#and there's some screenshots of the dms i had with my ex and it really wasn't anything That Bad and i don't know why it upset me so much

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for kicking someone out of my D&D campaign for reasons not entirely related to the game?

This is long but the context is important I swear.

About a year ago, I (30X) tried to assemble a D&D group with my coworkers. After a whole lot of fucking around, the guy who was going to DM moving across the country, and a bunch of people quitting or getting fired, it ended up being me as the DM, my brother, a few other people who I met through a different campaign, and one guy who used to work with me.

This guy, J (23M), had a lot of personal problems when he worked for us, most of which contributed to him being let go. He had a lot of family issues that led to him missing a lot of work (and I mean A Lot. We have a Very good PTO system for the US that basically amounts to accruing one day off for every 50 hours you work, earning more the longer you stay with the company, and more allowance for attendance infractions than any company I've ever heard of in the states). He also had a lot of interpersonal issues with some of the employees, one in particular, K (21F), with whom he had some kind of situationship. I try not to get involved in work drama, so I don't know all the details.

J also has issues with money, transportation, and depression/suicidal tendencies. I'm not judging him for any of those, as I have experience with them as well, but he has been leaning on me pretty heavily around every time we hang out to play D&D. I would cover his 120$+ Uber rides home, which he would sometimes pay me back but sometimes not (if I couldn't afford it once a month, I wouldn't do it, but he insists he's going to pay me back; since he has lost yet another job I am not expecting it at all and don't hold it against him really, but I do think it's kind of shitty to insist you're going to when you clearly won't be able to), pay for his food, work with my family members to get him home, and let him crash at my house to avoid ordering an Uber. He also messaged me when he was feeling suicidal - bad enough to be institutionalized after I sent him the number for the suicide hotline. Again, no judgement, but it made me uncomfortable because I struggle with the same things. He seemed bothered that I told him I wasn't able to talk him through it, but that may have just been the crisis talking.

After all that, we come to a game session that involves more than just navigating dangerous spaces and fighting off wild animals. The rest of the party does fine, but J really botches the social interaction part, despite everyone telling him what he's doing is a bad idea and me doing my best as a DM to communicate that he should change tactics. He does not change tactics and instead doubles down and goes full murderhobo, which is not the kind of player I'm interested in playing with, something I thought J understood from previous conversations.

My original plan was to say something to the table at our next session about removing themselves from the game if the themes weren't something they were interested in engaging with, but then I get some additional info today about J and K.

Apparently J has been incredibly possessive towards K - someone who, again, he was not dating in any meaningful capacity - for weeks or months, to the point that she has blocked him on social media off and on. And then this past week, J has sent her screenshots of her location, contacted her ex who she still lives with for logistical reasons, made him upset to the point that K thought he was going to kick her out of his apartment, and harassed K's brother to try to get her to talk to him again. K is seriously considering taking out a restraining order against him at this point. J has also been updating his social media to imply that he is going to kill himself.

To say this behavior raises some red flags is an understatement. Clearly J needs help, but as a regular guy, that's really not something I'm able to provide beyond sending mental health hotlines, and I don't feel comfortable being his support system in the way he obviously needs.

All that said, I feel like I might be an asshole for kicking him out of the campaign full stop, because he's been really excited to play this whole time. But the combination of all this really worrisome, potentially dangerous behavior and the mundane reality of him just being a really annoying player kind of has me at my wits end, so, WIBTA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

[licht-hex]

MY THOUGHTS REGARDING THE NEW DOC

Alrighty, just came back to tumblr after reading the new docs and am gonna detail me thoughts a little here. Might be a bit long so I apologize in advance.

In regard to just the new doc made by Alex, it does confirm a lot of my suspicions regarding Ven, DB, and Alex themself that I haven’t really mentioned anywhere aside from the DMs of a few close friends, the main ones being:

* Alex’s general reasoning over the course of this situation

* How generally uncommunicative (most, if not) everyone related to this situation was

As for actual substance, I wish that Alex had provided more screenshots or at the very least gotten the same screenshots presented in Ven’s argument to, at the very least, supplement his own (ex: how uncommunicative DB was being despite allegedly being uncomfortable with the speed at which the relationship was proceeding).

At this point, it’s just testimony against Ven’s and DB’s testimony AND evidence. While I understand where Alex is coming from that does little to defend against evidence in bulk.

What primarily frustrates me is the lack of mention of anyone else aside from DB, Ven, and, very briefly, the 16 as well as the 14 year old. My assumption is just that Alex wanted to contest the claims made in the original doc, but then wouldn’t have been better if he’d just waited and covered all of his bases?

Hopefully, Alex will get around to addressing those — otherwise I’m just stuck with the bad taste in my mouth.

At the moment, I don’t know my exact stance on the situation, however, what I do know is that l all sides should take a break from the internet after this is over as this clearly has negatively impacted all parties’ health.

I don’t 100% trust Alex, but I feel that Ven’s word should be taken with a grain of salt as they’ve previously professed their desire to releasing evidence in order to bring down Alex’s credibility as a public figure.

As for the other victims (e.g: mitcha, donut, etc.) I’m choosing to continue to follow them and sympathize with their struggles.

For closing stuff,

(You can skip if you don’t want to hear me talk about: kinks and sexual intimacy. I’m not gonna go in graphic detail but I just wanted to discuss for a moment)

I honestly just feel like some of the stuff regarding kinks and shit should’ve just stayed in the drafts as I don’t believe there is any solid evidence that Alex was “forcing” their kinks onto others outside of leaps in logic already applied to other arguments (ex: Alex was manipulating DB from the start based on later convos depicting a relationship where both parties are/appear to be reciprocating).

Sex is a valid means of expressing affection, I know people in my life who require that level of intimacy to truly express their feelings — this is in no way implying that sex is the only way to be in a relationship, just that people need different things. It just feels kinda scummy that demonstrations of sexual attraction between two adults was portrayed so negatively despite both parties matching each other (ex: “I’ll make the next one extra special for you” text).

That’s not all the stuff that I have gripes with from Ven’s original doc, but I don’t feel like being here all day so I’m gonna end it here.

Thank you for reading.

[takecareluv]

a fic based off the song he’s mine by mokenstef?

a.n. i’ve had this song stuck in my head ever since i saw this request. i think i’ve annoyed everyone around me with it haha anyway, i hope you like it! mwah 🤍☺️

sorry but he’s mine || vinnie hacker x reader

after close to a year of being together, you and vinnie finally became public. while some fans were extremely happy for you both, having speculated that you two had been together way before you announced it. others were not too thrilled to see the internet’s boyfriend officially taken of the market.

having been in the public eye for quite some time, you were used to all the hate that came along with it. so the abundance of rude comments that surfaced from the news of your relationship didn’t faze you much. you typically ignored the comment section all together, not even taking note of what a bunch of strangers had to say about you.

what you did notice, however, was the surge of posts, ranging from tiktok videos to twitter threads, showing supposed screenshots of dm’s and text messages between vinnie and the girls who post it.

you mainly ignored them, knowing they were all fake and made by some jealous fans trying to break you and vinnie up.

it was quite sad, you thought, how far these people would go just to ruin a relationship between two people so clearly in love.

but it didn’t really bother you all that much. these girls could muster up all the fake conversations they wanted, at the end of day vinnie was yours, and a silly little post was going to change that.

it wasn’t until you were scrolling through your fyp one afternoon and saw a video of a girl you knew vinnie had a past with trying to make it seem like he was still in love with her, that you got slightly more agitated.

really? now one of his little ex flings not even girlfriend, is trying to break y’all up. when was it going to end? you thought to yourself. can’t these people just let us be happy.

you never wanted to respond publicly to any of the hate, knowing it would just add to the fire, but now you were feeling petty.

vinnie told you all about how horribly this girl treated him, like he was some prize for her use and exploit. how she tried to ruin his career after he finally found the courage to end things with her. and how she continued to harass him months after things were done between them.

with that being said, you were not going to let her get away with the tiktok she made full of lies. especially after reading the plethora of comments believing and supporting her. oh hell no.

one thing about you, is you were protective of the people you loved, especially your boyfriend.

you wanted your response to be subtle. you were a classy bitch after all. you didn’t want to call her out directly, but you wanted to send a message. vinnie is yours and will forever be yours, no matter how hard she tried to split you up.

-

later that night, vinnie returned from the warehouse looking mighty fine in his wife beater and grey sweats. you were instantly on top of him, telling him how good he looked and how much you missed him.

things escalated quickly from there, i mean you couldn’t help it your boyfriend was hot. and an hour and multiple rounds later you laid in bed exhausted and sore.

you were ready to fall asleep, but before you did, you grabbed your phone, pulling up the tiktok app to begin recording a video.

the video showed you and vinnie in bed with nothing but the sheets covering you. you both looked sweaty with messy hair and tired eyes, clearly fucked out. you began lip-syncing to the song that played in the background as vinnie cuddled closer to you, placing a kiss to your neck.

he’s mine.

you may of had him once,

but i got him all the time.

as soon as the you finished recording, you immediately posted it, not bothering to add a caption.

that should get the message across.

#vinnie hacker #vinnie hacker fluff #vinnie hacker x you #vinnie hacker x y/n #vinnie hacker blurb #vinnie hacker fanfic #vinnie hacker imagine #vinnie hacker x reader

[not-goldy]

Right now there are a lot of ex tkk out there who left after Paris. Some of who wrote little to late apologies to Jimin for believing he was the devil/villain, when now they realize that title belongs to the big TK accounts who hand fed them lies. The ones who helped brain wash them & half this fandom & harass everyone. They swallowed that pill & accepted their ship is not real and Paris actually happened. Now they're just sitting around alone cause the people they thought were their friends turned their back on them for seeing the light. These people could do the funniest thing right now, the right thing. Those TK GC's and twitter spaces they were a part of and saved. Full of Tkk & big Tk accounts slandering Jimin & plans to sabotage him and vile lies they made up to spread and openly hated on Jk cause they were mad at him, spearheaded by those active TK accounts. They could email them to bighit. DM the screenshots they held onto, to Jimin and Jikook report accounts. Get these big TK and anti accounts taken down. They were on the inside and know first hand things said in private in those space. How manipulated they were and seeing how its continuing.

Their own leader, told them models called Tae Monsieur Gayhyung in Paris, only for the models to say it was disgusting lies. Instead of admitting he lied on purpose cause he didn't think these people would release statements, he let you all take the blame and look like deranged fools for spreading it and deactivated and came back a few weeks later like nothing happened and you let him. The person creates lies every day and You help spread them. Then the person deactivates cause they can't take the heat and you take the fall and he gains new braindead followers when they come back.

I know It'll never happen tho cause they aren't brave. I on the other hand would be a raging bitch, the whistleblower and expose the fuck out of every damn one of them MF's who helped gaslit me.

I HAVE THREE LARGE BREASTS AND A TAIL.

I'm alway prepared to recieve new Jikook believers into my large bossom and feed them with content 😌

They can start with @nightswithkookmin

And if they want to interact they'll find me here.

I'm open to receiving their confessions about Jikook in my ask box. Shit if it's good I'll even share it so everyone can read it.

If it's triggering and full of doubt I'll send them straight to purgatory.

Tuktukkers are indeed very much manipulated and gaslit into believing things they shouldn't believe if they had a little bit of brain cells in their skulls.

Like it's that simple, you don't even need analysis you just need to use your head, if you believe no two relationships are equal then you'd rightfully assume there must be something unique and special about every ship. Start by individualizing every ship. Start there and if you don't that's how the madness begin.

And if you believe TKk and JKK are two Unique ships- what sets them apart? You don't find this out if you succumb to the prevalent cognitive roadblocks prevalent in TKK land. To find that out what makes them each truly Unique, desist from minimizing, trivializing, overlooking, going against your instincts and going against common sense. One plus one is two. If it she's a duck it's a duck. You don't need to bend and twist and squeeze your brain out.

The common truth and fact of the matter is, however "close" TKK were in the past,however they try to be close now, Jikook are closer. That ship has sailed. However jikook try to normalize that closeness, neutralize it, do damage control- it really doesn't change the fact that out of all BTS pairs they have the most chemistry, are and do come across as the most intimate because you simply can't hide intimacy if it's there between two people.

It shows in everything they do and say.

It's like whatever Vmin have. You can't minimize it. You can't sweep it under the rag. No matter how long they go without producing Content- when they do that content will always light up warmth in our hearts.

You can't take vmin soul mates away from them no matter how much analysis you make, no matter how much you think they hate eachother underneath. They would still be Vmin.

Jikook is jikook no matter what anyone says.

And ooh for TKK, once you clock what their dynamic really is- you may not think of them as Jikook but you'd definitely appreciate them same.

I know a thing or two bout whistle-blower laws and I'm very good in street fights- if you do decide to be a raging bitch, I got your back🤭

[a-d-nox]

a warning about tipping/paid readings

i had a bad morning today; mainly because someone requested a reading from me when my shop was marked closed and then it escalated. the reading closure was not a big issue because i thought "whatever i am caught up with readings, i will switch it back over to open". they tipped me with paypal and immediately i was sent chart screenshots. the reason i do not want screenshots is because i can't tell what the orbs are ESPECIALLY when the aspect map is missing AND because some people include asteroids i do not analyze (this tipper had lilith in the chart - we all know that i do not analyze lilith). i kindly reminded them of my reading rules regarding the birth time, date, and place being sent. they refused to send me it. and i said i refuse to continue with the reading then (a more particular reason as to why i really wasn't interested in the reading was the chart for one of the party's (it was a synastry reading) being sag pluto and a leo neptune (the person would have been from the 1750s) and that seemed wrong or like there was a data entry issue on their end (another reason that i want the date, time, and place for my records - i can't be blamed for the wrong information if it is what you provided me with)). the last dm they sent me before blocking me was the above picture.

i want to make myself perfectly clear about paid reading:

1) birth date, time, and place are required (screenshots are NOT acceptable).

2) do not fight me about my rules; they are there for a reason.

3) readings are non refundable - this is the first and the last time i will issue a refund (which i figured out on my laptop after they blocked me).

side note: I DON'T CARE what synastry you have me doing - i have done a readings on a person here and their celebrity crush, their friends, their exes, etc. let me know what the relationship is between you and them is and the reading will be just that. this person might have been embarrassed / feared my judgment that they wanted their synastry with a dead president / author / historical figure and that's why they really rejected sending me their birth info. I LITERALLY DON'T CARE. but the rules are the rules. i need that information to do an accurate reading AND to make it something you want to read as the purchaser.

-a.d.

#astrology #astro community #astro placements #astro chart #asteroid astrology #asteroid #natal chart #persona chart #greek mythology #astrology tumblr #read my rules they are there for a reason #no refunds #i hate paypal #give me your information

[confessionsofa-roleplayer]

This is gonna' be a girthy one guys. First: I left tumblr in 2019, I couldn't stand it. When I tell you I had an awful experience using this app for 9 years for roleplay, I really fucking mean it. It was fantastic from when I was younger, I started using it around 2012 or so and it was when things were enjoyable. I saw the CREATIVITY that a community could create when it was something like [REDACTED.] Somewhere along the lines, it all died? Like, it was so s sad to see such a fun concept die along the way, I still don't know why.

Somewhere around when I turned 18, I was noticing people were horrible on here. I had friends that would tell me they screenshot dms, discord, and anything that could be a recipt "just in case" I was like "Just in case what motherfucker? Huh?" And then I got hit face first with callouts on my dash, people leaking dms, private conversations, ex friends posting their "testimonials" -- keep in mind, this was not me or in relation to me, and some of these were very much valid and warning of REAL LIFE dangers to others, while others were about shipping incest. I don't care if you think it's gross, that isn't the point. The point was never that callouts let people know X user writes X and to avoid / block, it's that every single time this happened, someone would add a completely irelevant factoid about X user like " they did this to me 2 years ago and I did not like it!" Okay? Alright? A lot of this could have been discussed in dms or just not posted to get 200 notes and somehow end up calling X an abuser. I've seen this so many times, it's not some isolated incident.

For some reason, friends could not part ways without having a mt. of dirt on the other and dumping it all out when the time calls for it. It was like everyone wanted their 5 minutes of fame. It was made infinitely worse when this site became extremely self-sanatized where if you wrote anything that was "probalmatic" or "toxic" you were REQUIRED to be a victim of that same event. Imagine, for three minutes, a self-rightous 17 year old has the gall to ask you if you've been SA'd before because they found you rping this with your rp partner. Even if you think this is gross, there is literally MOUNTAINS of evidence that shows healthy exploration of these thoughts, kinks, and experiences in an enviorment you control is cathartic. Weather or not YOU, the uneducated individual without the psych degree, start yelling "SEEK HELP" as if this was not already a proven method of controlling and facing trauma. Let me tell you: you're not. It's fiction. It is writing. It is fake, a real life occurence, but it is still fake. I have seen people sexualize their fantasy-murderers on the same level as anyone who wanted to write SA porn. Again, this isn't about if you find it acceptable or not, it's about NOT BEING your place to dictate how, when, or who can write it on any grounds, especially demanding to know someone's HISTORY of assault, like imagine being so utterly brain dead that you think you, a stranger, deserve to know anything like this LMAO? it was incredibly common! It was crazy!

Shit, Im getting to the bottom of the box lMAO. Okay.. but yeah, I left tumblr for 4 years to try different sites. I've been on Aniroleplay, and let me tell you. The sanatization the anti crowd wants leads to that. A christian-promoted rp site where if your character is shirtless or has big boobs you get banned because it's "indecent" or "obscene." Twitter has the same amount of problems since most of the minors and obsessive repressed losers left for it. Actually worse than tumblr, it is now peak 2017s tumblr.

I've been on other rp sites where i've had some of the best rp, rich roleplays, GREAT partners, and fun little oc creation experience I ever had. Everyone listed their interests, if you didn't like, you didn't BRING IT UP. You continued like adults, and if not, you block. Boom. The site literally ip bans you if you harass someone. That's what tumblr needed, but instead, all we got was people using statcounter in the midst of 2017-2020 to show who was "stalking" or who left the page open by accident, or something. I was so anxious id have my ip leaked, even if it wasn't a precise location, the idea of someone finding my name and ruining my life was horrifying. I've seen it happen, I've seen people lose jobs from it, I've seen what someone awful with INTENT can do.

Leaving was the best thing ever. I came back only recently because I wanted to try and find a few partners and imagine my fucking shock when I see " NO drama, NO callouts that aren't SPECIFICALLY in reference to A REAL INDIVIDUAL who poses a danger to others " it was insane. It wasn't an isolated incident, but every profile I follow has this, it's all around blogs I wouldnt even think of following, but when I check, I see it there. It's like they all got exhausted with the constant "THIS PERSON WRITES X AND X" like alright? BLOCK THEM, you clown.

This was really just something I've been thinking about. Sorry if this is too long, but thanks for being active for so long guys.

#general #confessions

[cerealmonster15]

scuse me i gotta go be embarrassing under the cut brb 🚶

@cosmiccoincidence @felix-the-lemon-king well FUCK ok hi lol 👋

so like images from the engtwst translation that altered my brain forever:

so like. 🧍🙈 URGHGHHHG lol. felix u may have heard some of or all of this tangent before in the dms LOL but

my attempt at long story short: friend and i were into twst well before engtwst came out, so when we saw the official translation translated cater's "leona-kun" to "leona, sweetheart," we were like 🤨sweetheart?🤨🤨🤨 jkslajKLDJL like ik it's a casual thing meant here but. however. you see LOL

longer details: me being how i am as a person™, i let this fester in the back of my brain and it gradually grew out of control. i dont like. theyre not a pair i think of when i think of My Cater Ships. HOWEVER as i do with most leona potential ships(???) they read as exes to me here JSDLFG like. me with my soap opera lenses on [they are never off. sorry.] has me running wild w/this like leona/cater having A Thing of some undefined nature like maybe last year. tapping into cater's implied vibes of not always letting people get super close / used to kinda keeping things surface level and making the most of Being In The Moment and less concerned about making lasting ties bc hes used to stuff not lasting from his moving around etc etc whatever. like cater and leona starting off w/ a bond of just quietly being in each others space [i mean caters a chatterbox LOL im thinkin those rare moments where hes like mask off kinda lethargic or something. caycays such an interesting character w/a lotta mystery in that regard but i do NOT have time to get into that so just!!! bear with me LOL JFKLSDJF]

anyway i feel like i recycle the same plotlines with characters/ocs forever but thats just too bad: cater+ leona bonding somehow dont worry about it. idk leonas a spelldrive star and caters really good at flying so They Could Bond -> somehow falling into like a Casual Lowkey Relationship where theyre like 'we arent DATING dating, no labels and mostly just hang out when no one's around but Something Undefined is happening here. they kiss or whatever lol -> they emphasize w/e they have is strictly casual and 'doesnt mean anything' -> perhaps cater emphasized the 'doesnt mean anything' part more idk -> some forbidden feelings kinda spark anyway but one or both of em are just kinda. ignoring/denying it lol -> ive had a specific image in my brain for a Long Time of like. cater kissing lion boy. then being like ✌️its ok, its just for fun dont worry doesnt mean anything ✌️ -> and like its a mutual neutral feeling At First but like eventually i think their Situation falls apart for one reason or another and theres Tension

^i said takes place the year before the game starts but i think i also had it in my mind toying w/the idea of it as like a SUMMER FLING/ROMANCE(?) that ended RIGHT BEFORE school started. or idk maybe it ended right before they got out for break. WHATEVER.

point is those screenshots are from book 2 which is still pretty early on in the school year so ive got the vibe of like "oh things are still awkward between them, the 'breakup' is still relatively fresh, and leona feels bitter about it and is playing extra hardball with these guys and also harshly teasing them about it bc caters there and hes Emotional but taking it out sports style" lol. and supplementing that Specific Image In My Head^ i imagine in that convo in the screenshots w/cay being like 😔leona sweetheart plz chill😔 leona would just be like 😒well. it 'Doesnt Mean Anything' so whats the problem here 😌 😒

anyway. you maybe didnt really ask for the extra headcanon au lore whatever details but i gave them to you anyway LOL my LeoCay Messy Breakup AU. but i ALSO just like drawing them together bc cay is my fave and fun to draw, and leona is Also fun to draw 😔 my fave character cay + character i have been dragged kicking and screaming to kind of respect over time KLJFSDKLJFL every time leona says or does something that makes me think hes cool or smart i get SO MAD about it. seething at book 6 LOL SJDKLFJD twst with their damn complex characters making me Think Deeply 😒 and then i steal their deep blorbos and put them in my funny little barbie dreamhouse soap opera recycled romance drama plotline loop forever and ever and ev

ahem. so yea on the surface. pair that probs would never ever work out HOWEVER it's MY mind palace and i can make up whatever silly rules i want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#literally sat here head in my hands irl for a few seconds bc i was so embarrassed typing all this LOL had 2 pause and recollect myself #still gonna tag it tho. i have to desensitize myself 💪 #twisted wonderland #cater diamond #leona kingscholar #twst #cereal tries to draw #if the readmore doesnt work im committing crimes. but usually it works after i edit and re-add it lol #i have a lot of cay ships bc cay is a fave character and #i cant help but put my fave blorbos through the 'everyone should love u' machine #listen not everything is about shipping however i simply Enjoy It #it is FUN #<- me defending myself when literally no one is challenging me lol #SORRY it's 1am im Getting Scared lol #its the danger hour the Big Emotions time lol time for BED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[xbunny-k]

The Actor & I: PART TWENTY-EIGHT – Anastasia? Are You Ok?

This is part TWENTY EIGHT of a very long, SLOW BURN series on Austin Butler and a Production Assistant on set of Elvis (2022).

Masterlist here!

Anything italicized is main character’s thoughts!

Warnings: *this next entry will discuss an abusive relationship (emotional and physical) can DM you a recap w/out that part of the story if you need!* Possessiveness, smidge of misogyny, Smut, Fluff, eventual Spoilers for Elvis (2022), language (If i missed anything, please comment so i can add!)

Tags: @manddor @pumkiinpasties​ @its-funny-til-its-not​ @karamelcoveredolicity @butlerstyles @feral4austinbutler @mirandastuckinthe80s @emilykolchivans @atombombbibunny @francescababy @starry-night-20 @yeetfack-blog @milaa24 @londonalozzy @xo-aurora @chaoticbilly @mamaspresley @sageskywalker @cryingabtab @readerloverlevy @jakiki94 @dancer4j @pennyroyalcreep (Let me know if you’d like to be added!)

Please, if you like this, share it, comment, like it and enjoy xx

The next few days at work fly by as I’m busy preparing to be out of office for over a week to travel to Memphis with Austin, Baz and a few other people from Baz’s team. By the time it’s Friday night, I regret making plans tonight with my friends, but it’ll be good to see them and decompress from work a bit. I change into a black dress after getting ready for the night with my friend Nicole. I’ve been drinking a bit while getting ready and decide to take some pictures and actually post on Instagram, which is not very on brand for me. I giggle posting the photos thinking they’re a bit risqué of me in a mini dress on the bed, but who cares.

A few hours later, we’re leaving dinner with a group of friends and head out to a club, which is not my thing at all, but it’s for our friend Justin’s birthday. Awhile after being on the dance floor and drinking a bit, I decide to sit down and check my phone. As soon as I see the notifications, I feel like I sober up a bit. 3 texts from Kelsey, she’s with us, why is she texting me? 5 texts from Austin, I….

I decide to open Kelsey’s texts first since it’s weird she’s texting me since she’s with us, but she runs over to me before I can read them. “Ana, did you see what I sent you?! Why is he commenting on your Instagram. Like he deleted it, but still,” she screams over the music pulsating through the club. “What,” I yell back at her. She points at my phone before sitting down next to me. Her texts look panicked starting with, “OMG!” to “ANA!!!” and then finally a screenshot of my Instagram. Austin had commented a red heart emoji. I feel myself blush but try to hide it from my best friend.

I then realize I had texts from Austin. I rush to open them but try to shield them from Kelsey who is right next to me.

“Ok, I went to the grocery store and you’re going to think I’m crazy for how much stuff I bought.”

“I know we’re hanging out tomorrow, but what are you up to tonight?” “Your post…you look really great.”

“Where are you headed tonight?”

“Sorry for all the texts, I started drinking with some friends and…I just wanted to talk to you.”

I smile at the last one because I too want to talk to him. I kinda miss him even though we spent a lot of time together this week… As I’m deep in thought about texting Austin back, I see the last person I would ever want to see. What is he doing here? I need out of here.

I feel Kelsey grab my arm and I look at her. It’s the look best friends know what it means right away, “No I’m not ok, we need to leave.” She nods and grabs her purse and I follow suit, but as we’re getting up, my ex, Brandon, approaches me and leans down whispering into my ear, “Oh hey, Anaaa. You look good.” I roll my eyes and nod as politely as I can while gripping onto Kelsey’s arm for dear life.

I look over at my friend Justin and yell over the music, “I’m sorry to leave early on your birthday, but we’re gonna head out!” He comes over and whispers in my ear, “I don’t know why he’s here; I don’t even know the last time I talked to him…” I shrug and hug him as I try to make my way out. Before I can get away from our table, Brandon comes up and tries to pull me away from Kelsey. Kelsey pulls me on the other side of her, placing herself between me and my ex as she shouts at him, “Not tonight, Brandon. Just leave her alone.” Apparently, this is loud enough to get a bouncer’s attention as a bouncer makes his way over to us. I make eye contact with the bouncer and then look at Brandon and it seems the bouncer understands as he goes to ask Brandon to leave.

Kelsey and I try to leave the area, but with a rope tying off the area, we get a little stuck. Brandon comes up behind me following the bouncer and says loudly for anyone to hear, “You look good for a slut. Anyone want an easy time? Look over here.” I try to hide myself out of embarrassment for the scene he’s causing and to hide my expression from Kelsey. I don’t want her to see he still has the ability to make me feel so small. We broke up a while ago after I finally realized he was being abusive to me and it’s taken me time to heal, but his words still hurt. Kelsey pulls me out and before I know it, we’re in an Uber headed to my place.

Once we get back to my place, she offers to come up, but I just tell her I’m tired and gonna go to sleep. I promise to text her the next day and then head upstairs. The minute I get inside I slide down the other side of the door and just burst into tears. It’s not so much what my ex was yelling, just the place it brought me back to. I work so hard to not think about my past and anything that happened with Brandon but seeing him and feeling his grip on my arm. I feel my phone vibrate in my bag and pull it out. It’s just Kelsey letting me know she got home and to call her if I need her. I gasp for breath in between tears and switch from my messages to the phone call screen and before I know it, I’m waiting for an answer.

Eventually, I hear Austin say, “Anastasia? Are you ok? It’s so late.” There’s no way he can’t hear my tears as he then just asks, “Are you at home?” I nod and realize he can’t see me nodding, but I cannot bring myself to stop crying as I just whimper out, “Yyy-es.”

He firmly responds, “I’m on my way, I’ll be there in 15 minutes, ok, Anastasia?”

In what feels like no time at all, Austin arrives to my apartment and softly knocks on the door. I’m still sitting on the floor right against the door, so I just slide up and open the door. Austin is in a t-shirt and sweat shorts and his face falls as soon as he sees me. “Oh, Anastasia, what’s wrong,” he asks as he walks in my apartment and closes the door behind him. He pulls me in immediately into a hug and whispers, “It’s okay, baby. Let’s get you to bed.” He kisses the top of my head and guides me to my room. “Do you wanna take your shoes off and I’ll get you something comfy to wear,” he asks, but I grab his arm. “Don’t go, please,” I quietly beg. I slide out of my heels and lay down on my bed. Austin sits in the space next to me and I can feel him looking at me trying to figure out what to do or say.

Ana, you need to say something. He isn’t your boyfriend, but you called him and begged him to come over.

I tune my thoughts out as I don’t have the energy to be thinking about work or what Austin actually is to me. I just needed my friend who would be there for me without question. Kelsey wouldn’t judge me, but she would just tell me to wisen up and not dwell on it. She’d be right, but I just need to let the emotions out. I can’t bottle up how much seeing my ex and feeling his skin on mine, even if just a brief second, hurt me. It took me back to such a dark place.

While my head is spinning, I realize Austin has gotten up from the bed. “I’ll be right back, I’m just gonna get you some water,” he says as he bends down to me and rubs my cheek softly with his thumb. I nod and he hurries out to my kitchen. I see him come back towards my bedroom, but he goes into my bathroom. I try to relax my mind and calm myself down to stop crying. I can feel my tears streaming down my face, but I finally am able to catch my breath and feel the sobbing stop.

Austin appears at my side crouched down facing me. He has some Tylenol and water held out for me, which I gladly take. He takes the water glass and offers me a make-up removing wipe, which makes me giggle. “There she is,” he smiles softly at me. I take the wipe from him and sit up a bit to take my make-up off. Once I’m done, he caresses my face with his thumb and says, “Much better.” I can feel more tears coming as I lay down again and I quietly ask, “Come lay down with me?” Austin with zero hesitation slides out of his shoes and is laying down opposite me. He wraps his one arm around me and uses the other to rub my arm. He quietly asks, “Anastasia, do you wanna tell me what happened?”

I sigh and quietly say, “No, but I feel like I owe you an explanation.” He turns me around so I’m facing him, and he says, “You don’t owe me anything. We can just lay here until you fall asleep, ok?” I nod and stay laying facing Austin. I run my fingers on his chest over his t-shirt. His eyes darken quickly, but as I look up into them, they soften back to their normal icy blue and he softly says, “Everything is gonna be ok, Anastasia. I got you, just go to sleep, baby.” I don’t have the energy to fight him on calling me baby, but I can feel my body react for a moment. I get so caught up in my thoughts…

He’s just a friend… but why is he calling me baby? Why did he rush here in the middle of the night? I was ignoring his texts and he came to me immediately when I called… Why is he looking at me like that? I just want to kiss him…

In order to stop from thinking so much and doing something I regret; I decide to open up to him. “I was out with some friends and my ex was at the same place,” I start to say quietly. Austin’s eyes look at me with such focus, like he isn’t just focused on what I’m saying, but how I’m saying it. “We broke up on pretty bad terms… at first, he was my everything. My first boyfriend and my first…well everything. Brandon started out great, but then he was a bit controlling and would lose his temper with me, but just get angry. Then he’d start grabbing me too hard or shoving me, but he’d always apologize like it was an accident,” I continue, and I look away from his eyes. “I remember the first time Brandon hit me, he apologized immediately. I thought I was done right away. But he was so apologetic I took him back a few days later. But then he just kept doing it. He’d hit me or shove me, apologize and we’d move on before he did it again. He started just demanding I stop going out with friends and I really never saw them for months. I had just turned 19 and he took everyone away from me,” I say as I look back up at him.

Austin’s eyes are locked on me, and I can see anger in them. He looks so hurt and I feel bad for unloading this on him. I think he can sense my thoughts as he says, “Anastasia, I’m so sorry. You don’t have to keep going if you don’t feel comfortable. I’m here for you, no matter what. You’re at home. You’re safe. I have you.” I look down from his eyes that are locked into mine and he reaches down and grabs my hand. I look back up at him and he quietly says, “I’m always going to make sure you feel safe. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to stop you from seeing him tonight.” I squeeze his hand and say, “I want you to know everything. It’s important.” He looks deep in my eyes, like he’s trying to get in my head to know what I’m thinking. He nods and I continue, “I was in class one day and ran into Kelsey, who immediately knew something was off. I didn’t look like myself, I was weak and just drained of any visible life, pale, thin and just no light in my eyes. It was summer, but I was wearing long sleeves and pants. She got it out of me that he was just hurting me, but she didn’t need to know anymore.”

I start to cry and Austin pulls me into him as he strokes my hair and says, “Anastasia, you’re so brave. You’re out of that time in your life and you’re so loved. You have everyone here for you and you’re safe.” I start to cry even harder. He barely knows me, but knows what I need to hear to be comforted… I bring myself to stop crying and continue, “I spent months living with Kelsey after she helped me just load up my stuff and never even say anything to Brandon other than ‘I’m leaving.’ I changed my number, stopped using social media and just learned to be myself again… My friend group, which was also his friend group, stopped hanging out with him. I really had a clean break from him once I regained my sense of self.”

Austin looks deep into my eyes as he pulls me out of our embrace and says, “I’m so happy you were able to do that for yourself. It’s why you so strong willed, you can really do anything you set your mind to. It’s why I like being around you so much. Anastasia, thank you for telling me.” He pulls me back into him and I grip my arms around him as we’re laying in my bed, on top of the covers and facing one another. I feel so much lighter after telling him all this; like he really knows the real me now. It’s ugly, but it’s what made me the person I am. “He’s the only person I’ve been with and just hearing him say things about me… just really affected me and I just had to come home,” I whisper, and I can feel his body tense up. Austin says, “Anastasia, don’t worry about anything he has to say. I’ve got you.”

#austin butler elvis #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler fic #austin butler x reader #austin butler #elvis 2022 #elvis movie #fan fiction #fan fic

[oh-snapperss]

the ethubs hot tea/stargazing concept

So I’ve had this concept rolling around in my head for a long time, but I don’t plan on writing a fic for it, so I wanted to put some of the brainrot and ideas I had for it here instead! I have a very short drabble for part of this as well I’ll post and link in this post later after I’ve polished it.

First of all, this entire concept came from this song. I would highly recommend listening to the song just cause it’s so good and by one of my favorite artists, but you don’t have to listen to understand the post:) 

Concept: During Last Life, Etho and Bdubs never managed to say I love you to each other, mostly because they never could find the right time (read: they were both too cowardly to say it). It’s not said until months later on Hermitcraft when Bdubs and Etho are finally reunited for the first time since Last Life.

and below ensues the gayest shit I've ever written involving hot tea and some stargazing so enjoy!

some of the lyrics that really made me think about this:

hold you in my hands like hot tea Knowing I'm safe 'cause you want me (Ooh-ooh) sitting in a garden at your feet You and me only Holding on and on You're clawing at the corner of my heart, I Can't afford to lose you any longer (Ooh-ooh) holding you like hot tea You and me only Holding on and on

Etho spending his exile hyping himself up to finally say it

Going into exile partially because he feels like he couldn’t keep Bdubs safe in LL and wanting to prove to himself he can keep Bdubs safe (ex. the raids/defeating the dragon_

Bdubs waiting and waiting and waiting for Etho, knowing he’ll turn up at some point

Etho winding up in Bdubs’s basement... Bdubs finding him... flinging himself into Etho’s arms because it’s been months... Etho almost saying it and getting cold feet again... Bdubs turning to leave the basement

“I love you!” 

Bdubs turning back and it’s just. a moment of eye contact before Bdubs is kissing Etho finally and he mumbles “Love you too” back

something something they wind up outside idk i think this screenshot sums it up best

something something the silences during LL never felt right because there was always so much left unsaid but the silences they fall into that night feel comfortable

there’s a special trust you gain when you spend a night like that with someone and just saying everything like your dreams and hopes and thoughts instead of bottling it up 

they start out that night just talking about simple things like Bdubs’s builds and where Etho was but as the night deepens they talk about deeper things.. wind up holding hands...

as the night goes on Etho and Bdubs find themselves closer and closer and the vibes are just. It’s not cloud nine because cloud nine would describe the moments just when Bdubs first kissed Etho earlier that night but it’s comfortable and content and safe, and it’s a very warm and soft feeling they have

When the sun starts rising they stumble back into the tower.. make one last mug of tea... stumble up stairs there are so many stairs and for what...  and yeah they just crash into bed and they’re fucking out for most of the day

the lyrics of the song just scream ethubs in hermitcraft to me i meannnn just look at this:

Looking into your eyes (endlessly) Falling into your lap (desperately) Sitting at your feet Soaking in all your energy Oh, right now, I wanna be Held too close

and a bonus screenshot: 

and finally i just wanna throw out a personal headcanon i like, not just for hot tea but in general i like to think that etho and bdubs have matching tiny braids in their hair like. in the back on the right. you can barely see the braids but sometimes they can be spotted:)

if you read this far, thank you! my insanity knows no bounds and i WILL ramble about my ethubs headcanons nonstop

and a special thanks to @peskyybird @bananasofthorns​ and @exactlymypoint​ for letting me brainrot literally all of this in their dms. yall are real ones LMAOO

#ethubs #trafficshipping #hermitshipping #etho #bdubs #yeah what's up guys i finally posted my brainrot #me when ethubs #me when stargazing #ME WHEN HOT TEA #[explodes]

[slimesaurian]

im gonna go on a rant in a sec. I'll try to cycle back and edit the top here to cw the post but if it takes too long and I forget or end up missing some im sorry

so a friend of mine just got outed to her ultra religious parents by her fucking shitty ex. it really fucking sucks and I so badly want to [redacted] the dude who did it. It especially sucks because like, I befriended this gal maybe a year into transition and she was still closeted/figuring stuff out at the time but would ask me some stuff about transition and I was happy to help. My first "baby trans" of being a woman who was out.

anyways her boyfriend seemed okay on twitter, tbh was always a bit annoying but then again who am I to judge. Our interactions were alright and it was just neat having some moots. Then twitter shat the bed and I made a lil friend server on discord for people I liked. I ended up sending a invite to both cuz they expressed interest and unfortunately the annoying vibes from boyf were correct. Dude would ping her in the server to get him to respond to their dms and say a buncha yikes things. I think he even mentioned being republican or smth which wasnt a hit in the "leftist tranny" discord server. Mostly he made peeps uncomfy but I was hesitant to give the boot to him because of his connection to someone I liked.

Then there was one point where I was in vc with him and baby trans messaged me saying "hey be careful with what you say around him" and then sent me a screenshot after he ended up going on a tirade against her for expressing interest in piercing her nipples at some point

1: bullshit lmao

2: very clearly controlling behavior and an implicit threat

at this point, i basically just stopped interacting with the dude in the server. I very much wanted to kick him, both from the server and irl but I was worried about escalating things and putting my friend in danger so I kinda just bit my tongue. eventually they broke up and I asked whether she'd like me to kick him or not and she told me she I didnt have to if I were comfy with him. I still didnt kick cuz I was worried about retaliation but my man was on thin ice, especially because I had just settled into a new place after fleeing a controlling man so I was not pleased with him.

Anyways then I made a joke about being gay in my sapphic tranny server and he was like "Wait, you like MEN????". Honestly, I had never felt like you could hear a pin drop in a digital space before. Anyways yeah I pulled out the boot after that.

Then dude was insistent on vc'ing me to "talk about what happened" and wouldnt stop messaging me trying to set up this call rather than just explain in text. Honestly I got the vibe this was intentional, I've had too many HR meetings to really buy that shit any more. I decided to entertain him just to get him off my back but then he kept pushing me so I eventually said I'll think about it. dude kept pushing and pushing me over text for updates for the next three days where I honestly just fucking ghosted him because of other life shit. Eventually I caved and told him to give me some space because I needed it and he went off about "Do you see how thats better than no response?" and then went on to talk about how "this issue isnt that big in the first place"

At that point I just never talked to him again. I figured his beef was with me and he has no leverage so I'm safe and hopefully baby trans is safe. Anyways fast forward half a year and god damn this girl has blossomed in the presence of other folks helping her through this stuff (if you end up reading this somehow, love you girl 💗). Unfortunately she learns that shitty ex has told ppl she cheated on him and thats why they broke up (girl absolutely has been too timid to pursue anything since, this is 100% a boldfaced lie. But gosh you rly should ask alex out already). She ends up making a very calm post clearing the air about how this isnt the case and she didnt feel safe around him due to the threat of being outed (above). No @'s, no names, just a simple post.

And then her dad gets a text talking about every little thing that could be used against her, from her caffeine addiction (lmfao) to her not rly being christian and eats weed gummies. Oh and, you know, she "wants to identify as a woman and have started taking drugs for hormone replacement therapy". As an aside, the text mentions she's "been dating a man for a year now" and "have sucked a couple of dicks". but who's dick i wonder 🤔. Also she's "never liked women and is attracted to penises" if this werent so fucking awful id be laughing my ass off.

The text ends with "I'd suggest confronting [deadname] about this since they're clearly out of your control and could learn a lesson about insubordination and respect". Not rly being subtle there bud. Anyways, me and my friends have spent all fucking day making sure our gal is safe and has a place to stay and are emotionally supporting her and I'm just so fucking angry. Her entire life has been uprooted, her autonomy violated, her existence endangered because this fucking prick decided he wants to be a petty motherfucker. For the record, she has temporary housing and is safe right now, but she's going to come out of this with such deep scars.

I think the worst part is, is that he's got a lot of trans women friends/mutuals. He was practically bragging about it in my server. Other trans womrn are in danger around this man and his vindictive rage but I dont have the energy to do anything more than try being there for my friend and help her through this. I'm just angry and sad and worried and tired. I hate this man. I hate people like him. I hate the fact that he will more than likely never face any sort of consequences for ruining someone else's life. I hate that society makes him feel comfortable where he is. I fucking hate.

I'm trying so hard to not succumb to hate and become this jaded feral beast but it's just so hard. its so hard seeing everyone i care about in this fucked up world get hurt over and over and over again. It's so hard seeing all this violence and pain and choosing to fight back with love. Every time someone i love is hurt it feels like a chunk of my flesh is taken along with it. a core of my being is robbed because I need to help. i need to be there. i need to counterract the world. but its not enough and itll never be enough and ill just wear myself thinner and thinner each day until all thats left is my bones bleaching in the sun. but what else can i do? the rabid dog gets put down. i just want to be safe and help my friends be safe and i want us all to live.

i dont know any more.

edit:

I think one of the worst parts is knowing that it's within my power to hurt him back. Like, he's told me the general area where he lives in the past and it's honestly not hard to narrow details down from there if you're dedicated. I could realistically make this fucker fear for his life. But then I'd be one of those radical violent transgenders who dared to bare her teeth at the society that uses and beats and breaks and kills her kind. I have to rise past it. I have to choke this rising bile in my throat back down and be a good girl for a chance to be granted the fucking right to live. I have to sit and feel my heart break and break and break and break and break every single day so some smug white boys won't ever have to experience the fear of god for the slightest moment.

#rant #eliza rant #long post

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not wanting to talk to my exes anymore? It's been two months and I'm still thinking about this. I (22nb) was in a semi-platonic/semi-romantic relationship with two people (both 20+) I thought were really genuinely lovely. There were communication issues but we're all three traumatized and have massive issues with confrontation so I sort of let a lot of it slide. A lot of it was them just... not telling me things? they'd go to each other for support when they were having bad times but never me. Nor would they ever tell me what was going on - both would just vanish and not respond for like 3 to 6 hours every evening with no warning. I did ask at one point if one of them could at least just... drop us a message and be like "talk later, having a hard time". Which I feel like isn't unreasonable? It apparently was though.

So February into March this year was really tough. I was in my final year (technically the final two months!!) of my undergrad and coping with some abuse in therapy, so I was a bit more all over the place. One of them started really just.... not talking to me and the other started being really off. Like if I spoke to them, it was in dms and never as a group until they wanted to call and play something in the evening.

In March, I had a massive mental health crisis personally and due to some really unfortunate circumstances, ended up unmedicated. This resulted in a psychotic episode (that I identified and informed them about). During this, one of them suggested that if I was having such a hard time with them, if breaking up would be better. And I sort of lost it? I wasn't mean, but I was really stressing that my paranoia and erraticness wasn't about them - I was having a psychotic episode and was incredibly mentally unwell.

It ended up with them both being angry at me and not speaking to me for a day. Everything proceeded far more awkwardly from there. I got back on my medication and somewhat recovered, but ended up needing to move back in with my parents during the exam season (I was a danger to myself). The night I got home, they broke up with me specifically. Because it "didn't feel like we were partners anymore" and I was "unhelpful and uncommunicative". They wanted to continue being friends though.

And I tried to be friends for the next month. I really tried. But it just felt... hollow. And then when I tried to inform one of them of something, they started lecturing me on my behavior.

So I decided... I didn't want to talk to them at that time. And I said as much, in private.

To which they took screenshots of personal conversations and posted them to a group server to prove they weren't the bad guys to mutual friends.

There were a lot of other little things. Like they'd talk to each other constantly but only one would talk to me consistently and this was framed as a "you're bad at communicating" thing to me. I tried consistently to reach out and show both I cared and ended up just.. being ignored or getting one word answers. Me expressing boundaries such as "can we have serious conversations when I'm level headed and not immediately (like not an hour after, I mean Directly, 2 seconds later "hey anon here's a boundary I never told you" after) after I've had a depressive breakdown or me asking to take ten minutes to settle my emotions when being told things were both sort of dismissed. Or even just... they always Expected I'd be there for group gaming sessions with their friends/did gaming sessions without me but got wildly upset when I spent an evening calling/gaming with a friend of mine who lives in a different country (to the point of being petty enough to make another server without me with a couple people and game/call Only There for like a week).

I just got... fed up with being treated like the bad guy? I wasn't always nice, but neither were they. I tried consistently to communicate/be as reasonable as I could and just felt like I was hitting brick walls. Communicating how I wanted the relationship to look always turned into me mimicking an abusive ex or something (seriously - one of them said that something I asked for was what their wildly abusive ex did and therefore wasn't okay).

I'll also note - I only ever shared parts of the breakup with close friends in DMs or in private conversation. Never publicly, and with minimal screenshots. Nothing I said was in a public space at all.

So Tumblr - AITA for not wanting to continue the friendship?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[csmeaner]

So, a bit of a long post but this is Kitvorens’ related again.

There’s so much wrong with the CS, so I’ll break this down into chunks. In short, I got banned as of submitting this – hence why I’m writing it. I’m really tired of being quiet about this when I feel like I’m the only admin / ex-admin being targeted.

The owner, LaBaskerville/Minxy:

Everyone who’s been close friends with me got deliberately targeted by her at some point. She has scolded me passive aggressively in DM – I can show a video or stream the DM contents to the blog admin, I really don’t care. 

She has acknowledged my previous moderation experience but in a demeaning way, as well as allowed another admin (Serpen) to talk down to me for MONTHS (age hierarchy apparently matters over experience when we’re both adults.. but okay).

Minxy has also deliberately forced a user to interact with one of their abusers, citing the rule that they should be “civil” when the user’s conversation with the abuser was over liking a certain Genshin character. The reason for Minxy to flag them was apparently that the user had said something along the lines of “You can like Kokomi all you want, I’m just excited for Albedo’s rerun.” (paraphrased)

——

Below are screenshots of my DM conversation when Minxy was inherently forcing a user to interact with their abuser. I had been away from my computer at a very important dinner, and I was getting quite annoyed midway due to the near constant messaging from her asking on what to do.

In the second screenshot, I explain how long I’ve been doing moderating and attempt to advise her to NOT let these two users interact. It’s really not in my place to speak for the affected user’s experience, but they also were messaging me as they were greatly shaken by how she had chose to protect the abuser rather than let it slide (I had to step away from the dinner to calm them down).

Later on after my resignation (I quit due to Serpen and Hyde’s belittling in admin chat), there was a “performance review” where community members could submit reviews and critiques on admin behaviour/CS direction. People were really excited to see their critique get implemented, and another thing – only Minxy could see feedback (or so I and the public was told).

There was an influx of users deliberately targeting Minxy using my name, and from what I knew, they were inflating my “good deeds” to rub in her face according to this screenshot:

She also cites my friend group as the “problem” users shitting on her and her choices when this is an ANONYMOUS FORM that she herself set up. (the irony).

———

I also received DMs on DA and Discord stating that “my silence has been bought” (referring to the amount of money I made off Kitvoren custom auctions), which I can’t find screenshots of as I meticulously clean my DMs.

I don’t deny that I charged excessive ABs of 100-150 per custom slot, but that was the cap on the customs and I respected that after it was firmly established. The reason behind the high cap was that there was widespread dissent that my designs “would sell too fast” and “no one could grab them in time” which I tried to remedy by raising AB prices (and keeping SB low). 

Apparently that got more of the admin team’s hate because they weren’t selling out quite as fast (Serpen) or for as much (Hyde), and they started posting over users who were gushing over new adopt designs in general chatting channels.

————

Furthermore, she’s also passive aggressively done things like adding a “we will kick you if you block all the admins rule” (effective immediately, mind you, so I couldn’t do anything about it.)

Here’s our discussions (in the public welcome channel) about the rule:

I also don’t doubt Minxy and the other admins also shit-talk on members of the community in the admin chat – this I no longer have access to but ironically, the level bots she installed in the server fire off level ups when the admins don’t talk anywhere public (and exactly at the times when people associated with me got affected). 

Admin #1 (SerpenTTyhnu/NightmareMantis):

There really isn’t much from me regarding Tyhnu aside from the fact they overstepped boundaries and broke rules themselves (without backlash). Minxy though, has no problem hiring one of the CS’ biggest anti’s (and bug fetish artist, like come on. They literally LEWD their BUG OCs to HELL AND BACK) to be an admin. When I was working as part of their “team”, Serpen was SUPER ABSENT from their duties (they still are).

The second I started working two jobs in real life to make ends meet, they (and Minxy) accused me of not participating enough. Like…. am I supposed to never sleep? 12+ hours of laborious work a day wasn’t enough to excuse me (and the admin team KNEW I was working two jobs, I deliberately explained to Minxy and in the admin chat…) 

———

They wrote a HUGE journal criticizing Kitvorens a while back, where they call out users for “hoarding excessively” (dude, you own like 14+ , you’re a hoarder too) as well as insulting another user that had apparently (I inquired to that user about this) was because Serpen’s dreamboat got snatched out from under them.

As for chat rules, there is a “no uncensored insects” rule regarding photos now, but before that they would post pictures of everything from mantises to maggots in a general chat channel. The only reason why the rule exists is because I was apparently the final complainer before Minxy was tired of the shit.

———

And if you thought that was already somewhat ew, they always team up with Hyde to try and cover up anyone talking about designs (or art) made by me, for some reason.

At first it was just kind of “oh, maybe they want to share too!”… but when they jump over each time a different person would say something along the lines of “Oh, I have this new Ekko (AP0STASIA) design” or “OMG, I love Ekko’s art” it starts to get real suspicious.  This is a bit of a personal rant here, feel free to skip it:  Who the hell cares about Midas? OOOOhhhHhHHh look at my evil man who runs a cult! (every edgy person writes a cultist character in their life, or at least thinks about it, you’re not original).  This is Midas’ ugly mug, by the way: 

OH YEAH, and the Midas’ touch item is the MOST USELESS SHIT you can put on a Kitvoren! Who needs a golden touch item from a multiple part ARPG prompt when I can get one for TEN HEARTS (one fullbody doodle)!?

—–

Tyhnu has also deliberately talked down to me and others (I’ve been told this by a few other users and I won’t name them for their privacy – so take that with a grain of salt if you will).

And if everyone remembers the fiasco from the admins’ making a video where they discussed the moderation rules, this is a critique from one of the community (censored their name here for privacy):

Serpen uses the “I’m neurodivergent (ND)/autistic” card as an excuse and it shows, as this person isn’t the only one annoyed by that kind of treatment.  In short, Kitvorens’ is basically worth a money grab and nothing more. I actually used to care for the species, but now that it’s open, I’m going to make cashgrabs that ACTUALLY LOOK HALF GOOD and not like someone shit on the page (coughing at Hyde). I feel absolutely horrible for the other admins/GAs (except Hyde lmao) who has to deal with them now.

#proof #screenshots #design shitting #kitvoren #look at this shitshow #god bless you giving your experience with screenshots and god bless tumblr for not eating them this time #if you want to add more feel free to dm me a discord to get in contact #with #ekko

[around-and-around-we-go]

oh i should probably do a life update outside of i watch silly cannibal crime drama now, huh?

welp let’s see i…. went to a music video premiere (meat & greet by ice nine kills), didn’t finish student teaching so i’m redoing that, passed the first half of a big test i have to take while student teaching, no longer play dnd after being kicked from the campaigns i was in because of some friendship drama (more on that; if i can do a cut on mobile it’ll be below that. if not it’ll be like by a * down towards the bottom of the page), lost two friends the night before i reached 7 yrs clean from self-harm, reached 7 yrs clean from self-harm, was an extra in another music video (oh yeah don’t think i’ve really mentioned that here but that’s a new thing i’ve started doing when i can. got a taste of being an extra for a photoshoot for an ink merch drop, specifically their july nightmare on the ninth after nadia tweeted out about needing some people. pics and vids myself and other friends are in never saw the light of day cause there was an incident involving a shooting and a theater that happened like 2 days before the teasers were going up and the shoot was us being “dead” in a movie theater…), and that’s about it i think?

hopefully this works so anyway the drama/how i lost 2 friends the night before i was 7 yrs clean. So what happened was I’d taken a day trip after having a change of plans happen. Phone was almost dead so I put it in airplane mode as one does until I get home. I plug it in and take it off airplane mode only to find a wall of text from my now ex-dm (going to be calling him J from here on out). What the message boiled down to is J felt used as an outlet (which I was always open about dnd being an outlet for me), felt I wasn’t respectful of his time since I was five minutes late to a meeting with him and I somehow have time to party but no time to meet with him to plan something (reader I have never been to a party in my life, so I to this day have no idea where that claim comes from), I was passive aggressive towards other players (especially his new gf, calling her C) but didn’t provide evidence outside of one remark I made where I was out of line but it came from a place of annoyance, that I was a bad friend to one of our mutual friends (going to be calling her M), citing a tweet from my private twitter/vent twitter where I vented about being dropped/ghosted by a friend as soon as they start dating someone. He DOES NOT HAVE ACCESS TO BUT M DOES. And that I played with her feelings knowing that she liked me as more than a friend. Reader, I once again was never made aware of M’s romantic feelings towards me. I knew M was bi and that’s it. M knew I was aroace. He also thought 2 weeks was enough for things to get back to normal for me as if I wasn’t in a constant state of fight or flight and being beyond stressed for 11 weeks prior and was disappointed that nothing had changed.

He blocks me and I can’t defend myself, so I screenshot the message and send it to M. I wanted to hear M’s thoughts on the things said about her/that claim to be coming from her. I’d talked to M previously about feeling abandoned after she befriended C and started dating her now-ex boyfriend. We talked it out and I thought it was fine and handled. I thought we were fine. M had distanced herself again after the breakup with her now ex, so I gave her space, thinking that’s what she wanted. She didn’t talk to me and after a few attempts at reaching out and either getting ignored or very short answers, I stopped. To me those were signs she didn’t want to engage with me so I left her alone.

It apparently wasn’t handled. M told J I was being a bad friend because I ghosted her and wasn’t there for her and abandoned her. Which is what she did to me…. She took what she did to me and spun it to J. She took what I told her I was feeling and told J I was the one making her feel like that. Do I know why? Nope. And when it came to feelings, she apparently had a crush on me for about 8 months of our nearly year long friendship. M only stopped crushing on me as soon as she realized “you [me] were/are straight.” Reader, I never once said I was anything other than aroace and simp for male celebs/characters. M also said she only distanced herself after befriending C and dating her now ex because she felt she was treating me like a girlfriend. All we did was send good morning and good night messages and text/message each other a lot.

So yeah… two friendships up in flames because someone couldn’t be bothered to communicate their feelings to me and because they couldn’t tell someone else the truth. And M gets to keep all of our dnd friends that I introduced her to… and I think that somehow hurts way more than the friendship breakup. I lost a hobby and an outlet because of some petty drama…

#ash rambles #ash rants #ash’s thoughts #life update #long post #drama

[drizzileiscool]

anyways since I'm an oversharer here's a quick summary of what luka did and why I hate him. just cuz I feel like it :)

Fuck you, Luka!

Has a gore fetish (keep in mind he got me to post screenshots of higurashi when they cry, which is a FAMOUSLY gory anime)

Has a castration fetish

Suicide baited several people (has not done it to me, heard it from one of his ex-friends. honestly shout-out to his ex-friend for telling me or otherwise I wouldn't have known he was a shitty person)

Made constant sexual jokes around other people, even when they told him it made them uncomfortable (as someone who used to make sexual jokes as a minor, just. don't. don't do it. it attracts weirdos. and people won't like it)

LITERALLY gave someone ptsd and landed them in a mental hospital (dont know the full story, but from what I've been told, that person now gets ptsd whenever they hear the name luka)

This is just a small summary, I don't have the google doc anymore so I can't really fact check

I know some of this is true, though, since when I confronted him about it and told him I was going to block him, he deleted ALL of his old posts and changed his username.

he actually used to be my best friend and we would talk all the time and he had notifs on for me, so I assumed that he would have at least tried to defend himself in the dm. But nope! He simply deleted everything! Definitely something a non-pervert would do when confronted about being a perv!

currently, I'm suspicious of batbeato being his new username since they have umineko stuff as the pfp, and luka loves umineko and this acc has never once interacted with me before. so please block batbeato on twitter

anyways that's all!! once again fuck you luka if you see this!! burn in hell!!

#not drizzile #ooc #tw trauma

[moultinmush]

Part 2# A Fandom Worse Than It's Content: Server Raids & Targeted Harassment

I'd wake up the next morning to see I'd been kicked from the Reitanna fan server, and wouldn't know what had happened until informed by another fan. Someone by the tag of ''Denoriel'' Would make a server for the fans to flock to after the Kiwi Farms raid.

This is where a main group would develop: Mandi, the original server owner who largy was respected and well trusted. Yums, a person many genuinely liked and I am sure is still a friend of Mandi's.

There would also be Nothingisscary (Otherwise known as Scary.) He like myself, was eager to discover who was behind the raid. There was also his future boyfriend (Now Ex) Possum, who I am pretty sure was just there to point and laugh at everyone. And last, but not least—Cam, otherwise known as ''Powercord'' He more so passively floated through later events.

(Screenshot from Denoriels server)

I'd joined the new server, but didn't like the sound of it. It wasn't being run by Mandi, and that had ticked me of—So I made the sour mistake of making my own server.

The thought process had been I'd be in control of who was and wasn't there, and I'd gotten it into my head somehow I'd be better at keeping whoever was raiding us out—If only i'd had the sense to stop there and then, and deleted the damned thing. Instead of leaving and never speaking to that group again, I'd announce my server on Denoriels own, and would soon after find her in my DMs.

IMPORTANT: Before you read the below screenshots, I am dyslexic. That will be made painfully apparent when you try and read these. I am also dyspraxic, which makes using a keypad very difficult for me—It's why you will see random letters in words.

Continuing on with the timeline: I'd been interviewing people in my DMs who wanted to join my server prior as well, and after my above conversation would receive a message from a ''MaximumRide'' I did not know them—I had a bad feeling, but they seemed to be around my age and I felt guilty.

In retrospect—I should've known Max was Denoriel because of how bad they are at pretending to be 14. But they knew I was 15, and likely that it wouldn't be that hard to fool me. And well they were right, so I let them into my server.

Often in the server we would have calls, of which ''Max'' would be in with a broken mic. They would record our conversations and upload them onto the Kiwi thread, although because they had absolutely nothing to do with Reitanna, they would be removed pretty quickly.

The below screenshot Denoriel decided to show on the board, was a conversation that happened after I'd been kicked from their server.

What is being referred to in the above was a plan to make a fake server to invite people to, so we could figure out who kept leaking stuff onto the Kiwi board. What we didn't know was Max was Denoriel, and that ''Crystal Pepsii'' on the kiwi form, was also Denoriel.

people were beginning to feel like rats dropped in a oil filled barrel—Infighting began, and it was ugly. Most were exhausted, and at a point where they wanted to remove themselves from the scenario completely. Emotions were already high from the first raid, so having information leaked like this had the group scared of what could come next.

Sadly for Denoriel, someone would leak their conversations. Bellow is evidence of them having been Crystal Pepsii and Max.

Now you may be wondering, where did I get these screenshots exactly? Well, do you remember Dank Memes?

Dank Memes was how I found out about the above at all. Unlike Denoriel, they knew this had gotten way out of hand and gone way too far. So out of mild guilt and some form of common decency, he spilled about what was really going on.

''Santana Apologist'' Wasn't someone Denoriel even knew, but they dumped their server ownership onto them as their last harra to cause some more ruckus. We will not be discussing Apologist, as the shear amount of harassment they experienced was, yeah. I've heard past this they continued to receive harassment, which deeply shames and disappoints me.

I wish this was where we ended, that Denoriel ended up being the only abuser in this situation. But this isn't a story of how at 15 I was bullied by a group of adults, but of where Reitannas haters came from. So we continue on, albeit painfully.

Next ->

#reitanna seishin #bullying tw

[eclecticsoftgrungeaestheticzine]

In 2017 my Ex lied to the police our families and our children to take full custody of my son out of fear that I intended to do the same to her, a fear provoked by her husband's insistence that was what I would try to do something he decided without knowing anything about me or ever speaking to me about anything.

Because of the lies that they told I was restrained from speaking to her seeing my child for the next 3 years.

In 2020 I saw a picture somewhere online that looks like him that originated from Tumblr so I screenshot it we blocked it and asked if anybody knew who it was because it looked a lot like my son.

And as soon as I did the entire community within Tumblr at least in so far as anybody who followed or wanted to be followed

Used that inquiry as the opportunity to attack

Sending me DMs saying they killed him and buried him in the desert or that he was on the streets and a gay prostitute, or an hiding after being attacked by some random unknown individuals

And what I'm shocked about isn't necessarily the mentally and emotionally dysfunctional adults and I use the term loosely imagining that telling apparently killed their child is somehow in the realm of pranks or retaliation for some perceived insult ,

But really anyone and everyone else in any way ridiculous lives of the people with big mouths but apparently no balls who could in realizing or understanding what happened could dismiss or ignore the impropriate

You really shouldn't have to know or care about someone

To recognize the right thing to do .

I can have literally redirected all my assets towards the most creative or vicious civil lawyer I can find and almost assuredly had the most offensive of the perpetrators held responsible for the entirety of it and incarcerated for a period of 10 years in a federal penitentiary.

The fact that I don't feel comfortable being responsible for taking 10 years of somebody's life it shouldn't be confused with my willingness to smash their face into a freak show mess of blood and bruises, and I really don't need any other reason beyond the stupid shit that they have said since I realized that they were involved why does it matter they're grievances don't matter the accusations don't matter all that does is proximity

I'm not in any Rush I'll get to you and when I do I'm going to fuck you up straight out and I don't give a goddamn what you say ,

It's funny I told the stripper based on the things she was saying when I he must have put you up to this and for whatever reason whether sincerity or just seeing the opportunity to deflect responsibility she agreed he had

Now the suggestion is that I was just easily manipulated or gullible and I'm talking shit to an old friend who really hadn't done anything

But that has no possibility of being true

Because when I contacted this old friend and told him that I had been robbed and threatened by a sex worker who blamed him he for some reason thought he was in a position to provoke

You can decide why you're getting hit at the time if it helps

Asking someone to rob an abuse me or thinking that you can talk shit about it either way you're getting fucked up

I asked if anybody recognized that he's in the picture because I hadn't been able to speak to my son in 3 years

It's been 3 years since then and every message I've received about anything has been to explain some situation of which I never inquired imagining that who and where and what the people I left behind are doing would be some kind of source of jealousy or frustration which just further illustrates what a petty jackass mentally disturbed child this guy actually is

At one point when I suggested to her that she had somehow been connected to some random person from my past she found it funny and a bit delusional when there was nothing to connect them

I wonder what she would think now 3 years after suggesting it

3 years that he has spent day and night doing nothing other than trying to think of ridiculous Scooby-Doo drama scenarios to suggest to me

I will see what happened is your son is a transvestite gay prostitute going through a sex change who was attacked and he's in hiding and I'm the only one comfortable talking to so if you want to get a message to him I can do that if you suck my dick

I mean I don't know if I'm supposed to laugh or cry when a grown man sees that as the best use of his time pathetic