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some-messed-up-writing-for-you · 3 years

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Warning: emotional breakdown, mentions of kidnapping & near-death experiences.

Here's part 2 of Short Prompt #76 'cause I liked that one!

Enjoy!✨✨

Part 1

~~~~

The villain's footsteps somehow echoed through the empty void, filling the silence. Civilian tried not to think too hard about how there was a hand softly carding through their hair when Villain had them in a bridal carry, clearly already using both of their hands.

The keyword was 'tried' as their mind fought and struggled to wrap around the concept. Humans can't just magically grow extra arms! Though they were pretty convinced already that Villain wasn't a human, and therefore, such logic didn't even apply to them.

"Careful, you're going to give yourself a headache if you keep that up." - the monster rumbled with an amused tone.

The civilian hated to admit it, but their head was starting to hurt a bit. Though the stress of getting kidnapped and sacrificed to some kind of shadow entity certainly added to it.

...

Wait.

A deep chuckle. Civilian internally panics. "Shit, is Villain reading my mind?"

"Yes, I am, kitten." - the villain confirmed inside of the other's mind, relishing in their slight shiver. "I hope it doesn't bother you too much."

"N-No, i-it's fine." - the human lied, making the monster laugh once more. Well, it was certainly better than them getting angry.

...

It was quiet again, but luckily, it only lasted a few seconds.

"We're here."

"Here?"

Before the civilian could audibly reply, light suddenly overtook their vision, forcing them to snap their eyes shut with a pained hiss and hide their face in Villain's chest. Slowly, they blinked their eyes, adjusting to the dark's unexpected departure.

Once they could finally see, the human took a look around, letting out a small gasp. They appeared to be in a richly decorated mansion, a giant shining chandelier hanging above them, twinkling almost magically. Civilian's gaze wandered from one spot to the next, admiring the fine architecture and decorations. It was all breathtaking. They had never seen anything like it in person before.

Soon, a soft laugh broke them out of their daze, making the civilian realize that they had yet to get a proper look at the monster holding them. Slowly, they began turning their head, mentally preparing for what they might see, only to have it grabbed and gently twisted back and away from Villain.

"Ah, ah! Not yet, little one~." - the villain chided playfully, beginning to walk forward and up a grand staircase.

The human gave a small pout but obliged, keeping their eyes forward. They studied the halls as the two walked, trying to distract themself. The walls were covered with wallpaper that held some unknown-to-them symbol surrounded by a flowery pattern. Large paintings that hung around caught the civilian's attention, and for a moment, they thought that perhaps they might cheat the system and see Villain, who they assumed to be the master of the house.

To Civilian's disappointment, however, thick shadows conveniently and seemingly out of nowhere fell upon the artwork, covering what they guessed was the villain's appearance.

"Oh, c'mon." - the human thought, grumbling, but their momentary annoyance vanished as the monster stopped before a pair of skillfully carved wooden double doors. Upon opening, they revealed... C-Civilian's apartment?

They examined the familiar surroundings with wide, astonished eyes. Everything looked identical to the real deal! What was this? As the monster entered and moved them to their living room, their mouth fell open in shock. Was- was that their city outside of the window?! And- And people! Just walking around!

"W-What is-?" - the human stuttered out, never finishing as the other cut them off.

"I brought you back home." - Villain casually explained, as if this whole situation wasn't mind-boggling. They set the civilian down on the couch and proceeded to free them of their restraints. Civilian's gaze remained low and off to the side, their eyes only managing to catch a glimpse of a clawed hand cutting through the ropes binding them before the villain left their line of sight completely.

A sigh sounded behind the human, catching them off guard. When had the other moved over there? And so silently too...

"I'm really sorry about all of this." - the monster said, fishing something out of their coat pocket and bringing it into Civilian's vision. "Here. Please, put it on and do not take it off. If you're ever in trouble again, say my name three times, and I will come to your aid."

Hesitantly, the civilian took the object from Villain's hand. It was a small flat box, and inside, they found an expensive-looking signet ring. It was dark in color, made out of some shiny metal they couldn't identify. Looking closer, they recognized the same symbol from moments ago - the one adorning what they presumed was the villain's mansion - was carved into the ring's face.

Gently, Civilian took hold of the gorgeous ornament, studying it more and feeling it on their skin. It was oddly satisfying to the touch. But eventually, a thought occurred to them. Which finger do they put it on?

Probably reading their mind, Villain's hands moved into their line of sight again from behind them, circling them. They could feel the monster's head brush against their own, the closeness bringing an unexpected blush to their cheeks.

The villain tenderly grasped the ring as well as the human's hands before putting it on their-

Their left ring finger.

If their blush wasn't obvious before, then it certainly was now. Trying not to overthink the implications, the civilian focused their attention on what was in front of them, which happened to be Villain's hands. They hadn't realized it before, but they were wearing gloves with tiny holes made for their claws to poke out of so they wouldn't cut the soft material.

It was... actually pretty cute.

There was also something about their touch, they noticed. Even though it wasn't skin on skin, it felt... enticing? Alluring? Civilian just wanted to lean into it really badly for some reason. And for a moment, they could feel themself falling into a sort of haze, mindlessly attempting to melt into the other's hold as if they were the fluffiest blanket in the world.

But the villain pulled back suddenly. Whether it was because they knew something was happening to Civilian or not, the human wasn't sure, but they did, curiously enough, miss the contact. They wanted to say something, but Villain beat them to it.

"Well, I'll be on my way now." - the monster announced, not giving them a chance to argue and moving around the couch towards the door. The civilian kept their eyes low, unsure why they were still listening to the villain and not looking at them. After all, they could easily lift their gaze right now if they wanted to.

But then again... perhaps they were subconsciously being nice, just trying to be grateful to Villain for not hurting them and letting them go? Yeah, that... that had to be it...

...

An audible thank you might be nice, though. Civilian opened their mouth to spill forth their many thanks, but the villain was faster yet again.

"Try to stay safe, pretty one, alright?" - they asked with an unseen but heard grin.

"I-I'll try." - the human stuttered out, getting a chuckle from the other before Villain left, the click of the apartment's door and the odd shift in the air the only signs of their departure.

Civilian waited for a few seconds, expecting something crazy to happen, but to their relief, everything remained quiet and normal as it should be, and they let out a shaky breath. Carefully, their eyes moved back up, and when no clawed hand appeared out of nowhere to stop them, their body finally relaxed.

Unfortunately, now that the potential threat of some shadowy beast had vanished, the last few hours of their life fell upon them without warning. The civilian began to get crushed under the emotional weight, their brain forcing them to process what had just happened and making them relive the stress and terror of what they had gone through.

Tears began spilling from their eyes as their breathing turned into uneven sobs that they tried to control. They curled up on the couch, holding themself in a meek attempt to calm down as their thoughts spiraled out of control. Civilian tried to focus on something else, praying for some distraction, and they sort of got their wish.

They inhaled sharply as a wave of cool and calm suddenly washed over them. The feeling felt foreign but at the same time slightly familiar, and they soon realized its source lay at the ring decorating their left hand. They cradled the ornament with their other hand, running their fingers along its top until their cries faded into soft sniffles.

It only now hit them just how exhausted they were, and soon, the civilian's mind began to wander off into dreamland. As consciousness left them for sleep, they swore they could feel the faintest touch at the top of their head as well as something soft getting pulled over their shivering form.

#villain x civilian #civilian x villain #writing #writeblr #villain #hero #story #short story #heroes and villains #hero x villain community #writing community #angst #but also #comfort #and #fluff #?

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missnight0wl · 3 years

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If you look at patients sitting at the corridor, you will see some of them already wear green hospital clothes. So... how hard could it have been to put Jacob in one as well? Not to mention it would have been a chance to change his design to actually reflect he is a grown-ass man in his early 20s. Then again, they can't even do that to Bill so...

Oh yeah, totally. That’s actually what I had in mind when I said “pyjamas”. Admittedly, I’m pretty sure that all of the patients we’ve seen in the hospital clothes are adults, so that actually is a problem with Jacob. But that’s also why I suggested that “his” pyjamas could be reused for other people. For example, during the Assignments at St Mungo’s, there’s a part where MC and Jae tend to a patient – and that person has a child model. So, Jam City could’ve fixed that with Jacob’s hospital outfit.

Now, I see your point about changing Jacob’s model entirely, but I have a bit mixed feeling about it… I mean, it’d be a bit weird if he suddenly got a regular adult model. Sure, it’s been a while since we saw him, but still. That being said, I agree with you that it’s ridiculous that Jacob looks how he looks at his age. And the main problem here is that Jacob should never get a child model. I talked about it in the past already, but even if you want to believe that his growth was stopped while in the portrait, he still was older than MC when they started school. Therefore, that age difference should be reflected in their appearance. Jacob should’ve had Bill’s model. Period. Moreover, it’d make it easier to change him to an adult now. It’d simply be smoother. We haven’t seen him for a while, so yeah, I could buy that he’d grow from “Bill’s size” to adult size.

A similar thing can be said about Bill himself. To be honest, I don’t mind that he didn’t get an adult model most of the time, probably because we see him interacting mostly with us – the kids. But that being said, he could get the new model, for sure. I mean, they were creating his new outfit anyway, right? Why not design it for an adult, and then “transfer” Bill’s head on an adult body? I know it’s probably not a simple “copy-paste”, but it also shouldn’t be that hard to do for a professional. Then, we could even have MC saying something like: “Wow, Bill, that job really changed you! You look so mature and grown-up!”.

Seriously, some of Jam City’s problems have such simple solutions that it really feels like they’re trying extra hard to make things worse. For example, I totally get why MC doesn’t grow. It’d require adjusting all animations, all of the outfits would have to be created in at least two sizes etc. Frankly, at this point, I don’t even want MC to grow because I think it’s better the devs would invest their time in other things. What I don’t understand, though, is why MC’s model wasn’t a little bigger from the beginning. Like, you can’t tell me it was this hard to predict that making MC grow will be difficult. And sure, some people could say then: “Oh, that’s a big 11-year-old!”. But the first years are short anyway, so it’d quickly blend in. Then, we'd have a pretty tall kid and not-so-ridiculously-short-but-actually-quite-average teenager.

Besides, it wouldn’t even be that unrealistic. Personally, I was quite tall as a kid, always one of the tallest (or the tallest) in my peer group. But it lasted until I was like… 13? Then my growth slowed down a lot, and by high school, it turned out that my height is very average.

So yeah, Jam City could really try to slow down a little and ask themselves whether what they’re doing actually makes sense or it could’ve been done better (and more effective).

#hogwarts mystery #hphm #hphm jacob #bill weasley #jam city #ask #anonymous

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kalee60 · 4 years

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@larkboyd Larissa! I'm sorry you're having a really crappy, awful day! I get you, I honestly do, the last few weeks have been really... Well... trying is probably a polite way of putting it.

So therefore in response to your cry for a distraction and a little care and love - I present you with this little one-shot - I quickly threw it together in the last hour so apologies for any mistakes.

I hope your day gets better and that when you get home tonight you can relax, put your feet up and remember that even though we are all on opposite sides of the world @darter-blue @iamsherlockedondoctorwho and me (plus so many more) are always there for you 😘

Enjoy this Merthur fic made just for you!

*~*~*~*~*~*

Merlin sighed heavily as he hung his coat over the back of his chair, seeing that he was the only one in the lab's office once again. Frustration didn't even begin to cover it, especially when his phone started to ring almost immediately.

Eyeing the most hated piece of technology on his desk critically, Merlin tried to work out telepathically if he could figure out who was calling.

A rap on the partition window between his office and the next made him jump. Gaius was staring directly at him, giving him the Eyebrow of Contempt, a phone to his ear and pointing towards Merlin's, which hadn't ceased it's relentless mating call.

"Welcome to Camelot Labs, this is -"

"- Merlin you fool, it's me."

Merlin looked up to see Gaius run a hand over his face tightly, oh right. Maybe he shouldn't have gone out the evening before.

"Were you at the tavern again last night, are you still drunk?"

Looking heavenward, Merlin finally sat down, booting his computer up and wedging the phone between his ear and shoulder.

"It's called a pub, Gaius, and what do you need, I'm extremely busy." He proceeded to place each of his three coloured pens (blue, black and red) neatly next to his blank notepad, adjusted his takeaway coffee so the pattern on the cup faced him, then picked up the red pen and wrote his name with a flourish on top of the page. The heart over the I, probably the best one he'd ever drawn.

"You're on your own today."

"What?" Merlin yelled, dropping the phone to glare at his boss who just shrugged in return, the Eyebrow suddenly looking a little more friendly in the presence of Merlin's plight. He picked up the god awful device to exclaim hotly, "You can't do that to me! I can't hold the fort down by myself, take all these calls, I'm not a wizard that can magically conjure a second Merlin."

Gaius did not look impressed at his sarcasm, Merlin grumbled some more and took a long pull off his coffee. It ceased to satisfy.

"I'm trying to get one of the boys from marketing down here to help."

"Oh no, no you don't. This is why you're calling me through the window? Isn't it? You're too scared to stand before me and tell me - I'm telling you, you can't send me one of those lunk-heads, those clotpoles who wouldn't know their arse from their -"

"- their what Merlin?"

"Gaius no!" But Merlin was speaking to nothing, Gaius had hung up and was suddenly nowhere to be seen. Gritting his teeth, Merlin spun around to watch Arthur fucking Pendragon walk over and put his bag down at the desk… the desk right. Next. To. Merlin.

He wasn't having it. Arthur was the biggest douche to walk the hallways of Camelot, always pushing Merlin's buttons in meetings, and generally acting like a Prince holding court. It didn't help that his father Uther ran the company.

"And what brings you down to the bowels of the Camelot Labs?" Merlin snarked, then opened up his emails only to see a hundred new ones. Oh god, his day was over and it hasn't even begun.

"Gaius said you needed help, so here I am. I can go if you like."

Merlin gave Arthur the side eye, "can you read reporting figures to let departments know their results?"

Arthur nodded and sat his coffee cup down, seeing that it was from the same place Merlin bought his. Huh, maybe his taste wasn't that awful.

"Can you use the online filing system for collections and batch records?"

The nod came again, while Merlin watched Arthur place two pens either side of his notepad. Rookie. He wouldn't be lending his red pen out, even if Arthur begged. And that was not an image Merlin needed to see in his mind. Arthur on his knees, walking towards him… begging and naked.

"Fuck," Merlin exclaimed, noting how Arthur raised a brow sardonically at him. "Can you use a phone?"

"Can I use a… really? Look, just tell me what you need me to do and I'll do it. And don't be a dick about it."

Scowling, Merlin quickly showed Arthur the phone, the programs and what he needed done. He ignored the crisp, woodsy scent that clung to Arthur's skin as he leant over him, and he most definitely ignored when Arthur's arm brushed against his then left it pressed there, for almost a minute. Not that Merlin was counting.

Yes, Arthur was helping, and it was much better than being there alone, but Merlin, although very vocally did not like Arthur, had always found him unfairly attractive. And that set him on edge, made him feel itchy under his skin, knowing that Arthur, who was basically royalty on the London scene wouldn't even look twice at someone like him. So it was much easier to be an arse.

Four hours into their forced working conditions, Merlin had to admit that Arthur was actually more of a help than a hindrance. And it grated his nerves.

"Maybe next time, you should write the batch into the system before you give out the results."

Arthur's brows were in his hairline as he turned to face Merlin, and he felt a flush rise up his cheeks, it honestly didn't matter the order you did it in, but he had to say something.

"You really don't like me do you?"

The retort died on his tongue when he realised Arthur was serious.

"Err, well, it's not exactly that, I actually think you're -" his phone rang, thankfully halting anything else he might blurt out unintended.

A few minutes later he was off the phone and typing again, lost in calculations and figures when he heard the chair next to him roll over the floor, and it didn't stop.

Startled he looked up into bright blue eyes, eyes that were only a few inches away.

"You were saying?"

Merlin's cheeks filled once more and he couldn't help the small gulp, audible in the quiet lab. Oh god.

"I was saying that I think you're a complete arse, " Arthur's eyes narrowed at his words, "but if you had a red pen, and stopped taking mine, I'd actually admit you've been a huge help today."

Arthur's face transformed into a grin and Merlin couldn't help mirror it, having never been on the receiving end of it before, or had he, and he'd just blocked it out? But Arthur was still too close, within touching distance and as if realising it for the first time as well, Arthur ducked his head, before looking up again.

"Can I buy you a drink after work, Merlin?"

Startled, Merlin floundered for a moment, uncertain what was happening and why Arthur Pendragon was asking a lab tech out.

"With you?"

Arthur's laugh was deep and fond, another anomaly, "yes with me. I thought you were smart?"

"I am, thank you very much, ask anyone and they'll tell you that I can -"

"- no Merlin, I meant I've been flirting with you for months and you've completely missed it, haven't you?"

Merlin's mouth was agape, he knew it, Arthur knew it, and he snapped it shut. Arthur thought he was...? He wanted to go for drinks and...?

"I'm taking that as a yes on both counts."

"My god you're arrogant..." Merlin started but faltered when Arthur grinned broadly at him.

And feeling off balance wasn't something Merlin relished and as Arthur started to wheel his way back to his desk, he reached out, fingers tangling in the collar of Arthur's shirt and yanked him back. The wheels squealing on the floor.

Falling forward he pressed his lips against Arthur's, feeling the shock run through the other man's body, and Merlin smirked until Arthur's hand came up to cup his cheek, thumb running over the skin softly, reverently then pushed forward into the kiss. Oh. He'd not expected the feel of tongue against his, the slip of their lips as they deepened the kiss, nor hear the small unbidden moan falling from Merlin's throat.

It was the sweetest and most perfect first kiss he'd ever received.

"Well that shut you up for a minute."

Well it was until Arthur spoke. "One drink, that's all you get Pendragon."

And with a conceited smirk that hit Merlin directly in the guts, and a push of his chair, Arthur put his headset back on and looked Merlin directly in the eye.

"Perfect, I like my coffee black in the morning, preferably before I get out of bed."

And Merlin could do nothing but snort and shake his head fondly as he answered his phone, greeting the person on the other end brightly, holding Arthur's blue sparkling eyes in his gaze. Maybe it wasn't going to be such a terrible day after all.

#mywriting #Merthur #Larissa I hope this helps you a little bit ❤️#always here if you need a chat #gorgeous people are lovely #spread the positivity people!!!#arthur x merlin #you have this way of teasing an unintentional Merthur fic from me 😂

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neochatarra · 3 years

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8 Untold Signs Of Narcissist People

Sometimes the signs of narcissism aren't so obvious and narcissists fly under our radar. Not every narcissist may be a puffed-up addict or a Mean Girl like Regina George. If they were, we could see the signs from a mile away and steer clear. No, many narcissists are sensitive, thoughtful, and generous – until the charade wears off, of course.

That's why it's so important to know the subtle signs of narcissism that you simply won't notice until it's too late and they've sucked you into their region.

What's the Difference Between an Overt and Covert Narcissist?

Many people tend to consider narcissists as having extroverted personalities. They're flamboyant and demand to be the middle of attention – how are you able to miss them?

The truth is, introverts also can be narcissists. These are those who fool us into their web of manipulation.

"They're not self-absorbed – they're just sensitive!"

"They're not a nasty friend – they're just misunderstood!"

After forming a relationship with a covert narcissist, you realize that this sensitivity and isolation were, in fact, signs of narcissism. Since the signs weren't so obvious, however, you completely misjudged things.

8 Signs of Narcissism You Can't-Miss

Since the covert narcissist is best at hiding their abusive behavior, it's important to know the subtle cues that give them away.

1. They'll Never Utter the Phrase "I Don't Know"

I once knew a narcissist who was so averse to the present phrase that he would rather give someone dangerously incorrect answers than admit to not knowing something. He was confident in his woefully wrong answers, too.

Why do this?

Answering an issue with "I don't know" deprives the narcissist of important attention. The person seeking a solution will simply advance to somebody else who might help them. That's an enormous ego hit.

That's why you'll often find narcissists rambling on about topics they need no business speaking on.

2. They Are A Nasty Friend

The narcissist is usually a nasty friend but you'll typically find them playing the victim. confirm to urge all sides of the story if you're unsure.

What are some red flag signs of narcissism that indicate the suspect may be a narcissist?

• They get irritated when their friends invite help or advice.

• They don't bother to call or text their friends on birthdays or holidays.

• They don't return borrowed items. (A sign of entitlement.)

• They owe their friends money. they'll downplay this as "not an enormous deal."

• They embarrass their friends ahead of others.

• They hunt down or entertain their friends' partners or love interests.

They also treat waitstaff or service workers poorly. This is a dead giveaway. run the hills. Anyone who disrespects waitstaff or service workers views people as "beneath" them. Soon, you'll be a part of the inferiors also.

3. They Need To Insert Themselves Into Every Story

A covert narcissist might not demand everyone's attention. They will, however, still find how to form everything about them. an outsized part of this strategy involves inserting themselves into every story.

Is a coworker talking about their experience with homelessness? The narcissist, too, features a story about being poor.

Is a lover talking about his amazing trip to Vietnam? The narcissist also had a friend who visited Vietnam. And guess what? She heard it wasn't so great.

No matter the subject, the narcissist features a remarkable skill for turning the eye their way – regardless of how innocuous it'd seem.

4. They're Sensitive

At first, you'll appreciate their ability to freely express emotions. this is often an excellent tactic narcissists use to lure empathetic people into their trap.

Maybe a fast-food worker got their order wrong and therefore the narcissist hasn't shut up about it all day. Maybe their boss asked them to prevent playing on their phone such a lot and now the narcissist is crying about it over dinner.

As time goes on, you'll realize that the narcissist isn't vulnerable and sensitive: their fragile ego can't handle honest mistakes and valid criticism. To the narcissist, these are personal attacks.

5. They Form Relationships Based On What Someone Can "Do for Them"

If you're at a celebration and therefore the suspected narcissist suggests you ask someone because they will help together with your career or financial situation, don't ignore it. They aren't trying to assist you: they're letting you in on their game.

Narcissists tend to make shallow friendships that supported what people can do for them. You'll often find narcissists make friends with horribly toxic people simply because these folks have money, own bars, or offers career opportunities.

6. Their Stories Don't Match Reality

Both the overt and covert narcissist has an inflated sense of self. The thing is, they believe their lies. As a result, you'll often find they recall stories much differently than the situations played out.

If you notice that the suspect constantly reframes stories to form themselves the hero or victim, retreat fast – this is often one among the various signs of narcissism. By changing the story to suit their narrative, the narcissist is gaslighting everyone else involved.

It's not cute or funny to constantly need to correct them. Sooner or later, they'll start gaslighting you, too.

7. They Observe and Judge

"There's no way she will be a narcissist. When we're out with friends, she barely says ten words!"

I hear it all the time. By sitting back and observing everyone, however, the covert narcissist is silently taking notes and judging. I'm sure you heard all about her observations on the car ride home.

The narcissist must feel superior to everyone around them. this is often easy to try to do once you don't open your mouth to interact in conversation and instead sit back to require notes about everyone's shortcomings.

8. They Only Hear Bits and Pieces of Your Stories

Does it desire the suspected narcissist just isn't. listening? They're probably not. And if they're, they don't care.

Maybe you spent ten minutes venting to your mother about how you didn't get that promotion at work because you showed up late one solitary time with a legitimate reason. How did she respond? "Well, maybe you'll remember to point out up on time from now on."

You can't be the victim. Only the narcissist is often the victim.

You see this ton with narcissist parents or partners who listen only enough to toss stuff back in your face later.

How to Turn the Tables on a Narcissist?

Perhaps you've gone on a couple of dates with someone or a replacement coworker joined your team. you think they'll be a narcissist but you aren't entirely sure.

After all, the covert narcissist is especially cunning at hiding the more obvious signs of narcissism. Here's the way to turn the tables on a narcissist and obtain them to show themselves.

• Play along. Don't give the suspected narcissist room to regulate their manipulation tactics – play stupid and pretend you completely believe them. Use this chance to document their behavior.

• Remain indifferent. If you want to continue handling an overt or covert narcissist for reasons out of your control, act indifferent to their behavior. The narcissist wants to use your emotions against you. If you don't give them anything to figure with, they'll seek their fix elsewhere.

• Find Support: this might only include one or two people you trust. open up to someone who will validate and believe you.

At the top of the day, the sole thanks to truly turn the tables on a narcissist are to chop them off completely. If that they had any real intentions of adjusting, they might have done so already.

The narcissist won't suddenly see things your way. If they ever do, it's – a) for a fleeting moment and b) to use against you later. Don't believe the conflicting information you would possibly see from other websites or therapists – the narcissist will never change.

With a mental disease, a chemical imbalance within the brain may cause different disturbances that manifest as depression, anxiety, and lots of others. Although complex, mental illnesses tend to reply well to medication because it targets the physical root of the problem: like a chemical imbalance. Though it's been determined that a lot of mental illnesses like depression and anxiety are frequently caused by unresolved emotional trauma, often dating as far back as childhood.

Personality disorders occur due to a repetitive stimuli-reward environment. At some point in their life, the narcissist realized they might elicit specific reactions and emotions from people – and it felt good and helped them achieve their self-fulfilling agendas.

Anything but cutting them out of your life will offer you a mental and emotional breakdown.

No Contact is that the Only Way to Packing Up A Narcissist

Many narcissists have always been this manner – whilst far back as their teenage or childhood years. If you're handling a narcissist, you can't and will not expect them to vary their behavior now or ever.

Treatment for personality disorders often involves things like cognitive behavioral therapy. In many cases, a narcissist can also suffer from other mental illnesses like depression or substance use disorder. (You've probably heard extensively about these problems, too, when the narcissist needs your sympathy or someone responsible .)

ىDespite this, there's little evidence to suggest therapy works for narcissists as personality disorders are notoriously difficult to treat. the primary step to getting assistance is to admit a drag exists – the narcissist will never believe they need or are a drag.

No Contact is that the only option.

Trust in yourself and your network. Because once you get to the opposite side and stick with No Contact, you'll be amazed by all the amazing belongings you can accomplish.

#narcissitic #narcissist #covert narcissism #narcissismawareness #narcissus

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chromium7sky · 4 years

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Four-eyes| one shot damirae

A/n: I'm trying to stretch up my writing muscle before continuing other work. Sorry for crappy idea and crappy sketches.

Either her reason is to cut off from social interacting or just the aesthetic, Damian can't help find himself staring at her as she held her book close up, almost buried her face in it.

'What's with the pose?' Damian mumbled as he seen her sit at the living room, while other member interacting, playing even asking question while she simply choose to isolate herself by reading book way to close as if she literally pushing everyone away from her.

Damian as usual goes to the table which situated near the window and put down some document and report for him to finish and compiling. Other than patrolling, working on clerical stuff makes him busy.

Growing up training to kill, social were never be in his dictionary but it seems Raven's effort in social distancing is a bit...annoying as he seen her at the corner of his eyes while studying the statistic of how many times someone try to mess up banking system at the city then he decided to focus on his paper.

-------

He remember when the first time he was sent to teen titans by his father much to his dismay, the member seems to display a tiny of fear as they look at him like seeing a nightmare but for raven, she keep calm.

He thought she's different perhaps because she's the daughter of demons (the worst one), she takes no judgement. But still, he need to be cautious towards her.

Perhaps it is one of her trait where she tries to calm down her team mates if there's inner tension happening. If Starfire unable to calm down the fight between two boys especially when involves with him.

One thing he can't be control is him being hard head and stubborn to the point Raven almost sent him to another dimension. Raven's patience are not infinite and he definitely not going to be overboard with his attitude. Therefore, it train him to tolerate some of member attitude as well as how to cooperate and using other member's ability to achieve the objective of the mission.

He does prepare some plan and blueprint towards the teen titans member for tactical study. Beast boy and Wally simply scoffed as they skim up the document like it was nothing. They prefer to wing it in, as what they told Damian which almost makes him lectured them about preparedness and failure is only for people who don't prepare for any consequences.

However, Raven told him, he should lose up a bit and she does say the others are learning from him being better in tactical as she let him to observe the other member closely when they conducting some mission that involved less threat. She pat on his back, simply said " Don't worry, they got it. They learn it from you. " She smiled.

He felt something after he heard it. What is this flutter feeling in his chest?

His face felt some heat. what is happening?

Trying to avoid Raven from seeing his vulnerable state , he simply let out the sigh and step away from her. At the corner of his eyes he saw her face from pleasant smile to surprised.

Sometimes he cursed his past for not knowing the meaning of emotion. All he learn is vengeance and angry. Only those two. As soon as he move in Gotham, he start to learn respect, family love and worries. The feeling after being praised? He still figure it out what is it.

As time goes by, he eventually try to bond the team, helping them become better. "Dude, even though you'relike some sort of gremlin, I guess you are a good person after all!" Beast boy cracked then turn into a Macaque hugging Damian's face much to his disgust after he improved the shapeshifter's suit.

He sighed.

--------

After two years later, he's begin to be comfortable with the team and almost memorize their attitude and personalities. Somehow, he still haven't figure out Raven. When it comes to accomplish the mission, she glide through the air, launching attack and be as enigma and Raven-y as she can, casting fear towards the enemy. He swore he has seen the method before.

As soon as the mission over, she open the portal pulling the team back into teen titans tower like a worm hole short cut and after that the team disperse at the launching pad, getting rest or shower.

At night the team leisuring in living room but Raven spend her time in her room. But this time, Kori ask him to call her because it is the night of mandatory fun.

Damian keeping his composure, nodded and walked towards her room. He knocked three times, then he heard footstep walk towards the door. " What is it, Damian?"

Damian perhaps jolted a bit as he wonder how could she guess him but quickly discarded as he forget that she, is Raven who can read minds and an empath.

"Its Kori. She said it's Mandatory night." Damian simply state the business. Then he heard silent for a while.

"C-could you tell Kori that I'm not coming?" She spoke behind the door.

"I'll inform to her then." Damian nod and walk away. He inform to Kori about it.

"Ah, too bad. I wanted to show this new movie. Guess it's just us then." She smiled.

"I'm not coming too, Kori. I'm afraid if there's any emergency mission, I don't think she could handle it alone." Damian crossed his arms.

"Raven handle a case during valentine day when she was alone." Said Jackson as came up with casual clothes.

"Which she end up crying after she's back from the mission." Damian sneered at the Aqualad.

"I never knew Damian would care so much for a team mate or...are you planning something else?" Beast boy came up after putting his best clothes and his grin.

"Yes, I'm planning to take over the world, once you're back from outside please do inform me how it went so that I could proceed my plan." Damian said sarcastically.

"Ahah, don't worry, D. We'll buy something for ya." Wally pay on his shoulder.

"Just go." He shoved all three of them as Kori are about to leave the room.

---------

Damian now at leisuring room playing cheesy Viking 3 console mode to passed the time. The tower really quiet as four of them gone out excluding Raven and he really appreciate the moment of silence.

Suddenly he heard a fridge door open. Quickly he put the game on pause, and went to the kitchen.

As he coming to the room he saw the girl with bob hair style with dual color hair consist of navy blue with manogany red ending.

' That's must be Raven.' his heart spoke. As he pulled the chair at the kitchen the table, the girl froze.

"Who's there?!" She spun and held her hand that enveloped with purple energy towards him.

Damian simply stood there and so was she.

Both of them froze.

A moment passed, then another.

And...

"You ... wear glasses?" He rose his brow.

Raven with sweaty face, blink a couple of times as she adjusted her glasses with her other hands.

"Damian, what are you doing in here? I thought you follow others to Mandatory day?" Her hands with energy start to dispersed.

"That explain everything." His lips tug aside.

"What?" Raven confused with the answer he gave.

" The book, the pose, the distance." He chuckled. Then, he looks at flustered Raven.

"What do you mean? you still haven't answer my question, Damian Wayne." Raven getting confused.

"Ah, nothing. I decided to stay just in case of emergency mission and all. I Wouldn't let you handle the cases alone." Damian crossed his arm as he sit at the kitchen counter.

"So...you're doubting me?" It was Raven turn arched her brow.

"I'm not saying you're not capable. I'm saying that you'll need some back up. Two heads are better than one, wouldn't it?" Damian lean back at the chair.

"Never knew you would thought of that, that's very kind of you." She smiled. " An improvement too."

Damian clicked his tongue and looked away, but pink tint start to visible on his cheeks and his ears. Ah, again with this feeling.

He clear his throat a couple of times, then a mug set in from of him. "Peppermint ice tea?"

His eyes looked at Raven as she seat in front of him, with glasses and book on her hands. The Flowers of evil, as he observed the title. "Thank you."

As he sip his tea, he stared at the book. "Flowers of Evil?" As he pointed at the book.

"Yeah, might try to read something like old poem." as Raven looked at the book title.

"I could recommend Robert Frost."

"I did read some of his. The Road Not Taken." As Raven sipped her tea.

"I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference."

Raven blink her eyes as she heard his recitation the last verse. "So, do you take it?"

"Take what?"

"The road less traveled by."

Damian looked at her. " This is the road less traveled by." He smirk as he sip the cup.

Raven try to understand that line but Damian simply silent. He's quite enjoy the company he's having now.

"All these time, I've been wonder what's with burying your face in the book." He rest both of his elbow on the table as well as his chin on his propped hand. " Never knew you were actually Four-eyes, metaphorically."

"Are you, mocking me?" Raven furrowed her brows as she put her cup on the table.

"I found you looks more professional in those glasses." He smirked as he stared at her which leads to Raven unknowingly adjusting her glasses as she looked away.

"The glasses is expensive. I lost mine as I bought to mission when I first join the titans, so I tend to leave it at room and I had to use some of my powers to adjust my visions."

"But you could heal them?" Damian's begun to curious.

"Only limited time."

"Did you know there's is laser treatment for that?"

Raven surprised as she heard it. She seems to be thinking but then she put down her cup.

"I'd rather wear glasses than risking my eyes to go blind." She sighed. "Unless I end up become Bran the third eye Raven."

Damian chuckled. She's indeed full of surprises.

"If you lost your glasses again, do tell me. I might know some excellent optometrist to do excellent job."

"Uh, n-no. You don't have to. I.."

"That's what team mate for right? Helping each other?" He smiled. A genuine smile.

She seems stunned by him. Smiling. Damian Wayne is actual smiling.

"Besides, you in glasses, is a rare opportunity and quite pleasant to the eyes." As he get up and goes towards the sink to wash his empty cup. At the corner of his eyes, Raven were blushed hard then adjusting her glasses.

Shit. He cursed under his breath. She IS adorable IN glasses.

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adriennestar · 5 years

Text

F*ck you endgame. I've given it time but honestly I'll never not be mad about this.

Sometime after Steve goes back to the 40s

...

Peggy: Steve what's your spirit animal?

Steve: *sweating* why?

Peggy: Just for fun ☺️

Steve: *guilty tone* ...ostrich

Peggy: Haha, why??

Steve: *opens up the encyclopedia, turns to ostrich, and points to this picture*

***

Get it??!

***

Seriously though, they really expect us to believe that Steve would just sit back and let all of the bad things he knows are going to happen unfold without doing ANYTHING to stop them, knowing full well he's more than able to??! Really?? Steve if-I-see-a-situation-headed-south-I-can't-ignore-it Rogers, would never. Even if he tried, he'd go absolutely stir crazy after just a month of "resting".

It's an alternate timeline! So he doesn't need to worry about closing a time loop because loops are not how time travel works in the mcu. Endgame establishes this many times through out it's runtime. But that's a can of worms I won't dig into in this post.

I understand that he doesn't have to stop every single bad thing from happening but he'd at least help the people he cares about, like Bucky (aka his best friend since childhood and literal soulmate).

His entire trilogy is about saving Bucky ffs. From the beginning, Bucky is Steve's most important relationship whether you ship them or not.

Also, saving Bucky would already eliminate half the problems that were going to happen because he would never have become the winter soldier who helped "shape a century". Not to mention at least a version of Bucky would have a chance at a life without 70 years of trauma. Nobody worthy of mjolnir would ever let somebody they care about suffer like that!

***

Any ways, here's my head canon ramble:

In my head, endgame Steve didn't stay in the 40s. Instead, he retrieves and unfreezes his 40s self and that's the Steve we see dancing with Peggy at the end of the movie.

That at least seems fair, because 40s Steve is the person she had feelings for. Not endgame Steve who is 12 years older so therefore has been through more than his younger self and is a different person as a result.

And who knows, MAYBE after finally going on a few dates they figure out they're not that combatible and later on Peggy ends up marrying the person she married in the original timeline lol. But while that's happening, endgame Steve saves 40s Bucky and brings him home.

Finding out that Bucky survived the fall and suffered even more at the hands of Hydra, 40s Steve is furious. Both at Hydra for hurting Bucky and even more at himself for feeling responsible for that. He mentally kicks himself for not at least going back to get Bucky's body after he watched him fall. His drive to keep fighting until all of Hydra is dead or captured is reignited and he embarks on a mission through SSR/SHIELD to completely eradicate Hydra. With Peggy's help he succeeds. They also eliminate the red room and keep Hydra from infiltrating SHIELD.

After saving 40s Bucky, endgame Steve makes another stop to the 2010s and gets a few things 😉. He returns to his original timeline just a few seconds after he himself was meant to return after returning the stones. He sets his "time turner gps" for him to be sitting on the bench. That's why he appears so suddenly their. After passing the new shield to Sam, he takes Bucky to a private room and peels off his wig and the face tech that Natasha used in Winter Soldier to make herself look old from his face. He let's Bucky know that he really is retiring and where he'll be staying if Bucky wants to find him.

Bucky visits Steve many times. The first few times, they talk casually and joke lightly about how alien it feels to adjust to a new century. Then they talk about the war and their other traumas; about how they are both changed forever because of them. Many tears are shed as they revisit these painful memories but they help each other through the pain and heal together.

Finally they talk about the old days before the war, about how happy they made each other. It seems like everything since then has changed except their bond. It's still the only thing that makes them feel safe in a way that feels like home. They knew from the moment that bond was made back in their youth, it was unbreakable. So, they stay together, until the end of the line, like they swore they would.

I also have the image of young retired Steve secretly helping with future missions from the sideline 😁.

***

I'll say this a million times. Endgame Steve deserves a happy ending. He deserves to settle down, live a peaceful life. He's been fighting for so long that perhaps he has forgotten who he is without a fight. Losing his family/home (Bucky) probably played a huge part in that.

We all have our battles to fight whether they're on a literal battlefield or in society, but family helps to keep us anchored during tough times.

Steve had to watch his family die, twice.

Steve retiring in his present (the 21st century) where he doesn't know what the future holds, is much better than him running away to the past and burying his head in the f*cking sand to all the suffering he knows is going to happen to the people he loves. Again, nobody worthy of mjolnir would take the second option.

***

I know that endgame was forever ago but I have a fix it fix coming soon!

#captain america #bucky barnes #stevebucky #stucky #endgame #endgame aftermath #wtf #bad ending #steve and bucky #no

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aqua-eros · 5 years

Text

MONSTA X astro notes: Lee Jooheon 🐝

Ladies, gents and non-binary friends, I welcome you once again on this beautiful day to take your time and appreciate the wonderful person that is the main rapper, composer and absolute cutie of Monsta X. Let's see what kind of stars guide the path of Lee Jooheon!

Sun in Libra

Looking at all personal placements as a whole, that will be discussed further on, I can say that his Libra energy is a lot more present and action-based (as it should be), especially as it's backed up by his strong mars. In a way, neither his mars nor other planets push away or cast shadows on his sun, aka ego, personality and individuality, but embrace the sun even more, let it shine and be known.

The core self of Jooheon is represented by the cardinal air sign of Libra, and as the combination suggests, it reflects the need for fairness, equality, objectivity and justice onto the man as well. As a result, such matters of law can be rather important to him, knowingly or not. Of course, fairness or lack of it is a trigger for many people and signs, but it comes from a very personal place for Libras.

this may result in him being secretly/openly petty for certain reasons, most likely associated with justice or lack of it. if someone isn't being honest or fair with him, that's not something he'll easily forget. forgive? probably. forget? no, sir

would not tolerate lack of manners, impoliteness, unreasonable rudeness towards him or other people. such behavior is simply illogical to him when not backed up by rational motives

fashion sense? on point🛍

I bet it stings his ego every time someone tries to scare him lmao, for he is a known scaredy cat

may be somewhat quick to judge a book by it's cover, even if he's keeping it to himself. but being so observant and good at understanding people, he can't help it, he will instantly know (or not) who he's dealing with

charming��

knows how to appeal to others, how to attract and make them fall for whatever his motives or plans are. knows how to work with people and how to work them, so to speak. this can be both good and bad, but also just a way of survival

harmony is often the main goal of libra placements, therefore a lack of it throws them off, as well as their balance. it's an eye for an eye, yin and yang, and if that isn't the reality of things... well, there's no telling what could happen. keep in mind that we're talking about an air sign, and half of the time air-influenced individuals don't really know what to expect of themselves

Speaking of air, Libra placements are known to possess certain duality to their personality, for it may be hard to grasp who they really are on a regular basis. Sure, they have their own beliefs and ideals, yet they are fantastic at adapting themselves to other people, situations and environments. Some, usually wrongly, accuse such behavior of being shallow, indecisive, fake, yet it is Libra placements that know exactly how to act and what to say in order to get what they want. They take action to achieve their goals, and they have all the charm, social skills and creativity to win over anyone's heart. After all, it's hard to resist a venusian sign like that🌹 He lives up to his nickname, Joo-honey, for he is too sweet to ignore.

i'm sure every fan knows how much duality is present in Jooheon, for he can change character in a matter of seconds and not even bat an eye. from rebel to sweetheart, from sinner to the most innocent, you name it, he can do it all and leave you stunned each and every time

Libra Moon

More Libra energy!🌙 Having this air sign in the moon, a planet of emotions, feelings, instincts and comfort, provides for quite the peaceful, patient, cooperative and socially-oriented individual.

While there is definitely a rebel living inside of Jooheon, he is able to tone that fire down at least for a moment and display great skills of diplomacy, open-mindness and communication, for it is in his nature to get closer to people, form various relationships and bonds, explore them from every corner. He has great understanding of human nature, therefore enjoys finding out as much information as possible about the people he interacts with, relate to it, filter it in order to connect to a person as much as he can. This can grow into a natural gift of negotiation, observation, wider perception of the world and a fair, level-headed mind. Libra moons are good at listening and providing objective points of view in a situation that seems too emotionally heavy or subjective.

The paradox, often founded with Libra moon individuals, is their wish to avoid conflict and keep an emotionally balanced environment and relationships with people, yet somehow, they keep attracting that same conflict, arguments and misunderstandings into their lives unintentionally. It is possible that during these instances, Libras tend to mask their feelings too much and reflect on what others want from them too often, which is, sooner or later, perceived as something fake. Libras might even lose themselves in the process of dealing with others, seeing as no one appreciates their attempts in relating to others, keeping things surface-leveled and comfortable.

Such occurences take a huge toll on their mental and emotional stability, challenging them in ways they do not appreciate. At the same time, it is oftentimes relationships with other people that hold the many life lessons that Libra moons need to learn and accept throughout life. Such instances are even harder when lunar Libras keep ignoring their own feelings and needs for other people, bending down to please or being too accepting and understanding. Sooner or later, the glass becomes full and can break any moment. When that happens, the sharp pieces of glass will cut through anything in their way, as they shatter all around the place. Just like that, Jooheon may have his moments of sudden and intense emotions that hit him like a train, piercing his heart with unpleasant memories, experiences, silenced words and unhealed wounds. And usually, others get really taken aback from such uncalled behavior from someone who seeks peace, meaning that the bad Libra qualities can show themselves, such as detachment, coldness, shallowness, verbal attacks, along with all of the truth a Libra has observed and can't wait to expose about you. This is a cardinal air sign, and as much as they are kind and considerate, they see and know things you don't want to hear. Ever.

For Jooheon, it's important to be honest with himself, his emotions, experiences and naturally, other people. In order to keep the water balanced and even in the glass, he must steady the waves and stabilize the many quakes within him before the water can become calm again.

Scorpio Mercury

In addition to his already very perceptive sun and moon, his mercury provides an incredibly intelligent mind and sharp eye for understanding others' actions, words and motives. In fact, he craves receiving as much information as possible, especially the one that is hidden, secret and full of mysteries. You can barely hide anything from him, for he sees it all, in ways that you may not even suspect.

always thinks of what things he should/should not reveal about himself, therefore you probably won't get a lot from him unless he actually wants to open up. it's a very big step for Scorpio mercury people to open up about their genuine thoughts and feelings, so by doing that they might be overcoming themselves, in a way, showing that they are willing to trust you with their soul

no wonder Jooheon's rapping style and lyrics hit you like bullets. He has a clever mind, plenty observational skills and a wish to speak up about things that are not okay or not discussed enough. And when he pulls you into his spell, he shoots sharply and quickly, leaving the darkest stains behind

thus, on a certain level, his rapping can feel provocative. like an attack. a callout. a statement

has an opinion. a lot of opinions, actually, but will reveal the truth only in the right time and place

mischevious and playful, but his ways are not light-hearted. his interaction with others can seem confrontational

sarcastic💣

as much as he is an enigma, he also yearns for deep connections, therefore you might even catch him wishing to open up more often than wanting to hide

Venus in Scorpio

oof🌌

add his venusian loveliness and charm to his marsian/plutonian magnetism and strength and you have one powerful individual

the definition of alluring. doesn't matter if you want it or not, you're already caught in his web and you probably like it, even if it's a bit uncomfortable🕸

Jooheon is most likely private about his personal life or anything, really, which only sparks more interest in people

intriguing. you don't know what to expect from him next but you like the suspense, the mystery, the unknown

every venus sign is attractive in their own way, and Scorpio venus is attractive because of their confidence and intensity. first inpressions are strong and unforgettable with this placement

that intensity stems from the all or nothing attitude towards life, and it's taken very seriously

another thing is Scorpio's natural caution and sensitive instincts. they take their time to adjust themselves to new environments, as well as getting to know people. their defensiveness and sensitivity are spreaded deep withing them like roots, and they'll be damned if they ever show vulnerability. if they do though, it means they trust you with everything they have

which brings me to this: do not break their trust. one way or another, you will regret ever messing with a Scorpio placement. they don't easily forget or forgive

likes getting close, physical and touchy. maybe even too close sometimes⚡

driven, passionate and posessive lover. in fact, the intensity goes beyond love and touches on all things venus: art, friendships, material things, even beauty

ultimately, emotions rule over his body and mind, therefore he acts according to what he feels, no matter how suddenly or thought out🌊

Leo Mars

you think his Scorpio venus is confident? WELL let me tell you this: his Leo mars excels in that field

in any situation, no matter how loud or quiet Jooheon remains, he's always one of the most noticeable in the room. his aura shines and the attention comes naturally to him, which, btw, he absolutely loves and craves. Leo placements often live for the spotlight and won't be satisfied with a lack of it

hella creative and expressive of his emotions and intentions. sometimes a bit too dramatic or over exaggerating

can be easily offended at times, he's pretty sensitive

the whole world is his stage and he is the biggest star of the show called "life"

goofy, funny and playful🎈but also loud, bold and demanding

C H A R I S M A T I C, another reason why his first impressions are not easily forgotten. his presence is strong, his confidence is obvious, and his goal? is to dominate the scene and ultimately, win, either the competition or your heart🔥

passion is the fuel to his actions and he cannot function properly without it. there needs to be a constant goal he can pursue or do what he loves the most and because of that, grow as a person. his inner fire should never be put out, it is crucial for his survival and well-being

a true performer and skilled entertainer, born to fascinate and capture audiences🎭

prideful🗻

being recognised for his efforts is very important to him, on a much deeper level

as much as he might enjoy fulfilling his own needs and feeding his desires, Leos are also notoriously kind, generous and supportive to their loved ones. they love inspiring and boosting others self-esteem, so any obstacles and difficulties could be overcome even by the most insecure. they are wonderful motivators with insanely big hearts💝

That is all, folks! Thank you for stopping by💕🌟 and check out my other posts with Hyungwon, Minhyuk, Kihyun, Shownu and Wonho. As always, these are made for fun and should not be taken too seriously.

See you next time for the last, but never the least, post about I.M⚡

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ben-j-man · 5 years

Text

Secret War chapter 31

Link to chapter 1- http://ben-j-man.tumblr.com/post/180097372453/secret-war-chapter-1

A microsecond after my feet hit the debris; I was running diagonally across the width of the corridor. My eyes fixed on the Space Marines as their bolters opened up in a deafening crescendo and strafed my wake.

It was only four metres between them and me, but it may as well have been miles. As it was earlier, time seemed to slow. I could see and feel it all innately, when they were pulling the triggers and where exactly they were aiming a microsecond before it happened.

I weaved, ducked and darted countless bolter rounds. I'd lost sight of Darrance in the utter chaos of light and sound, being too involved in me living from one split second to the next.

My progress slowed to a snail's pace; I'd barely been at it for a second or two, only made it half a metre before feeling fatigue ebb at my limbs.

Hellgun lasers started to stream overhead and sliced into one of the Space Marines' torso. The bastard barely flinched and just fired at the shot's source.

I cursed, smashing away a bolt round flying for my head. I needed to get into close combat to stop them firing at the others, but I couldn't. I knew I couldn't. Even if I did, even with my enhanced abilities there was no way I could take on four of the Emperor's finest for very long.

"Faleaseen!" I screamed through clenched teeth. "I could really use your help right now!"

There was no answer, nothing, as a bolt round managed to skim my shoulder, but luckily didn't detonate making me reel back. Utter agony and blood abruptly ran down the length of my arm.

I cried out but managed to keep my focus.

"Frig it!" I roared, giving up on trying to advance and purely devoted myself in deflecting the bolt rounds, sending countless of them hurtling away to detonate on the walls or floor.

Another shot skimmed me, glancing off my ribs, throwing me off my feet and to the floor.

Winded, gasping in agony, I kicked out my feet and was up again darting and winding through the fuselage to draw their fire. I wanted dearly to look back to how my comrades were faring, but frigging didn't dare.

For a split second the Space Marines seemed surprised at this, then concentrated their fire even more on me.

"You aren't going to kill any more of my friends!" I snarled. "You ugly, misshapen bastards!"

+Attelus!+ Karmen cried. +Everyone is off the flier now! Get back and down, now!+

"Why?" I snapped. "What the hell do you plan on doing?"

+Just do it!+

I threw myself to the floor, screaming at the pain it caused, just a nanosecond before the flier smashed suddenly through the left side wall and into the Space Marines. The impact rocked the whole tower to its very foundation. The integrity of the entire corridor had already weakened, cracked by the Lascannon fire or else this would've been impossible. The flier's momentum caused it to slide and screech briefly across the floor then crash out the opposite side of the corridor. It transformed into a hurtling fireball that plunged through the sky like a meteor, and I could see the now laughably small figures of the Marines falling along with it.

It all happened so quickly that it seemed they were there, then they just weren't.

Then the void shield flickered and disappeared.

+Move! Move!+ urged Karmen. +More of them will be here soon!+

Slowly, I picked myself up, still awed by it all as the others hurried passed me. I saw much to my surprise that both Verenth and the stormtrooper (Who I was ashamed to admit, I'd already forgotten the name of) had made it. Verenth was helping the medicae assistant, while the stormtrooper did the same for Helma.

Arlathan was now up, helping the somehow still alive and breathing Jelket. Darrance walked by too, looking unharmed besides his broken arm and was supporting Hayden, who seemed pale and pained. How the hell the sniper was still conscious after suffering his injury was beyond me.

Next was Adelana, she wheeled Karmen's bed, and I tried to meet her gaze, but her attention stayed firmly forward. Her mask of fearlessness was gone, and she looked terrified, completely, utterly terrified. I had a horrible feeling she was scared of me.

Lastly, it was Vex, and the old woman, both of them had Torris' arms laid across their shoulders. Her attention was to the floor, but Vex was looking at me.

"Remind me to never to punch you again," he said, raising his black bruised knuckles to me. "Still hurts like a frigger and after seeing you do that..."

I nodded nervously, after seeing what I'd just done. Dodging and deflecting all that, they must've thought I was some freak, that I was as unnatural as one of those Space Marines and I was, to an extent.

With a sigh, I deactivated my sword's power field and sheathed it, slipped my hands into the pockets of my pants and followed them.

I was entering through the crimson curtains when I heard the elevator open and turned to see another two Space Marines emerge.

One was wearing very modified power armour and carried a bolter, a large crane jutted from the top of his back, and I could see he had the cog on his left shoulder plate, announcing his allegiance to the Tech-Priests of Mars.

He must've been the one who had hacked the security of Taryst's personal elevator, that was how they'd been here before we'd arrived.

The other was in very ornate armour his left hand was a power claw, sheathed in dancing light. His right held a plasma pistol.

I smiled at them, and as they raised their weapons and opened fire, I'd already stepped through the curtains, and the void shield was activated.

+Yes, Attelus,+ said Karmen. +Taunt the Space Marines, such a good idea.+

I took out a lho stick, placed it in my mouth with index finger and thumb then lit it.

"Come on Karmen," I breathed, even though the very act of speaking hurt. "Allow me some fun in life, please."

Her reply was an exasperated sigh.

In silence, we rode the elevator down to Taryst's quarters. I sat alone in one of the corners trying to cope with the constant agony.

All of us were exhausted or injured in one way or another. I was both. There was a massive tear right through the skin and tissue, down to the bone in my left arm. But already, the blood had clotted despite the hideousness of the wound, frig it was agony. It seemed my bone had deflected the bolt before it could properly detonate or else I would've ended up just like poor Jelket.

Disarmed, literally, and I couldn't help but smile at the terrible joke.

The bolt round that had hit my side had torn a huge gash in my bodyglove; there, a horrific blue-black bruise was in plain sight. Again my wraithbone bone structure had deflected the shot before it blew a hole in my torso and before the kinetic force could pulp my internal organs into mush.

Adelana was kneeling next to the old woman who was curled up in pain against the opposite wall. I don't know what I'd broken when I'd thrown her, but she'd seemed to be able to cope with the pain it caused until now. She was quite a tough old bird; I had to admit. It didn't lessen the guilt I felt over hurting her, though I'd saved her life. I could've been a bit more gentle in the process. Guess I didn't know my own strength.

Adelana suddenly noticed I was looking at them and looked back at me with wide eyes.

I smiled at her and despite the pain it caused gave her a small wave, but much to my hurt she flinched and her eyes abruptly fell to the floor.

Arlathan approached, limping the way while clutching at his side then sat beside me but said nothing.

I sighed, "what, you think I'm some kind of freak as well?"

"No," he said, and my attention snapped to him, seeing it for the lie it was instantly.

Arlathan sighed too and with a pained grunt adjusted his seating, "yeah alright, maybe a bit. We all saw you do all that stuff, dodging all those frigging bullets. I've never seen anyone move nearly as fast as you. Then we saw you get hit not once but twice, but still get up and still keep going, that's just...that's just…"

"Impossible?" I said.

Arlathan only shrugged, "it's more, unnatural. How? How did you get that way?"

I hissed through clenched teeth and closed my eyes as a new wave of pain passed through me. I almost lost myself to sleep in that second; it was an act of tempered will just to open my eyes again.

"It's...It's a long story," I hissed. "I'll tell you later."

Arlathan looked pointedly at my arm, "and that wound. I was given basic medicae training in the scholarium, and that wound shouldn't have stopped bleeding, hell you should be unconscious from blood loss!"

"You say that with Jelket in the room," I growled. "Now can you leave me alone, it's pretty frigging obvious I don't want to talk about this right now, okay?"

"You were the one who brought it up," said Arlathan with a shrug he instantly regretted. "At least give me smoke, could really use one right now."

With a heavy sigh, I opened my case of Lhos and handed him one. I was getting low, only five were left.

Arlathan smiled, took it and I hesitantly lit it for him with my igniter.

"Think about this," Arlathan said as he exhaled smoke. "If I thought you were some; therefore, would I be sitting next to you, smoking your Lhos?"

"Yes," I said, without missing a beat.

Then we laughed, laughed like there was no tomorrow, laughed with the idiot joy that only those who knew they had survived something they shouldn't have survived, could. I laughed even though each time it hurt.

Our laughter drew all attention to us and took us a good half a minute for us to stop.

I looked at Adelana once finally done, her expression was one of bemused, gaping horror as she gazed at me. The old woman had regained some of herself as she smiled at us in understanding.

"I can't believe, we are still alive," gasped someone, and we looked to see it was the stormtrooper, he kneeled on the floor, his Hellgun pointed to the ceiling. "We should all be dead, Space Marines I can't believe it, I just can't…"

He trailed off in his sentence, then he turned to me, his expression unreadable beneath his helm, "all because of you."

I furrowed my brow, unsure what to make of his panicked tone and started to get to my feet, sensing something wrong, I reached for my sword.

The stormtrooper tore off his helmet revealing plain, ruddy features and short messy blonde hair stood up and abruptly approached, his heavy boots clanging across the metal floor.

Then he suddenly fell into a kneel.

"Surely you are blessed," he said. "Surely you are an avatar of the Emperor's will! To be able to move so fast and survive those bolt rounds, you truly must be. The God-Emperor must have sent you to protect us!"

I took a step back, utterly bewildered and Torris burst out in a bitter barking laugh, followed immediately by a horrid groan of pain.

"I'm not, I'm not," I stammered.

"Yes you must be!" he said on. "In the scholam, they taught us of the saints, ones said to be an embodiment of the God-Emperor himself, they taught us they fought with inhuman strength, speed; Iand endurance. Just the same as you."

I laughed nervously and realised everyone's attention was on me. Arlathan looked on with an amused smile. Adelana's expression was that of deep confusion, but I could see a bit of understanding glinting in her bright blue eyes, she too must've been wondering how I was able to do what I did and she must've thought his explanation made sense, the old woman had a very similar look. My heart sunk at such a thought.

Verenth's brow furrowed, and his arms folded over his chest as if the mere thought I could be the chosen of the Emperor made him want to break something, probably me.

Vex was sitting, arms wrapped around his knees, looking up at me through his glasses, his expression unreadable and yet again I was reminded how frigging young he was.

Torris seemed amused like Arlathan, but sarcastically, as though he knew that I was so far from being chosen by the Emperor the Stormtrooper couldn't have been any more mistaken.

And I wholeheartedly agreed with him.

"I'm not!" I snapped managing to regain my wits. "Get the frig up, now!"

"But..!"

"Get the frig up!" I yelled, anger abruptly overtaking me. "I don't even think the Emperor is even a god! I Haven't even been to an ecclesiarchy service for years! I'm the least pious person you could ever meet! You're so frigging mistaken it isn't funny! Now get the hell up!"

Again, the stormtrooper hesitated.

"Now!" I roared.

He slowly got to his feet, glaring at me balefully and almost nose to nose, "so, what are you then, huh?" he snarled through his teeth.

I said nothing, just glared back, a glare that said, 'someone who can kill you before you can blink, so shut up and back down.'

The stormtrooper did, spitting on the floor before retreating into a corner, his face foul.

I held back a sigh and turned away, trying to look discretely sidelong at Adelana, to see how she'd reacted to that. She watched me walk by, gaping up at me in what could've been awe or fear in equal measure.

The elevator then abruptly found the floor, shaking to a halt, before the doors slid swiftly open.

I was the first to step into that familiar white, brightly lit corridor, the cells lining the sides of the walls and couldn't help but blanch as I realised the others were going to see the corpses still in them.

Vex who was helping Halsin was the next out; then it was the stormtrooper with Helma and Verenth aiding Jelket. Last were the bewildered Adelana and old woman, pushing Karmen's bed I meant to ask what the woman's name was, but felt would've seemed rude.

I allowed the others to pass and fell in step with Adelana.

"I'm sorry, Adelana" I whispered to her. "I have no idea what you can make of all this."

She looked at me there tears were welling in her eyes, "I don't understand what's going on, Attelus," she hissed through clenched teeth. "Space Marines? Why are we here, why are they killing us? I heard you talking to yourself, or her," she nodded at Karmen as she laid lifeless on the bed. "You were saying something about this world dying soon and that you feel guilty about it, that at least when she dies she could escape her guilt, but you won't be able to, what did you mean by that? How were you able to hit the Marines gunshots with your sword and dodge them? If you aren't chosen by the Emperor, then how were you able to do all of that? The way you said it, it seemed you knew for a complete fact that you weren't and she's a psyker, how did she become part of this organisation? I...I...I."

She looked like she was going to have a panic attack and I reached out to comfort her, but abruptly drew it back as I thought better. I barely knew her, she barely knew me, I didn't know if it'd be appreciated.

"I'm sorry Adelana," I sighed and shook my head. "I will tell you everything soon, I swear I will, but I will say this. This is reality; this is the era we live in, there is only war, Adelana. There may not have been war on Omnartus, nor most worlds in the Calixis sector but it is always somewhere. It has found you; I'm sorry to say, as it had found me, as it has found countless upon of others. Trillions before us and more to come. I'm sorry, so, so sorry."

She looked at me, a sad almost sympathetic smile on her face, that seemed to say, 'what happened to you that made you like this? Whatever it was, I am sorry.'

I looked away, unable to stand her pity.

"What's the password?" growled the stormtrooper, he stood at the keypad, his eyes hooded sullenly and looking at me. Everyone else looked into the cells with wide-eyed horror."

I cleared my throat, "it's j-garrakson."

The stormtrooper raised an eyebrow, but that was that as he turned away and typed it in. The door swished open, and he flinched in slight fright.

"Vex!" I said, he was staring into the cell that contained Interrogator Heartsa's corpse. He instantly snapped from his stupor and looked at me.

"What?" he asked dumbly.

"Get onto Taryst's cogitator," I said, even though I knew he knew what we expected of him. "Hack it and get all the data you can."

Vex nodded, and we filed into the small room. Jelket was placed on the bed along with the Halsin and Helma, while the rest of us milled around the room. I fought the urge to join them and my eyelids from closing.

Vex pulled out a miniature cogitator from a bag slung under his shoulder, pulled out a cord and connected it into the giant black table and began to type into it loudly.

I leaned my back against the wall and began to take out my ceramic case of Lhos. Then I caught Adelana looking at me again from the other side of the room, still with that damnable smile and she didn't look away when I looked back.

I wanted to tell her to keep her pity to herself but felt it was more than I deserved from someone like her. But the more I saw, the more it didn't seem like pity; it was something else, something I couldn't place my finger on.

Before I could think more on it, Darrance walked up to me, "we have better take a look at that ship. You know where it is, there might be medicae facilities on it."

I nodded, pushed myself off the wall and walked for that small door. It slid open, and we began down the corridor lined with shelves holding many plasteek supply boxes.

"Attelus Xanthis Kaltos," said Darrance and it made me stop in my tracks and turn back.

"What did you just call me?" I said.

Darrance, shrugged, "your name, or has it been so long since you have heard it, that you have forgotten it?"

"Is that your idea of a joke?" I asked with genuine bemusement.

He shook his head, "you really don't know anything about me, do you?"

"No I don't," I said with an uncaring shrug and folding my arms across my chest.

"Just like I don't know how you became what you are now," he said. "But I do know that it all happened after that psyker had visited your medicae room. It seemed strange to me why Glaitis had made them keep you on life support for so long after the Twilight Bar incident, and now I know why. You were going to be her new little super assassin, that you were made, no. Engineered to be the one to finally kill your father. What did that psyker do to you, exactly? I saw frigging bolter rounds bounce off you. It has scared the others, but you know that already, right?"

"Yeah I know," I sighed and turned to start. "It's even more complicated than that, believe me."

"You just have to be careful," he said. "If an Inquisitor besides Brutis Bones sees that, they might have you captured and on an operating table before even you can blink, okay?"

"Good to know you care, Darrance!" I said with a slight wave of my hand still walking and keeping my back to him. "I'll keep that in mind."

"You bloody well better!" he snapped at my back.

The small door slid open, and I stepped into the hanger. The massive ship loomed over me and dominated the place. Weapons bristled all over it; there was a Lascannon on each wing, three high yield heavy bolter turrets, one on top, one on the bottom and one on the back. Lastly was a Plasma cannon set underneath the nose.

It was streamlined and smooth, made for speed as well as comfort, thirty metres long and a good sixteen wide, excluding the wings which were both about half the length of the body. I couldn't identify what design it was or make; I didn't have much knowledge in such subjects. But I could tell it would easily transport us all no problem.

I just hoped it was warp travel capable, Glaitis' ship in orbit had warp drives, a Geller field all of it, assuming it was even still there, with the vox down there was no way to know.

The door swished open behind me, and I heard Darrance let out a long whistle.

"Nice," he said, and I looked over my shoulder at him.

"What's nice?" I asked.

"Why the ship of course," he said. "A Salvani class VIII Guncutter, I can see Taryst spared no expense and had a good taste while at it."

"A Guncutter?" I said. "So, not warp capable?"

Darrance snorted and shook his head with an amused smile then approached the ship, rubbing his hand on it's sheened metal surface.

"A ship this size isn't even slightly large enough to house a warp drive let alone a Geller field, too," he said. "You show your ignorance spectacularly."

I pursed my lips and shrugged, feeling he was merely stating a fact rather than trying to insult me.

"We all can't know everything about everything," I said.

It was Darrance's turn to shrug, but he said nothing, so enraptured by the Guncutter.

"It'll have an internal medicae capability, right?" I said. "If this ship is so frigging super special awesome and all."

"Yeah," he said while beginning to walk around the ship, gaping in awe.

I had no idea that Darrance was so into ships, he would've been the last person I could've imagined being interested in such a subject.

"I would even say the medicae facility would even be automated," he said, after a long pause. "I would suggest you get the psyker and the other injured here."

"She has a name, you know," I said.

"I'm sure she does," he said almost wistfully, still keeping his back to me, still sliding his hand across the Guncutter.

"Fine," I said. "Be that way, then."

I turned to walk away when the door suddenly slid open, and Adelana stepped into the hanger.

"Oh, hi!" I said and felt a smile unintentionally crossing my face.

She smiled back, but it didn't reach her eyes, "Vex sent me, he's managed to get into the cogitator's vox system. We've received a communique, and she wants to talk to you."

I nodded, she looked very visibly scared all of a sudden.

"Yes," she said, shivering despite the warmth in here. "She said...She said that she was an Inquisitor."

Adelana, Darrance and I emerged back into the quarters.

Everyone who could still stand was crowded around the cogitator desk gazing down at the large display. It was now showing the image of the head and shoulders of; I woman wearing black, ornate power armour. Her skin was a dark, chocolate brown and her blue eyes incredibly piercing that suggested they were extremely advanced augmetics. Her long, thin white hair tied into a top knot.

I stepped into view of the display the others stepping aside to allow me in.

The woman's eyes narrowed as she saw me.

"You are Attelus Kaltos," she said, her voice boomed from the speaker, it was the confident voice of someone who was a leader, a true leader and who knew it but didn't revel in this knowledge. It was a statement, not a question.

I managed a nod, and she smiled, it was a sensual smile, but it wasn't pleasant at all. It was almost predatory.

"Yes," she said. "Wesley had told me much about you in his reports. I apologise, allow me to introduce myself. I am Inquisitor Jelcine Enandra of the Ordo Hereticus."

She held up a Rosette, briefly, casually as though such a thing didn't give her power and influence beyond measure.

"I have just arrived in the system," she said. "I have brought with me ten ships of the Calixis battlefleet and they are about to engage the Space Marines."

I involuntarily flinched as some of the others suddenly let out a cheer.

Their elation didn't last long as Enandra's expression darkened and said, "I doubt they will last long, though, they are merely a distraction."

"A distraction?" said Arlathan. "A distraction for what?"

She sighed, "a distraction for your escape. My personal ship, the Audacious Edge is built for battle and stealth, and we have entered the system undetected. We are orbiting the blind spot of the local star. It is at great risk that I am talking to you now."

"How?" said Darrance. "How did you get this frequency?"

Her eyes narrowed again, but in bemusement, "Wesley gave it to me in one of his astropathic messages, he never told you that?"

"No," I said and wondered how the hell he got it in the first place, he seemed to have neglected to tell us a lot before his death.

+I gave it to him,+ said Karmen. +I gave him this frequency, I knew Taryst had a high powered vox situated down here, one capable of interplanetary communication. I felt that the reinforcements he sent for would need to know it, although I didn't believe it would amount to anything. Obviously, I was wrong.+

'Wesley also told us he never got any reply," I said. "Did you send anything back, mamzel?"

Enandra's eyes widened and straightened as if I'd asked the most stupid question in the verse.

"Yes, of course, I did," she said. "Where is he?"

"He's...He's dead," I answered hesitantly. "I'm sorry."

"Really?" she said but didn't seem at all upset by this, more surprised. "Always thought that old bastard was indestructible. Tell me later how and why he died, we don't have the time now. It's sad to hear; I was hoping he might be able to talk my former master down from this, rather disproportionate, retribution for Omnartus and it's people."

Adelana and the old woman looked at me then, looking very anxious all of a sudden.

"You two should get to the ship," Arlathan said to them. "Take Karmen with you, please."

They both nodded and hurriedly, they took Karmen's bed then left the room.

"Did I say something wrong?" said Inquisitor Enandra.

I hissed air through clenched teeth, "not everyone knows everything."

"Frig yeah we don't," said the Stormtrooper sullenly.

"What's happened to the System Defence Force ships?" said Arlathan.

"Already dead," stated Enandra. "Or to be more precise, destroyed. The Space Marines had lost none of theirs in the process, but a few were damaged. The Marine ships are all now in orbit, blockading the planet's air traffic and destroying the orbital platforms and soon, very soon they'll initiate the Exterminatus once the orbital battle is won."

"What about the surface to orbit defense turrets?" said Arlathan.

Enandra sighed again, "from what I understand, according to the PDF vox; he I have been monitoring, they seemed to have been...sabotaged."

"What?" said Arlathan his eyes wide with disbelief.

Then it hit me, "it might've been the Adeptus arbites!"

Enandra turned her head and said sceptically, "Adeptus arbites?"

I nodded and quickly relayed the events of their earlier ambush. It was rushed and abridged, and I withheld some details.

Enandra looked at me sidelong once I finished, her jaw clenched slightly. She could tell that I'd skipped some things but after a few seconds of pondering she eventually nodded.

"I see," she said. "After you had informed me of that, your theory does have some merit, that they are either under the influence of my former master, or Inquisitor Edracian but at this point, it matters little. Do you have a void capable ship?"

"Yeah," I said. "We also have a ship in orbit…"

"I don't care if you do!" Enandra interrupted me suddenly. "You are to go to my ship and none other! Any other ship is suicide at this point and besides."

She smiled but again it was that predatory and strangely sensual smile, "I would like to talk to all of you face to face, and I mean literally, so I can make sure you are…"

She paused and raised her eyes to whatever ceiling was over her, in mock, exaggerated imitation of someone struggling to find the right word to use.

"Proper," she said eventually.

"In all honesty, mamzel," I said, leaning close to the screen. "The way you said that, doesn't give us much incentive."

She laughed, and it was a genuine laugh, it was almost musical and couldn't help but like it, "yes I guess it wouldn't. I like you, boy. From what Wesley told me I knew I would like you, Attelus Xanthis Kaltos. Son of the infamous Serghar Kaltos, it seems you didn't inherit his anti-social qualities."

"You know my father?" I asked as I felt my face flush.

"No," she said, for the first time smiling genuinely. "I know of your father; there are very few within the Inquisition who do not."

"Of course there isn't," I sighed.

"Anyway, your ship has more than likely been destroyed anyway," she said, becoming sober and professional again.

"So, what happens now, mamzel Inquisitor?" said Verenth, his voice shaky.

"The Calixis battlefleet ships will be first engaging the Marine spacecraft in about half an hour," said Enandra. "They will be fully engaged another fifteen minutes after that, so I need for you to wait for that timeout then leave Omnartus. Fly for the local star and once you are ten thousand kilometres away send me a brief communique on this frequency. There I will give you the coordinates of the Audacious Edge. Then I will allow you to board and from then on wait it out until the Space Marines and my erstwhile master have left the system. Does that make any sense?"

"Wait, with respect mamzel Inquisitor," said Verenth and I couldn't help wince and hiss through clenched teeth. "Did you just say, 'wait it out until the Space Marines leave?'"

Enandra glared at him, her jaw twitching slightly, dangerously, "that isn't quite verbatim, but it's close. So, yes."

"Aren't we gonna do something?" he cried. "We can't just stand by and watch! They're gonna destroy my world!"

Enandra sighed, her eyes falling to the floor and for a second there was true despair on her attractive face.

"Yeah," she said as her gaze suddenly snapped back on us, a look of fiery determination on her face. "Yeah I do and if you don't want to there is another option. You have a weapon, you can use it on yourself, or I could do it for you. I'm sorry, I am. I wish it could've ended in another way, but it's too late. Just too late."

Verenth listened with wide, teary-eyed horror, his mouth gaping and I felt sorry for the Hammer.

"I must end this communique," said Inquisitor Enandra. "I have almost gone over the safe time gap already. I am sorry, I wish all of you luck and hope to see you soon."

Then the screen abruptly went blank.

For a long time, we were silent. The only sound, the pained moans, and groans of the injured.

The first one to find his head was Arlathan, "alright!" he snapped. "We've got three-quarters of an hour to get things ready! Attelus, Darrance, Verenth, Vark! You four get the heavily injured into the ship."

"What are you doing?" said a voice and we turned to see Helma was groggily getting off the bed, she was smiling at us. "Brutis Bones put me in charge, didn't he?"

"You shouldn't be up, captain!" cried Vark but she waved him off.

"I have been unconscious and useless for much of what has happened," she said. "I'm sorry, now it's about time I will be of use."

Helma turned away and hauled up Jelket by his good arm, then placed it across her shoulders,

"I heard what the Inquisitor had said," said the captain. "She's right; we can't stop this. But if we escape with all we know we can make sure that Etuarq will never be able to do it again."

She started to the door, and I held out my hand to offer help, but she shook her head in decline.

As she passed, I once again saw the enormous black bruise on the side of her skull and fought the urge to flinch at the sight of it. I had no idea how she was awake let alone moving.

I reached down and hauled up Hayden; he was the heaviest of the injured so thought it fitting I was the one to carry him.

"Well!" I said. "You heard the mamzel! We've got work to do."

It took us a good ten minutes to take the injured into the ship. The interior was almost beautiful, comfortable and well made. Soft, red carpet with slight gold lining was on the floor the walls were cream, curling waves produced from thin lines of gold. The corridors were as thin as any other ship its size but seemed slightly wider because of the decoration. Darrance was with, he seemed to know the ship's layout and showed us to the medicae area. We laid Hayden, Jelket on two of the four gurneys while Torris who was still conscious laid himself down. The two servitors which staffed it immediately began to treat their wounds. Darrance left for the cockpit claiming he needed to 'get to know the controls.' Or something.

In all honesty, I wasn't sure if I was at all comfortable with Darrance piloting, but kept this thought to myself.

I wandered off to explore; I found the lines of small personal quarters, near the medicae area, eight of them on the lowest level of the ship, all of them a good size and luxurious. Then the engine room at the other end.

I ascended the stairs into the large common room, kitchen and found both Adelana and the old woman were there. The old woman's torso was covered in bandages, and they sat in silence in the corner, on one of the large comfortable couches. Adelana seemed to be staring out into space, looking hunched and defeated, my black flak jacket laid crumpled on the floor at her feet. The old woman was asleep, her head hung forward, and her snoring reverberated through the room.

For a few seconds, I stood, looking at Adelana and admired yet again just how attractive the young redhead was. Quickly, I decided not to disturb them and turned to walk up the stairs I assumed led to the cockpit.

"What's going to happen, Attelus?" Adelana asked abruptly, making me stop in my tracks.

I turned back to her, but I had no idea what to say, what to do.

Then again she started to cry, "how?" she cried. "How could this happen?"

My attention fell to the floor.

"My world!" she yelled. "Is my world really going to die?"

All I could manage was a slight nod; I saw no reason to lie anymore.

"But why?" she whimpered. "Why?"

I didn't answer, couldn't answer.

"What's going to happen to my friends? My family? My mother, my father, my little brother and sister? Can't we save them?"

I only shuffled my feet.

She shuddered with tears and looked away.

"Why? Why did you save me?" she cried her face abruptly turning into a mask of anger. "Why have you brought me here?"

"I thought…"

"No! I bet you didn't think!" she snarled. "You never stopped to consider what I wanted. Was it because I was nice to you? Talked to you? Are you really that pathetic? You said that this was reality, this was the 41st millennium, that there is only war. What if I didn't want to know that? What if I wanted to live in ignorance? What if I wanted to die in ignorance?"

"It's not just that," I murmured, fighting back the tears starting to well in my own eyes.

"What?" Adelana snapped.

"It's not just that!" I cried, my hands curling into fists at my sides and just then Helma, Verenth and Vark walked into the room. "...It's not just that."

"What is it then?" she yelled.

"I'm...I'm not a good person, Adelana," I said. "I've killed a lot of people, and I'm going to continue killing a lot of people."

I pursed my lips and gave Helma, Verenth and Vark a glance.

"When I met you Adelana, when we talked, it lent me a new perspective," I paused. "No, sorry it renewed an old perspective. I'd just been through hell, but you, talking to you made what I'd went through, worth it because it assured me that there were good people out there worth fighting for and worth dying for. Even though this galaxy is a horrid, dark place and I've seen the worst of it, I believe that you deserve to live and…"

"So, you wanted to save me, just because it inspires you?" she interrupted, sounding horrified.

"N-no, that's not what I meant," I stammered. "I couldn't save Omnartus, hell I couldn't even save your friends! I...I."

I stopped and sighed, "no, no you're right, Adelana. I brought you here for selfish reasons, I never even considered how you would feel about. I was warned, but I didn't listen. I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry."

"Go away!" she screamed, and the abruptness made me flinch in fright. "Get away from me!"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't even talk to me!" she roared. "Leave me alone you selfish bastard! I hate you."

I recoiled at her fury, nodded then turned and started toward the exit. The others moved aside to let me past.

I paused at the peak of the stairs and looked over my shoulder at her, "I still intend on telling you the truth, Adelana," I said. "When the time is right, of course. I'll tell you everything I know, and once you know it, you will have a new purpose, a reason to live. You can hate me all you like, and I understand if you do, but please don't hate me. I was selfish and idiotic, without a shadow of a doubt, but that's because I'm only human. I'm a flawed, idiotic human. But hate, hate, Adelana is the worst emotion us humans possess. It has been the source of so many of our problems; it can be manipulated by those who know how. It can twist and contort and drive good people like you into becoming monsters. Monsters like me, like my master, like the man who has ordered the death of this world, like my father. So I ask you not to hate me, not because I don't want you to hate me, but for yourself, for your humanity and your sanity. I hope you can one day forgive me, Adelana. I truly hope you can, but I'd understand if you can't."

She continued to glare at me, her expression still set in anger, but I could see in her sea blue eyes, that she'd understood what I'd just said.

I turned and started down the stairs, ignoring the others as they watched me leave.

"I'm sorry," I said under my breath, finally letting the tears to flow down my face freely.

In sullen silence, I went to the medicae servitors and had one bandaged my arm then applied soothing salve to my ribs while I smoked my last Lhos as I winced and hissed with the pain.

+Attelus?+ Karmen said as I was in the midst of slipping my body glove back on.

"What do you want, Karmen?" I growled.

+I heard what you said to that Adelana girl.+

"Of course you did," I sighed.

+Now are you aware of what Glaitis tried to make you into?+

"Yes."

+Do you remember what I said to you in this bunker a day ago?+

"You said quite a few things back then," I said. "Elaborate."

+I said I was here to save from losing your sanity,+ she said. +Like I had back in the ruins of Varander seven years ago, do you remember that?+

"Yes I do," I said. "And I'll always appreciate what Estella Erith did for me back all those years ago, no matter how much she has changed. I needed you back then when I was a stupid teenager…"

+But you don't need that now,+ she finished. +I don't know how you managed to keep your sanity after all you've been through in the last few months.+

I laughed suddenly, bitterly, "how do you know I'm still even sane, Karmen? What does that even mean? Is there some indelible line between sanity and insanity? Torris had said that I suffered from something called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. That doesn't sound sane to me!"

She didn't reply.

"No, I think you need me more than I need you," I said. "The woman that was once so caring and kind is now a woman who can callously control and have thousands of people slaughtered..."

I paused and sighed, "the woman I'd once loved, now I know she is capable of such acts."

+I...I won't try to justify what I've done, Attelus+ she said, her voice breaking with utter sadness. +I'll just say I did what I believed I had to, that none of us would be here right now if I didn't do it. But you are right it is morally wrong.+

Yet again I sighed and remembered the saying, 'anything and everything to win,' Karmen had adhered to it too it's most logical extreme. She was the embodiment of pragmatism; she was far stronger than I could ever claim to be. Karmen showed the dark side of that philosophy, the philosophy I've always tried to live to, I hoped that I wouldn't wind up that way.

But was sacrificing all those men worth it? Just to save the few of us? Just because of the meagre knowledge we know. In all honesty, I wasn't sure.

Inquisitor Enandra also adhered to that, sacrificing all those ships, all those Navy personnel, so that we could escape the fate of Omnartus. A fate we had a hand in causing. I should've felt privileged I suppose, but it made me feel sick more than anything else.

+Do you hate me?+ she said, interrupting my train of thought. +Do you hate me, Attelus Kaltos?+

"No," I said without a second's hesitation. "Do you think I'd hate you after what I'd told Adelana? That'd make me the biggest hypocrite in the millennia-long history of hypocrites. So no I don't, I won't."

She sighed with palpable relief.

+But you don't love me anymore?+

"No," I said, it was a lie, but it was one of those few lies that needed to be told. "I can't, I'm sorry."

Her reply was silence.

I left the Guncutter and walked back to Taryst's quarters. Only Arlathan and Vex were still there, and both glanced up at me as I entered. Vex was knelt in front of his portable cogitator his fingers a blur as they worked over the keyboard while Arlathan stood over him, leaning forward to watch Vex work. I was surprised the temperamental little teenager would put up with that.

"How goes it?" I asked, trying to attempt to hide my severe depression under a mask of fake cheer.

"As good as it can go with such a short time limit," said Vex sullenly. "I have managed to hack in, and I am uploading as much data as I can into my cogitator, but it's all frigging encrypted. It's an encryption code I've never seen before. I'm hoping that I can find something, anything I can use to decrypt it."

I sighed and scratched the back of my head, "I know that the sniper, Hayden Tresch is also pretty good with cogitators. He'd hacked into the Adeptus Arbites data stream a few months ago; he'd have been able to help you if he wasn't fighting for his life right now."

Vex shrugged, "I wouldn't want his help anyway, I am Vex Carpompter. Vex Carpompter doesn't need any help."

"Don't be stupid," I said, folding my arms across my chest. "Everyone needs help from time to time. You needed help from sergeant Garrakson so you could effectively punch me in the face. I've needed help on numerous occasions to survive many of my battles."

Vex shot me a withering glare, "that is all to do with physical violence. When Vex Carpompter works with data, Vex Carpompter does not need help!"

I shared a bemused look with Arlathan who smiled and said, "Vex Carpompter better stop referring to himself in the third person. It makes Vex Carpompter sound like a complete arsehole."

Vex let out an animalistic growl. "Okie frigging dokie!" he snarled through gritted teeth. "Just shut up and let me concentrate, okay?"

I smiled and shook my head; if I was even half as skilled in something at the same age as Vex. I'd have been almost as arrogant as him.

On second thought, perhaps not, I could've been classed as a master swordsman at seventeen. I guessed the difference between him and me would've been that I didn't know I was as good as I was. Vex knew he was, his skills were in huge demand, in fact, he'd probably earned more thrones in his short life than I would in decades. Also, I'd never intended to use my martial arts and fighting abilities besides being a mere hobby.

I was just another killer, an effective one but still only one among billions upon billions of others. Now Vex, he was one of the very few who held such skill outside the Adeptus Mechanicus, and I couldn't help but wonder, how he'd gained such knowledge, especially at such a young age.

We acquiesced his request, Arlathan and I wandered the room in silence as we waited for Vex to finish his work.

I kept glancing at my wrist chron, seeing the remaining fifteen minutes quickly whittle away. Every once in a while Vex would announce some set back with another animal roar of frustrated rage, and he hit the floor with his fists.

It wasn't until one minute remained when we heard something other than an utterance of anger from the young Hacker. It was a whoop of triumph.

"Got you, you son of a bitch!" he cried. "I've got you!"

"What did you get?" I asked as I approached.

"This!" exclaimed Vex, pointing at a line of code that looked like all the others to me. "This will allow me to decrypt the data! It's all binary, but binary made in numbers from another language! I see it's Cartharsian! A language from…"

"Yes, that's all well and good and all," interrupted Arlathan. "But how much data did you get, exactly?"

"As much as my miniature cogitator's memory core is able to hold," he said, the sullen tone returning. "Only about two hundred years worth, if I didn't have to leave my main cogitator behind…"

"Oh shut up!" snapped Arlathan. "We couldn't bring those with us even if we weren't running from Space Marines! Two hundred years will have to do, now come on! We've got to go!"

"But I still have to decrypt it!" Vex whined.

"Can you do that later?" I growled.

"Y-yeah."

"Well then do it later!"

Pouting his lips in anger, Vex abruptly tore out the cord and climbed to his feet.

Arlathan grabbed Vex by the arm as the hacker closed the cover of his portable cogitator and we moved quickly out the door. Most of the plasteek supply crates had been taken off the shelves, carried into the ship I assumed.

"So," said Vex as he tore his arm from Arlathan's grip. "What happens now?"

"Now," I said. "Now we're onto the hard part."

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