#and theres a lot of like. things abt myself adn teh way im conducting my life that i need to improve and one of them is cutting out fandom

[moved-19871997]

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#as much as im a creative person i tihink i need to stel=p back from fandom spaces bc this is the most overwhelmed and overworked ive been in #my entire life and thinking about creating things for fandom as a thing on my todo list just Isnt It #and ive had this same train of thoguht before like #is this the last tiem im gonna be a part of a fandom?? #and honestl yy probably not #mobies and shows and books will come out and ill get absuredly intp them #andd like. its literally been a month into mcyt and i can already tell i need to. step back only liveblog??? i think yeha #quite frankyl. its a waste of my time to?? do fandom things not bc im above it bc i find. a lot of enjoyment in it just creativly i have #other things i enjoy?? #adn ive been in fandom spaces for so gd long and ive spent so muc h of my life consumed w it #and looking at like. my fucking screentime or whatever #its a problem and not bc its a lot og time bc im using it as a distraction from other things i need to do #i enjouy fandom i think its fun however im in yr12 im doing 4 and a half alevels and im doing driving theory and im behind on all of it #an d i still need to learn js properly #and theres a lot of like. things abt myself adn teh way im conducting my life that i need to improve and one of them is cutting out fandom #i think. today made me rlly realise shit like #i went tp skeep at 5am i was woekn up at 7 i sltep iuntil 10 i was late for my lesson #and tehn i got overwhelmed w all the stiff i had to do so i didnt do it and tehn i went out to the shop to procrastinate smoe more #im behind to the point where i might need to drop some things and i dont want to drop any of my school work i still want to learn js i still #want to improve my gutiar i still want to do my driving tehory #fandom needs to go #i wonder if. i f i never really got into fanfic or tumblr when i was younger if i would be better off #i would have a healthieir sleeping schedual i wpuld be better at school/less distracted. but i wpouldn t have met certain people and i would #have been even lonlier when i was younger #i cant tell if this is teh best or worse ive been mentally and its rlly fucking with me #anyway. dnr