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alexiethymia · 1 year

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realization

summary: [Post-TYBW] Momo falls in love. It's messy business.

[read on ao3]

part 1

It happens on an ordinary day.

They’re in his office sharing amanatto from Isane-fuku –no, Isane-taichou now (she still feels echoes of sadness. It seems so unfair for someone so kind to just be gone, for Momo to still remain when the reason she – and many others – remains alive in the first place is no longer here, and yet -), the weather is pleasant, a mild breeze entering through the open window that she cannot help but feel at peace.

When before, Isane-san might have joined her, unfortunately, her new responsibilities keep her busy. Rangiku-san, for some reason, had escaped with a hearty wave and a cheeky wink that she still had trouble deciphering. It was fortunate that her captain hadn’t been there when she made her speedy exit (however knowing Rangiku-san, it had probably been intentional), so when Hitsugaya-kun returns to a room bereft of his vice-captain, and containing only a package of amanatto and a sheepish smile, he can only sigh in resignation.

He apologizes for doing work while she’s visiting, but this – him at his desk, eyes glued to his papers but keeping an ear out, and her, animated and gushing about the newest manga she’s been reading – is more than enough for Momo.

He hadn’t really understood, but Momo was nothing if not a voracious reader, so when Hirako-taichou had brought back picture books from the Living World called ‘manga’ from his friends, it was inevitable that she’d get hooked. She even managed to get Nanao-san to join in her latest reading obsession, not without a lot of nudging from Yadomaru-taichou. Still, not even Yadomaru-taichou could get either of them to try out the racier ones she preferred.

It is in the midst of her latest spiel on the ending of a manga she had been reading (‘-so moving, even when it seemed like she loved another, he was steadfast-’ eyebrows bunched together in confusion, ‘I thought this was a story about hanafuda’ ‘It’s karuta, Shiro-chan.’ His unimpressed look shows he still didn’t understand the difference.) that he suddenly interjects.

“So it’s the same as that manga,” it’s awkward in his mouth, but he says it anyway, and only with a slight grimace, “with the princess and her guardian?”

Here, Momo stops, stares. “Which one?”

He waves the hand holding his brush around in a lazy gesture, “The one where the princess was betrayed by her first love who kills her father, and she runs away with her guardian. You said she eventually falls in love with her guardian who’s loved her since childhood.”

Momo continues to stare. Hitsugaya-kun, misunderstanding her gaze, shifts his eyes away, “Did I get it wrong?”

Momo flails, waving her arms wildly, “No, no! You’re right, it’s just like that one. It’s just…” She bites her lip, hesitating on whether or not to continue. Hitsugaya-kun merely raises a brow, waiting.

Momo shakes her head. It’s silly. It’s just that, she talked about that one with him, months and months ago. This is the first time they’ve actually been alone since the invasion. Whenever she’d go off-tangent, he’d be nodding along absentmindedly as he scrutinized another report Rangiku-san left unfinished. She’d always assumed he wasn’t really interested and Momo didn’t begrudge him that since she knew with certainty that he’d give her his full attention if it was something truly important. It was just nice to spend time with him.

She’d actually forgotten about that particular story till he mentioned it. It had resonated with her, a story about admiration turning into poison. Reading that story made her feel like water was filling her lungs, and yet she still pushed through, just so she could see that girl of fire reignited.

“It’s actually not yet finished. We still don’t know what happens to the both of them from here on out…” she says quietly, in contrast to her earlier energy. Hitsugaya-kun only nods. Funny, she remembers that story made her feel like drowning, so why is it that now, as she looks into Hitsugaya-kun’s eyes, she feels like burning like that girl of fire? (It was a story that resonated with her.)

That particular interaction done, Momo expects Hitsugaya-kun to go back to his reports, expects it, wishes it even (if only so she no longer has to look into his eyes). Instead, not only does he continue looking at her, he surprises her by saying,

“Your hair has gotten longer.”

She brushes the ends of her hair self-consciously, “What are you talking about, Shiro-chan? No, it hasn’t. It’s still the same.”

“Yes, it has,” he drawls.

“No, it hasn’t.”

“Yes, it has.”

Momo pouts. This is silly. What they’re doing is silly, arguing about her hair of all things.

Momo is happy about where they’ve ended up after the invasion. Shiro-chan’s shoulders are lighter as if his captain’s cloak isn’t so heavy anymore. The lines on his face have lessened, and Momo couldn’t be more thankful. But just because she was happier that he smiled more didn’t mean she wasn’t entitled to feel disgruntled at the self-satisfied smirk on his face, no matter how slight it may be.

She was about to launch into another denial when he surprises her yet again.

Shiro-chan – Hitsugaya-kun reaches his arm across his desk toward her. He lets his fingertips kiss the ends of her short hair, and brushes a wayward strand away from her forehead, before retreating.

It is only then that Momo breathes out (she didn’t realize she’d been holding her breath in the first place).

“Be careful,” he says, voice sly, “You don’t want to burn your hair off accidentally – again – like that disastrous kido training session.”

It takes a while for her to place the event, but when she does, she really can’t help the full-blown pout. Oh, she’s worked herself up and crossed the threshold to righteous indignation (otherwise, she’ll have to examine everything else going on right now). “Honestly, Hitsugaya-kun! That only happened because you weren’t paying attention!” Actually no, she’d just been recruited into the Gotei, and Hitsugaya-kun right after her. She’d been so excited to train with him (to impress him if she was being honest) that things got out of hand and her hair got caught in a shakkaho spell.

(She can’t believe she forgot, but now that she remembers, what sparks vividly in her memories is the rapid transition of Hitsugaya-kun’s expression from feigned disinterest to heart-stopping panic.)

Graciously, Hitsugaya-kun doesn’t contradict her version of events, but he does catch her attention, “Hinamori,” just one word, her name, so firmly that she pauses (and holds her breath again) when he smiles (not a smirk or a grin, but a true-blown smile that she’s only ever glimpsed once-), “How many times do I have to tell you? It’s not ‘Hitsugaya-kun’, it’s ‘Hitsugaya-taichou’.”

Oh.

This isn’t Shiro-chan’s smile, because she’s hardly ever seen him smile when they were kids.

Oh.

It’s not that his cloak isn’t heavy anymore, it’s just that he’s grown into it, even if in truth he’s only grown a mere centimeter.

Oh.

This is what she’d felt back then when she’d first seen that smile, this disquiet and unease, and curious perfect blankness that she’d felt when she realized that her Shiro-chan had transformed into a captain. That same feeling that she was being left behind, but still, the awe that she could not help, as she gazed at him soaring in the heavens, her Shiro-chan (because no matter what he would always be her Shiro-chan) protecting them all. This same feeling she’d pushed aside, unconsciously, time and again, in order to avoid thinking about it, because otherwise everything would – change.

(Oh, she finally understands, Rangiku-san.)

It happens on an ordinary day. The light doesn’t hit him just right. He hasn’t grown any taller than her. They still haven’t finished the amanatto Isane-taichou carefully packed for them as a souvenir. That brilliant smile slowly fades away into a look of confusion, the more she sits there, gaping at him, “Hinamori?”

It is on a perfectly ordinary day that Momo realizes she’s in love with him.

Him.

Hitsugaya-taichou.

Hitsugaya-kun.

Shiro-chan.

“Hinamori…?” He asks again, this time worry coloring his voice. He reaches out a tentative hand, but Momo bolts upright. She consciously stills her arms against her sides, else she’ll instinctually try and cover her (burning, burning) face.

“Hi-Hitsugaya-taichou!” She stuttered! She has never stuttered in front of him. She feels conscious of everything - her too-loud voice, the ends of her hair brushing her shoulders, her fisted hands, her scarlet face. “I beg your leave. I forgot that I have to meet with Hirako-taichou right about…now. Yes, now! I have to go right at this moment. Bye!”

And before Hitsugaya can so much as grasp at her – to ask what on earth was wrong, he didn’t expect his oft-repeated reminder to garner such a reaction, it was habit by now, was she mad at him, did he do anything – she has already shunpoed away leaving behind only the scent of peach blossoms, and a confused captain in her wake.

“Momo! Where’s the fire? What’s got ya in so much of a hurry?” One thing that Shinji noticed about his lieutenant was how graceful she was. Even when she was only walking, she always seemed so light on her feet, as if dancing on flower petals. There is none of that grace, here, now, as she barrels head first into him.

“Taichou!” Her head shoots up, voice so panic-stricken that Shinji’s heart jolts. He places the back of his hand against her forehead. “Ya running a fever or somethin’? If you’re sick, you should head to the fourth. Don’t go runnin’ yourself ragged, I promise I’ll finish all the paperwork.”

She shakes her head lightly. “Never mind that,” Wait, what? Momo not reminding him about his paperwork? This must be serious. “Do you notice anything different about me, Hirako-taichou?”

“Besides you bein’ outta breath, ya mean?” Even if he had no idea whatsoever about what was going on with his lieutenant, Shinji still decided to indulge her. If anyone deserved a scheduled psychotic break, it was her. He grasped his chin in hand and scrutinized her. Ah, he knew what this was about. His face was introduced enough times to a straw sandal for him to not say the right thing this time around.

“Don't worry, you haven’t gotten fatter. Heck, I think you should eat more. You’re light as a bird.” There, Hiyori would have no excuse to kick his face in now.

“Thank you, sir,” she says, voice clipped, “But no, I mean do you think my hair has gotten longer?”

Shinji narrows his eyes and looks closer, huffs out, “Nah, it hasn’t changed a bit.”

Evidently, that had been the wrong thing to say. Flabbergasted, Shinji could only watch as his lieutenant buried her face into her hands to muffle a frustrated scream.

#hitsuhina #hinamori momo #hitsugaya toshiro #hirako shinji #bleach #fanfic #fic #hitsuhina fic #bleach fic #I firmly believe momo and nanao eventually start a manga circle with shinji and lisa #I always read fics about shiro-chan's unrequited love #but for some reason I always think that when momo realizes she's in love #with her oldest friend even #she would definitely be bad at dealing with her feelings #hitsugaya has had years to deal with his feelings #he's fine he's at peace #meanwhile momo is just a disaster waiting to happen #ramblings about bleach #ramblings about hitsuhina

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gerrysherry · 1 year

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Moon Knight/ Sandman crossover

Tw for unreality, mention of catatonia and trauma

1. Death

Death, removing her ankh and reaching towards Marc: Marc Spector and the others that reside with your skin, you have lived a turbulent life, sent many people my way, but it is your time. Come with me!

Khonshu, all but pushing her away: Unhand him, wielder of the Ankh, he is mine!

Marc, dazed but lucid: Sorry, Lady but I got unfinished business. I'm going with the pigeon. But when I'm older maybe I'll take you up on that offer

Death, who has seen these things before: Suit yourself.

Marc, pulling on the moon knight cloak from the Khonshu statue: Oh I will.

2. Dream

Lucien holding MK's hand before he reaches a crescent dart: Sir, this is a Morpheus you do not want to fight*. This a big misunderstanding, I'm sure.

Morpheus, who just got back to the dreaming two weeks ago: Yes, quite protector of those who travel by night. We have not met but all my sisters speak highly of you. That is no small feat. I think this is a case of yet another imposter taking my name and role as shaper.

Moon Knight: Yeah, I'll allow for that. Good thing, too. Be a shame if I had to kill Del's brother for killing my girlfriend's brother. That would be a mess.

Later

Lucien: Here's 'Moon Shards' an unfinished script co authored by Jake Lockley and Steven Grant. I believe these are friends of yours.

Moon Knight: Put that back! By the moon, DON'T READ IT! It's really bad.

Lucien: Believe me. I've read worse.

3. Desire

Marc, half his face banagaed, ordering his fourth pint: Barkeep, another! I ain't driving anyway

Desire, wearing it's iconic white suit: Can I help you?

Marc: Nah. Last time I made a deal with a supernatural entity in a white suit, my life went straight to hell

Desire, examining long white nails: Really? Because I have a job your selves might want....

Marc: Lady... I mean Sir, I mean Ma'am dammit. What makes me want a new job?

Desire, unoffended and amused: I can see it in your eyes, Marc. Also you might want to accept yourself before it drives you to meet my older sister.**

4. Delirium/Delight

Marc and Steven are kids, Steven has only been around for few years.

Steven, motioning to older red-headed girl in a black dress, gloves and boots,***: This is Delirium, but she goes by Del, she wanted to meet you.

Marc: My name Marcus but everyone calls me Marc, so I get it. But seriously who calls their kid Delirium?

Delirium: My mother named me Delight but then things happened and I changed.

Marc: OK then.

Delirium: Steven says I go see your room, yes?

Marc: Er, My dad might draw a line at older girls in my room and my mom could throw a fit.

Delirium: Can your parents see Steven?

Marc: Weirdly no

Delirium: Then they won't see me.

Marc: fair enough

Later:

Marc: I don't know where the fish picture came from. I didn't draw it. Nor did Steven. I'm an only child so....

Delirium: Sometimes fishes are fishes, sometimes they represent lost brothers, I would know, I lost two.

Marc: Yeah, you're creeping me out Del. Steven, do you think she's creepy? Steven?

[everything blurs]

Elias, shaking his son: Son, you've been in a catatonic trance for an hour. I know you've been for a lot, but don't scare us like that

* Morpheus is a minor Moon Knight villain, he killed Marlene's brother. In crossover story he replaces Doctor Destiny as the false Morpheus leading to one big misunderstanding

** Desire is seen by people to embody the gender they are attracted to, straight men and lesbians see a woman, gay men and straight women see a man, and bi/pan/m-spec people see a hot non-binary person and fumble over pronouns. Marc is a deep denial failure bisexual.

***this is the outfit Bill Sienkiewicz portrayed her in for her chapter of Endless Night. Sienkiewicz drew the original Moon Knight run so it's fate really

#the sandman #moon knight #moon knight 2022 #moon knight comics #bill sienkiewicz #death of the endless #desire of the endless #dream of the endless #delirium of the endless #marc spector #steven grant #elias spector #my writing #my fanfiction

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birdwatching-goesbothways · 2 years

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Never Say Never

Charleston_dancing

Summary:

Fix-it of that scene in S2 E4 "Strikeforce" where Jim comes to confront Oswald about the deaths of the politicians

(As always this is also available on AO3)

work text:

The door protests loudly as Jim unceremoniously shoves it open, creak reverberating through the oppressive silence of the dimly lit room.

Pale daylight filters through the partially covered glass panels of the windows, but barely enough to light up the room lying behind them.

The other light sources, some occult looking wax candles on candleholders, seem to be more useful at pointing out the darkness of the room than at illuminating it.

There’s a warm crackling coming from the fireplace, but he still shivers.

The cold that lingers in this room won’t be chased away that easily, not by a few pathetic little flames.

Thankfully the anger burning brightly inside of him is keeping him warm, even though it might be entwined with ice cold veins of worry.

There Oswald sits on his throne carved from dark wood, appearance uncharacteristically dishevelled, staring blankly at a fancy wine glass filled with clear liquid, and what seems to be a dissolving aspirin pill.

Jim really hopes the liquid is water.

“You killed Caulfield.”

It’s a statement, not a question.

Cobblepot doesn’t seem to be phased at all, acting like he hasn’t even noticed his presence.

His mind wanders back to the terrified woman, who had seen her boss get murdered right in front of her eyes.

She had been threatened to stay quiet, and yet she had told him, in secret, that the brutal stabbing had been done by a short man in fancy clothes, who had walked funny.

“We have a witness.”

He doesn’t make it sound like a threat. He’s not gloating either.

Merely another statement, voice carefully even.

Still no response. No sign of worry or guilt. No acknowledgment, but no denial either.

The only sound is the crackling of the fireplace, the silent sizzling of the dissolving pain killer, and the low rumbling of thunder in the distance.

Oswald is slumped in his chair, heavy head in his hand, looking dejected.

He takes a step around the sturdy wooden desk, getting closer.

He’s still being ignored, and that makes him angry.

Cobblepot could at least have the decency of denying it, of having a good alibi.

Perhaps he had even come here in the vain hope that it had all been a misunderstanding.

After all, what unfinished business could Penguin have had with these people? And why would he risk it all, even getting his own hands dirty?

Fuck, couldn’t he just have been happy with his literal criminal empire? Shouldn‘t it be enough?

“And the attempt on Galavan, was that you too?”

This time he lets some anger slip into his words, a hint of disgust.

Hoping to provoke a reaction, because surely anything is better than this cold silence.

A short moment in which their eyes meet is all he gets, before Oswald casts them back down, turning away.

“Not now.”

His voice is as calm as his expression, devoid of any feeling.

Dismissive.

So he continues on.

“And Hobbs?”

He’s talking himself into a rage, but he needs to know. Needs Oswald to- if not explain, at least say something.

“You sent Zsasz there?”

“It's complicated!” Cobblepot finally snaps, looking up from the desk, before adding a slightly softer and more defensive “okay?”

Maybe now they’re finally getting somewhere.

But he needs a better answer than this.

“What does it profit you to mess with the election?”

He didn’t mean for his voice to sound sad, but the undertone creeps in without his consent.

Oswald holds his gaze for a moment, before breaking away and turning his gaze towards the floor.

As a cop, Jim is used to having to read people quickly, to figure out exactly what’s going on even if they try to hide it.

One of his most valuable tools for achieving that has been proven time and time again to be body language.

That of Oswald is familiar by now. The way he likes to wave his hands around a lot, inadvertently steering the listeners focus away from his face and towards his fidgety long fingers.

Making him seem bigger, quick and clever.

The way he likes to cock his head to the side like a confused bird.

The way he likes to slip into the mask of the subservient little lackey whenever he is with someone who might be a threat to him, letting just enough real fear shine through to distract from the danger lurking beneath.

Or his newest persona , which lets more truth shine through still: that of the suave kingpin.

A clever mastermind, pulling the strings, controlling criminals and cops alike, like pieces of chess.

But his body language is all wrong today.

He isn’t looking suave at all, not imperious, nor arrogant.

He looks as if he wants to curl into himself.

As if he wants to disappear.

He yearns to reach out and comfort, to kneel down in front of him and wrap him in his arms, hold him close. Rub soothing circles on his backs and make him feel safe.

He wishes he could.

He wishes he wasn’t here because of multiple murder charges.

These people didn’t deserve to die, and Oswald isn’t clearing anything up.

“You have your own sordid empire to rule over.”

Oswald chuckles lightly, mask sliding back in place as easily as if it had never been askew.

“Walk away, Jim.”

His voice is calm, collected. Polite.

“Let me be.”

He can’t do that. Not when his captain is planning to start a crusade with their new force.

A crusade against “enemy number one”. Oswald Cobblepot, aka The Penguin.

If he is to be part of that, he at least needs to know what drove Oswald to make such a reckless, stupid move, that doesn’t seem to profit him at all.

He takes care to make his voice sound nonchalant, before calmly remarking:

“The GCPD has new leadership.”

His secret hopes that Oswald will understand it as the warning it is are squashed when all he gets is a petulant smile.

“No more deals, no more favors.”

He really needs to get through to Oswald about this, needs to make him understand the gravity of the situation.

He doubts it’s working, so he cranks it up another notch. The only way to get through to Oswald right now, seem to be aggressive accusations.

“If they find out you're behind these attacks, …we will come after you with every-”

He is interrupted by Cobblepot abruptly jumping up from his seat and slamming his fists on the table, face contorted in a grimace of anger and hurt.

”Rousing speech!”

The shout tears through the silence like a knife, making him flinch.

“Really! Goosebumps.”

The loudness and raw emotion in his voice has been replaced by cheer and confidence that is glaringly fake. But it can’t manage to mask the slight wobble in his voice, or the way his thin body is trembling.

“But you came here alone, Jim, with no warrant, no cuffs, no backup, and why?”

Oswalds voice is loud, confident, angry.

But even his anger sounds… off somehow. As if it, too, was merely a show.

Nonetheless, Jim doubts Oswald knows the reason he came here alone and without back up plan.

The odd sense of safety he has with Cobblepot.

That instinctive trust he has to work against consciously, that growing attraction he has been trying so hard to quell.

That damned longing, the ridiculous sappy fantasies played out in his mind at night.

Oswald doesn’t know about these things, can’t ever know.

“Because you would hate for your new captain to find out about how you gunned down Ogden Barker in cold blood.”

That’s a low blow, even for Oswald.

And it hurts.

Whatever he had expected, it hadn’t been this.

“Over a debt,” he adds, twisting the knife further.

He’s holding unblinking eye contact, observing his reaction closely.

He’s smiling widely too, showing way too many teeth for it to be anything but an open threat.

He laughs, loud and shrill, manic.

“A debt to me.”

Cobblepot’s face is still contorted in a cheap imitation of a wide cruel smile, but his eyes are devoid of any feelings.

“He was trying to kill me.”

He hadn’t wanted to do it, but he hadn’t been left a choice. Surely Oswald knows this?

“Where are your witnesses?“

It’s fascinating how he seems to find comfort in this mask, how he slips into it like a glove and hides behind it.

“And just that day before, I suppose you did not ask me to run Commissioner Loeb out of town, so that you could get your old job back? “

His words are sharp, and they cut deep, re-opening old wounds, bringing back the bitter taste of guilt, disgust and self-hatred.

Still, he cannot shake the feeling that while those words where certainly aimed to hurt, to subdue, they are wielded without passion.

The gangster isn’t gloating. He’s putting on a show of doing so.

He’s still staring at him, pale green eyes watching attentively for his next move.

But there’s no fire behind them, no acid. They just seem empty.

Only now does he notice the red rings around them. Had he been crying?

Is it his imagination, or does Oswald’s lower lip tremble slightly?

That realisation is like bucket of ice water on the flames of his anger, making it evaporate completely.

It makes him immediately abandon any ideas of reacting violently, of simply storming off.

It’s certainly not what they need right now.

He has a feeling that that’s what Oswald is really trying to do.

That all these threats and insults are nothing more than a diversionary tactic in order to get him to leave it alone.

But he doesn’t want this conflict rescheduled for some other time, doesn’t want to have it smouldering and hardening between them into something bitter that could end up hurting either or both of them.

Instead of falling into this trap, he decides to do try a different approach.

So he doesn’t try to hide his hurt at the insults they’ve traded, his confusion at Oswald’s sudden need to paint Gotham’s streets red with politicians blood.

His fear about what will become of them, of this city.

His expression does indeed seem to betray him, as he had suspected.

As the silence stretches, Oswald’s wide smile falters, apparent satisfaction at the power he wields over Jim short-lived.

He knows that he’s won, that much is clear.

But as the smile slowly fades in the silence that stretches between them, all Jim can see in those eyes is fear and pain.

He hadn’t realised how close they were standing.

But without words to distract, he abruptly becomes very aware of it.

“You okay?”

He takes in Oswald’s appearance a little more thoroughly now, but he doesn’t seem to have any obvious injuries.

He was drinking a painkiller though, so maybe he hit his head?

“Did you get hurt?”

That seems to do the trick, because Oswald completely deflates, falling back into his chair like his strings had been cut.

“I’m fine. No need for worry I assure you.”

“Yeah right, and I’m the president.”

He really doesn’t look good. His naturally pale face is white as a sheet and he seems terribly exhausted.

“Really Jim, please just leave.“

“And if I don’t?”

He pulls out one of the heavy chairs, before deciding that he’d like to keep the advantage his height gives him.

“What are you gonna do? Call the cops on me?”

He wants to help with whatever Oswald’s gotten himself into, really does. But the pain from the things that have just been said is still too fresh, so he adds

“Or maybe you’ll just stab me a few times, that’ll do the trick.”

The hurt that flashes across Oswald’s face almost makes him regret his words. Almost.

If he hadn’t seen the aftermath of that exact situation just today.

“Are you worried I might?”

Not really, if he’s honest. He trusts Oswald enough to believe that if he were to kill him, it at least wouldn’t be a spontaneous decision.

Oswald doesn’t need to know that though.

“Didn’t think you’d recklessly endanger everything you fought for either, but here we are.”

It’s not a slip up, nor a carelessly thrown out bunch of thoughtless words.

It’s a deliberate attempt to irritate, antagonise.

Because anger is easier than honesty.

Easier than being vulnerable.

But to lay himself wide open and trust Oswald not to use such vulnerability against him… no. That’s too much.

He needs to get past Oswald’s protective walls somehow.

So anger it will have to be, hurt and aggression.

“You like to think you’re different, that this city needs you. It doesn’t. You’re just another violent, egoistical thug.“

“Don’t, Jim. Not now. Not today.”

There’s a dangerous edge to Oswald’s voice now, all traces of softness gone.

He deliberately ignores the warning, sitting onto the table to look down on Oswald, knowing that doing so will irritate the man terribly.

“Oh? Too exhausted from all the cold blooded murder? It’s not easy being a fucking sociopath, huh?“

It almost feels like the word are cutting his throat as he forces them out.

He thought it’d be easier to insult Oswald like this.

The insulting itself wouldn’t be such a problem, couldn’t he see the hurt in Oswald’s eyes, a flash of surprise and pain before it’s gone under an increasingly furious scowl.

“I’m warning you James. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.”

That’s true, angering The Penguin isn’t very smart. But he finds that he likes Oswald even less if he’s dead.

A thing which he might very well be soon, if he keeps making bad decisions.

“These choices you’re making, they surprised me in the beginning. But I guess it makes sense. You’re just not meant to have this kind of power.”

Oswald is positively seething now, knuckles gripping the fabric of his pants having turned white.

“Were you seriously surprised when I chose Falcone over you? You just aren’t meant to be anything more than a little umbrella boy, I always knew that.”

That finally does it.

Like a viper (and certainly just as deadly) Oswald snaps forward, grabbing him roughly and hauling him off the table and onto the cold stone floor.

His head is smashed against the hard surface with quite a bit of force, making his teeth rattle.

Jeez.

As the moment of dizziness fades away, he notes the bite of a knife at his throat, as well as the Penguins angry face close above him.

“You are not a smart man Jim Gordon.”

“Probably not,” he grounds out despite the situation, ignoring the sharp tang of metal in his mouth.

“you see, Jim? That’s your problem, you haven’t the faintest idea just what I’m capable of.”

That’s not true. He’s heard stories, heard of a man so ruthless and false, so violent yet genius that he should never be crossed.

He hasn’t seen bodies - Oswald would never be careless enough to let them be found.

But he’s seen missing person reports, heard stories in hushed and terrified whispers.

So he knows how lucky he is that Oswald seems to consider him a friend, or at least a useful asset for some reason.

Not that now, with a knife quite close to his throat, would be a good moment to say that.

Better to let him talk.

“And you have no idea how nice, how understanding I’ve been until now. But I’m the boss now, the king of Gotham. And it’s time you paid me the due respect.”

Perhaps it’s a bit shameful, but if Oswald says it like that, while holding him down by his throat, basically lying on top of him, almost being close enough to taste his breath… it does make him want to “show his respect”.

Although quite probably in a different way than Oswald is imagining.

Focus!

“But at least I didn’t endanger everything I worked so hard for just to indulge my violent tendencies at random.”

“Shut up!” Oswald yells, pressing the blade down just enough to be uncomfortable, but not yet breaking the skin.

“You should be scared of me! You should be on your knees, begging for my mercy.”

Fuck, couldn’t he have used a different image to get his point across?

One without such explicit sexual undertones?

“Yet you continue to mock me.“

This is not going exactly as planned. If only he could think clearly, and wasn’t completely lost in the weight of Oswald holding him down, pressing him into the hard wooden surface of the table.

In the intoxicating green of those eyes, filled with intense, icy fire.

Another slight increase of pressure from the knife against his throat.

A deliberate reminder that he is currently completely at Cobblepot’s mercy.

“Tell me Jim. Are you scared now?”

Quite the opposite in fact.

Oh, he definitely should <em>not</em> be enjoying this as much as he does.

Should not be enjoying the cold edge of a knife at his throat, which is oh so vulnerable, all the while knowing deep in his soul that even in this frenzied state Oswald wouldn’t truly hurt him.

Perhaps couldn’t, even if he wanted.

He doesn’t intend to ever truly find out.

“Scared? Nah. Don’t get me wrong, I totally get that you could hurt me if you wanted to.. I just doubt you will.”

It doesn’t come out mocking. And if he is surprised by how soft and adoring his own voice sounds, then now is certainly not the moment to contemplate it.

This small truth is enough to visibly take the wind out of Oswald’s sails.

The flame of anger burns down, leaving sadness and despair.

“You really think this dreadful affair sounds like me? I fought for this, Jim! I lost so much! If Galavan didn’t have my mother, I’d never-“

The abrupt silence that follows as Oswald’s voice suddenly trails off tells Jim everything he needed to know.

“Knew it.”

“What?!”

“You may be a snitch and a criminal, but you’re not stupid.”

Realisation flits across Oswald’s face, eyes widening in shock.

“Now get that knife away if you’re not gonna cut me with it.”

The knife clatters to the ground immediately, as Oswald scrambles to help him up.

“I’m terribly sorry, I, I haven’t been myself these days, and I didn’t mean to-“

“ ‘S fine. Riled you up on purpose, so you’d tell me what happened.”

That’s when realisation sets in.

“Galavan?”

Silence.

“The guy who saved the Wayne kid? And is now running for mayor?”

“You really weren’t supposed to know that Jim, it puts you in danger.”

“But I thought he was one of the intended victims?”

He gets another glare, although this time it’s noticeably less cold.

“Did you really think that if I wanted someone dead, the attempt would fail?”

For the first time since Jim stormed in this evening, Oswald gives him a genuine smile, and although it is small and wobbly it’s all the more beautiful.

“Oh yeh of little faith.”

Then, with growing horror, he remembers the full sentence Oswald let accidentally slip out.

’If Galavan didn’t have my mother’

That sure explains it.

“Fuck, Os. We’re gonna get her back. I promise.”

He didn’t mean for the nickname to slip out. It just happened.

At least he is managing to keep his urge to hug Oswald, who looks very flabbergasted, in check.

“James Worthington Gordon. Did you honestly make me angry on purpose, just so I would open up about my problems? Don’t you have any idea how dangerous that is?!”

Is that worry in Oswald’s voice? Sure seems like it, if the frown on his face is any indication.

Cute.

“I did already admit not being a smart man, didn’t I?

“Don’t you ever do that again.

What if I’d lost control? Ever thought about that? What if I…“

The sentence trails off, apparently too awful to be spoken out loud.

“Nah. Don’t think so. Look how worried you-“

Before he can finish the sentence, he finds himself in a surprisingly crushing hug.

Refraining to admit that he can barely breathe, he tentatively lifts his arms to soothingly stroke Oswald’s back.

“I should probably let you know that I didn’t mean them. These things I said. Didn’t enjoy saying them either.”

It’s not an easy admission, not at all.

Not when Oswald is so close that he can probably hear his telltale heart beating quicker than it should.

“God, next time just ask me.”

“Would you have told me?”

The smaller man abruptly steps away, glaring up at him defiantly.

“Of course not! This puts you in danger. That’s why I was trying to get you to leave in the first place!”

“My new boss is starting a witch hunt against you for crimes you were forced to commit, and the man who forced you just might become mayor.

So no, unless you call your men to throw me out forcefully, I’m not leaving.”

Hearing this, the gangster deflates, falling back into his chair.

“You honestly want to help?”

Why else would he have come here?

“Yes.”

“Then you need to promise me you won’t just run into danger like you’re so fond of doing. We need to have a plan.”

“Cant wait to hear one of your notorious schemes.”

“Jim, I…. I need to know if you’re 100% on my side in this. I can’t risk my mothers safety, so please, if this is some game to you…“

He takes Oswald’s hand, who easily lets him. Giving it a reassuring squeeze, hoping to convey that he knows exactly what he’s doing, he answers “We’ll get her back.”

“How can you be so sure? And why have you suddenly decided I’m worth your help?”

“It’s called hope, ever heard of it? To answer your second question: mostly because I like to think I’m a decent person.”

“Mostly? That means there’s another reason too?”

Is he imagining it, or is Oswald staring at his lips?

Suddenly they feel very dry indeed, and as he wets them and watches Oswald nearly instantly swallow hard, his heart skips a beat.

So he had indeed been staring.

In time with that realisation, he is also hit with the intense urge to lean down and press a quick kiss to those lips, only to soothe that persisting frown that’s prominent even now.

He could pull away quickly. Pretend it never happened.

Even if it would probably cross the line they’d been avoiding, he figures if Oswald didn’t stab him for all the insults he’d thrown at him, he might not stab him for a kiss either.

The problem, aside from all the obvious ones, is that he’s afraid Oswald might misunderstand.

Might assume his offer of help comes with strings attached.

And he’s definitely not risking that.

Only as he notices Oswald’s puzzled expression, he realises that the man seems to have asked him something, and that he’s been quiet for too long, probably staring with all the pathetic longing of a lovesick teenager.

“Uhm, sorry. Might have zoned out for a bit. Can you repeat that?”

The self satisfied smirk Oswald gives him in response is a strong indicator that he isn’t fooling anyone.

“I was talking about the plan, but I think before we continue with that there’s something equally important.”

“What are you-“

That’s how far he gets before Oswald grabs his tie, pulling him downward to

where he is sitting.

Caught by surprise, he neglects to hold onto his balance, tumbling into his lap.

“Oh god I’m so sorry is your leg-“

Despite the compromising position, the kiss comes as a surprise.

“I- you- what?”

“It’s for good luck.”

His lips are tingling, his face is burning, and he is still sitting on Oswald’s lap.

So words are kind of a problem right now, as they so often are when he needs them the most.

So he tries to communicate all the things he can not say, by taking Oswald’s smaller hand into his and squeezing to show his support.

“Yes,” he rasps, “for good luck.”

Fuck, if they’re doing this, they’re doing this right.

The second kiss is less chaste, more hungry.

There’s no hesitation as he opens his mouth and Oswald slips his tongue inside, exploring.

Only for Oswald to suddenly freeze up, gently pushing him away.

“What’s wrong Os? Do- do you want to stop?”

“I taste blood, Jim. How much did I hurt you earlier?”

That’s why he’s stopping? Seriously?

“Come on, I get beat up at least twice a week. You barely even shoved me around a bit.”

“Still, I am terribly sorry James. You were only trying to help, I see that now.”

“Don’t be sorry, the approach relied heavily on you not realising that.”

There are arms pulling him closer, which he gladly welcomes.

“Are you quite sure you’re not hurt? Are you dizzy?”

“Nah. As I already told you: I’m fine.”

“Besides,” he adds with a cheeky grin, “it wasn’t all unpleasant, if you know what I mean.”

Noticing the hitch in Oswald’s breathing, he carries on.

“You wanted to see me on my knees, didn’t you? That’s what you said. Tell me, that scenario of yours, it sounds like you’ve imagined it often.”

The suggestive tone is not an accident at all.

Oswald’s reaction is most delicious.

“Do tell me. Would there be anything else I’d be doing? Would I be naked?”

He leans in closer, whispering into Oswald’s ear:

“Would I beg?”

“I don’t- I mean I didn’t-, I-, I-“

It’s very entertaining to see the great Penguin scramble to make excuses while also blushing furiously.

“Oh relax, I’m just teasing. I know we’ve got more important things to do right now.”

“Although..” he regards Oswald’s furious blush. “..Never say never.”

#Gobblepot #gobblepot fanfic #my writing

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sweetmastermind · 2 years

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PIXY - General Reading

Disclaimer: Take this with a grain of salt, energy constantly shifts. I'm not an expert and interpretations could not be the most correct, it's for entertainment purposes. Reading done 01/09.

General Energy (5p - queen wands - 3w rev. - the fool - 3s)

There are some hardships without the other girls, they are sad but understand the situation. They can't take a break, they are on the go and doing so many things at the same time. There is a lot of movement but some unfinished business, they cancel some schedules? With the fool card, they have ahead a new path they need to start.

Individual energies

Lola (5p rev. - the hermit - 2c rev. - 7p rev. - king c rev.)

She is keeping to herself a lot, a lot of isolation and reflective period for her, she is healing something from her past, something emotional. She is focusing a lot on her work.

Dia (page swords rev. - 8s rev. -the moon rev. - 6p rev.)

She is not at her best, she is stressed and has a lot in her head. This can cause some misunderstandings and a lack of communication in her relationships.

Su a (queen pentacles - 10c rev. - the hangman - 10p)

I think she has a motherly type of role in the group, she approaches things with sensitivity and understanding, but I feel like she is in a rocky situation, something had break the harmony (i suppose its for the change of lineup) and she is can of lost at the moment.

Da Jeong (death rev. - judgment - ace cups - 6w rev.)

She needs to let go of something, she is resisting change, she is overthinking the situation seeing it from every angle possible. Relationship-wise, everything is good. She needs to take care of her health a little more.

---------------------------

I know that they are not part of the group anymore but wanted to do a mini check-up on them.

Ella (8s - the chariot)

She is taking care of her problems, and she is working hard to achieve success.

Saet byeol (10c rev. - wheel of fortune)

She knows she make the right choice, she needs to prioritize herself, and she is on the right path to heal

---------------------------

Thank you for reading!

Tarot deck used: Marseille Tarot

#kpop tarot #pixy #pixy kpop #pixy dia #pixy sua #pixy lola #pixy dajeong #kpop readings

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libertyreads · 9 months

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Book Review #97 of 2023--

Fence: Disarmed by Sarah Rees Brennan. Rating: 3.25 stars.

Read from July 30th to August 1st.

I can’t believe I’m already finished with everything King’s Row and Fence had to give me. This wasn’t a series I was planning to read this year but the first comic swept me away and 5 comics, two novels later it’s all over. I will say, however, that this novel felt a little unnecessary. Where the last one left off there was a lot of unfinished business which led me to believe another novel was necessary. But my issue is that it felt like the actual cliffhangers from the previous book were solved in so few pages...once we finally got around to addressing those issues. A lot of the novel had Aiden and Harvard avoiding each other or having simple misunderstandings that could have been solved if they just talked to each other. Which is why this actually felt pretty unnecessary.

The storylines that really drew me in since the Aiden/Harvard one felt like such a mess were: 1) Seiji’s relationship with his father and 2) Bobby and Dante’s possible relationship? There was some groundwork laid there. But I feel like if we ARE getting another novel we’re going to have to focus on different boys at King’s Row. And maybe we see Seiji and Nicholas discover their feelings for each other? Because it is obvious they have feelings for each other. Or maybe it finally comes out about who Nicholas’s dad is and drama unfolds from there. As always, I love my fencing boys and I love the settings of this story. Realistically, I would read almost anything involving these boys.

I felt like this one had more of the Twee Cute sort of thing going for it which I didn’t love. It’s easy to read this one and ignore a lot of the silly writing style and the way the boys misconstrue what everyone is saying because they’re so focused on fencing. Which is possible. But in this one it was just too much for me. Nicholas is a 14 (15?) year old boy who has seen some shit because of his terrible upbringing so I really doubt he’s going to be confused when someone says a very obvious innuendo in front of him. Maybe Seiji just because he has been in such a protected space his entire time growing up. But Nicholas? No way.

#book review #book reviews #fence #disarmed #Sarah rees brennan #c.s. pacat #books read in 2023 #2023 reading challenge #goodreads challenge #goodreads #booklr #bookblr #bookstagram #bookish #books

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meanwhileinstasiville · 11 months

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Today, I would like to talk about videogames, and how people don’t remember not having the same gaming experience.

After we got the first Zelda at release time, we had a variety of different kinds of experiences *around the same house*. Whenever mom got stuck (she being what turned out to be the videogaming fanatic among us), she called my much older cousin who started playing before she had. We had telephones back then; two way communication without so much as conference call capacity. An important thing to note in the days of pulse dialing because misunderstandings are rife. “What level are you on?” “Three” (Because I had named my character Zelda, code for the second quest, because I figured I was the title character *of* the Legend Of Zelda). These conversations my mom had in earshot, while asking for “just a hint” from my cousin Billy, over the phone, didn’t help me much.

Mom made maps of dungeons.

My sister, with the best dexterity, had maxed items and rupees, and no idea how to go from there. (this is the era where kids jumped when pressing “A” during Mario games)

Dad had no interest, preferring duckhunt until clay shooting never became more difficult.

I found all the “hidden” caves, staircases, shops, etc, even the lost woods on my own (after *someone* deleted my game so I’d be playing regular Zelda), and started with level 5 (because second quest runs on the flute).

“Everybody knows” isn’t as such. Who found the power bracelet? *cricket chirps* And who figured out what to do with it after they found it? *more cricket chirps*

And the bottles from the old woman? *more cricket chirps*

As I’ve mentioned before, there was considerable overlap between the drug trade and development of videogames because of where they were developed.

People didn’t know where to go, what to do, or what in particular they were supposed to be doing at Zelda release time. Billy, as it turned out, had a lifetime Latino friend sort of living with them (and so he had a bunch of random information about a game he really had no business in knowing, though no one asked how he came by it).

People also had no basis for comparison for their specific gameplay experiences; most early games were single player. So you’d call your friends and “where are you in?” “did you beat it yet?” etc, not really knowing what universal experience is supposed to be with videogames.

So most people remember playing Zelda, but most if not all don’t remember making discoveries because very few people actually did that; Zelda trivia lit up the phone lines spreading like a disease.

And Zelda doesn’t make the *best* object lesson because most people eventually completed it, with or without the bracelet or the wand or whatever else.

There’s Final Fantasy, which a lot of people would not admit to not finishing. A lot of parties work until they don’t, and that’s as far as the game goes. Who found the caravan of Oxyale? *cricket chirps*.

Castlevania II was notorious for being unfinished by most of the player base. We were like that, in the 80s. “Your experiences are not universal” so goes a meme. Well, we eighties kids (and adults) sure thought they were.

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the-fallouts · 1 year

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unfinished drafts - first counseling

For counseling: (January 27, 2023)

Well I've been writing my feelings out. It was healthier than binge eating which might cost me to be more insecure with myself.

I started having anxiety attacks back in college when i would get drunk and make wrong decisions.

It was followed through situations last 2017-2018 causing me to be potential third parties in relationships. Months after my dad died.

The worst was last year around January to April when my mom lost her sanity after multiple visits to the doctors, tests and surgery causing lots of struggles to me and my sister. Like putting her temporarily in a private mental facility, then to the ICU for severe constipation then to her hometown far away from us. It led us to this decision because it was becoming a major factor in our lives that we couldn't handle. We only had limited sources as well and it was not good for our mental health. I sought counseling right after that, for panic attack but I never pursued the therapy.

On my birthday last March, I met my now ex boyfriend. And it somehow distracted me with my problems. I was entertaining two other guys as well through June. He is from Manila and we met through an event in work. I was supposed to be on leave that day, but we were chosen as hosts for this event. Then, the friendship bloomed right after that until it progressed into romantic feelings.

So we were in an LDR. It was my first ever official relationship. It was his seventh, he's also seven years older than me. We broke up last week. When we were still talking about our baggages, I said something about my family but I was not specific about it for the fear that he may be turned off

if he were to know this struggle with my mom. I was quite crying for a few days following his visit again to Davao last May because one way or another, he will have to know. But I was not yet ready to tell him not until I agreed to be officially his girlfriend. For the past months, I still had this doubt if I deserve this overwhelming support system and happiness.

My sister, his boyfriend and my ex said I deserve it. And when he knew, there I fully accepted it. And I was so grateful for him. Prior to meeting him while I was in this pit with my mom, my sister and I had this conversation about us losing our parents physically and mentally and how I was so afraid of having no one if chances I lost her too in the future. And she said, she was definitely sure someone would come and take care of me. A month after that, I met my ex. He came from the most unexpected time when I was not looking.

Back when we were dating, he told me about his past relationships and how he lost his great love due to her depression. And so then, I became very careful with how I project my anxieties into the conversations.

It was good for the first two months until he was on a business trip. We had a fight, the next few days he was out for some drinks and followed by the last day he said he went out and stopped responding if he got home to the hotel safe. I became paranoid and anxious.

It was later fixed to the misunderstanding that he just fell asleep, he was very sorry and I saw his sincerity through it. Two days after that, I flew to Manila again to see him. But after the third day or so, he got sick from fatigue. And the next day, when he was okay, we went on a roadtrip. Following that night before I return to Davao. I was kind of disappointed with the energy he was giving me.

We had high expectations for this meetup but when we got intimate, I started comparing it from our firsts and how it felt like he was merely into it.

When I came home days after, I addressed the issue and was crying to my friends how my high expectations were not met. I told him two nights after that it felt like he was not interested as before but we only had the serious discussion the very next day.

Before that, he said he just wanted some space saying he was tired from all the trips and work he has been. I was overthinking to the extent that there might be something wrong. But he said he was just tired and needed to cool off so I won't feel as if I didn't want to talk. We went through this discussion how he respects and gives me my alone time but when it's his turn, I question it.

I asked what if I needed your care, and he said something like "you're saying you are the one adjusting, but from what you're saying, don't you think this relationship is only about you?"

"Yung time na i spend relaxing after a hard day at work, binibigay ko na nga sayo. kulang pa din for you"

So it hurt, but I got to my senses that I was becoming unreasonable. I said sorry and acknowledged that I was becoming selfish, as what I said to him on our early days of dating na that was a red flag of mine. I think i'm selfish. I asked for a little reassurance to know he would make up for the time, but he said like "what reassurance? and what thing does he have to make up for?" I then managed my expectation. The sexting became less as well.

We made up anyway but after a few weeks, we started fighting again for how he said I was a dramatic person which I know I am but when it hit me, I was questioning if becoming vulnerable with him is still okay. Because i thought he would comfort me on my way through it but i only felt like he judges me.

Anyway, that was followed by his pop up in Unilab. I understood he was very busy as he needed to wake up very early. On a Wednesday, we video called but i could see how tired he was that he was not responding or talking. On a Thursday after reaching home, he went straight up to a meeting and he said he couldn't call anymore because he was going to go to sleep already.

But, I called even for a minute just to say good night. On a Friday, I woke up very early because i had a sudden gut feeling. I went through this girl's Instagram, the one he courted before me, I think the interval was only for a month or week. I am not sure.

I went to work and later I saw in his business' page account that he reposted a story from this girl's IG and so I concluded that they were together. My intuition was right.

I somehow panicked and had an anxiety attack there in the office with my other supervisor and admin comforting me. I responded late to his messages that night after and I decided to shut down. I went to the beach the next day and he was surprised but not mad. He gave me the time to enjoy but by the following days I told him I was tired and needed more sleep cause there were a few days I was anxious. He was curious about it but I didn't tell him not until after four days. He then cleared it up that he was going to tell me if I just answered his calls. Or he was going to tell me on that weekend where we would be catching up but I already decided not to answer. I said a concern like, "I am starting to question my decisions in this relationship." instead of comfort, he said something like, "okay the ball is in your hands, just tell me what you want. if that's how you've been feeling, then i am going to be honest with you, this relationship is not gonna last." Together with what happened with this girl, he said he had no choice on Thursday but to contact her for her services since no one was available to assist him.

He assured me it was purely business and right after that, they didn't talk anymore. But he said also that if he were to like someone else, he wouldn't do it behind my back. Instead he would tell me. So I was still confused because I was thinking that there was still a possibility that he would consider this thought of liking someone else. It was hard through the distance.

But I would have appreciated if he told me before or as soon as possible that they were working together out of respect. I understood that she may not be relevant anymore thus the dismissal of the discussion but it hurt that I had to know they were together from a different platform or person.

Throughout August and September, I was no longer demanding him too much of his energy because we were both very busy from the Coffee Expo last September. I was purely exhausted during those times that I was thinking of him having to feel this way before and now. And so I remembered all through the misunderstandings we had, that this was the fatigue he was talking about.

So when he visited last September for the event, I understood and didn't expect anything for us to be intimate. But we were anyway. Only that I was best to accept it when I had no expectations for it. We were both tired from all the schedules we had to follow through that going out, we barely talked.

He wasn't able to extend his stay because he had another event and so he said about having a next chance like me going there and him going here. I stated a fact that it was most often I that visits him. He got defensive and said like, he has no one to leave the business with because his partner is busy. So what was he supposed to do. I was shocked by this reaction because i didn't need for him to explain. But anyway, it got him to a bad mood that we just decided to end that conversation that night.

When he came home in Manila, he got Covid. I was kind of having this guilt because i was coughing for a month already, and before he left for the airport he teased me that he was starting to feel some discomfort in his throat and it could be because of me. When he was sick he was barely talking as well so I really felt sorry but he said probably he got it from the after party where I was not in. I was checking him up from time to time because I really felt bad about not being there to take care of him and that he was sick again. There was this conversation as well where he was not as engaged as I thought he would be. I slept through it but called him three hours later and said something like "ba't hindi ka nag message? ayusin mo yang communication mo. what am i supposed to reply with your "yeah"." It was weird because he just said sorry. The old him would either explain or talk it through.

The next day I ignored him until the evening. He called and we talked but not about the issue. Somehow I was okay already. We talked about it only after a day. And he was sarcastic about what kind of communication i wanted. and that if we were to live on the same roof, are minute by minute updates needed? or on video, do i want that whenever he eats, works or sleep, video is on. And I said something like no. I was not specific about what it was because i was hesitant to respond to his sarcasm, but for me it was to talk about our day and have meaningful conversations. I just said "kamustahin mo naman ako.. it's always kumain ka na ba, of course kakain ako." Later on I realized I was too controlling of this issue. I should have let him.

Anyway, i said something like where i was coming from, it's only because i couldnt do things for him nor touch him. Only the communication is what we have with this LDR. I asked questions like "akala ko ako ang pahinga mo. you say you've been talking to alot of people throughout the day, so when that's done, apparently, even talking to me is tiring. and i'm not an exception anymore"

To be honest when we're on a same event or place, I don't mind us texting morning and night. Cause I am assured to see him by the end of the day. or because we're together presently throughout the day.

But in long distance, I have become paranoid at times. And I slightly overthink when there is quite a shift in the energy.

I asked him the very next day if we were good after that fight. He said "we're good. I won't think about it anymore. whatever you said, i'll follow it na lang." And so, on October we didn't have any fights after our seemed monthly battles. He was so busy during the first week due to their major event in the guild and i was on field.

I even went through this dilemma while I was on a business trip when this guy I used to talk to the same time I was still getting to know my ex messaged me and made plans about driving around that night after work. I hate to admit it that i was tempted. I called my ex during those conversations to remind me what i have rather than what i dont have. He was so busy that he was unable to pay attention to what i was saying. He said sorry and told me he loved me twice and would make time for us again once all the preparations were done. And so I was faced with this decision if i should go or not, and I didn't. I told the guy I was already with someone else. But i still had this guilt that somehow i led him on when i could have just rejected the first time he offered. i guess i was not expecting he would follow through. I thought about it the next day, how there were what ifs. I felt so guilty but I was reminded by my friend about this 80/20 principle. I went back to my senses and even appreciated my ex partner more for how unfair that would be. Since he was ultimately busy during those first week that he was unable to reply right away or talk, I told him about what happened on my business trip only a week after.

He responded only okay to it and just asked me the name of the guy. And, that was it. We didn't discuss it any longer. The next day he went out for lunch with his business partner and said he would then proceed to his friends' reunion. I know a few of his friends cause apart from he mentions them, I stalk them. Yikes! But when he was still out for lunch I learned that they had a plus one. He was sitting next to this girl which I just then knew from a source that perhaps they were teased together. So i questioned my thoughts that perhaps, my ex also came to this point of courting her. like how we were also introduced.

From then, I had these intrusive thoughts that there are lots of things that he's not so open about until i ask him. When his best friend from Australia went home, he went on a vacation with them on short notice. I was kind of sad because i remember when we were making plans last June that he would visit me on August and he would book my tickets to Manila on October for the expo and meeting of his best friend, but that didn't happen. I was hesitant to ask him if our October plans were to still continue because I was so tired from all the disappointments. And if we were to talk about it again, we would only fight.

When he went on a vacation I was happy for him. But at the same time I thought about all those time where we would talk about having a beach vacation once more and he would always answer me with "i don't know. that's also my biggest question." since he is always the busiest between the both of us, running his business. but i was still happy for him for having the time for his hobbies and friends. it was just that i was kind of getting insecure with his time.

I wrote my first breakup draft when he booked that ticket to Palawan without me. i meant he asked if i wanted to come but i felt like he didn't really want me to, because it took him some time to ask. i cried that weekend and i was depressed, i was obsessed with his following list for weeks and checks how often he is online, i myself would not believe his updates until i saw pictures. and even when there was one, it somehow helped but i just kept thinking non stop. that weekend i cried and was heartbroken. he didn't know.

i remembered how this response could be because of my trauma with my parents. how i trusted them so much, but in the end they just disappointed me. they left me. i was very anxious that weekend. not until my ex came home to Manila. But through his stories, there were nights were he would fall asleep and not reply or said he was hanging out with a friend of his and they met these girls. but of course, he didn't entertain them. but even that, i question. my thoughts have somehow led me to mistrust him often. I recall this because there was this instance where i asked him if there was some point in our relationship that he lied to me. he said yes, but particularly he couldn't tell me what lies they were. he just said they were like white lies like mine. the week after that, he couldn't call me at night because his friends were meeting up or he says he would call but would not. there was this night also where he had dinner with his friends only to know two nights after that in that group, his ex was there.

i was not threatened because i knew she was already married. but i remembered how my ex forgets or dismisses information like this when i should've at least known. he only told me about it when i asked about that night, but if i weren't he would not bother to tell me as well. I choose to always give him the benefit of the doubt. But there are times where I lose battle with my intrusive thoughts and intuition. So instead of telling him how he's been lacking some time for the relationship and how he said he was going to make up for it after that event but didn't due to his vacation and dinner with friends, i just said like "sana makapag vc tayo soon, since bihira na lang tayo magka time together and i am leaving for korea next week." and he promised he would call me the very next day. only to the disappointment of calling me at a very late time, knowing i sleep early.

anyway, i waited because i missed him. so throughout that week, he would, but very late or after a game or episode he was watching. he would reply to my morning texts after lunch and when i thought he was busy, he still had some time to do his hobbies.

i understand it was his way to relax so i never stopped him. but in my case it felt like in our relationship, i was the only one thinking of more ways to bond or initiate movie nights. i admitted i got bored through the same conversations almost every day. i missed the part where we would talk through the phone until 3am and talk about all kinds of things. but when we were already together, we somehow stopped talking talking. it was mostly me. he would respond but the curiosity just died down.

Though we had this conversation about my our personalities. He was the mediator and i was the advocator?? One of my weaknesses was i am sensitive to criticism. He asked how i could conquer it. And, i somehow didn't know. I just said things are better said than done. And then proceeded to ask him if he had any concerns with me or this relationship, he was hesitant at first for the fear of hurting my feelings but he said something like i was phishing for the i love you's. like each time we say good night, i wait for him to say it first. or when i bid good bye, i don't say it much or i don't initiate. and i was surprised but i explained that i always wanted him to be the first to say it. at least it was the least thing he could do because for most of our activities together in which we could bond, it was often me who would initiate. I understood he was not the romantic type but I always believed that if the person truly likes you, he would make effort.

anyway, i fixed that and so every chance i get i say it first. Especially that i am always the one who first says good night and sleeps at night. but there was this one night tampuhan where he replied very late in the morning and didn't say it back. i was so frustrated because of my efforts on fixing his issue, and now he decides to forget it.

Anyway, jumping after my trip to Korea, i went straight after 24 hours to manila to be with him. I extended my trip so we could spend longer days in Baguio where he could meet with his friends. i didn't mind even when we straight up went to golf and i had to wait 5 hours. it was quality time. we had lunch with his parents also during my visit. i would recall even on the first night i flew in, it was our monthsary and it was the very first time we spent it together. But there were no plans, it was just any ordinary day.

Anyway, we had dinner and i remember so well that he was excited about going home so he could continue playing his game. and instead of asking him or being mad at him for choosing that rather than me, i smiled and said "oh may bagong game ka?" i managed my expectation once more because i had to finish some work also that night and i was tired from all the flying and lack of sleep. He rarely held my hand during our way home but i understood because he had just gotten a new tattoo on his arm and he didn't want it to be touched. Later even, that he was still recovering from his gout.

I know there was not gonna be any action. And so after i worked, i laid down on the bed and had fallen asleep when he approached me cause he just wanted to fix the pillows so he could have some space for later. Probably it was also to kiss me good night. So i thought it could be during that time, where we get intimate, and so we did but i probably read it wrong. I don't know if these are still my thoughts but when we got into it, he just pulled away and didn't want to be on the next. So I figured he doesn't want to do it anymore. Even where there is distance. He doesn't long for it. Or i just felt like he didn't want me anymore enough to find me sexually desired. Even on the next day and the last day.

I went home and I had this fear where we were going to get into another big fight. It usually happens every time we see each other and part ways. I have seen the patterns. We were planning to spend Christmas together, I was supposed to fly in early also so I could attend their office party. On the last week of November, he was on a business trip. We rarely talked but I kept going back to this memory where even he was up the mountains or very far away from home, he would constantly message me. On that business trip, i figured he was busy. So i didn't mind. But I missed him.

Also, during that week or before that, i teased him about us being together but doing things separately. gusto nya sa sofa natutulog kasi he binge watches shows until 3am or plays games. So i teased him how he doesn't want to sleep next to me, and he said like i was imagining things. And it was only because he didn't feel like sleeping yet. He said like if i felt sleepy, dapat antukin na din daw siya but it's not his case. And so i agreed but what i meant was our time to lay down and talk. and he said like our time, pwede naman mamaya. and it was not timing to what he prefers doing. cause for instance, he wants to watch a movie or play. and so i said "not to cause any argument but it sounds like i'm a disturbance to that time when apparently you could pause it for the meantime or do it later when i am not here. since ldr kami."

and so, he said like he prefers doing it naturally and at his own pacing. but deep down it didn't make any sense to me and i just felt like he doesn't value my presence anymore. and so he says, okay i'll do whatever you want.

When he came home, i know how exhausting it gets, the next day i randomly called in the morning and i didn't know if he appreciated it or not. Either way i went through my day and had my me time. Upon going home, i messaged him and there was this tone where i was being sweet but he somehow was indifferent to it. i know his ways of lambing are through pissing me off over the little things. i eventually adapted but i guess that evening i bursted. and i said something like, "your word are becoming insensitive that sometimes nakakasakit na. gusto ko lang naman maglambing. And i didn't understand really, cause we had the same terms of lambing before. Or it was always mutual. I am really sweet, i think.

And he was sorry and I bursted out more like how i felt the relationship is becoming one sided. like it looked to me that i was the only one who wants to see his face on call or says i miss you. i remember on the early days he would always or never forget a day saying he misses me. now, it was always me.

And there he dropped this bomb and turned the concern against me. he said "hindi ko alam pano ka napunta jan. all i was doing is make fun dun sa sinabi mo. you know i think i'm just trying to meet your expectations rather than make this relationship work." And i asked him why and i remember some of his words were like he's doing things na lang just to please me, he feels like yun na lang yung mission nya and communicating with me is like an item on his to do list.

I became so frustrated because i thought love or doing things for each other is joy but it became a chore for him. There i realized his love was not genuine anymore. It was out of a script.

And i was becoming more of a fool. And i argued how i couldn't believe he was making this argument all about me again. i felt like he was pointing how selfish i was becoming again. And i said like, i am always flying to you to want to see you. and it kept going. He said, he didn't ask for it so if the end isusumbat ko lng then i'm better off not doing it.

I said it was not my intention that he should be pleasing me. But i don't really get it. Isn't a relationship supposed to be like that? I mean, when he courted me, it was all about pursuing and trying to convince and make me happy. So why throw that into my face? Anyway i felt guilty because that's how i made him feel. And so i addressed na, "nung nililigawan mo pa lang ako, you promised all this stuff, your consistency, it's what i get and more if sinagot na kita. so bakit parang kasalanan ko na nag expect lang ako ng sobra, only in the end na isumbat mo saken yang mga efforts mo, kasi from your end it's only to please me."

I mean isn't that his choice as well? I really didn't force him to do things he doesn't want to do. and if so, that was not my intention to the point that he would become unhappy doing it already.

And he said like if “yung promise ko sayo is what pushed you to ask things from me, without considering my life and my work, then i'm sorry. It's my fault for promising and it's my fault this is not working out.”

So i felt more guilt but i went through my belief that he doesn't love me the way he used to and if half hearted na ung actions and love niya, then i don't want it.

He proceeded again with this statement na “you decide what you want to do with the relationship, i'll just follow your lead. if i do it my way, it doesn't work for you. and if i do it your way, even when i feel like i am already forced to doing it, it doesn't work and worst feeling mo sinusumbatan pa kita then i don't know san ako lulugar.”

It was really hard looking out for some options. I kept thinking on solutions so we could work this out. I had one in mind and he said like let's see if that works but i don't think that's an immediate fix to this solution. We still didn't decide to break up that day. The next day instead of breaking up with him, I talked to my roommate who's also in an LDR situation. She said i was still excited about this relationship while my ex looked now like he plateaud. And so, I had to set my expectations once more. That evening i wrote to him and said that we should compromise instead and meet halfway with our expectations.

I admitted again later that night that I was selfish sometimes and no matter what I wanted to work it out with him and with myself. But after that, we were still trying to fix the now rocky relationship. Two weeks after that I booked a ticket without him knowing but failed to tell him, for the intention of surprising him.

But I got anxious as the days went because it was a very busy season and his house was very far from the airport. It would be my first time to commute on the way home. And so four days before my flight, I asked him if he still wanted me to come.

Compared to his past responses, he just said that the decision was up to me. Like he was not interested at all anymore. And he has a busy week. So, i asked him again if ideally he still wanted to spend Christmas together cause that was our plan. To be together on his birthday.

The question was answerable by yes or no. But again his answers were, okay lng if hindi muna and okay lng if oo. So I decided to cancel the flight the very next day due to his hesitation.

And, I asked him if he wanted an out in the relationship given our current circumstances, he was not happy anymore. But still, he said he was hoping we would be okay. Unsure of when.

I figured probably he was just afraid of breaking up with me. Cause he said he still loves me and likes me. It's just that the situation we were having was too difficult for us. And it caused me to be more anxious. Later he said and explained how demanding his work gets and how he didn't really force me to be in this relationship. If this was not what i wanted anymore, he would respect it. He said if i'm causing you a lot of pain and anxiety, it's better that we move our separate ways. And that upon his observation, I have become dependent to the relationship. I was worrying more about him and how he is in a relationship. Which I confirmed to be somehow true. And i realized probably yes, because it was only the thing I have.

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sneverussape · 3 years

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at some point near the end, snape found the mirror of erised again and hazarded a look. his father was the last person he had expected to see.

#tobias snape #my man has daddy issues #i think near the end he’d have been so scared #that he regressed a lot into safer waters #maybe when he and his dad still got along #(i hc tobias as someone who was actually close to severus until he started manifesting his magic)#and he was desperate to know that if he died that he wouldn’t be alone #or maybe he was just wanting a hug #valid either way #snape #my art #hp #:’)#snape is smol compared to tobias because i see toby as a giant in a lot of ways #not just literally but because of his influence in snape’s life #i think tobias was one of sev’s more haunting ghosts apart from lily #and they had a lot of misunderstandings and unfinished business

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orieriee · 2 years

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One Piece High school AU part 1

Author's note: Remember this? I was going to make this a series but considering how busy I am irl because of my studies and all, I decided to drop this, I'm so sorry guys ಥ_ಥ I also kinda lost interest in the plot since it's kinda boring in my opinion when I re-read the episodes I have written, it's kinda long since I intended it to be a slow burn for Law, you and Ace. And I don't have the time to upload and I don't like my work to hang "unfinished". And so again I am sorry for dropping this series but I'll provide a plot summary on what happened in this series. Enjoy!

Masterlist

So what happened between you, Ace, and Law?

Oh here's the relationship between the characters if you haven't seen it yet (tap the underlined words)

Summary! Y/N was invited to join a national science competition and will be grouped up with the top student guy, Trafalgar Law and the first-year student, Tony Tony Chopper. They'll work together as a team for 6 months to make a research and win the competition. On the other hand, Ace, who has been best friends with Y/N since middle school, is slowly realizing his feelings towards a Y/N. How will the scene play out? Is Y/N going to fall for either of them?

Disclaimer! I do not own any of the characters except for a few that I'll be introducing later. All of the One Piece characters belong to Eiichiro Oda as the creator of One Piece. I only own the story plot/headcanons of this work of fiction.

Modern plot, highschool AU, headcanon type, it should be gn! reader but if I made a mistake by using she/her pronouns during the story, forgive me ಥ_ಥCharacters' ages are different from the original to fit the story.

Written and published by orieriee on tumblr. Please do not copy or repost in any other platform.

Ok so first of all, I'm going to divide this into sections and I might make a part 2 if I feel like this is too long

I'll explain the plot based on the timeline

I feel like I should start with Law, since you and him sort of have something going on before all of this

Before the competition, you and Law sort of know each other as the "person who often comes to the library to study"

You guys sort of see each other like "oh, this person goes to the library a lot, I've seen them dozens of time"

You guys usually sit close to each other in the library not on purpose but naturally

But you guys never talked to each other, just quietly observing

As for Ace, well he's been friends with you since middle school but he never really saw you as someone more than friends

You're just like his sibling to him and there was no physical attraction whatsoever

At least that was what he thought everytime he's with you

It stays that way until someone teased him about you and him being together that he starts to be aware of his feelings

So for the competition, it's a team competition and your team consists of Law and Chopper

At this point, there was a one-sided misunderstanding between you and Law

I should tell you now that your (adopted) brother, Lycus, likes to pick you up from school

And one time, after you guys had your briefing with Marco and were about to go home, Lycus was waiting outside of school, in a motorcycle (he gives me hot brother sort of vibes, and remember that adult Hitsugaya Toshiro is casted as Lycus)

You walked ahead and Lycus patted your head before giving you a helmet

So Law, who didn't know you two were siblings, thought you were dating

It's not until Shachi pointed it out that you are the sibling of the infamous nobel prize winner who came from our school, Lycus

You and Law haven't developed into crushes yet, just tiny attraction since you guys will see each other a lot

Meanwhile, Ace's feelings started to bubble up from that one time you gave him a clip

You saw his hair was growing a bit longer up front and you gave him a clip to clip his hair up so it doesn't get into his face

Ace didn't know how to use a clip so you did it for him

Somehow, letting you ruffling his hair and clipping it on place made his heart flutter for some reason

It's because it feels like being patted on the head

Going back to Law, one weekend, you went to the bookstore to check out some books that you like

One of them was the new germa 66 series that just came out

Guess who you met

Law (of course 🙄)

Who was reading the sypnosis of the germa 66 series

It's not you who met him but rather he met you

He didn't realize that you were crouching next to him when he grabbed the series of germa

When you stood up, that's when he realized but he was already holding the germa 66 book

He didn't want you to find that he's a nerd about germa at first, telling you that he was buying this for his... Cousin and all but you told him that it's ok to like things like this, since you also like it

But keep it a secret tho. You wouldn't want the people of your school to find out that the 2 top students are weebs of germa

Since then, you two become secret germa geeking buddies

Ace was complaining about how you don't get to spend time with them as much as you did in the past

Sabo had to convince Ace over and over that you're doing an important project so it can't be helped

Ace still sulks tho

Now here's the thing, you're the "mom" of the group and you take care of Ace like a literal child

You like to give him "motherly" affection such as reminding him to eat, to do homework, wrapping up his scarf for him, tying his necktie for yearbook photos, waking him up when class ends, etc. (I mean, who doesn't fall for you doing things like that to other people😩💓) (Ace doesn't take you for granted tho, he's just a big baby that needs care)

So when you're suddenly gone to do the research, he feels like something is missing from his routine

He can say that he's missing you

But for him, he still thinks he misses you like he misses a family, not as a crush

He can be very oblivious to himself sometimes

And there's the quite boring part where your team is stressing out about the research but it's very long and the relationship didn't quite develop here, it's just about how your team solve the problem together and how you guys spend the time together, the friendship, the moments with team members and the mentor, etc.

There are some cute interactions with Law in the process but I didn't focus on the relationship of you two at this part

But you two definitely grow closer because of the constant meeting and hanging out together

Like that one time you invited him to a meet and greet with the germa 66 author because you didn't have friends to go with

Or when you two met at the bookstore to grab a copy of the new germa 66 magazine and went to the book café to hangout while reading germa 66

And the so-called "dates" goes on and this time you're slowly crushing on Law, without knowing that your friend is slowly crushing on you

Ace.

He won't admit it yet that he has romantic feelings for you because you're "like a sibling" to him

And it's getting more obvious whenever he sees you with Law, like, this man gets jealous and you can see it

Whenever he saw you walking with Law, because you two were just going to the lab, he would pop in between you and Law just to say hi to you and shoot Law some weird side-eyes glare

Even Law thinks he's weird sometimes

Ace's on the soccer team, and his soccer team mates like tease him

"Oh hey that's Y/N! Y/N!!! Come see Ace score a goal!! He's wants to show you how cool of a man he is!!"

He would deny it everytime

But he can never hide anything from the oh so observant Sabo

So when Sabo shoot him the "You like Y/N, don't you?" out of nowhere

He blushed and ran away from Sabo until Sabo has to climb up a tree to catch him

That's how smitten he is

"BUT DON'T TELL Y/N ABOUT IT"

Huh, ok, this is getting too long so I'll make a part 2

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destieltropecollection · 3 years

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Destiel Trope Collection 2021 | Day 22: Meet Cute

Trick Or Oh No, Please Don't Cry | @deansmultitudes

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,360 Main Tags/Warnings: Modern AU, Dad!Castiel, Halloween, Fluff Summary: Dean expected the Halloween night, spent on giving out candy, to be rather uneventful. And it was, at least, until the tiny disaster happened.

Losing A Few Teeth | @vampamber

Rating: General Word Count: 1,481 Main Tags/Warnings: dentist office, high on nitrous oxide Dean, drunken marriage proposal, first meetings Summary: Dean probably should’ve had his wisdom teeth removed ages ago, but he's never been fond of doctors of any sort, and that included dentists as far as he's concerned. But when he wakes up from getting them removed, the nitrous oxide makes him a bit drunker than expected. Proposing marriage to the hot nurse with the ungodly amazing blue eyes level drunk, apparently.

irresistible | @kitmistry

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 1,529 Main Tags/Warnings: Top Castiel, Bottom Dean, Porn with Plot, Strangers to Lovers, Celebrity Castiel Summary: Well, hello there, Mr. Dark-and-Handsome. Dean can spy what is surely a demi-god, talking with a few ladies across the room. The ladies all coo, and blush, and cling to him with adoration written into every curve of their shapely bodies. The demi-god, though, is cool and aloof. He smiles politely at them, but doesn’t single any of them out. Doesn’t even really look like he’s paying that much attention to them, actually. His strikingly blue eyes scan the room every now and then, without focusing on any person or art piece in particular. The demi-god turns his face so he’s looking somewhere to Dean’s left, and holy. fucking. shit. That’s Castiel Novak! The movie star!

My Honey Bee | @vampamber

Rating: General Word Count: 1,774 Main Tags/Warnings: ABO, alpha Dean, omega Cas, true mates, scenting, first meetings Summary: Rolling his eyes as Sam excitedly made his way to a booth selling what looked like weeds as far as the alpha was concerned, Dean started wandering in the opposite direction. Wrinkling his nose in horror at an older lady selling hideous crafts made out of freaking corn husks (do people even buy crap like that?), he was suddenly hit by the most delicious scent ever. He knew he recognized it from somewhere, but he just couldn’t place it. It was sweet and thick, and even had him drooling a little from how good it smelled.

To All The Places I've Never Been | @vampamber

Rating: General Word Count: 2,814 Main Tags/Warnings: first meetings, barista Cas, pilot Dean, referenced Sam/Eileen Summary: Castiel has always wished that he could travel the world and see all the beauty and adventure awaiting him. Working at Starbucks for minimum wage, though, usually makes travel like that way too expensive and impossible. And working at said Starbucks in an airport only adds insult to injury. Maybe the cute green-eyed pilot that just ordered some coffee can sweep him away from here?

The Fortune Teller | @expectingtofly

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 3,038 Main Tags/Warnings: Fortune Teller!Cas, Eileen/Sam, Normal Life AU, Beach Vacation, Fluff, Inspired by the song "Fortune Teller" by Robert Plant and Allison Krauss Summary: Dean doesn't trust any of this hippy bullshit—as he likes to call it. But he's at the beach on vacation with Sam and Eileen and they've dragged him to a fortune teller, so he reluctantly follows. Cue an attractive, charming fortune teller and a palm reading Dean wants to dismiss, but can't seem to shake.

Winchester's Haunted House | @deansmultitudes & @kitmistry

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 3,417 Main Tags/Warnings: Modern AU, Past Character Death, Ghost!Cas, Halloween, Haunted House Summary: For the Halloween evening, Dean turns his new home into a haunted house for neighboring kids. But once all the guests are gone, is when the real haunting begins.

Heat powered by you | @Mistofstars

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4,177 Main Tags/Warnings: Destiel, cold winter night, holding hands for warmth, first encounter, Fluffy, Romance, duracell campaign Summary: Just two strangers in a cold winter night, who have both missed the last bus home. Luckily, there is a bus shelter that provides warmth – as long as you hold hands to close the electric circuit. Too bad that Castiel appears pretty infuriating to Dean. Or is it something else? P Inspired by the Duracell campaign "Moments of Warmth".

The Christmas Market | @gii-heylittleangel

Rating: General Word Count: 4,377 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas Fic, First Meet, Meet Cute Summary: Being alone in a country he didn't know was never Dean's plan. Still, he tried to make the best out of it and, in the end, he thinks he really did.

Muse | @twisted-pride

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4,605 Main Tags/Warnings: temporary character death, implied/referenced character death Summary: His life is but flashes Castiel has remembered from dreams, recreated in monochrome, if only so that Cas could prove this man wasn’t made up. After all, he’s certain he’s alive, that he’s someone out there that Cas just can’t get out of his head: he’s stuck with Cas too long to be fictional. And yet -- and it sounds silly in Cas’ head -- he’s never met the man. Someone he has drawn and painted for at least a decade, one that’s haunted his dreams even longer, and he didn’t even know his name. --- Ever since he was young, Cas has been haunted by this phantom of a man, both in his dreams and in the real world. No matter what Cas does, where he goes, the man is there too. In every mirror, every reflection, in puddles and car windows and the faintest reflection of Cas in the metal pitcher at restaurants. He's certain the man isn't the result of an overactive imagination or a ghost with unfinished business, but if he really is experiencing someone else's dreams, why is it only this stranger that Cas sees in his dreams and no one else? [Prophet AU]

This Charming Man | @expectingtofly

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4,993 Main Tags/Warnings: College AU, Fluff, First Kiss, Inspired by the song "This Charming Man" by The Smiths Summary: Castiel is not having a good night. He was on a bike ride, until some asshole nearly hit him with his car, sending Cas veering onto the shoulder. Now he has a flat tire and has to walk his bike back to his college dorm. And, it looks like it's about to rain. Then said asshole returns, apologizing and offering to give Cas a drive. Sure, he's attractive and Cas' own age, but he could also be a serial killer for all Cas knows. Either this night is looking up or it's gonna get a whole lot worse.

Splash | @notfunnydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 5,132 Main Tags/Warnings: Dean wears a bikini, Genderfluid Dean Winchester, Feminization, HHomophobic Language, genderphobia, lifeguard!cas, First Time, First Kiss, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting Summary: Dean is an idiot. Since it’s hot outside and Sammy wants a break from his studies, they decide to check out the local pool. Feeling brave Dean decides to finally be himself for once. Will he regret that?

A New Perspective | @kingdumbass

Rating: Mature Word Count: 5,471 Main Tags/Warnings: First Date, Meet Cute, Blind Date, Artist Cas, Language Summary: A recently dumped Dean is begrudgingly dragged off of his couch by his brother Sam to attend an art show. As it turns out, getting off the couch can be a good thing sometimes.

The Samhain Feast | @deansmultitudes & @kitmistry

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 5,840 Main Tags/Warnings: Magic AU,Wich!Dean/Familiar!Cas, Animal Sacrifice Summary: The end of the harvest. The one day the veil between our world and the otherworld is thinnest. The day when a witch coming of age can try summoning and binding a familiar. The Samhain Feast is a tradition so ancient, no one remembers how it started. Dean has attended every single one of them since he was old enough to walk, watching witches meeting their familiars and bonding with them. This year, it's his turn to make an offering. And hope one of the familiars chooses him.

Dear Santa | @imbiowaresbitch

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 5,854 Main Tags/Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Meet-Cute, Misunderstandings, Top Castiel/bottom Dean Winchester, First Kiss, Fluff and Smut, Frottage, Rimming, Anal Sex, Happy Ending, kinda a christmas fic Summary: Castiel takes his 8-year-old son Jack to the mall, where Jack decides he HAS to speak to Santa. Cas is glad he did.

#destiel trope collection 2021 #day 22 #meet cute #destiel #supernatural #fanfic

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vvienne · 3 years

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SANGCHENG FIC RECS

flight of a one-winged dove by bloodletter

Talking at someone is only fun for so long. That's all being a sect leader is: talking and talking to people bound by courtesy to listen to you. It's so fucking dull. A relief, then, to face one’s equal, and no less an old friend who is inclined to interrupt you whenever you ramble. He likes it. It’s one of Jiang Cheng’s best qualities.

In the years after Guanyin Temple, Nie Huaisang attends to unfinished business.

whipped by reindeercolin

Jiang Cheng blinks. “Dammit, they do think you’re dating one of us! I hate it when Wei Wuxian is right.” “Excuse me?” Nie Huaisang gives him an incredulous look. “First of all, they think I’m dating you, and if anything, they’re getting more aggressive!”

(or, the one in which Jiang Cheng has too many relatives, not enough patience, goes through a brother-divorce and finds out he has a boyfriend - in that order, more or less.)

Ponder the Manner of Things by Pip (Moirail)

It's not that Jiang Cheng can't do a quadruple flip followed by a triple toeloop. It's that his mother seems to think that's still not good enough.

Jiang Cheng is grateful that Huaisang doesn’t have the same kind of family life that he does, all - messy with expectations and cravings for closeness and nothing but vague filial piety where love is meant to be.

a matter of time and organ donation by nev_longbottom

This is it. The call he’s been waiting for. His brother had ‘an accident’ or ‘died in his sleep’ or some other lie to cover up the murder.

“Please, Mingjue is missing. He got into one of his moods and he was gone when I came back from grocery shopping. He’s not answering his phone. I don’t know if he left or was kidnapped or if something else happened. Huaisang, please, if you’ve heard anything,” Meng Yao begs.

Nie Huaisang hunts his brother's killer.

no tip necessary by tattletold

With all the nervousness of a virgin in a whorehouse, Jiang Cheng closes the door behind himself and enters, sitting on the low seat across from the escort. The pretty young man keeps his face hidden behind the delicate fan, and Jiang Cheng thinks for a moment that he recognizes the design painted onto it now that he’s closer.

It’s only when he lowers the fan and opens his eyes, wide, does Jiang Cheng paralyze with realization.

They speak at the same time in equally horrified tones.

“Jiang Cheng?”

“Nie Huaisang?”

Your Place in the Family of Things by raisedbyhyenas

No matter what happens, no matter the circumstances, Wei Wuxian will always leave and Jiang Cheng will always get stuck trying to rebuild from whatever’s left.

*************

In which Jiang Cheng makes friends; gets a cat; begins to rebuild a relationship; and maybe, possibly, potentially, learns a little bit how to be happy.

sigh yourself to sleep by merthurlin

“Let me take care of you, A-Cheng.”

No one—no one has ever said that, not to Jiang Cheng. He wasn’t a very sickly child, true, but the few times he remembered being sick it was never—he had a-jie, and later on he had Wei Wuxian, for what it was worth, but he never—

halcyon days by serein

They're in a forest, it seems just the two of them.

"You have to be patient," Nie Huaisang says, "I once waited for three days to catch a sparrow."

"Three days?" Jiang Cheng replies, sceptical. He can't imagine Nie Huaisang having the attention span for that.

"It's not that hard," Nie Huaisang says, "if you know what they want, and find a way to get it for them."

[JC stumbles across an array and gets physically de-aged to be 16/17. NHS kindly offers his help to an old friend, but things... escalate.]

To Distraction by isozyme

It’s the third night of Yunmeng’s kite festival celebrations. Nie Huaisang has come visiting, eager to partake in the food, the arts, and Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng wants to forget. Nie Huaisang has some new lube and wants to see if he can put his whole fist in somebody’s ass.

Lights, Camera, Kiss by MissMagus

When Nie Huaisang gets paired with straight porn star Jiang Cheng for a five-part series, he’s sure it will be an utter disaster. Until the cameras start rolling and their chemistry alights like wildfire.

(Or, the five times Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng have sex for their job, and the first time they have sex outside of it.)

Only the Shallow by hamburglar

When Nie Huaisang gets bored and convinces Jiang Cheng to make out with him, he’s probably not expecting to still be dealing with the guy 16 years later.

OR the story where Jiang Cheng goes into: the Cloud Recesses, denial, some bushes, the private porn library at the Unclean Realm, and subspace.

Blind for Love by manamune

Jiang Cheng is poisoned with an aphrodisiac and needs to orgasm repeatedly in order to flush it from his system.

The first person he thinks of going to for help is Nie Huaisang, who does what any good friend would do: he shoves his three decades worth of feelings for Jiang Cheng deep into the recesses of his mind, locks them up so he can pretend they don’t exist, and then fucks him so hard that he passes out.

Descending by lightningwaltz

“I want to… to not be embarrassed.”

“To not be embarrassed during what?”

“During sex.” There. Jiang Cheng can say it. “In general. Also with you right now.”

“Very good.”

“When did you become so authoritative?” Jiang Cheng wants to sound irked, but can’t quite manage anything beyond nervous curiosity.

dark water by Morgan (duckwhatduck)

There are words, somewhere, for this. Words that would put a shape to the thing that sits between them, would seal their understanding. There are words for sympathy, for friendship, for understanding, for that touch, for this feeling.

Jiang Cheng can feel them, somewhere, fluttering formless at the back of his throat, squirming under his ribcage, but he cannot grasp them. They swim beneath the surface, fish in muddy water - and like fish, they will dart away if he grabs for them incautiously, and leave him nothing but cold splashes and grit.

Or: Why talk about things when you could fuck about it instead?

never knew i was a dancer by isozyme

“What’s a stone butch and why aren’t they real?” Jiang Cheng asks, too buzzed to care too much about not being up on lesbian culture.

Huaisang pats Jiang Cheng on the no-man’s-land between her boobs and her shoulder. “You’re so useless, Jiang Cheng. A stone butch is a fictional hottie who doesn’t make you do any work at all, just wants to give head and fuck you stupid on her strap.”

“Fictional?” Jiang Cheng echoes, having - not a moment, per se, but sort of a problem where her thoughts are going too fast for her poor drunken brain to keep up with.

“Nobody actually wants to fuck a chick who’s too lazy to eat you out after,” Huaisang mumbles.

After leaving Wei Ying and Lan Zhan’s bachelorette party, Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang decide to experiment with some outdated stereotypical lesbian sex roles.

lights out by rynleaf

“Nie-zongzhu makes the most sense,” Sect Leader Yao nods sagely, to murmurs of assent across the Jin Sect’s gold gilded banquet hall. Jin Ling, clad in opulent robes that look somewhat comical on a boy of sixteen, inclines his head as his scribe makes a notation, and the noise rises as sect leaders pat themselves and each other on the back for a decision well made.

Jiang Cheng groans and downs his cup of wine in one go.

In which the Sect Leaders elect a new Chief Cultivator.

shadow eternal by rynleaf

“You want me to distract the Chief Cultivator from the Annual Cultivation Conference, so you and other sect leaders can… what. Sign contracts without adult supervision?”

“If Jiang-zongzhu is amenable,” Sect Leader Ouyang repeats with a nod.

Jiang Cheng pinches the bridge of his nose. The pressure he felt building behind his eyes all morning is swiftly coalescing into a bitch of a headache. “Just what do you all think I’m capable of?”

Sect Leader Ouyang bows with a cheerful smile. “We have utmost faith in Sandu Shengshou’s abilities.”

In which a night hunt ends in disaster, Jiang Cheng catches a glimpse of Nie Huaisang's heart, and feelings are discussed after a certain fashion.

Four Days in Lanling by halotolerant

Nie Huaisang looks at him. ‘You are confusing me, Clan Leader Jiang, perhaps I misunderstand, but…’

‘You didn’t misunderstand. You don’t misunderstand. You understand all of it.’ For six months Jiang Cheng has been mulling this over, and now with Nie Huaisang in front of him he can’t figure out if he most wants to knock him down or kneel at his feet. What he does is try and breathe. Clench his hands at his sides. ‘And now I am going to ask you to do something for me. You have to do something for me. You have to help Jin Ling.’

Lean for Love Forever by Pip (Moirail)

Having a crush on your roommate is really embarrassing, except that's apparently the opposite of a problem. Jiang Cheng can't deny that's pretty convenient.

Wei Ying holds it up, a series of straps and buckles and velcro and wow, really a lot of leather. It has absolutely no conceivable form beyond tangled.

Nie Huaisang opens the door at exactly the moment that Wei Ying holds the thing up to Jiang Cheng’s chest, as if he’s trying to imagine how exactly it would fit onto a person, and it falls into a tangled pile between them while they stare at Huaisang in mild mortification.

acquired momentum by mongrelmind

Had Madam Yu known that this is where her son would end up, she would have gouged his eyes out with her bracelet before he made the grave mistake of looking in the direction of Nie Huaisang.

in which Nie Huaisang has an art show, Jiang Cheng is begrudgingly topless*, and there are. Shenanigans.

*Nie Huaisang excluded.

#sangcheng #mdzs #mdzs recs #fic recs #jiang cheng #nie huaisang #ill probably add more fics when I read more fics

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kikilefangirl · 3 years

Text

Safety Net

Steve Rogers x Reader

(Word Count: 1.7k)

It was dark, but you knew movement on your property when you saw it.

Your grip on your gun tightened as you stared into the black abyss in front of you. The sound of footsteps crunching across your grass was off—different pairs of feet hitting the ground at different times. You counted more than three.

The gun wasn’t ideal. It was too much of a spectacle for the occasion. You pulled a knife out of its sheath, and sliced it through the air. You stuffed the gun into the waistband of your shorts, and crouched down. Thankfully, the intruders were too far to hear the slight groan of the floorboards under your bare feet. But they were too close for your liking.

In a strange stroke of fate, one of them moved recklessly, sprinting towards your front porch. You sprung into action, launching at them from the shadows.

You sliced a nice sized gash on the right leg. The pain caused an audible male groan, causing him to falter long enough to take advantage and place a knife to the man’s throat.

He stilled at the cold metal on his carotid.

“Y’all are either stupid, arrogant, or desperate to come here!” You called out. Your voice carried out into the darkness and the footsteps ceased. Your hostage didn’t dare struggle against you for fear of death, but how much his crew cared was unknown.

“Y/N, stand down.”

A red sphere of light formed, and none other than Steve Rogers stepped forward, bathed in its glow. You lowered the knife and your hostage bolted towards his companions.

Your focus never left Steve as you surveyed his group. The light came from the girl beside him, while none other than Bucky Barnes was on his other one.

“I have spare beds and medical supplies for your friends down in the bunker. Second door on the right.” You stated.

One by one you let Steve’s team pass you, with varying looks of venom and curiosity. When it came time to let the man himself inside, he spoke.

“Y/N, I know this—”

You cut him off with a hand in his chest.

“Not tonight, Rogers.”

You turned on your heel and left the large man standing in the doorway.

...

Strangely enough, you slept soundly for the rest of the night.

You woke up just before dawn and began cooking for your guests. If they were worth anything battle wise, Steve’s team would be up soon. You started on breakfast. Grits, sausage, the works. You imagined it had been some time since they had a proper meal. You felt eyes on your back, and chose to ignore them.

“We had nowhere else to go.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, you stiffened and stirred the grits harder. Although your back was to him, you heard the floor groan under his weight. He couldn’t have been much more than a few feet away.

“You gonna look at me?” Steve asked you. His tone was low and deep.

You clicked your tongue and turned the burner down. You still had on your short shorts, tank top, and no bra from the night before. Your headscarf was wrapped around your head, a weapon just in reaching distance. You came around slowly, schooling your features into a blank expression.

“Thank you, for letting us stay.” He said.

When you finally took him in, Steve was as captivating as he was when you saw him the first time. His hair was a shaggy mess on top of his head, though. And he’d grown a beard. His eyes however, were full of the same dutiful gaze you remembered.

“You came here for sanctuary, I’m giving it.”

Don’t ask me for more.

Steve frowned and put his hand on his hips.

“Y/N. What do you want me to say?” He pleaded. You ran your tongue across your front teeth. Before you could respond, the girl from the night before emerged from the bunker.

“I’m Wanda, thank you for your hospitality.” She said. You softened at her somewhat haggard appearance. Her clothes were ripped in places, and her hair wasn’t combed out. You’d come across her file before, but only in passing.

“I just washed some towels and I’ve got fresh clothes in my closet for you, if you want ‘em.” You knew what it was like to be a woman on the run, surrounded by nothing but men. Wanda lit up at your offer and thanked you, slipping into a language you didn’t speak. You nodded and she left.

As soon as the bathroom door clicked shut, you stalked over to Steve, whose eyes had never left you.

“Tell your friends breakfast is ready.” You ordered. Steve nodded.

His hand came up to your cheek, and you could feel the rough calluses against your skin. All you wanted to do was close your eyes and melt. To keep Steve Rogers to yourself and stay in your hideaway.

He was a soldier—dutifully watching over those who couldn’t defend themselves. You were entirely different. You had been fucked over by enough people, enough times to know better. Why Steve didn’t, you had no clue.

You stepped back and folded your arms together.

“We get to work on game plans after breakfast. I’ll cash in some favors and see how far that’ll get y’all.” You told him.

The rest of Steve’s team was beginning to file into the kitchen. Steve held your hand, and the sudden warmth in front of everyone caught you off guard. Instinctively, you bristled at the contact.

You pointed Sam to a plate you made him, as a sort of apology for your misunderstanding. He gave a half smile and nodded in thanks.

“Listen up. Y’all got a week to get the hell out my house and plan your next moves. Meet me downstairs when y’all are done.” You announced. Without sparing Steve a glance, you promptly exited.

...

“Your best bet is a big city. I can get you passage from here to Cape Town, but after that you’re on your own.” You explained.

A chorus of tentative approval came from Steve’s group, but he hadn’t said anything yet. His eyes were glued to the different screens and maps.

“What if we went the back way. Get in by land and make our way to the coast.” He offered. You squinted, following his logic and trying to find truth in it.

“Waterways are crawling with authorities, legal or not. Y’all want that heat without a solid exit?” You pondered out loud. Steve was staring at you in complete earnest and everybody knew it.

“Plenty of blinds spots if we get enough distractions in the meantime.” He countered.

“I’m not keeping you safe here just for you to take bigger risks.” You said firmly.

The two of you were battle hardened strategists with too much history and a lot of unfinished business. Sam groaned from the other side of the bunker, cutting through your standoff.

“I, uh, need help in the kitchen. Y’all come help.” He called out. One by one, Steve’s team excused themselves with varying levels of awkwardness. Then it was just you and Steve in the bunker.

“I think that was intentional.” You joked. Steve placed his hands on his hips and sighed.

“Probably because you haven’t looked me in the eyes since we got here.” He replied.

“I’m not the one trying to get myself killed, Steve. You are. So don’t blame me for not wanting to look at the dead man walking.”

Your words hung in the air and a long silence followed.

“Come with me.” He said at last.

You scoffed, knowing full well you were retired. You had absolutely no desire to get back out in the field out of sheer self preservation. Steve talked a big game about love and a future, but he was in no shape or form willing to hang up the shield for it.

The two of you were at an impasse. Then Steve did the unexpected: he punched the wall.

It was a relatively controlled impact, but your house wasn’t built to sustain a super soldier’s outburst. An outburst that was a rarity in itself. Steve chest heaved less from effort and more from frustration. His jaw kept clenching and unclenching as he tried to keep it together. Dust from the wall coated his fist, and a solid chunk of cement dropped to the floor.

“I can feel something coming. I don’t––I don’t know what it is yet, but I feel it.” He said at last.

You made no move to approach the blonde, just waiting for him to finish processing the wave of emotions on his face. That was what you liked most about Steve. He never hid when he was angry or sad or lonely; his openness was a welcome change for you.

And this time it was more serious than it had ever been. You swallowed hard and made a beeline for the console. Punching in the code, a small chamber on the far side of the wall appeared, revealing the one thing you never thought you’d ever need again.

“Nat got one suit, I got another,” you started, meeting Steve’s eyes for the first time. A haunting uncertainty stared back at you.

You clasped your hand in Steve’s, gripping tight enough to turn the tips of your fingers white.

“I trust you, Rogers.” You admitted. You looked straight ahead at the suit, but you weren’t really there. You imagined the action you would see in it, and how devastating this phantom battle would be. A growing pit in your stomach nagged at you, Steve’s foreboding presence had fully transferred to you.

Something wet hit your cheeks. Tears to brace yourself, tears to mourn the peace you had here, and warmth. Steve wiped them away as they came, cradling your face with his free hand.

You craved the closeness––it was a string of touch and breath and skin the both of you lost in isolation, but found in each other. A new day was coming and you needed to be by his side when it did.

“I like the beard look.” You whispered. Steve snorted, but promised to keep it just for you. And the calm you felt with him was enough and would always be enough.

#black!reader #poc!reader #marvel mcu #steve rogers x black!reader #steve rogers x poc!reader #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #slightly pre infinity war #nomad steve #nomad steve x reader #bearded steve rogers #nomad Steve hits different #woc!reader #steve rogers angst #mostly happy ending

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karmelek-writes · 3 years

Text

comfort zone | part 2

Harrison Osterfield x fem!reader, Tom Holland x fem!reader

Synopsis: What do you do when you love them but want someone else?

Word count: 2.9k

Warnings: slight angst, swearing, suggestive comments, mentions of sex, there will be smut in other parts

Read part 1 here!

A/N: Hey guys! This is part two of the "comfort zone". I wanted to thank you all again for supporting me and commenting, reblogging, and liking part 1! I hope you like this one too. Let me know what you think! Also, if anyone would like to be added to the taglist, please message me! I'll create one soon.

Love, W 🖤

When you sat down next to the blonde you immediately sensed that he tensed. You didn’t like how the things between you turned out to be so awkward. You two were never like that. And now you were scared to say a word to him. Suddenly texting seemed more appealing so you took out your phone again and started typing. You noticed Harrison glancing at you as if he tried to see if you are in a good mood for taking up this conversation. He didn’t want to be noisy and check who you’re texting so he quickly shifted his head to the slides that were displayed by your professor. However, he looked down at his phone when he felt it vibrate just to see that he got a message from you. Frowning, he touched the icon of your contact and read your message.

From Y/N:

Want to go out for a drink with me?

You watched him looking through the text anxiously, hoping that he didn’t get the wrong idea. You wanted to make things right, not only because you hated having unfinished business with people but also because you liked him and his company. Another thing was that he was Tom’s friend. You wouldn’t want him to feel bad about your misunderstanding with his best friend. When you opened your mouth to add something, Harrison turned to you with a lovely little smile. When he nodded some loose curls fell on his face making you smile in return and laugh inside. You didn’t miss the light in his eyes when you moved your hand slightly to put his hair back in its place just as you did with Tom. This time, however, you stopped midway and a crimson flush crept into your face. The blonde’s smile turned into a smirk when he caught up to your actions and before you could do something he moved a little closer to you to give you a chance to brush the messy curls out of his face. But instead of that, you slapped him on the arm and sank deeper into your seat what brought a laugh out of Harrison. He thought that you were adorable in your shyness and he definitely enjoyed making you flustered. The simple gesture made you hope that maybe nothing is lost yet. You just had to apologise and assure him that what had happened was just an accident. It would be easy, wouldn’t it?

After your lecture and interaction with Harrison, you felt a lot lighter. Your mind was at peace again and you could enjoy yourself knowing that everything will be alright between Harrison and you. When you got home the first thing you did was to lay down on a sofa. With a smile on your face, you stretched your body and closed your eyes. This moment of silence was what you needed after all these hours of anxiety and stress. Breathing deeply you slowly started to drift to sleep when the sound of the door opening brought you back to reality.

“I just got the best news EVER,” very excited Tom marched through the door with an enormous smile on his face. Noticing you laying on the sofa he stopped dead in his tracks hoping that he didn’t wake you. Looking up, you had to laugh at his wild eyes gaze, and tensed figure. You stood up to greet your best friend opening your arms for him. Tom smiled widely and embraced you in a tight hug but his strength and force made you lose your balance and collapse back on the couch. Brunette landed on top of you and you yelped in surprise. You could feel his weight on you but for some reason, it didn’t bother you at all. Actually, you found it really nice to be able to enjoy the way his muscles flexed when he tried to steady himself not to crush you. For anyone who walked through the door, the scene would seem unpleasant but you were comfortable feeling the heat radiating from his body. Every since you two started hanging out, a feeling of comfort and mutual understanding was created. With Tom things were always easy, you didn’t argue much and on top of that, it was really hard for awkwardness in your relationship. You loved him for his incredible ability to turn bad situations into good ones and brush everything off with laughter. Yet, this time you haven’t heard him giggling or saying some playful words to make you blush. You moved your head to look him in the eyes and this time you saw something you’ve never seen before. His gaze studied your face patiently, not missing any spot on your skin. His mouth was slightly agape as he tried to find the right words to say but your beauty was so mesmerising he couldn’t tear his eyes away from you. Your bodies were so close that you could feel his shallow breath on your face and you started wondering why was he so nervous out of a sudden. Little did you know that Tom has realised something at that moment. He realised he couldn’t find any flaw in you despite watching you the whole time. He realised that you make him the happiest and that he would never be the same without you. And most importantly, Tom realised that he could never make you as happy as he wished to. He has always made sure you were doing alright and that you knew he was there but he couldn’t force himself to love you. He tried, he really tried to develop some feelings. He would lay in bed at night thinking about you and what is wrong with him that he can’t love such an amazing person. Tom never believed in soulmates but he truly thought you had his heart and soul. When you were gone, he always felt like there was something missing. A puzzle that combines his messy lifestyle with his fucked up mind. You always had the right things to say to make him feel better and he never felt like you were judging him. He truly found someone with a pure heart and soul that is right for him and understands him without words. But if you weren’t the right one, where were they? Truthfully, Tom was tired of being alone. He wanted someone to love him and he wanted someone to love. You were there for him but somehow it wasn’t enough. He lacked the feeling of crazy love. He wanted it to consume him and intoxicate all his senses. He wanted to be in a daze that would make him do all the cheesy stuff his friends would tease him about but he wouldn’t care because of the happiness. It killed him that it wasn’t you. He knew that, all too well, but he didn’t stop being close to you. He wouldn’t dare to even try and lose you. At that moment he knew that he would take up every fight to keep you by his side even if it meant to hurt himself because despite all that you were his home and he needed you to breathe. You were his safe zone and if he couldn’t have you by fate, he would have you by choice.

As the seconds passed by your heart started to beat more quickly anticipating his next move. The way Tom was looking at you made you forget how to breathe. All you could do was stare at his beautiful honey brown eyes sparkling in the yellow light of the lamp standing on the table. Finally, after what felt like hours, Tom whispered "I got the job," seemingly getting out of his thoughts but you saw that he was still trying to figure something out in his head.

"This.. this is amazing, Tom," you replied not paying much attention to what he was talking about since all you could do was drool over him.

"Yeah, I'm going to the USA," he laughed like he couldn't believe he got the part but still didn't move one bit. Tom's body was towering over you making it hard for you to focus on his words.

"Mhmm.. I'm proud of you, Tommy," the nickname quickened his heartbeat as he always got warm inside when you called him that. He thought the nickname was childish but he always melted when it came out of your mouth. He wanted to kiss your forehead as an act of thanking you but you suddenly yawned.

"I'm sorry that I woke you up. I was just excited," his pretty smile was replaced by a pout when he remembered the state he found you in. You took his face in your hands and giggled at his cuteness.

"I was just falling asleep, don't worry," you answered truthfully, not wanting him to feel bad for disturbing your peace.

"Are you still sleepy? We can lay down if you want," Tom proposed, concerned about your lack of sleep out of nowhere.

"Well, I'd say we're already laying down..." hesitation was evident in your voice almost as you were worried to bring up the topic. The look on Tom's face shifted quickly after he registered your words and looked down between your bodies. That was when he felt his crutch touching yours and a wave of embarrassment mixed with lust washed over him. He must have got lost in daydreaming about you not to notice that he was basically crunching you. He was surprised you could even breathe in this state. "But.. I-I don't mind..." your words eased his panic but didn't help the blood coming south.

In the trance, you moved your fingers along his smooth skin hoping that would calm him down. You weren't sure what you were doing but you enjoyed this little moment and didn't want it to end. Tracing the shape of his nose you licked your lips what made Tom close his eyes and exhale deeply.

"We need to stop or I'll do something we will both regret," when the words left his mouth you stopped your movement but kept your hands on his face. Tom was scared to open his eyes. He feared for your reaction. A few seconds passed by while you tried to find the right words. Were you surprised? Yes. But you couldn't fight the smile that crept on your face and the butterflies erupting in your stomach. Although, you weren't sure how you felt about what you've just heard you needed to feel him. It may be wrong but you wanted it.

"What if I don't mind?" you said softly just millimeters from his lips. Tom finally opened his eyes at your confession and you could see the confusion painted on his face.

"I-I-I.... Look um..." this was the first time you've seen your best friend so nervous that he couldn't get the words out. He seemed to be really troubled but he finally gave in resting his own hand on your cheek. "W-what does this mean for u-us?" he couldn't help but ask. Tom didn't want you to think that he was just taking advantage out of the situation. He needed to know your point of view on this because he didn't want to hurt you in any way and this was a dangerous field.

"I don't know but I really want this" your words made the brunette's eyes darken. Licking his lips for the last time, he moved your head closer to him and brushed his lips against yours in a sweet but passionate kiss. Your lips were moving softly in sync as if you kissed for the millionth time. You were making out for a good few minutes until the taste of him was so intoxicating you forgot how to breathe and had to pull out for a second to catch some air. Your break didn't last long because Tom pulled you back in taking advantage of your parted lips and pushed his tongue in. You moaned at the action and the sound made Tom thrust his hips against yours. At that moment you felt something poking your thigh. You didn't want to stop your make-out session but you knew you weren't ready to go further yet so you patted his chest softly to signal him that you wanted to stop. Tom pulled out slowly trying to see if he hurt you in any way. "I'm alright," noticing his worried gaze you assured him that there was nothing bad happening. "I'm just umm... not ready for t-the next s-step," suddenly you got anxious hoping that you didn't say anything wrong to make him upset.

"Oh.." was all he said, not fully realising what you were trying to hint on.

"I mean... you know," you looked down at his bulge hoping that he would understand your clue.

"OH!" he followed your gaze and finally caught up to what you meant. "Noo, don't worry about it. We um.. we don't have to go further if you don't want to," Tom tried to make you comfortable but he couldn't hide the flush on his cheeks that was a result of his embarrassment. He didn't know why he felt so awkward out of a sudden. You, on the other hand, felt more confused than awkward. You had to figure out your own feelings towards your best friend but you couldn't lie to yourself and say that you didn't enjoy it because that was probably the most amazing kiss you've ever had.

"Thank you," you didn't really register your words but it seemed that neither did Tom because he started to get up and fixing his clothes and hair. You only watched him, not wanting to move.

"Do you regret it?" Tom asked in a small voice noticing your absent look. He didn't know how to feel about the situation too. He allowed himself to let loose this one time and he just hoped it didn't destroy your friendship.

"Do you regret it?"

"I asked you first."

"Trying to be smart, Holland?" he genuinely smiled at your remark because then he knew that nothing has changed. You wouldn't joke with him if you were mad or upset.

Taking a deep breath, you got up and turned to face Tom. "I don't regret it. Do you?" he let go of a deep breath he didn't even know that was holding and shook his head. "That's... good." you summed up the situation making Tom burst out laughing. "What's so funny?"

"You are so weird," you faked an offended look at what he added "But so am I. That makes us a good match."

You nodded your head because maybe he was right. Maybe you two were a good match.

After the incident, things started to get more intense between you and Tom. You didn’t know if it was your imagination or if he made it his mission to frustrate you even more by caressing you while you were falling asleep or casually holding your hand when going on walks. Whatever it was, it rendered you warm inside. You couldn’t fight your butterflies and stop yourself by slowly falling for your best friend. Subconsciously, you hoped you two would end up together, his family loving you and all your friends saying how you make a good match. However, it didn’t seem as he had any intentions to make the first move. Even though Tom was very touchy with you, he never asked you out or even brought up the subject of the relationship. It was even more confusing because he wasn’t messing around with anyone nor he had any female friends he was interested in. You knew because as your relationship with Harrison started progressing you found yourself gushing to him about Tom. Harrison always tried to assure you that Tom liked you too and after many days of contemplating you decided to talk with him about your feelings. You were even more nervous because he was supposed to leave for the USA for his new job in a couple of days. You weren’t sure where this conversation would leave your relation but the fear wasn’t that strong to stop you from confessing your admiration for him.

Tom invited you to his get-away party so that was when you wanted to talk to him. His family wanted to say a proper goodbye before he would leave for long months that’s why they all came to celebrate his success. You were one of the first few people who has come so you helped around the kitchen and talked a bit to Tom’s brothers. You’ve known these people for so long that at this point you treated them like your own family. You had fun talking with Tom’s grandparents and playing with the youngest members of the family. Tom was watching you from the kitchen with a smile on his face as you were humming Baby shark with children. He loved that you felt so comfortable around his family and that they’ve basically accepted you as their own child. His parents would even ask him about you sometimes, hoping that there was something more between you. He always brushed them off saying that you two were just friends because that was the truth. Even though no one questioned your friendship, everyone knew that it wasn’t just Tom who was coming over, it was always Tom and Y/N. When his parents wanted to invite you for dinner or a nice family gathering they would just tell Tom to pass you the invitation. Everyone treated you two as one because they knew that your bond was special and Tom’s family has never seen him happier than when he was with you. They were grateful that he had someone in his life who kept him grounded. “She’s the one, mate,” is what his brothers keep telling Tom. He would just smile mysteriously because it wasn’t true but he didn’t want to let anyones’ hopes down.

When the children ran away you giggled and glanced at the room to spot someone you could talk to. That was when you noticed Tom at the foot of the stairs who was talking to Harrison. He must have sensed you looking at him because he turned his head directly to you. The action made you smile and you started to make your way to take up a conversation with the boys. After finally scrambling through the crowd, you stood eye to eye with Tom who took your hand and led you to his room. You didn’t know where Harrison went but you guessed that Tom wanted to talk to you about something important. Otherwise, why would he take you to his room giving air to Harrison?

Taglist: @harryhollandsgirlfriend, @osterfieldshollandgirl

#tom holland series #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #harrison osterfield #tom holland #haz osterfield #harrison osterfield x reader

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ghostsinthegreenhouse · 3 years

Text

Update (11.18.22): Name change from Camilla to Consuela. Slight human re-design in progress. Main Info.:

Though it won’t be stated directly in canon, she died young due to some form of child abuse or parental neglect. It’s implied she died alone with only her Lele muñeca for comfort and that the feelings and wishes she carried to her death were transmitted into the doll. Luckily she starts off not remembering the details of her death, but there’s still some lingering trauma and abandonment issues.

Her unfinished business, as it were, is to live a full and happy childhood. This heavy wish though is broken down in her mind as “I want to go home.”

Her doll is indestructible and her main source of power/protection. It’s a steel fortress for her to hide in and she uses the doll’s ribbons to attack others. The doll has a latent aura that inspires calm and attachment to whoever holds it. The more attached one gets, the easier it becomes to switch vessels.

Until then, though, she’s tethered to the doll and virtually powerless without it. She only shows herself to children early on but it depends in the attachment. If someone latches onto the doll bc they have an affinity to them, that’s all she needs. If an adult or a teen talks to the doll like it’s presence matters, she starts to manifest bit by bit not of her own volition and likely through the doll at first.

The doll has had stints across toy shops and antique shops around the world before it settled in Amity Park. It’s garnered reputation as more of an urban legend and a meme in town though, with teens today joking that if they came face to face with a doll like that they’d just punt it out of town. If only it were that simple.

That said, the mortals who do have history with Connie view things differently, and their memories of her vary from person to person. Another factor is their level of attachment and/or comfort before she departs.

Though she is a mischievous spirit, generally she doesn’t mean anything super malicious by it. Similar to Youngblood, her playful personality can be used to cause havoc, but if she’s provoked enough then she can cause a heck of a tantrum. She’s a relatively harmless spirit though; the type who gets kids in trouble with their parents and winds up making Danny late for his curfew bc she decided to make Barbie dolls pull their owners’ hair. Quirky things like that.

She 100% bad mouths people and blames it on her doll, Lulu.

More under the cut!

Personality:

Big La Chilindrina vibes.

She was probably born into a house with too many mouths to feed and/or had parents who were too in debt and too impatient to take care of her, so she learned to make herself scarce but naturally has a raucous and excitable personality. Was likely left to her own devices a lot so she developed self-sufficiency from an early age. She and her siblings probably got into a lot of trouble she _really_ shouldn’t have been in but no-one cared enough to ask unless they got caught. So her morals are pretty loosey-goosey, especially when it comes to survival.

Despite this, she’s Very Obedient when adults are around since she was raised in a poverty-ridden, old school Mexican environment. Such a troublemaker but as soon as la chancla or the belt is mentioned, she is terrified. Very polite out of respect and fear, but her smart mouth and antics catch up to her eventually. She does a complete 180 when punishment is on the table bc her mind immediately goes to the worst case scenario, and kicks up a fuss before la chancla even lands as a bizarre attempt to fight back. It leads to a few misunderstandings here and there.

Character Connections:

She has a very brief stint with the GIW who repeatedly fail to get through her doll to dissect her spirit. It is, of course, very traumatizing.

She has big Jerky Siblings energy with Danny but it’s all in good fun as the series progresses. Connie’s debut is when Danny buys her as an apology gift for breaking/losing Jazz’ treasured teddy bear. She ends up as a placeholder while Danny struggles to fix Bearbert, and Danny has to come to terms with respecting Jazz’s stuff while he wrestles her out of Connie’s clutches.

Jazz still has a soft spot for the ghost child bc she’s an interesting case study and clearly needs some sort of closure. Before she could ask Danny if she could talk to the doll ghost, her brother had already yeeted the doll back into the ghost zone and has a hundred different protective brother reasons why leaving the two alone together is a bad idea.

Big daddy Warbucks and little orphan Annie vibes with Vlad (after much growth on both their parts.) Just, y’know, add a little spice and a lot of salt. She’s his feral gremlin daughter and he’s her stinky cheese dad.

#Danny Phantom OC #DP OC #danny phantom oc #danny phantom original character #TW: child abuse #tw: parental neglect #Lex writes #Lex doodles #Consuela Villaphobos #Connie Villaphobos #DP OC: C. Villaphobos

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earnestly-endlessly · 3 years

Note

Hi love! Merry Christmas! I hope you are having an amazing Christmas!

I was wondering if as a Christmas gift you could make a cherik rec of enemies to lovers and/or friends to lovers?

🎅🏻🎄✨

A very, very belated Christmas to you. I had a very nice (though a bit busy) Christmas. I’m so sorry that this took me this long to answer but I took extra care to make this list. There are a LOT of great fics out there with both of those themes. I’m sure that I’ve missed some excellent ones but I do have quite an extensive list for you. I hope you enjoy!!

Enemies/Rivals to Lovers

Wasteland – FuryRed

Summary: After Shaw succeeded in his plan to unleash nuclear war, Erik could only watch in horror as the world completely fell apart. Atom bombs. Sentinels roaming the country. Mutants being rounded up and forced into death camps. These were dark days, indeed.

Countless lives were lost in the war that followed, until the remaining mutants and humans scattered across the land- each just waiting for an opportunity to eliminate the other side.

Erik was confident that the Brotherhood would emerge victorious, but what he hadn’t counted on was the human resistance acquiring a mutant as their leader- a telepath, who insisted that humanity and mutantkind could one day live in peace…

Few experience (what you really are) – flightingflame

Summary: Magneto despises the humans that experiment on and enslave his kind. Recaptured after escaping the lab where he spent his youth, he finds himself bought by a rich man whose household is full of mutants. But Charles is keeping secrets of his own, and while he’s a dangerous man, he’s a powerful one to have on your side.

Sink or Swim – endingthemes

Summary: Erik is a struggling single dad of three kids with a burning hatred for Sebastian Shaw, the man who wronged him years ago. He’s tried to move on with his life, but a run-in with Shaw’s rude, spoiled omega, Charles, drags up old anger.

When Charles ends up in the hospital after an accident, Erik goes to confront him only to find that Charles has amnesia. In the confusion, Charles mistakenly assumes that Erik is his mate.

Erik knows he should clear up the misunderstanding, but how can he pass up this perfect chance for a little revenge?

(An Overboard AU)

The Skin Outside Is Taking You For A Ride – blarfkey

Summary: The fights between Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr are legendary, and after four years Principal McTaggart is sick of it. After their most recent screaming match in debate club, Principal McTaggart gives Erik and Charles an ultimatum: they must help Raven work on the Senior play and the next fight that breaks out between them will result in expulsion.

Forced to be civil for the first time in their lives, Erik and Charles must reconcile their tumultuous rivalry with the new versions of each other they slowly discover.

The Burdens We Long to Carry – arcapelago (arcanewinter)

Summary: When mutant-supporter and ally President Kennedy is assassinated and all pro-mutant progress is dismantled, Charles is no longer so confident that he's on the right side, and extends his hand to Erik after a year of animosity. They settle tentatively into their old partnership, but not everything is the same as it was--and not everything can be. When Hank develops a metal frame to move the lower half of Charles' body for him if he wants it, Erik offers the use of his mind and his ability in order to make it work. Both find out what they're willing to do for each other, and neither knows if it'll be enough to keep them together.

Robbers – dsrobertson

Summary: 1933. Bank robber AU.

The Bureau of Investigation are after Public Enemy Number Two, bank robber Erik Lehnsherr. Charles Xavier is fiancé to Special Agent Moira MacTaggart. A closet homosexual, Charles visits the Manhattan pansy club scene and meets Max Eisenhardt. Only as time goes on, Max Eisenhardt turns out to be Erik Lehnsherr. Public Enemy Number Two.

Charles learns exactly what happens when you accidentally fall in love with a male bank robber in 1930s America.

Warning: Bring your tissues for this one.

Enemies With Benefits – bettysofia

Summary: Casual sex with your sworn enemy gets tricky once feelings get involved.

For the Roses – Nausicaa (ignusphoenicis)

Summary: After an accident left him paralyzed below the waist, former elite track star Charles Xavier needs a new hobby. His longtime rival, the German runner Erik Lehnsherr, might just be that hobby.

Note: Unfinished but worth a read.

Friends to Lovers

Best-laid plans – ikeracity

Summary: Charles decides that the best way to confess his feelings to his best friend is to surprise Erik at his apartment, naked, wearing nothing but a bow. It's perhaps one of Charles's worst ideas--or his best.

For The Record – endingthemes

Summary: As prominent figures in the mutant rights movement, activists Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr are pretty much household names. When a romance scandal between them breaks, their celebrity reaches new heights, and though the increased exposure is great, there’s a big problem -- the two of them are just friends.

Too bad no one believes them.

A Winter in New York – nextraordinaire

Summary: Charles and Erik have been childhood friends for as long as they can remember – Erik, living with his mother in Queens, and Charles in the big mansion in Westchester. For all, expect themselves, it was just natural progression that they'd end up together.

A series of ficlets from the same universe – can be read as separate and are out of chronological order.

Resolutions - Black_Betty

Summary: Charles ends the year with honesty and courage and by finally telling his best friend how he feels about him.

Or he would have, if Erik had bothered to show up.

Love Story – Sophia_Bee

Summary: Charles and Erik are best friends, until they're not. A love story in three parts.

In the Bleak Midwinter – keire_ke

Summary: It is not easy to find out, well into the second decade of the twenty-first century, that your mother arranged a marriage for you. It is even less easy to convince her that you have no interest in the very fertile Magda, she of the wide hips and lustrous auburn hair. Fortunately, with a good friend at his side over the holiday weekend, Erik is sure he will prevail.

Speech Making – phalangine

Summary: Modern Emma AU- Charles Xavier, accomplished matchmaker and headmaster of North America’s preeminent school for mutants, intends to add another notch to his belt: setting up his friend Moira. His oldest friend, Erik, has doubts about this plan.

Charles doesn’t share them.

Made To Be Broken – Yahtzee

Summary: Charles makes a New Year's Resolution:

“No more straight men,” Charles repeated as he began scrolling through the apartment directory for Emma’s name. “No more futility. No more pointless hoping and heartbreak. In 2013, I never want to hear the words ‘exception,’ ‘experimenting’ or ‘phase.’ If, God forbid, I hear ‘bicurious’ even once, I may take a hostage.”

Then he goes into the party, and Erik is there.

Math Reasons – pearl_o, pocky_slash

Summary: "Mom says Erik always knows what he wants, it just sometimes takes him a little while to actually realize it," Ruth said.

Charles fell in love with Erik the first night they met, the first week of freshman year. Two years of friendship, adventures, arguments, hijinks, secrets, and summer visits later, Erik is starting to catch up.

I ♥ NY (It’s My Friends I’m Not Sure Of) – oddegg

Summary: Erik is a single, successful man who likes quick sex with no strings attached. Then, he meets college professor Charles and it's love at first sight, at least for him. Charles, who heard of Erik's notorious ways, wants nothing to do with him besides being friends. Cue Erik bending over backwards to steal Charles' heart.

Love Medley – ikeracity

Summary: Charles and Erik have been friends and roommates for two years. They've also, coincidentally, been in love with each other for two years. Neither of them has ever had the courage to admit it to the other, but Erik's new friendship with Magda and an untimely accident forces them to confront their feelings once and for all.

A Road Trip to Pennsylvania – Aainiouu

Summary: For a year Charles has nurtured the biggest and most embarrassing crush known to man towards Erik. They are friends and roommates and when Erik asks Charles to accompany him to home on Thanksgiving of course Charles goes.

#cherik #cherik fic recs #fic recs #earnestly answers #asks

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