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iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid · 3 months

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I really don't mean to offend or anything. And I realise this is a personal question so no pressure to answer. However about that post you made about wanting to have kids. I'm a woman in my early twenties and I viscerally do not want kids. And your post for the first time had someone bringing up the "watching a person develope" aspect of having children. I figure that could be at least interesting to witness. So for the first I understand any motivation to have children. This is why I'm asking you. Because what you said makes sense to me.

So very genuinely I'd like to know how you're comfortable with the responsibility of it? Of a choice you can't undo and a lifelong commitment. You said you'll get your PhD. But with children right after, it won't stop your career, but won't it definitely mean you'll have less time for a field of study I'm assuming you're very passionate about? If not that, Won't it take away a lot of time for other things important to you?

Please don't misunderstand. I'm not asking bc I want to convince you not to have children (I'm asking because you're so sure of yourself so clearly you've considered this) on the other hand nothing you could say would convince me to have children. This really is just out of curiosity.

Being a woman I've been very much bombarded with people's opinions on motherhood and sometimes felt like I wouldn't have a choice in the matter. Luckily for me I do have the choice. But I am curious because many women do make the other choice, which I find truly unimaginable. My friends are around my age, therefore even if they're comfortable with the idea of children, they're not making concrete plans and my female relatives have already had children.

Anyway. I know that was a long ask but I'll reiterate please don't feel pressured to answer, I'm really just asking because I'm curious it's very much not actually important.

So I'm interested in the opinions of a women who does have concrete and realistic plans but hasn't yet had children.

no offense taken whatsoever! this is a good question and one i think is really worth answering because maybe you're not the only person wondering about this, you know?

under the cut because my answer got equally long, whoops lol

anyway, first off, i am of the very very VERY strong belief having children should be something you do when you're absolutely certain you want to do it, while not having kids should be the default. our society tends to teach us the opposite, but really, like you said, it's an irreversibly life changing decision. it's gonna demolish your finances, it's gonna get in the way of your career to at least some degree, and it is a vastly huge undertaking of responsibility. having kids shouldn't be a "well, idk, isn't that what you're supposed to do?" kind of decision, or god forbid a "my partner wants kids so i guess i'll do it" decision. and tbh i think that's a massive part of why poor parenting is such a prevalent thing. if you're not REALLY REALLY EXCITED ABOUT IT, how are you gonna give this new job the dedication it deserves?

all this to say: i'm certain i want to have kids because i've always wanted to have kids, even after looking at it through the lenses of "wait, do i only want this because it's expected of me? am i just afraid of growing old and getting lonely? do i just think babies are cute?"

and on the flipside, this is why i hold zero judgement toward people who don't want to have kids, in the same way i hold zero judgement toward people who, say, don't want to go into a phd for biochemistry. why would you do that if it's not something you really, really want?

in my case specifically: for a career, i can be a scientist with kids no problem, and honestly, i've always felt that my career isn't something i need to go full throttle on all the time. i don't want to be the top scientist in my field and churn out double digit publications a year, i want to teach classes and maybe run a small lab. i've always wanted a career that's not super serious, where i get plenty of free time, and raising kids is the thing that i most want to fill that time up with. also, even in my career my main goal is to be a teacher, a mentor, so i guess it all comes down to the fact that what i really enjoy most about science is helping other scientists develop, and like, that's the same concept as raising kids to develop into adults, in a way. it's just who i am and what i want to do, it's my skillset and more of a passion than the science itself ever has been (which is a pretty high bar!)

another thing to note: i had a pretty good childhood and good role models for parents. they for SURE had their issues and still do, but overall they were really, really dedicated to parenting and gave me a good impression of what parents are supposed to be like. i think i can give my kids a good childhood and raise them to be happy, healthy, well-adjusted adults. and that's not to say only people with good childhoods should have kids! my bf has a boatload of childhood trauma he's working through in therapy, and he also wants to have kids for sort of the same/opposite reason that i do: he knows a lot of what not to do, and he really feels that he can give a kid a better childhood than the one he had. plus he'll be such a good dad but talking about that makes my baby fever reach supernova levels so we'll just leave that there

lastly, on a personal/selfish note, i also want kids because i had a very large family growing up, which has gotten smaller and smaller over the years, and i want to be able to get back to something like that one day. i want to be the mom/aunt/grandma that hosts family parties where there's just a gaggle of children running all over the place and everyone feels welcome in my house. i want to be someone whose house is a safe place for a lot of people, not just my kids but their friends, too, and my friends and their kids, etc. etc., and this is of course possible without having kids of my own, but combined with the fact that i want kids of my own anyway... you get the deal

THIS ANSWER GOT REALLY LONG lol but anyway, point is, having kids is a huge decision in a similar way that throwing away 6+ years of my life to get a biochemistry phd was a huge decision. it's something that shouldn't be undertaken lightly, and only if you really, really, really want it. which i do, because raising kids is something i feel i'll be pretty good at and which i know i'll really enjoy.

#sam answers stuff #anon

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gngaram · 6 months

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hello, all! my name's ryan (h/h, 25+) and i'm so excited to be here! 💖 i sincerely look forward to interacting with all of you, meeting all of your muses, and having a grand ol' spooky time amongst all you other ghouls. 😈 speaking of which—i'd love to introduce you to a muse i've picked up, dusted off, and cleaned up real nice, so without further ado, meet chu garam! he's a scorpio stellium monster who was born and raised here in gaenari, and lemme tell you, he's hated every single moment of it. 💀 you can find out more below, and if you're interested in plotting with us, leave some love on this post! discord's best for me and available upon request, but dm's are cool, too. 😚

( * TW / mentions of abandonment, bullying, religious trauma, aggressive behavior, and other mature themes below. please read at your own discretion. )

as mentioned above, he was born and raised in gaenari to a family well-known in the community. his parents are chu yongwoo and park haesook (npc's). they own a diner called chu's, which has been open for decades at this point. they're very religious, highly devout, conservative catholics, and they've been the bane of garam's existence ever since he was old enough to form his own opinions. he doesn't claim them and he curses their names. it's a touchy subject. as a kid, he defied them immensely, and they viewed him as a test sent to them fro god. they thought of him as difficult; badly behaved; overly aggressive; combative. he was their first child who kicked-and-screamed on his way to church, and it got to the point where they genuinely thought he was demon-possessed. thankfully they didn't try to perform an exorcist on him, but their relationship has been fucked up for as long as he can remember. he knows they won't change. the only person he loves in his family is his older sister, gayul. he'd kill for her. no one will hurt gayul as long as he's around. he'll ensure that. garam not only pushed back against his parents and their "dated beliefs," but he also was a terror in school. he got by because he doesn't mind the learning aspect of the education system, but he often felt like he was surrounded by conformists. he's always been rather "feminine" in appearance and mannerisms, and his interests were always out of the ordinary, so his peers were quick to point out these qualities about him and were often mean, and sometimes violent. this aided in turning him into a rather aggressive and assertive creature. he had to learn to fight back and stand up for himself, and he often did so by tearing people down with vicious words. did he get punched a few times because of it? yeah, but if you ask him, he's tough, and somehow always got his revenge in the end. after graduation, he moved out of his house, became a licensed nail technician / esthetician at the local vocational school, and now works at your friendly neighborhood salon giving people their claws. 💅🏼 he also does makeup! how did he pay for school, and how does he afford his own place downtown? word on the street is, he has an arrangement with a certain "benefactor" based in daehan, but you didn't hear that from me. 🤫 he'll never admit to it either, so. beware though. if you book a pedicure with him, he will talk shit about your feet and resent you. he only gives a fuck about his nail art and his makeup artistry. if you book one of those services with him, you'll see a more fun side, but he'll also learn all your secrets. 😈 he'll keep 'em locked up... unless you cross him.

II.

garam is magnetic. when he walks into a room, you know he's there. heads will turn, chills will glissade down your back, and you have no idea whether to be excited, or scared. despite a petite stature and sweet face, his overall vibe is rather imposing.

he has eyes that gaze deeply into your soul; his manner of speaking is expressive and overloaded with passion; his moods are infectious, no matter what they are. his intensity can make it hard for him to make friends, but those who are solid enough to handle his volatility and prove their loyalty to him will get the most devoted friend.

garam is always searching for answers and hidden meanings in everything. his mind is highly analytical, probing, and achingly curious. this is how he somehow knows too much information about everyone he comes into contact with. he studies people, and their habits, and is naturally a bit suspicious of everyone.

he is self-indulgent, and sensual, and seeks pleasure in all things. he'll never say no to good sex; he'll never say no to one more drink; he'll never say no to staying up all night if he's with a loved one. he really should practice more moderation, but that's not something he's concerned with at the moment.

there's an obsessiveness about him that's both a blessing and a curse. on one hand, it helps when it comes to hobbies, crafts, and his job. this trait allows him to hone in on something until he masters it.

on the other hand, however, it can make him a rather smothering lover. he's known to orbit around his boyfriends, and it doesn't help that he can be a rather possessive, and jealous, being, as well.

like all scorpio natives, garam feels emotions deeply; oversensitive. all of his feelings are dialed up to 100% at all times. he can be gentle one moment, then aggressive in the next—moody.

moreover, he often views everything in black and white. love or hate. heaven or hell. smart or stupid. there's no in-between, no gray area. it's an extreme way to live.

if he loves you, he'll love you fiercely. he'll protect you and have your back come hell, or high water. he's not above blood pacts either. he's into shit like that.

III.

for quick reference re: plots, garam was born in 2003; he was born and raised in gaenari; he identifies as homosexual; he works as a nail technician and makeup artist at a salon in town.

close friends that he hung out with in high school. i imagine he made pals with the local outcasts. he couldn't have been the only one. my thoughts are they'd ditch class a lot, and talk about how one day they were gonna set the school ablaze together. they probably still want to deep down, and who knows? maybe they will.

some of his past bullies that he still has bad blood with. he'll make it his personal goal to dismantle these people's lives, so watch out. he makes a formidable enemy. additionally, some of his past bullies that maybe he's made friends with now. they'd've had to really make it up to him, though. he's not one to forgive and forget.

regular clients of his at the salon. he does advanced nail art and even advertises them on his instagram. he prefers a spookier, gothic style, but he's happy to accommodate basically anyone that has a vision and trusts him to make it happen, and make it his own. that said, not everyone leaves his chair happy. he resents having to do pedicures and likely has talked shit about your muse's feet to their faces.

current flings, past flings, fwbs, ex-boyfriends, anything else related to the romance topic are also highly welcome and even encouraged. he's not someone that keeps his passions hidden, and he has no issue pursuing a man that piques his interest; even if it's just for a casual night out. he'd make a terrible ex, though. beware.

people who maybe know and love his parents/brothers, and who look down on him for being as vicious to them as he is. his parents are seen as saints in the community, his older brothers are considered success stories since they're all elsewhere and killing it, and garam highly contests this and verbalizes his disdain for them. give him someone to debate.

just... give me all types of plots, please. 🥺💖

#ㅤ( 𝓖 ) INTRO /#ㅤ( 𝓖 ) HAPPY BELATED BDAY GARAM! /

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zykamiliah · 2 years

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Today on things I decided to be annoying about:

Chronically ill Shen Yuan is fanon

Right. Let me preface this by saying that everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and interpretations of any given text, but it's another thing to push certain interpretations as if they're the definite conclusion to the clues the text gives. And I've already seen a lot of people taking it as textual canon.

The truth is that we don't have any real proof that he was chronically ill or that he died at a hospital or that he had been sick for any number of years. This headcanon originated from the very loose interpretation of a phrase in the first fan translation, the "waiting around to die" bit, but there isn't anything that indicates that the reason for that phrasing was because Shen Yuan was sick.

People theorize that because of his pain tolerance and his easy acceptance of Without a Cure he must have suffered some kind of sickness in his previous life, but that could be justified in many other ways. Maybe he already had a high pain tolerance in his previous life, or maybe it's all because the original goods' body is accustomed to pain, which would make a lot of sense given the life that the original Shen Qingqiu led, from his days as a slave to his time as Qing Jing Peak Lord suffering frequent qi deviations. And about accepting Without a Cure, it's the same as him quickly falling into the role of Shen Qingqiu and his fate within the narrative. He describes himself as an easygoing person and he was shown to be able to adapt quickly to his life in a xianxia world.

The other argument people tend to make is that he died from food poisoning, according to most sources, which again could be attributed to any other circumstances, like him not having a very healthy lifestyle (eating junk food, a sedentary life). Not even him having a weak stomach is hinted at. I feel like, if that had been the case and he had had to be careful about what he eat in his previous life, he would have made some remark about it in the novel. If you had had a very restrictive diet for years, wouldn't you be jumping like an excited 5-year-old at the chance to eat anything you like without consequences? MXTX would have mentioned it. The author won't just leave an important fact about the main character out of the text for us to "discover it".

Something else I've seen been pointed out: the easy way Shen Yuan accepts his fate and how he thinks his death is inevitable. Well, pre-transmigration, of course he thought that. Death is inevitable as a whole. As Shen Qingqiu, he's been forced to play the role of the scum villain, and thanks to the system and his own worldview, he was convinced that he was going to die at the hands of Luo Binghe, the same way he was convinced it was inevitable that Binghe would marry hundreds of women and that the Endless Abyss event had to happen the way it did. The same way he believed for years the the Binghe he knew and lived with was the same blackened protagonist from PIDW.

He thought the narrative was unavoidable, and this false belief was reinforced when he confronted post-abyss Binghe for the last time, just before his self-detonation:

Shen Qingqiu breathed in lightly. Though he was clutching his sword, he had no intention of fighting. In truth, wielding this blade at this point would have no effect. “As things are now, there’s nothing I can say. Sure enough, even if we scheme until we’re exhausted, we cannot outwit fate.”

(Vol. 2, Chapter 8: Death)

And fate is the original plot of Proud Immortal Demon Way. From his point of view, no matter how much he tried he couldn't change anything about his and Luo Binghe's relationship and narrative fates. (and of course he's wrong about that.)

What was Shen Yuan's deal pre-transmigration then? Well, personally I subscribe to the theory that he was unmotivated, unsatisfied, and maybe a bit depressed with his life (depression can lower the immune system, so this also could be a possible cause for his food poisoning). He also probably didn't have a very close relationship with his family, though he misses them post-transmigration. The whole "you don't know what you have until you lose it" deal. As I talked in my other SY meta, he doesn't seem very attached to his first name, maybe because he doesn't miss being Shen Yuan at all, outside of his love for his family, that is.

There's this meta by x_los that puts it quite well.

In some ways, SVSSS reads to me like a kind of late-capital/Xi Jinping Thought era Chinese millennial generational angst narrative, where Shen Yuan--at points in the novel, indisputably, and probably also before his death--is drifting, unengaged and even actually depressed in this under-processed way (like, he does NOT know how to think or talk about or even recognise this). I think that's an interesting aspect or use of isekai, and part of the charm of the whole mechanic's enabling Shen Yuan to come into himself and grow up (in terms of his sexuality, but also more broadly).

About that last part and how the transmigration life gave purpose to Shen Yuan's life: Be it about surviving, teaching his disciples, being a peak lord, doing missions during the three years mourning period, it gave him drive and something to strive for. Or as x_los put it:

In some ways, Shen Yuan's foundational problem is class. If he'd had a family that would have been satisfied by his being an overly-invested high school lit teacher--or if he'd grown up feeling he could be thus satisfied, that could be the Answer to his whole litcrit momfriend soul. Some kind of traditional Scholarly Post could also have given Shen Yuan shape and context. Instead he's drifted into being a bit of a NEET, and he's not necessarily much happier in that than Bing-ge is in being a knives-out comphet4imperialism demonic overlord. Textually, Shen Yuan as Shen Qingqiu is actually almost never lazy. It's another lie he tells about himself, like 'I'm straight'. We can't really know what he was like as Shen Yuan: the narration sticks close to him. We can deduce that he was at a loose end and dissatisfied, but then, isn't his whole generation?

(ibidem)

(seriously go read the whole meta is not that long and it's great)

Scrolling down the comments of the same meta I came upon a discussion about this topic, and found a rather interesting one by user audemeyre, about why the chronically ill sy headcanon seems to be so popular:

The idea may be born of what you say, but it took a lot of place for the fanon for a good reason: we do not know anything of Shen Yuan before (he does not even think about it). Just that he was a rich second generation, thus did not earn anything. He does not speak of a former work, former studies, we know little about his family (not even the names) he did not seem really close with them or do not seems to have friends.

Nowaday a lot of isekai have people that worked, or had difficulty, or at least did somethings in their life beside reading a trash story. (...)

And there come the sickly theory: he could not [have] a normal live because of that [being sick], he was stuck in an hospital fighting for his live.

Is it not better than thinking that shen yuan was a lazy young master leeching on his family money while not doing anything/not having any project besides that/not helping in anything/ not questioning anything in his life and not being really close to his family. (And it fit the directly leeching on binghe comportement and his disgust with sqh, that in the end was just working to eat and did not have any backing). Not a really likable character in the end? (Thread)

But that, my friends, is the thing. He was a second generation rich kid doing nothing with his life except reading webnovels and being the equivalent of a reddit dudebro hater in the forums. He was wasting his potential because he had nothing to strive for, nothing to live for, nothing concrete to motivate him. And I think not many people in the fandom would be sympathetic to that kind of character.

However, even with Shen Yuan being a somewhat flawed character, his core characteristics never changed in his life as a transmigrator (and I'd say he was able to exercise them more in the pidw world) like his kindness, his inability to stay aside when someone is in danger or pain and he could help, his moral compass. His bitchiness lol. On the flip side, his more detrimental traits, like his homophobia and his coping mechanisms in regards to his own unprocessed feelings, among other things, were things he had to confront and at least try to evolve past off. And his journey from being that to becoming Shen Qingqiu helped him grow up as an individual and as a person, gave him a place where he belonged and his life mattered.

#svsss #svsss meta #shen yuan #shen qingqiu #zykamiliah-svsss #zykamiliah posted this #the scum villain's self saving system #scum villain meta #scum villain

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taeyungie · 3 years

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💬

#you know what hurts? i can't stop thinking about what tae said today #taehyung said in the vlive that he doesn't like the way he look which is why he didn't post pictures for the past 6 months #i try not to overthink because.. what can i do anyway #but it just breaks my heart. and it's not even about him but the way that all people just.. sometimes don't see hew beautiful they are #and they're so certain in their belief that they won't change the opinion no matter what #but hearing it from HIM #and with the fact that the last picture he posted was in december; full body; with half of his face covered #and the actual selca was posted many more months ago #is just making my heart hurt #because he's so perfect that i cannot describe it with my own words #he's so perfect so gorgeous so stunning and exquisite #there's not enough words in any existing language to describe how perfect he is #and the way we have troubles believing he's real sometimes #he was insecure about his looks from the beginning. there were always these little things he would mention that didn't seem like a big deal #he's always stressed out and now probably even more with his mixtape and their packed schedule.. i just :( i always worry so much about him #i know it's probably stupid because yeah the truth is we don't know them privately and how they're doing in real life #because they only tell and show us what they want us to see #and I've been thinking that maybe the bonds we create with idols isn't supposed to be there.#that it's just a tactic that industry uses to make them seem like angels to make us feel attached to them...#but we just know how good hearted everyone in bts is. there's no doubt to it and no fan service will ruin it because we just /know/#ahh i don't know. i hope he's okay. and i just wish i could tell him how handsome he is and boop that stupid nose of his that i love sm 😔😔#goodnight ~#ems

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lonelyheartsclub1776 · 4 years

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I DON'T NEED A LICENSE TO BE MY GODDAMN SELF SO THERE'S NOTHING STOPPING ME, BABY!!

#jupiter #hi it's me #it's been a rough wild hellish month and a half #i - like everyone i presume - have had lots and LOTS of time to think about life lately #and in between the truly debilitating anxiety i've had a few epiphanies #1) there's literally no reason why i shouldn't view the universe however i believe it to exist #it won't change anything about the world at all - only my own personal experience living in it #there's honestly something freeing in believing you're an insignificant tiny piece of the universe #sure actions have consequences and all that - but if they won't matter in the long run why care?#2) we all have our own beliefs and opinions on what's right and wrong and what's good and bad #there is always some fact to be considered but for the most part it comes down to whether or not you personally like something #sooo there's really no point in arguing in comments sections about why this acclaimed movie actually sucks #or why this old song is so much better than all the music coming out today #and fine you don't have to like it but don't you dare say that there's nothing good being made these days cause that's just not true #you gotta put some effort into finding your thing #4) we don't need to justify ourselves to ourselves - i mean no one should have to feel guilty for the things that are naturally a part of us #and it's really easy to get caught up in the negative stuff people say online - even if it doesn't apply to you -#whether they're trashing a movie you like or chastising a certain element of a culture you're a part of #you don't actually have to listen to them just because they sound angry #you're not at fault and you don't have to feel guilty #you can be a good and intelligent person and like that action movie at the same time! they're not mutually exclusive #it's like how humor is extremely subjective #no two people think all the same things are funny and everyone thinks their sense of humor is superior #ok that's all i feel like saying right now #hope everyone is doing okay

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bakugou-simp · 4 years

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⚠️SPOILERS for bnha, and the heroes rising movie⚠️

I have rarely voiced these opinions, but I think it's about time I did.

See, there is a fine difference between ships and what is more likely to be canon, for me at least. As of right now I do not believe that bkdk will come anywhere near to being a canon romantic relationship, not only because of the type of manga/anime bnha is but also because of the development and change that would need to happen in order for it to even be possible. For the type of manga, I also believe Izuku or Katsuki being with anyone of the same sex is also out of the question. Horikoshi has put two transgender characters (and supposedly a bisexual character) in his manga, yes, but I do not see us getting anything more than that.

I am a multishipper through and through however, and I ship almost anything you can name that isn't incest, pedophilia, or abusive. Kirideku, for instance, and Todobaku as well. I like those ships, I think they're very cute and make a lot of sense. The only ships I don't like (I won't name them) I dislike purely because of the people who ship them. The way they act completely disgusts me.

But let's take a look at why BakuDeku, in my opinion, is commonly misunderstood.

I think there are a lot of misconceptions about the BakuDeku ship, and I don't say this just because I personally ship it.

Katsuki

Season 1, as soon as Katsuki was introduced I hated his guts. I couldn't stand watching him bully Izuku, let alone telling him to go and jump off of a building. I wanted to reach through the screen and punch him myself. I don't take things like that lightly, and so I thought to myself I will never like this character. Even as time went on, season 2 and all the way up to season 3, I couldn't stand him.

He was an abusive person terrified of his childhood friend becoming something that perhaps he feared that he himself could not. He's disgusting towards everyone, showing only disrespect and arrogance.

When he was kidnapped is when things started to change for me.

Not just his reaction alone-- "Deku, stay back"--but also Izuku's. Izuku is one to forgive way too easily, in my opinion, but I doubt he forgives someone if he truly doesn't think they deserve it. So for whatever reason, Izuku thinks Bakugou deserves his trust and forgiveness.

If you look at it like this-- Izuku knowing Katsuki better than anyone else, not only from his observations but as well from his up close interactions with the other. Taking this into account, maybe Izuku knows something we don't about Katsuki. We know for sure his mother was borderline abusive--as seen from that conversation with Todoroki as well as just how she treats him--, but is that all? We can't know for certain, but it seems that Izuku might.

Let's say that none of that is true, let's go ahead and say that Katauki is just what he seems to be: an arrogant prick with a superiority complex. Even so it's impossible to say that he hasn't changed at all.

Take this scene for example. Just from this scene alone, from this one thing that he tells a kid he doesn't even know, you can see how much he's grown from when he was 14 years old.

This is turning into more of a Bakugou thing rather than a bkdk one, but hang in there. This is important too.

He has gone from believing that he is the best of those around him, thinking that everyone else will only get in his way, to recognizing that he has weaknesses just like everyone else. That in its self is a feat to be praised, but top that off with the realization that if he keeps putting others down he'll never see his own weaknesses and you've got one heck of a character development process. Granted, that won't be enough to make up for things he has done in his past.

So let's take a look at his past, shall we?

Raised in a home with, while loving, a push over father and a brash and aggressive mother. Whether or not she realized what she was doing, or even if she had been raised in the same way and doesn't see it as wrong, the way she yelled at him undoubtedly rooted something not short of some sort of trauma (disclaimer: I am no expert on trauma) into him. Not only that, but she probably pushed him to be better. Constantly; be better, you aren't good enough, you call that trying? So on, and so on.

Being told his entire life that his quirk is amazing, those around him letting him believe he is an undeniable leader, all of that has made him into what we see in the beginning.

Even before he got his quirk he probably thought he was better than those around him and that they also knew that, that they would follow him for protection or some sort of recognition from great power.

So, we have a 14 year old who thinks the world eats out of his hands. He sees Izuku, quirkless Izuku, as something not worth his time. Someone as great as him has no reason to play around with someone as worthless as Deku.

There is obviously the hinted at miscommunication, as shown during the Deku vs Kacchan 2 fight. The fact that apparently Katsuki sees everything Izuku does as looking down on him, mocking him, calling him weak and so on.

As a person who struggles with this, I can assure you it really is hard to tell the difference between someone genuinely wanting to help and secretly saying they don't think you can do it. Obviously I realize not everyone looks down on me, but because of the need to be independent and to prove myself to those around me, it feels like every outstretched hand is going to burn me when I grab it. Katsuki is far worse in that regard than I am, so I can only imagine how hard it is to admit to himself that someone is offering help and not mockery.

So let's say this entire time, their entire lives spent together, Katsuki has seen Izuku--someone who was quirkless--as one of the many people who doubts his abilities. Of course he's going to treat him worse than he treats others, but none of that makes it okay. None of that, any of this, erases what has been done.

That being said it does create a bridge for his redemption, for a deserved forgiveness, and yes I truly do believe he will earn that forgiveness.

It's going to take a long time for him to grow into the fact that accepting help doesn't equal to accepting defeat, and that offering it doesn't equal to the belief of weakness.

Katsuki, in my opinion, started to see his faults around the time be befriended Kirishima. Kirishima is strong, so obviously Katsuki is going to want him on his side, but there is more to it than that. I truly believe that Kirishima sparked the change in Katsuki, or at least held the match for the flame to be sparked.

Kirishima and Katsuki's friendship is what I imagine Izuku and Katsukis's might have been like if Izuku had gotten a quirk, as that is all that mattered to Katsuki. He never cared much about the person attatched to the quirk, only how it might help him. Meeting Kirishima, a person who believes everyone is strong and that they can do anything they want with the resources handed to them, must have irritated the piss out of him. Another person who seemed to think that the weak could be strong.

Being around that kind of thinking will eventually rub off on you, however. Even off onto someone like Katsuki. Especially after seeing Izuku's potential with his own two eyes.

So all of those thoughts of Izuku being a weak nobody turned instead to thoughts of Izuku being a threat to him and his goal. It's better than the first, but it really doesn't do well for them being anything other than rivals.

So, right now in his character development process? BakuDeku even being friends seems like a far off thought.

So now, let's take a look at Izuku.

Izuku

His entire life he's been told by Katsuki that he is lesser, he will amount to nothing, he's completely worthless. That never stopped him from arguing, denying, or wanting to be a hero. Finding out he has no quirk didn't stop him, and being told he might as well die didn't stop him.

Izuku is a wonderful person with a huge heart, a heart that wants to save every single person it comes across, and a heart that sees the best in everyone around it.

He went from being someone in the background, never standing out or doing extraordinary things to a person who will stop at nothing to save one single life. He no longer lingers at the sides, or fears his own abilities. He strikes with confidence in himself, in his peers, teammates, and all of those around him. He uses the hearts of those he wishes to save as a boost to help him win the day.

Meeting Iida and Uraraka, and many other amazing individuals, helped him realize that there are people who believe in him and want to see him succeed. Not everyone will treat him like Kacchan, or only see him as being in the way.

Do I believe that he had to have resented Katsuki in some way for some amount of time? Absolutely. In fact, he might still.

Him forgiving Katsuki wasn't out of the others development at all. It was out of his own achievements, his own confidence, that he was able to come past all of that negativity and believe in himself as a hero. For that reason, he was able to at least not hurt from what Katsuki done to him, if he hasn't yet forgiven him.

Sadly I don't have a lot to say about Izuku's development, or his thought process, but I do know that Katsuki has always been his image of victory, and I do now believe that he can finally see himself as his own image of victory. Or at least, more than just his tormentor.

Heroes Rising

I want to talk a little about the events of heroes rising, dispite it not being a canon part of the universe. It has been said that the movie was what Horikoshi imagined the end of bnha to be, and that is what I'm going with here.

In the movie Katsuki is still his usual superior self, treating Izuku the same as he always has. When there is no immediate danger, and even during a fight neither of them expected to walk away from. Now this may be do to Horikoshi changing it to fit more into just an alternate period of the present instead of perhaps a more time skipping version, but I am not aware of that being false nor true.

Even so, Izuku showed the same amount of care for every individual person as he always does. Katsuki on the other hand, he seemed to care just a little more than his typical self.

Even going as far as to use Sero's actual name when he's calling out, concerned for the other.

Especially, in the way he treated Izuku suggesting giving him one for all just so they could win the battle.

They both knew what this would mean for Izuku, and it's pretty obvious Katsuki didn't want to do it at first, but he's not clueless. He knew that Izuku was right, without two one for all's they and everyone on the island would have died. Throughout the process never once does he say anything about himself, he's only ever concerned about what would happen to Izuku and about saving the island.

Izuku was willing to give up his dream for an entire island, because that is his dream. His dream is to save lives and become the greatest hero, and saving an entire island is exactly that. He trusted Katsuki because he knew All Might would, and if All Might would trust this quirk with a person such as Katsuki, clearly others besides us, Katsuki and Izuku can see his development.

Their Relationship

Now, in regards to the actual conversation of misconceptions. I do believe that at first glance, that being not taking into consideration home life and miscommunications among these two in their own time, any sort of romantic relationship for these two would be seen as abusive. Because right now, if they both weren't more busy with training to be heroes rather than relationships and for some reason decided to be together, that's what it would be. Katsuki has a lot of things to sort through in his own head, and after he gets that settled they both have a long road to being able to be anything close to friends.

So being rivals is the best for them at the moment. They are each others core motivation, the reason they push and push themselves even when there's nothing left to push. Which over time is going to build a strong connection, more than what they have.

Eventually I do believe they could be friends, a hero duo is even more likely as they've already proven just now as training heroes that they work well together.

That being said if anything romantic were to come of it, it would be in a much later date.

Another misconception might be that bkdk shippers either ignore the way Katsuki has treated Izuku or just don't see it at all, which may very well be true about a lot of younger (or even older) people who might just see their rivalry as some sort of romantic tension. Which happens a lot in anime. However many of us see this ship and see the development, the huge development that will take place in order to be something more, and that is something we would absolutely love to see.

Shipping (for me personally)

I think that most ships in this fandom have good reasons for being shipped, and even if they don't as I've said there is a difference between shipping something and thinking it will become canon.

Personally, I think any ship becoming canon would ruin the manga. I see bnha as something that is perfect without any building romance, that being said a little background romance wouldn't hurt.

As far as relationships among the students goes, I'd hate to see any of them actually start dating. At this age, when they're doing things that are far more important, it doesn't seem like the right decision at all. That doesn't stop me from reading fanfictions, or looking at fanart, or saying that I ship two or more characters together. It's all harmless fun, until you turn into an Anti. I have absolutely no respect for antis and I severely hope they never interact with me.

In conclusion

I do not think that bkdk will be a canon ship in the mangas current timeline. That however, doesn't mean I can't ship them or think that eventually something could come of all of their character development.

Like it or not a good part of Izuku, his development, his personality, his dreams and life goal come from Katsuki. They come from knowing him nearly his entire life, from seeing him as a symbol of victory since they were kids and even up until now.

You can dislike bakudeku as a ship, you can ship other things and all that, but to deny that they aren't important to each others entire character-- and yes I do mean both of them, Katsukis's character also revolves a lot around Izuku--is to be blinded by your "hate" for the ship or even for Katsuki as a character. BakuDeku as a friendship/rivalship is way more important than as a relationship, and I think that's something everyone who loves either of them needs to respect.

The entire reason that they are were they are right now is because of All Might, their shared admiration for a strong hero for different aspects of said hero. That he never loses, and that he always saves everyone. Both traits make up their own respective heroes, Izuku and Katsuki happening to be opposites on that spectrum.

Their current existence thrives off of each other. Where they once looked to All Might for motivation, they now find it amongst themselves. As seen many times, when Katsuki asks Izuku "when are you going to hurry up and make that quirk your own?" You can choose to see that as him looking down on Izuku, but all I see is him wanting Izuku at his fullest potential so they can both give their all against each other, while at the same time with each other (though I doubt the second part is what Katsuki is thinking, those are just my thoughts.)

All in all, they push each other to be better, and I can't help but respect that.

(I'm sure there will be at least one person who will come around and reblog this just to say how much they disagree with me and why I'm wrong, so if you're that person I'd appreciate it if you just didn't. Your opinions are your opinions, but I'm not going to tell you that you're wrong so I don't want to see you telling me that. Thank you.)

posted on tue, Aug 25th

#don't come for me #these are just my personal opinions #and how I see it all #so if you disagree #disagree in silence #thank you #bkdk #bakudeku #bakugou katsuki #izuku mydoria #katsuki x izuku #bakugou x midoriya

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