drugged with. 

Stress and adrenaline, Gareth knew, could overcome a lot of things. Including Russian "truth serum" apparently. 

“Yeah well you're lucky you got found by these guys and not anyone else. " Dustin continued pointedly, before turning his attention towards Gareth and Eddie both. "Thanks for watching our friends, but we've got them from here." 

Gareth made a sort of unhinged, disbelieving noise. 

 “No, no you do not.” He declared, anxiety clawing at his gut at the mere thought of abandoning Steve to two children. 

"I don't think you heard him." The girl stepped forward, braids swinging about her face as she lifted her chin and nailed him with a cold glare. 

 As if this entire situation couldn’t possibly get weirder, Gareth suddenly realized she had a helmet in her hands and knee pads on.

 "He said we got this. So scram." She flicked her fingers out in a dismissive sort of "shoo" gesture.

"And leave my drugged cousin with his new girlfriend behind!?" Gareth challenged right back, emotions far too raw and frayed to care he was snarling at a little girl. "I don’t think so!”

"Cousin!?" Dustin bit out, sounding almost betrayed for some reason, at the same time Robin who'd been climbing to her feet with Eddie’s help, shouted; "I am not his girlfriend!" 

Steve, clearly unwilling to entertain whatever fight was brewing, clapped his hands together. 

"Yes cousin, Dustin. It's a type of family member." Steve said, after they all flinched and looked to him. He at least looked steadier on his feet this time, though Gareth still lingered nearby in case he took a wrong step. 

"I know what a cousin is, Steve!" Dustin shot back. 

“Then why are you acting like a lunatic?” Steve complained, and Gareth got to watch in real time as Steve pulled on the persona he often wore in high school down around him. “You said it yourself, we don’t have a lot of time. Worse, I don't know if anyone saw Gareth and Munson here with us.” 

He jerked a thumb sideways in Eddie’s direction, not that anyone couldn’t figure out who “Munson” was. 

“They stay with us until we’re out of this mall.” Steve finished, before he started towards the door.

One step he was Gareth’s cousin, drugged and vulnerable because of it. 

The next he stood taller, talked smoother, took charge with an aurora that said he expected everyone to listen to him. 

It was fake as hell, but it worked. 

“I know you’ve got a plan Dustin, so spill it.” He commanded as he walked.  

 Dustin, despite all the squawking, did just that. 

xXx 

Of all the things Gareth had expected to see upon escorting their little ragtag crew out of the bathroom, groups of intimidating, mean looking assholes wasn’t on the list. 

He found himself repeatedly nudging Eddie in the ribs, unable to take his eyes off what was clearly a checkpoint as he staggered to a halt. 

It was one thing to be told people were after Steve and the “Scoop’s Troop” As Robin had jokingly named them. 

It was another entirely to see the security guard directly in front of him look over a woman’s ID before apologizing to her, a sleazy grin matching his oily pony-tail as he waved her on. 

They really were looking for someone. 

Not someone, Gareth realized in dawning horror.

Them. 

Robin apparently, came to the same conclusion seconds later, because she snatched Steve and Dustin’s arms both, hauling them backwards. 

“Argue about Dustin’s address later, we need to find a different way out.” She hissed quietly as she tried to slowly reversed direction, movements still a bit sloppy. 

She might have even gotten away with it, had Sleazy Pony-Tail not turned and made eye contact with Gareth right after she spoke. 

His eyes swept over him, then to the rest of the group, freezing like a cat that had spotted its prey.

“Abort, abort!” Dustin sputtered, wheeling about on his heel. 

Erica, whose name Gareth had learned when she kicked him in the shin after he asked why an actual infant was running around with Steve and Robin, pointed towards the escalators before she beelined over to it, ducking into the center and riding it down like a slide. 

Something Eddied was downright delighted to copy. 

Gareth might have enjoyed it himself, had he not been looking over his shoulder to see not one, not two, but four security guards giving chase--and gaining. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuckikity fuck.” He heard Robin chant as she shot past, Steve planting himself at the top as he made sure everyone got down to the next level before sliding down himself. 

"Do not let them leave!" One of the guards yelled to the others, accent clear as a bell. 

"Holy shit that guy's actually Russian." Gareth found himself saying as he skidded across the floor and bolted after the others, Steve hot on his heels. 

He had kinda expected the Russian thing to be some sort of drug influenced inside joke and not an actual, honest-to-God Soviet. 

Which led to the question of why the fuck adult men in security uniforms had drugged random teenage retail workers.

Food workers.

Whatever the fuck one called a two people who scooped ice-cream in sailor costumes. 

"There's another group up ahead!" Eddie yelped, swerving sideways and nearly taking Erica out while doing it. 

Noise erupted ahead of them in the form of foreign shouting and loud, harshly barked commands to “Freeze!”  

‘Oh hell no.’ Gareth thought wildly, as he caught the form of the giant fricken gun the guard closest to him held. 

“Split up!” Dustin howled, and before anyone could comment about how bad an idea that was, Gareth found himself being yanked sideways. 

Steve swore loudly behind him as Robin, who’d crashed backwards, pulled him in the opposite direction and in a second their group broke in two. Gareth, Eddie and Dustin going one way, Steve, Robin and Erica another. 

"This isn’t happening." Gareth muttered, words made in a sort of pleading denial as he and Eddie turned the corner and immediately vaulted over the counter of an Orange Julius. “I smoked or drank or did something and this is a hallucination that is not. Actually. Happening.” 

Dustin at least, was smart enough to dive around the counter instead of over it, sliding towards them on his knees. 

Eddie quickly yanked him down to the floor in-between himself and Gareth once he was close enough to grab, one hand going over the hat to shove the kids head down. 

Annoying or not, he was at least several years younger than them, and Gareth could practically feel Eddie’s protective instinct kick in as he kept his hand on Dustin’s head. 

Together they tried to silence their breathing as the guards’ shouting continued on behind them. 

What was worse than their noises though, was when they unexpectedly and suddenly, went silent. 

Gareth’s breath felt far too loud as the stillness gained a suppressive weight, pressing down harshly against him and making it harder and harder to inhale. 

‘Panic attack.’ He realized, thoughts a touch detached. ‘You can’t afford to have a panic attack right now.’ 

Not when it had a high chance of getting them all killed. 

Slowly he moved his own free hand, placing it atop of Eddie’s, fingers gripping down in a way that was no doubt painful. 

Eddie glanced over to him and Gareth thanked every single time he’d smoked way too much weed, because his best friend immediately clocked what was wrong. 

Turned his hand over, so that Gareth could hold onto it atop Dustin’s hat. 

It didn’t help with the knowledge that his very much still drugged cousin and his equally drugged not-girlfriend were also hiding somewhere, or that there was significantly more Russians than there where terrified teenagers (and one--whatever age Erica was.)  

Flashlights cut shapes into the wall overheard, trailing along the Orange Julius menu. Quiet voices covered even quieter footsteps and Gareth had the sudden realization the probability of there being more than one guard carrying a huge gun, was very, very high. 

Worse?

This part of the mall wasn’t that big. There were only so many places to hide, and as such, only so many places to look. 

Death comes for everyone eventually, but Gareth hadn’t exactly expected it to show up before he hit twenty.

Not that they could do anything but wait. Pray to God and the universe and any other higher power he could think of to intervene, head pressed hard against the wood behind him as the small noises drew nearer.

What he hadn’t expected was for said prayers to get answered in the form of a of a fucking car being thrown into the Russian’s like bowling balls. 

“Run!” Dustin shouted, and Gareth wasted absolutely no time in doing just that. 

The only goal on his mind was to find Steve, get out, and then have a very long discussion about what the hell this all was, in that exact order. 

#fun fic facts I kept writing Orange Julius as King Julian #so thats my new fake 80s store #Tagline can be “yay I’m a sacrifice!” #Pre steddie #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #gareth emerson #platonic stobin #gareth is eddies robin #gareth is steves cousin #gareth and steve cousin au #Poor Dustin is mad jelly steve has a cousin that isnt him #we will dig into that later #tw drugs #tw vomit #tw guns #tw panic attack #Steve and robin have already had their scene I just moved it back so he is aware she is a lesbian #I will make it clearer in the next part #Drugged steve has no personal boundaries and homeboy would not at this point consider the stuff wit heddie flirting with Robin ALSO #digs into later #that was gay steve #HELLA gay #the more robin gets to know steve the more shes convinced half the basketball team is queer af #0o0 fanfics #denial is a river in Egypt that Gareth is struggling to swim down

[boywithpinkcarnation]

tbh kinda wanting some jealous!jb like if someone is filtering w her gf OR ESPECIALLY IF IT WAS A ANOTHER GIRL AHH THE DRAMA 🕳️🕳️

alrighty... i am in no way a writer, so this is. going to be bullet point, blurb, word vomit, unedited chaos. additionally, this is gonna be so incredibly self indulgent and catered to me so i hope it suffices for u bug 💝

frankly posting this is very scary for a little tumblr baby like myself, but i feel a need to serve my community 🫡

they style of writing and tbh most headcannons/lore is coming straight from @gingerjolover their blog is lowkey bible and they are the sweetest pookie pie ever. luv u g fr <3 like seriously i recommend you go just read through their masterlist bc this will not compare (not trying to fish here, just being very real as someone who is a like fein for fics as a source of comfort, i fear this will not fully suffice)

rpf content under the cut (no hate if that's not ur jam, just ignore me!), minors dni!!!

refering to jb's parter in this as "gf" and sense i am a selfish selfish girl in this scenerio she is roughly jb's height/a little shorter bc i am and theres no shorter than julien rep ANYWHERE

personally, i see julien as lowkey so possessive in a cutie non toxic way... and sometimes that manifests in some cutie jeleousy that gf can not get enough of. i think it obviously would come out in like flirty enviornments like bars and parties where people are loosey goosey... but sometimes it's just like and about on a normal date. here's a little thought i cooked up for like a more domestic environment jealousy:

aquairum date

the date starts out very normal, classic boyfriend!julien activities are happening

she's making sure y'all are touching at all times. like she'll die if you guys are not physically connected

i'm talking arm around your shoulder, iron grip within intertwined hands, hand in ur jean pocket 16 candles style, hand on the small of your back,,,, but i think eventually (and her favorite, albeit a little awkward) she's hugging you from behind as you walk, almost hanging on you, head perfectly slotted on your shoulder kissing your head and neck at every stop to look at the pretty fish

"jay! look at this one" "real pretty princess" *kisses your head* (its over i can'tttt)

then maybe she leaves you to go get you like a bottle of water or a jacket from the car (idk something to make you more comfortable, very "can't have my baby thirsty/cold" vibes)

then of course, you are looking so cute and so gay, a girl approaches you

you are very focused on the fish bc they are truly just so pretty (can you tell i love fish?) and only look up when mystery girl nudges you

"omg i'm so sorry" "oh uh, you're good" "sorry, i have a bit of a habit for running into pretty girls"

and your're kinda caught off guard bc like... this is an aquarium??

"haha um thank you" "so what are you doing here all alone"

mystery girl is sooo fuck boy coded just go with it

"well um my girlfr-"

julien is back behind you, re koala latching twisting open the water bottle for you and handing it to you, GLARING at this girl

"sorry it took me a second princess, who's this?"

then her grip tightens pulling you even closer to her chest

mystery girl, bless her heart, replies "we just bumped into each other. i was just letting her know how beautiful she was"

oh jb did not like that

she reaches over grabs your jaw tilting your head to the side and back to look at her

"she is beautiful. my sweet girl" and kisses you DEEPLY

and ur blushing because you know jealous/protective/possesive!julien is in the room with us now and kind of giggle out of the kiss

"well then... i should be going, sorry again for running into you"

instead of letting you respond or responding herself jb keeps your face turned and starts kissing all over ur face as you giggle letting mystery girl to just shuffle away.

for the rest of the date she is SO overly affectionate

squeezing ur hips

keeping you so close

kissing your cheek and neck as you tell her about all the fish and animals

"really baby? that's so cool" "my little biologist" "ooo princess what about these?"

it's times like these julien wishes she wore lipstick to leave a mark on your face so everyone knows

she's probably taking you to the gift shop and buying you some random thing for fun because when she's jealous she doesn't take it out on you, she's secure with you and knows you aren't doing anything but being your pretty self

in fact it just makes her softer and more affectionate

when you finally let her drag you out she had you against the car kissing you lovingly and deeply and sets her forehead against yours

"i just love you so much. my sweet girl. my priincess"

"all yours j."

note from c: i hope this is at least semi ok? literally no editing or even proof reading, just love sick delusion.

#i am so in love with her #julien baker x reader #julien baker fanfic #julien baker x fem!reader #boygenius fanfic #boy with the pink carnation writes!

[nemastraea]

Doormat extraordinaire: Andrew Graves is down horrendous for his own sister | Part 1

Or as I like to call it, actual literal word vomit attempting a proper character analysis!

Here's a link to the AO3 version for archive purposes: The doormat extraordinaire has a bit of a romantic streak,

Content warning: This will heavily feature spoilers from Episodes 1 & 2 of The Coffin of Andy and Leyley. Trigger warning: Abuse, cannibalism, child neglect, codependency, harassment, incest, murder, self-harm, and suicide. Disclaimer: I will occasionally reference an extremely normal essay from Sufficient Velocity commenter Leyleyfication (here). It would be a lot easier to read this essay first as Leyleyfication does a pretty good job establishing the following: - Ashley is dependent on Andrew to assure and validate her of her own insecurities, and - The game heavily implies that Andrew wants to fuck his own sister.

Anyway: The Coffin of Andy and Leyley! A game in early access where a pair of siblings are stuck through a seemingly never-ending quarantine together, desperate not to starve to death. When their cultist neighbor dies in a ritual gone wrong, they rationally resort to cannibalism. Fun!

I am definitely going to assume that you read Leyleyfication's extremely normal essay (I am on my knees, begging you to read that). Which is why this essay immediately starts with, "yeah, Andrew definitely wants to fuck his sister" as its baseline.

What I will be adding to that funny little cauldron of fucked up sibling dynamics in a horror visual novel are the following: Andrew's fixation and sexual attraction manifests as his desire to control, dominate, and possess Ashley. And it is framed as a fatalist attraction and the totality of his existence (for worse or even worse).

Because of Tumblr's limit for 30 images per post, though, I'm going to have to split this extremely normal and reasonably lengthy essay into... multiple posts! Yeah! I have no idea how long this will fucking go!

So first things first: how can we tell that Andrew is even attracted to Ashley in the first place?

Nemlei (Devlog 05). Note the hickeys above and below Ashley's choker and her left inner thigh, and Andrew's left hand creeping into her right thigh.

As Leyleyfication points out, the game primes us to believe that Andrew is a pushover and Ashley is his abuser. This occurs in the Steam page as it explicitly says Ashley is "in fact, very bad" and Andrew is a "doormat extraordinaire." Moreover, it's very easy to tell that Ashley is, on some degree, obsessed with Andrew:

She's happy to hear that Julia broke up with Andrew over the phone;

She repeatedly accuses him of finding the Lady from Room 302 attractive and he 'tried anything with her;' and

Her flashback to wanting to punish her friend Nina ("the Bitch in the Box") for crushing on Andrew.

Episode 1, dream and memory. Leyley previously said that Nina should know better than to 'steal from another woman,' referring to herself. The implication that Andy is hers is toyed with after this moment, when she says she'd put Andy back in the box.

The game does prime us to think that Ashley is Andrew's abuser. It also suggests that Ashley projects an unrequited and incestuous love onto Andrew. Before we consider Episode 2's narrative, Episode 1 gives the initial impression that if Andrew comes to reciprocate her feelings, it's more of a reaction and subsuming to her will. That it may not be something he wants for himself and independent of Ashley's manipulation.

But again, I do believe Andrew wants to fuck Ashley. And always has been. He just frequently vacillate between 'subtle' and 'really fucking obvious' tells that completely take advantage of the game's third person limited POV.

Keep in mind that both Andrew and Ashley are extremely unreliable narrators. We aren't going to get information they personally do not care about and that is on top of our own choices as the player.

(A digressive example: you will not learn that the founder and CEO of Toxisoda's company was a former surgeon unless you interact with the television in Andrew's Episode 2 dream and memory of their blood oath. Otherwise, it neatly ties into the surgeon that Mrs. Graves conveniently says she was directed to regarding the siblings' quarantine in the main story.)

When it's really fucking obvious

When you play as Andrew in Episode 2, his post-dinner argument with Ashley carefully frames them both. They are cramped in the foreground and Andrew's left arm is conveniently blocked by Ashley and the kitchen knife, as seen here.

Episode 2, common route. Prior to this, you can interact with Mrs. Graves for her to pointedly comment on the siblings being inseparable.

At this point in the game, their physical closeness is something we're used to by now. After all, we've already seen Ashley on his lap at least twice; Andrew slept in her bed in Episode 1; and Ashley confirmed they've shared the same motel bed multiple times in the one-week interim between Episodes 1 & 2.

But the game abruptly shifts to Mrs. Graves' POV when she enters the scene and not only do we see the two as physically close, but we notice a few more details.

Episode 2, common route. The first picture transitions from Andrew's POV to Mrs. Graves as it introduces us to her entering the scene.

The contrast of how spacious the kitchen is from Mrs. Graves' POV to Andrew's cramped POV is obvious. More importantly, Andrew's fingers loop through Ashley's belt loops when the two are huddled together. When Mrs. Graves clears her throat, the two don't really separate.

Ashley pivots on her left foot so that her body is turned to their mother, not Andrew, but she doesn't step away from him. Andrew, meanwhile, recoils from Ashley and withdraws his hand. But he isn't turning his body to face their mother like Ashley does here. His attention, at least in this moment, is still towards Ashley (and, yanno, the sink).

Episode 2, common route. Two things to consider in the second picture: Andrew hides Ashley's bite mark on his cheek with his left sleeve and he conveniently moves the pillow from behind him to his front.

The 'tell' isn't so much as the two are unusually physically close. Again, we're used to that by now. But it's how the two siblings react whenever Mrs. Graves comes into the picture. Ashley doesn't really give a fuck about whether or not people assume the worst of her or even her intentions regarding Andrew. To Ashley, their proximity is normal and anyone who sees that as a problem is not worth an explanation or reason.

But Andrew is at least subconsciously aware it's 'not normal.' As far as these moments are concerned, Andrew instinctively tries to do damage control by either putting space between them or keeping his hands occupied so they aren't visibly touching Ashley. Still, he either does not mind or actively appreciates his physical closeness with Ashley.

When it's really fucking obvious (but only in hindsight)

In Episode 1, Ashley passes out after trying to clean up after the apartment. Regardless of her passing out in the living room, the bathroom, or their parents' room, she will wake up on the couch with her head pillowed by Andrew's lap.

Episode 1, Ashley's POV. Andrew's hands often hover over Ashley's head, but more than that—

I personally didn't notice this until I replayed Episode 1, when I basically have the hindsight of Andrew's fixation with hair. But yes, his fingers idly twirl through the ends of Ashley's hair as they watch TV. It's implied that Andrew can and will do this when Ashley pillows his lap, awake or asleep. He does not recoil from it when Ashley does wake up and later on, in Episode 2, even continues to brush it from her face.

Episode 2, common route. Ashley fell asleep at the passenger seat, so Andrew had to have transferred her to the back seat to pillow her head again. Though, technically, she's more cramped at the back seat than if he'd just reclined the passenger seat.

So far, we've seen that Andrew has a natural tendency to not only be physically close to Ashley, but to hover over her personal space and be in constant and direct contact with her. Whether it's by having her head on his lap, twirling her hair through his fingers, or even constantly grabbing her by the head in various states of comfort, playfulness, or outright threat (but let's put a pin on that for now).

The weight behind this candid contact shifts when Episode 2 draws a pretty explicit parallel between Julia and Ashley. Assuming that you interacted with Julia's landline and heard Ashley's voicemails, you know (and Andrew knows) that Ashley draws that connection herself:

DO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME!? Just because you can fuck him and I can't? You think that's love?! Are you fucking delusional?? Cumdumpsters like you are just that. He will never love you. Not like he loves me. I am the only one. I am everything. I am the secrets you'll never hear. When he lies in bed at night, and when he needs someone to hold on to... It's not you he seeks out. It is me.

Episode 2, common route. Andrew's dream and vision implies that Andrew's heard these voicemails before.

That connection extends to the hair contact as well, as Andrew goes in to hug Julia, cards his hand through her hair and requests she tie her hair up.

Episode 2, common route. Andrew's dream and memory of Julia when they're older. From the use of Andrew's present-age portrait, suggests is closer to the timeline of the game's events than his and Ashley's memories as Andy and Leyley.

From this moment, we can have one of two assumptions: either Andrew wants Julia's (black) hair put up like Ashley's, or Ashley caught onto Andrew's hair kink and puts her hair up to imitate it.

Regardless, we infer the following:

Andrew teases affection through touching and even pulling on one's hair.

His fixation on ponytails and pulling on them does not exclude his own sister. It still stands and without reservation, perhaps more explicitly since he can do it so candidly, as we saw before.

The last of that Julia-Ashley parallel is self-contained within Episode 2. But only if you end up in the Burial route regardless of Ashley's platonic or incestuous vision.

Episode 2, common route (first picture) and Burial route (second picture). It's worth pointing out that Andrew is actually disinterested and moody during his conversation with Julia, and only perks up when he mentions Ashley or feigns care for Julia (since he extends his care of Ashley to her as well).

The game ends up drawing parallels on how Andrew treats Ashley, for better or for worse, with his ex (which is definitely worse, poor Julia). In doing so, the game blurs the lines between romantic affection for Julia and 'platonic and familial' affection for Ashley.

Y'all, this isn't even getting into how Andrew respectfully gives his parents space and only crowds them when he threatens them with his cleaver. In his mind, Ashley and Julia are in that same space of physical and romantic displays of affection; something he reserves only for them (only without reservation for Ashley) that does not extend to anyone else. His ex-girlfriend, and his sister. Shit's wild.

When it's obvious BUT it's violent!

That isn't to say that his hair fixation (hair kink?) is completely innocuous, though, as it rears its ugly head (pun unintended) in Decay. Which is what that previous pin was for! Yay!

You end up in the Decay route if Ashley doesn't trust Andrew with keeping an eye on their parents. Here, Ashley sleeps on their parents' bed by herself and has an alarming vision: an unknown party chases after her through the in-between and when they catch up to her, it's Andrew. Ashley has nowhere to run and Andrew eventually grabs her and threatens to kill her.

Whether or not Ashley can defend herself depends on Andrew expending all of her gun's ammo when he deals with the hitman, or not. But that outcome divergence will matter much, much later (so that's another pin for us to come back to).

The sequence of events actually mirrors the way the siblings ambush the Lady from Room 302 back in Episode 1. There, Andrew closes in on her and grabs the Lady by her wrist and uses his front to pin and restrain her. With his cleaver to her throat, the Lady is completely at his mercy.

Episode 1 & 2, common route (first picture) and Decay route (second, third, and fourth pictures). Note that Andrew restrains the Lady from Room 302 by the wrist while with Ashley, by her hair.

Andrew asserts control of the person and the situation through violence. Whether it's by killing them (the wardens) or by threatening physical violence (the Lady from Room 302 and Ashley). It's always on the table for him. As Leyleyfication puts it, "He's so calculated in how he approaches his use of violence [here]."

That violence includes Ashley. It's always on the table where Ashley's concerned. The game even juxtaposes when Andrew threatens violence and physical assault 'playfully' versus when he's seriously out for blood:

When you interact with the wall of call girls' numbers and Ashley jokes about leaving her number on the wall, Andrew 'jokingly' threatens to backhand her for even thinking about it.

When you interact with their parents' latched window for a second time, Andrew 'teases' slapping Ashley if she doesn't find a way to open it. (Ashley jokingly asks if it's on her ass or at her face, and assumes it must be the face when Andrew says she'll have to find out.)

The two other times that Andrew exerts violence against Ashley are both in Episode 1 & 2. We can remember when that happens in Episode 1, when Andrew's had it with Ashley's fits and threatens to kill her:

Episode 1, common route. Y'all, Andrew was choking her hard enough for his grip to bruise.

It happens again in Decay when he confronts Ashley about repeatedly calling him Andy and therefore, breaking the promise he coerced her into from Episode 1.

Episode 2, Decay route. Another thing to keep in mind is that Andrew's outburst is preceded by Ashley prodding him about his current state and insisting that Andrew was fine with 'Andy' during their home invasion.

In Episode 1, Andrew resorts to harming Ashley because he's fucking had it with her accusing him repeatedly of trying anything with the Lady from 302 and, in her eyes, his 'infidelity.' Where she accuses Andrew of not loving her enough that if his eye catches another girl, he'd leave her behind or flip on her. In Episode 2, she's poking and prodding on his boundaries on 'Andy' and whether or not, once again, he's with her on their now-committed life of joint crime.

If I can give another example, it happens in Andrew's common route memory of Nina's death and his blood oath with Leyley.

Episode 2, common route. Prior to this, Andy expresses immense exasperation at Leyley's tantrums over him 'thinking about that bitch again.' When he goes to grab the kitchen knife, cleans it, and returns to Leyley on his bed—he's briefly considering killing her.

Andrew threatens Ashley violently whenever he intends to confront her on her perceived brattiness, for lack of a better word. And keep Leyleyfication's essay segment on Ashley's insecurities and need for Andrew's validation in mind here—when Ashley does this, she wants and even needs Andrew to comfort her. But her aggression treads Andrew's patience and really, his tolerance of her behavior.

When Ashley's anger, clinging behavior, insecurities, and possessiveness of Andrew slips his control and tolerance, he resorts to violence to coerce or even dominate her.

I think (or hope, if it's clear enough) it reinforces what Leyleyfication points out:

The truth of the matter is, Ashley can only make Andrew do anything because he lets her. I don't mean in the sense that I'm saying abuse victims let their abusers emotionally abuse them, I mean in the sense that he is clearly considering his options on the table and choosing to discard those that could stop her, or bring an end to any of this.

It also reflects on another aspect of why Andrew resorts to violence: in all three situations, Andrew remarks on Ashley's behavior and her sake. If she acts up again once they're out of the apartment, it'll cause trouble for him while they're evading authorities. If she's going to call him Andy from hereon out, what's the point of running away with her. If she expects him to leverage keeping 'her secret,' he won't because it's for her sake.

Andrew rationalizes his attempt to control of Ashley's behavior as being for her sake. But really, isn't it him confining her behavior to something he can tolerate and personally handle?

I'd also like to point out that Andrew admits that he noticed Ashley push for calling him 'Andy' during the home invasion, and he did not argue with her on it while they held their parents hostage and readied to sacrifice them. We can infer that when Andrew calculates his use of violence, that can also factor when, where, and how he exerts it.

--

Well, that's where I can reasonably end this half of my word vomit! Now, onwards, to part 2!

#lia's conspiracy board #The Coffin of Andy and Leyley #TCOAAL: Andrew Graves #TCOAAL: Ashley Graves #ship: coffincest #character analysis

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 18, Unread - Pt. 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language,

Word Count:  970

Previously On...: Bucky made all kinds of sweet suggestions for your future together.

A/N: Almost there...

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when I update, please enable notifications from my Blog page!

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43

Tumblr will not let me directly tag the following: @marcswife21 @erelierraceala @jupiter-107 @doublejeon @hiqhkey @unaxv @brookeleclerc]

After Bucky had kissed you goodbye and left for his debrief, you set about getting ready for your day. You showered and brushed your teeth, pleasantly noticing that you hadn’t vomited since last night. Maybe good cock was the cure you’d needed all this time, you thought with a laugh.

You stripped and remade your bed because, though you knew you’d probably just be getting it filthy again as soon as Bucky was back, you weren’t excited about getting back into cold, damp sheets. Maybe you should invest in one of those absorbent sex blankets you’d read about online. You could buy one for your new place!

That thought led you to open up Zillow on your laptop to browse available apartments in the general area. You didn’t want to move too far away; you both still needed to be at the Tower for work, after all. You had to admit, now that you were giving it some real thought, the idea excited you. Not just because you wanted to move in with Bucky, but because you’d be creating, for the first time in your entire life, a home of your very own, without feeling beholden to anyone for it, whether out of love or a sense of obligation. The very notion was elating. 

You were browsing through some gorgeous but ridiculously overpriced condos when you heard a phone buzz. You glanced at your screen, but it was black. Frowning, you glanced around and noticed Bucky’s cell sitting on one of your bedside tables. He must have forgotten it before he left for his meeting.

You walked over to it and glanced at the screen. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the newly received message from Sam that caught your attention. It was the notification below it, informing Bucky that he had one new text message from ‘Vix <3.’

That’s not possible, you thought as you picked up the phone. I blocked her number, myself. There’s no way she should be able to text him. Against your better judgment, you typed in your birthday to unlock his phone. Biting your lip, a sudden surge of anxiety flooding your system, you navigated to his SMS app and opened up his thread with Jade. 

Your stomach soured and your blood turned to ice as you scrolled up, reading the contents of the thread. This couldn’t be possible. He wouldn’t– but yet, there it was, staring you right in the face. Fighting back a wave of nausea, you ran to the bathroom and vomited, this time having nothing to do with your stomach bug and everything to do with your heart breaking. 

You were dreaming. You had to be dreaming. But no. You read through the thread again and again, and again. There was no mistaking it. You slid down the bathroom wall to the floor, clutching the phone to your chest, but no tears came.

No, instead of falling apart, you felt your walls come back up, going so high that they merged together above you, encasing you in a dome of icy rage. Instead of sadness, you felt resolve. He had lied to your face and played you for a fool. Well, it had been for the last time. There was no coming back from this. Not ever. You’d give him no more chances to betray you. 

You were a fucking fool to have believed his pretty lies, his hollow promises. An idiot for constantly forgiving him, when it was clear, now, that he had never really loved you. Oh, he may have thought he did. But this… what you had just seen evidence of– this was not love. 

With a shaking breath, you stood up. You took screenshots of every incriminating text and sent them to yourself. You needed to move quickly so you were finished before he got back. Running to your computer, you printed out multiple copies of the screenshots then, you meticulously went through your room, collecting everything of Bucky’s that had migrated across the hall from his room to yours over the course of your relationship and crammed it all into a box. 

You found one of his precious knives under the bed, and thought about throwing it out the window, but then an idea struck you. Taking the knife, the box of stuff, and a copy of the screenshots, you opened your door and walked across the hall. You unceremoniously dumped the contents of the box into a heap in front of Bucky’s door, then, using all of your strength, rammed the knife through the wooden door, pinning the screenshots in place. Let him run face-first into the evidence of his betrayal.

Running back into your room, you grabbed your go-bag, tossing some essentials in it. You couldn’t stay in this room, not right now, after everything that had happened last night and this morning. Besides, it would be too easy for him to find you here. You needed to go somewhere where he wouldn’t think to look for you. You didn’t trust yourself right now not to claw his eyes out if you saw him. Though lord knows he would fucking deserve it.

Before you left your room, you called out to FRIDAY. “Lock my door behind me, and under no circumstances are you to let Sergeant Barnes into my room,” you told the AI.

“Yes, Ms. (Y/L/N),” she responded.

“Oh, and FRIDAY? One more thing,” you added, “if Sergeant Barnes asks where I am, tell him ‘fucking dead to him.”

It was sickening how cheerfully the AI responded to your depressing command, promising that she would deliver the message to him, should he inquire. 

With a final look around, and a cage of ice around your heart, you closed the door to your room, to your love for Bucky, and you didn’t look back.

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes #mcu bucky barnes #james barnes

[the-unaligned]

Bravern episode 8 spoilers

EP 8 Analysis

This is going to be super incoherent and is mostly just going to be me rambling but idc, I need to post this somewhere so it’s not ruminating in my head until I assault some random human with word vomit

So this is mostly going to be focus on episode 8 but I will touch back on previous episodes for references.

Anyways Episode 8 basically just confirmed the “Bravern is Smith” theory and I am so hype

What is the “Bravern is Smith” theory?

So the Bravern is Smith theory is a theory that.. well.. Bravern and Lewis Smith are the same person.

I’m not sure who started it but (I think) it started when the opening showed for the first time and we got to the scene of Smith’s arm becoming Bravern’s. From there it spiraled, more and more evidence pointing towards it, such as: Bravern knowing A LOT about Smith, Bravern making a lot of human pop culture references and speaking English interchangeably with Japanese (Smith does this too), Bravern being a super robot (Smith is a massive Super robot nerd) and a ton of other things

Episode 8:

Now we get into why I’m finally making a post about this, I’ve been following along with this theory since episode 2 and have been taking my notes on it but I never bothered posting about it anywhere

Why now?

Because episode 8 might’ve just confirmed it.

Let’s start with the opening:

So this right here is the catalyst that started this all, Smith’s arm turning into Bravern’s. Now, we knew all that, but the one thing we never knew until now was “who tf is glowy bitch”

Well,

I think is Knuth

“But why her? She looks nothing like the silhouette”

Look here, she has plates of armor that highly resemble two pairs of wings. Who else has two pairs of wings? The silhouette. Same placement and everything. I think the silhouette is meant to be vague, as to not tip the viewer off right away that the silhouette is a deathdrive.

We’ll come back to this later, I need to talk about Bravern’s lines during this episode.

I’m not entirely sure how to explain it but this line will be important later, for now it’s just more Super Robot inspirational speech

Right here is the important line, the title of the episode (which is what tipped me and a lot of other people off to Smith dying) and the last thing Bravern says to him. Now normally when entering a battlefield, you’d tell your comrade “Good luck”, “Until we meet again” makes it seem like someone will die, this is a line usually used when you’re not sure when you’ll see someone again. Bravern used this because he knew what was going to happen to Smith, and either he can’t stop it, or he doesn’t want to.

Bravern knows because he has gone through this before, as Smith.

That is likely why he told Smith to “save as many people as he can”, likely because when he went through this, a lot of people died

(This ties into my own branch of the theory where Bravern has already gone through all of this before and went back in time to change the outcome)

Now during the fight, Bravern isn’t really focused, he’s taking hits he’d normally be able to dodge and isn’t really rushing like he usually does. I think it’s because he’s trying to stall, trying to keep Isami away from Knuth and Smith so their fight can happen, either that or he’s distracted due to knowing what’s happening not that far away (or it could be both)

Before we get to this next part I wanna point out a quote I noticed during the episode from Knuth. I can’t find it just by scrolling and I’d rewatch the full episode to find it but Tumblr is lagging like hell and burning through my battery so I can’t

At one point Knuth mentioned something about fusing with Smith, this might mean that Knuth’s body ends up being the base for Bravern, but im still not 100% sure about that, just thought I’d add that. If she is the base and Bravern did in fact go back in time, this would make sense as Knuth had mentioned that she had gone back in time a few times

Now we get to focus on the important part of the episode, Smith’s death. Let’s just start listing off things to pay attention to.

(I reached the photo limit oops)

- Smith is humming his own theme song as he charges Knuth, Bravern sings his own theme song and blasts it whenever he fights

- He straight up says “Brave Slash” as he strikes Knuth

-Smith talks DIRECTLY INTO ISAMI’S MIND and says the following quote: “Isami. Isami. Brave. Brave… Bang.” And we all know why that’s important, the title of the show is literally “Bang Brave Bang Bravern”

There are still some questions, like “how was Smith able to use telepathy?” “How exactly is Bravern created?” “Is Bravern truly a fusion between Smith and Knuth?”

I know this probably makes zero sense but I need to get this out somewhere

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk (holy shit it’s so laggy)

Edit: I forgot to mention it but the foreshadowing for Smith’s death was so obvious, legit in his introduction Isami legit goes “You’re dead, the dead don’t talk” so uhh called it lmao

#bang brave bang bravern #bravern spoilers #Bravern #idk how to tag this

[sleepydcpeach]

just unfair (1) | barry allen⚡

A//N - I didn't think I'd have so much to write about this so this will be a series. My first piece, I have written on Tumblr before but not much. Kinda getting back into the swing of things

warnings are posted for all chapters to come so this chapter is only a few small warnings, mostly angst

“Let me guess, you didn’t wait for orders again and got yourself hurt.” The man in the red suit flashed you a half-hearted smile as he clutched at his side. It seemed to always be the same story with Barry. Finding some way to end up on your table with stitches, bandages, burn cream, whatever it was he seemed to be a target quite often. 

“This is going to hurt a bit, I need to dress your ribs.” You explained as he leaned back, his suit torn and his skin ripped. 

“Actually, this time, it was something more along the lines of a tree got in my way and trying to go around it and not through it was a lot harder to do than I thought.” You winced at the thought of the impact that would’ve occurred. You began to dab at the wound with warm saline and a towel. 

Listening to him go on and on like always, his ramblings were something you had grown accustomed to over the months of knowing Barry. 

“Next time you should watch out and listen to me, you’re no help if you’re dead.” Bruce had walked in and made himself known by critisising his squad member. 

“How else was I supposed to get her attention.” He grinned at you before screwing his eyes shut in pain at the motion of you cleaning his wound. You shook your head in disapproval but couldn’t hide the smirk that creeped across your lips. 

“Get your head on right, before someone gets hurt.” Bruce turned and stormed out, you wanted to say something but bit your lips in an attempt to keep your opinion to yourself. 

“Just say it.” Barry broke the awkward silence as he recognised the same expression you always had on your face. 

“Say what?” You shrugged as you began placing the dressing on his wound, being very gentle and careful not to press on it. 

“You can’t hide it doll, I can see it on your face every time I’m in here with you. You think I’m being reckless.” He said it all actually, it just didn’t feel like it was your place to say that to him. 

“When you say it like that you make me sound like I’m the bad guy. I just think, maybe you should be more considerate about how you do things. I can’t help but wonder when the day you come back half dead will be. Or if you even come back at all.” Your heart began to pound against your ribs, anxiety running high as word vomit came out. 

“Tell me how you really feel doll.” He teased as he sat up, adjusting himself so slightly in that skin-tight suit. You mentally flogged yourself for taking notice of something dirty in this moment. 

“I’m sorry, I just care about you all and don’t want to see anyone get badly hurt. There’s only so much I can do.” You began cleaning your bench, placing his dirty, bloody rags in the bin and steralising your workspace. 

Barry always saw the envy you had in your eyes for everyone, their powers and abilities to save the world. He could always tell how badly you wanted to be able to do what they do, but he was thankful you didn’t. The idea of you having powers and at potential risk to lose your life saving someone, he hated to even think it but he was selfish enough to be glad you didn’t. You were just the Justice League nurse. 

“So aftercare doc, should I be taking anything? Avoiding anything?”

“Like you even listen to me anyways. No working out, no running at supersonic speed, and make sure you’re careful getting that dressing wet and cleaning it. I’d recommend baths instead of showers to avoid too much exposure to oxygen.” 

“Only if you join me.” The pink tint on your cheeks was your weakness, you could never hide your embarrassment, your thoughts. Barry walked out, being very careful not to strain himself too much as he made his way to his room. 

You allowed yourself to take a minute and catch your breath, your thighs beginning to gather sweat and arousal as they rubbed together in slight desperation. The thought of Barry taking a hot bath with you, bodies pressed against one another. You needed to stop yourself from letting your imagination take it further. 

“Hey doc, how was he?” Canary was always hanging around you, she was the only one who made you feel better on your bad days, besides Barry. She also knew right away when you started to fall for him, constantly finding ways to put you two together. Christmas parties, New Years, she even got you guys to be each others New Years kiss one year but it was nothing crazy. 

“Same old flirt, I gotta stop letting him do it. It just eggs me on to like him more.” You double washed your hands after removing your gloves, feeling squeaky clean again and finally back to a clean sterile area. 

“You need to do something to show him you’re interested as well. Like the same idea I’ve been suggesting for months now.” You rolled your eyes at her idea, it was too risky, too much on the line for you. It was enough to ruin everything between you and Barry and you weren’t sure what that would mean for your job either. 

“I’m just saying, some lingerie, some dirty music, handcuffs—” You bolted towards the door, slamming it shut in attempt to stop any conversation reaching anyone’s ears. Canary wasn’t exactly the quietest person when it came to these conversations. 

“Everyone knows about it, he isn’t this way with the others. You’ve seen it yourself, he has a thing for you.” 

“I don’t want it to just be a thing Canary! I need to know there’s more there than just want, need and lust. Otherwise what is the point?” You didn’t like raising your voice but it couldn’t be helped sometimes. 

The intercom beeped and Bruce’s voice was heard overhead. 

“Dinner is ready.” You and Canary left without another word to each other, but your eyes said it all. 

Dinner flew by quickly, everyone conversing about their recent victory in battle, sharing their personal hits and wins was something you always enjoyed listening too. It made you feel like you were there as well with them. You had requested to come with them in field to take care of them if they ever got injured but Bruce and Superman didn’t like that idea. 

Everyone was at the table eating but Barry hadn’t come down yet, you almost felt like he was avoiding you. But you chose to bury that feeling deep down. 

“Hey doc, why don’t you take Barry’s dinner to him. He’s probably caught up watching something.” Hal smirked at you, everyone seemed to be away of your feelings for him and took advantage of embarrassing you when they could. Canary threw her breadroll at Hal to shut him up. You paid no attention and grabbed the plate of almost cold food now, walking down the corridor to his room and knocking lightly. 

The door opened before you finish knocking, Barry standing before you with dripping wet hair. His sweats hung loosely around his waist, a small blonde trail of hair from his navel sneaking under the band of his sweats. It wasn’t the first time you had caught him like this, but he seemed to enjoy torturing you with it. You audibly gulped at the sight, a fresh bandage wrapped around his torso. 

“Well took you long enough.” He smirked, allowing you to step into his room and watching you place his food down on his nightstand. You avoided any eye contact with him, worried he’d see right through you. 

“I thought you might be hungry. It’s important you rest and fuel your body in order to get better. You won’t be going back into the field until you’ve recovered to my standard. When I give you clearance then you can return.” You watched his brows furrow as his door slammed shut. 

“I think in this case I don’t think you have that authority to decide that dollface.” You cringed but melted at his pet name he loved to call you. It was better than everyone calling you doc. You weren’t really a doctor, you were technically a nurse but you had become their full time medic after Bruce found you on the streets years ago. 

It was a tough time but you managed to fight through it all and get to a great place in life where you weren’t anxious or fearing about where your next meal would come from, where you would sleep for the night. 

“Actually I spoke with Bruce and he agreed with me. So if you have an issue then you can take it up with him. You’re not wriggling out of this one Flash.” You rarely used his hero name, it only happened when having a professional conversation with him and it seemed appropriate to do so. 

You didn’t notice the way he had slinked closer to you in the moments of discussion, the way your back had met the wall without a thought as he cornered you. His frame was much larger than the average guy you’d know, muscles and veins covered his body from head to toe, it only made you think about what was hidden behind those pants. 

You needed to get your mind out of the gutter, but the way he was closing in on you made both your heartbeats throb in sync. 

“I’ll make you a deal doll, you sleep in my bed with me for a week while I recover and I won’t even touch my suit.” You almost jumped up and down with glee screaming yes over and over again but you didn’t want to seem eager nor were you sure he was being serious. It was always hard to tell with Barry. 

“A week? You won’t be back on your feet for at least 3 weeks.”

“3 weeks it is then. What do you say doll? Deal?” He leaned against the wall, one arm holding him up on his good side as he flashed you the toothiest grin he possibly could. Eyes slightly darkening as they searched for your answer in your eyes. 

“Okay but we need some ground rules first.” You weren’t sure what he was trying to do or if you did know and just didn’t want to get too far ahead of yourself. 

“Number one, you have to be naked.”

“What!?” You covered your mouth at your own outburst, worried someone might overhear. 

“Thems the rules dollface, I sleep naked all the time. Think of it as winter training, your body regulates more heat from being naked.” You rolled your eyes, of course he was mansplaining health advice to the nurse. You moved around him, careful not to bump him and taking a seat on his bed. It felt weird, you were rarely ever in his room. Not for this long anyways unless he had run off with something of yours to stir you up. 

“Rules, clothes are always to remain on. Two, pillow wall is not to be crossed.” 

“Pillow wall?” He raised a brow, arms crossing his chest and his arms bulging, you wanted to wrap your legs around him and have him fuck you against the wall until you forgot your own name. 

“Yes a pillow wall. I don’t like people in my space. Three, lights out at ten. Ten-thirty at the latest. I am on a very strict routine. Any questions?” You pointed your finger at him in a demanding manner, hoping your serious face wouldn’t faulter. 

“How clothed is clothed?” You threw a pillow at him in frustration before storming out of his room, hearing his laugh boom down the hallway after you. 

‘Week One’

As promised you held up your end of the deal with Barry, agreeing to sleep in his bed with him for the next 21 days when he was deemed fit. You weren’t sure why you agreed to it, well that wasn’t true. You agreed because this was the first time you felt you had a chance to find out how he really felt about you besdies the harmless flirting and random compliments. 

You made your welcome known, bringing in your own pillows even though he argued his pillows were better. You just knew he didn’t like the pink crowding his room. 

“Hey this is what you agreed to.” Was all you argued when he continued to complain about his room now being 80% pink. You had made yourself at home, and you knew he already regretted it. After spending most of your day moving everything into his room and bathroom you finally got to relax. Laying down on the soft mattress that soothed your sore back, you almost forgot he was laying right next to you. 

“So should we talk bathroom schedule? Because this bathroom doesn’t lock, so if you’re taking too long in there and I need to be, you’re gonna be in for a treat.” You tried not to shade pink at the thought of his cock being pulled out right in front of you. Even if it wasn’t for the reason you wanted. 

“I’ll try not to hog the bathroom, but please knock at least to give me time to either run out or cover my eyes. I don’t need to be scarred by your micropenis.” You giggled as you watched his jaw drop. 

“I’ll have you know that I’m very well endowed. Don’t make me whip it out just for you doll.” You so badly wanted him to pull it out, you tried to think of something else to change the subject. 

“So your wound will need to be redressed every two days after this week and then after the next week we’ll see how it goes without a dressing and go from there. It needs a bit of exposure to help it heal. It shouldn’t be too bad though.” You wanted to move on and just let yourself settle for a bit, still feeling on edge about laying in the same bed as Barry. 

“Sounds good doll, you feel like watching a movie? Nothing girly, but I’ll let you pick. And I’ll fix us some snacks—ugh.” You were quick to stop Barry from getting up, grabbing hold of his bicep and stomach to hold him and slowly pull him back down to the comfort of his pillows. 

“Okay big guy, you definitely need to be taking it easy. I’ll fix us some snacks, and get you something for the pain as well. Wait here and pick something, but it has to be a romcom at least.” His gleeful smile turned into a pouty face at your request for a movie. You made your way to the kitchen, looking through drawers and cupboards to see what was available to eat. Something carb loaded and full of sugar or salt. 

“Day one, boy are you guys gonna be annoying to live with for the next few weeks.” You didn’t notice Hal standing there with Martian and Kendra eyeing you down as you happily waddled into the kitchen. 

“Annoying how?” 

“Like I wanna hear you two fucking all the time. My room is right next to his, the last thing I need to hear is ‘keep thrusting your micropenis in me’ all night.” You knew Hal was just trying to get everyone to laugh at him and pick on you. It made you a little stung actually that he was poking fun at Barry, that was your right only. 

“Actually I think you’d hear something a bit more along the lines of ‘oh fuck! Oh fuck! Yes right there Barry! Fuck! Fuck me harder Barry, fuck me just like that please! I’m cumming! I’m cumming—”

“Whose coming?” You jumped at Barry’s voice from behind you, yelping as you slammed your back against the fridge. 

“What are you doing up? You need to be resting.” You growled as you got up in his space, pointing your finger at him in a demanding manner. 

“Well it wasn’t fair that the person you were pretending to fuck wasn’t in the room. So thought I’d come join and see what I’m in for.” You grabbed the band of his pants, pulling him out of the room and back to his own bed. 

“I loved hearing you scream my name by the way, that’s something I’d only ever dreamed of.” You wanted to slap him, you had never been so humiliated before. Your eyes actually began burning from losing sensation and tears beginning to brim. You let go of Barry, standing with your back facing him and slightly hunched over. It went quiet, really quiet. He stopped talking when he noticed you weren’t moving or reacting anymore. 

“Dollface I didn’t—I wasn’t trying to make you upset. I thought we were kidding around. I wouldn’t actually expect anything from you just cause we are sharing a bed.” The silence was louder than anything you’d heard. You felt him touch your shoulder, he had never seen you cry before. Not directly, instead of allowing him to apologuse and comfort you, you chose to lock yourself in your office. 

Barry knew he could’ve stopped you from doing so, his ability to outrun you his advantage. But he didn’t want to hurt you more than he already had. 

You had been hidden in your office for majority of the day, Barry had tried knocking and getting you to come out but when he got no response chose to leave you alone. Everyone tried, Canary, Martian, even Bruce when he got back from his mission. When they realised they weren’t going to get you out of there they decided to wait it out. 

“She’s been in there all day, no food. Nothing. I don’t know what to do.” 

“Have you thought maybe using that thick head of yours to-I don’t know-apologise sincerely? Maybe pour your heart out a little so she can see you’re vulnerable.” 

“Vulnerable?” Kendra rolled her eyes, feeling like she was talking to a brick wall she gestured for him to leave and go try you again. 

You had been reorganising your drawers and cabinets, something that just made you feel a bit better when things were tough. Barry knocked on your door once again, waiting for a minute to hopefully hear your voice or at least the lock click. 

“Doll…please let me in. I really just want you to know, I care about you. I appreciate you and I never meant to make you feel humiliated or bad about what I said. It wasn’t right. I love you like you’re my own blood you know?” His own blood. He felt about you the way he would a sister, or a mother. Not a potential lover, a potential girlfriend or wife even. It hurt, it really did but you didn’t want to keep punishing him. 

You clicked the door, opening it and he practically threw himself onto you. Arms so big and snug, it made you feel safe and warm. His nose pressed against your neck, inhaling your scent and releasing a sigh of relief. You couldn’t not forgive him, but you were hesistant about sharing a bed with him now that nothing would ever come of it. 

But maybe this was your chance to change his mind about you. So it would seem that Canary’s idea might just work after all. 

#the flash smut #barry allen smut #redhood smut #dc smut #dc #dc comics #green arrow smut #the flash #barry allen #barry allen angst #barry allen fluff #dc angst #redhood angst #nightwing smut #nightwing #batman #dc universe #dcu #jason todd #bruce wayne #dick Grayson smut #dick Grayson angst #arkham knights dick grayson smut #Tim drake #justice league #justice league smut #black canary #dc women

[rouzuchan]

(Your) Nuisance

𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈(𝐬): Yuken Odajima x Reader (ʏᴏᴜ/ʏᴏᴜʀ; ꜱʜᴇ/ʜᴇʀ) 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: drabble; fluff 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔: female reader; blurbs reused from this piece of work I made

“Speak your peace, Odajima-san. You can’t stay here forever” You said, not tearing your eyes off your book. 

Yuken had his arms crossed, leaning against the clinic’s door frame with a relaxed smirk on his face. He chortled, strutting towards you. “C’mon [Name]-chan! What excuse should I have to visit my favorite medic of Housen?”

His breath tickled your neck, catching his bleach-blonde hair in the corner of your eye. “Correction: Your only medic of Housen.” You forcefully pushed his nose back into his nasal bone, his tuts of pain falling onto deaf ears when you walked towards the windows. 

You had a strict rule as Housen’s most esteemed medic: unless you were Sachio, only visit when injured or in an emergency. The clinic stood at the corners of the campus, away from all the rough housing and fights. It was your safe haven to protect you while you were still paying off a debt Sachio held above your head when needed.

But, his annoying and, the admittingly, handsome nuisance of an adviser didn’t heed your rule at all. 

After his intervention, you resumed your productive reading session, flipping two pages before a chin rested above your shoulder, two slithering hands resting themselves on your belly. 

You bit the inside of your lip, trying to ignore his presence and warmth. He hummed and ‘awed’ reading through the chapter. You highly doubt he was absorbing 80% of it. “Even in her free time, [Name]-chan is still prolific as always.”

You sighed, “You’re hiding from Jinkawa again, are you?”

“Yup” He admitted, snuggling closer. 

Routine as always.

Even when you give off the demeanor, liking and falling for Yuken Odajima wasn’t a hard assignment. No matter how much you admit you enjoyed solitary, his personality brightens your mundane days, even more than the company of that favorite scene from a book. 

In the serene silence, a loud, growling shout of Yuken’s name that vibrated through the halls. 

“That’s my cue.” With one last squeeze, let go of your waist and scrammed outside. Your eyes lingered where he stood before.

And even more so hard to admit, knowing you were always on his mind gave you… assurance. Even amid conflict, he’ll always opt to call you and rant about Housen’s victory, while Sawamura in the background tells him to tone down his sugary words.

Yuken Odajima was that utterly entangled in your life, sneaking in while keeping your heart captive from anyone who dared. 

Your eyebrows creased when Yuken returned, panting as he gently crashed his chapped lips into yours, his head angled slightly for his glasses not poke you. ‘What the…’ Your brain shuts down for that one second. 

He pulled away, a cheeky yet giddy smile painting his face. He saluted you and started to run off, not missing a zooming Jinkawa from your doorway.

A nuisance indeed. 

Dedicated to the biggest Yuken girly on HiGH&LOW Tumblr @star2fishmeg 😘 I said I'll be trying to post fics per month... but that just went down the drain LMAO! If you must know, I'm working on a fanfiction book that I put a due date on. So I'm dedicating my time there. But enjoy this Yuken word vomit I whipped up ;> HiGH&LOW babes: @airbendertendou, @straysugzhpe, @simpforchuchu, @strxwberrychocolate, @prodbyblush, and others plz mention yourselves 😫🥹🫶

#rouzu fics #high&low #high&low x reader #high&low the worst #high&low the worst x reader #high&low the worst cross #housen academy #housen #yuken odajima #odajima yuken #yuken odajima x reader #stream 'top down' by EXILE THE SECOND

[minghaoyoudoin]

First

pairing: best friend!hyunsuk x fem!reader

genre: fluffy smut mostly

words: 6.5k (zoinks)

rating: 18+ ONLY!!! fr don't even think about it, minors

warnings: the concept of virginity, mention of and consumption of food, lots of kissing, dirty talk, oral sex (f. receiving), unprotected sex (don't be stupid like these two), hyunsuk is hung, some minor biting and hair pulling, creampie, aftercare, I'm sure I missed some but that's all I can think of lol

a/n: I'm baaaaaaack 😈 this was requested a very long time ago by my lovely 🐢 anon, I'm so sorry it's been so long! with this, I've finally written for all the cix boys mwahahaha. feel free to keep the requests coming, I'm finally done with school so my tumblr shenanigans are back on schedule!

Hyunsuk looked like he was going to vomit.

You stared at him across the small dining table, your forkful of pasta frozen several inches from your mouth. His usually golden skin had turned ashen, his face so pale it was actually bordering on green. Whatever he was thinking about to make him look this way was making the other restaurant guests stare.

“What is going on with you?” You blurted at last. You set your fork back on your plate as Hyunsuk’s eyes flicked up to meet yours. Panic weighed heavy over his warm brown irises, a blanket of fog to mute their hue.

Your best friend grimaced and swallowed thickly, his strong throat flexing. God, you were so tired of noticing things like that. “I think I ate something I shouldn’t have,” he choked out at last.

It was a lie. A poor one, too. “I asked you to lunch so I could ask you a question. Why are you the one about to throw up with nerves?” Your teasing helped disguise the anxiety eating away at you, but you weren’t completely sure if Hyunsuk bought it.

In all honesty, your reason for inviting Hyunsuk out today had everything to do with the fact you noticed things like his adam’s apple bobbing.

“You know I hate when people do that,” Hyunsuk said roughly. He took several deep gulps of his water, your eyes tracking the movement of his throat. “’Sukie, we need to talk’,” his voice rose several octaves to imitate yours, “’Can I ask you something over lunch?’. Do you realize I’ve been shitting myself since then?”

You laughed and reached across the table to pat the top of Hyunsuk’s head, at which he scoffed indignantly. “You know it’s nothing bad, Hyunsuk. I would have stormed over to your place to talk right away if that were the case.”

Hyunsuk had been your best friend for nearly a decade now. You knew him better than you knew yourself most days, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t have your fun with him every now and then. If the roles were reversed you were certain he’d do the same thing.

The majority of the green tinge to Hyunsuk’s skin subsided as he finished the last of his water. “Fine then.” He motioned in your direction and finally took a bite of the sandwich in front of him. “Go on, ask your question.”

You opened your mouth and promptly stalled. You hesitated for several moments, abruptly nervous again. When you had played and replayed this scenario in your head earlier, you hadn’t actually considered what his real reaction would be. Would he laugh at you? Storm out of the restaurant? Declare he was done being your best friend for all eternity?

Hyunsuk raised an eyebrow. “Well?”

“We’ve been friends for a really long time.” It was not what you had intended to say.

“Yes?” He looked more confused now, though it was obvious his curiosity outweighed any annoyance. “What does that have to do with anything?”

You ignored him and pushed on, “Have I had a boyfriend in all that time?” Hyunsuk frowned and looked at a point above your head, obviously trying to remember.

“No.”

“Exactly.” You leaned forward in your chair, your pasta forgotten. “I think I’m going insane. Like, actually. No matter how much I thought about it I couldn’t figure out why, and then a couple weeks ago I realized. I’m frustrated.”

“…Frustrated.”

“Yes. I’m restless all the time, I can’t concentrate. I can’t even be alone in the same room with you without—”

“Hold on.” You cut yourself off as Hyunsuk raised a hand to stop you. His other one fidgeted with the white tablecloth, worrying the edge between his thumb and forefinger. “You can’t be in the same room as me?”

You realized now how that sounded when spoken aloud. “No, no, that’s not what I meant. I…” You hesitated again, anxiety gripping your throat in earnest. “I’m twenty and I’m still a virgin. It’s driving me up a wall and—I, well…”

Hyunsuk looked like he’d seen a ghost. His eyes were wide, though they had taken on a different quality now than the panic that had been in them earlier. You couldn’t place it. “Say it,” he urged.

You leaned further towards him. He mirrored your movement, his face close enough to share breath. You glanced around to ensure no one was obviously eavesdropping and, once satisfied, you took a deep breath.

“Hyunsuk, I want you to fuck me.”

You internally smacked yourself. Why would you say it like that?

Hyunsuk released the breath he’d been holding in a strained exhale. He leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest, brown eyes studying your face. You tried to ignore the disappointment rearing in your chest. You’d been expecting more of a reaction from him.

After what could have been minutes or hours, he quietly asked, “Why?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why me? I know we’re best friends, but you’ve never mentioned anything close to this before. Are you even attracted to me like that?”

Oh yeah, this would hurt to admit. Reluctantly and unable to meet his eyes, you nodded tightly. “I wouldn’t be asking if I weren’t, idiot.”

You knew he was grinning without having to look at him. He was still near vibrating with nerves. “Okay. That’s… good to know. I just… are you just using me to ‘get it over with’? I don’t want to be that to you. I don’t want to ruin our friendship like that.”

At this, your eyes snapped back to his face. “It won’t, I swear it. And you aren’t just some tool I can use, you know. It takes two and all that, so if you aren’t up for it then I’m okay with never bringing it up again.” You paused, trying to gather your thoughts. “I suppose when I figured out I was frustrated sexually like this, I realized there’s no one else I could imagine doing it with. Someone has to be the first and I want it to be you.”

Hyunsuk was still staring at you with that unfamiliar gleam in his eye, something you now realized might be desire.

A new thought crashed through your fragile wall of hope and wiped the smile off your face. “Do you…” You cleared your throat. “Do you not… like me like that?”

Hyunsuk laughed softly, his expression gentling. “Are you kidding me? Of course I do. You’re, well, you’re you.”

That was as close as he would get to calling you beautiful, you supposed. Even so, it was enough to stoke the flames of hope in your heart higher. “Then that’s settled. I know it’s a lot to ask, trust me, I do. If you need time to think about it I completely understand—”

Hyunsuk was out of his chair before you could blink. He looked close to throwing up again, this time with his new knowledge rather than the lack thereof.

“I just need a minute to think.” Hyunsuk began to stride away but froze as soon as he turned around. He looked down at you, his expression pained. “I promise I’ll call you, okay? I swear it."

Despite yourself, this helped you relax. When you spoke, you meant every word, “Take all the time you need. I’ll love you either way.”

Hyunsuk flinched, just barely. He tossed some cash onto the table for lunch and walked away, his long legs carrying him much too fast. You watched him until he vanished around the corner, the anxiety in your chest only worsening when he was out of sight.

What have I done?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You found the only way to forget how horny you were was to bake. It didn’t matter what it was. Cupcakes, brownies, cobbler, muffins, you name it—anything that allowed you to focus on a recipe and quiet your mind was good enough for you.

The second you’d gotten home from lunch you busted out every baking-related item you owned. You’d started with a cake, then cupcakes because you accidentally made way too much batter. While they were in the oven, you took the opportunity to take a long shower.

You went through the motions of washing yourself on autopilot. First shampoo, rinse, then conditioner. Shave while the conditioner soaked. Rinse. Wash your body, then your face. The routine was second-nature, unfortunately, which meant it did nothing to distract you from your thoughts. Even after finishing, you stood under the scalding water for as long as you could, just staring at the wall.

You’d scared Hyunsuk away. You knew it in your bones. His promise to call you had made you feel better in the moment, but every time you obsessively checked your phone the screen was blank. At this point you didn’t even want him to say yes. Honestly you wished you’d never brought it up in the first place. You weren’t quite sure what you’d do if you lost your best friend over something as stupid as your virginity.

You didn’t get out of the shower until the water ran too cold to bear. Your teeth clattered violently as you pulled on underwear and one of Hyunsuk’s sweatshirts, big enough on you that it hung nearly to your knees. Across the front in big, bold letters was the phrase EXTROVERT UNIVERSITY. Perhaps not the most appropriate for you, but certainly accurate for Hyunsuk.

You were brushing the knots out of your wet hair when you finally remembered you had food in the oven. There was no way it had been less than 30 minutes since you got in the shower. You dropped your brush and ran, spewing profanities under your breath as you went.

You expected to see your apartment filled with smoke. Or, best case scenario, open the oven to see a pan of inedible hockey pucks. What you didn’t expect to see, however, was Hyunsuk seated at your kitchen island, slathering butter onto a cupcake.

For several moments you could only stare. Hyunsuk hadn’t noticed you yet, since his back was to you, and he was lightly bobbing his head to whatever music was playing in his airpods. You shook yourself free of your stupor and strode forward so you could lightly cuff the back of his head.

Hyunsuk jumped so hard he nearly fell off his chair. He ripped his airpods from his ears as he whirled around, his eyes comically wide. “Dude, you scared the fuck out of me.”

“I scared you?” You shot back. “You’re the one who used your emergency key to get into my apartment! And you’re eating my food.”

Hyunsuk grinned. “Be glad I did, the oven timer was going off when I walked in. I saved your ass.” You plopped into the barstool next to him, unable to hide your smile. He’s here, he’s here, he’s here. Hyunsuk’s eyes drifted to your chest—more specifically, to the writing printed across it. “Is that my sweatshirt?”

“Your observation skills are incredible. If you hadn’t noticed, I just got out of the shower. Would you prefer I be naked?”

Color flooded Hyunsuk’s cheeks, all the way to the tips of his ears. He avoided your eyes, instead watching the cupcake in his hands as he picked it apart. “I guess that’s sort of the point, isn’t it?”

You paused, dumbfounded. Surely you misheard. “Sukie… is that why you’re in my apartment? To fuck me?”

“Would you stop saying it like that?” Hyunsuk huffed, his face impossibly redder. “And… no. Not necessarily. I just don’t like how we left things earlier.”

“Me either. I’m sorry I sprung it on you like that.”

“I’m not sure there’s a better way to ask your best friend to fuck you. Taking me out to lunch was certainly a good start.”

You giggled softly. “I guess that’s true. Want to tell me why you ran off?”

The cupcake in Hyunsuk’s hands was little more than crumbs now. He didn’t answer immediately, much to your dismay, but you allowed him time to gather his thoughts as best he could. Eventually, he asked without meeting your eyes, “In all the time we’ve known each other, have I ever had a girlfriend?”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “Um, I think there was one. Sophomore year of high school, right?”

Hyunsuk threw you an insulted look. “Are you talking about my partner in chemistry lab? No, dude, I don’t even remember her name.”

“Oh. Then… no, no girlfriends.” Hyunsuk said nothing, he just stared at you expectantly. You looked back, hopelessly confused. “What are you… oh. Oh.” You leaned forward and he looked back at his hands again. “Hyunsuk, you’re a virgin too?”

“Don’t act so surprised.”

“It’s not that, it’s just—I don’t know, I’m confused. How can you still be a virgin? You’re, well, you look like that.” You motioned vaguely at his face, hoping that was all the explaining you needed to do.

“The same could be said about you, you know.”

Your cheeks heated. There he went again, finding a way to call you attractive without explicitly saying it.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” You asked.

“I was flustered. You caught me off guard and you were looking at me with so much hope on your face. I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

You laughed, earning yourself another dirty look. “Sukie, how could I be disappointed? I can’t exactly throw stones, you know.”

“Still.” Hyunsuk turned to look at you again, this time swiveling in his stool so you were head-on. The look in his eyes was earnest now. “Look, of course I want to have sex with you. The way you asked me earlier gave me the worst fucking boner in the history of boners. You’re just so fucking innocent. Don’t look at me like that, I don’t mean literally. I mean, you have no idea what you do to me, do you?”

Your heart felt like it would leap from your chest. “What do you mean?”

Hyunsuk stood fast enough that looking up at his face nearly gave you whiplash. You copied him in an attempt to even the field but he still towered over your head. “I get a raging hard-on because of you every other day. You’re so unfairly gorgeous that I can’t concentrate when I’m with you. Half the time I’m pretty sure you think I’m an idiot because I can’t even string two sentences together without messing up.” Hyunsuk pushed his hair away from his face, obviously agitated, but he didn’t seem to notice when the strands immediately fell over his eyes again. “I’ve wanted to fuck you since the first moment I laid eyes on you. Not just that, I’m pretty sure I fell in love with you that exact same second—”

Hyunsuk cut himself off, his chest heaving. The black shirt he was wearing was tight, emphasizing the hard lines of his pecs and defined abdomen. You fought to keep your eyes on his face, though his admission had nearly knocked you flat on your ass.

“You’re…” You swallowed roughly, your eyes burning. “You’re in love with me?”

Hyunsuk gave you a tiny nod, his eyes never leaving yours. “You’re in love with me, too, you know.”

He was right, you realized. You hadn’t thought much about it before—you’d purposely tried not to—but now that he said it aloud, there was no way you could deny it.

You loved Hyunsuk.

Hyunsuk loved you back.

“I don’t know what to say,” you admitted. “I guess I could crack a joke to ease the tension but that doesn’t feel appropriate—”

Hyunsuk moved before you could register it. One moment he was frozen, staring at you with wide eyes. The next, his mouth crushed against yours with enough force that you stumbled back a step. His broad arm snaked around your waist to steady you, simultaneously hauling you closer to his chest while his other hand gripped the roots of your hair at the base of your scalp.

You were kissing him back before you’d finished processing the feeling of his mouth on yours. His lips were unbearably soft, warm as they slid against your own. You whimpered quietly at the sensation, at the fact you were finally kissing him—something you hadn’t realized you’d been waiting your whole life for until this very moment.

Hyunsuk’s fingers gripped your ribcage, his hand large enough that his fingertips brushed the underside of your breast. His other hand, still tangled in your hair, forced your head back further, allowing him better access to your mouth.

You remembered your own hands and immediately shoved them between you so you could touch his chest. His heartbeat thundered against your palm, its rhythm mirroring your own. Further south, you were painfully aware of the hard length now straining through his jeans.

You couldn’t get enough. Your hands roved over him constantly, unable to stay in one place for longer than a second. His chest, his arms, his shoulders, his hair—you needed to touch all of him, all at once. Hyunsuk’s muscles tensed everywhere you touched and, when your fingers lightly tugged at his hair, he rewarded you with a small moan into your mouth.

His hips pressed insistently against yours, though you were certain he wasn’t aware of it. His body sought friction the same way yours did, the hot pounding between your thighs making your head spin. Hyunsuk’s hand around your waist moved to join the other one in your hair.

Gently but firmly he tugged your head back so he could look at you. You gazed at him through hooded eyes, your vision hazy with lust. Hyunsuk had an expression on his face you’d never seen before, one that would come back to visit you in wet dreams for years to come.

“Tell me you’re still sure.” He pulled the roots of your hair for emphasis, earning a surprised moan from you. Hyunsuk groaned. “Please.”

“I’m sure, I’m sure. Please, Hyunsuk.” You barely recognized your own voice. Rough and low, it belonged to someone else entirely.

He needed no more encouragement than that. Without warning Hyunsuk stooped so his shoulder pressed into your abdomen, forcing your whole body over it. You shrieked as he stood, both because of the fact you were being carried over his shoulder without warning and because of the sharp smack he gave your ass.

He didn’t need directions to your bedroom. Hyunsuk spent nights with you more often than not, though this would be the first time you’d done something in your bed with him other than sleeping.

Hyunsuk, despite the ferocity with which he’d kissed you, was gentle as he set you down on the bed. You sprawled on your back and propped yourself up on your elbows, allowing your eyes to rove over his body. He stared down at you with the expression of a man starved, but with every second that passed it turned more into insecurity. He didn’t know what to do now. Shit, neither did you.

You smiled up at him reassuringly. With as much sexiness as you could muster, you beckoned him closer with a finger. “Kiss me, Hyunsuk.”

As if under a spell, he obeyed. Hyunsuk placed one knee on the edge of the mattress and covered your body with his. He held most of his weight on his elbows, caging you in on either side. When he kissed you this time, it was softer. Sweet, like he was trying to savor you.

Your fingers hooked into his belt loops, pulling his hips flush against yours. You both released small groans at the resulting pressure. You allowed your hands to drift up his sides beneath his shirt, dragging it up his torso as you went. His skin was fever-hot and soft over hard muscle.

He sat up only long enough to yank his shirt over his head, immediately dropping down over you again. You touched as much of him as you could reach, the same fervor from earlier rising fast inside you. Everywhere your hands moved made goosebumps erupt on his skin. Hyunsuk broke the kiss, his breathing heavy. You watched him as he looked down at your chest, obviously unsure if he was allowed to touch you.

Wordlessly you sat up, forcing him to do the same. He stared at you in tense silence as you pulled his sweatshirt over your head, leaving you only in your lace underwear and bare skin. Your nipples tightened painfully under his gaze. The only word you could find to describe his expression now was hunger.

When he remained silent for nearly a full minute, you decided he needed encouragement. “Hyunsuk?”

It took him a moment to find words. “Yes?” He breathed, his voice hoarse. His eyes flicked between your face and your breasts, unable to stay on either one for longer than a second.

“If you don’t touch me in the next five seconds I think I might explode.”

He laughed lowly and palmed the impressive erection straining through his jeans. Curiosity nipped at the back of your mind, followed immediately by nerves. With painstaking slowness, he gently pushed you back down on the bed so you were on your back beneath him. He kissed you again, only once, before he began to move down your body. You squirmed as he left small love bites along the column of your throat, your shoulders, your chest. His touch was gentle, too gentle, but each time his teeth grazed your skin earned a breathy moan you couldn’t seem to control.

At last his full lips closed around your right nipple. Your entire body jerked at the unfamiliar sensation, followed immediately by a shaky groan of relief. Your fingers tangled in the roots of his hair as he sucked, his mouth unbearably hot and wet as it worked you. Your heart felt very near to thundering out of your chest.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he murmured against your skin, almost to himself. His teeth tugged at your nipple for emphasis.

Just when your pleasure began to mingle with pain, he shifted his focus to your other breast. He dragged his tongue across your chest, leaving a hot trail of saliva across your skin, and brought one hand up to knead the breast he had just finished doting on.

Each moan that left your mouth seemed to encourage him further. With every passing second Hyunsuk’s confidence increased, his ministrations turning from gentle exploration to eager sucking. The bright purple marks that bloomed across your skin made you see stars.

“Hyunsuk, please,” you whimpered, both your hands now pulling lightly at his scalp. Hyunsuk wordlessly continued his leisurely journey down your body. He created constellations of kisses across your ribcage, your stomach—his tongue dipped briefly into your navel and ghosted across the hem of your panties.

You genuinely wondered if you would go insane when he looked up at you through his eyelashes, a small smile tugging at his swollen lips. “Where should I touch you, baby?”

You tried not to let your surprise at the pet name show. An unfamiliar sort of pleasure clenched in your core, drawing your attention to the wetness between your thighs. You couldn’t manage to form coherent words—instead, you allowed your legs to fall further open around him, baring your center to his face.

His eyes fell to your core and he released another shuddering breath. His long fingers hooked beneath your panties and pulled them to the side. For the first time, you felt truly exposed. Hyunsuk said nothing, the heartbeat in your clit reaching astronomical levels under his gaze.

He blew gently on your overheated core and your entire body convulsed. “Now seems like a good time to remind you,” he said roughly, “that I don’t know what I’m doing. You’ll have to tell me.”

“You’re doing great, Sukie. Just… do it, please, before I die.” Your hands in his hair tried in vain to push his face where you wanted it, but Hyunsuk was far stronger than you were. He didn’t move an inch, much to your despair. Instead, he helped you pull your panties down your legs until they were completely off, lying forgotten somewhere on the floor.

Without warning, his lips closed around your clit. You let out a sharp gasp, inadvertently yanking on his hair as you did so. Hyunsuk, to your surprise, moaned loudly at the sensation, his hips thrusting against the mattress as he sought to relieve the pressure between his legs. His forearms snaked beneath your ass, his hands large enough that they rested on top of your hipbones and locked you against the bed.

You didn’t know what feeling to focus on. His tongue circled your clit slowly, exerting just enough pressure to make you squirm. Your core spasmed with every movement, but you already knew it wouldn’t be enough.

“More, Hyunsuk, please—” your voice broke off into a moan as he obeyed. Hyunsuk’s teeth grazed your clit at the same moment his lips closed hard around it, sucking forcefully now. You sighed heavily, the breath whooshing from your chest at some of the pressure between your legs finally easing. Your back arched off the mattress and you tugged harder at his hair—you weren’t sure whether you were trying to trap him between your legs or push him away.

“You taste—” he said, his voice muffled against your core “—absolutely incredible.” Hyunsuk released your hipbone so he could position two fingers at your entrance, gathering some of your arousal onto his fingertips before timidly pushing into you. You muttered incoherent praises as his fingers curled, his middle and ring fingers finding your g-spot with ease.

You weren’t going to last. Hyunsuk rammed his fingers into you at an angle at the same time his mouth suckled your clit. You looked down at him, struggling to keep your eyes open, to find him already watching you. He growled against your center—actually growled—as he felt your walls tightening around his fingers.

“Please, harder,” you begged.

“I have to prep you, baby,” Hyunsuk scissored his fingers against your walls for emphasis, eliciting another gasp from you. “I’m big.” He didn’t say it as a brag but rather like it was a known fact, something which inclined you to believe him.

You threw your head back, lost in your pleasure. Hyunsuk’s pace didn’t falter. He continued to moan into your clit, the vibrations ricocheting up your spine and forcing you closer to your orgasm. The lewd sounds of him fingering you were broken only by his muttered praises about tasting so good or being so good for him.

“Hyunsuk, I—I’m gonna—”

“Yes, please, please cum on my tongue—”

Your hips rocked against his face, any sense of shame lost in your desperation to cum. Hyunsuk groaned against you again and it was the final push you needed to catapult off the edge. Lightning streaked through your veins, your orgasm barreling into you with such force that your thighs snapped closed around his head. He didn’t seem to mind in the slightest, instead feverishly moaning as he tried to prolong your high as long as he could.

“Oh my god.” You pressed your head and shoulders into the mattress, trying and failing to catch your breath. The echoes of your orgasm still zinged through your body long after Hyunsuk removed his fingers from you. When you finally managed to open your eyes, you nearly came again at the sight of Hyunsuk smiling up at you, his lips shining with your arousal.

He examined his glistening fingers and, like he was curious, he placed his fingers between his lips. He blinked innocently at you, smiling either at your taste or the expression on your face. Perhaps both. You groaned shakily and gently massaged his muscular shoulders. Somehow, your orgasm hadn’t calmed you down. You were more turned on than ever, actually, and you had never needed anything the way you needed his cock.

You pulled Hyunsuk up your body by the back of his neck, appreciating the startled noise he made. When his face hovered above yours you pressed an enthusiastic kiss to his lips. He tasted of chocolate cake and you, a flavor which instantly became your new favorite.

“I swear I’m going to return the favor,” you whispered into his mouth, “but if you aren’t fucking me senseless in the next thirty seconds I’m going to scream.”

Hyunsuk nodded fervently, all too excited to oblige you. You helped him out of his pants and underwear, almost too afraid to look down. As he’d warned you earlier, he was big—you could tell that much just by his height—but when his naked length brushed your thigh you seriously worried it wouldn’t fit.

“Raise your legs, baby.” Hyunsuk looped his arms under your knees and hauled them up, holding them there with his hands braced on either side of his ribcage. He kissed the tip of your nose and moved his face so you couldn’t look anywhere other than him. “Please stop me if I hurt you. We’ll go as slow as you need.”

Something in your heart fractured. Hyunsuk, your best friend. Your friend turned lover, and probably the sweetest person you’d ever met.

“I’m okay, Hyunsuk. Promise.”

He nodded, his eyes sharing lust and anxiety in equal measure. You finally allowed yourself to look down as he took his cock in a hand and pumped slowly. Any coherent thought left your head at the sight. Hyunsuk wasn’t just big, he was huge. Long and thick, his cock was flushed an angry red and looking very much like it would hurt.

He dragged the tip between your dripping folds, his precum only adding to the slickness there. Hyunsuk fitted the head into your entrance and pressed a chaste kiss to your brow. He thrusted experimentally, his cock entering you just enough that you both gasped in unison. You bit down hard on your bottom lip, unable to look away from your joined hips.

He captured your mouth in his again, probably to distract you from the pain. Even with the lubrication from both your cum and his, the stretch was enough to steal your breath. Hyunsuk kissed you like he was trying to stay grounded to earth. Low, frenzied moans rumbled in his throat on each pass.

The muscles in his shoulders bunched and flexed beneath your fingers. You gently bit down on the flesh above his collarbone to muffle the sounds coming from you, somewhere between moans and cries.

Your walls wouldn’t seem to give way. He took his time, never trying to force his cock all the way into you or increase his pace to one you couldn’t handle. Just looking at the size of his dick was intimidating enough, but having it inside you was something else entirely. He managed to get halfway in before the pain subsided enough that you began rolling your hips against his, silently begging for more.

He pulled out and, at long last, your walls relaxed as he pushed in. All at once, his cock plunged into you to the hilt, both of you gasping in surprise and pleasure.

“That’s it…” Hyunsuk sighed into your hair, his entire body shaking. “Atta girl.”

You whimpered, tears stinging the backs of your eyes. God, it hurt. He was massive and you were too tight, and holy shit you needed more, more, more.

“Move now, Hyunsuk,” you choked out. Your heels dug into his ass, feeling it flex as he timidly pulled out and thrusted back in. It still hurt, certainly enough to make you grit your teeth, but there was pleasure there now. Something in your lower stomach was already tightening like it had when he used his tongue. The urge to chase that feeling was enormous.

You bit down on his shoulder, harder this time. His hands found both of yours, lacing your fingers together and forcing them to either side of your head. His pace was still unbearably slow, his fear of hurting you blocking him from truly fucking you.

“Hyunsuk—”

You couldn’t finish your plea. His name cut off into a sharp whine as he snapped his hips into yours. He did it again, and again, and you were gone. Your moans were sometimes words, sometimes not, but they were completely wild and all for him.

The hard pace he set had your walls clamping down hard around him with every brush to your g-spot. Hyunsuk’s teeth were fastened onto his bottom lip, his eyes locked on the place your bodies collided, over and over again.

“Oh god, Hyunsuk, please, please—”

Your legs violently shook around his hips, the pain from before replaced only by pleasure now. Your walls spasmed and clenched around him, drawing deep whimpers from his throat.

“You’re so tight, baby.” His voice was unrecognizable. “You like this, hmm? You like your best friend fucking you stupid?”

You nodded, barely registering the words coming from his mouth. You were overcome by pleasure, by the feeling of his cock stretching you out and filling you so full you wouldn’t ever be able to forget it.

With skill you couldn’t understand, Hyunsuk pulled out completely and flipped you roughly onto your stomach. He hauled your ass up and closer to him, his cock easily filling you again before you could mourn the initial loss of it. You gasped, partly from shock and partly from pleasure.

Your forehead fell against your arm as he fucked you from behind, his pace fast enough now that it forced you further up onto the mattress. His body leaned over yours and he kissed any part of you his mouth could reach—your hair, your throat, your shoulders, it didn’t matter to him.

Hyunsuk was getting close now. His moans had turned breathy, his thrusts becoming more erratic as your pussy clenched hard around him. He gripped your waist hard enough to bruise, fucking you on his cock at a ruthless pace.

The hot ball in your stomach grew unbearably tight. You begged him to make you cum, to fill you with him, and his only response was to pound into you harder. When his fingers dove between your legs and found your clit again, your orgasm exploded out of you with the force of a falling star.

Your walls clamped down on his cock hard enough that he couldn’t fully thrust anymore. “Yes, baby, that’s it…” Hyunsuk sighed heavily, allowing his forehead to rest between your shoulder blades. “Cum for me, sweetheart.”

Your lips parted and your entire body locked, unable to produce any sort of sound under the weight of your orgasm. Hyunsuk’s cock twitched inside you, filling you with hot cum in thick bursts. For the first time, you remembered that you weren’t using protection and were extraordinarily grateful for the birth control pills you took regularly.

Your sweat-slick bodies trembled in the wake of your orgasms, his cock still nestled deep inside you as you came down. You weren’t sure how long you stayed that way, just holding each other and panting heavily. At some point Hyunsuk shifted so the two of you were spooning, but he didn’t try to remove himself from you once you were both laying comfortably.

There were tears in your eyes again. You tried to control it but a small sniffle escaped you despite your valiant effort. Hyunsuk was immediately on alert. He took your chin between his thumb and forefinger and forced you to look at him, the look on his face a perfect combination of adoration and worry.

“Why are you crying?” He whispered, panicked. “Are you hurt? Did I… Did I do something wrong?”

“No.” You hastily wiped away the tear that had escaped one of your eyes. “Sukie, no. I’m amazing, actually. Better than amazing.”

“Then why are you crying?”

“I’m just… really happy.” You sniffled again, the truth of your words making another tear slide down your cheek.

Hyunsuk didn’t look convinced. He placed a delicate kiss between your eyes and at last removed his cock from you, both of you grunting at the sudden loss. Your pussy throbbed, a deep ache that you were certain would last for the next few days.

You admired your view of his nakedness as he padded into your connected bathroom, coming back a minute later with a washcloth in hand. You watched him through your eyelashes and let your legs fall open again. Gratification echoed through you at the way his cock twitched in response.

He knelt between your thighs and cleaned you gently. “We, um. We made a mess,” he admitted sheepishly. His throat and face flushed a deep, pretty scarlet, all the way to the tips of his ears. You grinned down at him lazily.

“Care to do it again sometime?”

He blushed further, eliciting a giggle from you. Wordlessly he stood and pulled on his underwear—something you protested to no avail—and he gave you a timid kiss before leaving the room. He returned before you could ask where he was going, holding two butter-slathered cupcakes and a bottle of water in his hand.

“I didn’t even get a chance to frost these, you heathen,” you laughed. Still, you accepted the cupcake he offered you and smiled at him warmly in thanks.

“So,” he began, his mouth stuffed, "is the internet right?”

“What do you mean?”

He motioned between you, both still naked except for his underwear and the sheet tucked around you. “Is our friendship ruined because we had sex?”

You pretended to think for a moment. You didn’t really have to ponder this question at all, but you did enjoy the frazzled look that appeared on Hyunsuk’s face. You took a bite of your cupcake and socked him playfully on the shoulder. “I definitely think it’s ruined, yeah.”

“For real?”

You leaned forward and kissed him too quickly for him to react. “I’m gonna be thinking about that tight ass all the time now.” You squealed when he pounced, caging you between his arms and nearly squishing your cupcake between your chests. You gave him a radiant smile, exhilarated.

Hyunsuk returned it, looking joyous and thoroughly spent. “I think I could get used to this.” He adjusted so that he rested casually between your legs beneath the sheet you’d covered yourself with. He took your cupcake and set it safely on your nightstand, now able to let his head rest on your chest as you held each other.

You petted his hair, just savoring the feeling of his heartbeat and his breaths that evened into sleep quicker than you’d thought possible. This boy, you thought, smiling sleepily at nothing.

Yeah. You could get used to this.

thank you for reading!! if you enjoyed, please leave a like and reblog to show your support!

masterlist here :)

© minghaoyoudoin 2022 - all rights reserved. reposts/translations not allowed. I do not assume to know the personal lives of the idol(s) depicted in this fic, this is for entertainment purposes only!

#cix hyunsuk #yoon hyunsuk #yoon hyunsuk smut #cix hyunsuk smut #cix smut #cix #kpop #kpop smut #kpop au #smut #cix imagines #hyunsuk #hyunsuk smut #kpop fluff #yoon hyunsuk fluff #cix hyunsuk fluff #kpop imagines #cix hard hours #cix soft hours #kpop hard hours #kpop hard thoughts #cix reactions

[lestappenforever]

Do you have any lestappen fanfic recommendations? :)

Hello my lovely anon! ❤️

I was unfortunately shit at bookmarking fics when I first started reading Lestappen fics, and I still haven't had time to sit down and read through everything that catches my fancy in the pairing tag on AO3 again so I can do a proper job of bookmarking fics I really enjoyed, and creating a complete fic rec list. But, I am absolutely planning on doing it as soon as I have time at some point next year!

As for right now, I can definitely recommend the fics I have remembered to bookmark while reading/re-reading!

Below you will find some of my absolute favorite Lestappen fics:

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And That's How I Foksmashed Dad's Championship Trophy Teen And Up Audiences | 6,500 words | Complete By the legendary queen PrincessElectra (AO3)/@il-predestinato (Tumblr)

Summary: All of that would have been forgivable if not for the Green-Eyed Monster’s complete disregard for the pre-contracted occupation rights of Max’s lap. Such rights had long been pre-determined and belonged to Sassy (and occasionally to Jimmy, she admitted begrudgingly). However, no amount of quiet hisses and vicious glares seemed to penetrate the creature’s thick skull, and he would greedily occupy Max’s thigh for more than 95% of any given afternoon. Sometimes with his head, sometimes with his feet, and a few times he even straddled his entire body over Max; the latter could not have been comfortable for Max, as the Green-Eyed Monster was enormously overweight compared to Sassy.

(Jimmy had insisted that it was not nice to shame another living creature about their weight, but she was not wrong. With her compact size and considerably more reasonable mass, Sassy was confident that she was much more comfortable for Max to have on his lap than that horrendously oversized creature.)

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Keep to the Line Mature | 13 696 words | WIP By the incredible fancastik (AO3)/@nico-di-genova (Tumblr)

Summary: “Red Bull Racing have announced that Gianpiero Lambiase will not be returning as Max Verstappen’s race engineer for the 2023 season. Taking his place will be Charles Leclerc, former Scuderia Ferrari performance engineer.”

His hands had shook around his phone as he read the announcement, his breath firmly lodged in his throat. Charles has known he had the job since he first sat down across from Christian Horner and accepted the offer, alongside a Red Bull polo, with hands that felt bloodied. But reading it from the official F1 socials is something else entirely. It is real.

“At twenty-five, Leclerc will be the youngest race engineer in Formula One history.”

He had barely managed to get to a trash can before vomiting up his lunch.

Or:

The Engineer!Charles AU no one asked for

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P19 Explicit | 5 619 words | Complete By the exceptionally talented leafycats (AO3)/@sennaverstappen (Tumblr)

Summary: “Charles,” it comes out soft, worried, upset. Charles will light himself on fire. He hears Max take a few steps towards him, feels two warm, winning, arms wrap around his fast-breathing chest. He’s still wearing those golden shoes. Max snuggle into his neck. “I’m here for you.”

And Max had won, and he’s winning the season, and he’s P19, and losing this season. And Max is winning, and he’s not even talking about it – choosing to comfort his Charles instead.

Every little thought converges into a single, red-hot one.

He’s going to fuck the pole sitter so hard he’ll be sore tomorrow.

“Max,” he whimpers, trying to find his voice, find his grip, find his footing in this world. Max tightens his grip around his waist. “Yes, angel?” And he can feel Max frown against his nape, soft breath against his earlobe. It turns his body white-hot.

“Get on the fucking bed.”

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The Nights Are Long (But It's Easier Together) Explicit | 43 759 words | Complete By the amazing f1writingbyme (AO3)/@f1writingbyme (Tumblr)

Summary: “Oh, God, what is it?” Max groans. “It’s Mr. Corvetto, right? I knew it. I’m telling you, never move into an apartment next to elderly people. It’s just– Why does she call me? What the hell can I do? Doesn’t she need to call an ambulance or something? Or, I don’t know, her family, or–”

“Max.” Charles interrupts Max’s ranting. He ends the phone call, cutting off Mrs. Corvetto’s panicked yelling with a simple press of his thumb. He stares at the blue-eyed man in front of him. “Your apartment is on fire.”

Or: The fire in his apartment is only the beginning of a long list of misfortunes that await Max. Fortunately, he has Charles by his side to help him through it. That is until Charles is the one that gets targeted.

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you and me, just us (and your teammate sergio) Teen And Up Audiences | 3 377 words | Complete By the wonderful averyverse (AO3)/@oscar-fastri (Tumblr)

Summary: Checo was fully aware of what he’s walking into. Still, he seriously doubts that anyone could have been prepared for the full force of Max Verstappen and Charles Leclerc being heads over heels in love with each other and not even trying to hide it.

Or: 5 times Checo thirdwheels Max and Charles + 1 time it's everyone else's turn

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Temptation's Trajectory series Explicit | 25 009 words | Complete By the incredible pongsfootxlily (AO3)/@cupidskissx (Tumblr)

This series consists of two equally amazing fics that I've lost count of how many times I've read.

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more than fun, you're the sanctuary Mature | 21 813 words | Complete By the wonderful lestalos (AO3)

Summary: “Because I love you.” He said it like it’s the simplest thing in the world, like it doesn’t crush him to admit it, like it doesn’t scare him that it won’t be reciprocated. Or, Charles loves Max but he's scared. Max is bold enough for the both of them.

#Asks #Anon asks #Lestappen fic recs

[viablemess]

I have a lot of feelings about the Durin Family, Fili in Particular

---Howdy folks it is that time of year again where i go absolutely feral for Fili Durin. He is underappreciated and tumblr has addressed that but i feel an URGE to add to the discourse so here I am. This post is not done, fyi. I will add more to it later.

It's 10pm/22:00. I just got home from class. I'm waiting for my ramen water to boil. There is a fireplace and some holiday lights. Let's have a (fireside)chat.

First of all, the constant tying of Fili and Kili together?? Like I get it. Merry and Pippin parallels. I love parallels (looking at you, George), but come on. Chill, just a tad. I know Tolkein didn't give you much to go by, but he didn't even write tauriel into the books or Bolg and yall ran with that anyways. Use your creative brains, pls, I'm actually begging you.

ANYWAYS. Have them develop separately even if only a little. Kili is the younger one, literally viewed younger bc he has the smallest itty bitty beard. He is not the heir, he is the spare, and could have some deep rooted personal insecurities about that as a result. He may feel that he deeply has to prove himself to Thorin bc he does not have a set role in the future like Fili does. Kili gets his romance with Tauriel, which--khgf;ushfw;e uneneccary, but I can appreciate the attempt to broaden the target market and appeal to a romance audience even if the previews did not hint at that happening at all so it would not have been a marketable trait per say but I digress. Again with the parallels of forbidden romance, poor Legolas still does not get any, we know, he was not even in the books really either, let's move on.

Kili is babied by the company, needs to prove himself, his mother made him promise to return to him so he is still deeply in the "coming of age" side of things (a lot of the company is, but that's a topic for another word vomit fireside chat). He begins to realize that he might like elves which goes against his family and he was already the spare, might as well go all in and fall in love with an elf. Fine. I can deal with that. But let's see more of Kili messing up, more so than just the trolls. Let's see him make silly goofy mistakes more. The company always tries to keep him out of the line of fire by making him an archer (heh) and keeping him off the front lines. They do everything to protect him, bc Dis is a terrifying woman, ansd if she made Kili promise to return to her, dammit, the company will return him to her if it is the last thing they do. Kili likely spends less time with Thorin and Dwalin than his brother, so here he is, questioning his own self worth and if he belongs in the party and his own abilities while coming of age and sticking out from his family even more, so why not rebel a little? why not be an archer which is not as glorified, why not consider shaving to meet cross cultural beauty standards, why not date the elf (dammit, I'm convincing myself for Tauriel's presence and I hate that). He's trying his best and messing up along the way, and is INNOCENT. Completely. He is aware of his ancestry and what happened, but he and Bilbo are the two being narrated to when telling of the Durin family history, and as a result, the differences in dwarven / hobbit culture could be explored further. Thorin has a little kiddo to watch out for, and maybe is softer around, because even Thorin knows Kili is young, maybe even too young to be here but if they didn't let him come he would have snuck after them, so we get to see a more forgiving, family-man Thorin who we do not see anywhere else (and yes we get that at the end of the movie but I'm getting to my critique of the (I almost called it a keldabe wrong fandom) forehead touch with a name I cannot recall later).

Onto his brother. Fili is the heir, okay. So, that means that he is likely raised very differently from Kili. Whereas Kili may have had some time to play and be a kid (as much as they could in the Blue Mountains as refugees, anyways), Fili likely was given no such privilege. He followed Thorin around like a lost puppy, watching his every move and trying to imitate it, because he knew he would have to do Thorin's job someday. Even if Thorin did get married / have a kid / etc there would likely still be a window where Fili was in charge before Thorin's kid came of age, and as the years went on, the chances of that happening diminished, and so Fili threw himself more and more into his crown-prince-studies. Maybe a little obsessively, just like his uncle, who had practically stepped into the role as father. Because Fili thought he had to be Thorin. Thorin, meanwhile, saw the King that Fili could be, and that King was so much better than him. Fili grew up humble as a result of them all being refugees, something Thorin did not have to learn until much later and even then he never fully got it. Fili was kind, because he saw the suffering of his people, and understood how large of a difference a small act could make. Fili also had the teachings of Thorin drilled into him, because Thorin's problem was that whenever he saw Fili, he also saw Frerin. Frerin was Thorin's younger brother, just as blond as Fili, and (I'm assuming) played a roll in Fili's name (both starting with F). Frerin died at the Battle of Azanulbizar, and Thorin remembers that battle, he remembers losing his little brother. He can understand the fear that Fili feels whenever the company encounters a fight because he has felt the same in the worst of ways. But, because Thorin understands, he pushes Fili to be better than him. Even if that pushing is too much, too hard, too fast, too young--Thorin knows that Fili can be better than him, and Thorin does not want Fili to suffer as he has suffered, so he does everything in his power to prepare Fili for what is to come, and because Thorin loves him, that is all he does. He pours that love out as motivation and pushes Fili to do more, do everything, and do it better than he did. Fili, being young, does not realize this. He just sees it as Thorin preparing him to be king, and quite brutally at that, but Thorin is the closest thing he has to a father, Fili is not going to question it, not for anything, except for his little brother. And that just hurts Thorin, because he knows that, had he had the chance, he would have died to save Frerin at Azanulbizar. He knows Fili would do the same for Kili, but they are both so, so young. Thorin fears he could lose them both in one go, if he is not careful. So he is harsh, he scares them, he is forceful, because they do not have time for care and coddling, that won't keep them safe.

Whereas the company sees Kili as carefree and fun, Fili is cold, like his uncle. He is stone, and observant, and polite. He has to be Thorin, AND everything that Thorin is not. It is an impossible task, but he has to try. That is what is expected of him, not just by his mother and uncle, but by the entire people that is behind him, waiting for him to ascend to be king. He does not get a choice. The only one who can pull him out of that rut is his brother, with whom he actually feels like he can be what he is -- barely older than a kid.

Im gonna let that sink in for a second. They're CHILDREN.

anyways.

So, Kili gets his romance plot. It's cute and it parallels. And I've established that Kili must prove himself, and Fili will bend over backwards to make Thorin happy, which likely also extends to Dis, his mother.

I imagine Dis gave Kili the river rock to come back home, and she told Fili "be safe, don't be stupid, etc etc" but HIGHLIGHTED "take care of your brother", and Thorin does the same in the movies.

So, when Kili galavants up the bridge to open the gate after the party does a little slip and slide down the river, Fili naturally goes with. He sees that Kili is about to get shot. And Fili, who knows above all else he has to be king and he has to take care of Kili, just does the normal heroric thing and jumps in front, and he gets shot.

He is chastized for it, for being stupid, but overall they both are thanked for getting them out of the mess, and there is no time to waste because the company has to leave, and Fili (like what Kili did albeit maybe with more conviction) will not let others help him, or show weakness. So Fili continues on, poisoned, and Kili has the guilt of knowing his brother took an arrow meant for him. Fili must suffer the consequences of being a hero, and Kili must suffer the consequences of being the youngest, and feeling guilty for not taking responsibility for his own actions.

This all boils over to a fight where Kili tells Fili that "I made the choice to go up there, I didn't ask you to intervene!" because dammit Kili wants to be treated like an adult and FIli just took that away from him, again.

Fili, naturally, retorts, "I just did what I had to, because you know what? mom didn't tell me to come home--all she told me, all everyone ever tells me--is to take care of you! So I don't matter, not to this family, not in the same way you do. You're a son. I'm a prince."

Which, ouch. Slap in the face to Kili, and maybe the company overhears. Kili feels slighted, but also maybe is starting to understand, he can be a kid, Fili cannot. And Fili, meanwhile, is about to break from the weight of expectations that feels heavier than the lonely mountain ever could.

So, Kili stays with Fili when they get to Bard's, because it is what Fili would have done for him. Thorin is pissed, but lets it go, because Kili isn't Fili, and ouch, again.

I imagine Bofur helps quite a bit, he has a kind soul and listens better than most, and while Fili is delirious with fever Bofur talks him through it. Kili gets to be more coherent with Tauriel, and we get to see if their relationship actually holds up outside of a "she saved my life I love her" style of interaction which bleh is cliche as all get out.

and PLEASE when the dwarves do get out of Bard's house, they get to actually help Bard deal with the dragon. I read a fic a long time ago (if I find it I'll link it and the author below) where Fili had to be Bard's arrow anchor instead of Bard's son and I just chef's kiss. The dwarves who are left get to help the humans, and they feel more sympathy for them. Maybe they witness more death, and so when the dwarves do turn their backs on the humans later, Fili, Kili, Bofur, Bifur & crew are like "wait wtf they have suffered enough" unlike their future indifference we see in the movie.

and THEN all the dwarves arrive at the mountain, and Fili and Kili actually get welcomed home like the family they ARE, but it's stunted, because something is wrong with Thorin. He is glad to see Kili and Fili, but barely spares them a glance. They've heard the rumors and stories, of gold sickness. They begin to wonder, and we get to see them talk (probably with Bilbo) about the concept in secret where everyone is looking for the arkenstone. We get to see Kili with his hero worship refuse to believe Thorin would fall under a gold thrall. We get to see Fili, who is afraid of becoming like Thorin, too scared to enter the treasury unless immensly pressured to do so, and even then someone is always with him, because he worries. He still holds the ruby Thorin threw at him, and he keeps it in his pocket. He holds it so tight the edges cut his palm, and the pain seems to distract him from the wealth that surrounds him. I always wondered if Thorin gave Fili that ruby because he was the heir, or the only dwarf with so much gold about their person, with his hair. It was what Thorin saw first, not because it was his nephew, but because he looked like the very thing that already clawed Thorin down into his own demise.

AND NOW the war starts. and this needs to be another post bc ffs I'm losing my shit this is much too long.

#the hobbit #durin family feels #tolkien #thorin oakenshield #kili durin #fili and kili #fili durin #kili #fili #hobbit #dwarves #tolkien dwarves #fix it tumblr #fix it fic #fanfiction #lord of the rings #legolas #tauriel #thranduil #bard the bowman #bilbo baggins #the hobbit bilbo #the hobbit thorin #the hobbit fili #the hobbit kili #vias fireside chat series

[outerspacebisexual]

I'll Give In To You - Steve Harrington

Summary: You and Steve have been best friends for six years. It takes one drunken night to reveal your feelings and ruin everything. Or does it?

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader

Word count: 5.5k

Warnings: swearing, angst, fluff, drinking, mentions of vomit, friends to lovers (yes!yes!yes!)

a/n: if you see a mistake in this, no you didn't. friends to lovers my beloved

also, with the new tumblr guidelines, please please please interact with fics. it's harder than ever to get our works out to people, and we appreciate it so much <3

Masterlist

As two of Hawkins High’s most avid partygoers, you and Steve were expected at every party that was thrown. And cheer captain Rachel Bilson’s party was no different.

“Did you see this?” you asked Steve as you took your seat next to him at lunch.

He took the flyer from your hands, eyes trailing over the date and time for the ‘April Fools’ party. “I heard about it from Carol,” he replied, scrunching it up before you could take it back from him. “People will use anything for an excuse to throw a party.”

You scoffed. “As if you care, Mister Keg King.”

He shot you a sly grin, paired with a wink. You rolled your eyes, even as the heat pooled in your stomach. “Anyway,” he said, “we need to be thinking about my party. It’s less than a month away and we haven’t organised anything.”

You raised a brow. “Why am I suddenly helping you plan your own party?”

“Because you’re my best friend and you know I can’t plan to save my life.” His puppy dog eyes were big and bright, and you fought against the smile already forming.

“What will you give me in return?”

He tapped his fingers on the table, as if deep in thought. “How about a ride to school every day this month?”

“You already pick me up most mornings.”

“Sure, but how about every day?”

You shot him a look, but agreed. In truth, he didn’t have to give you anything, which he knew. You would do anything for him, including plan his birthday party, for free. It was one of the downsides to being in love with your best friend.

You and Steve had been friends for six years, best friends for five of them. And just like every cliché, you had fallen in love with him. And God, it was the worst thing you had ever done. Because it meant that you were subjected to watching him go out with other people while you watched on from the sidelines like a loser.

It was pathetic, really, but you had managed to hide your feelings from him for years successfully. Senior year would be no different.

“Do you have basketball practice this afternoon?” you asked him around a mouthful of food.

“Yeah, last period. I can still drive you home.”

You nodded in thanks. “What’s happening about—” You cut yourself off when you noticed that Steve’s eyes were on the doors of the cafeteria. On Nancy Wheeler. The heat in your stomach turned to ice. “Steve,” you said, bringing his attention back to you. “What’s up with you and Nancy?”

His eyes shot back to you. “What?”

You gestured with your head to the girl. “What’s up with you and her?”

Steve and Nancy had been spending more time together recently, which was no secret to you and the rest of Hawkins High. It was a weird pairing if you were honest, not that you would ever tell Steve that.

“Nothing,” he rushed. “We’re just lab partners. She’s having a hard time with her parents or something lately.”

The way he scrambled for an excuse wasn’t all that convincing, but you let it go. “Right.” Your appetite was suddenly gone, and you pushed your tray away.

Steve noticed, but didn’t say anything, pushing it back towards you without a word. “Now, about my party.”

You rolled your eyes again. If there was one thing Steve was good at, it was changing the subject.

+

Like Steve said, the sound of sweaty teenage boys running around was loud enough that you could hear it from outside the gymnasium.

You slung your backpack over your shoulder as you made your way towards it. You had elected to skip out on last period. Mrs. Click wouldn’t even notice. Plus, reading in the bleachers was always preferable to learning history for an exam that wouldn’t mean anything after graduation.

Opening the doors to the gym, you found the team in the middle of a practice game.

You waved at the coach, who at this point, was used to you sitting in on his lessons. He was fine with it, so long as you didn’t say anything or disturb his class. He was on some power trip about ensuring that the team made the finals this year. Something that Steve was sure wasn’t going to happen.

Steve caught sight of you as you made yourself comfortable towards the back of the bleachers, already pulling out a book from your backpack. He gave a nod in greeting, and you smiled back at him.

He was sweaty beyond belief, the spring air already humid enough to cause a breakout of sweat if you even thought about doing anything strenuous.

You sat in silence for the majority of the lesson, only looking up when you heard the doors open again. When you did, you thought you must have been hallucinating, because Nancy Wheeler was standing at the entrance.

You watched as Steve excused himself from practice to go over to her. Their words were hushed, not audible over the team’s shouting, no matter how hard you tried to listen.

She looked upset, that much you could tell, and Steve comforted her as she sniffled.

The bell rang out through the gym, and you shoved your book into your bag, taking the steps two at a time. You were nothing if not nosy, so you were disappointed when you got to Steve right as Nancy exited the doors and headed out into the parking lot.

You clapped your hand on Steve’s shoulder, before immediately pulling it back when it came away sweaty. You made a face and wiped it on your pants. “Gross. What was that about?”

He chuckled as he watched you. “Nothing. She’s just having a hard time with her parents and her brother.”

“So you said,” you replied dryly.

“I’m actually going to drive her home today,” he admitted. “She’ll be out by the car if you wanted to wait for me out there.”

Your stomach soured instantly. “It’s all good. I’m catching a lift with Riley,” you lied. Steve’s eyes shot from you to Riley, who was making his way to the locker room with the other guys. You prayed that Riley would give you a lift home. You two were friends enough that it shouldn’t be a problem, but on the off chance he couldn’t—home was a long way to walk.

Still, it was better than riding with Steve and Nancy.

“Oh, OK,” was all Steve said, his eyes returning to you.

You sent him a smile that he returned, even if his was a little strained. You chalked that up to Nancy waiting for him.

You started to walk away when he called to you. “Hey, I have something for you,” he said, gesturing for you to hold out your hand. You shot him a confused look, but held it out anyway.

He grabbed your wrist faster than you could move and ran your hand over his sweaty hair.

You ripped it out of his grasp and shoved him. “Yuck, Steve. What the fuck?”

He only laughed as he jogged to the locker rooms, leaving you standing there shouting after him.

+

It turned out that Rachel’s ‘April Fools’ party was just a normal party that happened to be the weekend after April Fools. You hadn’t expected anything more than that.

As always, Steve was the Keg King, and you could only watch on as the others held him upside down.

You had spent the majority of the night by his side like normal, downing your fair share of alcohol until the room started spinning and your feet no longer felt like they were your own.

You laughed at something Steve said as the two of you stood in the kitchen, surrounded by a few members of the basketball team. If you were honest, you weren’t even sure what was funny.

“Hey guys, I’ll be back,” Steve said suddenly, and he was disappearing through the crowd of people towards the front door.

You peered over the heads of the people in the living room to see Nancy Wheeler and Barbara Holland entering the house. You raised a brow as you watched Steve give them each a side hug. To say you were surprised to see them at a party was an understatement.

Barbara was nice, and you shared a class with her last year, but a party was not her scene. You imagined that Nancy was the same.

“What’s up with you?” Riley asked from beside you.

You turned your attention to him, his face blurring and swirling the more you tried to focus on it. “Nothing,” you mumbled. “I’m just surprised to see Nancy here.”

“See Nancy here, or see Nancy with Steve?”

You shot him a look that probably seemed a lot more intimidating in your head. “Hey, I don’t need you interfering in my life,” you slurred, stumbling over the word ‘interfering’.

“Right,” he drawled, his teasing smile making you want to be anywhere but beside him.

He hadn’t left you alone about it since you cornered him that afternoon a week ago and begged him for a ride home. He had agreed on the condition that you tell him why you needed one when Steve had only left five minutes before.

You lied for the most part, but he saw straight through it.

“I’m getting another drink,” you muttered, and he only nodded and turned back to the conversation.

You pushed through the crowd, saying hello to a few people as you tried to find Steve’s cooler with your drinks.

After five minutes of looking, you gave up, choosing instead to grab a beer from a random cooler.

You popped the cap, but as soon as the smell hit your nostrils, bile was rising in your throat. You stood completely still, hoping that the nausea would pass, but it only grew until you were shoving past people in search of the bathroom.

Luckily, the door was ajar, and you slammed it shut and collapsed in front of the toilet just in time.

Once you were sure that you’d gotten everything out of your system, you stood, washing your mouth out and staring at yourself in the mirror.

You still looked fine, aside from the spaced-out drunk look in your eyes.

Picking up the beer you’d left on the counter, you swigged it, the burn from the alcohol cancelling out the burn from the vomit.

There was a knock on the door, and you shouted ‘come in’ before you even thought about the fact that you were in a random bathroom and it wasn’t usually a shared space.

Fortunately for you, it was Steve. “Hey, Riley said he saw you rushing in here.”

You stumbled as you leaned against the counter. “I just felt a little sick,” you explained, gesturing to the toilet.

“Ah. You feeling better?”

You giggled. At what you didn’t know. Maybe at the way he looked so pretty tonight. Then you remembered where he had been. You took another swig from your beer. “Why aren’t you with Nancy?”

Steve glanced between you and the beer in your hand. “Where’d you get that? That’s not ours.”

He tried to take it from you, but you pulled out of his reach. “Where’s Nancy?”

“I don’t know. With Barb outside probably,” he said, finally succeeding in wrangling the bottle from you. He sniffed it. “Did someone give this to you? And why are you so caught up with Nancy?”

You scoffed, ignoring the first question. “Because you’re always with Nancy now,” you slurred. “It’s Nancy this and Nancy that. So, why aren’t you with her now?”

Steve righted you when you leaned a little too far back. “Because I’d rather be with you.”

“You don’t mean that.”

His brows furrowed. “What?”

You rolled your eyes and huffed in an exaggerated manor, all drunken foolishness. “You don’t mean that, Stevie. You would choose Nancy over me, and that’s OK!” You patted his chest. “It’s OK that you choose her. She’s nice.”

If Steve was confused before, he was completely and utterly lost now. “What are you talking about? You’re my best friend.”

You let out a broken sound, something between a laugh and a scoff. “I know. That’s the worst part. Because you don’t even realise just how much it hurts to be around you when I love you.”

Steve went rigid beneath you, his chest halting as he held his breath.

The two of you stood there, suspended in time.

“What?” he asked after a moment.

As he said it, the music died out and you stood up straight, the drunken cloud of fog floating away quicker than ever before.

You had not just said that out loud. But from the crinkle between Steve’s brows and the confused look on his face, you most definitely had.

You pulled away from him, brushing past him before he could stop you. He still tried, but you were faster, slipping out of his reach and racing through the crowd of people.

You couldn’t hear Steve behind you, but it was hard to hear anything over the music blaring and your blood thrumming in your ears.

Riley was where you’d left him, and for the second time in a week, you were begging him for a ride home. He looked concerned at first, but agreed when you threatened to take his keys and drive home yourself.

You didn’t see Steve before you left.

You didn’t even try and find him.

You didn’t want to do anything except get home and cry.

Which was exactly what you did.

+

You drove to school on Monday morning, despite the fact that Steve had promised to drive you every day this month.

After spending most of Saturday night and all of Sunday moping around and crying at your utter stupidity, you had to face school.

You were sitting in your first period English, the seat next to you that Steve normally sat in empty. At first, you were hopeful that maybe he’d skipped first period, which was the only class that you shared with him on Monday.

Your hopes were crushed, however, when Steve came bumbling into the room five minutes late.

He dropped into the seat beside you, and you could feel the heat behind your cheeks as you kept your eyes averted.

“You drove to school,” he said after a few minutes.

“Yeah,” you replied, still not looking at him.

He was silent again. “I waited for you.”

The guilt stabbed your heart until it was nothing more than a deformed pin cushion. “Sorry,” you said, and you really meant it. “I should have told you I was driving this week.”

“This week?” He was surprised, and he said it a lot louder than he meant to because the teacher was quick to shush him. He continued, quieter, “You’re driving this whole week?”

You nodded and dared a glance at him. “Yeah. My dad said I need to drive my car more or he’ll sell it.” It wasn’t a complete lie, but it was far from the truth. The truth that you couldn’t face the consequences to your dumb actions.

“Right,” he replied, and he slumped back in his seat, fumbling with his pen.

+

The next few weeks went by in an awkward dance of you and Steve trying to act normal and failing spectacularly.

You managed to avoid him for the most part, which was more painful than you thought it would be. You hadn’t spent a day without him on purpose for years. And now you were doing it most days.

Maybe what hurt the most was that Steve wasn’t acting like nothing happened. It was worse. He was acting like you were some ticking timebomb that would fall apart if he looked at you for a second too long.

Which just made everything ten times harder to pretend like nothing happened.

You spent lunch in the library half the time, where you by chance ran into Barbara Holland.

She sat opposite you at the table you’d found in the back of the room. “Hi,” she greeted.

“Barb.” You blinked. You hadn’t seen her since catching sight of her at the party two weeks ago. It had been probably six months since you’d spoken to her. “Hey.”

She pulled some books and pens from her backpack, setting up for studying what looked like science. “This science project is killing me,” she said. “How are you getting through it?”

“Uh, I’m just doing some extra reading on the topic. I’m not in Mr. Hilton’s class, so I’m not partnered with anyone.”

Barb nodded. “Yeah, I’m not either. I think he’s only partnering people because it’s a senior-slash-junior class.”

“Yeah, probably.” You weren’t quite sure what to say after that. It was weird enough that Barb was sitting in front of you in the first place, let alone that you were making small talk about a science project.

“Nancy and Steve are partnered together,” Barb said, breaking the silence.

You looked back at her, brows raised. “I know.” Your answer was snappier than you meant it to be.

Barb studied you for a long moment. “He’s being a really good friend to her. Her dad has been giving her a hard time recently, and Steve knows all about that, so he’s been helping her out.”

“Cool,” you replied.

Barb went quiet again, and you turned back to your work.

“Steve’s birthday is next week,” she said.

You sighed. “I know when my best friend’s birthday is, Barb.”

If she clocked how grating she was being, she didn’t care. “He’s still having the party that you guys planned.”

You narrowed your eyes. You knew exactly where she was going with this little spiel.

She was trying to gauge if you were going to Steve’s party. It was no secret that you had pulled away from the senior festivities in the past few weeks. You hadn’t attended many parties or skipped classes for fun like you used to. The idea of getting drunk and admitting something even more mortifying while under the influence was terrifying.

You weren’t sure if Barb had come of her own accord, or if Steve had put her up to it. Or worse yet, if Nancy had done it.

You suddenly had no desire to talk to Barb, and you packed your notebook and textbook into your bag. “Thanks, Barb,” was all you said as you left the library.

+

Steve’s leg bounced up and down as he sat on his couch, surveying the surrounding partygoers. It was his usual crowd—the entire senior class of Hawkins High, along with a few sophomores and juniors that somehow snagged an invite.

His eyes drifted over the people he’d known his entire life, all standing in his house. He should be grateful that this many people knew him and wanted to come to his party. Instead, he was clinging to his couch and searching the faceless throng of people for the one person he really wanted to see.

The one person that his life had unknowingly revolved around until three weeks ago.

He gripped his beer bottle tighter.

Someone clapped him on the shoulder, and for a split second, it was you. It was your hand on his shoulder, a sly comment falling from your mouth before he even turned to look at you.

It was you. Until it wasn’t, and the hope in his chest dwindled as the image of you was replaced with a guy from his science class, wishing him a happy birthday and congratulating him on the great party.

He thanked him lamely, the bottle in his hands suddenly the most interesting thing in the room.

You didn’t come to parties anymore.

He took a can from someone as they passed him, shouting ‘happy birthday’ over the pounding music.

It was his party after all. It was his birthday. He should be enjoying himself. He should have finished the lukewarm beer in his hands twenty minutes ago. He should be shot gunning the can in his hands with the rest of the basketball team by the pool.

His heart started to race.

He should be doing any number of things with any number of people.

But the only place he wanted to be was with you.

He was standing before he could stop himself.

The guy from earlier was by the door when he grabbed his keys. “Hey, where are you going, man?”

“Out,” was all Steve replied, only vaguely aware of the guy shouting that he couldn’t leave his own party.

He didn’t care about leaving his house in the hands of a bunch of high schoolers.

He only cared about getting to you.

+

You stared blankly at the perfectly wrapped gift box sitting on your dresser.

It was teasing you.

You didn’t know how, but it was.

Maybe with the promise of everything being all right if you just got the guts to go give it to Steve. It didn’t matter that he was having a party. You were still his best friend, you still had more right than anyone else to be at his place.

Plus, you had helped organise the party to begin with. If anything, you should be pride of place next to Steve.

But you weren’t.

The prospect of talking to Steve after your mortifying ordeal was almost too much to bear. You had managed to keep your stupid feelings to yourself for years and suddenly a few too many drinks and a random bathroom was what sent you over the edge.

It was humiliating.

You groaned and collapsed onto your back on your bed, covering your eyes with your arm.

Even without looking at it, the present was burned into the back of your eyelids. The worst part was, you knew that he would love it.

He’d get that goofy look on his face as he pulled the lid off, and he wouldn’t even bother to suppress the laughter that would burst from him. He would throw his arms around you without a second thought, and you would burn from head to toe at his touch while you pretended to be nonchalant about the gift, lying through your teeth about how you’d forgotten his birthday. You’d lie, despite the fact that it had taken almost six months and plenty of tears to make.

You’d pretend, just like you always did.

Normally, you and Steve would be so drunk by now that you’d collapse into his bed and he’d fall to the floor in a heap, yanking his pillow from beneath your head, ignoring your objections.

But now, you were holed up in your room ignoring that you wanted to be with him.

Each minute that ticked by was spend volleying between two thoughts: ‘I should go and see him’ and ‘I need the ground to open up and swallow me whole’.

After ten agonising minutes of going back and forth, you stood.

Steve was still your best friend. And he would never not see you on your birthday.

Your eyes found the gift again. It sat completely still, completely unmoving. You stared at it. It stared back.

“Fuck it,” you mumbled, and you were getting dressed before you could convince yourself this was a terrible idea.

+

The route to your house was second nature to Steve by this point.

Six years of biking, and then driving, between your place and his had the turns seared into his brain. He could get there blindfolded.

He hadn’t even bothered to turn on the radio. The silence was somehow comforting. It was neutral. It didn’t tell him that this was either the stupidest thing he’d ever done or that it was the best thing he would ever do.

Only his mind told him that. Each thought took up equal space as he drove, swinging up and down and around and around like unbalanced scales.

Your driveway came into view. The only car parked out front was your own, no sign of your parents’ cars. He didn’t know if that was a blessing or a curse.

He pulled in behind your car and cut the engine.

Through your window, he could see your bedroom light was on, the light curling from beneath the curtains. You were probably in there right now, curled up in bed reading one of your countless novels that he could never keep up with. You were always one to forgo sleep for the next chapter.

He chewed on his bottom lip as he sat there in the darkness, just watching. He heaved in a breath and screwed his eyes shut.

It was his birthday, and even though he didn’t have a cake or candles, he still had a wish.

A wish that he cashed in as he sat in his car in your driveway.

+

In your haste to get semi-presentable for a party, you couldn’t hear anything over your laboured breathing.

You threw on a jacket, and after scanning your appearance in the mirror, you gave up on trying to be anything other than the weird mess that you had become. It didn’t matter anyway. You were just going to see Steve and give him his gift, and then you were coming back home.

The gift was just where you’d left it, just as intense in its silent stare. It was a box, you thought darkly, how could it even have a stare?

Before taking it from your dresser, you opened the lid, peeking inside just to make sure it was still in there.

It was.

The jacket you’d made and sewed yourself staring back at you. From the way you’d folded it, the embroidery on the left-hand side was visible. Harrington’s Baby-Sitting Service in lettering so small you could barely make it out. The lettering colour was the same as the jacket material, so no one would notice it unless it was pointed out.

What wasn’t visible from the way it was sitting, was the other embroidery on the inside of the right cuff: your name.

In even smaller lettering, it wasn’t visible at all unless you ran your fingers over it and felt that it was there.

You slammed the lid back down and took it under your arm.

It was too late to back out now.

Descending the stairs, you were surprised to find your keys exactly where they should be. It was like your earlier self had been preparing for this moment.

Gripping your keys in one hand and clutching the present tighter beneath your arm, you yanked your front door open.

+

The gravel crunched under foot as Steve made his way to your front door.

Once he was in front of it, he hesitated.

What if you didn’t want to see him? What if he knocked and you didn’t answer? What if he knocked and you did answer?

What was he even going to say?

He hadn’t organised a speech on the drive over. He had a full fifteen minutes, and he wasted them on his own pitiful thoughts instead of preparing a speech.

Maybe he could go back to his car and work on one, and then come back and try it again.

But before he got the chance, the outside light flicked on, and he was left standing—completely frozen—inches from the door as it was reefed open from the inside.

+

You faltered, eyes widening as you registered that Steve was standing on the threshold of your house.

“Steve,” you breathed.

He looked just as shocked to see you standing there. “Y/N,” he replied, voice shaky.

You blinked at him, a million thoughts racing through your head. The first being: ‘Why aren’t you at your party?’ And the second: “What are you doing here?”

He opened and closed his mouth a few times. “I—uh—I came to see you.”

“Oh,” was all you managed.

His eyes went from your face to your outfit to the gift under your arm. “Were you…were you coming to see me?”

You would have to be blind to miss the hopefulness behind his words and in his eyes. You shuffled and pulled the box from under your arm. Holding it in front of him now, it felt stupid. “Yeah,” you said finally. “I was going to give it to you at your party.”

“You’re going to the party?” he asked, a glimmer of surprise flicking across his face. “I didn’t think you wanted to come.”

“I don’t,” you mumbled, and you caught the way his shoulders deflated. “But I wanted to see you. It’s still your birthday, Steve.”

He nodded, swallowing harshly as an awkward silence descended over the two of you. He didn’t move to come in, even when you invited him in.

He shifted his weight from foot to foot as his eyes darted around wildly. “I’m sorry,” he said suddenly, and you paused from where you were dropping your keys into the bowl by the door. You placed the gift on the table and turned to look at him as he continued, “I’m sorry for not talking to you. I just thought…I thought that you wanted space. From everything. From me.”

You didn’t tell him that that was exactly the opposite of what you wanted.

“I wanted so badly to talk to you about it, but Nancy said that you probably didn’t want that. She said that you would see me when you were ready.”

You fought the urge to roll your eyes at the mention of Nancy. Of course he would go to Nancy Wheeler for help with his problems. It also didn’t help that she was right, sort of. “Steve, it’s all right, really. I was—”

“No,” he cut you off. “It’s not all right. I—I shouldn’t have let you walk out of that bathroom. I should have chased you down.”

“Steve—”

He held up a hand. “Just…Just let me finish, please.”

You opened your mouth, but closed it after a moment, nodding for him to keep going.

He ran a hand through his hair, letting out a shaky breath. “When you said what you said in that bathroom, I was surprised. Not about what you said, but about how blind I’d been. Because you…I’ve been in love with you since freshman year.”

You froze, your heart thumping hard against your ribcage.

His eyes were trained on the floor, the words tumbling from his mouth. “And I told myself for years that it didn’t matter because I didn’t want to ruin anything. Because I was happy if I just got to be your friend. And then that night, I was worried that you didn’t mean it.” His voice broke, and it took everything in you to not reach out and hug him. “I thought that maybe you were just drunk and saying things you didn’t mean. And if that was true, if you really didn’t mean it, then I couldn’t risk saying it to you and having things become weird between us.”

When he finally looked at you, his eyes were lined with tears. Your own suddenly burned.

“But then things got weird anyway. And it felt like my fault. Because I couldn’t look at you without hearing what you said.”

“Steve,” you began, but you couldn’t work out where to start. “What about Nancy?”

He blinked. Then blinked again. “What about Nancy?”

You floundered. “Aren’t the two of you…?”

“Nancy?” he barked. “No. Nancy is a friend. She’s nice and all, but…”

“But what?”

His eyes found yours again. “But she’s not you.”

You stared at him. There was a tender vulnerability in his eyes, one that you had rarely seen from him. You had no doubt that yours reflected your own. A tear slipped from your eye, and Steve was stepping towards you before you could wipe it away.

He took your face in his hands, so gently that his fingers felt like little more than a whisper across your skin. He swiped the tear from your cheek. He was so close. “Steve,” you breathed.

“Y/N,” he murmured back, just as quiet.

Your eyes flickered between his, and when his own dipped to your lips, your breath hitched.

The space between you was infinitely large, but Steve made the leap anyway.

And as his lips pressed to yours, the world fell away into nothing but the two of you in this moment that had been building for six years.

#steve harrington x reader #stranger things x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n #stranger things x you #steve harrington fanfiction #stranger things fanfiction #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fluff #stranger things one shot #steve harrington one shot #stranger things angst #stranger things fluff

[aftercamlann]

ACBB 2023 MASTERPOST

Thank you to all our wonderful writers, artists, beta readers and hype readers who participated in this years After Camlann Big Bang! We hope you will consider participating again this year!

Below is the final masterlist for After Camlann 2023:

*** Title: This Remarkable Season Author: s0mmerspr0ssen Artist: PapySanzo89 Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, side: Leon/Morgana, Gwen/Lancelot, Gwaine/Percival, (temporary) Cenred/Merlin, surprise/minor pairings Rating: Explicit Word count: 79,313 Summary: Arthur Pendragon, Crown Prince of Camelot, must marry. King Uther expects him to choose a high-ranking noble, preferably a lady, from amongst the Camelot ton. But as fate would have it, the Prince finds himself drawn to Mr Merlin Emrys, an obscure gentleman from the countryside. Merlin, impoverished and desperate to save his family from complete ruin, must marry, too. Feelings are secondary, for the match must be an advantageous one. Soon, both Arthur and Merlin are caught between the pressure of expectations and what their hearts truly desire…

Story is here | Art is here | Reblog on Tumblr here *** Title: The Chough's Call Author: Aro_Tarot Artist: Winnett Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Mordred/Daegal Rating: Teen and Up Word count: 85,861 Summary: When Arthur went back to his hometown to find his missing sister, he wasn’t sure what he would find. He simply hoped that there would be some clue that would lead him to her. A clue, he did find, but instead of pointing him in a direction, it led to him being knocked out and waking up in a different world, one with magic.

Taken, rescued, and now staying in a refugee sanctuary, Arthur was now not just searching for his sister but also the figure known in history and legend as the Once and Future King. As he works as an assistant to a sorcerer named Merlin, befriends a group of knights, and is accompanied with his childhood figurine turned living chough, Arthur starts to question if he would want to go home after all of this is over. Of course, that is only if the others and him can survive the prophecy, the return of the ancient evil known as the Ivory, and if Emrys can fulfill his part by finding the Once and Future King.

Story is here | Art is here | Reblog on Tumblr here *** Title: I hear that deserts heal your history Author: Celaenos Artist: gramnel Pairings/Characters: Morgana & Arthur, Merlin/Morgana, Arthur/Merlin Rating: Mature Word count: 68,355 Summary: Morgana pushes herself up slowly, looking around. She is in the backseat of a car, in what looks like a vast and empty desert, pulled off against the side of a highway. No cars, no people anywhere that she can see. A blonde woman is sleeping in the front passenger seat. Morgana stares at her, confusion overwhelming, even as the dawning horror builds the longer that Morgana studies her features. The sharp edges are there: the tilt of her chin, the shape of her nose, the way that her mouth opens just slightly—it’s all there plain as day, and Morgana feels faint. Furious. Terrified. Why now, after all this time?

She crawls over, flinging open the backseat and vomits down into the dirt.

In the front seat of the Cadillac, the reincarnation of her brother wakes with a start.

Story is here | Art is here | Reblog on Tumblr here *** Title: Flicker Of A Candlelight, Heat Of An Inferno Author: lavender_spice Artist: MerlinLikeTheBird Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Gwen/Morgana Rating: Teen and Up Word count: 93,168 Summary: When Merlin gets injured on a hunting trip, Arthur is forced to face his true feelings for his stubbornly loyal manservant. Merlin is everything he should not want, and yet Arthur struggles to keep his feelings at bay.

On top of all this, after learning of his father's lies and hypocrisy, Arthur hatches a plan to put an end to his people's suffering once and for all, finding unlikely allies along the way.

Can the two boys intertwined by destiny navigate their relationship amongst betrayal, secrecy, and a near-impossible mission?

Story is here | Art is here | Reblog on Tumblr here *** Title: Charlatans and Ruffians Author: thenerdyindividual Artist: kairennart Pairings/Characters: Arthur/Gwaine/Merlin Rating: Mature Word count: 84,980 Summary: Merlin and Gwaine spend their days bopping around kingdoms, performing for the masses in exchange for petty coin. Sometimes they perform for room and board. When they perform at a tavern, the tavern owner gives Merlin a ring for payment, everything changes. Turns out the ring was haunted by the ghost of Queen Ygraine Pendragon. Now Ygraine is threatening to haunt Merlin for the rest of his life if he doesn't travel to Camelot to protect her son Arthur.

He goes to Camelot, and it turns out that Arthur is a huge pain in the ass. But he's also kind and does his best for his people, and that has Merlin and Gwaine falling for him.

If only Merlin didn't have to contend with a genocidal king and political plot involving the Kingdom of Magic.

Story is here | Art is here | Reblog on Tumblr here *** Title: till our souls catch us up Author: EachPeachPearPlum Artist: griffonskies Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Mordred (Merlin), Freya (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Morgause (Merlin), Nimueh (Merlin) Rating: Mature Word count: 47,641 Summary: "Everyone but Uther Pendragon will be allowed to live," the voice says, echoing through Arthur's bones, the raw power of it terrifying beyond anything he’s ever felt, and he knows that even if the owner of the voice can be trusted to spare his citizens, the offer of sanctuary does not extend to him.

Or: When Camelot falls to an army of sorcerers, Arthur expects to follow his father to the pyre. Instead, he’s surprised when the new king spares his life, although he’s not entirely sure death wouldn’t have been better than spending the rest of his days locked in his room, waiting for Emrys to get bored of having him around.

What follows is a tale of murder attempts, evil schemes, and a mysterious prophecy.

And destiny, of course.

Story is here | Art is here | Reblog on Tumblr here *** Title: In A Land Of Snarky Dragons Author & Artist: BGN846 (bgn_846) Pairings/Characters: Merlin & Arthur Rating: Teen and Up Word count: Word Count: 48,369 Summary: Merlin is living the best life, learning how to raise dragons from his dragonlord father, Balinor, on their farm. This teenager has not a care in the world (magic is legal) until the local druids pay a visit. Merlin is not happy to discover he has a destiny featuring another person he’s never met. Once and future king his arse, not on his farm. Ignoring the prophecy with the mystery no named future king, Merlin tries to pretend everything is fine.

However, one giant, scaled, slightly bored troublemaker named, Kilgharrah, decides that this prophecy of destiny and kings is the perfect adventure to get his blood pumping. So the great dragon does what he does best, and proceeds to stir the proverbial pot.

Cue, kidnappings, rescues, attempted coups, and a fair amount of dragons all to keep destiny on track.

Story and Art is here | Reblog on Tumblr here *** Title: it’s a fated thing Author: fabledfrog Artist: a_star_is_here Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon - Arthur Pendragon, Merlin, Gwen, Morgana Pendragon, the Knights of the Roundtable, OCs Rating: Teen and Up Word count: 34,848 Summary: Merlin has a good life. He sleeps in the royal bed, sits on the king's right, uses magic out in the open, free and never again hidden.

He likes the first bit, is tired of the second, and is still awed by the last.

When he first told Arthur, he hadn't expected them to work together to destroy the destinies that had been written since the dawn of time; he hadn't thought that they would be able to change their path so drastically that everything would be different.

He hadn't even realised it, when all had been said and done. He'd only learned the truth of what they had done when he had gone to the Crystal Caves and they had shown him what his life could have been.

He'd thought they were safe from it; the cruel fate that had awaited them was averted.

Only, not everyone was happy with that.

-

In which Merlin's magic is used to create problems for the future. Or the past. All time in general.

Story is here | Art is here | Reblog on Tumblr here *** Title: We Are Made for Flying Author: remaymber Artist: CaughtInTheRa1n Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur, side: Morgana/Leon, Gwen/Lance, Percival/Gwaine, Freya, Hunith, Uther Rating: Mature Word count: 62,114 Summary: When Arthur sees Merlin for the first time at Camelot circus, he knows he is doomed. What makes his fate even worse is that Merlin seems dead set on hating him. But as destiny wants it, they find they need each other to solve the mystery that is Uther Pendragon to protect Camelot. As time passes and slowly the questions asked turn into answers with grave consequences, the final question remains: Do opposites attract, or will their differences be insurmountable after all?

Story is here | Art is here | Reblog on Tumblr here *** Title: Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) Author: salamandair Artist: Stelle Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur Rating: Mature Word count: 30,490 Summary: Seven years ago, Merlin and Arthur were engaged to be married. They were happy, in love and had plans to create a better future

Seven years ago, Arthur’s world was turned upside down and the lovers broke off their engagement.

Seven years later, Arthur Pendragon is now Albion’s youngest Prime Minister in history and hates anything to do with magic.

Seven Years later, Merlin Wyvern is now the leader of a rights group fighting for equal rights for magic users.

Now, their separate worlds collide as a decades-long fight finally comes to a head to change Albion forever.

Story is here | Art is here | Reblog on Tumblr here *** Title: Nerdboy and the Incredible Prat Author: bad_peppermint Artist: paintedpigeon Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon Rating: Teen and Up Word count: 34,828 Summary: The guy Merlin keeps running into at Comic-Con, wearing matching cosplay, just might be his soulmate. Too bad he’s kind of an asshole.

Story is here | Art is here | Reblog on Tumblr here *** Title: The Reluctant Prince Author: Cookie Artist: Schweet_heart Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur Rating: Mature Word count: 33,900 Summary: Arthur has never really wanted to be a prince, and the thought of being king in the future fills him with dread. But that is his destiny and not even falling in love with a stage magician called Merlin can change that.

Story is here | Art is here | Reblog on Tumblr here *** Title: Out of the Dark (Into the Light) Author: MyKingdomComeUndone Artist: Profiad Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur, Morgana, Gaius, Gwen, Lancelot, Mordred, Will, Sophia, Edwin, Valiant, Anhora Rating: Explicit Word count: 40,894 Summary: Instead of participating in a deadly drinking game by the sea to save Camelot from unicorn-related famine, Arthur finds himself in a cave, along with a bunch of total strangers. The catch? The only thing each of them remembers is their own name. Before panic can truly set in, an old man with a staff appears out of thin air to tell them it’s all part of a test: only the first of them to reach the exit will be permitted to leave. The others won’t be so lucky…

The quest sounds straightforward enough, but on the way, Arthur and his fellow amnesiacs are faced with wicked traps, dangerous creatures, and some threats that may even come from within their group. And as if that’s not enough trouble to face without his memories to guide him, Arthur also has to deal with his increasingly distracting feelings for a certain dark-haired sorcerer among their group, going by the name of ‘Merlin’…

Story is here | Art is here | Reblog on Tumblr here *** Title: A Smooth Sea Never Made A Skilled Pirate Author: Pearl09 Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Merlin, Arthur, Leon, Gwaine, Lancelot, Uther Rating: Teen and Up Word count: 41,752 Summary: Arthur grew up in Camelot, next to the sea. However, he was never allowed out on the water. As the one thing out of his reach, it was the one place he yearned to be—even just to briefly experience the open ocean. When he finally decides to take his life in his own hands and hears rumors of a pirate ship nearby that might let him on board and out of the city, he has no idea what is really in store for him.

Story is here | Reblog on Tumblr here *** Title: Chase the Sun Author: MerlinLikeTheBird Artist: wortvermis Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur, Morgana, Gwen, Gwaine, Leon, Freya Rating: Teen and Up Word count: 27,572 Summary: “We lived together before and we both survived, didn’t we?” Arthur doesn’t take the bait.

“Barely,” Merlin answers, picturing their uni days. The first taste of living with anyone other than his mother or sleepovers with Will. It all made for strange, dreamlike memories, for all that it has only been a few years past.

He feels like a very old twenty five most times. He shouldn’t be this age and so tired.

Story is here | Art is here | Reblog on Tumblr here *** Title: Take Me Up (cast me away) Author: sacredraisincakes Artist: Athena Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur Rating: Explicit Word count: 58,975 Summary: In an effort to ease tensions between the kingdoms of Albion, Arthur plans a summit to bring together each of the monarchs to create a treaty between them. But schemes from within his own kingdom force him to change his plans ever so slightly.

"No one will believe us."

"They will... We'll start now, and over the next few weeks make it more and more obvious, until the moment we announce our engagement... Then once our visitors are gone, we simply end the betrothal. Everything goes back to the way it was."Edits for the main houses of sparringett's epic Merlin/GoT crossover fic (to be posted later, hopefully).

Story is here | Art is here | Reblog on Tumblr here *** Title: I Don't Know How to Start Author: thetreeofwillow Artist: Shadow_Hole Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur. Other characters: Gwen, Gaius, Morgana Rating: Mature Word count: 38,605 Summary: When Merlin collapses in a long forgotten hallway, Arthur has to fight for his life.

With Camelot still sitting on the edge of destruction following the dragon’s attack, Arthur should be preoccupied with reconstruction and resource management. Instead, Merlin has taken ill, and for some reason, Arthur can’t keep his mind off him.

What is Arthur to do with his kingdom in tatters, his whole world view shifting and his closest relationships rocking closely held beliefs? How is he to handle this while being drawn ever closer to Merlin? Merlin, whose condition is worsening by the day.

Story is here | Art is here | Reblog on Tumblr here *** Title: Sacrificing All Within Me, To Save Us Author: LadyDanielle Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon Rating: Explicit Word count: 55,286 Summary: In his second year as King of Camelot, Arthur has legalized magic and prospered the kingdom with Merlin's guidance. But rumors spread that Arthur is just a puppet under Merlin's control. Arthur begins to doubt himself - maybe he’s depending too much on Merlin's ideas instead of his own judgment. How can he push past expectations to rule as he chooses, including taking Merlin as his consort openly if he can’t rely on his own decisions.

To prove himself, Arthur makes a risky choice that could be the fall of Camelot. He decides to find out the hard way.

Story is here | Reblog on Tumblr here *** Title: Fate has made you so Author: slantedknitting Artist: LFB72 Pairings/Characters: Arthur/Merlin, Arthur/Elena Rating: Explicit Word count: 29,351 Summary: It’s 1953, and Arthur is a young, up-and-coming architect working on rebuilding London. All he wants is to be successful and live his life in peace and quiet. All his boss wants is to find a good match for his daughter Elena, and he thinks he’s found that match in Arthur. Arthur agrees to go out with her to get ahead at the firm, but the person he’s really interested in is her friend Merlin, and it turns out Elena has her own purposes for being with Arthur.

Story is here | Art is here | Reblog on Tumblr here *** Title: Contact High Author: Leandra Artist: Papysanzo Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur Rating: Explicit Word count: 84,292 Summary: After a toxic relationship, Arthur is afraid of getting hurt again, but then he meets Gwen, a scriptwriter he collaborates with in one of his film classes. To win her heart, he plans to cook her the best vegan food she has ever had. The idea would be brilliant, but Arthur is neither vegan, nor can he cook. In a desperate move, he enlists the help of Merlin, the obnoxious barista who works at his favourite coffee shop by day, and is a vegan food vlogger by night.

With his past as a young offender, and a history of addiction, Merlin can’t find a job as a chef, and his dream of opening his own restaurant someday seems unreachable. He pours all his passion into his food videos, but while his recipes and personality have what it takes, his video making skills are subpar at best.

Arthur and Merlin put their animosity aside and strike a deal: Merlin will cook for Gwen, and Arthur will claim he made the food, while in exchange, Arthur will help Merlin make better food videos. It seems the perfect way to meet everyone's needs …

Story is here | Art is here | Reblog on Tumblr here *** Title: Where Gods Go Artist: mirayladraws Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur Rating: Mature Word count: N/A - Art Summary: When Arthur Pendragon gets read in on the Animus project, the last thing he expects is to fall in love and get pulled into a war between Assassins and Templars.

Art is here | Reblog on Tumblr here *** Title: Dave Author: Camelittle Artist: LFB72 Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur, side Gwen/Lancelot, side Morgana/Gwaine/Leon, early Merlin/Will, Various UK Panel Show Hosts, OCs, Rating: Teen and Up Word count: 60,342 Summary: Merlin - lover of crunchy fried snacks and secret admirer of his straight flat mate, Arthur - never expected to have a career in comedy. But after trying stand-up on a successful open mic night at university, he finds himself hooked. He and Arthur run a successful late night talk radio for a show for a while, but Arthur’s father intervenes. After a misunderstanding forces them into conflict, Merlin vows never to see Arthur again, to protect his own soft, pathetic, pining heart. Which would be fine, if the UK comedy circuit weren’t so small. But for some reason, they keep bumping into one another - at comedy festivals, and on radio and TV panel shows - and despite everything, the chemistry that made their radio show so popular in the distant past grows stronger than ever.

Story is here | Art is here | Reblog on Tumblr here *** Title: Reluctantly in Love Author: chaosgenes Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, minor Lancelot/Guinevere Rating: Explicit Word count: 29,923 Summary: Arthur has waited for Naming Day all his life, but could not be more disappointed when he finds out who the Soul Stone names for him. It isn’t the prisoner he meets in the dungeons, but his heart aches for him anyway.

Merlin has never thought about soulmates until they come knocking at his door in Ealdor. Convinced that there’s something wrong with the Soul Stone, he travels to magic-banned Camelot to end its influence. He never thought that he would be enraptured by the crown prince who comes to interrogate him.

Story and Art are here | Reblog on Tumblr here *** Title: Of Oaths Made and Broken Author: Zorbo_Jorks Artist: aueth Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur, Gwaine/Mithian, Elena/Vivian, ft. The Knights, Gwen, Uther, and Morgause Rating: Teen and Up Word count: 48,323 Summary: Kilgwan just smiled— a gleeful presentation of far too many jagged teeth. He leaned forward on his throne and sang, “When the five of you I last did see, five promises you made to me! Three promises are broken now— one yet to test and one still sound.”

Arthur growled, and Morgana made a similar noise beside him.

“Are you serious?” she asked, “That was years ago!”

“A word given is a word to keep,” the creature sang back, ignoring the table’s shouts of dismay, “You sow lost words— dark gifts you reap.”

--------------

As children, Arthur, Morgana, Gwen, Elyan, and Leon made vows to a creature named Kilgwan in the catacombs of Camelot.

Years later, on the even of Arthur's prospective betrothal, they are whisked away to make ammends for breaking them. Merlin and Gwaine must make up for the prince's sudden absence by disguising the latter as Arthur to court Princesses Mithian, Vivian, and Elena in his place, all while Merlin tries to find Arthur and his friends before any ill befalls them.

Amid this, Morgause schemes to kill the Pendragons and Merlin pines for his prince, convinced his love cannot be.

It takes very little for the delicate web of problems to fall into chaos.

Story and Art are here | Reblog on Tumblr here *** Title: All Winding Paths Lead Back Author: Imagined Artist: feuxx Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur Rating: Teen and Up Word count: 76,250 Summary: “You’ll give me magical training?” Merlin asks.

Arthur smiles. “Yes, and training in courtly etiquette. I imagine Ealdor doesn’t have nobles?”

“We don’t have nobles, but we do have pigs. And chickens,” Merlin says. When Arthur raises his eyebrows at him, Merlin flushes heavily with embarrassment. “Oh, shut up. My lord.”

“Don’t talk to your king like that,” Arthur says, but he doesn’t actually seem very upset about it, even though Merlin sort of wants to hit himself in the face. “Welcome to Camelot, sorcerer-apprentice Merlin of Ealdor.”

Or: Merlin is sixteen when he comes to Camelot, vying for the new position of court sorcerer that has opened under King Arthur—a noble king, golden and lionhearted, who is trying to legalise magic in all of Albion. Of course, Merlin doesn't expect to be chosen.

But he is.

Story is here | Art is here | Reblog on Tumblr here *** Title: And All the Bells Were Ringing (ARTWORK) Artist: SerpentineWizard12 Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur Rating: Explicit Word count: N/A - Art Summary: “When he grew tired of swimming, Arthur waded out onto the bank and flung himself down without self-consciousness, lying back on his elbows between the roots of the nearest tree. Merlin lingered in the water for some minutes longer, watching the prince’s movements out of the corner of his eye, the way the water collected in the dips and hollows of his body and threatened to run all the way down. There was something unguarded about Arthur when he was like this; Merlin could think of only a handful of moments in which he had seen the prince without his veneer of distance and authority, and each one stood out in his memory like keys to a puzzle box, unravelling the complexity of Arthur’s personality one layer at a time.

Story is here | Reblog on Tumblr here

#after camlann big bang #acbb #acbb 2023 #bbc merlin #merlin fanfic #merlin fanart

[for-a-longlongtime]

Important TF2 question (to me)...is the Standard Heating Oil hat still a thing for Frankie? Did he leave it in South America? Does he still wear hats? His hair is still long, right? RIGHT?!

These are the questions I'm fixated on should a sequel happen.

Jess! Do you know that you're the first person who submitted an Ask to me here on Tumblr? I'm so excited about it, makes me feel like I'm finally one of the cool kids 😅

His hair is definitely still long. He's probably tried some shorter cuts over time, but going to the barbershop is one of those things he often just doesn't get to - so the extra curls and length are often there because he's long overdue for a cut. That's also why the hat (or at least A hat) is still around a lot, because if he's headed out to work or to meet somebody it's just easier to throw on a hat than bother with hair products.

Every now and then he'll have a moment of hair envy though when watching Santiago. Their hairtypes are very different, but you know that Pope is a lot more vain - pretty boy will pop into a salon every 3 weeks to get his hair cut, facial hair trimmed, the works. Always looking very put together. It's not like Frankie couldn't afford that or doesn't have the time - he just forgets, or feels like it's a hassle to go that often.

Also, don't underestimate him. He knows what the sight of those curls do to people. He's not cocky about it, but he knows. Most of his bed partners through the years will have made at least a few remarks about it, always with praise. If you'd ask him about it, he probably wouldn't say it out loud but his hair at this length, just like in the photo? It's the perfect length to grab ahold of his curls when he goes down on you.

When he's eating you out, that's all he's focused on and he doesn't need any further encouragement. But he loves it how your grip on his hair will tighten when his tongue pushes right there right there, harder Frankie, please, fuckkk. Inevitably you'll be so far gone that your tugs on his hair won't be as gentle as they started out, but that's exactly where his sweet spot is. When your fingers have slid deep into his hair, clutching his curls, and you just pull at him so hard that it makes his head jerk back and eyes close for a moment... It's the only thing that'll interrupt his tongue on you, but that's okay - because the way his hot breath stutters against you in that moment is so good. So you do it again, feel how it makes shivers run down his spine. Having his hair pulled like that just shoots straight to his dick, and now he has to really work on not letting that distract him as you're whimpering under him. So who needs haircuts every three weeks when he can have all of this - the tugging and oh so good flashes of pain that turn him on -, just by keeping his hair long?

The Standard Heating Oil hat, though. That one is special because it fits him just right, even after all these years, like a perfectly worn in sweater, and somehow it will never accidentally fall off unlike other caps. Not even after that helicopter crash in the Andes, you know? Fucking magic. He stole it from Pope years ago when he'd crashed on his couch after a night out and just never gave it back. There's no long or even overly sentimental reason he would offer for why this one is his favorite - it just is. Plus it'll make Pope grin at him every so often as he'll call Frankie a pendejo and ask when the fuck he is getting his hat back, which will never happen, because they both know that that hat became Frankie's the moment he put it on.

What the fuck, how did I just word vomit 600 words on Frankie's hair and hat before it's even 10 am? I must've blacked out there for a bit. Thank you for the ask, @rhoorl! <3

Pssst @legendary-pink-dot, Bush Pilot Hair alert.

#frankie morales #francisco morales #santiago garcia #frankie morales x reader #triple frontier #pedro pascal character thoughts #the catfish pond degree program

[woozivrse]

Hiding the Truth, Pretending I'm Fine

Jeon Wonwoo x gn! reader

Genre: Hanahaki AU, college AU, fluff, usual angst that comes with the AU, happy ending!

Words: 4k and some change!

Warnings: vomiting, doctors, surgery mention(doesn't happen! don't worry<3), implied depression? reader feels down and i kinda wrote it in a way that it could be read as depression..., death mentions(one a joke at the start, and the other being apart of the whole AU thing..., cursing, my ocs Mai and Kimi(ok my friends oc...) use different pronouns, Mai(She/He) and Kimi(She/They), blood

Notes: sooo... if you've read this before you are either 1) a friend i had read this for school or 2) you are my old english teacher, in which, hi. why are you here. please leave. please. aka i am repurposing this for tumblr, because i am pretty proud of it, meaning please be gentle on me. i am just a tiny tiny child. but tell me what you think! tell me if i missed any warnings, and stuff like that! also, stole the title from bittersweet. you'll see why! enjoy<3

You had been in love with Jeon Wonwoo for who knows how long, but you hadn't known it. Until you started coughing. You wish it had been easier.

❀DAY 1, SUNDAY 8:30AM, YOUR APARTMENT

“Ooh my baby,” You cooed. “How's my little baby~ Hm? How are you Hoshi? What about you Byeol~~ Thank you for the gift~~”

Kimiko, your high school friend slash roommate, burst into your room. “Stop being a crazy cat person! Get up and out, Wonwoo is waiting for you,”

“Already? I just woke up–”

“Oh, no he's not here, here. He's just waiting for you like, in general y'know?”

“Die,”

“Not how you talk to your bestest friend in the world,” She pouted.

“That would be Wonwoo,”

“Bestest roommate in the world?”

“Mai.”

“Fuck youuuu,”

❀9:25AM, ROCKET CAFE

Sitting down, Wonwoo placed an iced latte in front of you. Every Sunday, the two of you met at either the library or the cafe to plan your week out together. This week was the cafe. He stared at you, watching you work.

“Stop watching me, creep,” you grinned, tapping your foot against Wonwoo. “C’mon, I know I’m pretty ‘n all but you really should stop staring at me,”

“So full of yourself,” He teased. “You’ve got something, here I’ll get it.”

You rolled your eyes at Wonwoo pretending to fix your hair. Always trying to “fix” something, your hair, your clothes. You knew you weren't a messy person. What you didn't know was why Wonwoo did it. Sighing, you just let him fiddle with your hair. As he did that, you stole his phone, unlocking it to check his calendar for the week.

“Boo,” you pouted. “We barely match up this month, outside of class. Look! We don’t match this week and next week we match once, on Friday night,”

Seemingly done with your hair, he checked your planner. “Oh, you’re right. Isn’t that during the get together Cheol is holding?”

“Oh I think it is,” you sulked. “No free time for just us! Oh I am in pain, jail for a thousand years!”

He chuckled. “It’s fine, we can sneak some time in,”

“Not at a Cheol party. I’m gonna be tipsy and you’re probably going to be on babysitting duty,”

“Babysitting you,”

Grumbling, you stood from the chair and fell onto Wonwoo's shoulders like a lump of nothing, smacking him a little. Vernon, your mutual friend who worked at the cafe, took a picture and sent it to their group chat without the two of you, followed by a text saying “yo right in front of my salad?”. The group chat exploded with messages with variants of “they’re seriously not dating?” and one text from Joshua, one of the other workers at the cafe, saying “get back to work!!”.

❀DAY 4, WEDNESDAY 12:30PM, ON THE WAY TO CLASS

This, you decided early on in your college days, was your favorite part of college. Walking with Wonwoo to whatever class you two shared, was great(unless the two of you didn't share a class, in which he would walk you to whatever class you had after the two of you had lunch).

You looked at him, seeing him staring at you, again. “Hey, what's with you looking at me so often, huh?” You raised a brow. “What, do you like me or something?”

He smiled, “Sure, something like that,”

Your face warmed, you could just feel the heat go to your ears.

You whipped your head away from him before saying. “Oh– oh just shut it! Don't even joke about that, Wonwoo!”

And then you started coughing, which granted, the weather had been getting colder, but you started coughing hard. Leaning down, you started coughing into your elbow before pulling away and seeing… petals? Bloody, purple flower petals. You quickly grabbed them before shoving them into your pocket.

Wonwoo put his hand on the small of your back, rubbing it. “Woah, hey, are you alright? Do you need water, anything? I’ll take you home if you need,”

You nodded, your throat still feeling a little raw. “Um… yeah, water would be nice, please,”

He handed you his water bottle, yours being at home. “Here, just drink from it. I’m fine without it for now,”

You sent him an appreciative look before downing the water. “Okay, I think I’ll be good for class now,”

He looked at you, obviously worried. “If you're sure… but I’m taking you home if you start coughing like that again,”

❀1:47, CLASS

You started coughing again.

There was no reason for it, you had just caught Wonwoo once again looking at you weirdly, causing your heart to flutter just a bit before you had berated yourself, thinking, Stop it, stop it! He doesn't like me…he just doesn't. And then the coughing happened again.

It had been so bad that the professor had stopped class and asked if you had needed to go. Wonwoo answered that question by grabbing your stuff and taking you out of the class. Oh well, you thought, Guess going to that class was for nothing.

Once you had finished coughing, you again found bloody petals. What the fuck…

“Hey, are you sure you're okay?” Wonwoo looked really worried now, placing a hand on your forehead, then cheeks. “You certainly don't seem okay, but you’re not warm or anything,”

You shook your head. “I think it might be the weather. You know I get a little iffy around this time of year,”

He hesitantly accepted your reason, knowing it was true, just usually happened later in the year. He shrugged his jacket off, placing it on your shoulders. “Well, keep this on until we reach your place, I don't want you actually getting sick,”

❀2:07PM, YOUR APARTMENT

Sitting on your bed, your eyebrows scrunched up before you sighed. Just, what was happening to you? Coughing up flowers– that's something out of a storybook, not real life.

Your heart fluttered when you thought about Wonwoo, but why. Why was your heart doing this, why, why, why. Wonwoo was so sweet to you, that's why, you reasoned. Right? You…didn't like him, did you? You couldn't.

You started coughing, again. Running to the bathroom, you knelt over the toilet.

❀2:34PM

Kimi sang. “Your favorite dancer is home~”

Kimi stepped into the kitchen, dropping her bag into the floor, before calling your name. “Hellooo?”

Silence filled the apartment, which left Kimi worried. Walking through the hallway, Kimi knocked on your bedroom door, opening it when no noise happened. Nothing.

“What the…” Kimi muttered. “Ugh, where’d I put my phone… dance practice you thot!”

Dragging herself back to the kitchen, she shuffled through their duffel bag. Calling your phone, rings came from the bathroom. Making her way to the bathroom, Kimi barged in. There you were, in all your shitty, sweaty glory was you, throwing up into the toilet.

“Fuck!” Kimi dropped to her knees, rubbing your back. “You should’ve told us you were sick. One of us would’ve stayed home for you,”

You whined. “Kimi… it’s fine both of you were busy, I couldn’t let you guys stay home. Besides, this happened during class.”

“The one you have with Wonwoo?”

Nodding, you straightened. “Mm… he brought me home,”

“What happened?”

“I… um… started coughing up flower petals…” You muttered.

“You what?”

Sighing, you reached your hand into your pockets and brought out the bloody flower petals.

“What the– Why are they bloody!?”

“I started coughing these up,” You started to explain. “Look, they’re in the toilet bowl too. I… I asked Sayu, before I went into the bathroom, she said they were bittersweet or something like that…”

“You should go to the ER! Or at least the doctor– you don’t know what this is,”

“I will, I will. I was going to call her after this whole…fit,”

❀DAY 6, FRIDAY 1:15PM, SEOUL DOCTOR

“So, what’s the reason for this appointment?” Doctor Kim asked, checking the files in hand.

“Um…so the other day, Wednesday, I uh… started coughing flower petals,” You explained, pulling the petals out. “They were um, bloody.”

Clicking her tongue, Doctor Kim examined a petal. “Oh dear…I see,”

“Why’d it happened? How’d it even get in my body?”

Doctor Kim sighed, pulling up an article on the computer in the room. “I’m afraid there’s not much research on this. I’ve never personally seen it but I know doctors who have diagnosed it. We’re calling it hanahaki, from the Japanese words 花 and 吐く, flower and to vomit. We’ve noticed that it’s from unrequited love,” she glanced at you and then the flower petals, “Do you…do you love someone? Do you believe they don’t love you back?”

You played with your hair, suddenly the floor looking interesting. “Um…I…I guess,”

“You guess?”

“I do. I…kinda just realized it and then spiraled for a little. On Wednesday, when I first coughed them up.”

“I see. I’m going to give you options and I will definitely push you towards a specific one. But I want you to know that it is entirely up to you, what you want to do,” sighing, she leaned onto her knees. “You could confess, and if your feelings get reciprocated the flowers will leave your body through a few days. If they don’t, then your lungs will grow with flowers faster and you’ll suffocate. If you do, come to the ER immediately.

“The last option is surgery, we remove the flowers and any roots in your lungs. But it’s a complicated surgery, and if successful you lose all memories of said person and you’ll never feel anything for them ever again. It’s a last resort for a reason, and if you even think they return your feelings, confess. I mean it, you need to confess.”

❀DAY 8, SUNDAY 11:37AM, YOUR ROOM

Laying on your bed, you pulled your blankets over your shoulders, tucking yourself in. Getting up seemed to take up so much more energy these days, it was so much effort, effort you couldn't seem to put in.

Your phone rang, and you left it. It stopped for a few seconds before ringing again. You sighed as it stopped again. It pinged a few times, two followed by one more before your phone silenced. You couldn't bring yourself to check, even though you knew it was Wonwoo, you set his notifications to have a special ringer. You were just… tired.

Nonu ❙

Hey, are you okay?

??? Hello??? You always answer, are you sick??

??? I’m coming over.

❀12:42PM

Wonwoo knocked on your door, before opening it. Seeing you still tucked into your bed confused him.

“I know I've asked this a couple times, but are you okay?” He sat on your bed, patting your leg. “Hello? Have you not woken up just yet?”

You hummed lightly. “No…I’m tired,”

He raised an eyebrow. “Do you want to be alone? You seem…well tired,”

You hummed again. He couldn't tell what you were feeling, facing away from him and barely saying anything.

“I’ll go, but I hope you feel better. I’ll get Mai and Kimi to take care of you,”

❀DAY 10, TUESDAY 11:23AM

Knocking on the door, Mai entered the room after a beat.

“You haven’t woken up yet?” She questioned, sitting on the bed. “You ok? I haven’t seen you wake up later than 9 since we were high schoolers,”

“Maiiii,” You whined. “I’m so TIRED, I can't even explain why!”

“The petals?”

“Of course, it's the– How do you know about them?”

He shrugged. “Kimi told me a little, sorry.”

“It's fine. I mean, you would've found out anyways,”

“Yeah, I would've. What happened, like why are they a thing? Kimi only mumbled something about petals and blood and purple– good color by the way,”

“I mean, the doctor said it's this stupid thing called hanahaki–”

“Like, hana as in 花, as in flower?”

“Uh, I think– STOP you're distracting me!” You jumped out from the covers.

“Yeah, but that got you out of bed. That was the goal~”

“You are the worst,”

Pulling you by the hands, Mai led you to the dining room.

“Our zombie lives!” cheered Kimi.

Flipping Kimi off, you pried yourself from Mai’s arms. “What was that for? I was gonna get out of bed eventually, it's only–”

“Only 11:23!” Kimi cut her off. “You are two hours late youngster!”

“To what?”

“To civilization! You have never–”

“Once woken up after 9, yes I am aware,”

“So you are aware we were worried, right?” Kimi huffed. “Now, eat! You are a growing child, no child of mine will starve!”

“I'm 20. We are the same age,”

“And,” Mai cut in. “I'm 21. I say you eat and get yourself freshened up. We are having a roommates day out,”

“What happened to my childhood friend,” you sulked.

“She has gone nowhere, I have always been your mother,” Mai chided. “Now eat, you actually look like a zombie,”

❀12:15PM, HALF MOON CAFE

“So, young child of mine,” Kimi started, placing the group’s order down. “Why have you been coughing up a storm, and why are there bloody flowers everywhere? You only mumbled something about them, and I want to know why!”

The three of them were in a small cafe they frequented often, mainly due to your part-time job there.

“Still can’t believe you guys got me here on my day off,” you sighed, playing with your drink. “It’s nothing. I already went to a doctor, she said it was ‘Hanahaki’ or something,”

“Hana as–”

“Yes hana as in 花, as in flower. Why did you both ask the same question?”

“I needed clarification,” Kimi shrugged. “But like, what’s the haki part? Like what even is hanahaki?”

“The haki is 吐く, like to vomit,”

“It’s a disease where flowers grow in your- in your lungs?!” Mai read from his phone, head whipping to you. “And you could die?”

“Not so loud– lord why did we go here,”

“I’m sorry– you’re upset I’m being loud? You could die, do not tell me to be quiet?”

You sighed, “Look, this is why I didn’t want to tell anyone! They get all dramatic, it’s not a big deal. It’s due to unrequited love, so all I have to do is unfall in love.”

“Uh, speaking as the person who’s in a committed relationship,” Kimi injected. “Impossibly hard. Like, I’m talking insanely hard. I mean–”

“We get it,” Mai said, cupping her face. “Look, it even took me a while to get over my first ex, and he stalked me! I’m with Kimi, there are easier ways to do this.”

“Except there’s not! It's either I unfall in love, confess, or get surgery! And, mind you, that surgery will remove all my memories of said person and remove all my feelings. It’s not like I can do that. I can’t lose someone I’m in love with– and I can’t lose my feelings! How am I supposed to live without being happy, or sad, or–”

“Then confess! They’ll reciprocate them, I’m sure.” Mai held your hands. “Please, I can’t lose you. We can’t lose you, you’re too important to us.”

“I am not confessing–”

“Confessing?” A voice cut in, Wonwoo. “Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”

“Wonwoo! No, no! I haven’t been avoiding you, I’ve–”

“Been busy.” He rolled his eyes. “Look, if this was over some guy, you could've told me. I would've gotten it and backed off,”

You stood up. “It is not! Look, we went over schedules– we were both booked! You cannot say I have been ignoring you,”

“Does that mean you can’t answer my texts? Or calls?” He argued, walking away from you and out of the cafe.

“Oh don’t act like you don’t do the same to me. How come you’re acting like I’m doing it on purpose!” You followed.

“I haven’t ghosted you, never for days on end!”

“Oh sure,” You stopped and rolled your eyes. “I’m not arguing about this, not in public,”

“Oh so you’re running away, like always?” Wonwoo turnt around. “Like you always do when something happens, like the coward you are?”

Your eyes watered as you stumbled back like you were struck. “Fine! Yes, I’m running away, just like you said! Just like I always have, according to you, but don’t you dare try to come talk to me.”

❀DAY 13, FRIDAY 7:37PM, CHOI SEUNGCHEOL’S APARTMENT

You and Kimi walked into Seungcheol’s party, being eagerly greeted by Kim Mingyu.

He cheered both of your names. “Let me get you drinks, come in! I’m not allowed to help you with your coats, Cheol is worried about me breaking something again.”

Laughing, Kimi pat him on the arm. “It’s fine! I’m here to be sober, drunk watch and all that,”

“Mai forced her to be my babysitter,” You sulked. “Like I’m gonna get drunk off my ass or something…”

Mingyu and Kimi gave each other a knowing look. Like you hadn't been upset since the fight. Kimi pushed you further into the house, hearing the chatter of the others. Mai and Kimi figured it was best to get you to talk to someone, and what better way than to get her drunk with friends?

❀11:34PM

Bad idea. Mai and Kimi both forgot one important thing about a drunk you. You were an emotional drunk. Meaning, right now? You were sobbing your ass off, drunk, over Wonwoo.

Kimi could barely understand you because you were muffled by–

“Fuck,” Kimi muttered, launching herself towards you. “Spit them out, I fucking mean it you drunk fuck. Spit. Them. Out.”

You listened. Saliva and blood covered petals fell into Kimi’s hand. You fell into Kimi’s arms, still sobbing.

“He hates me Kimi! He does. He hasn't talked to me in 3 days! The longest we’ve gone is probably around a couple hours! Never this long,”

Kimi sighed, petting your hair. It pained them all to see her like this.

“He doesn't hate you, yknow,” Mingyu said, also patting you on the back. “He’s just upset right now. He’s probably also crying right now,”

“I don't want him crying over me!” You sobbed even harder.

Seungkwan hit Mingyu away, clicking his tongue. “Ignore him, Mingyu’s dumb. We know this. Wonwoo’s upset, but he’s not crying. He's probably thinking about what happened and trying to figure out how to apologize to you,”

“But he doesn't have to apologize, I was the one being a bitch!”

“All of you leave her alone,” Jeonghan swatted everyone besides Kimi. “Sweetheart, honey, drink this,”

He handed you a cup of water, urging you to drink. You tried to drink it, but instead a full flower came out of her mouth.

“FUCK,” Kimi shouted. “Fuck fuck- where’s their phone? Hurry one of you, give it to me!”

Kimi dialed your doctor, explaining that you had actually coughed up a flower. “C’mon hun, c’mon. Get up, we have to visit someone,”

“What's happening?” Mingyu questioned. “Kimi– what was that? Why did a flower come out of their mouth? Kimi?”

“Don't, don't worry. Just call Mai for me, tell her we're at the hospital. She’ll know why,” Kimi explained. “Sorry to bring the mood down,”

“Don't be. Now go, go! It seems urgent,” Cheol pushed the two of you out of the apartment.

❀11:48PM, SEOUL HOSPITAL

Your doctor sighed, closing the door behind her and facing Kimi and Mai. “I’m to assume you two are their roommates, meaning they told one of you at least a little?”

“Uhm, yeah,” Kimi fidgeted. “She told me a little, just like, uh she was coughing flowers cuz of something called hanahaki? Uhm.. and that it was a disease caused by–”

“Unrequited love, yes. However, that’s not something we’re entirely sure about,”

“What do you mean, not entirely sure about? Did you tell her something incorrect about a disease that could kill her!?” Mai shouted.

“Yes and no,” Doctor Kim sighed. “Look, ladies, hanahaki is rare– we’re not sure about everything. But, there's a theory, that I have personally searched into, that it’s not unrequited love. More like, insecurity in the afflicted. The flowers, do you know what they are and what they mean?”

“Oh! Uhm, I think I remember our friend saying they were bittersweet? And that they meant truth? Truthfulness?”

“Then, there. They likely need to tell the truth, if the theory holds up. Either way though, one of you should get whoever they’re crushing, or in love with, here as soon as you can. I will make an exception for you three, and only you three, to be here after hours if they have not gained consciousness. The other should stay with them. I don't want any surprises,”

❀11:57PM

“Where are they!?” Wonwoo bursted into the hospital lobby.

Ignoring the onlooking staff, he went straight towards Mai.

“Mai, you cannot call me, say my best friend is in the hospital, and then not give me context,” he said, holding the dead tired girl by the shoulders.

“You hung up on me right after I said they were here! I’m not calling you back and getting you into an accident– we do not need that! Now, come. I'll bring you to them, your job is to get them to actually tell you the truth. I don't care what it takes, they have to.”

Leading the barely taller man, Mai opened the door to your hospital room. Pulling Kimi out, Mai quickly pat you on the head with a quiet, “Confess,”

“Wonu?” You croaked.

“Hey,” He sat on the edge of her bed. “What happened? Why are you here– why have you been avoiding me? I thought we told each other everything,”

He looks heartbroken, you thought, heart clenching at it. “It- it wasn't your fault, Wonu. I just- if I told you, I’d lose you. I can’t do that,”

“But you're here, in a hospital. Mai said you could die. Why do you think I can live without you?”

“I-”

“Please. You’re my best friend, I can’t lose you,”

Bursting into tears, you sobbed. “Exactly! I’m your best friend, that's all I’ll ever be! Wonwoo, have you ever thought I wanted to be more than friends with you?”

“Wh–”

“It’s you, it has always been you! I just had a shitty way of finding out, and now I’m dying! I don't want to die. I want to live out my life with you, and Mai, and Kimi, and and just– everyone! But if I get the surgery I lose my best friend– the love of my life! It's either I lose you by confessing, or I lose you by forgetting you, or I lose everyone by dying! I don't want this–”

“Hey, hey,” Wonwoo wiped the tears from your face. “Who said you’d ever lose me? Remember, I will always be here for you. Always. Besides, I’ve loved you ‘since forever’. You have nothing to fear,”

Your eyes overflowed with tears, and your mouth, flowers. Calling a doctor, Wonwoo was quickly kicked from the room. Worried, he quickly walked to the lobby.

“Wonwoo!” Kimi exclaimed, bouncing anxiously towards him. “Where- where are they? Why are you out here?”

“Well, I got kicked out. We confessed but then they started coughing again and–”

“You finally confessed? Like, for real none of that ‘I love you, as a friend’ bullshit?”

“Yes– why is that what you're focusing on? They started coughing flowers again, Kimi,”

“I know, I know, but I’ve been waiting for this since I met you two. That was our first year of high school!”

“Stop fighting you two,” Mai butt in. “What happened? Why are you out here?”

❀DAY 14, SATURDAY 12:21AM

After explaining everything, the three of them went to hunt Doctor Kim down. Meaning, they were waiting outside of your room.

Walking out of your room, Doctor Kim turnt around and jumped. “Oh, you three scared me. Sorry, sorry. I should’ve told you to go home. But, they're fine. They’re resting now, you can visit when the hospital opens up again and you can see them then,”

“We can’t leave her!” Kimi whisper shouted, still aware of the fact that you were likely sleeping.

“No, you can’t but you will. I understand you’re scared about them, but they’ll be fine. They’ll have to stay here for another few days, but it’s just so we can monitor them. You can visit, but only during visiting hours. Now shoo, you are college students here on a Saturday,”

❀1:19PM, YOUR HOSPITAL ROOM

Wonwoo walked into the room, with a bouquet of aster flowers. Chuckling Wonwoo put them on the bedside table.

“Sorry, I know it’s a little soon,” Wonwoo sat. “but I asked your friend, um, Sayu? She said you thought they were pretty, the flowers, that is. Aster, she called them.”

You laughed softly. “It’s ok Wonu, they’re lovely. I love them, thank you,”

He smiled. “I’m glad. I know we only just established everything but I want to ask, can I be your boyfriend?”

You laughed, and Wonwoo pouted at that. “Sorry, sorry I’m not laughing at you. Never at you. Yes, of course you can be my boyfriend. Why’d I ever say no, I don’t know.”

THE END<3

#seventeen fluff #seventeen scenarios #seventeen x reader #seventeen imagines #seventeen angst #seventeen #svt fluff #svt scenarios #svt x reader #svt imagines #svt angst #wonwoo fluff #wonwoo scenarios #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo imagines #wonwoo angst #jeon wonwoo fluff #jeon wonwoo scenarios #jeon wonwoo x reader #jeon wonwoo imagines #jeon wonwoo angst

[bellaxgiornata]

Falling For the Devil [Part nineteen: "The Time You Almost Told Him"]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Summary: Matt accompanies you as your date to a charity event where you're being honored for a journalism award.

Or

Absolutely everything has you nervous–your speech, how handsome Matt looks in a tux, Katy's inappropriate silent commentary, Jessica Manning (a news reporter who always has it out for you), and the fact that Matt apparently notices something off with your body every damn time you almost blurt 'I love you.'

[Series of one-shots about Reader meeting, falling for, and dating Matt Murdock.]

Warnings: 18+ for this series; contains humor, fluff, romance, angst, smut (like...a lot of it later in the series), language, some violence

Word Count: 4.3k

a/n: Another fluffy installment here with Matt being sweet (and Katy being Katy). You can find the full list of the installments for this series on tumblr here! There's a total of 75 of these bad boys I'm still trying to transfer over from AO3...

"...and I just want to thank the Pelman Foundation for honoring me tonight with this incredible recognition, though I certainly had some help from my sources when it came to outing the corrupt elite in our city," you said, throat feeling uncomfortably dry as you neared the end of your speech. "And honestly, they're as much to thank for that as I am."

You were trying hard not to focus on the many eyes staring up at you as your hands fidgeted nervously, toying with the fabric of your dress. You felt like you were going to throw up right on everyone who was standing just below the stage you were on with the way your stomach had been twisting the moment you'd stepped your shaky, heeled feet onto the stage. Maybe you'd even manage to vomit on the foundation owner standing just your left if you did, and that thought only had you rushing faster through the rest of your speech. Silently you thanked whatever deity above that you'd refrained from a drink before you came up here. That would have made things worse. 

"When I chose journalism as my profession, I honestly had no idea how often I'd be chased by guys with guns wanting to kill me," you nervously joked. 

A few people laughed, but a multitude made faces at the comment and your instinct to bolt quickly set in. Your eyes darted to Matt, who was smiling in amusement up at you among the sea of people– he was the real reason those guys with guns had been thrown behind bars and had never managed to do more than try to intimidate you these past few months. Really, he deserved this recognition. But he had practically forced you to promise him that you'd in no way make a public statement linking you to his alter ego for your own safety.

"So–so thank you, again," you stammered, eyes darting to the foundation owner now as you stepped away from the microphone, desperate to get off of the stage.

Polite applause erupted in the ballroom and you quickly shook the foundation owner's hand once again, giving him one more nervous 'thank you' before you and your trembling legs hurried across the stage as fast as possible without looking too ridiculous.

Hands shaking just a bit as the adrenaline still surged through your nervous body, smiling politely at those you passed who offered a friendly congratulations, you carefully made your way back towards Matt from across the ballroom. His dark glasses were covering his eyes, but with the wide smile spread entirely across his face, you knew he was focused solely on you despite the room full of people you were slipping your way between as gracefully as you could. 

Your heels clicked along the wood floor with each step, the silk of your floor length black dress swishing softly across your legs. You'd picked silk intentionally for tonight, knowing how much Matt had seemed to enjoy it on you at Marci and Foggy's wedding. Since he could only feel what you were wearing, you’d found another way to dress for him–and he’d certainly complimented you on the dress a few times already this evening. 

And just like at Marci and Foggy's wedding, Matt looked heartbreakingly handsome in his tuxedo with the bow tie you'd helped him with earlier tonight. The coat fit him just right, his shoulders somehow looking even broader underneath it. Somehow the full ensemble made him look even more intimidating to you tonight. Your heart had been wildly beating in your chest when you'd first seen him open the door to his apartment, entirely in amazement that this man was accompanying you as your date tonight. Before the two of you had left for the event together, you had been almost more nervous to spend the evening with him than you were to give the brief acceptance speech you had just given.

"That was terrifying and I never want to do it again," you told Matt when you finally reached him, wringing your hands anxiously in front of yourself. 

"You were perfect," he told you, warmth and calm radiating from him as he reached a hand out, placing it gently on the small of your back. "Just as I said you'd be. I'm proud of you, sweetheart."

"I almost tripped going up those little stairs," you told him, stomach still twisting with nerves. 

"No one noticed," he assured you. 

Still wringing your hands in front of you, you tried to release a deep breath, but the exhale came out as shaky as your knees. Matt's hand on your back pulled you in towards him and you eagerly accepted the comforting embrace. To anyone else it probably looked like he was congratulating you, but you were grateful for the brief moment to bury your face into his neck and block out the room around you as you inhaled the faint warm, woodsy scent of his cologne while his strong arms held you to him. 

Slowly stepping out of his embrace a moment later, you tried to take another calming breath. "I don't know how you do it," you muttered.

His head tilted curiously to the side as he gazed back at you. "Do what?" he asked.

"The whole lawyer thing," you said, waving a hand at him. "Having to memorize your speeches and deliver them in front of so many people. And they're picking apart everything you say. Not to mention the consequences of fucking up are pretty big, too."

He chuckled lightly, his hand gently rubbing along your back. "Somehow you just managed to make me nervous for court on Tuesday," he teased.

"Sorry," you muttered. 

"I'm kidding," he answered with a smile. "I do get nervous, actually. I just hide it well. Plus knowing my client is innocent and having the evidence to back it up helps."

"You do everything well," you mumbled. Matt chuckled beside you and you blushed, realizing you said that aloud. "Sorry, I'm really focused on not throwing up right now."

"Yes, I've noticed," Matt said. "You just need to take a few deep breaths, sweetheart. You were great, really."

"I didn't say anything stupid like I did earlier to the senator, did I?" you asked him nervously. 

Matt barked out a laugh, the sound carrying as his head fell back along his shoulders. You frowned at his response, noticing a few eyes on the pair of you now.

" Matt ," you chided. 

He tried to recover, shaking his head as his laughter died down. "I'm sorry," he said, still smiling, "but you brought it back up. I can't believe you told the senator you thought Daredevil was probably 'a pretty cool dude' in defense of his vigilante endeavors."

A hand flew to your face and you groaned. "He's not being a pretty cool dude right now," you mumbled behind your hand, which only brought on another round of laughter from him beside you.

“Alright, I’ll stop laughing,” he promised, removing his hand from your back and offering you his arm instead. “Would you like to dance?”

Your hand dragged its way down your face and you studied his offered arm for a moment. “Can we…get some alcohol in me first?” you asked. “Now that I don’t need to worry about slurring my way through that speech?”

The smile never fell from Matt’s face, his arm still held out to you. “Seems a terrible way to try not to throw up,” he teased, “but yes, whatever you want. You are the woman of the hour.”

“Please do not say that,” you begged as you slipped your arm through his. “I would much prefer to fade into the background for the rest of the night.” 

You began to lead Matt towards the bar at the opposite end of the ballroom, careful to navigate the pair of you between the different small circles of conversing individuals gathered around the areas not filled in with tables. His cane was currently folded up in his right hand, allowing you to do most of the guiding, even if he did have his extra senses that he was pretending not to be using. 

“Why do you so often want to go unnoticed?” Matt asked curiously.

Caught off guard by the question, you turned a fraction towards him, your heel slipping along the floor and causing your ankle to twist uncomfortably. You would have fallen straight to the floor if Matt hadn’t instantly tightened his hold on your arm, his other hand that was holding his cane quickly darting out to grab your waist and steady you. Readjusting your foot, you slowly glanced up at Matt beside you as you regained your balance.

“Thanks,” you whispered.

He shot you a charming grin, his hand falling from your waist. “Anytime, Bambi,” he teased lightly.

You snorted inelegantly, noticing a tall, slender blonde nearby turning and shooting you a disgruntled look at the sound. Biting your lip, you threw a hand over your mouth and glanced away, carrying on leading the pair of you towards the bar.

“You never answered my question,” Matt pointed out.

“I just…don’t like the attention,” you answered him. “Not all of us are as charismatic and charming as you, Matt.”

“I think you certainly are,” he disagreed.

You couldn’t resist the laugh that came from you. “Pretty sure someone would be more inclined to describe me as awkward and socially-inept. And I am still waiting for you to realize that.”

“I’d be more inclined to say quirky and adorable,” Matt countered, shooting you another charming grin.

You couldn’t fight the smile that slid onto your face as you reached the bar. The pair of you ordered a drink, waiting for the bartender to make them. As you were about to open your mouth, attention returning to Matt, you felt an arm sling itself over your shoulder and you startled. Glancing to your right you spotted Katy with a drink in hand and a sly smile on her face.

“Congratulations lady,” she said. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks, Katy,” you told her. “I honestly can’t believe they picked me this year.”

“Oh, I can,” she replied. “You’ve been busting your ass chasing some big, dangerous stories all year long. But I meant I’m so proud of you for giving that speech up there. You did great and I’m sure you were fighting to not vomit on the head of the Pelman Foundation that was standing beside you the whole time.”

You rolled your eyes, handing Matt his drink from the bartender before accepting yours. “Yeah, and now I’m planning to drink off the lingering nerves,” you informed her.

Her attention shifted to Matt just in front of you, her smile still widely plastered across her face. “Hey, Matt,” she greeted him. “Been a few weeks since I last saw you. You treating my girl good? Because I’ll kick your ass if I have to,” she threatened him, raising her half-finished wine glass and pointing a finger at him firmly.

Matt only grinned in response. “Threatening a blind man, Katy?” he joked back.

“Yeah, I am,” she said with a shrug. “Equality. Don’t hurt my girl.”

“Katy,” you said, shooting her a look.

Matt’s free hand reached up, adjusting his dark glasses on his face as he smiled back at her, entirely unphased. “You know,” he began, something in his tone causing you to instantly narrow your eyes suspiciously at him, “our girl here said you seem to be under the impression I own a bakery?”

A hand flew to your mouth instantly, covering the laughs dying to break free from you. Your shoulders were shaking lightly as you fought them down. Beside you, Katy’s eyes widened in surprise.

“I just want to clarify that I’m a lawyer,” he continued, that charming fucking grin on his face. “Not really sure I’d know how to bake a cake.” His head turned towards you, the lights overhead glinting off the red of his glasses as he added, “Though I do appreciate a good cake.”

The laughter died in your throat, your eyes on him like a deer in the headlights. Katy beside you bit down on her lip, fighting back laughter at your discomfort and embarrassment now. 

“Good to know,” Katy said with a laugh, slapping you hard on the back. “Hope you both enjoy some cake later. I’m going to go find the cute brunette in the blue suit. Keep an eye out for Jessica–she’s exceptionally pompous tonight.”

You huffed, shoulders sagging at the mention of that particular woman, but as you watched Katy take a few steps away, she abruptly came to a stop when she was just a little behind Matt. Spinning back around, her movement catching your attention, Katy waggled her brows at you and your eyes narrowed as you watched her just over Matt’s shoulder. She exaggeratedly gestured a hand towards Matt’s ass before shooting you two thumbs up, managing it even with the wine glass in hand, and then followed that up with a few lewd hand gestures afterwards. Matt’s head tilted curiously, his gaze still on you.

“She’s behind me, isn’t she?” he asked you.

“Yeah,” you answered, shaking your head roughly at Katy.

You watched as she gestured to Matt’s ass again before making the same lewd gestures, this time adding an inappropriate facial expression. Your eyes went wide, mouth dropping.

“She’s making hand gestures, too,” Matt said. “I’m guessing about my ass?”

You swallowed hard, trying to shoo her away with a hand and a pointed glare. She rolled her eyes at you, turning and ignoring the older gentlemen who you were pretty sure was some big CEO shooting her a disturbed look at the scene she’d just been making.

“Yeah,” you answered Matt, attention returning to him. “She wants me to–” you abruptly stopped, shaking your head as Matt’s mouth twisted into a sly grin. Blushing, you quickly said, “Not important. How about we chug these and go dance?”

“Now I’m curious,” Matt whispered.

"And you're going to stay that way," you told him, bringing the glass to your lips and downing it.

With a wince you set the glass back onto the bar counter, Matt slowly raising a brow at you.

"You were serious about chugging the drink?" he asked.

"Or at least moving far, far away from this spot," you said, your eyes catching sight of Jessica making her way right to the bar. 

You grabbed Matt's wrist, trying to be mindful of the drink in his hand, and led him away from the bar. He willingly followed along beside you, but as you maneuvered around a group of people loudly discussing some current political drama, you almost ran headlong into Jessica Manning. Internally you felt yourself deflate.

One of her perfectly plucked and penciled dark brows slowly slid up on her forehead, her blue eyes that looked almost as soulless as you knew her to be scanned you from head to toe, taking in your dress. Of course she looked like a living doll in her form-fitting and quite low cut red dress. She said your name–as if it was something that tasted horrible–in way of greeting.

“Jessica, hello,” you greeted flatly.

“It’s cute they’re still giving awards to print journalists,” she sneered. “Surprised The Bulletin is actually being read and not just used as packing material and fire kindling.”

Your grip tightened on Matt’s wrist at her words. Katy was right–she was extra pompous and insufferable tonight.

“Though I suppose you don’t have quite the right look for actually being on the news,” she mused aloud, her eyes once again scanning you over. “Or the presence and refinement necessary.” Her eyes slid over towards Matt, approvingly and openly roving his face and his body with her gaze. “Suppose that’s how you landed this particular date–he can’t quite see what you’re lacking. But let me assure you," she hissed, leaning towards Matt, "you certainly can do better than her .”

Her words stung, striking something inside of you that was already vulnerable and unsure when it came to you and Matt. You fought hard to keep your composure, forcing away the sting of tears. Opening your mouth to form some sort of retaliation or dismissal, you were quickly cut off by Matt beside you. 

"It would appear you lack the refinement you claim to have," he replied, tone low and sharp, yet somehow oddly composed. "Only a jealous woman would tear down the success of another and make a tasteless comment about someone's disability in the same breath. So," he continued, "I'm quite certain you've only further cemented the reason I'm here with the beautiful and talented woman beside me and not someone quite as… lacking as yourself."

He pulled you along beside him, your mouth partially agape as Jessica Manning stood seething, a group of onlookers having overheard the brief interaction and whispering to each other as they glanced in her direction. 

Quickly you remembered you needed to lead the pair of you and you focused on guiding the both of you towards an emptier corner of the room far away from Jessica. You hadn't expected Matt to stand up for you like that, and as you glanced over beside you, you saw his dark brows pinched together behind his glasses, his cheek twitching just a bit as if he was irritated.

Drawing to a stop, you released Matt’s wrist, your hands once again nervously fidgeting in front of you. That had been embarrassing and humiliating even if you were touched that he'd stood up for you.

"I'm sorry," Matt abruptly said.

Your brows furrowed together at the unexpected apology. "What?" you asked him.

"I'm sorry you've had to watch as women slip me numbers and flirt while you're standing right there," he answered, his voice low. "I'm sorry any of them ever made you feel like you were somehow less than. Or like you're somehow not good enough. It–it pisses me off," he admitted, the irritation still apparent on his face. 

"It's not your fault, Matt," you whispered. "You don't control how others react or what they say." You sighed, crossing your arms over your chest. "But Jessica is…another thing entirely. She's been like this ever since I started at The Bulletin and I ran into her covering the same story."

"She's jealous," Matt told you. "I read it in her body the moment we ran into her."

You laughed lightly–Jessica Manning, New York City's favorite, darling reporter–was jealous of you? That was even more unbelievable than the fact that you'd received the Pelman Award tonight. 

"The only thing I'd believe she was jealous of was you not being on her arm," you told him. 

Matt shook his head, his expression finally relaxing. "No, she was reeking of jealousy before she even noticed me, sweetheart," he told you.

You blinked a few times, trying to wrap your mind around that information. It was still too absurd to believe. The motion of Matt raising his glass to his lips and downing his drink caught your attention again. When he'd finished, he roughly set the glass on a table beside him, his eyes never leaving you. He shifted the folded cane in his hand, setting it down on the table as well before holding a hand out to you. Your eyes dropped down to it, feeling your stomach flutter pleasantly.

"Why don't we focus on enjoying our evening instead," Matt suggested, the irritation gone from his voice. "Dance with me? Make up for all the dances I missed out on with you at Fog and Marci’s wedding?"

You swallowed hard, eyes slowly sliding up to the sweet look on his handsome face. Your heart stuttered in your chest–one of these days that 'I love you' was going to just come barreling out of your mouth at him. 

But no, not tonight. Despite how sweet he had been handling Jessica and your feelings after, and the fact that he was choosing to focus on you instead of the situation, tonight was not the night. You'd make sure the alcohol didn't loosen your tongue too much just in case. The last thing you needed was to drunkenly admit your feelings.

"I'd love to," you whispered instead, accepting his hand.

You led the pair of you out towards the dance floor where there already were a handful of couples holding each other close and swaying to the live string quartet playing just off to the side. Finding a place a little out of the way, you stopped, turning a little nervously in towards him. He flashed you a curious smile and you couldn't fight back your own nerves at the sight.

"What?" you asked him.

His hands easily slipped onto your hips, gliding their way over the silk of your dress towards your lower back and carefully drawing you in close. Your hands carefully slid underneath his arms, snaking their way to his back.

"You've been nervous around me all night," Matt finally answered as the pair of you began to gently sway to the music. "And you just got really nervous before we stepped out here to dance. More than you usually have been during our relationship so far. Reminds me of back before we were together and you'd find reasons to bolt out of the room whenever we were alone. I've noticed it off and on the last couple of weeks, but you seem even more nervous than the other times. What's going on?"

Of course Matt would notice every time your heart fluttered and your body freaked out whenever you were fighting down the urge to tell him how you felt these past couple of weeks. Your nerves had also increased tonight solely because he looked like he should have some model hanging on his arm instead of you with your awkward bumbling in your heels. 

Lightly clearing your throat, you quickly replied the first not ‘I love you’ response that flew out of your mouth. “Nothing. Nothing is going on at all. You’re just, you know, really attractive and sometimes when you focus on me, like you’re doing right now,” you rambled, the words just spilling out of you with no end in sight, “it makes me incredibly fucking nervous. And it doesn’t help that tonight, in that tux, you look really, really good. And you have that goddamn fucking charming smile on your face and it’s making me blurt shit that’s almost worse than having just blurted the actual reason and–” 

You stopped, eyes going wide as Matt’s charming smile slid into a triumphant and devious smirk mere inches from your face.

“So there is a reason and I’m not just misreading you,” he whispered.

You tensed in his arms, swallowing hard as your cheeks grew warm. Licking your lips nervously, feeling like your breathing was becoming shallower, you asked, “Can we just, uh, forget I said all of that? Because I…I’m pretty sure I’m going to vomit and faint simultaneously if I have to answer your question for real right now.”

His head shifted, face lowering down towards yours. From this close you could see his eyes behind the lenses of his dark glasses; they were slightly narrowed, curiously scanning around your face and then dropping lower, towards your chest. Head canting a little to the left, the right corner of his mouth curled ever so slightly upwards. A moment later his gaze drew back up around your chin, the smile spreading a little further on his face and his eyes creasing lightly at the corners behind the glasses. You shot him a questioning look in return even though he couldn’t see it. 

What was that look about?

“Well, we certainly wouldn’t want that, now would we?” Matt teased gently.

One of his hands left its place along your back and a moment later you felt him gingerly tilting your chin with his fingers until your lips were almost brushing his. Immediately your gaze lowered, focusing on his own lips as a dizziness washed over you. Gradually he leaned in, closing the distance and drawing your lips against his in a soft kiss, one that sent your heart racing in your chest. A moment later you felt his lips tighten, pulling into a smile against yours, his fingers still carefully holding your chin. You swallowed hard, eyeing him curiously as he drew back.

“What?” you asked him cautiously.

He had an unusually large smile drawn wide on his mouth, one that was a prime example of the whole cat-that-ate-the-canary expression, and you were currently feeling like the goddamn canary.

“Nothing, sweetheart,” he murmured. “I don’t want you simultaneously throwing up and fainting on the dance floor.” An amused grin slid across his mouth now as he straightened. “You might find that to be a little more embarrassing than talking about how Daredevil is a ‘pretty cool dude’ to a U.S. senator.”

Matt let out a laugh as your forehead dropped to his solid chest, your eyes closing and a groan of embarrassment falling from you. His other hand returned to your back as he held you close, still swaying with you to the music. 

“For the record though,” Matt said, leaning closer to whisper into your ear, “Daredevil appreciated the compliment.”

A slow smile spread across your face as it rested against Matt’s chest, your hands clutching the material of his suit from their place along his back. He had been amazing tonight handling your nerves and every other potentially embarrassing thing that had happened, and internally in that moment you let yourself tell him ‘I love you,’ even if you were still too terrified to actually say it aloud to him.

#matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x fem reader #matt murdock fic #matt murdock series #daredevil x female reader #daredevil x reader #fftd

[dichromaticdyke]

hey another thing since my brain is broken and i have an MA in literature i'm gonna analyze the lyrics of "aortic desecration" and "SOS."

under the cut this time since last time my brain vomited a bunch of aotd analysis it went on for way too long sorry.

but seriously i wrote a fuckton here over the course of two sleep deprived sessions, so you'll either think i'm a madman or a divine genius.

okay for simplicity, "aortic desecration" lyrics are gna be in red and "SOS" lyrics r gna be in green. i hope tumblr made those colors distinct enough for ppl with colorblindness.

[intro] we're all going to die [x3] eventually [verse 1] toxic waste, acidic paste degradation crushed by a plane, driven insane mutilation cranial glitch dumped in a ditch gangrenous stitch

this is already a lot. nathan's coming at this with the idea that he has to write the most brutal and fucked up song of all time, so he just reminds everyone of their mortality and lists a fuck ton of ways that might happen (many of which do happen during the performance of this song). but even his point of adding eventually after saying how everyone wil die is interesting—it's like that was also tacked on during the performance like, "yeah but not today please haha." not a whole lot to go into here, except the way the first verse ends.

failure has entered your soul

now first of all, some sources have this line as "madness has entered your soul," but i've only ever heard "failure." and i think that makes sense—before this song even started, nathan realized that he wrote the wrong song but it was too late. i think once he got through the majority of the first verse, he went off-script, so to speak, and instead of singing about death, he started singing about realizing his own failure and mistake and how that was about to lead to the apocalypse. this continues into the next verse

[verse 2] how could you be so fucking naive? you fled for refuge and fell to your knees you spoke the words and brandished your heart you left yourself open to be torn apart, torn apart

hi brendon small i would like some recompense. he's speaking exactly to himself, how he was so naive to think that a song of salvation would be a song of death, how he was running from everyone and tried to do this all on his own. he sang about death because that was what he believed was the only thing he knew how to do, he refused to actually do some introspection and figure out what salvation was. and now here he is.

[chorus] aortic desecration how could i be so wrong? disemboweled publicly this is the dying song [bridge] look out bleed [x8] [chorus] [outro] aortic desecration atrial annihilation pulmonic devestation

so this chorus and the outro are fun for me because they're doing that thing that brutal death bands do where they just throw in a bunch of big words that sound scary and fucked up. and they are! aortic desecration essentially refers to a violation of the heart, since the aorta is the main part of the circulatory system and it's been desecrated. nathan broke his own goddamn heart by doing exactly what he feared—causing the apocalypse. he says as much in asking how he could be so wrong? as for being disemboweled publicly, well, here's what my literature MA ass immediately thought of. in sylvia plath's The Bell Jar, she writes about being suicidal and depressed, and one of the ways she considers killing herself is by disemboweling herself in her bathtub. this also reminded me of the way the god character killed himself in the film Begotten. so my initial thought, as gruesome as it is, is that nathan has kinda metaphorically killed himself in front of the whole world by singing the song that he knew was wrong. historically speaking, disemboweling people while still alive was also a form of torture and capital punishment, so that checks out. then he says "this is the dying song," fully recognizing what he's done. the final lyrics of the song once again refer to fucked up shit happening to the heart, with the atria being your heart's upper chambers, and "pulmonary" referring to your lungs, though typically in the sense of bloodflow.

then of course we get him chanting for the world to bleed, but also proclaiming, "look out." now at first i thought this was just kind of an ad lib—it's not uncommon in music to have lyrics like that that are added just to help the flow but don't actually add much to the content of the words. i don't think this is the case especially when comparing this to "SOS," but for now i'll start by just pointing out that "look out" very easily could've doubled in meaning as being a warning to the world. like, this isn't just fun and games any more—actually look out, you're actually going to die.

as for "SOS"...

[verse] last breath skyward dark sign closing line no time to mend this life take this hand this last time

alright this is pretty straightforward. this is their last chance to get it right, if it isn't too late already. but there's also that line of "skyward," which is the first instance in this song of recognizing the doomstar itself. there's no mention of the doomstar at all in "aortic desecration," which is kinda strange if you think about it. not even in the dying song is there an acknowledgement of why the apocalypse might be happening, mainly because the dying song—once nathan realizes what it is anyway—is primarily about hopelessness and fucking up. why even acknowledge the greater power at work when this is nathan's fault (in the context of the song)? but instead nathan acknowledges that the focus has to be on the doomstar, but also on everyone coming together and standing against this force that is greater than all of them. this song immediately establishes the haste in what they're doing, immediately countering the deflection in the dying song. nathan tried making the dying song work by saying, "we're all going to die eventually," but nathan here has the perspective to realize, no. people will die now, are dying now, it might already be too late to fix this, but dammit they're not giving up yet. [chorus] we're the shadows of the infinite we stand alive we're nothing but the soil of time beasts in the night reach with my open hand bound for all time in the shadows of the blazing star fused, we're the light

"shadows of the infinite" is an acknowledgement of their godlike powers, which they've either been completely ignorant to during the majority of the series or just didn't want to admit (think back to "how can i be a hero?" when none of them wanted to step up and do what they had to do). yet despite this acknowledgement of their divinity, their power, they are also recognizing that they are still just people. they can't do anything by themselves, they have to work with other forces. being "nothing but the soil of time" is a reference to being a gear in the wheel of the klok—clock, time, etc., yet also being "beasts in the night" refers to this unhinged power and danger they still hold. "reach with my open hand" is the most obvious line, with the animation in this scene directly reminding us of nathan's conversation with the whale prophet. once again, a reference to the doomstar, and the final line foreshadows nathan using the dethlights alongside both dethklok and the army of the doomstar. these are the people that must work together with this divine power to take out something greater.

it's also worth noting that while the official line seems to be "fused, we're the light," i can ALSO hear it is "fused with the light." so it can be interpreted either as, nathan and the band and the army of the doomstar all coming together to becoming the light/dethlights, or nathan and the band and the army of the doomstar being fused with the light/dethlights. it's not that much of a difference i guess, but a slight different implication of whether or not they themselves are the light or if the light is a separate entity. [bridge] now rise (rise) [x8] movin' out, movin' out [chorus]

this is the part that convinced me to make this a comparison. this is a direct parallel and contrast to the bridge in "aortic desecration," with calls to bleed being replaced with calls to rise. they even chant it the same number of times, guys idk what to tell you. PLUS there's an echo repeat of "rise" throughout this bridge, and while it could very well be a literal echo, who else wants to believe it was all the other members of dethklok singing it? kinda like the "die, die" in the duncan hills jingle? and then the "ad lib" of "look out" is instead replaced with "movin' out." instead of nathan telling everyone to run away, be watchful, be fearful, he's calling on them to come with him and fight with him.

have i talked enough about how brendon small is a fucking genius?

plus based on a few shots from this performance during aotd, i think toki might have been playing lead. which would be super cool, because this would make this the second song that is confirmed to have toki in the lead, the other being "blazing star."

anyway i've fooled you all because now i wanna talk about "blazing star." i know this song has been out for a decade now and has been analyzed a bunch, but i wanna look at it specifically now with the context of the movie.

first off, before i get into the analysis, i'm pretty sure the performance of "blazing star" at the end of the doomstar requiem never happened. i think it was purely non-diegetic, just like half the songs in this whole opera, but it was presented as a proper dethklok song to symbolize the band being reunited and looking towards their next big hurdle of the actual metalocalypse. my main reason for thinking this is that the idea that dethklok saved toki, wrote this song, performed it for the world while announcing, "hey toki's back and he's okay," is DIRECTLY in contrast with the opening scene of aotd where the band makes their first public appearance since saving toki and a standard dethklok performance trigger's nathan's ptsd. i know metalocalypse isn't known for continuity, but they would've mentioned dethklok having a performance post-rescue. and nathan in aotd is so ready to not face his destiny, there's no way he would write and perform a song about exactly that. he's also adamant that he doesn't sing about hope or life, but that's exactly what "blazing star" is about.

enough preamble let's look at that song.

[verse 1, nathan] the glowing clouds, the diamond's birth the spiral cluster descends to earth the nebulas conspire to bring the signifier and the death of a king

already with more context from aotd, i'm obsessed with this. it's setting up the doomstar and the destiny of the doomstar being either the death of salacia or of nathan. i haven't spoken yet about the parallels between nathan and salacia, that's something that's going to take a WHILE to work out, but the long and short of it is, they're powerful beings who can only achieve their full power when being reunited with four other souls/people. GUYS. they are very clearly meant to parallel each other. knowing now that the doomstar is a portal meant to reunite salacia with the "four souls," it's unlikely that this "death of a king" is inherently meant to refer to salacia, because the doomstar would have to be inherently anti-salacia, which it's not. at that, it seems like this "king" is probably meant to be nathan, or all of dethklok, since it's through their deaths that salacia would be reunited and the metalocalypse would happen. it's hard to tell tbh, the doomstar is a neutral figure—all we know is that it can bring death, and it holds power that other figures can harness.

i'm a man with a tortured sight i fear this dream will end tonight the water beasts continue singing we try to wake but we're not dreaming

THIS i find incredibly fascinating. it's no secret at this point that nathan had been dreaming about the whale prophet for who knows how long, and this is very clearly referring to that. the first line of this section even foreshadows nathan being the only one to remember the night they rescued toki. what i find interesting is the contrast between nathan "fear[ing] this dream will end" but also "try[ing] to wake but [isn't] dreaming." these are directly contradictory at first glance—he's scared of this dream ending, but he also wants to wake up? unless these are two completely different dreams.

the first half of aotd, nathan, pickles, skwisgaar, and murderface aren't rescuing toki, aren't even letting themselves think about him. they're only focusing on partying around the world, and they sing a whole song about how they love being useless billionaires and don't want to be heroes OR regular jackoffs. i think that's the first dream—being DETHKLOK, having no problems, doing whatever they want, that's the dream nathan is scared is ending. because after that night of rescuing toki, of harnessing the dethlights, everything has gotten so real. they can't ignore it anymore.

at the same time, realizing that there are greater forces out there trying to destroy the world, trying to use them to destroy the world, everything with the church of the black klok—that must feel like a dream. that's the dream he wants to wake up from.

he wants to stay in his dream of being rich and powerful, but he doesn't want to be stuck in the dream—the nightmare—of the literal apocalypse.

i'm gonna find you i'm running out of time i gotta play this part this is my lot in life with this power i am endowed the end is coming so bring it on now

again, another reason i don't believe this song was diegetic. this is the first moment of clarity he had about the metalocalypse, about how he had to do something about it, whether he wanted it or not. again, in the beginning of aotd, he had no interest in this. i guess it's possible he went back and forth on that (i wouldn't be too surprised), but again, this is a pretty hopeful message, all things considered. he even says "bring it on" to the fucking apocalypse. tell me again about how you don't write songs about hope, nate. i only buy that if he never wrote and performed this song.

[verse 2, pickles] oh the keeper wields his scythe oh you gotta kiss this life goodbye there is another place beyond we'll meet in time and i will greet you all in the next life, yeah

having pickles sing in general is based, but i've never fully understood why he was in this song. like if anything, this song feels like the kind of ballad that would have EACH member of dethklok sing a little bit, so it's strange to have just pickles and nate. it gets less strange with the hindsight of aotd, where their relationship was the primary emotional focus. but let's actually look at what pickles is saying here. it's pretty standard stuff: death is looming, but if worst comes to worst we'll be together in the afterlife.

i wanna fucking throw up (positive). what was that offdensen said to pickles in aotd? "be a true friend, even if it gets messy." pickles's verse is NOTHING but, "hey nate things are getting bad but i'll always be with you." I'M NOT REACHING THAT'S ALL THIS IS.

[chorus, nathan] the blazing star, it burns so bright the darkened power, the dethly light bring it on now, this is our time we're the new regime, together we'll fight

again, standard stuff. doomstar, dethlights, fighting together. all things considered, this could have been the song of salvation. there's not much i can really say other than the fact that since it wasn't, it must not exist in the metalocalypse world, right?

toki had the solo on this song. i don't have to speculate for that, it's made abundantly clear with the animation in the ending sequence of the doomstar requiem. he had the solo because this whole song is about the band coming together to face something greater than them, and they wouldn't have had the power to do that if they didn't have toki with them. it's also them recognizing the worth toki has in the band—at first, it seemed like his worth was just making skwisgaar play better (that was certainly the implication at the end of "the duel"), but it's greater than that.

let's say i'm right—let's say i'm right and toki also had the lead/solo during "SOS." what does that tell you that toki is granted the opportunity ot have the lead SPECIFICALLY DURING SONGS OF HOPE AND CAMARADERIE?? he, much like murderface, is foundational to the band. murderface is the voice of dissent, toki is the voice of hope.

and let's say i'm wrong, and toki only had a solo during the song that doesn't actually exist. that's fine too, because if "blazing star" is meant to be a symbolic, non-diegetic song, then that still proves my point of toki being foundational to the band ("even if you don'ts do nothings") and, more importantly, their divine power.

wow that was a lot if you got to the end pls like comment and subscribe.

#Metalocalypse #Army of the Doomstar #Dethklok #Nathan Explosion #Pickles the Drummer #Toki Wartooth #dichromaticdyke.exe #written in a fit of divine madness